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mwolf0epsilon · 7 months

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The Umbaran Pathogen - Day 6: Mind Control

Summary: The parasite that had burrowed into Tup's nervous system and altered his brain chemistry had more than taken a hold. It had begun to slowly turn Tup from the sweet caring brother he was, into a mockery of his former self. His mind so out of it that he no longer cared that he had completely overwritten his twin's free will into a vague idea of a happy and relaxed lackey.

Warning: Mentions of blood drinking, egg implantation, parasites, body horror and organic fleshy material used as a construction base (this chapter is a little bit gross but it's nothing too descriptive, just conceptual).

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[In which the events on Umbara are worsened by an unknown pathogen taking hold of both the 501st and 212th. These series of drabbles will follow a non-linear timeline based on the AI-less Whumptober prompt list for 2023.]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

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Tup couldn't help but smile as he felt the cool Umbaran breeze in his hair. His armour and helmet had begun to feel so terribly stuffy as of late, that being able to zip about with his face exposed for just a few minutes felt absolutely heavenly.

Alas it was but a fleeting moment of bliss, since it was not yet time for him to shed this plastoid shell. Not yet at least...

Everything was still (frustratingly) in the initial preparatory stages. Resources needed to be collected, more eggs needed to be planted in the Worker Cast candidates, and the Hive needed to be properly constructed to house all of those who'd be pupating soon. His loyal Drone had been doing a phenomenal job thus far. So eager to please. So happy to do whatever needed to be done to make Tup a happy, healthy and strong Hive Leader. Unshakably loyal.

He couldn't imagine why he'd ever been nervous when he'd first began to size Dogma up for this particular task. This new role of his. Nor could he remember why he'd felt so revolted when he'd first drawn blood from his little brother, to begin the vital egg production phase of their newfound life-cycles.

It was unfathomable to him why he'd found this heinous or disgusting. Especially now that he could see the end results.

Sure there was an absolutely gag-worthy ugly duckling stage. When the implantation spot first flared up in a desperate but futile attempt to fight against the little Larvae that emerged from the egg. The rash wasn't nice to look at, and the way it eventually spread as the body began to fully integrate the new genetic coding was... Well it was a little gross to bare witness to...

Dogma had looked pretty horrific when the changes overtook him. The pus-filled blisters and boils, the crusty eyes and dribbling nose, the pain on his feverish face had all but broken Tup's heart as he kept checking in on his pupating sibling.

He'd been more resistant than Tup had been to the lesser parasite's influence. Had tried to fight it off and even seek outside help from the medics. But then he'd finally succumbed to dronification completely, and his defiance had become open acceptance of his new nature. His mind calm, collected and his to do with as he wished.

And Tup wanted nothing more than to make his little brother happy. Make him feel safe. Which he did whenever he was near Tup. So he was doing a finer job than anyone else on this wretched planet.

The moment his rotting flesh sloughed off from his trembling body was also one to remember. The slick black and blue carapace, the long luminous wings and strong limbs, that powerful stinger, the twitching antennae and sharp mandibles...

He'd made his frightened and gangling little brother into a powerhouse. A warrior of epic proportions. Tup had made him into something infinitely stronger and more beautiful than any mere clone could ever hope to be, and yearned to do the same to all of the remaining vode. To make them better, stronger, less likely to be killed by that... That horrid brute...

The thought of Krell made Tup's blissful expression take on a much more sour note. The delight at feeling the cool wind lost, as he considered how to best deal with the Besalisk bastard that threatened his Hive's safety. That monster needed to be dealt with. Sooner rather than later, otherwise the few he'd already infected might not make it to the Pupa stage. The Nest needed to be finished soon. Which meant they needed more Larvae to begin producing material for construction.

That was exactly what they were doing. Dogma effortlessly carrying Tup between the 501st and 212th basecamps. Giving him ample opportunity to lay more eggs and spirit away those who housed a newly hatched Larvae to their forever home.

All organic matter they shed made fine building materials for a proper cozy nest. Insulating walls, cushioning surfaces, creating the perfect living space for Tup's Hive, and providing a surface for which the fungi and flowering plants they needed to thrive off of to grow on. They'd be self sustaining, seldom needing to go out hunting unless protein provisions ran low. Once Tup could finally pupate and become his bigger stronger more beautiful self, he'd be able to protect and provide for his family. His beloved Hive brothers.

And that was a thought that had him smiling again, pressing his face to the crook of Dogma's neck as he continued to carry him to and fro. Pleased to help in Tup's progress towards power and control. Relishing in his Hive Leader's noticeable satisfaction as he chaperoned him through the air.

Tup loved the new them. He was sure the rest of their brothers would love their new selves just as much. If not, then he'd simply make them. The Hive Leader knew best, after all.

#Eps Writes #star wars #the clone wars #whumptober #Umbaran Pathogen AU #clone trooper tup #clone trooper dogma

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aelaer · 10 months

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writing update yay

Write Every Day June was a smashing success. Even on days I really wasn't feeling it due to being tired or having a crappy day (which definitely happened more than once), just rereading the part before the section I was about to write helped get me in the mood to go.

On the first and possibly the second day I wrote for a one-shot that likely won't see the light of day for ages, but the rest of the month was dedicated to Fic 5 in my series which I'm pretty sure I'm calling Above the Shadows. The fic doc was at 57k when I started this month, and in the wee hours of July 1st it's at 96k, so 39k new words (probably more as I deleted a lot of notes too, but many of those words are more notes so it evens out).

This is by far the most success I've had in writing for one piece of fiction in a month. I completed NaNo once by accident writing for Whumptober 2019, but that was across 31 fics. The other times I was recording how much I was writing in the past was 29k for a July NaNo back in like, 2010, and then last August for this same fic where I wrote a bit every day and got about 20ish-k done then.

As for actual fic progress, well, this month had me finishing the mostly-complete 6 and 7, fully writing out chapters 8-11, writing an interlude, mostly-completing 12 and 13, and writing a handful of pages for 14. Though throughout this whole process items kept being put in and events kept on being shifted to a newly labeled chapter, leaving the chapter count to grow ever larger.

If I had to guess (and again, it's definitely a bit hard to guess), I think the final chapter count is going to be 18-19 full chapters (which are like 5k-8k a pop) and 2 shorter interlude chapters. And I think at 96k, about 7k of that is just notes and A/Ns, so I really have 89k of fic. Looking at what scenes I have past the current chapter 13, and if I keep it to 19 chapters at 6.5k average I'm maybe... 2/3rds done with the fic.

I'll have a better idea once I have 14 and 15 solidified, I think.

Unfortunately I can't continue Write Every Day trends with July as most weekends I'm going out of town this month, including a whole jaunt to Comic Con. But I'll do my best to write each day on the weekdays I'm in town.

As for publishing, I am seriously considering a slow rollout to start with publishing a chapter like every 3 weeks at around the 80% mark which honestly, I'd really hope would be in August if July's as successful as last August. It'd give my beta plenty of time to work too on the last chapters, and by then I shouldn't suddenly stumble into a plothole that needs to be fixed 10 chapters previous. Then once everything's done it'd change probably to once a week.

So yeah! We'll see what life brings. But I'm crossing fingers to have something public by the end of the summer if I go the slow rollout route.

#my writing #update #fanfic

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polizwrites · 7 months

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PoliZ's WIP Update - 4 Oct 2023

A roughly average week thanks to Fic/Flufftober inspiration (and last-minute Sam Wilson Bingo fills!) I touched 5 fics (2 WIPs & 3 new works) for a total of 2339 words.

On Ao3, I posted:

Chapter Six of Finding Something Fresh - wrapping up my omega!Dom!Steve & beta!sub!Bucky fic.

A Falcon Turned Phoenix - Sam and Joaquin mentor/protege ficlet.

As Night Falls - Sam & Bucky TFaWS missing scene ficlet

I have 19 semi-active WIPs 😬 with my current deadlines being the Sam Wilson Bingo that wraps on Oct 15, the Halloween Horror Bingo and the the Fictober/Flufftober/Whumptober prompt challenges that all wrap at the end of the month.

See below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc. As always, feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects or any other WIPs I’ve got out there. Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Seek & Destroy Collab

After reading @psychiccatpanda‘s amazing Morguna and the Green Queen, I got the itch to explore the Soldier’s POV and talked Faustie into collab’ing with me! We’re working on a new part of the series, and I’ve contributed about 900 words towards the 2500-ish we have so far. Going to see if I can squeeze any of my BBB squares into this fic.

All Caps Bingo [ACB_R1] (Ends 30 Sep)

29 squares filled, thanks to the adoptables and Monthly Missions, so I made my blackout and then some! I sent in my badge claims and made my masterpost.

* Sept Adoptable: Dominant Omega - Posted the final chapter of Finding Something Fresh last Friday. Omega!Dom!Steve and beta!sub!Bucky complete their scene; it came in at 919 words.

Sam Wilson Bingo [SWB_R3] (Ends 15 Oct 2023)

I have seven fills and two WIPs - targeting a bingo and perhaps one more fill before the bingo wraps up. Might try to crossfill with the Captain Bottom bingo?

* B4 - Natasha Romanoff - Maybe add on to my Card Sharks drabble, where SamNat & Steve conspire to create a polycule with Bucky? this idea crosses over nicely with my BBB KINK: Seduction mission square

* G2 - Teacher/Teacher AU - Wrote up a No Powers AU FalconHawk meet (mostly) cute ficlet as a crossover with Fictober Day 9. Lessons Learned is coming in at 409 words and will post on Monday.

* G3 - Joaquin Torres - posted A Falcon Turned Phoenix yesterday as a crossfill with Day 3 of Fictober. It’s an expansion of A Rising Star and came in at 600 words even.

* G4 - Adopting a Pet - working on a moodboard for this where Joaquin brings a stray cat home and Sam and Bucky (pretend to) disapprove. Shout out to @hannahshattuck for the assist on the Joaquin pics!

* G5 - Wilson Family Dynamics - filled this with As Night Falls, a TFaWS canon-compliant Sam & Bucky ficlet set in Delacroix. It came in at 368 words and will post to Ao3 before the bingo ends.

Halloween Horror Bingo - [HHB_23] (Ends 31 Oct 2023)

Just signed up for this event, hosted by @halloweenhorrorbingo. After picking three horror films, you get a 3x3 card (with 3 alternates) with prompts based on those films.

* B1 - Dealing with Extreme Cold - seems like a good match with my BBB Cold and or SVB Last Resort square along with Whumptober: Thermometer & Fictober "It's not too late, let's go."

* ALT1 - There’s something under the bed - Working on A Hairy Situation - WinterHawk Werewolf AU that’s up to 1140 words so far and may cross over with my BBB Accidental Villainy or "This might as well happen" square. Targeting to post on Friday the 13th. 😁

Fictober/Flufftober/Whumptober - [FFWtober_23] (Ends 31 Oct 2023)

I’m lumping these three prompt challenges together as I plan on mixing and matching with a goal of using at least one prompt from these three lists each week.

* Whumptober Day 2: Thermometer see HHB Dealing with Extreme Cold

* Fictober Day 3: "Okay, show me." see SWB Joaquin Torres above.

* Flufftober Day 6. Corn Maze - wrote a fluffy IronStrange established relationship where Tony and Stephen get lost in a corn maze. An A-maze-ing Afternoon is coming in at 405 words and will post Friday.

* Fictober Day 9: "I wouldn't do that if I were you." See SWB Teacher/Teacher AU.

* Fictober Day 12: "I'm not saying I didn't like it." Contemplating a crossover with my TSB Pairing: Tony/Thor as a continuation of/sequel to Caught By the Rain and Blinded by the Lightning

* Fictober Day 24: [melting emoji] - combine with TSB "Get back in bed!" Tony has a fever and won’t listen to his partner. Maybe throw in a little Whumptober too?

* Fictober Day 27: "I don't know if they will accept this." - This could be a fun combo with TSB T2 - KINK: Cock-blocking 'bots.

WinterIron Bingo - [WIB_R1] (Ends 16 Dec 2023)

I have sixteen fills completed and two WIPs for this brand-new bingo event that I’m helping mod! Along with crossfilling against my other bingos, I’m going to try to combine my B column squares for the Iron Soldier badge (complete a bingo with a single work). – Alpha Tony Stark, “That was not my intention.”, James Rhodes, Alpine loves Tony and Blind date. (Tony POV remix of A Sugar Coated Pill?)

* N1 - Bucharest – I think I can fold this into a future chapter of My Love is Vengeance - where a young!Tony and a recovering!Bucky have been kidnapped by Hydra, who still thinks Bucky is the Soldier.

* G2 - Eye contact during sex - This will come into play in Chapter 6 of A Sugar-Coated Pill, where Bucky figures out what making love really means, with Tony’s help. It’s crossing over with BBB KINK: Gentle Sex and is up to 503 words.

* G4 - AU: College Students – looking to expand Beaten to the Punch with some backstory on Bucky and Tony as science camp counselors to fit with this square - will also cross over with my WFB Volunteering Together square.

* O5 - Gentle – use this poem as inspiration?

Stucky’Verse Bingo Round 1 - [SVB_R1] (Ends 22 Dec)

Eleven fills, two WIPs and a couple of ideas.

* A1 - Harem - crossover with CABB Secret/Forbidden Relationship - Bucky and shrimpy!Steve are both concubines - they love each other more than their lord. I poked at this a little last week and have 71 words.

* A4 - Fairy Tale Curse - this seems custom-made for a continuation of Beyond the Beast😁 Nothing written yet, other than some Vague Ideas.

* C3 - FREE - Need to find a good match for Chapter 2 of Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole - a Bucky POV remix of at least the first part of Take What Was Wrong (And Make it Right), which is current sitting at 52 words. I’m expecting at least one more chapter, possibly two, depending on how far I want to take the remix.

* C5 - Last Resort - see HHB Dealing with Extreme Cold

Bucky Barnes Bingo - [BBB_R5] (Ends 10 Jan 2024)

I’ve got eleven fills, four WIPs, and a couple more Vague ideas.

* B2 - KINK: Seduction Mission - might add a new chapter to Card Sharks - where Sam/Natasha and Steve finish what they started to get Bucky onboard for a poly partnership.

* B5 - Cold - see HHB Dealing with Extreme Cold

* U1 - Never the fall that kills you - I’ve got a WinterIron hanahaki fic idea for this that I might play with or check against Whumptober prompts

* U3 - Fireplace - Working on a 1980′s No Powers WinterIron fic set at a ski lodge where Tony’s being wooed by poetry and love letters that Bucky wrote to someone else. Started poking at this as a crossover with a Love Letters prompt and it’s sitting at 129 words.

* C2 - Yelena Belova– The plan is to use this prompt in the next chapter of Peresmešnik, (aka Three Avengers and a Baby), which is currently sitting at 1303 words (600-ish of which are mine).

* C5 - Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple - next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion. Got a spark of an idea the other day that might get me a bit further on this fic.

* K3 - Magic - Aro!Bucky healing with a kiss idea?

* Y1 - Gentle Sex – In-progress Chapter 6 of Sugar-Coated Pill- see WIB Eye Contact During Sex.

* Y3 - Alpine - see WIB Iron Soldier combo.

* Y4 - Forgotten Things - using this for Chapter 4 of You Can’t Stop It With a Gun - it’s sitting at 116 words at the moment.

* May Adopted - Insomnia - finally got this filled with The Dead of Night, which also filled a Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF211 An Old Friend] along with my JBB FREE square. It came in at 317 words and will post to Ao3 before this event ends.

* August Adopted: Take the Shot - sounds like a WinterHawk fic to me… maybe cross over with JBB Touch-starved? Whumptober/Fictober possibilities as well.

Tony Stark Bingo Round 7 - [TSB_R7] (ends 15 Feb)

Ten fills and zero WIPs, with a couple of ideas in play.

* S1 - Galaxy - possibly use in final chapter of Never More to Go Astray ?

* S2 - KINK: Multiple Orgasms - thanks to a NSFW shitpost over in the WinterIron Discord server (and @rebelmeg’s awesome commentary) - I have A Sign of the (Sexy)Times ready to post next Wednesday. 425 words of a WinterPepperony not-quite-smutfic (fade to black before actual sex, but there is Sexual Content)

* S3 - Pairing: Tony/Thor - see Fictober Day 12 above.

* T2 - KINK: Cock-blocking 'bots - see Fictober Day 27 above

* T3 - A pairing you've never done - @somesortofitalianroast and I are looking at collabing on a Steve/Tony/Scott fic - possibly throw in a Flufftober/Fictober prompt?

* T5 - Shawarma - possible crossover with SAUB Canon Divergence – Battle of New York-related?

* A2 - KINK: Concubine - possible crossover with SAUB Gentle Dom

* A5 - Building your friends - used this for the Discord September Round Robin - will share the link once it gets posted.

* R1 - Animal Transformation - DemonPanda shared a fun prompt on the WIB server - Tony as a short-haired werewolf who needs to cuddle his pack members for warmth.

* R5 - Doppelganger/Evil Twins - The Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF214 Broken Mirror] got me at least a good start on the idea I’ve been playing with for this square. I posted NamNori on Tumblr and have a general idea of how I want to build on it to also fill my SAUB AU: Crack square. It’s currently sitting at 360 words.

* K2 - "Get back in bed!" - see Fictober Day 24 above

* September Adopted: Tony/Stephen - see Flufftober Day 6 above

Stony AUniverse Bingo [SAUB_R1] (ends 15 Feb)

Another brand-new bingo I’m helping co-mod! Six fills, three WIPs and several crossover ideas already!

* S1 - Edging - Filled this with Ringing in the New, where Tony makes a suggestion to improve/change up their love life. It’s a crossover with a Flash Fiction Friday prompt: How Do You Use ‘It’? and came in at 324 words - I will post it to Ao3 before the event is over.

* S2 - AU: Crack - see TSB Doppelganger/Evil Twins

* S3 - AU: Wings - see SVB FREE square

* S5 - Accidental Baby Acquisition - see BBB Yelena Belova

* T1 - AU: Fantasy - CoffeeOwl shared a really cool dragon!Steve/indebted!Tony prompt in the ACB Discord server that I may be playing with for this.

* T4 - AU: Canon Divergence - see TSB Shawarma above.

* N2 - Mutual Pining - crossover with CABB Royal Knight?

* N3 - Gentle Dom - see TSB KINK: Concubine above

* Y4 - AU: Soulmates - @chrissihr posted a cool idea about Animated soulmarks, where only your SM sees your mark move - may try to do something with this!

Captain (America) Bottom Bingo - Round 2 [CABB] (ends 28 Feb 2024)

I signed up for a 3x3 card for this bingo and have four fills, one WIPs and a couple of crossover ideas.

* A2 - Secret/Forbidden Relationship - see SVB Harem

* B3 - Royal Knight - see SAUB Mutual Pining.

Post July Break Bingo [JBB_23p] (Ends Apr 2024)

@julybreakbingo is running another event to tide participants over with a 2x3 non-fandom-specific card - I got mine earlier this week and am checking it over for potential crossovers.

* A1 - “It’s you. It’s always been you.” - This might fit in with my TSB Doppelgangers/Evil Twins fill NamNori above :: ponders::

* B1 - Ask the neighbor if they know why your apartment is haunted - I gotta do something with this for Spooky Month - maybe combine with TSB Old Ghosts or something off my HHB card :: ponders::

* B2 - Character’s personality is split into two different beings – I’ve never played with Bucky & the Soldier being two different people, but this seems like the perfect opportunity! Will see what might be a good crossover on BBB or WIB (or even SVB)

* C1 - Touch Starved – another good fit for a Bucky-centric fic. (Steve or Tony or Clint) possibly crossover with BBB Take the shot?

Warm and Fluffy Bingo - [WFB] (no end date)

I got my card from @warmandfluffybingocards back in February but really haven’t done much with it - however, I’m picking it back up for some crossover possibilities!

* O5 - Volunteering Together – see WIB AU: College Students

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On other creative fronts: I am working on a comics!Daredevil Stuffed With Character figure in progress for an upcoming con and have signed up for the Marvel Trumps Hate event - so keep an eye out for my auctions!

If you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations, check out Stuffed With Character over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 150!). These soft stuffed figures are mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design requests for any fandom!

#writing stuff #wip wednesday #wip update #shameless self promo

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wander-wren · 1 year

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Wren’s Concept Box

i always have a thousand ideas for different fics in my head, so this is where i keep track of them! since these are just ideas i’m throwing around, you’re also welcome to take them for yourself, as long as you tell me so i can go see it and hype you up!!

my current wips generally take priority, but i’m always down to just chat about everything here. i’m also a rlly big pushover and easily convinced to write things, lol, so do with that what you will. obligatory disclaimer that there’s no guarantee i’ll write anything here, and if i stop being interested in a concept i’ll delete it.

Upcoming Fics

these fics are almost certainly going to be written eventually bc they’re connected to current wips/completed fics, i just haven’t gotten to start them yet.

three of swords- power of three rewrite following my other rewrite fics. main changes: three are born in windclan, sol actually has a purpose, and their powers have been…reimagined. also hollyleaf has a power.

sign of the four- omen of the stars rewrite. main changes: dovewing is the fourth cat, not firestar. other changes TBD.

hold my hand (i’ll lead you through)- working title, third installment in the emetophobic!adam verse, but WAY fluffier than the others. more montage/character study style of the gangsey helping adam.

Other Ideas

everything not 90% guaranteed. ordered alphabetically by fandom, and in no particular order after that. a few have titles, most don’t.

BNHA

there’s beauty in the bleeding (at least you feel something)- touch-starved!todoroki who doesn’t know how to get touch except via sparring. eventually some?? people?? figure it out and there is fluff

snowed in- huddling for warmth/mission gone wrong bkdk with todoroki third wheeling, and potential ot3?

only time we’ve held hands (i threw a punch and you caught it)- the title is the concept i just Like It. definitely bkdk, maybe…soulmark fic? idk.

dabihawks old guard au- i wrote in this universe for whumptober and had a lot of fun, so i’m definitely down to write a full longfic with it at some point. when i have fewer longfics in progress lol.

The Old Guard

joenicky character study- them through the ages. for the express purpose of writing their final death bc i have Thoughts and Opinions on it but i don’t just want to write it by itself, yknow?

The Raven Cycle

gansey and the ship of theseus- the world needs more gansey angst! i imagine my guy has weird feelings about being resurrected twice. sarchengsey roadtrip era

pynch & possession- just adam post That Scene at the end of the raven king hating himself/being terrified bc he hurt ronan

cambridge, take two- a different version of ronan going to harvard in cdth, with no murder crabs but still angst. honestly i don’t remember what i thought with this and my notes have like no details but i’m intrigued.

soulmarks- au where people get to choose soulmates, and they can be unrequited. once you choose someone, a mark appears on the first place they touched you, like a tattoo, that represents them. if they choose you back, same thing. ik that destroys the idea of soulmates but i like the idea of the gangsey choosing to be bound to each other.

pynch mind reading- after cabeswater possesses adam, either he can hear ronan’s thoughts or ronan can hear adam’s, or both. then they fall in love, or something.

genderbent pynch- no thoughts i just rlly like lesbians. girl!ronan owns my entire soul.

Six of Crows

character studies- thats all, just. getting in their heads. a little series. i have a nina one i wrote for a friend as a gift but that was like two years ago and i’m afraid to check if it holds up. but i like doing them.

Warriors

mosskit lives au- i had this idea ages ago where mosskit survives and somehow manages to reach bloodclan? and becomes it’s leader instead of scourge? idk about the logic there. but they (they’re nonbinary to me) are obsessed with revenge on bluestar and become the Actual big bad of tpb, pulling the strings on everything.

swiftgorse- i was introduced to swiftpaw/gorsepaw and idk what i’d do with it but i’m very interested

Welcome to Night Vale

ripping at the seams- cecil finally cracks under the pressure of being night vale’s voice. the “stuck in my booth, only able to narrate and not to help” quote inspired this.

carlos 113 aftermath- i have a note about carlos learning about the events of 113 and freaking out but i don’t fully remember that episode or my thought process. i’m still intrigued.

#fic inspo #fanfiction #warrior cats #bnha #the raven cycle #six of crows #welcome to night vale #the old guard #i swear i have more ideas but my brains a little bit mushy #oh well i’ll update as things come to me

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elluia · 4 months

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My 2023 fanfic recs & recap [5/5]

This is a multi-part series, with a countdown to the New Year!

Navigation

The best of Ike x Soren fanfics

The best of Fire Emblem fanfics (Genealogy, Three Houses, Engage, Heroes)

The best of misc. series (Omori, Long Live The Queen, Stardew Valley)

The Spicy™ best-of (bonk)

My 2023 works recap (Fódlan and Tellius) YOU ARE HERE

All of my fanfics are part of the Fire Emblem series, and posted on AO3. This post is my own recap and self rec.

Moonlit Oath (FE3H) – ONGOING 📖 (posted 4 chapters; 43,256 words)

A long… very long, slow-burn story of Ferdinand promoted to protagonist and going through hell for it, I guess? Contains a lot of romance, intrigue, epic battles, and month-long waits between 10K+ updates 💀

His Sweat and Blood (FE3H) – COMPLETED 📘 (posted 2 chapters: 13,018 words)

Cyril’s backstory. From war orphan to prisoner of war, he’s just trying to survive.

He’s a favourite of mine, and I’ll give him the love he deserves. Also a big emphasis on the lovely family he found at the Monastery.

Final Farewell (FE3H) – COMPLETED 📘 (posted 3 chapters; 16,451 words)

Mercedes’s backstory. To gain her freedom from House Bartels, she sacrificed Emile’s.

Heavy period drama vibes, with her mom being my MVP among the parents of Fódlan. The story also shows a less idealised Mercie in her youth.

The Strong Survive (PoR) – COMPLETED 📘 (one-shot; 6,061 words)

Ashnard challenges Soren to a duel on the final battle for Crimea’s liberation. Writing Ashnard’s PoV was very fun.

A Cutting Truth (PoR) – COMPLETED 📘 (one-shot; 5,233 words)

Knife Sage Soren, taken seriously. Heavy angst as expected, with a hopeful ending.

(❁´◡`❁) As writers, we need to celebrate our victories over every blank page, bad vibe, schedule slip… I feel drained, but I will celebrate my writing victories of 2023.

I started a lot of projects for Whumptober 2022, and I managed to finish them (with very elaborate backstories) before they hit their one-year anniversary 🥳

I had fun making some memes for Moonlit Oath, because I’ve been writing this fic since 2020 and I love these characters too much by now.

I finally wrote my first Tellius fanfics because Soren got to shine in Heroes and Engage 🏆 My favourite character… I’ve finally done it 🥺

84,019 words posted in total 🤯 Much more in WIPs. I managed to write all of that despite being sick for a grand total of 3 months, I think. This year fucking sucked for so many reasons 💀 I might burn-out if I try that again next year though…

Thank you for reading these fic recs and this recap! See you next year?

#elluia writes #fe3h #feh #moonlit oath #soren #ferdinand von aegir #tellius #fe9 #cyril fe3h #mercedes von martritz #fic rec #fanfic rec #self rec

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buckybarnesowl · 2 years

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It Never Ends - Chapter 5

Pairing: College!AU Bucky x fem! Reader

Series description: Bucky and Y/n are fourth-year undergrads with the same major. They’ve always had a crush on each other but were too reserved to do anything about it. One horrendous night pushes them together and they’re forced to navigate the fallout, for better or worse.

A/n: Being that it’s Halloween, I’m obviously failing to complete the Whumptober challenge. I’m still going to try and use 31 of the prompts, but I had to remap the whole story. That said there will be 3-4 chapters after this. Thanks to everyone for following along, for your support and feedback, and just reading my writing! It blows my mind that I have people who like my work and I’m grateful for each and everyone of you. As always, heed the chapter warnings and take care of yourselves. If anyone needs talk, my messages are always open.

Chapter 5 warnings: ptsd, panic, disassociation, depression, reference to non-con, reference to reporting sexual assault

Chapter 5 word count: 2.7k

Chapter 5 prompts:

No. 11 - JUST KEEP SWIMMING adrift | drowning | dehydration No. 31 - HURT & COMFORT disaster zone | trauma | prisoner Alternative Prompts List 8. comfort

Previous Chapter | Series Masterlist | Masterlist

“She’s alive!” Natasha teased from where she was sitting at the shared dining room table when Y/n finally exited her room.

Rolling her eyes, Y/n shuffled past Wanda doing the dishes to put the kettle on.

“We thought we might not get a chance to say goodbye before we head home,” Wanda added, soft concern laced in her tone.

She left the last bowl in the dry rack and turned to place a hand on Y/n’s shoulder, but felt her flinch immediately.

“Shit, I’m sorry babe. I should have warned you—”

“It’s fine,” Y/n replied sharply, hands clenching the counter for a moment before abandoning her idea to make tea. She moved swiftly towards the living area, then balled herself up in the middle of the couch.

Natasha and Wanda shot each other knowing looks before moving towards her.

“Can we sit with you?” Wanda asked gently.

Y/n nodded her head, chin resting on her knees that were pulled into her chest, eyes staring into an invisible void only she seemed able to see.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay during the break? We can tell our families we have too much work. It’s final year after all, they’ll understand.” Natasha offered the lifeline again, despite having been turned down each time previously.

“I told you both, I’m fine. You know Bucky’s going to check in on me. Besides, I don't really feel like being social right now. But it’s fine. I swear.”

The waver in her voice was betraying her, as if her words were meant to convince herself more than her friends.

“We know you’re okay, hun. You’re so fucking strong. It’s just…” Wanda looked to her fellow redhead for help. She was better at being frank.

“We noticed you’re not really eating. And you’re staying in your room a lot more.”

Y/n just blinked, as if she knew what was coming.

“We’re not rushing you, you know we’re here for you no matter what. But it’s been a week and we’re worried about you,” Wanda added. “We just hate seeing you go through this alone. We’re your best friends. We want to help you.”

Silence fell on the three as they sat huddled together, but Natasha broke it with a startling crash.

“Have you decided if you’re going to report them? Now that you know, I mean.”

“Nat!” Wanda hissed at her.

Y/n went rigid, forcing the two friends to pull away slightly.

“What did you say?” she asked, voice low.

“I… it’s just you know we’d all support you. And now that Bucky overheard them basically admitting it, you have three people that can fully corroborate your story. This could be enough to actually expel those fucking—”

Y/n flug herself off the couch and spun around to face them, eyes searing into both of her friends.

“And somehow that’s all of a sudden my fucking responsibility?! You both don’t want to see me go through this alone? Well, news flash! I was fucking alone. It happened to me! Not you! And now I have to fucking relive it at the weirdest fucking times. When a friend touches my shoulder. When I’m waiting in line at the cafe. When I’m trying to fall asleep at 3:00 a.m. and I’m not even tired yet I’m so fucking exhausted...”

Y/n was heaving, her hands balled into fists as she pressed them into her rising chest to shield herself from a danger only she seemed to be aware of.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I didn’t mean—”

“I know,” she snapped, cutting Natasha off. “And you’re right. God, you’re fucking right. I just… uuhhggg, I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she groaned, burying her face into her hands.

“Please, forget I brought this up, okay? I shouldn’t have said anything,” Natasha looked at Wanda with pleading eyes.

“We just want you to know we’ll support you no matter what, okay hun? We were wrong to press you about this. It’s your choice and you don’t owe anyone a single fucking thing. You get to decide and you can take things as slow as you need, okay?”

They both relaxed when they saw their friend’s head bob in acknowledgment.

“Can we hug you?”

As soon as they saw Y/n offer another nod they pulled her back down to the couch and smothered her.

Y/n allowed herself to be embraced, but she had no tears. She felt oddly numb, as if her body wasn’t hers, indifferent to the touch. Her brain knew it was comforting, that she could feel safe. Yet her cells had no reaction to the caring gesture. It changed nothing. She was still adrift in an abyss, tethered to no one, nowhere. Endlessly floating in an infinite grey that threatened to drown her as it swallowed her whole.

Suddenly a knock at the door pulled the three friends out of their heads.

“Shit, it’s Bucky. I forgot we made plans for a movie night tonight,” Y/n sighed.

“I got it,” Natasha assured as she pulled away from the group hug and pushed herself up off the couch. A silent fuck escaped her lips as she walked to the door.

Natasha opened the door to let Bucky in, motioning with her eyes towards the couch as she greeted him, trying to communicate the situation that just occurred.

Bucky seemed to catch on quickly, giving a subtle nod before entering the open-concept common area.

“Hey there,” he said smoothly, a warm grin on his face. “Can I get in on this hug?”

“Sure,” Y/n offered meekly, clearing her throat after.

Letting her friends in during these moments took every ounce of energy out of her, but she forced herself through the fog. She always heard Dr. Cho’s voice in her head, reminding her to not shut people out.

Bucky sat down and wrapped his arms around Y/n as she leaned forward over her again balled up knees, Wanda mouthing a thank-you to him as he squeezed, allowing the redhead to get off the couch.

“Jesus, it’s already 4:00? Nat, we gotta get to the train station.”

The two friends grew up in the same town on the same cul-du-sac. Their families still lived on the same street, which meant they usually travelled back home together for reading breaks.

“I’ll book the Lyft. My bags are already out here.”

Bucky let go of Y/n and searched her face, his ice blue irises searching for confirmation that she had found land and wasn’t still drowning in despair. She pushed a half smile from her lips and he winked in response

He’d discovered quickly this past week that small gestures spoke volumes for Y/n when she unravelled as he could gather she’d just done. Like when they got to his dorm after the fight. Y/n had gripped his hand silently the entire walk to his place, unable to let go even after he’d led her into the kitchen he shared with Sam and Steve and sat down at the table.

“Y/n, you ok?” he had asked her, his eyes glancing down to their clasped hands then back up to her pained face.

Her lips were trembling and he saw the vibration building in her shoulders as she stared through him.

“It’s ok, sweetheart, I’m still here. I’m ok. It’s just a broken nose, no big deal.”

Her eyes had widened in horror, as if she was watching a movie projection that no one else could see. Then suddenly her entire demeanor had changed and she dropped Bucky’s hand.

“I… I’m fine. Let’s get you some ice,” she had said with such a sudden sweetness it made Bucky’s stomach clench.

“I can get it, doll. Why don’t you sit, you’re clearly—”

“I’m fine,” she insisted firmly.

Bucky paused for a minute, the realization of what she was doing rooting in his heart with an ache.

“Yeah, ‘course you are. How ‘bout that ice, then?” he said, his eyes communicating all of the comfort and consolation he knew she wouldn’t accept if it was offered via words. As if just one more syllable would topple the fragile walls she’d put up, crushing her under the weight of it all.

“Coming right up,” she smiled, sending a silent thank you to float between them.

And that’s when Bucky learned less was more whenever Y/n seemed to get triggered. Which was happening more and more frequently.

During the week that followed, he would dip his toe to test the waters, never pushing more than she could take. Mostly he simply tried to keep a smile on her face. He’d give anything to keep her smiling. Sending funny selfies. Cute animal GIFs. Weird memes. Bringing her hot chocolates. Afternoon walks through the forest trail at the north end of the campus. She wasn’t ready to talk so he wanted her to know he was there when she was.

That’s how the movie night was planned. He picked up on her anxiety of being left alone in the dorm, so he had suggested a movie night sleepover. He had also mentally committed to coming up with excuses to stay there every night while Wanda and Natasha were away if Y/n would let him. He had okay-ed it with the two roommates and they were so grateful. They felt awful for leaving Y/n in this state and they knew Bucky’s offer to watch over her for the week was genuine.

“K, I’m ready,” Wanda declared, closing the door to her room.

“Cool, we should head downstairs. Our ride is five minutes away.”

Bucky followed Y/n’s lead as she got herself up from the couch to say goodbye to her friends.

“We’re going to miss you,” Natasha admitted as Y/n moved towards her friends gathering their things in the entrance way.

“So much,” Wanda added as she put her coat on.

“Whatever, it’ll be a nice break from my doom and gloom,” Y/n chuckled.

Natasha froze, a death glare falling on her face. “Don’t you dare do that. I’m the dark one, alright? You, my friend, are pure sweetness and I will not accept anything different.”

Y/n’s cheek’s burned as she laughed at her friend’s mock seriousness.

Wanda pressed a chaste kiss into her friend’s cheek before letting her go. “She’s right, babe. I’m the bubbly one, Nat’s the scary one, and you’re the sweet one. It’s just the way it is,” she confirmed matter of factly.

“I love you both so fucking much,” Y/n admitted, suddenly wrapping her arms around her friends. “I’m going to miss you too,” she whispered.

“We love you too,” the redheads said in unison.

“We’ll be back on Friday. Better take good care of her, Barnes,” Natasha threatened, only half joking.

“Mission accepted,” he saluted, half joking back.

“You kids be safe! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Wanda sang as she grabbed her bags and opened the door.

“Ugh, byeee,” Y/n sang back. The door closed and she sighed slowly before turning towards Bucky, who was leaning against the wall.

“So what movie d’you wanna watch first?” he asked, immediately trying to keep Y/n grounded in the present.

“Hmmmmm. What about Footloose?”

They had decided to marathon their favourite eighties movies over the next week and made a list together.

“You got it, doll. Why don’t you set up your laptop wherever you’ll be most comfortable and I’ll make popcorn.”

“Couch okay?”

“‘S perfect,” he smiled.

Three movies, two bowls of popcorn, and a family pack of Super Nibs later, Y/n was groaning against Bucky’s shoulder.

“Uuggghh, I feel so sick. I need to eat some broccoli or something.”

Bucky laughed, “Not sure that’s going to fix all the junk we just ingested.”

“Of course it will! Balance out the garbage with green. It’s science. You can’t argue with science, James.”

God, he loved it when she said his first name. He hated it from anyone else’s lips but his ma’s. And now Y/n’s apparently.

“Science, huh?” He turned his head towards his shoulder to face her.

“Mmhm,” she confirmed, eyes gazing up at him.

“Well let’s order salads then. It’s only… 11:30?! Holy shit, what happened?”

“We binge watched three movies is what happened,” Y/n replied, yawning as she sat up straight to stretch her back and arms.

“You tired? We can just go to bed if you want. I brought my camping mat this time. Unless you want me to sleep in Nat’s room. She said I could, I just thought you might—”

“Floor,” Y/n cut him off. “I’d, uh, it’d be nice if you’re, uh, ok with it,” she sputtered out.

“Works for me. Why don’t you go get ready and I’ll set my bed up.”

“I think I’ll shower first. I can’t remember the last time I showered actually. Oh my god, I can’t believe I just admitted that to you,” she gasped, eyes widening.

“You’re fine, doll. It’s been… quite a week,” he offered sincerely.

She smiled in gratitude. “I’ll leave a towel out for you after. You’re welcome to shower too if you want.”

---

After taking Y/n up on her offer, the two lay in their respective beds, damp hair and biting their bottom lips, waiting for the other to break the silence.

“So—”

“Y/n—”

They finally spoke at the same time.

Laughing, Bucky encouraged her to go first.

“No, no, please. You.”

“I was just, uh, I was going to ask if you’d given any thought to… uh, nevermind.”

“No, what?” Y/n asked, turning onto her side to face Bucky. Her bed was low to the ground making it easy to feel close.

“I just, I want you to know if you, uh, wanted to report it now that you, well, now that you remembered. I just, want you to know I’ll do whatever it takes to help get them—”

“Ugh! First Nat, now you?!” Y/n’s demeanor had completely one-eightied and she pushed herself up so her back was against the wall, knees pulled to her chest. Her comfort position.

“Fuck, Y/n, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Bucky pleaded sitting up.

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she snapped harshly.

Bucky winced, feeling her anger like a slap across the face.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Y/n. Please forget I said anything.”

She rubbed her palms up and down her face before releasing a long sigh.

“Fuck,” she breathed out. “No, I’m sorry. You’re just trying to help. You all are. I’m just…” she trailed off in thought, the silent pause hanging heavy between them, before she found her words. “I feel like I’m losing it, Bucky,” she said with quiet terror.

Bucky felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as he watched the single tear stream down her cheek.

“You’re not losing it. You’re going through something no one should ever have to go through. We all just want you to know you’re not alone, even though I know it probably feels like it.”

Y/n sniffed, suppressing the sob she felt bubbling in her chest. “W-would you hold me? I don’t, I need to feel something else,” she whispered.

“‘Course doll, anything you need.”

Bucky got up slowly, gathering the duvet he’d borrowed from Natasha.

“Is it going to bother you if I, uh, remove this?” He waved his prosthetic gently. “I usually take it off when I’m sleeping.”

“Not at all,” she replied quickly.

The plates whirred as the contact pads released. He set it next to his sleeping mat, then got up to nestle himself between Y/n and the wall. Covering himself first with the borrowed blanket, he pulled Y/n towards him with his flesh arm.

“This ok?” he whispered.

Y/n nodded, huddling into his chest, arms tucked in tightly under her own covers.

Bucky’s mind raced for a moment before going out on a limb. With a tenderness that even surprised himself, he pressed his lips to her forehead.

A warmth flooded through Y/n’s body, soothing her panic and keeping her from drifting into darkness.

“Will you be here when I wake up this time?” she whispered.

Bucky’s heart skipped, realizing she might have been disappointed the last time.

“I promise. Now sleep, doll. I’ve got you,” he breathed into her hairline.

“K,” she smiled, closing her eyes. “Goodnight, Bucky.”

“Goodnight, Y/n,” Bucky replied, closing his own eyes and tightening his arm around her. He may not have been able to protect her before, but he be dammed if he didn’t do all he could to keep her safe now.

Next chapter

194 notes · View notes

fffinnagain · 3 years

Photo

10 Years of Sherlock (TV) AO3 stats!

Sherlock fans, new and old, click below to read a long list of graphs and comments about our communities fanworks over the last 10 years. I scraped AO3 again and demonstrate that:

More creators are writing longer works in 2020

Readers engaged more as the fandom changed after S4

Top ten new tags per year for the last 10 years

And a lot more.

PS the code to gather this data and analyse it can be found way over here.

Activity over 10 years

The last 10 years in the BBC Sherlock fandom have been tumultuous, but this community persists, with engagement from new fans and continued creative output. To commemorate over a decade of squee, I’ve done another scrape of the fandom’s imprint on the Archive of Our Own and will share some insights from the numbers in these plots. A very late update on my post S4 snapshot from 2018.

Note: This analysis is of completed public fanworks only, about 101000 of the 122000 Sherlock (TV) works available at present. This is to remove the late WIP effect, which adds a bulge to the last few months, and out of respect to creators who wish to have their material reserved for other registered AO3 users.

The works are still coming

Counting the number of works posted per day, we can see the peaks associated with each series airing (in UK and US). After that, the number of works continues fairly evenly, 20-30 per day, plus seasonal peaks. This rate is continuing on without a hint of new canon in sight. So who is posting all this work?

Creator-waves, monthly output

Years ago I started plotting creator waves, basically I group fanwork producers by the year they first posted to the fandom and then count how many of this group are active in later time intervals. This lets us get a sense of how long people are contributing and whether new fans are getting the urge to create.

This plot of the Sherlock (TV) fanworks on AO3 shows the standard shape of plump participation in the first year of any given set of creators, followed by a slowly thinning tail as they because less active over time. Turnover is natural in fandoms, with most only posting a work or two within a fairly limited amount of time, while a precious few persist for years. The surprise for me here is that the ratio of new creators is higher in 2020 than it was in 2019. Maybe the excuse of lockdown encouraged more folks to take a turn at creating content.

Another way to look at the output of fan creators on AO3 is to see the total amount of words being shared across all fanworks. The total has been pretty close to 300-400k words per month since 2018! To get a sense of what that means per work, I also plotted the median number of words per fanwork in these monthly sets. The median in higher in the last year than it had been staying for a while.

Reader behaviour: Hits & Kudos & Comments

Fan creators are only part of the story. Stats on engagement are a bit trick to interpret, I’ve got some plots here that tell us something about how works have been engaged with over time.

The obvious first to consider is Hits. Above is the total number of Hits given to works published each month. This is the current totals, not a historical snapshot, so we have a very strong bias towards early works, what we might call the Classics Effect. Works that have been around longer have had the chance to be seen by more people, and in particular those works that become must-read classics in a fandom, extending their exposure through prominence in top ranked works and recommendations.

To cut down on the advantage of the classics, we can also consider median hits per work for each month. As most works get a lot attention when they are first posted and then fade out of sight, the median number of hits reflects instead the ratio of readers to creators, basically how many eyeballs are around to look at the latest work, regardless of status. The median plot shows how the hyper-visibility of the few work available before 2012, and then a more steady curve once the fandom had gotten established on the platform after Series 2. Amazingly, the hit rate for the median work was steady through the big bumps in activity with later series, a 1000 hits for median works between 2013 and 2018, followed by a slow decline. I’d expect the 2020 works to continue gaining for a few months yet, but the median is probably 50-60% of what is was when the show was in production.

Kudos counts and medians show a similar story to hits, but there is a dip down around 2013 for kudos reflects the frenzy of productivity that saw the fandom grow during the Series 2 hiatus. Readers were getting spoiled! From the airing of Series 3 (2014) until a year following Series 4 (2018), the median work received an even 60ish kudos and 1000 hits, a niche audience that decreased to 50/750 through 2018-2019. The numbers of 2020 suggest a smaller community of readers again, though these numbers may still rise a bit in the next few months before the median works are forgotten.

The statistic that tells a different story is Comments. Looking at the total comments counts, there isn’t a drop after Series 3 (2014). Instead, the fandom compensated for changing numbers with more feedback and discussion attached to works. This is reflected in the median comment rate as well, which shows seasonal variation but doesn’t really drop off until 2020.

It’s remarkable that without fresh canon we continue to have new creators contributing to the fandom, and while that may be outpacing the readership somewhat, the standard of engagement has been very high. One could say the fandom is chugging along quite nicely!

What about Tags

So, with all that turnover and shifting population, is there a change in the kinds of works being posted? We can look at tags, all tags and freeform tags, to see if there were any meaningful trends.

First up, I did a creator-wave like analysis of works just for tags, to see how tags continue to be used after being introduced. Unlike the creators, tags clearly persist for years. After 2015, it looks like the core tag set has been established, with very few tags persisting in usage per subsequent year.

This graph reports numbers over time that are not proportional to the number of works or creators active. Instead, works on AO3 have been getting more and more tags over the years, with the average steadily growing from 5 in 2011 to 15 in 2020, with freeform tags (not characters or ships) from 2 to 8.

To get a sense of fic and tagging culture changes over time, I counted the most popular NEW tags of each year (wave). Note: this analysis is using exact matches, not the networked associations of tag meanings wrangled into AO3 today, so some things that pop up aren’t new concepts but instead newly popular TAGs for whatever they represent.

2011: 2752 (First year, so all solid stuff, tags that continue to be popular forever)

Angst 323

Fluff 232

Humor 216

Hurt/Comfort 188

Romance 168

Friendship 168

Crossover 138

Crack 121

Alternate Universe 119

First Time 106

2012: 11637 (still early, first references to Series 2)

Fluff and Angst 145

Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall 97

Kid Sherlock 54

Puppies 50

Sad 48

Episode: s02e01 A Scandal in Belgravia 47

Mathematics 42

Season 2 spoilers 38

Omega Verse 38

Feels 38

2013: 16176 (Omegaverse nomenclature is growing, Top/Bottom terminology, new challenges)

Alpha Sherlock 65

Omega John 61

30 Day OTP Challenge 59

Tumblr: letswritesherlock 56

Top John 49

Sherlock Holmes Returns after Reichenbach 44

Bottom Sherlock 40

Reichenbach Angst 30

Don't copy work to another site 29

Age Regression/De-Aging �� 27

2014: 19256 (Mostly Series 3 related

Episode: s03e03 His Last Vow 249

Episode: s03e02 The Sign of Three 167

Post-His Last Vow 149

His Last Vow Spoilers 142

Sherlock Series 3 Spoilers 128

2000 AU 100

The Sign of Three Spoilers 74

Fatlock 72

Post-The Sign of Three 66

Post-Season/Series 03 57

2015: 14272 (New challenges, new prominent Sherlolly tags)

Chats 47

International Fanworks Day 2015 34

Watson's Woes July Writing Prompts 2015 27

S3 referenced 25

Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper Kissing 22

English Accent 22

Sound cloud 19

Eventual Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper 19

Protective John Watson 18

but not that kind of graphic 17

2016: 13517 (New stylistic tagging, TAB references, a lot of epilepsy?)

Slowwww burn 92

John Watson Loves Sherlock Holmes 37

Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson 33

post-tab 30

JME 27

Post TAB 25

Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy 23

Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2016 19

epileptic 19

fraternal love 17

2017: 15067 (Series 4 tags and challenges)

Episode: s04e02 The Lying Detective 133

Episode: s04e01 The Six Thatchers 93

Post TFP 73

Sherlock Series 4 Spoilers 69

Episode: s04e03 The Final Problem 60

Post-Episode: s04e02 The Lying Detective 55

Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2017 50

Post S4 48

Sherstrade Month 2017 44

31 Days of Porn Challenge 2017 41

2018: 10733 (Lost of new challenges, seasonal and weekly)

Towel Day 2018 64

Mystrade Valentines Calendar 2018 25

Kinktober 2018 23

Pregnant Molly Hooper 23

Soft Smut Sunday 23

Tom Robbins 23

Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2018 21

Inktober 2018 20

established universe 16

Always1895 16

2019: 7785 (More prompts, and character attitudes)

Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2019 25

221B Autumn Challenge 21

A-Z Christmas Prompt 19

KatsJohnlockXmas2019 16

Whumptober 11

Poor Greg Lestrade 11

Kinktober 2019 10

Dissonance 10

John Watson is a Good Friend 9

Sleepy Sherlock Holmes 8

2020: 8074 (Not all COVID related, thank heavens)

Mystrade Monday 59

COVID-19 48

Coronavirus 46

Mystrade Monday Prompts 40

Whumptober 2020 36

warning for a covid-19 setting 33

Flufftober prompts 2020 24

Do Not Translate 24

they're all right they're just at home 23

Granada Sherlolly 21

A little note from looking across all freeform tags, not just the new ones, we see a curious pattern with regards to two actions: First Kiss and Anal Sex. They appear amongst the most common tags as of 2014, neck in neck for two years, than Anal Sex drops off the top ten in 2016. From there out, First Kiss stays in the top 5 from that point on, while anal sex appears at rank 9 from 2017-2019 and is gone again in 2020. This probably says something about the fandom, somehow.

Bravo for making it to the end and thank you for reading!

Questions/comments welcome.

#Fandom stats #Sherlock #AO3 #Graphs #python

336 notes · View notes

actress4him · 3 years

Text

Obsession I - Again

(Day 10 for Whumptober 2021)

My brain gifted me with this new whumpee/scenario mid-September. I protested at first, but finally gave in. So here you go, the start of a new lady whump series that I have been teasing for a few weeks now.

Next | Masterlist

Fandom: Original work

Warnings: lady whumpee with male whumper, creepy/intimate whumper, strangulation, noncon touch (non sexual but creepy), kidnapping

No. 10 - OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

hospital | flare-up | ice chips

The beat of the music vibrates her feet through the soles of her wedges and echoes through her chest. It’s a bit loud, in her opinion. But one look at Devin and it’s obvious he’s having the time of his life, whooping and laughing on the dance floor, and he’s the birthday boy, after all.

A small smile turns her lips as she watches him snatch Janaysia by the waist and spin her, all while she’s slapping his arm and laughing uncontrollably. Yeah. They’re having fun. She’d worried that having such a huge party at this downtown hotel would be overkill, that Devin would protest, but apparently it was just her anxiety acting up again.

While the two of them are thoroughly occupied, she slips away, down the hall, to the restrooms. Washes her hands when she’s done, tries not to look at her reflection in the wall to wall mirror. There are no paper towels and she hates the thought of the germs the dryers could breed, so she shakes off as much water as she can into the sink before discreetly wiping her fingers in the folds of her dress.

Something feels off in the hallway.

She’s just being paranoid, of course. There are people milling around nearby, so it’s not like she’s completely alone. Still, she doesn’t waste any time in heading back toward the ballroom, toward her friends.

At the end of the hall, one of Devin’s many friends stops her to rave about the party and about how good she looks and has she lost weight? She plasters on the bright smile she’s perfected and replies that she’s not sure she wouldn’t be surprised, but thanks for the compliment she wishes no one had noticed.

Thankfully they don't linger long. None of Devin and Janaysia’s friends really know how to interact with her much.

A smooth, warm pair of hands slide over her eyes from behind.

“Guess who.”

The voice is too soft to recognize. Her heart is in her throat and she’s not sure she’ll have a voice but she puts on the smile again and says, “Dev?”

Hoping.

Praying.

The owner of the hands chuckles, and she stops breathing.

“Not quite. Maybe it’d be easier if I did this…”

One hand slides over to cover both eyes at once while the other meanders down, cups her throat, thumb stroking over the delicate skin until it finds the perfect spot and presses in, just so.

The fact that she’s choking feels like nothing compared to the way her mind is shorting out.

No.

No no no no please no, please…

His lips ghost over the shell of her ear, breath fluttering the carefully curled tendrils of hair that hang there. “Hello, beautiful. Did you miss me?”

This can’t be happening.

Please.

Not again.

The hand that covers her eyes moves, leaving her blinking in the dim overhead lights, moving instead to brush her cheek, pinch her chin, smooth her hair back from her forehead. All while the thumb on her throat presses, presses.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been far too long. I’ve been planning tonight for a while now, and I’m just so excited that it’s finally here.”

There’s too much shock for tears to fall. Her breath stutters through her constricted throat, face burning, heart and thoughts racing in a synchronized repetition of no no no no please no no please -

“So. Are you going to come nicely with me to the elevator? Or are you going to put up a fuss? Because you know what happens if you put up a fuss.”

He doesn’t wait for an answer. Answers aren’t allowed, anyway. Finally releasing her throat, he wraps his hand around her bare arm and tugs, not hard, just enough that her feet have to move or she’ll fall over. They stumble forward before finding their gait, following his steps woodenly.

His fingers burn against her skin.

The hallway is deserted. She can’t turn her head to look around, but her inner chant turns into a plea for someone, anyone, to notice. To see. To stop this before it happens again.

No one does.

#whumptober2021 #no.10 #oops i did it again #oc #fic #lady whump #lady whumpee #creepy/intimate whumper #strangulation #nonconsensual touching #kidnapping #Obsession fic #cadence the whumpee #new oc #whump series #whump #whump writing #original fiction

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calltomuster · 2 years

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2021 Fic Review

thanks for the tags, @hellowkatey, @willowworkswithwords, @the-last-kenobi, and @indigostars!!

total number of completed works: 24

total word count: 203k!!

looking back did you write more, less, or the expected amount of fic this year?: uhhh??? holy shit??? 203k is so many words??? I know other people write more, but to me that is insane! it really added up so quickly.

your own favorite story this year?: I'm very sorry to people to follow me/know me because this story is the only thing I ever talk about, but my favorite story this past year was definitely The Moments That Time Remembered.

did you take any writing risks this year?: I did!! TMTTR was a big risk for me because I'd never written or posted anything longer than 4k max (TMTTR ended up at 71k), and I had never done a multichapter before I started writing. I was also in a few exchanges this year for the first time (and ran one too!), and that was awesome!

do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?: biggest goal is to start and finish the sequel to TMTTR, which will be called The Moments That Time Forgot. I'm only in the outlining process of it right now, but it's an extensive outline and will be a great blueprint for me to write much quicker that I did for the first fic, which took me about 16 months to write.

most popular story of the year?: uh. also The Moments That Time Remembered. I'm sorry for talking about it so much!! but it was undeniably my most popular fic this year, coming in at over 1100 kudos currently, the most I've ever gotten.

story most under-appreciated?: I'm gonna cheat a bit and say the four fics in my Angstpril series! I put a lot of work into those fics (wrote over 30k during my final exam period!) and they each only barely broke 100 kudos. which is still a good number, I'm not complaining! two of these fics were put on one of GFFA's rec lists, which was the most fun heart attack I've had in a while, but still not much engagement.

most fun story to write?: probably Healing Hands, Healing Heart! It's a fic in the TMTTR verse that is essentially just babywan whump for 3.5k words and that is my SHIT, I'm telling you I basically just wrote TMTTR so I could have gobs and gobs of babywan whump, so that one was very fun. also any of the treats I wrote for people in exchanges! I love giving treats!!! OH WAIT AND ALL OF THE SERVICE ANIMAL BOGA AU FICS!!!! AHHH HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT THOSE?!?! THOSE WIN!!!! SO MUCH FUN!! CHECK THEM OUT!!

most unintentionally telling?: uhhhh. ???. hm. oh, I guess maybe instead i took care of you, which is a service animal boga au fic with a much older obi-wan who is struggling with a progressive neurologic disease like dementia, who gets loving help from everyone around him. while I was writing this fic, my grandpa passed away from dementia, and I didn't do it intentionally but I think I channeled some feelings in there.

biggest disappointment?: all year I told myself I would do whumptober this year and then I just,,, didn't. I was so busy at college. I think I just did like one fic for whumptober. oof.

biggest surprise?: seeing that I've posted 203k words this year. absolutely incomprehensible to me. to put it into perspective, I've been on ao3 for 7 years at this point and before this year, my record yearly word count was like 22k total.

my favorite part of fandom this year?: DEFINITELY MEETING PEOPLE ON DISCORD!! the lovely @hellowkatey and I started a discord server called the kenobi kafé and it's brought so many feelings into my life. love you all!!!! even if you cause me pain!!! 😂

no-pressure tags for: @swranger @coalmine301 @catboydogma @calika @ewanmcgregorismyhomeboy12 + anyone else who wants to share!!

#personal #tag games

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highfunctioningflailgirl · 3 years

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Whumptober 2021

Prompt #7: Helplessness

Balancing on his one good leg, Strike leaned into the shower stall and turned the water on, waiting for the meagre stream to warm up to a decent temperature before stepping inside. Or hop, rather. The small flat he’d been able to afford on his ridiculous army disability pension wasn’t designed for one-legged tenants, and the shower tub wasn’t level with the floor of the tiny bathroom. When he’d finally moved out of Nick and Ilsa’s guest room two weeks ago, declaring that he would be able to handle life as an amputee without assistance from now on, Nick had insisted on at least adding a handhold inside the shower stall, and he’d bought one of those ugly shower chairs they’d had in the hospital.

“Don’t start whining at me about dignity,” he’d forestalled Strike’s protest. “This is about safety. Stuff it!”

Strike had removed the chair from the shower as soon as Nick had been out the door.

The water running pleasantly warm now, Strike firmly grabbed the handhold with one hand and the sturdy shower fixture with the other and hopped inside, onto the anti-slip mat Nick had also laid out. Strike had done this before; it was a tried-and-true procedure after two weeks in his new flat. Until today.

With a sharp crack, the shower fixture he was holding onto suddenly gave and tore out of the wall. Strike was still holding on to the handhold with his other hand, but he lost his balance, his brain forgetting for one startled second that he only had one foot left. He came down hard, smacking the back of his head against the wall and landing on his arse, all three-and-a-half limbs askew. A few broken tiles rained down on him, and the showerhead and hose along with them.

“Ow, shit!”

He cursed, trying to gather his bearings. His head was spinning, and his buttocks and right hip hurt. Blinking, he shifted a little to take his weight off the most painful spot where the showerhead was lodged against his lower back. He almost slipped again on his hands, the mat having come loose during the fall, now partially bunched up between his legs.

The shower was still running, spewing water out through the open sliding door with Strike’s good leg now sticking out as well. He pulled it back inside and tried to get his one foot under him. Pushing against the floor with his hands, his stump waving about uselessly, he tried to get up.

It didn’t work.

He was too tangled up, his large body too jammed in the stall, his sense of balance too off, the pain in his hip too bad. From the other side of the room, the banished shower chair seemed to jeer at him, his crutches leaning against the wall right next to it, out of reach.

“For fuck’s sake!”

Strike looked at his truncated leg, its scars still purple and chafed in a few spots. Then he looked at his own nakedness, his flaccid dick between his legs. And then he began to cry.

He’d become used to feeling exposed and embarrassed in hospital. In those first few days and weeks, when an infection had added to the fallout of his injuries, he hadn’t been able to do anything himself. Peeing into a catheter, getting sponge-baths in bed and being spoon-fed, he’d quickly learned that dignity was a privilege he would have to regain, one-legged step by step. He’d worked on it, fighting for every bit of independence he could reach.

But even then, he’d always been surrounded by helpful hands. Nurses, physiotherapists, then Nick and Ilsa had always been close by to compensate for his disability. He’d felt his limits, for certain, and he’d raged against them in endless frustration. But here and now, in a heap in his shower tub, all alone, unable to even pull himself up and get to his phone, he felt completely and utterly helpless.

Everything crashed down on him: his bravado of the recent weeks, his determination to hold it together even when it got difficult - he was SIB, made of tough stuff - and his insistence that he could make it on his own. It all fell apart, and everything hurt.

Strike buried his face in his hands and let the tears flow.

When his sobs began to subside, he became aware of a noise in his flat. Alarmed, he lifted his head. He’d closed the bathroom door and even locked it, by habit, defending every bit of privacy he could get. Steps approached. Only two people had keys to his flat: Nick and Ilsa and the cleaning woman Ilsa had insisted on hiring for him.

God, please, don’t let it be her.

It wasn’t. A knock on the door followed, and Strike heard Nick’s voice, muffled through the wood.

“Oggy? You in there?”

Strike wiped his face.

“Yeah,” he said hoarsely.

“You alright, mate? You didn’t answer the door, so I let myself in. Can I come in?”

Nick was already turning the knob, but the door was locked.

“Oggy! What’s going on in there? You aren’t wanking, are you?”

Strike, despite himself, gave a half-sob, half-laugh.

Outside, Nick paused at the strange noise.

“Listen, unless you’ve grown fins or a dragon’s tail since the last time I helped you get in the shower, there’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Let me in?”

Strike heaved a quivering sigh, unable not to smile a little at Nick’s off-hand remark.

“I can’t,” he finally answered. His voice sounded steadier now. “I slipped in the shower and fell, and now I can’t get up. I think you have to-”

With a crash, the bathroom door flew open, lock and jamb splintering, and Nick stumbled inside the room, catching himself against the sink. The door swung back on its one remaining hinge, creaking decrepitly.

“... find the spare key on the rack,” Strike finished his sentence, flooded by a sudden feeling of hilarity that made him want to both laugh and cry at the same time.

Nick stood staring at him, panting.

“Are you hurt?”

He leaned inside the stall to turn off the water, running his eyes over Strike as he did so.

“Just my pride, I think,” Strike answered, buoyed and strangely touched by his friend’s unassuming, unwavering presence in this precarious moment, in his life.

“Help me up?”

Nick did. Strike pushing, Nick pulling, they maneuvered him onto the chair that Nick had grabbed and placed just outside the shower stall.

“God, you’re heavy,” Nick complained.

“Are you calling me fat?”

“I would never.”

Nick took a towel from the rack and spread it over Strike’s lap. He grabbed another and threw it across Strike’s shoulders. Then he proceeded to give him a once-over, checking for injuries.

“Oggy?” he said, standing behind Strike and palpating the lump at the back of his head.

Strike grimaced. “Yeah?”

“Use the bloody shower chair next time, alright?”

Strike nodded, guilt mixing with warmth in his chest.

“Yeah,” he said, meaning it this time. “I will.”

(You can also read and comment on this fic on AO3:)

#whumptober2021 #cormoran strike #bbc strike #fanfic #day 7 #prompt 7 #helplessness #whump #emotional hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #disability cw #nakedness cw

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humandisasterskywalker · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) -

All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker

Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Torture, Whump, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, No Beta We Die Like Clones Series:

Part 1 of Whumptober 2021

Summary:

Whumptober 2021 Day 1 - ALL TRUSSED UP AND STILL NOWHERE TO GO

“You’ll have to let go” / barbed wire / bound

Anakin was used to being captured. The way his master was determined to spring every trap had resulted in it being a common occurrence in their apprenticeship.

He was confident Obi Wan would come to rescue him. After all, he always had. The Force Suppression cuffs however, they were new.

If he was honest with himself, Anakin had got used to being captured by this point. Obi Wans mantra that the best way to negotiate a trap was to spring it had gotten the two of them into this kind of situation too many times before. It had happened too many times to be a novelty.

Obi Wan would be along to break him out soon. He always did. He wasn’t worried.

The Force Suppression cuffs clasped around his wrists though, he was not used to them.

He didn’t know if a new scientist had joined the separatist cause and developed the technology, or someone had defected from the order bringing it with them. It couldn’t be Dooku. If he had wanted to use them surely he would have introduced them when the war had first started. Anakin stared at the blank walls of the cell.

He hoped Obi Wan wouldn’t take too long to reach him. Experience had proved that lone captivity was nothing if not boring.

***

His captors seemed intent on ignoring him. The only real contact he was getting with any sentient being was with the guard that brought his rare meals. He never talked. Never responded to Anakins attempts to engage him, whether through his brand of humour or insults to prompt him into a fight. Nothing worked. He was craving some kind of human interaction. Anything that could add interest to his day.

Anakin had no windows in the cell. He couldn’t tell exactly how much time had past but counting meals made him think it had been at least a standard week. Maybe more. His arms were hurting from the cuffs, his shoulders stiff from holding them in the same position. What was keeping Obi Wan? He had never taken more than a few days to come after him before.

Doubt crossed his mind. Maybe Obi Wan was only willing to come after him when he was his Padawan. Maybe now he had been Knighted he didn’t think it was worth it. He wasn’t his responsibility anymore…

No! Anakin thought. He would come. He was just spiralling from the lack of conversation. He never could deal well being left alone with his thoughts Obi Wan would come.

He would.

He had to.

A clanking sound echoed outside the room. Anakin scurried towards the hatch in the door. Maybe today would be the day the guard would crack. The Dura-steel slid back to reveal two mechanical arms.

Roger Roger!” The droid droned before withdrawing.

Anakins heart dropped. There went any hopes of a conversation.

***

If you asked Anakin the whole charade was his captor’s fault.

It was them who had decided to leave him alone for so long. He could only be trusted for a short amount of time before he came out with some kind of scheme.

The problem was that his well planned escape attempt had not worked.

Not in the slightest.

He hadn’t made even two corridors until he had run into a patrol. He had not realised how much he had come to rely on his connection to the force. It had covered up holes in his plans before.

Not that the quality of the plan was his fault. It was the separatists. The ones who had left him alone with nothing to do but think. And Obi Wan. For leaving him here.

The droids that dragged him back through the hallways of the ship didn’t seem interested in whose blame it was though. They didn’t seem interested in his comfort either. His legs had given out after the injuries he had suffered in his recapture had got the better of him. But the droids didn’t slow, continuing to drag him along the floor

They weren’t heading back to his cell Anakin thought. These corridors were different. Darker. They were going deeper into the ship. Where could they be taking him? Maybe at last he would be able to work out exactly why he was being held here. At least that would mean he got some answers.

The door slid open before him with a mechanical beep revealing a bed surrounded by mechanical equipment.

The whole room had a disconcerting hum. As if it was alive with electricity. He was sure if he could feel the force it would have felt dark.

He subconscious reached for his bond, feeling a deep pang of loneliness when he found nothing in its place.

He was wrestled into the bed and strapped down

This was not going to be good.

***

Electric shocks jolted into his body.

“Tell us,” the masked man growled. “The plans for the defence of Christophsis !”

The jolts stopped and Anakin felt his body sag.

He hurt. All over. He desperately tried to conceal it. He ran over the Jedi code in his head. He couldn’t let his emotions show.

He was serene.

He was peaceful.

He felt no pain.

Except he did. He really, really did.

He kept his mouth shut. He was not going to risk his troopers lives by revealing anything. And Obi Wan. His master was due on Christophsis. He wouldn’t condemn him by telling them anything. Even though he hadn’t come for him.

He wasn’t coming Anakin realised. He was going to be left here alone. He’d probably die here.

“Very well,” The man said. His mouth contorted into a smile through the mask. “We will have to do this the hard way.”

He jolted the switch down and Anakins body ignited.

He couldn’t see.

He couldn’t hear.

He couldn’t feel anything apart from the pain coursing through him.

His mouth was open but he couldn’t even hear himself scream.

The world was white. The world was pain.

Let me die he begged to himself just let me die rather than live through this.

The electricity shut off and the world slowly returned to him.

The man was hunched over him now. His face was barely above his.

“Christophsis Jedi. Tell us about Christophsis and this will all be over.”

I don’t know!” Anakin sobbed. “I don’t know anything about Christophsis. I didn’t even know you were interested in it .”

The man’s smile seemed to get even crueller.

“I don’t believe you Jedi. See we have sources that suggest you are one of the key Generals for the Christosphis campaign. I guess I must try harder to break you.”

Sources Anakin thought distantly was their a spy in the order. But before he had the chance to swell on it further his world became pain again.

Why didn’t you come? He thought desperately before he lost his grasp on consciousness. Obi Wan, why did you chose to leave me here?

***

Anakin didn’t look up when the door opened. The door opening only resulted in pain now. Maybe if he pretended to not look the door wouldn’t have opened.

That his torture wasn’t about to resume.

Not that he wasn’t in pain now. Ever since his escape attempt, he had been restrained even within the room, his hands cuffed on the wall above his head.

His arms hurt. The only break they ever got was when he was taken away to that chamber, if you could even call that rest. He was so tired. His hopes of rescue had almost completely gone.

He still had faith in his Master. He had to. It was the only thing he had left. He just wanted it all to be over.

He could see an electric blue light ignite behind his eyelids.

He knew that light.

He was sure.

His eyes flew open.

Obi Wan was standing in the doorway.

He felt relief course through him. He didn’t know how it would play out. He didn’t know how they’d get out. But his Master was here now. That meant everything would be fine.

Obi Wan moved forward quickly, lightsaber swinging straight through the cuffs. Anakin felt his weight give way, the pressure finally released from his arms. He fell to the floor. Or he would have done it if he wasn’t caught. Obi Wan lowered him gently, hand caressing his face.

“Dear One, what did they do to you?”

Anakin opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the rush as the force returned to him.

He could feel the hum again, the way the world seemed to speak to him. He reached for the bond, clumsy and desperate but he grasped hold of it as soon as he found it.

He felt Obi Wans worry.

He felt the sense of hopelessness Obi Wan had suffered.

He felt the determination Obi Wan had felt.

“You looked for me.” Anakin croaked. “You didn’t stop looking for me.”

Obi Wan looked devastated. “Of course not Padawan. I would never stop looking for you.”

He glared at the cuffs. “Those, abominations meant it took far longer, but I would never…” Obi Wan stared into Anakin’s eyes “never leave you behind Padawan.”

“Am not a Padawan.” Anakin tried to joke.

Obi Wan didn’t crack a smile. “You will always be my Padawan dear one. I will always care for you.”

Anakin smiled, feeling himself being lifted into Obi Wans arms.

“Knew you’d come for me.” He murmured. “They told me you wouldn’t but knew they would.”

“What did they do?” Obi Wans voice was flat. Carefully controlled.

“Electricity…” Anakin said. He was fighting off the darkness again. He desperately fought himself, trying to keep awake. “They wanted to know about Christophsis. Know about you. Couldn’t let them know that Master.”

Obi Wans expression was dark. “They won’t get you again Padawan. I swear.”

Anakin felt a pulse of reassurance as he fell back into unconsciousness.

He was safe.

Obi Wan would protect him.

He was safe.

#whumptober2021 #no.1 #bound #star wars #star wars prequels #fic #implied torture #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #look i write #its been 84 years #but i have written again

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luninosity · 3 years

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2020 fanfic round-up post!

My general sense, before I start actually finding fics etc, is that I wrote about the same or more words overall in 2020, versus 2019...possibly more fanfic, but more original, too...possibly less Stucky (again) and more Evanstan? It’s also been a wonderfully collaborative year, both pro and fanfic! I love collaboration, and this year I got to play with brilliant friends both old and new!

And, surprisingly, probably I wrote slightly more Cherik - and I finished off TWO series I've had unfinished for *years*, one Cherik (the ‘compromise’ stories) and one Evanstan (Like Sugar, finally, completely, at last) - so I feel accomplished! (Not 'rain on tin,' though. Dammit.)

And I wrote for one fandom (Leverage) I'd never written for before! And of course there's the whole glorious massive epic that's Character Bleed, published in 2020, though I've been working on that for a while!

I’ll make a separate post for original fic, though. So...on to...

The Fanfic! Stucky Whumptober 2020 - Stucky Edition, M overall (individual chapters vary), 11,473 words. The collection of individual (some linked) shorts from the Whumptober challenge! This was fun, if tiring - I wrote more fanfic in one month than I had in ages! Lots of hurt/comfort, near-death experiences, etc.... Evanstan Evanstan Round Robin 2020, E,12,497 words overall, but my chapter's 1,313 words. The annual holiday collaborative masterpiece! So full of wonderful emotion and pining this year - such a delight sharing this love and creation and fandom with everyone! would anybody recognize, M (mostly for implied dynamics/Sebastian's fantasies), 3,329 words. The meet-cute at an obscure art-house movie AU! my best, to keep you satisfied, E, 8,058 words. Co-authored with the marvelous @thebestpersonherelovesbucky! Delightful collaborative established-relationship porn-with-emotions fun, in which Sebastian's earned Chris's undivided attention. Sea(son) the Moment, E, 4,606 words. Co-authored with the splendid @musette22 & @paper-storm ! Quarantine coping mechanisms, otherwise known as: that fic in which Sebastian watches Chris's internet cooking videos, and falls in love. Color In The Picture, E, 6,033 words. Unrepentant fluffy loving kink, with soft helpless Seb role-play kink. Lift You Up Over Everything, E, 11,410 words. The semi-sequel to the above - can stand alone, but it's what happens next - and my 300th work (currently) on AO3! Also probably among the kinkiest fics I've written, what with the sounding and watersports and all. Extra Sugar - My Evanstan epic fic-baby! I added chapter 32 - the final chapter! in 2020, which brings the total to 112,579 words - which means, doing some math, that's + 5,046 words! One of my 2020 goals was to finish off this series, completely, entirely - and I have, and we're done. I'm still so amazed by this whole universe that I somehow made, and by the fandom response to it. *hugs you all* A Place Not Far Away, E, 38,160 words. My Evanstan autumn fluff (and porn!) fic! I'm so thrilled people love this one; it was one of those stories that just wanted to be written, and kept flowing, scene after scene. Whumptober 2020 - Evanstan Edition, E overall (individual chapters vary), 16,050 words. The collection of individual (some linked) shorts from the Whumptober challenge! More hurt/comfort, near-death experiences, etc.... Cherik Whumptober 2020 - Cherik Edition, M, 1,415 words. Just a little sick!Charles hurt/comfort fic - ah, the memories, so much like one of my very first-ever fanfics! And Heaven Only Knows, E, 6.653 words. Finishing off the compromise series, which has been in progress since 2013! I'm so proud of just...well...finishing it. And I like it - it's an XMFC fix-it, of course, because the series is, with Dom/sub dynamics and fun with powers, and maybe my writing style's shifted a little over the years, but that's okay - it's a good ending, full of hope. Leverage Whumptober 2020 - Leverage Edition, T, 2,163 words. I'd never written Leverage fic before, but I do love the show and this trio, and a friend asked, so I tried! I really like how it came out - I love the dynamic here.

I think that’s a pretty good year in fanfic - didn’t get to ‘rain on tin’ (grrrr...priority in 2021! I swear! but you can’t force it...) but I did finish 2 out of 3 big things, some of which have been in progress much longer! And I tried writing some new characters, and writing with some new friends - and some old ones, of course! <3

I’ll make an original fic post later, too, but mostly I wanted to say thank you to all of you - you’re why I love fandom, the sense of community and shared love and creativity and passion and generosity and mutual joy. Thanks for sharing it all. <3333

#fanfic #fandom #my fic #love you #cherik #evanstan #stucky #leverage #2020 round-up #like sugar

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

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HB4-29/Whumptober day 7

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3.

AO3

Masterlist

Sam burrito with forehead kisses requested by @endless-whump and @butwhatifyouwrite

Content warning: permanent injury, nerve damage, past torture, mild dissoci@tion, flashbacks, pain medication mention, self-blame

Sam groaned and rolled onto their back. Finally – finally, after almost two weeks, how did Isaac cope with this? – they could lie on their back without pain shooting through them. The whip marks were healing. The wound in their arm was healing.

The nerve they were almost certain was severed, was not.

An afternoon breeze rustled the curtains in their room, making the room waver light-dark-light-dark as they billowed in and out. Their gaze moved slowly over the ceiling, the thirteen dark wood beams that stood out against the white. Thirteen, from one end of the room to the other. They’d counted them so many times in the time they’d spent holed up there.

It was… exhausting, sometimes, to be around the others. Not that the others were doing anything wrong; it was just so hard to look at each of them and seen pain tighten in their eyes every time they looked at Sam. Watching the guilt drag at them all, especially Isaac, with his own wounds healing to scars, was like trying to tear a bullet out of their chest with their bare hands. Never fully sure if they would tear something vital as they did. Wondering if maybe the guilt was something that would stay buried in this family forever. Something they should just get used to, learn to breathe past.

They couldn’t take the guilt. Couldn’t take the way everyone’s hands would jerk towards them when they went to stand, as if they needed something to help them balance every time. They couldn’t take how the others would trail off in the middle of a sentence, their gaze fixed on Sam, as if stunned into silence by the magnitude of Sam’s pain. It was more than frustrating, it was maddening.

Edrissa treated them the same as she always did.

Sam’s stomach growled. I wonder when dinner is?

Their stomach growled again, and louder, as if protesting the notion of waiting until dinner to eat. Sam groaned and pushed themself upright.

They were getting better at it, now, moving with only one hand. Their right arm was still slinged, and the surgical cut Finn had made was nearly closed. The infection was gone. Finn was encouraging them to do small, simple exercises, more just letting their arm hang and slowly using their left hand to move the arm in its socket. Finn said it would make healing progress better.

I don’t think it’s going to get much better than this.

Slowly, they stood, savoring the feeling of the rug beneath their feet. They’d slept on concrete for three weeks, the only respite being when Colleen had forced them to kneel on the soft plush rugs wherever she chose to chain them down. Chain them down and strangle them or beat them or drown them or whip them or—

They shuddered and shook their head. No. No. Can’t fall in. They adjusted their arm in its sling – made of very nice, light fabric, and blue, Edrissa made it for them herself – and walked to the door. They pulled it open and were greeted by the soft brrp? of the black cat sitting right outside.

Sam smiled and bent to pet him. “Hey, Nata,” they said softly. Nata pushed with fierce adoration into Sam’s hand. “Hey, sweet boy.” They straightened, and steadied themself against the wall as the hallway went black for a moment. They breathed slowly through their mouth as their vision returned.

They wandered down the hall towards the kitchen, shivering slightly in their thin shirt and shorts. The house stayed so cool during the day, even though summer was around the corner. They didn’t mind, though. It made it easier to sleep. The heat made Sam’s wounds itchy. They rounded the corner into the living room and stopped.

Isaac and Gavin sat on the couch, their heads together as they looked at the puzzle on the coffee table. A new one – Finn and Ellis had been finishing a puzzle about every three or four days since they’d arrived north, and Gray had an entire closet filled with more. This one was of a seascape, the sun glinting off the water in a thousand different colors if you looked closely at the brushstrokes of the painting that had been printed onto the pieces. It was the hardest one yet, mostly blues and greens, with only a single sailboat to break the design of the ocean waves.

“Ellis will kill you if you mess with that puzzle,” Sam said with a gentle smile.

Isaac’s head snapped up, and his look of shock and near-terror at being caught near the puzzle made Sam burst into a snort of laughter. The laughter drew out into a groan as their cracked ribs throbbed in pain.

Isaac shot to his feet and took a step towards Sam before they could even draw a breath.

“I’m okay,” they gasped, holding their hand out in front of them. Isaac hesitated and fell back a step. “Wh-what are you guys up to? Other than taking your lives into your hands breathing on Ellis’s puzzle?” Sam’s lips quirked into an unsteady smile.

Isaac rubbed the back of his neck. “Um… no, pretty much just that. Just finished up sparring practice with Vera and Edrissa, and I just… kinda zoned out looking at the puzzle. It’s nice. I don’t know if it looks like the actual ocean, but…” He shrugged. “What’re you up to?”

“Um… I was gonna get some food,” Sam said, glancing behind Isaac and meeting Gavin’s gaze for a moment. For once… for the first time since they reached the north again… Gavin didn’t look down and away. Warmth and relief spread faintly through Sam’s chest, like bracing for pain and receiving none.

“I was getting kinda hungry, too,” Isaac said, and glanced at Gavin behind him. “Gav, you want—” Isaac’s mouth snapped shut and he flushed a brilliant shade of red. Gavin’s cheeks flushed to match, and Sam could feel heat on their face, too.

Gav? How did we get here? They bit their lip as for a moment, a memory swept through them, Gavin grinning as he forced their head back where they sat in a chair, their hands tied behind them, holding a knife to their throat as they sobbed and pleaded…

Sam shook their head to clear it. It was a slippery day today, and Sam kept sliding back into their memories.

But I don’t hurt as much today. Please let me stay here…

Gavin got to his feet, his cheeks still pink, his hands buried deep in his pockets. “I could, um… V-Vera showed me how to make eggs benedict last weekend. I could… um…”

Sam’s stomach grumbled loudly in the quiet room. The three of them burst out laughing. Sam winced and bit down hard on their lip.

“Eggs benedict for lunch,” Sam said tightly, counting their heartbeats and waiting for the pain to fade. It was all they could do anymore, now that Finn was slowly weaning them off the morphine and Vicodin. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six… Slowly, the pain in their ribs eased. On the next breath, it would hurt again, but in this precise moment…

Appreciating precise moments free of pain was the only thing that had kept Sam going for almost two weeks.

They looked up at Gavin and Isaac. They were both looking at Sam with almost identical expressions: worry, grief… guilt. Both of them, blaming themselves for the pain Sam felt every day. Both of them, the reason Sam was alive.

Sam couldn’t push that little voice down forever, though: the voice that said that if Gavin had never hurt them in the first place… and if Isaac had killed Gavin in his warehouse, when he was unconscious and bloody…

They gritted their teeth. They hated those thoughts that had crept through their mind more and more, ever since they’d been shot. The pain was poisoning them, and twisted, bitter thoughts had crawled out of that festering place inside them that never felt any relief. Maybe if they had just a day without pain, an hour, a minute, they could push those thoughts away, sweep them out of their mind completely. But they hurt, they hurt, and the only thing that made them feel better were the pills that were slowly, slowly being taken away.

The pills, and Nata. And seeing everyone safe. Seeing Tori when she was herself, tucked under Vera’s arm with a fragile smile. And feeling the wind on their face after three weeks of chilly, stagnant air in their cell. And tasting real food again, Gray’s cookies and Vera’s spicy beef stew and Edrissa’s fresh-baked bread. And looking out over the lake, bigger even than the lake at their first foster home, where they’d chased frogs and swam after spring melted the thin crust of ice over the surface…

All those things made them feel better, too.

Sam blinked, and realized none of them had said a word. They smiled, and the expression felt… tight, but like something they’d been good at, a very long time ago, and were just now trying again. The smile felt comfortable.

“Eggs b-benedict for lunch,” they said again, their tone softer. “Sounds good.”

Gavin let out a gusty breath. “Good,” he huffed. “Because it’s one of the only things I know to make on my own.” He turned and headed for the kitchen. Isaac took a step towards the kitchen as well, then paused, as if realizing he’d moved.

“Gavin,” Isaac said. “Do you want… do you need help, or…?”

“No!” Gavin said, and nudged him back towards the living room. “I can do it. I can… I can do it, Isaac. Stay with Sam.” He blushed and turned away again, and disappeared into the kitchen. He was visible again a moment later over the counter that made a sort of window between the kitchen and the living room, lined with barstools looking in.

Isaac turned back to Sam, a hint of pink still on his cheeks. He flushed darker when he saw them staring at him. “What?” he said weakly, and sat down on the couch near the puzzle.

Sam raised an eyebrow at him. “‘Gav’?” they said with a grin as they made their way to the couch and slowly eased themself down.

Isaac rolled his eyes, smiling back. He sat down on the couch beside them. “It just slipped out, okay? I didn’t… I haven’t been—”

“What, you haven’t been calling him Gav-Gav when you’re alone?” Sam said with a laugh.

“Oh my god, Sam,” Isaac whispered, his face turning an almost painful-looking red. He buried his face in his hands. “No.”

“Thank god,” Sam said, and nudged Isaac with their left shoulder – their good shoulder. “Because I don’t think I could have tolerated that.”

Isaac snorted and looked up towards the kitchen. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Neither could I.”

Gavin was visible over the half-wall of the counter. He was bustling about the kitchen, wearing a look of intense concentration as he gathered the ingredients, wearing… an apron. Edrissa’s baking apron. Sam tried to suppress another snort of laughter.

Isaac nudged them back, gently. “What?” he said softly, his cheeks burning.

Sam grinned and shook their head. “Nothing,” they said, returning their gaze to Isaac. “He’s just…” Sam shrugged, gently, careful with their arm. “He’s… different.”

“He is,” Isaac said, and sat back against the cushions. Sam shivered slightly. Isaac’s eyebrows pulled together. “You cold?”

“A little,” Sam admitted. Something inside them bristled, just the slightest bit, at Isaac’s concern.

He was like this with me before I got hurt like this. He’s always been like this, with everyone. He can’t turn it off.

“Me, too,” Isaac said, and reached for the thinner blanket draped over the back of the couch. “It’s just been so hard to get… warm since…” He trailed off as he shook the blanket open and laid it over both their laps.

Sam pulled the blanket up around their shoulders and leaned against Isaac. Isaac automatically opened his arm to them and they cuddled against his side.

Just like before.

“S-so,” Isaac said softly, and Sam’s heart ached at the familiar sound of his guilt. “How’s the arm?”

“Um.” They squeezed their right hand into a fist – or tried to. Their thumb and first two fingers twitched, and their thumb shook as they forced it to bend. They bit their lip and grimaced, straining with all their might to just make a fist. Something they could do without even thinking with their left hand. But their right… Maybe there had been a little bit of improvement over the past few days. Or maybe there hadn’t. They couldn’t tell, not with the pain that drilled into their arm every minute…

But the pain was fading. Every day. Some days were worse than others, but every day there was a moment that hurt less than all the other moments. And every day, that moment was better than the day before.

They looked up and saw Isaac looking warily at them. They cleared their throat. “Oh. Um. Honestly, it’s… it’s better.”

Isaac’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? That’s… that’s great. What’s been different? Has the feeling come back yet? Have you—”

“N-no,” Sam said, and stared at the pattern of the blanket over them. “Not like that. It just… doesn’t hurt so much all the time.”

Isaac blinked and sat back. “That’s still great, Sam.”

Sam chewed their lip. Tears formed in their eyes. They didn’t know why, they were just there. They sniffed and wiped their eyes with the blanket.

“Hey,” Isaac said gently, and he… god, he really was starting to sound like himself more and more. More of the kind person Sam knew before… all this. Not that Isaac wasn’t kind now, but there was… a desperation to him. There was a sense of terror under his every movement, like he was one wrong touch or loud sound away from losing himself and hurting… anyone that got too close. That had been going away, too, though.

Sam glanced up at Isaac, just to catch him gesturing with his chin at Gavin. Sam hadn’t even realized the kitchen had gone silent until they looked over at Gavin, who was standing stock-still in the opening of the half-wall, his apron and the English muffin in his hand seemingly forgotten, looking at Sam with grief written plainly over his face. He jumped and hurried over to the stove, where Sam could hear the eggs poaching in water.

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” Sam said, swiping at their eyes.

Isaac snorted. “Whether I give you the list chronologically or from best to worst, it would take too long.” He wrapped his arm around their shoulders again, but didn’t squeeze. Sam was grateful. Although, out of everyone Isaac probably knew best how to avoid whip marks… except possibly Vera.

“No, it’s just… nothing’s going on now…” Embarrassed, Sam pressed their face into the blanket, the more they tried to hold back, the more their eyes seemed to leak tears.

“Doesn’t have to be,” Isaac said evenly, and Sam relaxed slightly with his even tone.

“It’s stupid,” Sam mumbled, and blushed with their voice broke.

“Sam. Hey.” They lifted their head and forced themself to meet Isaac’s eyes. He smiled and gently ruffled their hair. “You’re fine.”

Sam shrugged as they wiped their nose. They could smell the butter, could hear the ham sizzling in the pan as Gavin worked.

Isaac laughed weakly. “It’s… good to see you, Sam,” he said, sadness lacing the edges of his voice.

Sam grimaced. “I’ve been around.”

Isaac dipped his head. “You have. But… in your room a lot of the time. Which…” He held out his free hand in a supplicating gesture. “…if that’s where you need to be, you be there. Okay? It’s just…” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to their forehead. “It’s just good to see you out.”

Sam picked at the seam of their sling. “Yeah. I… I’ve been… hurting, and—”

“I know. And you aren’t obligated to see us. Ever.” Isaac leveled his gaze at them.

“I… I know. It’s just…” Sam bit their lip and pulled their knees in to their chest under the blanket, tucking their arm against their chest. “It’s just…” They shot a glance at Gavin, whisking something now, and back at Isaac. “So much of… I mean, you guys…” Sam huffed out a breath. “You all just look so… guilty. When you see me.”

Guilt crossed Isaac’s face. Sam braced for their own guilt, and disappointment, and… then Isaac’s face changed. He smiled ruefully. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Sam gave a one-shoulder shrug. “Which, you know… I… It’s hard. And… and I feel guilty, too.”

Isaac’s eyebrows pulled together. “For… what, Sam?”

Sam tilted their head back against the couch cushions, tears brimming in their eyes again. “Same old, I guess,” they murmured. “I just… so many of you have been, um, hurt. Because of me. And I… I know that… last bit, with C-Colleen, when she…” They winced as the healing whip marks on their back suddenly burned. “…when she, um, made you say those things. And when I, um, got shot. I…” Sam gulped, and they were helpless against the tears that rolled back into their hair. “If it weren’t for me, you… would never have gotten hurt in the first place. With, um, Gavin. And I… I wanted to come on that mission. I know you didn’t want me to, and I went. And I… when we got taken, all I could, um, think was…” Their eyes slid closed, sending a stream of tears down their cheeks. “Um… all I could think was… ‘please let it just be me this time.’”

Isaac blew out a forceful breath. Sam blinked their eyes open and looked at him. “Oh,” he croaked, his own eyes faraway. “That’s um… exactly what, what I thought, um… too.”

“Well, um…” Sam swallowed the ache in their throat. “Yeah. That’s… that’s why I’ve been, um, in my room a lot. Because, uh… I hate seeing your guilt. And it makes me a hypocrite because I, ah, hate feeling, um, guilty.” They shrugged. “When I see your scars.”

Isaac turned his free arm over, and his gaze moved over the scars there: flat, silver marks from the heated blade of Gavin’s knife, and dozens of thin, pink slashes from his shoulder to his wrist, where Gavin had cut him at Colleen’s house. Those were healed, now, along with the fading ring of pink scars around his wrists where he’d been handcuffed, and fought against the restraints, every single day. Fighting to get to Sam.

“There are a lot more, now,” Isaac said softly, his voice trembling.

“We all have a lot more, now,” Sam said.

Isaac looked at them. “Sam, I… I know, I’m, I’m sorry…”

Sam glared lightly at Isaac. “You’re doing it again.”

Isaac blinked. “Fuck,” he breathed. “I don’t… I swear to god I don’t even… notice…”

“I know, Isaac,” Sam said sadly. They reached out and gently took Isaac’s wrist in their hand, moving their thumb over the scars on his wrists. “It’s just… what you do.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Isaac whispered, his eyes unfocused, like he wasn’t aware he was saying it out loud.

Sam’s lips pulled into a smile. More tears rolled down their cheeks, but they didn’t try to force them down, now. They leaned forward and pulled Isaac into a one-armed embrace. He held them gently, his breath huffing warmly against their hair.

“Um…”

They both glanced up to see Gavin standing over them, his eyes shifted down, one plate in each hand. The smell of Hollandaise and English muffins and ham and eggs washed over them. Their stomach grumbled again, and louder than before. Sam grinned and sat forward.

“We should probably eat at the table so we don’t, um, disturb the puzzle,” Gavin said, eyeing it. “I guess I…” He wandered over to the table and set the plates down. “I guess I could have, um, set that there, and…” He hurried back into the kitchen to grab one more plate and a handful of silverware.

Sam pushed off the blanket and got to their feet. “Smells good,” they said quietly.

Gavin’s head shot up as he set the third plate on the table. “Thank you,” he breathed, wide-eyed.

Sam sat in their seat, watching the curls of steam rise from the plate. Their mouth watered. Almost without thinking, it seemed, Isaac reached for their plate to cut up the food.

“Isaac,” Sam protested weakly. “Yours will get cold. I can, um, I can wait.”

Isaac froze, Sam’s knife and fork already cutting into the eggs benedict. Bright yellow yolk oozed across the plate.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Isaac said. “I didn’t think about it. I’m sorry. I can…” He glanced up at Sam. His lips slowly pulled into a smile. “How ‘bout I alternate? Cut a bite for me, cut a bite for you?”

“That sounds okay,” Sam said quietly.

Isaac cut a bite, carefully spearing the English muffin, ham, and egg, and sauce. He pushed the plate and fork towards Sam and cut a bite for himself.

Gavin had a bite almost all the way to his mouth when he shot to his feet. “You guys eat this with hot sauce,” he gasped, and sprinted to the kitchen. He was back in seconds with the bottle of hot sauce Gray had bought from a woman who grew the best peppers in Crayton – she said so.

Sam took up the fork in their left hand. Even that had gotten easier in the past two weeks. They lifted the fork to their mouth and took a bite, their eyes sliding shut at the hot food. It was delicious.

Continued here

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juju-on-that-yeet · 3 years

Text

Recovery

Whumptober Day 31: Today’s Special: Torture Prompt: Experiment

Although the egos finally have Oliver back from Enigma Data, they’re forced to keep him in The Cell as he still has no memory of his old life or relationships. When memory backups fail, Bim offers his magic as one last hope. (cont. from “From Dusk till Dawn”)

Warnings: None (this is barely whump tbh, I took the prompt in a very not-torture direction sakjfhsdjfsdk)

Read on AO3 (Full Whumptober Series)

Enjoy!

It’s still late at night when Dark, Wilford, and the Googles return to Ego Inc., so late it’s almost morning. But despite the hour, a few egos have stayed awake to see how the rescue mission went. The moment the leaders and Googles come through the door, the group rushes to them, eyes on Chrome, still supported by Plus, and on Oliver, still unconscious in Google’s arms.

Dr. Iplier is one of the egos who waited up, but he hangs back as the others approach the Googles. His main purpose was to make sure Dark and Wilford didn’t get maimed on the rescue mission, and after seeing them both no worse for wear, is much calmer than the other egos he’s been waiting with. He doesn’t leave, though, looking at Oliver and Chrome with some worry.

Yandereplier and Yancy are there, too, and Yandere nearly knocks Chrome over from the force of his tackle-hug. Yancy is calmer, but not by much, giving Chrome a forceful embrace of his own. Neither is deterred by Plus, who scolds them both to be careful. Chrome, though, reacts with only mild surprise, and makes no move to hug them back. His brows furrow, like he knows he should recognize the two people hugging him. Yandere notices the lack of response first.

“Aka-kun?” he asks, pulling away. He lifts his hands, cups Chrome’s cheek. He can feel the parts where Chrome’s skin has worn away from tears, feel the metal now at the surface. “You didn’t forget me, did you?”

“You…” Chrome murmurs, still thinking hard, “I don’t remember your name, and you don’t look familiar, but something…” He lifts a hand to cover one of Yandere’s. “Something feels right. You’re my friend, aren’t you?” He looks at Yancy. “You both are.”

It’s both everything Yandere and Yancy wanted to hear, and none of it. Chrome speaks the words in a faraway fashion, knowing what he says is true despite lacking the memories to back it up. That lack shows in his eyes, which still fail to flicker in recognition, still fail to capture Chrome’s normal personality and love for his friends. Yandere and Yancy both notice, Yandere especially.

“Yeah, I am,” Yandere manages, before bursting into bittersweet tears. Yancy doesn’t cry, but he looks like he wants to.

Meanwhile Bim, the final person who stayed up waiting, beelines for Oliver the moment Google steps through Ego Inc.’s threshold.

“Ollie,” Bim gasps, tears already in his eyes as he rushes to his side, reaching out a tentative hand to stroke his hair. “Oh sunshine, sunflower, I missed you so much–!”

He kisses Oliver’s cheeks over and over, free hand grabbing one of Oliver’s to hold. Google stands stoically, allowing Bim to fret and weep over Oliver. Bim completely ignores Google for a good minute, until he notices the charred spot on Oliver’s neck.

“Wh-what happened to his neck?” he asks Google, still sniffling.

“Plus used an Enigma Data taser to…incapacitate him,” Google says carefully. Seeing Bim’s shocked expression, he continues, “Oliver had no memory of myself or any of us. His only goal was to kill me, and he might have succeeded had Plus not stopped him.”

“Oh,” Bim mumbles, going quiet with thought.

One thing is clear, not just to Bim but to all the egos in the room: Just because Oliver and Chrome are back in Ego Inc., it doesn’t mean that this ordeal is over.

~~~

Less than a week later, Google is in the control room, staring at a set of screens. The data in them would take a human hours to read and days to fully analyze, but Google has practically memorized every line of code already. The data isn’t from a project, a piece of tech, a website, or even from his own coding.

It’s a snapshot of Oliver’s mind and all the data inside, every line down to the last character. But none of it is normal. His time with Enigma Data, all the ways they fiddled with his hardware and software, have mangled each line beyond recognition. It’s a wonder Oliver can still walk, or talk, or do anything at all without suffering catastrophic errors.

Chrome’s mind wasn’t nearly so complicated. It was in the process of being changed, but all he needed was a data backup to clean up the bad code and restore the memories he’d forgotten. He woke up after the backup with his full memory back, including the time he spent at Enigma Data after being taken. He remembers, still, how it felt to watch a lifetime of memories nearly slip through his hands like water, how it felt to look at his loved ones and barely recognize them, how it felt to see their grief and feel almost nothing. Despite how his experience has hurt him, his injuries are healed and his personality is restored, and he’s gone back to living his life as normal.

But Oliver is a different story.

The data backup didn’t work on him, which is why Google looked into Oliver’s data in the first place. He and his brothers tried to untangle the mess inside Oliver’s head, but it proved too huge even for them to tackle. It’s not just the software, not just the code that’s bad, but the hardware, too. Screws are missing, wires are crossed, plates and nodes have been removed and put back in the wrong places. Chrome had had a few hardware issues too, but nothing on this level, nothing so pervasive. Even if they could stand to wait the weeks it would take to get the missing parts Oliver needs, even if they could stand to spend months replacing all the broken parts and fixing the broken code, they can’t do it without risking Oliver’s death. His brain is a precarious Jenga puzzle; one wrong move and the whole thing will come crashing down. Infuriatingly, if Oliver were to die, if he came back afterwards, his mind would likely be perfectly fine once he woke (if he woke). That’s how returning from the dead works for egos; it would do no good if they came back still sporting the injury that killed them. Google, of course, refuses to entertain that thought, to consider the possibility of Oliver dying, and his brothers feel the same. They’ve gone so far to get Oliver back, and they aren’t giving up on him now.

But their options are shrinking by the day. Plus suggests they try reconnecting Oliver to the network before the backup, instead of after like they did with Chrome. That fails. Chrome suggests inserting only a few core memories, in hopes that they can help rebuild faulty neuron connections and allow the rest of the memories to be returned. That fails. Google pores over Oliver’s twisted data, looking for a way to fix it, as he and his brothers try to brainstorm other solutions. They all fail, and by now, even their superpowered intelligence is struggling to give them any more ideas. After days of working, thinking, and reading code 24/7, even while charging, the well is drying up, and Oliver remains out of reach.

Google finally closes out of the files, copied from the last time they had Oliver shut down on the workshop table, and leaves the control room to clear his head. He shouldn’t need to, being a genius android, but somehow he feels the need.

It figures that his feet lead him into Ego Inc.’s basement, where The Cell sits, where Oliver currently resides.

Google built The Cell himself a long time ago. Dark wanted a place to keep egos that were volatile, dangerous, at risk of hurting others or themselves. His own void works for short stints, but he felt that a place to keep an ego long-term was necessary as well. It’s been used rarely, but now, it’s where Oliver spends all his time. He was put there before he woke from being tased, and as much as Google hates to admit it, it was a good thing that he was. Because the moment he woke up, he tried to break free to finish what he started with Google and get back to Enigma Data. He can’t be trusted not to hurt the other egos or run away, so for now, Google’s little brother is stuck in this tiny prison.

When Google goes to him today, he’s sitting cross-legged on the floor. He regards Google with a poisonous glare, but doesn’t bother standing. The mark on his neck is gone, having been fixed even before Google’s many injuries were addressed. He’s given up trying to brute-force his way out of his prison, and Google imagines that he’s going through a process similar to Google’s own. Just as Google’s spent these past days going through Oliver’s coding for ways to get him back to normal, Oliver must be puzzling over how to escape his imprisonment, going over every possible escape route, analyzing the inside of his room and looking for weak spots. They’ve each reached a block and are now at a stalemate, and neither know what their next move should be.

Google had known that taking Oliver home wouldn’t solve everything immediately, but he hadn’t known it would be this hard.

Despite being so embroiled in his thoughts, he still notices the sudden sound of footsteps descending the stairs to the basement. Just by the sound of the shoes (fancy dress shoes), he knows exactly who it is that’s come to see Oliver. He isn’t surprised when Bim approaches and comes to stand next to Google.

“Hey,” he says weakly. He can’t manage a smile in greeting, and Google doesn’t blame him. The bags under his eyes are pronounced, his face is pale, and his hair is rumpled instead of meticulously gelled back. He hardly looks at Google, staring at Oliver like he hopes to see recognition on his face. Instead, he receives nothing but Oliver’s cold, indifferent stare.

“Why are you down here?” Google asks Bim. “Nothing has changed, surely you know that.”

“I could say the same to you,” Bim says wryly, finally looking at Google.

“I’ve been staring at his code for hours now,” Google replies, “I needed to step away for a moment.”

“Is it helping?” Bim asks, only a little sarcastic.

“No,” Google answers. He pauses. “I knew it wouldn’t.”

“What else is left to do?” Bim asks him sadly, “I don’t know what you guys have tried, but you’ve tried a lot of things, right? So…”

Part of Google doesn’t want to tell Bim what's been plaguing his thoughts these past days, but he knows he owes something to Bim, that Bim deserves to know what’s happening. Google usually finds Bim pretty annoying, but despite that, Google can’t ignore how much Bim loves Oliver and how good he’s been to him since they got together. Bim should know, at least, how much Google and his brothers have tried.

“We have,” Google says, “Every method we thought of, we tried, and none of it has worked. The code and hardware are so damaged that they can’t accept the memory files, and the internal structure is too precarious to fix by hand. We’re brainstorming new things to try right now.”

A long pause as Bim thinks.

“What happens if you can’t fix him?” Bim asks.

“We will fix him,” Google says sharply, “We won’t stop trying until we do.”

“I’ve never seen it take you guys this long to solve a problem,” Bim mumbles, “Even when it was just you here, I’ve never seen you have to try this hard to fix something. If it’s this bad, maybe the only way to fix the code is to…” Bim sighs, shaky, and it takes him several long moments to give voice to his thoughts. “…is to give it the chance to fix itself.”

“No,” Google growls, stepping towards Bim threateningly, glaring down at him with bright, angry blue eyes. “That is not happening, and you’re lucky I don’t snap your neck for suggesting it.”

“Like you haven’t thought about it, too!” Bim counters, eyes blazing with his own anger. “You’re a super-smart android, there’s no way it never crosses your mind!”

“We’re not doing that, never in a million years,” Google mutters, voice steely.

“Then what will you do!?” Bim shouts, “What else is there?? If everything in his brain is twisted up too much to pull apart, then what–” He gasps, stopping short.

“What?” Google mutters.

“I just–” Bim says, suddenly so deep in thought that he cuts himself off again. “Maybe…pull apart…I thought of something. Something that could fix Oliver.”

“Hm,” Google says. He doubts Bim could’ve thought of anything that Google and his brothers haven’t already, but he decides to hear him out.

“I could fix Oliver!” Bim exclaims, “I could use my powers to put his brain back to normal!”

There’s a long pause. Bim stares at Google expectantly, grinning widely. Google stares back, unimpressed.

“That’s moronic.”

“Oh, come on, hear me out!” Bim whines, now frowning. “Look, my powers allow me to pull things apart and combine things together, right? Who’s to say I can’t pull apart all the twisted wires and stuff in Oliver’s head and put everything back together how it should be?”

“You don’t know the first thing about our mechanics,” Google snaps, “How would you know what pieces belong where?”

“I don’t have to know,” Bim says, “I just feel it. That’s what I do whenever Anti gets inside one of your heads.”

“That’s not the same,” Google mutters, “And every time you’ve tried to use your powers for something not related to Anti, it’s backfired completely. Didn’t you almost kill Eric trying to fix his broken arm? How can I trust you inside my brother’s head??”

“It is the same!” Bim protests, “Anti’s as technological as you guys are. Whenever he’s in there he makes himself a part of your brain. Yet I can always pull him out, because I can feel the difference, I can just feel what belongs and what doesn’t. This won’t be like Eric’s arm, I know it won’t.” He looks at Google, eyes bright and glimmering with emotion – and determination. “You know I love Oliver. You know I wouldn’t do this if I thought I would hurt him. I can fix this, I know it. And what other choice do we have? This is the only thing you haven’t tried. If I’m wrong you can say so, but you basically told me yourself that you’re out of ideas.” Bim sighs. “Let me do this. Let me help him.”

Google glares at Bim, though his mind churns with the possibility. He doesn’t trust Bim’s control over his powers, he fears what a single error on Bim’s part could do to Oliver. At the same time, he has to admit that Bim is right on one thing: they’re virtually out of options. There’s no ideas left but this. And if Bim is right about his description of dealing with Anti, then maybe fixing Oliver’s head isn’t so far removed. Maybe there’s a chance. Maybe it’s the only chance.

“…I need to discuss with the others,” Google finally says.

“So you’re on board?”

“I’m tentatively considering it. I’m not making any promises.”

“Good enough, I guess, coming from you.”

The whole time, the whole conversation, Oliver himself watches the pair through the walls of The Cell, silent and glowering.

~~~

Bim expects the younger Googles to push back against his suggestion, and while they do, they don’t protest as much as Bim thought they would. It turns out that they’re tired, too, their optimism has also run dry, and they’re willing to do anything at this point. That doesn’t mean they aren’t afraid, though. That doesn’t mean Google isn’t worried. Bim can see it clearly, despite how much they try to hide it under cool stoicism.

For one thing, they insist on being there when Bim goes into Oliver’s head, standing on one side of the room, eyes trained on Oliver’s still form on a workshop stretcher. They’ve shut him down to prevent him from trying to escape or hurt them, and it kills Bim to see him like this, knowing how little of his love is there now.

But Oliver’s not all gone. He’s in there somewhere, the memories are just waiting to be unlocked, and Bim is the one who will unlock them. His words to Google weren’t empty bravado, he knows he can do this. Oliver’s backed up memories, the ones from before his capture, sit in a deceptively tiny USB drive laid beside him on the stretcher. It’s a more powerful USB than any human could get their hands on, storing terabytes of data, Oliver’s every thought and experience. It’s only a copy, of course; Oliver’s memories are on the control room’s main supercomputer, too. But Bim can hardly believe it, that before him in this tiny object is everything that makes the man he loves who he is, and in turn, every detail of Bim’s relationship with Oliver, even the little things his own human mind has forgotten.

It’s all here, laid bare, ready for Bim to put together.

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, lays a hand on Oliver’s forehead, and begins.

At first, he can’t detect much at all. It’s harder to start when there’s nothing concrete to start from. With Anti’s takeovers, he can immediately pick out Anti’s unwanted presence among the neurons. With Eric’s arm, he could instantly find the break in the bone. The anomalies were obvious and clear. But Oliver’s mind right now is one huge anomaly, and for a few moments, Bim can hardly tell what’s what among the connections and wires and neurons that fill his mind’s eye, the vision his magic grants him.

But Bim doesn’t let himself get discouraged, and after a few moments, errors become clear. He can see twisted wires, see misfiring neurons, see the flaws in both hardware and software. And once he sees the flaws, he can start to fix them. He starts slow, untangling and straightening wires carefully, pulling together separated connections cautiously, aware that a wrong move could be disastrous. The Googles, as intelligent and meticulous as they are, could never have done this without tripping a wrong wire or nudging a faulty plate. As he works, he can see data alerts, the same things Oliver would see if he was awake. Bim can hardly comprehend them, but he doesn’t need to. He has his instincts and magic to guide him through the maze of Oliver’s mind.

The more Bim does, the easier it gets. He starts addressing multiple components at once, pulling apart twisted data and pulling together frayed edges, hitting his stride in Oliver’s mind. He finally moves on to the tougher fixes, the ones that are more than just wires. He unscrews and transfers the plates that are in the wrong spot and puts them where his instincts say they go. He pulls data chips out of cracks and slots them where they belong, pulling the unneeded cracks back together afterwards. The error message gets shorter and shorter, the listed problems become fewer and fewer. Bim has no idea how much time is passing, and he hardly cares. All he knows is that he’s getting closer.

Finally, there’s nothing more Bim can do. There’s parts of hardware that are beyond Bim’s ability to fix. Things like missing screws can’t be replaced; Bim can’t make them appear from thin air, and he of course can’t take them from elsewhere in Olvier’s head.

He can only hope that what he’s done so far is enough to make Oliver’s brain accept a memory backup.

He opens his eyes again for the first time in what could be minutes or hours. The three Googles stare at him expectantly, waiting for Bim’s word. Instead of speaking, Bim looks down at the USB, the little chip that contains his boyfriend. He picks it up with the hand not on Oliver’s forehead and shuts his eyes again, preparing to combine. Combine the contents of the USB with the mind in which they belong.

His eyes fly open again involuntarily, and he gasps. The Googles all startle, taking a step forward, but Bim shakes his head, signaling that he doesn’t need their help. The Googles stop, still wary, but Bim hardly notices.

His mind is being flooded with memory.

As he puts together the data on the USB and the near-empty storage space in Oliver’s mind, his own mind becomes the conduit through which each memory passes on its way to be combined. It’s too fast for Bim to keep track of, too advanced for his human mind to process. All the details of every memory, the details Oliver could see and feel and hear that Bim can’t, all of them wash over Bim as he directs the flow of memories into their proper place. Though he can’t perceive much of these memories, he can catch glimpses of details. What the sunset looked like to Oliver. What his favorite song sounded like to his advanced auditory system. The burst of joy that went through him whenever he saw one of his brothers. How Bim’s hand, the same one that rests on his forehead now, felt in his own. Bim could cry and laugh in equal parts at how these bits of Oliver’s memory make him feel, and maybe he would if he weren’t so focused on making sure each memory finds its proper place in Oliver’s mind.

After what could’ve been a hundred years or only a moment, the USB runs empty, and Bim has nothing more to combine, nothing more to separate, nothing more to fix. Aside from those tiny bits of hardware that the Googles will have to repair, Oliver is complete. At least, it appears that way. Bim won’t know, none of them will know, until Oliver wakes, if he wakes. He should, once Bim lets him go.

Bim blinks the lingering images of Oliver’s memory out of his eyes, lets the USB fall out of his hand onto the stretcher. He feels exhausted now, yet his hand still rests on Oliver’s forehead. He’s afraid of what will happen when he leaves Oliver’s mind. But everything felt right, everything he did felt good, it all worked out like he’d known it would. He can only hope he wasn’t deceived by his own overconfidence.

Carefully, shakily, Bim removes his hand from Oliver’s forehead. The other Googles peer closer from their spot across the room, expressions severe yet hopeful. The tension in the air is thick enough to choke.

After a moment, Oliver’s eyes open.

“Ollie,” Bim whispers, though he’s still too nervous to smile.

Oliver sits up, rubs his head with one hand. His face is confused, distant, but as seconds pass, it becomes more shocked, more anxious, more full of Oliver’s characteristic expressiveness.

“Ollie?” Bim repeats, questioning this time. Oliver looks at him.

“Bim?” he asks, voice shaky, eyes filling with tears.

“Yeah,” Bim whispers, already about to cry. He reaches out to touch Oliver’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’m here, Ollie. You’re okay.”

Oliver’s face crumples, and he hugs Bim tight, so forcefully he lifts him a full foot off the ground. Bim hardly notices, letting his feet dangle as he hugs Oliver back, comforting him as he sobs with relief and guilt.

“I f-forgot everything,” Oliver wails, “I forgot about you–”

“It’s okay, sunshine,” Bim soothes, crying nearly as hard, “You’re okay, I love you–”

That’s when Bim hears the rapid footsteps of the Googles approaching. Oliver hears them too, and gently puts Bim down as his brothers swarm him, wrapping him up in a many-armed embrace. Bim steps back, wiping tears off his face and allowing the four brothers to reconnect. The other Googles don’t cry (maybe they would if Bim weren’t in the room), but emotion is still clear in their faces.

“Red,” Oliver gasps at the sight of Chrome, “Red, oh my god, I’m s-so sorry, I’m so so sorry–”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Chrome tells him, voice tight as he hugs Oliver.

“Blue, y-you too, I hurt you,” Oliver sobs, “I hurt you b-both, and Yancy and Y-Yandere, I’m sorry–”

“They’re fine, we all are,” Google murmurs into Oliver’s hair, “Chrome and I are okay, Yancy and Yandere are alive and well.” He kisses the top of Oliver’s head. “What matters now is that we have you back.”

“We missed you,” Plus whimpered, the Google closest to tears aside from Oliver. “We’re sorry it took us so long to find you.”

The conversation goes much the same way for a while, apology after apology being given and refuted by Oliver and the other Googles. Oliver stays sitting on the stretcher, surrounded by his brothers as they soothe him, and Bim stands apart, though he doesn’t mind it. He looks on with joy, relief, and more than a little pride knowing that this was his doing, that he was the one who was able to save Oliver.

At long last, this ordeal is finally behind them, and all is right in Ego Inc. again.

#markiplier fanfiction #bim trimmer #googleplier #google oliver #my writing #fanfic #markiplier #kristin says stuff #whumptober2020 #AT LONG LAST IS FUKKIN RIGHT #now i can get back to unravel 👀

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vespertineflora · 4 years

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3zun Combo Fics

XiYao

we're alone in the dark E, During Canon, Classroom Sex, 4.6k It's the first time Jin Guangyao has had the chance to use the jade token Lan Xichen had given him for free passage in and out of the Cloud Recesses, and it's during this first late evening visit that Jin Guangyao discovers that Lan Xichen has been having fantasies about him for far longer than he ever could have guessed--and that Lan Xichen is very eager to act on one such fantasy.

your love is all i can think about E, During Canon/AU, Love Letters/Sneaking Around, 10.4k After Lan Xichen finally goes all the way with Jin Guangyao in the aftermath of the Sunshot Campaign, responsibility forces the two apart for far longer than either of them care for. When they finally get to see each other again after three long months, having to sit through hours of a discussion conference when the love of his life is just across the room is more than the poor, sexually pent up Lan Xichen can bear, especially as Jin Guangyao seems to realize he likes the effect he's having on him.

in your warmth i forget how cold it can be E, During Canon, Cold Weather Coziness, 3.3k After a long day of traveling in unexpectedly heavy snowfall, Jin Guangyao arrives in the Cloud Recesses and needs Lan Xichen to warm him up.

rest with me a while E, During Canon, Fluff/Smut, 3.8k The day of the Phoenix Mountain Hunt is a stressful one for Jin Guangyao; Lan Xichen can see how tense he is from just a glance. His offer to help Jin Guangyao with his preparations has been turned down more than once, so Lan Xichen isn't sure what he can possibly do to help him... until he realizes there might be one way he might be able to add a bright spot to Jin Guangyao's day. no angels could beckon me back M, During Canon, Post-Coital Cuddling/Confessions, 1.6k What he had with Lan Xichen should have been enough; Jin Guangyao hadn't intended to confess his feelings, and he certainly hadn't meant for them to be confessed like this.

bare your heart to me E, During Canon, Smut and Hurt/Comfort, 9.5k It's impossible for Lan Xichen to say when he first takes notice of it, but a strange exchange one night makes him realize something rather concerning: he hasn't seen Jin Guangyao's naked body in nearly a year. The realization leads to Lan Xichen chasing after the answer to this mystery, ultimately uncovering a painful truth about the daily horrors of Jin Guangyao's life in Carp Tower.

Daylight Can Be So Violent (series) (in progress, but all pieces are functional one shots) if i told you what i’ve become E, During Canon, Confessions/First Times, 13.7k (pt 1) It's Lan Xichen's first visit to Lanling since Jin Guangyao's ascent to the position of Chief Cultivator the previous month, and with everything he's been through recently, he's perhaps tenser than he otherwise would be, spending a peaceful evening with his dearest friend. Luckily, Jin Guangyao has some ideas about the best ways to relieve stress.

heaven help me (i need to make this right) E, During Canon, Light Bondage, 8k (pt 2) The last few months have been... more than Lan Xichen could have ever hoped for. The reconstruction of the Cloud Recesses is complete, which means his uncle is in a good mood. His brother is healed, moving around and spending time with A-Yuan. And his relationship with Jin Guangyao... well, to put it simply, Lan Xichen couldn't be much happier--though Jin Guangyao has no shortage of ideas for them. It's during one of his regular visits to Lanling that Jin Guangyao suggests they... try doing things a different way.

and i'd do anything E, During Canon, Candle Wax/Praise Kink, 4.7k (pt 3) "Do you trust me?" It was that question, and Lan Xichen's resounding yes, that had landed him here, his wrists tied to the bed posts above his head, silk scarf wrapped lovingly around his eyes, his chest heaving with every hard breath, his cock dripping precum in a sticky pool against his stomach, and drips of wax in various stages of hardness scattered all across his skin.

if there was nowhere to land (i wouldn’t be scared at all) T, During Canon, 5+1fic/angst, 10.7k Meng Yao hasn't lead an easy life. He's been pushed around, beaten, and taken advantage of for nearly as long as he can remember... Falling down stairs is one of the worst things he's been through, and he's fallen more times than anyone should have to. OR Five times someone makes Meng Yao fall down a staircase, and one time someone saves him from falling.

they call me underneath M, Post-Canon, Grief/Mourning, 4.2k Lan Xichen never intended to visit the cemetery where his sworn brothers were interred together, but now that he's here, he can't make himself leave without at least trying.

a fine time to regret T, During Canon, Grief/Comfort, 2.3k As it turned out, even knowing Jin Rusong was going to die didn't give Jin Guangyao the chance to prepare himself for it.

NieYao

hold on to what we are T, During Canon, Fluff, 1.9k Meng Yao is dedicated to working harder than ever as the Sunshot Campaign is ramping up, but Nie Mingjue wants him to come to bed.

if you need it, then i need it (and only we'll know) E, During Canon, Sex Pollen, 13.1k Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue are on what they assume to be a normal scouting mission into Wen territory--but the day is turned on its head when they get a bit too close to some strange looking plants that release a thick cloud of pollen as they approach. By the time they make it back to camp, they're both already feeling the effects, and the camp's doctor has some mixed news to share. The bad news? The pollen will lead to a deadly qi deviation if left untreated. The good news? They know how to treat it! Now it's just up to Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue to act on it (and on the feelings they've been secretly harboring for one another for months).

when it comes time to rest my head E, Canon Divergent, Hurt/Comfort, 20.8k When Nie Mingjue spots the freshly bloodied handkerchief Jin Guangyao accidentally drops, his first sickening conclusion is that he's just caught him in the middle of some nefarious deed--but Nie Mingjue investigates further, and instead uncovers a series of injuries across Jin Guangyao's body that tell a much more heart-wrenching tale than the one Nie Mingjue first suspected. Can Nie Mingjue earn back enough of Jin Guangyao's trust to get him to accept the help he so clearly needs? Can he convince Jin Guangyao... to come back to Qinghe with him? i need your broken promises E, Canon Divergent, Werecat!JGY, 11.7k The night Meng Yao is promoted to be Nie Mingjue's deputy, he makes two requests: to be left alone on the night of the full moon, and to not be asked why he needs to be left alone. Nie Mingjue is extremely curious about this odd appeal, but he honors it regardless. Years later, when Nie Mingjue proposes, Meng Yao repeats his requests as the only stipulations for their marriage, and Nie Mingjue once again promises to let Meng Yao keep his secret... until he realizes that perhaps the secret isn't as well kept as he once thought, and he confronts Meng Yao to learn the truth.

the day bleeds into nightfall T, During Canon, Angst and Romance, 2.5k When Wen Chao attacks the Unclean Realm, Meng Yao rushes to release Xue Yang, and Nie Mingjue catches him stabbing his general. Nie Mingjue might have thought he was doing Meng Yao a mercy when he banished him... but Meng Yao isn't sure he agrees.

love me hard oh, love me right E, Modern AU, Rule 63 PWP, 2k Sometimes Meng Yao just needs to be gently dommed by her girlfriend until she cries, and you know what? That's valid.

the love held in her hands E, Modern Fantasy AU, Rule 63/Fairy!MY, 3k When Nie Mingjue's tiny fairy girlfriend asks to be fingered, Nie Mingjue immediately considers it to be a bad idea... but when her search for something more appropriately-sized drags on too long, she decides to give in to Meng Yao's impatient demands.

NieLan

the common tongue of your loving me E, Modern AU, 69ing, 3.7k Lan Huan and Nie Mingjue have been dating for almost two years now, but Nie Mingjue is always coming up with ways for him and his beau to have some new sort of fun in the bedroom. (Submission for NieLan Month 2020, Day 22 Desperation/Beauty/Awe. This is also the 69th fic I've uploaded to my AO3 account haha)

3zun

home is where my love waits E, Modern AU, Sexted Pics & DP, 5.1k Meng Yao is out of town on business for the weekend and Lan Huan and Nie Mingjue have the brilliant idea to send their absent boyfriend some spicy material to keep him warm while he's away (and definitely not because teasing him is very fun). When Meng Yao gets back to his hotel room at night to discover the proverbial feast, he's both very turned on and very frustrated to be so far away--but luckily for Meng Yao, they have more than adequate plans to make up for their teasing once he gets home.

i’ve had no love like your love E, Modern AU, happy birthday jgy!3some, 9.2k It's Meng Yao's birthday, and after working all day, he travels to Nie Mingjue's place in a swiftly escalating winter storm, where a night of warm wine and even warmer company awaits... Nie Mingjue and a tipsy Lan Huan have a delightful plan in place on just how they can warm him up.

how could i ask for more E, Modern Genderbend AU, CNC Roleplay, 14.3k When Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue ask Lan Huan what she wants for her birthday, they strongly imply it can be a sexual favor. Lan Huan asks for so little in the bedroom; she always seems content to just join in whatever activities her girlfriends partake in and never makes specific requests for herself. Of course, when Lan Huan actually indulges their suggestion, the last thing they expect from her is a detailed, written fantasy that she hands to them with an entirely red face... But if such a thing is what Lan Huan wants, Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue will make sure to give her exactly what she's asking for. Written for Whumptober 2020, Theme No 6. PLEASE… (“Get it Out” | No More | “Stop, please”).

there’s a hole in my soul (can you fill it?) E, Modern AU, Hurt/Comfort & Panic Attacks, 6.2k Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue were exes... until Lan Xichen fell in love with both of them and they decided to set aside their differences for his sake. When they're all together, life is bliss--but Meng Yao's relationship with Nie Mingjue is strained at best, and he notices early on in this reconciliation that the only time Nie Mingjue seems willing to hold him or be affectionate with him is after they have sex. Meng Yao has learned that, on the rare nights and weekends when Lan Xichen is away and he needs affection, that having sex with Nie Mingjue is the quickest and easiest way to get it. Lan Xichen just so happens to be out of town after Meng Yao has a particularly bad day at work. He needs the comfort more than ever, but when he tries to get it from Nie Mingjue the only way he knows how, it doesn't go the way he plans.

in my arms you’re safe and sound T, Vampire AU, Hurt/Comfort & Feeding, 2.9k Jin Guangyao is a dhampir who is fully turned when his father accepts him into the family--but Jin Guangshan treats him terribly, and when Nie Mingjue begins to realize how far this mistreatment goes, he drags Jin Guangyao off for a conversation which quickly escalates into an emotional shouting match that results in Nie Mingjue deciding that Jin Guangyao needs to be removed from Carp Tower immediately. Lan Xichen finds them just in time for the three sworn brothers to head together back to Qinghe, where Lan Xichen personally discovers one of the many awful things Jin Guangshan has done to hurt Jin Guangyao.

how were we to know E, Canon Divergent, MAJOR HURT/comfort, 12.9k (check AO3 for warnings on this one!) After the Sunshot Campaign, Meng Yao took Lan Xichen's offer to come live with him in the Cloud Recesses, sparking the beginning of their romantic relationship--which in turn uncovered their individual romantic histories with Nie Mingjue, and led to a shared romantic present with him. In the years since, the three have been in love and quite happy with their shared arrangement. However, eventual grief lingered at the back of their thoughts; they all knew the effect the saber spirit was gradually having on Nie Mingjue's mind and on his temperament, causing more frequent and more violent outbursts... Though none of them could have guessed the particular sort of violence it would lead Nie Mingjue to commit one night alone with Meng Yao.

when you are lost and i am gone M, Canon Divergent, Character Death, 2k When Lan Xichen had received the letter from Meng Yao, he'd left the camp at once to meet him in the forest outside of Nightless City, but even still, he arrives a second too late to do anything but watch as one of his friends cuts down the other. a light on the other side M, Modern AU, JGY-centric, 2.6k As a child, Meng Yao had only ever met his father in passing, as he had a family of his own and wanted little to do with the child that resulted from his affair with Meng Yao's mother. But when Meng Shi passed away tragically, 13 year old Meng Yao was sent to live with his father, spending the rest of his teen years in a living hell until he was able to escape... A few years later, another affair and another tragedy brought infant Mo Xuanyu into the Jin household and Meng Yao returned to keep him safe from the fate he'd suffered himself. Life there is awful, though not nearly as bad as it was before, as Meng Yao spends most of his time alone caring for Mo Xuanyu. However, a few months into his return, Meng Yao is presented with a unique opportunity when, late one night, he finds Jin Guangshan collapsed on the floor of his office.

#3zun #xiyao #nieyao #nielan #mdzs #cql #wrote a thing #vesper posts

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