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piduai · 2 years

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Interview with Noda Satoru from Shueisha Online

big interview from here (first 4 articles)

sharing anywhere is fine, but please credit me.

Q: Congratulations on finishing almost 8 years of serialization. As a way to welcome the last chapter, all previous volumes went into heavy reprint, and the first publishing of the last volume was suddenly increased by 100.000 copies. We are told that the total number of copies sold has exceeded 23 million. With the release of the last volume, I understand that your work on Golden Kamuy has reached it's end for the time being. Please share your current feelings with us.

Noda: What you said just now is further confirmation for me that so many readers have acknowledged this work.

Making all chapters, including the last one, free to read, countdown to the last chapter, the announcement of the live action, the exhibition - I feel like this information warfare strategy we designed with my editor, Ookuma Hakkou, has worked out very well. Ultimately all of our efforts have paid off.

Q: You also got the Japan Cartoonists Society Award.

Noda: The award has such a long history, I wanted to win it in the end in order to be able to display it as proof of my efforts.

I am happy to have received not only the Cartoonist Society award but other manga awards as well, and also about being invited to work on the anime and the live action projects. I believe it's a form of recognition from both casual readers and professionals.

Q: With the serialization over, what kind of lifestyle are you leading now?

Noda: I have to check settings and storyboards for the anime, and they also send me the scripts for the live action. Live actions work differently in terms of logic and script than manga and anime.

For example, although we strive to respect the original work, expressing the feelings of various characters who are not the main ones through internal monologue can only work until the stage of anime. I think I, being the original creator, am the only one who can organically convert that internal monologue into proper spoken lines or imagery, so it's not like I can divorce myself from this work entirely.

Q: Seems like a lot.

Noda: I feel like, during serialization, all I could do was run and run, panting and completely out of breath. But now I'm moving forward at a brisk walking pace. I also feel like if I relax too much my drawing skills will go to rust, so I'm thinking about proceeding with my next work as soon as I can. I've already started buying ice hockey equipment and my house is littered with boxes.

Q: So you've already started preparations for the full release of your previous manga, Supinamarada?

Noda: Indeed. I went to Tomakomai immediately after the serialization of Golden Kamuy ended, to take photos. I wanted to get to shoot them in spring, since nature changes colors with the passing of seasons. I've walked in the woods to the point of exhaustion. There's still the anime and the live action, but in my heart I made preparations to turn a new leaf and start everything from scratch.

Q: Now, looking back at the main story of Golden Kamuy, I wanted to ask you about the events of the last volume. Personally, Usgiyama-san's death came as a shock. Back when the official fanbook was released, you stated that you have no regrets about killing off any of the characters. Is that the case for Ushiyama-san as well?

Noda: Truth be told, he is the only one who made me go back and forth on this issue. Emotionally speaking, I didn't want him to die.

But he got to pass at his peak, so I think it was a good death. The actor River Phoenix passed away from an overdose when he was young and beautiful, but, before dying, he said that he wants to be the coolest corpse in the morgue.

From a storytelling point of view, watching the people that she loved die one after another is what gave Asirpa the resolve to end the gold hunt by herself. In other words, it lead her to the choice of pretending that the gold never existed.

The only way to make that choice a compelling one was to let the characters that both the readers and me, personally, grew to love.

Q: In other words, you made the decision for the remaining half of the gold to be abandoned a long time ago?

Noda: Yes. It was a non-negotiatible matter from the very beginning. Right off the bat my editor and I have agreed that the ending should be consistent with real history.

We agreed that we shall not use the land deed or the gold into granting the Ainu their lands restored, or creating an autonomous Ainu region in Hokkaido, or utilizing them in a way that would grant the Ainu a little more rights than what is historically true. If we did go there, the message would have been, "because the real world Ainu have not fought hard enough and didn't invest enough effort, their real history is different".

As was the case in the final chapter of the original story, the efforts of many people were behind the Ainu culture still remaining in the modern world. I wanted to convey that maybe Asirpa was one of the many whose efforts should be credited. Since there are still breeding grounds for the animals in the national parks that Asirpa helped protect, there are still Kamuy around, and therefore a way for the Ainu culture to survive; that was the idea.

Q: Indeed, some say that some ancient civilizations perished due to depletion of forest resources.

Noda: Exactly. The Hokkaido wolf and the Japanese otter are already extinct. The number of sea otters is progressively dwindling, and the tufted puffin is on the line of extinction. If it weren't for the park's protection, the Blakiston's fish owl and the Ezo brown bear, the two animals used in the highest order religious Ainu ceremony, Iomante, may have also gone extinct. I believe that the best possible fallback of this story is that Asirpa used the land deed in a way that could have staved off the extinction of Kamuy to the present day.

Q: The depictions of the Ainu in the last chapter are much more detailed in the volume than the magazine version. Are the new images referenced off your own collection?

Noda: That's part of what I personally own. Authors include Sunazawa Kura, Dr. Nakagawa Yutaka, our Ainu language supervisor, Shigeru Kayano, who became the first Ainu member of the Diet...

For example, Sunazawa Kura's autobiography was written when she was around the same age as Asirpa, so it gives us an insight on the Ainu of that time. She told stories of hunting in the woods with her family, of eating salted brains, and of not wanting her mouth tattooed.

Incidentally, Mrs Kura wrote about the discrimination of the Ainu as follows:

"For some reason, the people who bullied the Ainu predominantly happened to lack education, to work menial jobs, and a lot of them were illiterate. School teachers, doctors, forestry and coal miners, and other educated people respected and cherished the Ainu as true Japanese without a bit of arrogance."

In the end, a weak mind that seeks for a way to look down on someone is the one that will create discrimination.

Q: Any other important materials that you would recommend?

Noda: All of them are important, but if I had to pick one, it would be Makiri Research Newsletter.

It is a book by people who study makiri in museums and private collections, and I have had the privilege of interacting with one of the authors, Tobe Chiharu. Although a Wajin, Tobe has tremendous knowledge of Ainu carving patterns. Each small fragment of the pattern has a specific meaning, and so on.

I couldn't go as far as including this kind of details in the story, therefore the book is not included in the list of references, but it left us with valuable research regardless. Reading it makes looking at makiri in museums even more exciting.

Q: You also touched upon on the role the museums had in the preservation of the culture.

Noda: There is a person who is a hunter and craftsman aged over 80, his name is Urakawa Taihachi, he made the makiri of Kirawus and Cikapasi for us. We still keep in touch. When he was young and just started his craft, he used to go to museums and look at the collections. He has donated countless of his own works to museums later, believing that the Ainu that will come after will try to imitate his work after looking at it.

Other Ainu craftspeople have also been inspired by visiting the museums, or so I have been told. This is one example of how museums have a very important role to play in the preservation of Ainu culture. Another example could be Asirpa's summer footwear. Stukere are made from grape vines, and there are almost no people familiar with the craft left.

So we asked the National Museum of Ethnology in Osaka to photograph the shoes that had been stored there in the presence of Dr. Saito Reiko, a researcher of Ainu culture, and Dr. Kitahara Jirota, an associate professor at Hokkaido University. They put them on mannequins to make them look three-dimensional.

It was the first time Dr. Kitahara has observed them in this way, so he approached the task enthusiastically. We couldn't have done it without the help of the museum, and we have received a lot of help from museum curators all over Japan. I'd like to add that Dr. Saito is Wajin, while Dr. Kitahara has Ainu roots. This was the meaning behind the narration in the last chapter addressing that history was able to be passed down due to the cooperation between Ainu and Wajin.

Books by Kindaichi Kyosuke, the founder of Ainu language studies, are also included in the drawing. Dr. Nakagawa Yutaka, professor emeritus at Chiba University stated that at the least no serious Ainu language researcher would ever deny Kindaichi's achievements, and we wanted to convey that. Sunazawa Kura also mentioned her encounter with him in her book, commenting on his gentle personality and on how he shed tears when it was time to say goodbye.

For my research, I tried going places myself as much as possible. Reading through books convinced me that researching anything on the internet tells you very little of the real world. Not only about the Ainu but also the Matagi, the ethnical minorities in the Russian far east such as Nivkh and Uilta, and Hokkaido during Meiji. Infomation about any of that is very scarce online.

When I'd draw stories during serialization, sometimes Dr. Nakagawa or other researches would quip about what I based them off, and it would have been so embarrassing to say that I read about it online, so I'd rather reference books.

Q: I heard that Dr. Nakagawa has quipped that nobody actually says "Citatap" aloud while making citatap.

Noda: He has. That was intended as a character quirk and as a joke. A special rule particular to Asirpa-san's household. In fact, when it was just published, none of the supervisors even commented on it, because it was understood as a character quirk. A few years later, in an interview in I forgot which publication, he ended up commenting that it was an occurrence in Asirpa-san's house only. I guess it ended up way catchier than expected, and people started believing that it was historically factual for real Ainu.

That being said, "hinna hinna" has been used as an expression of gratitude many times in the course of the story. Despite it being explained directly in the text, maybe because it's also very catchy, people have seen to come to the misunderstanding that it means "delicious". As many of the readers may have noticed, Sugimoto, being a Wajin not used to the Ainu language, can't actually pronounce "citatap" correctly, he was saying "chitatapu", on the Japanese manner. He used "hinna hinna" in a frank manner, I thought that by doing so I could express his earnestness as a person well, but it may have been the cause of the misunderstanding.

And since you've been so kind as to give me this quip, I'll try making things clear in this interview.

We have asked that they take this kind of misunderstandings into account when making the live action. My stance has always been that I will not depict things that weren't based off historical materials.

Q: Let's go back to the last chapter. It seemed to me that the positive aspects of the Ainu were further reinforced in the volume version. What were your convictions?

Noda: Of course. I received a letter from Fujiya Rumiko, a lady with Ainu roots, who is one of the craftspeople of the Ainu folk tools on display at the current Golden Kamuy exhibition. It had been several years since I had received news from her. I thought that letter was a straightforward expression of the intent behind the convictions I have portrayed, so I would like to share it with you below:

"Back in 1997, when Kayano Shigeru-san helped repel the Hokkaido Former Aborigines Protection Act and it stopped going by that name, I was so happy. I am happy about Golden Kamuy to the same amount.

I have a friend, a grandma who is over 90, and it seems that up until now she has kept it a secret even from her grand children that she has Ainu blood in her.

But thanks to Golden Kamuy she started teaching her grand children simple Ainu words that she knows, and she was so so so so happy when telling me this. Thanks to Golden Kamuy, it has become easier for Ainu to say that they're Ainu.

I am thankful to you for spreading word of Ainu in such a good way".

Q: It is an example of how artwork has a very positive impact on the real world.

Noda: I feel that if I focused on the negative, on the harshness of discrimination that Ainu people face, the happiness of these two women would have come to naught. Though of course I understand that Fujiya Rumiko's words are not a general consensus. All individuals have their own opinions and ideologies they believe in, be it Ainu or Wajin. I know for a fact that there are many Ainu who just want a fair relationship with Wajin. That in consideration, I drew the last chapter hoping for a world in which Ainu and Wajin can live side by side. I'm satisfied knowing that there were people who were helped by that.

Even recently, however, I had the opportunity to talk with a young woman who has Ainu roots, and she told me, "Since this work began, there have been three people around me who have confided in me that they, in fact, have Ainu blood. I don't think Fujiya-san's story is just one small isolated incident.

Q: Do you think there was a possibility that, by emphasizing the discrimination aspect, many Ainu would have gone back to refusing to admit that they are Ainu?

Noda: I do. Before the series began, I visited the Hokkaido Ainu Association for an interview. What they told me was, "Don't write about miserable Ainu. Nobody wants to read about that anymore. We want something fresh. We want to see strong, bold Ainu. Don't be afraid to draw whatever you want, Satoru-kun".

I was convinced that there must be a role that this manga could play if it portrayed Ainu culture in an upbeat and fun way, rather than just them being shown as dry research material, and I took what I believed to be the right approach to this work. Of course, many people might disagree with me. There are many different approaches when it comes to fighting. If you want to take action, I think it’s only fitting to start from scratch and convey what you consider is right using your own name.

Q: But nobody can say that you avoided depicted discrimination in your work altogether, either.

Noda: It's true. It's present from the first chapter onwards.

Of course, I took my own approach to depicting the discriminatory terms and the ethnic minorities who are at the mercy of Japan and Russia without brutality. At the end of the day, the bottom point of this story is the pursuit of the gold that was supposed to be used as military funds against persecution from Wajin. My priorities were depicting aspects of the Ainu culture that I thought of as wonderful in a positive way as it is, and showing that both Ainu and Wajin are just humans, with the bad and the good in-between. What would have been the point if the serialization was cut short due to the feedback that this story is way too severe, way too serious, way too negative for an adventure manga in a mainstream magazine? How could it have served Ainu people?

What I did was make something that I, myself had interest in and thought was fun.

Q: This work is both an adventure manga and a gateway to Ainu culture, but it was not a manga that you started for human rights activities or Ainu cultural awareness.

Noda: You're right. If that was the case, I would have never mentioned any filthy nipples in such a respectable publication.

Q: Oh, you did include the filthy nipples. Also the dick-swinging onsen, the semen detective... You had such noble intentions behind all of that! (laughs)

Noda: Of course. It's all because I'm a very sophisticated fellow, you see. But I will stop giving out tasteless explanations, because I'm sure that 99.9999% of the readers have their eyes set on the "secrets" of the beautiful men that appear in Golden Kamuy.

q&a corner here, it was in-between the actual interview

Q: You once mentioned that while Golden Kamuy references a lot of movie and art through parodies and homages, there are almost no other manga references. Why is that?

Noda: Because it's a little limited as far as parodies go. During our meetings, my editor would at times reference huge manga hits, but since I haven't read them it would go nowhere. Even though there is no huge age difference between us, it seems that the manga we were into are entirely different. That's doubly true for readers in their teens or their twenties. Sooner or later, even huge well-known movies will become obscure. The difference in generations makes entertainment fragmented, we can't all know the same things anymore. I decided that I will stop referencing other works altogether from now on.

Q: I have heard that only a small portion of your materials are on display at the Golden Kamuy exhibition. I would like to ask specifically what other items you own.

Noda: There's a big model of 28cm howitzer and lightning type destroyer. The destroyer is one meter long. All was custom made of brass by a models artist.

I didn't want to yield it to the exhibition because it is really delicate and I didn't want to risk it being broken.

However, I felt that since the Golden Kamuy exhibition was such a big success, I should have put it out. There were a lot of old makiri, and I could have added them to the exhibition if they had been in the works.

Q: Hasn't most of it been bought by yourself? That's a considerable amount of money. Noda: It was all an investment. The Ainu materials alone I have purchased with my own funds from many craftspeople, totaling several million yen. Since I was allowed to depict Ainu culture, I wanted to be able to compensate and give back to those people in some way. I value the economic aspect a lot in the creation of my work. Of course, there was always the possibility of the manga never taking off and me being left empty-handed, as was the case with the previous one. I had to go to many places for interviews at my own expense, buy ice hockey gear at my own expense, rent a work place, set up desks and other equipment, get assistants, and then it got cancelled. When the serialization of Golden Kamuy has started, my savings were exhausted. Survival of the fittest is a universal rule.

Q: Tell us more about your new project.

Noda: Supinamarada! was cancelled mid-publication, and there were so many more things I wanted to show. I spent precious years of my young life on this work, and I want to keep it in this world as a finished product. I know how selfish it is. If i attempt redoing something that didn't sell once, there's a big chance it won't sell again.

But I am very grateful to Young Jump for letting me do it. I think I improved a little, with Golden Kamuy under my belt. I'm sure this time it will be more interesting, and I'm looking forward to it as well. Golden Kamuy has its fanbase, not Noda Satoru, the author. So I always try to do my best as a newcomer, with the intention of gathering new readers for each new work.

Q: At last, please leave a message for the people who love Golden Kamuy.

Noda: I am very thankful to everyone who bought Golden Kamuy until the very last volume. I wish for you to never forget it. I'd be happy if you had it as comics, kept it by the side of your bed and reread some of it from time to time. This is how I kept the manga that I loved, and my ideal was for my work to be kept this way as well.

I wish the people who liked Golden Kamuy would read my next work as well. I'm sure you'll like it, too.

Thank you very much.

#golden kamuy #noda satoru #translation

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just-like-playing-tag · 3 years

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Personal highlights from the fourth chapter of the fanbook!!! You can read the entire chapter translation here :)

Thank you so much @/1000sunnygo for the translation!!!!!!

According to Shirai, one of the reasons why Emma needed to be a girl is because of her so called "soft idealism" in not wanting to kill demons, which (somehow????) could come off as "uncool" or "naïve" to readers if coming from a guy (?????????????). However Shirai also says that “he wished Emma's words were acknowledged even if it came from a male protagonist instead of having the stereotypical expectations of what a man should be like”, which is nice in its own way.

The idea of a demon with no face under the mask, which was used both in chapter 103 and later in chapter 155 for Legravalima's transformation, was inspired by an old note Demizu left on a early draft where she commented on how it would be “creepy if a demon is actually faceless if you remove their mask”.

Sugita comments that Shirai often used to say "I wanna draw another jailbreak!", like dude same 😔😔

Shirai says that the escape from the bunker felt close enough to a new jailbreak, but the sadness of knowing that Yuugo and Lucas would have had to die “overshadowed the joy of being able to draw an escape again.” (╥﹏╥)

Sugita thinks that since most of the adults of the story are selfish and filled with hatred, it was nice having Yuugo and Lucas as adults who were loving and caring towards the kids. I never thought about it that way, but it's actually a very sweet fact. Yuugo, Lucas and grandpa Alex for the best adults awards!!!

Shirai speds time complimenting Sandy's good heart and ability with the younger kids which has me (◍•ᴗ•◍)

Shirai actually addresses the matter of Lucas not having recognized that Minerva's voice in chapter 110 was too young to belong to an adult: he says that there was too much noise for Lucas to suspect the difference.

While Sugita had repeatedly asked Shirai and Demizu to make the series darker, he jokingly says that Andrew's face was overdoing it- Shirai remembers Sugita saying “It's too scary! The children will cry!” pffttttt

Sugita actually had Andrew's face at the end of chapter 110 censored because the original illustration was too gorish (the mangled half of Andrew's face was blurred)

Andrew survived the explosion by doing the opposite of what Yugo and Lucas did: using his subordinates as a shield.

This is such a cool fact yet I feel like I didn't want to know ಥ_ಥ

The initial plan was to have one of the children shoot (and supposedly kill?) Andrew, but “it was more satisfying to let him be eaten after he called the children "food" ”; I actually really like this detail. Shirai also says that thanks to the stray demon, Ray didn't have to become a murderer. Thank goodness! For once Shirai chose the non-traumatic way for Ray XD

The wild demon saying “uh” after eating Andrew is indicative of it gaining human intelligence. Said demon was supposed to reappear in his human form, but that plotline was ~once again~ discarded.

Shirai regrets not having named Andrew Bernard or Bell had him been female, both references to Tinkerbell. I love this!! Wish you had thought about it sooner @Shirai ahah

Vincent calling Norman "James" instead of "boss" in chapter 112 was him just being playful

Hayato "looks as a protagonist", since his design was taken from a resistance leader from a discarded plotline. Shirai's initial intention was to make him cool and serious, but Sugita suggested to make him kind of a fanboy of Emma's group to reflect how amazing they had become.

Sugita (jokingly) says he “used his absolute authority as the editor to make Anna and Ray interact”, since he likes them as a couple

During the serialization, Shirai used to calculate the timing of information release of both the SJ serialization and volume release so that magazine and volume readers could enjoy similar revelation simultaneously. Following that logic, he synchronized Norman's riapparence in the manga and the volume 12 “merry Christmas Vincent” to happen around the same time, which was also when anime season 1 started airing.

THIS Q&A:

Q: Why do Peter’s men wear sunglasses?

A: Because Peter-sama is too dazzling.

Shirai says the symbol on the back of Norman's Minerva cape is the crest of the demons who lived at the hideout. Though I'm not completely sure it was intentional, the choice of having Norman wear the robes of a demon while planning the eradication of demons is... Peculiar, and also kinda ironic.

Peter and Andrew are related!! Andrew too was born from a branch of the Ratri family.

Okay this matter is tricky, but I think it was actually explained how there's demons like Musica and Sonju's horse and the demon pigeons that won't eat human meat. Apparently as of this panel of chapter 103 (which is also one of the few things included in the anime, ahah)-

There's five different species of demons, one of which - fourth column - may have gone extinct. Out of these five species, only one includes humanoid demons, who thus are the only ones who need to eat humans in order to maintain their form.

Also the Demizu note at the end of the chapter is such an highlight:

How he [Shirai] never gives up. Till the last minutes, he keeps adding corrections. I really admire his belief, “I'll surely bring a better result than the last time”. This “I'll bring something better than last time” mentality is a huge thing. Usually, when I make corrections, I feel like maybe it was better the last time. So I always used to think it's best not to mess with my arts too much. But I changed my mind after seeing Shirai sensei. There were times I'd be surprised to receive a text message at 4 am (laughs) It made me worry if he was resting properly.

You have my heart Demizu-san 🥺🥺🥺

#tpn #the promised neverland #I swear one day I'm rereading the whole fanbook and noting down everytime Shirai says something in the lines of #“I had already in mind a way to develop this but I discarded it not to make the story too complicated” because he says it all. the. time.#tpn emma #tpn legravalima #tpn yuugo #tpn lucas #tpn andrew #tpn sandy #tpn vincent #tpn peter ratri #tpn manga spoilers #tpn fanbook #Thank you again Sunny for your job 🥺🥺🥺#mine #Do you think... The Andrew-demon would maintain their hatred for the kids? It's something interesting to think about 🤔#Edit: Wait more notes: I've been wanting to continue doing these fanbook sums for a long time-#but unfortunately couldn't work on them until recently ಥ_ಥ #I'm already halfway through correcting rereading the following chapter post so please look forward to it if you'd like to!#If everything goes smoothly I plan to post the remaining two chapters on the next Sundays #And Sunny if you're reading this: I'm too shy for directly tagging you ahah #But thank you for your hard work I hope you enjoy reading this and I wish you have a wonderful day / night!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years

Note

Do you welcome Your Turn to Die asks?

If so, how about YTTD boys react to Reader dieing? You can make that death as bad as you want (slow, instant, etc)

Why? Cus some agnst is good, hehe

Oh always!!

.........

Humans

Joe

“N-No, c’mon [y/n]..you can’t just give up now! After we just got here!”

It’s unfortunate how a hardly-noticeable trap spelled the end of you--before you even got to the Main Game Miley was blabbering on and on about.

Joe isn’t sure whether to get help or not, so he stays with you, trying his best to figure out a way to stop your bleeding.

But it’s no use.

He beats himself up for being useless--for failing to protect you--but you take his hand and reassure him it’s alright.

“Just look out for Sara...sh-she needs you now more than ever..okay?"

Gin

At first..he couldn’t comprehend you dying.

Thankfully it wasn’t a bloody and painful death, but you were still suffering despite your attempts to cling to life.

He approaches you, already crying as he apologizes for not protecting you. But you reassure him he did his best, and you already felt better because he was by your side now.

He promises to become stronger and to escape with his newfound family...for your sake.

You weakly pet his head one final time, and as your hand becomes limp, Gin panics and tries keeping it on his head, shakily asking you to continue.

You never do.

Sou

He never should’ve let you get so close to him.

Not because of you potentially betraying him, but because he didn’t want to grow so attached to someone he could lose at any time.

But when it’s your turn to die (lol), he panics and deactivates your collar, begging you to run and save yourself.

Instead you stay in place, refusing to abandon him, and your stubbornness frustrates him.

“S-So that’s it?! You’re just gonna give up and die here?!” He shouts with tears in his eyes.

You reassure him it’s okay. You’ll only suffer a worse death for breaking the rules, and you tell him not to hold onto anger at the others for their votes.

He couldn’t look away from your execution, and that bitterness remained in his heart for a long while.

Kai

He tried not to let your death shake him.

But it was clear he was very broken up over it..despite how calm he seemed on the surface.

Only Sara caught a glimpse of him shedding tears as he knelt by your body--bloody and ruined from the execution.

This was all the more reason to backstab Asunaro. He didn’t want this...he didn’t want any of this.

Could you have been saved? Could trading cards with you have changed your fate?

He didn’t know the answer but..one way or another you’ll be avenged.

‘Damn this organization’

Keiji

You just needed help with one last attraction. That's all you asked for.

It was Quick Draw--and when a gun had to be drawn, Keiji froze in panic, unwilling to shoot.

Unfortunately that brief moment of hesitance was long enough to allow the monster to strike.

He shouted at you to run while he fought back against it, somehow killing it and clearing the attraction.

“I-I did it..hah..that was a close one. Alright now where’s....?”

But as he turns around, he sees you on the ground--your motionless body impaled by a sword.

He’s utterly devastated, feeling like he’s to blame for not protecting you like he promised--even though he only expected people around him to die.

And by the time he makes it back to the lobby, he already collapsed from his wounds and the grief.

Alice

In the Room of Lies, Alice was panic-striken about where his real sister was. But when Ranger presented her head to him, you could tell that couldn’t actually be Reko.

There was no blood. It had to be another one of the lies.

Yet the ex-prisoner took the bait...a decision that would’ve cost him his life had you not grabbed the head as it detonated.

Your hands became bloody stumps, and your stomach had a gaping hole in it.

Yet you refused to focus on the pain, only smiling as you saw the real Reko emerge.

Your final wishes were that they reconciled and survived the game together, before you finally succumbed to your wounds.

Alice is heartbroken and conflicted about why you’d sacrifice yourself for a murderer like him..but he’s gonna carry on your wish no matter what.

Q-Taro

You find Q-Taro trying to use the vending machine, and he explains the supposed “escape” it would grant him.

But it was odd he never mentioned this to anyone. So you can’t believe him when he said he’ll get outside help.

Ranger soon informs you two of the consequences of him leaving alone: the death of everyone else.

You beg the baseball player to reconsider---only to be horrified at his remorseful expression as he puts the final token into the machine.

Then your collar beeps rapidly, sending you collapsing to the ground as a poison within it slowly kills you.

Q-Taro has immediate regret, especially as the confused and panicked screams of the other participants reach his ears.

But he can only mumble apologies as he rushes through the door...and you laid dying, feeling betrayed.

Mishima

No..how could this happen to one of his beloved students/acquaintances??

In the test run of the voting system, he didn’t think there would be any lethal consequences for whoever had the most votes.

He was among the people who voted for you after you pleaded with him to do so. And only moments later did he watch the collar burn your head right off your body

Was he a killer? Just because he respected your wish?

No, he couldn’t be. It was that foolish doll’s fault for not saying anything.

He’s gonna be shaken up for a while, but he has to be strong--for his students and the other young ones who just witnessed something so brutal and traumatizing.

Dolls

Rio Ranger

You failed an attraction, the monsters overwhelming you and your partner. While they already died, you lived long enough to see Ranger enter to take an item from them.

But he sees you and shows a frowny card. “Wow you bastards died to the easiest attraction?! That’s pathetic!”

Even as he scorns you, he seemed to be upset. Despite all his jests, you were kind to him no matter what, and that kindness made you more..."tolerable" than the others.

He didn’t know why he felt so damn guilty, especially when you offer your bracelet/necklace.

“N-No..you can’t just give me that! You’re stupid for thinking you could befriend us dolls to the end!”

“I may be stupid, but..at least I tried..” You smile as your dying breath creeps out, while Ranger stands there in distraught, before taking what you offered him and quietly leaving.

Hayasaka

When the book Obstructors cornered him after the group failed to ward them off, you made either an incredibly brave or incredibly stupid decision:

Shoving him out of harm’s way and letting them attack you.

The pain of their sharp teeth tearing into your flesh was agonizing as you hit them with all your strength--until you had no more.

Hayasaka couldn’t believe you’d sacrifice yourself for him....he was a doll! He could’ve withstood it!

You weren’t even his partner. So why did you....?

He probably would never understand, but he was alive thanks to you....and he won’t forget that.

190 notes · View notes

atinymonster · 4 years

Text

heartbeat

ateez 9th member.

when jiyu was a special mc for the boyz’s recent weekly idol appearance and meets someone who makes her heart race—and vice versa.

she’s a lil lengthy, i kinda got a little carried away :,)

➴ masterlist

taglist ➴ @banhmi07, @galacticstxrdust, @jiyeons-closet

“We actually have a special MC with us today!” Kwanghee announced, sending the eleven boys into confusion. No one informed them of another MC on the show.

Sunwoo practically froze where he was standing when he heard Kwanghee mention “the only female member in her group”. Realizing who the special MC was, the other boys stole glances at him and secretly stared snickering at the boy’s stiffened state.

“Let’s welcome...Jiyu!” Saeho introduced.

The boys cheered as she shyly entered the studio. Not only did they cheer for her presence, but also at Sunwoo’s shocked and starstruck state.

It wasn’t a secret that Sunwoo had taken a liking to Jiyu since her time on MIXNINE. It also didn’t go unnoticed by the other ten (eleven) boys—how he watches all of her fancams, how giddy he gets when he discovers that their schedule overlaps with ATEEZ’s, and how his attention is always on the Jiyu whenever she performs with her group.

“Hello, I’m ATEEZ’s female and youngest member, Jiyu.” she introduced herself with a bow. The eleven boys bowed back.

Throughout the shoot, Sunwoo managed to keep his feelings and reactions on the down low. However, the members, mainly Eric and Changmin, took every opportunity to tease him and prod him for a reaction.

Jiyu chuckled to herself every time it happened. She found it adorable how he would turn the lightest shade of red. Much like Sunwoo, she took an interest in him ever since his appearance on High School Rapper.

During the Be My Fan segment, Jiyu laughed, cringed, and was just entertained in general. She didn’t know they had a segment like this on the show since ATEEZ and ONEUS didn’t have it when they were on.

“Now that Juyeon and Younghoon went, is there anyone else that wanted to try?” she asked.

Younghoon pounced at the opportunity. “I want to see Sunwoo try it.” he suggested.

The members and hosts cheered for Sunwoo, who went stiff.

“Sunwoo–ssi, would you like to try passion or sexy?” she asked. Just a simple question made the poor boy stutter, much to his members’ amusement.

“I’ll do sexy.” he said, lowkey regretting his life decisions when he heard the teasing cheers and whistles from his members.

“Alright, aaand start.” Jiyu signaled.

“This is how sexy people enter.” Sunwoo said before walking through the curtain without using his hands. Everyone burst into laughter at his entrance.

When he started doing push–ups with the rose, Kwanghee jokingly covered Jiyu’s eyes. “Protect the lady’s eyes!” he shouted, causing everyone to fall out of their chair in laughter.

Unbeknownst to everyone, Jiyu’s heart was beating a little too quickly to be considered normal. She covered it up by laughing and going along with Kwanghee’s joke.

Once Sunwoo’s show was done, Jiyu dabbed the tears in the corner of her eyes. “Oh my God, I’m crying.” she said.

“Was it that horrible?” Kevin asked, sending everyone into fits of laughter again. Sunwoo buried his head in his hands in embarrassment.

Changhee announced another activity. “There’s actually another part to Be My Fan!”

Kwanghee gave him a knowing look. “Ahh, is it that activity?” he asked

Changhee nodded.

“In this game,” Saeho started, “you need to raise Jiyu’s heart beat!” he announced. Out of excitement and disbelief, the members started clapping and cheering.

“Eh? Me?” Jiyu asked, pointing to herself.

“I don’t think they’d want to make our hearts race.” Saeho joked, gesturing to himself and the other two hosts. Everyone laughed at his humorous explanation.

“Alright, let me explain the game.” Kwanghee said. “Only one of you can challenge Jiyu.” he revealed. The boys’ mouths dropped with disbelief. “You will have one minute to attempt to raise her heartbeat. If you don’t get it past 120, you’ll fail the game.”

“Jiyu, please stand in the middle right here.” Saeho said.

Saeho put the heart beat detector bracelet on her wrist and on the screen, her name and heart rate appeared. “Now, who would like to challenge?” he asked.

Sunwoo tried his hardest to not make eye contact with any of the hosts or his members and tried to act casual about the game. However, it didn’t seem like luck was on his side.

“Sunwoo.” his members unanimously agreed.

“Alright then Sunwoo, come out!” the Changhee said, unaware of the butterflies in Sunwoo’s stomach.

Sunwoo slowly and hesitantly stepped out to stand in front of Jiyu. She smiled at him and he swore his heart skipped at least two beats.

“So her starting heart rate is 97.” Kwanghee announced. “Remember, you need to get it to at least 120 to win.”

Sunwoo started fidgeting and bouncing to cover up his nervousness. “Ahh! What do I do?!” he shouted in distress. He didn’t want to embarrass himself by exposing his feelings when trying to raise her heartbeat.

His members, despite the enjoyment they were getting from watching Sunwoo’s distress, shouted encouraging words and some even gave suggestions on what to do. Since Jiyu was notoriously known for her chic aura, they figured raising her heartbeat would he a challenge.

Jiyu calmed herself down and pressed her lips into straight line, waiting for the signal to start. She looked at Sunwoo and found his nervous and jittery state adorable.

“3, 2, 1, start!” Saeho said, starting the timer.

Sunwoo panicked and started nervously laughing. He balled his hands into fists from the overwhelming feelings of butterflies in his stomach.

“Ya, ya! Her heart rate is dropping!” New warned. Despite Jiyu slightly smiling, her heartbeat dropped to 80.

“Ahh...we’re screwed.” Hyunjae mumbled in amusement.

“Do something, Sunwoo! Hurry!” Q shouted as he anxiously watched the monitor.

Sunwoo took a deep breath before finally looking down to make–eye contact with Jiyu. His cheeks burned and his heart was racing miles. He made small grabby hands for her hands and she giggled.

“Oh, oh! It went up, it went up!” Eric shouted, seeing the number jump back up to 95.

“Thirty seconds left!” Saeho warned.

Jiyu put her hands in his and he started singing, swaying their hands from side–to–side. The hosts started squealing. “It looks like a boyfriend serenading his girlfriend!” Kwanghee teasingly shouted.

Jiyu laughed through her nose at his comment as she looked to her feet before composing herself again. Sunwoo felt even more embarrassed and flustered, but still kept singing. He even started bouncing with his knees. Jiyu copied him. The members started encouraging Sunwoo when they saw her heart rate steadily increase.

“Five seconds!”

“115!” Haknyeon shouted in amazement.

“Aaand time!” Saeho signaled.

Sunwoo immediately let go of her hands and ran back to his seat, squatting behind it, too shy to look at Jiyu. His members laughed and tried to drag him out. Jiyu chuckled at his embarrassed state.

“Ahh, it’s such a shame, but Sunwoo was really close.” Chanhee said. Everyone looked at the monitor. Sunwoo managed to raise her heartbeat up to 118.

“Actually.” Eric said as he raised his hand, “I think Jiyu has an advantage since Sunwoo was flustered just by her standing there.” he said, discreetly sending a teasing smirk to Jiyu. Jiyu pouted at him.

“Are you saying that if Jiyu was the one trying to raise Sunwoo’s heartbeat, she’d succeed in no time?” Kwanghee asked. The boys shouted in agreement while Sunwoo just wanted to crawl into a hole.

“Let’s try it, then!” Saeho announced, making Jiyu and Sunwoo flustered. The members happily cheered.

Jiyu just dryly laughed at her situation.

Before Sunwoo knew what was happening, he was wearing the heart beat detector bracelet, his name and heart rate were displayed on the monitor screen, and Jiyu was standing in front of him rocking on her heels. Since Jiyu was slightly shorter, he sent a litte glare to his members over her head. They just smiled at his predicament while some gave him a thumbs–up.

“Are you ready, Jiyu? The same rules apply to you, too.” Changhee said.

Jiyu nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Alright...start!”

Jiyu took a deep breath before staring up the ceiling. “Hongjoong, forgive me.” she said, making the hosts laugh at her mention.

She reached for his hands and he put his hands in hers. Everyone started hollering.

“It’s already at 110!” Hyunjae shouted.

“Sunwoo–ah.” she said in her best aegyo voice as she swayed their hands like how he did with her. Sunwoo practically fainted.

His members were howling in laughter seeing the jump in his heartbeat. “137!”

Jiyu looked at the monitor with wide eyes. “YA! I didn’t even do anything yet!”

369 notes · View notes

inadaydream99 · 4 years

Text

Like a Challenge

The Boyz Q/ Changmin

It’s a week before finals and all you want is to get some studying done in the library. Though there’s one thing in your way, the devilishly cute boy sitting in front of the last available computer on his laptop. Things don’t get off to the best start. But what can you say, you both like a challenge...

A/N - I’ve been working on this oneshot for ages now, kinda been busy and not had much time to write recently. But it’s finally finished!! Enjoy! 😁

You have to be kidding me! You’re seething, hands clenched into fists on either side of your body as you stomp towards the only computer that is free in the library.

You had expected for the library to be packed, it approaching finals and all. But not once did it occur to you that there are people out there who seriously sit on their laptop in front of a computer, stopping anyone else from being able to use it.

“Excuse me, is this computer available?” You force a smile onto your face. You have to give the benefit of the doubt right? Maybe he hadn’t realised he had taken the last computer space.

“Yeah.” The guy absentmindedly responds, not even sparing so much as a glance in your direction. You feel the anger bubbling up inside of you once again, becoming more and more agitated by the second.

“Then can you move so I can use it?” Now you’re being blunt, arms folded across your chest as your foot taps impatiently on the floor.

“Maybe if you’d given me a chance to finish my reading then I would have moved, but since you’re being so rude I think I’ll just stay right here.” He finally lifts his focus away from his laptop screen, a scour shooting in your direction.

You gasp a little in shock when your eyes meet his. Ji Changmin. It’s common knowledge around your campus that no one messes with Changmin. Many have tried and failed to outsmart him. But he’s just too clever, too quick witted and snarky. He’s one of the most respected students and you’re not about to take him on in a challenge. Well, at least not right now.

Your mouth snaps shut when you notice Changmin mockingly laughing at you. He’d been watching you the whole time you gawked at him, obviously taken aback when you had realised who you’d come up against.

Heaving a defeated sigh, you turn away from the boy with the intimidatingly dark eyes and begin to walk towards the exit. Maybe tomorrow you’ll have better luck, but for now you’ll settle for studying in your room without a computer.

Four days until finals and your second attempt at getting a good amount of studying done. Being adamant to get a computer in the library, you arranged to meet your friend Younghoon after your morning class. Younghoon was kind enough to offer sacrificing his only lay in of the week to grab a decent study spot in the library for you. But only on the condition that you bought him coffee.

That’s why you almost drop the large takeout cup all over yourself when you gage who has taken the only computer space next to your friend.

“I’m sorry, I tried to tell him this seat was taken but he wouldn’t listen.” Younghoon warily informs you as you drop the cup onto the desk in irritation. You can tell younghoon is nervous, his eyes darting to cast a brief gaze at the person beside him as he informs you in a hushed tone.

“I can’t believe this.” You mumble, dropping your bag off your shoulder. It hits the ground with a loud thud, successfully gaining his attention.

“What.” Changmin turns to you, frustration written across his face. He’s giving you the same look that made you nervous the previous day, only now you aren’t so affected. Or so you hope it seems to him.

You had spent the entirety of the previous evening replaying the awful encounter, each time coming up with new insults and sassy comebacks to spit in his face. You’d imagined rendering him speechless from your perfectly rehursed remarks. Only now, in the moment, does your mind go blank.

“That’s... my seat...” You mentally cringe at yourself. How could you come off so unassertive and timid when you’d envisioned this scenario a hundred times over already?

“Not anymore.” Changmin mocks, the devilish smirk on his face making your fists clench and toes curl. Your body becomes stiff, breathing heavy as you watch him slowly turn back around to face his laptop.

“Come on (Y/N), let’s just go somewhere else.” Younghoon tries to compromise, picking up your bag from the floor and tugging on your hand genlty.

You don’t want to move. Moving means admitting defeat for a second time. But Younghoon persuades you to comply with him by offering his laptop for you to use.

Turning to give one final glare to the back of Changmin’s head, you notice him watching you through the reflection of the black computer screen. The wink he sends you almost makes you see red, a hiss escaping through your gritted teeth as you resist a little from Younghoon’s hold on your hand.

“Don’t stoop to his level.” Younghoon encourages you to raise above and not create a scene in front of the crowded library. And upon refelection you are glad that he was there to keep you grounded and stop you from ripping Changmin’s head off his body.

Three days until finals. If you weren’t determined before you definitely are now. You confidentially march into the library, bag flung over your shoulder as your gaze focuses on one thing and one thing only. The only free computer.

Initially your heart leaps in your chest, an elated sensation filling you when you see the empty seat in front of it. This is the moment you had been waiting for and the overjoyed smile on your face informs everyone of this.

Which is why is only angers your more when you make eye contact with the tormenting devil himself; Changmin. He’d been waiting for you, planning how to rile you up once again.

You thought you were clever yesterday by getting your friend to save a seat? Well, two can play at that game and Changmin never loses.

He grins at you menacingly as he tauntingly places his hand on the back of the chair, dragging it out slowly and finally sitting down in front of the computer.

“Can I help you?” Changmin triumphantly smiles up at you as you stand looming over him. From an outsiders perspective it would seem that you are the one tomrmenting him, his feigned innocence only making you lose more and more of your temper.

“What is your problem?” You speak through gritted teeth.

“I’m not the one with the problem, you are.” Changmin reply’s completely unphased. “If you are so desperate for a computer, why don’t you just buy one?” He tilts his head in question, his smirk alerting you of his mocking.

“Because not everyone is able to afford one.” You snap, though you manage to keep your voice controlled. “Now, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been trying to study for finals and, thanks to you, I’m very behind.” You continue, holding your head up high as you admit defeat for the third and final time.

As you exit the library, you don’t notice the way Changmin watches you walk away, guilt clouding his mind as he slumps into his chair. He’d won at his little game, but for the first time he wasn’t happy. He never thought that he’d ever feel regret towards you and your snarky attitude. I mean, you were the one that started it all, right?

Two days until finals and Changmin is waiting by the very same computer, desperate to see you walk into the library. He’d been thinking about you a lot, wishing to have a chance to make things right between you, to redeem himself in your eyes.

Truth be told he had kind of fallen for you a little. He hadn’t realised it at first, but when you sassed him yesterday it made him feel things he’d never felt for anyone else before. He’d seen a part of himself in you, a way that you were similar and it’d made his stomach flutter nervously.

He stands up straighter when he sees Younghoon enter the library, but as soon as he realises that you aren’t with him his posture deflates again.

“If you’re waiting for (Y/N) then you should give up now. She’s not coming.” Younghoon flatly informs Changmin before continuing past him to find a table to study at.

“I took it too far, didn’t I?” Changmin follows Younghoon to the empty table, perching opposite him. This is the first time he’s looked so vulnerable and it makes Younghoon feel a little sorry for him.

“Look, I get that you like (Y/N), but word of advice from her best friend, annoying her isn’t the way to her heart.” Yonghoon softly speaks, leaning across the table a little to keep their discussion private.

“How did you know I- you know what, it doesn’t matter. How do I win her over?” Changmin begins to question, deciding that you are more important than feeling self conscious over being obvious with his crush.

“Tell her how you really feel.” Younghoon encourages with a warm smile. “Oh and, I’m just good at reading people.” He quickly adds, making Changmin roll his eyes before quickly rushing out of the library.

One day until finals. Changmin had been looking for you everywhere, but with no luck. He’d even waited outside of one of your classes in hopes that he could catch you at the end, but you never showed.

“I see you finally got the computer.” He beams, chuckling as he approaches you while you study.

In a desperate attempt to find you, he’d decided to try the library one last time and he’s very glad he did.

“And I see you’re slacking.” You turn to him with a cheeky smirk, raising your brow in challenge.

“Oh is that right?” He laughs. “Maybe it was intentional.” He retorts lightheartedly.

You were kinda hoping to bump into Changmin today after hearing from Younghoon how guilty he felt yesterday. You finally feel like you have the upper hand in your odd relationship, so why not have a little fun with it?

“Maybe...” The corner of your lip quirks as you stare at each other. A comfortable silence encapsulates you, almost as if you’d come to some unspoken mutual agreement that things were taking a turn for the better between you.

“So... is this seat taken?” Changmin breaks the silence after a minute, eyebrow raises quizzically as he indicates to the empty chair beside you. You sheepishly turn to look at the chair in question before breaking out into a wide smile.

“It’s all yours.” Changmin’s cheesy grin matches yours as he chuckles under his breath. And for the next few hours you sit together, laughing and chatting while you study.

Needless to say, after that your relationship bloomed and you actually managed to do well on your finals despite your disrupted week. Although, Changmin continues to tease you all the time. Some things never change. And maybe you’ve grown to love it. That, and the fact that you give it just as good back.

113 notes · View notes

hyuckles-chuckles · 4 years

Text

double agent — z. chenle

whilst on a solo mission you bump into your ex-boyfriend…who is on the exact same mission as you with his own division of your agency.

pairing ; zhong chenle (agent 22) x fem!reader (agent 50)

other character(s) ; enemy!huang renjun and captain!lee taeyong (agent 127)

genre ; angst, fluff, exes-to-lovers!au, spy!au · word count ; 1.9k · rating ; 15 · warning(s) ; violence, swearing, usage of weaponry (knives, guns), blood mention

request ; “chenle + 14 : ‘don’t make a sound.’ + f : exes-to-lovers!au + q : spy!au by anon

masterlist ; adobe’s 1500 follower celebration

a/n ; i hope everyone likes this! do give it a like / reblog / feedback if you did, i love hearing what you have to say about what i write🥺 + i changed how this section of my fics look, i hope you all enjoy it i think it looks better but do give in your input

You observe the ballroom, looking to see if anything seems out of the ordinary. You were on day 3 of your mission, flying to Shanghai after you found out that’s where your lead — Huang Renjun — would be.

Huang Renjun was a former agent of a Chinese spy agency, Vision; China Division. He went rouge on the agency, leaking crucial information from his own division as well as other divisions of the agency — like your own, Vision; Korea Division. He needed to be taken down…and you were apparently the only agent for the job.

You hated that your Captain Taeyong had given you — of all people — this mission. Yes, you loved being a spy, but when you had to be reminded of the reason you broke up with your former boyfriend Chenle, you didn’t exactly want to be in this position. You met each other in training in Korea and became inseparable ever since, but when your training was over, he had been recruited by the China Division. Unfortunately, you were forced to break up with each other as a result, despite you both having deep feelings for each other.

You were good at not thinking of him while working, but when you realised you had to travel to his place of birth for this mission, you couldn’t stop thinking about him and what could have been.

You walked around the ballroom, your glass of champagne in one hand and the other holding the front of your dress so you wouldn’t trip over the material — you wouldn’t want unnecessary attention. As you walked around, looking into the faces of people trying to locate Renjun, but he seemed to not to be in the ballroom.

You decide to leave the room and wonder the dark halls of the building. You wonder aimlessly, the click of your heels the only noise you hear for a long time. Until you hear a group of people laughing in the distance. You stop walking and wait to hear the laughing again so you could locate the people. When you hear them again, you make a left and continue walking.

When turning down another hallway, you see a closed door with light creeping underneath it. You’re about to walk closer to the door when out of nowhere somebody grabs you by the arm and pulls you into a different room.

“What is going on—” you begin to ask before you feel a hand pressed up against your mouth, the person who pulled you into the dark room doing so. The person held your wrists tightly, your chest pressed to the wall as their body is pressed up against your back.

“Don’t make a sound,” the person tells you…but you recognised the voice as your ex, Chenle.

You have to get out of his hold, but he’s holding you tightly with one hand as the other is preventing you from telling him who you were. So you have to do anything to get him to let go off you. You wrap your leg around his calf and you raise your leg so that he falls backwards and ultimately lets go of you in the process. You know that he has no idea who you are, so he is prepared to fight you back, but you turn him around, sit on his lower back and pin his arms above your head.

“Who are you?!” he whisper yells at you.

“It’s just me, Chenle,” you tell him, getting off of his back to help him up.

“Why did you do that?” he groaned as he held his head. “Now my head hurts.”

“I’m surprised your big head doesn’t hurt all of the time,” you tease as you reach to pat his head, but stop yourself in time to remember that you couldn’t do that. “What are you doing here?” you ask him instead.

“I don’t know if you know this,” he says sarcastically. “But Huang Renjun was from our division.”

“Of our agency,” you one-up him.

“Well, I know Renjun—”

“Not well enough, obviously.”

“—I know Renjun!” he exclaims as he presses his ear to the door you were pulled into not too long ago. “I know his traits and attributes. So, you can just go now.”

“You’re not my captain,” you scoff, pressing your own ear to the door, not realising that you and Chenle would be face-to-face. You immediately turn your face around to listen with your other ear. “Huang doesn’t even know me; he will be more likely to trust me than you.”

“(Y/N), Renjun’s very dangerous,” he whispers, moving slightly closer to you. “I’d rather you not be in his presence.”

“We’re not dating,” you say, trying to mask your sadness with a serious tone. “You shouldn’t care if I’m in danger or not. Do you not realise how we met?”

“I still care about you, stupid,” he grunts, his head still pressed to the door but his eyes on the back of your head.

“Don’t do that right now, Zhong Chenle — we’re working.”

You bask in the silence for a little bit, hearing the laughing outside the door boom slightly and then lessen, meaning the door had been opened and closed. You move away from the door, turning to look at Chenle with his hand on the door. You assume he’s about to do what he had done with you to whoever was on the opposite side of the door.

“Go hide somewhere,” he mumbles.

“Chenle—”

“I’ll say our code word and then you only come out then.” He hands you a pair of handcuffs and cocks his head towards the couch. You curtly nod, waiting for him to give you the code word: dolphin.

When the footsteps got closer, you hear Chenle open the door and grab the person who he throws to the floor. He was a lot gentler with you because you didn’t put up a fight in the beginning, but the person who he grabbed was grunting and trying to get away from him.

“What the fuck?!” the person groaned.

“Give it up, Renjun,” Chenle sighs. “I’ve got you.”

“Chenle?” Renjun questions, and — from what you can hear — he tries even harder to escape. “Let go of me, you little shit!”

“Not until back-up gets here and takes you away!”

You peer over the side of the couch where the noise doesn’t come from and look to see what’s going on. You see both of them on the ground, each one trying to assert their dominance on the other. In case something bad happens, you take your handgun out to assist Chenle if necessary.

“Renjun, I don’t want to hurt,” your ex says through clenched teeth.

“I don’t want to hurt you either,” Renjun grunts as he takes a shiny object from behind him. “But I’m prepared to.”

You hear Chenle yell in pain, the shiny object being a knife that just went into his lower thigh, his blood slowly coming out of the wound. The sound brings tears to your eyes, but you stay silent because you’re still on the job.

“Later, Chenle,” Renjun gloats, smiling as he stands up from the ground.

“Dolphin!” Chenle finally yells, indicating you to come out.

“‘Dolphin’? That’s not a code word—”

“It’s not,” you confirm, pointing your gun at him. “But it’s ours.”

“Is this your fucking girlfriend?” Renjun asks Chenle as he eyes your weapon, wondering what you will do next.

“Just get down on the ground and put your hands behind your back,” you tell him. “Or I will shoot.”

Renjun does as you say, putting his hands behind his head in the process. You walk over to him, making sure to step over the pile of blood starting to stain the carpet. You frisk Renjun quickly and then handcuff him to the leg of the couch so you could help Chenle.

“You good, Lele?” you softly ask him, stroking his cheek gently before you begin to take his tie off and tie the material above his wound to stop the bleeding for the time being.

“Never better,” he dopily smiles, moving his bloody hands from his thigh so you can have access to his leg. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” you say as you stroke his hair like you wanted to before.

“Ugh, Chenle’s girlfriend, can you just shoot me?”

“Keep quiet,” you instruct him, pointing your gun at him as you hear shouts from the room down the hall accompanied by knocking on your door.

The door slams open and you see other agents in the room come to collect a cursing Renjun. You watch as they take him away, Taeyong walking in with a nurse from the infirmary to attend to Chenle’s wound.

“Well done, Agent 50 and Agent 22,” he congratulates you both as he sits on the couch that Renjun was once handcuffed to.

“Thank you, Agent 127,” you nod, helping the nurse pick Chenle up before they put him on the opposite couch to fix him up.

“You okay, Agent 22?” Taeyong asks Chenle, who just nods his head as the nurse begins to cut the material of his pants. “You two work really well together,” he comments.

You look to Chenle and smile as you see him sitting up now. “Thank you, sir.”

“I really regretted letting you go, Agent 22.”

“Really?” Chenle questions, his eyebrows furrowing at what Taeyong had said.

“Yes, really,” Taeyong smiles before he continues speaking. “Before the China Division recruited you, I was planning on you two being partners.”

Everyone at the agency knew that you and Chenle had dated before he left, so it didn’t surprise you that Taeyong was considering to have you being each other’s partners. It would’ve been great to be his partner.

“And, if you want, I’m prepared to talk to your captain and ask if you could work for us.”

“Are you serious, sir?” Chenle, perks up, grunting from the nurse applying too much pressure to his newly bandaged thigh before they leave his side.

“I’m always serious,” Taeyong says as he stands up straight.

“Uh, (Y/N) — Agent 50,” Chenle whispers, getting your attention.

“What?” He motions for you to sit down next to him, so you do.

“Do you still care about me?” he asked you, soft enough so that only you could hear him.

You remember what he had told you earlier. I still care about you, stupid. “Yes, stupid,” you say as you nod enthusiastically.

“Yes please, Agent 127,” Chenle says, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Thank you, sir.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Taeyong smiles as he exits the room, everyone else following. “I’m happy you two are back together; you look good.”

“Thank you,” Chenle exclaims, laughing as you hide your head in the crook of your shoulder.

“Is everyone gone?” you mumble into his shoulder.

“Yeah — why?”

You smile as you raise your head, putting your hands on his cheeks and bringing him in for a sweet kiss. “I missed you, Lele.”

“I missed you too,” he giggled, kissing your forehead softly. “I’m happy I pulled you into this room and pinned you to the wall.”

“And I’m happy that I got you to fall on your ass,” you smile as you help him up, standing on the side of his injury to help him walk out of the building. “Now, let’s go out of here.”

“That sounds great,” he beamed, pressing another kiss to your temple as you walk out of the room together. “I need to get a new pair of pants.”

to celebrate getting 1500 followers on here, i opened up my requests! be prepared for more requested works from me!

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rawsanma · 3 years

Text

In Memoriam of "Shin Evangelion: Curse"

*The following article contains a full spoiler for "Evangelion 3.0+1.0".*

I sat together with a person who was not in birth when EOE was released, and after watching the film we talked a bit and thought about the people who passed away without ever seeing this. I understand that fans from the old series and those who came from the new series may have very different perceptions of Shin-Eva. So I'd like to first correct a few things I said in my first impressions.

It may be somewhere between an honorable movie and a mediocre movie in general, but as Evangelion, it's garbage.

After about halfway through the two hours and thirty-five minutes, I started to look at my watch again and again. The double ending, which is both a personal novel and a product, was a fleeting fantasy, and the two songs "One Last Kiss" and "beautiful world (da capo ver.)" were not used effectively in relation to the story, only being played in the staff roll.

When I saw the first 10 minutes of the movie that was released last year, I thought that perhaps Paris was chosen as the setting for the story of "humanity fighting together in the face of destruction" or "the expansion of the Eva world (not G Gundam, but G Eva!)", but that was not the case at all. He just wanted to depict the battle using the Eiffel Tower as a FATALITY,　I realized that he hadn't made a single millimeter of progress since when he asked Hayao Miyazaki if I could film only this action scene of Her Highness Kushana in the re-animation of Nausicaa, he was scolded, "That's why you're no good!"

At the beginning of the film, they try to carefully describe the things behind the scenes that were not told in Eva Q. The third Ayanami like the TV version is the main character, and they go on and on about living in the countryside, copying "My Neighbor Totoro". The large family of our parent's home that we go back to during the summer vacation is presented as an image of happiness in life and a decent human being. It is also connected to Gendou's narrative during the Human Instrumentality Project but isn't it too Showa-era and too simple a solution? I am interested in how the young fans who are children of nuclear families who left their large families in the countryside and moved to the city saw the too sudden depiction of "life in the countryside". It was almost a gag to see Ayanami walking around in a plug suit which is a sexual orientation that has manifested itself after Space Battleship Yamato, in the images of pre and post-war farming villages depicted by recent NHK morning dramas. The director, influenced by his wife, must have been immersed in the LOHAS and vegan lifestyle as a fashion statement, which is only possible because he is an urbanite with too much stuff and too much money. As for this theme, it has already been presented in the watermelon field scene in the second film, and it is merely a re-presentation of the same theme in a diluted form.

I've pointed out before that Eva Q is "a crack in reality because of the loss of reality to rely on. "It's rude not to eat what you're served!", Shinji was scolded by Touji's father, who looked like a subversion of Hayao Miyazaki's work (Gedo Senki!). I have a simple question, how can the interior of a house become so old and wretched after only 14 years? How can a community of people of all ages be formed in just 14 years?　There was a line that implied that Touji had killed someone for the village, and it is possible that the director had extremely beautified the "Showa era" as a sanctuary where people who are hurt and regret their committing murder during the war as a soldier live nearby, and when he opened the last drawer after using up all the materials, he found the image of the original landscape of his childhood.

Misato and Kaji's child, which is only described for a few minutes, is also abrupt, and I don't feel that it is more than a plot device for the purpose of staging the reconciliation with Shinji later on. Some people seem to be moved by the fact that "behind Misato's cold attitude towards Shinji in Q, there was such a conflict in her mind," but it's the opposite. All the answers are just excuses after wasting nine years of work. Even if the wounds healed and treated with a gentle "I'm sorry," after being beaten severely by a raging DV husband, the fact of the beating would not disappear, and the wife would feel nothing but fear at the sudden change in her husband. To a situation that he had set to minus 100, he spent 2 hours and 35 minutes gradually pouring water drawn from other places and past works to bring it back to zero...I've never seen such a horrible match pump. Well, now that I'm writing this, I'm thinking that I've seen this before.

The relationship between Eva Q and Shin Eva is very similar to the relationship between "The Last Jedi" and "The rise of Skywalker" in Star Wars. In a self-absorbed rampage of conjecture that did not listen to the opinions of others, the historical stage of the series that had been built up was turned into a mess, and then the destroyed story was carefully built up again from the ground using unnecessary length, and only the shape of the story was created to end it without being disgraceful, and every scene that tries to make things more exciting is a copy of past work. As for Star Wars, since 8 and 9 were directed by different directors, I was able to settle my feelings of resentment towards Ryan and gratitude towards Abrams, respectively, but as for Evangelion, the director looks like a child who has been proud to clean up his own mess and have his female cronies praise and pat him on the head. Moreover, what kind of sympathy do you expect when you are told to "I'll make amends" for the mere act of wiping your ass after defecating, in a cool, Showa-era chivalrous tone?

In this film, as a recovery from Q and a summary of new Eva, there are elements throughout the story that critics can easily relate to the old Eva. “Oh, I can talk about this in connection with that!” This is what gives them a good impression and it has nothing to do with how the old fans perceive it. The director seems to have a dedicated person in charge of communicating and negotiating with the outside, but now he wants the critics to communicate with the fans about Shin-Eva. As long as he doesn't speak for himself, he can correct their interpretations later based on the "misunderstandings" of the people in between himself and his fans. This is a very Japanese-style system of surmising feelings, a system of authority that is formed when only a limited number of cronies are informed of the true intentions of the president. If I talk about it in too much detail, right-winged Yakuza will show up very soon, so to make it short, it is an indigenous control structure unique to Japan that originated from the "Mikado behind the bamboo blind". This time the director was very conscious of that, and I was able to see that Eva, who was a challenger, has become an authority that does not tolerate any criticism.

And what fan from the past could enjoy watching the endless battle scenes after Shinji returns to Wunder in the middle of the film? One after another, the sister ships of Wunder appear--there's almost no difference in appearance, but Ritsuko is able to guess their names the moment they appear. Right after the line "I'm pretty sure there's a fourth ship," the fourth ship comes crashing upon them from underneath, with no intention other than to make us laugh, right? As well as the repeated tenseless bombardment fight with no description of damage no matter how many artillery shells are hit, and it's quite painful being poured Asuka and Mari's Me-Strong Battles which are already enough by the time of Q, continuously down my throat like a goose with a funnel in its mouth. There's no way to synchronize my feelings with the screen, and it just creates an atmosphere as if the story is going on with the unattractive super-robot action that I pointed out in Q. It's no use pointing out, but the repair and supply problems of Wille side in a world where the industry has been destroyed were shown in the farming village part, though it was inadequate. But those of NERV side, an organization of only a man and an old man, was completely thrown away.

The last part of the story about the Human Instrumentality Project is like a fanzine where Gendou, Asuka, Kaworu, and Rei are lined up in a row and complemented in turn and then dismissed, whereas EOE was a total complement through Shinji. The director has tried to upgrade his framework by borrowing them from EOE and has failed miserably. Someone who has created works by putting his emotion and flair into a copy has dabbled in copying his own work. As a result, he had to confront his own sensibilities from when he was young and had to compare the old and the new by his old audience. Frankly speaking, only the techniques have been traced, the sound and the screen have become gorgeous, but the emotion and the sense have deteriorated. The face of the giant Ayanami that was replaced with a live-action one -- probably based on the face acting of Shinji's voice actor, and the "untested ordeal" of her tweet means this -- appears in the background like a gold folding screen in the high sand at a Japanese wedding reception. You're getting tired of all this, and you're not making it seriously, are you? The battle between Eva Unit01 and Eva Unit13 in Tokyo-III, which I expressed my anxiety about before the film's release, is a scene where the company's CG team can't produce what the director expects and he is so frustrated that he has the same mindset as in the final two episodes of the TV version, "I'd rather get a minus than a red", and after that, it became like a gag scene, including Eva fights in Misato's apartment and Shinji's school classroom, as if he was staged them in desperation. The side-shooting screenshot of the little Wunder charging at the head of the giant Ayanami is a picture of ”Cho Aniki (Japanese STG)” itself, and it's also meant to be funny, right? It's a series of loose, sloppy, and tenseless scenes that can't be compared to EOE.

What the hell have the CG team been doing for the past nine years, getting paid with no progress and making Eva look like an outdated piece of crap? Didn't anyone have the chivalrous spirit of the Showa era like "Don't embarrass our boss!"? Don't be so relieved when you get the green light! The director has just given up on you! There were a few scenes where the person at the top of the editing and collage, who has been making the coolest pictures, was not given as much good material as he used to be and seemed to make desperate staging in a way that he would never have given the green light in the past. It's been more than 10 years since Xapa was established, but I guess they don't have enough talent to meet the director's vision. Perhaps because of this, the conclusion of the film is exactly the same as the old one, that the director has no choice but to use his personal feelings to finish Eva, but the film ends up being a self-imitation of "Sincerely Yours". It is sad to see a person who "surpasses the original by putting his heart and soul into the copy" start to copy his own past works on the big screen of the theater, because he has become a big name in the animation world after reaching the age of 60, and there are no others left to be copied. However, right after "Komm, süsser Tod" started playing in the old movie, the scene where the titles of each episode and the reverse side of Cels were played in succession was projected on the wall of the studio using a projector -- the title of the new movie was added. It made me mad and thought, "Don't touch my EOE with the dirty hands of the merchant. I'll kill you."

The last things that the man who "transfers his own life onto films" presented in his costly self-published private novel were a naked confession of his own mental history up to the point where he met his wife, which he temporarily entrusted to Gendou, and the words "I think I loved you" and "I loved you" exchanged between himself and the former lover who could not be together and themselves who had separate spouses, just a reckoning of the muddled love affair that existed behind the scenes of EOE. I half-jokingly said that the distance between the director and Asuka's voice actor was important for the end of Eva, but it turned out to be true in a different way. During the recording session, Asuka's voice actor was told by the director, "I'm glad Miyamura is Asuka," which sent chills down my spine as it conveyed the horror of a creator who doesn't hide everything about his life and relationships and uses them to create his works.

In the scene where Shinji says "I liked you too" to the adult Asuka, who is wearing a tight latex suit and drawn in a more realistic character design (making us aware of the cosplay by Asuka's voice actor), while she is lying on the EOE beach, I thought "You guys should do this in a coffee shop or something between recording sessions! Don't make us watch middle-aged man and woman having unpleasant conversations on the big screen of the theater!", I almost screamed out. I think that's the scary part, the director's one-sided love for Asuka's voice actor is falsified by having the character say that she liked him, as if it was a mutual love. The director's statement at the beginning of the pamphlet says that he started working on the sequel right after Evangelion 2.0 without hesitation, using the worldview of "Q". I'm not trying to quote the line "You can change the reality you don't like by getting on Eva.", but it's not as if he's trying to cover up the fact, but he really believes that using his strong imagery, and it made me feel a bit chilly that there was no one around to correct his misconceptions.

At the end of Human Instrumentality Project, I wondered if the fact that a senior member of the movie industry had praised the shooting of EOE by flipping Cels over as a "tremendous deconstruction" was still fresh in his mind. This time, too, it was postponed after postponement, and even though the makings have been done in time, he showed the other side of the production with line drawings and roughs. The reason it was so innovative was that it was the first time anyone had tried it then, and now, 25 years later, it's just a rut. It's disgusting that everyone is praising the master's strange drawing habit and saying, "Oh yeah, that's it, that's it." As I've said before, it's like "defecating in a sixty-nine," which was successful because the first partner happened to be a scatologist. The expression of EOE was sharp and ”Rock’n’‐roll”, but Shin-Eva's "fun of anime images" has gone into the realm of traditional art, like slow "Gagaku".

The director hadn't decided who Mari Makinami was for a long time -- he was so indifferent to her that he threw the actor's acting plan to a sub-director -- but with Shin-Eva, he's changed her into an equal to Moyoco Anno, his wife. In other words, the flashy battle in the middle of the film, which is unimportant to many viewers, is revealed to have been a very pleasant pretend play for the director, in which he has his former love and his current wife fight on his favorite robots. Once again, we are shown the director's so-what-attitude, which has not progressed even a millimeter since "I'm an asshole," and which he can complete his work only by masturbation. So it's no wonder that they couldn't depict the extremely simple catharsis of Shinji's great success with Eva Unit01, which is what most of the old fans want. Because a robot with a pathetic old man on board can't get an erection due to impotence, let alone masturbation!　Oops, excuse me, sir.

And as I said before, it's time to realize that the English language has become so popular in Japan that it's become lame. You use Infinity, Another, Additional, Advanced, Commodity, and Imaginary, just because it sounds cool to you, right?　Everyone criticized the naming "Final Impact", but I never thought I'd see the time when I'd faint from the lack of taste and coolness in Evangelion, such as Another Impact, Additional Impact.

And the ending, with the wedding report in a live-action aerial shot of the director's hometown, newbie fans are screaming that it is like, "They're doing a very positive version of the old "Return to Reality!". But I felt it was too empty and cynical because it was intended to be read that way by the director. It depicts only the elation of marriage, and the pain of getting along with a partner and his or her family with different values is cut off (well, maybe Q was expressing the hardship of married life......). But isn't the emotional weight of a marriage report much higher when you meet your partner's parents?　The fact that he ended the movie by showing his own hometown instead of his wife's hometown leaves me with the impression that he's definitively an egotistical geek through and through. "You may have graduated from a good university and are making good money in the city, but if you're not married and don't have children, aren't you somehow humanly flawed?" After 25 years, Evangelion, which was such a forward-thinking Sci-Fi, is now completely in sync with the earthly ethics of Showa-era's farmers and farm horses. "I got married and it saved my life. I don't know about you, but why don't you try?" You can think what you want, but if you want to convey it as a message of salvation, you have to express it in the content of your work, not in your own talk.

I've been married for 20 years, I have two children, both of whom are about to reach the age of adulthood, I've paid off the mortgage on my home, and I'm finally at the end of raising my children, but all of that is just an outer shell of a social skin that has nothing to do with my true nature or where my soul is! There's no connection between what kind of life an individual lives in the real world and the Sci-Fi sense of wonder, in fact, there shouldn't be any connection! If you're a science fiction fan, take a page from the great Arthur C. Clarke! I was a nerd with a negative value of 100, but when I got married, I gradually poured the "common-sense values" of the Showa era into myself, and now I'm a true man with no negative value? Don't write such pathetic fiction proudly! Listen, what you presented to the audience at the end was the same thing that someone would say to you, "You seedless stallion!" It's the same kind of unethical and vulgar message that you shouldn't be giving! The old Eva became a classic of Japanimation, and no one was able to properly scold you, or you keep away those who tried, and the result of this is directly reflected in the ending of Shin Eva!　You've reached your 60th birthday and you only have such poor social common sense, damn it!

I'm sorry, I was so excited that I lost my control a little bit, just a little bit. I think the director is relying a little too much on his wife, who is ultimately a stranger on, to be his laison d'etre (lol). If they were to break up in the future, it would certainly be the soil for the next Eva, the content and development of which is completely predictable, but that is no longer my concern. I wonder if his wife doesn't like the fact that he's mentally dependent on her like this, and that it's being shown on screens all over the country. If it were me, I'd be furious, but since she's a creator, I guess she understands how he feels. Ignoring the other person's feelings and continuing to force what he believes to be love on her, thinking that it will make her happy, seems to me that there has been no progress at all since the way he treated his girlfriend 25 years ago. The person I want to hear from the most right now is not the self-proclaimed Eva fans who are looking at each other from the side and giving positive feedback in celebration of the final episode, but his wife. If the director had a child, he would not have been able to distinguish between his own ego and that of the child, and would have doted on his child, making a documentary film about his or her growth, but would most likely have turned into a controlling and poisonous parent in his or her adolescence. And he animated his feelings for his child who was rebelling against him, without the child's permission, considering it as a one-sided redemption for the child, and the child who was exposed to the whole country about their home life would have distanced from his father more and more.

In the end, Evangelion did not become a product like Gundam, but rather a robot animation that was the director's weird personal novel. The repeated use of the word "job" in the film has stuck in my mind, but in order for the studio to survive, it had to make Evangelion a product in this new series, and I'm sure that was the initial motivation behind the production of these new films. Your real "job" was to make Evangelion the same as Gundam, to protect the people who came to you because they loved Evangelion. Years from now, I can see a future where Xapa will be like Ghibli, behead the staff and continue as a copyright management company. The director, who didn't want to be embarrassed as a creator by a new challenge adopted the safe way -- I can't believe that I have to use the word "safe" for Evangelion -- to end the new series that relied on EOE only for himself, not for the future of the people who came to admire him. That's what Shin Evangelion is all about.

The good part? The fact that he didn't bring Shin Ultraman trailer at the end of the film makes me think he has grown up a bit. If you're declaring "Farewell, All Evangelions" with the intention of hurting, disappointing, and disinterested old fans like me, then your malice is unfathomable, and that's quite a feat. Brilliantly, your intentions have permanently killed a part of me that used to be an Eva fan.

As horrifying as it is to imagine, it must have crossed the director's mind to reschedule the film and set a new release date for March 11. The only reason he didn't do so is not that he has grown up to be a sensible adult, but rather because the idea of linking Evangelion 3.0 with the Great East Japan Earthquake was a fact that is too painful for him to make it public.

Ten years ago today, many lives were lost and Evangelion was destroyed.

This fact will never disappear, no matter how much the director denies and covers up with the "true" history. If there is any mission left for me as a fan, it is to continue to pass on this fact to future generations as a storyteller. It is a huge loss for Japanese fiction that the end of the great Evangelion has become a self-recovery work of the great failure of the reboot affected by the Great East Japan Earthquake, and that the potential of the great Evangelion has been consumed by the self-defense of someone who cannot admit his own mistakes, and I sincerely regret it. Shin Evangelion will be forever cursed by the dead, who yearn to see the sequel of Evangelion 2.0, and the living, who yearn to see the sequel of Evangelion 2.0.

This curse will be completed when it spreads, arrives, and is burned by the powers that be as a false history. I pray that my thoughts will reach him!

#evangelion 3.0+1.0

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lostonehero · 3 years

Text

Wally is certain q-Victor at this point is going crazy, or he is uncomfortable where they are working. Its been a month of trying to find the source of the ash smell behind the church, and even with all the soil samples deep ditches, and even several rainstorms the smell persists.

"Are you sure you're ok, you keep looking behind you like something is going to get you." Wally sighs filling the hole back up. "Not everyone is out to get you even with what conspiracies you believe in."

Wally coukd barely hear the response since Victor seemed more standoffish, and small out of his hero persona. Granted the man was taller then him, he just looked like he was lost sometimes. He was also jumpy, not in the way a paranoid person was, but more like a survivor of abuse was.

"I'm not fond of churches." Victor says in a quiet voice.

Wally pauses not wanting to tempt fate asking why, but the curiosity ate away at his hesitation. "Why? Did your family make you go every Sunday?"

Victor turned around and approached Wally, and suddenly Wally felt really small and scared.

"I didn't have a family. My mom was a victim of rape and she was forced to give me up and sent away." Victor pauses seemingly unsure of what to say next. "The church I grew up in wasn't the best." He swallows and his face is a mix of sadness and fear.

Wally was taken aback, he didn't expect for Victor to tell him something that personal. He really was getting more nervous feeling like he shouldn't know this. He opens his mouth trying to think of the right words and he can't. He can only ask a question. "Want to get some food?"

.........

Victors thoughts were racing a mile a minute. Why did he tell Wally that? Why did he even feel comfortable enough to talk about himself? They were coworkers, not friends. He didn't have friends, just a aunt and a uncle who found him by accident. Why did he tell him, and why did he agree to a meal after the fact, they both stunk of ash with no idea why, and this isn't the first time Wally has asked him to eat after a day of searching. Well first he chalked it up to Wally having a very fast metabolism due to his speed, but it wasn't just food sometimes he asked to see a movie, or even watch him song in hub city.

Wally was planning something for him, and he didn't know why he was following along. It could be a trap for all he knew. Vic sighed and took another bite from his burger.

"So Vic do you have any new theories why the ash smell persist?" Wally asks breaking the silence Vic was using to stew in his own thoughts.

He looks up swallowing and just sighs. "It doesn't make any sense we have looked at every angle. Even doused the entire place with water. We know that the smell stops in a 33 feet diameter around the church, yet the church...." he stops as a uncomfortable feeling drenched him. "The church isn't even corrupt as far as I researched, they even chip in for taxes which they are exempt from."

Wally gives Victor a look. "You looked into the church?"

"I don't trust the church as a institution, nor as a separate entity." Victor growls trying to get his thoughts in order before he spoke again. "I told you I have had bad experiences with them."

Wally pauses and takes a French fry from Victor's plate and slowly munches on it. "So we are back to square one?"

Vic nods and pushes his plate away leaving his burger half finished. He didn't feel comfortable with a mystery that didn't lead anywhere even with a lot of effort. It didn't sit right with him. He looked up and watched Wally eat his food that he left. This had become common place after a long day together, he didn't know if he like that this was becoming a habit.

..........

Wally was on watchtower duty and he swore he could feel eyes on him at all times. He couldn't understand how Vic handles the rumor mill that spins just about him. Now Wally is the talk of the tower, the flash and question working together for over a month now. Everyone is treating this like a scandal.

"Wally how many times do I need to tell you to keep your elbows off the control table." A stern voice alerts Wally to the possibility that the heavy sighing wasn't his own.

"Oh Bats hey I wasn't slacking off." He gives a hearty fake laugh

Batman for all his dark persona sounded more like a disappointed dad dealing with unruly children. "Wally why have you been working with the Question? I understand the smell of ash in that area is concerning but there is no source and you shouldn't have gotten him involved."

Wally shrinks back feeling like a kid getting a lecture on why smoking is bad for you. He takes a deep breath then gives a heavy sigh. "Just because you have no information on him like you do on everyone else in the league doesn't mean he is dangerous besides I actually know his name and face." As soon as that came out of his mouth he wanted to stuff the words back in.

"You saw his face?"

"What no, you misheard Bats." Wally failed trying to lie getting the attetion of the boy scout in the room.

"You mean excuse my rudeness, that crackpot theorist. You actually saw his face Wally?" Superman came closer to the pair inserting himself into the conversation.

Wally wished he was anywhere but here at this moment. "You know what I forgot something or other.... uh bye." And he ran for his life to the cafeteria spotting Vic sitting with the three heros he seem to have befriended.

.......

"Que so is it true you've been hanging out with the flash?" Huntress smiles under her mask enjoying the new gossip around the watchtower.

Victor looked up, but nobody could tell in his mask. "Helena we are working on a case of a ask smell that lingers even after rain. I highly doubt the rumors are as scandalous as you seem to think."

Black canary didn't seem to buy this answer from what Victor could see. His eyes then trailed to Green arrow who looked like he was trying not to seem interested but he was failing at that. Vic gave a heavy sigh.

"Oh so there is more?" Helena smirks. "Spill the tea Que, I didn't know you swung for the other team."

If they could see his face they woukd see confusion. "This isn't a sports game Helena, we are coworkers."

Now all three of them were giving him a look. He didn't bring up the concept of sports into the conversation. Why were they acting like he was the crazy one?

"Que that isn't what she meant." Dinah gave a odd look. "She meant that you are into men."

"I don't understand why my homksexuality is a part of the conversation now." Vic sighs rubbing his temples. "When I asked for help on this issue I didn't think you guys would make it a conversation on my sexuality."

Victor just sighed and got up. "I appreciate the confirmation that you also smell the ash in that area, but besides that you guys aren't helping." He frowns under his mask. "I thought I was clear that I enjoyed men when I rejected your offer for a date Helena."

"I honestly just thought I wasn't your type, I guess I wasn't completely off." Helena sighs sliding a 20$ to Oliver.

Dinah mirrored the action, and Oliver just smiles. "See i can bet proper Question. By the way are we still on for sports this weekend?"

"You mean a loud argument over the game that consist of nothing but physical combat masked poorly as a popular staple of American culture to make the black market rich with gambling, then yes." Vic nods and leaves but smacks into Wally.

"Shoot sorry V-Question yeah Question I'mlateandreallyneedtogo." He speeds off leaving Victor's notes on the ground where they fell.

The three heroes behind Victor shared a look of shock when he turned to face them. It only took the beginning of another name to the Question for there faces to light up in recognition.

"YOU GAVE HIM YOUR NAME." The three shouted causing the cafeteria to erupt in loud conversation.

Victor had many things to regret now, more so half his notes are covered in a spilled soda making them useless, and he needed to find a new lead, and maybe take a break from staying in the watchtower.

........

Its been a week since that incident, Victor was in his own apartment trying to salvage his notes. He was exhausted more so then normal. Maybe it was because he hasn't been sleeping, or maybe its because his own skin feels tight from suppressing his demonic side, and not letting his other parts out. He stands up and just walks to his bed and faceplants into his bed.

He hear his window open, and he didn't really care for who came through it. "Still punishing yourself, or did you forget to release your other form again."

"Micheal get out of my apartment." Victor really did not need a visit from his uncle.

Micheal takes a feather and stabs it into Victor's back causing black horns sprout and curl like ram horns on Victor's skull along with black spines down his spine to a long black tail with a purple flame on the end, which wasn't anything to the large boney black wings that erupted from his back knocking over his lamp, and theory board creating a mess in the surprisingly spotless apartment.

"Feeling better tired eyes?" Micheal says taking out a flask. "So I actually followed up with the thing you asked me to do, and what I can tell you is." He takes a large swig of his flask. "Is that you are fucking lucky you haven't been caught."

That actually got Victor to sit up curling his wings around him like a cloak. "Caught? Micheal what are you talking about?"

"Well if you ask me there's been many angels on high alert in that area, something uh something about the realms being thin or some shit." Micheal shrugs.

Victor sighs and cringes at the smell of alcohol coming off the angel. "Why should I believe you? You're nothing but a drunkard who dwells on the past."

Micheal raises his brow and gets a crude smile on his face. "Oh my you met someone there."

"He's just a coworker from the watchtower nothing special." Victor lays back down

And the smile leaves Micheal's face. "Right well uh since I'm here want to play some chess?"

Victor glances back at the drunk, and just sighs. Micheal was a ruined man when they met, Gabriel was a much better conversationalist, and wasn't so crude. They were the closest he ever got to a family he guessed, but it still hurt that they still hid things from him like he was some sort of child who hasn't gone through ages of abuse and had to grow up fast. They only found him by accident on the street.

"Kid i can see the gears moving in your head." Micheal forces him to sit up and summons a chess board and pieces and a table to set it down on. "If I win you eat and shower, you win I'll leave."

Victor frowns, it was always the same bet with him, and he always let Micheal win. Maybe he did have a soft spot for the drunk even if he reeks. Besides he gave him some good information regarding this case. He needed to be more careful, and maybe use Wally in his place that could work better for both to solve the mystery. Thats a great idea he should inform Wally at once. When did he start calling Wally, Wally, and not the flash or coworker in his mind.

"Checkmate." Michael's voice threw Victor back into reality. "What kind of food you want kid?"

"What? Oh uh something healthy i guess." Victor hums getting lost in his thoughts again.

Micheal gave a look to the younger man full of concern and maybe a bit if hope.

.......

Micheal might be a drunk, and desperately wants to be fallen, but he still cared for his nephew. He watched Victor invest himself in a text conversation with someone he had gotten trust enough to give his name, face, and even number to. Maybe he was finally able to move foward and trust.

"So who the lucky man you're after." Micheal smiled seeing Vic sputter and hiss his wings spreading out in protest embarrassment.

"He is a coworker we've been looking at that area you keep telling me is off limits, so Wally investigates and I take the the research." Vic huffs and looks away.

Micheal knew he was only one of the few who was close enough to Victor to get him to feel safe enough to get riled up. However this new man in the picture has got Victor to keep a stupid smile on his face. He knows its been about a week since his last visit, but Victor looks healthier, well he looks like he has been eating better. Without the benefit of his inhuman nature he would be skin and bone.

Micheal sighs to himself taking another drink, his thoughts drifting to the boys mother his sister. He still hasn't even told him who his mother is, does this make him bad? Probably. But when Victor told them both that he was forced to watch the tapes of his mom being violated and giving birth, that alone made his blood boil. So they look after Victor, they may of found him a bit too late but hey better then nothing.

"What no witty retort? You seem off today Micheal, you've been staring at your flask more then drinking it." Victor frowns taking the empty plates and cleaning them.

Micheal sighs. "This place looks too clean Victor, its like you don't even live here." He looks back towards Victor who has a frown on his face.

"Are you actually worried that I'm looking into the ash place?"

Micheal wasn't expecting that question, nor the quiet meek tone Victor used when asking. "Well yeah everybody up in the clouds is freaking out about it. I just don't want to see you in the crossfire. A human like your so called coworker wouldn't matter to them. You being well mostly demon however would." Micheal grimaced his flask is empty. He could just refill it but he didn't have the energy today.

Micheal watched Victor pause drying off the dishes. "Should I thank you for caring?"

Micheal shakes his head "nah I'm just trying to be your guardian angel" he gives a crude smile making Victor give a small one in return.

Thats all he needed before he headed to another bar for the night. "Goodnight kid"

Victor just waved him goodbye and shut the window closed behind him.

#victor sage #vic sage #the question #question #the flash #wally west #dcau #dc comic #dc #superman #batman #green arrow #black canary #huntress #long post

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masked-buffoon · 3 years

Text

Chapter 7: An oxidising dream of a world (Part 3)

Warnings: violence, mentions of torture, abuse

Author notes: it’s been 7 chapters and that character had yet to make an appearance... That mistake is now fixed. Hope you enjoy!

I made sure myself that there was not an ounce of poison remaining between the men's teeth and checked the knots of the rope that was tying them. If it were only for me, I would have chained them to the wall, but the men I employed were not satisfied with this option — to them, torture would be unnecessary. They did not look harmful enough in their eyes. I felt uneasy.

"I'll go back upstairs to call Dazai-san and tell him about our success." I said with a slight smile "Get ready to hear faint praises and have a small income of money. I'll personally request for it —"

I cut myself before finishing my sentence and the henchmen refrained from cheering up. A frown darkened my expression, and I crossed my arms as someone entered.

"Akutagawa." I spat his name like a curse upon seeing him "What brings you here?"

He was the "dog" Dazai kept talking about. I had met him, once, after the incident against Q-kun, but it had gone horribly wrong. Akutagawa had demanded me to challenge him and, obviously, his ability Rashōmon was much stronger than mine, and his brutal force had been such I could not even have heard his thoughts in hope of predicting his upcoming moves, and he had crushed me like a mouse. It had been my utmost defeat... Ever since, when I walked past him in the corridors of the headquarters, he would send me contemptuous and envious looks; why was I, a weakling, the one our superior allowed by his side? Why did he not rather acknowledge him? These were questions I had asked myself as well, but, then, it had occurred to me that this person was especially violent toward our enemies. Killing was the way he thought Dazai would recognise his strength.

"I've heard Dazai-san had entrusted you with an important mission." He snapped back "Ogawa."

The way my name slipped on his tongue was no better than my own way of calling him. I raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so? Then you have good ears, for it is true. I was just on my way to calling him."

"How could he do that!" He huffed "You're an incompetent."

"Yet he did not give that mission to you." I snarled, going up "Do not mess with my work."

Upstairs, I dialled my superior's number and rejoiced when he picked up immediately. I looked around, making sure there was no one, and spoke through the device.

"Dazai...!" I felt a smile "We successfully caught three men from Mimic. They are not yet awake."

"Nice..." He chuckled darkly "Very nice. I'm coming right now. Wait for me in front of the torture room."

"Yes, Dazai. By the wa —"

I stared at my phone screen in disbelief, seeing he had hung up. I had not had time to warn him about Akutagawa's presence...

The executive smiled slightly as I saw him walk toward me. Politely, I bowed before him, before following him downstairs.

"The men worked really well." I told him "They were very efficient, obedient too."

"If this works out, I shall award them properly then." He agreed, guessing my thoughts without much trouble.

The sight we were welcomed with was not the one I was expecting; lying in large puddles of blood, the three men we had managed to take back to the Port Mafia had longed stopped breathing. Two of them had that peaceful expression only sleeping people had, and the last's face was disfigured by a grim smirk. I feared I understood...

"What happened there?" Dazai asked curtly, without even glancing at me.

I had not been invited to, but I stepped toward my previous targets, horrified, and noticed the wounds. Bullets, and something different.

"Akutagawa...!" I gasped, turning toward him.

"One of them woke up..." An underling explained, his voice trembling "He shot his comrades before we could do anything or even call Ogawa-san... Then, he turned toward us..."

"And I punished him." Akutagawa finished simply.

"You punished him?" My superior raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms "By killing him? The only source of information we had hardly managed to get?"

"This piece of trash did not deserve to live." He defended "I served your interests, Dazai-san...!"

"Ogawa-kun, come here." He called me.

My head hanging low, I reached his side, obeying his orders without questioning. I only let out a startled yelp when his feet flew toward his protege's stomach, kicking him toward the ground with a force I had not witnessed for at least a year.

"Now, pull out your gun." He demanded me "And shoot him."

"B-But —"

"Shoot him!" He yelled "This person stole your job! He ruined your efforts! Why don't you just take revenge?!"

Trembling, I did as I was told and grabbed one of my weapons by my side. I did dislike this boy in front of me, but never would I want to kill him. The irrational part of my mind shouted at me, demanded me to press the trigger, but the sane one, which controlled most of my actions, calmed my heartbeat down and requested me to think twice before doing something I could regret. Dazai did not expect me to harm him. He had been against my revenge when I had gone to kill my parents. I lowered my weapon and gave it to the executive.

"Forgive me, Dazai-san... Not only I cannot shoot him, but it is not my place to do such a thing. You alone should punish him..." I murmured, walking behind him.

"Is that so..." I could not hear the expected disappointment in his tone "Then it shall be as you say."

Three gunshots echoed in the dark room. Akutagawa had died without even a cry...

"Hoh~ See, when you put some effort into it?" Dazai mocked his subordinate.

"I had never succeeded before..." He defended poorly.

I glanced behind my shoulder, and saw he was well-alive. He had used his beast to swallow the space between him and the bullets... Somehow, I could not help feeling relieved.

"Your ability is not only for killing. Next time, it will be two kicks and five bullets." He warned, giving me my weapon back "Now, on to work. Let's see what those corpses can tell us. Ogawa-kun."

"Yes, Dazai-san." I followed him.

"We better hurry, or else, Odasaku will solve this case by himself..." He sighed, starting to look into the dead men's pockets.

"Isn't Oda Sakunosuke a mafioso who doesn't kill?" A henchman asked.

"If he can't do something so simple, he doesn't deserve to have your attention, Dazai-san...!" Akutagawa added.

I glanced at him, disapproving strongly.

"Oda is worth better than a man whose only competence is to kill...!" I argued.

"The fact one kills shall not get in the way of the friends I choose for myself." My superior said coldly "My, to think my own subordinates only think about killing... I advise you do not piss him off, Akutagawa-kun. Not only you will never be half as strong as he is, but if he is angry, a whole squadron won't be able to defeat him."

His protege let out a frustrated growl.

#bsd #bsd oc #bsd fanfic #bsd dazai #bsd imagines #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs oc #dazai osamu

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remywrites5 · 4 years

Note

Can you write something about harry and sirius godfather relationship

Remus had just finished putting Teddy down for the night when he went into his study and booted up his laptop. He clicked on Youtube and went to his favorite channel “Rebel without a Sprog.” A video had been uploaded earlier that day and Remus was anxious to watch it.

He clicked on it and sat back as it began to play. He turned the volume down a bit so it wouldn’t disturb Teddy who was sleeping down the hall. It seemed to be a Q&A video. Sirius, the person who ran the channel, came into view sitting in a large comfy looking chair. Their long dark hair had been braided to the side and they were wearing an off the shoulder grey oversized t-shirt and leggings. Their knee was up towards their chest, hugging it with a playful smile on their lips.

“Hi everyone!” Sirius said, giving a little wave. “It’s been awhile since we’ve done a Q and A video and some of you have been asking for one. Some of these might be repeats of other Q and A videos because I’m too lazy to go back and see what has already been asked.”

Sirius grabbed their phone and brought it up, resting it on their knee so they could read it. “The first question is what does Harry call me. I know being genderfluid might make the mum or dad moniker kind of tricky, but seeing as I’m not his mum or dad he just calls me Padfoot or Pads. It was a nickname James came up with when we were together at school and it just kind of stuck. I find that’s easier for me because I’m not looking to replace his parents so I don’t think mum or dad would ever truly feel like they fit me all that well.”

Sirius continued on – answering some questions about parenting. Remus tried to pay attention but he was distracted by Sirius and watching them as they talked. They had on some sort of lipstick that made their lips really shiny and Remus found he couldn’t look away. He would end up re-watching the video anyway like he did with all of Sirius’ videos.

He stopped being distracted when a question came up about Sirus’ love life. “Oh no, I hate this question but I’m going to answer it anyway. How do you balance raising a child on your own and having a love life?” Sirius exhaled loudly and stared at the camera for a moment. “So here’s the thing about this question, at least when it comes to me. Harry comes first – full stop. If it’s a choice between raising Harry right or finding love for myself, the choice is easy. It’s always going to be Harry. When James and Lily died they entrusted their son to me and that is not a task I take lightly. So right now I’m not dating. It’s difficult enough to find someone who is fine with me as I am without throwing in the fact that I’ve got a kid. Now if some gorgeous stranger wanted to show up and sweep me off my feet I’m not going to protest that. But if Harry doesn’t like whom I date then I wouldn’t date them because he’s my priority. I would never put my happiness over his. It just wouldn’t happen. Maybe I’m not the right person to ask this question to because as of right now I don’t balance it and I don’t date.”

Remus smiled to himself and played with one of his curls. No matter what kind of day he was having, watching Sirius’ videos always made him feel better. It hadn’t been easy going for the last year. Remus’ best friend Tonks was Aro and while she didn’t want a relationship, she had decided she wanted a child. She and Remus had sat down and had a good long discussion about it.

They decided they would do in vitro but Tonks wanted him to have shared custody of the child. Remus had agreed because he couldn’t say no to her, but he wasn’t even sure he wanted children. He had thought he was doing her a favor but he could see how the task of becoming a single mum was kind of daunting.

Since being born, Teddy would spend Wednesday through Saturday afternoon with Remus and then Saturday evening to Tuesday with Tonks. It was a good system so far but Remus realized quickly how wholly unprepared he was to be a father. One night Teddy had been screaming his head off and Remus had no idea why. He had eventually broken down into tears and neither of them had stopped until Teddy finally passed out from exhaustion of crying.

It was that night that Remus found Sirius’ videos, looking for any guidance on what the fuck he was doing with his son. While most of Sirius’ videos were on the silly side, they also had a lot of good information. And sometimes all Remus needed was something that made him smile.

One of his favorite videos was titled “How to tire out your Sprog!” and it began with Sirius and Harry yelling “Dance party!” What proceeded was three minutes of Sirius and Harry jumping around their living room and dancing like lunatics to The Ramones “I Wanna Be Sedated.” When the song ended, Harry collapsed on the sofa and Sirius got close to the camera. “Something like that,” they said with a wink before turning the camera off.

Remus had probably watched it a good thirty or forty times because it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen.

He clicked on the description of the Q&A video and saw that there was an email address along with all of Sirius’ social media handles. Before he could think better of it, he pulled up his email and copied the one from the video.

Hello,

I just wanted to reach out and let you know how much your videos mean to me. I bet you get this all the time from your adoring fans, but I’m a new single father, so finding your videos has been a godsend. I was a mess and really struggling but even if your videos didn’t apply to my situation (because my son is only a year old instead of four like Harry) your videos always make me smile. I don’t have any friends that are parents, except for my son’s mum, so watching your vlogs makes me feel a little less alone.

I guess this was all just a longwinded way of saying thank you.

So thank you,

Remus Lupin

Against his better judgment, he pressed send. Unable to sit there any longer because of his nerves, he shut his laptop and headed off to bed to get some sleep while he could.

***

It was three days later and Remus had mostly forgotten about his email sent to Sirius. He didn’t regret sending it but he was a little embarrassed about gushing his feelings to a complete stranger on the internet. Although he doubted that was something Sirius even checked themselves. They probably had a team of people to do stuff like that for them.

So when Remus got a response from Sirius’ email account, he assumed it would be some generic “thanks for being a fan” type of email. Instead when he opened it up he found a brief message but one still surprising.

Remus,

Harry and I will be at the London Zoo on Saturday if you and your son wanted to join us. We’ll meet you outside at noon if you’re keen. I hope you show up!

Sirius Black

Remus reread the email a good twenty times and then walked away from his laptop, rebooted it and checked again just to be sure. If he had lived with someone who could actually read he would make them read it just to be sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

He was definitely going to go to the zoo even if he was imagining that Sirius had emailed him. At the very least it would be a fun day at the zoo with his son. And there was always a chance that Remus’ crush might be there looking to spend time with him.

***

Remus held Teddy against his hip as he made his way from the car park at the zoo. As he walked towards the front entrance he could see that familiar head of long dark hair, pulled up into a messy bun, and he felt his heartbeat speed up. He couldn’t believe that they were really here, holding little Harry’s hand. They had on a crop top with a leather jacket and leggings. They made Remus feel wholly underdressed in his jeans and jumper.

Remus carefully approached and gave a small wave. “Hi, I’m Remus,” he introduced himself nervously. “And this is Teddy.”

“Hi Teddy!” Harry said, waving excitedly.

Sirius grinned at him. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” they said enthusiastically. “I was a little worried you wouldn’t show. I know my invitation was a little unconventional.”

“No, it was wonderful,” Remus said, adjusting Teddy who has slid slightly down his hip. “I was a little surprised you responded to me.”

Sirius’ smile widened. “Well your email was just so nice and sweet I couldn’t help it. Besides, it sounded like you could use some company, and well I don’t have too many people to hang out with besides Haz, so I figured we could both benefit. “

Remus ducked his head and felt himself blush slightly. “Did I come off that pathetic in my email?”

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Not at all,” they said, reaching out with their free hand and giving Remus’ arm a squeeze. “If you’re pathetic then I’m pathetic too.”

“Just a couple of people with no friends,” Remus said, chuckling softly and trying not to freak out that Sirius had just touched him.

“Can we go in, Pads?” Harry asked, tugging on Sirius’ jacket.

“Of course Sprog!” Sirius said, gesturing towards the door. “Lead the way!”

Teddy was squirming in Remus’ arms so he let his son down. Teddy immediately went over to Harry, curious about the older boy. Harry took Teddy’s hand and they began to walk together inside.

“Are you going to hold my hand?” Sirius asked, holding their hand out and wiggling their fingers playfully.

Remus felt his face get hot as he took Sirius’ hand. Sirius beamed at him approvingly and they went inside the zoo. Remus kept a close eye on Teddy as the zoo was fairly crowded. Harry was so good with Teddy, making sure not to walk too fast so Teddy could keep up. Teddy was a quiet kid and he watched Harry in fascination while Harry pointed things out to him.

“You know, I was hoping you’d be cute,” Sirius said, giving Remus’ hand a squeeze.

“Oh?” Remus inquired, raising an eyebrow at him. “Is that what I am?”

“Extremely,” Sirius said, shooting Remus a wink.

“Do you always say things like that?” Remus asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Sirius shrugged. “Only if you like it,” they said, gently pressing against Remus for a moment. “If you don’t then I’ll stop.”

“I like it,” Remus confessed, releasing Sirius’ hand in favor of putting his arm around their bare waist and holding onto them. “And I’m a little awed that I’m here with you right now.”

Sirius beamed at Remus, their smile dazzling just like the rest of them. They slid their hand into the back pocket of Remus’ jeans as they pressed close to each other. They chatted quietly while keeping an eye on their kids. Remus told Sirius about Tonks and how it had resulted in Teddy. Sirius told Remus about James and Lily while getting a little sad when he spoke about the car crash that had taken them. For a fun trip to the zoo it seemed like some heavy topics of discussion. Remus felt comfortable around Sirius, which was surprising for how much he fancied them, but there was something about Sirius that put him at ease. Before Remus knew it they had looped around the zoo, making sure to see pretty much everything. Sirius had their phone out and documented a fair bit of their outing, after asking Remus if it was okay.

By the end Teddy was tired of walking so Remus picked him up again, sad to be separated from Sirius. They stopped in the gift shop to get stuffed animals for the kids, an owl for Harry and a sloth for Teddy. While the kids picked out the animals they wanted, Sirius and Remus exchanged numbers. Remus wasn’t sure if it was to set up playdates for the kids of playdates for them. He hoped it at least was both. They were heading towards the exit and Remus wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye.

Harry tugged on Remus’ jumper. “Remus, can you and Teddy come back to our house for ice cream?”

Sirius snorted and put their hands on their hips. “And who said you’re getting ice cream, sprog?”

Harry looked a bit sheepish. “Can they, Pads?”

“It’s okay with me.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Remus said quickly, not wanting to be an imposition no matter how badly he wanted to spend more time with Sirius.

“Ice cream!” Teddy said, kicking his feet excitedly.

“Well I guess that’s settled then,” Sirius said, smirking triumphantly. They grabbed their car keys out of their pocket. “I’ll text you the address. Race to our house!”

“Yeah!” Harry shouted, running with Sirius towards their car.

“Run daddy!’ Teddy yelled, tugging on Remus’ collar.

Remus shook his head and walked at a brisk pace to the car. He strapped Teddy into his seat and felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He copied the address and put it into his GPS, knowing that there was no way they were going to beat Sirius and Harry there.

As predicted, when they pulled up, Sirius’ car was already in the driveway. Sirius and Harry were just getting out and Harry was jumping up and down excitedly and waving to them as they pulled in behind Sirius’ car.

The moment he released Teddy from his car seat, Teddy was off like a shot, chasing after Harry and following him inside. Remus put his hands in his pockets and walked up the driveway to join Sirius by their car.

Sirius reached out and put a hand on Remus’ chest. “Before we go in, I’d really like to kiss you.”

Remus ducked his head and smiled. “Why would you want that?”

Sirius fisted their hand on Remus’ jumper and tugged him forward. “It’s difficult for me to find someone that I actually want to date. Either my gender is a problem or Harry is a problem. But we’ve been together for hours already and you haven’t misgendered me once and you don’t seem to mind the idea of Harry. You’re cute and sweet and you’re a good father. Why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?”

Remus reached out and held Sirius by the hips. “I think you’re wonderful and Harry is wonderful. And if we want to kiss we better do it soon before our kids destroy your house.”

Sirius laughed softly and they both leaned towards each other, their lips meeting in a brief, sweet kiss. Remus pulled back before it went too far and Sirius chased his lips. Remus gave them another quick kiss for a promise of more before sliding his arm around their waist and they walked inside together.

***

Remus got home from work and booted up his laptop. Teddy was with Tonks and it was Sirius’ posting day. Remus brought up his channel and pressed play on the video.

“Hi everyone! So in my last video someone asked me about dating with a kid and while I wasn’t lying in that video, my answer has changed. I think the key to finding the right person is looking for someone that can respect you and your relationship with your child. I feel like I’ve found that person. I don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s all very new, but I felt like it was important that I amend what I’d said. Now here’s the four of us, Harry and I, my man and his son at the zoo. Warning that it is cute as hell. Enjoy!”

Remus watched the video of them all together and it made him feel warm and happy all over to see the four of them together. Cute little clips of Harry and Teddy admiring the animals, pressing their little faces against the bars or glass. After ice cream, Harry and Teddy had both passed out from their long, exciting day. It had given Sirius and Remus a chance to snog, talk and decide what they wanted from each other. He clicked on the description and saw Sirius had mentioned him in it. As soon as he read it his face broke out into the widest smile.

His name is Remus, he’s gorgeous and he’s mine.

#wolfstar #i write things #hpwriter123 #long post #fluff #genderfluid character #genderfluid sirius #youtube au #modern au #aro Tonks

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lizzybeth1986 · 4 years

Text

Quick Thoughts on The White People Waambulance, Chapters 18 and 19

• Sorry this QT is coming out so late, guys. I regret to say my heart wasn't really in this one...and it hasn't been with regards to my QTs for a while. This one might be my last, unless we count me finishing them off for the (not rewritten) Book 1. It's been two years since I began, and the last two books made the process honestly really exhausting.

• I clubbed the two finale chapters together because I really couldn't be bothered to do separate ones for both.

• In fact...I won't be doing any of what I have been doing for my QTs so far. I'll be honest to you: I usually do multiple replays, the last few in tandem with the other routes on YouTube. I go through the scenes one by one. I keep note of differences and variations and carefully choose screenshots that will reflect the gist of the scenes.

But I couldn't be bothered to do any of that this time. I pressed the "continue" and then the "end book" buttons as soon as I finished my first run of those chapters. I'm drained, guys. And I don't think I'll be coming back to the TRH series at least, not even for Liam or Hana or Kiara. Maybe my mind will change by the time the second book comes out (update from present-day Lizzy: no it didn't) but I'm not counting on it. And you'll probably know why by the time this QT ends.

• TW: Discussions on racism, both fandom racism and from within the narrative. The last section of this QT is going to be...pretty heavy, guys.

There's also going to be a lot of anti-Drake, anti-Olivia, anti-Madeleine and anti-Penelope content here, so if you like any of those characters...well, you've been warned.

The ensuing post is going to be LONG, and I know a lot of you have good reasons not to deal with long posts, so here's a tldr:

1. The TRR writing team stick to their weird obsession for jobless whiny white men.

2. Read this book once and you'll feel like you're drowning in an ocean of white tears.

3. WOC continue to get scraps from the writing team, even as they boast of being diverse and inclusive. In fact, they're regularly treated as mere tokens, exotic eye-candy or non-entities, while their behaviour is measured on standards that are very different from their white counterparts (this happens in other books as well).

...okay I wasn't expecting for the tldr to be long too 😅

• Me @ my QTs then:

Me @ my QTs now:

• I'll probably be finishing off my TRR Book 1 QT series when I'm a little less burnt out, but for now this is where it ends, I guess.

• So...here is to summarize the last two chapters: Accident happens. LIs mad. Paparazzi sad (but largely get away scot-free). MC and baby safe. At the Council meeting Kiara slam dunks the murderer of Liam's mother with the style and elegance this fandom still refuses to acknowledge her for. The MC is nice to her for like half a second. Last Apple Ball. New clothes for everyone as if they had a Diwali bumper sale the week before or something. Godfrey is somehow responsible for the security (who thought this was a good idea) and seeing the Auvernese Royal Guard outside our doors is SO not-creepy.

We get to see if we impressed our Auvernese and Monterriso allies enough. Bradshaw compliments Kiara for like half a second. Olivia sees the dude from the Q&A session (Jin) at the Ball and (if you pay) you get to see her catch, interrogate and lowkey flirt with him.

Leona and Bianca make it to the ball (where is Bartie Sr. Where are Xinghai and Lorelei. Where is Regina) and this time the narrative makes sure to shoehorn a plot element into their presence here: Leona is there so we can do something about the reveal that she constantly ratted us out to the press for money. ("oh look! Walker Ranch was plot related after all! We have a reason (albeit a flimsy, paper-thin one) to set 9 whole chapters in Texas. Even though we had to literally come up with this bit in the last minute, because really - all we wanted to do as a writing team was nut collectively over Drake Walker")

(I also can't believe that between the time I wrote this line and the time this QT finally came out - they literally found a way to re-fucking-write Book 1 so they could nut collectively over Drake Walker earlier)

• Why were we required to dress down in Texas for these assholes when they couldn't even bother to dig up their Sunday best for this ball??? Oh right, they're Walkers. Hypocrisy runs in the family.

• Good thing is you can choose to banish Leona if you want. She's angry about it for a second then accepts it and leaves. But like what is the point of banishing her when she hardly even bothers to come there in the first place? She's not going to be bawling her eyeballs out saying "boohoo, they threw me out of this country that I spent like five minutes in and never even wanted to visit in the first place".

• Bianca is present at the end of Chapter 18 mainly to deliver to us a plot point at the very last minute: a clue about where we could find proof about Queen Eleanor's murder. Bianca mentions conversations Jackson had with her, and a secret room somewhere. Her leaving the palace and abandoning her children is addressed, and the MC gets to berate her. It's...short.

• Why this important piece of information was given to Bianca when idk LEO could have pitched in and spoken about it, no one knows. Oh wait. I keep forgetting. Bianca is Drake's mother. That's why.

• Okay so Amalas valiantly found out about Leona's involvement in this and gave us tangible proof via photographs. But we're kiiiinda forgetting that the scrutiny and privacy invasions were happening even before we hauled ass to Walker Ranch? Who was responsible for those? Who was the "source" that the Chapter 17 paparazzo was referring to, the one that mentioned they would triple the price for more photos of the Queen/Mother of the Heir (Coz like why would she do that. She's already broke)? How did Amalas come by this information so easily and why was she really that invested? Why is no one asking these questions? Why isn't the group asking these questions? Why are they stupid. Jesus, they're all so stupid. HOW ARE YOU SO STUPID, SQUAD.

• Shortly after they get rid of Leona and Bianca, the rest of the group give the happy couple a choice of toys for the nursery - and that's our final nursery purchase. You can either go for the corgi - which is on brand for the series by now I think - or the lion, which is seen as very Cordonian.

• More party shenanigans. We're nice to Kiara for another half-second. Kiara arranges a photoshoot for us. The team can't pretend to give a fuck anymore about its fans so they will ask us to pay for an edit that I've seen millions of edit-creators in the fandom do wayyyy better. Like let's be honest - compare the engagement shoot pics (messy as they were) to the shoots we eventually got this book. You can see the difference. You can tell which one required more work.

• Anyway, if you choose this scene you wind up going back to the ballroom, dance with your spouse, aaaaand it's time for another diamond option. This time your spouse gives you something you've been craving (mousse parfait for the Liam MC, chocolate chip cookies for the Hana MC, handmade chocolates for the Maxwell MC and a choice between bacon and a veg version of it for the Drake MC. Damn, team TRR. Your favouritism is showing). The couple also writes a letter to the baby that the child can read growing up, in a bit of a parallel to Eleanor's letter to Liam that we see at the end of the chapter.

• After this, Liam reveals he has been pondering over what Bianca said, and wants to find out where they could find that secret room. Cue Liam's own flashback scene for free. Godfrey bringing to Queen the same goblet that the RoE MC found in a flea market in Book 2 for Regina (or perhaps just a similarish one). Liam and Eleanor reciting a rhyme that turns out to have clues for the secret room.

• To give the team credit, they seem to have (finally) put some thought into this. Like this actually feels like Liam's scene. Not one that delivers information about his family but is really about another character. They seem to incorporate all the things Eleanor seemed to be known for - things that were hardly addressed in the books when it came to talk of her. She is shown with a love for books given that books and poetry form an important part of the clues she leaves for Liam. One of the books is about foraging, which is unsurprising considering her love for gardens that was established in Book 1 of TRR.

• So...like...nice job but why was practically everything about Eleanor (including the way she'd stand up to Constantine, her displeasure at the sound of Godfrey and Bartie's names, her nature that Liam not only inherited but also learned) left only for your finale? Why no buildup? Why was I seeing you lot constantly pandering to Drake's family the entire time? Why do I know way, way more about Jackson than I do about Eleanor whose story this WAS? Why is she and her son suddenly getting this burst of attention at the tail end??

• They still manage to push young!Drake into a scene focusing on Liam and Eleanor, so we can see how Eleanor's teaching of how to be a responsible royal began to make inroads into Liam's way of thinking. It's the ultimate irony, that Liam took his mother's advice so much to heart that he lets Drake stay in his home, eat his food, and complain about those dastardly nobles to his heart's content for free.

Poor Eleanor in her grave is like

• Very fitting, how Constantine's proposal to Eleanor happens in the hedge maze, very much like Liam's first declaration of love in Book 1.

• If you're married to Liam, you get an extra letter that's addressed to Liam's future wife. She clearly knew her days were to be numbered by the time she gave birth to that second child at least.

• Lmao @ how the team somehow managed to remember that Eleanor would have been Leo's stepmother too. He's mentioned a couple of times. They didn't have enough time to develop a sprite for young!Leo but somehow had all the time and resources to make one for young!Savannah who had literally no purpose in Drake's flashback scene? Hmm. Hmm.

• They somehow manage to find the twin to the RoE MC's gifted goblet that Godfrey gave Eleanor the night she died, and Liam reveals that he's been obsessed with poisons enough to know that it wasn't the drink that was poisoned, it was the cup itself. Everyone is shook.

• Love that extra little detail about Liam's obsession with learning about poisons and how it's a sign of how deeply Eleanor's death affected him. But tell me honestly if you remember this plot point coming up even once before in any significant way. Even during the one time a person is poisoned in the previous book (by the laws of karma, the victim in this instance is Godfrey's only daughter) Liam shows very few signs of this "obsession". At a time when he has also lost a father. Convenient how something that could have added more depth to Liam is kept aside until there's a scene where his knowledge is required. Convenient indeed.

• I kind of understand why Liam acts on impulse, okay. The man just discovered who murdered his mum, at least some amount of irrationality is allowed (esp considering he hardly got to express ANYTHING when his goddamn father died). But you'd think Liam's friends would hold him back and help him think this through? Convince him that there are more effective ways to confront and get a confession out of Godfrey who after is in charge of security at the moment? You seriously think charging into the ballroom and suddenly stripping this man of his titles is going to actually work??? You couldn't figure out how to make him vulnerable instead so that he wouldn't be able to escape???

• I mean like, sure, one could always rationalize it all as "well see Lizzy, they needed a dramatic end to this story and they needed to wrap this mystery up quick". But there were other ways they could have spread it out than make it all sound so...so random. And you bet we all know why the narrative had to scramble around last minute to solve this. It's because we spend half the damn book in a dilapidated ranch with a shit family!

• Anyway, Godfrey escapes...and the MC tells her spouse that she's going into labour after...two contractions? Um. Okay.

• So. That ends Book 1 of this new series. And with it my QTs, for this series at least. My QTs for Book 1 (the OG, not the rewrite) might continue, but I'd need to repeat my failplay again because I lost most of those screenshots 😭

General Thoughts on the Book:

• So far, this is what I can see as happening in the next book:

- The birth, obviously

- Any extra perks from our purchases (ie. the nursery and the garden)

- Subplots involving the LIs' conflicts regarding parenthood and their own childhoods

- The mystery behind Eleanor's death isn't quite over yet, nor is the truth behind the constant paparazzi presence in TRH. Leona was the scapegoat this time around, but how did Amalas get all this information so quickly?

- Where is Eleanor's other child? Olivia's investigations may or may not lead to that answer. I'm pretty sure Jin might be involved as well.

- Another possibility is that Madeleine may give us important information since she was potentially aware that Eleanor was pregnant at the time.

- The mystery behind Jackson's death and what he knew regarding Eleanor's condition.

- What part did Bartie Sr have to play in all this? How involved was Constantine in the murder (if in fact he was)? What more dark secrets will we learn about Constantine, Godfrey and Bartie Sr during this time? What ultimately caused the breakdown in Constantine and Jackson's relationship, since Drake mentions Jackson being around when Regina was Queen as well?

- Speaking of Regina, how involved was she in any of this? We know she was Godfrey's cousin-in-law and Bartie Sr made a comment on her during the announcement about the heir, and that she married Constantine a couple years after Eleanor's death, but was she aware of any of this or was she largely out of the major plot and brought in later to cement Godfrey's position and power?

- I'd mention the possibility that Lorelai could know something, but they didn't really give anyone connected to Hana any time at all, so I have my doubts.

- Operation Swan, and possibly a visit to Monterisso. Liam's younger sibling must be in one of these places but my guess is on Monterisso.

- I'm guessing the team will write a nice wedding for Penelope and Ezekiel next book, while Kiara continues to get scraps from the same team.

- Drake and Olivia will continue to eat into the plot. Madeleine will join this unholy trinity as well because they've set the stage for her to have plenty of angst.

With that over, these were my thoughts once this book was finished:

WHERE ARE THE DUCHESSES?

Remember how, back in Book 3, we all marvelled at the number of women in this country who were in positions of power? Adeleide and Emmeline were powerful duchesses while their husbands were secondary figures, and Joelle though married into a noble family is an influential artist and - according to Liam - the embodiment of King Fabian's values. It seemed like, despite the underlying sexism and racism in the story, women were at least at the forefront of Cordonian politics.

This is virtually gone in TRH1. Godfrey (who wasn't even interested in Krona in the first place, much less Cordonia) and Landon (whose only concern seemed to be Penelope, leaving Emmeline to manage the duchy) have a seat in the Council. In fact we never even see either of these woman in the book. I can maybe understand the logic behind not appointing Adeleide, but the fact that Emmeline is passed over for her far-less -qualified husband is a mystery to me!

Also, has anyone noticed how white-male-centered the whole Eleanor story is? Notice how we never see Eleanor's friends, besides Jackson? We never see any of the courtly ladies of that era? She's the Queen. She'd have her own court. I find it impossible that Eleanor would have no interactions of importance among her own goddamned court, that Joelle, Emmeline or Adeleide wouldn't even be mentioned in her story thus far. It's fascinating that forget being part of her story - these women are largely forgotten in the book itself.

(Note: It's also important to add that none of Kiara's family - besides Zeke - makes an appearance this book. At all. One member of Penelope's family and one member of Madeleine's family is in the council, but we never really see or hear anything from Kiara's, even though Hakim was Constantine's old friend and Joelle could have easily been connected to Eleanor, given that Eleanor was exactly the kind of ruler Joelle would have loved and respected.

While we're on that subject, Lorelai could have been connected to Eleanor as well - considering that we know next to nothing about her years in Shanghai. There were ways Hana's story could have been tied into the overall plot as well that were largely ignored. The fact that both the main and secondary WOCs presented opportunities for better plot and story, and despite that they were largely ignored in the books...I think that says a lot. But I will get into more of that in detail in a different section).

LI SPACE AND STORY

• Now...as we all know, The TRR/TRH series is primarily a romance-focused book first, with an underlying plot about royalty and politics. So it makes sense to evaluate the book based on what it gives its love interests. That includes the number of scenes they get, and the kind of focus their story is given. So...here's the rundown of how that goes in TRH Book 1:

Liam: Overall, not too bad. He gets one individual scene, a free and paywalled childhood scene (though the free one is essential for the group's realization of who killed Eleanor). The letter his mother writes to Liam includes an extra section towards the end, meant for the MC who marries him. However, we must note that a lot of this "attention" was thrust into the very final chapter of this book, and 99% of the same book didn't exactly make an attempt to explore his inner thoughts on anything - his mother's death, the dealings with the foreign countries, his political activities. Eleanor being pregnant came from a scene that made Olivia the center of attention, the MC had the opportunity to ask him how he was feeling only once or twice, and most of the time the narrative relegated it all to "the matter is still being investigated". It's a slight improvement from the absolute lack of concern the MC and the narrative showed about Liam's emotional state post his father's death in Book 3, but not much.

Variations wise, the team did step up on the basic ones for most of the LIs, so clearly we've moved past the days of seeing cut-paste scenes and the likes of Liam and Hana saying "I'm so dumb in love with you". However, in playthroughs where the MC is Liam's wife and Queen of Cordonia, her lack of genuine concern for her country and lack of curiosity about the place she's ruling, sticks out like a sore thumb. The fandom loves to highlight how the plot is "written for Liam" or is "easier in Liam's playthrough", but besides his own child being the heir, nothing else from Book 3 onwards seems like it was particularly written with him in mind.

Drake: Hoo boy. So 2019 was clearly the year that many people didn't believe me about Drake eating up space, and the year they had to eat their words because in TRH it was too obvious to be ignored. On an overall scale you cannot avoid the extra perks even his LI scenes got - his Valtoria scene in Chapter 4 was longer, set in a different place and he was allowed to expand on his decision to say yes to Liam's request in a way Hana and Maxwell never were. We learned way more about his familial relationships and dynamics than all the LIs combined. His childhood scene was the first to be given variants depending on whether the MC was his wife or not. His sister's wedding takes up almost half the book, leaving little to no space for either the intrigue, or even the pregnancy that was supposed to be THE most important part of the book.

An insane amount of retconning was done to emphasize strongly on the "marshmallow" part of his personality, having him state time and again that for the MC he can even "sport a tutu if you said you had a thing for the Sugar Fairy". Part of these changes could be attributed to the backlash the team got for having him call a pink cake "girly".

There is a strong possibility that Jackson might be explored further in the second book, and it's no surprise considering that he's the one parent that is most talked about in the series. The book looks like it was truly written with Drake in mind, with a heavy dose of Olivia, and everyone else was added as a bit of an afterthought.

Maxwell: Pretty awful treatment for a character that the head writer of the team claims to like. He has no individual character scenes, and one childhood scene where his older brother Bertrand is given more focus. Ironically, Maxwell was more wary of Bartie Sr in TRR Book 2 than Bertrand was, but somehow they changed this little detail so that Maxwell could be written out of his own story.

His LI scenes were also not given much effort - some were badly written, and some scenes (like the free ones) showed little to no variations between the friendly and romantic playthroughs. One that comes to mind is the baby announcement photoshoot, which was so poorly done it added nothing of value to the character or the relationship.

Like the last book, Maxwell isn't allowed much development in TRH1, and he's still forced into a largely "court jester" role in the story. This reflects very poorly on him in certain situations, such as the chapter where we finally get glimpses of his book. The aim was to be humourous and light about the events of the series, but he comes out of it sounding thoroughly insensitive towards his friends, none of whose consent he took to write this self-centered pile of garbage.

However, there is hope that they might do things a bit better for him next book, if the rewrite of him in TRR 2.0 was anything to go by. However, it would be awful if they tried to do a better job of him and then left out Hana. Speaking of which...

Hana: I'm going to begin this section with a comparison to another character, someone who should have been treated as a secondary character - Olivia.

Olivia in this book has 2 character scenes (they're very plot driven, but they also explore her outside of her friendship with the MC and dynamic with the group). The spy scene with Auvernese royalty, and the scene with Jin, the Auvernese spy. An entire chapter is spent in her duchy (by now we've seen Lythikos four times and I'm now sick of the place), and she winds up taking over Maxwell's Q&A scene as well.

So that's technically 2.5 scenes AND a childhood scene that revolves around her even though it's about Liam's mother. In addition to this, Olivia also gets her own mini-book, The Royal Holiday, that revolves (again) around her duchy and has the group clamouring to give her attention when no one else wants to.

Here are the stats for Hana, who by virtue of being an LI, is also a potential co-protagonist in the series:

Nothing.

Zilch. Zip. Zero. Nada. Nothing.

She has one childhood scene that is part of the group's scenes - a beautiful, heartbreaking one that serves as a slap in the face to anyone who'd dared to be dismissive of what she went through earlier - but none after that, and no individual scenes either. The team - in one of their most offensive choices this book - force a storyline where she has fertility issues just so the MC can be the one carrying the child, and the same MC can opt(!!) to ask about her well-being after two days. The same MC has the chance to whine about not getting pregnant soon enough in front of Hana.

There have been a few efforts made to make the MC appear more caring towards Hana: she can angrily defend Hana against Isabella's jibes, and she can make Hana relax for once during the baby shower (unlike the wedding reception where the same MC treated her like a bridesmaid). The MC even gets to tell her wife that she should never consider herself secondary or unimportant.

All of these are nice, but at the end of the day they're all scraps. I'd equate it to how we're allowed to give Kiara compliments on the final two chapters, but the white women around her still get a far bigger chunk of space, story and attention dedicated to them. The team have a pattern of adding these tiny tidbits that will temporarily satisfy stans while still maintaining the status quo, and that's precisely what's happening here. Its important for us to understand this. Underneath all this surface concern and all these scraps, Hana is still getting dust in place of actual story and characterization. And given that they made ZERO major changes to Hana's scenes in TRR 2.0, I'm not expecting that to change.

As for the book in general...I don't have to go into why this book is a mess, do I? We all know. We've all witnessed how disproportionate the writing has been and while I'm glad more and more people recognize what I've been seeing since Book 3, it's sad that it took 9 whole chapters in Walker Ranch for so many to understand exactly how much space Drake has been eating up for no good reason.

BLACK HOLES AND WHITE TEARS

I'll begin this section by talking about Drake Walker. He's the most prominent sign of the larger problem.

Drake Walker is what I call a Black Hole LI. And yes I mean black hole as in the one that exists in space (Beckett from TE also fits into this category). He is the kind of LI that sucks up everything. Love. Light. Joy. Common sense. Other characters' spaces.

He is the kind of love interest that will have Liam's traumatic experience centered around him. The kind of love interest for whose problems - largely created by his mammoth ego - we have to resolve in Shanghai, the home of the lone female LI. While that same female LI gets nothing, and then disappears in a subsequent chapter. The kind of love interest whose love confession can take precedence even over the MC's own issues (remember the Beaumont House chapter in Book 1? The one that took place the day after Tariq nonconsensually kissed the MC? 98% of the dialogue revolved around Drake's feelings. Not about the faulty lock, not the possibility that the MC's security had been tampered with - Drake's feelings). The kind of love interest that was given an entire extra wedding and artwork for his mother in Book 3 itself - none of which were given to any other LI.

A Black Hole LI is totally the kind of LI that would get 9 whole chapters in their home while we have never even visited the homes of the others since the early books of the previous series.

This wasn't something that began just this book. It's been a constant since Book 2, and you can even see signs of his story gaining way more importance in Book 1. It's also not something we can - in all honesty - blame simply on finances and fan popularity: the writers confirmed Drake to be one of their favourites, and attempts to give his scenes additional perks (eg plot elements pushed into both the Whiskey scene and the Beaumont Office scene) happened long before they could make any conclusions about his popularity. I bought the Beaumont Office scene to find out more about that family. I bought the Marshmallow scene so I could find out more about Liam and Hana's conversation post Coronation (remember - Hana was never even allowed to speak about her return to Cordonia because that scene was given to Drake). I bought the Italian Restaurant scene to learn more about Liam's assassination. The funny thing about all these three is that these were their stories to tell, yet Drake is the focus. Quite a few of Drake's initial scenes sold because the team consistently made the effort, consistently ensured that the information from his scenes would benefit us in the long run. The narrative allowed for Drake to have his own story, and additionally let aspects of his story overshadow that of the other LIs' (see the examples I've given above). Even though he has very little of value to contribute to the larger story (no job, his friendships are shallower than a wash-basin, and no genuine communication with any commoner in the story - only endless whining).

The treatment Drake gets that no other LI does, is a problem in itself, but it also is a small part of an even bigger issue. He isn't the only white character who gets this sort of attention and detail to his story.

Take Olivia, for example. Started out as a rival to the MC, before her sad sad childhood and her genuine love for Liam was revealed in the Book 1 finale. Over the course of the story, her role changed from petty rival to Warrior Duchess to reluctant bff. Over the course of the original series, Olivia became one of the most prominent characters in the story, on par with the male LIs. I'm not sure how many people realize that Lythikos is the ONLY duchy in the kingdom we've seen thrice (four times if you count Holiday). To give you an idea of how big a deal that is, here's how many times we've visited other duchies besides the capital and Applewood:

Fydelia - 2

Portavira - 1

Castelserraillian - 1

Ramsford (the home of our sponsors!) - 1

Hana's mother's home - Never.

Lythikos has a detailed familial and cultural history, and I wouldn't be lying if I said we know more about this one region than we know about the entire country of Cordonia. And honestly for me, the obsession with this one duchy has reached saturation point. Lythikos is not Cordonia. Lythikos is not all there is to Cordonia or even the only place that should matter. Yet it seems the team is more than eager to flog that horse until there's nothing of interest left.

Olivia is the only character who gets an entire mini book that revolves around comforting her and making her feel better about her background and origins. I don't think we've ever given Hana this much attention when she left her home for us. Or when she was being bullied by Madeleine. Or when she was the other bride in that grand wedding. Or when we received the news that carrying a child to term would be dangerous for her body. Or --

We were given an entire mini-book to comfort Olivia - the woman who continued to call Hana "damaged goods" and " a failure" for not marrying a man, while Hana's friend/wife stood by and watched. The woman who didn't have to think twice before making snide remarks about an equally skilled courtier who never did her any harm, only because she could get away with it. Istg when I heard that most of the court snubbed her during that first event in Holiday, this was my reaction:

Like girl I feel bad for you but at least now you know how it feels to be held responsible for shit beyond your control!

Hana, in the meantime, is forced time and again into situations that would break most people - but with very little payoff. Her arc with her parents was given a resolution that confirmed that Hana could only be considered worthy if she was useful. She was made to interact time and again with the woman who harmed her with such glee in Book 2. The MC - as a friend or as a wife - is at best neglectful of her issues and at worst someone who uses and discards Hana as she sees fit. And now...in her romantic playthrough she's given a storyline that doesn't allow her to bear children easily, and the MC spends less than two minutes to actually check on her. Hana is one of the co-protagonists, yet a side character given the treatment she should be getting. One could technically blame finances for the way she's being treated too, but keep in mind that the bad treatment goes as far back as the Applewood chapters in Book 1. Technically a time when she was bringing in money.

I get it. Olivia is a fan favourite. Many in the fandom wanted her to be an LI, the writers didn't, so they carved out this middle path where she'd have a major portion of the story anyway. But keep in mind that a lot of this attention came - and is still coming - at the cost of Hana. The team pretty much gave Olivia what they'd been refusing to give Hana all along.

On a smaller scale, you see similar patterns with the secondary characters - especially the women of the court. Madeleine and Penelope had elaborate backstories designed to make people forgive and sympathize with them, and Kiara - even though her backstory in Book 1 was inherently tragic and deserved to be handled sensitively - was given validation with great reluctance from the team, and with no consequences if we treated her cruelly. Even now, the team has only tossed Kiara a couple of scraps in the final chapter, while already setting the stage for Madeleine to get her own tragic "patriotism" arc for TRH Book 2, and a possible wedding for Penelope in the near future.

The difference here doesn't just lie in who gets attention and who doesn't. It lies in how the MC is supposed to view these women as well. A lot more sympathy and understanding is automatically extended to the white women, and the MC faces consequences if she fails to acknowledge their pain. Far less sympathy is offered by default to the black and the Asian woman - the MC may be friends with Hana but a huge chunk of their relationship is mostly about the MC benefiting from Hana's skills without giving much in return.

Even though their misdeeds are acknowledged and spoken about, both Madeleine and Penelope are written in such a way that the problems they're currently facing matter more than anything they've ever done in the past. Hana is made to sweet-talk Madeleine despite being bullied by her in a previous book. The MC herself never gets ANY opportunity to directly address what Penelope put her through in Portavira, because what the MC went through matters less than Penelope's condition.

Compare this to the relatively small scale of Kiara's "misdeed" (being honest about not continuing with an alliance - I'm surprised people think this is an actual thing to be offended about!), and the way the MC is allowed to mistreat her sans consequences afterwards. We're even allowed to call Kiara a snob in the books - which isn't at all true if you look at any of her scenes in canon - and constantly make fun of her desire to learn (in fact, if anyone in the series could be called a snob, it would be Olivia). If I were to sum up how a woman of colour is spoken about in the books, vs a white woman - this screenshot would do the trick:

(Notice how none of the options to speak about Penelope allow us to speak rudely of her, yet in Kiara's case we're allowed to make judgements on her as a person. In Hana's case, while we don't exactly drag her the way we can drag Kiara - we get precious few opportunities to actually defend or support her when others talk rubbish about her).

When you explore the series overall, it's impossible to ignore the casual racism that makes disrespecting people of a certain race/colour easier than on another. It's impossible not to see where the narrative chooses to give consequences to an MC who treats a white woman badly, and where it allows the very same MC to suspect, and then (optionally) gaslight, a woman of colour a couple chapters later. It's impossible not to see which people are meant to be respected despite their bad behaviour, and which people can still be treated badly despite their better behaviour. It's impossible not to see a pattern emerging.

This is not even a problem that plagues only the TRR series. From TCaTF to ACOR to Platinum to even MoTY, there is an ongoing pattern of discrepancies between the way white people and people of colour - particularly women - are treated. Many POC characters are placed in situations where it's easier for them to suffer/die/be shown disrespect, than it is to show them kindness or mercy. MOC are regularly either exoticized (Prince Hamid is the most glaring example of this) or placed in very traumatic situations for which the payoff isn't always going to be that great (I know this happens to Dallas, but I don't know about the payoff for Syphax).

WOC particularly suffer quite a bit in a lot of PB novels, in comparison to their white counterparts. Rowan Thorne of TCaTF, as a character, didn't deserve for her death to be made easier than her survival (in contrast to Diavolos, who was given far more opportunities AND will live simply by virtue of allying with Kenna), any more than Kiara deserved to be interrogated by the people who should have been concerned for her safety or Xanthe deserved to be shipped to slavery. All this, while a Vanessa (who is in a position of power and who plays an active role in rendering the MOTY MC financially helpless) gets a diamond scene where she "explains" her situation and a Madeleine doesn't even have to hear about her bullying from her victims.

The fandom, too, has contributed to this on a number of occasions. Speaking specifically of TRR, how many times have we seen Hana being dragged on Olivia posts? (also, if we were really measuring Olivia by the impossible standards that we held for Hana's characterization, Olivia would appear pretty damn one-note too: after all, 80% of her characterization consists of knife jokes). How many times was Hana being looked at with disdain for either her niceness or the poor writing for her, while the same fandom would regularly coo over a nice-presenting Penelope (whose characterization is one of the most inconsistent in the series)? How many times have we seen Kiara being called a creep/obsessed for merely looking at a man, while almost no one judges Olivia for kissing a man without his consent? How many times have people forgiven a traitorous Penelope and hated on a far more innocent Kiara in the same breath? How often did the fandom hate on Liam for accepting the MC's advances after she rejected him, yet not say a word when Drake did the same thing? How many times has Maxwell been loved for his humour and childlike nature while people of colour with a similar personality (Lily from Bloodbound, for example) were hated on instantly? Clearly, there have been more instances of people in the fandom sympathizing automatically with the white character, than with characters of colour. Time and again, brown and black characters - particularly women - have been required to match up to impossible standards (if they're nice they're boring. If they don't like the MC they're <insert every gendered sexist insult you can think of here>). The standards are far more relaxed for white characters, and they're often given more breathing room and to most of what they want without the constant judgement that black and brown women get. The standards set up for both are grossly different.

Racism is a beast that assumes many forms - and not all forms of racism will appear obvious to some, especially when such stereotypes are so normalized in media and popular fiction that we almost accept it at first. Almost. To get to the root of why there's such an imbalance in this series - among others - we need to first acknowledge the sexism and racism that are such a vital part of its narrative, and that its fandom regularly buys into and (sometimes unwittingly) promotes.

At this point, it's important to understand that having queer characters or characters of colour simply exist in the books isn't enough. Token rep can be found in PB's books by the dozens, but at the end of the day it means nothing if there is a constant reluctance, over and over and over, to treat those characters with the same care and sensitivity that they treat their white ones (or their "exoticized brown" ones).

• Like I mentioned earlier, I won't be playing TRH from this point forward, but I do hope to finish my TRR QTs soon. I have a LOT of thoughts! If you'd like to be tagged on those, do tell me!

#long post #tw: racism from pb #tw: fandom racism #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #king liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #anti drake walker #anti olivia nevrakis #anti trr madeleine #anti trr penelope #trr kiara

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alexazbofficial · 4 years

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[INTERVIEW] 알렉사 “하나의 이미지 아닌 여러 모습의 나를 보여주고 싶어”

2019년 10월, 치열한 가수 알렉사가 K-Pop에 시장에 당당히 여성 솔로 아티스트로 출사표를 던졌다. 알렉사의 뮤직비디오는 미래 세계를 연상케 하는 획기적 콘셉트와 영상미로 큰 주목을 받았고, 신인으로서는 이례적으로 공개 하루 만에 유튜브 조회 수 100만을 돌파하고, 한 달 만에 700만뷰를 이루어 냈다. 이�� 빌보드 월드 디지털 송차트 TOP7에 진입함과 동시에 싱가포르에서 가장 큰 공연장인 싱가포르 인도어 스타디움에서 펼쳐진 ‘캠프 싱가포르’에서 슈퍼루키로 선정되어 1만 관객을 열광시켰다. 이제 갓 데뷔 3주 차 신인임에도 불구, 공연장에 운집한 약 1만 관객의 폭발적인 반응을 끌어내며, 빌보드가 주목한 차세대 글로벌 K-POP 루키다운 눈부신 존재감을 뽐낸 것.

Q. 촬영 소감 “오늘 너무 즐거웠어요. 항상 걸크러쉬 컨셉으로 촬영을 많이 했는데, 오늘 처음으로 여성스러운 느낌이어서 좋았어요. 저도 처음 보는 제 모습이라 아까 뒤에서 혼자 셀카도 많이 찍었어요. 하하하” Q. 뮤직비디오가 700만뷰가 넘었던데, 정말 대단하다

“감사합니다. 아직도 사실 안 믿겨요. 700만이란 숫자 볼 때마다 너무 신기해요. 제 소속사가 쟈니브로스의 레이블 회사인 지비레이블이에요. 쟈니브로스를 살짝 자랑하자면(웃음) 방탄소년단, 엑소, 소녀시대, 슈퍼주니어, 마마무 등 국내 최정상급 아티스트들의 뮤직비디오를 비롯해 CF, 영화, 방송프로그램 등을 제작한 대한민국 최대 크리에이티브 집단이에요. 그래서 뮤직비디오가 잘 나올 거라고 기대하고 있었어요(웃음)” Q. 앨범 소개 “이번 앨범 ‘Bomb’은 '멀티버스(다중 우주) 속 A.I(인공지능)'라는 획기적인 콘셉트로 데뷔했어요. 첫 디지털 싱글앨범에서는 AI답게 조금 강한 모습으로 여러분들을 놀래켜 드렸어요. 그 다음은 멀티버스에서 어떤 인물이 나올지는 비밀이에요. 기대 많이 해주셔도 될 것 같아요. 하하하”

Q. 매니저가 다 외국 분이다 “하하하 네. 스웨덴, 독인, 콜롬비아, 한국 매니저분들이 계세요. 저를 만들어 주신 분들이에요” Q. 덕분에 해외에서도 반응이 뜨겁나 보다 “네. 맞아요 하하하 매니저분들께도 너무 감사드려요“ Q. Mnet ‘프로듀스48’에서 알렉스 크리스틴이란 이름으로 처음 대중들에게 알려진 거로 아는데 그 꼬리표가 부담스럽진 않은지 “부담스럽지는 않아요. 그 프로그램으로 인해 조금이나마 저를 알아보시는 분이 계셔서 감사드려요. 촬영 당시 무릎 인대가 늘어나서 무대에 대해 아쉬움이 많았어요. 그래서 지금 더 열심히 하는 것도 있어요” Q. 그 당시 몇 표 받았는지 물어도 될까 “하하하. 그때 4표 받았어요. 저 응원해주셨던 네 분 꼭 찾고 싶어요. 혹시 이 기사 확인하시면 연락 부탁드려요. 사실 지금의 저를 있게 해주신 분들이기도 한 것 같아요. 당시 그 4표가 정말 힘이 많이 됐어요. 감사드려요” Q. 그 네 분 꼭 찾았으면 좋겠다 “네. 그 당시 많이 부족했는데도 불구하고 저를 응원해주셔서 감사하다고 꼭 전달하고 싶어요. 이번 앨범도 꼭 선물로 직접 전해 드리고 싶어요” Q. 방송 출연 이후 1년 조금 넘는 시간 동안 실력도 그렇고, 이미지도 정말 많이 변한 것 같다 “하하하 그렇게 봐주셔서 감사합니다. 저를 귀여운 이미지로 봐주시는 분들이 많아서 그 이미지를 조금 바꾸어 보려고 노력 많이 했어요. 춤도 더 파워풀하게 추려고 웨이트도 스스로 많이 했어요. 안정적인 보컬 실력을 갖추기 위해 아침 마다 한강을 뛰면서 노래를 부르고 있어요. 근데 요즘에 너무 추워서 살짝 게을러 진 것 같아요. 내일부터 다시 뛰어야겠어요. 하하하”

Q. 촬영하면서 근육을 보고 깜짝 놀랐다 “하하하. 네 오늘 촬영한다고 밥을 조금만 먹었더니 복근이 더 잘 보였던 것 같아요. 사실 복근보다 팔에 근육이 더 많아요. 최근에 근육이 더 생긴 것 같아서 조금 운동을 줄여야 할까 봐요. 하하하” Q. 다른 아이돌과 조금 다른 이미지라 그런지 정말 멋있다 “감사합니다. 근육 더 키울까요? 하하하” Q. 얼마 전 싱가포르에서 해외 공연을 한 거로 알고 있다 “네. 그렇게 큰 무대는 처음이라 아침부터 새벽 5시까지 연습했었어요. 올라가기 전에 손발이 막 떨렸는데 막상 올라가니깐 너무 재미있었어요. 무대체질 인가 봐요. 관객 분들이 환호를 너무 많이 보내주셔서 더 신나서 한 것 같아요. 사실 공연하다가 무릎이 찢어져서 피가 났거든요. 근데 그것도 모르고 신나게 공연하고 내려왔어요. 무대 내려왔더니 피가 엄청나고 있었어요” Q. 어떤 가수가 되고 싶은지 “하나의 이미지만이 아니라 여러 모습의 알렉사를 보여드리고 싶어요. 여러 장르를 다 소화할 수 있는 그런 가수가 되고 싶어요. 그만큼 많은 노력이 더 필요할 것 같아요. 팬 분들께 항상 새로운 모습으로 다음 앨범이 기대되는 가수가 되도록 열심히 하겠습니다” Q. 마지막으로 bnt구독자 분들께 인사 부탁 드린다 “bnt구독자 여러분 이제 막 데뷔한 알렉사입니다. 오늘 이렇게 bnt를 통해 만나 뵙게 돼서 너무 반가웠어요. 계속해서 ‘Bomb’으로 찾아 뵐 예정이니 많은 사랑 부탁 드릴게요. 날씨가 갑자기 너무 추워졌어요. 항상 감기 조심하세요. 그리고 너무 발라드만 듣지 말고 가끔 신나게 알렉사 ‘Bomb’도 들어주세요. 하하하”

TRANSLATION:

In October 2019, fierce singer AleXa made her debut as a female solo artist in the K-Pop industry. AleXa’s music video received a lot of attention for its innovative concept and visual beauty reminiscent of the futuristic world, and as a rookie, it surpassed one million YouTube views in a day and reached 7 million views in just one month.

Since then, it has entered the Billboard World Digital Songchart TOP7 and has wowed 10,000 spectators at Camp Singapore, singapore's largest venue, at The Indoor Stadium in Singapore. Despite being a rookie in the third week since her debut, she exploded into an explosive audience of about 10,000 at the show, and had a dazzling presence like a next-generation global K-POP rookie, billboard noted.

Q. Shooting comments "I enjoyed it so much today. I've always been shooting a lot of girl crush concepts, but today was my first feminine feeling, so it was great. It's the first time ever seeing this person, so I took a lot of selfies in the back. Hahaha"

Q. The music video has over 7 million views, which is amazing

"Thank you. I still don't believe it. Every time I see a number of 7 million, It's so amazing. My company is Zany Bros. The label company is ZB Label. To show off Zany Bros (laughs), it's korea's largest creative group that has produced music videos of top korean artists such as BTS, EXO, Girls' Generation, Super Junior, Mamamoo, cf, movies, and broadcast programs. So I was hoping that the music video would come out well (laughs)."

Q. About the album

"This album 'Bomb' debuted with the groundbreaking concept of 'A.I in multiverse'. On my first digital single album, I surprised you with a little bit of a strong AI concept. And then it's no secret what kind of person will come out of the multiverse. I think you can do a lot of things with it. Hahaha"

Q. The manager is a foreigner

"Hahaha yes, there are managers from Sweden, Germany, Colombia and Korea. They made me."

Q. The reaction is hot overseas.

"Yes, i'm so thankful for the managers hahaha."

Q. I know that people first know you as Alex Christine in Mnet's "Produce 48", but that tag isn't a burden?

"It's not a burden. I'm grateful that there are some people who recognize me a little bit because of the program. At the time of the shooting, my knee ligaments were stretched, so I had a lot of regrets about the stage. So that’s something I will work harder to do now."

Q. How many votes did you get at that time?

"Hahaha. I got four votes at that time. I'd love to find the four of you who have supported me. If you have any information about this article, please contact us. In fact, I think they were the ones who made me who i am now. At that time, those four votes were really powerful. Thank you very much" Q. I want to find those four by all means.

"Yes, I want to thank you for supporting me, even though there was not much at that time. I want to give this album as a gift."

Q. Over a little over a year since the show, i think your skills have changed a lot, and your image has changed a lot.

"Hahaha thank you for watching. There are a lot of people who look at me with cute images, so I tried to change them a little bit. I danced more powerfully, and I lifted a lot of weights. I sang along the Han River every morning to be able to have a stable vocal. But it's so cold these days that I feel like I'm a bit behind. I'm going to have to run again tomorrow. Hahaha" Q. I was amazed at the muscles while shooting

"Hahaha. Yes, I ate a little bit of rice to shoot today, and i think my abs looked better. In fact, i have more muscle in my arm than abs. I think I've got more muscle recently, so I'm going to have to cut down on a little bit of exercise. Hahaha"

Q. It's a little different from other idols, so it's really cool.

"Thank you. Will I grow more muscle? Hahaha" Q. I know you recently performed overseas in Singapore.

"Yes, i practiced from morning until 5 am because it was the first time I had such a big stage. It was so much fun to climb because i just had a trembling hand before i climbed. I think it's a stage constitution. I think the audience was more excited because they were so excited to get to cheer. In fact, during the show, my knee was torn and i was bleeding a lot. But i didn't even know it was going to be a great show. I went down off the stage and there was a lot of blood."

Q. What kind of singer do you want to be?

"I want to show AleXa in not just one image, but a bunch of different looks. I want to be a singer who can play all genres. I think it takes a lot more work. We will always work hard to make sure that our fans always have something new and we are looking forward to the next album."

Finally, I would like to say hello to bnt subscribers

"Bnt subscribers, AleXa has just debuted. It was so nice to see her through bnt today. We'll continue to visit 'Bomb', so we'll ask you to show a lot of love as well. The weather suddenly got too cold. Always be careful of the cold. And don't just listen to the ballads too much, listen to AleXa 'Bomb' from time to time. Hahaha"

#alexa #alex christine #kim seri #interview #191226

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ava-candide · 5 years

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T'aint right, t’aint fairas Prudie, the Poldarks’ housekeeper, would say. Poldark is nearing its end; let the Sunday-night-swoon audience rend its garments. It returns next month for a fifth series then that’s your lot: game over. No more shots broodily staring out to sea, no more dramatic galloping at full pelt across Cornish clifftops making me worry for that horse. But, at least, a rest for the poor overworked six-pack of Aidan Turner, whose performance as Ross Poldark has held thousands of middle-aged ladies in thrall.

And here I am sitting 2ft away from him in a tiny room at the British Film Institute in London, a man whose abdominal muscles are the most “celebrated”, by which I mean “leered over”, in Britain. “You’re a ‘hot property’, ” I tell him as if he somehow hasn’t noticed his own naked torso appearing incessantly in every newspaper and magazine since 2015. “Do you feel like a hot property?” He looks horrified. “No, I don’t,” he says, smiling through a bushy black beard. “I don’t think I’d want to know anyone who [called themselves] a hot property. That gives me the heebie-jeebies.” Good answer. Anyone who refers to themselves as a hot property is obviously a massive tool.

I assume the beard (the Daily Mail said it made him “unrecognisable”, but he is totally recognisable) is for a part in an “exciting” new project, which, he says, involves working with a director he admires but, alas, he can’t tell me what it is. “I’m so sorry, it’s boring; it sucks,” he apologises (he means having to be secretive, not the production, just to be clear).

So how does he feel to have pulled off Ross’s tricorn hat and ravished Demelza (Eleanor Tomlinson) in that small Nampara bed for the last time? Turner, 36, has spent about a third of his working life on Poldark. Does it feel the right time to drop the curtain? “It feels storywise that this is the right time. It just seemed the right time in every possible way. It has been an incredible journey for all of us . . . but it’s a long shoot. I think we’re all ready to do other things.” I say I hope he had a suitably tearful farewell with Seamus, Ross’s trusted black horse who has built up such a fan-base that he is known as “famous Seamus”. Turner became very close to him, sometimes having a nap on his back between scenes. He thinks they have a similar personality: “We’re both Irish.” So how was the big goodbye?

“It’s kinda sad,” Turner says. “I was gutted.” For a terrible moment I’m imagining a glue factory, but it turns out he never said farewell to the horse. “With everything else when the job was wrapping up I remember the last time I wore the boots and the last time I wore the tricorn hat and the jacket, and the last time I did a scene with Eleanor in the kitchen. And I really marked it because I wanted to remember it. With Seamus I thought I was going to see him again; but then a scene got pulled we were going to use him for . . . so I never got to say a proper goodbye. I was really gutted.” Seamus lives in York. Might he go and see him? “Maybe I will. I should drop Mark, the trainer, an email and pop down and say hello and take him for a run-out.” A reunion? There lies a payday for the paparazzi.

This is the first of the BBC series not adapted directly from the Winston Graham novels (first dramatised by the BBC in 1975 starring Robin Ellis). There was a gap of ten years in the books and Debbie Horsfield, who has written every episode of the five series, has bridged the gap between novels seven and eight using information gleaned from the later works, to keep the characters at their present ages. The Graham estate thinks she has a great affinity with the novels. It is a strong first episode, with new characters and suggests, shall we say, that Elizabeth’s death is affecting the mental health of George Warleggan (played splendidly by Jack Farthing) more than we realised. After our conversation there is a Q&A and a screening of the episode at the BFI, but Turner says he thinks he’ll duck that bit because he feels uncomfortable watching it with an audience. “I’m not very good at that. I find it a bit strange.” He is quite shy and endearingly modest for a man so lusted after. At one point some traffic noise erupts outside and he jumps up to close the window for the sake of my Dictaphone which, trust me, not every actor would do.

How boring has he found the enormous fuss and objectification over his six-pack, prompted by a famous scything scene? “I get asked a lot. It’s par for the course,” he says. “It certainly doesn’t irritate me; it’s not something I regret doing, so it’s not something I ever care to avoid talking about. I just don’t find it that interesting.”

Turner, who was born in a suburban town near Dublin and attended drama college there, probably first became well known to British TV audiences in Being Human, after which Peter Jackson cast him as a dwarf in The Hobbit. But it was Ross Poldark who has made him famous. He says he’ll most likely miss Ross —“I love him; he’s a flawed character; he’s real” — though it’s early days. Is there anything he won’t miss? He seems flummoxed for a moment. “It’s good that I have to struggle a bit for that actually,” he says. “There’s nothing I hated and despised on the show. I’m used to early mornings. I’d love to be able to give you a bit of gossip but there’s nothing . . . Maybe living in rented accommodation.”

There have been reports of rows between him and Eleanor Tomlinson on set, usually over protecting their own characters in the show. She has joked that they squabble like an old married couple. “I don’t think we fall out often and certainly nothing serious. If there was ever any tension between us it was purely to do with work because we care a lot,” he says. “These conversations came later, the last two or three years. As we became more invested we felt we had more to lose because the show was successful, but it was always very professional. Eleanor’s an intelligent girl, conscientious, polite and articulate, so it never got into any screaming matches or anything. I was always really interested in what she had to say.” He starts laughing. “And most of the time she was right.”

I wonder if he minds the level of fame that has come with Poldark. Recently the actor Richard Madden (Bodyguard) revealed that he deliberately wore the same clothes and carried the same cup of green juice every day in the same way so the paparazzi couldn’t get a different picture and would lose interest. Turner says he tried that, but the photographer waiting outside the theatre (he was performing in The Lieutenant of Inishmore, for which he got rave reviews and a Stage debut award ) told him he could change the colour of his T-shirt in a heartbeat. “And the next day he showed me! He changed my T-shirt to pink and the colour of my jeans.” But he doesn’t mind the attention from the public. “People are usually very nice and polite. I like to see the best in people.”

He rarely reads reviews or his own interviews, never uses social media and is guarded about his private life, namely his American girlfriend, Caitlin Fitzgerald, with whom he was pictured recently on a red carpet (they met on the set of a film they both starred in: The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then Bigfoot). He has also been photographed walking her dog, Charlie. When I mention Fitzgerald he raises both palms: “I can’t say anything about that,” he says, again apologetically. I imagine all those swooning fans would rather not hear about it anyway. For the record, he says he splits his time between London, Dublin and New York. Does he fancy big Hollywood films? “Wherever the work is,” he says.

He believes this fifth series is the most exciting yet and promises the issue of Valentine’s parentage will be a big story (the little boy who plays him and may be Ross’s secret son looks spookily like him, right down to the hairdo). “It’s a great story for George Warleggan; Jack is brilliant. He’s amazing, a real talent.” By the end will the audience be sad or happy, Aidan? “I don’t know,” he says cryptically. “Some people might be happy; some people might be delighted.”

But it might not be game over, actually. He does not completely rule out returning to it in ten years’ time when he is old enough to play the more mature, wrinklier Ross (Horsfield has said “never say never”). However, he says a lot of things would need to be in place. All the actors would need to be available, the Graham estate would have to agree, and most of all the audience would still need to want it, which is the most important point. Television moves on so fast these days. “It would be silly, though, to say that it’s completely off the table,” he says.

So was he emotional at the end as it all wound down? “That last day I think it was just myself and Eleanor in the bedroom at Nampara, which was lovely,” he says. “It felt like the right way to finish and probably the right place as well. Yeah, it was quite emotional.” They still had the work to finish, the call sheet to complete, but “it was lovely just to be with her”. Afterwards, when it was done, he says it was — and he searches for the right phrase — “a bit shocking. It just feels surreal because it’s over.” For him, yes, but not for us. Not quite yet.

#aidanpics

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shemakesmusic-uk · 4 years

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Getting To Know...

Mïrändä.

Mïrändä’s music is a synthesis of playful commentary and catchy pop melodies; her vibrant compositions and lush lyrical worlds, rich with metaphor and subtext, are contagious by their very construction. She explores a wide spectrum of styles and sounds, and leaves the listener guessing what’s next in the musical game she has set before us. Born and raised in NYC, the young singer-songwriter has a background in theatre. Her eclectic spirit and style can be traced back to years of training in classical violin, as well as the wide range of music she grew up listening to, including The Chieftans, Queen and Led Zeppelin.

Earlier this month, Mïrändä shared ‘I Am Art,’ the culmination of her tarot-inspired singles trilogy. The video was shot and edited by Mïrändä in her New York City apartment during quarantine. What results is a stunning video, testament to Mïrändä's craft and creativity even when confined. With directorial flashes of Fritz Lang, David Lynch, and Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Mïrändä's ‘I Am Art’ song and resulting video conjures the spiritual essence of Marlene Dietrich, Kate Bush, Elizabeth Fraser, Mazzy Starr, Marika Hackman, Tori Amos, Bjork, Alison Goldfrapp and Enya.

We had a quick chat with Mïrändä all about life in quarantine, ‘I Am Art’, her creative process and more. Read the Q&A below.

Hi Mïrändä! How are you? How have you been coping with the current situation?

“Hey! I’m alright. I’m in quarantine in NYC with my parents and as far as we know we’re all safe and healthy. Some days are incredibly difficult but I feel very fortunate. Just trying to take things one day at a time.”

You recently released your new single and video 'I Am Art'. What's the story behind the song and the concept of the visuals?

“I wrote ‘I Am Art’ over a year ago but I don’t think there could have been a more fitting time to release it. The message of the song feels so relevant to the current times and so far, it seems to resonate with my audience.

“It is about human resilience in the face of illness, learning to appreciate and find beauty within the challenging moments and the power of art to bring healing energy in dark times.

“I shot and edited the music video for ‘I Am Art’ on my phone the first week of quarantine. It was a satisfying distraction for me and gave me an opportunity to channel my creative energy. In this video I wanted to play with creating space within confinement and explore how we can reconnect with nature while in isolation. I filmed in my narrow hallway and worked within the limited frame of my cell phone. Through color, costume and makeup I discovered various incarnations of myself vying for expression. Limitations can sometimes set you free.”

Let's go back to the beginning for a moment..what was it that led you to make music? Who/what are your biggest influences?

“I’ve been songwriting since I was a sophomore in high school and back then I wrote mostly singer-songwriter material. The first song I ever wrote was called ‘Butterflies’ and I wrote it because I had a crush on a boy in my film class. We had an assignment to film and edit a 3-minute video and I wanted his attention so I decided to write him a song and shoot a music video with my friends. It didn’t really work but I have no regrets!

“The second song I ever wrote was also about a boy but it was a hard rock song called ‘Karma’ and it was about revenge. I discovered that songwriting was an affective way for me to channel all of my high school angst.

“I would write my vocal melodies and lyrics first and then go to my Dad to figure out the guitar chords. It was always frustrating for me to try and describe to him exactly what I was imagining and the final track never came out quite how I wanted it to.

“When I discovered Grimes it totally blew my mind that she wrote and produced everything herself and I realized that I wanted to do that too. I don’t feel like I really found my voice in music until I taught myself to produce.

“Some of my biggest influences are Janelle Monáe, MGMT, Still Woozy and pretty much anything from the 80’s, but my biggest influence is my Dad. He has supported me from the beginning and has even collected studio gear over the years so I could record my songs from home. To this day, when I lay down vocals, he engineers my recording sessions and we mix and occasionally master my songs together. He’s the man.”

That’s so cool! What's your songwriting/creative process?

“Once I started producing myself my songwriting process changed completely. Now, usually, rather than starting off with a melody and lyrics I start with the instrumental and let the production inform everything else.

“My song ideas tend to come to me as I’m writing them. Usually I’ll start out with a sound that excites me and let it take me from there.

“Melody and instrumental typically come to me simultaneously and most of the time lyrics come last. Honestly, I usually don’t know what the song is about until I’m midway through the process and sometimes not even until I’ve finished writing it. I think that that’s when some of the most exciting art is made. I love it when I finish a song and I start to notice synchronicity between the lyrics, and patterns or inflections in the melody as well as the instruments.”

Finally, are you working on any new music at the moment and what do you have planned for when this is over?

“I’m not sure yet! I’m going to continue to create and release music as often as I can. I’ve found that it’s difficult for me to stay inspired during this pandemic but I would love to put out another EP. The other day I opened up some of my old ProTools sessions and found a few songs that I wouldn’t mind revisiting. Maybe I’ll remix them and release an EP of unheard, slightly older material.”

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Photo credit: Jordan TIberio

#getting to know #miranda #i am art

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blueeyedbesson · 6 years

Text

Taking You Chapter 1

1: Nobody Gotta Know

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

"So we're going to walk up to random girls on the street & sing them the new song. Does everyone understand?" Jonah smiled as he explained the plan for the music video. The boys all nodded and finished getting ready.

"I think I'm gonna give a girl my number today." Zach smirked.

"Good luck buddy." Jonah joked.

"Thanks. I'll probably need it."

"You're up Zach." The director informed before walking out the door.

"Sweet. See you in a bit." He chuckled and walked out. The rest of the boys followed when it was their cue.

"I found the girl I'm gonna sing my verse to." Corbyn smiled as his eyes landed on a brunette girl sitting at a table at a cafe. "What a babe."

"Oh my god. No Corbyn." Jack shook his head.

"What? Why?"

"Because that's no babe. That's my sister."

"Oh. Too late." He smiled before running off.

~~~

I was minding my own business sitting at a table st my favorite cafe, when a guy came up to me and asked if he could sing me a song.

"Sure." I smiled as he handed me a rose and started singing.

"I've been missing, I've been crushing on you all night. I should take you to the moon, that's a long flight. We can chill, me and you, if its alright. You should be my, you should be mine."

"Corbyn, dude. What the hell?" A few other boys said as they tried to catch their breath.

"Jack!" I smiled and hugged my brother when I saw him."When did you come back from your tour?"

"Few days ago." He smiled and looked at the guys. "This is my SISTER Abby. She is off limits to all of you."

"You're no fun Jack." The blonde pouted.

"Hi." I smiled.

"Are you gonna introduce us?" The taller boy questioned.

"Oh right. Abby, this tall kid is Jonah." He smiled and pointed to the taller boy.

"Hi." He chuckled.

"That's Zach. He's too young for you."

"Dude." Zach chuckled.

"This adorable one is Daniel."

"Nice to finally meet you Abby. Jack talks about you a lot." He smiled.

"Awe Jack. You're my favorite." I smiled and hugged him.

"And the kid who sang to you is Corbyn."

"Corbyn. I like that name." I smiled and shook his hand.

"Thanks. Abby is a good name too." He smirked.

"Corbyn!" Jack warned again.

And that is how I met my best friends. After that meeting 2 years ago, I met Jonah's sister Angel and Corbyn's sister Aubrielle & shortly after, we all became best friends.

Living with them has been the biggest blessing in my life. Jack, as always, is my best friend. Corbyn is like the wise old man with so much knowledge to share. Jonah is like the dad. Zach is the little brother and Daniel is basically my best friend. Life is great right now.

"Hey Abby. Can I come in?" Corbyn asked as he stood in my bedroom doorway.

"Yeah of course. What's up?" I turned to look at him.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go see that new movie you've been talking about."

"Yeah sure. Just let me finish this video I was filming." I turned my attention back to my laptop screen.

"Can I be in it?"

"Sure." I smiled and scooted over while he brought over my other computer chair. "Hey guys. Corbyn decided to join me."

"So what is this video about?"

"Its a q&a video. It's amazing how many of your fans love me. I got so many questions sent in."

"Really? That's amazing." He smiled and looked at the tweets from my phone. "That one looks interesting."

(I'll be using an app for tweets like this so they'll all be 'real' accounts but random questions)

"Of course you'd want me to answer that." I giggled. "Too bad that I already did."

"Who did you say?"

"You'll have to wait for the video to find out." I smirked and answered a few more questions before doing my signature sign off.

"Ready to go?" He asked while I grabbed my hoodie and phone.

"Yeah. Is everyone else coming?"

"No. They're all gone to dinner so it's just gonna be us. I-if that's okay with you."

"Like a date?"

"Yeah I guess."

"Corbyn, you know Jack will kill you."

"Nobody gotta know we went together."

"I dont know Corbyn."

"Oh okay. I guess we can forget it then." He sighed and walked over to the door. I looked over at him and sighed.

"Let's go Corbyn."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Like you said, nobody gotta know." I giggled and ran outside with Corbyn right behind me.

On the way to the theater, he kept looking at me weirdly. But honestly, it felt weird to be out with Corbyn. Not in a bad way, of course. I like Corbyn. He's a sweetheart and if it weren't for Jack being my brother, Corbyn would definitely be my favorite boy.

As we walked out of the movie, i turned to Corbyn.

"Corbyn, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah sure."

"You said that everyone else was out at dinner, right?"

"Yeah why?"

"How come Jonah was in his room and Aubrielle was in the living room with Angel and Daniel?"

"They must've come back early."

"Corbyn Matthew Besson, don't lie to me. Why didn't you ask everyone else to come?"

"Because I wanted some alone time with you. We don't get to hang out anymore and I miss my best friend."

"I miss you too but you know you can always come hang out with me whenever you want."

"Yeah I know." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Then why don't you ever come to my room to chill?"

"I dont know."

"Corbyn, are you afraid of Jack because he warned you that if you were to get too close to me, he'd find someway to make you regret it?" I giggled at the thought of my brother being tough.

"No. I'm not afraid of that. Jack is a softie. He would never be able to make someone regret something." He chuckled then looked down. "I am afraid that if I hang out with you too much, I might fall in love & I'm not sure that'll be good for either of us."

"Why do you say that?"

"You've seen all those movies where the guy, or sometimes the girl, falls for the best friend and the other person doesn't reciprocate those feelings. And then when the first person moves on, the best friend that didn't have the same feelings, finally realizes they were wrong & suddenly wants to be with them. And you know, sometimes those movies have happy endings & they sometimes end up together but what if we didn't have a happy ending? What if we had the worst ending to our relationship ever? Would we still be best friends? No. That's highly unlikely and it sucks because you have no idea how hard it is to stay away from you."

"Corbyn, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that I fell in love & I figured you wouldn't return those feelings so I tried to stay away but it hurt. I couldn't tell Jack because he'd kill me. So I told Daniel & he told me to ask you to the movies to see what happened. But nothing happened. I didn't kiss you, you didn't kiss me. I didn't grab your hand & I probably should've because maybe you wouldn't pull it away and that would be a sign that I needed to kiss you. And now I'm just being the world's biggest idiot because youre staring at me like 'what the fuck is he talking about' and I think we should just go." He looked down again.

"Corbyn, can you look at me for a second?" I asked, he shook his head. "You never asked how I felt about you though. You just assumed I didn't have the same feelings." That made his head shoot up & I looked into his eyes. "You're not an idiot Corbyn. You're the most thoughtful guy I've ever met. You always put everyone before yourself and you're so smart. Corbyn Matthew Besson, I love you too."

"You do?"

"Yes, you moron." I giggled when his arms wrapped around me. "Now what?"

"Wanna try another date tomorrow night?"

"Yes please." I smiled and looked at him. "Just as long as we hide it from Jack."

"I'm sure we can do it. We're both super smart and also SUPER good looking."

"Damn straight." I giggled.

Liked by seaveydaniel, corbynbesson, jackaverymusic and 4,738 others

abbyavery: ive been missin, ive been crushin on you all night 😘😍🌎😊

jackaverymusic: since when? what? imzachherron: dude, this is 100% about @jonahmarais abbyavery: @imzachherron okay and what makes you think that? imzachherron: because he sings this verse in the song abbyavery: you suck @imzachherron 😂 imzachherron: so i was right? 😱 abbyavery: @imzachherron no comment

Tags: @ijustreallylovethem @samithepixie @averysgarl @jackaverybabe@trustfundshawn @lovableherron @beautybesson @jackaverx@scenteddanielseavey @beccagraceseavey@dolantwinmagconwhydontwestan-de @lilah-or-lily @dailydoseofherron @hales-a-bells @obsessedlittleangel-deactivated @zaddydaniel @brizzebesson @ramenavery @splendidseavey @smilingseavey @ilovejackavery @polaroidseavey @poutyavery

#taking you #chapter 1 #nobody gotta know #why don't we fanfic

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