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#just gotta push thru ig.
sevenpoyo · 8 months
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some brooklyn slang ik for all the ppl who wanna write for miles and kilometers‼️
feel free to add more idk everything but i i am originally from there and visit a lot this stuff i hear a lot and if you wanna add slang to ur writing this is a good place to start, not all of these brooklyn or ny exclusive but that’s where a lot of american slang starts and u prolly heard some of it b4. imma list it ne ways
don’t use like 8 of these in one sentence bc it will sound weird and i can’t really cover ny puerto rican slang or any puerto rican slang really bc my grandad is a bum so if you know some add it
the city is manhattan, not the other 4 burroughs, just manhattan, cus that’s where everything’s at
to cut ass is to roast tf out of someone , to get your ass cut is get tf roasted out of you
wyling/wilding is being outta pocket, something being absurd or crazy
yeah nah means no and nah yeah means yeah idk why they gotta make it complicated just look at the second word
good looks is like good looking out
it’s bout to be winter and i’m bout to see mad christmas fics and shit but do y’all know the proper way to describe cold ny winters?
if it’s cold as hell, it’s brick outside, not regular cold, ny winter is like nipples so hard i see em thru the bra cold
ex; “how it’s so brick outside i walk to the store wit my hair wet and it deadass got icicles in it” “yeah it’s fr brick outside today” “i’m not walkin wit u in this brick ass weather for a bacon egg and cheese?” (actual convo between my sister and me last winter break)
fronting seem kinda easy to me but is like acting or pretending i can’t explain it with out an example
“why you fronting like you wouldn’t die if they text you asking u to go out with them” “you can stop fronting like you like cars it cool if you don’t” “don’t sit there fronting like u don’t wanna dance wit me”
being tight over something is just being upset or annoyed
rj is so smart they said “We say tight bc you kinda huddle close to yourself when you tense/stressed or angry” i had no idea i just be saying it i aint know it had a reason💀 it make sm sense now.
“who got you tight like that this early in the morning?” “my momma came home tight yesterday for no reason, she threw a boot at me!” “i’m so tight this damn shift change has me working all closers this week”
jack is like claiming someone or something
i talk old as hell idk what the youths be jacking nowadays
cop is basically to get, used to be mostly 4 drugs back in the day my dad said (he don’t know why im asking him this)
“just copped me some retro 3’s” “bout to cop me a few percs in a minute”
speaking of a minute, mostly for my non americans bc that’s who get confused the most when i say this one. depending on the context this can mean a actual minute, a short time or a real long
“i’ll be back in a minute” is short “i ain’t seen y’all in a minute” is long. idk how to explain the difference besides context
bop is a good song, pretty easy but i see ppl on tiktok use it wrong
bangs/banger goes hard is kinda like bob for music but i be using it for anything fr
“this push pop is banging yo”
mad can be used normal like angry but it also means a lot or really kinda like hella ig? i usually uses hella when i would say mad so ppl can understand me easier up here
dumb also mean very in the same way
ex; “my english teacher give out mad homework for no reason.” “she be giving me mad shit over the smallest stuff” “i just had some mad good wings so i’m cooling rn” “this shit is mad spicy u sure you want some?” ''This shit got me dumb tight'' “you don’t need no jacket it’s dumb hot out here”
smacked is like high as fuck idk how to elaborate ur just high
lit is drunk
“Yuuuur!'' A signal, a greeting usually used to catch the attention of someone or something very fun greeting and very hated by schools, it’s weird anywhere outside of ny kinda at least to me.
being hollywood means u get a little fame and think ur all that or just that u got a little fame and they’re jokingly hating
ex; “i saw u on the news the other day, “the prowlers return” u must be real proud of yourself huh hollywood?” “and here comes hollywood wit his trending tiktoks”
real talk is when ur about confess something or say something serious in a not real serious setting or convo
“real talk we play a lot but i love you, my life would be boring with out you around” “real talk i’d never do that to you foreal”
go together is like go out kinda, y’all kinda match behavior cus y’all a couple, this one need a sentence 2 i think. (THIS ONE IS OLD AS HELL ONLY USE IT IF UR TRYING TO RIZZ MOMMA RIO)
“he want ur number? he don’t know we we go together or sum?” “why she wanna act like we go together, ion even know her?” “don’t we go together?”
i can’t even explain it with a sentence y’all just gotta figure this one out 💀
A bodega/deli is a convenience store ik most know this from the movie but some ppl think it’s all stores or all spanish stores when it’s just a corner store
the owners of the deli closest to my granddad house is muslim. and so we keep track of all muslim holidays when he’s closed
an ock is the bodega man, miles knows the man’s name at the deli we see him visit, but at any other store he’d call the guy ock
dipping on someone is changing ur mind last minute, usually canceling plans
ex “we was supposed to go get outfits together but they dipped on me last minute”
staticky is like wanting to fight or still being pissed after a fight
static is beef or on sight energy
you good can really be anything but imma list ones i can think of
it can mean like are you ok? or don’t worry about it, or how are you, or stop, or do you got a issue? or do you want an issue? it’s all in the tone of how it’s said fr
'Word of my moms/dads I saw/ did/did not *insert topic*'' Honest term, no lying present in statement i feel like (my cousins be putting anything on they momma fr risking shit on her for no reason)
'hold it down'' handle buisness / take care of someone or something. can also be in refrence to criminal who handles ''buisness''
NOW EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO @rashadisback BC HE CARRIED ME ON THIS‼️
i hope this helps any writers that don’t live here!
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b0rtney · 3 months
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ALL im saying is if u gave me fuck u money i'd write a fanfic where, for some reason i will come up w later, katniss doesn't/can't volunteer for prim during the reaping.
so we get prim and peeta in the hunger games, hamish and effie coaching them as best they can. and prim is, ofc tiny and scared and like. 11 or whatever (i forgor ages), and peeta is like ":) ok new plan: make sure katniss gets her little sister back!" meanwhile hamish is like "do i even know a kind of self defense that works for someone the size of perhaps a small potato or large hamster????" and effie is like "oh dear lord. oh jesus. she's just solidly gonna die huh??? oh god i need a career change???" and prim, after the shock has worn off, is like "oh shit i have a sister (and mom ig) to get back to. i gotta live thru this."
so prim is like solidly understanding she's not winning against careers in combat. she focuses on any other skill she can get-- medicine to patch herself up, camouflage from peeta, shmoozing for sympathy points (with incredible success, bc she knows who she is and what she looks like), and once she meets the other tributes she manages to worm some useful info on a few things out of a few other tributes who r like "oh poor thing won't survive the cornucopia" and, most notably, she becomes besties w rue.
and so peeta plays his angle of "i just wanna get back to the girl i love uwu," but doesn't bring prim into it as katniss's sister v much bc he knows that would put a target on her back, he instead paints himself as this big ol' sap that'll be easy pickings (if you can find him) so it looks like district 12 just spat out some softies this year (everyone back home is preemptively mourning). maybe he drops one line abt "i will do anything to get prim home safe" w kinda a looking-directly-into-the-camera-kubrick-stare moment.
meanwhile prim is like "rue. bestie. it might be great for us to play our friendship to the camera a bunch? for ratings?? ppl send us things for free??" and rue is like "aight sure yea lets do it" so they do it-- and if my lesbian ass has her way maybe they have little tiny baby crushes and like. hold hands or somn. idk ceasar would play it up and soon we've got the whole capitol like 'THE BABIES OH GAWD NO' and so the star-crossed lovers thing still happens, but with prim and rue. the capitol loses it's shit, bc they're on the way younger side, with baby faces, who have been playing up how tiny and defenseless they are to anyone who will listen for clout and donations.
with a push from peeta/haymitch/effie, ceasar's little-babies-who-will-never-even-get-to-be-fully-in-love-bc-there's-no-way-they're-surviving-the-next-24-hours shtick for prim/rue gets spun wildly out of control before the games even start and suddenly the capitol is demanding the games be called off since "so many of them are so young!" at most extreme, or wondering if the minimum age for the hunger games isn't too young at most moderate.
district 13 was not ready for such a prime revolution moment to happen so quick, but they make the best of it in a somewhat disorganized way. They sway public opinion into spinning this story up, up, and away from capitol control, which eventually (through difficult to succinctly summarize PR bullshit) has everyone calling for snow to step down, and he can't very well use the cattleprods on the supposed upper crust, can he? not when every other district is already twitching for an excuse to revolt and has been for a while. so he 'gracefully' steps down (repercussions to be written in fic). district 13 is like damn they r fr handing us this one wtf.
coin(? i forgor names lol) is just barely too slow to neatly slot herself into power, bc now the capitol+districts is like "WE should get a say *insert democracy/anarcho-communism/republicanism/alt-govt.png*" idk maybe panem fractures into smaller govts that stop being affiliated w one country idk. i havent written the fic yet bc i dont have fuck u money.
what i DO know is katniss is honestly too involved in watching the games and subsequent bullshit to notice gale breathing, and peeta comes home w prim who is like 'can we go visit rue in the spring?' and katniss is like '....... u just restructured the govt...... sure yea wtvr' and peeta goes back to pining bc i just dont think he knows how to make a move when not on a death-related timeclock. maybe prim throws him a bone and wingmans him in there.
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jinnie-study · 2 years
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2022.04.29
there's an ache between my ribs where my lungs are. my body is getting so tired of running into doors locked shut. perhaps i should start to look at which doors are open.
oof i forgot where most of these stickers are from... the bottom left is from @rainylune on twt/ig!!
april is almost over! im kinda shocked this month just flew by! between ramadan responsibilities and studying ive completely lost track of the days. in other news, i bought my partner their birthday gift and im soooo excited to give it to them. sometimes focusing on these little moments together despite being far apart helps. but let me tell u, i did NOT know how painful ldrs can be before this and it hits so hard everyday and every night we're apart. i keep pushing myself down this road though because i want to do my best and be the best person i can possibly be when i finally get to be with them. :,> but enough gushing! ive had a slow week on studying because of shadowing so i gotta slog thru a week's worth of things in a day 😔 wish me luck!
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anapologethicc · 3 years
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i'm trying so hard not to have a complete meltdown
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frecklystars · 2 years
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I went to order a starlight valentines cameo (I meant to do that yesterday) but it says his VA is... temporarily unavailable 💔💔
I have never seen him do that before. good for him for taking a break, he rly doesn’t do that often so I know he must really need it. but also, wh,,, that was the one valentines cameo I was actually rly rly rly looking forward to,, what do I do now bro 😭😭
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essaysbyciara · 3 years
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Fireworks | Erik “Killmonger” Stevens x Reader
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Warnings: Language, smut thoughts, drug use, drinking
The 4th been gone, I know lmao. Haven’t wrote anything in a minute and you know I have fun with Killmonger, so here it is. Hope you dig. Something sweet. 
Nothing could top the fireworks popping off at the base of your spine. The ones sending smoke signals freeing you to find the pleasure that only he could set off within you. But you weren’t done. Why would you be? You hadn’t reached the combustive ending that you both were waiting for. But you had to race somewhere to find that moment to be free and brave. 
A post on IG gave you all the deets. 
Meet us at Care Park off Layton Road.  Bring bottles. 
You see a stream of Black men, women and children basking in the carefree with some local rapper’s psalm blasting from factory speakers. You’re never off the 4th of July. Same for your homegirl. You message her to see if she wants to grab a burger and bomb-ass potato salad in an attempt to get a closer look at this dude who got you all the way fucked up. 
His name is Erik. He goes by Killmonger. Or Kill. You know him only as this dude whose crew flexes around on the interwebs. He’s only in the gym, it seems. And the block. Flashing his pretty teeth with gold caps in the mirror as he shows off his daily gains. He’s a tough one. All his crew is, to be honest. You’ve lived in this city for so many years that you didn’t think fine like that existed until following a trail of tags led you to his page. He was sexier that the one you first wanted, an impossible feat you thought. 
But it was true. He thirst trapped his way into your heart. And onto your follower’s list. 
He followed you back. Liked a few posts of you flexing your curves in your favorite black t-shirt dress. Nothing happened beyond those moments in infancy until you waxed banter about the city you both call home -- him since birth, you since 2013 -- and he took notice, maybe offense. 
Lol you gotta live over where I’m at
You did, not too far away. The conversation didn’t last beyond you confirming his belief of where you laid your head at night. You dreamed of dialogue, of laughs, of something substantial. You dreamed of him, shit. But that was it. 
“Who’s grilling today?” Your homegirl’s phone call was right on time. 
“Girl, you know that fine-ass dude from Instagram? They having something over at Care. Looks like a community thing.”
“Let’s go…”
“What? I don’t know them like that.” 
It’s a lot of them. You follow most of them. They crew thick. 
“Ain’t you and dude talk before? Just hit him up and see if it’s cool…”
Your nerves start to snap, crackle and pop. You ain’t that bold. You also may have exaggerated at how much you and Kill conversed in the past. Instead of banking on your perceived closeness, you like the post and keep scrolling to see if someone you actually know has something going on that you could waltz your way into without remorse. 
Until your phone vibrates. 
Bring a friend and come thru
Kill saw your bat signal and responded faster than Robin on a mission. He’s been on assignment to get to you since you followed him back that day. But street dudes carry a shyness when it comes to finding the right one to come home to every night. He thought you’d get the clue and shoot your shot when he liked your posts. He didn’t move hastily in the neighborhood so why would he move that way into your private messages?  His homeboy vouched for you even though he barely knew you. “She seem dope as shit.” His friend is the one that coaxed Kill into asking you to come out. They needed more girls at this party, in all honesty. 
You were Kill’s type. You had the right amount of cushion to do the maximum amount of pushing Kill wanted to put on you. Desire goes both ways. 
Cool! How late y’all going?
Until they kick us out lmao
“What time the liquor store close, Sis?” 
You cradle two bottles of Woodford Reserve as you adjust your hair in the driver’s side window. The neighborhood calls it “We Don’t Care” Park for a reason. Nestled between two enclaves with decades-old beef, the grassiest parts were missing a shit-ton of green. 
You and your friend catch a mix of “you know them?” and “shit … who they?” from street soldiers active and retired. 
“Shit. She actually came, bruh…”
Kill’s leaves from under the canopy of trees to greet you. The smell of Bleu De Chanel and the finest cannabis greet you in return. A black tee, black jeans and black Timbs don’t make sense in this blistering sun but no rules should exist for a body built like a tank ready to do battle. You accept his uniform. It looks good as fuck on him. 
“You might want to hide those bottles though. Niggas will go after that.”
“I brought them to be taken. Ain’t that sharing?” You and Kill catch eyes and don’t let go. 
“Facts. But I’m sure you wanna drink some of your shit.” A lip bite punctuates that ‘shit’. 
You shake your head in agreement -- and shake the lust from your body -- and let Kill lead the way. He finds you and your friend an empty picnic table to rest your wares. Your homegirl doesn’t waste time to find the most important ware of them all: a styrofoam plate. She came for the potato salad. You’re too frazzled by Kill to even eat. 
A small plastic cup finds itself next to you. Kill pours you a shot before you could tell him that you need to eat first. The sound of the crack of a new liquor bottle calls all the warriors from their posts. Just like that, one of your two bottles went goodnight. 
“To 40th!” 
40th is just around the corner. You heard things but never ventured over that way. Your neighbors made 40th Street out to be a war zone but right now you look around and see a community full of working-class people relishing in their one day off to be around friends, family and a good time. Aunties trading laughs and young fathers with their sons on their lap as they slap cards down on the table. 
And Kill asking you if you want something to eat. He chaperones you over to the table full of food. He needs the neighborhood to know that you was his. He leaves you alone to eat and get settled. 
“Kill got it bad for you, girl” 
“You think so?”
Kill couldn’t fight how juiced he was that you came out. So much that he’s plotting some alone time away from the madness that’s starting to die down as the sun goes down with it.  A second set of manic behavior is set to take place: bags and boxes of fireworks. Hopefully no gunshots but you know the vibes. So does your homegirl. It’s time to go. 
Kill sees your sultry walk sway your hips away from the pavilion and into his direction. A sativa-laced moan escapes his lips. The brown liquor provided by you and others has him on a slight lean. He feels so good. He wants to make you feel good too. 
“Just letting you know that we’re leaving. Thank you for inviting us out.” 
“Y’all leaving already? We just got poppin’ out here.” 
“Yeah, they about to set these fireworks off and I want my car in one piece.” 
And your heart. Since you arrived, Kill barely talked to you. Wrapped up in the conversations of his brothers and brethren, he couldn’t break away to get to know you. Your homegirl occupied your time more than he did. You thought it was sweet of him to invite you out. You saw the lay of the land: the number of single women dwindled into the zeroes. Maybe he asked you over to appease his friends, to make today somewhat worthwhile, to end the night with something poppin’ off other than fireworks. Out of all of this day, you now know that if Kill is doing something and makes it public, you can show up. You needed more friends anyway. 
Kill’s newest smell of cognac engulfs you as you reach in to hug him. You can barely get your arms around him but he damn near swallows you. You don’t want to let go but like your dreams of having him in your arms full-time, you do. 
My bad we didn’t get a chance to talk like that. How long you gonna be up? 
Kill’s DM greets you on your couch after a long shower of washing away smoke of all kinds from your body. 
Let me come get you so you don’t have to worry about your car.
(read part two here.)
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lunar-lair · 4 years
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Uh,,ok so like,,,,,,,I had this? Idea? And I just wanted to know what people thought of it before I actually wrote it, so uh. Yeah
(Sidenote, this is basically an outline/bulletfic? Like it's Mostly fleshed out in terms of concept but that doesn't mean it's a full Fic yknow? I plan on...hopefully, eventually...writing this Fully. I just wanted to get input on just how off base my characterization is and shit...hehe. Also my excuse for any weird writing is that I wrote this in the bath and I was trying to go Fast so my water wouldn't get cold. Anyways notes over bye)
Named 'Cleaved Apart, Cleaved Together': abt The Split and how the two were separated (physically AND emotionally) and then how they bond again after Remus is accepted and the boys like,,,,,,accept each other as Bros again
At first I was thinking No Fusion but also like,,,I really like the idea of them fusing again on accident when they're really super happy or in sync
So after a Lot of bonding-chilling in the Imagination, just fucking around with each other, and even talking thru shit together-they finally manage it.
They were just in the common room with all the other sides, maybe setting up for a movie night or something?
They came rushing down the stairs, talking frantically together about a new idea they had while pushing each other lightly with every silly tease and making jokes about old shenanigans that only they could really understand
(Patton and Janus could remember days before The Split, when the two were one.
Janus could still remember them shouting not to be seperated.
Patton still hated the fact that it was basically his decision to keep them apart.
Thank the Lord they were close again.)
The two finally stepped into their usual spot in front of the tv, chatting with each other and the others
Eventually, they ended up talking about some stuff they'd made together. Some plans they'd been making together. They finally told a joke at the same time that got them falling over each other laughing,
And then it happened.
There was a flash of light and then-and then-
It wasn't King. It wasn't Creativity, the original.
But it was them.
Patton and Janus only sat there, teary eyed with dropped jaws, and Virgil and Logan began questioning what the FUCK was up, how are two sides fusing-?
And Roman and Remus sat there, tearing up before laughing a moment. 
"Roman."
"Remus."
Two almost-different voices right after one another, happier than any of them had ever heard them.
"We need to talk about this separately though, hm?" Roman, with a laugh.
"Yeah."
Another flash and he was gone, replaced by the brothers again who shook their heads, in a bit of disarray.
"Was that ok?" They asked at the same time, staring at each other.
"We don't have to be him anymore...I mean, we're our own people now Remus."
"Yeah, but that was FUN!" Remus replied, throwing his arms around Roman.
Roman laughed. "Then maybe every now and then?"
And Remus just laughed back. "Why the Hell not!"
They finally turned at the sound of a sniffle.
Janus was crying, and Patton wasn't really much better. Logan and Virgil seemed bewildered, though Logan a little less so.
"Janus? Patton? I understand you remember original Creativity more vividly than we do, but I do not understand what elicited sadness. Are you alright?"
Janus gave a watery laugh, wiping away some tears. "God, I couldn't be better."
Remus and Roman stopped, their smiles finally dropping. Roman reached forward, arm just a few inches in front of Janus. "Did we...do something wrong?"
Janus smiled again and shook his head, tugging on Roman's arm. "Come here you dork."
Patton pulled Remus in along with them and they all ended up in a little cuddle pile, Logan and Virgil joining in too, on the outside, bc Bitch, We're Worried Too.
Remus looked up at them, just Confused. "Then what's up??"
Janus and Patton's smiles dimmed a bit, and Janus began with a sad smile; "It's...simply a long story."
"That long story short, though, uh…" Patton continued, rubbing a hand on his neck nervously. "Wellll...the Split was really scary…"
Janus chuckled. "Exactly. Imagine the friend you've known since you were born splitting into two all of a sudden with ear-ringing screams to match."
"And then, after that…"
"You...decided to split those sides of him...just because one wasn't as perfect as the other."
Patton looked down and held Remus a little tighter. "...that was...mostly my decision."
Janus gave him a Look that simply meant 'we've talked abt that Way too much dude' and moved on. "But either way...it was...well…"
"Neither of you remember it, but...you...didn't want to be split."
Janus smiled again, sweet as honey. "And even after all we did...you two still managed to stick together."
"And even if the person you make now wasn't who he used to be-and it shouldn't be, really-it was like…"
"...seeing two...old friends you used to know meeting again."
"Or seeing two pieces of a whole come together again to make something even more than what they started with."
Janus teared up a little again, gripping them a little tighter. "It's so great to see you two whole again."
Remus and Roman had memory upon memory of feeling...empty. Like there was a piece missing of them. Like nothing they made was quite right. And since they had started to bridge their gap, they'd finally felt that emptiness filling up.
Janus and Patton could remember so, so many times where the two of them had missed their brother, where they told them something wasn't right-especially in the beginning.
Even Logan had memories of trying to figure it out with Roman.
Virgil remembered plenty of days where Remus just seemed off, but couldn't explain what was wrong, and...no matter how little Virgil understood, he would sit with him and try to ward it off anyways.
Remus and Roman laughed, eyes teary, and locked hands between them all.
"Yeah.
We're glad too."
And now for my myriad of Notes:
I was actually thinking of just some kind of melding shit for the fusion bc I thought it would be Cool but then I realized it was Thomas' brain so it'd probably look like the shit from SU. Big F :///
Sorry for any inconsistencies, I was giving .2 shits at the time and also In The Tub, so
Me, a bitch who has siblings but isn't very close to them emotionally: *shaking my phone wildly* hoW THE FU CK DO I WRITE BRO THERS INTERACTING S O F T L Y-
I'm Certainly planning on more stuff coming from Virgil and Logan, we can't leave them out
I'm Aware that 80% of this isn't canon, but,,,,last I checked we didn't really care here? So??
For the scene after Roman and Remus defuse, I'm honestly thinking more of smth where the two go to one of their rooms and talk it out and THEN go back to the commons to check on The Boys and o h sh it why are Janus and Patton crying-
Answer: they thought they'd fucked everything up for them but they didN'T! FUCK YEA!!!
Idk how to explain,,,Why they're emotional abt this actually
Like...idk. Um...they both care for both of them and didn't want them to be separated Permanently bc they Knew they didn't feel right w/out each other?
Ok that works
Anyways but uh
Then Logan and Virgil get to ask some questions and THEN we get to the part where Janus and Patton explain why they are In Tears
Also Logan wasn't as old as Pat and Jan when Creativity split, so he doesn't really...remember it
Virgil was probably Very New tbh
The opening scene is ABSO LUT ELY going to Extremely metaphorical and sad and like 'two pieces of a whole cleaved apart' yknow
Gotta make angst to make that fluff!!
Also don't ask me why Janus falls apart Even Harder than Patton does here man, I think he's just On The Mind and I'll make our dad friend more emotional in Post, I Promise
Also pls hmu if the shit I've managed to put here so far is So Out There it's Impossible, I've written Janus one (1) time and I have written Remus zero (0) times ok
Also Remus and Roman don't...really remember much of the split. They remember feeling whole and then empty and whole again, and they have some of OG Creativity's memories, but the Split and moments following are...Foggy. Rightfully so, aswell, tbh.
Also how I imagine it going is like,,,,the boys are split, they hang out for a bit, and then they're taken by their respective Parent(ish) and are taught Entirely Differently and therefore grow to dislike each other!!!!!!!
patton has oh so much to regret.
They could've been Brothers...
Oh my God they could've been Br ot her s...............
Patton and Janus at 3 am crying over the fact they separated the boys at the Split be like:
Anyways!! My whole point is that Hopefully any problems will be Fixed when I actually write it but I just wanted to get the concept out there and uh,,,,,,yeah
Anyways uh *shuts my door* yea that's that,,,thanks for coming to my ramblings ig
(I'm so sorry I can't put a read more, I'm on mobile,,,)
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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years
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ahhh it is embarrassing how my siblings find me in the most candid moments,, i'm just glad that the video didn't spread too far among my friends,, because i know for a fact that if it reached far enough, someone would end up posting it here!! at least they always threaten to do so... 😖💫 oh my, and morgy dear, you are one sly fox, don't think i missed where you called my existence "ethereal" in tags... you are way too sweet to me!! but really, the only thing ethereal here is you~ 💞 (2/9)
"i started watching playthroughs of the ace attorney games today (since i can't afford to buy any of them) and i really enjoy it so far!! i can't wait to watch more, and this coming week, i plan to set a day aside to watch more of our show 😉 (3/9)
ooh, something quite funny has happened today,, i put out this question on instagram asking if any of my friends want to go out for dinner with me sometime (since i was bored and i think it's a nice idea hehe) and now i have TONS of people saying yes!! oh gosh, it's quite crazy! i feel bad for it but i think i have to pic just a few people, since the amount of contenders is overwhelming,, ahhhh i do hope they'll take it well!! 😅 (4/9)
today was spent working,, tailoring clothes and cleaning the house to be exact,, it was all so tiring, and unfortunately i was the only one who was able to do it since everyone else was "busy",, mamma mia,, but i did end up having to do more food shopping today, and it started to storm super hard while i was out! i am scared of thunderstorms, so being out and about during one is truly a nightmare for me!! (5/9)
they are so beautiful but terrifying at the same time,, oh gosh, it was even worse since i was out by myself,, no one to latch onto for safety 😖 i think the thunderstorm may be related to a hurricane that is incoming towards my country,, it most likely won't hit as bad in the north (where i am) since the storms tend to die down and wash out in the atlantic by the time they reach here, so we'll probably just get more thunderstorms,, (6/9)
though in return, we get these awful storms that we call nor'easters, which are basically wintry hurricanes they are truly awful for me to live through since i do not do well with cold at all,, my friends and i actually got caught in one by accident last year, and we were stuck outside for 3 whole hours... ah that was such a scary situation!!!!we all ended up going to the hospital to get checked out since we were trapped for so long... (7/9)
everyone i know in person always talks about how we're "survivors", but i'm not sure if that's the right term to use... i guess it's the law of equivalent exchange? a hurricane for a nor'easter hehe ☁ speaking of storms, when the rain died down, i went to check on the bunnies,, and the poor cuties were soaked and shivering! i offered them my raincoat and umbrella to stay under, but i guess they were desperately cold, to the point where they cuddled up to me! (8/9)
i ended up laying there for half an hour, trying to warm the little bunbuns up,, and even though i came home shivering myself, i'm so happy that sacrificing my body heat was enough to help them!! 😊 oh my stars, i feel the tiredness hitting me, I guess that means sleepy time hehe! goodnight dolcezza, i'll see you tomorrow!! sending sweet dreams your way 💕 - love always, your adoring waifu 💋🌺💘💌🌠 ps: we must definitely go out to dinner together,, no if's and's or but's about it~! 😘 (9/9)"
Ok so before i say anything else tungle mighr have eaten the first part to ur letter and im boutta throw fists 🗿🗿🗿🗿 but either way i gotta say darling my eyes read over the words "sly fox" and i immediately c r e a s e d jhdusuxhdjs im only stating facts alright🤪🤪🤪 it wouldn't be the first time someone calls me sly but i take that as a compliment really👁️
And before we dive d e e p e r lemme tell u a lil secret....i myself did not buy the aa games so if u acc want to play em hmu👀👁️👀👁️
Ok so as for the storms thing i gotta say thats fuckin wild ur life really does sound like a move darling u know rhshxhd i do know its esp bad lately from another american friend of mine who told me that it also heavily rained in her area (she's on the east coast) so🗿🗿🗿 but ig u would be called survivors since technically u made it thru a natural disaster which is fuckin w i l d
Its nice to see that u were more productive again ofc (and also u warming those poor bunnies up? Icon 11/10 disney princess right fuckin here) but i gotta say once more idk how u do it....i'd be burning up the house when attempting to cook and shredding the clothes in less than a second🤡 my day was spent writing (smth non jojo related) then i went out and played football until my legs gave in and pain shot thru my entire body since my dumbass can go at it for h o u r s completely ignoring if i scrape some skin or shit like that just bc i wanna push thru and keep playing a h a
On another note, im p sure ur friends would all want to go out w u (i myself the most but shh) 👁️
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lightupmyass · 5 years
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Pairing: Demon! Taehyung x Devil's Spawn! Reader (feat. Seokjin)
A/N: Hello everyone! So this is the first thing over written in a really long time. I had other blogs that I posted on that I have since become inactive on. This blog is a place for me to basically post whatever I want with no theme. Do keep in mind, I haven't actually completely written anything in months so this might be shit, but I hope you like it!
Warnings: pwp, possession, dirty talk, unprotected sex, rough sex, cameo of Seokjin's huge shlong
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It's been so long since the first time you heard him, you can't even remember how it happened. Ever since you were a little girl, there's been a little voice inside your head, one different from yours. He always called himself Taehyung, claiming to be sent by your "true father" to keep an eye on you. You never understood what he meant until you were older.
"Sorry about the mix up, ma'am. I promise it won't happen again." You apologize to the woman at your counter, handing her the correct bag of food after an issue with the drive thru orders. "Happen again? Of course it won't happen again! I'm not coming back until you get your employees in line!" The middle age woman shouts, grabbing the bag out of your hand before turning on her heels, leaving you with the biggest fake smile you've ever put on as you silently curse her out. "You know, I still don't see why you let people walk all over you like that, Princess. You're the daughter of the devil, you could literally just banish her to hell and have your father take care of her. You're too nice." Taehyung chuckles. "You obviously don't understand how humans work, Tae. I can't just banish them to hell so Daddy can clean up my mess every time some rude ass bitch tries me." You think back to the demon. This is how your conversations always went. Obviously talking out loud to the voice in your head would look strange to say the least, so you were able to communicate with him through your thoughts. However, that also meant that none of your thoughts were kept to yourself, meaning every little daydream or rude comment you made in your mind were also shared with him.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. I just think you should maybe, I dunno, act less like a human? They're disgusting creatures." He scoffs, making you roll your eyes. "They are not. Some of them are really nice for, certain things." You huff. Luckily your shift is almost over, so you take your apron off, cleaning up to go home. "Sure, because that guy from the other night was so good at those 'certain things'." The reminder of the disappointing hook up from earlier in the week gets to you, your rage slowly intensifying. "That was just one time. Normally things go really well. That night was just, weird. Like, I'm kinky, but that guy was less kinky, more creepy." You cringe at the memory. "You gotta stop getting hung up on them. Find yourself a nice demon to marry. There's one right here that's already stuck with you for life, so why not make it official?" You can't tell if he's serious or not, so you just ignore him.
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"Trying to make up for the other night? What, did I get to you earlier?" Taehyung laughs as you take a swig of your drink, scoping out the dance floor. "You know, I could do better than any of the guys out there. I have eons of experience. Just say the words and I can be the best you've ever had or will ever have again." You scoff at his confidence. "Alright, don't break your arm jerking yourself off. I'm sure I can find someone that can please me even better than you ever could." You giggle, catching the eyes of a tall, gorgeous man from across the room. The man smirks, heading towards you as you down the rest of your drink, fixing the hem of your dress so it sits a little higher on your thighs.
"Hey. Sorry, I just had to come over and say that dress looks really good on you." The man smiles brightly at you, towering over you even while you sit on the tall barstool. You smile at the compliment, running a hand over the soft silk button up he has tucked into his slacks. "You don't look so bad yourself. I'm Y/N, and you are?" "Seokjin. Care to dance?" The man asks, holding his hand out to you. "I think I have a better idea." You smirk.
"Oh fuck!" You gasp, Seokjin's huge cock stretching out your walls as he thrusts inside of you, sweat dripping off his forehead to land onto your breasts. His face buries in your neck as you wrap your arms around him. "Please. I can still make you feel so much better. This dude is too vanilla." Taehyung's voice rings through your mind. It was times like this that you wish he could just leave you alone so you could enjoy the pleasure in peace. "So bi-ig. Feels so fucking good." You moan, nails scraping against Seokjin's broad back. "Yeah, big is good and all, but if you don't know how to use it, it's not worth it." You try your best to ignore him, but the more he talks, the harder it becomes. "I mean, a dick like that, if he flipped you over and rammed into you from behind you'd be gushing in seconds. What a waste, doesn't even know how to fuck right." The more he talks, the more you imagine the things he says, and you like it. "He didn't even go down on you either. Is this his first time? This is way too slow for a one night stand. What you need is a good, rough fuck that leave your legs shaking and your head spinning. A fuck where the only thing you can remember is his name." He's just ranting at this point, but you can't help how it makes you feel, the pleasure intensifying as your mind wanders. A loud moan apparently catches his attention, a devious chuckle ringing through your head.
"Like the sound of that, huh Princess? Being fucked from behind, your face shoved into the pillow, or maybe being held against a man's chest while his hand wraps around your throat? So dirty, Princess." He tsks. You bite your lip, trying to hold back your moans, not wanting to show him how much he's affecting you. "Don't you wanna be fucked like that, Princess? Get fucked stupid? I keep telling you, I can make you feel good. Just say the magic words and I can give you everything you deserve. Say the words, Princess. Call my name." Taehyung's voice deepens, and you can feel yourself teetering off the edge, both from his words and Seokjin's cock still fucking into you. "Oh, fuck, please Tae!" You cry out, realizing a little too late what you said out loud. Seokjin stops, pulling away from you. "Tae? Whose Tae?" Shit.
"Oh, it's uh, it's nothing. I just, um-" "Look, I'm sorry, but if you're caught on some other dude, I'm not into it. Feelings with other people get way too confusing. I'm sorry, I can't keep going." Seokjin sighs, sitting up and covering himself with a sheet. You nod, knowing you can't stay. "Hey, if things don't work out with this Tae guy, give me a call, yeah?" He smiles as you get dressed.
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"Dammit, Tae. You completely ruined the night. I hope you're happy." You think to yourself, hoping he can tell how pissed off you are at yet another unsatisfying lay. Tossing your keys on your counter top, you sigh, closing your eyes. "Nothing smart to say now, asshole? Just like you to run away and not take responsibility for your actions." You huff, irritated that he's ignoring you now. You plow down on your couch, deciding whether or not you should take a shower before bed, until there's a knock on your door. Groaning, you get up to look through the peephole, seeing a man that you've never seen before. Too angry to think clearly, you open the door, ready to tell at the man to go away. Before you can say anything, however, you're backed into your house, pinned up against the wall and soft lips moving hungrily against yours.
You gasp, pushing the man away in shock. "Hey, what the hell?!" You shout, the man stumbling back a little, a smirk on his face. "Oh, come on now, Princess, don't act like you didn't like it." A familiar voice comes from the strange man, your eyebrows knitting in confusion. "T-Tae? Is that you?" You ask, stunned. The man poses, a big boxy smile taking over his lips. "In the flesh. Well, someone to flesh. Dunno exactly who he is, but it works. Hot, right?" He asks. He's not wrong, the man is incredibly attractive, wavy blonde hair falling into his flawless face, rings decorating his long fingers, earring chain dangling from his earlobe, and a nice suit hiding a seemingly fit body. "Mhm." You hum, trying to keep yourself from drooling. You can barely remember why you were mad until you're backed into the wall again, wrists pinned above your head.
"Why are you home so early? I was hoping to surprise you. What, did he not finish you off?" Taehyung asks, his head cocking to the side as his eyes roam over your body. "Well, apparently saying another man's name is kind of a cock block for some guys." You huff, turning your head to the side. "You actually said my name out loud? Oh, Princess. So needy for me while you were already stuffed full of cock. What a dirty whore." He hums, lips ghosting over the soft skin on your neck. "Well it's not my fault you're so good at dirty talk." You mumble. "I'm good at other things too, Princess. Want me to show you?" You moan as his lips attach to your neck, kissing and nipping at the skin as his leg slips between yours, giving you something to grind on.
He drops your wrists in favor of tugging your dress down, letting it pool at your feet, his eyes enjoying the lack of bra. "Mm, let's go. Bedroom. Now." He orders, giving a smack on the side of your thigh. You jump into action, rushing to your bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed, spreading your legs as he stalks in after you. "Good girl. You're very good at this." He smiles as he leans down, catching your lips in a chaste kiss before kneeling in front of you, large hands running up and down your thighs. "Tae, please. Just fuck me." You whine, grabbing him by the back of his neck, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. The denial of release from Seokjin had you even more desperate for Taehyung to make you feel good. He smirks, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his mouth to place a kiss on it. "Y/N, I don't get to use this body for long, so I'm gonna make the most of it. Don't worry, you'll get fucked, but right now, just let me do what I want." He wraps his arms around your legs, your back falling onto the mattress as he pulls your pussy to his face, your legs over his shoulders.
"Been wanting to taste you for so long." He hums against you, the vibrations sending waves through you, making you shudder. "Please, Tae. Make me feel good. Want you so bad. Need you." You beg, hoping he'll stop teasing you. Your wish is granted as he licks a strip up your folds, tongue flicking against your clit before he moans into you. "Shit, Tae." You moan, fingers immediately finding purchase in his hair as your hips move against his mouth, doing everything possible to get the most pleasure. "So wet already. Is it from him, or me?" Taehyung asks, pulling away and using his finger to trace over your slit, coating the digit in your slick. "Y-You. All for you." You moan as he slips his finger inside of you, pumping it slowly. You definitely don't need any prepping, but his long fingers reach exactly where you need them to, driving you crazy as he picks up the pace. "Good girl. I swear to you, no one will ever make you feel as good as I will."
He slips three fingers inside of you, pounding relentlessly as his tongue flicks against your clit, fingers curling perfectly inside of you to have you teetering over the edge in a matter of minutes. You're hit with an intense wave of pleasure, crying out as your legs shake, wetness coating your thighs and his face as he continues through your high, pulling away when you start whimpering. "Damn, you've never done that before." He smirks, rubbing your thighs gently as you calm down, licking what he can of your essence off his face. All you can do is lazily chuckle as you wipe the sweat off your forehead. You start to relax, closing your eyes, calming down a bit until you hear a deep chuckle. Looking up you see Taehyung shirtless, wiping his face with the white button up. "Now Princess, why are you acting like we're finished here?" He chuckles. The cocky smirk on his face, the list and hunger in his eyes, you can't help but feel afraid and excited all over again.
You lick your lips as you examine the body he's borrowed. It's incredible really. Not too buff, but the perfect kind of fit. Somewhat toned but not intimidatingly so. He looked perfect, and the large tent you find growing in his slacks only add to it. You kneel on the bed, beckoning him to come closer. When he does your fingers trace over his waistband, unbuckling his belt as he watches, entertained by how eager you are. Before you can unbutton his pants he grabs your hands, stopping you. "Unh unh. You don't get to see it. If you see, you might like it just because it's the owner of this body. When I fuck you, you're going to focus on the fact that it's me. I make you feel good, understand? Doesn't matter what body I use." You nod in understanding, remembering that this body isn't his to own, and that the next time you summon him, he might need to use another body.
"My sweet Princess. Turn around, ass up, face down. Let me make you feel good." He whispers, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. The way he talks, you sense that maybe this isn't just the simple fuck session you thought it was. You can feel something in your heart, the tone of his words warming your heart while making you drip again. You do as he says, your he'd resting on your pillows as you put yourself on display for him, impatiently waiting as you hear his pants hit the floor, the bed dipping behind you. "Mm, so beautiful." He whispers as his large hands rest of your ass cheeks. Before you know it, the head of his cock is teasing your entrance before pushing into you, earning a loud moan from you as he fills you up. It wasn't bigger than Seokjin's but it was damn close, the position making it even better. He was right, Seokjin had no idea what he was doing, but you know deep down that Taehyung is about to do exactly what he said he would.
"Fuck, still so tight. Always imagined how your cunt would feel. So fucking perfect." He groans, gripping your hips as he buries all the way into you. "Tae, fuck me please. Need you to fuck me nice and hard." You beg, moving your hips, bouncing yourself on his cock. He hums, pumping himself into you. "You want me to fuck you, huh? Nice and hard? Can you handle that?" He asks, pulling out and pounding into you so hard your entire body lurches forward. "Fuck! Yes! Please!" You cry out, gripping onto the pillow by your head. "Fucking slut." He mutters before pounding into you again, tugging your hips to meet his thrusts as you just lay there and take it, being too overwhelmed to actually do anything else. "Is this what you wanted, Princess? Or do you want more?" He asks. You don't know what he means until he grabs your shoulder, pulling you up until you're flush against his chest, his hips still moving as his hand wraps around your throat, his fingers tightening their grip. You gasp, not actually expecting this from him.
"Fuck, you must really like this, huh? Can feel you, clenching around me. I fucking love it." He moans, his teeth digging into your shoulder, causing you to shudder. He drops you, your body falling back onto the bed as he pulls out of you, turning you onto your back before slipping back into you. His hands grip the headboard as he fucks into you again, the force behind his thrusts making the entire bed shake. You try to curse, cry out his name, say anything, but all you're capable of are moans and gasps as he pounds your sweet spot. "Fuck, Princess, you gonna cum for me? Gonna cream all over my cock? Come on, Y/N, want you to cum for me." He groans. It's only a few more thrusts before you lose control, walls squeezing tight around him, triggering his own orgasm and milking him for all he's worth and you ride out your high, gasping for air.
His body collapses on top of yours, the mixture of cum dripping out of your still full hole as his sweat drips onto you. "Fuck. That was amazing." He gasps, finally pulling out of you and laying next to you, your pussy clenching around nothing now as cum drips out of you, making a mess on your sheets. You can only hum in agreement as you turn, resting your leg on top of his as his arm slides under your neck. "You alright, Princess? I didn't break you, did I?" He asks, concerned. You shake your head, still not able to form words, earning a hearty laugh from him. "Did you get fucked silly, Princess? Well, next time, be careful what you wish for. Rest up a little. I'm not done with you yet." He smirks. What the hell did you get yourself into?
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unknwnxquantity · 4 years
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There’s this girl I had a thing with. We helped each other get over our situations and vent about our exes, this pain we felt from both our situations. I kinda just used her in the beginning to process my back and forth rollercoaster with my ex, while she genuinely cared for me as a person, even if it was just being my friend. I used her and hurt her. But we had this connection thru txt that was one of the most bizzare things Ive encountered: in the beginning of our txting it was as if I was talking back to myself; like I was her and typed out each response. Over the course of a little over a month, we went from me always ghosting her and talking to her when it was convenient, to her getting fed up with my excuses and basically said in so many words, “listen this is the last time I’m gonna try with u but I wanna hook up, u have until 7 tonight to respond back about what u wanna do.” And so... we hooked up in her car. Four hours into the night, until 330am.
Hooking up with her, we’ll call her IR, was a healing experience. My ex and I weren’t intimate for months and months until we broke up. She didn’t like sex, and I guess she was so hurt she just couldn’t trust me with her body the way she did before in our relationship. But since IR and I were both broken from our past confusions and circumstances with our exes, we just wanted to be friends with benefits. But being with someone in that way, the way our bodies fit like puzzle pieces, cuddling, opening up about some of our pasts, fully naked.. and just engaging on such a passionate experience, mind u this was the first time we ever met up... it did something to me. Being intimate snapped me out of the spiral i was going down with the ending of my ex and our situation. I felt really warm inside when I was with IR in those moments. And she felt the same too in her own way.
From then on we saw each other like multiple times in one week, like 6 times in total. Everything moved so quick, my feelings got so intense so... fukking fast. As did her feelings for me. We talked on the phone until 6am several nights, she’d come outside my house @12 or 1am and be hooking up until 3 to one time even 6am (I got in trouble but it was worth it). I met some of her family, she met mine (except my sister bc u gotta be real special to meet her) and came over to my house. I went to her sister’s place in upstate New York; 3 hr drive each way listening/jamming to throwbacks, holding hands, learning more of the other, runnin thru sprinklers.. she even thinks I’m her twin flame (she doesn’t fully understand the concept but I do feel a soul connection to her so I didn’t wanna shut her or the idea of that down), but the relationship she had with her ex made me think otherwise. We wrote each other two letters each to the other, both very descriptive, but with my second letter alluding to the possibility of me being in love with her. IN LOVEEE?! I mean.. I do feel intensely and reevaluating the things I said, I could see the confusion.. but she didn’t even wanna tell me unless I dragged an answer out of her?? She was being distant after that.. and also because things got too serious too quick, us professing strong feelings to each other.. and since the foundation of our friendship surrounded our feelings toward our exes, I had to really ask her “hey.... r u truly over ur ex?” And... she wasn’t. Here I was repeating the same fukking patterns. Jumping into something with someone so intensely , so fukking fast and not taking it slow; how do u expect different results by repeating the same fukking destructive patterns? My feelings were so confusing and complex for her, so deep yet kinda shallow. Like I wanted to fit her into this box of the person I wanted her to be in my life. I overromantize a lot and get so fukking attached. And then they fucking push me away bc I scared them too much. When I feel someone pushing me away, I have this overpowering fear to pull them right back in super hard. That never fukkin works out it just makes them lose mad respect for u and think ur a fucking joke or safe option (subconsciously). She felt for me but in her mind she felt I felt too much too soon, and she wasn’t prepared for such a shift. Neither was I but then here we were being intimate every single time we were with each other and holding hands.. cuddling. Kissing. Exploring. Inside jokes & synchronicities. I’m the first person to make her cum out of the ten bodies she’s had! I’m the first girl she’s been with, and she even revealed she sticks to what’s comfortable; which in her case is asshole men. I can’t hookup with anyone without developing deep feelings. I can’t separate the two AT ALL. Sex and intimacy is sacred, how do ppl fukk causally and not develop feelings?
Anyways in the end, IR chose to work things out with the ex bc she would’ve regretted it if she didn’t give him one last chance “like I kept giving my ex”. And that didn’t even last long, only like 4-5 days before he put his hands on her and they got in a big argument lmao. I don’t have those strong feelings anymore, but damn do I still wanna be her friend? Or do I like her? But she’s so cringe?? Lol idk.. I wanna talk to her tho. I really do but without feeling used or like a second option. She said I’m not , but I’ve learned, peoples words ain’t shit if it isn’t backed up by actions. I’ve already started sending her things even after asserting I wanted to be more than friends, nothing more and needed some space, but now I just wanna be friends.. she just wasn’t keeping me in the loop with her whole ex situation until I confronted her about it and I hate that shit. She always emphasized honesty!! And loving to call people out on their shit! But god forbid I do the same. I went back on my word even when I tried to place strong boundaries. I had to place them again with her when she told me about the recent situation where her ex got physical with her.. this is all just new to me.
I need to let time pass.. maybe it’s because she was the closest thing to a relationship I’ve felt to someone since my ex. I’m trying to really focus on healing myself, especially since all the other girls I was talking to didn’t work out or I wasn’t feeling them anymore. I feel I gotta be single for a long time, but I want her in my life, especially since she feels the connection too and wants to be friends. But is it disrespectful toward myself, like would I just be an easy go-to option? I don’t think she’s done done with the ex. Maybe she is.. I shouldn’t care tho. I need to be alone. Even tho I’ve been sending her stuff on ig and snap, I went back on my word by still contacting her only two weeks after this big thing took place where I found out she thought I was in love with her. I always see the good in ppl; their potential for greatness and to reach that. She’s on that spiritual path as I am with angel numbers, loa, manifestation and the signs/laws of the universe.. but am I just holding onto what was had in the past and not being realistic about the now? Did we ruin our potential by being engaged so soon? This whole thing happened in the span of two and a half months, with our friendship escalating in that past month and it ending like 2-3 weeks ago. Can I even be her friend at this point?? Does she even still think about our connection or has she moved on? I guess I’ll see, I’m just tryna make sense of it all.
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nogloryinlove · 5 years
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hi do you have any advice for making friends as a college student/someone in an unfamiliar place?
hello bub!!!! well i’ll be completely honest and say i’m not really the best person in the world to ask - i find myself being very anxious in unfamiliar situations, and especially so when i’ve had time to turn it over in my head a million times before, overthinking what shouldn’t be a big deal objectively.
but i do think i’ve gotten a lot better at it throughout college, so i think i’ll just share on what helps me personally??? im so sorry this got rly long and rambly jdshfhjsdb also i focused more on like a college setting bc thats where i usually meet new people but for some of these u could apply it anywhere ig
1) so. not to be like that but u rly just gotta. submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known lmaodsfjhsdj. speaking to people in whatever context just involves u taking the first step and saying something. my go-to conversation starters are always (a) compliments (b) a question abt the class like “do you actually know what we have to do for the midterm?” (c) a question in general like “what other classes are you taking this semester?” 
usually that gives u some material to talk about (fashion, the material in the diff classes, etc), so just go from there! there WILL be awkward silences, its inevitable. and ur gonna hate it. but stick thru it, bc hey! think about all the dearest people in your life right now. it was mostly awkwardness at the start when u met them too :-)
2) try to go to social things with a friend! i know this can be silly advice when u literally don’t know anyone but like maybe get a roommate / classmate who might be interested in whatever said social thing is. like if its a dorm mixer, ask your roommates / housemates etc if they’d be up for going, like just “hey i think so-and-so mentioned this thing, do you maybe wanna go together?” and honestly people are usually up for it. and when u get there, join in conversations as a pair/small group - it makes it less intimidating! and bounce around different groups. eventually (hopefully) you’d find some u rly vibe with. 
3) and when ur like in a social setting, try to stay, even if you’d much rather be alone and in ur own comfort zone. some people make socializing / making friends look so easy but i promise for most people its not! everyone in that room is kinda nervous on the inside, as are u. staying thru things just increases ur chances of meeting people and finding someone u can connect with. oh yeah and sometimes i offer to help clean up after an event or whatever - and thats actually where u get to meet the really nice ones tbh! 
4) if you have smth you’re passionate about, push yourself to join clubs, interest groups that relate to that passion. i know that feeling of a student life fair all too well when ur like afraid to approach anyone but u just gotta do it. its a really easy way to find people who share your interests.
5) truly truly just make urself believe that people are not out to get u. they’re not going to make fun of u. i’ve had to repeat this to myself all the time bc Social Anxiety but once u make urself believe it u can relax a little and thats where u can talk a bit more, laugh a little, and really get to know the other person.
good luck bb! im rooting for u 🌹
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babe.... bAbe..... u can’t give them the Good Dad Rog shit and the. not follow up with the hot space angst.................... it’s what the people Deserve
i copied this verbatim from our chats so like, if its choppy that’s why. also, this is like….part 1 of what is really 85 pages of hc’s all about hot space so like…more to come??? sorry for the angst
it begins with brian having cheated on chrissie
and dom, who is pregnant with baby #5, takes Offense to it
basically dom gets chrissie her divorce and sets her up with crystal, who has always had a Thing for her
and while in the middle of handling this shit because dom is kickass, dom comes to the decision that Brian Is Wrong and Needs To Be Taught A Lesson
so she convinces ronnie to her side and is like, we do not interact with brian for as long as it takes for him to realize he fucked up
so basically hot space is such shit because dom and ronnie are like for however long you support brian we will not have sex with either of you
like you want to be there for him? fine but your hands gonna be there for you instead of us
john immediately is like good luck brian hope you figure your shit out
kinda backfires actually
roger and john are like uhhhhh
well this is a shame certainly bc we love u
but also
ig we…. gotta fuck each other
Oh No
they’re so smug about it until they receive an envelope from home
its pictures of both women together in various positions
john gives in first but roger is annoyingly stubborn when he wants to be
And that’s why John don and Ronnie all get to go to Bali
they come back
And roger has moved out
and he’s like. uh. can i? am i allowed to see the kids
and they’re like wait what?
and they’re like OF COURSE WHY DID YOU MOVE OUT???
and he’s like. you uh. u said? that if i stuck with brian that we were like. done. and like brian’s a fuckhead and chrissie deserved none of what he did but uhhhhh he’s also like. my best friend and he’s going thru some shit even if it’s self inflicted u know and um. you guys have each other i guess so like i knew you’d be okay but i just.
i’d really like to be able to see the kids
and fucking miami ends up at the door
with all the NDA’s and legal shit they sorted out
like ok so, here’s how separation is going to work
and they’re like wait no no no we just–we were just upset???
but roger is like but you threatened to end our relationship and withhold sex unless i give in to what you guys want and i’m sorry but i…i can’t do that
and miami is literally like you. you all. left. and you took the kids with you. you left a NOTE
what the fuck did u think he was going to think?
and they’re like WE TOLD HIM WHERE WE WERE
WE THOUGHT HE’D COME
miami is like
“bali” is not an invitation 
 like no you thought you could manipulate him into bending to your way
that doesn’t COUNT
miami is Team Roger
which is how they know They Fucked Up
and roger just kneels down before their little army of kids and gives them giant hugs and is like no matter what i will always love you guys
and then miami like takes him outside and is like i will take you all for everything he’s owed
and roger goes and lives with freddie
brian ofc has NO IDEA any of this is even fucking happening
maybe thats when roger starts The Cross
and its all angsty heartbroken shit and Johns like HE’S QUIT THE BAND
and the three of them are like shit
we do not work together without roger
miami ends up being like the weird go between who picks up the kids for their weekends with roger
and they beg miami for information
and miami is like you do not deserve to know how he is
and crystal is like look, i get that you’re supporting my girlfriend but now you’ve hurt my best friend and my boss like…do you understand how your actions have fucked me???
and roger isn’t really? doing well? but he also know he can’t afford to fall apart because if he goes to shit there’s an excuse for him to not be able to see the kids???? and like he doesn’t wanna think they’d do that??? but he only has legal rights to like. three of them.
and the thought of never getting to see all of his kids keeps him up at night and he spends a lot of time drinking
like a lot a lot
and he writes all the kids letters from where he’s holed up working on the cross and he makes it sound like hes! doing! so! well! on! his! own!
the kids get little gifts delivered? like all the time
bc he’s always thinking of them and he has the money to just.. send them trinkets
ugh ok so they’re separated for a while then like. just under a year maybe?
rog moves out of fred’s after two months
when it becomes apparent that uh
this isn’t
he gets his own little shitty house
this might be for Real
and he tries to get one with rooms for each of the kids
and when they come to visit he’s like look here’s something for you and bunkbeds for the twins that aren’t twins and a pool and maybe we can get a dog?
but the kids just want to pile into bed with him
but one of them like is crying? and john’s like whats wrong? and she’s lke do you think papa is lonely in his big house who’s going to cuddle him at night he’s all alone
and johns like……….. fuck
 like not only have we broken the best relationship we’ve ever been in but we have broken our children too
the kids asking roger in the big puppy pile in his bed and he’s like well i cuddle you all SO MUCH while your here that it it keeps me warm even when you go home
that why i hug you all as soon as i see you!!!! i need a top up of your love!!!! gotta keep me toastie warm :)
and freddie is a fucking liar he’s like roger is doing BETTER THAN EVER he is so FUCKING HAPPY NOW and hes like ROGER IS THIRTY FLIRTY AND THRIVING AND YOU GUYS ARE MISSING OUT ON HOW HOT HE LOOKS NOW
like POST BREAK UP HE’S TONED AND FIT AND HE LOOKS AWESOME
flash to roger sitting on the floor of the kitchen in his boxers without a shirt on just sobbing into a pint of rocky road ice cream
roger: vaguely emaciated, surviving on cigarettes and gin and tonics
he hasn’t shaved but the man can’t grow a beard so its jsut ugly patches of hair
but!!! like the other three really only see him when the kids are around and??? yeah??? he looks good!
because no one can KNOW because as far as he’s concerned they didn’t want him
like he’s dressed nicely. he’s lost a bit of weight but well he’s hit his thirties so maybe not the Worst thing even if they did Love His Pudge
and he would never ever ever scare the kids by showing them how he looks
freddie’s like oh yeah roger’s GREAT
SO BRILLIANT
and you can’t tell he doesn’t sleep and has massive bags under his eyes because that is the dawn of the prescription sunglasses
TRIED TO HAVE HIM AROUND FOR SCRABBLE THE OTHER DAY BUT HES JUST GO GO GO THESE DAYS
freddies like you should hear the songs he’s written like that stuff is GOD
(the songs are just him weeping over a guitar track)
cut to the other day: freddie and roger playing scrabble for thirteen hours in between crying jags
the next day: chess, but the pieces are shot glasses
freddie is like in bed next to jim like i dunno how much more alcohol we can drink i’m running out of ways to make him drunk enough to forget
so jim makes him garden with him bc it gets him out of the house so he even gets a TAN but they just drink SO MUCH WHISKEY
 then ronnie and dom and john are like look at him he’s golden tan he looks gorgeous
  but the kids are like DAD HAS A STRAWBERRY PATCH!!!! AND WE PLANTED SUNFLOWERS TOGETHER
 and jim is like he’s only evenly tanned because when he passed out in the garden i rolled him over so his back would get tan too
  and yeah they’re like??????????? he looks so good????
and miami lowkey thinks hes helping but he is NOTbecause every time he sees him he’s like okay we can get you think much from your combined fortunes and the beach house and i can make it so you have custody of your legal kidsroger: they’re ALL MY KIDS MIAMI
but rogers mainly like i’m not gonna separate any of the kids that’s????? no. like. they belong as a family
 even if i’m not……. part of that family….. any more…….
 roger is like look i just want to be able to see them. i won’t take them form their parents and miami is like roger..you’re their parent too
 and roger is like no i’m just like, their uncle now?
 like i’m not in that family they made i clear that i am not allowed
A N Y W A Y S
 ronnie is the one who sorta caves first
 she’s lke look we started this and i kinda pushed for us to end it so i’m gonna fix it
 john wont bc of the band dynamics, dom is top aware that it could splinter the group back into two couples, ronnie is really the only one who can
 yeah and ronnie sorta. just shows up at his house in the middle of the night
 and like (luckily for him) he’s just got in from a thing for the cross
 so he Doesn’t look fucking awful
 but he’s also fucking exhausted so he opens the door and is like FUCK are the kids okay!!! shit!!!! dom??? john???
 and ronnie’s like everyone’s fine i just. i missed you?
 and roger’s like. he’s so tired he’s just like ronnie….. i can’t do this right now. you can’t. you can’t just show up here
 that’s not fair.
 and ronnie’s like…. well. she wasn’t sure how she was really expecting it to go because. yeah. they’re literally not been within about 50m from one another in fucking months
 but she was. hoping at least for an “i miss you too”
 but roger’s like. it’s really late, i’m… gonna go to bed. i really, really cannot do this right now. i’ll see the kids on friday.
 and so ronnie goes home and bawls her eyes out to john and dom who are…. also kinda shook?
 like. they were NOT expecting roger to turn her away like that, that’s… yeah. but like roger has been mostly by himself this whole time. like they’ve had one another but he’s. just been sorta trying to learn to keep his head above water by himself again and. it was actually a dick move showing up there unannounced. like, they basically left him with little to no warning they can’t just try and walk back in the door y’know?????
 and anyway on friday miami comes to pick up the kids and ronnie is like uhhh i’m coming with
 and miami is like uh. disrespectfully speaking? you fucking are not
 and she’s like oh :) ur not taking my kids then
 which. is just. another bad move? tbh
 miami is like. right. fine. can i use ur phone to call the other father of ur children to tell him that one of their mothers won’t let him see them
 and ronnie is like go right a fuckin head
 and dom and john are sorta there like ronnie ronnie wtf are u doing ronnie
 but ronnie’s like nah i’m calling his (miami’s) bluff
 and dom is like no, uh, roger can have the kids
 but. miami calls
 and ronnie is like not mine he can’t its all or nothing
 he’s stood there in their parlour
 and like obviously they can only hear his side of the conversation
 dead eyeing ronnie like i fucking hold this band together out of sheer will
 i can outlast you no matter what
 Miami: Hi Rog, Miami. Yeah, yeah, the kids are fine. I’m at your old place right now, actually. No, yeah. No. Well, actually, Rog. Veronica says you can’t have the kids this week. No, she didn’t say anything to me about it before. No, no. I’m sorry, Rog. I know, I’m so sorry. She hasn’t said anything about next week yet. Yeah. Yeah. It’s alright, it’ll be alright. We’ll work something out. I’ll come right around, okay? Alright. Okay. I’ll let them know. Yeah, I promise. Just like you said. Won’t change a word. See you in a bit.
 and ronnie is like what did he want you to say to us?!!!!
 and miami just straight up blanks her and dom and john
 and walks into the living room where the kids are, all ready to go
 and is like hey rugrats!
 (which is totes rogers nickname for them)
 and they’re all like!!!! uncle miami!!!!! are we going to see papa now???
 Veronica is like ho don’t you fucking say it
 and he’s like i’m really sorry guys (and ronnie goes to interrupt but he stops her) but daddy has the flu
 and the kids are like!!!! oh no!!!!
 and he’s like so you can’t go see him this week :( he’s really really upset about it, and he HOPES he’ll be better next week because he misses all his little nuggets so much
 and the eldest is like???? but!!!! our hugs keep daddy warm!!! if he’s sick he needs to be warm he can’t be cold!!! who’s going to recharge his cuddles???
 and miami is like well he said if you all hug each other reaaaaally right he can feel it! so long as you all keep giving each other lots of hugs he’ll keep tight and cosy
 and he goes to leave and is like to the three of them like…. i cannot believe that you are actually doing this. i didn’t know you could be so cruel
 and off he trots
 and ronnie is like. fuck
 fuck
 FUCK
 and the other three would be like ronnie what…what the fuck was that???
they end up having…. a huge fight over it
 like giant
 like “hi chrissie can you take the kids for a couple of days” fight
 and chrissie is like uh…. i can take a few? but crystal is.     away
 work emergency
 and johns like????? queens on a break????????????
 and dom’s like???? ROGER, JOHN. ROGER IS THE EMERGENCY
so they’re like trying to find babysitters so they can fight it out but also maybe go to roger??? 
 because the work emergency is code for roger is trying to destroy himself via alcohol poisoning
 like miami knows the second he hung up that roger as going to just drown himself in whisky
 so he used a payphone to call freddie and crystal
 and is like i don’t care what you have to do or how you do it but you need to be at roger’s yesterday
 but brian isn’t looking after their fucking kids
freddie isn’t home
 and jim has heard what they did
 and hes like that was fucking cruel
 crystal isn’t home
 miami is gone
 fucking RATTY doesn’t pick up
 phoebe straight up was like freddie told me if i watched hte kids he’d kill me
 he was like i am not even allowed to be speaking with you thank you and goodnight
so they call mary and they’re like please mary
and mary is like as far as i’m concerned if you’re that worried about roger watching his own fucking children i do not know why you would call me as the better option
like fuck you you think roger can’t be with his kids and now you want to DUMP THEM ON ME??? “and anyway, i’m just stopping at home for the booze i have here. we’ve all been banned from the liquor stores with in a ten mile radius of…… a place.”
 eventually they manage to scrounge enough family members on john and ronnie’s respective sides
 but it. genuinely takes like over a day
 everyone is either straight up just not answering or, if they are at home, not willing to step in
[meanwhile miami is on the fucking warpath he is like you wanna play chicken? i’ll roast you for dinner VERONICA he’s writing up a custody agreement so tight it will tie them up in court for years like he sits down at roger’s kitchen table while roger is profusely vomiting up all the alcohol he had and then some and he’s like they’re gonna fucking pay
he’s getting the kids and the houses and over half the money and the royalties and here is a list of available bass players because HE GETS THE BAND TOO]
 but yeah john ronnie and dom end up having a giant, fuck off, end all fight
and dom is like. u realise we just took his fucking kids away right
 and johns like for fuck sake chrissie is FINE do you really think she wanted me to tank my career and for all of us to blow up our entire family because of her????
 but the problem is. it’s BIGGER than the chrissie thing now
 johns like she knew what she was getting into and she knew he was a cheater when they were fuckign dating
but really it was like, six different fights that all boiled over in the name of Chrissie’s Honor and then
the biggest thing is that like, 
 when they were in bali
 they did fully think roger would come
 and but then he didnt and the spent 3 weeks getting angrier and angrier at the situation and him and brian and it spiraled into this black ugly mess of shit
 and they didn’t realize how vital roger was to keeping them together like he’s the fun dad so the kids have been acting out more becasue he’s not there to get them to blow off steam
(plus like, the kids just lost their dad??? like he doesn’t live there anymore he’s at a different house and that is big)
 and he’s the peace keeper (surprising despite his tempter but everyone else like stews he’s the only one who’s like lets talk it out)
 and he makes them all coffee in the morning so they’re all vaguely caffeine deprived
 and now ronnie has fucked it all TWICE first by showing up and then by TAKING HIS KIDS and dom was like when we had baby#2 and it was clearly rogers we promised him we SWORE that he would never ever ever take them away from him
 like we said that as long as he was their papa that was IT he was their father and we would never ever take that from him
 and ronnie’s like i didn’t MEAN IT he should KNOW I WOULD NEVER MEAN THAT
 and johns like. ok. but uh. how would he know
 bc
 i mean. we sorta
 did take his kids away from him
 when we went to bali
 when we went to bali for a month
 and again
 and then
 now
 five days of the week
 and now?
 i mean
 we have been… slowly taking the kids away from him
 three weeks ago we made him give them back a day early so that we could do to the beach
 bc we could only do it…. as a family…. on the weekend
 and then two of the little ones (one of which is his) was sick and we kept them home
 because. him seeing his kids is inconvenient to us
 and we had them on the actual day of his birthday
which you know is his favorite day of the year because the kids make him breakfast in bed and wake him up singing happy birthday
 so. us just pulling the plug isn’t… really all that unrealistic is it?
 and dom and ronnie sort of get defensive and backing each other up
dom is like no!! we have NOT!!
and ronnie like how dare you
 and johns like. ok. but see this is the problem
 this was the problem in bali too
 like its us vs. him
 we all get caught up in defending ourselves
 when he’s NOT HERE TO DEFEND HIMSELF
 that everything we do seems right
 and he should… just be grateful?
 to have us?
 to see the kids?
 and that we have proven that if he doesn’t agree with us he doesn’t haveus?
 like originally it was just sex yeah
 but then it was clear that you wouldnt budge
 and neither would he and why should he have brian has been there for him longer than he’s even known me
 like brian is terrible for cheating but he’s roger’s brother and we literally made him choose his family and when he wouldn’t
 we chose for him
 and, as we’ve established, chrissie is FINE
 and a grown woman
 and roger knew that better than any of us because crystal was filling him in on EVERYTHING
 she probably didn’t fucking need the two of you, and then me, ripping apart our family, the band, and the various social circles we run in
 or even WANT us to do that
 and dom’s like……. i really miss him
 i’ve been trying really hard not to
 bc it’s easier to be angry
 and i didn’t want it to seem like i love him more than you guys
 because i know it can be hard sometimes like not falling into those couple-y behaviours
 and i didn’t want to do that
 but i really really miss him
 but like, roger is my first
 he is my first real love and i love you both so much but he’s my roger
and. it’s been really hard watching [youngest] hit milestones and rogers not here to see them
 (and they tried to be nice and send videos and pictures but its not the same!!
so they just stopped telling him hoping that the kid would do it there and roger would think it was the first time
but that just made roger feel like they didn’t care enough about him
to be like oh hey your kid’s walking sucks that you had to learn form the older kid insead of the other parents)
 and dom’s like. and it’s made worse because. he wouldn’t have let this happen if it was one of us
 and john is like. uh
 and ronnie’s like fuck. no. ur right. he wouldn’t have
 dom’s like. right back at the beginning he was always saying that he’d make sure we were all involved in the kids lives no matter what that this wouldn’t happen he wouldn’t let it
 and we did it to him
 and ronnie is like. how the fuck do we fix this
 bc shit like that. like their youngest hitting milestones???? like that feels like something they stole from him bc they can’t give that back
 for like the first time john actually cries
 and is like what have we done
 and yeah. the fight just sorta ends with all three of them in tears and just. sort of silent
 because maybe that was the biggest issue
 because. what the fuck
 because chrissie was pregnant and maybe dom was pregnant and they were like imagine this was us
 and we got cheated on
 and so when the whole Bali Thing happens the kid is like maybe 6 months?
 so roger genuinely misses over half of this kids life
and kidlet just. doesn’t have the same bond with him???
 because there’s so little you can be there for when you get every weekend 
 and roger knows
 but the other three don’t because they haven’t seen him with the kids?
 but the kid just cries the whole weekend and wants his “daddy”
 kidlet isn’t really comfy around roger and neither, really, is their second youngest who is withdrawing
 and roger is just like???? these are my KIDS
 and the second youngest is roger’s
 and i’m a STRANGER to them
 and he tries so hard! but the other problem is like, we have so many kids
 and i am one person
 like he is stretched so thin
so he can only do so much like if hte baby is crying he has to take care of the baby sorry oldest ones i can’t go play outside with you
and the three of them just realize, like, what have we done???
cut to roger’s house he’s just lying on the floor not even crying just laying there his bedroom is ruined because he hung up with miami and just trashed it
and is laying on his floor like i want to die here
john calls while the Roger Stomach Pumping Emergency Squad are on day three of their duties
 and crystal picks up which is. it’s not the BEST he could have hoped for, which would have been freddie, but it’s the second best bc crystal still nominally works for him
 (crystal is like i’m gonna fucking quit like i will take the cross to the NEXT LEVEL even if i have to KILL JOHN TO DO IT)
 and johns like ok this is. i’m just calling to say that i’m going to come around tomorrow? i’ll be there are 12. i’m not asking for permission, but i’m just calling to give you a heads up. to give roger a heads up
 and so. they uh. sober roger up. do their best to make him somewhat presentable? (does not work. he refuses to shave or shower or get changed out of his Depression Pajamas. he swills some mouthwash, they call it a win)
(depression pajamas are john’s pants and the joke shirt ronnie and dom bought him for his birthday years ago thats like save a drum bang a drummer)
 and then. they go upstairs, just leaving miami downstairs except he’s Not Allowed To Talk
 he is there, strictly, as roger’s legal representation
 miami just holds all the papers for legal divorce and separation the papers that are going to FUCK THEM UP if roger says so
 and john shows up and he’s like. oh. um. this isn’t. this isn’t really a legal talk?????? and miami is like yes well y’all do have a history of Technical Kidnapping so
 can’t be too careful 🙃
 and roger just. doesn’t give a shit
 he’s like miami can you shut the fuck up
 like what the fuck do you think johns going to do that’s worse than break up with me and refuse to let me see my kids?
 what, have you all gangbanged my mum too? just for a giggle?
 and john is like. uh. no. winnie is. un-gangbanged. as far as i know.
 and rog is like well there you go, everything appears to be Just As Shit as it was yesterday and no worse
 and johns like look. i just. ronnie honestly didn’t mean that you couldn’t see the kids, not at all. she just. she just wanted to see you and the kids were… leverage? sort of? which sounds awful
 and roger is like. yeah. that sounds pretty fucking awful, actually
 and he’s like where’s my alcohol and miami is like as your legal representative and your medical emergency contact i must advise you not to drink anymore as i do not believe your liver will survive
 (miami [visibly jots down john calling the children leverage])
 but yeah rogers like. well. here i fucking am.
 and johns like. this is all. it’s all fucked up. we love you? we never stopped loving you? this has all spiralled way out of control. the girls were just mad about chrissie and
 and roger is like?? do u think i give a FUCK about chrissie???? none of this was EVER about chrissie on my side. this was about the three of you deciding that our relationship with acceptable fucking collateral for you to throw about to win arguments and get me to do what you wanted
 [miami in the corner scribbling it all down]
 that’s now how relationships fucking work, john. and i never thought you’d take my children away from me for it.
 and johns like. i know. i’m sorry, we’re sorry. it honestly just grew out of control. when we were in bali we thought you would come and then it would have been fine, but you didn’t and we got angry and
 and rogers like?!! i didn’t do what u wanted so you ran away with my children for a month
 i couldn’t have come even if i WANTED to
 “gone to bali” is not a fucking address, john
 (and the thing is when they wrote that? it was tongue in cheek. it was a “come find us”. but, well. that didn’t work out as intended, did it?)
 like they thought of course roger would like, call miami to find them or hell ratty or something like they all have the same credit cards they could figure it out…right?
 and johns like. i’m sorry. can you. would you be…. interested? in talking to all three of us? we love you, and we miss you. we want to try and save this
 and roger is like i dont know
 i don’t know if it can be saved
 and well. that’s enough to get a foot in the door because.    his kids. roger would grin and bear his way thru 16 and a half years of painful awkwardness on his part of it means he gets to be with his kids as they grow
 but he’s not saying yes
 he’s saying he’ll talk to all three of them together
 but miami will be there
 and miami is like 💅
 and so they set a date for the next monday
 and this time roger is wearing like. a fucking suit, he’s all scrubbed up
 and they’re like???????? what the fuck
 (john totally went home and told the other three how terrible he looked)
 but this time like. it’s…. it’s make or fucking break like if they walk out of this and he can’t see it being salvaged then… that’s it
 he’ll be giving them the (kindest) separation and custody agreement’s that miami has drawn up
 miami has like three all drawn up and ready depending on how it goes
 one is niceish one is harsher and the last is scourged earth
 nice: they get half his assets, he gets friday evening-sunday afternoon and ¾ of all school holidays
harsh: ¼ assets (minus property and future royalty income from existing tracks), friday afternoon school pick up- sunday evening, and all school holidays apart from three days beginning and end, weekends, and potentially visitation right son Public Holidays (such as christmas day)
scourged earth: ½ present cash assets (nothing else), friday afternoon pick up - Tuesday morning drop off, all school holidays minus weekends (excepting public holidays. so if xmas day falls on a sunday? too fucking bad)
 miami is like i will wipe the board with you if he asks and i will not hesitate
 and he WILL be going to court to attempt to win rights to have ALL of the children involved in those custody agreements (miami thinks they have a case given how many interviews they’ve given over the years referencing how the children view each other as brother and sister)
 plus there’s like squatter’s/commonlaw rights
 yeah basically miami is. uh ready to destroy
 like roger is the common law parent because he has lived with these kids in that house for 7 years
 roger’s one request was just can i have enough to buy a house big enough for all the kids to come visit and can i just see them? like even if its once a month i just want to see them
 miami is like i gotchu fam you’re my favorite tell the others
 BUT YES SO roger is like i’m really just here to see if there’s anything to salvage.
 and like
 dom immediately bursts into tears
 she hasnt seen him in person since he LEFT
 and because??? how could there not be??????????
 dom is willing to give ANYTHING to fix it
 and ronnie is like. horrified. she keeps going to reach across the table to hold his hand before catching herself
 and she starts. she apologised for what happened the other day, for crossing that line
 and rogers like… it’s been coming for a while now
 because he always knew one day the kids would stop coming
 like either they wouldn’t let him see them
 or the kids wouldn’t want to come see the guy who was once their dad but now just has his own home
 like the two youngest already don’t want him
 so it makes sense
 yeah.
 and dom’s like… do you still love us?
 because i still love you
 and rogers like. i. i could never stop loving any of you???? but i also cant ever forget the past year and the things that have happened either
 That’s what makes it hurt the most is like I still love you?? I will always love you you’re the mothers of my children and John you’re their father like you’re raising my kids
 and johns like well. love is a start, yes?
 and roger’s like. yes. but i love my kids more, and. i spent the last year hoping we were just… going to work it out. that this was going to stop, but it hasn’t. it’s got worse. and i suppose it’s a good thing that you did what you did last week because instead of the kids being slowly taken away from me and me having to accept it over time, it happened all at once and i can’t take that. i Won’t take that again. and so now i know that if this isn’t going to work out that i am Going to have a relationship with my kids, if i have to fight you all in the courts for it
 and ronnie’s like we’re not? we’re not going to fight you
 and miami that sneaky bastard pulls out the SCORCHED EARTH custody agreement and is like so you’ll sign this?
 and dom’s like what the fuck is it?????? and he’s like custody agreement. in the event of your separation from roger, dominique, and/or his departure from the home you share with john and veronica he would be entitled, by contract, to have the children (ALL OF THEM, those children being those who were born between 1974 and 1983) from friday school pick up to tuesday morning school drop off, and the entirety of school holidays apart from weekends.
 and johns like fuck. that’s. a lot of time
 and roger is like? i haven’t had all of the children together in over a month
 and ronnie is like fuck. you haven’t, have you? there’s been….
 and miami picks up another piece of paper and starts listing off reasons
 Because he’s been picking them up and dropping them off and every single time one of them isn’t there he writes it down
 dentist appointment, flu, stomach bug, school trip, trip to the beach “as a family”
 They watch a roger visibly flinches at the “as a family” comment
 and dom just signs it. plucks it right out of johns hand who is trying to read it (or the first page) and flips to her page and signs
 and johns like fuck!! dom!!!
 and she’s like. roger wouldn’t ask us to sign anything that would be detrimental to the kids OR to us
 we used to fucking know that, john
 She’s like Roger is their father first and foremost and he has the right to as much time as he wants from them. If they miss us I will PERSONALLY but them their own phone line to call us but he gets as much time as he wants with them
 and like. john and ronnie aren’t going to sign, not without their lawyer there to check it out, but. that sign from dom? is enough to get roger to agree to try
 to agree that maybe there’s something to salvage there
 Even if it’s just with dom
 Because she was like I have faith in this man and I do not plan on ever losing him again so I’ll sign anything because it’ll never come down to it
 Yeah because. well. he can live with that if it means he gets his kids
 he can live with knowing that he’s not wholly Wanted in this relationship
 if he’s… wanted a little bit and he gets to watch his kids grow up every day
 it’s 16 and a half years
 that’s doable
 He will do what he needs to for his kids
 he loves those rugrats so fucking much
 he stays at home SO MUCH for the next like. year. bc he is BUILDING that relationship with the youngest two
 Like the rest of the break? Is because roger will not leave the house
 He is like nope not working I’m with the nuggets
 And Freddie is like bring them to the studio just come
 Like it’s just him with the kiddos
 Writing and trying to get his babies to love him again
 And he’s like I’m never leaving you ever again
 That first tour? Is ROUGH
 like it is hard for roger to leave and he almost is like I can’t do it I can’t leave them what if they forget me again??
 Which just adds to the angst because they did that to him
they made him doubt that his kids really love him
so then like, fast forward six-eight months???
oh my god even when they get back together? and get comfy with one another to start having sex again (which takes A WHILE) roger is suddenly. really adamant about using condoms
ugh he’d be sneaky about the condom thing at first too. like. he distracts them? clever fingers, clever mouth, encouraging them to help each otherlike it takes. a Distressing amount of time before finally dom is like I Want You To Fuck Meand that’s when That Whole Thing goes down 
she’s like c'mon like how we used to
and roger is like uhhhhh i can’t do that
because you might get uh, pregnant
and the other three can’t think of anything better like yes this will reunite us
an roger can’t think of anything worse because the thought of losing another baby?? he wouldn’t, uh, he wouldn’t survive that
and they’re like????? look if u slept with someone else like. ok that…. hurts. but. get tested and if ur clean it’s fine
and rogers like. no
that’s not the problem
dom has straight up a breakdown about it when she realises what the issue is
because roger is GOOD with kids
roger LOVES babies
but he’s like i do not want to have babies with you because i cannot guarantee that you won’t take the baby from me again
and roger is just sitting here uncomfortable
while dom weeps and john and ronnie are like what the uck is going on
but. he’s not. he’s not comfortable? this doesn’t feel like a family he’s 
building for keeps anymore
not really
it feels like something that can, might, will be taken away
he’s like look we can call it what we want but i get it i’m here for sex
and that’s great!! i love sex!! but i’m not going ot risk it
and the baby starts crying and roger sorta. automatically goes to get up before being like. oh. uh. it’s probably better if one of you goes. she. she’s not comfortable around me, she won’t settle if i go in
its not fair to the kids (because that’s who he’s really messed up over)
like they were so upset and it’s not fair to have them have to like, be separated form their homes and from their parents
roger is just so natural around the kids?
like u honestly wouldn’t even notice that he’d been gone
he slips right back in
he’s a bit distant for a few days, learning the new routines, new schedules, new favourites, new dislikes
but once he’s got it? he’s back in there
but just. flinching away from the casual touches that pass between the four of them
 so later dom fucks john and forgets a condom and has a pregnancy scare
 and roger is like. weirdly……. fine
 and dom is like??????? what the hell ur ok with this??? if i am pregnant?
 and roger is like…… i haven’t decided yet
 and dom’s like wtf do u mean? and he’s like. it would be a dick move of me to just leave ig. so perhaps we could separate but i’d stay living here in a separate room from the three of you?
 and ronnie is like? those are the only two options for you
 we’ve been back together for like eight months
 and rogers like? and we were separated for over a year
i’m still not sure if this is real
AND THEN
freddie calls john one night like. a month or so after the condom revelation (which they’ve all been. sorta sadly going along with? like it ruins the mood a little bit each time bc it’s a reminder that something’s a little bit broken here), and is like. look. i. i really shouldn’t be telling you this? but i think he’ll end up regretting it because i. god knows WHY but i have faith that you guys are all gonna pull thru this. but rog’s munich trip next week for the cross? yeah he’s booked in for a vasectomy.like he wouldn’t say anything because he doesn’t want them to make it a Big Deal
 and they’re SO UPSET but they’re like we can’t tell him not to because…if he wants to, he wants to
So when he comes back from munich 
 they think he had a vasectomy
 John is like how does one check for that?? Does his penis look different???
 Does his sperm taste different?? How would we know???
but one night he just goes to ronnie Just bends her right over and is like let’s do this and it’s the hottest sex they’ve had
 like they have INSANELY HOT SEX and they’re all. laying there. happy and sated. rog is curled up in the middle super asleep and the three of them are just all wide awake staring at the ceiling like huh. what feels weird
and then they realize and they’re like he didn’t use a condom so that means…..
:(
 and then they just PANIC
 Like ROGER
 ROGER YOUR CONDOM
 and he’s like oh my godddd shut up i’ve gotta be up for swimming lessons in like. five hours oh my god
 and ronnie is like maybe he did maybe he didn’t but like YES YOUR SWIMMERS ARE THE ISSUE RIGHT NOW
 THEY MIGHT BE SWIMMING
 IN ME
 ROGER
 and roger is like is…that a problem??? 
 and like they’re panicked bc!!!! he REALLY didn’t want any more kids!!!! they don’t wanna fuck with that they’re finally in a good place again!!!!!
and roger is like, sorry, guess i should have talked to you guys about having another kid???
 but ye he’s. secure again. and their youngest is like. older now. he misses babies. and also miami still got all the old paperwork
and they’re like wait….so you didn’t get the vasectomy??? 
and roger is like lol no
so like, oops, ronnie, you uh, might be uh…pregnant
and they all just sort of fall on top of him because while they’re still not perfect
it’s a start
they have like, five more kids afterwards
also
 veronica, the trooper, still having fucking babies into the mid 90s
 god bless her
 Veronica’s uterus is the real MVP
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firebuug · 5 years
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ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!
pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen
buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.
team: 
- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)
- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)
- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)
- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)
- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)
- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)
i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse
team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)
- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)
-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)
- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)
- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)
- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)
gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.
team:
- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)
- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi) 
- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it
- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)
- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)
- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)
- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)
farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.
team:
- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)
- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)
- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)
- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)
- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)
- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)
skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money
team:
- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far) 
- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)
- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)
- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)
- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)
- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)
okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!
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Hi princess! So imagine this lady who's always ALWAYS being negative abt her kids, never a kind word and only belittling, every other day, like "what did I do wrong really? What kind of kids have I raised? They're bla bla bla" with venom. And worst who doesnt acknowledge how negative + painful she is
When i try to talk to her nd ask her exactly whats the issue with 'me' or how can I help her to ease her burden as she keeps complaining how we're ungrateful or keeps comparing to other 'more acceptable in her eyes" children, she gets defensive nd won't answer properly. She says "ohhh, why don't U know that? arent u old enough to know?' and then starts ranting. when time after time ive begged her to clearly tell me, no passiv agressiveness please! it doesn't work nd i end up wondering why i even bother when im only the villain... Yes this ig is my role in her story that ive writen? confusing 😅
when I can, sometimes i try to help her even tho shes the sort who likes to stay busy so she'll find smth else to do lol, nd inside hope for her to be at least a little NOT negative today.... she either ignores or gets angrier nd goes all "hey, I didn't ask U to do that! How dare u act like u did me a favor! U think ur perfect while im just ur servant right?" when i never even intend that? i effing HATE negative reinforcement nd i feel so damn bad for her, nd shes taught me how negative reinforcement is the worst thing to use, cuz it never teaches anything only builds resentment!!
this is smth i realised that she cant be pleased, she wants to get attention what I mean is, whenever we spend time together, she is perfectly fine when we're talking abt her hobbies nd interests which tbh im NOT that interested in personally but since she likes them i like to discuss them with her nd help her out with projects. not to say "ohhh im so cool i help out with her projects look at me so kind of me! lol" its just it hurts when ur own mother doesn't even rpetend to care abt ur interests. i suspect deep down i carried this feeling of unworthiness ie if even my own mother doesn't care abt my hobbies/projects, no one will . which is why i feel so uncomfortable sharing anything personal to my rl friends cuz im so afraid theyll reject me too :(
By not caring i dont mean I expect her to listen nonstop to me. she has her own life but i mean she purposely zones out, rolls her eyes which HURT SM when i was a child, or even worst she says "im not interested" nd shuts the convo. again, at this point, idec anymore as ive learned slowly to value nd cherish my own value nd hobbies etc which is an important lesson anyway
the only thing i want is to stop her being so painfully negative LOUDLY. Yk I suspect becuz of her dwelling on whats wrong in her life, shes gotten severe numbness nd swelling in one arm? and even the doctors cant detect whats wrong! nd its hella painful nd she can't even lift it up sometimes!!!! THIS GOES ON TO SHOW HOW INNER CONSTANT NEGATIVITY CAN BE REFLECTED IN THE OUTER AKA OUR BODY!! To anyone else who cant help have negative thoughts ONLY, u gotta try to change them! Please! Bcuz my mother's pain in her arm is sometimes crazily too much! Nd this in turn, esp on days where all i hear is her gripe, its worse at night!
Anyway I was compeled to write this as a while ago i went to the kitchen for water nd from her room i heard her loudly complain nd mutter abt how her kids are "socially unacceptable" nd "dear god i pray please please don't let me rely on them in old age, i made a mistake raising them!" She's the sort whos got so many limiting beliefs that initially led to my deep unhappiness w/o knowng it was these beliefs at play eg if you dont become a certain career, youll have no security, or recently she keeps nd keeps lamenting abt not havjng 'enoufh money' (we r having kinda financial crisis due to some rlly terrible decisions by my other parent) or 'oh Im STUCK with this [bad word] family!" when she saw a movie abt someone who went on a trip nd began comparing her own life to it. She's so talented we all ask her to start an online business but she backs away nd says 'how will i ever get capital? im doomed to never have what i want' nd I myself have a bit empty wallet temporarily so i cant help her. Nyway, while im trying to fix my own beliefs, seeing her rage nd let negativity completly take over her is alarming nd worrying to me. it makes me feel negative emotions too. im not entirely confident in mastering my mind ywt. i was that overly sensitive kid at school nd i absorv her energy a lot. Those who u love the most, hurt u the most. nd i agree bcoz while im hurt by her (not that shes intentionally hurting me. THRU her im hurt), i do love her. Nd now thanks to the law ik by changing my beliefs abt things, i can change the world
My reason is i cant change her bcuz she gets hella maddened if i suggest a less negative thought. Nd she instead starts blaming me for my 'decisions in Life' which SHE would NEVERRR make oh no... -_- Nd im not saying i try to be obnoxious abt it hell no! im talking abt getting frustrated at the table talking abt smth abt a random topic, then suddenly listening to her start complaining abt e g. Some kid whos "richer" than i am heatedly! nd if i steer the convo away, nope, she keeps fuming a bit
so since i can only change myself, how the hell do i change my assumptions of her? i affirm having a great mother, happy nd open with her thriving business etc. i affirm this but i cant focus cuz doing so inevitbly makes me sad lol cuz i rmmbr how happy nd liveky she used to be before some unfortunate things in our family that started yrs ago. Which affected us all. Any advice, please? im on a mental diet hwoever the earlier incident of her complaining abt us again caused smth in me to snap. im distancing myself from her but the short times im with her there's only a strong air of disapproval, pain nd misery around her. Tbh i was like that pre-law, not knowing how destructiv my thoughts were, while she was the happy optimistic grateful one. Nd now? Im only slightly more self aware than before ie im NOT saying im able to rise in consiousness SOo much that im 'untouchable' nd buddha-like! Nor is my mom wrong bcuz she's me pushed out! its only her lvl of conciousness nd thats it. its just I don't want to cause or feel more pain or hav any excuse to curse her ,when ego sometimes takes over, anymore. im having some personal issues to take care of too, which is why this is affecting me too much. Sort of like having a weak immune system already?
I want my happy intelligent mom back. ik i got to change me... but the doing is way harder than the saying
🫀anon
Okay first of all imma say it cause I don’t think nobody else will…. Your mom is shitty…. There, I said it. She is abusive and selfish and a bad mom. No parent should ever treat their children that way and make them think they need to fix them.
Other than that yes it’s true she is your manifestation but I think it’s important to let emotions out. Be mad at her for once, stop rationalizing her bad behavior. You have the right to feel mad, angry, sad. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID.
I know it seems impossible to keep a mental diet when you see the negative behavior you wish to change every day. I assume you live in the same house. My suggestion is to stick to your mental diet and try to interact as little with her as possible. Go out more often or stay a bit more in your room. Every time you see a behavior from her that you don’t like, and you feel like affirming doesn’t help, close your eyes and see her hugging you and telling you all sorts of beautiful, loving things you’d like to hear from her.
You should also work on your self concept. Parental issues often manifest from poor self concept. Affirmations like “I am worthy, I am loved, I am enough, I am respected, I am cherished” work amazing.
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bluebuzzmusic · 3 years
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Breaking Down Carnage’s Inflammatory “DJs Taking Risks” Tweet
Yesterday morning, Carnage sent out the following tweet.
TBH…. ever since Tim passed away there hasn’t been any djs taking risks to push dance music forward…. all same shit everywhere… shit is sad… Guetta & Morten the only ones trying something new
— CARNAGE (@djcarnage) February 3, 2021
Predictably, this incensed a lot of people. Particularly among groups of people whose passion it is to find underground, underappreciated, unknown artists, the take came across as shallow and diminished Carnage’s reputation as a tastemaker — at least initially.
this is the PERFECT example of how shitty the edm bubble is and how hard these big artist dont try to Innovative artist because they only care about the big ones like themselves
sad sad sad https://t.co/tzlDPmiLAU
— YUNG VRO (@BlvkSheepMusic) February 4, 2021
and shows a complete disregard for the literal ten of thousands of hardworking talented kids who are pushing boundaries every day. innovation won’t always personally text u, u sometimes maybe gotta look for it
— CYCLOPS RECORDINGS STAN ACCOUNT (@Subtronics) February 3, 2021
this is an interesting way to let everyone know that you don’t even listen to music
— chet porter (@chetporter) February 3, 2021
as wonderful as Avicii is, this tweet screams tone deaf. this tweet is a sign to everyone who even had the slightest idea to attend your live shows post-COVID that you’re not gonna play anything interesting and it’s not worth their time attending. thanks for the heads up!
— Moore Kismet
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(@MooreKismetBass) February 3, 2021
Literally 100s if not 1000s of innovative electronic artists: Am I a joke to you? Carnage: Yes
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Oliver Heldens
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(@OliverHeldens) February 4, 2021
Five hours later, Carnage would tweet again to say that he only shared his thoughts after going through his own demo email, which isn’t exactly a great barometer of forward-thinking music; when you’re a mainstream artist, people tend to send you mainstream content.
I made that tweet after listening thru 600+ demos I’ve received in my promo email… 90% of them were all the same shit… the ratio of people trying new things is sooooo offf…
— CARNAGE (@djcarnage) February 4, 2021
He continued…
Ofcourse there’s artist out there doing some fire shit….but not enough…..
— CARNAGE (@djcarnage) February 4, 2021
And more established djs need to be doing the same… take the risks… stop listening to your managers or agents… listen to your heart and go crazy!!!
— CARNAGE (@djcarnage) February 4, 2021
ATLIENS, Whipped cream, hekler, apache, gravedgr, salvatore ganacci, Morten,Marauda, rinzen, lit lords, side piece, sudden death,valentino,4b, riot ten, must die…. they making
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— CARNAGE (@djcarnage) February 4, 2021
Whether these tweets are backpedaling or not (they appear to be), we’re not here to put words in Carnage’s mouth.
In the end, it all resulted in a long IG Live wherein Carnage spoke with a variety of producers and tastemakers, including Moore Kismet, Subtronics, and Insomniac CEO Pasquale Rotella. For a lot of people, it wasn’t much better than his tweets.
carnage has said “take a risk” over 500 times in this live.
pasquale says “well who took a risk for you? lots of younger kids are getting real funky.”
carnage: “the chainsmokers. they put singing on edm.”
— josh pan (@joshpan) February 4, 2021
Carnage on IG live rn talking about how all music sounds the same today when u go to festivals. that isn’t artists’ fault for not taking risks, it’s promoters’ and agents’ fault for not booking innovative artists & booking the same lineups EVERY single year cuz it’s a safe bet
— Litty Kitty (@HexCougar) February 4, 2021
At the end of the day, the whole conversation likely did nothing to sway haters or supporters of Carnage either way.
The bottom line is that 1) there are innovative producers at every level, it just takes a little digging to get there; and 2) there does need to be more innovation at the top and less incentive to rest on their laurels. Hex Cougar’s tweet (above) pretty much hits the nail on the head by shifting (at least some of) the responsibility to promoters for not booking up and coming artists and going for the easy buck.
But as we’ve seen with Your EDM’s own content, as well, there needs to be an all-around shift to make any sort of formative change. If there’s anything to take from yesterday’s whole interaction, it’s that at least a few artists got some new fans.
  Photo via Rukes.com
This article was first published on Your EDM. Source: Breaking Down Carnage’s Inflammatory “DJs Taking Risks” Tweet
source https://www.youredm.com/2021/02/04/breaking-down-carnages-inflammatory-djs-taking-risks-tweet/
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