#like fuck let me express my emotions properly

[honeygrahambitch]

One for sorrow, two for joy

Plot: Will and Hannibal are having a difficult but very needed conversation the day before the birth of their surrogate child.

"Hello." Will said as he sat next to Hannibal on the porch of their house. The sun was casting its final rays before completely hiding before the mountains. "Just so you know, we are not the worst parents on earth because we don't have a name for our kid. I've read many stories where parents just knew exactly when they saw their baby for the first time. And that will be our case as well."

Hannibal had been out there sitting on his own for most of the day, which was exactly why Will had decided to join him with two glasses of white wine. Hannibal accepted his in silence. He didn't say anything to Will's encouraging words.

Will looked properly at his face only when he heard a sniff followed by a deep sigh, filled with sorrow.

He freaked out for a split second, seeing the tears run down his cheeks, knowing it was a rare sight.

"Do you know when we will be the worst parents?" Will asked, guiding Hannibal's head to rest on his shoulder. "When we won't like her first boyfriend. Or her second. Or third. Fuck it, none of them will be good enough. Or when we will say "no" when she will want to go to a promiscuous party. But I promise that when we meet her tomorrow, we will just know exactly what to call her."

Hannibal let out another sniff and Will could actually feel his tears on his shirt. "I thought I knew what name would be perfect for her." He said eventually.

"And I told you I'm down with calling her Mischa if that's what you feel." He replied softly as he let his own head rest on Hannibal's.

"After doing some self-reflection, I realized I don't want that for her. She shouldn't carry my regrets." He said, his gaze following a magpie trying to build a nest in the pine tree which was shading their house. "Every time I would look at her, I would think of my sister." Hannibal said as he let out a soft sob. "I want her to be her own person, not to grow up in the shade of someone else who already carries so much weight."

"What else is on your mind?" Will asked empathetically after a few seconds.

"During the last years I knew that if we had a daughter I would definitely name her Mischa. I figured I would do that only to give myself the delusion of having her next to me again." Hannibal said. "Or maybe I need some sort of closure that I won't get. Truth is, I need to let her go. It's been too long."

"You know, you don't have to let her go. She is not here but she is still your sister. And she will always be. You don't need a physical reminder to get your closure. And we will make sure our daughter knows about her."

Hannibal let out another sob as he buried his face in Will's shoulder.

"There are days when I feel haunted by my own regrets." Hannibal whispered. Will knew. He had learnt to read his every expression and gesture in time.

"I also feel haunted oftentimes. But then you say something stupid like "Will, have you missplaced the corkskrew again?" And all my ghosts are gone."

Hannibal laughed bitterly for the first time that evening.

"I'm sorry, your own nerves must be wrecked as well because of tomorrow." Hannibal said as he lifted his head off Will's shoulder and wiped his tears.

"Pretty wrecked. But seeing my husband weeping tears on the porch is a rare sight. Poetic in fact."

"I'm envious of you." Hannibal said, finally taking a sip from his glass. "You're managing your emotions better than I do."

"Am I? I woke up at 5 and took apart the washing machine piece by piece because yesterday it made a subtle but weird sound. By noon it was in one piece again. Then I reorganized my lures. Then I reorganized all your spices."

"Pardon?" Hannibal asked as he suddenly turned his head towards Will.

"I was surprised you haven't noticed me spending an unusual amount of time in the kitchen, sitting on the counter and labeling spices. Some of them I had no idea what they were so I drew a question mark instead."

"I..." Hannibal started but didn't know what to say, amused by Will's coping methods. "You didn't touch my suits, did you?"

"No, I am not a psychopath. I did want to organize your ties based on warm and color tones. But I decided I wanted to be alive by tomorrow."

Will clinked his glass against Hannibal's and this time, he was the one to rest his head on his shoulder.

"And we are supposed to raise a child." Hannibal said as a conclusion. "Sorry I avoided you the whole day. I was completely unaware you took the whole house apart. You must have had a lot on your mind."

"It's not like you were doing better. But this" Will said gesturing to where they were sitting"-is a lot better than labeling your spices."

"I agree."

The sun was completely gone, a purple shade coloring the horizon. The lonely magpie was soon joined by a second one, who was carrying some straws as well, probably helping with the nest.

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series #hannibal fanfiction

[dxmnsvoid]

that feeling when you need to purr/growl and its at the top of your throat threatening to spill out but youre in a situation/place where nonhuman sounds would not be appropriate so you just have to uncomfortably swallow them down 🥲

#for me its mostly purring/growling but this could be about any nonhuman sounds #like fuck let me express my emotions properly #theres just no human sound that would appropriately express the same thing i am feeling right now as a nonhuman sound is able to #void.mine #void.txt #void.nonhuman #otherkin #otherkin community #nonhuman #nonhuman community #alterhuman #alterhuman community #therian #therian community #demonkin #cryptidkin #creaturekin #catkin #monsterkin #darkkin #nightfurykin #cat therian #dragonkin #species dysphoria

[gunstellations]

"お前は失ってばかりじゃねえ"

"you haven't only received loss"

#who wouldve guessed more 07 ghost art.... #almost done with the anime now but ep 20 ish took me OUT my heart is bursting #copying the text i wrote for ig here: #i was initially going to just use the english as a caption but it really doesnt get the emotion across properly. #spent a good fifteen minutes rephrasing thr words as accurately to the original quote as possible while maintaining the intention. #affirming that he's gained so much (cherished people and experiences) along his path despite all his heartbreaking losses. #done #YEAH I KNOW frau didnt actually do this this is just my own self indulging... makes me giddy when he gets all serious and intimate #like that expression he does. im down bad for this piece of hot garbage #going off on a tangent here but hes so fucking childish sometimes when he goes to pick teito up from his exam #this idiot took the time to arrange himself leaning leisurely against the wall and having a smoke just so he could be like oh hey #i wasnt waiting or anything im just free and rebellious and i smoke bc im cool....get real idiot #i dont have any more 07ghost art atm so lets see if the remaining eps inspire me #or the manga at the rate the anime seems to be ending :') #07 ghost #my art

[waywardsalt]

ive spent like 20 minutes trying to world this eloquently but i give up; im a big fan of linebeck just. not being capable of watching over kids not the person to be the guardian of a group of young people he struggles to take care of himself at times and has so much shit going on that it takes about one conversation with oshus for the old man to realize that this guy is. not doing great

#this was gonna be like. a jokey post at first juxtaposing oshus’ expectations vs reality with linebeck but im too emotionally drained #so real linebeck talk in the tags bc idk if ive actually talked much abt like. the specific as on why. iwrite and see him the way i do #likr. off the bat i put him at like 19 in ph and im too fucking tired and just. done rn to justify that like whatever kill me if you wish. #like. hes. been throught a lit hes been abused neglected used ignored hurt ridiculed violated deceived hes so fucking tired #hes worn down over the course of ph it causes him to finally like. express his anguish over what hes been theough its cathartic #hes getting pushed but talking to oshus and being around link loosens him up and he fucking. cries properly yknow #he cries about everything and the last bit of ph hes kind of an emotional wreck but hes finally letting himself feel all that shit #he cries he struggles to articulate himself he has a violent public meltdown as he becomes fed up with his reputation #and it all culminates in bellumbeck just. being a really raw examination of what hes been through and how he feels and what to do now #he hates people he has people he wants to kill people he wanted to kill but after bellumbeck its just. hes tired. hes processed everythjng #and then he needs the post ph crew and everyone they meet along the way to just. be a fucking support system for the first time ever #like post ph hes rhe captain he runs the ship he keeps everyone in line he can do that. but hes softer more vulnerable more self doubting #hes kinder and more hesitant but trying new things and being more openly passionate abt his interests #and he keeps working through his trauma he finds out what else it causes problems for and everyone. supports him #hes not capable of like. being any kind of parental figure to link in ph his perspective on like. how to handle kids is fucked #because his perspective on what a normal childhood should look like is kind of a mess #his perspective on relationships is murky on love on adventure on self expression but post ph hes just. free. tired but free #he manages to take naps the group helps him eat properly he learns his physical boundaries and actually does what he loves #idk. im just. man idk. its still measy but like. my version of linebeck is. i really hate the idea that its so out of character its not him #like. idfk what to even say abt that. idfk what ‘in character’ looks like when you hc a character to be masking in canon #when you hc them to be lying and covering things up and just. subdued bc theyre working on stuff #that they lie and exaggerate their own traits on purpose but let the truth through some cracks like what rhe fuck then #i hate it bc i dont see anyone else think of linebeck anything like this so im scared im fucking wrong somehow #im tired. i recently learned that one of my cats has been burrowing under and chilling under a blanket we cover a couch with #its very cute

[theonottwife]

theodore nott x hufflepuff reader

summary: in which cormac mclaggen hurts theo’s precious girlfriend

warnings: S/A, protective!theo, violence, fluff, blood, i also didn’t proof read.

things with you and theo had been off for the past week and you couldn’t quite put your finger on what was going on. you had barley spoke with him but when you did, it was only brief and cold. it seemed as if he was avoiding you. which made you upset, really upset.

it was a rainy saturday night at hogwarts, but for the past couple of weeks the rain was a normal occurrence. you sat in the hufflepuff common room staring at the ceiling bored out of your bloody mind. all you wanted to do was lay in theo’s arms by the fire but with his sudden mood change you worried he wasn’t interested in seeing you. so you decided to go to the library and study for a bit.

as you walked into the dimly lit library you noticed a few familiar faces separated along the library , enzo berkshire, cormac mclaggen, hermione granger. enzo immediately spotted you and gave you a welcoming smile.

“y/n hey!” he started.

“oh hi enzo!” you replied.

“how have you been?” he questioned.

to be honest you hadn’t been good. you couldn’t get the thought of theo’s bizarre behavior out of your head.

“well i don’t know, things with me and theo just haven’t been the same as they used to.” you admitted.

enzo looked down, almost like he knew something you didn’t.

“y/n” theo started.

you waited patiently for a response from enzo.

“theo has just been going through a lot of stuff. i mean you know his parents, they’re not like yours y/n. he’s just got a lot going on and doesn’t know how to properly express his emotions. he thought it might be best to just distance himself from you, he doesn’t want to hurt you y/n.”

your heart sunk thinking of your beloved boyfriend in pain. all you wanted to do was comfort him and make him feel better and the thought of him not wanting you around made your eyes water.

“it’s not your fault y/n. he’s doing this to protect you” enzo ensured.

you shook your head, all of your pain was bottled up inside you and was ready to explode.

“just let me see him.” you pleaded, now a tear had fallen down your cheek.

“it’s for the best, you’ll only get yourself hurt trying to talk to him.” he states.

“are you fucking serious enzo, he’s my boyfriend and he’s in pain and not being able to do anything about that breaks my heart.” you confess angrily, trying to keep your voice down in the quiet library.

“i’m sorry y/n i think he just needs to be left alone right now. i really am sorry”

at this point you had tears streaming down your face. you had to get out of here and calm down.

“well tell him i miss him.” you said quietly before walking out of the library with your head down. you didn’t know where you were going as you walked down an empty corridor but you just needed to clam down.

finally you found an empty bench at the end of an old hallway. you put your head against your knees. you couldn’t stop crying. you really did miss theo and what hurt the most was you couldn’t even see him.

a few minutes passed and a hand began to rub your back. your heart began to beat faster and faster, thinking it was theo. you looked up to see cormac mclaggen and cried even more.

“y/n it’s alright im here.” he gave you a soft smile as he continued rubbing your back.

“what’s got you so upset baby?”

baby. that’s what theo called you .

“t-theo” you begin.

“i just can’t do it anymore. something’s terribly wrong with him and i can’t even be there for him.” you confess as you begin to calm down.

cormac’s hands move down from your back, now approaching your thighs. his touch didn’t feel so friendly anymore.

you scrunch your eyebrows at him. “look cormac, just because theo has me upset doesn’t mean he’s not my boyfriend.” you snap.

“maybe i can give you a good reason as to why he shouldn’t be your boyfriend. he doesn’t deserve a pretty little thing like you, baby.” he smirks

“stop it.”

his hands began to move further down and he inserts his fingers inside your pussy.

tears threaten your eyes once again, this time your eyes are laced with fear.

“fucking stop.” you repeated as you attempt to get off the bench. he pulls you down by the waste and pushes you against him.

“cmon baby.” he laughs while moving his fingers deeper inside you.

your once again crying. your fucking whimpering. you just want theo.

cormac starts kissing your neck and moves his free hand tight around your left breast, squeezing it.

“someone help me! please!” you yell.

“shut the fuck up. let me fucking touch you like the bloody whore you are.” he covers your mouth as his fingers move faster under your yellow dress.

but to your luck you hear footsteps around the corner.

hermione granger looks at the scene infront of her and drops her mouth. finally cormac lets go of you as he runs away.

your knees drop to the floor as you sob even more.

hermione runs over to you and holds you in her arms.

“y/n i’m so so sorry.”

“that dirty fuck. you didn’t deserve that.” she whispers.

you can’t stop crying. the thought of cormac haunts you.

“let’s get you up y/n, okay? i can take you up to your dorm, wherever you want.” she says as she picks you up off the ground and holds your hand.

you nod.

as you walked past the library, enzo see’s you and runs over.

“look y/n im really sorry about theo, i didn’t know it would upset you that much.” he freaks out.

“enzo.” hermione starts as she looks at your who’s looking down.

“this isn’t about theo anymore. something happened.” she whispers.

theo’s face drops.

“what do you mean something happened?” he raises his voice.

hermione looks back at you again and shakes her head out of empathy.

“hermione tell me what the fuck happened!” enzo shouts.

“it was cormac.” she admits.

you begin crying more, hearing that awful name.

“cmon y/n.” enzo whispers as he grabs your hand taking you to the slyterhin dormitory.

once you arrive in the dark green dormitory you receive concerned looks from slytherins all around. enzo takes you up to theo’s room and barges in.

“what the fuck you fucking-“ theo shouts as he turns around.

sobs escape you as you lock eyes with him. his dark eyes turn soft as he sees you in such a vulnerable state.

“baby.” he speaks softly as he runs to give you a hug.

oh how you missed sweet theo.

“baby. what’s wrong? i’m sorry baby i know i haven’t been a good boyfriend im really sorry.”

you just stay in his arms and say nothing.

“baby talk to me. what happened?

no repsonse.

“enzo what the fuck happened” he demands.

“it was cormac mclaggen.” he says calmly, trying to keep theo’s cool. theo grits his teeth.

you grab theo tighter.

“what the fuck did he do to my princess!” he yells.

he lifts your chin up.

“baby, what did he do?” he asks with soft eyes.

“h-he fingered me and i told him to s-stop.” you start to cry more.

“b-but he held me down, a-and i couldn’t l-leave.”

a flip switches in theo. he takes a deep breath.

“bloody fucking hell.” he screams as he slams the door to his room open and runs out of the dormitory.

enzo runs over to you and holds you while theo makes his way to the gryffindor dormitory.

he sees hermione approaching the fat lady portrait, opening the door.

“hermione where the fuck is cormac.” theo says lowly.

hermione only points upstairs to his room, knowing damn well what’s about to happen.

theo runs up the stairs and arrives the door and slams it open. cormac turns around and his eyes go wide.

“you motherfucker!” theo yells as he tackles cormac to the floor.

“don’t you ever fucking touch her, look at her, breathe near her again” he shouts as he punches cormac multiple times in the face.

cormac doesn’t respond.

theo continues to punch cormac.

“do you fucking hear me you sick fuck. i’m gonna kill you, dirty piece of shit!” theo shouts louder.

cormac only nods, not being able to speak.

“say you fucking understand!” theo demands.

“i-i under s-stand.” cormac whispers.

theo grabs cormac’s face and begins slamming it into the floorboard continuously. blood drips everywhere.

cormacs roommate runs in and grabs theo’s shoulders.

“your gonna kill him mate, leave him alone.” he pleads.

“i’m trying to fucking kill him” theo confesses through gritted teeth.

hermione walks in.

“please theo, y/n needs you right now. cormac isn’t worth your time with her.” she says softly.

theo thinks about you and decides she’s right.

“this isn’t over mclaggen.” theo spits as he leaves the dorm room.

once theo arrives back to the slytherin dormitory he runs upstairs to see you patiently waiting for him in his bed.

you look at him. sweaty, panting, but what you really noticed was the blood all over him.

“baby, let me wash my hands then we can cuddle.”

theo washes his hands and takes off his button up and pants and gets in bed with you.

he snakes his arm around your waist and plays with yiur hair. you finally calm down. you finally feel safe.

“im so sorry baby, ill never ever let anything like that happen to you again. it’s all my fault i should’ve been there for you instead of acting like an asshole.” he whispers softly.

“theo shh.” you whisper.

he goes silent for a little while.

“your safe with me. okay baby? i’m always here.” he holds you tight.

“i love you theo.” you smile for the first time since it all happened.

“i love you so fucking much baby. you should’ve seen fucking mclaggen i almost killed the bitch for you.” he smiled.

theo was your other half. you were theo’s other half. theo kept you safe. you kept him happy. theo kept you happy. you kept him safe.

#slytherin boys #theodore nott #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x you #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott x you #theo nott x y/n #lorenzo berkshire #hermione granger #cormac mclaggen #harry potter #fluff

[tired-teacher-blog]

Listen, Dabi couldn't care less if you were a hero, a villain, or even a regular civilian, since he would treat you the same way regardless.

You had been stuck -for the longest time- in a whirlpool of doubt and self pity, wondering if you actually meant anything at all to the infamous villain, a question that had proven to be hard to answer due to the man's stoic and aloof personality as well as his rare showcase of emotions, and athough it is true you were his first and only woman, the awkwardness and rift that loomed over for weeks following your first night together, did nothing but confirm your doubts.

Not so much as a glance or a how-do-you-do, as if regretting the night of passion he had with you, no explanation whatsoever, none when he shunned you, and none when he sought you out again.

Yeah, you were a play thing to him, as worthless as you had always anticipated yourself to be.. or so you thought.

You once found yourself caught in a ferocious battle between the two parties, and while falling to the ground barely conscious, all you could think of was him.

_ "Get up! Get the fuck up do you hear me?! Come on what the hell!" the words themselves were nothing you hadn't heard him yell out before, however the look on his face while he gently cradled your head and caressed your cheeks, while he kissed your forehead and carried you to safety, that look was something new.

It was fright, pure and evident, but also a softness that you had never witnessed before, so maybe, just maybe, you weren't just a nobody to him.

For days after that fateful one, a glimpse of hope appeared within you, and a determination to have an answer settled in your mind.

_ "You.. you were worried about me that day.. weren't you?" you struggled between labored breaths as he finally pulled out of your sopping heat.

_ "Would you let it go." he flumped back into bed, pleading with his pulse to settle, and placing his forearm over his face to escape your interrogation, despite that, there was no vexation to his words, it was more like he was.. bashful?

You remained quiet but only for a moment, a smile adorning your face as you watched him fidgeting nervously.

_ "I can't help but wonder though, why did you start avoiding me after our first night together?" you turned on your side to face him, placing both hands under your cheek as you waited.

_ "Are you fucking kidding me woman? I lost my virginity to you! How was I supposed to act around you after that? I needed some time damnit."

You were stunned witnessing his outburst, his forearm no longer covered his flushed face, and his typical relaxed expression was replaced with a twisted one. It was honestly comical.

_ "So that's what it was.." your words were no higher than a whisper as you allowed his own to sink in, "you do like me then, right?"

_ "What kinda' stupid question is that? Nothing is forcing me to be with you, okay?" and his frown only deepened as he attempted to keep his guard up.

You weren't as cool though, and hearing his distorted confession gave you a boost of confidence to comfortably divulge your own at last, "I like you too, I really do!"

You jumped to his chest and hugged him tightly, giggling and kicking your feet while he growled in annoyance.

_ "Yeah okay, I get it, now settle down." his grumpy expression remained, but his arms had moved to wrap around you while he kissed the top of your head.

Dabi couldn't care less if you were a hero, a villain, or even a regular civilian, because regardless of that, his feelings for you will remain sincere, even if he fails to declare them properly.

Divider by @/saradika

#dabi fluff #dabi x reader #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #dabi imagine #dabi headcanons #dabi smut #touya todoroki x reader #touya todoroki x you #touya todoroki fluff #touya todoroki headcanons #touya todoroki smut #dabi angst #touya todoroki #dabi x female reader #mha imagines #bnha imagines #mha fluff #bnha fluff

[yawnderu]

Daddy's girl - Vladimir Makarov x Reader

The daddy issues are hitting hard today. ^_^

CW: face slapping, death threats, degrading words, hurt/comfort... as comforting a terrorist can be. Reader isn't Makarov's daughter.

''You didn't come to my graduation.'' You stumble into his office without knocking, the liquid courage in your blood giving you the guts you never even knew you had.

''My little princess.'' His tone is full of sarcasm, brown eyes sizing you up as he looks up from the paperwork sprawled on his desk. He tilts his head slightly as you say nothing.

''How kind of you to grace me with your presence. Of course, I wasn't able to attend your graduation... I have important duties as a leader.'' He was making a show out of it, voice dripping pure disdain as he got up from his chair, walking over to you with his hands clasped behind his back. Your silence makes the corners of his mouth tilt up.

''Besides, I've never been much of a family man.'' Despite knowing better, the alcohol is poisoning your brain, taking full control of your tongue.

''Go fuck yourself.'' The words are spoken with pure hatred, years of suppressed words due to only being acknowledged with condescending words finally coming out.

''I'm shocked, my dear.'' There's a smirk on his face at your bold words, clearly amused by your courage. Oh, how his hands are aching to hurt.

''You know better than to speak to me like that. Maybe I should teach you a lesson in respect again.'' He leans down slightly, one hand firmly holding your jaw as he stares down at you with cold, piercing eyes. You hold your ground, arms crossed over your chest while you stare up at him stubbornly. In the past, you'd be begging and trying to run away, yet you stand tall and proud in pure defiance. Just this once.

''I've given you everything you could ever want, and this is the thanks I get for it?'' He's looming over you like a predator ready to pounce on its prey, eyes burning with resentment and anger you have seen many times before.

''You are nothing without me.'' With a swift, jerky motion, the hand grasping your jaw lets go just to reach out and slap you across the face, the sound of his hand connecting with your skin echoing throughout the room. Your eyes close out of reflex, trying your best not to fall down despite how dizzy the hard slap and the alcohol are making you. You take a few seconds to recover, looking up at him with nothing but disdain, mirroring his own expression.

''You've given me everything but your love.'' Makarov's expression hardens even further, disgust mixing in with the anger.

''Love? What do you know about love? You're a naive little girl who has never in her life faced the reality of this world. You think I'm so cruel, so heartless, but I've made more sacrifices than you could ever imagine.'' His Russian accent got more prominent the more annoyed he got, making his words sound even harsher. He grabbed you by the arm, spinning you around and forcing you to face the window that looked out into the city skyline.

''Your mother's love didn't stop her from dying when she gave birth to you. You're lucky I took you under my wing and gave you a life of luxury.'' You scoffed at his comment, staying quiet for now as you held back tears.

''I tolerated your insolence because I thought that with time, you'd respect me... I see now that I failed to raise you properly.'' He pulled out his revolver, pressing the muzzle against your temple. There was barely any emotion in his face, simply cold, calculated indifference.

''That can be fixed easily.'' He presses the gun harder against your head, and all you can do is hold back tears. You bite the inside of your cheek softly, waiting for a ''bang'' that doesn't come yet.

''Go ahead, pap.'' Your stubborn mouth lashes out before you can even think about it, trying your best to give him a smile despite the way your eyes are burning with tears.

''Free me from this life of death and war you gave me.'' Makarov frowns, finger tensing on the trigger as he looks down at you. He would never admit it, but the unexpected response caught him off-guard.

''I've been too soft on you.'' He pulls back the hammer, metal clicking loudly.

''Quite the opposite, but whatever.'' There was an icy calm in his gaze as he looked down at the younger girl.

''Do you know what your problem is? You're ungrateful. More stubborn than a mule and twice as bratty. All you've ever done is take, take, take.'' His finger tightens on the trigger, patience wearing thin by the second. He wanted to see the fear in her eyes, to see the tears finally roll down her cheeks, to hear her beg for her life, yet she wasn't giving him the satisfaction.

''That's my problem?'' You ask sarcastically, turning your head slightly to look up at him, gun now held against your forehead as you lean closer to him, challenging him even further. ''I've done nothing but dedicating my time and life to you and the Inner Circle.''

Makarov takes a step back, lowering his gun by his side before almost hesitantly putting it back in its holster. He looks you up and down with pure disdain, blood boiling inside his throbbing veins.

''It's your attitude that irks me, not whatever you think you've done for me and the Inner Circle. You're underserving of the respect that comes with your position, ungrateful for the life I've given you, you're living proof of all my failures. Do you understand, child?'' He lets go of your arm, hand twitching to get the gun back, but he ignores it for now. He sighs heavily, walking over to his desk and pulling a bottle of vodka out of a drawer, gloved hands opening the bottle and taking a long, long swig. He's way too sober to deal with you.

''Why are you even drunk at 9:00AM?'' He asks softly, trying his best not to grow gray hairs at the stress your mere presence causes him.

''I've been up all night. Graduation party with some friends and the after.'' You speak just as softly, looking out the window for a while before finally turning back to him, hands clasped behind your back politely, a fake, calm expression on your face despite the turmoil in your head. He simply nods his head, elbows leaning on the lavish desk while taking another swig of the vodka.

''No chaser?'' You try to bring some humor to the situation, all anger gone as you now simply try to please him, ignoring your own emotional needs like usual. To your surprise, he lets out a soft amused chuckle.

''No chaser.'' He confirms, taking a deep breath before pulling two glasses out, filling them up before holding one your way.

''You better not disappoint me.'' The words lack their usual venom, though he's still clearly not happy with you. He knocks back his glass, filling it again without waiting for you. You hesitantly reach for the glass, holding your breath as you knock it back as well, making a face once the alcohol burns your throat and warms up your stomach.

''Ugh.'' Is all you can say, sitting in a chair in front of his desk as he fills up your glass again.

''Come on, try not to embarrass yourself.'' He's not being hostile for once. He almost sounds teasing as he says that, keeping eye contact while he takes his shot without even grimacing or making a face, clearly handling alcohol much better than you.

''You're trying to get me drunk for fun.'' Yet you still grab the glass and knock it back, making another face of pure disgust at the burn of pure vodka he seems to be drinking so easily.

''It certainly looks like it's working.'' He says with a small teasing tone, gesturing towards your slightly unfocused gaze.

''It is.'' Your voice is slightly slurred, the mix of the alcohol you drank earlier, the hard liquor and the lack of sleep hitting you like a fucking train, making you more tired by the second. You rest your head on the desk, eyes closing as you hear Makarov let out an amused chuckle as he gets up from his chair.

''Come here.'' He speaks with surprising softness, and you can feel him lifting you up with care, bringing your barely conscious body to his much bigger chair as he sits down, holding you close on his lap. One of his hands is on your lower back, safely securing your body, while the other one is running up and down the length of your hair.

''Get some sleep.'' He whispers softly and he doesn't have to repeat himself twice. Before you're fully gone, you can feel his lips plant a small kiss on the top of your head. Just this once, he'll allow himself to be weak.

#vladimir makarov x reader #vladimir makarov #cod makarov #makarov x reader #cod mw2 #cod mwii #mw2 angst #call of duty mw3 #cod mw3 #modern warfare 3

[zoeykallus]

Look, sweetheart, I need Crosshair back with the batch. I need him to just find out about Tech. And I need him to come not only back to the batch, but too his lover (fem reader), and while they are having a rather hot reunion, he suddenly has a breakdown, trying to cope the news that Tech is gone. Reader comforts him, of course, catching him. Crosshair NEEDS a moment like that. Pretty please...

Aloha!

Yet another ancient request that slipped through the cracks. I'm so so so so sorry you had to wait so long for this. But I gotta tell you, I really like the scene that's just now unfolding in my head. Here we go, finally!

Crosshair x Fem!Reader One-shot - Don't Let Go Of Me

Warnings: 18+ (?) Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Strongly Suggestive/Sexual Themes/Fluff

_________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_________

"But, where is Tech? Why isn't he chewing my ear off with his latest findings yet?" It quietens down completely in the cockpit of the Marauder. Only the soft hum of the shuttle can be heard. Every single one of you has known from the start, that this question would come sooner or later, but it still hits you like a sledgehammer. Hunter is the only one who manages to meet Crosshair's gaze. "Things went wrong during our first attempt to free you" You see Crosshair slowly frowning critically. As if to brace yourself, you slowly take a deep breath and exhale again, as if it's you hearing this news for the first time, not him. Shrugging his shoulders, the Sniper asks, "So, what does that mean?" "Tech didn't make it back. We'd all be dead without him. Plan 99," Echo says quietly. You see Crosshair swallow. A tremor runs through his hands for a moment, then he is completely motionless again. The Sniper avoids your gaze, not looking at you once. He knows how well you know him, that you can see his every emotion, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, and right now it's unsettling him far too much.

Crosshair blinks, his expression stony, he doesn't move a muscle. A long, awkward moment of silence ensues, no one says a word. But then, just as you expected, Crosshair immediately switches from sadness to anger. His gaze could have cut dura steel as he sets his sights on Hunter. His voice isn't loud, but it's cutting as he speaks, "Why? Why the hell did you even try this! I sent you this message to keep you away, to hide, to keep Omega safe!" Hunter grinds his teeth, clearly preoccupied with staying calm. He has enough guilt without Crosshair putting his finger on it. "Tech could still be alive if you'd just done the right thing once," the Sniper snarls, digging his finger into Hunter's chest, "Just one fucking time" You see Hunter grit his teeth, the tension beneath his surface. Echo pushes Crosshair's outstretched arm aside and says, "Hunter was against getting you. Tech and Omega insisted we try" Crossshair gruffly pushes Echo aside and snaps, "Doesn't matter," turning to Hunter he says, "You're the squad leader, you have the final say and you should have decided differently" Hunter growls softly, "I'm painfully aware of that"

Omega, who has been watching quietly until now, says quietly but clearly, "Tech and I insisted, we would never have given in" Crosshair snorts, pushing past Wrecker towards the ramp. "Where are you going?" asks Hunter. " Out of here, I can't breathe in here," the Sniper grumbles and disappears from your sight. Wrecker sighs, "Well, that went as well as expected" You pat Hunter gently on the shoulder and say, "You did the right thing, if it wasn't for Saw none of this would have happened. It wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Tech's or Omega's either" Hunter sighs wistfully and says, "Maybe" "Give Crosshair some time, he's just hearing this for the first time, he needs to digest the whole thing before he can deal with it properly," you tell him encouragingly.

Hunter growls, "He should pull himself together sooner or later, we all mourn Tech, he wasn't just his brother" After a sigh he adds, "Keep an eye on him please" You nod and say, "I'll give him some time alone, then I'll follow him"

You wait almost two hours before following Crosshair to the beach. Omega had already wanted to follow him, but you asked her to stay away from him for now and leave you to it. The girl reluctantly agreed, only when Hunter told her to stay in the ship did she let you go alone. As if the weather were adjusting to the general mood, dark clouds gather over Pabuu. In the distance, you hear a low rumble of thunder. Shortly afterward, it starts to rain, and not just a little. You sigh and continue walking towards the beach. As expected, you find Crosshair there, on a rockier part of the beach, with his rifle, firing at makeshift targets consisting of glass bottles and various stones. You don't have to watch him for long to realize that he is anything but at the top of his game. He repeatedly misses shots that he would normally hit at any time, regardless of the weather conditions.

The wind carries his growls, his half-suppressed curses to your ear and you sigh softly. He is completely agitated, no wonder he can't concentrate. As you get closer, you see the trembling in his hands, which he repeatedly clenches into fists, shakes and tries to relax before he takes his next shot. But suddenly he stops. You know he has sensed your presence. His head slowly turns in your direction. As you stand next to him, he growls, "I was wondering what was keeping you" "I thought I'd give you a little space before I ambush you" "Hmm," he grumbles quietly, puts the Firepuncher back in the holster on his back, and sits down on one of the wet rocks nearby. As you try to sit down next to him, he stops you, shaking his head, "The rocks are wet and freezing, you're sure to catch a cold if you sit on them for any length of time" "You sit on them too" He raises his eyebrows and says, "I'm a clone, Kitten, besides, I have my armor on, I don't get sick easily"

With a sigh, you put your hands in your jacket pockets. Your clothes are already soaked, you don't think it really matters whether you sit down on the cold stone or not, but you stand still. Somehow you had imagined the reunion between you two to be different. You know that he is not the type for exuberant emotional exchanges, but still. The euphoria you felt when you realized he was back, which you actually still feel, you wish you could see some of it in him. At the moment, you're not quite sure where you both stand. You don't quite know if he wants to hear it, but you say it anyway, "I missed you" He looks up at you from his seated position, his gaze strangely scrutinizing, then his eyes wander back to the horizon over the sea in the distance. "Not as much as I missed you," he mumbles softly, so softly that his words are almost drowned out by the sound of the rain. You're so surprised you don't know what to reply, but maybe no response is necessary for now. Crosshair licks his lips, wipes rainwater from his face, and looks up at you again.

"Is there a place here where we can be alone and undisturbed?" "We are alone" Crosshair rolls his eyes and says, "No we're not, Omega is sneaking around back there, behind the rocks" You sigh, turn around and shout, "Omega, go back to the ship!" "How did you see me?" the girl shouts back in disbelief. "I didn't. Please go back to Hunter, I have everything under control here" After Omega leaves, Crosshair looks at you, a barely noticeable smirk at the corner of his mouth. "So you have everything under control here?" You shrug your shoulders. "More or less." He chuckles. "Now is there somewhere we can be undisturbed and maybe get out of the rain?" the Sniper asks.

Crosshair takes off the Firepuncher, removes his gloves and takes off his chest plate as he looks around. "So this is where you live now?" "When we're not traveling, yes" The little cottage is nothing particularly meaningful, you don't actually spend much time here, there's hardly any decoration or features worth mentioning. But he does notice one thing. You follow his gaze as you notice that it lingers in one place for a long time. There's a target hanging at the head of your bed. "You really still have that thing?" He steps closer to the bed, his fingers gliding over the burn holes from blaster shots in the target hanging above it, over the initials you both carved into it after your first training session together. He laughs softly and says, "You were as happy as a baby when you got to use the Firepuncher" "I remember," you reply quietly.

You swallow and finally explain, still quietly, "When I realized you weren't coming back, that you were staying with the Empire, I dug out the target from my old stuff and hung it up. Most of our things were destroyed on Kamino, so I didn't have any pictures or anything of you. It was just my way of remembering you and dealing with the fact that you were gone" He sighs softly, gazing at the strange decoration above your bed for quite a while before turning to you. "I never left you" "Yes, you very much did. You knew I couldn't follow you on your path with the Empire, if only because of my political past. When you decided to stay there, you left me." He shakes his head and sighs again. "It's not that simple" You shrug your shoulders impatiently, you don't want to argue right now, not at all. "Does it matter? I don't expect an apology or an explanation. You did what you thought was right at the time, and at some point you realized it was wrong. These things happen," you say, peeling yourself out of your completely soaked jacket and throwing it on the floor.

"You just let me off the hook like that? I'd be pissed if I were you" You laugh humorlessly, "Yeah, I know you hold grudges" Crosshair comes over with a sigh and picks up your jacket from the floor. "Don't you have a hamper?" You laugh again. "Still such a neat freak? No, I don't, I don't spend too much time here" With another sigh, Crosshair lets the jacket fall to the floor again. "You're completely soaked," he notes. "It's raining," you say dryly. You're only wearing a tank top, which is also soaked, and a pair of shorts under your jacket. His fingers graze your shoulders, which immediately makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and sends a pleasant shiver down your spine. "Your skin is all chilled out, take off the rest of your wet clothes"

You laugh softly and say, "You just want to see me naked" He nods and admits, "That too, yes. But you're really chilled out." Crosshair watches you unabashedly as you take off the rest of your clothes, including your underwear, and finally stand naked in front of him. He takes a deep breath and finally says, "It's been a long time since I've seen anything so beautiful" The next moment your lips meet, they are as soft and warm as you remember them. The moment as you get closer, as his face approaches yours, is somehow a blur, as if it never happened, as if his lips had simply always been on yours. You help Crosshair out of his armor and blacks, the pieces flying carelessly to the floor on your way to bed. You roll through the sheets, hands and lips everywhere. If you're not mistaken, you can feel one of his hands shaking occasionally, but you're not really in a position to pay much attention to it at the moment. His fingers trail down your body, as do his lips, reaching for your body, pressing against you, naked and ravenous. Crosshair seems so greedy, almost desperate, as he caresses you, moaning under your every touch as if it's the first time anyone has touched him like this.

He's honest with you, direct. "It's been a long time since I've been able to relieve myself, I don't know how long I can last today" Your lips graze along his lower jaw and elicit an excited sigh. "You know that doesn't matter to me, being this intimate with you is enough for me" Crosshair rolls his eyes, but then says, "I know, but you also know that it matters to me that you get what you need. But right now... I just don't know how long this will last, and I need you now, your body, your closeness" You feel his hard cock twitch as it rests on your pubic area and open your thighs a little wider. "You're safe here, Crosshair, I love you. Come here, melt into me" The look he gives you is enough, he doesn't need to say the words back, the relief, the gratitude, the depth of affection in those otherwise serious eyes is worth a thousand words.

As he enters your body, his hard length stretching and filling your wet heat, you let out a deep, relieved sigh from your lungs. You've missed this feeling so much. It's strange, you feel much less arousal at the moment, more deep relief, a strange euphoria and affection. You smile rapturously as Crosshair climaxes, as expected, after a relatively short time and a few intense thrusts into your pussy. The sound that leaves his throat is both a moan and a whimper, it sounds relieved, surprised and in a strange way... desperate. Concerned, you gently stroke his bare back with your fingertips. He remains lying on top of you, most of his weight resting on his forearms, his head buried in the hollow between your head and shoulder. Then you feel it. A slight tremor goes through his upper body, especially through his shoulders, his breathing is heavy, irregular. A quiet sob, half smothered by your neck and the pillow. Holy shit, is all you can think right now. Crosshair has shown himself vulnerable to you before, in his, odd, often reluctant way, but this is new.

Silently, you draw gentle, soothing circles on his back while his tears wet your neck. There are no correct words now, you realize, this is something that needs to come out of him, uncommented. You don't know how much time has passed, maybe an hour or two. Crosshair is getting heavier on you. You don't want to bother him, don't want to push him away, but slowly you can barely breathe. "Cross," you say softly, a little breathlessly, "I can barely catch my breath" He straightens up with such a sudden jolt that you startle a little. "Sorry," he mumbles, hastily wipes his still tear-streaked face and starts to get dressed. His eyes are all red and swollen, you've never seen him like this before. Quietly, secretly, your heart breaks at the sight. You wish you could do something, but you know you can't force your care on him, that's not how Crosshair works. You have to offer him opportunities that he can take on his own terms and as he feels. "There's no need to apologize," you say gently. Crosshair sighs softly, "I know it's not particularly romantic to just leave after what we just did, but I need some fresh air, alone"

So he withdraws, again. Actually, you're not surprised. A relationship with Crosshair is sometimes a bit like a game of tug-of-war or patience. You stifle a sigh and continue to smile at him. "That's okay. You know where to find me whenever you need me." Crosshair sighs in relief, he didn't really expect you to make a scene. But the circumstances are a little different compared to normal, and basically he couldn't have blamed you if you'd been angry that he wanted to leave, he's aware of that. "Thank you," he says quietly, almost in a whisper, before opening the door and walking out into the rain. With a sigh, you go into the bathroom, clean yourself up and finally lie back in bed when there is a sudden knock at the door. "Who is it?" The door opens very slowly and Crosshair sticks his head in. "Cross?" you ask in surprise. "Yeah... I've changed my mind," he says a little uncertainly, entering the room and closing the door behind him again, "I don't think I want to be alone after all, I've been alone long enough, and I feel better with you."

Your eyes widen in surprise, but then you give him a warm smile. Crosshair clears his throat a little awkwardly and asks, "Would you mind if I stayed the night?" Your smile widens, and you say, "You know very well that you can stay here every night for all I care" A smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth. You reach out to him and Crosshair hurriedly takes off his gear, crawls under the covers and into your arms, wrapping his own arms around your body. With a deep sigh of relief, he leans his head against your chest and whispers so softly it's almost not even a whisper anymore, "I love you, don't let go of me" At the same volume, you whisper back, "Never" and feel him wrap his arms a little tighter around you.

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

@clonelovr

#star wars #tbb #the bad batch #clone force 99 #sw tbb #bad batch crosshair #clone trooper crosshair #commander crosshair #crosshair #crosshair bad batch #crosshair tbb #crosshair the bad batch #crosshair x reader #crosshair x you #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #the bad batch crosshair #omega #hunter #tech #bad batch tech #tbb tech #hurt/comfort #crosshair x reader hurt/comfort #wrecker #echo #bad batch echo #pabuu #suggestive

[chrollohearttags]

prompt #6

toxic armin! nd reader are arguing nd when reader talks her shit armin gets turned on nd pulls his dick out nd tells her to “suck on it” making her forget all the shit he did(once again)

and I was JUST thinking about him omg 😫😫 y’all have no idea how much I love toxic!armin. He does sum to meee.

cw: oral, spit play, fingers in the mouth, reader threatening armin bc it’s all he deserves

frustrated. the one word that came to mind when trying to express your emotions right now. You couldn’t think straight, couldn’t articulate your words properly, let alone get your point across without becoming completely irate. That’s what happened when you dealt with the likes of armin artlert. A known playboy with a reputation that preceded him. But with all the information you heard from the streets about him dogging all his women, being a cheater and a dumbass, you decided to give him a chance. Under the premise that his ass was gone the second he acted the fool. Unfortunately, things weren’t so simple with him! You could never truly be free of him..whether physically from the fact that no man fucked you quite like he did. Or mentally because he’d blow your phone up and play mind games until you let him back in for a thousandth chance.

“Please…please give me one good reason why I shouldn’t bust you in your shit, Armin. Please give me one.”

“I already told you, angel. I don’t even know that girl…she probably has me confused with somebody else..”

another Saturday night wasted down the drain..where you could put partying with your girls, finding a man worth of a damn, it was being spent pacing the floor of your two bedroom apartment you shared together. Arguing and fussing about a potential side piece as he sat on the edge of the bed. Sprawled out shirtless with nothing but black sweats on. Shaggy blonde hair going everywhere and tattoos on his chest and forearm still vibrant from the lotion he applied after he showered. Despite how fine your man was, you were solely focused on ripping him apart. Pissed off that he had yet again embarrassed you. “So that bitch asked you to suck your dick and she got you confused with somebody else? Nah nigga, the only thing you and her both got..is me fucked up.”

ramping and raving like a mad woman as you poked his forehead with your long acrylics. Folded arms and puffed out jaws like a petulant child and all he could do was stare in adoration for how cute you were. He didn’t want to admit it but the sight of you putting him in his place really got Armin stirred up. Hearing you cuss him for everything he was worth..clapping your hands..he loved seeing you in this aggressive state. Even if it wasn’t healthy. “Playing in my motherfuckin’ face…I’m not one of these other bitches, Armin.” He heard you, loud and crystal clear but he couldn’t be vexed to care. He never did. He never gave a damn about his actions affected you or anyone else. But he’d pretend, so as long as he could get his own gratification..

“I know, baby..they’re nothing like you. That’s why I told you, I don’t even know her ass. You know how many of them are jealous of you? Seriously, who wouldn’t be? Look at you..”

his half assed attempt of mulling over the situation was bombing, until he resorted to desperate measures that is..leaning back, he’d open his legs a bit more and suck his teeth, flashing you a shit eating smirk. One that would undeniably get him his way! Extending an arm out, he’d grasp for your hand and pull you towards him, intertwining those fingers together and placing kisses on the knuckles.

“..shit, I mean…if I’m being honest, you got me thinking about you right now, baby. They can’t do any of the things you can. Can’t love me the way you can, not as beautiful as you are…and damn sure can’t fuck on me the way you do.”

you knew he was only trying to soften you up. Stop you from being angry and as always, that smooth charm and slick demeanor done its job. As he had your eyes adverted to his face, tugging you down gently to your knees for a kiss, his other hand was working to free his erection from its confines. Stiff and seeping with precum, he wanted nothing more than shove it between those pretty, gloss stained lips. But first, he’d shove two fingers between them, letting you suck them and coo to you as he always done. Swiping a finger across your cheek, he knew you were exactly where he wanted you. “Go ahead, baby..suck on it.”

prompting as he guided your head down into his lap. In a matter of seconds, he had those fingers wrapped around his shaft and that tip stuck in your mouth, sloppily sucking on it as you always did. Drumming up strings of saliva in the process and making you drool all over him.

“There you go…good girl. Only you can make me feel like this. Do what these bitches can’t.”

#cherry’s asks 🍒 #prompt games #fic prompt #oh these are too fun #aot x black reader #armin x black reader #black fem reader #armin headcanons #snk armin #armin smut #armin imagine #toxic armin #black reader smut #armin arlert #armin artlert #armin snk #aot armin #armin arlert x black reader #arminarlert #armin x y/n #aot headcanons #aot smut #aot imagines #black reader #armin aot #attack on titan armin #cw smut #cw spit #cw sex mention #suggestive cw

[celestialh4ven]

Miguel O’Hara headcanons

masterlist

SFW

He always cares for you when you’re sick, he’ll cook, clean and do every possible thing so you don’t have to lift a finger.

He doesn’t realize it at time but when he’s stressed he tends to claw and scratch on things (which is why your shared home is full of claw marks)

He loves loves LOVES giving you kisses, especially on the forehead, cheek, hand and neck.

He’s kinda overprotective, only because he doesn’t want to lose you.

He won’t admit it but he loves your height difference, it does things to him.

He’s not very good with emotions and sometimes doesn’t realize that his initial emotional response to some things aren’t…the best…

He’s such a gentleman, always holding the door for you, affirming to you daily how perfect you are, holds the door for you, gives you his jacket when you’re cold and picks you up when your legs get tired.

He’s not the biggest fan of being taken cared of but if you push him enough he’ll let you take care of him.

He loves it when you massage him especially after a long day of swinging around, helps relax his aching muscles.

Though he’s not the kind of guy to flex on people,he loves it when you compliment his muscles.

He once carried you and swung you around the city as a date.

His kisses tend to get a bit heated, don’t mind him though, he can’t control it.

He loves it when you kiss him, though it’s just a simple gesture, it warms his heart.

(For non Spanish speakers) sometimes he’ll teach you a little bit of Spanish and will quickly kiss you when you make a mistake then correct you after.

NSFW

He tries not to be, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t help but be rough in bed

He dick measures 12 in and is really really girthy ( it’s literally canon because I just know)

He loves biting you everywhere, you’re literally marked from head to toe.

His favourite positions are lotus, missionary, cowgirl, and he loves a good full Nelson if he’s feeling aroused enough.

Though he can be very animalistic in bed he’s actually really passionate and will give you a lot of kisses and praise.

He only bites you if you allow it since his venom paralyses, but the times you do allow him to he takes full advantage of it and uses your body how he pleases (ofc with your consent first), so you better hope you don’t have work the next day cause you’re gonna be sore.

He loves your face, and always want you to face him during sex so he’s able to see all your expressions and how good he’s making you feel.

When i say this man will EAT YOU OUT, I mean it. He’ll have both of your legs in his shoulders, web up your hands so you don’t escape and kiss, lick, suck and thrust his tongue into your pussy as if he hasn’t eaten in days.

He’s a service dom, most of the time, but there are some days he’ll let himself go and allow you please and dominate him.

Loves dirty talk, will say stuff like “Lo estás haciendo muy bien, cariño.” “¿Puedes sentirme en tu vientre?" as he’s caressing your belly bulge, or “You make me feel so good... my love.” “Qué muñequita tan bonita eres para mí".

Curses in Spanish when he’s close

His load is so thick and creamy, fills you up nice and good (good lord I’m so down bad for this man)

A part if him loves overstimulating you and how you squirt all over him when he does so.

He’ll accidentally claw at you sometimes but he makes sure he doesn’t hurt you, so yes you have a whole bunch of claw and bite marks around your body.

( if you’re on the thick/chubby side) he’ll leave so many kisses in between your thighs cause he’s loves how squishy they are, he’ll also make you sit in his face a lot, slapping your ass and thighs as he eats you out.

(If you’re on the muscular/gym girlie side) he’ll be so rough with you and will tease you, telling you “Oh cmon mi amor…you should be able to take it now shouldn’t you?”

He loves fucking you in the comfort of your home, he despises quickees so much, he’d rather wait till you Both are home so he can properly please you.

(Giggled and kicked my feet while writing this 🤭, part two of The misunderstanding is coming soon guys)

#miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel o’hara headcanon #miguel o’hara smut #Miguel o’hara fluff #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #miguel o’hara x fem!reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara x reader

[diazsdimples]

I think- I think you might be my person.

Buddie or BuckTommy if it sparks joy 💞🦛

Oh, we're going for the feels today huh? Have some Buddie feels, just for you my love 🥰🫶

"I think - I think you might be person."

The words hang heavy between them, thick with unspoken meaning. There's yearning behind them, years of bitten back "I love you" and "don't leave me" and "please stay, I need you." But finally, Buck will speak them, no longer afraid of the consequences. He's ready. They're ready.

Eddie looks a little stunned, his mouth hanging open slightly as he looks at Buck, takes in the open vulnerability of his expression. They're so close, just a couple more steps and they'll be there. Buck waits with bated breath, praying Eddie will take the cue and take Buck's tender, open heart delicately in his hands.

"I- we're best friends, Buck, I should hope I'm your person."

He's deflecting, Buck can tell. Eddie's had years of repression and Catholicism that've taught him to box away all his feelings and not allow himself to be authentically him.

But not anymore. They're allowed to be happy. They're allowed to have this, to have each other. Buck just needs to take that step that Eddie can't do himself, because Eddie will never let himself have something if he doesn't think Buck will want it too.

"No, Eddie. That's not what I mean, I'm not-" he sighs, mentally weighing up his options. He could back out now, pretend he was just talking about their friendship. But then they'd be back in that revolving door of bad decisions and unspoken words and Buck can't do that anymore. He won't.

"Fuck it. Eddie, you're my person because you're the most important thing in my life. You and Christopher. You're my best friend, yeah, but it's more than that, right? Every day I wake up and you're the first thing I think about. When we're not together, I feel empty, but when you're by my side it's like I'm whole, like a piece of me has been returned to my body. You're my person because there is no one else in this world I would rather spend every day with than you. I trust you with my life."

Eddie's eyes are soft and they shine with unshed tears. He's biting his lip and Buck wants nothing more than to run his thumb over it and release it from his teeth, and tenderly capture his lips with Buck's own. But he needs to finish what he's saying. Eddie has to hear it.

"Eddie I can't imagine a life without you. The sun rises and sets on you, the world revolves around you and I-" his voice breaks and he ducks his head. He can't go on, he can't say it, he's not strong enough, he's not-

Eddie's fingers curl under his chin and slowly, gently, he raises Buck's head so their eyes meet. God he's so beautiful. He's truly the most beautiful person Buck has ever seen.

"Go on," he whispers, his voice cracked and raw with emotion. "Please."

Buck sucks in a breath. It's now or never.

"I love you."

It's like the air has been knocked out of Eddie and his breath hisses from him. Buck can't breathe. The oxygen has been sucked from the room, and he can't breathe, not until Eddie speaks. Until he confirms that Buck hasn't fucked this up and read all the signals wrong.

"Please say something," he begs.

Eddie takes a step closer, his fingers never leaving Buck's chin. The gap between them closes until they're chest to chest, nose to nose, close than they've ever been before. Eddie's lips ghost against his, a tentative brush, as though he's testing the waters. Buck tilts his head ever so slightly and, emboldened, Eddie kisses Buck properly this time, their lips moving in sync with one another and oh, this is what's been missing from Buck's life.

It's like the world has a new meaning now because hold fuck, Eddie is kissing him. His best friend, the love of his life, the man he'd almost convinced himself he would never be allowed to have, is kissing him back as though he feels the same. There's such tenderness and emotion with the way Eddie kisses him, as though they were born for this. As though they were made for one another. Two halves of a whole, destined to be with one another regardless of circumstance.

Eddie pulls away from him and rests his forehead against Buck's, his lips pressed tightly together. He's breathing heavily and fast, as though he's moments away from a panic attack.

Buck gently touches Eddie's arm, just above the elbow. Eddie doesn't pull away, staying completely still.

"Eds?" Buck says, voice quiet and full of choked up emotion.

Eddie licks his lips and takes a deep breath, as though steeling himself, and Buck feels sick. He's going to say he doesn't feel it, that Buck is alone in this journey, that they're just friends and Buck has misread the signs. Eddie can't, he won't, won't ever-

"I love you too."

Send me a ship and a sentence and I'll finish it!!

#james answers things #james writes #this one also got away from me #and it's entirely your fault for giving me THAT sentence #I hope this was what you wanted 🫶🫶 #buddie #buddie ficlet #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 buddie #911 abc #911 #eddie x buck #buddie 911 #buddie fic #buddie wip

[chrissturnioloshoe]

Hate - C.S

Fluff - Y/n has had a shitty day and when she sees how much hate she’s been receiving on social media it just makes it worse but luckily her boyfriend Chris is there to make her feel better.

Recently I’ve been getting a lot of hate online mostly because I’m very close with the Sturniolo triplets. Chris and I have been dating for a few months now after being friends for a few years but we’ve decided to keep that away from the public despite the many rumours and speculations about us.

I’m used to hate at this point I’m a social media influencer so of course I’m going to get the odd hate comment or message but recently ever since I’ve appeared in more of the triplets videos the hate has been getting out of hand.

I don’t usually let the hate get to me, it’s just obsessive jealous teen girls but today I’ve had such a shit day and when I opened my tik tok my comments, they were just full of people commenting on everything I do and leaving unnecessary hateful comments, making my day even worse.

Chris and I have spoke about this situation briefly but he knows that I usually don’t give a fuck so we’ve never really addressed it properly.

I trail inside the triplets house and walk upstairs to the living room to find Chris sitting on the couch watching a movie, Nick and Matt no where to be seen. I think the expression on my face just says it all about how my day has been. Fucking shit, to be upfront.

“Hey” I say to Chris as I take my jacket off and place it on the dining table.

“Hey” Chris replies with a smile as he looks over to me, his eyes only catching the back of me. I yawn as I look around the room, looking for Nick and Matt.

“Where’s Nick and Matt?” I ask as I turn around to face Chris.

“They went out to target” Chris says as he watches me slump into the couch next to him. He could immediately tell something was off with me by the way I was acting.

“Hey is everything okay?” Chris asks as he gently rubs my thigh. I don’t respond instead I lean back to stretch whilst rubbing my eyes, praying not to cry. I literally never cry, but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed that I don’t know what else to do.

“Y/n?” Chris says whilst scooting closer to me, his hand still drawing gentle circles on my thigh. I let out a shaky breath as I look Chris in the eye, his eyes full of worry and love. Tears begin to fill my eyes, Chris immediately wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. I lay my head on his chest as tears begin to uncontrollably pour down my cheeks.

“Hey it’s okay” Chris reassures as I sob into his chest, his hands gently rubbing my back. “What’s wrong Y/n?” He says before placing a sweet kiss on my head.

“Fucking everything” I cry, not knowing how to express my emotions. “I’ve had such a fucking shit day, I literally could not bring myself to even get of bed today and then when I did, I went out and everything was just going so wrong and everyone was being so fucking rude to me and then I open my fucking phone to like a million fucking comments and messages saying this that and the fucking other about me and I’m just so fucking sick of it” I say ranting on to Chris.

Chris looks down at me, meeting my teary eyes. He swipes away my tears with his thumb as I continue to sob.

“It’s okay Y/n, I’m here for you and you know I love you and I’m sorry you’ve had such a shitty day and I’m sorry that people are saying all this nasty shit to you online but they’re just fucking jealous and it’s pathetic” Chris says as I sniffle away my tears.

“Thank you Chris, I love you too” I say as give him a weak smile. Hearing his reassuring words really helped me and made me remember that he’s right, they are just jealous and pathetic. And yeah, I probably am just overreacting right now but it’s so hard sometimes trying to stay positive and not let things get to me when it’s constant and never ending.

“Fuck them” Chris chuckles as he cups my face with his hands. I let out a small giggle as Chris kisses the tip of my nose. “They’re just jealous cause you’re beautiful and successful” He says, making me smile. “And you’ve got a fat ass” He adds making me laugh.

“What can I say, I really am just the full package” I say jokingly, making us both laugh.

“You really are” Chris says before placing a soft kiss on my lips.

“Now come on let’s go get some food, I’m hungry” He says as he pulls me up with him.

“Yeah me too, I’m fucking starving” I say, my tears completely disappeared and a new sense of confidence in my body, all thanks to my wonderful boyfriend Chris.

Short and sweet just like me hehehe 🤭🤭

But seriously this is my first time writing anything on tumblr and anything to do with the Sturniolo’s so hope you guys like it please request anything I’m literally up for fucking anything. Like cl I’m so ready to write smut 😭

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fluff

[lucifertoxics]

wifey I'm having such a bad day 😭😭 I need me some Marcus 😭😭💗 This would be a good moment to release your beautiful draft or I'm getting on my knees ready to beg for something cute of him😭😭

(if you need ideas you know I got a new haircut so how would he react to the reader changing their hair?? or maybe cheering them up after a bad day?? xx😭😭)

note 💌: wifey your wish is my command so sorry for not managing to get to this faster but lately i have been trying to keep up with everything so here this comes

--------------------------------------------------------------

one and only | marcus lopez arguello

pairing: marcus lopez x reader | genre: established relationship | warning: no warnings <3 | word count: 0.5k

[ BACK TO MASTERLIST ]

One thing that Marcus hated the most was not being able to spend more time with you lately. He has been planning lately how to kill Master Lin and in such a fashion he forgot to pay attention to you. Which he was reminded shortly, when he found you crying in your bed.

Wrapped in a blanket, with you head laying on the pillow, letting our little sobs, that's how Marcus saw you as he entered the door. To say that he was speechless couldn't express even half of what he was feeling. You. The love of his life. Were crying. Never in a million years he couldn't have been more hurt by seeing you like this. As the emotions ran through his heart, he ran to you.

Leaning by the side of the bed, holding your hand, slowly waking up from the somewhat trance you were in. He caressed your cheek softly, before speaking. "Hey..." Marcus said almost in a whisper, not knowing what to say exactly as the concept of love has never been taught right by his parents. "What happened baby?" He continued in the same tone.

Moments after hearing his voice, you lean into his touch, taking a moment to observe his features. He looked like he hadn't slept properly for days. His tired eyes searching for yours. Calmly you take a deep breath, nuzzling your head into his chest, taking in his scent. It was familiar. Comforting.

Your day couldn't have been worse, from working with Maria at a project and later being threated by Chico for daring to even talk to Maria in the first place, not only to not seeing your boyfriend as he lately he has been spending a lot of time planning with Saya. But you couldn't just bluntly say it right into his face, because you knew damn well that i would hurt him.

"Maria..." You say wiping your tears, barely giving him any information about the situation that you were in. The moment he heard you blurt out Maria's name, getting up and clenching his firsts, knowing what he had to do. He growls. "I'll fucking kill her."

"No..." You said, taking his hand and squeezing it. You wanted him to stay there with you, to keep you safe. "Stay..." You whispered to him, moving his hand to make him lay on the bed next to you. Knowing that fighting Maria will get him into trouble and that you needed him, he decided to lay down next to you. Wrapping his arm around you and making you the little spoon.

There were no words needed when it came to the two of you. Marcus loved making you feel loved even if he couldn't spend more time with you. He lets out a loud sight and leaves a trail of kisses on your back. Even if he was angry at Maria, hearing your heartbeat always managed to calm him down.

© LUCIFERTOXICS ⎯ do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

#marcus lopez arguello #marcus lopez imagine #marcus lopez smut #marcus lopez x reader #marcus lopez x y/n #marcus lopez x you #marcus x reader #writing #deadly class #benjamin wadsworth #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo x you #mattheo x y/n #mattheo x reader #mattheoxreader #slytherin boys #slytherin

[pinkanonwrites]

May i request nsfw hcs for heartslabyul iniciating like the ones you did for savanaclaw? With sub male reader or gn (to include everyone) please 🥺

Since these will be more about the guy's approaches than the reader's response, I decided to leave the reader as gender-neutral as possible. Hope that's alright!

Original post here!

NSFW Below the cut!

Oh my poor, painfully repressed Riddle. He has a lot of ingrained shame and guilt he has to get over before even being remotely comfortable being intimate with you. And even then, he's terribly awkward about initiating anything at all. He worries about being too needy, too much, and is rarely able to get the actual words out without dancing around his intent. Hope you're good at reading his expressions!

"I would- I would like, If you are available, of course, for us to perhaps... have some time to ourselves this evening? Only should your schedule permit, mind you. Though I would certainly... Enjoy it."

Trey is Mr. Smooth Operator compared to his childhood friend Riddle. If you're together he's already gotten long past the point of feeling comfortable flirting with and teasing you, and is willing to do it obviously and often. He likes to rope you into baking with him just so he can tuck his chin into your shoulder, rest his hands on your hips and blow on your ear to watch you shiver.

"Hmm?" He'll chuckle, acting oh-so-unaware of the effect he has on you. "Oh, I'm being distracting? Maybe you just have something else in mind you'd rather be doing, don't you?"

If it weren't for Ace being a member of Heartslabyul, Cater would be the most painfully obvious about his desire for you in the entire house. For someone who's mastered the art of concealing his true emotions, he sure isn't keeping any of them on the inside with his dirty texts and teasing remarks.

"Babyyyyy, you sure you have to head home tonight? We could always head to my place, watch a movie... Maybe get up to a little something-something?" He positively beams when you snort out a laugh, covering your face so he can't see how much he amuses you with his stupid come-ons and his eyebrow waggling.

100% Horny, 0% Tact. If Ace wants your touch, your mouth, your attention, you're gonna know about it. He has little to no shame about this kind of thing, and frankly he doesn't see why he should if the two of you are partners. He's also very handsy, so get used to getting felt up quite a bit.

"C'mooooon! You've been working on that all day!" He'll whine as he wraps his arms around your waist and barrels the two of you into the mattress with a cheeky grin. "What, you want me to beg for it? What if I make it real simple. You, me, we fuck now? Hm?"

Equal amount of horny as Ace, slightly more embarrassment about it. He wants you and he knows he wants you , and you probably already know he wants you too judging by just how wound-up he is. But every time he tries to steer things suavely in the right direction he feels like he's gonna choke on his own tongue. He'll usually end up hovering needily around you, being clingy and touchy without ever being able to properly use his words.

"Ah! S-Sorry!" He didn't even realize his hands were wandering further and further up your shirt while cuddling until you let out a soft chuckle, his fingers leaving ticklish trails along your sides. He's red up to the tips of his ears, but his hands don't retreat right away, not yet. "I'll stop! If, uh, if you want me to, I mean. Unless you don't want me to, then... Then I won't."

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst imagines #twst x reader #heartslabyul #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #cater diamond #ace trappola #deuce spade #riddle rosehearts x reader #trey clover x reader #cater diamond x reader #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #twisted wonderland smut #smut #my writing

[lovesickgolbach]

Words I didn't say 3 || LN4

Description: Things were different this time around.

Pairings: Lando Norris x Verstappen!reader

Warnings: none! actually, my dutch might be a liiiiiittle off so sorry about that, at least i tried :)

A/N: hello! hi! my writing style has DRASTICALLY changed so this fic is like 10x better quality than the other two so... oops. Maybe i'll rewrite them one day, maybe not. we'll see.

but for now- enjoy and thank you for reading <3

Part 1 , Part 2

A week had gone by since you and Max had your falling out, he had texted you but you had ignored them all by leaving him on read or just archiving the chat so that his name wouldn’t be on your screen every time you opened your phone.

You were deeply hurt by Max’s actions, not just because of the yelling, but because he accused you of lying. It hurt because he was your twin brother, literally your other half, he was your best friend and you know everything about each other (yes, everything). How he could accuse you of lying to him so easily just baffles you.

The thing is— Max knows how you feel about your father, he knows why you never initiate any sort of communication from your side with him, even though he’s at nearly every race weekend. You’ve accepted the fact that Max will always worship your father and you respect his decision not to completely cut him off, but you spoke with him about this and he knows to keep Jos away from you.

You sit on Lando’s couch, swimming in your thoughts as you stare at a message from Kelly, this was the first text she has sent you all week, not wanting to get between you and your brother’s drama. You sigh, locking your phone and tossing it to the side.

“Hey,” Lando speaks up as he walks into the apartment, looking sweaty and disheveled from his workout. You had to physically restrain yourself from not jumping on top of him. Things have been mostly normal between the two of you, the only thing that’s changed is that you aren’t dating anymore. You don’t sleep in his bed, you don't kiss or have sex or cuddle when you watch movies. You’ve been sleeping in the guest room since that night you showed up at his doorstep in tears.

“Hey,” you respond, shooting him a soft smile. “How was the workout?” You question, watching him as he refills his water bottle and taking a few sips. “It was alright, fucking hot but it was alright.” He flops down next to you on the couch, letting out a huff of air.

“Heard anything from Max?” he questions, looking over at you. You roll your eyes, “What do you think? Even Kelly is texting me now. Says he’s been quiet,” You shrug, shifting to cross your legs. Lando looks over at you, “He was at the gym, when I got there. He looks like shit, honestly. He did try talking to me, but I ignored him. I was sure he was almost in tears when I walked off.” His expression is neutral as he speaks, wanting to gauge your answer.

“Good.” Is all you say in response. Yeah, you feel bad for making your brother (who doesn’t like to get emotional) cry, but he had yelled at you and sent you into a full blown panic attack. He deserved to be upset. He deserved to be worried.

“Y/N—” Lando starts, but you cut him off by lifting your hand to silence him. “I am planning on going back to his place anyway, tomorrow. He’ll survive one more night.”

Lando just nods, before getting up. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Do you… want to talk after I’m done?” he questions, you just nod, “Yeah, we should talk, properly, I guess.”

He nods silently before making his way over to his bedroom and closing the door.

You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t.

But you do it anyway.

You jump up from the couch, running over to his room before opening the door, not bothering to knock. Lando lets out a surprised scream, standing in only his white boxers, trying to desperately cover himself up. “Y/N!? What are you—”

You cut him off with a kiss, smashing your lips together roughly, he instantly kisses back, his hands finding their way to your waist. You pull back after a moment, breathless and red-lipped from the kissing. You look into his eyes, those gentle blue-green eyes you fell in love with when you first looked at him.

“This is not me fully forgiving you… we need to— we need to discuss a few things still, but this is me telling you I still love you, I still want to be with you and— and I do love you, I still love you, I never stopped, Lando, But if— if we want us to work out, we can’t hide anymore, I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to kiss you in the paddock and sit in your garage, I want to hold your hand in public, I want to be known as your girlfriend.” Your words come out shaky, a few tears running down your face.

Lando nods rapidly, “Yes, yes anything you want, baby, anything. I won’t lose you again, I won’t. I’m so sorry, so so sorry.” He pulls you into a tight hug which you reciprocate immediately. You feel so safe with him. Your heart is his, it always has been.

“Do you… want to join me in the shower?” Lando asks, unsure of where your boundaries are set at this point in time. It’s not like he’s never seen you naked so you shrug, before pulling your top off.

“Why not,” You smile, taking his hand and dragging him into the bathroom.

–

The next day, Lando drives you back to your brother's place, parking in the driveway. You turn to him, kissing his cheek softly. “I think it’s better if i do this alone, okay? I will text you.”

Lando nods, giving you a reassuring smile. “You can do this, I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kiss him again quickly before walking to the front door and letting yourself in. Before you can even step a foot into the house you are nearly tackled to the ground by a little figure.

“Y/N!!!!!!” The little girl screeches, trying to practically climb her way up into your arms. “Hey sweet P!” You plaster on a smile, picking her up and hugging her tightly. God, you loved this little girl so much. “Missed you,” She mumbles into your neck and you can't help the sting you feel in your chest. You didn't think about her when you left, usually she would see you at least once or twice every week, your chest stings thinking about how she was probably waiting for you to visit but you never came.

“I missed you too,” You kiss her cheek as you make your way to the living room, where you found your brother, yelling into his headphones at whoever he was playing with.

You move so that you're in his field of vision, still cradling P against your chest. His head snaps up when he sees you.

“Y/N…” Max looks surprised to see you.

You place P down gently, “Go play upstairs and I will come play with you okay?” You smile brightly at the little girl who nods vigorously, making a beeline for the stairs.

“Do not run up the stairs Penelope!” Max yells after her, turning back to you before placing his controller down.

"Y/N…” He starts again but you shake your head, effectively cutting him off. “I do not want your excuses. Ik verdiende niet wat je me hebt aangedaan.” I did not deserve what you did to me.

Max looks down at his hands. “Jij bezit my niet,” You don't own me. You growled, feeling the same kind of anger you felt just a week prior. “You are my brother and that is it, I can do with my life what I want. You don't get to yell at me like Dad used to, you don't get to yell at me and expect me to just—” you vaguely gesture with your hands, “— crack and tell you everything.”

“En Max, hoe durf je me te beschuldigen van liegen!” And Max, how dare you accuse me of lying! Your voice came out as a low, calm growl. You take a deep breath, trying not to fucking combust on the spot.

Max is silent, but nods.

“Did you… did you… did you…have a panic attack? When you left?” He asks after a beat of silence, his eyes brimmed with tears. You know your brother isn't a crier, so this is hurting him just as much as it's hurting you. It’s gone too far.

"Yeah... I went straight to Lando's... I couldn't—" You shut your eyes, squeezing them together in an attempt to stop the tears. It's all become too much. It's all been blown way out of proportion.

You let your boyfriend and Max’s best friend get in the way of your relationship you have with your brother. The special bond you two had, has been damaged because of some stupid boy. You both were blinded, Max was blinded by his protectiveness of you and you were blinded by your loyalty to Lando.

You sigh, moving across the room to sit down next to him. You lay your head on his shoulder. “Why did you say I lied to you… I have never ever lied to you, Max.” Your voice was laced with pure hurt, your heart breaking from the beginning just thinking of Max accusing you of lying.

“I was just angry, Y/N. He promised to not hurt you and he did, he did hurt you and I was just so fucking angry, I could not believe you were defending him…”

Silence fell upon the room again, the only sound that could be heard was the rhythmic sniffling coming from you and Max. He laid his head against yours.

“Je leek zoveel op papa op dat moment. It was so scary, Max.” You looked so much like Dad in that moment. You let out a sob that you've been trying to suppress. Your brothers’ arm wraps around your shoulder's protectively.

“Het spijt me, Y/N, vergeef me alsjeblieft,” I am so sorry, Y/N, please forgive me. Max looks over to you, and all you can do is nod. It wouldn't help anyone if you just stayed angry, and you were exhausted anyways.

You just wanted things to go back to normal.

And slowly but surely they did, you had eventually moved back in with Lando, your relationship had slowly but surely gotten back to where it was, perhaps even better than it was. Max had been trying his best to not be overbearing, giving you space and trying not to play the role of an overprotective brother who gives his sister no freedom.

There was definitely still some tension between Max and Lando, Max still didn't fully trust him with you after everything, but things were different now. The public knew about your relationship now, girls no longer flung themselves at your boyfriend, touching him and feeling him up and down at every opportunity thinking he’s single. Lando had been working on proving himself, that he’s changed, that he's loyal to you and only you.

Things were different this time around.

Things have been good.

Things will get even better.

You can't wait to see what the future holds.

#f1 x you #formula 1 imagine #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #f1 imagine #formula1 x you #lando norris imagine #ln4 #lando norris fanfic

[coldresolve]

are you a torture apologist, or are you just dumb

... said with all the due diligence this subject warrants, etc etc. i’ve written posts about this before, it’s fallen on deaf ears, people either aggressively ignore it, or they go out of their way to take me in bad faith, and when the latter doesn’t work, they fall back on ye olde reliable: tone policing. but we’ve had that conversation too, haven’t we? it’s my culturally determined value of blunt honesty versus your culturally determined value of politeness. i express my opinions in a way that’s admittedly harsh and hyperbolic, and in so doing, my intention is to treat you like someone who is mature enough to distinguish my point from its delivery, and emotionally well-adjusted enough to deal with whatever the fuck some rando on the internet has to say about what you wrote. i also do it because its more fun this way. are we still cool? ffs lol

the thing is, right, it’s fucking easy not to write torture apologia. very straight-forward and simple, in my humble little opinion. you learn what the usual arguments are, and then you try to avoid accidentally making them – a bit like how, when you learn that white supremacy is a thing, you typically then go on to try and not write some wildly racist shit. same principle.

and i genuinely don’t understand why people are so opposed to this, specifically. they don’t know they’re doing it, which is fine, but then when you try to let them know they’re doing it, on the off-chance they even acknowledge that you said anything, they’ll hit you with an “its just for entertainment,” or “it’s not that deep.” so you tell them they sure seem to spend an awful lot of time weaving torture apologia into their vapid, shallow entertainment. and they don’t like that, jesus. but what else are you supposed to say?

i figure i just havent bullied people hard enough about it, honestly. and by bullied i mean pointing out the mindless use of torture apologia as plot points in the slop everybody writes. i would happily tell all of this directly to the writers of 24’s jack bauer, but those guys aren’t here, so.

you probably won’t be surprised to learn that the majority of the myths surrounding torture are rooted in facistic, reactionary thinking. might makes right is big among people who endorse corporal punishment; the ends justify the means is in play when governments try to excuse the use of t-, ahem, enhanced interrogation tactics. allegedly.

and among a much, much longer laundry list of bullshit i’ve seen spewed – oh, not by shady governments, but by you:

torture as an interrogation method yields reliable information

some forms of torture are more sophisticated than others

torture makes people obedient

torture used as a punishment deters unwanted behavior in others

brainwashing is a thing that is possible (usually through torture)

it’s not torture unless it leaves a physical mark on the body

see to me, it’s fucking easy to rework that scene in your story where torture results in the perpetrator gaining trustworthy intel. fucking easy to reconsider that arc where a character gets rewired by torture into passive obedience. fucking easy, when writing a story, to not accidentally send the message that torture is a tool that works. but hey, allow me to really dig my teeth in.

you drumming up your torturer as “skilled” in the “art” of torture feeds real nicely into the myth that torture works as an interrogation method, here under the condition that you should at least do it properly. is that what you believe? or do just believe that there’s an extra special way to cause extreme physical or emotional destress in a person which, for vague unspecified reasons, superceeds all the other, more amateurish ways one could go about it? the former would make you an direct torture apologist – the latter, a fucking twat. ask yourself why “some torture methods are more sophisticated than others” is an idea that needs to be perpetuated. who benefits from that idea? who would feel really validated by that idea? which government on this green earth of ours, hypothetically speaking, could use this idea as a way to paint their own acts of torture as more cultured or civilized than, say, hypothetically speaking, the torture used by those other nations where the brown people live? allegedly.

alternatively, your little good boy slave fantasy seems to imply that being subjected to torture will make a person obedient. is that what you believe? is it true that might makes right? say, wouldn’t state-sanctioned corporal punishment be justified as a tool to make people obey the law, then? no? okay, hear me out then, cause this is really out there, but. could the idea that violence is a tool that makes people more compliant with the demands of their aggressors, possibly maybe perhaps, be something you only find it acceptable to greenlight as the result decades of war propaganda? naaaaah. fiction isn’t reality, and it means nothing, and victims of torture are weak and malleable and broken, and also what they say can’t be trusted cause they have no real fucking agency anyway. fuck me.

“but elias,” i hear you say, “how am i supposed to write an interesting story that features torture in a way that’s in accordance with scientific consensus on its effectiveness and/or consequences? realism and compelling storytelling are diametrically opposed to one another!”

here’s my take: you just straight up lack creativity. cope and seethe.

if you’re interested in writing about torture, read up on what it is, instead of assuming everything you’ve been told by military-sponsored action movies is true and valid. we’re talking about some pretty extreme facets of human behavior and psychology here, but ones that none the less exist in reality. the bare minimun is to not buy in to the myths and propaganda surrounding it. the next step is to write what it can look like in reality. the big boy galaxy brain move is to write torture in a way that challenges the status quo on how we culturally view torture, and how all these false myths affect victims and perpetrators alike. you just have to fucking think about it.

torture for information doesn’t work – but your perpetrator might be convinced that it does. so instead of going the easy route and proving them right – explore how they're wrong. show torture failing. show your perpetrator’s desperation as they gain nothing. they conceptualize their actions as the lesser of two evils, but whoops, there is no second evil. hows that for a change?

is there such a thing as “torture lite?” does it make any real difference whether it leaves a physical mark behind or not? where do we draw the line between interrogation and torture? is that question not interesting enough for you?

is complying with demands under threat of torture the same as genuine obedience? maybe your victim is forced to pretend in certain ways, through feelings of absolute powerlessness. their survival is pitted against the guilt that comes from following the demands of their perpetrator/s. the sense that they’re betraying themselves, the hatred they feel against their aggressor for making them obey, which is otherwise completely uncharacteristic of them. they’re never reduced to a blank slate, there’s always an internal conflict. what if they reach a point where they have nothing left to lose? real torture makes people more defiant. human beings are amazing at adapting to impossible situations. how is that not a wicked fucking cool thing to explore?

brainwashing isn’t real, but your victim’s loved ones believe that it might be. this means that their attempts to talk about their complex feelings toward the more humane sides of their torturer, or recount moments of a strenuous mutual understanding, are met with vehement denial from the people who are supposed to facilitate their recovery. “don’t talk about him like that, he hurt you.” and a desperation to get people to understand that it’s just not that simple. they’re not just saying it because they’ve been brainwashed – people just aren’t black and white, torturers included. the way they feel compelled by the pressure of their loved ones to just… keep quiet about that aspect of their trauma.

here's a fun fact: not only is torture absolutely useless at everything it sets out to do, but rates of PTSD are equally high among victims and perpetrators. the latter is something called participation-induced post-traumatic stress, or perpetrator trauma. you see it in murderers, too. nobody talks about that. and i get it, it’s a touchy subject, we wouldn’t want to portray torture as something human beings do. but, and here’s my counter-argument: maybe reality is just messy and complicated. and maybe exploring that messy complicated reality in fiction can serve as something interesting and worthwhile. emotionally cathartic. no?

if you read up on torture in psychological studies, regarding the psychology of both victims and perpetrators – and possibly also read some sociological studies about how governments have used a lot of the myths i’ve mentioned about torture to excuse their own actions (allegedly) – you start to get an idea for just how comprehensibly it fucks with people, and how effective that propaganda machine has been. real life torture is not rare. torture will continue to not be rare as long as people believe in the idea that it is useful. so maybe it’s a good idea to approach the subject with a little bit of thought beforehand, you know? we could approach fictional depictions of torture with the same amount due diligence we take with the topic of rape or child abuse, instead of, you know, literally affirming all the myths that justify its use and then brushing off criticism like mine in that aggressively uncritical fiction-isnt-reality,-depiction-isn’t-endorsement,-zero-further-introspection way.

or whatever. maybe im just a big meanie, i must be fun at parties, etc

#inspired by 10k notes on my last rb proving there are sane ppl on this site. im starting this discourse again okay idc #im happily dying on the hill of 'maybe don't gargle the balls of US war propaganda in your whump fic' tbh #other #torture #media literacy #media criticism