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thepoetsvortex · 2 years

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Lupin rant by request- he gaslights Snape calling him “Severus” like they’re friendly. Then he has the nerve to pull that boggart stunt to humiliate him while Snape is brewing his wolfsbane potion, which he puts off drinking. What is his problem? Being a werewolf is the worst thing to happen to him but he’ll gladly put the students at risk. Who cares how Sirius sneaks into the castle, who cares if he made it inside the Gryff dorm with a knife, Lupin wants to keep his job because his comfort matters more than the safety of children. Bleh.

Thank you so much lovely anon this was some A+ insight

There really are very very few people in the book who are ALLOWED to call Snape, Severus. That’s Lily Evans, Albus Dumbledore, and Narcissa Malfoy. I mean, and probably his mother, but that’s IT. Lupin is totally violating his very clear boundaries here (yet again) and part of me wonders if this isn’t for Harry’s benefit at least in part because he makes it seem like “oh Harry, look how wise and mature I am. I don’t hold grudges, unlike someone *eyes Snape* and this definitely makes me, the calm, repentant one, more trustworthy than the man who referried a Quidditch match and actually cursed someone sharing a body with the Dark Lord to save you, when I have done no such thing.” It’s manipulation and it’s nasty.

And don’t even get me started on his calling Snape’s justified anger about 7 years of literal abuse “a schoolboy grudge” 🙄

The Boggart incident wasn’t funny as you well know- it was sexist and overall, if he’s trying to get on Snape’s good side, a really really bad idea. Snape is canonically sexually humiliated and demeaned more than any other character. First by Petunia, then by James Potter. And now- now it happens again as an adult in front of his own students and in the same place where he already has so much trauma. All because of Remus Lupin. No one can defend how Snape treats Neville, and it should be addressed, but not this way (canonically it hurts Neville too because it just makes Snape even more mad).

Yeah why does Lupin put off drinking the potion anyway? We never really get a clear answer on this. The first time he waits until Snape leaves so he can intimidate him. He even makes Severus bring it to him, which is just 😡😡😡 What is his problem indeed. Moony certainly seems to be on a good old power trip at the moment. Except, you know, the lives of children are involved but who cares about that am I right.

R.L.’s relationship to his lycanthropy is so weird. Usually he’s all “woe is me” about it, because no one could ever understand, and he’s a monster, poor baby. He knows how to gain undeserved sympathy more than anyone in the series. Then the rest of the time he’s like, endangering Hogsmeade villagers from the time he’s a teenager, running around with animagi thus violating the ONLY condition of his schooling, forgetting his potion- which almost has deadly consequences- and, of course, let’s not forget nearly abandoning his wife and unborn baby because he MIGHT share the same condition (as if you dolt).

Oh it’s worse than that anon. Lupin doesn’t just want to keep his job. He wants to keep Albus Dumbledore’s trust. He wants to keep him out of the loop and in the dark. Right now, he’s got DD wrapped around his little finger and he can’t loose that. I fully believe if he could give up Sirius without exposing his own school day crimes, he would 100% have done it in a heartbeat. Nothing is more important to this man than Dumbledore’s trust and affection. Which ironically, is a trait he shares with Snape who has a much better claim on Albus. Then also, the fact that Dumbledore doesn’t try to keep Remus at the end of POA shows us Lupin lost this trust anyway (there’s some irony for you). So good job I guess?

Anyway, I really love Remus as a character because he is so beautiful and complex and there’s so many layers and I hate reducing him to sad bookworm who would never hurt a fly.

Thanks for indulging my request! What a great ask! I can’t wait for more 😀

#anti remus lupin #anti marauders #anon #severus snape #prosnape

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spiders-hth-is-an-outlier · 1 year

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Okay, now that we've all had our fun, it's time for me to do some trauma dumping (for values of “trauma” that mostly mean “fandom bullshit” and “my dumb feelings or whatever”). If you love The Goncharov Thing and you don't want to hear anyone bitching about The Goncharov Thing, then godspeed and god bless, this is your exit ramp.

So I hate it, I hate it a lot, and I recognize and accept a thing that when I was younger I wouldn't have been able to recognize or accept, which is that my feelings of anger, resentment, and shame are completely my affair and mine to deal with – or to rephrase, I 100% know that nobody is doing anything wrong or unfair to me, please do not interpret anything I say as a criticism of the fun anyone else is having, I am literally just Journaling For My Wellness, and because maybe other people feel similarly and would find this cathartic to read, idk.

I always feel incredibly awkward being like, Hey Guys Guess What I Was Sad As A Kid! Because I will probably never be over the feeling that as a person who grew up with two attentive and loving parents in an environment of reasonable financial stability (like, we were occasionally Broke As Shit, but there was always food and secure housing), I had absolutely not earned the right to be sad. Unfortunately, my Disorder did not get this memo in a timely manner, and I was a weird, fragile, melancholy child who had trouble relating to other humans and only felt truly comfortable while reading books or watching movies, because those things – particularly but not exclusively in the fantasy genre – flipped a switch in my brain that made my regular (Weird, bad, unpleasant) emotions disappear, replaced by the emotions I was absorbing through the story (adventure! enchantment! the power of friendship!) This was, for obvious reasons, insanely addictive.

Maybe ironically, I actually got a lot better and happier as a teenager. I mean, I had the Angst or whatever, but at that point in my life I also managed to start getting slightly cool? My parents made me take acting classes, which they thought would be good for me, and lo and behold, it actually was. I started being able to talk to people, it turns out that being the weird kid who knows Vampire Facts and has read every fantasy novel ever written is kind of an asset once you manage to locate the Weird Kid D&D Clique, and eventually I was kind of like – legitimately cool, because the early 90s were actually a very dope time to be a Mysteriously Sad Goth Chick who could discourse at nearly unbearable length about Alan Moore. It was quite a specific swag, but I kind of had it nailed.

But the thing is that I was always very aware that I was fun and interesting because I had learned how to Discourse correctly, with the socially acceptable level of Moderate Goth Enthusiasm. Regular readers here at the ol' blog will probably note that I tend to alternate being Heartbreakingly Earnest with a certain level of ironic detachment and backhanded apologies for being earnest, and this is because I am still fundamentally a Heartbreakingly Earnest person who cares so, so, so much about dumb fantasy stories but in my experience people actually hate being confronted with that and are either extremely patronizing or irrationally angry when I fuck up and talk about things just a little too much like I give a shit about them. And I'm still really scared of getting those reactions, because it makes me feel Sad and Insecure and Small, like I remember feeling all the time when I was eight years old.

And fandom. When I discovered online fandom in my early 20s, it provided such an outlet for me. It felt like in that space, it was normal and not objectionable to take things just deadly, deadly seriously, to immerse yourself in the exact things I'd always felt pressured to know a lot about (to pass the tests, you know) but feel very little about, when in fact I've rarely felt Very Little about anything in my entire life. I experienced fandom for a long time as a place where I could actually engage with media the way I did as a kid – where I could really connect with it and absorb the emotional rush from it and deep-dive into what it was saying to me and what I wanted to say back. I cared so much about Due South and The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I cared so much and nobody told me to stop. I wrote whatever I wanted, and nobody told me to stop. It didn't feel embarrassing or Too Much. The fanfic and the meta I was producing during those years was about my bisexuality and my love triangles and my breakups and my gender, and it was also about Themes and Motifs and the fucking – power of friendship or whatever. It was about stories that I really, really loved, even when I also (looking at you, Stargate Atlantis) got so angry about how lazy and stupid they could sometimes be with their own set-up and premise. And I never felt weird about being more or less my actual self in fandom spaces – funny but also sad, romantic but also critical and nitpicky, sometimes kind of a lot and definitely not to everybody's taste, but just like. A real person that people could get to know and frequently like.

I left fandom for a long time, starting in about 2007, and I did that because it felt like the space was changing. Livejournal was on the downswing and Tumblr was coming up; I was in my early 30s and everyone else was starting to feel like a 17-year-old Harry Potter fan. But the real reason is that there was this – I don't know, this cultural shift it felt like, where you had to act cool in fandom. Fandom! The literal place where you had always been allowed to go and be deeply uncool! But now people were starting to enjoy consuming the fanworks, the art and the fiction and the vids, while also acting like they didn't...care much. About the things I thought we were all coming together to care about. In place of people who would track down bootlegs of some art film that the guy from that show you liked was in and make eight copies on VHS to mail to all their friends on the other side of the continent, you were getting fans who – had not watched the show at all. Who didn't feel any desire to. Or who had consumed the source material, but were totally comfortable just saying fuck canon, so suddenly the amount of weird shared fanon was exploding. You had the rise of the “fandom is my fandom” people, who were in it for the social elements and the kind of fanfiction trope/voice/aesthetic – you know, the one where now you can read a pro novel and know instantly whether or not the author cut their teeth in fandom. You started having people say things to you like it's not that deep and your book report is sucking all the fun out of fandom.

It's kind of hard to articulate how shitty all this felt to me at the time. It made me feel deeply ashamed of thinking too much and trying too hard and caring instead of having fun – “having fun,” because being allowed to be obsessive and intense and weird and kind of needy was fun for me, it was how I had fun, and it really hit some primal soft spot in me to have to start thinking of myself as the Weird Sad Awkward No-Fun One. It made me feel like when I was a kid and I hated talking to anyone because I never seemed to say what they expected or wanted me to say and I didn't know what they expected or wanted me to say and every interaction was a test I failed. I didn't want to write anymore, I didn't feel like I knew what to say even to people who had been fandom friends for years. I remember vividly the first time I knew that my time was kind of up, it was in a conversation with a popular SGA writer, someone who I'd always thought of as a friend and really looked up to. And I don't remember if I was doing some beta reading for her, or if we were just talking in general about the show, but I kind of picked her up on some point of characterization, like I don't think this is how Sheppard would react to that or whatever, and she said, “Well, the character work is so sloppy and inconsistent on this show, I don't really worry about it too much. I think of them as more like Pilot Doll and Science Doll, and I can do whatever I want in terms of characterization.” Which, like – absolutely that is anyone's right as a writer, and she was producing really excellent fiction! But it kind of broke my heart, because I suddenly felt...I don't know, like an idiot? Like, oh, here I am, like a fucking idiot, poring over my DVDs of this stupid show, trying to make things fit together, trying to understand the characters, trying to draw out the usable pieces and turn them into something that's worth loving the way I wanted to love it, and nobody else is doing that. Nobody else thinks that's anything but a waste of effort. And I remember that was the minute I first thought, I don't know if I'll ever feel at home here again. I didn't log off that exact day and never return, but pretty soon I did log off, more or less completely for ten years.

If you've noticed that none of this has a goddamn thing to do with Goncharov (1973), good eye. It's not directly related, except that I have this context of intense insecurity around the way that fiction affects me, in that I get really caught up in it and emotionally transformed by it, which feels childish and vulnerable to me and has been a quality that other people have frequently treated as dorky and off-putting if I don't put in the effort to be like Yes I Enjoy TV A Normal Amount. And it's actually a little bit of a pain point for me that even fandom now low-key acts like it's dorky and off-putting if you let your stupid fan hobby impact your life or your sense of self, and with the combination of those factors, Goncharov posting has really felt like – almost a flex. Fandom does what fandom does, whether the source is good or bad, if you've seen it or just seen the gifs, if it even exists or not. Is Goncharov a good movie? When you saw it, did it move you, did it scare you, did it confuse you, could you not stop thinking about it for days? Well, those aren't relevant questions, right? They don't affect the fic, the art, the memes, the Discourse – all that just happens, regardless. That's the joke.

I get it. That's the joke. It's a fake movie so people are responding to the fake experience of having seen it in a way that's indistinguishable from when, say, Good Omens or OFMD took over your dash for a few weeks there. The source doesn't matter, because fandom is not for or about that Nerd Bullshit where you curate and you saturate and you have a real emotional response that changes who you are as a person. It's all dress-up dolls now, acting out our favorite tropes on the trending tags, Content for the Content Gods. The joke is, you're a sucker if any of it was ever real to you.

The Goncharov Thing makes me feel like the butt of the joke, and again, that's not on anybody who does enjoy it, I'm not suggesting that there's an Objective Reality here where Goncharov shitposting is literally bullying or whatever. I put in all that embarassing personal shit because I wanted it to be clear that I know this is because of my personal shit, because of the specific history I have with this tension between being Sad and being Fun, with feeling incredibly vulnerable around feeling the actual enormous feelings that have always been my lot in life, while my brain is telling me to keep that shit to myself. Nobody is Goncharov posting in order to call me stupid, but it does make me feel stupid anyway, and it reminds me that I'll never feel like fandom is My Home in an uncomplicated way again, like it's a space that welcomes and rewards my authenticity. And that's fine, things change and nobody is owed a social space that caters specifically to their needs; I think it's healthier to focus on the fact that I did have that once, and not everybody does. I will never be ungrateful for the way that being in fandom helped me navigate my 20s, and I am still over here Just Vibing in my very dorky way, simmering gently in my obsession with a very weird tv show about a guy who loves a book in an embarrassing, irrational way that is, after all, a little bit endearing. I'm not ungrateful to have made it back here, either.

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patchesproblem · 11 months

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tell us more about the immortal cat au

BET ACTUALLY

So to start off with it happens more in the future after Honkai was eradicated / sealed away. More than likely a few years after it after everything calmed down and they weren't on the constant verge of deadly threat every five seconds.

There's actually a first draft and a second draft when it comes to this. The original idea was that they figured out a way to replicate their immortality and just kinda tested it on a cat and kept it, but it was scrapped because I doubt they'd actively be trying to replicate immortality when it's more of a curse than a blessing lmao. It originally was from like Novemebr or December I believe, so it's relatively old.

For now the immortal cat doesn't really have a place of origin. The current ideas are maybe that it was created (think kinda like Theresa?? But also not really because this is a literal animal) or that some freak accident happened. It doesn't really matter because the cat itself is what's more important because it terrorizes everyone and everything in it's path.

Imagine if you took everything that makes Einstein and Tesla menaces to society but put it into a cat that doesn't have to face consequences or societal shame.

The cat can be really sweet yes, but it can also ruin your day. It can and will knock anything it feels like over. It's definetly ruined electronics before.

Tesla and her are besties but they are in a constant war with each other. When Teslas had a bad day it'll curl up with her and comfort her, but on any other day it'll be knocking stuff off of her desk or nightstand and running off with her glasses without a care. She's probably ran off with her tools at some point tbh. Also has probably knocked several screwdrivers underneath things and neither Tesla nor Einstein can reach far enough to get them back. Anti-Entropys funds are having to be put towards buying new equipment because of their pet they refuse to get rid of.

The cat is at war with Einstein too except on a lesser, less destructive scale. Their war is exactly like how Einstein chooses to mess with people. It's clear. It's subtle. It will drive you insane nonetheless. It'll stare at her dead in the eyes flicking its tail having a staring contest. They both know it's about to do something the only question is when and what. Minutes later she's chasing it around their dorm trying to get her sandwich back that it stole.

Basically it kinda mimics each of them. It's also just a cat and cats are just like that tbh (source I have a menace of my own that has destroyed many electronics and has shoved her face in my food when I glanced away.)

Though it's not all chaos. They see her as their kid and actively make sure that it has the best life they can give it. Probably one of the most spoiled cats known to man kind. It sleeps with them and just kinda chills with them most of the time when it's not being a destructive unstoppable force.

It also really enjoys chasing the laser pointers and tries to play with Einsteins hair and probably attacks Teslas pigtails LMAO.

Also does not like men. The cat just stares at them and hisses before running off. It does not care for Joachim in the slightest.

Oh and her names S'more. She's a tortoise shell and Tesla 100% put a bow on her. They take her out with them sometimes and she goes on buisness trips with them.

I think Tesla probably brushes her often too and makes sure that her furs pretty and soft. Don't know why I just think she would. They treat it like it's their child so nothing would surprise me. Probably say stuff like "go harass your mother" or something like that.

#nikola responds to asks #fluerdriviere #sorry for the long response but this immortal cat is very important to me #S'more makes guest apperances in other things I write occassionally too #she's a re occuring character in the Patches einsla-verse ig #einsla #nikolas posts

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damselofblueroses · 3 years

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Bambi, Prologue

You are my Bambi, girl, I am your candy, tell me what are you waiting for?

Summary: As an archaeologist who works on the Ancient Greece, you were on the verge of excavations' session. While you have been preparing your team, you learned that your institute decided on your team has to work with another team as they wanted the outcome as a collaboration. The head of other team was your biggest rival, a scumbag in your eyes: Byun Baekhyun.

You two were supposed to work together for three months, in a Greek Island, Chios.

Could you manage to not kill Byun Baekhyun for three months?

Content: AU, heavily Greek mythology, enemies to friends.

Warnings: Well, the story contains NSFW/Smut, please minors do not continue.

Note: This story will be four or five chapters if I will not change my mind in the meantime. It is inspired by my major; however, I do not have a complete knowledge on archaeology, I am a historian. If I will make a technical mistake, please let me know. I am willing to receive any kind of feedback; you are more than welcomed to drop a message.

Prologue

The Mid of April, Sejong Institute, the Department of Archaeology

“Could you give me Bulfinch?” you asked to your teammate. “I have to check the layers of the Underworld.”

“Here you go.” Junmyeon gave the thick book to you. While you were searching for the details in your mind, Junmyeon was dealing with the plan of construction.

You have been knowing each other since the last 10 years, working together was nothing but natural as breathing for both of you. Junmyeon was older than you and supposed to be superior to you, however he decided to pursue a career not in the field, but in the library, you became the leader of the archaeological team of Sejong Institute.

“Indy,” Junmyeon called you by your nickname. You automatically lifted your head, your nickname became your Pavlovian weakness, sometimes you forgot your real name. “Be a good girl and pass me the cookie jar.”

You wholeheartedly laughed at his face expression and threw him his favourite chocolate cookie.

“Do you want a cup of coffee?” you asked, stretching your body. “My battery is literally going down; let’s grab an americano.”

“Only if you buy me a carrot cake.”

Junmyeon had a sweet tooth, as he opened the package and swallowed the cookie just without even chewing.

“Okey, big boy.” you smacked his shoulder, standing up. “You are goddamn lucky for having that fast metabolism, you know.”

“My darling girl, I work out in a fucking routine.” he grinned like a 5-year-old boy. You really loved to see his cockiness. “My body ratio is not a heavenly gift; I gain every muscle with tears and blood.”

“What kind of god can reward you, shitty dandy?” you chuckled. “You are a walking blasphemy.”

“Still better than you.” Junmyeon pulled your hair by laughing.

“You are definitely right.” you lolled your tongue out of your mouth. “Come on, move your bloody but peachy butt!”

Actually, you were shy, quiet but quick to make sharp remarks. However, Junmyeon was more than a teammate; he was the closest one to a brother for you, you have been always so relaxed when you were with him. The outcome of your friendship was the freedom of speech, you could be vocal as much as you wanted. Junmyeon was never offended by anything you would say, the same applied also to you. You were his dear sister, your families became friends because of you.

You could not imagine your life without Junmyeon.

“What do you think about the digging session?” you asked to him when you were waiting in the line. Junmyeon was trying to select his dessert, carrot cake was already forgotten.

“Well, you will be the team leader, that is sure thing.” he huffed. “Most probably they will ask you who do you want in your team, and you will not name me if you want to live.”

“You are the last one who I am going to choose when it comes to work in the trenches.” you smirked. “Who wants a cry baby in the field?”

“Oh.” Junmyeon turned you, shooting a dirty look, which only led you to bite your upper lip in order to prevent bursting into laughs. “You need a brain; those muscular tough babies cannot figure even how to use tools out.

“But they do not run away when they see a bug.” you could not help but start to laugh. “Do you r-

“Shut the fuck up.” Junmyeon covered your mouth with his hand. “You are banned to talk about that incident from now on. Ever.”

“But,” you took his hands off you, tears forming in the edges of your eyes due to the memory you remembered. Junmyeon gave you a deadly stare, but you could not help. “You were running over the hill because you came across to a spider in your trench. Didn’t you give up on becoming Indiana in our first digging session?”

“No, I preferred to protect my own dignity.” he shook his head, then he also burst into laughs. “Jesus, I hate spiders and one Indy is enough for the family.”

“At least you learned that X never marks the spot before quitting.” you murmured, then pointed what you want to him. “Blueberry muffin, Jun. It looks yummy.”

“At least you learned that rolling in the dirt is not for the people who has a class.” Junmyeon ordered two americanos, one blueberry muffin and one red velvet cake. “Jokes aside, there are some gossips. Did you hear any of them?”

“Damnit, yes.” you exhaled and pinched the bridge of your nose. “The Executive Board is thinking to build a collaboration between us and Sunkyungwan people.”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon sat down on a chair, helped you to settle yourself. “And if they do, you know who is going to be the other team leader, right?”

“Do not tell me.” you covered your ears with your hands. You knew, you already heard the possible name, however even the possibility was giving you nothing but headache. “That’s why I asked your opinion. If that bastard will be my fucking colleague for Chios, I think I will pass this session”

“Hell, over my dead body.” Junmyeon aggressively grasped his little fork. “I know how much you guys despise each other, but this is your fucking career. Do not even dare to think you can turn your back to an opportunity.”

“But, Ju-

“No.” he was firm as fuck. “If they will give you the excavation of Chios, you will be fucking happy and you will accept their fucking propose. Chios will be the icing of the cake for you, you always want to lead an excavation in the Aegean.”

“You are right.” you knew when the occasion called to not push Junmyeon’s limits. Career came first, the rest is not important was his mentality. “You are right, but I really do not draw myself working with him.”

“Ignore him. You do not have to see him every day, ditch him in the field, goddamn.” Jun chewed a mouthful bite of his cake. “I do not want you to be facing with the Board, standing for no ground. If they will manage to build the connection, Sunkyungwan will appoint Byun Baekhyun as the leader for sure.”

You did not answer his god-fucking-damn-it prediction, but even thinking about it made you want to puke.

You vividly remember Byun Baekhyun, a fucking tease, and a smartass, from your bachelor years. You were not the type of people who could easily hate someone, but you hated Byun Baekhyun since the first day you met. He was a cockhead and dandy, he was a real scumbag, always so full of himself, underestimating everyone and their abilities, thinking he was the star of the universe. To your dismay, both of you were accepted from same university for your master and you had to endure his presence till he accepted the offer of Sunkyungwan.

You never tell this to Junmyeon, hell, he would not spend even a second to kill you if he would learn this, but you turned the offer of Sunkyungwan just because of Byun Baekhyun’s acceptance.

You hated him to the bits.

And you really did not know what the heck you were going to do if Sejong’s Executive Board was going to approve the collaboration. You looked at Junmyeon, he certainly was not going to let you to turn the offer down, and this time you could not hide the fact from him.

You grunted inside of your brain.

The Beginning of May, Sunkyungwan, the Department of Archaeology

Byun Baekhyun was happy.

More than happy till now.

He just stormed into his room, trying to register the news.

You? Were you really going to be his fucking colleague for fucking three months?!

He remembered you very well, and he was %100 sure of there was no person in this universe, he despised more than you. He even could not endure to share same atmosphere with you. He always wanted to fuck your attitudes out of you since he met you.

And was he really going to see your fucking face for three months, in an island?!

It had to be a bloody joke. A bloody plot on Baekhyun.

“I said,” he screamed when he heard his door was opened. “I do not want to see anyone!”

“Even an old friend?” a kind voice asked, Baekhyun immediately turned to the door.

Junmyeon was there, smiling to him. Baekhyun was startled, he was definitely caught off guard.

“Hyung?” he murmured. “Junmyeon Hyung?”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon’s smile widened. “May I come or not?”

“JUNMYEON HYUNG!” Baekhyun forgot you for a second and threw himself onto Junmyeon. He loved Junmyeon very much, enough to forgive his close relationship with you. “Welcome!”

Junmyeon smiled and hugged to Baekhyun but averted his eyes from him.

There was a plan in Junmyeon’s mind since years, and he had the chance of making it true after the news of collaboration. He averted his eyes also from you because he did not want anyone to understand his real intentions about you and Baekhyun.

Junmyeon smiled to Baekhyun.

#baekhyun fluff #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun smut #byun baekhyun #baekhyun #exo baekhyun #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun angst #exo series #exo fanfiction #exo x reader #exo fanfic #exo smut #exo #exo fic #exo imagines

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kcatta-wodahs · 4 years

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MC Who Does Not Fear Death x OM! Demon Brothers

Or maiming, or apparently any other consequences. You’ve walked into this situation with absolutely no filter and no fear. Time to tear down every structure of Devildom society.

Lucifer

You look at him with a withering stare when he tries to intimidate you into behaving.

“I was summoned out of my trashy apartment to this place, where literally anyone could snap me like a twig on accident. I’m just working on the assumption that I’m already dead.”

He sternly looks at you. “You’re under my protection during your time here. No harm will come to you.”

You snort derisively, which visibly irritates him. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t come back to haunt you if it happens.”

As you continue through your life in Devildom he keeps calling you out for meddling and all that, like usual, and he HATES that you literally *do not care* when he threatens you.

Like HE knows that he wouldn’t hurt Diavolo’s transfer student but YOU are supposed to be AFRAID of him dammit.

His frustration at this ends up turning into a form of respect. You’re about the only person who will stand up to him, and tbh like you’re so fucking fragile but you’ll yell at him all day? That takes guts. Annoying guts. But you’ve got guts.

But also STOP IT. He has enough stress in his life and now he’s constantly terrified that you’ve decided it’s a great idea to adopt a baby balrog

Which you did once. He’s just afraid that “Flamin Hot Cheeto” is going to come back since you somehow managed to imprint on it.

despite the fact that the BABY could easily tear your arms off on accident

Not to mention he gets the flack for EVERY SINGLE ONE of these following stories. You stress him out so much. Please. Please, stop.

He’s almost to the point of begging. The Avatar of Pride is three steps away from either locking you away for the rest of the year or begging on his knees for you to calm down.

But you know you’d find a way out if he locked you up so no worries. It’ll be a good challenge.

Mammon

“Well you WON’T be dead because it’s my job to protect you! Are you doubting the Great Mammon?!”

Stupid human. Yeah, you’re fragile and weak, but that’s why HE’S your bodyguard now, and there’s no way in hell (lol) that he would let you die on his watch.

Lucifer would kill him.

You welcome the challenge, and he thinks it’s funny at first but quickly becomes a flustered mother hen.

“NO, we are NOT going out to Madam Scream’s at 3am! Do ya know what kinda CREEPS are out there at 3am?!”

And you sneak out the fucking window.

He has had more heart attacks in the past week than he has had in the last 100 years of life.

He starts agreeing to your ridiculous adventures JUST because then he can actually keep an eye on you.

He adores the chaos of the laugh that bursts from you every time you narrowly escape death.

He HATES how often you have to NARROWLY ESCAPE DEATH. So he will never tell you.

He almost doesn’t have time for his own shenanigans anymore, because all his time is taken up by trying to make sure you stay alive.

And you’ve figured out that if you turn *any* of your ideas into a money-making one, he will join you whole-heartedly.

So you bribe him because what’s money to you anymore anyway?

Leviathan

I mean he doesn’t leave his room much, so tbh he probably just gets texts from you that make him want to scream.

‘hey uh levi say if someone were to hypothetically be stuck in a succubus’ devil basement to become an unwilling sacrifice to asmo what would that person, hypothetically, do?’

‘probably die’ is usually all he sends back

You always come back, because he always sends a text to the other brothers. In that case Asmo came to rescue you himself and scold the succubus.

You become the friend that he makes funny throwing-shade reddit posts about. (Devvit? Devil reddit? Eh??)

‘Levi so this has nothing to do with anything but is there a cure for a dangerously potent ‘always win at rock-paper-scissors' curse? Asking for a friend’

‘Friend is being held hostage tho so maybe be quick about a response’

He didn’t even know that kind of curse existed. None of them did. What the fuck did you do.

How did you get taken captive by playing rock paper scissors?

He doesn’t know. Nobody does. He expects the play-by-play so he can recommend it as a new anime to his favorite producers.

Somehow your chaotic plans end up with stories almost as great as TSL.

Beelzebub

He physically carries you around.

He’s like “fuck this you can’t get into trouble if I’m holding you.”

If Beel’s on MC watching duty, he’s almost the only one who is successful, just because you physically cannot get away.

But at the same time, he is very easily bribed.

So yes, he’ll go to Madam Scream’s with you at 3am. Sounds like fun.

But he is very protective after losing someone he cares about (who you remind him of so much….) so he keeps you close when you’re out and about too.

If you start getting into a fight with some other demon he literally just takes the fight for you and wins with no trouble at all.

You like having Beel with you.

Especially finding street festivals! You’re in a whole new world and there’s a MILLION things to try. Beel is more than happy to try them with you.

But that leads to arguments about whether deadly creatures to humans are still deadly when dead.

“No, you can’t eat that it’s on fire. I know even small fires hurt humans. I’ll eat it for you.”

“That hot sauce makes every demon I know cry. You really shouldn’t buy a bottle. Please. No, don’t try it. No, that’s too much for one-- oh. Oh no.”

He forgives you as long as you don’t actually get hurt and you give him your leftovers.

Asmodeus

“If I get wrinkles because of you I promise you will never hear the end of it. I will curse you forever.”

He swears on every single one of his lovers that you have started giving him grey hairs.

GREY HAIRS, MC.

Why can’t you just settle down and let them all take care of you? You don’t have to prove anything to the other demons!

But you will. You’re living in Devildom now, and by everything unholy, you are going to live that life to its fullest extent.

He was thrilled at first when you were all for joining him at his nightclubs and parties. Now he hides every party’s date from you.

That time you almost threw yourself off a balcony to try and emulate a very drunk demon’s newest dance move.

“I need to stay TRENDY, Asmo!! I’ll be fine!!”

Ever since learning Demonus doesn’t affect humans you have challenged every single stuck-up tough boy to a drinking contest.

And every single time you win, Asmo has had to *narrowly* save you from being killed by said demon.

And you just say “he deserved it” every time.

And like, yeah okay, he probably did but YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE.

Somehow, you manage to out-party Asmo.

dON’T TELL THE OTHERS but he lives for the times when you practically fall asleep on his shoulder while coming home from a rager. You may not get drunk, but when you’re sleepy, you’re so affectionate and something in his heart melts.

Satan

At first, Satan was all for the rebellious “life life with no restraints” thought process you explained to him.

I mean, he didn’t like the assumption that he and his brothers couldn’t control themselves to not accidentally kill you, but also… fair.

But he didn’t realize that this mindset followed through for EVERY demon in ANY place.

Including RAD, where old and wizened demons were *really* not used to being contradicted

Which led to you “accidentally insulting” your 5000 year old Human Studies professor by giving them a pop quiz on current memes (which they failed).

And left Satan as the one who had to make sure that said professor didn’t kill you.

And the thing is, this keeps happening.

You’ve written all over the school’s library books, pointing out every error.

You *continue* to argue with the demons who threaten to kill you when you say silly things like “No, Solomon did not learn his sorcery at Hogwarts because Hogwarts isn’t REAL.”

(Solomon, meanwhile, refutes you vehemently and seems to grow three inches taller every time you glare at him.)

Satan assures you that he values knowledge and truth and all that, but could you maybe find a less dangerous way to push it?

No can do, Satan, because you already had plans with Mammon to use a curse that writes the history of the actual Sorceric Academy that Solomon attended like 400 years all over the desks in Human Studies. It’s activated by anyone saying “Hogwarts”.

No, no, Satan, it’s brilliant, because you can’t do magic. It can’t be you who did it.

Satan, no don’t tell Lucifer.

I thought you hated him. Satan, wait.

You are the only person in the history of ever who convinces him to come to Lucifer for intervention. You wear that badge with pride and also deep, deep, bitter sadness.

Belphegor

Like, through the plot your willingness to be a thorn in anyone’s side just to get more information really works for Belphie.

He’s like all I gotta do is ask? Sweet. Yeah. Go, human.

But then when he’s all big and threatening and “im gonna kill you” and you just kind of look at him and nod like “yeah, this checks out.”

Frankly, that’s rude, MC.

And then he keeps threatening to kill you and it doesn’t even PHASE you like. You just keep listening to him rant and going “OH i think i get it now”

He liked that you were always looking for more information when he was the one pushing you around, but now?

No. Human, he is going to KILL you here, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

And then you do the time-travel bit, and see that he *literally has killed you in one timeline* and you just like

Shrug it off and keep talking about Lilith???????

Tbh what probably stopped him from doing it again is just that you’re fucking insane, MC

“MC, you literally just saw yourself dead in Mammon’s arms”

You wave your hand vaguely in his direction and say, “Yeah okay, but can we talk about the lack of communication in this household because it is tearing this family apart.”

What the fuck MC

When he’s back to normal, tbh he loves that side of you. He loves getting into shit when he’s not sleeping. He will 100% encourage you and be there to make sure that you *don’t* actually die again.

He’s the only one who doesn’t actually try to stop you. Who knew he was so into chaos.

But if you try to drag him to a plan when he should be sleeping he will be like Beel and literally just hold you down while he naps dammit. You brought this on yourself. He needs sleep.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me shitposts #obey me crack #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #bast babbles #my writing #obey me headcanons #gender neutral mc #re-reading this makes me vibrate with the need to destroy things #tldr is that humans are fucked up

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yanderecandystore · 3 years

Note

i ment dominick im so sorry!

Oh!

Alright boo, sorry for the misunderstanding! I was afraid I was missing something or that I forgot one of my own character's names

👉🏻👈🏻

A headcanon for Dominick would be easier for me to write for- But because you said just Dominick I believe I could do for both Real and "Other" Dominick.

I think it would be more fun!

TW/Tags: in case any of you are confused [🖤🧵✂️] // this is basically just general headcanons // eh, the lore is wonky // feeling awful sorry // not as in-depth as I wish it was, sorry //

I suppose this is going to be just general headcanons, boo [Yandere!Coraline OCS x Reader - Headcanon]:

→❤️Real Dominick🌲:

A chill dude for the most part. Although containing some unresolved abandonment issues, he tries to act as nothing is bothering him for "the sake of others". At least that's what he tells himself every time.

Dominick tries his best to be a peacemaker amongst the group, but even he can't deny that this is a tiring job that doesn't end up being fruitful for most of the time.

Dominick is just as touch-starved as he is dependent on others, the thought of living on his own and not being able to at least see his loved ones for a long period of time drives him insane. He really wants to seem emotionally strong and confident, but deep down he is aware that one day he'll have to open up about how he really feels.

He has met Richard and Vivian a lot sooner than you did, but honestly he doesn't know how he has become their friends in the first place. He always felt very distant from them, granted that he met them at a time of need, when he felt vulnerable for having no friends to be with, but also because of how different their personalities were to each other.

Don't get him wrong, he really likes them, he really does! He just doesn't vibe with them as hard as he wishes he could, but he knows that it would be impossible considering how they were literally glued on each other- He knew about them dating or at least liking each other way before you came into the scene.

Or more accurately, you came BACK into the scene. How oddly coincidental, you know his friends but you don't know they're friends with him, or if you did, you just tried to ignore it to this day. Now that you two live together, it would be very hard to ignore your presence.

He thinks you want nothing to do with him, nothing at all- So if you ever actually try to be more friendly with him he won't really see it as a good thing- You had ignored him for twelve years, and suddenly you two are, well, here!

His mind keeps making him feel terrible about himself, keeps making feel odd and awkward about your relationship- Or lack thereof. You look so different but act like the same as what he used to know you for, so anxious and so awkward with everything and everyone but still trying their best to be social.

He changed so much in comparison, from a sickly frail little boy looking for someone to be his protective shield, to a man way too big for his own good- His appearance although being ideal to him, makes it harder for him to interact with others who find him frightening.

Real Dominick would take a lot longer to actually fall in love with you again, considering that his old crush on you has turned more into a scar instead of a good old memory, but when he reopens that wounds to receive new ones, I hope you'll be ready for a awkward gentle giant having a awkward crush on you, while also having a couple of breakdowns where he blames you for causing him to feel this way, how neat!

→🖤Other Dominick🧵 (Male Beldam):

Other Dominick true personality is as foreign to others as it is to himself, as he had forgotten who he was and where he came from a long time ago.

Dominick is 100% not his real name, but it's not like he remembers what he used to be called by originally, although two names seem to stand out amongst the others- Dominick and Ernest.

Being called Dominick is- Not exactly the best for him. It feels almost annoying, as if it was an annoying name, something he should never be called as. Ernest on the other hand, feels- Fitting, but extremely depressing. So as much as being called "Other Dominick" may be a very annoying name for him, being called Ernest feels like being stabbed in the gut, so it's kinda obvious which is the best in this situation.

He doesn't know why being called Ernest gives him so much anxiety, and he doesn't remember what significance this name could have to him and his past life. Other Dominick has used so many different faces and names, just to lure the naive and desperate to his deadly embrace, yet he can barely remember the name of the fools he had attracted to his fabricated lie.

Maybe you're just a recent case, a new "fool" that found their way into his house without permission, and by doing so he has all the right to trap you in his web- After all, you're the intruder here, right? Yet oddly enough, you don't really feel like the others who had come here, you have sparked interest in his empty heart.

He notices that the energy that comes from you is a lot more satisfying than the others, at least for now, you have been able to subconsciously feed him for a longer period than the others, and by doing so he is more willing to let you live for longer, at least until you start to not love him as much, or start to test his patience beyond his limit.

His true form looks nothing like the "Dominick" you so lovingly looks up to, he may be just as tall, but he is much more thinner than the original, his long arms reminding you more of a death trap than a warm embrace. Not that he won't be gentle with you, for now.

Oddly enough, he doesn't take much to fall for you as much as Dominick does- The loneliness that he is accustomed with is not exactly the healthiest lifestyle for himself, so don't be surprised if he is already mixing his own hunger for attention to his very real hunger for naive hearts like yours.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Hello everyone, is good to see y'all again.

I've been away because of school work and family issues, and I can't lie that it has gone a bit more crazier this last few days. I went through a breakup and I'm currently struggling with the aftereffects of it-

I'm really sorry for the long wait, and for always closing the inbox out of nowhere, but I'm afraid to say this will probably keep happening a lot, I still need to take care of so many things-

Anyway, is good to see y'all again!

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #sheep's stuff #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere oc headcanon #yandere headcanon #yandere coraline #yandere coraline au #yandere coraline x reader #yandere beldam #male beldam #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request

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rosesupposesmanythings · 2 years

Text

About me

Thanks for the tag @berryconfetti

Why did you choose your url?

I use Rose consistently in my online spaces, I like musicals and for some reason my brain got stuck on “Moses Supposes (his toeses are roses)” from Singin in the Rain, and even though it’s hella long... I cba to change it. It started out as “many things” coz it wasn’t just sims then.

Any side blogs? If you have them name them and why you have them.

@poisongardensims - home of my poison garden challenge

@rosessupposesreplies - a hangover from when tumblr got rid of the reply function back in the 10s and we had to reblog to say nice things to each other. Now I reblog cc I’m gonna download to it

@colourcaste - a ((currently abandoned) TS3 dystopian story that I rebuilt an entire neighbourhood for. Apparently my love for complex dark stories is bigger than any sims iteration!

How long have you been on tumblr?

According to my first post, since October 2014! I was active through 2016 with TS3, then someone here introduced me to the X Files and I defected in a big way to a moderately successful fic writing blog, lurked 2019-21 and restarted here a few months back. Check under the cut for the terrifying pic from my first ever Sims post

Do you have a queue tag?

Not anymore

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Having just done a forensic dive, seems I did it to rant about a friend writer being trolled in comments until she was driven off writing completely (I had a sims legacy on blogspot from early 2014) and created this blog to respond to the drama! Then it became a place to tell stories and I attempted my first and only 100 baby challenge (I only made it to 6 kids)

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I just updated it - it was my Bachelorette sim from my 7 Deadly Sins BC that I did in 2016 and as I’m now mostly TS4 I changed it to Halcy who is my current colourful fav

Why did you choose your header? It is a house I built that I found a picture of when taking down my TS3 wedding shoot as above :D

What’s your post with the most notes? These surf shack TS3 cc posters I made. Of my reboot, almost certainly the Poison Garden TS4 rules

How many mutuals do you have? No idea? I follow most people who follow me because community is cool and the more the merrier.

How many followers do you have? About 500 but it’s totally meaningless, between the bots, the blog being 8 years old and my very patchy posting I’m just to still be here

How many people do you follow? 495 - but always room for more. Should probably clear out some very old inactives but if I can crawl back after 6 years, anyone can :D

Have you ever made a shitpost? Definitely.

How often do you use tumblr each day? 0-22 times

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won? I don’t have arguments, but if you are a dick to me or my friends I will say my piece and block your ass. I have experienced true drama (I was doxxed) in another fandom and once was enough thank you

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts: Unless mass posting it’s literally going to literally deflect an asteroid from impacting the earth, it’s a no from me. We never know how a person is doing. Some days people need safe spaces to look at pics of dogs and protect their mental health, they shouldn’t feel stressed or shamed into activism in these moments. My sister is fond of saying “rest is resistance” - bringing capitalist ideas about relentless productivity and constant consumption into your activism is counterproductive,. Rest when you need to so you can fight when you have to.

Do you like tag games?

Yes but I forget to do them

Do you like ask games?

I usually answer privately but sure

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

No idea - I once got recognised at a convention off my fic tumblr and that was by far the weirdest thang to have happened in my life.

Do you have a crush on a mutual? I never have crushes but I do love everyone a lot

Tagging anyone who feels like doing it!

#tag games #about me #text #long post #non sims

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thetypedwriter · 3 years

Text

Cold Iron Heart Book Review

Cold Iron Heart by Melissa Marr Book Review

I don’t think many people are aware or have read the Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr, but that’s alright. I originally started this book blog as I had so many thoughts and feelings about the books I was reading and yet no one to share them with.

So I might be talking to me, myself and I in this book review, but at the end of the day, it’s still a way for me to express how I feel about the literature I’m consuming even if no one else is reading this.

Wicked Lovely is one of my favorite series from when I was young. I still remember very clearly how my love story with these books started as it was odd and coincidental. I was at the grocery store with my mom and a promised “quick” trip quickly turned into an hour-long shopping spree as my mother was prone to do.

Back then I was in middle school, had no cell phone, and was bored out of my mind. So what is any pre-teen to do? I went over to the small, sad book selection in the grocery story and picked up the novel with the most interesting cover.

This book was Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr.

I read it the rest of the day and finished it that night, consuming page after page. I was completely transfixed. It was dark, gritty, violent, sexy-all things that my twelve-year old self found entirely fascinating.

It was a fantasy book about fairies, but these fairies were deadly, life-sized, cruel, violent, beautiful and loving.

I’ve been enamored with fairies and fairy lore ever since. All because of this book and the series that followed. It hooked me in ways that I still don’t fully comprehend, but I understood then that I hadn’t read anything like it before and I was drawn into Melissa Marr’s world and never quite left it, even all these years later. I’ve gone back and re-read Wicked Lovely multiple times and each time I still found it enjoyable and alluring.

Cold Iron Heart is a different beast.

A few days ago, my best friend (who is a journalist) sent me an email saying that local Arizona author, Melissa Marr, was releasing a new book and that she might have the opportunity to interview her.

I was ecstatic, of course, and not so subtly tried to persuade my friend to let me silently snoop in on the interview (I didn’t, by the way).

It was then that I realized I hadn’t checked in on Melissa Marr for some time-what had she been writing? Imagine my surprise that one of my favorite series of all time not only had a new book-a prequel no less, but also several new short stories.

I was flabbergasted. And beyond excited.

So I ordered the book immediately and read it the moment it arrived on my doorstep to eventually find myself with...mixed feelings with a negative tinge. Okay, more than a tinge, more like a cascading waterfall of negative feelings.

First off, the book is a prequel.

Now. Melissa Marr could have done so many cool things with this. There are so many interesting characters that I would have loved to see more in depth or delve into their histories.

Like Miach and Beira, for example. I’ve heard about the late Summer King since book 1, but never got to read about him as he was dead before the series began. However, his legendary love with Beira, the Winter Queen, would have been so incredibly bewitching to read about it, especially if it involved the birth of Keenan.

This would have been an awesome choice.

Irial and Niall would have been another incredible one, probably the best one. We’ve been told over and over again throughout the series that these two hot-heads with a past used to run the Dark Court together, wreaking havoc, taking lovers, seeking new heights, etc.

But do we get to see this transfixing time? Nope.

I would even have settled for a story about the Hunt, Sorcha and Bannanach, literally any character done in the right way.

But...no. Melissa Marr decides to write a prequel that is literally a carbon copy of the first book Wicked Lovely, but innumerably worse.

Everything in the prequel is exactly the same as the original novels. Miach is dead, Keenan is looking for his Summer Queen, the Winter Girl is pissed off for not being the chosen love of Keenan’s, Irial is temptation in the flesh, Niall and Irial are at odds, Bananach is causing discord, Sorcha is isolated and frigid, the list goes on and on.

Nothing of consequence, novelty, or importance happens in this book.

Frankly, it just felt like a terrible redo of the first novel, just set 100 years back.

I didn’t give a single flying crap about Thelma or Tam or whatever her name was. She was a worse version of Leslie, of Aislinn, of every other cool female character we eventually get to read about in the main series.

Thelma was contradictory in the worst of ways. She said one thing, like she would rely on no man and never have children and then turned around and did every single one of them like some sort of hypocrite galore.

She was so irritating and boring to read about that I tended to skim her parts because it was just paragraph after paragraph of bitching and moaning about the same goddamn things over and over again: stay away from fairies, oh god this fairy likes me, no sex, no children, no love and then bam! She just throws it all away.

Urgh.

The worst part too is that this isn’t a well written book. It’s repetitive, quite boring at times, and caters way too much to the reader.

Something I loved about the first Wicked Lovely is that Melissa Marr kinda just tosses you into her world and calls it a day. She doesn’t hold your hand or over explain. She just describes and lets you glean for yourself.

I loved this aspect of the original series. I liked learning about her world and the characters this way.

Cold Iron Heart spits on the idea of this concept. Marr repeats herself so much about the same things, who Irial is, what fairies are, why this is happening, that I grew increasingly irritated as the book went on.

Who on earth is she explaining this for? New readers? Why in the world would any new reader start with this book? The newest one that comes after six others???? It makes no goddamn sense.

So not only did I feel patronized and aggravated, but the love story between Thelma and Irial grated on me as there was no basis for their love.

It was ridiculous with no shred of authenticity and I hated it, especially knowing that he already loves Niall and Leslie only to come back and say, “wait a moment! I had another true love that I’ve never mentioned before. Yeah. Her name was Thelma. Or Tam. Or whatever, I don’t know. I knew her for three days, most of which was just sex, and then I lost her after she had my baby but I conveniently forgot about it because of nonsensical plot! Hahahah, good right?”

No. Not good. Horrible.

Overall, this book is a waste of time and trees.

I don’t know why Melissa Marr even wrote and published this. I can see her writing this for herself because why not, but as a fan and a reader this was beyond disappointing.

It’s like how all Harry Potter fans felt when J.K. Rowling wrote The Cursed Child and we got movies about Newt Scamander when we literally wanted anything else-Marauder series anyone??

It’s a particular kind of egregious offense when a favorite series or author of yours ends up ruining the canon you’re in love with. For that reason alone, I am stripping Cold Iron Heart from my heart and mind, like it never existed.

Just like I did with Cursed Child, or the fact that you-know-who dies in Death Note (if you know, you know). I just...don’t believe it. It ruined all the lovely things Marr had previously written and the stories that defined so much of my love for YA, for fantasy, and for my own writing as a whole.

I know for a lot of you this was a bumbling mess of a review with little to no clarity of the plot or who these characters are. Frankly, I’d be surprised if you are still reading if you didn’t know the book or the series in the first place, but that’s alright.

Like I said at the beginning, this is a way to get my intense feelings and thoughts down onto paper and now that I have I feel marginally better, although still pissed off that this book exists and that I currently own it.

Sigh.

Well if you stuck around for the ride, I appreciate it. If you skipped this particular book review, I understand that too.

Recommendation: Burn this book. However, if you want a gritty, tantalizing fantasy story, pick up the original Wicked Lovely and be whisked away into a world that has stuck with me since the first moment I read it on the fateful day at the grocery store.

Score: 3/10

#cold iron heart #melissa marr #wicked lovely #book blog #books #book review #Book Recommendations #YA Book Review #ya book rec #booklover #3/10

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 282: Aizawa Defeeted

Previously on BnHA: Oh my god do we even care about that at this point. Tomura made a speech; Gran Torino died; Deku lost his shit and tried to strangle Tomura to death with his bare hands; Ryuukyuu came back from Wherever She Was and tried to grab Tomura but he punched a hole through her giant hand; and now he’s grabbing his Quirk-Be-Gone bullets and is ready to cause some mayhem okay?? That about sum it up?? Is anyone even reading this?? CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH IT I’VE WAITED AN ENTIRE WEEK.

Today on BnHA: Well I guess let’s start with what doesn’t happen: Bakugou doesn’t lose his quirk. HE LUCKED OUT!!... for now, anyways. Because, thanks to a near-impossible-to-predict series of events (seriously, raise your hands if you had “Aizawa gets shot but goes full World War Z on his own ass” on your bingo card), Tomura has seemingly regained his regeneration powers, which means that his other quirks are probably back online as well! So we’ll see how that all goes. Anyway so in the meantime Shouto’s back, looking very mad that everyone temporarily forgot he was a main character. And Gigantomachia is back as well! Or almost, anyway. Also, you’ll never guess who broke another one of his arms! Go on, guess. But at least he still has the arm, though, which is more than we can say for certain other people’s limbs. Poor Aizawa is literally on his last leg. He and Tomura really got off on the wrong foot. He chopped his leg off, is what I’m saying. It’s that kind of chapter folks.

you guys I’m losing my whole fucking mind. I straight up deleted the tumblr app off my phone for 24 hours so that I wouldn’t be tempted to log in and risk potentially being spoiled. and I’m happy to say that it worked! so here we are now, completely spoiler free, and let me just say that if Horikoshi decides to cut back to Gunga Mountain now, I will either cry for hours or abandon the series forever and go do something more productive with the rest of my quarantine like learning how to play sad songs on the guitar

all right. here goes

so we’re opening with Deku, who is currently comprised of 100% rage and 0% mercy, and is doing that thing where only the whites of his eyes are visible. and basically he’s just thinking “I’VE REALLY GOT TO HOLD ON TO THIS GUY AND MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING ELSE HOMICIDAL.” which is a solid game plan, but perhaps not so easily accomplished

-- oh my god this poor kid is still in denial, I can’t. why are you doing this

is there even still a Gran Torino to tend to at this point? after Tomura bulldozed a hole through his torso, and you went and finished the job with your own fucking attack? sob

but I guess the law of Tragic Shounen Mentor Deaths mandates that Gran’s should be at least as drawn-out as Nighteye’s was, though. so he’s probably only Mostly Dead, which is still Slightly Alive if I remember my Princess Bride correctly, and I think I do

so now the rest of these stooges are finally catching up with us here

yes, my friends. a bullet. WELCOME TO MY LIFE FOR THE PAST FUCKING WEEK. anyways I have a LOT of pent-up energy here just fyi. there may be a lot of unnecessary screaming in this recap

FUCKING WYOMING SMASH Y’ALLSSSS

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT JUST HAPPENED SOB. DID HE JUST HAMMER FIST TOMURA’S HEAD INTO THE GROUND. DID HE SNAP HIS FUCKING NECK AT 100%. IN AN IDEAL WORLD HE WOULD HAVE JUST CHOPPED TOMURA’S ARMS OFF WHILE SOMEHOW MANAGING TO AVOID BREAKING ANY OF HIS OWN BONES IN THE PROCESS, BUT I HAVE A FEELING THIS SITUATION WILL NOT BE RESOLVED IN ANY KIND OF MANNER ONE WOULD CONSIDER “IDEAL”

(ETA: fun fact: this attack did absolutely nothing except make things approximately 100x worse. but you tried Deku. you tried.)

THE FUCK KIND OF PORTENTOUS BULLSHITTING TITLE IS THIS. OH MY GOD, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT EMOTION I’M HAVING RIGHT NOW, IT’S JUST A LOT OF LOUD THOUGHTS

anyway so if you’re just joining us, Tomura just pulled two bullets out of his pocket, the good guys finally noticed, and then Deku did a smash and everything exploded. the radius of this attack actually looks wide enough to have potentially involved Aizawa, who probably does NOT want to get any debris in his eyes right now, and also Gran, who probably doesn’t particularly want to be hit by another deadly attack for the third time in the past ninety seconds. anyway so I guess what I’m trying to say here is WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT YOU LITTLE GREEN LUNATIC

AHHHHHH

he got the one!! the one that was in Tomura’s right hand!! but what about the one in his left ahhhhhhh

(ETA: lmao at Kacchan being the one to blow up the same bullet I was so sure he was going to be shot with. saw the writing on the wall, huh kid? what do we say to the god of foreshadowing?? ‘NOT TODAY.’ ...except that we’re still not actually out of the woods yet so you still better watch yourself lol.)

...

based on the font here, these are Tomura’s thoughts. which he is thinking immediately after getting the lower half of his jaw very painfully cronched by the VERY homicidal sixteen-year-old still clinging to him. anyway so Tomura’s thought processes are as inscrutable to me as ever lulz

and Deku’s arm looks broken again, yaaaaay. but at least it’s his left arm and not his right! so that’s nice. now they can match

[SHRIEKS]

HE YEETED IT. IT HAS BEEN YEETEDED. HE DID A YEET. [sobbing] he DiD a YeEt oH my GOD

DID IT HIT SOMETHING!?!?!?

my reading process here is as follows: 1) scroll down exactly one panel. 2) scream even though absolutely nothing has happened yet. 3) WRITE THAT DOWN 4) REPEAT

DKSFJLKHSDLGKHLI

DID IT HIT HIM!?!? DID IT GET HIM IN THE LEG SOB ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. JUST LIKE THAT?? BOOM GUN BULLET LEG!!?

YOU GUYS IT REALLY HIT AIZAWA AND NO ONE DID A GODDAMN THING?? it wasn’t even drawn out or anything??? it just HAPPENED, within like four pages??? NO SLOW MO?? NOT EVEN A REACTION PANEL WHAT THE FUCK

son of a bitch I would so dearly like to grab Manual and RockLockRock’s heads right now and just conk them together real hard. YOU STUPID FUCKS sob YOU HAD ONE JOB!!! IT REALLY WAS JUST ONE!! AND YOU WERE SHARING IT!! SO IT’S MORE LIKE HALF A JOB!! AND YOU STILL COCKED IT UP IN ABSOLUTELY NO TIME AT ALL OH MY GOD

(ETA: they should blow this panel up and make it into a t-shirt and make Manual and RLR wear the shirts every day for the rest of their lives. half a job, you guys. please go away I cannot even look at you right now.)

FUCK MY EVERYTHING

(ETA: I still can’t figure out if this horrific angle is due to the earlier damage from the Noumu, or if Tomura really just flung the bullet THAT hard. honestly I’m surprised it didn’t just slice right through him with that kind of velocity. “no thanks because then I wouldn’t get to write a scene where he chops his own leg off” oh okay well when you put it that way, Horikoshi.)

if I recall correctly this is the leg that he said was “twisted”, no? yeesh. might just want to chop it off real quick, then. s’not like it’s doing you any more good. does anyone know if zombie rules apply or not with this sort of thing?? shit

?!?!

“THANKS”?? okay what. did it hit him or not??

-- oh my god WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT

I WAS -- I WAS JOKING I -- FFFFFFFFKJK

jesus fucking christ. when I said “might just want to chop it off real quick” literally FOUR PARAGRAPHS AGO, I can tell you that the one thing I did NOT expect was for Aizawa to be all, “you know what, that’s a good idea”, and then YOINK OUT HIS TRUSTY HERO SHANK AND GO FULL 127 HOURS ON THIS BITCH. "LALALA WE’RE GONNA DO IT RATIONALLY TEEHEE” like excuse me, the fuck

anyways. I don’t even know what to say. thank you Aizawa’s leg for your sacrifice, and for always supporting him. literally. oh my god I came here ready for my son to enter a new phase of character development, and for the manga as a whole to enter a new phase of glorious, glorious angst. no one told me I’d be sitting here making puns instead. what a fine, confusing day

anyway though let’s just fucking hope it worked. and side note, if Aizawa Shouta really did chop off his own fucking leg just now and somehow STILL managed not to fucking blink, I think we might as well just go ahead and hand him the Biggest Badass In The Series award right now because no one is ever going to top that. nope. not happening

it is truly a testament to Shigaraki Tomura’s unfathomably mysterious sexy villain energy that he still somehow manages to look hot with only half a face

also no one in this manga actually feels pain, do they. not Deku, not Aizawa, not Tomura, no one. no wonder none of them have any self-preservation instincts to speak of

did someone just randomly explode just now. at this point it might as well happen, right

oh it’s the shockwave from Deku’s Wyoming attack, apparently. how nice of it to have a delayed reaction for absolutely no reason

anyway so Deku’s being flung back, but he’s grabbing onto Tomura again with Blackwhip. but oh shit you guys, if Tomura escapes Deku and Ryuukyuu’s clutches and still has any bullets left in his pocket, we may still be able to salvage this Bakugou quirk situation after all. would be nice to be able to actually do something with all of these “happy quirk losing day” balloons that I ordered

(ETA: actually, believe it or not I honestly like this better. Tomura using AFO was always the more dramatic option anyway. and now that we’ve done the bullet thing everyone has presumably let their guard down again, which, good.)

I love how Tomura apparently hasn’t noticed that Aizawa’s just amputated his own leg? to be fair he’s probably distracted by all the explosions and such

also gotta love how Deku’s arm-breaking attack seemingly just made everything worse for no reason. and also how Manual and RockLockRock are once again just standing there doing absolutely nothing

SO NOW GUESS WHAT’S HAPPENING

I MEAN IT! GUESS. BECAUSE YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE LOL

OH WELL OKAY THEN

just like we all saw coming!! ...

so is this Endeavor’s attack?? Bakugou’s?? either way, hot damn. fortunately for Tomura he is apparently operating under the same guidelines as the U.S. Federal Reserve, in which mutilated bills may still be exchanged at face value if more than 50% of a note identifiable as United States currency is present. basically as long as roughly half of him is still vaguely Tomura-shaped I assume he’ll be fine

(ETA: in hindsight I should have immediately been able to identify this as a Shouto attack based solely on how murdery it was lol.)

OH MY GODDDD

KRANCH?!?

OH MY GOD LOL WHAT. LOL. REMEMBER EVERYONE’S THEORIES FROM LIKE TWENTY YEARS AGO LOL. SHOUTO WHAT THE FUCK. DID YOU STOP FOR DRIVE THRU

AND MEANWHILE DEKU’S BACK ON THE SCENE GIVING ARGUABLY EVEN LESS FUCKS THAN BEFORE, IF SUCH A THING IS EVEN POSSIBLE. SO FAR THIS CHAPTER HAS PRECISELY ZERO THINGS THAT I ACTUALLY EXPECTED IN IT, WHICH IS VERY IMPRESSIVE

IT ALSO HAS A LOT OF SMASHING

a LOT. of smashing, guys. feels like... 60% smashing, 20% severed legs, 20% Kranch

-- oh no oh SHIT oh shit oh shit

(ETA: um so I really can’t tell how far that wound extends and whether or not Aizawa still has his right eye, shit.)

first of all how did Deku get here next to Aizawa when he was just over there with Tomura, what. and second, I think Aizawa just blinked, oh shit. probably on the verge of passing out after CHOPPING HIS OWN LEG OFF which STILL hasn’t been acknowledged yet?? did I just completely misinterpret all of that back there or what

(ETA: there was seriously so little attention called to this that I scrolled back up to confirm it probably like half a dozen times. apparently Horikoshi thinks that THE MOST BADASS THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN THE MANGA should be completely downplayed. whereas if it were me, there’d be an entire two page spread of JUST THE LEG. WITH MUSIC PLAYING. EVEN THOUGH IT’S A MANGA.)

YEPPPPPPP. fuck

look at him though. he’s so happy. this is why I can’t stay mad at you no matter how deranged you get you little maniac

so is quirk-stealing back on the menu then or what. don’t think I’ve been lulled into any kind of false sense of security by any of this lol

-- ARE WE SERIOUSLY CUTTING AWAY

so Todoroki really went after them ALONE. the better to put his dad right back up at the top of the Lose Your Quirk Sweepstakes finalists. well... second-to-top, maybe. like I said I will not be lulled

yuh-oh

why do I feel like the odds of Gigantomachia arriving to herald the end of this chapter just shot up DRAMATICALLY

so the next page is almost entirely just a list of cities that the news anchor is telling people to evacuate because they’re in Machia’s path. along with a bunch of dead heroes lying around everywhere, and Ochako being all ominous

(: weren’t they, though? heh. this is going to be so, so bad (: (: (:

-- fuuuuuuuuuuu

aaaaaand that’s it. hahahaha. okay then let’s summarize

Bakugou defied all expectations and kept his quirk (FOR NOW)!

Aizawa cut his own fucking leg off and it WASN’T EVEN REMOTELY ACKNOWLEDGED FOR REASONS I CAN’T UNDERSTAND (R.I.P. AIZAWA’S PRECIOUS LEG. YOU ALWAYS PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD)

Kranch showed up after 157 years and is probably wondering why the heck I keep calling him “Kranch” now. THINGS CHANGE WHEN YOU’RE MIA FOR A WHILE MY LITTLE STARBUCKS CHRISTMAS CUP

Deku broke his arm for the 78th time

Tomura regenerated but seems to think Aizawa’s quirk is actually gone for good, which I’m pretty sure it’s not. so if they can keep him from destroying everything long enough for Aizawa to turn it back on again, we might possibly still survive this

and lastly, Machia is about to kill all of these stupid people frolicking around outside of this fitness club who are probably so proud of themselves for not being glued to their phones 24/7 because they prefer to LIVE LIFE IN THE MOMENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. well that’s on you my friends. at least it’ll be a quick death. ffff

#bnha 282 #aizawa shouta #shigaraki tomura #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #sorry for all the leg puns #it's in my nature #I can't help it if I find this kind of situation humerus #...oh no wait that's arms #dammit

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zazzander · 2 years

Text

Titan War, Evidence for a Major Defeat

I'm putting this here for my own reference.

First, most obvious - the centurions

Centurion title usually refers to a commander of 80 legionaries (plus 20 staff who make the total into 100). In the books, they only lead a group of 40. That's bascially half-strength.

Nominally the commander of a century (Latin: centuria), a military unit of around 80 legionaries. In a Roman legion, centuries were grouped into cohorts commanded by their senior-most centurion. [Wikipedia "Centurion"]

Second, far less obvious, the principia is in the wrong spot

So the principia is always - always - in the middle of the camp. It's the command tent. It seens to be both centrally located and the most defensible position. But, it's solidly canon both in the text and in the official art that the prinicpia isn't in the middle.

Even more reason why it should be as well defended as possible is that the treasure room is in that building.

'That has been in the principia treasure room for centuries, Frank said. 'No one can wield it. It's too heavy to draw. Believe me, I would have if I could have. Since it was originally a gift from you to the legion, it seemed only right that we give it back. With your godly strength returning, we figured you could put it to good use.' [Tyrant's Tomb]

Here we see that they even have gifts from the gods in that room. It's vital that the principia is well protected.

So why would it be off centre? Unless it once was in the centre, but then the camp changed around it. After all, the building is made of stone while exterior walls are made of wood.

Third, the ten year service requirement

Hazel said. “When you’re accepted into the legion, you do ten years of service. After that, you can muster out whenever you want." [Son of Neptune]

Now, we don't know the average age for demigods to arrive at Camp Jupiter. But it is said that 16 (Percy's age) is very late. We know that Octavian, who's a good baseline considering his family's history, joined around the ages 10-12.

So let's assume the average age is 11. That means they don't finish, on average, until the age of 21. Of course, people like Frank who join at 15 don't finish until they are 25!

All that means is that the senior officers of the legion should all be highly experienced 7+ years. And therefore 18+.

But this isn't the case.

Octavian spread his arms, revealing his harp tattoo, the symbol of his godly forefather. Seven slash marks indicated his years of service - more than any presiding officer, including Reyna. [Blood of Olympus]

So, Octavian is the longest serving commander at this point. This obviously doesn't include Jason (who's younger than Octavian anyway) and Gwen (who's old enough to enter college, so probably a similar age to Octavian, maybe a little older).

So the question is what happened to his seniors?

Lacking strength

Hazel pursed her lips. “We have defences. The borders are magical. But our strength isn’t what it used to be. Lately, the monster attacks have been increasing. What you said about the gorgons not dying… we’ve noticed that too, with other monsters.” [Son of Neptune]

The Greek Weapons Issue

“What is that?” Hazel asked. “I’ve never seen a sword like that.”

“I have,” Reyna said darkly. “It’s very old – a Greek design. We used to have a few in the armoury before…” She stopped herself. “The metal is called Celestial bronze. It’s deadly to monsters, like Imperial gold, but even rarer.”

It's important to remember that the Varus expedition is not a secret. It's talked about a lot. Percy is literally told the story on his first night. It's a story of hubris and a warning to newbies.

[Frank speaking] “Just got here last months. But everyone’s heard the story. It’s bad luck to even talk about this. There was this huge expedition to Alaska back in the eighties…” [Son of Neptune]

So this begs the question, why is Reyna so hesitant to speak? Why does her expression go dark? And she even says she has seen a sword like that. And that they used to have some in the armoury. Sure, this could be referring to her time on Circe's Island. But she mentions the armoury specifically, then trails off.

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so--many-fandoms · 4 years

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I saw a post that got me thinking about Percy being a more constant figure in camp once he’s semi retired from all the prophecy nonsense/world saving drama and like. He’s definitely a big fan of younger kids, he loves helping newcomers get over all the confusion of finding out the gods exist and the often traumatic experience of being brought to camp and missing their family/friends, making them feel at home, basically being what Luke was to him in TLT but without the betrayal. He’s experienced enough not to need any of the basic skills classes newer campers spend all day in and old enough to be trusted to fill his own time and not need constant supervision, so he spends a lot of time hanging out with the newbies to answer their questions & tell really toned down stories about his past experiences (ex: talking about That Time He Was A Literal Guinea Pig but making it sound less scary and more hilarious). (They’re always super shocked when they end up hearing about all the world saving he did and realizing that those little stories were actually dangerous parts of such Deadly & Important quests.)

Also, all the older teens probably trade off watching over the younger kids &leading activities/lessons, but he really enjoys it and so probably spends a lot more time on it than the others. I know it is (or used to be) common fanon that he taught sword fighting, and while I’m sure he sometimes makes guest-lecturer style appearances, I feel like he’d like leading less necessary-for-survival activities; he’s definitely got some lasting trauma from Tartarus and all the other shit he went through as a Literal Child, he probably doesn’t really like the thought that he’s helping prepare other kids that age to go through the same stuff. So, what does he teach instead? Horse/Pegasus riding! Especially for the really young kids, he’s able to talk to the horses so he can explain “hey this kid’s never seen a horse before so they might be a bit rough, no need to panic just let me know if they’re holding the reins too tight or anything and I can get them to fix it”, which I feel like would make the whole thing a lot easier and less stressful for everyone involved. If there’s a kid in class who’s really upset about something, he’ll put them on Blackjack or another horse/Pegasi he has a particularly good relationship with and ask them to take the kid flying/running around camp to help distract him. He’s definitely 100% willing to supervise and play translator for any kid that particularly enjoys riding and wants to build a relationship with their horse, so he spends several hours a week hanging out with little 10 year olds translating anything from questions about ribbon color preference to angsty tween monologues to “oooh the new brush feels nice, wait, my shoulder itches, a little to the left...” and becomes a confident for half of the camp because they can pretend they’re just talking to the horse but sometimes he’ll cut in with his own advice or commentary on the horse’s, and everyone knows he’ll never gossip about it; it also helps that he’s easy going and funny and never afraid to offer an embarrassing story about himself to distract a kid from something or offer solidarity (yeah, I might be good at the lava wall now, but I too was terrible at it at first, here’s this hilarious story of the time I accidentally got my shirt burned off while trying to show off for my crush, etc.) and just. Everyone loves him. He doesn’t have a cabin full of siblings like most campers so he adopted ALL the campers and now he’s everyone’s big brother.

Naturally, he also supervises recreational swim time (he’s the best lifeguard and he can make sure the ocean stays calm and dangerous/painful creatures stay away) and leads pretty much all of the water-based activities like sailing and canoeing and anything like that. He teaches swim lessons for anyone who comes to camp not knowing how, and pretends not to notice the small group of campers in the class who pretend not to be capable swimmers to spend more time around him in a swimsuit (listen, they know he’s taken, but he’s also extremely hot and they know how to appreciate art when they see it, okay?). Sometimes he’ll take some of the youngest campers to the lake when they have free time and spend a few hours ‘practicing his powers’ by taking them all down in bubbles, letting them walk on water or lifting them into the air, and basically going along with any game or trick they can think of. (One time they got him to make a literal waterslide that was so y’all they could see all of camp and beyond it in several directions. It took a lot of his energy to hold it but he managed for long enough that practically every camper got a turn.)

I also imagine that he’d be totally down to help any camper get over any kind of ocean/water related phobia. No need to fear drowning when you’re swimming with a guy who can literally control the water and let you breathe under it! Scared of sharks? He’ll let you hang out with him in the water with a promise that he’ll keep all the sharks away, let you know if anything bigger than a sardine is nearby, tell them they’re not allowed to bite you, and/or he can even introduce you to one if you want! He notices a kid sitting on the sand while the rest of their cabin/friends are splashing around in the waves and learns that they’re afraid of riptides? Don’t worry, he’ll make sure the only riptide at this beach is his pen-sword!

Basically Percy was made to be the perfect cross between Chill Counselor and Protective Older Brother and also never do anything stressful ever again because he’s Done Enough and he deserves better, godsdammit.

#percy jackson #pjo #Percy: meets a new demigod #Percy: youre my child now

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snowdice · 4 years

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Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 24)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Janus, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Janus, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Meanwhile, everyone else is trying to find a missing 15 year old, all with different pieces of the puzzle about where he is. It really is too bad that no one is answering their phones.

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned, explosions, car crashes (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 My Master Post

Logan had kept them in the meeting room for literal hours, pausing only to feed everyone except Patton and Virgil (who had actually eaten dinner). Eventually, he decided that he was satisfied with the explanations (Well, no, perhaps not satisfied, he was still very displeased with everyone except Virgil and maybe Emile, though Emile had not helped himself when he’d realized that he’d spoken both to Patton and Remus in the grocery store near Remy’s house early and he and Patton had proceeded to go off on a tangent about pasta.) and had taken them all to some of the hotel style rooms in the base.

The room Remy, Emile, Janus, and Virgil were in had two double beds. Virgil and Janus had claimed one of the beds already and were currently curled up together on it both asleep. Janus had apparently picked up Virgil’s stuffed spider from home and stuck it in his pocket. He had ordered Remy to dry the slightly damp toy with a hair dryer before consenting to laying down. The two of them had fallen asleep easily after their long days, the stuffed spider laying on the top of Janus’s chest and Virgil’s arm thrown around him loosely.

Emile had stayed up longer and taken a shower before emailing his receptionist asking her to cancel all of his appointments for tomorrow (or today as it was by now). He’d climbed into bed a couple of minutes ago, leaving Remy the only conscious one in the room.

Virgil stirred awake as Remy stood up from the chair he’d been sitting on and stepped towards the door. “Dad?” he asked.

Remy took a detour to stand by his bedside and stroke a few of the curls that were still damp from his shower away from his face. “Go back to sleep, kid.”

“Where’re you going?” he asked.

“Just gonna go grab some coffee,” he said.

“It’s night,” he pointed out.

Remy cracked a grin. “Yeah, well, you know me.” He tapped him on the nose. “I’ll be right in the mini kitchen outside.”

“Kay,” Virgil agreed, laying his head back on Janus’s chest. Janus never stirred, dead to the world in the way he only ever was when Virgil was snuggled up against him.

Remy closed the door quietly behind himself and wandered over towards the kitchen.

“Can’t sleep?” Patton asked when he stepped into the little area. The man was sitting at the small two-person table with a mug of what looked like tea and a box of Oreos.

“Having trouble chilling out,” Remy replied. “You know how it is.” Patton hummed in acknowledgement as Remy investigated the coffee maker.

“You know,” Patton said amused. “If your trying to calm down and sleep, coffee may not be the best solution.”

“Babe, do you know me at all?” Remy asked. Patton just shook his head.

“Besides,” Remy continued. “Who said I was planning on sleeping any time soon?”

“You should try to sleep,” Patton said, frown clear in his tone even though Remy was turned away, putting coffee grounds into the machine.

“Says the man already out here eating cookies at half past 1.”

“Touché.”

They were silent until Remy’s coffee was finished. Remy poured himself a cup and went to sit across from him. “Thanks for not shanking the little bastard on sight.”

Patton’s nose scrunched. “I should have known he was yours with that mouth of his,” Patton said, then he shook his head. “He’s a cute kid.”

“He held a knife to your neck.”

Patton shrugged. “It’s not the first time I befriended someone with a deadly weapon on me,” he said. He pushed the packet of Oreos over to him. “I hope you realize I’m filing for joint custody.”

Remy laughed. “I figured after I heard you spent over 3 hours in a car with him.”

“I’m going to teach him how not to curse and why falling asleep during a kidnapping is not ideal.”

“Well, Emile’s already tried his hardest on the first front, so good luck, and the boy likes to nap at inopportune times, what can I say?”

“Takes after his dad.”

“I am both insulted and flattered simultaneously.”

Patton giggled softly.

“But, seriously,” Remy said. “I do owe you for making sure Virgil was okay even if you didn’t know he was my spawn.”

Patton shrugged. “You don’t owe me anything.” He paused. “Well, you could buy me some cheese since I’d just bought a bunch to make mac and cheese, and it all went bad during the long car ride.”

Remy snorted. “Why do the lactose intolerant fear no god?” he asked. “But, sure, I’ll be happy to reimburse you and endorse your hedonistic ways.”

Patton smiled at him and finished off his tea.

Despite his suggestion that Remy head to bed a few minutes before, he did not put his mug in the sink, but filled it back up with water and popped it into the microwave. Remy turned back to his coffee for a moment and immediately felt arms come around him. “Thanks for not being dead,” Patton said into his ear.

Remy chuckled and patted his arm. “You’re welcome Patty, but really what did everyone expect? I’ve got a couple of kids to raise still.”

Patton just hummed and kept hugging him until the microwave beeped. He grabbed his mug then and plopped another tea bag into it.

“So, not what you planned for your weekend, huh?” Remy asked.

Patton shook his head sitting back down. “I was going to make the mac and cheese and watch reruns of Parks and Rec,” he said wistfully. Then he grinned. “I probably would have still been awake at this hour anyway.”

“Oh, Pat. How many times have you watched that show?”

Patton just smiled at him, eyes sparkling. “We really should try to get some sleep,” Patton said.

“Yeah, well, Emmy snores.”

“And Lo kicks,” Patton said, “when he’s not trying to crush me. Not that trying to sleep in the same bed as one of the twins is any better.”

Remy snorted. “Didn’t take Logan for a cuddling type.”

“Oh, he always tries to deny it, but he’s a big softie.”

“Explains why I’m not dead all over again.”

“Hmmm,” Patton agreed. Then he grinned. “I have the Netflix app on my phone,” he divulged.

“…We’re starting with season 3.”

“Of course,” Patton agreed, pulling out his phone.

They got yelled at in the morning by Logan for falling asleep at the table.

The end! Except for the epilogue.

#sanders sides #patton sanders #remy sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #emile piccani #remus sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #road trips and missing persons #road trips and everything in between #adriana writes

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thebluemoonwolf · 3 years

Text

The Inheritance Cycle as Guardians

Ive been playing a lot of Destiny 2 and have also been rereading The Inheritance Cycle so this came into being. I'm fulfilling a niche, and that niche is just me. Sorry in advance I only did a few characters.

Eragon: rezed on earth, in a abandoned town somewhere in the country. He is an old light practicing both warlock and titan aspects. He is the type that probably hung with Saladin and his Iron Wolves, for a time at least. Otherwise he kept to himself. Saphira, his ghost, uses the Knights Peace Shell. Refuses to rez him for a week when he titan smashed into the side of a cliff trying to kill a Kell. The aftershock is the only thing that saved him.

Murtagh: he is a new light, found on earth in a desert. He died about five times trying to outrun some fallen. He learned how to hide his tracks soon after that,, with his ghost help of course. He is a hunter and specializes using solar, he's a gunslinger through and through. His ghost, Thorn, uses the Crimson Shell. They get along well and Thorn enjoys bring sent on missions by zavala. Thorn and Targe gossip about their Guardians to each other.

Angela: 100% one of the first warlock risen. Uses all classes and switches to what she needs. Her ghost, Solembum, uses the Nine Lives Shell. She practices in Thanatonaut. She keeps to herself and usually hangs around the old Ishtar collectives to see what information she can pull from the golden age. Currently she only comes by the tower whenever Eva Lavante is holding an event or holiday. They get along very well. Her ghost is often seen with her, but he can sometimes venture out on his own while she is busy looting old golden age tech on Venus.

Arya: An awoken, as well as a new light. Her ghost found her around old Cabal rigs in the EDZ and it seems like the place she died in suffered from a cabal attack. She specializes using Nightstalker, "The Way of The Trapper". Her ghost, Fírnen, uses the Bursting Wisdom Shell. They get along well, but Fírnen often corrects her fighting style and hates how she goes off alone without a fireteam deep in the Cosmodrome. Fírnen really hates the hive and does his best to Protect Arya when the wizards start to sing.

Oromis: A distributary born Awoken. His body was found deep in the jungle of vex overrun Venus. He is one of the Risen, and made his way out of hostile Venus with a trashy jumpship that crash landed somewhere around old Chicago. The crash had killed him, his ghost, Glaedr, who uses the Alchemical Dawn Shell revived him quickly enough only for Oromis to be overrun by a swarm of hive thralls. He is a solar warlock that uses Dawnblade Specifically "Well of Radiance". He also practices in the Thanatonaut and tries to figure out the way of the world through his death dreams. He at one point, climbed Felwinters peak much to his ghost annoyance. He keeps to himself, but his favorite place to be is the Ishtar academy on Venus. He often thinks about things back in the golden age, how they could of been and what made everything go so horribly wrong. He had an interest in Ahamkaras, and when Guardians had to kill them he stepped away from the city and the tower completely. He meet Osiris and at one point they had often shared information. When Osiris consumed himself with the vex, Oromis respected that and left the man to his devices. Glaedr and Sagira are the best of friends and Sagira often comes around to see how they are doing.

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Some vocabulary for my Inheritance Cycle peeps who I doubt know what I'm talking about lol

Ghost: a little fancy robot who was created to find their specific guardian. (Kinda like how a dragon bonds with someone, except these people can't die permanently)

Rezed: the action your ghost does to revive your horrifically dead body. Not even being blown to atoms will stop your ghost from rezing you.

Titan: a type of Guardian class that specializes in heavy hitting. They use all fists and no brain. Ironically the best titans are military commanders.

Warlock: a type of guardian class that specializes in the mind. They believe everything is linked. They often are associated with bookworms.

Hunters: a type of Guardian class that specializes in close combat. They are silent, quick, and deadly. Hunters are loners and don't stick to groups. They are known to travel alone but are the best at knowing how to kick back and cause havoc.

Awoken: A type of human that was affected by some weird dark and light hababaloo that caused them to turn blue and live in a place nobody else but them can touch. So basically, space elves.

Distributary: the birthplace of the Awoken. Only they know where this place is, and nobody but them can visit it. (Ellesméra)

Void, solar, arc: types of Guardian subclasses that people choose from. They are abilities born from using their ghost and the light.

Kell: A big ol blue alien that has quite literally eaten way too much and is way too strong and overgrown. Headbuttting a Kell causes a guardian to break their neck, the biggest ones have four arms.

Vex: evil robots, nobody knows where they originally came from or how they were created.

Hive: evil... things. They were found on the moon originally and their only purpose is to end guardian life to feed the life essence that controls them, their worms.

Thanatonaut: When a guardian dies, sometimes they get visions. Maybe it's visions of the future or merely dreams of their past life, nobody knows. Warlocks often partake in this to try and get a better understanding of the world, so with the help of their ghost they kill themselves over and over until they get a vision. Usually this upsets the person's ghost but they are also usually compliant.

New/old light/risen: The name for a specific generation of Guardians. The Risen were the first among earth and often didn't pick any specific class to call themselves so it was a mix of abilities. Old lights are just old, but not as old as risen. They have picked a class and stuck to it. New lights are usually within their first few years of Guardian work.

Ishtar Collective: A database in the game, full of old human knowledge before the Guardians. It has all been lost or destroyed, nobody knows why but the ruins still exist in game.

Iron Wolves: A form of Risen who helped early settlers of humans stay safe and usually warded off other Risen who meant people harm.

Ahamkara: Special types of dragons who made their home on early Venus. They usually hung out with the Awoken, but these dragons make your desire a reality. The bigger you wish the bigger they grow. They are a massive "Monkey's paw. Hunted to extinction after the Awoken found out how bad it was to deal with them, Guardians usually keep their bones as trophies.

Felwinters peak: A place at the top of a very high mountain. Guardians climbed up it often. They died a lot on the way up and often frozen to death. Fun times really.

#destiny 2 #destiny #d2 #inheritance cycle #destiny the game #eragon #the inheritance cycle #oromis #Angela #Murtagh #Arya #Oromis is the longest of course #thanks for reading evem tho most dont know this game #dw I gave yall vocab at the end to help yall understand better #rablings of a destiny player #if anyone in the destiny community also read The Inheritance Cycle hit me up please

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stewblog · 3 years

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The Suicide Squad

You can practically hear director James Gunn cackling as you watch his latest blockbuster about a ragtag group of outcasts slowly becoming heroes.

The Suicide Squad is a two-hour-and-12-minute splatterfest that has absolutely no compunctions about taking the $175 million dollar budget Warner Bros. allotted and smearing it all over the screen via comically absurd violence, humor that would leave a 13-year-old breathless and a CGI creation that’s in some ways the most comic book-y thing we’ve yet seen on a movie screen.

Though technically a sequel, you don’t actually have to watch David Ayer’s Suicide Squad to enjoy or even understand The Suicide Squad. The concept is easy enough to pick up and there are only two recurring characters, one of which (Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie)) audiences are likely already fully familiar with. All you really need to know is that this is what a 13-year-old would have likely come up with if asked to write a comic book version of The Dirty Dozen, complete with an avalanche of swear words, gallons of gore and a sprinkling of nudity just because. In other words, if you think you can probably take your kid to see this because it’s by the same studio that makes Wonder Woman and Aquaman, chances are you’ll highly regret that decision before the opening credits finish.

Heck, you may regret it even if you don’t have kids.

If it seems like I’m hyper-focusing on the absurd amount of hard R-rated content, it’s partly because Gunn does the same in the film itself. There are more scenes in the movie where someone or something is shot, crushed, ripped, maimed, chopped, sliced, or otherwise viscerally splattered than there are scenes where no violence is enacted. I can’t remember the last time I watched a movie with such frequent use of casual violence for comedic effect. Gunn got his start making z-grade schlock so imagine his delight when Warner Bros. gave him carte blanche to make that same kind of movie but with a bigger budget than 100 of those movies combined.

If that sort of humor is your bag, you’ll more than get your money’s worth. Personally, I could have used a better balance of “actual” jokes to violent humor as I felt it kind of got old after a while that a lot of punchlines were delivered with an explosion of blood and gore.

Thankfully, though, the approach never fully wears out its welcome and overall we get a manic, comic book depiction of the classic “men on a mission” sub-genre, only this time it’s not just men but also rat-summoning women, anthropomorphic sharks and a guy who can shoot deadly polka dots from his hands. The cast of characters really is what makes things sing here. Watching Peacemaker (John Cena) and Bloodsport (Idris Elba) perpetually posture against each other never gets old. David Dastmalchian continues to prove what an invaluable supporting player he is every time he shows up in a movie. But it’s Sylvester Stallone voicing Nanaue, aka King Shark, that steals the show. Nanaue’s arc would be heartwarming on its own as he slowly finds a family with this band of misfit criminals, but it’s the heart and damaged soul that Stallone imbues into often monosyllabic line readings that truly makes this creature come to life.

The cherry on top is that the mission itself revolves around a creature that is, hands-down, the most comic book-y thing I’ve yet seen since this renaissance of comic book movies began. Truly that’s something when we live in a world where a movie starring a sentient tree and a machine gun-toting talking raccoon has made more than a billion dollars (which, conveniently enough, also was directed by Gunn).

The other element The Suicide Squad shares with Guardians of the Galaxy is that Gunn further shows his compassion for the dregs of society. There are literally dozens upon dozens of bad guys Gunn could have chosen to put on this team. Yet he specifically chose Ratcather 2 (Daniela Melchior), a young woman who took on her father’s mantle and used her ability to control rats to not only play a central heroic role, but to convey the (almost shockingly) tender message of how he views these outcasts. All of which to say, the face of the film may be a whole lot of juvenile material, but if you dig deep enough in this chum bucket of a movie you’ll find an actual beating heart.

#suicide squad #james gunn #john cena #idris elba #margot robbie #dc comics #warner bros.#the suicide squad

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