#idk having it set in that you have to pay thousands for EVERY FUCKING THING in life ALL THE FUCKING TIME is making me want to kms!!

[spirit-praise-and-beauty]

i am a huge jerk dick head and idont like any body

#i’m having a hard fucking day my guys #and it’s not even a couple hours into it #idk having it set in that you have to pay thousands for EVERY FUCKING THING in life ALL THE FUCKING TIME is making me want to kms!! #i hate this! #i hate being 21 and expected to have shit sorted and understand this! #i hate that i’ll have to live out the rest of my life a fucking slave just to fucking exist #i’m so tired #i’m so so so fucking tired #i’ve had it #whoever decided we have to pay everything we have just to exist is hopefully burning in fucking hell #and i hope everyone who perpetuates it stays down with them #i’m so #so #exhausted #of just LIVING #when i finally seem to catch a break no the FUCK I DONT #ALL LIFE IS for me is a series of NOTHING BUT REPEATED TRAUMAS #AND IM FUCKING SICK AND TIRED #OF BEING STUCK #IN THIS FUCKING LOOP #OF THINKING AHIT IS OKAY #ONLYFOR ALL OF IT TO CRASH IN #KVE HAD SO MANY IMPLOSIONS OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS #I CANT FUCKING HANDLE ANYMORE INDONT CARE #vent #cw vent #tw vent #or whatever other fucking tags i have to add

[mostremote]

reflecting on 2023, thoughts for 2024, long personal post

How would I sum up 2023? Well, it's certainly been productive. Securing a permanent position at a university I adore is unreal, and I still subconsciously assume there's been a mistake and they'll fire me any day now. After what was essentially 7 years of precarity, having professional stability is absolutely wild. I love my job, I love my students, I love my colleagues, and it's insane to me that I seem to have actually "made it" professionally.

My second book is coming out with a Big Publisher and that's very nice too. I don't have much emotional attachment to that project, but it took a lot of work and I'm satisfied that it is reaching its appropriate conclusion. I will make, I am sure, zero money out of it, but that's academic publishing for you lol

I gave my first keynote paper at a (cute, small) conference, so that was also a milestone. I also organised a very successful conference in which like 1/4 of the speakers cited my work, which was absolutely surreal and made me want to disappear into the ground.

I made a huge amount of progress on my novel, it's pretty much finished, and my one real resolution for 2024 is to make a proper effort to get it published. I'll wait until my academic book is out to start that process, but that's the one resolution I'm setting for myself. I don't know if I'll have any luck (it's not exactly a book with mass appeal) but I want to at least give it a shot.

Healthwise, well. It's been a ride. A good ride, but a ride nonetheless. I switched medications for my chronic illness, coming off a really major one and getting onto a much milder one, as I've been basically asymptomatic. This is good news all round: I've adapted well to the new meds, and I don't have to deal with all the nasty side effects of the old meds (they fuck you up long term). The main problem I have now is that I can't drink much alcohol, but that's a small price to pay for good health.

But one side effect of the medication was weight gain. I gained around a stone after I'd been on it for a year but I figured that was just "not being in your early 20s anymore" weight gain. Turns out nope! I haven't weighed myself lately but I have visibly lost a lot of weight and it's a little disconcerting to be suddenly, well, very skinny again. I look much younger and smaller. It's not bad, it's just a stark difference to adjust to and not something I was expecting to happen in my 30s.

I've also adjusted my hormone regimen. I don't have any long term plans (i never do lol) but I've been enjoying playing more with feminine presentations. I'm just, comfortable with my body and happy with who I am. How about that!

Mental healthwise, hoo boy. Let's address my being cursed by an ancient amulet and becoming crushingly obsessed with the fictional villain of The Hunger Games. I haven't spoken about this on here but The Shivering Season is significantly informed by my own experiences with different forms of abuse and mental health problems, and I have been processing a lot while writing it. Sometimes I've had anxiety attacks while writing, which never happens to me! There was a point before Christmas I was having anxiety attacks at random everyday, just hanging out watching TV, because it seems I was bringing so much stuff to the surface. And I seem to have worked through some things, because the intrusive sexual abuse thoughts/fantasies I have experienced compulsively for, idk, 15+ years have gone. Completely gone. Really, really weird! I need to go back to therapy about this but I just don't know how to explain "I became obsessed with The Hunger Games and now I have 70% less trauma" in a normal way.

And I have been extremely manic these past 2 months. That is probably obvious from how I've been posting, but jesus christ. I wake up at 5am, I fall asleep at 11pm (and as someone who historically needs 8-9 hours every night, this is significant). I write thousands of words almost every day. I am generally inclined to periods of mania, but this is extremely intense and it has lasted since the start of November. I'm scared of crashing, both because this hyperproductivity is giving me a lot of positive brain chemicals and because I don't know what kind of person I'll be if it goes. Will the intrusive thoughts come back? I don't want them to! I've been very happy without them!!

And that's the conclusion, really: I've had a very happy year. I'm mistrustful of happiness, but I am still happy. I don't know what to expect of 2024, but I am optimistic, and content, and marvelling at in what a good place I'm in now compared to how I was.

Happy new year!

[boxofbonesfic]

Idk if you do this or not but would you mind posting a sneak peak of what you have for “all this and heaven too” cuz I’d be over the moooooon. Againnopressureiloveyouthankyouforexisting❤️❤️❤️

sure, here’s a scene from the next chapter for you to chew on 👀

At home, Patrick is relaxing on the couch, and he jumps up to help you as you open the door. 

“Babe, I told you to buzz up when you’re down there so that I can come and help you,” he chastises you, looping an arm under your shoulders. You’re grateful for his presence, and you briefly rest your head on his chest as he navigates handling both your weights. You’re relieved to see that he’s home alone, that neither Bucky nor Tony has sent anyone to check on your progress. 

It’s hard not to feel suffocated as you go through the motions, resting on the couch with Patrick as he runs through shows you’re barely able to pay attention to. Every thought seems to turn back on itself, Bucky’s face swimming up to hang menacingly over your every thought. Dinner is microwaved leftovers that you pick at as the two of you go over this weeks financials, your throat tight when he brings up Bucky’s deposit. 

It isn’t hush-money—he doesn’t need it. The threat of destroying your carefully built house of cards is enough. No, the money is a threat—a reminder. That the Avengers are wealthy, beloved, and you’re… you. If it hadn’t been for this deal, this partnership, you know you and Patrick wouldn’t even be treading water. You would be drowning in ten, twenty-thousand-dollar medical bills—and that’s with insurance. All of the money from your wedding savings had been drained while you’d been in the hospital, and only Tony Stark’s generosity had kept you there. 

“Babe? You’re totally zoned out. Are you even hearing me?” You look up from your plate guiltily, dropping the fork you’d barely used. “I was saying I think we should finish paying off the hospital. We might be able to do it completely, with the rest of the money.” 

You hum noncommittally, pushing the cold broccoli around on your plate as you try to drum up the courage to tell him you don’t agree with that plan, that you want to take the money and buy two one-way tickets to Brazil. 

“Yeah, we could,” you glance up at Patrick, who is already eyeing you over his beer. “I mean, I just… this thing with the Avengers might… it might not last.  Maybe it would be smarter to save some—”

“Oh my god,” Patrick sets his beer down roughly on the table, and you feel the muscles in your shoulders tense as you brace for part two of your earlier argument. “That’s what you went out for, today? To go call it quits?” The incredulity in his voice is insulting. “Jesus, it’s like you want us to drown or something—”

“That’s not true and you know it’s not!” You fire back, hands clenched into shaking fists below the table. “It-it’s scary, and you don’t have to be the one standing up there, getting ordered around by Tony Stark—”

“No, I’m just the one that has to work three extra shifts a week while you bitch about having to talk to some fucking paparazzi!” You reel back as if he’d struck you, his words hanging in the thick, tense air between you. Shoving yourself away from the table, you leave your half eaten plate behind as you shamble out into the hallway. “Wait, babe, stop, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

The thud of the bedroom door is an effective end to the conversation. Vindictively, you lock it. Just to make sure that Patrick can’t come barging in, demanding to finish the argument you’d started. Angry, frustrated tears well behind your eyes, and you throw yourself to the bed, curling into a ball. You lay there, sniffling as you press your face into the bedspread. 

Something woodsy and familiar makes your eyes shoot open, and you take another deep breath before recoiling, practically throwing yourself onto the floor from the mattress. 

Bucky. 

Your sheets smell like Bucky.

It’s impossible, nonsensical—but when you lift the comforter gingerly to your nose, you smell it again; the musky, pine-y scent that had burned itself into your nostrils all too well just a day or two before. 

Bucky had been here, in your bed. 

You’re not sure when, or even how he’d gotten in, but there wasn’t any mistaking it, not for you. You want to scream—you could take no comfort in curling up in your warm bed, nor in the arms of your fiancé. Instead, you curl up on the hard wood floor next to the bed, your arms wrapped around your knees as you press your face into the material of your sweatpants and cry. 

#ask the bones #all this and heaven too fic #snippety snippet #hey nonny nonny ho ho

[jimlingss]

It's B from @bang-tan-bitches and I would like to request a yandere fic. It can be BTS OT7 x reader or BTS member of your choice x reader. Similar to your amazing isekai story i would like something similar(a long one shot or a multi-chapter, your choice). Whether YN transmigrates to a game or a novel (not as a villain but maybe as a cannon fodder side character that has little importance to the story and just wants to lay low) but YN captures the attention of the love interest(s) and shit starts getting weird, intense, uncomfortable. Maybe it causes the supposed female lead to turn into the villain, maybe it causes the love interest(s) to turn into the villain(s). Maybe YN realizes that something is wrong with the story/game but can't figure it out. Idk. Time period doesn't matter. Modern. Ancient. Fairytale. Fantasy. Whatever.

If you can do this great! If you can't or don't want to, that's okay too. You're an amazing writer with so much talent and I'm really appreciative of all your work. Thank you for taking requests from your fans, I'm sure you've received a lot.

Take care! 😘💜💜💜

at the start of the pandemic, I was getting back into manga and manhwa and then after a few months, I dawdled off but recently, I’ve been getting back into it again haha so this request came at a pretty good time. Hopefully you won’t mind that I’ve taken some creative liberties with this request lol I think it’s more fun if I keep readers on their toes, including the requester.

On another note, I really shouldn’t be writing all my isekai’s with Taehyung as the main lead but he’s just so fitting asdfghjkl

↳ The Fox Bride

2.6k || 99% Light Fluff, 1% Angst || Kim Taehyung || Isekai!AU, Slight Yandere!AU, Nine-Tailed Fox!Taehyung

You are a tutorial character.

But you weren’t always. You still remember being a career woman in the twenty-first century, struggling with overtime and paying bills while trying to keep yourself fed. The success of that ranged from month to month. But more importantly, you still remember that night too.

It was rainy. Your car blew a flat tire. You pulled to the side of the highway and got out.

The last thing that registered was the deafening honk of the semi-truck. 

Then you felt yourself flying upwards.

But when you landed, instead of colliding with the concrete and dying upon impact, you fell back onto your ass in the middle of a market on a dirt road. Transported back a thousand years ago.

Your purpose was fulfilled in the next two minutes. 

“Are you alright?”

The male protagonist had stretched out his hand and helped you up. The hero. The main character. It was obvious with his bright red hair, shining eyes and bronze armour. He was so starkly different from the rest who were gray and drab, including you who was suddenly in a brown shapeless dress. He was practically a neon billboard in the middle of a graveyard.

“Are you Y/N?”

You looked at him, befuddled that he knew your name. But before you could even respond or provide a line of dialogue, he said, “This is a delivery from Baker Jeon. He gives you his thanks.”

The protagonists handed you a loaf of bread. Undoubtedly his first ever quest. 

You looked down, not sure what to do with it.

“Do you know where the blacksmith is?”

You had absolutely no clue. But there was the deafening noise of hammering steel literally ten steps away. You would have to be blind not to see the gruff man shaping a sword at an anvil right on the road and deaf not to hear it. As if that wasn’t enough, the literal sign of the shop read: ‘the blacksmith’.

So you pointed.

“Thanks.” And he trudged off.

You were utterly confused until a background character who said they knew you waved you over. You shared your bread with her, brushed aside when she asked you what was wrong, and you followed her as she walked up to your supposed cottage.

All the while, you saw yourself in the background of the hero’s main quest as he ran through the town.

And that was that.

It wasn’t so hard to figure out where you were or what the hell this was when you put your mind to it. Without much of a job or a family, and no technology but the candle that you had to conserve when night fell, there was ample time.

So you spent it thinking and you eventually solved the mystery.

You were in Beast Boys Harem: A Forbidden Embrace. AKA. a dumb yaoi otome game app that you downloaded on your phone when you were sixteen and bored. You remember because you were too cheap to buy the routes, so you played the tutorial, prologue and read the summaries of the routes online. Now you regret that you didn’t just fork over the goddamn five dollars. 

Even more than that, you regret that you even downloaded the game in the first place.

But at least you’re just a tutorial character. You’re free from the storyline and the plot—

That’s what you thought.

Turns out living a thousand years in the past in a fantasy realm as a woman didn’t bode well. It was probably no different from how it would’ve been like in the medieval ages. You had no trade skills. No one was willing to accept you as an apprentice when you were a woman. You found that you were essentially illiterate with a reading level of a preschooler, no one was willing to teach you, and you had no power or wealth when you were without a father or a husband.

And you’re certain what the landlord and tax-collectors are doing is illegal.

But in this world, in this unjust realm, there is no such thing as the law.

“We know you’re in there!”

You jolt from the heavy pounding on the frail wooden door.

“It’s time to pay up!”

Your hands tremble as you set the candle down that’s still billowing of smoke, the flame smothered out mere seconds ago. As much as you want to hide and pull the blanket over your head, you know that door won’t last. They’ll find you if you’re trapped in here.

“If you can’t, spread those legs of yours!” a low voice spits and there’s chortling from the men.

Someone adds, “Sell your body already!” 

“Open up! Damn whore!”

Without a single possession but the white nightgown clad on your body, you open the latch of the back window. You cringe at the squeak, trying to keep your movements quiet before the door gives way.

You hoist yourself up onto the window ledge. The door bends with the strength of multiple clenched fists against it. Your feet touch the soft grass outside your cottage. The men shout.

And the door finally slams against the wall, hinges broken. 

But by then, you’ve slipped into the shadows.

“Where is she?!”

The blanket is ripped off the bed, curtains are whipped back, every drawer dumped onto the ground and cupboards yanked open. The floor shakes with the weight of their boots and you press your palm to your mouth to silence your panting breaths, slowly stepping away.

“That damn whore slipped through us—!”

But as your shitty luck would have it, a sudden crack has the whole world coming to a standstill.

Shit. You look down at your feet, realizing that the snapping noise came from you stepping on a twig. And it’s exposed your hiding place.

“There she is!” — “Out the back window!”

You grab fistfuls of your dress and bolt. 

“Get her!”

With your cottage on the edge of town, there’s nowhere to run but through the dense woods. It’s shrouded in the darkness, no doubt filled with wild beasts creeping through the thicket. The rustling canopy of the trees doesn’t allow the dim, waning moonlight to illuminate your path.

So you’re left blind. Struggling up the high incline of the forest, feet slipping on dirt and mud. But you keep sprinting with all your might, even when the pointed, coiling branches scrape at your calves until blood sheds and the hem of your dress tears in the underbrush.

“Run, little rabbit!” one of them mocks, “Run!”

The four men continue to give chase, gripping onto their roaring torches, shrieking and howling after you. One of them is manically laughing as if your efforts to flee only adds to the thrill. Their greased hands reach out to snatch you, but the tips of their fingers graze the ends of your hair.

Your teeth are sunk into the bottom of your lip, sobs breaking through your aching chest. Your lungs burn, dying for a break or moment of relief. But you don’t relent and luckily, you manage to build distance between you and the men. Only, that luck comes crashing down by a fucking hole.

A hole in the forest floor that you don’t see. That has your footing all wrong. That makes you scream and fall.

You twist your ankle in a direction it’s definitely not supposed to be in and cry from pain. 

A second later, you force yourself to get up and keep running with tears flooding your eyes and dripping down your cheeks. But it’s more like limping than running, akin to hobbling on one leg and every movement has pain shooting from your swelling ankle.

The effort becomes futile. They surround you within minutes.

“All finished?” The tax-collector’s head cocks with a spreading grin. “You’re not going to keep running?”

Why couldn’t you just fucking die the first time?! Even if it was an awful death where you didn’t have time to prepare yourself or say goodbye to anyone, at least it would’ve been the end. At least you wouldn’t have to suffer.

But there’s no time to grieve. Or hate the new life you’ve been given. This is it. You have to keep going. You have to survive. By any means. You’re about to pick up a branch and uselessly wave it around at them, shout at them to stand back. Anything that you could do to save yourself—

“Who dares come onto my mountain?!”

There’s a deep timbre behind you. A husky voice that quivers the very core of the forest.

As if the wind has swept through, the trees and thicket rustle and it goes silent.

The men fall back onto their asses, some torches clattering to the ground. Their eyes have grown double in size, nearly falling from their sockets and their jaws have dropped to the dirt.

“I-It’s the nine-tailed fox!”

The man scrambles back.

“Demon!” 

Another barely manages to get onto his feet. He turns around and lurches away while shrieking.

They all run. Scattering away as frantically as cockroaches when the light is flickered on.

From your spot on the ground, you turn around with wide eyes. 

Amber irises meet your gawking and they practically glow in the darkness of the forest. He is dressed in a loose, white robe that’s draped over his frame, open to the middle of his chest. And over his honey hair, on the top of his head, his pointed golden ears twitch. By the torch fire still yet to die out, he is illuminated and his shadow is casted on the ground. The blazing flame warms his cold, sharp features. 

He is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. In both worlds you’ve lived in.

And you know who he is.

Taehyung. One of the love interests of the hero. A seductive, sly creature that eventually coaxes the hero into selling him his soul to grant one of his wishes. But Taehyung grows to become an obsessed character that wants to do nothing but monopolize and possess the hero for himself.

That same Taehyung approaches you with his lip curled as you teeter to your feet.

“Run away, girl.” He leans close. “Before I eat you.”

“Stop!” 

On sheer instinct and adrenaline, you push him back. Your palm shoves against his firm chest.

Taehyung stumbles back with his eyes becoming rounded. He looks down to where you had made contact against his body. “Did...you just touch me?”

“What?”

Taehyung’s head darts upwards and he captures your wrist in his hand, squeezing tightly. He tugs you in and on your swollen ankle, you stumble into him. Bodies flush against one another. Your face pressed to his warm chest. His arm coming around your waist to break your fall.

He is aghast. 

“You’re not from this world.” Taehyung’s yellow eyes swirl as they gaze into you. “Where did you come from?”

…

It’s been three days.

“Wed me,” he begs for the seventy sixth time. 

You don’t know why you’re keeping a count.

“No.”

You’re hugging your knees for warmth. The rice paper-paneled doors are slid open and letting in the chilly air. He doesn’t seem to be affected by the cold, but you don’t look at him for long. 

You turn into the corner of his home while sitting on the tatami floors as if you’re putting yourself into time out. But you’d like to say it’s your privacy corner. It’s as private as this abode, which was basically one room, could get. 

Taehyung sighs in frustration, placing his hand on his forehead. His teeth grit. “You’re only making this harder for yourself.” Your silence angers him more. “You can never leave.”

You turn over your shoulder to glare. “Even if I married you, you’d never let me leave anyway.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes on you and then smirks. “You’re right. Wed or unwed, I won’t let you out of my sight. You should feel grateful, girl. You’re the best human I’ve ever treated.”

You quietly scoff.

Maybe you should feel scared. Maybe you should tread more lightly. After all, he’s not a character to be trifled with.

But you know he needs you. That alone gives you power. 

As a beast, Taehyung’s been trapped on this mountain by priests for centuries. The only way he can be free is by feeding off of sexual energy and breaking the barrier. But of course, they also cursed him to be unable to touch any woman in this universe. 

You aren’t from this universe.

You jolt when you realize that while you were lost in thought, Taehyung’s crawled closer. He has a foxy smile, amber eyes searching your expression. “Maybe….maybe I’ll grant you a bit of freedom if you would just give into the temptation and let me have a taste of you.”

As cold as he looks, he is beautiful. He is mischievous when he smirks and sly when he speaks. You are utterly spellbound as you look into his irises. And the temptation he speaks of flickers in the warmth of your belly.

But you turn away.

“I already said we only do that kind of thing after marriage. And I will only marry someone I love.”

Taehyung draws back with an unamused scoff. “What a prudish world you’re from.”

He wanted you the moment you were brought to this house. With the intensity of his stare and your captivated state, you had let him pin you to his floor and you liked it. But then clarity came and you blurted that such an act only happens after marriage. A lie just to buy time.

You didn’t expect for the hero to arrive at Taehyung’s house the next day. With his red hair and bronze armour, he had gotten lost in the forest and knocked on the door. Before you could limp over and answer it, Taehyung jumped off the roof and confronted him.

The guy was thrown off the mountain within five minutes.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to have a steamy rendezvous. Taehyung was supposed to get the sexual energy from him! 

The story was going off the rails. And you’re not sure what you’re even buying time for anymore.

The both of you know it’s only a matter of time before you break and succumb to his mesmerizing seduction.

Taehyung is cruel, ruthless, obsessive.

But what’s the most bewitching thing about him is the jarring contrast of when he’s clumsy and nurturing. It’s what he regards as his own weakness. What he hides from others. But you felt your heart waver two nights ago when you were shaken awake in the middle of twilight. When you peeked open your eye to see him gingerly wrapping your swollen ankle with bandages.

He looked beautiful in the pale moonlight, ears, tails, sharp features softened—

“Ow!” You wince as he squeezes your ankle, right on your injury.

“You think too much in your head,” he says and looks at you. “What’s wrong?”

“It hurts.”

A sadistic smile tugs on Taehyung’s lips. He lets go, but only to lift your chin with his fingers. His plush lips are inches away, his breath warm on your skin and he gazes deep into you. “I won’t let you return to your world. I won’t let you run away. I won’t let anyone harm you.”

“You’re mine now.” Taehyung swears, “You’ll fall in love with me eventually.”

You gulp and he smirks.

The two of you know it’s only a matter of time.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #taehyung fanfic #taehyung scenario #taehyung fluff #bts fluff #taehyung reader insert #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfiction #LET'S GOOOO

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Prologue

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers) 

Rating: M

Words: 2.5K

Warnings: None, will be smut in eventual chapters

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one thing you need someone else for... A baby. You can plantonically start a family, right?

A.N: this is a bad bio but idk how else to put it. it’s a baby fic! I wouldn’t say this is enemies to lovers but they certainly don’t like each other at first so it kinda is. comment on this chap or message to be on the taglist. much love, Cia

                Prologue:  A Powerpoint, Really? 

If you had told 16 year old Y/N that she’d be working at the FBI, she would’ve called you batshit. 

Not only, did you not have any respect for authority or any inclination for rules in that matter, working for the FBI was never in the forefront of your mind. But when given the option of Jail or a full time job with benefits, it was fairly easy to make a choice. You remember the first day when you met your work partner and now best friend Penelope Garcia or specifically the day she caught you. 

You were waiting tables like you did every weekend to stay afloat. Today was unreasonably slow so you were just finding small things to do. That’s when she came in, an extremely brightly dressed woman, sat at the bar of the diner. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” You smile at the woman who looks up at you and smiles. 

“Yes, I’m looking for the Emerald City.” She says, smirking at you. Your face drops, you knew what she was talking about. 

When you started hacking it was only supposed to be a one time thing. You grew up poor, spent most of your life poor so when you saw your childhood home was set to be demolished to build a fancy new headquarters for Scotty Realins, an upcoming asshole tech CEO, without a cent going to your parents.  Something in you snapped. You had already been pretty decent at code and you flirted with a couple of guys in your STEM classes to learn how to hack so you would say you were pretty good at this point. So you hacked into the website and made sure all the Revenue for that day actually was wired to lower-income housing. At the end of the day, it was only a couple hundred thousand dollars but what was pennies to Scotty Realins changed some people's lives. 

So you started doing it more, to different companies under the pseudonym OZ. The money always went to different places that needed it whether it was paying the rent for a bunch of families or anonymous large donations to food banks or soup kitchens. You gained a bit of fame in the hacker community as a modern day Robin Hood. 

All good things come to an end though. And the end was standing in front of you in clunky, rainbow colored jewelry. 

“You don’t look like a cop.” you say, crossing your arms. 

“I’ll do you one better.” She says, pulling her FBI badge out, showing it to you briefly. You curse under your breath. “I’ve been following you for a while, OZ. Though I wasn’t expecting the man behind the curtain to be a woman. I will say, having my computers route back to a loop of “We’re not in Kansas anymore.” everytime I tried to track your IP was impressive. I couldn’t even be mad about it.” 

“Clearly not that impressive because you found me.” 

“Still took me longer than usual, which is saying a lot.” 

“This is a really long winded conversation if you’re just here to arrest me.” You say, taking off your apron. No use in keeping it on if you were going to be in handcuffs soon. 

“That’s because I’m not here to arrest you. I’m here to offer you a job, to work under me as a Tech Analyst in the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.” Penelope says. 

“And if I don’t want to?” 

“Then you’re going to want a lawyer and my very good handsome friend outside is going to arrest you. You’re smart and you have a chance to help people which is why you started hacking in the first place, right? Please don’t make me do that.” She looked at you pleadingly like she really cared and didn’t want you to go to prison. You didn’t say anything but something told you she’d been in the same boat as you before. 

“Hmmm…. I’m tired of waiting tables anyway.” 

So you uprooted your life and moved from Philadelphia to Quantico. Garcia took you under her wing and pretty soon the two of you functioned in her batcave like a well oiled machine. You could do without the constant gore that filled your screens but at the end of the day, you loved what you were doing and you wouldn’t change that for the world. 

The team was an added bonus, it was nice to have your own little found family. Garcia, of course, taking on the role as best friend mere days after your first meeting. You met Derek Morgan right after you agreed to take the job, he’d been there to arrest you and was very glad he wouldn’t have to do that. He told you often about how you reminded him of his sister and he regarded you in the role of younger sister from that day on. The next person you met had been Aaron Hotchner, your new boss. It took him a couple of weeks to warm up to you, you guessed he had a difficulty trusting new people and when he would call you guys for information he would always ask for Garcia instantly instead of you, not very trusting in your skills yet. Though that changed when you had been the one to track down the Unsub once. 

Rossi was easily won over when you told him about your Italian side of the family, specifically your grandmother who loved to cook and left you a lot of recipes. You and him often went back and forth in sharing dishes. Emily and JJ had also been easily won over with one bottle of tequila and a regrettable girls night. 

Then there was Dr. Spencer Reid.     

You had a lot of opinions on Dr. Reid, most of them weren’t good. It wasn’t like you hated him in fact, you’d consider him a friend but the two of you seemed to butt heads on well, everything. Both of you needing to be the smartest in the room and neither of you wanting to admit when you’re wrong will do that though. You still respected Spencer though, he was an extreme asset to the team and he was your best friend’s other best friend so you couldn’t really hate the guy. 

You also didn’t have to like him. 

So you had a good job, good friends, a nice house to live in. You were finally happy, content even. So why did it feel like something was missing? 

The something missing came in a stroller pushed by JJ the next week. 

The last case had been rough. Really rough. So while the team was on their way back you and Garcia hatched a plan for JJ to come visit from maternity leave and surprise everyone with the baby. While you guys were waiting for them to land, Garcia wanted to show JJ something she had gotten her godson so JJ asked if you could watch him and feed him until she got back, which you obviously agreed to. As you were feeding the child his bottle, and his ravioli sized fist wrapped around your finger you realized what had been missing. 

Fuck, you wanted a kid. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

You told Garcia first, it slipped when she noticed how off you were being. You wanted to have a kid bad now and you knew you didn’t want to wait. Penny tried to convince you that you’d “find the right person” but let’s face it, with this job, long term relationships were few and far inbetween. Plus you didn’t need a man, you had a good job and insurance, you knew you could provide a child with a life full of love it deserved. So you made an appointment at a fertility clinic. As the doctor was talking to you about your options, you felt yourself feeling more and more down about your decision and that only increased as you looked in the book of sperm donors in front of you. You looked at too many serial killers daily that it made you uneasy, carrying a stranger's baby. Maybe Garcia was right and your best bet was to wait for ‘the right guy.’ Even though you really didn’t want to. 

You walked into work later, a little sullen. Heading immediately towards the coffee machine. Penelope, who had been at Derek’s desk, makes a beeline towards you.  

“So how’d it go?” She says, smiling. “Did you make an appointment to be baby-fied?” 

You sigh. “I couldn’t do it, Pen.” You say, frowning. “I just-- We see so much here that I don’t want to accidentally end up with a sociopath’s baby because I couldn’t wait.” 

“But you don’t want to wait, do you?” She says softly, empathizing with you. 

“No, I don’t.” You sigh again, finishing making your cup before walking back out into the bullpen. JJ had brought Henry again for the others to see on the slow paperwork day. You tried not to look bitter but it was like she was flaunting the one thing you couldn’t have, even if it was unintentional. You watched as she handed the baby to Spencer, who instantly smiled and made faces at the laughing baby. 

“Spencer is actually a surprisingly good godfather.” Garcia says, smiling at the exchange in front of you. “Kinda makes you wonder what he’d be like with his own baby geniuses.” She says before walking over to the group and scooping her godson out of Spencer’s arms, Spencer still held on to his fist with his pinky, smiling down at the child. 

“Yea…” You say, to no one in particular. 

You had an idea. A probably bad one. 

-------------------------------------------------------

You were sitting in the coffee shop, nervously fiddling on your laptop while waiting for Spencer. You were surprised he even agreed to meet with you for coffee though you were sure he was just doing it out of curiosity because you told him you had something important to talk about. You weren’t even sure if you were going about this the right way. Hey Spencer, I know we’re not even friends but how would you feel about fathering my child? God, this was going to be terrible. 

You looked up when you heard the tell-tale bell on the door indicating someone walking in. Spencer gave you a small wave before going to the counter to get a coffee. You took that time to nervously sip yours. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, it was now or never. 

“Hey.” Spencer says, when he finally gets to the table, coffee in hand. “Why are you all the way in the corner?” 

“This isn’t really a conversation I want overheard.” 

Spencer tilts his head confused at that. “So what is the conversation we’re supposed to be having. I asked Garcia but she seemed to also have no idea.” 

“Yea, I didn’t tell her on account of this maybe going extremely bad.” You say, before sighing and turning your laptop around so Spencer could see the Powerpoint screen you have on it. When he reads it,  he chokes on his coffee.

“A Powerpoint, really?” He chokes, still coughing around the coffee. “Y/N, what is this?” 

“This is Reasons Why You Should Make a Baby With me.” 

“Yea, I got that from the title, Y/N.” He says, still shocked. “Is this a joke?!” 

“I wish it was, Reid.”

“Can I at least ask why you thought a Powerpoint was the best way to ask?”   

“Because I felt you’d be more inclined to consider it if you knew I spent time on a presentation.” 

“That’s true.” He leans back, taking a sip of his coffee, gesturing for you to continue. You hit the next slide. 

“Ok, reason number one is we both want kids.” You say, looking at him. “Garcia told me the other day that you were talking about how much you wanted a kid and I also want a kid.”  

“I did tell Garcia that.” He muses. 

“Reason two, an offspring between us would probably result in another genius. As you know, you are smart.” 

“Yes.” 

“And I am smarter.” You say, Spencer opens his mouth to protest but you keep talking. “A child between us could probably be the next Einstein.” 

Spencer nods and you continue. “Reason three, I’d be a great mom.” 

“That’s a debatable fact.” 

“No, it’s not. You’ve seen me around kids, have I ever given an inclination that I wouldn’t be?” You ask, he shakes his head. “Plus, I happen to think you’d be a great father. Which brings me to Reason 4.” You say clicking through the next slide. “If you don’t want to be involved in raising that’s fine. I’m perfectly fine raising the child myself an--” 

“What?! No!” Spencer says, sitting up. “If I do agree to have this baby, which I’m not completely doing yet. I want to be involved, I want them to know I’m their father and that I didn’t abandon them because I know what that’s like.” He says, seriously. You nod, already knowing this about Spencer. 

“Reason 5: I’d be the perfect platonic co-parent, I won’t ask you for anything unless it’s pertaining to the child and if you decide that later down the road you want your own family, I’d be supportive and help you along the way.”

Spencer nods. “We’re never home enough for a baby.” 

“That’s where you’re wrong because I’ll be here. I mainly stay here anyway and if there’s ever a case where you need a tech analyst to fly out, Garcia’s already agreed to have it already be her when I floated the baby idea around last month.”  

Spencer hummed, silent for a second. “You really want a kid, huh?” 

“Yes.” You say. 

“So much so you’re asking me?” Spencer says, matter-of-factly. “A Coworker you barely speak to?”

Well, when he says it like that. 

“Yes. I’m asking because while we don’t get along the best you are still one of the most compassionate, understanding men I know. And I know that if I have to raise this kid with somebody, you would love them just as much as I would.” You say, Spencer nods at that. “So, please?” 

Spencer sighs. “When’s your next appointment? At the fertility clinic?” 

You didn’t even want to ask how he knew about that. “Next tuesday.” 

He nods. “I’m going with you.” He says, standing, pulling the strap of his messenger bag over his shoulder. “This isn’t a yes.” 

“It’s not a no, either.” You point out. 

“No, it’s not.” He says, leaving you behind in the coffee shop with a huge grin on your face.

Taglist: @moonshinerbynight​ @crimeshowtrash​

Message/reply to be tagged!!

#spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer x you #spencer reid x you #spencer x reader smut #spencer x y/n #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fluff #bau x reader

[wreckofawriter]

Magnolia Final Part

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of blood and death

Summary: idk dude just read the other chapters first or this is gonna make no sense

A/n: I did this instead of studying for my finals, also it could probably use a neither round of editing but I was anxious to post it. And I really don't give a fuck if this is historically inacurate all research done for this was from Pirate of the Caribbean.

Part 1 Part 2

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

You considered the stars your friends, their predictability and reserve made them easy to get along with. You had been taught to read their language from your early days of ships and oceans. As a child, you would speak to them, whispering secrets from your bedroom window. Your young nights had been filled with time spent stretching from the top of your magnolia tree to try and grasp their beauty. Even now as you stared up at the heavens you wished to cradle them like priceless jewels, their wonder never faded. But you supposed their mystery is what made them so appealing, everyone wanted something they could never quite reach.

The news of your captured prince had spread like fire in a dry wind, the letters you had sent to Aldir and their neighboring kingdoms throwing many into action. Sirius’s kingdom was large, powerful, and merciless. Some wanted the prince for leverage, many others wanted blood; revenge driving them to empty treasuries and sharpen swords. At first, you had been sitting pretty, letters of bids coming to you at every stop you made. Eventually, prices got too high and kingdoms decided it would be easier to take than to pay.

Ash burned in the back of your throat, you stared at your feet as the second ship that week crumbled into the ocean. Its flames were heavy on your back, reflecting in the greys of the sea. A particularly large crack of the fire made the breath catch in your throat. Your fear of the element had persisted for years filling your nightmares with smoke and screams. 

As the distance between you and the defeated ship lengthened your heart began to calm. The air was thick with moisture, purple clouds bruising the dull sky. The ocean was frothy, waves lapping tirelessly at the sides of your ship.

Your mind felt dizzy, the taste of blood still thick in your mouth. Two more men had been lost in the fight which had taken place just minutes ago. One flung into the ocean and the other struck by a bullet. That was six bodies that you had been forced to dump into the sea the past month. 

You had to get rid of Sirius before more corpses were to be fed to the sharks. This had never been so strikingly obvious before yet, you hesitated. Nails dug into your palms, the voices in your head fighting a clamoring war. Your feelings were illegible, their messy colors smeared together in an uninterpretable painting. So you threw them away, ignoring the throb in your chest and taking a breath. Sirius was to be sold to the highest bidder and that was that. You felt your past’s grip on your throat loosening. There was only one way to get rid of what used to be, you had to kill it. 

   

Sirius had never been so bewildered before. His life had been a book that was written a thousand times over. The prince falls in love, the queen doesn’t approve, the love runs off, the prince finds the love, and then happily ever after. But life wasn’t as sweet nor simple as a children’s story and this may be the first time that he had ever truly realized that. All it took was the prince to be tied in the love’s basement ready to be sold to his death. 

Sirius woke with a start as metal clattered inches from his face. His heart pounded loudly in his ears as his breath slowly returned to his lungs. He stared at the plate which had woken him, it was piled higher than normal with two rolls dropped next to it. He peered up at the giver of this gift.

He recognized the small blonde as the one he had threatened a few weeks before, the fear he had seen in her eyes that moment now replaced with pity, bitter and soft like rotten fruit. 

“I wanna talk.” She said plainly, toeing the plate towards him like a bribe, he supposed that’s exactly what it was. 

Sirius sat up ignoring the hammer of his head. His hair stuck to his cheek, slick with sweat. The woman whose name he never learned dropped to a squat beside him, a small knife held in her hand. His eyes widened as it glinted in the small gas lamp hanging above his head. 

“Relax.” She sighed cutting the rope that tethered his hands behind his back. 

Sirius felt his shoulders groan in protest as they fell forward, his wrists aching and rubbed red. Hot pin pricks filled his fingers as he clenched and unclenched his fists. 

When he looked back up Adrie was now seated in front of him, her legs crossed. She glanced down at the food and then back up at him, “You can eat if you agree to answer some questions.” Her demands were simple. 

He let silence settle for just a moment, “Fine.” After all, what did he have to lose? His dignity? His pride? They had been sleeping with the fishes for ages. 

She pushed the plate towards him, watching him quietly as he began to eat, “You don’t look like much of a prince to me.” She hummed after a moment.

Sirius swallowed, licking his lips, “Does anyone after two weeks locked in the bottom of a ship full of scum?"

Adrie cracked a smile, “I suppose not.” 

She stared at him still, she was lying a bit. Years held prisoner couldn’t erase the royalty he was raised with, it stuck to him like wet stuck to water. Nothing and everything proved him a prince, you could take his crown but you could never take his title.

“How do you know y/n?”

Sirius was startled by the suddenness of the question but not remotely surprised it was asked, “She hasn’t told you?” 

“I wouldn’t be asking if she had,” Adire responded, her tone was blunt. 

He bit into a roll thoughtfully taking his time to chew slowly, she was patient, her blank expression, not faltering.

“I thought you were friends.” He mumbled with a full mouth. 

Her jaw tightened, “Y/n doesn’t speak of her past.”

“So you’ve come to me for information?” Sirius said mild mockery in his voice.

“Obviously.”

He eyed the woman curiously, she was not what he had expected of your right hand man. Sirius smiled loosely, “You sure you wanna disobey Captain’s orders?” 

“Start talking or I take the food and hang you by your ankles.” 

Sirius huffed glancing between her and his food, “Fine, you win.” 

“Good. Tell me everything.” She demanded.

Sirius felt his throat tighten around the potatoes he had swallowed, his mind ached with hazy memories of summer days and speeding hearts, “There isn’t much to tell.” 

“You’re a bad lair.” Adire hummed. 

Sirius sighed, eyes falling to the bright white scars which laced his hands. He wasn’t sure where else to start but the beginning. He told of a loud baker girl who snuck over the walls into his garden and brought him pastries and friendship. He continued with vague details, of growing up together with swords and stars, reliving each moment he shared. 

He felt his words stiffen as he spoke of falling in love with you. Part of him felt like he was talking of someone completely different. Someone who had burnt up with her parents in a small bakery a million miles away. What was left, muffling cries above him, was a shell of that girl her soul replaced with seaweed and smoke. He pushed the thought away, swallowing it with the lump in his throat as he continued to speak of a proposal he regretted and the consequences of disobeying his mother. 

The broken fairytale cut his tongue filling his mouth with a bitter taste. He attempted to wash it down with the rum his listener had brought to him but its flavor was just as bad, it's only redemption was the warmth that filled his stomach.

Adrie looked at him blankly, "I don't blame her for wanting you dead." 

Sirius wished she had stayed silent. 

"But I pity you, you don't deserve death." 

He didn't look up and instead finished his drink, "Your pity means nothing to me." 

She sighed standing to her feet, "I never thought it did." 

When her boots disappeared up the ladder he let his cup drop to the ground, it rolled knocking into his heel as tears dripped from his chin.

By the time you had dropped anchor just off of Haran, the moisture had dropped from the air. Dry winds and clear skies greeted your crew. 

Rowboats were dropped in the water quickly, the sun was setting fast and a night of cheap ale and cheaper women were in the forefront of many a man's heads. 

You were tired, the happiness of your crewmates falling short at your feet. Exhaustion had replaced all anger and sadness you had harbored for the past weeks making your eyes grow dull as the bags beneath them. The satchel burned under your arms had a note you had written agreeing to the Yerith King’s price. You had singed your finger on the wax used to seal the envelope, it still throbbed a bit with the unsteady beat of your heart. You tried not to think about much on your way to land instead filling your head with that faint burn and fog of the setting sun. 

Adrie watched as you played with the diamond strung around your neck, a new piece she had only seen in recent days. She assumed you had taken it from one of the ships which had recently burnt into the sea. The bright stone was so different from the rest of your jewelry she was surprised you wore it all. Obnoxious gems had never been your type.

She was wrong on this thought, large jewels used to be what you would stare at as you passed shop windows, wishing you had the money to clutch one in your hand. They used to be a dream and a wish, now they were just things you stole and sold to the highest bidder.

Sirius had been briefly told of the plans for the evening. Two men whom he had become somewhat accustomed to during his stay had tied him up. The knots were tighter than usual as they were to be gone for the night. In his usual nature, Sirius complained about the ache of his wrists and the cramps in his legs. His grievances went unheard and his company disappeared from sight. The boat was quiet within the hour, nothing but the creak of old boards and calls of gulls far above his head breaking the silence. 

He drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours, time passing in its usual way, slowly. Finally, a clear thought came to Sirius’s head, he had the whole boat to himself. That meant there was no one to stop him from escaping his certain and quickly approaching death. 

Sirius tried to twist his hands out of the rope for what must have been an hour and only resulted in drawing blood from his wrists. Switching tactics he began to slowly shuffle and roll around the cabin he was in, searching for anything that could cut rope. As the sun’s light began to fade his task was growing difficult. Just before he gave in to his exhaustion Sirius found a bent nail sticking about a centimeter out of the ladder that led to the upper deck. The next two hours were spent rubbing his binds against the dull metal until they finally snapped. 

    After a month of being held prisoner, freedom left him stunned. He stumbled up the ladder until he reached the ship’s deck. The warm breeze which washed over him felt like a gift from the gods. A smile stretched his aching cheeks and for the first time in a while Sirius Black let out a genuine laugh. 

He quickly found a small boat which he could lower to the water. He could be miles away before the sun rose and you found his binds cut. Judging by the port you had stopped at he was only a few days' row from neutral lands. There he could gather himself and write for help. He was saved.

Sirius’s glee was cut short as he realized that he was missing one vital thing; you. The only reason he was out here in the first place was for you. He had spent years following rumors across the sea, he had given up his place as king, he had spent hundreds of thousands on supplies. But the truth was even if he hadn’t done all that, even if he had stumbled across you within a week and spent no more than ten doubloons he still wouldn’t leave this ship alive unless you were by his side. 

Sirius cursed, slamming his fist into the deck. His eyes darted around in what felt like panic. He was trapped between your love and his life and while he had chosen the former weeks ago he had no way of securing it. 

In the dark, a glint of light was seen. A crate of liquor stowed next to the captain’s quarters revealed itself to the pale moon. The man's mind buzzed, he realized quickly that he would need to act fast, the hours of the dark he had left must be well used. 

The deal had been easy, one glance at the large gem and you had a buyer offering hundreds. You walked away with 400 doubloons knowing it was worth much more. Not that you cared, you had been hours from chucking the necklace into the sea. 

It was late at night now, the golden light of pubs and brothels spilling onto the gravel road you walked. Your legs still felt weak, they were accustomed to the sway of boats on sloshing waves not the strange sturdiness of the ground. You hadn’t been able to sleep well on land since you had stepped off it, you had always opted for a swinging hammock over a still cot. 

You swung your bag of coins round in circles as you made your way to the beach. The water was smooth save the ripple of waves drawn by the full moon. Sand glistened silver under your boots, the light crash of water on rocks echoing around you. 

You had never intended to spend the full night on land, your crew was well aware of this fact and none would be surprised to find you gone in the morning. You shoved one of your beached row boats back into the water, splashing about ankle deep before leaping into it. 

When you reached your ship, you sensed something was wrong immediately. The small voice which you tended to ignore was screaming in the back of your head. As you climbed onto the deck the strong scent of liquor overwhelmed you. You heard a soft splash and glanced down to look at the puddle you had stepped into. Swiping two fingers through the fluid and plopping them into your mouth you hummed. There was no mistaking the sharp taste of gin. You looked around to find the leak and instead locked eyes with a figure who stood about 20 meters in front of you. 

“Sirius?” You asked though you already knew it was him, you didn’t think you would ever forget his face, even if it was obscured by the shadows of the moon. 

He gapped at you, unsure of what to say.

You took a step closer and caught a glance of the bottle he held in his hand. Its thin neck was stuffed with a piece of cloth, the soft glow of a gas lamp flickering behind him. The second you realized what he had planned your gun was pointed at his chest.

“Drop the bottle Black.” you hissed with a steady voice despite the fact that your gun was rattling in your hands. Your thoughts were now fogged with fear, plagued by smoke and flames.

Sirius had suddenly found his voice, “I know you’re not stupid enough to fire that. One spark and we’ll both go up in flames.”

Your breaths quickened, vision blurring as tears welled in your eyes. “Why are you doing this?” You croaked. “Why do you want to ruin everything I’ve built for myself?”

“I’m not leaving without you y/n.” He shouted, “I can’t live without you. Just come with me. Please. Just come with me and it will all be fine.” 

You shook your head, “No.”

“Please, please! I need you y/n, I can’t go back without you!” He begged, snatching the lamp from behind him, “I won’t be able to live.”

It was in that moment that you understood he was just as desperate as you, just as lost and hopeless. You dropped your gun to your side, tears sliding slowly down your cheeks. Your throat tightened holding back a sob, “Okay.” You said with a broken voice.

Sirius cracked a small smile, “I knew it.” He sighed, “I knew you still loved me.” Setting down the lamp he opened his arms walking towards you. You met him halfway burying your face into his rough jacket.

“God I missed you y/n,” he whispered as you slipped a knife from under your sleeve.

“I’m so sorry Siri.” You mumbled in response before plunging the blade into his back. 

You held him as he collapsed forward, choking back on his own blood. You had begun to sob, hand still clutching the hilt of the blade which was lodged into him. Eventually his weight became too much to bear and you both fell to the ground. Sirius rolled off next to you, his hand still clasped around your own. The two of you started up at the stars listening as his breaths slowed. Just before they stopped completely you felt a small squeeze of your hand and for just a moment you saw the soft pink of a petal floating towards you.

You weren't sure how long you lay there, staring up at the sky but it was long enough for you to finally realize that you were the villain of your story. It was an odd thing to recognize considering in all of the books you had carried as a child you took the place of the protagonist; the one who swung the sword to save the kingdom You had always been the one to end your life with a happily ever after. 

Now you had realized that you had never been a hero. You had spent your life as a villain in the making, each step you had taken leading you closer and closer to your undeniable fate of evil. You had your chance to be the princess trapped in the tower, but you had ignored the prince and now took the shape of a witch. A witch who stole and killed and burned all that she hated. Some had to do it after all, we can’t all be heroes. There is no story without a villain, at least not one worth reading.

As much as the small baker girl who rested amongst the magnolia tree would have hated you, the woman you saw when you looked in the mirror was okay with who you had become. And if she was okay with it, then why did it matter what the past would have thought? You had been running from it for years and now you would never have to again. Because now your past ran from you. 

taglist:

@april-showers-and-flowers @fleurmoon @chaosinparadise @re-zerohora @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @theweirdobella @fific7 @whitewashedghanianlol @artemis1orion @justmesadgirl @bberree @songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac @secretsofageek @accio-rogers-blog @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @obsessedwithrandomthings-blog @coldlilheart @suseptiable-bur-siriusexual @inglorious-imagines @the-natureofme @trickylittlewitch @layaa-layaaa @teheharrypotter @sarcasticallywitty15 @rosieweasleyy @dracosgoodgirl @inglourious-imagines

so many of u changed ur urls so if I have the wrong person tagged or the wrong username let me know

Masterlist

#harry potter fandom #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfics #sirius black imagines #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black x oc #sirius black imagine #young marauders #harry potter marauders #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders x you #marauders x reader #marauders imagines #marauders imagine #marauders era fic #marauders #harry potter au #sirius x oc #sirius and regulus #sirius #magnolia #harry potter #harry potter x you #harry potter x reader #harry potter x y/n #fem!reader

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

Idk about you but that trope where a giant gets angry and accidentally scares a tiny and feels bad abt it afterwards makes me go absolutely feral,,

So, originally, I was planning for this scene to be in a future chapter of This Is Nothing Like The Disney Star Wars Trilogy, but I could never really think of a full story arc around it, even though I still really really really love this idea. In any case, if I happen to brainstorm a better plot and find a way to squeeze this in I might edit it into the main story, otherwise enjoy some classic Giant Catboi and Twink Solider fearplay >:3c

--

“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was!?”

As expected, the little one did not respond to his rhetorical question, though his tone certainly helped snap it out of its previous stupor as it released its death grip on his shirt in favor of squirming as soon as the bedroom door slid shut behind him. His aggravation at the situation was clear as day even without the usual language and cultural barrier that impeded any sort of deeper relationship Edix tried to form with the human. Red ears were still folded back against his curls and his shoulders tense, the stiff posture traveling down to his hands were they gripped the earthling to his chest perhaps just a touch more tightly than usual, not that it prevented it from trying to push and wriggle itself out of his overprotective hold.

Fuck no, he wasn’t ready to let it go yet, not when flecks of blood were still smeared against his knuckles as a result of an impromptu rescue mission. The satisfying snap of cartilage under his fist after one good sucker punch to Talan’s smug face still echoed in his mind, blood gushing from the surely broken nose while the biologist stumbled backwards into the shelves. Edix wondered if he would be reprimanded for that by the directors later, or if Talan would be too proud to report the ass kicking, maybe even taking the lesson to heart to not fuck with his things in the future. And yes, that included trying to vivisect his sweet little pet.

How was I supposed to know the stray belonged to you? He had asked with sarcastic innocence, as if the human in question hadn’t been seen with Edix a thousand times before, and wasn’t drenched in his scent, and didn’t have his ID code printed on the back of its little suit, Maybe if you weren’t such a wuss and actually put it on a shorter leash-

Asshole. He was lucky Edix’s only goal at the moment was to get the little one off the table and back to the appropriate sector rather than rip Talan to shreds with his own tools. A taste of his own medicine, perhaps. Still, he admittedly did have a point about the human, what with how much it would run off and get lost and damn near killed. He simply couldn’t figure out what was so terrible about staying in his company that the little one would risk injury and mutilation in a foreign environment as opposed to the safety and comfort he so desperately tried to provide for it. They might have had a bit of a rocky start, sure, but stars above that was far in the past now. There’s nothing either of them can do to change the facts so why not accept things as they are and make some type of effort to be happy in this new life? By all accounts, Edix was a great owner!

And yet, the little one still fought him every step of the way. Even now, having just saved it from a fate of having its tiny organs sliced while it was wide awake, it made it known it did not want to be near him anymore. It might have been clinging to him the entire walk back to the bedroom, but it must have remembered it was supposed to be oblivious to the notion of genuine love and safety because now it started to stutter out little squeaks on top of struggling. Normally, Edix adored any and all of the sounds it made, especially when it was directly trying to talk to him which only served to give him the mental image of a pup mindlessly babbling before they managed their first few words. This time, however, it only worsened his irritation.

“Stop.” He ordered, which the human somewhat complied with, though it probably had more to do with his harsher tone and the fact that he was already lowering his hand towards the bed to set it down. As soon as it was free of his hold, it scrambled back, looking at him with those wide brown eyes that were full of so much fear it made him sick. Why did it have to be so afraid of him? What could he have possibly done that even now, almost a cycle later, it was still overtly wary of his intentions. All he ever did was care for it. Feed it, pet it, cuddle it, protect it, and still nothing was good enough!

With a tired sigh, he rubbed his hand down his face and resisted the urge to tug at his hair. “I just don’t understand,” he pleaded, begging some cosmic being out there to suddenly grant the little one the power to understand what he was saying, “what can I possibly do to prove to you that I’m not going to hurt you? I’m trying to keep you alive and it’s like...I don’t know, you resent me for that or something!”

The sweet thing looked more confused at his words than anything, but he could tell his body language and voice were making it uneasy. The human was used to soft words and purrs and slow movements, rarely any agitation in his being. After a beat of silence marked by an intense stare down, Edix gave up on hoping the earthling would miraculously explain itself and open up to sharing its thoughts on the matter. He reached for it and it instinctively back up, flinching when a growl rumbled in his throat in response.

“Stop running,” it was a fruitless endeavor, but like hell if he wouldn’t stop trying. That was how new pups learned how to understand a language anyways, wasn’t it? To repeat certain words over and over until they got the idea? Maybe that’s all he needed to do here, maybe by now it already knew the Venandi words for no, stop, be good, and so on. He reached for it again and it did the same thing as last time, always sure to stay just out of the most convenient reach. Not that it mattered how much it inched away seeing how it was trapped on the bed with Edix directly in front of it, but it was the principal of the matter.

And it was then that something inside him snapped. Something primal as a result of dealing with an unruly pup far too long for his nerves to handle at this moment. He wasn’t even aware of his actions, belatedly realizing how he pounced on the bed in a flash, the human scrambling to get away but only having enough time to turn around before being roughly pinned on its stomach against the mattress. His teeth were bared and pressed tightly against its back, fangs scraping against the layers of its clothes to no doubt bruise the tender flesh underneath, though thankfully they didn’t break the skin. A loud growl reverberated though its entire body, shaking it to its core.

“Enough.” He hissed against its back, keeping his teeth pressed into its skinny frame for a moment longer before pulling away. The second he did, his glare softened, all the anger he felt gone in an instant as soon as he saw the sight underneath him.

The poor thing was absolutely petrified.

It was probably the worst it’s ever been scared, arguably. Not even the first time they met, when it had so gracefully tumbled down that hill and landed face first in front of him, compared to the level of fear that radiated off it. A split-second thought had Edix wondering if he had legitimately scared it to death. Soon enough, though, he was able to pick up the minute tremors that shook through it, almost like an aftershock of the warning that it felt more than heard. It was pale, baby face devoid of color not unlike that time before when it had been sick with fever. But its eyes...those sweet little doe eyes he loved so much were wide and wet with a sheen of tears that refused to fall, locked in a blank stare straight ahead towards the wall and refusing to look at him.

A small, choked hiccup made its body twitch every couple of breaths, but it refused to open its mouth to allow any of these sniffles to turn into cries. Shit, it refused to move at all, too terrified of Edix’s threat display that if it did anything he didn’t like there would be dire consequences to pay. He supposed it worked exactly as intended, in that case. It was still, it was quiet, it was technically obeying him after he just forced it to behave via alternative punishment. That didn’t change the fact that he felt absolutely, terribly, extremely awful about what he just did.

It was just a pup, as he always said, regardless of what Ylva would tell him about human adolescence and such. It didn’t know any better, it had never been raised in these situations before and needed much longer than a measly cycle to unlearn all of its prey behaviors it needed to survive on its home planet. Besides, it wasn’t that it didn’t fully know that it was perfectly safe with Edix, it was smart enough to know he was at the very least the safest option when presented with any other Venandi. Edix had been upset, and it knew he was upset, so of course it would want to avoid a potentially hostile predator before-

--before it snatched the little one in its teeth.

Fuck, fuck, he was an idiot. Maybe he wasn’t as cut out for this as he thought, not like Ylva who was the very essence of motherhood. No. Now wasn’t the time for self doubts and pity, not when the human was in such a state. Slowly, hands cupped around its shaking form, mindful to make sure his fingers were in its view so it wouldn’t be any more startled when he lifted it up, not that he was completely sure it was actually seeing anything in front of it. The little one hardly reacted to the movement, laying limp when he pressed it against his chest and moved to sit up against the headboard of the bed in a similar fashion to what he had done the first night the poor thing was on the ship.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s okay,” he whispered to it, rubbing his thumb along the curve of its back just how it liked whenever it dozed, “you’re okay, we’re fine, it’s okay to cry. I’m sorry I scared you, I’m so sorry.”

Normally in these types of instances, he’d be purring and shushing the little sweetheart until he was able to get it down for a nap, but he had little confidence that any other types of chest vibrations would have its usual effect of making the human drowsy currently. When it finally started blinking again, the tears that had welled up ran freely down its cheeks, quickly biting down on its wobbling lip to prevent any sobs from escaping and get it in trouble for misbehaving. He softly clicked his tongue at it and cooed, anything to put it at ease with a softer demeanor. “I know, honey, I know. I won’t ever do that again, I promise."

Well, if nothing else, at least the little one’s apprehension of him wasn’t unfounded anymore, much to his dismay.

#g/t #fearplay #g/t writing #g/t fearplay #giant/tiny #macro/micro #my writing #ask #anon #g/t ocs #all i can say is :3c #also i didnt skip math class i skipped english class instead hsjfhdfjhfjjsf

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Mistletoe

@elliestormfound hit me with this delightful ask “hi! I have a prompt for you: what if everyone knows that Geralt and Jaskier are dating except for Geralt and Jaskier because they are idiots? What if it is around christmas and all their friends hang mistletoe everywhere to get them to kiss finally?? sorry, I got too excited :D“ and it was just the thing my brain needed to decompress today apparently? So here’s 1.7k of my stress relief? 

Warnings: k-kissing? christmas-ish? banter? swear words? a silent auction for an animal shelter? its in a barn? idk fam i think this one is pretty tame?

__________

“Geralt I can send Lambert in five minutes. You need to go home and shower.” Jaskier’s voice was exasperated over the truck speaker, having already told Geralt three times today that he couldn’t be late for his own fundraiser. 

Geralt sighed and switched his blinker, heading away from the large animal pickup call and towards his house, “Have him take Eskel. I think we’ve been called there before.”

“Oh, so you were fine going alone even though you tell everyone else not to? Great. I swear to every god, Geralt. If someone shoots you over taking their animal away I will revive you only to kill you slowly with my bare hands.”

“Jask, I’m fine-”

“Yes. I know,” Jaskier lowered his voice and Geralt could picture him waving his hands and tilting his head this way and that like he always did when he mocked him, “I’m Geralt. I’m big and scary and love animals so much I’ll throw myself into dangerous situations without thought because I’m a selfish and impulsive cock.”

“Ok-AY. I see your point. I’m on my way home.”

“Good. Wear the green shirt so you don’t blend into the backdrop.”

-

Four hours and an obligatory ‘thank you for coming, please give us money, look at all these cute animals’ speech, Geralt was finally free to have a drink and relax. Well, mostly. He still had to be professional and courteous, but Jaskier did all the schmoozing on the part of the shelter. The majority of his time at these events was spent following Jaskier around like a lost puppy. Geralt did what he needed to, told stories when asked and supplied the facts when Jaskier went a little heavy on the emotional pleas, but he took a backseat for anything that included other people. They made a great team and Geralt tried not to think about it. No point in dwelling on what you can’t have, right?

Geralt did think about how many drink tickets Lambert had been handing out as he noticed more and more couples kissing. Come to think of it, he was quite sure Melissa and Adam had divorced last year… 

He kept noticing it as Jaskier led him around the silent auction tables and nearly lost his ‘easy going host’ mask when someone shuffled up and planted a wet one on the person he was talking to. 

Jaskier rolled his eyes and pointed up at his chin, making Geralt frown and rub at his own, thinking he’d missed a spot shaving. Jaskier bit his lip in a failed attempt to hide a smile and looked where he was pointing. Geralt followed, and to his horror, most of the ceiling in the barn had little bundles of mistletoe hanging. 

There was one at every doorway, three by the food, a few over auction tables, one over every stall door, one on every support beam over the breezeway, and worst of all, one right over the table Geralt and the team were seated at. 

“Ah! Geralt, I forgot to have you sign something before you left the office.” Jaskier clapped him on the shoulder and jarred him out of his thousand yard stare as he led him away, “Excuse us.”

“The fuck is with all the mistletoe?” Geralt practically sputtered as they crunched their way across the frozen driveway, picking up the pace to get into the heated office as quick as possible. 

Jaskier shrugged, “Bert probably just wanted to up his chances of getting laid.”

Geralt set his drink down on the reception counter and plopped down in Jaskier’s chair, “Sounds like him. What did you have for me to sign?”

“Hm?” Jaskier leaned against the desk facing Geralt, eyeing his fingers drumming on the mouse pad Geralt had given him for the secret santa last year. Geralt did it every time he came into the office for more than five minutes. He’d steal Jask’s seat and tap at it, or lean over his shoulder as he was typing away and rap it with his knuckles when he left. It wasn’t extravagant by any means, it was just a picture of Geralt, Ciri, and Jaskier mimicking Roach ‘smiling’ in the background with her top lip folded back over her nostrils. But it was the closest Geralt ever came to telling Jaskier how he felt, settling instead for a shy ‘Ciri thought it was cute’ and an awkward hug. 

“You said I needed to sign something?”

Jaskier blinked a few times and refocused on Geralt, “Oh, no. You just looked like you needed a minute.” 

Geralt slumped down farther into the chair, “Thank you.”

Jaskier fiddled with the shiny buttons on his blazer, talking a little too fast to be entirely comfortable, “Oh this is completely self serving. You’re difficult to handle when you get ‘out-peopled’.”

“So you’re my handler now?” Geralt griped, a bit of sarcasm sneaking out with his words.

“Something like that,” Jaskier huffed, glancing up at Geralt through the hair falling in his eyes. 

Geralt’s breath caught in his throat and  he was suddenly more nervous than he’d been before his speech. He slapped his thighs and heaved a dramatic sigh before standing up, “We should probably get back.”

Jaskier looked up at him, a few inches lower than he usually stood while he sat against the desk. Geralt caught his eyes flickering up and his jaw clench as he tried to pretend he’d seen nothing. Following his gaze he froze.

A massive bunch of mistletoe was hung right above their heads, truly it was a miracle they’d missed it before. 

Jaskier set his drink down next to him on the desk and whispered, “There’s no one else here…”

Geralt looked down at him, tilting his head and furrowing his brows as he tried to figure out what that had anything to do with….

His heartbeat picked up as he caught on to Jaskier’s subtle suggestion, “Totally alone,” he breathed. 

His agreement hung in the air much like the mistletoe above their heads, taunting and almost permission giving, but not quite enough.

After making eye contact for far too long to be considered professional or friendly, Jaskier pushed off of the desk and for once, Geralt didn’t step back to give him space. They could rock forward onto their toes and  their noses would touch and Geralt’s heart was absolutely racing, leaving his brain somewhere in the dust. 

“You’re going to make me ask, aren’t you?” Jaskier’s breath tickled at Geralt’s throat, not close enough to be warm, but it gave him goose flesh all the same. 

“Ask what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Geralt let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, a hesitant but relieved smile spreading on his face as he nodded. Jaskier licked his lips and rested a hand on Geralt’s cheek and the other on his waist. Geralt thought he felt him shaking a bit but soon forgot all about it as he rested his own hands on Jaskier’s hips and the moment felt real. He swallowed his nerves down and leaned in just a fraction of an inch, letting Jaskier guide their lips together with the hand at his jaw. His eyes fluttered closed when he felt Jaskier’s hot breath on his lips and he was praying he wouldn’t faint before their lips even touched.

But when they finally did, it was heaven. 

Just a gentle press of skin to skin at first, careful and sweet, and the butterflies wreaking havoc on Geralt’s stomach rose to his chest. Gods, it was unreal the way such a simple kiss could undo him like this but here he was, so overwhelmed that if he didn’t do something with his hands he might cry. He slid one hand to the small of Jaskier’s back and pulled him flush to his body, pressing forward with his lips and searching for more of whatever that drug making him feel so light and warm was. Jaskier mirrored him, wrapping his arm farther around his waist and moving his other hand to the nape of his neck to pull him closer still. Geralt let his tongue dart out across Jaskier’s lips and chuckled in surprise when Jaskier countered with enthusiasm, taking over immediately. 

As he pulled away, Jaskier ran the tip of his tongue over the roof of Geralt’s mouth making him let out a shaky breath and shudder.

Geralt’s eyes snapped open and he pressed his tongue to the spot, wrinkling his nose before laughing softly, “That tickled.”

“Mhm,” Jaskier nodded and smiled, brushing his thumb over Geralt’s cheek as he searched his eyes.

“Can we do that again?” Geralt breathed, moving a hand from Jaskier’s hip to between his shoulder blades. 

Whatever he found in his inspection, Jaskier seemed satisfied, if not elated, “Hell yes.”

 Moments later, while their lips were most pleasantly locked together, Lambert and Yennefer burst through the door yelling.

“Fucking finally!” and “No! They didn’t say it! I didn’t lose! I don’t owe you shit!”

Jaskier jumped and made to step away, but Geralt kept him close, pulling him to his side but away from the door. 

Yen grinned at them and held out a palm to Lambert, “Pay up, bitch. They’re positively head over heels.” 

“What the hell guys?” Geralt snapped, more than a little on edge and embarrassed. 

Lambert grumbled as he pulled his money clip out of his slacks, “This witch slipped you a love potion and swindled me out of a nice bottle of gin.”

Yennefer preened and plucked the money out of his hand, “No such thing as magic, dear,” she cooed and tucked the money in her bra before addressing Geralt and Jaskier, “It’s almost time to call the auction and people are starting to notice you’re gone.” 

Jaskier smoothed Geralt’s hair back over his shoulder, “We can talk about it later, yeah?” His voice was soft and soothing, tempering Geralt’s usual reaction to Yen bossing him around to a mild eye roll. 

He looked down at Jaskier and kissed his forehead before grabbing his hand and heading for the door, “I’d love to.”

They talked about it over pumpkin pie at Jaskier’s place after the event. Well… talked might not be the right word…

#i am so sleep deprived but my brain said no sleep till geraskier so #do i need all the beginning exposition? prolly not #does it bring me joy thinking about Jaskier being the aggressive mother hen secretary/switchboard operator for the bois? yes. #geraskier #geraskier fic #geraskier christmas #geraskier first kiss #geraskier mistletoe #geraskier modern au #geralt runs an animal shelter #animal rescue geralt #its a vibe #thanks goob squad for the idea #it shall live rent free in my head forevermore #jaskier #geralt of rivia #the witcher #the witcher fic #the witcher christmas

[hiddennerdworld]

When You’re Close to Me w/ Katsuki Bakugou

Warnings: some tears from characters, but still just a bunch of fluff

A/N: I love this song so much. (Go listen to it now). I feel like I didn’t do it justice but whatever. This has been in my drafts forever. Idk how it turned out but here we go. Also ik it’s kinda long, don’t come after me lmao

Are you here with me? Just looking out on the day of another dream

Bakugou just started to stir awake, the sun slowly starting to beam in the window. His blurry vision came to focus on the digital clock next to him that said 5:45 AM. He sighed and flopped his spiky head back onto his pillow. He opened his eyes again slightly as he turned to face his partner next to him. God, he still can’t believe how lucky he is. Every morning he gets a little wave of relief when he sees you by his side. He’s got a little smile on his face as he holds back from just cupping your cheek and pecking you on the forehead to tell you how much he loves you. But he thinks you’re so cute and peaceful when you sleep and knows you need rest otherwise you’ll be a little brat. Instead he wraps his arm around you, closes his eyes, and hopes he falls back asleep as his mind still focuses on you.

Well, you can’t get what you want, but you can get me. So let’s set out to sea.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, baby. I couldn’t get out of it. They needed all the help they could get.” Bakugou pleaded to you while holding your hands in his. It was your 3 year anniversary and he had to cancel your plans for the evening due to a villain attack downtown.

You sniffled and looked towards the ground, limply holding his hands back. “I understand. I knew what this was going to be like, being with a hero. It’s just hard sometimes you know? I miss the days where we would spend all day together. We would go to class together, eat lunch together, visit each other’s dorms whenever we wanted. I miss you, Katsuki.”

He pulled you into a hug where he ran his hand through your hair as you buried your face into his chest. “I know. I miss you so much. Being a hero is amazing, but it’s damn exhausting, especially not having you there with me. I love you, Y/N.” He said softly as he kissed the top of your head and then rested his chin on it.

“I love you too, ‘Suki. We’ll figure things out.”

“Of course, we will. We always do. You and I are a pretty kickass team if I do say so myself.”

“Huh, you really think so?” You looked up to meet his gaze. He just nodded and hummed in reply. “Well, I do too.” You then pulled him into a sweet kiss. Something you guys had done a thousand times, but it still brought butterflies to your stomach every time. You guys remained in each other’s arms for a bit longer, just swaying slightly despite the quiet.

“You know, I may have a way to bring back the old days.” Bakugou said breaking the silence.

You looked up at him. “Oh yea? Do tell, pretty boy.”

“Well..” he cleared his throat and continued in a low tone, “I was thinking maybe we could move in together. Like when we lived in the dorms, but with no Aizawa on our backs. It’s not perfect but at least I’ll get to see my beautiful idiot more often” You thought for a few seconds just staring into space. “Nevermind, it was stu-“.

“It’s perfect.” You kissed him again. “I would love that, babe.”

“Tch- well yea, of course you would it was a great idea.” He said with a shit-eating grin on his face after getting an ego boost from you agreeing with him. You just rolled your eyes back. “I would too, though.”

Cause you are my medicine when you’re close to me. When you’re close to me

Katsuki had no idea where he was. He was lying down on a bed, staring at the stark white ceiling as his vision began to clear. When he finally regained consciousness, he jolted up realizing he didn’t know was was going on. Then, you got up from your chair that was beside him in order to calm him down. He suddenly felt a sharp pain on his side. He winced and quickly put his hand on the wound.

“Oof, honey. I was trying to prevent you from doing that. Are you okay?” You said as you softly rubbed his arm.

He listened and lied back facing toward you this time. In a low, gruff voice he responded, “Yeah, I’m fine. Where the hell are we?”

“We’re in Recovery Girl’s office. After training today you ended up getting pretty beat up and passing out.”

It was all coming back to him. It was him versus Deku. One of their last days at UA and everyone was going all out. The two were moving quickly, jumping around each other trying to dodge and land hits. Eventually they started to wear down, but you know them, they will never stop. So after a while, Midoriya was able to use a little more than 10% of One for All, causing Bakugou to crash into a wall and fall to the ground. It wasn’t over yet though. He stumbled back up while doing his signature yelling. He was setting off explosions to fly up to his opponent and land a huge hit, but midway he just passed out and ended up falling on the concrete.

“Oh, yea I remember now. THAT FUCKING DEKU!! I’M GONNA MAKE HIM PAY!!” He yelled while trying to get out of bed. You then had to get up and set him back down.

“No, no, no. Katsuki, you can’t do anything right now. You need to just relax.” You said softly while pushing him back down by his shoulders.

“But I can’t lose to him! No fucking way!” He was still attempting to get up.

“You have to let it go, Suki.” You sat back down next to him and held his hands in yours. “I understand you wanting to get even, but you can’t right now. You’ve already gone way too far today.” You take a deep breath and continue, “You’ve been worrying me. Recently you’ve exhausted yourself so many times just in training alone. I get we’re close to graduating, but you need to relax, take it easy. Exerting so much energy in an emergency, I understand, but you’re just fighting ‘stupid’ Deku. You’re not going to be doing much hero work if you’re always in the hospital.” You sighed and put your head down, “I’m sorry, Suki. I just hate seeing you hurt.”

He knew what you meant. A couple months ago you were also injured badly and had to stay in the hospital for a few days after fighting a tough villain during your internship. He could barely take it. He couldn’t do anything except be by your side. All he wanted was to see you back to being the badass you usually are.

He sat up and rubbed his thumbs on your knuckles as you continued to hold hands. “Don’t worry about me, dumbass,” he said at almost a whisper, showing how ‘dumbass’ is just his way of saying he loves you. “I can take care of myself just fine…. But as much as I hate to admit it, I know you’re right.” He said with a smug grin which didn’t go away after you hit his shoulder. “Jeez, babe I’m just kidding. Point is you’re right. I can’t just go in ready to kill some people. I need to be smart about it. I need to be able to prove myself.”

“But you already have proven yourself. In more ways than one. You can show how great you are using methods that aren’t beating the shit out of Izuku, you know?”

“But those ways aren’t as fun.” You ended up slapping him on the shoulder again as he almost died laughing.

“Can you just promise me that you won’t end up in the nurses office again?”

“Alright, I’ll try my best.” He pulled you over and gave you a kiss on the forehead, “Thanks for putting up with me. I love you.”

“I love you too, even though you give me migraines.”

And surprisingly Bakugou kept up his promise, saving himself a whole lot of pain and saving yourself a whole lot of stress.

Just looking out for the day when you’re close to me.

The heat was rising as the your second year of UA was coming to a close. For the last half of the year Bakugou was slowly accepting his feelings for you and couldn’t hold back any longer. Somehow he tolerated you more than all the other extras. Hell, he even liked spending time with you and would go out of his way to do so. He didn’t want to spend the summer without you, but he didn’t know how to approach the situation. He couldn’t risk looking soft, but then again he “doesn’t care” what other extras think. It was a position he’d never been in before and he didn’t know how to handle it.

You were in the same boat. You may have had crushes before, but not like this, and definitely not like Bakugou. It didn’t take much to notice that he was somewhat nicer to you. He did schoolwork with you and didn’t smack you upside the head. He started choosing you as his partner more often in training. And never exploded when he got he annoyed with you. Maybe he was just nice to you because you were nice to him? You didn’t want to take things the wrong way and upset him. He was so predictably unpredictable. A literal ticking bomb, but somehow he was a lovable one.

The two of you were becoming unbearable. Your friends had all been planning to get together before summer break anyway, so they decided to do some meddling.

You had just joined the Bakusquad in the common room waiting to have some fun. You and Bakugou were sitting next to each other on the couch while Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima all were chilling on the floor around the coffee table. Meanwhile, Mina was nowhere to be found.

“Ugh! Where the hell is stupid Pinkie?! I wanna get this shit over with?”

“We love you too, Kacchan.” Kaminari replies and you can head Bakugou growl next to you and you try not to laugh. “I’m sure she’ll be here any sec. She had to grab something for the super special thing she planned.” He said while wiggling his eyebrows and Bakugou just rolled his eyes. Kirishima then kicked Kaminari and whisper-yelled “Dude!” Then he turned back to you guys and said with a nervous smile, “What he means is that Mina wanted this to be the perfect hang out before we have to go back home, so she has some stuff for us.”

“I sure do!” Mina yelled as she burst in the room with her arms up.

“tch- finally” Bakugou mumbled under his breath.

“We just gotta set up and then we can do the super special thing. Sero and Kirishima wanna help me grab some stuff from the kitchen? And then the rest of you can you check to make sure we have enough room in my dorm? Great!” She gave no one time to respond and everyone just got up and followed suit.

“Wait can I use the bathroom first?! I totally gotta take a whiz!” Kaminari whined.

“Yea, just hurry up! I wouldn’t want you to miss anything! Y/N and Bakugou we’ll all meet you up there in a sec!”

Sero, Kirishima, and Mina shuffled into the kitchen while Human Pikachu bolted (lol) to the bathroom. You and Bakugou weren’t as frantic as the others but you still went with it.

When you both arrived you found Mina’s room to be totally clean. “OI, PINKIE YOU’RE RO-!” Bakugou was on the way his way out but then you saw a flash of yellow and the door slamming on Bakugou’s face.

“What the-?” Bakugou tried to turned the handle but it didn’t budge. “I SWEAR IF YOUR PLAN WAS TO PRANK US IM GONNA BURN YOUR DUMBASSES ALL TO HELL!! NOW LET US OUT!!” He banged on the door, still attempting to get out, but all he heard back was some snickers and the sound of something being put in front of the door. The Pomeranian, now angered, was still aimlessly attacking the door until he heard you sigh and flop on the bed.

Sprawled out with your hands covering your face you muttered, “Ugh, I’m sorry.”

Bakugou stopped and turned around to face you being the most confused you’ve ever seen him, “Wait... you knew about this!” He started stomping over.

You quickly sat up anticipating something to happen. “No, no I didn’t. I just.. I think I know what this is about. I think this is all because of something I said to Mina.”

You move your eyes around the room afraid to make contact with the ruby eyes of the man standing above you.

“And what’s that?”

You sigh and fidget with your fingers, “Well, I may as well say it because I don’t think we’ll get out of here otherwise. I like you, Bakugou. I have for a bit now and didn’t know what to do. So I asked Mina, and this is definitely not how I wanted to handle it so I’m sorry and-“ you were interrupted by Bakugou tilting your head up which was staring at the floor while you rambled. He quickly leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. You sat there wide-eyed. Not that it wasn’t good (it was), you were just thinking holy shit, my crush is on my face right now.

“Shit, I’m sorry I should’ve asked first. I just wanted to stop you because you don��t need to apologize. And I’m pretty sure you know this now but I like you too I guess. I don’t find you as annoying as I probably should. I haven’t for a while now.” He now was stood back up with a blush spread across his face and his one hand in this pocket with the other one rubbing the back of his neck. You stand up next to him and place your arms on his shoulders.

You giggle and say, “It’s okay. I enjoyed it. I was just surprised because I didn’t expect it from you. I actually think we should do it again.”

“Really?” He looked up as you nodded in response while biting your lip. You both then leaned in and kissed each other once more. It was definitely not as awkward as the first one. The kiss was sweet and passionate. When Bakugou feels something, he feels it wholeheartedly and it was evident in the way he was kissing you. He treated you as if you were an illusion that could shatter at any moment and he wasn’t going to take any of his time with you for granted.

You were suddenly interrupted by a loud banging on the door, “YOU LOVEBIRDS DONE IN THERE YET?!!! I ACTUALLY WANTED TO DO STUFF TONIGHT!!” Mina yelled through the door.

When you’re close to me

Bakugou woke up again but this time due to you booping his nose. “Good morning, Sunshine.” You whispered as you placed a kiss where had previously booped him. He just groaned and looked over to see the clock reading 8:30 AM. When he looked back your head was on his chest while you held onto him. He smiled a bit and pulled you in closer.

“Can we just stay like this all day, babe?” He said with his cheek pressed on the top of your head.

“Did I hear that correctly? Katsuki Bakugou said he wanted to stay in bed?! I must be dreaming still.”

“Tch, you’re such an idiot.” He chuckled and pressed a kiss onto the top of your head. “I love you though, you know that right?”

“Enough to help me make us some breakfast in bed?” You looked up at him with puppy eyes. He just sighed loudly and started to dramatically get out of bed. You soon followed and caught up to give him a hug as he grabbed stuff from the fridge. “I love you too, ‘Suki.”

#katsuki bakugou #bakugou fluff #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #mha fluff

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu boys and some oddly specific crime they’d commit

a/n: I come back and the first thing I write is a shitpost!! enjoy </3 tw for drugs, murder, alcohol and general crime committing xoxo

Karasuno

Daichi- he’s a cop sorry that’s all there is to it man

Suga- Suga has multiple charges of 1st-degree murder against him but they can’t seem to find his identity so he continues committing murder and will continue until he gets caught or ends up murdering enough people to be put in a position of power

Asahi- everyone is probably like “Oh Asahi is innocent” NO. He has learned that his slightly scary face will let him get away with a lot, he is buying alcohol illegally because he looks old enough to, and he’s buying so much other shit and just getting away with it

Nishinoya- This man gives fucking pimp vibes I can just see him in the big leopard print fur coat with a pretty girl in his lap and he calls himself big poppa but no one else will

Tanaka- Drug dealer vibes, probably runs an entire fucking drug ring with his sister and not just a Lil weed these mfkas have the hard shit too like you could probably buy meth from them, he’s not using it but it’s good business

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita- They literally rob a bank they have an entire scheme and get away with multiple bank robberies and this goes on for MONTHS

Kageyama- We know he’s volleyball smart but otherwise he’s so mfing stupid and I love him for it but he is a chronic shoplifter. Just picks something up and takes it, has walked out of a store without paying for an entire bed set once and got away with it somehow so idk props to him

Hinata- He is the little guy in any heist situation, he fits anywhere so he can sneak in and out the best, he gave himself the stupid ass code name tiny giant but everyone goes with it because somehow he is the best

Tsukishima- armed robbery, but he doesn’t have a gun just a knife like he’s tall and as an attitude, a knife will get him whatever he needs he doesn’t need the gun

Yamaguchi- He runs a catfishing scheme where he pretends to be a naive girl, scams old men out of their money, and then ghosts them and I think it’s what he deserves let him carry on especially because no one would believe it’s him. Also not really like a crime crime but still a crime in a way

Kiyoko- She kills men and I know it, Queen Kiyoko ending the patriarchy one shitty man at a time like she only kills men who deserve it bc some have rights.

Yachi- She’s too anxious to commit an in-person crime so she does a lot of cybercrime, hacking government databases and releasing info to the people, truly the anonymous we deserve

Saeko- She’s running that drug ring with Tanaka, and she loves it because there’s a thrill to it even though yknow she’s dealing literal meth but like its fine plus she loves rocking people’s shit when they get too handsy, which bring me to my next point underground MMA Saeko, like the illegal one with no rules yeah <3

Ukai- this man probably sells all kinda shit to minors that he shouldn’t he is so unbothered a 7-year-old could probably walk in ask for a pack of camels and get them and leave before he noticed what was going on.

Takeda- Did y’all see how scared Hinata was when Takeda gave him that lecture? This dude could kidnap someone and scare them into giving all the information he needed, a legend truly

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa- took steroids one time. And of course in sports, that’s not allowed. But he only did it once and regretted it for months afterward. Never told anyone and was just relieved he didn’t have to piss in a cup and have someone find out.

Matsukawa- Without hesitation, I know this man takes dead people’s bones and sells them on the internet. Has dubbed himself the bone man and he feels so much power when someone buys a femur or sumn. It’s kinda funny honestly he has a hoard of bones to sell, his fave is the pelvis.

Hanamaki- He’s in between jobs because he stole money from his last job, like he said he was sorry he just needed a little extra for gas but was sad to find out that’s a literal crime and he was laundering money.

Iwaizumi- he’s a street racer, like the fast and furious style and it’s so sexy of him like late-night races ugh to be in an expensive fast car with him where he has one hand on my thigh okay that’s enough of that.

Kunimi- Look me in the eye and tell me he does not do drugs. He does and if you don’t believe me you are wrong and I will fight you on this one. 

Kyotani- If there is a crime he will commit it for fun. Like he will do it with no hesitation. He has a record longer than twilight and I’m not sure how he is not in prison actually nvm he escaped and is  a wanted criminal lol

Shiritorizawa

Ushijima- Assault, he just reeks of getting into bar fights when he’s absolutely wasted. Like he most likely didn’t start it but he will be finishing it

Tendou- grave robbing, he just goes into the cemetery picked the oldest plots, and gets to digging. Has made thousands on dead people jewelry and probably won’t get caught, like besides the groundskeeper there’s no security he will never stop.

Semi- he breaks copyright laws on the daily. He’s sampling music in his all the time but he’s doing it so sneakily it’s fine its what deserves stream his band on Spotify right now,

Shirabu- His bangs are criminal enough. No, but he has stolen drugs from the hospital before he just wanted to try the Xanax, and yeah he could just write himself a prescription for it nut like it’s so easy to just go get some and no report it so that’s what he did.

Goshiki- y’all want me to say arson don’t you?? Fine. He commits arson multiple times and kills 7 people with fire before getting arrested and he doesn’t even feel bad so in prison he probably fucking runs a gang he is crazy.

Nekoma

Kuroo- he is a capitalist and class traitor and that’s crime enough I don’t care is he’s attractive or rich, He commits crimes daily by just existing but I still love him anyway.

Kai- Could not commit a crime he just wants to garden and live his life. Jk there’s at minimum one body in that garden let him kill a man he deserves it just let him have one dead body

Yaku- he keyed someone’s car once just because they pissed him off. Was it kuroo? Yes. But that’s fine because he also keyed Lev’s car but blamed lev for keying kuroo’s and Kuroo for keying Lev’s. He just wants to watch the world burn.

Kenma- cyberbullying but man he is mean. Like no bars held we will dig into every insecurity he can and that shit hurts and he doesn’t even feel bad about it he will just be as mean as he can if you’re not careful

Lev- his crime is being tall and dumb also doesn’t understand the economy and prints counterfeit money because why can’t we print more money? The government should get on that.

Inuoka- He released all the animals from a zoo, like snuck in one night and just let them all free, I’m surprised the tiger didn’t eat him but hey the animals are free, there’s still some missing uh oh he’s very proud of himself for it. After the rush, he starts sneaking into shelters and freeing all the dogs and cats

Yamamoto and Fukunaga- Have egged a house before, it was Kuroo’s he deserves all this bullying and you can’t stop me.

Date Tech

Aone- Criminal Conspiracy, sure he had an entire foolproof plan to get away with the perfect crime but someone found out, and now his plans are ruined, damn </3 and no one ever suspects the quiet guy either.

Futakuchi- Having a prostitute, he just wanted some company like mans is lonely so he paid a girl to just spend a Lil time with him it’s all good.

Fukurodani

Bokuto- I know we all haha funny laugh at tax evader bokuto and sure maybe he evades his taxes but he’s also committed vehicular manslaughter, he cannot drive and has killed someone with his car maybe even multiple someones but he always drives off in a panic because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Akaashi- Hasn’t actively committed a crime but has been an accomplice in every vehicular manslaughter Bokuto has committed why the fuck does he keep letting bokuto drive? He really needs to stop that.

Konoha- A master scammer he is so convincing everyone gives him money even if they’re a little sus because he’s just that good each scheme is so convincing.

Inarizaki

Kita- He grows weed, you can’t tell me those rice fields are just for rice he’s got all this space he is growing marijuana and selling it, let him do it I want him to be my plug.

Atsumu- "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."

Osamu- resisting arrest. He just said no and ran. Granted he shouldn’t have punched the cop in the first place to have to be arrested but like that’s not the point here.

Aran- accidental child abandonment, like he just forgot he was babysitting and left the kid alone for like a day. He felt terrible but he still forgot the kid and now is fearful of parenthood

Suna- owns an illegal weapon, like he just never registered it and keeps it around and would use it if needed Suna please just point the weapon at me maybe

Others

Terushima- Graffiti, he loves painting on the walls of buildings and tagging them, has so much spraypaint and his day isn’t complete if he doesn’t tag at least one building or train car.

Daishou- Public intoxication- he got a little too fucked up and stripped on the street he will forever have to live with everyone knowing he has an ass tattoo like damn bruh

Sakusa- Perjury he simply wanted to get out of court so he said some shit so he could leave granted he lied under oath but whatever, did they ever find out? No, so he’s fine and he’d do it again if it meant he could leave faster. Like sure he was a witness to a murder but bruh he pretends he does not see.

Hoshihumi- driving without a license he simply thought you didn’t need one because why do you need a piece of plastic to say you can drive a car like??? Just know how to drive it.

#em writes #Yall miss me lmao #hoshihumi #sakusa #Daishou #Terushima #Suna #aran #atsumu #osamu #Kita #Ushijima #Tendou #Goshiki #Shirabu #Semi #Oikawa #Iwaizumi #Matsukawa #Hanamaki #Kunimi #Kyotani #Mad Dog #Bokuto #Akaashi #Konoha #Kuroo #Kai #Yaku #Lev

[spicyteez]

Deal

Smut

Gang Boss (+ Sugar daddy) San x Fem Reader 

Word Count: 6.1k

Warnings: There’s a lot. Idk, Sir kink, dirty talk, sensory deprivation, oral (m & f receiving), clit slapping, spanking, choking, multiple positions, dom! san (not too wild though), cum eating. I hope I didn’t miss anything 

A/N: Hello lovelies! This is my first smut and I hope it isn’t trash. I’ve been quite sick recently so this might not be good at all, but I hope you like it nonetheless :) I tried to proofread it, but I am sorry for any mistakes. 

Forty thousand dollars. That's how much debt your father left behind. By your calculations it would take years, maybe even decades to pay it back with your meager salary. Sure, owning your own bakery had always been a dream of yours, but business had been slowing down considerably. Letting out a sigh, you pushed the papers aside and moved to help a customer who had just entered. 

“How may I help you? You put on a happy face despite hoping the man would leave quickly

“Miss y/n?” His deep voice echoed throughout the empty shop. You had to be honest, the man intimidated you a bit. Clad completely in black and quite tall, his penetrating gaze gave you an unsettling feeling. 

“This is her.” You tried your best to keep your voice from shaking. 

“There is someone who’d like to talk to you concerning your father’s debt.” The smile fell from your face and you frowned slightly. 

“Who?” 

“Come with me.” Shakily, you took off your apron and instructed your employees to close up for the day.

You followed the man out the door and towards a black car parked across from your store. This was crazy. Should you even trust this man? He could be leading you off to murder you for all you knew. Opening the door for you, the man allowed you to slide in before closing the door and moving to the driver’s seat. 

“Don’t worry.” His eyes found yours in the rear view mirror. “I’m not going to hurt you.” 

Nodding your head in response, you tore your eyes away from his and looked out the window. It did you no good, however, as you realized that the windows were blacked out. You sat in the car for twenty minutes, wondering where the man could possibly be taking you. The car came to a stop and you took in your surroundings. An empty parking lot sat before you with crumbling and abandoned buildings littering the outskirts. He had taken you to the edge of town. Nothing resided here except for criminals and… gangs. Your door opened and you jumped in surprise. Looking up at the man, you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“Come on,” His demanded gruffly. Quickly, you scrambled from the car and stood before him on shaky legs. “Follow me.” He lead you across the parking lot and down an old cement staircase towards a group of high rise buildings. Struggling to keep up with his long strides, you hopped over the shattered remnants of a revolving glass door. After maneuvering your way across the ground floor, you made your way up a rickety staircase guarded by two men. They gave the man a nod and he began his climb up the staircase. When you reached the top, you couldn’t help but gasp. While the rest of the building was in shambles, the second floor was in pristine condition. Intricate gold wallpaper adorned the walls and a grand chandelier hung from the ceiling. Rich mahogany lined the room and ran towards a door on the opposite end of the hall. 

The man gestured for you to keep up as he made his way towards the door. Knocking on the frame, he stood back when someone cracked it open. He leaned forward and whispered something you couldn’t catch. The door swung open and you were lead into a grand room filled with immeasurable luxuries. You stared in awe at the grandeur of the room, almost missing how the man had knocked on another door directly to your left. He spoke to someone inside the room, gesturing to where you were standing. 

“Good work, Mingi. Send her in.” 

The man, Mingi, stood aside so you could enter the room. Your palms began to sweat and you wondered what exactly you were in for. Stepping into the room, you saw the man Mingi had just spoken to. He sat at a desk and seemed to be studying a piece of paper. A stripe of silver ran through his slicked back ebony hair, attracting your gaze. His aura was strong, something you couldn’t ignore. Undoubtedly, he was powerful. When he looked up you froze, trapped under the weight of his gaze. His eyes left yours to scan your body, stopping when he met your eyes once again. A slight smirk played across his lips and he leaned back in his seat. 

“Y/n, I presume?” 

You nodded slowly, “Yes.” 

“Choi San,” He greeted you. “I heard you’re in a bit of a bind.” He tilted his head to the side and continued to look at you with his deep gaze. 

“That would be correct.” 

“You’ve come to the right place, Miss y/n. I can help you.” 

“How so?” He certainly looked powerful and wealthy, but what was the catch? 

“I knew your father.” 

How could he? You started at him in shock. There was no way your father would associate with someone like this.

“I assure you I’m telling the truth.” Standing from his desk, he slowly paced the room. “My father thought of him as a great friend, although he often disapproved of his spending habits.” He cocked his eyebrow at you. 

You tried to wrap your mind around it all. Maybe it was possible, your father had been a bit of a wildcard, hanging around strange places and spending exorbitant amounts of money. 

“Now I’m prepared to offer you a deal. Your father was a kind man and I'd hate to see his family suffer because of his actions. I’ll grant you the money and in return you grant me favors.”

Clearing your throat, you found your voice. “What type of… favors?” 

He looked up at you. “Sex.” Smirking at your sudden intake of breath, he continued. “We meet once a week and I pay you after each time. In five months, your debt will be paid and our deal will end.” 

“So-so you want to be my sugar daddy?” This whole thing was a little ridiculous. 

He chuckled. “Essentially, yes. I’ll give you a week to get me an answer.” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Should you do this? 

Sure, you had contemplated finding a sugar daddy a few times, but a gang boss? Should you really fuck a man who had so much power? 

Checking the mail again, you weren’t surprised to find another notice from the bank. You had done all you could, but you were hundreds short of the payment due in less than a week. If you couldn’t come up with the money, you’d lose everything you had, including the bakery you’d worked so hard to start. Thinking the deal over for days, you had run through all the pros and cons several times. Maybe taking his deal was the only option. 

Steeling your nerves, you made a decision. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. You reached for the paper with the number Mingi had given you. Typing in the number, you pressed talk and held your breath. 

The line picked up and you felt your heart race. “Have you decided to accept?” A man’s voice spoke on the other end of the line. 

“Yes.” You spoke as confidently as you could. 

“Mr. Choi will send for you right away.” 

You stepped into his office once again less than an hour later. San sat at the desk as usual, wearing his same black attire. 

Without looking up, he spoke. “I hear you decided to take me up on my offer.” 

“Yep.” Rocking on your heels, you looked around the office. “They said you had a contract for me to sign.” 

“Have a seat.” Looking at you for the first time since you arrived, he gestured to a chair in front of him and set a piece of paper before it. 

Sinking into the plush fabric of the chair, you took the chance to observe him up close. He was attractive. Really attractive. You noticed details you weren't able to catch upon your first meeting, such as his fine jewelry and a line of freckles trailing down his neck. If anything, his presence was even more intimidating the closer you got to him.  

You took a moment to read over the paper, searching for anything unreasonable. Everything he had said was there, a five month agreement with the right amount stated. However, one line in particular caught you off guard. “Mr. Choi has the right to dictate the events of every meeting?” You looked at him for clarity. 

“It means that I’m in charge, sweetheart.” The same smirk graced his lips. 

“Really?” Folding your arms, you leaned back a little. 

“There will be a safe word in place of course, but I call the shots.” 

The idea sent a tingle down your spine. It had been a while since you had submitted to someone. Nodding your head, you thought it over for a moment. Hopefully this wouldn’t end badly. “Where do I sign?” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days later was your first meeting. You anxiously adjusted your outfit as you waited for Mingi to come pick you up. It was only eight o'clock and you wondered just how long you'd be out. Your mind started racing, thinking about what he wanted to do to you. The thought of him touching you shouldn't have affected you as much as it did. 

The doorbell rang and you jumped. Opening the door, you gave Mingi a nod. "Let's go." 

Mingi noticed you fidgeting in your seat awkwardly as he drove you to your destination. "Are you nervous?" 

You stopped moving and looked up at him in the mirror. "No. Okay, maybe."

"Just a warning, he likes it kinda...Rough." he trailed off at the end and a faint blush covered his cheeks, almost matching the color of his fiery hair. The sight made you laugh a little and calmed your nerves a bit. 

"I actually think he's excited."

"Oh?" 

The thought of him being excited for your meetings had your insides heating up and sent an ache through your core. What girl doesn't dream of being fucked by a powerful and mysterious man? 

A few more minutes passed until Mingi led you into the building once again. This time however, instead of leading you to San's office, he took you further into the building until you stood before a set of french doors. 

"This is the master's suite. Knock when you're ready." You gave him a nod and he walked away quickly. 

Squaring your shoulders and taking a deep breath, you decided you were as ready as you would ever be and you knocked on the door. 

“Come in.” His voice, although muffled by the doors, sent shivers down your spine. Slowly, you pushed open one of the doors. 

Just as you had expected, the grandeur of the room was overwhelming. Everything from the massive bed with beautiful sheets and freshly fluffed pillows to the ornate chandelier hanging above the bed left you in awe. 

“Like what you see?” San walked into the room carrying a bottle of wine. Contrasting the harsher clothing you had seen him wearing during previous visits, he wore only a simple t-shirt and a pair of sweats, both of which were still his classic black. He looked relaxed and at ease, the only thing indicating otherwise was the bulge in his pants. You felt a little overdressed in the tight dress you had picked out, but from the way he was eyeing you, it might have been a good decision. 

“It’s beautiful.” You crane your head to take in the room once again. 

He chuckled faintly and the sound was like music to your ears. “Come here.” It took you a second to process his request, still looking around the room, and he called out again in a sterner tone. “Here.” Rushing to stand by him, you moved quickly as to not make him unhappy. “Sit down.” You complied and sat on the bed, looking up into his intense gaze. “There will be a few rules I expect you to follow each time you come over, understand?” He cocked his eyebrow at you and waited for you to nod. “You will address me as 'sir' at all times. If you fail to refer to me as so, you will be punished.” Looking at you again, he waited for your confirmation. When you gave him a simple nod again, he shook his head. “Use your words.” 

Gulping, you forced your tongue to move. “Yes S-sir.”

His signature smirk was back. “Good girl.” 

Your breath hitched and you felt your core grow wet at the pet name. “Second rule.You come up with the safe word every night. You will tell me at the beginning of each of our sessions. If you ever feel uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to use the word and I’ll stop.” 

“Yes Sir.” 

“And finally. No staying over. Mingi or another driver will take you home every night.” 

You agreed to his final rule and steadied yourself for what was to come. 

“Alright. Let’s begin.”  

He instructed you strip for him and lay on the bed as he walked to an adjacent room and searched around for a bit. Quickly, he returned with a box that he set down on the edge of the bed. As he took a second to scan your body, you noticed the way he bit his lip as he took in your bare form. “I’ll take things a little slow tonight, it wouldn’t be fair for me to jump right into it, would it?” 

“No, sir.” He nodded in approval at your response. 

You tried not to squirm under his scrutiny as he opened the box and pulled out three silk ties. So this is what he’s into. Placing the ties on the bed, he set the box on the floor and pulled his shirt over his head. Trying not to stare at the muscles in his back and chest, you scanned his lean body and had to admit that he was really well built. As he turned to face you again, you watched his movements as he approached you. “Can I touch you?” His eyes were softer when he looked at you, as if he was assuring you that you were in safe hands. 

“Please sir.” It may have sounded a little desperate, but you were aching to be touched. Watching the way his arms flexed as he moved around the room and the way he carried himself had you clenching around air. You needed him in you.

Running his fingers up your calf, he relished in the way you squirmed beneath his hands. Admittedly, this had been a fantasy of his since the day you walked into his office, the need to have you under his fingertips and to do with you as he pleased grew stronger each time he thought of you. “What’s the safe word?” 

You looked around the room and blurted out the first word that came to your mind. “V-velvet.”

“Velvet.” He purred. “Perfect.”  

Fingers reaching your knees, he spread your legs apart and gazed at your exposed core. You noticed the shift in his eyes, the already dark irises swimming with something heady and lust filled. Taking a single finger, he slid it up your slit, collecting your wetness. “You’re so wet for me. I didn't even need to touch you.” A mewl escaped your throat before you could stop it, and you fought the blush staining your cheeks. 

His eyes snapped to yours and your breath hitched. “Do that again.” This time he used brought two fingers to your soaked entrance, swirling over your sensitive clit before sliding inside you. You choked out a loud whimper and gasped as he began to curl his fingers upward. In no time, he hit a spot within you that had you seeing stars. He was eliciting long, drawn out moans from you as he continued and began to circle your clit with his thumb. Shaking and moaning, you bucked your hips up to meet his fingers. “That’s it. Get off on my fingers baby.” His words kindled a fire in your stomach and you quickly approached your high. “Cum for me. Cum on my fingers.” The words sent you over the edge and you threw your head back in a silent scream. He helped you to ride out your high, his fingers continuing to pump into you. Soon the pleasure turned unbearable and the sensation too uncomfortable. Your whines of pleasure turned to whines of overstimulation as he continued to push you past your limits. When the pain began to sink back into pleasure and as you felt another orgasm bubbling up, he pulled his fingers out and left you empty. You almost whined in frustration, missing the presence of his fingers immediately. 

Wiping your release on his sweatpants, he walked around to where he had laid the silk ties. Picking up one, he walked to the top of the bed and took your wrist into his hand. Tying the silk securely, he attached one end to the bedframe and the other to your wrist. Once he had tested to make sure the bond was strong, he moved to the other side of the bed and did the same to your other wrist. Walking to the middle of the room, he dropped his sweatpants and boxers, freeing his hardened length. He was bigger than you had figured after agreeing to the arrangement, and the memory of fantasizing about his dick brought redness to your cheeks. 

Running his hand from base to head, you gasped as he began to pump himself in his hand. Looking up at you with that same deep gaze, he made eye contact with you and you almost had to look away. Letting go of his cock, he moved towards you once more. Taking your chin in his hand, he kissed you harshly, letting his tongue invade your mouth and biting down hard on your lip as he pulled away. Struggling to catch your breath, you watched as he took the last silk strand and ordered you to lift your head. Tying the fabric behind your head, he was careful not to catch any of your hair in the knott. With your field of vision completely obstructed, you felt your senses launch into overdrive. You sensed him moving near you and you wanted nothing more than for him to reach out and touch you. Moments later, you felt the weight of his body settle on either side of yours on the bed. Without warning he rammed his cock into your abused slit and your body convulsed wildly at the sudden intrusion. You moaned wantonly, paying no heed to whoever could be listening. The way he hit so deep and filled you so good was the only thought on your mind as he thrusted into you over and over again. 

You weren’t going to last long, and he knew it too. Leaning down to tickle your ear with his lips, he encouraged you along. Every nerve ending was on fire, his scent along with the brush of his hair on your skin driving you mad. Deep and sultry in your ear, the slight hitch in his voice was the only indicator of the pleasure he was experiencing. “I know you’re close baby. Let go.” His words had the same affect on you and you fell over the edge again, clenching around his cock and moaning wildly. A groan escaped San’s lips and you decided it was perhaps the prettiest sound you had ever heard. 

As you came down from your high, you expected him to pull out and give you a moment to breathe. It would seem you were wrong from the way he continued to thrust into you, even faster if that was somehow possible. The feeling of overstimulation filled your senses again, heightened this time. You groaned at the sensation, needing him to stop, needing him to pull out. 

Breathing heavily, you pleaded with him to stop. “Sir.. please. Please stop. I-I can’t.”

“You can take more, can’t you baby? Take everything I give you.” He growled into your neck, his fingers coming to rub at your sensitive bundle of nerves. Crying out, you felt the pain ease into pleasure and the knot snap as a solid thrust hit your sweet spot. You clenched around him again wildly, this time throwing him over the edge as well. Hot ropes of cum painted your walls as he bit into your shoulder. Whining at the pain, you clenched around him again, milking his cock and riding him through his orgasm. 

When you both came down from your highs, panting heavily, he pulled out and the cold air hitting your pussy made you whimper. You felt sticky and gross and wanted someone to hold you as you came down from your post orgasm bliss. San gently untied your wrists, smoothing over where the silk had made indentations as you pulled against your bonds. He finished by slipping the makeshift blindfold from your eyes and the sight you were met with was not disappointing to say the least. His hair stuck to his forehead, damp from sweat and his chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath. You wished you could stay there and watch him forever. 

“You did well. Get cleaned up, Mingi will be ready to go in five minutes. You’ll have the money within the hour.” 

He walked away from you, tossing you a towel and leaving you feeling empty. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day you could hardly walk, a reminder of the good fucking you had recieved the night before. As you tried to sleep, you couldn't stop thinking about how it felt to be touched and the way his voice sounded. You'd be lying if you said you weren't looking forward to your next session. 

As you limped into work that morning, you waved hello to your favorite employee, Jongho. He took in the poorly concealed bite mark on your shoulder and the way you waddled in and he began to smirk. "What's gotten into you? Or should I say who?" 

“Jongho. Don’t,” You warned him. He laughed at your response, enjoying his ability to joke with you. 

“Was he good though?” He asked you, an edge of seriousness creeping into his question. 

Letting out a sigh, you answered honestly. “Was it good? It was heavenly.” 

His face fell a little as you answered. You had always suspected he was harboring a little crush on you and you felt a little bad for talking about another guy. 

Regaining his composure, he grinned mischievously. “Heavenly. Wow. Must’ve been really good.”  

The next week you tried to play down your excitement when Mingi came to pick you up. Although he could tell there was something up. 

“Damn. The dick is really that good?” 

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes at him, finding Mingi to be funnier each time you met him. 

In no time you were on San’s bed, naked with him between your legs. His tongue worked at your slit, alternating between quick sucks to your clit and long licks probing at your entrance. Your fingers moved to his hair without thinking and you tugged at the dark strands. Immediately you knew you had done something wrong. Halting his actions completely, he looked up at you with stern eyes. “What did I say, baby?” 

“No-no touching tonight.” Swallowing thickly, you watch him tilt his head to the side. 

“Have you forgotten how to address me? Say it again.” You swallowed again, trying to form the words. He grew impatient, landing a light slap to your clit. You mewled at the stimulation, fingers digging into the sheets. “I’m sorry Sir. It won’t happen again, Sir.” 

“It better not.” Diving back in, he continued with vigor, bringing you to the first of many orgasms that night.  

Time passed quickly, falling into a routine of work along with the added nights of pleasure. Your bakery picked up a little and profits were slowly getting better. 

If things were picking up at work, that was an understatement for how your nights with San went. You began to truly understand what Mingi meant when he said that San liked it “rough.” He was definitely into a lot of stuff, trying out a new kink almost every time you came over. From one extreme to the next, he loved pushing you to your limits. One night he would have you shaking from overstimulation, wracking your body with orgasm after orgasm. The next week he would have you begging for him to let you cum, taking you to the edge and pulling away for hours. Out of all the positions you’ve tried you had to admit classic missionary was your favorite. Feeling his body rest on yours as he pounded you into the mattress, looking into his dark eyes as he fucked you into oblivion, it felt so good. Sometimes he’d let you touch him and would allow you to wrap your arms around his solid shoulders or play with his hair. All of this was nothing you could admit to him of course, this was strictly a business arrangement. 

One night, halfway into the third month of your meetings, you arrived at his place at the scheduled time. Mingi had warned you that San wasn’t in a very good mood, something about how a rival gang leader had really pissed him off. You were waiting patiently in his room when he slammed the door open, causing you to jump. Throwing off his shirt, he sat down against the headboard and beckoned you to him. “Safeword?” He asked. Clearly he was beyond frustrated, his jaw was clenched and his eyebrows furrowed deeply. 

“Um.. Treasure.” You sat on the edge of the bed, ready for his command. 

“Treasure. Sure.” He nodded his head. “You have two minutes to make me cum.” Looking you dead in the eyes, his tone left no room for argument. 

The longer you had been with him, the more outspoken you had become, oftentimes loving the punishment. You decided to mess with him a bit. “How am I supposed to do that, Sir?” You gave him an incredulous look. 

Scoffing, he shook his head and looked at you with fiery eyes. “I don’t know. Suck me off, use your pretty little hands. I’m sure you can come up with something in that head of yours.” His tone hit a little harder than he had probably intended it to but you shook it off, he was just stressed. 

“Okay Sir.”  

You decided to go slowly, just to spite him. Using your hands to stroke his length until he was hard. Continuing to stroke him, you licked from the base to his tip, swirling your tongue around his head. Taking him into your mouth, you began to suck lightly, giving him just enough pressure to drive him mad. His eyes remained trained on the clock above the bed, watching the seconds tick down and becoming increasingly frustrated. When he tried to push your head onto his length and make you deep throat him you denied his wishes, instead continuing to suck his tip lightly. After a second attempt to push you onto his length was blocked, he growled and flipped you over, forcing you onto all fours with your ass in the air.  Without warning he slammed into you, slapping your ass and kneading your cheeks. He grunted into your ear, whispering words of anger. “You brat. Maybe this will teach you to behave. Bad girls don’t get rewards.” His hand wrapped around your throat, pressing down to constrict your air flow. 

As he continued to slam into you, you felt a painful burn begin to take over. You weren’t wet enough to take him yet and you couldn’t possibly continue like this. It felt as if you were being ripped in half, the pain becoming too much to bear. As good as you could with his hand pushing down on your throat, you choked out your safeword. “T-trea- treasure.” He stilled immediately, pulling out and helping you to turn onto your back. You choked and brought your fingers to your neck, feeling hot tears run down your face. 

“I’m so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have taken out my anger on you. I’m sorry.” He looked beyond concerned, scared that he would do such a thing to you. Leaning forward, he wiped your tears away, and almost pulled you into his arms until he thought better of it. 

“San.” you gasped out, calling him by his real name for the first time. “You didn’t mean to. I’m okay.” 

“I shouldn’t have...“ He whispered, still staring at you wide-eyed. 

“Can I… can I stay?” You asked him, wanting to stay, hoping he would hold you after what had just happened. 

The question brought him back into reality and he shook his head. “No. Take as long as you need and I’ll have Mingi get ready to take you home.” 

He left you, walking out the door and leaving you naked on his bed. Tears fell from your eyes, your body shaking from sobs. You knew you weren’t supposed to fall for him, but here you were. Nothing could take away the pain of being rejected, the pain of being seen as just another meeting to be checked off his list. You had hoped that maybe he was beginning to feel the same way. But of course not, life hardly ever seemed to go in your favor.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your next few meetings were awkward to say the least. He was more cautious with you, always making sure he wasn’t being too rough with you. He still put his all into the sex, getting himself off but making sure you still felt just as good. You wanted to admit your feelings to him but you were too scared of the inevitable rejection. He was a gang leader for fucks sake and you were the owner of a dinky little bakery. He was definitely out of your league and the power he held intimidated you to say the least.

The last week of the agreement came and you were told to come a little later than usual. After getting a ride from Mingi, you tentatively knocked on San’s door. Tonight was quite possibly the last night you would ever see him and preparing yourself for that reality was hard. 

“Come in.” You heard his familiar voice through the door. 

Pushing the door open softly, you saw him sitting on the bed. He looked tired and worn down with several bruises all over his body. Your heart panged at the sight. “Come here.” Motioning for you to come over, he sat up straighter against the headboard, grunting in pain.  Crawling across the bed, you sat in front of him and played with the hem of your shirt. “What happened to you sir?” Looking at him with concern in your eyes, you heard him chuckle lowly.

“Just a fight. Nothing to worry about baby girl.”  Reaching forward, he took your hand and gently pulled you towards him, forcing  you to straddle him. 

“We don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to Sir.” Although you were looking forward to the sex, making sure he was comfortable was a bigger priority. 

“It’s okay baby. I want to.” Running his fingers up your arms, he spoke quietly, a stark contrast to his usually authoritative tone. “I want you to ride me.” 

Lifting his hips, he struggled to push his pants down his hips. “Let me help you, sir.” You helped him slide off his pants and boxers and quickly removed your clothes as well. Pulling off his shirt, you allowed your fingers to faintly trace the rises and dips of his muscles, stopping yourself so he wouldn’t reprimand you. Beginning to grind on him, you whimpered when he let out a long groan. When you told him were wet enough, he motioned for you to lift your hips and slide onto his length. You positioned yourself and slowly sunk down around him, crying out as his teeth sunk into your shoulder to muffle his moans like usual. Once you felt your body adjust, you began to move at the usual pace San set, feeling your legs tiring quickly. 

“Wait,” He motioned for you to slow down, his hands halting your hips. “Slowly. I want to feel you.” He held your hips tight and guided you to slowly rock on him. You could feel every ridge of his cock as he slid out slightly and pushed back in. This felt different. He had never wanted to take it slow before and you couldn’t help but wonder why tonight was different. Instead of fucking, this felt a lot more like making love and your heart swelled at the thought. 

As you continued to rock your hips, you felt him hit particularly deep and you both moaned in ecstasy. Throwing his head back, he choked out a breath. “Fuck- I love you.” 

Halting your movements, you looked him deep in the eyes. “Really?” 

“I do. So much.” Wrapping his arms around your body, he pulled your chest to his. His lips met yours in a passionate kiss, tenderly nipping at your lips.  Pulling back, he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, taking in how beautiful you looked like this. His eyes were gentle and loving. “I should have told you sooner. I was too big of a fucking idiot to see how much you meant to me.” 

Bucking his hips into yours again, his tip grazed a spot that had you gasping for breath. “Oh Sir.” Threading your fingers in his hair, you ran your hands through his dark locks like you’ve always loved to do. “I love you too.” 

Continuing to buck his hips upwards, he helped guide your hips to better grind on his dick. His lips moved to your neck, pressing sweet kisses from your collarbones to your jaw. Wrapping his fingers around your breast, he gently tugged on your nipple, sucking in a breath when you whined. 

“I love the sounds you make.” His voice was ragged and labored, you could tell he was close. “Shit- your voice is like music to my ears. Say my name baby. Not ‘Sir.’ My real name baby.” 

“S-san.” You whimpered out, drunk on the way he whispered to you. 

“Fuck.” 

Bracing yourself on his chest, you moved your hips a little faster, feeling the familiar pressure building in your stomach.“No one else can take my cock like you do. No one else tastes as good as you do.” Moving your hips erratically, you moaned when he pressed his fingers to your clit, slowly rubbing circles into the nub. “Cum for me baby. Let me feel you cum on my cock.” With one last stroke of your hips and circle of his fingers, you felt yourself fall apart the same time he released his load deep within you. “I love you, I love you, I love-” He moaned out and you whimpered at his words, cutting him off by connecting your lips with his. You rode out your orgasms, stopping when the sensation became too much. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he looked at you with eyes full of adoration. “Please stay.”  

All you ever wanted was to stay the night, for him to hold you and give you a sense of protection. “Of course, baby.” You smile down at him gently, whimpering when he lifted you off of his length.

Feeling your combined releases trickle down your legs, you watched as he ran his finger along your slit, moaning as he collected some of the weness. Bringing his finger to his mouth, he sucked it clean and hummed. “So sweet.” Cupping his face in your hands, you leaned forward to press a slow kiss to his lips, tasting yourself on his tongue and feeling his hands rest at your waist as he kissed you back. Allowing him to pull you down to the mattress with him, you broke away from his lips and helped him cover your bodies with the fine sheets. Tucking your head into his neck, he let you run your fingers through his hair, shutting his eyes at the comforting feeling. “Good night San.” You whispered, hearing him hum in response as he pulled you closer to him. Settling into his embrace, you felt him press one last kiss to your neck before you fell into a deep sleep.  

#im just gonna post this and go hide #i want people to read this but at the same time im scared of people reading it kajdlkfj #ateez smut #san smut #my fic #ateez imagine #san imagine #ateez fan fiction

[joisbishmyoga]

A friend has convinced me that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril.

- glowing rock

- similar sizes probably. fit on giant evil crowns and in hobbit pockets alike.

- ppl went war-crazy over them

- one of them was lost to a fiery pit

- a lone mountain is very likely to be a former volcano

- Middle-Earth's timeline is stupid in a geological sense anyway so SURE there's plenty of time between the First and Third Ages for a volcano to die and get turned into a dwarven city-state why the heck not ლ(ಠ_ಠ ლ)

This lends itself to a particular logical progression:

- the dwarven lords swore their obedience to the rock, not the line of Durin, after it was found

- this is why they could refuse to go with Thorin to retake Erebor

- this is also why it was so damn important for Thorin to get the Arkenstone specifically ASAP, instead of "eh we'll find it eventually while we're sorting through the treasury"

- they didn't originally intend to slay the dragon as a group of 14, they meant to get the Arkenstone, go back, and command all the dwarves to come attack Smaug

- ANYWAY a key feature of a silmaril is that it burns anyone who doesn't have the right to possess it

- so when Bilbo is like "here's the Arkenstone", Thranduil is like "what the fUCK that is a SILMARIL Gandalf WHAT" and Gandalf is like "WHAT THE FUCVK i mean MY AREN'T HOBBITS INTERESTING LITTLE FELLOWS what the fuck what the fuck"

- and then Thranduil is like "well it isn't burning him so that makes him the rightful owner"

- and then someone, probably one of the dwarves, it would be kind of hilarious if it was Fili or Kili but it could also be Nori (very savvy), Ori (a scribe) or... I think it was Balin who was responsible for teaching the princes things like history idk, ANYWAY one of the dwarves is like "wait doesn't that make Bilbo King of the Dwarves?"

- Thorin is shocked out of his gold madness by the fact that actually no he isn't King Under the Mountain

- "Maybe you can be Consort Under the Mountain if you apologize nicely enough."

- "... Apologizing nicely? Uncle Thorin?"

- "Good point. I guess we'll never be princes again, Kili."

And so Bilbo fixes everything with hobbity practicality and also offends tf out of Thranduil and Gandalf and the dwarves without them being able to do anything about it.

- The dwarves love that Bilbo told Thranduil, very loudly, in front of the entire elven army, that he can fuck right off though his elves are welcome to return to sell food, and he will get his stupid starlight pebbles AFTER all the ACTUAL priorities of feeding and housing everyone, and going through Erebor to assess the city's structural integrity, and washing and uncursing the hoard, and actually sorting through it for Laketown's money and paying the food merchants and dividing heirlooms from liquid assets and etc etc etc have been addressed. And every time Thranduil behaves like a sulky fauntling, his stupid rocks go down one slot on the very. very. long list of priorities.

- (The dwarves are much less pleased to have all the wealth of Erebor called "rocks" and "pebbles" and "mathoms".)

- so get this army off my doorstep NOW Thranduil, or do we have to send missives to all of Middle-Earth that you are an oathbreaker as should've been done a century ago.

- You know. When you broke your treaty of mutual aid to the kings of Erebor. And left thousands of innocent, traumatized survivors to starve to death. It's one thing to refuse to enter a lost battle. It's something entirely different to refuse to help the refugees. Children starved, Thranduil. CHILDREN.

- p.s. You have no idea how badly you, and by extension all of Mirkwood, have offended all of Bilbo's hobbity morals here, Thranduil.

- if Bilbo was even the slightest bit more vindictive, Thranduil would have to abdicate and Legolas would have to rebuild all of Mirkwood's diplomatic ties with a severe handicap. Oathbreaker is a SERIOUS THREAT given what we've seen of Middle Earth societies.

- so considering the Arkenstone just got revealed as a Silmaril, putting that memory right at the top of everyone's minds, there should be PLENTY of elves either old enough or educated enough right there to make the connection between "bloody war over the silmaril rocks" and "bloody war over the starlight rocks" and want NOTHING to do with it tyvm

- Bilbo like "we will NOT be housing anybody in the mountain but the original Company before we've inspected each space for structural safety, no even we aren't just wandering around the mountain willy-nilly, the dragon broke a lot of stuff and a big enough rock fall will break even a dwarf's thick head"

- Bilbo also like "for valar's sake, Bard, take your mob home, set them to salvaging what you can of Laketown and Dale, send messengers to your trading partners that there's a lack of food and enough money to pay for it up here, and bring the salvage up so we can build you all shelters for the winter"

- Bilbo like yes OBVIOUSLY i'm going to feed and house you all, how dare you have to ask

- Bilbo setting Gandalf to breaking rocks on the lee side of the mountain so they need less salvage to build with, oh I'm sorry did you want to help shovel dragon dung instead, ah yes that's what I thought

- idk what this does for the orc army but that's not the point

Bilbo: Seriously, Thranduil, what do you care if it takes another century or two to get some pretty rocks. You're an ELF. You're already fifty thousand years old or something ridiculous like that. Bilbo: You basically let thousands die and went to war over the equivalent of a one-month delay in shipping.

Now, if he'd had ANY sense, instead of being a Karen... Thror: Nope I'm keeping them MINE ALL MINE ALL THE GOLD IS MINE Thranduil: . . . Thranduil: Eh, you'll die off soon enough. I'll just call your descendents until one is sane enough to honor the contract.

Thranduil: We elves have songs longer than this shipping delay. Thranduil: I think I'll go listen to one.

But that did not happen! Instead it was more

Legolas like "dad could u stop being so horrible u are embarrassing our entire family"

Legolas like "dad stop screaming at the teenage cashier over your 25 cent coupon"

Thranduil: I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER

Fili and Kili: ooooh, he wants to speak to the manager~ Bilbo: I AM THE MANAGER

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

#kpop #kpop angst #kpop scenarios #kpop boy #stray kids #stray kids angst #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids au #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin angst #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #hyunjin x y/n #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin fluff #ending scene #iu #alachi mind puke

[sewnblade]

The Manslayer

A/N HI GUYS.... this is new for me. mainly just doing this to have an outlet for my self indulgent bullshit. <3  might do a few chapters of this but IDK??

TW: anything you’d see on peaky blinders is game. nothing graphic happens in this at all, but references to murder, parent death and abuse. 

 Humans- real ones- wouldn't conduct themselves this way.

Wouldn’t have had to be locked away, thrashing and cursing, in his office. Wouldn’t be passed out on the firm oak top of his desk, curled up with stocking feet, muddied on the bottom, torn, drooping over the side.

But here you are. Whiskey still acrid on your lips, the ghost of a cigarette stale on the back of your tongue. What does that make you?

Papers, ledgers and notes, a mess beneath you. He wouldn’t be happy. The drunken spectacle itself was frustrating, but not unheard of. Not remotely unheard of, for anyone in his life. But you know how he feels about the sanctity of his space, and how he’d deal with almost anybody else invading it like this.

Though- to be fair- it had been Polly that had turned the key.

There, unconscious and blessedly quiet, your mind passes through dim, malformed memories, watching them like a picture show someone has made of your past without having lived it. The villains laughable and overacting, the blood made of syrup and wine. In one of them, Tommy even shows up in time.

That’s out of place enough to wake you up.

Raising heavy eyelids, you can make out the flash of a lighter before you can piece together the man behind it. He’s sitting as he so often is- somehow at once slouching and as poised as a Greek statue, a sullen boy hewn in marble and timeless. Taking in the measure of you, of your state- and God, it is a state- he huffs through his nose and swirls his whiskey. “We’re going to have this conversation again, are we?” he drawls around his cigarette, a slight strain in his voice as he leans forward to pull a crumpled sheet of paper free from beneath your knee.

His tone is unreadable.

“Wh’time is it?” you dodge, making a show of propping yourself up on one arm, rubbing your eyes.

He doesn’t answer at first, taking a drag, but after a moment his half-lidded gaze finally turns to the side, towards the shop, and he motions similarly with his glass. “Well, late enough they’ve all fucked off, if that’s your worry.”

“It’s not,” you snipe back.

Unfazed, Tommy closes his eyes and raises his eyebrows for a moment in what is as close to a shrug as you’re likely to get. As much as you care about him- as much as you should feel comfortable around those eyes- every time they close there’s a flood of relief. A moment of shelter in a torrential wind that batters you, fights its way into the gaps in your coats and your stockings. Makes you turn your head away, squint your eyes so hard you can’t see where you’re going anymore. “You staying up there, then?” he asks, his demeanour not altogether unfriendly.

“Well,” you venture, finally sitting up, “every moment I’m up here is a moment you’ve got to talk to me.” A little grin, almost too small to notice, and you test the waters. “I’m sat on your numbers.”

He acknowledges you with a lazy ‘hmmh’ of agreement and leans back in his seat again. “You’ve cut all your hair off,” he observes, as though he hadn’t seen it the second he walked in. As though Arthur hadn’t barked the knowledge at him when he’d discovered you taking up as a working girl. The last time Tommy had seen your hair it was long and coveted, thick, softened with oils and pulled into a long, loose plait. Now, chopped blunt below your cheekbones, the curls hang in your eyes and do as they please.

“That's right,” you agree, trying not to sound defensive. “Men recognising me was bad for business. No one wants to fuck a—“ you catch yourself, and risk a quick look at him. Somehow, even perched on his desk with him sprawled in his chair beneath you, you’re still looking up at him. The incongruity leaves you a bit dizzy. “-well. Get a reputation as a manslayer,” you spit that word out like a mouthful of blood halfway through a boxing match, “and suddenly the men go shy.”

There is a flash of something old and scarred-over in his morning-mist eyes as they flick back to you, gaining his undivided and unpretentious attention for the first time that night. Christ, for the first time that month. He gestures at you, accusing, with his cigarette. “And I’m not paying you enough to let them stay shy? Is that it?”

You can feel the warm flush creeping up from beneath the collar of your dress, spilt wine leeching through a tablecloth. A beat, and you open your mouth to respond, but the thousand things you want to say to him are withering and retreating under his scrutiny. You’d fought for weeks for him to talk to you straight, and now that you had it, the words were quicksilver through your fingers. Instead, all you can manage is “can I have a drink please, Tom?” It's weak. Tentative.

In one motion, Tommy knocks back the rest of his whiskey, and clinks your glass together with his in pinched fingers to pull them toward the bottle. “From what I hear, it’s the drink that caused all this,” he replies. You’re not sure whether he means the mess you’ve made of his office, or the scene you made in the betting shop, or the state of your life- he’d be right in any instance, but he pours the drink regardless and sets it down again. “That was a rhetorical question, by the way,” he adds. “At the rates I’m giving you, you must be the only whore in Birmingham just doing it for the love of the job.”

You bristle. It was meant to hurt, and it did. “And what other job shall I get, Tom? Ay?” you finally fire back, hands gripping the edge of the table. “No one decent will hire me ‘cause of— ‘cause of what happened, and no one indecent will hire me ‘cause you’ve made it very fucking well known I’m tainted stock, by order of the Peaky fucking Blinders!”

His hand, still holding his cigarette, squeezes between his eyes. “You want for nothing, (Y/N),” he says, his voice tired and straining. You know that catch in his throat- he’s been shouting all day. Shouting, cigarettes, spirits, repeat. If he’s lucky, inhale some gunsmoke and furnace backdraft in between. He could be a baritone with that voice of his, could have sung for crowds. “I’ve seen to it, I’ve fucking seen to it—“ he’s raising his voice now, crescendoing, and you can feel the crowd swelling with him. Then, all of a sudden, he changes tack and the volume of his voice drops. “You don’t need a fucking job, you need to be looked after- and I’ve fucking well done that for the last three years,” he says, seething, and it's almost a complaint. He's trying to get the words out before you can object, and he can see your objection mounting.

Like clockwork, your indignation escapes you in a breathy laugh. “I need to be what?  That’s fucking rich coming from you, Thomas Shelby. The last time I needed to be looked after, you showed up just in time to miss everything. I did it all. All of it.” After it leaves your mouth, tumbling, flooding out, you regret it immediately. It tears at you on its way out, the regretful sting of a honeybee. And as infuriating as it is, you hear your voice wavering, feel your face tightening.

For a moment, Tommy looks at you- really looks at you. Not coolly, not strategising or trying to put you in your place. And you know he can see through you, down to the churning, violent, black void you choke down every day. The dark hollow, the bottomless-sea eyes of someone who has taken human life, someone who has been harmed permanently, someone who walks among humans but is no longer one of them. You know, because when he lets you see it, you can see it straining to escape from the pits of his pupils as well. War had happened to him, being a Blinder had happened to him. Your father had happened to you.

And in return, you had happened to your father.

“So, fine,” he relents, and with a blink he’s managed to obscure the dark portal again. There’s only the frozen, windswept wasteland of his gaze. “You don’t want the money, you don’t have to take it.”

“It’s not about the money, Tom,” you argue, and are loathe to hear it come out in a whine. “It’s about— it’s about trying to live as a ghost in this city. Just an open, needy mouth, a parasite. You're the only people who will talk to me, and even you don't want to talk to me. It’s not fair on you, and it’s not fair on me. And I know you loved him, and I know I took him away from you—“

His expression shifts suddenly, and in an instant his hand is lashed around your wrist, the grip so tight and violent you think the bone might snap. “Is that what you think?” he demands, his voice dangerously low, his face close enough that you can taste the whiskey on his breath. “You think I resent you for what happened?”

“Don’t you?” it could very easily have come out sarcastically, and maybe that would have been preferable. Instead, it escapes you in a timid, weak breath that you despise instantly. “I’m the one that did it.”

And for one fleeting instant you catch it- you’re sure of it- pain flashes across his features. It’s gone as quickly as the flicker of a candle flame, but you know what you’ve seen. Those little frames of truth, the ones Polly could read as sure as tea leaves and bad intentions. You know she can, because she saw the dark spirit before anyone else. Warned everyone, warned Tommy. Only he hadn't listened well enough.

Tommy’s grip on your wrist stays, but softens. His thumb traces your pulse, making you very aware of the raucous thudding of your heart. His eyes, those February wind-storm eyes, fixate on you- and even though you can feel the intensity of what it means when Tommy Shelby gives you his attention, the power of it no longer buffets you and stings your eyes and lips.  “Listen to me, (Y/N). Killing in self defence is not a sin, and I am not St. fucking Peter.” And just like that, the edge is gone from his voice. Because he’s got the measure of you, now.

You'd wanted to be an animal, a beast, a frenetic and untameable creature- because Tommy had more time and more patience for beasts than for men. What you hadn't anticipated- and you fucking should have, you little fool- was that the reason Tommy preferred the company of animals was that they fell under his spell without messy complication. After all, wasn't that the reason he'd spent all those afternoons as a boy helping at the stables with your father? Couldn't those hands, capable of such brutality and such violence, settle calm as warm sunlight against the sides of a horse's muzzle? Didn't every horse, whether wounded or ornery or spooked find something other humans couldn't explain in that cut-marble face and those December storm eyes?

He is taking you by the muzzle and blowing short puffs. You're nothing more than a mare causing trouble at the far end of the stable. Rattling her stall doors. And he knows how to settle you.

And it's working.

Your other hand finds its way to his grip on you, tentatively settling over his own. “You've done so much for me, Tom,” you admit finally. “I don't want you to think it's ingratitude, and I don't want you to think I don't appreciate you. I just- I want to feel like I- I dunno, I guess-”

As you fumble for words, you can feel his hand squeezing your wrist gently, reassuringly. “Like you're doing something to earn it,” he finishes, looking lazily across the room. He isn't really talking to you, you know- just thinking out loud, as he so often is.

“Like I'm of use to someone,” you correct him gently.

His head doesn't turn, expression doesn't budge even a tic, but his eyes come back to meet you. “And you want to be of use to me, ay?” he asks, still calm- but you can sense the whisper of a warning dancing beneath his words. “Have you even the faintest idea what can happen to people who agree to be of use to me?”

Scooting forward, you ease yourself off his desk, just leaning against it now, and find yourself occupying the position between his spread legs. Retrieving the bottle from where he'd set it a few minutes ago, you set it to his glass with a faint clink and refill it. He's silent, appraising again, but you can see that little glimmer of a laugh in his eyes. Where he kept it locked away, along with the other parts of himself that slowed him down.

Finally, you tilt your head like you'd been considering the answer. You hadn't- you knew it all along. “You let them?”

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinder fanfic #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #tw parent death #tw abuse #tw murder #tommy x reader

[kdelarenta]

3:00 am

pairing: sebastian wynric x f!speaker

rating: umm kind of angst kind of ?? idk

notes: had to delete the previous version because tumblr is acting up, sebastian belongs to @speakergame

tagged: @pearlsandsteel , @aplethoraoffictionalboys

She should be sleeping,she knows this.This isn't the first shitty motel she's had to stay in and not the first time a lovely neighbour decided to have some 'fun' (very loud fun) at three in the morning.

Good for them - at least they're getting some.

She just wishes it wasn't at three in the fucking morning,she hasn't been sleeping well as it is and she has to drive tomorrow. Sebastian did offer to take over though - of course he did. She can't explain it really,she still wants to drive. Josephine wasn't  a person who could give someone else the wheel or a person who could just sit in the back seat (and relax). If she wasn't on a mission, she was training. If she wasn't driving,she was navigating. If she had free time,she was watching Emily - making sure she's okay. She doesn't think she can stop. Still it doesn't matter,she doesn't think.(about any of it really,she jumps and kicks and runs and saves and punches and then punches some more when she can't. can't save - can't save everyone).

Yeah...she's not going to sleep any time soon. Kicking the sheets off does nothing to keep off the heat that's been suffocating her since she layed down.

Getting a drink from that wending machine she saw in the hallway doesn't seem like a bad idea at all.

Catching sight of herself in the mirror she can see that she looks like hell,it's like the constant unease she's been feeling had managed to bleed out all over her face. She was wearing her pajamas- black shorts and an oversized grey t-shirt with a questionable quote ( god she would never ever buy it on her own but Em saw it and thought it looked cute and gave her that goofy smile and of course she had to buy it). Smiling despite herself she decides to go out anyway. It's three in the morning,no one's going to see her .

The hallway is quiet besides the constant moans and groans and shouts of someone's name - Paul. Well damn Paul. She's fully grinning now,she can't even bring herself to be mad. Taking a few turns she makes her way to the wending machine. Choosing from all the drinks is easy once she spots her favorite,she puts in the money,selects the drink and waits. The drink starts to move and then stops midway. Sighing,she presses the number again but the can is still stuck. She presses again - nothing.

,,Oh come on" she groans to no one in particular and smacks the machine. Nothing - the can just stays the same,mocking her.

Yeah,fuck this.

She's already halfway through the debate of whether she should continue kicking the machine or just going back to bed when she notices she's not alone. Sebastian is standing by the wall behind her. She doesn't know how long he'd been standing there but the small amused smile on his face gives away that he definitely saw everything. Great.

,,What?"

The accusatory tone and the wild hand gestures sure aren't helping her look any less embarrassed.

,,I want a Cola"

The tone of her voice brings out a low chuckle that warms her from the inside out. Just her luck that he's the one who's awake right now. It's not the first time that fate,karma or whoever has tried to shove promises of love and happiness in her face. Putting them just at the right place at the right time,taunting her with the things she wants but can't afford to have. This time feels different though,like they're more tightly intertwined instead of loosely vowen together. It'd be cruel really, if she wasn't enjoying it so much.

He makes his way over to her,stopping in front of the machine to examine it closely. That smile is still there as he pulls out a few bills and puts them in the machine. She watches him put in the same numbers and low and behold,both cans of soda fall down without a hitch. She's way more impressed than she should be but she does a good job of hiding it behind a carefully neutraled face and a small 'thank you'. He looks pleased with himself as she slowly sips the soda - the cool drink does nothing for her because now she's warm for a completely different reason. Neither of them talk as the moment continues interrupted only by the noise that starts up again and can somehow still be heard from over there.

,,Something keeping you up?"

His mocking tone is rewarded by a sharp glare that only seems to amuse him more.

,,Ha ha,very funny" her words are dry but she's still smiling. Their amused glance soon turns into one of their staring contests. Neither of them wants to back down and she wants to think that's it's just because they're both incredibly stubborn and not because they want to keep looking at each other's eyes. The thought brings a different sort of unease - every glance,every comeback,every accidental touch feels wrong,like she should know better (and she should). That's why she looks away first,like she always does.

,,So did you just want to play comedian or is there a reason why you're awake?"

Changing the subject - always a safe bet. The words are a little harsher than she intends them to be but he doesn't seem bothered. She's convinced he simply doesn't care because the possibility that he might actually be onto what she's doing makes the unease spread all the way from her stomach to her throat.

,,I was reading the case files again" There's a pause, she sees him tense for a moment. ,,This one feels..."

,, - tricky."

,, - different."

They turn to look at each other, settling in the feeling of quiet understanding. He gives a small nod.

So it's not just her.

She knows it's risky business . She remembers the early years - the first cases. The high of returning someone safely home , the hope of helping people live another day,the pride of being useful,of making a change. From that high - there's only one way down.

She remembers Em crying,lifeless bodies and the smell of blood under the shower. Waiting for Emily to fall asleep so she can cry too - figure out how she's going to look herself in the mirror tomorrow. It takes years.It takes practice. The words are clear and strict and second nature.

,, We can't save everyone."

,, I know."

She has to stop herself from asking how he knows - it's not her place. It's better like that anyway,she lets Em be positive and fly for a bit but she's right there to ground her again before she falls. Lost in thought she almost misses the way he's been analyzing her. His eyes skim over her face,briefly stopping at her eyes until they stop to her shirt. She expects him to smile or make a comment. Nothing.

,,Let me drive tomorrow."

She almost doesn't let him finish,the words leaving her mind before she registers them.

,,No need,I'll drive."

,,You're exhausted Josephine."

The strict look he gives her makes her want to roll her eyes. She wants to shout in frustration. It's fine. Why are you like this?

,,I'll manage."

This seems to set him off judging by the scowl quickly forming on this face. They're going to start shouting soon aren't they?

,,Why are you always like this? Just let me do this for you."

The words make her inhale sharply. The need to backtrack is almost suffocating, to just run to her room and leave him here or to just shout whatever to make him let it go.But she can already feel the agitation melting from her face. She can't yell, she can't argue, it's three in the morning and she's tired.

She takes a deep breath,wondering how people do this. How it comes so easy,spilling your soul all over the floor and watching it stain shoes. His shoes are clean - they should remain so. She can't see her face but whatever expression she has makes his soften almost too quickly in return. Maybe he's tired too ( tired of her).

,,Um.." is all that escapes her, an unintelligent sound amongst the thousand words that want to claw their way out.

,, I'm not ungrateful."

She hopes she sounds convincing but all she can focus on is the desperation that seeps out. Out of guilt or out of the inability to explain.

,, I know." he breathes out. And she knows he means it,his eyes are too honest and too soft when they find hers. It really is unfair, all of it.

,, I don't have the luxury of trusting people." The words stick like honey as she drags them out. She should probably say more,she should say more - because it's Sebastian and he's here and he understands.

,, Then trust me"

He sounds so resolute,so honest that she can't look him in the eye,she wouldn't dare. Her ears are pulsing,she's going to explode so instead she focuses on his hands. They're warm - she knows this. She wants to make a home there. She wants to put down roots,stay locked in them forever and surrender to the blazing warmth of a thousand suns. She can see it so clearly - the late night conversations,coffee dates,game nights with Emily, warm embraces and soft kisses.

This isn't the first daydream showed down her throat and it won't be the last. After the case he's going to leave. He'll get payed, he'll leave and she'll never see him again and that will be the end of it.

He won't be there when she eventually fails, she won't get the chance to fail him and she's glad.

She shakes her head and heads back to her room.

She's glad.

#speaker #speakergame #speaker game #sebastian wynric #oc: josephine #seer #*myfics

[callsignbaphomet]

My aunt drove me to the appointment and I was hesitant at first because she is...a stress factor in my life. I know for sure she doesn't mean to be and I'm sure she doesn't even realize she's doing it but it ain't easy talking to her. I feel like my entire family is prone to playing the victim.

Example. A few years ago my aunt planned out a vacation for all of us to go on. The majority of us didn't want to go. It started disastrously bad when my idiot brother wanted to take the long way which here in PR it means going through the middle of the island which meant taking roads that were curves over curves over curves. I get car/motion sickness. I said this aloud. My aunt and my mom have witnessed this first hand. Solution? I gotta drive to avoid throwing up. I didn't want to drive because I didn't know the directions, even then we got super lost, and I was on some medication that forced my p****d out and I didn't wanna go on this vacation but was forced to go (this is me as an adult btw 😐).

So what happened? We had to pull over so I could throw up on the side of the road. I was beyond pissed. The rest of the week went from bad to worse. My sister and her husband insisted that all they wanted to do was go to the beach. I don't like going to the beach, I don't like swimming, I don't like pools, I don't like getting wet. First time at the beach I was on the shore overheating and heavily bleeding and I looked miserable but yeah I'm soooo glad that bitch and her bitch husband had soooo much fun.

Following day they (sister and her husband) wanted to go to another beach. My mom spoke up and said I wouldn't be able to go into the water and didn't think it was fun to just sit at the shore all day. Someone finally remembered me 🙄

So C, who had had enough of the trip since the start had been super quiet and I got a little angry at him for not speaking up either. Turns out he was on the phone searching for interesting things to do in the area aside from going to the fucking beach. So he asked my aunt if he and I could borrow her car. She said okay and during the entire stay all they did was follow my idiot sister from one beach to another, that's ALL they did. Beach hopping.

Meanwhile C and I went to see some weird salt flats, we saw a fuck old lighthouse and befriended some cats, we went to a really old church with an amazingly beautiful garden full of flowers. On the third day we went out to a park and had ice cream. Loooots of ice cream. So all in all C managed to make that disaster better. When he and I got back to the apartment my sister was putting on a show about how C and I didn't wanna spend time with the family.

Dude, I went from 0 to 1 trillion in 1 second and I swear I was gonna lunge at her but C grabbed me basically by the scruff of the neck and held me back and quietly said, "If that's what you think that's a you problem." and we went to take a shower. Which btw only had two temperatures: third degree burn and lava coming out of Satan's butthole. You can imagine how great that felt in the middle of summer in the south side of PR.

Fourth day was an all out disaster cuz my idiot brother, who btw, first day there kicked me and C out cuz he wanted our room cuz it was the only one with ac and he needed it because his crack whore ass was detoxing from some meds. Was yelling and screaming about going to kill himself (read: he wanted something and no one was indulging him so he used the excuse to kill himself to manipulate my mom and aunt to get him what he wanted).

That day was a mess of people pointing fingers and mostly my sister shoving blame everywhere and basically calling out my aunt for making us all go on this vacation when no one else wanted to go.

Drive back was awkward as fuck all with my aunt crying and feeling bad and me and C on damage control. She was super mad that all they did was go to the beach and asked me and C about all we did so we did and tried to make her feel better because my sister told her she has a lot of flaws she needs to work on and now she all boo hoo. Sure, my sister coulda worded it better but I'm glad it happened.

My aunt is one of those "my way or the highway" type of people. She gets set on one thing and noooooothing will change her mind. She constantly hounds me about doing something "productive" with my art. I often just shrug and ignore her but this is constant. I don't sketch in front of her anymore because it's every single time. She also doesn't take social clues, she outright ignores them on purpose. If a subject makes someone uncomfortable she'll keep prying because in her eyes you're probably not working hard enough or doing your best.

On the way to the doctor she brought up art again. I outright told her I wasn't going to do it. I wanted to say not everything has to be about making money but I held on to that one. I told her it was hard to establish a network, that I would be competing with thousands and thousands of people and that it was hard.

All she got outta that was that everything is hard and I'd have to work hard to get out there and establish myself.

Bruh...I was stunned.

So I outright told her no. I don't want to. My art is for peace of mind and she dropped it but I just know she'll bring it up again.

Look. As a hobbyist my art is okay but me charging people for that??? Who the fuck would??? Pay for that???? Jfc.

So we moved on to yet another uncomfortable subject and she said I may have ptsd. Dude...no offense but ya ain't a doctor (thank fuck). So she told me I should check to see a psychologist because then I'd have the tools to handle things better. Fair. I have been thinking about that to see if maybe I can finally get an answer to several things or if maybe I'm making all this dumb shit up in my head. But that was about all the logical shit she said.

She even thinks people are actually not working because they wanna live off unemployment and don't wanna work.

My face went blank. I tried explaining to her that people are protesting unsafe work environments, slave labor/wages, shitty bosses and she heard all of that (granted maybe I could explained it better) and all she said was, "You gotta start somewhere and from there go up".

Then it struck me that of course she'd never understand. This woman NEVER had to work during her entire years of college or even her master's. She has NEVER worked a minimum wage job ever in her entire life. I wanna find articles on what is going on with that and send them to her. She's all of what I said and more but she can sooooometimes see reason. To be honest I'm angry and disappointed in her. She always seemed to adhere to more open minded concepts in terms of society, how differences in generations was good for all of us in general, who's taken to learning what she can about mental illnesses and trauma and so on. She still has much to learn about those last two, she still can't comprehand how me making phone calls scares the fuck outta me, but it's a start? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idk I just needed to let all of that out. I love her, she's done a lot for me but she's also been a source of stress for me and I can't openly talk to her about anything because she's not easy to talk to. Sorry for the length.

#werewolf howls at dusk