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vitaminseetarot · 9 months

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Perseid PAC Pick a Fruit: What Blessings Are About to Shower Upon Your Life? 🌠

Hey, hey, listen! [/navi]

Did you know we're gonna have an insanely wonderful Perseid meteor shower on August 13th?! It'll be somewhere in the ballpark of, I dunno, 200 meteors passing an hour?! And the moon will be dark so they will be perfectly visible! So time to grab your favorite lantern, unroll the sleeping bag, and pray for some clear skies cause the night will be sparkling like champagne ~

In the event that you don't see the showers (city light pollution go brrr), their blessings will still be felt by all as they pass over us like benevolent winged unicorns. So I'm gonna do for you a quick PAC to find out what kind of blessing you will receive around this time. The blessings may be small and sweet, but it might just make you smile and look up.

Some of these piles were heavier than anticipated, so please note that blessings come in all shapes and sizes like these fruits below.

🍌🍊🍎🍌🍊🍎🍌🍊🍎🍌🍊🍎🍌🍊🍎🍌🍊🍎

Pile 1: Banana 🍌

[XIII Death, XI Justice, 5 of Cups; Markab, Debilitated - Discomfort, 1. Vision- Contemplating the Future]

This pile reminded me of old crime shows I watched ages ago like "Cold Case Files" as well as "Medium". The shows were all about resolving difficult cases to the very end. Even when the solution was found, the perp was eventually taken in, and the ghost wandered off to the afterlife, there always was a lingering sadness around each episode. Because the entire show premise and episode would not exist if it weren't for these characters experiencing injustice well before the script's running and the camera's rolling.

Your blessing is that you will have the chance to close out something that was left unresolved for a very long time. It's not going to bother you anymore. Without that sense of revenge, you're getting even. Maybe there were fights, or maybe it was just lost information, but you will ultimately feel a sense of closure from this. I read that there's really nothing you need to do at this time to facilitate this blessing. It will come on its own time. Once it does, you may feel it in the form of healthy grieving, of having a good cry. This release may be uncomfortable but it's necessary for allowing the chapter to finally end for good, so let it flow. (Try listening to "Before the Dawn" by Magnetude & Julia Marks, I always play it during rough times.)

I'm getting that you already understand this to be the next step, but I can give you assurance that it's okay to feel bittersweet about it. This isn't a typical blessing, but there is a newfound freedom to be found here. Your Justice card features the Statue of Liberty, and your ethereal orb card Markab talks about liberty as well: "You have outgrown your old skin, now it's time to utilize your wings." It seems rocky right now but trust that you are on the right path. This closure will give you the chance to transform your life and move ahead.

You're being asked to spend more energy looking to what you want to do after this is over than worrying about the closure. There are new doors opening for you, and you have the choice to go down many different paths. You're being asked to specifically consider about where you want to be one year from now, and work from there. The banana you picked is shaped like the waning crescent moon in your card, but it's also a symbol of fertility. Banana reminds you that endings imply beginnings.

If you also feel drawn to pile 3, you can check it out for further guidance as it has a similar message.

Pile 2: Mandarin 🍊

[Queen of Wands, 10 of Cups, 3 of Wands; Sirius, Jupiter - Abundance, II Resources]

What a tasty pile we got here pile 2, cause it looks like with mandarin, you're getting a taste of the sweet life. Your blessing is gonna be a huge boost to your personal confidence. It could be that someone is coming to you with a work offer, one who is bright and charismatic. Or perhaps the fire is being lit from within you. This person could have what it takes to fund your project, for example, or may be enthusiastic to work with you. Your creative potential is being highlighted here. You're onto something good!

It's great seeing the 10 of cups smack in the middle of your reading, but look closely. 10 of cups is not behaving like its usual contented self. The real rainbow is at the end of the road and right now, you're being given some green light signals to move ahead towards your destination. Even though this surge of self-esteem is going to feel really really great in the beginning, ultimately it's to serve the higher purpose of guiding you to your next assignment. This energy is the start towards setting down the foundations for something amazing.

Your ethereal orb card Sirius reads: "Offer me direction and exhibit my intention, my head is full of dreams and my existence is a fantasy." Perhaps your mind is swimming in all the wonderful possibilities that could arise from this encounter or event. But you're not meant to stay in this energy forever. Savor it, praise it in gratitude, then pack your bags and be ready to march out at dawn. If you're able to keep up the momentum, it will likely result in further blessings. But you will need to stay on track and not let it all get to your head.

You will need to keep yourself from getting too emotionally overwhelmed from this blessing. Jupiter can mean "a lot" of anything, which can cause us to feel dizzy from the sudden luck. As if you're struggling to believe if it's true. And it's good to be wary of "too good to be true" scenarios, but once you look closely at the finer details, you can proceed. The key is to stick with what's true for you and to not compromise for somebody else's vision, as it's just too soon for anyone but yourself to get involved with what you're working on, but be open to support from the outside. You can move forward with both optimism and grounded judgment.

Pile 3: Apple 🍎

[8 of Cups, Queen of Coins, X Wheel of Fortune; Athaya, Capricorn - Achieve, 2. Dominance - Believe in Yourself]

Pile 3, when I was shuffling your tarot deck I got very tense before drawing 8 of cups. Like a wound rubber band waiting to snap. Please make sure to go out on walks or you're exercising to let off some steam. You seem currently stressed out about something that has long overstayed its welcome. It's something you may deeply cherish about in some way but is draining you rather than helping you grow. It may be the very apple of your eye, but it's really poisoning you at this point. There's a sore spot that keeps getting pushed. An event may have happened recently which caused you to say, "that's it!" and storm off only to feel bad about doing so.

Don't be! The blessing here is that as soon as you drop whatever is bugging you and weighing you down, you're going to feel so much lighter. Like being lifted from the gravity of the earth for a moment. You will be propelled into an eventful and fun new chapter in your life, and you're being given the inner drive to do this. The initial blessing is gonna be a feeling of a massive weight being lifted from your shoulders and a chance to breathe. Once this happens, and you've taken care of a few loose ends, you'll be in a better position to receive greater blessings down the road. I see 1010 in your cards so look for this number as a confirmation that you're on the way towards success.

You're being asked to take personal responsibility and control for your life, but the keyword is your life. Do not take responsibility for this weird old baggage unless you actually need to talk it out with a person or make amends, but that's not what I'm reading here. This is more like if a person joined a fitness group and made good new memories and connections only to be forced to leave it behind. Maybe the fitness group was a cult all along, maybe the teacher was spreading damned lies and statistics about nutritional health, maybe there were a lot of disagreements, and it got to where you had to leave it behind just to feel any relief.

Your ethereal orb card Athaya reads: "Duality teaches us that in order to love we must bind together what differentiates us." When I read this I heard the lyrics "if you love me let me go". Sometimes holding on to what we cherish too tightly can cause it to slip quickly from our grasp when we least expect it. They were great memories, but you have so many amazing new memories waiting for you. Once you're in a position to prioritize your life first, to get your needs met, and focus on practical matters, then opportunities will be flooding in for you. Moving on won't be as hard as you think when life moves you to a better place.

If you feel drawn to pile 1, you can check it out for further guidance as there are similar messages.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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soulkeeper801 · 1 year

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Silly Crush pt 2

Im Nayeon x f!reader

smut

Y/N has a little crush on a sunbae that gets a bit too far for Nayeon’s liking.

Part 1

Nayeon grabbed your hair, pulling you towards her and making you arch your back.

“You’re mine,” she growled in your ear as she pounded deep against you, a hand on your hip to keep you in place.

To remind you where you belonged.

She knew she didn’t have anything to worry about. You were going strong for almost a year now and never felt threatened by anything or anyone. Not even when her company tried to ban the relationship. The ups and downs brought you two together closer than ever and the love that you had for each other made her trust you blindly.

But the moment your ultimate crush not only noticed you but also showed interest in meeting you, she felt she had to protect what’s hers. You wouldn’t dare to leave her, would you?

“Are you listening to me?” she hissed in your ear, the hand that was holding you down left a loud slap on your ass.

“Y-yes,” you stuttered, a tear threatening to fall due to the almost unbearable pleasure you were feeling.

Nayeon pulled the strap on almost all the way out just to slap herself against you again, making you moan her name out loud.

“No one else gets to bend you over and fuck you like this,” she groaned, grabbing your hip to bring you closer with each thrust, “Say it”.

“No one,” you said in a whimper, feeling her moving faster against you, “only you, babe, only y-you”.

Nayeon’s thrusts became rougher, hitting the right spots, making you lose your senses out of pleasure. She owned you and both of you knew it.

“Come for me, pretty thing,” she whispered lovingly, after leaving a kiss on your naked shoulder and you felt your release taking over.

She pulled out after a couple of seconds, making you groan at the sensation. You turned around and met her eyes. They adored you, filled with love as a small smile adorned her face. She placed her arms on each side of your head, still between your legs, the tip of her strap teasing your folds once again.

Her lips looked for yours in a hungry kiss as her tongue entered your mouth to keep tasting you. She lowered her kisses to your jaw, your neck where she nibbled your skin leaving faint marks that reminded you who you belonged to.

“Only mine,” she growled looking directly at your eyes, before she aligned her strap to your entrance to take you one more time.

“Why is Y/N’s heart rate going so high?!” a very surprised MC asked as he watched the numbers on the little screen changing rapidly as Nayeon stood in front of you only giving you a wide smile.

A bunch of idols had been invited to a special end of the year episode of a very well known variety show. The last activity of the episode was the infamous bpm monitoring, where they had a guy trying to raise your heartbeat in order to win a prize.

“This should be easy,” he confidently said as he fixed his hair with his hands before throwing you a seductive look.

Your heart rate dropped to 73, pulling a loud laugh from the other attendees. One of the MCs clapped in his face and pushed him back to his seat. The tall guy smiled awkwardly as the guys next to him patted his back.

Another guy stepped in with a shy smile, “I’m kinda nervous,” he said, making you giggle.

Your heart rate raised a bit and everyone roared at your reaction. The encouragement made the guy boldly go for your hand and hold it, while looking at your eyes.

However your heart rate dropped again and you raised your eyebrows at his action. He stepped back and chuckled in defeat, letting your hand go and going back to his seat.

“Let me try!” A loud but smiling girl shouted from behind when everyone thought the game was already over.

You tried to clear your mind, to think about anything else other than her because you knew one of her pretty smiles and your heart would explode.

She was mischievous, knowing perfectly the power she had over you. The corner of her lips went up as soon as she stepped in front of you, swaying from side to side feigning innocence.

But you knew her better. She was giving you that look. The look she would throw at you whenever she was trying to get her way by seducing you with her actions. The look she would hold before unbuckling your pants while on her knees. The look she would hold before her hand traveled to the hem of your underwear after a heated make out session.

Your heart started beating faster and everyone noticed.

“What?!” one of the MCs reacted standing up from his chair to take a closer look at the little screen. “How is that possible?”

Nayeon laughed at the scene before throwing her head back, letting out a loud laugh. You smiled, feeling a little defeated. No one would ever know the meaning behind the rapidly beating of your heart.

She swiftly made her way to the prize and sent a wink your way, gaining a faint blush as your heart beat kept increasing.

“Wait, wait,” the MC stopped Nayeon before she could come closer to the prize. “There’s still one final level before anyone can take the prize”.

As those words left his mouth, a sudden shiver went through your body. There would only be one reason for him to say something like that. Were they going to…?

He signaled to the back door and you felt your soul leaving your body.

As the door opened slowly, revealing a pair of long legs, a tight black dress that hugged a well trained body and you could identify who she was, the bpm monitor went to the roof. Everyone roared in reply to how your heart was reacting to her simple presence. Everyone but Im Nayeon.

“Hello, Y/N,” the woman you had always adored greeted while waving her hand sweetly at you. “Finally, we meet”.

You bowed deeply at her, trying to think about anything else but it was impossible. Her eyes were locked to yours and she was smiling widely at your endearing reaction. She took a couple of steps towards you and caressed your arm slowly, without breaking eye contact.

“You win, sunbaenim,” you whispered, redirecting your gaze to the ground before the bpm made you more embarrassed.

She laughed gracefully, bringing you to her and engulfing you in a quick hug that was immediately broken as the monitor started beeping at the unusual beating of your heart.

The studio broke into a loud laugh as the MC took the chance to wrap up the episode.

“We found a winner right here, the prize has an owner now! Thank you for watching, see you next week!”.

The cameras turned off and suddenly you were brought back to reality.

“You’re hilarious,Y/N,” an MC complimented as a member of the staff took the wires off you. “You should come over often”.

The guy bowed at you and the woman still standing by your side as the staff member left at the same time.

“Come by my waiting room when you’re free, alright?” The black haired woman said, with a hint of playfulness in her voice, probably due to the way you had reacted at her.

You were at a loss of words and could only nod. Was she inviting you to her waiting room? Just the two of you? What did that smile mean?

Not giving it much thought, you turned around to go back to your own waiting room right before catching your girlfriend’s eyes.

She was furious.

And you were in trouble.

#twice x reader #twice x f!reader #nayeon smut #nayeon x reader #nayeon x fem reader #nayeon x f!reader #soulkeeper801

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skullinahat · 5 days

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some long-ass thoughts on watcher and dropout

for the record, i've enjoyed both of their work. i won't talk abt it much in this post, but it's very interesting how people kind of view shane's performative anti-capitalism making their consumption of ghost files a reflection of their own politics. then, a business making a business decision feels much more personal, because an aspect of your morals has just betrayed you. instead of just losing access to media you enjoyed, you just lost a reference point for your identity. Dropout is very mildly more aware of their function in capitalist society when they make anti-capitalist jokes, but the effect is still the same. the concept of supporting small business being an effective political action has obviously fed into, or perhaps came from, consumer culture. there's been a lot of "disappointment" in shane specifically, which is why i bring this up.

this post is a mess and i definitely used some of the wrong words, but i hope it makes some sense.

Watcher and Dropout have been compared alot as of late, of course both being attempted independent subscription based streaming services with a small host of content. dropout is cast as the good guy, the thing that watcher is striving for and failed at. I've seen several people joke about subscribing to dropout instead as a little fuck you to watcher.

A lot of people have genuinely asked what the difference is. Why is watcher bad and dropout good?

The most common answer i've seen is that dropout was pitched as a last effort to save a dying company, instead of the greedy money grab that watchertv feels like. dropout also offers a much larger cast, and many more shows, releasing new episodes monday through friday. Both of these things, however, are only true of dropout as of now.

Dropout was started two years before collegehumor's death, and it was only able to release as many shows as it is now very recently. It also didn't originally advertise itself as a final resort, rather "netflix- but worse!"

It didnt begin as a hail mary for a dying platform, just a new branch of an old one with no ads and more freedom. (Though it was a final resort later.) i think the biggest material difference between the two is that dropout always felt like an addon rather than an ambush paywall. later when it did become an ambush paywall, it felt justified. there was complete clarity over what would be on dropout and what would remain free on youtube.

this clarity was never present in watcher's announcement. I personally don't think watcher was ever planning on removing their free content from youtube, and they just worded it really poorly in their original video, but keeping new episodes behind a paywall is still enough to alienate their fanbase. the concept of them removing everything from youtube has stuck around despite their assurances against it.

the rest of the reasons why watcher went over so poorly is audience trust, yearly context, and marketing.

People had already followed ryan and shane from buzzfeed to watcher, so their trust had been tested before, resulting in them being more loyal, but still. I've seen a lot of people discussing their disappointment with watcher's content compared to buzzfeeds, which, everyone hates change so on and so forth, but most people are pointing specifically to the overproduction and the awkwardness. I had the same expeirence. I specifically remember watching an episode of too many spirits and realizing i was forcing myself to continue. It just felt like lipstick on a pig, hours of animation work on top of an awkward joke. I think there's been frustration with watcher's content building for a long time, and this poorly worded announcement is the straw that broke the camels back. i also don't think there was as much streaming service fatigue back when dropout was started as there is now.

It is entirely possible, given that they were spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on post-production per video, that watcher needs more money to continue. I, as many do, would attribute this to poor financial decisions. However, i think they could've framed watchertv as a last resort for a company that fiscally couldnt continue on youtube and gotten away with it. they still would have gotten some flack for steven's tesla and gold-leaf pizza, but it wouldnt be the total takedown it is now.

Instead, in the video they simply talk about being to big for youtube. No stressing about money. It feels entitled. even in the apology, where they claim that watcher couldn't continue on youtube, the overt focus is not placed on money. Wether this was a decision to try and not sound too whiny and pandering, or it's that they genuinely could continue to work on youtube but want more freedom on watchertv, i'm not sure. either way, it worked out horribly for them.

#gabbering #watcher #sorry ONE more post and then ill stop i prommy

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archivedbyebye · 2 years

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Alright, here we have some jumbled thoughts for today’s newest ninjago episode..... yayyyy

So, of course, the episode was in a different language that I do not speak, so there’s definitely not a whole lot to go off of other than the rough english translation provided to us by the youtube gods. What a totally authentic thing for me to judge off of. Obvious sarcasm here, if you couldn’t tell.

So “The Coming of the King” was it? Yeah, interesting episode. To say the least. Spoilers under the cut.

Why don’t we handle the elephant in the room: Harumi’s character devolpment?

I can’t call it redemption yet, I’m not going to go there.

So I was really surprised when I saw a lot of controversy over Lloyrumi this season. No necessarily that Lloyrumi fans were present, moreso the fact that so many were against it. I mean, I totally get it, it’s not like a real ship because Harumi betrayed him and tried to kill him many times over.... and y’know, general suffering and whatnot.

There’s something I think that a lot of these fans wanted out of Harumi’s return: redemption. And let’s be honest, there’s no way they could have finished this season without giving Harumi some sort of conclusion, and it’s not very likely they’ll do it the same way they did it in season 9. I love Harumi, she’s easily my favorite character, but I felt a bit conflicted when she showed up on screen after episode 12.

With the the summaries of the next episodes already released, it’s pretty obvious Harumi’s getting that arc in some shape or form. A lot of fans speculate that this is the beginning of Lloyrumi, and again, did not expect that backlash. Personally, I’ve stopped caring. I like Lloyrumi’s chemistry, but obviously it wasn’t meant to be after season 9. But it’s not like they haven’t been building this up in the past seasons. I would not credit the past few seasons for being that deep, but it’s pretty obvious that Harumi’s had a lasting impact on Lloyd’s life, so I guess it makes sense for her return. I did sort of go off on a tangent with this, but I just wanted to share my opinions on the whole Harumi thing before we get into the logistics of this episode. Told ya’ it’s a bunch of jumbled thoughts.

Time to ridicule whatever that was.

Like, right off the bat, Overlord’s back, bitches. Never found him that threatening, most recent season’s doesn’t dispute that. Literally the most he does is corrupt some weapons or something.

Lloyd’s escape? Hysterical. All that boy did is swing around until shit got fucked up. Seriously, man, why didn’t you do that three hours ago. I guess the temple’s weird floating and rotation thing was pretty cool. I guess.

Also, is it just me, or does Lloyd have some really dumb banter or what? No elaboration on that, I just feel like it really doesn’t fit his character? I know that’s kind of where his character has gone over the past couple of years, but I am actually pretty sick of it. Shut up.

Why do these people keep giving Lloyd the chance to join them? He said no, kill him before he becomes a threat to you. Come on, I thought you people were supposed to be the villains. Get your shit together.

Why are the golden weapon’s usage guidelines so inconsistent? Remember that bit in season 10 where someone could hold the golden armor without blowing up? Good times! Now you can’t throw the golden weapons together, lest they explode in your face! what.

OKAY BUT THAT ENDING THO- what was thatttttt

Lloyd is on the brink of escape, one step away from freedom, the people trying to kill him at his back. What does green boi do? Grabs nearest solid object (hostile ex-girlfriend) and YEETS THEM BOTH OVER THE SIDE. Okay I get jumping, don’t bring your future murderer with you, okay?? Why. No, really, why?? What do you plan to do with her ONCE SHE’S DONE EMOTIONALLY TORTURING YOU?? CRY INTO HER SHOULDER?? Lloyd, honey, she doesn’t love you. Let it go.

i’m done now, you can all go back to your lives

why am i still in this fandom

#ninjago spoilers #ninjago s16 #ninjago crystallized #i'm tired goodnight

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xiyao-feels · 3 years

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Finally got around to writing down some thoughts on the differences between Empathy and the original—per scene and then a general reflection.

Episode 10

(episode 10 differences)

Going through this chronologically, our first comparison is the captain encounter. Honestly I think NMJ was straight-up inventing most of this—even aside from the sheer absurdity of MY, what, smuggling XY out of prison, bringing him into the middle of everything (he runs into the Captain and friend AND WWX!), XY…just going back into prison…well, anyway, putting all that aside—the Captain's questions here seem like NMJ's preoccupations, not the Captain's. The Captain is hugely contemptuous of MY, but he's not, like, obsessed with his innermost heart, you know? "You're lying! I just saw that. You were talking. Tell me honestly. What's your ulterior motive?"—that's NMJ, not the Captain at all. Plus there's the way the Captain grabs MY basically the exact same way NMJ does.

Next up there's MY telling NHS he's going to go check on XY—minor phrasing differences aside, one thing that's interesting is we don't get all of MY's reaction/decision before he tells NHS in Empathy, just the tail end:

Ahhhh, now, the bit where NMJ sees MY stab the captain! You can see here the beginning of a pattern of Empathy erasing the Wen. MY throwing himself in front of the blade to save NMJ is removed, of course, but so is NMJ fighting WZL, as he was before going to the prison in episode 10; in the Empathy he's just kind of standing there. And then sees MY, uh, creepily pick up a sword??? And follows him??? Instead of hearing that XY's escaped and running to the prison because of that, which is of course what happened in episode 10. (So XY is erased some in this scene, too; even when it comes to MY's excuses, he says It wasn't me, but we don't get to 'Xue Yang killed him', as we do in the original.)

Some other points of interest here… Of course the expression NMJ sees on MY as MY kills the captain is only shown in Empathy. Interestingly, also, while MY is quite clearly terrified at NMJ's approach in both, in episode 10 it's presented immediately, while in the Empathy he has a beat before he starts reacting that way.

The last scene—NMJ confronting MY and kicking him out of Qinghe. In the Empathy, we start with MY having been thrown onto the floor, rolling—but this isn't there in episode 10, and to be honest I think it probably didn't actually happen. First, while I can see NMJ throwing MY onto the floor, I don't actually think he'd throw him quite that hard at this point in time? And it's also got a lot of visual echoes of JGY rolling down the stairs; I think he's projecting backwards. Of course, it still takes MY longer to recover in episode 10; Empathy consistently minimizes the physical harm done to MY.

So the conversation is interesting because it's really just two different conversations in the Empathy vs episode 10. In episode 10, MY leads with the Captain's abuse of him, and he's clear that it's habitual, ongoing, long-term. In Empathy, he leads with the Captain releasing XY, /adds in/ that the Captain wanted to kill him (that's not there in episode 10!), and absolutely skips over and minimizes the abuse: the beatings aren't mentioned, the credit-stealing isn't mentioned, the insulting and humiliating… even the 'Every time' is removed from before the 'he humiliated my mother', making it seem like this was a one-off provocation instead of habitual. NMJ's somewhat unhinged rant about MY's motives, including the would you have killed everyone at the cave if I hadn't helped you, is also Empathy-only (and then when MY starts to reply NMJ is like, Don't lie to me! and MY shuts up, suggesting perhaps that a denial would have been lying, which may be part of why people think this is a remotely reasonable assertion).

Some other interesting things—in episode 10, we see NMJ lift his sabre and then lower it, unable to go through with it; in Empathy, we don't see that at all—in general I think there's less of a sense that he's struggling with his decision, in Empathy, it's more just like He Is Doing The Righteous Justice. Fascinatingly we also don't see him put Baxia away in Empathy—I think he must because we see a scene where he already had, in episode 10, but we don't actually see it. We also don't see MY, injured, get up and thank NMJ and walk out, or indeed NMJ's conflicted gaze after him; the scene cuts off too soon.

Episode 22

(episode 22 differences)

There's only one scene for episode 22: the WRH, NMJ, and MY scene, inside Sun Palace. Right off the bat, we have the Wen erasure again; the episode 22 scene starts with WRH directly addressing NMJ and tormenting him and his Nie cultivators, whereas the Empathy one only starts when MY walks in. (Although interestingly MY addresses WRH as xiandu, while he doesn't seem to say anything with his bow in episode 22).

This one is an interesting scene because there's relatively little overlap? In the episode 10 scenes, you mostly saw different versions of the same events; in this one there's some of that, but there are also large chunks of time that are only in episode 22 or only in Empathy. Most of the MY-interacting-with-NMJ is only in Empathy, including, yes, the damn sabre touch. But we do have the beginning of MY talking to NMJ in both. MY's expression is different in Episode 22 vs Empathy—it's a little hard to capture in a still, but it's a lot more, mmm, simpering-mockery in the Empathy version?

Ah, one detail that's interesting—so, in CQL—which is to say in Empathy because we don't see this sequence at all in Episode 22—when that Nie cultivator calls the place 'a den of Wen' he uses 温/温氏, for Wen, and then when people are insulting MY in this scene they're using 走狗. But in MDZS all of those are actually 温狗, Wen-dog. Which is definitely more directly disrespectful to WRH than the 走狗 insults, but I feel like in general CQL doesn't use 温狗 a lot, while in MDZS it's all over the place—so while it's an interesting detail I'm not sure it's suggestive for Empathy in particular. Hmmm.

We return to things being shown in both Empathy and Episode 22 with NMJ shoving MY back. In Empathy, we only see MY stagger a little, while in episode 22 it's quite considerable—again, Empathy's tendency to minimize the physical damage MY suffers.

And then MY kicks NMJ in return! Okay this is actually fascinating, because in Empathy, it looks like this totally wipes NMJ out, and the scene stops here. But that isn't at all what happened! He's knocked onto his back, yes, BUT he recovers and comes up and shoves MY hard enough he goes flying:

He gets up and goes to attack MY, and would probably have killed him if WRH hadn't interfered. Which, don't get me wrong, is entirely reasonable of him given his understanding of the situation but it is not at all the impression you'd get from Empathy. If anything NMJ's collapse in the Empathy after MY kicks him looks like the collapse he has after WRH finishes with him, in episode 22. And MY saying How dare you be so rude in front of Clan Leader Wen when he kicks NMJ is also removed—the whole sequence here is really another example of the removal of the Wen from the Empathy scenes.

Incidentally, MY didn't actually kill all the Nie cultivators, in this scene. If you look while MY is flying back, at least one of them is still alive:

And then you can see all four are dead while NMJ's attacking WRH:

But MY has been on the floor recovering from NMJ's attack, so he definitely didn't kill the at least one and quite probably two who are still alive.

WRH asks MY if NMJ killed Wen Xu question; you have MY staying quite noticeably silent, which I think is still meant to be understood as MY saving NMJ's life. I guess they changed it because the MDZS version really doesn't work with the flow of events as happens in CQL? For the record, in MDZS MY answers yes, but then immediately suggests that they torture him instead of killing him immediately, and then once WRH isn't set on killing him immediately, kills WRH on the spot and starts lugging NMJ's unconscious body out of there. So there's no WWX for distraction, and Sunshot's army definitely isn't right outside, there's only LXC he sent a message to and who hasn't quite shown up yet—so in MDZS he's taking a bigger risk, and more unambiguously saving NMJ's life and winning them the war. Which is not, to be clear, to in any way minimize CQL MY's astonishing bravery and achievements.

Episode 23

(episode 23 differences)

So in both we start with LXC holding NMJ and looking down at him. In episode 23, when NMJ sees MY, we see LXC see and notice his reaction and /then/ look over at MY in concern, whereas in Empathy we don't get that moment—it just goes to both of them looking at MY.

NMJ demands his sabre back, and in both MY complies, though in the Empathy one he takes a beat longer and looks more worried about it. In the original, MY also has "Let me explain" which is dropped from the Empathy.

In both we have NMJ attacking MY with Baxia, and trying to get past Shuoyue—in the Empathy it's a bit shorter, though, and we also lose LXC asking NMJ what he's doing this for. I think that goes with cutting LXC seeing NMJ react before he looks over at MY, above; the effect is to make NMJ's response seem more obvious/natural, when in fact LXC is pretty baffled by it at the time.

"he became the Wen's underling and had been helping the tyrant at Nevernight!"—the language on 'became the Wen's underling' is actually different in episode 23 vs Empathy. In episode 23, you have 原来投靠了温氏; in Empathy, though, it's 原来是做了走狗. Note the 走狗 as earlier!

Okay, and now the big one: LXC giving NMJ reasons they should trust MY/not kill him. Empathy cuts most of this. It keeps that MY is the one who sent the map, but it drops: that the reason LXC is here today is because MY sent him a message; that MY was the one who schemed to get WRH's guard down, and then /killed him/; that MY was the one who saved LXC's life after CR burned; and that MY independently approached WRH to spy on him and has been sending LXC letters the whole time. /That's really not trivial. That's a lot to cut./

I wonder if this has any relation to the common idea that LXC did not in fact have a lot of very good reasons to trust JGY.

(Incidentally it's after the MY killed WRH reveal, in episode 23, that NMJ lowers his blade.)

...also. so. In episode 23 LXC asks MY, you know, didn't he already tell NMJ about all this (a question which makes a lot more sense in MDZS, where NMJ has already woken up before LXC joins them, but I just run with it), and MY says, you saw it ZWJ, even if I had he wouldn't have believed me. And NMJ—again it's kind of hard to capture in a still, but he pretty much reacts like he thinks that's ridiculous and MY is just making excuses/being manipulative?

And then of course that gets erased from the Empathy, as well as as just mentioned most of the reasons LXC actually gave. So. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh, this also means it cuts what I'm pretty sure is the first on-screen use of A-Yao—it does show up later in the Empathy version of this scene, so I don't think that's hugely significant, but just as a note.

Then there's MY kneeling in preparation for apology, which is in both Empathy and episode 23. The Empathy cuts make it seem like he kneels pretty much right after NMJ lowers his blade, though, and we don't get to see him making the deliberate choice to step out if LXC's protection to kneel—again, I think it makes LXC seem more understanding of NMJ than he actually is here.

The apology proper is only in Empathy; honestly it mostly seems fairly reasonable to me, although it does mean you only hear LXC saying "But I believe, when he was doing such things, deep in his heart he must have been…" after the version that cuts most of his reasons for believing that. In terms of actual changes, I wonder if LXC reacted more quickly/strongly to the bit where it looks like NMJ is actually going to kill MY? It's definitely more understated than his previous reactions, and it would fit with the other changes made.

Last scene: the oath. At this point I think it's fairly well-known that NMJ looking at JGY, and LXC turning his head to look at them both, is only in Empathy—there's also, maybe?, a small change to the text; in episode 23, "Both God and people will be furious with us" is 天人共怒, but in Empathy it's 天人共戮. I say maybe because—on the one hand, the subs definitely use a different character, and it's in both the YT subs and the Netflix subs even though those aren't always 100% identical, but while I'm not usually checking the audio for this I did here because it's just the one character and the audio pretty much sounds the same to me? (ep 23) (Empathy) Could just be my ear, or a mistake on the subs' part or the audio part, who knows.

Overview

Looking at all the changes together, a few patterns emerge.

First, people who are doing damage who aren't JGY—the Wen, XY—tend to get minimized or erased from the narrative. Similarly and to some extent as a result, the harm caused by JGY is exaggerated; also similarly, the good that JGY does is also minimized or erased. Meanwhile, the damage done /to/ JGY is minimized—both the environment of abuse he suffered at Qinghe, and the physical harm done to him, which he usually recovers from much more quickly in Empathy (even when the attack itself is made stronger as, unusually, it is in the confrontation where NMJ kicks MY out of Qinghe). Finally MY is made more manipulative than he necessarily is; while I'm not saying he's never being manipulative, NMJ understands his expressions of weakness as /purely/ manipulative and inherently false, when in fact the weakness MY expresses is very real, however calculated, or not!, its expression may be.

Honestly—in this JGY who does way more harm and way less good than he actually does, who is more powerful and experiences less damage than he actually does, who is never actually weak but only acting that way to manipulate people? I feel like I'm seeing a lot of where popular takes on JGY come from.

#long meta #more than one tag could contain

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luna-rainbow · 3 years

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Lifton's postulate for brainwashing

Er, so this is really not my field or comfort zone, but I was researching for my fic/meta and came upon this list, which I thought might be of interest to people.

Robert Lifton is a renowned psychologist who studied PoWs and came up with this 10 step process with which people were "brainwashed", which are also often seen in cults and indoctrination. To me, it also feels like some of the techniques are used by abusers in toxic controlling relationships, because it creates a dynamic where the victim feels like they are dependent on the abuser for guidance and the need to "do good".

See...my take on Bucky's amends is that it was part of the military's process in "reforming" Bucky to align with their purposes.

These methods need the person to be isolated to work, which unfortunately Bucky already is.

1) Assault on identity: "You are not who you think you are"

2) Guilt: "You are bad"

3) Self-betrayal: "Agree you are bad and your family/friends are wrong"

The point of steps 1-3 is basically to make people doubt who they are and what their self-worth and belief systems are. Because of what Bucky's experienced, he doesn't actually need a lot of push to go that way - he already thinks "the Winter Soldier is still in there" and that "I am crazy". The key would be how they play on #3 - would it explain why Bucky suddenly cut contact with Sam? Because they kept feeding him propaganda and he wasn't sure how to talk to Sam any more?

4) Breaking point This is the point the abuser wants to reach with steps 1-3, and HSW explains it best in this quote:

When the target reaches his breaking point, his sense of self is pretty much up for grabs -- he has no clear understanding of who he is or what is happening to him. At this point, the agent sets up the temptation to convert to another belief system that will save the target from his misery.

At this point, people would become highly suggestible to external influence, because their sense of self and their belief system is disrupted.

5) Leniency: "I can help you" A lot of abusive relationships hinge on this point to maintain it. They offer a reprieve from the abuse they've been dealing out, and because it is so different, it almost feels "kind".

While not the same situation in Bucky's case, this may be the purpose of the "pardon". Never mind that he was a prisoner of war subjected to extensive periods of torture and mind-control, never mind that at least in the final few years he was under the control of the secretary of a government organisation...They perpetuate the notion that Bucky himself is guilty, and their offer of pardon is their leniency.

6) Compulsion to confess: "You can help yourself"

7) Channelling of guilt: "This is why you're in pain"

8) Releasing of guilt: "This is how you can change that" I think @ifandomus raised a good point some time ago about how the government would have tried to get Bucky to reveal information - or at least reveal how much he knows, because that may affect whether or not they trust him to be out there potentially revealing things they don't want people to know about.

#7 and #8 play directly into the amends. The guilt is painted as a personal failing, and Bucky is given a personal quest as an outlet and a path (however damaging to both him and the WS's victims) to resolve the guilt. We don't know how he made that list. We don't know why some people's names are on it, while others are not. We do know that Raynor is aware of the list and is probably also aware of the actual names on that list (even before episode 6). What are the chances that - during a period where Bucky was highly suggestible and uncertain - even the amends list was curated by the government?

9) Progress and harmony: "Here is a new belief system that will make you feel better"

10) Final confession and rebirth: "I accept the new belief system" I don't think Bucky quite got to the final 2 stages, and it's probably because he reconnected with Sam and came out of that social isolation where he didn't have an anchor.

I feel like Bucky got the sense that they were trying to get inside his head, hence his antagonism with his therapist (I can't imagine how he would feel after 70 years of people breaking inside his head, to be faced with someone doing it again). But I also think - especially without any sort of background in psychology or even social interactions for decades - he isn't sure whether she really is trying to help and it's just his own distrust getting in the way, so there's a bit of a see-sawing dynamic he has with the psychologist because sometimes he thinks maybe she has a point, and at other times he's on edge and closed off.

My feeling is that he latches so hard onto Steve (Stucky aside) because that is his only guarantee of something being true. Hence a lot of his actions and arguments are based on what Steve did, what Steve said and what Steve left behind.

(I know the show isn't really going this way with it...but I like the thought of Raynor and the therapy sessions all being a giant scam to get Bucky to be a pliable war dog again)

#bucky barnes #medical meta #kinda #meta #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

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boom-fanfic-a-latta · 2 years

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Anonymous Submitted:

Going for the "Hypothetical Show" angle, Lila messing with Marinette would be a 4 parter, titled "Marinette's Studio" as a whole.

The first part wold probably be called "Lila" or "Liar", something along those lines. This would be from Lila's perspective, and would give us a look into Lila's backstory, and show how she had been manipulating her classmates. She then does the "thing" to Marinette, possibly using a certain purple material to enhance her powers. It ends with Marinette collapsed, and Richard entering the room in a very ominous way (Think goggles down and glowing). (Cue collective screaming from the fandom.)

The second episode, titled "Mental Doorway" or "Mental Connection", would start where the first ended, with Richard at the doorway, Marinette unconscious, and Lila trapped with nowhere to go. He grabs her by the hand and drags her to Marinette. Lila tries to lie and say that she just found her passed out, but he butts in and tells her he already knows that she messed with Marinette's head, after all, she's thinking way too loud about it. Now, he needs to help Marinette, and to teach Lila, pulling out a door. "What's that for?!?" "You'll find out in a sec." Cue them entering Marinette's mind, probably followed by an establishing shot and Lila looking in awe. The rest of the level plays out here and the next episode, titled "Psychonaut" (There were so many theories based on this episode prior to release, especially given the similarities to Aquanaut's name)

"Psychonaut" continues the level, and has flashbacks to Richard's past as a Psychonaut, finally revealing what the Psychonauts are: an international psychic spy organization based in America.That Richard so happens to be a member of. (This was foreshadowed in various episodes, but the idea that they're the good guys trying to stop Hawk Moth had been overshadowed by Villain!Goggalor and a few episodes where Psychonaut tech was misused.) Also, casual references to how Raz broke into a government facility, and saved the world twice running on PSI-pops and Dream Fluffs. (Memes about this show up, perhaps relating to a previous short about everyone getting their hands on PSI-pops:

Most kids eating magic lollipops: (*Video of screaming kids)

Richard "Raz" Dartagan eating magic lollipops: (*Video of Superman stopping a meteorite*))

The final episode, A "Friend", would focus on fighting the titular "Friend", and would wrap it up for the most part. There would be a few questions left, such as what Richard's real name is(Though a lot of people have their suspicions), how he came to be a Psychonaut, the "Lady Lucktopus" incident, ect. and most of the fandom writes fanfic about it. (There is side media that expands on it, mostly comics, however it doesn't get released for a while, Double Fine knowing all too well how publishers get leaks all the time and not wanting to spoil this event)

My Comments:

(I legitimately saw this immediately after waking up and I am still freaking out over it it’s just so freaking GOOD—)

This. This is the kind of stuff I wanted to hear as soon as the “hypothetical show” angle was opened up to me. And I love it so much.

I can already imagine all the theories about these episodes by the names alone. Especially “What’s Lila going to be doing? (Lila)” and of course “HOLY HECK I THINK WE MIGHT BE GETTING ANSWERS (Psychonaut)” and I doubt it’d be revealed that it’s a freaking FOUR PARTER beforehand so everyone is assuming the episodes are separate as usual

After “Lila” the entire fandom is freaking out because A) Lila has powers that seem related to some of the stuff Raz has done before B) She has done something very bad to Marinette and C) That final shot of “Richard”

I feel like the second episode would make more sense to be called "Lady and Fairy" or something to keep up the theme of episodes named after...names XD, and I imagine people would be thinking "Are there going to be two Akumas?" before "Lila" comes out and then the fandom starts going crazy trying to predict what this episode is gonna be like with that in mind.

"Psychonaut" feels like it'll end up being impactful on the same level as "Chat Blanc" was in reality. The audience is finally learning about what has been hinted at since Raz's introduction, and the mysterious Psychonauts have now been explained. There is an organization of psychic secret agents that are also trying to take down Hawk Moth, and Raz is one of them. He's also saved the world before?! Imagine the speculation from the handful of details given. Plus, the viewers have also gotten a look at a whole other Miracle Box, which would provide some definite fanfic fuel.

And finishing off with "A Friend", where Lila begins the road to redemption...and learning, along with Raz, Marinette's identity as Ladybug. Everyone loses their MINDS at this, and there's probably some fighting among fans caused by that internal revelation. Not to mention all the new questions that all the reveals have brought up, like how Raz saved the world before, and the identity of "Razputin" still hasn't been entirely confirmed, and who are those other people in the flashbacks, and why does Raz have experience in fixing bad connections, and there's so many different theories and ideas.

Also, I love the idea of side comics eventually revealing the events of the games! I'd been personally wondering about maybe a side tv series, but having it be comics? GENIUS! Actual "True Psychic Tales" issues! Probably illustrated by Scott Cambell! When the comics come out, the entire fanbase is analyzing every last bit of it, there's youtube videos and tumblr posts galore explaining the different stories...

(Maybe even rumors of a video game being worked on…Psychonauts the game made a reality in this universe, perhaps?)

#submintssion #pip meta #psychonaut in paris au #psychonauts #miraculous ladybug #miraculous

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captainsimagines · 3 years

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“I Could Fall in Love”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I hope you enjoy this little drabble as much as I enjoyed writing it. Cutting it close to midnight on Valentine’s Day but hey, it still counts. xx Moni

BUCKY BARNES X READER DRABBLE

Warnings: none, simply fluff!

Word Count: 3000+

Song Fanfic: Listen and enjoy!

It wasn’t that you hated Valentine’s Day, you just didn’t see it as purely romantic. In your opinion, it was supposed to represent so much more than just romantic love. Friendships, beginnings and endings, the actual historical event, elementary school card giving, baked goods, and a nice dinner for either yourself or in the presence of others. So, no - you didn’t hate it. In fact, you actually quite enjoyed the giddy feeling of seeing other couples go all out for a single day, the sweets that were always available, and the awesome discounts.

“Come with us!” Natasha whined, filling up her glass with some oat milk and passing Steve some utensils at the same time. She wasn’t whining excessively, as that wasn’t in her nature, but she did raise her voice as her tone shifted from playful to annoyance. You rolled your eyes and chewed on your bagel, shaking your head dramatically. You plastered on your best grin, but it was overpowered by the massive chunk of bagel in your mouth. So you sat there, stupid bagel-filled grin covering your face, and tiny giggles threatening to escape as Natasha’s face also dropped into a silly one.

The rest of the crew was planning on attending a private Valentine’s Day party hosted by a close business partner of Tony’s. It sounded like a lot of fun and a perfect excuse to dress-up, but you had a tiny mission to go on before it. It was not a ‘mission-mission’ so to say- more like a ‘get in, get out, this will literally take two seconds and I could do this any other day’ type of mission. Natasha had given you such a disapproving look when you told her what your actual plans were for tonight, but she expected nothing less. You always had something else up your sleeve.

And that you did.

Since your mission was a quickie, you would be able to return to the compound before everyone else and bake your special pink cupcakes they all knew and loved. A sweet mixture of vanilla and strawberry, no flavor overpowering the other. You had recently perfected the recipe, only having Natasha and Bucky taste the final product, and because of their genuine surprise and praise, you were ready to bake dozens for everyone proudly.

She finished her glass and went to wash it. “Still, I think you’re missing out! I hear the food is gonna be great!”

You shrugged, “Eh, we have food here.”

You heard Natasha release a tiny scoff, “Please tell me your actual reason before I laugh too loudly and wake everyone up.”

“I swear, I’ve been putting off this mission for so long that tonight just seemed like the perfect time. Everyone’s occupied- I don’t know. I mean, criminals gotta get laid too, right?”

Natasha snorted, “That’s very true.” She eyed you suspiciously while drying her glass.

“You know, you and Barnes are the only one’s not attending. Obviously, his excuse is that he’s literally on a mission right now but you see my point.”

“No, I don’t see your point.”

Natasha smiled, as if secretly knowing your other very valid reason for not attending the party. “We all have dates. You know that if he were here you would be going with him, even as friends. But since you would literally be the only one of us without a date, it seems reasonable you wouldn’t want to attend.”

Okay, she hit that spot-on.

You groaned and lay your arms across the counter dramatically, “Stop, it’s scary how right you are all the time.”

Natasha laughed and rounded the counter, going over to pat your shoulders. “I’m not making you go. Don’t worry. Just give yourself some self-care and I’ll see you tonight to let you know I got home safe.”

You nodded and waved goodbye to her, ready to finish the everything bagel you had abandoned.

Bucky wasn’t one to dress-up for a night out anymore. He just didn’t have the motivation to do anything unless it involved stake-outs, knitting, painting, and binge-watching some stupid series you were watching. It always happened the same way, too. You would be casually chilling in the main common room of the compound, barely starting the first episode of a new series with stacks of junk food ready for your eager taste buds, when Bucky would randomly come in and ask what you were watching. And the next thing Bucky knew, you two were discussing the hidden elements of The Crown and debating whether a scene actually happened the way it was portrayed. By God, how much Bucky absolutely detested Prince Charles.

And you were so determined to knit that sweater for Natasha by her birthday that you came to Bucky’s room five times a day now rather than your usual three. But Bucky was extremely patient, helping you hook the remaining yarn that kept falling off your needles. Each time you pouted over the ‘horrible knot you made’ or when the yarn would tangle, Bucky would grin and tease you about, his stomach twisting pleasurably.

And each time he would reach over to help you fix it, your heart fluttered ever so slightly.

Bucky had actually planned on taking you to that Valentine’s Day party but his mission carried on longer than it was supposed to. Rather than returning a day before the party, he would now be returning towards the middle of it. He wondered if you were still going to go, but he highly doubted it. Not because you had told him explicitly, but because you had joked that if he wasn’t able to go, then ‘why would you bother?’.

To see you in that red dress you had jokingly placed over your already clothed body and modeled for him - Yeah, he absolutely hated he was missing this party tonight.

His mission had just ended and he was currently on the flight home, resting in his tactical gear but with the headphones you let him borrow in each ear. He chuckled lowly, realizing that most things he had in his possession, whether that be the headphones, hair bands, lotion, and Spotify account, all belonged to you. It brought him some comfort as he fixed himself in his seat, settling on your ‘Love me please?’ playlist to match the special holiday.

Lovebug by the Jonas Brothers. Tonight by FM Static. Oh, dozens by Taylor Swift. You’ll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins. And a whole lot of Selena songs.

There was one song that caught his attention, as if the title spoke to him. It just made sense. He clicked it, surprised by the upbeat beginning and rhythm of the drums, finally closing his eyes as he heard the melody from the acoustic guitar.

He lost count of how many times he replayed that one song as his plane touched land. He quickly woke himself up and gathered his things, ready to jump into a warm shower and watch an episode of The Crown behind your back. The drive to the compound was short and he entered the living quarters somewhat alert. There were no sounds his super soldier ears could hear besides the clicks of keyboards by overtime workers and computers humming. Kind of sad and joyful at once, Bucky realized he was alone for the first time in a long time. Maybe he would try that face mask you had urged him to buy tonight. And those very comfortable pajamas.

Ever the procrastinator, you never did go on that mission.

You were humming along to your Valentine’s playlist as you cracked the eggs into your bowl. You stirred quickly, bowl in your arms and a strike of flour along your unknowing cheek. You had your earphones in, enjoying the solace of such a peaceful night. The mix was coming together nicely and as you waited for the oven to preheat, you took out all of your cupcake supplies to set on the kitchen counter.

You could have sworn you heard some noises a few doors down so you took one earphone out to listen closely. At first you heard nothing, but you could have sworn you heard the likes of a toothbrush tapping against a bathroom counter. But as you stood there comically, bowl in your arms and whisk held up like a weapon, you settled on no disturbance.

You set the bowl down quietly and ran over to the door, looking down the hallway. Once you saw it was completely empty, you couldn’t contain the grin that spread across your face. You raced back to the kitchen and called for Friday.

“Friday? Could you please connect my phone to the living room speakers, please?”

“Done.”

You scrolled through your playlist and settled on a song that would for sure damage your vocal cords but delight you nonetheless.

“I could lose my heart tonight

If you don’t turn and walk away

You swayed around the kitchen as you traveled to grab each new ingredient, singing at the appropriate level the song called for.

Because the way I feel I might

Lose control and let you stay

Bucky had just finished brushing his teeth and putting a warm pair of socks on when he heard Friday play the exact song he had been listening to for the past two hours. At first he wondered if Friday had mistakenly connected his phone to the speakers but realized his phone didn’t even have the Spotify app open. He quickly walked down the cold floors of the hallway, his warm socks somewhat doing their job. He stopped at the living room entrance and leaned his shoulder on the doorway, beaming with a huge grin.

Because I could, take you in my arms

And never let go

You twirled around and used the whisk as a microphone, and to both your and Bucky’s surprise, hit every note perfectly. Bucky knew you were a great singer and although he would never admit it, he had heard you singing in the shower quite a few times. It was impossible not to at the level of volume you sang, but each time he would come into your room to grab something random or to ask you a question, he would sit outside the shower door and listen to your angelic voice as it sailed through the steamy air and into Bucky’s ears. But here you were, belting out the exact song Bucky had just learned all the lyrics for on his way home.

I could fall, in love, with you

It was in that moment that Bucky realized he was in his ‘comfortable pajamas’, which consisted of a loose long sleeve and bottoms set, with a nice dark blue color and white stitching along the pockets and buttons. But the sleeves, incredibly so, were far too long for his arms so he would crunch them up in his palms. And his socks had stripes on them. But he remained still on the door frame, watching you sway to the music and enjoying the scent of your first batch of cupcakes already in the oven.

I could only wonder how touching you

Would make me feel

You halted immediately when you saw his tall form resting on the door frame, a giant grin plastered on his newly shaven face. You yelped in surprise, putting down the whisk and patting your hands on your little green apron.

“Bucky, oh my god! Say something if you’re going to enter a room!”

Bucky just shrugged, walking over to the kitchen counter, eyes never leaving yours. He leaned over and placed his chin in both his palms, smiling as the music continued playing in the background. “I like this song.”

You squinted at him, “You know this song?”

Bucky nodded, holding his hand out now for you to take. “Like I said, I like this song.”

But if I take that chance right now

Tomorrow will you want me still?

You reached over hesitantly and let Bucky lead you over to the carpet. He wrapped one arm around your waist and rested the other higher up on your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck, allowing for his large frame to sway you both to the rhythm of the song.

“Nice pajamas.”

“Shut up.”

The room was dimly lit, cupcake aroma circling you two, and his snuggly pajamas seemed to also provide you the warmth you were previously getting from the oven. You smiled up at him, low giggles emitting from your lips. He did the same, enjoying the feel of your body pressed up against his.

So I should, keep this to myself

And never let you know

“When did you get back?” you asked, reaching up to touch his shaven cheek. You were undoubtedly curious about the feeling.

Bucky let you roam your hand all over, “About an hour ago. I didn’t think anyone was here.”

You chuckled, “I am! I told you I wasn’t going to bother going to that party if my plus one wasn’t coming!”

Bucky lifted his arm and twirled you slowly, happy that you followed his lead. “So, I’m your plus one now?”

You rolled your eyes, “Always.”

I could fall, in love, with you

“How did you even hear about this song?” you asked, hands now resting comfortably on Bucky’s chest. He had his arms wrapped around you, hugging you to his chest as you two swayed.

“We share a Spotify account, doll.”

“Yeah, but it’s a love playlist. Were you just in the mood for some ballads and stumbled across this one?”

“Exactly. It’s quite the tearjerker.”

And I know it’s not right

And I guess I should try

To do what I should do

He looked so relaxed at this moment, fresh and calm, enjoying the dance he pulled you into. He was resting his chin on the top of your head so you felt his little puffs of air escape his nostrils. And as he breathed in, you could feel his chest rise and lower below your palms. You were tempted to reach up and grab his face, pull him into yourself and share a sweet kiss, but you decided against it. For some reason you knew that this was different. You had snuggled before during naps or binge watching, but they never had a romantic undertone. And if you acted upon your desires, you were frightened it just might ruin your friendship. It took you two years to build up such a rapport with this man, and dare you say you were extremely proud to harbor some of his deepest secrets, and him yours. But his breathing calmed you immensely, as if the gentle rhythm was enough to put you to sleep, and you wondered if he was thinking about the same thing.

But I fall in love, with you

So I should, keep this to myself

And never let you know

Bucky seemed to hug you tighter as the lyrics encircled the room. Over the last few weeks he had felt a shift in your relationship, where sharing food was no longer as innocent as it seemed, barging into each other’s room was not seen as drastic, and partaking in each other’s hobbies was never a bore. Steve had commented on it before, asking Bucky if there was something between you two. And Bucky confided in both Steve and Sam, hands pulling at his hair as he paced in a safe room and his friends sitting patiently on the lone couch. They let him act out his worries in peace, and once Bucky tired himself out they both explained how he should ask you out or how to bring up the topic with you. Bucky listened intently and pushed down the tiny voice in his head that joked about Steve being the one to give him romantic advice. But if he ended up with you on his arm after this little pep talk, it would all be worth it.

But now the song was coming closer to its end, and he knew that if he didn’t act now then he probably wouldn’t have the courage to bring it up ever again. He leaned down to your left ear, and whispered the lyrics to you. In Spanish.

Siempre estoy soñando en ti

Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel

Abrazándome con ansias locas

Imaginando que me amas

Como yo podía amar a ti

[I am always dreaming of you

Kissing my lips and touching my skin

Anxiously hugging me

Imagining that you love me

Like how I love you]

You knew Bucky knew several languages. You knew. But it made you incredibly excited and hot that he specifically knew Spanish. He spoke in such a gentle manner, breath hitting your skin and voice practically drowning your mind. It was all foggy for a moment, but you quickly refocused your attention on his face.

“Oh, wow.”

Bucky smiled, “What?”

You scoffed and swatted his chest lightly, “Don’t ‘what’ me! You just confessed you like me!”

Bucky pushed you away for another twirl under his arm, but kept you at arms length once you turned around. “No, I confessed I love you.”

You stumbled slightly, staring at him with wide eyes. You thought about how absurd that confession was, but as quickly as that thought entered your mind, it left - because let’s face it, you did know each other for over two years and were best friends. This was right. This felt right.

“You love me?”

Bucky breathed in deeply but your reaction didn’t change his mind. It was now or never. “Yeah, I do. Seemed like the moment to tell you.”

You grinned, pushing your body forward to be engulfed by his strong arms once more. “And to think you could have just told me at this damn party when I was looking all hot without freaking flour on my face.”

Bucky let out a loud laugh that originated from the pit of his stomach and reached his hands up to your face. He pulled you in and kissed you sweetly, the taste of your lip gloss driving him wild. He tasted like toothpaste and chapstick, a perfect combination for your superhero.

“I love you, too.” Bucky let his eyes close in complete bliss.

You could have stayed like that forever, but as you left his lips and looked up at him, you suddenly remembered you never set a timer.

You pushed Bucky away, your sudden strength sending him backwards onto the couch. “My cupcakes!”

And as you rushed to pull the burnt tops from the oven, you could hear Bucky slide off the couch and hit the floor, his laugh louder than the speakers.

I could fall, in love

With you.”

Happy Valentine’s Day. All the love. xxMoni

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kays-gmm-fanblog · 3 years

Text

ahhhh okay. I apparently have no chill, so here's a little over 2k of under the desk blowjob

what a way to returning to writing fanfic after about four years off, lol

it's all under the cut because... yeah it's definitely rated E

also thank you @captainsourwolf for the encouragement - I'm still nervous af, but so it goes

“you have to say take a dip, man”

“take a dip”

“Really man, did you have to call out Tumblr like that?”

It’s 7pm and they’re both at their desks at the studio, finishing up some last-minute research. Of course, Rhett was used to Link doubling back with commentary on their recordings even days after they happened, and the dipping sauce episode had only been done that morning.

He smirked and offered, “Man there’s some weird shit going happening on Tumblr like every day, don’t pretend like you don’t know that. Besides, I just sent a good portion of the Beasts scrambling to worry about all the dirty things they post.”

Link shrugged, “Yeah alright, but it seemed like a weak joke. Like oh, yeah, blowjobs, funny. Very middle school of you.”

“Man, blowjobs are funny. Who do you think decided it was a good idea to stick someone’s dick in their mouth for fun? Probably that same dude that decided to try milking a cow for the first time. Just sticking his mouth where it doesn’t belong for the sake of exploration.”

“I think blowjobs predate milk, bo.” He paused for a second, considering, “Besides the desk isn’t even tall enough for that to make sense. I’d have to rest my head sideways in your lap, how effective is that? And I’d know. I was down there earlier.”

Rhett had had turned back to his computer somewhere in the middle of the bickering, but at that, he spun back around.

“Nuh uh. Not if I lowered my chair down.”

“Even then your giant slenderman legs would be poking me in the shoulders. It wasn’t a well-thought-out joke, that’s all I’m saying.”

Rhett frowned at that. There was room, Link was just being contrary to prove a point. But now his desire to win had been triggered. Plus the idea of Link under the desk was… intriguing, to say the least. He stood up from the desk and walked over to Link, grabbing the hand that was resting on the desk and tugging him toward the door. Link raised his eyebrows, even as he allowed himself to be pulled up and over, and Rhett added

“Come on, you won’t believe me until I prove it.”

Link rolled his eyes but followed behind, his wrist still in Rhett’s grasp, as they made their way down the hallway. Thankfully the part of the team that was coming in live these days had all already left for home. This wasn’t a test he wanted anyone to see, no matter who was right.

When they made their way into the studio, Rhett plopped himself into his usual seat and pulled on the lever to lower his chair to its shortest height. He pulled away from the desk a bit and gestured down, as if to say see, there’s your opening!

Link just folded his arms and raised an eyebrow.

“Come on Link, trust me on this.”

Link paused for a second, and then chuffed out a laugh. “You have to say take a dip, man.”

Rhett smiled, “Take a dip.”

Link dropped himself to a crouch and then forward onto his knees far more quickly than Rhett anticipated, given both Link’s reluctance and the tightness of his skinny jeans. Rhett felt his dick give a twitch at that – he’d been half-hard since he’d started dragging Link over to the set, and watching his best friend crawl under the desk and prepare to simulate sucking his cock didn’t do much to help.

Link backed himself up under the desk and Rhett automatically raised a hand to the back of Link’s floofy hair, guarding him from hitting his head on the edge. He watched as the other man curled in on himself to fit fully under the desk.

When he was settled, Link looked up with a half-smile and said “Alright man, scootch in.”

Rhett moved his chair forward until his knees met the resistance of Link’s torso and then paused, unsure of how to continue. Link placed his palms on Rhett’s knees and spread his legs for him, pulling Rhett closer in the process. Rhett looked down and his breath hitched at the sight - strong, warm hands moving their way up his thighs and a pair of bright blue eyes staring back at him. Link leaned in closer and bumped his chin on Rhett’s left knee, butting against him like a cat.

“See I told you, there isn’t room between your thighs and the desktop for my head” he thunked his head gently against the rim of the desk to prove his point, “Even with your chair all the way down, I’d get stuck. I’d have to tilt like this…”

At that, he turned his head at a forty-five degree angle and rubbed his cheek up Rhett’s thigh, bringing himself level with the bulge in front of him.

“Then again, it appears you don’t mind how I turn, do you? Little excited up there?”

Rhett coughed a bit and shrugged. “I mean, if you were at this angle you’d understand. Look atcha down there, on your knees for me, just waiting for me to take control.”

At that, Link smirked again and shook his head. “Do you think I don’t have control down here? Believe me, there’s more power on the giving end than there is receiving.”

He brushed a palm over Rhett’s cock and smiled at the shuddering breath that came from the man above him. He traced his way around the outline of Rhett’s growing erection, rubbing softly at the head as he passed from side to side. Rhett shifted, instinctively moving his hips closer to whatever was going to happen.

Link met Rhett’s eyes and tilted his head, wordlessly asking if he should continue. Rhett was nodding his head yes before he even realized what he was doing. There was no way he wanted this to stop. His hands curled around the bottom of the seat of his chair, doing his best to hold still in anticipation. Link’s hands moved their way toward his zipper.

“You want a hand with that, buddy?” He offered to Link, mouth dry and voice softer than usual.

“Nope, I’m good down here. You just keep your hands right where they are and behave.”

Link’s normally fidgety hands seemed pretty sure as they popped open the button on his jeans and unzipped his zipper. Rhett’s only contribution was to lift his hips off the chair as Link proceeded to slide his jeans and boxers down in one motion, until he was left sitting, bare-assed on his chair, with his dick straining up toward his stomach. Link moved his hands back to Rhett’s knees to push him away from the desk, scooting himself forward in the process so he could unfold from underneath the table.

He looked up at Rhett, admiring the blush on his cheeks and the way he couldn’t seem to decide where to hold his gaze – Link’s hands, his mouth, his eyes, or his own dick as it twitched, precome beading at the top in anticipation. The kneeling man moved his hands up Rhett’s thighs again, this time making skin to skin contact as he moved closer. He leaned over and pressed a soft, almost gentle, kiss to the rosy tip of Rhett’s dick, dotting his own lips wet with precome in the process.

He opened his mouth and Rhett gulped, unwilling to say anything and risk breaking the spell. Unfortunately, Link didn’t have the same concern. His eyes glinted and instead of moving down, he said “Told you there wasn’t room under the desk.”

Before Rhett could even process the jibe, Link was in action, mouth slowly sinking down around the tip of his dick, tongue sliding against his frenulum in a french kiss as dirty as the previous one was chaste. Rhett’s hands tightened around the chair and he let out a grunt, his legs spreading as far as they could with his pants around his ankles.

Link moved his head down further, taking Rhett deeper into his mouth and letting out a pleased-sounding hum. He rubbed his thumbs soothingly across Rhett’s thighs as he braced himself, holding the position as deep as he could for the moment and then starting to lift off again. As Link made his way back up, Rhett closed his eyes, afraid that if he watched this was going to end too quickly. Instead, it just gave him an even stronger jolt when Link’s tongue traced along a vein on the bottom of his dick as he came up for air.

He released from Rhett’s dick with a pop of his lips, looking at the slick mess he left behind, before tilting his head up to look at the man above him.

“Hey, eyes open, man. I’m down here working, the least you could be doing is appreciating!”

Rhett opened his eyes and let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, letting out something that was almost a giggle. He smiled down at Link and, without thinking, reached up his left hand to push Link’s bangs out of his eyes. He caught himself before he made contact and paused, looking for permission, since was apparently supposed to be holding still.

“Can I?” he asked, waiting for an answer.

Link seemed to think it over for a second. “Yeah, you can touch. Even with both hands in my hair, I promise you I’m still the one running the show down here.”

There was no arguing with that at this point. Rhett gently brushed the hair back from Link’s face, noting the flushed skin of his cheeks and the damp redness of his lips. He released the seat of his chair with his other hand and used both hands to gently remove Link’s glasses, folding their arms and setting them securely on top of the desk for safekeeping. He returned his hands toward his body, resting them on his thighs, on top of Link’s, as the other man leaned back and started softly licking and sucking up and down his cock again.

Link’s lips drifted to the base as he tilted his head sideways and licked a hot stripe from the bottom all the way back up, laving attention at the top. Rhett felt even more precome leaking out and he moaned almost in tandem with Link as the other man licked it up. Link flicked his tongue across the slit to collect as much slick as possible before closing his mouth around the top of Rhett’s cock again. He began a steady rhythm up and down, with a pause now and again to lick around the head and meet Rhett’s eyes with a coquettish glance.

He continued making soft little noises as he went, sending vibrations shuddering through Rhett’s dick straight to his spine. Rhett’s hands gripped at Link’s until he felt the left one move away to grasp the base of his cock and work in tandem with the slick mouth moving around him.

After a minute, Link pulled off again, and with a raspy voice, chastised “I don’t think I was clear enough before.” He paused and then continued, “Put your hands. In my hair. Now.”

Rhett obeyed without a second thought, winding his fingers into the strands of hair on either side of Link’s head. He could control the pace, but not the sensation, as Link applied suction and the movement of his hand to Rhett’s erection.

As time went on Rhett felt himself building closer and closer, Link seemingly taking him deeper with each bob of his head. He felt the telltale signs of his release and tapped against Link’s head gently, moaning “I’m getting close.”

Link didn’t even stop, simply letting out an encouraging “mmm” sound and increasing the tempo of the hand wrapped around his best friend’s dick. With a loud groan Rhett released, hips stuttering at the feeling of Link swallowing around him as he came.

As he regained his senses, he found himself petting his hands through Link’s hair, even as the other man pulled off of his cock and looked up at him. Link leaned his head against Rhett’s thigh and looked up with a smile, before asking,

“Good?”

Rhett let out a bark of laughter. “So good. Very, incredibly good.”

“Even though there wasn’t room for me under the desk?”

“Okay, okay, you win.”

After a second to catch his breath fully, he rolled his chair back a bit and reached out his hands to help Link stand up. Rhett noticed a telltale bulge in the other man’s pants and he straightened up, and thought to himself that maybe they both won this one.

#rhink #rhink fanfiction #i'm gonna go hide now

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feliix · 4 years

Text

Mine ✦ JHS (18+)

✦ Pairing: Werewolf!Hoseok x Reader ✦ Word count: 3.6k ✦ Rating: M

✦ Genre: smut, fluff, established relationship!au, werewolf!au

✦ Summary: It’s your boyfriend Hoseok’s first time in heat, and as much as you’ve prepared yourself for this moment you’d never expect it to go like this.

✦ Warnings: explicit smut, heat sex, unprotected sex, fingering, dom!hoseok, oral: female receiving, dirty talk, rough sex, impregnation kink, breeding kink, hobi is possessive af, knotting, creampie, marking, blood play, praise kink, aftercare,

✦ Requested by this anon ‘Hoseok x reader werewolf alpha heat with human mate? First time experiencing his heat and his knot?’ this anon: ‘May I request for the drinks and Drabbles, Hobi + cocktail. (Lmfao this is gonna be a lot, you don’t need to do all, whatever you feel inspired by {love you}; dom Hobi, spanking, creampie, fingering, toys, pet names)’ and sweet beanie @jintobean‘ahem. pls might i order some hot coco hoseok it can have some nsfw idc i just need my heart to burst pls and thank’

✦ A/N: another episode of i try to write a drabble but it turns into a oneshot :)))) tagging my bby @hobiance for the much needed encouragement and werewolf hobi love♡ also this is my first actual werewolf smut please be nice and beta read by the wonderful, amazing and life saving @ally-127

✦ Written for the BHQ Drinks and Drabbles game hosted by @bangtan-dreamland

read part two here

You had no idea what you were anticipating as you got home from work today. Before you had left Hobi was acting stranger than normal. His temper was short, his motions were labored, and he wasn't himself. It didn’t take long for you to realize something was wrong, and before you had even gone on lunch you received a text from your boyfriend.

Hobi: I don’t want you to be alarmed, but I think I’m in heat

There was no time to think about the next course of action, it was clear what you had to do. The next thing you knew you were in your bosses office, telling her that you were beginning to feel ill and that you’d be taking the rest of the day off.

He could smell that you were home before you had even walked through your front door. Hobi’s senses were mad, higher than he had ever experienced before.

To put it lightly, you were worried. You had never experienced a werewolf in heat before, only heard about it from the older boys and their girlfriends in passing. But now there was no time to ask questions. Hobi was in heat and you’d have to figure it out together.

Muffled moans traveled throughout the apartment as Hobi ached in pain in your bedroom. Concern immediately flooded your system, not knowing if you should rush over to check on him or take things slow. The groaning only gets louder as you approach the bedroom door, pressing your ear up to the door to try and make out the slur of words coming from his mouth.

“Y/N?” He nearly cries as he senses your presence, the smell of you awakening senses he didn’t even know he had.

Slowly, you turn the handle of the door to reveal yourself to him.

He’s in pain, lying in a pool of his own sweat as a dewy sheen glistens over his body. The only thing covering him is a pair of cotton underwear. They were the only thing soft and breathable enough that he could stand to have on his body, unlike the other clothes torn into shreds that he ripped off earlier. Hopefully he can hold back from treating yours in the same way – you really like the blouse you have on today.

As you see him curled up on the bed you can’t help but become worried for his current state. His face is scrunched in agony, soft groans leaving his lips between each labored breath. Slowly, you make your way over to him, careful not to move too quickly and startle his instincts.

You can only imagine the pain he's gone through over the past few hours. Knowing he's broken every bone in his body to turn, over and over again. Finally that part was over for now, but the everlasting ache of his muscles is still no match for his oncoming heat.

“It hurts,” he moans as his arms cup his sides roughly, rocking back and forth in attempts to relieve some of the pain. You can feel the heat radiating off his body from a foot away.

Instinctively, your hand reaches out to stroke his arm, the hairs standing up as his body shivers in a cold sweat. And then you notice it. The way his nostrils flare and exhale thickly as his eyes begin to glow an amber and gold hue. Your touch comforted him yet riled him up all at once, his wolf wholly and completely awake now that your skin was on his.

His eyes lock on you intently, a deep message hidden behind in his stare – almost like he was going to swallow you whole. You know what he needed. By the bulge in his pants to the look in his eyes you can tell it's you he wants – the only thing he needs at this moment, and you are ready for it.

You already know what you were getting yourself into when you began dating a wolf. It was only a matter of time before your sex life did a 180, and no, you weren’t entirely sure what to expect but today was the day that you’d finally understand what this was all about.

Like a second wind had taken over him, Hobi sits up in the bed, his posture firm and his muscles straining as he holds himself from grabbing you by the waist and mounting you at that moment. He’s waiting for reassurance from you, holding onto every ounce of strength he has before moving an inch.

And so you reach out to him again, bending at the waist as you place your arms on his shoulders, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “I’m ready,” is all you have to say for him to know, and then he’s scooping you up with his supernatural strength to lay you on the bed.

Without missing a beat, Hobi’s fingers are looping through the sides of your underwear and ripping them down your legs. Surprisingly, you are a lot less nervous than you had expected to be. Maybe because you know how much pain he is in from holding himself back, and all you want is to finally satisfy his wolf that has been eating away at him for so long.

Your sweet scent fills his nostrils as he moves closer to your cunt. Closing his eyes, he basks in your scent – your scent overtaking him stronger than ever before. With deep inhale, he nestles his nose against your core, admiring the way you smelled before extending his tongue to lap at your slit. Immediately, your body jerks in reaction to his touch, the sensitivity of your clit being tested by his quick and frivolous motions.

“Tastes so good,” he mumbles against your inner thigh, making your body jerk at the vibration of his lips. His ministrations are much more impactful than before; this time he's hungry for it, dying to satisfy an itch that was nearly impossible to scratch.

Soon his hands are prying your legs as far apart as they could go, shoving his face into your center and devouring any juices that slipped past your entrance. Even though you had done this a hundred times, it felt different. He was driven by hunger, his actions quick and frivolous to ready you for his length. It was different but it was intentional; his sole purpose backing each and every flick of his tongue.

Moans pass his lips as they wrap around your clit, sucking harshly. Involuntarily your hips buck towards him, unable to control your own actions from the pleasure his mouth is bringing you. You can tell that he likes it by the way his arms wrap around your thighs, holding you down as his tongue flicks past your entrance and into your velvety walls.

A string of curses leave your lips as your body is rendered immobile, unable to move from the way he’s holding your legs to the bed. He’s ravenous – his nose pressing roughly into your clit as his tongue explores your sex. As much as he wants to be gentle he can’t; his wolf sending each of his senses into overdrive with each drip of arousal that lands on his tongue.

He’s moving so quickly that you can’t subdue your quickly approaching high. Any tug at his hair only makes him move faster, bringing you closer and closer to ecstasy at an alarming rate.

“Hobi,” you cry out, “I’m gonna cum if you keep at it like that.”

He doesn’t respond to you with words, only squeezes your thighs to acknowledge you. He’s too busy devouring your pussy to come up for air. Your words only make him move faster and more desperately, your high coming to a peak as he flattens his tongue across your slit. You take a quick glimpse of his amber eyes before he squeezes them shut, feverishly indulging in your release, licking it up as if his life depended on it.

By now a layer of perspiration has coated your body, the silky fabric of your blouse sticking to your skin. But Hobi isn’t done – things are just getting started.

Retreating from his spot between your legs, he sits back on his heels, wiping any left over arousal coating his chin with the back of his hand. He’s still hungry – the squint of his eyes and the determined look on his face told you so. Heat coursed through your veins as you waited for him to make his next move. He was trying to be patient, trying to let you recover for a moment before he got back to business, but you knew what he wanted.

In the interest of time you remove your own shirt, sitting up on the bed to throw the garment to the side and unclip your bra. His hungry eyes take in your nude figure as he moves forward to push you back onto the mattress. Your body relaxes as his lips connect to a sweet spot on your neck, sucking on it harshly, sure to leave a mark for tomorrow.

You arch your back in response as his lips begin to trail down your chest. A line of wet kisses is left behind as he makes his way down to one of your breasts, taking it in his mouth and circling the sensitive bud with his tongue. His teeth brush gently across your nipple, the sensation of his growing canines scraping against it breaking goosebumps against your skin.

Every day since he first turned has been leading up to this moment. Waiting out each passing moment for a sign of carnal instincts to over take him. Over the past few days you’d just brushed off his overly clingy demeanor, assuming it was just him growing into himself as a wolf. His suspicious and on-edge behavior went completely overlooked. You didn’t expect Hobi’s first heat to come on so soon after turning, but alas, here you were.

Hobi’s hands grab a hold of your hips, flipping you over so that you're laying with your chest pushed flush against the mattress, legs bent and the knees with your ass on full display. Your smell consumes him; all that he can think about is the taste of your arousal on his lips and how badly he needs to be inside you now.

His long digits trace your slit as arousal floods from your entrance, coating your slick on his fingertips. Anticipation pangs at your chest as you wait for his next move. You can only imagine the restraint he is holding onto at this moment. Everything in him wants to drive his hardened member into you, but he knows that your human body is not meant to handle what is coming for you.

Hobi’s eye’s screw shut as he brings a finger up to his mouth, basking in the taste of you. A wanton moan erupts from his lips at the taste – so perfectly sweet he would never be able to get enough.

Dire thoughts rush through your mind as you rest on your elbows, face turned to the side to try and see Hobi out of your peripheral vision. His pupils are completely blown, eyes focused only on your center as his chest heaves in anticipation. He’s sizing you up, wondering if you’d be able to accommodate his new size. It worries him deeply, he doesn’t want to hurt you, but he knew once he started he wouldn’t be able to control himself like he normally could. You needed to do something, say something to help settle the internal warfare consuming his mind.

“I’m ready, Hoseok.”

His hand is quick to line himself up with your entrance, grasping onto your hips with such pressure that it is sure to leave bruises tomorrow. Sharp fingernails dig into your skin as his tip meets your entrance. It’s fiery and red, inflamed from how hard he is. The precum that leaks from his tip coats your slit, combining with the wetness dripping down your thighs to create a delicious mixture.

One last reassuring squeeze of your side is all he gives before pushing into you ruggedly. A sharp gasp leaves your lips as he makes his way into your core, surprised at this new sensation. His size is bigger than you’d ever taken before, so much thicker and longer than his normal length. It’s a lot to take in at once, and he’s trying his best to let you relax as your body adjusts to his size.

“You can move,” you say, lip caught between your teeth as your walls stretch further around him.

With your fists grasping for the sheets, Hobi begins thrusting his hips slowly into you– holding out a second each time he bottoms out to let you breathe. His nails only dig into your sides further, the only thing giving him a grip onto reality to hold back his animalistic instincts.

Deep grunts leave his mouth as he tries to hold himself back, but he can feel his humanity slipping further and further away with each clench of your pussy.

“Can’t hold back much longer,” he bares his teeth, canines prominent in his bite, “need to breed you now.”

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head as his words meet your ears.

You’d never had serious baby talk before let alone tried for one. It was his primal instincts talking, you were sure of it. But even if it wasn't there was no turning back now. He was losing control and he was losing it quickly.

Quickly, his hips snap into yours, his muscles flexing as he holds your body steady, fucking into you deeply. Breath is sucked out of you as his pace increases; stars forming at the back of your eyelids as you squeeze them shut, mouth salivating at the increasing pleasure bestowing upon you. His length is a lot to get used to, but the everlasting pressure against your g-spot was making the pain melt away.

Hobi thrusts in and out of your effortlessly, your abundance of arousal coating his cock and making it easy for him to slide in and out of your velvety walls. With each thrust he bottoms out, and it becomes difficult for you to remain upright. Limbs shaking from pleasure, your elbows begin to give way, landing you flat against the mattress.

Your mouth opens, but the only thing able to escape is a silent scream, too immersed in the feeling of him battering your walls to make a sound. A loud leaves you lips as he pulls you back up, his arms wrapping around your waist to use all his strength to hold you in position. His chest is pressed flush against your back, the heat radiating off his body soothing you as his mouth meets your ear. A quick nip is placed on your earlobe as he catches it between his canines. It doesn’t hurt like you’d expect it too, or maybe you’re too caught up in his throbbing shaft plunging into you to notice if it does.

“Taking me so well.”

His praise quickly soothes your nerves, helping you relax into him as he holds your body close, closer than you had ever felt to him before. His tip is repeatedly hitting against the sensitive spot deep inside of you, you know he’s not ready to let up just yet, but you’re too on edge to hold on.

“Hobi I-I’m gonna–”

“I can smell it,” he groans, mouth meeting your neck as he sucks harshly on it. You can feel his canines scraping against your soft skin, itching to break the flesh and claim you. It’s what he’d always wanted – having you here like this just makes it all the more enticing.

A string of cuss words fall from your lips as your eyes clamp shut, relishing in your release as your pussy spasms around his cock. His movements don’t slow either – his pace is still erratic, plummeting into you at an ungodly rate.

Feeling your release over him only makes him thrust harder, deeper. It sends him into a full blown frenzy, unable to keep himself from chasing his high. “Smells so sweet, need to make you mine.”

You knew what this means. You knew you already were his, just not in that way yet. He was holding onto every last ounce of strength to stop himself from biting, from sinking his teeth into your precious skin and claiming you as his mate. It was painful for him to keep at it like this, and you didn’t have any second thoughts before saying it.

“Do it, Hoseok,” the words slip between cries, still shaking in the aftermath of your orgasm, “claim me.”

So he does.

His eyes slam shut as his mouth finds the crook of your neck, breaking the flesh as his canines sink into your skin. Screams blow past your lips as blood begins to trickle from the wound on your shoulder. Your chest tightens in pain, praying for the awful sensation to but cut short and pleasure to take over. Relief takes over once his tongue meets the small incisions made on your skin, his saliva filling the holes and alleviating the wounds as he licks up the blood.

“Mine.”

Your heart flutters at his claim, having never felt as close to him than you do right now. Firecrackers lit through your veins, the connection between you and Hoseok binding to eternity and you couldn’t be happier. It felt like you were floating on thin air. Your body is unable to focus on any pain right now, you’re too blissed out from the shock of him claiming you to notice how his cock is beginning to swell inside of you.

Cum shoots out of his member, filling you up to the brim until your abdomen begins to feel heavy and swell. That floating feeling quickly begins to fade as his orgasm keeps coming and coming, no inch of your insides gone untouched by his seed. It seems like it's never going to end, and you can feel the pressure from his release building and building inside of you. Your sensitive walls stretch as his cock expands; knotting to plug you up and make sure none of his cum drips out.

“Hobi,” you whine, tears spilling from your eyes as his cock continues to inflate inside of you, “Hobi it hurts.”

“Its almost over baby,” he comforts you, stroking your hair before guiding you onto your side, laying behind you. After such a rough round, his familiar touch eases your pain. The light kisses he places along your spine lets you sink back into him, focusing on the feeling of his soft lips instead of the balloon sized cock stretching your vagina. Gentle hands trace circles up and down your arms as you listen to the sound of his calming breath. His chest heaves as he tries to come down from the adrenaline rush.

Soft kisses soon turn into small licks running over the length of your back as you lay there, still speared on his cock. Now that his animalistic needs were met, it was all about you.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning you up,” he answers calmly, his lupine senses finding nothing strange with this new method of aftercare. You’re too immersed in your thoughts to question him any further; if this is what his wolf was telling him to do then so be it.

As Hobi’s knot begins to subdue he doesn’t let go. His tongue soothes over the spot of his mark, now forming into a dark scar to let everyone know you were his. Its crazy how just one bite felt like it could change the entire dynamic of your relationship. You were his now, and he was yours. Forever.

“Hobi?”

“Mmm,” he mumbles, refraining from letting his mouth leave your skin.

“Did you mean that thing you said,” your lip worries between your teeth before you can finish your question, wondering if he even remembers anything that happened or if his wolf took everything over.

“What thing?”

“The thing about breeding me?” Your eyes slam shut to brace yourself from the answer.

“Yes,” he sighs out nonchalantly, like he isn’t admitting that his intentions were to get you pregnant.

“Yes?”

“You’re my mate, Y/N,” he presses a chaste kiss between your shoulder blades before pulling out. A small whimper leaves your lips at the loss of contact, not sure if you were relieved that he was no longer inside you or not. “Of course I want you to have my pups.”

Butterflies flutter in your tummy as a smile stretches across your face. All you want to do right now is to turn around and kiss him, so you do. His face is just as bright as yours when you meet his eyes. His hair is messy and his skin is shining with perspiration, but he looks beautiful. He welcomes your kiss like he’s been waiting for it all day. Mouth chasing after your lips, capturing them in a quick kiss before pulling away.

It's the first time he’s seen your eyes since you’ve gotten home, and even then he couldn’t appreciate them like he could now. There's a different glow that he didn’t notice before. Maybe it's because he’s bound to you now, willing to do anything and everything for you.

“I love you,” you sigh, pressing your palm to his cheek. He looks so innocent now, the amber in his eyes now faded back to the chocolatey brown color you love so much.

“And I love that you’re mine.”

#ficswithluv #bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #smutcentralnet #btswriterscollective #magicshopnet #bangtanhq #bangtanshadowfamily #kpopuniversenet #bhqdrabbles #hoseok x reader #werewolf bts #werewolf hoseok #hoseok smut

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jamie-leah · 3 years

Text

War of Wolves (21)

Season 1

Episode 21 - Kill Them All

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You have been on the streets for the past two years, ever since your accident that left you with the ability to tell if someone is lying. You work as an informant for the white wolf and his mob but you had never met him…until you overhear a phone call that leads you to saving his life. Now he wants you to work for him. Its an offer you couldn’t refuse…right?

Word Count: 2160

Warnings: Violence, death, injury, hospitals, swearing

A/N: Well Lovelies this is the penultimate episode. There is only 1 more after this. I feel this part is a little rushed, but the season can't last forever. Enjoy Lovelies and see you on the last one!

<---Previous Episode Next Episode--->

WoW Masterlist. Series Masterlist. Oneshot Masterlist

BUCKY’S POV

All the plans had been made. They had touched down last night and had made it to one of Bucky’s smaller estates.

The plan was to storm the castle. Noah had provided detailed plans of the place and more of Darren’s and Bucky’s men touched down a few hours ago.

The only thing now was timing. Bucky was waiting on a call from Noah to tell them when the best time to strike was. The waiting was killing him.

Agonising hours passed until Bucky got a call from Noah, “tonight. Strike tonight. Harry is gone on business and he’s taken a bunch of men. This is the best you’ll get numbers wise”.

Bucky shakes his head, looking at Steve, “I want Harry there, I can’t let him get away-“.

Steve cuts him off, “if we have a good chance to get her now, take it Buck. We’ll get Harry another time”.

Bucky stares at his friend a little longer before talking to Noah again, “okay. We’ll be there tonight, as soon as its dark. I’ll keep you posted”.

After Bucky hung up that call, he was nonstop, making sure everyone knew what they were doing and where they had to be.

It was pitch black outside when Bucky and his men arrived at the imposing stone structure. It took Bucky no time at all to disable the men posted outside.

Then once everyone was in place at entrance points around the building, he gave the signal. Everyone breached the castle together, Bucky, Steve, and Sam taking the front door.

They enter to find men already taken out and Noah waiting by a set of double wooden doors and knights armour.

Some men came down the stairs, but Bucky left them to Steve and Sam as he strides over to Noah. His only mission was finding you.

Noah guides him over to a knight’s armour and the door behind it. Bucky barely hears Noah over the chaos in the background, “go, I’ll cover the entrance”.

Bucky pats him on the shoulder briefly before stepping over the threshold. The gunfire and shouting sounds muted between the stone walls.

Bucky moves quickly, but quietly, ears straining, and eyes peeled for even a glimpse of you. It had only been a week, but it was the longest of his life. He might as well have gone without breathing for that long.

Urgency danced along every nerve ending and heightened his senses. Something was compelling him to go deeper, further. He could feel you here, somewhere.

As Bucky kept creeping along, he could see what looked like a few cells down the end of the hall. His gut clenched not only at the thought of you being in there for a week but as if he just knew you were there.

Bucky jogs past all the doors in the corridor until he’s standing in front of the cells. They were dark but he could make out a lump on a cot in the first cell.

He strides up to the door and uses his metal arm to rip the lock that was in place, letting the door swing open. He makes his way over quickly but pulls up short at just how small and fragile you look, worse than when he first saw you from the streets.

He almost hesitates to touch you for fear of breaking you. He gently pulls the thin blanket from you and hears you murmur. He released a breath he didn’t know he was holding at the knowledge you were still alive.

As he gets closer, he whispers, “Y/N, doll, it’s me, it’s Bucky”.

He hears you murmur again, “go away”.

Hurt blossoms in his chest at your words but they soon die when he hears you again, “I know it’s not you, you’re in my head. Please go away, it hurts too much to see that it’s not you”.

Bucky gently pulls on your shoulder until you twist. Anger spikes at seeing how hollow you look but he smiles at you softly as he watches you taking him in. He waits, noticing how you linger on his eyes before saying, “Bucky?”.

“Yeah, doll”.

A ghost of a smile graces your lips, but it changes just as Bucky feels a blow to the head. It doesn’t knock him out though as he rolls with the impact further into the cell. He sees stars as he hears you scream from your cot.

He shakes his head to clear his vision in time to see a blonde guy punch you in the face, knocking you out cold. Red is all he sees, fury and rage propelling him to tackle the guy to the ground.

They hit the stone ground hard, rolling with fists flying. Bucky barely even registers the blows as he finally stops the momentum. He grabs the guy by the shirt with his flesh hand and uses his metal hand to keep punching.

Bucky keeps going until he hears bone crunching, until all he can see is the dark red covering his face, until the man stops moving.

Bucky pushes the guy away as he gets up to go to you. He notices how impossibly still you are and the trickle of blood coming from your nose. Bucky lays two fingers on your throat softly. He can feel a pulse but its faint.

He wastes no more time, scooping you up into his arms, holding you close to his body as he practically runs down the hall, urgency nipping at his heels.

As Bucky gets closer to the double doors back to the main foyer, he doesn’t hear anymore gunfire. The battle obviously won.

Noah is still standing by the door, his eyes looking like saucers when they fall onto you.

Steve and Sam hide their emotions better, as Steve says, “some surrendered, what do you want us to-“.

“Kill them”, Bucky doesn’t even stop his stride to the door.

“Buck-“, Sam this time.

Bucky turns to look at the men standing around him. His men. He looks at all of them before saying, “Kill. Them. All. I will not give that order again, are we clear?”.

Bucky doesn’t wait to hear their answers. The sound of gunshots was answer enough.

*2 Days Later*

Bucky had just hung up the phone when Steve walks into the hospital room, “who was that?”.

Bucky scrapes a hand down his face as he sits in the chair next to you again, “it was the doc back home, said he would have a look over Y/N’s medical notes and see if it was safe enough for her to fly back. I want her home when she wakes up”.

Bucky sighs before looking over at Steve, “any sign?”.

Steve shakes his head, “nothing, both of them are in the wind”.

Bucky resists the urge to break things in the hospital. He watches your face, peaceful in the afternoon light to calm down instead. All he could feel was one failure after another for you. The car crashing, letting you get taken, not finding you for a week, and now letting Harry and Isaac disappear.

“It’s not your fault Buck”, Steve says, somehow always reading the thoughts in his head.

Bucky replies, still looking at you, “tell that to her when she wakes up”.

“I won’t have to because she will tell you the exact same thing”, Steve says firmly.

“What am I meant to say to her Steve? That I let that fucker get away? Me? The man that swore to protect her?”, Bucky scoffs.

Steve shuffles until he can look Bucky in the eyes, “you haven’t failed her Bucky. You’re human-“

“Well, I can’t afford to be!”, Bucky roars.

Bucky clenches his fist, biting his tongue until he continues between clenched teeth, “I have too many people counting on me. We may have won the battle this time Steve, but it’s far from over. This is a war and I fully intend to win at any cost. This is a war and I want them all dead. Every last single one of them”.

The silence stretched. Steve didn’t disagree, especially since they went after Peggy and the kids. Bucky sighs again, as if he was being crushed under the weight of everything he insisted he would carry himself, “go home Steve”.

“I’ll head back to the hotel-“.

“No. Home. Go home Steve. Go and see your wife and your kids. Take some time, because it won’t get any easier from here. Not only will we have Harry and Isaac to deal with, but we took a hit. People will be talking, and we need to get a hold of that shit. I don’t want anyone thinking they can take us. I’m still the White fucking Wolf and I need everyone to remember why. So, go home Steve. I’ll be back soon with Y/N”.

Bucky registers Steve’s shoes against the floor, and the click of the door opening. It was a few minutes of silence before Steve murmurs, “you are the White Wolf…but you’re also Bucky Barnes, my best friend, Sam’s best friend. You’re godfather to my children and practically a brother to Peggy. And Y/N? She might as well already be your wife. What I’m saying Punk is, don’t lose sight of who you really are in the midst of this war”.

He lets the words sink in before Bucky hears the click of the door closing. Bucky goes back to studying your face. His eyes tracing the bruises changing colour over your sharp angles. The rise and fall of your chest.

He lets a tear fall as he lays his head lightly on your stomach, hugging you like a lost child would their teddy. This was the first time he ever felt, he ever wished that he was anyone other than a mob boss.

YOUR POV

You come back slowly. To the sound of beeping and the feel of a soft, slightly ridged bed beneath you.

You keep your eyes closed, trying to get a sense with your body if someone is in the room.

When it feels safe enough you open your eyes slowly, not having a choice against the lights in the room. Your eyes water and you let the tears travel down your cheeks as you try not to move.

A quick scan of the room shows there is no one around and the longer you look around the faster memory comes back. You don’t want to believe your eyes. You don’t want to believe that you’re in the med wing of your home, with the thought of Bucky somewhere within. You didn’t want to believe it for fear that you will wake up back in the cell or in that room with Isaac.

But the longer you lay there, staring at every piece of the room, focusing on your breathing the more you realised this isn’t a dream or a hallucination.

You sit up, muscles protesting the movement. It takes you longer to swing your legs out of bed and even longer to stand on your feet.

The first time you try, you crumple like a fawn on new legs, the bed the only thing stopping you from hitting the floor.

Your chest heaving, you try again, standing in one place a little longer before feeling your legs buckle again. You repeat the process a few times, until your shaky legs are strong enough to carry you.

That is when you decide to take everything out. The machines start beeping and you know your time is limited now, people will crowd the room within minutes, but you have to find Bucky first. You have to know this is real.

You hold onto the bed for as long as possible as you let your legs remember how to walk on their own. When you run out of bed you grab a hold of the door, letting it swing out as you follow the wall with your hands.

The halls are empty, and you couldn’t be more grateful as you start to take easier steps closer and closer to Bucky’s office.

As the office comes within sight you hear the door open and he steps out, looking one way and then the other, his eyes landing on you. He was holding a phone to his ear but the moment he sees you he hangs up.

You take him in, both in disbelief at either ends of the hall staring. Your lips part, “Bucky?”.

He strides towards you at the sound of his name, purpose filling every step. He doesn’t hesitate as he reaches you. His hands gentle against your skin as he sweeps you up bridal style. The smell of him fills your nose as you bring your hands up to cup his face.

You stare at him for the longest time, focusing on his eyes and you finally accept that its him as your eyes well up, “Bucky”.

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#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky #bucky fanfic #james buchanan barnes #bucky fandom #bucky series #bucky fic #bucky x y/n #mob!bucky #james bucky barnes #marvel

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peaceoutofthepieces · 3 years

Text

Tracing Time

Sunday, 15:48

Song: Glass Animals - Heat Waves

Sander starts as fingers snap in front of his face.

His focus returns slowly to settle on Emilie’s hand, where her dark skin is patchy with even darker pencil stains. His eyes skip up her arm and over her shoulder to her face, where she’s watching him with amusement. She’s sat with her back to the low stone wall across from where he’s slouched on the grass, legs stretched out in front of her and kicking against Gilles’s ass. They’re at the park, clustered together on a free patch of grass in the sun.

“You still with us, rocketman?” she asks.

“It’s Starman,” Thomas corrects, without once breaking his gaze away from his book, hazel eyes intensely focused behind his glasses. His long form is tucked so tightly from back to toe between two trees that Sander winced at the sight of him, but Thomas seems completely content.

Emilie pulls a face at Sander, as if he should also be annoyed that Thomas remembers this Bowie fact, and Sander huffs as he smiles.

Gilles rolls over onto their back and effectively dislodges Emilie’s feet from their perch atop their backside. “Either way, we can all agree you’re up in space.” They gesture at Sander, then leave their hand hovering in midair. Sander smacks it in a high-five just to watch Gilles shoot him a dark, unimpressed look.

“You didn’t hear any of the conversation we just had,” Emilie says, gentler than usual. “What were you thinking about?”

What a question. He doesn’t remember the last thing he’d been thinking about, or the first, but there are a few lingering snippets from in between. He remembers thinking about his project, worrying over the details he summoned in his head and telling himself he’d gotten it done and it was fine. He was thinking about the dream he’d had last night, where he’d been chasing a wolf through a forest and fell right down deep into a puddle, and how he’d woken up in the late morning damp not from drowning but from sweat. Then he’d gone back, at some point, to where his mind always goes.

“Just, where Robbe and I can go for dinner when he’s back.”

Gilles groans dramatically and Emilie sighs dramatically and Thomas smiles slightly, at them or at Sander or at whatever he’s reading, Sander isn’t sure.

“Dude, you are with your friends, you need to learn to daydream about your boyfriend on your own damn time,” Gilles complains, rolling over this time until they’re lying atop Sander’s feet, gazing up at him plaintively. Sander’s boots are bound to be a literal pain in their side, but Gilles gives no indication of it as they wrap their arms around Sander’s raised knee. “Love us.”

Sander snorts, wiggling the leg his friend is holding just to hear a whine of protest. “Sure.”

Emilie flips her cornrow braids over her shoulder and pops a crisp in her mouth. “So where are you taking him for dinner?”

Gilles snaps their head around to glare at her. “Don’t encourage him,” they complain.

“But it annoys you,” she says, “which amuses me.”

Sander bites down a smirk as Gilles’s expression flips into one of betrayal and they pull away from Sander to curse at her in rapid French. Emilie listens calmly, although her lips are also curved in amusement as Gilles’s tan cheeks darken further and puff out in frustration. Somewhere amidst the rant Emilie’s brows raise, and then she responds to Gilles smugly in the same language, with what Sander knows is only slightly less fluency. He could understand most of the interaction if he wanted to, but instead he just absorbs words here and there and meets Thomas’s eyes before pulling a face.

Thomas’s lips quirk in response, and he gives a tiny shake of his head. He gestures subtly between their arguing friends and then makes a heart shape with his hands, mouthing ‘sickening’ for Sander’s eyes only.

Or so they think, until Gilles raises their voice and returns to Flemish to warn, “I saw that, Aarden.”

Thomas just blinks his eyes innocently, and Gilles scoffs as Sander snorts again.

“Can we come with you to the station?” Emilie asks suddenly, and Sander looks to her to find that she’s already staring back with her damn puppy eyes.

Nice try, he thinks. He’s immune to those by now. There’s only one set of doe eyes that still gets to him, and they know it. Well, maybe two, but Lucas is basically a Dutch Robbe and doesn’t count, really.

Emilie tries anyway, expression completely innocent as she pushes, “You are going to the station to meet him, right?”

Sander narrows his eyes. They know he is; of course he is. There’s no point in being apart from Robbe for longer than necessary. But he’s not going to say this out loud for them all to start up again.

“Come on,” Gilles whines again. “You can’t let him encroach on all our friend time and then not let us encroach on your Robbe time. And you never let us meet his friends! Who are also your friends!”

“We basically know them already from how much he talks about them,” Thomas points out, rather neutrally.

“Exactly! He talks about them all the time and I don’t even know what they look like. That’s a crime, Sander, a crime! Especially if they’re hot!”

“Shouldn’t matter, considering they’re all taken.” Sander raises a brow.

Gilles makes a ‘pshaw’ sound. “I don’t mind just joining in.” They wiggle their brows pointedly at Sander, then wink, and Sander finally lets out a full laugh. Thomas makes a disappointed noise and Emilie mock gags, but Gilles simply butt-scooches across the grass and tosses an arm around Sander’s shoulders, pinching Sander’s cheek with the same hand. “There it is,” they say, triumphantly.

Sander rolls his eyes. Warmth filters into his cheeks, and he blames it on the pinch. “I’m always laughing at you, you need to stop thinking of it as a reward.”

Emilie slides down enough that when she stretches her leg, her toes tap against Sander’s. “We just like seeing you happy. Accept it.”

“Your happiness is my favourite,” Thomas agrees. “Emilie’s is too smug and Gilles gets even more annoying.”

Gilles protests indignantly and Thomas finally blows them a kiss to settle them. Emilie accepts it with a small shrug while adjusting to trap Sander’s foot between her own. Sander simultaneously zones it all out and sinks into the warmth creeping around him that has nothing to do with Gilles pressed against his side. (Well, it’s maybe a little to do with it, but because of the easy affection, not the body heat.) Gilles is like Sander in the tactile sense, giving touch freely and yearning for it just as much. But whereas Gilles uses it to joke around and often gets shoved away for their efforts, Emilie is frequently offering Sander the comfort of some casual contact and Thomas always allows Sander to lean against his side or overlap their legs where he shies away from the others. It’s a small thing on the long list of reasons that he loves these three people, but it warms him every time.

He knows it’s likely influenced by the fact that he’s the younger one in the group. That even though Gilles and Emilie are barely a year older than him and Thomas almost a year older than that, he’s the baby of the group. It’s a sharp contrast to spending time with Robbe’s friends, and Sander has found he likes being able to bounce between the two dynamics.

Even though none of the youngins treat him anything like an adult, he thinks petulantly. Except, possibly, Aaron.

He’s known this group for longer, however, all of them since his first two weeks in the Academy. It just took a while for them all to gel together into the close-knit framework they are now, and Sander has gotten over the fact that it took them all rallying around after one of his episodes to make it so.

He was grateful they were there then, and nothing has changed.

Still. “I have to go if I want to be there in time to meet them,” he sighs.

Cue more dramatic, petulant groaning.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to just walk with you?” Thomas questions, tilting his head up to follow Sander as he gets to his feet.

Sander grins. “Always the gentleman.” Thomas flushes and stammers slightly and Sander huffs, shaking his head. “No, I’ll be fine. Can’t let this one get too close or someone might get infected.” He reaches down to tug Gilles’s hair.

Gilles releases Sander’s leg from where they’d been clinging on like a child to slap his ass, smiling brightly when Sander jolts and curses. “Fuck you too,” they say cheerfully.

Sander allows one last laugh before grabbing the strap of his bag and hoisting it onto his shoulder. He winks at Thomas and pauses by Emilie to lean down and kiss her head, allowing her to kiss his cheek in return before saying his goodbyes. They all call after him, Emilie throwing in a few woots and suggestive teasing while Gilles shouts dramatic terms of endearments until Sander flips them off. He hears their laughter as he gets farther away and doesn’t bother hiding his own smile, shaking his head fondly as he slips his phone out of his pocket to check for messages.

There’s nothing new, Robbe having been silent after telling Sander they’d made the train and what time they would be back, allowing him uninterrupted time with his friends. He wonders if Robbe had been busy with his as well, or if he’d spent most of the journey in his own world. If the couple was anyone but Lucas and Jens, Sander would assume the latter, but it’s more likely the two kept Robbe tied in with their bickering. His smile widens at the thought.

He makes it to the station before the train gets in, and simply takes out an earphone as he leans against the wall so he won’t miss their approach. He still ends up lost in his thoughts to the point that he only sees Robbe when he’s already weaving his way towards him.

Robbe doesn’t barrel into him or squeal or jump into his arms; they aren’t that bad. But he does neatly sidestep everyone without a single glance and sidles right into Sander’s space when he’s close enough, smiling his brilliant smile and leaving Sander’s heart shaking and stuttering.

He pushes away from the wall and they reach for each other at once, his arms engulfing Robbe’s waist as Robbe’s fingers slide into his hair and pull him down into a kiss. Sander hums, smirking slightly against Robbe’s lips when the boy shivers at the vibrations. He doesn’t let himself get entirely lost in it, not in the crowded public space, but he allows himself to indulge a little more than he usually would. He holds Robbe flush against him and sucks Robbe’s bottom lip between his own and swallows the surprised, pleased little noise he gets in return.

“Aww, it’s great to see how much you missed us.” Lucas interrupts them loudly, and Sander drops his head to Robbe’s shoulder with a bit-off groan, ignoring Robbe’s quiet giggle. “You know, all three of us, who I’m sure you’re here to see.”

Sander drags his head up to look over Robbe’s shoulder, immediately catching sight of Lucas’s shit-eating grin where he and Jens have joined them. Sander responds, very simply, with, “Fuck you.”

Lucas’s grin merely widens, and he steps away from Jens’s side long enough for Sander to pull him into a quick hug. Robbe leans back against the wall in his place, shaking his head as Lucas kisses Sander’s cheek with his cheeky smile still in place.

“One of these days, he’s not going to let you get away with that,” Jens warns, though he’s smiling as he tucks Lucas back under his arm. He clasps Sander’s hand in greeting as Lucas scoffs.

“I think he always will,” Lucas decides, tilting his head at Sander. Sander flicks his forehead, amused when Lucas is a few seconds too late in his attempt to bat him away. “And he deserves it. Asshole,” he complains.

Sander blows him a kiss and ignores Jens’s noise of protest. Then his attention is easily diverted once more as Robbe grips his arm and gives a small tug. Sander falls back next to him and immediately looks over, but Robbe just presses a kiss to his shoulder before resting his cheek there. He’s wearing his earring today, and he’s careful not to smush it between them. Sander would rather have it between his teeth.

“I missed you,” Robbe sighs. He wrinkles his nose and gestures at his friends before leaning up close to Sander, to make his stage-whisper that bit more dramatic. “They’re so gross.”

Jens immediately gapes, as they both knew he would, while Lucas simply shakes his head, resigned to what’s to come. “Bullshit,” Jens protests. “And even if it was true, you don’t get to comment, because I have been putting up with this—“ he gestures between the two of them “—for way longer already. And you are the epitome of gross.”

Lucas winces, nodding slightly. “He does have a point.”

“You’re disowned,” Robbe tells him, offended.

Sander huffs. “He’s an asshole, is what he is.”

Lucas places a hand on his chest and, in the most deadpan tone he can manage, says, “I am a fucking delight.”

Jens snorts.

Then Lucas gapes and pointedly steps away from him.

This is exactly what Sander loves about them. The pointless banter, the predictability stemming from familiarity, the easy camaraderie that bounces between them. He hadn’t thought about wriggling his way in with Robbe’s friends when he’d first sought the boy out; he hadn’t cared. But since they got together, he’s been constantly feeling the need to try. He doesn’t want to be a part of Robbe’s life separate to all the rest, and he’d recognised that fairly quickly, but had gotten lucky with Milan.

The others all took to him with their own enthusiasm, which he was relieved about, but like everything else in his life, it took a little more time.

To have this now feels like a blessing. But he marvels, once again, about how Robbe has been his one and only surety from first sight.

It makes him tug the boy closer as Jens goes about placating his own boyfriend; of course, at Sander’s expense. “Chill, we all know he’s actually the asshole.” He waves a hand, giving Sander a lopsided smile.

Sander smirks at him. “Jesus, stop flirting, so obsessed with my ass.”

“Nope, lost your chance, you were hotter as a blond,” Jens immediately snarks back.

Now Sander is the one placing a hand on his chest, jaw dropping, as Robbe makes a sound somewhere between admonishment towards Jens and comfort for Sander. Lucas tilts his head and gazes at Sander critically. Sander zeroes in on this reaction and jabs a finger at him. “You better not agree with him when you clearly have a thing for brunets.”

Lucas purses his lips, then rubs his hand over them to wipe away a smile. “Yeah, but, not everyone can pull off the bleached look like you do.”

“But you still think I’m hot now, right?” Sander presses.

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

Sander makes a triumphant noise as Jens tosses his hands up.

“I’m literally right here,” Jens reminds Lucas.

Lucas shrugs. “You flirted with him first.”

“I did not flirt, you know that is not my flirting.”

“Okay but then, what is your flirting?”

Robbe clears his throat, finally picking his head up off Sander’s shoulder to blink his doe eyes at all of them, lips quirked up adorably after listening silently to their bickering. “Hey, guys? Yeah, as much as I’ve enjoyed listening to this the past couple days, I’m fucking starving. Can we at least continue this somewhere with food?”

Jens immediately abandons his argument to nod, setting a hand on his stomach as if suddenly realising his own hunger. “Something greasy.”

“Then sweet,” Lucas requests, molding himself to Jens’s side again.

Sander tilts his head back to sigh at the ceiling, acknowledging the fact that his idea of a romantic dinner with Robbe has just been thwarted. Then he picks up Robbe’s bag and slings it over his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s nose. “Fine, but Robbe chooses.”

Robbe beams at him and takes his hand again, then immediately starts to tow him away.

As always, Sander lets him.

~^~

previous/next

#wtfock #sobbe #robbe x sander #rosander #van der stoffels #sander season #tracing time #gilles uses he/they pronouns #they all bow down to emilie #thomas is really just a gentleman #thomas aarden #emilie de vries #gilles visser

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tiramisiyu · 3 years

Text

【恋与制作人】 MLQC: Chapter 35 “The Final Answer” Summary

Translation Masterlist

Summarized Chapters: [to be updated]

Spoiler alert: Please note that all content in this post is content that has not yet been released in the global server.

35-1

Rainstorm, lightning, hurricanes, earthquakes…

An increase in extreme weather and natural disasters resulted in a prophecy that started circulating in the dark –

“Two daughters of the world

One will lead towards the light, one will be corrupted from the dark.

The left hand of the angel wields a sword to puncture through all deception and lies.”

Right now, everyone desires to return to a peaceful life, but the footsteps that have stopped still must go forth, until…

The moment “that” draws near.

There’s been an increase in extreme weather and natural disasters for the past month, such that it’s been a long time since the sun has been seen

MC thinks about how Victor has been out of contact for a month

As MC and Kiki wait for Minor to drive up, they witness a tree topple, then a young man uses his Evol to stop it before it hits a kid. The parents of the kid run over to grab their child and look at the Evolver in disgust. Other passersby also say some mean things.

Apparently, similar things (where people disdain of Evolvers) have been frequent

MC sees that the young man is No.93; he expresses surprise that she’s still alive

Minor drives up, so MC offers to send 93 off, but he says he has elsewhere to be and rushes off. MC notices that he’s desperately clutching onto a black card

On the car’s TV, the news host says that the increase in abnormal phenomena is proportionate to the increase in Evolvers

MC wonders about Black Queen’s words, “Soon, you will understand that I am the person who will save this world” and what it means

Minor steps on the brakes, seeing someone suddenly appear in front of the car –

MC thought Shaw was unconscious, but he is able to speak weakly and gives something to MC before passing out again

They take him to the hospital

STF and LFG delegations are meeting up, including Gavin and Goldman (who is representing Victor)

Lucien walks in with key researchers from Ultima Bioresearch

Helios appears on the room screen, with several people behind him

35-3

MC waits outside the emergency room, confirming what Shaw gave her was the original copy of her dad’s notebook

Suddenly, a young man hands a black card to MC, saying that the address on it will get rid of their Evols and that the card is an indication that they were selected. MC remembers that 93 also had that card

There’s the letter “A” on the card, and MC realizes it’s her other self/Black Queen

The emergency door room opens, and the doctor says that the wounds are dealt with and him falling unconscious is due to Evol overuse

MC asks what happened to him; Shaw says it’s not important, and he got the notebook back because he caused her to lose it

Shaw then says there’s no particular secret to the notebook, and in MC’s hands, it’s just a normal notebook

Shaw notices the black card, says it was made by “her”, and it has an attached Evol that affects those who touch it – this makes people believe that Evolvers are responsible for all disasters and they need to get rid of Evols to end the disasters

Shaw’s Evol has been heavily damaged by her, so can’t touch the card

MC guesses that Black Queen’s Evol is de-evolution of Evols, as Shaw confirms – the more de-evolutions she does, the more power she gets, so MC should stop her ASAP

MC asks about what side he’s on –

Shaw: I study archaeology. Aren’t you curious about why? Those who walk through history have no position. Because those who walk will not stop, we will not stand on any side. The only thing I want to do is discover truth, and then push forward the discovery of truth. The moment that walking stops, this means that this world is headed to the end. Though I’ve always had my doubts, now I can somewhat believe that you just might be able to protect this world.

MC: I definitely will!

35-4

After the hospital, they head to an emergency relief centre for Evolvers with no homes, to drop off supplies

(After Leto’s disappearance, rather than getting better, things got worse between Evolvers and normal people)

The person in charge thanks MC for her efforts in providing supplies and with Miracle Finder, then asks if she knows what the black card that Evolvers have been getting is, and notes that people who got it have been weird

MC advises the person in charge to have them thrown away if anyone gets another one

MC and Minor head to the sanatorium noted on the card; the two are planning to sneak in while disguised

A man dressed in grey suddenly walks out from behind a column, startling both, then takes them inside when MC displays the black card. He says that “she” is here today, so they’re pretty lucky, and that “she” is the world’s savior

MC and Minor’s act involves pretending that Minor is a normal guy whose little sister, MC, suddenly got an Evol

The man takes them to the room with lots of people seeking de-evolution, though MC does not find 93 among them

Suddenly, someone addresses MC and Minor

35-6

The person is Gavin, disguised in casualwear and looking dangerously angry

MC says they’re here for de-evolution; Gavin says that he’s doing the same. MC realizes they have the same target after seeing the black card in Gavin’s hand

Someone comes to take MC and Minor, as it’s they’re turn; Gavin says to let him go first, the person suggests for them to come together.

MC says to let Minor stay out (since he’s not an Evolver), hinting at him to escape when possible

They’re taken to a dark path where “she” is at the end

When MC asks the person why “she” is helping them, he says that “evolution” is just a complete lie and than everyone will soon know that de-evolution is the only way to get the single opportunity to live. MC feels that he’s already lost all reason

MC and Gavin walk hand-in-hand down the dark path, realizing that this path is much too long for the size of the sanatorium

They finally arrive at a wall, carved with some symbols

With the sound of an explosion, a heatwave surges over, lighting up the whole path; Gavin tackles MC down as the corridor collapses

35-7

After the collapsing, the two confirm if either have injuries

They’re completely blocked off on both ends on the path

MC thinks that it’s because her disguising wasn’t complete enough, attracting their suspicions; Gavin says it’s fine, as he came to confirm something and they’re giving him this chance

Using his phone, Gavin realizes that there’s no signal here and… time has stopped

The two search for any places with special characteristics; MC finds a little path with the sound of water

Down the path, they’re blocked again, and Gavin uses his Evol to break it down – behind this wall is a scene of clear skies and a waterfall, which MC recognizes as the waterfall in the north. Gavin confirms that they’ve been taken into this space, though this time there’s no need to leave it around

MC: Can this place be destroyed?

Gavin: Yes. The STF already has a preliminary grasp on the whereabouts of the person behind this, so this place is already useless. Before we make our moves this time, I will not leave them a single path to back out with.

Using his Evol, Gavin destroys that space and they jump down from there to the waterfall scene, the wind carrying them to the ground

They meet up with an STF squad with Eli there, who says their guess was right, which Gavin proceeds to explain

Gavin: Actually, in the past month, more than one “de-evolution points” have appeared in Loveland. These “de-evolution points” have no connection between them and they’re very far apart. The person behind has appeared simultaneously at multiple places. So we theorized that these “de-evolution points” will use some method to lead these people to one location. And the place that’s most likely to be used for this is this place.

MC wonders, if Evols are bringing disaster and since everyone will die at the end, why does she need to bother with Evol de-evolution?

They suddenly get a citywide warning for everyone to be on high alert; soon after, MC feels an earthquake coming on

35-9

Leaving behind an STF squad, they rush to the city, hearing that there was an earthquake in the neighbouring city and the shockwaves reached Loveland, causing panic and damaged buildings

MC wonders if all this really is due to Evolvers

Gavin: MC, don’t waver in your judgement. Everyone has the right to live. If they feel fear due to the unknown, you can get rid of the unknown. You’ve always helped more people understand Evolvers, starting from the first episode of Miracle Finder… I don’t know what to do, but if there really is doomsday… I will face it with you.

On the road they’re on, the cars suddenly stop and Gavin heads off to check it, as a throng of people attempt to surround the STF

MC starts recording this, and notices that these people are holding the black cards

STF members can only defend from the crowd, as they can’t actively harm them; Gavin ends up forming a wind barrier to barricade off the throng of people

Using his wind, Gavin pulls the black cards away from the people into the air and cuts them into pieces, making the people regain their senses

Gavin: Evolvers will always exist beside everyone. They have had nothing to do with the disasters in the past, and they will have nothing to do with them from now on. No one has the right to deprive others of fair existence, and attacking Evolvers is as despicable as it gets! The disasters are the enemy that everyone should be confronting, not Evolvers.

Gavin gives the command to STF to prepare to set off, then goes to MC and gives her permission to use her footage

Gavin heads off after MC convinces him that there’s no need to send her back, as both realize that they need to deal with Black Queen ASAP to handle the disasters

35-11

MC and her staff are working on reporting how the disasters affected Evolvers at a plaza where citizens were evacuated to

MC is also getting a ton of notifications from the video she took earlier, with comments in approval of Gavin’s words; the clouds have also dispersed, revealing the moon and stars

Lucien calls; when MC asks about if he knows about what happened with Black Queen, he says that he got a few of the cards, did some analysis on them, and got some clues

Lucien has MC look at the brightest star in the sky, then close her eyes and walk according to his directions

She arrives at a place where there’s a deep crevice between tall buildings. Behind her is Lucien

Lucien: Were you afraid that I was tricking you again?

MC: I don’t think you were tricking me. Plus, even if you tricked me over here, I haven’t suffered any damages.

Lucien: You’re right. Do you trust me this much?

MC: Yes. This is the last time I will answer this question. This time, are you going to tell me to not trust you that much?

Lucien: This time, I won’t. In the future, you must continue to trust me.

Lucien then says that he created this crevice, then pushes MC into it; MC seems to see him mouth “Don’t be scared”

35-12

After a fall, MC finds herself in Lucien’s arms, finding themselves in an “unfamiliar yet familiar wilderness”

Following Lucien’s gaze, MC then sees Black Queen sitting in a large room within a crevice at their feet, wearing half a mask

MC wants to escape, but Lucien hints to her that he will explain to her soon

In the room, 93 appears, taking out a black card and looking somewhat vacantly, asking for de-evolution, and Black Queen obliges

Lucien: Do you want to stop this?

MC nods

Lucien: What if he truly does want to de-evolve?

MC: He can make his decision when under no external influences, rather than now.

Lucien: MC, right now I need you to cooperate in verifying something.

Lucien suddenly gets very close to MC, making her heart skip a beat

35-14

A white light comes from MC, and a black whirlpool from Black Queen

MC sees that Black Queen is telling 93 that she’s tired, and he can come tomorrow, and he leaves

Black Queen says that she’s been noticed, and if so, she can’t leave her (presumably MC) for too long, then seems to look at MC in declaration of war

Lucien says that this place is an independent existence, and Black Queen can’t see them

Lucien takes them out of the place, his eyes covering MC’s eyes, and MC is able to see through between his fingers that he pressed his lips to the back of his hand

They return to under the clear starry skies, the crevice gone

Lucien makes a call, saying that “The first test can end now”. When MC asks about this “test” –

Lucien: Do you still remember the space-folding experiment?

MC: But don’t you not have an Evol now?

Lucien: Technology is the best copying power itself. This experiment has been in progress for a long time, and just hasn’t been used before.

MC then expresses concerns about whether Lucien has rested, but Lucien suggests stargazing instead

MC asks if de-evolution is a scam of hers

Lucien: If it’s just de-evolution, then it’s not a scam. But her plan comes entirely from a lie. It’s not to save the world, nor is it to save Evolvers. Because she is your shadow to begin with. The stronger your power, the stronger hers is. Your Evol is “evolution”, while hers is “de-evolution”. After you awakened, changes happened with the relation between you two.

Lucien: So just now, I did a test to prove that this conclusion is correct. Just now, when your Evol was pushed to the peak by emotion, she momentarily lost the power of de-evolution. [This means] Your power can light up this darkness – more accurately, only you can do this. On one worldline, only one of the same person can exist.

MC realizes that the existence of Black Queen comes from all the worldlines being combined into one, except for a single omitted line

Lucien confirms this, but reminds that it is just his guess, that Black Queen aims to get power to destroy MC and join the two worlds together

MC: How will that affect the world right now?

Lucien: Perhaps it will accelerate the collapse of this world, or perhaps it won’t.

MC decides that she will find Black Queen and end everything

Just when Lucien offers to send MC home, they suddenly hear a clamor far away on the plaza and head over to see

35-15

Two groups are fighting with a group of children between; one group is complaining that the kids are Evolvers that will bring trouble; the others, Evolvers themselves, say that there’s no reason for Evolvers to not be there and everyone is trying to avoid the disasters

MC and Lucien realize that it’s the orphanage kids and director

MC sees a vacant-eyed man with a black card coming at her when she tries to use a loudspeaker, and decides to use her light attack to disperse the crowd

Lucien blocks her from the man, and notes that it’s about to rain

The crowd continues fighting as Lucien raises his hand

A light gathers at Lucien’s fingertips, dispersing towards the sky

People gradually regain reason under the rain that’s become light droplets, shaking hands and making peace

Lucien: If this were my true Evol, would you like it? This way, you should be able to have a good dream.

MC: Why do you…

Lucien: Because I felt that you needed it.

Lucien: That was a lie. MC, hold out your hand. I just remembered that I have something to give to you.

Lucien hands a little light ball to MC

Lucien: Now, do you hear what I haven’t said aloud?

> I felt it – a strong colour, sweet and warm, with a faint bitterness. Like an autumn cornfield, like a single rose on barren soil, like a rainbow that occupied the entire sky. Unrestrained, unconcealed, and in my hand right now.

35-17

The camp on the plaza has calmed down

MC flips through her dad’s notebook, remembering what Lucien said before leaving

Lucien: Since she knows that her weakness has been exposed, she will begin the next step in her actions very soon. But we don’t need to be anxious… The biggest connection between you and her is your pasts. Perhaps someone has told you the answer early on.

MC picks up a call from Shaw

Shaw: Just now, her plan changed. Tomorrow, she’s preparing to become this world’s Queen for real. If only one of you can exist in this world, she’s determined to win.

At BS’s old site, Black Queen strokes a grey throne, saying that “It’s time”, looking at a row of 10 people below

Helios: We have already prepared for the coronation of the Black Swan Queen.

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mr love victor #mr love lucien #mr love kiro #mr love gavin #mr love shaw #mlqc translation #love and producer #there isn't one of those preview images with the chapter title and the boys #so no header pic rip

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 3 years

Text

Hold On Tight, Learn To Behave (Ao3)

[Wenzhou one-shot set post-canon, after episode 36 but before the bonus - NSFW and a quick warning as well for some blood/rough sex]

@evilteddybear requested: I’d love WKX and ZZS to have a conversation on all they’ve hidden from one another by the end of the series. WKX lied about his death, then ZZS, then WKX again. Talking isn’t dramatic enough for TV so they never reach true honesty. They love each other but also hurt each other. And I am not sure that WKX ever realizes that hurting himself hurts ZZS too.

and an Anon requested: I would love to see something set post-canon where ZZS's body is like a live-wire where instead of it being hard (lol) to get off, he manages it really really easy bc suddenly everything has come back and it’s A LOT. I just wanna see WKX fuck several orgasms out of ZZS (literally or in other ways) and ZZS being a mess about it bc holy shit he can FEEL again.

(special thanks/shoutout to @omgpurplefattie for suggesting that these two prompts go well together, you gave me the idea to combine them!)

“Lao Wen!”

Zhou Zishu sits up sharply, tongue still locked to the roof of his mouth from shouting his lover’s name, and he raises trembling hands to scrub tiredly at his face.

“Ah-Xu?” Wen Kexing’s voice is sleep-ragged at his side and Zhou Zishu does his best to slow his breathing, to try to stop his heart from pounding in his chest. He tries to stop seeing his zhiji dead right in front of his eyes, but if it’s not the sight of him falling off a cliff then it’s that of him lying dead and still in a burning shed, and if it’s not either of those two haunting memories then it’s the most recent, that of opening his eyes to find Wen Kexing fading right in front of him, hand in hand as his qi drained out of him like water through a sieve. A sob manages to escape his throat despite his best efforts and Wen Kexing is on him in an instant.

“Ah-Xu!” he gasps as he sits up and wraps long arms around him, hugging Zhou Zishu close to his chest. “What is it? What happened?”

Zhou Zishu knows even as he does it that it’s petty, but he pushes Wen Kexing away. Not as strongly as he has in the past, perhaps, but he does it, an elbow to his lover’s side that makes him wince and loosen his grip though he still doesn’t let go entirely.

Zhou Zishu’s hands curl into tight fists in the blankets still covering their laps and he tries to forget about Wen Kexing’s hands, ice cold and limp in his grip as Zhou Zishu had scrambled to find some way to pass his qi back. His arms remember the weight of Wen Kexing’s corpse, the way it had felt to gather his lifeless body close to his chest and bury his face in that silver-white hair, the only outward sign of the strain Wen Kexing had forced himself through just to make Zhou Zishu immortal - with no regard for his own life, or for how empty Zhou Zishu would find the world without his zhiji at his side.

And mourning these incidents feels so strange when the man himself is not only alive and perfectly fine at his side, but at fault for each and every one. It’s this thought that sends him staggering from their bed to shove his feet into his shoes.

“Ah-Xu wait, where are you going? It’s the middle of the night,” Wen Kexing points out like he doesn’t already know it. It doesn’t take Zhou Zishu long to find his outer robes to shrug on over the layer he sleeps in and he doesn’t even bother tying them shut before he stalks from the room and out into the rest of the sprawling armory around them.

He hears Wen Kexing curse and tumble out of bed behind him but he doesn’t stop to wait for him, he just starts wandering in an attempt to soothe the itching under his skin. In the aftermath of everything, after Zhou Zishu had found a way to pass their refined qi back and forth, after Wen Kexing had remained unconscious for over a month recovering from nearly fizzling out into nothing, they’ve been too happy about being reunited in the past few days since he woke for Zhou Zishu to find space to comfortably fit the fact that he’s angry as well. It hardly feels fair to say anything now, and he’s been forcing himself not to give a voice to the ugly thing in his chest mainly because he feels that he knows what Wen Kexing will say. That he lived, that they’re here now, that they finally have as long as they want to be together so why spoil it with unhappy things?

And Zhou Zishu is trying, but it’s so hard. He shoves it all away in his waking hours but then it comes back to haunt him in his sleep and he has to watch his zhiji die over and over again, every single fucking night.

Zhou Zishu comes to a stop at random and begins idly running his hand over the books on the closest shelf, searching for something he hasn’t read yet, or even just something he read so casually first as to be able to enjoy it a second time. Anything for a distraction, anything to try to get rid of the sourness of the bile rising in his throat from the remembered panic of opening his eyes, his senses fully restored, only for the first thing he felt properly since the application of the Nails to be his lover’s dead body. Well, nearly-dead, but it had certainly felt close enough to his newly awakened senses.

Wen Kexing finds him as he’s still brushing dust off of the contents of one of the cubbyholes in the shelf.

“Ah-Xu,” he calls, quiet in the gloom of the sparse few lanterns and the moonlight filtered through vents in the mountainside high above their heads, reflected and magnified by a neatly hidden collection of mirrors far above their heads. “There isn’t light enough to read by tonight. What are you doing?”

“Go back to bed.”

“Ah-Xu -”

Zhou Zishu moves without conscious thought when Wen Kexing reaches for him, fingers just catching on his sleeve before Zhou Zishu whips around to grab him and pin him to the shelves, a furious glare in his damp eyes. The blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scuffle isn’t nearly enough to wind either one of them, but they’re both breathing hard anyway into the scant space between them. Perhaps Zhou Zishu shouldn’t be surprised to find that it only takes the span of a single breath for Wen Kexing’s concerned gaze to go steely, rising to meet the fury he must find in Zhou Zishu’s glare.

“Go ahead,” Wen Kexing challenges with a haughty jerk of his chin. “What is it?”

It’s easier like this, with Wen Kexing seemingly angry right back at him. This is not his Lao Wen, this is the Chief of Ghost Valley - fitting, when he feels less like Ah-Xu and more like the leader of the Window of Heaven, full of a cold sense of merciless righteousness that usually ends with blood on his hands.

“I’m tired of dreaming about all the times you ripped my fucking heart out,” Zhou Zishu finally manages to spit and when Wen Kexing bares his teeth at him in a parody of a smile it’s almost a shock to see his teeth gleaming white rather than stained pink with someone else’s blood.

“Is that so? The feeling is mutual.”

“How many times would you have continued to make me watch you die if we hadn’t trapped ourselves in here?”

“You trapped us here with your avalanche trick, and I would have kept doing it as many times as necessary to keep you alive!” Wen Kexing is practically snarling, though he doesn’t fight against Zhou Zishu’s hold keeping him pinned to the shelf.

“You didn’t have to follow me here!”

Wen Kexing does fight back a bit then, just a savage jerk of one arm that frees it from Zhou Zishu’s grip so he can reach up to curl his fingers into a fist in the front of his robes for the purpose of jostling him, as if shaking him will help him understand as he shouts, “After all this anger over my plans to save you, you have the nerve to also be angry that I didn’t stay put when you left me behind to go die anyway?!”

Zhou Zishu is the one to bare his teeth next, but Wen Kexing takes advantage of his moment of trying to formulate a reply to flip their positions so quickly Zhou Zishu nearly becomes dizzy even before his back is slammed against the shelf and Wen Kexing’s forearm presses against his throat.

“After everything we’ve done, everything we had just lost, you left me,” Wen Kexing says next, no longer shouting but the faint glitter of tears in his eyes and clumping his lashes together is somehow more cutting than if he were. “If you die I die, how dare you take my choices away from me!”

“Your choices?!” Zhou Zishu bites back, finding his metaphorical feet again even as he has to go up on his toes a bit to accommodate the way Wen Kexing is pressing him higher with the arm on his throat. “Your choices are why I was dying so quickly in the first place! I was going to be healed, Da Wu was going to fix everything but your plan that included everyone but me forced my hand! Why would I continue living without you after watching you die? How could you not have known I would try to follow you even after Ye-qianbei stopped me from jumping with you?!”

“How could you throw your life away so quickly?!”

“There is no me without you!”

Zhou Zishu’s shout rings off the stone around them. Wen Kexing slowly releases the pressure on his throat as the reverb of it fades into nothing but silence again broken only by their breaths, too fast and out of sync. But they’re both here. They’re both breathing. They’re glaring daggers at each other, but they’re both here.

“A day without you, a week, a year, an eternity? I don’t want any of it,” Zhou Zishu continues eventually, voice low and fervent. “Of course I tried to follow you. What else would you expect me to do?”

“And then at the last, you turned around and abandoned me. Are you really such a hypocrite, Ah-Xu?”

Zhou Zishu doesn’t refute that, though he can’t quite help but grind his teeth and curl his hand still holding one of Wen Kexing’s wrists a little tighter.

He is, abruptly, exhausted. Perhaps it’s the sleepless nights of relieving Wen Kexing’s ‘deaths’ from every angle. Perhaps it’s the stress of having kept all of this tucked close to his chest since the moment Wen Kexing returned during the second heroes’ conference. Perhaps it’s the way the fight leaves Wen Kexing’s eyes as quickly as it had appeared. Perhaps it’s none of these things, or all of them, but whatever the reason, the thought of somehow keeping score for the next however many years they live, of holding onto resentments and bitterness and playing a constant game of who-owes-whom makes him so tired.

Zhou Zishu tips his head back to rest against the shelf at his back, baring his throat (perhaps unwisely, when Wen Kexing is still so angry at him) and closing his eyes against the sight of the filtered moonlight overhead.

“We can’t keep living like this,” he mutters and he feels Wen Kexing’s body go stiff against his where they’re pressed together practically from chest to ankle.

“Like what? Don’t tell me you regret this already, Ah-Xu. It’s not even spring yet, you have to at least wait for the thaw before you can decide to leave me behind again.”

“Lao Wen!” he protests sharply with a jostle of Wen Kexing’s arm in his grip. “Like this, angry with each other for things that we’ve done because we don’t know how to live for each other. This is getting us nowhere.”

Wen Kexing takes a long, slow breath in and Zhou Zishu is about to drop his head again to look at him when he’s abruptly stopped in his tracks by the feeling of teeth on his neck, too sharp and insistent to be comfortable. He gasps and can’t help but jerk a bit in Wen Kexing’s grip, a frisson of heat slinking down his spine and out towards his fingertips as he follows it with a soothing but possessive pass of the flat of his tongue, hot and wet against his skin.

“Lao Wen?” he manages to gasp around the too-intense pressure of Wen Kexing’s teeth around a different section of his throat, more sensitive than the last - so sensitive his knees nearly threaten to buckle, though that may also be because Wen Kexing chooses that moment to dart a clever hand between the drape of his robes to grab him through his trousers. There’s nothing gentle in the gesture, it’s hard and possessive. Painful.

They haven’t been intimate since Wen Kexing had finally regained consciousness. Between adjusting to their new reality, Wen Kexing finally having an opportunity to begin grieving for Gu Xiang, and Zhou Zishu working to build them something of a permanent living space in the armory, and with an as-of-yet undefined eternity stretching on before them, they’d just...settled. Tried to relax and let time pass as it would now that it’s no longer their master.

Zhou Zishu realizes belatedly that he should have anticipated that it would feel different with the return of his senses, but he is somehow still blindsided by the shock of it, crystal clear and overwhelming. He can feel Wen Kexing’s too-quick exhales against his freshly bruised skin, hot and damp in the chill of their new home. His hand is painfully tight between his legs and Zhou Zishu gasps again as his grip tightens even further, bucking his hips back to try to escape Wen Kexing’s groping but there’s nowhere for him to go. He bites down again and Zhou Zishu swears he can feel every single one of his teeth - no longer just the muted sensation of more pointed pressure than his hands could provide, now he can feel his skin protesting the sharp crush of capillaries, red bruises blooming like aching flowers under his lover’s mouth.

“If you want to be angry then be angry,” Wen Kexing growls into the point of his collarbone, and the bite he leaves there has Zhou Zishu’s back arching without his permission though he at least manages to keep a pathetic whimper locked in his throat. “You’re not getting rid of me so easily.”

Under such an onslaught, it doesn’t take long at all for Zhou Zishu to find his temper again. Wen Kexing is harsh and cruel with him, offering no reprieves or mercy as he takes what he wants. Zhou Zishu has absolutely no qualms about giving him the same in return, digging in with his nails until he pierces his skin, and only then does he scratch up his back and leave bloody furrows in his wake. He bites whatever part of Wen Kexing he can get his mouth on, and finally when Wen Kexing is ever-so-slightly distracted with gathering all of Zhou Zishu’s hair into one hand to yank on it, Zhou Zishu manages to get his ankle hooked behind Wen Kexing’s to kick his leg out from under him. Paired with a shove of the hand he has bunched up in the front of Wen Kexing’s robes, it’s a perfect move to unbalance him and send the pair of them tumbling to the hard ground.

Zhou Zishu doesn’t bother feeling guilty for cushioning his own fall with Wen Kexing’s body, he just sets about continuing what they’d started with a sort of hunger that startles even him, but that Wen Kexing seems to take in stride. He had started this, after all, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that he’s prepared to see it through to the end no matter how rough it should get.

It’s a messy thing, quick and aggressive with absolutely none of the finesse they’ve managed to find together in all the times they’ve done this before. By the time they’ve finished, Wen Kexing’s bared torso is a mess of blood and come - from both of them. Zhou Zishu brushes the back of his hand against the swollen curve of his bottom lip without any regard for the flare of aching, burning pain he finds there where Wen Kexing has bitten him bloody.

“You got hard,” Wen Kexing finally mumbles through bright red lips. Zhou Zishu can see that his teeth are pink as he speaks and he wonders if it should worry him that that feels right. What he had actually said filters through the haze a moment after and he huffs a humorless laugh as he shakes his head a bit and leans back on his heels where he’s straddling Wen Kexing. The motion grinds his ass down against his softening cock and Wen Kexing hisses a little, shuffles his feet like he’s going to try to get away though he settles again after a moment, allowing the overstimulating pressure.

“Philanthropist Wen so kindly traded his life so that I could have all my senses restored,” Zhou Zishu retorts as he crosses his arms over his chest and grinds himself down more purposefully into Wen Kexing’s lap until the man’s back arches and his hands fly down to grip his hips tight enough to bruise there too.

“A fair trade,” Wen Kexing mumbles, still staring at him in bleary wonder. Well, not at him. At his cock, which hasn’t even managed to go entirely soft. How can it, when he can finally feel Wen Kexing’s hands on him properly? When every place their bodies are touching feels like the spark of a struck match?

“And if I hadn’t found a way to pass the qi back to you such a ‘gift’ would be absolutely wasted on me living here alone!”

“You’re still angry after that?”

Zhou Zishu doesn’t even deign to respond to that with words, rather he just grinds his hips again and Wen Kexing chokes on some sort of wounded noise that ends with a whimper. His teeth are no longer bloody though he certainly looks worse for wear, his lips still red even where Zhou Zishu hadn’t split his bottom lip straight down the middle with a particularly vicious bite. There are bruises already blooming dark and possessive all over his chest and shoulders, the imprints of Zhou Zishu’s teeth stark on the pale canvas of his skin. His silver hair is a tangled mess underneath him, his robes equally dishevelled where they had been shoved aside to give Zhou Zishu room to work. As he watches, Wen Kexing releases his hip to drag one elegant hand up his own stomach, his long fingers smearing through the mix of blood and spend to swirl them together before he continues his dragging touch. He smears the mix up his own chest and then pops his fingers in his mouth as he looks up again to meet Zhou Zishu’s gaze.

“In that case, you can have me like that again, if you’d like,” Wen Kexing mumbles as he withdraws his fingers, seemingly uncaring of the mess he’s making of himself as he reaches down to scoop more of their come onto his fingers. Zhou Zishu reaches out to stop him with a hand tight around his wrist.

“Hurting you isn’t going to make me less angry about what you did.”

“Nor I, but it’s nice to get the energy out anyway.”

Zhou Zishu licks at a trickle of blood he can feel beginning to weep from his own split lip and Wen Kexing tracks the movement as if mesmerized by the briefest glimpse of his tongue. Zhou Zishu releases his wrist then and he expects Wen Kexing to return to his task of licking his fingers clean, but instead he drops his hand down again, this time to press his whole palm to the mess on his abs. Before Zhou Zishu can wonder what his fascination with it is, Wen Kexing is wrapping his slicked hand around his cock - and he goes properly hard again so quickly his head spins.

“Oh,” Wen Kexing says softly, eyes wide, as he strokes him just once and Zhou Zishu can’t help but shudder with a punched out little noise that he’s too late to stop. He squeezes his eyes shut and leans forward until he can rest his weight on one hand pressed to the floor next to Wen Kexing’s shoulder, his lips parted as he suddenly struggles to catch his breath. “Oh Ah-Xu, our first time when you can feel me properly shouldn’t have hurt you so much.”

“It’s only fitting that it should be too much,” Zhou Zishu manages to grind out. He opens his eyes to find Wen Kexing looking anxiously back and forth between them, his eyebrows drawn up in open concern, so different from the furious hunger of just a few minutes ago. “Too much - and not enough. Try again.”

“Mn?”

“Hurt me again.”

“Ah-Xu -”

Zhou Zishu catches Wen Kexing’s chin in his free hand, harsh and unforgiving. “Again, Lao Wen. You think I’ve been waiting for you to wake up all this time just for you to be afraid to touch me? Make me forget what it was like to feel you dead in my arms.”

That seems to do the trick. Wen Kexing’s eyes flash and Zhou Zishu isn’t even startled to find their positions reversed; the only concession for the stone floor that Wen Kexing gives him is a hand behind his head to keep him from hitting it too hard as he’s thrown down on his back - other than that he’s just as harsh as he was before. They’re already ragged and bloodied, it doesn’t take nearly as much effort the second time for Zhou Zishu to lose himself in the ache of Wen Kexing pressing on his new bruises, biting even fresher ones next to them.

He gasps and exhales a moan that echoes off the stone around them as Wen Kexing bites his neck hard enough to draw blood there too at the same moment he slides two spit- and come-slick fingers inside his body with absolutely no mercy. It hurts, but his Lao Wen and so he doesn’t complain. He’ll never complain as long as it’s Wen Kexing who’s the one bearing down on him, pressing into him, working him as expertly as ever even though so much internal attention isn’t necessary now that he can finally get hard again. It doesn’t seem to matter what he needs or doesn't - his entire being belongs to the man on top of him and he knows that Wen Kexing enjoys reminding him of that.

The only reason the second round lasts anywhere close to the same length of time as the first is because this time Wen Kexing forces him to wait every time he trembles close to the edge of orgasm, until by the time he finally allows it Zhou Zishu is so overstimulated it hurts as much as it pleasures.

“Enough,” Wen Kexing pants when he’s finished and they’re now both sporting the same messes on their chests. “Enough Ah-Xu, no more angry sex tonight. Alright?”

“Fine,” Zhou Zishu pants as he stares unseeingly up at the ceiling. “Tomorrow, then.”

“No.” Zhou Zishu closes his eyes as Wen Kexing starts stroking his cheek with his hand that’s still relatively clean, but he frowns when he feels the now-familiar sensation of shared qi flood through his meridians.

“What are you doing?”

“We’ll heal faster if we share it.”

Zhou Zishu darts his hand up to grab Wen Kexing’s wrist to force his hand away from his face and he opens his eyes with an effort to meet Wen Kexing’s confused gaze.

“Leave it.”

“Ah-Xu?”

“Penance.”

Wen Kexing blinks at him for a long moment and then the last of the fight truly drains out of him as he hangs his head, his hair sliding over one shoulder to hang between them and the rest of the room. In the moonlight backlighting it it almost seems to glow and Zhou Zishu’s breath hitches in his chest as he looks at it, this reminder of how much Wen Kexing had tried to give up. For him. He had never asked so many people to want to die for him. All he had ever wanted was the people he cared about to live, why were they all so determined to leave him behind anyway?

“Come back to bed,” Wen Kexing says and Zhou Zishu can hear the tears thick in his voice though he can’t see his face. “Please.”

Maneuvering up off the floor and righting their robes at least enough to make the chilly walk more bearable takes a surprisingly long time, but thankfully Wen Kexing had kept track of where he was going as he had followed Zhou Zishu through the armory and so he just has to follow behind him as they return quickly enough to their ‘bedroom’, for lack of anything better to call it. As they walk, his own anger ebbs back out of him, as it always does, to be replaced with a soul-deep grief. His anger is really only a poor cover for that lurking sorrow anyway, and it consumes too much energy to maintain the front for too long. By the time Wen Kexing is helping him out of his outer robes and nudging him in the direction of their bed he feels so weighed down by the ghosts of his mistakes that all he can do is obey and sit heavily on the edge of it.

“ ‘Penance’,” Wen Kexing muses with dark humor as he returns Zhou Zishu’s robes to their spot and begins to strip out of his own. “Are we not already paying penance having to spend the rest of our lives in the cold? Away from Chengling and Four Seasons Manor? It’s a price I’m willing to pay a thousand times over in order to live this life with you, but it is still a sacrifice. Don’t you think that’s penance enough?”

Zhou Zishu doesn’t even bother looking up from his hands between his knees as Wen Kexing talks to him, only raising his eyes with a sharp inhale through his nose when the other man comes to kneel in front of him, though he can still only stand to look around the vicinity of his chin.

“Ah-Xu. What are you punishing yourself for?”

“You have to ask?”

“I do. We’ve already forgiven each other for the lies we told, you don’t fool me. What are you really angry about?”

“I’m not trying to fool you, I am angry that you lied to me.”

“And you have lied to me. We’re even as far as I’m concerned, and I think it would be useless to keep score from here on out. What are petty disagreements to immortal lovers, hm?”

Zhou Zishu finally lifts his gaze the rest of the way with an effort to look Wen Kexing in the eyes. They still manage to shine somehow even in the dim light of the candles guttering in the corners of the room, and Zhou Zishu can’t quite resist reaching out to hold his face with both hands. Hands that can now feel how soft his skin is, how warm. He strokes his thumb slowly along the plush curve of his bitten bottom lip and the softness of it, the easy give of it beneath his touch, have him aching to bite him again. Again and again and again until he no longer feels quite so hungry for him, so desperate.

“Ah-Xu,” Wen Kexing murmurs seemingly for no reason other than to call for him. Zhou Zishu lets his thumb move with his lips as he does so, the drag of the warm, damp skin against his fingertip a concrete reminder that he hasn’t lost Wen Kexing. He’s here, alive and breathing and determined to live for the rest of their forever at his side.

“I want to stop seeing you dead,” he confesses, much less angrily this time than the first as he allows his grief and fear to take their rightful place at center stage. “I want to but I can’t. You were so cold, Lao Wen, the first thing I felt was you so cold-“

Wen Kexing’s brows knit together as he turns his head just enough to press ardent kisses to his palm, his long fingers curling around Zhou Zishu’s wrist to hold his hand still for it.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes and Zhou Zishu’s breath hitches in his throat. “I’m sorry, Ah-Xu.”

Zhou Zishu coaxes Wen Kexing into turning his head forward again with a press of his palm to his cheek only to meet him more than halfway in a kiss that’s messy and clumsy and perfect in every way he needs it to be. Wen Kexing surges up to deepen it, to loom over him and then press him back insistently with his whole body as he climbs onto the bed first to straddle him and then to lay him down, kissing kissing kissing all the while.

Even in what Zhou Zishu has come to think of as his ‘first’ life - his life before Wen Kexing - he doesn’t think anyone’s touch ever affected him as much as Wen Kexing’s does now. His hands, though they’re cool simply by virtue of where they live, feel like branding irons as they skim down his chest and arms, dragging his dishevelled sleeping robe off in their wake. He shivers in the chill of the cave as the cold air meets his flushed skin and even that, somehow, adds to the overwhelming flood of sensations from Wen Kexing’s hands alone.

“I’ll make you forget it all,” Wen Kexing promises as he drags those burning hands up to grip the sides of his neck, press his thumbs under his jaw to coax him into tipping his head back so he can kiss the bruises he’d left. “I’ll make you forget everything but me right here with you like this. Alright?”

“Alright,” Zhou Zishu breathes, at a loss for anything else to say. Why shouldn’t he agree? It’s impossible for him to forget it all but he’d like to try, and Wen Kexing has made so many impossible things happen already. Maybe this one is in his power as well.

He lets himself get lost in the way each kiss and caress feels brand new, and so quickly it could almost be embarrassing he feels his cock growing stiff again, his entire body reacting to each brush of fingertips or soft hair or lips against his skin like it’s the first time he’s ever felt such a thing. It’s the first time he’s ever properly felt Wen Kexing, at least, and he can’t help but think that that’s good enough; his first time feeling his zhiji’s touch the way it’s meant to be felt. If this is what he’s felt every time Zhou Zishu touches him then it’s no wonder Wen Kexing has so often begged and coaxed him to go just once more, to kiss for just a little longer, not to separate yet if they don’t have to. Not that Zhou Zishu hadn’t understood the desire to be close before, of course he has, but this really elevates things to a new height he had been incapable of even imagining.

Zhou Zishu sees stars the moment Wen Kexing leans in to take him into his mouth. He doesn’t come but it’s an extremely close thing, and there’s no stopping himself from whimpering and shifting restlessly as he tries to chase the pleasure Wen Kexing is offering him. He’s stopped by Wen Kexing’s wide hands heavy on his hips pressing him down into the bed and keeping him still so he can focus on working himself down the length of him painfully slowly. There have been times, usually in the afterglow of particularly good orgasms, when Wen Kexing has told him that if he could use all his best tricks then Zhou Zishu wouldn’t stand a chance against him, and Zhou Zishu has always scoffed, never believed such assertions could be anything but empty bragging. He should really know by now that Wen Kexing doesn’t brag without reason - if he says he can kill someone then he will. If he claims he can exact a fitting revenge against the world that wronged him, then he will. And now Zhou Zishu knows intimately that when Wen Kexing has said that he knows precisely how he wants to rip Zhou Zishu apart, he has meant every word.

He feels like he’s being slowly flayed apart, seen and known at every level of his being solely so that Wen Kexing can understand best how to destroy all of his defenses. Not that he should be surprised, of course - this is hardly the first time Zhou Zishu had thought he was fine only to suddenly find that his walls have been smashed to rubble and Wen Kexing is standing too close to him in the aftermath of it, smirking at him and leaning in to say something filthy in his ear to make him blush and snap at him even as he tries to pull him closer.

Zhou Zishu comes for the third time that night with his hands in Wen Kexing’s hair and his legs wrapped haphazardly around his ribcage, head thrown back and throat tight around a strangled moan that ends on something that sounds suspiciously like a sob.

Wen Kexing gives him absolutely no time to recover. He keeps his mouth on him until it turns genuinely unbearable and then he’s back, kissing him like he’ll die if he doesn’t taste every inch of his mouth at that very moment and slamming home inside of him between one breath and the next. Zhou Zishu doesn’t bother trying to restrain the pained noise that escapes him at the intrusion but Wen Kexing ignores it, instead just setting up a punishing rhythm that leaves Zhou Zishu no time at all to try to come down from his third orgasm before arousal builds in him again.

Wen Kexing is an absolute monster, and Zhou Zishu loves him so much it’s a physical ache in his chest. And there, at last, is the root of his anger. Wen Kexing makes him hurt so much, it’s only natural for him to want to protect himself from it, to put distance between them with frustration and bluster, to keep the unbearable ache of such consuming love from taking him over completely. It’s been necessary, until now, to maintain that distance even after they were in agreement that they were all either of them needs in this world. The fact then had been that Zhou Zishu was going to die and leave Wen Kexing behind to mourn him, a fact they had frequently done their best to ignore but at least Zhou Zishu had never managed it, and he was fairly sure Wen Kexing never had either. He’d spent so much time expressing concern for Zhou Zishu and his injuries, it stands to reason that he’d spent even more time thinking about them than talking about them, and any time the barest whisper of a possible cure had reached their ears Wen Kexing had always pounced on it like a street cat, vicious and single-minded as he’d dug in with his claws to drag out any information he possibly could.

Zhou Zishu’s fourth orgasm of the night leaves him feeling hollow and satisfied, finally, even as Wen Kexing spills inside of him, fills him up. As they share hot, too-heavy breaths in the aftermath, as Wen Kexing presses wet kisses to his lips and cheeks and jaw, as Wen Kexing settles his weight over him and slides a hand up into his hair to cradle him and hold him close, Zhou Zishu releases the anger that’s nothing but a smokescreen for the ache of loving too fiercely for his heart to contain it all.

“I love you,” he says into the intimate silence but for the rhythms of their living and breathing and the soft rustle of skin and cloth rubbing together as Wen Kexing readjusts his legs and attempts to get comfortable on top of him. “That’s what I’m angry about. I love you.”

“Reasonable,” Wen Kexing mumbles muzzily into his shoulder with a lazy kiss. “Will you elaborate or am I meant to just understand why loving me should make you so upset?”

“You expect me to believe that you don’t love me so much it somehow becomes other emotions as well just so your heart can contain it all?”

Wen Kexing is silent for a few long moments as their breathing slows in tandem, fingertips tracing slow, gentle circles around the ball of his shoulder as he turns his head a bit and shifts a few times until he’s settled even more comfortably.

“Ah..Perhaps I do understand, then,” he finally murmurs, and Zhou Zishu can hear a faint smile in his voice. “Is that what you’re seeking penance for? Loving me?”

“Maybe. Or maybe for everything else I’ve done before you. Maybe I have to pay for it to deserve being able to keep you until we get tired of this life and decide we’d like to end it.”

“Ah-Xu,” Wen Kexing tuts and he’s definitely smiling now. “You’ve said it yourself that if a man sets aside his weapons he’ll become good. I don’t believe you need to punish yourself like this. You don’t need to find a replacement for the pain of the Nails just because you’ve survived your torment.”

Zhou Zishu’s breath catches in his chest and he tips his head enough to try to look down at Wen Kexing. One of his eyes is visible at this angle and Zhou Zishu is unsurprised to find his gaze full of a quiet understanding.

“That’s...hm. Alright. I suppose it’s useless to argue that, I’m sure you already know exactly how to win against me.”

“Of course I do,” Wen Kexing replies with a tired chuckle. “But there’s also no point in arguing it simply because I’m right, and as I said before - what use is there in keeping score? Time and debts and the measure of good and evil are nothing to us anymore. We’ll do as much good as we can from here, and when we’re ready we’ll re-enter the world and continue to do good there until we die together. The past doesn’t concern us anymore.”

Zhou Zishu hums softly and finally finds the energy to raise one hand to begin combing his fingers through the snarled mess of Wen Kexing’s hair, keeping his touch light even when he encounters snags and knots. Wen Kexing melts into him as he works and when he starts breathing deeply, the rhythm regular, Zhou Zishu doesn’t bother resisting the desire to turn his head and press a long, slow kiss to his forehead. He lifts his free hand to curl his fingers around Wen Kexing’s wrist and, as has become a habit that’s as natural as breathing, he lets their energy circulate together, fitting himself easily into the familiar paths of his love’s qi and speeding up the healing process as much as he can, for both of their sakes, as the love of his life sleeps comfortably in his arms.

#word of honor #word of honor fanfic #wenzhou #wen kexing #zhou zishu #cw: blood

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