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#i saw him live last january
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do ya'll fuck with john mulaney
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mayspicer · 5 months
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Girl help I really need to do the test tasks for a new job or else my life is gonna get very bad real soon, but all I want to do is draw ttrpg characters.
#majek says shit#ok so Im jobless since august but I had a safe amount saved to live a little too comfortably until about now#and now I have money left to live relatively normally until January and after that uhhhhh bad 0 money left#I got caught in a trap of “animators are always wanted in gamedev you'll find a job in 2 weeks” thing everyone seems to genuinely believe#turns out every studio on earth is looking for Seniors and Leads or 3D animators that turn out to be 3D generalists able to do everything#from concept to every kind of model optimised for games and texturing and rigging and mocap and keyframe stuff and vfx is also nice#and I'm like “hello am animator know how to make character move. i can give them skeleton but not necessarily if in 2D”#“have a few years of experience in gamedev but got fired just before the premiere of my one title that will list me as animator”#got fired along with many others because the publisher backed out and there was no money to keep most of the artists this close to launch#so far only two studios followed through with the recruitment. one makes casino games and asked me 3 questions through mail#they wanted to know why im looking for a job. have I heard about them before and how much I wanna earn. also added that my personality#should shine through my answers. sure xd. the other is a mocap studio and they want me to do a test. in software I last used 5 years ago#and its mocap which I dont like and know almost nothing about how to do it#and I WANNA DRAW. I made a disaster of a cleric to replace Cayden in the old party and Im itching to draw him properly#also there is secret satan and a whole queue of scenes from recent sessions#including the lase one when Cayden was possessed by an ancient wizard (?) for a few seconds and now has mild ptsd#there were such cool visuals there because he was connected to a tentacle that pierced the back of his neck and his eyes went black#and I had to fight the party from that moment. hit them once with a big fire damage spell and then passed a save. and then failed again#fortunately the party destroyed the artifact that did the posessing and it ended. but my boy simultaneously experienced some cosmic horror#beyond his comprehension. and kinda saw his own hands casting fire at his friends. all while he was fighting in his head with some tentacles#and being watched by first disembodied black eyes and then by a shadowy figure#now he has weird nightmares of more cosmic horror and gets uneasy if he looks at the night sky for too long ;o;#I also have a drawing of the party celebrating their promotion to captains and like 3-4 sketches and one other big scene#in which Cayden has a romantic tension moment with another character while casting prot from evil on them to save them from mind control#also I have a commission to finish that a friend paid for LAST NOVEMBER#but that mocap studio is waiting for this test for so long now I have to do it if its the last thing I do in my life
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softtdaisy · 4 months
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🌲 a found family l max verstappen
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summary. you and max can't spend Christmas together but a trip to his dad and the love he has for you make him realize that he deserves better. a better life. a better love. a better family.
words count. 2,596
a/n. and this is the last piece for this Christmas series. Thanks to all of you for sticking me through December. and a massive thanks to my favorite person @monzabee for encouraging me and for giving me this beautiful idea to end the series 🫶
a very angsty Christmas l masterlist
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You looked absolutely gorgeous, wearing a dress Max had bought you this year during one of your holidays. One of the many gifts he did to you this year, because if there were one thing that could describe your boyfriend it would be his generiosity. That man could buy you the world if you wanted it. 
And that was maybe what was making him the saddest tonight.
He could see you wearing it and neither could he offer you his gift. 
Because you were not spending Christmas’ eve together. But in each other’s family.
“You know this look is a great excuse to skip the diner at my dad’s?” Max asked which made you laughed. He was still sit on your bed, his shirt barely closed and his hair absolutely not styled. He was the closest to his place, compared to you who had to drive for almost two hours. 
He watched you as you walked to your phone, that you had put on your wardrobe to show your whole look. “You’re such a flirt, Maxie.” you kept laughing, specially when he started making his poutty face that you absolutely love. You always found it funny how most people saw him as this arrogant guy when he was such a sweetheart. 
“Ain’t I allowed to flirt with my girl?” 
“You are. It’s a shame you won’t enjoy the result of this flirt tonight.” 
This hasn’t been an easy decision for either of you. It’s was only your first christmas together since you started dating on january. And you really wish you could have spend the evening together. But you learn one thing through this past year: never go against Jos Verstappen’s plan. 
From the first race you attended, you got the feeling Jos didn’t really appreciate you. You tried to talk about it with Max without making a whole drama out of it but he didn’t really react. Or say anything, actually.
Not that Max didn’t care. It was even far from it. He just didn’t know what to do. He never talked about his personnal life with his dad and it wouldn’t be a first now. Specially not with these type of question. Max always assumed that his father only care about his racing career. It couldn’t be that bad if he wasn’t interested in his son’s couple. Right?
“I have to go” you told Max, who was lost on his thoughts. He enjoyed for the last few seconds to sight of you before you had to hung up. “Call me if you need, alright?” 
“Even if I don’t need it.” he laughed before letting you go.
Every time he had to say goodbye to you, on the phone or because you couldn’t follow him for the next race, Max felt a little hole in his heart. He never thought one day he’ll met someone that could complete him like you did. 
That’s all he thought about until he arrived at his dad’s place. All the thing he wanted to do with you before the new season starts, where he would take you during the holiday, which races you could be there and what places he wanted to show you during these weekend. More than just happiness for your couple, Max realised how important you were for his anxiety. Before he met you, most of the time he had to drive to see his father, he was anticipated all the bad things that could happen. The critics, the disapproval, the yelling if they really did disagree on something. And the worst part was that, in the end, he was just living the nightmare before it happened.
And maybe it was the fact he didn’t think about all these things before arriving, but Max felt good when he arrived.
“Uncle Maxie!” And being around his nephew was definitely a good help.
For many years, Max never consider having children. The anxiety he developped because of his own childhood was a perfect argument to avoid trying. How could he give a child what he needs if he doesn’t know himself what a kid should have? He knew what he shouldn’t do, that’s all.
But these past weeks, from seeing his nephews and calling them, he realized that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.
And maybe, you weren’t for nothing in this change of mind.
“You’re shinny, uncle Maxie.” 
“Shinny?” he laughed, still playing with the little cars that represent all the Formula one drivers.
“Yep. You’re happy.” 
Max didn’t know what to answer to that. But then he felt two hands on his shoulders and a kiss from Victoria on his hair. “He’s right.” He turned around to look at her. He guessed that the look she had was just another proof that indeed, he was lookier happier. “It’s for the toast, come.”
It was some kind of tradition. Everyone had to say what they were grateful for at the end of this year. Kids, health, career… each other always revolved around these subjects. Max was not going to break the circle. Not today.
“Well I’m grateful for the amazing year I spend. Winning the championship again was more than I could expect at the beginning of the season. So yeah I’m grateful for the team, for the work we did to win the races and create such amazing memories all together.” 
Max stopped for a few seconds, thinking about what he could be grateful for. There was one thing, obviously.
If he met his father’s eyes, he wouldn’t have continued. But he didn’t. He looked at Victoria and her massive smile. 
“And I’m grateful for my girlfriend. I couldn’t have go through this crazy year without her. She’s my rock, she’s my best friend, she’s without a doubt my soulmate and I’m glad I could finally found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
Max heard all the lovely and loudly sound from his family. And before he could notice her, Victoria was already in his arms, telling him how proud she was that he finally found the happiness he deserved.
Again, he could have focus on the good thing, all the congratulations and excitement about this new family member that they all couldn’t wait to meet. But this time, Max did saw Jos look on him. One that he sadly knew by heart: disappointment. 
At first, Max decided to ignore the situation and spend most of the evening playing with his nephews, pretending to be a car himself to drive them around the house. But he couldn’t escape the heavy atmosphere forever.
Max saw that Jos was sitting by himself in the living room, with a whisky in his hand. He hesitated, did he really wanted to break all the good vibes for a talk for his dad? And then again, he was too nice to avoid him. No matter if he knew he would end this conversation with some broken feelings, Max couldn’t escape it. Because if there was one thing he was sure about, it was that he never wanted to become like his father. A man that would rather ignore the people he love for the sake of disappointment. Silence was never the solution.
“So, how do we feel about new season?” Max asked, sitting next to him. If there was one subject they couldn’t really argue about was his career. Or at least, even if there was some disagreement, it wouldn’t end up badly.
“You have to leave her.” It was simple. Five words. Said with a hard tone. Like an order. “You’re already losing your man over that…stupid girl. You can’t let yourself fail for a woman, Max.”
Maybe he should have gone with the swerve, in the end. “What do you mean? I’ve been with her for a year and I still won.” He could have, maybe, understand if the season was a pure fail. But it wasn’t. The car was amazing and he won almost every races. There was not single doubt that not only you weren’t a burden but you were a motivation for him. It didn’t make sense. But still, Max knew where all of this came from. Because he knew his father.
“A woman is always a burden in a career.” 
“This is why you got married thrice?” It left his mouth without Max had time to notice it. Truth is, he got tired as he grow older of the need to think about his words. What could he say what he mean to his dad? Why should he still be afraid? “Trust me, you terrible at giving relationship advices.” 
“You should watch your mouth.” Jos replied, taking a stew towards his son. For many years, Max used to step back to avoid the confrontation. Not anymore.
Instead, he took at step towards too. “You should watch yours. I won that fucking championiship, again. And you can’t even congratulate me? All you think about is the woman that want to spend her life with me? Not you, me.”
He noticed the change, again, in Jos look. It was getting darker and darker, like his anger was taking over himself and he was close to not be able to contain himself. Usually, Max was scared of the moment he would explode. There was just one change in his mind. You.
Max could accept any criticism about his career or life choices, he didn’t care. It was his life. Sometimes he might be wrong and he could deal with his dad saying that he warned him. He was still young and could deal with some mistakes.
But there was one thing he could never let Jos critcize or give his opinion on it: you.
“I won’t let you ruin your career for some stupid woman.” Jos got the time to grab his wrist. Max hated feeling like a child, all over again. Looking for his dad approval. 
Expect that this time, he didn’t want it. “Fine. It’s my career. I don’t need your opinion.” he managed to free himself and was already leaving the room. He couldn’t continue this without letting it become some shit show. No matter the situation, his family didn’t deserve it. Specially not on Christmas eve. 
“If you don’t leave her, then i’m not supporting you anymore.” 
Max stopped in the middle of the room. He heard the sound of a glass falling in the kitchen sink. He heard the sudden silence in the children’s playroom. This was the results of year of fighting for Jos seeing him as an equal, as a real driver and not a child who wants to grow older and be consider an adult. This was the results of feeling like his dad loved him.
Max was hurt. But he couldn’t fight anymore. “Fine.” he didn’t turn around, didn’t want to look at his father. It wasn’t the idea of seeing him. It was the idea of Jos seeing how bad he broke him, again. “I’ll do better without you.” 
The silence was still everywhere when Max walked to his sister to kiss her and said goodbye to his nephew. It was for the better, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to fight if they asked him to stay. But Victoria knew his brother, and what he deserves was to be in a place where he felt loved. 
And there was one where he knew he would never be ignored and rejected.
When you opened the door, you imagined different scenarios. But never one where you would see Max on your doorstep. “Baby?” you asked with confusion, almost like you were sure he was real.
“I’m sorry, I should have called, I know i wasn’t invited but…” he didn’t need to continue. Because you recognized the look in his eyes. One you sadly saw before. When he argued with his dad on the circuit and you couldn’t do anything than holding him in your arms. Telling me it would get better. That he wasn’t alone.
That was the only truth Max needed. He was far from being alone.
So you offered your hand to him. “Come in baby.” you noticed the little hesitation in his look, on that sadden you. It wasn’t that Max didn’t want to come in. It was a pur fear of opening his heart to you and losing you after. It didn’t last long, because he knew deep down that you were here to stay. But you were scared that this was a kind of thought that would never leave his mind.
You gave him a small and simple kiss on the lips, a kind of silent promise that you were supporting him. It wasn’t much, but it was more than Max even asked for. He was so not used of being understood and loved, this simple attention was enough to light up his heart again.
“Sweetie, who’s th… Oh Max! What a lovely surprise!” 
You were interrupted by your dad who almost push you away to take Max in his arms. You weren’t surprised. First, because your dad was a very lovely and tactile person who couldn’t resist this type of greeting. Second, because he appreciated Max so much, he was probably the one praying every day for a wedding. Third, because he had been asking you all night why you didn’t bring him. 
But Max, on the contrary, was more than surprised by that. Was he really that happy to see him? “Come in, you’re getting cold. Did you eat? We have…” you didn’t even hear the rest of the sentence that your dad had already pulled Max to the living room. Your boyfriend just had the time to turn around and give you a curious look. To which you replied with a smile. It felt right to see him being appreciated and treated like he should.
All your family spend the night talking to him, asking questions and making him feel like he was home. That was the truth, actually: this place was also a home for him. It was yours. And your family already considered him as a part of it. There was no reason for Max to not be a full member. 
It wasn’t until you got to bed, in your bedroom, that he let his mind speak. You were laying on his chest while he was looking at the ceiling and caressing your hair. It was relaxing for both of you to stay in silence after the crazy night you had. 
“I’ve felt much more at home here in a few hours than in all my life with my dad.” Max said slowly, in a whisper.
You turned your head just enough to look at him while he was still focused on his thoughts. You were making a whole speech in your head to make him feel better. You had no idea how he felt about this. This must be such a strange situation to feel more loved by your family-in-law than your own. 
But then he put a kiss on your hair and started to smile. “Thank you.” he whispered, like he was scared to be heard by anyone else. “For finding me and for loving me.”
You could feel your heart melt at this confession. “Thank you for opening your heart to me.” you replied. 
And you stayed like that for a good minute before you made a debrief of the whole evening here. When you both fell asleep, you realised you had the greatest gift you could ever dream of. Happiness in the arms of your loved one.
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natailiatulls07 · 22 days
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Can you do reader is Lando’s little sister and favourite but they barely see each other cause reader is at boarding school and she surprises him at the race. Also cameo of some other drivers too please.
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Lando Norris x sister!reader
Summary - Request above xo
Warning - Like one swear one
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During her last year of primary education, Cisca and Adam both sat their youngest child down and discussed the possibility of boarding school. 
Both knew it would be hard for the whole family to separate. Yet they both also knew that it would make their lives a lot easier. 
With Landos up and coming career in motorsport racing and the rest of their children's careers also slowly building up, neither parent wanted to deprive or abandon Y/n. So with her agreement, they enrolled her into a well reviewed and well known boarding school a few miles out of Bristol. 
Laurence Crawford Boarding.
The first few days, of course she was homesick. Missing Lando more than anyone else in the family. Of course. But eventually Y/n made friends and was becoming more and more independent by the day.
-
“Hey Mum!” The young girl giggled down the phone. She was in her shared dorm with a few friends when Cisca called. “Annie! No stop! Ew!” 
Cisca took note of her daughter's divided attention, taking an easy guess that she was hanging out with a few friends. “Hi sweetheart, am I calling at a bad time?” Even though neither could see each other, she had a warm and proud smile on her face just thinking about how far Y/n has come.
The innocent giggle down the phone grew quieter and quieter. Y/n was walking away from her friends. “Sorry mum, yeah I can talk. We were just having a games night in my dorm…” Ciscas heart just warmed, happy that her youngest child was growing up and maturing.
“Oh no worries, go and hang out with your friends! Have fun!” And with a couple goodbyes and a ‘I love you’ between the two, Y/n was back hanging out with her friends. 
-
Unlike her younger years of boarding, Y/n hadn’t been home from school on the weekend in a long while. She couldn’t; especially with her exams quickly approaching, she was in her dorm studying and revising most  weekends.
This meant the youngest Norris hadn’t seen her family in a few weeks. Of course she had spoken to them but hadn’t been home since the end of January, and they all understood why. It was harder for some to swallow that pill - well harder for one person particularly e.g Lando.
The Silverstone grand-prix was just around the corner and all he wanted was for his youngest sister to be there. Yeah it was selfish but he missed her, to be far the last time the two saw each other was early January. He missed her so much.
“Are you sure you can’t just take the exam early and then come and support me?” His rough voice rang through Y/n's phone whilst she was highlighting her revision. Lando wasn’t even trying to hide his annoyance.
A gentle laugh followed by a sigh was heard from Y/ns side of the call. “I’m sorry Lan…I can’t ask them to move the exam, it’s against the rules of the exam board…”
She didn’t have an exam that week actually, she was lying. Y/n was going to be in Silverstone that sunday. It’s just that Lando didn’t know, oh no it was a surprise.
What he thought was happening was that everyone else from his immediate family would be there, except Y/n. 
Everyone was in on the surprise. All excited to see the pair reunited. Surprises were always one of the things the Norris family loved to do.
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Y/n - Good luck today! I’ll be juggling revision and watching the race, I hope to hear our national anthem pleaseee  Lando - Thank you angel, don’t wear yourself out Y/n - I should tell you the same thing
Lando thought she’d be tucked away in her dorm room whilst they were texting back and forth. A vast contrast to her current location; in the passenger seat of Oliver's car. The sun was shining through the windshield and down over her bare knees.
Y/n was wearing a white summer dress, some comfortable trainers and her signed mclaren 4 cap. Looking ready to spend the day in the British summer sun supporting one of her older brothers. 
She was smirking. He really had no clue about this. “Okay so he thinks I’m still at school, oh my god I can’t wait!” 
With her gcses, Y/n hadn’t been to a race in a long time and she missed it; watching from her dorm was not the same. In her dorm, she didn’t get that real excitement that would course through her like it would in the McLaren garage.
Looking over to Oliver, he was also smirking. Just remembering how he had to deal with Landos sulking and the clear signs that Y/n was by far his favorite. “Yeah he’s gonna be so happy when he sees you!”
-
Once they arrived, Y/n was quietly escorted through the back way to the McLaren garage. They couldn’t have the press ruining the surprise. Luckily for Y/n, her spot in the garage couldn’t be seen from anywhere Lando would be.
She stood between her parents whilst her other three siblings stood on either side Cisca and Adam. “I’m so excited!” When she was handed her headset, the girl got even more excited because she could hear her brother's voice through the radio. 
He had yet to win his first grand prix and she hoped he would get to that top step of the podium, especially at his home race. And hopefully without him knowing she is here, he will focus on that exact outcome. 
-
It was a hard race, lots of action and stress. Something Y/n liked, she hated a boring race - this sport was about racing, not riding cars in the same positions in several circles. But the most important thing to note from this race was the number four McLaren parked in front of the number one place in Parc Ferme.
The papaya garage was very much in celebrations, including the Norris family. Turning to face her mother with tears in her eyes, she noticed how Cisca also had tears in her eyes. “He did! He did!”
Adam, who is also over the moon with the win, takes her hand and starts to lead her over to the Parc Ferme to surprise the driver. Reaching the Parc Ferme they stand waiting amongst the McLaren staff and up against the barriers.
Lando pulls himself out of the car and makes his way to celebrate with his team. It’s only when he moves to give Adam a hug that he notices his little sister and he gasps. 
“Y/n?” He can’t believe his eyes, he thought she was back in her boarding school revising. 
Immediately the driver breaks from his father's embrace and races to collect Y/n in his arms. The two siblings were laughing and crying together. Finally reunited after a long time, in their opinions. 
After a few seconds, Lando moves to collect her face in his hand gently - trying to see if his eyes are deceiving him, they weren’t. “I thought you had an exam!” He shouts over the cheers around the two of them. 
Y/n just smirks cheekily and shakes her head. “Nope! Surprise!” Soon her smirk turns into a groan when Landos hand moves to mess up her hair, laughing breaking out between them once again. 
Everyone saw. The cameras around Parc Ferme all broadcasting the reuniting of two siblings who just missed each other. “You’re such a little shit!”
Shrugging her shoulders, Y/n smiled. “Everyone was in on it! Our family loves a surprise!” So when Lando turned to look at his father, Adam just nodded - Happy to reunite two of his children.
-
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babydollmarauders · 9 days
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WHO’S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME? — JACK HUGHES
jack hughes x fem!reader
summary: in which jack hughes should be afraid of what y/n can do to his reputation
notes: yeah, idk what this is either; there’s not much plot.
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september 16th, 2023
deuxmoi
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24,107 likes
deuxmoi pop sensation, y/n, is seen hands on with new boy toy?
if anyone has any information on who this man is, do come forward! we’d love to know who america’s queen of heartbreak anthems is with now!
view all 549 comments
user82 the hand placement?! HELLO?!
user3 oh great, new music where she makes herself some sad victim again
user55 a new love album next?! maybe?!
user09 let’s not get ahead of ourselves, it’s some low grade pap photos posted on a gossip blog. it could’ve been a first date for all we know
user45 @/user09 with the way they are in these pics? absolutely NOT a first date. y/n has famously said she doesn’t get “frisky” early on because of her ex. most definitely a bf
user92 oh her next song is gonna HIT
user06 that guy kinda looks…. where were these taken and when?
deuxmoi all the sender said was that they saw them in michigan last night! know something?
user06 hmm the tl matches! that looks like it could be @/jackhughes , a hockey player for the New Jersey Devils!
user98 OH MY GOD, YOU’RE RIGHT!
user67 those hands?! girlie better never let him go!
september 27th, 2023
y/nofficial
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liked by sabrinacarpenter and 4,628,961 others
y/nofficial every dead end street led you straight to me 🤍
view all 7,923 comments
user72 SOFT LAUNCH OH MY GOD
user5 oh he’s got her using emojis?! she’s down BAD
user29 i’m so happy for her, she deserves so much love and happiness and it seems like he gives that to her 🫶
user6 MOTHER?!
user01 what poor boy did she sink her claws into this time?
user9 if you don’t like her, why are you on her post? obsessed much?
sabrinacarpenter he scored 😉
y/nofficial sab!! nah, i think i did!
user92 he better be treating her damn good! it’s what she deserves after ‘he who shall not be named’!
user76 i know who you meant but also started giggling at the idea of her writing an album about voldemort 😭
y/nofficial @/user76 gasp! don’t you know who lover is about?! the dark lord and i just couldn’t make it work :(
october 10th, 2023
jackhughes
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liked by y/nofficial, nicohischier, and 815,736 others
jackhughes as a wise woman once said: “i was enchanted to meet you”
tagged y/nofficial
view all 2,865 comments
y/nofficial my sweet boy 🤍
jackhughes my pretty girl
user76 A HARD LAUNCH
user94 THEY’RE SO SICKENINGLY CUTE 😭 SHE DESERVES THIS
user36 JACK IS DATING Y/N?! OH THE SONGS THAT WILL COME OUT OF THIS
user8 he could do so much better
lhughes_06 about damn time
trevorzegras JACK WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE JOKING
user02 oh they’re so cute 🥹
dawson1417 did you just… hard launch with the biggest singer in america rn?
jackhughes y/n says “what? like it’s hard?” idk what that means
user16 can we talk about how happy she looks?! and i know her hockey loving self is giggling and kicking her feet over her landing a hockey player! too cute!!
john.marino97 if her next RED-like album is about you, i’m requesting a trade. can’t believe i’m gonna have to listen to songs about YOU
january 1st, 2024
y/nofficial
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liked by jackhughes and 5,827,025 others
y/nofficial thank you 2023, you brought so much love and laughter 🤍 can’t wait to see what 2024 brings!
tagged jackhughes
view all 7,503 comments
user86 oh she’s so down bad she was taking pics of him at his game 😭
user9 one tour pic and three pics regarding to jack? she’s so in love
jackhughes here’s to another year with you, my talented girl
y/nofficial i can’t wait for another year with you, my love 🤍
user55 i can’t wait to see you in KC this year!!
user7 she’s truly living her best life and i’m obsessed!!
user21 i hope 2024 is just as good to you as 2023 was!
january 26th, 2024
deuxmoi
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36,592 likes
deuxmoi fan submission: trouble in paradise?
pop sensation, y/n, and her boyfriend, hockey player Jack Hughes, were seen out by a fan last night. the fan claims that they overheard y/n consoling Jack about his recent injury that has left him unable to play. in the video (on our site), you can hear y/n telling Jack “i know not playing is hard, i know it’s sad-”. Jack is heard cutting her off and snapping “you don’t get to tell me about sad. you don’t get it, so stop acting like you do.”according to the fan, y/n left the date alone and in tears.
what do you guys think, is this couple over?
view all 1,251 comments
user29 wow what an asshole, she was just trying to be comforting
user4 wtf?
user07 yeah, can’t say i didn’t expect them to end soon enough
user99 she was trying to comfort him and he snapped at her? yeah, i’d hope they’re over
user20 she deserves better
user19 it’s just an argument, everyone is being so overdramatic
user3 do i think they’re over? no. if we know anything about y/n, it’s that she’s forgiving, sometimes to a fault.
user67 i don’t think they’re broken up but if she was leaving alone and crying, i hope they will be soon enough
user82 has anyone thought that maybe he didn’t need comforting?
user13 umm, obviously he did if he snapped at her
user98 idk about everyone else, but i do think they’re broken up if she left alone and was visibly upset
user23 oh i can’t wait to hear what she writes about him. i’ve known he seemed too good to be true
february 14th, 2024
y/nofficial
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liked by oliviarodrigo and 7,431,846 others
y/nofficial happy valentines to my favorite boy 🤍
the most kind-hearted, respectful, and loving man i’ve ever had the pleasure of being able to call mine. nobody is perfect, but i think you’re pretty close to it. i’m so eternally grateful to have you in my life 🤍
tagged jackhughes
view all 278 comments
user6 oh, she’s still with him
user02 y/n, baby, please come to your senses
user14 i don’t like him at all after last month
jackhughes happy valentines, beautiful girl ❤️
user65 “nobody is perfect” oh, mother is telling us rn
comments on this post are now limited
march 23rd, 2024
deuxmoi
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29,783 likes
deuxmoi looks like y/n and her hockey beau have called it quits! eagle eyed fans spotted last night that they’ve unfollowed each other on instagram and y/n deleted all photos of him.
previously, y/n ONLY followed jack, now she’s back down to 0, which fans seem to read as a finality to their relationship.
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user95 about time! after that spat in january, i feel like everyone was waiting for this
user72 EVERYONE MOVE! EVERYONE REJOICE! MOTHER IS FREE!
user24 GOOD RIDDANCE!!
user61 can’t wait to hear who the catalyst was, him or her?
user3 obviously she’ll make herself out to be the victim
user61 @/user3 tell me you’ve never actually listened to y/n without telling me you’ve never actually listened to y/n 🙄 she doesn’t shy away from admitting if she was the one who ruined a relationship, she admits she has problems and that sometimes she gets in her own head
user8 it was obviously him after that video in january
user23 everyone is celebrating but have we stopped for a second to realize that she’s probably really heart broken right now?
user70 fr! like, she seemed so in love with him and i feel so bad for her. she seemed to love him a lot more than her exes and we all know she’s a hopeless romantic at heart, so she was probably imagining marriage and babies with him and then he showed his true colors
april 1st, 2024
y/nofficial
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liked by tatemcrae and 14,698,276 others
y/nofficial there’s always a fool, but i guess all’s fair in love and poetry… new album THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. out May 14 🩶
but surprise! the first and only single, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? comes out April 19 🩶
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user18 MOTHER DOES NOT PLAY!!! AHHH
user63 may 14th 💀 she said “i’m not fucking around, y’all WILL know who this is about.”
user9 significance of may 14th?
user63 @/user9 it’s jack’s birthday 💀
user00 OH SHE MUST REALLY HAVE SOME SHIT TO SAY IF SHE’S ACTUALLY DROPPING A SINGLE BEFORE THE ALBUM
user78 i wonder if jack feels stupid yet
user12 new y/n album before GTA6
user93 the vibes??? mother didn’t write an album, she wrote a EULOGY
april 19th, 2024
y/nofficial
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liked by john.marino97 and 9,726,820 others
y/nofficial at this hearing, i stand before my fellow members of The Tortured Poets Department with a summary of my findings.
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? out now.
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user72 i’m speechless
user2 “you don’t get to tell me about sad” SHE REALLY FUCKING DID THAT
user33 I AM IN SHOCK!
user94 MOTHER CALLED HIM OUT
user78 once again i ask, @/jackhughes do you feel stupid yet?
user61 dude just got surgery and she still came for his neck 😭
user09 i mean, not like she was gonna change the release date just because of that but it’s still so 😭
user22 “the scandal was contained….. at all costs keep your good name” she really spoke on the january spat, didn’t she?
user12 “WHO’S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?”
user77 @/jackhughes you should be
john.marino97 🩶🩶
user82 oh he’s MESSY! i love it 💀
user50 tbh, i look at this single like a warning. it sounds like jack didn’t think it through before he broke her heart and didn’t think she would speak on him, but she’s warning him right now that he should be scared because she has a lot to say about him and their relationship
user31 she’s so— i love her
february 8th, 2025
y/nofficial posted on their story
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february 10th, 2025
y/nofficial
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liked by john.marino97 and 11,762,936 others
y/nofficial brand new, full throttle <3
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user93 i- did she just inadvertently tell us we’ve all been wrong about who So High School is about?
user77 this is the fastest she’s ever gotten into a new relationship and you know that means she has to be in LOVE
user04 AHHHHH Y/N AND JOHN MARINO
user82 how do you know it’s him? she didn’t even tag anyone and you can’t see his face
user04 @/user82 she posted john on her story a couple days ago! they’re on vacation together while he’s on bye-week!
user23 i don’t wanna get ahead of myself but,,, they met through jack, did they not? and now they’re dating? mother is messy
user51 is it messy? yeah, maybe- but people have already looked back through old interviews of his, and she’s been his celeb crush for a WHILE now. and i mean, hey, she’s dating someone only a couple years older than her now, one can only assume he’s more mature than j*ck
user92 the way she clings onto him 🥹
user88 she deserves happiness, i really hope he gives that to her 🫶
john.marino97 i knew what i wanted and i got her ♥️
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sooshihu · 10 days
Text
charles leclerc x reader ~ instagram au
prompt: the great looking driver we all know and love creates controversy with his new and surprisingly young girlfriend
warnings: age gap
january 5 2024
yourusername shared a story
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yourbestfriend liked your story
user liked your story
charles_leclerc started following you
charles_leclerc liked your story
user liked your story
user liked your story
wagsf1
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liked by user, user and others
wagsf1 !charles leclerc has been spotted with an unknown girl outside of a club in monaco!
after this picture was taken he allegedly drove off in his new ferrari with the girl
comments
user she does look like his type that’s for sure
user YALL I FOUND HER SHE LITERALLY JUST TURNED 18 LAST NIGHT
user im sorry WHAT
user mr leclerc going younger and younger i see
user didn’t he like break up with his girlfriend like 3 weeks ago?😭
user our fav walking red flag🥰
user oh to be her…
and 457 more
february 2 2024
yourusername
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liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc and others
yourusername 💦☀️🌊🤍
comments
yourbestfriend 😍
user @charles_leclerc mr hitting on fresh 18s that you?🥰
user that’s deff charles’ yacht
user my guess is she’s going after his money to pay off those student loans
yourusername how did you know🤭
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f1gossip
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liked by user, user and others
f1gossip charles leclerc with his supposed new and very young girlfriend😉 let us know your view on this couple!
comments
user still think she’s after the money
user why you all hating we don’t know anything about her yet💀
user fr like calm down😭
user she can’t be mature enough for him she’s just a kid
user he wouldn’t be with her if she wasn’t
user i saw her instagram she doesn’t look like the bitch yall make her out to be just saying
and 374 more
april 2 2024
yourusername added a story
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charles_leclerc liked your story
charles_leclerc replied to your story:
je t'aime, magnifique❤️ (i love you, gorgeous)
april 25 2024
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc and others
yourusername joy of missing out 🤍 enjoy the little moments you share with only yourself
comments
charles_leclerc 🤍
user it’s over he commented a heart on her post they’re offcial😔
user am i the only one who LOVES her vibe?😍
user deff not! she seems like a very nice and humble person to me i don’t know why she was getting so much hate
user “she’s just 18 blah blah blah” it’s not your relationship leave her alone
yourusername i love you
user the age gap is kinda wild tho
user hair care routine??
may 3 2024
charles_leclerc added a story
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user liked your story
user liked your story
yourusername replied to your story: ❤️
yourusername replied to your story: ❤️
yourusername replied to your story: ❤️
yourusername replied to your story: ❤️❤️❤️
yourusername added a story
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may 19 2024
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and others
yourusername haters be hating because they don’t wake up next to charles leclerc like i do
comments
user WERE YOU SILENT OR SILENCED DEAR HATERS
charles_leclerc wouldn’t want it any other way🤭
user THE CAPTION SHUT UP I LOVE HER
user do you see his smile? and yall still think she can’t make him happy cause she’s ‘too young’💀
user Something About You - Eyedress, Dent May ~ 0:44
user the amount of things i’d do to wake up next to either of them is concerning
user every book girlie dreaming about their age gap trope
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and others
charles_leclerc she’s gotta pay off those student loans somehow, am i right?
(last pic is me proudly taking all of the pics above)
comments
user charles simping for yn is so real omg
user love how they’re making fun of the gold digger rumours😭
user charles.jpg when?
user i just know it would be full of yn pls
scuderiaferrari after the loans are payed off we suggest buying her a ferrari of her own 👀
user the unseriousness of their hard launch captions are highlights of my day
user she’s living our dream fr
user can’t decide if i wanna be him or her
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lacollectionneuse1967 · 5 months
Text
slip of the tongue part 4 - the last train home
Theseus Scamander x Reader
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summary: you are kidnapped by grindelwald and theseus is stranded alone, unaware, at a train station--he's left to believe that you do not love him and you are left in enemy custody with no one coming to save you. the world always had a way of finding out what you loved and taking it from you. but you always found a way to hold onto hope until your hands were bloody, and you always hoped you'd still make the last train home...
fem!reader. theseus scamander x reader.
category: hurt-comfort. romance.
warnings: none
part one / part two / part three / part four
author's note: yeah i wrote another long chapter again sorryyyyy! also there are no sexy times in this one haha.. this is actually the last part of this fic! taking requests for other theseus fics after. hope you enjoy :)
November, King's Cross Station
"Don't come. Don't come," Theseus thinks. "Be safe and happy and do not come."
And then, with a selfish tug of panic, he relinquishes the hideous truth of his desire:
"Come. Please come."
Theseus is standing at Platform 9 3/4, craning his neck over the crowds of wizards in their mismatched regalia, some in whimsical velvet robes and long caps and others in London business suits. The existence of the magical world alongside this one always did seem to him an impractical, impossible thing. Clunky and disjointed parts clacking together.
Until, until...
You. Muggle girl, born and bred, but you were the best wizard he'd ever met. The whole world seemed to make sense, suddenly, with your introduction into his life, these two worlds, magical and unmagical, were contained within your very existence, perfectly.
For the first time in his life, the thought of you brings him pain.
"She'll come," he thinks again. Banish the pain. Banish all that isn't useful or good.
The train whistle blows, his wristwatch reads 7:14. There's hardly anyone on the platform anymore.
He knew, knew that you wanted him too. Loved him. He saw it in your beautiful, hopeful face every time he reached out and touched you, you were so willing to fall into his touch, to surrender yourself. Sweet angel in his bed, in his arms.
"Last call!" A train attendant leans out from the car up ahead to shout it. Misery snakes around his heart. It's an icy and menacing revelation, that you might not choose to be with him.
He has never asked much of you, was always afraid to as your boss and your friend. But in these last days he's realized he's underestimated you, critically. He was so afraid of scaring you off he hadn't recognized that you don't scare easy.
He glances at the train attendant's cinched expression and then around the platform again, with blind urgency, eyes darting to every face, hardly seeing the strangers at all.
"I didn't push her too far this time. She'll come. She'll come."
"Last call!" The train attendant calls again, irritably. She's doing him a favor by waiting at all.
When Theseus steps up into the train car he politely apologizes to her. He even smiles charitably. She returns it with a blush, but rolls her eyes, taking his ticket.
He settles down and pulls out his book to read. Orders a coffee. Nothing is out of the ordinary.
Theseus has always been a sensible man, a capable one. He'll tell Newt you didn't want him. He'll put his energy and efforts into the resistance against Grindelwald. He looks fine, and maybe one day he will be.
He knows, logically, that you will be too. But he cannot deny that part of him was left on that platform tonight, and he cannot deny that it might remain there for good.
----
January 
The woman lingers in the shop, her gaze flitting from shelf to shelf without much intention.
Theseus knows that he's ceased to be a novelty. Small as Hogsmeade was, he's been living there for a little over two months. The village's residents no longer looked to him or Newt, or Newt's "friends," with any curiosity or suspicion. If the woman is loitering around, it's because she wants to speak to him.
"Mrs. Beaumont," he inquires, trying to be as patient as he can, wiping his hands off on a rag before placing them flat on the counter. "Can I help you with something?"
"Oh!" She seems relieved he's broached conversation, walking eagerly to the front counter that he's behind. "Mr. Scamander, I just wanted to say how very happy we are to have you and your brother here. Apart from the students, it always gives me hope, seeing young people and newcomers moving here."
He nods warmly, offers a closed-lip smile, but says nothing. He knows Mrs. Beaumont is one for long, chatty, pointless conversation. If he struck one up he'd never hear the end of it.
Theseus wants to close up for the evening. He wants to return to his living quarters at the inn. The potion shop was supposed to have closed ten minutes ago.
From Head Auror to humble assistant shopkeeper. If he thinks about that disparity too much he starts to go insane. Veritably insane. But he tries to rid himself of useless pride, something he'd been so occupied with before. Tries to remember what he's doing here, what's at stake. The position at the potion shop was just a cover. The evenings and long nights--that's when he, Dumbledore, and Newt did their real work.
Mrs. Beaumont shuffles out of the shop, made shy by her confession.
It's unseasonably warm for mid-January, the snow patchy, in wet-looking, thin sheets of ice spread over yellowing grass. Most days the sky is mercifully blue, bright and pale. But the sun still sets early, and it's a purple evening by the time Theseus locks up.
"Dammit," he curses softly. The key gets jammed in the lock sometimes. He's sure there's some way this could be made more efficient through magic.
The potion shop where he works is at the very edge of the village. The back window overlooks a white, roaring river that crumbles rockily down the hillside towards the Black Lake. Theseus starts his walk back towards the inn, back into town, unseeingly.
He knows the way so well by now that sometimes he just winds up in his room, with no memory of the walk at all.
Theseus looks forward to meeting up with his younger brother tonight.
Their relationship has improved, considerably, within the last two months. At nights when they have no other work to do and no Grindelwald-related assignments from Dumbledore, Theseus helps Newt on his book about magical beasts. Newt's notes were these soul-crushingly disorganized collections of writings and sketches, his findings all haphazardly piled together in a barely-bound journal. Theseus had been helping him turn his work into a more readable format, maybe something that could one day be published. Theseus had forgotten how much he enjoyed working with magical creatures in school, had forgotten that he was quite good at it too.
A loose paper currently adhering itself to his boot breaks him out of his reverie. It crunches when he tries to walk. He stops to kick it off, unsuccessfully. It looks quite old, half-torn and filthily brown, and a bit frozen as well. He leans down to pick it from his shoe with a grimace, lifting it up in curiosity.
WANTED.
The image of your face on the paper is enough to make him stop walking completely, stop breathing. At first he thinks he's hallucinating, he'd always known you'd come back to haunt him.
He's in an alleyway, one he doesn't take often, he doesn't know what compelled him to take this route today. He looks up in horror at the grey brick walls. They're plastered with the same, tattered poster of you, the one calling for your arrest, who knows how long they've been up.
WANTED: Have You Seen This Witch? Y/N Y/L/N.
Contact the Ministry of Magic immediately if you have any information concerning her whereabouts.
The posted reward money makes his stomach turn. But the sight of your face, that does something far worse to him.
The photo they used of you is from your first day at the Ministry. A cropped and zoomed-in image of you smiling, with eye-welling pride, in front of the huge wooden door to the Auror Office. In the image you move after smiling for the picture, you look around with an anxious, unsure sort of happiness. He draws his thumb over the dirty paper, the picture of your face.
This isn't possible. This can't be real.
He runs to the inn. His lungs are burning from the cold, dry air, but he doesn't stop. He pushes through the doors and Aberforth stands up from one of the tables by the bar, startled.
"What do you think you're-"
Theseus ignores him, breaking into the back room and falling to his knees before the fireplace. Wand shaking in his hand, he places a Floo Call to Thatcher Birchen. He's an Auror. More importantly, he was Theseus's friend from his Hufflepuff days. He wouldn't betray Theseus, not willingly.
When Thatcher's face materializes in the coals of the fireplace it looks unhappy to see him.
"Theseus, you shouldn't be calling me here. You didn't leave us on the best terms-"
"I know, I'm sorry. I wouldn't reach out if it wasn't an emergency."
"I'm not keen to talk to you regardless," Thatcher snaps. But he doesn't end the Floo Call.
Theseus realizes with a pang that Thatcher is scared. But Theseus doesn't understand why. He's diligently avoided all news press and talk about the Ministry these last two months, hoping to avoid you. No Ministry talk, no new editions of The Daily Prophet, just work with his hands. Moving a rag over the wooden counters at the potion shop, running the numbers and taking up accounting. Restocking boxes of ingredients.
This seems to him, now, to have been a great and careless mistake.
He thought you'd be running the Auror Office now, taking names, that Newt could reach out to you at a crucial, appropriate time.
"Did..." He has to ready himself to say your name aloud. "Thatcher, did something happen to Y/N? I saw a flyer today that said she's missing, that she is wanted under suspicion of espionage. Did something happen while she was working as an Auror?"
Theseus doesn't want to reveal too much. He's worried bringing you to the gala in Berlin and the Mausoleum in France that weekend in November might have already incriminated you.
"Theseus," Thatcher explains in a hushed tone. "Y/N Y/L/N never filled the post at all. I-I heard something about a potential offer the day you quit, but she disappeared that very night."
Theseus can hardly hear the rest of what Thatcher is saying, his whole body has gone numb.
"No one saw her in the weeks after her disappearance. It was assumed she'd taken up with Grindelwald. It had already been proven that she'd stolen some important documents from the Ministry Archives-"
"How?" Theseus's voice breaks on the word, miserably.
Thatcher sighs sympathetically.
"They found her wand and analyzed it. Found a spell that made copies of documents associated with the Ministry Archives. Hence the assumption, hence the wanted posters they put up a while ago..."
Theseus knows this could never be true. You and Grindelwald.
"What do you mean by 'found her wand''?" He asks with sudden, horrific clarity. You've been missing this whole time. Without a wand.
"That same night you resigned. They found it in front of Kings Cross Station."
The air is sapped from the room, Theseus unthinkingly flings some fresh coals onto the Floo Call with a limp palm, it collapses the shape of Thatcher's face and the call crumbles into nothing. He didn't say goodbye, he has to get some air.
He's so taken aback, reeling with nausea, that he has to brace himself against the wall with both hands. He keels over and dry heaves for a few seconds.
Two months you'd been missing.
And they'd found your wand at the station. You'd been coming, coming for him. This whole time he'd thought...
Newt bursts into the room, Aberforth is standing behind him looking uncertain, alert.
"Theseus! Aberforth told me--But... What's going on?!"
Theseus stands and closes the door so it's just the two of them. He's wearing the apathetic, half-conscious expression of a sleepwalker.
Newt takes a seat in the wooden chair.
"Newt... Grindelwald has her. He's had her this whole time. Since the day I quit the Ministry."
"I..." Newt's reaction doesn't satisfy Theseus. He looks troubled, but only vaguely.
"Newt," Theseus starts again with newfound frustration, passion. "While we were laying low, writing your book, restocking shelves, while we were brought up to the castle at Christmastime, Y/N has been in his custody! Tortured, starving, alone, I don't know. When I think about it, it kills me. I can't handle it-"
"We don't know if she's even alive, Theseus," Newt says this rationally, albeit unhappily. "Grindelwald doesn't keep prisoners unless they are valuable, important. She might be dead. When I heard she wasn't promoted to an Auror in November-"
"November?"
Cold rushes into Theseus's veins. There is no silence as deadly as the one that follows. He can feel his blood crystallize and crack, it’s too bodily a sensation to even call it shock. It’s betrayal. 
“You knew?” 
All those months collapse into nothing, they mean nothing to him.
For so long Newt kept his distance, felt misunderstood by Theseus and their mother for the path he chose in life. And yes, perhaps Theseus did misunderstand, did judge him for it, never took his career or his interest in magical beasts seriously. Maybe he was berating at times, suffocating with his good, brotherly intentions, and they’d drifted apart as adults. 
But these last eight weeks in Hogsmeade they’d mended that, delicately, bruisingly, as one mends small bones, with small intrusions and concessions. Quiet conversations, sessions where Theseus helped him turn his work into something resembling a book, living together for the first time since they were children. 
But that means nothing to Theseus now, nothing. 
Newt doesn’t meet his eyes, the shame too heavy to lift his head. He’s sitting, hunched over in his chair like it is mounted to the floor.
“No,” Newt breathes out. “No, Theseus. I knew she never became Head Auror. I knew it went to… to someone else, but I didn’t know she was missing.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?" His voice is torn-sounding. More hurt than enraged. "You didn’t even suspect—you didn’t reach out once?! I don’t believe you.”
“I swear it to you—“
“You should’ve told me.”
“You told me she didn’t love you!” Newt looks up at last, eyes wild with the panic of a cornered animal. “That she didn’t choose you! I-I don’t know what we could’ve done for her even if we did know…” 
That there is a new wound, it blackens Theseus’s heart to hear it.
“I know Dumbledore knows where Grindelwald is. Christ, it was Y/N who stole those documents from the Ministry archives, those maps! We can go to her."
Newt just keeps shaking his head at the floor. It makes Theseus want to go up to him and shake him.
"If it were me, Newt, you would’ve come for me….”
“That’s different. We don’t do these sort of rescue missions, they’re too dangerous. Grindelwald, he—he’s untouchable.” 
“You make me ashamed. You have always, always been braver than me. I didn’t realize it before, when we were kids, but you have. You were never a coward, Newt. Don’t let this fight change you.”
“Theseus, if we try to rescue her we will lose everything. I cannot risk this, cannot risk them.”
No one else is in the room but Theseus knows who he means. Jacob. Tina. And the other ragtag insurgents who have found their way into Newt’s crew over the last two months, who have decided to set aside their lives to fight.
Newt is staring at him pleadingly. Theseus feels he doesn’t recognize him anymore, feels as if he is standing in the room all alone. The space between them stretches and stretches until Theseus speaks again.
“No,” Theseus’s throat is dry, his voice subdued. He shakes his head. “No, I wouldn’t ask you to… I’ll go alone.”
“Theseus, please don’t—“
He turns and leaves, cutting the conversation short.
This has never been negotiable. He let you slip away from him once, asked you to, encouraged you to in his last letter.
He would not let you be lost again.
——— 
You almost miss being tortured. Well, no, that isn't true.
But anything seems preferable to this ever-expanding, engulfing nothingness. After that first week of torture and questioning in which you revealed nothing they wanted to hear (thankful that Newt had kept you in the dark), none of Grindelwald's followers entered your cell. They don't even feed you often enough to keep you alive, but it seems more like carelessness, derision for your muggleborn blood status, than like they are trying to kill you.
If it weren't for Queenie you would've starved to death.
The first time Queenie slipped into your cell to sneak you some bread you tried to kill her. Her reading your thoughts and reciting them aloud, frantically, as if they would save her or prove her allyship, actually did save her. She stunned you into a dumbfounded stupor. You'd never met someone with her abilities before.
She was a funny woman. A devoted follower of Grindelwald who revealed little and had an oversensitive disposition, but you soon grew to appreciate her clandestine visits. She was kind. Remarkably so. Not only for feeding you, but for sitting and talking to you at all. That was its own kindness.
You thought you knew loneliness before, but this...
You knew your mind was a hostile place, even before you were brought here. But being left alone with yourself was the worst torture Grindelwald could've thought up.
You distract yourself with your less injurious thoughts, and avoid thoughts of Theseus at all costs.
Those are so painful you dare not think his name. In your mind, a blotted, blacked-out figure remains in his stead, a hole you've torn out yourself. In those first days, you'd repeated his name out loud, like a mantra, and thought of him liberally and without pause, even while you were being tortured.
"Theseus. Theseus. Theseus. Come save me. Please, come find me."
What waste. No one was coming. All you had ahead of you was this nothingness.
Sometimes, lights move outside the slit in your wall--too pathetic of an opening to be called a window. You can’t even see out of it, it just lets in cold air. Those shadows and flashes of light are the only color in your world. Sometimes when you look down at yourself, even your hands look black and white, made sepia and sickly gray.  
The lights are sometimes orange, swooping lights, like arcs of fire being dropped overhead. Sometimes green, watery, glowing darkly like moonstone or bioluminescence. What you see aren't the spells themselves, but just the brilliance they cast into your room from the courtyard.
You don't know what Grindelwald is doing, what sort of spells are producing these bursting, sporadic hues.
You lie sideways on the floor and stare at them playing out against your wall, soft glowing spots sinking and rising.
They remind you of the magical lights, bobbing and hanging mid-air, that the Ministry decorated the Atrium ceiling with for the annual Christmas party. That was one year ago, though it feels like a past life, or a dream...
----
One Year Ago, December
You'd never heard the Atrium so full of people and life. It was usually bustling with conversation and noise, but this sort of noise, the happy noise of laughter and popping champagne bottles and high-spirited chatter, that was new.
You crossed your arms, glass in hand, watching contentedly from the sidelines. You never knew how to conduct yourself when Theseus was with Leta, you strangely felt as if you'd be caught doing something wrong. So you endeavored to avoid them both.
And besides, it had shocked you, the dull knife-turn of pain you felt watching him with her, talking to her in the corner at the beginning of the party.
You'd gone mute for the night, head swimming, gazing at the decorative lights floating overhead. All your thoughts felt buoyant, distant and hard to grasp, bobbing in and out. You knew you were spacing out, but you couldn't stop, maybe it was the mulled wine.
You had just turned down the promotion earlier that day.
"We're going to you directly to ask if you want it. We wanted to ask you first," the department head had said with great satisfaction, like he was delivering you a personal gift. "We know if it were up to Theseus he'd have you by his side 'till he retires!"
The last part was said with a half-joking laugh, but you'd tilted your head in confusion.
"Sorry, what?"
The man scoffed.
"He likes you very, very much, Y/N," the man said, like it was obvious. "He's made that explicitly clear to his colleagues who were hoping to share you as an assistant early on. It was his express wish that you work with him alone."
'He likes you very, very much.'
The idea of being liked, chosen by him... It was like a shooting star crashing over your head, light falling around you in bright shards, fatal, dazzling, undeserved.
You startled when you felt a hand on your forearm.
"Y/N," Theseus said, pulling you out of your thoughts. "There you are."
He'd been looking for you. The thought made your heart soar, felt like being chosen all over again.
There was a wild merriment in his eyes. You couldn't tell if he was tipsy or just happy to see you.
"Here I am," you echoed in confirmation.
"Dance with me?" Before you could answer he cautiously pulled both of your hands, winding his fingers through yours and slowly guiding your arms in and out to the rhythm of the song.
You couldn't help but give into him, smile, laugh, you were never not going to say yes.
"Where's Leta?" You didn't want to ask, to ruin the moment, but it seemed right to.
Theseus shook his head and made a tutting, disappointed noise, twirling you around.
You dipped your head back and the lights whirled overhead, too radiant to be stars.
"She left. She doesn't like to dance. Doesn't like parties, actually."
As if afraid you were going to leave him, as if just to hear your laugh again, he spun you once more, more vigorously.
"Dance with me, Y/N," he bemoaned.
You laughed again and let yourself be spun and caught by his arms.
"Aren't I doing that now?"
"Good," he said resolutely, pleased. His smile was infectious. "Don't stop."
You felt like a girl again, weak in the limbs and susceptible to all sorts of hope, the dangerous kind. His hands in yours, the dazzled look in his eyes as they beheld you.. You regretted nothing.
"I won't leave until you tell me to, sir." You added in the honorific sarcastically, to keep the tone light, but the look on your face was terribly earnest. "I promise. You'll have to send me away."
----------
You don't remember falling asleep while looking at the lights on your wall. You didn't mean to think about the Christmas party, about him.
More often than not, more often than even the nightmares about rabid dogs and black water rising and the orphanage, you dream about the last train home. About the night your parents died.
Your family was poor. You did not hold this against them. You were too young to do anything but love your parents dearly, indiscriminately. You were barely seven years old, but you worked most days in the factories of East London and were happy to help, to not be burdensome like the hungry, needy children in story books.
That evening after work you'd been distracted, playing with a stray dog with some other children, and you missed the last train home. You resolved to sleep at the station, flat on the ground of the platform, and take the first train in the morning.
Your parents had gone out looking for you and were killed in a nondescript alleyway, found with their empty pockets turned-out. You dream about that night, that platform on the London Overground, you fear missing that train.
And, now, that is not the only missed train that haunts you.
Someone's here.
You wake, instantly. Your eyes open with a dispassionate immediacy.
There's no train. Fingers twitching, you instinctually reach for your wand for what must be the thousandth time, to protect yourself. Its absence feels full-circle almost.
You remember how you couldn't sleep your first year at Hogwarts, you'd stumble to class with tormented little dark circles under your eyes. You were too terrified to sleep, kept fearing you'd wake up and be back at the orphanage, that it would all be taken away from you if you didn't keep your eyes open.
Strangely, since you arrived in this cell, you haven't had any trouble sleeping at all. You sleep most of the day away curled up on the floor like a baby.
"Queenie," you mutter, sitting up falteringly. "Watching me sleep, are you?"
Queenie is standing with perfect posture in the corner of your cell, by the door, wringing her hands.
"I don't know how you sleep like that, on the floor..." She seems genuinely upset when you look up at her. “You must miss all your things. Your home. Your family… I’m so sorry this has happened to you.”
You shake your head slowly.
“No. I was born with nothing, nothing. This room it feels…” You glance around, as if seeing it through Queenie’s eyes, seeing it for the very first time.
Metal chair with a missing leg in the corner. Filthy blanket on the floor. It’s more barren than awful, anyone could’ve lived here. 
“It feels familiar to me," you admit.
Queenie says nothing, eyes wide. Since you met her here, she’s never seemed at ease, never seems to know what to say. For a moment the two of you just sit there in vacant silence, neither of you really present.
"You don't say his name anymore."
You don't even want to acknowledge the comment, you stare at the corner of the wall and hope what she's said will just go away if you don't.
"Theseus," she says explanatorily, as if you didn't understand her. The word is an affront from her mouth, worse than a slap, it makes your stomach twist. You feel exposed. "Do you...Do you feel betrayed by him? That he hasn't come..."
You close your eyes to gather your bearings.
"No," you say. "It would be very strange, almost a pleasure, if anyone in the world could betray me. Stab me in the back. I don't trust or know anyone well enough for that. I wish."
You're trying to sound self-deprecating, maybe even funny, but there's no energy behind it.
Queen looks at you sadly, sympathetically. Sometimes you forget about her ability to hear your thoughts. How futile it is to lie to her now. It embarrasses you, that you still care what she thinks. That you're still attempting to shirk off your pain for her sake.
“But Queenie,” you turn your head to her, defeat written all over your face. “Queenie, my God, what am I doing here?”
Your life is in tatters again and you don’t even know why. They tortured and questioned you when you first arrived, but you hadn't seen anyone but Queenie since.
“You’re a spy. You were working with the Scamanders,” she recites this as if reading off a rap sheet. It’s clear it’s what she’s been told, and is the flimsy, defensive logic she’s using to justify you being here.
“So why hasn’t he killed me already?” You can’t help how lifeless your voice sounds, almost bored.
Too much pain is a deadening, desensitizing thing. At some point, it ceases to be effective. Grindelwald’s followers have pushed you past that point. 
Queenie’s expression shutters closed.
She always seems so conflicted, whether she’s helping you or following Grindelwald’s orders, there’s some secret turmoil eating her up inside.
“Please,” you say.
“Grindelwald thinks you could play an important part in his plans, in the Spring. It’s… Do you know The Predictions of Tycho Dodonus?”
You know it from school. You think back to the Lestrange Mausoleum, to what Newt told you. 
“Prophecy 20? But Credence he can’t be-“
“No, Prophecy 21.” 
You stare at her, not following. 
When she speaks it’s as if her voice comes from behind her, not from her. The prophecy tumbles from her painted mouth and fills the desolate cell:
“Come bleeding springtime,
come new leaves, come bone:
A lone daughter destined,
Without bloodline or home,
To transform darkest skies,
With great power, unknown.” 
She looks at you meaningfully. 
You scoff.
“Kill me then. That I am living…. Your Grindelwald is a fool.”
Queenie bristles defensively. “No! H-He is a great man who-“
You wave her off, weakly.
“There are plenty of muggleborn witches without homes, Queenie. Just head to the orphanage Hogwarts plucked me from in North London and you’ll see. The prophecy is not about me. I’m nothing special. I’m nothing…” 
You know your fatigue isn’t natural. Despite Queenie’s best efforts, you are malnourished. Made simple-minded and irritable because of it. Frail.
You don’t hide your spell of faintness as well as you hoped to. Your eyelids are low, sedated.
Ever the mother hen, Queenie rushes to your side, kneeling.
“Let me sneak in more food, honey. Just give me a moment, I can-“
“Wand,” you say, your voice battered and forceless. It’s a strain to lift your eyes to meet Queenie’s then, to open them. But you make a point to.
Your voice is feeble, but your eyes are challenging, fierce.
“Queenie, if you really want to help me, get me a wand.” 
“Y-You’re too weak. Even if I could get one to you, it would be too difficult for you to escape, to fight them, there’s—“
Your laugh is so deranged sounding, so sharp and unhinged that it silences her, cuts through the empty room bright and blade-like.
“Queenie,” you sigh. “Why do all wizards talk like that? Magic is the easiest thing in the world. Besides, you haven’t seen me fight.” 
-----
No one expects it.
You've been so docile and half-alive after being tortured, the guard who brought your meal is so confused he doesn't fight back at all, merely tumbles backwards with astonished, wide eyes until you're able to knock him unconscious.
When Queenie brought you the wand earlier that day you'd tried in vain to convince her to come along with you. To escape and return to her sister, Tina.
She hadn't even said no, she just said, "I'm sorry."
Your legs wobble with every hurried, barefoot step. God, you don't know when the last time you walked was, nevertheless ran. It doesn't help that the castle is foreign to you. Queenie's succinct directions did little to capture the sheer, gargantuan size of the building.
Turn left. Down the staircase. Turn right. There's a locked door at the end of the hall. There might be guards on the other side.
You recite the instructions again and again, more to stay sane than to memorize them.
You round a corner too fast and are met with three men, dressed in dark tailored-suits. You unleash three spells, one for each, quick, tearing through them before they can even turn. You don't breathe, you don't miss.
You feel sorry for it, but you can't afford to be delicate or careful or merciful. Every second you're here is a moment Grindelwald could realize what's going on and come kill you in a heartbeat.
Hearing the ruckus, another man comes flying down the main hall, snarling.
"Avada Kedavr-"
You spot the exit and don't stick around, ducking your head and tumbling out into the courtyard, twisting your ankle but not missing a beat.
You keep running forward, stumbling, half-delirious, out towards the main iron gate.
You're shocked to find yourself at the summit of some snowy mountain. The world is blindingly white. The building you've come from is some stony fortress, more grand than you'd imagined from the bleak confines of your cell.
The air is arid, thin and dry with brutal cold. It burns to breathe in. Cuts like sandpaper in your throat.
You have to get past the gate to surpass Grindelwald's anti-apparition charm.
Almost there, I'm almost-
With a jolt you turn around. You can feel him looking at you, feel the strength of his gaze with the same recognition of a prey animal realizing they're being watched, hunted.
Grindelwald.
From the high tower window his face has gone serene with fury. Almost blank. The look in his eyes is beyond angry, it is rage in its purest, most distilled form, he hardly moves.
You tear your gaze away and lurch your body through the front gate.
You don't know where you are, you thought about apparating to London, but that's the first place they'd go to find you again.
Then you think of Hogsmeade, but it fell under the same anti-apparition wards that guarded Hogwarts.
"Nearby, then." You direct your magic, channel and funnel it all in the direction of the place before the image of it is even fully formed in your mind. "Feldcroft."
In a cutting, dizzying whoosh you are spelled away.
Feldcroft was an inconsequential village of wizardfolk, small, rural, not too far afield of Hogwarts. You'd spent one summer holiday there rather than go back to the orphanage, after your first year.
You'd helped a farmer work his land during the long summer days in return for meals and lodging. You were twelve and it was the hottest summer of your life, you hadn't known Scotland could be so hot, but anything was better than going back where you came from, terrified you'd never find your way back.
Before you've even landed you realize your folly. You were too weakened by the torture and starvation, and too far away.
You hit the ground bone-breakingly hard, but you hardly notice that dull, throbbing pain over the sharper, louder pain of being cut to slithers. Your skin twists and tears away from itself, from your muscles, in spirals and stripes. You couldn't fully stick the landing, it's an imperfect apparition, and this is the consequence.
You cry out, a crumpled heap on the frozen ground, limbs twisted and bloody.
With a rapidly blotting vision you strain your neck upwards.
"Did I make it? Am I safe?"
You don't even recognize Feldcroft. Winter had stripped all the fields and mountains of life. Summer, your childhood there, it's all long gone.
Some prophetic witch destined for greatness.
You see the blurred legs of a man approaching. When he leans down to look at your face, your limbs twitch in agonizing protest, but you're too injured to move.
"Y/N?" He says.
You inhale sharply, in pained horror.
"Y/N, I didn't recognize you."
You still can't see very well, but the liquid panic in your veins dissipates at the sound of his voice. You know him.
You hadn't recognized him at first, but it was the farmer, Mr. Howell, from what must've been a decade ago. The old man who had taken you in that summer when you were twelve. You remember him being old then, but he looks impossibly older now, ancient, really.
You don't know what to do with the recognition, with this information, but it doesn't matter because you are bleeding out and, within seconds, you feel a sweet and pain-sapping unconsciousness take you.
----
When you wake your consciousness is a flimsy, fragile thing, like trying to float a feather in air. Your vision is black and brown around the edges.
You're in a bed and Mr. Howell is putting a kettle on. You feel worse than you ever did in captivity of Grindelwald, closer to death.
"It still looks the same," you say, rasping. "I didn't recognize the village, but this house..."
A swell of weakness overtakes you again and your vision almost blacks out completely before returning in a soft vignette.
You can see the farmer, Mr. Howell, staring at you from across the room, at your starved body, your bloodless face.
"What happened to you?" It's so direct a question it's almost startling, almost rude. But it's said with such genuine remorse and concern that your heart softens.
"I..." He licks his lips before starting again. "When I told Minerva I'd agree to take you in that summer... Well, I thought your life was so sad. It was sad you had no one to go home to for the holiday. That your life had been so hard, she told me, about the abuse... But you were so young, such a skinny, hopeful thing. So talented. And good. I was sure it had to get better."
You smile at him, it pains you to do so. The old-you would've bristled, pride scorched, at anyone pitying you. But now you can only smile.
"I always thought the same too, sir."
"Are you in some sort of trouble?" he asks earnestly. "If you are, you're always welcome back at the farm. You know that."
Your heart seizes, your eyes well. You haven't spoken to him since that summer when you were twelve, that September when you thanked him hurriedly and spirited off with badly concealed eagerness to rejoin your friends at Hogwarts, without a glance behind.
"Thank you. It's more than I deserve, but thank you... And, yes. I'm afraid I am in trouble. I've just been a prisoner of Gellert Grindelwald. I'm sorry, I should be leaving, he could come after me."
The man looks taken aback, but ignores your words and asks instead: "Oh, Y/N, you look so unwell. Should I call for someone up at Hogwarts? The hospital wing is obviously reserved for students, but I'm sure-"
"I believe I am going to faint now, I apologize." The words come out of your mouth in an embarrassed rush. The dark edges close in and swallow you up, life itself extinguishes like a candle.
------
Theseus towers over the students at Hogwarts, he tries his best to push his way through the crowded halls without trampling them.
"Professor Dumbledore!" He calls out, giving up. Getting the man's attention must be easier than reaching him at this point.
Dumbledore looks up, startled, from across the sea of black-robed students. He's standing in the doorframe to his classroom.
Theseus imagines how he looks in Dumbledore's eyes--helpless, drowned. Maybe insane.
When Dumbledore waves him over he continues to gently push his way forward.
"I love her, I love her," he's thinking with a plummeting urgency, each internal admission of "I love her" bringing him closer to tears.
"She's not dead. If she was I'd know. I'd feel it. I'd feel her leaving me for good."
"Theseus," Dumbledore shoos the remaining students out and shuts the thick wooden door once Theseus enters. "What is this about?"
Theseus swallows hard and holds Dumbledore's gaze, trying to effuse authority.
"I need you to tell me where Gellert Grindelwald is. Right now."
Dumbledore opens his mouth in a stunted exhale, at a loss for words.
"Pardon?"
"Y/N has been taken prisoner."
"So, what, you're going to charge in there, alone, against Gellert Grindelwald and who knows how many of his supporters?"
Theseus tries not to waver, but the panic is beginning to set in. What if Dumbledore denies him?
"If I have to," he says, purposefully.
Dumbledore walks over to his desk and sits on it, stunned.
"Theseus," he says. "I've known you since you were a boy. I-I'm sorry, but I hardly recognize you. Have you no appeal to reason?"
"None at all, sir."
Dumbledore laughs, and the sound confuses Theseus, upsets him.
"You love her? God, you really do..."
Theseus is willing to destroy himself for it, for you.
"Help me. Tell me where to find her, or I'll find her on my own."
The heavy creaking sound of the door being pushed open causes Theseus to turn in agitation.
A woman in a nurse's uniform glides right past him and up to Dumbledore.
"Albus," she says in apparent distress. Theseus can't make out the rest.
After a moment of the woman's whispering, Dumbledore turns to Theseus, looking at him in sharp alarm.
"What is it?" Theseus says, unkindly. He doesn't care. He just wants to know where you are.
"Fate," answers Dumbledore. The line of his mouth is grave but his eyes are twinkling. "We've had a request from a farmer out in Feldcroft. He says a former student has apparated onto his land and is in dire need of medical care, and protection. That there could be followers of Grindelwald's coming after her shortly."
Theseus doesn't dare breathe. Doesn't let himself feel the acute bite of hope nipping at his heels, at his heart.
"He says her name is Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N."
--------
"Wake up, Y/N."
There are hands on your shoulders. Someone is touching you. Someone is-
Your whole body jerks awake. Your limbs are lashing out, fighting, before your eyes are even open.
"Get off me! Don't fucking touch me! Don't-"
"Y/N! Y/N, it's Theseus," Dumbledore is shouting. "It's okay you're safe-"
"What's happened to her?!"
Even his name didn't stall you, but the sound of his voice, pure and surreal, reaches you through the din of panic roaring in your ears. You exhale.
Once you've stopped kicking and struggling, the room comes into vision.
There are four people surrounding your bed. You're in Mr. Howell's house, of course, of course you are...
There in front of you are Professor Dumbledore, an older woman in a Hogwarts nurse uniform, Mr. Howell, and, impossibly, Theseus Scamander.
Theseus is staring at you, wide-eyed, like he doesn't recognize you. A dot of blood marks his temple, you wonder if it was you who did that just now.
"What's happened to her?" He repeats, his voice cracks. "What--Who did this to her?"
"She's been tortured, Theseus. And starved, maybe worse," says Dumbledore in a clipped, hushed way. "Please, understand, and give her some time to-"
"You're real," your voice is so quiet, so full of wonder, but it captures his full attention.
Theseus is holding his breath in apprehension. You're still staring at him in horrific fascination.
"This isn't--This is real?"
Theseus comes forward and kneels beside the bed, reaches for your arm. You can hardly look at his face, it's so startlingly beautiful. Dark blue eyes. The curve of his lips. It's really him.
"Y/N." He retracts his hand when you flinch, involuntarily. "Y/N, I'm not going to hurt you. I swear, I'm not gonna hurt you..."
You remember that you secretly love when he talks to you like this, whispers like he would to an animal he's trying to soothe, or like he's trying not to wake you. He's speaking so delicately, but you can hear in his voice how his heart is crushed.
Everyone is staring down at you in the bed. You figure you've already been treated from the wet rag on your sweaty forehead and the way every second more and more sensation returns to your fingertips and toes. Your body itches and tingles with a crawling warmth that feels like fever where your flesh has begun to stitch itself back together--the nurse's work, no doubt.
With every breath you return more and more to yourself, the dulled sensations of the world come back in startling pinpricks of color and sound and vividness. The parts of your consciousness that make you you flood back into the frail animal of your body.
"Oh," you say, with a groan, pinching your eyes closed.
Theseus looks startled, turning from the nurse to you frantically.
"Y/N! Are you okay, what's-"
"Oh, Theseus!" You sigh at last, and he looks back to you, his brow still furrowed. You smile at him, not caring how wretched and sickly you look, you're just so happy to see him. "Theseus, you came! I love you, I love you, I love-"
He throws his arms around you, leaning over the bed.
Tears spring to your eyes, but you can't stop smiling.
He won't let go of you, so you don't realize he's crying until you feel his shoulders shaking, the gentle rocking of his frame.
"You're supposed to be the one who is good at being in control," you murmur fondly.
When he pulls away he's collected himself, sniffles once and then groans.
"Oh, God. For a second there I thought you didn't recognize me, that you were scared of me."
"Not of you," you shake your head. "Of...."
The reality of your situation settles like ash in your mouth.
"Albus," you say, turning to others. "We need to go now. I escaped as quickly as I could, but they could follow me here any second. Please."
Dumbledore nods, and then whispers something to the nurse.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. But I don't believe you'll be strong enough to stand. Not yet."
"I've got it," Theseus says cooly, before you can even respond.
"Too weak to stand," you want to snicker but can't summon the energy.
"I knew that was some bullshit prophecy," you mutter, lifting your arms to help Theseus, who is leaning by the bed to pick you up.
He stops. So does Dumbledore. They're both frowning.
"What?"
"Oh," you huff. "Grindelwald thinks Tycho Dodonus's twenty-first prophecy is about me. I'm supposed to be this great witch with the power to transform the world, didn't you know?"
There is a beat of shocked silence before Theseus begins to laugh, heartily so.
You scowl. "Why is that funny?!"
"It's not funny," He caresses your face affectionately with the back of his hand. "It's just that I knew it. I always knew you were destined for greatness. Of course there's a prophecy about you. Of course the world saw you coming..."
Your heart sputters dutifully, weakly. You're torn between leaning into the feeling of his hand on your face and turning away, protecting yourself from what you cannot have.
It still feels so ruined to you. You know he must be doing this out of pity. Out of guilt.
It had been more than two months since he asked you to come with him. Who knows what he's been doing, what he thought of you now...
Your eyes prick with tears at this realization.
You see him through the lens of the memory even as he stands before you. You remember shaking his hand on your first day at the Ministry, dancing with him under twirling lights at the Christmas party, his booming laugh, his gentle chuckle. The warm, growing feeling in your chest knowing you were the cause.
You remember laying naked with him in bed, his broad hands, the barely-there freckles at his temple, the light-colored hair trailing down from his navel, the way he held your legs up when he made love to you, when he was inside you, spreading them, always trying to get deeper, closer. It should be vulgar, the memory, but it doesn't feel that way to you. Every moment of it felt clean, bathed in light and goodness.
Your heart pounds heavily, pathetically. As he helps you up from the bed you have the sickening feeling that you are saying goodbye.
Your vision swoons, sways like an overhead light. Your legs tingle, half-numb.
"I-I can't stand," you whisper. In a swift motion Theseus scoops you into his arms, bridal style.
He has to hold you sideways and duck his head to get through the narrow doorframe, he's so tall. You're asleep again, this time safe in his arms, before you're out of the village, before you can even tell Mr. Howell thank you.
Goodbye! You think. Goodbye...
------
You’re on a train again and Theseus is holding you. You hardly feel the rumble of the train car on the tracks, hardly feel anything at all but his arms around you.
“Where are we going?” You don’t even care, it’s almost perfunctory that you ask. But some distant part of your brain tells you that it does matter where you are, where you’re going in the world. 
“London. You’re weak, we need to take you home.”
Home. You feel so little affection for your apartment that you’re barely able to make the connection.
“I don’t have a home.”
“We can go to mine. We can go anywhere you want.”
“I want to go…” You feel breathless, feeble. Delusional. “I want to pretend that we’re on a different train.”
“Hm?” Theseus strokes your shoulders, your back comfortingly. Since he met you, all he’s ever wanted to do was hug you, hold you. It’s as if he was meant to, how good it feels to be doing it now. 
It's a terrible thing, how badly he wants to kiss you. But he's willing to wait.
“Can we pretend that I made it on time?" you say. "That I made it to the platform, got on the train that day in November and we’re in it now… Pretend that you’re still asking me to love you and that I said yes.”
He turns to you then, you’re still slouched in his arms. You’re looking up at him so brokenly, there’s hardly any of you left. No sign of that headstrong girl who withheld herself from him so vigorously, who built up walls around herself so high no one could hurt her again. 
“Y/N…” The words have been stolen from him, his heart swiped from his chest at the sight of you, at the knowledge that any part of you believes that he might not want you anymore, might not feel the same.
“Y/N, will you love me?” His voice is a quiet, determined plea. “Will you say yes? I am asking you now. The offer still stands, it always will.”
It's Theseus, your handsome, wonderful Theseus, asking you this. He was the best man you knew, but, even if he wasn’t, you couldn't help but love him. It wasn't a choice for you anymore.
Your lip trembles, but you somehow manage to get the words out without whimpering, without collapsing into him outright.
“Yes,” you say. “Always.”
--
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elizabethwritesmen · 3 months
Text
The Devil Wears Lace
chapter 8: November 2, 2024
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pairing: simon “ghost” riley x reader
summary: you meet soap at the bar and finally see simon. turns out, he’s missed you just as much as you’ve missed him. he takes you home and you find out just how much.
warnings: smutty smutty smut!!! beware!! p in v, fingering, all the good things. degradation and praise, size kink if you squint, probably a few more things but that’s all i can think of! let me know if i missed any!
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November 2, 2024
It was cold outside, so I near sprinted from the cab to the bar, rushing in and hoping for some kind of warmth. I sighed in relief as the heat rushed around me, like a big hug.
I wasn’t accustomed to such cool temperatures, it never got super cold in my little beach town and if it did it was only in late January and lasted for about a day but London had been consistently chilly since I got there.
I looked around, noting that the place was a bit packed. I couldn’t see Soap or Simon or any of the guys anywhere, and I started to get discouraged, preparing to just leave with whatever pride I had left. Then I stopped myself. This was my only chance to see him. I wasn’t going to get another one, and if I blew it, who knew how if we’d ever cross paths again?
I steeled my resolve, making my way further into the pub and scooting past people as politely as I could. Finally, I saw him. They had a little booth in the corner, all of them with drinks in front of them.
I stood there for a second, nerves aflame and telling me to turn around for whatever it’s worth. I tried to push them away but the longer I stared at him the worse they got. Then, Gaz noticed me, his face lighting up as he nudged Simon on the arm and gestured in my direction.
Then, his eyes were on me. It was almost too much, the weight of them. The way they widened, he was clearly shocked. I took a deep breath in, telling myself to just walk over there but I couldn’t. My feet wouldn’t cooperate.
I must’ve stood there looking dumb for a whole minute before someone ran into me, knocking me right down onto the floor as they stepped past me, not even acknowledging what they’d done. Drunk off their ass, probably. I huffed, trying to pull myself up but someone else ran into me, knocking me down again.
“Here,” I looked up and it was him, offering me his hand. I took it carefully and he pulled me onto my feet, watching quietly as I brushed the dirt off my clothes.
“Thank you,” I offered shyly, unable to meet his eyes.
“You’re here,” he sounded like he didn’t even believe it, the words a whisper on his lips, a ghost of a thing that couldn’t possibly be true.
“I’m here,” I nodded, finally looking up with a smile and he visibly relaxed, pulling me into him and hugging me. I wound my arms around his neck, returning it tightly, relief flooding over me and healing all of the wounds that had formed since I last saw him.
“What’re you doing here?” he asked, pulling away. He looked tired. He probably felt tired. I couldn’t imagine what he’d gone through.
“I got accepted to the law school at Cambridge.” He thought over my words for a second, eyes widening when the meaning of them sunk in. “I live here now, Simon.”
“I was gonna come back for you,” he rushed out the words like an apology, “I promised and I intended to keep it. I just got back from deployment but I was gonna go the second I got clearance.”
“I know. I never doubted you for a second. I just…. I just thought something had happened to you and I worried a lot. I don’t know how to contact you, I don’t know what you look like. All I have is a first name that may not even be real.”
“I promise, it’s real,” he chuckled, “Come on, sit down. I’ll order you a drink.”
He ushered me into the booth and then went to the bar, leaving me alone with the guys who were all giving me knowing looks.
“You didn’t tell him I was coming?” I asked Soap.
“I thought it’d be better as a surprise.”
“He told us, though,” Price pointed out and I narrowed my eyes.
“So you told everybody but him? That’s so mean!”
“Not really,” Soap shrugged, “Bet not knowing he was gonna see you made it a whole lot more special.”
I rolled my eyes, sinking into the cushion of the seat, chatting with them about what had been going on with me. Finally, Simon returned and handed me a glass.
“What’s this?”
“It’s sweet, you’ll like it,” he said, slipping in beside me. I shrugged, taking a sip and grinning when I realized he was right.
“You know me better than I give you credit for,” I giggled, sipping again.
“That I do.”
We spent the next few hours catching up. He seemed like he really wanted to know what I’d been up to. It seemed like he thought he wasn’t ever gonna see me again, just like I’d thought about him, and it made the night feel more loaded than it was. I’d come to London for him, whether I admitted it or not, and I wanted to be with him. I had no delusions that he felt the same way, only the tiniest bit of hope that had dwindled in the year he’d been gone. It sparked back to life, though, every time his eyes landed on me or his hand gently brushed my hair away from my face.
“You wanna get out of here soon?” he leaned in and asked me, and I nodded.
And a few minutes later, he stood, holding his hand out for me to take, and lead me outside to his vehicle. He helped me into it then got into the driver’s side and took off out of the parking lot.
“So.. you’re based here? In London?”
“For now, yes. I still go everywhere, though. It’s just… of all the places I am, I’m here the most.”
“Oh.”
“Tell me what you’re thinkin’. You got that look.”
“What look?”
“You get lost in your head and your nose scrunches.”
“No it doesn’t,” I defended, and he laughed.
“I’ve spent a lot of time looking at your face, I think I know better than you.”
“Whatever.”
“You gonna tell me what’s going on in that pretty head o’ yours or what?” he asked again, and I bit my lip, suddenly nervous.
“You think I’ll see you more?”
“Well I suppose so, since we live in the same place now.”
“But you said you’re gone a lot.”
“Yeah. But I always find my way back home.”
I grinned slightly, “So no more waiting a few months to see you for a few hours?”
“No more.”
My grin turned into a full on smile, heart pumping a little faster as that spark of hope grew even more.
He pulled up to my house a few minutes later and walked me to my front door, waiting patiently as I unlocked it. He didn’t ask if he could come in and I didn’t stop him, we just made our way inside together like it was second nature.
“Make yourself at home,” I hummed as I pulled my shoes off and tossed them into the basket beside the door. “I’m gonna get comfy.”
I walked into my room and found a pair of sweatpants and a cropped tank top, changing out of my cute clothes and into the soft and cozy ones. When I walked back into the living room, he was sitting on the couch waiting for me. I somewhat awkwardly plopped down on the other side of the couch, feeling the butterflies twenty fold, making me almost nauseous.
He raised a brow at me, eyeing me suspiciously before turning back away. It seem almost like he was nervous too.
I cleared my throat and spoke, “I know you probably have other girls here that you like more than me. Or anywhere, really. Maybe one in every country, I’d believe it. But…”
“But?” he urged me on after I paused, and I sighed, preparing to further embarrass myself.
“I just.. I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to say. I guess I want to know… if I’m different than them? I don’t have any misconceptions about us, I promise I know where I stand and I know you don’t want anything real but do you at least… do you at least want me here?”
He stared at me for a moment, thinking about his answer, then gave it to me bluntly. “There are no other girls.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Not even one?”
“Not even one. There were none before you and there won’t be any after you.” I looked at him like I was stupid for a moment, in a bit of disbelief.
“But you’re Ghost. I - I see the way women look at you, and on top of that you’re this badass super soldier with the coolest mask ever. I’m just… I’m just me. How could there not be anyone else?”
“You’re just you, huh?” he snorted, and I furrowed my brows at him. “You’re just the girl who dances on bars and jumps in pools half naked to prove she isn’t scared? Just the girl who moved to the other side of the world to find me?”
“I didn’t come here to find you.”
He raised an eyebrow, and I faltered under it. We both knew that was a lie. “You’re the best girl I’ve met. I want you here.”
My eyes met his and I couldn’t fight off the smile. “Really?”
“Really.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding and relaxed a bit, turning to face him.
“So we have all the time in the world now,” I mused.
“We do.”
We locked eyes, and my breath caught in my throat as the reality settled in my bones. We really did have all the time in the world. He’d still be there tomorrow. No sad goodbyes.
“Come here,” it was an order, low and rough, and I jumped straight into action, scooting closer to him until I was right beside him. He grabbed my thigh, pulling it over his lap until I was straddling him and I about choked on my own spit. “Such a good girl for me.”
Fuck, I forgot how good he was at turning me into a puddle. I let out a whine and he laughed, grabbing my hips and pulling them forward to rest right on his, pulling a gasp from me.
“Been too long, huh?” I nodded, my hair falling all over the place from the force of it, “I know, baby. It was so mean of me to leave you for so long.”
“So mean,” I whined, unable to stop the way my hips moved back and forth against his, my eyes almost rolling into the back of my head because he was already hard and the angle was hitting my clit just right.
“Breathe, baby,” he reminded me and I nodded, making an effort to inhale and exhale as I kept going. “Look at you, my little slut, cock drunk already.” I nodded, groaning as he held my hips still, eyes opening and peering into his. “You been with anybody else since I last saw you?”
“No.”
“You were waiting for me?”
“Yes,” I nodded, trying to move again but he didn’t let me.
“You been making yourself cum?” I looked down at my lap, shaking my head slightly and he grabbed my chin and yanked it back up, forcing me to keep eye contact. “Why?”
“Nothing works anymore now that… now that we…” I didn’t know how to finish the sentence, but he understood.
“Now that I wrecked you?”
“Yeah,” I bit my lip, squirming against his rough hands. “Hated you for leaving me like that, don’t think anything else will ever do.”
“Aww,” his voice was patronizing but it sent heat straight to my center, “I’m sorry, baby. Let me make up for it.”
“Please,” I asked, my voice a broken moan, barely audible.
His hands stayed tight on my hips but started rocking me slowly, an agonizing pace, and the noises I was making were obscene.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he was in awe staring down at the spot on my sweatpants, “Need it bad, huh?”
“Nnhgh, uh huh,” I was close to collapsing on him, a mess of nerves that felt like they were going to snap. I needed him and I needed him right that second.
“Take your pants off for me,” he pushed me gently off his lap and I did as asked, slipping them off and kicking them away. “Shirt, too.” So I pulled it over my head and it joined my pants. He leaned forward in his seat, his hands closing around the band of my underwear and ripping. I gasped as he threw them in the pile.
“Those were expensive!”
“I’ll buy you ten new pairs,” he shrugged, kissing my tummy and then pulling me back onto his lap.
He made a show of pulling off his belt and undoing his pants, pulling himself out of his boxers and he was just as huge as I remembered. I gawked for a moment and he laughed, pulling me closer.
I was all too eager to get to it, setting myself up but he stopped me.
“Gotta stretch you out some, baby, don’t wanna hurt you.” Before I could complain, his fingers found my entrance and began stroking back and forth before pushing in, fucking into my already very wet hole and making me come undone in seconds. I felt like I was on fire as I gripped his shoulders, barely able to keep myself up. He kept that pace going, bringing his thumb to my clit, and I about jumped out of my skin, grinding down on his hand pathetically. “Just like that, baby, such a filthy little slut for me,” he coaxed my orgasm out of me with his words and I leaned down to kiss him, lips rough on his as my hips spasmed and I finished on his fingers. He brought them to his mouth, sucking them clean and I gasped, his eyes locked on mine the entire time.
“Please fuck me, gonna die if you don’t fuck me Simon,” I begged and he nodded.
“Let’s go to bed.”
I grinned and stood up, eagerly sprinting to my room and he laughed, following me. He looked so good in the doorway, large and taking up what seemed like all the space in the room just by being there. I scooted back against my pillows, waiting patiently for him in the dark room only barely lit by light outside of the window.
He walked in slowly, climbing up my bed until he was propped up on his arms on top of me, leaning down to capture my lips in his own and it felt sweeter than the rest. Our tongues slid together in harmony as his hands wandered, touching everything they could reach and it was a lot.
Though it embarrassed me, I was past the point of caring as I started begging, my cries muffled by his mouth as he grabbed my thigh and pulled it around his waist. He lined himself up and I cursed the clothes he was wearing, wanting to feel more of him.
He slowly pressed himself in, but I was gone from the tip alone. I squeaked as he made it farther and farther, letting out a whimper of pain once it got too much. I hadn’t done anything like that in a while, so I was still a little tight even with him opening me up first, and he halted.
“Tell me when,” his words were simple but they were loaded and I nodded.
“Just give me a second, please,” I whispered into the dark, how sweet it was that he was waiting for me to tell him I was okay. “Okay,” I nodded a moment later, “Fuck me.”
He growled, pushing in the rest of the way until I could feel his pelvis pressing against me, brushing my clit tantalizingly. He pulled out after giving me time to adjust and pressed in again a little faster, until he was slamming inside of me and I was a moaning, whimpering mess under him. He seemed to like me that way, holding my face tight in his hands so I couldn’t look away from him, swallowing my sounds with his kisses as he went harder.
I was close, so close I was clenching around him, and he grabbed me under my waist and tipped us over so he was sitting against the headboard and I was on top. I let out a shaky breath as the new angle sent him even deeper inside of me and started greedily grinding on him.
“That’s it, take what you need baby, make yourself cum on my cock,” his words sent ripples of pleasure through me and I could feel that peak inside, ready to tip over it. “Gonna cum with you, you want that? Want it inside of you?” I nodded desperately at his words, clawing into the fabric of his shirt as I started bouncing, needing to go over the edge more than I’d needed anything else, ever. I needed everything about him more than I was accustomed to, and I already knew that I’d never be able to do what we were doing with anyone else. Nothing else would ever do.
“Fuck, come on baby, cum for me,” his hand wrapped around my throat and my vision went white, eyes rolling back as my hips stuttered and thrashed, my orgasm bubbling up and I could feel his close behind. I rode out the high, not giving him a second’s break from my screams as his hips jutted inside of me, filling me up with his own cum, fucking me full.
We took a second to breathe when it was over, just gazing at each other. He brushed my hair out of my face, wiping under my eyes.
“Let’s go get you cleaned up,” he smiled, and I nodded, climbing off of him and making my way to the bathroom with him close behind. “You wanna take a shower?” he asked me once we were inside and I nodded slowly, exhaustion settling in. “Okay baby, let me get it ready for you.” He turned on the spray, hand under it waiting for it to get hot before turning to me. “Wanna wash your hair?” I shook my head, and he nodded, grabbing a hair tie from the counter behind me and turning me around to face the mirror as he got to work, pulling all my locks into a messy bun on the top of my head. I giggled, it looked a little silly but it was nice to see he didn’t have much experience with women’s hair.
He still hadn’t pushed his mask down, so I turned around and kissed him once, doing it for him and smiling at him once it was back in place. Then, I stepped into the shower and washed all the grime of the day off, along with all the evidence of the things he’d just done to me, shivering when I thought about it too much, missing his warmth already.
I half expected him to be gone when I got out and the thought scared me, but there he was, laying down waiting for me. I grinned, relief settling in as I pulled on a T shirt and panties, slipping in beside him and letting me snuggle me close.
“You must be uncomfy,” I furrowed my brows, gesturing to his jeans and long sleeve shirt, and he shrugged.
“‘m fine.”
“Are you sure? I can-“
“‘m sure. Go to sleep.”
I nodded slowly, smiling as he pulled me in closer, feeling like I was where I was supposed to be. This felt so different from the time he brought me home drunk, that felt like longing and this felt like forever. I tried to push the stupid thoughts away, knowing he probably didn’t want that but at the same time he was there, and he wasn’t leaving, because he didn’t want to. That thought alone was enough to send me into a peaceful sleep.
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flagbridge · 4 months
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I Saw the Phantom Proshot at the NYPL
Happy 36th birthday to Phantom's first preview on Broadway! I was going to save this post for the actual 36th, but I figure all of us need some more Phantom Broadway "original" content since the official Insta accounts are reminding us today that Phantom is no longer (though it should be) on Broadway. I'm going to post about what I saw, and I'll follow up on January 26 with all my answers!
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Some time ago, @or-what-you-will and I went to the NYPL's Theater on Film and Tape Archive, and viewed the archival pro shot of the Original Broadway Cast of Phantom of the Opera, filmed live on May 25, 1988. There is only one copy, and its purpose is artistic preservation (not commercial distribution--the library owns it). It was kept under lock and key during the show's run. All information about how to access the archive is on the website. I can't really tell you anything more besides what's out there because it will become identifying. You get set up in a room with monitors and can pause and rewind, although you can't touch the media.
This was not my first TOFT proshot, but it was the best-filmed. Some, there's a single camera just parked, or there's some generation loss because of when the tape was transferred to digital. This had absolutely vivid colors, a multi-camera shot, and brilliant and clear soundboard audio. I heard lyrics I have never heard (especially during Notes when everyone is singing over one another), the sound balancing was so good. It was as transformative as seeing it live.
These are all the notes we took while there (apologize if they can seem disjointed) More below the cut.
ACT 1 NOTES: 
-Multicam shot
-amazing audio (soundboard), vivid colors
-Raoul/Barton is crying in his voice during the auction
-there’s a “voice” that sounds like a woman singing with the overture (maybe a theramin?) We jumped in shock at this. We've never heard this before, not even on soundboard.
-Sarah Brightman comes on stage during the Hannibal rehearsal, moving across the stage with Meg during “Rome not Roma”--so she dances in the front row during the Hannibal ballet
-Hannibal ballet then has 10 dancers and since Christine is in the whole thing, there is slightly different choreo
-there’s a synth under Meg’s “he’s there, the phantom of the opera” 
-Firmin lights a cigarette and Andre (Future Phantom Cris Groenendaal) stops him right before “Think of Me’ which makes the “Defense de Fumer” on the back of the curtain make even more sense
-Think of Me Gala skirt is not as full (but of note, Carlotta’s Elissa costume is much more ornate than we have now or even at the end of Broadway)
-Raoul sings slightly different notes in Think of Me. Steve Barton goes down a few notes on “young and innocent” (it’s not belted) and is clearly wistful. 
-The think of me cadenza is absolutely effortless
-The “Bravi, Bravi” is haunting and perfectly sound balanced!
-Meg can actually sing and the Angel of Music harmonies work
-Raoul (Steve Barton) is nervous before going into the dressing room. He taps his fingers on the banister and takes a deep breath before going in
-He’s also nervous inside the dressing room–you can see him going from seeing an old friend to suddenly having feelings, being attracted to her. When he’s standing behind her he has a slight moment when he nearly touches a lock of her hair. 
-Raoul is wearing a ring on his right hand (signet?)
-Steve Barton says MY Little Lotte
-Christine (Brightman) is excited about meeting the Angel of music and has a wanting and longing in “Enter at LAST master” (in a way that Lily Kerhoas does now and we haven’t had many Christines who do this) 
-The picture is VERY CLEAR and NO WASHOUT when we see Michael Crawford appear in the mirror for Phantom’s entrance. You see everything
-When the door opens for Raoul to the dressing room after they go through the mirror, it opens slowly (vs banging open). It’s the same tempo that Phantom moves to take Christine through the mirror
-1925 Phantom silhouette vibes at the first “sing for me” 
-Not a particularly aggressive cape twirl, but def a twirl. 
-They get VERY close on “turn your face away”, almost kiss (like, Russians, Panaro/Joseph close) 
- he has a nice portcullis sprawl but she does not press against him, there is visible space between them the entire time
-”Caress” and “hear it, feel it” are explicitly seductive, the former in how it’s sung, the latter because he self-caresses on “feel it”
-the “Touch me” in touch me/trust me is half sung/half spoken order, she strokes her hand over the mask and he does not pull away
-He does have a little panic when she faints and he covers her with the cloak. He’s holding her hair when he sings to her there
-At the unmasking, MC holds for a brief moment before covering his face with his hand so the audience gets a peek of the deformity (before “damn you”) 
-Vixen not viper
-Crawls on knees, not stomach. We get…lots of crying and whimpering 
-Christine sees his face a lot during this sequence. MC lowers his hand as soon as he’s on her side of the stage from “secretly dreams of beauty” to “Oh Christine”, when he turns away–but she is looking at him the entire time. MC is angled right by a mirror shard so we can see a bit of the deformity reflected back
-Right before “come we must return”, MC is about to cup her face with both his hands before changing his mind–she starts to reach for him as well. 
-His Mandarin robe is much longer than we have now (ankle length vs calf length) 
-This Giry has witch vibes
-Steve Barton is playing eager puppy Raoul and it shows even though he looks older (Barton was 35 at the time)
-The sound balancing is so good that you can hear lines you don’t normally hear during Notes 1 and Prima Donna–including the Managers thinking that Christine has just been off with Raoul all night. 
-Sarah Brightman does a different pose on the bed as the pageboy during Il Muto. She crosses her legs vs putting her hands on her hips. 
-Firmin yells “the role of Christine Daae” to the proscenium, clearly directed at Phantom
-Barton Raoul’s “There is no Phantom of the Opera” comes off more as “Christine this is just some dude” vs “he doesn’t exist at all.” 
-Raoul loves Christine so much. He strokes her hair gently to comfort her right before “No more talk of darkness”--his eyes are soft and he’s genuinely caring and concerned (vs trying to be a hero) 
-”All I ask is for one love one lifetime”--different lyrics, she does it twice (This is on soundboards from the time)
-Raoul puts his face to Christine’s hands at the proposal. 
-Christine is clearly kissing his cheek right next to his mouth during the kiss (the final lair kiss is a real kiss) 
-Christine’s “I must go” is not as playful as we often see it later. She really is trying to go. 
-Raoul is nervous at “Christine, I love you”--he lowers his head for a moment worried that he said something wrong. He’s excited when she replies “order your fine horses”
-AIAOY Reprise: Michael Crawford is partially slumped over the angel, he’s holding hands with it to the audience’s right, and arm is slumped over on the left. We get a lot of anguished weeping, and little distressed moans as Christine and Raoul sing, there is rocking and head shaking and then covering his ears. It’s a HUGE difference then when he stands up fully for “You will curse” (he does this again during final lair between “unfeeling scrap of clothing” and “pity comes too late) 
-He also roars before standing
-The Phantom laugh/cackle continues well into the chandelier drop into intermission at the light cut out for about 15 seconds. 
Act II
-Carlotta masquerade costume has no mesh in the skirt–it’s much more of a see-through skeleton crinoline, so the feature is the purple tights
-Not surprising since Sarah Brightman is a dancer, but Christine does the proper choreography during Masquerade--she's the center of attention. Barton also does quite a bit of dancing.
-There’s an organ (almost like a circus organ) underlying the finale during masquerade
-Red Death double doesn’t run down the stairs, he stays at the top
-Giry/Raoul exchange after masquerade–both holding the lantern and super closeup
-Reyer is clearly gay–coded. Some voice and hand gestures during Sitzprobe
-Wishing–only one “help me say goodbye” (when did the second one get added?)
-”Far-reaching” gaze, Wandering Child is a duet
-Piangi says “conquest” is assured (at some point, this became “congress”)
-Michael Crawford imitates Piangi until “past the point…”
-Sarah as Christine is listening intently to Phantom’s voice and immediately noticed something is off–she doesn’t figure it out right away but she notices something. She is suspicious the entire time. It's not clear when she knows for certain.
-Christine never flees from him, during the first caresses, he hovers over her body, she turns to kiss him, he turns away, her hand lingers on her back, before she gets up to sing her solo part away from the table
-Michael Crawford’s hands are in in his crotch when Christine’s singing on the other side of the stage (“you have come here”)--he’s moving his palms in his lap the whole time, his hands are shaking, we only get glimpses of him, most of this part it’s focused on her
-There is none of the arm waving circling while their hands are held, she takes his hands, he switches his grip to hold one of hers, and they keep them on him
-She figures it out when she reaches down–she’s holding his hands above him and she pushes her left (our right) hand down and he pulls and she notices something–we can only see to his upper waist but her hand disappears and her expression changes, it’s implied he has an erection
-she doesn’t ever feel the mask, either accidentally or on purpose
-She doesn’t actually ever try to escape. It’s not the current West End or the past blocking–but more accurate in that she is aware of the situation and plays along. She keeps going with the blocking
-they both get up and keep singing, neither drags the other to the centre, they move together and keep singing 
-The last “return”--he sings it at the unhooding, she doesn’t
-”Say you’ll share with me”--he is really pleading and almost crying on “say you want me” 
-The managers don’t come out to try to usher her offstage, she doesn’t signal to them to stay
-When Phantom gives her the ring, she takes it, but doesn’t put it on–she just holds it
-He doesn’t scream at the unmasking, he just looks shocked and sad
-Ratcatcher order is different–it’s after Raoul and Giry’s first lines, that’s the indication that Giry needs to turn around, Giry screams
-Phantom is crying at “flesh” and through “unfeeling scrap of clothing”, he’s also hunched over through this sequence, and then stands to his full height at “Pity comes too late.”
-Phantom makes a big show of raising the portcullis, hands fully raised
-Raoul swats at Erik with one hand (the other is still on the noose) when Phantom grabs Christine on “start a new life” 
-Phantom is probably the “minimum” amount of rough as we see Phantoms be with Christine in this sequence, as in, he’s definitely scary and menacing but he’s not harming her. He does grab her and spin her around on “start a new life with me.” There are a few wrist grabs (which is book accurate). He’s realizing more that his plan is absolutely crumbling. We get some shots of him on the organ looking panicked.
-Phantom makes a low growling noise before “you try my patience”, which is delivered quickly and almost casually. It is not menacing as some later Phantoms do. 
-”Pitiful creature”..MC’s hand is subtly shaking by his side
-The kiss: the 1st one MC stands with “claw hands” at his side, on the second one, the “claw hands” start shaking
-MC hunches over after he burns the noose
-He stands over the monkey, conducting it with one hand, he is mimicking the symbol clashes, he doesn’t touch it or cover its face
-When Christine returns the ring, his hand shakes as he takes it, he’s hunched over again. 
-She does seem conflicted about leaving, but she doesn’t press her hand back around his, she holds out the ring and his hand shakes as she takes it. She doesn’t linger very long. 
-He says a second “I love you” after she’s gone.
-He’s about to say it a third time, he says “I love…” and then see the veil, and grabs it and screams into it, and then turns and sees the boat leaving
-He sobs and keens a lot
-Raoul bends in the boat to caress Christine’s face on “say the word”)--this is halfway across the stage as opposed to during the stage right exit.
-Deliberately cracks voice on the "can" in “you alone can make” 
-MC Cradling the veil like a baby at the very end
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SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS! You can put it in comments, reblogs, AMA or DM's. I will answer all of them on January 26!
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Yandere Alphabet: Ren Hana
I just love that dude, mkay! He has me heart and soul! This is specifically BtD2 Ren, so yeah. Favourite route of that game! This got quite long, it´s around 6k because I thought I would try something else for this, and I´m actually quite happy how it turned out! Hilariously enough I started to write this, around January 2023 and just finished it (April 2024).
I´ll hope you will like it too, because it was already one of my favourite things to reread every once in a while! Have fun!
Ren Hana
He is insane. He hates you. He loves you. He lives only for you. He would kill you in a heartbeat. Full of contradictions he tends to be a rather mercurial character. You are the first one to know that. Did you maybe, just like me, hunt down every last line of dialogue, every last image in his route. He hides away from sight, and only catches you when he is sure, that he will be able to.
„Let´s be perfectly clear, shall we. The fox is not a little orange puppy dog with doe eyes and a waggly tail. It´s a disease-ridden wolf with the morals of a psychopath and the teeth of a great white shark.“ ~ Jeremy Clarkson
For he was truly raised, tortured and formed by a psychopath. By a sadist without any morals. And on you, this little fox will discover his sharp claws and great teeth once more.
„Beware the fox that makes the ravens fly“
Run little one, run. For you will be his prey.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
When Ren gets it into his head to shower you with affection, it can get quite uncomfortable rather quickly, as he tends to ignore any personal boundaries you ever tried to communicate. He is intense in the way his eyes track you, and in those moments you wonder how you could ever miss the way. that he is a clear predator. And in the next moment he pounces on you with a sweet giggle to simply share his warmth with you. Sometimes when you´re eating, his body is pressed close to yours, with no way left for you, so that you could escape from him. He will hold food up to your mouth, expecting you to take it. His eyes just daring you to refuse him, and with the way his other hand plays with something in his pocket, the threat is clear. Other days he will hand you something, and only give you a small moment to appreciate his gift, before he will pounce on you, nearly bowling you ever, and only his hands behind your head saving you from a concussion, as he demands his reward. Cuddling you on the floor, as he lowly purrs into your ear, his tail wrapping around your waist.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
On some days you will come to the painful realization, that Ren is more animal, than human. Those are definitely the days, he comes back home with blood still splattered all over his face, and the sound of something being dragged in behind him. It´s those days, when he calls for you to come with a playful uncanny trill in his voice, that makes listening to it so unpleasant. It´s those days, when he rips the still bleeding, still warm corpse apart in front of you. Sometimes off-handedly offering you a piece of flesh he just tore out of what had been a living breathing person moments before. On other days you will realize, that while he is clearly brutal, he holds you dear. At least, it´s what you need to believe, when he violently goes for the throat of that guy who tried to touch you when you refused, and then thought you would be more agreeable when he shakes you around. It´s what you whisper in the sudden quiet in your mind, when Ren comes to you. Blood dripping of his fangs and claws, and tenderly holds onto your bruised wrist. He is cooing at you, and the rapidly cooling body behind him, stares at you with unseeing eyes. You try to desperately believe what you tell yourself, as Ren carefully leads you away, humming slightly to calm you back down. It´s what you need to do, because you thought you saw accusations swimming in those dead eyes.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
Ren does crave your love and your companionship more than anything else. So, in order to achieve that, he will try to be kind to you, after all that could help him earn what he wants. Right? He will be kind and accommodating, and his reward will be you. Though, when he realizes, that you still reject him, he won´t hesitate to be cruel to you in return. If you´re throwing everything, that he gave you simply away, well then he doesn´t need to give it to you in the first place. In the end your companionship can simply be achieved through obedience as well, no? When it comes down to it, he will mirror you. Throw back at you what you show him first. If you are kind, he will be as well. If you are cruel, he will be cruel. An almost perfect mirror, that will throw your own attitude back at you, but so much more dangerous than you could ever be.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
Ren will force his need of skinship onto you, if you want to or not. The one time, that you struggled as if trying to free yourself, you stopped out of self-preservation when his grip grew tighter and tighter, making it hard to breathe for you. Sometimes he will come to you, to simply hold your face, gently tracing it´s shape, his claws nothing but a whisper on your skin. These are the things you could tolerate. The ones you can´t are when he shushes you, more growl than calming purr, when he pulls you down the stairs towards the basement. The smell of blood, already coming over you, and you already know what will await you. You don´t kick or scream, only sob quietly, hoping that you will not make him angry. His next shush comes with him, wiping away your tears. But you shiver in fright and disgust, when you see how he licks his hand clean afterwards. Chasing the taste of your tears on his fingers. Though, this is still the lesser evil, than the dead man walking, that will await you down there.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
It would annoy you how much he talks with you, if he wasn´t the only one breaking the silence. And as long as he is chatty, he isn´t brooding either. He will talk about the most inconsequential things, throwing in stuff every once in a while that is so heartfelt, that it becomes jarring to you. You would hate how open he is with you, as if you aren´t a prisoner of his. You would maybe even react, if you didn´t knew, that he is still trying to gauge how much he can trust you with. And every time, he decides to trust you, you have to believe that this is a good thing. For your own sanity. Though you hate one specific time with a burning passion. It´s when he pulls you towards the couch, and pushes you into the pillows he already laid out. When he then stands up, to push a self-titeled disk, the ink already worn away in places, into the player. When he comes back to cuddle you, as you watch with horror living in your ribcage, how a man you never saw, but instinctively put at fault for your situation, ripping into another being with glee. When he whispers softly, about those day, when the body in the cooler, was still a man, and of all the things he did, as Ren watches you. When you wish he would just shut it all of, and he would be the only thing again, that is breaking the silence.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
The moment you try to use force against him, is also the moment you already lost. There is nothing left of the boy you knew, as the gentle cooing that haunts you in your nightmares, turns into a vicious growl, that is more fitting to belong there. You hit the ground hard, and your vision swims for a moment, till the growling suddenly become muffled. It takes a moment to pull yourself back to consciousness, and for you notice the claws sinking deeper into your shoulders, and the sharp pain, that comes from your neck, which gets so much worse, when Ren pulls back again. Blood dripping from his mouth onto your face, he gnashes his teeth at you. You don´t even scream, still numb from it all, when he pulls you down those dreaded stairs, to a place you never wish to set foot in, and yet visit time and time again. You know he will show how „kind“ he has been the whole time. He will hurt you like in those movies. But the only thing going through your mind, is the image of the pleasure he seemed to feel, when he licked your blood from his lips. Then you remember the heartless corpse downstairs. You scream.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
Ren bristles when you ask him that. He can feel how his tail bushes up, and curls around you without him consciously willing it to happen. His teeth gnash together, as he squints at you. He only stops the growl that already started up somewhere deep in his chest, when he sees you flinch away from him. He huffs instead at you, and lets himself fall relaxed back onto you. He waits patiently for you to go back to carding your fingers through his hair as you had done, before asking this, quite frankly, offensive and stupid question, before he starts purring again. He doesn´t know who he is trying to calm down at this point. He wonders, if he has forgotten to show you how much he loves and adores you. His sweet, precious thing, that stays with him, that listens to him. You, who keeps that damn ghost, that still haunts him every day away. He wonders if he should tell you, that he wants you to stay with him for forever and ever and ever. Though, that might frighten you. So he simply nuzzles you, as he purrs softly, ignoring how you flinch away from him with practice.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
You were careful. And o how careful you had to be, to not accidentally set him off. But you wanted him so badly to realize, that this was not how a relationship worked. He had mentioned time and time again, and yet you couldn´t quite believe it. And when you asked – gentle, careful, don´t anger him – he had looked at you funny, before grinning. A sly smirk, that reminded you rather suddenly, that you weren´t talking to a human. As if the ears and tails hadn´t clued you in. Though, this didn´t feel like the grin of a fox, more like a hungry wolf, as he contemplated out loud, that he was behaving rather strangely, at least to his kinds standards. After all, he was being patient and accommodating to your own behaviour till now, though, he could change if you wanted to. You shook your head, and instead thanked him. You knew he hadn´t lied.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
He whispers his vision to you in the death of the night. His quiet voice, soothing were it only makes you so afraid. He paints a picture, that makes him sink deeper into the cushions, makes him feel safe and content, while you can do nothing but watch in horror. If you were just a bit more like him, you would be sure, that your hair would be standing upright with the terror chasing down your spine. Though, what he describes isn´t so far off, what he already has with you. Have you grown this complacent, to simply give in to his every wish? He wants to lay down with you, in the sun spots inside the house, side by side, curled around each other. And your hand just burrows deeper in his hair, careful to only scratch and not pull. His vision, is already your reality.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
He knows that there is nothing for him to get jealous over. Where would you go? Who would you be able to turn to? If you ran, would you ever be able to run far enough? Or would he catch up to you before you knew it? He knows the answer to these questions. And they will never worry him, as much as you seem to worry about them. He knew he won. It´s once more proven to him, when he finds you kneeling by the door. Tears running down your face, spit slowly dabbling from your chin. Now and then a small jerk going through your body. Your eyes look vacant, as he walks past and opens the door for you. His victory only becomes more certain, when you turn away from the light, the breeze, with an anguished cry. What does he need to be jealous of?
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
His behaviour tends to closely mirror your own. He doesn´t seem to be aware of it most of time. At other points, it seems more than intentional. He repeats phrases, that you have said. His speech patterns begin to more closely resemble your own, the more time you spent with each other. Or do yours resemble his? It seems, that the two of you bleed more and more into the other, as time passed. Over time though, while you grew more and more subdued. He became louder. Where you grew into something, that cowers away. He became something, that would be impossible to miss. He mirrors you, but he plays into every extreme there is. Your melancholy becomes something loud and heart wrenching. Your happiness wraps into demented glee and shrieks of joy. Your gentle affection on his face turns into a punishing grip. Ren clings to you. He knows, that he is adapting to your personality, though where this might frighten you, it only brings him joy. He always knew, that you were the perfect fit for him. His perfect other half, and now he only got to prove it. He won´t let you go. Oh no. He never will. And why should he? With all the work he put in, to be your counterpart? He will cling to you till the end of time.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
You were bored, when he approached you. His soft voice nearly scared you half to death, when he started to talk to you. You hadn´t even heard him coming close. There was a sharp wit lacing his every word, as he waved your anxiousness away with a quiet humour twisting around his mouth. You and him talked nearly for the whole night. You were no longer bored. Drink after drink gets shared between the two of you, as dawn slowly comes around. You don´t even notice, when they start to taste funny. Maybe you simply drank too much? Your sudden tiredness is blamed on the late hour, and even when it feels like you can´t keep your eyes open any more and his smile is so full of sharp teeth. Maybe your fear was reasonable. Maybe you should have listened to that first instinctual response of absolute terror, when you noticed at first. These thoughts run slowly and languid through your mind, as he hoists you up over his shoulder, and simply walks out. No one stops him.
Mask: Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
There is a quiet confidence, you observe, that seems to find him in the strangest moments. His mood is quick to change. Laughter can turn into angry screams, faster than you can keep up with it most of the time. It´s no secret to you, that Ren is unstable. It´s also pretty obvious to you, that he is aware of that fact as well. Whenever he actually decides to take you outside, Good behaviour need to be rewarded dear, he has to concentrate. He can´t be too domineering over you, and so he falls back into patterns, that make him seem shy and unassuming. He knows, where those habits formed, and while he wouldn´t thank Strade for them, he still finds them useful for this. He knew what a charmer Strade was, just as he is now as well. A good trait to have, if one is like him. So he puts on the mask, that helps him to navigate the outside easily. Voice timid and shy. Never taking up more space, than he needs to. He basically vanishes into the background. It´s easy for him to watch every little move that you make. After all, you also tend to forget that he is here, whenever he gets like this.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
You don´t even know why he suddenly slams into you. Tearing you down to the ground with him. He is hovering above you, lips pulled back into a cruel snarl. Teeth gnashing and spit slowly dripping from the corners of his mouth. Right now he resembles more than ever, the violent and feral animal, that he always pretends not to be. There is the clinking of chains, as your breath only comes shortly. His teeth violently snap shut just inches from your face. When he speaks, a melodious hum, you can barely understand him, but the little you do frightens you. It freezes the blood in your veins, as you try to shake your head at him. Tears are already rolling down your face. He pats your face, then your head. His grip on the chain wrapped like a collar around your throat not loosening. He chuckles out But what a pretty star you would make. It would surely be my new favourite film. You can only cry harder, as you think of the man in cellar. You try to plead and beg with him, as he yanks you down the stairs. Your limbs kicking out in every direction, as you pull at the chain and try to stop him. The wooden steps bruise your back, and his laugh rings in your ears. When you swipe at him accidentally instead of the chain, his laughter stops. He doesn´t pay your terrified shrieking any mind, as he fished a little button from his pants pocket and presses down. You don´t really move, when he pulls at the leash again. Drool and spit slowly dribbling from your mouth, as fine tremors run through your body. You don´t even know what brought this on.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
You wake up with a groan. You definitely drank too much last night. Your head pounds, and every little movement you make makes you wince. When you finally open your eyes, you don´t recognize the room. Carefully lifting the blanket you realize that you are only half-dressed. You can´t even remember how you got here. It takes you stumbling around the room, ripping open the curtains and seeing your reflection in the barred up windows to realize that there is something on your neck. It´s bulky and heavy, and no matter how much you fiddle with it, you can´t get it off. When the door suddenly opens, you nearly scream. The boy, red hair and kind of small, seems vaguely familiar to you, lets out a surprised yelp. His smile seems kind, but when he notices you still fiddling with the collar, his expression grows dark. It´s a low Stop that! that gives you a momentarily pause, before you ignore it. The next thing you know is pain. The boy holding a remote, as he comes to a stop standing over you. He crouches down next to you, a small smile playing around his lips, as he watches you drool and shake. There is a worried crease between his eyebrow, that you can´t help but feel like it´s fake. He pats your head, with a smile, as he licks his too sharp teeth. O this is gonna be fun. I love you so much my dear!
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
You looked at his hand, as if he would bite it off, when you took it. Come here, he crooned, curling his fingers in slowly. His patience was slowly running thin. You couldn´t see it from your position, but he had started to fiddle with the remote of your shock collar. He was contemplating to just shock you into complying with his simple request, but something about the way you looked at him – shaking, scared – stopped him. His patience was rewarded when you finally reached out for him, curling your fingers around his as he helped you up from the floor. He nuzzled close into your neck, and patted your hair. Good job, darling! So good for me~, he couldn´t help a little moan slipping out with the words. He led the way to the basement door, and opened it. Walking down the steps first, he sighed as he heard how your footsteps had stopped. With just one glance over his shoulder, he knew that this time you wouldn´t come that easy. It wasn´t fear and hesitance – both very under stable to him – that stopped you this time, but stubbornness. Without even hesitating, he pressed the button on his remote. Keeping it pushed down, only giving you short breaks to let you catch your breath, he grapped you by your shirt to drag your convulsing body down the stairs with him. Dropping you down at the pole, he leaned in close If I want something, you do it!, with that he tapped you on the nose, before standing up again.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
You better hope and pray, that something else will kill you before he gets his hands on you. He stares down at the broken collar, then at his open front door. The laughter, that escapes him at this moment is strained. With a deep breath, he already knows where you went, and moves to follow you. The hunt is on. It was hard to get him to this point in your conversation, but maybe you actually got through to him. He looks at you with wet and wide eyes, before he suddenly sobs. Collapsing into your open arms, he burrows close to you. You try not to flinch, as his hands suddenly snake around your throat, but the click you hear, stuns you. We will meet each other again, right? Do this the right way again?, he asks as he gently puts the collar to the side. You can´t help yourself but to whisper a Of course! against his twitching ears. Blood covers his hands, his chest. He can feel how it already started to dry on his face, flaking off. This wasn´t supposed to happen. He didn´t intend to do this! Carefully, he pushed his hands beneath your body, to lift you up. He stumbles down the steps to the basement. It´s a bit of a fumble to get the lid open, but he finally manages it, as he lays you next to Strade. Huh. That looks almost cute. Flexing his claws, he tears open your chest cavity, and rips out your heart. As he bites into it, he gently closes your eyes, only to slide down to the floor and lean his back against the freezer. He starts to talk to you both. When he is finished, he will close the lid, and maybe watch a movie. Doesn´t he have something with you in it?
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
It´s with a spring in his step, that he carries you out of the bar. He waves off the concerns of the other patrons, whispering instead in approachable manner Drank a bit too much, you know how it can be. The rancorous laughter than follows tells him, he hit the right tone. He has to adjust you once or twice, hefting you higher up on his shoulder. The same lie becomes easier for him to tell over time. Such a good boy, one older lady comments, and he can´t help but giggle to himself. His hands only start to shake with adrenaline, after he deposited you on the bed, he had prepared for a guest. He fumbles with the collar, that he became very familiar with under Strade, before he gently clicks it around your neck. Carefully he adjusts, so that it won´t be uncomfortable for you to wear. It is with a smile, that he removes your shoes and jacket. He wonders if he should remove your jeans as well, before deciding that they must be terrible to sleep in. He hums lightly as he unbuttons them. His hands hovering over your body. Still asleep, the drugs he had put in your drink, still doing their job. He smiles, as he pulls the blanket over you. Shuts the curtain of the barred up window, and with a smile as he looks back at you, closes the door. It would have been nice, if you would have come to him, but this is perfect as well. He is giddy, as he runs down to the basement, to tell Strade about what happened today.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
He suppressed the instinctual snarl, the gnashing of his teeth, as another stranger bumped into him. Instead, he forced his lips into a kind smile. Holding tightly onto the mask, that let him seem like any other person in this bar. His skin was itching for blood and it had become such an overwhelming need to him, that he couldn´t tell any more if it was his instinct or his experience urging him to get blood to flow. He let his eyes sweep over the bar, when something suddenly drew all his attention. Your were just sitting there, looking at your drink as if it held all the answers to this world. Flinching away from every stranger, that would press themselves to close past you. A look of disgust openly on your face, when some would come to touch you in the process. It was almost cute to watch. Ren could feel his tail slowly swaying behind him, this could be a chance for him to pretend to be normal. After all, it looked like you wouldn´t even be able to tell the difference anyway. Something in him was still screaming for blood. It felt like a physical ache in his fangs and claws, and his ears twitched to take in every little sound you made, as he slowly stalked towards you. But there was something else as well. A ghost of someone – long dead, his heart gone – urging him forward with a gentle smile to reel you in. It wanted to see you cry. He shivered in delight as he imagined for a moment, what you would look like on your knees, face bloody and bruised, tears still streaking down your face, and mixing with your spit, as it dribbled down you chin and onto his old collar and your eyes wide as you looked only at him. He knew this would be fun, when he saw you flinch, when he greeted you.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
His ears perked further up, when he heard a faint sobbing coming from your room. For a moment he wondered, if he should lock the knife away, before shutting the stove off, and simply leaving it on the cutting board. Wiping his hands on a towel, he made his way to you. Gently knocking on the door frame, he announced his presence to you, as he had already made his way halfway into the room. He ignored your muffled Go away!, and sat down next to you on the bed. There, there he hushed you, as his claws gently carded through your hair. He busied himself with pulling some of the knots out, and pulling the matted parts gently apart, completely ignoring your wince or how you tried to pull away from him. When he deemed you decently groomed – as he would sometimes term it with a laugh on his face – he dropped down onto your bed next to you. Pulling you to lay on his chest, he hugged you close. He was still petting you, as he slowly dozed off. Dinner could wait for a bit longer.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
There is doubt in his heart, whenever he sees you cry. He is sure that you are his, in every shape and form that matters, but to see you cry breaks his heart every time. Maybe it would be better, when the two of you would part ways. Maybe it would be better of he could simply watch you from far away, instead if staying constantly by your side. Or maybe he should just make sure, that you stay forever with him. Heart by heart. No matter how bloody it would be. You recognize easily, that while Ren tends to be a bit overbearing, he never seems to touch you longer than he needs to. You caught him countless times staring at your mouth, only to laugh and blush when he realizes that you noticed it. His hands only ever seem to land on skin that is covered by clothing, or at least his touch never seems to demand more. It´s strange you think, idly watching how he is staring at you again slowly licking his lips, how he never acts on his desires. Almost as if he doubts himself.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
It´s when he gently kisses your forehead, as he tucks you in for the night, that you finally realize something. For all his bluster, for all the pain he causes you, he also always turns rather quickly back into a facsimile of kindness. He amps it up for you, when ever it seems that you´re playing into his delusions. You might loose yourself in them, but you have nothing else to loose any more. So you try it. And suddenly it seems that this vicious fox is at your every beg and call. You don´t ask about the basement or the screams and he never threatens to take you down there any more. You compliment his cooking and suddenly food seems something you never seem to lack. You never step into hall for the door outside, and he wants to take you on a thousand walks. You even stop fiddling with your collar and with time forget that it´s still active. He will give you everything that he can. You shall lack nothing, not even your freedom. He is of service to you. Especially now, that he can have this soft life with you, that he had always dreamt of.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
Sometimes Ren watches you with such a cold calculating look in his eyes, that you can´t help but shiver. You know, that in those moments he is debating with himself. His grin sharpening, while he flexes his claws. As if he can´t quite decide if he should rip your throat out with his fangs or his claws. As if it would matter in the end. Your blood would be on his hands either way. In the end, he will relax again. He knows, just as well as you do, that there will come another opportunity for him to let go of his pent up aggression. Another misstep of you, which allows him to have a go at you, without feeling all guilty about it afterwards. You overstepping the bounds, he always lays so carefully out for you. And if you fight back, he might even get a taste of that precious blood of yours.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
He loves, loves, loves you! From the moment, he first saw you, when you so trustingly, so full of blind faith, drunk the glass he gave to you, he knew it. He knew you would be perfect for him. He wants you to be there, by his side, for the rest of your lives, and he swears to himself, that he will do whatever it takes to make sure, that he can ensure, that your paths will not lead apart. He wants you to be there so badly, that he reassures himself, that the end will surely justify the means. Though, he will still very much react to the way you treat him. He will pull get you the moon if you so much as wish for it, but he also wants to make you aware, that all of this doesn´t come for free. He wants his love to be reciprocated by you, and he makes it abundantly clear to you as well. Otherwise, he won´t mind training you like a wild animal to simply love him. Hey, if it works, it works, right?
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
He had already talked with you for so long, and know he was nearly shaking with excitement. The bar was quiet, nearly deserted as was the usual for The Jackalope, and he knew nobody would watch him too closely here. He waited with bathed breath for you to finally arrive, as he had finally managed to weasel the promise of a real meeting from you. The bottle of Rohypnol in his back pocket, that he tucked away, when leaving already told him how this night would go. Tonight, he would make sure, that he wouldn´t be alone any more, that the ghost would hopefully stop hounding his every step, as another person would fill this empty house once more. He just has to be patient, just has to be careful. Buy a drink, crush one or two, and then bring it back, with an innocent smile. He could do this. His eyes snapped upwards, as an angel walked in, and a sly smirk, quickly a gentle smile curved his lips, as he stood up and waved towards you. He would do this.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
Ren will, if all else fails, scare you into compliance. He will hold out for as long as he can for a relationship for the two of you, like the ones in his stories. But if it all falls through, he will be satisfied with Stockholm syndrome setting in one day. And while he stills hope for that, showing kindness to you whenever he can without undermining himself, he shudders at the other options. Sometimes, not that he would ever tell you of it, he thinks about how he could break you apart. Though, he will think of what might follow in the end. He realizes rather quickly, that he would never want to see you break. He saw it too often. How only a shell it left, a hollow puppet that doesn´t respond any more. When he looks at you, he can never imagine being satisfied like that, and so he nourishes his hope, and makes kindness is weapon. He will get what he want, without breaking you. He just has to be a bit more patient.
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cumsuga · 2 months
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taehyung x fem!reader
genre. implied smut, fluff, angst, romance, non-idol!au, twin!taehyung, BIL!taehyung, widowedmother!reader
Your husband is dead, now you're trying to avoid the man that looks exactly like him. The only problem with that is trauma bonds people, sometimes in more ways than one 
warnings: spouse in the military, death of a spouse, mentions of decapitation, sleeping with your brother-in-law, grief, implied unprotected sex (Be safe and be smart; please use condoms), infidelity, smoking, light drinking, taehyung may or may not be in love with his sister-in-law aka reader, you're a mama (no drama)
word count: 5k
18+ (Minors DNI)
A/n: First and foremost, thank you, @vintagedtae and @cxffee-addxct, for testing/proofreading; if I could give you two kisses, I would! I really needed the feedback. I don't know if I will make this a series because it differs from anything I've ever written, but I really like it. If anyone has seen the movie Brothers, it inspired it. I really hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy Twin Taehyung! Thank you all for reading and interacting with it. Please like and reblog! 💜
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On January 30th, 2023, you received a knock on your door that would alter your life forever. 
You met your husband when you were ten years old. He was sweet and gentle, and you knew you would get married when you two got older. When you turned 18, he joined the military as a combat medic. He would always tell you he wanted to be a real-life superhero. At 22, he asked you to marry him. It was a beautiful beachside wedding. At 23, you gave birth to your son; you never saw yourself as a mother, and sure, Azra was a handful, but you were happy. By 25, you were a widow, watching as they lowered your husband into the ground, holding your crying son. 
The date was February 14th, the day he was supposed to come home, but you didn’t think it would be in a casket. You weren’t allowed to see your husband one last time. You were told they had gone out on a medevac mission when their helicopter was shot down. In nicer words, they told you your husband was decapitated, and they never found his head. And that was the image you would have to live with forever. The image of your decapitated husband never coming home. 
On the day of the funeral, his family showed you and your son so much compassion. His older twin brother, Taehyung, held your hand as he was lowered into the earth. Everyone expected you to be a mess, but no one knew that you and your husband prepared for this.  He talked about it often to desensitize you. While his dying in combat was always a possibility, you never thought in a million years that what you two spoke about in private would become a reality. So while internally you were destroyed, on the outside, you were stoic, unphased even.
After the repass, you watch quietly as everyone leaves. The only person who stayed was Taehyung. He told you he stayed to help you and that it was customary for someone from the family to stay with the widow while she grieves. Since he had no female siblings, his mother asked Taehyung to stay. 
“Hey, why don’t you go lay down?” he asks, taking a sleeping Azra from you. You just look at him, the dark circles under your eyes prominent. “Okay, I’m going to put him in the nursery, and I’ll be right back.”
It was silent when he walked away. Quiet enough for you to finally hear your thoughts. The inner turmoil is finally getting to you, and at this point, you are far too tired to hold it in anymore. So you let it out, sobbing loudly into the chaise. When Taehyung hears you, he bolts, the need to comfort you overwhelming him.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay,” he says softly, cradling you in his arms. You pound your fists into his chest, angry at the world for taking your person. Eventually, you lose the energy to continue, balling your fists into his shirt. After what seemed like forever, you passed out in Taehyung’s arms.
Taehyung sighs in relief. What did he know about comforting anyone, let alone his younger brother's widow? What was he supposed to do to help you? Nothing he could say would ever bring him back, and telling you everything would be okay would only comfort you for so long. And who would comfort him? He lost his best friend since birth. He wasn’t like you, though. He never kept it bottled up. When you called to let him know, he dropped to his knees, sobbing loudly into the receiver before hanging up. He cried every day leading up to the funeral and even at the funeral, but no one told him that they were sorry for his loss. They only focused on you and his mother, but what about him? What about how he felt? He lost his identical twin brother, someone he spent every day with for 18 years. He had always held a little resentment for you for stealing his best friend, but right now, he loathes you. You weren't the only one hurting. He didn’t even want to stay here with you while you grieve. He begged his mom not to make him but was met with a slap to the face.
Nonetheless, he picks you up gently and carries you to your room. He sets you down just as gently as if you would break if he weren’t careful. He grabs the blanket at the bottom of your bed and covers you with it, tucking you in. He stands over you, admiring you briefly. He hated you for many things, and one of them was for being so pretty. He pushes the thought away, too inappropriate considering what is going on, before turning to leave. 
“Sujin?” you call out to him. Your dreams came true. He came back to you, “Come back to bed, don’t leave me again.”
“I’m not Su-” he can't finish the sentence. You won’t let him. You desperately want it to be your husband. You know deep down it isn’t him, but lying to yourself will help with the giant hole you have in your chest right now. 
“Please, Sujin… I’m scared.” it comes out so weak and pathetic that it genuinely pains Taehyung to hear. His heart breaks for you, the hatred he had for you dissipating. But he still doesn’t turn to face you,  so you plead for him again.
“Close your eyes…” he says softly. Taehyung decides to do this for you just once. He knew that it would hurt you more if he just walked away. It would hurt him just as much to pretend to be his brother, but he just wanted you to sleep. “Tell me when they’re closed.”
You tell him, and he walks slowly to the bed. He cups your cheek and runs his thumb against it softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…” You lean into his touch, and he joins you on the bed. “Let’s go to sleep.”
Taehyung takes you in his arms once more on this terrible day. You bury your head into his chest, and he strokes your hair. He swears he felt you kiss his collarbone, but he chalks it up to you being delirious. He wants to hate you so bad, but to hate you would be to hate a piece of his brother. He wants to get up and leave you to wallow in your sadness, but he knows that isn’t what Sujin would want. Taehyung hasn’t felt so conflicted in his life, but what he is sure of is that seeing you call out for your husband hurt him more than he expected. And what he was absolutely sure of was that he would never let you cry like that again.
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When you woke up, you felt arms wrapped around you. So you turned slowly to see who it was, and the face you saw excited you, so you cupped his cheek softly. You moved to peck him gently and realized who it was before you did. You knew it wasn’t Sujin because of the small moles under his eye and on his nose. So you jolt up, startling Taehyung in the process.
“What hell are you doing in my bed?!” you move away from him quickly. Taehyung is rubbing his eyes, looking around at where he is.
“Where am I?” he seems confused about where he is and who you are.
“Taehyung, why are you in my bed, let alone in my room.” You stand up and make a lot of distance between the two of you. You turn to face the door. The last person you want to look at is Taehyung. Right now, you hate the fact that he looks exactly like Taejoon. It makes you physically ill to look at Taehyung. But before you can dwell on that for too long, Azra is crying. You look towards the nursery sighing. "Anyways, get out of my room and go home.”
He nods and gets out of bed, “I’ll get the baby. Just rest, please.” He’s noticed you refuse to look at him, and he can’t be sure why, but it hurts him a little.
“No! No, I want you to leave, Taehyung. Please.” he moved back into your line of sight, so you turn away and walk to the nursery. Taehyung follows behind you.
“I can leave you alone, but I’m not going. I told my mom I’d stay for the next couple of weeks.” He takes Azra from you, and you move to take him back but are immediately deterred by his face. “You know you’re going to have to look at me eventually. I’m his uncle, I’ll be around…”
You sigh in defeat but still don't look up, “I don’t think you’ll ever understand how hard it is to look at you, Taehyung. It hurts... And I don’t want to cry anymore.”
He scoffs, “You’re not serious, right? I don’t understand? I have to do is look in the fucking mirror and be reminded of my brother. Someone I shared a womb and room with almost my entire life. You’re not the only person hurting.” he leaves with Azra to the kitchen, and you're just standing there. You want to yell at him, but you don’t want to upset the baby.
You knew part of you wished that Taehyung was Sujin and that life was normal. You thought it was unfair that you had to go through this. But he’s right; he isn't the only one hurting. You’d been so selfish with your grief that you weren’t allowing anyone to join you in it. And he was also right that you’d have to look at him eventually, but you'd deal with that when the time was right. Right now, all you want is your son.
“Can I have Azra, please?” Azra coos out a little mama when he sees you, and Taehyung looks over at you and then back to Azra as he feeds him his banana baby food. 
“Um, we're having nom-noms right now. Right, Azzy? We’re having nom noms?” Azra giggles, repeating the word, and you wish you could be in his shoes. Living his baby life with no concept of death. You stared at him and realized one day, you’d have to tell him about his father, and tears welled up in your eyes.
“Taehyung, I don’t need your help. I need you to leave, please. You can come over later, but I want to be alone now.” You take Azra out of his high chair and walk towards the den. “We can discuss why you were in my bed after I take Azra to daycare, then you can come with me to pick up some of Sujin’s things from the base. Come back in 2 hours, I’ll be ready then…”
Taehyung reluctantly agrees. He’s scared to leave you, in all honesty. Sujin had mentioned to him about your past struggles with your mental health, but he didn't want to come off as he couldn’t trust you. He wanted you to know he understood what you were going through and was there for you and Azra. 
You watch through the curtains as Taehyung pulls out of the driveway and drives off into the distance. You turn back to the living room and look around. You feel… empty. You knew that grief never grows smaller with time and that life grows around grief. It was such a cliche analogy, and it helped you when your grandmother died, but this was different. You and Sujin talked about getting old and grey together. About watching Azra graduate high school and college, get married, and have children. Now, it was just you, no Sujin, to help with the woes of parenting. You, at 25, are a widowed mom of one. You’re going to miss hearing the sound of him breathing when you lay your head on his chest. You’re going to miss the way he kissed you, held you, and made love to you. You would miss the way he would quote Napoleon Dynamite at the most random times. You were going to miss him. Plain and simple. You wish you had time to grieve but couldn’t because you had responsibilities. So you pushed yourself to keep going because of Azra.
About 2 hours later, you pull into your driveway, returning home from taking the baby to daycare. Taehyung is already there, waiting outside, smoking a cigarette. The feeling of annoyance was brewing inside you. But then you push the feeling away because how could you be annoyed with someone just trying to do the same thing you are; grieve. So you get out of the car and join him on the stoop. “Why are you waiting outside? You know where the house key is. It’s the middle of fall; it's cold.”
“I didn’t want to be reminded of him right away.” he takes a drag, handing you a coffee he picked up on the way back to the house, which you happily accept. “Your house smells like him still. It’s weird.”
You nod; he’s not wrong. It does smell like him, but you like that. You didn’t want to forget that smell. “Yeah, I know. It is kinda weird, isn’t it.” you chuckle softly. He smiles at you, and you meet his eyes finally. You feel something weird, something that makes you blush. He looks away quickly, taking another drag of his cigarette as he stands before flicking it. “Let’s go get my brother’s shit.”
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An hour later, you finally leave base with the bit of stuff your husband left behind and some paperwork explaining how your benefits will now work. You don’t even care about that stuff, especially because this wasn’t how life was supposed to be going for you. You get back in the car and give Taehyung the box. “I have to go meet with a lawyer about his will. I need a witness so they can open it. Would you like to come?” He nods, and you drive off.
“So why were you in my bed?” you ask, looking over to see his cheeks are now rosy.
“Well, after you passed out from crying, I went to put you in bed and..” he looks worried; he doesn’t want to embarrass you. 
“And???” you press. 
“And…” He sighs, “And when I went to leave… You confused me with Su, and I didn’t have the heart to stop you, so I held you until you fell asleep. However, anytime I moved, you’d grip me tighter, so I fell asleep with you…” He rubs the back of his head, and you know he’s just as embarrassed as you are. “I know it was inappropriate, but you wouldn’t let me leave..”
“Oh..” the silence that follows is extremely awkward. “Well, thank you for staying, I guess..”
“Yeah, don’t mention it. Literally.” He chuckles. 
The drive to the law office is quiet and gives you time to think about what his will could say. It’s strange, though, because he never told you about it. You just assumed when he died that everything would go to you and Azra by default, but knowing he had a will scared you. Because what could he possibly have to say?
“We’re here..” you don’t move, not even to unbuckle yourself. Your hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles are turning white. Your heart feels like it’s going to explode. Taehyung takes your hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.
“Calm down, nothing can get worse. I know my brother. He’d never do anything to hurt you.” You wished it soothed you to hear those words, but his brother had done something to hurt you. Of course, it wasn't intentional, but it hurt nonetheless.
“Taehyung, your brother has done a lot to hurt me. None of them like this, though. This one he can’t fix with flowers and chocolates.” you say, half giggling, the other half getting choked up.
“Listen, I know this seems like the end of the world, and trust me, it sure as fuck feels like it. But let’s be realistic. You’ll eventually grow to deal with the loss of my brother. You’ll move on with your life, find some awesome guy, and fall in love with him. You’ll probably even get remarried. Realistically, of course.” you just look at him. The way he could say the most asinine shit you’ve ever heard honestly pissed you off.
“Why the fuck would you say that to me right now? I just buried him yesterday. Are you dumb? Please just shut the fuck up until I tell you to talk.” You finally move to get out of the car, slamming the door behind you and mumbling about how much of an idiot he was.
But that was the thing; Taehyung wasn’t stupid. He just says ridiculous shit. In fact, Taehyung graduated cum laude from Stanford, which is why you can’t understand why he doesn't think before he talks. 
He sits in the car briefly before coming out and following closely behind you. You two walk into the law office. The receptionist says she’s expecting you and leads you to a small conference room. “I’m nervous…” you sigh, fidgeting.
Before long, a tall, tan-skinned man walked in. He explained the legal jargon and then allowed you and Taehyung time to read over the will. But that's the thing: It wasn’t a will; it was more like letters to people in his life. You found the page for Taehyung and handed it to him. It wasn’t long before you heard sniffling coming from him. You smiled at him. You thought it was sweet how vulnerable he could be.
One page was dedicated to you, telling you all the passwords to his socials and bank accounts, where he had hidden money for Azra, and that he was sorry, but that was all. Nothing else was there. No, I love you, no, I’ll see you again someday, nothing. It was like all you were to him was a vessel to carry and care for his child. To say you were hurt was a complete understatement. But before you could take in the reality of what was happening, you found a page for a woman named Natalie. It describes how much he cared for her but also how much he regretted cheating on you while you were pregnant. He went on to tell her about the life he had imagined with her during their affair, but when you gave birth, it gave him a new meaning in your marriage and that he was sorry they ever got involved. He left her a small amount of money; it wasn’t said for what, only that she would understand what it was for. You only knew of one Natalie; you all went to high school together, but the last you heard, she moved to Los Angeles and hadn’t been back since. There was no way. This had to be Sujin’s idea of a joke. There was no other explanation.
You wanted to know when he even had time to cheat? If he wasn’t at work, he was with you. You try to think of any time he was not with you, but then you remember that he started going to the gym more often during your pregnancy. You thought nothing of it. He was in the military, for god sake. And you held on to that notion until you spotted her walking into the office.
“Hey, what does yours say? Mine tells me to take care of you and Az, and he finally admitted he broke my Donatello figure when we were younger. Plus some other stuff, but that's private.” He chuckles. He must’ve noticed your eyes glazed over because he waved his hand in front of your face. “Helloooo, anyone home?”
“He cheated..” is all you could squeak out. It’s almost inaudible.
 Taehyung doesn’t want to believe that you just said, “What? How do you know that? Let me see.” he snatches the papers from your hands and reads them repeatedly. “No way, Joon would never do that.”
“He did, and she’s here. The blonde woman you see in the lobby. Thats her… I don’t think she knows I’m here, nor was I even supposed to read that. I don’t think he meant to put it in there.” You both sit there in silence; before you know it, you’re storming into the lobby.
She looked shocked to see you, like she didn't understand what you were doing there. “y/n, what’re you doing here?”
“What the fuck do you mean what am I doing here? What are you doing here?” You scoff. You can’t believe this lady. She has the nerve to question you like you’re the mistress. So, you do the most logical thing you could do in any law office. You slap the shit out of her. “So you like fucking married men while their wives are at home caring for their children? Huh? Huh? ANSWER ME!”
She looks terrified and confused, clutching her now red cheek. “Married. He told me you two were divorced and that he only wore his ring to keep appearances with his parents.”
“Oh please, you can’t be that fucking stupid. YOU WENT TO FUCKING BERKLEY! You knew; don’t play dumb with me!” You are furious and yelling so loud a crowd is starting to gather. Taehyung comes up behind you, trying to calm you so he can get you outside, but you’re struggling in his grip. “HEY EVERYONE, HIDE YOUR HUSBANDS NATALIE STARK LIKES TO FUCK MARRIED MEN. NO, LET ME GO TAEHYUNG!”
“Nope, it’s time to go,” he says, flinging you over his shoulder.
Taehyung finally got you into the parking lot, but you still weren’t calm. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he lit a cigarette and handed it to you. “Here, it helps with the stress.”
You take it. You hadn’t smoked a cigarette in almost two years, choosing to quit right before you found out you were pregnant. “Thank you,” you say before taking a long drag. The nicotine rushes straight to your head, mellowing you out. “I swear to god, your bother is so fucking lucky he fucking died before I found this out because I would’ve killed him my-damn-self.”
You sigh. Your world is crumbling around you. How could you not have known? And what did you do to deserve this? You never spoke down to him, hell you doted on the mother fucker, and still he cheated. He lied to you every day with a smile on his face like everything was fine. Why couldn’t he be a man and tell you he was unhappy? Why did he have to die for you to find out? You wanted answers, and the shittiest thing, about it, was that you’d never get them.
Taehyung is still quiet. You wish he would just go away because looking at him makes you angrier than before. “Can you turn around or something? Your face is pissing me off.”
“Listen, I understand you’re upset but don’t take that shit out on me. I’m not Sujin, I didn’t do shit to you. Get in the fucking car, I want to go home.” He snatches the keys from you and walks to the other side of the car.
You finish your cigarette and get in. By the time you two make it back to town, you have to go pick up Azra. So you drop Taehyung off at your house and get him. When you left, you told Tae you wanted him to be gone when you returned, but he didn’t listen.
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You were too tired to argue with Taehyung, so you put Azra down for a nap and then walked to the kitchen. “You want a glass of wine? I have a feeling the rest of the week is going to suck as bad as today,” you call out to Taehyung from the kitchen.
“Yeah, sure. Can I smoke in here?” he’s walking around the den, looking at all the pictures. He stops on a photo of you two at your baby shower. He smiles fondly. If Taehyung was honest, he wished he was around more. He hadn’t seen you or his brother since Azra was born. And he regretted that. 
Taehyung had a secret he told no one but hated you for. At your wedding, you told the story about how you met your husband, but the boy you met that day was Taehyung. He fell in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you. He confessed to you a week later and told you to think about it. When he went to find you the following day, he saw you kissing his brother; the rest is history. 
“Uh, no, but we can go into the sunroom. It’s heated, and I have the baby monitor.” You leave the kitchen and go into the den, “Is that okay with you?”
Taehyung looks over at you. He wished that it was him that you had fallen in love with. He would never hurt you in the way that Taejoon had. He felt selfish for his thoughts about you. They were wrong. Especially considering the current circumstances. But if he was being honest, you’d never look more beautiful to him than you did right now. Your hair was messy, with no make-up on, in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. “Yeah, that's fine.”
You grab the bottle and some glasses and walk towards the sunroom, placing them on the coffee table and going to the sound system. You didn’t want to listen to the silence. You put on something soft and airy to help soothe your nerves. Your week had gone from bad to fucked up in a matter of 24 hours. Whoever you were in your previous life must have been one fucked up person because your current life is kicking your ass.
“Hey, you guys got it remodeled. I like it.” he looks around, admiring the work.
“Uh, no, I remodeled it. Your brother did jack shit but complain about how it was keeping him awake.” You roll your eyes and throw yourself into one of the many chairs, sighing.
Taehyung takes a seat next to you.“I’m sorry this is happening to you. I know I was giving you a hard time earlier today, but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone. I’m here for you completely.” He grabs your hand. You look down at your hands and then back at him.
“It’s just tough to be around you, Taehyung. Even more so now than before. I wish you would get that, but you’re so goddamn stubborn. And you’re really touchy, it’s weird.” You remove your hand from his and pour two glasses.
He chuckles. “I’m sorry. It’s just how I show people I care. But if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop.” He grabs a glass and takes a sip. He stands to open a window and then lights a cigarette. “Do you have an ashtray?”
You set one down on the coffee table. Taehyung turns to look back at where you set it, and for a split second, life feels normal. Like Sujin didn’t die, you didn’t find out he was cheating, and you felt happy. The silence that follows you is so comfortable. He smiles at you before looking back out the window. Then Fade into You by Mazy Star comes on, and Taehyung walks over to you.
“Dance with me.” He extends a hand to you.
You scrunch your face with a smile, “I’m tired.” you try to push his hand away, but he pulls you up by your hand. You give into the dance eventually, resting your head on his chest.
“I know I’ve said it a lot today, but I’m sorry about everything my brother has put you through… I would’ve never done that to you. You’re way too precious to me.” you pull away to look at him. And he stares down at you. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. And before you knew it, your lips were crashing together. 
You both knew it was wrong, but it was like magnets. You two couldn’t pull away. Your hands move to the hem of Taehyung's shirt, sliding up against the smooth skin of his torso. He wasn’t lean, and you liked that a lot, so you scraped your nails against his stomach. “Take this off.”
He takes his shirt off and moves to take yours off. When he finally gets it off, he starts kissing down your chest, “I’ve wanted to do this since I was 15..” You swear you hallucinate him saying that. You unbutton his jeans and slide your hand into his boxers. He moans softly into your neck, and that was enough for him to snap. He tugs your sweatpants down, having you step out of the. He kisses your inner thigh before pulling your panties down, not even allowing you a second before he picks you up and pins you against the window.
Now, to say that Taehyung wasn't gentle was an understatement. He fucked you like he hated you like he wanted you to know how much you ruined his life, but also how much he was willing to give up to be with you. And as much as you knew it was wrong, you loved it. Neither of you talked the whole time. You both enjoy not being sad for once. When everything was all said and done, Taehyung set you down gently and walked away, sitting on the floor. He knew the severity of what had just happened and needed time to process it. But there was no going back from what just happened. You both had effectively ruined each other's lives.
You joined Taehyung on the floor, sitting behind him and leaning your head on his back. You planted a small kiss on his shoulder. You knew everything would be okay when he reached back for your hand to hold. “I’m gonna take care of you from now on,” he says as he kisses the inner of your wrist.
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laurenairay · 3 months
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Lately you've been on my mind - E. Pettersson
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I’m jumping in as a pinch-hitter as part of @wyattjohnston’s winter fic exchange, with an Elias Pettersson story for @typical-simplelove! I really hope you enjoy this Claudia– I had a lot of fun creating something from the prompts you gave me, and I was just so inspired that I wrote it all in one day! And thank you Demi, for being a sounding board for me as I put together my ideas.
Summary: Brock Boeser is the ultimate match maker – he knows he is. And he is determined to set his friends up.
a.k.a. you and Elias are both friends with Brock, and keep finding yourselves in moments alone.
Words: 4.9k
Warnings: idiots to lovers, self-doubt, Brock is a meddler
Title from: Adore you, by Harry Styles
~
2019 was already shaping up to be a fantastic year. The sun was shining brightly, the January air was crisp and cold, and you had Spanish Banks dog park essentially to yourself, seeing that it was excruciatingly early in the morning.
But damn if the views of the North Shore mountains weren’t worth it. Your dog seemed to agree, with the way he was running up and down the sand. You’d lived in Vancouver all your 20 years so far, still living with your parents where you’d decided not to go to university, and it was moments like this that reminded you just how fortunate you were.
Your peace and quiet lasted for all of another half an hour before you heard enthusiastic barking from behind you. Recalling your dog to your side – which only took a couple of attempts, which was an improvement – you turned your head to see what was coming your way, only to freeze at the guy you saw walking towards you.
A guy that was clearly the up-and-coming star of your family’s favourite sports team, the Vancouver Canucks. Brock Boeser, in the flesh.
“Hey, sorry for interrupting your quiet.”
His smile tightened slightly when he realised you clearly knew who he was, with whatever your face was doing, but you quickly shook your head to reassure him. No, he was here just the same as you, to walk his dog. You could be cool with that.
“It’s a beautiful off-leash park – it would be a shame not to share it,” you shrugged, smiling back at him.
Brock immediately relaxed, easy a tension you didn’t realise you had.
“Who’s this beautiful pup, hm?”
“This is Bailey. I’ve had him, like, three months now? He’s only 18 months old so he’s still learning not to jump up, but he tries his best,” you mused.
“He’s perfect…”
Yes, Brock was definitely a dog person.
“…a border collie, right?”
“Yeah that’s right. He was abandoned a few months ago at a shelter my mom volunteers at, and I barely had to beg her to let me adopt him,” you laughed.
Brock just grinned. “Coola was a rescue dog as well. I adopted him back in February last year, after the All Star Game, but he lived in Minnesota with my parents while I finished my rookie year. I know the feeling of not being able to resist a sweet little dog.”
At least he understood.
With a smile, you motioned for Bailey that he was allowed to run again, and within moments Coola was joining him, the two dogs playing in the surf.
“So, you live here then?”
You and Brock walked your dogs for nearly another hour, the two of you talking like you’d known each other all your lives, before Bailey flopped at your feet, a clear sign he was done and ready to leave.
“Looks like that’s my cue,” you said dryly, making Brock laugh.
“Definitely,” he teased, “but hey, maybe we could exchange numbers? I’d love to walk Coola with you and Bailey again, now that I know they’re friends.”
You hesitated slightly, unsure whether he actually meant that, but the earnestness in his eyes told you everything you needed to know.
“Sure, I’d like that. Bailey could use all the friends he could get,” you mused.
Brock just grinned.
“I don’t know, I have a feeling we’re going to be pretty good friends as well.”
~
Nearly five years on and you were (somehow) genuine friends with Brock. He’d been right, against all odds. There was just something about his straightforward friendship that made your life that little bit easier, knowing that you could rely on him to be a breath of fresh air, no drama. And you knew he appreciated your chilled approach to pretty much everything, never judging him, always his biggest supporter – both on the team and for him as a person. Brock Boeser was probably one of the best friends you’d ever had, and you cherished everything about him, like an older brother you didn’t realise you needed.
Brock had always insisted that you needed to be integrated into every part of his life, so you spent more time with his team than you ever thought you would (and hadn’t that been a starstruck moment, when you’d first attended a team gathering). He pretty much brought you to all gatherings, events, and anything to do with Coola (and now Milo), and while at first it had been overwhelming, you’d quickly adjusted when you realised just how ridiculous his teammates were.
So it wasn’t a surprise to Elias Pettersson when he walked into Brock’s house and saw you sitting on the sofa surrounded by dogs.
“Well this looks cosy.”
You grinned at his teasing words, waving him over. “It’s good to see you too, Elias.”
He shared a small private smile with you, lifting Milo’s legs to take a seat on the sofa next to you. The dog in question huffed out his displeasure but didn’t move, allowing Elias to settle in properly.
This guy, more than anyone else, was the teammate you enjoyed spending the most time with alongside Brock. Elias was definitely the most sane of all Brock’s Vancouver friends, and his dry sense of humour always had you in stitches. It was rare that he showed much of himself to anyone, as reserved as he was, but the more you’d gotten to know him over the years, the more you recognised the little signs of his reactions and collated them like hoarded treasure. And the more that Elias had gotten to know you, the more willing he seemed to be to share jokes and smiles and laughter with you, forging a friendship of your own.
And yes, sure, you couldn’t deny that you found him attractive – you’d be crazy or blind to think otherwise - but he’d never shown a hint of interest towards you in that way. And there was no way you’d ever say anything unless you were sure things were reciprocated (there was just no way), so you were more than happy to have him as a friend. Elias Pettersson was an unmistakeable joy in your life, and the last thing you wanted to do was ruin that.
He really was so handsome though.
“I’m surprised Brock isn’t buried under puppies like usual,” Elias said.
“We haven’t been long back from walking the dogs, so I said I’d get them settled while he showered and got ready to head out with you,” you explained, running your hand over your Bailey’s head.
“He does need to look pretty enough to leave the house, that’s true,” he mused.
You couldn’t help but laugh, the both of you knowing Brock needed no help in looking pretty, Elias just smiling widely.
It just goes to show how wrapped up you were in Elias’s attention that neither of you noticed Brock standing at the bottom of the stairs, eyes lighting up at your laughter and Elias’s smile.
~
It was early, far too early, but here you were fulfilling Bailey’s every need. You were wrapped up warm, puffer jacket, woollen hat, gloves, and scarf, walking your border collie through Hadden Park, allowing the travel mug of coffee to wake you up fully while you took in the views surrounding you. Bailey was in his element, trotting about and sniffing every single leaf and twig, and it was only your phone buzzing that broke you out of your silent contentment.
From: Brock Hey, are you walking Bailey?
To: Brock Yeah we’re at Hadden Park Wasn’t sure if you would be getting up early after your game last night so I didn’t text
From: Brock Hah yeah fair enough Do you mind if Petey comes along?
You tried not to fantasise about why Elias was so willing to join you both on a dog walk, so early on a day off. You tried so hard.
To: Brock Of course I don’t mind
From: Brock Of course?
You felt heat dancing across your cheeks. Damn it Brock.
To: Brock You know I think Petey is great.
From: Brock Well I definitely do now.
You groaned, already able to picture the smirk on your friend’s face.
To: Brock Don’t be dumb I’ll see you soon
The last thing you needed was Brock teasing you, especially in front of Elias. The last thing you wanted was Elias to feel uncomfortable around you, just because you find him attractive. The last thing you could bear would be if you lost your friendship with Elias just because Brock was reading into things that weren’t true.
But there was nothing you could do for damage control until Brock was in front of you. All you could hope was that he didn’t make you look like an idiot.
It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes before you saw the familiar pair walking towards you, dogs at Brock’s side, and you found yourself smiling despite your trepidation. You gave them both hugs in greeting, travel mug long empty and placed in your bag, Bailey barking happily.
“What a beautiful morning,” Brock said happily.
“Cold but beautiful, sure,” you mused.
Elias nodded his agreement, thick scarf wrapped in loops around him, Brock just laughing.
“Petey, you don’t mind taking Coola while I walk Milo, do you?” Brock asked.
Elias narrowed his eyes, as if trying to read into Brock’s words, but Brock just kept smiling at him.
“Sure, I can walk Coola,” Elias eventually said.
“Great!”
The moment that Coola’s leash was in Elias’s hands, Coola darted forward, Elias crashing directly into your body. It was only through his quick reflexes that you didn’t end up on your ass, his hands clutching at your hips while you clung to his jacket.
“Coola! Chill!”
Brock’s giggled words did little to calm his dog down, all three dogs dancing around your feet as Elias steadied you. His face was impossibly close to yours, breath practically mingling. How had you not realised how blue his eyes were before this? His lips were parted slightly, as if he was still processing, but it was only when Bailey bumped into both of your legs that he abruptly let you go, and you dropped your hands too.
“Sorry, sorry,” he blurted, stepping away sharply.
“No apologies needed. It wasn’t your fault,” you said, shaking your head with a weak smile.
“Aww you can’t blame Coola for being excited,” Brock grinned, kneeling down to give fuss to both his dogs.
There was something in his smile that you just couldn’t put your finger on. Hm.
“Shall we walk then, if they’re so excited?” Elias said dryly.
All three dogs started barking at the word ‘walk’, making you laugh and nod, Brock just grinning even wider.
~
From: Brock Petey is taking the roadtrip losses really hard. Come over tomorrow?
~
You don’t know what it was that possessed you, but the moment you received those texts from Brock, you knew you had to do something. Elias was such a stoic guy, so reserved in his emotions, so the fact that it was obvious enough he was suffering that Brock asked for your help? There was no way you weren’t going to do everything in your power to ease any tensions they had, especially Elias.
There wasn’t much you could do, but you could do this.
When you arrived at Brock’s house the next morning, you were only mildly startled to see Elias opening the door instead of Brock, his eyes flashing in surprise before he smiled.
“Did Brock not say I was coming over?” you said hesitantly.
The last thing you wanted was to intrude.
“He said we were going for brunch, but this is a welcome surprise,” Elias said, smiling softly.
Oh. Now you felt stupid.
Wait, a welcome surprise?
“I don’t know what is making your face do that, but I’m not lying when I say it’s good to see you,” Elias said firmly.
“Alright, I believe you,” you mused.
Elias just grinned, walking over to the bottom of the staircase.
“SHE’S HERE!”
“GOOD! YOU’RE COMING FOR BRUNCH, RIGHT?”
You rolled your eyes fondly at Brock’s assumptions. It wasn’t like you had much else planned for today, but still!
“YEAH I’LL COME!”
Elias laughed at your matching volume, making you smile back at him, a light flush dusting across your cheeks. His laugh was magical and you weren’t going to shame yourself for liking it.
“Brock’s just finishing his hair and then he’ll be down. That’s what he said anyway,” Elias explained, sitting down on the arm of Brock’s sofa.
“He’s got an image to maintain, can’t be looking anything less than perfect,” you teased, the familiar joke making you smile.
Elias just snickered, shaking his head. You leaned up against the back of the sofa, standing close enough to Elias that the blue of his eyes was almost hypnotising, before you remembered why you came over in the first place.
“It feels a little silly now, but I heard from a little bird that you were taking things a little rough, so here’s a little something,” you said.
“Brock needs to keep his mouth shut,” he grumbled.
You just laughed, reaching into your bag to pull out the gift. But as you placed it in his hands, Elias froze.
“What’s this?” Elias said, eyes wide in shock.
You bit your bottom lip, before letting out a shaky breath. Here goes nothing.
“You were having a bad day. So I made you a hat,” you said simply, trying to keep your voice light and airy.
“You made me a hat? You knitted this?”
Elias stared down in wonder at the soft light blue woollen bundle in his hand, a look of pure astonishment on his face. It was only then that you realised how close it was to the colour of his eyes.
“Uh, yes, I did? I got back into knitting recently, so it’s nothing fancy, but I just wanted to make something to cheer you up?” you said, trying not to cringe at yourself.
“No-one’s ever done anything like this for me before.”
Your lips parted in surprise at his soft words.
“Really?”
“Really really,” Elias nodded.
“I’ve never had a hat made for me either.”
You flinched at the sound of Brock’s voice coming from behind you, Elias immediately scowling over your shoulder.
“Wouldn’t want to cover up your Prince Charming hair,” Elias grumbled, shoving the hat into the pocket of his hoodie.
You didn’t mention the dark blue hat you’d knitted for Brock that was tucked into your bag. Brock pouted as you snickered, slinking into the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone again.
“Look, I know it’s not really my place. And that we’re just friends because of Brock. But these losses were just a bad blip – you’re going to get over them in no time at all, and be back to destroying the other teams like you were born to,”
Elias smiled wryly. “It doesn’t feel like that right now. But thanks.”
You pursed your lips briefly before huffing out a breath. Telling him what you really thought was hardly the most embarrassing thing you’d ever done.
“You make me so proud. You know that, right?”
“What?” Elias frowned.
“You go out there, every single day, and give this team, this city, your all. Your pour yourself into everything that you do, always give 100%, and as your friend, as someone who has known you for years…I am so proud of you.”
As your cheeks heated from your words, Elias swallowed heavily, a flush dusting across his own cheeks.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve this, to deserve your kind words, but I appreciate it. Thank you,” he murmured.
Your heartbeat raced at the intensity in his eyes.
“Brunch? Can we go?”
Elias scowled again at Brock’s grinning interruption but walked away towards the front door. You were read to grumble at Brock yourself, until you saw Elias pull the knitted hat out of his pocket and slide it on over his hair. It looked…perfect.
“Are you good?” Brock asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, I’m great.”
Your voice was far breathier than you would ever admit.
*
Another month, another team event. This time Brock had invited you to be his plus one to a formal gala, hardly the first time he had asked and yet this time he practically begged you to come along. You didn’t need him to beg, you could admit that much – the events were always fun and hey, you got to dress up nicely – but his behaviour was strange, even for him.
Either way, Brock had looked ecstatic when you said yes, even going as buying you a gorgeous midnight blue evening gown, sleeveless and high-necked, as classy as it was beautiful, so you were going to complain. He could have his secrets – you knew you’d get it out of him eventually.
He picked you up after you’d gotten your hair and nails done, make-up subtle but elegant, wide smile on his face as he drove the two of you to the event. You didn’t have time to be suspicious about his good mood as the two of you greeted his teammates and their better halves, your attention consumed by all the cheek kisses and compliments, but you should’ve known he was up to something. Because the moment that the two of you joined Elias at a table with a few chairs around it, Brock all but disappeared, leaving the two of you completely alone.
“Hi Brock. Bye Brock,” Elias said dryly.
“I have no idea what’s gotten into him tonight, I am so sorry,” you sighed.
“Hey, no, don’t apologise for him. I’m sorry that he’s abandoned you already,” Elias said, frowning.
“Well at least I’m near a chair,” you said, huffing out a laugh, “High heels are not my friends.”
Elias immediately pulled a chair out for you to sit on, and you felt a gentle heat brush across your cheeks at the gentlemanly action.
“Thanks Elias,” you said, more shocked than anything.
Not too shocked to smile at him as he sat down right next to you, after picking up a couple of flutes of champagne from a passing waiter. If he wanted to join you…well, you weren’t going to complain. Not if you got his attention all to yourself.
It can’t have been more than an hour before Brock wandered back over, but by the flush on his cheeks and the glassiness of his eyes, he was more than a little tipsy. Damn it Brock.
“You’re not going to ask this beautiful woman to dance, Petey?”
Elias immediately blushed furiously, eyes narrowing at his friend, making you want to die a little inside – but also to shield him.
“Oh no, these heels are killing my feet already. Elias is just being kind enough to keep me company,” you said sweetly.
Brock snickered, shaking his head, but walked away without any further pestering. You both sat there for a moment in silence, reeling from the short conversation. What the hell was that, Brock?
“You didn’t have to make up a lie to defend me,” Elias said, finally looking at you again.
“I wanted to.”
The mortification that filled your body upon your blurted words was immediate and all-consuming, especially with how surprised Elias looked. How could you save this? How the hell could you save this?
“Besides it’s the least I could do for Brock dumping me on you in the first place,” you said coolly, shrugging, trying to calm yourself down and failing miserably.
Elias hesitated before something flashed across his face, and he looked at you with an expression you’d never seen from him before. It made you shiver. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Oh.
Oh.
He…really?
You’d spent so long convinced that he didn’t see you that way, that he wasn’t attracted to you in the slightest, and now that he’d said this? Giving you enough to let yourself hope, to admit to yourself that your sweetest daydreams and deepest fantasies could actually be reality?
While your mind raced, full of swirling realisations that perhaps things weren’t so unrequited after all, Elias just watched you, expression just as intense as before. It wasn’t until you let out a shaky breath, smiling a tiny smile at him, that he nodded, clearing his throat.
“Another drink?”
“Yes, definitely.”
*
Movie nights were sacred. It didn’t matter who they were with, not really, but now that you had your own tiny apartment, a night in watching your favourite movies and eating your favourite snacks was always the best way to unwind. Usually Brock was your only companion, or Brock with a few of his teammates, and that was the plan tonight. Brock and Elias were both joining you for a movie night and you couldn’t wait to have a chilled night in with two of your favourite people. Even if your whole world had been shaken up only last week at that eventful team gala.
The pizzas you’d ordered hadn’t long arrived before Elias arrived at your door, beers in hand, and you let him in with a happy smile.
“Thanks for inviting me,” he said, smiling shyly back at you.
Your breath caught in your throat at the sweetness in his face, and you found yourself just nodding.
“You know you’re always welcome. Come on, pizza just got here too.”
Elias all but raced you to the kitchen, making you laugh as he opened the cardboard lids. But your phone buzzed before you could reach for a slice.
From: Brock I can’t make it tonight. Have fun. Both of you.
You heart started racing at his implications, knowing deep in your bones that Brock never intended to come this evening. Had he known all along, how you felt about Elias? And how you hoped Elias felt for you too?
Surely not.
But then again, Brock always surprised you. You had always tried not to underestimate your friend, but it appeared that you’d fallen for that sweet innocent smile just the same as everyone else.
“Is Brock on his way?”
“Brock isn’t coming.”
“Oh.”
Elias seemed to hesitate, making you inhale sharply.
“Did you want to reschedule?” he asked, wincing.
You could be brave, right? Or at least take a step towards bravery?
“You’re already here…so we can still have our own movie night?” you suggested, unable to stop yourself from chewing your bottom lip.
Elias’s eyes flickered down quickly towards your mouth, before he cleared his throat and smiled softly at you. “Yeah, of course we can. Also means we don’t have to listen to Brock whining that we aren’t watching one of his rom com choices.”
The dryness of his tone made you giggle, immediately cutting through the lingering awkward tension. You could absolutely do a movie night just with Elias. You could absolutely handle being alone with him like this.
Absolutely.
The two of you ploughed through the pizzas while you watched one of you go-to action movies, laughing and talking all the way through, even finishing the popcorn and a couple of beers each by the time the credits were rolling. Bailey had happily sat by your feet the whole time, actually behaving himself for once, and you couldn’t remember a time when you’d felt so content. So relaxed and happy. Brock had always brought that out in you, and now that Elias had too? It just filled you with butterflies in the best way.
“Shall we watch another?”
“Definitely,” you nodded, smiling up at him.
Elias smiled easily back. “You choose? I’ll clear up.”
Before you could protest or even help him, Elias had picked up both pizza boxes and all the empty beer bottles, leaving you alone on the sofa. You heard him opening the trash can, snapping you out of your surprise, so you started scrolling through Netflix again, eventually deciding on a light-hearted comedy just as Elias re-entered the room. Bailey had trotted out to his own bed when Elias left, so it really was just the two of you now.
Something that made your breath hitch in your throat was the way that Elias sat down closer to you this time. Unmistakably closer, close enough to feel the heat from his body and to smell his cologne. He did that on purpose, there was no doubt about it. But his face gave you no answers, nothing more than his usual smile around you, so you let it go. Overthinking things was definitely not the way to go, you knew that much.
It didn’t make your heartrate calm down at all though.
You pressed play to get the movie started, lightly tossing the tv remote onto your coffee table before settling back into the sofa, letting the familiar introduction wash over you.
It took ten minutes for everything to change.
Elias wasn’t a big hugger. You knew this. Brock knew this. The whole of the Vancouver Canucks knew this. So when you felt a pressure along your shoulders, you tried not to flinch, realising it was his arm stretching across the back of the sofa when his hand lightly brushed your opposite shoulder. Elias…Elias had put his arm around you. He’d put his arm around you? You glanced up at him, trying to get any sense of his thought process, but his eyes were resolutely glued to the television, his body a frozen line of tension. All over again, your heart started racing. You were right after all. Maybe…maybe Elias really did have feelings for you, just as he’d finally hinted at the team event, and now he was making a gentle move in the most Petey way ever.
The ball was in your court.
Ever so slowly, you relaxed against under his arm, sinking into his side, head resting on his chest. You could hear just how fast his own heart was racing and it made you smile, feeling giddy that he was just as affected as you were, even more so when his arm draped around you properly. This was really happening. Elias Pettersson had really instigated snuggling with you on the sofa. This was better than any dream you could’ve imagined.
The next thing you knew, you were blinking your eyes open. The sky outside was pitch black, the curtains still wide open, and the Netflix landing page was glaring bright. But the main thing you noticed? You were curled up against Elias’s side still, head resting on his chest, his arm having fallen down to your waist and his head lolling back on the sofa. You’d fallen asleep together? Was there anything more cliché than that? Still, it felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest with how right it felt to be in Elias’s hold. His hands were so large and so warm, the heat spreading through the contact on top of your sweatpants. His chest was so solid and calming under your cheek. And as you lifted your head, ever to slightly to look at him properly, even just through the light from the TV he looked so handsome. Beautiful and peaceful. But there was no way that could be comfortable for him, and the last thing you wanted was for an aching neck to put a damper on what was the perfect evening.
So you lightly rested your hand on his chest, shaking him gently until you heard him grunt in displeasure.
“Hey, Elias, we fell asleep on the sofa,” you murmured.
He immediately groaned, making you laugh softly, smiling at him as he finally lifted his head.
“I was having such a good dream,” he grumbled.
Then he seemed to freeze as he realised where he actually was, taking note of how you were still tucked into his side, and where his arm and hand were holding you.
“Damn it, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Hey, no, we both fell asleep eh?” you said, interrupting with a smile and a shake of your head, “It’s fine, Elias. We were both cosy.”
He swallowed heavily before nodding.
“I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep on the sofa with someone before,” he mumbled, “It was…nice.”
You felt your cheeks heating up with the gentle compliment, your smile letting him know you felt the same.
“I should go,” he said softly.
No!
Well, now was your moment. Now was the time to be brave where you’d never needed to be so brave before. After everything that had been building between the two of you…now was the moment.
“Or, maybe you could stay, and we could talk in the morning,” you offered as calmly as you could.
You felt Elias inhale sharply where your hand was still resting on his chest.
“The kind of talk that I’ve been wanting to have for a while?” he asked, hope evident in his eyes.
Oh wow.
For a while?
You felt like you were floating as his words sunk in.
“Yeah I think we’re on the same page,” you murmured, your blood thrumming with possibility.
The smile that spread across Elias’s face made your heart soar, and you found yourself smiling just as widely back. And when he leant forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead, you’d never felt more alive.
You could only imagine Brock’s satisfied grin when you told him.
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solecize · 2 months
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  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision.
despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 4.6k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. n/a
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part three: the letters, the saloon and the second storm  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ previous. next. masterlist
  vi. the letters
september 2nd 2008 (age 9)
dear jungkook,
  my mom said i should write you letters. i don’t really know what to say here. you better be visiting marshmallow and be nice to her while i’m gone. i miss her a lot. i guess i miss having you around since i don’t have anyone to play guitar hero with…
p.s. happy late birthday maybe i can visit and come to your party next year if my mom lets me
  from y/n
  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***
january 19th 2009 (age 10)
dear y/n,
  i learned how to skate for the first time. it’s too bad the ice will be gone when you’re back and we won’t get to skate together. i can’t believe we’ll be in middle school soon. are you scared? hoseok and namjoon say it’s not a big deal. also, i saw your grandpa yesterday and he showed me how to use a tapper on a maple tree. so cool!
p.s. you should ask your mom if you can visit earlier this year
  from jungkook
  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***
april 23rd 2009 (age 10)
HEY JUNGKOOK,
  look inside the box, i sent you a book with this letter. i told you in my last letter that i would send you one. it’s astronomy for dummies (because you’re a dummy). you better read it before i come back to grandpa’s, okay?? you have a month and a half loser.
from y/n
  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***
september 30th 2009 (age 10)
hi y/n,
  jimin sprained his ankle during gym class. your grandpa told me to write that because it probably just made your day. i feel a little bit bad for him, the nurse at our school is really mean. also i know it’s a month away but i’m so excited for halloween. my dad got me this really cool goku costume. what are you gonna dress up as?
  from jungkook
  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***
february 4th 2010 (age 11)
jungkook,
  i’m so tired of my parents fighting all the time. all they do is yell. i can’t wait to be back in amber valley so i don’t have to hear them all the time. i wish i had your parents, they’re so nice. also i hate my class. it’s so hard to be friends with the girls that sit next to me, they always leave me out of things. don’t you miss elementary school?
  from y/n
  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***
may 17th 2010 (age 11)
dear y/n,
  guess what. my dad got me a skateboard!! it’s so cool. if you’re nice to me i’ll let you borrow it. we should see who can do the coolest trick. it’ll be me of course i’m better than you at everything LOL. you better hurry and come back!
  from jungkook
  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***
november 25th 2010 (age 11)
hi jungkook, 
  i can’t believe i’ll only be living with my dad soon. do you think my mom doesn’t want me? honestly, i’d rather just live with grandpa all the time. then i could see marshmallow everyday all year! or maybe you can convince your mom to take me in. actually, i take that back, i could never live with you. you’re so messy. 
p.s. i got my own skateboard!! it’s cold now but i’m gonna practice and bring it with me next summer
  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***
february 18th 2011 (age 12)
y/n,
  i know you’re super sad and stuff. i’m sorry about your parents. we’re gonna have the best summer ever though and maybe you won’t think so much about it. look at the bucket list i made!
eat breakfast for dinner
watch the captain america movie
ride the big kids ride at the midsummer fair (i’m tall enough now so you better be too)
stay up all night
make ice cream
  if you have any ideas, add on! hope you’re doing okay :( 
  from jungkook
  vii. the saloon
when jungkook mentioned the saloon to you, you thought it was a joke poking at the countryside life. 
  “oh, it’s actually called a saloon. like, unironically. that’s what the text said,” you rambled into your phone, edged between your ear and shoulder, as you stood in your kitchen in front of your laptop.
  on the screen, you were assembling an excel sheet of sorts to assist your navigation through the business side of the farm. thankfully, this was exactly the field you had long worked and studied in and knowing this before taking on your new role made the transition far easier. there was hardly any product to be profiting from, as you had just arrived, and you were preparing the document before the time came to deal with vendors and other local businesses.
  “oh, honey, that place has actually been called ‘the saloon’ ever since i was a little girl,” your mom’s voice chimed in from the other end.
  since the turn of your early twenties, your phone calls to your parents were far and few between and you could hear the surprise in her tone when she initially picked up. but, your grandpa’s letter seemed to be growing truer everyday, as your surroundings made drew you to reconnect with what you thought was to be lost.
  eyebrows furrowed, you continued to scroll through your work. “mom, do you think he meant it as a date? i can’t do a date, i literally just got here!”
  “calm down. it’s that amber valley hospitality. but,” your mom paused, “you did have crushes on each other growing up.”
  “mom, no way - “
  she merely laughed. “it was so obvious! you mailed a valentine’s day card to jungkook every year. one time, he punched little jimin because he called you ‘jungkook’s ugly girlfriend.’”
  “and then he screamed that i wasn’t ugly. huh, i do remember that,” you began to think. 
  spending time reminiscing with your mom momentarily distracted you from the anxiety you felt, waiting for the evening to come. jungkook did end up texting you, asking if you were coming down to the saloon for the birthday surprise. you looked away and closed your eyes when you pressed ‘send’ on the confirmation that you would drop by.
  the idea made you nervous only because it had been so long since you went out and met new people. there was no such thing as free time in your old life and you really only maintained surface-level friendships with your coworkers in your last year of the job.  however, knowing amber valley and the tight-knit community, it was only a matter of time before you got acquainted with everyone, whether you liked it or not.
  by the time it was six, you’d forced yourself to get changed and inspected your outfit several times before leaving. the last thing you wanted to do was stand out too much. so, you put on your favourite denim jeans and a plain long sleeve top, putting away your go-to strappy stilettos for the night. 
  making your way into town was quick and soon enough, you found the pub situated in between the flower shop and the hardware store. it definitely looked like it’d been around since your mom was a little girl, the exterior siding showing age with chips here and there. 
  “hey y/n.”
  you jumped, having not paid attention to your surroundings. turning around, it was taehyung holding a box adorned in magenta polka dot wrapping. he wore a similar outfit to the one from the day before, except a different cowboy hat. you wondered if there was a store in town that specialized in selling just these hats.
  “hi taehyung. is this for jin?” you offered a smile, gesturing to the box.
  a pleased grin formed on taehyung’s face. “yup. i’m pretty sure i got him the best gift out of everyone, but don’t tell anyone.”
  he walked ahead of you and opened the door, pausing. you realized he was opening it for you and you quickly thanked him, going right in. small town hospitality. 
  it was saturday evening, but to your surprise, there were hardly any patrons in the bar. taehyung then pointed to a sign by the door, which you missed completely. it read: ‘private event, invite only.’ 
  “oh, wow, am i v.i.p?” you joked, following him to the back of the room, where a stack of presents were grouped on one table. 
  “of course! you’re jungkook’s friend, after all,” he exclaimed, setting his box down with the others. “you guys go way back, huh? how long has it been since you guys since saw each other?”
  you counted in your head. “i think twelve or thirteen years. a while.”
  “what, no facebook back in the day?” he teased.
  “no, he was never nearly fond of that. after i stopped coming for the summers, we lost contact completely.” you couldn’t recall any attempts for continued communication afterwards, other than your grandpa offering updates here and there about him. “we used to write, but i don’t know what happened. . .”
  for a while, you wondered why jungkook never wrote you again after you stopped coming to the valley. admittedly, looking back, it hurt your preteen self that he never tried. but, eventually, you moved on and left jungkook in your childhood.
  taehyung nodded slowly. “so. . .you didn’t know about what happened?”
  you already knew what he was talking about and squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “no. i felt really bad about it.”
  “it’s okay. since i moved to town, i’ve really admired jungkook. if there’s any sort of pain, he hides it really well for the sake of others,” he said, leaning on the wall.
  that sounded like the jungkook you remembered. he was always the type to put others before himself, no matter how small the issue. then, you began thinking about jiwon.
  “taehyung, can i ask you something?” you suddenly said. “jiwon. she’s only nine. and jungkook doesn’t have any other family. . .”
  the smile at the corner of taehyung’s lips was sad. “yeah. jungkook is her primary guardian and has been since he was nineteen.”
  the answer seemed to weigh a hundred pounds and you had to take a second to take it all in. there were so many questions that formed, floating around your head and you couldn't seem to find the words to articulate any of them. before you could even try, you jumped again at the sudden appearance of two new individuals, one of them being jungkook himself and forced you to put away your thoughts.
  “we’re behind schedule, did yoongi put the cake in the fridge?” this new person was turned to taehyung, carrying a case of beer. “we need - oh, hi! y/n! i totally remember you, i heard you were back!”
  you’d never seen someone with such energy, exhibiting positivity like a ray of sunshine. it seemed like he was genuinely delighted to see you. taking a closer look at his features, you recognized him to be jung hoseok - jungkook’s next door neighbour. he put down the case in his hands and immediately pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.
  “hoseok, hi!” you winced, trying your best to hug him back, but it certainly made you burst into a giggle.
  he was the first person to remember you on the spot, which took you aback. a few years older than you, you weren’t as close with him as you were with jungkook growing up, but he was always around. you remember him as the big brother who showed you and jungkook the cool ‘older kid’ shows and games that your parents would have never let you watch at that young age. 
  “how have you been? you look so grown up! you’re really staying here for good?” the questions were rapid-fire, one after another.
  beside him, jungkook was smiling, but tapped hoseok to bring him back into the main conversation. “hyung. hyung! we’re behind schedule, remember?” he groaned, but grinned wider when you met his eyes. “nice to see you, though, bunny. really glad you came.”
  “oh, right.” hoseok quickly let go and cleared his throat, beginning to point to each of you with authority. “you, taehyung. go help jimin with the slideshow. namjoon has the pinata.”
  pinata? how old was this jin person, was he one of jiwon’s friends?
  “you, jungkook. jin said he’s five minutes away, we need you to distract him for a bit longer.”
  “can i help?” you piped in, feeling a bit out of place. “i mean, i’m here as a last minute guest, i’m happy to help in any way.”
  hoseok clapped his hands together in glee. “thank you, y/n! go help jungkook distract jin, you being there will give him a reason to yap on. let’s go team!” he raised his fist in encouragement and in the blink of an eye, he already dashed off. 
  at this, jungkook seemed unfazed and frankly, so were you. you remember hoseok’s personality to be like this - extremely vigorous and could never sit in one place. on the other hand, taehyung looked perplexed as much as he appeared amused. he only shrugged, picking up the case of beer that hoseok clearly forgot.
  “let’s go team, i guess. i’ll see you guys in a bit!” taehyung chuckled, walking off.
  you were expecting to be asked to move around chairs or help bring out food. this wasn’t quite in your cards. you turned to jungkook in confusion, who chuckled at your expression.
  “come follow me.”
  he led the two of you back out the saloon, hands in his jean pockets. the early summer air was stunningly humid and coming outside was like hitting a muggy and sticky wall. but, there was one thing that couldn’t be replaced.
  you couldn’t help but stare up at the sky, a fixed gaze. “you can really see the stars when you’re in the valley.”
  the stars, dotted across the night, twinkled and smiled down at you. it was a view that others only romanticized and dreamt of in carefully crafted paintings and poems made to move the soul. and now, this dream was your new home. 
  jungkook mimicked the way you tilted your head up, lost with his own gaze. “i’ve lived here all my life and i never get tired of it.”
  “i can’t believe i forgot about this. . .” you trailed off.
  he pointed out to the sky. “that one is ursa major and you can see - “
  “ - the big dipper,” the two of you said in unison, which led to a shared laughter. 
astronomy was one of your biggest interests growing up, having stacks of books and a tapestry of the night sky in your childhood bedroom. your bedroom in the farmhouse also had a shelf full of astronomy books, which your grandpa still kept until his passing. having ignored the task of organizing and arranging your new bedroom, which was the same room you occupied over your summers in amber valley, you made a note to go through this shelf when you arrived home.
  jungkook said, “you’re the one that taught me about that,” he turned back to you. “you actually used to randomly quiz me on constellations, it was really stressful.”
  you could see your younger self sitting on your grandpa’s porch steps with jungkook, who lazied on the hammock across from you. you would compile actual multiple-choice questions and threw pebbles at him whenever he got an answer wrong. eventually, your grandpa scolded you for that, so you changed your weapon of choice to toy balls.
  “i guess my lessons paid off, though,” you bantered.
  following this, you heard a person shout jungkook’s name. you looked over and saw a man walking in your direction. he was tall and handsome and his smile was inviting. a little too handsome, he reminded you of models you’d seen in high fashion ads. his clothes contributed to the image, a patterned short sleeve button down and t-shirt that gave off neat and put-together. he wore jeans like what seemed to be 90 percent of the town, but you noticed the luxury brand belt. 
  “oh, seokjin!” to this, jungkook nudged you, as if signalling for you to be ready for something.
  this was jin? the birthday boy with a pinata? he had to be around hoseok’s age.
  “hey! hoseok told me to meet him here, have you see him?” seokjin began looking around. “he is working tonight, right?”
  “uh, did he?” jungkook’s tone was not convincing and you couldn’t believe the hoseok made such a horrible liar be the distraction. “i think he is, want me to call him?”
  “um, yeah. he said he was returning something he borrowed from me.” seokjin looked at him strangely. “why don’t i just go inside and check? why are you just waiting out here?”
  “this is y/n!” jungkook suddenly blurted out, seemingly having no way around the conversation. his smile was painful and avoided making eye contact.
  your eyes went wide and seokjin turned to you, having not realized there was another person in his presence. “oh, i’m so sorry! i didn’t see you there.”
  “yeah, hi, that’s me. y/n.” this time, it was jungkook looking at you like you were the least convincing person in the world. you cleared your throat and offered a handshake to seokjin.
  seokjin didn’t seem to notice your awkwardness and took your hand. “it’s really nice to meet you. jungkook actually told me a lot about you!” it was subtle, but you could hear jungkook groan. 
  you raised your eyebrows at jungkook. “oh, did he?” 
  “you guys grew up together, right? and you’re taking over the old farm?” 
  although you could tell right off the bat that seokjin wasn’t from amber valley, his deamanour was just as welcoming and friendly. he asked you a few questions about where you’re from and how settling in was. 
  “i’m sure you’ll be a natural. it sounds like you already have a lot of experience!” seokjin exclaimed and his positivity gave you genuine reassurance. “we’re all friends around here, so don’t be shy to reach out if you need anything.”
  “thank you,” you replied.
  jungkook tried to regain his composure. “seokjin runs the bakery down the street.”
  “yeah! my wife and i used to buy eggs from your grandpa all the time, hopefully we can keep doing that,” seokjin winked at you. 
  then, the front door of the saloon cracked open just enough for hoseok to poke his head outside. there was no sign of activity from the inside, with the lights now off and all voices coming to a complete silence. 
  seokjin tilted his head slightly when looking at hoseok. “there you are. are you. . closed? the bar is closed on a saturday night?” he asked.
  “yeah, uh, plumbing issues,” hoseok’s eyes darted over to you and jungkook. “y/n, jungkook! what brings you here around this time of day? you should all come in!”
  despite the growing skepticsm etched on his face, seokjin glanced over to you two and shrugged. he followed his friend’s gesture to come inside. 
  you mumbled to jungkook, “you and your friends are all terrible liars.” to this, jungkook stifled a laugh and playfully jabbed his elbow into your arm. 
  hoseok opened the door wider and seokjin went in first, while you and jungkook trailed after. you were surprised at how well they made the interior appear deserted, with not a single soul in sight. you did noticed that they even stacked the chairs on the tables, as if the establishment was really closed.
  “by the way, hoseok is the manager of the saloon,” jungkook leaned into your ear and whispered. 
  the floorboards creaked with every step, only adding onto the heavy silence in the atmosphere. seokjin looked around, eyebrows furrowed. he cleared his throat, hoping to cut the awkward tension.
  seokjin started, “so, y/n, what happened with you and ju - “
  “surprise!”
  all of the lights flickered on and filled the room. upbeat music turned on suddenly, causing seokjin to jump and yelp. two dozen or so people popped out from random places - underneath the booths, from behind the walls, and from behind the bar. balloons and streamers began spilling out from out of nowhere.
  “happy birthday seokjin!” everyone yelled in unison.
  you awkwardly tried to join in once you caught onto what everyone was saying. despite that, the high energy ended up engulfing you and you couldn’t help but smile. some of the boys started throwing streamers at seokjin, while namjoon appeared from under the bar with a lit chocolate cake and began approaching the birthday boy in question.
  “thanks, y/n!” hoseok nudged you, as everyone began singing to seokjin. “it’s exciting that you’re around again!” 
  as the song concluded and seokjin enthusastically blew out his candles, you cheered along with everyone else. over the cheering, jungkook found his way to you again. he raised his hand, offering a high-five, which you immediately accepted.
  something about the atmosphere unlocked something inside you. within days, you were welcomed into the community and for the first time in a long time, saw people that could become your actual friends. maybe this was what your grandpa was talking about.
  “yeah,” jungkook added, “it is exciting that you’re around again.”
  “real connections. . .” you muttered to yourself, remembering the contents of your grandpa’s letter.
  the yelling got louder, as the partygoers chanted for seokjin to make a speech. “huh, what did you say?” jungkook shouted over the chanting. 
  “nothing!” 
  you weren’t prepared for the next part of grandpa’s wish for you. it was a surprise to you that you were able to ease into the town and become comfortable connecting with the people around you. at the end of the day, though, you had a farm to run and you were about to face the worst of it. 
  viii. the second storm
your grandpa’s last wishes for you were to reconnect with people and nature. nature. you didn’t realize what you were getting yourself into.
  “oh my god! why does mother nature hate me?!”
  the best thing about living in a big farmhouse by yourself was the fact that you could make as much noise as you wanted. you often found yourself yelling at the top of your lungs, shrieking like a bird when you came across anything frustrating. considering you were learning an entirely new job on your own, it happened quite often.
  you screamed into the void after your first phone call with a vendor, who kept on asking you if you knew what you were doing. you swore you almost broke your vocal cords when you sunk into the mud the first time you checked out the fields after a rainy night. at least you walked away several metres from the coop before you screeched in agony after the chickens gave you a hard morning on time. 
  when a soft knock on your front door interrupted your emotional breakdown, your heart stopped. 
  “fuck!” you whispered to yourself.
  who would be visiting you? what if it was someone important, like mayor kim? maybe they didn’t hear - no, they definitely heard. 
  you tentatively approached the door and took a deep breathe before swinging it open.
  “i didn’t know you started tending to hyenas on the farm.”
  it was jungkook with a lazy, shit-eating grin. it was early in the morning, about 8am, and he wore workout clothes. baggy grey sweatpants and a white nike tank-top, you felt like you were straining to keep your eyes on his face and not anywhere else. 
  “oh, shut it. good morning to you, too,” you shot back. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”
  “sorry, i would’ve texted, but i was already passing by on my run,” jungkook said.
  it’d been about a week since you last saw him, though he was nice enough to check in on you every once in a while to see if you were doing okay with the farm. you hardly left home, used to the same routine of working and going right to bed everyday from your old life and the habit was hard to break. 
  he continued, “anyway, i saw your windows hanging from outside and i just wanted to make sure - “
  you opened the front door wider for him to see the state of your front entryway and his jaw dropped. there was water everywhere on the floor. the storm from the night before was aggressive and the age of the house couldn’t stand it. you didn’t anticipate for it to be this bad, having just shoved the windows closed before you went to bed.
  “yeah, they’re wrecked,” you sighed, looking over to what was left of it, considering most of it was on the ground. “actually, that’s why i was screaming.”
  “you know, i take what i said back. totally justified.”
  “thanks,” you rolled your eyes and sighed. he made a gesture as if to come in and you obliged, carefully stepping aside and making sure you weren’t stepping in a puddle. “i’m surprised this hasn’t happened before.”
  he let out a low whistle, as he walked inside and took in the sight of your floors. “honestly, me neither. you would think this would’ve happened already ages ago.”
  you didn’t know what else to do but shrug. “i can handle it.” despite your words, you certainly could not handle it. there were still a million things you had to take care of around the farm and dealing with broken windows and water was an incredible burden that you didn’t know where to start.
  “shit. look, i have to go to work in a bit, but let me help you out,” jungkook said. 
  you instantly shook your head. “jungkook, no. it’s fine, really, i got it.”
  “you’ve never picked up a screwdriver in your life.”
  “hey, you don’t know that!” you wanted to slap him upside the head like from when you were kids, but found the strength to refrain.
  it was only jokes and jungkook’s smirk showed it, but his tone then became serious. “okay, then, at least let me help you fix your windows. dude, you live alone in this big ass house on this big ass farm. just say yes.” 
  at this point, you could tell he was exasperated with your stubborness and you laughed at it. you weren’t one to turn down someone offering to do manual labour for you, but you were hesitant to show any lack of indepdence. though, something told you to say yes and it wasn’t jungkook’s annoyance with your persistence. 
  “okay, fine. you’re real annoying, you know that?” you had to add in the last part, it was only natural. 
  he shook his head. “thank you - oh, how lucky i am for milady to accept my lousy, peasant self to fix your windows!” at that, you shoved him playfully and when he barely moved from your push, jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle. 
  “i know you’re perfectly capable of doing things yourself, by the way. you just shouldn’t have to all the time,” he gave you a pointed look. 
  you nodded slowly, looking down at your feet. “thank you, jungkook.” 
  though it was only 8 in the morning, you decided to take a later start in the day, since you usually woke up at the crack of dawn. you had your entire day ahead of you and what felt like a hundred things to do and the last thing you wanted to add was a trip to the hardware store.
  “of course,” he carefully tiptoed around the water, moving back to the front door. “it’s what friends are for. i’ll come by tomorrow morning, how’s that sound?”
  this is not what you meant when you decided to “reconnect with nature” at all. with your fluffy indoor slippers soaked in rainwater, you were certainly more than connected with it. you made a mental note to visit the beach and call it a day, hoping that would fulfill your grandpa’s wish for you to be one with mother earth and that the forces of nature would leave you alone after that.
𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @sstrongstyletyle @wobblewobble822 @seokoutt @firelcrds @taiwan0618
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woso-fan91 · 4 months
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Christmas Miracle
Ona Batlle x reader
Ona and R are dating long distance and decided to celebrate Christmas with their respective familys but a strike of fate may alter those plans.
It‘s my first English fic and English is not my first language so please be nice.
Ona and Y/n met while Ona was playing for United and Y/n was on a vacation in Manchester. The Spaniard was smitten from the start and during Y/n‘s time in England they grew closer and fell in love.
They called each other everyday and texted whenever they had time and it became slightly harder when Ona returned to Barcelona and Y/n stayed in Germany where she lived. But their love for eachother was strong and now they were dating for two years. Y/n tried to tell her family and friends, that she was dating the Spanish footballer but they didn’t believe her, so she didn’t exactly bother to correct them anymore. Because of Onas hectic scedule and Y/n work, they decided that they had to celebrate Christmas apart again but Y/n was still very much smitten with the defender and vice versa.
Novembre 2023
After the dominant victory over Sevilla Ona and her teammates were in a bar for a couple of celebratory drinks when Salma nudged her gently: „Chica, your phone is going crazy.“ Surprised Ona took out her phone and the caller ID showed Y/n and herself smiling happily in the camera. Quickly she excused herself from the girls and answered the phone with a bright smile: „Hola hermosa.“
„Hola bebe“ came Y/n‘s voice from the other end and right away Ona felt something was very wrong: „What‘s the matter cariño?“ She heard shuffling from the other end and y/n‘s broken voice: „My dad…he‘s dead. He… he‘s gone Onita.“ Ona‘s heart broke hearing her girlfriend so sad and she decided to step outside: „Oh cariño, I‘m so sorry. I‘m checking the next flights to you, okay?“ „No!“ came Y/n‘s reply almost instantly: „You don‘t have to come Ona. You have important matches coming up and I couldn‘t ask for you to give them up for me…“ Ona looked surprised to the busteling street of Barcelona: „You don’t want me to come?“ Y/n sighed „Of course I want you here Ona, but those are important games and my dad loved watching you play so you would honour him by playing for him. Can you do that bebita? I just wanted to hear your voice and wanted to tell you that I love you.“ „I love you too cariño, very much so and I will play every game for him, I promise. What about Christmas though? Want me to come then?“ answered Ona playing with the promise ring y/n gave her the last time they saw each other face to face. Y/n sighed „You were so happy to celebrate your first Christmas back in Spain with your family bebe. I do not want to stand in the way of that. Your family is thrilled to have you back. Celebrate with them and we‘ll see each other in January like we planned. I would only destroy your mood because I know I will not celebrate Christmas this year.“ With a heavy heart Ona accepted Y/n‘s answer for now vowing to plan a trip to her girl, even if it will only be a day.
Christmas eve
Y/n, her mom and her brother with his wife were having dinner and Y/n was very much done with the day and this dinner. Ona was radio silent the whole day and Y/n missed her girlfriend very much. Her sister in law looked over: „What‘s gotten you so mopey?“ Y/n shrugged her shoulders and toyed with her drink lying smoothly: „Just tired and a migraine coming up.“ She looked symphatic when suddenly the doorbell rang. Surprised Y/n looked over to her mom: „Erwartest du noch wen Mama?“ („Were you expecting someone mom?“) She shook her head no and yYn opened the door only to let out a surprised squeal when she saw her girlfriend infront of her: „Bebe!“ Ona smiled shyly bundled up in a thick jacket which Y/n recognized as her own: „Hola mi vida.“ Y/n barreled in her girlfriends arms and buried her face in the defenders neck. With a content hum Ona wrapped her strong arms around her girlfriend and pressed a gentle kiss to Y/n‘s temple „Merry Christmas cariño.“
Y/n‘s family came to check on the commotion and found Y/n in the arms of a brunette girl who held her in her arms and kissed her lovingly. Clearing his throat Y/n’s brother asked: „Who‘s that Y/n?“ Y/n was put back down to earth by Ona but she wrapped her arm protectivly around Y/n‘s waist as she answered happily: „I‘m Ona. Y/n‘s girlfriend of two years.“ Curling closer against Ona Y/n smirked: „The girlfriend you guys didn’t believe that existed.“ Her brother and sister in law looked gobsmacked while her mom looked happy: „That’s why you told Dad and me not to worry about you.“ Y/n nodded and pulled Ona over: „Mom, Ona. Ona, my mom.“ Ona handed Y/n‘s mother the flowers she bought: It‘s a pleasure to finally meet you Misses y/l/n.“ She took them with a kind smile: „It‘s nice to meet you too Ona and please call me y/m/n.“ Ona smiled: „Very kind of you. And I‘m so sorry for your loss.“ „Thank you. Please come in. Do you want anything to drink or are you hungry?“ Ona smiled „A little bit. I only had a quick breakfast before jumping on the plane here.“ Y/n turned in Ona‘s arms and kissed her lovingly: „Thank you for coming. I love you.“ Ona kissey y/n back just as lovingly: „There is nowhere else I‘d rather be cariño. Mami and Papi send their regards and want to see you when you‘re in Spain.“ Happily Y/n nodded and made a plate for Ona to eat while the rest sat back down.
Placing the plate infront of the defender Y/n went to sit next to Ona but she pulled Y/n on her lap where she happily cuddled closer to Ona and stayed for the rest of the evening.
The next day Y/n, Ona and Y/m/n entered the cementary walking to the grave of Y/n‘s dad.
Ona held Y/n‘s hand and held a single rose in the other. She carefully placed said rose on the gravestone and began talking: „Hello Mister Y/l/n. I‘m Ona Batlle and I‘m your daughters girlfriend. I apologize that I wasn’t able to attend your funeral to pay my respect then but your daughter was pretty adement that I play the Champions League game and asked me to play those games in your honour which I do by the way. I hope I‘m able to make you proud. You have raised an exceptional daughter which I love with my whole heart and I intend to marry your daughter one day. I hope that I will have your blessing for that. I promise I‘ll treat her like a princess and love her for infinity.“ Just as Ona finished talking to the grave the sun broke through the clouds and the single sunbeam hit her straight in the face which made the Spaniard smile: „Gracias Mister Y/l/n I won‘t disappoint you. Merry Christmas.“ Turning around to face her girlfriend who had tears glistening in her eyes: „Merry Christmas cariño. I know you didn’t want to celebrate but I knew you needed me here. It was a gut geeling“ Y/n nodded smiling slightly: „Si bebe, I needed you. Merry Christmas.“ As they shared a sweet kiss infront of the grave, the sun shone warmly at the couple and Y/n smiled at the sky: „Merry Christmas Dad. Thank you for my Christmas Miracle. I love you.“
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agentstarkid · 9 months
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SERENDIPITY ✦ DR3
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“Serendipity is an unexpected and very lucky finding, that is, a coincidence that fills us with happiness. Serendipity in love implies the feeling that the universe conspires in our favor, bringing that special person into our lives at the right time and oh boy, did the universe send her everything she ever needed in the form of a 5'10" man with a built-in accent, a love for Tim Tams, adrenaline-fueled spirit and a smile that could light up a whole town.”
✦ pairing: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader
✦ type: social media au
✦ face claim: becky g
✦ warnings: female!reader, covid-19 & quarantine mentions, age gap, language.
✦ pit wall live: HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY BESTIES! 🤗💗 I've been working on this for a month, honestly I thought I was gonna finish it fast but tbh that was really naïve of me 🥴 the amount of times I ended up changing almost every little thing is insane lol but today I sat down and commited to finish and post this! this is my first ever smau or any kind of 'x reader' really, so please be kind 🤍 and of course it was going to be about the love of my life!
— oh btw, my idea is to get to present time and make it angsty so let me know what you guys think! I really hope you enjoy!
─── The Joker & The Queen (Masterlist)
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JANUARY 01, 2020
yourinstagram and danielricciardo added to their stories!
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danielricciardo has followed yourinstagram!
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yourinstagram
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♡ liked by anitta, danielricciardo and 6,546,214 others
yourinstagram 2019 was full of happiness, pain, healing and growth. I loved a lot, I cried a lot and I laughed a lot. I'm grateful for a lot of things in life, but I'm specially grateful for you guys ❤️🥂 I LOVE YOU! ❤️
tagged: selenagomez, fioamato, iamdannaschwarz, itsvittoriasousa
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fioamato It's out with the old and in with the new ⏭️😜
iamdannaschwarz this could be the start of something new indeed 😏🤭 yourinstagram 🙈 user yourinstagram girlieee does this mean you found your Troy Bolton tonight? 👀👀👀
iamdannaschwarz what a year it has been! Through the ups and downs you prevailed. So proud of you! Cheers, amiga! 🥂❤️
itsvittoriasousa u deserve the whole world, i wish everyone knew ur heart 🥺 love you biiiiiiig ❤️
user1 can we talk about that dress!!!! jaw dropped 🤯
user2 Mami 🔥🔥🔥
selenagomez ❤️🥂🎆
user3 danny ric you ain't slick baby we can see u 👀
user4 words on the streets that they were seen pretty close the whole night 👀
user5 girlies do we think the writing on the napkin belongs to mr. ricciardo? 🧐
user4 what about the last pic?? could it be about a nod to him???
user3 somebody call the fbi and the cia we need to decode this 🔎🔎🔎
sebastianyatra una locura de año 🚀 happy new year penguin!
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JANUARY 25, 2020
justjared
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♡ 9.075 Likes
justjared New couple alert?! YN LN, 21, and Formula 1 driver Daniel Ricciardo, 30, were spotted on a walk and getting cozy during a night out in New York. More photos now on JustJared.com #YNLN #Daniel Ricciardo Photos: Backgrid
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user1: well that's a couple nobody saw coming 😶 good for them tho
user2: These pictures are so creepy as to get these they literally have to stalk these people and are probably hiding in bushes or wherever to get the shots
user3: he's a full-grown man in his 30s messing around with a teenager how shocking 🙄
user4: how is she a teenager if she's 21??? she is a consenting adult and has been for a while...make it make sense user5: it's a 9-year age gap not 25 😑 y'all should learn to mind your own fucking business
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FEBRUARY 05, 2020
danielricciardo added to their story!
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yourinstagram added to their story!
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yourinstagram
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♡ liked by danielricciardo, greeicy and 7,452,325 others
yourinstagram starry nights, sunsets, little moments, deep conversations & special feelings 💖🃏
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iamdannaschwarz pov: you were there to witness the first conversation 🤣
itsvittoriasousa never knew a person could blush that hard 😂 yourintagram you are both getting blocked 🙅‍♀️
fioamato 🃏🃏🃏
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michaelitaliano and scottyjames31 have followed yourinstagram!
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MARCH 11 & 12, 2020
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yourinstagram has added to their story!
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APRIL 09, 2020
yourinstagram
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♡ liked by danielricciardo, jbalvin and 5,723,498 others
yourinstagram Quarantine with an aussie boyfriend: turns out, 'G'day mate' is the only greeting you'll ever need. Who needs handshakes anyway? Also, you get to excessively use the word 'mate' without being judged. It's basically a linguistic free pass 🤷🏽‍♀️😂🇦🇺
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user: OMG OMG IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING!!!! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!!!
user: Dan-Y/N nation how we feeling today? 😍
user: wasn't she dating sebastianyatra tho?
user2: nah they've been friends for years
user3: «cristina» is lowkey about her tho 🤭 "you were 19, i was 23"?? and there's a 4 year age gap between them?? they deffff had something going on a few years back AT LEAST 👀
user2: who knows maybe they did, but they refer to each other as "like-a-brother" and "like-a-sister" so as far as we know they are only best friends 🤷🏽‍♀️
fioamato what do you say titi yourmomsinstagram does it get the seal of approval?
yourmomsinstagram 🤔🤔🤔 yourinstagram she face-timed me and told me to pass the phone so she could talk to him. They talked for an hour. They are besties now, she's just trying to play hard-to-get 🙃
danielricciardo and 5,345 other liked it
fioamato 😂😂😂
jbalvin encantado de verte feliz hermanita ❤️
danielricciardo tell your boyfriend he's really lucky 🤙🏼
yourinstagram thanks will do, mate 🤙🏼
user OMG??? you guys are so unserious 😭
user2 MOM??? DAD???
user3 danielricciardo yourinstagram i'm glowing, flourishing and thriving 🥰😭
michaelitaliano shitty accent though
yourinstagram I love my haters ❤️ you guys are my motivators ☺️ btw don't you have a kangaroo to fight?
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APRIL 29, 2020
yourinstagram
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♡ liked by michaelitaliano, danielricciardo, lewishamilton and 6,498,498 others
yourinstagram Spanglish country…we’re doing it!! Watch kanebrown_music and I blend sounds, languages and dance moves in #LostInTheMiddleOfNowhere (Spanish Remix) 😜 song and video OUT NOW 🔥
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iamcardib OKAAAY MAMAAA 🧊🧊🥶
lali ALTA DIOSA 🔥
user she 👏 never 👏 misses 👏
itsvittoriasousa BRO U ABSOLUTELY ATEEE
user jaw drops to floor eyes pop out of sockets hearts out of chest 😍
danielricciardo wow caliente 🔥
user the amount of unwell I am in this exact moment
user2 daniel is right. muy caliente 🥵
user3 i'm losing my mind over 2 words + emoji okay
user4 daniel stop being a cunt and make an appearence in one of Y/N's ig lives
user5 user4 you could totally hear his voice in the last one lmao
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MAY 03, 2020
danielricciardo
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♡ liked by pierregasly, jensonbutton, iamdannaschwarz and 710,610 others
danielricciardo Just a bunch of life 🤠🚜🇦🇺🇺🇸
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yourinstagram awesome taste in music mate 👍🏼
danielricciardo big fan of hers 👍🏼 love finding new underground artists ☺️ user imagine calling THE yourinstagram an "underground artist" lmaooo user2 they're both such little shits i love them your honor 😭
kristenanniebell ❤️❤️❤️
scottyjames31 I see you're in good company mate
corey_wilson goodness I miss the ranch so much
user daniel said lemme give you thirsty bitches a few droplets of water
user2 there's so much to unpack here omfg
iamdannaschwarz you're welcome 😌 also there's a no-return policy in the contract ok bye
fioamato you're welcome 😌 x2 itsvittoriasousa you're welcome 😌 x3 danielricciardo nah i think i'm gonna keep it for a long while thanks. i'll rate you guys with 5 stars 👍🏼
user3 THE LETTER ON THE LAST PHOTO ???? I'M SENDING Y'ALL MY THERAPY BILLS
user4 THE MATCHING RINGS PLEASE!!!!!!! 😭😭😭
user5 all this soft launch shit is killing me guys help somebody let them know that we already know so they can stop playing!!!
yourinstagram but where's the fun in that babes? 😌 user holy shittttt!!!! y/n ???? i- 🤯 user5 OH MY GOD!!!! HI MOTHER AJKFFLAHDASD user2 it's a fucking confirmation!!!! dan-y/n nation we got it!!! it's crumbs but we got it!!!!!
user6 we stan a suportive bf ☝️🤩
user7 999 for grammy's best album of the year ✨manifesting✨
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─── Please don't forget to reblog & comment! ♡
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shoutaaizawas · 3 months
Note
20. How long did you think you could hide that? with Shouta, please! I feel like you'd be one of the best writers for it. (:
↳ aizawa shouta x reader → ❝look at me❞
summary: you get locked in a building while it's under attack, the last person you expect to come to your rescue is your ex boyfriend. word count: 2.6k+  tags/warnings: january hurt/comfort event, light descriptions of head attack, injury, and blood a/n: thank you for your prompt! a late addition to the january event.
masterlist
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Having an ex-boyfriend that was a hero was not the best thing. Picture it, you’re facing one of the scariest moments of your life. In dire need of help and then your ex shows up.
It’s really a nightmare scenario.
The day started normally, you just had to run one errand then you could spend the rest of your day relaxing. All you had to do was go to city hall to pick up some papers then you were free to do nothing.
You made it a point to get up early and head over there early so you could enjoy your day off. That was the wrong choice evidently and you were quickly punished for your attempt at being productive.
You were walking down a hallway when lights began to flash and alarms sounded. Lockdown.
The city hall was under attack and it was under lockdown.
Quickly you took shelter in an open office under a desk, not fully knowing the threat yet.
It was loud, there was commotion in the building. It was clear something was happening but you weren’t sure what yet.
The next thing you heard was the office door open, you held your breath in fear.
“Is anyone in here?” You heard a man’s voice.
Peeking around the corner of the desk you tried to see who was talking. Surely a villain wouldn’t ask that. Right?
The last thing you wanted to see was Aizawa Shouta, otherwise known as the pro hero Eraserhead.
Maybe you wished it was a villain.
“Aizawa?” You said, coming out of your hiding spot.
“What are you doing here?” His voice was steady but you saw through his calm demeanor. You had been with him long enough to read him.
“I-I was just here to pick up paperwork.” You said. “What’s happening?”
Aizawa sighed. “There’s a gang of villains disgruntled with the mayor. They’re going after everyone in the building.”
“Oh no,” That was bad. Why did you have to be here right now?
“Stay here, okay?” He said. “I’m going to clear this floor and I’ll come back and get you out of here. Put a chair to block the door. I’ll knock when I’m back.”
You nodded. There was a conflicting feeling of not wanting to be alone right now but also not wanting to be around your ex.
“Okay.” You said. Aizawa nodded before closing the door. You took the chair and wedged it under the handle praying that they wouldn’t try getting in.
Sitting on the desk you wondered how your peaceful day off had turned into this. The last person you wanted to see was Aizawa Shouta.
You had done all you could to push away any thought of him. Despite the time that had passed since he broke up with you the wound still felt fresh.
Aizawa was your everything. You had met him by accident, he had come to your rescue one night. You offered to get him coffee and the two of you hit it off. You kept running into him and before you knew it you were falling for him. The two of you started to date.
You had dated for over a year and you thought everything was going great. You had even moved in together. Then one day he broke up with you, with no warning, no explanation.
It devastated you. You loved him more than anything, you thought the two of you would get married. Just like that you were alone, it was hard. He had moved out leaving you in the apartment where you had shared so many beautiful moments. It felt like living with a ghost.
You moved out to an apartment on the other side of town. You didn’t care if it meant being far away from work you just wanted to be away from all the places you had memories at.
It still hurt, one day living with the love of your life, the next he’s gone refusing to explain why. It ruined your confidence, took away the future you had in your head, and left you feeling empty.
The memory still hurt.
“What do you mean you’re breaking up with me?” You asked him in disbelief. If he was the type you’d think he was pranking you.
“This isn’t working out anymore, I want to move my life in a different direction.” He said all emotion gone from him.
“Did I do something?” You questioned, tears already burning in your eyes.
“No, things have just changed.” He said.
“Did you meet someone else?” You asked heartbroken at the thought.
“No.” He said quickly. “It’s just- Things are different now.” He said.
“What things?” You asked feeling desperate for an answer.
“I’ll be moving out.” He said. “I’ll be back tomorrow while you’re at work to get my stuff.”
He left with a packed bag and it felt like your world had fallen apart. You had created every horrible reason he would have left you since you never got a real reason from him.
A bang at the door brings you back to reality.
It’s not a knock and as you hear more noise you realize that someone is trying to break in. You get up and hide under the desk again hoping that they won’t be able to get in.
Your hopes are dashed as a loud noise tells you that the door has burst open. You curl up as small as you can and hold your breath. Maybe there’s a chance they don’t search the room.
Footsteps sound around the room as the man looks around, throwing furniture as he goes. It’s silent for a moment before the chair covering your hiding spot is torn away.
Before you can even react you’re grabbed by the ankle and dragged out. The villain above you is much larger than you and try as you might you can’t fight him off.
You’re picked up and thrown onto the desk. You scream for help, Aizawa can’t be far away, he’s always come to your rescue in the past and despite your split, you believe he still will.
There are a few more moments that feel like they last forever before the villain is pulled away and tossed to the side. You watch as Aizawa makes quick work of the villain.
His gaze turns to you, concern on his face. “Are you okay?” He asked you.
You start to stand up and you feel a pain in your stomach, your hand moves under your jacket and you feel something there. When you touch it, it hurts and you quickly realize what it is.
“I’m fine.” You told him.
He nods. “Okay, the floor is clear. Let’s go to the stairwell and I’ll get you out of here.” He said.
Aizawa leads you out of the room and down the hallway. It feels like every step hurts more and more but you keep pushing. You know it’s stupid, that you should tell him you're injured. That he should probably carry you out of the building but you can’t stand the thought of telling him.
In your head, there are only two options. One, that his reaction is stoic and he treats you like he would any other victim he would help as a hero. Or two, that you would see something more in his eyes and it would give you some hope that maybe he still felt the same way you did about him.
Getting to the stairwell you could feel more blood leaking from the wound, you knew the knife was still in the wound so it would keep you from bleeding too much. You were starting to feel light-headed as you descended the four floors to the ground level.
It was when you were almost at the ground level you missed a step, slipping down the last few steps. Aizawa was quick to grab you by your shoulders pulling you up. “Are you okay?” He asked.
“I-I’m fine.” You said trying to stand but your legs were shaky.
“Is that blood?” He asked spotting the red spreading through your shirt and now jacket.
You moved to try and hide it but you realized it was too much now. “I’m fine.” You said trying to sound more confident now.
Aizawa moves your open jacket out of the way to see the knife in your stomach. “You’re not fine!” His voice is harsh and you can see in his eyes how upset he is.
“I-” You start but he cut you off.
“How long did you think you could hide this?” His voice was firm but still upset.
Your eyes move to the ground, not wanting to look at him.
Aizawa lets out a heavy sigh. “We need to get you to medical now.” He said. “I’m going to carry you.
Before you can argue he picks you up carefully, holding you in a princess carry. He moves out of the stairwell through the lobby and to the lockdown checkpoint.
You hate it, you hate the memories of the times he carried you like this while you giggled and nuzzled your face into his neck. You hate the way his hands are so gentle around you. You hate the way you miss him so much even after all this time.
The sunlight should feel like relief, feel like safety but all you can think about is how you wish you never had to leave his arms.
Aizawa sets you down on a gurney at the triage tent set up for this disaster. Laying down you feel dizzy and sick but you have this overwhelming want to have him stay.
Maybe it’s the fear of the knife still stuck in your stomach or the attack you just faced but when Aizawa turns to move you grab his wrist.
“Please-” Your voice is weak. “Stay.”
“I-” Aizawa’s voice is low. “I just need to get a medic. I’m not going to leave.”
You’re surprised, you think that he should probably go back in and help the other heroes to stop the villains there but the last thing you’re gonna do right now is argue.
Aizawa returns to your side and you’re shocked when he takes your hand in his. A doctor approaches you and assesses your wound.
“We need to get her to a hospital, if we remove this here she will bleed out.” They said.
“I’ll go with her,” Aizawa said shocking you again.
They loaded you into the ambulance and Aizawa stayed by your side. You didn’t understand why he was staying with you and you felt conflicted. Every part of you wanted him here but you didn’t want to face the moment he walked away.
At the hospital, they’re able to stabilize you and get a scan to confirm the wound hasn’t hit any organs or major arteries. Aizawa stays by your side as much as he can and when they finally are ready to remove the knife and stitch you up he’s there holding your hand.
“It’s going to be okay,” He said as he held your hand, you hate how much you love it. You close your eyes as they pull the knife out, it doesn't hurt because they’ve numbed you but the sensation is still disturbing and you let out a gasp.
You need something to distract you.
“Why did you break up with me?” The question leaves your mouth before you can stop yourself. Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see the doctor who is stitching up your wound glance over at you for a moment before resuming. You know this isn’t the time or place but you aren’t sure if you’ll ever get it again.
Aizawa stares at you for a moment before sighing. “I was scared.” He said. You’re surprised that he answered you but you’re even more surprised by his answer.
“What?” You asked confused.
“I broke up with you because I was scared of losing you.” He explained.
“I would never leave,” You said.
“I didn’t think you were going to leave- I-” He paused, his eyes glancing away before returning to your gaze. “A friend of mine, a hero, she lost her husband. It was really hard to watch, she fell apart- I couldn’t stop wondering what would happen if something happened to you.”
“Shouta-” You said softly.
“I obsessed over it, and when you had that run-in with a villain because they targeted you because you were close to me- it was the breaking point. I didn’t want to put you in danger and I didn’t want to lose you.” He explained.
“And here we are,” Probably not the right time for a joke but you couldn’t stop yourself.
“Yeah.” He sighed. “You’re right. I realized a while ago that I was wrong for breaking up with you. It was cruel to do that to you with no explanation and I ruined the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.”
You stared at him surprised by his words. Your attention was fully off the discomfort of being stitched up.
“I regretted it from the day I broke up with you but for months I told myself it was to protect you but the reality is I was scared and I should have just dealt with my feelings in a healthy way instead of pushing you away.” He said. “I’ve been a coward, avoiding you when I should have been at your door begging you to forgive me and take me back.”
Maybe you died. That was your first thought at his words. How many times had you wished Shouta had come to you and asked for you back? And here you were, being stitched up by a doctor for a stab wound and Shouta was holding your hand telling you he should have never left.
“Shouta-” You said looking up at him. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wished you would come back, how many times I wanted to chase after you and beg you to explain what happened.” Your eyes started to burn with tears.
He looked relieved, a soft smile on his lips.
“You’re all stitched up, we’d like to move you to a room so we can keep you overnight to make sure you don’t have an infection.” The doctor said feeling hesitant to interrupt your moment.
You looked at her feeling awkward that you just had that moment in front of a stranger. “Thank you.” You said.
After being moved into a regular room Aizawa sat at your side.
The room was quiet for a moment before he spoke. “I know I don’t deserve another chance, I know what I did was hurtful and immature and I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you like that.” He said. “But I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t ask you if you would ever consider taking me back. I love you, I never stopped loving you and you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
Maybe it was the pain medicine but you stared at Shouta for a moment in disbelief.
“I’ve missed you so much.” You said, maybe it was the stress of the day but you started to tear up. “I never stopped loving you, all I’ve ever wanted is you back.”
Aizawa looked at you with soft eyes. He moved closer, leaning in to press a kiss against your forehead. “I was so scared today when I saw all that blood. I thought the worst.”
You grabbed his arm, gently pulling him closer. “Thank you for saving me, for getting me out.”
He looked at you with warm eyes, you could feel his love through his gaze. “I will always be there to save you,” He said softly. “I promise, I’ll never leave your side again.”
Your hand moved to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a soft kiss.
You didn’t know what the future held but it didn’t matter now that you had the love of your life back at your side.
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