#it would have meant so much to experience that

[genderqueerdykes]

i really want to see genderqueer be an identity we talk about in great detail this pride month. genderqueer saw more usage in the 90s and 2000s, with the rise of the term non binary we've seen more people gravitate toward that label as it becomes the more socially accepted term to use given its notoriety. i would like to bring back alternative labels for this experience, since our diversity is what makes us so unique and strong as a community

genderqueer is an identity that has a long history, and a myriad of definitions and folks who express it in different ways. it really can mean whatever the hell you want. it can mean that you're cisgender but express your gender in a queer way. it can mean that you're trans, take hormones, have gotten top and bottom surgery and dress however you want. it can mean that you dress "normal" and pass as cishet but have a queer gender on the inside. it can mean that you combine masculine and feminine aesthetics. it can mean that you strive for gender neutrality. it can mean that you want to be so ambiguously gendered strangers can't tell who you are.

there's no guidelines or rules, genderqueer is an identity meant to embrace the freedom one can have with gender expression. it can mean as much or as little as the person using it wants it to. it's a beautiful term that is just as flexible as non binary, and i do not postulate to replace that term, but rather bring light to another identity that may suit folks slightly better. it's a beautiful identity. it's what I came out as first in 2011 and I'm happy to be back at all these years later.

2024 is a great year to be proud of being genderqueer and to proudly tell people about this part of yourself. let's celebrate ourselves louder and prouder than ever before. there are many ways to exist outside of the binary, and folks deserve to know about older terms that have been used by the community as well as newer ones

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtqa #queer #trans #transgender #pride 2024 #pride month 2024 #pride #genderqueer #non binary #nonbinary #transmasc #transmasculine #transfemme #transfeminine #ftm #mtf #trans woman #transfem #trans man #trans men #trans women #trans community #transgender community #enby #our writing #about us #genderqueer lesbian

[toriangeli]

I will spend my life making it up to you

OKAY. The thoughts I've had since that new teaser last night.

More than one person has called what happens between Louis and Armand in 2.04 a "dynamic shift." This wouldn't be that important if all they meant was that the two of them formed a cathartic new BDSM roleplay (which Jacob has alluded to, for sure, and on rewatch, you very much see it in the "You summoned me?"/"I felt your panic" exchange). If that was all it was, Assad wouldn't be calling it "the tipping point" of the season.

So what does it mean?

I think it means we've been reading this entire relationship wrong this whole time.

Book/movie spoilers ahead.

What we've seen: Armand does everything. He seems to be the gatekeeper to everything. He's the only one who can reach the bookshelves on the ceiling. He controls the lights and the windows. Louis asks him for the missing pages of Claudia's diaries. He lingers nearby during the interview, always ready to jump in if they venture near a subject that could be upsetting for Louis. With every new piece of information, confirmation bias has worked toward this idea that Armand is pulling all the strings.

Then Hannah Moscovitch said something in the Autumn Brown interview: that Armand wouldn't do something without Louis' permission because he is entirely Louis' creature. This seemed contradictory.

Jacob said Louis had become "the Lestat" of the Loumand relationship.

We had yesterday's episode's "dynamic shift."

Then last night, we got a new teaser where Armand and Louis have the following exchange:

Armand: I will spend my life making it up to you.

Louis: You'll never make it up to me.

Armand: I know.

My immediate thought was, naturally, that they are talking about Claudia's death. Look, if Armand can put the coven to sleep in an instant, he could have done it again long enough for Claudia to escape. He could have prevented it. He knows it, both in the book and in the show. And in the books, he is miserable about it. Louis notes how much so when they talk about it.

Later, we find out the real reason for Armand's extreme guilt. While he says he didn't plot to kill her, he admits to something even worse: he cut off Claudia's head and sewed it to an adult vampiress' body to give her a woman's body for once before her execution. He didn't do it out of charity, mind you--he just wanted to see what would happen. He says he's been haunted by it ever since, even having nightmares. Yes, Armand did something so horrible he traumatized himself.

Now, whether they include this experiment on the show (it would have to get past the network), I think simply failing to save Claudia is a good enough reason for this exchange in the teaser to take place.

And now, I'm looking at all those signs of Armand's controlling nature with new eyes.

See, Armand in the books can be controlling, but there's no evidence he ever is so with Louis. In fact, he's almost the opposite with Louis as he is with Daniel. Part of it is guilt, and part of it is desperation for love. After the vaguest of hints from the writers, people assumed their relationship on the show would be more regimental.

But I thought of the moment where Louis has Armand open his umbrella for him and light his cigarette, even going so far as to throw away his own lighter. And all those signs of control are starting to look like acts of servitude.

Bookshelves on the ceiling: any time Louis wants a book, Armand has to go fetch it for him. He can't get exasperated and tell him to get it for himself.

Turning lights and UV filters on and off: menial tasks demeaning to a partner rather than household staff.

Arranging for the missing pages of Claudia's diaries: Notice he doesn't say no, and in fact looks very nervous when asked. His only objection is that there is stuff about him on those pages he doesn't want made public, and he still agrees to it. It's like he is Louis' personal secretary.

Then there's the scene from last episode where the photos are mixed up. As soon as Armand clocks that Louis is accusing him of mixing things up on purpose, he starts stimming. He knows an argument he wants to avoid is coming, so he immediately tries to throw Rashid under the bus. Later, Louis is yelling at him for "embarrassing" him in front of Daniel, which is one of those textbook accusations toxic people use.

I think Louis is making Armand make it up to him.

There's something else Louis says: he accuses Armand of thinking he needs to be coddled. As if Armand pathologically placating him has been a thing in the past.

I want to be clear: this is not a "poor Armand" post. I think when the audience knows the full story, they will feel Armand got off easy. Because he did. I'd be tempted to do the same in Louis' shoes (but ultimately wouldn't want to see his face, so I don't think I'd go through with it). One of the reasons Armand is staying is because he knows he's getting off easy. If you tell me you would blame Louis for treating Armand this way, I wouldn't believe you. Armand deserves love, but he doesn't deserve to get it from Louis (I still ship it tho, I ship everything).

Now, there's no indication that Armand is afraid of Louis hurting him. The fact of him being stressed out about an incoming argument, and changing his behavior to avoid it, isn't the best sign--toxic partners will often use this tactic to gain capitulation--but by no means is this anywhere near his worst relationship.

It would all make his actions make much more sense: he's this jumpy about Daniel's intervention because his relationship with Louis is permanently on thin ice. He doesn't desire control over Louis for its own sake--that's not really an Armand thing, as much as people attribute it to him--he just wants to keep this man from ruining years of his hard work and effort put into this partnership. It's a sunk cost fallacy.

#armand #iwtv #amc iwtv #interview with the vampire #iwtv amc #iwtv spoilers #louis de pointe du lac #tvc book spoilers

[garden-variety-jumo]

I want to talk about the latest Doctor Who episode looking at monoculture and worldbuilding and how it adds fantastically to the whole episode.

I knew about the twist in the episode before I went into it, so I have less to say about how the racism shocked me and more about the society they function in.

As I mentioned in a previous post, none of them experience the world around them- pretty much at all.

I watched Lindy walk to work and I thought to myself "is that their gardens? They never stop to look at them?" Maicured grass with decorative shrubs- not only is the grass itself a symbol or capitalism and class systems, but it's perfectly kept and that's pretty much all the biodiversity you see.

It's a monoculture, it's not hospitable to insects, and it reveals more about the planet to you. It's not hospitable to insects because they aren't meant to live there. There probably even aren't any, thanks to the forcefields around the city. They may be seen as pests, but they're absolutely vital to an ecosystem. It makes me imagine that even the dirt housing the grass is likely free of microfauna- meaning some other technological intervention is taking place to make the grass stay green- it might not even be real. Which implies nothing can grow.

Also note you also don't see any pets.

Additionally, the doctor that pops up on Lindy's screen notes she doesn't need to urinate. Sure it's just a silly joke about how when she gets scared she suddenly does need to. But it tells you:

1) That is seen as a good thing, having to pee is seen as an inconvenience or maybe a social faux pas

2) If she doesn't need to pee, she doesn't need to drink. If she doesn't need to drink, she doesn't need to eat either

And if she doesn't need to eat, she probably doesn't, and she almost definitely never cooks either. I'll say it a million times- as will Dungeon Meshi as it's surged in popularity: you need to eat to be alive and, in fact, being alive is all about being able to eat- finding balance and enjoyment and sharing experiences and staying alive. It's a celebration of who you are and where you came from and how good it is to still be alive. And in their society- it's just gone.

Everyone dresses so similarly and even acts similarly. Everyone dresses in clean cut clothing and pastels- even those who have more eccentric styling or hair, they fit into this world and it's not commented on. The most diversity they have is Goth Paul and even he doesn't dress fully in black- he has an almost pastel purple in his hair. So even with those "different" they're actually quite similar

(Thinking about it. Did anyone in that episode have curly hair besides the Doctor...?)

And it all leads back to monoculture. Even think about how everyone in the city is the same sort of demographic: 17-27, rich, white. Likely also able bodied and neurotypical. Nothing can live or thrive in a monoculture, no one can or will change, and so they stagnate- as does the world around them.

People become more accepting and open and kind when they try new experiences and meet new people, by expanding their worlds, they become more tolerant- but this is a world in which that can never happen. Even Ricky September, who turns off his bubble, stays inside to read. He never goes out, never tries anything- so not even he would have the capacity to change, truly.

Knowledge is such a powerful tool as well as being open to outside influences and change. By living with people who are the same, they can never take on the wisdom of their elders, and by living in a monoculture, their fashion will never change, they will never try new food, they will never appreciate new growth on plants or learn to take care of pets.

They can never change or grow. And the racism building their society has ensured that. They will never learn empathy, because they will never interact with different races and are taught to be disgusted by them. They will never be able to experience the joys of those cultures either, not that they deserve them, they won't pick up new fashion or recipes or dance or music. And from their point of view, they never want to.

Experiencing the world will teach you much more than books ever could. Ricky September showed bravery and empathy from his limited freedom, much more than Lindy was capable of. But he would still be racist if it came down to it, because why would he be otherwise?

This is their perfect society: nothing can live there and nothing ever will. And thanks to it, not one of them will survive.

#long post #worldbuilding #doctor who spoilers #15th doctor #dw spoilers #doctor who #dot and bubble #lindy pepper bean #ricky september #ncuti gatwa

[girlkisser13]

riding virgin jason

pairings: virgin jason grace x experienced fem!reader

warnings/tags: smut (18+), unprotected sex (practice safe sex guys), creampie, riding, dirty talk, virgin!jason, sub!jason, dom!reader

his hands couldn't sit still at all. should he keep them on your tits?

squeeze them in his hands and let them bounce as you ride him? or should he grip your hips and guide you on his cock, let them slide down to your ass and dig into your flesh?

he just couldn't decide, you were too much for him to handle at once.

perky tits bounced in his face, ass clapping against his thighs, and a tight cunt clenched around his cock. jason had been so focused on his training, and being praetor, that he'd ignored the plethora of pleasures in his adult life. but you took that all away for him, all he was focused on was you.

"fuck, fuck, fuck" his pathetic attempts at speaking while his dick was buried in your pussy were endearing, to say the least. you still couldn't believe you had a pretty thing like him twitching and whimpering under you while you took his virginity, showing him what it really means to become an adult.

"you’re going to make me come," he whined, almost sobbing through his words while your body moved atop of him so gracefully, so experienced he almost hated it. he wanted to give you the sex he thought you deserved, a good pounding into the mattress with his head in your neck leaving kisses all over your skin. jason had dreamed of giving you the night of your life, but he hadn't even had his yet.

all that was history, now. if he'd have known sex felt this good he would've done it over and over, to the point where his heart would stop. now that he had you he could truly experience that.

"i’ve always wanted to see you like this, jason... all whiny and needy for me."

"have me like this whenever you want y/n."

and he meant it. he’d let you sit on his dick and ride him the way you wanted for hours on end, days, even.

his tip ached inside of you, his cock throbbed with need the quicker you went, the deeper he went. it wasn't long before his balls were tightening and the licks and sucks on his neck became too much.

"shit... fuck, i'm gonna come.." choking out his words before crumbling beneath you, coming inside you with a cry of your name just as you gushed around him. god, was it a sight. his back arched, those firm muscles tensed, and his eager cock twitching and dripping as you slowly slid off of him.

#percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #pjo #hoo #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom #hoo fandom #pjo series #hoo series #pjo x reader #hoo x reader #pjo tv show #pjo disney+ #jason grace #jason grace x reader #jason grace smut

[tenderleavesbob]

It was just a stupid fight. Warriors had them with Legend all the time. Legend all but started his days bantering with Warriors. They teased each other over breakfast and threw snarky remarks at each other at bedtime. It should have been fine.

Except the last few weeks had been long, and everyone was on edge. Their bantering had more barbs than usual until it was no longer bantering at all. Legend was exhausted and when he was that worn, he grew vicious. His words drew blood.

Warriors's armor was only good against physical blades. All of his efforts to thicken his skin meant nothing against Legend's clever tongue.

It was a stupid fight, and Warriors's response was worse. He heard Sky shouting at him to come back, but he ignored the hero. He grabbed his bag and stomped away into the forest. Perhaps if Time or Twilight or Wind had been there, they could have stopped him, but they were with Wild scouting out an ancient fort. He heard the others trying to calm down Legend and Legend snarling back. He tuned out all of it.

It was a stupid fight and it wouldn't have been so terrible if there wasn't so much truth in Legend's words. Usually Legend's tone was teasing when he brought up Warriors's unusual background and how he didn't have adventures or experiences like the rest of them. There had been nothing teasing today when Legend retorted that Warriors didn't have their experience, didn't have their knowledge, wasn't a hero like the rest of them, so why should they listen to him?

Why should they? What information could Warriors possibly provide to eight blooded, experienced heroes? How could he truly help them?

Warriors stomped away, fuming, and hating himself for how much it hurt. Legend's words struck true. He might have only been lashing out, but he was right. This wasn't Warriors's battlefield. He knew this. He had known it from the start.

He was a soldier. He wasn't a hero like the rest of them. As so many of them had pointed out over the campfire, Knights were better at being used by the enemy than protecting their kingdom.

By the Three, it hurt.

Warriors knew it was stupid to walk away. It had been a stupid fight and it was stupid to leave the camp, but Legend's words still rang in his mind and drowned out everything else.

What did he know? Why should a hero listen to a soldier?

What did he have to offer them?

Sky's calls and the other voices quieted. Warriors continued walking and the forest grew darker and denser around him. He knew he should stop. He knew he should calm himself down and return to the camp. He knew that it was just a stupid fight.

He knew Legend was right.

When everything grew silent and still around him, Warriors finally stopped. He had no idea where he was. He had no idea where the camp was. He dropped his bag and buried his face in his hands.

He was too much of a hero to be with his soldiers at home anymore, and he was too much of a soldier to fit in with the heroes. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to do?

A hero would know what to do. As Legend loved pointing out, heroes were great at puzzles. Things tended to be more black and white for soldiers.

A twig snapped to his right. Warriors straightened and grabbed his sword. He half expected to see Sky there.

It wasn't Sky. It wasn't a member of the chain.

A familiar dark lizalfos stood in front of him.

There was movement in the shadows. Monsters gathering. Warriors tensed. He was surrounded. When had this happened? How had he allowed himself to be so distracted?

Good job, hero.

Warriors grit his teeth and glared at the lizalfos in front of him. The monster wasn't moving. It was just watching him. There was something disturbingly familiar about its aura. It reminded him of...

"Hero," the monster hissed. "Or would Captain be more fitting?"

Warriors's hand tightened around the hilt of his sword. The monster had been spying on them. "What should I call you?"

The monster smiled. It was a terrible look. "You can call me friend. I'm here to help you, after all."

"Oh?"

The lizalfos began to circle him. Warriors moved so his back was never to the monster. The other creatures didn't move closer. Waiting for their leader's command, he supposed. This was certainly no ordinary monster.

"They've turned you out," the lizalfos said. The idleness of its tone set off more alarms in Warriors's mind. This monster was a shape shifter, actual shape unknown. A creature of significant, deadly power, as shown by Twilight's injury. He was clever, as this conversation proved. "They drove you away. Your own betrayed you."

Warriors didn't answer. He just watched the monster, his own clever mind in motion.

The lizalfos kept smiling at him. It made his skin crawl. "All because you aren't the right kind of hero. You fought and bled for Hyrule, and it's not enough. You're not enough for them."

That stung. Warriors kept his own face impassive.

"You'll never be enough. You know it. They know it. Knights and heroes don't get along. Heroes don't fight alongside Knights. They fight them."

Words sharp as blades and just as good at drawing blood. Warriors didn't answer.

"Of course they would fight you eventually." The lizalfos stopped in its original spot, its dark eyes glittering. "Heroes have no need for a soldier."

"But you do," Warriors guessed.

The lizalfos grinned at him, baring its sharp teeth. "I do. We can help each other."

If Warriors was a true hero, he might have viewed this as a puzzle to be solved. He might have viewed this as an opportunity to get answers. He could have wielded his own clever tongue and tried to draw out information.

As everyone liked to point out, Warriors wasn't a real hero. He was just a Knight. A soldier.

"You're not worried about me doing anything stupid and heroic then?" Warriors inquired. He kept his voice calm and polite, just like he was talking to someone at Court.

He guessed it was the right tone by the glint in the monster's eyes. "Why should I? Haven't they made it clear that you aren't a hero?"

"They have," Warriors agreed. He thought of Time, his boy, in pain as he sat beside his descendant's sickbed. He thought of Twilight, dying and pale and quiet. He thought of the tears in Wind's eyes. "I'm not a hero."

Warriors whipped out his blade. His fury lit his blood and magic blazed, lighting up his sword. Warriors bared his own grin at the lizalfos. "Which means I don't need to worry about being a proper hero when I kick your ass."

He wasn't a hero. He was a war captain.

Maybe Warriors couldn't solve one of Legend's puzzles, but he was damned good at getting his hands dirty.

With a battle cry, Warriors charged.

#lu warriors #tl scribbles #lu legend

[nicoise]

a kiss to prove you dont have feelings for them !!!!!!!

In an unexpected turn of events, Blaine was manning the kissing booth. 

It was possible he’d lost a bet. But he sat behind the counter looking completely at ease among the chapstick tubes and the breathmints and the stupid little privacy curtain. A tacky pink sign decorated with glitter hearts read, PUCKER UP TO SUPPORT MUSIC NITE. It was a dollar for a cheek kiss, five for a “friendly peck,” and ten for “ten seconds in heaven.”

Blaine was an equal opportunity kisser and the booth was quickly becoming a main attraction of the club fair. Kurt found it inexplicably embarrassing, like finding out an indie artist you kept to yourself had gone mainstream. 

“It’s really weird that you’re not lining up with the rest of them,” said Santana. “I thought you’d be salivating at the chance to plant one on his doe-eyed oblivious face.”

Kurt bristled. “You make me sound like such a pervert.”

“Well, aren’t you? I bet you couldn’t follow the rules if you were paid to.” At Kurt’s pointed look she said, “What, you think admin would let this happen unchecked? There’s no touching, no tongue, and no going past ten seconds. They have a timer and everything. Literal buzzkill.”

“That’s not what I meant. I can be normal about kissing Blaine,” Kurt said, offended. “I am so normal about kissing Blaine. I just - don’t want to.”

Santana looked unconvinced. “Because you’re incapable of being normal about it.”

“No. Because - because…” Kurt had the feeling that everything he said was playing into Santana’s hands. Santana was about to say something smug but he cut her off. “Shut it. Give me ten dollars and if you’re right I’ll pay you back twenty.”

“Thirty.”

“Twenty five.”

Santana pouted. “Fine.” She fished out a ten dollar bill from an implausible pocket in her skintight dress and did the annoying thing where she held it out to Kurt but hung onto it until Kurt snatched it from her. “Stay safe,” she yelled obnoxiously after him.

So Kurt found himself lining up behind a guy from his music theory class and a group of girls he recognized from Blaine’s social circle. He told himself he could always step out of line and make off with the money but he knew he wouldn’t.

Actually, Kurt let himself be so easily convinced because he felt that one kiss, surrounded by people he knew in passing and constricted by the bureaucracy of a fundraiser, would cure him of romantic delusions. Kurt had too much experience with unrequited love to make the same mistake again, and for all Blaine smiled at him and opened doors for him he was like that with everyone. So it wasn’t a crush. Just an illusion Kurt meant to break.

Kurt was almost at the front of the line when Blaine saw him and gave him a quick blinding smile. Then Blaine turned to take the ten dollar bill from the music theory guy. Was it the same smile he’d given Kurt? There was no time to wonder. Kurt watched as Blaine said something that made the guy give a flustered little nod and then Blaine kissed him. It looked slightly awkward, over the counter, otherwise not touching. Then it was over. Nod, smile, parting wave, not even a trace of a blush on Blaine’s face.

Kurt had signed up to be given the same charity kiss, the same nod, smile, wave. He stepped up to the counter.

“Kurt, hey! Are you here to support the music festival or did you come to see me?” Blaine grinned shamelessly.

It was a joke. He was joking. Kurt retorted, “Are you here to support the music festival or did you lose a bet?”

“Well, Sam was originally supposed to do it, but he has mono, so…” Blaine shrugged, slipping back on script. He gestured at the pink sign. “You have the choice of - “

Kurt slid the ten dollar bill across the counter. There was nothing he felt he could say.

Blaine glanced at it, then at him. There was something oddly heavy in his gaze before it smoothed into what Kurt could only call customer service. He went over the rules while Kurt thought of Sam, and Finn, and the music theory guy, and how there were no stakes in this, no destination.

“Do you want a breathmint?”

Kurt shook his head.

“Okay. Are you ready?”

Kurt was lost for words. What was this, a flu shot? 

Blaine caught Kurt’s look of disdain and genuine humor slipped through the protocol. There he was, amused, beautiful. He leaned in, inches away from Kurt’s face. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he whispered.

Kurt stood paralyzed, trying desperately not to let on that his heart was in his throat, waiting, unwilling to want. Then they were kissing. 

It was the most anxiety Kurt had ever felt kissing someone. Usually it was easy. It was something to do well, to make good. This wasn’t like that at all.

Blaine’s lips were soft from chapstick. He kissed closemouthed, but so tenderly it felt inappropriate, and he trembled in a way that couldn’t be construed as casual. Kurt couldn’t help himself and broke the hands-off rule to put his hands on Blaine’s shoulders, and Blaine relaxed into the kiss so sweetly with just that one touch it made Kurt’s head spin.

There was no way it was like this for anyone else. The crush, or whatever, that Kurt didn’t want to feel, or only felt occasionally, became undeniable like this, breath caught painfully between them, a sweetness so sharp it stung. 

The timer went off. Ten seconds. Kurt let go of Blaine and stepped back, feeling like all the blood in his hands had rushed to his face. He was aware of every point of contact on his skin, the way his clothes rested on him, and wanted so badly to touch Blaine on the other side of the counter that it felt like he’d develop telekinesis willing it to happen.

Through the white noise of the catcalls, Kurt managed to say, “That wasn’t a charity kiss.”

“No,” Blaine admitted. “It wasn’t.” He was dazed and flushed down his neck. Probably everyone was staring. “You should take your money back. I don’t want it.”

“It’s Santana’s money.” Kurt knew he was being awful but clung to it as a way out. “She convinced me - ” He couldn’t say it.

“Don’t try to tell me that meant nothing,” Blaine said, but he said it uncertainly, like he was asking. 

It was terrifying, what that did to Kurt. He opened his mouth to say those exact words, “it meant nothing,” but his gaze caught on how Blaine was running his tongue over his lips like he wanted another taste. A gut-punch of longing stole his breath. Kurt leaned in, heart pounding, feeling half crazed, and said in Blaine’s ear, “If I told you to abandon your post right now, would you do it?”

Blaine was nodding before Kurt was even done talking. He flipped the sign to CLOSED, pulled Kurt around to his side of the counter, and slid the privacy curtain shut in front. 

Kurt saw what he meant to do. “You’re crazy,” he said, laughing, helpless, but let Blaine take him by the hand as they made a run for it through the back of the booth.

Then they were outside. It was a blazing sun-soaked afternoon and Blaine let Kurt push him against the wall in the middle of the hall and kiss him and kiss him until they ran out of breath, and if there was a destination Kurt felt with stunning certainty they had arrived.

-

still taking prompts if anyone wants to send me any !!

#klaine #klaine fanfiction #thank u for the prompt this was so fun to write !!!!

[getvalentined]

I really love all your Vincent analysis, I get very excited whenever you post them. I was wondering something, Grimoire has always seemed a very distant figure in canon, (yet he affects so much) and it is very likely that his and Vincent's relationship wasn't the best. But I am curious as to what you think his reaction to the experiments Hojo and Lucretia put him through would be if he was informed? Especially given that Grimoire knew Lu well. (I know this is completely non-canon)

Believe it or not, way back in 2011 I posted a hastily-drawn Ask Vincent Valentine entry that addresses exactly this! It's been a really long time, and my opinion there hasn't really changed, but I'm more than happy to expand on the concept in more detail now.

We don't actually have a lot of information on Grimoire as a character, and even less on his relationship with Vincent, so most of my opinion here is definitely headcanon, and I'll be tagging this post accordingly. That said, we do know a few things, and establishing the details of their relationship as I understand it is pretty integral to my opinion of how Grimoire would handle Vincent's inclusion in Lucrecia's terrifying thesis project.

First, Grimoire and Vincent seem to have had some kind of falling out in the past. Although it's impossible to say what caused it or how recent this was, it's fairly clear based on Grimoire's last words being a request for Lucrecia to apologize to Vincent on his behalf, and Vincent being unaware of the circumstances of his father's death until finding his file open on Lucrecia's computer. (I've seen it argued that Vincent may not even have been aware that his father was dead until that point—I don't generally subscribe to that idea, but this may actually be the case.)

Secondly, although this is more up for interpretation, Vincent's feeling toward his father appear to be somewhat...harsh? I reach this conclusion based on the word he uses to refer to him in the original Japanese, which is 親父 (oyaji). While this is a term for "father," it's also colloquially used as equivalent to "old man," and is kind of a catch-all term for middle-aged men in general. It's pretty rough in comparison to other terms that could have been used here, and also seems fairly out of place for how Vincent speaks otherwise, making it seem to me that he uses this harsher term in order to indicate either a lack of formality or a lack of respect for his father.

In headcanon territory, my take on their relationship has always been that Grimoire is extremely disappointed in Vincent for failing to pursue a career in academia, opting instead for the Turks—a role in which he excelled to such a degree that the Turk Vincent sim battle in Dirge PlayOnline indicates the assessment and training records he set were still standing when the Crisis took place. We know that Vincent is intelligent and highly educated (there is a complex series of interconnected equations scrawled on the wall of the Shinra Manor basement in Rebirth that was canonically written by Vincent, he's obviously very smart), so he could certainly have pursued the same career path as his father, and for whatever reason he chose not to.

One thing that isn't up in the air is whether or not Grimoire loved his son. Vincent was the last thing on his mind, as Chaos ate away at his body and ripped him apart into pyreflies, the last thing that mattered was that Vincent know he was sorry. Grimoire loved Vincent, even if they didn't always get along.

But Grimoire was, unfortunately, a Shinra scientist. According to Dirge PlayOnline, Grimoire was the first Shinra scientist to theorize about using foreign energies and excavated materials in the creation of an otherwise human child, with the goal of creating a hybrid able to communicate with humankind with ease. Grimoire loved his son, but he was comfortable with the idea of turning someone else's into a monster in utero if it meant that science could progress. This hypothesis is probably one of the leading reasons that Lucrecia volunteered for her role in Project S; she loved her mentor very much, and what better way to honor his memory than to prove at least one part of his theory right?

At the end of the day, it's the expansion of human knowledge that mattered to Grimoire. He would have been thrilled to know that he was right—proven with Sephiroth, with Vincent, and eventually with Nero. The three of them exist, even if only in part, because of Grimoire's thirst to understand the world beyond humanity, and all three of them changed the face of scientific progress. Sephiroth and Vincent's projects both helped to facilitate the creation of SOLDIER, while Nero literally proved the existence of a secondary plane of reality which had only ever been considered theoretical—if not simply written off as a myth—prior to his birth. That's amazing. That's wonderful.

The only problem Grimoire would have with any of it is that it was his child in the tank. Also unfortunate is that the other two were technically his grandchildren—Nero is pretty much undeniably made from genetic material harvested from Vincent, and my headcanon for why Vincent was assigned to Nibelheim at all is that Gast also wanted some way to honor the memory of the late Professor Grimoire Valentine, and selected Vincent to be the "sire" to the main subject of Project S. Vincent was never meant to know, and Lucrecia was never meant to care. It did not work out that way.

Grimoire would initially be horrified to realize what Lucrecia had done—and then fall right into complete understanding, because she did it to her own child too. She experimented on Vincent, yes, but it was in an attempt to save him! Who could blame her for using what she learned in her thesis? Two birds with one stone, salvation and enlightenment both from a single questionable act. He might disagree with her methods, with her disorganization and her lack of foresight, but he couldn't blame her.

He'd be devastated to know how his theories had ruined his child in every possible respect—but only because it was his child, not because of what was actually done. He'd grieve the loss of those grandchildren that neither he nor Vincent ever had a chance to know—but only because they were Vincent's children, torn away before he ever got to know they existed at all.

And, deep down, Grimoire would feel the slightest swell of pride that the only subjects that worked, the only ones that survived and excelled, the few that could literally call themselves gods even if only for a short period of time, were part of his bloodline.

It turns out that Valentines are amazing at anything they do, whether they choose to do anything or not. Vincent rejected science, and science took him anyway, because science is what Valentines do. It's what all of them do, and they do it better than anyone. How could he not be proud of that?

#headcanon warning #fandom ramble #grimoire valentine #vincent valentine #lucrecia crescent #sephiroth #nero the sable #dirge of cerberus

[venusmage]

Commission/Life update for 2024

Just want everyone to know I AM okay now and life has gotten better recently. However the past year and a half have been extremely difficult and I'm only now getting back on my feet. I generally don't like sharing life details publicly, but as a freelancer with clients that have been waiting for a while I feel like transparency is key.

If you don't want an explanation for the delays and just want to know my completion timeline, that's totally okay. Here is all the info up front. I'm going to continue updating my commission queue as usual and will not be accepting any more orders until ALL of the queue is completed. I'm working on finishing the half and full bodies first since they've been the longest waiting in queue. Then the rest. I don't have a set date in mind for when they'll be all done for good but the goal is by the end of the year. I think that's more than doable for me now. If you're a client of mine and have questions/concerns, please message me either here or on Discord and I'll do my best to help you. My username on discord is the same as my Tumblr username. Twitter and Ko-Fi are also options but I don't check them as frequently. I usually work Monday-Thursday so that will be the best time to shoot me a message or expect an update to the queue.

Information on what's been going on is below.

CW for mentions of death, financial hardship and homophobia.

As a few of you might remember, in 2019 I was disowned by my mother for being a lesbian. I made the choice to go no-contact. Since then, up until LAST YEAR, she's routinely harassed me or had other family harass me, stalked me on social media, tried to get to me through the website I take commission orders, and threatened me multiple times. I was forced to move across the country both because I felt unsafe and because my partner had family elsewhere that were more accepting. I've had to change my phone number twice.

It's been extremely difficult both financially and mentally to keep my head above water. In 2021 my grandfather died and I still haven't felt like I've been able to properly grieve. I wasn't able to see him due to her and I wasn't invited to his funeral. We were very close and he meant the world to me. In 2023 my grandmother passed away very suddenly as well, and my mother used it as an excuse to harass me over ko-fi/my professional email. It was such a horrific experience that I fell into a months long spiral that I only just now feel like I'm climbing out of. This is when commissions first stalled. I was also starting to get overwhelmed, as I had to take on more work than I could realistically handle in order to pay bills and rent. That's really it - I just had to take more orders so we weren't kicked out of our apartment, and as my mental state deteriorated I couldn't keep up.

The good news is that my wife and moved earlier this year we're living with supportive(!) family now and our financial burden is much lighter. This gives me time to work on my backlog without re-opening. I'm also going to school again, back in college starting this summer for a second degree. For my own health after commissions are finished I'm likely going to take a break on opening them for a good while, even though I really enjoy doing them.

In the past two months amazing and not-amazing things have happened. The amazing thing is I got an ADHD diagnosis, something I didn't even know had been ruining my life for years. I'm still getting used to the proper medications but I'm already seeing a big improvement. It's as much of a relief as it is frustrating. My mother also reared her head again (like she usually does at least once a year) - this time, though, I learned she'd had a stroke. While I'm not involved with her anymore, I think most people could understand how it would still be a very weird and upsetting situation. As of right now I'm free of her once again, she seems to be making a good recovery and will hopefully continue to live a happy life far away from me. Still, those two things back to back have been a LOT to deal with on top of just trying to get better in general. I stepped away from the internet for a while for my own sanity.

The downside to being a freelancer is that there's not always a safety net. That's what happened to me. Thank you all very much for being kind and patient, I genuinely have had nothing but polite interactions with all of you and I really appreciate it. I'm sorry my personal bullshit got in the way of getting my work done for you. This is the longest I've ever taken to complete commissions and it's something that I'm deeply ashamed of. I promise they will get done. Being medicated and starting to recover from the family drama has revitalized me a bit. If you have any questions or concerns please reach out.

#no art here #life update #this is gonna be pinned and linked on my queue

[theresattrpgforthat]

Any ttrpgs with a distinctive “grunge” aesthetic?

THEME: Grunge

Hello friend, I’m really glad you asked this question! Grunge feels like it fits indie ttrpg design so well, because so much of it emphasizes low-budget, DIY and messy styles. As a style of music, I understand grunge is about being dissonant, dark, and “ugly”. As a theme, what I understand about grunge is that it’s about alienation, isolation, and disenchantment with how society is right now, which is so so relevant to how we feel about our current quality of life right now.

That being said, there’s so much that can be explored in grunge, I feel like there’s a lot of different pieces that could make a work “grunge’. So while I think the games that I’m presenting here all fit some element of grunge, some of them might not fit the elements of grunge that you’re looking for.

Games by Adam Vass.

Adam’s games are often nihilistic, horrific, and creatively designed with mixed media, visual distortion, and a focus on the grotesque or the weird. This includes No Future, a time loop game about punks throwing one last party, Born To Die, a pamphlet ttrpg about anthropomorphic animals in a post-human waste world, and Cybermetal 2012, a lo-fi metal cyberpunk game about surviving in an isolated city of warped technology.

If you love horror as well as a bit of a dystopian edge, you’ll probably want to check out Adam Vass’s work.

Here, There, Be Monsters, by wendi yu.

No matter what they tell you, there’s still weirdness and wonder everywhere. You just have to know where to look. At the edges and cracks of ‘normal’ life we exist, we persist, and we resist: the monsters, the magicians, the anomalies, the freaks, and the outcasts. We gather in the shadows, trying our best to live our lives in a world that, when it doesn’t exactly fear or hate us, doesn't even believe in our existence.

But we’re still here. We’re not going anywhere. And we fight back.

While the layout and art direction of Here, There, Be Monsters is purposeful and cohesive, the goal of this game feels very grunge in the sense that it is meant to acknowledge the messiness and unapologetic anger present in the monster characters. There's a lot of bodies in this art, and these bodies are meant to challenge you - if you find them difficult to look at, that's a you problem, and that feels in tune with the spirit of grunge.

I feel like this game is probably more on the border of punk and grunge, but if what you’re looking for is a game that feels chaotic and embraces the dark and “disgusting” material that grunge is known to celebrate, than this might be worth checking out.

Dead Mall: The Last Great Beast, by Hunter J Allen.

They built us altars only to abandon them. Now they sit as dying, empty relics. No matter what they tell you never forget: These are our relics, not theirs. Don't let them pass gently into that sweet goodnight. They were made for profit but they remain as our playgrounds. If we choose to let them.

This here is a mini-zine and Bingo card about the American shopping mall and its relationship to us, our collective nostalgia, and the significance of cultural ruins.

This is more of a solo bingo game than a roleplaying game, but I think it might be an interesting way to build a modern “dungeon” for something like Liminal Horror. The zine also re-contextualizes a piece of American architecture that was so ingrained into the middle-class experience of the 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s. I’m intrigued by how you could use this idea of decay and neglect in other urban fantasy and horror games.

MÖRK BORG, by Ockult Örtmästare Games.

MÖRK BORG is a pitch-black apocalyptic fantasy RPG about lost souls and fools seeking redemption, forgiveness or the last remaining riches in a bleak and dying world. Who are you? The tomb-robber with silver glittering between cracked fingernails? The mystic who would bend the world’s heart away from it’s inevitable end? Confront power-draining necromancers, skulking skeletal warriors and backstabbing wickheads. Wander the Valley of the Unfortunate Undead, the catacombs beneath the Bergen Chrypt or the bedevilled Sarkash forest. But leave hope behind - the world’s cruel fate is sealed, and all your vain heroic efforts are destined to end in death and dismay. Or are they?

This is a black comedy style of game that I think has a lot of overlap with the grunge aesthetic. It’s received a number of awards for its art style, which is chaotic, monochromatic, and as best as I can describe it, “sludgy.” Then again, you might look at Mork Borg and feel like it’s more metal than grunge: it’s not casual, but rather designed for shock value. The world is destined to end, and your characters are futilely trying to make a difference in it; a lot of the cues seem to point to your own characters being not necessarily good people.

The Prophet, by The Punk Theologian.

The Prophet is a solo-journaling role-playing game. It requires a tarot deck and can be played in as little as 30 minutes or over days.

Receiving Revelations: Turn over a tarot card and let the prompts and the card image be the revelation from the deity that called you. Navigating through visions of struggle and cries of despair, following the guiding flames of insight, to help turn your people’s trajectory towards justice and equity.

Overcome Events: Flip coins to find out if the people heed your warnings and are aided by their deity in overcoming enemy invasion, surviving a great earthquake, or a raging fire, or are crushed by the weight of divine condemnation reaping upon themselves the consequences of sewing the seeds of inequity.

When it comes to aesthetics, The Prophet feels very DIY-inspired, and when it comes to design, I think the fact that it’s a solo game contributes to the feeling of isolation: your status as a prophet may separate you from your peers, and if your predictions go unnoticed, you could feel even more alone. The inspiration of the creator is defined as “punk,” but since punk is a genre that grunge pulls a lot of inspiration from, I don’t think that this necessarily disqualifies The Prophet from being a “grunge” - style game.

#iHunt, by Machine Age Productions.

#iHunt is a story telling game about killing monsters in the gig economy. In it, you play millennials scraping by paycheck to paycheck to make ends meet. A gig app called #iHunt offers them more money than they've ever made to hit the streets and kill vampires, werewolves, demons, and anything else that goes bump in the night. 

The base game of #iHunt centres around the soul-crushing nature of the gig economy, which in and of itself I think is a great focus for a grunge-style game. The supplemental zines created by the designer have a very chaotic and collage-like look, taking photos or public domain art and re-mixing them to create something new. If you want to get really grunge, you might want to check out The 90’s Sucked Ass Or Whatever, which is focused on the specific events and details that would affect your disillusioned monster hunters during the height of grunge.

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #game recommendations #dnd #asks #indie ttrpg #grunge

[tarotwithlove]

PICK A CARD ⭒ why did you meet this person? (any connection)

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · the devil, nine of cups (reversed), death, ten of swords, nine of swords, knight of cups (reversed), agate: courage, power, perseverance. 

channelled songs · loyalty by kendrick lamar. i'll have some in a bit by crywank. magic carpet ride by nct 127. low by sza. 

my dear group one ♡ the person you are asking about may be a friend. or, more likely, an ex-friend. this is someone who may have betrayed you -- for some, this person may have slept with, flirted with, or otherwise gone after a person you were romantically interested in. 

take it as it resonates, of course, but this was definitely some life-changing betrayal. a betrayal that shook you to the core and may have jaded you to friendships entirely. 

meeting this person may have served one singular purpose -- to reveal the truth to you. to reveal the truth about this third party or this opportunity, specifically to show you how flimsy this was.

because, dear, if this friend could come in and steal this away from you so easily then it was definitely flimsy. you met this person because, quite honestly, you were growing too comfortable in a life (or with a person) that was not meant for you.

and so this person was sent into your life to -- in their own warped way-- shake things up and realign you with your purpose. to realign you with the people, places, and things that are actually meant for you. and to, also, trigger you so that your unhealed and forgotten wounds are revealed to you. 

GROUP TWO

cards · four of cups, the lovers, five of pentacles, the fool (reversed), king of wands, moonstone: peace, travel, balance.

channelled songs · lost umbrella by inabakumori. a lot’s gonna change by weyes blood. sweet & easy by wonder girls.

my dear group two ♡ the person you are asking about may be a lover, or a potential lover with whom the connection did not progress. this person may have ghosted you or unceremoniously, and expectedly, ended things.

whatever the specifics of how things ended, it may have taken you completely by surprise because of how well things were going.

or, at least, how well you thought that things were going. and you may have thought that things were going really well. so when they ended things or you stopped hearing from them, you may have been completely blindsided.

you met this person to, in a way, remind you who you are. to remind you that you are a badass and a beauty. and to remind you what it feels like to love or really like someone again -- because, for many of you, it may have been some time since you last loved or *really* liked someone romantically.

thus, you met this person so that your heart would not grow cold and shrivel up simply from lack of use. while it may not feel like it, you have met this person -- more than anything else -- to remind you that you’ve still got it. and to remind yourself how much you have changed, grown, and matured -- because of how just a few years or months ago this experience would have completely broken you.

GROUP THREE

cards · the moon (reversed), king of wands, judgement (reversed), ace of wands (reversed), four of swords (reversed), lepidolite: rest, sleep, dreaming.

channelled songs · migrate by mariah carey. rhode island by the front bottoms. sugar and spice (i found me a girl) by luther vandross.

my dear group three ♡ the person you are asking about may be a stranger. someone you crossed paths with and can’t stop thinking about, with thoughts of this person constantly occupying your mind. so much so that it may upsetting to some of you, because you just want to forget and move on but you are unable to.

you may feel strongly connected to this person. and even though your paths crossed briefly, you may be wondering whether there is some strong soul or spiritual connection between you two. whether you are meant to be more to each other than just strangers.

and that is why you have met this person. because you are meant to be more to each other than just strangers.

in the past, you may have shied away from making the first move towards another person, but this person has come into your life to make you change that.

to make you step into your own, be more confident, and to take initiative so

that you may live a fulfilled life. a life without regrets.

in short, you have met this person so that you may push yourself out of your comfort zone.

#** #tarot #pac #pick a card #tarotblr #witchblr #tarotonline #tarotcommunity #witch of color #divination #channelled messages #channeled messages #spirituality #spiritualism

[py-dreamer]

@violetjedisylveon

Ok I honestly don't know if I'll ever finish the other WIP...

BUT

I've had this in my files for a while now, got the guts to finish it and so here it is.

Y'know that one painting in Rapunzel's tower? The one with the floating lights?

Yea so I wanted Red Son to have something like that but I thought that the prince is an inventor and while is still technically an artist so I wanted to give his piece a new format.

(art isn't necessarily a 2D format after all)

Then I remembered the wishing machine from the greatest showman.

And I thought like why don't we combine the two?

Like a stained glass wishing machine thingy!

And it makes sense cause with his firey powers and all, I imagine Red could easily melt sand if he ever got access.

So it would make sense that he'd experiment around with stained glass

AND ITS SO FREAKING PRETTY MAN LOOK AT IT

PLS MORE STAINED GLASS CHURCHES SHOULDN'T HAVE ALL THE FUN WHY ISN'T STAINED GLASS USED IN MORE DECOR ITS SUCH AN AESTHETIC!!!!

He wouldn't need a blowtorch or soldering iron cause again, he's got his hands.

I imagine his tools are quite limited in the tower so he'd make his own and for a kid who never left his tower, he's quite the craftsman I imagine!

think about it:

there are just hanging glass pictures everywhere.

You look in his bedroom and instead of the blank skylight you have a bit of a glass rook with shingles missing but replaced by stained glass pictures the prince made over the years

and we have that epic shot in the end of the movie where light streams through all the tiny windows and glass all showing the samadhi flower and Red Son realizes they're the goddamn lost prince!

Like wouldn't that just be magical?

Pay no mind to the gold ring in his hair, I genuinely don't know what its for.

I was trying to render the hair, made a part too shadowy like something was meant to be there so I just went:

"Slap a ring on it!"

I have to credit my friend (no name drops for privacy's sake) for pushing for the idea for the colorful spots of light

(ignore how it looks like circus polka dots)

during the performance I was working on, I spent like 50% of my time drawing when I wasn't needed (a lot of the time) and could just work on my projects which was really nice

And the performance was a hit!!

Gosh I still miss it so much, its only been like 4 days

I've honestly really put off this project cause I was really scared to do the stained glass but personally, I do really like how it came out!

THIS ISN'T MY AU!!!! I'M JUST MAKING FANART AND HEADCANONS IG

#lmk #lego monkie kid #py's_art #pog champ #lmk red son #lmk au #my beloved #tangled au #tangled 2010 #red son #stained glass #Spicynoodles Tangled AU #lmk fanfiction #hong hai'er #lmk mei #dragon mei #xiao long jiao #lmk long xiaojiao #not dragonfruit

[aithusarosekiller]

Just saw one of my posts reposted on Pinterest and a whiny ass bitch in the comments chose to be all condescending and rudely shut down my headcanon because they felt that only their interpretation was the right one so I'm doubling down and doing a character study:

No, I don't think Regulus was praised much by his parents growing up. I don't think EITHER of them were. I think they were both compared constantly in an attempt to 'push them to be better'.

The 'he was the golden child argument' doesn't disprove that interpretation, it just demonstrates Sirius' way of making sense of his experience in the household. That's his side of the story. And my headcanon does not take away from that experience. It adds to it.

I think they were both raised on very little praise and a lot of criticism and instruction. They were meant to be raised to be PERFECT and uphold their family views to a T. Why would they be showered in praise so often? In their parents' minds, that would only convince them they were already good enough and didn't need to bother anymore. If they were constantly competing with each other it would be a lot easier to mold them into ideal hearts to their ancient family line.

They would praise the other sibling to shame them into trying to outdo them. They would compare them to try and trick them into believing that it was THEIR choice to be 'better'. By the looks of it, that definitely worked better on regulus than it did Sirius, though Sirius still seems to remember it and the toll it took on him.

So yes I think that Sirius was told his brother was better than him. Obviously I do. But I don't think Regulus was ever there for any of that praise, or at the very least he didn't have much of it directed towards him instead of his brother.

I think they both heard 'your brother has much more discipline than you, if only you could be more like him' and 'at least your brother has confidence and pride' all the time and it created resentment. One sibling being able to express that resentment and competition doesn't cancel out any possiblity of the other facing the same thing 💀

Anyway don't let anyone tell you that your headcanon is stupid because canon says otherwise, make canon your bitch

#the black brothers #black brothers #regulus black #sirius black #I love both of them so much and will not be allowing blame to be placed on either

[ragingdumpsterfire]

.

#so I went to a concert on Friday #and had a really great time #it was so much fun and I hadn’t been to a concert like that in easily 15 years #but Troy was supposed to open for the show and he had to cancel #and I’m so bummed because I was really looking forward to seeing him play live #but now I just feel like this was my only chance to see him play live #and it’s just gone #it would have meant so much to experience that #but anyway #I still had a really good night just a little sad because I had been waiting so excitedly for that #and the universe is like lol nah bitch you don’t get to do that #you’ll never get to meet him #Leo rambles #about the stupid little things that manifest in my brain

[cold-neon-ocean]

As for why Wolf has purple eyes (in case anyone was wondering lol), his eyes actually used to be brown when he was younger, but he was experimented on and and augmented to adjust to living in space- including his eyes, so that's why they're purple bc they're cybernetics

#Orca #Killer Whale #Ocean #Space #Orca OC #Orcafolk #[ I realized I never explained why he has purple eyes outside of discord lolol #or really talked much about him XDD #ngl there are reasons I'm apprehensive to talk more about his backstory outside of just vague tidbits laksdfg #but he originally came from a small coastal orcafolk community where he lived with his family #then was captured by aliens (idk who yet) and experimented on so now he lives in space #that's the long and short of it lol! #purple is definitely not a natural eye color for Orcafolk but I realized no one would have known that XD #well now you know!! #I would like to talk about him more I just don't want people to be pulling things from his story that aren't meant to be there sobs ] #Neon Ocean Art

[neige-leblanche]

also y'all

does anybody have the original japanese of this line from book 5 ch 27???

bc rereading it i was like. O_O. is he. not talking about vil.

i was thinking like "the first read through you're definitely meant to think so, and vil did absolutely change rook's life, but with context from both book 6 and his halloween vignette, what he's describing here leans more towards the latter" which is like. masterful gaybait i can't even be mad. it's like that post saying "some gaybaiting is like a box propped up with a stick and a block of cheese underneath" except this has all the intricacy of a steampunk clock.

but my VERY shoddy japanese skills r telling me the line translates more to "beauty in your eyes and the darkness, lighting up your entire life for you—in a time in your existence when you'll be able to have [such an experience] (expanding on the prev line where he says they'll be able to understand his ideology in the future)"

^ and i probably mangled this so bad but the main point is i didn't hear him refer to a "someone" like he does in the english tl & i'm wondering if i missed it or if it was in fact added!!!

#txt #how should i tag this to potentially reach ppl who know the answer #twisted wonderland #rook hunt #i was gonna say the sunbeam simile does lean the other way too but iirc he does describe vil as radiant in an earlier scene so that's moot #anyway even if my translation is right you can interpret it as either of the ways i was talking about but it is/would be much more openended #much more cryptic and rookish hahahahaha #japanese is so hard dawg i only had to look up one of the words in this line to understand p much all of them but i still struggled so hard #figuring out what the words meant together😭💔 #& inb4 i'm having monolingual struggles i speak mandarin chinese as a second language which Also uses topic-comment structure #i do have way less experience w japanese though & one sentence of modern japanese can feel like a paragraph of mencius to me. #modern mandarin does not do 5d chess with language quite so much

[suncaptor]

nothing will make you sympathise with conspiracy theorist ideology more than having a seemingly rare reaction to a vaccine lmao.

#reading articles that try to falsify genuine incorrect information about the covid vaccines from 2021 is making me feel insane #'there's no way the covid vaccine can trigger an autoimmune disorder' uhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH #factually extremely wrong! #they're soooo condescening too like why on EARTH do you think people who are genuinely sick or scared would believe you. #they'll be like there's no scientific evidence that anyone can be harmed by the covid vaccine <3 blatantly untrue. #I know that part of this is retrospect like obviously since more studies have come out and all #but it's infurirating bc they're from the time *I* was having those symptoms *and* telling doctors about it *and* being told the connection #to my other severe symptoms from the covid vaccine were Utterly Impossible (since proven false) and that if the symptoms WERE related #it meant i had a life threatening illness at worst and had a high chance of losing my vision at best #likeeeeeeeee #doctors still DO NOT know what the fuck they're doing do NOT trust anyone who gives ANY 100% answers #i don't know why i'm doing this i just said to stop obsessing but i'm just reading pages and articles on countering misinformation to make #sure i don't -- i want to know the conspiracy theories to recognise them immediately right #and then people are just saying bullshit to defend themselves #i mean most of the anti covid vacc people were also far right so i don't have too much sympathy for their vaccine ideology #but like. fucking hell what a way to push people into conspiracies. #you CAN'T counter misinformation by SPREADING MORE MISINFORMATION #just because it SOUNDS BETTER and MORE REASSURING to say there's not chance of harm doesn't mean you should #there's A LOW chance of harm THAT IS MUCH MUCH less high than the impacts of covid #god I'm pissed off. 2021 i was so fucking terrified of spreading this shit just by talking about my lived experiences. #to say i was not taking the pandemic seriously OR anti vax is so blatantly ridiculous considering who I am as a person but that doesn't mea #that the covid vaccine specifically didn't make me ill :////// #delete