#if you ever see me use it just remember my brother is gen X and I absorbed some of his ICQ era quirks

[zillychu]

my toxic trait is I see the :) emote as a calm, relaxed smile. whereas 99% of the population sees it as not only a death threat, but a Promise

#to be fair sometimes it's both #it's completely context dependent for me #'that sounds nice :)' is sincere #'i will harvest your bones :)' is also sincere but a different kind of sincere #if you ever see me use it just remember my brother is gen X and I absorbed some of his ICQ era quirks #mixed with millennial vernacular it makes for an. interesting dialect

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart - Chapter 9

Pairing- ex!Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 5,300

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Sad reader. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N- Back at a convention we go. Someone lets the cat out of the bag here with the breakup. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Turns out you really didn’t have a lot of time to think things over once you returned home.  Jared was at the studio, and Gen had her hands full with a wild child and a smelly dog.  You leave her with Tom and take Sadie outside for a bath.  When you come back inside Tom wants you to play with him.  

Jared comes home with your script for the first episode, they had to rework a few things for it.  Before bed you spend some time reading it over and making notes for yourself.  

When you wake up and go down to a late breakfast on Thursday, Gen starts asking about your flight.

“What flight?”

“Aren’t you flying out today, so you can be there all day tomorrow?”

“What are you…OH CRAP THE CONVENTION!”

Jared comes back from his run just as you finish yelling.  “What happened?” he asks, looking between you and his wife before you are dashing from the room.

“I think she forgot it was convention weekend, and that she is supposed to leave today,” Gen tells her husband.

“Got it.”

After a quick shower you are running around your room picking out clothes.  Someone knocks and you holler at them to come in.  Gen walks in looking at the clothes thrown on the bed and the open bathroom bag on the dresser.

“Do you have anything around for this weekend yet?”

“Um, no.  Do you remember ever seeing con pictures of me in this top?” you ask her, holding up a black dress shirt.

“Yes, but only because there is a picture of us together, I have.”

“Crap.”  Throwing that in the no pile you move back to the closet.

“What time is your flight?”

“4:15, should probably leave here around 1:30.  Which is oh, about two hours away now,” you reply with a grimace. 

“What can I do to help?” she asks.

“My bathroom travel things are in the bathroom cabinet.  I hope.  I don’t know why I unpacked that stuff.  Could you throw it in the travel bag please?  There should be hair crap, body wash, face cream, lotion. Whatever makeup is on the counter. Oh and toothbrush and paste.  Will definitely need those, no one wants to get close to the girl with morning breath.” 

Finally figuring out 2 outfits for the days you are there, and one for karaoke, you run out to the pool building to grab your swimsuit.  You never know if you will have time for a swim, but you would rather have it with you and not use it than leave it at home and have free time.   Throwing in some workout clothes and pajamas you are finally good to go.  You pack your carryon bag with your wallet, computer, headphones, a book and some snacks.  

Thirty minutes later your bags are sitting by the bedroom door.  “Okay, I think I’m good to go.”

“Only a small tornado left in your wake.”

Raising an eyebrow you look at Gen, not sure what she means.  She points her finger around your room and you look with a groan.  You currently have more clothes on the bed and floor than are likely in the closet.

“I’ll help you pick ‘em up.”

Half an hour later the room is back together and you won’t have to worry about it when you get home Saturday night.

“Gen, I ever told you you are a lifesaver?”  You ask your sister-in-law as you walk out of your room.

“Eh, it’s been awhile,” she jokes with you.  “But I’m happy to help.”

Taking your things downstairs, you find Tom and Jared on the living room floor building with legos.

“Aunt Y/N, wanna build with us?”

“I can for a few minutes.”

“Are you leaving again?”

“Yeah, I’m off to Orlando, Florida this time.”

“Where’s that?”

“East of here,” he just looks at you, “not that that means anything to you.”

He turns to his dad, “are you leaving too?”

“Saturday morning bud.  That’s in two days, and I’ll be gone for two days.”

“You’re flying out in the morning?” you question.

“Yeah, figured I’d come a little earlier.  They moved some of our stuff around to get more in on Saturday since you won’t be there Sunday.”

“Oh, thanks for doing that.  Sorry you had to.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

After spending a few minutes building a Lego town, you all break for lunch before Jared drives you to the airport.  He tells you to have a safe trip and gives you a hug before getting back in the car and taking off.  

Once you clear check-in and security, you walk around the familiar space, before sitting down and pulling out your book.  It’s finally time to board and you are ready for takeoff.  You’re a little nervous about how this weekend is going to go, and the sooner it’s over with the better. 

After collecting your luggage at the Orlando airport, you look around for Mike and finally see him hurrying through the doors.  You wave at him to get his attention, he slows a little but is still moving quickly.

“Sorry, traffic was a lot worse than I thought it would be.”

“It’s no problem, I just got my bag.  How are you doing?”

“I’m good, thanks.  How about you?”

“I’m fine.”

The trip to the hotel took longer than usual also.  Mike was right about the current traffic.  While the convention and most of the guests were staying at the Doubletree Hotel, they had the cast at Embassy suites.  It was a few minutes away, but not too bad.

Mike had your hotel key with him, and asked if there was anywhere you needed him to stop before dropping you off.  You told him no, and he went right to the hotel. 

You found your way up to the room without any problem. It’s close to 9, and your stomach is grumbling.  You head down to the cafe in the hotel before it closes to grab something for dinner. The dining area is in the middle of the main floor. 

Looking up you can see the walkways on every floor around it.  Instead of sitting at the bar, you grab a table off to the side.  While you are picking at your sandwich, two hands clamp down on your shoulders and whisper “gotcha.”

You can’t help but scream out.

“Oh shit, way to go Bri,” Kim says as she sits down across from you.

You hold up your hand and repeat, “sorry, sorry,” to those still dining around you.  At least this late there aren’t too many people around.

Briana sits down next to you and picks a fry out of your half eaten basket, “sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t even see you two walk in.”  You look at the pajamas they’re wearing, “how was the pj party?”

“It was good.  Lots of fun, like usual,” Kim tells you.

“Yeah, I get alcohol in there now, it’s fuckin great,” Bri agrees. 

“So what are you doing here so early?” Kim asks.

“I had to change my schedule around because I can’t stay on Sunday.”

“Oh something exciting going on?  Has to be to pull you away from Jay,” Briana questions.

“Not really exciting, I just have to leave Saturday.”

The girls look at each other, then back at you.  “You aren’t telling us something.  We’ll let it go for now, but we will get it out of you,”  Kim says in her best Carrie Martin voice.

“Okay, mom.”

Thankfully, they change the subject and talk about what has been going on with themselves the last few weeks.  You are pretty vague when it comes to yourself.  Before long, you are all calling it a night and heading up to your respective rooms.

The beeping of your alarm wakes you Friday morning, with a groan you get up to start your day.  It’s early enough, you can make your way to the second floor where the outdoor pool is located.  Hopefully a few laps will help you wake up.  Back in the room you go through your morning routine of making yourself presentable for all the photo ops you will have.  Your cell notifies you of an incoming text, letting you know Mike is on his way.

He drops you off at the convention hotel, at one of the back entrances.  Chelsea is waiting for you at the door.  

“Hey!” you greet her with a hug before moving inside.  “Nice to see you again.”  You never know who your handler will be until you arrive at the conventions.  You work with Chelsea a lot, but it’s not uncommon to have one of the other girls.  As long as it’s not Victoria, you’re good.

She hands you a coffee and starts going over your schedule on the way to the green room.  First up on the schedule is a 10 am Meet and Greet (M&G). She leads you down when it gets closer and takes her seat in the corner as you greet the fans and answer the questions.

As that half an hour winds down, Adam Fergus comes in the side door.  “Someone’s got an early start to her day.  I don’t usually see you around this early.”

“Yeah, my schedule is a little off this weekend.  I’m guessing if you’re here then our time is up.” With a frown you turn to the group of fans.  “I had a lot of fun with you all, thank you.”

You wave to them as everyone gets up and they are being led to the exit.  Walking over to Adam you give him a hug in greeting, you don’t have time to catch up because his M&G group is being brought in.

Back in the green room they have some pictures for you to sign. You hear DJ Qualls take the stage for the first panel.  Julian Richings, has the second.  He doesn’t make it to many conventions, so it is always nice to see him.  You mentally make a note that you want to get a picture with him before he leaves. 

You have various photo ops, and a panel with Kim and Briana later in the afternoon.  After the day programing wraps up, a good two hours of autographs.  It’s a little after 6, by the time you are finished.  Bri and Kim are already done, Adam and David are also finishing up, everyone else is gone. A group text had gone out earlier about ordering dinner to be delivered to the hotel tonight.  As the three of you get in the car to go back to the hotel, Bri lets you all know it’s on the way now and there are some tables by the pool where you can all eat.

Arriving back at the hotel, the three of you all head to your rooms to change before meeting them for dinner.  You throw your suit on under your clothes, and head to the outdoor pool area. 

Rich is still at the convention center for Dick chat, but you, Kim, Bri, David, Adam, DJ, Julian and Sam Smith are all back at the hotel.  Conversation flows a little more freely when there isn’t anyone else around.  They do have some questions about Jensen and his new suit you have to field.

“Did you get to see him in that suit when you were in Toronto?” Kim asks.

“What she really wants to know is, did you get to do him in that suit?” Bri interjects, and the guys all groan.

“No, I never made it to set, they keep things pretty tight up there,” you tell them.

“Yeah they do.  Suit couldn’t have been much tighter.”

“Not what I meant Bri.”

“Has he told you any behind the scenes secrets?” Sam asks.

“Nope, I know probably as much as you guys do.”

You do your best to turn the conversation to other topics and away from you or Jensen, when it seems to quit working you go hop in the pool.  Before too long you need to get ready to go back for Karaoke.  

Adam, David, DJ, Julian, Sam and you, all are going back.  Bri and Kim are bowing out of this one.  When you arrive back, the fans are still watching the screening of ‘Yellow Fever.’  There are a variety of drinks set up in the green for you all. 

Adam looks over the table, “what flavor of ‘apple juice’ shall we start with?”

“Something we aren’t going to regret tomorrow morning, would be great,” you tell him.

“Chicago was your own fault Lil Pad, you all were shooting them back a bit quick,” he fires back.

“I blame Bri,” you say with a shrug.

It isn’t long before the film is over and the stage is set for karaoke.  With your red solo cups the six of you make your way on stage, while Adam draws the first name.  Those that come on stage give it their all, and the crowd is singing along too.  Adam is all over the stage and starts running up and down the aisles as well, which keeps not only his handler, but others busy watching him as well. 

An hour and a half later, the event is winding down and you’re definitely ready to get back to the hotel and relax before bed.  Well, after you pack.  You aren’t used to leaving on Saturday afternoons.  

The next morning there are two cars to take nine of you over to the convention hotel a little after nine.  Adam, David and Jason don’t have to be there until ten.  There is breakfast waiting in the green room along with the group's Starbucks order.  Rob is talking with the band before looking for you.

“Y/N, did you text me the song you wanted to sing tonight?  I can’t seem to find it.”

“I won’t be at the concert tonight, sorry guys.  I head out this afternoon.”

“What?  That is unacceptable,” he jokes with you.  “Is your other half going to cover for you?”

“I have no idea what they are doing tonight.”

Rob, Rich and Louden Swain soon take the stage to start the day and then they call you, Bri, Kim and Sam to the stage.  Things are going well, you all are talking, joking, and occasionally answering questions.  At least until a little over halfway through when you get a question that catches you completely off guard.

A girl comes up to the mike and looks right at you.  “My question is for Y/N.”

“I know her, she’s right here,” Kim jokes, pointing to you.

“What do you have for me sweetie?”

“How could you break up with Jensen?”

The whole room goes quiet, you stare at the girl, and everyone else is looking at you. “What?” you finally stutter.

“He announced it this morning during an interview.”

Everyone is still looking at you,  Sam is one of the first to recover.  “Um, maybe this isn’t the…’

“Thanks, Sam, it’s alright.  I don’t know what Jensen said about this.  But we both have different projects we’re working on.  And um, I guess you hope things are going to work out one way, but sometimes life has other plans.  I would appreciate though, if um, there weren’t any more questions on this right now.  It’s supposed to be a fun weekend, let’s not bring it down okay?”

You try and focus on the last twenty minutes of the panel, but your brain keeps going back to that girl's question, and how could Jensen do that today?  Why did he feel the need to announce it during an interview even?

When Rob and Rich come back on stage with the band you barely wait for them to start singing you off before you are gone down the steps.  You see your brother right behind the curtain, he pulls you into a hug and walks with you back to the green room area.  

“Are you alright?” he quietly asks.

“Just great.  Have you seen the interview?”

“Not yet.”

You ignore Victoria sitting in the corner with a smug smile and go to the opposite side of the room with Jared.  Pulling out your phone you search for the interview.  Bri, Kim and Sam had been following you two, but they realize what you are doing and move to give you some room.  Finding the video you push play.

Jensen is with Karl, Jack, Chase, Anthony, and sitting right next to him is Claudia.  Watching the interview from this morning's talk show appearance, you aren't really paying attention to what’s being said, just trying to find the spot where Jensen throws you under the bus.  

The interviewer makes a comment about how some of them have said they don’t want their parents to watch, but what about their significant others? 

Claudia is the first to do anything, she laughs before speaking.  “Well, Anthony is the only one of us currently in a relationship, so he’ll have to take that one.”  

You notice Jensen makes a slight movement to look at Claudia out of the corner of his eye, and some of his castmates are looking at him as Anthony answers.  When he’s finished the interviewer turns it back to Jensen.

“Aren’t you dating your former co-star, Y/N Padalecki?”

Claudia speaks up before Jensen can say a word, “ not any more she came up here just to break up with him because he was working.”  She leans closer to your ex, and you can’t help but notice the way she is rubbing her hand up and down the top of his leg.  Yeah, you aren’t so sure something isn’t going on there.

“We’re so sorry to hear that,” Don, Dan, whoever says to Jay.

“Long distance doesn’t work out for everyone, and I guess we just wanted different things,” Jensen finally speaks up. 

The interviewer moves the topic back to the show and continues on.

“I cannot believe him.”

“In his defense,” your brother starts, “he didn’t really announce the breakup.”

“He had to have been talking about it with her, and he didn’t make a move to stop her, did he?  Didn’t take him long to move on.”

You turn around and notice your friends on the other side of the room trying not to look at you.  With a sigh, you drop your head back and know you have some explaining to do.  Before you can get very far, a nervous Chelsea comes and tells you you are needed for your VIP M&G and then photo ops.

 After your solo ops, you have photos with the ladies.  Even though they want to ask, there is no time for questions now.  Jared comes down for his ops with you, when those are finished you are done with photos for this convention.  You give Chris a hug and tell him thanks before you follow your brother and handlers out of the room.  The last of your autographs are next, it takes well over an hour for you to finish up.  There are some comments about you and Jensen, mostly I’m sorry to hear you broke up.  But a few rude ones, that couldn’t understand why you would do that.

Walking into the green room you notice almost everyone is in there, since there is a little bit of a break.  Grabbing a water you sit on the edge of a table, with Jared coming up next to you.

“I know you all want to know what’s going on, so here it is.  Yes, Jay and I aren’t together anymore.  No, I didn’t go up to Toronto just to break up with him.  It just happened while I was up there.  I’m just not really ready to talk more about it right now.”

They all nod, Sam comes over and gives you a hug, Bri and Kim are right behind her.

“This the reason for the schedule change?” Bri quietly asks.  You just nod.

Looking at the time, you make sure everything you were supposed to have autographed is done.  The few things you have gotten out of your bag are packed back up.  Jared is about to head to one of his M&G’s, you give him a hug before he goes.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Liar.  Have a safe flight.  I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Thanks.  Hope all goes well here.  Have a safe flight tomorrow.  See ya soon.”

You tell the rest of the group goodbye before you head out.  You still have a little time before your 3:30 flight, but you want to get out of there before Jensen arrives.  Once you are all checked in at the airport, you find a quiet spot to sit, and go through your phone.  You know you shouldn’t, but you bet the comments are flying about you right now.  You aren’t wrong.

Earlier that morning up in Toronto, Jensen is boarding the plane for Florida.  He finds his seat, throws his bag up top and sits down with a huff.  He hadn’t had the morning he was expecting to.  

His phone went off early this morning, someone from the show calling to tell him he was needed for an interview at the studio.  Jesse was sick and unable to make it, they were asking him to fill in.  He hurries to get cleaned up and make sure he has everything he needs to fly down for the convention.  

Everyone else is already at the studio, they do a quick hair and makeup fix on him. Karl comes over to see how he’s doing.

“Ready for ya trip?”

“I think so.”

“Ya talked to her since she left?”

“No.  But I don’t know what more she wanted from me. I haven’t figured out if I want to see her or not.  Haven’t talked to Jared either.  That’ll be interesting.”

“Maybe, ya just needed some time apart, and you two can work it out this weekend.”

“If it was space she needed, she wouldn't have broken up with me when she came up here.  We had plenty of space living in two different countries.”

What neither man notices is Claudia hanging around behind them.

When it’s almost time, they have the cast take a seat and the interviewer comes out and sits across from them.  Getting the cue from the studio they start rolling. Everything was going fine until the question about spouses came up and Claudia started talking.  Jensen is too busy trying to figure out how she knows to even speak.  He looks at her out of the corner of his eye before slightly looking at Karl, who is also looking at him.

Once his mind catches up he tries to shut the topic down before anymore can be said.  When the camera moves away from him, he moves Claudia’s hand off his leg.  By the time the interview is over, he can’t stay and question her about it, he has to get to the airport.   He sends Karl a text on the way.

Any idea how she knew that?

Karl and Eric are the only two up here he had talked to about this.  He gets a reply a short time later,

Not a bloody clue.

Once he gets to the airport, he doesn’t have a lot of time before the plane is supposed to take off.  He is hoping since a number of fans will already be busy at the start of the convention day, word of the interview will take awhile to get around.  There is nothing on his phone when he powers it down before takeoff.  Sitting back he spends the flight looking over the final script of the season.

Arriving at the hotel, Mike gives him his room key and Jensen tells him he'll be back down in ten minutes.  That gives him time to find his room, leave his bag, and change out of the airport clothes.

Clif is waiting at the back entrance of the convention center when he is dropped off there. He follows him up to the green room, where Victoria is waiting.

“Jensen, great to see you again. Hope you’re doing well.”

“Fine, thanks. You?”

“Good.  I’m happy to be here.  The suit reveal you posted on Instagram was amazing.  I can’t wait until the show premieres.”

“Thanks. So, what’s first on my schedule?” he asks when she doesn’t tell him.

“Oh, solo pictures in a few minutes, then with Misha.  You have a short break before the VIP M&G, then the regular one.”

“Ok. Do you know where Y/N is?”

“She’s around somewhere.”

He gets through his photo ops, and looks for you on his way to the M&G’s.  He doesn’t see you around anywhere.  It’s about halfway through the main M&G when someone mentions they are sorry to hear about what Y/N did.

He’s slightly confused, “what did she do?”

“How she came up to Toronto to, well you know…”

It suddenly clicks, the interview.  Guess word got around.  “Y/N’s an amazing woman, but unfortunately things didn’t work out.”

“How does this affect you and Jared?”

“If one of us comes on stage tomorrow with a black eye, you’ll know,” he tries to joke.

Finally making it through that half an hour he is escorted back to the green room.  Sam is the only one in the room and she is getting ready to go back to photos.  He grabs a water and sits at one of the tables, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it.  Opening twitter he receives a notification he’s trending, and so are you.  “If we’re both trending, I bet I know what that’s for,” he mumbles.

“Who’s fault is that?” a voice behind him asks.

Taking a deep breath, he readies himself to turn around and face his best friend.  Who also happens to be your older brother.

“Hey Jare.”

“Ackles.  You didn’t answer my question.”

He holds up his hands, “Look man, I never intended for that to come out this morning.  I don’t even know how she knew.”

“You didn’t tell her?  The two of you seemed pretty close.”

“The only two I’ve talked to are Karl and Eric.  I haven’t talked to you, because she’s your sister, so I didn’t know where that put us.”

“That makes two of us.  What happened between you two, Jay?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know what more she wanted from me.  I thought we were fine.  Then she comes up to Toronto and tells me she can’t do it anymore.  Where did that even come from?”

“She’s been hurting for awhile, but the one person who was supposed to notice it, didn’t have a fucking clue.  In case you were wondering, that was you.”

“Then why didn’t she talk to me about it earlier?”

“Did you two even talk anymore?”

“Of course we did.”

Jared raises his eyebrows and slowly nods.  “Really? All I know is, I’ve heard her cry, both before and after she went to see you.  Gen and I were hoping going up to visit would have made things better, but it didn’t.  I’ve seen the hate she is getting today, she was blindsided in her morning panel because of your interview.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s gone.”

“Back at the hotel?

Jared looks at his watch, “no, she should be landing in Austin in about 30-40 minutes.”

“She left the convention?”

“Yeah.”

In that moment, knowing you were already gone, he had his answer.  He had been hoping to see you.  “Was it because of the interview?”

“No, she had already planned it.

“She didn’t want to see me.”

Jared shrugs, but they both know the answer.

“What about you?” Jensen asks him.

“Your mug is pretty ugly to look at.”  Jensen rolls his eyes before Jared continues.  “She keeps telling me not to let what happens with the two of you interfere with our friendship.  But it’s hard not to be upset with the guy that hurt my sister.  You have no idea how much I would love to take a swing at you right now.”

He nods in understanding, “I guess I could possibly deserve that.  But she isn’t the only one that was hurt here.  She blindsided me with that breakup,” Jensen tells him before he walks over to where Victoria is signaling him from.

The two men go out for their autograph sessions a little quieter than usual.  Clif asks them after what their plans are for the night, but both just opt to go back to the hotel and their respective rooms.  The next morning is a quiet ride with Clif back to the convention hotel.  

The guys are in the green room waiting for the start of the Gold Panel.

“I, uh, talked with Gen last night.  Y/N, got home safe last night.  She was still a bit upset at being caught off guard like that.  I told Gen what you said about the interview.  Not sure Y/N will believe us though.”

“Thanks, man.  Um, how’s Tom?”

“Good.  Keeps us on our toes, for sure.  I can’t imagine how crazy it’ll be with two.  He asked yesterday before I left when he could talk to you again.”

“I miss my buddy.  Wait.  Did you say two?”

“Yeah.”

“Gen’s pregnant?  Congrats buddy.”  Jensen moves to give his friend a hug.

“Thanks.  I thought we talked about this a month ago in Chicago?  Hasn’t Y/N said anything to you?”

Jensen is quiet for a few minutes, he can’t believe he missed this news.  Had the two of you talked about it?  Did Jared already tell him?  

They continue talking before going on stage.  The conversation doesn’t get deep, but they are trying to find their rhythm and work past this sinkhole in their friendship.  They have to make it work on stage very shortly.  It will take some time before things are like they were before, but neither one wants to lose a 10 year friendship.

The gold panel questions aren’t vetted first, so anything goes.  Which of course means there is going to be a question about the breakup eventually.

“Jensen we are so sorry to hear about what happened between you and Y/N, it’s just awful.  How are you holding up?” Someone questions.

He knows he needs to try and nip this before it keeps going.  “Thanks.  I will say this, and then I would appreciate it if there weren’t any more questions on this subject.  I had no intention of that coming out in the interview yesterday.  What’s going on is between Y/N and I.  Long distance can really suck.  You guys wouldn’t want to talk about your relationship troubles in front of hundreds of people.  I would hope you understand that we don’t either right now.”

When their afternoon panel comes around he has to make the same announcement at one point.  Jensen swears during photos and autographs that more fans than usual seem to be trying to flirt with him.

When they are finished for the day, Clif takes them both to the airport.  Their flights aren't too far apart in departure time.  Jensen tells Jared he’ll be back home in two weeks, and they talk about meeting up once he’s back in Texas.  After checking in, they head to their respective terminals.  

Jensen is waiting for his flight, feeling a little disappointed.  It would have hurt, but he would have liked to see you this weekend.  He’s spent a good part of the last 24 hours thinking about what Jared told him.  How you had been hurting for a while.  How had he not realized you weren’t happy any longer?

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 10

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#jensen ackles rpf #supernatural #jensen x female!reader #when it all falls apart #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles

[chifuyurain]

༺Till We Meet Again, Friend༻

[Yugo Asuma x GN VTuber OC]

Yoshikazu Utano is a twitch VTuber like Shoto and they would sometimes collaborate with other VTuber, despite them being under a company or not. On the day Noctyx debuted, Utano became really close with the members. Especially one of them as they treat him like their younger brother.

✦; Genre : Angst all the way cuz I'm sad asf rn (⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠෴⁠ ⁠༎ຶ⁠), fluff in the end

✦; Requested by : Yours truly ;-;

✦; Notes : As you know, it has been announced that Yugo has 'graduated'. I still can't believe that Yugo 'graduated' so fast. He's just the sweetest person I've ever seen. It's really a shock to everyone, especially his gen mates and fans (Yuguys).

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

"Everyone! Thank you for coming to the stream! Please, don't forget to drink enough water and eat a lot. Got it?"

Utano smiles as their model mimics their movement.

The chat went wild as they promised and bid their farewell to their VTuber.

FloofyPoofPoof: "Don't worry! We'll remember!"

ImdedImalive: "Sir, you better do that as well or we'll hunt you down"

Utasimp: "Rest well, Utata! See you in the next stream!"

Utano couldn't help and laugh, promising on their side to calm down their chat.

"Aight aight! Till we meet again! Bye bye!!"

With that said, the Liver ends their stream. Leaning against their chair as they stretch their body until a satisfying pop was heard. "Man, that took longer than I thought." They look at the time that showed that it's past 12 in the morning.

"Time for bed. Maybe, a small call with Yugo. It's been a while, I hope he's doing fine." They went on ahead, getting themselves ready for bed.

Doing the same old routine they do.

Brush their teeth.

Drink a good amount of water.

Change their cloths.

Then hit the hay.

The bed was so comfy, they started to feel drowsy already. They just got in a few seconds ago, was it really that comfy?

Maybe.

"Time to call."

They grinned, going through their Discord to search for their one and only close friend, Yugo Asuma. "Oh~ He's online~" Utano cooed, going over to start a private call between them.

Utano waited for a while, having to yawn once until the call was connected.

"Tata! You're still up!"

The sound of Yugo's voice was angelic, Utano thought they might have gone to sleep. "Yeah but not for long. I just finished streaming and now I'm in bed. How are you doing, Yuyu?" "Pretty good."

There was a small silence between them, causing Utano to mistaken if they fell asleep.

Thankfully Yugo spoke, grabbing their attention.

"Hey Tata, can we promise each other?"

"Hm...oh yeah- But why....though?"

Utano questioned, having to yawn in between their response. Yugo couldn't help and chuckled to hear it from his side of the line.

"Nothing too serious." "Sure....what are we- gonna.....promise?" They ask, their eyes were getting heavier by each minute. Utano tried the best they can to stay awake while they're still in call with Yugo.

"Promise that when the time comes for us to graduate, let's not forget each other."

"Why would I...forget you? You're one-...of my...closed friends. Heck.... you're actually my best friend..."

Yugo couldn't respond to that statement, yet a huge smile appeared on his face. His heart warmed up to hear that from Utano. "Yeah, you're right" He huffs out, going silent again for a good minute.

However, by the time he was about to ask again, Yugo could hear small snores from the other line.

"Rest well, Tata."

As Yugo was about to end their call, Utano jolted up in time to call his name. "Yuyu, can you sing a song?" "Of course! Anything for my senpai."

"I'm not even part of the company, Yuyu" Utano joked tiredly, yet the other just scoff at it. "Either way, you've been streaming way longer than me. So that makes you my senpai." Yugo grinned as he grabbed his guitar, strumming a light and slow tune.

"Okay okay...you win, kouhai..."

Yugo chuckled and started to sing a soft song to them. The way he strummed the guitar was just elegant and his voice was... angelic.

"When we meet...let's play the....guitar and make songs....together."

"Sure. Sleep well, Tata"

"Luv ya...."

Yugo paused in shock, looking at his phone and waited for another response from Utano. Yet all he could hear after that were small snores. The DJ took his phone, holding it close as he held back his cry.

His form shook as he didn't say the 'thing' to Utano.

"I'm sorry."

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"No...no...no, nO, NO!!"

Utano cried as they rushed out of their house. Running straight to one of Yugo's gen mates home.

They couldn't believe it.

How could they?

Utano woke up late today, causing them to miss some news which he was supposed to know. By the time they woke up, their phone was ringing with Sonny's name on the ID.

And when Sonny told them the news...

They bolted their way to the police's house without thinking twice.

"SONNY!!!"

Utano knocked on the door quite hard. Their form was shaking as they wanted to confirm the news they were given not too long ago. "Utano-" Sonny started after opening the door, yet he was greeted by his collar pulled by the shorter person.

"T-tell me this i-isn't true...He d-didnt graduated...r-right?"

Utano asked shakily, hands gripping Sonny's collar as it slowly loses its strength. The police just frowned and shook his head. Confirming that Yugo Asuma has 'graduated'.

"I'm sorry, Uta. I'm also still trying to process everything."

Sonny frowns, watching as Utano breaks down to the floor. Their appearance was messy until he noticed that he ran all the way here without shoes. The police frowns more as he helps Utano up to get inside.

The duo sat together in the living room in total silence. Utano's eyes lost their shine as they gazed at the table in front of them. Sonny was worried as he knew that Yugo and Utano were really close to each others.

There's no doubt that Utano is feeling this way right now.

"We just talked last night...but it didn't last long cuz I passed out to sleep"

Utano started, their head hung low to the thought that if they weren't that sleepy. They could have had a longer conversation with Yugo. Yet fate did not take their side at all.

"I don't even remember most of our talk too."

"Uh- Uta?"

"He did ask for a promise but I don't remember what it was-"

"Uta--"

"Why can't I remember a single thing?!"

"UTANO!!"

Sonny yelled, snapping the other back to reality. Utano turns their gaze to the blond, making him see that they're in tears again.

Yet the look on Sonny's face was....

Unexpected

"Uta, what are you talking about?"

H-...huh?

"Sonny, what do you mean?"

"Why are you crying? And why are we here in the first place?"

Sonny frowned in confusion, causing Utano to look at him in disbelief. "Sonny, you can't be serious- We were both just grieving about Yugo! What do you mean by 'why we are here'?!"

"Uta, who's Yugo?"

Crack

"W-what-"

"I don't remember anyone named Yugo. Are they your friends?"

No no no- this isn't right-

What's even happening?!

Utano stood up from the couch, backing away from Sonny in disbelief. The police too stood up, looking worried as he tried to approach Utano. His mouth was moving as if he was saying something yet they couldn't hear a single thing besides ringing.

Out of nowhere, Utano suddenly tumbles back and falls into a void. They scream in fear as they try reaching for the surface that ceases to be reachable.

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"AAH!!"

Utano jolted up awake, their form coated with cold sweat as they looked around to see that they are still in their room. They let out a huff, leaning against the bed frame to let their mind calm down for the nightmare.

Or was it even a nightmare?

Rushing to look at the clock, Utano noticed that it was 3 AM. They had only slept for 3 hours and it seems like they won't be going back to sleep any time sooner.

Utano didn't waste their time to try calling Yugo, noting that they're still awake from his visible status in Discord.

It didn't take long for their line to connect and just as Yugo was about to greet, Utano cut-in in panic.

"Y-yugo your're....graduating soon...r-right"

There was a long silence until sniffles can be heard from the other line.

"I'm sorry, senpai. I wanted to tell you earlier but you were so tired. I didn't want to disturb you anymore after your long stream."

"Yugo..."

"I-i'm really sorry, s-senpai..."

Yugo's voice began to crack as he tried his best to hold back his cry. However, Utano joined in as they wailed loudly. The nightmare gave them a fright, now adding the confirmation of Yugo's graduation made it worse.

"I'm not ready! I'm not ready for your leave! You haven't been there that long and now you're graduating!"

Utano cried, tears couldn't stop flowing down their cheeks. Yugo too cries on the other line, feeling the sadness coming from his senior trigger his sadness too.

No one spoked as they both cry their hearts out.

It was so sudden that both sides couldn't handle such a thing.

As time passes by, Utano and Yugo have finally calmed down. They both stayed up until morning as they did some small talk to each others. Retelling the memories they did together in and outside of stream.

They never met each other in real life and they have been planning to do so for content to both of their channels. Yet fate did not place itself in their hands.

"Yuyu, can we still play together even though you're not in the company anymore?"

"Yeah. Of course we can."

"I didn't think that your time would come to an end."

"Me too. I have so much I'd like to show everyone but I guess... now's not the time."

Utano hums in slight tiredness. "Tata, I suggest you rest. You only had 3 hours of sleep." "I'm alright. I want to stay with you until the announcement is made." Yugo couldn't help but smile as warmness fills his chest, yet he's still worried for the others well being.

"Have my number. Bet we won't be able to talk anymore through my current acc."

"Oh yeah. Everything will be private and all of your effort will be archived."

Utano's voice becomes quieter and quieter, sadness starts to pour on him again but then the sound of the guitar can be heard from the other side. "Hey! We can still make more memories! Even though I'm out soon, though that doesn't mean the end, right?"

Yugo smiles, trying his best to cheer his senpai up and it did. Utano couldn't help but chuckles to how lively Yugo sounds. Though they did take a hint of the slight sadness in his tone.

"You're right. That's a promise then."

"Yeah. A promise between us!"

Utano smiles and nods.

"Until we meet again, I'll always remember you as Yugo Asuma. Whoever you are in your next journey, you'll always be Yugo Asuma at heart."

"Thank you, Tata."

Utano and Yugo felt better now that things are well.

Yugo Asuma will be missed

His leave caused a big scar in his team, leaving Noctyx to 4 members left

However, even though they are left with 4 members, everyone will always remember that they came together as 5

5 members

5 brothers

A great big family of Noctyx.

We love you Yugo Asuma

May whatever path you chose next, whoever you are in your next journey, we'll always love you for being the best DJ in the world.

Thank you for the journey

Your hard work and effort will not be wasted.

Thank you, Yugo Asuma

Nijisanji EN Noctyx's DJ

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

#nijisanji #nijisanji en #nijisanji x oc #nijisanji yugo asuma #yugo asuma #yugo x oc #oc insert #gender neutral oc #gn oc #nijisanji angst #thank you yugo #nijisanji fluff #im sad let me be ;-;

[onmywaytofanfic]

NEW BEGINNINGS - CHAPTER 1

So... As I said in a previous post, I am working on a re-do of Reina's backstory. However, in teh process and thanks to a friend (@yamanaka-shin you keep putting ideas in my head D: ) an idea pop up, MutaxReina. I have not been able to change it and it hunts me...and it has turn into a very interesting AU and version of Reina that I want to investigate and check more. There is also someone else's OC is involve @kankuroplease ' s Katsura. I have talked so Katsura would be mentioned at some point....here you can see a little glimpse. But.... Welll.... REINA x MUTA is a reality !! BEWARE: That this is going to be hurtful. It is going to be a lot of angst, but it feels like healing too.

WARMINGS: Self-harm mentions (Not descriptions just innuendo)

WORDS: 1370

“Until this day… I wonder why I thought that they would come, why my head, my heart hoped that once I was out of there, I would see their smiling faces. I will finally feel what a mother’s hug feels like, what a father’s kind words are and how a brother’s shoulder feels like. I still wonder, what part of me led me to think that. I wonder what made me think that I had a choice. I kept safe the letter that informed all of us that Root was disbanded of their usage. It is something silly and stupid to keep. A letter that confirms that I was no longer part of Root, still…I don’t know why I hold onto it so much. Anyway, I kept it. I remember that I have pictured that moment plenty of times when the letter was in my hands. When I was…given… sold…I think trade feels more accurate. When they trade me for Tatsuma I… he…I’m sure that you will laugh about it but I felt happy. I thought that maybe, now that I did what I was supposed to do, maybe now…my mother would hug me. She just grabbed him like it looked so good. She was crying, she buried her face in his shoulder, and dad was smiling. It was the first time that I ever saw him smiling so much. I made them happy. I made them like that I…” She could not hold her tears any longer, a small whimper and a cry. The doctor gave her some tissues.

“It was me who they should be hugging…I make it possible for them to be together. It was I” She kept weeping. Ashamed buried her face in her hands, letting her mane flow wild “I did it, I was good. I did everything…I…” The doctor stopped writing for a second and touched her shoulder “You need to let things go now Reina. You are the one that needs to hug that child, not them, they never deserved you '' Gen had been of great help for her recovery. He was the doctor of the centre, well one of them. A Yamanaka as a therapist always sounds good. He was the best at his job, it took Reina some time…more than two months to start at least answering back “How are you, today?” Every other day they got that long hour of a session. Technically, if you do not undergo them, you can’t have visits coming over. However, he always asked her if she wanted a visit. She never answered back. 

“And then…” she cleansed her nose “Seeing Shino there just hugging his brother. Seeing Torune with his family and Shino with her…” She wiped out some tears “It’s just…” Gen nodded and wrote something on his notepad “trigger”. She laid down and kept hiding her face from him, she had recently started to talk that much in therapy, she even started to have some quick chats with some other interns and nurses. However, she kept that awful thing, she bit her lips and fingers, she knocked her head and sometimes hit her head with her wrist out of anger. Gen let all the things down and looked at the clock, it was time, it was over for today. “You are doing great, Reina. I thought that you will never talk ever again” Four months already locked out there. “I…I want to go out” confessed. The doctor stood up “That needs a little more time you know that” She nodded and rose leaving the room “Would you like to see someone this weekend?” she froze at the opened door. She was thinking for the first time about Gen’s proposal, her answers had always been direct and straightforward. She turned around with her ankles and look down, ashamed, scared…blushing.

“Could you ask…Aburame Muta if she wants to come?” 

“I will” 

She gave a gentle nod and disappeared. She rarely interacted with other patients; however, she did not deny the gentle nod of greeting nor answer when she was asked for something. She almost seemed like she started to trust people back. There were moments in which she could not hold it and just locked herself in her room, denied caring or even caring for herself. She stood in her bedroom now with the door closed and the window faintly open. It did not have much space, aside from the small bedroom, a tiny drawer where most of her belongings were and a small hand size mirror. The bathroom only had the WC, and you could wash your hands on top of it, the faucet was extensible, so it also served as a shower in less than 2 meters. Everything was packed uncomfortably, technically to encourage patients to socialize. It had the opposite effect on her, she was comfortable there, in a small space, not bothering anyone, not being a burden. She liked to be isolated, but lately she had found some stuff missing from outside.

The book shop, the bakery, the smell of freshly cooked cookies by Muta, the touch of the grass in her feet, the sound of street music, seeing the insects and the animals roam free in the compounds… She thought she hated everything, and now she was discovering everything that she was missing. Even clothes! She usually wore her uniform, even when she shouldn't, never allowing herself to dress up with anything that was not practical or functional. Now, she had found skirts and dresses and she was eager to try one of those on, to wear one. She wanted a summer dress, one of those that she had seen in the magazines that were in the common room. The people wearing them looked so happy, cheerful, full of life, she thought that it was something that those dresses gave to them. She knew the one that she wanted, a white one, with a small pattern of butterflies on it, a little bit above her knee maybe, and those lovely sleeves that only covered the shoulder. Maybe even some cleavage showing? Yes, maybe. She wanted one of those, and the sandals that had a little heel, they looked so fresh, so stunning. Whenever she saw someone wearing those in a magazine, they were beaming. Definitely, it was the dress that made that. 

She had started to send letters outside… to Muta. They were not that frequent, but when she found the courage to write to him, she spent hours writing and writing. She always asked if it was okay for her to write to him, and he replied that it did not matter, in fact he was glad to receive them. She also asked if it was okay to ask him to come, he always said that he would come. However, not until today, had she given him the possibility to come. She felt selfish, as if she somehow was trapping the guy, not letting him go but… Now she felt ready to know him. After all, who would have liked to be sold as a bride? Yet, she felt that it was unfair…she felt now, that it was unfair for her side to blame everything exclusively on him. Some people told her that it wasn't, some people told them that it was. He accepted the marriage proposal, as he had told her, to help her escape. He said it on the wedding night, “I don’t want anything from you but for you to be happy. Just, forget that we are married if that makes you feel good. I just wanted you out of there” But weren’t there any better options to do so? Maybe just asking her if she wanted to be married, although she already knew that she would deny it. That if his father and uncle did not accept and requested that arranged marriage, she would still be there…with her father and brother. Maybe, she thought, luckily, she felt a twist in her stomach, maybe dead too. 

She laid on the bed, her insects buzzing and dancing around her. She had stopped to do many hurtful things, her hive started to answer back. Her hive, fighting her back. Not all hope was lost within her.

Some drawigns of these two... they are nto that good but here you got some.

SPOILER: She is just unconscious, she is good.

#WARMING: SELF-HARM #It is just mentioned it is not depicted #onmywaytofanfic #reina aburame #muta aburame #reinaxmuta #aburame clan #aburame oc #redoing stuff #naruto oc #naruto fanfic #reina deserves a creator that loves her #I shouln't be so mean to her but I am #fanfic #naruto fanfiction #fanfiction #oc stuff #Muta and Reina are a good couple together but they are going to suffer

[court-jobi]

Better Angels

Pairing: Thorin x Tessa (Modern OC)

Words: 3,489

Ratings: Gen Audience

Warnings: none

A/N:  The grief -fresh in her dearheart's soulful eyes- tumbles around with Tessa's head with heartache of her own, and what follows is told through her POV.

Summary:  After their brief time apart, morning found Tessa finally rejoining the others in the makeshift infirmary on Erebor's groundfloor. By Mahal's Grace and every dwarves' fingers-crossed, Thorin Oakenshield II pulled through and is in recovery after his skiff on Ravenhill. The Mountain seemed even brighter on the inside, its history far beyond what she imagined. Tessa couldn't hold back her questions in her eagerness to see him again, and wanted to hear everything from his own lips. Thorin welcomed her familiar, doting company at his bedside, but also realized he has his guilt to reckon with before he can even consider taking the Throne as King. In his honesty to Tessa, he shares his bout with darkness that threatened to take his sanity and respect, and hopes this does not stain her view of him in return. Clearly she missed something big....

Read on AO3

It hit me the next morning when I woke– I never asked about the Throne Room! 

Every dwarf filing into the Halls was bustling with important things like keeping their King alive, so I never thought to stop someone and ask to see it. I was drained enough as it was, when I saw him… what a sight that must have been. Even after a wash down, I felt dirty as sin from ash and smoke and leftover dragon bile, topped with a mess of tears seeing him on the brink of life and death. 

My adrenaline tanked when my head hit the pillow, and though every square inch of this place needed a deep clean with a couple hundred Swiffer mops, I was way too exhausted to care about tidiness. In our huddle outside the hospital wing, there was a fire, the six of us non-injured Company members sleeping in shifts just like old times- that comfort meant the world to me after the days I spent away. 

In the morning I found myself raring to help, but wanted to go back and check in with everyone, first thing. When we all visited our friends and brothers again with breakfast in tow, I took my waiting place on the King’s bed while Dori checked on Fili first. 

Wrappings and heat warmers aside, Thorin sported color in his cheeks today, which was a fantastic sign. Sleep must have come easier with the roots Oin gave him. From the way he moved, his abdomen must be feeling better because he could scoot up to the headboard all on his own, making room for me to sit. 

Washing down my first bite, I shared my waking thoughts with him, 

“Well, hon, if we can get you out of this bed here soon, it’s time to get you back to your throne where you belong~. It’s all yours now, isn’t it!” 

There’s so much I wanted to catch up on; time flew as we'd spent the last few weeks away from each other in a whirlwind. Surely he'd had plenty of time to refamiliarize himself with his home before the battle. Our friends had been armed and prepared for it, judging by the state of everyone's armor. 

I really should've paced myself; Thorin only just woke up. But I couldn't bite back the questions now, there were so many. But I was most curious about him– what living meant, now that he'd made it through the night and could see his future more brightly,

“How does it feel? Take you right back? Only now, you're taking the best seat in the house," I remembered aloud.

…Thorin's expression fell altogether. The last thing I ever wanted to have happen because of something I said; I regretted asking- though I didn’t know why.

“-What?”

Then abruptly he just– cut away. Not looking at me at all, but rather his feet; sulking away like the sad sight of a guilty child. Even when I cocked my head to cue him to look up, he wouldn't.

In all these months, this was the first ounce of hesitation I’d ever seen in Thorin. The one time I’d ever dare call him feeble: 

"Thorin?"

"I-... They’ve not told you, have they."

"Told me what?"

Grief heaved across his face. You can tell by the way he struggled to breathe– the normal ebb of his chest didn’t lift in that steady, sure rise. 

In the gap of quiet, I stretched out, turning from my twisted seat off the side of the bed to prop up my legs alongside his. He wiped at his brow with a still-stiff hand in search of words, the right words. Whatever had happened proved hard for him to swallow, let alone speak.

"A grace that they didn’t." Thorin murmured under his breath before speaking up, "You weren't here to see it, when we arrived at the Door. To see me, what became of me inside.” To pacify my growing worry, Thorin laid his hand over mine.  “And to be true, I am glad for it."

Under his palm, I held it back to try and stop its tremor. "See you? In– what way?"

The confession barely passed his lips,

 "... I turned goldsick."

The longest fear he’d held: the one taunted to him by kings and trolls alike for months- refusing at every turn to anyone who would listen the very idea of succumbing to his grandfather’s fate –

...it came true anyway.

"Oh, Thorin," I only scooted closer- not away, never away. (And that, plainly, surprised him, if his brows freezing in place was any indication.) "What happened?"

Internal debate brought Thorin's eyes to close for a minute, but he shook his head at the end, 

"The things I said, I cannot take back.  I'd give nearly anything for the chance to scrub them away... How Bilbo can even look me in the eye is beyond me. It's inexcusable." 

The groove of his top lip twitched at some tortured memory,

"Once the dragon left, my heart turned toward the gold around me, and never looked away. This- damned lust settled in my chest… Had this grip on my mind and– what felt like my very soul. It was a dream, and not a dream, because I can remember every moment passed .. almost like a morning fog."

Thorin reasoned with the thought a moment, the followed up, 

"To answer you, I’ve not returned to that cursed room. How could I? How can I sit there, when the very sight of the gilded stone we used in our haste lies poured solid across the floors below?… It reflects everywhere. We’d never piece it up again if we tried for another sixty years."

His heavy brows sagged in their agony. I listened on until Thorin's large thumb stilled and held onto my hand like a lifeline,

"I was horrid, Tessa. You'd never recognize me."

How his heart made the claim as fact so surely, broke mine.

"Of course I would. You're still you, even if you're 'not yourself'."

"-But I was myself.” 

Thorin finally braved to look up: firm as ever, and brokenhearted,

“–Foul and greedy and sick," he said, "Even in the dark when I lay alone trying to sleep. My madness mixed about with the fallen who came before me; the curse passed through my lips as it would their own. I could taste those acrid words as they slipped from me– and I believed them. I'd–...I believed every word." 

I knew my pity must have been readable, because his guilt rose with each sin he confessed:

“I led us to war when it was not necessary. Peace may have been an option, had I but honored my word. Our allies presented joint arms and I refused. I set my brethren to count coins instead of hunt, I let men, women, children dig themselves out from Smaug’s wreckage and leant no help– all while I writhed in my wealth and excess.” Thorin’s words wavered with his head, “I set my own.. my own kin to anger against me. It is by Mahal’s Grace that I have them with me now.”

It clicked why no one told me. This seemed like a huge shift in Thorin’s character to have watched him suffer through. Seemed it was aptly named- a sickness. One he’s clearly sought forgiveness for, and they’ve very clearly wished for nothing more than to move on from. I could see it in how Balin prayed over his healing, how Kili kept asking about him, how everyone cared so much– even given how he’d allegedly treated them all.

The very sink of his shoulders pushing him down sent my chest into an ache. Prostrate as David before the Lord– or as much as he could manage in a makeshift bed.

"I am worthy of that throne no more.” Thorin braced his head as he had before, “Who would follow a slipshod king prone to such weakness?"

This was his truth as he knew it. I reached for Thorin’s other hand.

"Here, c’mere–” 

While he looked tense to receive anything resembling comfort in this moment when he’s already so exposed of the heart, Thorin surrendered it. 

Massive, steel-worn hands, cupped by thin, spread-wide fingers like mine… harmless by comparison. 

Holding them fast seemed second nature; with both the reverence as a king deserved, but also with the care of someone who oh-so deserved something soft for once in his life. No rings adorned his hands now. Before I would have thought this was necessary for hygiene and bandaging; though now I suspect it was a choice of unworthiness. I couldn’t stop myself; I kissed them both. 

I still can’t fathom having a royal title over my head like he does. Holding any kind of political office –or even some stuffy position on a board of trustees seems daunting enough to me. With royal expectations and generations' past leaving their pressures lying on my shoulders like a fur cloak, not to mention being held up by a bum leg that's keeping me trapped to a bed for the next few weeks? That handicap alone –however temporary– would be frustrating enough on its own. 

And to face the oliphaunt in the room, let no one forget that this room is chock full of people suffering from injuries from top to bottom. There was a war outside these walls. We fought a frickin’ war and won. 

Really, what could I say to give counsel to a mastermind behind that undertaking? 

But as I sat back up, the way this guy looked at me caught me in the moment. His eyes set to hear my words like I hung the stars myself. This reminds me of every time we’ve gotten a second alone: this is Thorin. This is the man - no. ‘It's dwarf, lass, and a proud one’- that has to sit with himself at the end of the day, and reason with the same questions as anyone else: 

‘Have I done my best’, ‘Was it enough’, ‘What can I do better tomorrow’. 

And yes, he has to think about those things for the greater good of his people, first… but I’m positive he worries over those things for his own peace of mind. Or else, why would he have brought his friends, his kin, his own flesh and blood along with him to the hardest challenge of his life? He needed them. Surely, even he wrestled with those wants when he’s completely alone. The ones that crop up in the quiet, from the haze of his pipe, 

–a calm, quiet, ‘I could really use a friend right now’.

Rubbing out the tension in his hands is my next move- a nervous gesture of busyness I tend to hide most of the time when I make some excuse to be around him. But it does serve a purpose of relief. Not much, but maybe enough for now.

I offered my hardest to relate, to ease that tension in his brow:

"We all have inner demons. Whether they were born there or worked their way in somehow. And sometimes, our better angels are just so quiet, it's hard to hear them over the noise."

Thorin cocked his head to understand the idea.

"But you listened, hon'," a pause to give a kiss to his tented knuckles, and again, "You listened to your angels in the end; they haven't left you. You came out of it. You chose to do that, yourself. And they all know that–” 

Thorin glanced to where I nodded: somewhere behind me, to the hall and Halls beyond. 

“There's no second thoughts from any of them, whether or not to follow you."  I assured him "–wasn’t any doubt from the start. Your Company was well-chosen. Knew every one of those concerns, always heard you out, and yes- maybe even considered that temptation about you. And yet, they still kept with you anyway, and from the looks of things- all your injuries, notwithstanding- every risk was worth it."

And these were no small injuries- to him, least of all. Scores of his own kind lost their lives in this fight.

My gut backpedaled to the point, 

"That's not to say I'm happy for what you went through! Please don't think that I'm grateful for that part; you've suffered enough." My fingers slipped to lace through his. "Hearing voices- ghosts, insomnia, what have you- that sounds like a form of torture I’d not wish on my worst enemy. Thorin, no one would want more of that for you... you don't deserve it."

To prove I was earnest, I took a few fingers to chip his chin up from where he locked onto my hands in wonderment. This part was important:

"But– you’re no less deserving of what’s rightfully yours just because you stumbled. That's being human– mortal, guilty to a fault. It can, and has, and will, happen again to even the highest among you.”

Thorin is listening– but that edge of doubt still bobbed his head back and forth, scoffing at the idea. Too hard on himself, this one.

“If it wasn’t you, might’ve been Fili next, wouldn’t it? By your thinking, this temptation would have been the 'Durin Family Blight of Erebor'.”

At this, Thorin’s sights flitted to his nephew’s bed, across the way. A spike of fear and steely readiness shook his bones, unseen. He hadn’t considered that. 

“You think… he would have done the same?”

“Maybe,” I shrugged a little lightly. “- and even if he did,” the fact remained, “Would you have turned away from his side because of how it changed him?”

A quick, sharp blurt, “Never.”

Of course, you wouldn't. I smirked through it. 

“And do you think I wouldn’t be telling him the same thing I’m telling you now? It’s no less true, no matter who in your family this applies to.”

This was funny territory, playing hypotheticals in reverse– to rework the past rather than guessing the future. The Company thrived on telling me visions of Erebor our whole way here; didn’t give a second thought to the life I’d left behind, and instead fed be images that I wasn't totally certain I believed at the time. Plus I’m still not sure where I stand on the whole ‘cursed gold’ situation myself. That sounds like the kind of thing from faerie tales. 

–Then again, here I am in Middle Earth… so I’ll be shutting up now.

“Point is, whatever happened when you first came here is no reason to abdicate your throne, Thorin.”

A little, thoughtful hum passed in the moment, though he didn’t look altogether convinced. 

Thorin's sights still flickered to Fili, thoughtfully as he pondered his nephew. 

I stopped him in his tracks, 

“His time will come, you said so yourself.” I blocked his view with a little lean, “But now’s not the time to step down. You’ve done nothing by step up and up and up. The moment you came back to your right self, you came out onto that balcony and asked them to follow you head first against an entire Orc legion, and lead the charge yourself." 

The imagery still thrilled me. Kili made it sound so glorious- majestic. In fact- given what he’d overcome, it meant even more now.

"--You are their King– the only one they'd ever accept after all this time. And the one they'd live and sing and die for, even now."

And then– that look came back. Like a narrative was swirling around my head like Tweedy-birds, Thorin looked me over like a man dazed.  

Y'know, to put my finger on it, he stared just the same as he did at every stop and rest we’d taken from the Rolling Hills to Dale. He’s mulling over things I’d said, trying to ‘get me’. I hoped he’d be remembering the good ones:

'It's coming, Blue Eyes. You've earned the rest that comes at the end of this- even if I have to beat it into submission. I've got little arms, but sheer Southern spite to back it up.-- Don't believe me? I'll do it!'

'Yknow I may not have a magic 8-ball in front of me, but I see a couch in your future. A couch, a bed of ridiculously-sized pillows, a hot bath, and all the mead you can drink. (No, Nori, I’m not a wizardess! NO, it's not real magic-It’s an expression!)'

'Home is coming; peace is coming- for you, and everyone else. Please, for the love of God, take it when the time comes.'

You've suffered enough.

You've suffered enough.

You've suffered enough.

Wait… 

Oh God, Thorin’s one blink away from crying. 

And I would too, if I wasn't careful. Sympathetic crier..

Was I that good at making folks emotional?? Didn’t take much around me, apparently. Balin, the Ri’s, Kili, even Bombur that one time I sang a flipping Hamilton song. (Then again, if you don’t choke up at ‘Burn’, do you even have a heart?)

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for the worst of things, Thorin…” I shook any heady mush away. “But seeing you now, I'd take every ounce of that dragon-sick memory from you if I could, if it'd only take that poor look off your face."

Thorin pardoned the sentiment with a brush to my hands entrapped in his. 

"N'yway, I think… Even at its worst?… It's nothing I wouldn't have loved you through."

The bleary haze sobered, Thorin flickered to life.

"Loved?" he asked. 

What could I say?

…well. Yes. “Love,” I decided. “Present tense.”

Not the finest confession, but we’d danced around the label so far and said everything but the three words to each other. 

I knew it, felt it, even if I’d not said it. 

And yet… I don’t quite know what I was expecting, but Thorin sure didn't melt into a full-on puddle at whatever I said in those imaginings. Not as he did now. Blue Eyes just centered back on my hand and sniffed his emotion back. I think I rendered him speechless, until he glanced up he chimed into his regular, deep timbre,

“Master Oin,”

I turned to see our lovely healer Oin in his element, with a massive tray harness coming up on my right. His vending case of herbalist goods was traded out to what he usually must work with in an infirmary, filled with all sorts of things; namely bandage rolls, compresses, and sacks of medicine pouches. Just in time for the King’s daily dose. 

“Aye, got yer breakfast in ye already, Thorin? Gonna have to keep you, ‘round, lassie,” Oin’s free hand batted at my shoulder and shook it, “Pulling teeth to get him to eat somethin’ down last night, it was...”

I gave Thorin a bit of a look, to which he muted an eye roll. 

“Call me childish all you like,” Thorin droned, “But my stomach was in knots, in both senses of the word.”

“And ye know what helps that along? Bit of this, bit of that– and a solid meal in you to settle in!” Oin’s curmudgeonly side kicked into high gear, pointing at just the sorts of things Thorin needed to get well. Of all his patients at the moment, seems the one that needed the most ‘patience’ indeed was the King himself. 

Dwalin teased me just earlier that I might need to keep on snack duty for the foreseeable future, just to make sure no one keels over. 

Gotta say, this wasn’t the most ideal timing, given we were most definitely interrupted, but I slid off the bed with a happy step, straightened the covers to let Oin have his space.

“I’ll leave you to it,” I cleared the way, and to Thorin, “And I’ll gladly check on you later with a bite of lunch, huh?”

“Please do,” Thorin answered at the ready. A touch softer than he just quipped back to Oin, but he returned to his usual self as Oin chattered along with the usual rounds of questions about every bit of his body and if it still hurt the same.

Thorin was a hard read most of the time– but never to me, and not about what we’d just talked about. There was no mistaking that soft look in his eye that promised more; he smiled back when I took his empty bowl with me.

I nodded to them both as I left, making an effort to keep a snarky smile back at his puppy-like expression that all but apologized for the intrusion out loud. Given his state of calm, I relished in the little signs he gave that he was feeling better in more ways than one.

I’m not a long-time friend of his by any stretch; our time together so far has been but a blink in the span of his life… but I’m so proud of him. And truthfully, I’d follow him anywhere.

#DiME: Sanâzyun #thorin oakenshield #the hobbit fanfiction #thorin x oc #my oc #my work

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

#the old guard #tog #tog fanfiction #tog meta #immortal family #nile freeman #mine #damn look at me contributing to a fandom! that’s new #pls reblog if you like this my self esteem could really use it #I just love nile so much and I’m being the nile-centric content I want to see in the world #it is just genuinely nuts to think abt how this situation would be perceived by anyone outside the narrative #she just mysteriously heals from a fatal injury and then VANISHES!!! this should be national fuckin news #also I do think there’s a major hole in the story when you think abt social media #like the only time it’s even hinted at is right at the very beginning when Andy erases that girl’s selfie #and the concept of fuckin Reddit is not even brought up despite Copley’s stalker board being analog Reddit #there’s just a lot of places one could go with this which is very much what we got here #1k

[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

[kakubun]

marked memories

pairing: bonten x gen!reader (kakucho centered)

a/n: if anyone's wondering, requests are still open so flood my inbox!!

warnings: slight angst, really fluffy

kakucho wasn't fond of the cold.

he thought he could grow pretty used to it after not putting a shirt countless of times to show off his tattoo but he always needed to pull his cloak a lot more closer to him to not freeze to death.

he had to completely cover himself of course, it was snowing.

he held out his hand to feel the particles of the white frost dropped onto his hand, december was his favourite time. remembering how his best friend played in the snow with him and how he would get revenge on him by throwing two snowballs at him in the nose. eventually it makes them both get the flu and they stop by a nearby cafe to get hot cocoa while giggling to themselves about how the cream on their chins made them look like santa.

it didn't hurt that much anymore, remembering izana was like a bookmark in the pages of his book; there to remind him of the page and the page were the events of what he and izana went through.

he felt a lot more at ease, thinking this must be how izana wanted it to be. not wanting his pal to be so stuck on him and heart broken instead he wanted him to be remembered as a chaotic memory that happened in his teen years.

he tugged on the sweater he had on, smiling to himself that you were the one who made it.

he took a step back, remembering how you gift it to him.

_________________________________________

sanzu couldn't stop thinking he was being ignored by you or rather pushed away? he didn't do anything wrong to push you off the edge right? he tapped his finger on the table, trying to think what made you so upset.

"haru, they're not upset. they're avoiding everybody" his brother told him, putting down his cigarette to pull out a new one and his brother side glancing him to get an answer but akashi didn't have one. having no idea why you're avoiding everybody, they decided to approach kakucho on the issue.

"you know they're also not talking to me right?"

sanzu rocked him back and forth, begging him to atleast try again with his efforts and kakuco rolled his eyes, tired of sanzu's shenanigans.

and yes, it pushed him to ask you.

he was also curious to why you slowly stopped talking to each of the executives, even the haitani brothers you were close to. you were locked in your room most of the time except when you were hungry or needed to grab something from outside and you would quickly end any conversations.

he thank himself for not being that much of a weirdo because if he were to turn out like sanzu or rindou then the windows to your room were already smashed open to see what were you doing. he thinks you were having a bad day or you're not ready to open up about something you wanted to tell them so he let you be but it didn't hurt to ask?

he tried not to let sanzu get dragged in or spy on him to see what you'll do because he's sure you wouldn't like that? too bad he couldn't push off the guy from interrupting him or sneaking behind him to see you.

kakucho knocked on your door, nervous enough to tap his foot against the floor and to his suprise you quickly opened it to yank him in.

sanzu stood there dumfounded, kakucho haven't even asked why were you like this ever and yet he was the first one for you to talk to?! sanzu scoffed and ran off, muttering curses under his breath.

kakucho let out a noise that you hurriedly clamped your hand over, both of you looked into each other eyes with panic and you and uh, you had to repeat whatever you just said.

"uh what?"

"okay okay, i'm sorry give me 3 minutes.. no, five!"

you ran back to the spot near your drawer, ducking yourself under the bed to work on what was in your hands. kakucho got up slowly to sit near your study table and admired your room a little.

clean except for the trays of dirty plates and glasses you had and a few files of papers here and there, your room overall looks cozy no wonder you're stuck here.

he wasn't really sure why would you let him in except for the others, even the two friends you were close with? this might be a big suprise for him but he wondered what? what was the reasoning behind what were you going to give him? your trained hands doing the job was telling him enough you were making something.

maybe you wanted his opinion? so you pulled a random person in the room for them to judge your work? that doesn't add up.

in the midst of thinking of what were you doing, you poked at his shoulder and both his eyes looked towards you and you never would not be taken aback by his handsome features. you nervously hold up something with both hands and it was a.. sweater?

"ah.. what is this?"

he slowly took it in his hands and felt the comfortable material and noticed the small chibi version of a certain someone, it was him? his blind eye and his scar on his face was perfectly reflected on the version of him and he couldn't help smiling. thinking of how much of a precious gift it was.

it reminded him of when izana gave him an ugly sweater and he complained that it was too itchy and the material was barely covering him but then izana took it off kakucho's chest when he saw a dog shivering in the snowy cold.

a small shiba inu being left on the streets, why would a cruel person do that? both boys took the yapping dog in their arms to warm it with the sweater and it felt content to be hugged by his two miracle rescuers and snuggled closer to them.

sadly, they didn't have the right things to take care of it so they drop it off at an adoption center. waving at it and kakucho swore there were small tears gathering near izana's eyes but he didn't speak of it.

the tiny dog slowly dissappearing from their sight when one of the caretakers took it back to inspect any injuries or pain that the dog had and the two boys walk back in silence wishing for a happy future for the dog to be in, a family they hoped.

"there's also something i wanna give you but i don't know if it's too childish for you-" a tight hug from him stopped you from saying anything else and you hugged him back, he was really warm.

the childish thing in your hand was a small shiba inu plush keychain that had its tongue sticking out and kakucho could cry to how thankful he is that you were kind enough to give him such things for no special event. you just thought he deserved it since he helped you move in some boxes and helped clean up.

he chuckled to how adorable the dog was, letting the thin tongue flap back and forth as it was blowing raspberries at him.

the same keychain he was holding out in the cold stuck in the palm of his hand due to its cuteness and he smiled softly, still thinking about the memory of izana groaning that they haven't gave it a name but kakucho only wished to see the small pup again; even bigger than the last time he've seen it.

he pulled out his gloves and fit them on, rubbing his hands together to form heat and it was time to get back to bonten's hideout. but a poke on the back of his leg shocked him.

a snout repeatedly poked him and he turned back and a dog politely sat, stopping it's actions when the man looked back at him.

his throat went dry, though the dog didn't understand; it's head tilting sideways to why he was suprised to the sight of him.

a memory was always something for him to cherish and keep, although he knows that he won't see them ever again but what if something from his memory popped up back again in his life?

kakucho opened up his arms and the dog immediately pounced on him, he didn't know if it was a sign or not but the poor pup that izana and kakucho saved had appeared again, rubbing his snout into kakucho's chest

this was another page he'll look back at when he places his bookmark, a sweet one he'll keep.

tag tag: @lucylicious , @makimoo , @haruchyio , @fyotituti , @coconois , @gyros-cum-sock , @ashrakat-lovesbaji , @dragon-chica , @erisamorette , @crapimahuman , @kawaii-desv , @xxrwzy

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo rev x reader #bonten x reader #bonten x you #bonten #bonten fluff #bonten headcanons #bonten hcs #sanzu x reader #mikey x reader #kakucho x reader #kokonoi x reader #ran x reader #rindou x reader #akashi x reader #kakucho x y/n #kakucho fluff #tokyo revengers kakucho #kakucho hitto #kakucho headcanons #kakucho x you

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 9) - Inner Demons

Summary: The reader meets Gen for the first time while the boys are having a day together. But when they come home early and Jensen overhears the reader, a very big discussion about what they both expect out of their relationship has to happen...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Square: Skinny Dipping

Word Count: 5,100ish

Warnings: mature (language, skinny dipping, implied future smut, angst, self-doubt)

A/N: Please enjoy! Also written for @spnkinkbingo​

________

“No,” whined Zeppelin as Jensen carried him out of the bedroom for the third time that night. “Daddy, I want to sleep with you.”

“Zeppelin. You gotta be a big boy and go to sleep. It’s midnight and way, way past bedtime,” said Jensen. He started to cry loudly and Jensen set him down. “Do you want a time out? I’ll give you one first thing in the morning if you don’t behave.”

He ran over to you and grabbed your leg, burying his face in it. Jensen sighed, tired after a long day and you knew he needed some sleep. You squatted down and Zeppelin grabbed at you, shaking a bit. You frowned, Jensen catching it as you picked up the little boy. 

“He can stay,” you said. Jensen made a face but you carried him into the room, Jensen grumbling to himself. You let Zeppelin crawl into the middle and immediately grab his father when Jensen got under the covers. He was asleep quickly, Jensen kissing the top of his head. “He’s scared.”

“He had a tantrum. He’s four,” whispered Jensen. “He needs to sleep on his own or he gets dependent.”

“You’re his father. He’s already dependent,” you whispered. “He’s a little you.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means he missed his daddy and he has been the one telling his sisters for three weeks daddy’s coming home soon. I don’t care if he sleeps in our bed, Jensen. Sometimes he has to be a big boy but not tonight.”

“He was very...he’s very much me,” he said quietly, fixing the blankets over his son. “He’s in tune with other’s emotions.”

“I know,” you said. “He’s a sweet boy.”

“When I was a kid, around seven or so, my dad went out to LA for about two months for work. We didn’t have the money for him to fly back and forth so he drove out there. He would call every night but it was long distance and it was expensive back then so all I got to do was say hi to him really. Somewhere in the middle of the two months he drove back to visit for a weekend. I was so excited. So, so excited. I was gonna tell him all about school and my baseball games and the jumping contest my brother and I had on the swings. I was so pumped. He said he was gonna be there Saturday morning for breakfast. Well, I wake up, run downstairs, he’s not there. Lunch rolls around, he’s not there. Afternoon snack time rolls around…”

“He’s not there?” you asked, Jensen nodding. “What happened?”

“Never left LA. Got in a car accident. He was fine but this was the eighties and my mom didn’t get a phone call until the afternoon saying he wouldn’t be coming home. I thought a hundred million things in my head of why he wasn’t there. That achy pit in your stomach. When he finally came home a month later, I slept in their room, in their bed. That little achy feeling went away after that night. I know how much he’s like me,” he said, lightly running his fingers over Zeppelin’s head. “But I gave him that part of me too and I wish I hadn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s too little to worry about me.”

“He’s okay and he’s not gonna worry after tonight. But Jensen, there’s nothing wrong with him having that part of you. It’s a really good part, the part that loves the people he cares about. Right now he doesn’t understand it but someday he will and that’s going to make him a person people will be fortunate to have in their lives. That’s a great part of you he got.”

“Just have to go and make me feel better, don’t you,” he said softly. He closed his eyes and smiled. “Think I’m doing an okay job at this?”

“Yup,” you said. Zeppelin turned over in his sleep, smashing his face into your arm. 

“You care for them,” said Jensen. You nodded and he burrowed down into the sheets. “Because of me or your job?”

“It always helps the job,” you said. “When you nanny, you want the kids to feel comfortable with you and caring about them always makes that easier. But I don’t...I don’t like them because I decided I liked their dad, you know?”

“Why did you then?”

“People with money sometimes let their children get raised by that money and you can tell when it happens. But it’s so obvious that doesn’t happen with them. They have nice toys and clothes and things but they’re good and funny and smart and they could very easily be brats if you went the easy route but you didn’t and it just shows. Sure they’re kids and they can drive anyone to the brink of insanity at times, but they got big hearts, especially for dad. I just like them and seeing them grow into those people more every day.”

“Me too,” he said, Zeppelin rolling back, fisting his hands into Jensen’s shirt this time. He smiled and you leaned over, kissing him goodnight, pecking one on Zeppelin’s head. “Night.”

“Night Jensen.”

The next afternoon when you arrived at Jared’s house you weren’t sure what you were expecting. Jared and Jensen were off doing who knew what and you felt like you’d been set up on a playdate yourself. You’d dropped off the kids there more than once already and knew their kids but for some reason or other you’d yet to meet Gen. You swallowed as you followed the kids around the side of the house, the three of them taking off to go play with their friends on a swing set. You looked around and bit your bottom lip, fixing your bag over your shoulder.

“Y/N?” called a voice. You turned and saw a woman behind you, a bit sweaty in some workout clothes. “Hey. I’m Gen. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Thanks. You too,” you said. 

“Come on,” she said, waving you to follow her up some steps to a patio. “Tom! JJ!”

“We know!” they shouted back from the swings. She shook her head and sighed.

“Not that any of the little ones can get over to the pool anyways but I want to remind them to keep an eye on the younger ones when I’m inside,” she said, showing you to a patio door. You followed her inside, Gen walking into a kitchen and going straight to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of cold water. 

“They have hair like their dad,” you said.

“Yes, yes they do. Getting them to get a haircut is like herding cats,” she said. She gulped down her water and let out a deep breath. “Do you mind if I shower quick? Time got away from me.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you said. 

“There’s a bathroom right around the corner there. Feel free to take whatever from the kitchen if you want. I’ll be back in ten,” she said. 

“No problem,” you said. When she was upstairs you went back outside, leaving your bag in a patio chair. You went down the steps and watched the kids running around for a moment before exploring their backyard. “Here I thought your backyard was nice Ackles.”

“Y/N, will you play tag with us?” asked Arrow from over in the grass.

“How could I say no to a face like that?”

Fifteen minutes later you were warm and taking a break under the patio again out of the sun, the kids playing on the slide and swings now.

“Remember when we had endless energy like that?” asked Gen as the back door opened. 

“Barely,” you said, a margarita glass set down in front of you. “I see we’re going to be very good friends.”

“It’s so hot out today,” she said, setting a pitcher and another glass down on the table. She poured you a glass and then herself one before taking a seat beside you. “I bet the boys are out jet skiing.”

“They really are like a pair of children when you get them together,” you said.

“Yeah but it’s cute. Most people don’t ever get to have a best friend like that,” she said. “Sometimes they need their space from each other but Jared’s literally been counting down the days until Jensen gets back.”

“I don’t think Jensen will ever stay away that long again. He missed his family and friends. Home,” you said. 

“We’re glad to have him back. He’s been gone for a while. Even before you went to Canada,” she said.

“Were you good friends with...” you asked, Gen nodding. “I’m sorry.”

“It sucked. Still does,” she said. “When the boys were off, we could hang out. We got very close. After the accident I was the one taking care of the kids, helping his parents and family with their day to day. Jared focused more on Jensen, helping him physically get back to normal and then mentally. But you know how he was when you met him.”

“I know a lot of work went into helping him get there. I’m very grateful he had you guys,” you said.

“Listen...I’m hoping we can be good friends too. It was different for me and Dee. We both were dating the boys around the same time, got married around the same time. I know we don’t have that and...I just hope we can have that relationship still.”

“Me too. I know we’re probably gonna be seeing you guys a lot now that neither of them are working,” you said.

“Probably most everyday,” she said. “They’re like twins separated at birth or something I swear.”

“Has Jensen always been a bit quiet?” you asked.

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen that boy drunk off his ass and being a troublemaker but he’s always been that way. Maybe it’s why he and Jared fit. They’re protective of each other in different ways. Jared’s the loud one out of the two of them, always has been and Jensen, even if he is your best fucking friend, sometimes he’s a little bit quiet.”

“I figured as much. He’s just…”

“Gentle,” she said, a smile coming to your face. “You two are pretty serious, huh.”

“Maybe.”

“It’s been five months. I’d say it’s serious. You move in yet?”

“Technically I’ve always been moved in,” you said. She laughed and took a sip of her drink. “Yeah. We’ve gotten to the sharing a room stage very recently.”

“You must be very special then,” she said. “He was never gonna fall in love ever again. Told Jared and me himself. Now he’s as lovestruck as the first time around.”

“I’m not expecting…” you said, sipping on your drink. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Like I said, we can be friends without the boys,” she said. “What aren’t you expecting?”

“This,” you said with a shrug. “Marriage. Kids of my own. I don’t know where it goes with Jensen.”

“You should start having those talks with him,” she said, your head shaking. “You have to, just so you’re on the same page.”

“I don’t even know if we’re reading the same book,” you said. She nodded and you slumped back into your seat. “I know I love him and that he loves me. But I don’t know if that’s enough.”

“A friend once told me that’s all you need,” said Jensen behind you. You turned around and Jensen was standing there, a sad smile on his face. “We wanted to come hang out with you guys. Y/N?”

You got a smile from Gen as you followed Jensen inside, Jared slipping past and out back. You crossed your arms and looked down, Jensen stepping close to you, large hands resting on your arms.

“Why don’t you think it’s enough?” he asked quietly.

“It is. Gen and I were just shooting the shit,” you said, forcing your gaze up. He slid his hand down and took one of yours, pulling you over to a quiet sitting room. He sat down on a day bed, you going with him. 

“Honey. Tell me the truth.” He ran his thumb over the back of your hand as you crossed your legs. “Did I do something?”

“No. You’re perfect,” you said, glancing down to your lap. “All I was saying was...I don’t know where you stand on some things.”

“Like what?” he asked, still smiling softly, hiding all of the nerves underneath it.

“Kids. Marriage. The fact your family has never once met me or knows I exist. Am I just gonna be the nanny girlfriend or is there something more? I love you. I fucking love and I don’t need or want...I just want to know if you’re open to those things.”

“I don’t know,” he said. You nodded and moved your hand back into your lap, Jensen letting go of it. “Is that a deal breaker?”

“No,” you said with a shake of your head. “Like I said, we were shooting the shit.”

You were both quiet before you stood, Jensen grabbing your hand. He pulled you back to sit, plopping you straight down in his lap before kissing you.

“Okay I do know but the answers fucking scare me,” he said. “I said I was gonna stop being scared when it came to you.”

“Jensen, you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I would have more kids if it were with the right person. Preferably sooner than later but yes. Yes, I would marry again. Yes, I would introduce her to my family and yes they do know about her. Not as much as I’d like but they do know her. And lastly yes, I am open to more than just the nanny girlfriend, so much fucking more. All of it more. But that scares me that almost a year later here I am, open to all of those things, wanting those things with you when losing Dee hurt so much. It’s not fair to you that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be, simple and normal and just the fun parts. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking you to stop loving her. God if you ever did, I don’t think you’d be the man I love. I just wanted to know if there’s room for a future in there maybe,” you said.

“You kinda got in there all on your own and I don’t want you to ever come out,” he said. 

“Ever?” you breathed out. “Cause that implies-”

“If someone’s gonna be that second person for me, I think…” he said, looking down. You rested your forehead against his, Jensen taking a deep breath. “I know you won’t wait for me forever to get my shit together.”

“Well, forever’s a long time. I can offer a few years at least?” you asked, Jensen laughing dryly. “What?”

“I don’t deserve a few years. Your emotions aren’t a toy to play with.”

“Yours aren’t something to drag along when they’re not ready.”

“See? You do that shit. You always do that fucking shit,” he said, his voice a few octaves higher. You wrapped him up in a hug, feeling a few drops of wetness hit your cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“For crying? Jesus Jens, it’s okay,” you said. “I promise it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I keep tossing you around like you don’t have feelings too, like this isn’t hard for you too. It’s always me and my fucking problems with just…”

“Just what honey,” you said, Jensen holding onto you tightly, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?” you said, carding your fingers through his hair.

“I don’t want this to go away,” he mumbled out. “This is it and I feel like I’m gonna explode and-”

“Shush,” you said, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing his whole body as much as you could. He stilled briefly and calmed down some, sniffling to himself before you released to a gentler hold on him. “Just the anxiety talking.”

“I love you,” he said, lifting his head up, looking you straight on. “I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you and do everything with you. I’ve known those things for a very long time. Longer than you have and before you even thought of them as questions. I want all that and you’re gonna get stuck with me, with this, with the never ending baggage, with the baggage you haven’t even seen yet. All your life is gonna be is taking care of my ass and you getting hurt because of it. Is that what you want? Is it? Because I want so much fucking more for you than me.”

“Was that your proposal speech?” you asked calmly. He blinked a few times and narrowed his eyes.

“What? Y/N I-”

“Well you said you want to marry me and yeah, I fucking want to do that with you too so was that your speech?”

“What?” he asked so innocently you smiled. “I don’t…”

“I happen to like taking care of your ass. So. You want me gone, I’m gone. You want me to stay, I’m staying forever. What’s it gonna be?” you asked.

“Stay,” he said quietly with a nod. “Please don’t go away from us.”

“Okay,” you said. He leaned forward and kissed you, sniffling some more when he broke off. “Are you…”

“I can’t believe I just asked that while I’m covered in tears and snot,” he said. A box of tissues suddenly flung itself through the doorway, landing near your feet. You stared down at it and started to laugh, Jensen chuckling while you picked it up. “I’m never living that down.”

“Who gives a fuck,” you said. You took out a tissue and wiped off his face and eyes, having him blow his nose a few times. “That’s really gross.”

“I know.”

“Must be how you know it’s meant to be,” you said, wiping your hand off. 

“Stay forever?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Yeah that sounds good.”

“Me too,” he said. He pulled you into a hug and you held him tight, the door sneakily shutting on the two of you when it started to pour outside and you heard the backdoor. “I bet that’s how you imagined that going.”

“I never thought it would happen,” you said. “Not when I first came here. Love’s for other people. Normal people with normal families.”

“Fuck normal,” he said and you laughed. You picked up a clean tissue and licked it, wiping off a dried tear streak on his cheek. “I feel good.”

“We’re gonna work on that bottling shit up stuff, okay?” you said.

“Maybe you’ll have more success than Dee did,” he chuckled. 

“I’ll just have to build off what she started,” you said. He nodded and cupped your cheek as you finished cleaning him off. “There, all better.”

“Guess you’re out of a nanny job,” he said.

“Oh such a shame,” you said. “I’ve been putting my paychecks for the last while to a separate account.”

“I did notice that,” he said. “Saving for something?”

“Wanted to give it back to you.”

“Honeymoon fund instead?”

“Okay, now we’re talking,” you said with a laugh.

“You never did tell me how much your book deal got you.”

“I signed a multi-year deal. They think there’s great potential for it to be one of those series every kid reads. One million for around twenty books?”

“Fuck. You should be my agent if you can negotiate like that,” he said.

“I’m still gonna take care of them like I have been,” you said. 

“I know. It’s probably going to be a million times harder now actually,” he said. You nodded and he smiled. “You love them.”

“Yes but I don’t know how to be a parent.”

“Just do what you’ve been doing and it’ll be fine,” he said. “It’ll change but it’ll be good.”

“Not really how I was expecting today to go,” you said. 

“Me either. I had hoped for that to be a tad more romantic,” he said. You gave him a kiss and hug, Jensen returning it. “You don’t care.”

“Nah,” you said. “Just care about you. Everything else, I’m good.”

“Want to go share the news with our eavesdropper?” he asked. You helped him up to his feet and took his hand, walking out of the room, Jared and Gen suspiciously wiping down their kitchen counter. “Or should I say eavesdroppers.”

“We were concerned and I swear we left after Jared tossed the tissues in,” said Gen. Jared shook his head and pointed at her. “I swear he did it.”

“Guess you guys heard then,” said Jensen, giving you a smile. “We’re gonna give it a shot.”

“You okay?” asked Jared. Jensen nodded and squeezed your hand. “You sure?”

“I know what I want,” said Jensen. “I’ve known for a long time. Finally got over being scared is all.”

“She wasn’t gonna hurt you,” said Jared with a smile.

“I know. It was a different fear,” he said. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said. “Promise.”

“You better not, sweetheart.”

It was dark by the time the storms had passed, all three kids going down easy after spending most of the day running around the Padalecki house. You sat on the balcony off of Jensen’s bedroom in the oversized lounge chair, Jensen sat on the other side of the small side table your drink rested on.

“I’ve never been on a boat before,” you said, staring up at the dark night sky, the only light coming from a few string ones Jensen had turned on.

“Never?” asked Jensen. “Better wear your life jacket tomorrow then.”

“You better wear your life jacket,” you said. “We both know I’m a better swimmer than you.”

“You’re a better swimmer than me? Me?” he chuckled. “No way.”

“Put your money where your mouth is. Five bucks says I’m a better swimmer,” you said. He waved the way towards the door and you stood up, walking downstairs and outside.

“Uh, you missing something?” he chuckled. You smirked and pulled off your shirt and undid your jeans, shimming out of them and leaving them by the patio. “You really think…” 

“I really think what?” you said, tossing your bra at him, leaving your underwear behind. You jumped in and swam out to the deep end. “You’re already losing Jensen.”

“Losing my ass,” he said, taking off his shirt and jeans, nearly tripping as he hopped out of his boxer briefs. He jumped in nearby and swam over to you, dunking his head under briefly. “I could get used to this look.”

“Nothing you’ve not seen before.”

“Never seen my fiance naked before,” he grinned. You rolled your eyes but swam over and gave him a kiss. “I knew you had a thing for dorks you know.”

“Did you now?”

“Told me yourself. Not a fan of cocky guys I recall.”

“Well...a little cock is okay. Highly recommended in fact,” you said. 

“You are such a loser,” he laughed.

“I must have learned it from you.” You giggled and swam back to the shallow end, Jensen lazily chasing after. “I’ve never skinny dipped until just now actually.”

“Got anything on your bucket list you want to try out?” he asked. You shrugged and took a seat on a step, Jensen settling in next to you. “Naked trounce on the trampoline?”

“Maybe another time,” you said. You leaned back and looked up at the dark sky once more. He reached over and held your hand in the water, playing with it quietly. “Skydiving would be cool. Space would be cool.”

“One of those is a lot more feasible than the other. I noticed up in Canada where we had more stars at night you really like looking at them.”

“Did it a lot as a kid. Kinda always have,” you said. “I like space as much as the next gal but it’s just pretty, you know? You’re one little speck out in all of those stars. It’s all so freaking complex but you can kinda look up at them and it’s just so simple too.”

“Yeah,” he said, toying with a strand of hair floating in the water. “I get that.”

You turned and found him staring at you, a smile on his lips. 

“We could go camping sometime, see all the stars there are up there if you’d like,” he said.

“We don’t have to do that,” you said. 

“Why?” he asked quietly. “I’m curious is all. It seems like something you’d really enjoy seeing.”

“What purpose does it serve though? It’s not something fun for the kids to experience,” you said. “It’s a waste of money.”

“It doesn’t have to have a purpose. It’s for you, for us. A night away where you get to see something most people don’t ever get a chance. That’s the only purpose,” he said. “Camping’s about the cheapest thing you can do. Don’t worry about the money. You don’t have to worry about that ever again.”

“I just don’t want to go camping,” you said. You looked down and swallowed. “I used to go camping with my dad a lot.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do that to me,” you said. “I just...I don’t think I ever want to go again.”

“Okay. Would you go camping with me sometime?” he asked. 

“Jensen-”

“Just me. No body else. I won’t even touch you except to cuddle,” he said. You nodded and he smiled. “Thank you. It won’t be scary this time. I promise.”

“Is your dad nice?” you asked. He leaned back against his elbows and nodded. “Does he know about me?”

“My parents know I have a girlfriend. My mom knows I was getting pretty serious about you,” he said. 

“Do they know I was the nanny? Or how old I am?”

“No. My siblings do but not my parents,” he said. You sat up and wrapped your arms around yourself in the warm night air. “I’m not embarrassed of you Y/N. I think that’s a conversation better had in person is all.”

“You haven’t told them because you think they’ll have a problem with it,” you said. 

“Not as much problem as when I say I’m not having a prenup,” he said. You turned your head and saw him smiling back. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t trust you completely.”

“Jensen I don’t want to cause a problem,” you said. He shook his head and you sighed. “I know how close you are with them and you haven’t gotten to see them since Christmas. I know exactly what they’re gonna think of me when they hear about the former nanny.”

“You don’t seem to understand yet that you? Nobody is more important than you and those three in there. If they can’t accept you then screw ‘em.”

“Jensen.”

“I’m not worried and you know why? I love you and you love me. I know they love me a whole lot too so you’re on the same side.”

“You’re a bad liar,” you said. He sat up and sighed. “Jens-”

“I don’t know how they’ll act. But you deserve a chance and that’s what I expect out of them. I want them to love you too but at a minimum you’ll have their respect.”

You nodded and sunk down in the warm water, Jensen sliding over and taking a seat on your lap, tossing his arms around your shoulders. 

“You still talk to Dee’s parents right?” you asked. He nodded and wrapped his legs loosely around your waist. “Do they…”

“No,” he said quietly. “They deserve for that to be an in person conversation too. They’re coming up soon for JJ’s birthday soon. I figured I’d tell them then.”

“I’m glad you still talk to them,” you said. “They still see you guys.”

“Christmas was hard last year. I’m not sure which one of us got it worse,” he said. 

“I’d like to meet them if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I’m not sure how they’ll react honestly.”

“I’d still like to,” you said, stepping out into the water with him, Jensen hanging off of you. “If only you were this light normally I’d carry you around all day.”

“Didn’t we agree a long time ago you were the badass princess after all,” he said, bumping his nose against yours. 

“Here I thought you’d be taller,” you teased, quickly kissing him.

“Little shit,” he grinned. He nuzzled your cheek and you let out a deep breath. “Don’t worry about them.”

“At least we don’t have to go through this on my side,” you said.

“Can I ask one thing of you?”

“What?”

“Ray, your mom’s boyfriend, did things end badly between the two of you or you just drift apart? You said you left when you finished high school.”

“I stopped talking to him awhile ago. I moved out at 18 when I got my first nanny job. He was dating his wife Sarah by then. I’d come over for dinner every few months for a few years. By the time I was twenty one they were married with two kids. I didn’t go one time and kept putting it off and Ray told me it was okay if I didn’t want to see him anymore. I could call him if I ever needed him, that sort of thing. I haven’t spoken to him in nine years. But that’s not asking something of me, is it.”

“Can we consider inviting him to the wedding?”

“Been engaged eight hours and already planning?” you asked. 

“I don’t know him but he had a part in raising you. Just consider it is all I ask. And wedding? Those things take fucking forever to plan, trust me.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said, spinning him around in the water. “Are they really that complicated to put together?”

“Nah. Don’t go bridezilla on me is all,” he said. 

“Total diva over here,” you said, feeling the edge of the shallow end start to drop off with your foot. You spun around one more time before you had to set him down, Jensen taking the chance to pick you up and toss you out of of the water. “Jensen! I’m naked!”

“I know. It’s awesome,” he said, swimming out and kissing your cheek. “Wanna race?”

“Winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser when we head upstairs?” you grinned.

“Oh, you’re so on.”

______

A/N: Read Part 10 here!

#spnkinkbingo #supernatural #spn #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #rpf #jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

[septenstell-third]

Confrontation

Mean!Maedhros x Human!Fem!Reader

Warning(s): slight angst, so much pining omg, Maedhros is a jerk here, depressed Maglor lmao, plus I used enemies to lovers trope… and I get a lil bit carried away

Synopsis: You are a human in Himring, saved by the guards from an orc ambush—leaving you the only one staying as your group continue their journey. Upon knowing that Maedhros was the one who saved you, you want to thank him for what he’s done.

Sadly, it doesn’t turn out pretty well as you expect it to be.

A/N: The reader is a close friend of Maglor because- well, as you can see, they radiate gen z energy so much and I refuse to believe that these two aren’t depressed lol. Anyways, the reader is at the age of 25 and I made Maedhros a bit of a prick… and I apologize for my English pls + not beta’d

Read this on AO3!

Words: 2189

“I am afraid I cannot help you with it,” Maglor spoke firmly.

You groaned, “why though? You’re his brother, are you not?” You didn’t care that you were being friend with one of the Fëanorians. Their reputation was bad, horrible even, but those were in the past. As long as they didn’t do it right now, it wasn’t your problem. You had no rights to judge them for it, you weren’t there when they did the kinslayings.

“Yes, but that does not matter. You have to do it yourself,” the harp-player insisted. His expression didn’t say that he was interested, but you knew him like you two were siblings. Pretty surprisingly, he opened up to you not long after you interacted with him—not about the kinslayings, of course—and you both became close very quick. Maedhros was shocked that Maglor could make a human friend when the singer couldn’t even make an elf talking to him.

Sighing, you casted a glance far to the north, there the everlasting darkness took place—making it the most feared area anyone could ever lay their feet upon. You didn’t want to think much about it, let it be; when it comes the time of your death, you shall accept it with great pride. And as your eyes wandered there, Maglor caught the glimpse of sadness of that in your face.

“Do you really want to thank him? It has been five months,” He asked for the fifth time of the day. He couldn’t understand your dire need to show your gratitude towards his brother; after all, they had saved many people. And killed much, too. “Why the rushed timing?” He continued.

“It’s not rushed, Kano, I’ve been waiting to do this since you told me that he was the one who saved me. Nobody ever did that for me and it’s just… I don’t know. I have to thank him, but I need your help for that,” you cleared your throat, thinking that you showed Maglor your feelings for his brother. To admit, yes you did have a crush on Maedhros, but it was very little.

Maglor raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Ah, so you like him, then?”

“That’s- that’s not what I said!” You felt heat in your cheeks.

“Lovely. I think it would be great if you become my sister-in-law, is it not? What a time to be alive,” he teased, and you wanted nothing more than to smack his face. Weird. He had never been annoying like this, no- he had never developed this personality. Where had he been?

“Stop twisting my words, Kano! Eru, what happened to you?” Even though you were annoyed, you kept a playful tone. He was still higher than you, you remembered, with you being a human.

This time, he looked grim. “I lost my brother is all.”

You didn’t know the context, but you dared not to speak. And as you two fell in silence, you could feel a stare behind your back. Perhaps Maglor felt it too, for the two of you turned around in sync to see who or what it was. There was nothing, nobody.

He gazed dead at you in the eyes. “What was that?”

Shrugging, suddenly the air surrounding you felt cold. “I don’t know.”

;

“So, are you in or not?” You asked, despite knowing Maglor’s answer. You just wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t interfere with your plans, although he of course wouldn’t—he wasn’t the person that would throw pranks at you—but you needed to know that he would stay still.

Maglor sighed, his long legs making him seemed to walk more than one meter each step, and you hated the way your short legs carried you. He was tall, and you couldn’t imagine how taller his brother was. Yes, you’ve met Maedhros several times, but not those that were pretty close. You always saw him from afar, it was best to stay like that; nevertheless, you had to break it because your inner proper manners insisted on thanking him.

“You know my answer,” Maglor said, turning to his left. You were following him because both of you had the same direction; Maedhros’ office. Maglor’s purpose was to say whatever news he had, and your purpose was clear—but you had no idea how would you do it.

Upon reaching the place, you stopped; leaving Maglor confused. You stared at him, trying to capture the helpless expression to catch his attention. “Please? Help me, Kano?” You pleaded.

He appeared to be unreadable, you couldn’t even know how he managed to keep the straight face. At last, he dropped his mask, and sighing: “alright, little human, but just this one time. Okay?” He pointed his hand to you, honestly, it looked cute when he was doing that.

You held the urge to jump in the air and shouting yes, so instead you hugged him. You didn’t know if it was appropriate or not, you didn’t care, Maglor was your friend and he would always be. This is only time you’ve had a friend, a really-close friend at that, more so an elf friend.

“M’kay captain!” You let go of your hug as you felt Maglor tensed, perhaps because he was a dumbass awkward at social interaction; and so were you. “So, let’s do this?” You grinned.

He zoned out for a moment before blinking his eyes back and forth. “Oh, yea, okay.”

;

You regretted the decision. When you and Maglor first stepped in his brother’s office, all of a sudden, the redhead just went straight to the harp-player—and punched him in the face. You didn’t know what happened, but you weren’t going to sit still as they fight; no, more like Maedhros knocked the life out of his brother while Maglor accepted it.

It was going to be tough; you knew it, you weren’t supposed to bother them. You would be annoying and Maedhros would kick you from Himring, but Maglor was right there—Maglor was right there! You couldn’t just let him like that, he was your friend! The one you’ve had when you were desperate, the one who cheer you up when you were sad, even if it was like five months friendship!

Thus, you ran to Maedhros to stop him from beating his brother to death. “Lord Maedhros, stop! It’s your brother!” You shouted, eventually made the redhead did, but frowning at you.

“Why are you here?” He asked, ending it with your name. He stood up, casually opening a bottle of wine after almost killed his own brother—and then poured the wine to a glass, drinking it.

Perplexed, you asked back as you helped Maglor to sit. “Wha-? How do you know my name?”

Maedhros laughed. “Maglor told me a lot about you.”

You turned your head to the said person, he was grinning weakly at you, his nose bleeding. “Kano? Care to explain? I thought we agreed of not telling anything about myself to anyone?” You didn’t feel betrayed, no, you didn’t—it was just that, why would Maglor break the promise? Not like you two’s relationship was private, everyone could see that both of you were friends; it was that they agreed on a deal that they wouldn’t tell a single person about what were they like.

Maglor stayed silent, while it was his brother who was the one to say. “Kano? What a nickname you have. How close are you two, actually?” He jerked, continuing on teasing you.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you didn’t know that he was such a prick. “I- what is going on?”

Maedhros sipped his wine, saying, “nothing. Maglor made a mistake is all.” They truly are brothers.

“And do you think he deserved to be punished like this even if he’s making a mistake? You’re his brother!” You decided to step out of line a little bit. “Siblings don’t punch each other.”

The redhead simply smirked. “What if your brother stole your money from you?”

So all of this fight was for money? You couldn’t believe that the ‘noble’ Lord Maedhros would care about it. “Well, I’d forgive him! He’s still my brother, after all, and the money could be returned. You know what’s not?” Standing up, you almost backed down because of the height difference you and Maedhros had—but you didn’t, and spoke. “Memory. The memories.”

Maedhros burst out laughing, “what does a human of short age know about memories?” He scowled, putting his glass who was empty to the table he sat on. Even when he was sitting, he was still far taller than you were—let alone when he straightened up his posture. “You are not one who participated in Nirnaeth Arnoediad, a silly little human maiden, you do not know anything about memory—the feelings of regret when you could not save everyone and you have to remember it all over again, every night, every day and you can not forget all of them because you are an elf! Do you think it is a gift that we have this sharp-memory thing? No, it is not!” He snapped.

He has a point though, you admitted in your mind. “If I were an elf, I would not regret every single thing I’ve done in my life. Because I do good things, not like you, and even—even if I couldn’t save everyone, I know it wasn’t my fault because it’s not my job to make sure that everyone is safe—of course it’s different when you’ve killed people.” You smiled triumphantly.

The glint in Maedhros’ eyes were terrifying. “Be careful with your words there, human.”

“I have a name!” You shouted.

He moved so fast you blinked and then he was in front of you the very right minute. Towering over you that couldn’t even reach his shoulder. “You do not deserve the name if you disrespect me,” he hissed, glancing at Maglor who was sitting near you, dripping blood—before glaring at you again. “How could you, kin of men, capture the heart of my brother?” His tone mocking.

Instead of confused, you simply laughed. “Perhaps men aren’t weak after all,” you said. “You know what, Lord Maedhros?” You chose to challenge him, at last; while he kept his expressionless appearance. “At first I wanted to thank you for saving my life back the day, but seeing that you’re like this—” You pointed your hand at his chest, your neck hurt from looking up too much to see his face: “I don’t think you deserve any gratitude for being such a prick.”

Maedhros exhaled sharply, clenching his jaw so hard you could feel fear within your eyes. “Human, I forgot that they do not have manners. Apparently, it is a great decision I made back then, that I chose not to save your friend. What has his name again? Ah, Bortheol, is it not? Such a shame he had to die, he was a gentleman nevertheless, putting you first before himself.”

You tensed. Bortheol was your… lover. When the orc ambush came, he defended the group—including you. You indeed knew how to fight, but not as good as he did. What was he saying? Rushing, you pushed Maedhros as strong as you could, “what are you talking about?!” Tears pricking down your cheeks, “you know nothing about him! How dare you to say such things!”

Expectedly, the redhead pushed you back, immediately took control of the two of you. “Bortheol could be saved, but it was common that humans always act foolish. He told me to save you instead—although I am sure that you could be no use of advantage here.” He sneered.

“You could’ve had brought him too!” You didn’t care about the last sentence, you could only focus on the first and second.

“Again, what use could a human be with no strength? Even if we could heal him, he would not be capable of walking—thus, he could not fight. And in these darker days, we need warriors, soldiers; not a disabled man.” His gaze on you was piercing, harsh eyes staring at yours.

You snorted, couldn’t believe that he was making fun of himself. “Look at yourself, my lord.”

“Are you, by any means, trying to annoy me?” Maedhros retorted.

“No, my lord, I’m just stating the facts that are there.” You uttered. “Besides, sure, if Bortheol couldn’t be saved, but at least let me die with him. Because I would rather die than be saved by someone like you.” It was with courage that you could say that to the first son of Fëanor.

You crouched down to help Maglor stood, walking out of the room without looking at Maedhros.

“What do you mean by someone like me?” The redhead asked.

Stopping your walk, you sighed. “A mass murderer, I suppose.”

“Maglor is one, too.” He scoffed.

“And? I don’t care. At least he isn’t a jerk like his brother is.” You muttered before moving again, now completely out of Maedhros’ eyesight.

If he wasn’t being such a prick, you’d thank him for what he had done.

#maedhros x reader #maglor #maedhros #the silmarillion

[crashdevlin]

Another Second Chance 17- Everything Changes

Another Second Chance Masterlist, Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist

Author’s Note: The final (hopefully) installment of the Happily Ever Eventually RPF series.

Summary: Y/n and Danneel talk which forces Y/n to share a bit of truth with Nova.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word count: 2934

Story Warnings: past cheating, Nova is not nice to Danneel, Nova is a very protective daughter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danneel looks a little shocked. Not like she’s shocked to see me, but maybe that she’s shocked that I didn’t run away and hide. She shakes herself out of it and smiles back at me. “Hey, sweetie. I guess we had to run into each other eventually, didn’t we?”

I nod and look back toward the dressing rooms. “Yeah. Austin’s big, but not that big.” I feel a bit uncomfortable as I gesture at the dresses. “I’m getting Nova some nice stuff for the Out Youth Gala.”

“Oh, yeah.” She nods and fiddles with her purse strap. Seems she’s just as uncomfortable. “Jensen mentioned he was taking her. I told him I’d stay home for this one.”

"You don't have to sit it out. You could still-"

"It'd be pretty tense. Jensen and I haven't been able to be around each other for more than a few minutes at a time in...well, in years.” Well, that’s a confirmation of Jensen’s words that I never thought I’d get. “Besides...a young bi girl, she deserves to rub elbows with those people. I’ve already met most of them.”

“Thanks for...giving it up this year.” I want to rub the back of my neck. I want to hug myself. I want to tug on my hair a bit. I’m tense and I don’t like feeling like this. I don’t, though. I keep my smile and I stay polite. I learned this a long time ago.

“Of course, sweetie.” God, that makes me cringe.

“Can you…” How do I say this without sounding rude? “Not call me that?”

She nods, understanding immediately. “Sorry. Default. I…” She runs her fingers through her hair and lets out a soft scoff. “I’m not really good at this. I should have just walked back out when I saw you.”

“No, no, that’s…” I sigh. “This is awkward. For both of us. Last time we talked, I was so angry and sad and-”

“And now you’ve got Jensen back and everything is coming up for you.”

That hits a little bitter.

“Danneel...I…” I scoff and shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest.  “The fact that I’m with Jensen again has nothing to do with the upward mobility of my existence...and, you know, I’m sorry that you and Jay didn’t work out, but I stepped out after you got caught together. You had five years to get him back and make things work.”

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." She shakes her head. "No, well, I guess a little. I just always thought one day he'd stop pining over you and come home." Guess she's still in love. Jensen just isn't a man who's easy to get over, is he? "Guess that was wishful thinking."

"I tried, Dee. I told him...I told you. I stepped back at every opportunity so that I wouldn't ever be in the way of your love."

"I know. From the very beginning, you tried to stay out of the way but we didn't really want that."

I roll my eyes. "You both wanted to have your cake and eat it but that's not how the world works." Not my world, anyway. "That Happy Family Fantasy? I talked myself into that. I tried to be what would have made you and Jensen happiest, but I couldn't do it. Trying hurt me. That single night that ruined everything…and when I realized that it wouldn't ever work with me and him and you, I stepped away, just like I stepped away when I realized my involvement with him was harming your marriage. I did everything I could to make sure you didn't lose him and-"

"What do you think of this one, Mum?" Nova's voice stops me and I turn toward the dressing room. She looks gorgeous...and angry. "What's she doing here?"

"It's a free country, Nova. She can shop where she likes." I clear my throat, try to get the bitterness out of my voice. "Genevieve is the one who introduced me to this shop. I assume that she-"

"I expected Gen to have better taste in friends."

"Not the time for the attitude," I snap at her.

"I don't have an attitude." She crosses her arms over her chest.

"Yes, you do and you need to stop."

"I just don't understand why you're standing there, talking to the woman who ruined your relationship with Jensen last time. You can't just-"

"It's more complicated than all that, sweetie." Don't talk, Danneel. She's already about to go into fight mode.

"It's not," Nova practically growls. "It's not complicated. He was dating my mother and you were caught shoving your tongue down his throat. That's crappy but it's not complicated!"

"Nova. Stop!" Mom Voice better work. I don’t want anything to show up on TMZ about a fight between my daughter and Danneel in the middle of a damn dress shop.

"No!" She did not just stomp her foot and-  "What, you think that just because you let Jensen fuck around with her while you were married to him that she has to be okay with him fucking around with you?"

My eyes go wide as she leans forward, trying to intimidate Dee. My heart starts pounding and I step between them, look up into my daughter's eyes. "Go get your clothes back on. Right fucking now."

"But, Mum!"

"I don't know who you think you are right now, little girl, but I am your mother and you're going to listen. Go. Get. Changed."

She stomps as she heads back to the dressing room. My heart is still going a mile a minute as I turn back to Danneel. "I'm...sorry about her. She...thinks she knows things and she...does know some things and she's protective and…" I scratch at my brow. "She doesn't want to see me break again."

"None of us do, swee-...Y/n. She's not wrong to be upset at me. Jensen's still upset at me about it."

I shake my head. "No, he's not. Did he never explain to you…" He really doesn't talk to her anymore. "It's not that he's mad at you, Danneel. He couldn’t come back because he had to change. He had to stop being the man that would ruin his life over selfish desires. You were...you were a constant reminder of what that old man had done. He couldn’t come back...not on his own, anyway." I don't know why that last thought escapes but it does.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Did you try to get him back?" I don't know why I'm asking this. Why do I care? "You asked me five years ago if Jensen wasn't worth fighting for. Did you fight for him? Or did you just sit at home, hoping he'd crawl back to you eventually? Did you fight?"

Because if she fought, if she tried, and he didn’t come back, that means he's really done with her. He really became a different man and he doesn't need or want her. He became a different man who just wants me.

"Are we leaving?" Nova asks as she hooks the hangers on the closest rack and approaches with her arms still crossed over her chest.

"Yeah. Grab the blue dress you tried on, take it to the register." She rolls her eyes and grabs the dress, walking toward the till.

"It was nice talking to you, Danneel." I start walking away to go pay for No's dress, but Danneel's voice stops me.

"I did fight. I tried. He wouldn't hear it." I look at her over my shoulder. "He was too caught up in the liquor and the loss." She tucks her hair behind her ear and gives a sad smile. "I fought for him. I lost him anyway."

I hate to acknowledge the elation I'm feeling, but it's there. He’s really mine. He's really mine and I won’t have to worry about her stealing his heart.

"I'm sorry, Danneel." It's all I can think to say. I know that losing Jensen couldn't have been easy. I walked away and it wasn't easy to lose him.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I never should have-"

"Things were complicated. They're less complicated now."

She nods. "For you."

Shit, I can't feel guilty about this. "Yes. Things are less complicated for me. I hope things get better for you." I head for the register and I pay for Nova's dress. Danneel is gone from the shop by the time we turn around to leave.

"Mum, I'm sorry, I-" Nova starts as we walk toward the car.

"Shut up."

She scoffs angrily. "That’s so rude!"

"Get in the car," I demand, tossing her dress in the back.

"Mum! I said I was-"

"And I said 'Shut up'." I drop into the driver's seat and wait for her to get in and shut her door. "First off, how fucking dare you say any words out of my mouth are rude with the way you spoke to Danneel in there? How dare you try to lecture your mother on how to speak to you when you obviously don't know how to speak to a woman who you probably don’t remember meeting and who did absolutely nothing to harm you.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but I keep talking. “I am fucking mortified that you would talk to her like that. You don’t know her. You met her once when we brought your little brother home from Vegas and you have no right to talk to her like that. She might not deserve your fucking respect, but I am not raising a disrespectful little brat. You can have your opinions and you can even voice them but you have no right to make her feel like shit about something that she’s been hammered about and called a homewrecker about for five fucking years. You wanna be a feminist, you wanna lift women up? You don’t fucking attack them for a mistake she made in the past. She fucked up and hurt me but you don’t even know the extent of it, because you are my daughter. You are not my manager, my bodyguard, or my fucking knight in armor, Nova. You are my daughter and I love you for trying to protect me, but I had that interaction handled and I didn’t need you flying off the handle at her. You weren’t even that bad with Jensen and he did worse than she did!”

She’s got tears in her eyes...and I feel bad for hurting her feelings, but...I’m right. She went too far.

“And while this is not something I ever thought I’d be talking to you about, you seem to think you know something about something so I’ll tell you that it doesn’t matter that Danneel and Jensen had an open marriage because that wasn’t what muddled everything up at the end and made them so bold as to be fucking around with each other while I was in Vancouver.”

“What? You--did something...happen before that?”

Again, not a conversation I thought I would be having with her...definitely not a conversation I’m going to have with her when she’s in trouble. “Doesn’t matter right now. What matters right now is that you’re fuckin’ grounded until the Gala. No electronics.”

“What?!” she exclaims indignantly.

“Yeah and if you don’t take your punishment gracefully, I’ll extend it past the Gala, too. You’ll get one night and then you’ll be grounded again. You want that?”

“No,” she grumbles. Me either, No. I hate being the bad guy...but I’ve always been better at it than Nate.

"When we get home, I want you to gather up your laptop, game consoles, and the cable box for your TV and put them in the garage. You can read a few books for entertainment."

"Okay." She sounds so dejected but...it’s what I have to do to get the point across.

"Good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ll talk to Dee,” Jensen volunteers. “I’m sure she’s not-”

I shake my head. “I just can’t believe Nova went so vicious...and I think I’m going to have to tell her what happened back then.”

“You don’t have to. She doesn’t have to know.”

“She doesn’t have to know. But...she knows enough to be judgmental and-” What if she judges me afterward? What if she judges me for pressuring myself? What if she decides that I was in the wrong? What if she thinks it wasn’t cheating because we had a three-way, even though they both knew I didn’t want them together without me? “It’s better if I’m honest with her. If she decides to hold the threesome against me, then that’s...well, that’s her prerogative, but I think it’s better for everyone if she knows the truth.”

“You want me there?” he offers and I bite my bottom lip. I’d love to have the support, but…

“No. I think it’d be a better conversation for just me and her. She’s still kinda defensive around you.”

“Okay. Let me know how it goes, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. Tell Dee I’m sorry.”

“I will. I love you, Baby Girl.”

“Love you, too, Jay.”

I hang up the phone and head for the kitchen. I make a cup of coffee and sit at the table to drink it. I start running through ways this conversation can go, pieces of dialogue in a story. The conversations never really go like they do in my head. But I rehearse them anyway.

I finish my coffee and head up the stairs to her room. I knock. She groans and calls me to come in. I walk in and sit on the edge of her bed. She’s slouching in the bean bag chair in the corner, a book in her grasp. “When I got together with Jensen the first time, he was still married. I know you know that.” I look up at her ceiling. “Danneel agreed to an open marriage...but Jensen fucked it up. He fell in love with me. So, I left. I started dating Tom.” She makes a disgusted sound, but I keep talking. “You know this. Whatever post or article you read, you know this, but you don’t know that I started hanging with Danneel after Tom tried to rape me. We got drunk and I kissed her.”

Nova’s eyes go wide. “I was shocked when I did it, too...and I immediately told Jay. I felt so guilty and confused and...as soon as I told him, he decided that I needed to sleep with her.” I lick my lips. “He was a bit selfish back then. Pretty much very selfish back then...and he wanted both of us again. He admitted to it...that he pushed for me and her to sleep together. I couldn’t...but he really wanted it, us together...so Danneel and I came up with an idea...all three of us together.”

“You slept with both of them?” she asked, her voice a bit squeaky and very judgemental.

“Just once. I woke up the morning after and I couldn’t...I couldn’t deal. I felt dirty. I’d pressured myself into doing something just for Jay and Dee and it was bad. It was bad for me. Dr. McCauliffe told me that I should tell them how it made me feel, but I couldn’t. Disappointing them was something I couldn't do. I probably would have convinced myself to do it again eventually...and it would have broken me even further. I would have let it happen because I didn’t care about my mental health. I cared about them."

I'm afraid to look at her. Is she judging me? Is she disgusted?

"They both knew I didn’t want them touching each other. Not without me. But they both knew that I was unlikely to let it happen again...that I was having trouble with the first time and it was going to be an issue to do it again. That's why they...did what they did. They didn't think they'd get caught. They didn't think it would destroy me if they did."

"That’s worse!" she exclaims and I look over at her. She looks livid. "They knew you were falling apart!"

I rub at the back of my neck and nod. "Yeah, but they really wanted-"

"What you wanted didn’t matter? What you deserved? I can't believe them!"

"There’s a reason I had to end it all, why I had to get five years of distance. There's a reason why Jensen had to become a whole new man." I lick my lips and sigh. "They both betrayed me, Nova. They hurt me and it's taken five years to get us all okay and that's why I can't abide the way you talked to Danneel, because she lost everything too. She was selfish and horrible and she lost everything over it. She doesn't need a teenage girl giving her all this attitude over it."

She looks away and scratches at the back of her hand. "She deserved it."

"You don't get to make that determination." I lean forward and take her hand in mine. "I know that my mental break and breakup hurt you, No, but I'm the one they betrayed. I'm the one they broke...and I've decided to forgive."

"But-"

"But nothing. They've changed. I've changed. Things are better. Do you understand?"

She looks down and sighs. "I understand."

I pat her hand and stand. "You're still in trouble. But I love you, Nova."

"I love you, too."

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

#cassie writes stuff #spn rpf #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #reader-insert

[make-me-imagine]

Red Roses: “I Love You” - Wanda Maximoff Ending

Valentines Special: Day Nine

Day One: Morning Glories  //  Day Two: Blue Salvias Day Three: Sunflowers  //  Day Four: Pink Camellias Day Five: Yellow Tulips   // Day Six: Violets Day Seven: Lisianthus  //  Day Eight: Daffodils (Post with rest of the character endings)

Plot: It’s finally Valentines Day, the day the reader will finally learn who it is that had been leaving them flowers and notes expressing their secret feelings.

Pairing: Gen!Neutral Reader x Wanda Maximoff

Triggers: None        Words: 1,503

Requested Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney​, @thebookbakery​, @fablesrose​, @kitkatd7​, @thefallenbibliophilequote​, @beksib​, @destynelseclipsa​, @criminaly-supernatural​, @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet, @belloangelus​, @snarky--starky​, @saintbootlegloras​, @wecallhimbrowneyess​, @empath-bunny​, @okkulta​, @katinthemoon,  @ravennight41​, @youcancallme-rae , @radhumandragonclam, @unfortunateidiotinadilemma, @past3l-w1ngs ,  @goinggoinggonzo, @mxxnmocha,  @theofficialzivadavid​,  @lilix1989, @normanijauregui, @euphouriaszn2, @slut-for-nat , @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all (still couldn’t tag, sorry) , @supersourlemon13, @messhup

February 14th

You woke up late in the morning, having had a restless nights sleep most of the night. As you groggily opened up your eyes and stretched, you turned to look at your clock, seeing it was nearly 11am. You sighed before grabbing your phone, seeing a missed text from Steve a few hours prior asking if you wanted to go for a run with him and Bucky. Replying with an apology and that you slept in, you rolled back over, your eyes landing on the daffodils on the table. 

Remembering that you had woken up lying at the end of your bed before crawling back in, you reached over on your desk and grabbed the note you had set their last night. You read over it again before “New beginnings” you mumble to yourself before sighing and sitting up.

Eventually, you had gotten out of bed, brushed your teeth and got dressed before wondering out of your room, planning on going on a walk. You just wanted to get out of the tower honestly. You needed to think things over again. 

You managed to leave the tower without running into any of the others before you began wandering towards a nearby park, headphones in and favorite music playing. You began to think of the possibilities again. Over the last week, you found yourself watching the others more closely. The way Natasha and Bruce had been acting around each other, you figured it was neither of them leaving you the notes. And you doubted it was Tony or Clint, and it certainly wasn’t Loki. 

So that leaves Steve, Bucky, Vision, Thor and Wanda. Steve and Bucky had always been kind to you, you were definitely close to both of them. The more you thought about them, the less you could see yourself in a relationship with them. And Vision was nearly impossible to figure out entirely.

And then there was Wanda. Ever since you met her and Pietro in your fight against Ultron, you had a bond. She felt comfortable around you, and you had never been afraid of her. You made sure she knew she wasn’t alone, and helped her mourn her brother. You spent a lot of your time together, and you had recently become more confused about your feelings towards her.

You liked her much more than you did anyone else. If you were a teenager, you’d call it a crush. But could she ever feel the same for you? Just like Vision, she was good at hiding her emotions. And you were, you think, very good at hiding how you felt. And you trusted her to never use her abilities on you without your permission anyways, she had made a promise to you as well, though you did not ask her too. It was her own way of expressing you could trust her. 

Sitting down on a bench and staring out at the park, and the people wandering around, you thought more about Wanda and the way she was around you. Thinking of all the small interactions, some of which could be seen as a bit more intimate than others. You began to feel a small sense of hope towards who would admit their feelings to you tonight. 

- - -

You had spent most of your day wandering around the city before heading back to the tower a few hours before the party would begin. You had been avoiding talking to the others, rarely texting them throughout the day. So when you arrived back at the tower, you were not really surprised when Natasha and Clint found you before you made it all the way to your room. 

“Is something up? You don’t usually avoid us this much.” Natasha began as you were stopped in the hallway before the elevator. 

You sighed as you leaned against the wall “I’ve just been preoccupied, I’m fine I promise.” 

“This is about the flowers isn’t it?” Clint asked.

You nodded and Natasha smiled apologetically “Y/n, you really don’t need to be so concerned, I’m sure that if you really can’t see yourself being with whoever it is, they’ll understand. We are all way to close to hold that type of grudge, or let something like this stand between us.” 

“You haven’t read the notes Nat. There’s much more at stake than you understand. But, I do hope you’re right.” you said with a sense of unease. 

After they tried to console you a bit more, you left to go back to your room. Taking a long shower, and slowly getting ready, you sat around distracting yourself before the party. You had gone back and forth in your mind, part of you trying to convince yourself to not go down at all. Maybe they would come find you if they really wanted. But eventually deciding against this, you convinced yourself to go up to the party. 

The party was crowded and loud, made up of a cacophony of laughter, conversation, and music. You spent a while hanging out with Natasha, Clint, Bruce and Wanda before you snuck off when you all joined the others and groups of guests. 

You thought you had not been noticed, when you found a quiet separate room, closed off from guests. You had begun to feel a bit overwhelmed and needed to take a breather away from everyone. Staring out of the large window out at the bright city, as you began to relax.

Hearing the door creak open, you looked over to see Wanda peak her head in. Her eyes meeting yours as she gave you a cautious smile “Are you alright? I saw you sneak off.”

You smiled politely at her, with little emotion “I’m okay, just started to feel a bit overwhelmed.” 

“So, is this a bad time?” 

“For what?” you asked with a questioning face. 

Stepping fully into the room, she lifted up a small bouquet of red roses “To give you these?” she asked cautiously, cocking her head sideways slightly as she watched you. 

Your eyes whipped back and fourth from the roses to Wanda before you found your voice again “Uh, wh- did...uh, did someone give you those to give to me...Or..?” 

She smiled as she began walking towards you “No one gave them to me.”

You met her eyes “Then...you?” 

She nodded her head once “Yes. Me.” she smiled. Walking the rest of the way up to you she handed you the flowers, which you took cautiously as you looked between them and Wanda.  

“I....” you chuckled at your own speechlessness “I just...really thought that you uh, I mean, I thought I was the only one...”

Her smile widened at your stuttering admission before she reached out and placed her hands over yours sending a sense of ease over you. “I didn’t really mean too. But, a few weeks ago, I was feeling, overwhelmed myself, about how I found my feelings changing for you. And one day, when we were together, I couldn’t help but...search a bit, just to see.” she looked at you with guilt on her face “I’m sorry, I know I promised I wouldn’t-”

“It’s alright Wanda” you cut her off, assuring her “That actually makes it a lot easier” you chuckled, which made her smile with relief and amusement. “So, that whole, scavenger hunt you joked about a while ago, to find who was leaving the flowers was just a ploy to distract me from thinking it was you?”

She cocked her head to the side with a smile “Maybe.”

You realized that this now made sense, that day when you found no one in the hallway when you heard them, she had used her magic. “Did anybody else know?” you asked curiously. 

She shook her head “I mean, both Tony and Steve knew about how I felt about you, so maybe they figured it was me. But I never told anyone. But I did hear Bucky mentioning something to Steve about you..pressing the flowers?” her smile widened “Did you really?” 

You felt heat rise up the back of you neck as you smiled “Maybe.” 

She laughed before she took another step closer, pressing her forehead against yours as she stared into your eyes, “I’m very glad that you liked the flowers so much, and I hope you are alright with the things that I said.” 

“I’m more than alright with them Wanda. I loved them. And I...” you hesitated, wondering if you should say what you were truly feeling. But maybe it was too soon? Though, the roses. They were the first flowers you had received that you already knew the meaning of. So, was this Wanda’s own way of confessing...of telling you?

“I know.” she said “Me too.” she replied, answering your unspoken question.

You smiled widely at each other before leaning in together and meeting in a kiss. A feeling of ease and happiness ran through you as your mind was silenced. There was no more anxiety or busy thoughts, just peace, acceptance, and happiness. 

xx xx xx xx xx

This is the last ending being posted for this event. So I hope you all liked them!!

If you did like this, please consider reblogging it, and maybe check out the other endings as well!~

#valentines special #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #wanda maximoff x reader #scarlet witch x reader #avengers #marvel #valentines special ending #wanda maximoff ending #oneshot #one shot #wanda maximoff oneshot #wanda maximoff one shot #scarlet witch oneshot #scarlet witch one shot #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #avengers x reader insert #avengers reader insert #wanda maximoff x gender neutral reader #marvel gender neutral reader insert #wanda maximoff/reader #scarlet witch/reader

[storiesforallfandoms]

cliche ~ yungblud

word count: 2440

request?: yes!

chieftreepandagarden “Can I please get a yungblud x female reader. The reader is Dom child best friend who is a YouTuber and revealing on her channel that she is dating dom”

description: while doing a q&a on her channel, she decides to tell the cliched story of her and her childhood best friend falling in love

pairing: yungblud x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

“Next question is one that I get a lot,” I read from my phone. “How did you meet Dom?”

I smiled to myself as I remembered the very first day I had met my best friend.

My mum had dragged me to the new neighbours house to wecolme them to the neighbourhood. She said we should be neighbourly, that everyone else had gone to welcome them. I didn’t understand why what everyone else did had to affect what I had to do, but I was only 6. It wasn’t like I could just stay home.

A woman around mum’s age answered the door after mum knocked. She smiled at the two of us, but gave me a wider smile that I always got because I was a “cute child”.

“Hello there,” she said, directing a high pitched voice that people usually use when talking to young children in my direction.

“Hi,” I said. My mum nudged me due to my bored tone.

“I’m (Y/M/N), and this is my daughter, (Y/N),” she said. “We wanted to come welcome you to the neighbourhood.”

“Well, aren’t you the sweetest?” the still unnamed woman said, kneeling down to smile at me. “I have a little boy that’s about your age. If you and your mummy would like to come in you could play with him for a bit.”

The mention of another kid my age excited me more, and I turned to look at my mum, hopefully. She smiled and nodded, “Of course, we’d love to come in.”

I excitedly followed our new neighbour to her backyard, where a boy roughly my age was sat in the grass playing with some toys. I bounded out of the door and sat next to him, way too excited to play with a kid I didn’t even know yet.

“Who are you?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows together.

“I’m (Y/N), I’m your new neighbour. Your mum said I could come play with you!”

This was a good enough explanation, as he smiled back and said, “Okay! I’m Dom!”

And with that, we began playing with his toys.

“Kids are way too trusting,” I said as I finished the story. “I was really okay with running into this stranger’s house at the age of 6 because I was told that there was another kid there, and Dom was just okay with a random 6 year old girl sitting next to him and playing with his toys! I tell you, if we had more common sense we never would’ve met. It’s probably a good thing that neither of us have ever had common sense, or else we wouldn’t have stayed such good friends.”

I looked back down at my phone before looking up at the camera again. “You know, there are so many questions about Dom and our friendship, so why don’t I just tell the story of the second most asked question: have we ever had a crush on one another? The simple answer: yes! Of course we have! We’ve been best friends for almost 20 years now, that included going through that awkward adolescent phase where all you wanna do is kiss or fuck anything that walks. Doesn’t help that our best friends kept trying to force us together in high school, of course.”

“There is no way you feel absolutely nothing for, Dom, or you never have felt anything,” Krista said as I closed my locker door.

“He’s basically my brother, Kris, that’s gross!” I responded, hoping neither of the girls noticed the blush on my face.

“You keep saying that, but brothers and sisters don’t act the way you two do,” Genevieve told me. “You’re always being all touchy feely with one another, and you always tease one another in a flirty way.”

“I tease him because he’s an idiot,” I retorted. “I don’t know why you two want us together so bad. He’s my best friend, nothing more and nothing less.”

“Just think of how cute you guys would be together!” Krista said. “You’d be the power couple of the group!”

I rolled my eyes at her and promptly elbowed both of them upon seeing Dom and his friends approaching us. Genevieve and Krista giggled as the three boys met us halfway.

“Hey,” Dom said, smiling his bright smile directly towards me. I felt my heart race with excitement, but I tried my best not to let it show.

“Hey,” I responded, smiling back at him. Krista nudged me slightly, but I shot her a quick glare as she did.

“We’ve finally convinced Dom to come to watch the football game with us tonight,” his friend, Harry said. “Will you ladies be joining us?”

I looked between Genevieve and Krista, but they were already looking back at me expectantly. I shrugged. “I guess...maybe. I do have a lot of homework to do.”

“The game will be over by, like, 8 at the latest, you can pull an all nighter,” Harry insisted.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to go. Homework was the last thing I wanted to be doing with my night, especially when my grades were doing well alright, and our teachers liked me too much to ever fail me. If my homework was late they’d probably just give me some sort of late penalty.

“Alright,” I said with a shrug. “I’m down. What about you guys?”

Genevieve and Krista were already nodding before my words were completely out.

“Sweet,” Dom’s other friend, Josh, said. “The game starts around 6, so meet at the bleachers around 5 so we can get a good seat?”

We all agreed and went our own ways as the warning bell rang.

~~~~~~

I was the first to show up to the game at 5 on the dot. I was known for my punctuality in the group.

I was wearing a hoodie with a coat over it, and had my matching beanie and gloves on. It was only late September, but the winter cold was already creeping in. I was so cold that I was starting to regret choosing sitting outside and watching a football game over the warmth of my room, even if it meant I had to do homework for that warmth.

I kept checking my phone, waiting for a text from one of the girls, or even from Dom, to say they were almost here. As time ticked away, I thought about just ditching the whole thing. It was way too cold to just be standing around outside.

Finally, I saw Dom’s familiar lanky stature approach. I smiled when I saw him, and his smile mirrored mine when his eyes rested on me.

“Hey,” he said. “Are the girls here yet?”

I shook my head. “No, I haven’t heard from them yet either. You hear from the guys.”

“Josh said his mom is making him babysit his little sister, and Harry says he was grounded for bad grades,” Dom responded. “So...just us I guess?”

I nodded. “Yeah...just us.”

I didn’t know why I was having trouble trying to talk to Dom. We had been best friends since we were six years old, we talked all the time. But, in recent years, it had always been through text - where it’s easier to say just about anything - or our friends were with us. I hadn’t talked to Dom one-on-one, face to face, in at least a year.

“Well...we should go find a place to sit I guess,” Dom said. Unable to find my voice, I just lamely nodded.

The first half of the game was spent in silence, besides cheering every time our school managed to get a goal. I couldn’t help but check my phone a few times, hoping one of the girls was going to text me to say they were running late. Of course, that didn’t happen.

“I feel like we haven’t hung out just the two of us in a while,” Dom finally spoke after what felt like an eternity of silence. “And I feel bad about that. I hope you don’t think I’m replacing you with the boys or anything.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at this. “No, of course I know that’s not your intent. You could never replace me anyways, I’m one of a kind after all.”

The two of us laughed together, and it felt like the awkward weight on my shoulders was lifted.

“We just ended up in a friend group instead of just a duo,” I continued. “Which I think is fine. I’m glad you have Harry and Josh, and I’m glad they get along with Kris and Gen so well. It just resulted in us hanging out as a group more than just as the two of us. It was bound to happen.”

“I still feel bad about it,” Dom said. “And, as shitty as it is to say, I’m glad it ended up just being the two of us tonight. I feel like this was long overdue.”

I smiled, grateful for this alone time with Dom, too.

I shivered as another gust of cold air passed over us. Dom looked at me, concerned. “You cold?”

I nodded. “Are you not?”

“Well...yeah, I am. Not as cold, apparently.” He opened his arms to me and gestured for me to lean into him. “Come on, bring it in.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I leaned into his embrace. I took in the familiar scent of his cologne, something I had loved to smell for years. Being in his arms was so warm, but still I found myself shivering, this time mainly from nerves.

I spent the rest of the game in Dom’s arms, only once leaving when one of our football players kicked the ball into the opposite team’s neck and got us our winning goal. When the game ended, Dom and I walked together to my car, taking our time as we did so.

“I’m glad you came out tonight,” Dom said. “Mainly so I wasn’t stood up like a complete loser.”

I giggled. “I’m glad I came out, too. Now, it’s back to homework hell for me.”

Dom groaned. “Yeah, I get that. I gotta go finish a paper for English, too.”

“Oh, I finished mine last night! Text me if you need any help, I can do my best to give you the answers without flat out telling you what to write.”

Dom smiled. “I’d love that, thanks (Y/N).”

There was another silence between us a we arrived to my car. Dom was standing so close to me that I could feel his warmth still. I turned to face him and came to find he was mere inches away from me. If I wanted to (and boy, did I ever want to), I could’ve leaned forward and kissed him. I could’ve figured out right there in that moment if the feelings I had for Dom were reciprocated.

But of course, I didn’t. I stepped away from him before I did something I regretted, although my heart was thudding so hard against my chest that it was making my vision blurry. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, (Y/N).”

I watched him walk away to his car, mentally kicking myself for not making the move in that moment.

“You’d be right to call me an idiot because of that,” I told the camera. “To this day, my biggest regret was not telling Dom in that moment how I felt about him. A few years after that is when Dom went off and started making music and became Yungblud. We kept in touch, but he was always touring and travelling, so it wasn’t the same. Then, he started dating Halsey, and you can imagine how I felt about that. Luckily, this past year we got back in touch, as you all know because he’s been heavily present in my videos lately.

“How does this story end, I can hear you asking. Did you ever tell Dom? Yeah, I did, right after he kissed me and told me he had liked me ever since we were kids. He really has be beat there since I thought he was gross and had cooties when we were kids. And this is where the story becomes terribly cliched, because now I’m dating my childhood best friend. Have been for...almost a year now, actually. I’m quite proud of myself for being able to keep it a secret that long. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.”

I continued filming my Q&A video as if I hadn’t just dropped the biggest bomb on my viewers, knowing how they’d react once the video went live.

I finished filming and sat back on the couch, turned on my favourite show on Netflix, and began editing the video. I was hoping to have it up by the next day, then I’d take the weekend off to watch the reactions roll in.

As I sat back to edit, the door to my apartment opened and Dom walked in. He smiled at me and held up a bag of take out he had picked up. “I hope you haven’t eaten yet.”

“I’ve been filming for a solid two hours, of course I haven’t eaten,” I laughed, extending my hand to the take out bag. “Give.”

“Learn some manners!” he said as he approached me. I playfully rolled my eyes as he leaned his head down towards mine and gave him a quick kiss before pulling the bag from his hands. “Hey!”

I giggled as he tried to get it back from me, but I had already opened the bag and stuffed a handful of fries into my mouth.

“At least let me get us some plates,” he said, kissing my forehead before going to my kitchen.

“I filmed that video today,” I called after him, after swallowing the mouthful of food. “The Q&A one where I revealed we’re together. I’m hoping to have it up by tomorrow.”

“The internet is going to implode.”

“I know, but I’d like for them to know now.” He joined me on the couch again, passing me my plate. “I like you too much to keep you a secret any longer.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he said, kissing my cheek again. “Show me the video when it’s done editing, I want to be the first person who knows we’re dating.”

I laughed as I playfully pushed him. I rested my head on his shoulder, leaning into him the way I had those years before at the football game, as I continued to edit the video.

#yungblud #yungblud imagine #yungblud x reader #dominic harrison #dominic harrison x reader #dominic harrison imagine #dom harrison #dom harrison imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[writingtoforgetreality]

Help You - Little Movie Star Chapter Six (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter 

Summary: Your auditions were coming up. You would lie if you said you were not nervous but you remembered your lines. So nothing could go wrong. Maybe something would. But that something was not associated with the auditions.

Words: 2,003

Warnings: nervousness, little fangirl moment, anxiety, dark thoughts, panic attack, a lil sass, fluff, love for Jared <3, (Y/A) = your age

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

~2016~

“You know your lines?” Jensen asked for the thirtieth time today. Honestly, if you did not know better, you would say he was more nervous than you.

“I do, Jensen.” you did not ask him to stop questioning you. All you did was sending him a smile. Seating yourself in front of your laptop, (Jensen gave you his old one so you could write) you breathed slowly & controlled. Yes, you were nervous but you had a good feeling. Jensen & Danneel, both wanting to support you, each took seats right behind the laptop, only for you to see.

The first audition went by smoothly. You remembered all of your lines & implemented what was asked of you. Once you started, your nervousness faded away & you were delivering the lines confidently. At the end, they told you they would let you know as soon as they discussed everything with the rest of the crew.

“I’m proud of you, (Y/N).” Jensen stated after you ended the video call. Nobody had ever told you that. It meant a lot to you & he could tell by the way you reacted. Now, the waiting began. Jared had asked you to text him once you were done & you did. Letting him know that everything went fine.

You were more anxious for the Marvel audition. Unsure why, your heart was racing & your hands were trembling. It was not any different than the first one. Well, except for the fact that THE Russo Brothers were the ones doing the audition. You had been a fan of their work for years & wanted to deliver perfectly. Also, being part of the next Avengers movie? Surreal. You remembered it so clearly, when you watched your first Marvel movie in theaters. It was now or never. Again, Jensen & Danneel stood close by, hoping it would calm you down just the slightest.

Throughout your audition, you forgot your lines once or twice but covered it immediately by improvising a scene that you found fitting. It was weird. Sitting in front of a laptop, acting out a scene you were rehearsing before. You imagined working on film sets with other people to be easier. Here, you could only focus on the screen in front of you & Joe & Anthony Russo were not exactly people you wanted to focus on. Hell, you were acting like a crazy little fangirl.

“So, (Y/N).” Anthony started. “We actually have a few more auditions for this role coming up.” in the corner of your eye, you saw Jensen picking up his phone & walking out of the room. Huh, weird…

“I really don’t think we need to see more, though.” Joe continued.

“What we’re trying to say is that, if you want to, you got the role.” Anthony finished, smiling brightly. What did he just say?

“Really?” you could not believe it. They wanted you! YOU! Someone who had never acted before. The Russo’s simply nodded at you & told you that every piece of information would be sent to you in the following days. Somehow, you managed to end the video call professionally but not before thanking them again & again. They said you were a natural & a perfect addition to their new movie. And you were just loving everything at the moment.

Running over to Danneel, you hugged her tightly. She congratulated you, telling you that this was what you deserved. When you wanted to ask where Jensen was, he reentered the room, a big smile plastered on his face.

“I got the role!”

“You got the role!” the two of you said at the same time.

“What? I thought you were on the phone, how do you know?” how could he know about you getting the role if he was not even there?

“You’re talking about the Marvel one?” his eyes grew wide. You nodded & he pulled you into a hug.

“Today’s your lucky day, angel.” Jensen picked up that nickname from Danneel & you sure as hell were not complaining. “Just got off the phone with our producer. Welcome to the Supernatural Family.” it took you a moment to process what he said.

“Wait…Does that mean-?” Jensen nodded. “Oh my god! This is crazy…” you were pacing now. This being the only thing you could do at the moment.

“Congrats, (Y/N)! We need to celebrate!” he immediately called Jared to tell him the great news.

A celebration party was set up for this evening. Everyone was coming. The Padalecki’s, this time with Tom & Shep (& baby number three that was already growing inside Gen’s belly). Jensen’s parents were invited as well which meant that you would meet them for the first time. You were not a fan of parties, especially when the attention was on you, but Jensen & Danneel were so excited while planning everything, you did not want to ruin it by admitting that you actually disliked events like this. Being the center of a crowd made you uneasy but you just got two acting roles, you could play pretend for a few hours, right?

The party was not as bad as you first expected it to be. Meeting your grandparents for the first time was nice, they welcomed you warmly & told you that they were glad they could finally meet you in person. Everyone here knew about your upcoming roles but you were asked to keep it secret for the time being. People would find out soon enough anyway. This celebration tonight was more than you had ever had. Not even once had you had a birthday party or something similar. You were not used to these kinds of things. Apparently, you should get used to them since such parties occurred more often with these people. Though you had to admit that it would be a challenge for you. You liked each & every one of these people here but still, there were these tiny voices in your head that just would not shut up. Telling you that you did not deserve to have them in your life, that you were not good enough to be an actor, that they were better off without you. Shaking your head to rid yourself of these awful thoughts, you could feel your breathing becoming irregular. Shit, please not now. Not in front of everyone. You had to get out of here, you could not have a full blown panic attack when you were supposed to celebrate & have fun. Looking around the room, you saw that the kids were playing & the others were caught up in a conversation. If you were to make an exit, now would be the time. Without a second thought, you got up & hurried out of the room, heading for the safety of your own bedroom.

Shutting the door behind you, you did not even make it to your bed. You fell down to your knees & crawled the remaining distance to your bed where you sat with your back pressed to it. Your breakdown was stupid, you knew that. You got two acting roles, something you had dreamed about ever since you were little. You had a family where, for the first time, you felt like you actually belonged. Hell, there were people here to celebrate you. But the past always seemed to catch up with you, no matter how hard you tried to move on. You could not breathe. Why could you not breathe? If you did not get yourself together, you might actually pass out. Shit, you could not do this alone. But you also did not have the strength to get up. Your phone was left at the party because you forgot it in your state of panic. Trying to yell for someone to help you, you found that your voice had left you.

Experiencing panic attacks like this was everything but fun. Like you were the main character in a horror movie & you made all the stupid mistakes the audience usually joked about. There was no way to escape. You did not hear the knock on your door, neither did you feel when a presence sat down right next to you. But still, nobody was touching you. And you were grateful for that because who knew how you would have reacted to anyone touching you.

“You gotta breathe for me, (Y/N). In & out, in & out. Try to match my breathing.” was the first thing you heard after minutes. You knew the voice but could not tell who it belonged to. Not that it mattered in the moment. Having someone to tell you how to breathe was all you needed.

“There you go, you’re doing great.” the voice encouraged you. Your breathing slowly returned to normal & you were exhausted like crazy. Looking to your right, you found Jared sitting next to you, smiling slightly. Shit, you just embarrassed yourself in front of him.

“You okay?” he asked, still concerned about you.

“I’m sorry.” your voice was hoarse & it felt like almost every ounce of strength had left your body because of this panic attack.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” he assured you. “I could tell you didn’t hear me right away & I wasn’t sure if you were okay with me touching you so I tried my best to get your breathing back to normal.” you were unsure how to answer him. You knew he struggled with his own mental health. Maybe he thought you were faking this. At least other people always believed you wanted attention whenever you went through an episode like that. It was the exact opposite, if you were completely honest.

Silence filled the room once again. Jared was not done with talking, though.

“Do Jensen & Dee know?” you scoffed at that. If they knew they probably would have never set up this party in the first place.

“I guess that’s a no then.” he answered his question himself. “How long have you had these?” maybe it was the fact that you were too tired, but you found yourself opening up to Jared.

“Ever since I can remember.” admitting something like that was not easy but it was the truth.

“You should tell them.”

“So they have another reason to send me back?” Jared widened his eyes at your statement. Were you really thinking that?

“They would never, & I really mean NEVER, send you back, (Y/N). They care for you a lot & they’d be more than open to help you with this. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“Oh yeah? Well, I’ve been dealing with this for (Y/A) years on my own & I’m doing just fine.” the moment you said it, you heard that you were way too harsh with him. That was not your intention. “Sorry, Jared. I didn’t mean it like that.” looking down to avoid his stare, you waited for him to get up & walk out of your room. He did not, though. No. But his next question caught you off guard.

“You want a hug?” that was all you needed at the moment. A slight nod of your head made Jared pull you closer to his body. His embrace felt like a safe haven & you were happy that he was the one who followed you upstairs. Jared let you hug him for as long as you needed. Right now, you were all that mattered. And if you did not want to tell Jensen or Danneel, he would. They were his best friends & if he knew you were struggling, it was his job to let them know as well.

“We’ll get through this together, I promise.” pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, he could feel you tightening your grip on him. For once, you wanted to trust another person’s promise. For once, you needed another person to keep their promise. You were not sure if you could keep going otherwise.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (04/24/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624​, @imaginationisgrowth​, @stoneyggirl​, @alyispunk​, @thevelvetseries​, @multifandomlover121​, @samsgirl93​, @supernatural3002​, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector​, @vir-tual, @bellero​, @sergantbuckybarnes​, @namelesslosers​ (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

#Jensen Ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x daughter!reader #daughter!reader #daughter reader #danneel ackles #Jared Padalecki #actors #original series #supernatural #supernatural cast #imagine #reader insert #reader imagine #Little Movie Star Chapter Six #marvel #russo brothers #audition #fluff #fanfic #fanfiction #supernatural family #SPNFamily

[yournameyn]

Feeling Deeply

Genre: Fluff so much fluff. Arranged Marriage fic.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

A/N: Aaaaaa this is the first fic I'm posting ever ever. It's basically a way to follow the red thread of my desires. OC is named Brishti. She's Indian. She's Bengali & curvy & an introvert. This whole fic is 90% going to be a slow burn fluff fic about two introvert nerds getting to know each other. Seriously there's like hardly any real angst, maybe slight angst about okay when are these two going to bang - if you look very carefully but basically its just slooooow fluuuufff. Hopefully you all like it. Please let me know what you think.

Current Chapter: Remember this is all happening in the 1960s. OC & Namjoon are both really well off first gen immigrants. Nowhere is this the general representation of immigrant experience. Just a special exception because I want to write fluuuuffff. A bit of how this weird marriage took place. Lots of character details.

Previously in Feeling Deeply: Preface-ish

CHAPTER 1

The doorbell rang. Brishti got up to answer it. She handed the cheque to the movers. She was proud to have chipped in. Namjoon hadn’t had a problem with it. Brishti had tried really hard to react as though that was a very normal thing to have happened in a marriage (it wasn’t, not in the marriages she’d seen). Namjoon had taken part in picking out the furniture too - something that was always delegated to the woman. In fact, both of them had been clueless about how to decorate a home. All the same, they’d put together the basics. Today, they had received and unpacked all of their furniture - a two seater sofa, two tables - one for him, one for her & a set of four chairs. And a bed. It had been four days since the wedding.

“Brishti…” Namjoon sighed softly, without her knowing.

He seemed to be drunk on her beauty & her words. He was just noticing how her skin reminded him of the colour of the dark chestnut wood in the warmest evening glow.

Many of his relatives were upset he’d chosen a dark-skinned woman as his wife, a woman who was four years older nonetheless! He knew what the gossip-mongers would say, since he was one of the most eligible bachelors in their social circle, back home in Korea - ”She’s 30! Indian! I didn’t know the Kims had such bad money problems!” Even thinking about the snide comments they would be saying made him livid.

He was thankful his parents only wanted him to be happy. Happily married, that is. Happily single was not really an option. Only two weeks ago, Namjoon was approaching 27 and being severely pressured by his parents to get married soon. They were so tired of their son’s fickle mind that they were even prepared to accept a white woman for their daughter-in-law. When his parents heard about Brishti, they were overjoyed that she belonged to the same continent as Korea.

Namjoon would later learn the strange events that landed his would-be Indian bride in the pile of photos sent by his parent-appointed-official Korean matchmaker-cum-defacto-grandmother.

Brishti had avoided marriage like the plague & had tried to keep her freedom. So much so, the shame she’d brought on had forced her parents to cart her off with her brother to London, claiming they’d found a suitor for her there. And so it fell to Bikram, Brishti’s elder brother - who wanted to frolic in London while trying to be a lawyer - to get her married & send word (and a few photos) of his sister’s wedding as soon as possible.

To be in London, to be here in the swinging sixties, Brishti was happy as can be - she was freer here than she had ever been. She cut off her hair to a pixie-cut the first week of being here. Just this would have caused a month-long conflict at her home. Here, she could finally put to use the education she’d received intended as certificates for the trophy wife she was supposed to be. Here, she could dream.

When the novelty of the new place wore off a bit, Brishti missed the forest. She was from Bengal & had practically grown up in the Sunderbans. And that language, the language of forests, that was truly her mother-tongue. There, in the forest everything was equal. A mushroom & a tree, an elephant & an ant - all worked together to create something bigger than the sum of their parts. Out here in the human world, Brishti had noticed a lot more parasitic creatures.

There weren’t many forests in dreary London. Libraries, however, were aplenty. The next best thing was to be surrounded by books. Brishti began dreaming of a life around books. She wanted to work.

When she approached her brother about wanting to apply for an apprenticeship at The British Library, he scoffed at Brishti’s dream. So, a bargain was struck, Brishti would shut up and marry someone that would let her work (just wording it like that enraged her) in exchange for the permission and travel allowance to be an apprentice librarian at the British Library.

Bikram had rushed to his parent-assigned-defacto-Bangla-grandmother-cum-matchmaker but it seemed that she had been rushed to the hospital right before his arrival. Not willing to take any chances, Brishti’s brother had approached the only other matchmaker-cum-asian-grandmother in the building - Namjoon’s. It had taken him an hour and a bribe of 50 pounds to convince the halmeoni to include his ‘wrong-age, wrong-nationality, wrong-colour, wrong-figure, wrong-attitude’ sister’s photos in her pile.

Namjoon saw her in the pile of photos labelled ‘trash’ in Korean - the black and white photograph of Brishti, with the big bright black eyes. And the antics of a woman who clearly didn’t want to get married - she was huffing angrily in the picture, but was about to break into a smile, as if the photographer was teasing her, trying to ease her into taking her picture. There were three pictures, in one of which, Brishti was trying to swat the lens with the book in her hand. Namjoon had studied the picture carefully to find that the book she was reading was Anna Karenina. ‘How fitting’, he had thought then.

He’d told the matchmaker and his parents right away that this is the girl he wanted to meet - the first of all the photos ever shown to him. This was the one right he’d fought for with his parents - he gets to have the final say. His parents had agreed to let him have an almost-arranged marriage. Mostly because of how proud of him they were.

It irked him a little, how proud they were - of their son who had chosen to be a lawyer instead of his thirteen-year-old self’s dream - to be a poet. He knew they meant well. They meant for him to have a stable, settled life. He knew he was a grown man now, still, it scared him to think how they would react if they knew he still wrote poetry and intended to publish, someday, if he ever found someone he could actually read it to. That it was still his dream.

Namjoon got back to the present when Brishti said “Done!” as she handed Namjoon’s pen back to him. She smiled a little smile at him. He felt her smile getting warmer toward him since the first time he’d met her, over a week ago.

Wanting to keep the conversation going, Namjoon asked her, “Is there anything you’d like to ask me?” Half expecting her to ask - ‘How did you decide so soon that you wanted to marry me?’ or ‘Did you ever see me before we met?’ but she turned around to face him & simply asked a question he’d forgotten people could ask each other-

“How are you?”

Just then, it seemed like the universe had conspired for him to meet his dream again - A simple question that carried a hug. Namjoon smiled wide because he found himself married to a poem.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oooooh god you read it?! Thank you so much! Please please let me know what you thought! Get into my messages about it! I would love nothing more than to hear what you felt about this!

#bts kim namjoon #fanfic #namjoon fluff #namjoon arranged marriage #namjoon x oc #arranged marriage #slow burn #slow burn fic #fluff fic #bts fanfic #bts #indian oc #red thread fics

[cooloddball]

I swear to God, these copy pasta anons have me so on edge that every time I see an anon saying they’re losing their faith in cockles or whatever I just think they’re an undercover anti or something. So here’s the thing, I think Jensen’s been a lot more active on social media purely because of business. He’s posted about and commented on his new co workers’ instagram posts a lot lately. It’s obviously for pr and that’s ok, in fact I think until two weeks ago, most of his interactions with J@red were about w@lker, and then the fallout drama happened and now he’s going out of his way to show that he and the overgrown man-child are ok again, it’s actually a little funny. He doesn’t really need to do that anymore with Misha, as of now they won’t be in any new projects together (that we know of) but he still makes a point of liking Misha’s posts, even ones that made me raise an eyebrow, like the bloody shirt one or the 4th of July one. Besides we know Jenmish like to keep their business private. Technically speaking, they don’t really need to interact anymore because they’re just former coworkers to the outside world, I don’t think they’ll rock the boat and go out of their way to flirt on social media, especially because a lot more people are zooming in on their relationship lately. But like I said, they like to mostly keep their shit private, it’s been proven to us many times. The whole “Vicki helped me move in with a friend” business,and then it turns out that friend was Jensen all these years later, or all the times that they hung out outside of work that we only find out about later on, the latest example being that ridiculously couple-y picture where they’re holding their coworker’s new baby in a hospital. My point is, Jenmish will be perceived by us when they want to be perceived by us. We don’t really have a way of knowing how much they’ve kept in touch, but based on things like “ok babe” or ‘blanygate’ as some like to call it, I’m guessing they’re doing just fine.

Yes I agree with all this.

However, Jensen has always commented on his friends' posts. And what's interesting it's almost always something thirsty especially under Max's posts :)

x x

What's interesting is that he rarely comments on Misha's photos and he even has a particular way in which he likes Misha's posts.

As for him and JP, yes I think it's for PR to show everything is okay. I think he wants to put all the bs behind him being that he's doing a spn prequel and spn is based on the premise of family. He and JP have been branded as family for so long so much so that that's all there ever will be. I also believe they made up and are still friends but that tantrum JP threw put an extra strain on their friendship.

Speaking of PR. Jensen has liked all of Clif's posts from June. Nothing in that is weird per se, but he rarely likes his posts. What's even more interesting is that Clif always tags JP, Gen, Jensen and Dee on his posts( why does he do that though? It's a bit odd. Also do you remember when Clif's brother was hating on hellers and cockles shippers on twitter last year and Speaking on behalf of the Ackles and Dee said he doesn't even know who he is and should stop spaeaking on behalf of her family?)

Anyway Clif stopped tagging Jensen and Dee after the JP's Twitter tantrum. However, Jensen has liked each and every photo since that date. It's just funny.

x x x

Also Clif and Misha don't follow each other on IG anymore. I think they used to follow each other or at least Clif used to follow Misha because he follows everyone from the spn cast 👀 even Alaina and Matt. Something isn't adding up.

Also remember Dee posting the mantra tea on her IG stories a few days after the scandal whilst on a walk in the woods? 👀 all I'm saying is if they are trying too hard all of a sudden and it's damage control. It's all a out family and this is not far fetched tbh.

All in all, Jensen "coping with shit" Ackles J"gutted" P and Misha "I love and miss you both" Collins are all still friends though the dynamics of that friendship may have changed greatly since the spn prequel announcement.

On cockles. Yes there are still together. As I said in my answer earlier, social media comments and likes don't mean anything tbh.

This digressed a lot but I think it's in the purview of PR and even if you didn't ask for this, it's what you got, LOL.

Speaking of copy pasta anons I have one very bitter anon in my inbox and I just laughed at what they had to say about me and cockles. Stay tuned for developments.

#asks #anon #j2 fallout theory #aftermath of j2 fallout #this whole plot keeps thickening #it gets curiouser and curiouser #jensen and friends #copy pasta #j2 fallout