#mental health ramblings

[avoidantrecovery]

trauma is all about not having been able to restore safety after a nervous system activating event. usually we go into high alert (the four fs), live through the event, then we calm down and go back to equilibrium. if we are not able to restore equilibrium, trauma begins to imo settle in. i would say it’s like an infected wound, but of the mind/body. things that keep us from regulating back down are things like being unable flee or fight, being exposed to repeated events over a long period of time, being unable to share (and co-regulate) with someone, etc…

all our coping mechanisms are (maladaptive) short-term ways of restoring a feeling of safety in the body. even when we know that the coping mechanism are maladaptive in the long term, it is hard to stop because they offer relief from feeling wound up and on edge all the time.

#cptsd ramblings #mental health ramblings #avpd ramblings #ok to reblog

[fortheloveofdeaddove]

Hot diggity! Already 72 posts queued for Freaky Friday and it's only Wednesday.

It would be super cool of me to write some smut to share on Fridays - I could even use polling to pick prompts or take requests. Notice I didn't say it would be "fun". It would be a lot of work on my end, lol. There's an argument to be made for routine writing (establishing disciplined habits, potential for growth as a writer), but it's not like I have a lack of writing on my to-write list.

Day 4 no cigs. Feeling horrible, might kill someone later.

#mental health ramblings #smoking cessation #dead dove speaks

[wildweirdly]

I’ve had undefined memory problems my whole life but I never thought about it as a Proper/Official Medical Condition because instead I just defaulted to what others would say about it which boiled down to either “they aren’t Real problems, you’re just lazy/stupid/incompetent” or “it’s because you’re Crazy” so I just, didn’t really think about how to treat it or even that it was possible to treat

Like I always thought “I guess I just don’t try hard enough” or “these are symptoms of a lack of grasp on reality”

Meanwhile if you look the list of my Officially Diagnosed Problems you’d notice there are actually several conditions present that have memory problems as common/known symptoms/subsymptoms.

It’s frustrating, right before I had my whole Mental Breakdown situation I felt like I was on the cusp of realizing these things but then everything fell apart and I just, never revisited it all (out of fear that it would be a catalyst for a secondary break)

Also a good chunk of my social anxiety directly comes from how I’ve been mistreated by others and how I accepted a LOT of shit as just “par for the course”

Remembering it all comes in waves, forgetting pieces is largely outside my control and that’s catastrophically frustrating

#weirdly rambles #mental health ramblings #memory issues saga I guess

[cryptidballs]

lil teehee vent but man living life becoming increasingly unconvinced anything but myself is real is.. weird, ive decided to use this general disconnect from reality to treat others as well as i can, but its still a weird feeling i look in a mirror and just see something im piloting, i see other people and my interactions with them feel like a dream and theyre like sand i put my hand through gently life in general feels like a dream to me, im.. not exactly sure what it is going on with me, honestly, i dont really have a unified self anymore i say its becoming this increasingly, but looking back, i cant help but feel that ive always felt that and im only now taking the time to reflect on it, im not really sure whats wrong with me?

#mental health ramblings #dissociation?

[existhere]

my previous doc, WHO I REALLY ENJOYED, left his current practice, and I had to scramble to find a new clinic which i visited yesterday he seems to be attentive so far, but he decided to take me off my antipsychotic because of my weight gain and just increase the mood stabilizer obviously, he knows more than me but now im sitting here genuinely afraid that the hat man is going to come for me with reckless abandon

#mental health ramblings #personal

[squicksquak]

Jason: Shit, the power went out.

Damian: Don’t worry Todd, I got this.

Damian: *stomps foot*

Jason: What the-?

Damian: *Sketchers light up*

#i need him to be silly #for my mental health #i need him to be a kid leave me alone #batfam #batman #jason todd #damian wayne #dc #dc incorrect quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #dc memes #bat rambles

[major-gilneass]

Feeling unattached today.

I don’t belong to this world.

I will float above it.

I don’t belong here.

I am an outsider.

#me #mental health ramblings #is this the anxiety the depression or the adhd #or some combination of all of them #who knows #yes I took my meds

[your-queer-dad]

Hey you. Yes you. You have been through enough, you hear me? You. Have. Been. Through. Enough.

The world has treated you shittily, you go through enough, don't do that do yourself too. Be decent to yourself, kiddo. We've only got one of you and it's the best one we have :]

I love you, I'm proud of you, go make yourself a beverage of your choice and be a little more decent to yourself today <3

- dad x

#lgbt #finch rambles #lgbtq #lgbtqia #trans #transgender #queer positivity #trans joy #trans kids #teen mental health #youth mental health #actually mentally ill #mental health

[bluerosefox]

Drake Siblings

Have I read this prompt somewhere or was this a fever dream from my bored mind.

What if, now hear me out.

What if we bring up Dana Winters-Drake (whose confirmed to at least be alive in the DC verse but no one knows where she actually is)

What if instead of when she had a mental breakdown and getting committed to an Bludhaven clinc she wandered away before anyone noticed and by the time Tim or anyone did notice a lot of stuff started happening at once in both Gotham and Bludhaven (Steph dying, The Bludhaven crisis, etc etc)

Tim still tries to find her though but even with best resources it was like she just disappeared into the wilderness and the stress of trying to handle more and more problems get worse.

So when out of the blue, a couple of years later, he gets a call from an unknown number. On his private, only for friends and family, phone and when he answers he meet with a young girls voice on the other end.

A very young, maybe six or seven, girl who informs him about his apparently half-brother Danny Drake-Fenton. And how she loves Danny so, so, so much but knows her home is dangerous for him to be in.

Tim is stunned and before he could question her, she says Danny is Dana and Jack's baby and that her parents had adopted him years ago and put Dana's stuff that the hospital had away for him to look at when he was older but she just had to fight off their lunch from eating her brother and she knows he needs a better place to live and so she snooped around and found Dana's diary and that she had to unscramble the nonsense Dana wrote and found Tim's number with the words 'tell him about his brother Danny' hidden in it. And-

But before she could keep rambling she hears Danny screaming "JAZZY THE MILK WENT BAD AGAIN AND HISSED AT ME!"

Tim is left with silence after hearing Jazz yell to Danny to lock the fridge and step out of the kitchen as she gets the bat.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #crossover #dp x dc #blue rambles #danny phantom dc #writing ideas #random idea #dpxdc #jazz fenton #tim drake #danny and tim are half brothers #dana Winters-Drake was pregnant when she disappeared #she was out of her mind until she found out and tried her best to regain control but it was hard #she had in and out episodes #she wanted to contact Tim but knew he was still in Gotham and she just coulnt due to episodes of her mental health failing #she was found months later in labor and rushed to a hospital and Danny somehow came out healthy #small but healthy #Dana however lasted a few more hours before passing away from the birth #weeks laters Danny is adopted or fostered out #Dana wrote in diary but scramble and scribbled during her episodes #Jazz finds it and being the smarty she is starts figuring it out #it also set her on her path to understand the human mind #Tim gets to be a big brother #not just for Danny though #hes gonna take Jazz in too after he finds out about how bad the home life is #will Danny still become Phantom though? #maybe #maybe Tim gets there and Jack and Maddie finished the portal way earlier than canon and Danny being curious goes to see #and comes down the stairs to see his baby brother die and then come back

[thoughtsthatstayedwithme]

#spilled ink #thoughts #inner thoughts #life quotes #mental health #pillow thoughts #poetry #quotes #quoteoftheday #spilled thoughts #late night thoughts #thought #late night rambles

[dizzybizz]

"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"

#that “you understand?” kills me everytime... #i love how high condis voice got during this bit its so fkn funny DHASHGFSFGHASFhg #hi yes have the inevitable ep21 crit kiss piece except i watched ep53 today and am so 😀 im so 😀 damn i m so 😀 #i love eps where they just go through so many different gimmick rooms its so fun its so fun when its not so painful 😀 #happy valentines too ig #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #jrwi chip #jay ferin #jrwi fish and chips #my art #i had a bit of a meltdown over gill through uhm... 1-3am today and i just hm #sorry to everyone in the mayors QAC uhm im not really sorry but like sorry if you could hear every msg ping uhm yeah #it was like hours of me sobbing to myself in the interests channel and it was really good for my mental health ngl like its really therapeu #-tic to just scream abt a blorbo all night #and i ended up dreaming abt infodumping to one of my brothers friends of all ppl n i got so intense abt how much i love marshall john n my #brother came into the room and dragged his friend out 😭😭😭 i just wanted to ramble abt the himbo pls..... #my walls of tags are so consistent... only consistent thing abt this fkn blog smh.

[fortheloveofdeaddove]

Definitely been manic these last few days. I gotta try and find ways to reel it in or I'll be a mess by Monday/Tuesday. I have literally tilled a plot of earth and driven all over the city and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and now I'm hosting a sleepover for my kid and planning blueberry muffins in the morning for my sobriety group which I'm trying to squeeze in before I have to take my kid to gymnastics.

#if gimli son of gloin can do it #mental health ramblings #bi polar 2 #manic episodes

[bixels]

Now that Ghibli's new movie is coming out soon, I've been thinking about anime films and wanna talk about my favorite animated movie ever, Tokyo Godfathers.

TG is a 2003 tragicomedy by Satoshi Kon, following three unhoused people––an alcoholic, a runaway girl, an a trans woman––who find a baby in a dumpster and set off across Tokyo to reunite her with her parents.

If you like the sound of that, go watch it because the rest of this post is spoilers and I have FEELINGS about this movie.

URGHH, the fact that only two moments of true kindness, generosity, and care given to the three protagonists without any expectation of reciprocity are given by a Latin-American immigrant couple and a drag show club full of trans women. The fact that, despite her loud and dramatic personality, Hana is the glue that holds the team together and the heart of the whole movie. The fact that this movie pulls no punches at showing the violence and inhumanity committed by "civilized Japanese society" against the unhoused. The fact that Miyuki craves to be loved by her parents and ends up seeing Hana as her true mother. The fact that Miyuki starts off accidentally using transphobic language against Hana, but slowly begins calling her "Miss Hana" out of respect. The fact that, according to Kon, Hana's role in the story is as a mythological trickster god and "disturb the morality and order of society, but also play a role in revitalizing culture." The fact that Hana so desperately wants to be part of a true family, yet is willing to sacrifice her found family so they can be with their own, and is rewarded for her good deeds in the end by becoming a godmother. The fact that, throughout the movie, wind and light have been used to signify the presence of god's hand/influence (this movie's about nondenominational faith––faith in yourself, faith in others, faith in a higher power. Lots of religious are referenced, such as Buddhism/Hinduism, Christianity, and Shintoism), and in the climax of the film, as Hana jumps off a building to save a baby that isn't hers, a gust of wind and a shower of light save her from death. The fact that god saves a trans woman's life because she proved herself a mother, and that shit makes me CRY.

#ramblings #long post #not art #personal #it's the ultimate found family movie #not without its problems. i really dont like its depiction of mental health #for a movie that does an otherwise great job spotlighting the unhoused crisis in japan and its society's oppressive distain towards women #and queer people. it really drops the ball on depicting one of the biggest contributors to the crisis #but otherwise this movie is so fucking full of love and kindness and second chances and how fucking good queer folks and poc are #it blows my mind that this film came out in 2003 and the main protagonist is a trans woman who's just the fucking best #the recent gkids dub is REALLY good by the way! they got shakina nayfack; a trans va; to voice Hana! #the dub made great strides to undo a lot of the original misgendering and mistranslations #also its a christmas movie #also the ost was done by the band that did earthbound's ost

[delphisarm]

Rambling about schizophrenia/psychosis in general

#art #my art #traditional art #comic #ramble #vent #mental illness #mental health #schizophrenia #psychosis #ableism #sanism

[secondbeatsongs]

me: hey I need a doctor to prescribe and then manage my adhd meds

multiple healthcare websites: oh! you are a child!

me: what

healthcare websites: you're looking for pediatrics! or adolescent behavioral health! 😊 do you need a note for school? 😉 are you perhaps an 8-12yo who can't focus on his homework? 🤔 are you disrupting the classroom environment? do you either hate reading or super love it?

me: ...

healthcare websites: or maybe you're a mom! is your kid just the worst? are you just so exhausted and overwhelmed from how hard it is to be a parent to a child who has Needs™? you must be a mom!

me: pleaes...I'm begging you...

#personal #sbs rambles #adhd #mental health #the healthcare system is in shambles #I just need meds so I don't lose my mind pls

[cervolina]

"Oh god, you’re gonna get it, you’ll be sorry that you messed with me"

I done fucked up my hair. Yeah, that’s right. A total bleaching failure, like something-that-would-go-viral-on-TikTok level. But you know what? When I looked into the mirror and saw what I’d done to my hair, I just fucking laughed. I didn’t panic, I didn’t lose my shit. I rinsed it out, then called the hairdresser to ask if I could get an appointment to get this fixed and she was really kind and told me I could come in tomorrow so that she could get a look at it.

But honestly, I might just keep it that way. As a reminder, that life is fucking beautiful, you know.

That I can fuck up and make something imperfect and still not hate myself and not think of myself as a loser who can’t get anything right. Cause suprisingly, I didn’t think of me like that when I saw the disaster. I just laughed, because it was ridiculous and messed up and because in the light of all the other things I get sad and angry about, this was such a harmless disaster, such a funny little fuck-up. Something so human, so common, something that I could laugh about and feel like a little silly person with normal problems and healthy ways to deal with them.

Cause that moment, when I saw the mess and didn’t freak out, that’s when I first noticed that I was healing. That I was getting better after all. A thing like this would have made me lose my mind and cry for hours just a few weeks ago. Hell, even longer, probably the entire past year I wouldn’t have been able to deal with a permanent fuck-up like that. But now I think it’s hilarious and it makes me proud to think that all the work I’ve put into improving my mental health in the past months is finally starting to pay off. I can finally accept myself not being perfect, not always making the right decisions, not getting it right the first time, hell, maybe not even the second time, but still accepting myself and loving myself and treating me nice and telling myself that it will be alright. And it will be, cause it’s just hair, you know? Everyone fucks up their hair once in a while. It’s normal, I feel normal, normal and totally imperfect.

Like what are you gonna do now, anxiety? I’m putting a saw to your throne. You might still be with me, but I can stand me now, and so you won’t stand a chance. Only I can mess with me now.

(The title is from the song "Girls against god" by Florence + the machine btw, which is a great song, go listen to it!)

#anxiety #mental health awareness #coping with anxiety #mental health ramblings #anyone who reads this and is dealing with anxiety too I hope you're doing ok