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schemmentigfs · 1 month

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Caught Red-Handed.

paring: melissa schemmenti x reader.

summary: janine accidentally catches you and melissa during a intense making out session at school.

warnings: smut (obviously) public sex, spanking, dirty talk, mommy kink, praises, fingering, swearing, melissa is just a horny motherfucker in this one.

author notes: the winner of the poll! my inspiration for this oneshot came when I was scrolling through my spotify playlist. Or maybe it was an excuse to write another smut featuring melissa & reader. (yeah, definitely the second option.) sorry for the little delay, I was going to post yesterday but I had an exhausting day and forgot it. Just me being me. Anyways, enjoy. 🫶🏻

You lost track of time as you felt your body being pushed into the janitor's closet with some force and urgency. Your back hit a cupboard containing several of Mr Johnson's cleaning products, some falling to the floor on impact. Making a loud noise echo throughout the entire hallway that could alert anyone, but that didn't scare your girlfriend who, unlike you, wasn't scared of the possibility of being caught and continued the makeout session passionately, smirking into your lips.

“We can't—” your insistence and protests are interrupted by a small gasp when Melissa's soft and warm lips deposited small kisses and bites on your neck. Marking and claiming you as hers, with each of the hickeys. For the rest of the week, you would have to wear something to hide those blue and purple marks if you didn't want any of your co-workers to suspect anything. “Babe. Someone might hear us or worse.”

Since you started a serious relationship with the older woman two months ago, it was common for you to have a secret makeout session somewhere at school that would lead to hours of loving or rough sex (it really depended on Melissa's mood) when you got home. But today, she didn't seem in a hurry to go to her place soon. In fact, she had other plans.

She had spent the entire morning teasing you and discreetly flirting with you whenever she got the chance. And instead of being embarrassed like always, you challenged her at lunch saying that she could do better than that. You were quite naive to think she wasn't going to do anything, but here was Melissa Schemmenti about to fuck you senseless and show you who was in charge.

“You just need to be quiet, sweet girl,” she whispers and began to unbutton your blouse. Massaging and squeezing your breasts through the fabric of your bra. “Or everyone will find out how you are a desperate little slut for mommy.”

You throw your head back, losing yourself in the pleasure and sensation. “Mel,” you groaned when when she throwed the fabric on the floor and pinched and licked your nipples. “Please.”

The older woman stops for a second and put a hand on your chin, forcing you to look into her eyes. “Be a good girl and behave, understand?“

Remaining quiet, you pull away slightly, still a little hesitant about getting caught and having sex with Melissa on school grounds. It didn't sound too appropriate, especially in the janitor's closet. “Honey, let’s go home. We can’t do it here.”

A fury is evident in her green eyes and she slaps your ass hard, making you wince and hide your face in her shoulder. “I told ya to behave and not act like a fucking whore.” Another even harder slap. “Do you understand?” she repeats.

The change in her behavior sent shivers throughout your whole body. Melissa was a very possessive and dominant woman, it was obvious and everyone was aware of it. She liked the feeling of power, of being in control and being honest, you liked that side of her. It suited her a lot.

“Yes mommy, I understand. I’ll be good and behave,” you gulped feeling all the excitement go straight to your core.

“That’s my good girl, now shut up and lean against the wall. Don’t make me wait or I will punish you just like last time,” she commands with a harsh tone and you nod, not wanting to be punished for bad behavior (at least not yet.)

Melissa slowly approaches and gives your lips a tender peck, before undoing your jeans and panties in a quick, single movement. Leaving her precious and innocent angel completely naked, ready to be ruined by her. Instantly you wrap one of your legs around her waist. Earning a satisfied hum from the redhead.

“Look at you, my beautiful girl, always so obedient and ready for me,” she parted your folds with her slender fingers, biting her lip as she noticed and spread your wetness. “I've been thinking about it all day, how I was going to destroy you.”

“Please, I need you inside. Please mommy, don’t tease,” you whimper when the redhead presses her thumb on your clit and circles your entrance. The action emitting a trembling moan to fall from your lips.

“It's kind of funny, you know? Earlier you were all confident trying to challenge me,“ she chucked peppering kisses in your entire face to relax you for what was about to happen. “And now you're begging and aching to be touched by mommy.”

After painful seconds, without warning she enters you with three fingers, filling your tight hole deliciously. Barely giving you time to get used to the painful stretching and thrusting in and out of you at a rapid pace. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, Melissa knew exactly where and how to touch you, making you a squirming babbling mess every single time.

“FUCK!” you scream, covering your mouth with one of your hands. “That feels so good..”

She smiles mischievously, enchanted by the way your walls clenched around her fingers. The smell of sex and the sound of your celestial moans filling the room as she curled and pumped her digits, slowly bringing you to climax. Her free hand gripping your hips to keep you steady.

“Do you like this, babygirl? Do you like it when I go deep inside you?” the woman asks while mocking your totally fucked up state — your hair was slightly messy, your neck was covered in love marks and your eyes were wide. A beautiful sight for Melissa. “Answer me and you'll be rewarded.”

“Yes, I love it when you fill me up mommy. You make me feel so good,” your words came out in a whisper, as your breathing seemed increasingly labored and uneven. Your hips moved back and forth in time with the rhythm of her fingers inside you. “Shit,” You cry out as she finds your spongy spot and slows down a little.

As much as Melissa was enjoying watching your face turn into a complete blur of pleasure with each touch, she knew she had to be quick to avoid the risk of Mr. Johnson or anyone else coming in and catching the two of you in such an intimate moment.

“Such a good little girl. C'mon, sweetheart, cum for mommy,” the Italian whispers in your ear, biting your earlobe. “You can do this, princess.”

“I’m gonna—” you meweld, grabbing onto the lapels of her green blazer and trying to hold Melissa close. A warm white liquid ran down your girlfriend's fingers and wrist, your legs were trembling. You instantly wrapped your arms around her neck so you could balance yourself, since you didn't trust your ability to stand without holding on to something. “Holy shit.”

During your high, Melissa whispered sweet nothings and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. “Take a deep breath, amore mio,” she instructed, removing her fingers from you affectionately, once you calmed down.

“Feel better?” you ask with a genuine laugh putting on your clothes again with some difficulty.

“Much better. But I can't wait to get home and bend you in the kitchen counter.” She responds in a seductive tone, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. And you fight the urge to stay there and let her do whatever she wants to you.

God, that fiery redhead would be the death of you.

“Well, I think we better go home right away. To start our long night as soon as possible..” you spoke with a stupid smile and intertwined your fingers together, pulling her so you could leave discreetly.

But the plan backfired when you opened the door and bumped into Janine, who had an expression of complete shock on her face, alternating her gaze between the two of you, letting her bag fall to the floor. “Oh! You were—” she says louder than usual, almost alerting the rest of the crew nearby. Shit, you had been caught.

An uncomfortable silence settles and you hide your face in your hands, mentally cursing yourself for not having convinced Melissa that this was a bad idea. And now it was time to deal with the consequences of the sinful act.

“Don’t say a word, pipsqueak or you’ll regret it.” Melissa threatens, crossing her arms and giving the youngest a deadly glare, in a desperate and failed attempt to intimidate her, but the redhead's flushed cheeks gave away how embarrassed she was by the situation. “I mean it.”

The second grade teacher raises her hands in redemption. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, I swear!” she gives a panicked smile. “I was just in the hallway and I ended up hearing a scream and wanted to check what happened. Guess this explains a lot. So for how long have you been together? Does anyone know besides me? Oh, and are you living together?” Her expression softens and she launches into the questions, seeming to be starting a mini interrogation.

“It’s been two months and no one knows yet, we’re planning to tell everyone soon. And we don’t live together, even though I spend more time at Mel’s house than at mine.” You replied calmly trying to keep up with her quick words.

“That's cute, I'm glad you two are dating. I've always been rooting for you! Seriously.”

After more questions, Janine said goodbye to you. Promising that she wouldn't tell anyone beforehand — this was after another small threat from your girlfriend (of course) who wanted to make sure that wasn't going to happen.

“Next time, I'll listen to you about not doing a makeout session on school grounds. It was a bit awkward.” Melissa admits placing a hand on your back. “Ready to go?”

“Always.”

“Oi, lovebirds. Aren’t you forgetting something?” Mr. Johnson asks, catching your attention. Pointing to a squeegee and bucket of water. “You make the mess, you clean it up.” Fuck, apparently you and Melissa weren't going home anytime soon.

#melissa schemmenti x reader #lisa ann walter #melissa schemmenti x you #abbott elementary #wlw #wlw smut

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cameronspecial · 6 months

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Hello! It’s me again (the one who requested the You Are In Love fic). I absolutely loved it!

I’ve been wondering if you could do a reader x Rafe Cameron where they attend The Eras Tour because reader is a swiftie! (they ofc are in front row because Rafe spoils her)

You Are My Lover

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

A/N: I'm glad you liked the first request! Hopefully, I got all the tour stuff right.

Masterlist

Rafe spoils his princess like there is no tomorrow, so when Taylor Swift announced her Eras Tour, he knew the next thing he had to spend his money on for her. Of course, it is no problem getting her the tickets. He has connections and he isn’t above bribing people to get it for her. Y/N doesn’t have to worry about anything except what she wants to wear and buy. She is a little nervous about leaving it all to Rafe, but he assures her that he is going to get it no matter what it takes. And he did exactly that while looking at his favourite picture of Y/N on the desk. The one taken at the Christmas village. He refrains from texting her the good news, wanting to tell her in person.

When she gets to his office that day, she has a worried look on her face. Rafe hasn’t texted her anything, so she assumes he has bad news for her. However, as she walks through the door, she can see the massive grin on Rafe’s face. “You got them?” she squeals with a smile. He can only get nod before she runs toward him to tackle him in a hug. Her lips find his as he laughs and she pulls back from him. “Where are we sitting? If it’s nosebleed tickets, that’s okay. I’m just happy that we can go,” she asks. Rafe scoffs, “Princess, I’m Rafe Cameron. I got us floor tickets.”

——

They stand at the front of the crowd. Rafe behind her to protect her from the pushing fans, who are trying to get closer. His light blue shirt matches her pink and yellow dress to form the colours of Taylor’s Lover album. The tiny red heart earrings made out of polymer clay dangle from her ears as she sings with everyone around her. When they get to “Delicate”, Rafe remembers to scream the chant with Y/N because of her constant schooling about the tour. He takes every opportunity he gets to photograph the happy look on Y/N’s face. During “All Too Well”, she feels a little tired and leans against Rafe’s chest. “Are you okay?” he whispers with his mouth pressed against her ear. She looks up at him with a smile and wraps his arms around her waist, “Yeah, I just can’t believe I’m actually here. Thank you, Rafe.” “No problem, Princess. Anything for you,” he kisses her cheek.

When Taylor passes by their section and Y/N is able to touch the singer’s hand, she feels like she is about to pass out and is very glad that Rafe is filming the moment. He can’t help but chuckle at the way his girlfriend is freaking out. The couple continues to watch the concert, participating in the tour’s traditions and singing the songs.

——

They are walking to his car when a girl about ten years old comes running up to Rafe. “Can we trade bracelets?” she asks, holding her arms out to him. He smiles down at her and displays her arms for him to pick, “Of course, which one do you want?” Y/N and Rafe had spent the afternoon yesterday making bracelets while listening to Taylor’s songs. The girl analyzes her options and picks a purple bracelet with Speak Now written on it. He hands it over to her, looking over his options on her arms. He spots the perfect one and she gives it to him. He walks over to Y/N, who is waiting for him by her car. He holds out his hand and she places hers in his. He slides the bracelet over her wrist, opening the passenger door for her. He shuts the door once she is in and makes his way to his side of the car.

As he drives out of the parking lot, Y/N looks down at the bracelet he gave her from the little girl. Her heart warms at the sight. Most of the bracelet has light pink beads, but the ones at the top of her wrists are white with black letters. On each side of the sentence, there are pink heart beads. She reads over the words, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. You are my lover.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia

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yourlocallygrowngay · 2 months

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Kiss of Purple, Blue and Green

Summary: After a drunken night together, Arthur sees a love bite on your neck and mistakens it for a bruise.

Warnings: bit of angst and a whole lot of fluff, suggestive themes

Word count: 2,361

Ask and you shall receive. Here's a one shot of the scenario I posted a few days ago ;)

Check this out on A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54854827

Last night was still a bit of a blur, pieces of it manifesting disorderly, like trying to fit puzzle pieces into the wrong spots. All you knew for certain was two things: the pounding headache that was making you wince at each sound, and… that you and Arthur Morgan had been up to no good.

You shivered in the cold morning air, pulling the blanket over your trembling shoulders as you sat down in front of the last embers of the campfire, a steaming cup of coffee in your hands to warm you up. You could tell the sweet nectar was doing its job, as you were feeling more awake already. You thanked the Lord for coffee.

But you cursed him out the very next second, because you felt someone sitting next to you and you froze, your entire body stiffening. It wasn’t nice company.

“Hello there, cowpoke!” The mustached man roared, sending a wave of pain directly to your already aching temples.

“Micah… not now” you begged, features scrunched up in pain. Turning away from him, you downed the rest of the coffee in silence.

But you knew Micah. He wasn’t resisting the opportunity to have his fun with you in one of your rare vulnerable moments. He spun you around rudely, and grinned under his blonde stache when you recoiled and slapped his filthy hands away.

“Geez, does the liquor at least make you gentler? I’d have to ask Mr. Morgan about that!” he sneered loudly, prompting you to look around, alarmed.

“What do you want?” you hissed, moving in closer to shush him. Micah’s expression relaxed.

“Me? Oh, nothing, nothing at all!” he got up and paced in front of you, grabbing his belt. “If you want the whole camp knowing what you got up to, that is.”

His stupid, cocky smile made you want to punch it off his face, but you tried to keep your composure. Micah was Dutch’s second in command now, you didn’t think it smart to attack him like that. Inside, anger was boiling in your chest, filling your gaze with venom. The mere thought of him knowing what you did (something that was nebulous even to you, and so very private) made your skin crawl. Was he in Valentine too yesterday? Did he spy on y’all?

The man approached you, lowering his voice condescendingly. This would stay between the two of you, if… you did something for him. You were sitting there, trying to interpret his ominous request, you heart beating steadily faster as you felt cornered by this damned fool.

“What is it?” you sighed, wondering if being blackmailed by Micah was worth it, if it meant your foolish actions remained concealed.

This time, he got so close you could feel his foul breath on your nose. You grimaced and tried to suppress a gag. Man, he was disgusting, both inside and out. He cupped your chin, squeezing it firmly. He had just parted his lips to speak when you heard loud, thundering footsteps get closer and closer to your position. Next thing you knew, Micah was tumbling backwards, narrowly avoiding the campfire.

“DON’TCHA DARE TOUCH ‘EM, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

You tilted your head upwards in shock. There he was, the man you spent the night with; Arthur Morgan, a man you knew for years and who you never saw lose his temper was there, fists clenched and a murderous rage obscuring his usually sweet blue eyes. A man you had witnessed murder, steal and intimidate, yet his violence always felt calculated, measured in a way, but not this time.

And it was gone in seconds. He turned to you, his fury fizzled away into a worried expression as he asked you if you were okay. You nodded, dazed, still processing what had happened.

You both glanced at Micah, who was still trying to regain his balance after the fall, wiping away the mud and grass from his pants. His expression was his usual, douchy one, but you saw the genuine panic and the fear in his eyes when he was on the ground: he was scared of Arthur. It was clear as day, from the way he kept a safe distance from the both of you, his wounded ego showing. Arthur put on his intimidating gaze and scowled at him until he disappeared into his tent.

“So, what did the bastar-“ he interrupted himself, noticing something on your neck. There it was again, the rage. You saw his face become completely red with anger as he gently hovered his fingers on your bruise, the contrast between the two baffling. You tried to think of some words to defuse him, but before you had a chance to say anything, he shot up and started yelling at the whole camp.

“Okay, which one of ya bastards did this?! Jus’ lemme find out…” Arthur snarled, quite literally growling the threat like a rabid animal. He frantically looked around for the culprit, only finding tired eyes and people still in their night clothes blinking at him, incredulous and concerned at his unusual display of anger.

“Arthur…” you tried to get his attention, but his mind was miles away from you. He wanted justice for whoever dared to put their filthy hands on your precious skin. He was pacing menacingly, glaring at the other men in the gang.

“Come out, ya goddamn coward!!” he shouted, spelling the word “goddamn” even more harshly and slowly than usual. Boy, was he angry… he was starting to scare you, too. You sat there, frozen, pondering what to do.

Javier, Sean and Bill exchanged confused looks, standing each in front of their tents. Sean was the only one who darted a look at you, and you widened your eyes at him, shaking your head in disbelief. But Arthur interpreted that differently and marched towards the Irishman threateningly.

“I’m watching you, boah” he threatened, but Sean was difficult to intimidate, and kept that dumb smirk on his face. The older man grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, but Sean assured him he didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Leave the boy alone, Arthur” Javier intervened in his usual pacifying tone. “Besides, wasn’t you out with them last night?”

Arthur kept his grip on Sean, but his expression softened a bit, his scrunched eyebrows trying to remember the events of last night. Little by little, it came back to him: you had been out on a mission, robbing a stagecoach, and then… he vaguely recalled stopping at the saloon in Valentine.

He let go of the kid and you sighed in relief. You approached him, grabbed his arm and walked him to the edge of camp, where you two could have a private conversation.

You thought you were hiding it well, but Arthur still noticed the fright in your eyes. He realized he had gone too far.

“I’m so sorry I scared ya, darlin’…” he apologized, his tone softer than you’ve ever heard it, his eyes firmly on his feet. “That was way outta line… it’s jus’…” he gestured aimlessly, struggling to find the words.

You took one of his hands in yours, gently kissing his bruised knuckles. You got was he was trying to say. When it came to you, all rationality went out of the window. He was sweet on you for a while now, and he was incredibly protective… this was just the first time you’d seen his feelings in action.

“I know. If someone hurt you, I’d probably do the same” you said gently, and his face relaxed into a smile.

You pointed at your neck, smiling in amusement. “This, however? All you.” you laughed, and then cracked up some more at Arthur’s sheer panic.

“Did… did I hurtcha?!” he gasped. He couldn’t stand the idea, not even for a second. It would destroy him if it was true. He’d never forgive himself.

“No, you fool!” you elbowed him in his ribs and explained that that was no bruise. It was a love bite.

“A… what?” he repeated, blinking rapidly. He never heard of such thing. You tried to explain that when he kissed your neck, he did it so… fervently, that he left a small mark just under your jawbone.

“Oh.” His cheeks lit up in a bright, tomato red and his pupils dilated in realization. You two kissed last night? He was starting to remember now…

The stagecoach robbing went exactly as planned. Of course it did: you and Arthur were a great team, excellent criminal minds that foresee every possible outcome and handle everything expertly. You made off with quite a lot of money and jewelry, so you both decided to celebrate the successful heist with a few drinks in Valentine.

“Just a couple, we still have to go back to camp to deposit the loot” you reminded your partner, putting a coin on the counter and gesturing towards the bartender.

“Of course, no crazy business tonight” the cowboy promised, downing his first shot.

Of course, you were both full of shit. The drinks kept coming, and coming, and coming, until the next thing you remember was you waking up in Arthur’s tent, his arms wrapped around you.

And there was a room… it had a bed, so maybe it was at the saloon?

“Did… did we share a room at the saloon?!” you asked Arthur, alarmed. He was staring straight ahead, hand on his chin, as the scene revealed itself to him.

He saw your exposed neck, head tilted backwards into the pillow as he peppered kisses all over your collarbone and chest, stopping at the edge of your jawline to suck on the tender skin that bruised so quickly, so easily. He heard your moans and his name repeated over and over in delight, as you went deeper and deeper, the friction of skin against skin delicious and exasperating at the same time.

He felt breathless now, his face burning unbearably in what? Arousal? Shame? Maybe both. He didn’t dare to look you in the eye, but seeing him that flustered was enough to prove to you what had happened. You did drunkenly sleep together in that room in Smithfield’s saloon. Some recollections came back to you, making your stomach flutter and your abdomen warm with desire. You saw Arthur in his entirety, remembering his touch on your bare skin, his tongue on your neck and chest, the hair a tangled mess that covered his face. His figure revealed itself in all its vulnerability, the mask of tough outlaw crumbling to reveal a tender, passionate lover that, even in his inebriated state, made sure to put your pleasure first. You silently watched him now, trying to piece together the two sides of him: the side that you always knew, and the new one that opened up to you last night.

Arthur looked back at you, interpreting your surprise as hesitation.

“You regret that, don’tcha?” he asked, an almost imperceptible note of sadness in his tone. “I do too, in a way.”

You were not sure whether to take that as an insult. “What do you mean?”

Arthur walked towards you, taking your hands in his. He lowered his voice into a whisper that covered you in goosebumps. His expression was hard to interpret.

“I regret not making our first time special.” He rubbed his thumb on your hand lovingly, smiling at you. There they were, the eyes you always knew, those breathtaking blues you would lose yourself in every day.

You tucked a hair strand behind his ear and lingered there, caressing his scruffy cheek. Arthur leaned right into your hand, melting under your touch.

“Oh, Arthur” you smiled at him, radiant. “It was special, because it was you.” You grabbed his collar and gently pulled him closer, then put your lips on his for a brief, chaste kiss.

“Nah, I could’ve done it right for ya” he shook his head, as always rejecting the compliment. One of these days you had to make him accept one, you promised yourself.

“Now I’m curious. What would you have done differently?”

Arthur took a moment to think. “Well… for starters, I wouldn’t have been that drunk!”

You chuckled. “Then, I’d book a nice bath for the two of us, with some good wine…” as he talked, he fidgeted with the collar of your shirt, resting his hands on your chest. “Then we’d have some dinner, maybe a walk… and then we’d go back to our room, to sleep in a nice, comfortable bed.”

“That does sound nice…” you remarked, almost disappointed that it wasn’t how it actually went. “Although that’s where it did end. In that nice bed.” You joked, making the man grin. “I guess you’re right” he laughed, pulling you closer.

“Besides,” you continued, lowering your tone, “there’s always the next time, y’know…” you purred, putting a lot on emphasis on the word “next” and giving him a playful smile. Arthur’s eyes lit right up, and he licked his lips.

“S’that so? And when is that?” he asked, his voice so deep it boomed inside his chest, so filled with desire that the warmth in you lower belly returned unannounced. Before you could answer, he was kissing you again, taking his time with it. His stubble tickled your skin, so thick and rough compared to his soft lips. You put your hands around his neck, one cupping his nape as he pushed you against the tree, lost in his affection for you.

“Get a room, you two!” you both jolted at the voice, realizing you weren’t as well hidden from the group as you’d thought. You smiled, embarrassed, watching Hosea wink at you as he walked away.

“Well, there goes our little secret, Arthur” you exhaled, laughing nervously.

“A secret? Who do ya think is responsible for pairin’ us up on every damn mission?” the cowboy laughed, pointing his thumb at Hosea’s back.

“C’mon, let’s go get some breakfast, darlin’.” After placing a kiss on your forehead, Arthur took your hand as you both went back to the group, relieved to not have to hide your love anymore.

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #arthur morgan rdr2 #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x gn reader #arthur morgan fanfiction #rdr2 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #let me know what you think!#hope the link works #i will make another post for the ao3 link just in case #enjoy!!

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 4 months

Text

You’re Too Good For Me ~Larissa Weems xBrienne of Tarth

Summary— Inspired by this post made by @franouo !! “WHAT IF (in an AU) Larissa survived Marylin's atack (SHE'S ALIVE) and needs protección AND somehow Brienne shows up, maybe a portal or time travel (idk how yet) and they start this kind of dry relationship in the begging for mutual interests, like Larissa needs protección (maybe debelop panic atacks after all the trauma) and Brienne needs help to come back to Westeros and the only person who can help is Larissa because all the principal of a "Magic school" thing like Brienne says but with in the time pass they break each others walls and start falling for each other.”

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, smut, eating out, fingering, kissing, implied loss of virginity, flustering, first times, first orgasm, strangers to friends to lovers, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

By the grace of god or whatever supreme fucking being, Larissa has survived Marilyn’s nightshade poisoning. Everyone said that it had been a miracle. No one had been known to survive nightshade poisoning in the past…

Larissa, of course, was relieved to have survived. She was grateful, mostly. But part of her struggled with the fact that she had indeed died for an extended amount of time. And that she had then come back to life…

It was hard for the blonde to comprehend. The whole experience had thoroughly traumatized the principal… She couldn’t go a day without our heightened anxiety, couldn’t go a week without at least one panic attack.

As the school year came to a close, the events of that fatal night fading into the past, and all the students got sent home, Larissa was left pretty much on her own at the school, as most of the staff had gone too. There were certain responsibilities that the principal had to uphold over the summer at Nevermore, such as keeping the school in good shape for the upcoming school year.

Even though it had been weeks, Larissa felt her anxiety, and panic, and vigilance like her near death experience had occurred yesterday…

One particularly hot summer day, Larissa was making her daily rounds of the school, when she saw a shimmer of blue gleaming in the morning sun down the road from the school.

The blue figure came closer and closer, and Larissa made out the person to be some kind of knight…? The knight came through the gates and walked up to Larissa. At a closer glance, the blonde principal realized that the tall knight was in fact a lady.

“Excuse me? Can I help you…?” Larissa asked.

The woman looked breathless and confused.

“Sorry to bother you, madam… but are you Lady Weems?” Brienne asked.

Larissa was taken aback slightly by the formal title. But she kept her cool demeanor.

“I am. And you are?”

“My name is Brienne of Tarth. I have traveled far to your land to request your aid.” The blonde knight explained.

Larissa looked at the woman puzzled.

“Oh…? And what for?” She asked.

“It seems I accidentally was portaled to your land, M’Lady, and I need assistance to get back. I was told by a fellow traveler that you and your school for magic would hold answers.” Brienne breathed out.

Larissa pursed her lips and nodded slowly.

“Why don’t you come in, Brienne…?” She offered, indicating with her hand to the school.

Brienne’s eyes lit up and she nodded.

“Yes M’Lady…!”

“Larissa will do just fine, Darling.” Larissa insisted, putting her hand up and shooing Briennes formal title aside.

Brienne blushed lightly and nodded. Larissa then led the other tall blonde up to the school, through the corridors, and into her office. Larissa shut the door behind her, and indicated for Brienne to take a seat.

Brienne then spent a better part of an hour explaining how she had somehow traveled through space and time. She had been pulled through a blueish-purple glowing portal, against her will, and turned up in Vermont. After Brienne had finally finished her tarry tale, she asked the begging question,

“So, Larissa… Will you help me return to Westeros?”

Larissa smiled and nodded.

“I cannot promise anything, but I will certainly try my hardest, Darling.” She breathed out.

Brienne’s eyes sparkled with gratitude and hope.

“Thank you M’l—Larissa. How can I ever repay you…??” The knight asked.

“It’s no trouble, Darling, really I insist.”

“No please, let me return the favor…” Brienne insisted.

Larissa signed and contemplated.

“Very well. Now that you mention it…” she breathed out, “I could use your protection…”

Brienne nodded immediately.

“I understand, and you shall have it, Larissa…!” She exclaimed.

This made Lariss smile. She appreciated that Brienne hadn’t pried into why she wanted protection. And she felt grateful at the woman’s eagerness to help.

And that was how Larissa and Brienne’s mutual beneficial relationship started. Brienne was quick to move into the castle, taking one of the available staff private quarters.

The relationship at the beginning was dry and base on pure mutual interest. Larissa did her daily duties to care for Nevermore, and on the side, she back researching possible solutions for Brienne’s return.

Brienne insisted that she help the tall, blonde principal with some of the school duties. Larissa at first wouldn’t hear of it, but then the school caretaker quit on her, and she was forced to face the idea of cleaning all of Nevermore on her own until she could hire a new caretaker. So Larissa let Brienne help her by keeping the grounds clean and tidy, especially the outside.

On the days where Larissa was really riddled with anxiety and panic, Brienne was more than happy to take up more responsibility. Larissa began to trust the woman as she proved herself to be quite capable.

And slowly, the relationship between Larissa and Brienne began to shift…

Brienne and Larissa got into the habit of spending their evenings together. They would sip wine and talk the night away. It got easier and easier as the time slipped by.

“So you are a knight from where you are from?” Larissa asked the other woman, putting her feat up and relaxing in her chair after a long day.

“Mhmmm, yes Westeros…” Brienne sighed.

“That must be difficult…” Larissa sympathized.

“Dear God you have no idea…” Brienne chuckled, using humor to hide her pain and suffering.

“Tell me about it…? If you wish…” the blonde principal cooed softly.

Brienne eventually opened up to the struggle she faced as a female knight back home. She poured her heart out in vulnerability, talking about the pain and suffering she’d endured to get where she was today.

In turn and when Larissa was ready, she began opening up about her death.

“What about you…? I imagine something must have happened…” Brienne prodded, trying not to be too pushy as she knew this was a touchy subject for the other woman.

“I…” Larissa stammered, pausing and taking a deep breath, “I died.”

Brienne had assumed something traumatic must have had happened to the blonde woman, as many nights, Brienne found herself rushing to Larissa’s quarters to comfort the woman from her night terrors and panic attacks.

Soon, the two women began to develop a true bond. And now, Larissa dreaded the say when they figured out how to bring Brienne home. And Brienne dreaded the day Larissa wouldn’t want her around anymore, enough to figure it out.

On just another evening, the women were sitting in Larissa’s office. This evening, Brienne wasn’t drinking, she was too wound up.

“Everything alright, Darling…?” Larissa asked, taking a sip of her wine.

Brienne sighed.

It was bugging her. Her impending leave.

The summer was almost up, the school year would start again, and Larissa would have no time for her anymore…

“I… Simply wound too tight today it seems…” Brienne breathed out.

Larissa pursed her lips and nodded slowly.

“Anything in particular making you anxious…?” She asked.

Brienne bit her lip and looked away. Larissa sat up and placed a hand on Brienne’s thigh.

And Brienne gasped. Loud.

“Talk to me, love. Please…” Larissa pled.

Brienne gulped. Her heart began to race, and her cheeks went rosy red.

“I… don’t want to leave” she whispered in confession.

The knight looked down in sadness, not being able to meet the other woman’s gaze. She expected Larissa to condemn her or get angry.

But instead, Larissa’s one hand caresses Brienne’s thigh in calming circles, and her other hand came under to cup Brienne’s chin. Larissa moved the woman’s head to meet her gaze.

As Brienne met Larissa’s eyes, she saw sparkling orbs. They weren’t filled with anger, no… care…? understanding…? something else…??

Brienne’s breath was bated and shallow.

“Hey, it’s okay, Darling. Take a deep breath” Larissa breathed out in comfort.

And that Brienne did. She took several, before meeting Larissa’s gaze one more.

Now the blonde principal’s eye flickered away from Brienne’s gaze, down to the blue knights lips and back up. It was just for a fraction of a second, but it was clear.

“I… I don’t want you to leave either.” Larissa breathed out softly.

Their eyes were locked together, stuck in this trance, Larissa’s hands still on Brienne’s chin and thigh. Brienne bit her lip anxiously, her stomache having erupts with butterfly’s.

They were entranced by each other’s gaze, presence, being… Each blond wanted the other’s lips on their own. Now it was Brienne’s turn for her gaze to flicker down to the other woman’s lips.

Larissa took this as her cue to lean forward more, bringing the two impossibly close. Brienne instinctually leaned further forward, leaving mere centimeters in space between their lips. But it was Larissa who closed the gap, her soft, plump lips pressing into Brienne’s lips.

Brienne immediately let out a light gasp. At first Larissa thought that it wasn’t a good sign, until Brienne suddenly grasped Larissa’s upper body with both hands and tugged her closer and tight. Larissa let out a breathy groan, her lips not pressed and bruised against Brienne’s.

Larissa began exploring, letting her tongue run along the other’s lips. Brienne immediately hummed in delight, leading to the blonde principal to start nipping and putting more playfulness into the kiss.

The more hums and gasps and sighs Larissa pulled from the blonde’s lips, the more encouraged she felt to heat up the kiss, until the two of them finally had to pull away for oxygen after a solid couple of minutes of breathless kissing.

Brienne blushed and looked away, as Larissa met the her gaze.

“Was that alright…?” Larissa asked.

Brienne blushed even harder and bit her lip, nodding slowly. Her gaze returned to the other woman’s.

“Perfect” Brienne whispered.

Now it was Larissa’s turn to blush and look away. Before Larissa could look back at Brienne, the knight pressed her lips against the blonde principal’s.

The kiss reignited, this time more heated and just as passionate. It started to become sloppy, tongues intertwining and breath mingling. Moans and groans escaping both women’s mouths.

Larissa’s hand on the other woman’s right began to push up on her thigh, riding Brienne’s night gown further and further up. Her other hand found purchase behind Brienne’s neck.

Brienne’s hands then sprung for Larissa’s hips, pulling the woman practically in her lap. Larissa groaned and bucked her hips into the knights lap. Brienne’s eyes threatened to roll back.

“M-more more more…” Brienne chanted in a whimpering plea.

Larissa couldn’t deny the beautiful knight. She slid down off of the couch, and she guided Brienne to lay back on the couch. Brienne’s panting was erotic and loud, spurring Larissa on even more.

Kneeling in between Brienne’s legs and at the edge of the couch, Larissa looked up at the desperate woman.

It only now struck each woman what they were about to do.

But the exchanged glances solidified the fact that neither of them would regret it, and that they both wanted it just as bad as the other.

“Spread your legs for me, Darling…” Larissa breathed out in her sultry tone.

God Brienne felt sparks and waves of pleasure from this woman’s voice alone… She’d never felt this good before.

Brienne laid back all the way on the couch and immediately spread her legs for the blonde principal. Larissa sat herself right in front of Brienne’s core, rolling up her night gown and staring at the knights gleaming sex.

“W-what…?” Brienne stuttered, already starting to bliss out and confused as to why Larissa was merely staring.

“So pretty…” Larissa breathed out, entranced by Brienne and her dripping cunt.

Before Brienne could respond, Larissa had dove into her pussy. She wasted no time in slurping away at Brienne’s juices. Brienne’s hand jolted to Larissa’s hair, tightly grabbing her head by her pinned locks and shoving her further into her own cunt in desperation. Her other hand flew to the couch, scrunching the material in a tight fist.

“Ah ah AhhhHhH Larissa—” Brienne moaned out, her head thrown back and her eyes screwed shut.

Larissa licked through the woman’s folds, sucked and tapped her clit, bit and nipped at her inner thighs. All of this only made Brienne closer and louder. Her hold on Larissa’s hair tightened impossibly tight.

“Ah AhHhhHhhHh—!!!” Brienne cried out, her back arching and her hips jerking towards Larissa.

And when Larissa’s fingers began to circle Brienne’s entrance, and then actually entered the woman… Brienne lost it.

“God Lariss—AHHH…!!” Brienne screamed, “Faster FASTER—!!!” She begged.

The woman tore both her hands up towards her head. Larissa watched Brienne mesmerized the entire time. She added another finger and fucked her faster, fastening her lips to the woman clit. With a couple harsh sucks, Brienne snapped.

Brienne shed jolted back as she screamed through her orgasm. Her back arched even further, her body pulsed. She saw stars and her walls clenched hard around Larissa’s fingers.

“AH AH AH ahhh AhhhHhHH—!!” Brienne moaned and cried out.

Larissa watched jaw dropped as she fingered the woman through her orgasm.

She’d never seen anything so beautiful…

Once her cunt had stopped pulsating and clenching, Larissa slowly removed her digits. She just looked up at Brienne speechless.

Eventually, Brienne lowered her hands to reveal her hard blush.

“S-sorry… mm was too loud…” Brienne murmured.

Larissa shook her head with an open mouth. She promptly shut her mouth upon realizing how long she’d kept it open.

“No no, I… Was…. Was I that good..??” She breathlessly reassured her.

Brienne blushed furiously.

“I… I’d never… never you know…” Brienne whispered.

Larissa’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped again.

“Oh Lord, I didn’t even ask. I am so sorry, Darling—” the blonde principal began rambling.

But she was cut off by Brienne lunging forward, taking Larissa face in her hands, and smashing her lips against hers. She pulled away after a moment, and the other woman had her answer.

Brienne was beaming and Larissa couldn’t help the little smirk on her face.

“Perhaps a bath…” Larissa suggested softly.

“Don’t you…?” Brienne asked, concerned that Larissa hadn’t been helped.

But Larissa shook her head.

“Later. You need to be taken care of first, Darling.” She insisted.

Brienne blushed furiously yet again, before happily being led by Larissa to her private bathroom to take a bath together.

~~~

Brienne of Tarth Masterlist

Larissa Weems Masterlist

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doki-doki-imagines · 10 months

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We all need Reo and Nagi in the form of animals-

Seishiro Nagi - Blue chow chow -You didn't expect to be woken up at 7 a.m. by a loud knocking at your door, so still grumpy you walk towards the sound to understand who dared to wake you up so early on your free day. -It is Reo, mask and gloves on and with a ball of blue fluff in his hands with his equally blue tongue sticking out. "Long story, this is Nagi, I'd take care of him but I'm allergic to dogs. Tomorrow everything should be fine-" the purple hair boy pushes the dog in your arms "take good care of him, we have a match soon" The door slammed at your face, stuck at your place with a ball of fluff in your hands. -Luckily Seishiro habits didn't change in his dog form, he slept, eat, sat on your lap, half of the morning was spent like that; rinse and repeat. -"Ohh look there is a new event! Can't wait to get the new characters." You smile at your phone. -What you didn't see was Seishiro raising his head from your lap, ears alert. -"Ehi ouch! Don't bite me- not even my hoodie, Seishiro!" He starts to pull on your clothes, your hoodie or your pants to make him follow towards…his phone in your bedroom? Did Seishiro forget it when he visited you yesterday? -"I have enough of my events I don't wanna-" He closes the door. You look down at him. "For once I'm way taller than you, you can't scare-" He barks. He dares to bark at you. He is more fur than voice and still dared to look dangerous to you. Your falls on your knees, a pain where your heart is placed; he is too cute for this world. -You end up doing his games till you pass out on the couch, being able to move just for snack and bathroom breaks was exhausting. -"(Y/n) is morning wake up, c'mon I can't reach my phone" It wasn't Seishiro's voice to wake you up, but his weight on your body, but you were too tired to pull him off even if your lungs screamed for a break. "Take your damn phone and let me sleep Seishiro" He doesn't reply, phone in his hand already checking his online ranking. "You made me lose an event" Your eyes open wide "What? I didn't even pee for your damn game-" You can't finish the phrase, his index finger pressed on your lips. "No excuses, time to be punished for your misdeeds." Your eyes would have come out in a typical cartoonish style. This egoist, always getting what he wanted, was a real villain even with fluffy blue ears on top of his cloud-white hair.

Mikage Reo - Red fox -It's Ba-ya that wakes you up, your phone loudly ringing, sun just rising. "(Y/n)-san, sorry to bother you early in the morning, but we have a problem." "A problem? Is Reo fine?" "More or less, but it's easier to explain if we came to your house, is it fine?" "No problem, see you here." -That's how you find yourself sitting on your couch with a red fox with some purple stripe resting on your lap -"Mikage corporation developed a new system so you'll understand what he is saying to you. I wouldn't have bothered, but the young master asked for your company." "Strange since yesterday he shouted at me something along the 'you are insufferable fuck off' lines" Ba-ya looks down, thinking the exact words to tell you next to sugar the pill. You scoff interrupting her train of thoughts "Don't worry, I'll take care of him". -He isn't as extrovert as usual, still knowing what happened the previous day was exaggerated, but after petting his thick fur for a while you got tired. "Wanna monetize this situation Reo?" His ears twitch, looking at you straight in the eyes. "What's your idea?" The voice is robotic and way too high, but you suppose that even Mikage corporation couldn't make a perfectly working translator. -The amount of photos you posted was disgusting but he was too cute to let this occasion go, keeping some of them for the months to come. -Reo obviously loved the idea, posing like a model, searching for the best angles that would make people scream "Cute~" all over the world. "Reo you are the cutest." "Like always, isn't it?" He says, pulling his head up, nose up in the air, you could imagine Reo would have even brushed off his hair in typical film style if he still had his hands.

-"Reo you are already a star, 16k likes in 3 hours better than when you are human." "Are you saying I'm cuter a fox?" "…" "Hey!" -Your mood improve drastically, who would have thought that your boyfriend turning into a fox was going to be this good? -You fall asleep next to each other on the sofa, his big tails tickling your chin. -"Hey, sleepy head I'm back to normal~" Your boyfriend, finally back to normal is laying on your chest, purple eyes sparkling, fox ears and tail still present, thick tail swinging back and forth. "Don't I look the best? Let's shoot some photos 'till I'm like this." He says phone already in his hand. "But later it is your turn to model for me, wanna grasp all your cuteness darling~"

#bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk imagines #blue lock imagines #nagi seishiro #nagi seishiro x reader #reo mikage #reo mikage x reader #bllk x you #blue lock x you #bllk x y/n #blue lock x y/n #nagi seishiro x you #reo mikage x you

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pikatrainer99 · 5 months

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So...I figured I should probably elaborate on Kieran after my last reblog so you all get where I'm coming from with my stance on him...

(Basically the TLDR of this post is this: I like Kieran much better when he's like this, look how happy he is, it's adorable 🥺)

(He legit terrifies me when he's like this though...😖)

My thoughts on him changed drastically throughout my playthrough of the DLC multiple times...and I'm gonna explain why.

First, when I first met him in the Teal Mask, I thought he was an adorkable socially awkward shy bean and I loved him because I'm very much the same way. Being (what seemed to me like) his first friend reminded me of how much of my childhood I spent friendless and the joy I felt at finally having one friend back in my last year of elementary school. As the Teal Mask story went on though, Kieran started to change...and I didn't know how to feel about the direction his character was headed...because it triggered traumatic memories in me...memories of that friend I had finally made...well...one day suddenly revealing that the friendship was never genuine and that they hated me the whole time, and they betrayed me...in a HARD-HITTING WAY...completely out of the blue, too...I had no idea what was happening with them or what I had done to deserve that awful treatment, but it didn't matter because I still got that treatment. I'm not going to go into the details because it's still terrifying to think about...but it was BAD...bad enough that I have severe PTSD because of this person. So, as you might expect from what I just told you, the way Kieran just suddenly turned on me in the Teal Mask story really made me have to make sure to use my coping skills and calming strategies in order to not have a PANIC ATTACK over a VIDEO GAME. And the ending of the Teal Mask where Kieran seemed to HATE me made me feel really scared for the Indigo Disk story and I tried my best to not think about it too much until it came out because I always felt nauseous if I thought about it. And even when it came out it took me a long time to be able to bring myself to finally play it... Kieran's new look reminded me even more of my real life friend turned bully I mentioned above, who also changed their look and even dyed their hair to a similar purple-ish color after the whole incident (yes I know Kieran didn't dye his hair, it's naturally purple-ish underneath, but my point still stands, it was similar enough to trigger me further), and I had a panic attack over it when I saw it in the trailer before the Indigo Disk came out. My thoughts were basically 'This is middle school all over again...' and I was not looking forward to facing the memories again, it was making me feel more and more anxious and sick as each day passed and it got closer to the release of the Indigo Disk. I also had more and more nightmares about that real life person which made me more and more tired and irritable, so that was not fun either. But...I knew I had to play it eventually, so to prepare myself for my own playthrough, I decided to prepare myself both physically and mentally by watching other people's playthroughs of the story first...multiple times. You have no idea how relieved I was when I found out that the story had a happy ending and Kieran was able to snap out of it, feel serious remorse, and resolve to change his ways and make everything right again. As you can probably guess from how visceral my reactions to this entire thing were, that did NOT happen with my real life friend turned bully...I'm pretty sure that individual still hates my guts to this day and I still to this day have absolutely NO CLUE what I did to make them turn on me so viciously like that. Anyway, I watched probably ten or twelve playthroughs on YouTube before I finally worked up the courage to play it myself. I finally finished it yesterday and I am glad that everything ended all well and good. I am so relieved and I am back to being a Kieran fan again now that he is back to his normal adorkable self. Now I only have the epilogue left to do in Violet and then I have to go through the entire DLC again in Scarlet...but I think I'll be fine for the DLC playthrough in Scarlet now that I've experienced everything in Violet.

So yeah, lots of complicated emotions and visceral reactions and stuff with my view of this fictional video game character...but I couldn't help it since he was a legit PTSD trigger for me during the last bit of the Teal Mask and the majority of the Indigo Disk...at least he's back to normal now though.

Anyway, what are you guys' thoughts on Kieran? How did you react throughout his arc? Which look do you like better on him, hair up or down? Feel free to let me know your thoughts on Kieran in the comments below!

#pokemon #pokemon sv #the teal mask #the indigo disk #kieran #this character is complex and i like that pokemon is making more complex characters...#...but kieran legit TERRIFIED me for a while #and i wanted to explain my thoughts and feelings on this subject and character #kinda long post #pika talks

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levans44 · 1 year

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chapter 5 - tomato soup, garlic bread and merlot

“You sure I can’t help you with anything?” Steve called over for the 100th time. After his sudden arrival, she had thrusted a piping hot cup of chamomile in his hands, and made him sit in the corner booth, her favorite spot, the one where they had sat discussing Marvin Gaye munching on chocolate chip cookies.

Tomato soup, warm garlic bread, and two glasses of some cheap grocery-shop Merlot were on the menu tonight. She kept the soup in a small pantry in the backroom, made the bread herself (obviously), and the wine had been more for baking than drinking, but she figured it couldn’t hurt to break it out for an emergency like this (though she’d have to buy another replacement bottle for her killer red wine chocolate cake).

“Do you drink?” She called from behind the counter. Somehow, she’d always imagined Captain America to be abstinent from alcohol, not that she had spent that much time thinking about him at all.

“Sure.” He called. She frowned at the vague response, but poured two generous glasses anyway, into two red-and-green Christmas mugs. Very classy.

“Sorry, I don’t have any wine glasses but…” she said, walking over to the booth and setting the cups down. “…what did you mean ‘sure’?”

“Oh well, alcohol doesn’t really… affect me?

“Huh” she frowned, before realizing.

“Oh, right you’re… enhanced.”

She laughed at the grimace on his face at the word, setting down some napkins and squaring the lines up — if this was gonna be their first date (is that what this was?), she was sure as hell gonna try her best to set the table nicely.

“So, you can’t get drunk or anything?”

Steve shook his head.

“Jeez, tough way to live.” She remarked, sliding into a spot in the booth next to him.

“It’s not so bad” he smiled, moving to make room for her.

“You can take off the hood, you know. No one’s gonna see ya” She pointed to the door where she had turned the ‘open’ sign over.

He did, rather sheepishly, bruised knuckles raising to pull his cover down. She could see his face in the full light now, and as her eyes trailed up, his hair caught her attention: still damp at the edges, flat where it’s been pressed down by the hoodie in the back. Definitely not the proper, trim, slicked-back Captain American look. But she decidedly liked this version of him more.

He ducked his head, running a hand through his hair like he was embarrassed to be seen as he was.

“Cheers” Smiling, she suddenly reached for her wine mug, the one that read ‘oh deer, Christmas is here’ in red sparkly letters, and lifted it up in his direction

Steve frowned, smiling, and reaching for his own. “For what?”

She stared at him, incredulous.

“Oh, I don’t know Steve, maybe for saving us all, yet again? At least that’s what I assumed you’ve been doing.”

Steve smiled, his silence confirming her guess.

“But hey, if you’ve got another side job I don’t know about, that’s cool too.”

He chuckled, and it felt good to hear him laugh, watch his eyes crinkling up in that endearing way.

“Thanks” Steve glanced down to a spot on the table before looking back up, raising his mug higher.

“And a toast to you too.”

“For what?”

“For this amazingly delicious garlic bread,” Oh, if only he knew what he was doing to her.

“… and for taking the first step, giving me your number.”

She grinned, but said nothing as she clinked her mug with his, something reminiscent of pride and pure adoration making her chest feel all fuzzy.

They dined in relative silence, clinks of silverware interspersed with brief moments of eye-contact and the occasional smile.

As her third cup of Merlot trickled into her mug, she could feel the warm effects of alcohol settle in her stomach, her cheeks tinted pink. Her body swayed involuntarily to the song flowing from the overhead speakers, Yesterday by the Beatles. ‘Rainy Day Blues’ was the name of the playlist, she recalled.

“Nice shiner” she quipped, breaking the silence, and pointed to the purple bruise blooming under his left eye, above the cut on his cheek.

“Thanks” he mused, biting around some bread.

She bit her lip, taking another quiet sip of her wine. “How’s Tony doing?”

She saw his face darken for a brief moment before he swallowed, nodding. “He’s alright. Nothing too serious.”

“And are you… are you okay?” He looked up at the question, eyes conveying an emotion she couldn’t quite decipher. For a brief moment, he looked like he wanted to say something, but before he could, he quickly broke eye-contact, returning his attention back to his bowl of soup. He nodded, clearing his throat.

“Yeah, yeah. Nothin’ too bad.”

She bit her lip, scooting a bit closer. “Steve, I…” She didn’t know what to say — how could someone like her begin to fathom the troubles of someone like him?

“Y-you can talk to me about it, if you’d like.”

A few moments passed as she stayed silent, carefully surveying Steve’s reaction. To her surprise, she saw him start to smile, eyes still fixed on the table in front of him.

“I thought about you the whole time. Coming back here-” he glanced up, gesturing around the cafe “-that’s kinda the only thing I’ve been thinking about since we got back.”

She remained silent, feeling her body go still, and focused on the way Steve’s shoulders rose and fell with each breath.

“I’m sorry I haven’t always been as… direct as I wanted to be.” He let out a bitter chuckle. “Guess I have a habit of waiting too long.”

She frowned, shaking her head. She wanted to pull him in, give him a hug, tell him he hadn’t ruined anything, tell him that they can take it as slow as he wants to. And maybe she would have done all of that, if his next words didn’t suck all the air from her lungs.

“But during these past few weeks I realized that I can’t afford to wait. Not for…” he sucked in a breath.

“…not with you.”

As the words left his mouth, she froze, breath halting in the back of her throat.

His blue eyes bore into hers, and she finally saw him.

Steve had never been who she assumed he was. Not the revered hero parading around in a star-spangled outfit. Not the solemn leader commanding the universe’s saviors into victory. Not even the shy guy who visits her for coffees and cookies.

No, this was Steve. A man who spent his whole life bruised and hurting, not because he went out looking for fights, but because he just couldn’t walk away from ones that needed to be fought. Someone who wouldn’t hesitate to put his life on the line for a stranger, but never gave into his own needs because the very thought of vulnerability, the thought of losing one more thing in his life, was terrifying. As a renewed sense of adoration washed over her like goosebumps, she felt any remaining doubt wilt away.

She tried to vocalize those thoughts, let him know he didn’t have to suffer alone, but found that when she opened her mouth, no sound came out.

Registering her silent reaction, realization flashed across his face at what he had said. He shook his head, eyes closing shut, wincing in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, I-“

And before she knew it, she was leaning in to close the gap between their lips. She felt Steve tense, before his eyes fluttered shut against her cheeks, letting her lips press firmly against his. He tasted faintly of wine, smelled a little like the rain, and felt a lot like heaven.

She scooted closer, and as her lips shifted against his, the added pressure on his split lip made him wince.

She immediately pulled back. “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s okay” He whispered, shaking his head hurriedly before he leaned back in, hand cupping the side of her face as he pulled her in even closer, right shoulder pressing against her left.

She sighed into the kiss, resting her hand on the arm framing her profile.

When she pulled back, she felt like she could melt all over again at the way he was looking at her. Like she had just gone up into space, fought off all the aliens standing in her way, and hung the moon. Just for him.

And as a new song started to pick up in the background, she couldn’t fight off the feeling that maybe, just maybe, they were meant to be, cliche be damned.

The two of them stared at each other, wide-eyed and incredulous.

“Is this…?”

She nodded, letting out a loud laugh. Grabbed both of his hands, she dragging him out of the booth.

“Come on, this is our song!”

“Wai-“ Before Steve could register what was happening, she had him trapped in the small opening between the door and the register — their own little dance floor.

Grinning up excitedly, she threw her arms around his neck, his hands resting on her waist. Before either of them knew it, they were slow-dancing across the floor of her cafe, swaying to the beat of If I Should Die Tonight.

Steve took a second to relax, and when he did he was surprisingly graceful for a 6-foot-something giant, leaning into the step with ease.

He stared down at her with an amused smile, and she avoided his gaze by digging her head into the fabric of his hoodie, faint scent of cologne, and her eyes fluttered shut.

“I gotta have you know,” Steve started, voice rumbling deep in his chest. His hands were resting gently on her lower back, radiating warmth even through her thick cardigan.

“I’m a terrible dancer.”

She shrugged, smiling, her eyes still closed, thanking the Merlot for giving her the added courage.

“…and the fractured ankle isn’t helping a whole lot either.”

She gasped, eyes popping open as she pulled back abruptly, though his hands still remained on her waist. “You broke your ankle?”

He laughed, waving off the horrified look on her face. “It’s fine. It’ll heal in a couple of days.”

If it hurt to stand on it, he didn’t show any sign of it, only pulling her in tighter. She shook her head, resting her head back on his chest and mumbled into his shirt “you’re ridiculous.”

They stayed like that for a while, just swaying with each other, before she broke the silence with a quiet question.

“How’d you get so hurt?” She would never admit it to herself, but seeing Steve like that made her the tiniest bit upset, no matter how routine this was for him.

He sucked in a breath, tutting jokingly. “Don’t think I’m allowed to tell you that. Classified information.”

She smiled, quipping back “Oh yeah? Sure you didn’t just trip over a rock?”

He chuckled, pulling back slightly as she looked up.

In the lines around his eyes she found an immeasurable amount of adoration, mixed with a hint of pained melancholy that she felt was a conversation for another time.

As he leaned down to capture her lips once again in a tender gesture, she felt the frigid air melt around them, keeping the rain and cold at bay, and finally began to understand the lines of her new favorite song.

How many eyes Have seen their dream? How many arms Have felt their dream? How many hearts, baby Have felt their world stand still?

(cap)puccino, w/ milk and sugar masterlist

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silentwillowwhisperer · 1 year

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Guys. Yes, s8 was a pretty trash ending. Buuuut, they gave us Kosmo! My baby! And again, the end scenes were really horrible, (mostly for Lance) but OH MY GOSH have you SEEN how BIG Kosmo is??? THERE'S SO MUCH FLOOF!!!!!

I also want to say that I am incredibly upset that yesterday's post was actually posted exactly at 12AM, and therefore my daily posting streak is broken. I'm pretty salty right now. Keith in this post is me right now.

Anyway, this is on the Atlas, so it includes the MFE fighters and crew.

--------------------------------------------

Kosmo is absolutely the best boy.

Most of the time.

Right now, he is a demon. You see, he is the most obedient canine in existence, and is the sweetest puppy you'll ever meet, but he HATES baths.

He'll gladly swim through a swamp, or run around in rain that makes him smell like an odd mixture of lavender and socks.

But he HATES baths.

And when Keith tries to wash him, all Hell breaks loose.

It's a fairly calm day, at least compared to the rest of their time spent in space.

They came back a few hours ago from a planet entirely covered in marshes.

Kosmo, as usual was a great help, but the last time anyone saw Keith, the guy was chasing his wolf all over the Atlas.

The paladins and MFE fighters are trying to get to know each other better by playing 21 questions.

Hunk is in the middle of gushing about yeast with Kincade when Keith bursts in.

"Where is that DAMN DOG?"

Lance arches an eyebrow so high it flies right out of the ship and into the land of skepticism.

"Really, Keith? It's been hours since we got back. You can take down a six foot extremist purple (deformed) space cat, but you can't catch a wolf?"

Keith makes a face that almost looks like pout.

"Well, I would have caught him by now if he wasn't trying to MURDER me! So far I have been attacked by a training gladiator set on the absolute HIGHEST level, ejected into space, face planet in Collen's poop-fertilizer, gotten my hand set on fire thanks to a stove that randomly turned on, ran into SEVEN doorways, and knocked out by those gas samples we retrieved from that weird planet we visited the other day. KOSMO IS OUT TO GET ME. I just want to clean his goddamn floof!"

"Did you just say floof?" Pidge comments.

"THAT'S what you got from my whole rant? REALLY?"

Keith looks like he's about to continue his rant, when his eyes widen and his mouth presses into a firm line.

Everyone follows his gaze to where a glowing blue tail is peeking out from behind the couch.

Without any warning, Keith lunges towards it with his whole body. Like, he genuinely throws himself at it.

For a second, it looks like he's going to land on top of Kosmo and finally be able to bathe the wolf.

This, however is not the case.

Kosmo teleports out at the last second, causing Keith to land sprawled out across the floor with a painful sounding thump. That's most definitely gonna leave a mark.

Keith groans loudly.

He flips over so that he's laying on his back, but stays down.

Lifting his head just enough to look in front of him, he sees that Kosmo, the traitorous wolf, has trotted over to sit directly next to Lance.

And Lance, the traitorous paladin, makes no move to grab him.

Keith flips them both off. Kosmo can stay dirty. He'll suffer the consequences when those wicked thorns in his fur stab him while he sleeps. No, it's not petty. Okay, so it's a little petty, but Keith is ready to stoop lower than dirt at this point.

Nicknames for Kosmo (all by Lance):

Kosmic slushie

Komic book

Karrot cake

Wolfie

BKFF (Best Kosmic Wolfie Friend)

BFW (Big Friendly Wolf)

The Beast (Lance is Beauty, obviously) (though Kosmo and Keith kind of share that one. It's Lance's logic, don't question it. That's Keith's job.)

The Kosmopolitan museum

Komic Sans

The Kute Kosmic Kritter

The amount of red lines that are under these nicknames is quite annoying.

#kosmo #kosmo vld #voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #keith kogane #lance mcclain #tawny post

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sagsunscorpmooncancerrising · 13 days

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I watched a video a few days ago from the first real vacation I ever took. It is a minute-long clip I used to marvel at, a time-lapse I propped my phone up in a sandbank to capture. In it I wander into the frame, plop down on the beach with my back to camera and stare at the horizon. The sky transitions from blue to orange, bright purple to pink.

Seeing this video used to bring me peace. Now all I can see is how minuscule I appear to be in comparison to the ocean before me. The tide rolls in and out ferociously and it's like the waves are screaming “we've been here forever and we will remain here forever and you're lucky we didn't swallow you when you dared get this close on your first big girl vacation at age 17"

My dad’s house boasts a barren interior as do most of the homes of men who go through a divorce in their mid forties. When I was there yesterday I noticed a self help book on the side table. Strange, I thought, for a man who has proudly never read a single book in his life.

Later on I went to my mom's. Her partner hates clutter, so a few years back she got rid of the entire catalog of books she spent the duration of my childhood enmeshed in. She hasn't been much of a reader since. I was taken by the moment of synchronicity when I looked to her otherwise empty bookshelf and saw the same book my dad was reading.

“Loving it,” she said, noticing me noticing it. “You can borrow when I'm done if you want?”

I do not.

When the door flew off that Alaskan Airlines Boeing earlier this year I was a week out from a trip out West and I experienced my first ever bout of flight anxiety. Back when I wanted to die, I thought going out on a plane would be kind of glamorous. I used to feel spiritual up there in the sky and accept my demise in a cool, dramatic way. Scarier than a plane door coming off mid-flight is my realization that I’ve always been afraid of having a life I love, because that would mean that the thing I love is finite and the things that bring me joy will be over. I can only wrap my head around my own mortality should it be tied to a life of misery. I think that now, at 26, I carry the burden of liking life more than I did at 17. There’s much more that can slip away from me now.

I used to say I didn’t like Neil Young, but yesterday his CD was playing in the car and thank God I had my big sunglasses on because I couldn't stop myself from crying. We zoomed past the Burger King parking lot where I saw an older gentleman attempting to balance three large pops in a tray while trying to get the door to his blue sedan open. It struck me then that we are really all living this life for the first time.

I’ve always shied away from writing because

it hurts my fingers to hold a pen, and

I've never allowed myself to believe that my thoughts are valuable enough to be put down on paper

As you can see, I no longer care and am writing regardless

#writing #blog #blog post #personal #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writing help #writing heals #personal essay #essay writing #essay

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sakurachan7734 · 2 months

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Teenage rebellion

Chapter 6: sneaking out to run around in the snow

April 20th 2024 at midnight Jackson was laying on its bed bored out of its mind

Jackson pov

It’s boring in this rotten old cabin but my dads say I have to stay here for my safety from very bad people trying to hurt us and probably try to kill us well that’s what papa said they tried to do to him but the snow and the ice look pretty and I want to run around and play but my dads are in the the pocket dimension doing something so they probably won’t notice I’ll be gone for a few minutes or hours so I’ll be fine

Jackson looks outside its room to see everyone there before it snuck out of its room through the window and started running around and rolling around in the snow until it found a cave full of what looked to be blue and purple ice crystals with a frozen lake but it was covered in blood

Jackson: wow.… this is beautiful I should probably see what this looks in the daytime

Jackson decided to go inside the cave and slide around on the ice laughing having a good time but then it noticed a bunch of dismembered body parts and the sentence “I’m so sorry” written all over the walls in blood

Jackson: this must have been where papa and dad stayed in before they found the cabin

Jackson runs around and sliding on the ice some more until it heard something and runs far in the mountains but it made sure to know how to get back home Jackson wandered around and stops when it finds a good spot to play and roll around in the snow it spent a couple hours just running around until it was starting to become daytime so it start running back home good thing it’s the weekend so it didn’t have to worry about school the next day

The next day

Jackson: hay I found a cave yesterday

Max: where?

Jackson: in the mountains but there is a lot of blood and rip up body parts

Max: really?

Jackson: yea you want to see?

Max: hell yea!

A few hours later max and Jackson go to the mountains

Max: so how did you find this cave?

Jackson: I was running around and then I found it

Max: did dad and papa stay in a cave before they found the cabin?

Jackson: yea and I think that was the cave I found because there was some of dads goo when I got there

Max: are you sure it wasn’t from you?

Jackson: yes

Max: ok is that why you were out of the house for a long time?

Jackson: yea i ran around on the ice

Max: did you fall on your a$$ a lot?

Jackson: no I didn’t anyway we are almost there

Max: ok

Jackson and l max get to the cave and look in

Max: whoa you were right this is pretty

Jackson: I told you

Max:* starts running onto the ice* race you!

Jackson:* starts chasing after max* hay no fair!

They chase each other around the cave for a few minutes until max falls into a hole full of water

Jackson:* starts laughing*

Max:* climbs out the hole* hay it’s not funny!

Jackson:* laughing* I’m sorry

Max:* grabs Jackson’s arm and pulls throws it into the water* how do you like that?!!

Jackson: hay your the one who fell in first dumb a$$

Max: shut up

Jackson:* climbs out of the water* we should probably get home soon

Max: why? We just got here

Jackson: dad and papa are going to get worried

Max: ok

Max and Jackson run around more than start walking home

Max: so are you and your friends done doing stupid sh!t?

Jackson: nope!

Max: called it

Jackson: what it’s fun

Max: then why can’t I join in?

Jackson: because if we get caught, we can get in trouble

Max: we have gotten in trouble before

Jackson: I know but I don’t want to lecture from Papa about getting caught by police

Max: ok understandable but how are your partners?

Jackson: they are fine we are going on a date tomorrow

Max: nice where?

Jackson: to a opera that Aristotle is performing at

Max: ohh that sounds fun what song?

Jackson: something called O Fortuna

Max: Aristotle knows how to speak Medieval Latin?

Jackson: yea there’s a lot of things I don’t know a lot about Aristotle and they keep surprising me every time

Max: I see why you love them

Jackson: yea..

Max and Jackson make if back to the cabin

Lanky: where did you to go?!

Jackson: we went out for a walk

Lanky: without telling us?

Jackson: sorry I forgot to

Lanky: I know you guys want to explore some but if are going far into the mountains just let us know

Jackson: ok papa it’s just really boring in this cabin

Lanky: me and your father understand that, sweetheart but it’s for our safety

Jackson: I know

Jackson goes up to its room to lay down for a little bit and it gets a call from Aristotle

Jackson:* answers* yes?

Aristotle: did you lose the tickets I gave you?

Jackson: no why?

Aristotle: it’s because Melissa lost her ticket

Jackson: oh did she find it?

Aristotle: yes she did but I just wanted to make sure no one else lost their tickets

Jackson: yea nope i’m keeping it In my drawer

Aristotle: that’s good I’m excited that you all are coming to my performance

Jackson: yea me too

End of chapter

(Melissa will be back in her Charlie body in the next two chapters)

#scp foundation #scp #scp containment breach #scp fan child #scp 096

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somediyprojects · 10 months

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Mirabilia Designs #112: Charlotte and Moon Glow WIP stitched by shibadesignsca. Patterns designed by Nora Corbett.

“Had a large birthday finish yesterday on Mirabilia's Charlotte 🥳. I changed her dress to blue, skin to look less pink and her hair to a darker brown. I love how she turned out. This is the official unofficial SAL for the Queen City Stitch Retreat. Spent the rest of the day on Moon Glow - got all that purple vines/stems done on the right. So very happy with my progress. She’ll be my next Mira/Nora focus to get completed.”

#cross stitch #inspo #x #mirabilia designs #nora corbett #conversion

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jmrothwell · 2 years

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Prompt: Sunburn

Slices of Summer(Four): A look at the band’s first summer together. Can they figure out boundaries, communication, visibility, among other things and still enjoy their summer?

First; Prev Next

__________

Reggie was uncomfortably laying down on the studio couch. His skin felt too tight over his muscles and bones, and like it was being held in place by millions of tiny needles; he even felt a minor throbbing at the back of his head.. Despite wearing a tank top and shorts he still felt way too hot. He felt a whine escape his throat. He did not miss this.

“How could this even happen?” That was Alex’s voice, high and tight. Reggie winced, but kept his eyes closed, he was trying his best to keep his mind off the pain. Tried to think of anything else. His mind was not cooperating. The nearby conversation probably wasn’t helping.

“I didn’t even think ghosts could get sunburnt” Julie’s concern at least came out in a whisper.

“Neither did we” Luke meanwhile never understood the concept of volume control. Reggie groaned as he finally opened his eyes, he didn’t keep them open. Damn sun was too bright. Of course if he’d gotten sunburnt this bad, the first time in years he had, he’d also be suffering some heat exhaustion symptoms. What kind of lousy luck was that? At least he wasn’t nauseous, he would be happy to never feel that particular sensation ever again.

“But why now? I know Reg has snuck out to the beach plenty before yesterday and this has never happened before.” Alex could really join Luke on those volume control lessons.

“Guess it’s part of the price to pay to be fully visible” Reggie groaned out.

It had happened a couple hours into their beach day. Julie had finally decided to risk going and changing into her suit. A purple halter bikini with some red and blue plaid short shorts. He and Luke were admittedly staring dumbly a her while she walked back from the changing room, when a stranger stopped just off to his left looking down at him.

Well no it couldn’t have been at him, it was probably more towards Julies stuff around him. However, the stranger spoke and was looking right at Reggie, “Hey man, do you need some sunscreen? You’re looking a little pink.”

“What?” It was all Reggie could articulate. Maybe this stranger was also a ghost. Yeah, they were just some ghost. Why would a ghost offer another ghost sunscreen? Then almost as if to just keep throwing him off, the lifer who had just been at the most definitely lifer food truck came up and handed this stranger food. A ghost would definitely not need food.

“Just be careful man,” The stranger called as they and their friend walked off. Reggie glanced at Luke. He needed to make sure he didn’t imagine that. Luke was still staring at the stranger. Cautiously their eyes met, and slowly smiles crept across their faces. The next second they were dashing ecstatically to Julie.

Julie definitely looked like she had questions, because Julie also definitely saw. Reggie giddily picked her up in an excited hug. He couldn’t seem to stop shouting “They saw me.” Luke soon joined the hug with his own excited shouting.

“Oh my god! This changes everything!” Reggie realized he no longer had to hold himself back. This could be just like any other beach day. Still carrying a laughing and mildly protesting Julie, Reggie dashed towards the water. Deep in the back of his mind he hoped whatever power decided to make him visible kept going for the rest of the day. Otherwise Julie might be center stage at a haunted beach.

Honestly, it had been one of the best days Reggie has had. Even when he got home and was slammed with sudden exhaustion, it wasn’t so bad. The guys hadn’t really needed to sleep and Reggie missed it a little. Then he woke up this morning with one of the worst sunburns he’s had.

Throughout his life Reggie had often wondered if there was some force out there that specifically enjoyed messing with him. This was definitely one of those times. He had just spent a wonderful day at the beach with Julie and Luke two of his favorite people. Now, now he could barely move and just felt miserable.

Reggie’s internal self pitying was cut short by a hand to his forehead. It was definitely too small and a little too warm to be any of the guys. It still felt nice, while it was warmer than the guys it was still cooler than his own forehead at the moment. He hesitantly blinked his eyes open to look at Julie’s concerned face. He quirked a small smile and managed to whisper out a “hey.”

“Hey,” she replied, tentatively returning the smile, her hand gently stroked over his forehead and through his hair, “I heard somewhere cool baths are supposed to help. Wanna give it a try?”

Reggie groaned at the thought of moving but she wasn’t exactly wrong and he told her as much, “although aloe vera is supposed to be even better and neither are going to do much for this headache. Besides the bathroom out here only really has a shower.”

Julie hummed as he heard Alex volunteer to find some aloe vera and poof out. Then she gently continued on “Do you wanna see if ghosts can take Tylenol?”

Reggie shook his head as best as he was able. They still barely understood how the whole visibility thing worked, they were essentially hopeless when it came to understanding how the ghosts eating thing worked. He didn’t really want to test his luck at the moment.

“Well Carlos and Dad are out at the moment for some father son bonding time. Said they wouldn’t be back for a few hours if you want to use one of the bath’s in the house. At the very least maybe you should hang out in the house where it’s cooler than out here?” Julie suggested keeping her voice low. Reggie attempted to hum but it came out more of a moan as his eyes closed on their own.

Then Luke spoke up, actually managing to also keep his voice low for once, “Hey if it doesn’t hurt your head too much, maybe we could even hang out and watch a movie together?”

Reggie smirked his eyes still closed, “I’d like that.”

_______

AN: As always let me know what you think! Prompt taken from here. Full list of my fics found here.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #reggie peters #julie and the phantoms fanfic #julie molina

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whileiamdying · 9 months

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The Shipping News: Moderate or good?

Our voyage into Annie Proulx is under way, but the outlook for a satisfying read remains unclear

📷 Kevin Spacey as Quoyle and Judi Dench as Agnis in the film version of The Shipping News

There was a mixed reaction when The Shipping News was announced as this month's Reading Group choice. Plenty seemed pleased. But many were disappointed.

As expressed by Lobster1: "Oh gosh … I really didn't like the book … eeek … I enjoyed the story but I had problems with her prose style … I found it annoying."

This prose style seems to be the sticking point. Even many of those that like the book seem to find it difficult. Shavedlegs wrote: "I agree with the comments about her writing style. I found it really hard work and it took me ages to really get into it. It's worth sticking with it as the description of a bleak Newfoundland winter and the emergence of the key characters is beautifully done. Definitely a slow burner."

MajorWhipple too had worries about the pace, saying: "It's a terrific work although the pace might not suit everyone." Although he went on to note: "For me it was the perfect marriage of style and setting. Excellent characterisation and plotting too."

Kendrew agreed: "I fell out of love with fiction for many years and it was this book that persuaded me to fall again. Many people have told me that they find Proulx difficult and hard going but I found her quite the opposite. I have since read Postcards, and after Cormac McCarthy I find Proulx wonderful when describing landscape."

So what is it about the style in the Shipping News? Is it (as Partridge says of one of Quoyle's early pieces of journalism) "like reading cement"? Or, as that line might suggest, is it rather witty?

Personally, at just over halfway mark, I'm on the Kendrew-MajorWhipple side of the fence – although it took me a while to get there. At first I wondered what Proulx had against relative pronouns and conjunctions. I stumbled over sentences like the following:

"But Partridge, dribbling oil, said 'Ah, Fuck it.' Sliced purple tomato. Changed the talk to descriptions of places he had been, Strabane, South Amboy, Clark Fork."

I also wondered if I was going to find the imagery heavy going:

"As she spoke she changed in some provocative way, seemed suddenly drenched in eroticism as a diver rising out of a pool gleams like chrome with a sheet of unbroken water for a fractional moment."

Because that passage came early in the book, it got me worried. I spent a long time starting at it, sometimes thinking it sounded quite pleasant, other times thinking "but divers rising out of pools don't gleam like chrome" and "how long is a fractional moment"?

As it turns out, nothing since has tripped me up. Like many of the best books, The Shipping News has taught me how to read its rhythms, cadences and how to take in its imagery. Now, I'm racing through and enjoying every word. I can't verbalise why those sometimes clipped, sometimes languorous sentences fit the setting so well – it's more of a feeling. Is it too much to suggest that those waves and troughs, ebbs and flows, fogs, clouds and moments of piercing brightness in the prose are right for Newfoundland? Perhaps. But I'm sure that Proulx's prose is an admirable tool for conveying the tough poetic speech patterns of local characters like Billy:

"'Tis a strange time, strange weather. Remember we had a yellow day on Monday – the sky cast was an ugly yellow like a jar of piss. Then yesterday, blue mist and blasting fog. Cap it off, my sister's youngest boy called up from St John's, said there was a fall of frozen ducks on Water Street, eight or ten of them, feathers all on, eyes closed like they was dreaming, froze hard as polar cap ice. When that happens, look out boys."

I could read passages like that all day. Annie Proulx, it's fair to say, knows her weather. Wind, snow, rain, lots of rain, storms, odd strange moments of sunshine and then, fog: "Fog against the window like milk..." "The sullen bay rubbed with thumbs of fog" … "green of grass stain, tilted in fog."

There are masterful descriptions of the elements – a pleasure in and of themselves – although, of course, there's more to them than mere decoration, as this early description of the strange hero Quoyle indicates:

"His thoughts churned like the amorphous thing that ancient sailors, drifting into arctic half-light, called the Sea Lung; a heaving sludge of ice under fog where air blurred into water, where liquid was solid, where solids dissolved, where the sky froze and light and dark muddled."

Fog again. A splendidly-worked pathetic fallacy. Or at least, that's how I've been reading it. I should state again here that other opinions are available. I've just spotted this New York Times review stating: "Weather offshore or overland can often seem chokingly imbued with portentousness."

So there you go. As we already know, this isn't a book that pleases everyone. Although it's definitely keeping me happy. Whenever I come back to it, the strange rhythm and texture of the prose transports me straight to Newfoundland. It's one of those books that's enjoyable enough to make me resent the rest of my day. How mundane doing the dishes seems when I could be reading about Quoyle. I'm even feeling antsy writing this piece. In fact, I think I may slope off and read some more now …

Before I do, I'd just like to solicit opinions. How do you find the weather? Hard going? Bright and clear? And what is it that is so unusual and appealling/unappealling about the prose? Oh yes, and one last thought from cutta:

"Christ it's dull. Haven't read it but it's been Book at Bedtime on Radio 4 for God knows how long and still nothing's happened. All that 'low, Biscay, deepening rapidly' or 'southeast Iceland, good, becoming poor, 7' etc etc. Occasionally there's an exciting bit about hurricane warnings but I still struggle to stay awake till the end each night."

There's no pleasing some people...

#Lasse Hallström #Kevin Spacey #Julianne Moore #Judi Dench #Scott Glenn #Rhys Ifans #Pete Postlethwaite #Cate Blanchett

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secondfuckingguessing · 10 months

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July 27th - appointment day.

Yesterday I was REALLY stressed. By nighttims, however, I spent ages in the shower shaving my legs and somehow left feeling different. Still hope to god it's nothing, but at least I'm not panicking. Where do I even start with my dreams?

First of all i was in s car (a celta, if it was so tiny it was uncomfortable). I was on the front seat, the passenger one. My father was the driver, but the csr stsrted wallking by itself and gaining speed, my father couldn't get in. I couldn't move my legs to try to hit the brake. I colud only steer left and use the hand brake. That's what i did sfter a while, stopping at a 45 degree spot. It was a very claustrophobic experience to be in that car.

Then I was in the casa branca house. My friends were there sround s round tsble. It seemed something like my birthday although it wasn't mentioned. Julia was there, giovana was there (giovana again). I was kinda pissed though. Things were shaky between us, like st the lunch. I talked a bit about meat.

Then I woke up, went to the bathroom and fell asleep again.

Next dream stsrted with me sorting out clothes to wash from a tiny bathroom with a dirty toilet. I managed to drop bits of some clothes in the dirty water. Then it was candeias. Tia Jacqueline was there wearing purple glitter in the middle of her face. There was a water purifier in the stairs that went south. I don't remember much more, what happened.

Next thing i remember is driving at night down a highway with my father. He left me at a bus station in the early morning before dawn. For a while in the road we couldn't see anything, so dark it was. He dropped me there, i thanked him (i wasn't so sure of where i was and he left me somewhere further down my journey than I'd expected) and he left. There was a line and a door opened, but the place was pit black. A lot of people with babies entered. I thought that was weird and stayed back. A note on the door said it was a kitchen. I spotted a line on the other side to get bus tickets. I was in sjdr, but if i was there i have no idea where I was going. The line was literally lined with products but at a certain point the aisle was so narrow you couldn't walk. I was interested in buying a casio watch for 95 reais, but gave up cause it was golden and from another brand. It was a corridor that led to one impossible to walk down. Someone else appeared though. My boyfriend. Someone who seemed very simple and ugly to be honest, but who showed up out of the blue(maybe from candeias) just to see me. He wasn't traveling with me. He just bought my ticket while i was enticed with yhe waycj in the dead end aisle. We talked cute for a while, i wished he'd come along with me. I also thought about sending tete a text saying i was there for a while but didn't. I didn't want it to look like I preferred doing something other than seeing her. Weird thing is my boyfriend apparently got me a bus ticket to sjdr. Then i woke up.

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

Text

4/16/23

It's late again so I'm gonna try to be quick with this tonight.

I had trouble sleeping last night, didn't get to sleep until around 6:30. Ugh. I... I'm boring myself with even going through the details here. I busted ass on the project yesterday so I gave myself some slack today. I played Per Aspera for a few hours after yoga. I tunnel-visioned and lost complete track of time, it got late really quick, I looked at the clock and it was 7, so I rushed to the shower.

I took a quick shower, got ready to go out for a walk. It's supposed to rain tomorrow, so I wanted to get ahead of it and just get some fresh air, yesterday's walk was nice. So, what I'm getting to is... I got all my stuff on and I was putting on my socks... and my right ankle felt really swollen.

Ugh, I'm having trouble typing this and forming my thoughts. Basically... I started getting pains in the inner side of my shin, where my shin and my calf meet. And I... I started freaking out, to be honest. Pretty bad. I started to get foot pain too, it felt like my whole foot was swelling up, there were like red splotches on my foot that looked like burst capillaries and shit. And... I tried to talk myself down and just go "it's probably just muscle shit, from the walk yesterday". But I freaked out bad. I was just 100% convinced it was a blood clot again. Like... convinced.

I haven't talked about it in a while so I might as well refresh. The summer after my college graduation, I went to a concert with some friends. Well... all of those friendships ended on bad terms, including my brother... but anyway. I went to a metal show, I drove. I was always the organizer and the driver. I was kicked in the shin while in the mosh pit. I didn't think much of it. I goofed off with my friends, it hurt a lot but I soldiered through it. I remember driving home, it was my right leg - the same leg as today - I remember the pain from hitting the pedals, I remember trying to switch feet occasionally as a goose-egg formed on my fucking shin. And everyone else in the car was passed out. It was like a 2 hour drive too!

I got back and I spent the night at my ex's apartment. I had some booty shorts I got at the concert as a joke that night, I used to do that shit a lot, get goofy clothes to wear to look ridiculous. My ex stole them and, most likely, threw them out, and never told me. I would put fucking money on it.

I have no idea the context of any of that shit, but after that day... she wanted a break or broke up with me or something. Literally no clue, out of the blue. Maybe she was jealous she didn't get to come to a metal concert that she would've hated? Maybe she was upset that I was wearing goofy clothes? Maybe she thought I brought womens' clothes back to her apartment... to like... show her that I was "cheating" or something? I have no clue what she thought was happening there. She most definitely didn't ask and I would put money on that being the reason we broke up.

Welp... that kick to the shin? It turned into a blood clot. Within 24 hours, there was so much blood pooling in my foot that the entire inner side from big toe to heel turned a sickening gradient of black-purple-green-yellow. It was one of the most painful things I've been through in my life. It's a close toss-up between the shin blood-clot and the thrombosed hemorrhoid. Those were definitely top two most pain I've ever been in in my life.

I endured that pain... alone... for a fucking week... because my girlfriend was mad at me and wouldn't tell me why and wanted a break. Maybe she even flat-out broke up with me, I don't even remember. I fucking wonder why, I was in some of the worst pain of my life... After a week, there was an outdoor hippie festival thing going on near her hometown, like 5 minutes from my apartment, and I knew she was going, and I just... really asked for another chance. I drove over there and spent the entire day with her, hobbling around and limping, using her as a crutch. In ridiculous amounts of pain, but like... showing up, you know? (it made sense to me at the time, now I'm like... bro, she knows how much pain you're in and she won't visit you when she's 5 minutes away? What a psycho...)

After a few hours, someone really insisted I go see the medics at the medical tent... and I reluctantly went. They immediately freaked the fuck out and insisted my ex take me to the ER. Like, she fucking really didn't want to. I was willing to drive myself... And they were legit getting upset and flat-out insisted she bring me urgently and that I not be alone. So we went.

I waited in the ER waiting room for maybe... 15 minutes? If that? They rushed me into the ER ahead of someone who was hit in the face with a baseball bat and gushing blood, like... I was insisting they take that person first and they refused.

I remember this so vividly, god damn. So they brought me in, triaged, inspected, I'm pretty sure they... ultrasounded it? I feel like they did. Then had me sit in the room while they got a doctor. I remember a doctor came in and they also at one point brought a bunch of other people in to look at it, idk if they were students or something, I just remember that happening and it feeling like... inappropriate or something, just weird and awkward... but yeah... Basically the doctor, with limited information offered me two options. Either they do exploratory surgery right away to try to free the clot, which carried a risk of having it slip, go straight to my heart and kill me immediately. The alternative was to amputate my right leg at the knee. They gave me a few minutes to make my decision. And I remember my ex not being much help at all.

I ended up really pressing for a second opinion, to try to get a specialist on the line, which they actually did comply with. And... finally... they managed to get the time frame into their heads. See... this is an ER. They assumed that this was compartment syndrome, and the options they presented are 100% how you deal with compartment syndrome, because with that? You have like 12 hours until the limb is gone or you're dead. But I had been nursing this thing for a week. The second I shared the timeframe with the doctors they started to chuckle and sent me home with a leg brace - no fucking clue why they gave me a $200 compression cast thing, for a SWOLLEN SHIN, I literally couldn't wear it without nearly passing out from pain - and a prescription for Percoset.

My ex brought me to spend the night at her Mom's place, where we could get both of our cars parked after the ER. It was awkward as fuck. Her Mom kept making weird comments about like "you two better not hook up now, okay?" And I was like... dosed up on Percoset and could barely walk... I just didn't want to be alone, man... Then she brought me back to my parents' house the next day, and we were completely broken up for good very shortly after. Like at most 3 days after.

Super awkward picking up your car from your ex's mom's house after she broke up with you for the 3rd time, by the way. Don't recommend it.

So yeah, needless to say... that kinda left a mental scar.

And today, that nerve got struck. Vividly. And I... even entertained the idea of calling a doctor, or even my mom. Because it was a really weird feeling, both emotionally and physically. Emotionally, it was like... doom and death. It was "oh, I'm gonna fucking die in the next couple minutes, huh..." Physically, it felt like something moving inside my leg, like a pressure or a vacuum or something, and I felt like it was moving up the inside of my leg. And I was afraid it was a clot in my leg, because I've been really sedentary and my diet is shit. It was just... the narrative my head had. And the feeling felt... familiar. And that's where my head went. And it was literally like... right as I was trying to put my shoes on and head out the door.

That was a hell of a moment. Having to figure out what to do there. And having no one to talk to. No one to ask for advice. No one to double check or give a second opinion. I was really on the fence for a minute there, and it was getting dark too... so I really needed to make up my mind. And I just started to shake my foot and leg and rotate my ankle a bit and just... get the blood flowing, get the muscles warmed up. And I kinda just got to this point where I said... "welp, if it's a clot and it slipped? It's probably better for me to be in a public place than my apartment, isn't it." Like a "what the fuck am I going to do about it" kinda moment. "Better for someone to find me collapsed on a trail or dead in a stairwell than to smell my body rotting in 2 weeks." Dark shit. And I just... got myself to... man I really wish I remembered the entire narrative I told myself. But yeah, I got myself to chill and relax and I didn't let it talk me out of going. I went for the walk. I went to check out the hydroelectric dam I live right next to. I went on a short river walk. I saw 3 rabbits that were very used to human contact and I got to get really close to. I saw a gorgeous sunset. It was really nice. It was a short walk, but it was nice, definitely worth it!

I finished up the animation work I started last night, did the other 60 path tracing balls. It was tedious but I got there. Now... I'm just figuring out rendering and shit. The whole video when rendered is 6 fucking gigs. But the overlapping paths are doing some wonky shit, so I need to figure that out. I'll figure it out tomorrow or something.

So yeah, that was my day. Thankfully, that intense panic trauma flashback episode didn't send me spiraling. I remember feeling very proud of how I handled it, and how I managed to get myself out the door when every single odd was against me. But, to be honest, there's been a wave of depression through the end of the night. Mostly around the project, thinking it's kinda stupid, it's not really as cool or profound as I think it is. The usual suspects.

Again, I come to the usual conclusion... I need supportive perspective. Guess it's back to dead-end dating apps and googling "art collectives near me". Fingers crossed.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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