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desireesfics · 2 months

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bad habits.

pairing: dealer!ellie x reader.

summary: when you were a kid you had always put a pillow or a big stuffed animal between your legs, you honestly felt comfort by it. but tonight you decided it was going to be somebodies head.

warnings: uh widely ellie giving head?, use of drugs, girls kissing 🤯, swearing, a little bit of dacryphilia, pretty self-indulgent i know its weird im sorry — MINORS DNI !!

a/n: just because the strikes ended does not mean you shouldnt stop posting about palestine!

———————

you were helpless, depressed even. being locked up in your dorm for god knows how long. your friends had been nagging you about various parties on campus, you simply just left them on read, not wanting to deal with the aftermath of the party.

it wasnt until now that you had decided to go. not because you wanted to, you were going against your own will.

your friends, isabella, mattie and thea were forcing you out of your dorm because the state you were in right now was just honestly disgusting.

you were packing a bag to go over to isabellas house because they werent letting you stay in that dorm for a minute more, when thea said. “youve been stuck in here for forever, we havent seen you in awhile, we miss you girl.”

you sighed, reaching over to your closet to find an outfit appropriate for tonight. “look i know, things just havent been the best right now.” you didnt bother to look back because you know all thats going to be written on their faces will be pity.

“can you guys help me pick an outfit atleast?” they squeal, marching over to you before yanking you out of their ways.

mattie held up a dress, it was pink, delicate, something you would were on a picnic.

“dude, thats so basic.” isabella called out from the side, rolling her eyes at matties choice.

“i dont wear stuff like this— how would i fucking know?” she huffed.

“calm down guys, why dont we let ms depresso give us an idea of what she wants?” thea shouts over the teo annoyingly loud girls.

“i— depresso? seriously? not even funny.” you roll your eyes before pulling up pinterest on your phone, you always managed to find decent outfits off of the app.

you typed in ‘party outfits aesthetic.’ before you landed on something similar you had in your closet.

the outfit had a mini, mini, mini, mini black skirt paired with a black lettuce-cut, corset bralette looking thingy and just below that, knee-high boots. you admit it, you looked hot as fuck.

“damn girl, if i were gay id definitely hit you up.” way to go isabella, way to go.

“oh please youre totally into girls, youre acting like you dont eye that dina girl everytime we walk around her area on campus.” mattie adds.

isabella did everything in her will power to ignore the comment, but she couldnt help but blush.

the look of approval shot around the room was hilarious and you all burst out into laughter. you really havent felt this good in awhile.

quickly memorising the girl mattie had mentioned before, you could remember she would always be hanging around with someone else.

“hey, any of you know the girl dina hangs with? i cant think of her name.” you think hard, like really hard, you knew the girl was attractive from all the times you had seen her since isabella coincidentally hung there too.

“yeah, her names ellie, i buy from her sometimes. why, you got the hots for her?” thea teases.

“just shut up and give me her insta.” you roll your eyes, playfully shoving the girl as the two others made ‘oooooh’ sounds.

“fine, just give me a second.” thea whips out her phone and starts going through her following. she clicks on a profile and holds the phone up to you so you could get a good look.

her account was private, by the looks of it she had a batman smoking weed profile picture? interesting.. her user was ‘@ellieisawesome327.’

sounds like a name some 5 year old would put on secretly. “oh, interesting.” you couldnt help but giggle, she obviously wasnt the best at using this stuff.”

you pulled out your phone and searched for her user, you didnt follow it just yet, you thought it would be creepy since she didnt know you at all. you simply just kept the name in the search bar, ready for when you actually want to follow her.

———————

a few hours had passed and you all had gotten done up, makeup, hair, outfits, everything you would do before a party.

“whos car we taken’?” mattie asked. you and the others looked at her like she was some idiot.

“theres only one car in the driveway, take a guess numbskull?” thea pointed out, mattie pouted.

“rude.” she huffed. turning around to scroll on tiktok.

you were sitting on the bed, getting comfy since the party wasnt for another hour, when you spotted one of isabellas pillow. you had put it between your legs, you found some comfort in doing that ever since you were a kid, it was a weird and bad habit.

“whatre ya’ doin silly?” isabella pointed out, she sort of new you had this weird habit of putting things between your legs.

“getting comfy, what does it look like?” you roll your eyes, scrolling through your instagram feed.

“if you actually want something between your legs, try and get head tonight.” isabella added. it was a harmless joke, your group had always joked like this. you toned out the muffled giggles in the back thinking if you should actually get laid tonight.

it had been awhile since you had had sex, and it was getting annoying hearing everyones ‘wild’ stories.

you tool the pillow out from between your legs and threw it back into its position it was in before.

“you guys think we should get going? the parties in twenty minutes.” thea said. you all nodded and got up from your positions to march off to the car.

the drive was ten minutes, you put on your group playlist, it was made for roadtrips you guys took every once and awhile. but tonight you just needed to hear something other then their voices.

you were all vibing to the music when it eventually came to a stop. you sighed and got out of the car, shivering as the cold wind hit your very exposed body.

everyone walked in, it wasnt exactly packed, but you hesitated and mattie noticed that.

mattie was the average femme grouped masc. the one to carry around the shopping bags when you went shopping kind of girl. she was sweet, there were times where you had found yourself harmlessly crushing over her. she knew you had a bit of anxiety and offered you some of her meds before leaving but you kindly declined.

now obviously regretting your decision, she gripped onto your hand and squeezed it tight, for reassurance. you smiled and walked in with the others.

———————

it had been 2 hours and the group had split, isa probably off eating dinas face off, mattie chatting with some of the guys from a basketball team she had played against when faking being a guy as a dare, and thea off buying or even selling drugs. you were sat on a dusty old couch, not exactly wasted but definitely not sober.

you hadnt noticed you were sitting next to the girl whos instagram you were stalking earlier. but the realisation hit when you smelt weed from her direction.

she was very obviously eye fucking you, she wasnt even shy about it, it couldve been the weed that was in her system or she was wildly bold.

“hey?” you started off your soon long to be conversation.

“hi.” she was caught off guard when she realised you were talking to her.

“ellie right?” she nodded and you exchanged your name to her, along with numbers. you sat back further into the couch, parting your legs a little giving her a slight view of what was under you skirt. you enjoyed the fact that she was looking. a little smirk appeared on your face and she didnt notice it.

“my friend thea buys from you right?” she snapped her head up to look into your eyes. you noticed the green in her eyes under the blue hue of the lights in the room. she nodded,

“yeah why? wanna buy from me?” you shook your head.

“kinda tight on money right now, i would though.” you sighed, resting your head on your hand.

she thought for a minute. “ill share a blunt with you, only coz’ youre cute.” she winked and you blushed.

“oh, thanks..” you stare off awkwardly waiting for her to light it, she was wondering if she made you uncomfortable.

“s—sorry, didnt mean to make you uncomfortable.” you shook your head a smiled before she handed you the joint.

you took a puff and handed it back to her, waiting a bit before exhaling. you noticed she was manspreading. then you noticed she didnt quite look like any other girls that were at the party, very masculine. is she lesbian? no surely not, maybe she just likes being comfortable.

ellie was wearing a worn-out jacket, joels. she wore it everywhere she went.

she caught you staring at the position she was in, fighting the urge to spread them further. you noticed she was holding back from something and looked up at her, oh shit she caught you.

a shit eating grin was plastered on her face. “you ‘kay?” she asked, the same smug expression written all over her face.

you nodded and took the blunt out of her hand. you were blushing under the dim lights in the corner, the rest of the place was filled with colourful lights changing every second.

she started blushing too, she didnt know why. you looked up to her with parted lips. the high kind of kicking in now.

“can i.. kiss you?” you asked softly. you regretted that so hard, fuck fuck fuck she probably doesnt like girls..

she moved closer, draping a hand over your shoulder. “thought youd never ask.” she smirked before smashing her lips onto yours.

the kiss was hungry, like she was desperate for something, you couldnt quite place your tongue on it. the only thing placed on your tongue right now was hers. you kissed her back with just as much passion.

the moans you let out were absolutely pornographic. ellie knew she had to do something about this, stopping the kiss whilst you let out a whine from the lack of attention.

you were borderline wet, like waterpark wet, and it wasnt helping that you were wearing a flimsy skirt that had rode up in the process.

“cmon’ princess.” she took your hand, you felt a bit clumsy for some reason, dizzy, your head was foggy, only thinking about how good she tasted.

you followed her around as she knocked on various locked rooms. finally breaking one open, she slammed it shut, locking it and pressing you up against it. not to hard though, wouldnt wanna hurt your pretty little head.

“fuck, youre so goddamn hot.” she mumbled between kisses. you couldnt help but moan at how turned on she made you feel.

she pushed her knee up between your thighs and you shivered, grinding down onto it. chasing the very needed friction.

you wondered how such an innocent question like ‘can i kiss you?’ turned into you riding on her knee.

“els’, please..” that shit eating grin reappeared on her face and you just wanted to smack it right off, you rolled your eyes. your words and wetness only boosted her ego more.

“please what baby?” she teased. why was she teasing you? you couldnt take it. tears started bubbling in your eyes.

“please just— fuck me.” you mumble out. she liked the sight of you crying, so desperate for her. she was going to tease you more before you actually got what you wanted.

“what was that?” she smirked.

you looked up at her through teary eyes. “can you, uh— go down on me? please?” you were begging, that was a sight.

she pulled you over to the bed, through the dimly light room. “strip.”

you did as she said, it wasnt hard to take off your clothes since there was barely anything on you. first your top, leaving you in a skimpy black lacy bra to match your underwear. then came the boots and skirt.

finally, leaving you in a two piece set. she was waiting patiently for you to take them off. you dont know why you were so hesitant, maybe it was because you hadnt done this in awhile, or maybe it was because her stare was so intense it made your stomach do flips, distracting you from the easy task.

she walked over to help you since you couldnt finish what you had started. “d’ you want this?” you nodded painfully slow.

she peeled off your underwear, holding them up to get a good look before back down to your now bare cunt. it was dripping at the sight of her.

“s’ wet for me princess.” she smirked once more, if she smirked anymore her face would probably get stuck like that.

then came the bra, she asked you to turn around so she could unclip it, she was slightly struggling since she wasnt used to these fancy bras, only because she wears a sports bra.

you giggled and reached your arms behind you to take it off, turning around to leave her ogling at the sight of you.

“youre so beautiful.” you blushed, hard. she looked up at you for some sort of reassurance and you nodded.

a minute ago she was so dominant and now shes sweeter than a cookie. you adored that.

she reached her hands out to cup your tits, so soft, she thought. squeezing them and pinching your now hardened, pebbled nipples.

she elicited a moan out of you. you sat back on the bed for comfort and she dived into them. sucking harshly on your tits.

you couldnt tell if you hated it or loved it, your monas were telling her otherwise.

she left purple marks all over your neck, tits, stomach, anywhere she could mark really. you were huffing, all you needed her to do was touch you down there.

“patience baby.” she replied to your subtle huffs. you rolled your eyes, pleading with your body language as you rolled your hips into nothing.

her head moved down slowly, taking time with your body as if you werent some one night stand. did she actually like you?

she kissed all over your stomach and you felt giddy, you were giggling at how it tickled.

the she dipped her head low, taking in how soaked you were. the whole time you had been rubbing your thighs together. any subtle touch made you go crazy.

she fully dived in, and you moaned her name out, loud enough to here over the booming music. “e-els!” she teased your clit with her tongue, licking a stripe down, giving your clit kitten kisses.

her tongue reached places your fingers couldn’t surprisingly. you couldnt stop panting. it felt like heaven.

your vision was going blurry, white, if the coil in your belly bubbled anymore it was going to snap. “ellie.. i—im gonna!..” she moaned into your pussy, sending hypnotising vibrations into it.

“i know baby, come for me.” those words was the thing that snapped the bubbling coil.

you felt hot slick pool out of you, she lapped up all she could, almost overstimulating you. you were panting.

she got up and laid beside you, toying with your plush tits. you could almost fall asleep right then and there.

“alright,” she patted your thigh. “i gotta get going, heres my number though.” she pulled out a random piece of paper from her pocket and a pen. had she been preparing for this? you thought. she handed you the note like a little kindergartener and put her shirt back on.

you had the sudden urge to shove a pillow between your legs, whining from the loss. you fought back everything in you to shove the pillow that was staring at you between your legs. you watched ellie leave,

she left you on the bed looking back at you to smile before closing the door behind you. you eventually got up and put your clothes on, walking over to the bathroom that was in the small room to fix up your hair and makeup.

you realised your hand was still clutching that little piece of paper. you looked at it and read it slowly, still regaining composure.

‘**** **** **** **** message me ;) x’

you probably werent going to message her, but just incase, you slipped the note into your purse and walked out of the room going to look for you friends to take them home, luckily ellie had sobered you up.

———————

a/n: im sorry the ending actually sucks i was getting sick of this and i needed to get it out of my drafts. should i turn it into a series were reader actually messages ellie? idk.

#lesbian #ellie williams #ellie x reader #lgbtqia #i need ellie bro #wlw #bad habits #ellie williams tlou #ellie tlou #ellie is so hot #ellie x fem reader #ellie smut

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orbdotexe · 6 months

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[we're gonna ignore how long it took me to remember i didnt finish this post. but its done now so--]

I've found that the general reaction to Wolf in Exile, is about the same as the reaction to Uldren in canon.

When Amanda finds out that Crow used to be Uldren, she gets angry and lashes out at him, even when he's not there. Before Crow got his memories back, he'd hear about the things Uldren did and would be disgusted yet pitied him for the path that must've brought the prince to do so. When Crow first finds out who he used to be, he struggles with it; angry and refusing to accept it while making threats based on the events he's rejecting (which, in Exile, would be Crow's view of Wolf after he realizes the position he's in and before Cayde breaks and tells him about what happened in the Prison)

Do you see. do you see it yet

On another note, time to correct/build on some older Exile lore:

I know the first mention I made of Nimbus was in a joke post about "What if the entire problem of TFE was isolated to the vanguard" and I was talking about how Nimbus hears Wolf's side of the story first, but I've decided to keep that actually! Since Wolf does end up getting unexiled before Final Shape (haven't figured out exactly when - I... haven't been able to play very much, so I am open to ideas here), I was thinking that it'd be a mixture of Crow, Osiris, Saint and Nimbus wearing Zavala down (on top of The Guilt TM) that would finally bust that wall down and Crow would go drag them back to the City. So basically, we have even MORE character conflicts!

Also: The reason TFE isn't just a Vangurd Problem, is... Wolf is making it everyone's problem (and the Vanguard is trying to keep tabs on them) by being Extra Violent. Not to mention that, before Exile, the Red Legion already wasn't having a good time with Wolf. And now it's even worse, so I imagine there are some attempts there to suppress Wolf or. generally get them Out Of The Picture (which fail. horribly) I imagine, during Chosen, there's some Battlegrounds that are straight up interrupted by Wolf, too. But gonna have to flesh that out some more In short: I think the enemies of the City rather preferred it when the Vanguard had some hand in Wolf's business (making Vanguard Pawn taunts seem a bit more fear-filled than they were in canon)

And, there was an ask from Eternal where I said that Crow tells Wolf that Cayde's alive was on the second meeting, but that has since been made big time impossible. So, I want to say that the two are at least somewhat into Friend Territory when Crow complains some about Cayde, since Crow wasn't sure how much of a sore spot he was and didn't want to risk it. Crow does get a message from Cayde through, so Wolf knows for sure that Cayde is alive before the Cayde Short takes place (I KNOW i havent posted it yet please forgive me. someone needs to take this AU away from me) but it still takes a hot minute to get the two in the same room.

My initial view of Caiatl was that she'd have either an "ehhhh" view of Wolf, or have her thing with Calus be in her way. But, actually, I don't think she would. At the end of Lightfall, she was so far over him, and too dedicated to protecting her people to really care about what happened to Calus, as he had every chance to redeem himself and just dug his grave further. But its her view of protecting her people that I think would sway her in favor Wolf. In the future, sometime post-Lightfall, Caiatl's point of view of Wolf is what turns Zavala's mind and he convinces Ikora to agree to unexiling Wolf. Crow, Osiris, and Saint were already arguing in Wolf's favor (though in all their own ways) but Caiatl, who had Saladin and Zavala in her ears about Wolf, decided... I think I put it best in the Chaos Box Doc: If she can see past Calus and his crimes and turn to protect her people; if Saint can see past the Fallen to protect the Eliksni and the City; if Zavala can see past Ghaul and trust her with his own— Then he can see past the Prison and take the risk. also her name means "all may not go as it needs to go"! not really relevant to my point but i feel like she'd say that to Zavala

I think I've landed on Saint's view of Wolf being heavily reliant on his faith in them throughout his life (due to the paradox) and Osiris trusting them. Saint isn't sure of whether or not they're really guilty, but they gave him (and many, many others, in his mind) a second chance, and he feels they deserve it. And if they truly are innocent, then he's got a bone to pick with a Queen's Wrath...

Still don't know what to with The Grave though. I mean, it wouldn't hurt anything for Wolf not to see it. Either that, or have it so there's not a speech? Or just wait until We've figured out how exactly Wolf dies and where the story goes afterwards, and then work on the Grave? Idk man there are way too many things in this AU for me to keep 100% track of--

I know for a fact that I missed alot here, so. Fire me some clarity questions?? Ol' Malphur's on free call too--

#the forsaken exile #orb rambles #destiny 2 #< yeah ik the maintag ppl probably dont wanna see this. but cmon. everyone likes AU lore right?#anyway #no one is safe from the Wolf Problem #including me :(#anyway yeah this is a mess but i had so many thoughts. not my fault #gonna blame uhhh Luna. for The Post #you know how guilty you are luna.#oooh god i didnt cover Cayde either.#or shiro!!! i have an entire timeline set up for Beyond Light! and hes there! but god i dont wanna...#honestly you name a character. ive probably got some of them #could also. recommend some. yk send some ideas over #(like. eris :( i love her. i do. but i dont know what to do with her! help)#people got questions? shoot me point blank with them! i got so much lore i promise

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gutmeats · 2 years

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Sea of People

AO3 Link Fandom: High School Story Prime Pairing: Wes Porter & Simon Klein (M!MC) (GEN) Length: 612 Words Rating: General Audiences (if u ignore the one (1) cuss word) Prompt: an image of a large group of people, many with rainbow flags Summary: Large crowds of people aren't for everyone, even if its an event for gay people and you are a gay people. A/N: for @choicespride. just personally speaking, as someone who gets overwhelmed in crowds. today's prompt image of a crowd is vaguely overwhelming to me. so i wanted to write something that reflected that. also i havent ever written wes before so if he's not in character. whoops. its a 600 word fic idc.

Simon knew he should be enjoying himself, but he was hot, and thirsty, and his binder had never felt as tight as it did now, with sweat suctioning it to his chest. Not to mention the crowds, and with crowds came noise, and noise meant overstimulation, but he didn’t dare turn off his hearing aid just in case he needed it to find the friends he had lost after his band, Kingslayer, finished their set.

It had been nice to be up on stage with his friends, since they all went their separate ways after graduation, but now that the event had lost it’s shine- at least for him, anyway- all Simon felt was tired and overwhelmed.

He staggers through the crowd, almost aimlessly, trying to find his way out, or at least someone he knew, but it felt like trying to swim against a current with concrete shoes on.

“‘Scuse me, Pardon me,” he mutters quietly as he tries his best to fight his way over to where the booths were set up without smacking the daylights out of anyone by accident.

Then someone grabs his hand.

As tired and disoriented as he was, he decides to just let this whoever-it-was tug him through the crowd and to the outskirts of the park the pride event was set up in.

When they stop in the shade of the tree, Simon flops down with a sigh. As he catches his breath, his savior hands him an ice cold bottle of water.

“Oh, thanks…” he rolls the bottle over his forehead for a few seconds, eyes closed. Then he chugs about half the bottle and pours the rest over himself. “Fuck, that feels good.”

His savior laughs and sits next to him, and now that he’s had a moment to calm down, he realizes that it’s--

“Wes!” Simon tosses an arm around him. “I didn’t think you’d be here!”

“Yeah, big crowds like this aren’t really my thing, but Ezra wanted me to see Kingslayer preform. I’m glad I caught you, though. You looked like you were about to pass out.”

“Yeahhh… I was too busy putting away my bass to realize everyone else had scattered until it was too late. Thanks for getting me outta there.”

“It’s nothing.” Wes bumps his shoulder against Simon’s.

They people watch for a few minutes, but it doesn’t take long for Simon’s sweat and water soaked binder to begin to really bother him.

He wiggles in place, trying to tug it away from his body enough to get comfortable.

Wes looks at him. “You doing alright?”

“No! It’s so hot and noisy and my binder feels way too tight!”

“Do you want to get out of here, then? Come back to mine and Ezra’s? We could get dinner and catch up.”

“That sounds nice. Way better than this.”

Wes and Simon grab each other’s hands, both pulling in opposing directions to tug each other up.

“Let me just text Ez and let him know that we’re going. He was planning on staying out later than me, anyway, so he’ll probably catch a ride from one of the others.”

“‘Kay.”

Once Wes’ phone is back in his pocket, he tosses an arm across Simon’s shoulders and leads him back around the crowd and out of the park.

Simon gives one last look over his shoulder and sighs. “I tried to like it, I really did. I just wasn’t expecting it to be so… much.”

Wes laughs quietly. “You don’t have to enjoy big pride events like this just because you’re queer, Simon. You can celebrate just by being yourself.”

“...Yeah.” Simon smiles at him. “That’s way better.”

#gutsfics #high school story prime #prompt fill #choices pride 2022 #choices fanfic #ficlet

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b0ba-chan · 3 years

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gentry of hermatige

zhongli x fem!reader

cw slight spoilers, mentions of blood, soft service dom!zhongli, size kink, cunnilingus, slight teasing, over stimulation, fat dick zhongli, unprotected sex, reader passes out, mating press, reader is an adventurer, i also dont know how housing works in genshin so the funeral parlor is homing for employees too

after the passing of the archon morax and the defeat of osial, liyue has never been more busy than before. the lantern rite has made your workload almost triple, running to do additional commisions given out by the guild. you always end up coming back to your home city all haggard and beaten up.

you trudge the trail back, yawning as you go to sit on the edge of the cliff to look over the harbor. taking a break, you rest your sore legs while humming the soft tune you heard a street preformer sing. a glaze lily starts to bloom as the sun sets in the horizon, blooming in your face while shining a vibrant icy blue. by plucking it off its stem, the sweet scent swarms your nose as you are reminded of the scent of the man you see around the wangsheng funeral parlor.

he tends to have a sophisticated aura around him while standing with respectable posture, knowing almost everying that has happened in liyues history. you had done some of his commissions, but he did follow along each time.

zhongli joined you while you did his errands, seemingly odd as he is paying you for something he can easily do on his own. but every time he was around you, he told extravagant stories about the history of liyue and how it came to be. it left you hanging onto every word he says that now, you try and visit whenever you can to see him at the parlor. and whenever you seem like you were going to be a bother, he was already waiting for you with a second cup of tea.

you stare at the flower in hand before wincing at the feeling of sharp pain running up your arm. the bandage wrapping your arm was soaked red which signals that you should go back to the pharmacy and get checked up.

your tired legs drag you back to walking the trail, making way to your destination. but before you can tell where you were heading, you open the front door of the parlor. his eyes were already looking at you, though a client was standing befor him while talking business. you tiredly smile and wave at him, flower still clutched in your hand.

“excuse me,” zhongli politely waves off the client, telling him that he is off work for the day to tend to your needs. before he says anything, he reaches a hand up to your red cheek with a look of concern plastered on his face. his hand lifts your wounded arm to take a look before leading you up the stairwell to his respective room.

once the door closes behind the two of you, it hits that you realize that you have only been his office but never his room. the room glowed a warm amber from the many lanterns that lit up the area.

“little miss, you must be more careful with yourself. the bubu pharmacy would have been a better location to visit than me,” zhongli sighs and sits you down on the cushioned seat. he takes out whatever material he has to clean and heal you up.

your face turns red as he uses his teeth to pull each at the glove off of each finger, gently folding to place them on the table. zhongli removes his coat and hangs it up before taking a seat next to you. his slender fingers undo the wrapping on your arm and gently wipe down your wound. you were too focused on how close he was to you.

you didn’t realize how hard you were chewing on your bottom lip until a metallic taste dribbled onto your taste buds. zhongli looks up after finishing his wrap and watching you touch your bloody lip.

“i barely told you two minutes ago to be careful with yourself,” he huffs out a breathy laugh and places his clean hand on your cheek, thumbing away the blood. it was suffocating how dense his aura is, feeling as if he was going to swallow you whole right there.

“why not take a bath, refreshen a bit. don’t mind if you get the bandage wet, i can always replace it.” his hand comes to rest on the top of your head. you blush and nod, accepting the extra clothing he hands over to you as he ushers you to the bath.

he lets you have your time alone to wash up, letting the hot steam seap beneath your skin. you havent felt a comfort of a bath in what felt like ages. though you have hopped in some clean springs to wash up whatever you could, the warmth of an indoor bath never felt better.

you clear your mind over how flustered you were earlier, it wasn’t like you to act this way around zhongli. he always felt more like a good friend you could just sit around with for a while, but now you felt as if there was tension between the two of you. maybe you were just overreacting and he’s just being kind.

you sigh and hop out of the bath, drying yourself off with the towel he had provided you. after completely dry off, you slip on the loose fitting clothes he had offer you. you find him still sitting at the table, this time with two cups of tea.

“thank you, for taking me in.” you take a seat and smile at him, cheeks still red from the steaming bathroom, and possibly from how he made you blush earlier. zhongli nods and takes a sip from his tea, enjoying the comfortable silence. you didnt realize his eyes were on you while you sipped your tea.

“why is it that, once you finally get a break, instead of taking a rest, you come to me.”

the question took you by shock and if you weren’t speechless then, you definitely are now. turn to look at him and his eyes bore into yours, and they started to look like they were glittering gold, brighter than his usual self.

“i- i don’t know, i’m sorry.” you stutter as you advert your gaze away from him, shying away from his intense stare.

“there is no matter in apologizing, i am simply curious to why you enjoy my presence,” zhongli gently pinches your chin between his index and thumb to force you to look him in the eye, “though i may know why you come to me now.”

it happened so fast - zhongli’s lips were against yours leading you. it was so gentle yet firm, making sure you know he was in charge. you felt almost breathless the way he kisses you; his fingers were still holding your chin while his other hand holds onto your thigh, squeezing the flesh gently. he suckles on your tongue, peaking his eye open a little to see you dazed and flustered.

a trail of spit connects your tongues as he pulls away, retracting his hands as he prepares to apologize. your hands grab his wrists and whine, trying to tug him back.

“don’t go, please. i need more.” you whine, letting your guard down as his eyes grow softer. you were in such a needy state and had made all this way just to join him. so it didn’t take much convincing for him to lift you up and take you to his bed.

you have spent nights camping out, having no time to go back home and rest up. when coming in contact with the silk sheets has you melting in the soft comfort. not only were the sheets were bringing you comfort, but zhongli’s lips could rival the softness of the bed.

he kisses down the column of your neck, nibbling the skin to draw out your pitiful whines. your arms loop around his neck to keep him close, not wanting for you to leave you cold and alone in the bed, but it was evident that he wasn’t going to be leaving any time soon. and there was that familiar scent again; glaze lillies and the hint of silk flowers made it all more comforting.

“is this alright?” zhongli fumbles a bit with your clothes, only to continue when you nod in confirmation. he undoes your clothing, taking every piece off gently as he knew you were still injured. his kisses were placed intricately onnyour skin, making sure to place more gentle kisses on your injuries. you felt rather embarrassed, being the only one half naked, pushing his shoulder gently.

“speak up, you have to tell me what you want.” he pulls away, taking place between your thighs and massaging the soft flesh under his bare hands. your hands reach out to grab at his tie, tugging on the fabric.

“please take it off, please. this is embarrassing.” you whine as your face flush a brighter red. he laughs a bit and undoes his tie, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt.

“you just had to say so, darling. besides, i would not say no to you.” he shrugs off the rest of his clothing, undoing his pants right in front of you. you stare at his chest, a gold tattoo in a geometric pattern was centered on his sternum. it was as if your hand had a mind of it’s own, coming to touch the somewhat glowing decal. he was warm under your hand, heartbeat thumping normally compared to your own anxious heart. his hand comes to rest on top of yours, pressing it closer to his chest.

“i will explain more on a later date, i know you do enjoy my stories. for now let me take care of you.” his fingers intertwine with yours as he leans down to kiss your inner wrist where your pulse is felt against his lips. you nod, preferring to wait for the story on a later time, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him close.

your feet kick up when you feel his clothed cock presses against you. you can already tell that he was thick as he grinded up against you, drawling out sweet whines out of your mouth. he trail soft kisses down your neck, kissing between your breast and palming them in his hands. his mouth was then met with the heat kf your clothed cunt. though you were separated by your panties, you could feel his hot breath fanning against you.

zhongli looks up at you, silently asking for permission and once you nod, he slips off the panties. tossing it to the side, he hooks your knees over his shoulders and runs his tongue through your folds gently. your eyes widen and your hands were immediately clutching at his hair.

he hums as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves. you were already bucking your hips against his mouth, moaning uncontrollably. his hand comes to your mouth and slips his middle and ring finger into your mouth. you moan and suck on them immediately, one hand freeing his hair to grip his wrist.

he pulls away and spits on your cunt, as if you were soaking the bed underneath you already. the hot liquid melds with your slick, running down your cunt. he takes his fingers out of your mouth, a trail of spit connecting your lips to the tips of your fingers. cooing at your embarrassment, he slides a wet finger into your cunt.

“a-ah.” you stutter out, gripping the pillows behind you.

“alright, do we need to slow down?” he rubs your thigh lightly, goosebumps growing on your skin under his palm. you shake your head and grind down against his hand to urge him to continue.

he kisses your clit as he continues to tease you with only one finger, trying not to laugh when you whine. you couldn’t even voice out your needs, only squirming under him.

once he finally slides the second finger, it already felt like perfection. he had his lips still attached to your pulsing nub as he scissored you open, curling his fingers a bit and holding your hips down with a firm hand when you get to squirmy. the familiar tight knot was already forming in your core, gummy walls clamping around his fingers as you try your best to grind your clit on his tongue.

he watches with hooded eyes as you ride out your orgasm, even pushing you past the brink to draw tears of pleasure out of your glossy eyes. only when you start to nudge him off he pulls away, looking down at you flustered body and heaving chest as you try and catch your breath.

your eyes wander down his chest as you try to catch your breath, seeing the noticable buldge through his boxers.

“don’t need to worry about me, darling. this is enou-.” before he can finish his sentence you weakly tug at the hem of his boxers, whining.

“no, need you too, please.” you plea, pushing down the clothing. his hard cock slaps his thigh, hanging heavy and hard from watching you lose yourself on his tongue. he doesn't flinch, but you do; you were shocked by his sheer size. you blush and look away when you catch yourself staring, whining when you hear his low chuckle.

“you wanted this, now don’t look away.” zhongli grabs your face to force you to make eye contact with him. he smiles in satisfaction, releasing your cheeks from his grips so you can watch him grab the base of his dick with the same hand. it was obvious that he was bigger than others, thicker than average, but when he slaps his cock gently against your sensitive cunt, it made it all more obvious.

“this little cunt of yours, so small. will you be good and take all of me?” zhongli leans in to whisper in your ear. shivers run down your spine as you whine out a small yes, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer.

he laughs a bit and positions himself, letting his top nudge at your hole. your breath hitches as he pushes past the first ring of muscle, going tense from the uncomfortable stretch. zhongli knows his size, pausing every once in a while.

he does, however, enjoy how cute you get when he wont hurry up. he sometimes hold his positions for you to adjust because he says he knows what you need. but once he bottoms out, you felt the air knock out of you. your vision goes white as you convulsed under him, thighs tightening around his waist.

zhongli coos as drool dribbles out of your mouth, feeling your walls barely clamp around him. his hand gently pats your cheek, squishing them to shake your limp head. he starts to roll his hips, watching you squirm.

“thats it, good morning, dear.” he smirks as you blink your eyes open. he was trying to hide the fact that he was proud that he made you pass out on him because of his sheer size, but it was evident on his face. you gasp as his tip kisses your cervix, grabbing his shoulder to find some stability.

his thrusts were smooth and slow, letting you adjust to him. but you start begging for more and more, only making him follow your needs. from soft to brutal, his hips were bruising up your thighs with every thrust. you were rendered speechless under him, only squealing when he pushes your knees up, folding you into a mating press.

“sh-shoo deep! t-too deep!” you cry put, clinging to the pillows as he ignores your pleas. he grunts as his bangs cling to his sweaty forehead. your eyes cross and toes curl as hes reaching farther than before.

you couldn’t tell if it was your imagination but you saw a faint golden glow coming from the tip of zhongli’s hair. but it wasn’t the time to think about the cause of light, only having the brain power to go dumb on his cock.

“doesn’t seem like you’re complaining anymore. good girl, i know what yok need.” zhongli growls animalistically, causing you to clamp on him tighter. you squeal and cum once again, squeezing to urge him to cummin you. he groans at the tightening feeling as he releases into you. he continues to thrust to ride out each other’s orgasm, mainly focusing on you. each thrust, more of his cum overflows out of you, making an absolute mess out of each other and the sheets.

you two are panting to the same rhythm, holding onto each other as if it was the the last time you two would see each other. he nudges his nose against yours, pressing a soft kissagainst your lips. you barely could kiss back, letting him do whatever he wanted. he pulls out out of your puffy cunny, flipping over onto his back to hold you to his chest.

“maybe it was the best idea to visit me instead of the pharmacy, my cure seems to be better than anything baizhu could come up with.” zhongli laughs a bit, grabbing your wrist before you could playfully slap his chest. he holds you close for a while, hair still glowing but dimming down as the mood dies down.

“zhongli wha-.”

“how about i explain this all while we take another bath. this slimy feeling is bringing back horrid memories, lets wash up.”

#boba!post #boba!gi #boba!zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli

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keigosphatcock · 4 years

Text

Kitten

Pairing: Erwin x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.3k lmao

Genre: SMUT (pls do not read if ur a baby)

Warnings: Uhh degradation, kinda exhibitionism, Erwin being a mf dom, dirty talk, daddy kink, masochism/sadism, spanking (but not on the ass), biting

Author: Izzy (*¯︶¯*)

Plot: Basically Erwin is just jealous lmao

A/N: PLEASE I WROTE THIS IN AN HOUR IN A HORNY FIT ITS RUSHED AND ITS A MESS BUT HAVE FUN

You were nervous, your heart pumping as the cadet led you to Erwin’s office.Why did he have to send for you in front of your squad? When there were already countless rumors circulating about your relationship with the commander that he was aware of.

“Good luck, captain,” The cadet bowed before leaving you standing in front of the door, heart racing and head pounding - who the hell did he think he was? Feeding into all these rumors like this, God, for his sake you wished it was important.

The metal of the door knob was cool in your hand and you didn’t bother to knock as you walked straight into his office, “Commander.” Your voice was stern, face stoic as you watched him continue with his paperwork on the desk.

You couldn’t help but watch his concentrated face, the curve of his eyebrows and the subtle movements of his muscles under his button up shirt that came with the slight movements of his writing.

A sigh left his perfect lips, “You didn’t knock, captain.” Erwin didn’t look up at you, only spoke as a way to acknowledge your presence in his office.

“I’ll remember it for next time, commander.” You were calm, well you tried to be, but you were still pissed at him for his abrupt command for you to meet him.

He looked up at you, his eyes flashing as he noticed your stoney expression, “Don’t disrespect me, even if you’re pissy, captain.” He said the words calmly, yet rose from his desk and his serious facade dropped for a second as anger briefly flashed across his features.

You swallowed thickly, realising perhaps he was more angry than you, and he was going to take it out on you. “Yes sir.” Your posture stiffened slightly, watching him make eye contact with you fully.

Erwin looked at you momentarily, not speaking as he studied your expression, his own decaying into one of slight anger as each second passed.

“Why did you-”

“You know why.” He said the phrase sternly as he cut you off, yet with restraint as if he was trying not to spit the words.

You cocked an eyebrow, “I’m sorry sir, but I believe I don’t.” You tapped your foot lightly against the wood, your arms crossed against your chest as you watched him lean on his desk, his hands splaying across the polished surface as he stared at your expression harder.

“Come here, kitten.” Erwin’s voice was stern, the glint in his eyes changing slightly and you swallowed at it, your own attitude melting away as he spoke the nickname.

“Yes sir,” You responded less confidently than before.

Erwin sat back in his chair, gesturing for you to come closer, your heartbeat thumping harder in your chest as you took another daunting step towards where he was sitting. “Sit.” He commanded you, waving slightly to his lap, his eyes boring into your flushed expression.

A rush of excitement burst through you, pushing any ounce of attitude you had before to the corners of your mind as you obediently sat gently in his lap. His hard body was always a comfort against your own, the feeling of his broad chest against your back and his warm breath in your ear had you forgetting your own name - not to mention the way his hands sat dangerously close to your thighs.

“Kitten,” His voice was hot on your neck, his hands gripping your thighs tightly as he whispered the name into your skin, “I thought we agreed you were off limits to anyone else.”

“I-I- havent been-”

Erwin’s hand cut you off, his grip leaving your thigh to cup your already wet pussy. His hand held your heat tightly, despite your pants being in the way, he would know that you were soaking just from that.

“Are you sure?” His hand tightened against your sopping heat, his lips brushing your ear as he held you tightly against him, “Because according to Captain Levi, you’ve been more of a whore than you usually are.”

“I-I don’t understand sir,” Your words barely came out, you were too focused on not trying to moan or grind against his hand.

“Quit it with the sir charade, we both know what you’d rather call me, “Erwin growled in your ear, his grip hardening against your pussy.

“Sorry, daddy,” You whimpered, your lip tugging between your teeth as you tried to control your raging arousal.

“I suppose I’ll let you off the hook this time,” Erwin spoke, yet his hand let go of your pussy, only to come straight back, slapping your sensitive heat through the thick fabric of your pants. A whimper escaped your lips, your body tensing as you desperately tried not to moan as the pain mixed with the pleasure of what he’d just done. “But a dirty fucking whore like you needs to be punished, especially for flirting with other captains without my permission.”

“I wasn’t-”

“I don’t want to fucking hear it, kitten,” His voice was angry, a growl in your ear as he pushed his boner into the small of your back, “You’re such a slut you’re making daddy punish you at work, but I suppose that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? For me to fuck you senseless in my office and claim your pussy as mine in such a risky place.” Erwin chuckled slightly, his other hand coming up to rest at your neck, “I bet you’re hoping for Levi to walk in, so he can see how much of a fucking cum slut you are? Watch your face as I fuck you so hard against my desk, huh? Is that what you want?”

You bit your lip, your body tensing as you felt Erwin’s hand squeeze your neck gently, “Daddy, you know I’m yours.”

“But does Levi? I’ll have to prove it, I’ll have to claim you right here and now, kitten. I can’t let other people think they have free reign on my cum dumpster.” His hand squeezed your neck again, harder and longer, enough that you could feel slightly light headed and it only fuelled your arousal, his words and grip already leaving you a senseless mess.

“Bend over my desk, kitten.” Erwin let go of you, leaving you with a slight disappointment at the lack of pressure on your burning heat. Yet you did as he said, unbuttoning your pants, yet Erwin pulled them down, his hands rough as he shoved you onto the polished wood of his desk.

“Too slow, kitten.” His voice was a growl and you felt his bulge brush your thighs, his eyes gleaming as they took in your defenceless form. “Stay still, or I might have to punish you harder, baby girl.” You could hear the metallic clink of his belt unbuckling, yet you didnt have time to process before he had your hands pinned behind your back and the leather tightening around them in restraint.

Erwin smirked at your restrained arms, one of his hands grabbing your ass roughly as he watched you helplessly splayed out in front of him. “What a fucking good little whore you are…”

You whimpered slightly, your cheek pressed against his desk, completely at his mercy as you waited for any sort of pleasure, “Daddy-” “Hush kitten, I only want to hear you screaming my name.” Erwin didn’t give you time to process what was happening as he pulled down your panties with one hand and landed a harsh spank to your ass with the other.

Your body tensed and you bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning loudly, your eyes screwed shut and you hoped that no one was walking outside of the office.

“Did you lock the door, kitten?” Erwin smirked as he saw your eyes widen, “Then I suppose we better gag that beautiful mouth of yours to stop people from hearing.” His fingers hooked in the delicate cotton of your panties before ripping them off your legs, smirking at the red marks the fabric left on your legs.

“Erwin-”

“It’s daddy or commander to you sweetheart.” He growled in your ear before shoving the panties in your mouth. Arousal and shock was all you could feel as the taste of your own wetness hit your tongue, you blushed, slightly embarrassed at the gesture yet the degradation of it only fuelled you as you felt your own heat drip down your inner thigh.

Erwin seemed to notice it as well, his hands cupping your ass as he bent down, bringing his face close to your sopping pussy. “Well it’d be a waste if I didn’t taste my meal before completely ruining it.” His breath fanned over your pussy, yet his lips never quite reached it, instead he placed small kisses along your inner thigh, getting tantalisingly close but never quite there.

You twitched slightly, frustrated at his teasing yet the way he suddenly sunk his teeth into your skin had you glad he shoved your panties in your mouth. Erwin smirked as he heard your muffled moan, his lips coming in to suck hickeys across your thighs. “I would usually agree that a pretty pussy like yours needs to be savored, but when you realise how much of a cum slut you really are, I guess its best not to play with my food when you barely deserve it in the first place.” Erwin smirked as he backed away from your weeping pussy, his hands leaving your ass and thighs to sit on his pants, which he was quick to undo.

“I do have a meeting in about 15 minutes, so I suppose I better be quick with you, kitten.” You felt his hardened cock rub between your thighs as he lent over and you moaned into the cotton stuffed inside your mouth, “You know I’ll just have to finish you off later tonight, really give you a drawn out punishment for what you’ve done.”

Erwin didn’t give you warning or time to adjust as he sunk himself balls deep into you. He growled, the sound primal and from the back of his throat as he pulled back and slammed himself into you again. You felt full, stretched and pushed to the brink as his cock filled you up. Erwin was bigger than anything you’d taken before - the first time he fucked you made you feel like a virgin again, yet you could take it. You were made for it the way he filled you up so perfectly, his cock rubbing the spot that had you biting hard down on your panties.

“Fuck kitten, you seem to just get tighter and tighter,” He groaned slightly, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises as he plowed into you, his hips slamming into yours roughly and quickly.

Erwin didn’t hold back, his hands pulling you back onto his cock while his hips smashed into yours relentlessly. You felt your clit throb and you knew with how worked up he had you he didn’t even need to touch it to have you finish on his cock.

“Fuck kitten-” He moaned slightly, his thrusts speeding up as you felt him harden inside of you, one hand letting go of your hip to slap the front of your pussy.

The action made you cry out, the sound muffled by the panties in your mouth but still loud enough for Erwin to hear, for him to be encouraged to do it again because he knew just how much pain mixed with pleasure for you.

You felt the belt dig into your back as your arms pushed against your back for some sort of stability, Erwin grabbed your pussy with one hand your wrists with the other as he pushed you into the desk harder and pounded you further towards your release.

Your back arched involuntarily and you felt that bubble build up inside of you and Erwin getting close to popping it and sending you into the blissful abyss of your orgasm. The wood of the desk dug into your hips but the pain only made everything feel better, his fingers digging into your sensitive heat, the leather of the belt chaffing against your wrists, it all pushed you closer to that inevitable feeling of release.

And you could tell Erwin was close as well, his breathing was getting heavier, but his thrusts never got sloppier, he only went harder and more precise, he was focused on pushing you to your breaking point.

Which he did, you barely realised it before he landed a particularly hard thrust that had you tumbling towards your release. Your body was flooded with the pleasure pounding from your heat and Erwin groaned as he felt you clench around him from your orgasm, yet he didn’t let up his thrusts. He continued to pound you through it, his fingers digging tighter into your pussy as he held you firmer for him to fuck.

Until he had his own release spill into you, his thrusts stopping as he buried himself deep into your weeping pussy, a moan of your name falling off his lips as he spilt himself into you.

He stayed there like that for a second, his cock buried deep inside of you and letting himself recover from his own orgasm, letting a ring of white cum form at the base of cock as he filled you up with his own pleasure.

Erwin pulled out eventually, groaning slightly as he saw the white, hot seed that threatened to drip out of your wrecked pussy. He sighed gently, untying your wrists of his belt and pulling your panties out of your mouth.

“Fuck Erwin…” You moaned gently, pulling yourself up and letting your legs shake gently from the pleasure he had just given you.

His eyes flicked to you momentarily, his fingers tucking the ripped cotton of your panties into the drawer of his desk, “Remember kitten, no one can fuck you as good as that.”

___________________

thank u for reading have a nice day uwu and if u can leave a like and reblog (〃＾▽＾〃)

#aot #attack on titan #erwin smith #erwin x reader #erwin smut #aot smut #attack on titan smut #anime #anime smut #erwin smith smut #erwin smith x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #anime x reader #anime fanfic #erwin fanfic #aot fanfic #attack on titan fanfic

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darthspideys · 4 years

Text

antithesis // one

din djarin x jedi! reader

summary: You expected to find another of yoda’s species, much less under the protection of a particularly stubborn mandalorian. Little do you know its that discovery that will change life as you know it, and put all three of you in danger you never saw coming.

words: ~2k

a/n: I really can’t believe that I'm finally posting this! I started this story more than a month ago, and I have been editing it and editing and editing which is not something that I normally do. I love this story, and I love this reader, and this story represents so much for me in terms of improving on my writing. Anyways welcome to the ride, hope you have fun :)

disclaimer: I h8 baby yoda and it shows

Disturbances in the force are easy enough to sense now. In the age of the empire, with Inquisitors, Darth Vader and The Emperor himself running around there was nothing but disturbance, a constant feeling of dread for those on the side of the light like any one of those sith could appear from around the next corner. Four years after the fall of the empire, things are calmer. It seems that the force is in balance, now that the emperor is dead though you know that since there are two jedi there have to be two sith somewhere else in the galaxy.

There’s always the threat of some other powerful sith making its way out from the shadows, finally deciding to finish what Palpatine started. So when Luke senses a disturbance in the force on Tatooine, something slicing through the calm waves of power, the two of you are a little bit nervous about what that could be. You feel it too, once he mentions it, it’s so easy for you to brush past those kinds of feelings because you're so used to them. However when you focus in, you feel it too, something is off.

You look back at Luke, who is staring down at his feet, not at the holo projector in front of the two of you and realize that whatever is happening on Tatooine isn’t the only thing that's off. You sense the uncertainty that he feels, and it confuses you, because it's not like the two of you havent been through this before. You tilt your head to the side, “Is there something I’m not seeing?” He doesn’t respond right away, “You seem uncertain.”

“I’m not-” He doesn’t know what to say, “It’s not about this exactly.”

You put your hand on his arm trying to pull him away from his thoughts, “Then what is it about?”

He turns to you, and you suddenly realize how close the two of you are. He leans in, whatever it is he wants to say, he doesn’t want anyone else to hear it if they happen to walk in. Not that there’s a high chance of anyone disturbing you, most of the senators are afraid if you to say the least. As it turns out the fact that the Jedi had been absent from the galaxy for the entirety of the empire turned them into more myth than truth. People assumed it had all been somewhat of a legend, that people with glowing light swords and all that power couldn’t have possibly existed. Therefore seeing the two of you glowing light swords and all in the senate building almost everyday made people a little uncomfortable.

He leans in, “I’m from Tatooine.”

“I’m aware,” You say, a small smile beginning to form on your face. You think he’s setting up a kind of joke, and that he’s been messing with you this entire time.

“I haven’t been back since my parents were killed.”

You nod. He looks sadly at the floor, and you can feel the emotion coming off of him in jagged waves of hurt and a longing of some sort. You don’t ask, because he knows that you can sense it. “I’ll go, okay?”

“Thank you.”

You’re still standing there when Leia appears in the doorway, arms crossed. When he sees her, Luke says good luck to you and walks out of the room. Leia saunters down the stairs and stands in front of you with her arms crossed again. The only thing you can think is that she definitely has the disappointed mother look down pat.

She asks, “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“What I just saw between the two of you.”

“There was nothing, less than nothing. He wants me to go to the desert, what you just witnessed was a punishment.”

She makes a face, “That is bad.” Then she pauses, “Don’t think that I don’t know what’s going on with you.”

“Nothing is going on with me, not a single thing. I just hang out here or I’m going to some random planet to make sure nothing untoward is happening, and sometimes I pull out my laser sword and use it to cut down trees or something. That is my life, nothing is going on.”

She doesn’t believe you and you can tell. You wish she wouldn’t look at you like that, you wish that no one knew about it. “Other than the fact that you're in love with my brother, of course,” She’s laughing at you which makes the whole thing worse somehow.

“We are not talking about that,” Your voice gets way higher than you mean it too. You cough and try to lower it, “We are never talking about that because I have to go to Tatooine.” And with that you walk out of the room ceremoniously leaving Leia to just shake her head.

Tatooine is just as terrible as you thought it would be. As soon as you get off your ship, your feet sink down into the sand which sends a chill through your body. It’s the kind of place where you can’t quite get your footing, because the wind is always blowing more sand around everything is always shifting. That and it’s unbearably hot, which is not helped by the sand. It seems to reflect the sun and make it even hotter. You hate it, and you wonder if Luke really meant what he said or if he just hates it here too.

You give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s him, and the two of you have been through enough for you to assume that he did have a good reason for sending you here alone. You have no idea what that reason could possibly be, but you know it’s something. Ahead of you, you see what you think is a structure sticking out of a nearby cave. You walk forward and sink into the sand as you do, feeling lucky that you were born on a farm.

As you get closer you see that it is a small structure built into the side of a cave so that it’s bigger. Right when you’re close enough to be seen, the hair on the back of your neck stands straight up and you duck as fast as you can. As soon as you're on the ground, a blaster bolt flies right over your head and you sigh. Whatever this is, there’s something guarding it that does not want to be found. You roll your eyes and try to get to a better position all while spitting sand out of your mouth. This is not going to be as easy as you thought it was.

Instead of getting back onto your feet you roll to the side where there’s a large rock sticking out of the ground and get behind it. In hindsight, you shouldn’t have been right out into the open when you didn’t know what was ahead of you. Luke would have reminded you of that, if only he were here.

Before you can finish your thought, a Mandalorian in full armor walks out of the structure and stands at the entrance with a blaster clutched in his hand. “Holy shit,” That shakes you to your core, you thought they were all gone or at least most of them. You duck down behind the rock again, trying not to make a sound. Suddenly you can’t catch your breath and you're panicking not because you're afraid but because of something else. More so than when you first got here, you regret coming and you regret coming alone.

You climb to the top of the rock and try to peek over again. Normally there would be some kind of strategy involved but you’ve decided that you're just gonna show off a little bit and see what sticks. You jump on top of the rock, which is up higher than you realized and he starts shooting as soon as he sees you.

You duck every shot and jump off the rock which lands you a few feet away from him. He takes a shot right at the head, and you stop it midair which is part of the showing off strategy. That surprises him, which you expected, the whole blaster bolt hanging in the air is quite something. You let it hang for a minute and then move a few inches to the right and let it go so it crashes into the rock.

“Hello there,” You say and give a little wave.

He lunges at you this time, dropping his blaster to the side once he realizes that it’s probably useless. Oh he wants to go hand to hand, you think and it makes you smile. He comes at you with a flurry of easily dodge-able kicks and punches to which you respond by coming back just as hard with your own. You push him back farther and father, not letting up so that he doesn't even have time to think that he could beat you. Soon enough you have him on the ground pinned using the force mostly but a bit of your own body weight. You blow straight hair out of your face and say, “That was fun, now you have something that I need.”

And as if on cue a small green thing walks out of the opening and stands at your feet. “Holy fuck,” Your eyes widen as you realize that thing looks a lot like Yoda. You can feel it immediately, he is what you're looking for. “You have a little baby-“

He takes advantage of the fact that you're distracted and flips you over onto the ground so that he’s the one with the advantage. You curse again, your voice low, because it hurt when you hit the ground, badly enough that you can’t get back up. He looks at you and sighs before grabbing onto your leg and pulling you through the sand and into the hut. “So you're just gonna pull me? You're just gonna pull me through the sand through the disgusting sand, sir-“ when you hit hard ground and your head bounces up, “And now you're gonna drag me against rocks? Little inhumane don’t you think?”

You can tell he’s glaring at you, even with the helmet as he drops your legs to the ground dramatically. The child stands at his feet watching the entire thing, “How did you find me?”

“I don’t know if you know this, but that thing-“ Your eyes are fixed on the child, “Is a beacon to anyone who can use the force.”

“The what?”

You roll your eyes, “Why does that not surprise me?” He’s genuinely confused, and you can tell, though it's not going to stop you from pushing his buttons as much as you can.“I could explain, if you would just let me up-“ You try and sit up, but he points another blaster in your face. “Or not.” You raise your arms over your head, but he doesn’t seem like he’s getting the message. “Yeah okay this has been fun and all but-“ With one move of your finger the blaster flies out of his hand and against the wall the sound echoing throughout the cave. You take advantage of his confusion, and get to your feet, even though you're a little shaky and there’s a lot of sand in your hair.

You pull your lightsaber out of its holster, surprised that he hasn’t noticed it there. You light it and hold it right at his throat. His beskar armor can repel lightsaber strikes, you know that but you're not sure he does, or at the very least the throat is open enough for you to kill him if need be. He steps back and raises his own arms in surrender, understanding that he’s beat for the most part. The blade glows bright green, reflecting off his armor barely, and you smile, “We’re gonna play nice now, okay?”

He realizes something, “Jedi.”

#din djarin x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfic #the mandalorian imagine #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin fanfic #din djarin imagine #anithesis series #din djarin x you #din djarin x y/n #hey hellow if this flops I will cry just warning you

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killthe-illusionarydreams · 4 years

Text

Chronic Emptiness

Fred x reader

After the war

Summary: Y/N having a depressive episode & Fred trying to help her through it. Basically me living vicariously through her. Soft moment.

Warning: Mentions of depression & plainly feeling like shit

——————

Y/N was exhausted. Not by her job or work, just mentally drained. This sort of thing happened sometimes. One moment she was okay, the next it all came crashing down on her & she’d feel pure hatred for the world she was living in. Fred had gotten used to it by now, he’d be the ever so caring boyfriend & try to help her through it however he could. Exept he really couldnt do much but reassure Y/N that he was there for her.

And of course Y/N appreciated him & all his efforts, she loved Fred more than life itself & everyone knew that. But sometimes she just needed space. Like today.

They were at a bar with George & Angelina and several other mates after their shifts had all ended from their various occupations. George & Fred at their joke shop, Angelia at the Ministry, Y/N at St Mungos.

Y/N never truly felt like she belonged, not growing up at home, not at Hogwarts, & certainly not in St Mungos where she was working as a nurse. Its not that she hated the job, more like it didn’t particularly cause her immediate joy. She just did it. She got on with it & did what she had to.

As her friends were dancing to the music Y/N leant into her boyfriends ear so he’d hear her say “Hey Fred I think I’m gonna head home early today, I’m tired.”

The man looked up at her, as if trying to read her thoughts “D’you want me to come with love?”

Y/N shook her head, declining the offer “No dont worry. I’ll go through the park, I need some fresh air anyway.” Fred nodded & bid her goodbye with a kiss, telling her to stay safe. “I’ll see you at home.”

It was already dark outside, the tall streetlamps being the main source of light for the woman, but she wasnt really paying attention to where she way going, not caring enough to look. Y/N got to the park near the flat where her & Fred lived, deciding to make a pitstop there she sat on one of the wooden benches that overlooked a small river.

Letting out a heavy sigh she put her head into the palms of her hands, it was feeling all too heavy lately. “Dear Merlin I’m so tired.” Mumbling, the woman rolled her head in her hands before sitting back up and gazing at the sky. Oh how beautiful it looked tonight.

Lighting up a cigarette, she put it to her lips & took a long inhale. She was supposed to be quitting smoking, Fred always got on her about continuing the habbit. In all honesty Y/N didnt care enough to stop, at this point she wasnt even sure if she still got the same boost of seratonin from smoking as she used to. But again, it didnt bother her.

“Fuck me why is life so draining?” She asked no one in particular, she knew why it was draining, the abundance of issues with her brain promptly being the answer. She just wished it were easier. Easier to deal with things.

Realistically Y/N had nothing to be unhappy about anymore, there was no war, she had a good life, an amazing boyfriend, a stable job, decent friends. But there was a permanent void in her heart that could never be filled. Ever since she was a child it stayed with her. Maybe her cold & harsh, unloving parents brought it on, or maybe how she didnt let herself feel love & would distance herself from anyone that ever got close to her. But it was there. Unmovable.

The woman let the smoke out from her mouth, sighing at why she was having another one of her episodes, feeling shitty about having said episode. Yet, there was nothing she could do to stop it from occuring. “Fuck off brain.” She mumbled to herself, cursing her biology & upbringing “Stop feeling so Shit.”

“I keep you alive you ungrateful idiot.” She huffed to herself “And I’m doing a pretty good job, so stop making me feel like its my fault.” It wasnt her fault. If it were, Y/N would know how to fix it & evidently stop feeing this way.

Some would say the war brought this Y/N on, but people knew that she was like this way before. However, before she was better at hiding it. Better at hiding the dark circles, the restlessness, the ‘I dont care what happens to me’ attitude. In all honesty it didnt bother Y/N that people knew she was like this, she didnt do it on purpose. And when she could- she’d be happy- the life of the party, in those instances she could hide her feelings. But sometimes they just got too overwhelming to bare.

“You’re being such a selfish prick.” She sighed and puffed on yet another cigarette “Go home Y/N. Go to the man who loves you.” Yet she made no motion to move. It’d probably been two hours since she left the bar, she wasnt keeping track of time, not feeling the need to.

Sometimes she thought that Fred didnt love her, not because he said something or did something, but because she thought that Fred puts up with her. Which wasn’t true, the man loved her to death, she made him feel alive. Y/N was a risk taker, an adventurer, someone that kept you on your toes- & he admired that about her. Y/N was smart & funny & the most gorgeous person Fred had ever seen, but he knew that behind her sarcasm & faux narcissistic comments, she didnt believe it. Oh what he’d give for the woman to see herself through his eyes.

A few more minutes passed & the woman got up with a sigh, throwing the butt of her cigarette down, she made her way home.

The door creaked open, a little too loudly for Y/N’s taste, she winced at the sound, hoping it wouldnt wake Fred.

“Where were you?” The light flicked on. Before her stood a dischevelled Fred, arms crossed “I got home and you werent here.”

“I was in the park.” She mumbled, taking her coat off “Lost track of time, sorry.”

Fred looked at the woman before him, he noticed the dark circles that she tried to cover prefousley with makeup, noticed the ash on her jacket and faint aroma of smoke mixed with sadness.

“Its fine.” He reassured her and went to hug her, pretending to not notice her cold body & how she stiffened when he touched her “Just let me know next time alright?”

The woman hummed in agreement and walked into the living room, as she sat on the couch she put the tv on to play some sort of muggle program but not really paying attention to it. She just didnt fancy Fred interrogating her about her feelings. She hated talking about them, normally just botteling them up. Maybe that was the cause of her unhappiness.

A few moments went by & she thought Fred had went to bed, but then she felt the couch sink next to her. “Here” he placed a blanket around her & handed her a hot mug of tea “You’re freezing.” Mumbling a thanks she sipped on her drink, not really feeling like talking she waited for him to say something, anything.

And he did “Is it getting bad again?” Oh. Was it? Probably. Most definitely.

“I’m fine.” She lied “I’ll be fine.” Y/N wasnt convincing anyone.

Fred watched her, not knowing what to say or do. He wished he could help, just magically cheer up the love of his life. But thats not how life worked. “You’re good enough.” He blurted out “You deserve to feel happy.”

Y/N didnt look up at him, she knew Fred was trying to help. But was he? I dont know.

“Do I though, do I really?” She finally asked with a sigh, those seemed to be coming from her a lot lately “Because I know I do, I just dont feel it coming to me and its so draining to get on with life when you feel worthless.”

Fred took in what she just said, pausing before trying to come up with a reasonable response “I know.” He sighed “I want to help you Y/N, what can I do?” What could he do though? Realistically?

“I dont know. Nothing. This’ll pass soon enough and I’ll be okay.”

Fred knew that, Y/N was always ‘okay’ or ‘fine’ or ‘just tired’ “But I want you to be better than okay. I want you to be happy, to enjoy life and all its moments.”

Y/N scoffed “And you think I dont want that?” There was a tense silence

“Why dont we take the day off tomorrow and go out somewhere? We havent done that in a while.” Fred suggested. It was true, with both of them being bombarded by work they hardly saw eachother in the last few months.

“Sure.” Y/N smiled sickly and set her tea down “Yeah alright I’ll just sack my job off to have a fun little date with you eh? Why not risk getting fired just because I’m feeling a little moody huh?”

Fred was taken aback by her words and immediately went back on what he said “If you dont want to thats fine I-“

“Im sorry” she cut him off “I’m sorry, that was a dick move I didnt mean it, just everythings gotten so much-“ she put her feet up on the couch to hug them “Im sorry.” A few stray tears fell onto her knees

Fred moved closer to her “Hey, its okay, its okay dont worry. I understand.” Oh sweet understanding Fred, Fred who gave you unconditional love and support. Fred who you keep snapping at.

Moments pass as he embraces you, your body leaning against his heavily. Not sure whether its the exhaustion or something else “I dont deserve you.” You mumble into his chest. He frowns cups your face in his hands, you lean in to his warm touch.

“Dont say that” you let out a quiet sob “Y/N you deserve the absolute world, and I wish I could give it to you & more. If I could take away your pain, I would. In an instant I would. You dont deserve to feel like this, to think like this. But I’m here for you okay. I love you, so fucking much you don’t understand.” He gazed into her eyes, wishing she could feel how much he meant it “You’re the best thing that happened to me & I’m going to prove it to you, whatever it takes Y/N.” He kissed your nose before letting you hug him tighter, relieved that you no longer shrunk away from his touch “Words cant express how much I love you.”

After a few more tears fall, Y/N laughs into his chest “Good because you’re stuck with me.”

Fred grins to himself “I wouldnt have it any other way.”

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gottlem · 3 years

Note

‘let me go’ but like angsty lemyanka maybe if lemon is moving back to nyc from toronto 💔

here u go ! the most angsty thing i have ever written and will probably ever write. i havent proofread it bc its late, im tired and i got a bit carried away and ended up writing 1.7k words so.... yeah. hope u like it ! <3

“let me go”

Lemon and Priyanka were clearly in love. Everyone knew it, everyone could see. Deep down, they both knew that they were, but no matter how many times they ended up in eachothers beds, it just never came up. Because if it did, well, Lemon’s not too sure what would happen. But it would be a lot, maybe too much. So she decided to stick with friends with benefits, nothing more, and it worked. For a while. Until she didn’t know what counted as overstepping anymore and calling Priyanka her friend just felt like a lie, even though it wasn’t, not really. But the ‘not really’ part is what fucked her up.

Lemon could only deal with so much. She had her walls, they were strong and tall and Priyanka was the only one who could get through, but they just didn’t feel like they were protecting her anymore. One day, she feared they would become a little too high, a little too unstable, and crush her. And she didn’t want Priyanka to have to deal with that.

She had already made the decision to move back to New York before she even admitted it to herself. She tended to listen to her brain over her heart - you’re less likely to get hurt that way. Somehow, this time round she couldn't quite tell which part she was listening to, but before she knew it, she was on the phone to her friend Jan asking for a place to stay.

Jan was more than happy, albeit a little concerned, for Lemon to live with her for a bit, claiming she could use the company and the help with rent. It was a win-win situation. Though, was Lemon winning? She wasn’t so sure, she was however very stubborn and once she had made her mind up, there was no going back. It would be nice to see her New York friends again, they hadn’t fallen out of touch but things are always harder when you’re so far apart. Besides, she needed a change of scenery, she missed walking the streets of the city that never sleeps.

The real reason behind her decision was Priyanka. She didn’t tell anyone about it but Jan, knowing she would need at least some form of support once the train arrived. She just couldn’t bear to keep up with whatever their current situation was, but also she wasn’t sure she had the courage to talk about her real feelings, so the only option she could see was to just run away. They could keep in contact, a couple of texts and maybe a bi-weekly phone call, and Lemon could find some other girl to fall in love with and then she would be over her.

She didn’t know how to be in love, and even if Priyanka could show her, she didn’t know if she was ready, if she was prepared. Because love was scary. Commitment, too. It’s not that Lemon was scared they would end up breaking up, she was scared that they would never break up. She was still young, and while some people long to find the love of their life early on, Lemon found herself staring at hers right in the face and it just felt too overwhelming.

She had started hinting to Priyanka that she missed her New York friends about a month before she planned to be leaving. Priyanka would suggest a week’s visit, and Lemon would just shrug it off. She just didn’t want it to come out of the blue when she finally told her that she'd be moving. And yet, all her hints didn’t stop Priyanka from being surprised.

It was dark out, and the pair lay not so comfortably in Lemon’s bed. It was too hot but neither had the energy to do anything about it, so they stayed there in silence, Lemon slowly building up the courage to speak.

“Hey, Pri?” She barely recognised her own voice, hating the crack that came out when she started speaking. Priyanka hummed in response, turning her head to face Lemon’s, eyes trained on the side of Lemon’s head as the yellow haired girl stared blankly at the ceiling. Eye contact would be too much, she didn’t want to see Priyanka’s face when she told her.

“I’m moving back to New York.”

Silence.

More silence.

Then, the shuffling of covers and creaks of floorboards as Priyanka grabbed her stuff and left. Somehow Lemon didn’t register any of it until the door had shut behind her. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.

The next day, Priyanka showed up at her door again, not too long after the sun rose. She looked tired, but Lemon said nothing because she probably looked the same.

“Sorry for just, leaving. I, uh, I was pissed off? I think?” Lemon’s jaw dropped.

“I’m sorry, you were pissed? At me? Priyanka, I get that I could have told you sooner but don’t pretend like telling you would have made me change my mind.”

“Wouldn’t it? Why are you moving anyway? When are you moving?”

“I miss my friends. I miss New York. I need a change, a get-away. I leave in two weeks”

“Jesus Christ,” Priyanka almost stomped past Lemon, sitting on the couch with an angry thud. “You’re telling me, you move to New York in two weeks, because you miss your friends, and I am only just finding out now? That is bullshit, Lemon”

Of all of the reactions Lemon anticipated, this was not one of them. They never argued. They always poked fun, never too serious, always having a good time. But this was new. Lemon didn’t even know how to argue with Priyanka. She didn’t even know how she was supposed to react to hearing her full name, and the way she said it too. Lemon couldn’t quite place a finger on how Priyanka was feeling, not used to not being able to read her like an open book, and she fucking hated it. But if Pri wanted to argue, then they were going to argue. Lemon didn’t make this decision on whim, she needed to do this, she needed to move, she didn’t have a choice.

“God, Priyanka, do I need to tell you everything? It’s not like I’m your fucking girlfriend!” She regretted saying it the second it came out of her mouth, no matter how true it was. They avoided the word ‘girlfriend’ like the plague, but apparently this was the line that needed to be crossed to have this discussion.

“No, you don’t need to tell me everything, but if you’re moving to New York? Yeah, maybe tell me. Maybe mention it before you have to leave in two weeks, for fucks sake, Lem”

She had stopped shouting, her voice sounding a bit more tired and defeated that angry. Things were complicated. Lemon thought running away would be the easiest option. And maybe she was right. Maybe the easiest option was still hard, but it was too late to change her mind now. The damage had been done, and now Priyanka knew that she would be getting on the train in two weeks time, and they didn’t know when they’d see eachother again after that.

They spent all day talking. Avoiding direct eye contact, getting goosebumps every time their hands accidentally touched. Unsaid ‘I love you’s floated around them, taunting them every time Lemon went over her excuse for moving. They hid behind sad smiles and even sadder eyes, but never managed to actually surface, not like they ever did anyways.

They pretended like nothing happened the next day. Instead, they opted to make the most of the last week and a bit left they had together, refusing to mention the fact that time was slipping, or how much they would be lost without each other. Lemon spent her nights on the phone to Jan, planning logistics, but mostly trying not to cry about how she was leaving the woman who was quite possibly her soulmate in another country for however long without telling her how she feels.

Her final day in Toronto came round after what felt like a short eternity. She was only slightly ready. Her yellow suitcase rolled next to her and she drowned out the noise of the train station with her earphones on full volume. A coffee warmed her shaking hands as she waited for the train she was obnoxiously early for. Not long past before she felt someone sit down next to her and place a hand on her shoulder, startling her from the daze she had managed to force herself into.

Of fucking course it was Priyanka. And of course she was looking at Lemon with tears threatening to shed. Lemon placed her hand in Priyanka’s after taking out her earphones, and gave it a small squeeze.

“I don’t want you to go” Lemon wished she could kiss her and say she didn’t want to go either. But she couldn't because she would be lying. She wanted to go. She loved Priyanka, and Priyanka loved her. They both knew it, without it being said. But Lemon just wasn’t ready.

“I know. I’ll miss you” Priyanka shook her head and tears began to fall down her cheeks, one by one then all at once.

“God, Lem, what went wrong? Do I have to fucking beg you to stay or something? I don’t understand why you have to move all the way to New York, I don’t know what I’m even supposed to do without you here”

Lemon refused to cry. She absolutely refused. When she felt the back of her eyes stinging with tears, she simply shook her head and pushed them back. Not now. Not in front of Pri.

She took her other hand, and looked Priyanka in the eyes, inching in closer and closer.

“Pri, I’m going, and it’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna be fine, and you’re gonna be fine, okay love? It’s time to just… let me go.”

Lemon released her hands and stood up, the action followed by Priyanka, who gave her a bone crushing hug, still crying. When she finally let go, she gave her a small kiss on the top of her head, and Lemon had to hold back her tears for the millionth time within the past five minutes. They looked at each other for just a moment, once again opting to not say anything, despite it being their final chance. Lemon gave a small nod, as if in response to the silence, before turning away and walking to her platform. She didn’t look behind her. And if she stopped holding back her waterfall of tears the second she faced the other way, she could hide that from Priyanka too.

#lemyanka #anon #lemon🍋#lemongivesyoulife #priyanka love #im sorry its unresolved #normally i kinda hate angst bc im too messed up already for that shit #but i think now i have learned to love it #however if anyone maybe wants a pt2 #i will be happy to write #bc this is practically an entire fic #i got pretty carried away

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todayisafridaynight · 8 months

Note

No you're right, the file naming system helped a great deal in terms of being able to verify ages and certain events on the timeline (even some minor characters like Ushio have them, which is neat). Because like, Hoshino does specify in-game that Arakawa was 14 when he killed Toshio, but without a year that's not exactly helpful...

You normally have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to figure out Arakawa's age, to the point the only official profile that listed his age was wrong, so it was a HUGE find to have those straightforward numbers at the time (even if they aren't 100% accurate; Jo probably shouldn't be 21 with how Yokoyama says he ages his characters by year without setting birth dates, and Arakawa's 25 model is used for more scenes where he's not 25, But You Know).

#whats interesting is that arakawa's 90's-2000 model doesnt have an age attached to it. dont ask a woman her age ig idk <- this killed me but it also reminds me they did this unironically with Saeko

Actually wait forget the entire rest of this ask I wanna talk about what was going on with these profiles... they were SoA exclusives... but like girl... wrong age (he's 62 not 63)... favorite food is To Be Fair Something He Talks About LIKE It's His Favorite but is still a dish he's only had once in his lifetime... no hobbies or special abilities... trying to sassily sidestep not knowing Saeko's age... inability to decide whether to present alcoholism as a hobby or favorite food... ONLY Adachi having a disliked food...

Nanba and Ichi's are okay though :) but these crushed my soul for real if you can't trust a character profile what can you trust😭

Anyway If Nothing Else I hope you enjoy these relics :) I'm gonna go write in about stuff I forgot to mention before bye

leaving rn i totally forgot hoshino says arakawa's age BYE is it evident i havent watched the cutscenes outside of the arakawa family in a hot minute. cause its been A Hot Minute

jo's model being labeled 21 did make me scratch me head tho so im glad im not insane for thinking it was a Questionable label (even if i expected myself to be wrong about SOMETHING in that post anyway LMAO)

the official bios are gutting me tho like yeah i GUESS alcoholism is a hobby but im sure bestie has more than that.... like her age..... cmon now...

#snap chats #yeah arakawa's special ability is having game in his late 40's and 60's idfk he seemed proud of that #SORRY ILL STOP MENTIONING IT NOW it just makes me laugh... Never Have I Ever like calm down pops...#why adachi gotta be a shiitake mushroom hater.. cmon now theyre good...... i love them in chicken dumplings the most #BUT WHEN THEYRE ROASTED TOO OUUUUGGGHGH SOOOOO GOOOD i love shiitake mushroom...#nancy chan in ichis profile.... shes perefct......#nanba's bio reminding me i miss warm milk :( they dont have microwaves at my dorm and i only brought an air fryer...#like i GUESS i can boil milk in a pot... bro i just want my calcium back..#anyway more write-ins YAAAY YIPPEEEE !!!!!!!

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vynefiendfyre · 3 years

Text

ℍ𝕆𝕎 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔹𝕃𝔸ℂ𝕂 𝔸ℝ𝕄𝕐 𝕎𝕆𝕌𝕃𝔻 ℝ𝔼𝔸ℂ𝕋 𝕋𝕆 𝕐𝕆𝕌 ℙ𝔸𝕊𝕊𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕆𝕌𝕋 𝔽ℝ𝕆𝕄 𝔼𝕏ℍ𝔸𝕌𝕊𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ

Ray • he probably wouldnt notice • I'm sorry • slap him • he'd be too busy with his duties to notice you wobbling around • he would notice your shaking but just think it was his imagination since hes pretty exhausted too • that is until you set his tea down and then disappear in front of his desk • he calls out your name a couple times before standing up from behind the Mountain of paperwork • "Y/N? Y/N?" He calls before going around his desk and finding you in a heap of skin and muscle • "oh shi-" he covers his mouth and rushes over to you • "wake up, come on..." he mumbles, trying to get to to wake up • when you dont, he drags you to his room and sets you on his bed • he assigns a lower ranked member to watch over you and make sure you dont get out of bed • will force you back even if he has to physically restrain you • he'd try to cook something for you because he's a worried boyfie • almost burns the building down • sets the oven on fire • he also makes luka panic • got banned from the kitchen by luka • got banned from touching hot things from sirius • he cant really take a day off so he just checks in on you periodically when he has a couple minutes • luka has to make him tea now • honestly wouldnt make you do crap for the next couple days • just worries about you a lot "No more kitchen." Sirius and Luka collectively agree on that. "Fine... No more kitchen." Ray pouts softly as he goes up the stairs. He knocks on the door to his room to make sure he doesnt startle you and closes the door behind him. He sits on the edge of your bed and sighs. "I tried to make some food for you but I messed it up and now I'm banned from the kitchen." You sit up and chuckle, shaking your head slightly. "You know you can't cook, silly." He blushes and scratches the back of his head. "I just worry that you arent eating enough sometimes and I wanted to do something nice for you." "You being here for me, although I could get up since it's already been two days, is enough for me. Thank you though." You open your arms for him and he slides in, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close. Sirius • wouldnt notice either • too busy • slap him pt.2 • doesnt even notice you're shaking • just thinks its normal and goes on with his day • it isnt until he goes to take care of his horse and he finds you face down in the dirt mixed with horse poo • it stinks • he low key screams loud enough the whole building can hear it • luka, seth, and fenrir come running out • he picks you up like you're a moldy cloth and takes you inside • the rest are low key laughing at his face but are worried about you • he doesn't let your feet touch the ground the whole time • puts you in your bed after putting down a towel • you wake up and freak out then realise you're in your room • "wash yourself off" • "but I cant" • "why cant you" • "sirius I cant move my arms" • *throws washcloth* • "suffer alone." • but the moment you fall asleep hes cleaning you off • you stink and he cant handle it • would worry • are they okay • are they eating • forces you to eat if you havent • would keep you in bed for like 2 weeks • worried about you constantly • kinda snaps because hes so worried • yells a lot but doesnt know it • assigns someone like luka or seth to take care of you • trust issues to the max • he most likely assigns luka because they can cook together and sirius can bring up your meal while luka cooks and after they're done sirius can put the stuff away and luka can look after you • would tie you to the bed if you dont want to stay in it • did I mention hes worried "You still smell like horse poo." Sirius sighs as he sits on the side of your bed with your portion of dinner on a plate. "It's because you wont let me get up and take a shower without someone watching me." You grumble, taking the plate and utensils. "I just don't want to find you face down in the horse stable again." "Then let me take a shower." "Fine... But I'm going to be

standing guard in case something happens." You blush a bit at the thought and rub his hand. "Stop being such a worry wart." You smile at him before beginning to eat. "I'm not worried." He adverts his gaze and looks down at his hands. "I-I'm gunna let you eat in peace." He stands and leaves. "He's so worried." You mumble with a fond smile. Luka • he's the most • um • blunt I guess • so he would notice the dark circles under your eyes or how you wobble around while baking and just blatantly ask you • "are you okay?" • if you answer yes, he knows something's off and hes going to get answer from you one way or another • unfortunately hes too late and he finds you passed out in the kitchen after going to grab something from the pantry • he'd panic at first and think you're dead • he'd rush over to you and try to shake you awake but you wont budge • low key starts to cry • big sigh of relief when you finally wake up • he'd hold you close and not let you go • he's strong so good luck getting out of his hug for a while • the food goes cold and you're like "Luka the food's gunna get cold." • he's like "I don't care I thought I lost you." and then blush because he didn't realise he said what he said and you started to laugh • "I wasnt gone forever." • "I know..." • cue more blushing • he'd make some food and tea for you to munch on after • he'd be really clingy and Stone would definitely notice and squeak at him in a teasing way • would pin you down to the bed if you tried to leave the next day • insists that you need rest and wont let you go until hes satisfied • sneaks back hugs and kisses to make sure you're feeling well • presses his lips against your forehead to check your temperature • hes amazing Arms wrap around your waist as you mix the batter for Ray's muffins. "Hey, Luka." You say, concentrating on mixing. "You feeling okay?" He presses his lips against your temple, pulling back before resting his forehead against the crook of your neck. "Yeah, what's up?" "Just makin' sure you're okay." His voice comes out muffled as he presses some kisses against your shoulder. "Luka, I have to finish these." You try to shake him off but he just holds you tighter and whines. "Nooooo." He groans before you slither out of his arms, his blushing face left for the world to see. "I need to get these in the oven and make the tea. I promise I'll hug you when I'm done. You can make the tea if you want." "Fine." He mutters and gets the stuff for the tea. Fenrir • this man • slap him pt. 3 • not really • but pls slap him • he wouldnt notice and he'd just be like "huh what's up?" if you seemed really tired • he'd probably have to listen to the queues of Ray or Seth to even get a thought that you're exhausted • honestly I wouldnt blame him though, he has a lot of stuff on his plate as the Ace • hes probably just as overworked as you are but hes too charismatic to show it • he thought that you'd get through it because you're tough but freaks out when you pass out on the way to Ray with his tea • he decided it would be best to walk you from the kitchen to Ray's office after Ray pretty much ordered him to • he would've done it anyway • boyfriend material smh • when you came crashing to the ground the last thing he was worried about was the tea • he panicked inside and cursed himself for not letting you rest enough • he'd resituate you so that your back is leaning on the wall as he cleans up the mess of the tea • I love him • he'd bring the tea to Ray before rushing back to you • you had woken up and were lowkey scared about how you ended up in that situation • he'd hug you really tight to hide the tears forming • hides in the crook of your neck • drags you into bed and makes you lay down with him • he'd take the next day off and coax you back into bed and cuddle with you • good luck getting away from him • he has an iron clad grip on your hips so you arent moving anywhere • would probably put you on his chest and wrap his arms

around you because that's how he feels most comfortable • would take the next day off too just to make sure you're okay before going back to his duties • would keep a close eye on you from then on "Babe, I'm fine." You say as you climb the stairs to Ray's room for the first time since you passed out. "I just want to make sure you don't pass out again." Fenrir says in his usual go-lucky voice. "But babe, I got a full nights rest last night." "I don't care, I'm still worrying about you." He rubs the back of his head. "You know, my duties as your boyfriend and the ace is to keep you safe from harm. And I failed to make sure you were doing okay, so I won't slip up again." He looks at his feet as you both turn to Ray's office. "Look at me, Fenrir." He locks eyes with you and you lean up to give him a peck on the lips. "I'll be fine." You nudge open the door with your foot before stepping in. Seth • girl good luck being exhausted around him • he'd notice immediately • would not let you go • files for a couple days off to releive stress • makes you go out no matter how much you object to it • takes you to a bakery since he knows you love to bake • let's you buy what you want and then buys for himself • drags you to a dress store to get a new outfit for you • he notices how you begin to get sluggish and let's you sit down while he brings dresses to you • panics when he sees you slumped over when he comes back with a cute white dress • thinks the red army did something and drops the dress to rush over to you • shakes you a bit until he realises you passed out • "you silly girl/boy... you should've told me if you were this tired..." he mutters to himself • puts the dress back and hoists you on his back • he walks through most of the central quarter with you on his back before you wake up • you're really confused as to what's happening and why theres so many people • and you're tall?? when did you grow? • then you see the blue hair of seth and realise you passed out • "sorry if I scared you..." you mumble in his ear so he can hear you • he just looks back and smiles and it says it's fine • he gets you back to the black army base with a little retaliation from you to set him down • he just keeps a strong grip on your thighs and keeps you held up no matter how much you squirm • he sets you down on his bed and settles in before you can leave, practically tying you to the bed and not letting you leave • insists you need your beauty sleep even though you dont think so • will make you sleep one way or another • takes at least 3 days off to make sure you get rest • would give you back hugs and kiss your neck or shoulders more often just to check up on you • super teasing about it • slap him pt. 4 • golden retriever bf • 10/10 would reccomend "Aliiiiiceee..." Seth whines in a high pitched voice. "What is it?" You ask over your shoulder from folding laundry. He wraps his arms around you and rests his head on top of yours. "How are you feeling today? Have you eaten?" You think for a moment before you realise you haven't slept in a while and you haven't eaten today. "Uh... no..." "Your bags say you haven't slept in a while either." He drags you to his bed and throws himself on top of you, making sure not to crush you. "Seth... I was in the middle of doing something..." "I don't care. Now sleep." He puts his hand over your eyes and flips over so you're on top of him, resting on his chest. His heartbeat is soothing and strong, indicating that this isn't a dream or hallucination, this is reality and you have such a wonderful lover. His hands are still wrapped around you and prevent you from moving, so you decide to just lay there. You drift off to sleep to the sound of his heartbeat and slowed breathes.

A/N This is a request from @Chaosangel767

hope you like it!!

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abrakophile · 3 years

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I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE.

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP.

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them?#letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 1 #long post

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lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years

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Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

#rwde #rwby critism #anti mkek #yu gi oh #ygo duel monsters #yu gi oh analasis

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rizahawkais · 3 years

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I LOVED season 1 and 2 of the crown but found season 3 quite dull and difficult to get through. I'm enjoying season 4 (still havent finished bc I watch with my family and we're rarely all together) but I think that the earlier seasons were a lot better in my opinion

hi! i completely agree w you!

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY! I replied to this the day you sent it but my laptop crashed and I lost everything I wrote so I put off till now!

All in all, the writing for the first two seasons were WAY better. My ranking is s2 > s1 > s4 >>>>> s3. In my opinion, season three was kind of terrible.

hahaha this is so so long.

In the first two seasons each episode’s mini story for the day was actually INTERESTING. Like, I loved where one episode was about the Mountbatten name and then the next was about the Great Smog! But, there was always an overarching plot and it always added up in the end. S1, S2 and S4 all had an overarching plot that worked! S1 was balancing family and the crown. S2 was balancing prime ministers and her husband. S4 was the downfall of Margaret Thatcher and Charles/Diana. S3 LITERALLY HAD NO PLOT! It was just a bunch of stories put together. The finale for season 3 was about the end of Margaret’s marriage! And although, it is an important event in the family’s history the fact that it was the finale episode????

Anyways, Season 3 genuinely just sucks. Season 4 is REALLY good. Yet, it still doesn’t leave as much of an affect on me like the earlier seasons. AND LIKE I KNOW BECAUSE I’VE REWATCHED THE FIRST THREE SEASONS SO MANY TIMES. I’ve only seen the fourth once because I’m too busy and it’s also too early for me to rewatch it. So, maybe my opinion of season 4 will change!

Now, because I am extra 😈😈 and crazy I will talk about every single episode IN ORDER. hehehehehehe. feel free to hate me

SEASON ONE

101 Wolferton Splash - 10/10 this episodes just sets everything up! we see how happy the marriage is and how loving king george is and we also see the FORSHADOWING!! we see lilibet and phillip making their life thinking they had time when we know they don’t and it’s just :( AN AMAZING PILOT EPISODE WITH AMAZING QUOTES!

102 Hyde Park Corner - 1000/10 this episode needs no explanation. the suspense and DRAMA right before lilibet finds out about her dad ALWAYS gets me!!

103 Windsor - 10/10 I hated this episode the first time I watched it! I didn’t understand the importance of her uncle and I didn’t understand the complexity behind the episode. I was 14 when I saw this episode for the first time! So, mind you I was quite ignorant. but, david basically represents the audience in the show for those who hate the monarchy and call them out on their hypocrisy. BUT DAVID IS A TERRIBLE PERSON! FUCK DAVID! i understand hating the monarchy and for him i know it was personal but the way he talks about his family in the letters UGHUGHGUHGUHGUHGUH this man is evil! there’s also the other story in the episode about the mountbatten name which is so brilliant!

104 Act of God - 15/10 this episode was boring on first watch but I WAS FOURTEEN! this episode took a break from the monarchy and concentrated on a british national horrific event THAT WAS IMPORTANT and i liked how it connected throughout the episode and all that and the CINEMATOGRAPHY OMGGGGG! anyways, something that pisses me off about this episode is that the crown kind of has the same kind of audience as euphoria! they only care about a hot actor or iconic character or the aesthetics AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! bc those are the ppl who call this episode the boring fog episode and the latest episode of euphoria a waste of time! they don’t understand the importance of what their watching. an event that killed hundreds by something that could have been avoided bc of science and for euphoria an ongoing pandemic of an ugly world and its affect on ppl not wanting to go on! IM SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT but this episode is important in reminding audiences that disasters can be avoided but also once they happen anything can happen THIS WAS A SAD EPISODE OKAY AND I LOVED VENETIA SCOTT!

105 Smoke and Mirrors - 100/10 THE CORONATION EPISODE! Phillip tries to bring it to the common public and all the fighting between them just makes the coronation even more impactful when we watch it!

106 Gelignite - 8/10 I DESPISED MARGARET IN THE FIRST SEASON i saw her as a spoiled brat who wanted to marry her dad’s assistant! AND ALSO HOW DID SHE NOT REALIZE THERE WAS DEFINITE GROOMING INVOLVED! this episode is generally very good but margaret just pisses me off a lot! however, her not being able to marry peter boresend shouldn’t have been because of his divorcee status but bc he simply was a predator in anyone’s clear eyes IM SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT SHE MET HIM SO YOUNG NO WAY THERE WAS NO GROOMING good episode but pissed off at margaret’s lack of critical thinking besides but I WANT HIMMMMM LIKE I WANT EVERYTHING

107 Scientia Potentia Est - 11/10 hated this when i first watched it! but now one of my favorites! lilibet feels dumb and needs a tutor! prime minister and wannabe prime minister have health problems and keep it from her! lilibet finds out by accident and they all get yelled at! I LOVE WHEN SHE YELLS AT MEN!

108 Pride & Joy - 10/10 this episode is just adds on to the overarching plot of the season: balancing the crown and family. margaret says disrespectful things to ppl who don’t deserve it in place of lilibet while she’s on the commonwealth tour fighting with her husband! then lilibet scorns margaret and we see an ugly papa loved me more argument! absolutely brilliant!

109 Assassins - 1000/10 hated it the first time but now I LOVE THIS EPISODE! it’s the painting and porchey episode and churchill leaving episode. It’s so so so good! i honestly have no words to describe the brilliance of this episode besides the acting done by almost the entire main cast CLAIRE WOW! MATT WOW! STEPHEN (THE PAINTER) WOW! JOHN WOW! HARRIET WOW! when we see the painting getting burned coincided w the downing st dinner GETS ME EVERYTIME I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!

110 Gloriana - 100/10 the climactic fight between the crown and family! which will lilibet choose?? and the foreshadowing to suez MWAH!

SEASON TWO

201 Misadventure - 100/10 LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS EPISODE the cutesy lilibet and phillip until it all goes down WOW! and the suez stuff i love it all

202 A Company of Men - 100/10 this is where i think mike’s wife starts snooping or it’s the next episode BUT THIS IS WHERE SOMETHING BEGINS FOR SURE first of all it foreshadows the episode later in the season about philip’s childhood AND MATT’S ACTING!! it’s too good for words!

203 Lisbon - 100/10 i like it when they fight lol that’s the only way i know how to describe why i love it LILIBET WAS EXCITED TO SEE HIM AND SO WAS HE but then mike ruined it by being a disgraceful and dishonest man RUINING EVERYTHING

204 Beryl - 10/10 i start to like margaret bc i feel bad for her! she’s suffering she’s sad that her lil predator boyfriend is no longer w her but look who it is MATTHEW GOODE! he not suspicious at all but the writers are like here take 20 minutes of perfect chemistry between the actors!

205 Marionettes - 100/10 I LOVE THIS EPISODE basically someone who loves the monarchy insults the monarchy and lilibet actually goes to listen to them! w resistance of course but she still took everything he said to fix the monarchy !

206 Vergangenheit - 1000/10 one of my favorites! i didn’t know about david’s nazi past so when i watched this episode for the first time i was completely baffled! another episode where she yells at a man!!!! i’m always annoyed in this episode tho by all the talk from the priest about forgiveness bc im like why would u want to forgive david for being a nazi?? but i think it was intentional by the writers to show the importance of understanding forgiveness and the grounds for it! THIS EPISODE IS JUST PERFECT IM ANNOYED BC I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE HIM

207 Matrimonium - 9/10 this episode is amazing BEFORE you’ve seen season three bc you root for margaret and tony! but, also throughout the episode there’s all that tony and family and his gf and bf stuff that you think is going to lead somewhere but doesn’t??? like what was the point of introducing his mother and his relationships if it was going nowhere and not even mentioned in season 3??? LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT WHAT WAS THE REASON? but, also there’s lilibet and phillip fluff in this episode I LOVE

208 Dear Mrs. Kennedy - 10/10 this episode is fun as an american bc i think jackie kennedy and jfk are so idolized here in america it was so interesting to see this other pov! BUT I ALSO REALLY LOVED LILIBET DANCING W NKRUMAH! I THOUGHT IT WAS SO CUTE AND THE MARTIN CHARTERIS STUFF LEADING UP TO IT WAS SO FUNNY!

209 Paterfamilias - 100000/10 no words. IT WAS SO SMART TO PARALLEL PHILIP AND CHARLES this has a lower rating than the previous episode which makes no sense but only goes to prove the idolization of jackie and jfk

210 Mystery Man - 100/10 EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST EPISODE IS ADDRESSED IN THIS EPISODE THE SEASON COMES FULL CIRCLE JUST LIKE SEASON ONE DID AND SEASON THREE DID NOT DO THAT AND SEASON FOUR DID IT TOO BUT NO WHERE AS GREATLY

every single episode of seasons two has a 9+ rating from me!

SEASON THREE (worst season)

301 Olding - 5/10 weak starter but good for introducing olivia as lilibet and harold wilson and departing churchill BUT THAT’S IT! like the whole spy thing just went bleh LIKE IT HAD POTENTIAL but it needed early seasons writing not third season writing techniques TOBIAS DID A GREAT JOB THO IN THIS EPISODE HE WAS A GREAT RECAST FOR PHILIP

302 Margaretology - 6/10 okay. just okay. margaret kind of bratty but you actually feel bad for her then she gets bratty again and then you feel bad for her again and the scenarios in the episode just didn’t feel real like the whole lyndon b johnson was so jealous of jfk that he was rude to the queen so they sent margaret JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE like i know this show is fictional but the fiction tends to be believable until i research the episode afterwards BUT FOR THIS it just didn’t make sense

303 Aberfan - 1000/10 ONE OF THE GOOD EPISODES OF THE SEASON! those first fifteenish minutes??? TEARS! i never knew about aberfan until this episode and seeing this episode made me cry!

304 Bubbikins - 10000/10 THIS EPISODE IS TECHNICALLY NOT AS GOOD AS THE ABERFAN EPISODE BUT THIS IS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE we meet anne and alice in this episode AND I LOVE BOTH OF THEM (erinsdoherty is my current url!) this episode is so sad and sweet at the same time and loving bc i’m a sucker for philip’s back story!

305 Coup - 8/10 this had potential I FEEL LIKE IF THEY WROTE THIS EPISODE DIFFERENTLY LIKE HOW THEY WROTE ONE OF THE SUEZ EPISODE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER the fact that it all went to nothing and nothing basically happened WHAT WAS THE POINT

306 Tywysog Cymru - 1000/10 this episode made me like charles! what a horrendous statement! but, like i thought his relationship w his tutor was so heartwarming and he actually seemed to care and all that and it just all in all MADE ME HAPPY like this episode isn’t sad it’s a happy episode until the last scene w lilibet BUT YEA they gave us this one good episode until we hate him which i appreciate makes the story telling better

307 Moondust - -100/10 hate this episode LIKE GENUINELY HATE IT HATE HATE HATE and tbh im generally very very nice w my opinions ANYWAYS I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE BUT IT WAS SO STUPID LIKE THE ASTRONAUTS BEING ASSHOLES WAS STUPID PHILIP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO THE PRIESTS WAS STUPID LIKE PHILIP IS AN ASSHOLE BUT IT’S BEHIND PEOPLE’S BACKS AND THEN THEY KILLED ALICE OFF SCREEN I HATE THIS EPISODE

308 Dangling Man - -1000/10 HATE THIS ONE TOO this episode convinced me that the writers for the first two seasons to this season has changed all of a sudden we forget that david was basically a nazi and the charles we met two episodes ago sees him as exactly like this uncle who he swore he would be nothing like to the people of wales??? LIKE WHO WROTE THIS THEY WERE DOING CRACK WHILE WRITING THIS EPISODE and i felt NOTHING during the lilibet and david goodbye WHACK EPISODE TERRIBLE JUST BAD TERRIBLE

309 Imbroglio - 5/10 episode started off good but then just went a lil too crazy by making it seem like a whole secret spy mission going behind lilibet’s back

310 Cri de Cour - 4/10 bad just bad HBC GOOD ACTRESS AMAZING ACTRESS given bad material like NONE OF THIS FEELS CONNECTED THIS STORY IS ALL RANDOM AND WE HAD A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT MARGARET AND TONY AND WE DON’T EVEN MENTION ANY OF THE CRAZY STUFF FROM THE LAST SEASON BUT WE CONCENTRATE ON MARGARET BEING A SUGAR MAMA MAKES SENSE YALL

once again i hate season three

SEASON FOUR

401 Gold Stick- 8/10 written weirdly but had GOOD SCENES such as meeting thatcher and diana! BUT THE SCENE STEALER WAS OBVIOUSLY MOUNTBATTEN’S DEATH AND PHILIP TELLING CHARLES THAT HE BECAME DICKIE’S SON INSTEAD OF HIM SAD STUFF so like the death was sad and dramatic and I FELT BAD but like i shouldn’t bc im south asian and mountbatten did bad stuff to us BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE RIPPLE WE FELT

402 The Balmoral Test - 9/10 funny episode but needed early seasons’ writing

403 Fairytale - 9/10 good episode but needed early seasons’ writing BUT ALSO THAT SCENE BETWEEN CAMILA AND DIANA MWAH CHEF’S KISS THEY BOTH DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS but needed early seasons’ writing

404 Favourites - 7/10 this episode is good but frustrating bc u finally realize how terrible of a mother lilibet is BUT THE ANDREW STUFF WAS GOOD I AM GLAD THEY PUT THAT IN! i liked seeing thatcher’s non-existent relationship w her daughter NEEDED EARLY SEASONS’ WRITING

405 Fagan - 10/10 GOOD EPISODE I LIKE HOW WE WERE EMERSED IN FAGAN’S LIFE AND I LOVE THE ACTOR FOR FAGAN TOO AND I LIKE HOW IT WAS CONNECTED TO THATCHER AND FUELED THE OVERARCHING PLOT OF THE STORY!

406 Terra Nullius - 100/10 GOOD EPISODE CLOSEST TO EARLY SEASONS WRITING THAT’S WHAT MADE IT GOOD seeing them not get along and then get along and then not get along again through a series of montages made the episode brilliant!

407 The Hereditary Principle - 6/10 this episode. how do i explain? the material for this episode was absolutely perfect for the writers of the early seasons! POOR EXECUTION

408 48:1 - 100/10 i like the political episodes more than the family episodes SO THIS EPISODE IS SO BRILLIANT BC OF THE BACK AND FORTH AND I GOT TO SEE CLAIRE!!

409 Avalanche - 7/10 early season writers would have shown the arguing before the avalanche and diana’s reaction JUST SAYING

410 War - 9/10 THIS EPISODE HAD THE YELLING AT EACH OTHER SCENE THAT WAS SO GOOD BUT ANYWAYS THE PROBLEM W THIS EPISODE WAS THAT IT DRAGGED I FEEL LIKE THIS EPISODE AND THE ONE BEFORE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ONE EPISODE TOGETHER

ALAS, what i would like to say is that i feel that season 4 shouldn’t have been so diana centric! it was diana from the beginning of the season to the end! not, that i don’t love the whole diana story but it was dragged and i think she should have been introduced around the third/fourth episode of this season the same way tony was in season two! camilla should have arrived at the beginning of season 4 so that the intensity between camilla, charles and diana was more believable! if we season three wasn’t so spread out they could have had more brilliant episode.

OK HAHA I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG RANT ABOUT THE CROWN PLZ FORGIVE ME! AND IF U READ ALL THIS WOW! IDK WHAT TO SAY I THINK I TALK TOO MUCH HONESTLY :( anyways thank you for talking to me :)

#the crown #queen elizabeth #prince philip #princess margaret #princess anne #princess diana #prince charles #margaret thatcher #asks #i talk too much

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justalitlecreacher · 4 years

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I’m here to prove that Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Spider-man/peter parker in The Amazing Spider-Man is objectively the best love action adaptation of the character. In this essay I will....(yes this is really happening)

Edit: 10/20/20- i want to indulge myself in spiderman content but finding non mcu spiderman content is exhausting so imma update this instead

TL;DR

Andrew Garfield is my favorite of the 3 Spider-Man actors. TAS’s Peter is more fun and dynamic than the cookie cutter “shy introverted nerd that has a crush on a girl who’s way out of his league” Peter in Tobey Maguire’s movies. I enjoy Tom Holland’s portrayal of the character, but hate the way Disney has written the movies. I enjoy the characters, plot, and humor of The Amazing Spider-Man far more than the other 2, and i deeply wish we had gotten the third movie with the canon BIder-Man of Andrew’s (and my) dreams.

[DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOT SEEN THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 OR ANY MCU SPIDERMAN MOVIES OUTSIDE OF CLIPS AND REVIEWS ITS ALSO BEEN A VERY HOT MINUTE SINCE IVE SEEN A TOBEY MAGUIRE MOVIE]

Characterization

Most arguments against Andrew Garfield’s Spidey( AG’s from now on) begin and ends with “he was a good Spider-Man but a bad Peter Parker”. This references an outdated post comparing all three Spidey actors.(Id attach the image here but i dont want the post to be too long(thats a lie this is so long what am i doing with my life)) The post also claims that Tobey played a good Peter and a poor Spidey; and that Tom is good at both “roles”.(Honestly I think it seems silly that this seems obey the “third time’s the charm” rule but thats just me). Most people using this seem to be Tobey stans who have forgotten or ignored the rest of the post funnily enough, but the ones that go further into the WHY AG is a poor Peter are also incorrect. This argument also ignores the idea that there can be more than one version of Peter Parker which is blatantly incorrect. Just look at Into the Spiderverse or the PS4 game; these provide 4(5 if you count the pig) versions of Peter themselves, and that doesnt even include the comics.

Arguments that go further in depth claim that the AS Peter is too cool or well liked by his peer to be a “true” Peter Parker. The evidence for this seems to be that Peter has a skateboard.(which what? didnt realize that having a skateboard would instantly make you cool brb guys). Adding to that i dont really see where people get the idea that Peter is popular or well liked. While looking for complaints i found this qutoe from reddit(theyve since deleted it looks like but i’ll add a link in the notes) “He's angsty, pretty socially awkward, has an aptitude for science, and is kind of an outsider. He gets bullied by Flash and he gets his ass kicked after trying to stand up to Flash. He isn't a "cool" person in any way (until the ending, in which he's best buds with Flash, so I'll give you that). While Maguire is more accurate to the 60s comics where Peter in high school is just a fucking loser with basically no friends, in the ultimate comics, Peter is more of the kid who has a small amount of friends, but isn't popular.”. Honesty i fully agree with this because once again, other versions of a character are allowed to exist. You can dislike one version, but its silly to dislike something for not being exactly like another thing.

Ive also heard that Peter isnt “nerdy enough” in this movie which really doesnt make any sense considering the entire plot happens because Peter was looking into some of his parents’ research. If he wasn't interested in looking further into his father’s work what reason would he have to go to Oscorp where he’s bitten by the spider? Why would he have become Dr. Conner’s assistant? If he wasn’t intelligent how did he develop the web shooters?(something that Tobey!Peter doesn't have to do out of plot convenience might i add).

Another complaint i see is that the quips he uses in the movie(the first one specifically it seems) makes him seem like an asshole. Honestly thats a fair complaint, but i think its a good bit of characterization; espcially if he does get better about it in the second movie like the internet suggests.The Peter in this movie is a rightfully angsty teen; of course he acts a bit of an ass to criminals(also i feel like its important to mention that he’s like that to criminals? its not like hes being a dick for no reason).

Compare this with the Tobey Maguire(TM) movies. Like i said i haven’t seen these in awhile but as far as i’m aware TM’s Peter doesn't really do anything particularly nerdy in the film? I may have forgotten something( ok in the scene before he gets bitten he knows a cool spider fact) but he doesn’t have to invent the web-shooters because they came with his powers and he’s only at Oscorp in the first place because it’s a school field trip that he appears to be taking photos for. This Peter does fit the definition of outcast(friendless and bullied for it), but honestly i just dont like him. He’s weird and something about the character makes me feel like i should be a little grossed out every time he looks at MJ at the beginning of the movie.

I honestly don’t have any complaints for Tom Holland’s(TH’s)Spidey. Tom is a great actor and from what ive seen i enjoy his portrayal of the character.( He made me cry when i character i actively dislike died).

Story

I cant really say much for TAS story. It’s interesting but nothing special really. However, there is one scene that i don’t think i’ve seen anything like since( the closest would probably be the train scene in the original trilogy).

The crane scene. Early in the film Peter saves a boy from a car that has fallen off of a bridge, and at the end of the movie this becomes relevant again when it is uncertain that Peter will be able to get to the lizard to stop him in time.(as Peter is already injured and pretty far from the lizard’s location). The boy’s father is then revealed to be a construction worker who recognizes that Spider-man is going to need help to get to the lizard; he remembers how Spider-Man saved his son and organizes the rest of the construction workers to build a path out of crane arms for SM to swing from. All of them are putting themselves in danger by not evacuating, but SM’s actions in the first act of the film motivate them to do what’s right.

I love this scene primarily because it highlights something that i think is a really important part of Spider-Man’s character; his connection to the people he saves. SM is often shown interacting with and chatting with the people he has saved after the fact. One comic shows Peter accidentally scaring some bullies and then taking the time to ride the bus to school with them to continue their conversation and educate the students on bullying.( There’s definitely more but this is off the top of my head).

Another scene in TAS that i love is shortly before the crane scene when Peter is originally attempting to make his way across the city to stop the lizard, and he is shot down by the police. They manage to unmask him before Peter comes to his senses( he had just been shot and fallen pretty far out of the sky in his defense). From there Peter is able to deal with the police while keeping any of them from getting a good look at his face. The one cop he cant take out happens to be Gwen Stacey’s father who had previously had an argument with Peter about Spider-Man(Peter obviously on SM’s side and Mr. Stacey against SM). Peter turns and allows Captain(?) Stacey to see his face. I believe that this is an example of an unwilling identity reveal done right. i really enjoyed this moment because Peter had just shown that he likely could have gotten out of this encounter with his identity in tact as he had just taken down however many men. This implies that it was an active choice on Peter’s end to trust that Captain Stacey would ultimately do the right thing and allow Peter to go fight the Lizard, rather than a final desperate attempt to get away unscathed. Whether or not this interpretation of the scene is correct or not it still gives the character a bit more agency than some versions have done with their identity reveals.

In Spider-Man 2 Peter starts to lose his powers because he’s having internal conflict about wether or not he should be Spider-Man. Honestly thats kinda neat and i might want to give that a rewatch. As for the one i have seen i don’t have any complaints. I do however prefer the way that Peter was bitten in TAS because it was a result of him poking around where he shouldn’t’ve been rather than him just happening to be standing in the right place for a spider to land on him.

Onto TH’s movies; the way Disney has treated Spidey in the MCU is why TH’s is my least favorite version of the character. I feel like too much of the story revolves around Iron Man; Iron Man made Peter’s suit and equipment, Iron Man introduces Peter to the MCU(via blackmail but thats another rant for another annoyingly long post), its Iron Man that “makes” Spidey in this universe rather than Spidey being self-made. In Homecoming(which remember i havent seen outside of clips so bear with me) most of the conflict is cause directly or indirectly by Tony’s refusal or inabilty to communicate with the teenager he’s meant to be mentoring

For one the entire incident with the ferry could have very easily been avoided had Tony bothered to communicate with Peter enough to tell him that the situation was being taken care of. On top of that at the moive’s climax Peter is shown trying to get in contact with Happy(from what ive picked up isnt he a chauffeur? like idk his deal i just know he’s someone Peter got pawned off onto after Civil War). Peter even goes as far as to somehow hack into Happy’s phone(i think thats what happened it was a weird tech thing that shouldve been a red flag that the call was important though) but instead of listening; Peter is ignored. If this was a different kind of movie Peter literally could have died and itd be the fault of Happy and Tony like..... A large portion of conflict comes from characters being incompetent and not communicating and thats just poor storytelling.

Before this turns too much into an anti mcu rant id also like to say that the way they did Civil War was really dumb considering that Peter defects to Cap’s side in the comics, but whatever.

Also i loathe the way they handled the identity reveal at the end of Far From Home. With MCU movies most people know to expect an end credits scene by now, but typically that scene is not important to understand what’s happening in the films; they just aren’t important. Putting an identity reveal here makes it seem significantly less important than it is. On top of that i dislike their use of J Jonah Jameson for this scene.

JJJ is a character who has been repeatedly shown to have a genuinely good heart. All of his anger comes from a place of love for his city(he even says this hemself in the ps4 game when May writes in to tell him that he needs help). He hates Spider-Man because SM reminds him of the masked man who killed his wife; JJJ has never been able to get past that( and Peter’s antagonism of him definitely doesnt help) However, JJJ has been shown to care for people; he has a son who he often brags about, and one comic shows that JJJ is paying Peter for “amateur” quality photos because he knows that Peter is having a hard time and “just need some help”. JJJ has even learned Peter’s identity before and kept his secret for him(seriously though i cant remember the name of the comic but its defiantly worth the read), and in the original trilogy when Goblin threatens JJJ he claims that he doesn’t know who sends in the photos of Spidey because he does it via email( this is a lie). The MCU will have a very difficult time convincing me that JJJ would ever out a teenager’s identity and put him in danger like that. It goes too far against his character.(this could be hypocritical of me to say considering how i just insisted that multiple versions of a character can exist but whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

This is accidentally turning into an MCU rant but id also like to say that i hate the lack of a TH!Spidey origin movie because it gives you no motivaion for Peter becoming SM or explanation of his powers; most people will know these things but if youre unfamiliar with the character its bound to be confusing(and im a sucker for origin movies)

#long post #spiderman #andrew garfield #The Amazing Spider Man #mcu crit #j jonah jameson #can you tell i care a lot?#cause i do #rant #ramble #this was not proofred #like at all #see theres a typo in that tag!#i would apologize but im not sorry

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shadedrose01 · 4 years

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hey! I absolutely love your writing & I was just wondering if you could do something where peter & Harley are dating but Harley doesn’t post or comment about their relationship and peter gets really insecure thinking it’s cause he’s not good enough 🥺

Honey Lavender

Thanks for the prompt, anon! It's not exactly what you asked for (sorry!), but I hope it's still okay! I hope you, and everybody else enjoys!

Slight Trigger Warning: there are mentions of homophobia, but nothing shown :)

Peter drops his bags onto the guest bed, a cloud of dust puffing into the air and causing him to sneeze.

"Oh dear, we havent dusted this room in a while, I'm sorry love." Ms. Keener ("Call me Macy, dear, we're family!") apologizes, rubbing an arm over the bedsheets to collect any of the remaining dust bunnies still attached to the linen, pieces of her dark chestnut brown hair falling out of her bun and into her face.

Peter flails his arms a bit, trying to reassure her quickly. "No, no, it's okay, its perfect, thank you so much, Ms- Macy." He corrects himself as she sends him a playful glare over her shoulder.

"Miss Macy? That's a new one." Another voice pitches in from the doorframe, cheeky, Harley's thin but muscular body leaning against the wooden panels with a grin highlighting his dimples, his baby blues twinkling.

"Harley James Keener, you be nice now!" Macy chides, leaning closer to smack him upside the head, Harley ducking around her hand with a chuckle. Peter watches the scene with a small smile, with only grows as boyfriend comes to wrap his arms around his waist in a tight squeezed hug.

Peter was (finally) visiting Rose Hill for the first time, after over a year of him and Harley dating, and he couldn't be more excited. He was still battling jetlag, and reeling from all the distinct differences between Rose Hill and Queens ('There's barely any noise out here, no cars horns or people yelling or anything'), but he had always wanted to come, always wanted to meet Harley's family and see just how the southern belle of his had been raised. And just a few minutes in, after having reached the Keener farm and having met Macy and Abbie (a spitfire is the only way he could describe her, he loved her already), he was already learning so much more about the small town life, and about his boyfriend, things he didnt even think about, and he adored it. He loved it with every fiber of his being.

"Ma," Harley whined, plopping his chin onto Peter's shoulder and rocking them back and forth, causing Peter to giggle. "Don't embarass me!" His accent has grown thicker since he came home a few months ago, after staying with Tony for the summer months, and Peter couldnt help how much he loved it, couldnt help the shivers it caused, Harley sending him a knowing look, eyebrow raised. Peter flushes, knowing that's going to be brought up later, during a more personal time.

"Then don't be rude to Peter." She snarks, sending him a sly wink, which causes Harley to rolls his eyes and Peter to laugh. She makes her way towards the door, swaying her hips and humming under her breath, before she pauses to give them both a hard stare, her vibrant green hazel eyes narrowing slightly. "No funny business, you hear me?"

"Aye aye, captain." Harley salutes lazily, grinning as his mom huffs, the smile on her face betraying her true emotions, and walks out the rest of the way, closing the door most of the way on her way out, only leaving it open a crack.

As soon as his mother is out of sight, the old wooden stairs creaking signaling her departure downstairs, Harley grabs on to his hips and spins him around, pressing a kiss to his lips as soon as he can. It was the first time they've been alone together since Peter landed, so he wasnt surprised at the act, just wrapping his arms around Harley's neck, one hand gripping his back and the other running through his hair, pressing them a little closer together and pushing back into the kiss.

"Missed you," Harley mumbles against his lips, before pulling away, a softer, personal smile tilting his lips, his eyes bright like a hot summer's day. A thumb brushes the skin of his hip from under his shirt, small, soothing motions. "Missed you so much."

"I missed you too, baby. So so very much." Peter puts their foreheads together, and shuts his eyes, sighing constantly as they start to rock gently in their embrace, swaying back and forth to an unknown song, to the beat of their hearts and the rhythm of their souls, combined, intertwined.

They spin a few circles together in silence, just breathing each others air and feeling each others heat, being in the moment, before Harley puffs out a breath, and murmurs shakily. "Pete, there's something I gotta tell you."

He opens his eyes, lifting his head to look into Harley's now stormy ones, swirling and churning with a darkness, a sadness that has Peter's stomach twisting, his heart dropping. What happened? Did he do something? What did he do?

Harley goes to tell him, goes to speak when another feminine voice cuts them off from down the hall.

"Harls, your friends are here!" Abbey yells from what sounds like down the stairs, and Harley flinches back, the embrace and the moment broken.

He calls back a quick "Okay, coming!" Before giving Peter a plastic, shaky smile, eyes wide and panicked. "Come on, let's go say hi, I guess."

"Harley-" He doesnt get the words out as Harley grabs his hand and practically starts dragging him down the stairs, and Peter stifles an annoyed (and worried) sigh, knowing that his boyfriend is clearly not going to answer whatever the heck that was upstairs anymore, now that his friends were here.

Oh well. Time to try and make another good first impression.

They slide their shoes on before going out the white, metal swing door, and onto the painted wooden wrap around porch that encompasses the entire front of the Keener residence. Right in front of the doorway, on the dirt driveway, sits two different ATV's, their engines still humming as they sit in park, their riders still sitting on top, one with one person and the other with a passenger. The person right in the front, with a bright orange ATV, lifts up the visor of their helmet, revealing a boy not much younger than Harley, with shaggy brown hair, oval brown eyes and chubby freckled cheeks, pushed up by a smirk.

"Yo Harley, you comin' out?" The boy yells over the hum of the engine, his voice full of teasing, of mirth. He makes eye contact with Peter, whose interovertive instincts cause him to shrink a little under the gaze, and raises an eyebrow, looking shocked, surprised. "Whose that?"

Harley ignores the second question, looking away as he responds to the first with a shrug, "I can't tonight, EJ, sorry."

"Oh come on, Harls!" The passenger on the other ATV chimes in, a younger girl with curly ginger hair and green eyes, her arms wrapped around the driver. "You never come out anymore."

"And you never answered his question, dude." The driver chimes in, finally, the older man's deeper voice rumbling lower than the engine of the machine, his gray eyes harsh and cold, his lips tilted in a disapproving frown. He nods his head towards Peter, who is now standing dumbly at Harleys side, as he asks, "Who is he? Your boyfriend?"

There's something about the way the man spits out the word that causes a flair of fear, of bubbling anger to rise in his chest, and Peter opens his mouth to spit back, to say loud and proud that why yes, yes he is, when-

"What?" Harley sputters, laughing anxiously, the sound sounding all fake and wrong. "No, of course not! I'm not gay!"

And Peter's heart stops.

His head shoots over to stare at Harley with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, but Harley isnt looking his way, wont look his way, his eyes averted and looking anywhere else but him, and Peter's heart his crumbling, his lung tightening and his throat squeezing as tears fill his eyes.

...what?

"He's just a- a family friend, and I gotta say behind to watch 'em, you know how it is." Harley gazes straight forward as he says this, his voice unwavering, but monotone, obviously forced to Peter but apparently not to his friends as they all laugh and nod.

"Okay, good! You had us worried there for a sec." The boy, EJ, snickers, before putting his visor back down, revving his engine for seemingly no reason. "We'll see ya later?"

"Yeah! Cya!" Harley yells back as the engines roar back to life, the trio pulling out of the driveway and shooting off down the road again, the bright orange ATV doing a wheely on the way down.

Theres a few moments of nothing, a few shattered heartbeats where the two listens to the roars fade into the distance, before Peter cant stands it anymore, turning on foot and racing back into the house, hearing the metal swing door clanging against the frame of the house. Hearing Harley call out to him, and as his vision starts to blur, he moves faster, pushing past Abbie with a mumbled apology before rushing up the stairs, taking two at a time, and making it to the guest bedroom slamming door behind him, causing the wood to splinter slightly.

As soon as the door is shut and locked, tears pool out of his eyes as he breaks down, pressing a hand to his mouth to stifle his sobs as he sits on the dusty, creaking bed, curling into himself as he hears heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, and another lighter pair coming after that, hears Abbie mutter something jokingly and Harley hiss out a response before the knocking and pleading start.

"Pete? Please open up, I'm sorry, let me explain-"

"Explain what?" He tries to snap, tries to yell and bite and sneer, but it comes out as a sob, weak and shaky. "How you apparently aren't gay? How I'm a 'family friend'?" Peter whimpers into his hands, rubbing at his eyes to try and get rid of the frustrating tears pouring out of them. It's stupid, he was so, so stupid.

"No, Pete-" Theres a light thunk, like Harley leaned his forehead against the door with a little too much force. Theres a sigh, low and sad, before Harleys voice comes back, still pleading, but softer, full of sorrow, "It's- It's not like that-"

"Isnt it!? You don't want to tell them a-about me, I-I get it." He does, he really truly does. He's just boring old, useless, nobody Peter Parker, while Harley is... well, Harley. So he gets it. He just doesn't understand why it hurts so damn much.

"Peter-" Now, he sounds choked, like Peter's pain is starting to get to him too, like the heartbreak is contagious. "Please, baby, let me in. Let me explain, please. I promise you, it's not what you think."

Theres a pause, and Peter hates himself, hates himself for considering it, hates himself for getting up, hates himself himself for agreeing with it, unlocking the door and stepping back just in time for Harley to open it swiftly, looking frazzled, hair askew and eyes wide, teary, his cheeks wet.

Their eyes reconnect, Peter's spilling brown to Harley's ocean blues, and whatever look is on Peter's face causes Harleys to crumble, and rush out, "I want to tell them! A-about us, I do, god, I want to tell them so bad, Pete, but-" He sighs long and low, eyes falling downcast, head bowed in shame. "They're homophobic, Pete. Everyone in this town is." Peter's heart thumps painfully in his chest, and so many different questions swirl in his head, but he swallows them down, letting Harley continue, voice tight, fearful, shaky. "I got lucky with my mom, my sister, I thought they were gonna hate me too when I first came out, I was-" his breath hicks. "I was so ready for them to kick me out and not look twice, but they didnt, and I'm lucky, Peter, I'm lucky. If the town found out, they'd- they'd tell ma to bring to therapy, to Church, to fix me like I'm some broken toy." He spits it out, bitter, angry, and the fire and ache in Peter's chest is slowly receding, slowly fading the more Harley talks and the more he understands. Harley sighs again, and his shoulders slump, eyes growing misty. "I wish I could tell them about us, Pete, I really really do. I wish I could scream it from the rooftops how much I adore you, but I just-"

"Can't." Peter finishes, wiping the drying tears off of his cheeks.

"Yeah." He whispers, squeezing his eyes shut, a few trickles falling. "I'm sorry, baby. Im so sorry. I didn't want to say any of that. I didnt mean any of it. I'm sorry."

Peter glances up at him, sees the way Harley looks, with his hunched frame, head low, eyes shut, tears streaming down his red face, lips trembling, hands shaking, and makes a wounded noise at the back of his throat, taking a few steps forward and pulling the boy into a tight hug.

How was he supposed to stay mad at him when he looked like that? When everything is out of his control, when he's only doing what he has to for his safety, for his life.

Harley stiffens in his embrace, before slumping forward into him, grasping at the back of his hoodie and burying his wet face into the crook of Peter's neck, shivering with a sob. "Its okay," Peter whispers, kissing the side of his head and rocking them gently back and forth, just like they had done earlier, before this misunderstanding, before this mess. "It's okay. I'm sorry for misunderstanding."

Harley shakes his head, sniffling. "No, no, you didnt- didnt know. I'm sorry I said those things."

Now its Peter's turn to shake his head, pressing another kiss to his head, this time behind his ear. "Its *okay*," Peter reiterates, reassures, and Harley sighs, his warm breath puffing against Peter's chest.

"No it isn't." Harley responds remorseful, his grip tightening. "I shouldnt have to do this. I shouldn't have to pretend, to lie. But I have to. I'm going to continue to have to."

"I know," Peter murmurs, rubbing a firm hand up and down his trembling boyfriend's back. "I know. It's okay, I understand now. Understand that you don't mean it." He pauses, shutting his eyes and hooking his chin on Harleys shoulder. "You're right though. You shouldn't have to do this. And I'm so so sorry that you have to live like this, especially around your friends, but-" He pulls away, opens his eyes, and places a hand on each of Harley's freckled tear stained cheeks, looking dead in his azure, shining, red rimmed but still so beautiful, so so beautiful eyes, and tells him firmly, promising, "One day, I'm going to get you out of here, away from this town and it's people, and you'll never have to deal with this again. Okay?"

Harley's face crinkles again, but this time its with joy, with love, a smile growing on his face as more tears trickle down his cheeks. "Okay." He murmurs, soft, shaky, but honest, but true.

Things may not be perfect, but one day, Peter thinks as he pulls his boyfriend, the love of his life, his soulmate in for another big hug, one day, they will be. As long as he gets to stay by Harley's side, everything will be okay. He's sure of it.

#parkner #harley keener/peter parker #harley keener #peter parker #tw: mentions of homophonia #tw: homophobia #fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #ask #shade answers #mcu #marvel mcu #thanks anon!#❤❤

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