#i know youre cheering me on in lesbian heaven | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smellsfaintlyofvanilla · 3 years

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I just saw your post on the matchups,,, but first of all - CONGRATULATIONS!! you deserve it so much<3

and can I please request a match-up?

my pronouns are she/they and I'm a lesbian! I'm infj and aries!

I'm 5,6 and I have brown-purple long length hair with hazel eyes.

I love learning about flowers and lgbtq+ history, singing, exploring nature, traveling, and baking! oh, and painting rocks!

well, I'm very quiet and closed off to strangers. but with my friends, my personality totally changes. they describe me as kind, responsible, chaotic, and pretty cheerful! but also realistic and honest (in a nice way?). I think that fits my actual personality.

I'm a very good listener, but I also really want someone to listen to me. also, someone that tells me how things are and is pretty good at communication because I'm a big overthinker. physical affection would be great as well. just someone who loves me as much as I love them.

my worst weakness is being bad at confrontation! but my biggest strength I think is being cared about others.

I also love picnics and studio ghibli movies!

I don't know if this helps but I listen to Mitsuki, mother mother and marina and the diamonds a lot.

photos for the relationship would be better, please!

thank you and congratulations again꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡

Okay okay okay, I know this is a character matchup but like... can I match you up with me? You literally sound perfect.

Also, amazing taste in music, Mitski and Mother Mother are totally my two favorite artists!

Enough of that, I match you with...

ANNIE LEONHART

-----

Okay, reading this ask, it was basically screaming Annie at me

It feels like it would be a really stable and mutually beneficial relationship

At first, she was drawn to you just because of how quiet you were

Because, thank god, there was someone in the cadets who knew how to keep their mouth shut

Plus, she couldn't deny at all that she was physically attracted to you, too

So, for a while, she stuck by your side, watching over you like a hawk would to her territory

But, over time, you seemed to start talking to her much more

It surprised her at first, but she quickly decided she liked the talkative you much better

You seemed so genuinely happy to be near her, always smiling and spending time with her, no matter how stoic and unresponsive she stayed

And, she couldn't deny that occasionally getting roped into your little schemes and jokes was a little amusing sometimes

The more time she spent around you, the more she felt her affection grow towards you

It started with just an innocent curiosity, but was quickly growing into a genuine crush

She resisted pretty fiercely at first, refusing to admit her feelings or, heaven forbid, confess

But time passed, and it grew harder and harder for her to hide it

The way you would so casually put your hand on her shoulder, acting like it was such a platonic gesture. It was, to you, but to her, it made her heart flutter and her face redden

But she'd persist on keeping it hidden

That is, until she can't take it anymore

Having you around her so often, being so friendly to such an aloof person like her... it was driving her wild

So, one day, she quietly led you by your hand to a small open area in the forest near the barracks, having brought a soft blanket and a handful of stolen food for the two of you to share

She listens intently as you talk to her about whatever currently interested you, eating her portion of the food and making sure there was plenty left for you

Eventually, the sun was starting to set, and the two of you had ran out of food. You had to head back in soon, and Annie suddenly had no more time to stall

She quietly confessed her feelings to you, spilling the words from her heart in a moment of vulnerability that seldom surfaced

She raised her head to meet your glance, and you could her the slightest shake of nervousness in her voice as she asked if you liked her back

Which, you did, and you made it clear that you did very quickly

And boy, she was elated

Not that it showed on her face, but her heart was practically doing cartwheels as you moved over to hug her, and she immediately hugged back, practically involuntarily

Following the start of your relationship, Annie still stayed closely by your side, almost like a protector (a knight in shining armor, if you will)

If anyone, anyone, tries to start shit with you, she's immediately there to tell them that "she doesn't want anything to do with you, back off"

But, when the two of you are alone, she gets very soft

Insists on touching you in some way

Not sexually, but just laying your head in her lap, or leaning against her chest

She'll just melt having someone who she cares about deeply, someone like you, so close to her

She truly feels like she has the whole world in her arms whenever you cuddle with her

Refuses to let you go whenever there's "still extra time to cuddle"

ESPECIALLY at night

She will spoon you the entire night, and dare you even try to wiggle away, she's pulling you right back

Even when she's asleep, she'll always make sure that you're firmly against her front, like a giant teddy bear she refuses to let go of

Whenever you're anxious or upset, she makes sure that she's the first one you go to

She's not the best with words, but she can sure as hell listen

She'll always make sure you've vented out all your feelings, be it frustration, anger, sadness, grief, anything

She'll cradle you in her arms and pull you against your chest if you start crying, coddling you in the most comforting way she can manage

And if she's upset about something, she'll be a bit hesitant, but she'll ask if she can talk about something with you

And she sounds alarmingly small whenever she vents like this

Sometimes she might want to cuddle, other times she wants your words to reassure her that she's worth it, and sometimes she just wants someone to listen patiently

Sometimes, when it's really bad for her, she'll ask you to sing for her, and by the time the song is finished, you'll find her already asleep against your chest

She even started calling you her little songbird on occasion after that

But don't be fooled by her nonchalant behavior, this woman would do anything for you

-----

"Alright cadets, sparring is up! You'll be on free time until the sun begins to set, then file into the cafeteria for dinner!" Commander Shadis shouts over the commotion of the sparring ground. You finally stilled your movements, dropping your fists from their defensive stance and letting them fall to your sides, taking in a large sigh of air. Immediately, almost all of the cadets, including your training partner, dissipate to seek out their own little friend groups, using the rare free time as a chance to unwind and relax with your friends.

A warm hand on your shoulder startles you out of your breathless and oblivious state, and you turn to find the owner of the hand; none other than Annie.

"Hey, I was watching you from where I was sparring." She started, moving her hand in slow circles to lazily massage your shoulder in a calming manner. "You're technique is improving. Well done, you're catching on fast."

You sigh, tilting your head back to stare up at the sky. "Yeah, I guess..." You mutter. It didn't escape you how your voice sounded fragile and weak, but you weren't surprised. You had been feeling pretty awful for the past few days now, and as time passed seemingly without any time to breathe, you could only feel as the soreness seeped through your muscles, headache already starting to pound away at your temple, throbbing painfully.

Annie tilted her head to the side slightly, eyebrows furrowing in concern as her hand stilled. "You okay? You don't sound good."

"I'm fine, just didn't get enough sleep."

"Liar." She spoke bluntly. You knew she was only trying to pry out what was wrong, but it didn't stop the sting of the word. "What's really going on? You can tell me." Her voice softened drastically from her previous tone, practically coaxing you to spill all of your worries onto her.

“Really, don't worry about it-"

"HEY Y/N! ANNIE!" An obnoxious voice called over the buzzing of voices left and right. The short-tempered brunette, Eren, jogged over to where you two were, trailed closely by Armin, Mikasa, Jean, and Reiner.

"We're going out to the forest to see who can collect the most berries, wanna come?" He chirped, inviting you into his little competition. If your body didn't feel like pure shit right now, you would consider joining him.

"It's fine." Annie interjects, taking a few subtle steps forward, standing in front of you to avoid bringing you into the purposefully short conversation. "She isn't feeling well, we're going to head to the barracks."

Eren's eyes traveled from Annie towards you, then back at Annie. Finally, he shrugged, turning around and walking away. "If you say so. But I'm not sharing any just so you know."

Once the small group had all started in the direction opposite of you and Annie, she took your hand firmly. "C'mon." She mumbled, tugging at your wrist to get you to follow.

She led you exactly where she said she would: the barracks. There, she found your bed, the one you had agreed to share with her, pulling the blankets up and climbing underneath them. Silently, she stared at you, patting the space next to her as an invitation. You obeyed silently, lying down next to her, and feeling a small fraction of the tension in your body melt away the second Annie's arms wrapped around you.

"Are you sure you're okay? Seriously, I don't like seeing you look so miserable." She muttered into the crook of your neck, hand searching under the blanket for your own, soon finding your it and rubbing comforting circles over the back.

"Mhm..." You groaned, already fighting off the urge to close your eyes and fall asleep right then and there. "Just... tired. I feel like Shadis hasn't given us a break in weeks. I'm so sore... and tired..." A quiet grumble breaks through the silence, from what you presume to be your own stomach. "...and hungry." You finish.

Annie laughs softly at your last statement, heat rising to her cheeks as she moves her body to kiss you on the forehead. "I'll make sure to split some of my rations with you darling, I don't mind."

Her soothing voice had an unfortunate (or fortunate, it all depends on the situation) effect on you, sleep already trying to grasp you and pull you into its realm.

"You don't... have to..." You mumbled, lolling your head to the side as your eyes slipped shut, all attempts at protest dying in your throat as you plunged into unconsciousness.

Annie smiled softly at your sleeping form, pulling you closer and planting another kiss to your forehead. "Sleep well."

-----

(I couldn’t make the images smaller help 😥)

#500milestone #Annie x reader #Annie leonhart x reader #AOT matchup

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enbyincrisis · 4 years

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For the ask game: Any book/tv shows/movie/song recommendations Top five albums or TV shows

I’m so sorry Rowan, I don’t know when you sent this!! I’m sorry I didn’t see this until now!!

Side note: everyone go follow Rowan (@ex--libris) please!!

Here you go though:

Top Five Albums:

Ummmm okay

1. Danger Days - The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys by My Chemical Romance

2. Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance

3. ¡Viva la Cobra! by Cobra Starship (yes I’m gay)

4. Stomacheaches by Frank Iero and the Cellabration

5. Dookie by Green Day

Bonus - Heartwork by The Used.

(That’ll probably all change in about 2 hours though, I’m highly indecisive.)

Top Five TV Shows:

1. Hilda

2. The Umbrella Academy

3. BBC Sherlock (it makes me happy, okay)

4. Doctor Who

5. Stranger Things

(Again, I’m indecisive.)

Book Recommendations:

OKAY SO

- The Raven Cycle (Maggie Stiefvater) - a bunch of teenagers search for a dead Welsh king. There are gays, there are ghosts who like glitter, there are living trees, there are magic sentient forests, everything you could need. If you read nothing else on this list, this is the one.

- Skulduggery Pleasant (Derek Landy) - my favourite books since I was a kid. In terms of representation, in the later books we’ve got bi people, lesbians, trans women, and A GENDERFLUID CHARACTER WHO IS NOT A SHAPESHIFTER!!

- Beowulf (unknown) - I personally prefer the John Earle translation but you will need to google every fifth word, so probably go with a different version.

- Percy Jackson/Riordanverse (Rick Riordan) - bro just do it all the gays do.

- The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald) - one of my favourite books of all time just abjdkjledwm,ndscjhsdka.

- A Semi-Conservative List of Worst Nightmares (Krystal Sutherland) - massive trigger warning but tbh life changing.

- Friday Barnes (R.A. Spratt) - imagine Sherlock Holmes but funny and with an autistic teenage girl and excellent supporting characters. Also written by an Australian author so check it out.

- The Medoran Chronicles (Lynette Noni) - another one of my favourite series and another Australian one. Funny, heartbreaking, heartwarming, a sentient library, I may be in love with Kaiden.

- The Wife Drought (Annabel Crabb) - a must read. Nonfiction but also really entertaining. Feminist themes.

- Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) - she’s queer, change my mind.

- Acting: The First Six Lessons (Richard Boleslavsky) - even if you’re not a theatre student, check this one out.

- Theatre and Sexuality, Theatre and Politics, Theatre and Gender, Theatre and Protest - a bunch of different essays published as books about the place of theatre in our current society.

- Simon versus the Homo Sapien Agenda (Becky Albertalli) - please it’s gay.

Movie Recommendations:

- Love, Simon

- Small Foot

- Aladdin

- Paper Planes

- Spiderman - Into the Spiderverse

- The Lego Movie 2 (don’t @ me)

- The Little Prince

- Bohemian Rhapsody

- Popstar Never Stop Never Stopping (massive content warning/profanity)

- Labyrinth

TV Show Recommendations:

- High School Musical the Musical the Series (guys they have the best gays I swear to god I would die for them)

- Doctor Who

- Steven Universe (view it critically)

- Adventure Time

- She-Ra

- Hilda

- BBC Sherlock

- The Umbrella Academy

- Stranger Things

- Yuri on Ice (I like figure skating OKAY)

Music Recommendations:

- Transgender Dysphoria Blues (album) (Against Me!)

- I Said Hi (song) (Amy Shark)

- Panic Room (song) (Au/Ra)

- Warriors (album) Bad Cop, Bad Cop

- Prom Queen (song) (Beach Bunny)

- Sports (song) (Beach Bunny)

- I Want To Feel Chaotic (EP) (Bears in Trees [@bearsintreesofficial])

- The 411 (song) (Bears in Trees [@bearsintreesofficial])

- When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (album) (Billie Eilish)

- Come Out and Play (song) (Billie Eilish)

- HouseFyre (song) (Briggs and Tim Minchin)

- Naughty List (song) (Callux)

- Two Shoes (album) (The Cat Empire)

- Sleepyhead (album) (Cavetown)

- Boys Will Be Bugs (song) (Cavetown)

- Night Shades (album) (Cobra Starship)

- Beetlejuice (Original Broadway Cast Recording)

- American Beauty/American Psycho (album) (Fall Out Boy)

- Folie à Deux (album) (Fall Out Boy)

- Barriers (album) (Frank Iero and the Future Violents)

- Stomachaches (album) (Frank Iero and the Cellabration)

- American Idiot (album) (Green Day)

- Dookie (album) (Green Day)

- Nimrod (album) (Green Day)

- Revolution Radio (album) (Green Day)

- Father of All... (album) (Green Day)

- i’m so tired... (song) (Lauv and Troye Sivan)

- Songs of Revelation (album) (Lewin Grimley)

- Neutron Star Collision (song) (Muse)

- prom dress (song) (mxmtoon)

- The Black parade (album) (MCR)

- Conventional Weapons (series of EPs) (MCR)

- Danger Days (album) (MCR)

- Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (album) (MCR)

- I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love (album) (MCR)

- Life on the Murder Scene (album) (MCR)

- Pipe Dreams (EP) (Nevergenders [@nevergenders])

- Hadestown (original broadway cast recording)

- The Bastards (album) (Palaye Royale)

- Remember the Laughter (album) (Ray Toro)

- The Sufferer & The Witness (album) (Rise Against)

- 35MM: A Musical Exhibition (Original Cast Recording)

- Six: The Musical (Studio Cast Recording)

- Maybe Trapped Mostly Troubled (album) (Tessa Violet)

- Halloway (EP) (Tessa Violet)

- Seasons of Love (Thomas Sanders version)

- Tom Rosenthal (artist)

- Troye Sivan (artist)

- Heartwork (album) (The Used)

- Equation (from the Little Prince motion picture soundtrack)

- Astro Zombies (song) (MCR)

- Every Snowflake’s Different Just Like You (song) (MCR)

- Don’t Make Me (song) (MALINDA)

- Desolation Row (song) (MCR)

- Kill All Your Friends (song) (MCR)

- All the Angels (song) (MCR)

- Heaven Help Us (song) (MCR)

- MANIA (album) (Fall Out Boy)

- Nancy Boy (song) (Placebo)

- Black Holes (Solid Ground) (song) (The Blue Stones)

- Gender is Boring (song) (She/Her/hers)

- Greek Tragedy (song) (The Wombats)

- Hesitant Alien (album) (Gerard Way)

- Bullet with Butterfly Wings (song) (The Smashing Pumpkins)

- Devil Town (song) (Cavetown)

- Oxford Comma (song) (Vampire Weekend)

- Check Yes, Juliet (song) (We the Kings)

- Remembering Sunday (song) (All Time Low)

- Dear Maria, Count Me In (song) (All Time Low)

- The Bird and the Worm (song) (The Used)

- Help Let Me Go (song) (Danny Gonzalez)

- S.O.S. (Sawed Off Shotgun) (song) (The Glorious Sons)

- I Think We’re Alone Now (Billie Joe Armstrong)

I’m so sorry, that’s a lot, but I HAVE A LOT OF OPINIONS!!

Thank you for the ask Rowan, sorry it took so long <3333

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myucornerorg · 4 years

Text

I was tagged by @landofanimes!

RULES: go here, list 15 BANDAI sera myu characters (senshi are fine but name the actor too), randomize and answer! Then tag two other people from the fandom.

1. Your Parent: Jaguar Mask (Kenji Tominaga)

Ok...pretty weird parent, but I did try to be creative with the myu characters I put on the list. Jaguar Mask is this wrestler character from the 10th Anniversary myu Ai no Sanctuary who the Senshi cheer for, but then he gets turned evil by Dark Nibiru (he gets better later). I guess it would be kinda cool to have a famous wrestler as a dad...

(By the way, I recently found out there's a manga from the late '60s/early '70s called Tiger Mask, which was made into an anime in the '70s and has been remade a bunch of times. Real-life Japanese pro wrestlers have taken on the Tiger Mask persona as well. I wonder if this influenced the creation of Jaguar Mask...).

2. Sibling: Loof Merrow (Ono Hikari)

Well, that'd be a pretty cool sibling actually. Though she also lived thousands of years ago so not sure how that works...

3. Grandparent: Centi (Endou Ado)

Ok not sure how she'd be my grandmother but ok... (Centi is one of the Grimmseijin from Mugen Gakuen BTW).

4. Haunts You: Prince Dimande (Ono Hikari)

Yep, sounds about right. I mean, Bandai Dimande wasn't quite as creepy as PE Dimande (though I can still picture Hikari rocking "Junpaku no Megami"), but Dimande is a creepy guy regardless.

5. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Chibiusa (Gunji Ayano)

Um...I don't date girls (I'm straight)...but for the purposes of this example let's pretend I do. Chibiusa is quite a bit younger than me (physically at least; obviously she's really 900+), so us dating would be kinda weird. Possibly even illegal if she's considered a child. (That's why I picked Gunji as an actress cause she's older than most Chibimoon actresses). Maybe we started with a mentor relationship and it became something more??

6. Ex: Kaolinite (Kawasaki Miki)

Again I don't date girls but we'll pretend. Man Kaolinite would be like the worst kind of ex. Maybe I dumped her when she started getting all evil, or maybe she cheated on me with Tomoe. Don't know. I'd imagine now that she wants to hex me big time. (Or just flat out steal my hostie and turn me into a vessel for a Daimon).

7. Best Friend: Tiger's Eye (Kasahara Ryuuji)

Um...WTH. Why would we be best friends? He's kinda creepy. (I feel like Ryuuji would be a cool friend though).

8. Proposed to you: Rei (Megumi Yoshida or maybe Kotani Misako)

That seems highly unlikely. Maybe she was drunk? Or maybe she secretly leans that way but didn't want to be with Minako anymore? The mind races...also since I just became reacquainted with Sailor Moon Abridged recently, I'm picturing the SMA Rei (a crazy, always angry, has-no-indoor-voice Satanist) in this for some weird reason.

9. Boss: Mamoru (Shirota Yuu or Kenji Urai)

That would be one cool hot boss...dang.

10. Random Person You Met at a Bar: Usagi (Ooyama Anza)

Of all the people I could meet at a bar LOL. I mean, Usagi did use her Disguise Pen that one time to get into an adult nightclub.

11. Rival: Space Knight (Mochizuki Yuuta)

So...my boss is Mamoru, but my rival is future Mamoru (since Space Knight is an alter ego of King Endymion's). Awkward. Also would be problematic as my sister Loof Merrow would be in love with him.

12. Gave you first kiss: Sailor Astarte (Hosoda Aya)

Well...this is getting, uh, interesting. My first kiss was with a senshi from the new moon, who's also secretly a goddess and a vessel for Dark Cain, an evil undead guy who's trying to end the world. My ex Kaolinite became a witch and part of the Death Busters. And my current girlfriend is a kid (and my boss AND rival's daughter to boot!). This is like a telenovela!

[GIF source]

13. Drunk and sing karaoke with: Miss Dream (Takeda Keiko)

Another villain...ok. I mean, she is picked on by the rest of the Dead Moon Circus, so she probably needs a friend.

14. Played 7 minutes in heaven with: Ami (Kawabe Chieco)

No joke...I had no idea what 7 minutes in heaven was and had to look it up. 😅 Anyway, I don't think Ami and I would make out or anything (though maybe since according to this list I'm a lesbian who's just getting around like nobody's business). Seriously though I think we'd probably sit and talk the whole time, like two reasonable, intelligent people. We'd have the deepest conversation one can have in 7 minutes, then exchange contact info so we can continue the conversation later.

15. Gave you your fave dessert: Minako (Ayumi Murata)

Can Minako even bake?? Still, I'd definitely appreciate the gesture.

Hmm...who should I tag?? I'll tag @kosmosinusa and @gracemyheart (hopefully you haven't already done it...if so sorry).

#seramyu #sera myu #sailor moon musicals #fun questions

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speaktopoojasingh · 4 years

Text

The Blind Date

Shane disheartened with his spirits low, headed his way back towards his home. He looked for the keys in the pocket hurriedly and quietly shuts the main door without uttering a single word and goes straight into his bedroom.

“Shane, how was it? Why do you look so low? Was she not pretty enough for you? Come on man, you can’t be that picky”. Austin asked, being muddled, scratching his head, as he was the one who had set this date up.

“Austin, I just want to be left by myself, please don’t pester me right now. I want to be alone with my thoughts for a while. Could you make me a drink? A Rum may be? Montilla?”

Did I not ever imagine meeting her again? But today when she was right in front of my eyes, why did I stutter?

He did not even in his wildest dreams expect that Rosaline would have changed and grown into a mature young woman and could leave a drastic impact on him. She looked so beautiful in her soft ivory halter neck dress. Her pearls which she wore radiated her pure heart, reminding of how she used to wear her heart on her sleeve. It wasn’t her honey dipped brown eyes which reflected her generosity or her mellifluous voice which felt as if the angels had come down on earth and playing the violin wearing those chaplets. It wasn’t her appearance which made her turn heads, but to be honest, her silly crooked nervous smile made him fall in love with her all over again as if he hadn’t tasted what loving a woman had ever felt like. His stoic personality often made her giggle like a young teenager. There was just something, her aura so strong even cleansing the air.

Rosaline was looking forward to this date as she was an enthusiast and a sucker for crazy ideas to find her prince charming. At times, it seems that Rosaline herself is the prince who is fighting battles against all these emotionally unavailable men, swimming through the creeps, and finding the one who yet struggles with commitment issues.

She removes her favourite crimson coloured slit dress to make the guy fall in love with her at first instance, but again she is a bit old fashioned and not too bold in her appearance. Cream or an ivory color dress would do justice to her soft personality. White pumps to match and look more put together even though her life is not too organised, but as they say fake it till you make it. Rosy tint on her cheeks to make sure she looked interested in him and he thinks that he is an interesting person who is making her blush, well only heaven would know the little trick she played here. A classic mauve lip shade would be perfect, not too loud nor too dull.

“Lucy, come here”, screamed Rosaline.

“Yes yes what’s the matter?” “Did you find out who Samirah is dating?”

“No you nut head, how do I look for the date? Good enough?”

“Enough to destroy his life.” “I wish I were that lucky boy, even being a lesbian would do, I mean I could turn gay for this beaut,” squeed Lucy.

Too cheesy Lucy, appalled Rosaline.

Rosaline was sitting at the backseat of a retro-looking cab, thinking about the date Austin had set up. She had met Austin at the Durjoy Dutta’s book signing event. He was the only guy, while all the other girls including her were fangirling over his quirky dimples. Not that she took less interest in his novels, but when there is a complimentary dessert, how could one resist? Durjoy Dutta writes romance, and seeing him come for the book signing, without feeling embarrassed, did impress her. Guys reading romance novels other than science fiction or some thriller novels did set the bar high for her. From that moment she knew, that if he would be a hopeless romantic, their talks would be like the typical cliché new lovers who talk about laying in an empty dry grassland, star gazing while he would call her the most beautiful lady that the moon would hide itself as it might face inferiority complex. Rosaline had to burst her bubble when she found out that Austin was gay. She laughed at her own self for letting her mind wander in that direction. Their first meeting was smooth and in no time, they enjoyed each other’s company and started hanging out a lot more. He was a true friend to her, and would often talk about each other’s lifeless romance journeys.

I am being way too optimistic for today’s date. I should try and relax, but if Austin has set this up for me then I’m pretty sure he would have kept in mind about all the kinkiness I am filled with. I can trust him on his.

Rosaline was supposed to meet him at café named Poetry, which was in Juhu. She specifically chose the café because of its name and the amazing macaroons it sold. She had been obsessed with macaroons since the day she has been learning French. Je peux manger dix maracons à la fois.

Another reason for her to choose this café was that because she herself is poetry in itself. Well that’s how the men flirted with her. She reached the location and was nearly fifteen minutes late, for as to say fashionably late. Austin had informed Rosaline that the guy is tall, sturdy, and would have the prettiest set of eyes in the room. For a second it did remind her of Shane, her ex boyfriend thinking about how he had big round sparkling eyes where her own reflection could be seen when she looked for way too long into his eyes and drown into the pool of loveliness. She looked specifically for the glowing eyes as Austin had described and the next moment she is blunt.

I used to see his face in the crowd, on advertisement posters, even on the television but it was never him. Is my mind playing tricks on me again? I feel like I am being haunted by my imagination and fear right now.

Rosaline is dumbstruck. Mixed feelings rushed into her body which can’t be put to words to what she was feeling. She actually had to pinch herself to make herself believe that Shane was her date.

Shane had no serious plans of meeting Rosaline. He came on the date to cheer him up but instead knowing the fact now that he was having a blind date with his ex-girlfriend left him astounded. All of these thoughts racing in his head trying to surpass one another was overwhelming him. He still had a minute to wash his face and to fetch his breath. He glanced at his watch and his heart started to beat twice as fast. It was a chilly evening, yet he was feeling sweaty.

What am I supposed to talk to her? What am I going to say to her? Will I be able to face her once again? What would she say?

“Shane, hey” said Rosaline trying to sound as warm as she could.

“Rose”? Said astonishingly

It’s Rosaline, not Rose, she corrected.

Yes, Rosaline, he stuttered. Please, please just take a seat, make yourself comfortable. Shane requested.

You are talking as I am your first candidate and you are going to interview me, but seemingly you look more nervous than the interviewee, joked Rosaline.

I have successfully managed to embarrass myself once again. You know, I tend to get nervous around gorgeous women, he defended.

Should I take that as a compliment or should I be salty about it? I choose to accept that you very smoothly flirted with me, actually I would say tried to flirt, said Rosaline.

Well whatever you take it as, it is what it is, stated Shane.

Rose didn’t feel the initial nervousness or the awkwardness which Shane was facing that could be seen but as usual his old trait of hiding back or holding back his real emotions, rather call it as toxic trait than it being a part of his personality. Holding back what he really felt like, made Rosaline a bit edgy.

Rosaline wears her heart on her sleeve. She believes anyone who cannot be vulnerable is not worthy enough for her to trust. Shane wondered if she still thought the same or would she be a little easy on him.

So, how has life been? Shane trying to break the long pause, forgetting for a minute that Rosaline was here.

“Well, it’s been amazing for me. I feel like I am growing as a person a lot more. I always thought that I was wronged; hurt and as broken as a piece of glass shattering and the more force you apply it breaks furthermore, that’s exactly how it had been for me. You know Shane, there is always, always something that one can learn, ways you can grow and I’m in that learning stage” being as gentle as she could be.

“I am pretty sure you might not be expecting a response like that from me or should have I rather said, Shane, I can’t live without you, I won’t be able to, I still need you,” as Rosaline plays around with Shane and his consciousness.

“Did you not want that too”? Shane responded with dismay.

“What? Startled Rosaline.

“Did you not say that all to me, did you not mean all of it then?” feeling a little restless, Shane asked her.

After a pause, Rosaline answers him saying, “I did think that I did, but you know when your body can survive the breakdown process then it as well can heal itself. It’s similar to a physical wound, instead, here it’s just your heart begging for mercy and the brain wouldn’t stop overthinking it. It’s like when you fall down and start bleeding, the platelets principal function is to stop bleeding, but we anyways bleed a little. They release chemical signals to promote clotting. Our brain tries to make the heart understand the same way, but still, it does bleed a lot of emotions. When you fall, it will hurt, it is supposed to hurt. And when I learned that, I knew I can, I definitely can live without your presence. Even though you kept hurting me, gave a million reasons why I should not stay, but I was looking for that only one reason for you to stay, but sooner or later I had to accept the reality that I was a tenant in your heart, or maybe lesser than that, I, I do not know if I actually did have your heart or not, but it doesn’t matter to me any longer because I don’t feel drawn towards you anymore or I do not seek any closure, I think I have had it enough”

Shane not knowing how to respond to her feels heavy. His body starts feeling the burden, his energy levels dip down drastically. The intense discomfort reaches to a peak that his heart is pounding; legs feel shaky and felt shortness of breathlessness. He has mastered the art of keeping a straight face even though he certainly is near experiencing a panic attack.

“Why couldn’t you stop me?” Shane trying his level best to mask it up and keep a poker face by default.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” Rosaline fumed. “I gave you everything, every element, every atom present in my body. I devoted all of it to you. I was on my knees for you. I let myself down for you, yet you left me by making such a statement that I wasn’t worthy enough for love. You were just my fantasy, was I only worthy of being so small? I did not deserve that”.

“Do you not love me anymore? How can you stop loving me?” Shane was curious to know.

“Could you tell me where did you get the nerve to ask me that”? Rosaline trying to appear poised. “I don’t. I don’t love you anymore, Shane Gosling”.

He couldn’t understand what was going on, Rosaline’s harshness and the sharp words were causing him to blackout. Shane couldn’t anymore hold himself back, he had to acknowledge and take his leave before his heart is left upon the floor.

Keeping her hand on Shane’s cold fingers, with a warm sense of love, Rosaline said, ‘We should take our leave. Please take care of yourself,’ and left with a tender smile.

The date didn’t go as it was supposed to go, as they couldn’t meet each other’s expectations. They decided to end the conversations; both of them would return to their empty walls, thinking of what was and wondering what this could have been, perhaps, is left to realize the beauty and mystery of their lives, the realization towards closure that some people can stay in our heart forever but not in our lives.

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Bring It On: Eyes On the Prize (Branjie) - Ashley

A/N: This is the last chapter of Bring It On and I just wanna say thanks to everyone who sent a lovely comment my way - it really does motivate. I’ve loved coming back to AQ and writing and maybe I’ll explore that some more in the summer - in the meantime you know I’ll be here reading as much Branjie as you lot wanna give me. Happy bank hol to my fellow Brits and just happy day to everyone else! Hope yous like reading this chapter as much as I liked writing it. Hopefully I can focus more on my A Levels now oops….xoxox Ashley.

Brooke woke to a foreign stream of sunlight forecast across her. Initially, she was panicked, used to her rigid alarms and blackout blinds, the initial unfamiliar scaring her - until she saw Vanessa.

Looking down at her chest she saw the brunette’s head nestled below her shoulder without flaw, slotting into her own body as though they were a lock and key. Two continents bound apart by continental drift now slotted back together with a satisfying alignment. Vanessa’s caramel arm around her stomach, Brooke felt like she’d woken up in heaven, the pair of them entangled in a field of white sheets. Something about seeing the girl who was always on the defence being so serene and calm as she burrowed into Brooke’s body gave her the urge to kiss the top of her head. Brooke didn’t want to leave the celestial city - or the empress who ruled it. She wanted to stay in the clouds with her forever, Vanessa’s bed a safe haven from the outside world.

Like usual, it didn’t take long for the clouds to part and for Brooke to come crashing back down to earth.

The time it took for someone to knock on a door three times if she was being exact.

“Vanessa?” the instantly recognisable tone of Jovan’s voice rang through the room like a panic alarm.

She watched in dismay as Vanessa’s eyes shot open and adjusted to the scene in front of her.

“Shit,” Brooke whispered, leaping out of bed and making a dive for the pile of discarded clothes from the night before.

“Under the bed!” Vanessa mouthed to the girl frantically, pointing her perfectly manicured nails downwards.

About to throw herself under Vanessa’s bed, Brooke stopped in her tracks, seeing a row of red draws where there would normally be a gap.

“It’s a box spring!”

“Vanessa!” he started to bang on the door louder.

“Closet,” Vanessa pointed again - resulting in a deadpan glare from the other girl.

If she’d thought that her life had resembled an Alanis Morissette song earlier then she may as well have thrown on a red beanie and hung out of a car window at this point - bundling her clothes into her arms and plunging into the closet of the lesbian head cheerleader.

“Come in,” Vanessa shouted, her voice still shaky from the near-miss.

Although she felt a twang of pain at the thought of hiding away, as though Vanessa was embarrassed by her, Brooke couldn’t deny that the rush of sneaking around turned her on a little, flashbacks of the night before jolting through her brain and she huddled her knees to her chest and eyeballed Vanessa through the slit in the doors.

“Why are you still in bed - we’re gonna be late!” he picked a sock from the floor and threw it at his sister’s head. Brooke’s sock.

“Sorry, I’ll not be long,” she started to get up and brush her hair, her brother rolling his eyes at her dishevelled state.

“I’ll offer Brooke a lift, I know she’s free first period,” Jovan grabbed his phone to dial.

“Don’t!” Vanessa grabbed it from his hands, quickly glancing at her bedside table where Brooke’s phone was sitting.

“So that’s why she’s been avoiding me,” he snatched his phone back from Vanessa, “You know Vanessa it would be nice if you didn’t fuck around my friends with your cheerleading drama. What was it this time, she didn’t throw you high enough?”

“Something like that,” Vanessa mumbled - Brooke constraining a laugh from inside the closest, the sheer awkwardness and irony of the situation once again making her life a satire of itself in the form of a teenage coming of age flick.

“Well, you better make up soon because I did not buy a ticket to nationals to watch you two scraping.”

“Don’t worry about us,” Brooke could see Vanessa smiling through the gap, visibly excited at the thought of her step-brother coming to watch her cheer.

“Go without me, I’ll head in later,” she motioned for him to exit - Brooke releasing a heavy sigh of relief that she wouldn’t have to be stuck making friends with Vanessa’s shoes for much longer.

Moving out of the closet still semi-naked, Brooke was anything but enthralled by Vanessa’s reaction - scrunching her nose at the girl’s cackles.

“How do you not know what type of bed you have?” Brooke asked the girl, utterly flabbergasted at how they managed to pull the wool over Jovan’s eyes.

“I panicked, it’s what they do in the movies,” Vanessa started to laugh even more until Brooke couldn’t help but join in.

The morning after the night before had always been awkward for Brooke; from the surface, she’d have assumed it would be today but something about Vanessa and her laugh made her feel more at ease than ever, floating above all the unspoken pleasantries.

“Hey, if my ass is big enough to form its own Insta then I doubt it’s gonna fit under there!” Brooke giggled as she pointed to the tiny gap between Vanessa’s bed frame and carpet.

“I’m sorry about that,” Vanessa visibly grimaced, “I just get so defensive and on guard - I shouldn’t have been so rude. I can’t explain it. Like this big fear just comes looming over me, I was petrified everyone would know, that they could see it all over my face,”

“There’s nothing to be scared of,” Brooke grabbed the girls wrist.

There was that fire, back again to swallow her up and cut off the outside world.

“Brooke, you can’t tell anyone about this,” Vanessa dismissed her reassurance, giving Brooke a death glare that made her want to run away afraid and pin her down longingly at the same time.

“I won’t. But you can’t treat me like shit whenever you get scared. And you can’t mess the squad about either, going back and forth with our routine like that so close to nationals.”

Brooke was serious - ever since joining the squad and moving to Tampa those months ago she had channelled almost everything she had into winning nationals; her feelings for Vanessa, her homesickness, her anxieties - they all lead up to that moment and she wouldn’t allow what she had with the girl to mess it up, despite not caring whether it would mess herself up in the process.

“Prom,” Vanessa held a manicured finger to Brooke,

“I need a full promise,” Brooke teased her, raising her eyebrows.

“I promise.”

“I best be going then,” Brooke looked at her phone, wishing she could stay longer but not willing to risk exposure for Vanessa’s sake,

“Yeah, don’t want my brother to think you’ve been held captive by some psychopath.”

“The truth?” Brooke grinned - her heart shattering into a million pieces on the floor at the sight of Vanessa’s toothy smile in response.

“Shut up,” she responded, Brooke proud of herself for out-whiting the sassy cheerleader. “I’ll see you at the fundraiser!”

“Yes, the car wash. The car wash I definitely didn’t forget all about,” Brooke cursed internally and began to text Jovan with a proposal to skip double English that afternoon for a trip to the mall.

“I didn’t,” Vanessa winked as Brooke left.

Shaking her head to herself, Brooke decided that this had been the most clinically insane week of her life. Vanessa kissed her. Vanessa had feelings for her. Vanessa wanted to see her in a bikini. All that had crossed her mind since moving to Tampa, every lustful thought she tried to repress and dismiss as fiction was now beyond belief fact, and Brooke knew she would bask in every minute of it even if it meant lying to the whole world around her.

***

“What about this? It’s kinda Amazon-esque,” Brooke held up a half cobalt, half snakeskin print bikini with high-waisted bottoms to her absent-minded friend.

“I might just go naked,” she tried to get Jovan’s attention as he mumbled in agreement, unable to take his eyes away from his phone; “It’ll save me some money at least!”

Rolling her eyes at his inability to be present, she looked over his shoulder and sighed, “Jacob again is it?” - his head perking up at the mention of the boy’s name.

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded with her, “He is waaay out of my league and I don’t want to seem weird!”

Brooke knew the feeling.

“He’s not and you seem more weird hanging onto your phone every second - let him wait for you,” she snatched it away and shoved the swimwear back in his eyesight.

“Who are you trying to impress with that! My, my mami. Can’t imagine our Canadian princess getting down and dirty in that,”

“No one,” she panicked, Vanessa’s words ringing in her head as she threw the suit back on the rack.

“Get it, I’m kidding,” he picked it back up, “You have the boobs for it and you aren’t in Canada anymore Dorothy. You wanna make enough money to get that extra day pass for nationals and as awful as it seems you ain’t gonna be making it hiding away those twins.”

Turning a deep shade of red, Brooke’s mind couldn’t help but revert back to Vanessa - she figured it wouldn’t hurt to show up to the fundraiser in the bikini to impress her along with making more money. Brooke was adamant that her good intentions certainly outweighed her skewed motive.

***

“BIKINI CAR WASH!”

Like usual, Brooke heard Vanessa before she could see her - always finding something amusing in the contrast between the tiny beautiful girl and her loud gravelly yell. She longed to hear her record an audio book or narrate a ballet - a recording Brooke wouldn’t be able to stop replaying.

Clad in a leopard print kaftan with her dark hair slicked back, Brooke could see the clear frustration in the girl’s face as she tried to draw people into the car wash, taking pride in the quick flash of a smile that ran across Vanessa’s first when they first noticed each other.

“How much we made so far?” Brooke asked the girl, trying so hard to ignore the way in which Vanessa’s eyes did a once over of her body in the bikini.

She still hadn’t fully adjusted to the fact that whatever they had going on was real, that their night together hadn’t just been a fantasy and that Vanessa had felt the same way all along - so moments like this were still surprising her and giving her the urge to kiss Vanessa then and there, her years of disciple training from ballet having the most unexpected use.

“Hardly anything. I knew we should have done something else, I just didn’t want to stray away from tradition. I just wanna make sure we get the best passes,” she started to vent to Brooke whilst she counted the little money they had made.

“We’ll get there,” Brooke smiled as she started to gather her bucket and sponge.

“Maybe the money will come flooding in now we’ve got some snow,” Vanessa grinned at the girl, catching her off guard by throwing a dry cloth in her direction.

Rolling her eyes in the process, Brooke made sure to use her flexibility to her advantage as she bent over for the cloth, earning hollers from the other students around - but there was only one she cared about, the one shaking her head playfully at Brooke; touche.

***

Brooke’s jaw nearly hit the floor when she saw the car in front of her.

Drenched bonnet to boot in mud - she was already having a mini panic attack and examining her nails before even speaking to the driver.

Purple dreadlocks and sharp eyebrows, the girl wound down her window and gave Brooke a quizzical once over.

“You’re an Amazon?” she asked, clearly picking up on Brooke’s different appearance to the squad, something she herself had felt self-conscious about before moulding into the family like nothing was different. The teens in the shotgun and back laughed as they handed the girl a clear bag bundled with cash. Probably the most cash Brooke had seen in her life, she thought to herself as she scanned the parking lot for Vanessa.

“$1000 to clean this thing?” she waved the bag in front of Brooke’s face.

Confused as to what to say, Brooke stood bewildered a moment before Jaren came to her side.

“Vicky, what you doing here? Vanj will flip,” he asked the girl with a gloss of panic on his face.

“I’m here for this lovely girl to wash my car,” she motioned to Brooke who was starting to assemble the missing pieces to the puzzle - before her sat the captain of the Amazon’s rival squad for nationals, Vanessa’s arch-rival.

“She’s not laying a finger on this piece of trash.”

There she was, Brooke’s knight in a leopard print bikini.

The superhuman who protected her from the cruel realities of Earth.

“Hey, miss Vanjie!” The girl waved with a splinter of sarcasm that could impale metal.

“Don’t tell me you’re here to fight,” Vanessa looked down at the girl with her usual fierceness.

“The opposite,” she tossed the bag of money out of the Amazons - green rain at their feet. “I wanna help you get all the funds you need to compete to your best standard at nationals. That way it will be even more satisfying when we wipe the floor with you again, we can win from a level playing field.”

Brooke instantly understood why Vanessa’s nose flared at the mention of the girl, seeing her first start to form a ball in her hand a la Arthur. Her acrylics digging hard into her skin.

Brooke placed a reassuring hand on Vanessa’s arm, slipping a whisper in her direction; “She’s not worth it.”

“We don’t need your dirty money to get on the same level, it doesn’t cost shit to go downwards,” Vanessa kept her cool with a reassuring squeeze from Brooke.

God, Brooke couldn’t wait to compete.

“Take it, don’t take it,” Vicky gave Vanessa an obviously fake smile, “I doubt all the help in the world can get rid of your curse.”

And with that they were gone - Vanessa left a cartoon character with steam blowing out of her ears.

“I’m not fucking cursed,” she started to ball up the money that blew across the car park, gaining attention from others. “We can take all of this to a charity, we don’t need it. It doesn’t matter how many nights we stay at nationals or how new our Pom Poms are, we’re gonna fucking destroy them.”

“It’s okay, she’s just trying to rattle your cage,”

“Well, it worked. I hate the thought of her pitying me,” Vanessa started to run her hands through her hair with frustration. Brooke wanted nothing more to hold them and tell her it was all gonna be okay. “I only did this stupid thing cause it’s a tradition, I’m sure there are better ways of making money than whoring ourselves out washing cars!”

“I’d ask my parents but there’s a reason we moved down here,” Brooke looked down at the floor.

“It’s fine B, we’ve got enough to get by we’ll just have to skimp once we’re down there but it doesn’t matter. We ain’t gonna care what new shit we had and how many days we had passed for once we win,”

“That’s my girl,” Brooke smiled; Vanessa’s sense of determination always sending her head into spins. Her fiery way’s sending Brooke insane.

“You wish, Brooke Lynn.”

She did more than just wish.

***

Brooke couldn’t help but gain a rush from sneaking around with Vanessa. The nights she waited till Jovan was asleep and crept down to the bottom floor bedroom - his new relationship giving them ample time to roam free together. The walks they took to far away parks, buying ice cream and milkshakes - Vanessa was always cherry. The stolen glances they had in practice. It was more than a lust for someone commanding, someone beautiful - it was the way she clung onto every one of Vanessa’s words, the way in which she knew just what made Brooke laugh. It was her vulnerable side, the side she only showed to Brooke. It was all the different layers of her personality in one big ball of sunshine. Around Brooke, Vanessa was irrevocably herself and Brooke was the same.

There was something special about what they had - their little secret away from the world. No one knew about the things they did, no one knew how special Vanessa really was. How she cried at the end of Pocahontas when she waved goodbye to John Smith and chose to stay with her people. How she couldn’t take one bite into a hot pepper without demanding water and screaming at Brooke to help. How she stayed up all night on the phone to Brooke - asking question and question about her old life, wanting to know the girl the best she could, genuinely interested in her stories of ballet and boys. No one knew about them and Brooke didn’t mind because it just felt right - why let the world in when what they had was so perfect just with the two of them. Yes, she sometimes longed to tell the world that Vanessa was her’s, to shout from the rooftops that she chose Vanessa over everything - but she knew in the back of her head that things wouldn’t be the same. That behind the stormy captain there was a small girl afraid of one drop of rain. Although it lingered in the back of her mind that they couldn’t stay this way forever - Brooke knew she would go as long as she possibly could hiding with Vanessa if that’s what it took to be with her - she would wait as long as it took for the girl to be ready so long as she could keep holding her hand, laughing with her and kissing her along the way.

She just didn’t know that their own movie-style romance would be cut short by an ad break they were unable to skip.

“Everyone’s gonna be here soon,” Brooke muffled as Vanessa made for her neck, leaving smooches down to her clavicle as Brooke sat in her tank and shorts ready to practice.

“It’s fine, I told them to come a little later,” Vanessa grinned before kissing the girl.

“Wait,” Brooke pulled away, teasing the girl, “You postponed practice one week from the biggest competition of the year just so you could get something warm between your legs? What kind of captain are you?”

“Well it was just to spend time with you, not sexually driven but if you’re that way inclined,” Vanessa raised an eyebrow and started to kiss Brooke again, deeper, with more passion.

At first, Brooke could tell it had been hard for Vanessa to say things like that aloud, to admit that she wanted to spend time with Brooke, that she wanted her body, but as times progressed she had become more open around the girl and started to throw her inhibitions out the window.

She hadn’t even registered that her top was off, and so was Vanessa’s until they heard it - the almighty boom. The fatal voice.

“Vanjieee!” Silky burst into the room.

Glass shattered. Shelves collapsed. The sound of distant cries rang in her ear.

Her whole world was now upside down and the gravity that once pulled her to Vanessa now pushed her away even further.

“Shit,” Brooke cried, pulling the covers over herself quickly.

Vanessa stayed silent, a blank gloss over her usual heightened expressions.

Brooke didn’t know where her mind had gone, but it wasn’t there.

“Holy shit,” Silky laughed to herself as she looked back and forth between the pair in disbelief. “Vanjie, you rug munching?”

“Get the fuck out,” Brooke avoided eye contact with the girl as she raised her voice, her concern about Vanessa taking over her embarrassment.

“I guess I’ll be in the garden then,” Silky gave the girls another sceptical look before leaving the room.

The door shut in place.

Barely 2 minutes had passed and what had felt like an eternity of the relationship between Brooke and Vanessa was gone with the click of that door.

“Vanessa, it’s okay,” Brooke wrapped her arms around the girl after putting her shirt back on.

“Just go,” Vanessa looked straight ahead - Brooke didn’t know where she was, but it wasn’t there with her.

“You don’t have to be defensive, it’s fine,” Brooke tried to hold the girl’s hand.

“Go,”

“Vanes-”

“Go,”

“It’s not the end of the world, she’ll understand, I l-”

“I can’t believe we let it get this far.”

“Vanessa,” Brooke’s eyes pleaded at the girl, waiting for her Vanessa, her soft Vanessa who smelt like cherries to come back.

“Just go.”

So she did.

She walked straight out of the house and kept walking until she was running, sprinting. Sprinting away from the pain, away from her problems. Sprinting until her legs hurt and she was going to be sick. Sprinting til her chest leapt up and down with each heavy breathe - letting the tears hit the ground like black rain on her wedding day. Sprinting till it was dark and late and she didn’t know where she was. She was scared to stop because once she stopped it was all real and she had to think about it. When she stopped, she was alone.

Her fingers were numb and the streets unfamiliar. Pulling out her phone, she almost called Vanessa as she went onto her recent conversations, forgetting that her usual saviour was the one who had banished the damsel this time. She flicked past her parents, they would ask why she was there, what was wrong. Even though she knew Vanessa would hate her for it, Brooke called the only person she knew that wouldn’t pressure or pry, the only person here who had seen her anxiety at its deepest and darkest.

“Hey girl, I’m kinda in the middle of something,” he hinted to her.

She tried to find the words but couldn’t and let out a panicked breath.

“Brooke, you okay?”

“Just breathe okay, it will pass. It always ends Brooke, it’ll pass.”

Brooke tried her hardest to listen, to home in on his words and let them overpower the negative.

“Just breathe nice and slow Brooke, it’ll be over soon,”

Counting to ten and doing as he said, she managed to find a part of her voice that hadn’t be stolen by Vanessa.

“I don’t know where I am,” fear started to set in more when she said it out loud.

“It’s fine, I can see on snap, okay?”

“Can you stay on the phone?” she asked, trying hard to let anything else take over her mind - a distraction from the voice in her head telling her she wasn’t good enough.

“Yeah, Jacob can drive and I’ll stay on the phone. We’ll be 20 minutes. It’ll be over soon Brooke, we’ll get you some gravy and fries, yeah?”

She could hear some shuffling and muffled conversation, a thank you, the shutting of a door.

“I’ll even let you add the cheese on top,”

“Yeah,” Brooke started to return back to reality ever so slightly - trying hard to breathe naturally and think about the end when things would go back to normal - her voice still hoarse, fighting its way to be heard, that one syllable a small step to victory in her mind.

***

“Oh god, your boy is waiting in the car!” Brooke exclaimed, only remembering after Jovan had helped her return to normalcy.

“I’m so sorry, I interrupted your night and dragged you out here,”

“Don’t apologise,” he shook his head at her, “I’d much rather know you’re okay then get a bit of D. He can wait.”

“Well thanks anyway, for understanding,” Brooke pulled her friend into a hug, grateful to have someone who would help with her without asking what lead her to that state, still weighed down by the embarrassment that came after a panic attack.

“Anytime,” he grinned, “I’ve been meaning to introduce you to Jacob again anyway, I think it might be getting serious.”

Although she was happy for her friend - Brooke couldn’t help but feel a pang at her chest at the thought of Vanessa - the girl she would give the world for telling her to go. Telling her it had gone too far.

“You better not make anything official without making sure he likes our lunch combo first,” Brooke smiled for what felt like the first time in forever as she made her way to the car.

“I guess we can stop at the 7/11 and see what they have,”

“I believe I was promised cheese on top too,” Brooke curled her lip at the boy jokingly - trying her hardest to think of anyone, anything other than Vanessa, about ‘I can’t believe we let it go this far.’

When was too far? Was it when they kissed in the street after Akeria’s party? When Brooke showed up at Vanessa’s window and gave herself to the other girl. When they stayed up late eating takeout, planning routines and Vanessa fell asleep in her lap. When they walked by the river and talked about plans of sailing away together to their own little island away from everyone else. Or was it when Silky saw them. When Brooke went to usher the 3 words she had began to realise she meant more than anything and Vanessa stopped her.

She didn’t know and didn’t want to.

All she wanted was to have it all back - she knew she would keep the secret forever if it meant having Vanessa.

***

Once again, Brooke had thrown herself head first into cheerleading - yes, she wanted to beat the Vixen’s and come first place, but she had a more important prize in mind. She would stop at nothing to show Vanessa what she had let go. Wanting to perform with the girl one last time before she could walk away and drop it - she needed to show Vanessa that she wouldn’t give up that easy. No one told Brooke Lynn Hytes to go and didn’t expect resistance. The past week had been hard, knowing she’d have to spend time with Vanessa in practice, constantly keeping her head down, avoiding eye contact, knowing that if she saw the girls face she would just crumble. She spent most of her time with Jovan, her solid rock there to catch her when she fell - figuratively and literally - she had never been so grateful for all the times he had watched her routine and helped her through, her gratitude only amplified knowing that he himself had never been given the chance to cheer.

She began to doubt even going to nationals however, once she made her way onto the bus there.

One of the school gym teachers greeted her, ticking her off a sheet and giving a generic rundown of the following days; when they would arrive, what time was free, who’d she’d be rooming with. A surge of sadness welled over Brooke at the thought of all the plans she had made with Vanessa. All the talking they had done about their trip had boiled down to this - to sitting at the back of the bus barely making out her dark ponytail above one the seats. They were going to go to sneak away to the rides in the daytime, Vanessa said she wasn’t a screamer and Brooke knew this was a lie. They would share a room on the night and fall asleep in each other’s arms before waking up the next day ready to kick ass with all their competition. The difference in expectation and reality hit an all-time high to Brooke at that moment. She was only just learning how quickly things can do a 180 from their original path and smack her right in the face.

The energy was immense; everyone happy and excited, the moment they had waited for all year was finally coming but Brooke couldn’t help but sulk back and hide away from it all, building her own fort of loss and longing to comfort her. She closed her eyes in a bid to fall asleep despite knowing she wouldn’t be able to; even the top of Vanessa’s head proving to be too much for her.

“You alright?” she felt the seat beside her dip.

No, she wasn’t. Brooke hated the bipolar captain who was too caught up in her own feelings of self-loathing to give a thought to hers. She was also in love with her, but that was neither here nor there, she lied to herself. She wanted nothing more than to go over and slap Vanessa for being a bitch, to show her that she wouldn’t be trampled on by her sparkling white trainers. She also wanted to slip her the tongue. She really really wanted to slip her the tongue.

“Fine,” she told Jay, feeling reassured that someone had noticed her off-kilter demeanour, “Just nervous, you know?”

“It’s natural,” he smiled, “But once you’re in that moment, everyone cheering for you, the judges right there, it’s all in the flow.”

“Thanks,” Brooke responded, starting to wish she’d spent more time getting to know the other Amazons - her infatuation with Vanessa had kind of put them on the back burner.

“Just enjoy yourself - have you been to Disney before?”

“Not my scene,” Brooke responded, and it hadn’t been, or at least it hadn’t been until she’d pictured herself there with Vanessa.

“That’s what everyone says,” he laughed.

Maybe Brooke wasn’t as alone as she thought.

***

“Oh my god girl, get up!” Monet motioned her arms around the room. “We are in Disneyland, it’s your first ever nationals and you gonna tell me you’ve spent all of today looking at these 4 walls,”

“Yes,” Brooke responded bluntly, turning back over onto her side like the sullen teenager she could be.

“Half of the fun is in the atmosphere. You should have gotten yourself down to the Sports Complex - all the teams practising, doing their little talks, ESPN cameras everywhere. It’s mad.”

“I’m just not feeling well,” Brooke looked at her roommate apologetically.

“I call bull,” she shook her head at Brooke whilst pulling out a makeup bag from her suitcase, “There’s a special UCA night at Hollywood Studios tonight. The Vixens are gonna be there so we can psych them out, and have a little fun before the big day too.”

“I’m good,” Brooke responded, the thought of being in a social environment with Vanessa driving her crazy, she didn’t know if she’d be able to control herself face to face with the girl, she just wanted to be out there performing.

“I wasn’t asking!” Monet pulled a blending sponge from the bag, “And I’m doing your makeup, get over here.”

***

A purple lip and smokey eye later, Brooke was starting to get paranoid about standing out as the squad began to gather piece by piece at the studios. She watched as one Amazon after the other came and said hello - until there was just one piece of the puzzle left to be fitted.

“Vanj just texted,” Silky announced, “She ain’t coming,”

Brooke piping up at the mention of Vanessa, Silky only gave her a dirty look as in to say ‘it’s your fault’. She had spent the past week walking on eggshells around Silky, desperate not to get on her wrong side but also longing to pull her aside and ask about Vanessa; what did she say? Is she okay?

As if on cue, Vicky Taylor and her secondary Vixens strutted over to the squad.

“Where’s miss Vanjie? Too scared to fight?”

“What’s it to do with you?” Akeria stepped forward, giving the other captain a stare that would give Cerberus a good scare.

“Hey Jaren,” she smiled and waved, ignoring Akeria entirely, “you decided to move to a better squad, yet?”

Jaren looked down embarrassed, clearly torn in the battle between his friend and team. “I’m good here Vic,” he responded politely, ignoring the taunting nature of her tone.

“That’s alright, my girls can wipe the floor with you either way,” her eyes scanned the group dismissively, landing on Brooke. “You know, I gotta hand it to you, I really thought Vanjie might bring the slightest bit of competition this year, guess I was wrong for once,” she smiled at one of the girls next to her.

If Brooke had guessed where she would be a few months ago - it would certainly not have been having a dissing war with cheerleaders in the middle of a Disney park but she couldn’t help feel a sense of pride and protectiveness over her squad, over Vanessa’s reputation.

“You know if Vanjie was here you’d be quaking in your boots,” Brooke looked the girl up and down sourly, “She may be half the size of you but she has ten times the bite and you know what Vicky, I think you need to find a dictionary and look up the word insecure cause you’re gonna need it when all your smack talk means nothing on the mat tomorrow.”

“Who are you, her lap dog?”

“No, I’m your worst nightmare. And you better bring it tomorrow or you’ll be crying in your sleep,” a confident side of Brooke emerged and the thought of Vanessa being unable to defend herself to the girl. She may have been furious with her, but she understood better than anyone the fights and effort Vanessa had put in to get to this moment, and Brooke would be damned if she let some sly foxes try and take it away from her.

With the flick of her blonde hair, she walked away triumphantly, only wishing she had the confidence to speak up to Vanessa in the same way - to tell her everything she was feeling and more - the good, the bad and the ugly. The nerves she’d felt in her stomach since getting on the minibus were starting to fade away - Brooke once again knew what she was there to do and she was gonna do it right.

***

Brooke couldn’t help but notice the overwhelming smell of hairspray as she walked into the Sports Centre. Everything was bright and colourful - red to the left of her and purple to the right. Girls scattered everywhere in the most organised chaos she had ever seen. Monet was right, something about walking through the building, hair curled and scrunchies in place, not a wrinkle in anyone’s uniform, cameras all around made her feel like she was on the set of a movie.

Backstage ballet was always reclusive, girls sat at their mirrors focused silent. Here, cheerleaders flipped their way across the room, competitive banter being spat across the room like water. Following the teacher from their school, she walked alongside Monet, taking the place in like a little kid in a costume store - drawn by every sequin and bow.

Near the front of the group, she heard Vanessa and Silky mutter in hushed tones - Brooke having spent the night before laying in bed, willing herself not to pick up the phone and dial the number of their room, or walk up there herself. She knew that her words were wasted on Vanessa at this point, all that was left to do was to throw her heart and soul into the routine and let Vanessa know that she was a fighter.

Adrenaline pumped through each and every one of their veins as they waited in the dressing room. Every lace tied, every t crossed and I dotted, the squad had nothing more to do but wait for the competition to start, an angsty Vanessa pacing back and forth between the seats. All Brooke wanted to do was to hold her and tell her she was going to kill it, but once again she knew that the glossed over Vanessa in front of her was not the one she had grown so close to, the fear of rejection taking over the girl completely. She knew that soon the competition would start and they’d be waiting at the sidelines watching the other teams - and then they’d be up there. Months of practice, months of fear, months of love, months of heartache all bundled into 2 and a half minutes. Her parents, Jovan, all the audience focused on them. A shiver ran down Brooke’s spine at the thought of baring her soul to all those people. Even though she’d performed with more emotion in ballet, there was something about the big open space, the way she could see the judges and the audience that she found more daunting than any theatre stage.

“Everyone go run about; get some fresh air, a snack, a drink, have a stretch - we’re no good cooped up in here,” Vanessa announced to the group with her powerful command. Brooke didn’t know if she’d seen her start to get anxious or not but took the break nonetheless - afraid of the dead air that lingered between her and Vanessa, the noticeable heaviness that hung around whenever they were in the same room.

***

3 bottles of water in her arms and waiting at the door, Brooke was growing impatient at the boys’ messing around; “C’mon guys we gotta get back!”

“Lighten up Brooke, you’re so tense, you gotta go out there all loose.” Jaren pulled a face at her before leaping into a back handspring tuck.

And then she heard it, the death-defying crunch.

It almost happened in slow motion, the way his foot twisted one degree extra to the right, all his weight resting on that extra turn. All that pressure cracking down hard on his ankle.”

“Fuck,” he cried, falling to the ground.

Jay ran to his side.

And Brooke ran to the only person she could think of, the hero who always knew how to pull her and the squad out of the murky waters and into the clear tracks.

“You have to come quick,” Brooke half-shouted when she found her, “It’s Jaren, I think he’s broke his ankle.”

And then they were holding hands.

Brooke didn’t even have time to think about the spark because she was jumping at high frames per minute - someone pressing fast forward one, two, three times on her and Vanessa until they were in the room. Paramedics already at Jaren’s side.

“No,” she looked ahead, “No.”

“I’m sorry Vanjie,” he grimaced with shame as he was helped into a chair.

“The fucking curse,” Vanessa crouched down on the floor in disbelief.

“It’s fine we can get everyone around, we can figure out how to do it without him,” Brooke put a hand on her back and felt like she’d returned back to their little safe haven, her fear and resentment for the girl sizzling away when she saw her looking so defeated.

“We entered with 20, so we have to perform with 20. They have that routine on record we can’t show anything else. You can only change who is competing and your routine if you phone like months in advance,” Jay winced at Brooke.

Brooke watched as the tears streamed down Vanessa’s face - heavy tears of frustration. Years of hard work and she had slipped at the very last hurdle.

“What if we had 20,” Brooke asked, looking pleadingly between the two of them, wanting desperately to make things right for them, to make them right for Vanessa.

“People can’t compete on two teams, and you’re not gonna find some secret cheerleader hidden about who can learn our routine within the hour,”

And the missing piece of the puzzle all clicked into place in Brooke’s head.

“I’m gonna fix it,” she knelt down to whisper to the girl she loved, “I’m gonna fix it all.”

***

“What?” Jovan looked at her blankly, His parents and Jacob either side giving Brooke equally quizzical looks.

“Please, Jovan. Not for me, for Vanessa. You know how hard she’s worked, how much this means to her,”

“I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“You do, think of all the times you’ve helped me practice, watched us in your yard. We have an hour,”

“I don’t exactly scream enthusiasm though do I,” he looked at Brooke, highlighting the flaws in her plan - but she didn’t mind because this was her only chance.

“I know you used to when you first auditioned. Now’s your chance to prove to those stupid bitches what they missed out on and to stitch up that open wound with Vanessa,”

“You owe me like a thousand favours,”

“Thank you,” she pulled Jovan into a hug before grabbing his hand and practically dragging him towards their dressing room.

***

The tension in the wings was undeniable. Everyone had spent the past hour giving it their all, showing Jovan where to stand, who to hold, how to present himself and their routine was now a ticking time bomb that could blow at any minute. Any wrong step would put them at an automatic point disadvantage compared to the Vixens who they had just watched perform flawlessly.

They all huddled together, Vanessa giving the usual pep talks and chants, but Brooke could tell she was scared, she could see the anxiousness in the other girl’s eyes, watching her looking back at Jovan as he went over all the steps in the wing.

They made eye contact across the group, and Brooke was surprised to see a smile from across Vanessa’s face; a hopeful smile; ‘oh, there you are’ it read.

Brooke gave a reassuring smile back; ‘I’m always here for you.’

She watched as Vanessa made her way towards her and just stood in silence, looking at Brooke.

Brooke felt a familiar twang of reassurance. For one of the biggest performances of her life that she had stressed about so much, at that moment, in the wings with Vanessa, she was completely calm.

“Your parents have come to watch you,” Brooke smiled at her, knowing what it meant to Vanessa.

“Jovan told me,” she smiled up at Brooke. God had she missed waking up to that toothy grin.

Before Brooke could begin to respond she blurted out to her: “I fucked everything up Brooke,” sincerity in her voice, “but I’m not gonna fuck this up. This is the last thing I have”

“You gonna bring it, Vanessa?”

“I’m gonna bring it, Brooke Lynn.”

And then they were running out, the energy vibrating through her ears, the crowd going wild.

This moment was Brooke’s and no one would take it away from her.

“The R. A. Charles Amazons!” The announcer bellowed as they pumped up the crowd at the start of their routine, adrenaline seeping through every pore.

And then the music started.

They all started to walk backwards before flipping around - Vanessa front and centre, Brooke could see her shine.

They moved like parts of a finely tuned design. Not a wasted through, not a toe across the line. She looked around the group, Jovan killing every move, Vanessa flying higher than she’d ever seen her before. Brooke knew that second place was no such category. She pushed herself further and further into every tumble, emphasised every beat that little bit more. At that moment, it wasn’t just Vanessa who she thought was superhuman, she was starting to think it about herself. She looked the judges in the eye as they added their quirks, making eye contact as she grand jete’d her way across the floor, as Vanessa did a death drop between their routine.

Brooke could see Jovan beaming through every move, smiling more than she even figured was possible for him to smile. A satisfying warming formed in her heart at the thought that he had finally found his dream again years after it was tossed aside.

By the end of the two minutes, the crowd were roaring for them and everything with hazy for Brooke, surrealness taking over.

She felt someone grab her hand as they all ran to the edge of the boundary, throwing their arms in the air and cheering for the crowd, showing that spirit that they all possessed.

Brooke was elated, with Vanessa’s hand in her own, she was grinning from ear to ear and wasn’t even trying to but when she looked to her side she noticed that Vanessa looked more serious like she was thinking about something.

“I love you.”

Brooke did a double take, about to ask her what she said over the roaring crowd.

And then Vanessa grabbed the back of Brooke’s head and kissed her. She kissed her in a way of telling the world ‘this girl’s mine.’ She kissed her with an apology, with regret. She kissed her with happiness, with cherries. She kissed her with all the build-up from the past few months. She kissed Brooke with the look she’d given her that day in the canteen, the time in the kitchen. She kissed her with everything she had and Brooke gave it all in return. She kissed like she didn’t have a care in the world what people were thinking of her because none of that mattered when she was in Brooke’s arms.

Brooke didn’t know and didn’t care how the squad and the crowd were reacting, because all she cared about was Vanessa.

She didn’t care whether they had come first or not, because she knew that she had her prize either way.

She didn’t think all those months in that car journey that she’d be a cheerleader let alone be in love with one, but she knew that this was right, she’d finally figured out what she was there to do.

“You really brought it, Brooke Lynn,” she smiled at her as they pulled away, tears starting to well in her eyes.

“I learnt from the best didn’t I?”

It was true. Vanessa was all of the best parts of Brooke bundled into a little dark-haired firecracker - and she was finally ready to be open and burst into flames for everyone to see.

“Maybe next year we can do this trip how we planned it?” Vanessa asked.

Next year. Brooke’s heart just about melted. How we planned it.

“We still have tonight!” Brooke pulled the girl back into another kiss as they made their way off the floor.

She knew they had tonight, and the next night, and every night because Vanessa “Vanjie” Mateo loved her and she wasn’t going anywhere.

She knew that whatever battles they faced, the two of them were now going to face them together, telling anyone who dared to cross them to bring it on.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #yvie oddly #branjie #high school au #lesbian au #cheerleader au #angst #bring it on #ashley #submission #s11

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the-wlw-cafe · 6 years

Text

Lena Luthor Fluff A-Z

it’s not the angst that I promised, but here we go.

A = affection (how affectionate are they in day to day life? Do they show affection publicly or keep that more in private?)

If you were to look up the phrase ‘touch starved lesbian’ in a dictionary, Lena’s picture would most certainly accompany the article. She doesn’t dare to show much affection in public for fear of making you end up on the first page of all of National City’s gossip magazines, but she can’t keep her hands off of you in private. She is constantly playing with your hair, intertwining your fingers or just mindlessly drawing patterns on your skin, as if you were her life line making sure she doesn’t drift away.

B = best memory (what is the best memory they have with you)

The first time you told her you loved her. She hadn’t dared to tell you first, her self-hatred was just that strong. Before you told her, there wasn’t a single day where she didn’t second guess herself, thinking you would eventually find someone else and realize that she didn’t deserve you. You, of course, took it upon yourself to destroy every last piece of doubt in Lena’s mind, again, and again, and again.

C = cat or dog person

I can totally picture Lena with a pair of fancy greyhounds.

D = dreams (what do they want to do in life?)

It’s clear as day that even though none of it is her fault, she carries a heartbreaking amount of guilt for the crimes her family has committed. She just wants to find a way to absolve herself of all the harm her family has done, and do something good with that cursed name of hers.

E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? So they go out? Do they read?)

Lena isn’t the best at taking care of herself, so it’s not an uncommon occurrence that she mercilessly overworks herself until she falls asleep at her desk. You have to frequently remind her to take it easy and treat herself to a nice meal, a good book, a relaxing bath and a full night’s sleep. She not-so-secretly loves spending evenings at your place, since her own apartment, expensive as it may be, never really felt like a home to her.

F = first date (what was it like?)

Poor Lena was totally overthinking every detail. She wanted to treat you to something nice, but she also didn’t want to come off as if she was flaunting her money. She took you out to a very fancy restaurant, where you sadly didn’t even manage to get past the appetizers before very disrespectful paparazzi tried to take candid pictures of Lena Luthor’s lesbian lover and you were forced to leave. Lena was apologizing profusely for supposedly ruining your first date, assuring you that she wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see her again...you had to cut her off with a kiss. After that, you decided to make it a lazy night full of takeout, mediocre movies and falling asleep on the couch.

G = giggle (what is their laugh like? What makes them laugh?)

Lillian Luthor made sure to chastise Lena for every laughter that wasn’t a pleasant, ladylike giggle hidden beneath the palm of her hand, which is why it is seldom to really hear her laugh unabashedly. But when she does, it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard, and also surprisingly deep.

H = hugs (do they like hug? What kind of hugs do the give?)

Touch starved as she may be, it takes Lena a while to acclimatise to being able to be as affectionate as she likes, but as soon as she does, her hugs turn from short and sweet to an almost desperate cling to you. She never wants to let you go.

I = instrument (do they play an instrument?)

Lillian made her take up lessons in playing the violin, the piano, and the harp. She despises all three of these things with a passion, even though she will admit that she would probably have enjoyed playing musical instruments if it hadn’t been her mother forcing her to perform flawlessly.

J = joy (what brings them joy in life?)

You. On days where she can’t find a reason to try anymore, when she just wants to drink herself into a stupor, she thinks of you. You are her strength and her reason to keep fighting.

K = kisses (what kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

Nothing in heaven or Hogwarts is better than Lena’s kisses. Be it a quick, chaste goodby-kiss before she has to head off to L-Corp, passionate, almost needy kisses when you’re in private, or lazy, languid kisses in the morning.

L = love (how do they act when they have a crush)

It takes Lena a long time to even admit to herself that she has a crush. She flip-flops back and forth between smooth flirting and romantic gestures (you might just find your office filled with flowers), and guiltily finding more and more ridiculous excuses to see you. She may have perfected her facade of the unflappable business woman, but somehow you always find a way to get under her skin.

M = memory (what’s their favourite memory?)

None of her childhood memories are particularly pleasant, especially now in hindsight, as the only person she ever saw as a friend has turned out to be a murderous psychopath, so every good memory of hers involve you or her new friends in National City.

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

She can’t stand surprises. She always has to plan ahead, and surprises always tend to screw up her perfect plan.

O = occupation (what’s their dream job?)

It’s always been Lena’s dream to become a scientist, to help make the world a better place with everything her mind has to offer, and she’s still working on that, but she can’t abandon L-Corp, not now, when she’s already changed it so much for the better.

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

It would take some time for Lena to warm up to the idea of being a parent, not because she doesn’t like the idea of having children, but because she is terrified that she will end up like her mother. But as a mother, Lena would be wonderful, because instead of letting her mother’s influence corrupt her, she makes sure that her children can always feel safe and loved in their home. There will be no raised voices and no passive aggressive comments, no malice and no pressure on her children as long as she’s around.

Q = questions (do they believe in the super natural? Aliens? Anything along those lines)

Lena doesn’t believe in the supernatural, because if definite proof for it could be found, it would simply become natural, maybe in a way we would never understand, but natural nonetheless.

R = romantic (are they romantic during the relationship?)

Romantic is Lena’s second middle name, right after Lutessa. Flowers? Sent. Fancy chocolates? Ordered. Picnic on a private beach? Get in the car, her chauffeur will drive you there.

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail)

Your smile is so contagious, it never fails to make her smile. She loves seeing you happy.

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

Her duties as a CEO are very taxing and take up a lot of her day, but after every hard day, she longs for nothing more than to come home to you, hold you in her arms and never let you go.

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable)

Her constant self-doubt is unbearable for you, as in you simply can’t bear seeing her putting herself down like that. And no matter how hard you try, there are days where nothing you say or do can cheer her up, and all you can do is assure her that you will never leave, in good times or in times like these.

Lena knows you mean well, but because she’s not used to someone caring so deeply about her, your efforts to help her out of her negative mindspace can seem smothering to her.

V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

Lena doesn’t take many photos, because she has no doubt in mind that she can commit every second with you to memory anyways. She’d rather not ruin a quiet moment by forcing it onto a picture that will never be able to say as much as the real moment. Her phone lockscreen, however, is a silly picture of you kissing her on the cheek on a whim in the midst of a selfie.

W = wedding (what was the wedding like?)

It’s a spur of the moment thing. One minute you’re huddled together on the couch in a fancy hotel room, exchanging slightly tipsy and clumsy kisses, the next minute the words “marry me” have somehow slipped past your lips without authorization by your brain, and now that they’re in the open, you find that you don’t actually want to take them back.

Lena doesn’t take it seriously, at first. “Oh, you mean right now?”, she grins, her voice shaking with mirth.

“I mean it”, you reply, “marry me. Please.”

And her mouth drops open.

So yeah, it may have been a slightly drunk spur of the moment decision, but you don’t regret it one bit. That is, until Kara finds out that she wasn’t there when you two finally tied the knot, and it’s the first time you’ve ever seen her legitimately pissed off at you. You decide to renew your vows on your second anniversary, and you make sure Kara gets a front row seat this time.

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?)

Lena actually prefers the taste of beer to that of wine – her go-to poison of choice is of course scotch, but she really can’t stand the sour taste of wine.

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, sent, word anything)

Cracking knuckles is the worst sound ever to her, to the point where she will give you the silent treatment if she catches you doing it.

Z = zzzz (how heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep? What mood do they wake up in? Really any sleeping headcanons)

Lena Luthor is the littlest of spoons and you can fight me on that. She isn’t used to sharing her bed with someone, however, and on bad days you touch can be overwhelming, but when she’s in the mood for cuddling she loves to fall asleep with your arms wrapped around her.

#fluff alphabet #supergirl #supergirl headcanon #lena luthor headcanon #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor fluff a - z #wlw imagines #wlw #lena luthor x reader

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: [fam christmas woooo when you ain't talked to your sister in 4 months either just to make it more awks] Rio: [what a fun time for all, when you are constantly on your phone so much 'cos Ryan won't stop messaging you and wants a play by play Buster: [he'd be drunk before he even got there ffs boy] Rio: [when it's that point in the evening when everyone is playing stupid games tipsy and you just cannot so you go hide in the kitchen] Buster: [let's say he bumps into her literally cos yeah what you need is another drink boy] Rio: [when you literally jump back like 'oh'] Buster: [when you do the thing peeps do to me & go twenty miles out of your way round her] Rio: ['Don't fall, McKenna'] Buster: ['Only for you, babe' too drunk & voice too loud] Rio: [When you swipe his drink off the counter 'fore he can stop you can take a sip and put your finger to your lips like 'shh, idiot' and hand it back to him, shaking your head] Buster: [When you down that drink so you have to get another & be in there longer] Rio: ['tis the season' when even when you're talking you're constantly on your phone and not that bitch and they love eye contact but she's not smiling like 😍 it's more like 😑] Buster: [when you take her phone before she can stop you & put it down where she can't reach it] Rio: [the lowkey panic in your eyes that you try to mask, 'Come on, don't be a dick'] Buster: ['Don't be rude'] Rio: ['Your territory, I know'] Buster: ['You trying to come for my crown now?'] Rio: ['Maybe' trying to move a chair to wherever he's put her phone] Buster: ['Antisocial is closer to the other twin. Try harder' Lifts her up so she can get it cos drunk & shameless] Rio: [When you stop breathing 'til you're back on the ground and then you breathe out so heavily, 'You wanna be social now? Party's in there' points to the lounge] Buster: ['Hopeless romantic is more her thing too' throws the words over his shoulder as he leaves cos he knows about the bf through stalking them socials] Rio: What are you talking about Buster: You love him Buster: It's cute Rio: It's not even been a month Buster: Moving fast is more of a lesbian thing, like I said, Nance will either be thrilled or threatened Rio: Talk to her and see Rio: though you've definitely got better things to catch up on than my dating history Buster: Put your phone down & try it yourself Rio: I see her every day Buster: Run out of shit to say then? Understandable Buster: Probably don't tell her that though Buster: So rude Rio: I'm not trying to take away from your sibling bonding time Rio: soz Buster: You can't take something that don't exist Rio: It exists, you both just choose to ignore it Rio: least it's mutual though so Buster: Nah, it's been scratched out the schedule instead of penciled in Buster: Still siblings no time to bond Rio: Hmm Rio: you're SO busy, yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: Lovely Buster: Not the word Rio: Not so miserable I'm here to listen to the 'stresses' in your life, tah Buster: Never said it was negative, I just don't use old lady vocab, like Buster: You sound like a teacher Rio: 🙄 Rio: Now you're gonna chat shit on my vocabulary, alright private school Buster: I am a pleasure to have in class if you wanna let my parents know Rio: That was the whole point, remember Rio: how would I know Buster: Play really well with others too but probably don't let 'em know how you know that Rio: You'll be wanting to delete that, I presume Rio: surprised you've even got the balls to talk to me at all Buster: How many convos did you start? Buster: I weren't expecting you to jump out of a cake but a happy birthday would've been polite Rio: Likewise Rio: Expecting or fantasizing, you'd have to make a booking Rio: not showing up uninvited, heaven forbid Buster: Mine was first, babe & I ain't never pretended to be that Rio: So if I'd have said it to you, you'd have returned the favour Rio: You're so childish Buster: We'll never know now Buster: What I might've said Buster: Or gifted you Rio: Save it up for sweet 16 Rio: maybe you'll be allowed to talk to me then Buster: Maybe I'll show up in time to stop the wedding Buster: Fingers crossed you don't get knocked up like your mum Rio: Shut up Buster: Only so much your good looks could do to beat the odds of it being an ugly kid Rio: What would you know Buster: Flawless + Fuck ugly = you're right I don't know Buster: Don't wanna Rio: You've never even seen him Rio: don't be so judgmental Buster: Wrong again, babe Buster: Factual more like Rio: Well I clearly don't think so if I love him so much, do I Buster: That'll be all the cum in your eye Rio: So mature Buster: They don't age check on those vids, it's fine Rio: should run a basic IQ test on you Rio: someone who claims to be such a pleasure in class, like Buster: I've done one but I know you hate when I brag about numbers Rio: That's universal Rio: no one but your hanger-on mates wants to hear that Buster: Your friend loved it, she thinks hers is lucky Rio: I'm glad you found someone officially more stupid than you then Buster: That's universal Buster: Applicable in every case, like Rio: Sure she loved being told that too Rio: such a bullshitter Buster: We didn't do that much talking Buster: Once I'd told her what to do, not much else left to say Rio: Why are you still talking Buster: Why are you still replying? Rio: Gotta be on my phone ain't I Buster: Not in this convo though Rio: Well you're blocking my notifications Rio: you'll pussy out soon enough and be gone Buster: Well I'm drunk. Mute me Rio: Take some responsibility for yourself Rio: you always want me to do everything Buster: So you don't want a line then? More for me Rio: That explains why you're talking so much shit Rio: go on then Rio: have to be here so Buster: [brings it to her cos gentlemanly] Rio: [goes off to the bathroom, 'cos learnt something about getting caught, humming white christmas like] Buster: [lols] Rio: Cheers Buster: Merry Christmas Rio: Merry Christmas, Buster Rio: [bringing the baggie back, assuming there's plenty to go around here] Buster: [does his off the kitchen counter cos wants to be where she is] Rio: [rolls her eyes but licks a finger to clean up the excess and sucks it off] Buster: [is 😏] Rio: ['still like danger, do you?] Buster: ['Don't you?'] Rio: ['Obviously'] Buster: [picks her up & puts her on the counter cos throwback & is standing between her legs like close af 'good to know'] Rio: ['How gone are you?' cos what else can you say rn] Buster: [whispers 'depends who you ask' in her ear and puts a finger to his lips like its such a big secret okay boyyy] Rio: [lols, 'thanks for inadvertently answering my question there' but is just looking at him still like #conflict] Buster: [reaches round her to take her drink cos left his in the other room] Rio: ['oi!' pouty face] Buster: [rather than just giving her it back like a normal person, feeds her the drink like this is crepes 2.0] Rio: [into it.com, 'sharing is caring today, huh?'] Buster: [a nod because so much eye contact so much tension who can speak] Rio: [when you're so close now your phone is the only thing between you and then it goes off and you shit yourself] Buster: [angry.com idk whose house they are in but blatantly walks off & punches the wall in potential full view of the fam cos coke ain't your friend boy] Rio: [when you gotta go outside to have that call 'cos not only not wanting him to hear but everyone tbh] Buster: [when everyone's like umm wtf buster but you ain't having it so you storm out & are also outside but the front while she's in the back] Rio: [when every convo is like talking him off a ledge 'cos he's that bitch do not need this Ryan, even a little bit, going back in finally to get a drink 'cos 1. need and 2. hoping he's had the same idea] Buster: [when you're just having a meltdown lowkey] Rio: I'm just sending this in case you want anything but me to fuck off Buster: I can't Buster: Want anything but that Rio: I'm sorry Rio: genuinely Buster: Don't Buster: Just fucking do not Rio: What can I do Rio: tell me and I'll do it Buster: Nothing Rio: that's what you need? Buster: Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, fucking none of it Buster: *Look Rio: Okay Rio: I will Rio: I'm not gonna give out totally empty promises it'll be hard but I will Buster: [When you just yeet like where do you think you're going at Christmas babe] Rio: [Later] Rio: Tell someone where you are Buster: Why would I do that? Buster: & Why would you ask me to? That's a broken promise already Rio: That's what I do Rio: I'm a shit person, like you don't know by now Rio: but they're gonna go out looking if you don't soon so heads up Buster: Let 'em, I don't care about ruining their fun in case you didn't know by now Rio: Alright Rio: if you don't wanna stay where you are Buster: Why? Rio: Know they'll find you Buster: No, why do you love him? Rio: Honestly? Rio: I don't, you can believe that or not but I don't Rio: I'm just trying, you know Buster: I believe it, if only 'cause I want to Buster: That & I've seen him Rio: Alright 😂 Rio: it's not all about looks, general statement, not a declaration of love Buster: He's got that good of a personality, yeah? Rio: Well Rio: said I weren't it love with him, didn't I Rio: he's alright but it really don't go much deeper than that right now Buster: There's no chance he knows that Buster: Unless he's just that chatty with everyone Rio: Yeah Rio: he's a lot Rio: just that type, you know Buster: Do you want me to chat to him? Buster: I can be a lot Rio: Don't think that means you should be besties Rio: it's fine though, honestly Rio: I can handle him, and whoever else Buster: Alright Rio: are you Buster: Don't ask me questions you already know the answer to Buster: You ain't meant to even be talking to me Rio: Yeah Rio: just want the answer to be different Rio: can't be acting surprised, notoriously bad at keeping any kind of promise, and leaving you alone Buster: Maybe Santa will bring you what you want next year, babe Buster: Don't waste your birthday wish though Rio: 🤞 Rio: Sure some other fucker's got to the wishbone too Rio: keep an eye out for shooting stars Buster: Do my best Buster: Any less isn't an option, like Rio: Nah Rio: what can I say if you don't? Rio: see, best gift of all yeah Rio: room to breathe Buster: I know that ain't yours to me, someone's fucked with that tag Rio: Yeah, I just got you socks but worth trying to claim it Rio: you got me Buster: Socks have their uses Buster: Cold feet or otherwise Rio: Yeah, think of me whenever your feet are cold Rio: 😂 Buster: Obviously Rio: Where are you then Buster: You're not getting an invite Rio: Just curious Rio: Anyway, with you gone and them out looking, I've got the drinks to myself now so tah Buster: Shame it's not the house Buster: That'd be worth coming back for Rio: Stay gone a few hours more maybe the search party will include rugging up all the kids Rio: keep you posted on how special you are Buster: Cheers Rio: it's just your da and granddad Rio: which I did point out probably wasn't the best team when assumedly you've found a pub that's open Rio: might have to stop for a pint, even if you ain't Rio: rude not to Buster: & I had my money on mum & Nance, gutted Buster: The fan club's a fucking sham Rio: shit state of affairs, honestly Rio: where's janis when you need her Rio: sure she'd find you Buster: Only if you'd started searching first Buster: & Were about to find me Rio: That would've been a well good excuse Rio: just tryna find enlightenment it's okay Rio: my ma would buy it and she's the nosiest so Buster: There was a ticket to Heaven on offer so Rio: should've come on the search, like Rio: knew I'd fuck up the talking one so reckoned I could at least go a day or two without looking Rio: if I played it right Buster: I still haven't been found Buster: If you wanna do the honours Rio: Hide and seek Rio: what do I win? Buster: I told you not to ask when you already know the answer Rio: Okay Rio: wish its me that finds you 'cos awkward if it's them Buster: I don't need hope or wishes, remember Buster: Neither do you Buster: Not for this Rio: Okay Rio: no cheating, I'll know Buster: I swear Buster: Head boy's honour, like Rio: are you actually head boy now Buster: Did you actually think I wouldn't be? Rio: Didn't doubt you for a second Rio: hot Rio: in a nerdy way Buster: I'd have brought the badge if I'd have known you were so into it Rio: I know this christmas was going pretty shocking but you've really ruined mine now Buster: [sends her a pic of him when he was wearing it] Buster: You bring me problems, I offer you solutions Rio: 😍 Rio: If you ever go proper missing, make sure they use that Rio: well inspiring Buster: I can do better, but they can't show that level of inspiring on the news Rio: not even the 10 o'clock one Buster: Probably keep 'em your eyes only, babe Rio: Fine by me Rio: I wanna be the one to find you anyway Buster: I want you to Rio: Lemme sniff this out Rio: did you have your keys on you Buster: I always have my keys on me Rio: if you've gone home that's so funny Buster: You know I'm hilarious Rio: Your dad is Rio: if we wanna keep ruining the festivities tell your mum how dumb he is Rio: be a hoot Buster: Will do Buster: Hold on Rio: Alright? Buster: Depends who you ask Rio: Well if you've had an empty house this whole time and you're only just telling me Rio: don't know if this is even you tbh Rio: convincing serial killer maybe Buster: I just needed Buster: That breathing room I got as a mystery gift Rio: Makes sense Rio: I don't have to come Rio: if you still wanna be left alone, I won't tell Rio: they can worry a bit longer Buster: You do have to Buster: I wanna be alone with you Rio: I want that too Rio: hold on Buster: Okay Rio: Promise you'll take my phone away when I get there Buster: If you promise not to tell anyone that I think my hand is fucked Rio: How fucked Rio: like, if you show me how to strap it we can do that or sneaky trip to A&E fucked Buster: Like I can already hear the lecture about punching walls instead of bags Rio: We'll sort it Rio: I won't tell anyone Buster: Thanks Rio: doesn't mean I don't get to fuss though Buster: Such a mum Buster: I ain't got that many issues that its a turn on for me, you know Rio: Shut up Rio: so rude Buster: You're cute Rio: 😒 yeah and as unsexy as a mum Buster: You couldn't be unsexy if you tried Rio: swear you got just enough issues? Buster: Talking about them would take all night Buster: But so would what I'd rather do Rio: Well Rio: think they'll clock before then but Rio: take whatever time we can get Buster: Well then I swear I'll make it worth it Buster: Even if we have to be quick Rio: Jesus Rio: I know it'll be worth it Rio: how could it not be Buster: Yeah, but you don't know how worth it yet Buster: You will Rio: You too Rio: I swear Buster: Tell me this is actually fucking happening this time Buster: I need you Rio: It has to Rio: 'cos all that's happening is I'm caring less and less about the risks and more and more about just making it happen Buster: I know I'm drunk but I never cared about anything but this Buster: I don't Rio: We're both drunk but it's still true Rio: I can't stop, Buster Rio: whatever the fuck this is Buster: You don't have to Buster: Be with me, that's all I want Rio: I'm coming Rio: I'm sorry but even if your family walks in at this point I ain't fucking stopping Rio: I'm so sick of not getting what I want Buster: I can't not give it to you Buster: Everything you want Rio: You Rio: that is all I want right now Buster: I'm not even offended that you don't reckon I'm everything Buster: Easily proved wrong Rio: Exactly Rio: show me Buster: Fuck Buster: Say that again Rio: Show me, baby Rio: I want you to be everything, 'cos you're all I can think about Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: Hurry up & be at my house for fuck's sake Rio: you know I live in the middle of nowhere Rio: [cos figure cali gaff has the most space so logic they'd have been there] Rio: it's the biggest cockblock, modern day princess in a tower basically Buster: 😂 Buster: I'm surrounded by princesses all day, you ain't Rio: Bit rude but I've been called worse Buster: It's the opposite of rude the way I mean it Rio: Let you off then Buster: Don't you know that you're on another level? Buster: Doesn't he tell you that in all those texts you get? Rio: He says a lot of things Rio: I'd be lying if I said I was always tuned in, like Buster: Of course not, like you said, I'm all you can think about Rio: Literally Rio: it's stupid Buster: Nah, 'cause if it was it'd be shared stupidity & I'm too smart for that Rio: 😂 Rio: very self-serving, but I'll take it Buster: Plus, I fucking hate sharing Rio: I know Rio: but you know you don't have to with me Rio: not really Buster: You're gonna dump him, yeah? Rio: I can Rio: we can talk about that later though Rio: what we wanna do for the rest of the time and all that Rio: don't think about it right now Buster: I can't think Buster: Not properly Rio: Then don't Rio: you know I want you more than anyone else right now Buster: Yeah Buster: More than anyone else ever Rio: Yeah Rio: Whatever it is Rio: I know I ain't felt it before Rio: wanting someone so hard all the time Buster: Me either Buster: Wanting someone this hard Buster: Never mind all the time Rio: I know it's crazy Rio: but I don't care Rio: can't Buster: Folie à deux, like Rio: You and your French obsession 😏 Buster: I had to learn to kiss somehow, you didn't teach me shit Rio: You wouldn't let me Rio: so NOT a pleasure to have in class Buster: You could've made you move any time Buster: Including before I was dared to make mine Rio: You take the piss enough that I was in love with you without that Rio: you'd have been even more unbearable if I had, like Buster: No Buster: I only was 'cause you made me do it & then it went like that Rio: I didn't dare you Buster: You didn't have to Buster: Don't act like there weren't loads of chances before that Buster: You could've took one Rio: Better late than never, ain't it Rio: be there in 5 Buster: Of course Buster: Be here now though Rio: Could hardly ask for a lift like hey, think he's here but give me like 15 alone, k dad Buster: Can't your boyfriend drive? Perfect way to dump him Rio: Yeah that'd go well Buster: You'd soon forget all about him Buster: We don't need 15 minutes for that Rio: Not gonna time you, like but Rio: hold you to it Buster: You don't need to, give me one second & you won't remember his name Rio: Fuck Rio: I'm so ready for this Rio: for you Buster: Show me Buster: I'm done waiting Rio: [when you show up and see 'em like hell no] Rio: This is beyond an actual joke Buster: [when you can't even answer cos you're beyond angry like if you thought he was mad before peeps] Rio: Fuck this Buster: [later cos you have to deal with them] Buster: Meet me tomorrow Rio: I can't Rio: we go to see my da's family Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: I know Rio: can't get out of it though we stay over Rio: there's no way they'd let me stay home Buster: When are you back? Rio: 30th Rio: you're staying for new year's eve, aren't you Buster: Barely but yeah Buster: My flight's next day Rio: We'll make it work Rio: they'll all be so gone Buster: We're gonna have to, it ain't no commuter flight this time Rio: Yeah Rio: you're so lucky Buster: Not how I feel right now Rio: No, me either Rio: really not in the mood, they're all in my face constantly Buster: My dad's lucky he ain't going to A&E Rio: Not condoning that but I could've easily jumped 'em myself so Rio: this is bullshit, swear they left us alone constantly as kids Buster: I'd lift you up, babe. Teamwork Buster: & Yeah, you can swear to that 'cause they did Rio: 😂😍 Rio: #goals Rio: getting my own place as soon as I can Buster: See, I do play well with others Buster: Come to London, I'm always on my own there Buster: Fucking typical Rio: I will Rio: and you can't be mad because that's an invite Rio: however casual Buster: Mad ain't the word Buster: You're always trying to put the wrong ones in my mouth Rio: Don't make my mind go there Buster: If your mind is anywhere else, tell me how you did it Rio: it ain't Rio: but your mouth specifically now Buster: Shame my mouth ain't specifically where it wants to be Rio: Shame ain't the word Rio: for a white boy you got really good lips, you know Buster: I know Rio: ugh Rio: be here Buster: I'm here, that's all I can do Rio: I'm glad we're talking Buster: You missed me, yeah? Rio: You know I did Buster: Tell me Rio: I missed you loads Rio: I thought about you all the time Buster: You're not gonna go see that lad now are you? Rio: No Rio: he wants me to but I don't have time anyway Buster: Don't. I didn't turn you on for his benefit Rio: I don't want him Rio: you don't either, okay Buster: Okay Rio: Not today Rio: you were mine Buster: I still am Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: it feels so good saying your name Rio: I wanna say it for you Buster: Call me Rio: [does, 'cos you gotta do something poor bastards] Buster: [you deserve this lads] Rio: [when even this is gonna be fire] Buster: [literally better than anything I could ever do] Rio: That was Rio: I feel a bit better now Buster: If you think you feel good now, wait until NYE Rio: I don't wanna wait Rio: but fine Rio: try my best Buster: I don't wanna either but I do wanna make up for lost time so behave & I'll make you cum for every day you've had to Buster: Hold me to it Rio: Damn Rio: you're really daddy, huh Rio: 😇 Buster: It's not that high of a number yet Buster: You can be impressed when I make the offer after being away for ages Rio: You better Rio: gotta have some incentive to come back, right Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm so jealous Buster: Put your teacher voice on & come with Rio: 😏 I'll get the 'fit Buster: I look forward to seeing it Rio: You're there to actually learn, babe Rio: maybe I'll tutor you, if I have time Buster: You're saying you don't have enough to teach me full time? Disappointing Rio: Plenty Rio: 'nuff to take it stateside Buster: Start packing then Rio: When we going Buster: Why not now Buster: Fuck it Rio: That's what I need Rio: you, distance from this fam and a place no one knows us Buster: Exactly Rio: One day Buster: Hold me to it too Rio: Can we stop doing the thing where you leave and we don't talk for months now Rio: like, it's exhausting pretending I hate you and don't wanna fuck you, you know Buster: I have to leave, but yeah, we also have to talk Rio: I know you're going Rio: I mean like I see you for a week or something and then that's that 'til the next family function Buster: I know what you mean Buster: It's not like that's how I want it Rio: Why'd it always end up happening, like Buster: What can I say? Buster: What do you want me to? Rio: I ain't blaming you Rio: it's both of us Rio: just, let's not let something happen between now and when you go so you won't talk to me alright Buster: Whatever happens, I still wanna Buster: It's not that black & white though, is it? Rio: nah Rio: I dunno Rio: we got separate lives to live Rio: obviously, and that's cool Rio: but idk why that means we have to end up hating each other Rio: like it is black and white, all or nothing Buster: I can't hate you Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: alright, pretend then Rio: you're quite convincing sometimes Buster: Well I need to be Buster: Sometimes Rio: Yeah Buster: Just don't break my fucking heart, yeah? Buster: Simple Rio: Why would I do that Buster: All or nothing Rio: that's not how I want it either, I'm telling you Rio: we can do better Buster: Obviously Buster: I can always do better & you always keep up Rio: 😏 Rio: thanks Rio: I think Buster: It's a compliment Buster: Nobody else can Buster: Not that I've found yet anyway Rio: Maybe you'll find yourself an American girl who can Buster: Maybe Rio: just don't get married Rio: can only deal with the accent for so long Buster: Before I've done uni & got a career? My mum would kill me Buster: She'd turn up with a shotgun to stop it, fuck encouraging it Rio: 😂 Rio: Nance is the hopeless romantic, I remember Buster: Good Buster: I don't do repeats never mind wedding vows Rio: Never? Buster: Like I said, they can't keep up Buster: I'm not running a charity Rio: You are funny Buster: I'm also too good at it to be having shit hook ups Buster: Tell your friends Rio: 🙄 Rio: No one's forcing you, to my knowledge Rio: so don't think you can complain Buster: I ain't Buster: You asked & I answered Rio: I did not ask you to specifically tell me how good anyone is Rio: let alone people I know Buster: I haven't Rio: Come on Rio: I know what that comment implies and about who Rio: not seen her for ages anyway so can't say I'm heartbroken over her, like Buster: I'm just saying for future reference, let you friends know that anyone can always do better Rio: It is truly amazing anyone wants to sleep with you Buster: They don't want to talk to me Buster: I told you it ain't easy Rio: It ain't hard Rio: stop flattering yourself for a sec, babe Buster: Start flattering me then, babe Rio: 😏 Buster: Can you really not meet me tomorrow? Rio: I really wanna Rio: but we leave so early Buster: You should go then Buster: Sleep Rio: but Buster: I know Buster: But I'll be there, won't I, you always dream about me Rio: Hmm so you reckon Buster: Come on Rio: You Rio: don't you wanna offer to make me sleepy? Rio: amateur Buster: Sleepy ain't the word Rio: I don't reckon you can get me to pass out from there but alright Buster: You don't? Rio: Nope Rio: don't feel bad, like 😉 Buster: Answer your phone & do exactly what I tell you, let's see how we both feel then Rio: [does, duh] Buster: [opened pandoras box here lads] Rio: [least you can do this to your hearts content no matter where y'all is, 'cept when Ryan is around, which is sadly too often] Buster: [god bless technology especially the waterproof phones of the future] Rio: [defs a thing] Buster: [they should fall asleep on the phone together though] Rio: [deffo]

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eve-did-nothing-wrong · 5 years

Text

just. thinking

sometimes i’m conflicted on my beliefs. my devoutness comes in waves. i was always a very female-centered christian which i know sounds insane to some. but it’s like... focusing on god as genderless or female (yes, you can do this), focusing on mary and female saints (as a woman, i see myself in their stories and experiences). i always had a firm belief that eve did nothing wrong, and this was the foundation of my feminist religion. i remember arguing with a priest about this in catechism when i was 13, lmao. insisting that god gave us free will for a reason, and that (s)he wants us to make our own choices. that eve gave us the gift of knowledge (that she was the vehicle through which god gave us the gift of knowledge). without knowledge, we wouldn’t have free will, because... we wouldn’t be informed enough to make choices.

so i never felt like a bad feminist going to mass. especially because i’m anglican/anglo-catholic, not roman catholic (so i’ve never experienced religious homophobia or sexism in my family’s own religious community - our bishop is a lesbian feminist who leads “pilgrimages” on the appalachian trail in the summer and takes diocese priests to dc to protests. we’d have lgbt priests come speak during june. etc). but i also really tend to not go unless i’m in a bad place. i pray the rosary habitually when i’m depressed, but when i’m happy, i don’t think about it. i go to mass when i’m depressed because i know it’ll make me feel better and it might be the only time i leave my room that weekend. but i’ve had plans every weekend this term and it’s been harder to motivate myself to get up on a sunday morning when i’m already happy and don’t need cheering up.

but because i come from such a liberal religious background, i’ve also always had the belief that you don’t have to be a christian to get into heaven. as long as you’re a good person, you’re in the clear. so i’ve also never really had a drive to go to mass beyond when i’m feeling down. because i’ve never believed that it or any other Act Demonstrating Your Belief is going to make or break your salvation

the fact that i haven’t been to mass in weeks is a sign of how happy i’ve been over those weeks

but also when i don’t go, i don’t believe as much. maybe because i have less reason to, because i don’t feel so much like i have to search for a reason to live. i don’t pray. i don’t read the bible. i don’t think about god much at all.

but i also... keep believing. i may not be practicing it so much, but i feel so... looked out for, when i’m happy. lately, a lot of really, really fortunate things have happened that have saved me from total misery. i barely got out of bed all day today, and because of that, i put myself into a massive essay crisis. my essay was due this afternoon. i did not write it, because i had no energy or motivation and felt like i didn’t have any knowledge. and i got an email from my tutor, saying that our tutorial tomorrow is cancelled. so i don’t need my essay to be done for another week. through no effort of my own, my crisis resolved itself. and this kind of thing has been happening to me a lot, lately. just, really lucking out in situations where i felt powerless (even if i didn’t need to feel powerless in the first place). and my friendships have improved, my future looks brighter, and my relationship is going SO well that i’m barely even dreading the year of long distance ahead of me (i love her so much, and she loves me so much). so it feels like someone is looking out for me. and that makes me believe. that i am unconditionally loved, even when i’m not being a Good Christian Girl. i’ve spent so much more time lately “sinning” (doing things i wouldn’t consider a sin but many do - like sex, or binge drinking on a night out) than praying but i am still loved, and cared for.

tl;dr I don’t always know what or if i believe, and because of that, i go through phases where i’m very very nonpracticing - i skip mass, i don’t pray at all. but some part of me always continues to feel god’s love, and i feel cared-for and looked-after.

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marvels-writings · 4 years

Text

Genesis

youtube

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist

Requested by: @xxxtwilightaxelxxx : HEEEELLLOOOO hope you are doing superb :D I saw the song requests so, I'm bad at listening to songs but I heard this song and it sounds like quite a good one for this so, may I request Genesis by Dua Lipa with Wanda and a long one please :3

Word Count: 1,802

A/N: I think this is the only song I’ve heard before in my inbox rn.

‘In the beginning

God created Heaven and Earth

For what it's worth, I think that he might've created you first,’

You hummed the lyrics, your back on a mat as you stargazed with Wanda. She had to leave for a week-long mission tomorrow. So, you wanted to make the best of the time you had till then, which resulted in a blanket fort on the roof of the Avengers compound.

Music, snacks, and stargazing. Wanda loved it. She lay down next to you, her head rested on your shoulder as she looked up at the stars. You started pointing out the constellations.

Though, you didn't tell her you had memorized all of the information an hour before to impress her. So far, your plan to impress her and get her to like you was working.

’Just my opinion

Your body is the one paradise that I wanna fly to

Every day and every night’

Video chatting Wanda in the middle of her mission is not your best idea, but it was far from your worst. The witch loved waking up and seeing your texts proposing a Skype call to cheer her up. You had heard how hard the mission was. You wanted to see her happier.

Your calls and texts helped her mood every single day. She wanted to take the first flight back to you.

’I've been sick and tired of running

Chasing all of the flashing lights

These late nights don't mean nothing,’

You weren’t sure what you and Wanda were. Both of you were close friends, but you both felt more than that. Wanda flirted with you more often than you’d care to admit. You returned the flirting, but neither of you were sure what you were.

After Wanda got back from the mission, she was more touchy with you. Flirting at almost every chance she got. It confused you, you didn’t know if it was just friendly flirting or if she wanted to be with you, romantically.

She had spent the night in your room, cuddling.

But it turned into your first kiss with her. It felt like everything you had ever imagined and more. Her arms around your neck, pulling you impossibly closer. Your hands snaking around her waist, keeping her close to you.

Everything felt perfect.

’So I just wanna apologize

I'm sorry, so sorry

I'm sorry, yeah’

Apologizing for your behavior to each other had become the norm at this point. You argued often about your relationship, you had wanted a relationship with her. But Wanda wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t sure if she was good for you or if she was ready for a relationship

The witch had never been in a relationship before. She knew she loved you, but it scared her. Everyone she had ever loved had died or left her. Wanda didn’t want the same for you.

This wasn’t your first argument about this after Wanda had finally admitted her feelings for you. You wanted to announce your relationship. But she refused.

’I need your love

And I'm dying for the rush

'Cause my heart ain't got enough’

Dancing, you spun Wanda around in circles on the floor at one of Tony’s parties. After you’d seen a few girls flirting with her, you’d quickly grown possessive and pulled her away from them. Wrapping your arms around her waist, you pressed your front into her back and started swaying to the music.

Both of you noticed the rest of the team staring at you and exchanging money, probably on a bet they had made. Rolling your eyes, you squeezed Wanda’s waist and turned her around.

Wanda wasn’t sure what you were doing, but she didn’t want to stop you. Your body against hers felt too good, it felt right. She didn’t have the heart to pull away from you. Though the witch wasn’t sure if she ever wanted to leave you, and it was scaring her.

’I need your touch

This is getting serious

Tell me that it's not the end of us’

Neither of you wanted this to end. The touching, the kisses, the attention. You loved everything about her, but relationships were complicated. Wanda didn’t want the rules, the complications associated with being in a relationship. She wanted you, but she didn’t know-how.

You knew things would get complicated when you tried to initiate a relationship. But you didn’t expect it to get this complicated. More often than not, you found yourself in your bedroom, Wanda laying on top of you. Staring at the ceiling, you found yourself wishing you could go back to the beginning.

When you first met, before you fell for her and everything got complicated.

’How can we go back to the beginning?

Without you, I've got no air to breathe in

How can we go back to the beginning?’

Running your hand through your hair, you sat down on the bed. Wanda had been arguing with you on coming out with your relationship. You wanted to come out to the rest of the team, but after seeing the press blow up on the dance you had with Wanda. It made you rethink everything

If you came out with Wanda, you’d become a weakness. Agents from every single mafia and organization would target you to try to get to Wanda using you. The witch didn’t want you to get hurt because of her. Even though you could defend yourself, Wanda was too scared of losing you.

’Don't matter what's written

We can start all over again, all over again

Oh, how can I get you all over my skin?’

After suggesting you try to announce your relationship at Tony’s party, Wanda started to distance herself from you. Taking missions when you were supposed to spend time together. Disappearing abruptly whenever you were near her.

The missions were weighing her down, being away from you was taking its toll on her. She missed you, missed going into your room because she couldn’t sleep, missed your hugs, your kisses, everything about you. It was driving her crazy to stay away from you.

Whenever she saw you, the brunette wanted to pull you into a hug and tell you everything that was happening. But she couldn’t, she saw the pain in your eyes whenever she pulled away. Wanda couldn’t apologize for trying to keep you safe from her.

It was driving you crazy to be so far away from her. You’d gotten too used to being near her. You didn’t know how to fix it either.

’My deep intuition tells me that I'm doing you wrong

If I don't come home

Just say you forgive me and don't let me go’

After a month of her charade of staying away from you. She broke, knocking on your room in the middle of the night with tears streaming down her face. You pulled her into your room, listening to her frantic apologies. Wiping the tears away from her face with your hands, she whispered frantic apologies, her hands holding you close to her.

It surprised you when she pulled you in for a searing kiss, her lips moving over yours hungrily. But she pulled away as quickly, apologizing and trying to give you your space even though it was tearing her apart.

’So I just wanna apologize

I'm sorry, so sorry

I'm sorry, yeah’

You hugged her, holding her close, running your hands through her hair. Wanda relaxed into you, your touch sending sparks of electricity through her. Everything about you felt right. You felt right.

‘I need your love

And I'm dying for the rush

'Cause my heart ain't got enough’

You needed her, whenever she was gone, you felt hopeless. Nothing seemed to amuse you, you forgot to eat, drink, and trained more often than you needed to. The rest of the team saw this and tried to cheer you up. But all you wanted was Wanda.

’I need your touch

This is getting serious

Tell me that it's not the end of us’

Wanda wasn’t sure what was happening anymore. She knew she loved you, unconditionally. You loved her back, everything seemed perfect. But every time you tried to turn it into a relationship, it barreled into a disaster. Dates always felt like you were just close friends.

‘You know, I roar like a lion

For you, you know I'll keep trying 'til the sun stops rising’

But neither of you wanted to stop. You loved her too much to leave her, so you kept trying. Over and over again, you were getting tired of it. Wanda needed you with her, but she saw how much this was exhausting you.

Trying to get away from you didn’t work.

Every time she tried to leave you, she found herself making her way back to you. Finding comfort in your arms, your touch. She needed you.

’How can we go back to the beginning?

Without you, I've got no air to breathe in

“How can we go back to the beginning?” Wanda asked you.

You shrugged, playing with your hands in your lap. Smirking, you got up and held your hand out.

“Hi, I’m y/n, y/n y/l/n and it’s great to meet you,” You introduced, Wanda laughed, rubbing the mascara stains off of her cheeks.

“I’m Wanda Maximoff and the pleasure is all mine,” Wanda giggled.

You kissed her forehead and sat down next to her, taking one of her hands in yours and stroking the knuckles of it. Both of you were tired of everything. But you still had each other, it was all either of you needed.

Buy me a coffee?

A/N: I’m really sorry but I didn’t know how to make this longer, really sorry about that. Tell me what you think tho!

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @5aftermidnight, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart , @never-didbefore , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @wlw-imaginesss , @hcartbyheart , @summergeezburr , @imnotasuperhero let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

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khadij-al-kubra · 6 years

Text

Can I Bar-row Your Attend-tion (ch3)

Pairing: Roman/Patton

Characters: Roman, Patton, Logan, Virgil, Thomas, Joan, Talyn (some OCs)

Word Count: (who’s she? never heard of her? XP)

Summary: Roman and Patton are two bartenders at a local bar & grill with some serious chemistry. However, the only people who don’t realize it are each other, and one of them is in a relationship…on the rocks.

Author’s Note:

Hey friends! What’s this? Two chapters in one week!? Don’t get used to it, sadly. I want to get content out ASAP, but my work schedule sucks. For now though, here’s the next chapter in the Bar & Grill AU, and I am SO thankful to see all the positive feedback so far and am happy you’re enjoying it! If you’d like to be in the tag list for future chapters in the Bar & Grill AU or other works by me, let me know. And as always feel free to leave a comment in the messages or reply if you have any notes or constructive critiques. I’m always open to writing advice. Enjoy!

<--PREVIOUS

Chapter 3: Premium Chemistry, Shaken not Stirred (POV- Roman)

It was a slow Tuesday night at the bar & grill, just a dozen of regulars either having dinner at the tables or drinks at the bar. The Sanders’ employees were by no means slacking on their jobs, yet there was an air of comfortable easement. Which suited Roman fine. He’d just come from another long rehearsal before his shift and frankly it had left him in no mood to be overly charming to any new faces tonight. Fortunately for him, Patton was patient enough to listen to him vent.

“…And THEN Fred—you know, our Angel? Ugh, I can’t believe I have to kiss him—anyways, he goes and tells everyone my idea but then just rephrases it differently and takes credit for it. If that wasn’t bad enough, they all go along with it and tell Fred what a great idea he had, especially our stage manager Kiersten, or should I say Kier-satan! Curse that little lesbian Lucifer—I swear those two divas are in cahoots—but it was MY idea in the FIRST place! UGH I can’t stand them! I may also be one of the hot popular leads in the cast, but at least I’M not a jerkity-jerk-two-faced-jerk…Gaghhh, I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore!”

“Roman, take it easy! I know you’re upset but you’re starting to spill,” said Patton.

Indeed he had overfilled one of the glasses and now there was a small puddle on the counter. Good thing it was just club soda from the nozzle and nothing expensive.

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” he said as he fixed the last drink. “Here’s your Old Fashioned, Sal. Just like you.”

“Thanks pal,” said the mustached contractor with a wink.

“And your third Shirley Temple, Imani. You might want to slow down there.”

“Very funny Roman,” said the hijabi. “Save the over dramatics for your rehearsals.”

“I am NOT being over dramatic…not this time anyway,” he pouted, wiping up the spill he’d made with a wet rag.

“Of course you’re not,” said Patton, patting his shoulder sweetly.

Very few things could take even an ounce of enjoyment out of theatrical experiences for Roman, but lying diva cast-mates was one of them. Sadly, he’d been cursed to work with two. In the last few weeks of rehearsals Roman had come to befriend most of the cast and production team. However Fred had proven himself to be an entitled actor that only gave the time of day to his own clique, and Kiersten was—for lack of a Patton approved word—a bitch who was fake nice to everyone only to subtly undermine everyone else’s opinions, even the director! Roman absolutely hated people like that!

“Hey Patton,” said Lizzie, another regular, from the other side of the bar. “Can I get a gin for me and a whiskey sour for my lady love here?”

For once Lizzie was in a black dress and not her usual EMT uniform. Beside her was a curly haired woman in a rose pink dress that complimented her olive skin-tone perfectly. Yas queen, Roman thought. At least someone around here was getting lucky in the love department.

“Coming right up Lizzie! Goodness, it is so nice to finally meet you Maya,” said Patton, ambling over to his customers.

“You know my name?” asked Maya looking pleasantly surprised.

“Oh of course! Lizzie talks about how wonderful you are all the time.” Then Patton gasped loudly. “Is that an engagement ring I spy? CONGRATULATIONS you two! Here, have a celebratory cookie. Aw heck, have two! You deserve it.”

“Thank you,” they said, smiling as Patton handed them each two mini chocolate chip cookies from his apron stash.

As Roman watched his co-worker he couldn’t help but silently gush. This was the thing he loved most about Patton- how sincerely kind he was. The bespectacled angel never put on airs or had ulterior agendas. There wasn’t a single catty bone in the cat lover’s huggable body (ironic given how allergic Patton was to cats). If he listened to or remembered a little detail about you, it was because he genuinely cared about you as a human being. And for Roman, who worked in the competitive and often shady world of theater, that was a rare and beautiful quality in a person.

Everything about Patton was beautiful.

“I think that spot there is clean enough lover boy,” said Sal, his mustache twitched in a smirk.

“Right. Thanks Sal—wait, what do you mean lover boy?” he asked.

“Listen, Ro,” Patton said coming back over. “I understand why you’re so upset and your feelings are completely valid. But you can’t let people like that get you down and ruin the whole experience for you. That’s how bullies like them win. You get along with the rest of the cast, right?”

“Yes, they’re fantastic,” he said. “Our Mimi and I have even become good friends.”

“Aaand your director is nice and fair, right?”

“Very. He’s downright brilliant.”

“And you’re having fun being part of this show, right?”

“Of course! RENT is an institution!”

“Then that’s all that should matter! Just do your best, ignore the rest, and remember to have fun with it!”

Roman chuckled at Patton’s dad-like gesture. So adorable.

“I suppose you’re right Patton. It’s just frustrating. I can’t stand deceitful people like that. They really get under my skin! ...Anyways, enough about my drama. How are you Patton? Anything new in your life?”

For some reason Patton seemed surprised by the question. It’s not as though Roman wasn’t interested in the other’s life. In fact, he was very interested in it. Wanted to be a part of it even…part of his world. Now is not the time for mental Disney references, Roman. Then Patton beamed. Dear lord, its like he was made of sunshine.

“I’m doing pretty great actually,” said Patton. “In fact, I’ve started volunteering at the local animal shelter on my days off. It’s not Veterinary school, but pretty close enough.And I still get to help cute little animals.”

Of course he would spend his rare free-time helping others. He truly was an angel sent from the heavens. ‘That’s wonderful Patton! I’m happy for you, truly.”

“Thanks Roman. That…means a lot to me.”

“And how’s it been with my temporary replacement?”

“Not bad. He gets along with the customers well enough, although he can’t hold a candle to you.”

“Well of course,” Roman waved his hand dramatically. “I’m basically Lumière.”

Patton giggled. “Actually, aside from looking alike, you wouldn’t think Remy and Logan were related. He’s a lot more laid back. Although he does have a habit of showing up late for work, and I think he might have a bit of a coffee addiction.”

“A bit?” Lizzie called from across the bar. “Please, that guy probably has more coffee in his veins than blood!”

Roman laughed. “Coffee can be pretty addicting. That’s why I switched to drinking chai lattes. They certainly taste a lot better too.”

“Huh. Interesting…”

For some reason Patton seemed to be staring at Roman’s mouth. Good lord, did he have something in his teeth? He turned his head away to slyly check. Phew! All good.

“Well at least one of us is getting along with our new co-workers. Unlike me,” he grumbled. Stupid Fred. Stupid Kiersten.

“Aw Roman, isn’t there something I can do to cheer you up?” asked Patton.

“I doubt it, but I appreciate the gesture Patton.”

Roman sighed, propped his elbow on the table and rested his cheek in hand. As much as he loved being in RENT rehearsals it was taking a chuck out of his treasured time with Patton. Now not only was he forced to deal with two diva bitches, but also someone else was having time with his Patton, probably falling for him just as much as Roman had and waiting to make a move. What if Remy charmed Patton enough that he’d actually break-up with Dio for the guy? What if he was more Patton’s type, more worthy of the sweet man’s love than him? What if his replacement was more handsome than he was!?

Wait what am I thinking? There’s no one more handsome than me. Still… Suddenly there was a staccato tapping on his shoulder. Roman turned from his musings to see Patton grinning at him. The man was practically vibrating with giddiness.

“Can I just, say something crazy?” he asked.

At this line Roman shot up like a meerkat. No. He’s not… Patton wiggled his eyebrows at him conspiratorially, biting his soft looking bottom lip in excitement. He is! Roman did a quick sweep of the bar & grill to make sure there was no sign of Logan. Lenient as their friend boss might be, he’d never let them get away with an impromptu Disney number while they were supposed to be working. Luckily Logan wasn’t around. Probably still in his office. Good.

Roman gave Patton his most dashing smile. “I love crazy!”

“All my life has been a series of doors in my face

and then suddenly I bump into you,” Patton sang.

Roman joined in on cue. “I was thinking the same thing! ‘Cause like,

I’ve been searching my whole life to find my own place.

And maybe it’s the party talking or the chocolate fondue.”

“But with you,” Patton did a slide to the right.

“But with you” Roman slid to the left. “I found my place.”

“I see your face.”

On ‘face’ Patton lightly booped his nose and then stepped out from the bar. Roman followed suit. They had more room to move with and around each other.

“And it’s nothing like I’ve ever known before!

Love is an open door!

Love is an open door!”

Roman knew that Patton could sing, having hummed Disney songs together before, but he’d never had the pleasure of hearing it in full. Patton’s lovely tenor voice blended perfectly with his own baritone vocals. They even nailed the harmonies!

“Love is an open door!”

“With you!” Patton pointed.

“With you!” Roman pointed back.

“With you!”

“Love is an open door.”

Roman couldn’t help laughing out loud. Patton’s joy and whimsy truly were infectious.

“I mean it’s crazy.”

“What?”

“We finish each other’s—

“Sandwiches!” Thomas shouted from over at the kitchen window, holding a plate of club sandwiches.

“That’s what I was going to say!” Roman called back indignantly.

Then he felt Patton pulling him by the hands to the center of the room as he skipped backwards. “I never met someone”

“Who thinks so much like me!”

“Jinx! Jinx again!” The two grinned as they nailed the pinky swears.

“Our mental synchronization

Can have but one explanation.”

“You”

“And I”

“Were”

“Just

Meant to be!”

Perhaps spurred on by the theatricality of the moment (definitely not his secret feelings), Roman dared to take Patton’s hand and wrap his arm around the other’s waist. Then he led Patton into a waltz. It was a bit sloppy but in a silly lighthearted way. He adored the flustered look on Patton’s face.

“Say goodbye”

“To the pain of the past.

We don’t have to feel it anymore!”

In the back of his mind Roman knew that they were drawing attention to themselves but he didn’t care. Only Patton was in his world in that moment, and thus his world was bright and joyful and perfect. Patton was perfect.

“Love is an open door!

Love is an open door!

Life can be so much more!”

“With you!”

“Love is an open doooor…” Patton finished the song with a giggle. God I love this man.

Suddenly the place was filled with applause. Roman swore he even heard someone whistle from the kitchen. It wasn’t very loud given that there weren’t many people at Sanders’ tonight, but the energy was certainly boisterous enough to match even a full house. For some reason, Talyn was handing money over to Joan. Even Virgil seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and was clapping as he leaned against the wall. Where did he come from? I swear that guy is like a shadow sometimes.

That’s when Roman realized he and Patton were still holding onto each other. They were face to flushed smiling face. So close he could see the pure honey color of Patton’s eyes. Roman could lean in, feel just how soft those sweet lips truly were if he wanted to, and dear lord did he want to. So far yet so…close…

STOP! STOP! HE’S TAKEN YOU IDIOT! The flaring red alarm in Roman’s brain brought him back to the reality of the situation. Roman stopped himself and settled for just smiling at Patton. Way too close Roman. You nearly ruined the best thing you have with the best person in your life. Dio doesn’t know how lucky he is.

“Just KISS already ya goofballs!” Dakota shouted from across the room.

Terrence shut him up by smacking him on the back of the head form the table opposite him, but it had already been said. It was out there now, spoken to the universe. Roman’s entire face was burning and his co-worker was just as red beneath those freckled cheeks he wanted to kiss so badly. Oh great! You’ve embarrassed him! He immediately let go of Patton’s hands, laughing it off awkwardly. He already missed the warmth of those soft gentle hands. If only his heart would stop fluttering.

“Ahem.” Oh no.

Roman slowly turned around to find Logan standing there. His arms were crossed, his face stone-like, and yet to Romans surprise he didn’t seem angry. In fact, he would swear there was an amused glint in his dark eyes.

“Well. That was quite the performance. Highly unprofessional in this setting,” he said, adjusting his glasses.

Patton stepped in front of Roman, arm held out protectively. “It was my fault Logan. I was the one that started singing. Roman had a really bad day and everyone was already taken care of. I just wanted to cheer him u—

Logan held up a hand, and Patton closed his mouth with a pop. “However…given that it is nearly empty in here, save for our regular customers and they all seemed to enjoy the show…I shall let it slide this one time.”

“Wow. Thank you Lo—“

“Just don’t make a habit of it, or else it’s dish duty for the both of you.”

Roman gulped, picturing all those burnt cheese encrusted pans. His nails would never survive. “Understood specs.”

“Excellent. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there is a shoebox full of bank statements in my office that need organizing.”

Logan walked away with an almost giddy smile. He really is a happy little nerd at heart. Roman shook his head fondly as he and Patton returned to the bar.

“Nice little show you put on,” said Virgil, suddenly standing at Roman’s end of the bar.

“Gah,” Roman jumped. “We really need to put a bell on you, shadowling.”

“Hi Virgil!”

“Sup bro?”

“Need me to place an order for you?”

“Nah don’t sweat it. I already asked Thomas while you guys were having your Disney mania moment. You two were getting pretty cozy at the end there.”

Roman’s ears felt hot again and he shot a panicked look at Patton. The fatherly figure either hadn’t heard that last part or was pretending otherwise. How DARE Virgil embarrass his own stepbrother like that! Wait, is he blushing too? Is that a good sign or a bad one? Okay, just play it cool Roman.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous, Cruella de Virgil. Patton was only trying to lift my spirits after an arduous rehearsal, which he did as always. Uh-I-I mean-like you always do with any of your friends! Nothing special or non-consensually romantic about it!”

Roman laughed weakly but thought he’d played it off well. Patton no longer looked embarrassed at least. Although…his smile seemed a bit off.

“Yep! Just helping out a…friend,” said Patton.

“I do feel better now. Truly,” said Roman. He covered Patton’s hand with his own and gave a reassuring squeeze, knowing how much the man loved physical affection. “Thank you for lifting my spirits Patton. It means a lot.”

“Anytime Roman,” said Patton.

“I hate to interrupt fellas,” said Sal, “But we’re out of beer nuts here. Mind getting some more?”

“Woops! Sorry ‘bout that kiddo,” he said to the older gentleman. “We should have another can of them in the supply room somewhere. Be right back.”

Roman watched the pseudo padre practically prance to the back storage, unable to ignore how good those khaki jeans looked on him from behind. He felt ashamed at his having the male gaze but DAMN IT ALL, how could a man be both sexy and cute at the same time? That’s not FAIR!

“Geez, you do have it bad, don’t you Princy?” said Virgil.

“Whaaaat? Pshh me? Have feelings for Patton? Knowing full well he’s my co-worker and already taken? You-you impude my honor! I-I do not secretly…love…Patton…”

“Falsehood,” said Logan passing by with a box in his hands.

This had Virgil and pretty much everyone else seated at the bar in a guffaw. He shot them all dagger eyes but even he knew this was a weak response. Heck, if the cyborg had picked up on the feelings he’d tried to hide then clearly he hadn’t done a very good job. His shoulders sagged in defeat.

“Is it really that obvious?” he asked.

“YES,” They all answered.

“Subtlety isn’t exactly your strong suit,” said Imani.

“That’s true,” he sighed. “Wait, you don’t think Patton—

“Don’t worry bud, he doesn’t know. I love my brother but he’s about as oblivious as you are dramatic.”

Roman gave a fake-offended gasp, but even he knew it was a gesture weakened by his relief. Thank goodness Patton was still preoccupied in storage. Come to think of it, he’s been going back there a lot lately…I hope he’s okay. Probably just sneaking off to text his boyfriend, the lucky bastard.

“Seriously though,” Virgil said, “you really should just kiss him already. Or at least tell him how you feel. You know, carpe diem and all that.”

“Virgil…I’d be lying if I said doing either of those things hasn’t occupied my every waking daydream since I met that beautiful man!” Roman sighed loudly, setting down the towel he’d thoroughly wrung out. “But I don’t dare to risk ruining our friendship if he doesn’t feel the same.”

“Some risks are worth taking. And that’s coming from the guy who won’t risk going outside if there’s even a slight chance of scattered thundershowers.”

“But…your tagger symbol is your initials inside of a storm cloud.”

“The irony doesn’t escape me.”

“Besides,” said Lizzie, “I don’t think it’d be too big a risk since Patton clearly feels the same about you.”

“Wait, wha-what?” A glimmer of hope rose up in Roman chest.

“Hey, what the heck Lizzie? I have a bet going on!” Imani shouted from the other end of the bar. Wait, what bet?

“So do I sister!” Lizzie playfully stuck her tongue out at the Muslim woman then kissed her fiancé.

“Wait, wait, back up! What the heckity-heck with five abs in one peck—

“That’s a visual,” said Virgil.

“—makes you think Patton could possibly have feelings for me? Are you certain? Did he say something to you?”

“Well no, not in words per se. But he sure does show it pretty darn clearly,” said Sal as he took a swig of his drink. Then he held it out, silently asking the bartender for another.

“How so?” Roman asked as he mixed another Old Fashioned.

“For one thing he gets real touchy feely with you. Always going in for hugs and squeezing your arm and the like.”

“Patton’s always like that. He’s a very affectionate man.” One of his most endearing traits, Roman thought.

“True, but with you he’s extra,” said Sal as he took his drink.

“Plus, whenever you show up for you shift, he gets super bubbly,” said Lizzie. “Even by Patton standards.

“Not to mention you two just fucking waltzed around the room together,” said Joan as they passed by with two orders of nachos.

“Aaand he sang a Disney song just to cheer you up,” said Talyn as they brought Terrence and Dakota their checks.

“And don’t forget I grew up with the guy,” said Virgil. “I recognize his puppy-love face and he definitely gets it around you.”

“But,” said Iman with a resigned huff. “You want to know the biggest tip off? You are the only person here who he never calls kiddo.”

Roman’s mouth was opened prepared to protest, but this last bit of evidence took the wind right out of his chimes. He couldn’t remember Patton ever referring to him by his favorite fatherly term of endearment. Did that truly mean he saw Roman as more than a friend? Could he really be lucky enough to have somehow earned the affection of someone as kind, beautiful and wonderful as Patton Cline? Could the light of his life truly see something in him worthy of loving? If that’s the case then maybe Roman did have a chance! Maybe they could be more than friends, maybe—

“I…I can’t.” Roman signed, shoulders slumping with lost hope. “You’re right, I should be honest with my feelings. And perhaps what you say about Patton may be true. But there’s one glaring obstacle you’re all forgetting about; he already has a boyfriend. An awful creepy one but nevertheless…he is taken. And as much as I hate my snake-faced rival, Dio is the one Patton has chosen to be with. Not me...which means that is what he wants most.”

Roman did his best to swallow back tears threatening to make a jailbreak from his eyes. “So long as that is the case, I will not disrespect Patton’s choice by coming between them. That would be dishonorable of me and unfair to Patton. And I love him too much to ever do anything that could possibly hurt him.”

He could practically feel all of their eyes on him, but none of them said anything. They merely turn back to their drinks or meals. Roman was glad of it. He didn’t think he could handle them trying to convince him otherwise. He was more than willing to suffer in silence if it means doing right by the man he loved.

When he looked up at Virgil though, his best friend, there was a look of understanding in the artist’s eyes behind his bangs. Perhaps even respect.

“Fair enough,” Virgil said.

“Order up Virgil,” said Thomas.

He held out the to-go bag, for once leaning outside of the kitchen doors instead of the windowsill. The cook was giving Roman a look of sympathy. Had he been eavesdropping between orders?

“Thanks Thomas,” said Virgil grabbing the bag. “I already had Logan ring up my bill when I came in, so I’m just gonna duck out.”

“Okay. See you next time then. And Roman…hang in there buddy.”

Then the young cook retreated back into the kitchen. Yep. He definitely eavesdropped. Surprise, surprise. Was everyone in Sanders’ privy to the Chilean soap opera that had suddenly become his love life? Or lack thereof.

“For what it’s worth Roman…I’d be cool with it.” Virgil scratched the back of his neck beneath his hood. “I think you’d be really good for my brother.”

“Wow...Thanks Virge,” said Roman, humbled by the anxious man. “That really means a lot.”

“Whatever,” Virgil scoffed. “Just know that if you do ever break his heart, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

Roman chuckled. “Believe me Dark Knight, I’d kick my own ass first before I let that happen.”

“Good.” Virgil put on his large headphones and two-finger saluted him. “Later.”

Roman watched his friend leave Sanders’ and looked through the glass window as Virgil parkoured away, his black clad figure merging into the dark of the night. It was nice to know that Roman had his approval, though it hardly mattered. Not while Patton wanted to be with someone else.

“I’m back!” said Patton.

“Gah!” Roman jumped a little at Patton suddenly appearing behind him. Seems both brothers have a talent for appearing out of nowhere.

“And I brought beer nuts.” He poured them from the large metal cylinder into the small table bowls at the bar. “Here you go kiddos. What’d I miss?”

“Nothing! Nothing of interesting. Certainly no missed confessions or anything…Uh you sure were back there a long time. Did you get lost or something?”

Patton smiled back at him, but it wasn’t his usual ear-to-ear smile. If Roman didn’t know any better he’d say his eyes looked a bit red behind those glasses.

“Nah, I had to make a quick phone call to…anywho, it doesn’t matter. So didja miss me Roman?”

Roman. Not kiddo. ”Always Patton.”

His partner in bartending crime and unknowing thief of his heart chuckled in that childlike manner he had. Then he turned back to work, cleaning glasses and humming the song they’d sung together only moments ago. Even as he did such a simple task Roman couldn’t help admiring him. Those fairy dust freckles, kind eyes, soft looking waves of hair, and warm smile…he truly was the sun in his sky; So close and beautiful, yet so very far away.

Roman sighed and said softly under his breath, “More than you’ll ever know.”

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bwaystanforlife · 6 years

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This is Not How I Imagined Coming Out of the Closet

Summary: At a troupe party, Simon and Jeremy end up being paired up for Seven Minutes in Heaven. The combination of close quarters, alcohol, and Jeremy’s eyes do nothing to help Simon make good, Catholic decisions.

Word Count: 2301

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When Simon first arrived at Jolene’s house, he did not expect to be stuck in a closet with the cutest boy he had ever seen. He had arrived with Lilette excited to spend the night hanging out with his closest friends. He had a feeling alcohol would be involved considering Jolene was hosting; but five beers and seven Troye Sivan songs later, he was loudly singing (if you could even call it that) along to “We Are Young” with the rest of the troupe. Loudly giggling as the song finished up, Simon fell on the couch to stabilize himself. Activity buzzed around the whole room as the next song started to play. A loud gasp rang out above the music though.

“We should play a game!” Jolene practically screamed at the troupe. Lots of heads nodded at this idea.

“Truth or dare?” Maashous suggested.

“No!” Lexi screamed. The last time they played truth or dare, Lexi ended up abandoned at Burger King after embarrassing herself in front of the girl she had a crush on. Lexi ended up getting an Uber home, and she claimed that she did not get to have it her way that night.

“Spin the bottle?” Clark held his hand in the air like he was still in school.

“Lame!” Violet shot back. The last time they played spin the bottle, the bottle never landed on Violet. She ended up getting bored and left the party early.

“How about Seven Minutes in Heaven?” Lilette called out. Everyone cheered at this fresh suggestion. The troupe hadn’t played this game yet, and they couldn’t wait to ruin it for someone so that they are scarred for life. The troupe got in a somewhat circular shape and sat waiting for someone to start.

“So how are we gonna do this?” Michael asked suddenly when everyone got awkwardly quiet.

“I guess we could spin a bottle to decide who gets to go in the closet with us, and the person who gets picked by the bottle chooses the next person to spin the bottle.” Robbie shrugged.

“How do we keep from people never getting chosen then?” Violet asked clearly frustrated at the idea of letting a bottle make decisions again.

“Once you’ve been picked, you can’t be picked again,” Robbie assured her.

“But how do we decide who goes first?” Cheryl questioned.

“Spin the bottle and then let them spin the bottle,” Robbie answered. Everyone nodded at this sensible answer, and Jolene leaned forward with a brown bottle to spin. It quickly spun around the circle-like blob the group had formed, and it landed on Violet.

“Fucking finally…” Violet muttered under her breath referring to the last time when the bottle never chose here. She leaned forward and spun the bottle with a flick of her wrist. The bottle smoothly moved in a circle picking Violet’s partner. It slowed to a stop on none other than Lexi. The two girls quickly got up and headed to the closet they had set aside for the game. Clark started the timer on his phone, and everyone tried to find something to do. Eventually everyone began drunkenly singing along to the musical theatre playlist Maashous had put on. At some point the opening to “Bend and Snap” started to play.

“Oooh! This is my jam!” Jeremy screamed jumping up excitedly. The troupe laughed loudly at his sudden outburst. Simon’s breath hitched in his throat as he saw Jeremy sing and dance excitedly to the Legally Blonde song.

It had been a couple of days since Jeremy had kissed him in the parking lot, and Simon could not stop replaying it in his head. Despite all of his efforts to try and forget the other boy, he would never leave his mind. Simon had already broken up with Annabelle knowing that he couldn’t keep leading her on like he was, but he couldn’t be honest with Jeremy either. His family would never accept him, but Simon still wanted Jeremy. He had a feeling with all of this dancing and alcohol, though, he was not going to be making any good, Catholic decisions tonight.

The timer went off, and Michael let the two girls know that they were free to leave the closet. They came out a little worse for wear eliciting a few giggles from the other members of the troupe. It was clear what they had gotten up to.

“Okay Lexi, who are you going to pick?” Cheryl crowed.

“I choose Sasha,” Lexi stated with a smirk. Sasha just shrugged and spun the bottle in front of her. Gwen was chosen by the bottle that the troupe decided to give all of the power to for the night. The two females headed for the closet, and everyone cat called them as they left their fun little group. The game continued on with Gwen and Sasha walking out of the closet laughing maniacally and whispering. Gwen chose Robbie as the next candidate, and the bottle chose for him to go in the closet with Clark. The two guys exited the closet talking about something that seemed to relate to fantasy football.

“Heteros…” Jeremy groaned rolling his eyes. Everyone around him bust out laughing, and Simon couldn’t help but smile at his joke.

Clark chose Michael next after seeing him trying to bolt for the kitchen to get out of being picked. Everyone knew he liked Sasha; and since Sasha wasn’t an option anymore, he clearly didn’t want to play. Michael’s eyes shot daggers at Clark before he spun the bottle. He let out a sigh of relief as the bottle landed on the biggest lesbian in the troupe, Jolene. Jolene groaned at this clearly wanting to have been paired with someone she could actually hook up with. She got up anyways and followed Michael into the closet.

As the group waited for their time to run out, Simon felt his eyes drifting over to where Jeremy sat. He was talking with Harmony and Francis and was very animated about it. Simon had no clue what it could be about, but he wished he did. He found himself wishing to hear Jeremy speak, laugh, and sing all of the time. He just wanted to be near him in every way possible, but he knew that could never happen. Simon could never be with Jeremy; and even if he could, he probably ruined any chance he ever had with him.

When their time ran out, Jolene and Michael walked out of the closet seeming very proud of themselves.

“What did you two do?” Harmony called out laughing.

“We have decided to try and start an LGBT+ club at Stanton!” Jolene cheered. Everyone in the troupe cheered at this in support of their friends.

“Finally!” Jeremy screamed adding comedic relief to the situation once again. Simon found himself admiring that quality in Jeremy. He liked how no matter what the situation was he could always make anyone smile or laugh with just a few simple words or actions. Jeremy didn’t even have to try to lighten the mood.

“Jeremy! It’s your turn!” Jolene suddenly sung out excitedly, and Simon’s heart stopped at this. Jeremy just nodded and clumsily crawled towards the bottle. Simon found himself, in spite of his better judgement, hoping that the bottle landed on him. He didn’t think he could handle it if it landed on anyone else. As the brown bottle spun quickly picking it’s next victim, Simon watched more intently than anyone else in the circle. He held his breath as the bottle slowed to a stop. Lots of giggles and whooping befell the circle as the bottle was clearly pointing to one Simon Saunders. Simon suddenly wished he could disappear; despite the fact that only a few seconds ago, he wanted to be the only person that the bottle landed on.

“Get in the closest, Jeremy!” Francis yelled.

“Again?! I already spent so much time coming out of the closet!” Jeremy whined earning him quite a few laughs. Jeremy got up anyway and walked over to Simon. He offered his hand to his scene partner with a soft smile. Simon took it only to get up and dropped it as soon as he was on his feet.

Now here he was standing next to Jeremy with no escape. They were cloaked in darkness thanks to a giggling Jolene slamming the door behind them, but Simon could still clearly make out Jeremy’s bright eyes. An uncomfortable silence fell amongst the two boys, and the air between them was filled with tension and unanswered questions.

“I’m sorry,” Jeremy suddenly blurted out. Simon looked at him incredulously. “I know I’m probably your least favorite person right now.” Jeremy’s voice sounded wet, and it pained Simon to know he was causing this.

“Jeremy-“ He started.

“I know you don’t want to be in here with me and that you don’t care about me or whatever. It’s fine we can just sit here in silence if that’s what you want. I don’t care.” Jeremy rambled. He was clearly drunk and way too honest right now.

“Jeremy, I do care about you,” Simon tried to tell him. Jeremy scoffed at his remark. “Okay, I deserved that. I just can’t give you the answers that you want, okay? I want to come to terms with who I am, trust me, I do. I just can’t though. I would never be accepted by my family! I would be thrown out of my house! They would never love me!” Simon ranted quickly starting to hyperventilate.

“Then they don’t love you. If they can’t accept and love everything about you, they don’t deserve you. So don’t tell me that you can’t because you can. You just don’t want to.” Jeremy spat.

“I do want to. I just can’t do the things I want with you.” The alcohol was actually helping him get what he needed to off of his chest.

“What do you want?” The taller boy looked at him. Simon opened his mouth and then closed it again. He couldn’t say it. He could never say it. Simon looked over at the blonde. Jeremy’s eyes glistened with moisture, but they were still filled with so much hope and love. Simon found himself leaning forward despite every sober part of him warning him against it. He hovered right in front of Jeremy glancing down at his lips before he captured them. Jeremy’s hands quickly moved up to hold Simon’s face. Jeremy pulled back after a few seconds to look at Simon. He leaned forward chasing the blonde’s lips, though, and quickly recaptured them. The kiss started out sweet and slow allowing Simon to just melt into Jeremy, but that quickly changed. Simon knew he needed more of Jeremy. His hands moved up to Jeremy’s waist so he could stabilize himself as he deepened the kiss. Letting it heat up, Simon let out a groan when Jeremy’s tongue found its way into his mouth.

Jeremy’s lips were rough against his, and he welcomed the feeling. It was so different than kissing Annabelle. When he kissed Annabelle, it was awkward and short. Kissing Jeremy just came naturally to Simon. Their lips just seemed to fit perfectly and Jeremy seemed to know exactly what to do to drive Simon crazy. Fate or destiny would be a great way to describe it if only Simon would let himself go there.

A moan suddenly left his lips as Jeremy tugged at his hair to deepen the kiss further than it already was. Simon felt the taller boy smirk against his lips at the sound. He suddenly felt the need to get him back for making him moan like that. He broke away from Jeremy’s lips and moved down to his neck. Simon didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the high he was riding from the feeling of Jeremy kissing him that was making him do this, but he followed through with his split second idea. The other male let out a loud moan as Simon attacked his neck. His hands wound themselves in the shorter boy’s brown hair keeping him in place. The brunette softly bit down on the other boy’s neck eliciting another moan from his mouth. Jeremy forced Simon off of his neck to look at him.

“You’re so hot,” Jeremy whispered. His eyes were full of adoration and lust. Simon bit his bottom lip as he gazed into the taller boy’s sparkling eyes.

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Simon winked. Jeremy shook his head chuckling before kissing the brunette again.

Simon knew what he was doing tonight with Jeremy went against everything he believed in, but it felt so good. How could something that felt so right and so good be wrong? He was expected to be happy and feel loved, right? In this moment, Simon knew he had never felt more happy or loved by anyone else.

The scene partners were in the middle of a long, sweet kiss when someone knocked loudly at the door causing them to jump apart.

“Alright, nymphos! Time’s up!” Jolene shouted from the other side of the door. Simon’s face turned bright crimson as he remembered that all of their friends could hear them from the closet. Jeremy nervously looked to Simon, but he just gave the blonde a quick shrug. No going back now, he thought to himself. They walked out of the closet proudly to join their friends.

“This is not how I imagined coming out of the closet…” Simon muttered under his breath. He was clearly referring to his appearance of messed up hair and swollen lips, but the other meaning of the phrase caused Jeremy to laugh out loud at what he said. Simon rolled his eyes before exclaiming, “Lilette! You’re next!”

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