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slashingdisneypasta · 2 years

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MultiVillains x Reader || Drabbles

I'm not really back, I just had this and thought I'd just go and post it.

Plot: I saw this thing on Pinterest (Picture below) and I just had to write this XD Basically, you’re super bored so when the bastard that constantly hits on you turns up, you figure ‘Why not mess with them a little?’ and accidentally bite off more than you can chew.

Includes: The Pervy Bunch! (I hope Pervy Villains anon likes this!! ^^ ) So Beetlejuice, Chucky Lee Ray, Freddy Krueger, Greasy Weasel, Hades, and Offenderman.

Warnings: Dubious consent, a little assault and lotsa sexual references but no actual smut. Also I tried to convey that you do actually want them- you just don’t want to admit it cuz they’re gross and evil- but I’m not sure it came through 😅

You know what I have noticed about the Pervert group? An unsettling amount of them have powers that allow them to just pop up near you, which is just great-

Also *eye twitches* I have watched Hercules more times than any other movie, and I still feel like I can’t write Hades for shit! I am about to Blacklist his blueberry ass.

Beetlejuice:

“Ohh, you just made a grAVE mistake, baby… “

“What!?” You shriek, feeling him pop up next to you and curl a long, winding arm over your shoulders. When the hand attached tries to be funny and grab something lower then necessary, your eyes widen to the size of plates and throw it off you entirely. “No- I- “You’re backing up fast, but not fast enough it seems as BJ grabs you again.

This time his dirty hands enclose around your upper arms and he holds you so that the two of you are chest to chest. You try to shove him away, but only end up in an even more precarious position with your hands - fists, - on his chest, and promptly give up. Fighting is just making it worse, you think, rolling your eyes up to the sky and attempting only to move your head so that your face as far away from his humanly possible.

“I gotta hand it to you, doll, you know how to get a guy’s engine roarin’,” Beetlejuice growls out, and also takes that opportunity to press his already-engorged – honestly you would not be surprised, if he just saw you and suddenly ZING!! it went up, - groin up into yours whilst making a vroom sound. Your jaw drops practically to the ground with a gasp, and you give yet another struggle despite giving up, wanting desperately for your elbow to make its way directly into his nose, but he easily holds you still. “Baby- Baby!! You know I like it rough, but let’s try not to damage the goods, K??”

“Oh, damage?? Damage, you say?? I’ll show you damage!!- “You attempt to left your leg and knee him in the privates that so unpleasantly grinded into yours a moment ago but he steps on your foot! Then his shoelaces unfurl and twist under the souls of your own and tie you both together; Making it impossible for you to move without him. “You- “Out of frustration, you kick your leg out anyway, hoping it’ll cause him some kind of pain or discomfort.

“Come on baby,” He lets go of your arms in favour to grab at your waist, and pulls you taught against him. You, on the other hand, let out a groan from frustration and with nowhere else to comfortably leave your arms, you lay them up over his shoulders. The action causes him to smirk, and you roll your eyes heavily. He’s so gross, you do NOT enjoy this- “I wanna do bad things to you. Give in with me.”

“No way. Filthy corpse men aren’t really my thing.”

“Not according to what you just told me, sweetheart~ “Your eyes narrow at him, but before you can slap a hand over his dirty mouth- he’s mimicking you with total and embarrassing accuracy. “It’s too bad you’re such a creep, BJ~ Otherwise I mighta- “

“Okay okay okay!” A little too late, but even so- one of your hands seals his mouth tightly shut. Your whole body feels hot, now, and you choose to believe its from embarrassment. “We don’t need a recap.”

“Otherwise, I mighta fucked you~~ “

Ughhh, you forgot he could throw his voice. Fuck him. Fuck the bastard.

But not in that way!

So you take your hand away from his mouth, as you’re becoming increasingly afraid that he’ll lick it soon. “I did not sound that slutty… “

“No, you’re right. You only sound like THAT in my fantasies.”

“Ugh, don’t tell me.”

“Why tell you when I can show ya, huh?” A hand, feeling almost like some kind of creepy crawly, slides down the sides of your body, but with one hostile glare from you he stops short of your ass. Thank god-

“You are disgusting.”

“And it’s kinda hot, right?”

“No!”

“Yes, BJ, you’re so sexy~- “

“Ugh!” He’s mimicking you again! Its so annoying!

So, naturally, you kiss him.

That turns into making-out at a world record speed, and then you’re on the nearest couch grinding back up into him totally on your own accord, and you refuse to think about anything you were just saying. This feels good, this feels like you’ve been waiting forever for it- So, you’ll deal with hating yourself later.

Human!Chucky Lee Ray:

His eyebrows shoot up his forehead, hearing your words- feeling how you’re looking at him- seeing your walk over- before a gross smirk spreads slowly across his face. “Really?~ “

“Wh- “One glance at him shows that he did not at all get that you were just fucking around, and a snort escapes you. “No. Of course not. I’m just bored- so go home, nothing’s happening here. Ever.”

Chucky does not let it go immediately. Instead, his cold eyes are gazing at you with the heat of the sun, still. “Ever… ?”

“Yes, ever.” You say sternly, and quickly- leaving no room for hesitation.

“You sound pretty damn sure of that, toots.” Hands enveloped in his coat pockets, a look that does not make him any less threatening, he takes a casual step towards you. Your body reacts powerfully to the action, the possibility of what might come of it- but you’re a groan adult and keep it to yourself. You know who you should and shouldn’t want, and Charles Lee Ray most certainly belongs in the second group. “But,” He takes another step and now he’s looking down at you, stupid messy hair forming a dark halo around his pale face. “You also sounded pretty sure a moment ago, when you hit on me? I’m confused~ “

“Well let me clear it up for you,” Setting your hands on your hips, you force yourself to glare back into his intimidatingly icy blue eyes and enunciate. “I’m not interested in creepy bums.”

First, his mouth twitches but he manages to hold himself together- But then he all-out laughs, squeezing his eyes shut and leaning backwards. Meanwhile you’re totally taken aback, watching him have a fit over you insulting him. Is he a masochist or something?- “You… hehe… you’re- oh, fuck hold on a moment,” He continues to cackle for another minute, in which you feel that maybe you could just leave… Before, finally, he calms down; Wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “Ahhh, fucken bitch you don’t even know how wrong you are.”

Your jaw drops. “What?”

He suddenly drags you the rest of the way to him, wrapping his arm around your waist and holding you against his body. You gasp, and shove him once. “I’m not a bum, doll… I’m fucken crazy. I fucking murder people!”

Your eyes do a little look both ways before settling cautiously on Chucky again. “… My bad?”

“Look,” He starts, having sobered up again by this point. There’s a smirk on his face again that somehow turns you into some kind of Y/N based mush on the inside- even now, after a revelation like that. In fact your stupid feelings may have gotten worse. “Lemme propose somethin’ to ya, heh?”

“… O-kay… “

“Lemme take ya home.”

Ugh, for gods sake, does he ever give up? “No.”

“I’ll show ya how a real man fucks his doll~ “ God god god! This is too much! You’re trying to resist, you swear that you are, but he’s so close, holding you like he truly wants you, and now he’s saying shit like that!- “I betcha you haven’t been screwed right in a long time… Amiright? Only a real psycho can do that, trust me.”

“You’re so fucked up.”

“Exactly.”

At that, you tiredly gaze up at him and… consider.

Freddy Krueger:

A broken gasp flies out when your back hits a wall. Your eyes are wide looking up at the lecherous grin on Freddy’s face, that’s far too close to yours for comfort, and you specifically think- whoops.

That may have been a miscalculation on my part, you think. It seems that Freddy does not, in fact, get that you were just bored. Or maybe he just doesn’t care-

Either way, you’re in deep water now.

Deep, deep water, you add staring back into terrible blue eyes.

Quickly you gather your wits, narrow your eyes and set your jaw at him. “… Don’t even think about it.”

“Think about what?~ “

“Whatever it is you’re thinking!” You exclaim, afraid to even wonder what it could be that he’s thinking for it would surely traumatise you. You don’t need to know, anyway; Its never happening. Now you just need to et out of this all-too-close situation, here-

“Oh- I’m sure I don’t know what you mean!” Oh, Drama King of the century is making a production of this- surprise, surprise. Groaning, you lean back onto the wall and wait for your cue; When Freddy’s acting like this, its best to just go with the flow. But when a sharp, rusty blade comes up between your faces, almost cutting you, you tense up again. “You’re the one that teased me, Princess.”

“I was bored- “You explain, bluntly, but the blade raise sup high near to your eyes and your gaze follows it instinctually- which he loves. He loves watching you keep an eye on the glove, just a hint of fear and also an odd arousal in your eyes as you both know full-well that if he wanted to hurt you, it would be too easy for him.

“Oh- I’m hurt!” The glove goes flat to his chest, now, and you let out a relieved breath as he makes like he’s offended.

“Well!... “ –Wait. Why should you sound apologetic?? “… Good?”

“Sweetheart, you wound me… Daddy’s gonna have to punish you for that.” Freddy informs, nodding his head, and gasp at the sudden turn-around.

“Like hell!”

A long, wooden ruler appears in his non-gloved hand and your jaw actually drops. Why in the world does he have THAT!? “Every time you swear, kitten, Daddy’s gonna have to punish you~ “

You don’t know whether you’re going run, or laugh, and its an odd sensation, culminating into a feeling almost like- Lust… “Please stop referring to yourself as ‘Daddy’, Freddy- “ And please, dear god, don’t call me ‘kitten’- Because yikes.

“Why…? “He asks, smirking, and you’re about to reply ‘because its gross- you’re gross’, but he leans in closer to you still and you forget what you were about to say. You cross your arms over your chest and flatten yourself against the wall better, too. You swear, if he gets any closer to your person, you’re going to explode. “Are ya getting… sssslippery??”

Okay- now you actually do laugh. A snort slips out of you and develops into cackles as you you’re your arms from their defensive position in order to cover your face, before you manage to just shake your head. “No!... No, I think I’m all dried up, actually… Like sandpaper.”

Freddy gives you a look, then, like he knows something you don’t. Yet again you watch him raise the glove, and using a couple blades that whine at the use, he gestures between the two of you. “… You and I both know that’s not true… don’t we now?”

“In your drea- Uhm,” Dear lord, that’s embarrassing, especially with how his eyes light up. “I mean… No. We know no such thing, no.”

“Wanna test?~ “ Gone is the giant ruler, then, leaving just his hand; Bare, and you notice that he’s got good fingers, and its- he’s- an enticing option in all honesty!-

But… But… Oh, fuck, you’re forgetting why this is a bad idea. He’s so close, and he’s making to so clear that all you have to do is stop saying no, so…

One more time- “Get out of my head.”

“Never. Its too much fun here.”

“Then… “Then, you’re out of strength. “Ugh. Just kiss me, then, Freddy.”

Greasy Weasel:

Good god, you’ve never seen Greasy smile like that. You’ve been kidnapped by these assholes a million and one times, it seems, and you’ve seen him in various stages of undress because he’s a whore but this?? This, is terrifying. He’s practically licking his chops at you.

“Oh cariño~ So glad to hear you finally giving in to me~ We have much to try together.”

Oh, god. Your face is totally hot, looking left and right and searching for an immediate exit. Wheezy! “Wheezy, don’t you- where are you going? Don’t you dare leave me alone in here with him!!”

“Who the hell am I to stand in the way of true love?” He doesn’t laugh as he leaves the room, but the cruel delight in his tone evident. Your jaw drops as the door falls shut behind him and you’re left alone with the sex-crazed weasel, furious, before turning back to Greasy- mouth still wide open. This is ridiculous!-

Backing off from him slowly, you raise your hands in defence. “… Greasy come on… I was joking, you know that right?- “ Desperately, you try to reason with him- knowing its no use as he stalks over to you.

“Close your mouth, beautiful one,” Gently, Greasy pushes your mouth shut and that just makes your face even hotter than before- unbearably hot actually- you need a bucket of ice right now. “You’ve already caught me.”

… Is he equating himself to a fly? Is that supposed to be a line?? Oh jesus christ he’s so dumb-

Then, because Greasy is not the type to let an opportunity like this go to waste, he kisses you for the very first time.

He presses his lips right onto yours; Kisses you deep, like he’s been waiting for this for a long damn time- which he has. Meanwhile all you can think is that he’s never been so close to you before, you can smell his horrible cologne and feel his warmth all over and you couldn’t explain what happened next if you wanted to. Because the next thing that happened was that you moaned. Almost like… you’ve been waiting for this a long damn time, too.

You moaned… at Greasy Weasel’s kiss. And you wanted to reach out and pull him closer, too! The feral monkey part of your brain wanted to push the bastard down onto the couch, wrap your legs around his waist and part your lips. Luckily you retained sense enough not to do that, at least. At least!

… But he still heard you moan for him.

And so when he pulls back theirs a shit eating grin on his face that you wish you know you’re going to regret not slapping later on, but right now you’re in shock. Are you crazy? You enjoyed that???

“So the truth comes out~ You want me too~ “

“No!- “

“Ah ah ah, cariño~ There’s no denying your own body~ “

“Oh yes I can!”

“C’mon… “

“Listen here, you will not do that again to me- “

“Sí, I will.”

“Greasy, I swear to GOD- “

Against your wishes, Greasy leans across and smothers your lips with his again and- yes- you could have pulled back; He wasn’t gripping you in anyway and you weren’t cornered.

But- you stood there anyway, rooted to the spot and kissed him back.

Hades:

“Oh… yeah?~ ”

“Kidding!” You snort, turning away from the God and making to walk off. “That’s never gonna happen. See you around, Hade- Oh crap! - “He materialises in front of you again and one look at his face tells you everything. He thinks he has a real shot with you now because you said that one little thing to him!

Oh, damn.

Raising your hands is surrender at Hades, you give a nervous grin. “Really, I was just teasing. I’m sorry. Now, I gotta go- “You try to swerve him again, but he just dissipates into smoke and then abruptly reappears in front of you once again.

“Ah ah ah, c’mon… Secrets out, babe, no need to play hard to get anymore.”

“I’m not playing hard-to-get, I’m playing Escape Room.” You snap quickly, turning to try it one last time… but there’s a tree in your way, of-fucking-course, and it makes you let out a frustrated groan. What!? WHAT!? A TREE? Really??? Sighing and slumping, you turn back to Hades, lolling your head back to look at him in expectancy. “… So, what’s next, then? You kidnap me off the Underworld and force pomegranates down my throat?”

The fire flickering atop his head crackles and a little grin quirks across your lips at his tell-tale tantrum indication. “I did not kidnap Demeter’s kid, that’s a myth. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not into the whole… incest fad, the rest of ‘em are.”

Making a disgusted face, all nose and a big frown, you reach over and give his shoulder a pat. “Well, good for you.”

“Though… I could take you whenever I like. See, up to this point Y/N I’ve been a gentleman.” Now, he slips away from you, gives you room to breath which you do- having not even realised you were holding it in the first place. Why would you??

“Oh? Coulda fooled me.”

“Aha,” The sound is without a hint of amusement at your words, and rather disdain- but Hades doesn’t get mad and he doesn’t turn around. Just goes on. “Anyway- the point is, I could.” The fire flickers up higher this time, making Hades’ excitement at the prospect evident. “But let me tell you, all that kidnapping business- its messy, and time consuming, and I’m a busy man. Besides, no need!” He turns around, and the smirk on his face makes a little fire burst in your insides. You try to ignore it, though, keeping your face straight. “You’ve just made it oh so obvious, babe, that you want me too.” You did what!? You merely flirted!- “So why fuck with the whole kidnapping plight?”

“Uh-… I-… “What do you even say to that? Its also becoming hard to think, under the heat of how he’s looking at you. This has happened before, of course, but all of a sudden you’re struggling to ignore it. “Hades, come on… “

Instead of responding this time, Hades just offers his hand to you. It’s a yes or no question, which should be easy to turn down, but you discover the shocking urge to say yes bubbling up inside you and hesitate.

… Do you really want to reject him?...

Offenderman:

“Hold on, hold on, hold ON! - “The words fly from your lips as soon as Offender turns to you fully, hands folded calmly in his pockets but a deeply amused grin on his face tells you everything that he’s thinking- loud and clear. Body hot under his heavy gaze, despite not having eyes at all, you wonder how on earth you can reign this situation back in… when there’s an acute possibility that you have just opened pandoras box. “… Um, ha… I was joking?”

“Sure… “Tentacles slide out from the little ripped holes in the back of his coat and slither around threateningly, making your eyes widen. You take a step back, more out of formality then real fear, eyeing the appendages hanging in the air prepared to strike at any given moment.

“I was!”

“No, I believe you.” He says, but you hear his tone and know that he’s lying; He doesn’t believe you at all. Offenderman thinks that you want him. Which is a very dangerous thing.

And its- of course, its- crazy! You don’t! No way. Never. No.

“… Okay… “

“Except- “Oh dear lord, here we go. You just fucking knew it. Why, oh why, did you have to be right?? Setting your jaw determinedly, you go to turn on Offender and continue down the hall to somewhere safe and not-so-alone with him, but he teleports in front of you- closer, this time. So he’s really craning his neck down to see you and you’re face-to-face with his chest. You heave a great sigh at the action, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest. “We both know that’s not true… You can hate me all you like but that doesn’t change the fact you wanna fuck the shit outta me. Or have me fuck you; Either way.”

Ugh. Come on, now- “I don’t hate you. I’m disgusted by you.”

“Even better.” He grins, a perverted glee entering his smooth voice.

“And you’re wrong.” You go on contrarily. “The only thing I want from you is for you to leave me alone for once.”

For a blissful moment, Offender doesn’t say a damn word more so that you’re considering another escape attempt, because maybe he’s bored, before he then takes a final step into your personal space and lowers his voice. “… You know,” He purrs. “… We could go with your story, if that’s how it’s gotta be.”

Looking up at him then, you tilt your head to the side quizzically. “What?”

“I won’t tell a soul about this… all you have t’ do is disappear with me for a while. Everyone can keep thinking you have some kinda ‘supernatural resistance to me’, which you and I both know doesn’t fucken exist, and you still get six or seven orgasms from me. Doesn’t that sound good?”

Your mouth falls open. Six of s e v e n!? “N- “

Damnit it- he can tell you’re intrigued, and you know because his evil, sharp smile widens. “Maybe eight.” Oh, hell-

“Eight!?”

“Yeah, that should be enough.”

Oh, you hate yourself for asking, but- “Enough… for what?”

“Well that’s the point you mortals usually get so fucken dumb you can’t count anymore.”

Okay… your face feels like an oven now. “That’s… I… “And you’re tongue-tied now! Oh, fantastic…

“But… you gotta tell me you want it. Consent and all that- and besides… I wanna hear it. So c’mon.” You’re shaking you head, but no words escape your lips, because you’re afraid of what might come out if you try, but Offender’s backing you into a wall now and when your back bumps into the old dusty wallpaper Slender hasn’t bothered to update in 2 centuries he ends up so close to you that you can feel the warmth of his much larger frame against yours. God, you can hear your blood pumping loudly in your ears, and your brains feeling fuzzy, and you’re suddenly very aware of the fact that the two of you are alone.

Which means- no witnesses. No one would know if you just… if you didn’t even say anything. You wouldn’t need to. Just nod, or reach out to him, or just drop to your knees even… Fuck.

“It’d be just between you and me, doll.”

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windvexer · 10 months

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"I could point-for-point, from memory, explain from the ground up every aspect they needed to begin creating their own path in such a way that produces results while keeping them safe and giving them the tools to solve problems" all jokes aside have you done this recently? :0 im very interested in reading about this. all good if its in your masterpost content though!!

Oh, this thing rears its head again! Haha.

And no, I can't do that on Tumblr! Big emphasis on the if I sat in the room with someone part of the original post.

What I was trying to convey in the original post is that I know a lot about the basics of witchcraft - the foundational stuff that people need to get started (and poke fun at myself for not being able to follow those same things).

Here's the problem! What you need to start your own path is not at all the same as what other people need. Everyone is unique, right? Or at least, unique enough that "here is a witchcraft program, everybody do X for five weeks and get back to me" is kinda useless.

I think it's more than safe to say I'm comfortable enough with the basics of my own path to explain them to someone who wanted to get started. But what basics, when, and applied to what ends?

These are the nuances impossible to capture in one-way communication from a blogger to a faceless audience.

It's not as simple as a 101 post, or a series of posts. I can try to post information as much as I want, but I'm not sure - from the place I currently stand - it would be possible for me to complete such a thing in writing unless it were like, a chunky book. And at that point you'd be better off going to someone who's been doing this for 20 or 30 years instead of 10.

#answered

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anotherhumaninthisworld · 1 year

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I want advice on how to properly study the French Revolution. Despite the presence of official sources from the contemporaries of the revolution period, you may find that the writer may tell lies about Robespierre or Saint-Just and others, and sometimes you may find books that do not convey the truth only because of the writer's bias towards his political ideas, as the writer may stand against Robespierre only because of his political orientation or his ideology in general without forgetting the emotional bias .. How can I study about the revolution without properly facing any kind of these problems .. because I'm new to frev community.

I can really relate to your struggle as I felt the same way when I started studying frev almost three years ago — everywhere I looked I found new claims which more often than not didn’t have a source attached to them, and this was made worse by the fact that it was clear the person writing very often did so less for the facts in themselves and more with the intention of convincing me how to think about a certain person or event. This just ended with me having some sort of minor crisis having no idea what was even real in the first place and what wasn’t. Now, there unfortunately exists no official ”proper” way on how to study history, everyone works differently. Likewise, it’s also impossible to study history without facing any sort of biases. That said, what cleared things for me personally was mainly getting hold of all the primary sources we have for Robespierre. Basically, the texts found within Oeuvres complètes de Robespierre, Papiers inédits trouves chez Robespierre, Saint-Just, Payan etc and Recueil des actes du comité de salut public are (with a few exceptions) the only things we can prove actually came from his brain. They are therefore the places where it’s most unlikely you’ll find any lies/biases/weird interpretations regarding him. I’ve already compiled these, along with several other primary sources, in this post, and @rbzpr has translated several of the texts found within them into English in case you don’t know French.

For contemporary descriptions, which I would argue are the sources that come in second place when it comes to learning about a historical person, you’re right in that balanced and three-dimensional ones are often really hard to find when it comes to Robespierre (and Saint-Just too I’m sure). This is because most descriptions we have of them were written not with the intention of giving a balenced and accurate picture of they were as people, but rather to convince its readers what good/bad guys they were. None of this does however mean that we should just ignore contemporary descriptions, they can still be an incredible historical source. What we do need to do is contextualize and critically analyze them before jumping to conclusions. A good way to do this would for example be to compare several contemporary descriptions in order to find similiarities and differences (that is what I tried to do in this post) and then critically think about and postulate on what the truth could be. If for example more than one person underlines a certain trait, then it is more likely for that to be true.

As for books, like I said before, you’ll never find any that doesn’t contain any sort of biases, no matter how neutral the author claims to have been. My own rule to avoid misinformation when it comes to books has basically become to not not trust anything that doesn’t have a source attached to it (so books that don’t use footnotes are pretty much wasted on me…). If you think that’s a bit too extreme, I would at least advice you to be cautious with sentences that start with ”It has been said that…” or ”An alleged story goes like…” because it’s not uncommon that will be followed by claims that might actually be apocryphal but hold themselves alive anyway just because no one bothers to check their origin properly.

If you were to ask me for just one book to read if you want to hear the Real Story in regards to Robespierre, without any biases in neither direction, I’d probably say Robespierre (2014) by Hervé Leuwers. When reading it, I never really get the feeling that the author particulary likes nor dislikes Robespierre, he’s just treating him like a normal person and telling his story as far as the primary sources allow him and without ever letting his own theories/ideas get the upper hand. However, I don’t know if it’s too advanced for someone who has just started studying frev (I myself got it when I had already studied it for about a year so idk). It’s also in French, which I don’t know if you know or not… The Robespierre biography that I’d say I found the most helpful when I was new to this was probably Robespierre (1935) by British historian J.M Thompson. While Thompson will give his opinion on things going on more than Leuwers does, it’s easy to tell what is fact and what is interpretation. His biography is also very rigorously sourced, and he has chosen to include and analyse almost every single one of Robespierre’s letters and bigger speeches.

If anyone has any other advice on how to best study frev without meeting too many biases, feel free to share!

#frev #robespierre #ask #french revolution

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jwowwsboobs · 1 year

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max is soooo fucking real for the nasty adidas hightops i have a pair like that too and they r the best shoes in the world..

anyways wanted to ask abt jack. why do u think she was the way she was? like what drove her, etc etc

i love this question and im SOOOOO sorry it took me for fucking EVER to spit this shit out but I had to think abt it. no read more scroll fast idgaf

jacks personality is full of contradictions. she was both impossibly overconfident and self-assured and cripplingly insecure; frighteningly unpredictable while simultaneously seeking stability and working to sabotage it; paranoid of betrayal and abandonment while treating her friends like shit...and all of these things are compounded by her intense and long-lasting (well. comparative long lasting its not like it was a 20, 30, 40+ year...) struggle with substance abuse and unknown, untreated, unacknowledged, whatever, mental illness(es?). I think the simple answer is that she wanted to feel complete and accepted. which she never did! but the long answer...is not quite that simple

jack's parents divorced when she was about 3...growing up she n her mother moved around a lot. i think the longest she n her mother stayed in one city/town was like. 10 months. she was a total tomboy! hated hated hated skirts n dresses. she was always a troublemaker, always very aggressive. she never had many friends growing up cuz she would just suddenly have to leave them, and she eventually figured out that it was easier to just. not make friends with people. had difficulty getting along with peers n got into fights a lot (which continued into her adult life), probably because of that. she never did well in school, likely thanks to her frequent moves and energy/aggression. she never learned to read very well (she was likely more functionally illiterate than truly illiterate but still stands. she cannot read or write very well.)

as she got older, and her peers began expressing interest in "romance" and "boys" and she had no interest in men or whatever (look, I think that any way of trying to put it will sound stupid as shit so bear with me here) it became even more difficult for her to relate to her peers. was she teased for it? probably. did she beat people up over romantic slights? absolutely. but her interest at the time was the emerging heavy metal and (punk) rock and tht took precedence over literally everything else. she got into black sabbath when she was 12/13 n punk thanks to the sex pistols when she was abt 13/14 n motorhead around the same time. motorhead really sparked her love for heavy metal, but venom was her favortie! she started playing guitar after hearing sabbath. with motorhead and punk she found something close the speed and aggression shed been .. not struggling with but feeling I guess, her whole life but it wasn't enough. when she found venom, it was much closer to what she...felt like. but that was 81, 2 months after moving to southern california! in 78 when she found punk and motorhead, she started going to seedy sketchy bars and clubs and parties, joined and quit bands, and started drinking, a habit she was never able to quit. her mom kicked jack out when she was about 15/16 and had dropped out of high school to literally do nothing but practice guitar, and she basically couch surfed on bandmates' couches and at groupies' houses, until eventually moving to southern california and eventually meeting gale. she moved in with gale after joining artery the sumer of '82. and I guess the rest is...not history but covered pretty well elsewhere on this blog!

but why would she play guitar? why not just do all the drugs available to her and fucking die at 17?

the only reason I can come up with is that she didnt feel like the music was extreme enough to really convey how she felt. she didnt feel that it was fast enough or aggressive enough or frightening enough and decided that she would be the one to bring the speed and extremity to metal! and in doing so that would legitimize her place as a women, and a "closeted" lesbian dyke in metal and she wouldn't feel so...unhappy. so I think thats what drove her. I think eventually she hit a wall and playing guitar just wasn't enough anymore and thats wht killed her. so i would say thats what drove her.

#closeted in quotes cuz. well. look at her stupid fucking (unwashed) ass. anyway. IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK 2 MONTHS LOL THNK U 4 ASKING THO <33 #<333 much love angel this was so fun 4 me 2 think abt #frank #artery tag #jack #asks

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brydigdraws · 1 year

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So these are long overdue lmao

I didn’t quite realise how 2021 was The Year of Crowley (2020 was The Year of Aziraphale) and 2022 was The Year of Izzy until I put these summaries together

I didn’t manage to account for every month these past two years, and 2022 is looking particularly sketchy (quite literally). This is because Shit Went Down :) I’m going to summarise it below for my own benefit▼

Personal/philosophical ramble under cut

In 2021 I had a lot going on, which I think explains the lack of art in June and August (memory’s fuzzy), and why I never posted some of the art in the summary here on tumblr (miiight post Nov and Dec soon-ish). In 2022 things initially screeched to a halt and I had the worst art crisis (and personal crisis tbh) I’ve ever had. Basically I had a really hard time drawing anything without it feeling completely soulless and of worse quality than my actual skill level, which heavily impacted my motivation to draw (sometimes my ofmd obsession came out on top lmao, but that fanart still felt like it was lacking something essential 99% of the time). I drew less, and felt worse for drawing less, which made me draw even less, repeat ad infinitum. It wasn’t until solidly into Autumn that I realised the root of the problem: I had tied the label “artist” so closely to my identity that it had effectively become my identity. And since it was my identity, I felt I had to become a professional artist or be miserable, and in order to become a professional artist I felt I had to constantly focus on honing my skills and get better, nitpick everything in every drawing and strive for impossible perfection, and “draw every day” as all the professional artists advice you to do (I have never managed to draw every day, and my failure to do so made me feel like I was lagging behind). Drawing had slowly but steadily become some insane rat race to me and eventually it ruined my art because I couldn’t appreciate where I was at. Actually finishing a piece of art felt like an incredibly arduous task with little reward (which is why I only really “finished” two pieces last year). I had drained myself of the inherent joy of creating. But realising this didn’t solve the problem, not on its own, because if the fact was “artist is my whole identity” the question then became “If I don’t create art, am I anything at all?”, and the answer for some time was “No.”

I have since found joy and genuine excitement in other types of creating (not that I hadn’t before, but never above a hobbyist level) with potential career opportunities that won’t make my daily life “miserable” (fun fact about me: my biggest fears are the unknown and having my soul ground down by the tireless gears of capitalism). This has helped me stress less about “becoming a professional artist” (something I’m still certain I’d enjoy, despite it all) and find some identity outside of art, but that perfectionist/improvement mindset in relation to my art didn’t start to leave me until a few days before New Year’s. That’s when I was suddenly inspired to make the Ed/Izzy sketch representing Dec ‘22 in the summary above. I had effectively given up on my art at that point, but my mental image was so strong I had to commit it to (digital) paper, no matter if it turned out like shit or not (which, in retrospect, is probably the most visceral motivation an artist can have for practicing their craft). Having no expectations on myself, and with the single-minded drive to capture the ~vibes~ and nothing more, I found the act of drawing fun and near effortless for the first time in fucking years. That’s when it clicked. You don’t have to try and make every aspect of a drawing perfect, and not every drawing needs to be properly rendered; just focus on the one or few most important things you need to be able to convey what it is you want to convey (in this case it was the overall poses and facial expressions). The rest may not be perfect, but it wouldn’t have been even if you tried to make it so, because perfection is fucking unattainable (as much as my chronically perfectionist ass wishes it wasn’t). Trying to attain it is a fool’s errand that’ll slowly eat you up, and your audience will most probably not even notice or care about the difference.

Audiences, especially online audiences, are arguably their own potential source of artist brainrot (and not the fun kind), and I’m of the firm opinion that art can definitely be made for no one’s eyes other than the artist’s own (in opposition to the mindset that the purpose of all art is for it to be shared with external parties) - my own art from years ago being an example of this. But I have found sharing my art with others to be such an inherent joy to me that I don’t think I’ll ever fully stop doing it, and will continue to try my best not to fall into the mental pitfalls that can come with it.

I don’t think my relationship to my own art is fully mended (and I’ve likely failed to see some of the cracks), but it’s definitely better now than it has been in a long, long while.

in short, thanks to edizzy’s dysfunctional marriage for helping me not give up on art I guess

#template by DustBunnyThumper on dA #my art #summary of art #fan art #original #suggestive #in regards to the contents of the read more: this does NOT mean art uploads will be more frequent; I am a spotty bitch and that's chronic

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robininthelabyrinth · 2 years

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Extra for Tedious Joys: Lan Qiren, still not well after Cangse Sanren death, goes to Qishan for the "conference" instead of Lao Nie. After few hours of Wen Ruohan in his worst mood and Wen Xu and Wen Chao emulating their father, he went 'is anyone gonna teach this kids?' and didn't wait for an answer

Relentless - ao3 (chapter 1)

“Why are we even here?” Wen Xu groused.

“Yeah! That’s right! Why are we here?” Wen Chao immediately chimed, very obviously taking his cues from his elder brother – much to the latter’s irritation, judging by his immediate scowl.

Lan Qiren knew that he needed to pick his next words very carefully. With recalcitrant students, a teacher only had a few opportunities to really connect with them. If he allowed them to dismiss him or categorize him as an enemy at this early stage, it would be an incredibly uphill battle to gain enough respect in order to teach them anything, and in this case, given the strength of their background and the fact that this little teaching session was both likely to be short and definitely completely unauthorized, it would quite possibly make it completely impossible to ever get through to them.

“You are here,” Lan Qiren said solemnly, each word slow and thoughtful, “because your father is an ass.”

Complete silence.

As he’d hoped. Taking advantage of their shock, Lan Qiren flicked his sleeves back and sat down at the front of the small room he’d found – not quite a classroom, more like a windowless closet, but it had desks and a seat he could pull to the front, anyway, and that would do the trick in a pinch.

“I am not asking you to bow to me as your teacher,” he said flatly. “Sect Leader Wen would undoubtedly not permit it, and, regardless, I do not take on students that do not go through the proper process. However, it offends me on a fundamental level that you have reached your present ages without having mastered the most basics of requirements of a scholar, so I am going to instruct you on those basics today.”

Also, it would serve very well as an excuse to get Lan Qiren out of that awful party.

What in the world had possessed him to insist on going to Sect Leader Wen’s little gathering in Lao Nie’s place to convey the other man's regrets for not attending, especially when he was still not at his full strength following his past illness? He wasn’t the one that Wen Ruohan wanted to see here – and the man had made no effort to hide that obvious fact, either.

Lan Qiren might have been able to grit his teeth and bear it, only he’d seen the two Wen boys acting as if their father’s wretched behavior was an appropriate role model, had heard them trying to boast to their lackeys and getting basic facts completely wrong, and, well…here they were.

Whether they should be here or not was a different matter, but they were here.

“…can he say that?” Wen Chao asked his brother in an undertone, sounding shocked and appalled. Wen Xu still looked dazed as if he’d been struck on the head; they were both very clearly still fixated on his initial statement. “About Father? He can’t say that, right?”

“I – I don’t – ”

“As you know, I am the acting Sect Leader Lan,” Lan Qiren interjected smoothly. “I am your father’s peer and equal –”

Well, as much as anyone was. Technically, he was, anyway, even if the Lan sect was no match for the Wen in martial prowess or wealth or dominion over others, and he himself nowhere near a match for a cultivation monster like Wen Ruohan.

Lan Qiren also didn’t actually care about his rank, of course, technically or otherwise. If he’d had his way, his brother would still be sect leader rather than trapped in an unending seclusion of his own making and he’d be wandering the world and its many wonders, a sword at his side and a guqin on his back, instead of being stuck as an acting sect leader that no one inside the sect really respected, who desperately pursued his hobby of teaching students from outside their sect as the only thing that would make him not go completely mad.

But this wasn’t about him: the Wen sect cared immensely about rank and status. Every friend the Wen boys possessed had been carefully vetted to be of appropriately high status, and even the parties held at the Nightless City were divided up in such a way that the lowest ranking sect leaders could only mingle outside, yearning to get invited into the inner circles and becoming increasingly willing to do anything to get there.

If rank was what it took to make a connection here, he would use it.

“– but in the interest of letting this lesson flow in a smooth manner, you may refer to me as Teacher Lan, or simply ‘Teacher’ if you prefer. Wen Xu!”

Wen Xu startled and sat up straight, blinking owlishly at him.

“How do you differentiate between yao, mo, gui and guai?”

“Uh,” he said, blinking rapidly. It was an easy question, and one Lan Qiren liked to start off questioning with, since most people knew it even when they weren’t exceptionally good students. People liked to answer questions when they knew the answer, and would do so even if they didn’t actually need to. “That is – yao are formed out of living non-humans, while mo are formed…”

Lan Qiren kept up the rhythm for a while, question and answer. Every time Wen Xu got something wrong, he would correct him, then turn and fire off some questions at Wen Chao – even easier ones, of course, given the difference in age between them, but still ones he should know. Any time Wen Chao erred, he’d turn back to Wen Xu, leaving neither of them time to be smug at the other’s missteps.

It was fairly evident that the two of them had no natural fellow-feeling as brothers, likely due to having been played against each other for years on end. Lan Qiren wasn’t sure if it was Wen Ruohan who’d done it deliberately for whatever reason or if it was simply their mothers’ instigation, but that sort of ridiculous internal politics had no room in their current cultivation world. Wen Ruohan wasn’t actually an emperor, after all; in the end, they would both represent the Wen sect against the other sects, and they were better off as a united front, with a bond the rest of the sects wouldn’t be able to undermine. Even if they couldn’t be expected to be as close as his own nephews, who were blood brothers, then it was still far better that they follow the example of Lao Nie’s boys, who were half-siblings as well but utterly devoted to one other.

Of course, that wasn’t something he could fix over the course of a single afternoon. But that didn’t mean there was any reason to allow them to misbehave while under his watch.

Once he’d finished the initial examination, Lan Qiren moved on to more practical exercises. Wen Chao was miserably behind in basically everything, up to and including literacy, while Wen Xu was very good in some areas and absolutely useless in others, completely unbalanced. Mindful of the fact that they had no real reason to respect him or listen to him, Lan Qiren opted for a more unorthodox method that had served him well in the past with some of the more rambunctious of his students: he set up a weiqi board and permitted them to make a move for every complete scripture they were able to produce, Wen Xu remembering and reciting while Wen Chao painstakingly wrote it out.

Weiqi had never been Lan Qiren’s strength, although he had mastered it the way all gentlemen must and even enjoyed it in the cheerfully blundering way that most amateurs had, and it came as little surprise that with the two of them together they were very nearly able to prevent a complete trouncing.

“Three moves,” Wen Xu muttered almost feverishly when they finished the first game. “I could have – if I’d only had three more moves –”

“You may have as many moves as you like, provided you complete the work,” Lan Qiren said. He himself was also writing out the scriptures, then pondering and taking his moves; it was only fair for him to be under the same burden as them, although of course he actually knew all the things he was writing out and thereby took less time. “I did not actually set a rule that we needed to take turns.”

“…are you saying I could’ve taken multiple turns if we’d finished faster?”

Lan Qiren hummed in assent.

“Another game!” Wen Xu demanded, then turned to Wen Chao. “And you, write faster!”

“If there are errors in either the writing or the content, the move is invalidated,” Lan Qiren said mildly. “You are welcome to encourage him to maximize speed, but you may regret it.”

Wen Xu took the bait he’d left out there and moved over to helping his brother with his writing, supervising to reduce errors while wracking his brain to think of more sentences (ideally, short ones) that would meet Lan Qiren’s criteria for what was necessary to make a move. Wen Chao was practically vibrating from excitement the entire time. It was plainly obvious that he idolized his brother and took him as his guide in all things, even as he pretended to disdain and fear him the way someone had clearly told him he should – he was too young for that sort of thing to have actually sunk in, thankfully, like a dog that hadn’t quite been kicked enough times to stay away. The important part, though, was that he actually listened when Wen Xu instructed him, and tried his best to write the words out correctly.

He didn’t always succeed, but he was sincerely trying, as he very rarely did.

“Hm,” Lan Qiren said, examining one effort that had left them both red-faced – it was wrong, but consistently so. “I’ll accept it.”

“He misspelled half the words. As always!” Wen Xu hissed, clearly hideously embarrassed, and Wen Chao turned his face away in shame.

“Only if you don’t account for his visual imbalance,” Lan Qiren said, and they both turned to stare at him. “If you do, it’s fine, and thereby qualifies.”

“Visual imbalance? What’s that?”

“I’m not a doctor, I don’t know the details even if I can recognize it when I see it. To my understanding, it’s something to do with a blockage in the meridians that circulate qi to the eyes…the words move around on the page, is that it?” he asked Wen Chao, who looked stunned but slowly nodded. “The first time you look, the strokes are in the wrong place – even if you read it several times, it never accords? You have to squint at the words and use all your focus before you can clear up the issue, and even that doesn’t always work?”

Another nod.

“And this problem doesn’t arise when it comes to mathematics?”

He shook his head, confirming Lan Qiren’s suspicion.

“It’s not uncommon. In many cases, it becomes less serious as you age and your cultivation increases; the key is making sure that you don’t learn the wrong characters in your youth.” As Wen Chao very clearly had. “Are you going to make your move?”

Wen Xu immediately spun to focus on the weiqi board, but Wen Chao was still staring at Lan Qiren, open-mouthed with shock.

He glanced briefly at his brother, who was muttering to himself as he pondered strategies, then leaned forward and grabbed at Lan Qiren’s sleeve, tugging it. “Are you sure it’s because of that?” he asked in a pitched whisper. “Isn’t it just because I’m stupid?”

“You’re badly educated, not stupid,” Lan Qiren told him sternly. “You’re a very clever little boy and you know it, which is why it frustrates you so much to get chastised for failing to perform basic scholastic tasks. That, in turn, thereby renders you uninterested in them. That is a completely logical response, nothing to do with stupidity.”

Wen Chao seemed shaken by this direct attack.

“If you want to avoid such chastisement, there are methods to help compensate for your imbalance, as well as a sort of resin you can chew to help settle your restlessness as you study; quite a few of my students have benefited from it in the past,” Lan Qiren added. “I will leave you a note that you can pass along to your teacher, whoever they are, and with any luck that will assist you in the future.”

It would be best if Wen Ruohan could be convinced to send the boys to him, he thought to himself. Unfortunately, it seemed highly unlikely, even given his reputation of being a teacher capable of turning even the most useless trash into a proper gentleman. After all, sending them to him would still involve admitting that there was something the Wen sect couldn’t provide, and therefore it was likely to be deemed unacceptable as an affront to Wen Ruohan’s ridiculously overweening pride.

Lan Qiren thought it was rather ridiculous, all told. Sending children to him wouldn’t admit anything other than convenience – of course, in his opinion, he wasn’t actually anything special as a teacher. His reputation had been obtained wholly by accident; he had merely been more desperate than most to get students for himself, and willing to accept anyone he could get to come. Like most sects these days, Lan sect children were traditionally taught by a wide variety of teachers rather than each one having a single shizun to follow, leaving him with little to do in most cases – anyway, even if they used the old approach, the only children he’d ever actually accept as personal disciples were his nephews – and so he’d cast his net out to the other sects instead. Naturally those other sects did not want to allow an outsider to teach their children, but most of them had a few ‘problem children’, as they were often termed, and those they were willing to send to him out of sheer frustration. For those children, Lan Qiren exercised the utmost limits of his patience and ingenuity, and he’d managed to do well with any number of them…and somehow somewhere along the line it had turned into a reputation that he thought was rather overblown.

The only use of such a reputation was in getting him access to even more students, including those of the type he favored most, the obedient ones that wanted to learn. Unfortunately, it also meant his services as a teacher were now considered desirable, even fashionable, and suddenly his classes were full not only of students that needed instruction but those that would barely condescend to it. Lan Qiren had a great deal less patience for those ‘genius’ students who fancied themselves too good for his lessons and instead sought to disrupt them at every instance, clowning around and harming the education of others simply because they themselves didn’t require it – there was a wide gulf between the arrogance of people like Wen Xu, who desperately needed the help but had too much pride to admit to it, and some of the jackass ‘prodigies’ he’d been forced to accept as the price of getting some of the students he actually wanted.

The frustrating thing was, a little bit of one-on-one tutoring would help these two boys so much…maybe, despite it all, it was worth trying to speak to Wen Ruohan directly, to at least try to point him in the right direction. As a rule, Lan Qiren tried to avoid conversing with Wen Ruohan as much as possible, insofar as it was possible given their respective roles as sect leaders of Great Sects – the other man was slick and cunning and too often cruel, and he didn’t think very much of Lan Qiren.

That was because of Lao Nie, though it wasn’t really the man’s fault, or even Lan Qiren’s. It was simply that Lao Nie was charming and charismatic, magnetic enough to overcome even Wen Ruohan’s usual disdain of all people not surnamed Wen, only he didn’t respond to Wen Ruohan’s begrudging grant of favor by dropping all his other friends and spending all his time paying court to Wen Ruohan the way the other man clearly thought he ought to be doing. Lan Qiren was one of Lao Nie’s friends, their sects long-standing allies, and that fact clearly rubbed Wen Ruohan the wrong way.

It had only been a few years ago that Lao Nie had even sent his own son and heir to join Lan Qiren’s classes – Nie Mingjue was a charming boy, a genius but not irritating with it, and it had been a pleasure to teach him. It had been Lao Nie’s well-meant attempt to encourage Lan Qiren’s teaching efforts, but it had immediately been misinterpreted in flagrant ways all over the cultivation world, including by people who took relish in suggesting that it was evidence of a more personal connection between the two sect leaders. This scurrilous rumor (wholly baseless) was of course ridiculous, but it would probably have been far less of a problem if Lao Nie were not also, as Lan Qiren suspected, in the midst of his own clandestine affair with Wen Ruohan.

Lao Nie had such bad taste.

Really, given the rumors and misunderstandings and his rather infamous possessiveness, it was no real surprise that Wen Ruohan couldn’t stand Lan Qiren, but Lan Qiren couldn’t help but wish the man could be a little more mature about it. Sure, he wasn’t quite as insufferable as Jin Guangshan, who continued to compare Lan Qiren to his brother despite it having been oven ten years since Lan Qiren had assumed the role, but Wen Ruohan was far better at finding all of Lan Qiren’s sore spots to press on. All those little jibes about his lack of experience and indifferent reputation for night-hunting…

“Let us shift over to traditional lessons,” he said, seeing that the second game had ended in a hard-fought tie that made Wen Xu preen with pride like a crow on the verge of mating season. “Wen Xu, since you have been criticizing your brother’s handwriting, let us see a demonstration of your own.”

He froze. “Uh…”

Lan Qiren opted to start again with some easier elements. It was clear that Wen Xu greatly valued being right, or rather that he valued being validated, and it was equally clear he didn’t especially care if he actually was right as long as he could win praise. Lan Qiren’s praise was sparingly given, and only when deserved; he made that very clear, and made Wen Xu work for it while Wen Chao focused on his own assignment, which was to learn a calligraphy style that was more easily readable for imbalanced eyes.

If only he had more than a single afternoon…!

He sighed, regretful. The boys weren’t actually all that bad as students, really, and certainly not as bad as he’d initially feared. All it took was gaining their respect, however temporarily – the trick of knocking them off balance with crudeness was really only effective in the short-term – and they were willing to try their best, and that was all he really asked.

He noted Wen Chao stifling a yawn, his third, and regretfully decided that it was time to draw the teaching session to a close. He’d probably kept them for too long, anyway; the party might even now be winding down, and it was essential that he slip back in amongst the crowd unnoticed.

“Let me see where you are,” he ordered, and examined what they brought him. “Wen Xu, this essay is persuasive and well-organized. Wen Chao, you’ve made greater strides in learning the new style than I would have expected. You have both done well.”

Both boys looked taken aback for a moment, then glowed with pride.

“That will be all for today,” Lan Qiren continued. “I will write assessments for you later, since we will not be continuing your lessons further –”

“Why not?”

Lan Qiren froze in place, and felt a sudden sympathy to Wen Xu for all the times he’d put him on the spot earlier.

That low voice, amused and smooth as the silk used to hang empresses, was most definitely not one of the boys. Wen Ruohan himself was standing at the door, watching them with that faint smirk that always danced on his lips, making him look three times as dangerous a predator as any of the targets in the organized night-hunts set up by the sects for entertainment.

And right now, his gaze was fixed very firmly on Lan Qiren.

At that point, Lan Qiren very abruptly realized that not only did he very much did not have permission for this little impulsive foray into tutoring, but also that taking two boys under the age of adulthood away from the supervision of their assigned minders, however useless, and keeping them with him for an entire afternoon could be willfully misinterpreted as kidnapping if one were inclined to make trouble.

Such as, say, Wen Ruohan often was.

“Sect Leader Wen,” Lan Qiren said politely, keeping his dignity and rising to his feet even as both Wen Xu and Wen Chao turned and ran over to their father at once, each one crowing loudly about their achievements. Wen Xu kept trying to tell him about the fact that he’d nearly beaten Lan Qiren at weiqi even with one hand tied behind his back – metaphorically, of course, he was referring to Wen Chao’s writing speed – while Wen Chao kept hanging off of his father’s sleeve and telling him that he wasn’t stupid, that he’d managed nearly a whole page of words without getting tired, that he’d managed to be helpful…

“Enough,” Wen Ruohan said, and they both fell silent, pulling away to stand properly at attention in front of him. He surveyed them thoughtfully. “Teacher Lan said you did well?”

They both nodded and looked at him hopefully.

“Then you have done well.”

Both boys looked as overjoyed as if the day had suddenly been declared both their birthdays and also the New Year.

“Dismissed,” Wen Ruohan added, and turned his gaze to Lan Qiren as the boys both dashed out of the room with skips in their steps.

Lan Qiren had by now arranged his sleeves such that his hands were linked together in a formal posture.

“I overstepped my boundaries,” he said, admitting his fault openly – although not quite going the extra step of asking for forgiveness. It was not wise to show weakness in front of a tiger, even if it already knew. “I hope I have not troubled you in doing so.”

“Oh, you overstepped,” Wen Ruohan said, voice light and mocking. “Is that what we call it now, when you whisk my boys out of my sight to some hidden room where no one can see what you’re up to?”

Lan Qiren suppressed a sigh: of course Wen Ruohan immediately went there.

“I meant no harm,” he said, then added, “Sect Leader Wen,” hoping that the title would serve as a reminder of their equivalent status.

“No, indeed, or else I would have found you doing something very different than teaching them,” Wen Ruohan said dryly, still sounding amused, and Lan Qiren suppressed a wince. “What was that A-Chao was saying about – an imbalance, was it?”

Lan Qiren blinked, taken aback. He’d been bracing himself to hear a list of whatever benefits Wen Ruohan saw fit to try to extract over his misstep – that was how their interactions usually went, with Lan Qiren at his most proper and Wen Ruohan looking for any little bit of leverage he could, knowing as he did how unsteady and uncertain Lan Qiren’s foundation in his own sect was. He was always pushing and pulling at every weakness he could find, always scheming for benefits or something he could use to his sect’s advantage.

Lan Qiren hadn’t expected him to focus on…on, well, being a student’s parent.

Perhaps there was some hope.

For the children, at least. Lan Qiren was sure Wen Ruohan would go back to the politics of it all later, after his initial concerns had been assuaged.

“The doctors in my sect don’t have a proper name for it, but I’m given to understand that it functions as a burden to the eyes, in particular when one attempts to read. Accordingly I have chosen to call it a ‘visual imbalance’,” Lan Qiren explained, glad for the opportunity to speak on the subject. “The official theory for the cause is a blocked or impeded meridian of some sort or another. It is uncommon, although not rare, in children; for some, it resolves itself in adolescence, while for others it persists. I have seen it in quite a number of my students – it is often mistaken for stupidity or willful misconduct, as their eyesight is generally fine when it comes to other aspects of their lives, such as swordplay. In many cases, they’re even simultaneously capable of reading numbers for the purposes of mathematics or other things that do not involve words…”

“And you believe A-Chao has this imbalance?”

“Yes, I do. His ability to do sums by far outstrips his literacy, which is unusual in his age group. Furthermore, I had him practice his writing and you can see he’s learned a few of the characters incorrectly, such that he repeatedly makes the same mistake…”

Wen Ruohan was smiling at him. Not a real smile, his eyes remained as dead as always, but an unnervingly thoughtful one – the sheer degree of focus and intensity was almost palpable. It made Lan Qiren remember with whom he was speaking, and the dangers thereof. He trailed off and cleared his throat, adding, “I’m sure his teacher has said similar things to you already.”

“He has not,” Wen Ruohan said, still smiling. “Something I will undoubtedly need to mention when I next speak with him. Perhaps he was too scared of me to say anything.”

That was – not unlikely.

“In fact, I find myself encountering that problem a great deal as of late.” Wen Ruohan shook his head in mock sadness. “When one becomes as powerful as I have become, it seems that many of those around me choose to prioritize what they believe I wish to hear over the truth. A truly regretful state of affairs.”

“Perhaps it would happen less often if you didn’t throw the messengers into your Fire Palace whenever they gave you bad news,” Lan Qiren said, voice acidic. He’d seen it happen earlier that very day – the foolish man who’d said something about the new saber Wen Ruohan had been gifted being not as impressive as Lao Nie’s had been dragged out of the main hall by force. It was quite obvious that the man had just been starting trouble to begin with, but Wen Ruohan’s rage had only grown more and more as time went on and he dwelled on the taunt further and further, and it had ultimately peaked when Lao Nie had failed to answer his summons to bring his Jiwei to compare as he had demanded. In the end, absent anyone else to rage against, he had turned his anger onto his unfortunate subordinate…

“Are you criticizing me, Teacher Lan?” Wen Ruohan still seemed amused.

“Merely offering friendly advice,” Lan Qiren said coldly. He didn’t know what to make of Wen Ruohan’s choice to address him as teacher rather than sect leader. It was now the second time he had done so, both today and ever, and his usual emphasis on the title seemed to signify that he meant something by it.

Lan Qiren wished, not for the first time, that he was a little better at understanding people. Perhaps, if he was, he might understand what the implication was. As it was, if Wen Ruohan thought he was successfully conveying something, he was very wrong.

“You’re very good at that,” Wen Ruohan said, and Lan Qiren arched his eyebrows. “Teaching, not advice. I’d heard stories of your – shall we say, your prowess in that field, and I must admit I’d doubted it.”

Wen Ruohan was definitely going somewhere with this.

“I appreciate the compliment,” Lan Qiren said cautiously.

“Oh, no need to be so modest,” Wen Ruohan said, stepping forward and – of all things – reaching out to straighten the lapels of Lan Qiren’s robes, as if he were some sort of servant and Lan Qiren the master. He somehow managed to make the gesture terrifying. “They say you can work miracles, don’t they? Turning even a waste into a gentleman. And for my part, I’ve found myself rather the expert on the subject of teachers, adequate or otherwise. You see, I’ve gone through quite a number of teachers for my boys these past few months – either they quit in frustration or I have to get rid of them…inadequate, one and all.”

He didn’t lift his hands from Lan Qiren’s chest, and the weight of them burned warm.

“…do you want to send your sons to study at the Cloud Recesses next year?” Lan Qiren hazarded a guess. It seemed implausible, but not outside the bounds of possibility. “We accept outsiders –”

“Let us not be imprecise. You accept outsiders as students, not your sect. The Lan sect’s devotion to its rules is famous, but previous generations have only allowed observers to attend lectures sparingly – as rare as a discussion conference.”

“That is correct,” Lan Qiren said, because it was. Even if he were inclined to argue the point, which he wasn’t, it wasn’t like he could come up with anything that would serve to counter Wen Ruohan, who had been there to see a number of those previous generations personally. “But what does it matter?”

Wen Ruohan’s smile broadened. “It matters quite a lot, as it happens. You see, I’ve decided that I want you to be my sons’ teacher.”

Lan Qiren blinked, surprised but not displeased. “We can make arrangements for them to stay at the Cloud Recesses during the summer months, then,” he said, then frowned when Wen Ruohan shook his head in the negative. “Summer is traditional for guest disciples, but if you have need of them during those months, I am certain an exception can be made. What season can you spare them best?”

“None at all, of course,” Wen Ruohan said. “I’m afraid you’ve misunderstood. I don’t intend to send my boys to Gusu.”

“Then – how –”

“My dear Teacher Lan, don’t be obtuse! You will come here, instead.”

“You are the one being obtuse,” Lan Qiren said, his heart racing inexplicably. He stepped back, trying to get away from Wen Ruohan’s hands, but Wen Ruohan stepped forward at the same moment, keeping the distance between them – too close for his comfort already – the same, and now Lan Qiren was pressed back against a wall. “Sect Leader Wen, I taught your sons for a single afternoon as a means of passing the time. Even if I were to stay an additional week on top of the days I’ve already spent here for your party, which is already more time than I can spare, that would still not be enough time to implement an adequate course of education. Your sons require a full-time teacher for at least a season if you are to see any impact.”

Wen Ruohan nodded agreeably. “That makes sense.”

“Then you see, it is impossible –”

“I dislike having to repeat myself,” Wen Ruohan said, and his hands suddenly tightened, moving forward and pulling Lan Qiren towards him by the lapels until their faces were right next to each other. He was still smiling. “Allow me to make myself clear. You are going to be my boys’ teacher, and you are going to do it from here. That means that you, dear Teacher Lan, will be staying in my Nightless City for as long as it takes for their education to meet my satisfaction.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lan Qiren snapped. “I’m the Lan sect’s sect leader –”

“No,” Wen Ruohan said. “You are the acting sect leader.”

“What difference does it make?!”

Wen Ruohan laughed, sharp and not altogether sane.

“All the difference in the world, of course,” he said, and the smile on his face spread in a way that twisted his face like a vicious grimace. “Where there’s one substitute, there can be another. If you died, your brother would still be in seclusion – there must be someone waiting to take your place. And if that’s the case…tell me, Lan Qiren. Whatever price your sect elders decide to ask from me for you, do you really think my Wen sect can’t pay?”

Lan Qiren’s heart froze in his chest.

Wen Ruohan couldn’t be serious. He couldn’t mean to ask Lan Qiren’s sect to – to, what, sell him for benefits –

“Do you really think,” Wen Ruohan whispered, his voice flowing straight into Lan Qiren’s ear, “that your brother, the great Qingheng-jun, would refuse to ratify such an arrangement…?”

Lan Qiren’s brother had never liked him. And it was true, in fact, that he was only in seclusion, not dead – if necessary, the sect elders could go to him and petition that he override Lan Qiren’s decisions, the real sect leader always outweighing the acting one. That they didn’t, in the usual run of things, was simply the Lan sect respecting his seclusion, not the necessary state of affairs; if they got it in their minds to ask, he was perfectly capable of responding. If Wen Ruohan sweetened his offer enough, they might very well choose to go to him and accept the offer, and never mind what Lan Qiren wanted.

After all, if the sect decided something, it was his duty to accept and obey.

Lan Qiren gritted his teeth.

“You may be able to offer enough to my sect for them to wish to sell me to you, Sect Leader Wen,” Lan Qiren said, and hated that he even had to make the admission, wishing that he could believe even through willful self-deceit that Wen Ruohan’s mad scheme would never work when he knew that it could. “But that is insufficient. Talent itself cannot be forced. Bring me here against my will, and who is to say whether I will consent to teach? I could just as easily cut my own throat – and I would.”

Wen Ruohan stared at him, smile fading, and Lan Qiren glared back, trying to make clear exactly how serious he was being. He liked the Wen boys, in the same way he liked any of his students, prospective or otherwise, who were willing to learn. He liked them enough to try to teach them spontaneously, but that didn’t change what he would do – what he would have to do, because a bluff wouldn’t work on Wen Ruohan. He had to mean what he said, no matter how dire the threat, for it to work.

And it had to work. Back home he had his two nephews, Xichen and little Wangji, and if he were taken away from them, who would they have left to defend them? He Kexin had died, and Lan Wangji had only just barely started talking again after the enormity of that loss – Lan Xichen had taken it better, being older, but he, too, had suffered. If they were to lose Lan Qiren as well…

If his Lan sect sold him to Wen Ruohan, he couldn’t come back from that. He’d have lost all face forever, and the sect would have no need of him in the future, not even once Wen Ruohan tired of playing games with his life; if he slunk back to them after it was all done, it would be as an object of pity and nothing more. And while he was gone, the Lan sect elders left behind would grind his nephews down into the shapes they wanted them to be, leaving them nothing of their own. They would not think to leaven sternness with love, harshness with joy, and they would genuinely think they were doing them a favor in the process…and then the returning Lan Qiren would have to see what had been wrought in his absence.

No – if the choice were between death now and having to live to see something like that happen, helpless to stop it, he would rather use his blood to show the world the Great Sects’ hypocrisy.

“I see,” Wen Ruohan said, seeming to understand that Lan Qiren was sincere. “How interesting.”

For a moment, Lan Qiren thought that it had worked – that Wen Ruohan had been deterred, that he’d drop the matter, that he wouldn’t push them both to the end of no return. Lan Qiren was Lao Nie’s friend, and Wen Ruohan liked Lao Nie, at least most of the time, so surely even if he had no regard for Lan Qiren’s life in its own right, then perhaps for Lao Nie’s sake…?

And then Wen Ruohan’s insane smile returned in full force.

“Let no one say that I am not relentless,” he said, and he sounded actually cheerful, which was a tone Lan Qiren had never heard from him before. “You’re a far more interesting challenge than I thought, Teacher Lan. I see I will need to take particular care to make sure you don’t do anything rash before I settle matters to my satisfaction.”

Before Lan Qiren could even finish comprehending his words, Wen Ruohan’s hands had moved up from Lan Qiren’s lapels to his throat, pressing down and cutting off his air in a single gesture – Lan Qiren frantically tried to summon his qi, his fingers twitching for want of his sword or some musical instrument, his voice already gone, his vision starting to go black –

He felt more than saw the array activate behind his back.

Wen Ruohan was an array master the likes of which had already faded out of the cultivation world, and even among those ancient masters he was said to have been exceptional. Despite this, it was said to have been decades since he had bothered to actually use one himself where another living person could see – most of the time, he only commanded others to do the work for him. It was even rumored that once, when confronted by an entire army, he hadn’t bothered with an array at all, but rather merely used his extraordinary cultivation to twist his fingers and manipulate force itself, using spiritual energy to bend space and light to create a horrible sucking whirlwind that would rip apart all things before him from the inside out.

This array was at least not that.

Lan Qiren felt a pull, yanking him backwards, and then he was falling through the wall, stumbling into an empty room that had no doors or windows or even a single light.

“Just stay put for now, Teacher Lan, and don’t do anything unwise. Don’t your rules say ‘Don’t act impulsively’…?” Wen Ruohan’s voice echoed into the air around him. “I’ll be back to speak with you very soon…”

And then his voice was gone.

Lan Qiren traced a talisman for light into the air and looked around.

No doors or windows, as he’d suspected, but not completely empty: there was a bed, a desk, and the necessary area to relieve himself. There were also a few sets of manacles casually tossed around – some hanging on the wall, some on the bed – and scratches on the wall that upon a second look appeared to be words, presumably the scribblings of the room’s former occupant.

Lan Qiren did not see any way out.

“This,” he said to himself, wishing he hadn't so deeply ingrained his sect's custom against profanity, “is going to be a problem.”

#mdzs #lan qiren #wen ruohan #wen chao #wen xu #my fic #my fics #relentless #Jane Eyre except you kidnap your governness #congrats to prompter for winning the longfic lottery #NOT a Tedious Joy extra #even though it started out that way #instead you get WRH at his most insane (pre Lao Nie's death) and LQR at his most grumpy #warnings for suicide threat and assault #long fic

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bettsfic · 3 years

Note

Hi Betts. I know you have an awful lot on your plate right now, so I understand if you are not able to answer this <3 I remember a while ago you mentioned your process when giving a first reading to a piece someone has asked you to look at. I can't find the original post, but I think you said this mostly involved making observations, rather than suggestions (sorry if I am misremembering!). I wondered if you could talk more about what that looks like? What kind of things would you focus on / how would you phrase your comments? Someone who has admired my writing has asked me to read their (published) fic and give my thoughts. I think they just want someone to "see" them. How would you approach this? xx

basically what you're describing (and like you mentioned, what i try to do for an initial read-through) is what i call a close reading. i turn my editor brain off and my only job is to communicate my experience of reading. i share any observations i have of the syntax and how style is working, i offer any emotional responses i have, any neutral thoughts or compliments, and also questions if they seem relevant.

the reason i prefer descriptive over prescriptive feedback most of the time* is because all a writer really needs to know is what's observed and understood from a mind that's not theirs. it can help with an individual piece but it also helps a writer develop metacognition to be able to have a wider perspective of their own work and begin making creative decisions with more intention.

*there are several situations where i don't necessarily employ descriptive feedback, like when i'm working with a writer from inception of an idea to publication, or if a piece has a specific place/purpose like a writing sample for an mfa application. to a beginning writer, though, descriptive feedback is everything. "i noticed this" is always the strongest tool in your editorial arsenal.

sometimes prescriptive feedback can be appropriate (prescriptive in this case meaning to offer suggestions, corrections, or solutions), mostly when a work is in its very early stages and a writer isn't quite sure what it is yet. and even then, i usually try to ask permission first, because prescriptive feedback is ultimately just a reader imposing their own personal taste onto a work. sometimes, if your taste vibes with the person giving you feedback, it's great. most of the time, it's not.

for your situation, since the piece is already posted, i think you could focus on conveying how you see things are "working" in the fic. here are some baseline questions to ask yourself while reading:

what images are presented, and how are they crafted? what mental pictures stick with you when you're done reading?

what moves are happening linguistically? how are verbs being deployed? what patterns emerge in the sentence structure?

what rhetoric is being used? what "poetic" language is in the piece, and how is it effective?

at what precise moment does the conflict begin? what are the stakes?

what's the ratio of interiority to exteriority? rather, what's the pattern of inner thoughts or narration versus external action or exposition?

how would you describe the narration? how close is the narration to the cognition of the point of view character? what's the first clue you see that we're "in" the mind of a certain character?

how is epiphany operating in the piece? does a character reach a realization or grow in any way, or are we meaningfully denied that growth (a la chekhov)?

what authors or works does this piece remind you of? what work is in conversation with this author's? what reading recommendations would you offer that might help a writer grow, and what exactly can they look for in the recommended works?

tl;dr the key to descriptive feedback is to make neutral observations, assessing the question "how are certain elements working in the piece?" and not "how could this piece be better?"

also, caveat, the entire history of writing hinges on prescriptive feedback. it's so foundational to the editorial mindset that many people don't know there are other methods, or why you would want to use them. but ultimately after editing and teaching creative writing for so many years, i've reached the conclusion that it's impossible to make a piece objectively "better," you can only ever get closer to what the author intended for it, and you can offer insights that guide a writer a little farther along on their journey, so their creative decisions land on the page with more confidence.

close reading can be a pretty difficult skill to develop, especially if you're a naturally critical person like i used to be, but i'm very grateful for it now and how it's allowed me to approach works with an open mind that i otherwise would have dismissed.

i hope this helps! happy reading

#feedback #reading advice #writing advice

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aspoonofsugar · 3 years

Text

Penny’s Final Word

Cinder might have had the final word of the volume and that is a meta for another time. Still, there is another character who got to have another important final word:

Penny: Let me choose this one thing.

Penny’s arc has always been about self-actualization and escaping objectification.

She was created to be a weapon and everything was decided for her by basically... everyone:

Both enemies and loved ones alike ended up choosing for her multiple times, so it is fitting that Penny herself is the one who has the last word about herself. She makes the final choice that decides how her life should end and what her legacy should be.

At the same time, Penny’s final choice and sacrifice perfectly tie together all the major themes explored in the Atlas arc.

This analysis will try to explore her arc and to show how it is central to everything the Atlas volumes wanted to convey.

PENNY AND HER FAIRIES

What makes a person a person and not something else?

This is a key question in Penny’s story and it can’t be answered without addressing who her Blue Fairy is.

Is it Fria?

Or Ambrosius?

The answer is neither and both. These two characters are definately references to the Blue Fairy, but they are not the ones who make Penny feel human. The one who does is ironically a red fairy:

You saw my soul Through the nuts and bolts You're the friend I can trust Helped me see I'm not just a machine

It is Ruby’s aknowledgement of Penny’s personhood that makes Penny feel alive.

So, what about Fria and Ambrosius? What is their role?

Fria chooses Penny as the next Winter Maiden. This is a powerful moment thematically because it is an aknowledgement of Penny’s humanity. She has always been a real girl, a Maiden at Heart, hence she can be given the powers and protect them.

Ambrosius removes Penny’s robotic parts and makes the “real” Penny come to the surface:

Ambrosius: Okay, but if I take the robot parts out of her, that would leave...

Blake: Penny. The girl who's always been there underneath it.

Penny’s new body is human because Penny has always been human and has always wanted to feel human.

In short, these two moments are moments of recognition of Penny’s humanity. She becomes a human both in soul (Fria) and body (Ambrosius). In particular, she has always had a human soul and this is why it can be tied to the power of the Maiden. When it comes to her body, she aquires a human one because her new appearance is nothing, but a mirror of her soul.

Still, even if these two moments are both meaningful, they are also moments where Penny receives something passively. They are aknowledgements of Penny’s humanity yes, but Penny wants more. She wants personhood aka to live as her own person.

To truly become a person one must be able to make their own choices. And interestingly, Penny’s free will is linked to both moments with her two blue fairies.

Ambrosius’s magic does not simply give Penny a human body, but it gives her back her freedom. Not only that, but it makes it impossible hacking her ever again.

Fria’s interaction with Penny is more complicated.

First of all, Fria does not impose the power on Penny, but asks her to make a choice:

Fria: Penny. Are you the one?

Penny: I…

And Penny does so in a sense, but it is gray. Penny is given no time to think about this choice, differently from both Winter and Pyrrha. It is something imposed on her by the events:

Penny: But taking the Maiden power was the only way to stop--

Moreover, it is something she very clearly does not want:

Penny: I was the protector of Mantle, but now, I am much more than that, and I wish I was not.

In short, Penny’s interaction with Fria is a recognition of her humanity, but also a duty imposed on her by external occurrences.

It is not what Penny herself wants. To truly be human, instead, Penny should make her own choices and be given the chance to pursue what she wants.

Still, what does she truly wishes for?

PENNY AND HER JIMINY CRICKETS

Penny’s wish is made obvious since her first appearance:

Penny: "You called me 'friend'! Am I really your friend?"

Ruby: "Uuuum... Y-Yeah, sure! Why not?"

My wish came true That day that you appeared And called me friend

She wants friends to the point that Ruby’s awkward aknowledgement of their friendship is enough to make Penny completely loyal to the other girl.

At the same time, there are many Jimini Crickets that go in the way of Penny’s wish for friendship:

Penny: I've never been to another kingdom before. My father asked me not to venture out too far, but... You have to understand, my father loves me very much; he just worries a lot.

(...)

Penny: I... was asked not to talk to you. Or Weiss. Or Blake. Or Yang. Anybody, really.

Ruby: Was your dad that upset?

Penny: No, it wasn't my father...

Both Ironwood’s high expectations and Pietro’s overprotectiveness make so that she is not free to enjoy her own life as she wants.

She arrives to the point that she comes up with a plan to stay at Beacon with her new friends:

Penny: Ruby, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. I want to stay at Beacon.

Ruby: Penny, they'll never let you do that.

Penny: I know, but I have a plan.

However, we never discover what this plan is:

This does not happen by chance and Penny’s plan is not a dropped plot-point. It is symbolic of how her agency is completely negated. She is objectified to the point that her story is interrupted before she can take any action. It is a meta-way to comment her character and her major struggle.

Penny’s first death is more than a murder. It is a way to refuse Penny’s personhood and agency:

Ruby: And Penny… was killed… just to make a statement.

She is used as a symbol of Atlas’s shady research. Penny’s own self is forgotten in the chaos that follows.

The same thing happens in Atlas as well:

Ruby: I don't think Robyn was their target. Salem's goal has always been to divide us. I think Penny was exactly where they wanted her, just like at the Vytal Festival.

This time she is not framed as a victim, but as a perpetrator and used as the symbol of an authoritarian regime.

Her enemies’ objectification of Penny is made clear in many ways:

Cinder: I have come too far to be stopped by some toy!

Cinder: You’re just a tool to be used!

Salem: Although he remains in captivity, it seems that he has worked with Ironwood to gain some control over the puppet masquerading as the Winter Maiden.

And Watts’s virus is just the culmination of it. It is the embodyment of the Jiminy Cricket trying to overwrite what Penny wants.

At the same time, though, Penny’s enemies are not the only ones who try to control her:

Pietro: I lost you before. Are you asking me to go through that again? No. No. I want the chance to watch you live your life.

Penny: But dad… I am trying to.

Penny’s loved ones have tried to protect her all along. However, this wish of protection ends up going in the way of what she really wants:

I've been combat-ready since The day dad made me Now I'll fight for something more Might sound wholesome, But strangely I've got friends Fighting for

What Penny wants is to fight together and for her friends. She does not want her life to be considered less than others’. Still, she does not even want it to be put before others’:

Cinder: I don’t serve anyone. And you wouldn’t either, if you weren't built that way.

Penny: That is not…I choose to fight for people who care about me.

In short, it is as Maria says:

Maria: Don’t you think Penny has had enough people telling her what to do?

PENNY AND BEING A REAL GIRL

At its root, Penny’s struggle has always been this:

Penny: I feel like I wish I could do both the things I need to do and the things I want to do. Is that normal?

She wants to reconcile her duty and her personal wishes.

It is her duty to accept the power of the Maiden and to protect it.

It is her wish to live with her friends and to protect them.

These two things end up coming into conflict multiple times:

Penny: And after the launch, I’ll return to help you all with the evacuation.

Pietro: About that, Penny. When Amity goes up, I think you should be on it with Maria and I.

Penny: But they need me here. Right?

Ruby: Well, if you stay far out of Salem’s reach, then she can’t open the vault. She can’t get to the relic. So...

Weiss: Maybe it is for the best?

Until the finale where Penny makes a specific choice:

Weiss: Penny, no!

If Penny were to act as the perfect Maiden, she would have just gone to Vacuo with the staff. In this way she could have protected both the relic and the power. Even if Cinder had ended up killing all her friends, Salem would have still lost.

However, Penny decides not to act as a Maiden, but as a friend:

Penny: You wouldn’t know anything about friends.

Even the reason why Cinder manages to mortally wound her is because Penny is worried about Jaune and Weiss and gets distracted for a second:

However, it is specifically in the moment of her death that Penny is able to make a choice to reconcile both who she is and what she has to do.

She chooses to protect the power:

Penny: She can’t get the staff..and the power.

And to save a friend:

Penny: I thought of you. And here we are.

Winter would have died without the Maiden powers and the same can be said about the people stranded in Vacuo. Penny saves all by choosing to be the one in control of her death.

Her choice is extremely powerful thematically and it ties together all the themes explored in these last two volumes.

1) It is a choice about trust:

Penny: Trust me.

Winter: Thank you for trusting me with this.

Penny asks to be trusted and chooses to trust as well. After all, this is what friendship is all about:

Attached but not By strings

It is a choice that uses the motif of “the part of you” in two different ways.

2) Becoming a part of someone else can be seen as a reference to the process of grieving, which is one of the themes explored in this volume:

Grieving means to come to terms with your loss, to accept your feelings for the people who are gone and also their contradictions:

Robyn: Clover was a lot of things. You respected him, but I gotta tell ya, I think you’re the better Huntsman.

Vine: Then perhaps Clover was wrong too.

The lost ones will be missed regardless:

Harriet: Don't you dare! Clover was... He was...

Vine: ...Important to you.

Still, once you manage to finally grieve, you’ll realize the other person has become a part of you:

It does not matter if Qrow’s semblance has evolved, if it is a part of Clover’s power having stayed attached to the pin, both or if it is Clover looking out for them.

What’s important is that Clover will keep on living inside Qrow because Qrow will never forget him or what Clover has taught him:

Clover: You shouldn't do that, you know.

Qrow: Don't worry, I-I gave that up.

Clover: I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You've had more of an effect on them than you realize.

Qrow should love himself. Only in this way he can stop being a self-fulfilling curse. Only in this way he can start looking at his own life with hope and wish for good luck.

Similarly, Penny won’t be forgotten and her legacy will live through Winter:

Penny: She's… gone.

Winter: No. She's a part of you now.

Penny: I won’t be gone, I’ll be part of you.

3) Penny becomes a part of Winter because Winter is finally able to do this:

Winter: But yes Penny, we must still acknowledge our personal feelings, wrestle with them. It ensures us that we're on the right path. It's what makes us human.

Winter is the one who taught Penny this, but it is obvious that through volume 7 and 8 she has avoided to face her feelings for both her family and Ironwood. By the end of volume 8, however, she is finally able to accept her emotions. She can finally follow her heart. Penny becoming “a part of her” is symbolic of this. As a matter of fact their dynamic has always been about Winter acting as “the mind” and Penny being “the heart”.

Symbolically they integrate because they both are becoming their own person even if in different ways.

Winter becomes her own person because she rejects this mentality:

Winter: Penny. The general is making hard choices so we don't have to.

Penny becomes her own person because she is finally in control of herself and her destiny. Moreover, she is able to do for Winter what Ruby has done for her:

Winter: No, Penny, you were always the real Maiden at heart. I was just a machine. Just… following orders.

Penny: You’re my friend.

She affirms Winter’s personhood and in this way she affirms her own as well.

In other words, this version of Pinocchio does not end with the protagonist being transformed into a real boy by the Blue Fairy, but with Penny transforming Winter in the Blue Fairy:

So “becoming fully human” in RWBY means to do this:

Qrow: This last great creation would be given the power to both create and destroy. It would be given the gift of knowledge, so that it could learn about itself and the world around it. And most importantly, it would be given the power to choose, to have free will to take everything it had learned and decide which path to follow - the path of light or the path of darkness. And that is how Humanity came to be.

It is about gaining knowledge, like Penny does about feelings and relationships, loving life and accepting death. Finally, it is about making a choice, even if it is painful.

This is because being human is not always simple. It can be hard:

But I found that humanity It came with sacrifice

Having a human soul means you have a duty to do the right thing out of your own free will, like Fria’s gift showed.

Having a human body means you can experience the warmth of a hug:

But it also means you can be mortally wounded:

This is Ambrosius’s teaching.

Still, it was worth it all for Penny because she got the chance to meet friends and to feel alive:

An answered prayer A chance to Share the world To be a girl Who fin'lly felt alive

This is why her second death can be juxtaposed to her first one. Both times she was killed by Cinder. However, the first time she was used as a pawn in Cinder’s plan. This time instead she is not letting herself be controlled and she negates Cinder what she really wants out of her own free will.

In conclusion, there is this phrase by Jean-Paul Sartre:

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

And I think it sums up Penny’s story perfectly.

Penny does not choose to be born a robot or to be used as a weapon. She is objectified in multiple ways...

Still, she manages to make something amazing out of herself.

#rwby #rwby vol8 #penny polendina #rwby meta #rwby spoilers #my meta #qrow branwen #even if only a little

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ganymedesclock · 3 years

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[enters the cat door.] Pale King? :)

PK is great because while we get a lot of impressions of what he's capable of, overwhelmingly his work is left for us, self-evident and finished, in such a state that we are not given hints on how he did it or what he did. This obviously has a lot of canon significance to who he is as a person-

(especially when the nature of much of that work is itself somewhat inscrutable; how exactly does he record his voice in whispering stones that only speak to certain parties when the rest of the setting is limited to actually writing things down?)

-but basically what it amounts to is that it's headcanons all the way down, baybey.

PK is... obsessed. This, to me, is the thing that stands out to me at an immediate glance of anything he was capable of. He fashions himself as a rational arbiter; possibly even a thing emotionless, unbiased, but really, it's obvious that certain ideas drove him so powerfully that anything, including unimaginable agonies and cruelties- barely factor. His mind as we explore it has very few guards that try to drive us out and kill us, few true barriers that stop us from moving forwards- but an enormous, vicious, whirling mechanism, beautiful and terrible, that polices every inch we move. You can proceed, the white palace says, if you're perfect. If your timing is perfect, if you never dare the metal teeth that surround you, if you choose exactly the right things and move only as the space is designed to move- and if you are willing to suffer, truly and awfully, then you can proceed, the palace is yours, it is open and the barest adversity will stop you.

This is not the mind of a person who lets things go easily. This is not the mind of a person who is actually detached. This is a beautiful machine, elaborate, precisely calibrated, and it makes miracles.

And it is, quite frankly, an absolute inhospitable nightmare. It might as well be the surface of the moon, not for alienness, but for the sheer ludicrous notion that anyone could live or love there. His mind is a haunted house to end all haunted houses; it'd be a fine locale to find in Silent Hill. The few rooms that actually seem like recollections of real places- the nursery, the workshop, the throne room- are all unsettling in different ways.

The nursery is the loveliest and also the most unattainable; a place for two people who are never coming back to the person who left them behind in the first place and didn't even set a chair for himself- the workshop is cluttered, creepy and miserable, nowhere you'd expect a god to make miracles; the throne room is bleak and dark, and has pillars set like fangs and the only chair so hard and uncomfortable it won't save your progress or give your player character a second of rest.

There is only one mention, anywhere in the game, of coldness associated with anything even adjacent to PK- the description of the pale ore characterizes it as "emanating an icy chill"- and when I remind myself of this, actually go looking for it, it shocks me. PK, to me, is so powerfully and intensely an ice person. Not just in the superficial senses- oh, he's cold, oh, he's callous, oh, he suppresses his emotions and opposes the fiery, sun-aligned Radiance; but that while neither of these gods have any ability to "get over it" whatsoever, the way they hold onto things is drastically polar opposite.

Radiance boils. Simmers. Screams and writhes and rages and pulses to her emotions. Those infected by her plague begin to feel as if they are burning alive the more her influence extends. She is a heat that stokes itself higher and higher and higher, to frenzy and fury, and the coldest it can get is if she methodically banks herself down to coals to pretend for a single utilitarian moment she's not as angry as she is, so she can whisper sweet words just long enough to coax someone onto the cinders.

PK... freezes over. He holds onto things perfectly, as if they never left, as if they never changed. When you walk over the nursery memory it looks just like White Lady could come by and put an infant Hollow in the cradle and sit down to rock them to sleep. It's so clean. So expectant. So empty.

And yet, there's something completely inhospitable to life about it. How could anyone live here? How could anyone be happy here? The game Silent Hill: Shattered Memories has a theme of a happy childhood frozen over in invading ice; that's very much what comes to mind here, even if Hollow's childhood was troubled long before they'd have anything to do with this room. PK ices over, is a person who stopped his own heart at one point just to serve another purpose and, superficially indifferently, left that body behind to rot without any sort of respect or acknowledgement. @rukafais drew a headcanon a very long time ago to the idea that PK could just will his own blood to stop flowing, and that's long one I've stuck with- a living person who is at odds with himself because of this absolute glacial inhospitality.

PK is also... clever. Inventive. One could almost argue too clever for his own good. If there's one way his obsessions are utterly unaffected by this ice and sense of detachment, it's that while Radiance is revolted by, fears and hates the void, PK... was fascinated by it. It's probably the most dangerous non-Radiance thing in the kingdom to him and yet he built his palace right next to the abyss; built a great lighthouse and a smaller alcove room that- unlike the spaces in his own mind- you can actually imagine him sitting, maybe for hours, maybe for days- just staring at the void sea. Dropping things into its grasp only to fetch them back out. Pouring it into shapes, and seeing how it held.

This also seems to convey itself in the shapes that his magic takes, or that similar pale white magic in other places (such as around the dreamers' monument) form; they are extremely intricate. Impossible filigrees of light that dangle in the air. Nowhere is this more obvious than the Pure Vessel fight, the moment where Hollow is remembering what they once were- at the point they were trying to be everything PK wanted of them, everything PK cares about. Hollow's attacks in that fight are beautiful. Ornate. The temporary spikes summoned from the ground have the same woven, 'watered' pattern that we see on the Pure Nail once Ghost acquires it.

So these ideas, of PK- icy stillness, obsessive detail, and insatiable curiosity- condensed for me a lot into how I imagine him fighting or handling situations. I imagine him as fighting with a spear very keenly- not just long reach, but that I associate PK very strongly in my mind with the concept of dissection and vivisection. Everything in its place, labeled, named, and known, consecrated by the light with identity and purpose- the hungry, predatory curiosity of a hunter picking apart prey, but with enough academic backing that they're looking for something more than the juiciest pieces to eat.

So, I imagine PK fighting with spears, and impaling or cutting implements... in that I imagine him fighting like a surgeon, pinning and mounting something or herding it into place.

#Hollow Knight #the Pale King #readmore #haha imagine a lance sentry but with a boss fight's health pool and a complex attack pattern

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tsunderecookies · 3 years

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Horny HC

Pairing: Bakugo x Reader, Midoriya x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Shinso x Reader, Hawks x Reader

Warnings: nsfw subjects, choking, spanking, spitting, hair pulling, language as vulgar as my mind, degrading, daddy kink.

A/N: Count on me to make my first ever post spicy. All characters mentioned in this are aged up to 21+. I hope y'all enjoy reading this. (Also i made these headers myself - not the chibis - so sorry if they shit, I tried :)))

Requests are open. Please send lol, imma run out of ideas.

So for my first set of hc I took the 5 heroes I had the most ideas for but I’ll definitely do hc’s for the rest as well. Also i love the villians so lmk if you guys want me to do a part 2 of this for them or any of the other heroes!

This man

This.Man.

He's gonna blow your back out. No cap.

I mean you see the way he treats his friends, you can't tell me he won't be daddy in bed.

Speaking of Daddy. Authority kink. It's either Sir, Daddy or Master. Katsuki has left the chat.

Bakugou is in charge, and you sure as fuck better know it. If not, he won't hesitate to remind you, teaching you a lesson you won't forget anytime soon.

100% brat tamer.

Bakugou loves putting you back in your place when you step out of line. He lives for the sound of your pleas and apologies as he reminds you of where you belong; on your knees right in front of him. ( that sounded so sexist pls don't come for me )

Punishments come in the form of spanking and edging for hours on end. He's not scared to manhandle you.

You gasp at the harsh feeling of your back slamming against the wall, the feeling of Bakugous hand slipping around your throat sending a wave of arousal straight to your core.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"I said make me.... Daddy." A cheeky smile makes it onto your face as you repeat your words, but just as fast as it appeared it vanishes at the feeling of his hand tightening around your throat.

" Oh princess, you never learn do you?"

His favorite positions includes him hitting it from the back - he loves how he can just push your head into the mattress or lean his chest against your back to whisper dirty things in your ear. Not to mention the fact that he can grab your hair and pull your back flush against his chest as he tilts your head back so you can look at him while he rails you- and missionary with both your legs over his shoulders. He loves seeing the facial expressions you make while he presses his hand down onto your throat, his cock hitting places inside you you didn't know existed.

Definitely not afraid of quickies. He loves the adventure and danger that comes with the possibility of anyone being able to walk in on you at any possible moment.

Dirty talk: on fucking point.

" You like that baby? Yeah? You like it when daddy fucks you hard like this hmm? Tell me how much you love this. Tell me how much you like daddy pounding into you like this."

You know that kinda whiney type dirty talk tone? Like where their words are kinda dragged out and kinda high pitched? Yes. Yes.

Absolutely fucking loves when you can't speak. He loves how your words can barely slip out in between your moans and gasps, how absolutely dumb you are for his cock.

100% degrader.

Change my mind. You can't.

"That's right baby, yes - fuck. Take that cock. Take that fat cock like the slut you are."

"You like that you whore? You like it when daddy tells you how slutty you look all needy for his cock?"

This man is not afraid to mark you up. Good luck covering up those hickeys the next morning because its impossible. He wants everyone to know you belong to him, and you can bet your pretty ass that he has a shit eating grin on his face when someone notices them.

You can bet he has a shit eating grin on his face later when you try to confront him about it. He’ll also have some smart ass remark.

I can definitely see Bakugo having angry post argument sex. By the time he tosses you onto bed and crawls onto you the cause of the argument is long forgotten, the only thing going through his mind being how he's going to fuck the attitude out of you.

Absolutely loves it if you're loud. He wants everyone to know he's the one making you feel that good and that he's the only one who could make you scream like that.

" That's right princess, let the whole fucking city know who's making you feel this good!"

Definitely gonna have a ton of noise complaints, especially from your roommates if you have any. ( idk why but i picture katsuki sharing an apartment w kiri, sero and denki )

Bakugo isn't really a moan typpa guy, but god he will draw out the sexiest and unholiest groans and growls from the back of his throat.

I also feel like he's the type of guy that guides you through giving him head, telling you exactly how to suck his cock before he just grabs a fist full of your hair and ends up fucking your face.

We all know Bakugou is an overachiever, and this reflects during sex. He wants to make you cum as many times as possible using his tongue and fingers before he sticks his dick in you.

He isn't as romantic as Shoto with aftercare but he definitely takes care of you. He makes sure to go pee as well as make you go before turning on the shower for you both, adjusting the temperature to your liking.

He loves washing your hair for you in hopes that you'd do the same for him. He secretly loves the feeling of your fingertips massaging his scalp but would never admit it.

He's not super lovey dovey after, but he makes sure to let you know that you're appreciated.

"Love you, dumbass."

"Love you too, Katsuki."

All in all, you're in for a good dicking down.

I feel like this boy pours so much passion into it.

Especially with his history with his parents. The lack of love during his childhood definitely shows during moments like these.

With him it's always making love, its never just fucking. Sex to him isn't just an activity to get off or procreate ( cough Endeavour cough) its a show of both your love for each other, a moment for your bodies to become one.

Your pleasure definitely comes first to him. He would want to get you off at least a couple of times before even thinking of himself.

Shoto also struggles with expressing his emotions so this is a way for him to show you how he feels physically rather that having to convey it verbally.

He's all about the physical contact.

He definitely holds your hands during and whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

His favourite position is missionary. He loves the closeness, how he can look into your eyes and feel your shaky breathing while he moves inside you.

It's either that or you on top with him sitting upright with your bodies pressed together. He loves how close he can hold you. His one hand intertwining with your hair as he presses your head closer to his, the other around your back, occasionally moving down to you hip to help you grind down onto him.

Loves the feeling of your chest against his as he slowly moves between your hips, head resting against your shoulder as his hot breath fans over your skin.

He presses a chaste kiss to your lips before resting his forehead against yours.

"I love you so much angel, you're so beautiful like this."

He's also the type to light candles and have rose petals everywhere on special occasions.

But just because he makes love to you, doesn't mean he can't rearrange your insides while doing so.

Just hot, sweaty, nasty, rough sex.

But with love <3

Even during the rougher moments he makes sure to show you how much he loves you and how much you mean to him.

He'd have his hand all tangled in your hair, some of the unholiest noises leaving his throat as he takes you from behind. His eyes not leaving yours in the mirror placed in front of you.

"Fuck. You feel so good baby - just like that, yeah - look at me princess."

He's very observant. He takes note of the things the drive you crazy so he can work your body even better next time.

Because sex is something more intimate for him I don't think he'd be into sex in public/semi public areas.

He doesn't want anyone else to see the gorgeous expressions on your face while you're at your most vulnerable, or the heavenly sounds that leave your soft lips for him.

I wouldn't go as far as to say he's possessive, but this is definitely something he views as for his eyes only.

He’s not a very big fan of quickies for the simple fact that he likes to take his time with your body and give you as much pleasure as possible rather than just get you both off. He’d much rather prefer waiting for you both to get home and properly take care of you.

Shoto isn't really vocal in bed, but his pleasure will still be conveyed through his shaky intake off breath and the ways his face scrunches up when you clench around him.

He definitely marks you.

Loves marking you as his on your most delicate and intimate parts, painting your chest and inner thighs as his.

He loves trailing his hand over them, rubbing soft circles on the hickeys with his thumb. To him this is proof of the beautiful moment you guys spent together.

The most passionate sex that you both have would definitely be when shoto comes back from a long business trip, his hand could never compare to your body. He definitely plans on making up for lost time, keeping you in his sheets for as long as possible.

And can i just say

The aftercare

Top tier.

He definitely runs you both a hot bath afterwards.

Candles, bubble bath and your favourite bath bomb. The works.

Definitely wants to carry you but won't do so if you feel uncomfortable about it.

He slips in behind you so you're sat between his thighs, his one hand interlacing with yours while the other softly caresses your stomach.

Sets up a little cuddle corner next to the fireplace so you guys can enjoy a movie before falling asleep in each others arms.

Sweet baby boi.

One word: shy.

Izuku knows what sex is and what happens during this intimate act. He’s also watched porn a couple of times so he knows the basics behind it.

But that doesn’t stop him from shape shifting into a fucking tomato every time you start undressing in front of him.

When you both first started becoming intimate you definitely had to make all the first moves and initiate it all because he was too shy and nervous to do it himself.

Even if he was horny as can be and needed you more than anything he’d rather suffer in silence than tell you or ask you to help him out.

He’s definitely not afraid to ask you how to work your body right. Deku knows that not everyone's bodies work the same and that what might have felt good for someone else won’t exactly work for you. So he asks. He asks you how to work your body right and he’ll keep this in mind for future reference.

He marks you but not as much as the others. He’ll litter them on more intimate places both because he doesn’t want to embarrass or inconvenience you and because he’s the only other one he wants to be able to see em. He’ll also get really blushy when he spots them.

This man 100% has a praise kink. He loves knowing how good he’s making you feel and won’t hesitate to let you know as well.

No matter how many times you’ve been intimate before he’ll always tell you how beautiful you look, how much he loves you and how much he can’t wait to make you feel good.

As time goes by and you give him more praise he’ll become more confident intimately.

I can’t really see Izuku having any hard kinks for the simple fact that he doesn’t like the idea of hurting you in any way, especially intentionally.

Like if you were to ask him to choke you or something he’d do it beacause he wants to please you but it would still be the softest shit you have ever experienced. Like for example he’d have his hand around your throat but he wouldn't add any pressure and his hand would barely graze your ass when he attempts to spank you.

He would be down for quickies but he’d be a nervous wreck about em. He’d constantly worry about getting caught and won’t shut up so you’ll just have to make him ;)

“Zuku don’t worry we’ll be fine.“ Your lips mesh together as you pull him closer by his shirt, tugging at the hem to signal you want it off before moving down towards his belt.

“ But y/n - chan I just don’t want us to get caught...” A whine leaves his throat as you start palming him through his jeans before quickly pulling them along with his briefs down to his knees.

“You need to relax more baby.” You press a kiss next to his ear before sinking down to your knees. “In fact I know just how to help you do that.”

Before he could even think of a response his hand flew up to cover out the loud moan threatening to slip out of his ajar mouth as his head fell back.

He’s definitely loud during sex.

Without a doubt.

He lets out these whiny little moans and he definitely tries to hide em. They wouldn’t be especially high pitched but they’d still be higher than usual. Can definitely see him as the type to cover them up with his hand but when you let him know how much you love them he’ll blush a little but let em all out.

You’ve seen how attentive this man is right? How he takes every little piece of info he gets into account when he fills out his journal and comes up with plans?

Yeah your body has its own journal.

Joke lol, but Deku is very attentive and takes note of every reaction he gets out of your body with his touch. How your back arches when his fingers hit that spot inside of you. How your moans get louder when he angles his hips in a certain way. How goosebumps appear when he litters kisses down your neck.

Aftercare with him is the cutest thing ever.

Blushy boi again.

He holds you close to his naked body and pushes his head into the crook of your neck to hide his blush. He’ll thank you for not only sharing moments like these with him but also allowing him to be apart of your life.

Now and then you guys take a hot bath together afterwards but most of the time you fall asleep in each others arms, an occasional kiss being placed on your forehead with a word of comfort.

This man will just love on you so hard.

The first thing that pops into my head when I think Shinso and sex is kitten.

He definitely calls you kitten in bed and he is daddy. period.

Like this man is rough. Without a doubt.

He’s the type that’s really fun to tease because you know he’ll punish you later. Especially if you do it while he’s at work.

A gasp leaves your lips when you feel a familiar pair of arms circle your waist, his warm body pinning you against the railing of the balcony.

"Surprised kitten? I thought you would've expected this, sending me those lewd photos while im at work. "

His hands move to grab onto your waist and push you further into the railing, yours grabbing onto it in turn.

His chest vibrates against your back as he chuckles, you can practically feel the smirk on his face.

"Yeah, you better fucking hold on to something."

I also feel like his pull out game is the best. He mostly enjoys cumming on either your chest or your lower back and face on special occasions.

He loves taking you from behind or on your side while lifting your one leg. He also loves sitting on the edge of the bed with you on top of him with your back facing him while he guides your hips up and down.

He loves these positions because it gives him the perfect angle to please and tease. He can easily reach around and play with your nipples but he can also tease you by just stilling inside of you when you least expect it.

It also gives him better access to the most sensitive parts of your neck so he can mark you up.

I feel like Shinso has a very high sex drive. Like i feel like he's down to go whenever wherever, which is why i think quickies with him is almost a daily occurrence. He loves the risk behind it and he definitely knows how finish you off within 5 minutes.

He absolutely loves it when you're a brat so use this to your advantage because it will get you r a i l e d.

A loud groan escapes the back of Shinso's throat, his hand tangled in your hair while he rams into you from behind.

"Is this what you wanted baby? Huh? Me fucking the brat out of you?"

He is an absolute king with his hands and he knows it. He knows how to get you absolutely spent with just 2 fingers.

Definitely jealous as fuck but he doesn't do anything about it until you're alone. He'll act normal up until you get home before pinning you against the wall and reminding you that he's the only man you should be giving attention to.

And oh my god this man can go all night long. He’ll pound you into the mattress until HE thinks you’ve had enough, sweat gleaming on both your bodies in the moonlight as he finally pulls out and pulls you close to him.

He’s definitely very adventurous. He’s not afraid to experiment at all.

I also feel like when he cums he cums A LOT. Like one of his favourite things ever would be you on you knees in front of him, his cock buried deep down your throat as you struggle to swallow everything he's giving you.

Sleepy sex is basically a morning ritual, his hips already rutting against your ass before you've even properly woken up. He loves the laziness of the whole ordeal as well as the closeness. Before you he'd just rub one out before falling back asleep, but now that you're here he can just indulge in you and then fall back asleep. Not that you mind.

Shinso doesn't leave hickeys intentionally. He just gets into it and does it without noticing it. Thinks it's hilarious as fuck when you struggle to hide them and definitely makes a comment about you knowing you enjoyed it so why complain now.

Definitely the type to wake you up and ask you to ride him at ungodly hours.

Member of the suck me off while I'm gaming club.

A little bonus: I can just see both of you going at it and he’s doing you good and then all of a sudden he just stops. Naturally you just assume he’s just trying to be a tease so you buck your hips up in attempt to get him to move inside of you and let out a whiny moan. Shinso would just kinda calmly look at you and go “ Baby... she’s on top of me.” and you’d be like huh???? tf he talking about, and just look up and see the cat you adopted together peeking at you over his shoulder. She lets out the cutest little meow and you both start giggling, taking a mental note to close the bedroom door before you get down in future.

After sex he’d take care of you. He’d clean you up and cuddle you really close. He’d run his fingers through your hair and massage your scalp for you. Will wake you up with breakfast in bed the next morning and a cup of coffee/tea.

Hawks has a god complex in bed and you can't convince me otherwise.

He's the absolute king of oral. He isn't just gluttonous for food if you catch my drift. He knows how to use his tongue, and the way he uses it on your sex is enough to make you see stars.

"Oh god. Fuck, i-i need- oh my god. Keigo, I need mhmmnnmm" your hand runs through his golden locks as you press him closer to your core, hips bucking and thighs threatening to close around his head.

Keigos head peaks up from between your legs, his mouth glistening with your arousal as his hand picks up where his tongue left off. A cocky smile sneaks it's way on his face.

"That's right baby, tell god what you need."

Hawks loves taking you in missionary. Why you may ask. Because this gives you perfect access to his wings. Nothing gets him more riled up than the feeling of your fingers dancing over the base of his wings where they meet his skin. The feeling's enough to draw a growl from within his chest, his hips immediately picking up momentum as he pounds you deeper into the bed.

Just like Katsuki, Keigo isn't afraid to mahandle you.

He loves the sight of your fucked out face as he wraps his hand around you throat, incoherent mumbles the only thing leaving your swollen lips.

He fucks you stupid, tongue lolling out of your mouth and eyes rolling back into your head. The sight of this turns him on ten times more than he already was in the first place.

Keigo will also use his feathers on you 100%.

A small gasp leaves your lips at the feeling of something soft stimulating your sex. You lower your eyes, undeniably turned on by the sight of one of Keigos feathers matching the momentum of his thrusts as his hips slam into yours.

Your eyes travel back up to your lovers face, unable to hold back the moan that escapes your lips as he winks at you with a smirk and picks up his pace.

Undeniably into praise. He absolutely loves when you tell him how good he's making you feel and how he's the only one who possibly could make you feel this way. Definitely gets cocky about it.

Along with his love for praise he also has a love for degrading. He loves the way you instantly start moaning louder and tightening up when he starts calling you his little slut and cocksleeve, it's enough to make his dick twitch.

Definitely possessive and protective as hell over you. Being Keigos sidekick meant a lot of work related arguments about recklessness from both sides. These arguments often times lead to hate sex.

A harsh tug on your arm stops you dead in your tracks as you turn around to come face to face with your fiancee, the scowl on his face giving away exactly what he was feeling before he could even get a chance to open his mouth.

"What the fuck was that." His breath was hot as it fanned over your face, the smell of mint unmissable. "That, Keigo, was me doing my fucking job." "No y/n, that was you being careless! What the fuck were you thinking risking your life like that?!" " Last time i checked that was our job description! We're supposed to be risking our lives to save innocent people, or does that suddenly mean nothing to you anymore?" "I don't fucking care about them I care about you! I have half a mind to remove you from field work thanks to that little stunt!" " For fucks sake Keigo! What are you gonna do?! Tie me to a fucking desk?!"

Within two seconds your back was pressed against a wall, your fiancees hands slamming down next to your head as he moves his face dangerously close to yours.

" Tread lightly princess, or i just might."

Adding to the possessiveness, i feel like Keigo will be one jealous son of a bitch with no shame at all.

Like he'd take you out for dinner at some fancy restaurant to treat you, only to have your waiter start flirting with you. Keigos blood would start boiling, his jaw set as he'd glare at the man flirting with his mate.

As soon as the waiter leaves he'd make some snarky, passive aggressive comments about the scenario before dragging you into the bathroom mumbling " If he can't see who you belong to I guess I'll have to show him"

He'd then proceed to shamelessly pound the fuck out of you in the restaurant making sure everyone, especially that waiter, could hear every single sound the left your lips. He'd leave so many hickeys on your neck. He needs to mark what's his.

"You're mine. You understand me? You belong to me baby, you're all mine." His hand roughly grabs your face making you look him in the eyes. "Say it." He gets impatient, lifting his hand to lightly slap your face, the action drawing a moan from your lips. " I said fucking say it."

Total exhibitionist. You have definitely been pinned against the large windows in your apartment or even his agency, on full display to anyone walking by as he fucks you nice and hard.

I feel like aftercare with Keigo would be little things that don't necessarily classify as aftercare but comforts you both.

After pulling out of you Keigo would lay down next to you, his hands wrapping around your body to pull you closer as his heart hammers in his chest and he waits for his breathing to calm down a tad.

He'd then get up, tug on a pair of boxers and grab the box of cigarettes and lighter on his bedside table before heading out to the balcony.

You'd slip out of bed, putting on his shirt before joining him outside. Your arms would be wrapped around his waist while he smoked, both of you enjoying the slight late night breeze and the sound of the bustling city before heading inside to snuggle up and fall asleep together.

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grownups-are-the-real-monsters · 2 years

Note

Dennis/Arnie + 18

Send me a Stephen King ship + a number & I will shuffle my music that many times and write you a little one-shot!!! (I will start working on them tomorrow!)

Arnie/Dennis + Song #18 which was 'Cruisin' by Smokey Robinson!

The memory which had occurred to him was from the Summer before Arnie had been killed—‘Murdered.’ That felt like the more appropriate word for it. Although, Dennis Guilder was trying exceptionally hard not to think about those bad times anymore. He only wanted the good memories. Sure, it was damn impossible to control his own subconscious but he still made the effort.

So over a sad little bowl of plain Cheerios on a sucky Sunday morning, Dennis forced his inner voice to try an impression of Arnie. Only…he could not rebuild the sound of Arnie’s voice anymore. That lone fact made him want to throw his disgustingly filmy mug at the wall—‘maybe just to drench the wallpapered fruit in a coffee sauce’. He just scowled because even now, many years gone by, the vibration of Christine’s motor was still clear as fucking day.

‘No matter.’ Dennis thought, shoveling another bite of cereal into his mouth, he’d let the memory rush over him anyway.

_____________________________________________________________

A late night drive on a desolate series of roads where they might feel the closest thing to freedom, that’s what Dennis wanted from the evening. And hell if it wasn’t the perfect way to end the day they’d had. “Arnie?” He asked, one hand on the wheel as the moon’s pale face stared down through his windshield. His best friend had not spoken in the last ten minutes which would be concerning if not for the deafening slurps.

The other boy paused, allowing the last desperate hunks of slush to dribble back down the straw. “What?” His mouth was purple. “I’ve still got at least five minutes left out of this slushie, Dennis.”

The white light seemed to bleed through the glass and soak into Arnie’s neon cup, he watched this with mild interest. “How am I supposed to enjoy the drive if I have to listen to you suck up your own spit every few seconds, huh?” Dennis rolled his eyes and gently thumped on his right blinker. Coming up on the Walgreen’s that had once been a Crimson’s Gas Station, he felt the insane urge to keep his eyes on his best friend. Arnie was fumbling around in his seat, that much was obvious from Dennis’s peripheral view of movement and the sound of his jeans rustling.

“Dude, I think the seatbelt is acting up again.” Arnie mumbled as he attempted to pull the damn thing into a comfortable yet safe position. Only, he was basically plastered to the back of the seat from the severe tightening at that point. He unclipped the fucking thing and watched the sling get sucked back into the wall. “Shitty thing” A chuckle escaped him as he began to pull it back over him.

“Let me—” He didn’t feel the need to finish. Instead, Dennis just reached over with his free right hand and met Arnie’s halfway to take over pulling the belt for him.

“I feel like a six year old.” Arnie giggled, leaning back to make Dennis do all the work for him.

“Yeah well, you have been acting like one.” Dennis quipped & instantly felt guilty, finally yanking the belt with enough force to click it back into its place. He glanced over at Arnie but his friend didn’t seem to be all that into conversation anymore. In fact, the boy was simply smirking to himself. Not in the unbothered way but in the ‘I’m embarrassed but want to pretend I'm cool with it.’ sort of way. “Sorry.” He mumbled pathetically as he guided the car into a Burger King parking lot.

“It’s cool.” Arnie shrugged, giving him that sad smile which conveyed the hard devotion he had to their friendship. It sent fever-inducing chills through Dennis’s body every time he saw it. ‘Nobody else in the world knows how bad they got it without Arnie Cunningham in their life.’ Dennis returned the smile.

Things stayed quiet for a few minutes but finally Dennis had to break it when they rolled up to the menu and the rusty speaker gurgled at them. “Yeah, can I get two orders of—” He froze mid sentence as Arnie unclasped his seatbelt again and slid right into the side of Dennis’s body. He was only trying to get a better look at the menu but when he stretched half his body over Dennis, well….things got a little heavy.

Arnie finished up the order for them and plopped back onto the seat, not instantly moving back to his own spot. Instead, he stayed relatively close to his best friend.

"I'm only buying you a cheeseburger, Arnie." He laughed, playfully shoving him.

"Maybe I just really like cheeseburgers." A strange wink passed between them. Dennis had never heard that sweet timber in his friend's voice however... he enjoyed it immensely. The way it traveled through the air and sent vibrations deep into the cave of his lower stomach.

*Honk*

Dennis nearly bonked against the roof in his shock, barely hearing Arnie's laughter—it was just a tiny chirp in his ear. "Pull up." Arnie slapped his leg. "I want my food."

"Patience is a virtue, or whatever, you little bitch." Dennis finally unfroze his brain, pulling up to the window and paying.

Arnie burst into a joyous laughing fit.

: : : : : :

The next ten minutes of their drive was peacefully calm, being behind the wheel with Arnie in his passenger seat ignited one of Dennis’s favorite emotions—pure serenity. The radio was crackling out some lyrics and unbeknownst to each boy, both were inching closer and closer. The storm of liberation would only last until the end of their drive but for now….it felt recklessly unlimited. Out on the town with the night at their mercy—

Arnie’s burp woke Dennis from his brief break from reality and he had to laugh. “I love you, man.” The words slipped from his lips like he’d said them hundreds of times. And sure, it wasn’t like they never expressed the sentiment…but in this context, it felt heavy.

Arnie kicked the passenger door, pushing his body all the way over so that he could lean his back on Dennis’s side. “I love you too, Bitch.”

_____________________________________________________________

The memory faded away and Dennis Guilder felt a little bit closer to the best friend he’d lost years ago.

#i hope you enjoy #christine #my fanfiction #dennis guilder #arnie cunningham #send asks!!!#music again #music #stephen king #textpost #dennis/arnie #christine by stephen king #christine (1983)

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strayinvelvet · 3 years

Text

[what a fool in love]

Jisung thinks you couldn’t get any cuter when you have your cheeks all pink because of your tiny crush on him

pairing: han jisung x reader

genre: fluff, high school au, jisung is babo but cute

wc: 1.5k (this was supposed to be around 500 only but got carried away)

warning: swear words, improper capitalization because i wrote this in tumblr drafts but just hit up my ask if this annoys you!

a/n: finally posting something after bouncing so many times! hopefully i can post consistently :(

Jisung thinks you couldn’t get any cuter when you have your cheeks flushed, especially when it’s because of him.

he has been observing you for months now and he notices. he notices how you would always stutter when you talk to him. you never do that when you talk to hyunjin or seungmin. he notices how your cheeks would turn a bright shade of pink when he calls you first. sometimes it would even reach your nose.

it’s not like he has been watching you. there was just this one time when he felt like eyes are on him. the bugging feeling was present for most of the day 'til he looked around and there you were, staring right at him. now jisung isn’t really one to boast, but he knows he’s one of the “handsome princes” of the school. he is not oblivious to the number of girls and boys that have a puppy to huge crush on him, thanks to the letters and free lunches he receives every once in a while.

so from then on, he knows. you’ve been showing signs of your secret crush towards him and he finds it absolutely adorable. the silent yet friendly fella of the class who never finds a struggle in having a conversation with someone despite being a stranger to her, except with him. he wouldn’t say he doesn’t enjoy watching it.

During lunch last time, when your friends abandoned you to go do their unfinished homework, you asked him, with the most shy and the most adorable look, if you can sit with him in his table. of course, the gentleman that he is, he let you sit. how could he let you possibly spend the whole lunch time looking for a seat? he swear he was only doing you a favor. well, he wouldn’t deny finding you stealing a few short glances at him amusing.

there was also this time when your biology teacher assigned the two of you to be “homework buddies.” it must have taken you a lot of courage to start the conversation. he would’ve pinched your cheeks that time if it weren’t for his self control: hey han jisung, she still hasn’t confessed to you. don’t make her uncomfortable. ah! and what was that you asked him? if he understand how the heart works? and then you went to full on nerd mode in explaining to him how it pumps blood and all the science-y stuff. how its beats depend on different factors, including external ones such as thoughts and feelings towards others. he’s pretty sure you were trying to convey something to him. dropping hints, i see. ahh, if only he could physically coo at you.

now the reason why he enjoys your actions the most is your subtleness. he can tell that you have no plans to tell him how you feel, save for your natural reaction when you see him, unlike the others who basically throw themselves at him. he can see your efforts to not make the two of you uncomfortable. and all it told him was how considerate you are. you’ve probably noticed how the confessions annoy him sometimes, especially when it was given to him at a bad timing. like the person just wanted to let it out with no regards if he’s in the mood to hear it or not. but you, you have always checked on him silently before doing something. not until today.

your classmates have gone to their respective homes. he just finished practicing with the dance club and was just on his way to the school gates when you called his name hastily. you stopped speed-walking in front of him and took a deep breath as if you just ran out of air. you were holding a folded piece of paper in your hand- wait. piece of paper? is that a letter? a love letter?! oh no...

“hey jisung. i have something to say. actually it’s-”

“no! wait!” he hastily said to stop you.

startled, you looked at him with a puzzled look, “hm..?”

no, you weren’t supposed to confess today. where did you get the sudden courage? is it from hyunjin? that man always encourage people to confess just to piss him off. tsk, that dick.

he looked at you with hesitation. are you nervous? he really didn’t want to leave you heart broken, tho.

he sighed, “how do i say this...” he gulped an imaginary lump in his throat before continuing, “ yn, you’re cute, i admit. but you see i’m not ready for a relationship yet. you’ve seen me turn down other confessions, i think, but i don’t want to do that to you because, well, you’re simply kind and... pure?” shit how do i really say this?

while he’s thinking of nice synonyms he can say instead as a replacement for what he’s about to say, you on the other hand, were left dumbfounded.

what is this guy on...?

when he finally seemed to quiet down, you didn’t even try to comprehend what he said (there’s no need to try honestly it’s impossible) before finally saying what you really needed to say.

“jisung...” you paused for a while blinking at him, “i- i was gonna say ms. kim wants you in her office tomorrow during self-study hour. it’s about your biology grades,” you gave him the paper you were holding - his biology test marked with a big red, “you failed your preliminary quiz again and she’s afraid you’re going to fail the final quiz. she wanted me to say it because we’ve been partners for this subject.”

and then the most awkward silence ensued. not until he spoke with the most “huh?” tone.

“what?”

“Ms. Kim-”

“no wait i heard that. just... what?”

at this point you didn’t know what to say. your eyes travel from one point to another except to his eyes just because he’s clearly unfathomable right now.

“you weren’t-” he stopped to swallow the lump in his throat that now actually exists, “you weren’t going to confess?” he asked (with a bit of a hope that you actually were on the way to do so just to save him from humiliation).

however, he’s hopeless from his mess.

with a furrowed brows you finally answered, “no...? where’d you get that?”

well shit.

“i mean- don’t you like... have a crush on me?”

“where is this coming from?” you kind of dragged the where part because part of you hoped to understand where he’s coming from.

“you were all blushy with me!!” he is currently on his mission to prove that you liked him.

“when?!”

“last week! it even reached your nose and you were so cu-”

“han jisung! it’s winter! i had colds last week!”

“what about that time in the cafeteria when you were all shy?! and that time when you were explaining to me, OUT OF THE BLUE, about how liking someone makes your heart beat and stuff? or when i would catch your eyes on me?!”

“when were those even?! and you totally took that biology thing out of context!” you crossed your arms in front of your chest. you are so into this argument now.

the both of you went through this banter with your voices going higher the further the banter gets for as long as your memory (or jisung’s. he’s racking up his brain to save himself) could allow. however, as the banter got stretched, the more he realized that he really did misunderstand you and your adorable actions. by a lot. so when it finally donned him that he has such a thick face for thinking like that, plus assuming that you would confess, he finally kept quiet and let himself absorb the stupidity he has done.

for you, however, you find this whole strange exchange hilarious. normally, if it was other guys, you’d have slapped him across the street for assuming things. but it is han jisung. he never rubbed it on anyone’s faces that he has a lot of admirers. he never gets cocky about his popularity. he gets shy over small praises (he loves praises). he also managed to teach the whole class one lesson in calculus minutes before an exam just because his friends asked him to teach them a crash course, until the whole class joined their little tutorial.

“soo...” you tried to start.

“wait don’t talk anymore this is kinda embarrassing for me,” he closed his eyes shut as if he's trying to convince himself to wake up from this embarrassing nightmare.

you giggled, well isn't he adorably clumsy? he's weird but you'd just take it as another opportunity to gain a close friend. “do you still need help in biology? i kinda need help in calculus...”

“alright, let’s head down the diner” he answered immediately before walking straight forward without looking at you.

"jisung!” he stopped on his tracks but without looking at you. “it’s this way!" you pointed at the opposite direction of where he was going. he turned towards you and fast-walked in that direction until you told him to wait for you in which he slowed down his steps by tenfold until you were right beside him. still not letting your eyes meet. he’s that embarrassed.

little did you both know a close friend is not only thing you'd gain from this.

#districtninewriters #inkidz #stray kids #han jisung #stray kids au #han jisung au #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #han jisung fluff #han jisung x you #stray kids x reader

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mgsapphire · 3 years

Text

What’s in a name

As an avid literature reader, if there’s one quote I think that has been quoted so much it has lost its meaning, it’s this quote:

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet.

We all know the Shakespearean quote, engraved in souvenir cups and tattooed on people’s back. And yet, with today’s closing scene of Doom at your Service, that’s the only quote I could think of, even if it’s not related at all to the plot.

But names are powerful. And it’s not the meaning we give to them, but the ways others call for it. As much as we wish to be entities separate of other people’s perception of ourselves, we need those perceptions for our existence.

I won’t go into the tree in the forest dilemma, but take it as me saying there’s no tree if no one heard it.

If you’re aware of the context in which the quote Juliet uttered was, you may know that I’m dissecting this whole thing backwards. Juliet basically says, that if Romeo were to get rid of his name, he would still be Romeo, the Romeo she loves.

This part previously said forces me to divide this rant (essay sounds prettier, but is it?) in two parts, what Doom is, despite having no name, and who Tak Dong Kyung is because of her name.

Doom, life and death

For this part right here, I’m going to use my own posts as references, you can find them here in my blog, as poorly done gifs titled Every time Doom was described. Doom has no name, but he has many descriptions. God did me the favor of piling them up this episode, but I’m going to list some descriptions for you real quick:

You’re a butterfly.

I’m Evil.

I’m [...] the last. The end.

I’m just a button of doom. Everything about me leads to doom.

You’re winter, darkness and death.

None of these, out of context have necessarily good connotations. But today, God did a good job explaining why they were good. He exists for balance to exist. He is the balance to God’s creation. In mythologies and lore, there’s always a simultaneous creation of lightness and darkness. As if everything coexisted from the beginning. However, in Doom at your Service, darkness come after lightness, because lightness realized, we need shadows for a garden to rest.

For Doom, since he has no name, but that of darkness, evil and destruction, it is impossible for him to be loved. And in comes Tak Dong Kyung, the Juliet in this bizarre odyssey, who says, I’ve seen Doom so many times, I can’t distinguish between it and luck.

At some point in episodes 3 and 4, she even describes him at fate. This is something he’s dumbfounded about, for him, fate has always had a bad connotation. That’s why he said he was her fate, a bad one.

Even when she said he was winter, darkness and death, she meant those words as a compliment. It was Dong Kyung’s way of saying, you are needed and you are necessary, and what you do is beautiful.

For her, after doom, always comes luck, and so, for her, Doom is her lucky charm. The same way that for Juliet, Romeo is her beloved, even if she’s supposed to hate him.

Tak Dong Kyung and the ultimate power of calling out to someone

This part was the part that made me want to do this post. The montage of all the times people called out to her when she was feeling at her worst. The parts doom didn’t see in the trip God sent him to (expect a separate post about this). After every misfortune she had, Dong Kyung always had someone to remind her not everything was all that bad.

I was reminded of the stylistic decision of the Word of Honor script writer of having A Xu call out Wen KeXing’s full name. The writer once said that there was nothing more romantic than calling out the full name of the one you love and them answering back “why do you call my name so sweetly?”*. There’s a power in calling out to someone.

The way our name is called often tells us about other people’s intentions of approach. When our mother call us by our full names, it’s often to reprimand us, when someone our loved one calls out our name softly, it’s often with tender intentions. And when someone calls out for us in a crowd, it’s because they want us to notice them.

Tak Dong Kyung is often called out by her loved ones in that way. Doom calls out to her in that way, notice me, notice my silent devotion for you, notice the turmoil going on in my heart.

And here’s the funny thing, in Hanja, 동경 means longing**. It’s interesting how much thought the writers put into the characters.

Dong Kyung has always longed to not be abandoned, to live a better life, to be loved. And in turn, Doom longs to love her and to be loved by her. So he calls out to her.

Dong Kyung says:

My life always consisted between the misfortune of the front page and the back page that cannot be flipped to, waiting for an answer. At the end, that person who will call me. That kind of answer.

For her, someone calling out to her is what pulls her out of her misery, her sadness. For her, the next page is always in company of another person.

And it’s the power our name conveys in the lips of others that left me in awe once again. It is sometimes the thing we need; someone calling out to us to pull us out of the darkness of our thoughts.

The following are addendums, not relevant to the post, per se:

*Word of Honor is a Chinese BL adaptation of Faraway Wanderers, a chinese web novel by Priest. Due to censorship, screenwriters often have to find loopholes to convey the true depth of the love between characters. Great YouTube channels that make analysis about c-dramas and Word of Honor in particular are AvenueX and Chinese star news. I honestly don't remember which of the two gave out that piece of information.

**Hanja refers to the incorporation of chinese meanings and characters in Korean language. This can be seen throughout the korean language, but it is specially relevant in the naming process.

#kdrama #korean drama #doom at your service #essay #rant #park bo young #kim saram #analysis #korean actor #one day destruction came through my front door #one day destruction entered the front door of my house #tvn doom at your service #tvn #tvn drama #seo in guk

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argumentl · 3 years

Text

The Freedom of Expression Ep 58 - [NSFW] The truth behind the DIR EN GERY misprint, and a mysterious voice...

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of the Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome...Um..

T: Ah!

J: What is it?

T: No way!

K: Its 'Young Jump'

J: Ah, Young Jump.

K: I think you already know about this, but we put an ad on it like this *shows back page*.

J: Oh, looks great!

T: Yeah, it does. Very impactful.

K: Its good, isn't it?

T: Yeah, great impact.

K: There's something a bit odd about it.

J: Haha

T: Huh? Where?

J: Eh? Something odd?

K: Yeah, its a bit strange. There's a bit of a mistake.

J: Is the kanji for Oboro correct?

K: Yeh, and this is right, about the release on the 28th of April.

J: And Wenesday is correct, right?

K: Yeah, and the explosion screening schedule is ok.

T: Yeah, it is.

K: The ticket price info is also all fine.

J: Yep.

K: After that there's only this bottom section.

J:Yeah.

T: DIR EN...

T, J: GERY, haha.

J: Has a new band formed?

K: We screwed up.

J, T: Hahaha

K: Its hard to believe, right?

J: Incredible. I did not expect this..Dir en gery.

T: I thought it was like a trick or something.

J: Oh, to make it go viral or..?

T: Yeah, going with Dir en gery.

J: Kaoru, what was it?

T: We'll find out about it here.

K: It was a total mistake.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Seriously? Eh? Really?

K: Yeah.

T: Does that mean it was done on a hurry, if its a seroius mistake?

K: Yeah, I guess so.

J: Well, Tasai, you work for a newspaper, and I also work for Rolling Stone, so we understand this, but our work is handed in for checking, you know, proof-reading. And they do spot mistakes, but honestly, I have never seen mistake of this size before.

T: Yeh. This is at the level of 'accident'. However, there is a case for saying that we cannot attack this. What I mean by that is that we too make mistakes.

J: Yes, thats true. There is that. Well, this goes for magazines etc too, but if you do proof-reading within the organization, for example, if the writer writes an article, the editor will proof-read it, and they may intend to, but if everyone is really busy with loads of other work, they will run out of time. Then they will get it checked by an external proof-reader. Even then there are sometimes still typos left over.

T: Yeah, there are.

J: There are, right? Human error happens.

T: Yeah, like if I misspell a name or something, I can correct it on the digital version, but on paper it appears on every copy out there.

J: Yeah..

K: But like this?!

J: Yeah, we say this, but we've never seen a typo this bad. Like, I've mistaken small details in names and stuff before.

K: Yeah, like Young Jump becoming Young JumP, right?

J, T: Yeh, haha.

K: Not like this! *points to 'GERY'*

J: Haha, this is...

*Sound of strange voice occurs in background - On screen text: 'What was that voice?! One more time.. (Clip of strange voice re-plays) No-one during the filming heard this. Its a mystery voice'*

J: Tell us what happened?

T: Yeah, lets ask.

K: Um, we had the design made, and the designer made the regular logo and put it down here in this fixed spot, so it looked as if the logo was done, even though there was a mistake in it. At the time, I wasn't looking at the band name, I was looking at the overall design, and ths impact it had. Like this image of Kyo from RokumaykanGIG. My eyes were drawn to the best parts of the design. It wasn't really designed to emphasize the band name. Its designed to showcase this top part, so I, like, didn't see it. Die didn't even see it, and he normally checks these really carefully. Even if we miss something, he normally spots it straight away.

J: Ah, even Die didn't notice it! ???*1

K: Yeah. We were too busy checking that there were no mistakes in the tour schedule.

J: Yeah.

K: But the information is all correct, so if its just the band name with a mistake, well, maybe its ok.

T: This could become a really rare item in time to come.

J: Yeah, cause there isn't gonna be a misspelling with Dir en grey again after this. That point will be strengthened.

K: Not for a while yeah. A long time ago, we had a single out called 'Filth', and there was a mistake in the title of the song on the cover jacket.

T: Eh? So this is the second time this has happened to you?

K: Well...yeh.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, we occasionally make small mistakes *2, but...

T: This is big.

J: Can I suggest something? Good things come in threes.

K: Ah, terrible.

J: So there will be a third time to come, imagine it, it could be both the title and the band name with a mistake.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, what can I do about it now? If you buy the single 'Filth' even now, its still like that. So filth is spelled f-i-l-h..huh? h-f...um, it's..

T: ..t-h

K: f-i-l-t-h, but the i became f, I mean h. So because there were two h's I realised the mistake. If there really is only one h, it could be that they just made the letters look in that style, but they look the same to me.

T: Ehh? I want to line Filth up next to this magazine.

J: Yeah

J, K: Hahaha

T: Don't you have it here? Filth?

K: We do.

T: Lets put them out together!

K: When I saw this (*Young Jump*) though, well, I thought it was quite rare*3, it could become a talking point. If you take a bad thing in a smooth way, someone will notice, so I thought we could just go with it.

J: Brilliant!

K: And then I posted on Twitter, like 'Ooops'. And that was a photo of the actual magazine, so it really was like 'ooops'.

T: As soon as I saw your Tweet, I was like 'Huh?!' and I went to the convenience store and bought it. haha

J: Well, in that sense it is a rare item

T: Can we decide on the correct reading for this? How would you say it?

K: Ge-ri?

J: Dir en gery (ge-ri).

K: jeri? geri?

J: geri? jeri?

T: gari?

J: Its geri, right? Well, jeri is like..

K: In the basic form its geri, right?

J: Yeah. jeri might have to be 'Gerry' with two r's. Which is best Dir en jeri or Dir en geri?

T: Should we decide? Even though it doesn't really matter.

J: Yeah

J: Dir en geri sounds like a struggling country rock artist or something, haha. Dir en jeri has jellyfish vibes.

T: The official name: Dir en Gery (jeri). haha.

J: I want you guys to do a joke live show as Dir en gery. You could switch parts, like Kaoru, you could be on drums.

K: Ah, but we did kinda do that once, we changed parts on stage. I just made a load of noise.

J: Ahh, so you could do that as Dir en gery somewhere officially and play one song.

T: Ahh, thats a good idea.

J: Do a cover or something.

T: You could do ???*4

K: Er, no. haha.

J: Haha, this will getting bigger and bigger.

T: But I heard recently at the MeguroRokumaykanGIG screening, Kyo said that Toshiya used to play guitar a long time ago.

K: He was playing guitar the first time we saw him playing in a band...well, I don't know if he was playing it, or just waving it around a lot.

T: Yeah, Kyo said the stage was going wild.

K: Yeah, he wasn't playing.

J: So, when you guys switched instruments on stage, what did you do Kaoru?

K: Drums.

J: Oh, drums?

K: Thats the one I wanna try out the most.

J: So if you guys played as Dir en gery, Kaoru, you would be..?

T: Drums?

K:...Nah....*imitates playing the castanets*

J: Tambourine? Oh, castanets? So, it doesn't necessarily have to be the same instruments you play at the moment?

K: Yeah. As long as we play as a proper band.

J: Yeah, so Kyo could play the recorder..

T: Someone could hit the ???*5

J: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that would be good.

*The single Filth gets passed over*

K: I'll just get it out.

*K shows cover jacket to J*

J: Oh, here, right?

K: Can you see, there are two h's.

J: Yes. I see.

*K shows it to T*

J: The first h is a typo?

K: Yeah.

T: Its a bit difficult to spot though.

K: We didn't even notice, we thought it was just the design.

J: Yeah. Put them together now.

*K puts magazine and CD together*

J, T: Hahaha

K: By the way, it was the same person who designed both of these.

J, T: Haha

K: When he saw it he was so pained.

T: Its ok, ???*6

J: Ahh, well, it can't be helped though.

*On screen note: Again? (weird voice appears)*

J: Even if there is a spelling mistake, its conveying the atmosphere that is the main thing.

K: Yeah, thats the emphasis.

J: But on the other hand, you could say that as soon as 'Dir' appears, people recognise it as Dir en grey, even with this kind of misspelling. The name is that well know.

T: Hmm, yeh

K: Hm, well, yeh, if you look at it up to here. But for us, its impossible.

J: Well, I guess yeah. It goes for Rolling Stones too. For example, if the last n in Rolling Stones became an m, you wouldn't immediately spot it. If it came up all of a sudden, you would just think 'Ah, the Stones'. It's that kind of name recognition. You could see it in that way. But I didn't know it was the same designer who did it both times.

K: Our boss was pretty mad about it.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Really? I see.

K: He couldn't believe it.

J: Well, yeah. Its also the most important part.

T: Well, yeah, and cause its already in circulation.

J: Yeah. Well, everyone can keep it as a treasure.

K: Where's Kami?

J: Yeah, isn't he here?

Kami: Oh, Im here, I was just listening the whole time. People make mistakes, right?

T: They do.

Kami: This is just a mistake. So its wrong to point blame.

T, J: Yes.

J: Kami, have you made a mistake recently or something?

Kami: Im always making mistakes, and always getting into trouble.

J, T: Haha

Kami: As soon as you've made a mistake, it hurts, right?

T: Yeah, I know that feeling.

Kami: Yeah.

J: Yeah, the person who made the mistake knows it, you don't have to tell them.

T: Yeah, that hurts the most.

Kami: I bet if you made a mistake like this though, you'd get into big trouble.

T, K: Haha

Kami: I think you really would.

T: Well, heh, yeah. But if even Die overlooked this..its like a demon interferred..

J: Yeah, unbelievable.

K: But, anyway, Im taking it in a good way. Well, I mean, it's not good to take just any old thing in a positive way, but....its a bit like those remarks by Mori that we discussed recently.

J: Oh yeah.

K: Like how to move on with it.

J: Yeah, we can learn from that.

K: Yeah.

*Sound cuts out. On screen note: Suddenly, we were unable to record to voices. Was it linked to that sound we heard earlier?*

K: Um, the sound..

J: It seems as if the sound went off.

T: I wonder whether its to do with what we just talked about?

K: What, like, 'Stop this conversation?'

J: Haha, like from ths designer's perspective...'Please stop it!'

T: Haha, yeah, 'Please!'

J: So, what about the Oboro single?

K: So, we're at the last stage, just the mastering, and a little more discussion, and we're about finished. And then the packaging. Well, there's just a little bit longer till the 28th, about another month.

J: Well, Im looking forward to it.

K: Ok, lets finish here for this week. Thank you.

*On screen note: The voice that no-one, including the staff, heard during recording was recorded into the mic data.*

*1,4,5,6 Couldn't catch

*2, 3 Not entirely sure

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#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

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