#it’s so weird I’ve never been on an actual diet cause I’ve always had a healthy weight

[larissareadings]

It’s okay, love.

➤ pairing: Draco Malfoy x gryff!fem!reader (house barely mentioned).

Request: None

tw: eating disorder; mentions of bullying and anxiety attack.

Note: I’ve wrote this based on personal experiences and what I needed at the time. DO NOT read this if it’s not comfortable for you. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please reach out for help.

English is not my native language so I’m sorry if there is any mistakes. This is my first fic ever so it might not be so good. I hope you enjoy it though.

Summary: Y/N is a keeper at the Gryffindor (barely mentioned) team, who has been developing an eating disorder and Draco Malfoy seems to be only one who noticed it.

Y/N always had problems with her body image. At her early teens at Hogwarts she used to be mocked, mostly by Pansy Parkinson and her friends, because she was too thin. When Y/N turned 14, she started gaining weight since she was eating too much due to her increased anxiety, and then she was again being mocked, except now because she was getting fat, and everyone talked about it, even when they didn’t want to be mean, saying things like “you should get on a diet”. By 16, Y/N started focusing on her weight loss journey, she was finally gonna be health, delicate and beautiful as the other girls her age.

Some months later

It was right after the quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. They won, of course, since you’ve let too many quaffles go through the goal hoops. You’re a keeper at the Gryffindor team, and you’re good at it. When you’re not dizzy anyway.

“It happened again, didn’t it?”

you heard the familiar voice behind you. It sounded soft, which was not a usual thing. You closed your locker and turned around to face Malfoy. The others had already left the locker room, so now it was just you and him.

"It happened what again, Malfoy?" you asked him, trying to sound indifferent, when you were all, but that. He had some power over you, it was irritating actually, how nervous you would get when he was around.

Malfoy has been acting weird these past few months, he didn't tease you anymore. When his friends said anything about you, he would either just leave or just stare at you, but never laugh with them, never contribute to their bullying. He was the only one in the group who said nothing about your recent weight loss. The others did. Pansy would never loose the chance to say you finally learnt to shut your mouth.

You hated that he hadn't said anything, you worried you hadn't lost enough weight for him to notice, and you wanted him to see that you could be pretty too.

He looked in you up and down, checking you, before focusing on your eyes again and said "Dizziness."

You didn't understand why he was saying this, why he would notice you feeling dizzy. "Yeah.. just a little. I'm bit distract that's all". A few seconds went by where he said nothing, just stood there looking at you. Was that concern in his eyes? You couldn't tell. "Look, uhmm, I don't know where this is coming from, but I have to go. If you have any jokes to make about me being a bad keeper, or an ugly, fat bad keeper or whatever" you noticed him flinch at that, as if it had hurt him. "say it now or leave it for tomorrow 'cause I'm really tired and just wanna go to my bed"

He walked towards you, enough for him to talk low and look closely into your eyes, making you even more nervous, and said "You have to stop this, Y/N, it's making you sick."

"I don't know what you talking about"

Now he let out a breath in disbelief. "Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? Let my clarify to you, then, It's a very simple concept, really, I thought you would know it by now." He was actually getting angry. "In order to live, people have to eat. It's the only way to get nutrients into your body. Really, Y/N, that's basics"

"I know about that. It's a good thing I eat, then, right?'' You said also angry now with his sudden aggressiveness.

"Do you though? 'Cause what I'm seeing-" he said gesturing to your body "is a girl fading away, a girl who plays with food at lunch instead of actually eating it, a girl who who used to be a great keeper, but now can't barely stand in a broom because is too weak to do so." He could feel his heart in his throat. He was so nervous, so scared you would fall off that broom. More than he could ever admit. He was keeping his worry to himself for months, hoping you would stop, hoping someone would intervene, but no one did. People just kept either praising your weight loss or humiliating you. But he couldn't stop himself anymore, if you had got hurt today, he would never forgive himself.

You felt your heart skip a beat at that. He was worried. Really worried. You didn't know how to react. You felt seen, someone saw what you were going through. But you also felt good, reassured. So you WERE thinner, and he noticed. “You know what? I don’t get it. Weren’t you and your friends the ones who said I was too heavy to play quidditch? that my weight would slow me down? that I would fall? that the broomstick couldn’t take it?” you now had tears in your cheeks. Your vision was blured by the tears and, God, you were so tired.

Malfoly’s heart might’ve actually broke in that moment. He was so angry at everyone who didn’t notice you hurting yourself, when he was actually the who drove you into it.

‘‘I am so tired.” you kept talking now, tears rolling down your face. “Why is it never enough? I’m tired. I’m thin, I’m ugly. I’m fat, I’m ugly too, and disggusting. I need a diet. I do a diet. and now fading away? OH well, just let me be happy for once.and I am happy now, ok? I’m finally beautiful.” You were talking so fast and you were feeling so weak. Malfoy saw that, so he immediately hold you in a hug, preventing you from falling. Your head were now in his chest, and you were trying to stop crying, trying to make your heart go back to it’s normal rhythm.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, love.” He said stroking your hair. “I’m sorry” he said almost inaudible.

After a few minutes you heart and breathing were finally stable again. You detached yourself from his harms, although his hands were still in both sides of your arms. You looked up to him with watery eyes. You hated crying in front of people. "I'm sorry" you said.

"It's okay." He said again, looking back at you. Taking his hesitant hand, like he was afraid to actually break you, to clean your cheeks from the tears. "I promise".

"Why are you doing this?" you were really confused. You had never seen Malfoy this gentle and.. scared?

He caressed you cheeks while looking from your eyes to your mouth. He then joined your foreheads and spoke really low, like a whisper. “I need you, Y/N.”

“what?” you said also in a whisper. you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

“I need you, and I need you to get better. This is making me crazy. I’m scared all the time. I’m scared you’re gonna fall off the stairs, or the broom. I’m scared of you getting hurt. Please.. just- just let me help, ok? Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Anything.”

“Can you.. uhmm. eat? with me, I mean” you asked detaching your heads to look in his eyes.

“Sure” He said immediately. “Is that all?”

“No.” you let out a breath in relief with his answer and smile a little. “But it may be a start. I think”

“Ok.” He returned your smile. “You should probably talk with someone else, though. Someone who could help more. A professor, maybe. I’ll go with you, if you want me to.”

“Yeah.. ok. Can we go to McGonagall, then? Not now, please. When I’m ready.”

“Of course. Anyone you want, love.” He said looking back at you before you hugging him again. Letting your head rest in his chest while he stroke your hair again. This felt like home to both of you. You were so scared, but he was hopeful. He would do anything for you to feel better.

This whole not eating thing made you so tired, but it was also so addictive. You didn’t know if you could ever get better, but maybe this was a start. Having someone to lean on, someone who cared.. it certainly helped.

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy angst #angst with a happy ending #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy #draco x y/n #draco x you #draco malfoy imagine

[charliedawn]

Charlie this is gonna sound weird but what would happen if the Hannibal’s got their fortunes read. I hope it’s good. With your love of angst it will be horribly saddening, but I hope it’s good anyway.

Kevin Hannibal

"Hey family.

Guess I passed away, huh ? Death finally knocked at the right door this time around.

Actually, I don’t really know what to say. Never thought I’d have to write a will. Not because I didn’t think I’d die or anything like that. Of course I knew.

But hum…I never thought I’d have anyone to write it for. Funny how that changed, huh ?

Well…Goodbye, you bloody wankers ! See ya in the next life."

Morgan Hannibal

"Greetings family,

I guess it is time for me to say goodbye.

I have lived a good life. Full of experiences. Full of knowledge. Full of love. Full of life really.

To Hannibal Jr. And to Hannibal Sr.

Thank you.

Thank you for giving me a life.

And to my little brothers.

Be great, you little pests. Respect your elders. And don’t cause trouble. Especially you, Kevin.

Don’t make me rise up from my grave."

Peter Hannibal

"Hi…

Hum…I don’t really have anything to give. Or anything to say. Sorry.

It’s hard to think about death when you’re young. But, I guess it is what it is.

So…I know I didn’t really do much but, my brothers all did wonderful things. Amazing things actually. Kevin is an artist. Morgan is a doctor. And I used to be so jealous of them.

But, I am not anymore.

Because I realised what it means to have a family. A real family. With you guys. I love this family. Actually, I thought every love had a little toxicity in them. I’ve never known a love that wasn’t destructive or harmful. But…you changed that.

You made me love you all. And you made me happy. So, thank you for that.

That’s it. Thank you for loving me the right way I guess."

Hannibal Jr.

"Well, my time has come, my children.

You all know how much I hate goodbyes. So, I’ll make this brief.

Kevin. I give you my car. My 1962 black Ferrari. Make good use of it. Treat it with respect. Learn to love it, as I have learned to love you.

Morgan. I give you my private collection of books. For I know that they will help you in your unending thirst for knowledge.

Peter. I give you a chance to make a name for yourself with my houses in Italy, France and Germany. Kevin and Morgan already went there and learned to be true Hannibals.

For to be a Hannibal, is more than just fortune, very special diet or our connections between ourselves—but with the world. Learn. Learn as much as you can. And don’t get distracted from what is truly important.

Each of my grandsons will have 15% of the Hannibal fortune. Use it wisely.

And finally, to my dear son. Hannibal Jr. Lecter. I give you my estate. My manor. My forest. And the remaining 55 % of my fortune. I trust you to make the best decisions for this family. And be a better father than I ever was."

Hannibal Jr.

"To my sons. I raised three perfect individuals on my own.

And I take big pride in it.

I may not have been your biological father, but what is a name really ? I was, am and will always be your guardian.

And my love for you has no price, no limit and no bounds.

I may not be there to see the great men you shall become, but know that I have absolutely no doubt of the wonders you will achieve together. I trust you.

As people.

And as a family.

Take care of each other, my children. And take care of your grandfather for me."

#fandoms #imagine #fanfic #hannibal siblings #morgan hannibal #kevin hannibal #peter hannibal #hannibal jr #hannibal sr. #the hannibal family #hannibal family #hannibals

[sanfangirl-cynicalromantic]

Blue Oleander

It's the last day of @httydhiccstridweek, and it's been crazy, enjoyable ride. Thank you so much @sorushing for hosting it! I hope we can do it again next year!

Summary:

“You again,” Hiccup greeted her. “Still think we’re lying?” She stopped in front of the counter, eyes stony but the fear behind them wasn’t well concealed. She was clutching each of her elbows with the opposite hand. Her blonde hair was loose and a little wild, like she had run her fingers through it quite a few times since she had done it. “How - how long does it take?” she asked quietly. “To - how long do I have?” Hiccup pushed himself upright and ambled over to the shelves behind him. “Without this? Usually around a couple months. With this?” He shook the bottle gently. “Um. Longest the patient ever lasted was up to a year.” The blonde stared at the bottle in his hands bleakly. “A year at most?” she asked faintly. ~ Of course, the universe hated him, so the person he’d fall for s would be a girl who was already dying because she was in love with someone else.

Read on AO3

He was often surprised at the patients that came in, but none had surprised him as much as the stunning blonde fidgeting in front of him.

“Yes?” he asked as she stood staring at him. “Are you lost?”

“No,” she said, frowning. “This is Blue Oleander, right? The sign was a little . . . faded.” He quirked one side of his mouth into a grimace of apology. Their sign was faded and overgrown with plants, but the desperate people always found them anyway.

“That’s correct,” Hiccup replied. “At your service. What do you need?” He didn’t know why he asked. Blue Oleander sold a few concoctions, the gray blue walls covered in unfinished gray wooden shelves lined with bottles, boxes, and pills. They were also a certified pharmacy, with a little extra kick, not that the customers really cared. People only came here for one thing.

“My doctor told me to come here,” she shared. “She said you’re the best.” Hiccup nodded and checked his clipboard sitting on the cluttered desk.

“Come this way, Miss . . .?”

“Astrid Hofferson,” she answered promptly. Hiccup nodded and wrote the name down. He’d probably never see that name again. There was no way a girl like her had any cause to be here.

“Why’d your doctor send you?” he asked. “Can you tell me what kind of symptoms you’ve been having?”

“Nothing, really,” she said. “Mostly short breath, but that’s weird because I exercise, and I don’t smoke, I have a nutritious diet, and I’ve never had respiratory problems before.”

“Hmm,” he frowned. “You said you went to your doctor first?” People usually had glaringly obvious symptoms before they sought out help from them.

“Yeah,” she said. “I was just going for my checkup, and she asked me if I had been experiencing anything unusual, and I remembered, yeah, actually, I was having trouble breathing. It’s - I’m an athlete. I need to get enough oxygen when I compete.”

“Yeah,” he hummed non committedly. “But that doesn’t sound like the abnormal illnesses we usually deal with. Was there no physical evidence of any type of disease? You sure it couldn’t be a cold? What made her certain it was an abnormal malady?”

“She, um, she asked me if I had any . . . romantic feelings for anyone,” she admitted. Hiccup raised an eyebrow.

“Do you?” he asked.

“Is that really a necessary question?” she snapped, frowning.

“It is, actually,” he said, not missing a beat. She blinked, taken about. “Do you?” he prompted.

She hesitated, her face twisting ruefully. “Yes,” she hissed, annoyed by such a personal question and his clinical detachment.

“Okay,” he made another note. “I’m going to check your throat and put you through an X-ray even if it’s too early to see anything, and then the doctor can diagnose you.”

A while later she sat stonily on the cot as she processed Dr. Ingerman’s words.

“I have . . . what?” she asked faintly.

“Better known as Hanahaki,” Fishlegs clarified. “It’s a disease one develops in the lungs when they suffer from unrequited love, causing them to cough up flower petals that may or may not develop into full grown flowers until the love is requited, or until the afflicted dies.”

Astrid looked horrified. “It’s fatal?” she demanded.

“Yes,” Fishlegs admitted.

“Okay, but you can cure it, right?” she asked, laughing disbelievingly. “I mean, there’s no way I could actually die from this?”

“Not really,” Fishlegs sighed. “It’s something the patient kind of has to cure. There are cases where it can be removed at the expense of the feelings towards the object of their affections-”

“Perfect. When can I schedule one of those?” she interrupted briskly.

“- But they are very dangerous, have a long recovery period, extremely expensive, and um, we don’t offer them.”

“What!” she cried. 

“We can’t afford to pay a surgeon-” Fishlegs tried to protest, his voice growing smaller as she wagged her finger angrily.

“Listen here,” she began dangerously, rising from the cot, paper rustling ominously. “Dr. Winger said you were the best, but -”

“Atali?” Hiccup interrupted from the corner of the room. He shook his head sadly. “She was lucky. We were able to hold off the Hanahaki for a while until she got the person to fall in love with her.” Astrid snapped her head towards him.

“You can hold it off?” she asked hopefully. “Why didn’t you say so? I -”

“It’s not permanent,” Hiccup said sternly. Fishlegs had retreated to the doorway nervously. Fishlegs may have been the authority in name, but it was Hiccup who dealt with the patients after the initial diagnosis. “It just puts off the inevitable, and it reacts to people differently. Sometimes it has horrendous side effects, and sometimes it speeds up the process of dying after being consumed. It was compatible enough with Atali that it bought her enough time to cure herself, but there is no guarantee, and the longer it takes the more you have to consume. It can only be cured by love, or you die.”

“No,” she said abruptly. “This is - this is ridiculous! Diseases like this don’t exist! You guys must be scammers and I’m - I’m out of here!”

“First stage, denial,” he commented flatly. She glared at him as he followed her out of the room back into the lobby.

“You’re wrong!” she insisted. “This is stupid. I - I - this isn’t real.”

“Come back when you cough up a bloody petal,” Hiccup suggested dryly. “That should be real enough.” She spun on her heel and marched out the door, slamming it behind her.

She was back in three days.

“You again,” Hiccup greeted her. “Still think we’re lying?” She stopped in front of the counter, eyes stony but the fear behind them wasn’t well concealed. She was clutching each of her elbows with the opposite hand. Her blonde hair was loose and a little wild, like she had run her fingers through it quite a few times since she had done it.

“How - how long does it take?” she asked quietly. “To - how long do I have?” Hiccup pushed himself upright and ambled over to the shelves behind him.

“Without this? Usually around a couple months. With this?” He shook the bottle gently. “Um. Longest the patient ever lasted was up to a year.” The blonde stared at the bottle in his hands bleakly.

“A year at most?” she asked faintly. She blinked a few times and gazed at the low ceiling.  

“Yep,” he nodded as he grabbed a notepad and scribbled three pens on it before finding one that worked. “How many petals have you coughed up?” he checked.

“Two,” she replied. “One, um, one a few hours after I saw you guys the first time and the second one this morning.”

“Okay,” Hiccup said, calculating. “You don’t need much of this for now. I would say take a tablespoon - or five milliliters if you want to be exact - twice a week.”

“Only twice a week?” she repeated.

“We don’t know how you’re going to react to it,” he explained. “For some it speeds the process up while it negates the effects of, well, coughing until you either suffocate on petals or drown in your own blood.” She cringed.

“Um, okay. You aren’t pulling any punches here,” she commented.

“You seem like the type of person who likes everything up front,” he replied. “And I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. It’s not pretty. The mortality rate is high, and from what I’ve witnessed over the years the coughing can be a pain.”

“I was just going to ask when I should come back?” Astrid asked.

“If it gets worse, or, if it doesn’t, in two weeks,” he told her. “Although ideally you wouldn’t come back if you got him to love you back.” She looked stricken at the reminder of how to cure herself.

“There really is no other way?” she pleaded. Hiccup frowned at her. 

“Unless you can get the surgery, no,” he answered frankly. “Why are you so against that method, though? Don’t you want them to love you back? You’re a beautiful woman, it wouldn’t be that hard.” Her pretty blue eyes stared at the ground blankly.

“Because . . . because he’s my best friend’s boyfriend.”

~

Three weeks later found her standing at the counter again.

“I - couldn’t,” she confessed ashamedly as she signed her name on the obligatory forms. “I just - Eret’s my best friend’s boyfriend, I can't just steal him like that. I could never do that to her, she’s my best friend, like a sister.”

“This is your life we’re talking about,” Hiccup said sternly as he wrapped the bottles up. “Surely she’d rather lose her boyfriend than have her best friend die. Especially if you guys are like sisters. You need to get him to fall in love with you or you don’t have a chance.”

“But she loves him,” Astrid said helplessly, taking the parcel and digging through her purse for payment. 

“It’s your choice,” Hiccup sighed. “I’m just telling you how I see it.”

“I don’t want to die,” she said resolutely. Hiccup found his mouth twisting unpleasantly. She seemed pretty against doing the one thing to survive.

“You won’t see me again,” she promised as she swiped her card. “Probably.”

~

“Next,” Hiccup said boredly before he looked up at the next customer. A semi familiar head of blonde hair over bashful big blue eyes met his on the other side of the counter. “Oh,” he raised a sardonic eyebrow at her.

“Hi,” she waved shyly.

“Look, I tried, okay?” she argued as Hiccup returned with her X-rays. She had been silent as he had let her to the back and scanned her, unable to meet his disapproving frown. “I tried for a little bit, but seducing him behind my friend’s back is sleazy, and I just couldn’t live with myself.”

“Well why do you have to do it behind her back?” Hiccup asked. “Wouldn’t it be better if you got her on board? Less hurt feelings and guilt, more support?”

“Oh yeah,” she scoffed. “I’ll just go up to her and say, ‘Hey, Heather! So I’m in love with your boyfriend and actually dying because of that, can you get your soulmate to fall in love with me instead? Thanks!’” Hiccup glanced at his clipboard tiredly.

“You say it’s settled further in your chest now instead of your throat?” he checked. Astrid nodded, biting her lip. He looked at her seriously. “You should up your dosage to every other day,” he instructed. “If that doesn’t keep it at bay, come back in and we can get you on the stronger stuff.”

“Thank you,” she said gratefully.

“You’re welcome,” he replied.

“It’s only getting worse,” he said tightly. “Do you need help raising money or something? I know people - we could help.” Astrid shook her head.

“That surgery isn’t a guaranteed result, and the recovery process - I’d lose all my grants,” she grimaced.

“You could lose your life if you don’t do anything now,” Hiccup pressed.

“I’ll find a way out of it,” she insisted. She cleared her throat and reached for the package, covering her mouth with her other hand. Hiccup watched as she left, worry creasing his brow. One of these days, he’d see her walk away for the last time.

~

The next time she came in she had an attack right at the counter.

“Astrid!” he cried concernedly as she burst into a fit of coughing in the middle of her sentence. He hurried around the counter and patted her back, rubbing soothing circles until a lone petal surrounded by spittle and fluid fell out of her mouth onto a (thankfully) clear part of the table. He frowned.

“Hmm,” he picked the slick pink petal to examine it. “There’s blood now. Is this new?”

“Yeah,” she rasped. “Since last week.”

It was a pink anemone flower. It had slightly different meanings in different cultures, but he remembered the Ancient Greeks believed it had sprung from the blood of a slain lover, and in Japan the flower was also used for funeral arrangements. How fitting, a flower that came from blood and represented death. The pink was pale verging on white, making the bright specks of blood stand out like fresh rubies on white sheets.

“Why didn’t you come in then?” he demanded. “We can’t treat you if we don’t know how the illness is progressing.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, wiping her mouth with a tissue. “I just - if you guys didn’t tell me it was worse it wasn’t true.” Hiccup felt a pang at the pain in her voice, and reached out unthinkingly for her hand. She squeezed it automatically.

“You shouldn’t be coughing that hard then,” Hiccup frowned. “I’ll see if we can treat the cough separately. Let’s get you X-rayed again,” he said as he led her to the back.

“I’m not even going to say it,” he shook his head as he entered the room. Her face drew together angrily. “But, you know, I was starting to be relieved you weren’t coming back. I thought maybe you’d cured yourself.”

“I don’t want to break them up,” she insisted. “They love each other; they don’t deserve this.”

“And you do?” Hiccup asked keenly. She looked away.

“This way it’s only hurting one person,” she whispered. Hiccup felt panic bob in his throat painfully. How dare she feel this way? Could she not see there were people who cared for her and would feel her loss acutely. And he wasn’t talking about himself, no. He just could tell every time she came in and he got to know her better that she was special, and the world would be so much worse in her absence. His heart clenched at the thought. No, he wanted to say. It’ll hurt more than just you.

“Have you thought about getting it removed?” he asked desperately.

“From the research I’ve done, the surgery is very taxing on the person - I mean, they have to cut you open and try to scrape the disease out of your lungs - and once it reaches the heart you’re done for. I would never be able to breathe without help and could no longer overexert myself, and the surgery might take away all of my memories about Eret, sure, but so many of them are good - I was friends with him first, you know? And he and Heather are always together. I’m afraid that, I don’t know, but I don’t want to lose her, too. Plus it’s extraordinarily expensive,” she laughed humorously.

“The potion doesn’t put it off forever,” Hiccup warned. “The disease has finished transferring to the lungs and the petals will become more painful and frequent unless you do something about it. And you don’t know if it might get worse faster, depending on how Eret and Heather’s relationship evolves.”

“I know,” she said dully and reached for the parcel he’d brought, bigger than ever before.

So do something about it, he pleaded silently as he set her prescription. But he could see the dwindling light in her eyes. It was growing steadily. She had already given up on the endeavor before she really began..

~

She stormed into the office and slammed her purse on the desk. Hiccup looked up from his notebook, startled. Her eyes were brighter than before, but with the feverish gloss to them, not the healthy shine. “I need more,” she said simply. She shouldn't have been here so soon - she must have been consuming the potions more than she ought, but Hiccup wordlessly guided her to the back of the office to a waiting room. She took a bottle out of her bag and took a swig, throwing her head back like it was a shot of alcohol.

“Hey,” he caught her wrist as it came down. “Careful. You don’t need to drink that much. You should save it.”

“If you don’t let go of me I’m going to throw it,” she threatened in a low voice. He released her wrist quickly.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “If I could have the bottle please?” She handed it to him reluctantly. “How often do you get petals now?” he asked her. She slumped and rubbed her eyes.

“A lot,” she said. “Usually at least three a day, sometimes double that. They don’t come one at a time anymore, either. They usually come as two or three still attached petals.” Hiccup cringed. She caught his expression.

“It’s bad,” she stated. He hesitated.

“It is,” he relented. “But not impossible.” Not yet. She could live if she just tried, but it seemed she’d rather die before she did that.

“I’ve tried to distance myself,” she told him, her shiny eyes pleading. “I was hoping I could just . . . fall out of love.” Hiccup sighed.

“I don’t think that’s ever worked for Hanahaki,” he said sorrowfully. “The absence of requited love is what’s killing you.” She slammed her fist against the cot and he jumped.

“Dammit. Dammit!” she cried. “This is so unfair! I never asked for this! I didn’t want to be in love! I had - I had plans! I have a life! I can’t just die,” her voice broke. “Please don’t let me die.”  The corners of her blue eyes glimmered as she begged him silently, tears threatening to fall despite her valiant efforts.

Hiccup swallowed. This was always the worst part. The part where he had to look these desperate, dying people in the eyes and tell them there was nothing he could do. He couldn't make people love each other - oh, but if only he could.

“I’ll do my best,” he said gravely. “But there isn’t much I can do.” Astrid’s face crumpled. “Have you thought about getting it removed?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes,” she said, her mouth twisting upwards into a grimace. “I wish I could, but it’s so expensive and I can’t afford it! Even if I had the money - my job, my lifestyle, I could never recover enough to go back to that! And the waiting list for the government to pay for the surgery and rehab is years long, which is stupid because this isn’t the kind of thing that waits.” Hiccup shook his head sadly.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Her face contorted and she screamed out loud in rage.

“How could this happen!” she cried. “I don’t want this! Why, why, why did this happen to me?” she sobbed. Hiccup stood there awkwardly, hating his life as he watched her helplessly. He got the feeling she didn’t cry often.

“What were your plans?” he asked when she’d quieted down a little later. Astrid wiped her eyes and squinted at him.

“What?” she asked, her voice still thick and hoarse.

“You said you had - plans. For your life. Before - What were they?” she scoffed.

“What, are you my therapist now?” she asked sardonically, her pretty lips twisting in a scowl. Hiccup shrugged. “I’m free for a couple hours, and it’s cathartic.”

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes. “I was, um. I was going to try to make it to the Olympics.”

“Oh!” he exclaimed. “Cool. What, ah, in what?”

“Gymnastics,” she replied. “A gold medal in vault, specifically.”

“Wow,” he commented. “That’d be really amazing. What do you do now?”

“I train, although that’s been getting harder with me coughing up flower petals as often as I do,” she smiled ruefully. “And when I’m not doing that I’m either working at the bookshop or studying.”

“You work at a bookshop?” Hiccup asked, surprised.

“Yeah, why?”

“Oh, I dunno. I just - figured you’d be a waitress or something like that.” She snorted. “Deal with those assholes all the time? I could never. Nah, a bookstore is quiet, and you don’t have to be nice to get paid”

“That’s fair,” Hiccup acknowledged.

“What about you?” Astrid asked.

“What?” he turned to her.

“What about you?” she waved a hand at him. “Tell me about yourself, you know, so this can be an actual conversation instead of awkward venting.” Her voice was nonchalant but her eyes sparkled with curiosity, a welcome change from the despair they had shown only a minute ago.

“Okay,” Hiccup said stupidly. “What do you want to know?”

“Why are you here?” she asked. “Isn’t it depressing, watching all these people dying because they’re too pathetic to get someone to love them?

“It’s not pathetic,” Hiccup responded. “It’s saddening. I mean, look at you,” he pointed at her. “You’re this beautiful woman, and yet you’re still here, dying from flower petals and unrequited love. It’s sad, yeah, but, I don’t know,” he cut himself off but she was looking at him intently, like she was interested in him as a person and he found himself continuing against his will.

“My dad - Hanahaki runs in the family,” he started over. Astrid cocked her head attentively. “And my dad, he caught Hanahaki. My Mom. She, uh, left us when I was a teenager and my Dad didn’t take it very well. He still loved her a lot, and then he caught Hanahaki and wasted away pretty quickly. I took care of him all those months, and it really left an impact on me, I guess. It’s become my kind of whole life’s work. He gestured around the room. “Here, I help people. I give them potions to keep them alive longer so they can make their other person fall in love with them. I - I track their cases and study them, finding the similarities and differences in hopes of finding a cure or at least a better counter effect. And yeah, most of them die but those who don’t? Those that succeed and get cured . . . they’re doing what my dad couldn’t, and I’m a part of that.” She stared at him for a few moments after he’d finished.

“Wow,” she said eventually. “That’s . . . powerful.”

“Yeah?” he asked hopefully. She nodded.

“I can’t imagine the bravery it must take to do this everyday,” she whispered, her eyes searching his face intently. He looked away, embarrassed and scratched the back of his neck bashfully.

“It’s nothing,” he laughed softly.

“No,” she insisted, reaching out to grab his hand. He stilled at the contact, his heart giving a flutter in his chest. “For us, it’s everything.” Hiccup’s throat tightened and he cleared it before he trusted himself to speak again.

“You have to try,” Hiccup told her, the lump in his throat that formed when he was around her forcing a bite in his voice. “What’s the point if you’re never going to try?”

“You don’t understand,” Astrid shook her head. “Heather is - she’s everything to me. She’s like my sister, sure, but she’s . . . she’s the one who’s been with me through thick and thin. I could never take away the one thing she values so much. She’s . . . relationships have never come easy. To either of us. And now she’s finally found her one - how could I possibly want to take that away from her.”

“Astrid,” Hiccup said in a low voice, crouching slightly to meet her downcast eyes. “If she’s been with you through thick and thin, don’t you think she’d support you now? Do you think she’d want to lose her best friend and isn’t even there to help through her chronic illness because you refused to tell her? This Eret guy, he sounds great, but is their love worth more than your life?”

“She would!” Astrid cried. “She would give him up for me, I know it. But she wouldn’t forgive me for it. And, even if she tried to make Eret fall in love with me - which she would - he genuinely loves her, he would never replicate my love with her around.”

“So you’d just never even try,” he scoffed, standing abruptly and pacing a few steps away from her.

“I -” she opened her mouth indignantly. “That’s not-”

“That’s exactly what this is!” Hiccup cried, spinning around to point at her angrily. A tight knot formed in his chest and rose to the bottom of his throat, uncomfortable as he tried to force his voice around it.

“Why are you angry?!” she cried.

“Because you’re supposed to be the one who’s successful!” he yelled at her. “You’re supposed to be the beautiful woman I was able to save!! You’re not supposed to give up when I’ve invested so much in you!”

“How dare you!” she cried. “I’m not just an investment you can show off!”

“No, no you’re not,” Hiccup spat. “You’re a person and I broke the rules of staying detached to cases because I started to care about you as a person, and now you’re forcing me to watch you die because you won’t even try to save yourself.”

“I-”

“And it’s not your fault for getting Hanahaki, but it is your fault for giving up here, and you’re not the one who has to suffer the consequences!”

“That’s - you’re wrong, okay! That’s not - you don’t understand or even know anything about me! We’re not friends! All you know about me is that I’m dying, but you have no idea who I am otherwise! And you have no right to make assumptions about something you know nothing about.”

“You may not have told me your whole sob story but I’m sure I could guess,” Hiccup sneered. “Let’s see; lonely successful girl. I’m guessing your parents were emotionally unavailable, and dropped you off at sports so you didn’t bother them. Never came to any of your games, and you tried to be the very best in a bid for their approval. You probably went through a rebellion phase in your late teenage years, but your friend Heather has been a steady rock for years now. So when you saw her enter a healthy and fulfilling relationship, you wanted one too. But instead of finding one for yourself, you latched onto the one right in front of you and fixated on Eret. And because of your emotional instability, you equated the ability to make Eret -  a man happily taken and out of your reach - in love with you determine whether or not you were truly lovable, allowing the Hanahaki to take root because you’ve hinged your entire life and expectations on this unattainable goal. So now you’re dying, and you feel so guilty you’re willing to let that happen despite your desperate need to actually live life to its fullest.” His chest was heaving by the time he was finished, and Astrid mute in shock.

“You didn’t branch out with any of your relationships - romantic or platonic.” he continued. “And the awful thing is maybe you could have avoided this if you put yourself out there and made a few more meaningful relationships.” Astrid shook her head avidly and backed away. “I can’t -” she said, her voice so small it was hard to hear. “I-” she stumbled on the worn carpet and almost ran out the door, leaving Hiccup to sink in his seat and wonder what he had just done.

He slammed his hand on the desk, rustling the papers. His hand stung, and he filled himself a glass of water to soothe his throat, raw from yelling at her. An old vase caught his eye, the water in it long evaporated, leaving that disgusting brown sticky residue at the bottom, the long dead pink roses shriveled up forlornly. He and Fishlegs had tried to brighten up the space with flowers a while ago before stopping after realizing what a slap in the face it was. He threw the dried stalks out the window and washed the vase out. He hated pink flowers. He hated pretty girls who didn’t try to live. And most of all, he hated the fact he still cared when every person he cared about died from this stupid disease.

~

He was honestly surprised to see her again. He heard the click of her shoes on the stairs but didn’t dare look up to check who it was before she was standing in front of him.

“Hi,” she said quietly, and Hiccup snapped his head up to look at her.

“What?” he cried, scrambling upwards. “I, I - uh. I didn’t think you were coming back.”

“I still need the potions,” she said awkwardly, looking embarrassed. Hiccup deflated.

“Right. Yeah, sorry.” He turned to gather a few bottles - four, now, because she was starting to go through them unnervingly fast. “I also, um-”

“I want to apologize first,” Astrid interrupted.

“Wha-What?” Hiccup asked. “No, I’m the one-”

“I said some pretty awful things too,” Astrid insisted.

“Fine,” Hiccup rolled his eyes. “Go ahead.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I um. You were right. About me. I don’t know how because no one’s supposed to know about that. . . my inner feelings. I mean, I didn’t even know them. So also, thank you? For exposing me because I probably never would have confronted them on my own.”

“You’re - welcome? I am also sorry. I should never have yelled at you and presumed to know everything about you.”

“You said something about how this could have been avoided if I had more friends,” Astrid began. Hiccup opened his mouth to take those words back but she held up a hand. “And you’re kind of right,” she acknowledged. “Plus, I’m avoiding Heather and Eret so I’m lonely, and you’re the only one who really knows what’s going on with me and everything.”

“So you’re saying . . .” he trailed off.

“I’d like for us to be friends,” she clarified. “Like, outside of this clinic.”

“Really?” he asked.  Hiccup’s heart skipped a beat.

“Yes,” she said, nonplussed. “I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I wasn’t serious.”

“I - yeah, I know that. Kinda. But I mean, you want to be friends? With me? After everything?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “And not despite everything, but rather because of it. I mean, like you said, you’re already too emotionally invested and I could use an actual friend who knows what’s going on. Plus, you’re a pretty cool guy. I’m sure we’d have fun together.” Seeing his hesitation she added, “Please? Do it as my dying wish?” That brought a scowl to his face.

“Fine. I accept,” he pointed a finger at her. “Not because you’re dying, though, but rather in spite of it.”

“Great!” she smiled. “Would you be free to meet up sometime this weekend?” Hiccup sighed and nodded. Whatever he was getting himself into, he knew it wouldn’t be healthy for him. And yet, seeing the simple wish in her eyes for a friend, how could he possibly deny her? Besides, he’d always wanted a friend too.

~

Being Astrid’s friend was dangerous, because he got exposed to her magnetic force that had drawn him in when he only saw her with weeks in between, but she had latched onto him, seeking his company like her life depended on it, which was ironic. And he would get caught up in her lively laughter, her smiles, her dry perspective on life with that hint of whimsy underneath. She made him feel more alive than he had in years, but then he’d be privy to all her dosages of that damned potion. He’d watch as a thought of Eret crossed her mind and she’d double over, hacking so hard he’d have to wait before administering the potion so she could have a chance of digesting it, and each time he’d worry this would be the last cough and she’d die before he could pour that time-stealing liquid down her throat.

The disease had grown stronger. It thrived and originated off of unrequited love, yes, but that didn’t stop it from permeating every aspect of Astrid’s life - and now, his. He’d lost count of how many nights he’d stayed over at her place, holding back her hair as she drained her life out into the toilet, rubbing soothing circles along her back and whispering you’re gonna be okay. This isn’t it. Here, take this. Breathe. No - no, it’s alright. It’s okay. I’m still here. Yeah, I’ve got it right here. You’ll be okay, Astrid.

He told her he was the one who created the potion and why he wasn’t the official doctor instead of Fishlegs.

“But that’s amazing!” she exclaimed. “I mean, you made a successful remedy all on your own? And you were so young then, too. Surely that deserves a Nobel Prize or something.” He sighed.

“It doesn’t work like that,” he admitted. “I didn’t follow protocol . . . I did some pretty illegal things, and I went through a pretty shady testing process. And I don’t think they’d want to acknowledge someone like me was the one to come up with it and reveal how I was smart enough to go behind their backs, revealing them to be incompetent, or how Hanahaki wasn’t exactly as uncommon as they thought.” He usually had at least one customer every day, some of them from all over the world pleading for the tonic. He never had the heart to charge them, not when they had given up everything for this small chance.

He brought out his journals to show her one day when she felt too sick to get out of bed. “I didn’t document all of the cases, but, you know, most of them are there,” he shrugged as he dumped them on her plush duvet.

“How many years ago do they date back?” she asked.

“Since I was seventeen,” he replied. “Just over ten years now.” She flipped through the pages, complimenting his drawings of all the different flowers and crying sometimes at the struggles of the people recorded on the faded, cheap pages. So many had died, unable to stand a chance against the relentless flowers. There were few successful cases. She lingered particularly long on Dr. Atali’s.

“You know,” Hiccup said quietly after he cleaned her vomit up for the tenth time that day. “I have this theory that maybe Hanahaki could be cured by something other than the person you’re in love with.”

“Really?” Astrid asked weakly. “Do share.”

“I dunno,” he stared at her stained sheets. He hadn’t known how to clean them the first time she had gotten blood on them, but had since gotten better with lots and lots of practice. “From what I’ve observed, Hanahaki develops to literally fill a hole in your heart. I’d always hoped- I wondered if the cure is always that person’s requited love, or if it could ever be someone else’s.”

“What do you mean?” Astrid asked.

“Don’t get all excited,” Hiccup warned her. “But what if - what if the diseased could fall in love with someone else - someone who returned their love, and it cured them? I never had the courage to suggest it to a patient, but . . .” he swallowed. “You’re more than that now.” Astrid sat up slowly.

“You’re saying if I could fall in love with someone else I could cure myself?” she asked hopefully.

“No,” he corrected her. “I thought there might be a small possibility.”

“But if I could just like-”

“You have to love them,” he emphasized. “Probably more than you love Eret. And they’d have to love you back entirely. Not just some jerk who’s attracted to your looks and thinks your personality is just a nice bonus; it has to be unconditional. They’d have to love you just as much as you love them, with all their heart.” An unbidden seed sprouted and rose in his throat, but he forced the thought down. Like I do, he wanted to say, but no. No, he was already on dangerous ground. Yes, Astrid was already unlike everyone he’d ever met, but she was still just a friend. It wasn’t more than that. Hiccup knew he had a naturally caring nature and that was why he was so concerned about her, why on the nights he slept in his own rickety slat he woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming he’d wake up in the morning with Astrid gone, choking on her own bile or something equally horrific because he wasn’t there to help her to the bathroom. He cleared his throat, but it came out like a raspy cough.

“But if I found that?” she asked, her voice low, like the subject was sacred.

“There would still be no guarantee,” he said, wanting to swallow again to wet his dry throat.

“What do we have to lose though?” she persisted.

You, he thought.

~

She started to improve, little by little, but Hiccup did not get his hopes up. He had watched enough people to know the respite usually came before the last wave would hit the hardest. Winter came, and along with it a snuffling nose and cold mittens wrapped around his cracked mug. It was also the season for cough drops, and Hiccup consumed many to soothe his itchy, sore throat from the harsh wind, using honey instead of sugar for the time being to sweeten his coffee in the mornings.

“Hey!” a bright voice greeted him and he couldn’t help but smile even as his heart twisted in his chest. His theory had given her hope and it pained him to think of what would happen when it was proven wrong. There was also an ugly pain in the back of his mind at thinking of watching her try to fall in love with someone else. Whoever they were, they would never deserve her, and how could the undeserving twit possibly be the one to cure her of her affliction? It wasn’t fair, not with all those late nights and lunch breaks and early mornings he had put into taking care of her. For what would happen once she was free from the need of his stupid potions? None of his successful cases had ever stuck around, too caught up in their honeymoons of feelings and relief to care about him. He had used to wish he wouldn’t see her again when she’d first started to come in so he could believe she’d been successful in her cure, but now he couldn’t bear it. They were friends now, but that was because he was the only other person she had that wouldn’t cause her to die quicker.

“Wow,” she commented gently, bringing him out of his reverie. “You look like you’re thinking a lot.”

“No more than usual,” he replied blithely. “You look especially light hearted today, practically radiant.” He froze as his words registered. He hadn’t meant to compliment her. But then, maybe he could let it slide this time as Astrid’s cheeks warmed with a delicious pink not from the cold. She studied the dusty floor for a little bit, recovering her composure before she spoke again.

“I’ve been thinking,” she began.

“Thor help me,” he muttered. She smacked his arm lightly and he laughed. “Seriously,” she complained. “I’ve been thinking about your theory.” Hiccup’s smile dwindled.

“Astrid, it’s just a theory. There’s no research behind it. You can’t put too much hope in it; it’s never been tried before.”

“Well, then I can try it and you can add it to your research even if it’s a dead end -” she cut herself off with a laugh at the pun while Hiccup tried not to choke at the idea. “And refer to it with your other patients.”

“Astrid-” he began.

“You’re not going to stop me,” Astrid interrupted. “I think your idea has merit and I’m going to try it if it’s the last thing I do. Remember what you said four months ago before we were friends?”

“I said a lot of things,” he groaned, already knowing that Astrid had won the argument. A fond, tickling sensation made itself known in his esophagus and he tried to ignore it.

“You said you think I latched on to Eret because I just wanted a relationship for myself! So my Hanahaki isn’t even as emotionally tied to the subject of my affections the same way others might have been. I have a chance, Hiccup,” she pleaded. “And it’s given me hope. Besides, I’ve already chosen my guy.”

This time Hiccup did choke. “What?” he spluttered.

“I have a guy that I’m . . . developing feelings for,” she said breezily, like her words weren’t crawling into his chest like thorny roots and piercing his lungs. “And I think he would meet all the requirements if I got him to care for me, which I’m confident I can do.”

“Oh,” Hiccup said stupidly. His heart sank at the thought of her smiling at some unknown face with that sparkle in her eyes. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but it had, because, well, wasn’t she supposed to be in love with someone else already? He imagined her laughing over coffee with this unknown guy, bright blue eyes and pink cheeks with those adorable bangs falling into her eyes and making her toss her head endearingly. He was probably handsome and muscular and cleaned his room and didn’t run a slightly illegal rundown, decrepit pharmacy that had needed a new coat of paint for the last four years. He fought against a petulant frown.

Astrid rolled her eyes at him and he felt indignant. What else was he supposed to say? “Um, well let’s talk about this some more at lunch,” he suggested, feeling like an idiot.

“Perfect,” she flashed bright white teeth at him and bounced out of the room. He followed her with his eyes and then his ears until he heard the door close downstairs before he doubled over in a coughing fit. He coughed and coughed and coughed but that soft bit of mucus just wasn’t coming out so he staggered over to the sink to continue hacking. He felt something slimy on the back of his tongue and frantically tried to spit it out. It was a large glob that . . . didn’t feel like a glob. As he wagged his tongue, a feeling of dread settled in his stomach. He spit, and it landed in the sink, clear in its condemnation.

A blue oleander petal lay starkly against the stained steel of the sink. He stared at it unblinkingly, his mind running through all the coughs from his cold in the past weeks, the itches from the weeks before. The tickling sensations all those months ago. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He was supposed to be the one who caught himself before this happened!!

A blue oleander. Sometimes he had tried to find amusement in the bleak stream of dying patients and had rated the different flowers that came out of their mouth. Cherry blossoms were the most common, followed by roses, and boy, were those horrific. Cherry blossoms were small enough, and while they killed just as easily, there was something particularly gruesome about roses. They were huge, and of the three people he’d watched hack roses out of their throats, the flowers had been whole. With stems. And thorns. He remembered the first time he had seen someone reach into their mouth and tug the rose out, sobbing in pain as the thorns caught and shredded their throat. They hadn’t known whether to spit the blood out or try to swallow it. Hiccup had thrown up that night when he’d gone home.

But blue oleander. That was a new plant. Fitting, given that he had named his business after it. It was a simple plant with small, brightly colored flowers. He knew his oleanders well. The red ones were good for decorations while the purple ones had healing properties. But the blue ones, well. They were poisonous. To humans and other creatures. If the myths about dragons were true, the beasts couldn’t sniff one without being affected. Humans, on the other hand, would have to ingest a good amount of concentrate for the flowers to have any serious negative effect, but the fact he had poisonous flowers growing somewhere in his lungs? Well that didn’t fill him with dread at all.

He’d also never seen this flower up close. Due to their poisonous nature, blue oleanders were banned in multiple countries. The pictures had never done its color justice. The petals were a stark electric blue - rather like Astrid’s eyes, he realized.

“Is it contagious?” a patient had asked once. She had been a frail girl of twelve. She hadn’t lasted long. Hiccup remembered crouching down in front of her to meet her worried eyes and flashing her a crooked smile.

“No,” he had assured her kindly. “No, it’s not contagious.”

But at that moment, it felt like it was. He felt like he had kissed a hundred people with tuberculosis in one room and believed he was perfectly safe. He had exposed himself to her, and now he had caught the deadly disease. How ironic, that he had caught it now, after falling in love with a person who had it for someone else.

Oh, this was just his luck! He knew that he was particularly susceptible to Hanahaki, but as the lonely years had gone by he hadn’t ever thought he’d actually catch it! Not when he never got out enough to form attachments to anybody. Of course, the universe hated him, so the person he’d fall for so hard it’d cause him to die would be a girl who was already dying because she was in love with someone else.

And now she was trying to fall in love with someone else. People had never been successful in falling out of love to escape their Hanahaki, but he sincerely hoped that their method would just be more like a transfer, filling the requirement of reciprocation. But what guy could she mean? Who could she have possibly been seeing? It wasn’t jealousy that made him wonder, simply protectiveness. She was sick and ready to latch onto anyone who would help her - who was he to know if this other guy didn’t have alternate ambitions?

And, selfishly, he didn’t want to be the one to break his heart and give his life to cure her so she could bestow her love on another man. That was awful of him, he knew, but he was dying, couldn’t he think mean things?

But she’d never return his feelings. How could she? She was so far out of his league there was no way she could ever feel the same. She was a successful young woman, ambitious and hardworking. How could he and his run down business, peeling paint, and awkward self ever hope to match her?

His affliction progressed at an exponential rate. The thing about Hanahaki being tied to love was that the more he loved her, the more it hurt (the more he died). So he brought his own bottles of remedies and swigged a great gulp before he knocked on her door and she opened it with a smile. When she’d start coughing he’d jump out of his chair to get her a bottle, and take a sip as he was returning it to the medicine cabinet. She didn’t have much time left, as she was coughing all the time now, not just when she thought about Eret or maybe the other guy.

And it was painful, trying to support her while she talked about her new guy with shining eyes, catching her when she coughed so loudly she couldn’t stand.

“You know, even if this doesn’t work, at least you’ll have tried, right?” she’d said after she caught the worried look in his eyes. “I’ll go in your journal - you’ll make my portrait pretty, right?”

No, he thought. Because I probably won’t last long enough after you.

~

“Hey,” are you okay?” Astrid started asking as he was excusing himself from the room nearly every minute.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he assured her.

“Are you sure?” she checked. Her hair was falling distractingly over her shoulder, her pink lips pressed together in concern. He felt a flower start to build in his throat again. While Astrid’s Hanahaki had been petals upon petals - the type of illness where the infected usually died of suffocation instead of drowning - Hiccup had whole flowers coming out of his mouth. The stamens and filaments along with the petals. The full on stems and leaves had not yet arrived, so he had some time, but gods, it felt like he was already dead

“Mhm,” he smiled tightly at her. “Of course. I just - I just need the bathroom.” He backed away, trying to breath slowly as his throat clogged up with flower heads.

“Again?”

“Yes,” he bit out as gently as he could. “When you gotta go you gotta go!” He fled to the other room, refusing to be embarrassed by what he’d just said. Yes, he was dying, but did he really have to insinuate he had terrible bladder control in front of the gorgeous girl he liked? Part of him contemplated throwing up the flowers down the toilet but if one petal didn’t get flushed his secret would be out. He snuck to the pantry instead, grabbing paper towels that he carefully spit into, his stomach curling in disgust. He folded the towels and stuffed them into his back pocket, to be later hidden in  his bag. He let out another cough and reached for a bottle, uncorking his and closing his eyes in relief as he took a sip.

“-Hiccup?” His eyes flew open in surprise and he inhaled the drink. “Oh no!” she reached for him and he shied away reflexively, ignoring the way her beautiful face fell.

“I’m fine!” he gasped as he coughed to clear his throat. “Really, just - went down the wrong pipe.”

“What are you doing?” she demanded, crossing her arms.

“I - I was just thirsty?” he tried.

“Why are you drinking that?” she asked sharply, jutting her chin towards the bottle still in his hand. His eyes widened in panic and he pretended they were widening in realization.

“What the - Whaaaat? Oh my God, this wasn’t what I meant to pick up! Ha ha . . . that explains why it tasted so funny.” Astrid grabbed the bottle from his hand.

“Stop lying to me,” she ordered, her voice growing thick with intimidation. “Why are you drinking your potion?”

“I wanted to see how it tasted?” he tried.

“The truth, Hiccup!” she yelled. She let out a cough, a couple light pink petals falling from her mouth, and Hiccup had the stupidest urge to cough with her.

“I-” his voice was strained from holding the cough in.

“Please, tell me what’s happening,” she said desperately. “Why are you always running away? Lying to me? Am I doing something - am I making you uncomfortable? I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry about all of this. I - trust me, I don’t want to do this either. I thought you wouldn’t mind - I mean. But this - you - don’t tell me -”

“Of course not,” Hiccup interrupted. The only thing he had left was the dignity of not being hopelessly in love with her. His hand went automatically to his back pocket. Her eyes followed his hand and he gave in to the unbearable suffocating itch in his throat. As he bent over she lunged for his pocket, dragging the bunched up paper towel. He cried out, trying to grab it back but she was quick, dancing out of his reach as he had to hack again, stiff leaves and petals scraping the raw insides of his throat. She undid the wad of paper towel just as he spit out his own plant. She dropped the package in horror, bright blue flowers falling onto the wooden floor next to Hiccup’s whole flower. It was a wet, drowned reminder of a romantic gesture. A part of him almost wanted to pick it off the floor and present it to Astrid, the way a suitor might pick a pretty, blooming flower for his lady.

“No,” she whispered brokenly. Her knees gave out from under her and she collapsed onto the floor. “No no no no nononono.”

“Astrid,” he reached a hand out to her shoulder but hesitated. She would probably push his touch away. “I’m sorry,” he told her. “I really - I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“How long?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“Not long,” he sighed. “It’s just - powerful. Very powerful.” She let out a harsh, disbelieving laugh.

“Who is it?” she asked dangerously.

“Astrid-”

“Who is the bitch that got your love and never returned it!” she cried loudly. “Who? Who is the other person who is doubtless better than me? WHO is killing you?!!! Why -” her face crumpled and she tried to stifle a sob. “Why is it never me?”

“Astrid-”

“No!” she wailed. “You don’t understand! I was - you were my hope! It was supposed to work!! And all this time - all this time you were keeping this from me!”

“No, wait-”

“Who is it?” she demanded, grabbing the front of his shirt and his eyes fought to not flutter shut and imagine her kissing him. “I’ll storm over to them and demand they love you back-”

“That’s not necessary,” he assured her.

“You can’t die!” she exploded. “You’re not allowed! I’m not going to let you! Please! Live. If one of us has to go it should be me-”

“Hey,” Hiccup cupped her face, silencing her. “I - I know you don’t want me to die. And I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d feel bad and I want - I want you to be happy. I want you to make it out of this alive. Ever since - Even when I first met you I never wanted you to come back if it meant you were still alive. And every time you did, I wanted to cure you more and more. You have always been the one who deserves to live. And I - I had a crush on you, okay? I liked you so I was trying to help but then we became actual friends and - oh, this is so messed up,” he groaned.

She sank to the floor. “So the person you’re . . .” she trailed off.

“It’s you, Astrid,” he admitted, his eyes shut tightly. “I’m sorry.”

“Wh-”

“I know you already like someone else and you’re trying to get them to fall in love with you. I would never want to intrude on that.”

“Hiccu-”

“And I really didn’t want to offend you, because, I mean, who would want me? I’m just - it’s pathetic and I knew there was no hope so I didn’t want to worry you and-”

“HICCUP!” she shouted and he cringed. She grabbed him by the shirt again violently. “I’m going to need you to stop for one second because I just find it so incredibly rude that you think I wouldn’t be head over heels in love with you. You’re amazing! You’ve dedicated your life to helping people - strangers! And you’re smart and you’re funny and kind and handsome-” she broke off her rant with a wet laugh.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she asked, blinking back tears. “Why do you think I kept coughing more when you were around? Why - why do you think I told you about my plan to make a guy I’d been spending a lot of time with and had gotten feelings for to like me? Why do you think keeping the fact you were dying hurt me so much?”

Hiccup blinked.

“I love you, you stupid, dense brick of a man! I love you, Hiccup. I - I - I-” She smashed her lips onto his ferociously and his shoulders sagged in relief. Somehow - and he was most likely wrong - she had confessed her love for him and now they were kissing. This was beyond his wildest dreams - okay, maybe not his wildest - but, well, even if this was just a dream, why not take advantage of it? He brought a hand to cup the back of her head, tangling it in her golden hair and angling her face as she shifted herself into his lap on the floor.

“You love me?” he asked as they broke apart for air.

“You’re an idiot,” she snarled half heartedly, punching him in his left shoulder. But before he had time to wince she pulled him in for another kiss. Something loosened in his throat and suddenly all those petals that had been there, threatening to burst again seemed to disappear.

They were in a dark pantry, bloody flowers and wet paper towels littering the floor around them, and Hiccup was sure it was the most romantic scene he’d ever beheld.

~

“It worked,” Hiccup said, shaking his head in amazement as his pencil hovered above the journal’s page. “We actually transferred the Hanahaki subject to someone else. You were sick for me, not Eret.” How was it possible to feel smug about her having a deathly illness regarding him? He wouldn’t think it possible, but here he was.

“You were also sick,” Astrid reminded him. “It happened around the same time I decided to try to transfer it onto you.”

“What?” Hiccup exclaimed. “No way.”

“Yeah-huh,” Astrid nodded. “Coincidence? I think not.”

“You’re saying that in transferring the subject of your Hanahaki, so to speak, the disease infected the new subject too?”

“We are dealing with the unprecedented,” Astrid shrugged. “It’s entirely possible.”

“But I already had a crush on you,” Hiccup argued. “I just couldn’t admit it until I was spitting bloody flowers out.”

“Well, maybe it only affected you because you already had feelings for me,” she conceded. Her eyes sparkled. “But what we do know for sure is that we’ve successfully cured Hanahaki disease for someone else.” Hiccup’s head snapped up to meet hers.

“Do you know what this means?” he exclaimed, standing up from his chair to pace around the room.

“I think so,” she smiled softly.

“I mean,” he amended. “We were pretty lucky, it might not work again if the other person isn’t already in love, but -” he laughed disbelievingly.

“We have a cure for Hanahaki,” he repeated. “We can . . . people don’t have to die anymore.”

“As long as we pair them up well,” Astrid added. “Maybe we should add ‘matchmaking’ to our services.” Hiccup rolled his eyes at her teasingly.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to see next time.” Astrid grinned.

#hiccstridweek2024 #Day 7 #love #love confessions #Hanahaki au #hanahaki disease #Hiccstrid #Hiccstrid au #my writing #Hiccup Haddock #Astrid Hofferson #angst #tw: blood #tw: discussions of death #how to train your dragon #HTTYD #HTTYD au #HTTYD fanfiction #blue oleander

[sagidaviswrites]

A Little Selfish

Pairing: Nomad!Steve x Female! Reader

Summary: You and Steve have been close for as long as you could remember, sticking beside one another, no matter the circumstances. But one day, while on the run from the government, Steve catches your mind wandering during an important mission, that causes potential dangers, which doesn’t make him very happy. After a night of arguing, you both learn certain truths that were going to reveal themselves one way or another. 

Genre: Smutty, Smutty, Smutty, a lil fluff at the end

Warning: Smut (NSFW) - 18+ only please - unprotected sex, oral sex - female receiving, vaginal sex, bearded Steve 

A/N: I think we’ve all got the memo of how much I’m obsessed with arguments and make-up sex afterwards. It was a pretty good plot for Stephen Strange, so why not Nomad Steve Rogers? I’ve had this one-shot idea for about a few weeks now and after dealing with a frustrating case of writer’s block, I’m actually very, very proud of this one. Apologies if it’s fairly long, but I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do and please, please, please leave a comment or reblog! Love you guys <3

____________________________

Red imprints dug inside his calloused palms from gripping the steering wheel too hard, Steve’s blue eyes taking long moments to openly stare daggers at you in the backseat through the old, lopsided rearview mirror, before glancing at the deserted road ahead.

The usual sarcastic and humorous side of you took the liberty in staying discreet for the past few weeks, quietness and severe deep-thinking taking it's place fairly quickly.

Who could blame you though? A year of dodging the World Government left and right, bouncing from motel to motel, and a diet only consisting of TV dinners and vending machine snacks would do that to most people. You rested your forehead against the cool window, watching as raindrops against the glass slowly dissolved with the cool wind, avoiding his gaze.

You knew the man was upset with you; you could practically feel the anger radiating off of him as you sat behind the driver's seat.

Due to your recent distractions and mind-wandering, you could have blown the mission that had the possibility of getting you and your teammates killed or worse, ruined a year's worth of careful concealment.

It's not like you weren't apologetic... you were just exhausted.

But the former U.S. Army soldier didn't see it that way. For him, it was always a sense of never stop moving and doing what he strongly felt was right. The man was known for being independent and taking initiative, which was two of the most favorite things about him that you both respected and loved.

You just wished that he would take a moment to at least try to cut you, of all people, some slack.

You flickered your eyes quickly up toward the same mirror, praying that he was too busy paying attention on the road, and not at you. Luckily he was, eyes intently staring forward, his unshaven jaw tightly clenched in aggravation as Nat was giving him directions from the passenger seat.

But then again, you and Steve had always had a weird relationship. Of course, you didn't want to call it that, because in reality, it wasn't. It just left you confused most of the time. The two of you were beyond close, the start of the friendship dating back to when he first joined the Avengers after being plunged into the ice. You enjoyed his good sense of morality and how he was never afraid to be honest, while he loved your witty quips, along with your ability to see right through him.

Your relationship had consisted of the good things, from going on missions together and mending his wounds afterwards in your apartment bathroom, to falling asleep with one another on the couch, during the weekends, enjoying the day off from superhero duties. It also consisted of the not-so-good things, like when you hadn't shown up to work for two days straight, worrying the fuck out of him to the point where you woke up to the sound of pounding at your front door in the middle of the night and him calling out your full name, similar to what parents did when you were younger every time you got in trouble. What he thought would be a night of him playfully lecturing you for not showing up and disregarding the responsibilities of being a hero turned out to be him holding you in his arms instead, as you cried about the death of your father, which had happened the previous day.

And yet, throughout these entire years of your friendship, you two had never even kissed. Much to your dismay.

There was no way you could spend almost every day with a man, who has seen you at your absolute worst and has allowed himself to become your safe haven, without having some sort of budding feelings for him. 

You just didn’t like the thought of being rejected by him. 

So, you’ve never said anything pertaining to romance and neither did he. 

The car continuing to bump along the quiet street, you were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t notice Sam’s hand tightly gripping your knee, drawing you back to reality. 

“You good?” He asked in a low voice, most likely so that Steve wouldn’t hear him in the quiet vehicle. 

Too bad the man had enhanced senses. 

You simply gave him a tight smile, leaning your head against the seat. “Yea.”

“He’s just frustrated. Try not to take it so personal, alright?” 

His hand gave your leg a slight pat, before he shifted comfortably back into his spot, closing his eyes. 

Sam had a habit of being the one to do damage control when there were any kind of disruptions within the group, which it didn’t happen often, but it was good to have someone diffuse the situation when needed.

That’s why you knew his heart was always in the right place. 

Except for the fact that it did feel personal.

Especially with the painful lecture that was awaiting you.

__________________________________

Steve veered the stolen vehicle in front of the cheap motel, putting the station wagon in park and turning the engine off. Relief rushed inside your body like a waterfall, eager to escape the moving hellhole that was suffocating you the whole way here. Not to mention, Steve’s incessant stares were growing irritating by the second. 

Quickly slipping out of your seatbelt, you started to get out of the car with the others, your door accidentally making contact with Steve’s hard chest, due to his stupid attempt at trying to open it for you. He didn’t say anything, just held a hard gaze on you as you stepped out, ignoring him completely. 

Ironic how even in the midst of a growing argument, it didn’t stop him from being a gentleman towards you. 

After duffel bags were grabbed and divided from the trunk, Steve locked up, the four of you headed to the lit-up lobby before the rain had a chance to pick up. Walking up to the welcome desk, Steve greeted the old hotel attendant respectfully. “Hi. I would like to check into two rooms please? Whatever you have available will be just fine.”

The lady gave him a wrinkly smile, accepting the wad of cash that he gave her in exchange for two room keys. You suddenly grew impatient, sick of watching Steve’s smile, pushing in front of him to snatch one of the keys off the counter and turning to walk down the hall. Glancing down, you mumbled the room number under your breath. 

Room ten. First floor, thank God.

“Y/N.” Steve’s deep voice echoed down the hallway behind you, but you didn’t dare turn around. 

You just wanted to take a hot shower and go the fuck to bed. 

Finally making it to the room, you struggled with the key for a few minutes, Steve coming up in your peripheral vision. 

Shit. You just wanted to be left alone. 

Finally able to get the key correctly inside of the lock, you jiggled the door handle until it opened, rushing inside and throwing your bag on the single bed against the wall. In situations like these, you never minded the hotel rooms that had only one bed because you never minded sharing one with Steve. You felt safe and content with his warmth beside you every night, your back against his front as he held you close. 

But today, you needed some fucking distance. That he unfortunately wasn’t wanting to give you.

Before the door could click shut, Steve slammed his hand against it, closing the door behind him. “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“Steve, I can’t do this with you tonight.” You winced tiredly, roughly searching through your clothes for something to sleep in. “Just please go sleep with Nat or Sam, and then you can lecture me all you want in the morning.” 

The grown man crossed his arms across his chest, his long-sleeve shirt lifting in the process. “We need to talk about this right now.” 

“Talk about fucking what? There’s nothing to talk about than what you already said to me in the car, Steve.” You exclaimed, throwing your clothes on the bed and looking at him. “It was a mistake that I have apologized multiple times for, so can we please just drop it?” 

“No, I’m not going to drop it. Because that mistake that you’re talking about could have gotten us easily infiltrated or even killed you! You weren’t focused and completely disregarded your Captain’s orders.” He spoke firmly, his words making your head pound as you continued to go through your things, blatantly ignoring him. 

Ah, so now he was just casually throwing out military titles as if you guys were just colleagues, and nothing more.

Fucking great.

“Y/N. I’m talking to you.” 

“And I told you to drop it until tomorrow, but like always, Captain America doesn’t know how to fucking take the word no.” 

Your slick comment made him silent for a moment, placing his hands against his hips and taking a long exhale, while his eyes bore into the side of your face. 

“Do you even care? Do you even care about why we’re doing this?” He began in a low voice, which caused you to stare up at the ceiling and laugh harshly at his ridiculous question. 

“Oh my god Steve. Do I care? Seriously?” 

“Yes, it’s a genuine question, do you care? Because you have been distracted for the past few months and you won’t even come to me and talk about it, despite all of my efforts.” He glared at you, growing angrier by the second. 

“Because I don’t want to talk to you about it.” You answered, shaking your head.

“Really? You don’t want to talk to me about it?” 

You paused, letting out a sigh. You could tell how hurt he was by your unwillingness, but you didn’t want it to lead to another pointless argument. You already felt like shit and you just wanted to rest to find some sort of solitude and temporarily forget about your growing problems.

“No, I don’t.” 

“Because I thought we meant more to each other than to keep secrets.” 

“I’m tired!” You admitted, throwing your hands up in the air in aggravation. “I’m tired, Steve. I’m tired of being on the run. Not having a steady place to call home… it’s hard.”

Your words hung in the air silently as you stared at one another, you finally being able to let them out of the restriction they had against you for so long... only they weren’t good enough for the super soldier standing in front of you with an unreadable expression. 

“Then you should have said no when I asked you to come with me.” 

A lump formed suddenly in your throat, watching him run his hand through his blonde hair that he decided to grow out right above his shoulders and shake his head with his eyes closed. As if he was the one getting chewed out here.

You weren’t sure why but his sentence stung you to your core, not missing the slight bite in his tone as he said it.

“It sounds a lot like you wanted me to say no.” You tried to keep your voice steady in order to sound more in control of your feelings, but you could already feel the process of tears forming.

“You know that’s not how I meant it, Y/N-“

“I have backed you up in almost everything you have stood up for Steve.” You raised your voice, disregarding the way his muscular arms flexed in his shirt as he leaned them against the dresser with his head down. “Busting my ass in DC and going against the people I have worked alongside with for years in order to be there for you. Same with Germany. And I didn’t do it out of pity o-or because I felt manipulated or whatever the stupid ass reasoning your mind is trying to conjure up right now. I did it because you’re important to me.”

He angrily slammed his hands on the piece of furniture. “You don’t think I already know that?”

“Well fucking act like it!” You yelled at him, walking over to the bed to grab your things and stomping to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you.

Steve just stood there in the quiet room, staring at particularly nothing as the faint sound of the shower running rang inside of his ears.

He hadn’t meant to upset you so much.

It just hurt hearing you say how exhausted you were with the kind of life you guys lived right now. And it was because of him. His incessant need to stand by what he knows is right. Just because he was willing to risk his role in society and what people thought of him didn’t mean that you were. He had just assumed so when you agreed to go with him.

Sighing to himself, he made the decision to sit in the armchair in the room, waiting for you to get done with your shower.

You guys had come to far for him to lose you over one argument.

He wouldn’t allow that.

Half of an hour had slowly passed of Steve resting his eyes, his head leaned against his palm, when the sound of the shower shut off, alerting his senses. He stood up, giving you a few minutes to put on whatever you were sleeping in tonight(you’d physically kill him if he walked in on you naked again), listening in through the barrier between you two.

Once he felt like it was all clear, he turned the doorknob, opening the door slowly, his eyes greeted to the sight of you standing over the sink with your eyes closed, your body in a short slip dress.

Fuck, you were perfect.

Much to his surprise, you didn’t scream for him to leave or try to push him away when he shut the door closed, resting his back against it and taking a deep breath.

But that’s how you usually were. You hated conflict because it would drain almost everything out of you.

“I hate arguing with you.” He muttered, scratching the side of his beard.

You let out a dry laugh, your wet hair sticking to your face. “Funny, seeing that we don’t normally do it at all.”

“I know. That’s why I hate it when it does happen.”

All you could do was remain quiet, both of you standing in peaceful silence over the unspoken fact that neither of you meant for things to go the way that they did. He knew that he had overreacted when he could have easily just been there for you and actually listened. Of course being on the run was a struggle, for all of you. But he never realized how much of a toll it took on you.

When all he had to do was ask.

Guilt coursed through his veins as he stepped closer to you, grabbing your waist and placing a soft kiss on the top of you head. The smell of shea butter soap that the motel provided went up his nostrils as he inhaled your scent, calming him down a little.

It’s not like both of you hadn’t cuddled or held each other’s hands before, but something about the way he touched you right now… it was different.

You relaxed in his arms, trying hard not to overanalyze the amount of grip his hands had on your body and to just enjoy that you two had forgiven each other.

“I should have let you decide for yourself. To come with me or not.” He said quietly, pressing his forehead against the back of your hair. “Maybe then, I wouldn’t feel so guilty right now.”

“I would have gone with you either way, Steve-“

“Once the morning comes, we can find some place for you to settle down in when we head back to the quinjet. Where no one would look for you.” He interrupted quickly, his thoughts racing. “You could start a new life, be a new person… wouldn’t have me holding you back.”

Quickly turning around in his arms, you cradled his face in your hands, making him look you in the eye. “And none of that would matter, because I’d have nobody to share it with.”

Your hands were warm on his skin. He liked it.

“I was selfish.” He whispered, never leaving eye contact with you.

His beard was soft in between your fingers, stroking your thumb very close to his pink, plump lips.

He was always trying to do the “right thing” all of the time. And you knew that his heart was in the right place, but that wasn’t the point at all.

“You have spent your entire life thinking about everybody else and what makes them happy… laying down your life to protect the world and everyone in it. I think you’re allowed to be a little selfish.” You explained, but he just shook his head, studying where his hands laid.

“Not with you. I could never be selfish with you.”

In that tender moment, you weren’t sure what to say — just smiled softly at him while the man pulled you in a hug, nuzzling his face inside of your neck. Closing your eyes, you didn’t miss the way the material of your night dress gathered through his rough fingers, causing the length to lift up above your exposed thighs. Your breath hitched in your throat as you shivered, Steve’s lips and hot pants ghosting over your skin, both of you just standing there basking in each other’s warmth. Your hands gripped his covered biceps, while his began to explore along your body — raising along your lower back and back down over your ass.

Fuck.

“Steve.” You whispered into his neck, completely lost in the feeling of wanting. Wanting him and only him.

You had dreamt of this scenario a thousand times in your head, in different settings and times and none of them even came close to what was happening right now.

“Hmm?” He hummed mindlessly, beginning to place soft kisses against the side of your throat, his hands gently kneading your ass. You let out a breathless moan at his actions, igniting the hunger that he’s spent years constantly pushing down out of respect for you.

Not anymore.

His innocent pecks grew dangerously erotic, using his left hand to press you harder against him and the right to steady the side of your face as he sucked bruises into the skin. Your throaty moans beside his ear encouraged him to keep going, licking, biting, marking you in the way that he always wanted.

He’s always wanted this. You.

Waiting until he was satisfied with the hickey, he pulled you back, holding your face in his hands as he gazed down at you. Your mouth was open from panting, staring at him with dazed eyes.

You were so beautiful this way.

“Tell me to stop right now and I’ll stop.” He ordered breathlessly, moving strands of hair away from your face. “Otherwise, I’m taking you right here on this sink and doing things to you that I have been imagining over and over again ever since DC.”

You stared up at his fiery blue eyes, drunk off the way he assaulted your neck and touched your body.

He’s been wanting you since DC? The same way that you did. You both just didn’t have enough balls to admit it out loud to one another.

“I love you-“ You confessed, not even able to get a breath in before Steve swallowed up your sentence, lips pressed against yours passionately. His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, begging for entrance which you gladly gave to him, detaching his hands from your face so that you could wrap your arms around his neck, wanting him closer. He decided to take the other pair of cheeks in his hands, grinding himself against your sensitive core. Cursing under your breath, you felt yourself getting wetter by the second from his doings, pleasure filling your body.

Steve gave you one last peck before his lips traveled to your throat, cleavage, and down to your bare thighs, the man lowering to his knees in front of you. He stared at you intently, watching you watch him leave open-mouth kisses along your thighs, gnawing on your bottom lip.

He was so… in control and dominant with you and you couldn’t take it. This man has had a hold on you for so long and you finally were embracing it.

His eyes were still on yours as his fingers took ahold of each side of your thong, sliding it down your cold legs. Only then did he glance down at it, smirking at the wet stain that accompanied them.

“Steve.” You whined, not wanting to hear whatever smug comment he had to get out of his system. You couldn’t stand the loss of his warmth any longer.

He set them on the floor beside him, lifting up your dress so that he was facing what was waiting for him. “You know it kills me knowing how wet you must have been, laying beside me those nights we would sleep together, too scared to even speak up about it.”

“You didn’t tell me either.” You retorted back before you gasped, feeling him lick your folds, his facial hair tickling your inner thighs. He simply grinned at your response, loving the feeling of your fingers pulling at his long hair, urging him to keep going.

You tasted like heaven.

Your arousal drenched his tongue as he dug deeper, bumping into your clit. Both of his hands held your hips steady against the counter, in fear of your legs giving out on you by the way they trembled in pleasure. He could almost feel you getting closer, the grip you had on his hair tightened each time, your breath quickening. In response, he suddenly stopped and got up, his name falling from your lips in frustration, giving him enough time to lift you by the thighs, setting you roughly on the edge of the sink.

Pushing his sweatpants and boxers down, he pulled you closer to his chest, convincing himself that you were too far away from him.

He needed you now.

You leaned up and kissed him, tasting yourself on his tongue before Steve hungrily nipped your bottom lip in the process, allowing your hands to grip the edge of his shirt and lift it over his head. The shirt was carelessly tossed on the floor, Steve cupping your pussy to make sure you were still ready for him.

Of course, you were.

He took his hard cock in his hand, pumping it and slowly pushing the head against the sensitive nerves. You watched as he did it, completely aroused by the way it was slowly disappearing inside of you. But he didn’t give you the satisfaction, thrusting hard against you, fitting himself all in one move. You moaned loudly, throwing your head back and holding onto him for dear life.

He was compelled by the feeling of you clenching around him… but he couldn’t stop staring at you. The way your body matched his perfectly, bouncing up and down to meet his thrusts, your nails digging into his back every single time he hit the spot you enjoyed the most, his name sounding like a prayer as you repeated it over and over again.

You were his. You always had been.

It just took time to actually admit it to himself.

“I love you too, you know. I always have.” He panted, driving into you faster.

Those words made you open up your eyes to look at him, a smile ghosting over your lips with nothing but adoration in your eyes.

He took his hand and placed it on the mirror behind you, using the hard surface to go deeper. Overwhelmed by the pleasure that was budding inside of your stomach, you lifted your head and hide your face in his neck.

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart.” Steve moaned, never letting you go. “Tell me where you want this cum baby.”

“Oh god- fill me up Steve. Please, inside me.”

“Not until you do.” He whispered in your ear, panting. “Cum for me, cum for your Captain.”

You were already on the brink of that release but somehow his words, him commanding you sent you over the edge. A silent cry erupted from your throat as your orgasm ripped through you, the man still fucking you through your high. Not far behind you though, Steve grunted your name under his breath, using both of his hands to hold you close, shooting ropes of cum inside you like you had told him to do minutes before. You breathed heavily with your eyes cracked open, Steve resting his head on your shoulder.

Both of you were in pure bliss.

About five minutes had passed of you gathering your strength, Steve pulled his pants back on, holding you in place and turning the faucet on behind you. You were quiet as you watched him search for a small towel, soaking it in warm water and wiping you from the mess he had made.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” He said after a few moments, pulling your dress down. “I overreacted.”

You couldn’t stop a yawn from escaping your mouth, your exhaustion catching up to you. “You didn’t. You were worried and scared about me.”

“You’re right, I was.” He agreed, caressing your face. “I couldn’t lose my best girl.”

Smiling at the usual name he called you, you yawned again, making him lightly chuckle.

“Alright, I’ve exhausted you enough. You need to rest.”

Lifting you up in his arms, he carried you out of the bathroom and to the queen-sized bed, laying you down on the mattress and covering you up. It didn’t take him long to check the door and switch the lights off, climbing into the bed next to you, holding your body against his just like all of the other times.

Only this time, he followed your advice and got to be selfish, just once, in all of his years of living on this earth.

Because he wanted you, and both of you thought that he damn well deserved it.

#steve rogers #nomad!steve x reader #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #chris evans #marvel

[strvngbones]

i just hate having the false impression that i can open up about my ed with a friend (specially if it’s a girl)

last semester i made a really good friend at uni, i still feel like she is the first best friend i’ve ever had and we have the strongest connection…

but

the other day things were just unbearable and i really needed someone to talk to. ended up telling her about my ed, but couldn’t come with the courage to actually tell the hole truth, instead i said that i already recovered and it was just a “relapse” i was having that month and it really fucked my brain 💀. the lie didn’t prevent the cliché from happening… she found a way to make it about her

and out of the blue started acting all weird about food

she used to eat like a fuckng pig and never ever ever skipped any meals before that, like… she was so serious about her “diet” being fulfilling cause she is a fighter and exercises a lot so she always eats a bunch of carbs and all

she still eats like a pig, and she gets so angry when trying to not eat like me, she is not used to it and we have different body needs at these point… but my point is, she started to weirdly try to copy this one shitty disorder like all the pain i told her it “caused” me wasn’t important or even relevant

also the competition vibes i’ve been feeling coming from her is just so annoying that i kinda stopped enjoying her company like i used to…

never ever ever tell a friend about your ed, just keep it to yourself, this will happen to you cause it always happens to girls that commit the same mistake i did !!!!

#ana mia #moodboard #anna miaa #tw ana shit #ana trigger #tw ana diary #disordered eating mention #tw ed diet #b0nesp0

[thots-n-prayrs]

I am depressed and bored and trying something new.

I have never journaled. Ever. I just don’t have the drive, or the ability to do something consistently. My life has been a series of hyperfixations that burn out and are soon replaced by brand new hyperfixations, so consistency is just...not my thing.

But I guess now that I have the itch to write, I will.

The whole point of doing it on Tumblr is that I’m screaming into the abyss and I know it. I don’t need a response. I don’t even need for this to be acknowledged, much less actually read. I just want to write it, but I don’t want to keep a running document on Google and I don’t have my own computer right now to keep shit like this on.

I’ve been in a weird state since at least Sunday. Months ago, my wife printed out the “how s*icidal are you” scale my therapist gave me and put it on the fridge so I could move a magnet up and down as my depression ebbs and flows. This probably happened because of one or two incidents where I was s*icidal and didn’t even tell my wife until it passed, and I freaked out, broke down crying, and told her I what I had been feeling and planning.

Sunday-ish, my mental state jumped from where it hovers, around three (”I wish I was d*ead”) to five (”I want to k*ll myself.”) Five is not yet cause for concern. Six is where you should start to get worried. Seven is where you should be more worried. Eight is where you should probably call my therapist or the hospital, because nine or ten is extremely bad.

Well, it hasn’t gone back down. I’ve hovered right here, unusually high, for days. It’s really strange and kind of awkward being in the stage of ideation where you’re thinking about it but not planning. It’s impossible to honestly answer a “how are you.” And, it’s uncouth to tell your co-workers, “Yeah, so, I’m struggling a lot with x, y and z because I am actively fighting my own brain just to stay alive.”

“Stay alive” meaning I don’t want to move any higher up on the scale. Ideally, we move down.

So the problem is that I don’t really know how to move it down. Historically, I have one big cataclysmic breakdown, and then when it subsides, I’m somewhat better. I drift back down to a three. The problem with whatever this is is that it won’t seem to hit the crescendo and subside like it has before. I’m just...here. Like this. Trying so hard to hold myself together -- which isn’t going great since this particularly bad depressive episode is affecting everything. It’s affecting work quite badly. I’m making mistakes I would have never normally made. I’m forgetting everything, even if I write it down. It’s overall going pretty poorly.

(My therapist, my wife and myself made a crisis plan, by the way. My stupid brain found ways around it.)

And all I can really do is remind myself that my wife doesn’t deserve to be widowed. Papa doesn’t deserve to bury another family member way too young -- least of all his own child. Nobody deserves the ridiculously high expenses of a funeral and a burial or cremation.

The other thing I keep reminding myself is that this bad haircut is going to grow out. My hair grows fast. It will be worth watching it grow back to a length I like. It will be worth having cut and styled in a way I actually like it.

My health goals are worth pursuing. I gained weight again when I stopped working a physical job. It’s totally worth learning to exercise without accidentally injuring myself. It’s worth watching myself get slim again, and maybe trying to build muscle like I always wanted to. The only issue with all this is my body, because, well. Chronic pain and fatigue. But one of the ways people deal with fibromyalgia is exercise and changing to a healthier diet.

It’s all worth pursuing, and I can sort of see it in some moments, but then it vanishes and I get lost in the now. Well, right now I’m overweight. Now I’m tired and in pain. Now my hair is ugly (to me).

I’ll be fine in the end. It’s just hard right now. I’m not going to k*ll myself, don’t worry. If I were planning that, I wouldn’t be writing this -- I would be planning or executing...horrible, horrible joke, yikes.

#screamingintothevoid

[tuituipupu]

cw ?? food mention below;

#i’ve made major changes to my diet the past week cause my skin is not the move UH #it’s so weird I’ve never been on an actual diet cause I’ve always had a healthy weight #I don’t eat tonnes but what I do it is not good for my body #I’ve cut chocolate fizzy drinks chips (fries) and crisps (didn’t rly eat those anyway) from my diet #oh and hot drinks I only have one a day. #I’ve had medication for my skin before but it’s expensive and I think I should try and change the healthy basics first #then go back to tablets if that doesn’t work. #like I haven’t been diagnosed with actual acne but my skin is like… not good. it’s super oily. #but yeah my new weird diet thing I’m sticking to well tbh #eating more fruit daily drinking 3+ bottles of water a day #cause I always forget to drink water woopsies. #it’s just weird feeling like I’m on a diet but I hope I can keep this up #I feel like I should have done this ages ago but eh better late than never ?? #oily skin besties rise up #personal #laura rants #I miss chocolate tho lmao whine whine. #food

[laladellakang]

She’s No Robot

enhypen 8th female member masterlist

wattpad | open requests / ask enhypen!

taglist! @hoonstrology @jaetint @afiaaaa19 @1-800-enhypenbibi @studioreader @woopetals @sarang-wonie @sleepyenhasasha @ilyxion​ @toriluvsfics @i90snoo @fairydosii @danyxthirstae01 @seulgifted​ @clar-iii

2021.12.19

(italics dialogue = english)

requested!

della sick episode

della passing out after practice

i'm not sure if there are any warnings?? maybe vomiting

"Della, you need to put more power in your moves," the choreographer commented.

This month is hectic. It's award show and festival season, which means lots of special performances. We're currently practicing for the one for MAMA.

"Yes, I'm sorry," I bowed.

I don't know what happened but I've been feeling really unwell. I haven't been eating much (I know- shocker) from constant nausea, I'm easily tired and my head keeps spinning.

The boys know about it but not to what extent. I guess they thought that it's just my normal type of 'feeling extra tired.' I have been trying really hard to hide it anyway.

I haven't been this sick in like.. five years maybe. The last time was during my first month of professional badminton training.

Actually no- there was that time when I got COVID. But besides that, five years ago, definitely.

"You're not normally like this, you're usually one of the most energetic," the choreographer furrowed their eyebrows.

Heeseung walked beside me and placed a hand on my back as I bent down to put my hand on my knees.

"Della, are you okay?" he asked. I could hear the worry in his voice.

"She has been really pale lately," Jake pointed out. "She keeps saying that she's fine."

"Can someone get her water?" the choreographer asked the boys, placing a hand on my back as well. "Have you eaten?" I shook my head. "You haven't eaten?!"

"Didn't you say you ate with Sungho-hyung?!" Jay exclaimed and got close to me. [sungho = their manager who della's really close with]

"I only got six bites in," I let out.

Just as I said that, I felt a large wave of nausea hit me and felt something making it's way up my throat.

Shit- I'm so sorry guys. I hope you don't think that I'm being too rude.

I pushed everyone off me and sprinted to the bathroom at the back to let it all out. I knew that I would've vomited there if I had said a word.

"Della?!" "Lala!" Jake and Sunghoon were the first to arrive with Jake holding my hair up and Sunghoon rubbing my back as I kept going.

"Oh my god," I heard other people coming in.

"Shit- why is she vomiting so much?" I could hear the panic is Jay's voice.

I finally stopped and Sunghoon handed me a piece of toilet paper to wipe my mouth while Jake flushed the toilet.

Suddenly I could barely hear anything. I knew that someone was talking but I couldn't make up the words and my head felt soo dizzy.

Is this what it feels like to faint? Cool.

third person point of view

"Shit!" Jake exclaimed when Della fell on him. "Della?! Della?!" he shook her and looked at the members with wide eyes when she didn't respond.

"Shit! Bring her to the couch!" The choreographer ordered.

Everyone made their way out while Jake carried Della to the sofa.

"No wonder.. Her moves are always so powerful but they've been a lot weaker recently," the choreographer shook his head as he fanned Della with the piece of paper in his hand.

"She doesn't have a fever though, thankfully," Jungwon put a hand on Della's forehead. "Her temperature was normal earlier too."

"I'm gonna call your managers, give me a sec," the choreographer announced before leaving the room.

"I just realised how skinny she's gotten," Sunoo commented, observing his girlfriend with sad eyes.

"No cause she gained a bit of weight and now she's back to how she was a couple of months ago. That's why you don't really realise," Sunghoon explained. "Can you help me sit her up a bit? I wanna tie her hair."

"I knew that Lala not eating much was weird," Riki muttered. "I thought that she was dieting."

"Lala never diets though, she loses weight too easily. She needs to eat a lot," Jungwon said as he helped Sunghoon with sitting Della up. "Wait- what if she was dieting and didn't tell us?!" he looked at the members with wide eyes.

"Fuck- why would she diet?! Her body is perfect as is," Jay hasn't stopped fanning her with the choreographer's piece of paper. "Lala, why.."

"I mean- it could just be because she feels nauseous so she lost her appetite," Sunoo said. "I don't think Lala will ever diet and if she does, she wouldn't diet in that kind of way."

"She's so skinny," Jake mumbled with a small pout, running his fingers on Della's thigh.

"Lala," Riki pouted and hugged Della's legs. "She must be so tired."

"For someone like Della to reach a point like this?" Heeseung stroked her hair. "She must be dead tired."

"To be honest, I didn't think that we'll ever see her reach this point, knowing how strong she is," Jay was staring at her face. "But then again, she's no robot."

della's point of view

'Feel like Cinderella, 내가 변해,' the song was oddly on my mind as I was gaining consciousness.

"Hyung, why are you playing with Della's octopus?" I heard Jay chuckle.

"You know- this octopus is so cool. It really is so cute how she switches it up depending on her mood," Heeseung's voice came next.

"You find everything she does cute," Sunoo called out. It sounds like he was in another room.

"Don't worry, Sunoo-ya. You're also really cute," Heeseung assured.

"She's been out for so long now," I heard Riki mumble. I have also now just realised that there was something on my stomach. It felt like a head and I'm guessing that it's Riki's.

"I, Jake Potter, will use my magic to wake Ms. Kang Della up," okay, that fully brought me back. "Kang Della.. Wake up!"

Let me tease him a bit. I'm not gonna wake up just yet.

"Della is a princess, though. Maybe she'll wake up with kiss," Sunghoon said next. Yeah I'll wake up with that one.

I felt a pair of lips softly touch mine and opened my eyes.

"It actually worked!" Jay exclaimed.

The boys all gathered near my face, startling me a little.

"Ya, guys- Give her some air," Heeseung said while backing up as well.

Ah, I'm at home. Lying on my bed.

"Drink some water," Jungwon brought me a glass of water with a bent straw so I could drink while still laying down.

"Poor baby. You must be thirsty," Jay said endearingly as he stroked my hair. I finished the glass in one go.

"What happened?" Jungwon asked, placing the cup on my desk.

"I don't know, maybe I was too tired. I've been feeling very nauseous so I haven't been eating much and I guess my body had enough earlier," I closed my eyes and hummed at the feeling of Jay's fingers in my hair.

"We thought that you were dieting or something and the tiredness mixed with that was too much," Riki said. I was right; his head was the one who was rested on my abs.

"Noo, you know I can't do that," I played with his hair. "I've lost weight, yeah?"

"You've lost so much! We bought you a lot of food!" Sunoo said, holding up two bags.

"Seolleongtang, tteokbokki and we have 'Mom is an Alien,'" Jake locked arms with Heeseung.

"Are you still nauseous?" Sunghoon asked as he ran his fingers up and down my calf.

"No, I'm actually feeling great. Really hungry, but great," I let out a small smile. "I think all I need was that vomit and rest- by the way, I'm so sorry for interrupting practice. Did I miss any-"

"Nope! No apologising and no talking about work! You rest up, we'll worry about it tomorrow," Jake cut me off.

"Our baby is hungry! I wanna feed her!" Riki got up to grab the utensils.

"Ya Niki! I wanna feed her! It was my idea to order seolleongtang and tteokbokki!" Sunoo called out to him.

"Riki can feed me the seolleongtang, you can feed me tteokbokki," I resolved with a small giggle. "Let's eat guys-"

"No! No walking! You might fall!" Heeseung stopped me with wide eyes. "I'll carry you."

"No! What are you reaching for? The remote? I'll do it for you- what do you wanna watch?" Sunghoon grabbed for the remote after Heeseung sat me down on the sofa.

"Play Cat & Dog, please," an idea suddenly popped into my head.

Okay- let's see if they'll stop me from doing this too.

"Actually, I need to go to the toil-"

"No no no, I'll take you!" all four guys of the hyuppa line offered.

#kang della #8th member of enhypen #enhypen 8th member #enhypen added member #enhypen eigth member #enhypen female addition #enhypen female member #enhypen ff #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen x oc #enhypen oc #enhypen female oc #enhypen poly fic #enhypen poly #kpop oc #kpop added member

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Late Night Talks

Summary: After a long hunt, the reader and Dean grab a late dinner on the road. Dean notices the reader not eating much and calls her out on her recent eating habits when he gets concerned about the road she’s on...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Square: Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 1,900ish

Warnings: language, discussion of disordered eating & eating disorders, fluff

A/N: Written for @supernatural-jackles​ Tell Me A Story Bingo! 

______

“I read this article earlier,” said Dean as he popped a french fry into his mouth. You were about five hours from home, eating a midnight dinner at some tiny little diner on the side of the road after a successful but exhausting ghoul hunt.

“Mhm,” you hummed, picking at a brussel sprout on your plate. 

“It was on disordered eating,” he said, picking up a piece of bacon that’d fallen onto his plate and eating it.

“You mean eating disorders,” you said, stabbing into the sprout and eating it before you went back to your dicing up your chicken tenderloin.

“No this was something different. It’s like, how some people shift into having an eating disorder, like pre disorder I guess.”

“So...was there something interesting in this article?” you asked, picking up a piece of chicken and taking a bite.

“Actually yeah,” he said. You chewed and took a few bites before he set the burger down and wiped off his hands. “It was about how there’s dangers involved with disordered eating since it could turn into something all consuming, like a full on eating disorder.”

“Well that sounds kinda obvious,” you said. 

“Well it was about how stuff like skipping meals, limiting your calories too much, saying some foods are good and others are bad, that stuff over time can really start to mess with your head and lead to that compulsion of being obsessed with food and weight.”

“Isn’t that just common sense,” you said. He hummed and you ate another piece of chicken before pushing the plate away. “I don’t know about you but I’m full.”

“Yeah, it is common sense,” he said. You raised an eyebrow and he pulled out his phone, tapping on it for a moment before spinning it around, showing you a number.

“Are you tracking my fucking calories?” you said.

“Oh geez, Y/N. Maybe cause you hit every red flag in that article I read and I got concerned. There’s no humanly possible way you’re full when you’ve eaten a whopping 800 calories today. You’re starving yourself.”

“I’m not hungry today, weirdo,” you said. 

“You were slow on that hunt and we both know why. You’ve been doing this for weeks really extremely and honestly, since I’ve met you.”

“I’m on a diet. You know that.”

“You’re on the ‘I’m fucking up my metabolism’ diet. Ah, that one’s a classic,” he said.

“Back off. I am not hungry lately is all.”

“Eat this,” he said, sliding his plate in front of you. He took your plate and started eating, staring at you. “Eat the burger.”

“I said-”

“Take one bite.”

“I’m not hungry,” you growled.

“Then take a bite and spit it out.” You picked up the burger, covered in cheese, bacon, peppers and a sauce that smelled so good. You swallowed and put it down, Dean shaking his head.

“Dean. I’m just not hungry.”

“Why won’t you take a bite?” he asked. You sighed and closed your eyes. “Y/N.”

“Because I’ll want to eat the whole thing and this has to be a thousand calories and I can’t eat that much, Dean. I’m on a diet.”

“Today I’ve seen you have three cups of coffee, a banana, and half of a small piece of chicken and a few brussel sprouts. You need to eat.”

“I need to lose weight.”

“For what?”

“I’m overweight.”

“Because a little stupid calculator online said so? So another stupid little calculator tells you how much food you’re allowed a day? But maybe you’re having a bad day so you tell yourself you don’t deserve to have even all of that already restricted food? So you make it even smaller to the point of, hm, what’s that word, disordered eating?”

You stared down at your lap and heard him get up, sliding into the booth beside you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you looked out the window.

“I do need to lose weight Dean. It’s true. I’m not supposed to be this big.”

“What are you supposed to be then?”

“Like that waitress. She’s small and thin. She’s healthy.”

“I see,” he said. She was working behind the counter, no one else in the place aside from a man at the other end and the cook. “Excuse me miss?”

She popped her head up and walked over with a tired smile.

“Can we get another bacon cheeseburger? And a big bowl of that ice cream sundae?” he asked.

“You got it,” she said, writing it down.

“One more thing,” said Dean. “Do you like the way you look?”

“Excuse me?” she said.

“Dean, shut up,” you said. “Please ignore him.”

“I mean, are you happy with your body? Do you eat whatever you want, wear whatever you want, never worry a second about what goes in it or how it looks? You’re a beautiful woman but what do you actually think of yourself?”

She was quiet for a few moments before she noticed the swapped plates in front of you.

“You know when you first asked that, I thought, you were being creepy. I get creepy guys in here a lot late at night. The cook is a big guy but it happens. I know I’m small. I wish I was stronger. I wish I looked like she does. I’m something that looks like they’d snap in the wind. She’s strong and has an ass and curves. She’s not a rectangle with no curves or chest. She doesn’t look like a guy. I wish I wasn’t so delicate but I don’t think I can change that much.”

“Probably not so much,” said Dean. “But I hear weight training is good for muscle building. Creeps are always creeps but might help to be able to deck ‘em.”

“Yeah. I’ll go put that order in for you guys,” she said with a smile. Dean turned his head back to you after she went through the double doors.

“Funny. You want her body. She wants yours,” he said. 

“She doesn’t know I’m overweight.”

“She doesn’t know how damn strong you are. Her body? She was right. She is delicate and it’d be a safe idea for her to put on some muscle given her job. You though? You I’ll worry to death over no matter what. But you’re missing the most glaring thing of all.”

“What?”

“You just said she doesn’t know you’re overweight. She doesn’t know how much you weigh. If she doesn’t know how does anyone know? Why does a number on a scale matter? Health does, don’t get me wrong, but care more about what your body can do than what size pants you fit in. It’s all bullshit anyways. You can be a small one place or a triple XL somewhere else. You can have a normal chest but be told it’s too big or too small by a different brand. I just don’t want to see you going down a path towards something worse where you’re hurting yourself.”

“I’d never hurt myself, Dean.”

“If your body is hungry and you don’t feed it, you’re hurting it. I’m talking about you’re cold, you’re starving, you have no energy, you feel like crap. But you won’t eat, not until it gets a little worse because you think you can take it because you’ve taken it before. That’s hurting yourself and you hurt yourself a lot sweetheart.”

You looked down and swallowed, taking a deep breath.

“I’m really cold right now,” you said quietly. “I’m tired of always being so fucking cold.”

“Eat,” he said, tugging his plate closer to you. “I’ll order you some soup too. That’ll warm you up.”

He took off his jacket and wrapped it over your shoulders. He kissed your cheek and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“I’ve been like this for years, Dean. I don’t know how people eat normally anymore.”

“I know. You probably fucked up your metabolism but we can unfuck it up too. You can be healthy but this, this isn’t healthy. I’ll do it with you but you gotta promise me you won’t starve yourself anymore.”

“I’ll try,” you said.

“I’ll take trying to start with,” he said. “I’m gonna order that soup. Eat up for me sweetheart. You’ll feel better soon. I promise.”

One Month Later

“Y/N!” shouted Dean from the kitchen as you walked past. “You eat lunch yet?”

“No,” you said. 

“Are you hungry?”

“A little. I was waiting for you to get done with Baby,” you said.

“What’d you eat so far?” he asked.

“I had a cup of coffee and a protein bar and for lunch I’m having one of those greek wraps I like,” you said. “Satisfied?”

“I’d prefer if you had two wraps or a wrap and snack with it,” he said. You grumbled and he sighed. “Y/N. You said I could take the lead on this.”

“I’m gaining weight,” you said.

“Yeah cause you aren’t eating what a toddler does in a day anymore which is perfectly healthy for a grown woman. I know it’s only been a month but you have so much more energy, you sleep better, you have less nightmares. Your skin looks amazing. So gain a few pounds, gain more than a few, let’s fix your metabolism and then we’ll start working out a little and we’re not gonna give a fuck how much we weigh at all and we’re gonna be the hottest fucking couple in this neighborhood I swear.”

“I like not feeling cold anymore,” you said with a small smile, Dean walking over and rubbing your arms. “It’s just...hard sometimes to not...wait to eat until your stomach hurts from no food. I’m figuring out what being hungry is again.”

“It’s gonna take some time but your body will learn again. We just gotta be extra nice to it right now while it recovers,” he said. “And then we’ll always be nice to it, right?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I promise.”

“So, one wrap or two?” he asked, opening the fridge.

“One. I’ll save the other for tomorrow. But maybe I’ll have some pita chips and hummus with it?” you asked.

“That sounds yummy,” he said. “I think I’ll have that myself.”

“You don’t have to eat my diet Dean,” you said.

“I could do with being nicer to my own body myself,” he said. “After lunch do you want to go for a walk? I have a sneaking suspicion the couple three blocks over are a pair of vamps.”

“That’s the guy with the skin condition, babe,” you said.

“Are you sure cause he got like a weird rash that one time.”

“It’s a condition,” you said with a smile. “But I would love to go for a walk with you while the day is still nice.”

“Sounds like a plan sweetheart,” he said, starting to take food out of the fridge. You walked over and gave him a hug from behind. 

“Thanks for saying something. Even if I tried pretending I was fine.”

“You’d do the same for me,” he said. “Come on, cutie. Let’s get some grub. I’m starving.”

________

#tell me a story bingo #supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #winchester #dean spn #spn fanfic #dean fanfic #dean x

[thebibliosphere]

Hi, Joy!! I have a quick question for you,,, I've been following your Chronic Health tag for a while, and have always kind of suspected POTS but was never sure,,, well, until I got a fitbit and my heartbeat shot up from 70 to 127 after standing up. So,,, I'll need to be seeing a doctor. But do you know what kind of treatments are suggested for it? Everything I see says like "various meds and exercise" but exercise seems counterproductive bc one of the symptoms is exercise intolerance. I dunno, I'm just hesitant to trust judgey doctors or vague websites, and would rather ask someone who actually HAS it.

Hey! Sorry to hear you might be dealing with POTS, it’s not a fun thing to contend with.

The main treatment for POTS is increasing your hydration and salt levels (1). This may come in the form of salt tablets, or naturally through your diet, depending on severity. I get salt tablets for my really bad days and manage it the rest of the time with salty snacks. My daily intake of electrolyte water* is between 2-4 liters a day, as recommended by my doctor. My minimum goal is 2 liters. If I don’t hit that marker, I’m going to start becoming symptomatic and my heart starts doing weird things to the tune of 165bpm while lying down. Which is also a thing. Lying down with your legs propped up to get the blood flow back up to your core is very much a thing a lot of fellow potsies will be all too familiar with.

Another thing is compression therapy. On bad days, I wear compression socks, and essentially what is a medical version of Spanx underwear lol. This helps to keep my blood in my core, and not rush to my legs, which means my heart doesn’t have to go a mile a minute to keep my blood pumping. If I know I’m going to be out the house and doing a lot of walking/standing, I will preemptively wear them, or make sure I’ve got them in my backpack.

This brings us to exercise. And the thing most online articles (and some absolutely shitty doctors) don’t mention about POTS and exercise is that it has to be incredibly gentle due to things like exercise intolerance. It’s taken me two years of rehabilitation and treatment, but I can now do 30 minutes straight on a reclined** exercise bike. This is a pittance compared to someone who used to go hiking up Scottish hills on the daily, but it’s a massive achievement for me now post-illness. I can also go for 30-minute walks in mild weather, provided there aren’t many hills. But running? Hell no. Even some of my physical therapy exercises are too much and have to be swapped out for gentler versions. I do a lot of my stretches and exercises while sitting down, and that’s perfectly acceptable. It’s about finding the level of exercise that is safe and accessible to you. Some folks find that they can get better enough to resume normal levels of exercise, and I still hope that one day I will. But it’s a slow process, and being gentle with myself is the only way I’m going to get there. And if I never do? Well, 30-minute walks are better than lying on the floor cause you stood up too quickly.

There are other medications that can be tried, like blood pressure meds. I’ve got zero experience with them because of my MCAS, but I do know some folks on here who have had good results with their blood pressure meds. But the first and foremost thing to do is make sure you’re hydrated and well-rested. They can really make a difference.

Also, just in general, people who don’t have POTS can experience those heart level numbers if they’re dehydrated. So y’know, this is a general reminder for everyone to take a sip, babes. 

Hope that helped!

*I use electrolyte water to avoid electrolyte imbalances, which can sometimes happen when you drink too much water (3).

**If you can exercise while reclined with POTS, this can help with the intolerance and is just also gentler and less likely to trigger an episode.

#chronic health tag #POTS #runnin-out-oftime

[muffindaddystyles]

My love I have read your almost all fics before but today for some reason I read almost I had read them again. What can I see I'm absolutely enamoured by each one of 'em 🌻🌻🌻.

My best wishes to you keep writing and keep prospering ✨

And for my request if you can write a blurb for the memory loss fic about them having a baby they talked about that would be really sweet 🥺 No pressure.

🌞 Anon

THANK YOUUU SM BUTTONS! YOUR LOVE MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM! Y'ALL COULD REQUEST WHENEVER UUUU GUYS FEEL LIKE

HIREATH (Y/N looses her memory from getting into an accident and Harry loves her all over again)

It all began with the weekly cleansing of their home. Yes, home. After months and months of getting accustomed to every creak of floorboard, the corner of hallway where sun shines the brightest, the tiny library Y/N loves to spend time with Harry – she has finally come to terms with calling this big sleek house her home, her most comfy space.

And Harry her person.

She has got a bunch of her memories back but other half still haunts her to sleep and she memorises the one she has a grip on to never let them slip and to cherish them till they grow old together.

While Harry had his head butted into some dusty corner to retrieve some boxes Y/N went through drawers to clean the cluster out, they both were singing ‘I’m always by your side’ by John Park.

Though, halfway through it Y/N stopped. She felt like the words choked her throat with tears bubbling in her eyes and her fingers trembled as she flipped the frame that has yellow and lilac chunky hearts on it’s borders.

“Can we have a family of ours? I've some affection for another pair of little bambi eyes.” She doesn’t remember writing it back there and it hurts her like a painful stab.

You don’t remember the most important detail of your own damn life, what a sadist.

She scoffed to herself.

When Harry didn’t hear the saccharine hum of her wife his head perked up, “Lovie?” His smile that was fluttering up from hearing their favourite part coming up and him about to be yelling at her to sing it with him dropped wrenchingly when he heard those sniffles.

“Baby.” He rounded towards her worriedly. Massaging her shoulder to make her look at him and the sorrow in his’s loves eyes broke his heart into shards tumbling him to his knees infront of her.

“What happened, darling?” He asked cupping her cheek gently and ran his thumb over her wobbling damp lip.

She just shook her head and sucked through her teeth, dollops of tears fell on Harry’s cheeks and sobbed into his hand with her eyes bolted shut.

“’M sorry!” Harry frowned when she apologised stroking her nose into his wrist, “Sorry f'what sweet pie?” He asked getting more concerned every second ticked by.

“That you wanted a family with me and I ruined that f'you ...” Her hiccups went breathless and Harry’s heart thumped into outer space for some seconds, he completely forgot about that lil present.

“Shh. Shh. ‘s okay me sweet girl, shh c’mon. Nothing’s ye fault. ‘M happy that you’re safe, healthy and happy in my arms, yeah?” He went to hug her and let her cuddle into him and she breathes his tangerine vanilla-y scent to calm herself down.

“Are you happy, though?” His tone was uncertain and his irises lurked with hope.

“Very.” He sighed in relief when She squeezed his fingers and bobbed her head profusely with that cute shy smile of hers, “Then all set! ... and fo’ babies my love we could have them whenever y'want,” He grazes his palm down her spine in smooth circles, “Whenever you’re ready.” He affirmed her in his most loving and assuring voice.

“Can we try for it now?” Harry’s brows shot up at her timid and hesitant whisper, his eyes glossed with tears of happiness because he thought he'd never be able to see this moment in his all life.

He pets her hair down her head and kissed her forehead, arms wounding around her shoulders to embrace her protectively and sentimentally.

“You want a tiny me and a tiny you!?” He grinned pushing her back gently to look down at her with cheerful eyes, when she bobbed her head with equal enthusiasm and excitement he turned all soft and mushy -- palm pressing against her belly.

“Want me t’put a baby in this pretty tummy of yours?” He smooched pecks on her lips, then kissed her compassionately at her honest confession that she actually wants what he’s been wanting for ages.

She wants to be the mommy of his babies.

.

Y/N's 6 months pregnant. With Harry’s bub. In a phase of it where her skin's all glassy and glowing, her eyes angelic and they grow proper lil suns on the sight of her hubby coming back home early to them.

Harry’s been never happier than this. He feels as if the whole world’s yarned up into his pocket.

He makes sure that his lovin’ is feeling comfy and pleased everytime, staying awake with her till mornings -- eating snacks and her weird cravings with her to make her feel less bad about it, taking care of her diet plans and her health, loads of love making and satiating sex, he’s always there to wipe her tears and listen to her tantrums all caused from her maternal hormones.

“Harry! Bambi eyed!!” She’s been sprawled on their deep snuggly sofa watching telly when she felt the baby moving around inside her while Harry swirled more cream on their strawberry pies.

“What happened –.. wait.” Anxiously Harry rushes back only to be met by his overly joyed girl as she huffs trying to sit up, “Come watch my belly, our baby’s havin’ a dance party inside here!” She giggles and forwards her hand for him to grab.

“Gimme your hand! Gimme! Gimme!”

“Is that so?” Harry smiles fondly wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her from back to his chest, “Don’t hear any music babe.” He teases her planting his ear against her swollen belly all of his teeth showing brightly when he feels a small prod against his cheek.

“Our bub just kicked!!” He squeals, smacking a little rushy kiss to her lips then again fixes himself back to his favourite spot.

Every night he reads books to the baby and listens to music with headphones around her belly in this exact spot.

“Harry ...” Y/N scratches his head and runs her fingers through his curls hoping that there lil one get them as walnutish and pretty.

“Do y'think I’ll be a good mother?” At that Harry moves all his attention on her and makes scooches her nearer to her, “Why’d y'ask that baby?” He asks brushing the loose strands of her hair way.

“Dunno.” She shrugs clutching the hem of his hoodie, “I don’t remember stuff from our past – sometimes I forget too much and then it comes all back. What if in old age my amnesia hits back and they'd get too annoyed by me.” There comes the pregnancy whining and wild thinking, messy tears and anxious thoughts.

“Moppet ...” Harry sighs, closing his eyes and kisses her cheeks.

“You’re g'na be the best mommy ever! Knows that they’ll love you endlessly, darling. Your memories doesn’t change the person you’re – my love, my life, the momma of my babies, you’re doin’ so good.” She giggles through her sniffles when Harry showers her in loud slobbery kisses.

“Watermelon with peanut butter sounds so good right now.” She murmurs into his neck and Harry’s glad she’s all bunched up in his arms because he did most disgusting face he could ever scrunch up.

“But, I just made y’a pie!” He whines counting on his fingers when she bursts into tears upon hearing that.

“Cute. Thank you. But, your baby wants that.” She pokes him in ribs and gives him the most puppy eyes ever.

“Alright. Not joining along though.” He gives her a pointed look and plucks her pout.

“Harry! Promise it’ll taste s’good.”

“I bet.” He quips, creating comical gagging noises.

“Meanie.” She grumps trying to bite his earlobe mischievously.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry angst #harry styles cute blurbs #harry styles story #harry styles #cute harry #harry smut #fluff #hsh #dom harry #harry styles fluffy duffy #dad harry styles

[lastsonlost]

when a complete irresponsible asshole has a pity party it looks like THIS 👇👇👇👇

Don’t ask me why, but I’ve always been the type of girl that the vast majority of men just don’t want to romance. They’ll fuck me, sure. But they generally don’t romance me. I often have to scream and yell for it. It’s not because I’m not hot, either. I’m just…not what typical men want.

To a point, it feels like I’m alone in this even though I’m not. If I were honest, I know that I’m not the only one in my circle of friends to have this issue. There are a lot of women out there who would adore and appreciate those gestures that never get them.

There’s no rhyme or reason to it. I’ve seen it happen to virgins, and I’ve seen it happen to porn stars. No joke. Most of us who are “not that type” just kind of settle or end up quietly walking away from men altogether. It hurts.

And sometimes, things actually get a little worse.

How could it get worse than being the girl guys don’t ever want to be with? Well, there’s a sizable group of women who don’t get male attention at all. Let me be blunt: if you are not conventionally attractive, you’re basically invisible to most of the male gender.

Yo, It Fucking Hurts

I know, I know. I’m going to get so much flak from a lot of my readers about this. It hurts when you feel that kind of rejection from the opposite sex, and to a point, I want to say it’s especially true when you’re a woman or present as one.

It sucks to admit, but we’re in a weird crux in society. On one hand, women are told that they are not supposed to feel validation from the male gaze. And realistically, that is true to a point. Only you can give yourself the validation you need.

However, we’re also still told that women’s value is based on how attractive they are. So when you don’t get any attention, you somehow feel…broken? Defective? Wrong? And yet society seems to fault women for being upset when we’re passed over like yesterday’s leftovers?

It’s hard feeling invalidated by everyone around you. But, it’s not just that. There’s also that feeling of being at a party and being the only one without that X-factor. Even when people tell you it’s okay, it doesn’t feel okay. You start to look around and ask yourself, “Why am I not worth it?”

How Do I Know This?

personally I don't think her looks are getting away BUT HER HORRENDOUS PERSONALITY IS

I mean, it should be obvious by now. I had a major hormone imbalance that caused a series of issues in my body. I bled for six months, gained 90 pounds, and also started getting very strange outbreaks that affected my neurology. At times, I couldn’t walk if I tried.

When I was sick, I didn’t look good. I went from smoking hot to looking like a bloated corpse. And it was then that I realize that most men won’t even give basic respect to a woman who doesn’t fit the bar for pretty. In fact, a shocking number of men went out of their way to tell me I was worthless.

I’m doing better now, but that was a harsh lesson in how little I’m worth in the eyes of most men. If I’m going to be honest, I have had a hard time forgiving guys over how I was treated back then.

To a point, I’ll always question whether the men in my life would still speak to me if I got sick again. It’s sad, but those memories can’t and won’t go away.

What Happens To The “Invisible Women?”

Honestly, this is a good question that a lot of people don’t think about. Men may never believe this, but it’s not always easy to find a man willing to give you the time of day. It’s really not.

And sometimes, it’s not just a matter of dieting, either. Sometimes, for rhyme or reason unknown, girls just don’t have the “it” factor that men want. But, I’ve noticed a pattern among ladies who have this happen. Here’s what I have personally seen:

First, they get desperate. I’ve been that girl. I’ve sat down men and asked them, “What do I have to say or do to make you like me?” Sadly, attraction cannot be negotiated. This goes for any gender, and most ladies realize trying to force interest is a fool’s errand.

Then, they try to improve themselves. We all know the ones who have hit the gym and gotten plastic for the hopes of finding a man. Sometimes, this can work. Sometimes, it doesn’t. I know quite a few statuesque beauties who, for one reason or another, are still passed up for dates but still get laid.

Then they get depressed. I can’t name how many ladies I know ask me, “Why can’t I get into a normal relationship?” I wish I had an answer. Lord knows men generally don’t seem to want to contribute to a relationship and seem fine with hurting women if it benefits them. Pursuing a woman seems to be something only afforded to a specific set of ladies. For the life of me, I don’t know what they do to get that.

Then, they often get bitter and angry. I mean, why wouldn’t they get angry at being passed up or used? It fucking hurts, especially if you put so much work into trying to find someone. You start viewing men as these people who just remind you of how little you’re worth. Seeing happy couples makes you get into a simmering rage when you’re at this stage.

Eventually, most give up and stop trying for a relationship altogether. A friend of mine is in her late 30s. She looks 22, no joke. Perhaps the only time she ever showed fatigue was when she told me that she hadn’t had a date in 10 years. She sighed and told me, “I don’t even date anymore. I’d rather just walk away. They don’t want me so I’m not going to try. It’s better not to waste time and tears, you know?”

But regardless of whether they continue their pursuit or not, they often make a life for themselves and start enjoying it. The cool thing about being single for a long time is that it forces you to enjoy living with yourself. It also forces you to stand on your own two feet. Eventually, these ladies find tons of friends. Some adopt kids, pets, and even whole communities of their own. Shockingly, they live happy, enriched, fulfilling lives. In some cases, men do eventually come by asking for them. However, most women who reach this point tend to reject them simply because they can’t see what a man would be able to add to their lives at this point. As it turns out, these ladies end up living longer, happier, and healthier lives. The statistics prove it, too. So, as it turns out, sometimes leaving women single truly is the better choice.

Ladies, Your Pain Is Valid.

Yes, I’m usually all about talking about how it’s often better to be single than with the wrong person. That doesn’t mean that you can’t feel a pang of hurt when you don’t get the relationship you wanted or worked for. Humans want to be desired by others.

You are not wrong for wanting a relationship, and a lot of people who ask you why you “can’t just be happy alone” don’t get that. I do. So, if you haven’t heard this today, let me say it for you: your pain is valid, and I see you.

[good4olivia]

homework and the truth

Edward Cullen x Reader 

Requested: Yes 

Summary: Edward tells his human best friend that he’s a vampire and after she’s okay with it, he confess his feelings for her. 

A/N: requests are open! i do headcanons too :) + i did a skim edit so they may be some mistakes 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Y/N asked Edward while she was got herself a glass of water, “I never see you eat or drink anything, it’s kinda of weird.” She laughed. Her back was to him, while she was looking for a glass.

“I told you I’m on that special diet.” Edward chuckled.

“Right that one your foster doctor dad has you on.” Y/N said skeptically. She knew something was different about that family, there was just too many weird things to ignore but every time she tried asking Edward about it he’d brush her off and the mood would damper so she let it go.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Y/N asked as she sat next to Edward on the sofa.

“We have homework to do, love.” Edward would always call Y/N cute nicknames like that. At first he thought that she would find it weird but she never said anything. Edward couldn’t read her mind, something that frustrates him a lot especially considering he was basically in love with her but couldn’t make up his mind if she felt the same way or not. Sometimes he was positive she felt the same way but then she would talk about another boy at school and all the doubt came running back.

“Ugh, you’re always the voice of reason. But do we have to do it here? Can’t we go to the place you know in the woods? That pretty meadow?” Y/N asked. Edward had taken her there a few times on the weekend.

“It’s already 4, it takes an hour and a half to get there and it would be dark by that time. We can go on the weekend?” Times like these Edward wished he could tell his best friend that he was a vampire, it takes him 5 minutes to get the meadows when he’s running and he just wants to do what makes her happy but he’s too scared that she will want nothing to do him with anymore and he can’t stand the idea of loosing her.

“Yeah you’re right. Ugh okay, enough procasnating. Should we start with math? Get it over and done with?” She suggested. She liked having Edward over for study dates, it made it easier that had the same homework being in basically every class together (what she didn’t know, was that was no condience on Edwards part).

Of course, Edward knew everything the teacher taught, probably better than the teachers themselves and could do the homework within seconds but he dumbs it down to spend time with you and help you with your homework.

—

“I love doing homework with you, it’s only 5:30 and we’re already done!” Y/N exclaimed as she packed up her books, “Do you have to go home? Or can you hang out for a bit?’

“Of course.” Edward smiled, it always made him happy when Y/N wanted to spend time with him, especially cause he got self-conscious about taking up too much of her time.

They decided to put on a movie and within the few hours, Y/N had subconsciously moved closer and closer to Edward until her head was on his shoulder. They had never really been this close before and Edward could hear Y/N hearts racing. Edward knew his heart would’ve been the same if it wasn’t dead.

“It’s getting late, your parents are probably expecting you soon.” Y/N said, though she didn’t want him to leave.

“Can I tell you something? Before I go home?” Edward asked nervously. He had to tell her he was a vampire. Nothing really happened this evening but the little that did happen only made him want more.

“Yeah sure.” Y/N answered, she could sense the that something was wrong and she was worried. “Is everything okay?”

“I hope so. So you know how I’m on that diet and how I always text you back even if it’s 3am or how all my siblings and I look a lot alike even though we’re not related?” Edward started off, he could hear her heart racing and suddenly he wanted to back out. All anxieties about how she was going to react came flooding back to him.

It had been a moment or two and he hadn’t elaborated more, “Edward? Can you please just tell me what’s going on. I promise you can trust me, whatever it is I won’t run away and I won’t tell anyone.”

Even without his ability to read her mind, from the look in her eyes he could tell she meant what she said, “I’m a vampire Y/N.”

Y/N eyes tore away from Edward and she felt her stomach drop. Not in a million years would she guess this was Edward’s secret. She loved Edward, how could he be this monster? She stood up from the couch and took a few step backs, “The-The hikers that have gone missing, the supposed animal attacks? Was that you and your family?”

Edward stood up, which caused Y/N to take another few steps back. This was Edward’s worst fear, for Y/N too see him for what he was, a monster. “No love, I promise my family and I we are different from others of our kinds. We only drink the blood of animals, thats why were able to stay in one town for so long. Please, you have to believe me. I can’t lose you.”

“How can I believe you?” Y/N whispered. Part of her knew that Edward wouldn’t hurt her, they had been friends for months, he had plenty of chances to hurt her if that was his true intention.

“You would ask about my eyes, why they change colours. When they’re black, it means I haven’t hunted in a few weeks and when they turn back to topaz, it means I’ve hunted - on animals not humans. If I fed on a human, my eyes would red. Does that make sense?” He sounded so desperate, he knew he did but he hoped she could believe him.

“What about those missing hikers? Was it really just animals?” She asked, Good, this is good. This means she probably believe me. Edward thought.

“Those were nomads passing through, we made sure they’re not coming back I promise. I would never let them hurt you.” Edward realised after it was too late that his last sentence was a bit too intense but it didn’t seem to make her more anxious, possibly the opposite.

“Do you want me to leave?” Edward asked softly.

Y/N shook her head, she moved closer to Edward and wrapped her arms around him, “I guess this is also why you’re so cold.” She laughed.

“Yeah. So you’re okay with all this, you still want to be my friend?” Edward asked, needing the confirmation.

“I know that I freaked out a little at first but I really did mean it when I said you can trust me.” Y/N said.

Edward nodded, it was completely rational for her to be a bit freaked out but he was happy she came around. Realising that he just did the one thing he was most terrified of, he decided the other thing wasn’t as scary.

“There’s something else actually.” Edward started off,

“Don’t tell me Forks is also home to witches and werewolves.” Y/N joked.

Edward chuckled, “No, the witches at least,” Y/N eyes widen, “Another time love. But what I wanted to tell you was that I love you.”

“I love you too Edward, you know that-“

“No not like that, not like a friend. I love you as something more.” Edward told her.

Y/N didn’t say anything after a moment, Edward started to panic, “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way-“

“No! I mean, yes I do feel the same way. I love you, Edward. I just- I just didn’t think it would be possible for you to feel the same way about me. I mean I’m me and you’re you.” She confessed.

“If only you could see yourself the way I saw you.” He told her as he brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

“Are you going to kiss me now?” She smiled.

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. Kissing her was everything he ever thought it would be and he only broke up apart so he would have time to catch her breathe.

“I love kissing you.” Y/N gigged and leaned her head into his chest.

Edward pressed her further into his chest and kissed her forehead, “Can I stay over tonight?” He really didn’t want to think about going home right now, not after getting what he wanted ever since he first met her.

“Yeah. My mum usually goes straight to bed after her shift and she doesn’t wake up before I go to school.” Y/N explained to him.

Y/N got herself another glass of water, she was so happy knowing the real reason why Edward never drank or ate anything and especially that they were boyfriend and girlfriend now.

She loved seeing Edward laying in her bed, “You don’t sleep do you?”

“No, not ever.” He answered.

“Won’t you get bored all night?” She wondered.

“I’m never bored when I’m with you.” He confessed to her.

She climbed under the covers and turned on her TV, “Does this mean you’re my boyfriend?”

“Hmm and you’re my girlfriend.” He said while pulling her closer to him.

#edward cullen x reader #edward cullen imagines #edward cullen #edward x bella #twilight imagines #twilight #robert pattinson #twilight x reader

[asian-hero]

i have a weird questions, which one out of the mha characters would actually enjoy going to the museum? like i loved going there before corona and it’s my dream to have dates just going and looking at the fossils and looking at the egypt part- but who would want to go as well (this could be platonic or romantic coevckrbdjdh -❤️)

A/N: Hi ❤️ anon I honestly picked the three most nerdy kids from 1A, so I hope you enjoy :)

Also full disclosure while I have been to a handful of museums myself, I’ve literally only paid attention to the arts section, and even then I wasn’t really there mentally, so forgive me if this sounds dumb

Iida Tenya

Tenya’s favorite place to take you out on a date would be the museum. His perfect idea for a date would be to just wander around the museum while giving you small factoids about each sight you see. Whether you’re in the renaissance era of paintings or the weapons display dating back to 700 B.C.E., he’ll know at least a few facts to keep you entertained

Though he does tell you much about the history about whatever you’re looking at, he also enjoys hearing your own facts about any given time period, as well as any theories you may have about a certain topic, regardless if they have any factual bearings

You told him about the theory that aliens built the pyramids of Egypt, and though he chastised you about saying that so loudly in the Egypt section of the museum, he was doing his best to hold in his laughter at just how ridiculous that sounded

Tenya’s favorite museums to visit with you have to be any historical museum because it both gives you things to talk about while also being intellectually stimulating. He loves walking through the “gadgets” part of the exhibition, as he loves to see how technology has advanced as time goes on. It’s also the section that he probably has the most information on, so if you want to see him light up like a Christmas tree, take him to that section

Museums also give him an excuse to hold your hand under the guise of not wanting you to “get lost.” While you know he just likes holding your hand, you never call him out on it, because he’s usually always prude about those things and you don’t want to ruin the moment. Whenever he squeezes your hand gently as you walk through the halls you can feel your heart squeeze as well

Overall, museum dates with Tenya are practically the only dates you go on, and you wouldn’t change that for the world

Yaoyorozu Momo

While the two of you don’t necessarily go on museum dates often, it always ends up being a magical experience. Momo secretly wishes the two of you would go together more often because she loves those kinds of things, but she doesn’t want you to think she’s boring, so she almost never offers it, but gets extremely happy is you suggest it

Her favorite type of museum would be, as silly as it sounds, but the science and technology museums. Similar to those that you would visit as a child because they had plenty of fun activities, but also the ones that teach you about the inner workings of technology through the years. She loves going to the fun science museums with you because it gives you plenty of activities to do while also not boring you, though you could never be bored with her

She also loves to read about the composition of certain technologies, such as airplanes and simple things such as a compass. Since her quirk relies on her knowledge of the composition of any given item, she’s found that she actually enjoys being able to know what everything is made of, and it also helps her to train her quirk better

Whenever the two of you first step foot into the museum, she’s very reserved about the things she finds interesting, and she doesn’t really say much. However, once she sees something that really piques her interest, she starts to get more excited, and she excitedly starts listing off the materials of any given item, and it’s honestly the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. Even if you’re not really interested in the museum, seeing her get all excited about it makes it all worth it

There was one time during your date when Momo seemed to have spaced out on a fancy looking compass, and before you could even ask her what she was thinking about, she simply stated “I could make that” and then walked over to the next exhibit

Later that day she in fact did make that fancy compass and gifted it to you as a present for taking her to the museum. It’s still one of your most treasured possessions

Midoriya Izuku

Izuku is a certified nerd who loves going to museums. While yes, he’s nerdy about heroes, he’s also nerdy about so many other things. It’ll take a while for him to even suggest the two of you to go on a museum date, because every time he’s ever shown people his interest in something, it usually ends up with him rambling on about what he likes, and eventually causes everyone around him to tell him to shut up. So, you’ll have to be the first to suggest a museum date if you ever want to see him get really excited

His favorite type of museum would have to be the natural history museum or a simple history museum. He loves the natural history museums because he enjoys learning about how things evolve, and he absolutely was a dinosaur kid. He’ll know nearly everything about every single dinosaur in that building and he will tell you about it

At first, he’s a little reserved when it comes to sharing his knowledge. Of course, you can see how excited he is, since he’s never been one to be good at hiding things, but he never really speaks up. You can see the glimmer of excitement in his eyes, but the most that comes out of his mouth is “wow that’s really cool, did you know they could do that?” So, you’ll have to be the one to ask him “Hey, Izu, what was so special about this dinosaur?” It’ll get him started real quick

As he gets more comfortable with you, and he realizes that you won’t shut him down once he starts going, and that you actually like to hear what he has to say, then he’ll start being his normal nerdy self. He’ll start talking about when a certain dinosaur was supposedly around, what their diet was like, if there was any scientific arguments about what that animals temper was like, what its normal everyday life would be like, just things that normally people wouldn’t necessarily know from just looking at the plaques next to the fossils

It’s the cutest thing to see him get so excited, so you simply link your arms together as the two of you walk around the museum, listening to him as he lists off the numerous amounts of facts he knows about any given animal or plant in a given room

After your first museum date with Izuku, you make a mental reminder to take him there whenever he’s feeling upset, because you know that it’ll lift his mood right up

#iida tenya x reader #iida x reader #Iida Tenya #yaoyorozu x reader #momo yaoyorozu x reader #Yaoyorozu Momo #momo yaoyorozu #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku #deku #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

[clonemando]

Had a bad day and am stressed out so I wrote some Father/Son Jaster and Jango hurt comfort to make me feel a little better. Please enjoy!

Jango hasn't been eating like he should after hearing rations are low and Jaster isn't pleased to find out.

Jango smiled as he sat next to one of the foundlings being looked after by the Ha'at after the last campaign and offered them a second bowl of tiingilar. "Shh, just a secret between us." He said with a wink at them when their expression lit up amd he took the empty bowl in exchange. Jaster couldn't know he had been giving his portions away or he'd be furious but Jango knew what it was like to be new and hungry and too scared to ask for food. Especially when their rations were as low as they were at current. Death Watch was targeting any settlement that traded with Haat they could find and it was leading more and more to turn them away and refuse to trade with them. That with all the crop burning and more foundlings being left behind with no where else to go meant slim pickings for food. Jango was older than most of the others. He was used to missing meals while out on the field with Jaster. Plus the less he ate the easier it got to ignore the slight pains of hunger that would occasionally pop up. It was fine. He wasn't starving himself. He still ate midmeal. He just only at midmeal and whatever snacks Jaster occasionally would share with him.

He got up and walked around to another new kid and snuck them a ration bar that was supposed to he for his breakfast. They smiled at him in thanks and he nodded back before heading to turn in the empty dish.

"You finished that off fast Alor'ika! We should enter you in a competition." Bari said with a bright grin that showed off some fangs she had inherited through mixed genetics. She looked mostly human but so did most Mandalorians, years of adopting any species or race into their own had played with all of their DNA in weird ways. Jango himself was certainly some sort of mash of things as well but it's never really mattered since he was human enough.

"I guess the mission earlier just really had me hungry. I'm all filled up now though. Delicious as I expect from the best cook in the camp." he said kindly but she just raised a brow.

"You really are Jaster's ad with a tongue that smooth Alor'ika. Speaking of which, I haven't seen your buir yet. Take him his portion for me? He's probably still going over those maps." She asked handing him another full bowl and Jango nodded.

"Of course. Honestly how he got anything done before I was here to remind him life exists is a mystery." He chuckled and headed back towards his father's room getting nods from a few verd as he passed them. He felt good about his position. He wasn't cocky enough to think he was special or anything like that but he hot along easily with the other Haat'ade and most seemed to think he belonged with Jaster. It felt nice to be wanted and to have other people confirm his place with them. Even if he didn't become Mand'alor after Jaster, he'd always belong there.

"Buir! Bari sent me with your food. You get lost in that romance novel again?" He asked teasingly as he set the bowl down on Jaster's desk after clearing some space.

Jaster jumped a little in his chair glasses askew on his face before he relaxed at the sight of his son. "I actually think I fell asleep after calling a few more friends to make sure Tor hasn't bothered them." He admitted ruffling Jango's hair fondly and picking up the bowl and sniffling the stew inside.

"Mmm. This smells great. Bari really is a miracle on this whole operation. Only she could manage Tiingilar on such a meager budget." He chuckled and Jango nodded.

"Yeah. It's great! She's an amazing cook." He said clearing his throat when his stomach growled at him to cover the sound.

Jaster took a few bites while Jango looked over the list of numbers Jaster had been going through.

"Hmmm, something about this tastes different." He said after a while and Jango hummed absently.

"She said earlier that she ran out of the normal spice paste she used and started using Clan Rook's stuff instead." Jango said surprised when Jaster choked on his bite causing him to pat Jaster's back.

"Clan Rook's? Are you sure? And you ate it?" Jaster asked eyes fluttering over Jango with concern.

"Of course! It's not like I'm going to turn down Tiingilar! What are you scared Clan Rook is out to poison me or something?" Jango asked playfully though he was trying to understand what had Jaster so upset.

"Jango... Clan Rook uses vash nut powder in their spice mix." He pointed out and Jango winced. Right. Of course they did. And he just happened to be extremely allergic to that particular nut.

"Well... I... Actually wasn't that hungry tonight and didn't want to worry you. I'm sorry Buir. I shouldn't have lied about it. I'm fine though. It's a good thing too it seems since it saved us me swelling up and needing to go to medical." He tried to joke but Jaster was staring at him with a considering gaze now that made him uncomfortable.

"Well you still have your breakfast rations right? You can have that tonight and I'll talk to Bari and make sure there's no more surprises like that again." He offered and Jango reached into the empty pocket head ducking.

"I... uh... I don't have my breakfast ration anymore buir." He said letting his hair fall forward to hide his eyes feeling heat burning his face in shame.

"What happened to it? Did you drop it?" Jaster asked and Jango cleared his throat as his stomach growled again but this time there was no hiding it.

"I'm really not hungry Buir! Really. I'm fine." Jango said knowing he couldn't lie and especially not to Jaster.

"Jango, what's going on? Why aren't you eating? Are you feeling sick?" Jaster asked setting his bowl aside to feel Jango's forehead but Jango pushed his hand aside.

"No... I just... gave it to the foundlings. They need it more. Many are too nervous to speak up and rations are low right now. I don't mind. When things pick up again I'll eat more. I promise." he admitted quietly.

"Jango... why didn't you say anything? You... How many meals have you been skipping? How long?" Jaster asked looking concerned.

"I've been giving away my breakfast rations and late meal. I still eat with you obviously. It's enough. I'm used to it. It doesn't even hurt anymore." He said quickly then regretted it.

"Anymore?! It doesn't hurt anymore? Oh no. No no no. Come on." Jaster stood and grabbed his arm gently but firm enough he couldn't jerk it away easily and started dragging him out of the room.

"Buir! Buir wait! You're overreacting! It's really fine! Some of the verd were even impressed by how good I'm looking!" He said and Jaster almost growled.

"Looks don't matter! None of that matters! You haven't been eating Jango! You're a child! If anyone should he cutting portions it would be the adults and even that there are ways to manage it so we all take turns so no one misses meals the way you have. If you had just said something I could have been giving you extra breakfast rations to give to the others if they're too nervous to ask. You shouldn't have been starving yourself! Do you have any idea how it feels to hear you talking like this? Like you deserve to eat less for some reason? You're my son and I've failed you by not even noticing you were doing this to yourself. I thought maybe the weight loss was because of a growth spurt coming on. I never had an ad before but you... You've been hurting yourself. We're going to medical. They're going to run tests and we're going to figure out how badly you've thrown your diet out of whack. Hopefully not too badly. Then we're eating every meal together until I'm certain I can trust you again." Jaster ranted and Jango just stared at the floor fighting tears. He had just wanted to help.

Jaster took a deep breath and let it out. "Jango, ner ad, you are a good boy with a good heart. But you matter just as much as the new foundlings, you know that right?" he asked more gently as he knelt and tipped Jango's face back up.

"Of course I do. But I'm going to be a leader one day and I have to make sure that our people are all taken care of first. You would have done the same thing!" He argued feeling the tears start to spill down his cheeks and hating it. Being eleven sucked.

Jaster wiped the tears away with his thumb. "Jango, if that was true why am I still eating normally? We have plenty of food Jango. Yes it's a little tight, but nothing to where you need to skip out on everything besides midmeal. And I'm your leader. So, again, it would be me or the other adults, who would be responsible for figuring out how to ration. Which we would need you to be honest about how much you need to eat to be able to do. You're my son. I love you and want you to be living a happy healthy life. Something not hurting anymore, is not a sign of you being happy and healthy. It should never hurt to begin with. You're not in trouble. I'm not mad. I'm scared and upset with myself for not noticing and fixing this sooner." He murmured more calmly and Jango wrapped him in an embrace he eagerly returned.

"Do you promise to actually eat all the meals I give you and tell me if you or anyone else needs extra from now on?" Jaster asked and Jango nodded from where his face was tucked into Jaster's shoulder.

"Good. Then let's get you examined and then I think we both deserve a treat tonight. After you eat a proper latemeal." He said firmly but lifted Jango up and carried him to medical.

#star wars #jango fett #jaster mereel #fanfic #star wars open seasons #young Jango #tw food scarcity #Jaster is a good dad #Jango is a good son #Being at war is hard