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#i know the only reason were going away for australia day is because its like a four day weekend or smth but GOD
nintendont2502 · 1 year
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Aghhhggvgv
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outsideratheart · 1 year
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Very Important Person (Stina Blackstenius x reader)
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A/N: Based off this request. I hope you guys like it!
The Tokyo Olympics will be an unforgettable experience for more reasons than one. It was your first time representing Sweden in the Tennis and you had won gold after beating one of your best friends Paula Badosa in the final but it also led to you meeting your now girlfriend Stina Blackstenius.
It was the day after your game, and hers, when you met. Both teams were wandering around the Olympic village before going home. The coffee shop was busy but when she walked in you got tunnel vision, everyone else became irrelevant. You wouldn't say it was love at first sight but when she caught your eye you knew there was something about her that you couldn't quite put your finger on.
Due to your hectic schedule, you haven't been able to see her play live but you would send her photos of you watching her game in your hotel room whilst wearing your Blackstenius shirt proudly.
As luck would have it Sweden were playing the Cup of Nations in Australia the same time of the Australian open in Melbourne. As far as Stina knew you had to go to Argentina to prepare for the next tournament straight after the final but that wasn't the case.
When you get back to your hotel room after winning the first Grand Slam of the year you only have one thing on your mind, Stina.
You send her a text asking her to facetime you. You would do it yourself but you didn't want her roommate to see your name on her phone and start asking questions.
"You're a champion!" Stina congratulates you as soon as her face appears on your screen. By the looks of it she is sat in the hallway with her earphones in "How are you feeling? It looked like a tough match"
"You watched it?" Even now you don't expect Stina to watch all of your matches especially ones like this. Due to the high heat your match didn't start till 9pm. It was a long time for anyone and with Stina having a game the next day you only expected to watch the first hour or so at most.
"I did. Frido even watched some of it before falling asleep. Now please answer my question, how are you feeling?" Stina can tell by the look in your eyes that you are tired.
"The fatigue is beginning to set in but I don't care, I have this" you hold your trophy up for her to see.
"I'm so proud of you Y/N" her tone is sincere, you loved that you had someone in your corner supporting you and not just anyone but you had found your person.
"Thank you. It almost makes being away from you for so long worth it, almost" She laughs when you wink at her.
"What time is your flight tomorrow?"
You have to think on your feet. As far as Stina is aware, you are leaving Australia tomorrow. Then it's as if a light bulb goes off in your head. You can tell her the truth, just not all of it.
"9am" what you don't tell her is that is the time your flight from Melbourne leaves to go to Sydney.
"That's in 5 hours, couldn't you get a later flight?" Another thing you loved about Stina is how much she cared for you. She always wanted to make sure you were resting enough when you were training or that you were eating enough when your schedule was at its busiest.
"I can't. I have a meeting with a very important person that I cannot miss"
Little did Stina know that the very important person you are referring to is her.
When you arrive at the stadium 13 hours later you are surprisingly nervous which you find absurd given that you have just played a grand slam final in front of 15,000 people.
Your still consider your relationship with Stina fairly new even though you had been dating for almost a year. After the Olympics you spent months talking over text and having nightly facetime calls but due to the lack of seeing her in person it took your quite a while to ask her to be your girlfriend because you wanted to do it in person. It was her wish to keep your relationship private due to your profile which you understood, it did however make getting tickets to games more difficult especially when you wanted to keep your attendance a secret.
Much to your annoyance a camera is pointed in your face within minutes of sitting down. The Swedish players are warming up when the sound of their fans cheering loudly grabs their attention.
"What's going on?" Filippa asks.
The team look around to see if is they can find the cause of the noise. At this point your face is on each of the big screens within the ground.
"No way" Stina whispers to herself in disbelief.
When you see that the team are watching you from the pitch you wink into the camera. Stina knew it was for her but her team mates couldn't help but speculate.
"Is that Y/N Y/L/N?" Magda says rather excitedly given that she considers herself a huge fan of yours.
"What is she doing in Australia?" Zecira asks.
"She has just won the Australian open! You should know this" the captain scolds the keeper.
"She's supposed to be in Argentina" Stina says to no one in particular.
"I didn't know you were a fan?" Magda asks the forward.
Stina freezes for a second, much like a deer does in headlights. She cannot help but feel like she has been caught when in reality this is nowhere near true.
"Oh, Stina is a huge fan. She has made us watch every one of her matches in our room. We stayed up till what 1am this morning?" Frido adds.
"You took a nap half way through the second set and I remember you cheering when she won so don't act like you didn't enjoy it" Stina playfully shoves her roommate.
The team watch you give a short interview on the screen whilst they passed the ball around, it was a feeble excuse of a warm up but you had their attention.
"She has one of our shirts on. Do you think she brought it with her?"
Stina knows the answer to this. You take a least one of her shirts with you whenever you travel. You said it gives you extra motivation on days when you didn't want to train.
"Looks like she has someone the back. Place your bets ladies?" Filippa jokes only to be met with a number of responses.
Whilst some players jokingly say themselves, most say Magda given that she is the captain and face of the team. Meanwhile anger starts to form in Stina's gut at the thought of you wearing a shirt with anyone's name on other than her own.
"Me" Stina's tone is confident and unexpected.
The girls watch in anticipation as you remove your thin Nike jacket so you can reveal the back.
BLACKSTENIUS 11
"That looks like a players shirt to me" Frido nudges the forward.
"Now where would she get one of my shirts from?" Stina teases.
"From you. You're taking mysterious phone calls and have been for quite a while. You're watching all of her matches and now here she is supporting you" the cogs start turning in Frido's head as she connects the dots.
"What a coincidence" Stina replies.
The atmosphere in the stadium is electric and even though the Swedish fans are outnumbered they are still cheering loud and proud. When Stina scores you are up on your feet cheering loud like the proud girlfriend you are. She looks straight towards you and blows you a kiss which you pretend to catch.
"And now you're dedicating your goal to her" Frido says as the pair run back to their positions.
At half time, after the team talk, Frido begins interrogating your girlfriend for more information making it clear that she knows that the two of you know each other.
When your phone goes off you expect to see a message from your manager with your flight details as you are due to leave Australia in the morning. Instead, it is a text from Stina which reads I'm ready to tell them and by me, I mean you. Meet me at my hotel.
You spend the second half thinking about how you are supposed to introduce yourself to Stina's team mates. You had done plenty of meet and greets but you know how much this team means to your girlfriend so you want to get things right. When the full time whilst gets blown, you desperately want to see her whether it's only a glimpse or a look that lasts just that little bit longer but a man dressed head to toe in Sweden national team gear taps you on your shoulder before you get the chance.
Both teams do a lap of the stadium to thank the fans for their support. Stina gets to your stand only to find your seat empty. She knows she said to meet her at the hotel but she thought you would stay to see her before leaving. Just as she is about to enter the tunnel, she hears two young girls talking about you and how they can't believe that you were the game. Suddenly your early exit makes sense. Knowing you the way she did, Stina knew you wouldn't want to risk getting spotted by the Swedish fans or it might take you a while to get out of the stadium.
The team gets showered and are relaxing in the locker room whilst waiting for the last of them to get ready.
"Ladies, is everybody dressed?" Magda asks as she scans the room "Good because we have a special guest"
With no further introduction you enter the locker room. The players who are fans are quick to meet you but the one blonde you are so desperate to see is nowhere to be found.
After taking a few photos you congratulate them on their win and they return the favour.
"Let me guess you're here to see your girlfriend?" Frido asks you. The look that is spread across her face let’s you know she doesn't need an answer.
"I am" just as you finish your short sentence your favourite blonde comes into sight "Hi baby"
The sound of your voice makes Stina turn on her heels. She didn't expect it but seeing you in person, up close, after only seeing you on a phone screen for the last 2 months is very overwhelming.
"Me?" Lina, Zecira and Fillipa say in unison.
A small chuckle escapes your lips but your eyes never leave the woman behind them.
"I've really missed you"
Madga orders the team to give you the room and that they'll meet you on the bus.
"I thought you and Paula were getting a flight straight after your game so you could have a day off before training starts" Stina says as she wraps her arms around your neck. You really wanted to tease her about how tight her hold is but you didn't want to risk her pulling away.
"We thought we'd stay an extra day. I needed to see you and us being in the same country was too good of an opportunity to miss"
Silence soon fills the room. A smirk tugs at the corner of your mouth when you see Stina staring at your lips. Part of you loved how hesitant she was even though you had been officially dating for almost a year. When you lean forward, she meets you half way, the kiss is something you have been craving since you said you said goodbye to her back in November.
"I've missed that" Stina makes it known that she has missed the physical connection just as much as you have "I have missed able to do this and this" she trails kisses on your neck then down to your collarbone.
"I've missed a lot more than that but this is neither the time nor the place and I need to get you back to your team before you get in trouble" You get Stina's bag from her locker, take her hand in yours, lead her out of the locker room and to the team bus, where just as luck would have it is about to leave with the last few players getting on.
You steal one last kiss before giving Stina her bag.
"You can come back to the hotel with us, I cleared it with our coach" Madga appears at the top of the steps.
"I can't" your response causes your girlfriend to pout "Don't give me that face. Thank you Magdalena, but I was coming back to the hotel regardless, I booked a room there for the night but I drove her so I will have to drive back" you recognise the look on Stina's face "no, you go with your team. I'll see you soon"
You all but follow the bus back to the hotel which lets you walk in with the team. It turns out some of them came up with more questions on the journey which you are happy to answer. Stina on the other hand wants nothing more than to see goodbye to her team mates so she can have you to herself.
When you get into the elevator, she leans back into you and your arms snake around her waist.
"Be patient Älskling" your tone is low as you whisper in her ear.
When the lift arrives at the team floor, not all players get out. You hear Stina sigh which makes you think she knows something you don't.
"Magda wanted to take a photo with your trophy" upon hearing her name the Sweden captain turns to you.
"My family are huge tennis fans" Magda adds when she realises you have no idea that your girlfriend had made the offer.
You nod your head at the captain, letting her know that it is fine but you see a chance to tease the rest of them so you take it.
"And the rest of you? I knew Magda was a fan but you lot don't strike me as the tennis type"
Their eyes widen.
"Stina wasn't a tennis type till she met you"
"Yeah, you have the same effect on us"
"It's not the same!" Stina is quick to correct them.
"No, it's not" you tilt your head down to kiss her but it is short lived as the elevator arrives at your floor.
You watch with a sense of pride as Stina's team mates pose with your trophy. Stina on the other hand comes waltzing out of the bathroom, no longer wearing her team attire. Instead, she is wearing one of your hoodies and a pair of your joggers. She must have taken them off the bed when you were getting the trophy out its case.
She sits beside you on the bed and rests her head on your shoulder.
"Do you see that backpack over there?" Stina nods "That's is yours to take back to England. This" you pull at her, well your, joggers "are brand new and I planned on wearing them tomorrow"
"You can take them off me when they leave"
Stina's bashfulness catches you off guard but you remain quiet, your desired response is not appropriate given that you are not alone in your room.
"Does this mean you're ready for the world to know?" you move her shorts up slightly so that you can trace shapes on her bare thigh.
You feel her shake her head against your shoulder.
"I'm not ready yet" Stina admits.
"That's ok. Our friends and family know and if you ask me that's all that matters" you place a kiss to her hairline.
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ladysomething · 1 month
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Hello! Back with more thoughts! I can already tell this is going to be way too long, I am so sorry in advance, dont feel like you have to respond!! But first of all, I saw an ask where you said you liked Taylor Swift and since you were at the AUS GP, I must ask- did you get to go to the Eras Tour in Australia? I will be incredibly jealous if you did!! Anyways, AHHH THIS CHAPTER!! I have so many thoughts, I wish I could share all of them, but that would actually turn this ask into a real essay and this will already be too long lol.
I LOVED the new things we learned about the Dreyma Ver-öld!!! So interesting that people still feel pain there, but in a lesser way (does the same thing apply when sensing emotions through a bond, like Max can do with Charles now?) and so interesting that they don’t visit it while in heat/rut. And very very interesting that injuries received in there exist in the real world too!! I am DYING to know what Max’s is like, since I get the feeling it’s not quite the safe space that Charles’ is.
THE COLLAR?! I’m seeing everyone freaking out about it, but not going to lie, I burst out laughing when I read that part. OF COURSE Max would be *that* petty and throw Charles’ comment back in his face like that. I am obsessed with them and the way you write them. And the collar is awful and humiliating, but I am also excited for its reappearance 😏
I was so excited for a Max POV last chapter, but I semi-take that back now because knowing both of their perspectives and seeing wildly wrong they both are about each other just makes me want to lock them in a room and barricade the door until they figure out what a communication is. I’m frustrated as hell now, but also absolutely living for the angst while I wait for them to figure out what words are!!
I think Charles is incredibly stupid for thinking Ferarri is going to care about him starving himself. And Charles clearly isn’t caring about himself beyond just trying to get away from Max right now, so it feels incredibly twisted that Max is kind of the only person who is knows what is going on with Charles and cares about Charles (even if he seems to care in an incredibly weird and fucked up way right now). 
LOVE how susceptible you’ve made Charles is to alphas and how that fucks up the power dynamic EVEN more (the way he reacts to Pierre now???, the way he said that if Max had used his alpha voice, he would have been out for HOURS????!!!!) I have a feeling that this is a big reason that Max isn’t letting him go anywhere, and that this will become veryyyyy relevant (perhaps with a certain Mercedes mechanic 👀) later????
There’s SO much more I want to say but this is WAYYYY too long (sorry!!!), so super quick honourable mentions: 
happy dance when I saw the fic title in the chapter!!
“Maybe it’ll come to fruition as soon as the Monaco GP” I am suddenly TERRIFIED for what you have planned for Charles’ home race
Pierre becoming visibly worried in response to Charles getting a maniacal little grin and coming up with an awful plan had me absolutely rolling I love the way you write everyone
Eek it was all so good!! I am so excited to eventually get to the point in this fic where we start getting answers instead of more questions but I LOVE this suspense you’re building!! Thank you for sharing <3
you've triggered me very deeply, because I did NOT GO TO THE ERAS TOUR. I COULDN'T GET TICKETS. I stg I cried for like 3 days when I missed out lol. and then also had a weep when I watched the movie. I will forever rage at people who went to like 5 nights because how the FUCK did they get those tickets!!!!
I'm so glad you like the dream world so much. there are some reallllyyyyyy fun scenes planned for that place.
zipped lips re the alpha voice!!!! but it's also going to be coming back!!!
Pierre thought "does Charles not remember that the last time he thought he had a great plan he got bought by Max" and you know what??? that was very real of him
I think the answers are going to start trickling in pretty soon!! I think? Well, I think so at least haha. the next Max POV gives some pretty good insight into a couple things.
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respectthepetty · 1 year
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I knew it. I knew Phu's bitch-ass was gonna run away AGAIN. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's never REALLY been confronted for running away from his problems, so ofc he was going to run the first time he felt a lil bit of pressure. I kept telling myself this... I kept preparing myself for this... but he still managed to piss me off by doing it. I'm ready for Party to show up and start making some moves on Nan. But knowing Phu, he'll run away when that happens, and make Nan panic ONCE AGAIN. This seems like it's gonna be a vicious cycle. 😩😩😩😩
I want everyone to know that I think The Promise is good. It's visually pleasing, the colors are stable, the acting is good, the story is compelling, and overall, it has great qualities.
But for a show based on the relationship of Phu and Nan, it is doing its damndest to make sure we all HATE Phu!
Anon, unlike you, I truly believed that Phu was going to get what was coming to him. I fully thought that because we were left with the argument as the final scene a month ago, that the second part of the show would deal with Phu fighting his way back into Nan's heart.
But instead we got THIS!
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Once again, how are we supposed to like Phu when every five minutes of this episode, he was wilding out?!
The show opened with Phu just chilling looking at the scenery, not even bothered by breaking Nan's trust and heart
He left Nan AGAIN without telling him
Even if he was respecting what Nan said, he saw Nan was texting him AND IGNORED IT
His grandmother didn't need him, but he decided to stay longer and tell no one
He just opened his coffee shop that NAN had to sacrifice his first-born child for in order to get, yet left someone inexperienced in charge who then told NAN that NAN could close up the shop
He is putting Nan's actual career on the line by not being reliable for the advertisements
He answered Dina's call BUT NOT NAN'S
His grandmother defended him even though he had her LIE FOR HIM FOR TEN YEARS
Him telling his grandmother not to leave Nan land, even though a joke, was ridiculous because PHU OWES NAN EVERYTHING
Him calling out for Nan not to ever leave when he is the ONLY one who ever leaves is hypocrisy at its finest
"Are you still angry with me?" <- HAVE YOU TOLD HIM WHY YOU LEFT?!
I don't like that Nan is being treated like he messed up when he emailed and called Phu for TEN YEARS with no reply. I'm upset that Nan got the lecture from his boss about how people need to communicate with the people they are closest with when PHU NEEDED THAT LECTURE. I'm pissed that his friend told him HE needed to sort things out with Phu when that is all he tried to do while Phu has lied to him and ran away from him. Nan went every year to Australia looking for Phu, yet Phu was at the farm a few hours away. Nan went to that farm begging for information only for the grandmother to lie to him.
Even though Phu is terrified that Nan will reject him if he tells Nan he loves him, all the awful shit he has done to Nan, so he can protect himself isn't love. It's selfish! Nan didn't sleep well for over 3,650 days worried about Phu, believing that his friend was dead, only for Phu to return with no reasoning for his absence.
Bas from I Told Sunset About You used to be my "He Deserved Better" Boy, but Party is looking to steal that title solely because Phu sucks so much, yet Nan stays defending Phu and BLAMING HIMSELF.
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Party deserves better.
Nan deserves Party.
Phu deserves SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE!
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God, I'm so pissed!
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bahngray · 2 years
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LIMERENCE
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Disclaimer This work is for mature audience.
Pairing hyunjin x reader x felix
Parts: Chapter 1
Synopsis - because loving does not need reasons
Some questions dont have answers and I've never gotten the answer to why Hyunjin wasnt letting me in. Why he was being so stubborn and keeping me away when he wanted me, when he knew we would be happy together. I have loved him all my life and let me tell you when you love someone, you are ought to get hurt by them.
Chapter 2 : But I wanna hold you
He picks me up and makes me sit on the nearby bench. He doesnt ask me anything but rather when he sees me break down again he hugs me tight.
I should have pushed him away, he was a stranger but I didnt, in that moment I just let him hold me and for a moment I thought it was hyunjin, it was him who ran to get me, it was him who was holding me, comforting me, telling me it was alright. But it wasnt him.
"Heyy its okay, its alright, come on lets drink some water okay?" He said. I sniffed and rejected the waterbottle he gave me but he made sure I drank the water and said, " I definitely think you need these tissues, u dont want to go around with snot in your nose do you?"
And I laughed, I was trying to calm down and he laughed along with me.
"BTW, Hi I'm Felix, I'm the new transfer student from Australia, hope we get along, oh right can u show me the path to the office I was told to drop by there today" he said.
I nodded and sniffed before I finally spoke, "walk straight and then take a left and you'll find the office"
"Thanks" with that being said he didnt leave to go but rather he sat beside me and after a while he finally spoke, "Hey do you mind if I take you home or wherever your going?"
"No no no you don't really have to, it's not that far I can go myself plus it's not that late" but he didn't listen, he grabbed my arm and took me to his car.
"Wait here I'll be back in a few mins, okay?"
I nodded, not quiet sure why he was doing this. Normally this would mean something was up but some part of me wanted to trust him. So I waited in the car.
He came back in a few mins as he had said and started the car. We sat in silence while he drove the car. He finally breaked the silence saying, "So you haven't told me your name yet, or do you not want to tell me?"
"Oh right, I mean I'm sorry for causing all this trouble to you but I'm Y/N, ask me for help whenever you want cause there's a lot to learn here haha" I said to lighten the mood.
He was unreadable, I couldn't understand why he was doing this, the not so good thoughts started to spin round my mind, so I blabbed out like an idiot, " Honestly its kinds weird, cause I really dont know why your doing this or whether your normally like this uhh-"
"Dont worry I'm not a bad person just know that" he laughs.
He looked beautiful when he laughed.
Embarassed I didnt say a word the whole ride home. When we reached at my apartment he quickly got off his seat and rushed over to open the door to my side.
Cute. Thats the only thing I could think.
"Well then I'll see you tomorrow!" I beamed loudly.
"Arent you way too happy to know the fact that you'll be seeing me again tomorrow?" *smirks*
"Yahh I didnt mean it like that" I yelled at him.
"Yeah okay" *smiles* he said. "Anyways I'll see you tomorrow"
I waved him bye and watched as he left.
And the anxiety of hyunjin leaving me filled me up, the fact that he was never willing to love me as much as I was left me broken. Because loving hyunjin wasnt like just loving him but it was like walking into a house and realizing that you were home.
But all I could do was deny and tell myself that all of this was a lie, Hyunjin just needed more time and in order for us to be happy I could give him that time.
And there it was denial to the truth, to the reality of us. Denial was like an old blanket I loved to get under that thing and curl up and go to sleep.
*The Next Day*
I wasnt in shape to meet hyunjin today and do our assignment so I decided to ignore him. I entered the building and froze when I saw hyunjin. I wanted to run but it was as if my feet were stuck on the ground.
Just as hyunjin started walking towards me I felt a tap at on my shoulder, I turned around to see felix and let me tell you I dont think I was ever happy to see a person this much as I was to see felix.
"Hi-" before he could say anything I took hand and dragged him to my locker.
"whoa whoa wait up" he said gasping for air, "what is going on why did u drag me here?"
"Umm I wanted to talk to you in private" he gave me a perplexed look, "You call this private? Y/N there are people here and there, cant you see?"
Like an idiot I just laughed, " Oh guess it wasnt a nice private spot to talk haha"
*A Month Later*
Felix and I, we got along really well, we had similarities as well as dissimilarities but he understood me well. I liked him that way. I always shared my concerns with him except the hyunjin part but he was always there when I needed him. When I needed hyunjin he was always there beside me, making me forget the dreadful memories.
Its been a month since hyunjin and I last talked, we didnt do the assignment together he changed his partner and I was left alone when felix offered to be my partner. I never spoke to him, he never called, never texted, it was as if we didnt know each other. We ignored each other as much as we could but i couldn't take it any longer so I decided to talk to him one afternoon after class.
He was as usual in his spare room working on his assignment with his new partner who was just a disgustingly flirty girl called Mia. I walked in and he didnt even look up, "Hyunjin we need to talk" I said.
"I'm working cant you see?" he said annoyed, I grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room to our empty classroom.
"What? what is it?" he said. "What is it? Do you even know we havent talked for a month and we have been ignoring each other? Why are we doing this hyunjin? Why?" I said my voice a little shaky.
"We should just ignore each other its for our best. We cant go back to how we were, you get that, I cant go back Y/N its hard for me" he said looking me in the eye.
"Do you think I'm a joke? Hyunjin I love you, is it so hard for you to understand that? I know you love me back then why are you hesitating? Why?" I said as tears started streaming down my face.
"I dont love you y/n, I'm not capable of loving you. I'm afraid I might hurt you and I cant bear that pain to see you hurt because of me, so please stop, we can stop this" he said as his eyes started to turn red.
"I...I hate you, all this time I waited for you like a fool thinking you just needed time, that after you were fine we could love each other sincerely, truly, but you, you proved me wrong you never really truly loved me, your disgusting hyunjin, your just scared of loving the women you love. Is loving me that hard? Am I not your type?" I rushed to get out of the classroom, tears falling down my face.
As I walked out of the building I saw that person I shouldnt have. Felix. When he saw me crying he rushed over to hug me tightly in his arms.
"Its alright, its okay I'm here"
With Felix there were no lies he knew why I was crying, he knew what was going on and he knew why I hadnt told him abt hyunjin. This is one of the reasons why I liked Felix.
After I calmed down he took me home and stayed with me. "I should go home now" he said breaking the hug, "No' I said, "Stay"
With that being said Felix kissed me, he smashed his lips on mine and I know I should have moved away, I should have stopped him but I didnt I let him love me.
His hands moved down my body and within a few secs he got me on his lap. While one of his hands gripped the back of my face and the other was around my waist he bit my lower lip asking for permission. I gave him what he wanted. His tongue explored my mouth and it felt like heaven and I felt the most pleasure I had ever since hyunjin touched me.
I moaned feeling his hands on my breasts. Felix broke the kiss and looked up at me, "Fuck your so beautiful" he exclaimed.
He smashed his lips again with mine and kissed me more passionately this time, he carefully lifted me up and placed me on my bed asking, "Can we do this? We dont do this if you dont want to, okay?"
"We can do this" I said, he hovered over me kissing me for what felt like the thousandth time and I started to unbutton his shirt. He pulled my croptop up and helped me take my leggings off. When I was just in my undergarments he stared at me and whispered,"Your so fucking gorgeous"
He licked his lips as his hand touched my almost bare body. He slipped off his shirt and revealed his toned abs, he unbuckled his belt and took off rest of his clothing and all I could see was a naked felix standing infront of me. Felix was beautiful, despite him as a person his body proportions were heavenly.
He kissed me as he took off my bra and he stared at the sight of my breasts revealing themselves. He kissed my breasts, licking my nipples, as a result getting a soft moan out of me. His hands soon made their way to the elastic of my underwear.
He looked up at me for permission and I nodded. He took off my black underwear and was drooling at the sight he saw. His mouth made its way from my chest to my inner thighs and lastly at my wet clit. I moaned at the amount of pleasure I was receiving. His mouth was doing its job eating me out, sucking my tensed skin.
"Felix I think...I.I.I'm going to cum" and without a warning I released all the hot liquid from inside of me. Felix sucked on my fluids and his mouth was on mine again, kissing me as hard as he could and me gasping for air.
His hands squished my breast ever so lightly while kissing me it felt as if I was flying. Without any warning he thrusted into me, the feeling of his length sending me over the moon. "Go faster" I whispered.
He gripped my hands and relentlessly thrusted into me, I rolled my hips to feel his full length inside of me. The bed made creaking noises as moans kept spilling out of my mouth, Felix was losing his mind, thrusting into me slowly but deeply and hitting me in the right spot.
At last he filled me with all his essence getting one last moan from me, as he fell on top of me. He soon got up gave me a peck on the lips and washed up. He bought some white towels to wash me up and then laid beside me putting his hands on my waist while dozing off to sleep.
I was awake, ruining myself at the thought of how all this pleasure that I have received wasnt from Hyunjin. I knew I couldnt hurt Felix and play with his feelings, I knew that. But even though I had spend the night with him my heart still longed for Hyunjin. I still wished it was Hyunjin who made love to me.
I felt ashamed that I had used Felix but I wasnt going to anymore, I am going to love him. I am going to forget Hyunjin for the better. I am going to try. Felix was an amazing person and I'm not sure whether he deserved someone like me, he deserved someone far better.
But starting from now I am going to love him and I'm going to forget Hyunjin. With these thoughts I soon dozed off to sleep.
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fakeloveaskblog · 1 year
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(Hi, me again. Happy new year!)
Hey Remy, here you go.
*a needle and thread appears*
Wanna here some fun facts? I haven’t told you any in a while.
Did you know that Australia is wider than the moon, the moon is 3400km in diameter and Australia from east to west is almost 4000km.
Did you know that shrimps hearts are in their heads.
Did you know that people are actually more creative in the shower because of an increased dopamine flow.
Did you know that my country’s (Scotland) national animal is a unicorn. It was apparently chosen because of its connection with dominance and chivalry as well as purity and innocence in Celtic mythology. Also because Englands national animal is a lion and unicorns are stronger than lions.
Did you know that you can here a blue whales heartbeat from over two miles away.
Did you know that an 'ultracrepidarian' is someone who voices thoughts beyond their expertise. Or in other words something who gives an option about something they don’t know anything about.
Did you know that a jiffy is an actual unit of time, it’s 1/100th of a second.
Did you know that you can’t hum if you hold your nose.
Did you know that Google was named after the googol, which is the number one followed by 100 zeros.
Anyway that’s enough of that. Is there anything you want to talk about or should we just make idle small talk?
Glow Eyes
(Gonna do it so ur sending Remy a fact a day for structural reasons)
Remy gave you a nod while taking the needle and thread. Remus had given them a pillow cover to embroider on. Their hands were shaking from anxiety but as soon as they got ahold of the needle muscle memory took over and they punctured the fabric with the starkly red thread.
They nodded without looking up as you asked if they wanted to hear a fun fact. They stopped for just a moment to give a shocked reaction at the Australia thing.
"That's like a huge bitch! Like I've neeever had plans to go to Australia and like I don't even have any favs from Australia. I'm no Kylie Minogue gay. But if it's that big maybe I gotta make Jannie and RemRem invade it so we can like control the earth y'know?"
You hovered down beside them and glowed a bright yellow so they could see what they were sewing more clearly. They mumbled out a thanks while patting you on your translucent head.
"I think I’m gonna go with needle weaving ‘cause it’s like gonna make the words more clear and since it’s for RemRem I wanna make it more fancy than a simply cross stitch” They explained while sewing “I used to make spiderweb patterns on my skirts by-”
The blanket on the other bed shifted as their roommate moved around. 
“Girl sorry if I woke you up. I’ll be like quiet now” Remy quickly apologized.
A hand waved from somewhere in the nest of blankets “No. No” Their roommate’s voice was worn out and raspy “If talking to youself is what gets you to sleep don’t mind me” The pillow moved a little as he turned to the other side.
“Thanks girly!” They looked bach at you “So as I was saying there are like tots soo many different embroidery-”
--
When you returned to the tiny room at the rehab center the next day sunlight was shining in through the window and the roommate’s bed was empty. You could hear Remy mumbling out incoherent nonsense.
As you floated up a little bit higher you could see Janus laying in the bed with his head pressed close to Remy’s. His hand laid across their waist and his phone laid between them. They were sharing earbuds.
Remy was so pale their veins stood out like blue glowsticks. Their jaw was slack and their skin glistened from sweat. Their breathing was heavy and unsteady as their body seemed to twitch and shake at random intervalls.
Even though their eyes were only half open they kept their gaze on their partner as their trembling hand moved along his soft chin.
“Sorry babe I’m so boring” They mumbled out.
“It’s okay deary. I don’t mind listening to such riveting classics as” He glanced at what they were listening to (they had said the music grounded them) “...The femme fatale remix of Till the world ends with Kesha and Nicki Minaj. It’s always good to discover new music. And it’s even better to be with you”
Janus peppered kisses along their cheek which made them let out weak giggles. They closed their eyes and rubbed their nose against his.
“Sorry it’s all ‘bout me. What- what’s going on at your job?” Remy asked half lucidly “Or anything. How is the uh the ikea? Viv?” They blinked before slurring out “The library babe?”
They looked to Janus for an answer while kicking off the blanket. They’d dragged it on just a minute ago because “they’d been freezing to death” but now it looked like they were burning alive.
He smiled softly “The library is doing good darling. Logan asked me over to bake treats for the kids art and crafts evening- Oh a friend is here” Janus interrupted himself as he saw you.
“I think she’s trying to like remind me I’m not like alone” Remy groaned out while clutching their head. It felt like their skull was going to implode on itself.
You told your shrimp fact.
“I also have my heart in my head. That’s why I’m such a genius” Janus said with a smirk. They looked over to Remy and smiled even winder when they saw their partner laughing weekly.
--
The next day the room mostly looked the same except that Remus was the one sitting at the foot of the bed. Remy’s foot was sticking out from the blanket and they kept poking at their boyfriend’s side to annoy him. They still looked just as pale and they had huge bags under their eyes because the withdrawal symptoms were keeping them awake.
“Yeah so there I was lost in the woods” Remus babbled on “And suddenly a bunch of crows flew by over my head and- GHOST! HI!”
You flopped your ghost body on top of Remus head to make his brain feel all fuzzy while he laughed before telling your fact of the day.
Remus let up into a big sinister smile “Y’know the big reason everyone gets so much dopamine in the shower is ‘cause they’re all nakey” 
He said it while tickling Remy right by their ribs so they let out into one of those shrill giggles. He kissed them on the cheek and moved a bit of their hair that had gotten stuck to their sweaty forehead behind their ear before laying down beside them.
“Just imagine the RAW NASTY creative power if someone mushed like 8 naked people all at once into a shower”
“Babe that’s just an orgy” Remy replied.
“Well then I gotta go look for statistics on how many brilliant creative endeavors were started during an orgy”
“Great excuse to become one of those uhhh like....I think Janny’s said it...Empirical scientists!” They looked proud of themself for remembering before another skull shattering headache hit them and their stomach dropped.
--
The room was empty the next time you showed up. The nurses had coaxed Remy into leaving the bed just for a few hours so they could clean since the sheets were drenched in sweat and had stains of vomit on it.
You floated through a few walls before finding Remy curled up in the sofa of the ‘living room’ of the rehab center. Remus had his head in their lap while scrolling on his phone. His partner was working on embroidering the pillow case so the fabric kept falling onto his face but he didn’t mind.
Remus looked up to find Remy silently crying. Tears rolled down their cheeks but they didin’t make a single sound, their eyes were barely even red.
He quickly sat up and reached out to cup their cheeks “Beanie, you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Just” They closed their eyes tightly “Just withdrawal shit”
“You’re through the worst of it. I know it feels like having your liver picked by birds over and over again but it’ll be over soon”
Remy let go of their needle and thread as they sucked in a deep breathe to not start crying any harder “Every minute is just like so fucking slow an-and I keep thinking bout how This is just the start-”
“The withdrawal is gonna be over in like a week. 2 week tops! Then we go burn houses or scream in the woods or whatever you want!”
“This is the start of being sober!” Remy nearly choked on the word “I’m gonna have to remember and exists an-and already I don’t- I can’t stand- Everything feels SO real Remus! Everything- I- I can’t comprehend this” They held up their shaking hand “This is the same hand I had when I was being abused by my dad- same hand i had when I was flinching from Virgil- I- I don’t wanna be the same person all of that happened to! I don’t wanna have to live with it! I wanna forget! I wanna! I don’t want Myself to be real! I- I-”
“You can sob and sniffle and throw snot all over the place y’know” Remus said in his softest tone “I won’t get mad. You’re safe”
Remy’s face scrunched up into an ugly grimace as they let out a quiet whine. Remus moved his finger against their lip and waited until they nodded before kissing them. He held them close as they continued to sob.
You quietly decided to leave the room. You could just give two facts tomorrow instead.
--
It was late at night when you returned to Remy’s room. You found them sitting on the floor with their back leant against the wall, their hands were busy with the embrodeiry. Their cheeks had stains left from tears.
Your light pink glow made Remy look up. They smiled  a little when they saw you.
“My head is having like loooads of stupid thoughts ‘cause of the uhm the withdrawal” Remy mumbled out, they looked dead tired “I told Jannie ‘bout some of them and they like convinced me to tell the nurses. They took my needle ‘cause it was too sharp they said but I got like a more round one” They sniffled “Earl- my uh roommate has been playing cards with me when Jannie and RemRem aren’t here but he needs his sleep so it’s like good your here right now. I could use the distraction”
You didn’t even have time to finish your fact about Scotland before Remy’s eyes went wide and their mouth turned agape in shock.
“You’re scottish!??! Girl I should have guessed with how you speak but I just assumed that like all ghosts sounded kinda scottish!! What the fuck is a scottish ghost doing in fucking Florida!? Girl if I die I’m getting the fuck outa here. I’mma be in fucking Havana or something. Sawry finish your lil fact”
You let out a little huff before finishing your unicorn fact.
“Having a unicorn as it’s country animal?....Kinda gay. Slaaay Scotland!! My new faav country! Unicorns having a connection with dominance!?” They twirled their hair “You telling me unicorns are doms...omg...”
You followed it up with the whale fact.
“The heartbeat!? Girl that would be calming as shit. Wait...Could you mimik whale sounds? That sounds like suuuuuper niiiiceee”
After a moment of consideration you took out your ghost phone and simply searched up a video of whale sounds before putting it against Remy’s ear.
--
“Are you kidding me? Did you not see the extrrrra extrrrordinary way I completely and uterrrrrly won this game of uno” Janus said sarcastically.
“I saw you cheating!!” Remus exclaimed.
“Me? Cheating?” They gasped “I would never! What about my honor!”
“You can get the honorary punishment of getting your hand gnawed off for cheating!”
Remus jumped forward and grabbed onto Janus’ wrist. He made loud chomping noises while only biting A little on their actual skin. Janus played along by throwing uno cards at his head.
The two of them were sitting beside Remy’s bed. Their partner had too much head fog from pain and sleep deprivation to play uno with them but just laying in bed and watching the two people they loved have fun made Remy feel better.
You interrupted the biting to tell them about ultracrepidarians. Janus let up into a smirk before boping Remus on the nose.
“Someone who speaks above their knowledge grade, such as you claiming I would ever cheat when you know nothing about the spirit of card games!”
Remus tried to bite their finger “HAH! You’re one to talk! You discuss criminal mysteries with me all the time and yet you’ve never drank even a TINY bit of blood!”
“Ohohoh but you love to speak of old torture methods when you don’t even know about the philosophical reasoning that led them to happen!” Janus argued back.
Both of them sent confident smiles at each other while crossing their arms. Remy rolled their eyes.
“Girlies get a room”
You added in your fact about Jiffys which made Remus loudly laugh.
“Hehe sounds like yiff”
--
You heard quiet crying when you came back the next day. Remy sat huddled up in a blanket in front of the single window in their room with a box of tissues. You sat down next to them and quietly told your fact about humming.
They rolled their eyes before trying to hum while holding their nose and when they couldn’t and their nose just felt stuffy instead they started to quietly chuckle.
“The doctor said my withdrawal symptoms had lessened enough that I could like go to my first therapist session...or well my first here” They sighed “I’m just like a lil torn up ‘bout it. It’s just like...Like...It just feels like tots FUCKED That they just leave me all alone right after a therapy session. I’ve never had to like talk about Viv in that way with like a professional before. Like the psych was nice like don’t get me wrong I just. I’m just a bit criey right now. Feeling memories....feeling like flashback type of feels....just need a minute”
You continued to glow for the rest of the time you sat there.
--
Remy was in the living room of the rehab center again the next day. You watched them play cards with some of the other patients for a while before they started to feel too naesous and had to go lay down on the coach. You floated down to them and summoned a hand to wave.
“hii girlie” They said in a tired tone “We had like a group art therapy thingie today. I dunno whyyyy, they said why but I like forgot. I painted Jannie and RemRem. Wanna see?”
They held up a paper with two vaguely human shaped blobs on them. There was a brown shaped blob on one of the human’s face, Remy pointed to it and explained it was Remus’ future mustache.
“You think they’ll like it? I actualllllly literalllllly tried my best especially since I know RemRem is artsy and all that”
They waited for your response for a little bit but you just responded with your last fun fact about gogol.
“Gogol...Sounds like some russian spy character”
They waited for your response about the painting for another minute before remembering something more. They gasped and clasped their hands together.
“Also!! I’ve like decided!! I am going to get a job once I get out of here okay!? Not ‘cause I’m scared of being like a burden....even tho I am also scared of that...I’m just like sooooo tired of just sitting at home y’know? I’ve gotten to test like those uhm what’re they called...elbow crutches! Which I think can like help me manage at a job. You got like any good ideas for jobs that would be like good for me?”
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Text
Regular Routine
So, the last two months have been moving at a rapid pace. The third draft feels like it's about halfway done, but it's still too early to start talking about beta-reading and whatnot.
Since I'm working at the moment, I thought it might be nice to talk about my writing/editing routine. It might be nice in terms of catharsis, as well as gives me a little break from my edit today.
So, let me break down how I survive working on this and my job as a pathology collector. Spoiler alert: this is a very, very long way of saying "take some breaks".
What Is Your Current Writing Routine?
Unless I have time off, I only edit on Sundays. Sometimes I'll get spicy and do some the Saturday evening, but more often than not I'm dicking around playing video games and decompressing from work.
Now, sometimes I'll plan some extra writing time in around work, but that can be a little bit of a nightmare.
How Long Do I Work For?
I don't talk about myself much online, so let me give you some context. I'm in pathology, and my roster is a mess. In fact, Wednesday and Thursday I don't know where I am until 6am that morning, or the previous afternoon if my boss has had time to plan. Monday and Tuesday meanwhile I work two shifts that are both three hours long - this used to be eight hours accumulative, but the evening shift had its hours cut. Friday I work five hours and on alternate Saturdays I work three and a half hours.
So, this sounds manageable, right?
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Here's where it gets weird. First of all, the mornings of Monday, Tuesday or Friday I can get redeployed elsewhere, working either longer or farther away. One time, I worked from 8-2pm, then 3-6pm about 30 minutes away from the first location. Early in my career, my boss was so short staffed I wound up working close to 12 hours. Never again.
Wednesday and Thursday meanwhile I've more or less been locked into a 9.5 hour shift because few other staff know how to work that particular room.
In summary, most weeks I work about 36 hours, not including the weekend or redeployment. That translates to 75.5 hours per fortnight, just 30 minutes shy of full time hours here in Australia.
How Do I Manage These Hours and Writing?
For those of you who haven't worked in my industry, there can sometimes be gaps as wide as 2 hours between clients. During this time, it's best to do the store orders, stock counts and any miscellaneous tasks since there are a lot of those.
However, doing all these tasks take up about 15-20 minutes of your day. In fact, it's pretty easy to complete them all in the first hour if no clients show up.
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In my company at least, you can be sent to rooms where there is nobody but you on site, and your clients are in the single digits.
You can probably see where I'm going with this.
Once the daily chores are done and there's no clients, I will whip out my journal and set a timer for 10-15 minutes, taking advantage of the excess float time. If I'm doing a big chapter, I might even do a draft on my lunchbreak if it's long enough.
In fact, a good chunk of Draft 1 was written like this.
This Sounds Exhausting
Well, that's because it is. There's no nice way to say it, but there's a reason there were 5-6 years where I posted nothing on Tumblr. Writing on the job takes away time that I might have otherwise used to rest in between clients.
It's all about finding balance. I do it on days I have the energy, but if I had a busy day or things have been going badly I won't touch my pen.
I'm sure most of you have heard a variation of this advice: find the gaps in your day, maybe get up earlier or stay up later if you need to, so you can allocate that time to write. That's basically what I do, but sometimes you need to take a break.
The problem for me while writing Draft 1 of Case of the Crawling Shadow, at least for a while, I would try to cram writing into every spare gap I had. This is a side effect of doing Camp Nanowrimo in 2022, but even going into Draft 2 I tried to keep up that momentum.
I wore myself down until I feel like a nub of a person. I was trying to do 3 chapters worth of editing a week, and suffered for it.
What's Happening Now?
At this point, my goal is to finish the Case of the Crawling Shadow's third draft so we can start sending it to beta readers. It's about 50% done, but going slowly. My body is still a bit grimy from the whirlwind drafting process, and I've been working resting into my editing time.
With any luck, we'll finally be able to start getting the ball rolling this year. I'm pretty excited for it. For now, I am alternating editing this chapter and building a McMansion in Sons of the Forest.
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chrizbang · 3 years
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Pairing: Bang Chan x female reader, ft. Han Jisung
Genre: smut, a little bit of angst
Warnings: mature content, partying, drinking, kissing, unprotected sex, oral sex, lowkey fuckboy!Chan
Word count: 8.038
Summary: You had to do a project for the last semester in college before your vacation. Not only you had to deal with the stress of doing it right, but you also had to deal with the stupid crush you had on Bang Chan.
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"Felix, I'm not going to kiss Chan"
"Everyone, pay attention here, please," your teacher said. Slowly, everyone stopped with the side talk and paid attention to her. "For your last project of the semester, I decided that we are going to learn about different cultures." She got up from her table and went in the direction of the board. "Remember when I asked you guys to send me the names of your groups? Basically, I'm going to draw random countries for each group. I want you guys to do a study aboout the differences of said countries, based on a theme that you are going to choose.”
She started writing on the board.
“The theme must be something creative. If it is not creative, your project is going to lose points, okay?" she said enthusiastically.
She started to draw the countries for each group. Your group was formed by basically you and Felix. Felix became your friend after the first day of class but you felt like he was your friend since forever. "I want this project by the end of the month, so..." she looked at the little calendar on her table. "You guys have three weeks. Any doubts?" Some people raised their hands but you weren't paying attention anymore, you were writing down the countries that you had to work with: Australia, Germany, Spain and, Korea. You had no idea what to do for your project. Your teacher was very clear: it had to be creative. Creativity wasn't your thing. "Okay, guys, class dismissed," your teacher announced. Everyone started to get up and leave but you sat there, trying really hard to think on a theme. "Hey, we have to go," Felix said. "What are we going to do?" "We have plenty of time to think about it, Y/N." Felix grabbed your backpack and started to put your stuff inside of it. "Three weeks is not plenty of time, Felix." "Okay, what's your idea, then?" "I don't know, that's why I'm asking you, dumbass." Felix rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand, dragging you out of the classroom. "How about we do a project about the foods of each country?" "Hm, that's interesting." You took your backpack from his hands to grab a little notebook to write down the ideas. "But I don't think is creative enough." Felix sat at the bench at the corner of the hall. "What if we did the differences in the skin texture of each country?" Felix looked at you and saw the pout on your face. "Too much?" You simply nodded. You sat down next to him, already tired from all the thinking. "You know what would be funny?" you grinned. "What?" "If we made a project about the way that people from each country kiss and the differences from each one." "Y/N, that's it!" Felix got up, excited. "Felix, I was joking." "No, this is a great idea. It's creative! There are students from different countries in our college, so we can totally do it!" "As far as I know, there's only one german student here. Are you going to kiss him?" You stood in front of him, arms crossed. "You are going to kiss him." Felix looked at you like what he was saying was obvious. "Felix!" "Look, we have four countries. I can kiss two people and you kiss two people. It's not going to be hard." "You know what? I'm going home. I'm going to think about a better theme." "You know you can't," Felix shouted while you left. Felix was right, this idea was the best one. It was creative and bold, but kissing random people was the hard part. Not that you didn't like to kiss, but you were used to kissing people at parties, people that you would kiss while you were drunk and you knew that you would never see them again. Not people from your college where you would have to see them every day. "Hi, Jisung," you said while you opened the door of your apartment. Your roommate was laying down on the couch, playing video games. "Hey," he greeted you. You lifted his legs so you could sit on the couch, putting his legs on your lap. "Are you okay?" he asked, noticing your expression. "Ugh, I have this stupid project to make," you whined, throwing your head back and closing your eyes, letting the frustration take over your body. "Do you wanna talk about it?" "No." Your phone rang, you grabbed it only to see that it was Felix calling you. "Hey, Felix." "What's up Feliiix," Jisung screamed. "Hi Jisung,” he yelled, making you pull the phone away from your ear. “Y/N, can you come to my apartment today?" "Nope. No, I can't." "Why? Do you have something to do?" Felix asked. "I don't want to. You know why." "Y/N, you have to get over the crush you have on Chan one day." "I don't have a crush on him, Felix. He just makes me...uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, in a weird way. I don't know how to explain." "Y/N, he's not even here now. Besides, we have to work on the details for our project," Felix insisted. "Why don't you come to my apartment?" "Because every time I go there we can never get anything done because of Jisung. Please? Please, Y/N." "Fine," you sighed. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." "Are you going to get pretty for Channie?" Felix teased. "Shut the fuck up." You turned off your phone and went to your room. The truth is: you did have a crush on Chan. Chan was handsome, funny, he had a great body and a great personality. He was also a fuckboy. You can't remember the number of times that you saw him with different girls in their apartment, one prettier than the other. Eventually, you stopped going to their apartment because you never knew how to behave like a normal human being around him and, seeing him with pretty girls wasn't helping. You took a quick shower and dressed in simple clothes, you didn't want Felix teasing you. While walking through the campus in the direction of their apartment, you kept trying to calm yourself. It has been a while since you saw Chan, so you were excited, even though you were trying to convince yourself that you weren't. Felix said that he wasn't home, so there was no reason for you to be nervous. You stopped in front of their door and took a deep breath. You knocked and it took a moment before Felix answered. "Hey, Y/N," Felix screamed, giving you a hug. "Don't act like we didn't see each other a few hours ago." You entered their apartment. The structure was the same for all the apartments on the campus, but each one had its own piece of decoration. Surprisingly enough, Felix and Chan's apartment had a great decoration and was super clean. "So... let's go to your room." "Are you sure that you don't want to work in the living room?" Felix asked. "I'm sure," you said, already going in the direction of his room. Felix laughed. He knew you were trying to avoid Chan. You sat on Felix's bed with your notebook in your hands, ready to take notes. "Look," Felix said, sitting in front of you. "I know that you don't want to use kissing as a theme, but..." Felix raised his hand when he saw your expression, trying to explain himself. "It is the perfect theme, Y/N. We are not going to find something as creative and daring as this. And this is important for our grades, we are not doing very well on this subject, remember?" Felix tilted his head. You know he was right. "Fine, you are not going to leave me alone, are you?" "Nope." Felix got up from the bed and grabbed his notebook on his table, to show you some annotations. "So, we have to find people from Australia, Germany, Spain, and Korea. We already know the german student, don't worry, I'll talk to him so you can kiss him." Felix wrote down something in his notebook and continued. "There's a spanish girl in Chan's class, I'm gonna ask him to help me out." The simple mention of Chan's name made you feel butterflies in your stomach. "For korean, I thought about the possibility of..." Felix hesitated and looked at you. "No." "Come on, Y/N." "I am not going to kiss Jisung, Felix." "Fine, I'll look for a korean girl somewhere." "There's probably someone in our college." "The problem is someone australian. Don't get me wrong, I love you and you are gorgeous. But I'm not going to kiss you." "I don't want to kiss you either, Felix." "Felix." You heard Chan calling, startling you. "I'm in my room," Felix yelled. Chan opened the door of Felix's room. You looked at your notebook to pretend that you were occupied. Chan and Felix talked about ordering food for dinner or something. "Y/N," Chan said when he noticed you, making you instantly look in his direction. "Long time no see." He had a stupid cocky smile on his face. His sweet voice made you swallow hard. "H-hi, Chan." Of course, you had to stutter. "You can stay for dinner if you want," Chan offered before leaving the room. "So cute," Felix whispered, looking at your red face. "I have to go," you said, gathering your stuff. "But Chan invited you for dinner, Y/N," Felix teased you. "Bye, Felix." "Okay, let me walk you to the door." Luckily, Chan was occupied in the kitchen so he didn't see you leave. "Text me once you get there, okay?" Felix said. "Okay, bye." You kept thinking about the little interaction with Chan on your way home. He dyed his hair since the last time you saw him. Instead of blonde, it was now black. Both colors suited him so much. He was wearing a black sweatshirt and some jeans, the most basic clothes ever and he looked breathtaking. You hated how you were head over heels for him, you felt like a teenager. It was so silly. Days went by and you had a lot of work from college. Felix already worked on his part and managed to kiss the spanish girl from Chan’s class. Something made you feel like kissing wasn't the only thing he did, but you didn't want to know the details. Some students were planning a party and Chan invited Felix, who invited you. "I don't know, I have so much to do," you whined. "Can I go?" Jisung asked, stuffing some food in his mouth. "Of course," Felix said. "Y/N, that's exactly why you should go." He said that while holding some of the papers that were on the couch while you worked on your homework. "You need to ease your mind from all the stress from school." "He's right," Jisung agreed. "She's so grumpy lately because of college." "Shut up, Jisung,” you whined. "Okay, fine. But only if you help finish this," you told Felix. "Fine." The party was on a tuesday night, Felix would go with Chan so you asked Jisung to take you. "Looking good," Jisung stated, eyeing you up and down as he entered your room. You were putting your earrings on. You decided that since you would have all the work to go to a party, you had to a least look good. So you were wearing a leather skirt with a white long-sleeved blouse that showed some cleavage. "Thanks, Jisung. Are you ready?" "Yeah. Let's go." The party wasn't far away from your dorm so you were able to go walking. It was 9 pm, so leaving Jisung with you made you feel safer. Jisung was the type of person who was outgoing, he talked a lot and made you laugh all the time. Along the way, he talked about college and his classes. He studied music production and he seemed really passionate about it. You thought it was cute how his eyes glowed while he talked about his classes. It was funny because Chan also studied music production, but he was from a different classroom. Some minutes later, you were at the place of the party. You had no idea whose house was that, but you completely forgot about it once you were inside. The first thing you saw was Chan, but he was too occupied to see you. He was kissing a girl. She was gorgeous, with long blonde hair, and a tight red dress that accentuated her curves. You were sure that Chan enjoyed that dress by the way his hands ran over her body, stopping at her ass to grab it. "I'm gonna look for Felix," you whispered to Jisung. You found Felix standing next to a table where people were playing beer pong. "Y/N," he yelled when he saw you. He ran in your direction, giving you a tight hug that made you realize that he was probably, already, a little drunk. "Hi," you said with a sad voice. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. It's not important." "If it's not important, why are you making that face?" He held your face with his hands, looking right into your eyes. "Felix, I don't wanna talk about it, not now." You looked in the direction of the table. "Can I play?" "Sure," Felix shrugged. You played beer pong with Felix and some unknown people and eventually, you started to feel dizzy. "I'm going to use the bathroom," you said, stumbling on some drunk people while you tried to leave. You went to the second floor, looking from door to door when you finally saw the bathroom one. However, when you got closer, you realized that there was someone inside of it. And they weren't alone. You could hear the sound of skin slapping against skin and muffled moans. You widened your eyes, feeling embarrassed by witnessing people having sex. When you turned around to leave, you heard the girl moaning "fuck Chan, harder." You could hear Chan groaning while he fucked her.
You swallowed hard and left. There was another bathroom on the first floor which you found eventually. Once you were inside, you sat on the toilet and cried. You had this stupid crush on Chan for so long and look at you. Crying in the bathroom while he fucked a girl in another bathroom. You stayed there for a while, feeling sorry for yourself until you got fed up. It was time to get over him. You cleaned your tears and got up to go back to the party. You looked around for Felix but couldn't find him anywhere. "Y/N," you looked in the direction of the person calling you and saw Jisung enthusiastically waving at you. He was standing in the middle of the living room where people were dancing. "Hey," you half yelled since the song was loud. "Are enjoying the party?" "Not really." You really wanted to leave, you didn't feel like staying at that party, and you especially didn't feel like dancing. That's when you looked around and saw Chan at the corner of the living room, talking to Felix. You saw that he had his eyes on you. Like he would always do, looking at you like he was checking you out but without it being obvious. You clenched your fists, you were tired of Chan teasing you. You had an idea and you didn't even stop to think about it. You grabbed Jisung's face and kissed him. It was a weird kiss at first, the smell of alcohol exhaling in the air. Jisung's lips were soft but eager, he held onto your waist, getting your body closer to his. He wasted no time before shoving his tongue inside of your mouth, taking you by surprise. You kissed him for a while but you stopped the moment you felt him rubbing his boner on you. You lightly pushed him by his shoulders.
"I have to go," you said, leaving the room. Jisung stayed there, looking at you, without knowing how to react. You decided that you had to leave. You were confused, upset, angry and a little horny, thanks to Jisung. You started to walk in the direction of the gates of the house when you heard somebody calling your name. "Y/N, wait!" You sighed and turned around. The last thing you needed was to talk to Chan. "What do you want?" you roared. "Are you leaving?" "Yes. I'm going home." He looked like he was angry at something, but you simply shrugged. "Let me take you home. It's way too late for you to be walking alone," he said in a serious tone. "I don't need your help, Chan." You turned around to leave when he grabbed your arm. "This was not a suggestion. I'm taking you home," he growled. You pulled your arm from his hands but didn't fight. Chan walked with you to your apartment quietly. Not a word was said until he stopped in front of your dorm. "Thanks," you said, looking at the floor. "So, Jisung, huh?. I didn't expect that." "I'm sorry?" You raised your head, looking at him. "How long have you been dating him?" he asked. He really looked like something was bothering him, clenching his jaw and crossing his arms. You felt like he was fighting with you for doing something wrong. "T-that's none of your business. Goodnight, Chan," you remarked. You went in the direction of your door and stopped. You were so angry at him, you couldn't stop the words from coming out of your mouth. "Where's the girl you were fucking in the bathroom? You should be worried about her." Chan widened his eyes and smiled. You wanted to punch that stupid smile out of his face. "Are you jealous?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. "Fuck off." You unlocked the door and went inside. You lay down on your bed and closed your eyes. It didn't take long for you to sleep since you were exhausted. You couldn't say that you had a good night of sleep though, you woke up with a hangover and headache. Still, you had class first thing in the morning so you had to go. You took a shower and got dressed up when you remembered what happened to Jisung. You were not ready to face the consequences of your actions, so you tried to leave without seeing him. You were sitting in your class, trying to pay attention when Felix arrived. "Hey," he said, sitting by your side. "Hey," you whined. "I have good news. There was a german girl at the party last night, so I did your job for you." "Yay," you said without any enthusiasm. "Aaand, since you kissed Jisung, you have the korean part. There's only Australia missing." "Haven't you kissed any girls when you lived in Australia?" you interrogated him. "I did, but I'm australian. I think it would be better from the perspective of someone who isn't, you know?" You sighed. When you started to pack your stuff to leave after the class was over, you groaned. "What is it, Y/N?" Felix asked. "I have to go home." "And?" "I kissed Jisung, Felix." "Was it that bad?" Felix tilted his head, not understanding your point. "That's not the point. He's my roommate and my friend, that's weird." "Well, unless you are planning to move somewhere else, you'll have to talk to him." You groaned again, throwing your head back. You went home thinking about what exactly you would tell Jisung. You always thought that Jisung was an attractive guy and you would be lying if you said you never took a look at his body when he would walk around shirtless. There was even that one time where he brought a girl home, they tried to stay quiet but you could hear them fucking. That turned you on so much that you had to touch yourself. Still, Jisung was your friend and kissing your friends was not something that you usually did. When you got home, you looked around for Jisung. You heard some noises in his room. You knocked at the door and he stayed silent for a while. "Come in," he said. "Hey," you purred when you opened the door. "I think I need to talk." "Yeah, I think we should." "Sorry for kissing you last night, that was a stupid thing to do," you stumbled on your words, barely giving yourself time to breathe. "Y/N," Jisung raised his hand. "It's okay. You are a good kisser." "Thanks. I guess."
"I have to admit that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was thinking..." Jisung hesitated for a moment, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.
"Why don't we do it again?" he suggested.
You bit your lips. You had to admit that that's not what you were expecting from him.
You sat at the edge of his bed, getting closer to him.
"Jisung, I... I kissed you because I wanted Chan to notice me, maybe get him jealous." Saying it out loud made you realize how childish and silly that was, you couldn't help but to feel embarrassed.
"Y/N, I don't care. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me," he laughed.
Jisung sat by your side.
"What do you think about being friends with benefits?"
He watched your reaction. You had a confused expression on your face, trying to understand his words.
"When was the last time that you had sex?" he asked.
"I don't know. Eight months ago?"
"See? It's been a while for me, too. Besides, you can even use me to make Chan jealous, if you want."
"Are you listening to yourself, Jisung?"
"Yes. We can still be friends, no feelings involved. Think about it."
Jisung got up from the bed and walked in the direction of the door.
"Ji-jisung."
He turned around to look at you. "Yes?"
"I want it."
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Felix, 5:35 pm: Hey 
Felix, 5:35 pm: Did you write your dissertation about the korean part?
Y/N, 5:38 pm: I did
Y/N, 5:38 pm: Even though I don't think it's really useful since I was drunk
Felix, 5:40 pm: You should kiss Jisung again then, lol
Y/N, 5:41 pm: Maybe I will ;)
Felix, 5:42 pm: Y/N??? You nasty little b
Felix, 5:43 pm: Send it to me, please.
Y/N, 5:45 pm: Okay.
Y/N, 5:45 pm: Hey, are going to do something tomorrow?
Felix, 5:48 pm: No, why?
Y/N, 5:49 pm: Let's go to the movies. There's that horror movie that we wanted to watch in the theaters.
Felix, 5:51 pm: Sure!
Y/N, 5:52 pm: Can I bring Jisung?
Felix, 5:52 pm: Yes
Felix, 5:54 pm: But don't you dare to make me feel like the third wheel.
Jisung didn't even know that you had plans with him that afternoon. But you wanted to spend time with him, to ensure the "friends" part of your negotiation. After accepting to be friends with benefits, he didn't talk about it anymore. You thought that he would kiss you again or something, but no, he went to the kitchen to make some mac and cheese for dinner and then went to sleep.
"Jisung," you said, knocking on his door. You know that if he was silent he was probably taking a nap.
"What?" he asked, in an annoyed voice.
"Can I come in?"
"Ugh, no, I'm sleeping."
You entered the room anyway. You swallowed hard when you saw that he was laying on his stomach, shirtless. His back was exposed for you to see. It was not the first time that you saw him like that, but it was the first time since you kissed him.
"Get up, we are going to the theater."
"We?" he asked, looking at you.
"Yes, you, me and, Felix."
"Aww," he whined. "I thought it would be a cute date."
Jisung winked at you with a cocky smile on his face.
"Shut up. You have ten minutes to get dressed."
You agreed with Felix to meet him at the movie theater, so you left with Jisung on an Uber.
When you arrived at the movie theater, you could see Felix at the line to buy the tickets, but he wasn't alone.
"Felix?" you asked when you got closer to him.
"Hey!" he said. "I hope you don't mind Chan coming with us. He insisted that he wanted to come. Like really."
"Hi, Y/N," Chan purred, smiling at you. He then looked a Jisung.
"Jisung," he said in a low voice. His face looked serious, it didn't look like he was happy to see Jisung there.
Chan looked back at you. “I hope you don’t mind if Felix and I accompany your date with your little friend with benefits.”
You didn’t have time for a reaction since Felix pulled you to buy your tickets and some popcorn and headed to the movie. The mood was heavy, Jisung walked around with his arm around your neck all the time and you saw Chan looking at you with an upset expression. Was he jealous? You didn't know.
You sat by Jisung's side on the theater and Felix sat by your side, but after talking about something with Chan, they switched places.
Chan's leg touched yours and you felt your heart dancing in your chest. Why couldn't you get over him? You held Jisung's hand, trying to distract yourself. You were not giving Chan what he wanted.
With the corner of your eye, you would see Chan watching you sometimes. But you avoided looking back at him at any cost.
Jisung would whisper some things in your ear during the movie, making you giggle.
Suddenly, you felt Chan moving next to you. He stretched out for a moment, but he left his arm on your chair, next to your shoulders. You swallowed hard and rolled your eyes. Would you be lying if you said you didn't like the sudden attention you were getting from Chan? Yes, you would. But you felt confused and angry. Chan was acting jealous out of nowhere, to the point where you started to feel guilty, while you had to deal with the countless times where you saw him with other girls. Still, you never acted like a jealous teenager around him, so yeah, you were not giving in. The movie ended and all you wanted to do was to leave the theater. Jisung was by your side all the time, walking with you in front of Chan and Felix. "Let's go home, darling," Jisung purred, after giving you a peck on the cheeks. You could tell that he was loving to tease Chan. You said goodbye to Felix, and, reluctantly, to Chan and left with Jisung. When you got home you sat on the couch, still thinking about everything that was happening. Jisung sat by your side, almost sitting on your lap. "Ouch," you whined. "Sorry. What is up with Chan? He looked really angry at me today." "I don't know and I don't care," you shrugged. "Come on, Y/N. I think he has a crush on you and got all mad now that you have a man." "Oh, I have a man?" you looked at Jisung with an amused expression. "Well, we are friends with benefits, remember?" Jisung laid his head on your shoulder while his hand grabbed your thigh. "I almost forgot since you didn't say anything about it anymore." Jisung's thumb drew patterns on your skin while he talked. "Well, I wanted to give you space, you know? To get used to it." "Awn, you are so sweet." "I am, baby." You looked at Jisung, who was also looking at you. Slowly, you got closer to him until your lips touched. Now that you were sober, it wasn't so weird to kiss him. He was very eager, but not in a bad way. He played with your tongue while he guided the kiss, holding your head with his hand. Suddenly, he grabbed your waist, making you sit on his lap. He kept on kissing you, running his hands through your body. You started to grind on his boner, just to tease him a little. Jisung held hard on your waist, pulling you closer to him, so you would grind harder on him. You couldn't hold the little whine that left your lips when you felt his hard dick against your clit. "Take this off," he whispered, helping you to take off your t-shirt. He didn't waste time, grabbing your boobs and pulling your bra down. he licked one of your nipples while he played with the other.  You moaned loud, rocking your hips on his cock. Jisung started to kiss your neck, working to take his belt off. He opened his pants and freed his dick. "Are you on the pill?" he asked. "Yes." Your skirt was already raised, exposing your wet panties. He pulled your panties to the side and held your waist, helping you out so you could slide on his dick. You whined when you felt him stretching you out. You started to ride his dick at a fast pace, not giving your pussy time to adjust. "Fuck, Y/N," Jisung moaned. "I'm not gonna last long if you keep it like that." "Play with my clit, I'm close," you whined. He rubbed his thumb against your clit while you sat on his dick. After a little while, you came, kissing him on the lips. Quickly, you got off his lap and got on your knees. You grabbed his dick and started pumping and sucking it. Jisung came, moaning loud, filling your mouth up with his hot cum. You swallowed it and looked at him with an innocent face. "That's fucking hot," he whined. "Y/N, we need to finish our project," Felix said. You were sitting in the cafeteria. You had only one week before you had to deliver the project and Felix was starting to panic. "I know, I'm still looking for a guy who is from Australia that's not you." "You know a guy that's Australian and it's not me." "Felix, I'm not going to kiss Chan," you grumped. "Why not?" You turned around to see Chan standing behind you, with that cocky smile that he always had on his face. He sat on the table by your side. "Felix told me about your project. Why are not going to kiss me? Is your little boyfriend going to stay mad?" he teased. "You know that Jisung it's not my boyfrie-," you stopped once you noticed that you were explaining yourself. You cleaned your throat. "I don't owe you any explanation, Chan. And Felix, you really need to stop exposing my life to him."
Felix frowned.
"Come on, Y/N. You would rather fail than to kiss me?" he asked, tilting his head and looking at you, using a soft voice. You hated how he made you feel butterflies in your stomach by the way he looked at you. You hated how he looked so good with that stupid sweatshirt and his messy hair, making you think that he was probably late for college today. Probably because he was fucking some hot girl the night before. "I'm n-not gonna fail. I'll kiss Felix if I have to." You got up and left, going home. Felix called your name but you kept walking. In your college, there were a lot of foreign students, but not many australians, from what you knew. You knew that were no way that Felix would kiss you, so you had to do something. You were looking on Tinder, trying to find what you needed when Felix messaged you asking for you to go to his house. He said that you needed to at least finish to write the project, even if Australia was missing. You went to his apartment, ready to be angry at Chan, but you soon learned that he wasn't there. You and Felix did what you had to do and by the end of it, you were both mentally exhausted. "How come just writing something can be so tiring?" Felix asked, throwing himself on the couch. "Probably because we are both very stupid," you stated. "That must be it. I'm kind of hungry but we don't have anything to eat. I think I’m going to the supermarket to buy us something, okay?" "Okay. I'm gonna review our work while you are there." You were sitting there, doing your job for about ten minutes when you heard the door opening. "Already?" you asked. "Y/N?" "Oh, Chan. I thought it was Felix." you sighed. "Sorry to disappoint." Chan went to his room and stayed there for a while. You found it strange that he didn't come to tease you. "Y/N, can you come to my room for a moment?" "I'm busy." You felt your palms sweating. Was he really inviting you to stay alone, in his room, with him? "Please? It's going to be really quick, I need to show you something."
You wanted to say no, you really did. But you went to his room anyway. Chan closed the door when you were inside and told you to sit on the chair next to the table. He had his notebook turned on. "Put this on," he said, handing you his earphones. Chan played a song. It had a smooth melody, with soft lyrics. The person singing had a sweet voice. The lyrics talked about feelings and liking someone. It was short, about a minute and a half. "Do you like it?" Chan asked, with expectation shining on his eyes. "Yes, it's beautiful." He leaned on the edge of the table next to you. "Well, I wrote it and produced it. I also recorded it," he said with a smile on his face, but this time it wasn't a cocky one, he looked satisfied. "Oh, are you the one singing?" "Yes." "I didn't know you could sing." Chan played with his fingers and looked down. You have never seen him like that before. He looked hesitant, almost nervous. "Y/N, I-" "Hello?" Felix opened Chan's door. "Y/N, I was looking for you. We need to finish our project." Chan didn't say anything, he just left the room. "I hope I'm not interrupting something," Felix added. You shrugged and went to the living room with him. You finished all you needed about your project and went home. You looked for Jisung, until you found him in his room. "Can I come in?" you timidly asked when you opened the door. "Of course." You ran to his bed, getting under the covers with him. He was sitting down with his back against the headboard, he looked like he was studying. "I don't want to bother you, Jisung." "That's fine. What's up?" he directed his attention to you. "I'm so confused." "About what?" "About Chan." Jisung laughed. "Tell me about it." "Today he showed a song that he wrote. It was about love and stuff. And he has been acting all jealous. I don't know how to feel about it." "You really like him, don't you?" You sighed. "Jisung, I don't think we should be friends with benefits anymore." "It's okay, Y/N. Can we still be friends?" "Of course!" you hugged him, resting your head against his chest. "I'm gonna miss the sex though," he teased. "Jisung!" "Just kidding, baby." Y/N, 9:45 pm: Felix Y/N, 9:45 pm: We have one day before our project is due Y/N, 9:45 pm: I'm gonna ask you something Felix, 9:58 pm: Y/N I DON'T WANT TO KISS YOU Y/N, 9:59 pm: It's not that, dumbass Y/N, 9:59 pm: I need you to ask Chan if he will kiss me Y/N, 10:00 pm: But I want to make it clear that this is strictly professional Felix, 10:02 pm: Okay, I'm gonna talk to him You had no other choice anymore. You couldn't afford to have a bad grade so yeah, you were going to kiss Bang Chan. Felix said that you would have to go to their apartment. You already started to feel nervous. When you arrived, Chan opened the door for you. "Where's Felix?"" you asked. You were holding tight on the sleeve of your blouse. You walked past Chan while you entered their apartment and you felt your legs going weak when you smelled his cologne. He smelled so good. "He said that he wanted to give us privacy," he answered. You frowned, that was typical of him. "Look, I'm only doing this because I need to, okay? We don't have much time anymore and we really need to finish this project." Chan got closer to you, looking into your eyes. You wanted to run away. "Okay," he said. You stayed there looking for each other. You didn't know what to do. "A-are you going to kiss me?" you asked. Chan smirked. "I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous," he admitted. "You? Nervous?" "Yeah." "Chan, please. I've seen you kissing a bunch of girls a lot of times and you've never looked like you were nervous." "Yeah, but they were not you." Chan's words danced in your ears. "That's not funny." "What?" he asked. "It's not fun to play with someone's feeling like that." "I'm not playing with your feelings, Y/N. I'm serious." Chan touched your chin, making you feel shivers down your spine. One little touch and he had you on the palm of his hand. "I've known for a long time that you had a crush on me." You felt your cheeks burning. "I've always thought that you were amazing. Gorgeous, funny, smart. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you. But when I saw you kissing Jisung... I don't know. I felt so bad. I think I was used to having you around." Chan's hand that was on your chin ran to your cheek, holding the side of your face. "C-chan," you whispered. Chan shortened the distance between your bodies and kissed you. By the moment where his lips touched yours, you knew for sure that you would get addicted to it. His plump lips were soft and warm, welcoming yours like a tight hug. His other hand grabbed your waist, getting you closer to him. It was so soft and sweet, not something that you would expect from him. You held onto his neck, touching him to make sure you weren't dreaming. You wanted more. You slid your tongue in his mouth, deepening the kiss. Your hand ran through his chest until it reached the end of his shirt. You put your hand under his shirt, feeling his abs. "Y/N," Chan said. "Please," you whispered against his lips. You weren't thinking straight anymore. Chan's lips started to go down until they reached your neck. He sucked on it, making you whimper. "Are you sure about it? We don't have to do anything if you don't want to," he asked, looking right into your eyes. "I want to." Chan held your hand and took you to his room. He told you to lay on his bed. You never thought that this would happen one day. He laid down next to you, facing you. "We don't have to do anything, Y/N." He smiled, the stupid dimples making his face look cuter than ever. "We can just talk, maybe kiss and-" "Chan. I want you to fuck me." You were begging. You were begging for that cock like a little bitch and you were not embarrassed. Chan widened his eyes and swallowed hard. "Okay, okay," he giggled. He got on his knees and took his shirt off. You have never seen him shirtless and you were pretty much pleased by what you saw. You wanted to kiss every inch of his pale skin. Chan got on top of you. He kissed you, exploring your lips. You were wearing a dress that was quickly on the floor of his room. "Fuck," Chan groaned when he saw you only in lingerie. You saw the boner on his pants and licked your lips. You pushed him on the bed and got on top of him. You helped him so he could take off his pants and underwear. His dick was marvelous. Above average, thick, pink tip and veiny. You didn't waste time, you grabbed it and started to lick the head. Chan moaned, closing his eyes. You twirled your tongue around it while you pumped it with your hand. You sucked hard on the tip and Chan moaned again. You tried to go down on it as much as could, which wasn't much since deepthroating wasn't your specialty, but you guessed that Chan was enjoying it by the sounds he was making. Chan grabbed your head and stopped you. "Lay down, baby girl," he demanded. He opened the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed and grabbed a condom but he didn't put it on yet. Instead, he took off your lingerie and got between your legs. He slowly kissed your belly, going down your body. He bit the inside of your thighs, leaving marks behind. He finally went where you wanted him to. He licked your pussy lips, making you whine. He teased you, going from penetrating you with his tongue to licking your clit. You were moaning and whimpering, feeling your orgasm approaching. "Chan, please," you moaned. He started to finger you while he licked your clit. It was too much for you and you came on his mouth. Chan kept licking you until you couldn't take it anymore because of the overstimulation. He took the condom, slid it on his dick and, pumped it a few times. He kissed you, making you taste your own juices. He finally started to slide himself into you, slowly. You whined, feeling him stretching your pussy. "Fuck, baby. So fucking good," he whimpered. When he was fully inside, he gave you a deep kiss. He kissed you for a while, giving you time to get used to him inside of you. "C-chan," you moaned. He started to move, pounding into you at a slow and deep pace. You could feel every inch of him inside of you and you loved it. Chan's moaning was driving you crazy. "So good, baby," he said in your ear. His low voice went straight to your folds, getting you wetter. He kept it slow and intimate, rubbing his pelvis against your clit. "Chan, I'm g-gonna cum." "Cum for me, baby girl." You came again, feeling your legs shaking. Chan kept fucking you until he felt his high approaching. "Ah, fuck, baby," he whined when he came, thrusting deep inside of you. Chan lay down by your side. He took the condom off and threw it in the trash bin next to his bed.
He hugged you, making you lay on his chest. You stayed quiet, listening to his heartbeat, no words were needed. Chan played with your hair, his warm arms making you feel safe. Suddenly, your stomach growled. "Somebody's hungry," Chan teased. He started to move so he could get up. "No!" you whined. "I'm gonna get something for you to eat, baby," he giggled. You let go of him and Chan got up from the bed. He put on his underwear and went to the kitchen. You decided to put your clothes on. Some minutes later Chan came back. He widened his eyes when he saw you with your dress back on. "Are you leaving?" he asked, worried. "No, I just wanted to put it back on. Unless you want me to leave." "Of course not!" Chan sat by your side on the bed, he brought a plate with a sandwich and a cup of orange juice. "Here," he handed it to you. You ate while Chan talked about the songs he was producing. It was interesting to hear even though you had no understanding about the subject. "It's getting late. I'm gonna get dressed so I can take you home, okay?" he said. "You don't have to, Chan." "But I want to." Chan walked you to your apartment. He stayed with you in front of your dorm for a while, kissing and hugging you like he didn't want to let you go. Reluctantly, he went back home. When you went inside, you were surprised to see Felix sitting on the couch with Jisung, playing video games. "Wow, finally," he said. "That was a long kiss," Jisung teased. He didn't sound bitter, it really looked like he was being funny, which made you feel relieved. You sat between them, laying your head on Felix's shoulder. "I had sex with him." "Too much information," Jisung said. They laughed. "It's not funny, guys." "What's wrong, Y/N?" Felix asked. "Isn't that good? You've had a crush on him since forever." "Yeah, but what if I gave him what he wanted?" You got up from the couch, frustrated. "He had sex with me, so he will probably run for the next girl to fuck." "Y/N, I'm pretty sure he's head over hills for you," Jisung said. "I'm going to my room." Later that night you finished your project with Felix. It was due soon, so you were relieved but disappointed in yourself. You let yourself go so easily. You didn't want to feel like that, but you couldn't help it. You were feeling insecure. It wasn't just sex to you, you really felt a connection with Chan. But did he feel the same? What if he just acted as he liked you so he could fuck you? Claim you as his so he could show dominance against Jisung? You didn't know. The day to deliver the project finally arrived. You were relieved that it was finally done and the semester was almost over too. Soon you would be on vacation from college. When you were leaving the classroom, you saw Chan waiting for you outside. "Hey," he said when you got closer. "Hi." He hugged and kissed your cheek. "Wow, right in front of me, disgusting," Felix said. "Can I have your phone number?" Chan asked. "I thought of asking Felix, but I wanted to ask you in person. I also wanted to see you." "Yeah. Of course." "Hey, guys. I love both of you, but you are not going to make me the third wheel," Felix said, standing between you and Chan and intertwining his arms with yours and with Chan's. It was the last day of class. You and Felix got a 9 out of 10 on your project. Felix thought it deserved more but you were just happy that you did well. Your teacher said that she was impressed by the theme you chose. She loved how bold it was and it was exactly the type of stuff that she wanted. You laughed about the way Felix got excited because she complimented your project.
You were sitting in the cafeteria with Jisung, Felix and, Chan. At first, the idea of Chan and Jisung together made you uncomfortable, but they seemed to get along, so you were satisfied. Jisung also thought it would be better if he moved in with Felix so Chan could live in the dorm with you, which Chan promptly accepted. You went home with Chan, talking about your plans for your vacation and how you could spend time together. You ate and watched some TV, but you were really tired. Chan laid down on the couch and you laid on top of him, resting your face on his chest. You loved to stay with him like this, feeling the warmth of his body. You just stayed there with your eyes closed and feeling his perfume. Chan's phone rang and quickly answered, he didn't know that you were awake and he didn't want it to bother you. You heard him talking to some guy, he was inviting Chan to a party. "Thanks for inviting me, mate, but I'll have to decline," he said, almost whispering. "I'm with my girlfriend and I want to spend the day with her." You smiled. Chan was what you always wanted and you finally had it, and he also had you.
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A/N: This is a long ass fanfic, I tried to proofread it but it might still have some grammatical errors. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
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somethingpoetichere · 3 years
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lovebug- caliban imagine
sup. fic inspired by my favorite song in THE world. not as soft mushy as it may sound I promise caliban is a nice lil sarcastic SHIT with a big ole crush. mild sabrina bashing but its funny in context and I think it’s the way family behaves. reader is a Spellman, not a witch but DOES know about the supernatural/is part of the supernatural world. here with my once in a blue moon post lol. feedback would be appreciated!
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called her for the first time yesterday
finally found the missing part of me
felt so close but you were far away
left me without anything to say
Caliban was not an idiot- he knew not to underestimate the Spellman half-witch that had gone and declared herself queen of hell. So he’d taken the liberty of learning everything he could about her, noting her habits and schedule and the people she surrounded herself with.
And then he found you.
You weren’t a witch- at least, he hadn’t found your name in his diligent searching through the Book of the Beast- but you were something. That he was sure of. There was something slightly off about your presence, tinged a little glittery, though not altogether unpleasant.
No, not unpleasant at all, he mused as he watched you make your way towards your car. Tucked into a little yellow sundress, you stood out like a ray of sunshine in the wave of doom-and-gloom that hallmarked high school. The school bell rang out behind you, and Caliban felt his knees go disgustingly weak as you smiled brilliantly at Sabrina through the crowd.
It was a stupid, stupid decision that Caliban would never have made in the right state of mind, but he reasoned that pissing off Sabrina was validation enough to get your attention. He ducked into your path on purpose, taking advantage of your momentary distraction as he gently bumped into you. oops.
You collided with a solid wall, books tumbling out of your hands as strong arms reached out to steady you. You let out a surprised yelp at the collision, peeking up curiously as the wall you’d hit laughed.
Oh, well that was a sight for sore eyes.
The golden haired stranger holding you was, well, gorgeous. Bright blue eyes peered down at you as he grinned, and you felt the whole world shutter around you. You’d definitely been watching too many soap operas with your auntie, but goddamn it if you weren't positively putty.
“Hi there, stranger.” You giggled nervously, and Caliban suddenly remembered he’d had his arms around you for far too long to be acceptable. He reluctantly retreated, feeling something claw a little uncomfortably in his chest.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He apologized, moving to pick up your books as you bent down to retrieve them. He ran a hand through his hair in barely concealed bashfulness, unsure of why he felt so... unsettled, all of a sudden. 
“It’s alright, my head was in the clouds.” You waved off his apology, accepting the books he offered you with a grateful smile. “Are you new here? I don’t think we’ve met.”
“He’s new here!” Sabrina’s shrill voice interrupted, training her icy glare on Caliban, who fought back a smirk. “This is Caliban- he’s from... Australia! Yeah, down under!”
“Oh, I can show you around tomorrow! I know how scary it can be to be new here.” You patted his arm sympathetically, ignoring Sabrina’s stream of indignant protests. “I was with student council all day. If you’re a senior, we probably have most of the same classes.”
Caliban had shit to do. Caliban had trials to plan and souls to torture. But you were looking at him- all warmth and sunshine, and Sabrina’s look of pure horror only sweetened the deal.
“I’ll see you in class tomorrow then, sunshine.”
so worth it.
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again
Caliban didn't understand why the mortals all bemoaned high school as hell on earth. It certainly wasn't so bad once you got past the wave of body spray and the questionable cafeteria food. In fact, darting to class with a pretty girl beside him was pretty enjoyable, all things considered. 
You’d spent the day introducing him to the other students, passing him silly notes in class, and had even tugged him from the lunch room to hang out with your friends in the library. He learned that you pretty much did it all- student council, cheerleader, top of your class- all while managing to somehow know the name of everyone you passed with a smile in the halls. You were silly and sweet— smart as all hell with a wit that certainly kept the clay prince on his toes.
and he was smitten.
The groan that escaped your painted lips was delightfully sinful as you slumped in the seat beside him in english class. “I hate Romeo and Juliet. How do two people fall in love in a few days anyhow? And Mrs. Willows always makes us reenact the scenes, and it’s so corny.” The blush that colored your cheeks as he looked at you in concern was something he did his best to commit to memory- cheesiness be damned, Caliban was enjoying himself far too much.
Caliban smirked, skimming through the booklet he’d been passed as the teacher droned. The prince of hell had a certain flare for the dramatics, and Sabrina’s glare burning into the back of his head only fueled his antics. He had one scene in mind, and it was the scene that was certain to kill four birds with one stone- totally make you fall in love with him, he would somehow manage to kiss you (that part was a work in progress), piss off Sabrina, and also- piss off Sabrina.
And kiss you. So maybe five parts. Damn it, Caliban was going to have to make a list.
“Partners?” He whispered softly, gently tugging at your hand as the teacher sat back down. Caliban’s eyes were alight with a tinge of mischief that you either failed to notice or were simply amused by- and your answering nod was more than a little bashful. “We can do my favorite scene.”
“If you say the first kiss scene, I’m punching the daylights out of you.” You warned, playfully nudging his knee with your own. “It will be unkind and I will not feel bad.”
“My lady wounds me.” He dramatically rested his hand above his heart. “And we absolutely have to do this scene-” He raised his hand to silence your half-hearted protests- “because Billy told the guys in calculus that he was specifically going to be pissed if we did this scene.”
Okay, so maybe he’d stretched the truth a little bit. But Caliban knew that the mention of your seedy ex-boyfriend (who you’d enlightened him about during lunch) would absolutely get you to agree to the scene. And it wasn't like he’d lied— Billy Marlin’s glare was nearly as icy as Sabrina’s. And, it wasn't like the way Billy looked at you- with something akin to possession in his eyes- totally made Caliban want to fast track the kid to damnation right then and there. Nope.
“We can meet up later today to practice? I have cheerleading practice after school, but I’m free after that!” You grinned at him, and he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders as you rested your hand on his arm. The gesture was so effortless- but to Caliban, who’d never really experienced connection like this- you reduced him to all but clay again.
“I can drive you home after practice?” Caliban offered, enjoying the yelp that Sabrina let out from the back of the classroom. He shouldered your bag as the bell sounded, noting the way your eyes softened even further at the gesture. “We don't really have cheerleaders down under, you know.”
“You’re welcome to stay and watch.” You shrugged, ignoring the way your heart thudded erratically as he walked you to the locker room. “It won’t be too long today, and Sabrina has a date with Nick after, anyways.”
it was really just too easy.
i can't get your smile out of my mind
i think about your eyes all the time
you're beautiful but you don't even try
(you don't even, don't even try)
modesty is just so hard to find
Caliban wasn’t sure if he regretted his earlier offer. Sure, the sight of you tucked into the tight cheerleading uniform (did they make them that short on purpose?) was pretty much the pinnacle of male fantasy, and the smiles and winks you’d thrown his way whenever he caught your eye during your routines were something else altogether.
But getting the sight out of his brain as you rambled aimlessly in the car about today’s chapters of Dante’s Inferno, while he simultaneously tried to focus on the road and definitely not the way your skirt hitched on the leather seat...
Yeah, Caliban was pretty sure he was in love.
You weren’t too far off, in all honesty. Caliban’s large hands had a firm grip on the steering wheel, and you took the time to admire further up his toned arms as he drove. His hair fell in loose, windswept waves, and his side profile looked like it was sculpted by the freaking gods. Every so often he would glance your way, his perfect lips parting to reveal his perfect teeth and perfect smile and gods-
Yeah, you had the lovebug bad.
“So how did you meet Sabrina?” You questioned innocently enough, and Caliban had to restrain the urge to spill all of the hell-related gossip to you. How Sabrina had managed to keep all of her throne-seeking from you was beyond him, but it certainly added a thrill to his pursuit of you.
“I had some administrative issues the other day and ran into her. She doesn’t like me too much, I’ve gathered.” Caliban was careful not to lie- his entanglement with you had the added perk of pissing off your dearest cousin, but it was genuine on Caliban’s end. He found he didn’t really want to lie about things.
“Sabrina is... touchy.” You offered carefully, shifting in your seat as you pointed out directions to your home. “I don’t really understand why she doesn't like you, to be honest. I was actually going to have a word with her about being nice- you’ve been so sweet, and I was the new kid too a few years back. It's hard to find your place in the established dynamic of a small town.”
Caliban doubted you’d had too much of an issue, with the way the halls seemed to light up around you, but the accompanying smile you gave him was bright enough to soothe his imagined woes. “It’s alright, I reckon she’ll get used to having me around.”
“Used to you?” You mused with a giggle, leaning on the console in a gesture that brought your face much, much closer to his own. He was overwhelmed with your floral scent- something soft and summery and altogether you.
“I plan on being around you a lot, sunshine. If you don’t mind.” He grinned, turning to face you momentarily at the stop sign. Your eyes were wide with hardly concealed surprise at his words, and he watched the realization of the close proximity of his face flicker through them.
It happened so fast that Caliban was almost certain he imagined it- but your eyes had definitely glanced at his lips. The blush that tinged your cheeks as you pulled back confirmed it, and in a moment of calculated risk, Caliban moved to rest his hand on your exposed thigh. 
“No, I wouldn’t mind at all.” 
If Caliban squinted, he could almost picture that he was a normal teenage boy, driving a beautiful, normal girl home from school. The sinking sun was peeking through the windows, bathing you in an ethereal glow, and - at least for right now- everything was perfect.
you were perfect.
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again
Caliban draped himself across your bed, a languid smirk on his lips as you kicked haphazardly placed piles of clothes into your closet.
“I promise I’m not usually this messy,” you apologized with a sheepish smile, shoving a mass of shoes under your bed, “okay, that's a lie. I’m always this messy, I just didn’t expect company.”
Caliban hardly minded. It was adorable how embarrassed you were, and he took the time to take in your bedroom (drawn from his reverie only by the occasional delighted shout when you found a shirt you’d thought had been sacrificed to the laundry gods, or worse, Sabrina’s room).
The first thing Caliban noticed was the books. While your clothes lay in scattered piles, all of your books were meticulously organized and lovingly tucked into shelves that took up an entire wall of the room. Sabrina may have answered that Caliban’s only hobby was torturing babies (or her, which was the same thing, really— and also, what the hell? Caliban may have enjoyed the occasional soul flaying, but only when it was well deserved!)— but Caliban loved to read.
What was one lifetime in one world, when he could learn of a thousand others in just as many universes? Immortality could grow dull, and eternity had to be spent somehow. Caliban tried not to smile as you precariously placed the book that had found its way onto your nightstand back into its place, and supposed that it might be far more enjoyable with someone else.
You seemed satisfied with your damage control, and slumped onto the bed dramatically with a groan. It was then that Caliban’s hand found a stray victim of your clothing massacre.
“Nice.” He grinned, and you peeked up from your playbook to find him dangling a pink lace bra.
Shit.
“Give me that!” You lunged, but Caliban was too fast. He quickly moved them from your reach, laughing wildly as you wrestled him desperately for the bra. 
“You are the worst.” A groan escaped you, and you huffed in fake-defeat as Caliban smirked victoriously at your retreat. You leaped at the chance, tackling Caliban with all your might. While momentarily surprised, he reacted quickly and shifted so that he was now pinning you to the bed, his hair dangling wildly in your face as you both laughed.
Caliban’s face was so close that you could see the flecks of green in his eyes. For a moment, his eyes seemed to flicker to your lips, but in the seconds it took for you to find your voice again, you’d lost your nerve. 
“We should get back to the scene.”
The moment was broken, and Caliban retreated with a bashful look on his face. He ran a hand through his hair and moved to sit across from you, his cheeks tinted a little red as he politely handed you back your intimates and pretended to shield his eyes when you tossed it somewhere. You’d never been so freaking embarrassed in your life, but Caliban was smiling so softly at you, like you were—
“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” He motioned around with his hands dramatically, tone playful and light.
You were so dead. Caliban was freaking made for this romantic swooning nonsense that you’d tried to protest nearly the whole ride home, Billy Marlin be damned.
Giggling nervously in what you hoped seemed scene-appropriate, you tried your best to forget being a horny teenager to instead play a horny teenager. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.”
Caliban’s voice lowered, a smile still tugging at his lips as he took your hands in his own. “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”
“Ay, pilgrim.” Your own voice softened in turn as Caliban began to trace mindless patterns on the backs of your hands with his thumbs, “lips that they must use in prayer.”
“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.” Caliban’s eyes were soft, and you imagined that Shakespeare had pictured the man in front of you when putting the words to paper. The words fell so naturally from his lips and he seemed engrossed in the scene— he was, for lack of a better word, enchanting.
“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.” Your voice was hardly more than a breathless whisper, the proximity of your faces and the intimacy (however imagined) stealing the air from your lungs.
Caliban paused, his eyes meeting yours intently as if searching for something. Whatever it was, he seemed to find it as he took your face in both of his hands.
“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.” 
It was all too much. You could hardly be blamed for kissing him as fiercely as you did.
It was like fireworks, like every cheesy romance novel and play (cough, Romeo and Juliet) claimed it would be. You’d had plenty of kisses before, but never one that melted your brain like this. You forgot all about the scene, about how not real this was supposed to be as your hands tangled in his windswept hair and he pulled you onto his lap.
It was Caliban who first pulled away, only just so that your noses were touching. He was breathing heavily, eyes blown wide— and you felt your whole face turn red as reality consumed you again. “I am so sorry, I’ll just—”
“Where do you think you’re going, Juliet?” Caliban’s hands firmly gripped your hips, preventing you from moving away. His fingers thumbed the band of your skirt, and his next words were a whisper against your lips. 
“Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”
kissed her for the first time yesterday
everything i wished that it would be
suddenly i forgot how to speak
hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?
Caliban was in love. He’d spent the next three weeks with you reciting Romeo and Juliet, sharing shakes at Dr. Cerberus, and tugging you into empty classroom and closets at every opportunity to kiss you senseless.  Every moment not spent with you was at least somewhat occupied by the thought of you, and Caliban found he wasn’t the least bit upset about it.
And Sabrina was pissed.
If she’d hated him before, she positively loathed him now. It was the latest point of contention between yourself and your darling cousin, who’d you taken to threatening with various kitchen utensils and promises to tell the aunties she’d been sneaking out to make her behave. And Caliban, for his part, was perfectly polite— even though he still had every intention of taking the throne from the inexperienced witch who promised to destroy the balance of heaven and hell.
Which presented Caliban’s own latest dilemma. He was going to have to tell you eventually— and in a way that didn't make you totally hate him. He had a plan. Okay, maybe a skeletal plan. Or no plan. Yeah, Caliban was going to wing it. 
After today. He just had to make it through your reenactment of Romeo and Juliet with no demonic catastrophes or maiming Blly, and then he would tell you everything.
But even that was too much to ask.
Sabrina burst through the english classroom doors, yelling in barely concealed panic that there was a BIG problem and the principal needed Caliban now.
Caliban moved to leave with an apologetic smile in your direction, which you were absolutely not having. Despite your current frustration with Sabrina, she looked downright terrified, and you were both concerned for your cousin and overwhelmed with a gut feeling that something was up.
After a few moments, you excused yourself to use the restroom.
You hauled ass to the gym, where the screaming sounded to be coming from. When you entered, you were met with the strangest sight.
The gym was filled with winged... rats? And at the center of the chaos was Sabrina and Caliban, back to back and armed with what appeared to be lacrosse sticks. Caliban’s shirt was tattered from the rats, and you took a fraction of a second to banish the completely innappropriate and untimely thoughts from your head.
“And no one thought to call me?” You shouted angrily through the swarm, snagging a baseball bat from the rack and smacking it around with reckless abandon. Caliban hooted, laughing loudly as you took your place beside them. Rats tore at your clothes, but you were more frustrated that Sabrina had called your boyfriend (or whatever he was) over you.
“Why did you get Caliban! I was right there! Is there something wrong with you? Were you dropped on the head as a child? He’s not even from here Sabrina, he has no idea what-”
“For hell’s sake, he’s not the new kid! He’s not even from Australia! He’s a stupid clay prince from hell who is trying to take my throne and raze humanity, and his stupid plague king sent these after me, and now he’s dating you!” Sabrina spat out the word dating as if it was even more disgusting than the winged vermin tearing at your clothes. 
“Will someone please explain what the hell is going on here?” 
You were no less frustrated when Sabrina revealed her trek to hell and the all ensuing madness she’d partaken in, but you remained calm enough to not turn the bat on her clearly empty skull. 
“And you’re the clay prince of hell... challenging her throne?” You questioned with a sharp glance at Caliban, who nodded reluctantly as he swatted a rat hurtling towards you. 
“Do you even have a driver’s license!” You screamed, waving your baseball bat around wildly.
“I’m a demon prince of hell made out of clay, and you’re worried about if I can legally drive?” Caliban shouted back in astonishment through the wave of shrieking rats. The lacrosse stick he’d snagged was surprisingly effective.
“I was getting to that part, thank you for reminding me!” You hissed, debating whether to smash his face in with the bat. “How about we start with how you completely lied to me, and how our whole relationship or whatever it is a lie! Were you ever going to tell me? Or was this all part of some throne grab?” 
“It wasn’t a lie!” Caliban demanded hotly. “You were not a lie!”
“Really!” You whirled on him, eyes alight with anger. “Because I sure feel like one!”
The rats numbers were dwindling rapidly, and you smacked the last one heading towards you directly at Caliban’s face. It collided with a satisfying shriek, and you threw your bat down as you stormed out of the gym.
Sabrina and Caliban rushed after you, but you’d disappeared in the hall.
now i'm, yeah, oh!
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
now i'm hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again, (oh)
love bug again
You’d remained collected until you’d transported into the middle of the living room, collapsing into auntie Hilda’s arms in a puddle of tears as you told her everything. She’d muttered a stream of ancient curses about Sabrina, but beyond that merely smoothed your hair and told you that all boys were awful— especially demonic princes of hell.
“I hate him.” You glared half-heartedly into your cup of steaming peppermint tea. You couldn’t believe you’d been so stupid. Falling blindly in love with a stranger who had only sought you out for some elaborate game with Sabrina. Screw Caliban and his perfect hair, his perfect smile, his perfect— “I want to bash his face in.”
“No you don't, love.” Hilda smiled knowingly. “You’re angry, yes— and hurt. But you care for the boy. I’ve never seen you so happy as you’ve been these last few days. I think you ought to cool down and hear what he has to say.”
“I never want to talk to him again.” You groaned, burying your face in a pillow. “I’d rather die.”
And because the universe was truly conspiring against you, a knock sounded at the door.
“Well, best get over that quick.” Hilda warned, ignoring your stream of indignant protests as she hustled to the door. 
“Caliban! Yes, do come in love. Oh, yes, we will be having a little chat later, but for now I think it’s my niece you must be speaking to.” Hilda’s cheerful voice trailed in from the foyer, and you jumped up to make a break for it. 
You were halted by a familiar pair of strong arms tugging you back by the waist.
“Get off of me!” You shouted, pushing Caliban away harshly and ignoring the warmth that lingered where he’d touched you. “I want my baseball bat. Somebody get me my baseball bat! I’m going to bash your stupid pretty face in you asshole—”
“Five minutes.” Caliban pleaded desperately, “just give me a five minutes to explain, and then I’ll give you back the baseball bat to bash my face in, okay?”
You considered his offer for a moment, swallowing the sob crawling its way up your throat as you nodded reluctantly. If it made him leave faster, you’d do anything. 
His shoulder sagged in barely concealed relief. “Okay. I am Caliban, Prince of Hell. I am not from Australia, clearly, and am not a transfer student. I am trying to take your cousin’s throne. She does not understand the realm of the damned— she thinks it needs to be generous, rather than a fair judgment of life. I am not her father, and I do not believe in reckless or cruel damnation. I do not wish any harm on Sabrina, and I’ve managed to keep the worst of the plague kings from her. Even if you were to reject me now, I would continue to try to protect her— you have my word.” Caliban paused as you released a breath you did not know you were holding. Your eyes finally dared to meet his, and you nodded for him to continue.
“I agreed to attend Greendale because yes, it did piss off Sabrina, but you were there.” He raised his hand to halt your protest. “You intrigued me, and I wanted to know you better. I will be fully honest that it had the added bonus of irritating your cousin, who I so delight in irritating, but my primary focus was you. You... enchanted me. I had never found myself so invested in anything before as I was in spending mundane days at high school— of all things— with you. Truthfully, it confused even me at first. And while the past you knew is false, I am real— and my feelings for you are true.”
“That is such bullshit, and you know it!” You exploded furiously, smacking his chest with untamed rage. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Who agrees to go to high school because they like a girl? Are you unhinged? Who doesn't just ask someone out if they were so interested, huh? No, you came here with your stupidly perfect little ‘oh I’m Caliban, and I’m so dreamy’ act, knowing full well that it would make me completely abandon all rationality. Well guess what, I did! I fell stupid head over heels for you, and it was all one big lie.”
Your voice broke on the last few words, anger shifting to broken sadness as you continued to pound relentlessly on his chest. “I was a lie.”
He caught your hands, holding them against his chest as he pressed you against the wall. “You weren't a lie, Spellman.” 
His words were breathless whisper, his beautiful eyes pained and desperate as he gripped your hands harder. “I fell for you the moment I saw you. I enrolled in high school because you smiled at me. I learned every line of Romeo and Juliet to recite them to you. When we first met, you wondered how Romeo and Juliet could possibly fall in love after a mere few days, but I understand it now. I have never been driven so completely insane by anything or anyone like this before. The power you have over me is unmatched. I am completely and wholly yours. If you were to ask me right now to leave, to never bother you again, I would leave my heart with you and spend my eternity in endless sorrow. I would think forever of the way you smiled at me, the way you kissed me, how soft your hair felt in my hands, and how my heart raced every time you laughed. I would never forgive myself for the pain I had caused you, and you would haunt me every day, every waking moment, every dream.”
Caliban moved your hands to his lips, nearly kissing them as he pleaded to you with tears in his beautiful eyes. You were motionless, turned to stone by his heavy gaze.
“So please, don’t become my specter. If I am a stranger to you now, let me make you fall for me all over again. I would do it a thousand times, if you'd let me. I could think of no sweeter way to spend my eternity.”
When you’d thought that Shakespeare had been imagining Caliban when he wrote, you’d been wrong. There was no poetry, no book, no lyric that could possibly compare to the way he spoke to you— the way his eyes so desperately tried to convey his anguish.
You removed your hands from his, and his whole face seemed to shatter.
“You’re not a stranger,” you muttered softly, moving to take his face your hands. His face remained guarded, but he leaned instinctively into your touch. “You’re Caliban.”
When you kissed him, it was like falling in love all over again.
And you supposed you did.
“But we are having a long, long talk about everything.” You warned as you pulled back, poking his chest sharply as he nodded profusely. “And if you ever, ever lie to me again, I’ll set something worse than flying rats on you. I’ll let Sabrina have you.”
Caliban laughed wildly, picking you up and spinning you around as he kissed you over and over again in sheer relief and joy. “I love you, Spellman. Anything you want, it’s yours.”
“I just want you, clay boy.”
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Omg thank you so much for your posts about rinharu!! :"")) I was one of those people who were like "why are rinharu fighting again?? Did kyoani purposely seperate them /again/ just for the sake of drama ?? (And so that they have more oppurtunities to showcase other ships??)" I was really irked at first cuz i thought the first part of TFS is finally going to be a movie about rinharu being a powercouple, but! After reading your posts i realised that haru never really moved on from rin leaving, even in S3 the reason why hiyori's words affected him was because he thought he caused rin to leave (and by extension ikuya, but lbr haru wasn't as frustrated with ikuya nearly as much as he was with rin right) so i'm just here to say.. thank you so much for opening my eyes!!! Now i'm really looking forward to the second part!!
Awww no problem <3 tbh I've always said that free is one of those that has so many nuances left bts that it's sometimes confusing for those who aren't as invested I think. Like there's so many important things that are left out and are in additional materials, that some has no idea what's going on at times. Like back in the days when some interpreted s2 in the opposite way bc of that one thing. My point is that not everyone is even watches stuff like recaps for example (where there are in fact new easter eggs and so many important things like Rin's dad death aftermath etc), and even less read novels and checked side stories and dramas.
For example, in books this Haru's issue about him thinking he's cursed and hurts everyone with his swimming is a huge thing, when Asahi "lost his ability to swim" after seeing Haru's free. But in SD it wasn't adressed at all tbh.
And what Haru feels for Rin is such tornado of emotions, that surprised even me with all the descriptions, bc like it's real bad. Like that part I posted from the chapter when Rin leaves is at least understandable, since he leaves. But the way he reacts to him in general even when he just appears in his sight is always described as if someone tortures him for real lol. And he's always like "pls someone save me, I don't know how to deal with this, bc I've never felt such emotions before".
So basically, like yeah, he's as it is has this thing, when he thinks of himself as some bad omen, so he's very sensitive about it, but since everything Rin-related feels x100000000 for him, its just... well, it hurt for a very long time and sadly was just overlooked by a certain someone, so here we are.
I think we all at first believed that bc Rin's so shocked and in disbelief that Haru could even think that it was his fault in some way:
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that maybe they talked about it bts or smth like after the relay. But it seems like Rin either forgot or most likely I think he maybe thought that Haru understood without words? I'm just real sad still that Haru didn't get to hear this speech:
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I mean, they made it look by the end of s1 that it was about relay, which partially yeah, but for Rin it was really about Haru. You see what he said.. he said that that 1x02 race with Haru alone.. what made him want to swim again. This whole speech was not only about the fact that Haru wasn't at fault that he quit swimming in the first place, but about the fact that Haru is his lucky charm, that makes everything better. AND WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HEAR THAT. So like for Haru it's to this day like "after I messed him up, Rin was saved with the power of friendship and a relay". But he was saved by Haru really. Bc according to s3 info, it was basically just about Haru being on the relay team. I don't try to demean their friendships or anything, but its just what it is.
And as I've said before in one post it's just fascinating that to this day Rin for example thinks that s1 shananigans were just about him and just his problem:
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Haru thought it was about them and their problem:
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So like my point here is I also up to the end of s2 thought that maybe Rei or Rin told that to him, bc we seemed to move on to another problems, until in Kizuna we were shown that he still dreams about that scene of Rin leaving. s3 Hiyori just exposed the wound really.
But also once again see what he said there, it's not just about that one time he keeps reliving, aka his first come back, its really just about each time Rin was leaving. Like the very first one already was bad, the second was the worst, bc he thought he hurt him and thought that bc of him he quit swimming, others are just painful bc by then it was already another kind of feeling. I mean, I do think that this first Rin's return to Australia thing needs to be cleared up since it's obviously still haunting him. But again it's just part of this. Haru after the Australian trip and "I've always admired you" and "without you I have nothing to aim for" and after TYM goodbye when Rin told him that he doesn't need a surprise party and that just swimming with Haru before leaving is the greastest surprise for him, he knows already about the way Rin feels about swimming with him... I think the reason why everyone is freaking out here is that bc the way it's executed it's just really about him constantly missing him and "why am I always have to longingly watch you leave, while you seem fine." If he was in a free race, but wasn't on a relay team, he'd get the same reaction. Its just all seasons combined that brought us here. We already in 3x01 without Hiyori knew that he wasn't handling Rin being far away again good. So tbh it's logical even without any explanation really. I mean, Rin does indeed leave and come back as he pleases and does what he wants without holding back or sometimes thinking about consequences. There's no lie here.
It's like since the beginning for Rin it was like "I found the gorgeous guy I adore and I want to swim with, I'll transfer schools just to nag him into swimming with me, it's not like he's gonna care if I leave after that." (he literally in the book didn't think it was a big deal)
For Haru it was like "I lived just fine, but this guy stormed into my life, made me want things I didn't think I'd ever want, got me addicted to him and then dropped me like a hot potato".
Rin's just very passionate about life and things he wants, like Haru for example, but he's really also very unobservant and very clueless at times.
But like just bc he doesn't know about Haru's existential crisis and all the pain he's truly in when he's leaving, doesn't change the fact that he at times didn't even treat him as a simple friend (because they can't be just friends I KNOW), but still things like "you could've called" "well sorry, I guess I'm just not good at it" are probably hurtful, considering the fact that you are good at it with everyone else tho, Rin sweetie. Like thanks for avoiding us the most and holding back and visiting us the last each time, we feel real special. Haru is like the opposite, he doesn't call anyone for example, but he can call Rin in the middle of the night if needed, he always does for Rin smth that's completely out of his comfort zone.
It's like some say "Rin didn't know he wanted him to call" or "he didn't know Haru felt guilty". He did know he wanted him to call and he didn't know Haru felt guilty and stopped swimming competitively when he stopped swimming, but then Rei told him and Natsuya in 3x03 reminded him about this too. Its just the fact that he doesn't want to add 1+1 and thinks "well, there's no way I can affect Haru like that right?", "he can't be that upset about Rin Matsuoka, right?". While facts are he IS literally the only one who affects Haru in such huge way. It's like everyone else can just pass him by and it's nothing, but he walks by and it's a whole "asdfghgfdsa why my body is on fire, its just Rin who's just standing there".
And I'm also buffled by this thing that some people really say stuff like "where did this come from, they were perfectly fine" etc, as if they ever had normal "friendship" relationship. I'm like when did they ever behave themselves okay? In 3x03 Rin is dying to call Haru, but can't do it, while he's constantly texting everyone including Nagisa. First thing he says in the airport when he comes back is "I'm home, Haru" to air, but then goes to hang out with Makoto and Sousuke, desperately looking for an excuse to see the one whom he from the beginning, as it was shown wanted to see the most, but in his opinion can’t without a reason. It's only when Makoto tells him that Haru was upset about Albert he quickly rans off out of there bc "hooray, I have an excuse to see my bae”. Like we know from the airport scene that he wanted to see Haru the most. If they're so as people say were doing great, than how do you exlain all of their s2 and s3 behavior for real? It's like as if in TYM Haru didn't lose his shit from some gossip about persimmons. I mean, they never settled anything really. And Haru is constantly scared of Rin leaving again since forever.
So it's complicated, but yes, we're super excited for p2, bc asdfghjhgfds.
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wolf-and-bard · 3 years
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The Geraskier (and Lambden) H2O: Just Add Water AU of my dreams (bc Mermay is almost over and I haven’t done a thing for it and putting Geraskier into my favourite teenage shows is too much fun; this got long and messy):
-Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert grew up on the coast of Australia on an estate that is very big and private with its own sectioned-off part of the beach; among all their surfer kid school friends they are definitely the outcasts; they keep to themselves a lot and everyone thinks it’s because of their overprotective father who keeps them from throwing the best parties and also doesn't want them to go out into the ocean or have swimming lessons
-Vesemir is overprotective, but not for the reason everyone thinks; whenever he and/or his boys come into contact with water, they turn into mer-boys, complete with shimmering golden tails; he hoped this genetic oddity would pass them by, but it didn’t and so he taught them to be very careful for fear of them getting hurt
-they all cope with this in different manners: Geralt and Eskel mostly use their ability to do good; they protect little turtles from falling prey to predators, they collect trash from the bottom of the ocean; they also wrestle in the water a lot; Lambert tries to forget this is a thing and stays as far away form any body of water as he can; he spends most of his time secluded in his room, listening to edgy grunge music; sometimes his brothers can lure him out for a round of waterball in their private pool
-Jaskier is one of the popular kids one grade below Geralt (together with Lambert). He always gets the lead role in theatre, he has dozens of friends and a cool band and his outfits are outrageously fashionable; he vlogs a lot, he vlogs so much that anyone who has half a mind to get invested in his life will know everything from his morning routine to the night cream he uses; his favourite cafeteria lunch, the name of his teddy bear and his least favourite cousin
-Jaskier is also determined to befriend Geralt and his bros; he grew up in the same street as them and ever since he discovered Instagram, he’s been dying to take some shots in that house; he’s been over once, when Vesemir made the mistake of inviting a few kids Lambert’s age to his birthday party which ended up in a cake-throwing disaster; little Jaskier thought it was a great idea to tow the garden hose in and clean everything which ruined Vesemir’s favourite rug and had Geralt turn into a mer-boy on the spot; needless to say, Jaskier attributes this memory to a fever dream
-So, Jaskier starts following Geralt and Eskel around (he knows he’ll have no luck with Lambert) and they brush him off every opportunity they get
-What Jaskier doesn’t realize is that Geralt is hardcore in love with him, like so much so that his poor teenage mind cannot stop producing hormones on overload; he spends a lot of time out in the depths to distract himself from this
-What Jaskier also doesn’t realize is that he is falling for Geralt; it’s only for the sake of the 'gram, he tells himself, and because his followers seem to love the chunky mysterious senior with his strangely white hair
-Jaskier’s followers figure it out, the whole school figures it out, Lambert and Eskel figure it out (Geralt lets the guy sit at their lunch table, of course they’re in love) and eventually, even Geralt figures it out. Only Jaskier doesn’t and Geralt has a big-ass secret to keep anyway
-and so, to get rid of his pent-up frustration, he dives deeper and deeper; Eskel starts to worry, Vesemir says it’s just a phase, Lambert plainly doesn’t care
-Speaking of: Aiden is the snarky rich kid / bully that spends way too much time obsessing over uncovering their secret (bc he thinks he’s smart and always thought something about Vesemir was weird and he doesn’t like how they make such a fuss over their privacy). when he invities the three to one of his pool parties, he tries everything to make them reveal what they have going on, but Geralt doesn’t even show and Eskel keeps disappearing to play with Aiden’s dog and so Aiden is stuck with Lambert whom he definitely has a crush on, but won’t ever admit it. they’re enemies, okay? there’s a lot of tension and they end up drunkenly making out behind garden shed, something they both regret in the morning; Lambert doesn’t leave his room for a week straight and feigns a flu so he doesn’t have to meet Aiden at school; Aiden and Jaskier are friends ofc
-one day at school Geralt and Jaskier hang out on the lunch break alone because Eskel’s on a zoo trip with his class and Lambert is avoiding Aiden so he spends all his time holed up beneath the seats of the football field writing angry poems; Jaskier’s forgotten to charge his camera battery so it’s just them, stealing fries off each other’s plates, actually talking for once and Geralt’s sweating because Jaskier sits so close their knees bump and he looks ridiculously cute in his pastel dungarees and there’s this spot of ketchup on his nose that Geralt’s just itching to reach out and wipe away
-Jaskier isn’t all that hungry and he watches Geralt devour a third slice of pizza when he remembers his stupid childhood fever dream; he tells Geralt all about it, the cake fight, the ensuing mess and how he distinctly remembers Geralt growing a fish-tail and flopping around on the living room floor while Vesemir was screaming at them all to get out. “Funny, isn’t it? What your brain can make up?”; Geralt turns chalk-white and splutters a fake laugh
-he isn’t at school the next day and neither are Eskel or Lambert
-nor the next
-they are all a bit afraid, cautious and they just need to spend a few days, just the four of them, throwing themselves into the waves and being free of the shackles of their secrets; they chase each other around, they play some water ball and Vesemir makes them hot cocoa and rubs them dry the way he used to when they were younger and still unable to handle their transformation well
-as he does this, Vesemir thinks about moving somewhere more secure where there are less people, but he can’t take the boys’ life away; Geralt is clearly happy with Jaskier, Lambert’s coming around to opening up to someone, even if that someone is a giant asshole, and Eskel’s too easily unsettled to move elsewhere
-by the third day the boys don’t appear at school - and answer none of his texts - Jaskier gets unsettled; his followers urge him to just go and visit Geralt (they also finally enlighten Jaskier about his own feelings) and Jaskier does. thankfully, his camera is still uncharged and he forgot his phone at home or he would have filmed what he saw as he climbed their garden fence very ungracefully (no one opened the door)
-Geralt went too far out, too deep and got caught in the undertow of some massive waves, then was pulled under and cut himself on some rocks; Jaskier just about catches Eskel and Lambert dragging their brother ashore, his tail flopping helplessly; there’s blood washing away in the waves; Geralt’s eyes are closed and Jaskier understands with rare clarity that somehow this is his fault
-he hurtles towards Geralt, kicking up mud, so afraid that Geralt is going to die and as he does so he calls for Geralt, ignores Lambert’s curses and Eskel’s glower. They gently lower Geralt to the sand where the other two are out of reach of the hungry waves and Lambert runs for Vesemir, Eskel crouches down by Geralt’s tail, inspecting his wounds; meanwhile Jaskier is completely unfazed by the mer-boy thing, he simply drags Geralt’s head onto his lap and strokes his hair, apologizing over and over
-once Geralt is transformed back into human form, his wounds are patched up and Vesemir has given him a thorough lecture, he and Jaskier cuddle on the back porch couch and Jaskier keeps altering between laughing and crying; it’s ridiculous, Geralt is a mer-boy, but also he looked so fragile being hauled out of the water and Jaskier just loves him so fucking much
-and Geralt loves him back. and that’s how a spot of angst orchestrates their happily ever after
-meanwhile Aiden finds out when he has Lambert over for some making out one day and thinks it’s a funny idea to deposit his not-boyfriend in the pool mid-kiss; Lambert just floats in the pool, arms crossed, tail beating, waiting for Aiden to call the cops on him, but Aiden is super turned on and jumps in the pool with him and there’s more making out
THE END
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nevermindirah · 3 years
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Non-Jewish friends, y’all might be wondering right now: Israel is doing clearly unacceptable shit to Palestinians. So, why are some Jews ardent Zionists, and why do some Jews seem to feel personally attacked by criticism of Israel?
A lot of (non-Palestinian) non-Jews have asked me where I stand on Israel/Palestine over the years, apropos of nothing, just because I’m Jewish. For the longest time I felt so stuck because I just didn’t know much about Israel/Palestine and what little I did know turned out to be largely misinformation and I felt so much pressure to say The Correct Thing That All Jews Should Say About This Issue. Obviously the violence Israel is committing against Palestinians is horrific and the interpersonal weirdness individual Jews might experience as people discuss Israel’s horrific violence doesn’t compare. I’m making this post as a small supplement to the important conversations going on about what Israel is doing to Palestinians in East Jerusalem, Gaza, and the West Bank, as well as Palestinian citizens of Israel and Palestinian refugees and their descendants living outside land Israel controls. I’m making this post because non-Jews might be feeling confused by conflicting messages about Zionism as either settler colonialism or Jewish self-determination. It sucks feeling like you have to choose only one oppressed group or another. It’s possible to support Palestinian liberation and Jewish liberation at the same time! Here’s some context that might help.
Palestinian friends will probably want to ignore this post, y’all shouldn’t have to deal with your oppressors’ feelings, and especially not right now.
Zionism is the ideology behind the devastating violence Israel is committing against Palestinians right now and has been committing against Palestinians since 1947-48. It’s heartbreaking and messy to talk about this reality, because Zionism originated as a strategy to protect Jews from antisemitism.
Any oppressed group can turn into oppressors under enough pressure, because humans are flawed. Jews fleeing antisemitism turning into Israelis ethnically cleansing Palestinians happened because Zionism is profoundly influenced by its time and place of origin: 19th century Europe.
Europe invented antisemitism, and basically every European country has done at least one very very bad structural antisemitism, like expelling all the country's Jews (the monarch and/or the church then stole all the wealth the expelled people had to leave behind), looking the other way when peasants murdered a bunch of Jews as an outlet for their frustration with the actual (non-Jewish) ruling class, banning Jews from owning property or holding certain jobs or being members of guilds etc, and of course the big horrific state-sponsored mass-murder operations the Inquisition and the Holocaust. From the 1790s through the 19th century different European governments emancipated their Jews, ie removed legal barriers to full citizenship and economic participation. But this didn't end antisemitism. Just like the legal improvements of the 19th and 20th centuries didn't end antiblackness in the United States.
Also happening in this time: nationalism swept Europe. From the French Revolution through the end of World War I, Europe’s predominant form of government transformed from multiethnic empires to nation-states, countries led by and for a particular ethnic group.
So this Austro-Hungarian dude Theodor Herzl came up with this idea for Jewish nationalism. Every other European ethnic group is getting their own country, so why not Jews? Maybe this is the solution to antisemitism! Maybe we’ll finally be safe if we just all move en masse out of Europe to a place that will take all of us and never expel us!
But also also happening in Europe and around the world in this time: European imperialism and white supremacist settler colonialism. Chattel slavery saw its height and then its end (legally, at least) during this era, but white supremacy entrenched itself across the planet in post-slavery economic practices and cultural imperialism as well as national and international laws.
I believe countries have a moral obligation to take in as many refugees as they can squeeze in. International law protecting refugees has evolved a lot over the past century, but we’re still devastatingly far from every refugee getting a safe place to call home, and the main reason for that is white supremacy. The Biden administration didn’t undo the Trump administration’s horrifically low cap on refugees until like last week and it’s because Democratic party leaders treat centrist white people as more valuable voters than the huge and growing numbers of people of color, immigrants, LGBT people, unmarried women, and working class people who want to vote for elected leaders who get that nobody’s free until we’re all free. Ahem. Back to the topic at hand, the US and many other countries turned away untold numbers of refugees fleeing the fucking Holocaust, so odds are slim they’d be more welcoming in less desperate times. Moving from places where Jews are an unwanted minority to places where Jews are still a minority and either still unwanted or little understood and unlikely to win revolutionary levels of support from a largely non-Jewish public seems like a bad plan.
In the mid to late 19th century, lots of Jews took the kernel of Zionism and ran with it in different directions. Maybe this ideology could mean Jewish cultural flourishing alongside stronger political/economic integration into the societies where we’re already living! Maybe it could mean a particular kind of socialism that advocates for the liberation of Jews both as Jews and as workers! Maybe it could mean a revitalization of Jewish religious practice both in Jerusalem where we have important heritage sites and everywhere we live across the world!
Eventually Herzl’s vision of Zionism won out over the others: Jewish nationalism in the sense of a Jewish nation-state, a country that has a Jewish demographic majority and/or that legally privileges Jews over non-Jews.
Problem is, if you want to do that, you have to find a piece of land on which to do it, and Earth was already a pretty crowded place a hundred years ago. Many locations were considered, and the one that ended up winning that debate was Palestine. Where a shit ton of people, mostly non-Jews, were already living. They were forming their own nationalist movement at the time: in the waning days of the Ottoman Empire they began to organize for local self-determination in Palestine.
The Herzl types who developed Zionism as an ideology and built institutions to advocate for and create a Jewish ethnostate in Palestine were a small subset of European Jews, mostly men, mostly with significant economic privilege within what Jews were able to achieve in their particular societies at the time. They were just as Orientalist as the non-Jews around them, just as antiblack, just as racist generally for all that Jews were (and sometimes still are) considered non-white in much of Europe. They had a cool idea (put a lot of effort into something that could protect Jews from antisemitism) floating in a bathtub full of shit, and they did practically nothing to protect the cool idea from absorbing that shit. Results of this include thinking about the millions of people already living in Palestine as if they were either like the rocks and the trees that will go with the flow and accept a new ruling class, or indistinct Arabs who would just leave for other Arab countries because what could be the difference — in the staggeringly small amount of time they considered the existing residents of Palestine at all.
This racist hand-waving extended to Zionist leaders’ attitudes about Jews outside Europe as well. White Jews in settler colonies like the US were largely anti-Zionist at the time (not wanting their own countries to accuse them of dual loyalty was a common reason) but European Zionist leaders took what help they could get from Jews in the US, South Africa, Australia, etc. Jews across the Middle East and North Africa, however, barely heard from Zionist leaders about any of this until Zionist militias had removed enough Palestinians from the land and it was time to repopulate it with whichever Jewish bodies were convenient. You might have heard "all the Arab countries expelled their Jews in 1948" but lots of first-person accounts tell a different story of Israel coercing Jews who’d lived securely for a long time in places like Morocco to immigrate to Israel and then confiscating their passports and forcing them to live on less-fertile land with fewer resources while serving as a buffer between Palestinians and European Jewish immigrants. Ella Shohat is the best-known writer on Israeli racism against non-European Jews and I strongly recommend Sephardim in Israel: Zionism from the Perspective of Its Jewish Victims as a starting point to learn more about this.
Which brings us to today. We still haven’t eradicated antisemitism, several European governments that did a lot of structural antisemitism they still haven’t made meaningful reparations for get to feel good about themselves for “giving the Jews a state” as if carving up the former Ottoman Empire was up to them and not the people who lived there, and millions of people across the world who previously either lived peacefully enough alongside Jews or hadn’t really thought about us much at all now have very valid reasons to be pissed at this country that claims it represents all of us.
Zionism was supposed to protect Jews from antisemitism. And Israel has saved Jewish lives! But if we hadn’t sunk the past 70+ years into an ethnostate we could’ve been putting that energy into other political and economic activity to create adequate international support for refugees while we work on ending root causes of refugee crises, like antisemitism, racism, climate change, and capitalism. Meanwhile Zionism has killed, maimed, incarcerated, stolen from, traumatized, and erased the history of millions of Palestinians just because they happened to be living on land that some dudes who had a lot more in common with Thomas Jefferson and Donald Trump than with you or me decided needed to be cleansed for a Jewish ethnostate.
White nationalists in the US love Israel because they want American Jews to go away. Fascist leaders across Europe love Israel for the same reason, so much so that Israel’s prime minister is buddy-buddy with Trump and the equivalent shitstains of several European far-right parties. And I don’t know what it’s like in other white supremacist countries that are close allies of Israel, but the overwhelming majority of Zionist lobbying that pushes the US to give so much aid to Israel comes from Evangelical Christians, because they believe all the Jews have to be in the Holy Land for Jesus to come back. No thanks.
This whole thing fucking sucks. Jews and Palestinians, like all human beings, deserve to be free. Many Jews are understandably afraid of what might happen next if Israel decided to give up on ethnonationalism, allow Palestinian refugees to return, make reparations, and establish a pluralistic democracy that represents and protects all its residents — will some Palestinians murder Jews in revenge? That’s genuinely fucking scary. And it’s genuinely fucking scary to be a Palestinian in Israel/Palestine, and has been for over 70 years. We’ve gotta do something different. I say that as a white person sitting on land stolen from Piscataway people who has thought in detail about what portion of my income would be reasonable for my government to tax in order to fund reparations for the descendants of enslaved people.
Ok. One final piece of context before I wrap this up.
Most Jewish institutions in the US are explicitly Zionist, teach children that Zionism is THE way to ensure Jewish safety, and increasingly tell non-Zionist Jews that we're unwelcome or even that we’re not “real” Jews. This comes in a context where it’s only been 76 years since the latest and most gruesome of several attempts to wipe our entire people off the face of the planet. If you grew up in that environment, you, too, might be jumpy about even hearing the words Zionism or Israel, let alone considering the devastation this ideology and country have caused Palestinians.
Jews have a right to exist. Jews have a millennia-old connection to this scrap of land in the Levant, and we have a right to access religiously and culturally important geographic landmarks. What we don't have a right to is murdering or expelling other people in order to make an ethnostate, on that land or any other. Zionism is settler colonialism, but it’s settler colonialism by and for people who have a valid need for protection from structural antisemitism, which means that it’s going to take a lot of messy empathy to undo. The members of my extended family who voted for Trump (non-Jews in my case, though Jared Kushner isn’t the only Jewish Trumpite) are afraid that ending white supremacy will demote them from a privileged class to equal footing with everyone else — that’s the kind of fear individuals work on in therapy, not the kind that’s reasonable for a whole society to prevent from happening. I and millions of Jews do deserve for whole societies to work hard to end antisemitism.
I would never and will never ask a Palestinian to gently request their liberation. But if you’re not Palestinian, and you’ve got a little extra empathy to spare this week, I ask you to remember what I’ve shared here when interacting with Jews about Israel/Palestine.
If you’re a fellow Jew reading this and you feel like Israel is the only way to guarantee our safety, all I ask of you is to sit with the idea that what Israel is doing to Palestinians is too high a cost for safety that’s still not guaranteed, and start to imagine real-world ways we can protect our people from antisemitism without an ethnostate.
I made this post for people who know me (or know of me I guess?) in Old Guard and Cap fandom, despite my better judgment, because talking about Jewish Booker and Jewish Bucky and Jewish Natasha makes me so happy and I think some of the people I love on these characters with might appreciate this perspective. I didn’t provide any links in this post on purpose (to decrease its usefulness, so fewer people will reblog it) because the risk of anon hate when talking about Zionism outside my immediate fandom circles is so high. You’re welcome to reblog this post if you find it helpful! Unless you’re not within a few concentric circles of me, in which case, maybe don’t? If seeing this post makes you want to send me anon hate, no need: many people who share your perspective have already done so on Twitter.
Reliable sources on all this info are a few googles away, and I apologize for the things I know I oversimplified as well as any things I might have misremembered. I’m an American who’s never lived in Israel/Palestine who is posting this on my fandom blog.
TL;DR: This is a short ‘n pithy post about the same idea.
TL;DR, fandom edition: The shortest distillation of this anti-Zionist Jew’s feelings on the matter can be found in segment 4 of Five Times Booker Got Wasted on Purim and One Time He Didn’t.
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junicai · 3 years
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Relationship with WAYV
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➣ KUN ☾ karia
if it wasn’t for dotae potentially coming to kill him, he would steal aria into wayv
he’s the cool dad? 
they can’t spend a lot of time together because none of their schedules match up, but aria takes every third or so weekend out to come have dinner in the wayv dorms
she’s surprisingly close to the china line, and its a combination of ten dragging her to his dorm for an entire month and them just kinda adopting her when they realized she was a foreigner as well 
yuta can fight them, she’s one of them now
he doesn’t like to baby her a lot, and she really appreciates the break from being the “maknae” so to speak 
however does that stop him from giving her the forehead kithes? no
aria sad? forehead kith
aria mad? forehead kith
aria smad? forehead kith + kuddles (kun cuddles)
he has sent her a passive agressive text when he found out that she wasn’t eating enough again and had almost passed out
but he finished it with a heart so its ok
if she isn’t smiling at all times, someone will die
aria feels like she can trust him with a lot; that no matter what she tells him, he’ll never out her or make fun of her
kun actually took a two-week online course to learn how to make traditional japanese dishes when aria mentioned missing her parents
he originally was going to learn how to make irish dishes, but he changed his mind after seeing what they were
“im not giving my kids boiled cabbage and mashed potatoes what kind of post world war-”
wants to give her a chinese name but hasn’t yet because he hasn’t found the one that fits her right and he wants it to be perfect 
aria teaches him japanese phrases in exchange for him teaching her a little bit of mandarin
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
aria saw kun’s back as she entered the practice room, the man standing with three other members in the centre of the floor before the choreographer came in to start their practice. coming up behind him, she wrapped her arms around his waist, peeking her head around from where she was. “hi!” she smiled brightly.
“hi,” ten chuckled, showing her the camera that had just filmed all of that. 
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➣ TEN ☾ tenaria
Whipped(TM)
so so gone for her its upsetting actually
yangyang and aria share the position of his baby 
except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop
ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria
he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby  ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right...(눈_눈)”
such an enabler for her bad ideas 
aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream
pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day
when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket 
its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost 
he just wants to hold her hand
yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault
ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby 
“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ノಥ益ಥ)ノ”
if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor 
hugs n kithes all around
only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing 
anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby 
sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls 
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 
the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her. 
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➣ WINWIN ☾ winria
a love hate relationship at its finest
they don’t actually hate each other it’s just really funny to pretend that they do (especially because yuta complains that 2 of his favourite people aren’t getting along)
winwin is so savage towards aria but it’s ok she claps back twice as hard
at first, before czennies had seen enough of their dynamic they thought that they actually did hate each other
but that’s not true they just don’t know how to express, affection, without brutally insulting the other with a loving tone
they are, surprisingly, the most stable pairing in 127 - they have a dynamic and rarely stray from that, which is a good comfort for the fans
despite what they might say to each other, they don’t mean any of it - and winwin has been seen several times raising his eyebrows with a questioning look at aria to make sure she wasn’t taking any of his playful jabs to heart
oh god the flexibility
the entirety of nct is terrified of them
the day sm gives them a circus act is the day that kun and taeyong have a heart attack
quietly supportive of each other - catch aria “playing” with a water bottle and not getting up to get it when it conveniently rolls across the floor and into winwin’s leg
he makes sure to save some new chinese sweets whenever the wayv members get packages from their familes, and sneak it into aria’s room before the managers can catch her breaking her diet
not really physically affectionate with each other, which played into czennies idea that they didn’t like each other but aria cleared it up in a vlive
“winwinnie and I, well. we don’t hug a lot because i know he doesn’t like it as much as i might, so i try to show him i care with other things :)”
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
winwin and aria going in to each other on knowing brothers, to the point where the mc’s had their eyes popping out of their head and waved about to stop the segment before aria could start attacking winwin’s cooking methods-
nothing is off limits when it comes to them
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➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei
besties 
please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(
bear hugs
he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up 
complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball 
someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll 
singular braincell energy
don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart 
so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it
she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour
so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day 
lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back
nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria” 
and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her 
lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys
he’s so proud of her
and she’s so proud of him 
they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together 
sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.
during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit. 
“luc-LUCAS?”
“you had to move :)”
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➣ XIAOJUN ☾ arijun
honestly these two aren’t super close, just because their schedules never matched up until the NCT 2020 promotions
even when aria was dragged to the wayv dorms, xiaojun kept his distance from her because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable 
even so, when they were filming Make A Wish together, they seemed comfortable enough around each other
there was a mutual agreement to not try fill the silence with awkward small talk, so they sat in silence when left alone together
they’re both shy :( someone needs to get them to talk to each other :(
even so, aria was all supportive smiles and thumbs-up when she saw him getting nervous before their first public stage as the unit 
he was a little intimidated of her at first, but also really curious about how she was holding her own against the other members
not only physically, but her vibes are tiny let the man be concerned ok
his first impression of aria was just: small quiet? she was sitting apart from the other boys in the practice room, and he almost wanted to go over and ask her if she was ok; before she was approached by donghyuck and her face broke into a bright smile 
aria’s first impression of xiaojun was: eyebrows he was really handsome? at first, she thought he was in the wrong room, seeing as the SM modeling auditions were happening in the next room down
any arijun shippers are starved of content im so sorry guys 
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 
currently still up for debate between the fandom :(
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➣ HENDERY ☾ aridery
ah these two 
you might as well sign a waiver if you decide to do anything with them, because they can and will get you killed 
kun can testify
ten’s the enabler but hendery is the do-er
super giggly around each other, for no reason at all
hendery could pick up and throw a basketball and suddenly aria’s on the floor in literal stitches 
have a secret code 
no seriously
they don’t text in words, they just send various reaction memes and a colourful variety of emojis to convey emotions and scenarios 
it’s become quite a beautiful language actually 
got some nice proverbs in there
they’re like, cousins but the ones you only see at family reunions but get so hype to see them
that energy 
asides from the chaotic, murderous vibes they possess as a duo
hendery knows what it’s like to miss home, to miss your parents, etc etc
and so he tries to make aria feel as home as possible - especially with wayv, because they’re all foreigners who know how she feels 
whenever he gets packages from his parents who have sent things over, he always makes sure to keep some of the small treats/sweets back for aria
1. because he knows she’ll appreciate the thought and she gives good hugs
2. because he knows she’s on a diet constantly and never allowed eat these things when she’s in the dorms with managers around 
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 
filming the Resonance “Wish” event, aria was put in a skimpy minimalistic mock-suit to differentiate from the others’ clothes. unfortunately, that left aria with a little too much shoulder and chest on display than she would like, and she was noticeably uncomfortable with her clothes, constantly pulling it up and even going so far as to just hold it with her hands. 
hendery saw this, and knew he was finished filming his segment for the time being, so he pulled off his own jacket and tossed it over to aria, who caught it with a grateful smile. “thank you,” she mouthed to him, tugging the dark blue material over her shoulders.
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➣ YANGYANG ☾ ariyang
aria. has 9 days of age on this boy and will never let him forget it
“respect your elders you brat” “9. DAYS.”
european pals 
they feel so cultured when they get asked about europe, and then are kindly reminded by hendery that A. Germany started 2 world wars, and B. Ireland was just a British colony until 100 years ago. 
they both hit him for that
aria teaching him curse words in irish and yangyang teaching her curse words in german? more likely than you’d think 
they met before yangyang’s debut was announced, in a practice room that had let them accidentally overlap their practice times 
instead of working it out between them, they actually just started to alternate their songs - and the other gave them some good, constructive criticism 
most of the time
when they found out they were going to be in 90s Love together, they were so happy 
it was going to be their first official schedule together
all the behind-the-scenes videos are just aria and yangyang being children and then ten coming over and cooing at them 
they love ten, but they will trash talk the man behind his back 
yangyang confessed to her that he sometimes feels nervous when speaking korean, like he’s going to make a big mistake
so she tries her best to teach and correct him where she can, and make him as comfortable as possible 
if you look at any of the 90s Love promotions - aria is always beside yangyang
he bit her ear once
she doesn’t know why and he won’t tell her
but now when she makes fun of him, he threatens to do it again 
FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 
aria skating onto the rink during filming, and yangyang following her because she promised to teach him how to skate backwards.
“ok just, think like you’re leading with your heels. press your knees in, and push outwards, with you-no no that’s forwards. go backwards yangyang.”
“no no no thats a WALL YANGYANG STOP-” 
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ok ok, so i'm new at requesting lol. i absolutely adore your work ( and for some reason this is the only blog posting karube content? whats up with that, the barista needs more love ) but that brings me to why i'm here. something soft with karube, maybe he finally gets that farm in australia he wanted. slow dancing by moonlight. just an idea i had, totally cool if you don't do it lol.
Yes Karube doesn’t get the love that he deserves 👏😔 Such a cute idea, I hope you like it 💕
Moonlight Dance | Daikichi Karube
{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}
Character(s): Karube
Summary: You stay at your boyfriend Karube’s farm in Australia for a holiday together, and he asks you an important question.
Warnings: a suggestive theme (but it’s only one sentence)
Word Count: 2.1k
*reader is gender-neutral
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Karube gif credit
You sat on the deck chair that was placed near the end of the porch. The dusk light of the sun covered you like a warm blanket, making you feel safe and at home. The distant sound of lorikeets cheeping in the trees together filled your ears, making you smile.
Karube had managed to buy himself a decent farm along the east coast of Australia. He had invited you to come over as soon as it was his because he was so excited to share it with you. And you couldn’t blame him, it was beautiful.
It was a far way from any sort of urban environment, so it was constantly quiet and soothing, leaving only the sound of nature to fill the air.
You were so proud that Karube was finally able to achieve his dream. Even if it was just as simple as this, you couldn’t be more happy.
You closed your eyes and relaxed in the evening sun. You wanted to enjoy the warm light just before it fell asleep behind the horizon, because night time did get quite chilly sometimes.
After a short few minutes, you felt a gentle hand on your arm, making you open your eyes. Your boyfriend Karube was sitting on the ground on a cushion next to you with a lit cigarette poking out of his mouth, giving you a loving smile. He was wearing his usual blue, faded jeans with a plain black t-shirt. “You tired love?” he asked, rubbing your arm soothingly.
You nodded. “A little bit. I might get an early night.” You sat up and reached your hands behind your back to stretch them. You sighed satisfyingly after hearing some bones pop in your back. You had only been at Karube’s farm for a few days, and you already feel more relaxed than anything.
You leant sideways and leant yourself against his broad shoulders, making him snuggle into you. The silence between you was so comfortable, making you feel at ease and at home. Karube always managed to make you feel that way no matter where you both were.
“Hey! Before you get anymore tired, can I show you something?” he suddenly asked, becoming all excited. He turned, making you sit up off him.
You nodded and chuckled at his excitement. He acted like a giant kid at times, which never failed to make you laugh.
He scrambled to his feet and ran inside through the back doors to the house. “Just wait there! I have to grab something,” he said.
You watched and laughed as he almost tripped on the carpet before regaining his balance and running again. You waited patiently while watching as the sun began disappearing over the horizon, making the sky fade to a soft orange.
You hoped things could stay this tranquil and calm forever. With Karube by your side, you didn’t need anything else.
You turned as you heard soft footsteps behind you. Karube returned having discarded his cigarette and was now holding out his hand to you. “Let’s go! We don’t want it to get too late before we get there cause we’ll get cold,” he encouraged.
You took his hand happily. “Where exactly are we going?” you asked curiously as Karube and you stepped off the porch onto the grass.
“It won’t be a surprise if I tell you,” he beamed, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “You’ll have to be patient and see for yourself.”
You huffed out an annoyed sigh. He always had such a thrill from surprising you with things, whether it be something huge like a holiday away or a small gift he bought you. He was full of surprises, so you became accustomed to his playful ways.
You both walked along the grass fields for a while, chasing each other and enjoying the time together. Karube picked up every flower he could find and kept adding it to the stash in your arms, insisting that you kept a hold of them so you could put them in a water vase when you got back to the house. You took your jacket off and used it as a makeshift bag, lugging all of the colourful flowers along as he brought them to you.
He kept relating some part of you to each one, like “This one would go well with your hair.” or “This one matches your favourite shirt.” It was so endearing watching him be so invested in such little things about life. It made you feel so lucky to have someone who enjoyed such minor yet beautiful things.
As the sun disappeared from the sky and the moon shone bright over the farm fields, Karube walked along behind you with his arms wrapped around your shoulders. He was kissing your cheek every few minutes and whispering sweet nothings into your ears.
“Are you getting cold baby?” he asked, concerned. You shook your head. “No. You’re like a human blanket,” you laughed, pulling him closer by his arms so his chest was against your back.
Karube grinned and tucked his face into your neck and left a few light kisses on your skin. “You’re so cute,” he breathed out against you and tickled your waist slightly, making you squirm in his arms.
You both trudged along the long grass for a while, going to wherever Karube was planning. He had pulled out a torch from his back pocket when it got too dark to see where you were stepping.
When you both shortly arrived at a large field that was surrounded by a metal fence, Karube brought you over to the gate and unlatched it from the fence, motioning for you to step inside. The field was completely empty, containing nothing but long blades of grass and the moonlight shimmering off it.
You stared up at the moon, mesmerized by its light and fullness. You had never seen it that bright before.
Karube walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist and tucked his chin on your shoulder. “You want to have some fun?” he whispered into your ear.
You leant back to look at him in shock. “Here? We’re in the middle of a field,” you said, taken back by his bold words.
He laughed and placed his hand on your head, messing your hair up. “That’s not what I meant, naughty,” he chuckled. “Watch this.”
You watched in wonder as Karube started running along the grass with a sudden trail of fireflies rising up out of the ground as he jogged. An excited grin painted across your face as you laughed at your boyfriend, loving seeing him happy.
“Come on!” he yelled after a while of you watching him. You lifted your legs and followed, looking behind you as fireflies sprouted from the long grass, chirping and singing while flashing their lights.
It was such a gorgeous scene. You and Karube chasing each other and tackling to the ground as little stars scattered around you, making the moment almost seem magical. It was a once in a lifetime experience.
Once you both had grown tired, you leant against a small tree that was planted in the corner of the field. You were tucked into his chest, breathing in his scent to relax you.
“Thanks so much for inviting me here babe,” you mumbled against him, earning his soft hand stroking your hair gently. “Why wouldn’t I? I love you so much, I want to share my life with you.”
His words made your heartstrings dance in your chest and your face heat up. Even after being with him for several years, he still knew how to make your heart race with simple words.
You pushed your head even closer to his chest so your cheek was squished up against the cotton material of his shirt. You could feel his heartbeat, rapidly pulsing at a mile a minute. It was almost banging against his ribcage. You frowned and leant back to look into his eyes with concern.
“Are you okay baby?” you asked worryingly. You rubbed your hand against his chest, over his heart. “You’re hearts beating very fast.”
You saw Karube look to the ground to avoid your gaze while he answered you. “It’s probably just from running around before, I’m still a bit out of breath.”
You glanced at him for a little longer before shrugging it off.
Both of you observed the grassy field in front of you in a comfortable silence. Your eyes widened as you saw the ground blossom in bright moonlight, seeing as the clouds had separated to let the moon’s shine through. You smiled and turned to Karube excited.
“Come here!” you pressed, grabbing his hand and pulling him out to the small patch of shorter grass where the moon was shining. “I want to dance.”
“Dance?” Karube repeated. “Baby, you know I can’t dance,” he laughed nervously. You shook your head at his claim and grabbed his hands to place on your waist while you wrapped yours around his neck. “I don’t care, I’m not the best dancer either.”
You slowly began swaying your bodies, spinning in slow circles while keeping your foreheads pressed together and looking into each other’s eyes lovingly. You swore every time you looked at Karube, you felt yourself fall for him more and more.
You saw in your peripheral vision some fireflies beginning to make their way out of the grass again and buzz around the two of you as you slow-danced in the moonlight. You chuckled to yourself, it must have looked like the cliché romantic Disney movie scene, but you wouldn’t have asked for anything more or less.
After a few minutes of silent swaying and feeling the cold breeze on your skin, Karube stopped his movements and pulled back from you. You looked at him confused as to why he stopped.
“Well, I guess there isn’t a better time than now,” he started, making you frown.
Karube gazed into your eyes with a big, goofy smile on his face. His breathing was a bit unleveled. He seemed very nervous.
“Uh, Y/N. I just want to say that, over the past few years I’ve known you, you’ve made me the happiest man I could have ever hoped to have been. You’ve made me a better person in myself, and also have taught me really valuable lessons through our relationship,” he stated, fiddling with the material of your clothes. You smiled at him, a smile spreading across your features as he continued. “I want to thank you for always being there for me, through both the good times and the bad times. I honestly don’t know where I would be without you. And that is why I am doing this.”
You watched in wonder as Karube separated himself from you and slowly knelt down onto one knee. Your heart stopped, there’s no way he was doing what you were thinking he was doing.
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small violet box before holding it out to you in both hands. “Y/N L/N, will you please make me the happiest person on earth for the rest of my life and marry me?” He opened the box to reveal a gorgeous ring.
His hopeful eyes glistened in the moonlight up at you. You were covering your mouth in shock, tears filling up your eyes. You couldn’t believe it.
You nodded your head yes, and knelt down to Karube to give him the biggest hug you could ever give, head tucked into his neck and arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly. You heard him let out a big sigh of happiness and wrap his arms around you, squeezing you just as tight.
You leant back and crashed your lips onto his in a heated kiss. You held each other close underneath the moonlight, being the happiest souls that the moon would see for the time it would be awake.
You squealed as Karube suddenly broke the kiss and lifted you up into his arms with your legs clinging around his waist. He had tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks, making you reach out and wipe them away with your thumb gently before giving him another loving kiss on his lips.
“Thank you so much Y/N,” he whispered against your lips happily. “I couldn’t have asked for anything more in my life than you for the rest of it.” You couldn’t speak, so happy and emotional from the event. Your expression said it all to him.
As you slowly made your way back to the house to spend a happy and romantic night together, you and Karube were glued to each other’s side, laughing and cuddling in the cold night air.
He now had everything he ever dreamed of, and he couldn’t have been more happy about it.
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10yrsyart · 3 years
Text
Signs of Jesus return
i felt lead recently to compile some of the signs and current events pointing to Jesus’ soon return. i don’t know who this is meant for, but i know it’s for someone. so i hope that whoever reads this finds it helpful and informative 💙 (this is not complete either, as there are too many to list)
The Fig Tree Generation:
Jesus often used a fig tree to describe the country of Israel in His prophecies. “Now learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its branches bud and its leaves begin to sprout, you know that summer is near. In the same way, when you see all these things, you can know His return is near, right at the door. I tell you the truth, this generation will not pass from the scene until all these things take place.” (Matthew 24:32-34)
In Psalm 90, Moses describes a generation being “70-80 years,' and Isaiah 66:7-8 says, “Before the birth pains even begin, Jerusalem gives birth to a son. Who has ever seen anything as strange as this? Who ever heard of such a thing? Has a nation ever been born in a single day? Has a country ever come forth in a mere moment?” This did happen. In 1948, Israel became a nation in a day, after almost 2000 years. Israel needed to be a nation to fulfill its part in the Tribulation, so the countdown couldn't start without them. The imagery of birth pains is used in the Bible to describe the troubles that the world will go through before the Day of the Lord, meaning Israel must become a nation before the Lord's return.
1948+80 year generation= 2028. But since Jesus said “everything” (Rapture and Tribulation) would happen before the fig tree generation passed away (turns 81), we have to take away 7 years from the 2028 final count. That leads us to 2021-May 2022 approximately (right before they turn 74).
The Jewish Temple:
The book of Daniel speaks of the time during the 7 year Tribulation, when the Antichrist will come and take over Israel. “The ruler will make a treaty with the people for a period of one set of seven, but after half this time, he will put an end to the (daily) sacrifices and offerings. And as a climax to all his terrible deeds, he will set up a sacrilegious object that causes desecration, until the fate decreed for this defiler is finally poured out on him.” (Daniel 9:27) “The day is coming when you will see what Daniel the prophet spoke about- the sacrilegious object that causes desecration standing in the Holy Place.” (Matthew 24:15)
The second Jewish Temple was destroyed in 70 A.D., and hasn't been rebuilt since. The Holy Place is a specific spot inside the Temple, and the daily sacrifices and offerings that go along with the Jewish Law are only performed with the Temple in use.
As of 2021, the preparations for the Third Temple are nearly complete. The plans are laid out, the priests have been trained in the rules and rituals, the materials are all gathered. One source even says that theoretically the Temple could be built in a matter of 3-6 months. All they are waiting for is the go ahead. Those of the Jewish faith don't believe that Jesus is their Messiah, and many expect that the building of Third Temple will coincide with their own messiah making his appearance.. It's noteworthy that they're so close to building it after all this time.
The Abraham Accords:
In September 2020 the Abraham Accords were officially signed, setting up a peace deal with multiple Middle Eastern countries, including the United States. Since then other countries have added themselves to the peace treaty. There hasn't been a deal like this in the Middle East in a long time, much less centered around Israel. When the Antichrist comes to power, he strengthens a treaty or proposal of peace that already exists, and so the Abraham Accords have come at a significant time.
“Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom (ethnicity) against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes, and there will be famines and plagues in many lands, and there will be terrifying things and great miraculous signs from heaven.” (Luke 10-11)
Wars:
So many of the great wars in history have been within the last hundred years. War is not an uncommon thing for humanity, but the impact is much greater now, as is the frequency of wars on the horizon. Currently, many of the World Powers are already declaring war and/or making preparations. China threatening war against Taiwan and it's allies, Iran desiring to destroy the US and wipe Israel out as a nation, and many more threatened. It's not a question of if but of when.
Earthquakes:
The frequency of earthquakes has drastically gone up over the last couple years, not only in numbers but also in magnitude power. As I'm writing this (8/22/2021), we've had over twelve 7.0+ earthquakes in the last two weeks. That's not a normal level, not even taking into account all the earthquakes of lower magnitudes. Volcanic activity is rising as well. Many volcanoes that were previously thought to be dormant are awakening, some even erupting. Iceland's volcano Fagradalsfjall was thought to be dormant for 6000 years, until it erupted last March. (“Dutchsinse” on Youtube is a good source for seismic activity.)
Famines:
Because of the change in weather patterns, with flooding and wildfires and droughts, many of the worlds “bread baskets” (where a large portion of their food is grown) are not producing enough food. A shortage is already coming on America, not to mention all the other nations that are in the midst of one. Greece, Turkey, Australia, Italy, California and Oregon (US) are all burning at record rates. And mass  flooding is impacting just as much area, like Indonesia, China, New York (US), Haiti, Germany, and more.
Plagues/ Diseases:
Everyone is aware of the effect of the C Virus on the world, and now a new variant is appearing. Diseases like Ebola and the Bubonic Plague are re-emerging. Animals are experiencing these effects as well. Massive animal die offs are happening all over the world, from mysterious diseases and unknown causes. Various plagues have swarmed countries, for instance the mass attacks of locusts that have eaten through parts of Africa, and the infestation of billions of mice in Australia.
Signs in the Heavens:
“And I will cause wonders in the heavens and on the earth- blood and fire and columns of smoke. The sun will become dark, and the moon will turn blood red before that great and terrible day of the Lord arrives.” (Joel 2:30-31)  
As I mentioned earlier, volcanoes all over the world are waking up and erupting at an alarming rate. The super volcano centered in Yellowstone Wyoming (US) has been showing worrying signs of stirring as well.
In 2014, two Blood Moons landed on two of God's Feasts, which carry significance. Then in 2015 there was a Solar Eclipse, followed by another two Blood Moons that landed on the same Feasts as the previous year. In 2017, the Great American Solar Eclipse drew a line across the US. In 2020, the “Bethlehem Star” made an appearance as Jupiter and Saturn almost merged in the sky. Though it's not the same cosmic event as the true “Star” that heralded Christ's birth, its rarity and symbolism is important. This August 2021 we just had a rare Blue Moon.
The Revelation 12 Sign:
“Then I witnessed in heaven an event of great significance. I saw a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon beneath her feet, and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She was pregnant, and she cried out because of her labor pains and the agony of giving birth.” (Revelation 12:1-2)
In September 2017, this sign appeared in the sky for the first time ever. The constellation Virgo represents the woman, and the nine stars of Leo plus 3 wandering stars lined up as her crown. The moon was near her feet in the constellation and the sun was at her shoulder shining on her “clothes.” Then Jupiter entered the middle of the constellation (her stomach) and stayed there for nine months and left. Jupiter is generally considered to represent a ruler, and the child in Revelation is believed to represent the Church (Jesus' Body). The rest of Revelation 12: 3-5 speaks of the child being snatched away from the Dragon (the devil), which represents the Rapture of the Church before the Tribulation. So it's incredibly significant that the first part of this prophecy was fulfilled in the stars. (There's also a type of 4 year grace period before judgment in scripture (Luke 13:6-9), so 2017+ 4 years warning = 2021).
The Vaxx System:
“He required everyone- small and great, rich and poor, free and slave- to be given a mark on the right hand or on the forehead. And no one could buy or sell anything without that mark, which was either the name of the beast or the number representing the name.” (Revelation 13:16-17)
This is not about whether or not to take the vaxx, it's about the mentality around it. The animosity in the world media keeps growing towards those who don't wish to take it. The results don't add up to how single minded they are becoming, and it's easily paving the way for regulations to be carried out by brute force. There are stricter and stricter limitations to those who don't feel safe taking it, like being unable to shop at a grocery story or go to work... In the future, the world won't blink twice about a universal Mark of much greater magnitude and greater consequences. The consequences of refusing won't just mean an inability to buy or sell, but death.  
Alien Disclosure:
As of 2021, the US government has released the information they have on Unidentified Flying Objects, confirming the possibility of aliens. The first main stream event involving the alien conspiracy was the Roswell Incident of 1947, about a year before Israel became a nation. The reason why this is so significant is because 1) the Fig Tree prophecy was about to start when Israel revived, beginning the End Times countdown and 2) 2 Thessalonians 2:11 says the people left after the Rapture will believe a “Great Delusion.” Even a couple years ago, the thought of aliens coming down and taking people away would have been laughed at, but not now. Satan is the Prince of the Air; he uses his demons and spirits to appear as other things, so as to lead people away from the Truth of God. He knew when Israel became a nation the clock was ticking for the need of a believable lie. Now people could easily believe that all the Christians that disappeared were “beamed up” by aliens. (We don't know specifically what the Delusion will be yet, but this is certainly a possibility.)
Dreams and Visions:
“ 'In the Last Days,' God says, 'I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophecy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. In those days I will pour out My Spirit even on my servants- men and women alike- and they will prophecy.' “ (Acts 2:17-18)
Around the end of 2019 to the beginning of 2020, End Times dreams skyrocketed. The sheer amount that can be found on Youtube is astounding and it continues to grow. Dreams about the Rapture, dreams from Jesus, dreams about disasters that are coming; people from all over the world are sounding the alarm. And these aren't internet celebrities or self proclaimed prophets; these are every day normal people, some of which weren't even Christian to begin with. The amount of non-Believers that have had Jesus appear to them to save them continues to grow as well.
I personally felt an awakening through the Holy Spirit sometime around early 2020, that Jesus was returning soon. And the more I've studied Bible prophecies and current events I know that it's fast approaching. Although it's important to test the spirits of dreams to see if it's really from God or not, the message of the majority is clear. Time is short.
(This was just a small selection of the MANY signs that God continues to send as warnings. The frequency and intensity is rising like it never has before. A more in depth list can be found, along with Bible references and news sources, at https://www.ithasbeenwritten.com/ )
To You:
For those of you who are un-Believers, I am not writing this to be a fear monger. When evidence and reports come in that there's a bomb in a building, the people inside need to know about it. Even if it ends up being fake, the risk isn't worth it. This isn't just one fanatic Christian with a dream trying to convince everyone the end is near, this is the whole world. No matter what you believe about Bible prophecies, these current events are real things that are happening, and show no signs of slowing down. The good news is that Jesus died to save you from all this. He died to clear our sin debt and give us the hope of Heaven, a place we could never get to on our own. And His signs are saying He's coming soon to rescue everyone who accepted His sacrifice and entered His family.
“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)
For those Believers that don't think Jesus is returning soon, please pray about it and study His word. He was angry at the Pharisees of the generation of His first coming, because He said, “You know how to interpret the weather signs in the sky, but you don't know the how to interpret the signs of the times!” (Matthew 16:3).
Matthew 24's “no one knows the day/hour” is not saying that we won't know the season in which He will return. If it were, He wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of giving so many signs of the closeness of the event. “So you, too, must keep watch! For you don't know what day your Lord is coming.” (Matthew 24:42) “But you aren't in the dark about these things (signs), dear brothers and sisters, and you won't be surprised when the Day of the Lord comes like a thief.” (1 Thessalonians 5:4) Are you watching? Let's do our best to be a light as much as possible before it's too late.
“So when all these things begin to happen, stand and look up, for your salvation draws near!” (Luke 21:28)
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yuraimi-lee-bunny · 3 years
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GRAY’S CHARACTER ANALYSIS PART III. AMNESIA AND IT’S FUTURE CONSEQUENCES
Hello! Once again: sorry for the lateness 8'D. My work, some illustrations and personal matters have slowed me down again. The good thing is that there is nothing that can be intervened and this week I will be able to go faster with the writing of my analysis. Thank you very much for the continued support you have given to the previous two parts, and I hope you like this one too!
PS: My analysis will continue as normal, I will not mention anything about the recent interview with the show runner of the series. Perhaps that will be done at the end of the analysis or a separate post, by the time Gray's analysis is complete. Besides that I have already been giving my views on what Duane said about Gray. For the moment I just want my analysis to be about everything that I captured and analyzed before the interview.
Here we go!
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Goodbye (for now) to Gray/Crackle, and let's say hi to Graham!
As we know, Crackle had all his VILE-related memories erased, and he’s now a happy civilian at his previous job as an electrician at the Sydney Opera House. On a mission to Australia, Carmen finds him but he doesn't recognize her.
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Carmen doesn’t understand how it happened and why VILE did it, but for his sake, she prefers to get away from her, because she doesn’t want to complicate the new beginning that Gray/Graham has now in her life.
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To be honest, I don't have much to analyze in depth about Gray in these chapters where he has amnesia, even so, there are several points to highlight about him that speak more about his personality in this episode:
1.- When he taking out Carmen with her phrase "No wristband, no backstage access", I think I can safely say that he’s committed to his job, whatever it is. (as an electrician and also a VILE agent)
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2.- He has great self-confidence and temperance for having invited Carmen for a coffee, a girl he barely knew but who shows that he has a slight attraction for her.
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3.- Well, let's say that this confirms that he likes to be somewhat "naughty" and daring with his actions.
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4.- I may be exaggerating here, but I think that with the previous points that I have said, this can also count: It seems that Gray is a punctual person. He arrived before Carmen. (He’s very punctual or he was very excited about the "date")
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Ep.6 S1 served as a small introduction by Gray, or rather now Graham, of how now he has amnesia, he doesn't remember anything about VILE, or Carmen, a whole year "disappeared", as well as the decision of Carmen about being away from Gray so as not to complicate his life. Leaving a slight reminder of "you'll still see him again" for us.
Which did happen, in Ep.7 of S2. In addition to the fact that again there are some data that show about his personality, this time the episode left some clues that it was happening to him and the future that would hold him in the following seasons.
1.- It seems that he was serious that this place is his favorite coffee shop, and it seems that he likes coffee.
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2.- That tranquility is to be admired. The girl he invited for coffee who looked like she had dumped him, and there wasn’t a hint of anger/resentment/indignation in him. Again, like when they first met: as if nothing had happened. I love that about him. And he continues to correct Carmen about his name. He is Graham, not Gray (not Crackle). It seems somehow that he cares about being told by his respective name, as if the subject of his "identity" is important to him. We will move on to that later.
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3.- Can we look this screenshot for a moment, please? Leaving aside the “Red Crackle” feeling that can emerge at this time for many (myself included), I want to talk about the fact that there continues that communication with only the look that they have always had.
The first two chapters of the series showed you several scenes of how Carmen and Gray just by looking at each other communicated what they thought, they knew they wanted to say to each other. I mention this because to me, these glances between them were purposely done with the following objective: Yes, Gray will have had his VILE memories suppressed, but body memory is another matter, the subconscious is something that NOBODY can handle or manipulate. Gray's body responded to Carmen's glances subconsciously, the body responded because of body memory, because it already has that mechanism in the presence of Carmen.
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4.- There is a theory/belief that a few weeks ago they shared which if I can believe it 50/50 because it sounds valid. In summary. Since Gray is an orphan, Carmen knew that by mentioning that she runs an international charity for abandoned children, he would not refuse. Because she knows he's an orphan, and it seems that somehow, Gray has had a mark on it. She left you the link.
5.- Again, maybe I'm exaggerating, b Gray/Graham seems to have very good manners.
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6.- He likes Rock. (And before I thought it was a slight preview of Carmen's next cappers, but it was only an idea *sobbing*)
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7.- 
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This scene causes me a little laugh because of a personal event and because it shows an interesting side of Gray/Graham: 
- Personal event: Several friends and I were watching the episodes of the second season on the day of its premiere, when arriving at this scene, a friend said "Well of course, he will have amnesia but he isn’t stupid" I laughed uncontrollably, and in part, he had a bit of reason.
- This scene in addition to putting tension at the moment because Graham did something that wasn't in Carmen's plans, it shows how Gray/Graham is someone who needs answers/explanations when he something doesn't understand, or when he thinks they lied to him and he just goes to look for them. Because if he were too passive or behaved, he would have stayed to follow orders. Another thing he could do is just make judgments from his perspective, regardless of reality. But no, he stood up, and he couldn't wait another second for the answers. The truth is something that matters to him. And I think he's also somewhat rebellious. He makes sense because throughout the series it's noticed as if he wants/needs something, certainly does what he needs to do. I consider him too independent and confident that he can achieve it.
8.- His peculiar expression of surprise: Crikey.
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9.- Another reminder that  his subconscious and unconscious have memories of what he lived in VILE.
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10.- Beautiful Red Crackle scenes that in addition to adding feeling, actually matter a lot for Gray / Crackle's empathy in the future, but that will be for part 4 of the analysis.
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11.- 
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…Seriously Gray? EXCUSE ME Graham. SERIOUSLY? You fell, you could have hit severely or even broken something, Carmen cares about you, and instead of saying "I'm fine" do you say "It's Graham"?! ... Seriously he cares a lot about the name and identity.
As you can see, in this episode there was more about Gray and his personality, but it also hinted that there are still vestiges of memories in the back of his mind of that year in VILE and of having been Crackle. It's very curious about how Graham trusts Carmen so much, I think I know the reasons behind it, the first is because he has an attraction towards Carmen, but the most important are two: the first is because he already knows more about her, because Carmen had the confidence to ask him for help in one of his missions and to tell him in some way what she does. The second reason, again: his subconscious. As I mentioned in the previous analysis parts, Gray appreciated Carmen very much, and although before he could mistake it as "loyalty" and see her as her family, he still appreciated her very much. Her subconscious, her body, her instinct is still there, so I don't hesitate to defend her when she was in trouble with Neel. (His desire to help Carmen was greater than the "great memory and liking" he previously had for Crackle Rod.)
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And well, now, let's move on to two last things before ending this episode:
1.- ACME is targeting Gray. Once again, we were told that it would not be the last time we would see him. More events awaited him.
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2.-
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This phrase left me so thoughtful when I watched it. It left me thinking TOO MUCH.
It left me pondering that phrase so much because I didn't understand why that mattered so much to him. We talked about how Gray/Crackle came into VILE, he agreed to be a villain, he basically agreed to be "bad guy" And now that he has amnesia, he cared about being on the right side. Which I didn't understand because Crackle's memory had been "erased". He had only "eliminated" him the whole year that he lived in VILE, just that. Doing that doesn't change his morale, because Gray had already arrived at the "Vocational School" with his morale of wanting to steal, he was already ambitious before joined to VILE. Which had me very intrigued, believing that something had happened to Graham, in that period of his "normal life" that had made him reconsider his morals and that now he wanted to do something good. I expected everything, whatever, except the change in morals. And so, wild first 5 minutes from S4 comes...
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... are you telling me that EVERYTHING Gray thought, did and said in his state of amnesia... WERE LIES!?
I really couldn't believe it and that puts an absolutely huge twist on Gray's arc. Although my boyfriend and I are with a certain difference in perspective to what Maelstrom said:
When he mentioned “suppress the criminal impulse” to me he meant that VILE changed his morale, that they basically took away that “evil impulse” so that he wouldn’t be caught again by the law should it happen at some point. Ensuring that with memory removed and morale changed, VILE was safe.
My boyfriend on the other hand, interpreted it that they only took away the "desire to steal", nothing more. His morals, his beliefs, everything about him remains the same, except wanting to steal or do something criminal. Believing that in reality, Gray is a good person, since before entering VILE.
The perspective of my boyfriend is interesting to me and that is why I want to share it, to know what you think, and also mentioned it because this perspective will be taken up again in part 4 of the analysis.
And here concludes the third part! I hope you liked it. Parts 4 and 5 will be a bit long because it’s the most dense and symbolic part of Gray to analyze, but at the same time, they will come out on time faster, it may be that in the following week both parts are ready and published.  Regards!
Part. I Introdution
Part. II Empathy vs Ambition 
Part. III Amnesia and it’s Future Consequences (HERE)
Part. III.5 Graham Calloway: The Walking Enigma
Part. IV Integrity At a high (and unfair) price
Part. V The final decision and a new beginning
Plus 1. Gray and his strange habit of explaining things
Plus 2. Crossover: Sabrina And Gray: New Beginning
Plus 3. Crossover: Hawk/Eli and Crackle/Gray: Redemption
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