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#it's weird it's hard to define in any other way than 'all of these bands are reacting to the world with dystopian worldbuilding in their mu
miserywizard · 6 months
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i love all kamelot albums with tommy but man they really did something with silverthorn that they haven't quite achieved since
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blacklodgemusictx · 10 months
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The thing about plans is: they necessitate optimism. You have to assume the world will keep turning for long enough to get to the plans in... The Future.
Three months ago, I went, "We should see the Pool Kids"... in Ohio! Somehow it made sense to fly 1200 miles to see them on a Thursday versus the normal hoops I have to jump through to see any band here in Texas (Austin and Denton are a Tuesday and a Wednesday. Any time I see a show in Texas, due to the fact that I live nowhere anyone would ever want to come on purpose, there is always extra time off to be requested for drive time -- 3ish hours for Denton, 4 hrs one way for Austin).
"Good Girls Go to Heaven, Bad Girls Go on Tour" also represents the Pool Kids' first foray out on the world as... headliners (starry eyes.)
I didn't write about the Pool Kids back in March. I should have. It would be a lot easier now to describe what they mean to me if I had.
The Pool Kids are a delightful anomaly in my own history. I discovered them 100% on my own. No outside influence what so ever. Doug and I simply lamented one night in late 2018/early 2019 that we really needed to find something closer by to do. Maybe something is happening close by and we don't even know it! Something that won't require... taking off time from WORK?! So I got on Spotify and searched for bands touring nearby -- within a 100 mile radius (Dallas is 186 miles). I looked at the results: someone called the Pool Kids. In San Angelo. 91 miles!!
They were the *only* band not wearing cowboy hats in their profile picture.
They're new (at the time) album was called "Music to Practice Safe Sex To." Ok. I put it on for a listen. Girl singer. Ugh. Not my thing. But anything to block out the random bullshit background noise in my office. I play it through. Eh. Doesn't Grab me.
Oh well, it was worth a try.
But time passes... brain says, "lizzz.... lizzz listen to that album again... lizzzz" Yes, brain, I do as you command.
And it grabs me.
It grabs me hard.
And I *love* it. I don't know why. I'm big on understandable lyrics. And I can't say I understand half of what is being said. But the melodies are gorgeous. I get goosebumps. Whatever she's talking about it, it's sad... and contemplative. And angry ("I should rip your throat out for what you've done to me...") Her voice is low for the most part. Something I've only learned about myself recently is I tend toward listening to voices that sound closer to my own and I'm a contralto.
When I look in to the band, I'm told it's "math rock." I have no fucking clue what that means (musicians have explained it to me: Complex time signatures. Key changes. Sounds like a new definition of "prog" to me. Close, the musicians tell me, but not quite.) Whatever. Don't make me label a thing. And for sure if you tell me it's "math rock" and then assume I will like other kinds of "math rock" I will refuse on principle. I pride myself on being harder to define in my tastes than that.
The reality? My finger is placed squarely on it later. "oooOOOOooo I see!" Hayley Williams from Paramore acknowledges and gives them props at some point... *that's* it. They remind me of the Paramore appreciation I gleaned from my time as a too-old-to-admit-it-Twihard. Simple.
We absolutely go to the San Angelo gig. Doug and I are easily the oldest people there -- old enough to be these kids' parents easily. The "De Nada" is a artsy thrift store during the day. At night, they push the clothing racks and other offerings against the wall and become a venue.
There are somewhere in the neighborhood of three to five bands. They all sort of run together. The only one I remember is a band from New Orleans. The lead singer is wearing a ruffly shirt and I'm pretty sure he wants to be the Vampire LeStat when he grows up. He does weird acrobatics. Somersaults? Paints his face with red lipstick.
The Pool Kids wail.
I am floored. They are actually kids (something you must know about me is I've been approximately 200 years old since I was in high school... I would have acknowledged their youth even if they had been OLDER than me at that point.) But the amount of rock they bring is amazing, jaw dropping. Lead singer Christine, SHREADS, does that "up-on-the-neck tapping" guitar thing I only saw as a kid stealing glances at MTV when Mom wasn't around (baby cousin posted look out at the door... promptly and cheerfully narc'd on me for doing something I wasn't supposed to).
I have a couple videos from that night on YouTube. One example being:
youtube
We talk to them after. Doug wants to know about their influences. In the accidentally condescending way my brain works, since I’ve been 200 years old this whole time… I am interested to hear what they say. How do you cultivate that amount of raw power and instrument mastery at that age? The only thing I remember being mentioned was Pink Floyd.
Nice.
I come prepared. I cashed out my Christmas money before coming. Pretending to be a baller, I fan out the cash and buy as much of their merch as possible. It was $100, but the way all their eyes lit up, I felt important. And I loved it. I think Christine hugged me. I don’t really remember. I hope that got them lots of van gas and hot meals as they continued on their way… bringing the good news of rock to other points of the compass.
I was now flush with copies of their album. I sent one to Salim and one to Sue Harshe – a friend we made on a pilgrimage to see Scrawl (godmothers of riot grrl — look them up!) in Knoxville in 2015.
Fast forward…
Life changing time with Salim on the road Feb 2020… two last shows: Caroline’s Spine in Tulsa… And the Pool Kids in Houston. March 2020. On an impressive bill with the Wonder Years. Bigger! Poised for up up up bigger and better things.
Then the world ended.
But it got better….
(didn’t it?)
We saw them in Dallas this March at Amplified Live.
And I cried.
Not just a quiet trickle from the corner of my eye.
I cried hard. There they were. Rocking. Bigger and better. Christine working the crowd like a young Bono at Red Rocks. Coming in to herself. Coming into themselves as young rock gods. Master of the stage. Master of all they survey. I was just so in love with what I was seeing and hearing. So proud of them. So happy that we as humans were back. Able to watch a show like this and just be together again. Maybe everything would be ok after all.
I talked to Nicolette (complete bass domination — Doug commented much later that she seems to have the most fun performing on stage of anyone he’s ever seen… and his history as a fine appreciator of rock is ten years longer than mine) at the merch table later. Tried to get myself under control. Still had an embarrassing hitch in my throat. I have seen a LOT of good performances before, but none that have gotten that kind of response before.
She remembers me. I know not a huge amount of time has passed, but in their history and progression as a band and our progression as a now traumatized people… millennia has passed.
I am touched.
So now we are back up to current. They are headlining. Of course they are. They deserve every bit of this. Again I swell with pride though… I’ve backed a winning horse. This is rare. Usually when I love you, you break up (RIP People in Planes).
The deciding factor that made us pick Ohio though was two fold: first date of the tour and where it was: ACE OF CUPS. Ace of Cups was owned by the other half of Scrawl, Marcy Mays (what I didn’t know at the time was that Marcy no longer owns it as of the end of 2022.)
I Facebook squeal. Sue, I tag, can I take ANY sort of credit for this? She agrees that I can, but without elaboration. I don’t know if the credit comes in the fact that I just love them THAT much and have therefore done that “manifesting” thing I keep hearing about. I have WISHED this in to existence. In my happy mind movie though, back in 2019, Sue passes the album on to Marcy. Marcy agrees that they wail. Mentions as ownership of Ace of Cups passes from her, that the Pool Kids are really amazing and if they come by, you should totally get them. Pool Kids acquired.
Perhaps best to just enjoy my happy mind movies and not require further elaboration.
Back to present-present.
Flying always seems like such a doable thing until you (I) are there. I forgot my calm-down pills. The little white bits of magic that make the anxiety grey out for a few hours. There’s also that lull where you watch your airport gate fill up. Maybe *this* time the flight won’t be full.
It’s always full.
Leg one is to Atlanta. Short layover.
Text from Salim, “Can you talk at some point today?”
Literally, right now. This is the most available I will be all day.
So he calls. He’s had a health set back (read his Facebook… I never know what I’m allowed to talk about when it comes to other people.) Our trip that was on the books for the 07/21-07/27 with Rhett {Miller} is off. Off 100% sure? I am just trying to clarify for the purpose of undoing plans. But the voice that lives in my head and constantly tells me I’m an asshole pipes up. Way to make it about you. Jerk. He’s poorly and you are asking if the trip really, truly is off. That’s not what I meant. It’s never what I mean.
I am able to cancel all the hotels and get credit for the plane fare before we even line queue up for next boarding.
I have always had a sense for when something is meant to happen. I didn’t feel like this trip was a good idea. Salim is a big proponent for listening to the universe when it tells you something. I try to be too. We were all meant to stay here for now. I hate that he had to have something health related happen, but in the end… I think we will all realize we were supposed to stay home. Whether I get sick, or Doug, or one of the cats. Something will happen to make me go, “Oh. Here it is. I hear you, universe.” For Salim, I think his prescription is stillness. He is the most go-go-go person I know. He never stops swimming. Something wants him to stop swimming for right now.
This is ok. Seriously. I don’t mind and the only thing I am worried about is my friend.
So we board for hop to. Columbus. Our destination.
The flight is not bad. I feel optimistic. Maybe soon I will master my fear. Fly all the time like it’s not a big deal… maybe make an international jaunt before too long — an idea I’ve never entertained before.
We land at two-ish. Haven’t eaten. There’s a Bob Evans in our hotel’s parking lot. I’ve never been to a Bob Evans. It feels sort of like a Dennified Cracker Barrel. I don’t eat much. I drink even less (there’s that foreshadowing thing again).
We go back to our room and sleep. It’s good sleep. The bed is soft, but not too soft. We wake up at 6:30. Venue is a mile away. Doors at 7.
I primp a bit. No makeup this time. Though it’s easily 25 degrees cooler here than home and there are perceptible dark clouds that might mean a bit of rain if we behave ourselves. I could have worn makeup, but it doesn’t matter.
The venue… there’s that twinge in my chest again. It’s worse this time. But I am delighted. The stage is dark and light chevrons, the backdrop: red curtains. There’s a recognizable symbol on the wall (the thing that looks like an ant’s head with antennae on either side). This is what BLM would have looked like. We HAD the red curtains purchased — they are in our dining room now. The chevron design is a rug … that’s still rolled up in a corner and hasn’t been touched for a year now. Someone else is like me. They know. Again I don’t know if that was Marcy or the new owners and it doesn’t matter if I ask. It still exists. If I managed to walk any further back past the stage… there probably would’ve been owls. Schrodinger’s venue. By not exploring further, it contains all possibilities.
The first band is Chase Petra (the second is Sydney Sprague per the tour poster.) I didn’t look either up ahead of time. I have never given much credence to the idea that I could be influenced to love just by proximity to the band I came to see… but I instantly recognize this idea as false: I got Salim from being an opener. I got Jesse and Landon from Salim… sight unseen.
And I love them both.
Chase Petra is amazing. They are young and saucy. They have attitude. In keeping with the name of the tour, emphasis on “girls.” Chase Petra are 3/4 girl. And all power. The vibe is similar to the Pool Kids. A strong, young, shredding female vocalist, but the show stopper was the other guitarist. She was an eighties hair metal rock god reincarnate. All flying fingers and whipping hair.
It’s so FUCKING LOUD. The hair on my arms vibrates, my heart doesn’t know when to beat, my stomach vibrates.
I love them. The audience loves them too and shouts along with most of their songs.
Band two: Sydney Sprague. They are older. The bass player wears a neckerchief like Fred from Scooby Doo and commands a Moog in between bass slinging duties. The singer is all in black and reminds me of me. Same dark hair style and cut I kept in high school. She’s got a sweet voice, higher than the other girls on the bill. Their performance is a little more low key, but no less powerful. They are a fantastic, cohesive unit in total control of their art.
Someone further to my left up front has brought huge bunches of roses. One for each band. Chase Petra’s bunch lives on stage by their set list, Sydney receives hers like a beauty queen. All blushing and sweet thanks. “Fred” leans over and buries his nose in the bouquet for a moment.
Finally, the moment draws close. I am keenly aware that I am running out of time. I have spent energy enjoying the first two bands. I will pay for this. My spine continues to grind itself to sand, as I assume it will for the rest of my life. I have already remarked that it’s “hot in here.” Liz, it’s not, Doug says. Not good. I’ve had a total of maybe 4 ounces to drink today. All in the name of easier travel.
I’ve taken small moments in between each band to sit on the edge of the stage. I know I will eventually hinder something to do with the bands and their myriad cables and plugs, or the imposing young doorman with the impressive afro will come along and tell me to get up.
Neither.
It’s Nicolette the lovely bass player again. “Excuse me, I have to get in here,” I was sitting on a blank plate that ended up covering electrical sockets. I touch her shoulder. She looks at me. Ah, there’s the recognition. She’s glad to see me.
She puts out the setlist. I’m excited. But filled with dread. I have to last this long. I have to fight my own body for 12 songs and I’m already flagging… but it’s starting and I can’t think about it now.
Their entrance music is… “Sandstorm” and I’m dying. I’m ready to rave. But the music stops abruptly. Starts again. But the moment is gone. Oh well. They tried.
Christine is wearing white platform go go boots, short skirt, fishnets, midi top. Nicolette has an equally short skirt, neckerchief too, but there’s nothing Scooby Doo about hers. I don’t know where to look. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think. They look amazing. Someone on TikTok later declares, “Their fits!!!” Fits… ‘fits… outfits? That has to be it. Woman have been weaponizing their sexuality since woman were admitted to the boys club that is rock music. Courtney Love’s ripped baby doll dresses and bruised innocence, L7 and… throwing… stuff… on stage, performing in bikinis, performing in too little, too much. Anything open for interpretation and therefore derision or scorn. But sexualizing is not cool anymore. I don’t know what kind of commentary I am allowed on this subject, but I am left echoing the same cry, “their fits!!” Their oufits, they are “fit”, they are there and raw and breathtakingly sexual and powerful. You don’t stare at the sun either, but you’ve done it. You’ve dared.
I also have a revelation. Role models. These people are amazing, iconic. I take a moment to bless the proliferation of media I’ve cursed in past. If I had access to these kinds of strong female role models as a teen, my life would have been completely different. I wouldn’t have let my mother’s flat declaration, “You aren’t good at music. PICK SOMETHING ELSE.” Turn me from my fated course.
It makes me happy that social media is exposing young people to bands like the ones on this bill. There’s hope for the future.
They open with “Swallow,” one of the songs on my revised Ketamine playlist. There’s a bit of treated vocal that is the absolutely definition of why music is good. Music should give you that thrill like sticking your head out of the window of a moving car. That drop in your stomach. Momentary breathlessness.
Can’t put my finger on it Don’t know what makes it so appealing I’m not begging for your affection I’m just addicted to the feeling…
Two songs in. Time for the third. How many people here were around for our first album – Music to Practice Safe Sex to? ME!! MEEEEeeeeeEEEE…. I scream. You can hear it on the video. I should be embarrassed. I’m too old to be reacting like this. But I got such a late start…
The music doesn’t know the social constructs of age or sex… it just knows what feels good.
The “Safe Sex” portion of the show is two songs long. This makes me sad. You never forget the album you came in on. It’s a much more forlorn sounding album though. I know from Salim that the forlorn ones don’t get people dancing. But “Patterns,” ah… I would have lost my mind for “Patterns.”
And I spent one too many nights banging my head against the wall to hear another voice telling me that I’m doing something wrong So excommunicate me You’re no better than the fucked up doctrine that sent me running to your doorstep in the first place
Fucked up doctrine. My youth is fucked up doctrine. My memories are tainted by it. I still wonder how they can wield so much word power at such a young age, but then again these struggles are as old as the generations. As long as their have been the elder and the younger, the subjugator and the subjugated, rulers, oppressed, one group will chafe against the other. It hurts the heart, grinds down the soul… but it makes the music amazing.
We make art, music, poetry, to feel hope.
I make it almost to the end… almost… Talk Too Much: Christine does the young Bono thing and goes out in to the crowd. Several times a mini mosh pit has broken out right where she is. At some point, someone flicks beer on us… at least I hope it was beer. Ugh. I am done. The anesthetized feeling starts in my finger tips.
I am going to pass out.
I mouth to Doug, “I have to go. NOW.” I head for the stool previously occupied by the imposing young doorman. I lay my head on the counter for a second. I wait to be booted off. I’ve been doing this for years. I’ve passed out, tried to pass out, and all stages in between for years, in myriad venues in cities all across the US. I like to be in the front. My constitution takes issue with this. But I do it anyway.
I try to gesture to Doug: thumb at my lips, fingers curved around an invisible cup. Drink. Please I need water. But there are too many people.
Next best thing: air. I lurch out the door and land on the pavement beside the door. The Kids are launching in to an encore. I can’t heard what it is. Doug is on his phone summoning the Uber. Imposing Young Doorman Man appears… with a cup of ice water in his hand. THANK YOU, DEAR BLESSING, SIR! You have no idea how many people normally just go, ‘YOU — you can’t sit there!’ (Hi, La Zona Rosa in Austin… the scuzzy incarnation not the gentrified one) even though I’m pretty sure if you kick me out of your establishment while swooning and I faceplant on the cement, I could sue you. Or something.
People aren’t normally friendly about it because they assume I drank too much… when it’s the opposite: I didn’t drink at all.
The Uber appears and we are whiskered away. I still couldn’t hear what the encore was. But I’m not sad. I got most of it and it was AMAZING. Nicolette saw me so I exist. Mission accomplished.
We are back in the hotel. Doug orders Denny’s Doordash. The thing about prolonged exposure to sonic assault is: nausea. Nothing sounds good. Until Doug says… macaroni and cheese. And I know EXACLTY what kind Denny’s has because I’ve noticed it on the menu before. It doesn’t lie. It doesn’t pretend to be something else. It is real: really Kraft boxed mac… and at that moment it sounds like the AMBROSIA of the GODS.
Which is exactly what it tastes like.
I am replenished. The gods of rock are appeased for another night …
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single-malt-scotch · 1 year
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me and my controversial topics will stay under the cut lol.
i know i blabbed lightly of this probably but obviously one of the things that put me off from mcyt for a few years was when the "rpf is bad" opinion started circling the internet more frequently, in tumblr's 2014-2016 toxic callout culture era. i think that era shifted YT fandoms as a whole and turned loads of ppl to presenting creators with their "characters" specifically (like i recall this early on w markiplier and jacksepticeye) and clarifying it often. but i find this all very amusing when 80% of the ppl dont actually play characters at all, and ppl are either just writing "rpf" or theyre just turned a creator into their own OCs. i think its sometimes just a way to not associate with the idea of rpf even if its like, right there.
like, the problem i think is that the majority of fans, namely the young teens that are the main audience, are very consumed by purity culture and being free of problematic interests in such a black and white way. i get it, i understand why you dont want to be associated with rpf. when i think of weird and uncomfortable rpf i think of.... fan fiction of the Beatles, or something. a band or a movie actor is someone we can easily define as "not a character" but... when it comes to mcyt, its a little more grey, because i know some of them goof around in games and do bits and exaggerate themselves.
and yet i still think its counter productive to get caught up in these woes, and to deny what exactly it means for something to be rpf, or have rpf elements. ironically i think the indulgence people have with making them characters worsens the parasocial/obsessive/skewed lens people have on creators these days. how? well its bc of how ppl get super attached to characters... comfort characters, kinning, etc. i love characters just an intensely, but when you apply this to a youtuber who like, doesnt actually play a character? even tho you wanna act like they do? .....there can definitely be issues in that and its def what makes me not get into the fandom as it is. you elevate them with your view of them as a character by being able to indulge in them way further bc they are kind of "yours" now. but also theyre not really.
but specifically back to the rpf vs not rpf topic- basically what i really intend to say is that like. there is harm in becoming too concerned over what youre writing bc you can fall into that mindset of being far too aware in a way thats just gonna make you feel terrible all the time (i experienced this myself when i was like 15 on tumblr and wanted to avoid any potential of touching something "problematic"). this post isnt to declare you are writing rpf, or you arent, or whatever the"rules" are about when it is or isnt, but just that theres always time to just accept shit as it is when the blurry lines arent actually doing any harm in this case. and that even trying to force yourself into the seemingly right direction doesnt exactly solve all the other problems either.
cuz i did all the things ppl would wanna call me out for and i dont care at this point. i wrote fan fiction where the guys where more characters than themselves, in a fantasy world for the server. but i also wrote fan fiction that was irl and based during minecon! and it was smut. and all i can say to that now is...ok. im not even gonna sit around and vehemently condemn it either? even if i never plan to do it again. cuz i dont see the need to punish my past self, nor do i see the reason to continue questioning the nuances of where the line between hard rpf and hard fiction lies with this bc its a never ending conversation. its just not worth my time to worry anymore. i know how to not be weird about it, i know my boundaries between creator and fan, i dont even get near the extent that some people do... i feel like im aware enough to feel like im not causing harm/can make logical choices when issues arise. i was a niave teenager before, and wrote such things with little thought, and had a much less healthy mindset about it! but the way the internet laid on the pressure of these strict definitions was the moment i felt shame, and as if i couldnt ever redeem myself from actions i understand far better now. its really not worth the stress and heartache to get so caught up in it.
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seasaltmemories · 2 years
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How about a "my opinions would be met by most fans as akin as hitting a wasp nest with a baseball bat" for your character of choice in both Arc V and Kubera :P
Arc V
I know Shun is a divisive character, but the adjective I can best use to describe him is forgettable
Which is so weird bc he is a pretty major character from s1, doesn't get benched, and yet when I remember the show, just like he never comes to mind, even though he has plenty of big moments (duel against the LDS trio, Sora, Dennis, Crow, beating up ppl in hand to hand combat during the jail break ala Yusei) they just kinda of all slide off my brain
I think with the XYZ characters, A5, struggled to really ground their backstory in something pathos-inducing in the present. Like destroyed hometown is sad, but we never really see them grow past that initial defining angst or develop relationships with other non-legacy characters. And while I'm not crazy over Yuto and Ruri, they at least have main plot relevance, meanwhile I just have Shun memory-holed in my brain
I think he might have stuck more if the Shun & Ruri relationship was anything interested, but really at most it is an excuse for Shun to be in the plot, when they briefly interact, there's just nothing there, if anything the most potential in the dynamic is that they just fucking hate each other, which kinda goes against the whole motivation/rescue angle. Still it makes postcanon Januship AUs fun bc somehow Ruri rather hang out with the dude that helped kidnapped her and started the war that ruined her home, rather than her brother
Kubera
As a person, terrible hot garbage, but as a character I kinda love Asha?
Like I do have a tendency to like traitor characters and usually I like villains for their complexity and vulnerabilities that contrast with their crimes.
No Asha is an unrepentant serial killer who will manipulate and abuse everyone around her in the search of power, the more you learn about her, the more rotten she becomes, her tragic backstory actually makes her less sympathetic bc of the sheer entitlement on display
But like her dynamic with Leez is one of my favorite thing about the series, even though it is purely bc of all the pain and trauma she puts Leez through, I tend to focus on the mechanics of storytelling over imagining them translated to being irl, so being a great antagonist makes her more likable to me than if she was a better yet more boring character
Also this will drift into series wide stuff, but she should also sapphic. Not because I want there to be any romantic/sexual subtext to her female friendships (For a big fan of romance, I think the betrayal hits so hard bc she and Leez have a platonic mentorship going on) but the sapphic fuckboy energy is just off the charts
Having the manipulative potential big bad be the only major queer character would be iffy, but my response to that is characters in Kubera should be queer, the potential would be amazing
Representation discussions can be tiring, and I don't really like demanding smaller creators do it, especially if they are a one-man band like Currygom, I think if there's not a genuine personal desire for those stories, then there's a greater chance of fucking it up and being unsatisfactory for everyone involved
But the way Currygom writes relationships is so interesting and nuanced, I can't help but imagine all the new possible directions she could go by having more queer characters as well. Especially bc she wrote a woman-majority fantasy adventure that doesn't feel particularly feminine. Like I love me my girly stuff, but it is a unique feel that is hard to describe, neither like girl power XD or male gazey and fetishistic, and I know if she tried out femslash she would come up with something amazing that is fresh and completely unlike anything else out there
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Brain Puke: My Head's A Fucking Machine-Gun
Let’s be real here. You get born into a certain set of circumstances and life is fucking miserable.
Dad’s out of the picture, mom is an absolute weapon who works all the time and drinks to blur whatever time is left.
You’re average looking. An average student. You get screamed at a lot at home. Picked on just enough at school to know you do not and will not fit in.
You just started liking girls but have no idea how to talk to them and there’s nothing in your life to even to begin to pattern a healthy relationship after.
You have dreams but they’re discouraged out of hand.
College is too expensive.
The art world is too competitive.
You’ll never make it.
Like your mom who got knocked up at 17 and has worked at a fucking shoe factory ever since knows anything at all about college or “the art world.”
And you’re smart enough to start understanding that your life is not going to be fun or remarkable in any particular way.
You’re gonna scrape and struggle to get by while you watch people who were born into better families breeze by and act like the reason you’re stuck is because you’re not trying hard enough.
Like it’s 100% fair you’re gonna work retail for your entire life.
So you look for escapism, a cheap fix of the happy brain chemicals. For me it was comic books, sci fi novels, and playing heavy metal, for a lot of kids it’s video games and anime.
And believe me when I say you get fucking dunked on for it.
You’re the weird kid and it’s ok to fuck with the weird kid… Fuck it’s honestly a social bonding thing in most high schools. You need an out-group to define where the in-group ends.
They grind you into the dirt like it’s an extracurricular activity.
And your role is defined.
You’re the victim.
They’re the victor.
And you fucking hate it.
And the rage builds.
And if you live in a small town it doesn’t end with high school.
The casual cruelty carries right through to adulthood.
Once a schmuck always a schmuck.
If you’re lucky you eventually say fuck it, cut and run, decide that dying alone in the big city is better than fucking living here surrounded by idiots and assholes.
Then you make a couple friends who actually like some of the shit you like, find something that releases the pressure… for me it was playing in a grindcore band.
And in some small way shit starts to stabilize, there’s fun, and maybe just a bit of fairness, and people who talk to you like you’re people too.
And you work a job you hate but you also get to go to band practice and play shows and you start to realize there’s a balance there.
And you make friends with a few cool chicks who you learn to talk to like they’re one of the guys, then chicks stop being so weird and scary.
Eventually you start dating, and you get laid and think ok that was sex, that was cool. And it goes from unobtainable to obtainable and that’s cool too.
And life is fucking normal.
It’s a small life, but you like it well enough cos it’s way better than anything you imagined was possible when you were growing up.
And that’s how it went for me, and I’m not remarkable… I was a shitty student from a shitty family and I’m definitely not much to look at. If I can do it most people can probably do it with way less effort.
But I was lucky in one regard, there was no Internet when I was coming up, at least not any that I had access to.
I think about that a lot.
I WAS the archetype of the incel, the mass shooter, the monster.
And in my life it made total sense.
People were hurting me and I wanted to hurt them.
Christ, if I was at my lowest point and had other miserable kids to compare notes with I definitely would have picked up a fucking gun. No question. I was like one bad day away a lot of times as it was.
And that’s the part of this thing that I think we all miss in our pearl clutching when one of these kids does something bad.
We see the bodies pile up on the news but not the years of quiet misery that led to the break point.
You want fewer mass shootings? Don’t ban firearms, stop being shitty to the weird kids. Try to include them in your shit from time to time, and shit maybe watch Ninja Scroll and play a game or two of Magic: the Gathering with them cos it’s what they like.
Y’know, interacting with someone in a way that’s fun and comfortable for them, not just halfheartedly forcing them to do your shit then ditching them when they’re not into it.
Fuck, that might actually reach someone.
But hey, what the fuck do I know?
Just, whatever you do, stop making them feel like all they have is each other and their stupid message boards and their rage at how fucked up and ugly and unfair the whole stupid world is.
‘Cos straight up in a lot of ways they’re not even wrong.
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deobitchxx · 3 years
Text
request! 
synopsis: the jealousy in your boyfriend led to an unexpected sex warning(s): filth smut ig?? degradation, slight slapping, chocking, breeding, multiple orgasms and overstimulation to the point y/n squirted so minors kindly dni! <3 prompt(s): 83 - it's sir, understood? 88 - be quiet or i have no choices but let them know what a whore you are underneath me 89 - do you have fun teasing the shit out of me? notes: i get too carried on with the plot thus leading it to be quite long than usual </3 my apologies
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it was unprofessional of him to behave like this. to be precise, was it even your fault to begin with? it was your job as an idol and you can’t just say no to your manager. you needed the money and you were sure you could gain more popularity by accepting the commercial. it was quite new for a rising idol to be modelling for a lingerie company, but you were proud with your body proportions. plus, the thoughts of money flowing into your bank account can’t bring the smile on your face away. however, you weren’t informed that you’ll have a co-model for the month of promotion. you were shocked once you saw the quite provocative images by the side, the team expected you to pose equally the same or at least giving such vibes with your fellow co-worker. a male voice appeared as you turned to face the owner of the voice, seeing lee sangyeon, the leader of your boyfriend’s group. it was definitely an awkward situation for both of you, especially when sangyeon often saw you hanging around in their dorm during your leisure time. it was too late for both of you to back out and you knew it would only cause an unnecessary scene, leading to a heavy dark weird atmosphere in the studio. therefore, both of you decided to put all the thoughts behind and posed for the camera professionally.
you didn’t dare to bring the issue to your boyfriend, afraid that he would feel weird or distance himself with his leader. that’s the least you want since their group was busy preparing for their comeback. though both of you had busy schedules, there wouldn’t be a time where both of you would empty your time just to meet even though it was only for a few minutes. strangely, both of you had free time during the weekend. your company decided to give you a break during the weekend after your hard work during the weekdays while for your boyfriend, juyeon, the company decided not to pressure them too much. they gave them ample time to rest during the weekends though they still have to practise for plenty of hours. well, better than nothing right? juyeon appreciated everything the company gave to him, thus leading both of you to cuddle in his room. thanks to their recent success, the company managed to provide a new dorm for the members for their own comforts and some chose to have their own rooms while some choose to be roommates with their own members. for juyeon, he preferred being alone and since it was hard for idols to go out for dates, both of you often have your dates in his room. he wasn’t alone to begin with, some members apparently bring their significant others to their dorm too and they planned a conspiracy to not tell their managers. 
“how’s your week going?” his voice was so soothing, it almost brought you to sleep but you didn’t want to waste your free time with him sleeping. being in his arms as he cuddled you on his bed, you snuggled closer to his muscular body, getting a little bit comfortable under the huge comforter. the netflix show that was playing through the projector spontaneously became a music background, both of you weren’t paying much attention to what's showing since it was re-watched for the fifth time. since your arms were wrapping around his waist, you were drawing a circle on the naked skin, defining his packs. “nothing new, just as usual. how about yours? how was the preparation going?” it was your turn to ask him, looking up to face the beloved man in your life. with his right arm under your neck, casually landing his hand on your shoulder, he pulled you closer while rubbing your skin, “tired and stressed. preparing for a comeback would always be so bittersweet.” you nodded, understanding the feeling damn too well since you are an active idol too. “sangyeon leads us very well, i’m glad he’s the leader.” juyeon added, the day of you having a photoshoot with him suddenly flashed in your mind. starting to feel anxious, you fiddled with your fingers and the taller one noticed it. “something wrong?” 
“promise that you won’t get angry.” the doe eyes started to play its role, making juyeon soften by your expression as he gently caressed your hair, tucking them behind your ear before touching your ear. “i won’t promise, but i’ll try my best.” that’s what you like about juyeon. he wasn’t a good liar, nor good at being straight-forward but he’ll always choose the right words to not hurt you. exhaling the breath you didn’t know you held in, you cross-sitting on the mattress, leading the other to sit too while leaning his back against the bed frame. unlocking your phone and immediately going to the gallery, you showed him a few pictures from the previous photoshoot with sangyeon. “the lingerie company i’m currently modelling in just told me that i’ll be working with sangyeon starting from this month's promotion. i didn’t know about it, nor was it mentioned in the contract. both of us were informed right when we arrived at the destination.” you finally confessed the long ago things you’d been wanting to tell him, hoping he won’t be angry for the sudden confession. “i didn’t want to tell you yet because you were busy with your comeback. i didn’t want to make you more stressed, let alone having the intention to make you feel bad..” you bit your lips, head down as your eyes glued to your legs, suddenly found your legs attractive to look on. you expect for a disappointed sigh or the sudden raise in his voice, but instead you earned a chuckle from your boyfriend. 
looking up to face his reaction, it was true that he wasn’t showing any bad feedback at all. he rather gave you a smile before patting his lap and being the obedient girlfriend you are, you wasted no time in climbing to his lap.  “do you think i would get angry at this?” you nodded, earning another chuckle from him as his hands went to grab your chin, the sudden grasp startled you and he forced you to face him. “well you guessed it right. what gave you the right to think that i won’t be angry?” his fingers slowly tracing down to your collarbone, sensually touching them before landing his fingers on each side of your neck. “did you have fun doing the photoshoot with my leader?” you shook your head as a no, reducing the intake of oxygen as he pressed the sides tighter. it can’t be denied, angry and jealous juyeon is one of your favourite genres. “cat got your tongue?” he lowered a few octaves as you shook your head again, “n-no..” his other hand straight went to cup one of your breasts, earning a choked moan from his girlfriend. “i was already mad enough to know that you are modelling for a lingerie company but having sangyeon as your partner? that’s fucking pathetic.” he soon added, “whores like you sure like to play with my friends huh.” 
the sudden flip made you gasped, his strength never failed to impress you as he topped you, lips crashing with yours while fingers ripping every clothes of yours. as soon as your body was only covered by your undergarments, his lips went down to your neck, tongue casually covering your skin with his saliva. “fucking mad that you would agree with such stupid photoshoot,” he groaned against your skin, unclasping your bra to free your boobs and teeth sinked to one of your buds. “f-fuck juyeon-” “it’s sir, understood?” you nodded your head, so close to grip his hair but his hand was quick enough to pin your wrists on your head. “did i allow you to touch me? fucking needy slut who can’t keep her hands.” the pathetic whimpers that escaped from your lips produced beautiful melodies to juyeon’s ears, circling his tongue around your aroused nipples. the way he sucked into your nipples were quite hard to the point you were thinking if milk would suddenly come out but you knew it was impossible since you weren’t pregnant yet. after paying much attention to both of your breasts, his other hand cupped each of them, not wanting to leave it untouched while going south, facing your clothed cunt. letting out a sharp and loud moan, his hands now held your thighs, preventing you from moving much. 
“be quiet or i have no choice but let them know what a whore you are underneath me.” juyeon growled and you nodded, biting your lips from letting out another embarrassing moan. teeth holding onto the band of your panty, he slid it off and threw it somewhere around his room. the sudden emptiness made you whimper, blurting out incoherent words which juyeon assumed you wanted something to be done with your pussy. it was helplessly wet and you were too horny for a foreplay, but you knew you weren’t in control- especially when the angry juyeon was in between your legs. flicking his tongue against your folds, you held in the moan though you were sure soft moans managed to escape, hands gripping the bed sheet tightly. the sounds of your mewl began to reflect the whole room, whoever passing by juyeon’s room would surely knew what both of you were up for. “p-please..” you shook your head erratically, not wanting to get teased by the man beneath you but instead earning a cold silence as he slowly moved his tongue on your clit. “mmmff-” the bite on your lower lips got harsher, your fingers were finding anything that was impossible to hold onto. “sir please, no m-more mmmh,” you rolled your eyes to the back in sudden ecstasy as he left a long lick on your clit. maybe you were too horny or you were sex deprived, the liquid on his face maybe could explain it. 
“wow,” juyeon smirked, wiping the cum on his face with his thumb and licking it, looking up to face you as you were trying to easen your breath. “were you too fucking horny? i barely touch you,” the uneven breath responded to him, you can’t even form a proper sentence to the dominant one. “but above all of them, you came without my permission.” his tone got deeper as he reached for your neck, causing you to choke at the sudden grab. “and you know what sluts like you should do, right?” nodding your head off, switching your position as he now sat on the bed and you were in between his legs. “suck.” he demanded after you struggled taking his shorts off, greeted by the proudly standing wood right in-front of your face. licking the veins that stood out angrily as you pushed the tip into your mouth, slightly gagging at the sudden growth. you were taking too long and it wasn’t exactly what juyeon needed so he held your hair in a ponytail, pushing your mouth to the base and thrusting his hips up, causing you to gag. juyeon often informed you about the safe words and taps if it was getting overwhelming to you and since he didn’t receive any of them yet, he kept on forcing your mouth to his root, letting out a satisfied grunt by the warmth of your mouth. you knew that it was one of his favourite things in sex, well you liked it too, having his huge dick in your mouth. you preferred it more when he gets rough to you and that’s what exactly you got from him. 
bobbing your head according to the rhythm the latter just set to you, closing his eyes as his climax reaching soon. noticing it, popping out with the sound of ‘pop’ before circling your mouth around his tip with your fingers playing with his balls, dangerously close to his hole, deciding to tease him a bit and that would be the worst thing you ever chose to do on that day. tightening the grip on your hair as he yanked you off from his dick, forcing you to face him. “do you have fun teasing the shit out of me? do you think it’s cute to tease me?” you shook your head as a no but only to be responded with a slap on your cheek and hell, that fucking turned you on. “answer me, whore.” “n-no.” “no what?” the overwhelming pleasure was too much for you, pressing your legs tightly as the knot in your stomach was appearing again. “no s-s-sir.” a cheeky smirk could be heard afterwards as he threw you on the bed, hand still on your neck while the other reached to his dick, lining it up to your vaginal hole. “sluts like you should be put into their places back.” 
the sudden thrust into your hole caused you to let out another choked moan as he wasted no time in thrusting his hips against yours, the slapping sounds against wet skins were too obvious to be hidden anymore. following with your pathetic whimpers and sobs, you would have a hard time to face his teammates soon. knocking the breath out from you as he bottomed out, pulling out only to be slamming back into the tight hole of yours. the increase in speed led to another embarrassing moans of yours, incoherent words started to blurt out and the bed cracking against the wall surely left nightmares to whoever was in the dorm. “s-sir, s-sir mmmf sir please,” juyeon somehow managed to catch on what you were saying, raising an eyebrow as his hand went up to caress your hair gently, totally contrasting to the thrusts of his hips. “please what, kitten?” “anything s-sir, any-mmf fuck anything sir. just wanted to c-come,” the tears on the corner of your lips were getting clearer, the pleasures he gave to you were inexplicably good. “then come.” managed to get permission from your boyfriend, back arched as tears fell down, you screamed out loud as soon as you released, giving no fucks that he was still living with his members and some of them were probably having their rests in their own rooms. 
the pretty moan escaping from your lips was soon muffled as his lips caught yours, hips still not stopping from thrusting into you as it got impossibly faster and deeper. you swore you could see the bulge in your stomach and fuck, that made you wet again. “gonna cum in you,” juyeon whispered against your lips as soon as both of you parted off, the thought of breeding you making him insanely turned on and it could be proven by the changes in thrusts. “would you like that?” he asked as you once again nodded erratically, moaning a ‘please’ causing him to smirk, “of course, sluts like you should be breeded.” soon followed by him cumming into you as you could feel the long and thick ropes filling you up. you too were turned on by the thought of getting breeded, not realising that you just squirted on his dick. finishing riding his orgasm out in your hole, juyeon slowly pulled his dick off only to watch some of his cum dripping down to your thighs. the combination of your squirt and his cum on your thighs were putting him over the edge as he leaned in to lap the liquid off, earning a whimper from you as you grip his hairs, shaking your head. “t-too much. too much sir,” you squirmed but he ignored you and that caused you to have your orgasm for the fourth time. 
“good girl, my good girl.” juyeon praised you, giving endless pecks on your lips and forehead, “you did so well for me, princess.” ignoring the mess right in-front of them, he pulled you into a hug, pecking the crown of your head as you snuggled closer to him, finding no strength in moving at all. “did i went too harsh on you?” you shook your head as a no, wrapping your arms tighter around his well-defined waist and rested your head on his chest. “i’m sorry if i did, i got too carried away with my jealousy.” “it’s fine, juyeon. in fact, i like it.” you looked up to him and assured him with a peck on his cheek, responding to his smile. “next time, don’t hesitate to tell me if things like these happen again, okay? i promise i won’t be mad- at least, not like this. plus, you looked too hot for the shoot, guess i was too aroused by it.” you giggled at his sudden confession and nodded, pulling him closer to your body. “i love you.” “i love you too, my princess,” said your boyfriend as he pecked the top of your head again before putting both of you to a quick nap.
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danghyuk · 3 years
Text
BTS having a tall but timid boyfriend
A/N: Request by: @awkfanboy, this is really long (like 2,6k words oof) and I’m sorry it took ages to finish. ​​
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Namjoon:
Namjoon is the tallest member in BTS, and though he’s not used to be the smaller person for once, it’s not a bad thing at all. It’s not before one of his fellow members points it out, that Namjoon starts to notice the slight difference in your heights.
With the slight teasing about how Namjoon isn’t the tallest anymore, especially from the youngest, the older members like Seokjin also starts to hint about and assume your bedroom situation. 
Though Namjoon never comments on it. He’s mature about the teasing and he knows to keep your private matters to himself. In fact, he often refrains himself from smiling due to the rest of the members being so clueless and assuming that your height defines who’s the more dominant. The two of you are not your average heteronormative couple, starting with the both of you not being straight, so why do the same social expectations apply to you in every aspect?
They just continue with the teasing, taking it for granted since Namjoon never says or does anything against their claims. He wants the members to see for themselves rather than correcting them for judging a book by its cover. Because he also assumed that you would take the lead when it came to sex, and Namjoon doesn’t want to appear as a hypocrite. 
So, when he finally introduces you to his fellow band members, he refrains himself from laughing as their expressions one by one changes into pure surprise. None of them can tear their eyes away from the two of you, and being shy, you naturally hide your face into Namjoon’s neck, to which he just smiles and pulls you closer. There’s not really a distinct height difference between the two of you, but it’s still surprising to see your taller and longer frame sitting on Namjoon’s lap. 
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Seokjin:
No one, not even Namjoon believes that you – Seokjin’s tall and intimidating boyfriend, are as shy and cute as he describes you as. “What do I have to do, huh? Drag my small baby to meet all of you hyper kids at the same time?” “Hyung, I’m sure [Name] is a lot of things, but small is not one of them…”
It takes a lot, and I mean a lot, of persuasion (and diversity of bribery) from Jin’s side to make you finally accept the fact that you were going to meet them all at once. A pep talk, murmurs of sweet nothings and loving kisses is a big part of it (and it never fails to make you blush, which Seokjin takes great pleasure in – that sadistic bastard).
Seokjin reassures the rest of his bandmates that he under no circumstances was trying to hide you, but then again no one believes that you’re as shy as he makes you out to be. On the other hand, he resonates with you that he wants the most important people in his life to meet. 
On the big day, neither of you can tell who’s the most nervous judging by both of your clammy hands (Seokjin simply refuses to let go of your hand). He steers you right away towards the couch when you’re done taking off your outerwear because he knows for a fact that you’re not going to be left alone for the entire evening. The couch is therefor the perfect limbo, he can press himself into your taller and warmer frame at the same time as the members can join you.
 Meeting them isn’t as chaotic as you thought it would be, and the members (especially the younger ones) are perplexed, which quickly turns to giddiness. They do not pry much (thanks to Jin’s warning looks and Yoongi’s sharp elbow into Jeongguk’s stomach), but their curious eyes bulge every time your cheeks flush due to Seokjin’s flirty antics, and whenever your hand unconsciously searches for Seokjin’s calming touch. By the end of the day, your boyfriend is wearing a permanent smirk and your ears have never felt warmer due to Seokjin ‘accidentally showing off the long scratch marks on his back. 
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Yoongi: 
Yoongi can be blunt when he wants to, not to mention honest, but there are some aspects of his private life he values too much. One of those being you, of course. The other members know he has a boyfriend of some sort; however, they are rather bad at getting any type of information out of him. Jimin and Seokjin are the nosiest, being two different menaces – one nagging and one too curious for his own good.
From what they have gathered, they know that you are younger than Yoongi and that’s about it. Despite Yoongi rarely opening up when it comes to the boyfriend topic, he does sometimes slip up. Like that one time you changed his lock screen to the two of you and he forgot to change it back.
Despite his fellow band members constantly begging him to introduce you to them, Yoongi declines every time with no room for any argument. What his members don’t know is his reasons for not wanting to introduce you to them just yet. Even after being together for almost four months, you’re still extremely shy and nervous around large groups of people, especially nosy ones. BTS is exactly that and because they’re considered as his second family, he just knows you will be way more nervous meeting them and to give them a good impression of yourself. 
When they do meet you, it is just by accident and poor miscalculations. Yoongi had texted you earlier to come over and with a clear signal that the dorm was empty except him. However, it is not your boyfriend who opens the door for you when you arrive. Jimin, who wasn’t expecting anyone, mirrors your shocked expression as you both stare at each other for a while. He figures out who you are immediately seeing as Yoongi was everything but subtle when he pulled you after him in a hurried manner towards his room, and he doesn’t waste a single second to text everyone about his discovery. 
When the rest of the members arrive back home, they are met with a pretty funny and slightly pathetic sight. You, a 190cm tall male, trying your best to hide behind your much smaller boyfriend. Your much taller form next to the smallest idols in BTS is a sight to take in. Just like Jimin, all of them are shocked by your height, but also how you behave around Yoongi. With looks as sharp as knives from Yoongi, no one dares to look at the two of you too long nor ask the question at the tip of everyone’s tongue. This lasts until Yoongi, by accident again, manages to tug your sweater down and expose your hickey covered throat. 
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Hoseok:
When Hoseok starts to date you, everybody knows it. Before they have even met you, BTS knows what your favourite colour is, how you look when you sleep and how many plants you have. He can’t particularly help it since you’re his favourite topic and honestly, everyone is rather amazed at him not having exposed your relationship. The weird thing, which Yoongi pinpoints every time you are brought up in a conversation, is that they have yet to meet you.
Being constantly reminded by the other’s and not having a good answer as to why they haven’t met you, makes them slightly annoyed. You are already a huge part of Hoseok’s life and it’s not hard to see how much you affect him in every aspect. A single text from you can make his entire day and he wears the same dreamy smile whenever he returns from a date with you. 
There’s nothing else Hoseok wants to do other than introduce you to them, but he respects your comfort zone and takes your feelings into consideration. If you don’t feel ready meeting them, then he’ll wait for you 100%. You’re his adorable boyfriend after all, even with your taller and bigger build, he adores how easy he can make you flush and writhe underneath him.
“Yah! When are you going to introduce your boyfriend to us?” “Soon, I hope. He’s just… really shy.” Whenever Hoseok uses that specific word to describe you, the others have a hard time believing him due to his other stories about you. Luckily, they do not have to wait long before you agree to meet them all.
The first introduction goes like dream, except for the many times you hit your head in the door frames. They are all in awe of your height, whether they voice it out loud or not (like Taehyung asking you if he could get a piggyback ride). Some of them feel slightly guilty for not believing the rapper earlier, though those feelings are quickly brushed away by their curiosity. How come someone so tall has a personality resembling that of a fragile flower? Another thing they learn, to their surprise, is Hoseok’s new favourite hobby – teasing you until you’re hiding in his embrace.
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Jimin: 
The first thing Jimin had noticed when he saw you was your undeniable height, but it wasn’t what drew him towards you. He can’t deny that you look absolutely stunning, with your long legs wrapped in skinny jeans or slacks that make your figure seem as if you’re sculpted by the gods, but he simply can’t enough of your flushed cheeks and you averting your eyes whenever the two of you lock eyes for more than five seconds.
He simply thrives on how completely different you are compared to your looks. Even though he is the smallest in BTS and is relentlessly teased for it, he has absolutely no problem standing at the tip of his toes just to whisper something dirty in your ear, kiss your nape or just tug you down by your collar to meet your lips in a deep kiss. 
Because of Jimin’s never-ending PDA, you’ve gotten quite used to being showered in affection and more used to ignore prying looks, though you can’t stop yourself from blushing whenever he decides he wants to kiss you. And you just know he does it on purpose, that’s a no-brainer because your boyfriend will always, without a doubt, burst out in a cute high-pitched giggle every single time he manages to make you hide behind your own hands. 
Jimin is pretty quick to introduce you to his friends and the first thing they immediately point out are your ridiculous differences in height as if you weren’t aware of it yourselves. Your boyfriend is used to comments like that, but you aren’t and causes you to step behind Jimin- using him as a shield. You’re practically digging your own grave by trying to hide behind your boyfriend, BTS are ruthless and they tease you even more after laughing at your attempt at hiding. 
BTS thinks it’s cute how the two of you compliment yet contrast each other in your relationship. With your tall build and shy nature, it’s easy to imagine your personality as cold and stoic, so, until now you’ve done nothing but turning the other member’s expectations upside down. They still can’t phantom the image of you turning towards Jimin for permission someone asks you to do something or join them. 
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Taehyung:
Like Namjoon, he isn’t really aware of height until he has a hard time kissing you, messing with your hair or jumping at your back for you to carry him. He also tends to forget how tall you actually are because he is a rather spontaneous and impulsive person. It doesn’t bother him even if he has to ask you to bend down time after time, Taehyung just huffs in fake annoyance and simply tugs your head downwards.
Due to your own awkward and timid personality, you feel bad whenever he has to ask you to bend down. Taehyung thinks you’re being ridiculous when you tell him and shows you just how hot he thinks your taller frame really is. That certain event made Taehyung realise in which direction your relationship was establishing and unfolding, and he realised how little he cared whether you took control or not.
The discovery makes him more aware of your sheepish habits and your reserved way of accepting his affections. From how your neck would turn darker whenever he does something you really like or display your relationship – to how you would try to make yourself smaller next to him in the public (he always scolds you for doing so because he’s worried about your posture). 
The two of you have spun your own net of habits around you and your relationship, which you often are unaware of, but when you meet his bandmates, they’re a little thrown off at how you and Taehyung’s dynamics work. You are completely used to your boyfriend making the decisions and don’t think much of it until the rest of BTS, especially Jimin and Hoseok, catch on to who’s really in charge. 
Suddenly you find yourself in the middle of a sexual innuendos and joke battle, and your face feeling as if it’s on fire does anything but defuse the situation. Even after getting Taehyung to save you and sitting in his lap, it’s Seokjin and Jeongguk’s turn to laugh seeing as you’re trapping your smaller boyfriend between you and the couch. Having the build like an intimidating basketball player doesn’t help your case when a little kiss makes into a stuttering and flustered mess. 
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Jeongguk:
Your height is something Jeongguk was jealous of originally before you got together and before he knew that your ‘tall, mysterious and handsome’ appearance is you being too reserved for socialising in large groups of people. Now he just relishes and finds pride in being able to push you down on your couch, bed, floor, whatever to start a heavy makeout session, knowing you love it as much as he does.
He loves to show you off to everyone, everywhere. “Look at my boyfriend, isn’t he gorgeous?” “He’s legit a tree, Jeongguk, but sure.” Having him constantly spewing out compliments and bragging left and right, doesn’t help your shy persona at all and makes you pull out of social interactions more often than not.
Thus, portraying yourself as unapproachable and standoffish to others. BTS has a hard time warming up to you since the first few introductions were brief and pretty awkward for both parts. Even though they’re all impressed by your height, it just adds to your ‘tough guy’ image. Jeongguk doesn’t give up however and tries harder to include you in the group activities. 
Whenever you try to excuse yourself or go somewhere quieter, your boyfriend hurries to pull you back in even if he has to haul your tall ass over his shoulder. It’s quite the sight to see the youngest member dragging his way taller boyfriend after him as if he has no worries. Your flushed expression makes them ponder a bit before they all realise the same. Seokjin even apologies for not being the most welcoming, they just found you slightly intimidating, and of course, that makes you even more flustered as you accept their apology. 
After the big revelation, Jeongguk’s friends watch your interactions with your boyfriend wide-eyed, disappointed in themselves for not having noticed your constant flustered expressions, how you seem to lean on Jeongguk and the fact that it’s the youngest BTS member who initiates all physical contact like kissing you and placing his hands on your thighs. The two of you fit together like a puzzle even if some stereotypical roles are reversed. 
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anasticep · 3 years
Text
Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 1 of 3
· NOTE: if somehow you happen to like my gifs, please, feel free to use them. But, please, don’t crop or change.
· NOTE 2: This meta has been flourishing in my mind for quite a long time, but it was @catty-words meta on Perfect Harmony that inspired me to actually put it all on paper
· NOTE 3: I planned two parts of this, but ended up with far more gifs than a post allows. I dunno. Not sure if anyone will actually be interested in this rumbling. Probably it won’t even be a new and outstanding thinking. I’ll see how it goes.
What sets a good show apart? I’ll tell you exactly this: the pilot and the finale.
Whether it’s a season finale or a grand finale, it doesn’t matter for a scenario. People tend to forget the middle, that’s why all we remember about LOST is this weird full of dead people church that simply left the fans heartbroken. But frankly speaking, LOST ended so much better then most modern shows. And honestly I get why it’s so hard to keep track on things after 6 years and such a long row of characters. That’s why making a season in one take is so much better, when writers do not depend on what the fans think or like or ship. They simply do their job.
Do I need to say that our brain clearly remembers everything we throw at it? We think we forget, but that’s not quite true. That’s also the reason how we distinguish what we like and dislike – we remember all the small things and foreshadowing. Also that’s why we keep re-watching the shows we love: we simply acknowledge what our brain already knows. We simply find that thread that links everything together.
And they can be simple things. But first on what made this script a masterpiece for me: first and last scenes in the studio (+some things from 0102 band circle scene of 0109).
1. The Studio Intro
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In 0101 Julie hesitates to go in the garage. She was reluctant to go in the first place. It signifies everything she’s lost: mother, music, voice. She inhales deeply, steadying herself. She can do this.
In 0109 it’s quite the opposite. She wanted to go there even though she knew the guys had already crossed over. Now this place signifies everything she gained back and more: music, voice, friends and, of course, a way back to her mother. She did it.
And this is a perfect visual explanation of the line “It’s not what you lost, it’s what you gain raising your voice to the rain”
2. The Band Intro
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Can you see it the way I see it? It’s not a coincidence, it’s been done on purpose. Julie is mortified both times but for completely different reasons. In 0101 she is scared OF them. In 0109 she is scared FOR them. It’s so heartbreakingly beautiful it even hurts.
3. Personal space
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In 0101 Julie and Luke are both scared of each other. See that extra step she did to push him away? Or the way he acts as if Julie is really a witch that could curse him? And who needs any personal space in 0109? These scenes show their journey in the best way possible.
4. You have to leave
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In 0101 after accepting the fact that she was sane enough and these three ghosts really existed Julie is simply annoyed. She orders them to leave. She doesn’t what them to exist in her life. She has no time to deal with these dead cute boys. She wants them gone.
In 0109 after acknowledging that their plan has failed she also wants them gone. She orders them to leave again. But she wants to save them and for now that’s the only way she can think of. It’s better than not existing at all, even if it means not existing in her life.
And just look at the directing. The shots are almost twins! Julie mimics the scene from 0101 almost entirely, although it hits on a different level. I don't exactly know why it makes me so excited, probably I'm just very tired of mediocre scripts.
5. Maybe she’s a witch
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I’m sure she is at least to some extent. It’s such a wonderful foreshadowing. I hope in season 2 we'll find out more but I think the perception on this in "Feels like I’ve opened my eyes again" by @pink-flame is very close if not almost entirely accurate to what I thought about season 2 and all this magic thing. Such a masterpiece of a fanfiction btw, I wish I found the show sooner and was reading it chapter by chapter. One of the best things I've read so far in any fandom.
6. Attached to our souls & 7. She's warming up to us
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Do I need to say much? That’s the magic Julie has: her love for these boys. They are attached to her soul.
8. We had nowhere else to go
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To think about it, they didn’t need Julie’s permission to stay in the first place. Like… How on earth would she even get rid of them? But that’s what defined these friendship from the start. They asked for permission in 0101 and in 0109 Luke’s words are almost apologetic that they ended up in her garage again.
9. I'm sorry we came into your life
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Again, look at how both episodes have been shot. 0101 they stand apart, not knowing anything about each other yet. They both are not very comfortable with the whole situation and Luke voices what Julie might be thinking: why me? In 0109 Julie answers her past self that it was a blessing and a miracle. They are the closest they've ever got to be and the most sincere.
10. I have space for only one more gif and I'm simply fond of this parallel. We need a Witch!Julie AU)))))
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________________________
Due to the pics limit I have to stop here. But there is so much more to say. So stay tuned to see Parts two and three if you liked this one. God, I hope you did
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uelden · 3 years
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Vanity Fair interview translated
Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.
I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.
Translation under the cut
Måneskin: "Different from whom?"
by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021
"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything
With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.
In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.
It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.
To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]
We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]
Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon
"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas
"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano
From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight
"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria
The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre
"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano
Against panic – The stage as therapy
"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria
Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you
"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano
Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]
"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano
The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it
"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan
Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom
"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria
Sexism – A culture to be dismantled
"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano
Grow yourself – The only commandment
"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan
"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria
Love in progress – Music, girlfriends
"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan
"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas
"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria
"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano
The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection
"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas
I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]
"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano
Having touched the sky – The fears that remain
"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano
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olderthannetfic · 3 years
Note
I'm a Chinese, nationally and racially. Racial projection seems to be a common practice in western fandom, doesn't it? I find it a bit... weird to witness the drama ignited upon shipping individuals with different races, or the tendency to separate characters into different "colors" even though the world setting doesn't divide races like that. Such practice isn't a thing here. Mind explaining a bit on this phenomenon?
--
Sure, I can try. But of course, fish aren’t very good at explaining the water they swim in.
Americans aren’t good at detecting our own Americanness, and a lot of what you’re seeing is very much culturally American rather than Western in general. (In much of Europe, “race” is a concept used by racists, or so I’m told, unlike in the US where it’s seen more neutrally.) Majority group members (i.e. me, a white girl) aren’t usually the savviest about minority issues, but I’ll give it a shot.
The big picture is that most US race stuff boils down to our attempts to justify and maintain slavery and that dynamic being applied, awkwardly, to everyone else too, even years after we abolished slavery.
There’s a concept called the “one drop rule” where a person is “black” if they have even one drop of black blood.
We used to outlaw “interracial” marriage until quite recently. (That meant marriage between black people and white people with Asians and Hispanic people and others wedged in awkwardly.) Here’s the Wikipedia article on this, which contains the following map showing when we legalized interracial marriage. The red states are 1967.
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That’s within living memory for a ton of people! Yellow is 1948 to 1967. This is just not very long ago at all. (Hell, we only fully banned slavery in 1865, which is also just not that long ago when it comes to human culture.)
Why did we have this bananas-crazy set of laws and this idiotic notion that one remote ancestor defines who you are? It boils down to slavery requiring a constant reaffirming that black people are all the same (and subhuman) while white people are all this completely separate category. The minute you start intermarrying, all of that breaks down. This was particularly important in our history because our system of slavery involved the kids of slaves being slaves and nobody really buying their way out. Globally, historically, there are other systems of slavery where there was more mobility or where enslaved people were debtors with a similar background to owners, and thus the people in power were less threatened by ambiguity in identity.
Post-slavery, this shit hung around because it was in the interests of the people in power to maintain a similar status quo where black people are fundamentally Other.
A lot of our obsession with who counts as what is simply a legacy of our racist past that produced our racist present.
--
The other big factor in American concepts of identity is that we see ourselves as a nation of immigrants (ignoring our indigenous peoples, as usual). A lot of people’s families arrived here relatively recently, and we often don’t have good records of exactly where they were from, even aside from enslaved people who obviously wouldn’t have those records. Plenty of people still identify with a general nationality (”Italian-American” and such), but the nuance the family might once have had (specific region of Italy, specific hometown) is often lost. Yeah, I know every place has immigrants, and lots of people don’t have good records, but the US is one of those countries where families have on average moved around a lot more and a lot more recently than some, and it affects our concepts of identity. I think some of the willingness to buy into the idea of “races” rather than “ethnicities” has to do with this flattening of identity.
New immigrant groups were often seen as Other and lesser, but over time, the ones who could manage it got added to our concept of “whiteness”, which gave them access to those same social and economic privileges.
Skin color is a big part of this. In a system that is founded on there being two categories, white owners and black slaves, skin color is obviously going to be about that rather than being more of a class marker like it is in a lot of the world.
But it’s not all about skin color since we have plenty of Europeans with somewhat darker skin who are seen as generically white here, while very pale Asians are not. I’m not super familiar with all of the history of anti-Asian racism in the US, but I think this persistent Otherness probably boils down to Western powers trying to justify colonial activities in Asia plus a bunch of religious bullshit about predominantly Christian nations vs. ones that are predominantly Buddhist or some other religion.
In fact, a lot of racist archetypes in English can be traced back to England’s earliest colonial efforts in Ireland. Justifying colonizing Those People because they’re subhuman and/or ignorant and in need of paternalistic rulers or religious conversion is at the bottom of a lot of racist notions. Ironic that we now see Irish people as clearly “white”.
--
There are a lot of racist porn tropes and racist cultural baggage here around the idea of black people being animalistic. Racist white people think black men want to rape/steal white women from white men. Black women get seen as hypersexual and aggressive. If this sounds like white people projecting in order to justify murder and rape... well, it is.
Similar tropes get applied to a lot of groups, often including Hispanic and Middle Eastern people, though East Asians come in more for creepy fantasies about endlessly submissive and promiscuous women. This nonsense already existed, but it was certainly not helped by WWII servicemen from here and their experiences in Asia. Again, it’s a projection to justify shitty behavior as what the party with less power was “asking for”.
In porn and even romance novels, this tends to turn up as a white character the audience is supposed to identify with paired with an exotic, mysterious Other or an animalistic sexy rapist Other.
A lot of fandoms are based on US media, so all of our racist bullshit does apply to the casting and writing of those, whether or not the fic is by Americans or replicating our racist porn tropes.
(Obviously, things get pretty hilarious and infuriating once Americans get into c-dramas and try to apply the exact same ideas unchanged to mainstream media about the majority group made by a huge and powerful country.)
--
Politically, within the US, white people have had most of the power most of the time. We also make up a big chunk of the population. (This is starting to change in some areas, which has assholes scared shitless.) This means that other groups tend to band together to accomplish shared political goals. They’re minorities here, so they get lumped together.
A lot of Americans become used to seeing the world in terms of “white people” who are powerful oppressors and “people of color” who are oppressed minorities. They’re trying to be progressive and help people with less power, and that’s good, but it obviously becomes awkward when it’s over-applied to looking at, say, China.
--
Now... fandom...
I find that fandom, in general, has a bad habit of holding things to double standards: queer things must be Good Representation™ even when they’re not being produced for that purpose. Same for ethnic minorities or any other minority. US-influenced parts of fandom (which includes a lot of English-speaking fandom) tend to not be very good at accepting that things are just fantasy. This has gotten worse in recent years.
As fandom has gotten more mainstream here, general media criticism about better representation (both in terms of number of characters and in terms of how they’re portrayed) has turned into fanfic criticism (not enough fics about ship X, too many about ship Y, problematic tropes that should not be applied to ship X, etc.). I find this extremely misguided considering the smaller reach of fandom but, more importantly, the lack of barriers to entry. If you think my AO3 fic sucks, you can make an account and post other fic that will be just as findable. You don’t need money or industry connections or to pass any particular hurdle to get your work out there too.
People also (understandably) tend to be hypersensitive to anything that looks like a racist porn trope. My feeling is that many of these are general porn tropes and people are reaching. There are specific tropes where black guys are given a huge dick as part of showing that they’re animalistic and hypersexual, but big dicks are really common in porn in general. The latter doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing the former unless there are other elements present. A/B/O or dubcon doesn’t mean it’s this racist trope either, not unless certain cliched elements are present. OTOH, it’s not hard for a/b/o tropes to feel close to “animalistic guy is rapey”, so I can see why it often bothers people.
A huge, huge, huge proportion of wank is “all rape fantasies are bad” crap too, which muddies the waters. I think a lot of people use “it’s racist” as an easy way to force others to agree with their incorrect claims that dubcon, noncon, a/b/o, etc. are fundamentally bad. Many fans, especially white fans, feel like they don’t know enough to refute claims of racism, so they cave to such arguments even when they’re transparently disingenuous.
--
Not everyone here thinks this way. I know plenty of people offline, particularly a lot of nonwhite people, who think fandom discourse is idiotic and that the people “protecting” people or characters of color are far more racist than the people writing “bad” fic or shipping the wrong thing.
But in general, I’d say that the stuff above is why a lot of us see the world as white people in power vs. everyone else as oppressed victims, interracial relationships as fraught, and porn about them as suspect. Basically, it’s people trying to be more progressive and aware but sometimes causing more harm than good when those attempts go awry.
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meerkatandthesloth · 2 years
Text
Excellence
Right now, the sloth and I are obsessed with this group of singers and dancers called Ateez. They’re fun, they're energetic, they're gorgeous and best of all, they're absolutely fantastic at what they do.
Ateez is based in Korea, which is why you might not have heard of them, although they’re gaining global recognition pretty fast. I’m intentionally not calling them a K-pop group because I don’t like the term. Specifically, I don’t like how, depending on where an artist is from, their origin is seen as a defining characteristic of their work. Korean pop singers produce K-pop. Japanese pop singers produce J-pop. But I haven't heard the term A-pop before, because if you're an American pop singer, what you produce is simply pop. The word 'K-pop' suggests that all Korean pop songs are more similar to each other than they are to any other pop music produced around the world. Generalizations like that are not only unnecessary and inaccurate, they can be harmful. In this instance, to Korean artists. Have you ever heard someone say 'I don't like K-pop' after hearing one or two songs by one specific band? The term K-pop puts a wide variety of works and musicians in one box, which is unnecessary, disrespectful and limiting. In my opinion. Anyway, we've come a bit off topic.
The reason I’m obsessed with Ateez is because they boost my motivation to do well. Don't worry. I am not an aspiring musician running after my idols and producing my own hopeful yet sadly lacking interpretations of their work. Far from it. I can't even read sheet music. I am a horse trainer. But that's not the point.
The point is excellence. Competitors at an athletics championship, a duo of brilliant acrobats at a small circus, a fantastic comedian and pianist with his own show, a superb actor, a great book; all of these have given me this big boost of motivation before. I just love it when people are good at what they do. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than seeing someone do what they love, what they’re born to do, and do it well. It doesn’t matter what it is that people are doing. If it has that feeling of true talent and ability, it gets me going.
Right now, that is Ateez. The members of Ateez are insanely talented, they obviously love what they do to the core and they work super hard to get better every chance they get. And you see that passion and that discipline in every move they make. Watching them is watching excellence. To me, that is pure inspiration. All it takes right now is an Ateez song for me to go out in the cold and the rain, work an hour longer, train another horse, face a situation I am scared of, and then do yoga in the evening to improve my physical abilities. Because witnessing excellence makes me want to go out and work hard towards excellence myself.
Do other people feel like that? Do you ever watch someone and feel like you're seeing skill in its purest form? And does that not only give you joy but also an almost desperate desire to reach that height, to climb the mountain where those giants live, and to be one of them? I do hope so, because riding that wave of inspiration is a great feeling, and it can carry you far even on days when you're too tired to walk.
So thank you, excellent people, for your time, for your sweat and your tears. I hope you know that your hard work may lift up not only yourselves but other who appreciate your skill and whom you inspire to reach for the stars. I hope you know that your accomplishments have the power to change lives, maybe in small ways, but with important impacts. Your strength can give strength to others. I hope I can do the same for someone someday.
-weird always, meerkat
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thepettymachine · 4 years
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A Different Kind of Jam Legacy Challenge for TS3
Honestly I just wanted to make another challenge that involved colors and had a theme but then it changed into something completely different so I thought I share. 
The Jam Legacy is a 9 generation legacy challenge based on fruits you can put into jams/jellies and has a specific color palette if you choose to go with it. Each generation is a quirky bunch and meant for some weird gameplay. So if you enjoy weird gameplay, nice fall colors, and maybe 9 generations of fun, this might be your jam.
For those who wish to do this in TS4, @nadzicle​ created an excellent conversion  of this.
Tag: jam legacy or “@” me
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Rules:
All requirements that are needed for the generation are in the “Ingredients” section. 
Have fun and do what you want.
Gen 1: Strawberry
Everyone loves strawberries. They are sweet and popular just like you. You love getting to talk and meet new people at every chance you get and everyone loves how friendly you are. But your desire to help people has been the main driving point in your life. As you tend to others, you also tend to neglect taking care of yourself. As a workaholic, your house is a mess, your children don’t get to see you anymore, and your personal life is in shambles. Need to take some PTO if you ask me. 
How to make Strawberry:
Ingredients:
Career: Doctor
LTW: Super Popular
2 Traits - Workaholic & Slob
20 Friends
Skill - Charisma
Directions:
Must have the Workaholic and Slob traits
Have 20 friends and maintain those relationships until the next generation.
Neglect your children’s skills (No teaching toddler skills, helping with homework or teaching teens to drive)
Can only clean the house once a week.
Must cancel any other interaction and no outside help
Master the Charisma skill
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇ ◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
Gen 2: Peach
Peaches are nice and juicy, just like your creative process. You enjoy creating as it brings joy to you and those around you. But as a child, your parents neglected you as they were focused on anything and everything but you. So you found love from others and in other places where you felt like you mattered. You deserve a treat and you also treat your children to whatever they want. They’re spoiled rotten.  
How to make Peach:
Ingredients: 
Career: Self Employed (Painter/Writer/Sculptor)
LTW: Illustrious Author
3 skills - Painting, Sculpting, and Writing
10 Lovers
Found Family
5,000 dollars
Children
Directions: 
Master the Painting, Sculpting, and Writing skills.
Have 10 different lovers throughout your lifetime/at the same time
Go to the spa/stylist once a week because you deserve it
Have a maximum of 5,000 in household funds. Any amount over you spend on unnecessary items/furniture/activities
Have a close relationship with your children (spoil them rotten)
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Gen 3: Grape
You’ve always had a dream where you had a big beautiful ranch that would allow for you to take care of your horses in peace as you flaunt your wealth to those who envy you. But working hard for that money is just too much of a hassle unless someone has already done the work for you. If you want to maintain your dream, I guess you gotta marry big or have them die trying. In the meantime, you invest your money into the local businesses around town and have a side gig for nectar making. Then invite those haters to your ranch only for them to be reminded just how much better you are than them. Have a sip of that wine.
How to make Grape:
Ingredients:
Career: Equestrian
LTW: The Jockey
Skills: Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding
3 pieces of property
2-3 horses
A ranch
Directions:
Own a ranch/farm that’s worth more than $150,000+
Have 2-3 horses
Master the Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding skills
Host a big party at least once a week
Own 3 pieces of property in town
Win a competition on the highest level for Racing
Marry a rich sim and have them mysteriously die from unknown circumstances
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Gen 4: Plum
You’ve always believed that the universe has the answers to the questions you’ve always wondered. Like why is the sky blue? What really happened to Bella Goth? Was my parent really killed for the insurance money or the inheritance of the ranch? Sometimes these questions are left unanswered which is why you investigate the truth, supernatural or not, because it is waiting out there to be solved. Might as well document it for the views. 
How to make Plum:
Ingredients:
Career: Private Investigator
LTW: Pervasive Private Eye
Skills: Logic and Social Networking
A 5 star blog
1 death
1 death flower
A death cure (ambrosia & death fish)
Directions:
Master the Logic and Social Networking skill
Have a 5 star blog
Have a death flower in your inventory so you can meet the Grim Reaper and beat death once
Have a sour relationship with your living parent and bring back your dead parent (if you can/applicable)
Be turned into a supernatural and then find the cure to be turned back (optional to be human again)
Be abducted by aliens and have an alien child.
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Gen 5: Pumpkin
There’s always been an obsession with finding ways to tinker and fix things with you. You’ve always  found comfort in creating something with your bare hands and you tend to enjoy your own company and make few friends since you live far away from everyone else. It’s mostly because you need the space for your inventions and experiments with time travel. Wait what?!You also pride yourself by living off your own land and deciding not to feast on your animal companions you find in the wilderness as they are your only friends.
How to make Pumpkin
Ingredients: 
Career: Inventor
LTW: Renaissance Sim
Skills: Inventing, Handiness, and Science
3 children
5 woodland creatures
Trait: Vegetarian
Directions:
Master the Inventing, Handiness, and Science skills
One of your children have to be from the time machine
No more than 3 kids in the household
House must be as far away from the town as possible
Own at least 5 small pets in your home.
Everything you cook must come from your garden, so no grocery shopping from the fridge
Must have the Vegetarian trait.
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Gen 6: Pomegranate
As a child, you’ve always wanted to see the sights and travel from your little corner of the world. But your heart has always yearned for a big family you never received for when you were younger. To have two worlds come together, you decide to do most of your traveling in spring/summer and stay at home in the fall/winter seasons. When you’re at home, you spend time with your children and cook their favorite meals all while joined by the fire. And when you’re not at home, you are traveling those big adventures you’ve always dreamed of doing and to bring home the stories and souvenirs your loved ones will enjoy. What a good life indeed.
How to make Pomegranate:
Ingredients:
Career: Stay at Home Parent
LTW: Seasoned Traveler
5 children
Skill - Cooking
Directions:
Spouse has to be from a different world than you
Have 5 children and have a great relationship with all of them
Master the Cooking skill
Celebrate each holiday at least once.
Cook everyone’s favorite meal at least once
Own a complete collection of artifacts from any destination
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Gen 7: Orange
Listening to stories growing up about meeting new people and exploring new worlds has put the call of adventure into your heart. But with the limited time in this world and so many resources on your hands, you’re kinda indecisive about what to do. So basically you just do about everything on an impulsive whim. Joined a band, check. Streak in public, check. Fought a shark, check. Got eaten by a cowplant and lived, check. Turn everybody into a zombie, thought about it. Go to the future and create a dystopian future, oh there’s an idea. Yeah you’re not settling for a while. Not until you find your greatest adventure.
How to make Orange:
Ingredients:
LTW: Jack of all Trades
1 best friend
10 skills
10 jobs
3 moves
1 great adventure
Directions:
Know 10 skills but never master any of them
Spend your life finding the greatest adventure that no one else in your family has done before.
Greatest adventure is defined by you and what you believe is an adventure.
Marry your best friend as an adult
Move 3 times in your lifetime
Have at least 10 jobs under your belt (but you don’t have to reach the highest level in any of them)
Do the most dangerous inappropriate stuff at least 3 times a week.
Streaking/Skinny dipping/making out with a married person/fighting a child/etc
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Gen 8: Kumquat
You can’t stand the status quo of things and you definitely can’t stand the injustice that society normalizes. So something has to change, rather through art or always fighting the system, you believe in changing the world. One step at a time. 
How to make Kumquat
Ingredients:
LTW: Street Credible
Rebel Status
2 local protests
1 skill - Street art
3 enemies
1 change to the world
Directions:
Pull pranks as a teenager on all your neighbors
Get kicked out of college
Reach level 10 of the Rebel status
Protest at least 2 times a week
Master the Street art skill
Have 3 enemies
Can not have a typical career/9-5 job
Contribute to the future - create a utopia/dystopia for the future, become a politician as an adult or become a teacher to teach the youth. Up to you. 
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Gen 9. Blackberry
Growing up, you’ve learned how to always fight for the things you love. Through the strums of your guitar, you’ve created a melody that others can get behind when they are sad, angry, or happy. It’s the battle cry of your performance and the applause of the crowds that keep you going. It’s just that sometimes you wish you had someone to keep you going when things get rough as well. At least you have your bandmates, right?
How to make Blackberry
Ingredients:
LTW: One Sim Band
Career: Band member/Singer
4 Skills: Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass
2 failed relationships
1 comeback tour
1 true love/soulmate
Directions:
Master the Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass Skills
Create/Join a Band
Have 2 failed relationships before finding the one
True Love Checklist - Attractive, Compatible Sign, 2 similar traits, and the Virtuoso trait
Become a 5 star celebrity
Quit the band to have a solo career as a Singer
Reunite as elders for your comeback tour
Thank you for trying this challenge. Feedback is always welcomed.
Edit: 10/22/21
700 notes · View notes
five-rivers · 3 years
Note
Oooh, I just saw the big about prompts!
“Blessings of rot and petrichor, my prince. May you have a home in the dark, and may the distant stars you reach for never fade.”
(Can be inspiration or an actual quote; do what ya want! :P)
The world ended on a Saturday, and it wasn’t Danny’s fault.  Even if that Saturday happened to be his sixteenth birthday.  
Okay, maybe that was a bit overdramatic.  But, honestly, neither he nor anyone else he’d ever spoken to knew why or how things had turned out this way.  Just that, one morning, reality shook, shuddered, and took a few steps to the left.  
Humanity woke to green-streaked skies, a rainbow sun, and a lot more universe than they were used to.  So did ghosts.  
This was a problem.  It might even be deemed the problem.  Humans and ghosts didn’t exactly get along, and even when neither the ghosts nor the humans involved particularly wanted to fight, the new laws of nature and the few who did want to fight tended to ruin things for everyone else.  (Cough, GIW, cough, Walker, cough.)
Hence the end of the world.  Or, at least, most large-scale governments.  
It could have been worse.
Amity Park stopped being a city that day, fragmented with Ghost Zone wilderness, landscape and spatial dimensions shattered in a spiderweb centered on Fentonworks, the portal a wellspring of wild power and unpredictable translocations.  Danny had worried that the portal had been the cause of the whole thing, but Amity Park was far from the only place with similar issues (look at New York), and Danny eventually was able to accept that not every bad ghost-related thing that happened was on him.  
(Probably.)
Honestly, once everything calmed down a bit, the new world was much more comfortable, physically and mentally, for Danny to live in.  Which was weird, but made sense.  The new world was split between human and ghost, just like him.  It was everyone else who was uncomfortable, now.  
Which, again, he felt guilty about, but, yeah.  He couldn’t do anything about that, so feeling guilty was counterintuitive.  Thank you, tiny Jazz in his head.  
It was Saturday again.  Time for the market fair.  
“Mom and Dad are already out?” asked Danny, leaning over the banister.  
“Yeah,” said Jazz, not looking up from her work transcribing an old ghost text into something more palatable to human eyes.  She adjusted her green lenses to sit closer to her eyes.  “An hour or two ago.  Some guys from Chicago came in last night, apparently, and they wanted to get a head start.”
“Okay,” said Danny.  “I’m going, too.  You want anything?”
“Nope.  I’d be going myself if I did,” said Jazz.  
“You sure?  Nothing for dinner?”  
“Nope, I’m all set.”
“Cool,” said Danny, padding towards the door.  He pulled his nice, dark coat, the one he’d gotten from Dora, off the hook, and shrugged into it, pulling up the hood.  
“No shoes today?” asked Jazz, who had finally looked up.  
“Eh,” said Danny.  “I guess not.  Doesn’t really feel like a shoe kind of day.”  He flexed his toes.
“Well, avoid blackberries, then,” said Jazz.  
“They should avoid me,” joked Danny.  “Good luck with that book!”
“Thanks,” said Jazz, waving as Danny left.  
Fentonworks was the same tall, brick-and-UFO building as it had always been, but now it stood alone on top of a small hill rising from a distinctly purple forest.  The dark grass waved back and forth like the tentacles of a sea anemone.  Bright green portal streaks, cracks in reality, stood out against the foliage, along with a few other buildings that had once belonged to the Fentons’ neighborhood.  The sun was blue today, but Danny predicted it would be green by nightfall.  
Danny walked down the path, the dirt on it declining to adhere to Danny’s feet.  He hummed, quietly, a tune he half-remembered from before the apocalypse.  He would not be walking all the way to the market fair, it was too far.  His parents had taken the Speeder.  
Danny, on the other hand, had a shortcut.  
He reached one of the portal-fractures and passed through to a part of the forest where the trees whispered to one another.  He took a moment to reorient himself, and continued to the next portal fracture.  
As far as he knew, he was the only person who could reliably travel like this.  He could have flown, but the market fair was busy, and he preferred to maintain his peaceful life.  Phantom was still a celebrity in Amity Park.  Even more so now, than before, as ghosts were no longer shot on sight.  
Some ghosts even came to Amity Park’s market fair.  
He walked through a wider-than-usual fracture which deposited him just outside the main fragment of Amity Park, near the erstwhile mall.  The mall and its attached parking lot being the place the market fair took place.  
It was busy.  There were trucks stamped with the seal of Illinois parked on the edges, presumably belonging to the delegation from Chicago.  There seemed to be more ghosts than usual as well, enough of them to make Danny shiver.   Had they come from Chicago, or was it just a coincidence?  If they had, that would be nice.  Chicago had a lot of local influence, and was one of the places that was still trying to hold together something like a national government.  If they accepted ghosts, others would follow more readily.  
Peace between the two worlds in places other than Amity Park would be very nice.  
Danny wandered down the paths of the market fair, not in any particular hurry to get to his parents’ booth.  He was always more interested in the other things at the fair.  Even if he rarely bought anything.  
People seemed to be mostly moving in one direction.  No, they were being drawn in one direction, with people tugging their companions onward.  Danny, not having anything better to do, went with the flow.  
Which led back to where the Chicago delegation was set up.  Several people were standing in front of the trucks, arguing.  
“How can you lose an entire bevy of ghosts?” demanded the man who appeared to be in charge.  
The target of his ire merely shrugged.  
“Can’t lose people like that, bub!” shouted someone from the crowd.  There was a titter of laughter.  
“Didn’t you have a big, fancy announcement, fed?” 
More laughter.  
“Yeah, what did you want to say?”  This voice had an echo to it, and the the man looked extremely aggrieved.  
Nevertheless, he took a deep breath.  “We were led to believe,” he said, cheek jumping, “by certain ghosts, that there was a way to negotiate with the ghosts and... reverse this nonsense.”
Wow.  So, Chicago got scammed.  That could have repercussions.  Danny hoped Amity Park wouldn’t see too much of the fallout.  
“Wouldn’t you jump on any chance to stop this?” demanded the man in response to the jeers, gesturing at the sky and its pulsing bands of light.  
“Tell us a better story!” shouted Ember, who had struck up a much more cordial relationship with Amity Park after the apocalypse.  “One that we’ll remember!”
The man turned away, throwing his hands in the air.  “Go find them!” he shouted, presumably to his subordinates. 
The crowd broke up.  
Danny was curious.  It was one of his defining characteristics, both as a human and as a ghost.  He followed one of the Chicagoans as they walked into the market turning this way and that.  
“So,” he said, “what story was your boss fed?”
The woman jumped and looked down at him, disconcerted.  (Yes, he was short.  That wasn’t his fault.  Except that it probably was, via the portal accident.)
The woman sighed.  “Why not, it’ll be out before too long.  We were told that the rightful king of ghosts was in hiding here, or something stupid like that.  I don’t think they ever said he could fix the world, even.  Only that he could be negotiated with.”  She kicked the ground.  “This is so stupid.  There’s no ghost king.  This is never going to get fixed.”
“It’s not so bad, is it?” asked Danny.  
“How old even were you when it happened.  Ten?” asked the woman.  
“Excuse me, I was sixteen,” said Danny, crossing his arms.  
“That’s cute,” said the woman, dragging her hand down her face.  “You’re like thirteen, tops.  Not nineteen.  Jesus.  Go bother someone else, kid.”
Danny rolled his eyes.  “Well, you aren’t wrong that there’s no ghost king.  Last guy who called himself that got beaten up and locked in a sarcophagus forever.”
Then, just to mess with her, because she’d been rude, Danny turned invisible and left before she turned around.  
Now...  He should probably try to warn people about the scam artist ghosts.  Or would they know from the other people watching?  
Danny flicked back into visibility and continued perusing the various stalls, making small talk with the owners, bringing up the Chicagoans when it was appropriate.  
He was passing by the covered entrance of the mall, one of the most crowded spots in the market fair, when his ghost sense went off, indicating an unfamiliar ghost was nearby.  He scanned the crowd for the ghost.  He didn’t have to look very hard.  Strange ghosts tended to draw eyes, even in Amity Park.  
Especially ones that looked like this.  Inhumanly tall, cloaked, and moving smoothly.  Glimpses under their hoods showed faces riddled with decay- or at least the appearance of decay.  The three of them held instruments.  Flute, drum, and summoning bell.
Danny stood to the side to let them pass.  After all, they weren’t doing anything bad as far as he could see.  
They did not.  Instead, they stopped in front of Danny.  Typical.  
Then they started playing their instruments.  And kneeling.  
Aaaand the crowd was getting bigger.  There was the person from Chicago, too.  Could he escape without turning invisible with all this attention on him?
Probably not without showcasing his ghost powers.  There were people who knew him in this crowd.  Like Paulina.  And Star.  
“Um,” said Danny.  “Hi?”
The leading ghost looked up as the sun’s light turned emerald green.  
“Blessings of rot and petrichor, my prince. May you have a home in the dark, and may the distant stars you reach for never fade.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Danny saw the Chicagoan’s jaw drop.  
“I think you might have the wrong guy,” said Danny.  “I’m not anyone’s prince.”
The ghost grinned, sharp and white.  “We came to give our blessings, my prince.  You do not need to accept them for them to exist.  We offer, also, our service and our hope in this new world that you are so suited for.”
Yeah.  This was going to be a problem.  
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alottamoney · 2 years
Note
Hi sorry in advance for this long mess.
I’ve been an avid lurker on your blog, and a couple other taekook blogs, but I feel that you have the most… Hm grounded or maybe even cynical view on taekook as a couple. It’s refreshing, but it also makes me uncertain on what you actually think about them. Don’t take this in a negative way, it’s just me having a hard time understanding what you are insinuating in your responses at times. Like, do you find it obvious that they are together that you don’t feel the need to actually say it, or are you completely neutral on the matter? I really like this blog, but I sometimes get confused, maybe because I’m not in those twitter spaces where every wild discussion about them take place and I’m missing a point somewhere. I guess it doesn’t really matter what your opinion about them is, but it gets easier for me to understand your responses if I know where you are coming from.
Anyway!
I really try to be objective about taekook, and sometimes I see things that make me doubt everything, and sometimes I become so convinced they are a thing I can’t stop thinking about it. There a so many instances, such as the b-day wishes yesterday, that mean both so much and so little. To me, the “bbro”-thing could be anything! A way to make things not so obvious (if jk left it out it would seem weird since all the other members said it), or maybe it’s just that they are “bros” and nothing more?! But. I definitely believe the pictures were planned, they (tkk) talked to each other about it before posting. It’s not just tae posting a pic of the two to make jk embarrassed or whatever, they planned to release the picture for everybody to see. For what reason? Maybe none. Why did tae single out jk in the tweet? I saw someone on Reddit jokingly comment that it seemed as if he kicked jk out of the band and that he didn’t count as a member anymore because jk posted a funny picture of him. There are a lot of none-shippers in the fandom or just casual fans giving completely neutral views on the members (specifically popular ships) interactions and actually most of the time those comments feel completely justified because why would any of the members actually be anything more than just friends and co-workers? The shipper side of me likes to to see tkk together and would love it if they were a couple, and the rational side supports them no matter the nature of their relationship. But this two sided thing I have going on is making it hard to know when I have my objective-glasses on and when I don’t and I’m biased af… Is it the same for you? Or maybe you aren’t a shipper at all?
(Sorry again that is so long… I’ve never talked about tkk to anyone and I have so many thoughts I want to discuss, but i thought I’d start somewhere…)
- f.L
Hello f.L,
I laughed a bit, especially at that “cynical” comment. After having spent enough time in this fandom and seeing all the theories of Taekook being: bros who drifted apart, star-crossed lovers, cheating on each other, being in open relationships, and just doing the most in general, I always considered my take on their relationship rather simple, optimistic even. I guess I do have a low tolerance for certain things, so I understand why you may be confused. I think Taekook have a romantic relationship, I obviously don't know and I can't define it because where to even start? lol Idk if that clears it up.
I don't think anyone is truly objective, we all have biases. Saying they're not dating is an opinion and that's okay but I think being neutral in this scenario means not having an opinion on their dating life which is why non-shippers are not neutral or unbiased and I know that because even in the example you gave, the redditor seemed to have missed the fact that all the members posted funny pictures of Tae, some even captioned it with a joking love confession. Do we really need a non-romantic explanation for a public birthday post that has "bro" in it? Jungkook could've posted "Happy Birthday Husband" and I still wouldn't take it as some sort of coming out and I assume that's the case for most of us. Context is important.
I do agree, however, that the birthday post means both so much and so little. I personally think Jungkook was gonna skip this year too but felt peer pressured and chose the path of least resistance lol I think Tae having the un-cropped (less cropped?) pic on hand is the more interesting part.
Feel free to share more of your thoughts.💜 
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love-takes-work · 3 years
Text
Steven Universe: End of an Era: Outline & Review
I wrote this review in October but never got around to posting it here
Steven Universe: End of an Era is far more than an art book–it’s also a collection of behind-the-scenes material, stories about the experience of working on the show, planning documents and associated background info, and both older versions of developed concepts AND concepts that never made it into the show. It's a huge fusion of all those elements, and it's definitely an experience!
Some low-quality images are included with my review just to give you an idea of what’s there--it’s not a good substitute for getting your own copy, but here’s a tour!
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Like the previous concept art book, Art and Origins, I'll be giving you a description of the structure and overview, while also collecting notable information for fans. Obviously just about everything is "notable" once again, but I'll aim for unique insight or perspective on the main source material, keeping the screaming about everything new to a minimum so you can also enjoy something for yourself if you pick it up. My low-quality photos should prevent people from feeling like I'm reproducing the book in any capacity. Please grab one while you can and have your own experience!
[SU Book and Comic Reviews]
OVERVIEW
The book is titled "End of an Era" for a couple reasons--obviously because it is released after the show has wrapped, but also because Gem history recently ended its "Era 2" and began Era 3--an age of prosperity and peace. The author--the person in charge of adapting all of this information into this slick, readable package--is Chris McDonnell, whose work was previously applied on the Art and Origins book.
The foreword is by N.K. Jemisin, a well-known science fiction author who's a huge fan of the show (and wrote a really excellent series that also has a weird geological connection, by the way).
And the cover, like its predecessor, is shiny and decorated with a beach scene featuring minimalistic characters--this time it's the Gems at night in front of the Temple, and on the back cover is a big pink leg ship in a cross-legged pose.
The interior covers are decorated with tons of amazing sketches of Steven and Connie on the front, and a bunch of Gem sketches on the back. Every interior page that most would leave blank is highlighted with some kind of sketch art or character exercise--it's so much to look at, so much to absorb.
The book is dedicated "For Eddie."
Its organization is different from the previous book in that it shares applicable work in chunks associated with groups of episodes rather than pertaining to different aspects of building the show.
FOREWORD
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N.K. Jemisin gives us such a great introduction to the book--apparently understanding very well that the audience of this book is full of animation enthusiasts and adult fans more than it is full of kids, and explaining that bewildering journey some adults had from blowing this show off as a silly kid thing to falling in love with it hard and fast.
The important thing, Jemisin says, is being able to trust a storyteller with your heart. And it was clear to her that Rebecca Sugar knew what she was talking about and was saying important things about identity and the radical power that comes with accepting it and demanding respect.
Important also is how we handle heroes and who gets to be one in fantasy. That's part of the reason Steven Universe speaks to so many--because we see ourselves here, and know stories can be about us. Acknowledging the power we all have to MAKE THINGS BETTER with what we fight for is so important--especially if we're going to speaking to the next generation about it.
Highlighting Rose Quartz as a "born leader" who failed and Steven as a relatable scamp who did what she couldn't, Jemisin asserts that we can save the world.
1. END OF AN ERA
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We start with an appeal to the audience to think about identity and the formative parts of our childhood--and how different it is if who you are and who you become is restricted, mocked, erased, or Not Allowed. Most people, if not ALL people, can relate to this, but for those of us with a special relationship with Steven Universe because of queer identity, this hits hard.
But it doesn't have to be anything grand to be something we respect--this show's authenticity comes largely from how personal everything is, drawn from real-life experiences and incidental truths from each artist's perspective, leaning hard on childhood and formative experiences.
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Rebecca Sugar offers some interview bits to discuss writing philosophy and why "writing female characters" was difficult for a nonbinary person who'd been socialized as a girl and a woman. Rebecca has spoken before about how frustrating it is that marketing for cartoons was SO gendered when she was growing up (and to some extent still is).
The Gems in the story are all "she/her," but on their planet they're defined by their work, not by emotion or relationships (unlike women in our society), so having them be socialized opposite to how she was and be able to claim those emotions through choice and NOT as just an expectation "as women" was revolutionary. Rebecca wants her show to tell all marginalized people that they don't deserve to be in the margins.
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Weighing in on other aspects of the show were Ian Jones-Quartey, Joe Johnston, and Miki Brewster. Ian describes feeling like at first doing SU was a thrill ride that meant they'd finally get to do all the cool stuff, but it quickly became a responsibility that he took very seriously--the need to tell a good story now that he'd been given a megaphone.
Promotional art, planning documents, character sketches, and concept art from the lighthearted to the stone serious is included, along with some very cool (sort of famous) timeline charts that track major characters' developments. It's emphasized by Rebecca that the developmental materials ARE NOT CANON (and especially are not MORE canon) compared the final show.
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There are concept sketches alongside final art for Aquamarine and Topaz in "Wanted" (with Topaz labeled "Imperial Topaz"), the Zircons in "The Trial," Blue and Yellow Diamond, and the Off Colors (including Pink Lars).
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And there's also a spread of "the two sides of Steven's life: Gem Magic and Rock N Roll" featuring Sadie Killer and the Suspects (referred to as "Buck's band")--as well as a cool "Crew Cameos" key and some concepts for short-haired Connie.
And then there's some more "finished" art with stills alongside concepts, including some background art, revision, and really cool "fairytale" art from some of the shadowplay storytelling bits. We get "Lars of the Stars," "Jungle Moon," and "Can't Go Back."
2. THE BEGINNING OF THE END: A SINGLE PALE ROSE
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In discussing the huge reveals and Gem mysteries in the show, the pacing is examined, and emphasis is put on the intended "slow burn." One of the most difficult things in the show was to strategize so that every piece that was needed to support another piece in the future was placed properly to seed what it was supposed to.
Some of the ideas they developed were more of a group effort and were fit together collaboratively (like Amethyst's being younger than the other Gems and Jasper being from Earth), while others were intended from the beginning based on Rebecca's vision (the fundamental idea of Pink Diamond's true identity, for instance, as well as Obsidian's design and sword and our Pearl not being Pink's first).
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The writing process gets a great deep dive here, including fun tidbits like how the orb in the moon base was inserted by Joe Johnston and they literally had no idea what it was for when they wrote the episode. They repurposed it when they figured out what they needed.
Rebecca credits her detailed timelines for helping keep the order straight, and discusses how other artists are sometimes flabbergasted that a storyboard-driven show can have this much detail and continuity and yet not get wrecked by the free non-scripted boarding process. But Rebecca and the Crew valued that approach and loved the way fresh eyes would handle an idea, making it come back alive, entertaining, vivid.
Several Crew members weigh in on the writing process. Lauren Hecht refers to making lots of incorrect guesses despite being on the inside. Joe Johnston recalled getting briefed on his first day and getting so excited to start working on this massive project.
Miki Brewster remembered being told Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond and being shocked--and also confused about why Ruby and Sapphire would need to be married if they're already basically married. Drew Green talks about being brought in late and getting to watch unaired episodes and a rough of the movie while eating cereal.
Ian Jones-Quartey complains about Pink Diamond's real jester-like form being leaked to the internet through a Hot Topic shirt. Rebecca piggybacks on that and says it was upsetting that the wedding was leaked because of toy fair keychains featuring Ruby and Sapphire in wedding attire. They'd always be worried about leaks, and sometimes Rebecca struggled not to talk about the reality of Pink Diamond before the reveal because she knew it would make so much more sense once the truth was out. And everything associated with Rose makes more sense once you know she's Pink--especially what happened with Bismuth, considering what we know about how Pink Diamond has a habit of treating anyone who no longer serves her interests.
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When it comes to visual cues, Rebecca also talks about intentional designs to create a feeling of unity between concepts, like the flower shapes on Pink Diamond's palanquin lining up with the poofs of Steven's hair and the star imagery of the series. Steven Sugar and Mary Nash discuss how the Human Zoo incorporated this imagery, trying to look like Homeworld with a Pink Diamond touch.
Steven Sugar, as a game nerd, liked to throw in video game references from old and modern stuff to feel like he's inserting what he's enjoying and who he is from moment to moment, while Mary Nash, who related to Sadie as a basement-dwelling young person with cult interests, liked to include stuff from MST3K and cult movies. Pearl's hand gestures get a spotlight too--her reflex to cover her mouth when Pink Diamond was being discussed was analyzed here.
A "Top Secret Visual Timeline" from 2016 is included which tells us some Diamond history. It has an earlier version of Pink Pearl's fate and does not include Spinel since the movie hadn't been greenlit. The timeline includes the birth of the Diamonds, the emergence and major story beats for each major character, and some philosophy of the driving force behind each.
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We're told that Pink Diamond straightened up, behavior-wise, after she lost her first Pearl, and that Yellow and Blue wanted to give her a planet but White only agreed to it to prove she would fail at managing a colony. Pearl, meanwhile, is so confused to have a Diamond who keeps asking her what she thinks when she doesn't believe she should have opinions.
And when Pink moonlighted as Rose to start conflict, she found herself leading an army to fight Pink's troops--then Yellow's, and eventually Blue's too. Lapis is said to be waiting for the conflict to end on Earth so she can terraform, but she gets trapped instead.
Pearl's love story with Rose is described as "an endless honeymoon" where she's free to love her, while Rose's is more like "I'm now the head of the family and I'm going to give everyone what they never had, so everyone is super special!"
Jasper is described as "adopted" into Yellow's army as the only successful Beta Quartz. And White Diamond knew that Pink Diamond was not dead--she thought she was just running away from home like a brat and would eventually be back.
3. THE HEART OF THE CRYSTAL GEMS
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Now we discuss Rose Quartz--the original Pink Diamond. How she was selfish and selfless, never enough and always too much, and how Greg was her first partner who "challenged her" to be an equal. Rebecca describes Rose as being delighted by the idea that both she and Greg reinvented themselves, but when that leads her to want to share her past, Greg isn't interested--he only wants to know who she is now, and doesn't consider the old her to be her.
Rebecca likes Carl Jung's concept of "enantiodromia," which is the idea that extremes lead to their extreme opposite. This is demonstrated in all of the Diamonds. This narrative is interspersed with drawings of Greg and Rose being cute.
But another "heart" of the Crystal Gems is its relationships--particularly, Garnet, the fairy tale romance embodied. More psychological theories are discussed with regard to differentiation in a relationship making the relationship stronger, and how they made sure that happened for Garnet during the appropriate arc. Rebecca has struggled with the idea that she, like Ruby, went straight from a "family" group to a living-with-others situation and never lived by herself. But she also learned that you can in fact develop as a person in the context of a relationship--you don't have to be alone to do it. Ruby learned that too, and chose on her own terms to be with Sapphire.
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The wedding made so much sense to Rebecca and the crew that they couldn't imagine a wholesome couple like Ruby and Sapphire not having a wedding episode. They wanted it for years: The wedding concepts always included the tuxedo for Sapphire and the wedding dress for Ruby.
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But pushback (often blamed on the conservative standards of the international market) led to negotiations trying to keep Ruby and Sapphire's relationship from being explicit. Rebecca and the Crew were very tired of this double standard, and they were especially irritated by attempts to claim a wedding wouldn't be well received by a core demographic or wouldn't make sense for Steven's character. But other shows had done weddings and Steven had been established to love weddings already.
Rebecca kept adding more elements to the wedding episode to answer all the concerns, but she didn't want to back down from explicit marriage between these characters. They deserved it. And the audience deserved to see this as wholesome, like any other cartoon wedding. Eventually they got their way and were allowed to have the wedding. But the ordered episodes were also coming to a close without promise of more, so Rebecca had to request more episodes to be able to wrap up the storyline!
And of course, there is Steven, the true heart of the team. A very interesting aside discusses Garnet's leadership and how the network pushed the Crewniverse to acknowledge Steven as the leader. This was successfully resisted throughout as well--because Garnet is the leader (unless she's incapacitated, of course). It's fantastic that this concept was preserved because too often a young male chosen one is elevated above people with more experience and knowledge because of that chosen one tradition, so it's really nice to have a show acknowledge that team leadership is more appropriate for an adult.
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4. ERA 3
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Beginning with a discussion of the Diamonds, this chapter deconstructs the dysfunctional "family" of the Diamonds (who are said to be based on tropes about evil stepmothers and stepsisters), with the thread of dysfunction originating with White Diamond.
Yellow is physical, Blue is emotional, White is judgmental, and Pink is impulsive. Some philosophy on why Pink is naturally manipulative and why she clashes so much with White is offered.
White believes her identity is to be imposed on all because she is the pinnacle of what should be--and therefore, she has the right to make decisions and statements about and on behalf of everyone. But her secret is that she can't do what the others do--act or feel or want. In trying to be everyone, she is no one.
And this becomes very important when she confronts Steven about his identity and turns out to be wrong. The triumph of Steven being totally, fully himself is a beautiful, simple revelation that's described as far more satisfying than the theories about Pink living inside him or Rose returning from his Gem.
Also discussed is Gem architecture. A lot went into this idea, and Steven Sugar weighs in to say he had to think of what it would mean for a world to have buildings but serve no human needs. That's why it's mostly focused on transport and storage. Even the broken planet is meant to indicate a place stripped for its resources, and everything serves a function that is meant to avoid looking like the human equivalents.
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And there's another layer, too: a difference between Era 1 and Era 2. Era 2 became more functional to hide Era 1's broken bits, and older Homeworld buildings still have some "ornate and ancient" feel to them. And the fact that props, tools, and even walls and doors could be living was taken from a concept Rebecca thought was horrible from old Busby Berkeley movies, where people were inanimate objects and it was portrayed as lovely. Tom Herpich helped conceptualize these living objects.
Steven dealing with "princess tropes" is discussed here too. The Pebbles (worked on with Pendleton Ward) were sort of his Cinderella's mice, and all the locked-in-a-tower, having supportive tiny friends help you, getting princess clothes made, attending a ball, having to mind your manners stuff was intentionally related to fairy tales.
The point of doing that (besides fun) was to easily invoke the feeling that Steven was being made to be someone he's not, and that he was being treated like THIS is who he really is when it isn't. White Diamond as the "evil stepmother" is discussed with regard to her detailed features and massive scale. They generally didn't put fingernails and eyelashes on characters (especially not to indicate that they were women or girls!), but they decided White would get all of these feminine markers for tradition's sake.
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Rebecca also invokes several other references that were included and describes the princess tropes as "chipping away at his integrity" setting him up for the final challenge with White.
There is again tons of concept art: Homeworld architecture, Pebbles, Diamond diagrams, background Jades and Lemon Jade Fusion, Comby, Diamond extraction chambers, and White Diamond.
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5. CHANGE YOUR MIND
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Now we finally begin to discuss Steven's identity. The "Perfect Steven," discussed in several interviews before this book's release, was an idea back in 2013; the "ultimate Steven," beefed up and shonen-looking, was far from perfect because OUR Steven is perfect, while this alpha hero Steven idea (used in Steven Universe Future) didn't belong being idolized in such a show.
They thought about having Steven fall apart into organic half and Gem half early in the show (during "Giant Woman" after a successful fusion and unfusion, even!), but they didn't try the concept until the last episode. They didn't want the "Pink" Steven to be portrayed as "better" even though he would be more powerful, so they decided he isn't whole without his organic self and he's just as much of a shell as the organic half. They absolutely did not want any ending that required Rose to be inside him or waiting to come back. But the debates were fierce--what DOES it mean to have Rose's Gem?
Ian Jones-Quartey brings in an anecdote about his own family to emphasize some of the immigrant themes that inspired aspects of the show. He had a brother who reinvented himself elsewhere away from family without resolving issues, and all the ramifications of that were explored in the show through Rose Quartz. (He is careful to say he doesn't think his immigrant experience is like being from another planet!) But he did say you can hurt your old family even if they were toxic or didn't know the real you, and you can hurt your new family by hiding your past. The Pizza family of course was also a more direct reference to Ian's Ghanaian family.
In talking about the new Fusions from this episode, Sunstone is largely described by Miki, who also got to board the Sunstone section. Sunstone was described as a cool 1990s character and the evolution just continued into making them a fourth-wall-breaking PSA dispenser. Obsidian is also discussed, with their sword being an early concept. Steven Sugar said they totally knew it would be forged in action. Obsidian being similar to the Temple design is of course another very early detail.
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The story of how James Baxter got involved with one of the final scenes (Organic Steven and Pink Steven fusing in front of White Diamond) was shared. His family was fans of the show and Rebecca Sugar took the time to drive to a birthday party for his daughter and give her a drawing. He then owed her a favor, and this was it.
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Concept art is again included, this time with sample boards, promo images, a Diamond fight concept, costume design changes for the Gems, new Fusions, the so-called "Mega Diamond" ship conglomerate, some scenes from the White Diamond confrontation, Pink Steven, multiple pages of James Baxter animation, corrupted Gems and their healed selves, and photos from the "Change Your Mind" premiere and some awards. The show has won one design-related Emmy, a Peabody Award, and a GLAAD award.
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6. STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE
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The book doesn't cover the movie because it got its own book, but dives right into Future. Ian Jones-Quartey emphasizes that the movie and Future are separate and different from the original show, which ENDED. After all, after that, Steven has a neck!
Some new names are invoked now: new writers Kate Tsang, Jack Pendarvis, and Taneka Stotts. They were excited to have Steven make HIS OWN mistakes instead of trying to clean up someone else's! Now, instead of doing the usual shonen anime thing and having the final battle be a big physical rumble, Steven has to make peace with himself and take an active role in coping with what all the fighting has done to him and what effect it's had on who he is (and who he wants to be). There is no sudden "I love myself!" answer, either. It's always a process.
Drew Green and Maya Petersen, who came on board as storyboarders officially in Future, also weighed in on writing for a "mature" show, how to deal with Steven being a "moral compass" while being sort of unreliable, and what they learned as Crew that they didn't know as fans. Drew didn't know Garnet never asks questions. Jack didn't realize the show never deviated from Steven's point of view. Taneka was nervous but excited to collaborate. Kate was worried about how established the show was and what to do as a new writer to contribute appropriately.
Maya was on the old Crew but not as a storyboarder, so felt like some of the "old" ideas ended up not being appropriate for the "new" Future in an embarrassing way--and dreaded the idea of dealing with Steven's emotional problems when they were similar to stuff she'd been through. She also was personally behind the idea of Steven wanting to dump his problems by becoming Stevonnie, and got to work with Etienne Guignard on inventing the Pearl creation backstory with Volleyball.
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There's some discussion of "depression hobbies," stress, and the show's pacing. And they say Etienne was entertaining at pitches. There's even some discussion of how Greg is taken off a bit of a pedestal because his terrible restrictive life in the suburbs sounded wholesome to Steven and Greg presented it negatively.
And then there is some information about how the Crew felt behind the scenes due to fan reactions and negative press. Ian discusses feeling offended when the Black characters are described as bad examples, as if their cartoonized but realistic-in-context features are automatically caricatures.
Rebecca Sugar felt beaten down by some of these narratives and began to access mental health services, inspiring some of the content of "Mindful Education." A long reflection from Rebecca discusses people's infighting about her show and what she had a responsibility to show or not show in the story. She learned a lot about bullying from Cartoon Network's anti-bullying program and learned that bullies thrive on whatever attention you give them--unless it is made clear to them by a peer group that no one is impressed by their cruel actions. Also, not all negative feedback is bullying. Constructive criticism is different. Self-awareness can help you avoid internalizing what bullies might do or say to you.
Segueing from the discussion of how people are affected by and connect with the show, we then discuss how they chose as a team what should be covered as the show came to a close. They didn't have time to do quite a few stories they wanted time for, like a Rhodonite story, a Lars side story, and Diamond "prehistory" and religion; all of it was put aside for the main arc with Steven.
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They thought people would find those stories about Homeworld and Off Color history very interesting, but so much of the show had been about Steven's Gem adventures, so keeping him mostly on Earth seemed appropriate. The acknowledgment of his battle damage, of his trauma, was necessary and real, and helpful in an important way to the core audience.
Oh, and there was some stuff about a cheeseburger tree. Don't ask.
In discussing the "reverse escapism" of the original show (Gem aliens are intrigued by everyday human culture, and realism is necessary), Rebecca says her views have changed on escapism and gets why some people want a soothing feel-better show. She acknowledged also that her own escapist dreams-come-true fulfilled in the show didn't feel like escapism because they were givens to the majority of mainstream culture, but were never guaranteed to marginalized people.
Rebecca ties in her several-times-told story about "Love Like You" and how the middle bit was when she didn't feel she was worth looking up to, and the realizations she had to tie the beginning to the end. Feeling like someone will like you less if they know you more is terrible. So sometimes a show like this can be helpful in telling people that they belong when their fantasies are things like "I want to be loved" and "I want to know I exist."
In Future, Steven has to connect to who he is and love that person--and understand that person enough to finally feel that even if he's not fixing their problems or saving their world right this second, Steven deserves his family's love and support, and they WANT to give it to him.
There's a huge amount of supplemental material in this section so there's no way I could name it all. The charts for Future's timeline are pretty straightforward, though a few episodes like "A Very Special Episode," "Why So Blue," "In Dreams," and "Bismuth Casual" aren't specifically represented and a couple are in a different order ("Prickly Pair" was conceived as happening after "Fragments" and "Homeworld Bound").
Steven feeling like a monster, having intrusive thoughts, having not forgiven the Diamonds, and getting help/moving on--it's all there.
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We have keys, color scripts, and boards for the new opening and some various backgrounds and storyboard art from episodes. Model sheets for Shep, Nice Lapis and Mean Lapis, Jasper, Steven Tag Gems, Pink Steven Powers, Monster Steven. New house concepts, Era 3 Homeworld concept art for the Diamond environments, and background art for the Reef.
New Connie and Greg designs. Concepts for Mega Pearl, the Rose Quartzes, Bluebird, and Morganite (who didn't get used). And there are some photos from recording and the conference room. There are even some extras from "Crossover Nexus," the crossover with OK K.O.!--including an unused cut scene that included Ruby and Sapphire fighting. The rest of the book is a bunch of adorable Crewniverse art--extras, blog drawings, promos, and gifts to each other.
NOTABLE
1.
The first timeline chart in the book features a cool sketch of the original Off Colors, which at the time this planning document was drafted included unused Off Colors Flint and Chert.
We knew of their existence already because of an episode of the podcast, but these two unexpectedly appeared as incidental characters in the Steven Universe Future episode "Homeworld Bound," identified only in the credits. Sad to think that instead of banding with the Off Colors, these two were probably shattered for their crime (being Quartzes who don't want to fight) and that's why we see them being repaired in this episode. Later, there's some brainstorming for types of Off Colors and "a Ruby that wants to wear limb enhancers" is mentioned as well.
2. 
It looks like there was also originally more juice to the story of tracking down the events of the war culminating in Pink Diamond's assassination.
One of the timelines talks about Steven thinking it makes sense that Pearl can't talk about her involvement because she might have been a double agent, explaining why Rose Quartz always knew what Pink Diamond was doing. It seems like that bit was supposed to be included in Garnet's version of the story she believed in "Your Mother and Mine." Seems like they originally conceived Garnet's story to inspire the Off Colors to become pirates and freedom fighters, though in the show's canon this storytelling happened after Lars had already reinvented himself the way he did.
Sadie was also supposed to be sending letters to Lars via Steven, which is funny since the "Letters to Lars" episode is just a montage Steven letter. And of course it's specified that Steven was supposed to get Pink Diamond flashbacks by going to the Palace on Homeworld.
3. 
The second chart in the book makes references to Sadie's reinvention of herself as a parallel to Lars, Greg, and Pink Diamond all doing the same thing, and how positive it is to embrace such a thing--a version of yourself that YOU create.
I love that Yellow Diamond's arm ship arm-wrestling the Cluster was always part of the plan.
There's some more explicit direction to have Connie help Steven understand the Diamonds as "strict parents," and a lot more emphasis on everyone realizing Rose had been inspired by THEM rather than them all following her.
White Diamond is presented here as if she thinks of Pink Diamond as a "daughter" (whom she now understands she has "lost"). There are notes on how the Diamonds have a responsibility to their children and should attend to it before just continuing to make more.
4.
One of the concept art images for the Off Colors features Rhodonite crouching by Padparadscha saying "Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you." It's very interesting because she DOES seem to protect Padparadscha in the show, but doesn't seem confident about it in her final version, even though it does seem like she'd be "programmed" to guard aristocratic Gems because of her Ruby and Pearl makeup. Cool.
5.
A "Crew Cameos" spread was included, which is of great interest to some of us who loved seeing the Crew insert themselves into the show. Not every SU Crew person who's been represented in a crowd was there, but this crowd included Amish Kumar, Kat Morris, Amanda Winterstein, Angie Wang, Lamar Abrams, Emily Walus, Mary Nash, Joe Johnston, Christy Cohen, Danny Cragg, Hilary Florido, Danny Hynes, Matt Burnett, Ben Levin, Elle Michalka.
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6.
The official national flower of South Korea, Hibiscus syriacus, is the name of Pink Diamond's flower.
7.
One of Steven Sugar's comments about the silhouette difference between humans and Gems points out that humans have ears. This seems to be pretty good confirmation that they are not supposed to have ears, despite that sometimes we'll see ears drawn on them in some frames.
8.
Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is characterized in this book as "self-hating" in a really interesting way, saying that because she believed she was not capable of compassion, she practically worshiped those who demonstrated that ability and thought they were so much better than her--which is described as "intoxicating" and resulted in others being drawn to her. How interesting is that!
9.
Timelines reveal that early plans for Pink Diamond's first Pearl originally had her getting destroyed by Pink during  a game, and then her destruction was rewritten as a punishment from the Diamonds after Pink Pearl defended Pink Diamond to the other Diamonds. They went back to the idea of her getting hurt by Pink for the final version, though the cracked face and control by White Diamond was not on the agenda until they started writing "Change Your Mind."
10.
The approximate ages of the major characters, based on emergence, are revealed on these timelines. It begins with a cracked-planet-looking graphic depicting four tiny Diamonds emerging at 20,000 years ago. Some suspicious "blacked out" redacting surrounds a long timeline tail that goes back before that, which may mean there are secrets they still don't want to reveal. But the dates go like this:
20,000 years ago: The Diamonds emerge.
11,000 years ago: Pearl is custom-made for Pink Diamond.
8,000 years ago: Sapphire emerges (on Homeworld).
6,000 years ago: Ruby emerges (on a colony).
5,750 years ago: Garnet is formed.
5,600 years ago: Lapis is poofed and put in the mirror.
5,200 years ago: Jasper emerges (on Earth).
5,050 years ago: The Cluster is planted.
5,000 years ago: Amethyst emerges (on Earth).
4,500 years ago: The Crystal Gems found Amethyst.
3,000 years ago: Peridot emerges (on Homeworld).
40 years ago: Pearl found Lapis's mirror at the Galaxy Warp.
And of course we know 14 years ago Steven is born!
11.
Originally the Diamonds were based on a quartet of themes: Love, Fear, Pride, and Sorrow. It got too complicated to keep and it was abandoned, with Pink's identification of "love" being described as "particularly outdated."
12.
Notes on a sketch say that Pearl was inspired to become bold and unashamed because Pink's questions drove her to have opinions, and it's said that Rose "fell in love" with her boldness.
13.
Rebecca tells the story of driving off a ridge and getting stuck in the desert, comparing this to Ruby's tumble during her Wild West adventure and using it as inspiration. She's told this story before but here it is in print. She also included the story about using the flowers from a friend's wedding to put in Ruby's hair.
14.
Rebecca describes having to "fight" notes she was given when it had to do with Ruby and Sapphire's relationship. One she describes as NOT fighting was for a signing card depicting Ruby and Sapphire dancing. It was called "too romantic" and she decided not to worry about it since it wasn't the actual show content.
She was also scolded over her book The Answer because the powers that be expected her to downplay that relationship. She always argued that queer youth deserved these things.
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15.
Tom Herpich describes being inspired to name Blue Diamond's comb "Comby" because he was watching the news about Comey getting fired from the FBI. It's also a mineral-related term and I always assumed that reference was intentional, but maybe it's not and this is the only intended significance to Comby's name?
16.
Rainbow Quartz 2.0's design is not discussed, though the other two new Fusions from "Change Your Mind" (Sunstone and Obsidian) were. RQ2 has some sketches included, but no accompanying narrative in the text.
17.
A sheet of corrupted Gems and their healed selves is offered, though it doesn't appear to be final. The obelisk in "Serious Steven" is labeled Albite. The unnamed Worm Monster, Desert Glass, and Watermelon Tourmaline are included. An unnamed birdlike Gem represents the Big Bird monster from "Giant Woman." The crab monster from "Arcade Mania" is labeled Blue Chalcedony. The Tongue Monster is drawn uncorrupted but not named. The Flower Monster from "Back to the Kindergarten" is labeled Grossular Diopside or Titanite. The invisible monster from "Island Adventure" is labeled Moonstone. The Lighthouse Gem is labeled White Topaz. A form for Larimar that was used in "Change Your Mind" but changed in Future is there. The Slinker is listed as Chrysocolla. And the Crab Monster is listed as Aventurine.
On the next page, this is changed to Bixbite (as it was in Steven Universe Future), and we then also have Lace Amethyst, Blue Lace Agate, Crazy Lace Agate (Fusion), Ocean Jasper, the Mother Centipeetle Nephrite (Facet 413 Cabochon 12) and three other Nephrites, Angel Aura Quartz, a hooded Jasper, Zebra Jasper, Biggs Jasper, Watermelon Tourmaline (labeled as Fusion of Gem * Onion--huh?), Snowflake Obsidian, "Little" Larimar, and Orange Spodumene (who was the Worm).
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18.
The Rhodonite side story would have been about the love story of a Ruby and a Pearl working for Morganite. Images of Morganite and her servants, unfused, are in the book. We do not get this additional information, but Rebecca said in a panel shortly before the book's release that Rhodonite's story would have been about finding out that she had been Rejuvenated 17 times because her components kept falling in love and needing to be reset.
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19.
Referring to the Diamonds on one of the charts, Steven's perspective is "I can't believe I helped these" and then there's a censor bar. Welp.
20.
Some included art by Hilary Florido features Kevin with a souped-up Koala Princess car and another where Kevin is staring at himself in the mirror in front of an altar to himself.
21.
Rebecca's sweater collection is included in the Crew art.
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[SU Book and Comic Reviews]
140 notes · View notes
funkymbtifiction · 3 years
Text
4
I know places like Enneagrammer are very strict about their definition of 4 as someone who deliberately self-differentiates and creates an elitist identity out of their suffering. But I'm not sure they're right anymore. Given that the Enneagram is all theorising without scientific proof, this is all up to subjective interpetations anyway. Enneagrammer can't claim to be definitively right unless they go out and do the hard work to empirically validate their claims with academic research across a large, representative sample using the scientific method, which online typology communities don't do lol. It's more 'Yah I have 5 friends like this and my aunt is like this and I browse Reddit and PersonalityCafe a lot and I like this theory, so I'M RIGHT!' So, since this is mostly up to subjective interpretation and personal experience, here's my take:
For 4s, I lean towards Enneagram writers like Richard Rohr's interpretation. The 4 is someone who wants to live deeply and authentically and seeks beauty and meaning as a driving goal. I don't think it's necessary that elitism/superiority to others needs to be a defining part of the 4. Maybe this is common in 4s, but I don't think it HAS to be a definitive trait as this definition is too narrow. We need to have a broad definition of the 4 because, in my experience, there are people whose core motivation is to live with depth and meaning, and whose core fear is to live a shallow life. A lot of people (particularly philosophical, thoughtful and creative people) fall into this core motivation and fear but without the 'I create an identity around my suffering and am elitist') aspect. So you need a type that accommodates that kind of orientation towards depth, meaning and beauty, and imo no other type really covers that. Your thoughts?
“I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.” ― Anais Nin.
I think the truth about 4s is somewhere in-between all the descriptions of 4s. As regards Enneagrammer, there are a few things that have always bothered me about them. One is that they ignore the emotionalism of 4 and focus primarily on it being elitist. I notice they talk an awful lot about being separate, and painting oneself into a corner, and this is highly true in a lot of ways, BUT... 4 is also "I need to experience every emotion to its last drop," and they avoid talking about that. Maybe it's something they don't like to admit to themselves? (It also makes me a little suspicious when 4 is apparently such a rare fix and yet every mod over there still has it.)
I know 4 fixers who over-inflate everything and yes, pick back over conversations looking for a good reason to feel insulted. So Rohr is accurate in how he talks about how 4s aren't satisfied with an ORDINARY life, they are searching for a much, much BIGGER emotion. There are 4s like Anne Shirley, who display ALL the traits of a 4, from over-emotions and emotional magnifying (making everything SUCH a big deal) AND the crippled / rejected bird syndrome (no one wants me, I'm an ugly redhead!). The only core 4 I've ever known felt that way. Unwanted, prematurely rejected, surprised to be desired or included for her own sake, but also -- you milk every feeling for what it's worth. You don't "get over it," you sit in it and make a big deal out of it, because this is what I am FEELING. That's what you have to remember about 4. It's not just I love this, or I am deep, it's I will drink every last drop of my feelings. I will not move on from this intensity. (Bright Star, Shakespeare, Lucy Maud Montgomery, Emily Bronte, etc).
If you define 4 as merely someone who wants a deep life, you will have a lot of people mistyping as 4s because honestly, who wants to be thought of as shallow? The 4 = depth thing (and the woman who invented tritype uses that description, basically, for 4, which is how I mistyped as a 4 fixer for several years) has made a lot of people assume they are 4s, because they want life to have meaning, they want their movies and books and things to be deep, they love deep conversations, they need BEAUTY like they need air (this is me) but... they don't have the elitism that goes with 4. You must have both to be a 4 core, IMO.
I can spot a 4 anywhere; some of them actually get mad if you love what they love, because it's not theirs and it's not unique and it's not "special" anymore, it's not a "niche" interest that makes them special because they know about it and you don't. They love to dress "weird" and stand out, because as an image type, they are "displaying themselves" -- Enneagrammer has that spot on. The girl who works at a checker at the local store who is forever wearing 16 different necklaces, buttons, and earrings and when you ask her about them, she will smile a little and assure you that you don't know who any of these bands are (and she's delighted to be proven right) ... is a 4. ;)
In my opinion, NF orients itself toward "depth and beauty" anyway as a core desire, and NFP in particular does this because high Ne and Fi hates reality and wants a fantasy. It's idealistic, and not interested in the mundane. And you don't have to have 4 in your stack to feel that way. But you do need some of that "I love what I don't have, and I hate what I have" behavior to be 4, like Rohr said -- the woman who hated her husband until he left her, and then she loved him again, because 4 is always longing for something it doesn't have.
ETA: I wanted to add something here. It's very easy to latch onto superficial descriptions of 4 as an NF type especially and assume you are one, which is why I was so torn about 4 for a long time. Do I want everything in life to be meaningful and beautiful? Yes. Do I need everything to be deep? Yes. Do I search for deeper emotions than the one I am having and feel remorse if I am not feeling them? Yes. Do I have a condescending attitude about people loving things I deem as shallow? Yes. Do I have yo-yo relationships where familiarity breeds contempt? Yes. And yet, I am still not a 4. I am just an ENFP. Your personality type, the things your dominant function wants and needs, factors into these things as much as your Enneagram fixes. All of the above is me being a Ne and a Fi type. So if you exclude the negative, darker aspects of 4 and don't look at them (elitism, painting yourself into a corner, over-identifying with your broken image), you will mistype, in the same way you have to look at the core motivations and what that looks like of every other type. People really want to be 8s, also, but what about the crap being an 8 brings into your life? The ruined relationships? the aggression issues? being disliked and alienating people? You have to see it all, the good and the bad. The good of having a 2 fix - helpful, generous. The bad? - you owe me. Lots of people want beauty and depth, but lots of them also do not struggle with specifically 4 problems of self-sabotage.
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