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#i keep forgetting things and hurting myself. i'm getting scared.
cinnamon-phrog · 5 months
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Can I please have some comfort right now, if that's okay? People are watching me.
#i'm being impersonated and harassed#every day people in my past still try to find me. and i'm scared#not of what they might find. i have nothing to hide. but it's the constant fear of being watched and never being free#i'll never be free from the people who hurt me because they'll always find me somehow#i shouldn't be feeling so awful but at the same time.#i pour myself out to help others yet in return i get 'oh it doesn't bother me' and 'i've had it worse'. as if i doubt that for a second.#but please. not everyone has the same amount of emotional endurance. my patience has worn completely thin.#people i've known on here to be the most disgusting scum of the earth who no matter how many times i block them still show up in my inbox.#people from my old school still think they can get to me. a person who lied to me still wastes their time watching me#someone who i cared about the most probably still watches on and it's breaking me.#it always has been but i'm the sensible one. i'm not allowed to do this. i shouldn't be writing this but i'm getting desperate#i've taken deep breaths. i've drank water. i've done everything plus things i should not have to ease it off.#maybe the reason why i love puppets and artificial characters because i'm always used like one. like i'm a toy to break or put away#stupid analogy everyone has made for themselves but i'm done trying to be a good writer. the composer.#i want to feel without being judged but of course that's impossible. it's fine when it's strangers but relentless stalkers? it's wrecking m#it has been for ages but i was scared to say because i'm used to apathy and false promises.#i keep forgetting things and hurting myself. i'm getting scared.
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I know he's upset with me cause I've been avoidin him and generally been difficult for days now... Kinda wish he'd get angry already instead of this. Passive aggressive thing. Can't tell if he's still tryin to keep his cool or if he's doin it cause he knows it fucks with me worse than actually hurtin me.
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renren-006 · 25 days
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"I know" | Daryl Dixon x Fem reader
word count: 739
a/n: A short little Daryl story! I know you all love my Daryl fics, and I can see how much support they are getting, so I would love to write your ideas if you have any!!
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“I want to go with you” you told him, the gravel crunched underneath your feet as you toyed with the ground. He looked up at you from where he was fixing his bike.
“Nah” he said, tuning back to the parts he was trying to fix.
“Daryl”you said,
“No. ait putting ya in danger” he said standing up now and staring at you. 
“D…” you tried.
“Y/N, I'm not arguing with you on this,” Daryl said sternly. You looked at him, not breaking eye contact before you turned back towards the prison. “Y/N,” he called after you. You ignored him.
The rest of the day, you didn’t speak or look his way, keeping to Carol's side. You loved the man, and he still treated you like a child. You were not some young girl anymore; you were twenty now, older, and you knew what you wanted. You also knew you could take care of yourself, especially when running. That next day, Daryl was the one to ignore you, mainly because Carol fussed at him for shutting you down and for being an idiot.
“You can’t be that stupid, Daryl,” she told him as they sat outside smoking cigarettes. Daryl shook his head, his elbows on his knees as he bent over.
“I want to protect her,” he told Carol, “but she’s a kid, and she’s…hardheaded.” 
“Like someone else I know,” Carol said, Daryl shook his head. “you should just tell her why you shut her out”
“I will”
“You don’t tell her tomorrow, I'm not giving you dinner,” she said, putting out her cig and walking back inside before Daryl could protest.
Daryl did everything but tell you the reasons behind his actions. That day, you stomped around the prison, finding task after task to fill your mind and time. You wanted to talk to him, but the look on his face when he looked at you scared you. 
The more you worked, the more Daryl wanted to pull you away to talk. It was almost sunset when Daryl finally stormed over to you outside. You were holding gear to repair the fence after one of the kids got scratched on it when he had come over to you. He snatched the wire cutters and pliers from your hands and threw them on the ground. You were in shock, standing there with a gaping mouth and open hands. Next, he undid your belt in such a swift motion you felt you were going to lose your mind. The gear belt fell to the ground when he finally clutched those open hands and dragged you far into the field.
“what the fuck?” you asked when he let go. He walked forward keeping his back to you. “Daryl what the absolute fuck?”
“i don’t want ya getting hurt” he said,
“what? Is this about the other day”
“yea” he said, finally turning towards you. “I don't want ya on supply runs” 
“I'm not some kid anymore Daryl, I can make my own decisions. I can…I can decide for myself,” you yelled back at him. You were angry, and rightfully so, he wasn't just telling you to stop working but to stop seeking to go on supply runs.
“I know,” he said, stepping forward. “I know, i just ain't used to…”
“Used to what?” you asked, wanting to know how his mind was working. 
“You're being so forward with me,”  he said. “I ain’t used to it and it drives me crazy”
“I'm sorry…I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable “ you said thinking the man wanted you to stop trying to be with him or get him to realize that the mechanic biker drove your feelings crazy.
“Nah. It makes me want to do things to you, even though I know I can’t,” he said. You froze. He wanted things with you? He tried to do things to you? Your heartbeat was going wild. 
“What can’t you do?” you asked. Heat was laced in your voice, and he knew it. He could tell you wanted him to do things to you. 
“Everything, " he told you. You closed the space between you, pulling Daryl's lips down towards you. He melted into the kiss, forgetting about the world beyond.
“You can do everything with me,” you said once you broke apart, “you just haven’t let yourself believe that”
“I know,” he said again before kissing your lips and tasting you again.
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ohisms · 1 year
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↪ 𝑫𝑶𝑵'𝑻 𝑺𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑬 𝑨𝑻 𝑴𝑬 . ( a collection of lyric starters from an assortment of billie eilish songs . adjust phrasing as necessary . )
you scared me to death .
there's nothing left to save now .
i don't think i caught your name .
i like it when you take control .
you're sacred and they're starved .
how dare you ? and how could you ?
one of us is gonna lose .
i don't even really know how it happened .
i'm out of sympathy for you .
just let me hold you .
don't talk about me like you might know how i feel .
try not to abuse your power .
i wish someone had told me i'd be doing this by myself .
it's not like me to be so mean .
you just want what you can't have .
would you like me to be quiet ?
i haven't slept since sunday .
i don't want to want you .
it hurts , but i know how to hide it .
i'm the only one who does it how you like .
you better keep your head down .
a lot can change in twenty seconds .
why aren't you scared of me ?
i thought that i was special .
you're looking at me like i'm see-through .
you were a hero , you played the part .
i never really know how to please you .
see what you wanna see .
gold's fake , and real love hurts .
no way , i'll call the cops .
maybe you should leave before i get too mean .
i just wanted to protect you .
you only listen to your fuckin' friends .
they're never gonna give you love like ours .
all you wanna do is kiss me .
don't you know too much already ?
it's weird that we care so much until we don't .
i didn't change my number , i changed who i reply to .
i don't know what feels true .
did you really think this is the right thing to do ?
i would hate to see you go .
i'd never treat me this shitty .
i'll only hurt you if you let me .
you made me feel like it was my fault .
now i know what you are .
i feel more and more like i was made for you .
you wanna kill me ? you wanna hurt me ?
don't try to make me feel bad .
wait , you know what ? maybe just forget it .
was i made from a broken mold ?
you want me to be yours , then you've gotta be mine .
tell me "nothing lasts" , like i don't know .
wait a minute , let me finish .
you know i'm not your friend without some greenery .
my demands aren't high to make .
stop , what the hell are you talking about ?
we both know i'm worth waiting for .
you ruined everything good .
you really know how to make me cry .
your love feels so fake .
i wanna be alone . alone with you , does that make sense ?
spit it out , what is it exactly ?
i'll never let you go .
if we were meant to be , we would've been by now .
you can pretend that you don't miss me .
just fucking leave me alone .
don't say i didn't warn you .
it's pretty cool , right ?
i think i might have fallen in love .
i tried not to upset you .
do you even feel anything ?
don't ask questions , you don't wanna know .
i've been walking through a world gone blind .
i just wanna make you feel okay .
i know you don't care , but can you listen ?
don't you know i'm no good for you ?
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allysunny · 4 months
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(You're) My Antidote Pt. 2 | Miguel O'Hara x Fem!Reader
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ˡᵒᵛᵉˡʸ ᵐᶦᵍᵘᵉˡ ᵃʳᵗ ᵇʸ ᴷ⁵ⱽᵉʳˢᵉ ᵒⁿ ᵀʷᶦᵗᵗᵉʳ
ᵖᵃʳᵗ ¹ | ᵖᵃʳᵗ ² | ᵖᵃʳᵗ ³
Synopsys: It has been a few weeks ever since Miguel saw you glitch due to the antidote he'd given you. He's far too afraid to face you, and hasn't seen you in a while. Peter B. Parker talks some sense into his head, reminding him of what's truly important.
Words: 2.6k words
Warnings: Angst, fluff, exhausted-Miguel, but also very soft-Miguel, Peter B. being a great father and having actually good advice, pain and screaming, syringes, blood, untranslated Spanish (please correct me if any of it is wrong!). Do mention if I forgot something!
A/N: Hey everyone! So, I've finally gotten around to write Part 2 of this fic (I had nearly forgotten about it, so I'm very, very sorry for the delay), but here it is! I hope you all enjoy it, and I hope it was worth the wait!
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“Miguel?”
The voice that called out to him was gentle, soft. The one voice he could listen to for hours and hours without ever getting tired.
Yours.
“Miggy… Wake up, my love…” He could feel your soft, deft fingers brushing his brown locks away from his face. You liked to get a good view of him at all times. You played with his hair for a while, and he hummed in satisfaction. He’d stay like this forever if he could, lost in your embrace and your touch, time suspended just for the two of you.
“Miggy, wake up… C’mon, we have things to do…”
No, all he had to do was stay in bed with you, while you ran your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp and making him forget about all his problems.
And then you tugged on his hair harder.
“Miguel?”
No Miggy? And why were you tugging on his hair so harshly? What was happening?
Ouch – that’d been a particularly hard tug. What the shock were you up to? It was far too early for you to be playing these sorts of games with him.
“Miguel? Miguel!”
Miguel’s eyes flashed open, and he blinked away the sleep.
Before him, was a red-haired baby, staring curiously at him, and back at her hand. Peter B. Parker quickly scooped her in his arms, talking to her in a soothing voice.
“C’mon Mayday, you’ve played with his hair enough. Let’s not hurt dad’s boss, alright? Give him a break.”
“¿Que coños estás haciendo aqui?” Miguel grumbled, running a hand through his now messy hair. It was bad enough he was asleep and not actually next to you but having mistaken Peter B.’s voice for yours annoyed him to no end.
“Jessica asked me to check up on you. According to her, you weren’t even supposed to be here.” Peter replied as his child climbed all over him and pointed her tiny web-shooters at the wall. “
“Yeah, well, I’m working. Not sure if you’re familiar with the concept,” he grumbled again, facing the monitors in front of him. Files and files and files on you, your health, your life, your family tree, his family tree, his DNA, just anything he could get his hands on. He’d fallen asleep on top of papers, each with a different combination of chemicals and elements, all of them experiments on a new antidote for you.
Failed experiments.
“I am familiar with the concept of work, Miguel, but it’d never occur to me to work myself to exhaustion while my wife suffered by herself at home.”
This seemed to get Miguel’s attention. Every single Spider-Person in the Society had warned Peter not to bother Miguel, and most importantly, to keep you off his mouth. Everyone knew what was happening to you at this point.
Pregnant with Miguel’s child, who was slowly killing you from the inside with 50% of his Spider DNA.
And everyone also knew that Miguel had been spending unhealthy amounts of time inside his office instead of at home, by your side. They were, of course, all far too scared to say something. He didn’t seem to budge, not to subtle pleas, not to direct asking. He was hellbent on finding a cure.
Miguel’s nostrils flared and he huffed, raising a finger, and pointing right at Peter’s face.
“This is none of your business, Parker.” He said through gritted teeth, anger evident in his eyes.
“Yeah? Well, I don’t care. You might not care about anyone’s lives other than hers, but I am a husband too. And I would ditch everything – and I mean everything – to be with her at a time like this. Especially if I knew… If I knew she might…”
Miguel slammed his hands down on his desk, the sound echoing through his office.
“Do not finish that sentence. Don’t you dare.” Although he was furious, his voice was nothing but a whisper, and tears threatened to spill from his eyes.
“Alright, I won’t. And then what, Miguel? Forget this. Go home to [Y/N]. She needs you right now.” Mayday crawled on her father’s arms once again, and he rocked her gently. “Think about how she must be feeling. Terrified, all by herself, without her husband by her side.”
Miguel’s shoulders hunched. He was usually a tower of a man. But right now? He felt as small as possible.
“I can’t go back home,” he whispered, shoulders shaking. “I can’t go back home without an antidote. How am I supposed to face her? How am I supposed to look her in the eyes and tell her, her supposed genius of a husband can’t find a cure to the child that’s killing her?” When Miguel turned to face Peter, he was crying, and his eyes were drowning in sorrow. “Her screams, Peter… No man should hear such screams come from his wife… And I’m failing her… I don’t know what to do…”
Peter was stumped.
He’d never seen the cold, apathetic, always professional leader of the Spider Society behave like this. Sure, he seemed to be heartless and a jerk, but he knew that when it came to you, Miguel was willing to hold the weight of the world in his shoulders.
And it seemed like right now, he was.
Peter placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“Go home, Miguel. Go to her. You really think you’ll ever disappoint her? She knows how hard you’ve been working for her. Just… Go to her, alright? Before you can’t and you blame yourself for the rest of your life.”
Peter’s words did something to Miguel, and he felt his heart ache. Slowly he nodded.
“Thank you.” Nothing else needed to be said. Miguel wasn’t one for words, but Peter recognised the weight behind the ones he had just uttered.
Within seconds, a portal had been opened, and Mayday was happily waving at the man that walked through it.
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The house was quiet. Almost too quiet, but he quickly picked up on the sound of the TV coming from your shared bedroom. He took off his shoes and made his way to the source of the noise.
If Miguel were speaking the truth, he’d say he was terrified. He had spent the past two weeks working non-stop to find a cure and had only checked on you three times.
He was dealing with a bunch of different emotions, all gut-wrenching in nature and far too difficult to understand. He didn’t want to see you like this, feeble, weak, laying down in bed as the baby growing inside of you sucked what little was left of your life. He wanted to remember you vibrant and full of life, full of colour and smiles.
He didn’t want you to see him like this either. Tired, exhausted, dishevelled. Dark bags under his eyes, oily hair that had seen better days. He’d been working non-stop for you.
He didn’t want to come home only to tell you he couldn’t find an antidote yet, that you’d have to suffer more. Couldn’t deal with the failure.
But (as much as he hated to admit it), Peter was right.
Although he wasn’t ready to accept defeat, he didn’t want to take the time he had with you for granted. Shock, he’d been doing far too much of that.
He approached your bedroom and his gaze settled on you, neatly tucked in your bed, hands rubbing soothing circles on your belly.
You looked pale. Fragile, He was afraid to even speak, should the quietest whisper tear you apart.
And still, you turned your head to face him, and the whole world lit up within your smile.
“MIggy!” You exclaimed and tried your best to sit up even straighter. You opened your arms for him, and, just like a moth to a flame, he was instantly drawn to you. He kneeled by your side and laid his head near your hands. Your fingers reached into his hair and massaged his scalp, just like you knew he liked.
“Lo siento…” he sobbed into the mattress, afraid to meet your eyes. “Lo siento tanto, cariño…”
“Shhhh…” you tutted, hands reaching to his jaw, so you could cup it and force him to look up. When he tries to look away, you grip his chin with whatever strength you have left, and he finally meets your eyes. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
“No, my love, I’m so sorry, I’ve been so focused – ”
“I know,” there were tears in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Miguel was always so strong for you. It was your turn to be the strong one. How ironic. “But you’re here. You’re with me. With him.”
“Him?” Miguel asked, looking at your belly.
“I just feel it.” You offered him a smile, and he tried his hardest to reciprocate, ignoring the ache in his chest. Ever since he’d seen you glitch, Miguel had been afraid to show even the smallest of smiles. He was afraid the smallest of joy he felt around you would be taken away just as quickly.
After the first time, he’d refused to give you any more of that godforsaken antidote. Still, there’d been aftershocks. The following days, he’d seen you glitch once or twice, but it eventually faded away with time. On one hand, he was glad.
On the other, it only made him worry more. The glitching was over.
But you were still in pain.
“Mind if I sit next to you?” he asked, taking your hand in his and kissing it.
“Only if you shower first. You reek of Spider Society, Miggy, and the sheets are clean.”
He smiled once again and did as you asked, hopping in the shower, and washing the exhaustion and grime of the day off him. When he was ready, he put on a pair of sweatpants and walked into the bedroom, relishing in the way your breath hitched as you looked at his bare torso.
“Necessitas algo, mi amor?” he asked, raising an eyebrow comically. You looked away, cheeks heating up with embarrassment. You’d been married for years, and he still had this effect on you.
“Yeah, for you to get under the covers with me right now. But put a shirt on - you’re distracting me from my show!” Miguel chuckled, and he was surprised at how long it’d been since he’d last heard it.
“What’re you watching?” he asked, lifting the covers so he could sit next to you. He did so gently, afraid to disturb your peace – and the baby inside of you that thank heavens was giving you some rest.
“Pasiones Entrelazadas,” you replied, leaning into him. His touch had you melting, and you pointed at the television in front of you. “Isabella was getting married to Luis, but his evil twin Diego kidnapped him and took his place, and now Isabella thinks Diego is Luis.”
“Huh.”
“Yeah, and Marisol, their mom, well, she’s totally on Diego’s side, because if it weren’t for Luis, Diego would be the heir to her ex-husband’s money.”
“And why doesn’t she like Luis? Isn’t he her son as well?” Miguel shook his head, trying to keep up with the plot of another of your wacky shows.
“Well, Luis is actually the son of another man.”
“¿Qué?!”
“So, Marisol actually slept with two men when she was younger. She was married to Xavier, this big CEO guy, but she’s a little slut so she was fooling around with Antonio on the side. Xavier found out and divorced her. She found out she was pregnant shortly after. Luis is Antonio’s son, but Diego is Xavier’s. And if it weren’t for Luis, Diego would be entitled to his father’s fortune.”
Miguel was too stunned to speak.
“[Y/N], mi amor, that makes no sense.”
“Shhhh – Isabella is about to sleep with Diego!” You shushed him again, gesturing with your hands to keep him quiet.
“How can they be twins and still – “
“Shhhhhhhh!”
Miguel sighed.
“Fine, fine. Let’s watch.”
And you did.
For about ten minutes, before you fell asleep on his shoulder – not a rare thing to happen.
With all the care in the world, Miguel eased you down, fetching your pillow and propping it against your belly in the way he knew provided most comfort. He leaned over your body and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek.
Perhaps all would be right. Perhaps you could endure this together, as long as you had each other. Perhaps, all would be okay.
These were Miguel’s thoughts as he drifted to sleep.
And then they were promptly interrupted by a loud, shrill scream, and the body next to him contorting in pain.
“Honey? Honey, I’m here!” He yelled, turning on the lights and sitting up to get a good look at you. You were sitting up as well, hands instinctively wrapped around your stomach. It’d become your priority after you got pregnant – the baby came first. Even if it was the very thing that was killing you.
Miguel could see you convulsing, limbs twitching and twitching, and you kept on screaming. He quickly sprinted towards his home office, opened a drawer on his desk and removed the (original) antidote and its gun, returning to your bedroom in the blink of an eye.
He basically threw himself on his knees next to you and grabbed your arm.
Once you realised what he was about to you, you tried prying your arm from him, crying loudly.
“No!” you screamed, tears streaming down your face. “P-Please! Don’t – Miggy, don –” your words were interrupted as another scream was ripped out of you. You fell flat on the bed as your body twitched, and Miguel had to try his best to keep himself under control. The woman he loved the most was suffering. She was convulsing and screaming some of the most blood-curdling, truly horrifying screams he’d ever heard. And yet, she was begging him not to use the antidote on her.
“My love, I’m so sorry… I have to…” he said, grabbing hold of your arm once again.
“No!” You sobbed, thrashing around the bed, silk sheets flying in every direction. “You’ll hurt him! God – no, please! Miggy, it hurts! Miggy, no –“ Another scream.
And another.
And another.
And another.
Miguel had two choices. He could stand by and watch as whatever was inside of you killed you. He could simply wait it out and watch as unimaginable pain consumed your every limb. He could wait and see what happens.
He could wait. And it’d be too late.
Shock it.
He did not need to think it twice. Miguel grabbed your arm and injected the antidote in your veins.
You were still in a matter of seconds, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling with tears in your eyes.
“Miggy?” you whispered; voice nearly broken.
Miguel looked at you and slowly brushed the hair away from your sweaty forehead.
“I’m here, mi amor. I’m here,” he repeated these words over and over again, reassuring you with his voice.
“Miggy… I think…” your eyes teared up once more. “Miggy I… I peed myself…” You closed your eyes and cried silently, looking away from him, which made Miguel’s heart break. You’d gone through thick and thin together, and peeing yourself was going to make him think less of you?
“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” Miguel got up and slowly peeled the bedsheets from you to reveal your exposed legs.
That’s when all the air was sucked out of his lungs.
You hadn’t peed your pants. Not at all.
That was blood.
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A/N: And that's it! I hope you've all liked it, hehehe. I'm sorry if the show seemed real shitty - I used to watch telenovelas with my nana when I was younger, and I swear their plots were all like this. We'd then sit on her porch and discuss whatever wacky plot was going on this time. It was fun.
Anyways, I hope you all have an amazing day ahead!
Taglist
@tarjapearce , @estella-satn , @meganswife , @cold-blooded-girls , @marcswife21 , @edgycatx
I'm not very sure how to tag people, so in case this doesn't work, I'm sorry!!!
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risuola · 8 months
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BIRTHDAY GIFT — F. READER x GOJO SATORU
Sometimes you forget about your own birthday, but no worries, Satoru's got you. He always remember, and he even prepared a very special gift for you.
cw: fluff, no warnings — 2,8k words
a/n: i turned 28 this week, so here i am indulging myself with a fictional party, because i hate real parties. also i'm not sure if the picture in the middle is an official art or the fan art, i claim no rights to it 🩶
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“Thanks Kento,” you addressed the blonde, when you got out of the bathroom in his house. “You’re saving my life.”
“No need to thank me,” he responded with the ghost of a smile on his face, and you checked yourself in the mirror. You looked tired, but other than that, thankfully normal, which wasn’t the case just half an hour ago, when you finished your job in the field.
It was a simple mission – get to the place, exorcise a bunch of curses, nothing out of ordinary and nothing especially difficult to do. Quite the opposite, it went smoothly – it took you three hours to hunt down every single one of the little curses, but their grades were low. One thing you were not told before taking the assignment though, was that those curses had a tendency to ugly explode with purple and green goo as they were exorcised. That’s why, when the job was done, you were covered from head to toe in those slimy curse gut-residuals. It was on your clothes, hands, in your hair and you could have sworn it was in your mouth too. You could feel it, smell it, taste it and damn was it disgusting. Hence why you called Nanami on your way back and thankfully found him at home. His apartment was so near, compared to the way you had to reach Jujutsu high and being the sweetheart that he is, he agreed for you to take a shower at his place and even gave you one of his dress shirts to wear, because your clothes were good for nothing but a trash bag. It was way too big, but with a belt it made for a pretty cute dress actually.
Once you were ready to leave, he got up as well.
“I have a thing to check in school so Ijichi will drive us both,” he explained and you gave it a nod and after that, you two went down to get a ride.
“How are you?”, you asked your friend, while you two were comfortably seated in the back of a car. It’s been a while since you last saw Nanami. “I didn’t even ask.”
“I’m good, thanks y/n,” he once again, gave you the slightest one of his smiles and exhaled deeply. “You’re tired, huh?”
“Ah, it’s nothing. Guess I didn’t sleep well today, it’s all good.” You shrugged it off, looking at the driver. “And you, Ijichi? Satoru’s not bothering you too much?”
“I-I’m fine and no, he’s n-not,” the man stuttered, sweat beads forming on his forehead as he spoke and you chuckled. That poor man was constantly being terrorized by the strongest sorcerer for god knows why.
“So, he is bothering you,” you chuckled and Ijichi laughed nervously, wiping his forehead with a tissue. “You don’t have to be so scared of him, he just likes to assert his dominance but he wouldn’t hurt you. Is he bothering you as well, Nanami?”
“Gojo is always bothering me,” the blonde sighed. “It always amazes me how fondly you speak of him. You really seem to like Satoru.”
“Oh, he’s really not that bad,” a smile spread over your face as you thought about Satoru. “He’s quite charming, actually.”
Truth is, you and Satoru are closer than any of you might wanna admit. You’re co-workers, that’s for sure. Friends, also, you know each other since high school and you kept in touch ever since. You probably know the man more than he knows himself. You’ve also been on few dates. Unofficial dates, of course, more like you just went to the same place, at the same time, just the two of you, and sat at the same table or bench, and talked for hours as you were brushing circles onto the skin of his hands or he was just keeping yours in his palms. Those kinds of dates. Nothing serious.
“As charming as a clown can be, I guess,” Nanami shrugged softly and you giggled. “But you two should get together, it’s only you who he seems to not enjoy annoying.”
“Commitment in our profession doesn’t seem like a great idea.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
The rest of the drive went in calm, you talked with the two in the car about sweet little nothings, sharing meaningless details about your days and maybe Ijichi seemed a little more stressed than usual, but you didn’t notice anything too weird to think about it. That’s why when you pulled off to the school and got to the main building, your heart almost jumped out of your chest at the sudden and incredibly loud ‘surprise!’ being thrown at your face.
“Huh?”, it stunned you to the point of disorientation. Why were all of your students and most of the older sorcerers that you know here? Why all the balloons, confetti and the cake?
“It’s your birthday, dummy,” you quickly were swept by the long arm of no one else but Satoru Gojo, who greeted you with a grin wide and bright and a light squeeze on your shoulder. The gesture was friendly, but you couldn’t deny the warmth that exploded in your chest the moment he touched you.
“My birthday?” Oh yes, your birthday. “God, I forgot about it.”
“I figured, buuuut we didn’t so I hope you have a little bit more power in your batteries to celebrate?”, Satoru led you more into the crowded space and with real surprise you noticed that even Yuuta was here, and students from Kyoto along with Utahime. No Gakuganji though, thanks to the heavens.
It was all surreal but at the same time so grounding to be surrounded by so many people that you find close to your heart. And for the next hours, you forgot about how tired your body was, how disgusting you were earlier that day and how perfectly Nanami acted like he has a real job in the school rather than the party to attend.
You stayed there until very late, enjoying every second of talks and laughs with your friends and students. You caught up with all of them, learned about the progress the teenagers were making, got to know more about how work was for the older sorcerers and even, when outside for a quick fresh air breath, one of the little, flying curses gave you a card with few wishes written in it, with no sign whatsoever, but it was the handwriting that gave it away. Suguru Geto. Even though he went a very different path than the rest of you, even though you all lost contact with him the moment he left around the second year, he had never, not even once, forgotten about your birthday, always delivering a card or something else one way or another. It warmed your heart and sometimes you wished to see him just for a moment to give him one last bear hug. You couldn’t, but the card will go to the box of things you cherish, along with the round, dark shades that no one could see through – the ones that Gojo was wearing while in high school; with Shoko’s first scalpel that she used to practice – the very cheap one that got blunt after just few uses; with one button from Haibara’s uniform – the only one that was left hanging by a thread, when he got back to school one last time and along with many other things you’ll hold onto until the day you die.
“Tired?”, Satoru asked you, when the clock hands moved past 1am. Most of the students were already gone and teachers also began to crumble down, calling it a night.
“Exhausted,” you chuckled softly and squeezed the hand he offered you, helping you get up from the couch.
“Let’s get you to bed, how’s that sound?”
“Perfect.”
With all of the goodbyes done, you gathered your gifts and left with Satoru, heading towards your little apartment. All the way he was keeping your hand in his, grinning like he usually does, but something felt off in the way his fingers were wrapped around you. A little tighter than always, little more possessive – a little more like he was afraid to let go of you even though that would be an irrational fear, because you never wanted anything more than to be held by him.
“Soo,” he began, when you both stepped into your place and you put down all of the bags, “I hope you don’t think I forgot about your gift. Though it’s technically not your birthday anymore.”
“Oh, Satoru, you know I don’t care about the gifts, right?” you smiled at him. “All of this, the party, the people, is more than I could wish for. Every second spent with all of you is worth more than any gift I could receive.”
“Yea, yea,” he waved a hand at you, making you laugh. He made you feel all kinds of weird things, one of which being the urge to slap and kiss him at the same time. “I actually have two gifts for you.”
“Of course you have,” a shake of your head was all you could offer him. Of course, Satoru Gojo had to be extra like that. “So?”
“Sooo, that’s the first one.” You didn’t even question the way he pulled the light-blue bag with a matching ribbon on top of it from behind his back, like he had it all of the time, which you know he didn’t. You took it anyway and before you even peeked inside, you reached up to him and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek, whispering little ‘thank you’. “You’re welcome, now, you can check it later,” almost immediately after the bag landed in your hands, it was snatched away and put down where the other gifts were. “The second gift-“
You looked at him with confusion, realizing that Satoru was… nervous? He was bouncing slightly on his feet, as if he was hyping himself up. He took his glasses off and brushed a hand through his hair.
“Yea?”, you encouraged him to continue, taking him by the hands in hopes to calm him down a little. “What is it? Satoru, don’t tell me you bought me a snow tiger or something?”
“Huh? No, I didn’t. What, you want a snow tiger? You said they are cute, but-“
“No, absolutely not. No snow tigers, please.”
“Ok, wow, I’m more nervous than I was… ever, probably, that’s new,” he laughed at his own composure, or rather the lack of thereof, and now you really began to worry. What the hell did this man did?
“Just say it, I can take it.”
Pulling him by the hands, you took him onto the sofa, now slightly worrying he might really pass out. Doors to your apartment stayed open wide, but that was the least of your worries, when you two sat down and all your eyes could fix on was a man next to you. He looked stunning in his dark grey sweater that exposed a little bit of his collar bones and his long neck, contrasting with his pale skin, light hair and really making his eyes pop. The eyes that made it so easy to get lost. They were like an ocean under the clear sky and bright sunlight, illuminating with thousands of glittering sparkles and the shades of azure and turquoise mixed and flew one into another, intertwining and creating an artwork impossible to recreate. If someone were to animate Satoru, the whole budget would probably go into his eyes alone.
“So, first you need to know that if what I want to give you is not something you feel comfortable accepting, please don’t feel obliged to and just say no. Okay?”, he spoke again and you nodded.
“Come on, Satoru. Just tell me. Or show me, whatever it is.”
“Show you. Alright, I can do that.”
You expected everything. Your mind even wandered into absurd such as him giving you an airplane for god knows what reason, but even in your boldest, bravest dreams you didn’t anticipate his lips on yours. He went all slow and soft about it, closing the distance carefully, leaving you with more than enough time to react and push him away if you wanted to, and when he finally reached you, planting a gentle kiss to your mouth, whilst his hand rested on the side of your neck a little stiffly, you froze for a second. Your body froze, but your heart was racing inside your chest, beating so hard he probably could hear it and feel it in your pulse underneath his palm. Satoru’s lips felt as soft as they looked, so perfect against yours even though what was happening wasn’t even resembling a kiss. It was more like a press with the slightest movement applied but it spoke so much. It was an offer – that way Gojo opened himself to you, ripped his own chest apart and with that simple peck on the lips, he wanted to tell you that now, he’s ready to be vulnerable with you, if you’d only want him to.
“Is my second gift a kiss from you?”, you questioned when he moved his head back just a little, searching for your reaction. It would be on brand for Gojo to consider a kiss from himself a valuable gift, which it was, but if that’s what he wanted to offer you, he had to put more effort into it.
“It’s me. If you’ll have me,” he almost whispered, smoothing over your jawline with his thumb. “Maybe it’s not the best idea to commit to relationship in our line of work, but fuck this. If you’ll have me, I’m yours.”
“Are you serious?”
“Never been more serious.”
Your heart fluttered. Grabbing his face in both of your hands, you went in and kissed him, pouring into it all of the love you held for him and he purred softly against your lips, wrapping his long arms around you and leaning more against you. He outweighed you; you lost your balance and fell back onto the couch and he followed you closely, breaking the kiss just to ask, “is that a yes?”
“Yes, Satoru. Very much yes,” you chuckled and his lips were back on yours, taking your breath away with how good it felt. Your fingers found a way through his silky, snowy white strands, you smoothed over the back of his neck and his broad shoulders, giving into the sensation that radiated throughout your entire nervous system, sending hot waves of pure euphoria down your spine and into every cell in your body. You were happy, the exhaustion now completely forgotten and only the man above you mattered. His weight felt so right on top of you, even in the insanely uncomfortable position you two were now trapped in with your hips twisted below his torso and him now half in the air and half on the couch because there was no way for his height to fit in here. But it didn’t matter. What mattered was his lips on yours, his warmth on your skin and-
“Doors,” you mumbled into the kiss, the gentle whiff of cold air reminded you of what has been forgotten. The doors, that were still wide open. He could feel your chest rumbling with a chuckle as you realized none of you cared enough to even close your apartment when you went in and he made a decision to ignore this fact, now completely consumed by the thought of you. He hummed something and moved his lips lower, smearing kisses all over your chin and down your neck and you tugged softly onto his hair. “Satoru, doors are still opened-”
Getting up, walking towards the entrance and locking the doors would be the logical thing to do, but the thought of parting his own body from yours for even a second now didn’t dare to cross Gojo’s mind, so he stretched his hand towards the doors, consumed by sucking a red spot to the side of your neck and you couldn’t believe it, but he blasted the door with a cursed energy. They shut with the loudest noise anyone could create at that hour in the middle of the night and not ten seconds passed, before they just fell out of frame and hit the floor with another harsh thud.
That seemed to do the trick in stopping the heat, because both of you froze for a moment and you looked to the side, he looked to the side and the world stopped for a whole five second, before you started laughing and playfully patting his shoulder.
“What have you done,” you whined. “Satoruu~”
“I’ll fix this,” he swore, hiding his face back into the crook of your neck, pretending like he wasn’t even there and you couldn’t help but brush through his hair as laughter still had the better of you. “Guess I’ll have to stay the night so you can be safe.”
“Guess that might be necessary.”
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queenofthearchipelago · 3 months
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I feel like the reason some people in the fandom chose to look at the final fifteen in this sort of "I'm team Aziraphale / anti-Crowley" or "I'm team Crowley / anti-Aziraphale" kind of way is because they forget that Crowley and Aziraphale are literally two sides of the same coin.
And everyone either relates more to one side or the other. For me, I relate to Crowley more. I understand him easier. When the final fifteen came, nothing he said confused me or caught me off guard. I gasped and screamed, sure. But I didn't need to analyze his words the way I needed to analyze Aziraphale's.
Does that mean I'm saying I don't relate to Aziraphale at all? No. Honestly, the more I think about Aziraphale, the more I see myself in him too. It's just that the bits of Aziraphale I relate to are either bits of myself that are harder to see, or bits of myself I don't like.
And so when I watch the final fifteen as a separate person, not part of the coin, I relate to one side more than the other (I relate to both sides equally but it's hard to accept that sometimes.) But I also have to be honest with myself.
If I weren't just the audience, would I be Aziraphale or Crowley?
Would I be Crowley, not letting myself back into a toxic relationship that hurt me? Would I want to run and yell at the sky so that they couldn't find me anymore? Would I want to just allow myself the life where I could have one good thing I've found in the entire universe?
Or would I be Aziraphale? Would I allow myself to be convinced (or manipulated) into going back to a place that hurt me? Or, depending on your theory, would I go back into the lion's den and try to change the system that oppresses me? Would I want to make the world a better place for the person I loved most, even if it was dangerous? Even if they began to hate me for it? (Not that I think Crowley hates him, but what does Aziraphale think that Crowley thinks of him?)
I know myself enough to know that I'm Crowley. I wanna run. I'm scared and I love you and we can be safe if we just keep going forward. Why are you asking me to go back there? To them? You know what they did! You're enough for me, everything to me, why are you chosing them over just allowing yourself to have me?
There's a bit of me that's Aziraphale. A bit of me that would go back, if I truly thought I could fix it. If I was the better manipulator.
But I think not everyone can do that, they see themselves in one OR the other. They take sides because they can't see both sides. And honestly maybe that's part of the point of Heaven and Hell in the show in the first place. They don't see the value of the other side. The merits, the thoughtfulness. The shades of grey of it all.
Maybe most people who are anti Aziraphale can't relate to that desperate tone Michael Sheen chose to use when he said that Heaven is the side of good. Can't relate to desperately needing to hope that this place you come from is still somehow good at the core. Because how could you come from corruption?
And maybe most people who are completely obliterating Crowley's character in the tags don't relate to the bursting need to just be free of the things that hold you back from every good thing you've ever wanted for yourself.
I see myself in both. I've been there. I'd be Crowley out of the two of them. But I see Aziraphale now. The more I think of him the more I understand him.
As much as I ask questions (so many questions) that get me in trouble, I also refuse to ask them out loud for the same reason.
I have people in my life who think I have this incredible capacity to think everything through. Every possible avenue of consideration. And I also have people in my life who get frustrated with me for not thinking hard enough or fast enough.
I have made some difficult decisions on what was good and what was right and made my choice that I would do what I thought was right over what I was raised to think was good. And I also made some of those decisions in complete agonizing secret.
The true ending for good omens 2 is realizing for yourself, however you get there, that you (yes, YOU) are both of them.
As David and Michael said in the interviews, Aziraphale and Crowley are fascinated and completely infuriated by the other. Because they're so different. Because they're so similar. And if you don't feel the same way yet, relating to one, and being amazed at how you relate to the other. Being fascinated and infuriated by it, then you just haven't reached the end yet.
When I rewatch the very ending of the season these days, I don't see a demon, completely in love with an angel who is leaving him. I see myself watching myself do something I would never do. Except I would do it. I wouldn't, I'd never. And yet I would. And I watch myself get in the car and drive away from the version of me that did.
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hockybish · 4 months
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She's Done With Him
l hughes!sister au l lola hughes l masterlist l
Jack had been making more of a conscious effort to be better to Lola. He still hadn't said sorry for the years of teasing, he wouldn't even know where to begin.
But he was willing to put everything on the line with their relationship when he got a phone call from Mason about this guy named Robbie who Lola was seeing. He couldn't help it, the older protective brother came out when he heard that the douche bag was cheating on her.
"Now you're positive it was Robbie who you saw?" Jack confirmed with the Ducks' player over the phone. It was late in New Jersey and he was tired after a hard fought game.
"Yes, Jack. Even ask Z he was there too."
That was enough for him. Trying to keep his anger in check, he took the number from Mason, promising he would take care of the problem. He wasn't going to do much, maybe just give the kid a little call, and talk.
"Hi Robbie, this is Jack." He paused for a second, waiting for the man on the other end to acknowledge him, but he could heat the hesitancy when Robbie didn't answer "Hughes, Lola's older brother?"
"Oh, you're the one who hates her right?" Jack could feel him smirking through the phone, irking him even more.
"I don't hate her, you know what I don't have to explain myself to you. I know what you've been doing. The girls and the drinking? Especially when she was injured in December."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything wrong. I really like her." Robbie stuttered, a lame attempt at covering his tracks.
"Hm, yeah okay. Tell me was she just one of your side pieces?" Jack asked not believing a thing he was being told by this so called boyfriend. "That's what I thought."
"I didn't, I'm not"
"Break up with her"
"What"
"I said break up with her, or else"
"Or else what? There's nothing you can do to scare me"
"Robbie, there are at least four hockey teams plus countless others who will not hesitate to end you when they hear what you're doing. So break up with her or I'll let them know what you did" Jack threatened.
"You're bluffing"
"Try me. These guys can get really scary. And I'd hate for anything to happen to you."
A few days later Robbie did what Jack told him to do, he broke up with Lola. He didn't tell her why he was or that her brother was practically forcing him to. If he wanted to twist the knife even further, he could have said something. But she was already heartbroken and secretly Robbie was still a little worried Jack was going to send a goon after him.
Lola cried for a couple of days, this wasn't like when she had broken up with Matty, that was more of a mutual decision since they were going in opposite directions and they were better as friends. This break up took her by surprise, she thought they were in a good place, but apparently they weren't.
It hurt and she honestly kind of wanted Buggy her old stuffy from when she was younger. She really considered calling Jack and seeing if he still had it, but she thought better, knowing he probably would have made some snide remark about it, even though lately they had been doing better.
Lola called for an emergency sibling night with Quinn, which helped a lot, but she still swiped the bottle of tequila hidden away and found her way into her previous roommates bed.
After a week of moping around, she picked herself, brushed off the dirt and got back to her life. She worked harder in practice and even spent more time with her friends. Things were really looking up until late in the evening on February 29th.
The Ducks' had gotten in late that evening after playing in San Jose. Lola needed to make a quick run into the store to get something for Ellen that she had forget all the way back in Michigan.
Lola was only going to be a few minutes, but she spotted the one person she never really wanted to see again. She tried to ignore him the best she could, it was Robbie who walked up to her and was the one to start talking. They made pleasant small talk, but she had a nagging question she wanted to ask.
"Can I ask you something real quick? Why did you break up with me?"
"Oh Jack didn't tell you?" Robbie raised his eyebrows in feign shock. "Jack forced me to break up. He threatened that if I didn't, I was gonna get beat up."
Of course Jack had a hand it. Lola should have expected that. Jack ruins everything.
The ride back home was a little quieter. She had some things to think about before she saw her brother later that day.
After the game the Hughes clan were planning on getting dinner at a nice restaurant before Luke and Jack jetted off to the next destination. Lola was going to give them a ride. As soon as she saw Luke she gave him a hug and glared at the other one before making her move.
"What the fuck?" Jack's face stung as Lola's palm hit him on the cheek.
"You told him to break up with me? I how could you? I was happy. Why couldn't you let me be happy for once? You always mess everything up!"
"Clem you can be mad at me all you want, I was just trying to protect you."
"Don't you dare call me that. You don't have that right anymore. because I hate you. I hate you Jack." She spat in his direction.
After what seemed like years of her older brother hating her for apparent reason Lola had had enough of it and was completely done with Jack. Wanting nothing more to do with her older brother, this is when she decided to cut him out of her life, even if it meant she was going to have to cut Quinn and Luke out too.
"You don't mean that. Clem -" Jack knew he had taken it too far this time, but all he had been trying to do was protect his sister. And sometimes that made him the bad guy.
Lola gave him a look that ultimately broke his heart because he knew she meant it. She truly hated him, but he would rather her hate him, than see her with a broken heart over a guy who couldn't keep it in his pants.
"Lola. I'm sorry. Please take it back." Jack pleaded. He looked back at Luke and Quinn for help, but he was on his own with this.
"No, Jack. I mean it this time."
"Lola." She slapped him again and was getting ready to do it again. She wasn't one to hit or attack anyone, but tonight she couldn't help herself with her anger.
"Jack. I think you need to leave." Trevor pushed Lola behind him towards Jamie and Mason, putting himself in between the two siblings. Similarly Luke tried to grab ahold of jack's arm and pull him away.
The drive from the Honda Center to their shared home wasn't long, but playing a big game and the emotions from her argument took its toll and Lola fell asleep on the ride home. Mason didn't want to wake her, he opted to carry her in instead placing her in her bed and throwing her favorite blankets on top.
"Stay." Lola reached out, grabbing onto Mason's wrist, effectively stopping him in his tracks. "I don't want to be alone. Please Mason?"
The older boy obliged, he sighed crawling into the bed next to her. Lola flipped around to face him, she reached out for his face and ran her thumb across his face as they fell asleep.
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mehiwilldoitlater · 5 months
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The atmosphere was as tense as a violin chord, thick and heavy as a blanket.
Yae eyes darted from Ei figure, calmly sipping tea from her cup, enjoying from time to time some small bite of the mochis on her plate, to you, clearly upset by something by the glares that you threw to the Shogun, who was obviously ignoring your attiotude.
Usually the afternoon at the Shogun residence, where the three of you shared some good chatting, news, and gossip from the towns, was a moment of pure relaxation and nothingless. It was the moment when the Raiden Shogun, the Head Maiden of the Narukami Shrine, and the Creator weren't such mighty and important figures, but just three friends who loved to spend some quality time together.
At least that was the case for the other days, since now there are some problems between you and the Shogun.
"Oh my, I wonder. You both are so chattering today. I'm guessing that whatever happened between you two must have been quite an event."
Before speaking, Ei's eyes sparked toward her friend. Did she really need to bring that up?!
"Me and Y/N had a discussion a few hours ago."
"We argued-"
You corrected, noticing Ei eyes rising toward you in the same glare.
"About some matters that aren't supposed to be on their minds right now."
"Um, um, and...what are those matters, to be precise?"
"I asked her to teach me how to fight."
The ceramic Ei cup clattered with the small plate in her hand. Why do you have to be so stubborn? She loved that thing about you, but, seriously, on those occasions, it was impossible! Yae hears, on the other hand, pointed up, showing her her full interest in the matter. Her eyes were full of a small glimmer.
"Oh really? And...why so?"
"Why not?!"
"Because you don't need to! I can protect you just like this!"
Finally, Ei decided to get out of her small, composed shell. She raised her voice, shocking you for a momet, and Yae, not so used from the Shogun to shout.
"I don't want to be protected! I want to be able to do it myself!"
"This world is merciless; one wrong step and-"
"I've been hurt and hunted by the nations, Ei; I'm far more aware of how this world works! I want to protect our people too!"
The two of you keep on having that argument in front of the fox lady.
She found the entire ordeal quite cute. She knew that, at some point , this was supposed to happen. You wanted so much to prove yourself, while Ei tried with all the strength of her being to reject the thought of losing her Creator. It was meant to happen that the two of you would crash at some point; it was later than she believed, but better than never, no?
Posing her cup, she started to adjust the front of her kimono.
"Umm...well, it seems like she won't help you, dear Y/N. Forget asking her to help you master the art of polearming."
Finally, thought there was some sense in that discussion! It was strange to hear Yae finally siding  with-
"So, instead, why don't try to master another weapon? Sarah would love to get the chance to teach you the bow—or the Kamisato sibling? I can sense it; the art of the sword would elevate your status."
Your face glowed (literally) for happiness, while Ei looked at the scene with confusion and so much disdain.
"Do you mean it?!"
"Of course! Maybe you can master all of them! Why don't we pay them a visit later?"
"AAAAAW! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!"
You launched towards her, hugging her closely. She giggled a little, caressing your head in delight.
"I'm going to change! I'm going to need some proper gear...FIGHTING CLOTHING!"
You disappeared from the room, leaving the room again in the same silence. Ei keeps throwing light from her eyes towards the fox.
"....DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT?"
"They want to protect their and your people, Ei, and they don't want to be scared anymore... You should acknowledge that..."
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mosneakers · 2 months
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part 2 <read part 1 first, here>
Sunglo: You've been crying. I notice you've washed the smell of smoke off.
Coni: [Voice strained] Glo, baby, I'm tired.
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He reaches to touch her arm, but she proceeds past him.
Sunglo: Then let's not drag this out. Where is she? What happened to her?
Coni: She's gone, Sunglo. [Keeps walking]
Sunglo: Gone? Concept—wait! Get back here!
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Coni sits in front of her vanity table, while Sunglo stands behind her, exerting every effort to steady his emotions.
Sunglo: [Calmly] What do you mean she's gone, Concept? Coni glances down at the gleaming ring Sunglo gave her, passed down from his great-grandmother.
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Coni: There was a malfunction that resulted in her combustion. She was destroyed. I'm sorry. You trusted me with your best bot and I failed you.
Sunglo: [Shakes head vigorously] No, that's impossible. Give me a detailed incident report if that's truly the case.
Coni: Stop, I just lost someone too. I'm in no position to do that right now, please.
Sunglo falls silent, stunned.
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Sunglo: Coni… If there's something you're not telling me…
Coni: [Voice sharpens] WHAT, SUNGLO? What are you going to do? Hm?
Sunglo: I'll find out. I can access her data, her surveillance. I'll figure it all out on my own, Concept. If I have to, I will.
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Coni looks up at him with a sympathetic frown, her fingers tracing the collar of his shirt. A soft chuckle escapes her lips, though in her ragged and worn-out voice, it sounds more like a whimper.
Coni: [Sighs] No baby, you won't. Sunglo: Sorry?
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Coni: You won't. That's the thing. You'll never find out. You're the smartest man I've ever known, but I'll always be one step ahead of you... thanks to my genetic advantages. I destroyed Cecilia. I had to. And If I wanted you to forget all of this, I could make that happen with the snap of my fingers. But I'm just so tired of this game. I'm so tired of hiding from you, my darling.
A tear falls down Coni's cheek, against all efforts to stop it. Sunglo's stomach churns as a faint blue aura begins to emit from her skin; the same blue aura that comes from Aurora when playtime is cut short, or she doesn't get the toy she asks for. Everything starts to fall into place.
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Sunglo: No... [Shakes head, tears forming] Concept... you're scaring me...
Coni's eyes mirror the tears welling in his. She tries to vocalize "I'm sorry," but only manages to mouth the words, her voice failing her. Sunglo: This can't be real. I feel sick. Is this real? Coni: I... Do you want me to show you? ...Myself? My real form?
Sunglo: What? No! Those things, they—[lowers voice] they violated me, Con... And you? You're really one of them? Did you help them?
Coni: NO! Mod, no. I would never do that to you, Glo! I would never hurt you. I'm not like them. I was raised here in Strangerville. I don't do what they do, okay honey?
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Sunglo: What do you do, then? Lie and manipulate? And apparently destroy? Why? Why'd you do that to Cecilia?
Coni: She… she knew too much.
Sunglo: Oh, It all makes sense now. You were protecting yourself. Coni: I— [stops herself]
Sunglo: I think I'm gonna be sick... I should go.
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Coni: Baby, please… Wait, just come sit down. We can fix this, okay? We can get back to our normal happy life! We can fix Cecilia. We can fix us.
Sunglo: I… I think I need some time to think about this.
Coni: Think about what? Stop, you're scaring me, now! What are you saying, Glo? We were supposed to be—this life we made for us… it's perfect. Our love is perfect.
Sunglo: It was perfect. You destroyed it. It was a lie, Coni. You lied to me.
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Coni: PLEASE! I'm the same Coni you've always known. We were supposed to get married, Glo! You just proposed. You gave me Agnes's ring, I know that means something special, please!
Sunglo: Keep the ring. But— I think we need to call off the engagement for now.
Coni: Call it off? What are you saying? What does this mean for us? If you don't want to marry me then you don't want to be with me, either! [Sobbing]
Sunglo: I just need time, Coni.
Coni: What about our family and friends? Erwin? He definitely won't be able to handle this. Are you going to tell them I'm an alien so that they all hate me too?
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Sunglo: Of course not. You tell them when you're ready. And for what it's worth, they'll always love you. I'll always love you, Concept. Okay? I… I just know I'll never be able to reconcile, and I… I just need to think about whether I can live with that or not... forever.
Coni: [Sniffles]...S-so this is goodbye, then?
Sunglo: Only for now.
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won4ver · 2 months
Text
words left unsaid
- Lee Heeseung’s voicemail
pairing : idol!heeseung x nonidol!gn!reader
warnings + genre : angst. mcd. mentions of crying. mourning.
w/c : 533
series masterlist
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Hey my love, you look beautiful today. When I saw it was supposed to rain today I felt disheartened, not that anyone else would ever know. Today we had an outdoor filming scheduled and the whole day called for heavy showers, but I think you knew that. It came as a shock to us all when we woke up to the brightest sun, and the prettiest sunrise. 
You’ve always been beautiful, but since you’ve been gone I've had more time to appreciate it. I look up at the sky every night, the horizon filled with our favourite colours. I- I don’t know what I would do without you, I can't see you through the heavy clouds.
I guess you missed me too, right? It was you who made it sunny today, wasn’t it? I could almost hear your whispers in my ears as I cried with what was supposed to be rain, I guess there was nothing to cower behind. There was no mistaking my tears for rain this time.
I miss you the most when I feel you the least, my heart aches with your absence. I’m sorry I haven't called you, I'm sorry I left you during my mourning.
I couldn’t pick up my phone, hearing your voice would only make it all hurt more. Well that’s what I thought until the maknae’s surprised me with a plushie, one with your voice in it.
It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, in a twisted way it almost convinced me that you were still here, that it was you who was speaking with me in person.
I bring the plushy everywhere I go, it’s the only thing keeping me going to be honest. Oh, and my manager wants me to start seeing a therapist, but I don't want to. I'm scared that they will make me get over you, forget you. I’m scared they’ll make me realize that there’s life beyond you, that I won’t need you one day.
I don’t want to forget you, please don’t forget me while you’re waiting. I’ll join you one day, please keep my spot warm. 
The other day an interviewer asked me about my love for the sky, why I'm always posting the prettiest sunsets. I know he didn’t know, but I couldn't help but drown within myself. For the first time in a while I truly spiraled, I think it’s because his question made it all real.
How could he know? No one had the chance to know. No one was able to get to know you, to be able to love you the same way we all did. But don’t worry! I’ll keep your memory alive forever, I'll make sure everyone will know about you one day. I promise.
You’re not in pain right? You’re happy? I hope you’re everything I'm not, please don’t let us die out. I don’t know if i would be able to call you again, but this wasn’t a mistake.
I’ll love you forever, both in yours and mine. You died loving me, and I will die loving you. See you tonight, I can’t wait to see which colours you put up for me today.
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Hello, my dear friend! 😎
I hope you're having a wonderful day. I've come to fulfill my noble quest, as promised.
So, we've already had pregnant MC, which I adore and cherish, like all your works. What you do is amazing, and I hope you know that. You bring the kind of joy into our lives that I think does wonders for our weary souls. On top of that, you're one of the kindest souls I've ever met, and I'm lucky to have you in my life and be able to call you my friend. Seriously, you're a miracle and you make the world a better place.
But to my actual request. Could you please do headcanons about the M6 being pregnant? Seahorse dads are very much encouraged 👀 I often think about having children with Nadia, but I don't really like the idea of being pregnant myself (although our dear Countess does make me want to consider it every once in a while. The baby fever is very strong with her.) Plus, I'm certain there are other people like myself who prefer not to get pregnant or they simply can't for various reasons.
Thank you! Hugs to you and much love 🤗❤
Ps.: I'll kiss you if you do it (in a friendly but still very gay way)
The Arcana HCs: When M6 get pregnant
@theintrovertbean I'm here to collect my platonic but still very gay smooch, please :3 (In all seriousness though, I keep rereading your kind words and trying not to cry, that means so much to me. I'm so glad I get to call you my friend too!!)
-- CW for mpreg (obviously). for headcanon purposes, all members of the M6 want to have a child with MC and are happy with being the partner to be pregnant. whether this happens by natural means, depending on what reproductive system you headcanon them as having, or by *magic*, said baby is 50% your DNA and 50% theirs. --
Julian
Did the two of you take active steps to make it possible for him to carry your child? Yes. Did he think he would be fortunate enough for it work? No. Is he surprised now, even though it's planned? Yes
The most freaked out about what his body is in the process of doing. Again, this is something he agreed to and genuinely wants, but it's just so surreal to him that he keeps needing to rationalize it
His way of rationalizing things is to study them
This does not help his ever-present anxiety, especially when he has to limit his caffeine intake and his mood swings are even more intense than normal. He is going to bury himself in research
And then completely freak himself out with the assorted random weird facts, unhinged medical theories, and pregnancy horror stories that he encounters. Which isn't good for the baby
Speaking of, he keeps swinging wildly between being hyperaware of the tiny creature he's growing and completely forgetting about his state. Suddenly his self-care directly impacts someone else
Spending nine months with limited caffeine intake and 0 alcohol was actually very good for him. (even if it made him cranky at first)
The overall process was fairly smooth for him - he didn't have a lot of awful symptoms, and the only health scares were his own anxious "what if" spirals after reading horror stories before bed
Kept working the whole way through (though with considerably fewer hours so he could get more sleep), and generally did a great job whenever he wasn't thinking too hard about it all
Asra
They never actively envisioned this happening in their future, but when you brought up having kids in the first place they were already fairly open to the idea of being the one to carry the baby
There was definitely magic involved in the conception. He's too extra for there not to be (plus, a little boost never hurt anybody)
For such a normally chillaxed person, they did not take this decision lightly. Everything from planning, to conception, to preparing to raise a kid is full of intentionality
He wants to ensure that his kid gets a childhood that lasts as long as they need it to and a happy, safe environment to grow and explore. His baby fever wasn't intense but his nesting habits are
They get in several last crazy adventures before they start to feel the pregnancy and then spend the rest of it either sleeping, getting the baby's space ready, or eating the most unreal food combos
Seriously, you expected weird cravings, but considering how unusual his tastes already are you didn't think it could get much weirder. It can get so, so much weirder (he even managed to finally pry open that jar of kool-aid pickled garlic and put it in custard)
Between their parent's enthusiastic support and Nadia and Julian providing full medical backup, they are well looked after
Not to mention the pregnancy glow. He makes it look ethereal
They aren't fond of physical discomfort, though, and it makes them unusually broody and cuddly. Please give them snuggles
They spend weeks creating the most whimsical nursery
Nadia
She was actually the one to bring it up when she started talking about her expectations of marriage with you after proposing
For how strained her own relationship with her family is, she's more excited about starting one of her own with you than you expected. When you tell her that you want kids too, she's all for it
Sets a rule as soon as she tells her family that she won't be accepting more than two visitors at a time. Namar nearly revolts
Her pregnancy was not easy, at all. It was months before she could keep a full meal down, she was in near constant pain, and the fatigue was unrelenting. And she never let on in public, at all
Seriously, the only people who knew how hard it was were her close friends, trusted Palace people, and doctor. From the outside it was as if she couldn't feel it at all and life carried on as usual
The biggest noticeable difference (aside from her growing bump, which she somehow managed to make her draping clothes look even more regal with) was having Portia deliver speeches for her
Towards the final few months, it caught up to her enough that she couldn't be nearly as active as she used to. She turned one of her side chambers into her office and took all her meetings there
It also became evident how much the Palace staff loves their countess - the cooks worked tirelessly to find easy meals for her (and satiate every craving beyond the laws of culinary art)
Not to mention that the garden was immaculately kept
The amount of gifts for the baby took up several small closets
Muriel
He didn't bring it up. No, you brought it up, because of how out of hand his baby fever was getting. He'd gone from begrudgingly letting kids climb on him to actively offering to help watch them
Which turned into a lifestyle - he started spending all his free time carving toys so he could carry them in his pocket in case some shy toddler looked like they wanted one. You're running out of firewood
He offered to be the one to carry the baby, if you didn't want to
The psychological aspect of it is much harder for him than the physical. He knows his own body, he knows his strength and capacity for survival, and he's comfortable with what he's doing
But that is a whole other person-to-be he's growing, they deserve the best they can get, and he's not convinced he's the best
Is this ... selfish of him? Is this greedy? He knows he'll put everything he is into being a good parent, but what if someone else's best is better than his? MC, what are we doing??
These anxiety spirals happen frequently, either when he's gone too long sitting by himself or when the pregnancy insomnia makes it impossible for him to sleep the amount he normally likes to
On the plus side, the mood swings actually make it easier for him to express what he's feeling (and for you to know what's going on with him) so that you two can navigate it together
Asra is so excited to have a nibling that they stop by almost every day with baby gifts (and supplies from Nadia, once she knows)
He full body freezes every. single. time the baby moves
Portia
Oh, she's wanted to have a house full of kids since she was a kid in a house full of kids. She brought this up with you as soon as she started talking about a future together and she is so pumped
Literally nothing about the concept of it fazes her. She's helped with plenty of pregnancies and births, she's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and she is fully confident with you by her side
In her mind, this is the first of many (assuming all goes well, which she fully believes it will) so this is her chance to take things as they come and note them down for future reference
Keeps a daily journal with all her pregnancy observations, plus doctor's notes from weekly check-ups and plans for the baby
You didn't know pregnancy could make somebody more powerful but somehow she's done it. You expect it to catch up to her at some point and for her to take time off to rest, but she doesn't
The pregnancy glow is real and it is named Portia Devorak. You've never seen her hair so bouncy and full (shedding increases x10)
The biggest downside is that she can't stand the smell of cooking or baking anymore, which has long been one of her comfort activities. You'll have to manage meal prep (or partner with a chef)
Speaking of, half the Palace is asking for updates on a daily basis (which she happily provides). Nadia's showering her with more supplies and maternity leave than Portia wants to accept
Julian panicked about being the doctor until Mazelinka shoved him aside and took over as midwife. Portia's in skilled hands
Lucio
This was not planned. This was a happy accident. (Though Bob Ross never painted such a surprised, panicked, violent tree)
Whether because protection didn't work, or because Lucio saw a glowing orb in a weird dream and decided to mess with it while he was sleeping next to you, neither of you were remotely prepared
It doesn't really compute for him at first. The growing thing in his stomach is about as real as the tooth fairy - it's a concept that people tell him about before he goes back to daily life
It's a concept he's fiercely protective of and wants the best for
On a practical planning level, you two take advantage of his relatively easy first few months to take on a bunch of high paying jobs and revisit villages that seemed like a good spot to stay in
He's almost symptom-free until the bump really starts growing and his body starts adjusting for the extra weight. Thankfully by then you've found a place to settle down and reliable income
Lucio, understandably, becomes a complete diva once you do
He's pretty darn proud of what his body is doing, and he's relieved beyond words that he's having an easier time than what his mother described, but he does not like the way he looks
Or the aches and pains, or the breathlessness, or the way his whole body feels swollen and sore. (at least his hair looks nice)
You've never had such a hard time keeping him to his intended budget. He sees one (1) baby item and his wallet flies open
His sweet tooth gets 1000 times bigger than it already is
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tartarduck · 10 months
Text
words about tot chapter 9
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Gave myself a solid day to stew in my thoughts about ch9 and I just want to say that mihoyo is EVIL for timing it right before the anniversary. I don't know if I can be happy knowing Luke is suffering all alone in every conceivable universe other than his personal story/card timeline.
Point 1: How the chapter explored Luke's feelings of guilt for... Existing I guess?
I've been eagerly awaiting the reveal of Luke's survivor's guilt. The whole [wanting spirits to exist so he can at least apologise, or do SOMETHING, but knowing they don't] is such exquisite angst. I'm very happy they took the effort to write it in (though fortune tellers actually scare me in real life).
And now onto the related Point 2: Luke's feelings of guilt for literally everything else
I was reading through Luke's birthday greetings, and realised how often he calls himself greedy for literally wanting anything. God damn, SHE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND IT'S NOT GREEDY OF YOU TO WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH HER --
That aside, it comes back to the theme of Luke Pearce's thought process, which in my brain goes a little something like this:
Good thing happens -> I do not deserve this
Bad thing happens -> It is completely my fault and no one else's
Which, might I add, vaguely reminded me of something from a lecture I forgot from my psych undergrad years. I'm worried for you, Luke. Please, Dr Yishmir, refer him to one of your colleagues for mental health.
In his personal 'route', he finally starts to come around with the idea that sometimes bad things... just happen and it's no one's fault (thank you, strategically placed rainbow in iridescent heartbeat). But in the main story? He's been feeling guilty ever since he saw MC after avoiding her for YEARS. There's no Aaron meddling with the two of them, or MC helping him clean his mess of a house to kick-start a card story. This is the man who hid in the attic after sending his confession after a YEAR of dates with MC -- the main story doesn't even give him a chance to start forgiving himself.
Basically, Luke Pearce is a mess in the main story, because everything that makes him un-messy happens by pure chance.
Point 3: Luke's black and white thinking of good and bad
One of the highlights of this chapter for me was Luke's anecdote about him faking a cold so MC would go out with her other friends and forget about him. Now, that's all well and good until he compares himself to the mum with Munchausen's syndrome, who is the closest thing we get to a 'villain' in this chapter. On top of his guilt, this whole I'm either a good or completely bad person mindset is really not doing favours for his mental health.
His anecdote also happens to be an interesting parallel to shape of you, because I remember Luke specifically wished to be forgotten in that card. He wants what's best for MC (because he thinks that he's taking everyone's love from her) but he also wants something for himself. And because he doesn't believe he's able to do both, but also because he isn't able to let go of his 'selfishness' sometimes, he thinks he's an awful person.
And now, to the last to do in my rant agenda.
Point 4: what happens in chapter 12. (Spoilers for CN server, but only about the Luke scene)
1. Ohmygod. He's going to run away. I can't see main story Luke NOT blaming himself for nearly hurting the MC. In whichever timeline, his priority is to keep her safe, and god, if he thinks he's a danger to her, the only way to keep her safe would be by disappearing again.
2. I'm going to read too much into this but MC trying to get Luke to recognise her while she's being pinned to the ground is such delectable angst. He's always worried that she'd forget about him -- whether it was the 8 years or literally just hanging out with other kids at school. But here she is, in a situation where he's essentially forgotten about her. The voice that my brain concocted up for MC was extra desperate in that scene.
Anyway, that's all I had to say about the recent main story developments in ToT. Keep the angst coming, writing staff. What a power move to send this out right before anniversary on BOTH servers. If there's anything I've taken away from this, it's that Luke stans are absolutely unhinged. Twitter circle people, I see you requesting more angst. How can we get even angstier than Luke nearly hurting MC while he's dressed in the outfit that he wears for his proposal card ??
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theotherbuckley · 6 months
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WIP Wednesday <3
Tagged by: @disasterbuckdiaz @jeeyuns @malewifediaz @wikiangela @wildlife4life @rainbow-nerdss @steadfastsaturnsrings <3
Ok ok so I feel like everyone (including myself) forgets that Buck running fic and healing fic are 2 separate fics so I'm gonna do a description of both and also give you a snippet from each too under the cut :)
Buck running fic: Set post-season 4. Eddie has recovered from the shooting but Buck's still struggling with his own trauma of literally everything he has faced and he gets nightmares so instead he starts just running at night and trying not to burden anyone with his struggles. Eventual Buddie.
Healing fic: Set season 5 when everyone was leaving and Buck is really struggling and reverts to Buck 1.0 habits but also much worse coping strategies. Buck is really depressed and struggling and eventually asks Bobby for help. This one is much sadder and has some warnings. Also eventual Buddie and healing as a firefam.
Snippets under the cut :)
Buck running fic snippet: More therapy for Buck. Follows from this snippet
“I’m just trying to understand.”
“What do you want me to say? That Eddie found me on the floor crying over nothing and then I had a panic attack because I thought he was dying again and then he patched me up and held my until I calmed down and he told me to see you because I haven’t slept in months because every time I close my eyes he’s dying or I’m being crushed, or I’m searching for his son who I fucking lost?” It all comes out and Buck’s crying again, and he’s getting really sick of this whole damn crying buisness.
Doctor Copeland keeps a straight face through it all. “Eddie’s dying?”
“You know what happened, everyone knows what happened, it was all over the news.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
“Eddie got shot. Eddie got shot and— I was right there.”
“And what? You wish it were you instead?”
“No— yes, maybe, I don’t know.” Buck takes a deep breath. “Eddie said I’m not expendable, and I’m trying— I swear I’m trying to believe it.”
“He gave me his son.”
“Hm?”
“In his will, he said that if he— if he dies, that I would get Chris, that he wants me to have him, even though, even though I lost him.”
Healing fic snippet:
He’s making out with another girl in his apartment and it feels good and he’s drunk and maybe he’s high? 
And the next thing he knows Eddie is unlocking his door and walking in with some sort of rage written on his face and he doesn’t see him come in, he’s too busy pushing this girl against a wall and taking off his shirt and Eddie coughs and the girl looks up, eyes wide, and she grabs her things and just scurries out looking scared and Bucks yelling “Hey, wait—” and he’s looking at Eddie like what the fuck man? But Eddie still has that look like he could tear his limbs off without blinking.
“What?” Buck says, pissed.
“You blew Christopher off for this? To fuck some woman you just met?”
And Buck freezes. 
“What day is it?” He asks.
“It’s Friday, you promised Chris you’d come over and watch a movie, it’s been ages and you promised. I had to hold him whilst he looked at me with these sad little eyes and asked if he’d done something to make you mad because he thought you were avoiding him.”
“Fuck,” Buck whispered.
“And I called you several times and you didn’t pick up and I actually— fuck, I was actually worried that something had happened to you and I get here and you’re just fucking some stranger and what, are you drunk or something? Jesus Christ, Buck.”
“I’m sorry, I— I didn’t realise that was today I just, I’ve been busy and I forgot.” He didn’t forget about Christopher, it’s just, every day has been blurring together and he’s losing track of time and he could have sworn it was Wednesday today, and what has he done?
“God Buck, I can’t believe you’d do this. To me. To Christopher. What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t. I’m sorry.” I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened but my head hurts and it’s all too much and I’m struggling don’t you see? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
“I’ll make it up to him, I’ll—”
“No. Buck, you’re just, you’re just so, so—”
“Exhausting,” Buck filled in, his eyes watering. 
“Buck–”
“I get it, I’m sorry, I should’ve paid more attention to the date. I think you should leave now.” It’s just every time I look at you all I see is you bleeding out in front of me and I can’t do anything to save you. And it’s all too much. I just want to forget.
“What?” 
“I'm sorry, I am, but I need you to leave.” Please leave, I can’t let you see me break.
“What, so you can bring that girl back and finish what you started? Whatever man, fine,” Eddie huffed, slamming the door on the way out.
If Eddie had been thinking of anyone other than Christopher maybe he would have heard the glass shattering when Buck threw it at the floor. Maybe he would have heard Buck’s cries as he slumped himself on the floor, cutting himself on the shards. Maybe he would have seen how broken Buck was if he wasn’t so angry.
:)
Tagging people for WIP Wednesday:
@fortheloveofbuddie @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @spagheddiediaz @jesuisici33 @your-catfish-friend @ladydorian05 @giddyupbuck @eowon @elvensorceress @watchyourbuck @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @king-buckleyy @cal-daisies-and-briars @crowleywasagryffindor @evanbeginss @jamespearce9-1-1 @bucksbirthmark @callmenewbie @underwater-ninja-13
@buckdefencesquad @incorrect9-1-1 and anyone else who wants to share wip Wednesday. (Also let me know if I missed you/you wanna be added or removed)
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kawaiianimekitten · 1 year
Text
Obey me x reader
He scares you/accidentally-ish makes you fear him
Mammon
I decided to do the whole part all at once for this one
Warnings - cussing, not proofread, violence, hurt/comfort
_________________________________________
I had overhead some of the brothers talking about how Mammon had gotten an unusually rough punishment from Lucifer, so I wanted to make sure he was ok and hopefully forget about it for a bit.
I have some games, some food and drinks, some music, some movies, and some other stuff to hopefully cheer him up.
I get to his room and knock on his door before just walking in.
"Hey, Mams, I heard you ha-" I immediately stop talking and drop everything when I see Mammon.
"Oh my god, are you ok???" I rush over to him, quickly looking at the bruises all over his body.
He pulls away from me glaring. "Does it look like I'm ok?"
Gently grabbing his hand and holding it in mine, I reply "No... Wanna talk about it? Or I brought some stuff if ya wanna-"
"No. Just leave me alone." He pulls his hand away.
Not knowing how to react, I just stand there. He's never acted like this twords me. Am I supposed to actually go? He doesn't usually mean it when he says it, but he does seem more serious than usual. Maybe I-
"Stop standing there with that stupid look on your face, human." Wow. So that's how he's gonna play it.
I glare right back. "Fine. I'll leave. Before I do, though." I go grab his favorite snack and drink that I dropped when walking in and hand it to him, softening my look. "I brought these for you. If you wanna talk or hang out, you know where I'm at."
I turn around to leave before being pulled back.
Pop
"Fuck! Mams, that hurt, dammmit." I say, holding my now out of socket arm.
He gets in my face still glaring. "If I wanted food or drinks or you I woulda come got it myself. But I didn't. So why the fuck are you here. I never asked you to be." He had turned into his demon form sometime when I was turned around and is now bearing his fangs at me like some kind of dog.
Wtf is wrong with him today? He usually doesn't look like he wants to skin me.
"Mams, can you back up? If you want me to leave, I will. You don't have to be a dick about it. Ah!" I barely not my sentence out before Mammon has me pinned to the wall, arm on my throat.
"Don't talk to me that way. I have to deal with my brothers treating me like shit, I'm not gonna let you as well."
I can't breathe. I can't breath. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Just keeps repeating in my head as I try to get free from Mammon's arms.
Thankfully Levi decided to walk in, wanting his money from Mammon for something anime related, I'm guessing.
"Mammon! Get off her!" He tries pulling his brother away as Beel and Belphie pop their head in curiously before going to help get Mammon away.
I hit the floor, head spinning while gasping for air once they get him off.
Lucifer, hearing all the commotion, had begrudgingly came to check, immediately alert seeing 3 of his brothers pulling Mammon away from me.
Lucifer turns into his demon form. "What is going on here?!" Everyone immediately stops what their doing. Except me, I continue to cough and gasp for air, feeling so outta breath as if I just ran a marathon.
"Mammon. My office. Beel, take her to the couch. Levi, she'll prolly need a cold compress to reduce any swelling on her neck. Belphie, water." Lucifer commanded. Next thing I know I'm in beels arms.
When walking past Lucifer, though, I whisper "please go easy on him..."
He might've just scared the shit outta me, but I would feel bad if he got another bad punishment after just having a bad one.
Mammon later walks through the living room, glaring at me. I just hide in Beels side, deciding to try to ignore it.
By dinner he looks almost bad to normal. More like a kicked puppy rather than a pissed off demon.
I make eye contact with him, but he glares at me, making me flinch and look away. I guess I was wrong. Not back to normal.
It's been a little over 24 hours since what happened. By lunch he finally stopped glaring at me, thankfully. It's currently dinner and I can feel his eyes on me.
I look up and meet his eyes, which look less bright than usual, which breaks my heart a bit. He looks down, and after a minute I feel my phone vibrate. I check my phone, careful so that Lucifer doesn't notice (he doesn't like phones at the table, unless it's very important).
It's Mammon. 'Hey... I'm sorry... Wanna watch some TV in the livin room after dinner? I got somethin for ya I wanna give ya...'
'ok' I quickly reply before going back to eating.
I go back to my room to get ready to hang with Mammon and calm my nerves a bit.
Knock knock
"hm?" I open the door seeing a sheepish Mammon standing there, fidgeting with his own hands.
"U-Uhm, H-Hey Mc..."
I smile a little, glad he seems back to normal. "Hi"
"Ready to h-hang out?" He seems kinda scared as if I'll reject him, even though I already agreed.
"Yup, let's go." I step outta my room, closing the door behind me.
I hear him take a deep breath before gently taking my hand in his. Once he notices I'm not putting up a fight or upset about it, he takes me to the living room that's already set up like a mini pillow fort.
He faces me and gently grabs my other hand, acting as if in glass.
"Mc... I'm really sorry for how I've been acting... I have no reasoning good enough to excuse what I did and how I acted following it..." He lets go of one of my hands, pulling something out of his pocket.
It's a beautiful necklace with a locket on it, along with some additional lockets I can put onto the necklace.
I take the necklace and open the locket. It's a picture of us on his first date.
He had opened the other lockets while I was looking at the one in my hands.
One was us getting scolded by Lucifer after we started a food fight. Another is one he took while I was asleep on him. There's a group one of everyone that's chaotic, rather than the nice, organized ones Lucifer likes.
"I know this doesn't make up for my behavior or anything... But I just wanted to show how truly sorry I am... And that I truly love you with all my heart..."
I tackle him in a hug, which he reciprocates after a moment of shock.
"How long were you practicing that?" I smile up at him.
"S-Since Breakfast..." He shyly confesses.
We just end up hugging, laughing, saying I love yous, sorry from Mammon, and even crying. All while in eachothere arms.
"I l-love you, my Treasure"
"I love you too Mams."
We do eventually pull ourselves together enough to get ourselves over to the fort to cuddle and watch the show Mams picked out.
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poppystain · 5 months
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𝐼𝐓'𝐒 𝑂𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝑇𝐎 𝑁𝐎𝐓 𝐵𝐄 𝑂𝐊𝐀𝐘 ( 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 )  tv  drama  series   /  feel  free  to  change  pronouns  and  subjects  as  you  see  fit  !
❛ in all my fairy tales, the witch is always the one that's pretty. ❜
❛ who told you all princesses are kind and pretty? ❜
❛ she hates everyone apart from herself. ❜
❛ who cares about destiny? if someone shows up when you need them, you call that destiny. ❜
❛ my father's soul is dead, but he's physically alive like a zombie. ❜
❛ don't forget any of it. remember it all and overcome it. if you don't overcome it, you'll always be a kid whose soul never grows ❜
❛ you remind me of someone i used to know. a woman whose eyes completely lacked warmth. ❜
❛ i want you to be my safety pin. keep me under control so i won't explode. ❜
❛ there's something we always say to patients who recover. "hope i never see you again." ❜
❛ you're not avoiding me. you're just running away because you're scared. coward.❜
❛ but today, for the first time, i suddenly thought maybe i was just running away because i wanted to. ❜
❛ you see, when life is unbearably hard the easiest way out is to run. ❜
❛ some things can't be torn apart no matter how hard you try to do so. ❜
❛ how can you define a relationship in just one word? every encounter we've had was awfully dramatic, being an inch away from death. ❜
❛ every moment we crossed paths, we surprised each other. if such coincidences, one after another, somehow led us here, how would you define our relationship? ❜
❛ it'd be such a cliche to say that we're destined for each other. ❜
❛ i hope you read a lot of fairy tales and wake up from your dreams ❜
❛ don't look up at the stars in the beautiful night sky. look down at your feet that are stuck in a filthy sewer, accept your reality. ❜
❛ do children have to be useful to their parents? ❜
❛ what do you think i really wanted, satiating my hunger or feeling someone's warmth? warmth—this is what i truly wanted. i didn't want to be just fed. ❜
❛ your lies carry a sense of sincerity. it makes me want to believe them. ❜
❛ it's fine even if it's fake. putting on a smile isn't so hard to do. ❜
❛ is everything yours once you set your eyes on it? if you can't make it yours, you would even destroy it to get your hands on it. ❜
❛ you call that love? that's just obsession and greed. ❜
❛ don't bother wasting your emotions on me. i don't deserve any of that. ❜
❛ i'm sorry for running away when i was the one who liked you first.i regretted it the moment i turned away. ❜
❛ i'm done with being someone who is needed by others. ❜
❛ but the heart is a liar. it stays quiet even when it's hurting. ❜
❛ if you want to be fashionable, you must be uncomfortable and stubborn. ❜
❛ "get lost." do you know how many times you've said that to me? ❜
❛ last night, it sounded like you were begging me not to leave. ❜
❛ last time i ran away, but today i thought i should stay with you. ❜
❛ i think that's why we're meant to be. you're patient and i'm volatile. ❜
❛ like a bomb and its safety pin, we go hand in hand. we're meant to be together. ❜
❛ i feel like you're taming me. ❜
❛ i keep doing things i wouldn't normally do because of you. ❜
❛ he doesn't have anything to offer. i must've thought i could be the one to fill up his empty life. ❜
❛ she has the face of an angel, but there lives a demon inside. ❜
❛ if you keep a secret to yourself, you end up getting frustrated. you need to tell someone in order to relieve your stress. ❜
❛ your rationality can never win against your desires. ❜
❛ she's very lonely, but she doesn't want anyone to know that so she pushes people away. ❜
❛ i told you that i can no longer hold myself back. i guess i can't run away anymore.❜
❛ i dreamed the impossible dream. i should've known my place. ❜
❛ you were like a firecracker to me. a one-time event. i had my fun, so it's time for you to get out of my life. ❜
❛ i'm not a firecracker. i'm a bomb! i don't disappear once i explode. i blow up and kill everyone! ❜
❛ you're not taking me away from him. he now has one more person who will stay by his side. ❜
❛ i don't care who it is. i will not forgive anyone who messes with my family. ❜
❛ are all parents automatically forgiven for all the bad things they did before they die? ❜
❛ the one who neglects and turns a blind eye to the abuse is worse than the abuser.❜
❛ when i see you smile at me, i forget everything else. ❜
❛ stop pretending like it doesn't hurt. stop pretending like you're okay. ❜
❛ you pretending to be okay and me seeing that masked face will make me walk on eggshells around you. it'll suffocate me. i'll be tormented. ❜
❛ the one that torments you can also be the one to save you. ❜
❛ if you can't erase it, you just need to cover it with something better. ❜
❛ you belong to yourself and i belong to myself. ❜
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