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fairyoftbz · 3 years

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insecurities | l. juyeon

🧸 pairing: idol!juyeon x (insecure) fem!reader 🧸 word count: 2.7k 🧸 genre: angst, fluffy end 🧸 tw: mentions of insecurities, doubts 🧸 a/n: sorry i forgot to post, i had a busy day and im exhausted, i hope it's gonna be enough! 🧸 requested: yes! thank you, it is very cliché but i hope this is what you had in mind! 💝

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Juyeon came home tired but happy, excited to see you again after a long day of intense practice and a show where he participated as an MC. You, on the other hand, were not as happy as he was, but you were for sure tired of something.

You couldn’t deny it, dating Juyeon had positive points, he was everything you could ask for in a man, but there were just as many negative points. He was an attractive, sweet gentleman, and it was almost impossible for him not to attract other girls, not even doing it on purpose. And it was one of your many insecurities even if you considered yourself pretty, you couldn’t help but get insecure every time he talked to someone else.

Because let’s be honest, in the Korean music industry, every single woman looks like an absolute goddess. So, when he interacts with someone, and they’re a bit too friendly, your heart pinches in pain as he gives them the smile he keeps for you and you only.

You think that they are more interesting, prettier and funnier than you, which has the ability to send your thoughts to the dark side of self-consciousness, not feeling pretty or enough next to those women. And tonight, it was hard to watch on National TV your boyfriend being extremely friendly with the other MC.

You had tried to comfort yourself that it was just a mask, that he had to look friendly and handsome on TV. However, you couldn’t help feeling disappointment and anger as he gave attentive eyes to the other MC as she explained something, his eyes falling on her lips pressed against the mic.

Juyeon walks through the main door, tossing his keys on the chest of drawers, getting rid of his jacket and shoes before joining you in the living room, happy to see that you were watching the same channel he appeared on. Eyes glued on the screen, your thumb rubbed against your lips, feeling the skin of the cuticles you scratched while watching your boyfriend feeling rough against your lips.

“Hi love,” he said as he sat next to you, pressing his lips on your cheek. You didn’t react, only emitting a slight hum as he sat comfortably.

Juyeon frowned but didn’t raise your bad mood, trying to think what was going on inside your head. Maybe you had a bad day, or you were just tired, despite scratching his head and think, he couldn’t pinpoint what had brought you in such a bad mood.

“Did you have fun?” you bitterly spat, and Juyeon’s eyes widened, surprised by your tone, the wrinkle on his forehead deepening as his brows furrowed at your attitude.

“I did. Are you mad or something?” he bluntly asked, and you sighed, taking the remote to turn the TV off, falling in an unpleasant, uncomfortable silence.

“Oh no, I’m super fine. I really enjoyed my boyfriend giving heart eyes to another girl on national TV, it was such a nice thing to watch,” you bitterly chuckled, and Juyeon’s eyes widened even more, not expecting you to pull out the jealousy card on that.

“Babe, what are you talking about? You know-”

“Please, spare me your fake confusion and lame excuses, I clearly saw what I saw. My eyes never deceive me,” you said while standing up, but Juyeon was quick to imitate you and grab your wrist to prevent you from walking away. You tried to free yourself from his grip, but he only tightened his hand around it.

“Juyeon, let me go,” you said through clenched teeth, trying to prevent the tears from escaping your eyes. Breaking down was the last thing you wanted to do in this situation.

“Not before you explain to me what this fuss is all about,” he said, irritation replacing confusion in his eyes. You let out a mocking scoff, your eyes filled with anger and disdain boring into your boyfriend’s, holding eye contact for a few seconds.

“You really think I’m this dumb? I clearly saw the eyes you gave to the other MC when you were both animating the show. Cracking jokes, giving her smiles that could outshine the sun, your eyes ogling her lips when she was talking or smiling. Did you really think I wouldn’t catch that?” you raised your voice, letting anger take over your body.

“I never did all of that, I don’t know what you are insinuating,” he spat, trying not to show it, but your words hurt him, hating the fact that you could imagine him cheat on you or fancy another girl.

“Go on social media then, you will see what I am ‘insinuating’! Everyone is already talking about how whipped you are and how cute of a couple you would look together. Some fans are even starting to make edits!” you shouted, shoving your phone in your hoodie’s front pocket.

Juyeon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to calm his nerves a bit, a gesture that had the ability to enrage you even more. Your family used to do that when they found you annoying or wanted to belittle you, and now seeing Juyeon doing the exact same thing as them really made you even more insecure about this whole situation. Your family made you feel like a real burden during your childhood and teen years that it hurt you to think that Juyeon was probably agreeing with that thought right now.

“Y/N, I don’t know what you are talking about. I was just trying to be nice, I can’t be rude or it’s mine and the group’s reputation that I’ll take down with me-”

“No it’s okay, no need to explain yourself, the message was very clear,” you said, and you finally freed yourself from his grip, your heart breaking as Juyeon sighed in annoyance again, seeing him almost roll his eyes.

“It’s not what I meant, and you know it. Don’t react like that, please,” he started, but you waved your hand in front of you.

“No, no, I got it, you-”

“Y/N, for the love of God, stop being so fucking insecure, it’s getting so fucking annoying at this point! I can’t do anything without you getting fucking doubtful, start having faith in me and in this relationship, dammit!” your eyes widened as Juyeon eventually snapped, his mouth slowly closing as he stared at you, realisation hitting him that his words and tone made a lot of damage once he saw the tears gather in your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

The couch separated the two of you, creating the illusion of a painful wall that made you shiver, feeling like your apartment had lost all of its warmth on the spur of the moment. His words were brutal, and they bounced around your skull, your head turning towards the corridor to swallow the lump forming in your throat, trying not to break down in front of him.

“Y/N, I’m-”

“Leave me alone,” you replied, voice wavering as you walked out of the living room, slamming the bedroom door shut before locking it.

Juyeon sighed and carded his hands through his dark locks, closing his eyes as he thought of the words that had escaped his mouth too quickly. He cursed under his breath as the living room fell into a deafening silence, his hands linked at the back of his neck as he thought of what just happened.

“Why did I say that,” he muttered under his breath and collapsed on the couch, unlocking his phone and scrolling on social media to try and momentarily forget your beautiful face painted with a hurtful expression because of him, but it was to no avail.

He saw what you saw; the fiction, the edits, the collages, he saw and read everything. He already hated seeing you cry and being hurt, but he actually loathed himself for being such an idiot and not comfort you about the whole situation with what was happening on every social platform.

His heart shattered in millions of pieces as he pictured you crying in your shared bed, holding the stuffed animal he got you for your anniversary tight against your chest, letting you drown in your insecurities and intrusive thoughts. He loved you very much, but despite him trying to remind you every single day, your intrusive thoughts always managed to get the upper hand when you found yourself hanging out on your own or with some friends. It was as if your brain shut out everyone who tried to reassure you or make you feel better, letting you drown and struggle in your sorrow.

Yes, the other idols were pretty, but they were nothing compared to you. Juyeon had only eyes for you and cared about you and, of course, his members, but never had he thought about leaving you for someone else. His intentions were just to sound and appear nice and welcoming on TV because he knew that some fans, antis and media wouldn’t hesitate a second to bash him on different platforms and articles for his rudeness and insensitivity towards his idol colleague. And not only would he break his reputation, but also the group’s, and that’s the last thing he wanted.

However, he also understood that it was something hard to watch for you, even if he reminded you every single day that you were the only one that mattered in his eyes.

Sitting on the couch, he started reflecting, putting himself in your shoes for a second. How would he have reacted if he saw you being super friendly and affectionate to another man? Someone more handsome, nicer than him, cracking jokes here and there to see you smile and laugh.

He tossed his phone on the couch space next to him, where he wished you were instead of crying yourself in your shared bed, watching the device bounce, collide with the armrest and fall on the ground. He didn’t even fret checking if the screen cracked, head too high in his thoughts to bother.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he pressed his joined hands against his mouth, tongue poking his inner cheek as he realised he had really messed everything up. His knee started bouncing at the disgusting thought of losing you, perfectly knowing that he had to do something before you could slip through his hand like grains of sand.

Juyeon stood up and knocked on the bedroom door, softly calling for your name.

“Y/N?” he asked, and you didn’t respond, faintly hearing you cry on the other side of the wall. “Go away, please,” your strained voice barely making it to his ears, his fingers drumming against the surface of the door in frustration.

From your side of the bed, still holding that teddy bear close to your chest, you let your tears damp the top of its head, feeling the exhaustion of crying kicking in. Juyeon didn’t knock another time, trying not to push your buttons too much to save his chances to talk to you.

You heard a small thud on the lower part of the door, frowning as you wondered what it was. Deep breathings filled in the silence lingering in the corridor, selfishly feeling a bit relieved that you weren’t the only one hurt in this situation. Juyeon was a smart, tolerant man, he knew when to put his pride aside and not blame you for something you said or did. Well, it’s not the case for this time, and it’s probably exhaustion that spoke for him, and that, of course, doesn’t excuse anything, but he wanted to apologise and make up for everything.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me or hear my voice after what I’ve told you, but I really want to apologise for what I’ve said,” you held your breath to hear his faint, low voice on the other side of the door. You sat up and felt dizzy for a quick second, still holding the teddy bear against your chest, your face buried in its head as you let the tears keep rolling on your cheeks.

“I know it’s hard to date me, and I’m really sorry, I wish we had a simpler life, where we could hang out and go on dates like two normal people. It’s also hard for me to not be the type of boyfriend everyone wishes to have, but I’m so damn grateful to call you mine.” Juyeon marked a pause and ruffled his hair, pushing the front pieces away from his hair while thinking of his following words.

“I… you don’t know how much I’m sorry for using your insecurities against you. I shouldn’t have, it was the dumbest move I could ever do, but I just didn’t know what to answer. You are so pretty, so beautiful, amazing, and absolutely wonderful to have around to me, so seeing you this insecure makes me mad every time you compare yourself to someone you think looks prettier, thinner, or more perfect than you. It’s... really frustrating because I try my best to make you feel like a goddess and worth it every day, but those unrealistic society standards and god damn social media make you feel like you are not worth an ounce of love,” he took in a big breath and raised his knees upwards, letting his forearms rest on them.

You slowly opened the door behind him and dropped the teddy bear by his side, letting him know of your presence. He was quick to notice it and turn around to hug your legs tightly, your hands finding their way in his hair and started massaging his skull.

“I’m so sorry, Ju,” you faintly whispered, and he breathed in deeply against your skin as if he finally found you again after being separated from you for years.

He grabbed your cherished stuffed animal and stood up, holding it against your chest with a tender smile. He sat you down on the bed and gave you a proper hug, mouth pressing loving kisses on your forehead and temple as his hand caressed the back of your head, holding you as close to him as possible.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I really am. I love you so, so much, I’m really sorry for all the stupid words I’ve thrown at you,” he said, and you shook your head, squeezing your arms around his middle tightly as an answer.

“I guess I have to accept that you have eyes only for me. But you know, it’s hard to acknowledge it and believe it when you find everyone around you ten times more beautiful than you are,” you mumbled against his chest as you sat on his lap, and he nodded, feeling a lump rising in his throat.

“I know Y/N, I know. I wish I could rid you of those insecurities, my heart breaks each time I see you so unsure of yourself. You're just so beautiful and amazing, it honestly kills me to see you like this,” he whispered, and you bitterly chuckled, gently pulling away to look at him with pearly eyes, his arms around you holding you still tight, making sure that you wouldn’t go too far from him.

“You can’t do that, but maybe you can help me soothe them by keeping loving me the way you’ve done since day one,” you mumbled, and he smiled, his eyes shining with tears just like yours.

You both cupped each other’s face and sadly smiled at the other, Juyeon feeling comforted at the sensation of your thumbs wiping the tears away from his cheeks and vice versa.

“We just need time, love, but I promise I’m going to help you realise how much you mean to me and how beautiful you are. And how much I don’t care about other girls,” he mumbled, and he gently drew your face closer to his, your lips grazing against his mouth. You closed your eyes at the proximity, feeling so much love and passion in his kiss that it was getting hard to breathe.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” Juyeon pulled away from your lips and whispered against your mouth, his hot breath mixing with yours.

“I love you too,” you smiled, burying your face in his neck, your boyfriend kissing the crown of your head while hugging you tight.

You giggled as Juyeon applied pressure on your waist, making you fall on your side on the bed. His hand gently cradled your cheek, thumb caressing your cheekbone with a soft smile on his face. You closed your eyes and pressed your forehead against his, feeling him chuckle and gently press his lips against yours.

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multiplefandomsblog · 3 years

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Rantaro x Shy!Reader x Nagito

warnings: nsfw, cunningulus, breast play, necking, virgin reader, threesome, biting, the reader uses female pronouns and has female parts!

word count: 1.6k words

also, i haven’t finished dgrv3 yet so I probably won’t do Rantaro justice, but i still hope you enjoy :)

You were sleeping in your room when you heard your door bell ring. You groaned out a rushed, “I-I’m coming!” You quickly got out of bed, completely overlooking the fact that you weren’t wearing pants. You walked up to the door, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes with one arm, and opening the door with the other. Your eyes widened and you fully woke up when you were faced with the two boys your heart was split for. Nagito and Rantaro.

Nagito; You believed Nagito was sweet and had good intentions. His hope rants that everybody thought was annoying, were adorable to you. You could understand his perspective and his need to help everyone, he convinced you that hope really was beautiful. Not only that, but every time you hung out with him, he always made you feel better about yourself. He would constantly compliment you and put you on a pedestal, worshipping the floor you walk on.

Rantaro; You had grown to rely on this man, being timid all your life has been hard. So he helped you cope with your anxiety, never pushing you to go too far out of your comfort zone. He was always patient, and that’s what you loved about him. He would always be gentle but stern with you, and he always took care of you.

As you can see, you were torn between the two. You couldn’t choose who you loved more, Nagito or Rantaro. So you can imagine the surprise on your face when you saw the only 2 boys that you fell for, right in front of you.

“My hope- Mmphh?” Nagito made a confused noise and turned his head to look at Rantaro, his speech rudely interrupted when Rantaro slapped his hand on Nagito’s mouth, “Why aren’t you wearing pants?” He scolded you, looking directly at your strawberry patterned panties.

“Uhh- Huh?” You looked down before realizing you weren’t wearing pants. “O-oh! Ahh! Sorry, sorry!” You panicked as you turned around to try and look for pants, slightly bending over. Your ass was now exposed to the two boys you loved the most, unknowingly making both of their pants stretch.

“My hope, you don’t need to worry about those!” Nagito pushed past Rantaro, you turned around and looked at him with a puzzled expression. “In fact, you don’t need to worry about clothes at all!” He grinned widely, you confusedly looked over to Rantaro to explain. “You just had to ruin the mood.”

Rantaro glared at the hope-crazed man, rolling his eyes as he continued, “Listen s/o, w-we both like you and we were wondering if... I don’t know, if we could share you?” He looked at his shoes, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. You looked at him with a dumbfounded expression, before realizing what had just happened.

“..Like me? Oh. Oh! Haha, you almost caught me there...! Funny. That was a pretty shitty joke though to be hones-” Rantaro sighed as he grabbed your face and kissed you. Your eyes open and shut as you grabbed onto his shoulders.

Your breathing quickened and your arousal pooled underneath your cunt. Nagito was already getting hot and heavy from watching the two of you make out. Rantaro slowly backed you up until the back of your knees hit your bed, making you fall back onto the bed. Rantaro unwillingly let go of your lips, “Komaeda-” He breathed out, “Your turn.”

Komaeda’s eyes widened as he was called, “Ah.. Is trash like me really even worthy of touching a deity such as s/o-” “J-just shut up and kiss me, please?” You beckoned him towards you, breathing uneven. He quickly complied to your demand, on his knees in front of your spot on the bed.

Before leaning in however, he was still unsure if you truly wanted to do this, to do this with trash like him. So to confirm your consent he asked, “Is this okay?” He wanted to make sure you were comfortable, this being your first time after all. “Y-yes.”

You looked up at him with need in your eyes, pressing your thighs together from the anticipation. “Please.” He slowly leaned into you and kissed you gently, giggling softly at the sensation of your lips. He eagerly kissed your lips before he pulled away,

“I can’t believe I-I’m actually kissing you! Just my luck, huh?” he smiled down at your flustered, vulnerable state. His kisses continued to overwhelm your senses, trailing down from your lips to your neck and collarbone. Leaving small love bites, provoking you to let out his favourite noises.

You almost forgot about Rantaro until you felt a warm body slip underneath you, moving you into their lap. “Don’t forget about me, angel.” He breathed out a shaky sigh as he felt you squirm on top of his groin. He bit down on your shoulder as Nagito moved his focus to your breasts.

He hastily threw off the article of clothing preventing his access to your chest, and latched his mouth onto your nipple. “No bra? Just my luck.” Komaeda chuckled darkly against your skin, a new found dominance laced within his words.

You whimpered at the dominance emitting from him, clenching your thighs together eagerly. Rantaro slid his arm around your torso to cup one of your breasts, massaging it as he gave you another hickey on your shoulder. You let your hand snake between your legs whilst the two were focused on your neck and breasts.

You attempted to relieve yourself from the pulsing of your pussy, but before you could even brush your fingers against your clit, Rantaro stopped you. He gripped your wrist and laughed at your desperation. “Would you like me to help relieve you?” He asked, replacing your hand with his. You peeped as you felt his finger tips graze against your clothed pussy.

Seeing you so needy for your pussy to be touched, Nagito shifted his attention to the main course in between your legs. Rantaro took of your panties with one hand and gropped your breast with the other, “Mm...!” you moaned at the feeling of your glistening cunt being exposed to the air. Nagito watched as your pussy twitched in awe, wanting nothing more than to just dive in.

But his needs were unimportant, for he wanted you to enjoy this experience to the fullest. Which meant he had to hold back a little. “Rantaro, let’s switch.” feeling as though he indulged in your pussy enough, switching his attention back to your breasts.

Komaeda set himself underneath you, as Rantaro moved in between your legs, gripping the sides of your hips. Rantaro stared at your clenching pussy for a few moments, wanting to keep this image locked forever in his mind.

You whined impatiently, wanting nothing more than his mouth on your clit. “P-Please! Please Rantaro, I need it so bad!” You looked down at him between your legs, the sight making you want to cum right then and there.

Rantaro kissed your clit, causing you to let out a pleasured gasp. Your body stiffened up at the pleasure, Nagito kissed your neck to help you relax into it while Rantaro latched his mouth onto the small bundle of nerves.

Sucking on to it and letting go slowly, altering the pressure with his mouth, repeating this process until your legs were shaking from the stimulation. “Shit! g-good, it feels so fucking good.” You sighed out. Proud of his influence on you, he sucked a bit harder against your clit, making you tense up and let out a high pitched whine.

“Please! M-more..! Sh-shit!” He licked in between your folds, collecting your arousal on his tongue. Said action, urged out a low moan from you. While you were focused on the pleasure between your legs you could also feel Nagito’s bulge underneath you, grinding against your ass.

The sensation of Rantaro playing with your clit combined with Nagito’s bulge grinding on to you, felt overwhelming. You felt as if you were going to combust. A pit formed itself in your stomach, “Ranta- Nagi- I-It feels fun- NGhn -ny! F-fuck!”

You managed to sob out, you couldn’t speak properly from the pleasure building up, “Nagito, you finish her off.” You panted as you watched the boys switch positions. “Ple-please keep going! I-i think i’m almost there..!” Nagito quickly dived in your pussy, his tongue exploring your vulva.

“Shi-Ah!” You moaned out particularly loud when Nagito curled his tongue inwards, scraping your walls. Tears welled up in your eyes as you felt yourself slowly being pushed off the edge. All it took was a small flick of Nagito’s tongue on your clit and Rantaro’s teeth on your neck, and you completely lost yourself.

You screamed out in overwhelming pleasure as you felt your climax washing over you like a tidal wave. “fuckfuckfuckfuckhhohmygod- hhaah..!” Nagito helped you ride out your high, happily licking up your juices. Nagito let go of you once he noticed you starting to get overstimulated. Seeing as this was your first time, he decided it wouldn’t be best to let you experience that just yet.

Rantaro kissed your shoulder and Nagito kissed your thighs before getting up from his knees and laying next to you. You were sandwiched between the two, Rantaro holding you, whilst you held Nagito. Rantaro kissed the back of your head, squeezing you gently. “You did so well baby, did it feel good?”

Rantaro hummed against your ear, kissing that as well. You nodded as you tightened your grip against Nagito, closing your eyes. “...I love you, my hope.” Nagito took your hand that was wrapped around his waist up to his lips. Leaving a chaste kiss on your knuckles.

UKGBJHFJVNMF im sorry if it seemed a bit rushed or if it seemed like it was missing a few things, like i said, im still kinda new to writing smut but i still hope it wasn’t too bad! thank you for reading :)

-mod chia

#nagito komaeda #sdr2 komaeda #nagito imagines #rantaro imagines #danganronpa imagines #notsfw #danganronpa oneshot #danganronpa fluff #super danganronpa 2 #killing harmony #danganronpa v3 #nagito x reader x rantaro #nagito x reader #rantaro amami #rantaro x reader #rantaro x reader smut #nagito x reader smut #danganronpa smut #mod chia

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miyaniacs · 4 years

Note

Hey!! I think this is an emergency request? But I was wondering if you could do an x reader in which she has an ED and self harms with Yamaguchi, Oikawa and Akaashi? If the topic makes you uncomfortable, could you just do fluff with those three? I’ve been feeling terrible lately and I need comfort like this rn this would mean a lot to me thank u :) i don’t wanna feel like im pressuring u into anything so if you don’t feel comfortable writing this it’s totally fine!!! Thank you :D

Hiiii :)

Sorry it took so long - I was really sleeping in & needed to finish an Assignment that’s due to tomorrow 💀 also... I'm sorry I just did Yams and Oikawa... I really wanted to do Akaashi, because he’d just be perfect on how he’d act in this situation... but I just couldn't get myself to write for one more rn... and I want to post it for you.. I can still make one for Akaashi another day, just sent in another request baby ❤️🥺

ALSO my messages are open love, I know how you feel so hit me up if you wanna talk 🥺

Ok so just a Little disclaimer - it could happen that I’ll write some personal experiences/ thoughts since I think I had an ED / developed one (but kinda stopped it getting worse ) and it still pops up here and there ( actually just last week ) - like I never been diagnosed but still I’m pretty sure lol

Also idk what kind of ED you got BUT I belive it’s probably under eating / binge eating so I mainly include those

masterlist

Warnings : mentions of selfharm & ED

HC s/o with an ED and Self harms

Yamaguchi

alright ... so ....... you stayed over at his the night

You two made dinner and it was all prefect

You quickly went to the bathroom afterwards tho

Then you came back and helped him cleaning up the dishes

He was joking around and you laugh and push up your sleeves and start cleaning

Yams suddenly stops laughing and just stares at you

“Yams? what's -” you stop and realise what you just did

Today was such a good day, you totally forgot about your breakdown last night, after failing to do any of the things you were supposed to do that day and stepping on the scale realising you gained weight.

“ I- I - can... Can we just forget you saw this?” you stutter and pull down your selves again

Obviously he won't just forget it

he gently takes one of your hands and leads you to the living room and sits down on the couch with you

“Why?” he whispers

you just stare at him, unsure if you can tell him the real reason

after a few minutes of silence you begin to talk

you tell him everything

the second you start talking you can’t stop

the words spill out of your mouth, happy that you can finally get all those toxic thoughts out of your head

Tears start streaming down your face while you tell him you’re feeling not good enough, like a failure, like you're trying to loose weight and developed an ed, yet you’re still to stupid to loose any weight etc so you just feel like you have to ... like punish yourself?

Yams listens to you carefully and with every word his eyes get more and more glassy

after you finished talking, he pulls you into the tightest hug ever

“baby... why haven't you told me, I'm always here for you, you shouldn't deal with all of this alone”

sooo you stay in this position for a little longer, you both trying to calm down and stop crying

“Now... let me tell you - I will keep on telling you this over and over again, every single day of my life if I have to - you are enough, you are perfect in my eyes, you don’t have to loose any weight, but if you want to, then do it in a healthy way... I willing to help you in any way possible.” He takes your hands and moves them up to his face, kissing your knuckles

the rest of the night, you cuddle, him trying to confound every toxic thought you have

he also gifts you a soft hair tie and makes you promise him, that you would use this, instead of hurting yourself

his phone is also from now on not silent anymore in case you need someone to talk to at night

the next weeks, he’s getting up earlier, making you some healthy, low calorie lunch so you don’t have to feel pressured to eat in the cafeteria and feel the need to throw up again afterwards. He’ll also tries to increase the cals, every other week.

Oikawa

He probably realises that something is up, the second his stupid ass walks into the bathroom when you just got out of the shower

It’s winter so you always wore sweatshirts and those cute wide leg pants

also you haven't been feeling good the past weeks, so there wasn't really a chance for Oikawa to see you in tight clothing or well ... no clothing at all.

so when he saw you for this small second just now, his heart drops

he just stands there shocked, tears already running down his face, not moving a muscle

“Y/N... I - since when - Why - I- “ he stutters not able to find the right words

You stood still, towel in your hands, shocked expression on your face

this is like your worst nightmare, he shouldn't see this, at least not now, not like this

“Tooru, I can explain...” you stutter and look down at the ground

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to ... I just.. can I hold you?” He whispers in between small snobs

you nod and he takes a set forward, carefully placing his arms around you, now afraid he could hurt you or break you

He doesn't feel your soft curves anymore, his fingers are now met with the little bumps of your rips

You hide your face in his neck and start crying

the snobs make your body shake, which made him feel your bones move under his hands - which results in him crying even more

“You’re just so perfect and I'm just me... all those beautiful girls who fall for you, with their skinny legs and waist, looking so delicate... I didn’t want you to be ashamed of me...”

how couldn’t he notice? WHY haven't he? HE could NEVER be ashamed of you NEVER

WHY was he so busy with Volleyball? he should have noticed that you weren't eating.. but he always thought you’ve eaten before...

after you calmed down, he takes the towel and helps you getting dry, his eyes always stuck to small red lines on your legs, right under your hips

he walks over to where you kept your medics and all the first aid stuff and started treating your wounds

He takes off his hoodie and puts it over your head and picks you up bridal style, carrying you to the bed

He puts you down and quickly hurries to the kitchen and makes some tea for you

You’re now seated in between his legs, your back resting on his chest while his arms are wrapped around you, rocking you from side to side, while you two watch some Disney movies

after you finally fall asleep he takes out his phone and reads all the articles on the internet about self harming and ed’s.

He makes a note on his phone where he writes down all the things he could do to help you, and all the little signs so he knew when one of your conditions gets worse again

he makes sure that from now on, you two eat at least one meal together

he’s always encouraging you, if you feel like not eating, he begs you to at least eat one small bite, if you feel like eating the whole salad, girl, he’s hyping you up so much

he sees that you gained some weight?

omg be prepared for a full week of him praising you of how beautiful you are, hyping you up, etc

and GODDD IF YOU NEED NEW CLOTHES BECAUSE YOUR OLD ONES DON’T FIT ANYMORE SINCE YOU GAINED WEIGHT

he is spoiling you to the Max

he is willing to fly you to London, Paris, La, etc so you get the best clothes available

some small things he also do is : form that one night on, every day, he sends you a voice note of him telling you how amazing you are, how much he loves you, and lists at least 10 things why he loves you and why he’s proud of you - so from now on, before you grab that one small blade, you listen to this voice note and if that doesn't help, you only need to text him 🆘 and he’s already faceting you, dropping everything he was doing and getting to your house asap

also he’s probably trying to get you into working out with him, so he can control that you don’t overwork yourself and helps you gaining more muscles again and tells you about the benefits of weight lifting, since muscles burn calories while doing nothing at all, YET they need top be feed to remain

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa headcanons #oikawa imagine #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi imagine

128 notes · View notes

wakatoshine · 3 years

Text

OF ROYALTY, POINTE SHOES, AND COUNTRY BOYS (kita x reader)

14: interhigh qualifiers: finals edition!

make sure to pay attention to when the texts stop and the written portions begin!

read more on this one since it’s a bit longer

i didn’t hold back on this one pls like it!!!

“hey shin,” your hushed voice rang through the line, “sorry for trying to call you this morning.”

you paused, who knew leaving a simple voicemail would be so difficult.

“um, i know you’re probably sleeping right now but i kinda need to say a few things that i didnt want to say over text,”

you paused, pressing your phone closer to your face as you search for your aoba johsai tracksuit among the discarded articles of clothing on the floor.

“i’m really scared for today, i hid it from the team since i know they’re really stressed out about it too. t’s not like i could say anything anyway, haji would get upset that i’m upset, god knows what tooru is going through right now, and talking it out with makki and mattsun would probably be awkward,”

you sighed

“but i’m really comfortable saying this to you even if it’s a recorded message,”

another heavy pause

“it’s just really hard never winning. we have such a good team, always have had one. but it’s just never enough. we’ve came second in every tournament and i’m just so tired” your voice hitched a bit at the last part.

“it’s always the same cycle, practice and improve, and then fall back down. i’m just tired of comforting everyone when we do obviously deserve to win,” you say, “not saying shiratorizawa doesn’t deserve it because they work hard too,” you added.

you look up at the clock over your door and slip your gym shoes on.

“anyway, sorry about dropping this on you. i just wanted to talk to someone who’d listen,” you stated with a small smile, “bye shin.”

your thumb pressed the end call button and you stepped out on the porch as close to ready as you’d ever be.

kita picked up on the second ring.

“hey,” you whispered and his heart almost broke right then.

to be quite honest, you looked like shit. you had oikawa’s track jacket on (he could tell since you were practically drowning in it), your eyes were swollen and red from crying, and your cheeks were crusted from the tears that weren’t still falling.

kita still thought you were beautiful, but he was more concerned about your well-being than his own surface attraction to you.

“talk to me,” was all he could get out.

“shin it hurts so much,” you said, shoulders shaking as you sobbed, “i just keep thinking about what i could’ve done better. i could’ve encouraged them more, taken better stats, helped make better-“

“hey stop that,” kita interrupted, his eyebrows furrowing in thought as you looked at him with big doe eyes.

“remember what i said about my team motto?” he asked.

you nodded with an added sniffle.

“i said that ya need to leave yer losses behind. don’t forget them, but use them to move on and learn how to be better.” he said.

you were silent, so kita continued.

“ya can keep blamin yerself and asking what if, but yer not gonna get anythin outta it,”

you nodded and tried your best to smile, “thanks shin. i think that’s the best thing you could have told me.”

kita hummed in response and the two of you sat in comfortable silence for a bit.

after a few minutes you closed your eyes with a sigh. kita took the moment to study your face. he studied the way your lips were slightly parted, the way way your hair framed your face, and the way your lashes fluttered before your eyes opened back up and gazed into his own chocolate ones.

“hey shin?” you asked and this time kita’s heart began to race and heat rose to his cheeks (much to his dislike). he quite liked when you used his nickname.

“hmm?”

“can you tell me a story?” you asked.

“yeah,” he answered, anything for you he thought.

kita looked around before standing (with his phone of course so you could come along) and walking out of his room into the dimly lit hallway.

“gran?” he called.

your face flushed. kita shinsuke was too sweet for even your aching heart.

“yes shin chan?” a sweet voice that was completely foreign to you echoed through the kita residence.

“do ya still have those stories ya used to read me when i was a kid?” you heard him ask.

“yes hun, i’ll take some of ‘em to yer room okay? go back to talkin to that pretty lady friend of yers.” his granny responded, causing you to flush immediately.

you were pleasantly surprised to see that kita had turned red as well.

“i’m sorry she called ya that y/n,” kita apologized, “i told her about ya earlier and she is so eager to get to know ya,”

you giggled “there’s no need to apologize, i know i’m quite beautiful,”

“you are,” kita swallowed, “i think yer very beautiful,”

“you really think so?” you asked.

at that moment the distance between the two of you was too much. kita wanted nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and hold you until day break.

but he had to settle for this instead.

“yeah i think yer beautiful, y/n. i wouldn’t lie to ya,” he said in complete honesty.

you blushed and turned away from the phone, causing kita to laugh at you.

“don’t ya get shy on me now, i still have to tell ya a story,” kita said.

kita’s granny opened the door to kitas room a moment later and handed him an old copy of the little red riding rood.

you had waved at her before she left. she had smiled at you, saying that you were much prettier than kita had described.

you have never seen kita more flustered than in that moment.

twenty minutes passed and you were completely entranced by the way kita read to you. of course you’ve heard the story before, many times in fact, but the way kita read made you want to reach out and grasp every single word he let out.

you were sad when he concluded with a “the end” and gently closed the book shut.

kita grabbed his phone from where it was propped up on his night stand and moved it closer to his face so he could see you clearly.

he was happy to see that you had stopped crying awhile ago.

you were in a very cute position. you were curled up with your knees to your chest and your face was nuzzled up into the pillow with your eyes closed.

(unbeknownst to him, you had been imagining you were cuddled up against his chest instead.)

“are ya still there sleepyhead?” kita teased.

“i’m here shin,” you replied groggily.

“just makin sure,” kita said.

then something happened. kita had the best idea to ever come up in his head to date.

“hey y/n, remember when ya came over here and were our manager for a week?” he asked.

you scoffed, “of course i do shin! who do you take me for?”

kita smiled at your cheeky response. he momentarily forgot how to talk and he felt himself heat up as you looked at him curiously.

“well what if ya were our actin manager durin nationals? coach loved ya and so did the rest of the team, akagi would be happy, and i’d be able to see-“

you laughed, “okay shin you can stop rambling now,”

he looked at you with wide brown eyes.

“of course i’ll do it. i would never pass up a chance to see you,” you said, pink dusting your cheeks as you looked away from the camera.

kita’s heart has never been more full than it was in that moment.

alright that’s it for this one. i hope the written portion was fine! things will be happening faster from here on out since we are over halfway through the fic (maybe). im still not sure where i want to end this, so it could be 5 more chapters or it could be 20. you never know.

next.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #kita shinsuke x reader #inarizaki #aoba johsai #seijoh #haikyuu x reader smau

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whootwhoot · 3 years

Text

»»—— 𝘛𝘛𝘛𝘊 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 2: "𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘴" ——««

Akaashi Keiji x Fem! Reader

author’s notes: holy shit im so sorry for the not posting in such a long time ;-; i had stuff i needed to clean up + i was lazy- anyways this is the second chapter for my first long fic “Third Times The Charm” sorry for the delay ^^ compared to the previous one this one involves more conversations since im not good at writing movements lmAO enjoy uwu

☕ synopsis: Iwaizumi Y/n, a student who goes to Aoba Johsai as well as the second year manager for the school’s male volleyball team. What happens when she sets eyes on the cute setter from Fukurodani?

[ CHAPTER 2 - First texts ]

“Oh shit.”

Your phone screen fades to black as you sit there biting your lip. Baffled by how stupid you were, you slam your face into the pillow next to you.

“You had one chance, one chance and you did what? You forgot about it, your stupid brain forgot about it. Are you kidding me?”

You let out a loud groan as you sit back up, the bed sheet wrinkles while you release that breath of air you’ve been holding. Your hands wandered around your phone’s keyboard, too nervous to reply but too anxious not to.

Akaashi seems like a genuine guy, he doesn’t show off or boast about himself. He’s just always there, the way he smiles when he successfully makes a perfect set, the way his delicate hands toss the ball, his eyes only focusing on you…

“Y/n! Get a grip! What are you even thinking?!” a couple more groans and turns on your bed and you are more awake than before.

Honestly you never expected a reply from him at all. Sure, the idea of that crossed your mind, maybe more than several times but the thought of it actually happening? There’s no way.

“It’s like my brain short circuited somehow.” you whisper while sitting up, leaning against the headboard of your mattress.

Maybe the impression of you from your previous lover affected you more than you want to admit. “You’re annoying.” “Undeserving of love.” “No one can even stand a clingy person like you.”

Your vision turns blurry as you feel cold tears gently running down your face. You wipe them away, hoping to erase the emotions bubbling up inside of you away too.

The insecurities you try to push away seem to have formed a wall, a never ending wall that just stacks higher and higher. Just when you thought you have gotten over it, the tiniest shard of the most fragile moment can make you fall back down again.

The creaking sound of your room door makes you jump as your brother peeks his head inside your room.

“Haji? It’s 2am you, you should be sleeping!”

“You didn’t close the lights in your room so I thought I’d check up on you.”

“Your eyes look reddish, are you okay?”

You lift your shoulders in a shrug, Hajime comes into your room and stands right in front of you and folds his arms.

“Is this the older brother's lecturing time?” you ask while raising your eyebrow

“And for the record, I’m fine. You don’t have to-”

“I think I do.” Hajime stares at you intensely

“You should've gotten over that jerk ages ago.”

“I know, I know” you release your breath and repeat the sentence he once told you “The first love cuts the deepest, but not every cut leaves a scar.”

“And?”

“Well, I don’t know but just… what makes you think I deserve love?”

“Iwaizumi Y/n, you are my sister. No one knows you better than I-”

“DOUBT! THERE’S NO WA-.”

“SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH.”

You laugh in amusement while Hajime licks his lips as his mouth forms a small smile.

“Ok but the point is, you’ll find someone who’ll love you as much as you love them eventually. No one in the world is undeserving of love.”

You rest your chin on your palm while eyeing and slyly grinning towards your brother.

“Eww since when have you learned to be so cheesy?”

“It’s called quality love advice, you should try them sometime.”

“YOU DUMBASS”

He ducks just in time to avoid the pillow you flung at him.

“Stop yelling or the neighbours are going to hear you!”

He continues to laugh while rushing to the door. He stands at your door and gestures his hand at the light switch.

You grab your blanket and nod your head while laying down, the bed softly creaking causing him to chuckle. Hajime closes the lights and leaves your room quietly.

His warm words hang around in the cold room as you slowly drift off to sleep.

“Thanks Haiji-nisan.”

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

Hello, it’s me 😓

The girl who was randomly texting you last night

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

No reply

You furiously type on your phone while staring at the screen intensely in hopes that he sees your messages.

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

I forgot about that photo 😓 😓 , I'm sorry if it seemed weird or uh rude

And uh i just hope that maybe we can get to know each other

Unknown:

Okay.

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

Okaayyy he replied, so that’s a good sign… right?

Biting your lips, you place your thumb on the phone to prevent the screen from fading and eventually closing.

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

Soooooooo I’m Iwaizumi Y/n 😇 😇

Unknown:

Akaashi Keiji.

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

“God damn it, he’s such a conversation killer.” you mumble under your breath

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

I’m from Aoba Johsai!!

Akaashi:

You’re the spikers younger sister? Iwaizumi?

Y/n:

Well duh 😂

Where are you from?

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

You ran your hand through your hair, cringing at how hard you're trying.

Maybe you could just tell him, you know like “Hey hot stuff, I think you attracted me with your stunning good looks so I want to date you.” you mock while pointing finger guns at the mirror.

Just then, the familiar ringtone of your phone notification rings and you scramble to see who it was.

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

El is best girl:

Heyyyyy, you got the text yet?

Y/n:

Yeah

El is best girl:

Daaaaaaamn I take it you're disappointed that it wasn't him who appeared on your notification? 😔 😔

Y/n:

NO NO NO OF COURSE NOT

I love texting you 😘

El is best girl:

Awhh save it lmAO

Did you text him back?

Y/n:

😤 He’s not giving anything to work with here

El is best girl:

Pshhh I mean just ask him how his day was or like

At least try to keep the conversation going

Y/n:

I'M TRYING

LIKE 😩

REALLY HARD HERE

El is best girl:

lmAoOOOO

Y/n:

HOLD UP HE JUST TEXTED ME

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

You hurriedly press into your chat with Akaashi

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Akaashi:

I’m from Fukurodani.

Y/n:

Isn’t that just a few minutes away from my school 😮 ?

Akaashi:

I think so.

Y/n:

Cool

Anyways

Um how was your day?

“Akaashi is typing”

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

“I can’t decide if he’s typing really slow or he’s sending a long text…” You decide to place your phone down and doodle on your papers while waiting for his reply.

----

“Bokuto-san, she asked me how my day went.”

“Don’t reply to her anymore! Let her wait for you to text back, it builds a sense of mystery.”

Bokuto suggests while winking.

“Bokuto-san it’s not really nice to leave people on read.”

“Akaashi, I’m the ladies man, listen to me and your love life this time wouldn’t end like the last two.”

Akaashi can’t help but grin at his confident “wingman”, it’s no secret his past relationships were… well not that good, but to ask for Bokuto for help?

“But-”

“Hey you were the one who asked for help when a girl texted you.” “Plus, didn’t you find her cute too? The short girl manager watched our match at camp.”

“What?”

“You were staring when she wasn’t looking, and after the first time you saw her from the bus you were trying to get to know which school bus it was.”

Akaashi’s jaw almost drops at his friend's observant nature that he didn’t know existed, apparently when it comes to love Bokuto isn’t as… well, dumb, as he seems. He tries to form words to deny Bokuto’s accusation but he can’t seem to find a reason to do so.

“Also just play hard to get, girls love a challenge.”

“...” “Maybe I’ll wait a little longer before I reply to her.”

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

Um Akaashi? 😅

Uh 😅 😅

You know, if you’re not interested in talking to me you could’ve just said so

Akaashi:

Sorry I was busy, I had volleyball practice.

Y/n:

OH I’M SO SORRY

I didn’t know you have practice on weekends ;-;

Akaashi:

It’s all right.

Y/n:

Anyways how’s practice^^ was it fun?

Akaashi:

Yeah, it was like usual.

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

“HE’S” “SUCH” “A” “DRY” “TEXTER” “AAAAAAAAAAAA”

You scream inside your head while holding yourself back from banging your head on the table.

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

Y/n:

Do you think we can maybe, meet up? 👉 👈

Uh 😶

Akaashi:

Date?

Y/n:

NO NO 😲

I mean we never met of course not haahahahaha

Akaashi:

Meeting up just to get to know each other then?

Y/n:

Ah yes that’s it, like a gathering

If you don’t mind

Akaashi:

I’ll see if I’m available.

Y/n:

Cool! Is next Sunday fine?

Akaashi:

We’ll see.

Y/n:

...

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

----

╔═════ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ══════╗

El is best girl:

Wowww playing hard to get huh

He sure is a tricky one

Y/n:

I don’t think I like where this is going

El is best girl:

It lowkey kinda ruins the impression you have of him huh

Ah well

It’s probably his first time or something

Have a little hope 😔

Y/n:

Well

I have one week to prepare

HAVE FAITH 😍 😍

El is best girl:

Hell yeah

Any thoughts on where you’re taking him

If you don’t I mayyyyy have suggestionsssssssss

AHHAAHAHAHAHA

Y/n:

God damn it El

We’ll just be talking okay

I do have a place in mind though

El is best girl:

Go on

Y/n:

You know the ice cream shop? At the street?

El to is best girl:

Ohh an ice cream shop

Very intriguing 🥺

Don’t tell me it’s because of that article

Y/n:

I mean

El is best girl:

LMAO you

You seriously believe you can tell someone’s personality by their favourite ice cream flavour?

Grow a brain Y/n

Y/n:

You’re one to talk 🙄 🙄

Anyways I’m off to prepare dinner for tonight

El is best girl:

Owh Iwaizumi-kun teaching you to cook again

Let’s hope you don’t bring the kitchen down with you okay dear

Y/n:

Sometimes I wonder how we’re friends

El is best girl:

Nah it’s simple really

You looooooooove me uwu

Y/n:

Go away

El is best girl:

😳 😳 😳

╚═════ ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘ ══════╝

- end of chapter 2 -

« masterlist / previous / next »

(author’s end notes: i hope yall enjoyed this lmAO its pretty long ^^ anyways im writing their texts from y/n’s POV so the nicknames she gives her contacts might change owo)

#haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #iwaizumi scenario #iwaizumi hcs #haikyuu x y/n #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji fic #akaashi imagine #akaashi keiji #hajime iwaizumi #akaashi fluff #akaashi fanfiction #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuucreations

24 notes · View notes

horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope this isnt too much and that youre still enjoying this story! its almost over tho, so if you have any request please send them asap! I have a few more chapters planned but I could always add a few filler chapters if you guys send me ideas. so yea, thank you!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : here are the requests i used. im sorry about the Julia one, they couldnt have a very big and deep talk because it was Liv’s chapter but I still wanted to add her in because i really like her :) hope its okay!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 40 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 7th, 2018

It was quite late but we were both packing our things in silence. I had waited last minute to do it while Niall had to wait until he was back from his concert, which resulted in us doing it together. I missed going to see him play and sing and the thought made something stir in my stomach. I couldn't believe I stopped myself from going to see him do what he loved the most to do in the entire universe just because I was scared of what some losers could write in an online article. The more I thought about it, the more I found that completely ridiculous. I was about to mention something about it when I heard Niall talk, breaking the silence.

"Oh, I totally forgot to give you that." He leaned closer to me and handed me a small box that was wrapped in pretty pink paper. I frowned but took it in my hand anyway as he shrugged. "A fan told me to give it to you. Apparently, she was really sad when we broke up."

I stared at the small box on y hand and licked my lips. I knew most of it were just rumors, but I also knew that some people believe everything they'd read online. Still, this time, I couldn't blame them since it was the truth. I quickly unwrapped it and grabbed the note first, reading it out loud.

"We thought Niall was the biggest One Direction fan in the world, but we've seen you multiple times with random One Direction merch and we thought you may enjoy this."

I frowned more but when I saw the necklace, I let out a louder laughter. It made Niall frown too and I looked up at him with a smirk, bringing my hand closer to him. Around my fingers was hanging a necklace with his face on it. It seemed to be very old merch, probably from 2011, and I saw him grimace.

"No, Liv!" he whined as I put it around my neck and I chuckled again.

"Hey, it's a gift!" I argued. "Besides, I didn't have this one. I love it."

"You're such a pain." he joked, making me laugh this time.

I didn't see it coming but he literally jumped on me and I fell on the bed with a high scream. He pinned me down and started tickling me, holding both my wrists with one hands as the fingers of the other squeezed my waist, making my body jerk.

"Noooo! Niall stop!"

I squirmed, kicking him and hitting him without really knowing or controlling what I was doing. It took him a few seconds to stop and he stared down at me with a smirk as my lips were parted. I was panting low, not even able to enjoy his body on top of mine.

"Please, let me wear the necklace." I almost begged in a low voice.

His eyes roamed on me for about a minute and finally, the left corner of his lips raised up and he nodded once before moving closer to kiss me.

I had decided to follow him in Spain even if I had no idea when I'd have to fly back to California. We still had a few episodes to film but I was hoping Niall could come with me. He only had a few concerts left before he'd be off for a few weeks and even if he had to fly to the UK at the end of the month, I was thinking he could spend almost two weeks with me. I knew all we did was live in our luggage, going from airports to airports but at the same time, we were together and it's really all that mattered to me.

His lips moving slowly against mine made my heart twist in my chest. I loved him so much, I always would and I knew it. I was starting to trust him again, so much that the tiny ball of fear that seemed to live permanently in my stomach was now gone. I had decided that I wanted to live this plenty, to not hold grudges of fears that came from our past. I wanted to move forward and I knew that we had both changed for the better.

May 8th, 2018

We woke up early to catch our flight and I put my sunglasses on because I knew I looked exhausted. They were heart shaped but were black instead of my usual pink or purple ones for the simple reason I thought it would be less obvious to the people around that I had puffy and tired eyes. I didn't mean travelling if it meant being with Niall, but that didn't mean it was it wasn't sucking up all my juice.

I didn't expect the airport to be crowded but it was, and I moved my head down, trying not to catch anyone's attention. The fans started screaming, the paps started yelling at Niall to look their way, and when one of them moved too close to us, I felt my heart jump in my chest and without thinking, I grabbed Niall's hand. I realized my mistake and quickly let go of it only to feel his fingers tighten around mine. I could swear the flashes became even more intense right after and I glanced at Niall, licking my lips as I heard similar questions being yelled around us.

"Are you two back together?"

"Did you cheat on Dylan and Heidi together?"

"Are all the rumors true?"

We both held each other's hand tighter at the sound of all these questions being thrown at us and we kept walking as they followed us. I could feel my heart beat so hard in my chest that I felt like it was about to escape. I swallowed hard trying to relax a bit as I kept glancing at my boyfriend.

"Does that mean we're official?" Niall asked me, squeezing my fingers even more after he stopped walking, and moved closer to make sure I was the only one who heard.

I turned his way and licked my lips, trying to ignore the flashes and the sounds of the cameras. I was not used to that much attention, or at least, not as intense as it was being at that moment, but even if it was a bit intimidating, I was not scared.

"Do you want us to be?"

His gaze moved on my face as he studied me before sending me a fond smile. "Yes, I do."

I sent him a gentle smile that turned into a very big one. "We're official then."

"Fuck yes." he whispered, making me chuckle.

He pulled on my hand and we started walking again but as we were about to pass the gate, he quickly and roughly moved our hands up to show our intertwined fingers and it surprised me so much I felt my heart skip a few beats.

"FUCK YES!" he repeated in a yell, making me burst into laughter this time.

If I wasn't sure Niall loved me, I definitely was now. The fact that he literally told the world we were together proved much more than anyone could believe. I knew he was private, and so was I. I also knew he didn't like his private life to be in the spotlight, or talked about, or known, and him showing everyone, fans and paps included, that we were an item by throwing our hands up just showed me how committed he was. People would talk about us and the wrong things we did to Dylan and Heidi, people would definitely criticize us as individuals but also as a couple and I knew that for a while, people would stop talking about his music and my tv show only to blab shit about our love, but he thought it was still worth it and even if I was a bit surprised, it touched me more than I thought it would. And just like that, the blinded trust I had for Niall until he broke up with me was back, and I knew that this time, it would be different.

---

We took a nap when we arrived at the hotel and when I woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and Niall's arm was wrapped around me as he was laying on his stomach. I ran my fingertips on his arm and reached his back, making him groan slightly. He looked so good, his eyes closed, his bottom lip a bit over his upper one in a cute pout and his hair a bit messy. It made something come alive inside me and I realized that we went through so many things to get back pretty much where we used to be. The difference was us and the way we had grown, and I knew that what we lived when we were away from each other was needed to have the relationship we had at that very moment.

I tried not to wake him up and sat up slowly and gently in bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning before grabbing my phone. I knew he didn't want me to but I searched for his name and mine in google and a bunch of pictures from the airport appeared. My lips curled more at the picture of us walking away while Niall held our hands up together. I stared at it for a few minutes and pressed my lips together, feeling suddenly ecstatic and a bit dizzy. It was really happening. I was back with Niall and we were happy together. In all the months we were apart, I had wished for it, but I never thought it would really happen at some point.

"What are you looking at?" he mumbled low, taking me out of my thoughts. "You're smiling."

I turned to him and my excited smile turned into a fond one. His eyes were half-closed and his face was still pressed on the pillow. In fact, I was pretty sure he hadn't moved at all and looking at him made something stir in my stomach. There was nothing I loved more than waking up with him, except maybe falling asleep in his arms.

I tilted my head and let the left corner of my lips raise up before turning the screen his way. It took him a few seconds to let what he was seeing sink in and he smiled too.

"Oh look, that's us telling the world we're back together." he pointed out slowly and in a low tone, an amused smile curling his lips. "I'm sorry, I'm never that impulsive normally. But I've been waiting for that for a while." He paused and I felt his arm hold my waist tighter before he squirmed a bit and put his head on my lap. "It's okay though, because this is meant to last, so everyone may as well know now. What do ya say?"

I brought my hand to his head and ran my fingers in his hair gently, making his eyes flutter. "I agree." I whispered, making him smile more.

"We're gonna get married and have a few kids. And dogs, too. I love dogs."

This time, I chuckled and licked my lips. He had mentioned marriage a few times in the past weeks and I loved it. He used to be so scared of commitment and the future and now he was literally planning it for us.

"You know what we should do now?" he asked, making me shake my head. "Stay in bed all day. Order food, watch tv, and make out. Champagne and you. That sounds perfect."

I smiled widely. "Gotta celebrate the fact that we're official, now."

"Damn right."

After a few hours, we were done eating and the bottle of champagne was empty. We were still laying in bed but I had stopped following the movie and kept staring at the ceiling. What took me out of my thoughts, once again, was Niall's voice. I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses, and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Mm?" I asked, making him laugh.

He stopped the movie quickly before grabbing the sheets of the bed, pulling them over our heads and once again locking us together in our safe place. I smiled at him and turned my body his way as he did the same. It was always a bit stifling to stay under the covers for a while but at the same time, it made me feel secure like nothing else did.

"How hard did that champagne hit?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Mm, i'm tipsy." I admitted, laughing too.

"Me too." he let out, his eyes roaming on my face. "You know I want to marry you for real, right? I want to promise to be yours forever. I want to literally show everyone that no one else will ever mean to me as much as you mean to me."

"I want it too. I want to be your wife. Niall I want it more than anything."

I felt my heart jump in my chest at my confession and we kept looking at each other for a few minutes in silence. He found my left hand and brought it up to his eyes level before running his thumb gently on my ring finger. I bit my bottom lip, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be his wife, and I swallowed hard, almost ashamed that I let my mind wonder so far.

"One day..." he just murmured before looking up in my eyes. "How many kids?"

"Five." I let out, making his eyebrows raise.

"Jesus Christ, do you want to kill me, woman?"

This time, I started laughing and he pulled me closer with a groan, letting his lips press against mine before pulling slightly away. I waited until he spoke again, my lips curling more and more with every passing seconds.

"You're not serious?" he just asked, making me laugh, this time.

"How many do you want?"

"Two, maybe three." he admitted before I kissed him again, sucking gently on his upper lip.

"Then two or three we'll have." I breathed out against his mouth as he held me closer.

"And we'll live in London, and keep a house in Cali, how's that?" he proposed in a murmur. "I'll bring you to Las Vegas to get married. We'll have the best honeymoon because I'll make you cum twenty times a day for a whole week."

I started laughing against his mouth and he smirked. "Where are we going for that?"

"Bali?" he suggested.

"Mm, don't tempt me." I joked as he laughed again, deepening the kiss and making me close my eyes. "What's on your mind, Horan?" I asked lower and more seriously.

"Well, how about we practice making those two-three kids now?" he offered, making me chuckle. "I really want to make love to my official girlfriend and future wife."

"Hey, I didn't say yes just yet." I joked as his lips traveled on my jaw and neck.

"But you will yea? You just accepted to be my official girlfriend so it's a good start. You'll be my wife and marry me?"

"If you want to spend your life with me, how can I say no to that?"

"That's what I thought." he just said, giving himself a swing and making me laugh even more as he got on top of me.

I spread my legs a bit as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and I groaned when I felt his hard dick press on my inner thighs. I was tired and still a bit tipsy but the way he whispered, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his body on top of mine... all of this was too good and I felt like I never had enough of him. Even after all this time, I wanted him as much as I used to, even more, probably, and the way he was all over me made me think he felt the same.

"I want to bury my cock so deep inside you right now." he whispered, bringing his mouth back on mine. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you so much, Olivia. You made me so happy today."

I reached for his boxers and pulled them down as much as I could, his words making my heart twist and jump in my chest. I didn't think Niall could love me as much as he seemed to, I didn't know he could want to be with me to the point where he would literally hold my hand and show everyone that we were together in a crowded airport. I had no idea he was waiting for this, I didn't know that it would make him react like that to be my official boyfriend. All of this made sense, of course, but it was just hitting me that Niall really loved me as much as I loved him and that he didn't want to lose me again.

"Please Niall, just do it." I begged him in a murmur, reaching between my legs and pulling my panties aside before grabbing his cock and lining it up.

His hip movement was slow and as he pushed himself inside me, I felt my eyes roll back and a moan escaped my lips. I moved my knees up as he lied on top of me, holding himself on his elbows as he started thrusting in and out of me slowly. It felt like torture but at the same time it was so good I moved my chin up, feeling his lips leave kisses on it.

"I love you, can't believe you're my girlfriend again." he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin.

"I was always yours, Niall. I've always been yours. Since I was 6 years old. I knew I belonged to you." I replied just as low and without thinking. "I was just scared you didn't belong to me"

He pushed himself deeper inside me and it felt so good I let out an other whimper. He remained still, waiting for my eyes to open again and meet his, and I felt one of his hands slip in my hair while the other moved a lock out of my eyes.

"I belong to you." he confessed, making a shiver run across my back. "All this soulmate shit? I believe in it now. I have to."

I bit my bottom lip, making him glance at my mouth before looking back in my eyes.

"I love you. I fucking love you." I had barely finished my sentence that he was pressing his mouth against mine again, this time fucking me harder and faster.

My back arched after a few minutes and I moaned in his mouth this time, right before his thrusts became unsteady and a bit sloppy. The orgasm felt amazing and I gripped his arms as I felt his muscles tighten. I pressed my thighs on each sides of him, pushing myself against him in motion with him as he came. Nothing felt better than that post orgasm feeling with Niall on top of me. His lips found mine and he kissed me slowly but deeply for a while until we both got down of our highs and even a little bit after.

"I'm so happy you followed me here." he admitted with a smile as I tilted my head on the pillow.

"Me too." I licked my lips and raised my eyebrows. "Are you gonna follow me back to Cali in a few days?"

"Nothing will stop me from going with you. Nothing."

He rolled off of me and I pushed the covers to breathe fresh air, just realizing that I needed it. Niall grabbed my hand and I focused back on him as he stared at my fingers, making me try to suppress the smile stuck on my lips.

"Please come to my show tomorrow." he just let out, his fingers brushing gently against mine, exactly where a wedding ring would be. "We're officially together now, so we don't care who sees you or what they see."

My heart skipped a beat and I licked my lips nervously. It would be a good start but it stressed me to think that people would start judging us even more, now that we were official. I knew Niall was not going to start kissing me or anything in public but I still felt nervous.

"Okay." I let out low feeling myself tear up. I swallowed my tears but I could see my boyfriend getting emotional too and I sniffed. "I love you Niall. I don't ever want to be away from you anymore."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I felt the warmth of his skin against mine as he moved closer to lean his forehead against mine.

"I'm never leaving again. I promise on my life. I'm here to stay. What we have will never die, okay?"

I nodded quickly and bit my bottom lip as I felt a tear run down my cheek. I could swear he was tearing up too and I pressed my parted lips against his. "Okay."

May 9th, 2018

I hadn't realize how much I had missed watching Niall sing and play. He was always the kid who was singing, dancing, or playing guitar when we were younger, and it always brought a bunch of people around him. He seemed so untouchable, even for me, who was his best friend. Now, with the literal crowds and album selling, it was even more obvious, but a lot less scary. The fact that I knew he loved me definitely helped but watching him do what he's always loved but this time, as a living, was just breathtaking. He was breathtaking.

I chuckled when he winked at me subtly and I rolled my eyes with a smile until I felt a hand on my arm. I jumped slightly and turned again to look at Julia who was smiling widely at me. I thought I knew what she was going to say but instead, she pulled me close into a tight hug. It took me a few seconds to answer it but when I did, she jumped a few times, bringing me with her, and finally pulled away.

"I saw the video!" she said happily, her lips curled into a bit grin.

"The video?"

"Of you two at the airport!"

I felt my cheeks turn a soft shade of red as they burned a bit and cleared my throat, looking away. I knew there were pictures but I was not aware someone was filming. Come to think about it, it was not surprising, after all. I felt two strong arms wrap around my neck from behind and I smiled immediately, recognizing the touch and the perfume. It was crazy how he still affected my moods but I could also see that I influenced his, and that made our relationship so much better.

"Niall!" he let go of me to hug Julia and I smiled, taking a step away. "I'm so happy for you! I knew it would happen! I told you you had to keep hope!"

Niall's eyes found mine and his smile faltered as his embrace around his friend loosened.

"I sort of... confided in Julia." he admitted, licking his lips as mine parted. "I know you wanted me to keep the secret, but I didn't know what to do, and I felt like shit... I needed to talk to someone."

He looked at me with fear in his eyes, as if I was going to turn on my heels and leave, but I just tilted my head on the side while staring at him.

"Hey, I understand. She's one of your closest friends." I pointed out with a shrug before sending him a smile. "I talk to Louis about almost everything." I shrugged again. "Besides, I like her."

Julia smiled more and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to them to hug both of us at the same time. I laughed and after a few seconds, she pulled away and smiled again.

"I'll wait for you guys backstage. We're going to celebrate right?" she asked as Niall and I glanced at each other, a bit unsure. "It's one of my last shows! We have to go grab a drink together!"

"Sure, we'll do that."

She left with a big grin and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. I frowned, my lips still curled, but I had to admit that the way he was looking at me made something twitch in my stomach.

"Thank you." he whispered, bending down to kiss the top of my head.

"For?"

"For wanting to get to know my friends. I know you get along great with all our childhood friends, and my cousins and all, but I've made great friends while doing this job, and you never really seemed to be interested in befriending them too, well, except for Harry, Louis and Liam.”

I shrugged a shoulder and looked away before looking back at him and raising my nose in a small grimace. "You used to hang out with many celebrities, especially when you were dating Heidi. I don't know, Niall, to me, it's a bit intimidating." I admitted. "I never felt like I fitted with them, or belonged with those famous faces. It's just weird to me."

"I'd love to present them to you. I promise they're great."

I stared at him and after a while, my lips curled again. "Sure, I'd love to meet them." I just gave in and by seeing the smile on his face, I knew it made him happy. "Let's start with Julia. I already know I love her."

Niall laughed and cupped my face, tilting my chin up before reaching for my mouth with his. "And I know I love you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam

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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years

Text

Señorita - Shawn Mendes (pt 2)

yall went crazy for my senorita imagine, thank you for the love you showed it, now im bringing you part 2!! im having an amazing time writing about bad boy shawn, not sure how long this will turn out to be but i hope yall will stick with me during this journey! literally spent my last 24 hours writing it so i can bring the second part as soon as possible and im sooo excited about it!!

5k of angst, fluff and pure anxiety

ALSO for that nosy ass anon, i inserted a keep reading function, hope your life is happy now :)))))))))) (though its not showing on the app for me only on pc and this is why i dont fuck around with these kind of stuff)

part 1 - part 3

masterlist

Three days. It has been three day since you spent the night with Shawn. He promised to come by the diner the next day but he never showed up. By the end of your shift you were basically a nerve-wreck, hoping to find him leaning against his bike outside, but the parking lot was painfully empty.

You don��t even have his number. For fuck’s sake, you don’t even know if he has a phone! These three days just gave you a million opportunities to think about how stupid you were to fall for his games. He probably never thought of you as more than just a one night stand. It even crossed your mind that you might have just been a bet with his stupid friends and you willingly gave his victory to him. Anger, hatred, disappointment and regret fueled your body that night when he failed to show up as promised. You wanted to cry, scream and shout, but at the end you felt like it’s just… not worth it.

“Rosie, you know I love you, but I can’t keep up with my and your tables as well,” you tell your favorite co-worker once you are back in the kitchen and find her sitting on the counter top, scrolling through her phone.

“I’m sorry, but this is just blowing my mind,” she tells you, her eyes wide at the screen while you put the dirty dishes into the sink and start rinsing them off, something you always do to make the work of the kitchen staff easier.

“What’s so important that you can’t do your job?” you ask a little annoyed, but more curious.

“There was a huge scuffle downtown like an hour ago.”

“What?” you snap, your stomach immediately dropping. You squeeze yourself up to her side as she scrolls through the short news article. It doesn’t say much, only that the police was called because probably two rival gangs had a fight and someone heard a gunshot as well. Two guys were caught, but you know neither of them is Shawn because they would have already made sure everyone in town knows Shawn Mendes was caught.

“Damn it,” you mumble, your thoughts racing faster than ever.

You might be hating on the guy, but you definitely don’t want him to get hurt. That gunshot makes your stomach churn when you think that the bullet might have ended up in him for all you know.

“What the fuck are you two doing here?” Rob’s voice makes both of you jump as he stares at you in disbelief. His mouth in a disapproved grimace under his rather disgusting mustache, his hands on his hips. “I’m not paying you to chit-chat in the kitchen. Get out and do your job!”

Rosie and you rush out, leaving the steamy kitchen behind as you quickly start pretending like you are so busy with work, just until Rob disappears in his office again, not giving a flying fuck about what’s going outside.

You take some orders and bring out some drinks before going back to the kitchen to hide behind the fridge. Pressing your back to the wall you slide down and hug your knees to your chest, not able to get Shawn out of your mind. The painful inertia is just killing you, not even knowing where he is and if he is okay.

Your mind leaves your body by the end of your shift. You keep messing the orders up and you can’t stop apologizing, but you just couldn’t get Shawn off of your mind and you hate him for that. The thought of going to bed seems like heaven to you when you arrive to your house. You slide your key into the lock, but you notice the door is not locked and you freeze.

Can it be that you forgot to lock the door this morning? You were pretty tired, it would make sense, but it’s not something that has happened before.

Reaching into your bag you grab your pepper spray, ready to defend yourself against anything that’s waiting for you inside. You slowly open the door, walking inside as quiet as possible, holding the spray up as your eyes scan the room. Nothing seems to be odd, Gordon walks out of the bathroom so calmly that he almost convinces you there is no one else in the house, but you’re still not sure about that.

Brushing himself against your leg he purrs for you before moving to the couch and curling up on one of the pillows. You are just about to believe that the place is clear when you hear a noise coming from the bathroom.

You glance at Gordon as if he could tell you what it was, after all he just came out of there and didn’t seem to be bothered. You make your way towards the bathroom, still holding the spray up. Pushing the door open you step inside and suddenly a hand wraps around your wrist.

“Fuck!” you scream, your finger missing the top of the spray and you even drop it, almost pissing your pants.

“Hey, it’s just me!” you hear a familiar voice but it can’t stop your body from shaking like a leaf.

You finally make Shawn’s tall figure out in the dark, his large hands taking yours as he pulls you closer to him and you let him do so.

“Shit, Shawn!” you gasp on the verge of tears. You’ve never been more scared for your life. His arms wrap around your body as he holds you tight, your face pressed against the hot skin of his chest.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he whispers gently stroking your hair as you slowly calm down, recovering from your heart-attack.

Once you are back, mind and body functioning again you firmly push him away from you, letting your frustration explode out of you.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” you snap at him, but your anger quickly disappears when you see his face turn into a painful grimace as his hands cover his ribs on his right side, close to where you just pushed him. “Oh my God, what’s wrong?” you panic, quickly reaching for the light switch.

You can’t believe your eyes when you see the huge bruise on his side. It’s as big as his hand twice and the colors are not too promising either as his skin is painted in blue, green, purple and red making up a galaxy-like patch on his torso.

“Shit, I think it’s broken,” you gasp taking a better look at it.

“It’s alright, I just need some ice on it,” he breathes out, trying his best to cover up his pain, but you see right through him.

“Come on.”

You pull him out of the small bathroom, making him sit on the couch. Gordon eyes him curiously as he holds his hand to his side while you jog to the fridge. You grab the icepack from freezer and return to him, kneeling down in front of him, gently peeling his hand off of his wound.

“How did you even get into my house?” you ask as you gently put the icepack to his side and he hisses from the sudden feeling.

“Keys under the flowerpot? Pretty predictable,” he smirks at you between two grimaces as his hand takes up your hand’s place on the pack and he holds it to his side. You mentally note to look for a better hiding spot for your spare key.

“And what were you doing in the bathroom in the dark?”

“I uh… I wanted to lay down in the bathtub, hoping it would feel nice and cold.”

“But I don’t have a bathtub.”

“Yeah, I figured it out right when you got home.”

Leaning back on the couch he keeps his eyes closed and you’re not sure what you should do now. Should you kick him out? Or ask what the fuck happened in the past few days? You realize you are not even in a real relationship to question him about his whereabouts.

Standing up you are about to go to the kitchen for some water maybe when his eyes pop open and grabbing your hand he pulls you down next to him.

“Where are you going?”

“To get some water?”

“No need for that,” he smiles at you tiredly as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, trying to make you cuddle to his side that’s not beaten up, but you move back. “What’s wrong?”

“Shawn, you can’t just appear after days and pretend like nothing really happened.”

“Are you mad because I disappeared?”

He tries to pull you back to him, but you need space. You hop to your feet and he follows you, putting the height difference to your list of anxieties. You can’t think straight when he is towering above you with his defined jawline and hazel eyes.

“You disappeared, got into a fight and then broke into my house bruised up, expecting me to just pretend like it’s normal. It’s not normal for me, Shawn.”

“I know,” he sighs and for the first time you see him anxious, though he is doing a good job hiding it. You almost missed it. “And I’m sorry. I really am.”

His fingers brush against your cheek, leaning closer his nose touches your forehead and you are determined to avoid looking into his eyes knowing well you’d just get weak.

“Shawn, I can’t do this,” you say, your voice barely more than just a whisper.

“Do what?”

“This. You and me. It’s just not working, okay?” Taking a step away from him you lose physical contact with him as he stands there, staring at you a bit confused.

“How do you know it’s not working if you don’t even give it a chance?”

“I gave it,” you snap, finally finding the courage to look at him. “That night when I was at your place, but it went to nothing when you disappeared for three days.”

“Y/N, I told you, that I’m sorry,” he repeats as if saying it again and again solves everything instantly. It’s obvious he has never had to work for anyone like this which kind of makes you proud of yourself, but you don’t let him know that.

“Saying that you’re sorry is not changing anything,” you tell him. “Not that anything should be changed, this whole thing was over before it could start.”

“Don’t say that!” he suddenly snaps, raising his voice. You’re quite taken aback from his reaction and it must be showing on your face because he quickly holds himself back, lowering his tone when he continues. “Don’t just give up on me so easily. Please.” Closing the distance between the two of you he throws the icepack to the side so both his hands are free to hold your face in them.

“Why don’t you give up on me?” you whisper feeling yourself reaching your breaking point. His forehead rests on yours, the physical contact is basically making you see sparkles.

“Because I know that I just can’t. I don’t know why. Please, just… give me one more chance.”

There is something in it when he starts begging. You don’t know if he is doing it on purpose or not, but it’s putting a spell on you whenever he says the magic word, please. Your brain wants to send him away, teach him a well-deserved lesson, but your heart takes over this time.

“Okay. But we need to lay out some rules.”

“Rules?” he asks, his face lighting up.

“Yes. And please, take them seriously,” you firmly say, wanting him to know that this is important for you.

“I will. Promise. Let’s talk about those rules, Señorita.”

You make them clear and easy.

One, he has to let you know by the end of every day that he is alright. For this you finally exchange numbers, which just feels ridiculous if you think about how this should have happened at the very beginning if it was a normal relationship. You don’t ask for much, just a text is enough, the best if he comes by the diner, but you can’t expect him to spend all his time around you.

Two, no more sneaking into your house. You just can’t risk attacking him because you think it’s an intruder.

And three… Be honest.

“I’m already honest with you, Y/N,” he says narrowing his eyes at you, not really understanding what you mean.

“Uhuh, like the other time when you said you didn’t know those guys who started the fight. They called you by name, I’m not stupid, you knew them.”

Letting out a frustrated sigh he presses his lips into a thin line. You push yourself up, looking down at his lying figure on your bed. His side still looks horrible, but he keeps telling it’s fine even though you are pretty sure his ribs are broken.

“There are some things that are best if you don’t know about.”

This uneasy, bitter feeling is back. You sit up, turning away from him. You were dumb enough to think that he wants to change for the better for you, but it seems like he is not willing to leave his lifestyle back anytime soon.

“What did I say this time?” he sighs pushing himself up, wincing a little at the movement.

“Nothing,” you mumble, making your way into the bathroom. You pray he doesn’t follow, but you are out of luck. As you grab your night shirt you see him in the mirror, appearing behind you.

“Y/N, honesty goes for both of us. What’s gotten you upset?”

You refuse to look at him, just take your shirt and pants off, acting like he is not even there. You sleep in an oversized t-shirt, so you just throw it on and then take your bra off from under it. You see the smirk on his lips from your little maneuver and you know he is aching to comment on how he has seen everything under that shirt, but you’re glad he keeps it to himself.

“Y/N, please answer!” He turns you by your chin to face you and you are just silently fuming, not wanting to give the words into his mouth. “Baby, what did I do wrong this time?”

Why does he has to be so persistent? You know he is not letting it go and it’s obvious you are not getting out of the bathroom until you tell him what he wants.

“I just thought that you are going to give up all that dangerous stuff.”

You expect him to laugh at you. You feel ridiculous, so you are sure he thinks the same of you, but instead, his eyes soften at you as his hands slide down your side and to your waist.

“It’s not that simple,” he sighs, his voice laced with guilt. “I’ve tried to leave it all behind. Many times, but it’s not that easy.”

“But you can try at least,” you growl at him crabbed, taking a step back from him as you lean your back against the cold wall.

He stands there, clearly torn between two worlds. You hate giving ultimatums to people, it’d piss you off if it would be you on the other end, but Shawn seems to be calmer than what you expected. You could almost see the little devil and angel on his shoulders, whispering into his ears and you realize you are putting too much pressure on him. You can’t redeem the world in one day and he already agreed to a lot of other small things. Change doesn’t come over night.

Pushing yourself away from the wall you step closer to him, your hands slide up his chest to the base of his neck, the silver necklace rolling under your touch.

“I’m sorry, I was being greedy,” you whisper as you rest your forehead against his. “I have to be more patient with you.” He closes his eyes, arms around your body and you swear he is sniffing you, but you let it pass.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better. For you,” he whispers, eyebrows furrowed. Your lips brush against his and he quickly kisses you before another word could be said.

You moan into his mouth once you feel his tongue against yours. His fingers tangle into your hair and he starts to push you slowly right until your back hits the wall again. When your hands wander down on his naked torso you make sure not to hurt him around his wounded side, but it’s a little hard to contain yourself when his lips are traveling down on your neck, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses on your heated skin.

Desire is burning between your legs and you just want to forget about everything that happened today, but you both know Shawn is not fine enough physically to deal with your endless lust right now.

The kisses slow down, panting echoes in the small bathroom as you try to catch your breath.

“Let’s get you to bed, okay?” you whisper, barely finding your own voice. He nods and you tangle yourself out from him.

Lying on the bed you curl up to his healthy side as he wraps his strong arms around your figure, his thumb repetedly caressing your shoulder as you listen to his steady heartbeat.

“Shawn?” you speak up after a while hoping he is not asleep just yet.

“Mmm,” he hums as a reply.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

His fingers stop for a few moments before he holds you tighter to his body, kissing into your hair.

“I’ll try.”

“So, I haven’t seen Mr. Danger around here lately.” Rosie arches an eyebrow at you while you are counting the fat tip you just got, tugging it away into your apron’s pocket.

“Who?” you ask, pretending not to know who she is talking about, but Shawn’s handsome face immediately pops up in your mind, almost making you smile.

“You know who I’m talking about,” she gives you a look as she fills up three cups with lemonade, but she keeps looking out for Rob. Apparently, he told her that she is skating on thin ice with her working attitude and needs to put more effort into her work if she wants to keep receiving her paychecks.

“Why would he come here?” you keep up the act.

“Oh, cut the shit, Y/N. What’s up with him, have you talked lately?”

You sigh, giving in, not wanting to torture her any longer, but just when you open your mouth the door of the diner flies open, the small bell rings in warning and you both turn just in time to see Shawn walk in, his usual leather jacket on, hair perfectly messy from probably riding his bike and he unhurriedly takes his aviator sunglasses off, his eyes lazily looking around the place until they find you and a smug smile plasters across his face.

“Holy shit,” you hear Rosie mumbling under her breath and you show an elbow to her side, making her lose balance for a moment. She shoots you a look, but you shoot it back.

“Show your tongue back into your mouth,” you tell her as you walk out from behind the counter, meeting Shawn midway between the tables.

“Hey there, Señorita.”

His large hands immediately slide to your side, holding you firmly as you throw your arms around his neck, your fingers finding his soft curls at the back of his head.

“Hi,” you whisper as he leans down and kisses you softly, making you forget about everything else that’s around you in this moment.

“You hungry?” you ask as you lead him to his usual box.

“For you? Always.”

You roll your eyes at his comment, but you can’t push a smile down as you look down at him.

“Anything from the menu?” you ask, and quickly add: “I’m not on the menu.”

“What a pity,” he sighs. “Then scrambled eggs with bacon, please. When are you going on a break?”

“Um, in about twenty,” you say checking the clock across the wall.

“Perfect,” he grins at you as you turn around and go back to Rosie behind the counter.

You give the order to the kitchen stuff and face Rosie’s questioning and shocked face.

“What the fuck was that?”

“What do you mean?” you ask innocently.

“Um, you eyefucking with none other than Shawn Mendes, the Greek god of town.”

“Rosie, do you ever filter what you say?” you ask gasping. You definitely did not eyefuck him. Or… did you?

“Is this like an official thing now?” she asks following you into the kitchen as you grab a Corona from the fridge for table 4.

“Kind of,” you shrug, making it look like it’s not a big deal, but your inner self has been jumping up and down for days now, screaming in happiness.

“Okay, you are telling me everything on the way home,” she demands before disappearing from your sight, not even giving you the chance to protest.

Bliss. Utter bliss. This is how you can describe the past few days.

You can tell Shawn has been doing everything he can to make things work for you. He spent the night at your place a few times and when he couldn’t, he made sure to call you before you go to sleep, just asking you about how your day has been, genuinely interested in everything you had to say. You spent another day off with him yesterday, just lazily chilling in bed, watching movies and having some steamy and hot sex, which is kind of your favorite part every time he is over.

He refused to go to a doctor with his side though, said he has a cousin who’s a doctor and that he checked it out, gave him some pills and said it’ll be alright. You’re skeptical about that, but you didn’t want to start a fight about that. It’s starting to look better anyway and he is not wincing anymore when you accidentally touch it.

You still worry about him whenever he is away, not really knowing what he is doing and that’s just too troublesome for you, but you are learning to deal with your own dark thoughts.

You feel like a giddy teenage girl as you move around the diner, doing your job, but sneakily keep glancing at Shawn who has his eyes glued to you the whole time.

“I can’t work like this,” you sigh stopping at his table and he blinks up at you angelically, pretending to be the most innocent guy in the world.

“What? I’m not doing anything!”

“You are basically stripping me with your eyes,” you whisper leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. You can feel eyes on you, some local women have been eyeing you enviously after seeing you and Shawn kiss, but you’re kind of enjoying it.

Yeah, bitches, take that! The town’s sexiest guy is all over me! You think to yourself.

“I’m sorry, but this skirt is just… making me feel things,” he sighs taking a good look at your work clothes. It’s a typical, light pink waitress uniform, the skirt might be a little shorter than the average, but Rob thinks that’s just bringing the tips in, so you don’t have anything against it. Apparently, Shawn shares the same thoughts as Rob, enjoying the view.

“I’m off in two. Wanna go outside?” you ask checking the time.

“Sure.”

You go back to the kitchen and grab your phone from the dressing room. You pull out the elastic from your hair, gently massaging your scalp where your bun was before.

“I’m going on my break!” you tell Rosie who is behind the register this time.

“Don’t want to hear moaning from the back, oh wait, maybe it might be hot. I like it, do what you want,” she smirks at you and you just give her a disapproving look.

“Filter, Rosie. Think about what you say before saying it!” you tell her walking away.

Shawn is already at the door, he opens it for you as the two of you walk out to the back of the building for some alone time.

His bike is parked by the wall, not far from the little bench you have there for those who smoke on their breaks.

“I missed you,” he mumbles into your neck, pulling you close immediately when you are out of the sight of the people on the road that runs in front of the diner.

“You mean in the twenty minutes that I had to work while you were staring at me?” you giggle, hands on his broad shoulders as you try not to moan from the way he is kissing your neck.

“Yeah. Hardest twenty minutes of my life.”

He backs you until you bump against the wall and he locks you there with his hands on each sides of your head. You hide yours behind your back as you blink up at him, biting into your bottom lip. His eyes are so much darker this time, lust burning in them as he takes his time looking you up and down.

“You are so fucking sexy, Señorita. You have no idea what you are doing to me.”

Desire laces through his voice, making your lower part catch on fire. Oh, how bad you wish you weren’t behind this building but home, in your bed, with no clothes on.

You tilt your head, your lips gently brushing against his arm, he smells like some kind of sweet cologne that you like so much. Pressing your lips to the inside of his arm you lightly suck on the thin skin, earning a satisfied moan from him, but it also throws him off the edge, dropping his hands to your waist and pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

One of his hands travel up to the back of your head, holding you in place while the other wanders down to your butt, rolling your skirt up so his palm is touching your skin instead of the fabric of the dress. You blindly pray no one is around to see this, you wouldn’t want anyone else to see your almost bare butt but on the other hand you just don’t want him to stop.

The sound of a bike approaching makes you push him away, afraid it’s coming near you. You quickly roll your skirt back down, just in time. A redhead guy appears on a bike, similar to Shawn’s. You’ve seen him before, he is one of Shawn’s friends for sure, but his face is making your stomach churn, the expression is making you want to run because you are sure he has bad news.

“Brian, what are you doing here?” Shawn asks, one arm around you protectively. You hug his waist, eyeing the guy with suspicion.

“You need to come. Wade and his rats are at Connor’s, they are saying one of us beat Wade’s nephew up last night.”

“What?” Shawn snaps. “Everyone was at yours last night, it couldn’t be us.”

The mentioning of Wade Salazar makes you sick to the stomach. The guy is a walking criminal record, spent at least five years in prison by the time he turned twenty-five, the police has been trying to catch him for good for so long, but somehow he always slips out of their hands for the big stuff. The most serious thing they could convict him of is drug trading, but somehow he managed to get away with most of the stuff even in that case. You always knew Shawn is rivals with him, but you refused to think about him getting involved with such a monster as him.

“Yeah, try telling that to Wade,” Brian scoffs. “We need you, he wants to talk to you.”

“Don’t go!” you find yourself saying it before you could hold yourself back.

You feel Brian’s burning gaze on you, but you ignore it, only focusing on Shawn and his clenching jaw.

“Give us a sec,” he tells to the redhead and pulls you a bit farther from his friend.

“Shawn, please don’t go,” you beg, feeling the tears dwelling in your eyes. Something in you is just screaming to make you stop him.

“I have to. These guys are like my brothers. Wade wants to talk to me and if I don’t go he’ll rip off Connor’s place.”

You can see the guilt in his eyes and you know he would rather stay with you, but he is also too protective over his friends and there is nothing you can do about that.

“It’ll be alright, okay? I’ll smooth it out, no fight involved. I’ll be at your place by the time you get home.”

“You promise?” A hot tear runs down your cheek and his thumb catches it right before it could reach your jawline. He kisses you hard, holding your face between his palms as you grab a fistful of his shirt in your hands.

“I promise,” he whispers kissing your forehead before letting you go.

You watch him jog over to his bike, your knees are shaking as you see him get on it and start the engine. He glances in your direction one more time, giving you a promising smile as you try not to sob, before he and Brian roll out of the parking lot and disappear from your sight.

“Woah, you look like shit,” Rosie grimaces at you when you come back from your break.

“Thanks for the support,” you mumble. You managed make the signs of crying disappear from your face, but you are definitely not feeling better.

“What did the fucker do to you?” she asks, ready to go full tiger mode on anyone.

“Nothing. Can we just… work?” you request tiredly and probably for the first time ever, Rosie just nods without a word.

The rest of your shift feels like hell. You keep checking your phone if there is anything from Shawn and you find yourself staring at the door many times, hoping to see him walk in, but nothing happens. Thankfully Rosie decides not to question you about Shawn on the way home, she just hugs you goodbye, telling you to call her if you want company when she gets off the bus.

When you turn the corner and start walking down your street your stomach drops when there is no sight of Shawn or his bike anywhere near. As your last string of hope you pray he is inside, he just didn’t come with the bike this time though you know it’s impossible.

Opening the door the only thing you see is darkness. Gordon welcomes you with a lazy meow from the couch as he lifts his head up for your arrival. You can’t stop the tears from flowing as you shut the door behind you and collapse on the couch. Grabbing a pillow you bury your face into it, trying to suffocate your desperate sobs as Gordon sniffs you worriedly, not really knowing what you are doing. You reach to scratch his head gently as he stares down at you as if he is questioning if you are alright.

But you are not. Shawn promised to be here and he failed to show up again. It’s breaking your heart ten times harder than last time and you just don’t know what to do with the situation anymore.

Minutes pass by, your sobs come to a halt as you sit in the dark without moving, staring at the same spot on the floor. You know you won’t be able to sleep tonight not knowing where he is or if he is alright. Last time when he didn’t come you just gave up, but you don’t feel like you can do that again. You have to do something, you can’t just sit around and see if he ever shows up again.

You are going to find out where this Connor guy lives and go there yourself. Tonight.

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfictions #Señorita #shawn mendes x reader #mendes army

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writers-hes · 4 years

Text

five years.

hello! here is the first part of a five part series called “five years”. it’s inspired by an article i read in the new york times. i really recommend/suggest you read it here.

five years -- year 0.

in which harry and you meet for the first time.

WARNING: unedited.

contains: fluff !

----------

“Danny!” Harry yelled as he saw one of his mates from his English classes. Harry was currently a psychology student, set to graduate in a few months. He was well known around the campus for being loud and kind to everyone. He was a part of humanitarian orgs and liked coffee a lot. He was usually hanging out at The Bean, a small coffee shop near uni. To him, The Bean was his second home. In fact, Angela, the pretty barista already knew his usual order. Harry tried to ask her out on a date and they went out for one date only to realise that it was weird, seeing as they treated each other like how siblings do.

“Hey, Harry! Nice to see you,” Danny greeted back. Danny was Harry’s classmate in a couple of his Psychology classes. He was tall and lanky. He had shiny black hair that he dyes every other month. He wore thick-rimmed glasses because of his bad vision. He was also Harry’s best friend in uni. He and Harry liked to study together because Danny always had the complete notes and Harry always had something else to say that would make the subject easier to understand fro Danny.

“I already ordered myself some coffee, by the way.” Harry said as he motioned to his glass tumbler. “You can go ahead and order something that you like I’ll wait out here,” he added. Danny nodded and walked towards Angela. He ordered two cups of coffee—one caramel latte and one homemade milk tea. He paid and waited for his orders and went back to his table with Harry.

“Uh, is someone else coming?” Harry asked as soon as he saw two reusable glasses of caffeine.

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you, H. My friend is coming over. She’s a Lit major and she’s picking up some of the books she lent Zo,” Danny said. He laid the milk tea down and took out three books from his backpack, all collections of poetry from Charles Bukowksi, Oscar Wilde, and Ocean Vuong.

“So you buy her a drink, huh?” Harry teased, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Nah, not really. It was Zo who told me to buy her a drink,” Danny rolled his eyes. “He didn’t even give me some money for it,” he grumbled.

“Don’t worry, Dan. I’m sure you’ll get something else later!” Harry joked and laughed. Zo was Danny’s boyfriend for two years. He was also taking up Lit and met Danny through one of their English classes.

“Shut up, Harry!”

———

“Say, what time is Zo’s friend coming over?” Harry asked. It’s been forty-seven minutes since Danny arrived. The ice from the tea Danny got her condensed. Harry stared at the layer of water separated from the layer of milk and tea.

“Uh, not sure,” Danny said, looking up from his notes. “I told her that I’ll be here for the whole day and she said that she’ll be here after she’s done with her classes.” Harry nodded and went back to reading his notes. He wondered who could it be. Zo and Danny never really mentioned that friend…perhaps they were new? It’s not like Harry loved to be nosey—it’s because the milk tea was starting to deteriorate and it’s so damn annoying.

“So, are you letting her drink that?” he said, pointing at perfectly good drink forty five minutes ago.

“Don’t know. Might drink it myself. You can have it if you like, I’ll get her a new drink.” Just then, Danny’s phone let out a ‘ping’. “Ah, she’s outside. I’ll just text her to come in here,” Danny said, typing for a few seconds on his phone. The door opened seconds later and there was you.

You jogged on to where Danny was sat. “I’m sorry I made you wait, Dan! I had to stop by one of my professors to submit my classmates’ papers,” you breathed.

“It’s alright, misery,” Danny chuckled. “Oh, by the way! This is Harry,” he said, motioning Harry who was already looking at you. You smiled uncomfortably. “Harry, this is y/n, but Zo calls her ‘misery’,”

“Why did you submit your classmates’ papers?” Harry asked.

“Oh, I’m the beadle for my creative writing class,” you replied.

“Where are you going to next?” Danny asked.

“Oh, I’m going to Kismet to study,” you tell him.

“Kismet is closed, didn’t you hear? They’ve been doing some renovations. You should study here instead,” Harry interjected. “Besides, Danny got you a drink from Zo,”

“Oh, uh—is that okay?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about him,” Danny replied. You take a seat beside Danny and in front of Harry.

“Thanks for the drink, by the way. I’m sorry I’m late,” you whispered to Danny while leaning on his shoulder. You took the cold glass of tea and mixed the water with what Danny really paid for. You took a sip and finished it in seconds, to avoid the tea getting more watery.

You loved to wear sweaters even on summers. You loved to have your hair tied up so your hair wouldn’t get in the way of your clear-rimmed glasses. You had poor eyesight and a bad back. You liked tea and coffee but loved hot cocoa the best. You’re the sweet day on a hot summer. You were welcoming and warm.

“By the way, it was nice meeting you, y/n.” Harry said from across the table.

———

Harry never really saw you after your encounter even though you saw him all the time. You just knew when he was near. He never left your mind ever since you met him at The Bean more than a week ago. You were always watching out for him and the possibility of him bumping into you and saying “hi” made you more alive than caffeine. What was with that curly haired boy?

“So, I heard Kismet is finally open…” Zo said. You just finished one of your classes together and had a four hour vacant.

“Ah, can we go there please? I miss my rose latte,” you pouted.

“It’s not even that good. You just order it because it makes you feel like a Tumblr girl,” Zo chuckled.

“Hey! Not true. I really like the taste! It’s not that sweet and not that strong either,” you retorted while bumping your sides with him.

“You know who would like it? Harry. You met him, yeah?”

“Yeah. I still feel a guilty for making him and Danny wait. Please tell them I’m sorry,” you pouted. Zo smiled at your sincerity. He knew that Harry and Danny didn’t mind—they were literally the most patient people he ever met. Well, not so much for Harry but he’s good enough.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the campus, Harry was rushing to get to one of his majors. He had his textbooks and iPad in hand while speed walking to the designated room. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbled repeatedly. He couldn’t believe he didn’t notice the time. He was too busy catching up with some of his friends from high school who visited. He was zooming past the corridor when he heard a loud ‘hey’. He turned around and saw you with one of his dear friends, Zo, behind him. He lost balance and fell on his butt, his iPad and books lading on the floor.

“Harry!” Zo gasped as he jogged to Harry. “What happened?”

“Was rushing to my psych class and lost balance,” he huffed. You jogged towards the scene and started picking up what fell down.

“Here you go,” you smiled as you waited for Harry to get back up on his feet. He took his stuff from you. He was so red and you couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked.

“You’re so red! Are you sure you’re alright?” you asked.

“Yeah…happens to me all the time,” he mutters. He looks at his wrist watch and sighed. “gotta go! Say hi to Danny for me, Zo! And it was nice seeing you again, y/n!” he said as he shuffled and power-walked to his next room.

Harry couldn’t believe it. Before he could even ask for your number, you saw him falling down like a wuss. How will you think he’s cool now? It’s not like he fell in a cool way. He groaned and slowly treaded in front of the class room. He entered and thanked the universe because the professor wasn’t there yet. He sat in his usual seat and opened his iPad and got his Pencil when he received a text from one of his mates, Louis.

Louis Tomlindaughter: oi! u wanna go down to niall’s for the viewing party?????

harry: Can’t. I have to study for a major exam tomorrow.

Louis Tomlindaughter: nerd! next time if you say no im gonna go there my fuckin self and drag u smh !

harry: Sorry. Maybe next time.

Louis Tomlindaughter: alright then but if u dont get a good grade in ur exam im gonna tell y/n how dumb u are ! hehehe 🤭

Louis knew that Harry had a crush on you. Right after he met you, he met up with Louis and Zayn for some burgers. He couldn’t stop gushing about how warm and nice you were. He didn’t stop talking about how you offered him half of your chocolate chip cookie. He also didn’t stop talking about how pretty you looked that time in your baggy sweater and clear-rimmed glasses. Louis never really knew you or bothered to. Zayn and you knew each other because you would aways see each other at Kismet. It seemed like you and Harry ran in the same social circle but you just never really met. He didn’t even wanna go to class anymore. He just wanted to go to you so you can finally talk to him without the interruption of academics. When you were at The Bean, you barely looked at each other, too busy studying and highlighting notes. He sighed.

Danny: hey are you going 2 niall’s viewing party l8r???

hairstyles: No. I have a major exam tomorrow.

Danny: u can study w zo! im leaving him alone tonight and u know how he is. he loves study dates because it makes him focus

hairstyles: Oh? Alright. I’ll text him.

cimmamom roll harry: Hey, Zo. I heard you’re studying tonight. Can I come?

Zo: SURE

cimmamom roll harry: Cool. What time and where?

Zo: KISMET AT 7PM !!!

cimmamom roll harry: Okay. See you then! x

Harry really wanted to go to Niall’s viewing party. It was the premier of Stranger Things 3 and he wanted nothing more that to watch it with his friends. However, time didn’t permit him because he had to study. He was so tired, only functioning when there’s caffeine around. The Bean was basically his second home and although he never tried it at Kismet because he was too afraid to try something new, he was looking forward to it.

7 p.m. came quickly and he was outside Kismet, a brown and white coffee place. The decorations were mostly made up of different wood and burlap. The accents were black and the paint was white. There were also little succulents and cactuses littering the shop from the windowsills to the high tables. He opened the door and heard the bells chime. He looked for Zo only to find you sitting at a brown solo couch. Harry decided to go to you first.

“Hey, y/n, right?”

You looked up from your textbook to find the curly haired boy that never seemed to leave your mind.

“Yeah. Hi, Harry,” you smile at him. It seemed like butterflies erupted in Harry’s stomach when you said his name. Your accent made his name sound better.

“Uh, are you going to study with Zo?” he asked. You noticed how slow he talked. He mumbled his words and his accent was thick.

“Well, I was supposed to. But he said he wouldn’t be able to go in the last minute,” you tell him.

“Is it alright if I study with you, then? Was supposed to study with Zo too but I suppose that’s not gonna happen tonight,” He was really hoping that you would say yes.

“Sure! No problem. Just lay your stuff on the table and I’ll watch you stuff while you order,” you tell him, motioning on the empty chair in front of you. Harry nodded and did what you told him too. he said thanks before leaving to get his order.

Zo: thnx me l8er harry ;)

Meanwhile, Harry was freaking out when he saw Zo’s text. He didn’t know he would be alone with you. Sure, Zo and Danny was doing him a favour and all that but—wait. How did Zo and Danny knew he was crushing on you?

“Hello! What may I get for you today?” a blue-haired girl asked Harry once he was in front of the cashier.

“Hi,” he looked at the girl’s name tag, “Rue. What are your crowd favourites here?”

“Well, we got a lot! We have rose latte, apricot tea with aloe vera, grape cheezo tea, brown sugar milk, condensed milk coffee, and ca phe sua. I personally like the brown sugar milk and rose latte. The rose latte is our signature drink,” Rue informed.

“I’ll have that, yeah. Large. I’ll also get two herb and and tomato linguine, please. With buttered bread and extra cheese, yeah?”

“That will be…5.50 for the latte and then…25 flat for the pasta.” Rue said. Harry handed his credit card to Rue and told her to take something for a tip. Rue declined, telling him that it was fine—he was also a student and he didn’t have to. He opted for some loose cash from his pockets instead and put it into the tip jar. Rue thanked him repeatedly before he left the station to go back to where you sat and wait for his orders.

“I hope you haven’t had dinner yet,” he said as soon as he settled himself on the comfy couch.

“Oh, no. Not yet, why?” you asked.

“Because I got you some pasta. It would be foolish of me to get two pastas of the same kind, yeah?”

“Well, maybe you really like the pasta. Who am I to judge?” you teased.

“Not really a pasta man. More of a steak man myself,” he mentioned.

“Ugh. I would kill for a steak right after the exams,” you told him. The past week, you have’t been eating full meals because of how busy you were. Caffeine and instant ramen was your go-to. if you were lucky, you would be able to make a quick stop to McDonald’s and get some nuggets.

Harry’s orders arrived soon after and you thanked him as he handed the red sauced pasta to you.

“So, what are you studying?” he asked you.

“Not really studying but our final project is to compare two complete different poets together,” you told him.

“Oh? Who did you pick?”

“Bukowski and Wilde. I really love Bukowski and he was my major influence in all of my poems,” you told him.

“I don’t really know him that much but I stumbled upon one of his works before. I think it was Into the Arms of Another? It had those words but I remembered liking it a lot,”

“Out of the Arm of One Love, you mean?” you corrected. “It’s actually one of his more famous works if I’m not mistaken but yeah, I love that poem too,”

“Who’s your favourite poet?” he asked you.

“I really love Virginia Wolfe, Maya Angelou, Ocean Vuong…but for me, Bukowski would always take the cake. The way he writes his poetry is so direct and sad. The emotions are very violent and I just really love him,” you gushed.

He smiled at you. What was with you that pulled him? Is it your intellect? Or is it because you were so damn beautiful?

“If it’s okay with you…can you show me more of his works?” he asked you. Harry surprised himself. He never really liked reading but he was suddenly so interested in what you were interested in. For you, the stranger he met two weeks ago, he was willing to read some poetry so he wouldn’t look like such a dummy. He never really liked changing for other people but what was with you?

“Yeah, of course! You can have my number. We can talk to each other there,” you told him. You wrote your number on a scrap paper and gave it to Harry. You surprised yourself. You never did this to other guys so what was with this lanky boy with good fashion taste? He took the paper from your hands and the soft touch of your skin to his was a shot of electricity between the both of you. You both immediately pulled away, shocked.

“Erm, yeah, thanks,” he muttered. you immediately go back to the books you were reading and he opening his psychology textbook. He fished for his pencil case inside his bag. He took his pink highlighter and started to highlight terms. You sat in awkward silence for a little bit but it soon turned into a peaceful silence. You may have talked less but you were enjoying each others’ company.

The cafe soon announced its last call. It was nearing midnight so you both packed up your things. You walked outside the cafe with him in silence.

“Hey, y/n?”

“Mmm…?”

“Where do you live? I’ll take you,” he told you.

“Oh, it’s fine. You don’t need to do anything,” you told him.

“I insist.”

You informed him your address and just like in the cafe, you walked in peaceful silence until you reach your building.

“Here I am,” you announced. “Thanks for the pasta, bye the way.”

“It’s nothing. Hey, you said you would kill for a steak after finals, right? Why don’t I take you out then?” he asked. You smiled at him and nodded. You hugged him and ran to your flat. What was with that curly haired boy with perfect posture?

Harry arrived at his soon after, wondering what the hell was with the girl with bad posture? You wore a pink sweater on your ‘study date’ so Harry painted his nails pink.

#harry #Harry Styles #harrystyles #harry styles fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiic #fluff #college #styles #fluffy #first date #first meeting

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mishaandthebrits · 4 years

Text

Your Guardian Angel

Rushing out of work you sighed. You hated it. Well not the job itself, but your boss and coworkers as they all were judgmental and fake friends. As it was Friday you decided to ditch your usual after work Tradition of going home and treating yourself by for once going shopping. Feeling rather self confident, which was quite unusual for you, you decided to try on one of the little black dresses your favorite store had in stock.

"Well damn girl, the guy you come home to is fucking lucky.", you heard a voice beside you speak when you stepped out of the dressing room to look at yourself in the mirror. Surprised you turned around and stood opposite of a brunette woman in jeans and a T-shirt. "Uhm thank you?", you mumbled and she smirked. "Made friends already?", a blonde asked the one opposite of you. "Only complimented the outfit.", she answered stepping aside. "Daaaaaaaamn.", the blonde you now saw gasped. "Thank you...", you blushed biting your lip.

"Hey, so you live in Paris right?", the first asked again and you nodded confused due to the sudden change of topic. "Do you have anything planned tonight? You seem cool and we're not from here.", she smiled and you thought for a second. You wanted to get more spontaneous and these two didn't seem like kidnappers, so you decided to give it a shot. "Sure, I could show you around a little?", you smiled at them. "I'm Y/N by the way." "Briana and that's Kim, not sure where the others are.", the blonde shrugged. "How many are you exactly?", you asked surprised and she seemed to count in her head. "Tonight we're 6, the other 4 stayed at the hotel because they're either sick or party poopers.", she finished and you nodded. "And you're all Americans?", you then asked before turning around to head back to the dressing room. "You better leave that one on, it's fabulous! And yes, well no, one is half French, but besides that all born and raised in the land of opportunities.", Kim laughed. "I'm not American though.", a red head grinned as she walked up to the three of you. "Oh damn right! That's Ruth. Ruth, Y/N.", Briana introduced and you waved at her smiling softly. Once all of the three and you had paid for your new possessions and you had changed back into the dress as they had requested the three girls lead you to a small restaurant across the street. "Guys! We found a new friend.", Ruth exclaimed excited pulling you towards the table. "These are Rob and Rich, secretly gay for each other and Sebastian, our half French guy. This is Y/N, Kim found her trying on the dress and she actually considered not buying it!", she introduced you to the others and the others to you and soon another chair has been added to the table and the seven of you sat around it with a cocktail in hand each. "So what did they catch you with?", Richard asked from beside you after taking a sip. "Kim surprised me kind of and then they just asked me and well, I really need to work on being spontaneous, so here we are.", you shrugged smiling at him softly. "Well spontaneous is my second name.", Sebastian spoke from your other side and for some reason the whole table laughed. "Thought that was charmer?", Rob shot back and you grinned. "Don't worry Y/N, Seb is all talk and no action.", Kim reassured you before they all got back to the topic they had been talking to before, which was the absence of a person younger than them. In a moment of confusion and laughing Sebastian all of a sudden leaned over towards you and smirked. "You know, I can show you what a man of action I am later...", he whispered right beside your ear and stroked your cheek with his finger before sitting back up and joining the conversation the others had leaving you with a flushed face. Not joining their conversation you were still thinking about his words when Richard rapped your shoulder. "All okay? Are we boring you?", he asked genuinely worried and you smiled at him. "Not at all, the stories you're telling sound like fun, well some are also pretty creative.", you told him noticing that the others were all caught up in the conversation. "I'll kidnap Y/N quickly so she can translate okay? I don't trust Seb anymore.", he then grinned at the group and pulled you up after they had nodded. While you quickly followed him Sebastian watched you smirking. "What do you need translated?", you asked once he stopped in a quiet corner and he laughed softly. "Nothing, just wanted to get you away from Mr. Charming. Look, we all know he can be quite overwhelming and he always is like that around us, but usually not towards strangers, unless he is on stage. I don't know what exactly he told you earlier, but he seems to enjoy your company, so I just wanted to make sure you're not thinking too bad about him after whatever he said to you, because judging by your expression it was either really embarrassing or clearly not for the public's ear.", the blonde in front of you spoke smiling and you nodded. "Clearly not for the public ear.", you agreed with a small nod. "But thank you Richard, he really seems like a nice guy under the surface.", you added and Richard smiled even wider now. "Oh he is, he is a puppy and as supportive and loyal as one can be, believe me.", he told you before looking to the table over your shoulder. "Guess we got to head back, just to make sure, you'd be fine if we disappear one after the other?", he asked and you though for a second before nodding. "Good... oh and you had to translate the newspaper article for me, in case they ask.", he spoke over his shoulder before heading back to the table with you in tow.

Richard did just as he had warned you. First the three girl disappeared claiming they were tired and were going to take a taxi to the hotel leaving the three guys and you. While Rob and you talked about the TV show they were all starring in Rich and Seb went to talk outside before coming back inside only to have Rich pronounce he was call it a night as well because apparently he was still jet lagged. Rob was quick to join making you smile. The introduction clearly had been right, they were best friends, almost like a gay couple. "So that leaves the two of us.", Sebastian announced looking at the now almost empty table. "Indeed... Rich asked me earlier if that's okay because he noticed your comment towards me.", you admitted and he frowned before a smile spread on his lips. "And you said yes, i mean you're still here so...", he concluded before you could nod again. "So you do want to take me up on the promise hm?", the male smirked and you lightly hit his shoulder while shaking your head. "What about you actually buy me a coffee first?", you suggested and he grinned happily. "If you intend, I would prefer a nice dinner though, if you haven't had one yet?", he asked you. "Nope, headed shopping and then here directly after work.", you agreed so he got up immediately before helping you up. He held your jacket open and then smiled with his outstretched arm so you could link yours in. Apparently the others had already paid when they left, so he guided you outside onto the busy streets of Paris. Walking close beside you he made sure you would get bumped into while tell you about his youth in Paris. Smiling you explained your history to him about how your parents were French and American and you had just recently moved from New York to Paris for your job. "Oh? So that's the reason such a beautiful lady is spending her Friday evening with strangers?", he asked frowning slightly and you nodded. "I'm having a hard time finding friends here, my coworkers aren't at all like yours.", you sighed and he surprised you with his next move. "Well my coworkers are your friends now as well, after the messages I got they clearly are.", he grinned and handed you his phone with text messages on the lock screen.

"You better not mess this up." - Bri "Go get her tiger. BUT. Keep her." - Kim fucking Rhodes "Bonne Chance Seb. Please don't hurt her." - Witchy "I agree with Rich!" - Rob "If you leave without the intention to see her again I'll end you. Gabriel will end you. And God will join." - Richy "Oh and give her our numbers! Forgot that :)" - Richy

You read the texts before handing him his phone back. "So they all think im gonna let you get it tonight hm?", you frowned and he shrugged. "Apparently they believe I'm really charming.", he shrugged smirking and you smiled. "We'll see hm?", you replied before looking around noticing where you were. "Isn't that like way too expensive?", you frowned when he stopped in front of one of the more expensive restaurants in Paris. "Not really, you deserve to be treated, plus I want to impress you.", he admitted and you giggled. "Oh that's working.", you smiled at him when he took your jacket off of your shoulders only to place it on the rack then pulled your chair out. "Merci.", you smiled with a little nod seconds before a waiter arrived. You ordered your drinks and soon after your food and Sebastian skillfully chose a wine to go with it. "That's your French routs hm?", you teased and he nodded laughing softly. "Either that or its still me wanting to impress you, now hand me your phone, I'll type in the numbers hm?", he offered and you nodded doing just that. A few moments later he handed it back to you and watched you smiling. "I took the opportunity and saved me as well.", he sheepishly admitted and you grinned. "Had hoped you'd do that.", you replied when the waiter delivered your food. The dinner was filled with stories from the both of you and you didn't miss the glances he gave you. The glances or admiration and interest as well as kindness. After dinner you excused yourself to head to the toilet where you got your phone out and looked through your contacts. Quickly you pressed on one of the newly saved contacts. "Hello?", you heard Richard answer and exhaled. "Hey... it's Uhm me, Y/N.", you spoke unsure whether calling was a good idea. "Oh hey, is everything okay? He didn't mess up did he? I'll hurt him if he did!", the male spoke and you chuckled quietly. "No no Richard... it's the opposite and I... I felt like I needed to talk to someone. Is that okay? That's weird right?", you rambled and paced the bathroom. "What? No! Wait I'll get out of the room and back to mine.... okay now, what's going on?", he asked after a moment and you heard he had closed the door to separate himself from the noises. "He... Sebastian is such an angel... I'm scared I'll mess up Richard. I always mess up, that's what he said...", you quietly spoke and heard Richards gasp. "Seb said that?", he grumbled and you realized you had confused him. "Oh no! My ex, my father, all of them. I don't want to hurt Sebastian, but that's all I do.", you sighed sadly and heard Richard breathe in deeply. "Okay, listen. You tell him you don't feel well and when he's back here I'll talk to him if you want, Okay?", the man suggested and you nodded with tear filled eyes. "That would be... You're the best Richard. Heck I don't deserve to know you.", you mumbled then ended the call to get ready to face the disappointed look of Sebastian.

Sebastian had been super understanding making you feel even worse. He had offered to take you home to make sure you arrived safely and when you declined he had ordered a taxi for you and pre payed for it. The whole time in the taxi you texted with Richard explaining why you had reacted the way you did, about your nightmares, the doubts and how sorry you felt that you put that all on him when all of his fan already told him all of those personal stories, but he just told you not worry and accept it because he was your as he said best gay friend now. With a sigh you stepped into your little flat. A few minutes before Richard had written you that Sebastian had arrived in the hotel and he was going to talk to him, so you now anxiously waited for a text message. Quickly you made yourself a cup of tea and sat on your favorite window. You saw the Eiffel Tower from it and simply adored it because of that.

"Are you in bed already? Can you come over?" - Richy

You sighed when your phone showed the notification and quickly got up and put your coat back on.

"Which hotel?"

"Hyatt. Room 759"- Richy

Immediately you were on your way. It had to be bad or too long and complicated if he didn't want to tell you what was going on on the phone or in a text. Stepping into the Hyatt you looked around surprised, you had never been here and probably would never be in such an expensive hotel again. Heading up with the elevator you looked for the room then quietly knocked afraid to disturb other guest who might already be sleeping. While waiting you nervously played with your fingers and looked at the ground. "Y/N... Please come in.", Sebastian's voice greeted you and you looked up surprised. "I... This is your room isn't it?", you sighed before moving to turn around. "It is, but I asked Richard to do that, please come in?", he spoke now incredibly gentle making it impossible for you to turn your back to him. With a quiet sigh you walked inside and once the door fell close he had his arms around you in a protective hug. "Oh Y/N... why didn't you tell me... okay no, I get why, I'm glad you told Richard and allowed him to tell me.", he mumbled into your hair and stroked your back. Right away the tears in your eyes were back and you soon became a crying mess. "Shhh, it's okay... you didn't mess up... and you won't, you can't... there's nothing you could do that would make me think you messed up.", he spoke calmly while he kept holding you. "Nothing okay? Because you are freaking amazing and beautiful and kind and I can't even find the words to describe you although I'm never out of words.", he finished and you closed your eyes trying to calm down. Your arms were on his torso while his were one wrapped around your waist and the other in your hair. After a few more moments you had calmed down enough to breath normal again. He slowly let go of you and looked at you smiling. "I'm a mess...", you whispered referring to both, your physical and emotional state and Sebastian quickly cupped your cheeks. "Okay, you're not a mess, I mean physically you kind of are at the moment, but I think you're adorable and in that cute head of yours everything makes perfect sense, so I am never going to judge you for anything you feel. You have your reasons for thinking this way and chuck help me if I ever meet the person who's done that to you...", he quietly cooed before kissing your forehead. "So now we're gonna go knock on Briana's door and ask if she can borrow you some sweatpants and a shirt and then head to bed, what do you think?", he suggested making you nod with a sniffle. He gently grabbed your hand before leading you back into the hallway after helping you out of your coat. Two doors down the corridor he knocked on a door and a smiling Briana opened the door. "Y/N...? What happened? What did you do?!", she asked you first then turned to Sebastian. "He did nothing! Don't worry, it's me... I messed up...", you quickly defended him only to feel him squeeze your hand. "Bri, could we borrow a pair of sweatpants and a shirt?", he asked her smiling gently and turned to you once she headed back into her room to grab the things. "You didn't mess up okay? I promise you, I understand it. Please don't think that you're messing up when you open up about how you feel and what's going on in that beautiful head of yours. Remember, nothing you could do to mess up, nothing okay?", he mumbled cupping your cheeks again. Closing your eyes with a nod you heard Briana cough quietly and both Sebastian and you turned to look at her. "I've also gotten you a spare hairbrush I had around.", she gently smiled and you went to grab the things only to have the man beside you grab them first. "Got it, thank you Briana, I owe you.", he nodded with a thankful smile then turned to you. "Let's head to bed hm?", he suggested and guided you back to his room. If you had paid attention you would've noticed how Briana's door didn't close until you were back in the room you had previously come from. "You can use the bathroom first, I'll go after you, is that okay?", he asked quietly and you nodded taking the clothes from him then headed for the bathroom. Quickly you changed then went back so he could get changed. Once the both of you were finished he looked at you smiling gently. "I'll take the couch of course.", he explained but you shook your head. "Don't be silly, we're gonna share, it's big enough.", you pointed to the bed and he thought for a second then nodded. Once the both of you laid under the shared blanket but not touching he switched off the light and you sighed. "I'm sorry... I'm sure that's not how you had planned your night to end.", you whispered and heard him turn around probably to face you. "You're right, it's better, after all I'm laying in bed with an amazing woman and am hopefully going to wake up beside her as well.", he spoke the smile audible in his voice leaving you with a smile as well. "Good Night Sebastian.", you mumbled. "Good Night Y/N. Sleep well.", he replied and with a smile you fell asleep beside him.

Slowly opening your eyes you blinked a few times until your eyes adjusted to the light that shone in through the windows. Moving slightly you intended to get up only to be stopped by an arm on your waist. Frowning slightly you turned to the body of the arm that kept you in bed and a slight smile spread across your lips. The way he was holding you, it seemed like he wanted to keep you from getting up, but not in a creepy way, more as if he was being protective. "Sebastian?", you mumbled and tapped his cheek gently in order to wake him. "Hm?", he hummed retrieving his arm from your waist to run his eyes. "We should get up... you have to be at the meeting thing soon, don't you?", you quietly spoke while sitting up and he did the same. "Oh right... yeah... what are you doing today?", he asked looking at you with a soft smile. "Nothing planned, why?", you replied and his smile got wider. "Do you want to join? It's gonna be the others and me and I promise it'll be fun.", he suggested and after a moment of thinking you agreed with a nod. Once the both of you had gotten up you went to shower first then dried your hair and got dressed in your work clothes from the previous day before checking your phone while Sebastian got ready.

"How did you sleep?" - Richard "Briana told me you're at Sebs :)" - Richard

"Surprisingly well, no nightmare tonight.", you quickly typed back before asking how he slept. "Good! Amazing actually. Glad him cuddling kept them away! I know he's a cuddler... we once shared a room at a convention...." - Richard You chuckled and locked your phone just when Sebastian walked back in freshly showered and dressed in a button up and jeans. "What's funny?", he smiled at you while walking over. "Richard said you're a cuddler and that you shared a room once.", you explained while he sat down beside you on the bed. "Did I cuddle you?", he asked turning to face you and you nodded. "I'm sorry... i mean if you did mind...", he started but you interrupted him quickly. "I didn't... it kept the nightmares away.", you whispered before smiling at him gently. "So thank you." "Glad I could help.", he grinned then grabbed your hand carefully to pull you up. "Breakfast and then we leave for the convention, what do you say?", he smiled walking towards the door you in tow and before you could reply you and him ran into Rich and Rob out in the hallway. "Good Morning!", Rob smiled making you wonder whether everyone of them knew you had spent the night there because they didn't really seem surprised. "Morning Robby!", Sebastian grinned and you smiled politely to the both men before heading to breakfast along with them. While the three males talked you mainly listened and chuckled here and there when they said funny things. "So did you two talk?", Richard asked suddenly as he stepped beside you at the buffet. "Not exactly, he still doesn't know more than you told him, but he told me that there's nothing I could do to mess it up with him.", you softly spoke with a tiny smile on your lips and saw Rich smile as well when you looked up. "I'm glad Y/N, because you two are such cuties together. So, do you wanna spend the day with us today then?", he asked while putting some more Madeleines on his dish so he luckily didn't see you blush. "He's asked that already... and if you others don't mind...?", you began only to be interrupted by him with a "We don't at all! So yay!". "What are you two talking about?", Kim asked stepping up beside you and immediately Rich told him about you joining them for the day. "Oh I'm glad! I had hoped so!", the brunette smiled just when she finished getting food, so the three of you went back to the table to finally eat breakfast. After all we're finished the shuttle to the convention hotel was already waiting and you all got inside to head there. You sat in between Richard and Rob because they immediately had stated that that was the plan. "Soooooo, you and Seb hm? I mean you two are so cute!", Rob squealed quietly with a huge grin on his face. "We're not a thing Rob...", you mumbled back and he shrugged. "Not yet, but soon.", he noted before going on to talk about the convention and what was planned for the day so you knew about it. When you arrived you knew the basics about the fans and what was going to happen. Going into the green room with the actors you looked around curiously. "Come here Y/N?", Sebastian asked from a comfortable looking chair from the window. "There's not enough chairs, so you might wanna share with me?", he suggested while patting his lap lightly. It wasn't one of those sexual and weird ones, it was more a friend offering a seat when all chairs were taken. Smiling you sat down and he wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his head on your shoulders. Talking to the other actors they discussed what they were going to talk about at the first panel while you just listened in and giggled when they told you the funny stories the fans would soon know as well. "Rob, Rich and Matt are the first that have to leave, so you want to watch their panel? We could either watch from behind the stage or the back of the room?", Sebastian quietly suggested and you nodded excited. "Behind the stage sounds like a plan.", you smiled at him wanting to avoid being seen and causing rumors. He nodded pulling you a little closer and hummed a French lullaby quietly which made you smile. "I like that song... my mum used to sing it for me when I was little.", you explained so only he heard it. "I'm sure she's a great singer.", he replied only to hear you sigh. "She was yes... a wonderful one, i hardly remember it though."

When the convention finished in the evening it was already way past 9 and you honestly were quite exhausted. Intending to head home and right into bed you grabbed your belongings and headed towards the exit of the empty green room. "Hey, where are you going?", Richard asked as he stepped in and nearly ran you over. "Home, why?", you frowned and he tilted his head. "You don't want to stay with him tonight as well? I mean, you slept good last night didn't you?", he reasoned and you nodded sadly. "I did, but I don't want to bother him any further. I mean I already did cause a lot of trouble didn't I?", you sighed and Richard shook his head wanting to start an answer just when the door opened. "Y/N? Where are you going?", Sebastian asked smiling and you sighed but before you could, Richard replied. "She thinks she's causing you trouble so she wanted to head home.", he told the other only to receive a death glare from you. "Hey hey, I told you. No trouble, no bother and no mess, okay?", Sebastian asked as he stepped in front of you and held your head up so you would have to look at him. "Okay...", you sighed before feeling him wrap his arms around you. "I had hoped your stay another night... is that too optimistic?", he whispered in your ear and you shook your head. "N-no... I just... i thought maybe you'd want to stay at my apartment tonight?", you suggested before feeling him pull away and look at you. "Are you sure?", he frowned and smiled when you nodded. "What? Sure about what?", Richard frowned not having heard your silent conversation. "That he is invited to stay at my place tonight.", you quietly admitted and Richard widely smiled like a boy in a toy store. After saying your goodbyes to the whole cast and promising that you'd come back the next day you and Sebastian grabbed an Uber to head to your apartment. Once inside you showed it to Sebastian and were surprised when he loved and pointed out the details in it. He also fell in love with your favorite window and immediately sat on the bench in front of it, surprisingly opposite of your usual seat. Smiling you joined him and your feet intertwined leaving you touching each other, but not so much it was uncomfortable. "I want to tell you something.", you spoke after a while of pure silence and enjoying the scenery. Curiously the man opposite of you looked over at you smiling. You took a deep breath before looking out of the window and starting. "When I was 4 my mother died... she died in a car crash and I was on the backseat, I hardly made it, but god knows how I survived. My dad didn't really like this though and that's what he made sure I knew. He didn't treat me well, insulted and physically abused me. A night in tears and covered in bruises wasn't unusual. That was until I met Simon, my ex. He first treat me like a queen, he showered me in love and attention but after a while he hung around with my father, he started to show his real side which was similar to my fathers if not even worse. I've been with him for 3 years afraid to leave him until he broke my rib about a year ago. It punctuated my lung and I had to be rushed into hospital where I finally found the courage to tell the nurse and leave him. I've changed my name, my habits, where I live and where I work in order to avoid being found...", you mumbled not daring to look at him after you just came clear about your whole life being a lie. "Those are the reasons for the nightmares, right?", Sebastian asked and you looked up surprised. You had expected something like rage or confusion, but what you saw was care and admiration. Carefully you nodded and he pulled you in between his now slightly spread legs so he could hold you close to his chest. "Oh Y/N, you're such a strong woman... I wish I could've kept you from that, but now that I'm here I will keep you from ever being treated like that again...", he mumbled against your hair and you chuckled in the end making him frown. "So you're gonna be my guardian angel?", you asked softly and he nodded before joining your chuckle. "And that while you actually are the angel.", he shook his head with the same smile still plastered on his face. That same smile was on his lips when he nervously asked you to be his girlfriend four weeks later in front of his friends and the Eiffel Tower. It was the same smile that appeared on his face when you told him you were going to move to the other side of the ocean for him and it was the same expression that graced his lips when he called Richard to tell him the news of your unexpected pregnancy first. When your little son was born he held him with that amazing smile you loved seeing on him and not even a year later he had it when he fell down on one knee in front of you.

All Taglist:

@lokilvrr @luciferstempest

Supernatural Taglist:

@mersuperwholocked-lowlife

#sebastian #sebastian roche #roche #cute #fluff #adorable #supernatural #spn #spn x reader #supernatural x reader #Sebastian roche x reader #Sebastian x reader #x reader #reader

13 notes · View notes

d4c · 5 years

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long list of kh3 thoughts as I was playing, spoilers of course

very pretty game

what are these attraction/form changes, did they just throw that in or was there something similar in an older game?

I miss drive forms

for just starting out I’m feelin pretty strong

fighting titans for your first boss pretty cool

this tornado sucks

oh NOW I’m in kh3

how will I even know if I’m even making progress to getting the power of waking back

twilight towns pretty small, cool theres people though

these people really love the bistro..

guess we’re not goin in the mansion

why are these food mini games broken up so much, the second it starts its over shoulda put multiple together or make them longer (I wont be coming back here)

toy story world looks cool, being small in a big world

being outside really looks nice

tell me where the lucky emblem is you goofy bitch (it was the leaves infront of the door

fighting these figures, gonna hop in one, hop in one at every opportunity cause why wouldn't you

dont really like fighting in these, lemme go back to pressing x

im not trying to form change or ride the teacups I just wanna open the chest

how tf did all the toys get away that fast

buzz being an asshole but I’m sure something will happen to him

oh the whole level is in here, man I wanna go back outside..

The doll boss is really nice looking, shout out to the designer

shooting star keyblade really doin work

the dialogue in this game is ridiculous

oh shit there goes young xxxenanort

I am really not tryna do this whole video game shit in the mech thing

woody you goin off right now but its still ridiculous

did I make any kinda progress in anything, dont feel like it

I’ve now realized that this list would be way too long so lets shorten this a bit

Kingdom of Corona: I should probably watch tangled

Monstropolis: can we please get this girl in her damn door, jesus

cant vanitas just teleport back

Arendelle: oh she’s singin the whole dam song, oh fuck she is too

get me outta here

“That sounds like olaf”

I didn’t even know Hans or whatever was the wolf with so little he was even in so I probably blinked and missed it.

This wolf is waaay too cool for this guy.

The Carribean: *on the ship* oh they know people hated this place lmaoo

please get me outta this water

why am I collecting crabs

does whats goin on make no sense or am I just an idiot

these boat battles okay, could be a lot worse

how is this boat moving in this whirlpool thing

idk who any of you are and whats going on and I’m sure it doesnt matter

cool keyblade

San Fransokyo: nice fighting on the bridge

oo I can just run up all these buildings, wish I could just a bit faster

man baymax sucks

this cube boss really aint doin much but whatever

rikus here, whatever

I’ve never held r2 more in my life probably

The keyblade graveyard

this is where the game starts

I “die” and have to collect my pieces? ok, at least better than the crabs

okay round 2

“Looks like you need some help”

OH SHIT

would probably not have known what was going on without that article I read. cool having the names from union x

at some point I could actually move, I didnt know and almost died

man, nier automata was great

I guess this is why no organization members fought me ever before

pretty cool, havent even fought everyone here before ive played very few kingdom hearts games

xigbars fine

wtf is your deal larxene

young xxxenanort and the boys

get fucked, kairi. (did she even do anything ever)

now to fight old man xenoblade, I went into his heart or somethin idk

oh I’m in that place

goat simulator 2019

am not fuckin with this gravity stuff, but mashing x and occasionally square and triangle has not failed me yet

I’m really fighting underwater again

oh he made me go into rage form

alright the part after this im not gonna lie I was dyin a couple times, my timing was bad

its finally over

TL;DR just general thoughts

game is very good looking, think that much is clear

didn’t feel like I was really doing anything until keyblade graveyard

“You never lost the power of waking it was just asleep” smh

wtf are they even saying most the time

wtf is demyx

cool bosses:doll,wolf,aqua

feels weird beating this on proud knowing there’s nothing harder and not having much trouble in general, even if I wouldnt tackle a critical mode myself

these were some long cutscenes

I forgot about summons most of the time but thats probably my own fault

forgot about the focus thing too outside of needing to airstep

all the keyblades coming to help was probably the coolest thing for me

I started off with some strong abilities, thought I wouldnt get anything cool til way later

I put in a good effort (to me at least) to play with a decent understanding of whats going on story wise and this shit is unnecessarily convoluted, but I’m also an idiot.

To sum up everything, game looks nice

#I needed to waste some time #anyways dmc is soon

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wishbone-md · 6 years

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An MS3 Guide to Internal Medicine Wards

I want to do internal medicine. I scoured the internet for guides on how to knock this rotation out of the park. Here is yet another take on how one can do well on this rotation, even if you don’t want to do IM.

I ended up honoring it and making 92nd percentile on the shelf. There will be a separate post on how to prepare for the shelf.

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Preparation

I got up early every morning to preround on my patients. When I first started rotation, I started off with one patient. I typically carried 3 patients and went up to 4 towards the end of my rotation. Get there earlier than you think you need because it sucks to scramble to prepare your notes for rounds only to find out that the plan for the patient changed in the interim. I got to the hospital around 7:15 for 9 AM rounds.

If your institution still uses paper lists, print copies of the list for everyone on the team and make sure to have the most updated version for the attending.

Read up on your patients on Up To Date. This will help you on pimping and on the shelf. If you have a new patient to present, you can shine by looking up differentials for your patient’s symptoms and presenting them. You can also check out all the treatment options on UTD and present the main ones as well. The key to standing out on rounds is being the one to put yourself out there to propose a plan for the patient, even if it ends up being wrong. It’s easy to just regurgitate what your resident’s note says. At least you tried to integrate your previous basic science knowledge with the clinical side.

The topic of studying will be covered in another post.

Rounds

Have your presentations down cold. There are many guides online on this topic such as this one by @pleasedotheneedfulhttp://pleasedotheneedful.tumblr.com/post/149283514726/how-to-write-a-cohesive-patient-notepresen-tation

It’s hard to figure out each attendings’ preferences such as how detailed they want you to be on the presentation or if they like walking rounds. Ask around within your class, the MS4s, or the residents.

For the most part, they want focused presentations that concentrate more on the plan for the patient. Some want to know all of the labs and vitals. Some want only the highlights. You also need time to read all of the consult notes to see their recommendations.

Know when to ask questions. Always try to look up the answer to your question if you have time before bothering anyone with it. Definitely keep them to a minimum if it’s a post call day and your list is long. If I was getting pimped, then I would be more likely to ask more follow up questions around then because that means we’re in education mode. You want to ask enough questions to where you appear engaged but not so much to where it gets annoying. But don’t be afraid to ask questions even if it’s really busy if it will impact patient care. I tend to ask questions while walking in the hall during walking rounds but I also ask during table rounds depending on the vibe of the room.

Pimping. It is okay to not know the answer. Always try to make a guess, even if it’s a stretch. I have said I don’t know plenty of times. I’ve seen fourth years who don’t know the answer. I’ve seen residents and fellows who don’t know the answer. Most attendings I’ve dealt with have been pretty nice if I don’t know. I think pimping can be good so that it it keeps me on my toes since the fear of God is put in me. A great phrase is “I don’t know but I will find out and we can discuss it later on.” I remember questions I’ve gotten right and especially the ones I’ve gotten wrong that everyone else on the team knew except for me.

Making a good impression

Ask for feedback. I get super anxious about possibly hearing negative things so I hate doing this. At my school, preceptors evaluate you on if you asked for feedback, how you handle criticism, and if you actually tried to improve. Try to ask 2 weeks in or so about what can you work on to improve things like your presentation, differentials, treatments plans, history collection, ect. They will notice if you step it up or if you continue on. They will definitely notice you if you slack off after getting good feedback initially.

It’s not just about impressing the attending. The residents and especially the senior resident are the ones in contact with you the most. I only interacted with the attending on morning rounds. The residents give their feedback to the attending for your evaluation. Yes, we are close in age to the residents and yes it’s great to have fun at work. I love joking around and have an occasional streak of dark humor but I don’t swear, talk about the times I’ve been intoxicated, complain about the work we have to do, or complain too much about the patients.

Don’t freaking text during rounds, especially while in a patient room. Yes, people still are getting in trouble for that.

After rounds

Check on your patients. Most patients and their families don’t really know what’s going on because we storm in there as a group during rounds and then abruptly leave. It’s always great to double back and check their understanding of what’s going on. You as the student are usually the person on the team that’s the closest to the patient in terms o medical knowledge. Once they have an understanding of the disease process and why we treat them with whatever treatment, then they can hopefully keep it up after discharge.

Stay organized. I had a patient list that I wrote notes on during rounds of things to do particularly focusing on my patients but including things to do for other patients. The residents will really appreciate it if you help update the list, remind them of orders that need to be put in, and notify them of any results/consults you’re waiting for. So I refreshed my patient charts all day long to make sure everything was there. When we see an abnormal critical result or consult recommendations and update the residents, we are helping to expedite care.

I really can’t stand doing random clerical stuff like making appointments or filling out paperwork but just make yourself volunteer to do it. My school is trying to cut back on using medical students for this.

Do not lie. If you didn’t check something on your physical exam or forgot to ask a question, own up to it. It’s embarrassing but it’s better than being caught in a lie or your made up information ends up affecting the treatment plan. You won’t get any more responsibility if they can’t trust you.

Extra

Read the literature. My attending specifically mentioned that he expects this from honors level students. This is how you step up your game. You want to show that you are trying to elevate your knowledge. You’ll definitely get style points for referencing the literature when you propose your treatment plan by citing statistically significant results from randomized control trials. For example, one of my patients had refractory C diff that wasn’t responding to traditional antibiotics of vanc per rectum and PO with metronidazole or with fecal transplants. So I needed to step up and look into other options that we can talk about on rounds. I read some articles on newer therapies that were compared to gold standard therapies. I summarized the studies in a few sentences so that everyone can be on the same page. Then we talked pros and cons. Another example is that if your patient is on some newer drug you’ve never heard of, you can look up what it is, the mechanism of action, and major indications. Then present a very brief FYI on it as it will help educate your team. Definitely be cautious as to how often and when you try to educate others as it may come off as overbearing or if it may put your team behind schedule. You do not want to appear as a know it all or that you like to hear yourself talk because it’s hard to shake that impression.

Preclinical material professors seem to like gunners, at least in my experience. It’s way different in the clinical setting because you’re surrounded by people who’ve been in the game longer than you. All of us know how to pick out a gunner. So word will spread fast if you’re terrible to work with and then you end up on the Do-Not-Rank list.

You are not going to get a thank you for everything you do. Don’t take it personally. Except if someone takes credit for your work, so in that case they can fuck right off.

The <1/15/50/85 rule. A fantastic pimp deflector. If you are being pimped on some statistic and the pretest probability seems to be very low, say < 1%. Low probability then 15%. For example, if someone asks you what percentage of strokes are ischemic and you feel pretty confident that the vast majority of them are ischemic, then say 85%. Usually you’ll be pretty close.

The most important things

The most important thing is to advocate for your patient, regardless if an attending is around. 100% of students has thought about how they wish an attending could have seen how hard you work day in and day out but that’s not gonna actually happen much. The patient will remember how you treated them and all the things you did to help them.

Teamwork makes the dream work. Even if you can’t stand people on your team, you have to suck it up because the ultimate goal is patient care.

It is okay to take some time off to yourself. Some nights, all you can really do is watch TV and drink wine on a post call day or after doing not that well on a quiz you didn’t have time to prepare for because you’re freaking exhausted working 6 days a week.

#med school #internal medicine #medicine #ms3 #clerkship

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partlycharlie-archive · 6 years

Text

ep: things leo does; by jason grace

chapter 2. aftermath link to chapter 1

summary: 2. hey, mom? okay, there's this guy named leo, and i'm in love with him. wait - wait, you knew that already? well. fuck. wait! aha - i bet anything you didn't know he was in love with me, now did you? yeah, i thought - fuck. word count: 2,051 warnings: mention of cannibalism (not serious), mention of DDLB/NSAP, morse code a/n: valentines chapter because i’m a sucker for the babe :/ read on ao3

5. taps out messages in morse code when he thinks no one is paying attention

Two short taps. One short, one long, two short. One long, one short, two long. Rinse and repeat.

Three letters.

Jason’s sure nobody else has noticed - Leo tapping his fingers in what seems to be a random pattern is nothing new, and his eyes track Chiron’s movements with what seems to be laser focus.

He likes to think he knows Leo better, by now.

Jason thinks back on his old Morse training (“Why do I have to know this?” “Just in case.” “What the hell kind of situation requires us to tap Morse code to each other when we have fucking mouths?”) - laborious months of bullshit memorizing that he never used on quests, but damn if it isn’t coming in handy now.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

ILY.

Jason jerks up in his seat, avoiding Leo’s eyes when his fingers stop tapping and he glances over, obviously concerned.

Leo’s mouth quirks up into a tiny smirk - how the fuck does he manage to lift only a corner of his mouth, and still convey so much? It’s fucking adorable, and Jason hates it - and he focuses back onto Chiron, who is trotting across the front of the room with a vaguely frustrated expression on his face.

Leo’s fingers continue their tapping, slim fingers pressing coded messages into the tabletop.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

One short, three long. J

One short, one long. A

Three short. S

Three long. O

One long, one short -

“Alright, any questions?” Chiron asks suddenly, raising his voice to attract the attention of any heads whose heads are drooping (Jason tries not to feel guilty - fails - whatever.). “No? Alright, dismissed.”

Jason glances at Leo, who is standing up like nothing’s changed, slapping his hands on the table like nothing’s changed, brushing a hand down his jeans like nothing’s changed, turning to leave like nothing’s -

You get the point.

Okay, so Leo had spelled out ILY JASO- something. That something was either a K, a D, a Y, a C, an X, a B, or…

An N.

Was it too much of a stretch to think he might have been spelling out JASON? Zeus knows it wasn’t JASOD, anyway.

Fuck.

6. acts like a child when he gets tired*

* leo doesn’t get tired.

“… so the chip attaches to this port -” Leo yawns, and then shakes his head to clear it up, “ - and so it becomes able to track -” another yawn, “ - the movements -”

“Leo?” Jason asks, tilting his head slowly. Leo glances up, blinking blearily (ha, alliteration) up at him.

“Yeah?”

Jason smiles fondly, unable to hold back his reaction to an evidently tired Leo.

“You look tired. Ready for bed?”

Leo shakes his head again, more rapidly this time, and his curly hair flops around with his movements. He blinks a few more times, then opens his eyes as far as he can. “Nuh-uh,” he says, with an expression like a guilty child.

Yeah, right. Even Jason’s tired, and Leo likes to call him Superman - mostly because he looks like a blond version of him, but also because he’s basically superhuman. Jason doesn’t really get tired.

“Yuh-huh. C’mon, let’s head to my cabin. It’s too late, I don’t want to wake the Hephy kids up.”

Leo shakes his head with a petulant expression, narrowing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. With arms crossed, he mutters, “Nuh. Uh.”

Jason raises an eyebrow and nods to himself for a second, fighting back an amused smile at Leo’s behavior. “Alright, you’ve got a couple of options,” he relents, watching with the fond grin that he hadn’t been able to restrain as Leo slowly relaxes, nodding with lingering suspicion still present on his face. “You can either get up and walk with me, or I pick you up. Your choice.”

Leo sighs heavily, tipping his head back and huffing out another breath through his nose. “Fine.”

Jason stands, hovering for a few seconds. He frowns as suspiciously as he can manage when Leo doesn’t stand up like Jason thought he would, instead slouching further into his seat with hands outstretched, as if…

… he wants Jason to pick him up. Of course he does.

“You’re a fucking baby, y’know that?”

Leo shrugs, a carefree smile on his face. “Yup.”

Jason sighs indulgently. “Yeah, of course you do. Alright, we’re doing piggyback, because we both know - despite how incredibly underweight you are - there’s no way I’ll be able to hold you on my damn hip or whatever for the amount of time it’ll take us to get back to the cabin.”

Leo nods and Jason turns his back to the shorter teenager, crouching on the balls of his feet with his hands outstretched behind him. As carefully as he can manage (which isn’t saying a lot, considering how fucking delirious he seems to be), Leo tucks his legs into the slots of Jason’s hips and he stands up, chuckling softly when Leo yelps behind him.

He regains his balance, though, and wraps lanky arms around Jason to rest in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“Good to go?”

Leo says nothing, merely nods against the shoulder he’s already starting to fall asleep on - not that Jason expected anything less.

“¡Dios mio, las luces!” he cries almost immediately, shoving his face into the back of Jason’s shirt. [t - Oh my god, the lights!]

Jason can’t stifle the chuckle that escapes him - okay, so maybe he forgot to tell Leo it was basically morning, but. Who could blame him? He’d been… distracted. By Leo. And his hands. And his hair. And his smile. And his laugh. And his -

You see? It just happened again. Totally not his fault.

Definitely.

"Sorry, love," he says, trying and failing to sound truly apologetic. (Did he just say love in reference to Leo? He’s not going to think about that.) "Afraid I can't turn these lights off."

A groan spills its way out of Leo's mouth, sounding suspiciously like a "Why not?" but with a lot more vowels, probably.

"Well," he starts, the fond amusement (he’s fond way too often when it comes to Leo, damn it) probably ridiculously evident in his voice, "there's this thing in the sky - now, don't get too excited - called the sun. Totally crazy, right? It -"

Leo's left hand knocks harshly against his temple. "Asshole."

"- even makes this wild thing called - wait for it - light! It's pretty fuckin' awesome, if I may say so myself."

Leo sighs. "You may not," he grumbles, and Jason can feel the fluttering of the other boy's eyelashes against his neck. He fights back a shiver at the surprisingly intimate feeling and tries to concentrate on getting them to his cabin.

"Hey, dad?" he murmurs, words slurred through a heavy tongue. Jason opens his mouth to answer, but -

Wait.

What?

He freezes.

Mentally, of course, because otherwise Leo would know something was up, and he was so close to falling asleep, and Jason really didn't want him realizing what he said, because it'd turn into a whole production, and Leo would never get to sleep, and then... you get the idea.

But - anyway. Back to the matter at hand:

Dad?

Is that, like, a kink thing?

Jason remembers reading up on kinks (it was a late night and too many Wikipedia articles, sue him), and he's pretty sure daddy kinks are a thing.

(Eugh. He shudders at the thought. Yikes.)

But - that didn't sound like a sexy Dad word. What would a sexy Dad word sound like? It'd probably be Daddy and not Dad, for one.

Oh, gods.

He's getting off track.

Jason decides, as any sane (teenager) semi-mortal would do, to completely ignore the last word of Leo's sentence. "What's up, squirt?"

Okay, what the fuck?

He definitely meant to say Leo, or maybe bro, as regular teenage boys do, but squirt? Gods, Jason's out of his mind.

Maybe it's because Leo's way heavier than he looks. Who knows.

"'m tired."

Jason resists the urge to fist pump the air, instead pulling Leo onto his hip for ease of motion.

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Don't worry, we're almost there."

7. has horrible grammar when he texts (no, it doesn’t annoy jason)

[17:49] leo_valdez: wht do u want 2 do 4 dins 2nite

[17:55] jason_grace: Salmon with asparagus and rice?

[17:58] leo_valdez: damn chef grace out here [17:58] leo_valdez: yeah boi

[17:59] jason_grace: Okay, cool.

[18:38] jason_grace: Hey, Percy said he’d cook. Cool with you?

[18:43] leo_valdez: yeah np

[18:45] jason_grace: He might take a while, though, so I think we’ll be eating late tonight :/

[18:45] leo_valdez: ye its fine i ate late 2day

[22:24] jason_grace: How’s it smelling over there? I’m hungryy

[22:30] leo_valdez: lol i cant smell anything

[22:31] jason_grace: Omg lol. Do you think it’s your poor sense of smell smell or that nothing is cooking??? Haha

[22:31] leo_valdez: both lmfaooo

[22:32] jason_grace: Lol, okay.

[23:11] jason_grace: 11:11!

[23:14] leo_valdez: my wish is 2 eat

[23:15] jason_grace: Mood [23:19] jason_grace: I’ve died a million hungry deaths already. I may start to eat paper any minute. [23:19] jason_grace: It’s organic, right???

[23:20] leo_valdez: yeah totes gotta get on that #vegan #organic #freerange #localwoodonly trend [23:20] leo_valdez: ykno this shirt is made out f cotton????? thts a crop i cld totally eat this

[23:22] jason_grace: As long as you take tiny bites like a rabbit.

[23:22] leo_valdez: yeahhhhhhh [23:23] leo_valdez: i s2g im gonna eat percy if he doesnt tell me its fuckin ready soon

[23:23] jason_grace: Wait what’s s2g again? [23:23] jason_grace: Oh, nom.

[23:23] leo_valdez: swear to god

[23:23] jason_grace: Nvm*

[23:23] leo_valdez: NOM NOM I HUNGRY

[23:24] jason_grace: Lolzzzz.

[23:24] leo_valdez: thnks jace u rly gotta remind me ://////

[23:24] jason_grace: He’d probably be pretty tasty. [23:24] jason_grace: Remind you of what?

[23:24] leo_valdez: how hUNGRY I AM

[23:25] jason_grace: Nom nom nom I have no other words.

[23:25] leo_valdez: nom [mood in hungryspeak]

[23:26] jason_grace: Me nom.

[23:26] leo_valdez: i just saw th word omw and rly tht it said nom im losing my mind over here

[23:27] jason_grace: Our bellies could have been full hours ago. Savage.

[23:27] leo_valdez: ikr [23:27] leo_valdez: horrible

[23:29] jason_grace: Are tears edible???

[23:29] leo_valdez: hopefully im producing way 2 many of thm

[23:30] jason_grace: Sip slowly, I don’t want you getting full before we eat.

[23:30] leo_valdez: i gotchu [23:31] leo_valdez: trying 2 remind myself tht festus 2.0 is a living being and im not ready 2 b a murderer

[23:34] jason_grace: Oh honey. He wouldn’t be tasty. Too much fur.

[23:34] leo_valdez: u rite u rigt

[23:34] jason_grace: What were we thinking??? We know Percy well enough by now lmao. Sigh. Burp. Ugh.

[23:36] leo_valdez: im crying salmon

[23:37] jason_grace: Oh noooo why’d you have to say salmon?????

[23:38] leo_valdez: LMAOOOO

8. loves jason grace

Okay, okay.

You gotta keep this one a secret until Jason finds his journal again, okay? He doesn’t know I took it.

I’ve read through it a couple of times, and - damn is Jace a fucking sap. It’s a pity I love him.

No it’s not, who am I kidding.

Aha! That’s the first time I’ve written it down since I realized (which was… too long ago for me to feel comfortable admitting to).

If you didn’t get that, Jason: I love you, you piece of shit.

Ugh.

Fuck, whatever, maybe this thing is a prank and he doesn’t actually love me. Maybe this is a hallucination? Dad knows I’ve been spending way too much time in the Bunker, anyways. Maybe… who knows, honestly.

God, I’m tired.

Whatever. I hope he finds this soon, I’m tired of waiting, for Christ's sake.

See you soon, hopefully.

- leo valdez, the one & only

I love you too, Leo.

#partlycharlie #my fic #percy jackson #valgrace #@caitlyn #fun times #yeet

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dykedykegooses · 6 years

Note

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

#grabsthesun #lesbian ask game #i love and hate you

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wiccanery · 7 years

Text

replying to @redcherrieblossoms who replied to this post (sorry folks, this is going to be long. The rest under the cut because yea

Right so "wiccanery" youre not wiccan yet thats your username on here. And yeah witch craft isn't closed yet when people do it for "aesthetic" I consider that appropriating. You had a chance educate people on shit and you chose to make it a quick 15 seconds of fame. I didn't say anything about the practice being a closed one. Its hilarious to me that youve been somewhat a witch for 2 years and you think you know so much as to have an article. There are witches who have been practicing solitary and in covens for ages and either still dont write about it or are discredited for a small thing they say. But its ok. The few people who do know well enough will see that you failed to mention anything about sigils. Do you even know what sigils are? I remember my second year of witchcraft i knew so little about it that i didnt even care to talk about it. Theres a lot to learn and im not saying you shouldnt voice what you do know but the article came off as childish and uninformed. Next time you get an opportunity like that. Take your time and plan what you say. Talk to other witches. Perhaps youre solitary but id suggest you look into covens because they can teach you way more than you think you can learn. Yeah a lot of witches dont cast circles but you should have given that option so that people can decide for themselves if they want to do it. Misinformation about such a minute detail is more important than you think.

Ok, I’m going to address this by parts.

“Right so "wiccanery" youre not wiccan yet thats your username on here.” Yes. I started as a Wiccan, chose that name, and now I’m not Wiccan but I don’t feel like changing my username as I have many things linked across my whole blog and it’s a pain in the ass to change it again. Plus, I like how it sounds, and I like to make it think as “wicce” which is ancient english for witch if I remember correctly.

“And yeah witch craft isn't closed yet when people do it for "aesthetic" I consider that appropriating.” That’s your problem, because considering the meaning and the rest of examples of appropriation, most of the community I think wouldn’t agree. But you’re free to believe whatever you want, so be it. I don’t like it being used as a trend or as “aesthetic”, but apart from informing, there’s not much we can do (that’s what I was intending with the article).

“You had a chance educate people on shit and you chose to make it a quick 15 seconds of fame.” Ok, I don’t consider it a 15 minutes of fame thing. People had already approached me. I only do what feels right and try to shed a light on stuff, which is what I did. It’s not like I live off from this blog either or some shit like that. Also, what the fuck am I supposed to do if someone approaches me asking about stuff?! “No, I haven’t been a witch for X years yet so I can’t answer or do interviews”. Fuck that. I wanted to help, and it was a simple subject.

“I didn't say anything about the practice being a closed one.” You said i make it seem as cultural appropriation, and cultural appropriation is something suffered by closed practices (which neo wicca and witchcraft aren’t).

“Its hilarious to me that youve been somewhat a witch for 2 years and you think you know so much as to have an article.“ You don’t know a thing about me. Why are you so bitchy about it? I’ve been actively practicing for more than 2, but learning for 5 or so, but I consider myself (and a lot of people I know do too) as a fast learner so I don’t have much trouble absorbing lots of information. I have an article (two actually, because someone else had also interviewed me a while ago) because I made a post about emoji spells trying to shed a light on what it was and how it works as at that time I had seen many floating around (this post here). People evidently got a hang of it and they come up to me thinking I am super knowledgable on the subject. It’s very simple so there isn’t much knowledge to acquire, it’s not like energy work which is very extensive (and I’m not so well versed in it), so I was more than willing to help.

“There are witches who have been practicing solitary and in covens for ages and either still dont write about it or are discredited for a small thing they say.“ Okay, I don’t do what I do based on what others of my similar position do. I do whatever I feel, and if I feel I can help, I do it. And if they get discredited, I’m so sorry for that, no one should have that happen to them, as everyone perceives their practice as their own and people shouldn’t boss around others’ practices telling them it’s “wrong” if it works for them. If they make valid points, they should be welcomed for their contribution. If they have a wrong idea (i.e. thinking wicca and witchcraft are the same for example, of course they should be educated on the subject).

“But its ok. The few people who do know well enough will see that you failed to mention anything about sigils. Do you even know what sigils are?“ I’m sure you haven’t seen the original post I made that sparked a lot of the emoji spells and being approached for that. I linked it before. You’ll see that I mention that emoji spells work very much like sigils, and if you were bothered to look a bit through my blog, you would have seen that I recommend sigils to most people who come in asking for help, as it’s very easy and simple magic and anyone with pen and paper can do them. I love sigils and I love making them. This validates my previous point that you don’t know nothing about me (apart from skimming through my blog and probably reading my about me page). The reason why I didn’t mention it in this article is because I forgot... People forget things all the time, and I was in a rush when the interviewer approached me so I just concentrated on the emoji subject and my mind left out pretty much the rest.

“I remember my second year of witchcraft i knew so little about it that i didnt even care to talk about it.“ Well, that’s you and your path. I’m in my whatever (second, apparently, it feels like more) year of witchcraft and I feel I have learned so much, but that there’s still so much to learn. I’m willing to help out anyone who approaches me and asks about a subject I know about (if I just know a little, I tell them that little I know about and direct them to other sources); and if I don’t know about, I try to find information and/or direct them to other places so at least I can be of some help. If you didn’t feel like talking about it, then that’s on you, why do I have to be like you?

“Theres a lot to learn and im not saying you shouldnt voice what you do know but the article came off as childish and uninformed.“ I didn’t write it and I didn’t edit it either; I’m pretty sure they made it to be a friendly approach, which may sound childish to some. I just answered the questions that they asked to the best of my knowledge, and considering there isn’t much depth to emoji spells, there isn’t much to say.

“Next time you get an opportunity like that. Take your time and plan what you say.“ I mean, I did think it out, I took my time to answer it, but there isn’t much to add to that subject, as I said. And I wasn’t part of how the final result was. I was just interviewed.

“Talk to other witches. Perhaps youre solitary but id suggest you look into covens because they can teach you way more than you think you can learn.“ Again, you don’t know a thing about me. I’m not in any coven irl because there’s none in my area, but I talk to many witches online all the time in the various witchy servers I’m in, and I try to help out anyone over there. Sure, I always learn new stuff, be it from reading things that are posted or checking on people’s questions and tagging along, which is amazing and why I love being in those servers.

“Yeah a lot of witches dont cast circles but you should have given that option so that people can decide for themselves if they want to do it. Misinformation about such a minute detail is more important than you think.“ If you read the post I made, you would have seen that I added the idea that you can opt for not using the circle, which apparently I had left out before (my bad), but now it’s there, and in the interview, they asked me if the circle was mandatory, to which I replied that no, it wasn’t, and you can opt for using it or not. I posted the article and added a note at the bottom if you care to read it (read it here). Personally, I disapprove of the decision of not including that in the article (the fact that you can choose not to use the circle, that is), but I’m not in the editing team, so I can’t do anything (and I have absolutely no idea how to reply on snapchat stories, I don’t even think it’s possible).

At this moment I just feel you’re bitching just because, which I honestly don’t get. If you have a grudge with me or anything, send me a PM letting me know why, or do whatever you want. Have a nice day!

#discourse #redcherrieblossoms

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