#i didn't want to go into using Preview as my final step because it did nothing for Coloring so

[oswlld]

Show Your Coloring Before & After

was tagged by @rose-nebulijia + @laowen ♥ thank u babes

As previously mentioned, all edits are done on mobile apps. Here, I specifically wanted to focus on the raw export onto my computer before sizing/fonts are applied. SW and MARVEL caps typically have screencap galleries in 2160p, while most BL’s I cap myself are required to be 1080p or more. And the most important thing I look for, before editing, is a cap that already shows good lighting and composition. That way, the editing elevates the image.

I won’t go into detail for each edit, but I can touch on my common adjustments and then call out what additional work needed to be achieved for the final edit.

VSCO is my main app for coloring. In addition to having a better quality camera than the built-in one I have, the presets and adjustments achieve better results than other apps I used for IG. I gravitate towards exposure, white balance, vignette, and grain (rip grain 2020-2022, nothing happened but im still bitter its now a subscription feature).

At this point, I am very in tune with what I look for in my edits, so I know how to measure my adjustments and the number range for each (ex: grain ranged between 2.8 to 4.1 depending on the resolution). I now rely on Snapseed for Grain, which is under Grainy Film.

Snapseed is also my go-to app for my most recent editing style — the scratchy or film clip borders (Frames) and then the borders (Expand). If there’s a dusty film look or blurred text, they were overlays (Double Exposure). I’ve also used Perspective, Selective, and Lens Blur in past edits. And of course, text is available here but there’s a limited selection.

When I have made all the necessary adjustments, I specifically save as an Export (not Save or Save a Copy) with the final changes. I find that the Exported images from Snapseed (VSCO too) size down better than the Saved versions.

Size matters, in regards to these edits. Why? I manipulate the size down (commonly from ~1500px+ width to less than 900px), so that the grain is accentuated (and looks sharper). In the end, coloring does skew slightly underneath the grain, which gives off that photograph look moreso than the raw export. Feel free to click on the images to enlarge and see the differences close up. I didn’t mess with the sizing, so it should look slightly different than the post

Additional work for the selected edits are below the cut -

Random BB Screen Cap #12 (Frame 5) - very minimal adjustments, exposure and grain did most of the work

Anakin from Ep VI (Frame 1) - also very minimum, before the additional frame and border; white balance leans heavily on the red side of the spectrum (I think it was above 3.0) before adjusting the saturation down a smidge.

KinnPorsche/War of the Foxes (Frame 4) - I use the B5 preset for all b/w edits in VSCO; image was very mid in coloring, so I used Brush in Snapseed to “burn” the bg

Weeping Angels Set (Frame 12) - very little adjustments needed; white balance leaned more yellow for warmth, in order to work cohesively with the surrounding images; 

BB/Jane Eyre (Frame 2) - again, very little need to be adjusted; the seat lean more pink, but I needed the set to match the purple in Frame 3; white balance leans more blue

The Good Place (Frame 3) - similar to all above statements with adjustments; the additional ’scratches’ come from Unfold, another app I use frequently for this affect and others; I believe this can be found under Journals(?); I export the template and then go back to Snapseed to crop out the excess

BB Top 3 Eps (Frame 2) - Unfold again, but this is under the Paper series; if I want variety in the “folds”, I would flip the image upside down

BB Film Noir #2 (Frame 1) - the only time I used contrast and exposure to its extremes; also heavily relies on using Double Exposure in Snapseed to add in the old film effects and blurred text

Feel free to reach out if you want to know some specifics or if you want to just learn how to apps work. Will also add this to the q&a section.

tagging @mrdumpling @actually-yikes @pranpats @taeminie @loversmore @liyazaki @dingyuxi (no pressure if you’ve already done it or whatnot, i just adore you guys okay)​

#bad buddy #vishingwell #mjtag #usernuria #userkit #usertaeminie #usermor #samblr #badbuddyedit #tagged #not sure how this needs to be tagged lmao #vish i am very much like you and need to keep my space organized #i delete almost everything off my computer and phone when i am done with an edit #so too am surprised when i found the og images still on my phone #and i am very much like mj in that when use mobile for editing #gotta make due with the limitations of what's available on the apps #but i mainly add text and post on desktop #i didn't want to go into using Preview as my final step because it did nothing for Coloring so #thanks for tagging me !!

[ravenadottir]

i started playing season 6, and i've got shit to say for the half of dozen people that are still following me in this cobweb infested blog (i apologize, i'll be explaining what's happening on a different post)

i'm only on day 2 of the season, right when it's announced that roberto is coming (which is so disappointing to me that he isn't brazilian but portuguese, like... WHEN ARE WE GETTING A GOOD BRAZILIAN CHARACTER????)

anyway, here are my thoughts:

WRITING:

i actually didn't see much of a problem with it so far. it feels on par with similar conversations we had in the past, except this time we're getting to know them a little deeper than, say, season 3.

knowing bella's family situation or roberto's is kind of refreshing because we barely learned bobby had a sister on a throwaway scene on s2, so... yeah, it's ok.

i like how they express themselves because as an litg player, i'm used to some eloquence, but as someone who sometimes watches the show i HAVE to suspend my disbelief since i know islanders from the show are just... NOT GOOD AT EXPRESSING THEMSELVES, to say the least.

i like the conversations we had so far, it felt fluid and fun, but then again i've only coupled up with jamal, because obviousoly i did, who would i go for, fucking ryan? WAKE UP.

the challenges piled up but because of how many dialogues we had in this little time i think it worked pretty well.

CHARACTERS:

grace - girl, it's been a day and ozzy is not even that hot. HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF? he's punching, not you. chill. (and i hate they're giving the intensity they gave hope here, feels bitterly familiar and they better fucking knock it off).

bella - FINALLY a girl i like who's available and slutty (affectionate) since the beginning. i absolutely think bella might be right there with talia when it comes to arc as an LI, but we'll see. if anyone dares stealing her or if fusebox even make the slight suggestion of a slowburn i'm burning their HQ idc

ivy - alright i see you bootleg marisol, but i don't give a shit, you're annoying, die in a hole.

amelia - i think she's putting a front and deflecting the negative attention to ivy but that's just me. also, the twist of the public choosing who she should couple up with before she could tell us is extremely dumb and unnecessary, but also a reason for her to say a different name later, maintaining her image of good sister. i don't trust her, i WILL step on her head to the finale, die in a pit you're also annoying.

jamal - i like the attention but everything with moderation gives me way more tingles than a crybaby that can't stop talking about how he wants to be with me again. we were coupled up for a few hours and only had one conversation, chill bitch. it's giving ted mosby and every himym fan knows how bad that is. i'm not sure if every guy that the public chooses to be with amelia on night 1 acts the same, but i'm slightly turned off. it's too much boy, calm down, i'm here to be a slut, calm down.

ryan - get a haircut or let it grow because looking twelve and the coolest lesbian at the same time is not the look for you. its giving hipster with a chemistry kit at the local café.. also, either you're the douchey musician or a bad poet, you can't be both, PICK A STRUGGLE.

lewie - the impersonation of being stuck in traffic. i don't care for you, die in the same hole as ivy and amelia.

ozzy - fucking pulling the noah, man. i've seen this before and i'm not interested. stop being such a coward and tell grace how you feel. i know for a fact you're gonna be drama and it's because you refuse to be honest. it's so embarrassing, bestie.

roberto - HOT. i only saw the preview but i'm excited.

PACING

it's great. i think it was kind of weird how fast and furious it was with some previous seasons (remember the last season i played was 3 and half of 4 {it was soooo tedious i gave up half way through}) but i think so far it's ok. it definitely has better cliffhangers than other times when they thought they tried their darnedest.

OBSERVATIONS WITH SCREENSHOTS:

there's no fucking way they thought these were worth diamonds. and 22 diamonds for that frufru purple shit??? it looks like something who doesn't sew would put together with a hot glue gun, stop.

ivy i might kill you like they kill one of those vampires at the end of the twilight saga, by opening your mouth so wide it cracks off your skull. SHUT - UP.

and amelia... you're irrelevant, get out.

BUDDY, YOU'RE THE MOUTHPIECE OF THE GROUP NOW, HOLY SHIT. grace has me on my knees, i can't.-

bitch, we did! i kissed you in the challenge. EXCUSE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF! (also, for the breasts appreciators, i feel you, boobs are great, really! but like, those... two... lines... coming out of the bikini???? yeah, that is actually what gets me. you didn't need to know but i told you anyway, because i'm happy bella is hot and cool and i don't know how to shut up when i'm love, leave me alone!) whoever designed her knew EXACTLY what they were doing.

I LOVE GRACE. I JUST DO.

i'll give ryan some cool points because 1, he burned ivy in front of everyone, and 2, he admitted and owned up to it. good for you, bestie, good luck when you take a trip to the hair salon and get rid of that... hair. also, STOP SKIPPING LEG DAY BUDDY. from the waist up it's giving "abs, hot, i go to the gym", from the waist down is giving "i'm twelve and there's a reason i go to the beach in pants".

bella and grace looking naked and glamorous but feeling threatened by this ugly ass dress is the funniest joke in the writing so far. truly. i've had mermaid costumes at 4 years of age less embarrassing than this atrocity. stop lying, bella and grace, YOU'RE BOTH NAKED AND PERFECT.

and that's what i have to say so far. i'll continue playing this season until they inevitably fuck up. i'm not being pessimistic, i'm just... well, i guess i am. but i have no reason to believe otherwise.

also, i keep forgetting ozzy is here even though it's been a day. idk why.

anyways, i'll come back with more litg brain rot in a bit.

#love island the game #litg s6 #litg bella #litg grace #litg jamal #litg lewie #litg amelia #litg ryan #litg ozzy #love island double trouble

[olympushit]

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 8:

Preview: Zeus and Hera finally reconcile! Poseidon and Amphitrite face a new problem. Apollo is on cloud 9 with Hyacinthus, while Ares and Hephaestus have a big fight. Athena and Artemis decide to take the next big step in their relationship. Many more to follow on this unholy episode!

________

Scene 1: (Ares and Hephaestus)

Hephaestus' confessional:

It was a nightmare having Athena bring here Ares' shield. But what can I do? Ares wouldn't come to talk if I asked him to...

Ares: There is my shield!

Hephaestus: Yeah, here it is!

Ares: And why did Athena leave it here?

Hephaestus: Actually, I wanted to talk to you...

Ares: Be done! I don't have all day!

Hephaestus: Well, I wanna apologize for my behavior. I know I shouldn't have intervened in your relationship with Aphrodite. You already built a family together! I did all that because I needed the reassurance that I was important and that my presence in this mountain isn't vain! I know it is not a justification of my actions, but I understand my mistake now and I wanna apologize to you because you are my older brother, and my behavior towards you was egotistical and cruel!

Ares: Are you done?

Hephaestus: Yeah, unless you want to say something back!

Ares: Does that apology make you feel good?

Hephaestus: Not entirely, but it is something-

Ares: Cut it! An apology doesn't erase what you did!

Hephaestus: I know but-

Ares: I don't wanna hear anything! All my life I was nice to you, and you stabbed my back!

Hephaestus: You were nice? I don't think you really were nice to me ever!

Ares: Oh really?

Hephaestus: Exactly!

Ares: When everyone was making fun of you I didn't even flinch! You were crying alone while I explained to everyone how awful it was of them to make fun of you! Even Athena made fun of you but you hold her in a higher place than everyone! And that's one of the reasons no one likes me on this stupid mountain!

Hephaestus: Wait, really?

Ares: Yes!

Hephaestus: But you never came to console me?

Ares: You think that only your life was a living hell? I was neglected too when I was young! And don't make me remember that no one came to look for me when I was trapped in that fucking jar!

Ares turns and leaves

Hephaestus: And I guess there is bad blood again!

______________

Scene 2: (Apollo and Hyacinthus)

Apollo: Babe! Are you having a good time?

Hyacinthus: Yes!

Apollo's confessional:

That pool party we have established every weekend is simply great! Just me and him with no clothes! (winks)

Apollo: What do think about moving in with me?

Hyacinthus: Really? You want to live with me?

Apollo: Yes! Absolutely honey!

Hyacinthus: Don't you think it's a little early to think about it?

Apollo: You have all the time in the world to think! I don't pressure you!

Hyacinthus: Ok, I'll move with you!

Apollo: That's what I like to hear!

Insert Kiss scene with both of them naked

Artemis: Apollo, you won't believe-

Artemis: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Apollo and Hyacinthus cover themselves frantically

Artemis: My eyes! My eyes! Where is the bleach!

Apollo: What are you doing here?

Artemis with her back to them: I was looking for you to tell you something, but you traumatized me for life?

Apollo: What is it?

Artemis: Where is the bleach?

Apollo: What do you want it?

Artemis: To erase that image off my mind!

Apollo: Stop being silly! What did you want to tell me?

Artemis: Are you covered?

Apollo: We have wrapped towels around us, turn around!

Artemis turns around

Artemis: Ares and Hephaestus fought badly, and Poseidon with Amphitrite decided to help in Hera's satanic plan to catch Zeus in the act!

Apollo: NO WAY!

Artemis: YES WAY!

Apollo: Let's go!

Hyacinthus: What about me?

Apollo: I'll take care of you when I come back! (winks)

Artemis: Eeeeewwwww!

__________________

Scene 3: (Hera, Poseidon and Amphitrite in Poseidon's sea getaway)

Amphitrite whispering to Poseidon: I don't think that helping Hera is a good idea!

Poseidon: She is my older sister, I don't really have a choice here!

Amphitrite: Low blow.

Hera enters

Hera: Well, I tried to track him through the monitor detector on his wedding ring but nothing! I can't detect his location!

Poseidon: Are you sure?

Hera: I tried it over a 100 times!

Amphitrite: Maybe he took off his wedding ring?

Hera: What?

Poseidon: Oh no!

Amphitrite: I mean, if he is with another woman why would he wear his wedding ring?

Hera: You are dead!

Poseidon: Calm down, you'll cause a typhoon!

Amphitrite screaming: Poseidon help! This bitch pulls my hair!

Hera: Who did you call a bitch?

Amphitrite: You of course!

Hera: Poseidon!

Poseidon: Ladies, we can solve it in a peaceful way! And this is not what you should be doing now Hera!

Hera leaves Amphitrite's hair

Hera: You are right...

Amphitrite: Well, deal with it yourselves, I don't wanna meddle in any drama!

Amphitrite departs

Hera: Now what?

Poseidon: I have an idea...

________________

Scene 3: (Hermes, Dionysos and Ariadne)

Dionysos: I love you babe!

Ariadne laying on his chest: I love you too!

Both are ready to kiss until Hermes barges in

Hermes: What are you doing here you little lovebirds?

Dionysos: Now that you barged in like that, nothing!

Hermes cheekily: Did I spoil your fun?

Ariadne: Anyway, what did you want?

Hermes: Did you forget that we were about to have a Pyjama party tonight?

Dionysos: Oops!

Ariadne: And I was horny!

Hermes: Well, I can leave the room and I'll be back in 5 minutes.

Dionysos confused: 5 minutes?

Hermes: Will it take longer?

Dionysos: Excuse me?

Ariadne: Not this again!

Hermes: How long do you two fuck?

Dionysos: I'm the god of parties! Do you think I fuck in just 5 minutes?

Hermes: I don't know man!

Dionysos: Wait!

Hermes: Don't you say it!

Dionysos: You only last 5 minutes?

Hermes: No! I was just teasing you!

Dionysos: No way!

Dionysos falls back in laughter

Ariadne: I guess no sex today....

________________

Scene 4: (Athena, Artemis and Hephaestus)

Hephaestus: So all that happened with Ares....

Athena: Wow, I must admit he was right...

Artemis: I agree.

Hephaestus: I feel so bad!

Athena: Look, Ares loves you. I think you should give him time. He won't hold grudge against you.

Artemis: Even though his ego is big, he is an understanding person!

Hephaestus: I guess it was too early indeed!

Athena: Well, don't worry. Everything will be okay.

Hephaestus: I guess so.

Artemis: Well, let's talk about something happy!

Athena: We have something to announce!

Artemis: It was a hard decision, but I think it will worth it.

Hephaestus: Come on! Do tell me!

Athena: We'll take the next big step in our relationship!

Hephaestus: Honestly, you are made for each other...

Athena holds Artemis' hand with big eyes

Hephaestus: Well?

Artemis: We'll adopt a puppy!

Hephaestus:..............

Athena: I thought you would be happy...

Hephaestus: I am, but I expected something more tremendous.

Artemis: Like?

Hephaestus: I don't know, something like moving in together like Apollo with Hyacinthus did.

Artemis: Eeeewwww! Don't remind me!

Athena: What happened?

Artemis: I saw them kissing by the pool! Naked!

Athena: Oh....

Hephaestus: I mean, sounds logical to me.

Athena: We assexuals don't relate!

Hephaestus: I think I'll turn assexual too.

Artemis: Why so?

Hephaestus: No one loves me, so...

Athena: No, don't say that!

Artemis: You are great just the way you are, others are idiots for not seeing that!

Hephaestus: You say that? You both were making fun of me being ugly! Only Ares didn't!

Athena:........

Artemis:..........

Hephaestus: I'm leaving!

______________

Scene 5: (Demeter, Persephone and Hestia)

The three of them shake their salads and proceed to eat them

Persephone: What will Hera do?

Demeter: I don't know honey, she and Poseidon are on some wild shit right now.

Hestia: Why all that drama? Can't they just sit down like grown ups and solve their differences?

Demeter: Sometimes it is just too much!

Hestia: Persephone what will you do with Hades?

Persephone: I decided to give it a chance. It may not be bad afterall.

Demeter: In this case I agree.

Persephone: You never agree with Hades, so this time that you did agree I decided to go for it.

Hestia: Mother-daughter time is the best!

Demeter: When are gonna leave?

Persephone: Probably tomorrow. He must be so alone!

Hestia: What do you think about the Ares-Hephaestus thing?

Demeter: I kinda agree with Ares on this one! The boy always loved his brother!

Persephone: I agree too! We were all awful to the both of them.

Hestia: I think they will reconcile, they love each other.

Persephone: Oh! I didn't tell you!

Hestia: What?

Persephone: Artemis walked in on Apollo and Hyacinthus making out naked by the pool!

Demeter: WHAT? WHEN?

Persephone: Artemis wanted to rip her eyes off!

Hestia: I don't blame her!

Demeter: Hilarious!

Persephone: So much happened this week!

Demeter: That's good fir our show actually!

Hestia: No money, no honey!

__________________

Scene 6: (Zeus, Hera and Poseidon)

Poseidon: It will sure work!

Hera: I hope it will!

Poseidon: Hug me, here he comes!

Hera and Poseidon hug each other romantically to make Zeus jealous

Zeus: What's going on here?

Poseidon: I realised that I was married to the wrong woman all this time!

Hera: Me too! Thanks to your infidelities I found my true love!

Zeus: You are joking, right?

Poseidon: Not at all!

Hera: I'm dead serious!

Zeus: I will also be dead serious when I bury you alive Poseidon!

Zeus storms onto Poseidon

Hera: Babe! No!

Zeus: Don't call him babe!

Poseidon: Why? Jealous?

Zeus: I'll kill you!

Hera: Enough! Both of you! Zeus, it was a set up!

Zeus: Huh?

Hera: I wanted you to see what it is like to be cheated on!

Poseidon: Yes dude, now get off me!

Zeus: Hera, I love you! I never wanted to hurt you!

Hera: I love you too! But do you promise to be faithful?

Zeus: I swear on Styx I will never cheat on you again!

Poseidon: ON STYX?

Hera: I'm also surprised...

Zeus: Yeah, on Styx! I swear eternal faithfulness!

Zeus' confessional:

I really mean it this time! Enough is enough!

Hera's confessional:

I was taken aback, but alt least I get to sleep peacefully again!

_______________

Scene 7: (Hades and Persephone)

Persephone: Hades!

Hades: Honey!

Persephone: I'm so sorry babe! I shouldn't have acted like that!

Hades: I'm sorry! It was stupid of me to do such a thing!

Persephone: No, no! You were right. I thought about it and I concluded that it was not bad afterall.

Hades: Really my love?

Persephone: Yes! I love you!

Hades: No I love you more!

Persephone: No, I love you more!

Minoas: Not this again!

Hades: What did that little piece of shit say?

Persephone: He was happy to see us together again!

Minoas: Yes! That's it!

Hades: I'll let it slide this time...

Persephone: Hades, I missed your hammer!

Hades: Let's take you to see it then? (winks)

Hades lifts Persephone up and takes her to their bedroom

Minoas: Hammer?

Minoas:..........

Minoas: Oooooooohhhhhhhh! I gotta go!

___________________

AND THAT WAS EPISODE 8!

I know it took a long time, but university is hectic!

Anyways, I hope you will have a happy new year filled with love and happiness!

See you soon, in a next episode.

2 more to go!

😜😎😀🎆🍗🌲

#greek mythology #incorrect greek mythology #greek gods #incorrect quotes #incorrect greek gods #ares #aphrodite #apollo #hermes #zeus #hera #zeus x hera #ares x aphrodite #poseidon #amphitrite #poseidon x amphitrite #dionysos #ariadne #Dionysos x Ariadne #hades #persephone #hades x persephone #demeter #hestia #artemis #athena #hephaestus #apollo x hyacinthus #keeping up with the olympians #kuwto

[dorianthedoll]

had someone ask about my glitter GIFmaking process so i will give! i exclusively use web-based programs, so you don't need to download any software for this!

to preface, my process is a bit convoluted but it's so my images aren't compressed or made fuzzy. ALSO, these steps are for PC.

this is the final result, but you can make basically anything [and probably something prettier than this, i just made this image to demonstrate rotating & resizing pixel GIFs]

tutorial below!

the site i use for glitter backgrounds is online-image-editor.com

click "UPLOAD AN IMAGE" to get your picture in, then click the "Animation" tab. it'll take you to "Add Glitters". click that!

if your image is over 650x650 pixels, it WILL be rescaled. this is why i only upload images below that size, but it's up to personal preference and the compression isn't that bad unless you're using pixel art.

here are the settings i use when filling with glitter. i always change "Floodfill at selected Color" to "Replace selected Color" because it makes it faster, but it really depends on what you need to be filled. you just click the area on the image that you want to be filled on the preview and it'll be filled

kaoru jumpscare! here's my image so far! i just open the preview into a new tab to save it. it won't be PERFECT but it'll look presentable and that's all that matters.

NOW, for adding GIFs to this unsuspecting kaoru, i use photopea.com. i usually use GIFcities.org, glitter-graphics.com or tumblr to find GIFs. where the GIFs are from doesn't matter, just make sure you save them as GIFs onto your computer.

when you upload your GIF into photopea, you might realize that it's not moving anymore!

this is OK, it will be a GIF when you export it. if your image is not exported as a gif, make sure that all the frames of each single animation are in the same folder, and all begin with "_a_".

IMPORTANT because i didn't initially include this, but i recommend you duplicate every layer of your background image 1-3 times if you're inserting GIFs with a relatively higher count of frames so the glitter doesn't flash like crazy when you export. to duplicate layers, select a layer and "Ctrl+J". do this for every layer that doesn't have "copy" in its name first then repeat so you don't duplicate the wrong layers.

to open a new GIF or image, you go to "File", then "Open..." . note that you can do this with multiple images/GIFs in one go!

to add the GIF to the image you want edited, make sure you have selected the folder. go to "Layer" then "Duplicate Into ..." and make sure you duplicate to the image you are editing.

if you go to the image, it should contain a new folder containing all the layers from the image you duplicated from.

if you want to move the GIF, select the folder and use "Ctrl+Alt+T" to transform. if you only move the GIF it should not turn fuzzier, but if you want to resize the GIF i usually use ezgif.com/resize with the Gifsicle setting for "Resize method".

you can rotate GIFs by exact 90 degree increments if you hold the "Shift" key while rotating in photopea, however any other rotation WILL make your image fuzzier, and it's a bit harder to rotate the GIF but is possible!

i use ezgif.com/rotate for this, you can do any rotation you want but i did this one.

OK! it's rotated, but there's an annoying navy border so i'll show you how to get rid of that! DON'T bother saving the GIF you have just made, go from "Rotated image" and click "more tools", then "Remove background"

assuming you get the same navy as i do, the HEX code is #282840, but you can get you own hex code by converting the RGB to HEX [or getting a hex colour picker to work, didn't work for me. you can get the RGB by screenshotting and using MS paint]

voila! it is now transparent!

after you've added all your images in and you're satisfied with your image, you should select all the layers by holding "Shift" and selecting the top and bottom folders

and then, you go to "Layer", "Animation" then "Merge". you can always undo this and make edits so do not freak out if you've realized you want to edit parts

now, your GIF is ready to be exported!

go to "File", "Export as" and select "GIF"!

it'll take a while for it to load in, and you might notice an immediate issue! the GIF is too fast! you can fix this by messing around with the speed dial. this is the most frustrating part of GIF making for me because my computer is slow and freezes a lot. just stay patient, and do NOT reload your browser or you'll lose all your hard work!

annnddd that's it! bye bye!

#tutorial #glitter gifs #glitter graphics #glittercore #GIF #gif tutorial #kaoru hakaze #ensemble stars #fatal fury #hope this is helpful

[andileighwrites]

We Ran and Found Home - Chapter 6 | Nancy (April 1957) BOOK PREVIEW

"You're sending me away?" Nancy muttered as she stood before her father in the middle of his study. He sat at his desk and did not in the slightest look upset with the news he was delivering to his daughter.

"It's a year-long program," her father said. "One year where you will learn to be lady-like. You'll come out of it a better woman! A woman prepared to be a wife and mother. It's very well-rounded, Nancy."

Her heart dropped further. "I don't want to go."

"Well, you don't have much of a choice. You run around with hooligans and you refuse to learn proper manners here at home. You desperately need to have a change of scenery and get away from that Lonnie."

"We broke up." Nancy's face flushed.

"Oh?"

Nancy nodded while trying not to cry. "He's marrying someone else." She crossed her arms.

"See? Something a common rat would do. Use you up just to break your heart."

"He broke up with me because of how hard you are on him."

"Well see, another excuse. Not man enough to handle his future in-laws? You're better off without a man like that, Nancy."

"Do I still have to go?"

Her father scoffed while he poured himself a glass of scotch. He sat the bottle down on his desk and the sound of the glass bottle hitting the mahogany snuffed out the silence in the room. "Of course you still have to go. You're getting too old for these games. It's time you grew up."

"You can't make me go. What does Mother say about this?"

"Your mother agrees! She attended this school before it relocated to the hotel. It's very prestigious and your mother is proud that you are waking up and thinking about your future."

"When are you planning to get rid of me?"

"In a month. In May. And we're not getting rid of you, Nancy. For Pete's sake. You'll return in a year and you will debut. Like we talked about."

"Of course," Nancy laughed, "the debutante party meant to further place distress on my shoulders."

"Not a party, Nancy. A wonderful opportunity to find suitors. You need a husband. No daughter of mine will go without a proper husband and die alone!"

"This is crazy." Nancy wiped the tears from her eyes.

Her father slammed his palm on the desk. "This is not crazy! You need to stop this foolishness. Lonnie has proven to you that he is not nor will he ever be good enough. This is your chance to prove yourself. It is your chance to make something of yourself! Did you think I didn't worry about you running around with Lonnie? What if you would have gotten pregnant, Nancy? A bastard child to a worthless father. Imagine?"

Nancy couldn't hold back anymore. She burst into tears as she stood in the middle of the study. Her father pushed himself up from his desk and stepped over to her to hug her.

"Now, now," he calmly said as he patted her on the head. "It didn't happen. It didn't happen. You're lucky. Think of it that way, sweetheart. You're lucky!"

Nancy sobbed into his shoulder. "It was never like that with Lonnie. I'm not going."

Her father gritted his teeth. "You'll have plenty of time to argue but the fact of the matter is you are going. That is final."

Nancy pushed him away and stormed out of the study. She slammed the door and her father made his way back to his desk to finish his drink.

Nancy quickly paced to her bedroom and slammed the door shut. She leaned back against the door and continued to cry as she slumped to the floor. She felt the ache in her heart grow stronger. It was bad when Lonnie left her and this additional news was enough to shatter her. It did. She cried. She skipped supper. And then she cried some more through the night. In the morning she heard a knock on her bedroom door and the sound of her mother's voice.

"Nancy? Baby? Why don't you join us for breakfast?"

Nancy didn't get up from her bed. "No, thank you."

Her mother opened the door and peeked inside of the bedroom. The curtains were still drawn shut and Nancy appeared disheveled. "Are those the same clothes from yesterday? You slept in them?"

"So?"

"What do you mean by that, Nancy? You look like a train wreck. Your hair is a mess and your makeup is smudged."

"No one is even here to see me."

"That doesn't matter, Nancy. A woman should look presentable at all times. You look like you had a night on the town and hopped from bar to bar. From boy to boy!"

"Mother!" Nancy threw a pillow at her mother.

"Don't act like I don't know what you were up to with that Lonnie fellow!"

Nancy rolled over and pushed herself up in bed. She stared daggers at her mother. "And what do you possibly think I was up to with Lonnie? Hm? Tell me because I would love to know the details of things I never even did!"

"Don't lie to me."

Nancy was in disbelief. "I am not lying. Lonnie was a wait until marriage kind of guy!" She pulled the duvet cover over her and fell back into her bed. "You and father make terrible assumptions."

"Are they assumptions?"

"Of course they are!" Nancy screamed.

The room went silent. Her mother walked over to the window and pulled the curtains open, letting the sunlight pour into the dark bedroom.

"Well, I'm glad they were only assumptions then. But you can't blame your father and I. We are only looking out for your best interests, Nancy."

"I don't want to go, Mother."

"You have to, baby."

"Please, can you just leave me alone? I would like to be alone." Nancy pulled the covers over her head.

Her mother quietly walked out of the bedroom and shut the door behind her. Nancy lied in bed for a moment before carefully getting up to shut the curtains her mother had opened. After pulling them closed, and blocking out the brightness of the sun, Nancy wandered back to bed and did not come down for breakfast.

...

Copyright ©️ Andi Leigh, 2023

...

Thank you for reading the first 6 chapters of my first novel! I'm hoping to get the book published toward the end of June. Keep an eye out for more excerpts from the book!

#book preview #chapter preview #novel writing #indie novel #writers on tumblr #creative writing #writers of tumblr #writers community #writing blog #original writing #my writing #writing #writing corner #writing community #writers corner #indie author #indieauthor #indie writer #literary fiction #realistic fiction #story writing #indie books #chapter 6 #andileighwrites #andi leigh writes #we ran and found home

[aarontaylorsjohnson]

Hi Liz! I finally caught up on s3 of sanditon. So much happened!! What are your thoughts on it?

ty for asking!!! lengthy observations here and under the cut

yesss! so my favorite observation someone had (on fb iirc) was that is was kind of a regency "love actually"? so many love stories, big and small, grand and humble. i love that. i think the absolute highlights was the montrose kids (harry + arthur too), georgiana and her mother, lady susan and samuel. tbh i like heybourne, they are cute, but they didn't intrigue me as much as the other couples. i do get chills at both cliffside scenes but the writing on colbourne was somewhat up and down for me. however, rewatching s1, i realize sidney pinged dramatically between extremely angry and being in love. he had great moments, "my truest self," the boat conversation, and really, really bad moments (ep 1 ballroom yelling, i think he yelled at charlotte aggressively in the boarding house where g lives, being a brothel patron [yike]). colbourne had great moments, cliffside confessions, trying to get her back in s2, developing into a more patient father, and bad moments, yelling at her after the garden party, being cold to his child and ward, etc. so i can't be an unalloyed devotee to either leading man. samuel, however, has never done anything wrong in his life ever!!!! that man has humor, wit, education, a career, but knows how to party down and flirt artfully with a high ranking courtier.

other highlights of the season:

miss hankins romcom heroine era is NOW

lady montrose was a FANTASTIC gentrified mrs bennet

the use of "gallows" to convey the risks of same sex love at the time was fantastic, they did not beat us over the head with it like some shows (fucking downton abbey). harry was so wonderful and charming and i was surprised because the preview pictures of the montroses didn't encourage me. i hate when shows introduce new characters but don't integrate them well or support them with good writing, but they were a fantastic contribution to existing characters and plots.

edwarddddd. ok augward is... yike. and him using wentworth's "you pierce my soul" was slightly yike. but jack fox is my legit show crush and i could watch him play anything, but villain-heroine is everything. eloise was INCREDIBLE during the scene where edward broke her heart, what a talent that young woman is!

lady denham romcom era!!! i love mr pryce, i also noted he tried to woo her with buggy rides which i HOPE is a throwback to esther and babbington with carriage rides

tom's trumpesque ruthless developer era was a lot but i know the narrative framework needs a 'villain' in every storyline. my only regret is it wasn't revealed mary was faking her illness to troll tom.

the interior set of g's party was EXQUISITE

some folks on fb wanted lockhart redeemed. hard no for me due to the racism, so i was glad to see him go full villainy, and his entrance was serving cruella (plus the fun little dandy cane was menacing until it was shown he didn't need it by skipping down the steps)

lady susan!!!!!! sophie winkleman being both minor british royalty AND a consummate actress is so charming to me. i was so glad to see that character developed instead of retaining the fairy godmother quality from s1 that didn't really show WHY she was drawn to charlotte.

the end was serving pure sense & sensibility with the confusion over engagements. the s&s ending is one of my faves of all time.

very interesting cinematography this season -- many beautiful shots from the floor up at g entering a room, behind people's heads

i loved to see the tea room feature heavily again, i love a good tea room

the show was kinda bold this season in a few ways: frank portrayal of racist and misogynist tropes of black women as hypersexual, seducing white men etc; the sidney slander during the trial dflkshfh; charlotte kissing colbourne whilst engaged

OTIS HEA. i liked him in s1 and thought they clearly showed his heart was true but behavior foolhardy. the actor looked so young in s1 but hottttt in s3.

so the homages. i was less a fan of the overt line borrowings ("you have bewitched me") and more a fan of storylines being borrowed (colbourne rescuing georgiana a la darcy rescuing lydia). i am not mad about it but it did take me out of the scenes somewhat, although i recognize it was fully intentional and meant to be a valentine to period drama devotess.

i take some issue with edward's storyline in s3 after going SO dark in s2. but i'm willing to have selective memory because i'm the jack fox fan of all time

ok last thing - i bought a sanditon prop from a dealer/collector. he has a whole box of them and i'm gonna help him index them and make sure real fans (instead of resellers) are able to have a chance at getting one. it's a prize ribbon from the sandcastle contest in s1 held by tom (kris marshall). i framed it with my pop's help. :)

ty for asking and sorry for writing so much!

#sanditon #sanditon spoilers #lavenderhazemv

[lovecolibri]

Finally watched the episode as well. I was not so impressed. It was a solid episode, but the fandom totally overhypes it. While i did like the emergencies going back to just emergencies without ten minutes of backstory nobody wants to see, it angered me sooo much that each cast member got a scene of how they were doing after a four month hiatus but Eddie (and Chris) nowhere to be seen. They could have easily cut some Buckley-Han family scenes for that. Is this too much to ask for? The final moments also didn‘t came anywhere close to how i felt after watching Eddie getting shot. Sure Buck hanging there was something, but i don‘t know i already moved on and am looking forward to next Monday. Eddie getting shot however still haunts me.

I'm sorry the episode didn't live up to the hype for you. It absolutely did for me for the most part though I agree that the lack of Eddie and the check-in for him and Chris was disappointing to say the least and given that the sperm donor arc is my absolute behated, I would rather have seen less drama about that and checked in with Eddie and Chris. We literally saw EVERY other main character at home with their family except for Eddie 😤😤😤 And after Eddie's arc was consistently one of the only things that fans and GAs liked about s5 it feels incredibly petty and disrespectful to sideline him so hard in s6 🤷🏻‍♀️

I loved the final minutes of the episode, and I absolutely got chills, same with seeing the preview for this week. I also love the shooting scene, but honestly 4x14 is Not It for me personally because *I* wanted more about EDDIE and more from his POV, and more from the firefam ABOUT Eddie like we're getting for Buck, and seeing the firefam and especially Bobby being there for Buck but instead all the scenes that SHOULD have gone to the firefam taking care of Buck or being at Eddie's house for his welcome home party, went to Tay Kay instead so KR could force her into the narrative. Plus Bobby got shot and we just never talked about that again and totally skipped any recovery even though Bobby had issues with pain meds and that could have been something to explore. So while the shooting scene itself is absolutely top tier, chef's kiss amazing, the episode as a whole is a mixed bag for me to say the least, while 6x10 really only had the sperm donor discussion that I didn't like because I don't see the point or what they're trying to accomplish with that arc since Buck isn't going to struggle at all with the difference between donor and dad, so I'm just tired of wasting screentime on it.

My general rule though is to keep my expectations, as much as I can, in the GROUND, so that I'm not disappointed. I forgot that lesson in s4 by foolishly thinking that after having Tay Kay humiliate Buck on purpose, call him a bad friend, and sneer at him about how needy he is (all because he asked her over as a friend to have his back in an uncomfortable situation when she thought it was gonna be for sex and all about her, and she wasn't prepared to actually step up and be a friend so she went out of her way to make things MORE uncomfortable for him out of spite), that it was a clue they would NEVER try to put them together. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ My b. I forgot some women just looooove the idea of pulling "big strong men" down and putting them "in their place" because hashtag feminism or whatever. And after Tay Kay AND L who bragged about enjoying making Buck uncomfortable? It's not too hard to see what kind of woman character KR likes to project on to.

Anyway, sorry the episode wasn't everything you wanted, though it felt much more like a return to form for me, and like you said even the emergencies were back to how they used to be. Brad and JCC really do create magic together, and I hope this energy continues through the rest of 6b because after 6a was just...filler moments with the occasional spark, it felt really good to have that season 3 energy back. At least the cast is giving stellar performances no matter what and the fodder for fics is all sooooo delicious, so we're still getting fed!

#my sweet nonnie friends #911 #911 spoilers #clearing out my inbox #anti bucktaylor #because i went off on a tangent there #sorry i have a brain that is bad #and daylight savings time makes everything worse

[wrestlingisfake]

Sakura Genesis preview

Kazuchika Okada vs. SANADA - On March 21, Sanada won the New Japan Cup tournament, and earned the right to challenge Okada for the IWGP world heavyweight championship. In one-on-one matches, Okada is 8-1 against Sanada. That one win for Sanada was back in August 2019, during the G1 Climax with no gold on the line. In championship bouts, Okada is 3-0.

Despite the lopsided nature of the series, Okada has regarded Sanada as a rival who pushes him to his limits. The tease has always been that Sanada would someday fulfill his potential and score a title win over Okada. But that tease has dragged out for years, as Sanada seemed to be going nowhere as the #3 guy in Los Ingobernables de Japon.

That's probably why it seemed so dramatic on March 17 when he defeated LIJ leader Tetsuya Naito and suddenly quit the group to join Taichi's Just Four Guys (which quickly became Just Five Guys). All of a sudden Sanada reinvented his look and seemed to have a renewed sense of purpose. But that alone won't get the job done, which Okada made clear after Sanada's New Japan Cup victory.

The recent Roman Reigns-Cody Rhodes matchup in WWE has ignited a debate about whether Cody missed the peak to "win the big one, and whether that matters. I think this rivalry is a cautionary tale of beating the challenger too many times and missing the peak. I wanted Sanada to step up to the top, but I stopped believing it could happen; even if it happens now, I will care a lot less than I would have four or five years ago.

I think it's at least possible that Sanada could walk out of this show with the gold. But at this point that's mostly because I believe New Japan would experiment with a weak champion to shake things up, like they did with EVIL in 2020. And if the best I can say for Sanada is that he might be the next Evil, that's not a promising sign. I try not to bet against Okada, and I don't see a reason here to change that.

Hiromu Takahashi vs. Robbie Eagles - Takahashi is defending the IWGP junior heavyweight title. Eagles had been in Okada's faction, CHAOS, but when he issued the challenge for this match he revealed a new allegiance to Zack Sabre's group, TMDK. I'm not sure if that really affects this match, but that's all the story we've been given.

I'd like to think this fresh coat of paint would make Eagles more of a threat to the top of the junior division. But even his run as the champion didn't seem to get New Japan to truly take him seriously. If he won here and held the title through next month's Best of the Super Jr. tournament, that might change everything. But odds are Hiromu will simply retain.

Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI vs. Mark Davis & Kyle Fletcher - Bishamon (Goto and Yoshi) are the defending IWGP heavyweight tag team champions. Aussie Open beat them back in the World Tag League, but when they met again in the final Bishamon avenged the loss to win the tournament, which put them on their way to capturing the tag belts. In the New Japan Cup tournament, Fletcher eliminated Yoshi in the first round, but then he was eliminated in turn by Goto. So this is really the only way to settle the score.

I didn't feel like Bishamon could lose this challenge, but then Mark Davis caught my attention with his unlikely path to the final four of the New Japan Cup. That doesn't mean Aussie Open is in line for a push, but at least now I care enough about the team to care which one is Davis and which one's Fletcher. But really it makes no difference who holds the belts, since the title is basically a hot potato. So I'd say it's anyone's matchup.

Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Shota Umino - This is for Sabre's NJPW World television title, so there's a 15 minute time limit. Umino already beat Sabre in a non-title match on March 15, but it took him 26 minutes to do it. The story here is whether Sabre can use the clock to his advantage.

Indeed, the clock is brought up in all of Sabre's title defenses, as the English announcers compare him to Steven Regal using the time limit to pad his four reigns as WCW television champion. Thing is, Regal did that as a heel move, settling for a draw when he couldn't beat his opponent. Sabre is presented as a face (albeit a dickish one), and he's been a fighting champion, and more importantly none of his defenses have actually gone the distance. So I'm pretty sure he's just going to beat Shota in about 12-13 minutes and that'll be that.

Mercedes Mone vs. AZM vs. Hazuki - Mone is making her first defense of the IWGP women's title. It's s three-way match, so the first woman to score a fall on either oppnent will win the belt. AZM is the STARDOM high speed champion, but her title is not at stake.

The backstory here is that Mone suggested AZM would be a good challenger, but she pronounced it "A-Z-M" instead of "Azumi," so AZM is pissed about that. Hazuki stuck her nose in things and added herself to the match in the time-honored tradition of "just because."

I've read that Mone only has one more match left on her contract; if so this would be it. But that doesn't necessarily mean it would be her last night in New Japan; for all we know she's committed to a new deal, or the current deal is longer than reported. Nevertheless, the three-way format does suggest a way for Mone to drop the title without being pinned, which does sound like the kind of thing they might do if they were writing her out. But I'm pretty sure Mone wants to work the April 23 show in Yokohama Arena, and if she's headed there I think she'll be champ.

Tetsuya Naito & Shingo Takagi & BUSHI vs. Taichi & DOUKI & Yoshinobu Kanemaru - As noted above, Sanada basically said "Friendship with Naito ended, now Taichi is my new best friend." So now Los Ingobernables de Japon and Just Five Guys are gonna fight about it. The LIJ team has two top heavyweights, while the Just Five Guys trio has...Taichi, basically. I mean, I like Douki but you can kinda see why Taichi needed to recruit a big name. Since J5G needs all the help they can get, I figure Taichi will pin Bushi.

Tama Tonga & Hikuleo & Master Wato vs. David Finlay & KENTA & El Phantasmo - Finlay was the runner-up in the New Japan Cup, but he at least scored a win over NEVER champion Tama Tonga, so he's probably going to make a run for that title. Phantasmo is having trouble adjusting to Finlay as the new leader of Bullet Club. Hikuleo is partly responsible, seeing as he's the one who ran the old leader, Jay White, out of Japan. Kenta seems pretty chill with whatever, I guess. Wato is in this match to get pinned.

Jeff Cobb & Aaron Henare & Francesco Akira vs. EVIL & SHO & Yujiro Takahashi - Evil eliminated Cobb in the New Japan Cup, but then he was eliminated by Cobb's United Empire teammate, Mark Davis. So I guess that means the United Empire and the House of Torture gotta fight. I would have Yujiro lose the fall here, but I could definitely see Henare getting beat, so this could go either way.

Shinnichi Champion Grand Prix Celebration Match - This is supposed to be a trios match to celebrate New Japan's variety show, Shinnichi Champion, winning some kind of popularity contest. They've sorta tried to explain what this means, but I don't get it. Then again, I don't watch the Japanese TV channel that was running the poll, so I suppose I didn't need to understand it.

Anyway, the participants of the match won't be revealed until each of them comes through the curtain. Judging from who's been appearing on this tour, my guess is we'll see crowd-pleasers like Hiroshi Tanahashi, Toru Yano, Tomoaki Honma, and Ryusuke Taguchi. All the guys from Strong Style (Minoru Suzuki, Ren Narita, and El Desperado) should also be available. If they really want to go nuts, they should randomly stick somebody like Great-O-Khan in there. But I wouldn't count on anything too wacky. I'm sure some babyfaces will prevail, though.

#njpw #sakura genesis #kazuchika okada #sanada

[cassandrabaresi]

Educated Youth of Kitchen Goddess in the 1970s

The amount of homework in the evening is not much, Gu Hezhi mainly ordered everyone to thoroughly understand the topics that have been discussed today, and then preview what will be discussed tomorrow. For those who have a bad memory, reviewing is more important than learning. So the evening self-study was harmonious, and no one asked questions at the beginning. After a long time, Gu Hezhi fell asleep on the chair unconsciously. I can't help it. I'm a little sleepy because I'm too full for dinner. It was not until Wen Xiaorou was the first to step out of her seat that she asked a question about the crane. In fact, she almost understood the problem, but there were still some small points left. After all, Gu Hezhi has aho married the princess in the fairy tale. Wen Xiaorou saw that her heart was pounding, but she still did not grasp her hand. She pushed Gu Hezhi to wake up: "Teacher,interactive digital whiteboard, I have a problem." Gu Hezhi was suddenly awakened by Wen Xiaorou, and his heart was reluctant. When he woke up, he didn't pay attention to managing his expression and glanced at Wen Xiaorou unhappily. Gu Hezhi got up very angry, and his eyes were like a few thin knives, which made Wen Xiaorou a little confused. I felt that the beautiful illusion of my prince charming was full of cracks by the eyes that had just come over. The girl did not expect that the little teacher, who had always been gentle today,interactive touch screens education, would suddenly look at her with such an expression. Gu Hezhi's eyes finally focused and saw clearly that it was his student standing next to him. Suddenly feel bad, afraid is just scared her. He quickly adjusted his expression while fretting in his heart. "What's the matter with you?" The patient tnted to the most difficult question above: "I can't do this." Gu Hezhi lowered his head and glanced at it. Then he could not help frowning: "Didn't I talk about this question in the morning?" Wen Xiaorou heard the displeasure in Gu Hezhi's tone and nervously rubbed the corner of her clothes: "I.." I forgot. She was really nervous and her voice was very low, small like a mosquito, interactive whiteboards in the classroom ,75 smart board, delicate and delicate, as if she was going to break at any time and anywhere. Wen Xiaorou looks very good, and she is a little Jasper. Put it in the other people's place, and it may be somewhat pity to see her nervous appearance. Can Gu Hezhi now just wants to throw the paper in front of his eyes. This guy's face is gone. It doesn't matter whether he is male or female, ugly or beautiful. Why does he want to be here with these goldfish who have only seven seconds of memory! Did you forget the ttly put her original calculation steps wrong, resulting in the final result is not right: "This." That's my problem. I can't get it right. Gu Hezhi did not see Wen Xiaorou's Ni Duan and small movements, holding his chin to observe her problem-solving steps: "This step and this step,interactive boards for classrooms, you use a formula wrong, a calculation wrong." Wen Xiaorou saw that Gu Hezhi did not see his careful thinking and breathed a sigh of relief: "Ah, so that's it. I was careless!" Wen Xiaorou hurriedly picked up her pen and began to write and calculate. hsdsmartboard.com

[ljxlj48]

My Duty As Princess

Chapter 04

Lee Jeno x fem reader

masterlist

in collaboration with @urlocaltrash28

preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue

Genre: arranged marriage au! royalty au!

Warnings: none (?)

Word Count: 6.9K

Authors Note: This was suppose to come out like last week Saturday, but I was so focused on finishing my history paper that I didn't post. I'm sorry guys but I hope you can enjoy it now. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333

OH YEAH NEW SCENE HERE GUYS

------------------

Dinner was over and Jeno just left you at your chamber doors. “Chan, a word?” You looked to your guard and walked through your doors, him following ensuite. 

“Yes, my princess?” He shut the door behind him. 

“Chan, it’s me,” you pleaded. 

“(Y/n), what’s wrong?” He took a step closer to you, taking your face in his hand.  

“You’re not angry with me?” You paused, not finding the right words. 

“My princess, are you trying to ask me if I’m okay with you and the prince?” Chan laughed a little, looking at you, pulling his hand away. 

“Chan, I’m being serious.” He put his hand up, stopping you. 

“(Y/n), I will always love you, but it’s time I step back and let you go,” Chan offered a sad smile, taking a step away from you. You wanted to reach out and pull him close, but your arms wouldn’t move, you felt the tears welling in your eyes. 

“Always?” you questioned, wanting him to stay a little longer, “you’ll always love me, even if I love someone else?”

“I will always love you, my princess,” he smiled walking out the door, leaving you to your thoughts. You could feel the tears fall down your face, but you couldn’t even understand why you were crying. You had an amazing day with Jeno; it finally felt like this union was more than a business contract, but you were selfish. You wanted more, you wanted a romance-filled marriage with Jeno, a kingdom to serve, but you also wanted a relationship with Chan, just like back at home. You wanted it all: everything and everyone. 

-

Three weeks away from the wedding, everything was finally in order. There were no more meetings with vendors or talking about options you had. The planning was done. There were a few last things to manage, but it was just the finalization of details. Chan and Hyunjin finally stopped following you everywhere in the palace, but they did remain close most of the time. 

It was weird to wake up to Mei and Fei delivering you news. Most days, they were cleaning around your chambers as you lolled about in bed after turning off your alarm. This time, though, Mei turned off the alarm shortly after it rang. You furrowed your brows gently, rubbing your eyes as you adapted to the golden sun streaming in through the sheer curtains. “Hello?”

The girls giggled at your response. “Good morning, princess,” Fei greets, adjusting the skirts of her dress. 

“G’morning?” It comes out more as a question than a statement or greeting. 

“You’re really dragging today,” Mei hums. “Prince Jeno is waiting for you.”

“What? Why?” You sat up, stretching your arms above your head.

“He did not inform us of the details but told us that you don’t need to worry about dressing nicely or anything. A simple dress will suffice.”

You hum thoughtfully, getting up to use the bathroom and freshen up. You were confused as to what he was planning. It couldn’t have been anything with Lords, Ladies, and their families, because professionalism and grace were essential. You brush through your hair, tipping your head to the side as you examine your appearance. It almost felt weird to look at yourself this long. Fei and Mei usually tended to your appearance, and you trusted that they would always do their best to enhance it. Mei entered your bathroom, holding up your hair as Fei clicked your necklace on, the silver crown charm glittering in the lights of the vanity mirror. Mei gave you a simple blue dress with a nice square neckline, showing off your collarbones covered in soft, silky skin. 

“You look stunning, princess,” Fei smiles. “Now go,” she all but shoves you out of the room, seeing Jeno as soon as you’re out of the door.

“Hey!” You were trying to scold the woman, but you basically said it to Jeno, since you were looking up at him with wide eyes. You weren’t expecting him to be right there.

“Hey!” He said back to you, just as intensely as you accidentally did. He had a mischievous glint in his eyes, clearly knowing that you didn’t mean to say it to him.

You bow deeply to him to hide the blush on your cheeks, not thinking about how, when you bowed, he would probably be able to see down your dress. However, Jeno most definitely noticed it. He knew it was wrong to look at your chest, but it was an involuntary reaction, especially considering how rarely you showed that area of skin. 

“Good morning, princess.”

“Good morning, prince Jeno,” you smiled. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

“You said you wanted to learn how to play the guitar,” he says as if it’s obvious. 

“Yes? But I didn’t assume that you would be wanting to any time soon,” you explained. “With the wedding coming up, there are a lot of things to be thinking about and doing.”

“As you know, most of the preparations are in place. We have time for leisure. So, are you ready?”

“I suppose,” you chuckle and follow his lead. 

He led you to a small room with large windows which overlooked the blooming garden. It was nearly empty, just a couple of couches and chairs around the room. 

“What even is this room?” You ask curiously. You had never been in a room like this.

He chuckles at your question and waves for his servants to come in. They give him an acoustic guitar and a music stand with some sheet music resting on it. “It’s a flex room. It’s just here for when we need it. Otherwise, it’s usually used as a place for the servants to relax,” he explains. 

You hum and nod to acknowledge his explanation and get seated on one of the couches. “It’s nice and cozy.”

He smiles and sits next to you, readjusting the music stand and getting his guitar situated in his lap. He thanks the servants and lets them know that they are allowed to leave. “Are you excited to learn?” He grins, strumming casually to make sure the instrument was tuned correctly. 

You nod shyly, surprised by how talented he was with it; it looked effortless for him. 

“Well, let’s start, then,” he grins and puts the guitar in your lap, taking your hands in his to start you out correctly. You feel small and cared for. His touch was gentle. 

“So put your hand here… and here,” his voice was deep but soft, chin nearly resting on your shoulder. “Hold this string down and pluck this one.” You did as he said, and it didn’t sound too bad but was not nearly as good as when he had been playing the instrument. He chuckles softly, the small puff of air causing your skin to prickle. He thought it was really cute to see your fingers fumbling on the strings. Jeno looked even more handsome in the golden sun of the morning. He taught you a few more chords, the small smile on his face never dissipating. 

After some time, you were able to put a few different sounds together that sounded decent.

“That sounds good!” He cheers you on. “Are you ready to put them in the proper order?”

You pout at his teasing and look away, back down at the instrument in your arms. 

He giggles at your facial expression. “Oh, come on. Don’t be a baby. You can do it. You just have to change the order of them.”

“Fine,” you whine. “What order should I put them in?” He says an assortment of letters and you huff. “I can’t remember which is which by their letters.”

“You just had it,” he gently pinches your arm. “We’ll go slow,” he assures. 

“Okayyyyy.” You followed his instructions, eventually getting a tune down. “It’s twinkle twinkle little star!” You gasp excitedly, making Jeno smile widely.

“Exactly. See, you already learned the chorus of a song, after just like an hour.” He gives an I-told-ya-so look and you roll your eyes playfully.

“I’ll admit that you were right.”

“Of course I am,” he grins and wiggles his eyebrows. “Do you wanna do more or are you feeling kinda guitared out for now?”

“My brain feels a bit like mush,” you admit with a shy giggle.

He chuckles. “Fair enough. I’ll let you go back to your plans for the day.”

“There aren’t many, to be honest. I just have some studying to do until dinner tonight.”

“Alright, well try not to bore yourself to death,” he jokes, leading you out of the small room. When the servants asked if they should clean up the room, Jeno said no, and that he intended on using it for the same purpose again soon. He walks you to your room, where your guards and Fei and Mei were awaiting you. You bow thankfully to Jeno who returns the sentiment before walking back to his own chambers.

When dinnertime rolled around, Jeno insisted on walking you to the dining hall. “I can find the dining hall by myself, Your Highness.” 

-

Jeno was walking you to dinner once again in the evening. “Princess, don’t take this away from me,” Jeno smirked, looking at you, “this is the only time I’m guaranteed with you.” This walk was the one thing that was a constant in your and Jeno’s schedule.  

“Alright then, I’ll grant you the pleasure of escorting me to dinner,” you smirked, teasing the prince. The two of you turned the corner to face Park Jisoo. The sight has the mask falling into place on your face immediately. 

“Jeno,” she called out to him lovingly, looking at him with soft eyes. 

“Jisoo.” You noticed how easily the name rolled off of his tongue. He never addressed you that way- not once. 

She stepped closer, pulling at him, “we haven’t really talked for a minute now,” she sighed, still looking at him, longing for him, “I’ve missed you.” Watching them made your stomach turn. 

“I- I’m sorry,” Jeno seemed out of breath, almost afraid to say the wrong thing. Your mask was starting to crack upon hearing his tone of voice. 

“I shall leave you two to talk privately,” you said with a smile, “I’ll see you both downstairs.” You walked past them, moving to the dining hall, hoping, pleading that the mask didn’t crack all the way through. Is this what Jeno felt when he saw you with Chan? You wondered how he felt, what he thought. Was he in as much pain as you were right now? You had no right to be angry that his heart belonged to someone else, yours did too. Did, funny how one word makes all the difference. Your heart did belong to Chan; he was your love, your light, your warmth, your heart, back home. But here, here in Northcy, you embraced the cold, the sparkle of snow, the feeling of the wind in your face. Your heart belongs to Jeno now. You didn’t even notice the shift, the change when you finally fell in love with the pretty face Prince, who didn’t have a single thought bouncing around in that head of his.  

-

“I-” missed you too, is what I wanted to say but, “I’m sorry,” was what I actually did say. Jisoo, my first love, my high school sweetheart. She was born, bred to be my wife. That wasn’t a secret to anyone with half a brain. Jisoo’s parents were, are, the most powerful noble family, the only thing they didn’t have was royal status. And she was going to be exactly that, my wife.

“I shall leave you two to talk privately,” the princess smiled. It was fake, I could see right through the charade, “I’ll see you both downstairs.” She walked past the two of us, not sparing me a glance; it hurt, I can’t explain why, but it did. I was about to go after her, reach out to stop her, to wait for me, but something was holding me back, someone keeping me here. I looked down to see Jisoo’s hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me from chasing the princess. 

“Jeno, please look at me, talk to me.” I turned to Jisoo. There were tears in her eyes, my heart broke to see her hurt. “You said you loved me. Was it a lie?”

“It wasn’t a lie,” I didn’t know what to say at this point, I loved Jisoo but I love the princess too. I just shared such a sweet, heartwarming moment with her. Very few people cared about me enough to try doing things that I was passionate about. It was probably mostly because life is so busy, but that didn’t make it feel any less special. Princess (Y/n) didn’t see me as a floating crown; she saw me as a person. Could I say the same about Jisoo? 

“Wasn’t,” she chuckled at the word, “but it is now.” Tears fell down Jisoo’s face, what do I do?

“It isn’t a lie Jisoo, I did, do love you,” I was scrambling for words at this point, anything to make this right. What do I say?

“Just not as much as you love her,” Jisoo’s voice turned venomous at the mention of the princess. Why would she say it like that?

“Jisoo, I am required to marry the princess,” I felt this invisible crown on my head, weighing my body down. It was almost as if my knees could buckle from the pressure. “I love you, Jisoo.” I do, did at least. "But I cannot continue to see you,” my breathing was even, “I love my fiancée, and I am going to make this marriage work.” I want an actual life with the princess, I want to be there for her, care for her, love her. “For me to do that, I cannot see you anymore, I cannot have two relationships.”

“I can never see you again?” Jisoo’s expression matched the same as the night I broke up with her: angry.

“I didn’t say that,” I was losing my confidence, “I just mean that we can not be sneaking around, meeting in private, you coming to my room late in the night. You and I have to stop.” 

“Ha,” she looked away, not meeting me. 

"However, it would be best,” the final marker,  cutting off someone you spent more than half your life knowing, a quarter of your life loving, “it’s best if all our meetings remain business-related.” Our relationship was over. To say it didn’t hurt me too would be a lie.

I left Jisoo standing alone in the hall and made my way to the dining hall. When I got there, some people were sitting, others were standing and talking in small groups. The food hadn’t been brought out yet, so I made my way to the front of the table where father sat. There the princess sat across from Grandma Lee, the two were deep in conversation. 

“I will support Prince Jeno in every decision that he makes, I have no intention of taking his crown from him,” I heard the princess tell Grandma Lee when I got near, “Your Majesty, I agreed to this union because I know that it will be beneficial to my people and my kingdom. No one truly forced me into this, I didn’t argue when my parents presented this to me.” The princess finished her statement. 

“I know my grandson,” I paused a little away from the table, hearing Grandma Lee speak, the two not noticing my presence just yet, “he is a good boy but he doesn’t trust easily, and for anything to work between the two of you, there needs to be trust.” Grandma Lee looked at the princess as if she had already committed treason. 

“I have gotten to know Jeno in these past few months that I have been in Northcy,” the princess paused, taking a sip of water, “and I truly trust Jeno to do what is best for our kingdoms. If you had asked me when I arrived if I trusted him, my answer would not be the same, but after getting to know him, I have no doubt that he will make a fine king.” 

The princess’ confidence in me had blood rushing to my cheeks. Her belief and trust in me fueled my ego. I made my way to the table, taking my seat next to the princess and I looked at her. She’s the girl I’m going to marry, and that thought has never brought me such joy. 

-

Dinner sitting next to the prince was anything but calm; your stomach did flips at every bite you swallowed. The way Jisoo and Jeno looked at each other was something you couldn’t erase from your memory. Jealousy, you were starting to become jealous of the relationship Jisoo and Jeno had, the relationship you wanted with Jeno. Jealousy was a nasty little thing that caused people to do nasty stupid things. And you did something very stupid. 

Now here you were standing in between Jeno and Chan wondering why you thought this was a good idea. You were stupid, you weren’t thinking and you just wanted to be with someone, so you called Chan to join you in your room around 11 pm, but Jeno wanted to go stargazing. You and Chan were just sitting on the couch, and maybe just, maybe, you kissed Chan, when Jeno walked in. So now here you were standing in between a very disappointed Chan and a very angry Jeno.  

“Your Highness, I apologize for the misunderstanding, it seems the princess wasn’t clear,” Chan said bowing to Jeno, you looked at him, utterly shocked he didn’t even attempt to put up a fight. “I’ll be taking my leave now.” 

“Chan?” you called out to him as he made his way to the door, “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes, princess. I am serious because you were mad, so you used me,” Chan was furious. Your heart started to race, tears welling in your eyes, palms sweating. This wasn’t your intention. Chan had never in the past three years ever just called you princess, it was always ‘my princess,’ and the lack of one word hurt more than you could ever imagine.

Chan walked out, slamming the door behind him. Jeno started to chuckle after Chan left. “Really, princess?” He looked at you, disgusted. “Need I remind you, you’re my fiancée?”

“Oh please, Jeno,” you were angry, Jeno had no right to judge you, “don’t make it seem you’re in love with me now.”

“Yeah, well at least I wasn’t sticking my tongue down another girl’s throat,” Jeno was starting to raise his voice. 

“You didn’t need to,” you matched his volume, “you made it evident who you loved without that.” 

“What are you even talking about?” Jeno looked at you, dumbfounded. 

“You and Jisoo, don’t pretend you’re not in love with her, Jeno,” you sighed and decided to take a seat. 

“Are you serious right now?” Jeno was growing angrier, “you make it seem like you’re in love with me when clearly you don’t care about how I feel. All you care about is your little guard.” 

“That is uncalled for,” you practically yelled, pointing at Jeno. 

“I’m right though,” he yelled at you, “you don’t love me, you love Chan, always have and always will.” 

“Don’t kid yourself Jeno, of course I love Chan and you love Jisoo, that’s that,” you spoke in a normal voice, pulling the mask on. 

“I didn’t fool around though,” Jeno said, still wanting to argue. 

“Oh yeah? You didn’t?” You heard, not from Jisoo, or Jeno, but from Fei and Mei, “what about all those nights when Jisoo came to your room?” Jeno looked shocked at your knowledge, “don’t act so surprised, you know these walls have ears and eyes,” the mask was cracking. You wanted to cry. “Don’t pretend we could make anything between us work. This marriage, you,” you gestured to Jeno, “is nothing more than my duty as princess,” you were done fighting, not having the energy for this anymore. You left Jeno sitting in the seating area of your chambers walking to the bathroom. 

After a moment you heard the door open and close. Jeno left. The tears fell, you just laid in bed crying waiting for sleep to take over. 

-

The next day, you were supposed to have breakfast at Jeno’s chambers with him. Instead, you opted to eat in your own chambers. After breakfast, you had a meeting with Queen Jaeyeon and the wedding organizer. The wedding organizer will be in charge on the day of the wedding, allowing you (more like Queen Jaeyeon) to enjoy the day. That meeting took nearly three hours, and by the time it was over, there was only an hour before you had to meet the ladies of the council’s daughters for lunch. You made it back to your chambers, changed your clothes, freshened up your makeup, and went back down to have lunch. The Luncheon was held at one of the many drawing rooms, this room was called the pink room, previously known as the princess room. The walls were painted a blush pink, and the decor was shades of pink with gold accents. By the time you made it to the room, the majority of the girls were there already, just waiting for one or two more. When you looked around the room, at the girls, you noticed only one person was missing, Park Jisoo. Of course, she was late.  

“My apologies for being late, Your Highness,” Jisoo walked in the door, smirking as she says her apologies. You thought ‘this bitch can not be serious.’

“You’re here now,” you smiled, the mask was on, “that’s what matters. Please, ladies. Let us all take our seats.” 

As soon as everyone was seated, maids brought out the food before long, you sat at the head of the table looking out to every girl there. You had never wished for Queen Jaeyeon ever in your stay in Northcy but right now, right here, you wished she was in attendance. 

“Your Highness, are you excited for the wedding?” The question came from one of the girls, Giselle, daughter of Lord Osaki.  

“Excited as anyone would be,” You wished this lunch would be over.

“Where will be the honeymoon, Princess?” Yeri asked, daughter of Lord Kim. Her family was in charge of the ports in the country. 

“The honeymoon will be pushed back until a better time.” You and Jeno were supposed to travel into Modia after the wedding, so it will most likely be pushed back.  

“Are you ready to be queen, princess?” Jisoo asked, her tone was trained. 

You were taken back by the question. “I don’t understand the nature of your question,” you said trying to mask the shock in your voice. 

“Jeno.” She looked up from her plate, shocked, placing her hand over her heart, “excuse me, I meant Prince Jeno.” ‘Fake’ is all you thought. “Prince Jeno said that King Donghae would be stepping down after the wedding,” she looked at you, the look behind her eyes were taunting, “you and the Prince are to be crowned, correct?”

The grip around your fork tightens a bit as you think about how rude it was for Jeno to tell her instead of you. The crown would be on your head- not hers. “Ah, I understand now,” the mask you wore was stronger than you thought. “Prince Jeno did inform me of this, but as it stands, King Donghae hasn’t made it official just yet.” You smiled. This is your future council, and to hell if you were gonna let someone else run it. “If King Donghae decides to go through with this, then both the prince and I will be honored to take on that duty.” You looked around at all the girls, trying to give a reassuring look. 

“Of course, your highness,” she gritted her teeth. It couldn’t be more obvious that she was fake in every corner of her being. That was the last of the questions you got; the girls returned to whispering and talking amongst themselves. No one really talked to you, just giving you looks every other sentence, looking for a nod of approval, one you always gave.  

After lunch, there was supposed to be a council meeting in which you were required to attend. There had been many council meetings since the arrivals of all the noble families, many of which you did attend, but this was the first that actually required your attendance. As you left the pink room, there was a voice calling out for you. 

“Princess (Y/n),” a girl called from behind you. You half-turned to see her, and by that time she was already next to you, “Zhong Chu-Hua, the granddaughter of Lady Zhong.” She bowed to you, showing her respect. 

“Ah, yes, I remember,” you say kindly, unsure as to why this girl needed your attention. 

“I see Jisoo has made herself known to you,” Chu-Hua spoke knowingly. 

“She has.” The two of you made your way to the throne room, where the council meeting was being held. 

“Jisoo and I have known each other since before grade school.” Zhong Chu-Hua was the eldest grandchild of the Zhong family. They owned large amounts of land, were real estate moguls. “Jisoo and the prince were always close, as I am sure you’re aware of.” 

“I am.” The two of you made your way across the main foyer, the doors of the dining hall were opening; the Lord’s lunch had ended. They were making their way to the throne room as well. 

“I don’t mean to be discourteous, princess,” you stopped to look at Chu-Hua, and she stared directly back at you. “Jisoo will do whatever necessary to get the crown, she doesn’t know what it’s like to lose.”  

You smiled at Chu-Hua, then turned and continued to walk towards the throne room, “have not to worry Chu-Hua, I will be quite alright,” you smirked. The two of you came up to the throne room. 

You looked around and saw Jeno talking to Mark and Haechan in what appeared to be a hushed voice. You turned more and saw Chan and Hyunjin in the corner. You made eye contact with Chan, but he only looked away. Your heart hurt, you had no intention of hurting Chan the way you did. You let out a breath.

“Are you alright, princess?” Chu-Hua asked, startling you. You almost forgot that she had been next to you.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I’m fine, thank you.” Not a second later, the doors to the throne room were fully ajar. Thank goodness. You were getting worried for a second there. 

Walking into the throne room, you bid Chu-Hua goodbye as you made your way to the front of the room. You found the prince. No words were exchanged between the two of you.  Jeno placed a hand on the small of your back guiding you to the front of the room, the mask pulled onto your face. To anyone looking at you and Jeno, you guys would seem like a normal, loving couple.  

You sat in your seat, behind the queen’s throne on the right-hand side. Jeno’s seat was behind the king’s throne on the left-hand side. It was symbolism, to show that you and Jeno were the future. People began taking their seats in the room. Mark and Haechan’s seats were at the front of the room facing the rest of the council, but not on the elevated stage that yours and Jeno’s were. It was a row of three seats. The first remained empty. Mark sat and Haechan next to him. Lord Park’s family sat closest to the front on one side, no one in between them and the throne. Jisoo looked at you and smirked. You fiddle with the crown pendant around your neck, reminding yourself that you’re the princess and have the power.

After everyone had taken their seats, the doors behind you and Jeno opened. The king and queen entered. Everyone, including you and Jeno, rose and bowed to them as they took their seats. When King Donghae and Queen Jaeyeon stood in front of their thrones, the king waved everyone to sit. He began to make a speech after, one you tuned out before it even began. In fact, you tuned out the majority of the meeting, wishing to be in your chambers and away from everyone. 

-

I have been in countless council meetings, more often than not they were filled with people kissing up to father in attempts to get grants for whatever venture they want to pursue.  I looked over to the princess. She was obviously not paying much attention. We had put on a show for the council before the meeting started, knowing that the members would be watching.  I want to reach out to her, apologize for my behavior the other night. I didn’t have much of a right to be mad at her or react the way I did. She loved someone else and so did I. I wanted to- needed to apologize to the princess and Chan. I thought of Chan; he was someone caught in the middle, loving someone he wasn’t allowed to love.  

When the council meeting finally ended, we put on another show for the council. Father and mother left behind the door first, with the princess and I close behind. I placed my hand on the small of her back, it looked gentle and kind to anyone else, but she knew it was a show.

“Princess,” I stopped her after the doors closed behind us, “I want to apologize.” 

“You had no right,” she stabbed my chest with her finger, clearly angry, “no right at all to make me feel bad for loving Chan, especially when you’re playing both sides.” 

“Excuse me?” Playing both sides? What was she talking about?

“You, playing the role of my fiancé during the day and then playing Jisoo’s boyfriend in the evenings. Tell me, Prince Jeno, are you the only one allowed to have it all?” 

“What?” All? All of what do I have? 

“Am I the only one that has to give up a love, Prince Jeno? While you get to have both?”

No, I don’t get to have both. I don’t want both, not anymore at least. I just want you, Princess, I only have love left for you. She taught me a lot about what it felt like to actually love someone, not be tricked into loving someone. She genuinely made my heart happy. It was something that no one had done for me before- not even Jisoo. (Y/n) walked away before I could tell her any of these revelations I had made, all because of her. She left me standing there, heart in hand. 

-

The council meeting was finally over. You and Jeno put on another show for the council.  The doors closed behind you, leaving you and Jeno to stand alone. 

“Princess, I want to apologize,” Jeno started. 

As he should, he was the one that overreacted, he loved someone else, why couldn’t you? “You had no right,” you started to poke at his chest, his firm, nicely built chest, “no right at all to make me feel bad for loving Chan, especially when you’re playing both sides.” You were angry but you couldn’t figure out if you were angrier with him or yourself.  

“Excuse me?” Jeno looked clueless. Actually, it was quite adorable, but still. 

“You, playing the role of my fiancé during the day, and then playing Jisoo’s boyfriend in the evenings.” You knew Jeno loved Jisoo, knew from the moment you first saw their picture, but today, your anger peaked much more than you expected it to. Jisoo knew information that you should’ve known, that Jeno should’ve told you. “Tell me, Prince Jeno: are you the only one allowed to have it all?” 

“What?” You hated this, you wanted to be angry with Jeno, angry with him for how he acted, angry that he continued to see Jisoo, angry that you couldn’t have it all, but you couldn’t help but think if the roles were reversed, would you have acted differently than him?

“Am I the only one that has to give up a love, Prince Jeno? While you get to have both?” No matter how much you love Jeno, you couldn’t get over the fact that he blew up on you because you loved someone else just like he did. 

You walked away, leaving Jeno standing there behind you. You wanted Jeno, but you weren’t ready to let go of Chan. Not just yet. After leaving Jeno standing there, you went to find Chan in the palace barracks, hoping that he was there at the moment. 

-

When you entered the barracks, all the guards stood to bow to you.  At times you loved the power trip you felt when this happened, but at other times, like right now, you hated it. You wished you could be invisible and arrive without it being an ordeal. 

“Please, relax, rest,” you stated, waving to them to sit down, “I don’t mean to intrude.” 

“No intrusion at all, Your Highness,” Johnny, the captain of the palace guards, said. “May I ask what brings you down here, princess?”

“I came to see my guards, are they here?”

“Yes, Your Highness. Right this way,” Johnny led you through the barracks, to a small room in the back. The barracks were set up like a cabin, with a main sitting area in the front with a kitchen and then halls that lead to different bedrooms. “Right here, Your Highness.” 

You pushed open the door to a bedroom that was smaller than your bathroom. A bunk bed was up against one wall and two chairs with a small table set to the other side. Hyunjin laid on the bottom bunk, while Chan sat on one of the chairs, leaning up against the wall.  

Hyunjin stood when he noticed you in the doorway. Chan remained seated, the captain had left already.  “Princess,” Hyunjin said, bowing to you. 

“Hyunjin, please,” you grimaced at him bowing.  

“(Y/n),” Hyunjin said apologetically.

“Can you give me and Chan a minute?” 

“Of course,” Hyunjin gave you a sad smile. It was obvious that he knew.  

You entered the room and took the seat across from Chan. He stood up and made his way to the small window, looking out.  

“Chan,” you called to him, hoping he would at least look at you but he didn’t. “It wasn’t my intention to use you.” Chan scoffed, still refusing to turn to you. “But I know you felt like that, so I want to apologize,” Chan looked down, his hands in his pocket. “I love you, Chan.” 

“Stop,” Chan turned around to face you, putting his hand up to stop you. “(Y/n), I love you, you loved me.” He had put emphasis on the ‘ed’ part. You felt the tears well in your eyes. You hated how only Chan could bring you to tears in mere seconds.

“Don’t lie, (Y/n).” Chan’s words were stern, borderline hurtful.  

“I could never lie to you.” You looked down at your lap, trying to prevent the tears from falling. “That night I wanted to feel how I felt back home.” Chan’s gaze softened. “But I just hurt you instead. For that, I’m sorry.” The tears fell freely. Chan sat across from you and placed his hand on yours in your lap.  

“My princess, you know I could never stay mad at you,” Chan smiled, “but I’m not a toy for you to play with.” 

“I know that.” 

“And not for you to make the prince jealous.” 

You looked down back to your lap. “I’m sorry,” was all you could say. Chan pulled you up from your chair, but you refused to meet his gaze. He pulled you in for a hug and you felt more tears fall, crying into his chest for longer than appropriate. Chan put his hand under your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.  

“No more tears, my princess,” he says softly, using his free hand to wipe the tears from your face. 

-

Chan walked you back to your chambers, the silence between you two was comfortable. It felt like before. You were just down the hall from your chambers.

“You need to apologize to the prince,” Chan spoke up. 

“What?” you looked at him, confused. “Why do I need to apologize to him?” 

“You were jealous. You sought comfort from another while being engaged to the prince,” Chan looked at you like you were a child, “Tell me, my princess, if you had walked in on the prince kissing the other girl, would you react differently than him?” 

You hated that Chan knew you better than most, hated that he could read every part of you, hated that he always knew where your heart lays. “I do not wish to apologize to the prince,” you said, looking away from Chan, trying to show your superiority.  

“My princess,” Chan said, grabbing your wrist. You were in front of your chamber’s door. He pulled you to face him. “Apologize to the prince, he did not do anything to deserve your jealous treatment.” Chan looked at you as if you were a child, making you pout, red rushing to your cheeks; you were ready to throw a tantrum about a stupid apology. “Don’t be a brat, and just apologize, my princess,” Chan smirked, knowing exactly what you were gonna do, “you’ll feel a lot better once you do.” He started to walk away, but before completely leaving you, he turned around, walking backward, and said “maybe you’ll get lucky,” with a wink.  

You had half a mind to chase him and scold him for making such an inappropriate comment, but at the same time, you just laughed.  You felt content, ready to let Chan go.  Hopefully, Jeno isn’t too angry with you; you hoped that you didn’t push him too far away.  

-

The evening feast for tonight was canceled, something about emergency meetings, which you gladly accepted. You were left to dine alone in your chambers, you invited Fei and Mei to eat with you, which luckily for you, they accepted. Mei had also slipped in the invitation to Hyunjin and Chan, which you were grateful for. The five of you sat in your chambers eating dinner, just like back home when everyone had meetings and you were left to roam the palace alone. The five of you laughed, talked, borderline cried, you never wanted dinner to end.  “No, but don’t you remember that time, (Y/n) beat Minho?” Hyunjin laughed, “the look on his face.”  You all laughed remembering that race.  

“Please, nothing beats the time (Y/n) flicked off the Prince of Aspos,” Fei recounted, causing Mei to choke on her drink, recalling the night.

“That was the least I could do, considering he said ‘it would be an honor to lick the honey from your toes,’” you mocked the prince of Aspos, everyone nearly died laughing recalling exactly how he sounded.  

“What about when (Y/n) threw her birthday cake, hitting the prince dead center in the face,” Hyunjin said, everyone laughed, but you paused for a minute, the mention of your late brother taking you back for a second.  

“I remember that,” you smiled to yourself, recalling that birthday, “he said ‘you can’t be queen, you’re just a big baby,’” you chuckled. Everyone was quiet now, watching you recall that evening. “I said, ‘I am going to be queen, just you watch’ and he went,” you let out a breath, the tears were there but hadn’t fallen yet. You felt like you were always crying while here, “he went ‘but you’ll be an ugly one’ and so,” you smiled. You missed your brother but you couldn’t mourn him forever, “and so, I chucked the biggest chunk of cake my hand could hold and it really hit his face dead center.” You doubled over to laugh, the rest laugh at the memory. The now-bittersweet memory. “I almost forgot about that night.” A tear was rolling down your cheek, but your smile was still evident, “thank you for reminding me, Hyunjin.”  

“Of course,” Hyunjin offered a soft smile. The rest of the night there were exchanges of stories of all the reckless things you did in Modia. You were reminded no matter how alone you felt, there were people here that cared: Fei, Mei, Hyunjin, and Chan. They cared about you, they knew, loved, adored you, and you were utterly, helplessly, whole-heartedly, and forever grateful to them. 

It was well into the night when you finally bid them a farewell, all but physically shoving them out your door. You were grateful for their company but also in desperate need of a good night’s rest. Finally getting them out the door, you hopped into the shower.  From there you did your nightly routine, changed, and got into bed. It seemed as soon as you set your phone on the nightstand, sleep took over. You had never fallen asleep so fast, and it was so relieving.

--------------

Taglist:@floweronacloud@cookydream@nctstrawberrycow@marklexleaf@jvjsssnaa@thejeongjaehyun@thejungjaehyun@jackyeongljin@terjeno@tyongf-sunflower99@tgnctzen131@gooreumic@jenotation@nctdom@ficklehoe@itsveronicaxxx@actually-vl

#kpop #nct #smtown #nct imagines #nct reactions #nct u #nct dream #nct series #nct scenarios #nct royal au #nct jeno #lee jeno x reader #lee jeno #jeno imagines #jeno reactions #jeno scenarios #Jeno royal au #jeno fluff #jeno angst

[carrdfan]

Cletus Kasady/Carnage x Reader

summary : There was no way out of it. Your death will occur at any time now. The only thing you could do in your final terms is share a moment between you and your killer. Unexpectedly, you never imagined a scenario like this manage to help you rest with ease.

main tags : angst , reader death , female reader

notes / warnings : bloody descriptions , cletus may be really OOC I'm unfamiliar with his way of dialogue; my apologies

The concrete felt like snow, forever cold and unbearable. I tried to desperately hang on to the small string I had left of my life. However, hanging on meant I had to deal with this excruciating pain in my entire body.

I couldn't feel my legs, which were bruised badly. The side of my stomach suffered from a scar that made me bleed out slowly but surely. I couldn't do anything as my hands became covered in my own blood.

I was going to die here, impending death was soon.

My mind told me to stay hopeful, like all those storybooks I read as a child used to tell us as the dying protagonist somehow makes it out in the end and conquers the enemy. Still, even if I tried to drag myself up, the throbbing pain would beat me if the man behind this pain couldn't.

News and broadcast had warned us all about him, he was Carnage after all.

It's just like any other incident shared on the news, you hear about it, but unless it majorly affects you or those around you; you simply ignore it. All the times there were tornadoes, thunderstorms, or anything else that hugely damaged a state. It was never in my state so, while I sent everyone my regard, I didn't think anything big of it.

And that's exactly what I did with Carnage. I acknowledged him along with everyone else, but I never actually believed he would get me.

And that's where I was stupid. So, so stupid.

Now I must repent from my consequences, which has chosen to be this prolonged endure of pain till I breathe my final breath.

Many others appear to be meeting their fate along with me. Bodies were scattered out across the concrete floor, how we all ended up here I couldn't recall. My thoughts were all rushing ahead that I had no chance to turn back, take a look at my final decisions, and pinpoint where I truly went wrong.

All I could think about was the things I'll never be able to see. The bucket list that was there, but I never took notice of because I refused to believe my time to empty it out would be so short.

All I could think of was how my family would react to the loss of me. Did I ever get to live a life that I could easily say, 'I'm satisfied.' In the end? Did I manage to impress those around me even with the many unfulfilled plans I can never carry out and witness?

It was then I managed to snap out of my own consciousness to soon notice a familiar figure in the distance, there was an indescribable eerie disturbance in the thick air. I couldn't say how, but I knew the figure was able to tell that I was still breathing. They were able to tell that I was still fighting for the crumbs of life I had left.

They slowly approached me, all I could do was watch, even with my reflexes telling me to run; it felt like the slightest movement caused nothing but a great amount of pain throughout my whole body. The most I could do was close my eyes, and hope that this was simply an angel. Whether here to slowly lift my pain and let me see another day, or to take me away from this world and neverending suffering, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to get out of what I could only describe as a preview of hell.

But this was no angel. Absurdly, this was the devil himself. I realized this with each nearing step, I couldn't help but shed tears at the man that will allegedly kill me.

I couldn't stop myself from breathing heavier then before as the man creeped towards me. He soon got down to a lower level to get a closer look. He shared bright red curly hair, and looked almost amused to see my decaying corpse. Amused as if I was nothing but a canvas, painted in a way to express his egotistical ways when he commits a crime such as a night like tonight.

I mentally braced myself for what was to happen, right now and after I forever close my eyes. A man such as the one in front of me would probably do whatever he pleased with my rotten corpse. I mean, if he manages to kill so wholeheartedly, who knows where his limits lie.

Suddenly, he moved his hand towards mine. I flinched in reflex but it didn't stop him from cupping his hand on my cheek to slowly smear blood off my face.

"Such a pretty doll. Shame this toy had to go to waste." I couldn't stop myself from continuous shedding tears. I would've appreciated the compliment if it was in another time. If it was from anyone else.

I was practically paralyzed while locking eyes with the man. It took me some willpower to not say anything to him that could encourage the idea of ending me right then and there. Still, doing that just shortens my time even more.

"So this is.. Really it, huh?" I couldn't hold back a cough mid-sentence as blood proceeded to run down the side of my mouth. There wasn't much left of this torment.

"Unfortunately. It saddens me that I sometimes end up breaking the wings of a beautiful dove, such like yourself." I didn't know how to truly respond to his words.

I feel like I should be flattered, flattered that I can appeal to someone even in a horrid sight like this. But then, I remember the situation I was in.

This wasn't simply sweet nothings being spilled on the floor, this was an act of confident arrogance. This man is letting me lay my eyes on his face because he knows that I won't have anyone to run and describe his face to.

"Whether your a killer or a victim, life is never fair." I found myself looking up at the sky while I slowly drown in my puddle of blood. My view was degrading, it was as if the world was turning into nothing but static.

How on Earth did it come to me having nothing but my killer as my last source of comfort? I'll never know, but I'll agree it's better than nothing, supposedly.

It was then that I was so focused on my thoughts that I didn't manage to catch the words slip out of my mouth.

"You can kill me now."

My eyes widened to the words I said, I was careless and said words I didn't fully mean. I hesitated to make any contact with the man, tensing to the silence.

"...I don't think I can inflict any more damage on this doll." Those words managed to ease my soul as I took a sigh of relief. The usual of the man taking up on my offer had slowly washed away. So in the end, I'll simply die of slow blood loss.

I soon laughed as I felt tears roll down my face, I felt the end creaking closer and closer by the passing minutes. I had kept death waiting for long enough.

To end my life off, I took the courage and strength to lightly grab ahold of the man's arm, "... What's your name? I'd like to know the name of my murder."

In response, the man gently grabbed my hand and kept a keen grip on it. It was a tight grip, yet firm enough to soothe me.

"Cletus. Cletus Kasady. Remember it well, pretty love."

My last thoughts pondered over the name. I could at least say I gave in with some closure.

"Kasady... Such a... Pretty name..." I felt my eyes slowly fall as darkness covered my vision. I couldn't stop myself from lifting up a small smile as my hand slipped from Kasady's grasp.

So this is what death feels like.

Who knew it would feel so peaceful.

#carnage #carnage x reader #cletus kasady #kasady x reader #venom #venom imagine #female reader #venom fic #carnage fic #venom x reader #venom movie #marvel fanfic

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S3:E4; Chapter Four, The Sauna Test - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘌𝘭, 𝘔𝘢𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘍𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯, 𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘓𝘺𝘯𝘹.

📝: Thank you guys so much for being patient, I really didn't expect an update till after I had finished moving but your excitement and comments from this preview alone inspired me and I found moments here and there it got me on a roll so thank youu!!

⚠️: anxiety attack, kidnapping and nightmare sequence featuring the following; strangulation, kidnapping, possible claustrophobia triggers(??)/imprisonment [skip markers for all, one for anxiety the second for kidnapping and dream sequence] and finally, not a warning but I feel like I need to make this not so depressing but SO MUCH GAY FLUFF YALL 🌈🌈🌈

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, and a sudden bright light filled the bathroom.

After leaving Heather's house, the three of us had decided to crash at Max's. Neither of us really wanted to be alone after everything happened today, so one quick call to my mom and a note at the cabin and here we are.

I stood before the bathroom mirror with slightly sunken eyes and the tap running on cold as I brushed my teeth mindlessly. The clothes Max had found that would fit me felt snug and warm, just out of the dryer and they smelled like her. It was a welcome change to my drenched clothes now in the wash.

The thunder was mostly muted from inside but not altogether, and I could hear the muffled voices of Max and El from down the hall as I brush my teeth. I try to focus on the gentle pitter-patter of rain on Max's roof and the calm lull it brought to the atmosphere but it was of little help. I could still hear Billy's voice clear as day,

"What a pleasure it is to meet you El. And of course, who could possibly forget..."

《•••》

I watched as Billy slowly wrenched his head towards mine, his hollow gaze falling over me.

•••

I step out onto the porch, slipping the hood back over my head when I feel it again.

•••

She winced as she whipped around to face him, his sunken, darkened eyes widening as they pierced her own.

•••

The sound of my name on his tongue made my skin crawl, his voice all the way in the back of his throat.

《•••》

You

[■■■■■■■■Anxiety Trigger■■■■■■■■]

Another clap of thunder explodes in the distance and I drop my toothbrush, gripping the edge of the counter. Swallowing deep gulps of air, I try to remember the breathing technique Joyce told me about.

Breath in for four.

I draw in a slow deep breaths, letting my eyes flutter closed.

Hold for seven.

As I count the seconds, I follow her instructions and try to focus on my other senses to ground me. I first notice the water running in the sink and the pitter-patter of rain on the roof. The smell of coconut from the hand soap. And even the warm feel of the clothes from the dryer.

Breath out for eight.

I release the built-up air in my lungs in a steady puff but I don't feel my grip on the counter loosen any. The chill is still in my bones, and I can still feel his eyes on me.

Breath in.

The cold, hollowness in his eyes.

Hold.

The blood all over this very bathroom, and El's frightened cries on the floors of the locker room.

I double over the counter, releasing the air tightening my lungs before I can even get to five. I sigh, steadying my breathing and regaining any I had lost as I stare nose-first into the running water disappearing down the drain. I feel hot tears stinging my eyes as the panic builds and I curse under my breath.

I haven't had an attack in so long.

[■■■■■■■■Over■■■■■■■■]

Sighing again, I cup my palms under the water and splash it over my face, fighting a wince when the hot water burns my face.

I wipe away the beads of water dripping over my cheeks and brow, feeling as the air turns it instantly to cool and that's when I frown.

Wait.

Quickly, I swipe the excess water off my eyes and look down at the tap.

It was all the way on cold, as it was when I first turned it on.

I look back at my hands, noting their usual s/c shade. No hint of light or heat in sight. I look back in the mirror, searching my eyes and lips for hints of my usual strain but I find nothing.

My eyes drop back to the running tap, my face written with confusion and head cocked as I watch steam pour out from the stream of running water. I test the metal spout pouring out water and sure enough, the metal is already warming confirming my suspicions.

A sudden familiar voice spoke out from the other side of the closed door, but it wasn't enough to pry my frown away from the running water.

"Y/n?"

It was Max.

"You alright in there?"

My heart was still beating sporadically and my skin was flushing familiarly but I tried to remind myself where I was. That I was safe. And clearly, the Mayfields needed to have their plumbing checked since their heating was flipped.

The thought was enough to expel a sharp breath of relief, and I seemed to snap back to reality. Mostly.

I switched off the water, the cold water tap squeaking as I did so. Quiet returned to the room, and I shook out my hands in the sink and cleared my throat.

"Yeah, I'll be right out," I say, wincing at the waver in my voice.

I picked up the dropped toothbrush and shook out the droplets, finally deciding to tuck it away on the counter where I could deal with it later. Thankfully, it hadn't actually been mine but a spare they had among a pack of unopened toothbrushes.

I look back at my reflection, drying the remaining water off my face with a towel, and sigh.

Clearly, it had been a stressful night and things were starting to get to me. That's all. I don't know what's up with Billy, but something's definitely wrong. I know I'm not wrong either if El can feel it too.

Breath in.

I double-check the counter, checking I have everything. The image pushes itself into my head again, and I wince but I don't stop my breathing exercise.

Hold.

"And of course, who could forget..."

Y/n counted each painful second as she held the air captive in her lungs, trying with everything in her to focus on her breathing over the hollow voice of Billy Hargrove echoing in her mind. As she did so, she turned and made her way for the bathroom door, unknowingly leaving behind the still undrained ice bath that was now beginning to boil.

"You."

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Which one?" Max asks with an adorable grin.

"I don't know," El mumbled weakly with a shrug. She peered up at me as I returned to my spot in between them on the floor. "What do you think?"

I settle myself under Max's comforter and into her rainbow sheets on our makeshift nest on the floor. As I readjusted myself on the pillow, I shrugged half-heartedly, not really trying my best to act totally present.

Max sits up, growing serious, and grabs both our gazes.

"Hey," she says, her voice soft. "there's nothing to worry about anymore, okay?"

The fake smile fell off my face and my eyes fell to my hands. They were wringing together in my lap. El's eyes flickered to me, her face dropping a little as if she recognized my state and spoke up.

"It doesn't make sense,"

"What doesn't make sense?" Max asks.

"What does?" I say under my breath, wringing my hands tighter.

"Heather," El continued. "The blood. The ice."

"Heather had a fever, so she took a cold bath, but she's better now. That has to be it," Max says, sounding almost as if she's trying to convince herself as well. "I don't know where that blood came from, but... we saw her."

She looks between me and El, trying to look as reassuring as possible.

"We all saw her. She's totally fine."

El didn't seem to buy it any more than I did.

"What about Billy?"

"What about him?"

"He seemed... wrong." She says and I nod.

Max gave a weak chuckle. "Wrong is kind of like his default. But it's nice to know he's not a murder, because that would've totally sucked."

I finally break my silence with an involuntary scoff. My next words come tumbling out without me thinking.

"Yeah, especially on top of everything else,"

Max replicates my scoff and I look at her almost desperately.

"Okay, but you get what I'm saying, right? I've met him and he does not act like that Max," my voice lowers a bit from its almost defensive pitch. "I don't think I need to remind you what he did to Lucas, or you, or how he treats me. I may not know him like you, but he's never that polite, even to people he likes, and I know you know it too,"

Max just stares for half a moment, not saying or doing anything but biting her lip. Finally, she sighs at her lap, pensively.

"I get what you're saying," she says, looking between El and me again. "Both of you. He was being totally weird, I'll give you that. I just really think we need to be careful about this." She shrugs. "For all we know, he was probably trying to impress the Holloways."

She makes suggestive eyes with a disgusted, uncomfortable laugh as she elbowed me. "Maybe he really wants to get closer to Heather,"

I laugh, making a face.

"Oh, barf,"

A small smile finds its way onto El's lips and she reluctantly joins into our laughter with a frown. "What?"

"You don't want to know," I chuckle, burying myself further under the sheets.

El seemed satisfied enough with my answer and followed my lead. She shivered a little on my right, as Max got settled back in on my left. I looked over at El when I felt her shifting around. She was snuggling closer, and her arms wrapped around my left like a koala bear, her eyes threatening to close. I watched her with a small flutter in my stomach as she nuzzled her head into my shoulder and gave a content sigh. "Warm," I heard her mumble.

I didn't dare move, other than grinning down at her and tucking my head on hers as we both looked over at Max and the pile of comics she had.

Not letting go of my arm, El sat her head up a little and pointed to the only cover with Wonder Woman on it with a curious look in her eye.

"Who... is that?"

Max and I both perk up as she grabs the comic.

"See, this is why you can't just hang out with Mike all the time." She explains. "This is Wonder Woman. A.K.A. Princess Diana,"

The three of us simultaneously lean back against our propped-up pillows on the wall, snuggling into one another. I take hold of the comic for Max, turning to page one as Max and I begin pointing out different pictures on the page.

"She's from Paradise Island, which is, like, this hidden island there are only women Amazon warriors."

El smiles and I point to her lasso of truth.

"Yeah, and she's devoted to bringing good to the world, like most superheroes. She even has this lasso - which is kind of a long rope tied in a circle - that helps her fight crime, and it can even make people tell the truth..."

"It's super cool," Max jumps in.

That flutter grows as I watch El point out different things on the page with a smile that only grew the more she learned. Or the more Max would light up with another Wonder Woman fact. And minute by minute, as the night crept on just like this, the more I forgot about the horrifying questions of today and more on my best friends beside me.

I was safe.

For now.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■]

When Tom Holloway awoke, he immediately knew something was wrong.

His hands were bound behind his back, some sort of cloth was wrapped around his head and stuffed in his mouth as a gag and he felt nauseous. Never mind the fact his head was throbbing and bleeding, and he was somewhere dark, cold, and unknown.

That's when he remembered.

Heather.

The girls in his living room had just left, his wife Janet was acting strange and... she was drugged. And it had been his Heather. His little baby Heather and that boy.

He had to get out, he had to find them. He had to get to his family.

He fights with a grunt against the restraints around his wrists. He winces as the rope stings his burns his skin and as he squirms he gets a better feel for what he's tied to. It's some sort of pipe.

And yet he's so focused on his escape and finding his family, he doesn't realize his wife is by his side.

Her muffled, horrified shrieks as she comes to.

"Tom!"

He lets out a sob when he sees her, in his voice a jumbled mixture of relief and sorrow. She looked no better than he felt, and steady tears streaked down her cheeks with mascara.

A pair of footsteps grab their attention to two figures approaching from the shadows. The very same people to have brought them here.

Heather and Billy.

Tom lets out another involuntary whimper as his daughter approaches him, a blank faraway look in her eyes.

"Hi, Daddy,"

He watches tearfully as she kneels down to his height, and removes the bounds from his mouth.

"Heather..." he gasps, swallowing fearful tears and the lump in his throat. He throws one cautious glare over her shoulder at the young man before softening again at his daughter. "Sweetie... whatever this is, whatever he's got you into, you don't have to do this. You can stop this."

"There is no stopping it, Daddy," she says in an unusually cold voice. "You'll see."

With the ghost of a smile, she cups his tear-stained cheek and he cries again.

"No," he silently begs.

But she's already on her feet, returning to Billy's side as he approaches Janet as Heather had Tom.

Her whimpers grow more frantic as he reaches for her, and before she knows it she's wriggling free from the cloth gag he removes from her mouth. She wastes no time in crying out to her baby girl.

"Heather, please! Heather!"

The words died out into a fearful whisper when Billy's finger pushes against her lips, silencing her. She feels her whole body tremoring as he leans in close, his voice that same gravely tone he let slip earlier that night.

"Try not to move."

They fear the worst only to watch confused as he rises to his feet and retreats up the steps with their daughter.

"No," Janet mumbles tearfully after them. "No!"

"Heather!" Tom cries, fighting hard against the restraints no matter how hard they hurt. "Heather!"

Something in the dark abyss of shadows stole their attention. Something Tom almost misses at first It was a most unusual sound. Something low and otherworldly... almost like a growl reverberating off of tin.

They watched with widened, bloodshot eyes as they try to make out the great beast emerging from the shadows.

"Jesus Christ,"

It's all Tom can bring himself to say, his voice in a trembling whisper.

What marched out from the shadows on its six, wobbling legs was something else entirely. A monster, he was not sure he was seeing. A demon he was not ready to face. A horror, he could not possibly fathom.

The Mind Flayer.

He had evolved past his shadowy form, yet he always lurked in darkness. He was darkness. His features remained spider-like, six long legs as tall as the ceiling it was now scraping, branching out into smaller tendrils like one grotesque, haunched tree.

But the worst part of all - the sickening detail that revealed itself as it grew closer.

The Mind Flayer was made entirely out of flesh and bone.

Tom's cries for help were stolen right out of his mouth when he felt the first touch of the monster.

Tom couldn't register much through all the fear. He felt the cold, slimy grasp swallow up his face just as surely as beard his wife's horrified shrieks. He tried to scream, tried to breathe but any and every effort in doing so brought with it more icy sludge entering his system from the source. It was like swallowing sand as he drowned, gasping in large gulps of seawater that slowly filled his lungs.

Only worse. Tom was alive to feel it. To live through it, to breath through it.

All Tom Holloway could do was peer up at the snarling monster from his one uncovered eye as he feels the icy darkness envelop him completely.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"What on earth are you doing here?" He asks. "Is something wrong?"

"We just... wanted to make sure everything was okay," Max stammered, just as confused as her friends.

A look of concern flashed over Billy's face as he inched closer. "Okay? Why wouldn't it be okay?"

"You know damn well why," I grumble, my gut lurching at my sudden bravery but Billy doesn't seem to notice.

In fact, no one did. I look at Max and El, but they haven't even flinched, neither have the man or the woman sitting in the dining room.

I looked to my left at El expectantly, as if I know she's going to speak. As if I've lived this moment before.

I'm relieved to see she doesn't seem to buy into Billy's act either.

"Where is she?" El all but growls.

I shifted on my feet, barely noticing the familiar tug of those words in the back of my head. But what would Billy say?

His eyes snap to El, and she could have sworn she almost saw that mask break.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly. "Where is who?"

"Well, they're a little burnt, I'm sorry,"

All eyes turn to the chipper young girl striding in with a tray of cookies in her hands and a lingering smile on her face.

"Heather," I gasp, feeling a wave of relief and fear all at once.

The only troubling thing about her was the crisp cinnamon cookies in her hands. She had trailed off upon noticing the three young visitors.

"Heather!" Billy smiles, welcoming her as if she was an old friend.

I just felt like I'm seeing a ghost.

"This is my sister, Maxine," Billy chirps, turning back to the three confused girls. "And I'm sorry," he says to El, with an almost edge to his voice. "I did not quite catch your name."

I inch closer to her, my shoulder wedging over hers in a protective stance but that felt useless.

With a determined look in her eyes, she matches his steely gaze.

"El."

I grimace as Billy forces a smile. It was chilling. Truly haunting. But he was still angry, I could tell.

In fact, he was livid. Why was he so livid? What had El done?

"El." He hums. "What a pleasure it is to meet you El. And of course, who could possibly forget..."

His eyes lurched to mine and I felt my stomach drop, maybe as fast as the temperature in the whole house. Like I was plunged into ice.

I wanted to move, I tried to run but I couldn't. My legs were rooted to the spot like they were when it really happened.

And then...

His voice was a growl that grew in the back of his throat, his lips curling back in a snarl as he bared his teeth.

"You."

His hand was around my throat and my feet left the ground. I tried crying for help but my voice was gone, leaving me no choice but to claw at Billy's arms as I fought for breath. My legs were finally moving again, kicking and squirming as I tried to reach him or even the ground but they never did, no matter how close.

I had to fight to look at El and Max but they were gone, as were the Holloways. Fading away like smoke.

"Let me go!" I somehow cry. "Let me go, now!"

He blinks at me, his face a clean slate. Nothing in his features, he's almost like a projection.

My feet return to the floor and tears flood my cheeks. But I'm not free, not any more than he had listened.

He started off down the hall, where we first came from, my throat still in his grip. I was dragging along the floor, my feet kicking and shoes grabbing the wood linoleum for traction but the hall just kept getting longer.

I was crying heavily, pleading with him to let me go. I tried and tried with all my might to hurt him, but no matter what I threw at him he just kept dragging me down the hall.

He took a left and I watched behind us, still fighting as the walls gradually changed from olive-green to grey.

I sent another long, hot burst of air up at him but he didn't flinch.

The grey paint turned to white.

I clawed and scraped and melted his skin, or at least I tried to but his grip never loosened.

The white painted walls turned to a white brick.

I got more frantic, kicking and even harder and screaming at the top of my lungs, embracing the hurt. The walls shook and cracked but Billy kept walking, dragging me along.

The white brick turned to white tile as we made another turn.

"No! No! NO!"

Billy looked down at me for the first time since he grabbed me. There was a haunted, almost painted-on smile on his face as he peered down. The large fluorescent lights above our heads tinged a sickly green, hurting my eyes almost as bad as the pad of my feet trying to grip the linoleum floors.

"But you belong here."

"NO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

I continue to wail and kick and scream, even as we come to a slow. He yanks me to my feet, and I hear a dreadful click of a lock that makes me shudder.

"No," I sob. "I can't. I don't... I don't want to be here,"

Billy looks deep into my eyes, feeling like a whole other person entirely. A third person, more specifically.

Not only that, he sounds horrifically familiar.

He pushes something over my shoulder and I hear the creak of a door. And before I can protest, my body is thrown into an all brick white room as the voice continues I believe to be Billy but I realize is an all too familiar doctor.

"You don't mean that, my dearest Nine," I hear his withering voice echoing all around me as I catch my breath on all fours where I had fallen. "I know you don't want to upset your Papa,"

Tears fall from my cheeks, my rage and fear building as I prepare to throw everything I have at him. No matter what it costs.

With heaving breaths I push myself off the cold tile floors and turn to the door I was just thrown through. But all I'm met with is the same white walls. There's no door, no way out. And no one else around.

I'm all alone.

It's then I remember, I've been here before. I'm brought here often. Somewhere in the back of my head I finally register this is a nightmare but I'm too deep inside to pull myself out. Instead, in a plight of anger, I throw my fists in the wall repeatedly as I cry out in anguish until I have no breath left.

My eyes snap to my arm when I feel an excruciating pain concentrated onto my left inner wrist. I choke on another sob as I stare at the three black numbers tattooed into my skin.

𝟶𝟶𝟿

Growing more frantic, I pace the walls as my tears return, running my hands along the wall for any sort of false door or hatch until my nerve ending in my hands are shot and numb.

I collapse into the corner, hugging my chest and the white, spotted lab gown over my body.

Everything's building in me, heat sizzling off my shoulders and melting the wall and for a moment I think I found my way out. I can melt the walls, break them down but I try and try and-

[■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■]

||𝟑𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

"Y/N!"

The girl shot awake, kicking off the sheets that clung to her sweating skin, and gulped down desperate breaths of air. Max and El jumped when she did, but it Y/n moments to realize they were sitting opposite her. Farther away.

Realizing what had happened, she doubled over and threw her face in her hands with an exasperated sigh.

"Shit..." she mumbles, rubbing at the sleepiness in her eyes. "Guys, I'm sorry. I should have warned you. I've been having really bad nightmares lately and... guys?"

Y/n had to really look to see them, more specifically the looks on their faces. Hardly any light was streaming in through the windows, the sky a light and bright cobalt. But it was enough to barely accentuate the worried frown on El's face and the painful wince Max wore as she clutched her forearm and the thin layer of sweat coating their skin.

"What-? What happened?" She croaked, looking to Max. "Are you okay?"

Max shot you a quick, forced smile as she still clutched her arm.

"I'm fine, but... are you?"

Her stomach dropped and turned all at once, her mouth falling into a gasp as she brought her hands in towards herself and away from her friends.

"Did I... did I do that to you?"

She shook her head quickly, trying to examine her arm in the dark and that's when Y/n barely makes it out: a spot on her paled skin was almost the size of a coaster; dark and festering.

"Oh, my god, I didn't mean- I am so sorry, I-" Y/n's mouth remained open but the words kept getting stuck in her throat.

Finally, she jumped to her feet and kicked off the sheets still sticking to her legs, and made her way to the door.

"Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god,"

El and Max watched as she began speedwalking out into the hall and heading for the linen closet, her voice trailing off with her in a familiar Henderson fashion. They knew they would be unable to stop her, especially in this condition.

Instead, they looked to one another, silently sharing their worry at what had just transpired.

El had stirred from the sudden and intense heat that took over Max's room, her plastic water bottle now nearly half empty and filled with condensation. And Max had awoken not from the heat but the sudden, subtle tremors shaking the house and the small glow that was peaking through her eyelids.

When she had cracked her eyes open, she had seen Y/n on the neighboring pillow, a pained look on her tinted face. Hints of her veins were cropping up on the edge of her lips and she had then felt the light kicks of her friend. She had pulled herself up, rubbing at her eyes and that's when she noticed how much she had been sweating.

The room was still in a steady rumble and El was already awake.

"What's going on?" El had whispered from across their friend.

"I don't know, I think..." Max peered down at Y/n with a pitiful look. "I think she's having a nightmare. I think she's mentioned those lately."

"What do we do?"

Max shrugged, jumping slightly when the rumble had grown loud enough for concern.

"Well, we gotta wake her," Max had said, anxiously.

Y/n's kicking had returned and soft whimpers were escaping her lips and Max felt something tug on her heart.

She reached forward, only for a hand to grab around her forearm.

Max looked down at El's hand then at El with a confused frown.

"What?"

El shoots an unsure look between her and Y/n, her face written with unease.

"Try another way," she whispers.

"I'm not sure what else to do," Max says with a shrug. "Do you?"

El frowned again, finally shaking her head in defeat. Whimpering cries grew louder and they looked to Y/n who was freely crying. And looking less than compliant, and against her better judgment, El let's go.

Max wasn't naive. She knew the likely dangers of waking her friend but she didn't want her to suffer. So instead, she bunched up the blankets over her hand and began to softly shake her.

"Y/n..."

No response. She just continued to cry, and Max had continued to shake the more she grew worried. Before she knew it, Y/n had thrown herself on her back, her hands grabbing for Max's.

Y/n kept tossing, speaking in a clear voice. "Let me go."

Max felt the intense flare of heat in her arm and she yanked it back, scrambling backward as she hissed an impressive string of curses. El had jumped, looking desperately to Max as they both felt the air grow increasingly hotter.

She watched wide-eyed as she clutched her arm, and it hadn't been until El intervened they finally got her awake.

El returned her eyes to the lesion on Max's arm and her face grows soft.

"Really okay?"

Max nodded. "Yeah. I'll be fine."

On cue, Y/n had returned from the hall with a wet washcloth, aloe vera, and a thin bandage.

"Again, Max, I am so so sorry,"

"It's fine, really. I know you didn't do it on purpose," she winced again when it stings. "Can't say it feels great, though,"

"Here,"

Y/n flipped on the light on Max's bedside and returned to her friends' side with the supplies.

"I hadn't realized how bad it's been getting lately," Y/n explains as she begins tending to Max. "My dreams I mean, and all this,"

She looks between El and Max with a weak wince before giving Max a warning look. The redhead nods and Y/n places the washcloth onto the wound and Max hisses. It was barely colder than room temperature but that helped.

"Sorry, sorry, I know," Y/n says. Thinking twice, she hands it off to Max with a guilty smile. "Probably better you hold onto that,"

Max nodded and took the washcloth in hand as Y/n prepared the aloe vera.

"What happened?" El asked suddenly.

Y/n looked curiously at El before she realized she was asking about her dream. Her stomach dropped again, and she fought the urge to touch her throat.

"Just some freaky, memories and... well, not memories I guess. It's hard to explain."

"You can tell us," El said, touching her arm as she remembered the words Y/n had spoken to her so long ago that she had always cherished. "If you need anything... at all... we're here."

A grateful smile broke out on her face as she looked at her best friends. "Thank you."

Returning to the twist cap, she pours out a quarter-size drop of the green sludge and Max peels back the washcloth, reluctantly.

"Don't worry, I'm all cooled down," Y/n laughed. Max nodded and handed out her arm and Y/n got to work as she talked. "It really is hard to explain," she sighs. "It was last night, with Billy... but it wasn't. He was after me, and he... he hurt me. And the next thing I knew I was being dragged back."

"Back where?" The two girls both ask.

Y/n pours another drop on her fingers and continues to spread rub gentle circles into Max's skin as she looks between her friends. She bites her lip, almost afraid to bring it up in front of El.

"...at the lab." El subtly stiffens. "Which I know is impossible cause I've never been there. But it felt so real. To be honest, I've been having dreams like these - of there - a lot lately."

"That's awful,"

"I'm sorry,"

Y/n shrugs, grabbing for the ace bandage and thin square of gauze. She delicately places it over the wound and she grimaces when she gets a better long-term what she had done. It was dark red and puffy, and Y/n hoped her makeshift treatment would work.

"Not really much I can do," she says, Max holding one end of the strip as Y/n began to wrap. "I just try to remind myself I made it out."

Securing the bandage, she instinctually places a hand over the cloth, securing her work, and smiles. She turns to El, a new seriousness in her eyes and Y/n takes El's hand in her own, giving it a quick squeeze.

"We both did,"

El's smile returns and she feels a warmth spread through her and into her chest. A comforting one, much unlike the heat still lingering in the room.

At the thought, El looks at Max curiously.

"Do your windows open?"

"Yeah," she frowns. "Why?"

El flicks her head and a soft click goes off behind them, followed by the suction of air leaving the room suddenly. Y/n and Max yank their gaze to the window to see it peeled open, letting in a cool breeze through the half-shut blinds.

She swipes at her nose, and the room falls silent as the three meet eyes and a grin breaks out on all three as they begin to laugh.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

First Nations: "Invest in Native Communities"

A Aide Variety of Links and Info on Multiple Native Owned Businesses to Support

Navajo Water Project

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 12*

Chapter 11

(i fucked this up by editing on my phone and now I have to post the next chapter link like this. )

Whoooo buddy! The angst is REAL, y'all.

I apologize for this, but also I really don't. And I made it normal length to make up for that short shitty one earlier.

Enjoy!!!! Mwahahahahha

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@mrsrafaelbarba

---------

It seemed like forever for the ambulance to get there, Rafael just sat there trembling and crying while you started to convulse in his arms. Finally the door busted open and EMT’s threw you on a gurney and took you downstairs. Rafael sprinted behind them and jumped in the back of the ambulance as it sped away.

“Y/N….Carino please, please don’t die on me…” Rafael stroked your hair as you were hooked up to oxygen and anti drug meds. It was like literal hell having to watch this all over again, even worse that it was someone he actually...loved.

“Please, please don’t die…” He looked up to the sky.

----------------

Rafael paced the hospital waiting area furiously, they wouldn’t let him go back with you once the ambulance got you both there. When he saw Sonny running up the hallway towards him, he grabbed him by the neck and shoved him up against the wall.

“I TOLD YOU!!!!” He screamed violently, while several nurses ran over and pulled them apart.

“Rafael! Jesus Christ--” Sonny was breathing heavily while he tried to recover from Rafael’s ambush.

“I told you something was wrong, I told you I knew her better than you did!” He tried to wrestle away from the nurses.

“Okay I’m sorry, I’m sorry alright?!” Sonny yelled, tears starting to fill his eyes. “I should have listened to you--”

“You’re god damn right you should have!!!” Rafael continued to scream.“ She could die right now, do you realize that?”

“Of course I realize that!” Sonny screamed back while looking around them, trying not to make a scene.

“God dammit Carisi, she knew better than you. Why didn't you listen to her?!” Rafael was beginning to cry; he was so upset.

“Barba I--” Sonny started to apologize.

“Excuse me, is Miss Y/L/N’s family here?” An orderly came out from the back.

“I am!” Sonny forgot about Rafael and ran over to the man, Rafael did the same.

“I’m sorry sir but this is really just a family conversation--” He started to dismiss Rafael, but Sonny put his hand up.

“He’s fine,” He assured the doctor.

“Right, well--” He cleared his throat as he led them to a more quiet area. “The damage to Y/N’s body is pretty bad,”

“....God,” Sonny muttered, putting a hand over his forehead.

“The mouthwash has several chemicals that aren’t in traditional grain alcohols, mostly lethal. And her pancreas, liver and gallbladder were already severely damaged from the years of alcohol abuse,” He explained as he looked gravely between the two men.

“No…” Rafael put his hands over his face.

Flashbacks of a very similar conversation happening between a doctor and his mother filled his mind. The way his mother fell against the wall when she heard the doctor say there was a good chance his father was never waking up.

“How bad is it, doc?” Sonny’s voice quivered, and Rafael instinctively took his hand.

“Well, we had to completely remove the gallbladder, and parts of her pancreas so she’s most likely going to develop diabetes,” He further explained. “...And she most likely will need a liver transplant, depending on how the next 24 hours go,”

“Christ…” Sonny whipped his hand from Rafael’s touch and put both of his hands over his head while he paced.

“Can we see her?” Rafael asked.

“Yes, you know your daughter is very lucky to be alive,” The doctor informed them.

“...Excuse me?” Sonny asked while he and Rafael exchanged confused looks.

“...Are you two not her dads?” The doctor waved his pen between the two men.

“Oh my god,” Rafael muttered in horror, wanting to vomit right there.

“Uh, no sir-- no we’re not,” Sonny shook his head. “I’m her uncle and this is my partner,”

“Excuse me?!” Rafael practically screamed in disgust.

“...Do you want them to let you back there to see her or not, honey?” Sonny said through his teeth.

“Right,” Rafael nodded uncomfortably, taking Sonny’s hand once more. “We’re her...Uncles,” He tried not to grimace.

“Oh, right. So sorry sirs,” The doctor apologized once more as he led your “Uncles” to the room you were in. You were unconscious, but breathing on your own.

“She might be out a while from the meds, if you’d like to come back tomorrow,” The doctor informed them once more.

“Uh, I think we’ll wait at least for a little while, if you don’t mind doc,” Sonny replied while Rafael walked up to your sleeping body and just stroked your hair lovingly.

“Whatever you two want to do is fine with me,” He nodded. “I have other patients to see, if you’ll excuse me,”

Sonny nodded to him and he walked out of the room leaving the three of you alone. Sonny ran his hands through his hair while Rafael pulled a chair up next to your bed, still stroking your hair.

“...Barba I think you should leave,” Sonny said softly.

“...What?” He laughed. “Are you...are you fucking joking me, Carisi?”

“No look,” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, I’m sorry I didn’t hear her. And I’m sorry that I just...gave up, protecting her,”

“Yeah well--”

“But I hear you now, and-- and she’s going to need to go away,” He looked at your sleeping body sadly.

“She’s in no shape to go anywhere, Carisi,” Rafael clutched your hand as if he was protecting you.

“Not now, no,” Sonny agreed. “But when she’s better--”

“We don’t know if she’s going to get better!” Rafael suddenly stood up and walked towards him; Sonny backed up as he approached, afraid Rafael was going to grab him again.

“Even more reason you shouldn’t be here!” Sonny argued.

“What?”

“Barba look,” He cautiously put a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. “I...I get that you two have some kind of-- I don’t know, connection,” He glanced at you.

“But it doesn’t change the fact that you barely know her, and she barely knows you. You have a job and a life waiting for you tomorrow, you can’t be sitting here sitting vigil for some girl you slept with once,”

“How dare you fucking say that to me, Carisi,” Rafael’s eyes narrowed as he snapped his shoulder from Sonny’s grasp.

“How fucking dare you. First you don’t want me anywhere near her, then you tell her she’s nothing to me, then suddenly you think that I’m in love with her, and-- and now that I’m finally...attached to her-- you want me to just leave her alone again?”

“No, I never wanted you near her because of this exact situation!” Sonny hissed, trying not to wake you. “I told you straight up that she was complicated, and that you weren’t about that life,”

“I am about that life-- I’m serious, about her,” Rafael corrected himself, rolling his eyes at the terms Sonny used.

“Well I don’t think you should be,” Sonny crossed his arms.

“This is the jealousy thing again, isn’t it?” Rafael licked his lips angrily. “You and your stupid ego can’t stand the fact that we--”

“That is NOT it Rafael and you fucking know it,” Sonny narrowed his eyes.

“Then what is it?” Rafael crossed his arms. “It’s clearly not because it’s too much for me, because I’m flat out telling you it’s not,”

“Rafael--” Sonny placed his hands over his face. “I have spent my life protecting this girl, okay? And I may have dropped the ball here, but that just means that I will sure as hell not do it again. And that means that I have to have her best interest at heart,”

“What does that even mean?” Rafael looked at him quizzically.

“Her whole world is different now, Barba!” Sonny gestured to you. “You heard the doc. She has no gallbladder, whatever the fuck that means, she will probably get diabetes, god knows what will happen even if she needs a liver transplant, but my guess is it ain’t good!”

“...Well she won’t be able to drink alcohol,” Rafael said softly.

“Which will make her sobriety that much more urgent and permanent, Barba,” Sonny stepped towards your bed.

“She’s gonna have a long hard road ahead of herself no matter which way this goes right now, and keeping her on track is the only way she is gonna get through it. You think she’s gonna be able to focus on anything but you if you stay here?”

“I can help her--” Rafael insisted, glancing down at your innocent sleeping face. It broke his heart you were hurting, now all he wanted to do was take care of you and make sure you never hurt again.

“You don’t have the time or the freedom to do that, Rafael,” Sonny said sternly. “And you know it,” Sonny’s statement brought him back to reality.

“And you do?” He looked back up at Sonny.

“I’m a detective, Barba. It’s not like I do that much,” Sonny shrugged. “And I have enough PTO for a bit to take care of her. And she’s my responsibility! She’s MY family, Liv will understand that. What she won’t understand is you sitting Shiva at some young girl’s bedside who you barely know,”

“....And what are you going to do when she gets better?” Rafael ran a finger down your bare arm, wishing you would wake up and stop this nonsense your cousin was spewing.

“I’ll ask around,” Sonny now sat next to your bed. “I’ll find her a good place, somewhere she can be taken care of the right way, not some creepy mental hospital,”

“...Alright fine,” He sighed, looking at his watch. It was getting late, and he had an early court date.

“I’m coming back--”

“No, you’re not,” Sonny shook his head. “Look I promise you if she gets worse and needs your emergency liver or kidney or somethin’, I’ll let you know. Other than that, just-- leave her be,”

Rafael flashed back to the last time Sonny had used those words, and how as soon as he agreed, you heard him and it destroyed you. He couldn’t do that again, what if you could still hear him?

“No, I’m coming back--”

“Barba if you come back here I’m gonna tell the nurses that we broke up and you are no family member of hers,”

“You,” He shook his head. “You wouldn’t do that--”

“If it keeps you away from her, I’ll do anything right now Barba, I’m sorry,” Sonny gave him a sympathetic look.

“...She’ll never forgive you for this, Carisi,” He warned Sonny. “When she finds out you kept us apart she will never forgive you,”

“What are you Romeo and Juliet all of a sudden, counselor?” Sonny scoffed. “Give me a friggin break. I’m sure she’ll get over it, when she’s clean and sober and thinking straight,”

“I’ll never forgive you for this,” he growled with a death glare.

“...Yeah, well--” Sonny stood up and started escorting Rafael out the door. “I guess that’s something I’ll just have to live with,”

Rafael glared at him once more before turning on his heels and stomping down the hall, just as you stirred from your med nap.

“Sunshine?” Sonny quickly ran to your bedside.

“Rafa..?” You sleepily asked, you swore you heard his voice just moments ago.

“It’s Sonny,” He nervously looked back at the door, making sure Rafael hadn’t heard you wake up and came running in again.

“Oh,” You blinked several times, trying to get your vision back. When the blur in your pupils resolved, you saw Sonny’s smiling face beaming at you.

“Hey there,” He kissed your forehead. “You scared the shit outta me there, Sunshine,”

“...I’m so sorry, Sonny,” You began to cry in remorse.

“Hey hey hey,” Sonny took you in his arms and shushed you while he rocked you. “Shh shh shh, you’re alright. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you when you were asking for help, I just--I just let you go,”

“...But Rafael didn’t,” You sniffled as you looked around the room for him. “Where is he?”

“He uh--” Sonny stammered. “He left, Sunshine. Early court meeting tomorrow, y’know. Lawyer stuff,”

“Right,” You nodded.

“...He said he wouldn’t be coming back,” Sonny added with a sympathetic look.

“What?” You blinked in disbelief. Had he really just taken off? Without even saying goodbye?

“Well it’s just,” Sonny took your hands. “Honey you’re-- you’re gonna have a lot to go through these next few weeks, maybe months. And Rafael--”

“He doesn’t have time for that,” You finished for him, accepting the truth.

“Yeah,” Sonny nodded slowly.

“Right,” You picked at your blanket as you stared down at it morosely. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything more than him dropping me here. He tried telling me that he was--”

“He was what?” Sonny quirked an eyebrow. You thought about telling him that Rafael had said he was in love with you, but you weren’t entirely sure that happened anymore, given how out of it you were at the apartment.

“...He was ready for a relationship,” You lied. “But I guess he wasn’t ready for a dumpster fire of a girlfriend,”

“You’re not a dumpster fire, Sunshine,” Sonny assured you.

“...Yeah clearly this doesn’t scream ‘damaged goods’,” You gestured to all the wires you were hooked up to.

“You’re not--” Sonny sighed and shook his head as he wrapped his arms back around you. “You’ll find someone,”

“...Not someone like him,” You whispered sadly, tears dripping down onto your IV tube.

“Well hey,” Sonny coughed as he tried to change the subject. “I better get goin’ make sure you get some good sleep,”

“...But I was just--” You tried to say you had been sleeping this whole time.

“I’ll come check on you tomorrow, kay?” Sonny kissed your head and started heading towards the door. He hated to do this, but he had to keep you safe. He turned around and gave you a sad smile.

“Hey, Sunshine?”

“Yeah, Son?”

“I uh, I don’t wanna rub it in or nothin’, I just--” Sonny cleared his throat. “Barba wanted me to tell you not to contact him anymore,”

“...Oh,” You looked over at your phone, which was charging on the table next to your bed.

“He just thought it would be easier, y’know? Clean break and all,” Sonny lied with a sad smile.

“Yeah, sure no of course,” You nodded, trying to keep it together.

“Alright well, I’ll see ya,” He nodded one more time before shutting the door, leaving you alone.

You immediately grabbed your phone and began typing a message to Rafael, telling him how you were sorry and that you never should have tried to kick him out, and that he saved your life and that you knew you were a huge mess, but that you would clean yourself and do everything in your power to be good enough for him if he just let you--and you just stared at it.

You re-read it a thousand times, tears streaming down your cheeks. You couldn’t send this, it was pathetic. He already made his choice, he tried to tell you he loved you and you had blown him off by almost dying in his arms. And he ran. You couldn’t blame him either, you’d run away faster than a Kenyan track star if you were him.

After going through all that bullshit with his dad, he’d never want to relive that with you, some girl he barely knew. There was no way. And begging him to come back to you after all the shit you said to him at your apartment was just pitiful.

You deleted the message and then started to delete his contact info, but you knew you needed to be drastic. If it was a clean break he wanted, you’d have to give it to him. You’d already put him through way too much stress and punishment than he deserved, you had to be stopped. You highlighted his number and hit “BLOCK NUMBER”, before deleting it from your phone.

There. Now there was no way you could find him, or vice versa. Clean break. You put the phone down next to you and laid down, realizing what you had just done. You had just deleted the potential love of your life from your existence, forever. You cried yourself to sleep, only dreaming of Rafael.

=============

Rafael laid down in his bed after getting home and showering the bad day off of him. He opened the text thread of your messages, and saw the ellipsis light up, signaling that you were typing. It was there for a long time, he became more and more anxious as they just flashed in the darkness, taunting him. He was so happy you were okay, he had to tell you what Sonny said but that he would never be able to keep him from you. He waited and waited, and then the dots were gone. He waited a moment for you to send it, but soon got impatient and just texted you

“Y/N I’m so glad you’re okay, you had me so worried. I miss you,”

He hit SEND, but was met with the most horrifying response:

“The number you have texted has blocked you from contacting them.”

“No…” He muttered alone in the dark. “No, this can’t be happening,”

Did Sonny have your phone? Did he do this? Did he tell you something to make you do this? Did you do this on your own when you realized he had left. Sonny had to have told you something bad, something diabolical. He had no way of contacting you now, and he would never get into the hospital to see you.

What was going on?

-------------

The next morning after his court session, Rafael headed over to the precinct to talk to Sonny. He practically sprinted through the door into the bullpen, to find it empty.

“...Where’s the SVU squad?” Rafael asked a cop at the front desk.

“Do I look like a concierge, Barba?” The cop rolled his eyes. “Does my badge say ‘doorman’? I don’t keep tabs on you people!”

“Thanks Louie,” Rafael rolled his eyes as he walked out of the station, dialing Sonny’s number on his phone.

“Hello?”

“What did you do?”

“Barba?”

“What did you do, Carisi?!”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N blocked my number,”

“Well good--”

“NO, not good. Carisi. What did you say to her?”

“Y’know Barba, maybe you should take the hint and move on,”

“Oh fuck you, Carisi,” He growled into the phone. “I’m going to the hospital,”

“Yeah well, good luck getting in here counselor,” Sonny shook his head with a small laugh, glancing over at you in your room, while he stood outside. “I’ve told the nurses you were a deadbeat dad who wanted to kidnap our niece for yourself, so they’re on alert not to let you anywhere near her,”

“You’re evil,” His voice was low and horrified.

“I’m doing what’s best for my baby cousin, Barba. If that makes me the bad guy, so be it,” Sonny spoke like a mob boss, tracing the glass on the window to your room.

“I’ll see her when she gets out,” Rafael sneered.

“Well that might be difficult, seeing as I’ve found her a very nice place to go as soon as she gets outta here. Somewhere far away from here, and you,” Sonny couldn’t help but smirk.

“No, Carisi don’t do this,” Rafael became desperate, his angry threats turned to pathetic pleas. “Please don’t send her away-- I love her,”

“If you love her you’ll let her go, Rafael,” Sonny simply said, ending the call before Rafael could say anything else.

“GOD DAMMIT!!!!” Rafael screamed in the middle of the foot traffic, making people turn and stare at him.

He had to fix this. He couldn’t let you leave thinking he didn’t want you. He couldn’t lose you, not now. Not after everything.

Was he going to lose you forever?

#rafael barba #rafael barba angst #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba fanficton #law and order svu #sonny carisi #sonny carisi angst #law and order svu fanfiction #weird secret friends

[tinisprout]

No Doubt in Us

Chapter Six (PART 2) - Looking Back to Move Forward (2)

Fiance!Haknyeon x Fem!reader

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Synopsis: Life is great, you have your dream job, you finally got your first big break, and you are now engaged to the love of your life. Happier than you’ve ever been, you live life one day at a time. Then one day a terrible accident happens leaving you in a coma. Where you finally awake, everything is not as you remember. Amnesia takes away 3 years of your memory, forgetting your beloved Fiance. Faced with a reality that seems unreal, as your mind is stuck in a past with uncomfortable memories, your future with him is uncertain.

Send me an ask if you want to be put on the taglist for this series

Taglist:@my-summer-night @deputyjuyeon @juhaktheoneforme @sunqnew

CW/TW: talks of an old stalker, harassment, violence (from sangyeon and stalker)

Word count: 4K+

Looking at your Instagram account you regretted your habit of deleting your old posts. The image previews you saw were all unfamiliar. You thought about Chanhee’s words, you wanted more than anything to move on, but you felt the need to defend your way of thinking even if it wasn’t completely right. Maybe looking through these would help you make a decision, so you clicked on the oldest post.

Almost all the posts had mentioned Haknyeon, how you interacted with and talked about him, it was obvious you were head over heels for him, there wasn’t any doubt in your head he felt the same. You felt a lump form in your throat, you seemed very happy with him, so free from the trauma, safe? Chanhee said to believe in the you that chose him, seeing the love you had for him displayed in front of you so plainly, you did trust him so much. It suddenly hit you, finally realizing just how terrible you’ve been to him. You’ve been so selfish not for a second taking into consideration how he’s doing.

You never apologized for what you did at the hospital, just how awful he must have felt in that moment when he was waiting for you so earnestly for you to wake up. The talk you had together, was all one-sided, you didn’t ask what he wanted to do, how he felt about the situation, you just said what you wanted. Even though you don’t know him, he is like a stranger to you, he didn’t deserve to be treated like that. You felt tears plop on your chest, you didn’t know when you started crying.

You felt sorry for Haknyeon and yourself. Hurting him was never your intention, but you were sure that’s exactly what you were doing. Why did you have to lose your memory? You found yourself yearning for that happiness that freedom. You wanted to apologize to him, you wanted to move forward.

Roughly wiping away your tears you calmed yourself down. Chanhee was right, wasn’t he? Even if we don’t stay together, It would be better for me to remember everything. I want to try and take a chance on him again. You thought about how you would apologize to him when he came back.

***

The sound of the door unlocking interrupted your thoughts. You got up from the couch and moved closer to the door. As it opened your eyes met with the back of Haknyeon’s head, facing the person behind him as they pushed him into the house. The person behind him faced you, giving a smile in greeting. This must be Hyunjae.

Seeing this, Haknyeon followed Hyunjae’s eyes turning around almost jumping in surprise. He didn’t expect you to be waiting by the door and he stopped in his tracks. His eyes scanned over you, it had been too long since he got a proper look at you, admittedly that was his fault. He noticed that your eyes seemed to be puffy. Was she crying?

He was brought out of his thoughts when Hyunjae pushed him forward. “I’ve brought Haknyeon as per Chanhee’s request,” Hyunjae said in a tone like he was stating serious orders. It made you smile a little.

“Thank you, Hyunjae.” He nodded back at you.

“I hope you two can... figure things out. Bye.” He waves his hand at you and pats Haknyeon’s back as he leaves.

“Let’s sit down, we need to talk.” Saying this you step out of the way letting him go ahead of you.

“Yes, we do.” Haknyeon sits in the same spot as last time. This time instead of sitting on the couch again you sit on the floor across the coffee table so you both are at eye level.

“I know I was the one that did most of the talking last time, but can I go first again, I need to say something important.”

“Yes, go ahead.” He had some important things to say too, but to him, you were a priority.

“First, I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry for the things I said and did at the hospital. I’m sorry for being selfish,” you clenched your hands together as they rested on the table. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for not being able to trust you. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done since I woke up.”

“I need to apologize too. I’m sorry that I left you home this whole time when I could have been helping you. I was selfish, too scared to see you, I’m sorry that I didn’t put you first, considering your situation. I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest with you and didn’t say what I felt.”

“No, but you wouldn’t have done any of that if it weren’t for me.” Your face was full of remorse. Haknyeon put a hand over your clenched ones, pulling you out of your self-loathing. He pulls his hand away after catching your attention.

“Don’t say that y/n. We could play the blame game all day long, but we both did some wrong things, in the end. I think… instead of trying to blame ourselves, we should try and right our wrongs.” You look into his eyes and slowly nod your head, his words giving you the courage to say the rest of what you need to say.

“I’ve told you about my stalker before, haven’t I?” Haknyeon is shocked that you brought up that topic suddenly.

“Yes, a long time ago. But why are you bringing this up, did something happen?” He became a lot more concerned.

“No, thank God. I-I just need to tell you about it.”

“What? I already said you told me, you don’t have to, I know.”

“I know. I’m doing this for me. I think if I don’t talk about it with you, then I won’t be able to move on. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for that, just… please, don’t push yourself.” He could tell you were very serious about wanting to tell him. If it was going to help you, he wouldn’t tell you not to do it, but he still didn’t feel good about it. He remembers just how hard it was for you to tell him the first time.

“Mh,” you take a deep breath to calm your nerves, calling these memories to the forefront of your mind. “I had a co-worker I was acquainted with. I would only see him the few times I went to discuss business at my company, we chatted a few times. One day he asked me out on a date and I thought, why not, he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. So we went on a date, it wasn’t too bad, so we went on another.

“After the second date, I realized we wouldn’t be a good fit for each other. So when he asked me on another date I said, no, I didn’t want to string him on when I wasn’t interested anymore. I thought he took the rejection pretty well, soon after I started getting a lot of messages from him. I didn’t think much of it at first cause we had become a little closer, there shouldn’t have been a problem just being friends, but then he started asking questions that were too personal and intrusive. It made me uncomfortable and I asked him to stop, but the same kind of messages kept coming so I blocked him. I didn’t see him again till I came back to the company, but we didn’t talk to each other, so I thought that he was over me and that was the end of it.” You rubbed and squeezed at your hands.

“Just breathe, you’re doing great.” Following his words, you take another deep breath.

“Me and Chanhee’s apartment building wasn’t too far from my company and we didn’t have a car, so I would just walk there. On my way back I felt like someone was looking at me, following me. I thought I was just paranoid, there were so many people on the street at this time there is a lot of people going the same way as me, and I went home without a problem. After that, I would get that feeling a lot when I was outside, but I never noticed anyone out of the ordinary, so I didn’t know if I was just being paranoid. There were times I was so scared I would go into the nearest building and call Chanhee so I wasn’t alone. I stopped going out as often as I did.

“Eventually, a box addressed to me came, inside it was a note that said, ‘let’s meet soon.’ There were also pictures of me walking outside… and one of me and Chanhee talking on the balcony, his face was X-ed out.” Your face twisted as you thought about back then. It wasn’t just you that was in danger, Chanhee was too and you had no idea who you should be looking out for.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, Chanhee is okay. You can stop if it’s too much,” Haknyeon said with concern, he wished he could hold you and comfort you like the first time you told him.

“No, I’m almost done. Chanhee said we should keep it as evidence, take it to the police but we couldn't do anything because we didn't know who it was. When we could, we would go out together to do even the smallest of errands so we wouldn't be alone. One of the days we went out together to buy some stuff from the convenience store, Chanhee was busy that day so it was a little late. We realized we forgot to buy something while on our way back, we were pretty close so we walked back.

“I waited by the corner outside with the bags so we wouldn't look like we were stealing or anything, while Chanhee went back inside. Then I began to feel uncomfortable being out by myself, others were walking out every once in a while but not many. So I decided I would just go in too, but someone pulled me back before too long. It was him, the one I went on a date with. I didn't suspect him at first, but I told him I needed to go.” You closed your eyes, heart-pounding, reliving the moment again.

“He didn't let go, so I said it again, but I was upset that time. He grabbed my face saying that he waited so long to meet me again. I knew this wasn’t some coincidence at this point, that man was the one stalking me, so I tried to retaliate by swinging the bags in my arms at him and yelling. I could only keep him away for a little bit before he got the best of me, taking the bags from me. He pushed and held me against the wall.

“I don’t know exactly what he was planning to do to me, but It was thanks to your friend..., our friend, Sangyeon, that nothing else happened to me. He pulled him off of me and asked if I was okay and if I knew him. All it took was a word from me and Sangyeon decked him." A sneer came to your face thinking about Sangyeon giving that man what he deserved. You found yourself wishing you could have gotten a few hits on the disgusting prick yourself.

Looking at your expression, Haknyeon was a little surprised. Compared to the last time you told him you seemed to be a lot more ticked off and agitated. It was understandable because he felt the same. Haknyeon wasn’t a violent person, but that man would have to count his blessings if Haknyeon ever saw him. He also felt incredibly grateful to Sangyeon again.

"Thank you for telling me again, but why did you feel you needed to tell me specifically?"

"Well, that's part of the second thing I wanted to talk to you about. That whole situation is the reason I was pushing you away, I was scared, I didn't know if I could trust you, I was too afraid to try. I looked through some things and I came to realize that I was in love with you and I trusted you a lot." The words that came out of your mouth were exactly what you thought but saying it that bluntly was a little embarrassing, it was like a confession.

"Mhh." Haknyeon felt a little embarrassed by her words too, covering his mouth with his hand discreetly, he felt a smirk coming to his face.

"Well um, I want to move on, I don't want to be held back by those bad memories. Chanhee said that regardless of what happens in the future it would be best if I could try to remember the things I’ve forgotten. There isn’t much I can do if I don’t remember, but I won’t try to avoid my past anymore. I have a question and I think I already know the answer, but I want to hear you say it, so I know we can do something we both want to try. Haknyeon, do you love me?” Haknyeon shifted in his seat and he put his hand back on the table.

“Yes, I love you.” Your eyes met his steadfast gaze, he was so serious at that moment.

“Then if it’s okay with you, can we try again?”

“Do you mean try dating again?” Haknyeon tilts his head to the side.

“Yes.” Haknyeon laughs a little.

“Ah, that’s what I was going to ask.”

“I can’t promise that I can give you my full trust immediately or that I will fall in love with you again, but I’ll try to be more open with you.”

“y/n you don’t have to push yourself to open your heart to me when you don’t feel ready. We are partners, so we will work together to make this work. I will also work hard to gain your trust and be someone that you can be comfortable around.”

“That’s… right.” You gave a small smile, he really is so kind and understanding of your feelings.

“I love you, but I don’t want my feelings to burden you. If there comes a day when you feel like I’m not right for you anymore…, then just let me know. I won’t try to keep you by my side.”

“... What about you? We are engaged, we had the intention of spending the rest of our lives together. Will you be okay?” He said it with such ease it put a bad taste in your mouth.

“No, I won’t be okay.” Haknyeon’s eye trialed down looking at his hands. “It hurts to even think about you not being with me. But I don’t want you to stay with me because you feel burdened by my feelings, but because you love me. Knowing that you stayed because of guilt or pity, that would hurt more than just letting you go. If being with me only makes you unhappy, you might even come to resent me and that’s the last thing I want.”

His voice had a slight tremble to it. He brought his hands up to cover his eyes, apologizing. You wanted to do something, but you weren’t sure what you could do to comfort him.

“Don’t apologize, I understand. Let’s… just try to live life in the moment and instead of worry about what could happen in the future, we can try to make the best of the present.” Maybe your words were a little hypocritical, but you would try your damndest to live up to them. Haknyeon sniffles and nods at your words, still covering his eyes. He inhales deeply.

“I’m okay I’m okay.” You weren’t sure if he was saying that to you or himself. He rubs at his eyes then pulls his hands away and tries to give you a reassuring smile. This was a truly pitiable man.

“Alright alright, let’s stop being so depressing right now. Um, question. I’ve been wondering how you were able to avoid me so easily?” This is a little more light-hearted, right?

“Oh, well you are a pretty deep sleeper, and I figured out your sleeping schedule a long time ago, well at least when you aren’t working.”

“What about the shower?”

“We have showers at the dance studio, so I would just take a bunch of clothes.”

“So sneaky.” You say playfully while pouting your lips.

“Hey, I’m about as sneaky as you.”

“I feel like that doesn’t really help your case.”

“...Touche. You are pretty sneaky too.”

“Oh my goodness, before I forget! My parents are coming over tomorrow around noon, sorry for not telling you.”

“Oh actually, your mom texted me and told me.” You give him an inquisitive look.

“Are you close with my parents?”

“Not to brag but they kinda love me.” Haknyeon displayed a smug smile on his face.

“Ha, really now? We’ll have to see about that.” You yawned after those words. You weren’t too tired yet, but you figured it’s better to sleep now and wake up early, to get the house in order, for your parents' visit. “I think I’m gonna go crash now. I need to wake up early and clean up the house a little bit before my parents come.”

“I can help you then.” You smiled at the offer.

“Thanks.” You stood up stretching in place, needless to say between the two of you sleeping together in the same bed was a little too intimate, though you still felt bad about making him sleep on the bed all this time. I’ll make it up to him soon! “Also, if you didn’t get to eat yet there are still some leftovers in the fridge.”

“I ate before I got here.” Courtesy of Hyunjae, he thought food would cheer Haknyeon up and give him a little more time to think.

“Mh, Good night then.” You got out of his way so he could take the couch.

“Goodnight, y/n.” You were comforted by the gentle smile he showed you. Maybe we can make this work. You turned your back to him going upstairs to your room. Plopping yourself on the bed, you moved around making yourself comfortable, pulling the blanket over you.

Sleep did not take long to come to you, but it wouldn’t be peaceful.

You jolted awake with a sharp intake of breath. You could only be thankful that the nightmare wasn’t related to that incident. Fully awake now you felt hyper-aware of everything. The hum of the a/c and rustling of the leaves blowing in the wind, the shadows that danced across the room walls from the window, and how small you felt in this big bed.

You check your phone for the time, 1:26 a.m., and decided that you couldn’t sleep up here tonight. Sitting up and moved closer to the big window, looking out into the living room where you saw Haknyeon sleeping cramped on the couch. Crawling out of bed you take the comforter and your phone with you. You didn’t have any intention of waking Haknyeon up, seeing and hearing the presence of another person around you was enough to calm you down. You quietly laid the blanket out close to the couch.

Laying in one half you use the other half to cover your body. It wasn’t as comfortable as the bed, but you felt better as you listened to Haknyeon’s soft breathing. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, relaxing, letting yourself slowly fall back to sleep.

***

Haknyeon turned on the couch, well, as much as he could. Moving positions was a hassle and tended to wake him up for a bit. After turning he laid there for a few seconds then let a deep sigh through his nose out, restroom. Shifting up he gets off the couch, eyes almost closed as he tries to make his way to the restroom. He didn’t expect to trip and fall on the ground, completely waking him from his stupor.

“Owww.” A groan came out from the object he tripped on and out popped, y/n’s head from under the blanket, sending a frown to Haknyeon. He squints his eyes trying to focus on you, making sure he isn’t still dreaming. His eyes went wide when he realized you were actually there and he scrambled to his feet, going to your side.

“Oh my God, honey, uh, y/n, I’m sorry!” Well, you were fully up again, and it didn’t feel like you got any more sleep.

“It’s whatever, I’m fine,” you say with a pout. Haknyeon could tell he upset you and he felt terrible. Who wouldn’t be upset about being kicked while sleeping, even if it was an accident? “Are you okay?”

“Huh, oh yeah, I think so.” He smiled apologetically at you. It was an accident so you couldn’t stay mad especially when he looked at you like that.

“Why did you wake up?” Haknyeon wondered why that was important right now, but he still answered you.

“I needed to use the bathroom.”

“Go then.”

“Eh?”

“Go. I’ll still be here when you get back.” You looked like you accepted your fate of getting little sleep tonight. Haknyeon left for the bathroom and you sat up, uncovering yourself. You take the comforter and spread it across the floor. You go to get the pillows left in your room, bringing them downstairs.

The living room still bathed in darkness, you made your way back to the makeshift bed, placing the pillows a reasonable distance from each other. Taking one spot, you lay back down waiting for Haknyeon. When he comes out of the bathroom he sees you laying there looking off to space.

"What's going on? Why did you come down here?" He says as he walks up to your laying body and looks down at you.

"I had a nightmare…"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine and don't worry it wasn't about that. I was just a little scared to sleep alone after it…" Okay, that was way more embarrassing to say out loud than I thought.

"And what about that?" He points at the pillow next to yours.

"Well, I was hoping that you would keep me company and I figured that the floor would be better than our small couch. You don't have to sleep like a sardine over here." The last part sounded like you were trying to convince him, which sounded a little funny to him.

"Are you sure? This is like the same as sharing a bed isn't it?"

"No, it's not, we're on the floor. Plus my pillow is here and yours is over there, they aren't exactly next to each other." The mental gymnastics you went through to try and differentiate the two. Haknyeon wouldn't argue it if you were comfortable with it.

"Alright, let me get some blankets." Haknyeon goes to the small storage closet and pulls out two blankets. Walking back he takes the spot across from you, handing you a blanket and awkwardly laying down. "Can you not fall asleep?" You both cover yourselves.

"Hmm, I think I was asleep for a while, but then there was the nightmare. After that, it took me a long time to fall asleep. Then you woke me up, but it honestly felt like I didn't even get an extra second of sleep. So, I feel like I'm completely awake right now."

"Sorry."

"It was an accident, I forgive you." You turn your body to the side facing Haknyeon. "Anyways, can we talk for a bit? If you're tired it's fine, we don't have to."

"Lucky you. I also happen to be very awake right now. What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't really know much about you. Tell me about yourself."

"Be more specific."

"Uh, like your favorite color or your hobbies." Haknyeon smiled, these questions were like basic first date questions. He answered your questions thoughtfully, both of you having moments where you went on long tangents, hours passing you both by without notice. The sun starts to peek through the horizon, making the room brighter little by little, going unnoticed as you both happily chat with each other.

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#the boyz #tbz #the boyz social media au #the boyz smau #tbz smau #tbz social media au #juhaknyeon #ju haknyeon #haknyeon #the boyz haknyeon #tbz haknyeon #haknyeon fluff #haknyeon angst #haknyeon fanfic #the boyz scenarios #tbz scenarios #the boyz fanfic #tbz fanfic #the boyz imagines #tbz imagines #the boyz fake texts #tbz fake texts #Haknyeon smau #the boyz x you #the boyz x reader #tbz x reader #tbz x you #my writing #No Doubt in Us

[goth-albino-angel]

Yugiri's smile is everything. She has so many of them and they all mean different things. When she's relaxed, when she's excited, when she's confused, when she has no clue what's going on but everyone else is happy so she's happy, when she's relieved, when she's proud... She has so many different smiles and if Tumblr didn't have the 10 image rules, I would absolutely gush about every single one of them in detail. Unfortunately, if I do that, all of those posts will probably be eaten out of the tag, so instead, here are my top 10 favorite Yugiri smiles so far, images included. (Pre-Revenge episode 9)

10. Season One, Episode 2: The First Smile/ 9. Season One, Episode 10: The Sentimental Smile

Episode 2 is the first time we ever see Yugiri smile. Before this, she seemed relatively nonplussed or generally disinterested in pretty much everything going on. Even though she was in a different time period with complete strangers and a madman demanding her to be something she has no knowledge of, she was fairly calm. Then the first time we see her smile, it's when she sees something completely familiar. Her own face. Not only that, but she directs that smile toward the character that is going to become basically her little sister. The first one means so much and it's so important.

Within the same vein, her smile to Kotaro in episode 10 is one during an emotionally heavy moment. It's the first time he's hit an actual snag in his plans. Sakura's singular focus on the Arpino show rather than on the bigger picture of the group as a whole would have been a massive roadblock had she not realized her mistake.

Yugiri is the only one who properly realizes the reason they were sent into the mountains in the first place. Instead of simply sitting on the information, she's proactive about it and actually goes to discuss the problem with Kotaro. She wants to understand his reasoning so that she might be able to help him. And when she turns toward him, she also gives him the observations she's witnessed throughout her new life. This smile may be low on my list of favorites, but it's still unbelievably important.

...Also, when they released the preview image of this smile, my brain short-circuited for ten minutes, so it had to make it onto the list regardless.

8. Season Two, Episode One: The Professional Smile

This smile isn't much out of the ordinary for what we've come to expect of Yugiri, but it's on here because this was our first look at Yugiri after basically two years of very little. None of us knew how the group would come back, how the writing team had incorporated the unexpected pandemic, how things would play out, or what would be happening. The Promo showed Tae's hand flying off to knock off Sakura's head, but as 2018 displayed, the promos can't always be trusted. This showed that, even in this new world where she's only been awake for a year, she's putting her skills to use and working just as hard as the others. Thanks to the conversation from Episode 10 of the first season, we know she was trained as a geisha which would make service work much easier than it would be for the other girls.

I don't have too much to say on this one, to be honest. I do like that she's in softer lighting, as opposed to the others who were all surrounded by harsh lighting on their season two introductions. The softer lighting lends itself well to the lack of pigment and coloration in the girls' makeup, allowing Yugiri to look like she has some color, even if she still looks somewhat pale and tired. It doesn't give her quite the same sickly look the others have at their jobs. The red dress? 100/10. Perfect decision.

7. Season One, Episode Five: The Proud Smile

SHE. DOES. GYMNASTICS. She has every right to this smile! I did the math for this specific part of the episode and Yugiri got third place. The judges liked her rope aerobics so much, they shot her all the way to third place even though her distance was zero meters. It wouldn't have gotten her interviewed, but it would have at least put Franchouchou at the forefront. I still applaud Tae snagging first place, but Yugiri deserves some praise. She really did go face first into the mud on a bike and said, "Never again." She's so proud of herself. I'll be gushing about the actual gymnastics part in a different post a little later, too, but she definitely deserves to be proud of herself. I'm really gay...

6. Season One, Episode Four: The Cute Smile

Originally, this was just going to be me doing some keysmash version of a squeal or something, but there's something I'd like to draw attention to. I'm pretty sure that, by this point, Franchouchou only knows two songs. Yomigaere, which was supposed to be performed in episode 2, and Mezame Returner, which is what's being performed here. Of these two, Yugiri has more experience with this one, but from what the audience had been shown, it wasn't good experience.

Memorizing the lyrics would have been the easy part for her. It's that a good portion of the dance practice was also spent helping Lily get the steps down and potentially calming her frustrations. Then the performance itself would have been a complete disaster if Junko and Ai hadn't gotten over themselves at the last minute to finally help.

This is the first successful performance of Mezame Returner we're witnessing and it's clear the group's had more practice since then. You can see how excited and happy Yugiri is here because this one is actually going well. They had a bit more time to prepare, the two lead roles were actually involved this time, and the audience also was clearly enjoying the performance. She's so happy and it's just so heart-warming to see. Yes, even with the CGI. Don't @ me, she looks adorable.

5. Season One, Episode Seven: The Sassy Smile

This one also was just going to be a squealing keysmash thing, but again, I have something to point out. Look how much more confident she is now that Junko and Ai have, once again, gotten over themselves. Yugiri sees the effect that Junko stepping in had on the others and just like the rest of the group, her movements are more relaxed and free.

It's more obvious, actually, if you look at the way the other girls are moving directly after Junko helps Ai up in comparison to how Yugiri is moving. She did a spin while waiting for Sakura and Lily to finish their segment, and she could be cheeky during her own. She sensed that the tension had mostly dissolved and because of that, she allowed herself to relax and could properly throw herself into the performance. When she throws out this smile and wink, it's not actually directed at the audience. It's Yugiri telling the others that they've got this without breaking the performance.

4. Season Two, Episode Four: The Gentle Smiles

I put both of these here because Yugiri's just... so... caring? So much of what she does is passive that you don't realize just how much work she puts into relieving the stress from the other girls until long after the problem has been resolved.

In the first, she's speaking to Sakura. No doubt, Yugiri probably noticed how worried Sakura was about Junko. Even though Sakura was trying not to let the others catch on just how anxious she really was, Yugiri still knew that something was bothering Sakura as well as Junko. Yugiri knew that the key to easing Junko's mind lay in placating Sakura first. She's seen what happens to them all when they fall apart and she wants to avoid that at all costs. So, Yugiri lifts Sakura's spirits and gives her back the fire and determination to make a great performance.

In the second, Yugiri is watching Junko eat. Unlike the others, it's clear Yugiri knows that Junko is in much higher spirits than when last they saw her. Junko would likely have still been a stuttering, quivering mess otherwise, but she wasn't stuttering and her actions were purposeful and self-assured. Yugiri is very observant. She would have caught on that something had happened to make Junko feel better. What makes this smile even better is that she's not the least bit disappointed. The reason she made dinner was to help Junko, but she doesn't view the meal as a waste of time. She's so focused on other people, that she's happy Junko is feeling better at all and even offers her different platters to help keep her mood up.

These are high on the list for two reasons. One, they're a show of just how much Yugiri does for her girls. Two, YUGIRI COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HEADCANON CONFIRMED BITCHEEEESSS!!! I GOT ONE RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!

3. Season Two, Episode Six: The Affectionate Smile

I will be completely honest, I have no idea why this one is as high as it is. I admit, I did spend three hours replaying this single thirty second scene because it's really sweet and Yugiri and Tae don't interact very often, so seeing Yugiri not only be worried for Tae, but also be immediately reassured that Tae would be fine was just something my heart didn't know it needed until it had it. The sheer level of affection Yugiri shows toward Tae is too adorable. Especially since Yugiri usually only has moments like those with Sakura and, to a lesser extent, Lily. This smile's really cute, it's in the middle of a wholesome scene, and it made me love both Yugiri and Tae that much more.

2. Season One, Episode Three: The Excited Smile

Once again, an entry that was going to be a simple squealing keysmash until I realized there was something to point out here as well. This is the first smile we ever see from Yugiri that's genuinely enthusiastic. She has plenty of them, especially during her performances, but this is our first time seeing her fully incorporate herself into the group as an actual member and actually look excited to do something with the others. This was an omen of adorable things to come and damn did it deliver.

Honorable Mentions.

I'm only going to touch on each of these briefly because to be honest, there are a LOT of smiles I could've picked.

The first one is from episode 6 when the group is talking about their very first meet-and-greet. Lily asks Yugiri if she's keeping up okay, and Yugiri remarks that she's taking things as they come. This was a small look into the kind of character she is. As I mentioned before, she's very passive in the way she operates, but that's to the benefit of those she cares for. This is her admitting that she doesn't want to be a problem and it's just sweet that even though Lily is worried about her, Yugiri's still highkey thinking about everyone else.

To the right is a shot of Yugiri during Electric Returner. This one is just the squealing keysmash because she looks so genuinely ecstatic, it's contagious. She's NO DAMN CLUE what happened or why they sound so different, but she is absolutely living her best second life.

The next shot comes from the beginning of Yomigaere and is somewhat of a repeat of the above. She's excited to perform for such a big crowd, she's glad Sakura finally agreed to actually participate, and she's living her best second life. Whoever animates Yugiri's CG model? I love you. I want to send you a gift basket. She's always so happy during performances.

Then comes her smile after the group finds out Sakura's memories are back. She's just glad Sakura, her Sakura, has come back to them, that she accepts her crap luck and is still willing to stay. For Yugiri, this goes under the list of Best Possible Outcomes. Her family is whole again and she's so relieved.

Last in the top row is the first full frontal shot we get of Yugiri in the Saga Jihen music video. She's so unbelievably adorable here. I wish I could've gotten her first expression, but the curtain was still rising and without photoshop, I'm not editing an image to the degree needed to get her whole face lightened. Point is, she's cute and everyone deserves to see her adorable face on the first song she got to be center for.

First on the bottom row is Yugiri looking apologetic from episode 8 of Revenge. She's so cute. It was an honest mistake and she had no way of knowing the paper belonged to Kiichi. No doubt, that was probably why she offered to help him rewrite them later.

Next is how cute she looks in big sister mode. She's wiping the mud from Kiichi's cheeks and is taking such care with him. Throughout the entire episode, she treats him like a little kid and it's likely because her role was big sister for so long that she doesn't know how not to treat him that way. It really does shed light on just how kind she is to everyone, though, that she doesn't even think about her dirty kimono and focuses on cleaning him up a little first.

Then we have her smiling at Kiichi as she remarks on how beautiful his dream of reviving Saga is. She even says she hopes it comes true. His dream means something to her. She can't even fully see it, he can't even fully see it, but they don't need to. What Itou didn't understand this whole time is something Yugiri understood immediately just from listening to Kiichi talk. They don't need to see it in their minds, all they need is to feel it in their hearts, and that's something Yugiri knows.

And lastly on the honorable mentions, because this post is already super long, Yugiri smiling while she's cooking for her guests. It was a tossup between this or the pinwheel because it's just really nice that Yugiri can simply enjoy mundane things. I chose this one because it's a direct contrast to how she was at the beginning. Before, she ate with a disinterested expression, but now, she's cooking for guests rather than just for herself. The lift in her mood is obvious, and it's something so small but so heartwarming, I couldn't resist.

I would've put the pinwheel moment anyway, but unfortunately, as a com major, formatting and design are everything and an extra picture on the top or bottom without a balancer would've thrown the whole thing off. Maybe next time.

NOW FOR NUMBER ONE

1. Season Two, Episode Eight: The Softest Smile

This should have been expected. There's something genuinely touching about the fact that Yugiri really does give her everything, even to complete strangers. These girls barely know her, everyone in town barely knows her, but because her dance students suggested Yugiri go out and actually experience, Yugiri gives it actual thought. She doesn't dismiss them, she doesn't deride them, she doesn't make them feel foolish or anything like that. She treats their suggestion the same way she would if it had come from a close friend. And she does actually take them up on it.

Later, we see her come into contact with Kiichi to demonstrate that even full-on strangers aren't exempt from her kind heart, but this means more. All we know is that these girls take Yugiri's dance class, and from the way they speak when we first meet them, it's clear Yugiri has a professional wall between herself and those she instructs. But she still treats them as she would the girls back in Shimabara. It's proof that, even in the past, Yugiri really was just as kind-hearted as in the present. It's a show don't tell kind of thing that just speaks so deeply to the writer in me. I love this smile. It's everything. Her smiles are everything. She's everything.

#Yugiri #Yuugiri #Zombieland Saga #Zombie Land Saga #Zombieland Saga Revenge #Zombie Land Saga Revenge #Angel has spoken #rip mobile users #I'm sorry but I needed to do this #also sorry about the slight passive aggressiveness for entries five and six #I'll do better

[khoicesbyk]

Heyyyyy it must be Sunday!

And your girl (and Al) are back with another installment of Six Sentence:

And today (Sunday, May 2nd) I have not one but two previews!

Up first is a special one shot I wrote for a friend as a birthday present! It’s named A Knight’s Return. It's everyone’s favorite Crown Shield Kayden Vescovi *swoon* and my friends MC Queen Kassidy Rosario. See Below:

“My love…”

She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“So the rumors are true? You are home.”

“Yes, I am. I have missed you.”

“How was your training?”

“It went well. I have mastered my powers. I have so much to show you.”

She stood there with her arms crossed and her emotions warring within her. She missed him terribly but she was also furious with him.

“You are not happy to see me?”

He stepped closer to her. Wanting to feel her in his arms again.

“It’s been 3 years Kayden. What am I supposed to be?”

“Not this.”

“And what do you think this is?”

“Resentful.”

She chuckled dryly.

“Again, I have not seen or felt you in 3 long years! And you just expect me to jump into your arms the minute you decide to finally return to me?”

“My love…”

She holds a hand up.

“No. You don’t get to call me that. Not after all this time.”

“Please…I have missed you so! I lo—“

She cut him off. She did want to hear him say that he loved her. Not now.

“This conversation is over!”

She moved to walk around him but he grabbed her by the arm and kissed her. He wanted to taste her lips on his. Feeling her this close to him, after all, this time apart, made the magic within him swirl to life and made her knees weak. When their kiss broke both were breathless.

“My…love…”

Kassidy kept her eyes closed and when she opened them, she remembered where she was and where he’d been. When he went to kiss her again, she slapped him.

“Don’t you dare touch me!”

Holding his jaw he chuckled.

“At least you remembered what I taught you.”

Her eyes blazed with fury.

“You don’t get to kiss me! Not now! Not ever!”

“You don’t mean that.”

“After not being able to so much as look at you…yes, I do!”

She went to stomp past him but he caught her wrist.

“Do not walk away from me, Kassidy!”

She stiffened before turning to face him.

“Your majesty.”

He stared at her in disbelief.

“Don’t do this Kassidy.”

“It’s your majesty. And you will address me as such!” She hissed at him before jerking her wrist away and going inside to her chambers.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

And for my second preview we have chapter 20 (I know! I know! How did I get so far? But! Stay with me! I promise you! We're getting to good part!) of my Wolf Bride Series Beloved! And today my MC Naia is giving Trent (an OC) a piece of her mind. See below:

“Good morning.”

“Morning sleepyhead. .”

He turned around with his shirt open.

“I didn’t think you were awake.”

“I haven't been awake long.”

He walked over to her and placed a kiss on her forehead. He could tell that something was off.

“You might wanna get dressed. Unless you want to go back to your parents naked.”

Naia got dressed before joining him in his living room.

“Have you been awake long?”

“I woke up when your phone went off earlier.”

She watched him as he stiffened.

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“I didn't want to disturb you and your conversation.”

“How much of it did you hear?”

“Enough to know that you are using me to get to Roman. Or at least you want to.”

Trent sighed heavily.

“I'm sorry that it's come to this but I don't have a choice Naia.”

She wanted to slap him.

“That's where you’re wrong. You always have a choice.”

“Not when it comes to Scrappy-Doo and company.”

Naia scoffed and shook her head.

“So what was last night?”

Trent shrugged.

“Besides a whole lot of fun? It was sex Naia. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Naia looked at him like he had lost all sense.

“Woooow…so that's all I am to you? Some cheap fuck?”

He exhaled slowly.

“Look, I like you. I do. And I don't want to hurt you. And I'm sorry if you feel a certain type of way, but none of that matters. I still have a job to do Naia. I still have a town and people to protect.”

Naia crossed her arms.

“And you have the nerve to call him a monster.”

“HE IS a monster! They all are! And they have to be stopped!”

“By killing them?!”

“No! By capturing them.”

“What do you mean by capturing them?!”

“I don't want or wish to kill them. I want to help them.”

“Help them how?”

“By curing them.”

“Curing them? They don't need to be cured! There's nothing wrong with them!”

“Naia they attacked last night. Injured 100’s of people.”

“They weren’t themselves.”

Trent chuckled darkly.

“God…he’s got you wrapped.”

He could feel Naia staring at him.

“Are you dressed?”

“Mostly. Why?”

“Because before I take you back to your parents, I want you to come to town with me. That way you'll see for yourself.”

“See what?”

“The damage that they caused.”

“You expect me to trust you?”

“You trusted me last night didn't you?”

Naia opened her mouth to retort but closed it instead.

Tag List: @shewillreadyou @rideordiechronicles @pixie88 @bebepac @lucy-268 @txemrn @thefrenchiemama @chemist-ana @shannonsaid @shannonwrote @aussieez @choicesficwriterscreations

Happy Sneak Peeking! 😘

#choices #pixelberry #choices stories you play #khoicesbyk #choices fanfiction #fanfic #wolf bride #the royal masquerade #kayden vescovi #kayden x mc #k’s six sentence sunday #cfwc sunday six #six sentence sunday