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insaneoldme · 3 years

Note

Can you rec buddie fics? Pretty please?

OMG it's my time to shine, bitches!!!

Sorry if I went a little nuts, but this fandom has some of the best writers I've ever seen. I have 186 Buddie fics bookmarked in my AO3,

I'll link here if you are interested in taking a look cause if I put them all here it would be too long. Also, I tried to show here some fics I very rarely see recced, and a little bit o the classics. This fandom has some very underrated authors, everyone in my bookmarks is worth taking a look really.

Please take a look at the warnings before reading, enjoy!!!

I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends to This) by morganofthefairies (Rated E )

Buck and Eddie had always been unconventional. Neither of them gave it much thought – they were just them. Buck and Eddie - partners, best friends, co-parents – just as entangled in each other’s lives as any actual couple in the 118.

Or, the story of how Buck and Eddie went about their relationship in entirely the wrong order.

My Heart's Been Borrowed by ElvenSorceress (Rated E)

aka the one where Taylor gives Buck his ultimate fantasy and uncovers far more than either of them expected, forcing him to confront his long held feelings for Eddie

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by HMSLusitania (Rated E)

Buck 1.0 fathered a child and Buck 4.0 comes into custody.

Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) (Rated E)

Agent [Redacted] Diaz is the best at what he does. Usually. But lately there's this real pain in the ass* who's been ruining his missions: Code Name "Buck."

Keep It On by R_E_R6 (Rated E)

When Eddie walks in on Buck, bent over in nothing but a hoodie, their plans for the night immediately change. Buck's outfit though? Well, Eddie requests that it stays the same...for reasons.

Heart of Flowers / Heart of Gold by ElvenSorceress (Rated T)

Buck nearly loses everything and Eddie has to follow his heart

hungry for your love by evcndiaz (Rated G)

prompt: "who’s gonna write a fanfic where chris is not cooperating with buck and eddie accidentally says “listen to your dad”?"

or; breadsticks are a metaphor for love and boning

keep your eyes on the road by iriswests (Rated M)

A glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light

when things fall into place by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Eddie asks Buck to move in with them during lockdown to help look after Christopher, which leads to certain unresolved feelings being resolved.

Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

Evan "Buck" Buckley has made a name for himself as the independent bad boy of archaeology. At least, until Professor Eddie Diaz shows up with his fedora and good looks and starts beating Buck to the punch more often than not.

Buck hates his stupid six-pack covered guts.

Except for how... he might not.

Objects in the Mirror by SevenSoulmates (Rated E)

The voice had always been around, Eddie remembers it, like a stream of consciousness that babbled incoherently to the point where Eddie just tuned it out.

But then the voice started speaking directly to him. Conversing like he was a whole person standing right in front of him. Like he could see what was happening around Eddie.

Eddie shook his head. No one was talking to him, and Eddie most certainly was not talking back.

He wouldn’t talk to the boy in his head ever again. There was no boy in his head.

ripples all the way down by iriswests (Rated M)

christopher partakes in some parent trapping

dream of some epiphany by extasiswings (Rated M)

Evan Buckley is lost.

It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door.

Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name.

Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

Relationship Advice from Complete Strangers Online by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Hi, I’ve never made a Reddit post before and I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing but I need advice and can’t ask anyone in my real life. So, I [30M] have this best friend [34M]…

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico."

And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?"

In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

fireflies where my caution should be by littlesnowpea (Rated M)

“You never talk about your parents,” Eddie says, which is not even remotely what Buck expects Eddie to say. He frowns, tilts his head, but it isn’t a question, as evidenced by Eddie charging on. “I never asked because I figured it was your business, but the look on your face any time they’re brought up tells me you don’t get along.”

Buck swallows hard, against a lump in his throat. His parents? Eddie’s right, he never talks about them, for good reason. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, not sure what he’s even going to say.

Eddie takes it as the answer Buck is trying to make it out to be. He squeezes Buck’s wrist again, takes a deep breath, like he’s on a call with someone who’s panicking. Buck finds his breathing slowing to match Eddie’s, and Eddie nods as Buck gets it under control.

“There are people on the porch,” Eddie says, voice even. “Saying they want to meet their grandchild.”

Asked, Offered, Given, (He's) Taken by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

People like to flirt with Buck on calls. It kind of makes Buck uncomfortable.

And that makes Eddie frustrated.

I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea.

Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right?

There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

Memorable by JessicaMDawn (Rated T)

Six times Buck got recognized by people he saved during the tsunami, and how his team realized he was a hero.

All Bets are Off by NobodyKnows_U (Not Rated)

Or, the five times the firefam realized Buck and Eddie were in love, and the one-time Eddie finally did something about it.

fire on fire by extasiswings (Rated T)

Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.

Better Together by Randomfandombloggs09 (Not Rated)

5 times Eddie sees Buck wearing his last name and 1 time its not just his

Daddy and Pops by EdithBlake (Rated M)

When Christopher calls Buck 'Pops' things get a bit confusing. Buck and Eddie have a talk with Christopher that ends up with both of them being even more confused by how right it sounds.

the meaning of the words you see by florenceandthemachine (Rated E)

unknown sender: Hi!

unknown sender: Just wanted to say thanks for letting me buy you a drink, and for your number. Sorry I had to run.

unknown sender: I’m Eddie by the way.

sent: hey um

sent: i don’t want 2 be this guy but

sent: i think u mayb put the wrong # in ur phone

the dream you wish will come true by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Christopher Diaz cannot understand why his father would want to date his former teacher when Evan Buckley is right there.

vienna waits for you by mottainai (Not Rated)

Eddie doesn't deserve a soulmate.

Work Husband by hideeho (Rated T)

“What...what have you done with Buck?” Eddie is going to kill him for messing with his phone. No, that’s too extreme. He’s going to maim him. Just a little.

“Check under H,” Chim offers helpfully, shooting a look over to Hen with a smirk.

Why the hell would he be under—

Then he sees it.

Husband.

Bad Neighbors by firstdegreefangirl (Rated E)

Eddie's new neighbors are keeping him up all night. He calls on his best friend for a little taste of their own medicine.

Cross the Line by Sirencalls (Rated E)

Eddie laughs, short and quiet and almost to himself. “No. If you want to learn, then I’m gonna be the one to teach you.”

Buck is pretty sure his brain stops working. “What? Why?”

Eddie turns to look at him and steps closer, their chests only a few inches apart. “Because there are people out there who will take advantage of how naïve you are. They’ll hurt you, and I won’t.” Eddie’s eyes are so intense that Buck doesn’t have any choice but to believe him. “If you want someone to do this for you, to—to dominate you, it has to be me. I don’t trust anyone else to do it right.”

pretty in pink by dykeevans (Rated E)

Buck forgets that he and Eddie made plans to hang out until Eddie shows up and Buck's in the middle of laundry day.

His laundry day outfit consists of a small pink crop top and grey sweatpants.

Eddie loses his damn mind. Me too, though, me too.

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies (Rated G)

“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.”

Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him.

“That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him.

-or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.

Something Old, Something New by dumbhuman (Rated E)

“Damn, I love weddings!” Buck’s face lit up as he closed the door.

If asked later, Eddie wouldn’t have been able to explain what came over him in that moment to make him ask the question. Or, at least, he wouldn’t have wanted to explain. The exhaustion was an easy excuse, but he knew deep down that it wasn’t a real one.

“Why don’t you come with me?”

one of the few things by thatnerdemryn (Rated G)

five times that Eddie tells someone else that Buck is Christopher's legal guardian plus one time he finally tells Buck.

I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Til I Saw Your Face by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Total strangers Buck and Eddie go to couple's therapy together to get out of the therapy requirements their captains have placed on them.

things we shouldn't do by Ingu (Rated T)

“Why is everybody taking my relationship status so personally? Can’t I be fine with being single?” Buck said.

“Hey, you don’t have to say yes, be sad and alone if that’s what you want,” Josh replied. “But, I’m just saying. I’ve seen photos and this guy is volcanic levels of hot. Also, single dad, super cute kid. Saves lives for a living like you. I think you should give it a go.”

(the one where Buck and Eddie accidentally get set up on a blind date with each other, and everything snowballs from there)

Keeping It In The Family by Wolves_of_Innistrad (Rated T)

A young man shows up at the firehouse looking for Buck. Turns out Javier was a Bartender with Buck in Mexico. He’s back in LA, looking to reconnect and very flirty. Cue Eddie realizing Buck is not as straight as he thought.

kiss me (like your ex is in the room) by rebeccaofsbfarm (Rated E)

Eddie Diaz gets drunk and protective and signs up for a fake double date to get back at his friend's ex.

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania (Rated M)

An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is… missing presumed.

While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home

All my Buddie AO3 bookmarks

As I said this fandom has some very talented people, some of my favorite Authors's Tumblrs below, I recommend all the things they wrote and their blogs are very good.

@elvensorceress, @hmslusitania, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @extasiswings

For gifs:

@arrenemris, @skylessnights (very lovely AU gifsets)

@from-nova(good gifs & content)

For Podfics: @mistmarauder everything she ever read is amazing, her podfics are high quality and she has a very lovely voice and her presence calms me down lol I recommend it

I'm sorry there are a lot more people but I'm kinda in a rush haha most of the people I follow are amazing, but the ones I mentioned here are enough to get you started or entertained for a while.

Buddie fics are amazing, this pairing has spoiled me so much, everyone I met because of it is nice and so active and talented.

Sorry mutuals if I forgot someone!

I hope I helped Anon, have fun!

(Tell me if any link is wrong please, thanks)

#buddie #buddie recs #recs #fic recs #911 on fox #911fox #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #ao3

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a-singleboat · 4 years

Text

Heather

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: literally, please do not hate me for this, i just wanted to write domestic dream x reader

Warnings: I think a swear, there’s also a kiss that gets a lil steamy

If there was one good thing about a global pandemic, it was that it meant you got to spend more time at home and less time actually working. Of course, as an educator, you had to still work but at least you got to do it from the comfort of your own desk. The office space was one that you shared with your boyfriend, which wasn’t an issue most of the time.

But if there was one bad thing about a global pandemic, it was that you had to stay home. While your boyfriend was content to stay at home, you were not. Your need to be out and about had you on daily walks nearly every day but as your self-imposed quarantine grew longer, you found yourself opting to stay home.

Though, today was different. Today, you had taken it upon yourself to go out and get the groceries while Clay stayed home to work. And by work, you meant to stream a video that most likely would be extremely loud and distracting and you really couldn’t bring yourself to do any work while that went down.

So there you were, an hour later, arriving back at the home that you and Clay had bought together not too long ago. You’d gotten more than you anticipated to get, finding that it had taken you several trips in between your shopping cart and the trunk of your car to load everything in. You checked your watch. Clay had been streaming for about half an hour before you left and from what you knew, most of his streams didn’t usually last more than two hours.

You called his phone, juggling the milk in one hand and a reusable bag in the other. Your own phone was pressed between your ear and your shoulder as you used your pinky to open up the door connecting the garage to the house. He picked up a moment later.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked. You could hear the sounds of his keyboard clicking in the background, a pang of guilt running through you as you realized that he was most likely still streaming.

“Nevermind,” you were quick to say, setting the milk jug on the counter. “You’re still streaming, just wanted to know if you were done and could help bring in the groceries but I can do it.”

“No, just give me a moment,” Clay said, shifting his focus from you to his stream. “Guys, I gotta go help my girlfriend really quick. Uh, George and Sapnap, entertain the stream for a quick moment.”

You heard him take his headphones off and get out of his chair before the office door opened upstairs. You hung up the phone, grinning as he slid around the corner with a smile on his face.

“Hi, baby,” you greeted him, kissing his cheek when he walked over to you. He blushed, peppering your face in kisses in order to hide his embarrassment. “How’s the stream going so far?”

“Terribly,” Clay groaned, rubbing his upper arm. He had told you that he was doing a stream involving a shock collar but you weren’t expecting him to do it today. “But maybe if you sat in the office and watched while I streamed, it wouldn’t be as bad.”

You scoffed, pushing him away from you. You took up the milk jug, opening the fridge and sliding it into its place. “Or, you can go get the rest of the groceries from the car and then maybe I’ll consider it. I still have to grade my papers, too, bubs.”

“I think the high schoolers can wait a little longer for their grades, babe,” he deadpanned. You looked over at him, laughing when you saw his pouted lip. He’d switched tactics by then, trying to get you to do what he wanted by attempting to look as utterly adorable as possible. It was endearing, that much was true.

“I’ll stay in the room instead of doing my work out here while you stream, how about that?” You asked, starting to unpack the groceries. He immediately perked up, nodding rapidly in agreement with the compromise you offered. You rolled your eyes playfully. “Now go get the bags from the car. You’ve got people waiting on you.”

His eyes widened as he realized that he had abandoned his audience of nearly a million viewers. He ran out to the car and grabbed the groceries in record time, coming back and setting them on the counter before giving you a quick kiss on the lips and yelling, “I love you!” as he disappeared back up the stairs and into the office.

You took your time putting the rest of the groceries away, listening to the faint sounds of Clay in pain for about ten minutes before ultimately deciding that you should make good on your promise.

You entered the room, closing the door behind you before grabbing your laptop and wheeling your chair over next to his. You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before settling in next to him. It was mostly peaceful, Clay trying to hold in his screams as to not startle you each time he got shocked. At one point, he had decided to take a break to try and calm down. You took his hand in yours, rubbing soothing circles into the space between his thumb and his index finger.

“You okay?” you asked, looking up at him in concern. You had finished grading maybe a third of your papers, having been distracted by the gameplay for longer than you cared to admit.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, wincing as he realized his mistake. He pushed the headset off his ears, yelling into his mic for George and Sapnap to shut up before putting it back on. You couldn’t hear what his friends were saying but you could read the chat that was displayed on his second monitor, his viewers going insane as they asked who he was talking to.

He muted his mic as quick as he could, looking over to you with wide eyes. “I’m so sorry, babe. I completely forgot I had my mic on.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, still rubbing circles into his hand. “We’ve been together, what, five years? They would have found out sooner or later.”

“But your job…” he looked at you.

“They don’t need to know my real name,” you giggled. “They’ll most likely end up calling me ‘Dream’s Girlfriend,’ or something. Like how they call your mom ‘Dream’s Mom,’ and Tommy’s ‘Motherinnit’.”

“Are you sure?”

“Talk about me all you want,” you assured him. “But just don’t say that I’m a bitch and that you don’t like me.”

“The bar is so much lower than I ever imagined,” he quoted back at you, laughing slightly as he turned his mic back on. You figured you wouldn’t be getting any more work done that night so you opted to close your laptop. You scooted in closer to him, steering clear of the shock collar on his arm.

“Hey, guys,” he talked to his chat. “Sorry I keep disappearing on you guys. Uhm, I guess we can take this moment to have a chat? I kind of want a break from getting shocked a thousand times over.”

He disconnected his headphones so you could hear the conversation going on between him and his friends as well. Immediately, the familiar voices of George and Sapnap flooded the room, both yelling about how Clay had never told them about you before.

You leaned in closer to the mic, looking back at Clay and laughing for a bit before speaking up. “Hi, guys!” you said. “I’m, uh, Dream’s Girlfriend, I suppose.”

“‘I suppose,’” Sapnap chortled as he repeated your words. You flushed, realizing your most likely poor choice of words. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Be nice, Sapnap,” George scolded the younger man. You couldn’t help but laugh. “She’s probably nervous or something.”

“I am very nervous,” you giggled. You felt Clay’s hand grab yours, squeezing slightly as a bit of encouragement. “Uh, someone in the chat asked how long Dream and I have been dating… It’s been a little over five years now. We celebrated our anniversary back in July, actually.”

“Best five years of my life,” Clay added, reaching out to tickle your sides. You shrieked, squirming away from his hands.

“Baby, no!” you yelled, gasping in surprise as you fell over into his lap. He pulled you in close, settling you on his lap as he read the chat over your shoulder.

“What’s her name?” he read. “Her name is Dream’s Girlfriend. When did we meet? We met while I was still in school, actually. We were friends for, I think, two years before I asked her out.”

You nodded along. “Yeah, two years sounds about right. Also, I distinctly remember it being me to ask you out, not the other way around.” You brought your watch up to your face, noticing the time. “But I digress. I have to go make dinner so you should hurry up and beat Minecraft so we can eat together.”

“What are you making?”

“I’m thinking ziti,” you teased, getting up off his lap. You gave him a quick kiss before leaving him to his stream. You grabbed your phone off your desk before heading downstairs, opening Twitter as you went.

See, that was the thing about total anonymity. You could have a stan Twitter account, decorated by Clay himself, to keep up to date with everything going on in his life. While he asked about your day, you could take your lunch break to catch up on the latest Twitter events.

Today, as expected, the latest Twitter event was you. People were going crazy, tweeting about Dream’s Girlfriend and speculating on who it could be. You liked a few tweets, laughing at the ones that didn’t make sense as the pasta boiled. A few mutuals, people you had actually become close friends with, were messaging you like crazy, all shouting about, well, you.

I wish I were Heather, your friend typed out, sending the audio clip from the five minutes you’d talked during. You got a good laugh out of that, reacting to her message with the laughing emoji. You finished making dinner, occasionally responding to the group chat as you did. About thirty minutes after you’d left Clay, you finally heard him wrapping up the stream, thanking his viewers before signing off.

“I’m gonna head to dinner now,” you heard him say to his friends. You didn’t hear their response but you heard Clay’s, which was, “Yeah, I know.”

He came bounding down the steps about ten minutes later, stretching his arms over his head as he yawned. He rubbed his arm a few times, wincing as he felt the aftershocks from the shock collar.

“Do you want to take a bath tonight?” you suggested, plating the pasta for him. He entered the kitchen, wrapping his arms around your midsection as you finished pouring the pesto sauce on his plate. He pressed feather-light kisses into your neck, tickling you with the facial hair he had grown over the past couple of weeks.

“And maybe I’ll shave,” he contemplated, tickling you further. You giggled, reaching a hand up to scratch his growing beard.

“I like it though,” you admitted. “Makes you seem older, more refined.”

“But you won’t let me do… things when I have a beard.”

“Because when you do things with a beard, it causes, like, carpet burn.”

He hummed. “I’m going to shave.”

“You should check Twitter, by the way,” you mentioned nonchalantly. “Your stans are having a meltdown.”

He pulled out his phone, holding it in front of you as he opened the app. Immediately, his feed refreshed and there was nothing but mentions of Dream and his mysterious girlfriend. One tweet caught your eye, reading, I don’t think that Dream actually has a girlfriend and it’s just Sapnap with a voice filter on.

You both laughed at that one, taking his phone so that you could like it and respond, You got me, with the laughing emoji after. “That’s just going to confuse them more,” he said, shutting his phone off. “But enough about that, dinner looks amazing.”

“Made with love,” you cooed, turning in his arms to give him a kiss. He moved the two of you to the side, pressing you against the counter instead of the stove. Your arms made their way around his neck, twisting into the base of his dirty blonde hair and pulling hard enough to pull a soft moan from his lips.

He was the first to pull away, his need for air outweighing his want to continue kissing you. You continued to kiss down his neck, giggling when he groaned in reaction to you sucking a hickey into his sweet spot.

“I love you,” he said, once you’d finally separated. “And I know that everyone is excited that I have a girlfriend now, but if you start seeing hate, please tell me. I don’t want you to have to go through that alone.”

“I love you, too,” you sighed, tracing shapes into his chest. “And I’m a big girl, Clay. I’m sure I can handle a few trolls on my own.”

He put his hand under your chin, gently guiding your eyes up to meet his. “I know you can handle yourself, but you shouldn’t have to. Promise me you’ll tell me.”

It was cute, how overprotective over you he was. He looked at you with concern, looking to be debating between sending a tweet to his fans to be respectful and making a video and posting it. Most of his fandom was respectful, though there were a few people that went out of their way to send hate.

You sighed, lowering your shoulders and settling into his chest. He rested his chin on the top of your head as you muttered a quiet promise to him. You knew that Clay just wanted to keep you safe, which was part of the reason as to why you gave in so easily. He only had your best interests at heart and you knew that.

“You’re the most important person to me, I hope you know that.”

“I do,” you said softly. “And you’re the most important to me. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

TAGLIST

Permanent

@beautiful-holland @toms-order @starlightfound @grandmascottlang @positiveparker @bippity-boppity-boopa @caswinchester2000 @andreasworlsboring101 @imladylunaticbitch @paige0103

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mah-gah-lee · 3 years

Text

You’re such a bitch - (Charlie Gillespie x reader)

Word Count: 2486 Request: no, again @jatpsmut inspired me with his fic “What Happens in Hawaii Stays in Hawaii - Charlie Gillespie x Reader (SMUT - 18+)”. I asked her if I could use the Hawaii idea and now I am writing this!

However, some details change from the original fic:

“Charlie and y/n haven't been best friends since they were kids, but from the first season of jatp. y/n is an additional actor on Julie and the Phantoms, also a dancer. Charlie didn't confess his feelings to y/n in Hawaii.

The only thing I got from the idea of @jatpsmut is the fact that something happened in Hawaii. So thank you to her for writing this incredible fic, without it this could not happen Summary: You and Charlie were best friends and roommates in LA. One evening, you heard it with a girl, the next morning, everything is awkward, bitchy and everything changes. Warnings: mention of sexual activities - language disclaimer: I don't know Charlie or his family personally or what his life is like. All you will read in this "x reader" is from my imagination. My point is not to invade Charlie's privacy. I don't want to offend him or offend anybody else in his life (family, potential girlfriend…). All of this is not the reality

Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics @standingtalllove @lukeys-giggle @happinessinthedarkesttimes if you want to be tagged in my next fic let me know !

---

You try to focus on the TV show you were watching, but obviously your roommate had company. And that company was way too loud in your opinion. You were rolling your eyes in annoyance when suddenly your phone vibrates, displaying the blonde head of your second best friend. If there was one thing you miss since you came back to live to Los Angeles, it was obviously living with this sarcastic character. Vancouver seemed so far away to you. You picked up your phone and Owen's face appeared.

“Hi sweetie.” Owen told you with a smile “Oh, hey… Why that face?” he clearly noticed your annoyance. "Hi O." you said before complaining "Ugh, I miss living with you in Vancouver so much" "Yeah me too. We had so much fun. But hey, I'm sure we'll have a season two." "I hope so much"

You were an extra cast member on Julie and the Phantoms, you also were a dancer on the first season, just as Tori. You wished so much Owen was right about Jatp season 2 renew but Netflix seemed to enjoy making you patient. But the coronavirus had also literally messed up all your plans. However, you were angry, some series came out long after yours and got renewed while yours stayed on hold. It was clear that fans of the series as much as you were just waiting for the renewal of season two.

A moan came out of Charlie's bedroom with the sound of a bouncing mattress, you rolled your eyes again, groaning with a sort of anger.

"Jesus Christ ..." you complained "Wait, y/n, what's that sound?" “You know what I miss most about living with you in Vancouver O’? Rule #3. " “Rule #3? Rule #3" he seemed to think about what you said when he finally realized "Oh ... Oh! Rule #3! Wait.. Oh my God! Is Charlie being with a chick right now? ” He asked you with stupefaction. "Oh I wish you were wrong"

A laugh came out from you best friend mouth and you gave him a killer look through the screen, making him laugh harder. When you were in Vancouver, living with two boys forced you to set limits and rules for living. The first was; everyone cleans up their own mess. Second, the housework takes turns. Third rule: no one-night stand allowed in the flat. Surprisingly as it may seem, this rule had been followed very well by everyone. But at the same time, the boys' schedules really didn't make time to bring anyone home, and then after all, they were professional. But as soon as Charlie returned from his parents' quarantine, he forgot the existence of this rule, as if it did not apply to Los Angeles. It wasn't like he brought a different girl home every night, or even every month. It might have been the second or third time since you had moved in. But this situation embarrassed you more than you might have thought.

“Owen, don't make fun of me. I've been hearing them for about an hour now. " "Poor you. Now you understand how I felt in Hawaii" he smirked at you. "Wait, what did you say?" you asked him, in shocked. "Oh please y/n ... you heard me clearly"

Of course, you had heard what he said, but you were in shock at the revelation, so you needed confirmation. This story was supposed to be a secret between you and Charlie. The fact that Owen mentioned it could only assume two things.

"Did you hear us in Hawaii?" “I was in the room next door! Of course, I heard you. It's not like you and Charlie are the quietest couple ever having sex ... " "It seems Charlie is the loudest one…" you said, referring to your best friend having sex in the next bedroom. "Oh darling please, I can remind you of what you said that night. You two gave me nightmares." "Please don't. I feel so embarrassed right now"

Last year you went to Hawaii with several cast members and Kenny. A booking error forced you to share a bed with Charlie. It seemed that sleeping with a girl seemed more adequate than two boys sleeping in the same bed. Charlie and Owen had avoided that possibility the second the problem had arisen. One thing leading to another, after a few strong cocktails, you and the dark-haired boy had ended up having a horny night. The shame caused the next day made you both never talk about it again and "what happened in Hawaii will stay in Hawaii". You didn’t know that Owen heard you and it seems that boy can keep a secret for so long now.

The problem was that that night you realized that you felt more than an attraction to your roommate. It went beyond friendship or mere sexual tension at the sight of this Canadian. You wanted every aspect of what you might have experienced with Charlie and more: the laughs, the funny times, the lots of talking, the quiet times watching a movie or just playing Nintendo Switch, the sex. But you also wanted the PDAs, the feelings, just being with him like his girlfriend. But the actor was totally oblivious to your feelings for him, and you didn't even want to try to make him understand it on his own. You just created a shell for yourself and buried your feelings deep within yourself.

“I don’t understand y/n. Why didn’t you tell him your feeling?” “Because I know he doesn’t love me back, O.” “Oh come on! You two are the most stubborn people I ever met!”

Again, for the third time tonight, you've rolled your eyes. You were pretty sure Charlie didn't feel the same way you did. Since Hawaii, neither of you had stepped forward towards each other, but sometimes your behaviors showed that you were more than friends. Another moan was heard from Charlie’s room and Owen's face on the screen was memorable. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were red.

"Okay, y/n. I'm sorry but I don't want to keep talking to you and hear my other best friend hooking up at the same time ..."

You laughed and he hung up the phone not forgetting to say goodbye. You tried to focus on your screen again, your headphones being way too far away for you to catch them. Minutes later you finally heard the distinctive sound of Charlie's orgasm and knew you were finally going to be able to sleep.

…

The next morning you woke up with a high level of fatigue. You casually walk to the kitchen to make coffee. While you were pouring yourself a cup of this much-desired black liquid, a person entered the kitchen.

"Who the fuck are you?"

You raised an eyebrow, bringing your mug to your lips. The girl looked at you with a disgusted face.

"Roommate, darling. Not nice to meet you." "Why the hell are you wearing his shirt?"

A smirk appears on your lips, far too happy that she asked the question. When you were in Vancouver, it wasn't surprising to see you wearing the boys' t-shirts, although you had a preference for Charlie's, there were times when you wore Owen's. The boys never complained about this mania and you had to continue when you moved to Los Angeles with Charlie. The scene was pretty funny, you were there drinking your coffee in a t-shirt borrowed from your roommate while his conquest from last night stared at you in disgust, decked out in another Charlie t-shirt. You took a look at the Looney Tunes t-shirt you were wearing and just shrug your shoulders.

“Old habits.” You simply said. "Yeah, you're gonna have to break this habit."

You laughed disdainfully. You didn't like this girl. Not because it was the conquest of your best friend for whom you had blatant romantic feelings. But rather because she had this condescension and believed that spending a night with Charlie gave her every right.

"What makes you think that, sweetie?"

You leaned against the kitchen counter, your posture offhand, a smirk on your lips. You weren't used to being such a bitch, but the girl in front of you pissed you off. And it was only nine in the morning.

"Well, hello, I spent the night with Charlie." "Oh yeah sure, but that doesn't mean you're dating him." "Charlie is a great guy"

She wasn't wrong. Charlie wasn't heartbroken but he was still human and a twenty-two-year-old boy. Just looking at her you knew your best friend hadn't chosen her for a serious relationship with her. The little conversation you were having with her now confirmed that he couldn't date her. Another smirk spread across your lips as she looked at you with disdain again.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You are nowhere near his level" she said to you

This time, you couldn't help but laugh sarcastically. Yeah, she really pissed you off. Physically, she was everything Charlie didn't like about a potential girlfriend: big breasts, much bigger than him, slightly shallow. Oh but she had a fucking ass and maybe that was why he had chosen her. Her whole body reflected Charlie's choice for a one-night stand, but not the ideal girlfriend.

"Oh honey, I'm nobody, but neither are you. Listen. You were just a one-night stand and me? Me, I'll still be here in his apartment with his t-shirts on when he brings you home, telling you that it was cool but that it will not go further. I will always be there ... "

Charlie woke up and headed straight for the kitchen. He greeted her conquest with a nod, giving her a hello. Instinctively, he approached you and put his hand on your waist before placing a soft kiss on your cheek. Charlie was tactile, it was his language of love. You couldn't help but smirk at the girl, giving her a victorious look. The actor looked at your outfit and a smile appeared on his lips.

"So that's where it was! I thought I lost it in the Galapagos." he was referring to his looney tunes t-shirt

Your attention fell on Charlie and you smiled happily at him. You cheekily handed your cup of coffee.

"Coffee?" "Hell, yeah"

He grabbed your cup and took a long sip, leaving his conquest almost nonexistent to his eyes. The girl was so pissed off that she seemed to be boiling. She cleared her throat, annoyed.

"Hmm, I'm going to go" she said. "Oh wait, let me have lunch and I'll bring you back if you want." "It won't be necessary."

You bit the tip of your tongue, amused, far too happy to hide it. Charlie's conquest returned to his room to get dressed. Your roommate turned to you and gave you a questioning look.

"y/n, what did you do?" "Nothing. We were happily getting know each other. I'm surprised at your choice, by the way" "Are you getting revenge?" "Get revenge for what?" "Since ... Hawaii, you've scared all the girls I've brought back." "Did I scare them? Stop, I haven't acted any differently than usual." “You scared them away,” he repeated. "Oh come on, Charlie, please, it's not like you're going to date them."

He pulled away from you with a look of dismay. You were not wrong, he had never called back the girls he had brought back here, he did not intend to call back the one who was currently in his room. In fact, the only person he really wanted to spend time with was you. But since Hawaii, you seemed to be okay with never mentioning your night together again. This Canadian boy has been in love with you for months, maybe even years now. It quickly fell for you when you were in Vancouver.

"You're right. But I could have ..." he finally confessed "It's wrong. You know it's wrong Charlie, I know you, I'm your best friend. These are not the kind of girls you date. "Yeah… I couldn't date any of them. They just aren't you." He said, his last sentence ending in a whisper before hastening to take a sip from your cup of coffee.

You were paralyzed. Did he really just say what you've been dreaming of hearing for months? Did he just drop it like a bomb, in the middle of a morning conversation between sips of coffee?

“Wait, what?” “Nothing” “It wasn’t nothing, Charlie, you said something” “Nothing important” he repeats “Did you just say that if you didn’t date those girls it’s because they weren’t me?” “You seems to hear voices” “Charlie, I’m not joking… Did you say that?!” “Maybe” “Oh fuck, you’re an idiot!” “I am a..”

You snatched the cup of coffee from her hands and hurriedly put it on the counter. Never mind about the stains on the floor, you will clean up later. You didn't want to miss a second of this possibility. You wrapped your arms around Charlie's neck before resting your lips on his. Your best friend seemed surprised at first so much but quickly relaxed and wrapped his own arms around your waist as your lips moved to give the kiss more tender. The situation was most strange and funny; you were kissing your best friend, running your fingers through his long brown hair. You had to admit that even though you had found him attractive with his Luke's look but you couldn't imagine Charlie without that impressive mass of hair. Luke had short hair, Charlie had long hair. End of the discussion.

So, you were kissing your roommate, making up for lost time while in his room, a girl he had fucked the night before gathered her things. Charlie's conquest stepped out to head for the exit. You broke the kiss making Charlie growl in protest.

"I'm not showing you where the door is." you said. "whore .." the chick whispered.

Charlie stepped away from you and brought his one-night stand to the door, apologizing. He wasn't that kind of boy to go from girl to girl and the circumstances were really strange. The girl left, not without forgetting to curse him. When Charlie walks into the kitchen, you were sitting on the counter, a smirk on your face.

"You're such a bitch y/n" “It's my revenge for keeping me awake last night.”

His gaze was sly, his smile was mischievous and you knew he was going to find a phrase worthy of the fucking boy he could be.

"I can keep you awake for a while if you want." “A date wouldn't be too complicated, Charlie. Please be a gentleman. "You can count on me"

He gave you a softer look and you wrapped your arms around his neck again before kissing him. Ultimately, not everything that happened in Hawaii has to be restricted to Hawaii.

#charlie gillespie #charles gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #jatp #jatp cast x reader #jatp fic #jatp cast imagine #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #julie and the phantoms

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dooandpoo · 3 years

Text

Boo’s clown thoughts about Dan

I just re-watched the Heartthrob video from 2018. I have listened to Dan and Phil playing Heartthrob in 2021. I have watched compilations of Dan and Phil’s liveshows and ✨ gay moments ✨ throughout the years. I am officially qualified to make reaching assumptions about Dan’s psyche, and his taste in men 💅. (I am a clown.)

Dan hides many of his feelings under sarcasm. This essay is predicated on a combination of assuming many of his jokes are actually his real feelings, and also taking into account things he has said with sincerity.

First, he wants to fix people. His whole perspective of Bobby changes when the card “never been kissed” is added — Dan gets all soft and literally says “that’s a game changer”. Phil thinks the same, suggests that everything else of Bobby is bravado, to which Dan heartily agrees. Dan loves himself some 💪 meaty men 💪, but gravitates more to the men that seem soft or personable. “Never been kissed” is a big deal for a cool sexy rich guy in high school, and Dan just knows that he could take care of him. It brings Bobby back down to earth, makes him feel real, makes him someone that Dan could relate to. Dan is obsessed with cleaning, takes forever to plan things, gets worked up when things aren’t perfect, must be in control. But he’s drawn to the imperfect, knows that he can do something with it. Someone that’s already perfect isn’t interesting to Dan. But Bobby, who’s rich and sexy but never been kissed? That’s interesting to Dan, that’s someone he can work with.

Dan is a gold-digger 💷💰 (let me explain). Even before the kissing detail is learned about Bobby, Dan chose him to go to the party with just because he’s rich, because his house would be cool, and Dan could pretend to like him for a night of luxury. Dan is a minimalist, he enjoys things to be simple in his life (as stated in the pizza mukbang video), but he loves opulence .... but not for himself. This is fascinating — Dan doesn’t parade his current wealth around, actively works against it. But. He wants to go to a party at a fancy house with a pool, hang off the arm of some cool guy. He wants to have a “team of stylists” for red carpet events to choose his outfits and dress him up all pretty for the world to see. He loves his fancy trips to beautiful places. He gives his Sims elegant and gaudy accessories and furnishings, splurging in a way he never would in real life. This boy loves him some extravagance and attention, wants to parade around looking like a snack, even though most of the time he prefers being low-key.

Dan loves cultivating a specific image for himself. He spent much of his teenage and young adult life trying to fit in, making sure his hair is perfect, making sure his photos are from the perfect MySpace angle, not being “gay”. His Instagram is a wall of black, broken up by only a few things. This is partially because he doesn’t like choice, can’t commit to things when it’s his decision. He can’t choose something “wrong”. See the mukbang video where Phil suggests just picking different clothes from along the line in his closet, and Dan says “that’s how you get ensembles that look like this” indicating Phil’s absurd get-up. Dan can’t imagine just throwing things on willy-nilly, he must present a completely unified vision of himself to the world. In the Attitude shoot, he was devastated that he couldn’t wear the cool boots, that his hair was too long. He secretly wished that it was a nude or horny photoshoot, joking about this during their first Stereo, because he wants to be noticed in that way. He wants to be seen as sexy and cool, he loves it. He wants positive attention. His mid-2020 thirst post on Instagram is a perfect example of this, playing it off as silly when he clearly was really into it. He does this with most of his photos, needing to look a certain way so that the world sees him as cool and sexy even when he’s masking it behind sarcasm. He knows he’s cute, and flaunts it, even though “flaunting it” means he has to be in control of everything all the time.

Let’s go back to the 2018 Heartthrob. One of the boys’ personality traits is revealed to be “can’t wait to have kids”, and Dan is not having it. 🙅‍♂️ Now, Dan would describe that as his fear of commitment. But let’s look closer. Earlier that year, Dan and Phil met Louise’s newborn baby. Both boys go completely gooey the entire time, entranced by her. Dan gets this look in his eye when he hands Pearl to Phil. He watches Phil closely to make sure he’s holding her correctly, hovers and touches her, needing to protect and feel the inherent trust of a baby. He and Phil keep smiling, and then Dan — out of the blue — gets a far away look and comments that there will be phanfiction of him and Phil adopting a baby. Dan was thinking about having a baby with Phil. But he’s scared, because even though Dan would take care of his baby so well, he’d probably worry his ass off making sure the baby has everything. It’s not just the fear of commitment, it’s that he can’t trust himself to do it “correctly”. Even though he’s been with Phil for years, I think Dan second-guesses himself constantly. A baby, or even a dog, for that matter, would send his anxiety into overdrive, because he can’t be in complete control (even though he’d be the best dad and partner ever).

Time to think about thot Dan. In the end, Dan is horny. He visibly reacts to each of the Heartthrob boys that have their “guns out”, and doesn’t easily deny that he’s interested in Bobby for his arms. And Phil knows that. When Dan asks Phil why he thinks Dan chose Bobby ... Phil stalls. Phil does his best to justify his guess that Dan likes Bobby because of his random personality traits, because Dan would like being driven around in a nice car and to ask Bobby about his dream of being a secret agent, but Phil clearly thought Dan would choose Bobby because he knows Dan loves the meaty lads. Phil knows Dan well enough to know that this boy loves him some skin and some muscle showing. (Hmm, interesting that Dan likes his boys meaty 👀, and frequently refers to Phil as such, even at the beginning of this very Heartthrob video …. hmmmm ... says he’d like to receive a lapdance 💋 from Phil “for the spectacle” .... hmmmmmmmmm.)

Back to “commitment” 💍 issues. During a liveshow from the early danisnotonfire days, Dan is asked for relationship advice. Here, he is surprisingly honest and serious. He says to not stay in a relationship where you’re not happy. It seems simple, but Dan really digs deep here. Dan says that if you’re not going to marry a person, don’t stay with them for even a day longer. Dan said that. Dan is scared of trusting others, he is constantly sarcastic and talks about himself disparagingly, but he is self-aware enough to know that he wants commitment. He wants someone to love him forever, to be by his side. That’s why he says there’s no point in remaining in a relationship if you and the other person can’t see yourself together in 50 years. And Dan had been with Phil (in whatever way that means for them) for a few years at that point, completely comfortable with each other. They were already making huge decisions together, like living together and moving to London and starting a radio show and considering moving to New York together. Dan had committed to Phil at this point, knew that he could see himself still with Phil in 50 years. And Phil had committed to Dan, regardless of if Dan felt sure of that or not.

Even earlier than that, Dan had told a fan on formspring that he loves sleeping in the same bed as other people, not even in a sexual way. He loves human contact, sharing space 😌. We know this because he’s so open to hugs with his fans, wants people around to make him feel safe (by people I mean Phil), and is so exasperated by quarantine because he needs more touch and contact. (Tangent — Phil also loves physical touch, as stated in an old liveshow when he said he prefers cuddles to kisses, and is very handsy 👐 with Dan.)

This doesn’t end in physical touch though. He needs other people around. He wants a companion through life. He misses Phil when he’s gone because he’s scared of the house being empty, because Phil makes him feel safe. He wants another person in his bed because it feels nice to be with someone, knowing they’re there. He wants to have someone to work with, to connect with, to make music with, to share moments with. And now this boy has all of that. He has for the last ten-odd years. But this is scary. Dan isolated himself growing up, built barriers between himself and everybody else. He needs to be control of the situation at all times, embarrassed when he’s not. Dan uses self-deprecating language constantly, complains about his inability to connect with people. But he has Phil. Every day they’re together, I think Dan accepts just a little more that he can deserve happiness, that he won’t lose Phil, that Phil is not temporary. Phil shows him that he is worthy of affection, physical and otherwise, that Dan is allowed to reach out and it’s safe to do so. Dan doesn’t have to be alone anymore, he can reach out and Phil is there.

These nonsense ramblings are just to say that Dan has the perfect life partner in Phil. Phil balances him out, lets Dan be himself loudly and quietly, jokes when Dan is too serious. Phil will never leave him, proving that every day, making plans with Dan in mind. Phil is confident and self-assured where Dan is not. They ease each other’s anxieties, approach their fame in similar ways. They genuinely enjoy being together, not just in their personal life, but professionally as well. They are a perfect match, soulmates. 💕

#i refuse to tag this as d*n and ph*l in case those two lurkers see it #this is complete clownery #i know this and accept this #we can't know what's actually going on in these boys' lives and honestly that's a good thing #this is just for fun #and because it makes me feel soft #i relate hardcore to Dan #so I'm projecting sjkhhsdajfl #long post #mine #rambling

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farty-city · 3 years

Text

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say.

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up”

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty”

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

panic attack

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content?

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade. John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy.

I hope this has given him peace

#i am so sorry for clogging the feed #bo burnham #inside #inside bo burnham #make happy #what.#words words words #bo fo sho #oh bo

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pogues-never-say-die · 4 years

Text

An Evening I Will Not Forget

There’s not enough Rudy fics on here so I wrote one myself. Who’s ready for a Rudy x High School Sweetheart piece?

Also can you tell I have a real lady boner for Dermot Kennedy? His lyrics are just pure poetry and this song just screamed “Alaska Rudy” to me. This one is based off An Evening I Will Not Forget by Dermot Kennedy. Every version of this song is beautiful but personal favorite is the NPR Tiny Desk rendition - you can listen to that here (I even fast forwarded it for you)

CHARACTERS: Rudy Pankow x (High School Sweetheart) Reader

WARNINGS: smut (at the very end so if it makes you uncomfy you can skip), angst, fluff, a bunch of curse words

LENGTH: 6.2k, I couldn’t stop ya’ll

An Evening I Will Not Forget

When love was found

I kept my hope just like I'd hoped to

Then sang to the sea for feelings deep blue

And coming down

And we've had problems that we've grown through

But I bet you dream of what you could do

“Rudy’s coming,” You don’t know why Ellen chose to tell you this while you were chopping limes for the inevitable tequila shots later. The knife almost slips right from your hand.

“I’m sorry what? I didn’t even know he was home.”

“Yeah, umm Steven picked him up from the airport and told him about tonight. He texted Derrick and asked if it was cool with you if he came.” Ellen’s tone is casual but you can tell she’s very excited. She’s always rooted for you and Rudy from day one.

“Well what did Derrick say?” You don’t bother looking up from your task, you’re afraid with how much your hands are shaking that you’ll cut a finger off if you look up.

“He said it was cool,” God if she wasn’t pregnant you could strangle her for that smirk on her face. “It’s cool right?”

“Does it matter what I say at this point?”

“Not really,” she says getting up from her stool to come kiss your cheek. “I love you, tonight is gonna be fun!”

“Yeah yeah yeah, now leave me alone before I cut you with this.”

“You would never do that to me or your future goddaughter,” she gasps heading out the back door.

Rudy is coming. Here. To your house. When you and Ellen planned this party the second quarantine was lifted, Rudy attending didn’t even cross your mind. Even though it was essentially serving as a high school reunion, you figured he was too busy being all famous in Hollywood to come home. Ever since Outer Banks came out he’d been the talk of the town, and even from your studio all the way in Manhattan you’d heard everything they were saying about him in Ketchikan.

You couldn’t even deny it, you’d watched Outer Banks half a dozen times by now. Once COVID-19 hit NYC you packed your bags and caught the first flight out to Alaska, knowing quarantining out here would be a lot easier than being stuck in the Big Apple on lockdown. With your parents stuck in Florida, you had the house to yourself. That meant no one could judge you as you watched it over and over again, crying pretty much every 30 seconds.

You weren’t crying out of sadness though, just the opposite. You were so fucking proud of Rudy. This was his dream, for as long as you could remember acting was his big “What if”. “What if I did it?” “What if I just tried?” Seeing his eyes as deep and as blue as the Alaskan sea on your TV felt like all of the “What if’s” were worth it. A small part of you was also very petty and happy that him leaving you wasn’t all for nothing.

Knowing he was about to be here, in your house, was starting to fill your chest with dread and anxiety. What if he doesn’t speak to you? Or even worse, what if he does? What if he brings a girl? God are you even ready for that.

You put the knife down and grip the counter with both hands. You’d always hoped you guys would find each other again some day but you weren’t prepared for today to be the day.

Deep breath, deep breath. It’s just Rudy. The blonde shaggy haired kid you’d known since kindergarten. Oh and also your first boyfriend, the guy who took your virginity and the only person you’ve ever truly loved. No big deal at all.

You’re both older, wiser. You’ve grown up. You’re real adults now. You have your own health insurance for Christ's sake. It’s just Rudy. Just Rudy. No big deal. No big deal at all.

Right?

At seventeen, I was alright

Was like nothing I could feel inside

And wishing you were here tonight is like holding on

But I still get to see your face, right?

And that's like nothing they can take, right?

So there won't be no feeling in the firelight

Hoping this'll be right

Time to show your worth, child

Rudy was glad you were inside and couldn’t see him panicking as he sat with Steven in the driveway.

“Dude why are you freaking out? It’s just Y/N.”

“I haven’t seen her in 4 years man, are you sure she evem wants me here?” Rudy was terrified of ambushing you at your house. He missed you like crazy but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

“Derrick said it was fine!” Steven argued back, just ready to get inside and get drinking.

“Wait you didn’t talk to her? Jesus fuck dude you know Derrick didn’t either. Fuck I’m so fucked.” Rudy wanted to see you so bad but now he was losing his mind. It’s been a long 4 years.

“Rudy if you don’t fucking get out of the truck I will bring her out here and have her do it. Just think about it, no matter what you get to see her! You get to look at her face in person instead of creepy stalking her on Instagram like we both know you do.”

“Fine fuck.”

As Rudy got out of his truck and climbed your driveway, a feeling of nostalgia came over him. This driveway - he used to sit in it every morning as he picked you up for school. You guys were late almost every day because you could never choose an outfit but he didn’t care.

When he approached the front porch more memories flooded his brain and it was starting to become painful. Right here on this porch is where he kissed you for the first time. He was only 15 when he planted one on you under the porch light, it was clumsy and awkward but still one of his favorite memories.

Walking behind Steven and through the front door, he felt like he had been stabbed in the chest. Everything in your house was still the same. The couch where you guys made love for the first time was still right there, pushed up against the living room wall. All of your guys’ prom pictures were still on the mantle with the rest of your family's memories. Except now displayed front and center was a new picture - you at your Columbia graduation.

Looking at the picture of you holding your degree, Rudy was so fucking proud of you. Getting out of Alaska and going to Columbia had always been your dream. You made it to the big city and you graduated, even getting your dream job right out of college.

While he was admiring your picture, he heard a noise come from the kitchen. And even though there were about 50 people you guys went to high school with packing this house, he could pick that sound out from anywhere.

Taking a deep breath, Rudy turned around to see you sharing a laugh with Steven. God you looked radiant. Your hair was longer than before, darker too. It looked like you finally dyed it like you had always talked about. And your body...wow. Your curves were beautiful, you were a woman now. And if Rudy didn’t deserve you 4 years ago he sure as shit didn’t now. How is it possible that you got more stunning?

Luckily, Rudy had managed to pick his jaw up from the ground by the time you finished hugging Steven and had made eye contact with him from across the open floor plan house.

He saw the way your chest stopped moving, almost as if you had stopped breathing. Good, he wasn’t the only one.

Once he made eye contact with you, his body took control. He couldn’t stop walking towards you even if he wanted to.

I remember when her heart broke over stubborn shit

That's no way to be living, kid

The angel of death is ruthless

Seeing him knocked the breath right out of your chest. It also brought that night back to the forefront of your brain. You’d drank enough, smoked enough, but it was still there - consuming your thoughts like the plague. That night before he left had torn you to be pieces.

4 years ago

“You won’t even try?” The tears running down your face matched the rain outside - just falling with no abandon. There was a storm coming and nothing could stop it.

“It’s not that simple,” he says, sounding exhausted. It's been a long night of just going back and forth over this, but you’re not giving up so easily.

“It is that simple Rudy, it is. You’ve just made a choice without me. You decided I couldn’t handle long distance. You decided it wouldn’t work. You didn’t even talk to me about it. You just made a choice for both of us and frankly that’s bullshit.”

“What are we supposed to do huh?” He’s yelling now, in the 4 years you’ve been dating you’ve definitely had your share of blowouts but you’ve never heard him be this stubborn, so unmovable. “We are literally moving to opposite ends of the country. Do you know how far it is from LA to New York? 2,798 miles. I have it fucking memorized because I sat there and looked at it until my eyes went numb. What other choice do we have?”

“You can try Rudy, you fucking try,” the tears have made their way into your throat and into your chest, making you sound as weak as you felt. “We call, we text, we skype, we send a goddamn carrier pigeon.”

You can tell he’s mad at you for making him laugh even in the middle of a fight because his chuckle dies quickly.

“It’s just not that easy. So what, we’re just going to live digitally? Never see each other? Never touch?”

“It’s a shame they don’t have a giant metal fucking box that can get you from point a to point b rather quickly. Maybe something in the sky? I think it’s called an airplane, have you heard of it? I’m pretty sure the Wright brothers...” You know the snark isn’t necessary but it’s been hours of going back and forth and you’re reaching your breaking point.

“Fucking stop!” Rudy yells, cutting you off, slamming his fist into the steering wheel. He’s reached his breaking point too. “I don’t want to do this but I am. We’re done...there’s just too many variables.”

“After 4 years, I’m just a variable? Loving me is just a piece of the equation you can get rid of to make your life easier?”

“Baby no, that’s not..” He starts but you cut him off.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore. Have fun in LA Rudy, I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.” You say climbing out of his truck and sprinting through the Alaska rain into your house. You’re glad it’s dark so he can’t see through the bay window as you collapse into a ball on the floor.

An hour later when you finally drag yourself off the floor and into your room you check your phone and see a message is waiting.

You open to see an image and a text. The image? A selfie of his chest, where the word “Columbia” is spelled out in bold blue letters on a hoodie.

Him: I will always be proud of you and I will always love you.

Your response is simple but second nature. You’ve responded to his “I love you’s” the same way for 4 years.

Her: Love you always

Now

That was the last time you spoke. 4 years later watching him walk up to you felt like a fever dream.

“Hey Y/N.” It’s weird hearing Rudy sound nervous, he was never nervous.

“Hi Rudy, you look good.” You hate yourself for saying it but it’s true. He does look really good.

“You look...wow. Can I give you a hug?” Is this where we’re at? Asking for permission to touch?

“I’d be mad if you didn’t.” You say with a smile and the sound of his laughter makes your heart soar but also it breaks just a little.

The second his arms wrap around you it feels like home again. You both lean into each other for probably a little too long before you finally decide to untangle yourself.

“Umm, did you see Derrick is here?” Good job Y/N, way to break the tension. Smooth.

“Oh, yeah awesome. I was hoping he would come.”

“Yeah, him and Ellen are in the back.”

“Wait are they together?” He says shocked to hear their names next to each other. Derrick had been in love with Ellen since the 3rd grade. Rudy always joked he loved you longer though.

“Yeah, they’re actually engaged. Ellen’s pregnant too.” That one makes Rudy’s jaw drop.

“Are we at the age of having kids already?” He says following you into the kitchen to grab a beer. You grab two Bud Light’s out of the fridge, cracking them open on the edge of the counter. Your eyes don’t miss the way Rudy shifts in his spot a little, sucking up a breath - he always thought it was hot that you could do that.

“Hell no,” you laugh. “I can’t even keep a cactus alive let alone a human baby.”

“Wait you killed a cactus? Y/N those literally survive in Death Valley. Death Valley.”

You don’t bother to look to see if he’s following you out the door into the backyard, you can still hear him laughing about your cactus.

“It happens Rudy, cacti are very difficult to manage okay!”

The smirks on Ellen and Derrick’s faces are obvious as they watch you and Rudy walk out the back door together and grab chairs next to each other at the bonfire. Ellen winks at you while Rudy leans over to bro shake Derrick. He doesn’t see her wink but he does see you giving her the finger.

“What’s that about?” He says looking at you with curious eyes.

“Don’t worry about it,” You reply, sticking your tongue out at Ellen making her giggle and rest her hands on her growing belly.

And I'm always thinking summertime with the bikes out

Pushing our luck, getting wiped out

Days with nothing but laughing loud

“Wait was that the first or second time you broke your wrist?” When Sarah asks that question you start to laugh, thinking about how many times Rudy has been injured.

“No that was number 3...I think?” Rudy responds, his eyes shine hearing you laugh at this conversation. He knows exactly how you feel about his accident prone-ness.

“How many times have you broken your wrist?”

“4” You and Rudy answer at the same, causing you both to laugh and another smirk to reach Ellen’s face.

“Seriously? What was the first time?”

Now you and Rudy are the ones smirking, thinking back to the first time he broke his wrist.

6 years ago

“Come on baby, just try.” Rudy was trying to get you to ride on the back of his dirt bike but it terrified you.

“I’m serious Rudy no,” You say, holding firm, keeping your arms crossed.

“I’ll go really slow, I promise.” He says from his spot leaned up against the bike. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you in between his legs.

“Would I ever let my favorite girl get hurt?” He asks, running kisses up and down your neck as your fingers make their way into his hair.

“No..” You stutter as his kisses on your neck get more aggressive. You know you’re going to have a mark tomorrow but you honestly don’t know if you care.

“Exactly my love. You’re always safe with me.” He punctuates that last word with a hard kiss to your lips and a slightly harder smack against your ass.

“Fine, fine but go slow okay.”

“I promise I will.”

Climbing onto the back of Rudy’s bike, you put on your helmet before wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Hold on tight okay?” Rudy says before putting his helmet on and starting the bike. You agree, wrapping your arms around his waist in an iron grip.

Rudy keeps his promise and goes slow, probably slower than he would’ve preferred, but his girl was on his bike so he didn’t care. He was happy.

After a couple of laps around his super large backyard, Rudy lets you off the bike first. But, as he goes to get off, the bike's muffler gets caught on the hem of his jeans and he falls over, the bike falling on top of him as he tries to catch himself with his hand.

You start to laugh before you hear him groaning in pain, running over you see him holding his wrist.

“Babe what the hell just happened?” You ask, pulling the bike off of him so he can sit up.

“Ahh fuck, I think I broke my wrist.” He was probably right on that conclusion, it was already bruising and beginning to swell.

Rudy doesn’t say much as you walk him to his truck, loading him into the passenger seat before you climb up into the driver's seat. After a few minutes of adjusting the seat (Rudy does have some pretty long legs) you head off to the ER.

Rudy doesn’t say much as you check in and find a seat in the waiting room. It’s pretty quiet in here so you hear Rudy’s small voice almost instantly.

“Hey babe,” He says from his spot leaning on your shoulder.

“Yeah honey?”

“If any of the guys ask, can you tell them I wiped out doing a sick trick?”

“Of course my love,” You say with a loud laugh, pressing a kiss into his hair as you wait for the nurse to call his name.

Now

“Wait, your pant leg got stuck? Dude you told me you were going like 60 and wiped out on a curve.”

“Oops,” You say with a smirk, pressing the beer to your lips as Rudy stutters to his friend. “I thought they knew.”

“Oh you little monster,” Rudy growls, getting up from his chair at the same time you start to run away.

You can’t see the smile on all your friends faces as Rudy chases you through the yard, grabbing you around the waist and picking you up. The sound of both of you laughing louder than ever fills the backyard. The dynamic duo was back together again and you don’t know who was happier - your friends or you.

Underneath my coat, won't you tap my shoulder, hold my hand?

Nights with nothing but dark in there

You could be my armour then

After the biking incident story, you and Rudy joined your friends again, sitting around the fire and sharing stories. And with every memory that came back, you found yourself moving closer and closer to Rudy until your chairs were right next to each other and your legs were in his lap.

His hands rubbed your calves through your leggings, remembering how much it soothed you. Meanwhile your hands were on his biceps, gripping his new (and bigger muscles) like you were afraid if you let go he would slip through your fingers again.

As the night got darker and the fire burned out, you all made your way closer to the house. Standing on the wrap around porch, Rudy leaned against the railing for only a brief second before he pulled you into his arms.

Being in Rudy’s arms again was like nothing ever changed. He was stronger, broader, his chest sturdier than before as it pressed against your back. But the way you felt was the same - like you were flying.

Standing there with your friends, Rudy wrapped around your back like armor, you felt untouchable.

“What’s going through that pretty head of yours?” He leans to whisper in your ear, you didn’t even notice your friends had been talking on the porch for ages, you zoned out the second he touched you though.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say with a smirk, looking up into his eyes. Did they get bluer somehow?

“I think you do.”

“It’s just chilly out here,” that was only a partial lie. It is very cold tonight but Rudy’s skin was lighting you on fire, you could never tell him though.

“Come here,” he says turning you around so you’re facing him. He wraps his arms around your back as yours circle around his back as well, tucking you into his jacket with your face against his chest.

As you snuggle in closer, your eyes close, just enjoying the moment. Rudy keeps talking to your friends but he keeps you pushed into his chest, refusing to let you move even just an inch.

They ask him about Hollywood, Outer Banks, if he has any celebrity numbers in his phone now. He’s trying to stay involved in the conversation but all he can think about is the feeling of your chest breathing against his, your skin touching his skin.

After a while all of your friends make their way inside but you and Rudy stay there on the porch, just pressed against each other.

It’s peaceful until..

“Hey bitches, SHOTS!” Hearing your high school friends rage inside brings you and Rudy out of your little bubble.

“Come on.” He whispers, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers - sneaking you past the open back door and around the porch to the front.

The second he grabs your hand you know where he’s taking you. The swinging bench your parents installed on the front porch had always been your guys’ sanctuary.

Before you and Rudy got settled into the swing, you snuck through the front door and grabbed a blanket and a bottle of wine.

“My girl is a genius,” Rudy says as you return. He really hopes you didn’t hear him because he can’t believe he just slipped up and called you ‘my girl’. Tonight has been going so great, of course he was going to fuck it up.

“I mean I did graduate top of my class from Columbia, didn’t you hear?” You say with a wink before getting settled in next to him. You did hear the ‘my girl’ comment and you’re doing everything you can to not let it tear you apart from the inside.

You weren’t his girl, not anymore.

Island smiles and cardigans

The nights that we've been drinking in

We're here to help you kill all of this hurt that you've been harboring

Confessions should be better planned

Alone, that night, I'm surely damned

Run away, I'll understand

The party is still raging inside but it’s quiet on your front porch. Just you and Rudy, cuddled up on the porch swing, talking about nothing while you pass a bottle of wine back and forth.

As you cuddle into the cardigan Rudy grabbed you from his truck, you look up to see him smiling as he looks out into the Alaskan wilderness. He must have sensed your eyes on him because then he looks down at you.

“What?” He says with a laugh.

“Nothing, just looking at you.” You laugh back.

As you stare at each other, the smile slowly wipes from his face.

“What? What’s wrong?” Now you’re terrified you did something wrong to mess this up. This was the happiest you’ve felt in years, you don’t want to lose it now.

“I just...I wanted to think this through more.” He says back with a whisper.

“Think what through?”

“How I was going to tell you that I never stopped loving you.” That one caught you off guard.

“I’m sorry what?”

“I still love you Y/N. I never stopped. The past 4 years all I’ve done is think about you. I tried calling you a thousand times but it said your number was disconnected.” He tried calling you?

“Yeah I had to get a new phone like 3 months after I made it to New York. I got drunk and lost it,” You say with a laugh, trying to break the tension. You have no idea what to make of this whole situation. Rudy had been trying to get in contact with you? Wait. No. That realization made you get out of the porch swing and start walking towards the front yard.

“Wait, where are you going?” Of course Rudy wasn’t going to just let you run away.

“You don’t get to do this Rudy, this is bullshit. This is so unfair.”

“Y/N, I don’t…” He tried to cut you off but you were too pissed off to stop talking.

“No Rudy, no. ‘I tried calling you’? It’s the year 2020 Rudy, if you wanted to reach me you could. You know my social media accounts. Steven, Derrick, Ellen - they all had my phone number. You could have asked any of them. You knew where my dorm was freshman year, you helped me pick it! You have my mom’s cell phone number for fucks sake. You don’t get to say you tried when you obviously didn’t.” You’re yelling at this point but you don’t even care anymore. Luckily you and Rudy were the only ones in the front yard.

“When I saw your number was disconnected I thought you did it because of me! I thought you were trying to move on.”

“Move on?” Yup, that one made you chuckle. “I never fucking moved on Rudy. It’s been you since kindergarten. How the hell was I supposed to move on?”

“So you never dated anyone else?” Rudy is honestly surprised you didn’t move on. You deserved to, you were a catch and he didn’t deserve you. How did another guy not swoop you up?

“I mean I dated - it’s not like I was celibate for the last 4 years. I had no issues getting men..or women for that matter. I mean it was college Rudy, I was getting it left and right..”

“Alright, alright I get it next point please.” You had to admit, seeing Rudy get angry when you talked about other people felt pretty good.

“My point is none of it was serious. It couldn’t be because you broke me. When you left me, I accepted that that was it for me. I tried to be in a relationship, a couple times but none of them compared to you.”

“Baby…” Hearing that word come out of Rudy’s made your heartbeat a thousand miles a minute. But it stopped completely when he grabbed your face with both of his hands.

“I can’t do this Rudy, you’re just going to leave me again.”

“I’m not baby. I’m not,” He says wiping the tears as they stream down your face. “I came back here for you. I saw you post on Instagram that you were home and I bought the first flight that I could. I knew I had to come back and fight for you.”

“I don’t know Rudy, I just don’t know.”

What's important is this evening I will not forget

Purple, blue, orange, red

These colors of feeling, give me love, I'll put my heart in it

And I think about it all the time

Lights went out, you were fine

You kinda struggle not to shine

By the time you and Rudy were done fighting the party had long died out. Everyone was either home or asleep in your basement, giving you and Rudy some privacy as you sat in your bedroom.

Rudy was being careful to give you space, sitting all the way across your bedroom on your bed while you sat in the window seat, just watching the sunrise.

“I forgot how gorgeous the sunrise is here,” Rudy said, finally breaking the silence.

“What? The sun doesn’t rise in LA?” You respond, still not taking your eyes off the horizon.

You hear the squeak of your bed as Rudy heaves himself off of it and makes his way over to you. He sits opposite you on the window seat, stretching his long legs out so they come all the way to your hip.

“It does but not like this.” He whispers, not wanting to ruin the peace of this moment. “You have to drive all the way out to the beach just to even be able to see the sun rise through all the smog. What about you? How are the sun rises in the Big Apple?”

“When you have a 5th floor walk up in downtown Manhattan you don’t get to see a lot of sunrises or sunsets for that matter. Sometimes though, you can see it reflect off the buildings like a giant, beautiful mirror.”

“Do you miss New York?”

“A little. I miss a lot of things more though.” You say with a sigh.

“Like what?” He asks, moving your sock covered feet into his lap. He can’t help but admire that even at 22 you still wear cartoon socks, he always thought it was adorable.

“Do I have to say it?” You say with a whisper. Maybe if you say it quietly enough he won’t hear you.

“I really wish you would.” He whispers back.

“I miss you, a lot.” He doesn’t know why you’re still whispering but even hearing you quietly say those words has made his heart go wild.

“But also, you broke me Rudy. You utterly and completely shattered me. I’m not the same girl that got out of that truck 4 years ago. When I moved to New York it was like a part of me was gone. It took a long time for me to feel normal again.”

“I get that, me too.”

“No Rudy, no you don’t get that,” You yell back. Getting up from the window seat you start pacing like you do every time you’re nervous, it helps your brain think. “Are you forgetting we still had each other on social media? I’m in New York crying my eyes out and I see you all over snapchat - sneaking into clubs in LA and going to rooftop parties. Do you know how much that hurts?”

“Y/N, I…” Rudy doesn’t know what to say. He didn’t think about how his partying would hurt you. He was just self medicating, trying to live the LA life and not think about how much he had royally fucked up.

“I’m not the same person anymore Rudy. And that’s because of you. And you don’t get to come back here and pretend like you didn’t destroy me.”

“I don’t want to pretend like it didn’t happen Y/N”. That one really knocked you off guard. As Rudy approached you and grabbed your face he got you to stop pacing.

“I don’t want to move backwards, I want to move forwards.” He said with a one hand grip on your chin, the other hand on your waist.

“I don’t understand…” Looking into Rudy’s eyes you can see the moisture swimming in the corners, making them look bluer than ever.

“I don’t want to pretend like it didn’t happen. It did, it’s part of our history. And honestly, if I could take it back I probably wouldn’t. Because you and I needed to grow up. We needed to experience the world outside of Ketchikan. We needed to be our own people without each other. And now that we’ve done that, we can come back together. For real.”

Turning around, too scared to keep looking Rudy in the eyes, you watch the sun fully peak above the horizon, filling the sky with some of the most beautiful colors you have ever seen. Hues of purple, orange, yellow, blue and red take over everything you see.

“It’s beautiful,” You whisper as Rudy’s arms find their way around your waist from behind.

“It really is, it’s the start of a new day.”

“A new day.” And with that realization that it is a new day, a new time - you turn around so fast that it catches Rudy off guard a little. Slamming your lips into his, Rudy catches up real quick. I mean come on, he’s only been dreaming about this moment for 4 fucking years.

Rudy let’s it all be under your control, your terms. He waits for you to walk him over to the bed and push him down, straddling him as your tongue relearns the taste of his mouth.

As you grind your hips into his, Rudy has to break away from your mouth to moan. You take that opportunity to run your lips down his jawline and to his neck, sucking a bruise into the area as your hands make their way under his shirt and start pushing it up.

“Baby baby baby, wait wait wait…” Rudy says out of breath, his pupils blown out as you make eye contact with him. All of a sudden you’re very self conscious.

“Wait...do you...do you not want this?” Rudy’s heart breaks at how nervous you sound.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I want this, of course I do…” He says running his hands through your hair. “I just want to make sure you do. I didn’t come here for this. So I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page.”

He’s such a gentleman that it simultaneously pisses you off a little while also making you incredibly turned on.

“Rudy, let me put it this way…” You say, learning down to suck on his ear before whispering into it. “If you don’t make me cum right now, I’m more than happy to handle it myself.”

“Oh you little minx.”

I still love you, though

I still love you always

So hold me when I'm home, keep the evenings long

Let's not crack and break and part ways

It’s for real, it’s for real.

Making love with Rudy was different now. Both of your bodies had changed and matured but that’s not what was different. The feelings, the emotions were stronger.

“Baby please,” he says with a whine as he hovers above you, still slowly thrusting into you like he wants this moment to last forever. “Please cum, please.”

“I’m so close, I’m right there.” Running your fingers down his back you know he’s going to have scratches tomorrow but you don’t care. You don’t care about anything other than the way he’s perfectly filling you up. You’ve been empty for so long that you never want this feeling to end.

“Look at me,” his voice is commanding now. You open your eyes just in time to see his hand snake down in between your bodies as his other keeps him propped up above you. “I love you. I love you so much. Cum for me baby, please. Cum for me.”

Between his begging, his perfect rhythm, and his fingers rubbing circles on your clit, you fall apart. Rudy isn’t far behind you as you feel his hips stutter and you’re filled with warmth.

Once you both finish riding out your orgasms he doesn’t pull out, you two stay connected as he collapses on top of you.

“Did you mean it?” You whisper combing your fingers through his hair.

“I’m literally still inside of you, do you really want to talk about this right now?” He says with a laugh, making you shake from the way your bodies are still connected.

“Well you could pull out.”

“We both know that’s not happening anytime soon,” There’s that classic Rudy smirk. “Of course I meant it. We said ‘always’ right?”

“Don’t do this to me Rudy,” You can feel the tears building in your eyes. God could anything be more embarrassing then crying in front of the boy you love while his cock is still in you? “Don’t say something you don’t mean”.

“I mean it, I’ve always meant it, I’ll always mean it,” He says, punctuating each part with a kiss on your face. You whine as he pulls out of you, the emptiness in your body and your heart growing again.

You expect him to get up and leave but instead he sits up against the headboard, pulling your naked body into his lap so you’re straddling him, nowhere to look but directly into the blue abyss.

“We’re older now. Smarter. You have money, I have money, we can fly to see each other every weekend if we have to. You can come stay with me on set and I can come stay with you in New York when I have breaks. We can do this, for real this time. Two adults, in love. I want to do this.”

You don’t know if it’s your previous orgasm or his words that knock the air out of your chest.

“For real?” You ask, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“For real.”

“I still love you” he whispers into your lips.

“I still love you always”.

TAGLIST: @tangledinsparkles @iamaunicorn4704 @devil-in-those-eyes @spilledtee

#rudy x reader #rudy pankow #jj outer banks #jj maybank #outer banks imagine #rudy pankow x you #obx imagine #jj imagine #rudy imagine #original writing #dermot kennedy #music #playlist #obx smut #smut #rudy pankow smut

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marksloan · 3 years

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woah, can you tell us what happened with your dad and aunt? and how buzzfeed wanted to help? i am so curious

oh lord this is a story and a half. i can't believe i've actually never spoken about this before??

if you want a story about a messy family, buzzfeed unsolved being like aight yeah this is sus we want to help out, and my dwindling sanity, this is all going to be under the cut~

also side note, i have receipts of most things because we were terrified that my dad was going to gaslight about everything which, eventually, he did. we also knew that a lot of things were going to be deleted off of the internet for reasons we didn't know, so this is why i have a lot of shit just lying around omg. i literally sat here and watched every piece of evidence get deleted as i refreshed the page so this is the best i can do

TD;LR: we found out that my dad had a secret twin sister and he did everything he could to hide her from us alongside her mysterious death.

a few years ago, i started doing ancestry so i could find my family history and one thing lead to another and i found out that my aunt on my dad's side had also made a tree. while going through the birth records for births in the same area/time frame as my dad's birth, i found that there was a second kid listed under a mother with the same last name AND maiden name (because they list both the father and the mother's last name) alongside the same area code. this was super weird because neither name is super common and it was just a little too weird.

(name blocked out because ohhh boy this is supposed to be a sensitive family issue LMAO)

(here's some receipts of me messaging a friend on facebook because this whole situation is insane and i feel like i need to back myself up bc not even i'd believe myself omg)

flash forward to me going onto my aunt's family tree and finding out that she'd listed this random woman as my dad's twin sister. beyond sketch. we have never heard of this random woman and, when i mentioned it to my mother a few weeks later, she had no idea about it either, although, after a few days, she did recall a conversation she'd had with my uncle (my dad's older sister's husband) when my parents had just started dating. she said that he'd made a comment about my dad and just jokingly said 'oh, it's like a twin thing' and, very confused, my mum had played along. she hadn't thought much about it until i was sat there showing her screenshots of some random woman on my aunt's family tree. basically, she was fairly sure that it was right just from the genuine vibe of that side of the family, they're ex-military and very secretive and we've always got the feeling that something was a bit off.

she told me not to mention it to my dad and like a dumbass i did. i told him about the random woman on this family tree and he was PISSED. he told me that it was wrong and that 'it was easy to get lost and find the wrong people', despite being an account that was actively linked to his older sister's facebook account, and i decided to drop it. my dad can make your life hell when he wants to and i just left it alone.

but then my sister got involved oml. she picked right where i left off during quarantine in the summer and immediately dove right into this twin sister mystery. she discovered that this woman had died in the 90's, right before my parents got together, right in the vicinity that my dad's family moved (which, if you remember, they're military so they basically moved around the uk a lot. for someone who was originally was born in the north of the uk to randomly turn up and die in the most specific, random southern town was more than a coincidence.) however, my sisters ability to investigate extended a lot more than I did; she actually messaged my aunt over facebook and asked about this mystery woman that.

it didn't go well.

at the same time, she started tweeting about it on twitter and jokingly started saying 'oh maybe buzzfeed unsolved would be interested?'. this all happened around a week after aria uploaded his first(?) video investigating his father's best friend disappearing. i'm not sure what drove my sister to message aria but she eventually sent him a message on instagram and he (somehow???) responded and was very interested in helping us with our little family mystery.

this is what he sent my sister in response to her DMS.:

basically, this woman was impossible to trace. she only had a birth certificate and a death certificate, which in itself is very weird because in the uk you can at least follow people around the country with the regular census.

when my sister messaged my aunt we noticed that my dad was getting a lot of text messages constantly while he was out in the garden. we were deadass sat there listening to his phone just ping over and over. so my sister (like a stan twitter psychopath) decided to reset her twitter password, of which was linked to my dads phone and ended up actually going through his text messages.

i can't find the sc (my sister got a new insta account and it's what she sent me all the scs through) but if i remember rightly she sent him a message that was like: they're asking about [insert nickname for the twin sister] what should i say? and my dad I SHIT YOU NOT answered with i'll handle it. like I'm sorry sir is this an action movie? ur a taxi driver not james bond sit the fuck down.

(EDIT I FOUND IT IN A FACEBOOK CONVO)

f(he also, notably, lied to us and said that his sister had all of the family photos ~~~ imagine the way my ass fell out of my stomach when i read these text messages.)

we mentioned aria to my mum and explained how he might be able to help but she was very against it. instead, she took me and my sister out for dinner when quarantine eased (cmon eat to help out) and sent my dad a thick ass paragraph. i can't remember what it said for sure but there was something like 'do you want to be remembered as a liar by your kids because they're either going to find out the truth now or after your dead? its your choice xoxo'. god I'm so excited for the therapy I'm going to need in twenty years about my trust issues.

basically he admitted that it was true, but only over text message. he didn't give us any information, nor will he admit it in person or even speak about it. we know nothing other than the fact that this woman caused a lot of family drama and probably trauma and that they refuse to talk about her due to something she did to my grandmother (who as you can tell from the ancestry sc above, is long deceased.) basically this whole thing was a shit show and eventually aria agreed that there were too many messy factors, mental health and privacy etc.

there's a lot more involved surprisingly that i had to condense into this post but hopefully that explains it a bit. like i said, i'm beyond excited for this to cripple my ability to trust my family and men in particular and i'm just so excited for the therapy I'm going to need!

#buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed #soph talks #true crime #answered #anon #soph answers #aria inthavong #storytime #god this is so messy reading it back and i've missed so fucking much

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years

Text

Bubble Wrapped - Part 2

Word Count: 4,247

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, NSFW, Smut, Please read the note in the Masterlist

Teams: Bruins, Caps, Flyers, Lightning and Pens

Notes: Ok so here we go with Part 2. I hope you guys enjoy this. I’m trying to add some of the suggestions that I’ve gotten in. Please feel free to send me an idea if you have it and I will try and work it in. Also I would love your feedback on this, as well as tell me what players you want to see. With that Happy Reading!!!

As you made your way down the long hallway to Conference Room three, you realized that you didn’t pack enough flats for these next several weeks. If things were going to happen this fast you definitely needed to ditch the heels for a pair of running shoes instead. You couldn’t imagine what had gone wrong in this short amount of time. By your calculations, the Capitals should be in there now having dinner. The Pens were Conference Room one, two was being cleaned from when the Flyers were in there and then the Lightning would go in, and the Bruins should’ve been long out of three before the Caps even went in. Even though you had everything timed out to the minute with ample time in between, you knew things were bound to go wrong, but you didn’t expect to see your conference room in complete shambles.

“What the hell is going on?” you asked Alexis as you took in the room. Food was thrown everywhere. It was on the walls, on the floor, and on the plexiglass where your servers stood; it was even on the players, even though there were only a few of them in the room itself at the moment.

“Well, you see those guys there,” Alexis pointed to a table where David Pastrnak, Brad Marchand, and Charlie Coyle all sat. “They were still eating and I had the room cleaned just like you said, but let them go because the plane was late. I totally thought they’d be done before these guys showed up.” You looked over to where Tom Wilson, TJ Oshie, and Jakub Vrana sat, some green vegetable hanging off the shirt of Oshie. “They said it wouldn’t be a problem and I only left for a second, when I came back they were already throwing food at each other.”

“Where’s the rest of the team?”

“I sent them over to Conference Room one since it’d already been cleared out.”

“Alright, go make sure everything is fine with everyone else and I’ll handle this.” Alexis scurried out of the room, as you surveyed the damage. “Alright which one of you guys started this?” They all acted like you hadn’t said a word. It was seriously like dealing with a bunch of kindergarteners. You walked over to the Bruins table first. “It’s a little ironic is it not, that they call you Pasta?” you said picking noodles off of David Pastrnak, his shoulders shook as he tried to contain his laughter. Maybe you’d have luck with the Caps players. “What about you? You guys have anything to say?” When no one said anything, you had no choice but to say. “Look you know I can go to the league with this and you guys can be sent home.” While it was true that you could do this, you doubted a little good fight was going to get anyone sent back. “But I don’t want to do this, we’re only a few hours into this...guys, can’t we try and make this work?” They seemed to mull this over yet still no one said a word. “Fine, you and you,” you said pointing the Wilson and Pastrnak. “Come with me. The rest of you have five minutes to get to your rooms.”

“Why us?” Pasta asked.

“It’s obvious, you two started it.” They both seemed taken back by the statement, so you explained further. “You both have more food on you than anyone else.”

“Well, she’s not wrong,” Oshie muttered and you were barely able to contain the laughter that bubbled inside you.

“Now, I suggest you get going as your down to four minutes.”

“But I haven’t even got to eat yet,” Vrana whined.

“Call room service.” You then told a few of the staff to clean up the mess and close off the conference room until the morning, then turned to the two culprits that were picking food off themselves to the side. “Come with me.” They turned and followed you up to your suite, which had basically become your makeshift office. Once you were inside, you turned to both of them. “Now, tell me what this is about?”

“No way you have a pool table,” Wilson stated. God, men could be so simple-minded at times. They got so easily distracted.

“Yes, Tom, it’s a pool table. Now can we focus on the matter at hand?”

“I’ll play you? Whoever wins has to follow through with the bet.” Pasta immediately said, as if you weren’t even in the room.

You stuck your thumb and index finger in your mouth, squealing out a high-pitched whistle for the boys’ attention. They both turned in your direction then. “Now that I have your attention. You’re not here to play pool. You’re here to tell me what the hell happened in my conference room and how it will never happen again.”

“You know you’re even hotter when you’re angry.” All you could do was roll your eyes and cross your arms, at Wilson’s comment. He must have noticed your impatience, for he finally added. “Look it’s a stupid bet we had last season, that he didn’t follow through on when he lost, that’s what started the food fight.”

“I didn’t lose.” Pasta insisted. “I won, and you know it.”

“You did not.”

“Woah, stop!” You hollered as the two started to bicker back and forth. “Are you saying this can all be settled with a game of pool?”

“Yeah!” They both answered simultaneously.

“Perfect, then have at it.” You motioned to the pool table and Pasta headed in the direction only to be stopped by Tom’s arm.

“So, what’s in it for us?” He asked.

“I’m sorry what? I’m giving you the opportunity to solve your damn problem.” You fairly spat the words at him.

“Yeah, but you’re also getting something out of this. I’m just thinking that we could all get a little something out of this.” He looked over at Pasta, who seemed to catch on to his meaning.

“What exactly do you want? It’s not like I have a ton to offer, and don’t forget I can still turn you both into the league.”

“Nothing major, just a little kiss.” Why you were surprised when Tom suggested that, you weren’t entirely sure. Let’s face it, you knew they were stuck in this bubble without female companionship. Hell, you were in the same situation, well maybe not the same since you were surrounded by a bunch of hot NHLers. You just didn’t expect this so early in their quarantine here.

“Fine, but after this stupid bet is settled.” They nodded their agreement, then headed over to the pool table. You barely paid attention to the game, texting Alexis to make sure everything was running smoothly downstairs; which it was. It seemed that Pasta was stripes and Wilson was solids, and it definitely seemed like Pasta had the upper hand. When you finally gave your full attention over to the game, you couldn’t help but notice when Tom leaned over the table how nice his ass was. Both men were well-toned and muscular in all the right places and you knew it wouldn’t be a hardship kissing either of them or anything else for that matter. When David stretched out to make a shot, you noticed his tattoos and your fingers itched to trace them. To say you were getting hot and bothered by these two men was an understatement.

The game started to get intense as fewer and fewer balls were on the table. Pasta missed his shot, turning it over to Tom; who literally started to run the table. It was as if he couldn’t miss. Finally, he was down to just the eight ball. If he made the shot, he would win and the game would be over. He took a deep breath, the action making you take notice of how his shirt strained against the muscles of his chest. Lining the cue up, he took the shot, and the black ball sunk into the pocket just like he had called. A bark of laughter left Tom’s lips. “I told you I was the winner before. Pay up Pasta.”

You had to admit, you were curious how much money was on the line that would cause all this trouble. David, for his part, just shook his head and pulled out his phone. It must be a huge sum if he had to transfer it from his bank account. “What do you want me to tweet?”

“I’m sorry did you just say tweet, as in Twitter?”

“Yeah,” Tom said looking at you as if you were the one that was out of your mind and not him. This whole damn mess was over a stupid Twitter message. You literally wanted to scream, but instead, you just listened as Tom told David what to say. “All it has to say is, ‘In my opinion, Tom Wilson is the best goal scorer in the league.’”

“Done,” Pasta announced shoving the phone in Wilson’s face. You had to lean over Tom’s shoulder so that you could see it as well, for you still couldn’t believe your entire conference room was in shambles over something so juvenile.

“Well, now that, that’s settled boys, I assume I won’t have any more problems from the two of you in my hotel.”

“Oh, you still have your part of this bargain,” Tom said, gliding the back of his finger down your arm. You suppressed the shiver the sensation gave you.

“Alright, who’s first then.” You were never one to back down from a bet and this was no exception.

“By all means,” Tom motioned for Pasta to go first.

David took a step toward you, wrapping a strong arm around your waist as he pulled you close to him. Your hand pressed against the rock-hard muscles of his chest before making its way to the back of his neck. He brushed a lock of hair from your face, then placed his hand gently on your cheek to caress it before his lips came down on yours. The kiss was gentle, yet firm at the same time and you opened tentatively so that he could slide his tongue into your mouth. His hand which rested at your back pulled you in closer and you went willingly. You had a feeling if Tom wasn’t watching this would turn into something more than just a kiss. But Tom was watching and waiting, and you weren’t willing to give David anything more with an audience. So you gently broke away, allowing him to chase your lips with a few last kisses.

“You may have won the little pool match Wilson, but I doubt you’ll win anything more with this one here.” Why did everything have to be a competition?

You turned toward Tom, fully expecting him to take you in his arms and kiss you senseless. Instead, he grabbed you around the waist only to whisper low in your ear. “Another time princess, maybe when we don’t have eyes on us.” He released you then but then turned back. “I will be back for that kiss you owe me.” With that the two left your suite, leaving you a bit dazed and breathless, and longing for that kiss as well.

Shaking yourself, you brought yourself back to the present and what needed to be done at the hotel, instead of daydreaming of what kissing Tom Wilson would be like. A quick call to Alexis told you that all the players had eaten but there were still a few milling about in each of their designated workout areas. You slipped out of your business attire and opted for a comfy pair of leggings with an oversized shirt to make one more round through the hotel before calling it a night.

You ran into Carly in the lobby. “So how’d everything go on your end? Any outlandish requests for something to be brought in?”

“Not so far. I think the Pens want some extra gym equipment, but I’ve got it covered.”

“I knew I put the right woman in charge.”

“Speaking of being in charge? What the hell happened with Conference Room 3?” You rolled your eyes.

“Food fight.”

“Oh, I heard that. I also heard you took two of them to your room?” she wiggled her eyebrows at you suggestively before elbowing you in the ribs.

“Had to get everything straightened out.”

“And…”

“And maybe, I might have kissed one of them.” She gave you a mocked look of shock.

“Nothing else?”

“Not at the moment, though I do owe the other one something, and let me tell you I won’t mind paying off that debt at all.” Just the thought of Tom holding you had you hot and bothered. “And on that note, I’m going to finish up down here before calling it a night. I think Tim has the night shift tonight if anyone needs anything.”

“Yeah, he does. He’s back in the office, making sure things are ready for breakfast. I just told him I was done for the night. I’m heading off to bed, don’t have too much fun down here.”

“Me, what about you, Car? There’s not some hot NHLer waiting in your room?” She headed for the elevators but turned back to answer you.

“Not tonight, but tomorrow could be a whole other story.” With that, she was gone as the elevator doors slid open and shut again.

You headed off to make sure the conference rooms were fine. When you noted that everything was in place, you went to check on the workout rooms. They were supposed to be cleaned periodically throughout the day, but with being open twenty-four seven; you wanted to make sure housekeeping wasn’t slacking. A quick walk past the Capitals and Pens rooms showed that no one was in there and they were spotless. As you went into the Flyers' workout facility, you could see someone inside. You tried to cough discreetly as to not scare them, but they didn’t hear you. The room had a few mirrors around it, but he happened to not be looking in any of them as he was doing squats with some free weights. He had his shirt off and a tight pair of shorts on, that let you see every muscle as he crouched down working on his quads and other various leg muscles. A few droplets of sweat had formed on his body and you itched to dry them off for him. Your mouth went dry the longer you stared at him as you were trying to make out the tattoo on his arm. It was at that moment that he caught you staring, a knowing smiling crossing his face. “Sorry…” you stuttered out after being caught red-handed.

“I’m not.” He dropped the weight down on the bench beside where he was working out before grabbing a towel and wiping off the sweat on his body. “Did you come to use the equipment or did something else bring you here?”

“Something else,” you realized the mistake as soon as the words left your mouth. “I mean…I was…” In a few short steps, he was standing in front of you and suddenly you couldn’t quite remember why you were there.

“Something else works for me.” He leaned his hand against the wall behind your head; his body so close you could feel the heat coming off of it.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to compose yourself, as you didn’t need this man to get under your skin as much as he was. “I was just making sure everything was fine in this room. I didn’t mean to disrupt your workout. I’ll let you get back to it.”

You made a move to back out the door when he grabbed your hand. There was an electricity in his touch and had you both looking down to where his hand touched your body. “Don’t go…I mean, I was done…” It was nice to see he was just as flustered as you were for a moment. It put you both on an even playing ground after you’d been caught staring at him. “I’m Travis by the way, most people call me TK.”

“I know.” You replied, before adding. “Konecny from the Flyers.”

“Well, now you have me at a disadvantage.”

“I’m (Y/N). I manage the hotel.” You said almost extending your hand to shake his and then realizing that wasn’t acceptable at the moment.

“Oh, so you’re the one in my little handbook to call if I have any problems.”

“That’s me. Here to help you in any way I can.” You let the innuendo hang in the air a bit and you saw its meaning wasn’t lost on him.

“So if I told you there was a problem in my room, would you send maintenance to come look at it or would you do a thorough inspection yourself?” Oh, he was smooth, you had to admit that.

“Well, it wouldn’t make sense to call maintenance when I’m right here, now would it?”

A raise of his eyebrows was your answer back before he went over and grabbed his shirt and belongings. “Then I think we should definitely go check out that problem.” His hand went to the small of your back as he led you out of the room and to the elevators. “I’m in room…”

“Five-twenty,” you supplied.

“Should I feel special that you know that?”

“Do you want the honest answer?” He shook his head yes. “No, it’s my job to know who’s in what room. In case you haven’t noticed this whole thing is kind of a big deal. I have all my I’s dotted and my T’s crossed.”

“So you know every guys' room number here?”

“It sounds a little pathetic when you put it that way.” Maybe pathetic wasn’t the right word, but desperate was one you didn’t want to use.

“No, I’m actually impressed.” He tilted his head looking over at you as you pressed the number five in the elevator. “So if I asked you what room Brad Marchand was in you’d say?”

“That I can’t tell you that, but it’s in the teens and about three floors up from you.” He chuckled softly and you realized you liked the sound of his laugh.

The two of you walked in silence the rest of the way to his room. Thankfully, there weren’t any players milling about in the hallway. “This me.” He said when you were in front of his door. He fumbled with the key, then opened it.

“What seems to be the problem? TV not working? View not to your liking?” You teased and he caught on quickly.

“Actually, it’s the mattress. I swore I heard it squeak earlier.” He tossed his t-shirt and keys on the dresser.

You moved to the bed, pressing on the mattress. “Hmm, seems fine now.”

He grabbed at your waist then, pressing you close to his body. “But see, I’m a very active sleeper. You can’t get the full effect unless you’re on the bed.” He tossed you back onto the mattress and a giggle escaped your lips. Travis crawled on the mattress then, stalking his way up your body. “Didn’t seem to do it then either. I think we’re going to have to give it a thorough workout.”

“But of course, I mean I want you to be completely satisfied with our hotel service.” A half-smile appeared on his face for a split second before his lips were crashing down on yours. His lips were soft yet sure, and you opened immediately for him; his tongue sweeping inside to tangle with yours. He was a good kisser, that was your first thought, and you wouldn’t mind just doing this all night. But then he was pressing his hips into your body and realized you wanted more. Your hands glided up his back, feeling his slightly damp skin from his workout.

He finally broke the kiss, both of you needing air. His hands gathered your shirt, but then he stopped himself. “Can I?” You moaned out a yes, wanting as little clothing between your bodies as possible and he hauled you up so he could take the oversized shirt off. “This is pretty.” He commented, while lightly tracing the lace of your bra. “I think I’d like it better off though.” Travis hands worked around to your back unclasping your bra and toss it to the side. “Fuck, these are perfect,” he breathed out as he drank in the sight of your breasts. His mouth was on them then, taking a peaked nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. A moan left your mouth and you could feel yourself growing wet as he continued to lavish your breasts.

Snaking your hands around his neck, you drew him back down onto the mattress with you. He rolled you both onto your sides, his mouth coming back to yours so he could kiss you again. Neither of you was in a rush, as your hands ghosted along his chest and his played with your nipples. Time sort of stood still, as the two of you just laid there kissing slow and sensually. After a while, Travis pushed you back against the mattress, your legs on either side of his waist. He flexed his hips into your clothed core and you felt a rush of wetness between your spread legs. He continued to roll his hips into you, as his mouth alternated between your breasts. You lay there panting and moaning with each flex. “TK…” you finally breathed out. “Stop teasing.”

“Oh baby, you haven’t seen me tease yet.” As if to prove his words, he sat back on his legs and started to remove your leggings. He only rolled them halfway past your hips, then brought the waistband up before snapping it back down on your core. Heated flooded you there and the moan that left your mouth was almost obscene. “You like that?” and he repeated it one more time before stripping of you of both your panties and legging. “Fuck yeah you do. You’re soaking.” He didn’t have to even touch you to see how wet you were. He wasted no time, inserting two of his fingers in you as his mouth sucked on your clit. You about came off the bed. He continued to work his fingers in and out of your body as his tongue made kitten licks on your nub. You could feel your body tingle as the orgasm started to build. It hovered there, just beyond your reach and you threaded your hands in TK’s hair urging him on; only to have him stop.

“Travis…” you whined out.

His eyebrows shot up. “That’s teasing babe.” You groaned in frustration as his fingers left your pussy. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it better in a sec.” He pushed his shorts down his hips, then kicked them off. His mouth coming up to cover yours and you could taste yourself on his lips. With one smooth glide forward, his cock pushed into you; your hips rising up to meet him. “Fuck you feel good.” He moaned out, then started to pump in and out of your body. It was a slow pace at first as he was building up a rhythm for the both of you to follow. “Yeah babe, that’s it.” He praised as you met each of his thrusts. The combination of his teasing beforehand and steady pace, had you back on the edge in no time. Travis leaned in close to your body, your faces merely inches away. “Come on baby…I know you’re close….” He sped up then, his cock hitting that sweet spot perfectly. “That’s it.” You went to scream as a wave of pleasure washed over your body, but he captured your mouth swallowing the sound down as he came with you. He pumped inside you a few times, just reveling in the feel of your pussy clenching around him, before breaking the kiss so you both could breathe. When he was finally spent, he collapsed onto his side, rolling you with him. “That was…”

“Mmm, I agree.” You whispered back. “Though I don’t think your mattress has any problems.”

He laughed and you felt the vibrations in your body, as he held you close to him. “Who could tell with all your moaning.” He teased back then flicked your nose.

“Me? I wasn’t the only one.”

He shrugged a shoulder as if he didn’t want to admit he was just as loud as you. “Hope the walls are thick here.”

“They’re decent, just don’t give me away if Hart asks you any questions in the morning.”

He laughed out a, “never.” You pecked him on the lips, then started to get out of bed. “Where are you going?”

“I’ve got things to do.”

“Things or other people?” You couldn’t quite tell if he was teasing or jealous.

“Things… but you have my number if the mattress suddenly starts squeaking again.” You gave him a wink as you shimmied on your leggings and threw on your shirt.

He grabbed your hand and brought you down so your face was inches from him. “I have a feeling it may act up again.” His lips were on yours kissing you hard and fast.

“I’ll be waiting for your call.” With that you headed out the door, quietly shutting it before walking down to the elevator. Well, day one was definitely interesting. You couldn’t wait to see what day number two would bring.

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sanchoyo · 3 years

Text

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

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celestialmazer · 3 years

Text

Julie Mehretu, Hineni (E. 3:4), 2018. Centre Pompidou, Paris, Musée national d’art moderne/Centre de création industrielle; gift of George Economou, 2019. © Julie Mehretu. Photography:Tom Powel Imaging

Julie Mehretu, Mind-Wind Field Drawings (quarantine studio, d.h.) #1, 2019-2020. Private collection, courtesy Marian Goodman Gallery New York/Paris. © Julie Mehretu. Photography courtesy Marian Goodman Gallery

Julie Mehretu, Mogamma (A Painting in Four Parts) Part 1, 2012. Guggenheim Abu Dhabi. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: White Cube, Ben Westoby

Julie Mehretu, Conjured Parts (eye), Ferguson, 2016. The Broad Art Foundation, Los Angeles. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: Cathy Carver

Julie Mehretu, Migration Direction Map (large), 1996. Private collection. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: Tom Powel Imaging

At home with artist Julie Mehretu

CAMILLE OKHIO - 25 MAR 2021

Julie Mehretu speaks with the joy and conviction of someone who has had the freedom to investigate all their interests. Curiosity has led her to the myriad topics, objects and moments that inform her work, among them cartography, archaeology, the birth of civilisation and mycology. Since the 1990s, her practice has expanded outwardly in all directions like a spider web. A lack of understanding and preconceived notions among reviewers have often led to her work being flattened – simplified so that it is easily digestible – but in reality, her work is far from a simplistic investigation of any one topic. It encompasses multitudes.

The artist’s recent paintings are mostly large scale, but her early works on paper (often created with multiple layers – one sheet of Mylar on top of another) are as small as a six-inch square. The works often comprise innumerable minuscule markings – tremendous force and knowledge communicated through delicate inkings and streaks. Their layers reveal, rather than obfuscate. And though Mehretu’s creative process springs from a desire to understand herself better, the work itself is in no way autobiographical.

Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, on the tails of a continental rejection of colonialism, and raised there, then in Michigan, Mehretu has a flexible and full-hearted understanding of home. It is not one physical place, but many, all holding equal importance. On 25 March, Mehretu will present her first major retrospective at the Whitney Museum of American Art, with works spanning 1996 to 2019. The institution is an important one for Mehretu, as it played host to several pivotal shows in her youth.

Her exhibition has served as an impetus for Mehretu to look back at her already prolific career, observing and organising the thoughts, questions and answers she has put forth for over two decades. The six years it took to bring this exhibition together proved an incredibly valuable time of reflection, fatefully dovetailing with a year of quarantine.

Wallpaper*: Where are you as we speak?

Julie Mehretu: I’m in my studio on 26th Street, right on the West Side Highway. I’ve worked here for 11 years.

W*: Are there any artists, writers or thinkers that have had a meaningful impact on you?

JM: I don’t know how to answer that because there are literally so many! It’s constantly changing. Right now, Kara Walker, David Hammons, William Pope.L, and younger artists like Jason Moran (who has made amazing work around abstraction). There are so many artists that have been informative and important to me: Frank Bowling, Jack Whitten, Caravaggio.

I also look at a lot of prehistoric work, from as far back as 60,000 years ago, as well as cave paintings from 6th century China and early prehistoric drawings in the caves of Australia.

W*: What’s the most interesting thing you have read, watched or listened to recently?

JM: For the last few weeks I’ve been immersed in Steve McQueen films. I’ve been bingeing on lovers rock music. And a TV show that really moved me was [Michaela Cole’s] I May Destroy You. It’s difficult, but it was really well done and powerful.

Ocean Vuong’s novel On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous is amazing. The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing is a really incredible book too – she studies this mushroom that became a delicacy in Japan in the 7th century. It started growing in deforested areas – it’s in these places destroyed by human beings that these mushrooms survive. [I find it interesting] that this mushroom grows on the edge of precarity and destruction. Like with Black folks, there is a constant aspect of insisting on yourself and reinventing yourself in the midst of constant effort of destruction.

W*: What was the first piece of art you remember seeing? How did you feel about it?

JM: One of the first times I remember being moved by a work of art was looking through my mother’s Rembrandt book. We brought so few things back from Ethiopia and that was one of them. [Particularly] Rembrandt’s The Sacrifice of Isaac. That story is so intense. I was so moved by the light and the skin and the way the paint made light and skin.

W*: Do you travel? If so, what does travel afford you, and what have you missed about it during Covid-19?

JM: I travel a lot, but I haven’t travelled this year. There has been this amazing sense of suspension and a pause in that. I miss travelling, but going to look at art, watching films, reading novels and listening to music is the way I travel now. For instance, I’ve been listening to Afro-Peruvian music and now I want to go to Peru.

Before I know it we will be back in this fast-paced, zooming-around environment – there is something I want to savour by staying here, now, in this time and absorbing as much as I can.

W*: You are said to have a vast collection of objects and images. Walk me through your collection – what areas, materials, makers and things have the largest presence and why?

JM: When you enter our home there is this long hallway. Framed along the wall we have around 20 fluorescent Daniel Joseph Martinez block-printed posters he made with words – almost poems. Our kids grew up reading those. One says ‘Sometimes I can’t breathe’ and another one says ‘Don’t work’, while some are really long.

We also have a great Paul Pfeiffer photograph of one from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse series. We have a group of Richard Tuttle etchings right over our dining table. We have an amazing David Hammons body print as well, and my kids’ work is all over the house.

W*: As the daughter of immigrants and an immigrant yourself – how do you conceptualise home and how do you create it?

JM: There were a lot of times I felt very transient – as a student and a young adult, going in and out of school and residency programmes. It always came back to music and food. There are certain flavours, foods, music, smells that you take wherever you go. Also as a mother, I’m building a home for my children. Home becomes something else because of them. They are the core of home now.

W* How has motherhood affected your practice?

JM: I became much more productive when I had kids for several reasons – one is that I felt a lot of pressure to make [work] in the time I wasn’t with them, which of course is unsustainable. A large part of making is not making – thinking and searching.

When I got to work I could get into it much more quickly. Kids grow and change so fast, you feel time is passing so you need to use it. I wasn’t going to stop working, that’s for sure. All women who are pushing in their lives make that choice.

W*: What is your favourite myth and why does it hold importance for you?

JM: Right now I’m reading Greek myths to my ten-year-old. We’ve read them before, but he wanted to read them again. I still read to him at night even though he’s a voracious reader himself.

The myths I remember the most are myths I’ve come across in visual works. Titian’s Diana and Actaeon – I know that myth so well because of his painting. Bernini’s mesmerising sculpture of Apollo and Daphne I saw in Rome, where her body becomes a tree. The leaves are so delicately carved into the marble, it’s a work of incredible beauty. I’ve been considering this deconstructionist approach to mythology. Storytelling becomes this place to interrogate propositions, which is what I think mythology does.

W*: Have you experienced a flattening of your work?

JM: I’m always concerned with flattening and pigeonholing. That is something that happens to artists like us all the time. When I first was working and showing there was a bit of that happening with my work. It was put into the space of cartography or an architectural analysis of it. It was said to be autobiographical work.

The art world tries to consume. There is this desire to flatten and the desire for Black artists to be a reflection of their experience. I don’t think any artist is like that at all. In reality, none of us are flat. We all contain multitudes and are complicated – that has always been the core of the Black radical tradition.

#julie mehretu #art #abstract art #abstract #mark making #history #geography #nature

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alittleemo · 3 years

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I wanted to leave valentine asks in all of your inboxes but it’s late and im tired so im making an appreciation type post instead!!!! long post under the cut bc i dont want to subject yall to that lol

@shades-of-blue- faith you add so much positivity to my day and you show so much love for me and all of your other mutuals and i hope you know how lovely you are <3 i love your art series and how positively u interact w your mutuals and followers, and seeing u in my notifications reminds me that other people are interested in what im saying and it really means a lot to me so thank u, sending u all of my love <3

@lunawedlers- audrey you bring so many new movies and shows to my dash and i adore it. you are so kind and supportive of others and your talent is out of this world and it brightens my day to interact w you or even see u on my dash and u deserve the world and all of its beauty. I may have no idea still what the plot of succession is but i thought i saw Tom when i was watching Star Wars the other day and thought of u and i think thats what love is yk? (it wasnt actually him but its the thought that counts <3). i love u sm bestie, im rlly glad we’re friends <3

@12monthoctober- grace you have always been one of my fav mutuals, you show so much consideration for others and your enthusiasm for the AO3 remakes brings me so much joy and u are such a friendly, supportive, and caring force on my dash and i love u and miss u. you were one of my first mutuals and quite honestly in the early months i was on tumblr and we were mutuals were able to ground me and bring me so much joy and ive stolen so much of my music taste from skam nt and the fact we already had similar tastes rlly enhances the vibe. I love seeing u on my dash and on my Spotify bar and i hope u are doing well, i love u sm <3

@lesbeanfatou- clara you provide such a chaotic and kind whirlwind force on my dash everyday, and your boundless love for all of your friends and followers is so wonderful to behold. literally the joy i had in u immediately following me back and interacting w me in the beginning meant the world to me and i hope u know im here for u always. your love for 1d passed on to me and now i actually follow the convo when ppl talk abt them and my sister and bestie love me for it and ive saved too many of ur reaction images to use myself so ty for that too <3 love u queen u deserve the sun and all of her stars

@coffee-and-moo- grace i literally cannot describe how much joy i get from seeing your Star Wars and marvel posts on my dash, u share and encapsulate so many of my fav interests that i feel like we were destined to be mutuals. your enthusiasm inspires me and i love seeing u on my dash and in my notes—i feel like at this point we are equally spam liking each other’s posts and i love u sm for it bc i see posts to rn specifically for u now lol. you are so lovely and sweet and i hope the world is treating u well and i love u <3

@pianoandcookiedoughlover- you’re such a lovely presence on my dash, and it means so much to me that u took time to check on me after some of my rant posts, j the feeling of knowing other people care enough to check in and your calm, rational way of looking at situations was so important to me. im so excited for skam colorado s2 and i hope you’re doing well and ily <3 (also ive taken to calling u honey in my head bc of ur profile pic color/bc u have no name displayed lol but if u would prefer smth else lmk!!)

@maade-of-stardust- val you were my first mutual and literally the rush i got from a person following me for the first time fueled me for weeks. we don’t talk a lot but i love seeing u on my dash and your fics are incredible and deserve so much love and attention considering all of the love you’re put into them. I hope you are doing well, there are so many people who love and care for u and i love u <3

@paint-dreamscapes-on-the-wall- iris you are such a sweet person, and i still havent forgotten how u took time to give me phoebe bridgers recommendations when i didnt expect to get any—your thoughtfulness and excellent music choices really brightened my life a lot. i happened to find skam boston in the middle of quarantine (may or June i think??), and waiting for your updates everyday grounded me and added a sense of stability to my life as i watched graciela navigate her season. u are such a lovely being and i love u a lot <3

@fakieu- aj u are so creative and your sense of humor is immaculate and you have been such a positive influence on me (that sounds weird lmao but fr your calmness and creativity have inspired me and helped me so much). skam dc was the first remake i actually listened to with music, and i j have to say literally my music taste this summer was almost entirely stolen from u, so i appreciate that a lot. I hope you’re doing well and that school isnt beating u down to much, love u <3

@womenstan and @nori-in-pink- we haven’t interacted a lot but both of u are so sweet and the support u have for your friends and the enthusiasm u have for others is so affirming and rlly helped me feel like people cared about what i had to say here. em- it meant the world to me that u actually made something out of my gif suggestions, i have lots of ideas bouncing around but actually seeing them was mind blowing and i loved them. courtney- i love the cheerfulness u bring to my dash and u are such a lovely soul and i hope u are both doing well

#this is rlly long lol #anyways i hope u all had nice valentines days if u celebrate #lee’s bullshit #sorry if theres any mistakes lmao my reading comprehension is barely existent rn

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nyaheum · 3 years

Text

My yearly list of Eurovision songs after the first impression (I mean, for like, half of them. I heard snippets of some songs.). Judged on music videos, because...if I only listen to the songs on Spotify, my eyes get bored. :’)

(oh, and don’t talk to me about iceland’s placement, I know this might be unpopular)

X. Belarus

Fuck Belarus, all my homies hate Belarus. Not even going to grace them with a rating.

Norway (TIX – Fallen Angel)

...no. :( And it’s not even because Keiino didn’t win, I just wholeheartetly hate this song. And I’m kinda sorry to TIX, because he seems like a cool dude and his stage outfit is absolutely hilarious, but oh my god do I hate this song with an absolute burning passion.

Poland (RAFAL – The Ride)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji – well, this is a non-qualifier if I’ve ever seen one. Can we just...skip this?

Belgium (Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place)

Nap time! This song annoys me. I cannot explain it, but it gives me a headache and my whole body is revolting against this song. I am not kidding. Objectively, I don’t even hate it, but there’s just something about it...that makes me go...hnghgng…

North Macedonia (Vasil – Here I Stand)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji ver. 2 – I am not trying to sound mean, but does North Macedonia do any music that is not dramatic power ballads? I’m serious. (And I don’t like it, sorry. :((...except for the high notes, I like them. When he can hit them live.)

Estonia (Uku Suviste – The Lucky One)

This (the music video)...is soft porn. I am slightly scared of Uku. I don’t know why. But, uh...this is better than last year’s song? Still, it wouldn’t qualify under my watch, whoops.

Georgia (Tornike Kipiani – You)

He stopped yelling angrily at the microphone. :((( Nah, but this isn’t my thing. It’s great that they are doing their own thing, it’s just not really my thing...it also reminds me of a song I know, damn.

Austria (Vincent Bueno - Amen)

He looks like a german youtuber. I don’t know hich one, but he looks like one. I also canot tell if he’s 18 or 38, lol. (For some reason he also reminds me of Alex Albon, which is even weirder.)...oh, uh, the song? Idk, I don’t care for I. It’s fine.

Spain (Blas Cantó – Voy A Querdarme)

Confession: I’m probably the only person who actually doesn’t like the sound of Spanish all that much. Whoops. Apart from that though, I’m not the biggest fan of this song. Can’t really say more about that. Meh.

The Netherlands (Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age)

Listen: I really like the tone of this voice. It’s great. I am not a fan of the song. There’s something just very off about the loud percussions (?) in the background that make me go absolutely crazy when listening to this. My sensory-overload-prone ears hate it, and I’m sorry...the part before the last chorus on the other hand I love. The whole song could have sounded like that and I would have loved it. (...and I can’t unhear “You are my broccoli – You know my broccoli!” ;-;)

Azerbaijan (Efendi – Mata Hari) Whenever I see Efendi, my brain still goes “Cleopatrrrrra!”, oof. This song sounds like a song I know. Which...is super unprecice, but I genuinely don’t know which one. I do like that they kept the weird pre-chorus thing from Cleopatra (and reference the song later on), but I must say that I liked Cleopatra more...but it’s a party song, so I think it will be fun on stage!

Romania (ROXEN - Amnesia)

I didn’t like her song last year, I don’t enjoy this all too much and I’m kinda sorry but also...I don’t want to apologize for my taste in music, lmao. I want her hair though. Give me her hair.

Denkmark (Fyr & Flamme – Ove Os Pa Hinanden)

Ring ding ding, native language bonus. This is also way more fun than I thought it would be, hah. VERY retro, but I don’t hate that? :D (this and sweden really aren’t any different in terms of how much I like them)

Portugal (The Black Mama – Love Is On My Side)

I can appreciate this. I just wish it was in Portuguese, honestly. I don’t really know if I like the English for this song. That being said, I don’t know if you can make these very specific tones (you know what I mean) in portuguese without it sounding super off, so…

Ireland (Lesley Roy – Maps)

Okay, you do you Ireland. :D

Israel (Eden Alene – Set Me Free)

This exists. :D

Cyprus (Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo)

Cyprus came to party, and I can’t be mad at that. I just don’t know why everybody in the YouTube comments loves this SO MUCH that they are sure that it will win if it gets the jury votes. I don’t think it’s as good as Fuego or She Got Me were, but maybe I just have no taste in party music. I don’t party. (Only if you got a 2000s playlist and some iced tea.)

France (Barbara Pravi – Voilà)

FRANCE sending a BALLAD? In MY Eurovision? It’s more likely than you think. It’s good, objectively. Personally, I don’t really care for it all that much and feel like I already know it.

United Kingdom (Embers – James Newman)

A good, modern song? In my british eurovision song? What happened on the Isles over quarantine? Are you guys okay? Did you find yourself? Have you taken your last breath (breath!) and looked at your past results? I’m impressed enough to put this relatively high, wow.

Serbia (Hurricane – LOCO LOCO)

*adore delano voice* party! Oh, and native language bonus...for a party song! I’m...impressed, actually. I cannot decide wheter I prefer this or Hasta La Vista, but I think it’s this one? The flows smoother, if that means literally anything.

Bulgaria (VICTORIA – Growing Up Is Getting Old)

*shrugs* I think a lot of people will like this. And I get that. I think I even understand it...yeah. I didn’t like her song last year either. It’s just personal preference, I think. I just want to have fun during Eurovision, hah.

Finland (Blind Channel – Dark Side)

Finland: FUCK YOU!!! Germany: Fuck you. <3

That’s all I’ll say, we know how the Finnish are, this is not surprising, lmao. (And I’m one of those children that grew up on Rammstein, so I legally cannot dislike this.)

Croatia (Albina - Tick-Tock)

Tick-tock, can you hear me go tick-tock? My heart is like a clock, I'm steady like a rock-...oh wait, wrong tick-tock! Still, really enjoy this song’s chorus – I actually enjoy it so much that it makes up for the utter loss of interest I experience once it’s over, chrm.

Sweden (Tusse – Voices)

I mean...let’s be honest, it’s a generic swedish pop song. It sounds like every other Swedish entry, and I think that bothers me. I know, that sounds kind of...weird, looking at my choices higher up in the list, but...meh. I think this will easily qualify for the Final and place high, and I am totally okay with that. It’s just not...what I wanted, I guess? :D (and i’m sorry but as a german-speaker I cannot get over the name “tusse”) (oh, and tusse seems to be super cool)

Albania (Anxhela Peristeri - Karma)

Oh, we’re going to war in 130 A.D.? Fine, let me just pack my spear and- oh, Albania has already sent a singer? Ah, well, might as well give up and just vibe.

Czech Republic (Benny Cristo - omaga)

This sounds fun. Not a winner or anything, but fun. I’ll probably still be on Twitter when he’s performing, whoops.

Slovenia (Ana Sklic - Amen)

Wait, there’s TWO songs called Amen? And why do I actually kinda like this? Oh well, might as well just accept it. (Her voice though...mhmmhmhm…yes please)

Iceland (Dadi og Gagnamagnid – 10 Years)

We just vibin’. I liked Think About Things more, but I’m very much biased here...because I’ve known that song for a year now. But this is still very good, and very on brand. (And I understand like...half of the lyrics, but I am okay with that.)

Australia (Montaigne - Technicolour)

not australia flexing at all of europe that they can hold big gatherings! D: oh, but I like this way more than last years song. I feel like Montaigne can show her GREAT voice way better in this song. (Even though her outfit and the sound of the song reminds me of the UK song that had...a dude run on the stage. I can’t think of the word for it right now.)

Malta (Destiny – Je Me Casse)

Destiny’s voice is just….wow. This is very different than All My Love, but it’s fun. The topic of the lyrics kinda remind me of Toy, and I like that…..I don’t really like the music video (especially the dancers in the colorful dresses? idk), but I’ll just ignore that.

Germany (I Don’t Feel Hate - Germany)

Confession time: I actually actively enjoy this song. Everybod is shitting on it, but it’s FUN and it has a good message, and Jendrik seems like the nicest dude ever and...it doesn’t deserve all the hate it’s getting? It’s completely self-produced and just fun. Stop being mean. :(

(...also someone on youtube said “pewdiepie” and I can’t unsee that now so fuck you >:((...no, no I don’t feel hate, just rethink your life choices)

Moldova (Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR)

What in the “Eis.de ist in der Kiste” is this music video? And I thought I would absolutely hate this song, but I actually don’t mind it all that much. It’s actually fun. Oh no, I’m splipping, someone catch me, aaaaaahhhhh….(and that poor cake dude. Is this song about cannibalism? Does she want to eat him?)

San Marino (Senhit – Adrenalina)

Catch me hum the chorus of this song at least once a day...but honestly, without any malicious intent: what the actual FUCK san marino? This is so much better than Freaky, and even though I do not believe for one second that this will win, the simple outragiousness of bringing Flo Rida to Eurovision deserves attention. (Bringing someone like Flo Rida to ESC sounds more like Scandinavia/Bulgaria, doesn’t it?)

Russia (Manizha – Russian Woman)

Not gonna lie, I miss Little Big, but at least they are sending something that’s at least as weird. I love that. Russian Rap is cool as fuck anyway, so I’m fully here for this...but I’m glas this song doesn’t have a music video, this just has to be a live performance. (Oh, and another strong woman!)

Ukraine (Go_A – SHUM)

I’m SO glad Go_A are back. But, let me be completely honest: I know why they had to change the lyrics, but I still liked the first version better. BUT I feel like the new one will grow and me and it will climb one or two places, because the Instrumental just slaps SO HARD. (Makes me feel like putting on a Cybergoth outfit and start dancing at a German industrial park, lmao.)

Latvia (Samanta Tina – The Moon Is Rising)

Does this count as my guilty pleasure this year? I loved her song last year, and this sounds similar, so...I like this too. It sounds modern as fuck (well, for Europe, you know) and I can definitely...”vibe” with that. I genuinely really enjoy this, and I don’t know why. (Even though I prefer last years drop.) A lot of “strong, independent women”-songs this year, and I’m not complaining.

Switzerland (Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers)

Just so we’re clear, this and Italy share the exact same spot. I just cannot compare them at all. Gjon’s voice just takes me hostage throughout this whole song and won’t let me go. And everything that isn’t english/is in the countries offical language immediately gets plus points from me. As if this song needed them anyway.

Lithuania (The Roop – Discoteque)

Aaaaaand...dance break! Good, I just love them so much, it’s not even funny anymore. And I’ve been singing this song randomly since it came out. I can’t stop. It has burned itself into my brain. Let’s dis-co-teque right at my home! *waves arms around with no sign of coordination*

(and does anyone else feel like he’s serhat, just with a different alignment? Like, they are both chaotic, but serhat is chaotic neutral and he’s either chaotic good or chaotic bad, it really depends on the way he looks at the camera)

Italy (Maneskin – Zitti E Buoni)

Italy delivers, as they do every year. Not only do I really like this song (it is very much my genre), THIS is an aesthetic I can get behind! Knowing Eurovision, I doubt it will win, but damn if it won’t be super fun! (I am so glad this won Sanremo, hah.)

#eurovision #esc #eurovision song contest #esc 2021 #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam 2021

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