#let's address the trauma here alright

[unclewaynemunson]

Alt version of this post bc too many people asked for both <3

It's Saturday night and, like almost every Saturday night, Eddie wishes he didn't have to be at some jock party. The flashing lights, the scent of cheap mixed drinks, the incredibly mediocre loud music... And worst of all, the fucking jocks. Everywhere.

'Eddie!'

He looks up to find Steve, with a dopey smile on his face, basically skipping towards him and throwing his arms around his neck. Oh. He didn't know Steve still went to parties like those. Hadn't seen him at any of them in a while. But as soon as he gets wrapped up in an enthusiastic full-body hug, he decides there's one jock, and one jock only, that he doesn't mind running into at those parties.

'Eddie, what're you doin' here?' There's an unfocused look in his eyes and he wobbles on his legs a little bit, grabbing tighter onto Eddie for support. The touch burns through Eddie's t-shirt and he tries to ignore the shiver running down his spine.

'I didn't know you liked parties!' Steve drops his voice, slurring: 'I thought you hated the jocks.'

Eddie can't help but smile. 'I hate all jocks but one, big boy,' he tells Steve. 'Not here to party, only to get some cash.' He rattles with the metal lunchbox in his hands to illustrate his point. 'Can you let me go now so I can get on with my business, pretty please?'

'Noooo,' Steve says with an exaggerated pout. 'I'm too happy you're here! Dance with me!'

Eddie chuckles. 'I don't think you're in any state to dance right now. Jesus, Stevie, I don't think I've ever seen you this wasted before. Thought you were planning to pick up a girl tonight?'

'I was,' Steve says, suddenly sounding oddly serious. 'But it doesn't matter. Just needed to forget. The rum helped, too.' He frowns. 'Til you showed up.'

'Forget what?' Eddie asks, trying to make sense of this drunken string of words.

Something happens; something that's been happening quite often lately. Steve's eyes flash downwards, just for a second, right to where Eddie's lips are.

Eddie's heartbeat involuntarily picks up speed.

'What did you need to forget, Steve?' Eddie asks again.

'Can't tell you,' Steve mumbles so softly that Eddie can barely make it out over the loud music. 'I don't wanna make you feel guilty. I'm not judging you, y'know. 'S fine.'

He abruptly lets go of Eddie and takes a step away from him, stumbling right into some girl who pushes him back with an annoyed scoff; if Eddie weren't still standing right behind him, he would've fallen on his ass for sure.

'Alright, you're not making any sense tonight, big boy, but I can't in good conscience let you stay here by yourself. How 'bout I'll drive you home?'

Eddie glances at his watch. If he hurries, he can probably still be back to do what he came here for before the good part of the party is over. He does kinda need the cash.

'Can't,' says Steve. 'Can't go home with you.' Something in his voice is breaking and suddenly there are tears in his eyes, and Eddie still doesn't understand what's wrong; he feels like he's overlooking something huge, something that should be obvious.

'Let's just go outside to talk, then?' he suggests.

'Can't. Dance with me, Eddie.'

But when Eddie starts gently tugging Steve towards the open door leading to the garden, Steve easily lets himself be led outside. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath when the cool night air reaches his lungs, as if one gulp of fresh air will instantly make him sober up. But he's still swaying on his feet, making Eddie grab onto him tighter.

Eddie likes to think of himself as moderately strong, but unfortunately, hauling 180 pounds of muscled jock around is starting to take its toll on him. He spots a bench in a secluded corner of the garden and guides Steve towards it.

'This better?' he asks.

'Yeah,' Steve breathes out. Even now that they're both sitting down, Steve keeps clinging onto him. 'Look at the stars, Eddie.'

Eddie looks up at the scattering of lights twinkling far above them - but he can feel Steve's eyes still burning into his face.

When he directs his gaze back to the guy sitting next to him, Steve's face is even closer than before. The starlight is reflected in his hazy eyes, tiny specks of silver hidden in various shades of brown and black.

'I wish I could kiss you,' Steve whispers, looking at Eddie with nothing but admiration behind that glassy drunk gaze.

Eddie almost forgets to breathe. He knows that it seemed like he and Steve were headed exactly toward something like this for a while now, but he still can hardly believe that it is real. That Steve Harrington is really looking at him like he's just as precious as the stars in the sky above them.

He brings up a hand, gently caresses Steve's soft cheek.

'Maybe you don't have to wish,' he whispers back, unable to stop his eyes from flashing towards Steve's beautiful lips for a moment. 'Tomorrow. When you're not drunk anymore. If you still remember this.'

'No.' Steve shakes his head, so fiercely it makes his hair flap in all directions and his complexion at least two shades paler. 'Can't.'

'Why do you keep saying that, Steve?' Eddie asks softly.

'Cause.' For a moment Eddie thinks Steve is gonna grab his ass, but then... he randomly frees Eddie's handkerchief – the one with the skulls – from his back pocket.

'Cause of the Russians.'

Eddie can only stare at him in confusion.

'They tied me up,' Steve all but whispers. Eddie hates how small and broken his voice suddenly sounds.

He has always known – broadly speaking – about what happened to Steve and Robin miles beneath Starcourt last year. He's never actually heard Steve talk about the details, though. All he knows is that he and Robin were captured by Russian spies and somehow made it out alive. He could always see how difficult it was for Steve to talk about it whenever it came up, but he never wanted to pry. And now here they are, at some goddamn high school jock party of all places, and all of a sudden Steve willingly brings it up.

'I was with Robin,' Steve continues, still in that scared and broken voice. 'And they tied us to a chair. We couldn't move. And they – they hurt me. They hit me. 'Til I was bleeding all over. I thought I was gonna die. Robin thought I was dead.'

'Jesus Christ, Steve,' Eddie breathes out, tightening his grip around Steve's torso.

'So I can't,' Steve mumbles, holding up Eddie's handkerchief as if it's some kind of logical explanation for whatever it is he's trying to tell Eddie.

'Wh- What?'

'I know what it means, Eddie,' he says, as if he's even remotely making sense right now. 'You know John?'

'Who the hell is John?' Eddie only keeps finding himself more and more lost in this conversation.

'My cousin,' Steve says, like it's obvious, like he's ever talked about some cousin named John to Eddie before. 'The one in New York. He knows all about that shit, right? He sends me the good magazines sometimes when my parents aren't home. That's how I know.'

'Know what?'

Steve only waves around with that stupid handkerchief again.

'You're flagging, aren't ya? You like pain. Like BS... BM...'

Eddie feels his jaw drop.

'What the fuck are you talking about?' he asks. 'It's – this is a metal thing. It looks metal. I literally have no idea what you're – flagging?'

Now Steve's face finally mirrors the confusion Eddie has been feeling for the past ten minutes.

'Are you serious?' he asks, for one second showing more clarity in his eyes than Eddie has seen all evening.

Eddie nods.

'So it's not...' Steve stops himself, swallows, frowns. 'You're not into, like, hurting people and shit?'

And finally, it all clicks together in Eddie's mind: the repeated chorus of I can't, the story about the Russians, the goddamn handkerchief... Flagging. BDSM.

'Why the hell would I get off on hurting you, Steve?' is all he can get out of his mouth.

And Steve honest-to-Satan starts giggling; it sounds so relieved that Eddie kinda feels like giggling too, scary metal image be damned.

'I dunno, it's more common than you think,' Steve mumbles. 'I wouldn't judge you, alright? But I knew I could never give you that. No matter how much I like you. And then you'd get bored of me.'

'Oh, Steve,' Eddie whispers out. 'You don't need to worry 'bout that, I swear. For all I care, we can have the most vanilla sex in the world forever. Or never have sex at all. As long as it's with you... I'm good.' Eddie cringes as soon as the words leave his mouth: it sounds too cheesy, too sincere. He kinda hopes Steve will have forgotten this particular part of their conversation tomorrow morning.

But Steve doesn't look at him like he thinks it's stupid at all: his eyes are wide and he's smiling a soft smile.

'You sure? You won't get bored?'

Eddie chuckles. Now that he's being too goddamn cheesy anyway, he might as well double down on it. 'I can't imagine getting bored of getting to hold this body in a million fucking years. In any way you'll have me.'

Steve heaves out a relieved sigh before he buries his head against Eddie's chest.

'Can I bring you home, now?' Eddie asks.

There's a twinkle in Steve's eyes when he lifts his head again.

'Ooohhh... You wanna have the most vanilla sex in the world with me now?'

A chortle escapes Eddie's lungs.

'Um, maybe tomorrow, when you're not drunk off your ass,' he answers with a wink. 'For tonight, just lemme get you to bed, 'kay?'

'Okay, big boy,' Steve answers, and Eddie can't help but laugh before he presses a kiss against Steve's forehead.

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #thought i'd finally put in my own 2 cents about them hanky debate #if you even care #seriously have fun with your hc's however you like but #let's address the trauma here alright #(and let them have the most boring vanilla sex forever i guess) #can you tell i'm in my soft steddie era? #I JUST NEED THEM TO BE SOFT GODDAMNIT #maybe it's my own yearning but LET THEM BE SOFT #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #fanfic #fruity ficlet #tw alcohol

[certainlynotasimp]

Okay, first of all, how are you? Hope you’re doing well! Drink plenty of water, stay hydrated- Second off, your Sunny fics? *chef’s kiss* so mainly, what if anybody made Sunny cry and Miguel had to find out about it? And Sunny’s trying not to make it seem like a big deal in order to keep Miguel from, you know, absolutely obliterating anyone.

Come on, Baby, Cry.

((Miguel O' Hara X Female! Reader))

A/N: Oh my goodness, thank you so much for the compliment. All my readers? *Extra chef's kisses* I am very hydrated and I got so excited to write this for you and to add some angsty content lol. I hope you enjoy this and let me know if you are disappointed or if you love it.

A/N: I also wanna address two things before I post this too. 1) thank you so much to the anon who asked me to include translations for the Spanish phrases as I was honestly not thinking about doing that. I will do better to include the translations at the end of the fics. 2) There are gonna be some triggering topics explored in this one-shot so if you don't want to hear about near injuries to children or child loss, then I understand if you don't want to read it. Feel free to enjoy my other fanfics and here's the post where you can stay notified on happier Sunny and Miggy fanfics.

Warnings: Grumpy x Sunshine, Barely using (Y/N) ((Sunny is just their nickname, not their actual name.)), Female pronouns, PTSD, Mentions of Child Loss, Endangerment of a Child ((No children were actually hurt, just traumatized)), Trauma, Comforting, Fluff, Angry Miguel, and Google Translate Spanish.

The room fills with squeals and giggles as the chase between the chubby toddler and the jumping spider. Mayday swings her little self around the corridor as the young woman follows behind amused by how agile the little tyke was. 

‘Maybe she’ll make a good sidekick in the future.’ The smiling woman muses in her mind before a bloody image flashes in her mind. Shaking her head, she clears the idea out of her mind as Mayday reaches an open window. 

Her quick scream of horror as she accidentally swings herself out of the window causes the woman’s blood to run cold as she flings herself out of the window after her. “MAYDAY!”

The adrenaline coming from her heightened fear causes the whole thing to appear to be trapped in time as the spider woman falls with the screeching infant falling inches away. Tears clouded her vision as she shoots out her webbing to the pillars around them as the images of flames lick at her eyes. 

So many flames, and too many buildings at once. Screams and pleas from below as she tries to be there. They didn’t matter to her, not at that moment. The only one who mattered was him. Did he scream like that too or did he not even feel it?

Using her webbing, she quickly creates a hammock for Mayday to fall on a few feet from the ground, thankfully trapping the wailing infant so she can’t escape. Unfortunately, reality doesn’t set in time for the spider as she slams into the titanium flooring below, knocking the air out of her lungs.

Many spidermen gathered as they heard the commotion, but she could only focus her blurry vision above her as she tries to regain her sight. A familiar blur of bright pink swings up and grabs the ball of ginger hair in a muddled mess of cries. He quickly drops down to where the disoriented woman was splayed out below with the whimpering infant in his arms.

“Hey, Sunny, you alright?” Peter calls his friend. The damage didn’t look bad from the outside, but he was sure she had some nasty concussion with how she was looking at him.

Hobie crouches down beside the crumbled girl and carefully lifts her head up with one hand. “Oi, Sunshine, you there?” He mutters as he looks into her eyes. He holds up his hand and makes three fingers pop up. “How many fingers do you see, love?”

With a cough, the woman croaks out, “Three?” Her eyes begin to focus as her enhanced healing works out the stars in her vision. With the help of Hobie and Peter, she stands up with a whimper at the feeling of her shattered ribs forming back together. “Damn, I forgot that falling several feet actually hurt.” She attempts to joke despite her wheezing breath. The crowd around them laughs as Peter sighs in relief.

“Thank god, you’re alright.” Peter mourns as a glint of regret shines in his eyes. “I’m sorry for all this, Sunny. I shouldn’t have let her bring the web shooter here. She almost swings herself out of the window all the time and MJ told me that one day I won’t be there to help the next time it happens.” Mayday’s cries end as she sees her favorite play partner up and well as she shows off her gummy smile.

“Well, luckily I was here to save the day.” The disoriented spider muses as she returns the infant’s smile as the men chuckle. The crowd dissipates leaving the injured spider with her two friends.

“I’m still really sorry, P. I got distracted and didn’t see that the window was open.” She winces as she blames herself for being so neglectful.

“Don’t sweat it, kid. This little rascal will probably send me to an early grave with all the mischief she causes.” Peter jokes as he tickles his now roaming daughter, chuckling at her excited squeals.

“Good thing you don’t have a kid, Sunny.” Hobie chuckles. “You would lose them in a heartbeat.”

The bright atmosphere shatters as the woman abruptly pulls away from her friends. The men look at her confused until they saw the look in her eyes. The normal warm and inviting gaze that they all thrived under was gone, only a dark void was staring back at them. Their light now shining in hurt and sadness as memories cloud her mind. Her lip trembles in a tight line as tears begin to roll down her face. 

Hobie looks confused at the sudden shift, but Peter realizes something as he looked at his trembling friend. Her eyes burned with tears as they locked with his. She had a haunted look about her. It's a look only parents can ever understand and fear. The look Peter himself almost experienced. “Hey,(y-” Before Peter can comfort her, she activates her mask and turns invisible before running off, her muffled sobs leaving them speechless.

Hobie groans as he realizes two things. One, he just made the sweetest person in the world cry. And Two,...

Miguel is gonna kill him.

~~~~~~~

The warm glow of the portal illuminates the surveillance room as the blue spider steps out covered in a musty yellow goo. Lyla smirks as she observes the little chucks slipping onto the ground as Miguel attempts to dust off the slime from his large shoulders.

“Was your mission successful, boss?” The assistant snarks as she sends out a little robot to follow the annoyed Spiderman. The little bug-like contraption eagerly swallows up the disgusting mess Miguel left as he walks up to the platform. “The anomaly was captured and disposed of. Next time, warn me if William Baker is made of anything except sand.” He grumbles as the sound of the little robot annoyed him even more. 

“I’ll make a note of that.” The AI giggles as she downloads the mission info from Miguel’s gizmo. “Also ‘Miss Sunshine’ is here and she doesn’t seem too happy.” She says before fading out.

Miguel’s eyes widen upon hearing that his sunny partner was upset. She was never upset. Never. With concern eating away at him, Miguel shoots out a web and swings himself to the platform above. He lands softly as he sees the scene in front of him.

His sunshine sat in his usual seat in front of the monitor. Her costume was dirty with a chest compression brace wrapped around her ribs as her choked sobs wheeze out of her. Her mask was off as her head rested against the ice pack in her hand, her back leaned forward as her attention was focused on the image before her.

He already knew what was on the screen.

He knew that file name by heart just like how he knows Gabriella’s.

File SW-0001425

World 16457-0

Spider-Woman- (Y/N) (L/N)

Age of infection- 23

Occupation- Intern Medical Research Assistant in the Genetics Department of { REDACTED } working under Dr. {REDACTED}

Sacrifice: Ben (L/N), age 4, Son of (Y/N) (L/N), 1 year into being Spiderwoman

Cause of death: Blunt Force trauma and Smoke inhalation caused by a multi-location attack caused by { REDACTED}

Status of Universe: DESTROYED

On the screen, the laughing face of a younger Sunny shines as a chubby cheek of a baby boy with dark curls smooshes into hers. The faint sound of a child mimicking the smooch of a kiss can be heard as the overexaggerated gasp of the woman causes the toddler to squeal. “That was such a sweet kiss, Benny. Can mommy have another one?” The sweet voice soured the air as the sobbing woman mournfully watches her baby boy.

The baby she failed.

Miguel approaches behind her and slowly takes the mouse from her weak grasp. The broken woman sighs as she realizes her miggy is here with her now, but doesn’t turn to look at him as he pauses the video. Her baby’s matching eyes stare right back at her before Miguel turns the chair around to face him as his mask disintegrates. His eyes glow red under the light of the monitors as he searched her sore eyes. Her face was red with a noticeable bruise along the left side of her face. Tears and snot crusted over her soft features as her lips remained turned into a trembling whisper. Her pupil shone in self-loathing and searching for his comfort. He could tell that this episode isn’t just one of her low days, something happened.

Something happened and he wasn’t here to stop it.

Miguel closes his eyes as his hand caresses her cheek. The warmth of her flushing face nuzzling into his palm allowed him to ground his rage as he focuses his gaze back onto his beloved.

“Mi luz, ¿qué pasó?” He seethes as he looks deep into her eyes. 

She shakes her head as she tries to avoid looking into his concerned ruby gaze. The glass bridge was already cracked as she internally debated with sobbing everything that happened into his warm embrace or to protect her friend from the wrath she knows Miguel will unleash if he knows what was said. The warmth of his other palm cupping her cheek, guiding her to a wandering eye to look at his frowning face nearly broke her.

“It was nothing, Miggy…”She whispered as her voice trembled again. She tried to control her eyes from unknowingly confessing while she tries to bite the wobbling pout. “It was an accident…”

“What.” Miguel runs his thumb under her abused mouth as a piece of her disheveled hair was swept back. “Happened?” His demand is punctuated as he holds her in his stare. His eyes burned with barely contained fury and protectiveness as he studied her reactions. “Odio verte como la suya, mi amor.” He admits with a sigh.

Leaning forward, Miguel places a firm kiss on her forehead as his beloved’s breath shudders at his touch. The gentle heat under his touch left her trembling as the glass began to crack. “Let me ease your pain…” He whispers as he trails his kisses down to her eyelids. “These eyes are meant to be filled with happiness, not sorrow…” The cracks deepen as he gently kisses her nose. “I can’t undo what has happened…” The corners of her lips were caressed by his as his nose brushed against her cheeks causing her eyes to meet his mirrors. Her sorrow and helplessness are reflected in his ruby eyes as he kneels on the ground between her legs. A silent plea breaks the resolve she built as he mutters into her ear.

“Please, mi sol, at least let me feel your pain too…It's me and you against the universe remember…Por favor no me dejes solo ... No quiero perderte de nuevo.” He begs as the tension shatters. 

With her arms snaking around his shoulders, the little spider confesses all that happened hours prior into his ear. Each detail, each scar, burned into his mind as she clung to his neck and hair. His inferno of rage almost imploded until he looked back into her eyes again. The relief of letting go of all of her troubles made her face look years younger as she looked at him with her big vulnerable eyes. 

Hobie will have to wait. His love needed him now.

In a silent nod, Miguel wrapped her weak legs around his waist before he stood up. Feeling her snuggling into his throat, he carries her toward her room down the hallway while the annoying robot follows them to clean up the mess. As he enters the room, he releases some of his anger by smashing the bug with his foot. 

“What was that, Miggy?” She croaks as she weakly tries to look over his shoulder.

“Just a bug,” He sighs as he approaches her dresser and grabs his spare set of clothes from his drawer. “You want your clothes or mine?”

“Yours…” She shyly admits as he feels the heat returning to the cheek on his neck. 

“Muy bien, niña bonita. Lo que quieras.” He whispers as he grabs another set of clothes that he knows will swallow her. With that, he carries them into her personal bathroom and spent the night slowly bringing back his sunshine.

~~~~~~~~

A deep scream rings out through the Lobby as they see a flash of blue fury tackles the residential metal head into the ground. Peter hurries to save his colleague along with a few other Spidermen as Mayday laughs at the anarchist getting thrashed by the clawed man spewing Hispanic curses at him.

~~~~~~~~~

Translations:

Mi luz, ¿qué pasó? - My light, what happened?

mi sol - my sun

Por favor no me dejes solo ... No quiero perderte de nuevo. -Please don't leave me alone...I don't want to lose you again

~~~~~~~

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@boredwithlifeatthispoint

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#spiderman #miguel o’hara x reader #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spiderman into the spiderverse #into the spider verse #miguel ohara #miguel o’hara #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman fandom

[jahiera]

How To Know If Your Evil Vampire Boygirlfriend Really Likes You (a meta on Astarion's manipulations of Tav deeper into the romance.)

Okay, this was supposed to be a response to this ask right here, and it got so long I decided to just put it in its own thing for slightly easier reading. Thank you again to the asker for giving me an excuse to go off the rails talking about THE BOY. This also got long enough that it needs. Subheadings. And it is [checks notes] 3.6k words long. If you're interested in skipping the act 2 Scene Breakdown and going straight for the character analysis of Act 3 specifically, you can jump to the uhhh 3. Yeah He's Manipulative (Trauma Edition) subheading.

Prefacing that this is just my personal interpretation of Astarion here, the game leaves several moments ambiguous on purpose & I'd be super intrigued to hear what anyone else thinks is going on in this rancid little lad's head. This became more of a process of breaking down what I think he's doing in each scene than anything else, so I hope it's interesting to... you? reader? Since it's a bit long-winded and a lot of speculation and interpretation on my part for his wild ass behavior.

(Also, I haven't played far enough with an ascended Astarion to properly break down the differences between both--he'll have his own playthrough for sure but since I haven't gone far enough in that path, all of this is with no-ritual Astarion in mind) (I also don't have screenshots for everything but hopefully that's alright. just trust me bro.)

Fair warning, I didn't proof-read this & I moved paragraphs around so if it sounds incoherent that's a feature not a bug. Now. Let's get into the EVIDENCE.

1. but did he mean the kisses????

So, before the hug scene, the game leaves us a bit of room to interpret the progression of the relationship. I kind of wish we had one extra scene to sort of solidify his growing feelings in the in-between period of his "I'm just sleeping with you to secure my safety here," era (pre-confession as we'll call it) and his "oh shit I actually kind of care about you," era (post-confession, pre-ritual), but I understand why it wasn't included. Game mechanics & cost aside, the space between these two periods is left entirely up to player interpretation, & has lots of room for HC up to each individual player & Tav.

To address the easiest examples the asker gave, the repeatable kiss dialogues are all ones I'm going to mark under "sincere." Mostly because those are all post-confession, and after Astarion has acknowledged to himself (& the player) that he doesn't want to do anything sexual, but presumably kissing is fine (given that he's enthusiastic about the kisses & will shut down sex/intimacy acts otherwise.)

There's not really a logic to him being slinky here, and I didn't interpret any of his post-kiss repeated dialogues as insincere, much more so playful or coy or cheeky. The voice acting is subtle here, but I found it to be much more playful than his annoying little, for lack of a better word, purring "hello, beautiful" etc etc in act 1 / early act 2. Also, all these dialogues stay the same after the ritual happens, and your romance has been solidified in the grave scene, where he wholly says:

"I feel safe with you. Seen. And whatever the future holds for me, I don't want to lose that."

^ Not a lie. So I think we can mark off those particular dialogue as sincere.

In act 2, there aren't really a lot of places for Astarion to actually get into his manipulative tendencies. He overtly needs your aid with Yurgir (Repeat after me: thank you for helping me. It was very kind.) so he doesn't really manipulate you at... all...? in my opinion? Act 2 shows you his most sincere moment yet in the confession/hug scene. He is not lying. He is more honest in those moments than he has been in the entire game, and it shows in his wording, his body language. He's uncertain of himself, maybe. He doesn't know what to make of the situation yet. He says as much to Tav when you ask him "What are we?" and he says:

"I don't know. But isn't it nice? Not to know. You're not a victim. Not a target. Not just one night it's better to forget. But then... whatever in the world could you be?"

He has no reason to say that without sincerity. He could say you're his specialest babygirl if he wanted to keep up the lie. And other than helping him with Raphael, there's really not a moment where Astarion has an opportunity to manipulate you....

EXCEPT.

EXCEPT. For this moment in particular. which is one of my FAVORITE Astarion ones because it is gloriously bitchy.

2. what if we took over a cult, babe.

Context first: I played a paladin of devotion, rough around the edges but fairly good-aligned Tav. She was a bit of a jerk but she saved people for free, and I adhered to her dialogue roleplay hard, choosing the "destroy the Absolute" dialogues at every turn. I don't have a save for this scene sadly otherwise I'd replay it and compare/contrast answers like a pepe silvia meme, so I'm only able to break this scene down from that particular lens.

Secondary context: This scene is important because it highlights Astarion's manipulative routine while still with a Tav he's very fond of (exceptional approval in this scene) and the way he lays it out is necessary to understand the moments later where he tries to manipulate Tav again, since it has components of the same themes, ideas, and tendencies that go on.

So, Astarion will hit you with this hot take early-ish on.

"You know. I feel a connection between us. Like we're two souls walking the same path (...)" Astarion establishes emotional connection, and a foundation of similarity/commonality/shareed interest. This is pretty standard fare for him. He does the same thing a lot early in act one, where he's almost CONSTANTLY asking you to "trust him," (when you really should not.)

"You might be a little naive in the ways of the world, but I see promise in you. Ambition." - He kind of snidely reveals what he actually thinks--you're a bit naive, you "have a big heart,"--he's hoping that his emotional cloying and little comment and connection with Tav will be enough to sway them over to what he wants to do, and they'll give him what he wants because We're So Similar, See?

"So I was thinking, what would be the right thing do when we get to Moonrise Towers?" - He wields his language carefully. The right thing to do. That's a language he thinks Tav speaks. An interest in doing the Right Thing; so, he adjusts accordingly. He wants to do the right thing too, you see, and the right thing conveniently lines up with what he actually wants, which is real power. Astarion confesses he's not a details guy, yada yada, then--

"If we can take that control from them, imagine the power we'd wield." <- He lets slip what he's actually interested in. Astarion generally can't keep a charade up for too long. His real thoughts always come through, and he reveals his hand in conversations often, but usually in offhanded ways and, well--he's never made a secret really of where his actual interests lie. His attempts at currying your favor and persuading you (and you can really feel the persuasion here) are prettyyyyy overt, but still, he's trying anyways.

"I'm just saying there's an opportunity here. If we can control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe and liberate the world from this evil." <- He brings the conversation back around to what's more neutral than Absolute Power -- keeping ourselves safe. He uses the We and Us language a lot when he wants to convince other people of anything, really. "We're all such good, trusting friends!" he'll say, lying through his FUCKING teeth. His manipulations here are like.... pretty clear, but he still gets an A for effort for trying to align himself with Tav & Tav's perceived goals & see if he can wriggle in his own in the process, put "become god-cult-leader" up as a Reasonable and Rational thing to Want to achieve.

The actual question here: does he care about Tav at this point? Up for interpretation, but I'm going to say yes with... the caveat that I don't think he's fully acknowledged it to himself, and I don't think it's love here. It is high approval though. I do think he cares about Tav, I do think he's including Tav in longer-term goals, he's depending on Tav at this point as an ally he can count on, and he's starting to get chipped away at.

I don't even really think it's a lie that he on some level would like to see Tav safe, and takes their wellbeing into account. He's been with them long enough to worry over their safety to some extent, and to at least partially lump it in with his own (in my opinion). Is that love? I don't think so. "We can finally be safe," is a reoccurring theme in the other scene I'm going to break down in just a second. And it's interesting for a lot of reasons.

And furthermore: you can care about someone and still be manipulative toward them. That's a core thing going on here, I think, with Astarion.

3. Yeah He's Manipulative (Trauma Edition).

"Is Astarion Manipulating Me In Act 3? " YES. A little bit. And here's why it's INTERESTING.

So, the confession scene in act two has already happened. Astarion has confessed some of his big mushy feelings to you. He likes you. You've slammed the "can I kiss you?" dialogue 100 times already because you're really super normal about the vampire twink. He doesn't know what to make of his caring about Tav yet. See: his "what are we??" dialogue.

MOVING ON. Astarion is also, a manipulative little shit, and he will NOT change his ways just because he likes you a lot and giggles when you give him a little kissy kiss.

Astarion is deeply, deeply traumatized, and his trauma has in his own words makes him act out the same cycles of behavior that he did prior to escaping Cazador. In its most obvious format, one of those behaviors was seducing Tav because that was the kind of behavior he knew, and it was the only thing he could think of to secure his own safety. By act 2, he's somewhat aware of the cycle, but--

Traumatic behaviors, like anything relating to surviving abuse & getting out of it, come and go in waves. You'll likely not find a survivor of abuse who doesn't revert back to coping mechanisms at times, especially in moments or episodes of heightened stress, or being put back into the old environment again. ->

Astarion going back to Baldur's Gate--and specifically with killing cazador in mind--is him going back to that same place where traumatic events occurred... almost constantly. Thus, he goes back to his old behaviors. Not to the exact same level, but it is there.

Safety. THIS is a word that comes back a lot with Astarion, it is one of his most reoccurring (if not the most) themes. He wants to feel safe. He associates power with safety, because the safest person in the world--as in, literally safe, not "safe for other people"--in his mind, is Cazador, who is powerful enough to repel any threats to himself & what he owns, has, possesses, and keeps.

Astarion is still, at his core, no matter what, self-serving. He will do what's best for himself first and foremost in almost every circumstance you put him in. Or at least, he will want to--if Tav or someone else stands in his way, and he sticks it out, it'll be begrudgingly. That's a fundamental aspect of his character & to try and do away with it makes no sense.

And in case it got lost, I'll reiterate that I do think Astarion's actual feelings for Tav at this stage are entirely genuine, & deeply felt. It shows, and it's obvious. He's just got several layers of behavior going on in the process.

"But I thought astarion liked me??? why would he consciously choose to manipulate me??" The thing is, once again, you can like someone and still try to manipulate them, pull on their heartstrings, or quite frankly guilt trip them into helping you kill like, a lot of fucking people so you can become godlord supreme emperor of mortals and vampire kind.

Let's get into the second scene I want to break down. Keeping all of what we've established above about how Astarion goes about establishing connection & togetherness & the idea of shared safety to sway Tav over to his side.

So let's set up one thing for sure. It's pretty obvious, everyone gets this scene, but let's set it up anyways.

"What's a handful of the wretch's servants? IF they're anything like me when I was enslaved, they'll all be begging for death anyways." <- apathy toward others, generally motivated by self-interest, lack of empathy for others' plights, a callousness that is fairly unrepetant. He's fairly sure this is what he wants, and--

"After two hundred years of pure shit, I think I deserve something better." Again, Astarion tells us exactly what he's thinking. And what he believes. And he's not wrong! He does deserve something better than what he had before. Or, at least, he doesn't deserve the level of cruelty he endured at Cazador's hands. However.

And then he follows it up with, "I know you do [care]. It matters to me too. I want to be able to protect you too." <- finally, we come back around to the reoccurring theme he'll use to sway Tav over to his side. He sees the soft point of Tav in the conversation--they care about him--and he needles that in; they care about him, he cares about them, they should help him complete the ritual for it, it's what's best for everyone. Except for the 7000 spawn, but. You know.

NEXT IMPORTANT SCENE. let's take a look at the scene that follows after you confront his fellow vampire spawn in the tavern.

I'm keeping the full screencap so I can keep his shifty little look in here. It's not the best format, I wish I'd kept videos, the body language & voice acting adds a lot to this moment, but. Neil you're so good at balancing Astarion's careful shiftiness, his gleeful/vindictive revelry at being so close to his end goal & confronting his siblings without flinching, his coy little pleading, and his near desperate watchfulness. He needs Tav. He cares about Tav, yes, but he needs Tav to help him.

Astarion is, again, fairly callous about the deaths of his brethren. You have to remind him time & again to maybe empathize with their suffering & similarity to him. But each time he reverts back to, "their lives" serving a greater purpose.

Astarion then follows that up with "But we're a team. If I become all powerful, then we become all-powerful." <- I think he genuinely does think of himself & Tav as a team, and as a good one at that. More than anything, Tav is the first person Astarion, in his own words, feels he truly cares for. They've killed a few gods chosens together, Tav has given him respect, patience, care. He feels fairly assured of their presence & kindness at this point. And assurance tends to breed............. let's call it, taking for granted?

I believe he's trying to again emotionally bid for their help & loyalty as much as gauge if they're still with him, as he does by going -> "We are a team after all. You're still with me?" Once again, the easiest way to secure aid is through emotional connections; someone's attraction to you, or better yet, their care for your well-being, are easy strings to pull on to try and entice someone to do what you want them to do. It's not necessarily maliciously intended, but it is a kind of manipulation.

"But Astarion just genuinely wants to know you're on his side!" Yes. And he also really wants you to help him with the ritual. ANY arguments against the idea that he's benignly trying to manipulate Tav's feelings, I'm just gonna put up this screencap right here, one of the last times he bids for Tav's affection & loyalty in this, in this particular conversation:

Look at his stupid pouty face and his "You want what's best for me, surely?" and oh god the voice acting. We're smacked right in the face with Act 1 Astarion's slinky, whiny little "truuuuust me it'll just be a taste I promise &lt;3333" voice. That PURE "I'm trying so hard to connive my way into your good will because I REALLY want this." voice.

His strength is your strength. And he will pleading face emoji his way through getting you over to his side if he needs to. It's honestly so funny, how the writing plays out, because SEVERAL times you can choose to fully fall for it, "yes of course I want whats best for you / want you to be safe / feel good" and every time, he's like "I know I know <333 and I want YOU to feel safe too <3333" and I don't even think that's a lie! I don't think it's a LIE, I just think it's the same pattern of manipulative behavior he's exhibited time and again even when he cares for you.

Astarion is still Astarion. He is very willing to kill, lie, and cheat his way through just about anything to protect himself, & all of that makes PERFECT sense for him. And if you're not on board with his plans, of course he will use every tool at his disposal to get you on board. It is, after all, what's best for both you and him. His power is your power.

4. "I'm doing this for you too." He said, lying. Or genuinely believing that but lying to himself too and executing it in the weirdest way imaginable.

So, this is probably my favorite interaction in the entire Astarion romance. Love the grave scene. Love the horny evil vampire turning. But this moment in particular is fucking brilliant, because it illustrates the dilemma here perfectly.

Astarion outright tells us exactly why he is the way he is, and why he cares for Tav while being able to be so cruel and callous about others. "No one ever looked out for me [...] you're the only one." Tav is exceptional--as in, THE EXCEPTION to the rule--because they cared for him in a way no one else ever has. He has ZERO reason to even bother lifting a finger for anyone else besides himself, because in his mind, none of them ever bothered to help him, why should he bother with them. But TAV. Tav he can make promises too.

On some level, I do kind of believe him when he says things like "I'm doing this for you too." -- As in, I believe that he believes that he's taken Tav into account here as well. I do think he genuinely thinks they'll be an even more magnificent duo of glorious bastards together once he's God Vampire Emperor Of Eternity. And on some level, he's probably right. They do take over the world together in some endings, so. Good for them.

However, do I think he's primarily motivated by anything but himself? No. Tav also benefitting from his mega vampire powers is just a bonus in a laundry list of reasons why Astarion wants to ascend at this point in the game. Why Astarion is willing to pull out every guilt-trippy, pleading face to get Tav to help him, if they show even a hint of reluctance. More than anything: Astarion is a survivor, and a survivor of severe abuse that pretty quickly explain why he is the way he is. Does that excuse what he does in the aftermath of that abuse, when it comes to harming other people? Not really. But it explains it pretty clearly.

Because Astarion is back where he came from, he's immediately thrust back into the cycles of behavior that both traumatized him & were what he had to do. The pattern of behavior, coping mechanisms, rooted in traumatic cycles, that he has done time and time and time again that has successfully gotten him, not what he wants, but what he needs to survive. Does his manipulation of Tav here mean he doesn't care? Not at all. It's just that he needs this work. He needs his allies to help him make it work, and he's willing to pull out every stop to see Cazador dead and himself with enough power to never feel so helpless or vulnerable again.

Astarion can love you & still be himself. He will never stop being a bit bitchy, a bit conniving, extremely focused on self-preservation at all costs. He might not seek out active maliciousness, but even in act 3 after the ritual, he still approves of generally being a sneaky bastard, taking short cuts, taking easy ways out. And none of this is necessarily... a problem? It isn't ""moral"", sure, but it's not really a problem. In some endings, he can pursue ""better"" paths, but his general deceivery and typical behavior aren't going away. Feature, not a bug. How each Tav feels about his ... fairly obvious deep romance manipulations is up to each player though, and that is what's interesting for each playthrough.

There are five more essays to write in here. There's the Astarion after the ritual, who agrees that fine, killing 7000 people is wrong. And there's the Astarion after the ascension, who is now fully entrenched in the idea that Power Is Everything, and all that means for him afterward, and his visceral, intense, obsessive controlling dynamic with Tav where they descend into Chaotic Vampire Evil Marriage. And there's Astarion and Tav together finally, honestly, openly, with the heart-wrenching intimacy of the grave scene. And this is almost 4000 words so I'm shutting the fuck up here.

So. I will end this by saying I'm peeling him like an onion rn I'm obsessed with him. He's gods horrible princess and he's never going to die.

#astarion #bg3 #bg3 meta #the fact that I'm sitting here like 'okay but I'm not even taking into account...' #Astarion.. you vainglorious hilarious evil twink. Why are you so complicated. I'm obsessed with you. #if this flops we don't talk about it okay.... #also I'm not sure but if you need a tone disclaimer my jokes/insults/teasing is all complimentary. unfortunately #I love him deeply. and want to put him in a bag of rice and shake him really hard. #bg3 spoilers

[queenshelby]

Forbidden Desire (Part Five)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader (Female/Incestuous)

Warnings: Incest (at this stage accidental), Age Gap, PTSD, Domestic Abuse, Self-Harm, Fluff, Smut

Words: 5,456

Summary:

This plays after Grace’s death but before Tommy becomes a politician. Lizzie is pregnant with Tommy’s child, so it is somewhere around season four.

In this fic, Tommy suffers from episodes of PTSD and so does the reader, resulting from trauma and abuse. They will help and save each other without realising that their connection is much stronger than they could have anticipated.

There will be love, fluff and smut as well as a highly taboo relationship.

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

QUESTION: WHO IS TOMMY TO THE READER? WHOOPS!

Two hours later, at Arrow House…

Luckily for you, Tommy had left you with his car when leaving the library abruptly last night. It was dark already and, according to Arthur, there was no time to drop you off at your house.

Along with his car, Tommy gave you his address and, after some nagging, you had Linda spell it out to you and give you directions.

His house was outside Birmingham and, when she referred to it as Arrow House, you knew straight away where it was. The house used to belong to a politician who was famous in Birmingham for all the wrong reasons.

He was a criminal just like Tommy himself but, in the end, was poisoned by a very jealous wife.

With that story in mind, you knew your way around and, at around midday, you pulled up in front of the large mansion.

Just as you parked the car and turned off the engine, you were greeted by a woman dressed in black. She was a maid and probably in her late forties.

“May I help you, ma’am” was what the woman said, recognising Tommy’s car. You clearly did not look like a threat to her so she approached you without concern.

“I am here to see Thomas Shelby” you told her while stepping towards the front door while she tried hard to hold you back.

“Mr Shelby does not wish to be disturbed today” she then told you while reaching for your shoulder, which was a manoeuvre that frightened you just a little.

“Please don’t touch me” you cautioned her gently as, suddenly, you heard a familiar voice.

“It’s fine Frances. Let her in, eh” you heard Tommy say from the hallway and, as you walked into the large foyer, you watched him walking down the stairs wearing nothing but black suit pants.

His otherwise naked chest was covered by a large white bandage, wrapping around his right shoulder as well and, just as he spoke to you, he was smoking a cigarette.

“What are you doing here Love? Shouldn’t you be at the gambling den?” he asked surprised to see you and whilst you were worried about him having been shot, you did not address it just yet. You were here to confront him and this was what you were determined to do.

‘Is it true?” you thus asked instead while your eyes were glued to his chest.

‘Is what true?” Tommy asked before reaching for your hand gently, but you pulled away from him with the request not to touch you.

“Alright. No touching” he determined before he asked you to follow him and you nodded in agreement, before doing so quietly, keeping your distance from him until, eventually, he led you to what appeared to be his reading room.

Without saying a word, you sat down on the large red lounge in the middle of the room while Tommy poured you and himself a glass of whiskey.

“Now tell me Love, is what true? Why are you here, eh?” he asked again while handing you the glass and you took a quick sip before placing it on to the small coffee table in front of you.

“Are you just using me to find my stepfather? Is that why you asked me all those questions about him the other day?” you asked almost reluctantly, wanting it to be nothing but a lie.

“What gave you that idea?” Tommy chuckled before taking a seat next to you. He placed his glass on to the coffee table as well and then pushed his cigarette into the ashtray in front of him.

“Linda told me everything” you told Tommy as a few silent tears escaped your eyes.

“I doubt that she told you everything” Tommy chuckled again.

“Why? What makes you say that?” you wondered while Tommy slowly wiped away your tears, using his thumbs.

“Linda does not know what I know” Tommy then told you while caressing your cheeks.

“What is it that you want from me Thomas?” you then blurted out, taken by the gentle nature of his touch. You were overcome with emotions and just needed to know what he truly felt for you.

“I want you” Tommy responded gently while attempting to kiss you but, again, you pushed him away. You did not believe him.

“Bullshit. You want to recover the money my stepfather owes you. Linda told me” you cried while trying to turn away from Tommy but he would not allow it.

“Look at me” Tommy said almost desperately and you did so reluctantly.

“Initially, yes, this is what I wanted to do. I wanted to use you to find your stepfather” Tommy admitted before making yet another admission to you. “I also wanted to fuck you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. I thought that you were a whore and I thought that, somehow, I could buy you. Because this is the kind of man I am. I use people and pay women to fuck. I don’t do romance” Tommy then said while, again, reaching for your face gently but you would not have any of it.

“Get your fucking hands off me” you spat after having heard his admissions but Tommy would not leave it alone.

“I am not finished yet Love and need you to listen to me, eh” Tommy requested. He was not done talking yet and, for some reason, you continued to listen.

“I wanted to use you, yes…but that was before I fell for you and before I wanted to be with you so fucking badly that I no longer care about the money” Tommy then said much more reluctantly before, eventually, telling you what happened last night.

“Arthur killed your stepfather last night. He did beat me to it and, yes, this is also the kind of man I am. I have done bad things Y/N, but you need to understand that this doesn’t change the fact that I am falling in love with you” Tommy finally admitted and your chin dropped. You weren’t sure whether you should be more surprised by the fact that your stepfather is dead or by the fact that a man like Thomas Shelby just admitted his feelings to you.

“You killed my stepfather?” you asked first, thinking that this is the issue that would need to be addressed first.

“No, Arthur did” Tommy said almost bluntly and without regret.

“But what about the money then? You will not be able to recover it now that he is dead. I do not understand Tommy. And why Arthur?” you asked and the truth was that you had so many questions.

“Like I said, I no longer care about the money. What he did to you is what matters to me. He hurt you and this is why I allowed Arthur to kill him. Vengeance can be a powerful thing and Arthur had his own motives for putting a bullet into his head” Tommy told you while making a third attempt to reach for your hands and, this time around, you let him.

“Oh my god” you then gasped and you weren’t sure whether it was hatred or relief that you felt.

“I am sorry Y/N. You probably should not have gotten involved with me. These are the things I do” Tommy said honestly and this time around you chuckled through your tears.

“My mother warned me about men like you” you admitted, seeing that she had warned you about the gangs in the region as well as the men who run the factories there. Of course, your mother had different motives for this, but you did not know this.

“Your mother is a wise woman then and, in case you did not know, my brother used to be in love with her but she chose your stepfather instead” Tommy said, explaining his brother’s motives. “Needless to say, you cannot tell Linda any of this. For all she knows, Arthur shot a man simply to protect me” Tommy then explained and you nodded.

“Does Arthur know about me and what my stepfather did to me?” you asked, wondering what Tommy had told him.

“Yes, he knows about you, but I did not tell him about the abuse. He was devastated when he found that, not only, did your mother marry your stepfather in the end, but also did she have a child with someone else whom he knew nothing about” Tommy then explained before telling you that Arthur was now determined to find out who your father was.

“My father is dead, Tommy. So why does it matter to your brother now? He is married to Linda” you pointed out.

“Closure I suppose” Tommy determined. “Your mother broke his heart which is also the reason I wanted to hide my feelings for you from him” Tommy explained, causing you to chuckle.

“Why?” you asked, thinking that this kind of behaviour was childish.

“Because it feels a little inappropriate, eh. My brother was in love with your mother and now I am in love with you. You are her fucking daughter…” Tommy explained and you were quick to interrupt him.

“You and your brother just shot a man and you are worried about being in a relationship that might be seen as a little inappropriate? Jesus Tommy, it is not that we are fucking related” you laughed, causing Tommy to nod reluctantly before, once again, caressing your face.

“I suppose” Tommy chuckled. “So, do you forgive me?” he wanted to know and you smirked.

“That depends…” you teased.

“On what?” Tommy wanted to know, causing you to bite your lower lip seductively.

“Well, do you remember how we spoke about taking pleasure in intimacy last night? That was before your brother interrupted us…” you said, causing Tommy to furrow his eyebrows.

“Yes, I remember” he responded and you smirked again.

“Good, because that is what I want you to do. I want you to show me pleasure and, if you do, I may forgive you” you told him nervously and with blushing cheeks.

“You want me to show you pleasure, eh?” Tommy chuckled while running his thumb over your lower lip.

“Yes, although perhaps we should wait until your wounds have healed. Linda said you were shot, so…” you began to say while Tommy stood and reached for your hand.

“Trust me Love, I am fine. Come on” he interrupted you mid-sentence before pulling up from where you were sitting.

“Where are we going?” you asked nervously.

“To my bedroom, unless you want one of the maids to watch?” Tommy teased and you nodded nervously.

“No, I do not” you told him.

“I did not think so” Tommy chuckled before showing the way.

***

You followed Tommy upstairs and he let the way into his bedroom which was specious and beautifully appointed.

There was a large cedar framed bed in front of a large window and the crisp air startled you for a moment before, eventually, you began to enjoy the breeze.

Tommy approached you after, for a moment, you glanced towards the large bed. He could tell that you were nervous, so he caressed your face gently again after approaching you and then you stood there, silently, just staring at each other.

Tommy’s hands then moved to yours and you could feel his fingers rubbing up and along yours as he was holding your hand. Your heart was pumping out of your chest and you were nervous, because even though you did not want to leave. you were not sure what was coming next.

“Tommy, I need you to go slow’” you whispered out just before Tommy slid his free hand along the side of your face and you looked deeply into each other's eyes as he stepped in a bit closer.

“Don’t worry Love, I am not a man who likes to rush things” he reassured you and you certainly appreciated his patience.

Tommy then tilted his head slightly and leaned in. He placed a soft closed lip kiss on your lips and your initial reaction was to back away, but the intensity of the moment kept you frozen in place. Your mind was racing at speeds you couldn't even comprehend and you were beyond scared and extremely nervous about what he might do to you.

Tommy then leaned in again and, before you could even make up your mind, he kissed you again. This time, when your lips touched your mouth opened. Your tongue met his and you kissed deeply, softly and slowly, just feeling each other out.

You got so enamoured by kissing him that you forgot all about your surroundings and started to slide your hands up and along the outsides of Tommy’s arms. Tommy pulled in tighter up against your body and you could feel his erection pressing against you.

“God, I love kissing you” you told Tommy as you felt a tingling inside of you that you never felt before. Your body was trembling and your pulse was rapid.

“Good, because I love kissing you too Love” Tommy said after he pulled away from your kiss and started to lightly kiss up and along your neckline instead.

“Is it alright if I keep kissing you here? And then, perhaps, here too?” Tommy whispered against your skin as his hand slowly travelled from your face, over your neck and then all the way to one oof your breasts.

“Oh god yes” you moaned as you were so turned on by hearing his words that you felt yourself getting wet.

You pulled him in closer and Tommy's hand slid up and down the sides of your ribs as our passion heightened. You had no idea what you were doing, or where this was going, but you were turned on and you was liking this.

Eventually, Tommy's hand came to rest on your left breast, over your blouse and you gasped as his palm caressed your chest until, eventually, Tommy pulled his hand away slightly.

Without breaking your kiss, he started to unbutton your blouse, flinging it open as he got done with the last button. He then dropped it to the floor and continued with your bra, slowly loosing the back before disposing of it as well.  

"You are beautiful” Tommy then whispered to you after pulling away from you and whilst you felt the need to cover up your breasts, you restrained yourself from doing exactly that. Instead, you took up some courage and quickly wiggled yourself out of your skirt as well, leaving you standing there, in front of Tommy, wearing nothing but some heels and your panties.

“Fucking perfect” he then said and you giggled in response to his comment while kicking off your shoes.

“Oh, please…” you moaned as Tommy's head dipped down onto your lower neck again. You were not sure what you were pleading for but it must have been something.

“Lay down for me Love” Tommy then ordered gently as his warm lips and tongue whirled along your skin and you gave him a quick nod before stepping backwards and laying down his rather large and comfortable bed.

“Fuck” you exhaled as your head met the pillow.

“It’s aright Love, I will just touch and kiss you slowly until you get used to it, eh?” he said reassuringly from where he was still standing.

He was perfect in every way and you were mesmerised by how handsome he was even despite several scars which he clearly had inherited from being shot.

After not too long, Tommy then joined you on the bed. He kissed you again gently before, finally, telling you to close your eyes but you shook your head. You were not ready for that.

“Remember, I will stop whenever you say stop, eh. I will not force you to do anything Love” Tommy then told you again and, this time around, you nodded nervously.

“Promise?” you asked after he gave you another tender and loving kiss.

“I promise” he then responded and, with that, you closed your eyes and tried to concentrate on the feeling of Tommy’s gentle touch while trying to ignore the growing desire to feel his weight on top of you.

It was confusing to say the least but also god damn sensual.

Slowly, Tommy began to run his fingers over your arms, then your stomach and then all the way up to your now naked breasts. In between, he kissed you passionately on the mouth before nibbling on your ear and neck.

All these sensations were driving you insane and, after as little as ten minutes or so, you could not relax anymore. You were getting more and more comfortable now and you were also getting aroused by his caresses.

This man, who you had met less than two weeks ago, was slowly earning your trust all while fuelling your need and, with that, you could not keep your eyes closed any longer. You had to watch what he was doing to you. You had to see the movements of his muscles now that you could.

‘Tommy’ you thus whispered slowly and he responded immediately.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ he wanted to know but you shook your head.  

‘No. I want to watch you’ you told him, earning you a quiet chuckle from Tommy.

‘Then by all means Love, open your eyes” he said and so you did before, abruptly, looking down on yourself.

You could not remember when your nipples had popped to attention but you saw them now, standing proud against the dark circles around them. They bobbed up and down with your panting breath. You could hardly bear the anticipation of what his hands would feel like as he touched them knowing that, clearly, he would have noticed your arousal by now.

Tommy was not looking you up though. He was much more timid than that. He took his time and smiled while gazing into your eyes.

Your eyes met his and your mouth wanted to speak but nothing came out. You swallowed and tried again.

"What is it Love?” Tommy asked as your skin caught underneath his powerful grip, but nothing came from your lips. You remained silent.

“Tell me what it is that you want me to do” Tommy then told you reassuringly and, after a heart-stopping moment of tension, you nodded and tried once more.

“Could you, uhm…” you began to say nervously as you felt a jolt of desire race through you.

“Could I what?” Tommy smirked just as you dropped your hands down to your breasts and squeezed them. It was a brief release but the contact was just fanning the flames of lust.

"Could you touch me here?" you asked shyly and with blushing cheeks causing Tommy to lean down and kiss you once more.

You could sense him smiling against your lips and, when he traced his mouth over your neck and towards your ear, goosebumps suddenly began to cover your naked skin.

“It would be my pleasure…” Tommy then whispered, adoring your shyness and, just he nibbled on your ear momentarily again, a loud moan escaped you.

Then, Tommy looked at you again and traced his way across you until his large hands were covering your breasts. Tearing your eyes away from his, you gasped at the image in front of you. Your supple flesh fit perfectly into his hands and you immediately got lost in pleasure.

“Like that?” Tommy teased as he began to knead them and rub his fingers over your nipples.

You let out a moan and now you really needed him, needed to feel those lips on yours again. You reached up for him but he was already stooping down to kiss you. You felt a tiny puff of indignance that you were so easy to read, but then your lips were meshing with his and you forgot all about that.

You ran your fingers into Tommy’s hair and kissed urgently up at him. You loved making out with him so much that you would be content to just lie there, together, kissing for hours. He was gentle with you and you were developing strong feelings for him.

“Keep going” you eventually demanded as Tommy flicked one of your nipples with one of his fingers and you hummed your pleasure into his lips.

Then, without warning his mouth was gone and you gasped in a deep lungful of air as he started to kiss a trail around your mouth and chin and into your neck.

“Keep going Tommy. Please” you said again as your core twitched in surprise as you felt a rough hand move across your stomach. His fingers trailed lines of fire down your body as he caressed your smooth skin, drifting down, and down, tantalisingly closer to the heat between your legs.

“Keep going” you shuddered once more in anticipation.

“Where do you want me to touch you Love? I need you to say it” Tommy then teased as the sensations of his kisses at your neck and the touch of his soft hair underneath your fingertips now drove you absolutely crazy.

“Down there…In between my legs…please” you gasped, even though you had never been touched there before.  

“Be specific” Tommy grinned as he reached the area just below your navel and his hand slowed even more; tracing some swirling pattern across your skin there.

“Tommy…please” you begged. Your hips bucked up off the mattress involuntarily as the hand stopped completely just as it reached your thighs. You growled in frustration and lust and Tommy simply smiled.

“Tell me Love, where exactly do you want me to touch you?” Tommy teased as you squeezed his head in your hand. You then pushed him back and locked your eyes with his.

“Fuck Tommy” you said as you reached up again and grabbed his hair tightly. You saw his grin widen briefly before he spoke again.

“Tell me…” he mused, causing you to bite your lower lip.

“I want you to kiss my breasts and touch my pussy” you then blurted out, blushing as you did and this caused Tommy to smile.

“Then why didn’t you say so, eh?” he teased before dropped his head to your aching breasts and you gasped at the jolt of electricity that forked down your body as he nipped at a nipple before softening his mouth around it.

“Holy fucking Christ” you screamed as the warm suction, the friction of his nose on your chest, the feeling of his hair between your fingers; all of the sensations bleeding into one another. But all of them a distraction. His hand tickled and edged its way downwards still, hovering over your hot core.

“Please! Tommy!” you then gasped in desperation. Enough was enough and, as he kept teasing you still, you grabbed his hand and forced it down, beneath your panties, just as you bucked upwards again. His fingers parted your lips and now he could feel just how wet you were.

“You are soaking wet Love” Tommy observed and you moaned loudly at the contact and fell back flat against the bed. His fingers pressed on firmly into your sex as his other hand caressed your hair and cheek. Your mouth opened as your moan turned into a deep sigh. His left thumb dipped into your mouth and you bit down on it as his right hand moved through your wet folds, one thick finger pushing inside of you. Your eyes closed and you moaned around his thumb. Fuck, this was intense.

“And so fucking tight” Tommy then groaned as, eventually, he pulled his head back from your chest after sucking and nibbling on your breasts. He smiled at you, quietly this time, and your hips gyrated and thrust against his touch, but he never slowed his steady rhythm.

‘Tommy’ you moaned as you gripped his forearm as an intense wave of pleasure pulsed out from your clit all the way down to your toes. You could feel the strength locked away in the muscles of his arm and you knew you was utterly at his mercy. It was absolutely terrifying and enticing at the same time but you couldn't concentrate on that feeling, the lightning racing around your body was too distracting. You opened your eyes and felt another gush of heat from your pussy as you looked up into Tommy’s staring down at you.

You trusted him, more than any other man before as blue eyes filled with lust and a burning intensity looked down on you. God, you felt like you could cum just from looking at those beautiful things. It was insane.

"You never had sex, did you?” Tommy then said, almost gently. He assumed as much but you never quite told him how far you had gone with anyone before.

‘No and I swear that I have never been touched like this before either’ you then said and gasped as his finger slid up your wet crease again and then slowly circled your pulsing clit.

“Did you ever touch yourself?” Tommy then asked and you shook your head again.

“Only briefly, a few times, but it never quite felt like this” you panted and Tommy smirked and, every time you felt like you were getting used to his ministrations, he changed his rhythm or set a different part of you on fire. He was playing your like an instrument; learning your reactions to different movements and sensations, drawing out a sharp pulse of pleasure from your body before moving on and building another layer to it. 

But then, his hand was gone from your pussy and the air was a mild shock against your exposed core. You strained your neck down and watched as he suddenly plunged his finger back into you. The sensation was shocking but the wet sound of your pussy greedily pulling him in was what drew another ragged moan from your lungs. One excruciating heartbeat of feeling filled and then he withdrew again.

“Oh god, I am…fuck…I don’t know what’s happening to me” you moaned as another obscene noise filled the room. You felt like you were losing your mind. With every thrust of pressure inside your there came an accompanying sound and you could not tell which one turned you on more. You could hear just how aroused you were; your pussy exposed, and probably dripping, with your legs spread as far as they could.

“You are feeling pleasure Love. Allow your body to relax into it” Tommy said as, once again, he began to build a steady rhythm, getting a little faster but still pausing momentarily before fingering you again, and again. His other hand caressed your breasts, your nipples, your neck, your shoulders; your skin, welcoming his swirling movements. His touch was gentle and caring, just as he had promised. But there was also arousal, a lot of it.

Eventually, after a while, you saw that hungry look on Tommy’s face. He knew that you were close to cumming and you felt drunk on the waves of pleasure sparking over you.

“Tommy” you screamed again as the slow torture of Tommy’s touch had been incredibly sensual but you didn't think that you would ever feel like this. You felt slutty and embarrassed but there was no time to care. Your core tightened and you were just aware of your back arching off the bed and your hips pushing upwards.

“Let it happen. Don’t hold back” Tommy said. He clearly knew what was happening because he snaked his free hand back down your body and began rubbing your clit. He pushed firmly, but not too hard, and made tight circles around it. He kept the same steady firm pace into your pussy but the pleasure and raw heat suddenly pulsing into your brain from your clit was just as strong now. You felt like your senses were being overloaded. You could feel you were past the point of no return, just waiting to fall until you gasped in a final, ragged breath and then you were gone.

“Holy Shit! Fuck! Tomm…” you screamed. Someone moaning and writhing around in ecstasy but it could not have been you, because you were somewhere else. Your mind slipped into a fog and the raw energy of your orgasm raced through where your body should have been. You shuddered and twisted and then, as if a switch had been flicked inside your nervous system, you began to feel things from the sensitive parts of your body.

Your pussy clenched around something filling you up. Your abs contracted almost painfully. Then the rest of your body slowly came back to you and you let out a long breath as everything relaxed and you collapsed against the bed. Everything was too bright and raw. You let out another gasp of breath as Tommy pulled his fingers out of you. You looked up at him and saw a wide smile across his handsome features. Your cheeks and chest felt incredibly hot, as if they were burning. As you basked in the aftermath of your orgasm you faintly wondered if you should say something. Or whether you could say something to him.

“What the fuck was this?” you eventually blurted out and Tommy smiled widely.

“You had an orgasm” he told you before leaning in and kissing you again.

“I never felt this before” you admitted before looking down on your body again, seeing that your panties were covered in your juices now and so was the bed. There was a huge puddle and you wondered whether you had wet yourself, but decided not to ask. This was embarrassing and, yet, Tommy appeared to be rather pleased with himself.

“You probably should get some rest now Love” he said but you watched him closely. Just like the men you had seen at the brothel, he was clearly aroused and you wondered whether you could make him orgasm as well.

“I am not tired Tommy” you thus told him before slowly tracing your fingers over his chest. “May I touch you as well?” you then asked and he told you gently that you did not have to do anything like this, if you did not want to.

“But I want to Tommy. Let me make you feel the way you just made me feel” you determined just as you heard a loud knock on the door to Tommy’s bedroom.

“Fuck” Tommy cursed before walking to the door while you covered yourself up.

“What is it, Frances?” Tommy then asked, causing the maid to blush.

“You have a visitor sir” Frances announced and you watched as Tommy rolled his eyes.

“Tell whoever it is that I am fucking busy” Tommy told her just as you both heard some footsteps and the click of high heel, approaching…

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

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[myymi]

goddamn how many bodyguards do you have

And

who ordered the 'depressing backstory'?

bodyguards;

Tails could feel his nervousness shoot through the roof as he followed Sonic to the field, one of his paws tightly gripping the metal bat the hedgehog told him to hold to keep him from picking at his fur as the other squeezed the older’s paw. Tom and Maddie had decided that it'd be good for Tails to attend Sonic's practice today. It'd give him a chance to socialize with other kids without being too overwhelmed by it since they'll be more focused on practicing. And while he didn't distrust the humans, he couldn't help but disagree. Being surrounded by a group of teenagers never ended well for him. He's fairly sure he's got some lasting marks to prove it, too. But the adults have done nothing but show him love and kindness, he didn't want to go against their wishes. “Hey guys!” Sonic greeted with a wide smile, using the paw that wasn't holding onto the fox to wave at his baseball team. He got a few different greetings from his teammates in response, “My little bro is gonna watch us today.” Tails’ ears pressed against his head when he was addressed, his cheeks flushing as he hid behind the hedgehog. He was still getting used to the title of being Sonic's brother, it felt like a dream. “Finally!” One of the boys with brown hair, green eyes, and pale skin groaned, placing a hand on his hip as he gave Sonic a frown, “We've only been asking you to bring him for, like, forever!” “Austin’s right!” A girl with much darker skin said, standing up from where she had been sitting on the ground. The beads in her braided hair clinked together as she ran up to the mobians. “We’ve been waiting for him!” Tails squeaked quietly as Sonic laughed, “He wasn’t ready to come yet, Aniyah. He just got here a few months ago.” He explained, letting go of the fox's paw to pull him into a side hug.

this fic is basically me taking my brother's old baseball team and making them sonic's lmao

backstory:

Sonic nearly jumped out of his skin when he turned and came face to face with the little fox. He had just been up on the crow’s nest, how was he so silent? Sails didn't look at him though. His eyes were staring at the deck of the Angel’s Voyage, “Ye want me tale, don't ya?” He asked, almost too quiet for the hedgehog to hear him. “Huh?” Sonic blinked at the fox dumbfounded. It had only been an hour or so since their last interaction and the kit was obviously not in the mood to share his story any time soon. What changed? “I..” The fox trailed off. His cheeks flushed red in what the older assumed was embarrassment before he turned to face the sea instead, “I'm sorry.” “For what?” Sonic didn't think the kid needed to apologize for anything. “For gettin’ agro with ye.” Sails grumbled, one of his tails raising so he could pick at the fur on it. “Rose and I talked, and–” “Sails, no,” The teen interrupted the younger, shaking his head, “You're right to be upset with me. I pushed you too much. I'm sorry” The kit looked up at him at that, blinking in surprise at the apology. He wasn't used to people saying sorry when they upset him. “Whatever.” Sails said, shaking his head and looking away once again, “Do ye want me tale or not?" "Only if you want to tell it." Sonic smiled at the fox despite knowing the kid wasn't looking at him. “It's your choice, kiddo.” The fox turned to glare at him at the nickname, “Don't call me that.” The hedgehog quickly nodded and raised his hands in a surrender, “Alright, alright. No nicknames, got it.”

finally revealing who's getting the depressing backstory lmao

i wanted to play around with the prime tails trio's past and this is sails's. i have gone into mangey and nine's too much just yet, but they'll get there own trauma <3

#sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sth #tails the fox #sonic #wip fic #whitecatindisguise #myyanswers

[crazyunsexycool]

The Sun ☀️, the moon 🌙 & the stars ✨

Chapter 12: the sun doesn’t shine as bright.

Pairing: alpha!steve Rogers x alpha!sam Wilson x alpha!bucky Barnes x omega!reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warning: mentions of smut, implied smut, implied oral m/f receiving, little bit of angst, some fluff, poly relationship,

A/N: so something that I always see in stucky x Sam series is that Bucky and Steve’s trauma is always addressed or mentioned but we never really see that for Sam. We’re going to take a look at that a bit here and the little ways stucky x reader help Sam!

Series Masterlist

“Focus.”

“I am focusing.” You shoot back at Bucky.

You really weren’t. Not when he was standing in front of you with no shirt on, some slutty shorts and sweaty. You couldn’t help but watch the way his abs, chest and arm flexed as he moved.

“Yeah, my eyes are up here, darling.”

You rolled your eyes before looking up at him. A mischievous glint in your eye and smile to match.

“I’m paying attention now, alpha.” You call him by his destination which always gets him riled up.

“Behave omega. You have to be able to defend yourself. I know Steve gave you a lesson or two but I want to make sure you can really protect yourself if we’re not around.” He was serious but there was also a bit of pleading in his voice.

“Ok, I’m sorry. You’re right.”

“Now, if you do a good job you’ll get a reward.”

“What am I 5?” You quip.

Bucky walked up to you, crowding your space. His face was unreadable and then he leaned down and whispered all the filthy things he’d do to you if you got the next move right.

“Oh.” You felt heat rush to your face and slick ruin your underwear. “Ok.”

Bucky smirked before he stepped back.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

He moved towards you, faster than you anticipated but you ducked under his arm and then kicked his ribs.

“Good. Next time, hit harder.”

“But I don’t want to hurt you.”

Bucky chuckled. “You won’t be able to hurt me, darling.”

“Fine. I’ll hit you harder.”

Bucky lunged forward even quicker than last time. Again you ducked under his arms and put some real force behind your kick. He stumbled and sucked in air sharply.

“Ok, maybe you can hurt me. That was a damn good kick.” He says proudly.

“I’ve been working on my kicks with Sam.”

“You know what this means right?”

“What?”

“It’s time you get your reward.” Bucky says as he walks to you and then tosses you over his shoulder. You can only laugh as he carries you out of the gym.

Since your heat and their ruts the four of you have been insatiable and inseparable. You loved to be on your knees for Sam. In between his thick thighs and bringing him pleasure with your mouth. He was breathtakingly beautiful as he moaned your name. Bucky loved to eat you out anywhere he seemed fit. He’d lay you down on the table and have you legs over his shoulders. It didn’t surprise your other mates anymore, they just joined in. If it wasn’t at the table, Bucky would pull you into whichever room was the closest and he’d have his way with you there. Steve loved to bend you over any surface and take you. If it wasn’t that he was pinning you against the wall, your legs wrapped around his waist as he pounded into you. It didn’t matter where or when, they had to have you and you didn’t mind one bit. The others in the tower did and they limited your access to certain floors to avoid any accidental discoveries of you and your alphas in compromising positions.

You didn’t care though. The whole situation made you realize how much they had been holding back just because you were there. Now though it didn’t matter you were happy and so were they.

Things couldn’t be better.

“So How are things going with you?” You asked Bruce as he handed you a pillow.

“Everything’s fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Yeah, work keeps me busy. We’ve been able to add a lot more information to the people with no designation thanks to you.”

“A certain alpha is trying to court him.” Wanda adds from her side of the living room.

“Oh, who’s courting you?”

“Natasha. But Bruce here is being stubborn.”

“But she’s so hot.” Jules says as she lays down a blanket. “If I weren’t with Ricky, I’d totally let her court me.” She giggles.

“Same.”

“Me too.”

You and Wanda say at the same time.

“Male omegas are just more hard headed when it comes to courtships with a female alpha. They’ve been told all their life that men should only be alphas and women should only be omegas. It’s bullshit.” Jules ranted as you continued to turn the living room into a giant nest. One that would fit the whole team plus a guest or two.

“I say you take it slow and see where it goes.”

“Hulk likes Nat, she’s the only one that can calm him down.”

“Really?” You turn to look at Wanda.

“Yeah, she even has this cute little lullaby she sings for him.”

“Ok that’s enough about me. Jules is right. Being a male omega isn’t easy, it didn’t help that my father was absolutely disappointed and disgusted when I presented.” Bruce admits.

“Oh, Brucey!”

“I think this calls for a group hug.” Jules announces.

The three of you are on Bruce before he can protest. All he can do is stand there in a pile of blankets and pillows and accept the affection. After a few seconds though he’s preening under the attention.

“We’ve got your back now Bruce.”

“Yeah, I mean I like to think I helped Y/N a lot with omega related things so maybe I can help you.” Jules says as you all pull back.

“By help she means going shopping. So sign me up.”

“There is that new store opening up soon that has omega only products. We could check it out.” Wanda suggests.

“That’s a great idea. What do you say?” Jules looked over at Bruce. He gives her a halfhearted smile.

“Sure, we can start with that.”

“It’s going to be great.”

****

The team eventually got back from their mission. They all went to their separate apartments and showered and changed before going into a debriefing. When they were finally done everyone ventured into the living room which was now made into a huge nest. Dinner, which was made by Wanda and Jonah, was ready to serve and you had been in charge of dessert.

“What is going on here?” Tony sauntered in looking in between the living room and dining room. “Are those my blankets?” He said when he noticed a very luxurious set in the corner of the living room.

“Maybe. We ran out of them and we wanted to surprise you guys with a movie night.”

“But it’s my blanket.”

“And it’s your corner. So only you’ll use it. Besides, Pepper gave us permission.” You say as you move to welcome your alphas back.

“I used to like you.” Tony shoots over his shoulder.

“And now you love me.” You shoot back.

“Hi, Sweetheart. I see you were causing havoc while we were out.”

“I am not.” You give Steve a kiss before moving to greet Bucky and Sam. “We wanted to do something with everyone together but knew you’d be tired. You’re welcome.” You sass as you wrap your arms around Sam who seemed a bit distracted.

He took a deep breath and looked down at you. His brows furrowed in confusion as he took you in.

“Are those our clothes?”

“Yeah, Wanda used magic so they would fit me the way I like.” You smile up at him. “Don’t worry they will still fit you too.”

He smiled at that. “I like you in our clothes.”

You smiled up at him before leading him to the dining room. At the table Sam pulled you into his lap as everyone sat together and talked amongst themselves.

“Are you ok, baby?” You asked in a hushed tone.

“Yeah. I'm fine. Why?”

“I can’t feel you.” You murmur as you rub your chest.

“I’m sorry, just give me some time. It was a hard mission.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You say before kissing his temple. “What can I do to help?”

“You’re already doing it.”

You smile at him before turning your attention back to the table. Everyone is having their own little conversations or talking over each other. Steve and Bucky are beside you, leaning into each other and stealing kisses. The scene before you is sweet and you can’t help but think about what it would have been like to have this as a child.

After dinner everyone moves to the living room and nest that was created in order to enjoy a movie night. The desserts you had made were sitting on the coffee table as well as other snacks for later on. It doesn’t take long for everyone to find a spot to get comfortable in.

Ricky and Jules cuddle on an armchair. Wanda and Jonah take the one next to them with Pietro sitting close by in order to keep an eye on them. Surprisingly Bruce and Nat also cuddle up on one side of the couch while Tony and Pepper take the other end. That leaves Clint sitting off on a beanbag chair by the couch. While you and the boys take up the other couch. Steve pulls you into his lap while Bucky cuddles up next to Sam. You can see Bucky, peppering kisses and scenting Sam as the movie starts to play. Slowly you begin to feel your bond with Sam opening up again and it feels like you can finally breathe.

Dinner was a success and so was the giant nest. So much so that Tony had commented about taking one of the other living rooms in the tower and turning it into a permanent nest. He pointed at you and asked you to be in charge of the project which you accepted.

In the elevator Steve had pulled Sam into his arms while you had wrapped your arms around Bucky. You pressed your cheek against his chest as the elevator ascended toward its destination. Once you were all in the apartment Steve and Bucky headed to your shared room to get ready for bed but Sam headed to his own room. It broke your heart to see him so disconnected so you followed him just to make sure he was alright.

You respected his space even though the door was open, you didn’t just walk into his room. Instead you leaned against the doorframe and watched as he sat on the edge of his bed.

“You don’t have to worry about me, sunshine. I’ll be ok, just need to unwind.” He tells you.

“I know. Is it ok if I stay anyway or do you prefer to be alone?”

It took him a moment but eventually asked you to stay. You walked over to him and stood in between his legs, placing your hands on his shoulders.

“What can I do to help? I hate seeing you like this.”

“I don’t know.” Sam shakes his head.

“What is making you feel like this? Did something happen on the mission?”

His beautiful brown eyes that were usually bright and happy are now filled with worry and sorrow. “I don't want to bother you with it.”

“You’re not bothering me. I want to help. You’re always there to help us, making us feel better when Steve, Bucky or I have a nightmare. Let me do the same for you.”

Sam took a deep breath and then nodded.

“During the mission there was a few minutes no one could contact Steve and Bucky. I had my eyes on them and then they were gone. I was trying to keep my calm for those few minutes but I thought they were gone.” Sam sniffles. “It brought back memories of when I had to watch my best friend die.”

“Oh baby.” You pull him in so that his head is resting against your chest. “I didn’t know about your best friend, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. It’s been a while since it happened. I felt helpless in the field again and I never want to feel like that. It’s my job to have their backs and I failed.”

“You didn’t fail.” Steve said from the door. Bucky stood behind him, worry evident in his gaze. “Can we come in?”

Sam nods and Steve and Bucky sit on either side of him.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell us?”

“I just didn’t want to bother you. I’ll be fine.”

“We know,” Bucky says as he wraps an arm around Sam’s back. “But you don’t have to do it alone. You’re always there for us and we want to be there for you. And before you say anything, it doesn’t matter what any of us went through. Our trauma isn’t worse than yours. You deserve the same support you give us.”

“If you want to be alone we understand and we’ll give you your space. But we are more than willing to sit with you, talk or not talk about it. It’s whatever you need, baby.”

“I’d prefer if you stayed.”

You smile down at him before kissing his forehead.

“Now that’s my job.” Sam says.

“Everyone deserves forehead kisses.”

Sam pulls you into his lap and you yelp as he then stands up. You have no option but to hold onto him.

“Let’s get some rest, I’m exhausted.” He says as Steve and Bucky follow him out and into the shared room.

In bed you, Bucky and Steve doted on Sam. Giving him all the love and affection he could ever need and letting him know he was not alone. Never again would any of you have to deal with any of your past trauma alone.

Ch. 13

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@jupitervenusearthmarso

@skittle479

#the sun the moon and the stars series #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o polyamory #a/b/o universe #a/b/o #alpha!steve Rogers x alpha!sam Wilson x alpha!bucky Barnes x omega!reader #alpha!steve rogers #alpha!bucky barnes #alpha!sam Wilson #steve Rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson x steve rogers x bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson x reader #alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader #alpha!steve rogers x omega!reader #alpha!sam wilson x omega!reader

[soireegurl]

Chapter 1

PSH x reader (feat. YJW)

Synopsis:

Your childhood friend who went through traumas and hardships finally evolved and grew into a successful and powerful man... However, something about him seems to be different...

Summary of chapter:

After 15 years... You finally found your long missing childhood friend... But it seems like he doesn't recognise you?

No Copy rights @soireegurl

Note🖇️: This story contains Yandere themes, Mafia themes. Mention of killing, blood, violence.

"Y/n-ssi! We are going to the airport to meet Mr Park, you didn't forget right?"

You colleague, Jungwon said.

"Of course not Jungwonnie... I got a pretty good memory you know?"

You giggled and made a proud face as you got up from you seat and got your things with you.

"I'm ready, let's go."

Jungwon smiled back at you and followed behind you.

"Yah, who is this Mr Park? Seems like he is quite an important figure... The boss even ask us to escort him to the company."

You asked Jungwon as you both got into the car.

"I'm not very sure about this, but all I know is he is very successful in the West... But I heard that he is a pain in the ass to deal with... He can be quite picky sometimes..."

Jungwon said and made a goofy face which made you laugh.

"Yah! If you let him hear that, you are so dead."

"Well, I don't think he will know about this unless you snitch on me..."

Jungwon squint his eyes at you while making a judgemental face.

"And I'm pretty sure you won't... Right?"

"Of course of course... I'll keep my mouth shut okay..."

You said which made both of you burst out laughing...

The peaceful car ride ended pretty quickly as you and Jungwon arrived at the airport.

You and Jungwon stood at the exit where Mr Park will be coming out from.

Jungwon held on to an ipad which had "Mr Park" and the name of our company written on it.

"Ah... Where is this guy? My arms are getting sore..."

Jungwon complained as he put his hands down while massaging his arms.

"Yah! Raise it up! He might be coming soon!"

You said as you smack his arms.

"Ugh... Okay okay.. chill..."

Jungwon grumbled which made you laugh.

Soon after, a man walked up to you and Jungwon."

"Hi, is this Miss Y/n and Mr Yang?"

"Yes! Are you Mr park?"

You replied with a smile.

"No... I'm his assistant, he will be coming out in a minute."

"Alright, thank you, nice to meet you... How should I address you?"

"Just call me Mark will do."

Mr Park's assistant said with a small smile.

"Oh, he's here!"

Mark quickly walked to Mr Park and escorted him to where you and Jungwon are.

"Yah, he's here, let's go..."

You said to Jungwon and quickly walked over to where Mr Park was.

You got ready to greet him but the moment you saw his face, you froze on the spot.

It's... It's him...

"Y/n? Y/n? Kim Y/n!"

Jungwon whisper-shouted at you.

But you couldn't bother much about his calling as you ate in your own world.

Without a second thought, you ran up and hugged the person infront of you.

"Yah! Park Sunghoon, where have you been? I have been looking for you for years!"

You couldn't control your feelings and let all your tears out.

Without even realising, your tears had drenched Sunghoon's blazer.

But the next second, you got pushed back gently.

"I'm sorry Miss... But I think you've gotten the wrong person."

No... No way you could have gotten the wrong person... He looks just like how he was 15 years ago... Just maybe more matured, but his features never changed.

"No... You are Park Sunghoon... My childhood friend... No way I can't recognise you..."

"My name is Park Sungmin... I'm not your childhood friend... I don't have any memory of you Miss... Y/n..."

"But..."

You were about to continue but got stopped by Jungwon...

"Yah! Enough... Everyone is looking... Let's go back to the company first."

He pulled you back and whispered in your ears.

You looked at Sungmin again while tears were still in your eyes.

You saw how cold Sungmin'spair of eyes were staring at you...

You heart ached at the sight and you nodded at Jungwon's words.

You and Jungwon got into the car while Sungmin entered his car which were behind yours.

You put on your seat belt while thoughts were running in your mind.

"Why is he not admitting he is Park Sunghoon ?"

"What happened to him?"

"Are you okay?"

Jungwon asked you...

"I don't know... I don't know if i should be happy or sad..."

"He is your childhood friend? The one that you always told me about?"

"Mhm..."

"But i thought you said he was dead?"

"I don't know... I saw him fall into the river... And I never saw him again... So I took it that he was dead... But it seems like... That's not the case..."

You let out a huge sigh.

"Maybe you should rest for abit... I call you when we reach the company."

You nodded and closed your eyes.

You fell asleep pretty soon... And you had a dream.

You dreamt about the memories you and Sunghoon had when you were younger... Before he disappeared in your life.

[Flash Back]

"Yah Park Sunghoon! Come here you little-"

You shouted at the little boy who was running around in your small cabin.

"Bla bla bla! Come catch me! You are so slow!"

You chased Sunghoon around your small cabin while he made funny face to tease you.

That was the happiest time you had with him...

The scene sudden changed to when Sunghoon was pushed into the river by his step brother.

"You little brat! You are just a child that no one wants... You should just die!"

He said as he pushes Sunghoon into the river.

"NO!"

You screamed as you woke up from the dream.

"Oh my god, are you okay? Did you have nightmare?"

Jungwon slowly caressed your face while wiping the sweats on your forehead.

"Yeah... Just some childhood memories..."

You said as you tried to calm yourself by taking some deep breathes.

"Anyways, we have reached the company... Are you okay to continue today? Do you want to go home and rest?"

Jungwon is genuinely worried about you.

You have never shown such fragile side of you before.

"No.. it's okay I can continue..."

You reassured Jungwon with a smile that seemed so forced, but Jungwon just nodded his head as he knows that you are not gonna change your mind easily...

Seeing you in such state really breaks his heart.

He has known you for 7 years. Since high school. You have always been cheerful and always smiley... This is the first time you ever got affected by other things so badly.

But now he wonder, what actually happened between you and Sunghoon that you are so much affected.

"Sss... Seems like you are really something aren't you? Park Sungmin..."

He thought to himself while he followed behind you into the company.

Teaser | chapter 1 | chapter 2

Love is pain Masterlist

Taglist: @heeseung-min

#enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen story #enhypen fic #enhypen yandere #soireegurl #yandere #enhypen jungwon #jungwon enhypen #yandere jungwon #yang jungwon #jungwon #sunghoon enha #yandere sunghoon #sunghoon enhypen #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon #park sunghoon #love is pain #love is pain series

[ryo-apologist]

Feathers and Ashes

Shigaraki Tomura x Reader x Keigo Takami

CW: Spoilers, but at this point, they aren't new. This isn't really headcanons or a story, just my thoughts on it. Depictions of toxic relationships.

AN: Okay. hear me out here- HEAR ME OUT. It's always Shigadabi this, Hotwings that, which yes. They are elite. They are delicious. But there's a whole market being missed on Shigahawks. Dusty feathers if you will. All I know is I want to be between them and no one is letting me without letting Dabi in too.

~Darling XOXO

☾ It doesn't matter what side of the war you're on. Not anymore. When entangled with a hero bred from a society crumbling beneath the weight of their owns sins of the very idea of heroism and the villain aiming to destroy it all with a simply touch of his fingers and leave it in smokey ruins, you don't get an opinion.

☾ Maybe you do, but it's biased. Hawks wants to preach that he's a hero, he's one of the good guys, but Keigo can't even believe that himself.

☾ How can he when he has the blood of someone who saw him as an ally still warm on his palms, seeping through his gloves and tainting his very soul. The one still flickering with the hope he had as a child.

☾ Hawks and Keigo are such interesting characters. I say 'and' because I personally view them as two different entities. Not in a split personality way, not, but as in Hawks is a mask that Keigo wears to protect his fragile little heart so no one can touch it. And if we chose to delve into his entire character, he's full of so much gray morality, truly I could write an essay on him and his entire motivations and how he's so much more than what the fandom devolves him too.

☾ Shigaraki Tomura on the other end of the spectrum is an individual so tainted and rocked by a past soaked in trauma thats never been addressed in a proper way that he's blind to positions that even slightly challenge his own. His rivalry with Stain back in season one (two? Idk it's been awhile.) set his character, and thus development, up in the way that told the audience he didn't like challenges to his authority in any way. The following fight against Overhaul confirmed this. There's a difference between the way he was characterized as childish, which he is, and the way his reactions played out to these challenges. With Overhaul, this entire thing showed that above all else, Shigaraki is strategic. He's incredibly intelligent when it comes to battle IQ and war fronts and has proven it. (Not with the USJ incident, but liken that to starting a game. You never know how to play first round, but play around a bit and learn the controls a bit better and you get better.)

☾ Now, why do I say all of this in a post about a threesome with crust one and two?

☾ It's important to know why I find this dynamic so interesting because these two as individual characters are interesting, but look at their parallels.

☾ We have two children, surrounded by broken homes, that need a way out. Their quirks give them that ability, but at what cost? The cost of gathering the attention of adults who know right from wrong, taking them in and indoctrinating them in all the wrong things while encouraging enforcing propaganda about ideologies that directly contradicted what they were preaching.

☾ Neither side is truthfully right, argue with the wall about that (I'm not saying they're justified in how they're handling the war, do not get me wrong about that), but Keigo and Tomura will be damned before giving up their spot in the war, and that is something so fun to play with.

☾ Alright, back to the fun stuff you clicked read more for.

☾ Your opinion? Doesn't matter. In fact, I would avoid that topic entirely between them. Hawks is willing to kill for what he believes in, may Jin rest in peace, but so is Shigaraki evidently.

☾ Keigo and Tomura, however, are willing to set aside their ideologies.

☾ Do not get the idea that this is a healthy relationship by any means. No. I do not believe that even in his darkest depths Shigaraki is capable of anything moderately healthy. In the same vein, I don't think Hawks is either. It's not feasible with their lifestyles, it's not feasible with their missions, it's not feasible with their characters.

☾ Shigaraki is infamously territorial and possessive. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. He wants what he claims is his, and he wants it now. He has the power to do so, he has the will, he will get what he wants.

☾ The only way I can see this happening is this: Hawks takes up a secret lover, how this happens is hard to say- pick your poison, I personally love them being a villain playing undercover hero and getting close, but that's me- and Shigaraki catches wind of this. Let's say we run with that idea, of the sweetheart being a villain of their own right, then they aren't affiliated with the league. Or maybe they are, I don't know. But Hawks and his villain sweetheart are running around, the former believing this is a villain trying to make a change and Keigo wants to help them, if a bit weary.

☾ And Shigaraki notices. Nothing big like the number two playing around with a villain goes on in the underground without him knowing. So he knows, and he doesn't know what the villain sweetheart is going after, but he wants in. He doesn't want anything opposing his rise to power, especially not some half-baked jack-off that thinks Hawks will save them.

☾ But then he meets them and maybe they aren't as bad as he hastily decided. He still doesn't like them, but he isn't going to dust them right away. They chat. Maybe they're threatened to fall under the League, or maybe they're willing to team up in exchange for something. Drugs, money, fire power, hard to say.

☾ But villain sweetheart refuses to give this up. Dabi fucked up with Hawks, he pulled the trigger pin far too early. But them? They have it locked down. Hawks is learning. It's subliminal, it's conditioning, it's something so small that Hawks only picks up on it when something in his routine changes to accommodate and by then it's too late.

☾ I think Hawks is honestly too smart for anything big, honestly he's probably too smart for any sort of manipulation.

☾ For the most part.

☾ Oh you thought I'd leave it at that? No. Think about the Dabi situation. He's down, he's vulnerable, he's been outed and now he's hated by the country. Hawks is dead. Keigo is yearning for something to grasp onto, to hold that won't crumble between his fingers like his hero career currently is.

☾ Now is the moment to strike. You have villain sweetheart offering up information about a mafia group they don't like, giving their information the benefit of the doubt and giving them the title of 'useable'. Not trustworthy, but the heroes take their plea for redemption with some merit.

☾ And Keigo clings to them the moment they offer any sort of apology, fake or not, for what happened, because it's an acknowledgement that he was wronged in some way shape or form.

☾ He's weary of being hurt again, but should villain sweetheart capitalize on this? Work their way deep into his shuddering and quivering heart and take post there? Manipulate the situation so that his focus shifts from hero politics to them?

☾ And then they team with Shigaraki?

☾ Keigo, not Hawks (Hawks is dead. He will remain that way. Keigo is running the show even if he's running it off a cliff), can be considered a guard dog. He's not trusted, fuck no, not at all, but he's defense. He's not trusted as offense, but canon fodder? Absolutely.

☾ If his villain sweetheart needs him, he's there.

☾ Shigaraki isn't happy, but he's too interested in villain sweetheart to let go. So what's the obvious solution?

☾ There isn't a good one. Hawks is, at this point, enamored in a relationship so dependent it's hilarious. He can't let go and he can't be alone, not again. He's done it as a child, he's done it as a hero, and he's hated it. he can't be alone. He can't, he can't, he can't.

☾ But there's a new toy in the toybox, a new piece on the board, and Shigaraki wants it. He needs it, no matter how useless it'll turn out to be. It's a piece the other side doesn't have. An uncontrolled, unpredictable, undocumented variable.

☾ To a degree, he knows what the heroes will do. He knows him and Deku will fight. He knows that. They, admittedly, know he'll do whatever it takes. They know he's going after their foundation built off of All Might and anything, especially Deku, to take it down and he's willing to take quirks to do so.

☾ But this new piece? No one knows what they want. They don't know who they're going after. They don't know what is driving them. And that, in a war, is dangerous. It can make or break either side.

☾ And Tomura Shigaraki wants them.

☾ Keigo has been proven as a non-threat to him. He's not dangerous anymore. He's been disarmed once, he has a blatant weakness to which they can exploit. So if he wants to cling to this variable then so be it. It's not on his radar.

☾ Anything Hawks can do to him, he can combat with his own quirk. He's not worried.

☾ Keigo is terrified. His quirk? We need to be so real. It's cool, yes, helpful, absolutely, but in the grand scheme? Not that combat oriented. He can't beat any of the big bad villain players unless their own quirk isn't combat based. Like Twice. Toga, I feel they are pretty evenly matched and will come down to something like swordsmanship and training. Dabi and Shigaraki? Not a chance. I hate to say it, I'm a Hawks baby fr, but being a Hawks person means I can admit he's only all that and a bag of chips because the commission pushed his image to be that.

☾ Anyway, Keigo? Terrified of losing his sweetheart. He's following them no matter what just trying to garner where they want to take this and how.

☾ So, where are we now?

☾ Keigo, with his hero persona long dead, is clinging to a villain who's using this to their advantage all while said villain is behind the scenes, working with one of the biggest players on the board currently. Said big player thinks this new piece is little more than a morsel of advantage over the other side, but this new piece has taken what is essential a bishop or knight (a piece that you never really think about until you're pinned by them) from the other side and converted them.

☾ Shigaraki is willing to ignore Hawks, but Keigo isn't willing to do the same. It's too risky for him, so he's right back where he swore he'd never go again into the lion's den.

☾ So it's a stalemate. Shigaraki isn't willing to let go, but neither is Keigo.

☾ It's a dynamic that is endlessly interesting to me and something I feel the fandom can explore. Dabi adds spice, but it's been beaten in every way with Shigaraki and Hawks and all three together. But he's got his share, Dabi's kicked to the curb for now. Let's explore these two as one pairing, because their dynamics are endlessly interesting with their parallels and their characters.

☾ I'm getting rambly so I'll end it there. I'm sure I'll write so much more about what I'm dubbing dusty feathers because I love them so much individually and can only imagine them as a pair.

#bnha #boku no hero academia x reader #boku no hero acedamia #boku no hero academia #mha x reader #mha #my hero academia x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #tomura x reader #tomura shigaraki #tomura shigiraki x reader #tomura shigaraki character study #bnha hawks #hawks x reader #mha hawks #Keigo Takami #Keigo x reader #Keigo Takami x reader #Keigo Takami x Reader x tomura shigaraki #Hawks x reader #hawks x reader x shigaraki #hawks x reader x tomura shigaraki #hawks x shigaraki #dusty feathers #darling writes #mha shigaraki #hawks character study #keigo takami case study #look. neither of these guys are healthy

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Coffee & Healing ~Emily Prentiss xFem Reader

Heyyy, I felt like writing a prentiss x reader smut so yeah... Timeline is after Doyle issue throughout seasons 6-7. I feel like the trauma Emily endured needs to be addressed... so here it is:

Mommy...Master List               Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!!, broken and traumatized Emily Prentiss, eating out, implied emotional and physical abuse, face sitting, sex, more implied sex, smut

1450 words

Enjoy (;

You had met Special Agent Emily Prentiss at a coffee shop, and she had immediately caught your eye. Especially, because you had gotten there at their opening time and had been there several hours working on a Saturday, and so had she. Except she wasn’t working. No, she sat there alone, as if she was waiting for someone. But whoever she had been waiting for never showed. Or at least that was your guess. 

You got in line for a bite to eat in order to keep you working efficiently, and she happened to be in front of you. She ordered a to-go coffee, so you assumed she had given up. “Got stood up?” you asked her, desperate to know a strangers story or more likely, to connect to a kindred spirit. “Is it that obvious?” she chuckled. “No no, not at all. I just get it. I’m sorry” you responded with sympathy lacing your voice. “Thanks. Yeah... For some reason it’s so difficult to find a decent person to date in this town” she chuckled again, this one filled with more self-deprecation. You definitely agreed with her. “I’m Y/N by the way” you said. She looked at you, she looked into your eyes about to say something when, “Emily? Coffee for Emily??” was yelled by a barista. “That’s me.” Emily responded as she took her coffee. “Well it was nice to meet you, Y/N” Emily said, “I have to go, have a nice day!”. And then she was gone. But you didn’t want her to leave. 

The next time you went to the coffee shop, you saw Emily again. But this time she had dark circles under her eyes and tear stains on her cheeks. You immediately went over to her. “Hey, I don’t know if you remember me from...” Emily interrupted you, “Yeah, Y/N right?” “Yea!” you chuckled, “Are you alright?” you asked, your voice laced with concern. “If I said yes, would you believe me?” she chuckled in a self-deprecating manner. You sat down across from her. You hadn’t asked but it just seemed right... “What’s up?” you asked. “I..” but she broke into a half sob/half choke. Your heart broke to see your stupid coffee crush so broken. “Can I hug you?” you hesitantly asked. Emily slightly nodded. You came over to her side of the table, which was a bench and just embraced her. You held her for a while. And she held onto you for a while. After a while you spoke up, “Maybe a walk would be good? It’s not raining for once?” “Alright” she said hoarsely. You both packed up your things and left the cafe for the streets of London. 

While you were walking, Emily opened up to you a bit. She talked about losing all her friends from America, and how that had been hard for her. Then as she tried to explain why she left, she got choked up again. You stopped at a park bench to sit and let Emily catch her breath a bit. You had seen these signs before. Hell, you had lived them. At least, you thought. So, you decided to press your luck. “Was it a guy?” you meekly asked, trying to be as delicate as possible if this was the route of conversation you were about to go. She just sat there with puffy eyes and silently nodded. “What did he do?” you pressed. “What didn’t he do...?” she quietly mumbled. You don’t know if she meant you to catch that but besides that comment, she began to move her shirt. By her bra strap line, there was a brand. Your eyes filled with sorrow for her. She had been deeply hurt by some guy emotionally and physically and now she was in a city with no friends, no support. You grabbed her into an embrace. “I’m so sorry” you whispered. 

She sniffled, “I just...  haven’t felt like myself... I haven’t felt good in a while now... I feel like I’m not allowed to feel good or safe” she choked out. Your own eyes started to swell up, “Yea, I understand that.” you whispered. Emily looked at you with that comment, “How did you get over it?” she desperately said. “I...” you were trying to be very careful about what you said next, “I understand the feeling alone and that not even your own body wants to be with you...” Emily let out another silent sob, “And what helped me... was having someone show me how beautiful and valuable I truly was. And that I wasn’t worthless and alone forever...” Emily sorrowfully chuckled again, “Yea, but who would want to do that for me. I mean look at me.” She did have a point. Emily was a mess. But you didn’t care. You knew what was underneath all that. “I would.” you said, “I would help you.”

You two had walked to your flat from the park, and had just entered the main living area. “Are you sure about this, Emily?” you concerningly asked, “I don’t want you jumping into anything which would only hurt you more...” Emily’s response was to invade your personal space and ghost her lips against yours and utter a simple “please..”. From there it was official. It was happening. And you wanted to be extra careful as to not break her. So, you started out slow, you lightly kissed her. She reciprocated softly as well. The kiss went on for a few minutes, with times of both of you having to breath. Once you thought is was ok, you softly asked “Can I take you to the bedroom?” Emily nodded. But you needed to hear her confirmation. Make sure she was absolutely aware and on board. “No love, I need to hear you. Is that ok?” “Yes.” she whimpered, you could tell she was already needy by the inflection in her voice. You slowly made your way into  your bedroom, kissing along her neck and collar bone along the way. “Can I put you on the edge of the bed?” you asked. “Yes.” she responded, lust slowly bubbling out of her voice. You place her on the edge of your bed and knelled in between her legs. You gently pulled them apart, asking again “Is this ok?”. And she immediately responded with a needy “Yes, please, yes.” You continued, “There’s a mirror across from you. I want you to watch yourself, ok? I want you to see how beautiful you are.” You got a hum in response, which you let slide as you were teasing her thighs. “Can I take your skirt off?” you asked, getting a but wet yourself now. She responded with a desperate “yesss..” and a slight thrusting of her hips. You removed her skirt and began to work your tongue up her thighs. Eventually, you got to her panties, for which you looked up about to ask permission when Emily breathlessly whimpered, “Please, god, please take them off.” You smirked at that and slowly removed her panties. She was soaked. Which made you even more soaked. You licked your lips. “Last chance...” but before you could finish your thought, she had her hand in your hair, thrusting you head to meet her thrusting legs right into her soaked folds. You let out an unholy moan, which vibrated through Emily’s body, causing her to moan and face fuck you even more with her legs. Now you couldn’t restrain yourself anymore. Fuck going slow now... You fucking devoured her, as Emily’s lips let out curses, yelps, moans, and your name on multiple occasions. “Watch yourself in that mirror, beautiful” you breathlessly begged in between your laps; within seconds she moaned even louder, making you assume she must have looked in the mirror, Because she truly was a fucking beautiful. You had her cumming with your name rolling off her tongue and your tongue lapping up all her juices. She was breathing heavily and so were you. “Fuck...” she breathed out, as she looked down to see you sitting in between her legs, face full of her cum. She then pulled you up to bed’s edge and began to lick her own cum off your face. You moaned at this. Now you were in her lap. “I want you to sit on my face.” Emily lustfully moaned, “And Oh God, so much more.” As you both began to desperately strip you breathlessly and a mouth coated with her cum spoke, “I have all day for “so much more””. She chuckled as she pulled your soaking pussy over her face, “Good, so do I.” she said and dove her tongue inside your walls causing you moan, “Oh Fuck, Emily!”.

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss smut #agent emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #agent emily prentiss smut #agent emily prentiss x reader #agent prentiss #prentiss smut #agent prentiss smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #lesbian #leasbian fanfiction #bisexual #bisexual fanfiction

[tequiilasunriise]

"Blake, are your parents dating my mom?"

"...Meow."

@min3nc's post about Snowleopard ripped open the Pandora Box that is some of my headcanons about this throuple (and the subsequent Bellaschneeblings interactions in my post here) so sit tight y'all this list is gonna be long because I absolutely adore this healthy bi4bi4bi poly pilf couple that foils whatever the fuck Divorce Mcgees Summer, Raven, n Tai had going on (don't get me wrong, I adore str-crossed lovers, especially whatever the fuck Rosebird had, but cmon you could power a small nation off of their Divorce Energy alone)

-They have zero in-canon interactions but the thought of Willow slowly healing and learning to love again from two characters shown to be incredibly sweet and patient and understanding and oh so gentle and tender and earnest? Guys this alone should sell you on the ship like!! LIKE!!!

-WILLOW HEALING FROM HER ABUSIVE MARRIAGE TRAUMA WITH THE HEALTHIEST COUPLE!! GHIRA AND KALI TAG TEAMING TO VALIDATE AND SMOTHER THE SHIT OUTTA THIS ENDEARING MILF WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!

-Takes a deep breath. Wowie. Do y'all get it though do y'all understand the vision?

-I need me vulnerable Willow asking the Pilfadonnas fer parenting advice and the pair to be more than happy to help their girlfriend just so eager to help!! They're so reassuring and tender with her, making sure she doesn't feel like a terrible shit fer asking fer help about this like, "Oh, oh sweetheart. You've been through so much, and it's a good thing you're fighting fer your second chance to be the mother your children need and deserve. It's alright, darling, we're right here with you."

-Furthermore, Willow would feel so much guilt eating at her for her ex-husband's crimes against the Faunus as a whole and the Pilfadonnas, the leaders of the Faunus themselves, would help talk through her guilt and affirm that Willow is not to blame fer bullshit Jacques pulled and help her with the process of finding a good therapist like like like!!! There's so much shit here guys!!!

-"It was by marrying me that Jacques gained access to the resources tied to the Schnee name and carved out the world. I didn't do anything to stand up to him and stop him from ruining my family's name, and so by doing nothing I'm a part of his sins."

"....Babygirl we love you so much but there's SO MUCH wrong to unpack here."

-Also Willow deserves to be bisexually panicked by two hot cat people bc I said so she just deserves okay trust trust trust

-Anyways, the Schneeblings are mad sus of the Pilfadonnas at first because they ALLLLL know what kinda abusive bullcrap their mom went through in her dead marriage with Jackass Schnee but all eventually coming around to really love Ghira's and Kali's seemingly endless unconditional love (Weiss was the quickest to adapt, then Winter, and finally little Whitley)

-The Pilfadonnas are so sweet and loving to their new kids and see 'em as their own straight up but don't pressure any typa connection and respect the Schneeblings so much like, "I would prefer just Kali, but if calling me Ms. Belladonna makes you more comfortable then go right ahead sweetheart" LIKE THEYRE JUST THE BEST STEPARENTS EVER SO MUCH VALIDATION AND PATIENCE AND SWEETNESS!!!

-"Chieftain Ghira, sir, it's good to see you."

"Winter, while I won't stop you from calling me by that title if that's what makes you the most comfortable, you don't have to be so strict with yourself. There's no need to address me like you're a military subordinate, sweetheart."

"...I would die for you, sir."

"Oh! Um! I'm very grateful for that, but, uh, let's also not huh? Wouldn't want you dying anytime soon ahahahaaa."

"You're right, sir, the Maiden powers should not be so carelessly tossed around."

".....Alright so we're going to go find you a good therapist and start working on your sense of personhood-"

-The Pilfadonnas introduce the concept of therapy and healthier coping mechanisms to all of the Schnees REALNESS

-"But OP wouldn't Weiss already have learned that from her super supportive friends?" Weiss' found family is incredible but healthy coping mechanisms are NOT part of that package deal holy shit hypertraumatized child soldiers left and righttt baby

-Anyways, one time Whitley slipped and accidentally called Ghira "Hey dad-" and everyone FROZE before Whitley rushed his question and then ran the f u c k off as Ghira started wiping tears with Kali holding him close and Willow being so emotional at the her son finally has a solid, good father figure in his life oMG HES STARTING TO ACCEPT THE PILFADONNAS!!!

-Eventually, the Schneeblings graduate to calling the Pilfadonnas just Kali and Ghira (and Blake calling Willow by her first name was already established back when she was crashing Schnee Manor in V8 so we chilling) but Whitley, oh my heart, sometimes slips with a 'mama' or 'dad' to his stepparents and down the line he even stops getting embarrassed over it and GOSH does it melt the Pilfadonnas' hearts everytime he calls 'em that it doesn't matter if it's the tenth or the hundredth time they're sosossooo soft

-One time Weiss was practicing her fencing stances and didn't realize the Pilfadonnas were watching her, and then when they started to praise how amazing her swordsmanship is? Babygirl actually starts to cry a little because it was always, "You need to be faster, Schnees aren't supposed to be so slow" and "What would your grandfather say if he saw such sloppy forms? Again!" and never, "Oh, Weiss, honey, you were wonderful out there! You must have trained very hard to be so good!"

-If you give any of the Schneeblings a fucken shred of unconditional praise they will crumple faster than a stale cookie. On a daily basis, Weiss jokes and asks Blake how the FUCK did she not end up more well-adjusted (she knows about the bullshit with Adam but Weiss also knows that Blake is aware she's just messing around)

-So we've established some headcanons of the Schneelings interacting with the Pilfadonnas, but hear me out awkward as fuck Blake and Willow interactions bc Willow has NO IDEA how to interact with her daughter's teammate turned stepdaughter???

-Because, you know, "Oh uh hey my ex-husband exploited and abused the shit out the Faunus for years on end and you were one of the people heavily affected to the point where you, as a literal child, turned to a life of vigilante terrorist justice as a form of fighting back for your own basic rights"

-Blake, like her parents, completely understand that Willow had nothing to with Jackass' cruelty and instead gives her new stepmom an easy smile and starts talking small talk about Weiss' adventures with Team RWBY and!! Yeah!! Willow genuinely wants to know what's been going on in her daughter's life since she was so absent from it during her alcoholic days

-The pair bond over a shared loved of Weiss, and at one point Willow says, "If it isn't overstepping, can I just say I am truly fortunate that Weiss has someone like you in her life to support her" and Blake chuckles softly and replies, "It wasn't easy at first, but yeah, I'm glad she's in my life too" AND ARGAGRGRHRH THE BONDINGGGG

-Speaking of bonding, imagine the Pilfadonnas vibing with Klein and bonding over tea together, and seeing their adoptive dad figure Klein vibe with their new steparents may or may not have sped up Whitley and Winter warming up to the Pilfadonnas justttt a litttttlleee

-When Kali and Ghira see their stepkids flinch at loud voices or innocently raised hands, when they notice the low self-esteem Winter still carries or Whitley's facade of maturity so that adult figures actually acknowledge him, in front of the kids they're very respectful and apologetic of accidental triggers without being patronizing, but when they're alone? Straight fucking murder in their eyes. The Pilfadonnas are fucken e n r a g e d they're fucken seething because how dare Jackass Schnee hurt these sweet kids so fucking much

-They make sure neither the Schneeblings nor Willow are around when they let out their furious vents to each other absolutely slandering Jackass' name with clenched fists and bared fangs because they don't want their anger to trigger anyone but yeahhhh. Yeah, if Jacques is still out there we're adding two bisexual cat pilfs to the waiting list fer ripping his head off

-ANYWAYS, on a lighter note, can y'all imagine the Belladonnas are vibing and purring together all comfy and shit and the Schnees see them and are like, "Shit man they're so HEALTHY and FUNCTIONAL what the HECK??"

-Blake groaning, "Dadddddd!!" when her dad pulls up with family albums to talk about his precious daughter's childhood and, "Not you too mom!!!" when Kali excitedly joins in. As Blake is play wrestling with her parents to get the photobooks away, the Schnees are just witnessing this in various levels of amused but also kinda like, "Damn wow is this what a healthy family's supposed to look like dannggg that's crazzzzzyyyyyyyy"

-Vacations to Menagerie where the Belladonnas playfully make fun of their sunburnt as all hell white family members, and even though some Faunus are wary of the visiting Schnees, others are more open to giving these guys a chance and hey!! Turns out the SDC is actually going to be a good company after the shit Jacques Schnee pulled. Imagine the healing between Faunus relations and the Schnee family name when Willow and her kids pull up to help wherever and however they can

-I'm just saying family dinners would be so healthy and healing fer Willow and her kids after years filled with so many isolated, lonely, suffocating as hell dinners when Jacques still walked these halls. Instead of stiff etiquette and barbed questions throw their way by a spiteful bitchass with a clip-on tie, there's warm laughter and jovial banter thrown about; genuine inquires about their day/interests that lead to invested conversation and freely given praise; large, beaming smiles from three dark color-schemed people who radiantly glow like the sun. It's like the Belladonnas breathed back life into the hollowed out Schnees who barely survived all the different ways jackass had hurt them, and that's just so fucken lovely to think about

#please go check out part two with the bellaschneeblings interactions shit was SO FUN to write #also!! yall feel free to reblog with ur own hcs!! the more the merrier #snowleopard came outta nowhere and absolutely rotted my brain like theyre actually so good??? #crwby u cowards give me the healthy old ppl polycule they would be so fucken good #Qrow n Willow would be recovering alcoholic bros- much to Winter's chagrin- but its to these two loving cat ppl that Willow comes home to #rebuilding vauco through the power of good parental figures therapy and bisexuality #rwby #rwby snow leopard #kali belladonna #ghira belladonna #willow schnee #pilfadonnas #schneeblings #winter schnee #weiss schnee #whitley schnee #blake belladonna #rwby snowleopard

[unclewaynemunson]

Yall voted for the sober version of this premise so here ya go:

Steve doesn't know exactly what he had expected kissing Eddie would be like, but it sure as hell wasn't this. He would've expected something rough and raw, bared teeth and maybe fingers pulling at his hair. But what he gets instead is something infinitely soft, something resembling tenderness... It makes it all the more difficult for him to pull back.

“What's wrong, Stevie?” Eddie asks after one look at Steve's face.

“I need to tell you something,” Steve manages to choke out.

And Eddie wraps his arms all around him, pulling him closer until his head is lying right against Eddie's beating heart. That heartbeat, steady and reassuring, is all he focuses on while he talks.

“Remember last summer? The mall fire that wasn't really a mall fire?”

“You finally gonna tell me what happened there?” Eddie says. It doesn't sound accusatory, just curious and a little confused as to where this is headed.

“I don't really like to talk about it,” Steve confesses. He closes his eyes, flashes of what happened back then floating to the surface of his mind again.

“We – Robin and I – we were captured by Russian soldiers. They tied us up and interrogated us for hours. They thought we were spies, so they tried to get us to give up information. They hit me.” He pauses to take a breath. “They hurt me real bad, Eddie. Until I was bleeding all over. Until I lost consciousness and Robin thought I was dead. The only reason we survived is because they thought we would have useful information for them.”

“Jesus Christ, Steve...”

Eddie's grip around him tightens, but Steve lifts his head up and makes a half-hearted attempt to crawl away from him. The hardest part has yet to come.

“I really, really like you, Eddie,” he says. “But I can't do this with you.”

Confusion flashes over Eddie's features: his eyes widen and the lines around his lips become deeper. But he still doesn't loosen his grip.

“What do you mean?”

“It's the –“ Steve clears his throat. “I know what it means, the – your hanky. I got a cousin in New York who knows all about that shit, they send me magazines sometimes when my parents aren't home. I'm sorry, Eddie, but I can't do that, like, ever. It's only gonna make me relive that shit from last year. There's no way I can ever give you what you need, so it wouldn't be fair to...” He trails off, not quite knowing how to finish that sentence.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Eddie still looks as confused as ever.

“Your hanky,” Steve uselessly repeats. “You're flagging, aren't you? You're into, like, hurting people, right?”

Steve watches how Eddie's jaw drops, almost in slow motion.

“This?” he asks, grabbing behind him and taking the black piece of fabric, covered in skulls, out of his back pocket.

Steve nods.

Eddie laughs, but it sounds fake and on edge, quickly dying out again. “Steve. This is a metal thing. It looks badass, y'know. I literally have no idea what you're – flagging?”

A gasp escapes Steve's lips and he feels his heartbeat speed up with something that must be hope.

“Are you serious?”

Eddie nods, his brows still furrowed and that endearingly confused look of I-have-no-clue-what-the-hell-is-going-on not leaving his eyes.

It feels like Steve's heart is starting to run laps in his chest, now. He can barely suppress the laughter that's bubbling up inside of him.

“What the hell are you trying to tell me, Steve?”

He grabs the hanky that's still in Eddie's hand.

“I thought you were flagging,” he weakly explains. “It's like a code. To signal what you like to do, y'know, in the bedroom. The black, it means – I thought you were into, like, BDSM shit. Things I can't do: being tied down, getting hurt...”

“Why the hell would I get off on hurting you, Stevie?”

It sounds so ridiculously innocent and horrified: Eddie the freak, Eddie the scary metalhead – Eddie who is genuinely shocked at the suggestion that he had in any way created an image for himself in which it made sense that he'd be into pain.

“I mean, if you would, I wouldn't wanna judge you or whatever,” Steve is quick to say. “You'd be surprised how many people are into that shit, I'm not here to shame anyone. But if you aren't... I'm really fucking relieved, man.”

He still vividly remembers what happened when he was dating Daphne, who had once taken his wrists in her hands and pinned them down on the mattress above his head while she was on top of him. Or when he was with Melissa, who had half-jokingly slapped his ass one time when things were getting heated between them. Anything restricting his movements, anything unexpected, could make him lose his shit now, as he had had to find out the hard way. It had made him believe that he could never actually have Eddie, that that would be asking too big of a sacrifice of either one of them, an impossible kind of compromise, no matter how much they liked one another. But instead, here he is, with Eddie looking at him with the softest look in his eyes, actually having talked about his shit before they even got up to anything more than kissing.

So he tells him, stumbling his way through the words, about his experiences with Daphne and with Melissa. And Eddie listens to him patiently, his big eyes never once leaving Steve's, nodding as if he's mentally taking notes of what to do and what not to do.

“We can take it as slow as you need to,” Eddie tells him when he's finished, his voice sincere and reassuring.

“It's not about taking it slow,” Steve assures him. “It isn't about not being ready. It's more about...” He pauses to think. “It's about trust. I trust you.”

Eddie's hands, that are still wrapped around Steve's torso, tighten for a moment and he blinks rapidly a few times. He looks overwhelmed by Steve's words.

“Okay,” he finally says, a little bit more hoarse than before. “So if it's about trust, can I trust you to tell me whenever something I do is bringing back unwanted memories?”

Steve nods. “Yeah, I can do that.”

It's always been difficult for him to talk about what happened that day underneath the mall. But he realizes he has already done the difficult part: Eddie already knows about the memories he is carrying with him. That must make it easier to talk about it in case it will ever be necessary.

Soft lips press against his temple and he drops his head back on Eddie's chest.

“Good,” says Eddie. The sound of his voice vibrates through Steve's whole body; he doesn't think there's anything more comforting than being completely wrapped up in Eddie like this.

A hand lands in his hair and starts stroking through it softly.

“Thank you for telling me this,” Eddie mumbles. “That couldn't have been easy.”

In return, Steve wants to thank Eddie for being as sweet and understanding as he has been, but the exhaustion of having this talk is washing over him in big, heavy waves. So he merely hums and lets his eyes fall shut.

“You wanna stay the night?” Eddie asks. “We don't have to do anything right now – we can go straight to sleep, how does that sound?”

Steve nuzzles his head further into Eddie's chest. “Sounds good,” he murmurs. He can't imagine ever wanting to sleep on his own again.

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #thought i'd finally put in my own 2 cents about them hanky debate #if you even care #seriously have fun with your hc's however you like but #let's address the trauma here alright #and let them be unbearably soft #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #fanfic #fruity ficlet

[veronicaphoenix]

Chapter tags & trigger warnings: swearing, talks about physical abuse, physical fight, implied depression, alcohol intake. | Word count: 3.1k | Cross posted on AO3 | Series masterpost. ✧.*

General trigger warnings: This work addresses and depicts issues related to addiction and violence, contains explicit sexual content, and explores themes of childhood trauma. Reader discretion is advised.

 “You’re no better than me, Noah!”  “I don’t give a shit. You touch her, you answer to me!”

Author's note: I'm so so sorry for taking ages to update this fic. I'm back to working on it now, and I plan on completing the missing chapters for this part during this month ^^ This is the baby of my fics and the first one I wrote with Noah, so it's very special and personal, and I can't wait to fully dive into it again and continue the story from Zutto. Thank you to each of you that are still following and keep supporting this story, it means a lot to me 🤍 (I don't even know if I had a taglist for part 2, but if you want to be tagged, please just let me know and I'll create a taglist for the upcoming missing chapters ^^).

“Oh, crap,” I heard Lia mutter from the kitchen. 

            I made my way from the studio and leaned out through the doorframe into the open kitchen. Lia stood by the island, still in her pajamas, her arms raised at shoulder level as she surveyed the scene before her. The scent of that morning’s breakfast still lingered in the air as she cautiously stepped back from the puddle of liquid on the floor.  

            “What happened?” I asked.

                She turned to face me, revealing a knocked-over bottle of juice and a sizable mess on the floor. Her clothes were stained, clinging to her skin. 

            “I’m sorry,” she apologized, taking a few more cautious steps away from the messed-up area before reaching the kitchen rag beside the sink. 

            I approached her, careful not to tread on the spilled juice, and took the rag from her hands.  

            “It’s alright. I’ll handle it. You go get changed.”

            Lia looked at me with a touch of helplessness, her shoulders slumping. 

            Five minutes later, her voice called out my name from the bedroom. I found her locked in the bathroom, the scent of her toiletries and perfume wafting out. When I entered the bedroom, she peered out from the bathroom door.

            “What is it now?” I asked. 

            “I need something to wear,” she said. “These pajamas need to get washed. Can I borrow one of your…?”

            Before she could finish, I had already nodded and made my way to the drawer. I pulled out the first t-shirt I found and handed it to her through the open bathroom door. She thanked me with a small smile before closing the door. 

            When she appeared in the hallway a few minutes later, with her hair gathered in a messy bun with two stray locks escaping from it and wearing white socks and my oversized t-shirt that fell down to her knees, I couldn’t resist eyeing her up and down. I couldn’t stop myself that time, and I could not stop myself later, when she’d reach for a cereal box placed too high in the kitchen cabinets and the hem of the t-shirt would ride up, revealing another slice of her thighs, nor when she’d walk and the fabric swayed, teasingly revealing more. The sight was too tempting.

            I’d seen her in less clothing before, at the pool, at the beach. Hell, she’d even changed outfits in front of me once clad only in her underwear. Yet, there was something different about seeing her in my clothes. I knew the details—her hidden nipple piercing, the scar on her waist. Yes, she had also worn my t-shirt many other times, even when we lived together in the past. But this time it felt singular. With us being home alone (Jolly off at a friend’s house), there was an inherent intimacy in having Lia here like this. She was my responsibility. I had to look after her. And I couldn’t help but think that this was what I had been doing all my life and what I wanted to keep doing. 

            “I’m a mess,” she muttered, looking defeated.  

            “You’re not,” I reassured her with a half-smile, wiping my hands on the rag.

            With a sigh and a rub of her hand across her forehead, she hesitated a moment before speaking. 

            “Do you think you could take me to Mitch’s house?” 

            The question caught me off guard, making me look down at her with a frown between my brows. 

            “To retrieve the rest of my things”, she clarified. “I want to get it done. He should be at work now, and I still have a spare key.”

            “I’ll go,” I offered.  

            “No,” she insisted firmly, shaking her head. “I’m not letting you go alone.”

            “You said he’s at work.”

            “He should be, but I don’t want to take chances.”

            “And I don’t want to take chances with you,” I asserted, trying to make her see my concern. Her features softened at my words.

            “I’m not taking chances with you, either” she replied, giving me that determined girl’s look that said that she wouldn’t change her mind, no matter how hard I might try. 

            This time, I was the one who sighed. I nodded and told her to get ready; we would leave in the next twenty minutes. 

If Lia had seemed confident and determined when suggesting that we go to Mitch's house to pick up her things, that attitude faded and her confidence waned as we neared the residential area. I noticed her shrinking back in her seat, fingers fidgeting in her lap. 

            While I wouldn’t have minded going alone and spare her the discomfort, I also didn’t want to overstep boundaries with her. Plus, after a little bit of thought, perhaps this final visit could help her find closure, putting an end to that chapter of her life… 

            Mitch was a fucking bastard, and I didn't think my desire to beat him up would lessen any time soon. At least it was satisfying to arrive at his block and find his trashed car. The boys had done a pretty good job. Lia, however, said nothing, her eyes fixed on the vehicle, her mouth slightly agape. 

            After a few moments, she blinked and shook her head, stepping out of my car and gesturing for me to follow. 

            We stood in front of Mitch’s apartment door. Lia attempted to insert the key into the lock, but her hands were trembling. I took hold of her wrist, relieving her of the keys to open the door myself.        Before entering, I squeezed her shoulder and reminded her that if she felt overwhelmed at any point, she could wait in the car, or we could leave immediately.

            I felt a swell of pride witnessing how Lia composed herself, focusing on the task at hand. 

            The house appeared even worse than when I had pulled Lia out from that toxic environment. Dirty dishes were piling up high in the sink, empty beer bottles were strewn about, cupboards were left open, and dirty laundry was scattered around. The apartment exuded a musty odor, and my heart ached at the thought of Lia having spent so many days under such conditions.  

            Lia had brought a couple of suitcases with her, and I had retrieved and folded two empty cardboard boxes I had found in the garage from the last merchandising order. We filled them with what was left of her clothes. Lia didn’t say, but I sensed that she had been afraid she would find that Mitch had burned her clothes or done something like that. Luckily, Lia’s clothes that had been left there were still in place. She gathered up her things and even a couple of mugs that belonged to her that she found at the bottom of one of the cupboards in the kitchen. 

            I excused myself briefly to take the heavy boxes to the car. 

            When I returned, I was greeted by the sound of cups shattering. I rushed to the kitchen to find Lia smashing everything in sight, her face contorted in anger.  

            “Hey, hey. That’s enough,” I intervened, first attempting to quell her destructive frenzy by restraining her hands, then encircling her waist to guide her away from the chaos she made of the kitchen. Tears welled in her eyes as I managed to pause her rampage, standing together amidst the wreckage. “Lia, enough. Let’s go. There’s no need to cause any more damage. The apartment is already a mess,” I urged, my voice firm yet gentle. “You won’t get anything from doing this.”

            “I don’t care. I want to wreck his life like he wrecked mine,” she retorted with a fierce tone. 

            “Lia,” I gently cupped her chin, waiting until her tear-filled gaze met mine. “He’s lost you. He can’t get any more miserable than that. His life is already in shambles.”

            A few sobs threatened to escape her. She reminded me of a small child in need of a hug and safety, things that her own mother had neglected her from. 

            “Why do you always have the right things to say?” she whispered, her voice strained with emotion.

            I shrugged, offering a faint smile. “Maybe it’s some sort of autopilot mode that kicks in when I see my best friend hurting.”

            With that, she let her head fall against my chest. After a few moments, her breathing steadied, and she released her grip on my hoodie, stepping back.

            “I'll check if there’s anything left in the bathroom. Then, we can go,” she declared, sniffing and wiping her face with her hands. 

            I nodded, watching her retreat before turning my attention to the task of loading the suitcases into the trunk of my car, leaving the door of the house ajar behind me. As I arranged the boxes and bags like pieces of a puzzle, the morning sunlight bathed the quiet street, where a few cars passed by and pedestrians enjoyed leisurely walks, unaware of the what we were going through.

            I decided to tidy up the car’s interior while I waited for her, clearing dust off the seats and ensuring there was no overlooked clutter. Lost in my task, I didn’t expect the sudden piercing scream that echoed from inside the apartment, followed by Lia screaming my name. Within a second, I bolted back inside. 

            Lia was trapped at the far end of the hallway, overshadowed by a figure much larger than herself, leaving her with nowhere to go. 

            Even before his voice reached my ears, I knew it was him. I’d recognize that bastard anywhere now. My muscles tensed at the sight. 

            “You thought I wouldn’t catch you sneaking back in?” he was saying to Lia. “Lucky for you, I decided to take a few days off because my damn car is fucking trashed! I step out for twenty mintues to grab some beer, and look who waltzes back into the house!” Mitch’s voice filled the hallway with venom.

            “Get away from her, now,” I grunted through gritted teeth. 

            Mitch turned to face me, his expression showing no surprise, but his eyes widened as Lia took the opportunity to slip past him towards me. Mitch made a clumsy grab for her, but I was faster and swiftly moved to shield Lia behind me.  

            “Well, well, if it isn’t Prince Charming,” Mitch sneered, his face contorted with malice. “Not surprised to see you here, considering you couldn’t leave the bitch’s mind for a second during our entire relationship.”

            “Watch your mouth, I warn you,” I replied, my finger pointing towards him.  “God knows I’m dying to break your face for what you did to her.”

            “Yeah. Did you ever stop to think that maybe she deserved what she got?”

            “Don’t you even dare,” I muttered, raising a finger. My breathing was becoming ragged, and Lia’s hand clutching at the back of my hoodie wasn’t helping. She was nearly pressed against me, and I could feel her own heartbeat against my back. 

            “What? You really didn’t?” Mitch questioned, raising his chin. “Of course everything she got, she got it because of you! Because you were always somewhere in that little head of hers! Wasn’t he, Lia? I’m sure you even thought of him while I fucked y—!”

            I charged towards him, a surge of raw emotion flooding my senses, an amalgamation of anger, fear, and protectiveness that suddenly threatened to consume me. Lia’s tear-streaked face loomed large in my mind, her pain igniting a fire within me, driving me forward with a fervor I had never known. When I launched myself at Mitch, I did so by grabbing his shirt. propelling us forcefully towards the wall. 

            “You son of a bitch,” he shouted.  

            “You’re a despicable piece of trash,” I spat back. 

            “You’re no better than me, Noah!”

            “I don’t give a shit. You touch her, you answer to me!”

            And it was about time that he fucking answered.  

            The words dripped with a venomous promise as I launched myself at him again. Every fiber of my being screamed with the need to protect Lia and to give this piece of shit what he deserved. Mitch’s fist collided with my face, splitting my lip and sending a jolt of pain searing through my body. But in that moment, the pain took a backseat to an overwhelming need to unleash all my pent-up rage. I hit him back. The surge of ferocity was foreign to me, but I had no intention to contain it.  

            “She’s nothing more than a fragile little thing, always needing her dear best friend Noah. But you couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else having her, either. Could you, Noah?!” Mitch’s loud voice reverberated with malice.  

            “Shut up!” I shouted back. 

            “No! I want to know. Have you fucked her yet?!”

            With a primal roar, I lunged at Mitch, my fists flying in a flurry of punches aimed at his face. The force of our collision sent us crashing to the ground, the impact jarring my already split lip, while Mitch’s bruises and cuts began to ooze blood.

            Every blow I landed carried the weight of months of pent-up frustration and fear, fueled by the knowledge that Mitch had been terrorizing Lia for far too long and that he didn’t seem to stop. His abuse had not only left Lia bruised and broken; it had shattered her spirit. 

            But it was Lia’s own rage that fueled and ended the fight. With every blow exchanged, I could sense her anger boiling over as she screamed at Mitch to stop hitting me while we rolled on the floor. With one last scream, Lia launched herself at Mitch, driving her foot into his chest and then delivering a forceful kick to his side, causing him to clutch his stomach. When he stood up and staggered backwards into the hallway, expecting Lia to retreat, she advanced with determined steps, and with a swift strike to his knee, she brought him crashing to the ground again. 

            “Don’t you ever touch Noah again,” she seethed.  

            Mitch lay sprawled on the floor, bloodied, and defeated. She spit on the floor next to him, cementing her resolve to end that right there right then.   

            “You’re doomed, Lia. Hate me all you want,” he said, checking his nose with a hand and checking the blood dripping from one of the nostrils. 

            “I don’t hate you,” Lia stated. “You don’t even deserve that from me.”

            “Whatever. You’ll be miserable for the rest of your life,” he said, clutching his stomach as blood dripped from his face onto his t-shirt. His left eyebrow began to swell. My knuckles hurt from the hitting, but fuck him. “Now, get out of my fucking house!”

            Lia threw the house key at him before returning to my side, seeking reassurance in my eyes. She wrapped an arm around my waist and together we made our way toward the door, stepping out into the sunlight, holding onto each other. 

            Back home, the adrenaline of the fight still pulsed through my veins as if refusing to let go. Lia moved with a sense of urgency, her movements almost automatic as she hurried to gather a first aid kit from the bathroom and tend to the split on my lip. I watched her, feeling a mixture of gratitude and frustration swirling within me. Gratitude because she was fine; she wasn’t hurt. Frustration because I still couldn’t erase the past, no matter how hard I had hit Mitch. 

            His words still echoed in my head, accusing every bruise on Lia’s skin as my fault. Maybe he was right. Maybe I shouldn’t have demanded her company so insistently or failed to accept her relationship to another man like the fucking I adult I was. 

            But I didn’t. 

            And now I had a split lip and a best friend grappling with the aftermath of an abusive relationship. 

            For a moment, rage threatened to boil over, and when Lia insisted on cleaning the wound for the third time after my dismissals, I snapped sharply at her. My voice came out as a harsh scream, causing her to flinch. Instantly regretting my outburst, I reached out to her.

            “I’m sorry…” I sighed. “I’m just… I should’ve done more.”

            “No,” she cut me off. “You shouldn’t have.”

            “Yes, I should’ve—!”

            “None of it was your fault. It doesn’t matter what he said.”

            We locked eyes and stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. I didn’t even have to say it; Lia knew exactly what had been on my mind. 

            As I reached for her hand, gently stroking the back of it with my thumb, I asked her if she was hurt. She shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes, and I felt a pang of guilt. 

            Sitting on the sofa, I lifted my head towards her, silently offering myself to her care.

            Lia raised my head with her fingers, and with her other hand, she clutched a piece of cotton damped with alcohol. Regardless of the stinging sensation, Lia’s touch was tender and delicate when she disinfected the cut. Despite the violence that had erupted just a while ago, she was able to be so sweet to me. As she cleaned the wound, silent tears began to fall from her eyes, and my heart ached at the sight of her pain materializing.

            I reached out to pull her into a hug, but Lia pulled away, refusing my comfort. Instead, she headed straight to the kitchen, discarding the blood-stained cotton in the bin and then opening the fridge, from where she retrieved a beer with trembling hands. I watched her, my heart heavy with concern, as she took a long swig from the can.

            “Lia,” I called out, but she didn’t respond. “Lia,” I pressed. “Come here, please.”

            Reluctantly, she came back and took a seat next to me, can still in her hands. I didn’t take it from her, but I made my disapproval clear.

            “You know that’s not the solution.”

            “I’m aware,” she replied, pretending to show that she didn’t care. 

            “Have you thought about what we talked? Going back to therapy? You haven’t called her, your therapist, have you?” 

            “Not yet,” she admitted with defeat, her head low, her eyes away from me. 

            “Why don’t you give it a try? You can always stop it if it doesn’t help or if you don’t feel comfortable. You can always talk to me, but I’m afraid I won’t be enough.” 

            At those words, she lifted her head to meet my gaze, her eyes telling me that I was wrong about myself. But successfully, she agreed to give therapy a chance and call for an appointment. 

            She lay her head on my shoulder. 

            I sighed softly, knowing that healing would take time, that the scars left behind by Mitch’s abuse ran deep. But in that moment, all I could do was hold Lia close, offering her the safety provided by my company. 

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #bad omens fic #bad omens fanfic #noah sebastian x ofc #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfic #the inevitability of love at second sight

[prettyinpwn-blog]

Ford Pines: A Masterclass in Writing a Good Flawed Character

(Title disclaimer: his brother Stan is also fantastically written and deserves as much praise, but we’ll be focusing on Ford in this post).

It’s no secret that Ford is my favorite character in Gravity Falls. The reason why boils down to this: he is a perfect example of a character that is A. flawed, and B. goes through a character arc that addresses both his core want and need, and it successfully punishes him for seeking that want and rewards him for pursuing his need.

His flaws perfectly match his character want and backstory, and despite the fact that he does make mistakes, you understand exactly why Ford makes them. Not only that, you actually might root for him even though he’s not a flawless hero, because you understand the good intentions/character virtues and backstory driving his actions.

Lastly, his flaws are justified, but not excused by the writing, and he works to make up for them, which in my opinion is the key to creating a hero that is also realistic.

For those of you who read the above two paragraphs and are asking, “Wha...? Core want? Need? What do you mean?”, here’s a quick summary:

When I took writing classes in college (and over years of writing in general and drooling over writing advice podcasts and blogs), I found that the best method for me, personally, when it comes to crafting characters is to focus on two major things:

1. Their want.

2. Their need. On the surface, these look like the same things, but in character writing, they can be vastly different. For example, say that you have a character that greatly desires fame and recognition. They want these things.

But what’s the real reason behind it? Is it because they had a parent that was famous and want to live up to their example? Is it because they want to be adored by people? Is it because they were told they’d never amount to anything by someone and want to prove them wrong?

This real reason behind it all is the core need. Yes, they want fame and recognition, but they need it because, say, they have low self-esteem and need copious amounts of outside validation to boost it.

Tied to this need is usually a backstory reason (sometimes called their wound). Say your hypothetical character was bullied a lot as a child. Or abused by a parent. Etc. Whatever the wound was, it caused a big, painful hole in their heart that they try to fill and fix with their want.

So they go on a journey. The want is often the external journey. The need is often the core journey / character arc. Our example character seeks fame and recognition on an external journey, but deep inside, they realize they need something else, which is to understand that their past trauma/wound doesn’t define them, and fame and recognition will not be the balm they expect it will be. Often, they realize they had what they needed all along. They grow past their flaws associated with their seeking this want through understanding and instead pursuing the need.

Alright, Writing 101 lecture aside, Ford is a perfect example of a character that has all of the above. He has a want, a need, flaws related to pursuing his want, a backstory that justifies it but doesn’t forgive it completely, and a character arc that makes him realize he had that need all along, and he acknowledges his flaws and tries to grow past them. Let’s begin with some analysis to prove my point:

Ford’s Backstory: Protecting/Providing for Family > Everything Else

Ford was born in Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey, to a Jewish family in what is jokingly referred to as the “lead paint district”. His father owned a pawn shop, and his mother was a phone psychic in an era where not many women worked. Their social class is never strictly pointed out, but through context clues we can tell that they were not rich by any means.

Their small house was an addition atop their family shop and had mismatched furniture and peeling wallpaper; enough to keep a roof over their heads, but not enough to upkeep things for aesthetic/fashionable decor reasons. That, combined with a family conflict later that surrounds money that could have - as their father put it - “been their ticket outta this dump”, tells us quite plainly that Ford grew up poor, likely lower to lower middle class.

(I want to preface this next part about Filbrick, Ford’s father, with a note that yes, I personally consider what he did to Stan in A Tale of Two Stans abusive, but I will explain why he threw Stan out, or at least how he justified it from his perspective. Filbrick isn’t perfect, and no well-written character is. What he did makes total sense for his character, even if we as an audience don’t view it in a positive light.)

Ford’s father was a very strict, unemotional man. He provided for his family and worked hard, but he likely was the sort to have never told his children that he loved them verbally. Action > words to Filbrick, and everything he took issue with, were things he perceived as threats to his family. In the comic Lost Legends, released after the show ended, we see Filbrick take issue with Ford’s twin brother, Stan, who he accuses of stealing a gold chain from his pawn shop (and it turns out, Stan actually did, though purely for good reasons).

Filbrick gets upset with Stan because he’s protecting his family. He’s protecting his son from making the wrong decisions in life, because he wants what’s best for Stan. While it may hurt Stan to feel so picked on by his father compared to Ford, Ford explains why in this way:

(Also, can we talk about the symbolism in Stan looking at his reflection here? Throughout the series, we learn that Stan looking at his reflection = him thinking about his brother. Stan looking at his reflection while wondering if his father hates him? Translation: “Why does Pa love you and not me, Ford?” and/or “Why doesn’t my reflection match Ford, would my Pa love me if it did?” /cue heartbreak).

Anyways, it turns out, Filbrick was right. Not just about Stan - who later nearly ends the whole universe trying to get Ford back home - but also about Ford. Ford also takes shortcuts later on in life, namely with Bill, and they become his biggest regrets. But we’ll get to those later. All in all, both Filbrick, Stan, and Ford do things for benevolent reasons - usually for their family - but their flaws often come into play in the manner they try to achieve that.

Filbrick throwing Stan out is a great example. Stan’s breaking of Ford’s project was the breaking of Ford’s future as a millionaire, which would have lifted the Pines family out of poverty. Filbrick should have understood that his children are not tickets to wealth, talked it out with Stan and Ford to get Stan’s side of the story and helped them patch their relationship wound, and tried his best to help Ford find a different college to go to, but... instead, he throws out Stan, and tells him that until he makes millions, he’s not welcome back in the family. Ouch.

Like I said, I’m not justifying what Filbrick did in any way. That was straight up abusive. But Filbrick is a character where family security/stability > everything else, and so when Stan threatens that security/stability, it crosses the line for Filbrick. To him, Stan hurt him, their mother/wife, and his own twin brother, and Filbrick punished him for it.

But the irony is, is that in throwing Stan out, he was threatening the security/stability of his family, because Stan was his own son. Greek tragedy right there, folks. Often the things we do to avoid something, make us cause that thing to happen anyways, at least in stories. Sometimes it’s throwing your son out because there was a prophecy that he’d kill you and marry your wife/his mother, and later finding out he only could have done that if you’d thrown him out, so... oops? Other times, it’s trying to protect your family by throwing your son out, and yikes, you just hurt your family by throwing your son out, not just that son, but the happiness of both of your twin sons for decades to come.

Yes, I just compared Gravity Falls to Oedipus Rex minus the weird mother-son parts, deal with it.

Another factor is how they were treated as children. Ford was obviously the golden child. Stan was not.

I mean, literally, a golden child:

Heh, I see what you did there, writing team...

Anyways, a golden child is often described as, “held responsible for the family's success. Parents appreciate and adore them and, in a way, reinforces them to become better in whatever they are doing. A golden child is an example for others to follow. Even the siblings of the golden child are compared with them to create continuous pressure on their performance; to ensure that they shouldn't fail or fall short in their good behavior and accomplishments."

And also, “Their main purpose in life is to satisfy their parents' needs and procure success, name, and fame for their family from outsiders. Parents consider [them] an asset to the family and always make them appear superior in front of others.” (Source).

Often, you can tell a golden child by:

-An overwhelming need to please / a people pleaser. Notice how when his principal tells him about West Coast Tech, Ford only gets especially excited when he hears about how it might make him a millionaire, and when his father says he’s impressed. Once again, to Ford: providing/protecting for family and approval from his father > everything else.

-Required to grow up faster or contribute to the household at a younger age than siblings. “Your brother was gonna be our ticket outta this dump!”.

-Super high achieving, especially with grades.

-Fear of failure. His rejection from West Coast Tech he considered a massive failure, even though A. it wasn’t his fault, and B. he did just fine at the university he went to instead.

-Attachment to those that praise them / low self-esteem / a need for excessive validation from relationships AKA the exact flaw that Bill took advantage of to manipulate Ford.

-Sensitive to criticism. In Journal 3, when the Tarot reader tells him his flaws, and Fiddleford asks him to maybe reconsider finishing the portal, Ford gets angry. Whenever people make fun of his hands, he hides them.

So, getting back to the character writing lesson I explained above, how does this lead to Ford’s core want and need? Alright, friends, let’s summarize Ford with a few sentences:

“I want to find where I am accepted/loved and I want to protect those I care about, but what I need is to realize I had that acceptance all along, and often times the things I did to protect those I care about, I actually instead hurt them. This stems from a wound from my childhood where I was a golden child placed under high pressure to succeed, and simultaneously was outcast for my six fingers.”

And as I said, Ford had his need all along. Stan always accepts him from Day 1. Fiddleford McGucket also accepts him in the events of Journal 3. When these relationships break for Ford, is when an event happens that threatens his core want: to be accepted. But on a superficial level, when he’s rejected or criticized, an especially sensitive matter for Ford, someone who has been outcast for his hands and treated as a perfect golden child his entire life.

He has acceptance from both these characters, but the moment he gets rejected from West Coast Tech, and the moment Fiddleford criticizes his portal project... we see Ford at his worst. Both Stan and Fiddleford accepted Ford despite his flaws, but when reminded he wasn’t perfect... all hell breaks loose internally for his character. He says nothing to defend Stan when he gets kicked out, and he gets upset at Fiddleford and risks his health and the universe to finish the portal project. Because for Ford, not being perfect means he is failing to be that golden child.

Cue Ford’s Dark Night of the Soul, or the biggest mistake he makes and he tells Dipper later on was his biggest regret: trusting Bill Cipher. Someone who told him he was perfect, fed his ego and insecurity like cheese in a mouse trap, then snapped the lever when Ford realized he was being used and lied to. When Ford realized that his fears were true: he was not perfect, and in trying to attain perfection, his flaws were only made that much clearer.

He had made a giant mistake trying to attain the one thing he had all along, but feared he never would get, so traded real acceptance that acknowledged his flaws for false acceptance that told him he was the perfect golden child he’d been trained to be.

This is why Ford is a well-written character. He has flaws and suffers for them until he makes up for his mistakes. They are understandable flaws, but like in real life, just because it’s understandable why we act poorly at times - be it because of trauma or upbringing - it doesn’t mean we’re justified in continuing to hurt others or ourselves because of those flaws. We must acknowledge them, grow past them, and do our best to do better in the future, as well as apologize to those we hurt along the way.

This is also what separates Ford from his father. His father - as far as was shown in canon - never tried to make up for his mistakes. Ford does. This is why Ford is a hero and Filbrick is not, despite Filbrick thinking from his POV that he had good intentions for what he did. Additionally, Ford is also an example of breaking generational trauma because of this.

How it Plays Out

So Ford is deeply flawed, realizes those flaws almost got himself and the universe destroyed, and what’s the first thing he does? Whine? Complain? No, this vengeful, nerdy BAMF goes on a thirty year redemption arc to stop Bill, knowing that he could spend the time getting home, but instead choosing to use that time to redeem himself at the expense of his own life and freedom.

See? That’s the thing. While Ford is flawed at times for acting out what his father taught him to be, he also has virtues we can root for him for based on these same teachings.

He’s protective of his family at the expense of himself:

He’s protective of the universe at the expense of himself:

He doesn’t hide from his mistakes, he tries to confront them head on:

He often isolates himself to be a lone hero shielding against danger AKA “Dipper, you shouldn’t be down here because my work is far too dangerous for a living soul to spend even one second down here!”, whereas... like, Ford, you’re a living, human soul, too. Doesn’t your safety and the chance to receive familial love you’ve missed out on for three decades matter? Think about how long he must have ached to see his family and home again? And his first inclination isn’t to bask in that love and warmth, it’s to act as Cerberus guarding the gates of the underworld, all alone. Because to Ford, that’s his purpose: to protect and prop up his world like Atlas, all alone:

“You risked the universe for worthless old me? Why would you do that, Stanley?” AKA “I’m the sacrificial golden child meant to prop up our family and further mankind through science, why didn’t you let me sacrifice myself and bear this burden all alone, you idiot?” *CUE RIGHT HOOK*

“Oh, there are children down here? Let me put away my thirty-years-festering gripe with my brother for a second to protect their comfort and stable environment with maturity because I am an adult. Also, let me kneel to their eye level and praise them for their weirdness.”:

“Oh, my brother is cheating off of me in class?” *Smiles.*:

“My brother gets called the dumb one who will never amount to anything?” *Frowns and looks guilty.*:

“There is a mere suggestion that Stan and I should hug and I’m the one who looks back to see if Stan will go for it?”:

“Stan, you broke my trust and chance to provide for our family years ago, but I’m now giving you another chance to earn my trust again by asking you to do the most important thing I’ve ever asked anyone to do while I stay by this portal and likely get turned into a demon snack and/or get mentally tortured here alone.”:

“Hey bro, I know you just broke my trust a second time by threatening to burn this book, and I just burned you, but I trust you still to save me and/or at least still take the book far away so that Bill is stopped even though it might sacrifice me.”

“I am shameless in my love of nerdy things, and don’t tease my nephew for them, either. I make him feel accepted and like he belongs, because I know what it feels like to be outcast.”

“I invent things for my family as soon as they need something, and go above and beyond what is necessary for it.”

“I was a big old dumby dumb and trusted Bill, and you were, too, Dipper, but we can still defeat Bill. Also here, Dipper, I got you a soda.”

“Mabel, you did that family protection thing that has been my core drive and/or wound my entire life, I will entirely ignore the wealth you just heaped in front of me and appreciate only the unicorn hair that will protect said family, you’re a good person.”

“I am the world’s nerdiest, most badass old man.” Okay, this doesn’t really stem from a flaw, but it needs to be said...

“Dipper, wouldn’t you also like to use your smarts to improve humanity selflessly and have the reason you’re an outcast become your strength, too?” also the way he dorkily poses in front of this like Ford you ain’t Alexander the Great or Luke Skywalker calm down you chicken nugget

“Fiddleford, I’m the reason you live in a dump and married a raccoon. I was a stubborn, self-centered, insecure owl shit and I am sorry.”

But all these good things go out the window when Ford’s central flaw comes screaming back:

“Hey Stan, I am the golden child, you must be perfect like me, I am very smart, you are not, and you are not like me, you know that one thing our father always faulted you for and you spent decades trying to make up for even though you shouldn’t have had to, because grammar, Stanley.”

But then his redemption comes in this single, heartbreaking shot (’scuse the pun):

“Stanley, I know all our life that father wanted you to be like me and not yourself. How fitting that my character arc redemption comes when you are dressed like me and I have to erase you, Stanley Pines, and I can’t even look as I take away who you are because who you are has value, even if you’re not me like father said.” AKA “I want you to be Stanley and not just my reflection.”.

And:

“I had somewhere I belonged. Somewhere where I was accepted and not outcast. Somewhere where someone appreciates me but doesn’t put pressure on me to be perfect or because they just want something from me. Someone who wanted us to sail around the world finding the supernatural and having fun because he promised it to me all those years ago, right after I complained that I just wanted somewhere where I fit in. Stan was where I fit in, and after decades of pushing him away, I realized that. I had my need - acceptance and protecting my family and familial love - all along. And because I often hurt Stan Greek tragedy style in my quest to find those things, I now will make it up to him as a thanks for being the one who never used or outcast me, no matter what.”

TL;DR: Ford wanted love and acceptance, but he needed to learn to stop rejecting that love and acceptance that people like Stan gave him from the get go. Also, daddy issues, I guess.

In Conclusion

So, is Ford an egotistical, insecure assbrain sometimes? Yes. Does he treat people like garbage at times? Yes. Does he treat himself like a tool to be used and is he self-sacrificial to a fault at times? Yes. Does he let himself get used like a tool for the sake of praise and ego-feeding? Yes.

Is Bill Cipher tricking him like that a metaphor for how his father treated him because “Ford I will praise you as long as you are useful to me” type sentiments? You decide.

But we understand why he does what he does because of his backstory. We know why he has these flaws: his upbringing.

What elevates his writing even more, though, is A. the writers were not afraid to show these flaws in all their grisly light, B. even though they justify his flaws, they never excuse them. Ford suffers for the above qualities. Those he cares about suffer for them, too. And there’s no easy path for him to fix them.

Like people in real life, it takes him decades to identify and solve these flaws from childhood issues and apologize to those he hurt. But he does it because he is a good person. A flawed, but good person at heart, who will do everything he can to make up for his mistakes and protect his family. Just like Stan.

Perfectly written character. 100%. Fantastic job, GF team.

#gravity falls #stanford pines #gravity falls analysis

[limelyrics]

Double/ダブル

Ah,

Let me take the wheel for a while, I’ve got your back

Another day, another smile that I can tell is really only on the surface

(Woah)

As you keep it all at bay

(Woah)

As you work the day away

“No, I’ve gotta do more…”

Are you kidding? That’s enough

You’ll just break under all of the stress

(Woah)

This new identity

(Woah)

I will stand up for Me

You didn’t want this, but you can’t just get rid of me now

Just the two of us with a singular vow

I’ll protect us both somehow

All I ever did was have a dream

Is that why you all called me guilty?

You told me I was lying, why cling to thoughts that I’m a villain

Why then?

Hey, don’t you see I saved you from yourself?

So why then are you crying out for help?

Hold onto me and praise me

Raise me up as your true savior

Transfer the pain to me

Another day, another smile that I can tell is really only on the surface

(Woah)

You’re overdoing it

(Woah)

You have already split

If you persist, then I guess it’s my job to make sure that all your trauma is being addressed

(Woah)

I’ll keep the even keel

(Woah)

I’ll take it on and deal

“Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah… Well, some days are… tough, but I’m doing alright. So don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll be sure to come home next time I get some time off.”

I don’t quite understand

Why I’m here and the problem at hand

You told me I was lying, why cling to thoughts that I’m a villain

Why then?

All I ever did was have a dream

Then I’m innocent or so it seems

I’ve always been honest, promise!

You’ll see that I’m a good man, shaken

I only ever wanted to help you

So why’d it come to this? We’re really screwed!

Hold onto me and praise me

Raise me up as your true savior

Transfer all the pain to me

(Can’t recall a thing)

Can’t be helped, you’re seeing double

(MeMe’s struggling)

I tried so hard to fend off the trouble

(Why then? Why then?)

If I were never born then this would all be easy

(Why then? Why then?)

I’m so sorry

#translyrics #vocaloid #lime's translyrics #vocaloid song #hatsune miku #miku hatsune #miku #deco*27 #milgram #mikoto kayano #kayano mikoto #milgram project

[icannot3]

Hi!

Please can you do a drabble for Kyle Spencer along the prompts "I didn't know where else to go" + "You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?"

Thank you

"His Sanction"

(Kyle Spencer x reader)

I LOVED THIS!!! Thank you, it's just what I needed, Anon!!! It feels so good to finally write something again oml.

Word count: 600

Warning: There's mentioning of Kyle's mother and an overall theme of his trauma relating to her, although it is not directly said.

.............

An exasperated cry threatens to spill from Kyle's lips. His body shudders with overbrewed anxiety, and he finds himself unable to regulate the feelings inside of him. It's not often that he experiences panic attacks, but this rarity is still unavoidable. Despite the fact that at one point in time, things were much worse and that he had drastically improved over the past few months through countless hours of counseling; Kyle still criticizes himself for getting to this point. After over a year of no contact, he'd seen his mother in public. Flashes of memories he'd buried deep down suddenly rose mercilessly to the surface. His mind immediately switched into a stress-induced autopilot setting. He needed something to ground him, to go somewhere he could feel safe.

Without any hesitation, he found himself knocking at your door.

Your heart drops at the sight of his puffy, bloodshot eyes. Immediately, you invite him in from the bitter cold outside. Without a word, he sits down on the couch. You can't help but notice how stiff he appears to be. His arms are crossed tightly together as he leans forward against his legs, unable to comfortably sprawl out across the sofa like he normally would. He's sniffling, and his breathing is unstable.

There's a few minutes of silence. You aren't sure how to address it, so you allow him the space he needs and wait for him to initiate a conversation. Instead, you quietly sit down on the other side of the sofa, giving him your undivided attention.

"I didn't know where else to go." Kyle's voice has lost its typical confident flare. He croaks out the words as if they are painful to speak.

You're immensely concerned for his well-being. You wonder what possibly could have happened to make someone as cheery as your boyfriend this distraught. "I'm glad you came here." You try to keep your tone as soothing as possible. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Kyle seems to finally self-soothe on some level. He grounds himself by running a hand through his hair and letting out a deep breath. His eyes refuse to meet your own. He's ashamed. He feels so weak, pathetic, and especially guilty for making you deal with his baggage.

You scooch closer to him, resting your hand on his knee. He jumps at the contact, which startles you; but he rests his own palm against it, allowing you to keep it there. "You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?"

With his free hand, he wipes the remaining tears off of his cheeks. He gives you a quick squeeze in an attempt to show you he's alright.

Your presence gives him a sense of comfort he never once found in therapy. Your skin feels cool against his searing hot face as you trace your thumb over his cheekbone. Kyle basks in it, allowing you to give him the comfort and support he's always needed. Without a doubt in his mind, he knows that your promise of being there is sincere. When he tells you he doesn't want to talk about it, you're immediately looking for something to distract him. He finds it especially considerate when you start playing one of his favorite albums that you remember him telling you about weeks prior. Your body swings to the music completely uncoordinated, which makes him laugh.

Kyle knows that you will always be his sanction and that one day, he'll become comfortable enough to share his story with you.

#kyle spencer x reader #evan peters #frat kyle #ahs #fluff #american horror story #angst #kyle spencer

[letarasstuff]

"Your voice is so annoying, Spector"

(A/N): After noticing the lack of platonic fics for Moon Knight and the characters, I decided to write one of my own. I hope it's alright, I tried to stay close to what I have read and researched about DID, if there is just the bit of misrepresentation, I apologize and am ready to change any bit right away

It's a female reader!

Summary: Reader, who is a relative to Marc, is confusingly snappy towards everyone. How long takes it for them to realize, that the teenager is actually on her period? (Spoiler: Neither Marc nor Steven are able to figure it out, my two lovely dumbasses)

Warnings: Mentions of periods, cramps, reader's father has a name and is a petty criminal, but this are the only things I specified, tooth rotting fluff balancing some slight slight slight angst out, Steven and Marc being adorably dumb, cutest Layla stuff of all time

Wordcount: 2.4k

✨Masterlist✨

_________________________

Marc, Steven and the third party they still need to get acquainted with, feel like they get their days under control ever since they started working together. Switches happen more voluntarily, the communication in the system is somewhat organized and they slowly work through the trauma they endured. Layla stays at their side through all of it, never losing the love for her husband. Maybe even finding new love with the others, but this is something that needs to be addressed at a later point. Why?

At the moment their lives are more chaotic than originally anticipated. Marc’s cousin, a man he only trusts as far as he is able to throw him without the suit on, contacted him a few weeks ago, asking for a big favor.

See, Marc doesn’t trust him without a reason. It’s just an open secret in the family that he is a textbook petty criminal, everybody just chooses to ignore it when they cross paths with him at family gatherings.

“Marc, my friend, I wouldn’t ask you this if it wasn’t necessary. But I can’t do it on my own at the moment. I swear, this arrangement isn’t a long term thing, one month tops. I just need time to sort some things out and everything goes back to normal and we can pretend that this never happened.” Exasperated, he sighs and throws a glance to Layla, who shrugs with her shoulders. It’s something between Marc and Joe.

He looks back at his cousin, who makes a pleading face. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he comes up with a decision. They are family after all. “Yeah, alright. Just let us clear some space in our apartment and you can come by tomorrow with her. But this better be a short term solution, Joe.”

This conversation happened three months ago. Ever since, his cousin's daughter, (Y/N), lives with him, Layla and Steven together. Marc has the sneaking suspicion that this situation will stay even longer like that.

See, it’s not that (Y/N) is a bad kid, it’s quite the contrary, really. For a 14 year old teenager she is the most behaved and best mannered person he came across with. It’s just with him being Konshu’s and Layla being Tawaret’s avatar, they practically drew a red cross on her back and made her a target for any of their enemies.

“Mate, we can’t let her go home.” The timid man tells him as he fed Gus. Through the reflection of the aquarium, he looks at Marc with supplient eyes. “You know as well as I, that Joe is a bloke. Sending her back at some point will be the wrong thing. Joe is crooked and dumb, a dumb criminal, who probably gives his real address to other criminals. (Y/N) would be in more danger with him than here with us.”

One night he talked to Steven about it.

While watching the flakes of fish food sink to the bottom of the aquarium, Marc mulls over the arguments Steven presented. “Do you think Joe had more reasons to trust her with us than simply being a new single father after the break up with her mother?” At that, Steven bites his lips. Of course he had thought about that. The possibility of more being behind this whole ordeal than an overwhelmed father already crossed his mind several times.

“I do. That’s why she needs to stay.” His voice is firm, validating Marc in their decision.

Just a few days after their conversation, Steven asks Layla to talk about that topic.

“Luv,” She smiles at his accent and lovely tone. “Yes, my dear?” Steven looks a bit disturbed at her attempt of an English accent, but continues his quest nevertheless.

“Marc and I talked about something a while ago and we wanted to know your opinion on that matter,” he nervously wrings his hands while getting out the words. Layla spins her desk chair towards him, indicating that her attention is on him. For self assurance Steven nods to himself before forming his next sentence. “We thought about asking (Y/N) to move in with us permanently. She would be safer here and especially teenagers need a constant in their life, you know while going through puberty, where everything changes, and it’s clear that the uncertainty of not knowing when Joe asks her to move back in with him is gnawing on her. We can give her the home she needs, but we don’t want to do anything without you on board and- bullocks. I’m rambling again, innit?”

With a smile, Layla nods. “You did, but I get your point. Actually, I thought about this for some time now too and came to the same decision as you. We can make this work right? Being the guardians to a teenager?” He gives her a hopeful nod, plunging into an explanation on why and how they’ll manage it.

The only thing they need to do is ask (Y/N), a task they decide Marc has the pleasure to do. After all, he is the one related to her. He already has a whole speech prepared, ready to fire it off the next day when he sees her in the kitchen. She stands patiently next to the kettle, waiting for it to get done with its job.

“Hey, (Y/N), there is something I want to talk about with you. Do you have a minute or two?” Marc asks after awkwardly clearing his throat. Without looking up from her intense stare on the kettle, she answers him with a tense “Make it quick”.

Her reaction takes him aback, not expecting this kind of a tone. Moved by it, Steven takes front and starts talking with a soft voice. “You alright, love? Is there something wrong?” The glance she throws into his direction could kill. “No, but thank you for crashing the conversation I had with Marc.” Scared by her cold demeanor, Steven leaves the front and Marc jumps back in.

“I’m sorry for that, I just want to ask you something. Maybe we want to sit down for it?” Annoyed, (Y/N) rolls her eyes, though she takes a seat at the dinner table. “So, as you know, you live with us for quite some time now, not that this is a bad thing. It’s not bad at all. On the contrary, Layla, Steven and I are happy to have you here. In fact, we feel like you live here for-”

Once again, the teenager sighs, effectively cutting Marc off. “I told you to make it quick. God, your voice can be so annoying. What’s even your deal, Spector?” She gets up from her seat and pours the water from the kettle into a hot water bottle. In his surprise by her sudden outburst, Marc completely oversees the fact that she doubles over slightly.

At his silence, (Y/N) continues her word attack. “What happened to the great Marc Spector? Cat got your tongue?” She sees another switch happen, assuming it’s going to be Steven, she leaves the kitchen. The smash of a closing door is heard, indicating that she is back in her room.

The man shudders, the switch being not super fluid or peasant feeling, and looks around with frantic eyes, as if he is trying to locate something. “Where is the- danger? Just the little girl..” He mumbles under his breath. “I’m here because you are scared of the girl?!” Annoyed, he gives the front back to Marc, letting himself melt back into the inner world.

As confused as he is about the last few seconds he is apparently missing, his priority is more with his teenager than the other situation. Knocking at the door, he is asking for entrance.

No way mate, she is bloody mad at us. We can be happy if she isn’t beheading us, Steven tries to consult him. He is the more empathic one, knowing when a situation needs to be left alone in order to be solved. But Marc isn’t having any of this. He wants to get to the root of this, and that rather yesterday.

“Go away!” His request is answered with another shout. “Come on, Bean. Let us talk.” Marc’s patient is wearing thin. He just wants to ask her to stay with them permanently, what is so difficult about that?

“NO! You are not my dad!” “I might as well be, so please let me in and talk about all of this!” A hand on his shoulder startles him. Layla has come back from grocery shopping, finding her husband in an argument, where he is definitely losing.

She meets his desperate look with a light headshake. “Don’t” she tells him softly, knowing exactly that he is about to say more. Digging himself a deeper grave than necessary. Yeah, this pretty much sums Marc Spector up.

“Give her some space. Then let me talk to her. You know, when a woman thinks men are stupid, a man can’t fix that problem. Take a walk and let me solve it”, she gives him a small smile, tucking some of his looks out of his face. Marc leans into her touch, before letting Steven take front. “Thank you, darling. I tried to get him to leave her alone for some time now. He is a stubborn one, isn’t he?”

For a few seconds Steven lingers, savoring her touch. Then he announces to get started on his “mean beans and chips”. Between the two, Steven is usually the one who cooks. When Layla isn’t available and Marc fronting, it’s more the frozen pizza or “sammiches” in good old Chicago style kind of diet for him and (Y/N).

“(Y/N),” Layla softly calls for her after knocking, “May I come in?” A sniffle followed by a small “You may” is heard.

Upon opening the door, she finds their entrusted teenager curled in a ball crying on her bed. Layla is immediately by her side, putting her head in her lap and runs her hand over her hair in a soothing manner. “Oh Honey, what happened? Do I need to hurt Marc? Did he make you cry? I’m ready to skin him for you.” But all the more or less light hearted threats are not able to lessen her cries.

“D-do you think Gus feels lonely when I’m at s-school and you two are out. I mean, I wou-would be.” Sobs break through (Y/N)’s sentences. “Oh Honey, I don’t think he is lonely. But we can get him a friend. I’m sure Steven will be over the moon. You can name his friend, if you’d like.” Layla pulls her into a hug, rocking both of them forth and back until the sobs are dying down.

The teenager wipes her tears away, attempting to give Layla a smile. “Can we call the other fish Augusta? Gusta for short maybe?” “Of course, we set this on tomorrow’s to-do-list, maybe we even find some new cool decorations and plants for the aquarium.” (Y/N) nods, feeling a bit better already.

“I didn’t want to scream at Marc and Steven. I just- It’s- I got really bad cramps and I only wanted to get back under my blanket and die,” she tries to explain her actions. Layla pulls her close again. “Oh Honey, they’ll understand, I gave them both the period talk already. There is nothing to be ashamed or scared of. It’s natural, as dumb and unnerving this may sound.” She tells her softly. The kind spoken words move (Y/N) to the kitchen, giving her a boost of confidence to face the men she wronged.

“Steven?” He looks up from the pot of beans and spots a shy (Y/N), who nervously plays with the sleeves of her shirt, standing at the door frame. “Yes my luv?” She takes a deep breath, setting her eyes on the pot on the stove. “I apologize for how I talked to you earlier. I didn’t want to be mean, even though I know I was. It’s not a good reason, but I just got my period and the cramps were bad earlier and it all was just so frustrating that, that-” “That you needed to take it all out and I was the closest punching bag, wasn’t I?” He asks her with an understanding smile. At that, she releases a breath she held, scared of his reaction.

“Yes, I guess. I’m sorry for that, I need to work on regulating my emotions.” Unexpectedly Steven engulfs her in a hug, pulling her impossibly close to himself. “No need to work on these emotions, luv. You have every right to be pissed, and if it’s me, who is the closest, I’m gladly your scapegoat,” He reassures her. (Y/N) grips the back of his shirt tight, relishing the embrace.

“Did Marc hear that?” As an answer she feels how the grip on her changes, nearly clasping at her. “I did, Bean.” She nods into his shirt, taking another deep breath. “I’m sorry, your voice isn’t annoying. It isn’t at all annoying, it can be really calming. But I just was so mad at everyone and the world. This whole situation- it’s just wearing me down. The unknown- I really hate that.”

Marc understands right away what situation (Y/N) is implying. “Oh right, this is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Steven, Layla and I wanted to ask you to move in with us permanently. Of course, the decision is all yours, but we would be really happy if you say-” “Yes! Yes, I wanna stay with you.”

A whole lot of crying and hugging ensues and somehow (Y/N) finds herself in the middle of a group hug between Layla and Marc.

Which eventually has to be broken up, because Steven’s cooking alarms the smoke detector, ending in a chaotic mess of trying to get the smoke out of the kitchen, switching off the alarm and somewhat saving the pot.

Not long after this the three of them sit on the couch, a pizza carton in each of their laps, watching some stupid and inaccurate documentary about the Egyptian Gods. And the world is ok for a little bit.

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