#like yeah yeah i need therapy but i also need a job and an apartment and time alone. like i cant afford therapy when im trying to save money

[inkskinned]

i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.

i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.

what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.

so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.

and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.

and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.

#does this even MAKE SENSE!!!!! #writeblr #btw what im trying to express in that first sentence is EXPLICITLY the feeling of logging off therapy to immediately go back to work #like :) haha!

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 19. open up

chapter tags/warnings: dad! toji. angsty! megumi. strong language. classism. infidelity. manipulative undertones. naoya sucks ass.

word count: 3.6k

notes: thank you for waiting for this update! i was taking exams for some work-related licenses and started my big girl recently. i've also added more chapters to this series because i underestimated when i first planned out the fic. likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. enjoy! xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

“Can...we talk?” 

At first, Toji blinked.  

Naturally, he wasn’t sure how to react to such a situation: his client, who he had assumed avoided him for weeks, now standing at his apartment door? This was new.

He didn’t quite understand how or why you ended up here at this hour, but he forced a worried smile. “Yeah, of course, we can talk.”  

When you first tried to speak, your voice only came out as a hoarse croak. So you had to clear your throat, and you forced words to come out again. 

“I’m sorry,” you managed to eke out.  

“Sorry?” Toji raised a brow in surprise. “For what?”  

Hesitating, you bit gently at your inner cheek. “If I tell you, can you please promise me you won’t get mad? Or judge me? I’m just...looking for someone to talk to, and I really, really need you to promise me.” 

In hindsight, that was a stupid question because you both knew that listening was his job, his profession, his field of expertise. Even with the minimal information Toji had gathered in these few seconds, he probably began piecing together your story on his own already. He was good like that—that was what made him your therapist, so there was no need to sugarcoat anything when he already read right through you. 

Still, Toji eased you with a sturdy nod. “Sure. I promise.” 

You didn’t even know where to start in this apology, frankly. You were sorry for doubting him, sorry for ignoring all the red flags he had pointed out about your husband Naoya Zenin. In the end, you were sorry for being so fucking stupid.  

The first time Toji had warned you about Naoya, you should have listened. Toji was the expert here, so how blind could you have been? There was nothing like the crushing realization when you realized for yourself that winning your husband back was nothing more than a pipe dream.  

Far before marrying you, Naoya had long loved someone else. Sure, ‘love’ may be a strong word, but why else would Naoya never want to be home? He could hardly find interest in you and became revolted when looking your way. He must have felt so wrong, so immoral, when cheating on his side-girlfriend for his wife.  

The way Naoya had spoken to you tonight just rubbed salt into the wound. Just shut up. Know your boundaries. Because you were just, in his words, a fucking ornament.  

His mistress sure wasn’t, though, and anyone could place the winning bet that he had gone off to spend the night with her.  

Why were you not enough? 

Was it because she was pretty and you were ugly? That she was smart and you were dumb? That she was funny and you were dull? Just...why? What was the reason? 

And, through thick swallows and blinked-back tears, you told Toji all of that.  

In one gusto, you have once again dumped all your troubles upon his shoulders. A horrible person, that was what you were—and knowing this, your gaze stayed low.  

From your rambling onslaught, Toji must be processing a lot but gave away no emotional indication. From his years at work, he probably had heard it all. 

You waited for Toji to retort with a pompous ‘I told you so!’ or burst into a disdainful laugh—that was how Naoya would have responded. But those reactions never came.  

On the contrary, Toji tapped his chest. “Come here.”  

You frowned over at him, brushing a stray tear from your chin. “What?” 

“Just get over here.”  

When you still wavered with reluctance, Toji pulled you tight against him—one hand firmly pressed against your lower back as the other guided your face to nestle by his shoulder.  

Not expecting this, you were initially stiff and awkward in his arms. Toji’s chest was hard and muscled rather than comfortable, chiseled from his frequent strength training sessions at the gym. But when he began to rub slow circles at your waist with one hand, the other running up and down your back in gentle strokes, something about these little gestures let all your emotions go. 

Slowly, you brought your arms up to wrap around him, hugging him in response. He was warm, his body like a furnace that heated your skin. You curled your hands into tight fists, grabbing the fabric of his T-shirt along with your hold.  

Then, like floodgates bursting, you melted into Toji with a sob.  

“What have I done wrong?” you wailed. “Why can’t I do anything right? What do I even do from here?” 

Toji listened silently as you continued to bawl, releasing all your anger and pain from the terrible weeks that you had endured. He squeezed you the tightest when you sobbed the loudest, comforting you with his ‘there there’ hums. 

“Everything will be okay,” he affirmed eventually, but his words seemed so difficult to believe. 

“No! Everything won’t be okay, Toji,” you cried and shook your head into his neck. “My husband doesn’t want me. Then, if Naoya doesn’t want me, the Zenins wouldn’t want me. Then, no one will want me!” 

“Not true,” Toji was quick to say. He pulled you closer, his large hands patting your upper back too. “Forget Naoya, he’s an utter jerk. He might leave you, but you know who won’t? At the very least, your father won’t—he loves you.” 

“But I would have disappointed him.” 

“How?” he countered sharply. “If he had known how his son-in-law was treating his daughter, why would your father be disappointed in you?” 

Between sniffles, you ruminated his points, half-convinced. 

Toji, breathing out, then added, “Also...I won’t leave you, either. I care about you. There. You’ve already got two on your side. You will not be alone.” 

“But then, what about,” you kept your lips pressed onto his collarbone, “What about the Zenins? Would they turn their backs on me too?” 

Underneath your fingertips, you could feel Toji tensing at the name. “With a family so large, there are bound to be those supporting you as well. You make it sound like all his aunts, his uncles, his...,” he paused briefly, “...his cousins, all worship Naoya when a household like that is rife with drama beneath surface level. Family isn’t family for something like the Zenins. Politics comes first. Business comes first.” 

His answer came out with such confidently that you silently questioned how he could be so sure. 

But you suddenly remembered the kind embraces from Mai and your heart softened at the thought of Maki. 

Maybe Toji was right. 

A soundless sigh flew from your mouth before your arms tightened around Toji's torso, hugging him and resting your chin on his shoulder. After several moments longer, you finally released one long exhale, your tears having stopped and your breathing less erratic. 

Your heart was like lead in your chest, but you pulled your face away from him.  

“I’m sorry,” you rasped, throat raw. “My makeup got onto your shirt.”  

Toji’s smile was soft. 

“That’s fine.” He couldn’t give a damn about his white top. Reassuringly, he ran his hands along your waist before settling on your hips, thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. “As long as you are feeling better, that’s all I need. Besides, that’s my job, yes?” 

“Yes...” you mumbled shyly, wiping tears from your face with the heel of your hand.  

At the sight, Toji reached toward a tissue box behind the door frame.  

“Don’t cry anymore. Naoya isn’t worth the heartache, I’ll guarantee you that.” He dabbed at your pretty face with the napkin in his hands, wiping away not only the remaining tears but also the stream of snot. Lovely. “I am your friend, okay? Before the therapist stuff. We will fix this, together. That’s what friends are for.” 

Friends. 

When Toji first called him your friend, you did not think that he would somehow become your closest confidant. 

You leaned into his touch briefly, sinking into the comfort of his palm. 

“Feeling better, princess?”  

Toji watched you with a chartreuse glimmer in his eyes before you finally pulled yourself from his grasp. His fingers flexed at the lost touch, almost like he was hesitant to let you go, but who was he to stop you? It wasn’t like Toji was your husband or anything. 

"I am,” you replied. “Thank you.” 

“Any time.” He hummed in the ensuing silence before stepping to the side. “Since you’re already here, why don’t you come in? I wouldn’t want you going back like this. Naoya won’t be home, so at least you will have some company here.”  

Tempting. 

“I really shouldn’t stay...” 

“What? Are you sure?” 

No, you were not sure, and Toji sure as hell knew that. 

He lolled his head toward the interior, a few of his black strands sliding across his forehead with the movement.  

“C’mon, I won’t bite,” he reassured before chuckling, “unless...you want me to.” 

You shot the therapist a glare, but the resolve to stay upset faded when you saw him gleam with a wide smirk. Well? that mischievous spark in him seemed to say. What do you think?  

Rolling your eyes, you initially snorted at the offer but could not help smiling at the stupid joke immediately afterward. Your body crumpled forward as you burst into giggles, realizing that this was the first time in weeks that you were...laughing?  

“Fine,” you relented. 

Toji seemed to beam in silent victory, which was cute coming from someone who looked so tough. He swept his arm in a gentle arc toward his apartment. 

“Then, after you, m’lady.”  

You gusYou gushed at the title.

"If you insist,” and you stepped in.  

The warmth from his condo was the first to greet you as though a fireplace had been crackling in the distance. For someone who somehow had the means to afford such a luxurious space, Toji went simple in his furnishings. His cream-colored walls were cleared, save for some framed art pieces that dotted the corridors, and there were no ornate cabinets or dazzling décor. His taste in minimalism and timelessness contrasted with the grandeur in your palatial-like residence, but both styles had their appeal. 

He had a gray and beige color scheme going on with the couches, the tabletops, and the lighting fixtures. The walnut wood flooring added a rustic touch to the apartment, and every corner effortlessly converged refined aesthetics with the sense of home. Even the smell inside was cozy because the apartment emanated of him—of Toji himself: spices with the redolence of bergamot and sage.   

He guided you through a (very wide) hallway that opened into an equally expansive living room. Towards the side was a spiral staircase that led to an upper floor and, further ahead, floor-to-ceiling windows opened to an evening panorama.  

The sky was completely dark, with the sun sunk below the horizon long ago, and the waxing moon hung like a silver sliver far away. Holding your breath, you stepped towards the glass, observing the bustle far below that twinkled like firecrackers against the concrete backdrop.  

“You know, your place...is a lot nicer than I expected.” 

The man tucked his large hands into his front pockets. “I’m offended.”  

Instantly, you grew flustered. “No, I didn’t mean it like that!” (Yes, you totally did.) “It’s just that Sukuna had made it sound like—” That you were dirt poor. “But then Geto said...” Okay, you shouldn’t be dragging more people into this. “Never mind.” 

Quickly, you glanced back outside again, hoping to look like you were distracted by the vista. 

“But then Sukuna and Geto said what?” Toji pried, not letting you live this down. He appeared uncharacteristically intrigued. He wanted to know what his coworkers had spilled, by how much you knew. “What have the other therapists said about me?” 

“Ah, nothing much really,” you confessed, which was the truth to some extent.  

“How much is ‘nothing much?’” 

“Just, well,” you rolled your lips together in thought, “maybe that something, some event, or some person wronged you.” Geto’s words rang fresh in your head. “That ‘Toji just isn’t where he could possibly be.’” 

Half-expectantly, you looked over at the said man from under your lashes, waiting for him to comment on the matter. Toji always appeared so hesitant to talk about his past, but you hoped that he would stop being so mysterious. It was as though he was an enigma for cautious reasons, assessing how much he could open up before he could entirely trust you. 

Toji had pursed his lips as the silence in the living room became uncomfortable. But just when he appeared ready to speak, someone else filled the silence for him. 

“Why the hell are you here?” 

All heads turned to a frowning teenager who stood by the foot of the stairs.  

He had dark eyes—dark eyes glared only at you, narrowed into a violent abyss as though he was mentally aiming daggers into your soul. For a fleeting moment, you were puzzled at who this boy was until Toji spoke first. 

“That’s no way to greet a guest, Megumi.”  

Oh, right. Toji had an eighteen-year-old son, and Megumi was his name. While you had spoken with the teenager on the phone before, it was different to see him in person for the first time. 

For starters, the physical similarities between father and son became immediately apparent. Sure, Toji’s features had a rough edge around them—shaped from his additional years in life—but the two shared the same black stands, pointed noses, and taut lips. There was no denying the flawless genes that flowed between them. 

Megumi, though, had a subtle softness to him. The teenager was smaller and shorter compared to his imposing and rugged father, but he tried to mask that youthful innocence instead with his brash style. He pulled off that ‘wild’ look better than most boys his age could, his hair longer and more tousled. The way he stood in a contrapposto, coupled with how stylish he appeared in his fuchsia tee and black cargo pants, made him look like a model from a streetwear magazine. He reached for an ear piercing with fingers adorned with flashy rings, toying with one particular stud as he examined you.  

Goodness, Megumi Fushiguro was as good-looking as Sukuna had hyped him up to be.  

“Well?” the boy’s irritated voice snapped you back to the present. “What are you doing at our apartment?” 

“Oh, me?” You pointed to yourself. Well, no shit. Who else was he talking to? “I, um—” 

“You’re another one of my dad’s women, aren’t you?” the teenager asked out of the blue, leaving you staring at him dumbly. 

“One of your dad’s who?” 

“Hey!” Toji warned, tone sharp. Frowning at the boy, he reprimanded him with one forceful thwack. Dad Toji was very different than Therapist Toji. “Watch what you—" 

“You’re the one who called me down here!” Megumi shouted back, pushing his father’s arm away.  

“Yes, I did. So what took you ten minutes to get here?” 

“I was in the middle of Valorant. I left my team mid-game but for this?” 

And suddenly, there was this thick and awkward tension that engulfed the room. If you had the magical ability to teleport at will, you would. Toji was obviously distraught at his son’s outburst and Megumi was similarly bristled by your presence.  

About you? Well, there wasn’t anything you could do. 

You took a few steps back. It was unsettling to be caught in a heated confrontation between father and son, and you silently wondered if you should just slip away to let those two sort out their miscommunications. 

“So, this is your new strategy, huh?” Megumi seethed vehemently toward his father, capitalizing upon the silence. “Telling me that Nobara and Yuuji are here only for you to introduce me to, out of everyone in this world, her?!”  

The attack felt personal when Megumi raised his arm and pointed squarely at you, even if the boy glowered at his dad instead. You had frozen, stopped by confusion, as Megumi continued in anger: “What is the meaning of this!” 

Toji, who was returning his son’s glare, glanced at you briefly. He didn’t show this side to him very often: the one where he was just a single dad, handling a moody teenage son at home.  

You wondered if Toji felt weird that you were watching him deal with Megumi’s tantrum. At least, he must be embarrassed that this was how your first encounter with Megumi was going, but he didn’t offer much into his internal dialogue because he clenched his teeth, his eyes sliding slowly to his son again.  

“Megumi,” Toji started, “please...don’t point at people. That’s not nice.” 

His voice was sterner than before, but the boy responded with a dramatic scoff. 

“Nice?!” Megumi repeated. “You want me to be nice to her? Is this some sick joke?!” His face twisted with disbelief. “With all the horrible crap that had happened to us, what good thing has she ever done? Just because she’s pretty, and suddenly, you’ve forgiven her for everything?” 

You blinked, stumped. 

Forgive you? 

Why would Toji need to forgive you? 

Perplexed, you turned to Toji but he did not meet your gaze. 

“There is nothing to forgive her for. She hasn’t done anything wrong,” the older man defended, but Megumi wanted to hear none of this. 

He was out for blood. 

“That’s because you’re too fucking infatuated to see the demon she is,” he huffed, voice laced with bitterness. “Dad, I wish you would put your goddamn brain to use and stop thinking with your dick first.”  

“Language!” Toji snapped with a roar. “She’s our friend!” 

“Friend, my ass! I don’t like your fucking friends!”  

With eyes blown wide, Megumi clenched his fists so tightly that his hands began to shake.  

“I just...I just can’t believe you,” and when his voice cracked, there was pain that bubbled from the frustration. “I already told you that I don’t want to meet whoever you are bringing home. Just stop trying so hard for my sake. This hurts me, and this also hurts you. Can’t you see that, Dad? Nothing’s going to bring Mom back! I’m over that, alright?” His Adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped, though, before he finally added: “And I’m tired!” 

At that, Megumi walked—correction, stormed—away. 

“Fuck this shit,” he spat and marched up the stairs, grumbling more profanities upon his climb. 

The footsteps’ volume started to fade, but not before a loud bang startled you when Megumi slammed his bedroom door shut, the entire apartment seemingly shuddering with the sound. 

Beside you, the Toji that you had always known—the snarky man who always seemed so unruffled by even the wildest moments—crumbled a little when he sighed. He rubbed his face with a free hand, sinking his forehead into his palm as he muttered indiscernibly. 

He collected himself he turned back around to you, but you saw that his shoulders sagged with an invisible weight, the emerald glimmer in his eyes now a dim flicker. Within ten minutes, Toji had grown to look stressed and incredibly tired. 

“Hey,” Toji started, his voice impossibly small for a man as large as him. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry that you had to see that. He’s usually a good kid. I’ll talk to him again later.” 

You bit your lip.  

“Oh, um...Well...That’s okay,” you eventually replied, which was a total lie because that was not okay. Even as you offered a small smile for support, Megumi—his words, his tone, his ferocious glare—slashed at your heart. You rationalized his behavior aloud to ease your own pain. “Megumi’s eighteen, and you know what teenagers are like: hormonal with their mood swings all the time. You are a great father, Toji. This isn’t your fault.” 

“No. This is my fault,” he replied very quickly.  

Oh. So instead you said: “I get it.” 

“Except you don’t get it.”  

Your heart sank at his words, realizing that you truly did not understand where this father-son conflict stemmed from. Was it...was it because of you? 

You never intended to burden anyone, yet your mere existence appeared to be doing just that. 

It was painful to see Toji like this. During your lowest lows, he always offered considerable comfort and renewed confidence, but you weren’t sure what to say to provide him with the same. By some weird twisted fate, Toji now needed you more than you needed him. As a therapist, he had a special soothing effect, and never have you so badly wished for the same. 

“Then,” this time you were more careful with your words, “Then, help me understand. Help me so that I can then help you.”  

Tone resolute, you longed to learn about the unspoken difficulties that Toji had been facing by himself. While you had your troubles, he must have had many more for his son—not even Toji himself—to act this way.  

Perhaps you also cared for him more than you thought because, as he noted himself, he’s your friend. 

Toji held a long inhale, thinking and thinking and thinking, before breathing out in one audible go.  

“Where do I even start?” 

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: I loved fleshing out our relationship with Toji from a channel to mutually release sexual frustrations to a friendship built upon shared vulnerabilities. Also, Megumi is very much in his emo and rebellious teenage era. Like most people his age, he has his reasons…

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#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jjk smut #jjk season 2 #toji x reader #toji x y/n #toji x you #naoya x you #geto x reader #choso x reader #sukuna x reader #toji #naoya #geto #sukuna #choso #megumi #jjk toji #toji fushiguro #megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #anime #anime fanfic #anime angst #anime fluff #anime smut #fanfic #fanfiction

[pink-bandana-writes]

No Good, Very Bad Day

Raphael x Reader

Prompt: Perhaps, reader has been stressed and he wants to help them feel better. Even better if it’s a friends to lovers trope where they are just friends in the beginning but this changes the nature of their relationship.

Note: I also love the friends to lovers trope! Confession fics are among my faves. I hope you like it! Ignore the title, it’s very fluffy, reader is just going through it lol.

Warnings: swears

Word Count: 1.1k

Reader is: Female-ish. (one use of the word girlfriend, but that’s it lmao)

It had been one hell of a stressful day. For starters, your insurance had fucked up your therapy. Your landlord still hadn’t fixed your broken showerhead. One of the customers at work had been an asshole, and it really put you in a bad mood. Add to that the lingering Facebook request from your ex and yeah……just not the best day.

So, a little storm cloud seemingly hovering over your head, you sat in your apartment, wrapped in a blanket, wearing your comfiest pair of pajamas. You had some snacks on the coffee table, and you were playing one of your favorite video games on your Switch, hoping to get your mind off of the everything, even if only for a little while.

After a while of sitting there alone, you heard a tap on your window. It was too soft to be a rogue pigeon forgetting what glass was, so it meant one of four things. However, when you approached, you quickly realized who it was crouched just outside your fire escape.

You pulled open the window and helped Raphael inside. He came to hang out sometimes, but you hadn’t been expecting him.

“Hey, Red. What’s going on?”

“Nothin’, just on patrol. Quiet night.” He shrugged. It took him a second, but once he got a better look at you, he could tell something was wrong. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just…it’s been a really long day.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in—”

“No! No, Raph, seeing you has actually been the best part of my day so far.”

His look of panic faded, replaced instead with a warm smile. “Alright, so how am I makin’ you feel better right now? What problems I gotta fix?”

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to.” He assured you, tilting his head. “So let’s get to work.”

You walked over to the living room and told him everything that was going on.

“Well first of all, that asshole at work can get fucked. It’s not yer job to fix all of his problems.”

You laughed, nodding. “I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

“I can take a look at yer showerhead if ya want. And you’re always welcome to take showers down in the lair if ya gotta.” He assured you. “I didn’t even know it was broken.”

“It’s usable, but it’s barely a trickle coming out of it.”

“Mmm, gotcha. Well, I’ll see what I can do. We can call Donnie and see if he’s got any parts we could use in the meantime. And I can totally have him yell at ya insurance guy, too. He’s real good at that, knows all the legal mumbo jumbo.” Raph walked through all of your problems, and, as he always seemed to, he made you feel a lot better about everything.

“Thank you, Raph.” You told him sincerely, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Aww, shorty, no need for tears. I’ll take care of ya. I always will.” He promised, gathering you in his big strong arms, one of his large hands stroking through your hair comfortingly.

Something clicked then, while he was holding you. You’d always had a bit of a crush on Raph, admittedly. Who wouldn’t? He was big and strong and brave, loyal to a fault, and always willing to fight for you, no matter the cost. He was…well, he was everything you were looking for, honestly. He always had been.

The two of you split. Raph went to work on your showerhead while you ordered a pizza and texted Donnie about your insurance fiasco. Once the pizza arrived and the shower was more or less fixed, the two of you settled on the couch again, putting on a movie and enjoying each other’s presence.

Maybe it was because you felt like you had nothing to lose after the day you’d had, or maybe you were finally coming to your senses, but you looked at Raphael and stated with certainty, “You know, you’d be a really great boyfriend, Raphael.”

He froze for a long moment before chuckling sheepishly. “Yeah? What gave you that impression?”

“I don’t know, you’re just…you’re the best. I really don’t know what I’d do without you in my life and…I don’t want to know.”

His eyes were wide, heart racing so loudly, he was sure you could hear it from where you were sitting. “W-what are ya saying?”

“I like you, Raph. I have for a while. But if you don’t feel the same, nothing has to change. I’m okay with this, too.”

Raph set down his pizza and stared at you like a third eye had sprouted on your forehead. “You’re bein’ serious right now?”

“Of course I am. Why?”

“Well, I just…” He rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling. “I mean, look at me. You’re…You actually like me? Do ya need your eyeballs checked?”

“Of course I like you! Who wouldn’t?”

He scoffed. “Imma need you to elaborate on that.”

“Well for starters, you’re six-foot-five, super muscular, super handsome, but beyond that…you’re sweet. You’re kind, you’re a good listener, and you’re downright gentle when you want to be. You’re protective and brave and the most loyal and loving person I’ve ever met. You make me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever met and I know that no matter what happens to me, you’ll always be there for me. Hell, you took the worst day I’ve had in a while and turned it around in twenty minutes.”

He stared at you for a long moment, kind of in shock. He forced a laugh so he didn’t burst into tears on the spot. “You’ve been keeping all of that tucked away in that pretty little head of yours?”

“Yep.” You shrugged, unsure of what else to say.

“You actually like me.” He stated, letting the pieces click. “See, just when I was starting to think my giant crush on you was hopeless…” He let out a little disbelieving laugh. “Holy shit.”

“So can I like kiss you now or…?”

Raph leaned over, crushing his lips to yours, cherishing the taste of them as your arms wound around his neck, tugging him closer to you. Raph pulled you into his lap, strong arms wrapping around your frame, your chest pressed to his. The way he kissed you left you breathless, and when you finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against yours, searching your eyes for any sign of disgust, but only finding love.

“Ya know, I think Mikey’s gonna be pissed I’m the first one to get a girlfriend.”

“And Casey’s gonna owe April like twenty bucks.” You said, causing him to laugh.

“So…ya still think I’m gonna be a good boyfriend.”

You nodded, pressing another soft kiss to his lips. “The best, in fact.”

Taglist: @thelaundrybitch, @turtle-babe83, @dilucsflame33, @happymoonangel

#raphael x reader #raphael #raph #raph x reader #tmnt aged up #tmntagedup #tmnt #bayverse #bayverse tmnt #tmnt imagines #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016

[mvltisstuff]

Hi, i hope you’re doing well! 🫶

I was wondering if you could write a fic with Evan Buckley x reader where she gets caught up in the car accident of 4x09 (blindsided) like Albert was and is in a wheelchair due to it and buck helps her with her physical therapy recovery etc. Lots of angst, anger, heartbreak but also fluff pls. (If possible) 🫶🤍

thank you!! ❤️‍🩹

medicine - e.b

summary: request :)

evan buckley x reader

a/n: i got this request too, so i decided to combine the two, hope that’s ok 🩶

the accident had severely limited y/n’s mobility. a spinal injury left her ridden to a wheelchair, unsure if she’d be able to ever move the way she was before. the constant back and forth to doctors appointments and several surgeries after the collision had completely blew out the flame in her mind, leaving only ash and a lack of hope.

buck tries to be there, but it brings him back to his own accident. the fire engine laying on top of him, not being able to move without feeling excruciating pain. he was intolerable afterwards. he went as far as suing the city to get back to his job. he could imagine how y/n was feeling, but he couldn’t fully understand. pushing herself would only make it worse, but she couldn’t stop. every single day was an active fight against her own body, the body she felt was betraying her.

she relives the moment the cars clashed together the whole day. a lot of people might force it out of their mind, but she made sure she remembered all the small details of it. the pain, the thoughts, the sirens, the broken car pieces. the worst part about it was having zero answers to her end result. it was bad, there was no denying that. she couldn’t walk on her own, let alone stand up by herself and successfully hold herself. so, she relied on buck.

he helped her move, wheeled her around, took her to her appointments, and told her not to worry about work. she was born to be a first responder. she’s been dreaming about it since she hit middle school, knowing exactly what she wants to do. she felt like she was drowning in a pit of people who needed to be saved. alas, she couldn’t do a single thing about it.

“y/n, c’mon, you have to eat,” buck tries to coerce her into a few bites, but she just pushes them around in the food box. he wanted to help her so bad, to give her the world, but she couldn’t accept it in the state she was in. she saw the pity looks from everyone, knowing that it wasn’t her fault this happened to her. “listen, i get it-“

“you do, buck? you think you understand but it’s completely different.”

“honey, just hear me out for a minute. you saw me at my worst. blood clots and surgeries and all.”

“i cannot stand up on my own. i cannot drive my car. i cannot shower. i cannot leave my apartment without someone pushing me out of it. i cannot use the fucking bathroom. this is not at all the same.”

“i’m not going to let you ruin yourself the way i almost did,” he looks her dead in the eye, trying to give her a slice of reality through the grief and panic she’s feeling.

“yeah, you just abandoned everyone you love so you could go back to work,” her words sting in bucks chest, mentioning his worst regrets. the way he acted during that time was nothing but sadness for himself. buck excused himself, y/n wishing she could do the same but she was confined on the first floor. he shut the bathroom door lightly behind him. his hands were pressed against his face, pushing the tears in his eyes back so y/n didn’t see him cry.

maybe it’s just a bad day, he thought. he prayed it was just a bad day. and he prayed that the rest of their days wouldn’t be bad ones as well.

it was weeks after weeks that y/n had been fighting this battle toward improvement. it felt like everything she did was one step forward and two steps back. was it really worth it?

losing the movement of your legs was almost equal to losing someone. you rely on someone forever, for them to just vanish in the blink of an eye. before you can even think and certainly before you can say goodbye. nothing can prepare you for the grief of either of these situations.

even on days that buck had to return to work, carla had come over. she was driving y/n places, taking her out and picking up her prescriptions. physical therapy had been paying off, the exercises and treatments they’d done had been regaining her strength quickly.

“when can i get back to work?”

“y/n, we spoke about this,” her doctor said. they’d talked about how she wouldn’t be back for a long time, needing to completely heal before she returned. if she returned. she shook her head and looked down. “you have to give your body time.”

“it’s had time. it’s been months and months of waiting and i’m finally starting to make some advances.”

“you are, but healing from an injury this severe is going to take a long time. spinal injuries are insanely serious and you have to treat it like that.”

the drive home was silent. she made no attempts to speak to the kind-hearted woman in the drivers seat. helping her in and out of her chair, she sat on the couch and sat there, looking at the walls of her apartment with buck. when he finally arrived home after his shift, he spotted her on the couch.

“hey,” he says, placing his stuff down on the counter. “how was your day?” she doesn’t reply, so he waits a few seconds.

“i cant go back to work for a long time.”

“i know.”

“i cannot do this, buck. i need my job,” buck moves over to crouch in front of her, sitting on the table in front of the couch.

“y/n, you have so much stuff in your life that will give you a meaning. you will never be defined by your physical abilities. this is not your fault.”

“it is completely my fault!” her eyes water. “i build my strength up every day for nothing in return! i haven’t pushed myself but it’s not getting me any further and i am worth nothing if i can’t handle this.”

bucks heart breaks at each word escaping from her lips. her beautiful soul had been picked at and teased by her own body, and it felt like the world was laughing at her. everyone looked at her the same. if not in a better light. he wanted her to know that she still shines, even if she’s in a wheelchair.

“i’ve been trying so hard and it will never be enough, will it?”

“look at me, right now,” buck forces. “you will forever be enough. i know they say time heals all wounds but forget that shit, ok? you will always be healing from this. it’s a matter of what stage your healing in. you’re not taking too long. you have your whole life waiting for you, and you are enough.”

“no,” she peeps out, shaking her head in his hands. he nods in response.

“yes. yes, baby, you are enough.”

“buck, stop,” she tries to pick his hands away from her.

“you are enough,” he replies. “and i’m not stopping until you believe it.”

her wet eyes physically cannot pull them away from his own, seeing nothing but pure love and admiration for her reflecting in them. she leans forward, not being able to help herself from the urge she feels to kiss him.

“i’m so sorry, buck. i’m so, so sorry, i put you through hell, and oh my god,” she’s hyperventilating her words out, worrying buck as he tries anything to calm her down. “oh my god, this fucking sucks.”

“i know, just breathe,” he sits next to her, pulling her in and swinging her legs over his. “honey, you have to breathe for me, ok?”

she staples her eyes on his, locking them and not moving until she calms down. her heartbeat begins to slow again, and her choppy inhales start to fall back into a normal rhythm.

“i love you so much,” she speaks out softly to him while playing with his fingers.

“i love you no matter what, y/n,” he replies. “and my heart will never stop beating for you.”

the night sky had rolled in, and the noise outside had quieted to a few cars on the highway now and then. for the first time since before her accident, y/n felt safe, and finally was feeling enough.

#911 #911onfox #bobby nash #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buckley fanfic #athena grant #henrietta wilson #evan buck buckley x reader #evan buckley x reader #evan buck buckely #evan buckley one shot #evan buckley x y/n #evan buckley fanfiction #evan buckley angst #evan buckley fluff #evan buckley fic #maddie buckley #may grant #howie han #chimney han

[georgies-ftts]

my thoughts and opinions on this weeks episode as someone who didn’t have time to watch last weeks episode, has never watched live american telly before and has discovered a new found hatred for your adverts. Also i swear a lot.

let’s begin

(spoilers obviously don’t be a knob)

1. he cannae be captain he’s only got two stripes on his epilette why are we focusing so much on this man

2. Bobby eyeing up that gun I like that (the acting)

3. this guy is giving me uncanny valley and i don’t like it

4. hehe dongle

5. i mean fair enough… in and out just like he said

6. Hen love of my life where the hell have you been loca

7. “and you won’t be anymore either” that’s actually dead funny to me

8. husbands that saw together survive trauma together <3

9. “everyone survived” i know foreshadowing when i see it

10. there’s a lot of drunk driver hatred (as deserved) somethings gonna occurr

11. oh he’s dead… lol karma fuckhead

12. Hen, i love you but why can noone on telly give me actual realistic CPR… break them ribs girl

13. christ these american adverts are weird

14. let me tell you advertising prescription medicine isn’t actually a normal thing to do

15. I don’t know boss man am no a dr but that’s an awful lot of blood are you sure you should still be breathing????

16. “Are you happy” “Yeah, Yeah I am” i have a feeling that’s all about to change buddy

17. just me or can anyone else not see a fucking thing that’s going on this episode why’s everyone in the dark for?

18. moving on from that i love the lighting in the office scene… chefs kiss

19. EXCUSE ME SHE WAS DOING HER JOB, NEXT YOU’LL SUSPEND HER FOR CODLING THE DRUNK DRIVER AND GIVING HIM TEA AND CHEEK KISSES PISS OFFFFF

20. Why do American comm’s systems always fail whenever you actually need them

21. They were axed to pieces. I will let you off -_- this time…

22. “I didn’t shoot him” honestly… same i hope you get yer pay out boss

23. Athena please for the love of god pop a paracetamol or a codeine and chill the fuck out

24. cause it has never been hard enough for them you just had to add a bastard bomb

25. ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES WHY MORE ADVERTS

26. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ADVERTISING TO YOUR CITIZENS

27. The Rookie ad i love it carry on

28. If he wasn’t under the influence then he was just being a cunt and hen had every right to react as such thankyou very much

29. Oh my fuck what is happening - don’t tear them apart i’ll start crying

30. Bitch you’re taking on water stop being a pussy and help

31. “Don’t test me.” Queen, you rag his arse

32. “port stabilisers are gone” surely you should be tilting like a bitch right now or did i miss a frame

33. MORE FUCKING ADVERTS????

34. why’s that lizard from london?

35. WHY ARE YOU ADVERTISING DEMENTIA MEDICATION THAT IS LITERALLY ADVERTISED ALSO AS A DEATH PILL WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMA AND DEATH THATS NOT HELPING

36. “i didn’t save him either” he quite literally refused your help despite being detained

37. didn’t get that SS Menow reference… try the Mayflower next time

38. “Saving the ship” “course she is” GIVE THEM ONE MOMENT OF PEACE PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

39. okay good they are tilting like a bitch i will shut my mouth

40. NO STOP TILTING LIKE A BITCH I DONT CARE ABOUT REALISM I TAKE IT BACK NO

41. HOW MANY MORE ADVERTS DO YOU NEED

42. i don’t know but all your meds just seem to be doing the opposite of.. you know… keeping you alive.

43. woah therapy flash back get me one of those

44. you forgot to mention imminent death in your therapy session Mr Sir

45. “We did what we had to do” YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LIVE TOO.

46. “I couldn’t save my first family and I can’t save you either” and what if that was my last straw Robert Nash

47. ABC you can tone down the writing now i’m fucking sobbing

48. FUCK YOU AUSTRALIAN MAN I WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT

49. glad the us also have those Haribo ads

50. first time in my almost 20 years of life where i’ve seen an ADVERT for ANTIDEPRESSANTS that also actively make you MORE DEPRESSED

51. Hen i knew you were slaying you’ve never not slayed <3

52. no need for it was there mr boss man? no didn’t think so

53. You have no jurisdiction past the Gulf of Mexico??? ummmm??? distressed cruise ship full of your citizens???? idk??? do something????

54. oh. welp. no surviving that one, have fun with poseidon my loves

55. i don’t know about you but once i’ve been capsized like that in anything bigger than a kayak im giving up…

#911 series #911 abc #911 show #911 fox #911 spoilers #911 7x02 #athena grant #bobby nash #911 bobby #911 athena #911 hen #henrietta wilson #evan buck buckely #911 evan buckley #911 eddie #eddie diaz #911 chimney #chimney han #911 maddie #maddie buckley #bathena #bobby x athena

[voidandabyssal]

My Horrortale brothers HCs!

horror sans = axe

horror papyrus = crooks

Axe:

much like the actual horrortale comic, Monsters resorted to eating human flesh in order to survive, in my HC, this includes Sans. Years of despreation and hunger eventually drive him to start eating the humans he hunts.

Axe used to feel guilt, at least in the beginning. Once Undyne cracked his poor skull, well, he was just too lazy to feel anything.

He's too far gone to care anymore, and fuck anyone who tries to make him feel guilty. He kept his brother alive, his community alive. That's all he cares about.

He's quiet, The skull injury makes it difficult for him to speak. He's not entirely mute but he his mind moves to fast for his mouth to move. So a lot of the times he'll say parts of a sentence, and it may be disjointed, or he may speak slowly.

he also struggles with memory loss. Remebering things that have happened recently is really tough on him. So hes taken to carrying around a notebook, when he wants to or needs to remember something he writes it down. Then he can just check whenever he needs to.

he stares. Seriously, when he likes something (or someone) he just looks at them. You can tell when he's looking at someone he likes because they'll have his full attention, and if he likes, likes them? His remaining eyelight will be all blown up.

It's cute, creepy, but cute

Once the barrier is broken he struggles to find something to do. Axe spent years just surviving, he never had to worry about what other people thought of him, or how to get a job, or how to get and maintain finances. His skull injury and processing issues make this even harder.

so he bounces jobs for a while, somedays he's a hotdog vendor, sometimes he's a retail clerk, sometimes he's a security guard. Sometimes he's unemployed. You can never guess what he's up to.

he, and every other Monster, receive government money. As restitution for their whole species being locked under ground to suffer. So him and Crooks aren't poor, they're doing pretty okay for themselves

Crooks:

Crooks feels horrible surviors guilt. In the first few years of being on the surface it's something that made him horribly depressed. Even if he hide said depression. He suffers from nightmares of the Underground and all the friends and neighbours he lost for years. It's something he never really gets over.

He wears braces! Crooks needs a lot of dental surgerys and treatments in order to correct the years of abuse Queen (horrortale Undyne) put his teeth through.

When all the identitys of the humans who fell underground and were killed are revealed, Papyrus writes letters to all their families. Apologising on behalf of everyone.

He gets a job as a nurse! After years of study (and therapy) he starts working in Ebott hospital.

He consitently wins employee of the month once he starts working

He and Axe still live together, they don't ever want to live apart from one another. Not after what they went through. So if you wanna smooch Crooks or Axe. You gotta accept the other brother. they're a package deal

he forgives Queen (ht undyne) and Doctor (ht Alphys) for what they did. He doesn't speak to either of them, however.

He largly still remains the same happy skeleton as before, just a lot of his naivite and innocence has been washed away. He's more of a hopful realist then an optimist now.

He and Axe have a cute three bedroom home in the suburbs. It's a quaint cottage. Perfect for the two of them. It's quiet to, which is important for when either of them are struggling with an episode.

did I mention that? Yeah both of them occasionally have flashbacks to the Underground. Sometimes they forget they're not starving, sometimes they're so stuck in a flashback that they end up physically lashing out.

Feel free to send me any askes! I'll answer anything!!

#undertale #sans undertale #undertale au #horrortale sans #horrortale #horrortale papyrus #my writing #undertale headcanons #headcanon

[sophieinwonderland]

This might be upsetting but I just saw a post from did a dose of reality and it was concerning to say the least. They said the disorder wasn’t real but they play along with their clients pretending to validate their alters, only because they think that will intergrate them.

And that the only patients that leave them are the “fakers.”

Yikes!

Actually, what is even going on with that blog? There is so much blatant misinformation there.

1. Partial DID

ICD-11:

Do I need to say more?

2. Hallucinations in Dissociative Identity Disorder

They also suggest a few time that DID doesn't involve hallucinations...

Now... I doubt that "those in therapy" are aware of the DSM-5-TR, which is what I think this person is referring to since they talk about it elsewhere. Like, most therapists probably won't give their patients a rundown of the new medical manuals, right? But even if they did, I feel this person missed something pretty important in the TR.

But the TR actually undersells this association. According to one study, these hallucinations are MORE COMMON THAN IN SCHIZOPHRENIA.

And not by a small margin either.

Physical sensations associated with voices were reported 97% of the time in DID compared to 50% in Schizophrenia groups. Visual hallucinations were nearly twice as common. Tactile hallucinations, about 3 times as common.

This misinformation is genuinely dangerous.

If this alleged therapist decided that hallucinations are all psychotic, then their perception of DID could very easily be influenced by the fact that they've misdiagnosed many of their dissociative patients with psychotic disorders.

3. People with DID want their alters gone

I'm going to note that the title is my interpretation. They don't clearly say this. They just say that people with DID want to finish the job and cure it. But the way they talk about alters strongly leaves this impression.

I absolutely think it's true that most people with DID don't want to have a disorder.

But many would like to pursue healthy multiplicity.

And I'd like to point again at the table in the above study. When participants were asked if they would miss their voices if they stopped, a massive 69% answered that they would. That's a huge majority of DID systems in that study.

4. Complex DID

There is actually a certain level of truth to this one too. Complex-DID is not an official diagnosis, and HC-DID is a community term that can be a bit misleading because it sounds like a clinical term. (Similar issue with emotional amnesia.)

Having said that... this is a really silly way to go about this...

"Complex" as an adjective means that something is complicated. It's not the same as the noun "complex." Having a "complex disorder" would never be related to "having a complex."

Might as well try to convince your student that they're claiming to be an apartment complex.

I would suggest both they and their student take an English class.

Anyway, while HC-DID isn't a medical term and C-DID isn't an official diagnosis, I suspect "complex DID" likely comes from this paper.

5.) The Flight or Flight Reaction

Remember, if you make someone with a dissociative disorder angry, they'll always run away because they're literally incapable of fighting back. If they do argue with you fakeclaiming them, then that PROVES they were faking all along.

Never mind that not every instance of people being upset with you on the internet and calling you our for harmful behavior is because they're triggered. (In the traumatic sense.)

Never mind that "Fight" is a natural reaction to trauma when it is triggered.

Never mind that people who might normally run away were it something triggering you said to just them may engage because they don't want your words harming other people. /s

Anyway, yeah... this is a really gross blog from a very ableist and uninformed therapist, filled to the brim with misinformation, and I would highly advise people ignore it.

#syscourse #system discourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #sysblr #multiplicity #psychiatry #psychology #therapy #mental health #ableism #sanism #psych critical #systems #system #tw fakeclaiming

[bcofl0ve]

okay okay gather round sorry this is coming later than i said it would, law school brain. but. at long last, bottoms review time with mollie except this time with lots and lots of spoilers.

i think we covered my general “good movie very funny” thoughts in the spoiler free review, which you can read here so this is gonna be more me info dumping about my thoughts on the plot. and the core of those is that….

PJ IS A LITTLE BITCH!!! i wanted to like her in a “i support women's wrongs” way truly i did but she’s just. an asshole! not all annoying female characters are redeemable, and she is one! that’s not to say her character *existing* annoyed me, i think her being the anti-thesis to josie is an important facet of the movie and the whole “lie falling apart” plot line needed a bad guy so. she was a necessary evil.

that said though gahhhh. i wanted to wring her little neck and ik a satirical movie is not meant to be a realistic example of friendship. i do..but i still think josie was wayyy too forgiving. josie deserves better friends!!! and i fear in a world where these characters are real/the story continues pj needs to idk go to therapy or she’s gonna make josie miserable for being happy with isabel while she’s not in a relationship. (and that is to say she should not be with hazel either! she needs therapy not a girlfriend!)

buttttt but but all that to say i do think rachel did a great job playing her. playing unlikeable characters in a way that makes them unlikeable without a viewer wishing they weren't in the movie at all is a skill set! her being funny and me wanting to punt her across the room are very much thoughts that co-exisit!

moving semi away from pj…the reveal of brittany being straight threw me for such a loop that the next like- 5 minutes of the movie went right over my headkjfkj not to be an insane person but i was gen a little disappointed!! let kaia play a gay character in something that isn’t ahs!! i will wait!!! that said though she actually pulls off the whole “straight girl that isn’t gay just likes gay porn” stereotype very well and made me laugh. i still loved brittany to bits and pieces…heterosexual and all.

josie and isabel. josie and isabel. wahhhhh. wahhhh. my darling girls. when josie almost told her they were lying about juvie but went back on it my heart broke a little bc you could tell she felt guilty and i just ,</3..and yeah she did choose to keep up with the lie when she realized she was getting what she wanted (isabel) but i think the film did a good job of showing how her keeping up with it was different from pj keeping up with it. pj kept up with the lie bc she was on a power trip. josie kept up with it because she didn’t want to lose isabel/lose finally having a geuine connection with a girl/and felt like she had in a way gotten her away from jeff so as long as they kept the lie up she could keep looking out for her.

which is still well, manipulative. lying is bad! but idk i had much more sympathy for her than i did pj. and think when it all came out that josie was actually sorry, whereas pj was only sorry they got caught/still bitter britt was straight. 

those are my main thoughts on it all, but some side bars: lovedd hazel. ruby is great and i am not really a fantasy show person, just not my genre but now i kinda wanna check out willow just to see more of her. the plot twist with jeff actually fucking her mom was soooo early 2000s teen movie and i ate it up. as was the fact that outside of that no one seemed to have parents at all LOL your kids are coming home with black eyes and you don’t have some questions?!?! miles fowler was also really great and tbh i liked him as much as i did kaia in it. esp his flip phone. especially his flip phone. josie's monolouge about marrying a pastor and lavender marriages is what made me start choking on my shake. right up my humor ally as someone who grew up evangelical, and i imagine ayo found it funny for the same reason! was expecting the big josie/isabel hookup scene to be more vulgar less *fade to black* but this is a movie about high schoolers so actually that's a good thing i think?? i accidentally read a spoiler explaining the final killing spree scene months ago and really wish i didn’t bc it would’ve been fun to experience that going in blind.

another side bar to close this out. i *loved* this movie. 5 stars in my book i can’t wait to rewatch it over and over when it’s on prime. but i…kinda disagree with all the tweets saying it’s the next mean girls/heathers/etc cult classic. not because i don’t think it’s good! but because i think comedy film criticism is turning into everything having to be iconic or a future cult classic to be praised? a funny movie can just be a funny movie! it doesn’t have to be the next heathers for you to like it and praise it! does that make sense?

if you read this all the way through congrats! go gay people! go losers!

hello! If you’re reading this because you’re scrolling through the bottoms tag my name is mollie (-: this is primarily a gossip blog for austin butler and his girlfriend kaia gerber (brittany!), both folks i’m big fans of- with a side of elvis presley/presley family fan posting. but i’ve been ‘covering’ bottoms quite a bit so do feel free to come hang out and send anons if you wanna chat! <3 and i’m going to start posting anons containing spoilers on sunday night- so if i don’t answer something right away that’s why.

#mollie goes to the movies #bottoms movie #bottoms 2023 #ayo edebiri #rachel sennott #havana rose liu #ruby cruz #kaia gerber #film

[art-of-mathematics]

i need to rant again (sorry in advance).

I feel very sad right now.

As I concretized what aspects I suffer under the most: it is primarily isolation and having nothing to do all day.

so i searched for volunteering opportunities.

(i want to volunteer) but seeing the offers for volunteering work almost being entirely a social volunteering activity made me very sad and frustrated.

and although i find that things like soup kitchen for homeless people are important and i value them - i do not know how i could integrate myself in there to do any activity where i would not just be entirely overchallenged by all social interactions stuffs. while also being bored of the tasks one could do here.

I searched further for any regular or any activities for autistic people or people with huge social inabilities- and it makes me so sad and angry... finding just the few scarce options i have also heard of already- occupational therapy, "work" therapy (which is very similar to occupational therapy), and then thats it for regular options.

for less regular options there is also very few options...

for volunteering work one also needs to be merely self-organized. and damn...

i just wish i had a job that i at least enjoy half of the tasks to do - and anything to do.

i hate being in this shitass huge city and having the same options as someone living in a damn tiny village... or forest.

//sarcastic: in a forest there might even be more options for me to engage with my environment than in this shitasshuge city of additional sensory torture...

it makes me so sad.

it feels futile.

like literally. the isolation and having nothing non-pointless to do make overcoming the shitty trauma far more difficult.

What can I do?

Talking with myself is an option I find even more depressing than just talking to no one for days.

its not even that i slightly like the isolation.

i hate it. i dread it! i prefer to live with some people in a shared flat. but this isolation chamber. i cannot take it.

but i mean: i am extremely privileged for living on my own, renting an apartment solely for myself. But I do not want to live for myself. It is isolating, debilitaing so. In a shared apartment there at least happens social interaction randomly, and I could even do the tasks I do already and would help someone with what i do. But this way its depressingly futile and lifeless.

I feel useless and like a damn burden.

This apartment I am living in is like the final storage facility of radiocative substances: its far away from any engagement places, on a mountain on the outermost edge of the city, with the only function to store and isolate the trash for many years and decades so it will finally fall apart one day, and does not annoy anyone with its existence.

damn. i feel so sad. i have very huge trouble sleeping since a week. i am tired. i am exhausted. breathing shallowly. cant focus. just mind fog. just shittt

am tired but cant sleep

can only complain.

i hate this futile attempt to "pull myself up by my own bootstraps". it is not only seriously energy-consuming, but also futile. But what else can i do?

fuck it. i am tired. yet cant sleep.

and dat thought circle now repeats itself 1000 times until i either get so angry or stressed that whatever might happen - or i might be able to navigate my fucked up mind into a different semi-disturbing thought topic.

i am tired.

yes, you are tired? tell me more about it. does it feel as if u got bread as brain?

yeah. totally. the bread is crumbling.

and what do we want to do with the crumbs now?

perhaps collect da crumbs, put it in a bowl (but not a holebowl) and then insert a liquid and stomp it very hard multiple times until it becomes dough again.

yay. we bake a tiny new brain bread now, dont we?

yeas, we do.

at least in our imagination it is that easy to get into a slightly better mental space - for few minutes - but that is a topic for another chapter.

no seriously. i have to come up with this kind of nonsense all the time because if i confuse myself with this kind of silly nonsense the shitty thoughts, feeling and memories get swirled around - and then they are less painful.

swirling the awful brain crumbs makes them feel as if they are disappeared - but only for the moment when i swirl the shit around. if the brain crumbsmsettle again it all starts to be unbearable again.

seriously this is exhausting. and why? damn why do i have to do this?

arent there more helpful/functional ways to deal with it?

if someone of you humans reading this knows a realitistic other functional compensation method, please feel free to tell me.

I am "am Ende meines Lateins" as that German saying goes. I have approached the end of having clues/ideas. Perhaps I have to accept I approached the invitable: the last station to Burnout and Boreout all at once!

the ring of running in a hamster wheel closes itself as the hamster approached light speed and time began to stand still.

as time stood still, all that was existent was the dead hamsters haunting memories,

still haunting him after he already succesfully died in one of his recursive nightmares.

but uhh. recursive nightmares are of a special kind... i assure you... but dont be sure about anything, thats for sure...

.. and that, my dear human beans, that is true irony.

legendary.

at least i can laugh about it - somehow. anyhow. whatever.

#rant #complaining #self talk or such

[maggie-004]

(Un-) Lucky coincidence – 5

Jenna Ortega x Fem reader

Summary: Y/n auditions for a role in the movie and lands the part as Friday Addams, while also being hired as a set nurse. Later, Jenna asks y/n to show her some DJing, and they spend time together, bonding over music and celebrating y/n's live stream on Twitch.

Words: 1082

“Okay Jenna, when should we record the casting scene?” I asked her, still in shock that I’m even given the opportunity. “Well how about now? Do you have a printer, so I could just print two or three pages from the script”. “Oh now? Amazing. Yeah sure come on I’ll show you. Should I set up my camera in my studio while you print the pages?” I asked Jenna in high spirits. “Sure that’ll be amazing” she just giggled at me. I showed her the printer, which is also in my Studio. I turned my camera away from my DJing stuff against a white wall, I turned on my key lights and waited patiently for Jenna to come back to me. When she showed me the first two pages from the script we sat down and did a so called chemistry read, at least that’s what Jenna told me, that’s how it’s called. My role or, my maybe future role is Wednesday’s fraternal twin sister, Friday Addams. I tried to memorize my lines for about 10 minutes, when Jenna asked me if I need more time or if I’m ready. “I guess I’m ready, I’m not really sure but I guess that’s normal. Let’s give it a try.” We did the scene where Wednesday finds Pugsley in the locker. Jenna did Pugsley’s lines as well.

Wednesday and Friday are very similar to each other, both spoke in their emotionless and monotone voice.

W: Pugsley

 F: We want Names.

He whimpered

P: I don’t know who they were… honest.

W: Pull yourself together

He’s still whimpering

F: Now!

When Wednesday touched him, her head jerks back and her eyes are wide open.

P: is she okay?

F: Yes do not worry about her.

Friday continues to untie him.

Wednesday snaps back, her fringe is a mess and she’s breathing a little heavier than normal.

W:I’m not about to confess to my brother that I’ve recently been plagued by visions. They come on without warning, and feel like electroshock therapy, but without the satisfying afterburn.

F: leave this to us

P: But, what are you going to do?

W: what we do best.

They both left him on the floor.

“Woah, that was amazing.” Jenna smiled at me and gave me a big hug. I did in fact had butterflies in my stomach. Her hugs feel so warm and I don’t know, I just love them. “You really think so?” I asked a little concerned while we pulled apart. “Yeah I do that was perfect, a one take, doesn’t happen too often.” Jenna smiled at me. We watched it on my laptop together, I nearly couldn’t watch myself, but Jenna did so good. Funny thing is that she said the exact same thing about herself. Jenna wrote an E-mail to Tim with the video. Iwas so nervous but within 10 minutes we had our answer. `My dearest Friday, welcome to the set of Wednesday´. OH MY GOD “No way, I have the Job… well the Jobs. Oh my god Jenna, thank you so much oh my god, my dream comes true” I nearly screamed in excitement. I jumped up and down like a little child. Jenna grabbed my hands and Jumped with me. She was as happy as me. “I am sooo proud of you. You really did amazing, you’re a natural. I can’t wait to work with you. Oh my god that’s so amazing”

Jenna and I jumped a little more around until we were exhausted by that. We than went out to the balcony, in that time the sun had began to set. It really was beautiful, we smoked two cigarettes and just talked, mostly some random Bullshit. I know it sounds really cliché, but it feels like I had known Jenna my whole life. “Y/n, can you show me a little bit about DJing please.” She asked with puppy eyes, as if I’d say no. “Of course, let’s go into my studio. I will go live on twitch later anyways if you want you can watch me, but first I’ll show you a few things”, “Oh I’d love too, are you going live with Toni?” she asked me, when we were on our way into my studio. “No just me today, Toni is in Paris, there is the twitch con. I couldn’t go because I have to work tomorrow. Luckily I didn’t go, then all this wouldn’t have happened.”, “Yeah thank god you didn’t go” she smiled

So I showed Jenna what all the buttons are for, and showed her a mix from Fisher Loosing it and daft punk One more time. She was fascinated. I let her try, let’s just say It took more than one try but still amazing. She had a lot of fun, and I let her have her moment, until it was 8:15 p.m.  “Okay Jenna, I have to get ready for my live now.” I said while putting on my black hoody and my black face Mask. “okay, I’m actually excited to see you live in action” she laughed.

I started twitch on my Computer, and got into the frame with my microphone. “Hey guys, welcome back, Before I start, I have to announce that the live won’t be as long as usual, maybe an hour and a half top. I have to get up tomorrow for work, But enjoy.” I put my microphone aside and started with the exact same thing I showed Jenna earlier, she was really vibing to it and I looked behind the camera and just smiled. My chat said `ohh someone’s there`, ´looks like someone’s in love` and stuff like that. I turned red but Jenna can’t see my chat so it’s not too embarrassing. I really was live the Full hour and a half, I had too much fun to leave earlier. Around 200-400k people watched, I felt a little guilty to end my live so `soon`, but I wanna spent some time with Jenna before  I go to sleep. “All right guys, sorry for the rather short live, but as said in the beginning, I have to get up pretty early tomorrow, I’ll walk out of the frame and leave you guys alone with TOTO- Africa, Bye guys.” I did as said and ended the live after the song was done. I quickly gut rid of my hoodie and the mask, because it’s way too hot.

“So what do you think?” I asked Jenna with a big smile.

A/N: FYI English isn’t my first language plus this isn’t proof read, sorry for any mistakes, still hope you like it. :)

#jenna ortega #actors #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #the fallout #wednesday

[crimeronan]

Is Darius fully aware that Luz is actually the younger sibling? Because if not I imagine it would be pretty hilarious when he finds out.

Also I really like Raine slowly finding out that new Empress is actually pretty on board with everything they want reforms and freedoms wise, but Luz is just also painfully distracted worrying about Hunter constantly which just gets in the way of Raine's suggestions. Raine realising slowly that they're dealing with a scared child who shares their goals and not an evil political mastermind.

Darius: Just how is she controlling him and inspiring this much loyalty from him? He refuses to question her at all. She must be a master manipulator.

Raine: *slowly realising with every interaction that Luz is in fact genuinely well intentioned but deeply traumatised and terrified about the possibility of harm coming to Hunter and is in need of a hug, parents and therapy*

i think that darius definitely knows that luz is younger than hunter, but that he doesn't know how much that's reflected in their dynamic, if that makes sense? like. darius sees them as a princess/empress and her subordinate, without age factoring into it. to him, this is a dynamic where luz has all the power and hunter is an uncomplicated victim. and where hunter has been manipulated to a point where he doesn't REALIZE he's being victimized

i feel like the entire dynamic would/will make a HELL OF A LOT MORE SENSE to him if and when he finds out that hunter protects luz much more like a parentified older sibling who's paranoid than like a guy with a dogshit job and no sense of self. like oh, okay. yeah. that tracks. no wonder you two Are The Way You Are. For Fuck's Fucking Sake

this whole ask is SO SPOT ON. @turretpolygamy and a couple anons helped with concepting an alternate hollow mind a few months back (idr if you were here / part of it?), where darius and raine enter luz's mindscape to figure out what she's up to after belos dies, and raine is pretty quickly like. alright. darius. you overthought this. this is a baby.

there's a certain horror to darius and raine finding out exactly what luz and hunter's lives have looked like prior to belos's death because holy FUCK. but at the same time there's So Much humor in it, like. imagine you've been playing life-or-death politics and committing treason under a fascist government's nose for years-to-decades, knowing that doing so can and will get you and all of your loved ones So So So So So Murdered, and then suddenly your biggest problem is taking care of a pair of well-intentioned kids who keep having panic attacks when asked to spend six hours apart. it's such a wild sitcom-esque setup for all four of them like how do you . how do you even approach this. you are all insane people. you are all insane people thinking up insane person solutions to incredibly mundane problems. it's DELIGHTFUL.

#tonally like. the way of the house husband manga. youre all playing 3d chess political maneuvers over when a 16-year-old luz goes to bed #i love it SO MUCH. #replies #toh #princess luz au #darius deamonne #raine whispers #luz noceda #hunter toh

[jaxthejester]

Yes hello hi my friend! I already asked this of somebody but I don't know if they're going to do it so I thought to ask you as well if you don't mind! It's something I might also write about but I love seeing different perspectives... Anyways!

Damien who has had attraction to men before experiencing his first actual crush on a guy... And it just so happens to be his boss, Anthony cause of course that's his luck. I'll leave the rest to you!

this is such a cute prompt, i hope you enjoy!

Antmien - This Is A Love Song In My Own Way

-

Ian had seemed... giddy as of late.

"Maybe he's back in therapy?" Damien had said to Shayne. Both men watched Ian from a tabel in the enterance room. They didn't mean to stare in a creepy way, no no, they were just fascinated that a Debby Downer such as Ian could light up this much.

"Maybe. God, his smile is so bright, I might need to start wearing sunglasses indoors," Shayne replied, earning a chuckle out of the man seated next to him.

"Oh no, sunglasses AND a chain? You're on your way to Douchetown, my friend," Damien joked. Shayne let out a gasp in faux offense.

"Heyyy! The chain isn't that bad!"

Before Damien could retort, he heard the main door open with a click.

He and Shayne both turned to the door out of habit. Damien took note of Ian practically spinning on his heel to get to the door.

And then, the man himself walked in.

"Holy fucking shit."

"No way, that's-?!"

"Anthony!" Ian proclaimed, wrapping Anthony in a giant hug. Anthony smiled and returned it before looking around the Smoffice.

"Hey bud! This place is... a lot bigger than our old office!" Anthony said, almost in awe. He hadn't even gotten a tour, and yet he was amazed by the sights before him.

And Damien, too, was amazed by the sights before him, but not in the same way Anthony was, no. Damien was enthralled by the man who just walked in. He was so lost, just staring at him, that he didn't notice Shayne jump up to greet the newcomer.

Shayne calling his named pulled him back to reality.

"Dames! C'mere, you two haven't met, yeah?"

Oh, right. He was at work, he can't just start eye-fucking the legend of a man who just walked in. Feeling heat start to rise to his cheeks (but choosing to ignore it), he quickly got up to join the group of three.

"So!" Ian began. "Damien, this is Anthony, as you likely know. Anthony, this is Damien."

Anthony smiled and stuck out his hand. Oh god, he had such a great smile! "Hey, nice to finally meet ya!" he grinned.

Damien couldn't halt the slight gitter of his hand as he went to shake Anthony's. "Nice to meet you too, Anthony." he said, trying to match Anthony's smile and praying to anyone listening that his face wasn't beet red.

He prayed to the same ears that Anthony didn't notice he held his hand for longer than a usual handshake.

"We'd love to stick around, but Anthony and I have some private matters to discuss, so we'll see you two later." Ian said, obviously trying to keep a straight face, but not doing a great job at it.

And just as soon as he arrived, he was gone, whisked away to a conference room, leaving Damien and Shayne standing in the entryway.

"Well I'll be damned! I didn't think I'd seen Anthony again, and I DEFINITELY didn't expect to see him and Ian on friendly terms!" Shayne said in disbelief at the situation. He turned to Damien.

"So, what'd you think?" he asked. It took a second before he registered his friend's flushed complexion.

"I think I'm fucked, to be frank."

Later that day, it was announced Anthony and Ian had bought Smosh. For the second time that day, Damien knew he was fucked. He had off early that day, so he decided to head to Shayne's place rather than his own. Shayne's apartment felt like Damien's second apartment by how often he stayed over.

Shayne had got off about an hour before Damien, so Damien was greeted from the kitchen.

"Welcome home, honey. How was your busy day at the office?" Shayne called out. Damien smiled at the bit.

"It was fine, dear. Now I'm to turn on the news and smoke a cigarette in our living room while you prepare food tonight, yes?"

Shayne appeared from around the corner, two mugs in hand. "Oh, of course. This is the healthiest relationship dynamic." Shayne held a mug out to Damien. The latter took the mug with a smile.

"Thanks, man." He took a sip of the warm drink.

"You're welcome. Lemon with a dash of sugar, you're favorite."

"Keep this up and I will get on one knee right now."

"Really? Even after all those stares given to one Mr. Padilla today?"

Damien tried his best to not do a spit take. "Wh-What do you mean?"

"Dames. I've been your best friend for over a decade. I think I can tell when you have the hots for someone."

"Yeah, right. I've never had a crush on a man."

"When I took you to that gay bar, you definitely had something for that brunet."

"THAT. That is lust, not infatuation. Checkmate, bozo!" Damien sat his mug down just to finger gun Shayne. The latter rolled his eyes.

"Look man, I've seen you with girls you thought were 'the one.' You gave Anthony the same eyes you gave them. Un...checkmate."

"That's not-"

"It doesn't matter! Look, I've known Anthony for a while now. Honestly, just go for it."

"Dog, he is our boss. That's kinda weird, is it not??"

"Dames, this job is kinda weird, is it not?"

"...fair."

And thus began the attempts to get Damien to confess. Shayne was his wingman, but was always met with an excuse on why he couldn't confess.

"Oh, I have a VO session that day, I'm leaving early."

"Zelda and Freyja have checkups! I can't leave their side!"

"I have a stream tonight, oops! Totally forgot!"

This cycle continued for months.

Shayne sat Damien down on his couch.

"Damien."

"That's correct, five points to Gryffindor!"

"You seriously need to tell Anthony."

"...five points from Gryffindor."

"I'm serious, man! Excuse after excuse, you need to just lay your cards on the table."

"But I-"

"No excuses! We have a date tonight at a local brewery. You, Anthony, and myself. You're free tonight, so you don't have any excuse not to go!"

Damien put his face into his hands. "Shayne... goddamnit."

Three hours later, Damien, Shayne, and Anthony met at brewery. The place was nice, hipsterish in nature. Damien wasn't a drinker, but he could see himself enjoying a night with friends here.

The first thirty minutes went by smoothly. Anthony and Shayne both nursed a beer, while Damien stuck to water. Converstation flew naturally, and Damien couldn't help but admire Anthony. He was practically glowing.

Shayne looked at his phone. "Ah, shit. I gotta run. Court needs help with some shit at their place. I'll Venmo you for the drinks!" He said before gathering his shit and leaving before anyone, mostly Damien, could stop him.

"Oh, damn. I hope Courtney is alright, Shayne left in such a hurry..." Anthony muttered. Damien opened his mouth to say something when his phone dinged.

It was a text from Shayne. 'cmon man, do it. nows the pefrect chance' it read. Damien chose to ignore his friend's poor texting skills. He took a deep breath.

"Hey, uh, Anthony. I have something I need to um.. tell you." Why was he this nervous?

"Hm? Go for it." God, was he really doing this??

"I- uh. Mm. How do I..." he cleared his throat. "I... like you. Like school girl writing hearts around your name like you. I uh. Hah. Um. Yeah." He gave awkward finger guns to Anthony.

Anthony smiled. "Really? You aren't like- you aren't yanking my dick or anything?"

"I mean, no, but if you want.." Anthony stifled a laugh at the comment. "Sorry, sorry. That was crude."

"Eh, it's totally fine! And uh, I like you too, Damien." Anthony smiled.

"Wait, really?"

"Really. Do you want proof?"

"Proof?"

Before he knew it, Anthony's finger was tilting Damien's chin left, and Anthony connected their lips together.

It was soft and sweet. After a moment, they broke apart.

"Oh." was all Damien could say. "Damn. If I knew you wanted that, I would've confessed months ago..."

"Wait, MONTHS?"

#smosh #antmien #fluff #this was so fun to write #thank you for the ask! #cross posted on ao3 #if you like my fics pls leave kudos there!

[mountainmaven]

Long share.

I know there's still a little over a month left in the year, but what a year.

We had a record breaking winter with snowfall this year. We had a thousand-year storm (Hillary) come through that did severe damage to our mountain (thankfully no loss of life).

A week ago all the roads on the mountain completed the re-opening process. Though many of the hiking trails and parking lots remain closed. Some will remain so indefinitely. We live within a National Forest, and National Recreation Area, just to give you an idea of why things are being handled the way they are.

Our library is re-opening today which I am very happy about and will be going up there this afternoon to visit. It's been 3 months almost to the day since the flood that did damage to our little library and forced her to close.

On personal notes: I'm back in therapy. I'm working on my own spiritual journey again. My husband traveled all over the world this year for work.

Some of you may remember back on Dec. 31, 2020 our oldest got married. She and her (then fiance) bought a house together earlier that year, then he joined the Army after their wedding. This past summer he was deployed and when he came home he told our daughter that he wanted a divorce and there was no changing his mind. We were all devastated most of all of course our daughter, and she's still healing from this. Their divorce is technically final but they are still joined financially until they sell their home. She just needs all this to be behind her. When he told her he wanted the divorce he also told her that he'd been thinking about it for the better part of a year - seriously??!! So yeah, a lot of crap she's been going through.

We helped her find a place to live, she got a summer job that then led to a full time job and she's liking it and it will hopefully lead to a job (either within that company or elsewhere) in an area she really wants to be in. She's in a conservation job and wants to stay within that kind of work.

Our son got a second job and is loving it. He still has his first job for now but that may eventually go away. In the meantime while he works a lot of hours, he likes the extra money.

Our youngest ended her University journey as a student, and is now working as a farm hand at an equine research facility. She loves it, though it's hard work both physically and emotionally. We also helped her find an apartment where she's living.

We visited our other middle child this past summer and that was an amazing trip. We had such a great time, and have been itching to go back ever since. They are finishing up their Master's degree this year. I don't know yet if they're going for their Dr. right away or at all. They've loved the time they've had at their University and where they live. I hope wherever they go next, or if they stay there, they're are as happy as they have been this past year or so.

We've done some more house projects - electrical stuff, small retaining wall, steps leading to the propane tank up the embankment (the gas delivery people LOVE it as they no longer have to literally crawl up the embankment to deliver our gas!) We have more projects on deck for next year (it's always something!). We're still helping to support 3 of our children - it's a tough world out there financially and I truly don't understand how people think young people starting out, or anyone having to start over can do it on their own? We are very grateful that we have the ability to help our kids as we know so many families can't. It breaks my heart.

This Thursday is Thanksgiving here in the US and it will be the first Thanksgiving in almost 30 years where it's just hubby and I. It's going to feel so weird!! But, it will be a nice quiet day just the two of us (oh and our oldest's dog who we are dog sitting that day). But all the kids will be here for Christmas and my birthday so I'm super excited about that.

I hope this year has been a good one for you all, and if it's had its challenges like ours has then I hope you've come through them all in a way that is suitable for you, and you have peace with the outcomes. If you're still struggling I hope that peace will come soon. And I hope that next year is better for us all.

#personal #about me #life update

[weebsinstash]

No no you’re so right about the batfam thing, I thought I was the only one here. They’re all so mentally ill and have seen so much shit, this gray area of taking care of you (but at the same time never attempting to cure you) is so on brand.

Reader: ok so can I just go over this again. I was a grown adult woman with a job and an apartment and my own arguably shitty life and I was even a vigilante

Dick: yep sounds right so far

Reader: and I had a run in with a villain and maybe almost died and in the end i got turned back into a kid

Jason: yeah it was real scary, Damian totally cried

Reader: and after I was a kid again and i couldnt remember anything 'from the future', you gave me a new place to live, you fed me, you housed me, you even registered me in school and I literally went to high school with you guys

Barbara: yeah and the teachers love you ^^

Reader: i would have nightmares and PTSD and then one or even several of you would sleep in the same room as me, Alfred learned all my favorite dishes, we literally took family vacations overseas, you took me to all kinds of doctors whenever I was worried about my hair or my skin or wasn't feeling well to make sure I was literally in perfect health and wouldnt worry, some of you call me your sister completely unironically, and you guys did all of that, all of that for like FIVE YEARS--

Damian: well of course

Reader: and you NEVER attempted to talk to Dr Fate or Zatanna or Mr Terrific or like literally anyone about how to fix this and turn me back to normal literally NOT EVEN one single time? And what the fuck, are these ADOPTION PAPERS?

Jason:

Dick:

Bruce:

Barbara:

The dog:

Alfred, being as brutally honest as ever: it never came into consideration, no

Reader: man, fuck you guys, I'm gonna see what that "Earth-3" dimension is like, maybe THEIR Batman isn't a complete freak 😒

But gosh you wanna talk about morally gray, I was thinking of something when I was watching those Jason clips yesterday and you know, depending on the movie, people were discussing how he literally had head trauma that also could have altered his mental state and i began thinking: what if Reader got a concussion and it eventually spirals into the Batfam basically turning it into one big convenient excuse

Like imagine Reader is, you know a member or extended member of the fam, whether as is or attached to that age regression amnesia idea, and a villain just, REALLY gets a good move in, maybe the Joker himself brings his good friend the crowbar back and you take a good swing to the back of the head, and you have, like, CONFIRMED head trauma, definitely concussed, maybe you even need surgery or treatment for a fractured skull. Just the entire Batfam crowded around your bed comforting you as you lay there in bandages feeling just so weak and helpless and sad 🥺 and maybe not just the concussion but also the resulting months of bedrest until you recover directly result in you needing physical therapy so you're also physically weaker than before

And this goes from "oh gosh Reader is forgetting things more often and her ability to think and focus has obviously changed, what if this is permanent, we better make sure we support her and keep her company and try to help her and make things as accessible as possible" developing to "clearly you are only upset with us because your concussion scrambles you up sometimes and you're more emotional than you were before and you're not always in the right state of mind. what do you MEAN you want to move out and The Mission is stupid and none of us are actually fixing anything, youve never said stuff like this before, that's ridiculous, clearly you're just having another overstimulated meltdown but that's ok, we know you're struggling and you're still our family so we'll make sure you stay here and stay safe 🥰"

And you know, the Reader character is all emotional and stuff, but as the IRL Reader thats one of those situations where you kinda go "well shit, she DID have a traumatic head injury, from the Batfam's perspective you COULD legitimately just be suffering from a concussion and these 'aren't your real feelings'" and it's super morally gray because like yeah, you've been hurt real bad, and maybe you're still recovering, and maybe you do legitimately have a somewhat, er, slightly diminished mental ability now, but that's all manifesting in "you're literally having to break out of the house just to get some time to yourself because youre trapped or have a constant babysitter and Batman himself drags you back kicking and screaming while he's gently scolding how you shouldn't be out there by yourself and that you have to be more careful because what if you got hurt 🥺"

And even if Reader's emotions weren't being affected at all like, it brings THEM some sort of fucked up closure to believe that you're just a little unwell and not, like, you hating them because 'they couldn't protect you' and it is arguably their fault you even got brutalized in the first place. Bruce just internalizing the extreme guilt he feels until it manifests into you basically being treated even MORE like, like some kind of bubble baby, constantly kept safe in your perfectly handcrafted little prison of 'a peaceful life'.

#the joke being Earth 3 is literally the Everyone Is Fucking Evil dimension where Reader would be absolutely doomed #yandere stuff #sinprompts

[thesmallmeggles]

Zanzo's Backstory Headcanons, in a more specific order than the previous post

37 years prior to the canon events of Hi-Fi Rush, Zanzo and his older fraternal twin brother were born prematurely at a hospital somewhere. (I read that two of the risk factors for developing cerebral palsy were being a twin and premature birth, so that's what this is based on.)

His older brother, who I named Katsu, is neurotypical and able-bodied. (Fraternal twins share 50% of their DNA, so this is possible.) He has a mellower, more conventional personality. He works in either Human Resources or Customer Service at a rival tech company.

Zanzo's personality as a child is best described as a little shit (affectionate). Loud, opinionated, spite motivated. Center of shenanigans. But rarely malicious. (Meg, isn't that just his canon behavior? Parts of it, yeah.)

The brothers were practically joined at the hip when they were kids. (Apart from occasional arguments and competitiveness).

This relationship weakened as they hit their teens and beyond, with Katsu's increased popularity and social demands.

Diagnosis... happened earlier on. The palsy and hearing loss certainly got noticed first. Once those got sorted out, autism became more apparent.

If cybernetics were available, I think they were well out of Zanzo's parents' budget. They made do with regular aids, which are also fairly expensive. (Many variables in place with that. Which is not our focus here.)

He used a walker indoors and a manual wheelchair outdoors. Both were extensively decorated with stickers, tape, and paint.

Zanzo learned to lip read but not sign language.

Zanzo's parents raised him and Katsu to the best of their ability. They held high expectations for their sons, pushing them to succeed. From Zanzo's perspective, there was an verbally unexpressed undercurrent of him failing to measure up.

I think what crushed him more than anything was the sense that no one truly supported him. His physical needs were addressed, but the emotional happened inconsistently. He coped with this by retreating into his interests.

Zanzo's foray into robotics began with repairing a broken toy robot. He guided Katsu in the reassembly process because he had steadier hands. It took years of convincing for his parents to buy him a robotics kit.

As far as schooling goes, I don't have any solid thoughts over whether he was mainstreamed or in special education classes. Definitely had multiple therapies and case workers throughout the years.

Being an outgoing kid, Zanzo had no problem seeking out friends. The problem was keeping them. And difficulties seemed to increase with age.

Avid member of his school's anime and video gaming clubs and its robotics team.

The folks who liked him noted his humor and creativity. They probably expected him to become a comic book artist, an animator, or video game developer.

He got relentlessly bullied/excluded for being "weird" (autistic) and physically disabled his entire schooling. Unfortunately, Zanzo ended up in trouble more often than not.

So about the "Jojo Villain OC" mask I mentioned last post. There was a time in Zanzo's teen years when he attempted to come off as "normal". (And yet again when he first arrived at Vandelay Technologies.) It did not work out like he hoped.

This persona is meant to keep others at a distance, I think. The opposite of regular autistic masking.

Vandelay Tech hired Zanzo as a programmer/engineer. (I'm split between the two.)

One day, Zanzo took the opportunity to share his concept art for future robots with Roxanne during one of her visits to the R&D labs. Kale found these drawings later and realized he had a good contender for replacing Macaron. (If Kale had investigated Zanzo more thoroughly, he probably would have picked someone else.)

The last time Zanzo spoke to Katsu was shortly after landing a job at Vandelay. (He cut off ties with his parents earlier.) Their conversation ended on a sour note.

Zanzo used to be a member of a disability forum. He left after a member voiced displeasure about his newly acquired cybernetics. (And the resulting argument that got both accounts banned.)

Becoming head of R&D should have been a dream come true. He gets to make robots! There's just so much more stress involved. (Not that Zanzo ever told anyone about it.)

Zanzo worried about not being able to fulfill his duties, especially with his employees continually singing Macaron's praises. (Those who did so within Zanzo's earshot often got "transferred to other responsibilities".)

Canonically speaking, the department heads operate on "teeth gritting teamwork". Zanzo battles Roquefort over budget matters, but I don't think he hates his coworkers. They're the closest thing he has to friends right now. (I may be wrong.)

Zanzo had plenty of questions about Project Armstrong and SPECTRA. Whenever he expressed them, they often got shut down and or ignored. Eventually, Zanzo gave up pursuing answers and stuck to his work.

The fates of earlier (human) test subjects weigh heavily on his mind. (The secretary robot after chamber three could've been referring to humans, robots, or both with her comments about survivors. We don't know for certain.) He knows he's in a messed up situation, but he can't get out of it. (As we saw in Korsica's case, Kale could very well kill him.) Besides, the robots overwhelmed them. It's not his fault. It's not his fault.

#hi fi rush #hi fi rush zanzo #zanzo #headcanon #also original characters? #sorry if this post is clunkier than the first #this is a rough draft #it can be polished later #zanzo needs a gift basket #edited

[wouldyoustayvn]

I need to be spoken down to like a whole child cause Im so lost about Virgil lore and now his family lore?? omg

help me, i wanna simp so hard for this man but i needa know everything about him like his bloodtype and the time he was born asdfghujiklkjhgfds

Pfpfp yeah I get that lmao OK OK hang on tight! It’s gonna be pretty long!

Let me give you some info about his parents (mostly his mom lmao)

The world building is basically modern fantasy like, when humans and supernatural/mythical creatures co exist with each other, in a modern world like ours—

Erin Evans (Virgil’s mom) was actually half human and half fae (human witch mom named Agatha) (fae dad named Irvin) basically survived and escaped a witch hunt that murdered her mother when Erin was young. Of course her father was away at that time and when he returns, he found his wife dead and daughter missing, assuming she died as well, is in isolation out of grief.

Erin was soon later taken in and adopted by another fae, who is a single father of two, now three! Of course Erin grew up and met Thomas Evans (Virgil’s dad) during secondary school (or high school cuz this place takes in England ivdhcdjcdhc) They become high school sweethearts and marry each other during their mid 20’s. Erin is a designer who can also sew! Thomas is a florist in his family business!

Erin and Thomas has their first child, the one and only, Virgil Evans! Then the second child they have is their daughter Sarah Agatha Evans! And lastly, their youngest child is their son, Irvin Evans!

Sadly, Thomas passed away a few days before Virgil’s 10th birthday. Of course the family was devastated, especially Virgil because Virgil had a little argument with Thomas for going to miss out on his 10th birthday. Thomas had to go and visit his sister whose husband has passed away from another country and had to use the plane.

Sadly there was a malfunction during the plane ride. And before Thomas left to the airport, Thomas takes off his necklace and place it on Virgil’s nightstand as a little gift of apology, noticing that Virgil likes to play with it and wear it. So the necklace was the only thing that Virgil have of his father.

So growing up without his dad was a little rocky for his family but Virgil try his best to help raising his little brother. So whenever there are times when he’s alone, he copes by playing video games that his dad bought for him. Of course Erin notice this and took him to therapy.

Years has gone by and he was getting better, he use to be in a track team but eventually stop realizing that he doesn’t want to do that for the rest of his life, then there is his time in high school, things kind of gone well, his sister introduced him to theatre, became a theatre kid lmao, he has a pretty good voice and knows his way of instruments and met a couple of his classmates that has the same talent as him and went on to create a rock band called Below The Stars! Things have gotten pretty well with him and his band! That is until there is a fall out between Virgil and his bandmate that created a rumor about Virgil for “sleeping around” due to Virgil politely decline to their love confession.

Of course he has dated people here and there but that usually end on a good note. So the fact that his bandmate couldn’t handle the rejection and started the rumor offended and angered him to the point that he fought them physically. And thus broke up the band.

After graduation, he cut himself off from his ex bandmate and stay in contact with the others. Of course they drifted apart due to going to university and such. Virgil moved out of his family home to his apartment that is near his college. He adopted a Doberman puppy, he named him Scott! During his time, he got himself a part time job at a children’s daycare! Of course he visit his mom and younger siblings often! Usually take and drop off Irvin to school! He also take Sarah and Irvin out shopping! He also help take care of the house whenever Erin is busy working.

Everything was going well for him! He started focusing on himself, healing, plays music and post it online, he also has his streaming channel! He usually games or even cross dress for fun! He also try to go back to dating! Wanting to meet someone who he could spend his life with and maybe have a family together!

And so 22 year old Virgil is satisfied with his life until one day, that one day his life fall apart when he’s at his family house. The day that he had become sentient. He was enjoying his time, taking in his surroundings, his thoughts began to drift. Why is his pupil has a star shaped? Why is he the only one have that? Shouldn’t one of his siblings or parents have that as well? Or why everything looks like it was in 2D? Like the anime’s he enjoys watching? He looks down at his hands. Something’s not right. Why does he look off? Why does the living room looks off…Why does everything look.. off? So…artificial?

Suddenly, strange numbers and letters began to appear on the walls, startling him. Nervously he rushes towards his mom. However when he reaches towards her, he is horrified. She’s glitching and disintegrating into numbers and letters, and yet, she looked indifferent, no… she looks like she’s in a dazed. He could barely reach her to touch her and she disappears, he felt his stomach dropped, his blood run cold, he rushes towards his brother’s room, and there he was, laying on the floor, lifeless, disintegrating. The poor elf held his little brother into his arms, sobbing and pleading him to wake up, shouting for help.

Too busy holding his little brother, the walls, the items, the floors began to disappear. Geometric shapes appearing everywhere, the color of the sky turn into one sky blue to a deep blue. Irvin didn’t wake up, he dissolved into Virgil’s arms. Virgil, horrified, scared, confused, looks around, crying and sobbing. Shaking and trembling. His eyes darted around his surroundings. Where is his puppy? Where is Sarah?!

This is NOT his brother’s room.

This is NOT his family home

Everything is gone

Why is he still sitting there?!

WHY IS HIS BODY NOT DISINTEGRATED LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!

What the hell even is this place?

#virgil evans #would you stay game #wouldyoustay? #yandere virgil #would you stay? #wysvn #virgil #would you stay visual novel #about Virgil #Evans family