#my part time job is JUST enough for rent + food so other expenses have to come from elsewhere.

[bugchuckles]

COMMISSIONS BACK OPEN FOR THE WINTER!

5 slots currently available, message on here or email [email protected] if interested!

#commissions #open commissions #ducktales #the owl house #gravity falls #over the garden wall #etsy #my art #u know the drill!! gotta pay bills #my part time job is JUST enough for rent + food so other expenses have to come from elsewhere. #if you messaged me interested in commissions during my off season and didnt hear back go ahead and do it again! my brain is made of shrimp. #good day to ye all #ALSO if you're interested in a charm on etsy my store is on hiatus rn so message me directly and i'll knock $2 off the listed price!

[joelmillers-whore]

Hard Light | Chapter 1

summary: when a new english professor begins teaching your class for the duration of your semester, you can’t help but develop an innocent crush on him. he’s as off-limits as he can be, but that doesn’t deter you in the slightest. after a drunk night, you accidentally email him something that wasn’t intended to ever be seen by anyone. but that doesn’t matter. it triggers a misunderstanding that manifests into an affair with your professor who is twenty years your senior. nothing good could come of this, right? 

pairings: professor!joel x college student!reader

word count: 2.2K

series or one-shot

warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, no mention of Y/N, alternate universe, professor/student relationship, eventual smut, self-esteem issues, workaholic, joel x female!reader, infatuation bordering on obsession (stay delulu friends), some sexual thoughts, masturbation (f), joel being a huge tease lol, (will add more tags as i write)

AN: i am so excited by the response that my joel one-shot got a few days ago and i’ve been itching to get something else out to you all. big, giant forehead kisses for those who want one, i love you all. so, anyway, a mini-series about professor joel is coming at you fast. i’ve written the first few chapters, so expect those in the near future. i’m thinking once a week? this fic is going to be something else and i’m so excited to share it with ya’ll. enjoy, and let me know what you think. find my ao3 here for more content and other fandoms.

You were running late for your shift at the coffee shop on campus, rummaging around your dresser, trying to find the low-cut black top you always wore when you had a shift. You weren’t usually one to feed into the peer pressure of those around you, but push came to shove when you found it nearly impossible to keep yourself afloat as a twenty-something student without the added extra tips from your part-time job.

So what if you had to show a little bit of cleavage? Right? There was no harm. Student loans were a bitch and on top of rent and food costs, you had to get a job at the coffee shop and balance a full course load just to make ends meet. 

A thought popped into your head and you rushed to your laptop, throwing it open as you checked the time; 5:45 AM. If you busted out your lightning-fast typing skills, you would have enough time to catch the next bus and make it to campus with five minutes to spare. If only your crappy second-hand computer would work.

The thing honestly sounded like a chopper engine, getting ready for lift-off. You were surprised you’d gotten this far with it. Not that you weren’t appreciative, your older brother had passed it down and it had relieved a huge weight—  and expense off of your shoulders. 

You tabbed into your school portal, typing in your credentials and selecting your English course. You sighed heavily, as you skimmed over the assignment for this week, something to do with a sonnet that you couldn’t care less about. You loved school but ever since becoming an English major, the spark that you once had for literature sort of just evaporated.

You couldn’t tell if it was because of how busy you were with everything else that you just couldn’t find the time to enjoy it, or the thought that really scared you, you had fallen out of love with it. 

It had been two years of go, go, go and you were, for lack of a better word, burnt out. You’d tried dropping courses last semester, thinking that you just needed a little bit of ease when it came to your course load, but when that didn’t solve the problem and only made things worse for you, you spent the last two semesters trying to catch up and get yourself to a place where you could finally breathe.

But it wasn’t easy. You were only now caught up to where you had been, the illusion that you were someone who could afford to take time off and slow down was a distant memory. 

In bold letters, the words Paid Internship jumped off of the screen. You smiled as you leaned in closer to the screen, making sure you read through everything correctly. This was the break above the surface that you needed, the reprieve that you had been chasing. A paid internship was exactly how you’d be able to make more money and maybe have a little breathing room before you worked yourself into an early grave.

You clicked the mail icon at the top and clicked into a new email, deciding that the worst-case scenario was that you wouldn’t get the internship. All you were doing was inquiring about the application process. Best-case scenario; you’d get it and make some extra pocket money. 

You saw the time, cursing under your breath as you slammed the laptop closed, grabbed your phone out of the charger and ran out of the door. You couldn’t be late, not again. You texted your co-worker Jeremy to open the shop without you and explained to him that you were running a few minutes late, as you barely made it to the bus. You climbed on board, scanned your student pass and found a seat near the back. Your chest was burning from the rush of trying to make it on time, but you could breathe easy now.

You checked your messages mindlessly, scrolling through a bunch of unread ones that you didn’t have the heart to answer. 

Before you knew it, the familiar monuments and buildings of UT Austin came into view, and the subtle change of scenery from downtown to a more densely packed area made your heart skip a beat. It was the same each time you were back on campus. Which, these days, was often. Sliding out of the seat, you made your way to the front, thanking the driver as the bus came to a complete stop. 

The coffee shop was only a short walk from the bus stop but even still you quickened your pace. You didn't want to leave Jeremy alone for long, you already felt bad enough about letting him open by himself. You stifled a yawn as you pushed open the door to the small cafe, leaning your body into the door, slightly cringing at the shrill sound of the bell. 

"There you are", a male voice called, making your head snap up. You wiggled your nose, the familiar timbre of your ex-boyfriend's voice ringing in your ears. "It's about time you got your ass down here". 

You snickered, shrugging your heavy bag off of your shoulder, and dropping it behind the counter, turning around and greeting him with an unamused smirk.

Jeremy and you had gone out for a few months last year, it was your first and, as of right now, the only short-term relationship that you'd had in college. 

Dating your co-worker, even in a relatively small place like the coffee shop on campus, almost always spelled trouble, but Jeremy was not the type to hold something like a failed relationship over your head. He understood that school was a priority for you and making a living for yourself came first, even above something like a relationship. It might not be the healthiest way to live, but it was how it always was. 

Jeremy and you had developed a fast friendship, one that went beyond the romantic relationship that you'd had last year. You parted amicably and now, you had someone you could confide in, someone you could trust. 

"Why don't you say that to my face?", you teased, raising a brow at him over the milk frother you were setting up. 

Jeremy threw his rag down and stalked over to you. "You're snippy this morning", he chided. 

You banged into his shoulder playfully, "Doesn't help that I have to see your ugly mug first thing in the morning". 

You snorted out a laugh and Jeremy looked at you, feigning defensiveness, "Ouch", he paused, returning back to his post near the coffee machine, "Remind me how we ever went out?". 

You scrunched your nose and threw your rag at Jeremy, hitting him square in the face with it, "That was rude". 

He shrugged his shoulder, "You started it".  

You both devolved into a fit of giggles and fell into a comfortable silence, setting up and getting the coffee shop ready for the day. You had a half-day shift to look forward to and then you had class until the late afternoon. The days were long and the nights were longer.

You usually found yourself nose-deep in your textbooks, more often than not, or some classic novel that was required for class, not moving from the couch until your eyes were red and you were seeing double. 

Only then did you retire to sleep, crashing hard until you had to wake up and do it all again the next day. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The coffee shop had been bustling with people since six in the morning, and at one in the afternoon, it hadn't let up, only now you had to go to class. Waving Jeremy goodbye, you sidestepped Tara, the fourth-year who was covering the rest of the afternoon and closing shift. 

You'd crossed the far side of campus, passing by the science building and one of the massive libraries that had acted like a second home to you back when you’d been studying for exams when you were a freshman. You could thank your obnoxious roommates for that one. 

Entering the lecture hall, bodies pressed into you as you weaved through the growing crowd, trying to find a spot in the middle where you could see and hear your English professor. But also blend in with the masses. As if the universe had other plans in mind, and everyone suddenly showed up to the Tuesday lecture all at the same time, you found yourself picking a seat near the front, an exasperated groan leaving you. 

You hated sitting at the front, not because you didn't want to get called on to answer something or because you didn't know the answers, but because you did. You wanted to get through your four years as quickly and unscathed as possible and if people knew, mainly professors, that you knew more about the subject matter than you needed to, you'd surely get called on more often, making you stick out in ways you didn't want. 

It was a terrible curse, going through life with the self-esteem that you did. But it was how you were raised. Blend in. Don't be too loud. Be quiet and only observe. Nerves rapped at your insides when you thought about getting called on when class started. Your heart rate ticked up and you found that your hands were beginning to get clammy, your throat constricting with each breath.

You rubbed your hands up and down your thighs, grounding yourself with the sensation of the material. 

With a jump, you sat up straighter in your seat, being jostled from your thoughts by a loud slam. You snapped your head toward the entrance, eying the person who had startled everyone. It was a man carrying a briefcase.

Your lips tilted up at the edges, amusement tickling you when you thought of anyone using a briefcase nowadays. But here this man was, head down as he made his way to the front of the room, toward the desk. 

You couldn't help keeping your eyes trained on him. On how his slacks tightened around his butt, moulding to the shape and curve of it. You bit your bottom lip out of reflex, your eyes dragging down the length of the mystery man who had crashed your lecture. Maybe he was a TA? Your brows furrowed when you thought about how your professor was nowhere in sight. 

The man with the briefcase placed his case on the desk, turning to face the audience of students who blinked back at him, who now settled down enough to hear him speak. Air caught in your throat when his eyes flicked momentarily to you, and lingered on you for half a second longer than you'd expected. He had massive, warm brown eyes, and soft wrinkles that danced at the edges of his eyes when he smiled, making him seem more boyish than he appeared.

He looked older than a TA would but then again, who were you to judge someone's position in life? You thought that his age did nothing to undermine just how attractive he was, if anything it added to it.  

The man, who may or may not have been moonlighting as your English TA cleared his throat, nodding his head, "My name is Joel, well, Professor Miller to most, but 've always been a little bit more informal than my peers". 

He began to circle the wooden desk nervously, his large hand finding the edge of it and stroking it far more sensually than necessary. You flexed your fingers, gripping the arm of your seat to stabilize yourself. "So, you can call me Joel from here on out... since we'll be seeing more of each other from now on". 

Murmurs began to break out around the lecture hall, and confused and hushed whispers followed. 

Professor Miller— Joel, mumbled something incoherent, and you were unable to hear it from where you sat. He cleared his throat again, "Professor McCarthy has taken a leave of absence, so I'll be filling in for him for the remainder of the semester". 

You crossed your legs, feeling heat rise and a furious blush break out across your face, and shuffled in your seat, a loud creak emitted from it and you stilled, praying that the loud sound had only been heard by you and no one else. But when you lifted your gaze, Joel's eyes were already locked on you, blown and brimming with cautious inquiry. A touch of a smirk graced his lips. 

"And I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you, personally". His eyes were still on you, not ready to release you from their hold. 

His tongue darted out to wet his lips and you couldn't help but stare. You had every reason to look away from him, he was your professor and given the clear age difference, he was someone who was off limits. But when he didn't look away from you either, trapping you with his gaze, your face heated up, suddenly aware that he was purposely staring at you. 

You swallowed thickly, heart hammering as Joel's eyes finally drifted away from you and back to the faces of your classmates. He continued on with addressing the class, and you noticed that he avoided your eyes for the rest of the lecture. 

Only one thought rang through your mind as you tried and failed to focus back on the lecture. This was going to be one long semester. 

#teacher x student #teacher attachment #pedro pascal #joel miller #the last of us #joel tlou #joel the last of us #pedropascaledit #college au #joel miller imagine #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #tlou hbo #tlou2 #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfic #writeblr #fanfiction writer #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedropascal #pedro is daddy #i love pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfic #my fic #joel miller x you

[ladyyatexel]

Hey, what's up, hello, I'm Xel, I truly have Donald Duck levels of bad luck and yet I do not have the rage button that makes things work out if I throw a tantrum, which feels like yet another failure of media, what is the deal with this.

The deal is:

Temp job had to let me go instead of make me permanent because the economy scared the 5 people over 65 in that department out of feeling safe enough to retire

None of my applications are getting interviews and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Donald Duck tantrum did not assist me in this realm.

Holy shit seasonal depression I can't get out of bed like.... A Lot.

I have a convention to go to in February where I am selling art in the art show and where I will see many of my friends the only time per year.

I'm scared of everything haha wow 😬

I'm am an artist who just feels too upset and worried to art

I'm having trouble getting everything together and maybe will feel better with some level of stability? I need to do a lot of paperwork. It is proving hard. I have the Tumblr popular suspicions about my level of neurodivergance. (Fun story: I told members of my my family that I have thought in the last two years especially that I might have ADHD or Autism or something, and my cousin said, "Oh, honey *just the last two years?*" Obliterated.)

My abusive dad recently joined a cult and my grandmother thinks he'll try to contact me after 15 years and I'm fucking scared of him and that is Affecting Me in A Way boy howdy.

I do not have the money to pay rent even a little bit! I'm trying to get January and February taken care of maybe? So I can try to exist for this period of time and maybe not have a breakdown or get evicted or something?

Some real not awesome medical junk happening also because why not.

SO, I'm doing Tumblr's favorite thing and being a starving queer artist with brain worms who needs help. If you are interested in helping me out and making a donation to the "Why don't my Donald Duck tantrums solve my problems" fund, I would be Really Grateful.

I am on Ko-Fi, which is really just a funnel to PayPal, over here.

$2500 would keep me on solid ground. I'll try to keep a tally here in a read more along with a expenses tally if that would help you feel better about me! I know I've had to ask frequently in the last few months, so I understand thinking I'm full of it.

I have a commission to finish currently and a few buttons and things that need to be mailed. You could also ask for button and commission, but I am doing prep work for my part of the art show in mid February, so I'm not available until after then for that!

My grandfather used to do a Donald Duck impression that was really good and it convinced me that either he WAS Donald Duck or that old people all knew how to do this because they all talked like this in the era Donald Duck was from.

Here is Ko-Fi again. If there's something you'd like to see me post or unearth in atonement, let me know. If you'd like other places to aim your dead green American presidents, I can give you that too.

Thanks for reading and/or reblogging! Tell me how Donald Duck's freakouts impacted you. Take care of yourselves!

Rent is $710/month, so 1420 is January and February.

65 for the internet, 130

65 for car insurance, 130

65 for electric unless I can get the assistance plan up again, same 130

250 to survive at the con maybe?

Also just like food until i can get the foodstamps stuff sorted??

Gas???

Anyway, that's an idea of what and why, if that is helpful.

Jan 8:

We are at $460!

Thanks!

#mutual aid #help #donations #charity #i feel real ashamed to have to do this! :D

[r4ikkonen]

please can you do a fernando alonso imagine where she’s 22 years old and in college and he’s her sugardaddy, because he doesn’t have time for an actual relationship ? and he had a rule of no falling in love but then he realizes he’s in love with her when he’s bringing her shopping and he confesses it to her later that day after they have sex and she loves him back too

No strings attached | Fernando Alonso x Reader

———————————————————————

Ever since you got into your dream college Yale life has been a little bit challenging.You had to work a part time job at starbucks to be able to pay the rent and your scholarship.Yale is overall very expensive and your grades are not that bad either.All your problems disappeared over the summer break.Your friend Zara and you went to the Silverstone Grand Prix.Zara was sweet enough to get both of you the paddock passes and you enjoyed your time there very much.Zara was a big fan of motorsport and you would always come with her to watch Formula 1 or NASCAR.Even though you would struggle with understanding the terms you always found a way to enjoy every race.Zara introduced you to a lot of drivers and there was one that caught your eye.His name was Fernando and he drove for Aston Martin.

Zara often teased you about him and that drove you crazy.After the Silverstone race you and Nando got into contact and you would often talk to each other.He came up with an idea to meet at the restaurant.You gladly accepted and spent 3 hours getting ready just to see him.Your hair was shiny and your satin black dress was hugging your body.When you arrived you saw a man drinking wine graciously while waiting for you.You took a seat and his eyes went straight to look at yours.

“Oh hi y/n didn’t see you there” Fernando said giving me a slight smirk.The way he talked was very flirtatious and I tried not to fall in any off his gestures.He asked me about my college and about my life.I felt like he really cared about it and he would listen to me like I was a song.

After we finished off our desserts it was time to go home.He gave me a ride home in his new Aston Martin car that cost more than my life probably.When we arrived he stopped the car and looked at me right into my eyes.

“Remember Cari��o, no strings attached” He told me while grabbing my thigh placing a warm kiss on my cheek.His dark brown eyes met mine and I felt goosebumps rising up on my arms.I waved back to him and entered my apartment.We were now using each other for each others needs, like money and attention..

Few weeks went by and I was living my life to the fullest.I truly had everything, from Dior to Chanel to all of those designers.I was now a sugar baby and Fernando made sure he spoiled me go bits.We were talking nonstop and he called me any second he gets.I really felt like he was my boyfriend.He always listened to me and he always helped me.We would often see each other when we could.He was busy with racing and scoring points for me while I studied my ass off to become a Doctor.Whenever I’d miss him I would always remember his words.”No strings attached”.They are still haunting me and I tried shaking off the feeling that I have a slight crush on him.

I went shopping to get some new clothes because I’ll be flying to Oxford to see him.I was very excited and I picked some gorgeous outfits that he of course paid for.

He greeted me with a big smile on his face pulling me into a big hug.As I wrapped my arms around his neck I could feel his after shave.I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and he blushed like crazy.We had time of our lives he showed me Oxford and we tried some great food there too.Living with him for these 4 days were amazing.

It was the last day and I already felt cranky.I didn’t want to leave him, I didn’t want to go back to my sad apartment.I wanted to stay with him forever.When I got out of the bed I saw him preparing pancakes.The smell was so strong and I couldn’t help but giggle while looking at his bare back.His muscles were so defined.His Samurai tattoo was exposed.I bit my lips and sat on the counter trying to catch his attention.

“Good morning Mi Amor” He said placing a warm kiss on my cheek while holding the pan carefully.

“Good morning love” I replied starring at him and admiring every move of his.

He slid a plate across the counter.

“Eat.” He demanded waiting for me to taste one of his pancakes.

“Mmm this is delicious, maybe I should kidnap you and make you make me pancakes mhm?” I teased trying not to sound too clingy.

“I wouldn’t mind that at all” He winked flirtatiously at my joke.

We spent the whole day to ourselves chilling on his big sofa.I was sitting on top of him resting and scrolling through tiktok.He grabbed my phone and threw it onto the coffee table. “Hey!” I yelled hopping that he didn’t break my phone.He didn’t say anything he lifted me up and undressed me exposing my bare breasts.I whined to his actions and he kept placing wet kisses on my neck while whispering something in Spanish.I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pulled out his member.I moaned at his actions as he pressed his warm fingers inside of me. “Fuck Nando please..” I groaned begging him to fuck me some more. “Be patient cariño” He whispered in my ear making me want him even more.We spent that whole morning making love..

After he made sure I was comfortable.We were still laying on his sofa naked.. I used his torso as a Pillow and his fingers were playing with my hair.We were just laying there in silence

“Cariño” He said with a frightened look on his face.Holding me by my waist.

“Yes?l” I turned off my phone locking an eye contact with him.

“Cariño there’s something you need to know” His words weren’t so clear and I was scared for the worst.I’ve thought to myself, what if he breaks up with me?What if he finds me too needy?I couldn’t shake away my fear.

“Uh look, I’ve been thinking about this for some time know and honestly, I think im in love with you, I know I know no strings attached but.. I feel very happy with you and I want to take you with me everywhere I go.”

My eyes went wide to his beautiful confession and I couldn’t help but to give him a big kiss.I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled away from the kiss “I love you”.

I’ve never seen such a smile on his face before he stared at me deeply and I could sense how happy he felt.He grabbed me closer and said

“Cmon let’s go get ready there’s one more place I need to take you too”

#formula 1 #f1 imagine #f1 smut #formula one #f1 #ferrari #red bull f1 #aston martin #aston martin f1 #aston martin formula one #formel 1 #fernando alonso #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso x you #f1 fanfic

[buckys-black-dress]

i follow you (pretend you want me to)

a/n: hey guys. i know its been a reeaaaally long time but here we are with a nice lil best friends brother bucky fic! this is what happens when your best friend has a cute older brother but you know it'll never happen.

wc: 3k words

[ best friend's brother!bucky barnes x fem!reader ]

-

You never, ever, in all in your years, imagine you would find yourself in the position you're currently in.

As someone who only recently became local to the New York City area, your best friend Rebecca has been letting you stay at her place as a favor as you search for an apartment.

It's been a bit difficult so far, as the rent is insanely expensive and you've been extremely busy with your job as a new nurse.

The other part?

Oh, right.

The fact that Rebecca lives with her shy, albeit gorgeous, older brother, James.

You've been best friends with Rebecca for 3 years now, but you both clicked so easily from the beginning, like sisters. You would spend any free weekends traveling to New York to see her, which meant staying with James when he was there.

At first, you never realized that James himself was just a quiet guy. At times, his silence made you uneasy; like he was silently judging you.

But over time, you've come to realize he just kept to himself. He was also a big homebody, but he still has a solid friend group that he goes out with from time to time.

So back to the current situation.

Rebecca had an early class she had on Fridays, and she left while telling you to make yourself at home and raid the fridge for breakfast.

So, naturally, you asked James if he'd like some, as well.

And he agreed. So you got started on a breakfast spread that Rebecca could have some of when she got back as well.

"You made so much food, Y/N. Who's gonna eat all of this?" James comes out of his room, sweatpants hanging low on his hips and a white t-shirt that may be a size too small for him.

Good god. Why am I staying here? I really need to find my own place. Fast.

"Oh, well... I felt bad. So I thought I'd make enough for Becca when she got back. It's also a thank you for letting me stay here, I guess." You justify with a timid smile.

"You know you're always welcome here, Y/N." He smiles and you feel your heart stutter.

"Thanks, James. I really appreciate it. Anyways, the food's all ready if you wanna sit and eat?"

He nods and takes his place at one of the wooden stools on the other side of the counter and you slide a plate in front of him.

"So, Y/N, I never asked you about what happened when you got home?" James poses after a few minutes of silence.

He was referring to when while you were gone for a weekend coming to see Becca, but your mom had recently found out you had gotten a tattoo on a whim while you were out with friends one weekend.

Of course, you hid it from your parents, and while you were careful to not let it show, you knew the spot wasn't too hidden and it was only a matter of time until they saw.

Your mother saw it on a faithful afternoon, and from there it spiraled.

Your dad hated tattoos, but your parents had let you get one when you first turned 18 as a one-and-done deal.

Of course, one wasn't enough.

The tattoo was on your inner upper arm, placed delicately right in the crook of your underarm. You often had to look for it to see it. It was a small envelope with a heart sealing it. It was simple and cute, on a whim you decided to get it and you loved it.

Although you didn't think every tattoo had to have some deep meaning, this one was just for you.

But alas, while you were away for a weekend, your mother had decided to tell your father about it.

It was a good thing... and a bad thing.

On one hand, you knew he was going to be extremely upset with you.

But on the other, he had a few days to process what you did while you were still gone, and you hoped this would help him calm down a little bit before you got back.

While you were with Becca, James was the one who found you in a panic about the news when your mother told you that she told your father.

"Hey, you okay?" His voice comes from across the room.

Your form on the couch is quite the sight. Eyes, bulging and wide. Shoulders squared and tense. Not a hint of a smile on your face.

"Uh- I... I am not. But that's alright. I can deal with it later." You try to laugh it off.

"No, what's wrong? Maybe I can help." He offers, and you smile at that. You wonder how a while ago, you thought he hated you. He was just a quiet person.

"I just... I'm in trouble with my parents. I got a tattoo a while back and my mom saw it, and now she told my dad while I'm here. So I think I might get my ass kicked once I get back home." You explain with a nervous laugh.

"Oh... that really sucks. What's the tattoo?" He asks curiously, and you lift your t-shirt sleeve to point it out. "That's not so bad... trust me, I've seen much worse."

"Yeah, my parents just don't love tattoos and I was only supposed to have one that they allowed, but this one was just for me, you know?" You tell him.

"I get it... I mean, you're probably gonna still get more down the line, so maybe this is a good thing. Get them acclimated to them." James laughs, and it makes you crack a smile.

"Oh," you breathed out a laugh, "it was honestly fine. He got mad for a few minutes and kind of got over it. He would get pissed when I would wear shirts where you could see it but he's pretty much past it now."

"That's good. So does that mean it's okay if you get more, or they're still gonna give you a hard time?" He wonders.

"Funny, I've actually already gotten another since then. But it's also pretty small." It was kind of ironic how big of a deal your parents made, but they just decided you were never going to listen. So now, it was just best to do whatever you wanted.

Which was to get a bunch of tattoos.

"Really? Can I see?"

The question catches you off guard for a moment, not expecting him to be so eager to ask you to see the new ink.

"Oh! Sure, it's on my back, so let me just..." Your voice trails off, quickly turning away from him to lift the back of your t-shirt that you've slept in. "I think this one is my favorite so far." Your voice is weak, feeling exposed with your entire bare back out.

The tattoo was on your back, just below your left shoulder blade. It was a unique placement to you, the wording you've chosen going vertically rather than horizontally.

The script reads 'golden' in the most delicate cursive, written by your grandmother. It was your first tattoo that held sentimental value, and you loved it more than anything you've ever seen.

The silence hung in the air, and you could feel his eyes lingering on the one patch of ink on your back. You wish you could look at him and see what he if he had anything particular that could give away how he was feeling.

You wanted to speak, but there seemed to be too much tension that built in your throat.

When you almost got the courage to say something, you feel a light fingertip skate right over the spot. You're pretty sure all breathing stops.

Oh, now I'm not saying anything.

"It's... it's a beautiful tattoo. Suits you well." James' voice was low and raspy, and it made you shiver. As if him being in such close proximity to you was causing him physical pain.

"Thanks..." You struggle to catch your breath. What the hell is going on?

Not once, in all your years of knowing him, has James ever made it even seem like he had any interest in you. But now... now your head was spinning and his finger was still tracing over your skin and you can't fucking breathe.

"I- uh, sorry, I should start on these dishes." You nervously spit out, somehow forming a coherent sentence.

But as you move to get out of your chair, the same hand that was on your back a few, mere moments ago was now holding your wrist. It was as if his entire hand swallowed it.

Fuck.

"Y/N." He holds your gaze a little too intently, squirming under it.

"James..."

"Did I... was that uncomfortable? Did I go too far?" He sounded nervous, and you almost wanted to cry at how sincere he sounded.

"Oh, no! No, no, James, you- no, you're absolutely fine! I- I wasn't expecting it, and you touched me, which I don't think you've ever done it like that before, and it was just a lot-"

"A lot?" James' mouth is slanting into a grin and you hate how handsome he looks, you despise how devastatingly beautiful he is.

"Don't smile at me like that, you have never once in your life smiled at me in that way and I don't think I can survive this if you're making fun of me."

"Making fun of you? Y/N, I would never-"

"Oh you so would, don't even start with that."

"Well, I wasn't doing it this time! Jus' really like your... tattoo..." The uncertainty of his voice makes you pause your spiraling thoughts for a moment, and you have to take a good look at him.

"You like it?" You take your seat next to him again, facing him.

You were closer to him than you remember before.

"Well, more than like it, but whatever." He mumbles under his breath, his eyes trained on your face.

Your breathing practically stops at his confession, not knowing what to do with this information.

But it seems like he does. His vision has not once wavered from your eyes or lips.

Why is he looking at your lips like that?

"Can I kiss you, Y/N?" James' tone is quiet, intimate.

Oh. That's why.

"Yeah." You can barely strangle out of your throat, but you needed to say it before this opportunity slipped right out of your grasp.

And before you could even suggest that he didn't have to kiss you if he really didn't want to, you feel the breath escape your lungs as James places his lips upon yours.

They're chapped, a little rough, but you don't mind it one single bit. His hands come to envelop the sides of your face, and you think you could become a puddle on the stool, right there and then.

For a moment, you feel like none of this was real. What are the odds, your best friend's extremely cute older brother, who you've found attractive for some time now, is kissing you? The same one who has always acted indifferent around you? The one you thought saw you as nothing?

When you finally, (begrudgingly,) pull away from him, you have to take a moment to yourself; your eyes stay closed. Maybe this was all a dream and you've been imagining this whole thing.

"Open your eyes, Y/N. I wanna see those pretty E/C eyes." James doesn't demand, but his tone makes you want to open your eyes.

As your gaze is fixed on him, you wonder what he's thinking. What did he think of that kiss? Did he like it? Was it something he wanted to do again? Did he absolutely hate it and never wanted to see you again?

"I can sense you're spiraling in there, sweetheart. What's going on up there?" His hand is caressing the side of your face, and you feel like you could melt just there and then. A puddle on a stool in the kitchen is how Rebecca will find you when she gets back.

"I... I don't know. All I can think about is your hand on my face right now." Is what you can bring yourself to answer with right now.

"Do you like my hand being there? Or would you like me to move it?"

"No, please don't move it. I don't know what'll happen if you do." You sigh dramatically, and it elicits a smile from him.

"What do you mean?"

"What if you move your hand and suddenly I wake up and this was all some cruel dream? What if this isn't real and it's all in my head right now?" You ask, quite pathetically, you admit.

"It's not a dream, angel. I kissed you. You let me. And I think now would be the appropriate time for me to ask you something." James says gently, like the bubble around you two will burst if he speaks any louder.

Your brow furrows in question, and you nod for him to go on.

"Would it be alright if I asked you out? On a real date? I've been wanting to take you out for a while now... and I think now's a good time to ask." He smiles that smirk again, and you want to melt all over again.

"I would really, really love that, James." You feel like you're floating right now, like it's too good to be true. "Can I tell you something funny?" He nods.

"I've... I thought you were cute from the day I first met you. But you always acted so... indifferent around me, so I never thought I even stood a chance, and I kinda gave up on the idea you'd ever see me that way. But now... I think this is one of the best days of my life."

A moment of silence passes between you two.

"Y/N... the first time Becca introduced me to you, I thought to myself, 'She's the most gorgeous person I've ever seen.' And from that day on, I tried to find a way to talk to you, but I was just a wimp. But trust me, you were running circles 'round my mind from the first day." He confesses, and you feel the blush overtake your face at his confession.

"Really, James?"

"Really, Y/N." His smile makes you believe it.

"I knew it! I knew it, I was wondering when one of you wan gonna break!' Rebecca's voice comes from the doorway of the apartment, you and James breaking apart at the yell.

"Jesus, Reb, gonna give me a heart attack one day." James mumbles.

"Shut up! Don't try and change the subject! I knew you two had a thing for each other. Did you guys kiss? Oh my-" Her dramatics continue on, and you hold back the smile while rolling your eyes.

"Well, your brother here is going to take me out on a date. Happy?" You supply, hoping it'll calm her down.

Of course, it does the opposite.

"Really? Holy shit, didn't think you had it in ya, Jamie! Good job!"

"Rebecca... please. I'm two seconds away from tackling you to the ground."

"Try your best, big guy. I can handle it!" She replies, and you stifle your giggle as James moves up from his seat and starts towards his sister.

"No!" She shrieks, running away.

"You said you could handle it!" James' voice resonates from another room she ran into.

"I lied! Stop! Leave me alone! Y/N, help!"

"Sorry, Reb. I got nothin'!" You yell out, hoping she heard you.

"Oh, I see how it is, now that he told you he likes you you're taking his side!" She runs out, James hot on her heels.

"That's right!" He confirms, flashing you a quick grin as he runs.

"James, leave her alone. I have something for you!" You hope to catch his attention, and it works when he stops right in front of you.

"What's that, pretty girl?" His arms come on either side of you on the chair and countertop as you're sat sideways on the stool.

You don't speak, just pushing yourself up to meet his lips once again, feeling him melt into you as your hands lace behind his neck to pull him down even further.

"God, now I'm gonna have to get used to this." Rebecca fakes a gag at you two.

"Yeah, you better. She's not goin' anywhere." James replies without moving his eyes off of you. "C'mon, both of you, get ready. Gotta treat both my girls to a nice cup of coffee. Ten minutes!"

As you nod, you watch him walk into his room, and Rebecca just stares at you with a maniac smile. She moves towards you and wraps you in a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm so happy for the both of you. I can't believe he finally made a move." She tells you.

"You knew?"

"I could tell. He always had that look in his eyes when you weren't looking." Rebecca explains.

"What look?" You ask, bewildered.

"Y'know... the look. The look that you can't see, but everyone else can tell. He's got hearts in his eyes and angels flying around his head." She laughs.

You can't say anything, stunned by her words, but she just pats your shoulder and motions for you to get ready.

"C'mon, let's get you dressed, or we'll never hear the end of it from him."

"I heard that!" James' voice echoes from his room, and you both laugh.

As you walk into Rebecca's room, you can't help feel like you're finally whole. Like you aren't crazy, and that maybe... just maybe... there really is someone for everyone.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader fluff #best friend's brother!bucky #best friend's brother!bucky x reader

[streetlight11]

What Are You Doing Here?

Summary: It's been 6 years since you earned the title of being an Aunt to one of the most beautiful little girl you've ever laid eyes on. She was your sister's daughter and you love her with all your heart. So what happens when you go over to your sister's place to surprise both her and your niece, only to meet the babysitter who has been looking after your niece for a few weeks now?

Theme: babysitter au, ex-schoolmates to lovers

Genre: slowburn, romance, fluff

Warnings: mild language, mentions of irresponsible partner,

W/C: 10.9k

Pairing: Babysitter!Changmin x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! I'm back with another fanfic! Apologies for my horrible description about y/n's work and job role because I know nothing about finance and how it works 🤡 Hope you like the overall fanfic though 🙏🏼

6 years ago, your sister gave birth to the most gorgeous little human being you’ve ever seen. She was the reason why you became an aunt. You love your niece with all your heart, promising to be there beside her every step of the way. Reason being the guy who got your sister pregnant who is supposedly her boyfriend of 3 years, had chosen to abandon his responsibilities as a father when he found out she was carrying his child. You were beyond furious with him to the point where you actually went down to his apartment to curse the fuck out of him.

After your niece was born, you made sure that you were there with her as she grew up. She was the reason why you look forward to living everyday. There wasn’t a day where you didn’t spend time with her. When you were in college, you worked as a part time barista to pay off your school fees and monthly expenses on food and stuff. The extra money you had was spent on her toys, snacks, food, anything that would make her happy and lessen your sister’s burden in a way.

She is a single mom after all so it’s only right for you to help out with whatever you can. Whenever your sister has to work or is busy with something, you’re always there to help her out no matter how tired or busy you are. A few years following her birth, your sister had saved enough money to rent an apartment solely for her and her daughter, Lucy.

As much as she was thankful that your parents were okay with having her and Lucy live in your family home, your sister wanted to move out because your parents were already old and she didn’t want to burden them even more. Taking care of two kids was already enough for them. Therefore, your sister rented a place not too far from your campus. During the first three years after you graduated high school, you were still living with your parents.

When you finally saved enough money, that’s when you moved out and rented an apartment that was just a 15 minutes walk from your sister’s place. It was way easier to travel back and forth to look after Lucy and spend time with her ever since.

Sometimes you would go to their place, sometimes they would come to your place. You are pretty close with your sister. You loved her unconditionally so to see her go through parenthood alone, it definitely breaks your heart but you also see how strong she is. Not many people can do this and yet, here she is. You are beyond proud of her.

It’s been 7 years since you graduated high school and you are now a working adult. You are working under a pretty well known company. Your job is stressful but most of the time, you have very codependent team members whom you work well with. You are thankful that your team is a bunch of nice people who you can bond with. The team has a total of 5 people and you’re all really good friends with each other. There was Jieun, who is your team leader, Yoongi, Taehyung, Yeji and yourself.

You have been working with this company and the team for almost 2 years now and you’re still grateful for it till today. Whenever you’re having a whole load of work stress, they’re always there to relieve it. Even your sister knows them because of how often you tell her about them.

However a few months ago, your CEO announced that they were starting this new production line which will be a test to see how well the sales are. If it goes well, they will launch the product for good and put it out on the market. Your job was to keep an eye on the sales and calculate the financial impact of the product. It’s stressful but at least you have a team working with you on it.

Due to this new project, you had to OT more often every week and this has led to you only seeing Lucy on weekends and less on weekdays. It sucks that you have to spend less time with your niece but at least you still see her on weekends.

It was a Saturday afternoon and you promised to bring Lucy to the mall. So it was Lucy, your sister and yourself who are going to the mall to hang out for the day. Jisoo drove so she placed Lucy in her baby chair at the back seat while you sat in front with your sister. Lucy was sleeping so you had this time to have a private chat with Jisoo about life and work. A year ago, you were dating someone you met at university. He was two years younger than you and everything was going well with him.

He was your person.

Unfortunately, with the accumulating fights and disagreements began to slowly build up at one point, a huge argument happened one day and both of you decided to break things off after realizing that it might never work. Both of you had very different perceptions of things and could never come together as one. Therefore, that was the only logical thing to do and this all happened just over 2 months ago.

“I haven’t heard about him in a while. Lucy asked me about him recently too.” Jisoo said, only for you to stare blankly into the dashboard.

It took you a while to reply but when you did, you had to take a deep breath first and said, “We broke up…” Your sister glanced at you briefly but made sure to keep her focus on the road.

“When?”

“2 months ago, give or take…” You said quietly to avoid waking Lucy up.

“I’m sorry.” She said, making you shake your head.

“No, it’s fine. I just feel like we’re too different and we’re no longer compatible with each other. So I didn’t wanna waste my time pining over someone who doesn’t wanna work together.”

“Well, I guess you did the right thing then… What are you gonna tell her though?” Jisoo asked as you glanced at the back seat to find Lucy sleeping.

“I won’t say anything to her until she asks me about him, I guess…”

“Yeah, I think it’s best if she hears it from you instead of me.” Jisoo said. You agreed with her decision because it’s your life so you should be the one sharing, not her. Just then, she changes the topic to avoid the awkward atmosphere about your ex boyfriend.

“By the way, I know I should’ve told you sooner but a few weeks after you started to get busy with your OTs, I started to keep getting night shifts so I decided to hire a babysitter. It’s been a month now. And guess what?”

“What?”

“Lucy loves him! She adores him so much, it’s literally so adorable.”

“Wait a minute… Your babysitter is a guy?” You asked in disbelief.

“Yeah. Young and handsome too.” She said with a cheeky wink, causing you to gag. Your sister then scoffs at your reaction to defend herself before you get the wrong idea.

“Not for me, you fool. I’m telling you that he’s young and handsome.” She smirked teasingly to which you rolled your eyes.

“How young? And I don’t trust your tastebuds.”

“Rude. Look, he’s your age and I’m telling you… He is drop dead gorgeous.” She said but all you did was brush her off.

You still won’t believe her until you see him for yourself. Only then will you agree with whether he’s handsome or not.

You changed the topic again, not wanting to wake Lucy up as Jisoo finally pulls into the mall car park. All three of you got out of the car once it was properly parked and made your way into the mall. You spend almost half a day there, grabbing lunch, going to the clothing store to shop for your things, going to a toy store to buy Lucy new toys and plushies, going to watch a new cartoon movie in the cinema.

All in all, it was a very good day well spent with Lucy after a stressful week at work. Unfortunately, your day was being cut short when your sister got a last minute call from her senior nurse telling her to come down tonight to cover a shift for her colleague who took an urgent leave. You were pissed because today was supposed to be Jisoo’s day off but there’s nothing much you can say. Even if you told your sister to tell them it’s her day off, she would still go down to cover the shift.

Which is why you were now at her apartment to keep Lucy company for the night while your sister left for work. After she left, you showered Lucy and prepared her dinner. You were just feeding her dinner in the living room when she came to you with a sketchbook filled with drawings.

“Wow, did you draw these?” You asked as she sat in your lap to flip through the pages.

“Yeah! But Uncle Minie drew some of it!” She said, making you wonder if that was the name of her babysitter.

“Is Uncle Minie a good person?”

“He is! He’s very nice to me and mommy.”

“Mmm, you must really like him then, don’t you?” You said and as a result, she giggled adorably in your lap.

“I do! You have to meet him… I think you will like him too, Auntie Y/N!” She said so all you could do was smile. You continued to play with her after dinner until she grew tired so you could tuck her into bed. When she was finally asleep, you cleaned up the house a little before taking a shower and went to bed.

Almost a month has passed since you last saw Lucy and your sister. Work got very hectic and your schedule has been pretty off lately. You had to work on weekends for the past few weeks and it was mentally draining. The project has been a success recently which is why you had to work extra everyday but your schedule was starting to simmer down and was now proceeding to launch it for real and properly this time. Nevertheless, it has been really tiring for you but thankfully you had your team with you to motivate each other and give words of encouragement to one another.

It was a Friday evening and you decided to surprise Lucy and your sister tonight after not seeing them for so long. Before heading over to their place though, you didn’t forget to stop by Lucy’s favourite fast food restaurant to get her french fries. It was her ultimate favourite snack that she would never fail to ask for whenever you brought her out or came over to the house. You bought extra food so everyone could eat, including the babysitter just in case he was hungry.

It didn’t take long to arrive at your sister’s apartment so when you made it in front of her door, you gave it a few knocks and waited patiently for someone to open it. The one who ended up greeting you at the door was Lucy.

“Hi baby!” You said as she hugged your hips tightly with his small dainty arms.

“How are you, my favourite niece?” You asked as she let go of your hips to let you walk in. You closed the door behind you as Jisoo came out from the kitchen with her uniform already worn.

“I’m good, auntie!” Lucy said, making you kiss the top of your head before holding out the bags of food in your hand.

“I bought all of us dinner. And I bought you fries, Lucy!”

“Yay!” She cheered as she ran off and disappeared into the living room.

“What time are you leaving for work?” You asked as your sister took the bags from you while you took off your heels by the door.

“Soon. I have to come early tonight because one of the nurses took an urgent leave.” She said.

“Eat something first at least before you go. Don’t delay your dinner.” You scolded her while she quietly took out the fries from the bag. You helped her take a plastic plate from the cabinet, passing it to her. She then took out a handful of fries and placed it on the plate before you took it and brought it to the living room where Lucy was playing with her dolls.

“Lucy, auntie will put your fries here okay?” You said as she ran over to take one and put it in her mouth while excitedly thanking you. Just when you turn to go back to the kitchen, a figure comes out of the hallway only to stop dead in his tracks. His eyes were completely wide from shock.

“Changmin? What are you doing here?” His name slips off your tongue naturally as your sister looks back and forth between you and Changmin. He was speechless and so were you until Lucy ran up to his side and held his hand in hers with a bright smile.

“Auntie, how do you know Uncle Minie? Is he your boyfriend too?” Lucy asked as you glanced over to your sister and then to Changmin. He was still staring at you quietly but his eyes were no longer wide so you looked at Lucy and smiled.

“H-He’s just an old friend, who happens to be a boy. Not my boyfriend.” You explained to her while she let go of his arm and hops over to you when you gestured her to come to you.

“Who is your boyfriend then?” She asked, to which you kneeled down beside the coffee table while you pulled her into your lap.

“Remember Uncle Sunwoo?”

“The one who gave me the stitch soft toy?” She asked and you smiled at her.

“Yes. Do you remember him?”

“I do!”

“That was my boyfriend.” You said while gently cupping her cheek.

“Why isn’t Uncle Sunu here today?” She asked, only for you to accidentally glance up to find Changmin staring at you quietly with no particular expression on his face.

“Because he’s no longer my boyfriend anymore, that’s why he’s not here. But it’s okay, you have Uncle Changmin now right? I heard you like Uncle Changmin a lot.” You asked, only for her to giggle and point to him with a bright smile on her face.

“Yes! I like Uncle Minie!” She said. After you’ve let go of her, she runs back to him only to bring him to her play area in front of the tv.

You’ve known Changmin since kindergarten and high school. You used to bicker with him a lot and because he was your classmate, all the more reason for you to fight with him almost everyday. As much as you don’t like him at the time, you don’t consider him your enemy though. It’s not like you despise him or anything as a person. Sure he’s sort of similar to you in terms of being introverts but other than that, he’s too much of a weirdo to actually understand how he sees things when he was younger. Therefore, the endless amount of arguments with him. And after graduating, you never saw him again.

You went back into the kitchen to help pack the food for your sister, making sure she wouldn’t starve at work knowing how she is when she’s stressed or is thinking too much about things she chooses not to share with anyone. So when you placed the bag of burger and fries in her smaller lunch bag, you reminded her to eat when she’s having her break time and to not skip her meals during work. You then walked with her to the front door only to call Lucy over.

“Lucy, your mommy’s going to work.”

“Okay! Bye mommy!” She said as she ran to your sister to give her a hug and kiss. You were just watching them when Changmin’s voice sounded softly from behind you.

“Didn’t expect to see you again.” He said.

“Me too… Didn’t take you for a babysitter.”

“This is just a past time thing…”

“But you babysit her almost everyday.”

“Because I like her.” Upon hearing his words, this made you whip your head to him with a frown.

“My sister or my niece?” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“What do you think? Not gonna lie though, your sister’s pretty hot.” That’s when you slapped his arm and glared at him.

“My sister is off limits you pervert.” You scolded him, only for him to cackle.

“Fine. What about her sister then? Is she off limits too?” It took you a while to realise what he was saying and before you could even reply to him, Lucy was already rushing to you and waving to her mother.

“Bye sis.” You smiled as you gestured to Lucy to follow Changmin while you went to lock the front door. You came back to the living room to find Changmin teasing her by stealing her fries. You’ve never seen this side of him. Who knew Changmin of all people would be this good to a child especially considering he’s the youngest in his family.

About an hour or so later after you’ve showered and changed into your pyjamas since you’ve already planned to sleep over, you came back out to find Lucy curled up in Changmin’s lap on the couch. Paw Patrol was playing on the screen but it seemed like no one was really watching. You carefully walked closer to find Changmin patting her to sleep in his arms. He saw you from the corner of his eye so he glanced over his shoulder with a small smirk on his face.

“I think she’s in love with me.” He said, making you roll your eyes at him.

“I doubt that.” You walked over to kneel in front of his legs only to gently cup her face.

“Darling, come on. Let’s get you to bed.” You softly said as she stirred awake.

“Are you sleeping here tonight?” She asked tiredly while her tiny head was still against his chest.

“Yes, darling.”

Just then, Lucy looked up at Changmin and asked, “Are you sleeping here too?”

Changmin couldn’t help but glance over to you for a brief second before answering her, “I don’t have to sleep over tonight since your Auntie Y/N is here.” He said but she instantly whined.

“But… I want both of you here.” She said, making you stunned. Both Changmin and you exchanged looks for a second as if to figure out what to say but he beat you to it.

“Alright then. Uncle Min will stay with you and Auntie Y/N, okay?”

“Okay.” She giggled tiredly as she opened her arms to you so you took her onto your waist and carried her to her room. Once you’ve tucked her in, you sang her to sleep. Her favourite lullaby that apparently, only you and Changmin can sing for her. Lucy wouldn’t let your sister sing for her. She would ask your sister to read her a bedtime story instead. You made sure she was already fast asleep before you kissed her forehead and left the bedroom door slightly ajar. You came back outside to find Changmin cleaning up the mess she made with her toys.

While he was doing that, you cleared the kitchen by putting the leftover food in the fridge and throwing away whatever is deemed as trash. Both of you were working in silence, never once talking to each other. After you finished cleaning the kitchen, you went to the living room to find it empty. Changmin must’ve gone inside to sleep so you let out a soft sigh of relief. About half an hour later, you were just watching a tv series on netflix when soft footsteps came approaching you from behind. Before you could turn, Changmin came into your peripheral vision and sat down next to you.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” He asked as a strong whiff of vanilla filled your nostrils. It must be the body wash you saw in the bathroom.

“I could ask you the same question.” You said, earning a click of his tongue.

“I’m not sleepy yet. Your turn.”

“I need a break before I do a bit of work.” You said and he finally turns to you with a frown. You looked at him and gave him a shrug of your shoulders, “What?”

“It’s already after hours… What work do you possibly have to do?” He asked only for you to sigh.

“My work… You wouldn’t know.” You ended off in a whisper while turning your focus back to the tv. A few minutes later, Changmin excused himself quietly without telling you where he was going. Not like you cared or anything. So when you realised he never came back out after an hour, you guessed he was asleep. You stayed up till 4 in the morning just working on the upcoming project you had with the company’s sales.

You were doing your work at the kitchen island with your back facing the hallway. At one point during the night, Changmin left the guest room to go to the bathroom. He saw you seated on the stool with fingers tangled in your hair. He was curious to know what work you had to do that made you stay up all night but he wasn’t going to ask. He saw that it was nearing 4am and it kind of worried him a little. Changmin knew how tiring and mentally draining it is to stay up late to do work so he could only hope you’ll get the rest you deserve.

Days began to pass by fast, making sure to visit your sister’s house a few times a week on days where you weren’t working overtime so that you could spend time with Lucy again. It’s been over three months now and you’ve been to their house almost every week now. Of course not everyday since the project was still going on. And in all the times you came over, Changmin was always around. There are times when he’s oddly nice and kind to you, never once picking on you. Other times he was always being a little ass to you briefly so Lucy doesn’t catch on.

One thing’s for sure, Changmin has never really said something that made you absolutely pissed before so that’s good in a way. It was a Thursday evening and you made it to your sister’s apartment a few minutes after she left. You had to stay at the office for a bit and she had to leave early due to an emergency. Therefore, you didn’t get the chance to meet her. However, it’s okay because you still went over to spend time with Lucy.

You brought cakes for dessert, knowing she loves the strawberry shortcakes that were sold at a nearby cafe. When you reached their doorstep, you gave it a few knocks, only to hear her high pitched voices and soft footsteps rushing towards the door.

“Auntie!” She exclaimed excitedly as she carefully tiptoed to grab onto the door handle. But before she would accidentally wedge her toes under the door, Changmin was quick to hold onto the side of the door while gently telling her to step away from it.

With that being said, she hopped to the side only to hug your leg so you wrapped your arm around her hip and carried her up with one arm while the other was holding onto the bag of cakes. Changmin closed the door while you took off your shoes, only to feel him take the bag from you quietly and bring it to the kitchen. This allows you to properly hug Lucy and playfully swing her around as she laughs against your chest. You then placed her down on her feet, running back to her toys in the living room.

Changmin was just staring at the cakes so you couldn’t help but giggle softly at his sim-like behaviour and asked, “Why are you just staring blankly at the cakes? Is there something wrong with it?”

“No… I just, I’m trying to figure out which cake is Lucy’s.” Changmin said as you came to stand beside him.

“Make a guess.” You said. It took him 3 tries but when he finally got it, he decided to act smug about it like he was just trying to test you.

“I knew which one she liked. I just wanted to see if you knew.” Changmin said, making you mock him with a laugh. He made a silly face to you while rolling his eyes, earning a soft slap to his chest before calling for your niece. She came over to you and was utterly surprised upon seeing her favourite cake.

“Is this mine?” She asked excitedly, making you nod.

“Yeah! Do you want me to feed you or do you wanna eat it on your own?”

“Hmm… I want Uncle Minie to feed me.” She giggled while sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth teasingly. You faked a shocked face and soon pretended to get upset.

“Do you like Uncle Minie more or Auntie more?” You asked.

“Uncle Minie.” Lucy said with a laugh and that was it. You wanted to get back at her for choosing an outsider over yourself. Of course this was all just for fun and games, you weren’t actually this petty. However, while all this was happening, Changmin was actually enjoying this scene in front of him where you were having a playful banter with your niece. He was almost adoring you in a way where nobody else would realise unless someone was there to see his reaction live.

“Fine. Then you can’t have Uncle Minie. He’s mine.” You said as you stood in front of Changmin to shield her from him. Lucy laughed as she tried to go to the side but you followed her to block her. She was laughing till her heart’s content, failing to get to her babysitter who was all the while just standing there with the most fondest smile on his face.

Just when Lucy was holding your hands to apologise for choosing him instead of you, the pair of warm hands sliding over your waist and around your front was enough to catch you off guard as you accidentally crashed backwards into Changmin’s chest.

“Lucy ah, if you want uncle Minie, you have to want auntie Y/N too or else she’s gonna be very sad. Okay?” Changmin said as you tried so desperately hard not to turn your head because if you did, the chances of accidentally kissing him is very high. Not that you wouldn’t want that to be honest. But at least not right now. So with that being said, Lucy giggled and she quickly apologised to you before hugging you. Changmin had already pulled away from you but he was so tempted to keep his arms around you.

After you’ve kissed the top of her head, Changmin held her hand and brought her to the front to play and eat before she went to bed. All the while, you helped to tidy the house a little so that your sister wouldn’t have to do much cleaning when she gets home from work tomorrow. Hours later, you had just put Lucy to bed and so it was time for you to leave since you’re working tomorrow.

You came back out to find Changmin just finished cleaning up her scattered toys and putting them back in her basket. He stood up and immediately locked eyes with you, feeling something tickle your stomach.

“You’re not staying?” He spoke up first while he slowly approached you.

“I have work tomorrow. I have to come early and stay late to finish up the quotas for the project.” You sighed, watching as he stopped right in front of you. All you needed to do was stretch your arms out, grab his shirt and pull him in but of course you’re not gonna do that.

“So I’m assuming that you won’t be stopping by tomorrow evening?” He asked.

“Probably not… Why? Are you gonna miss me?” You couldn’t help but ask as a smirk slowly creeps onto your face.

“Miss you? I think you’re delusional, babe.”

“Am I?” You asked, seeing the way his eyes grew a tad larger for just a split second before it shrunk back to his original size.

“I’d miss you any day.” Changmin teased you back, now you’re the one who’s speechless. He laughed at your reaction, thinking you were hella cute as he watched you take your work bag and was making your way straight to the door. You left without another word said to him, hearing his cackle grow softer the minute the door was shut. As soon as Changmin had locked the doors and was making his way back into the apartment, he caught Lucy standing in the middle of the hallway just tiredly rubbing her eyes and was slightly groggy.

“Where did auntie go?” She asked so he carefully walked to her and carried her onto his waist to bring her back to her room.

“Auntie has to go home, darling. She has to work tomorrow.” Changmin gently explained to her while laying her back onto her bed and pulling the blankets over.

“Uncle Min?”

“Yes baby?”

“Do you like my auntie?” Lucy asked as she yawned but was patiently waiting for his answer. Changmin took no less than a minute to answer her question easily in a heartbeat.

“Yes I do. I like your auntie… I like her a lot.”

“You should tell her. I like you with my auntie a lot too.” She said as she slowly fell asleep again. Changmin unconsciously smiled, remembering this conversation. He definitely wasn’t lying to her about how he feels about you.

If only he can tell you…

A week has passed, as usual, your sister was working a night shift today and Changmin would be at her place to look after Lucy. Since it was a Friday evening, you were okay with sleeping over at your sister’s place since you’re not working tomorrow. So when you went there, everyone was present in the house. However, there is a new individual who is in the house and he was playing with Lucy while Changmin and your sister were in the kitchen preparing Lucy’s dinner.

“Hey! I’m here.” You said after Lucy greeted you at the door. Once you’ve taken off your heels, you made your way further into the house only to lock eyes with the new guy who soon stood up to greet you.

“Hello? I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ve met you before. You are?” You asked politely as he let out an awkward laugh and responded to your question nicely.

“I’m Heegeun. Jisoo’s uh… friend.” He smiled and you could tell he was lying but you never pry any further.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m her younger sister, Y/N.” You said before making your way into the kitchen. She was practically hiding behind Changmin so you pinched her side softly in annoyance.

“He’s not just your friend, is he? Who is he? Your boyfriend?” You asked in a whisper all behind Changmin who was scooping out the rice porridge into a bowl for Lucy. Even then, Changmin couldn’t help but smirk hearing this conversation happening right behind him.

“He’s… ah. I’ll explain tomorrow. I have to go now.” Jisoo escaped despite you trying to hold her back.

“Heegeun ah, let’s go. Lucy, mommy will see you tomorrow okay? I love you.” Jisoo said as she bid her daughter goodbye at the doorway. Meanwhile, you clicked your tongue in annoyance and whispered to yourself, “Ugh. He’s definitely not her friend…” Nevertheless, you heard the door click shut and Lucy soon went back to her toys. So you took this opportunity to interrogate Changmin instead.

“Why are you smiling? You know something, don’t you?” You asked, only for him to shrug his shoulders teasingly.

“I don’t know anything. He was already here when I came about an hour ago.” Changmin said, making you growl.

“There’s something fishy going on here…” You said while narrowing your eyes at him but then changed the topic as you took the bowl and walked over to Lucy to feed her dinner.

Your mind keeps drifting off to the guy earlier and you can’t stop worrying about history repeating itself again. Ever since what happened with Lucy’s biological father, you have gotten awfully overprotective towards your sister that you tend to analyse whoever wants to date her. So the fact that this guy suddenly appears in the picture without your sister telling you a thing about him, makes you feel slightly skeptical.

All the while you were just blankly staring into space with your mind somewhere else, Changmin was actually observing you. He kept smiling to himself knowing you were probably going crazy about who the guy was and all that. When you knew it was pointless to keep thinking about that guy’s relation with your sister, you just glanced to the left randomly with no particular intentions. Unfortunately, that caused you to lock eyes with Changmin but all he did was smirk at you charmingly.

After you’ve fed Lucy, you went to clean up the kitchen while Changmin accompanied her for the next few minutes before bringing her to bed. It took him less than 10 minutes to get her to finally sleep as he leaves her room quietly. Changmin walks into the living room to find you seated on the couch just watching your favourite american youtuber duo on the smart tv.

Changmin soon came to join you, sitting so close to you that you could literally rest your leg on his thigh since you sat with your legs bent into your chest. Still in your work clothes but thankfully you’re in formal pants so it’s fine to sit like that.

“What would you do if that guy is actually dating your sister?” Changmin suddenly asks, causing you to get agitated again.

“I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t break her heart and treat her the way she deserves to be treated or else I’ll come for his throat.”

“Woah. You’re literally threatening him.” He laughed but you frowned.

“After what that asshole did when he found out my sister was pregnant, I’m never letting any guy come near her unless he’s proved to me that he’s worthy of my sister.” You said protectively and he could sense that from you. Nevertheless, he totally understands where you’re coming from.

“So what kind of guys do you like?” He suddenly changes the topic, catching you off guard a little.

“I-I… I actually don’t know… If I like someone, I’ll just know I guess.”

“How would you know if you like someone?” He asked, making you shy all of a sudden. It was difficult for you to answer at first but you managed to do it after a few seconds of buffering.

“W-Well… When I have butterflies while being around them? Or maybe when I feel comfortable and safe around them?” Changmin seemed to digest your answer as you wondered why he was asking you this question. Just then, he got up and said he wanted to go to sleep claiming he’s tired and sleepy. You bid him goodnight as you went to take a shower before going to bed yourself.

The next morning, your sister came home at about 8am as she found you sleeping in her bed. That same afternoon when Jisoo had already gotten her sleep since today was her day off, the four of you decided to hang out at the mall. Changmin was the one driving today so you sat in front with him while your sister and niece sat at the back. All the while, Lucy poked her head through the gap in the middle between you and Changmin. She sang and danced to the songs that Changmin put on his car radio just for her.

At one point, while Lucy was just talking to her mother about something out the window, you glanced back only to smile at the sight. The car gradually came to a stop at the traffic junction so you turned to look in front but instead, you caught Changmin’s gaze on you.

“What?” You asked softly, earning a cheeky little smile from him. One that wakes the butterflies in your stomach.

“Have I ever mentioned you’re pretty?” He suddenly flirts with you despite knowing there’s two other people in the back.

“Shut up.” You dismissed him with a shy laugh, knowing he’s just being playful. There’s absolutely no way he actually means what he said… Right?

Just then, Changmin glared and clicked his tongue at you to show that he was probably disappointed with your reaction. Though, knowing how he is, he was just joking with his reaction and it was true because he then replied, “Ungrateful…” Upon hearing this, you gently punched his arm and he hissed but never got angry for real. How did you know? Because right after he did that, you could see the way the corner of his lips curled up.

In another 10 minutes, you arrived at the mall where Changmin finally parked the car in the parking lot upstairs. The moment the engine was turned off, Lucy was already scrambling out of the car and was dragging her mother into the lobby which leads straight into the shopping mall. She was so eager to go see the toy shops she saw the other day. While the two mother and daughter were walking ahead, you waited for Changmin to get out of the car and locked it before walking with him.

You were going to turn the corner where the slope is when Changmin slid his right arm around your waist from behind to pull you in right as a car was speeding down the slope.

“Watch where you’re going, pretty.” Changmin said, making you blush.

“I-I was about to stop…” You faked an excuse as he squeezed your side softly before letting go.

Both of you made it safely into the mall, not surprised when you saw the two of them entering the toy shop just opposite from the lobby. You walked towards the shop and went inside to find them. Lucy was going around, looking at all the toys and playsets but your sister told her not to get any because she already has a lot at home.

Lucy isn’t the kind to cry and beg her mother for something she wants but you can see from her expression. Your heart breaks whenever you see her like that so when all of you were now at an ice cream shop, everyone had their own ice creams except for Lucy. She was sulking so she didn’t wanna buy anything even when her mother consoled her. With that being said, you looked at Lucy who was seated diagonally across from you and beside Changmin with a smile.

“Hey Lucy darling, mind if you accompany me go see a dress at one of the shops? I think I might change my mind about it.” At first she just shook her head and hung her head against Changmin’s chest. So you got up and went over to her side before you cupped her face and made her look at you gently, giving you the chance to whisper to her something her mother couldn’t catch.

“I’ll buy whatever you want from the toy store but don’t tell mommy.” That was all you said as she finally tore away from Changmin and kept her sad face on but decided to follow you. It was only when the two of you were no longer visible in their sight that you high fived her and she giggled excitedly to you.

Meanwhile, after you left, Changmin was just eating his ice cream when your sister suddenly spoke up from her seat diagonally across from him.

“Changmin, you’re a really nice guy and apparently a very good babysitter.”

“Oh. Thanks? I’m just doing my job.” Changmin said with a laugh, only for her to smile.

“But I think it’s time for me to talk to you about this…” She paused to give him the element of suspense. He was thinking that he was gonna be in trouble for something he did wrong or maybe even fired at this point. Except, the question that came out of her mouth was the least expected question to ever cross his mind.

“Do you like her?” She asked, catching him off guard.

“H-Her who? Your daughter or your sister?”

“I know you like my daughter. But unfortunately, I’m referring to my sister.” She laughed to lighten up the mood and it worked. Changmin felt a little less tense but he was still nervous about the question. Since he was taking too long to answer, she decided to change her question.

“Okay, nevermind. Scratch that. Let me rephrase myself… What do you think of my sister?”

Now that’s a question he could answer in a heartbeat.

“I think she’s an amazing person. She’s smart, kind, and can be annoying sometimes back when we were younger but she’s such an amazing auntie to Lucy and I can see that really well.” Your sister smiled happily at her bowl of ice cream before she spoke up afterwards.

“Now is it easier for you to answer my original question that I asked?” She teased and so Changmin chuckled nervously but he felt ready to give her his answer.

“I do like your sister. I actually like her a lot now…”

“Good. Because I think she likes you too, just that she’s still trying to figure that part out.” Your sister said as he felt something tickle his heart. Do you really like him too? If you do, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Just a few seconds after, you came back with Lucy and there was a huge plastic bag you were holding in your hand, paired with a toothless soft toy in Lucy’s arms. Your sister’s jaw drops as Changmin simply laughed at her reaction.

“I knew you were lying earlier, you brat.” She said to you, making you stick your tongue out at her teasingly.

“I know.” You said as you flipped your hair sassily and she scoffed but her smile betrayed her.

“Well, now that you’re here, I’m gonna go check out the home furniture store upstairs.” She said as she soon disappeared. Changmin brought Lucy to go buy her ice cream since she was in a happier mood now. When they came back, Lucy asked Changmin to feed her. He did it without hesitation, paying full attention to her only to abandon his own cup of ice cream that was ⅓ done.

“Lucy, can you eat on your own? Uncle Min needs to finish his ice cream before it melts” You said, trying to make her listen.

“No! I want Uncle Minie to feed me.” She said with a proud smile on her face.

“Can I feed you then? He needs to eat his ice cream too.” You tried to persuade her but she whined.

“Lucy.” You called her name once in a serious tone but she looked at you with a frowning pout. Her eyes started to get glossy so Changmin quickly stepped in and smiled at her.

“It’s okay, Lucy. Uncle Minie will eat later. Come, open your mouth.” He said while slowly bringing the spoon to her mouth. She eats it quietly, avoiding your gaze in case you scold her as she fiddles with her toothless soft toy ears. You let out a soft sigh, which was unfortunately heard by Changmin. You pressed your fingertips to your temples, only to hear him direct his words to you.

“Since she doesn’t want you to feed her, you can feed me before my ice cream turns into soup.” Changmin said. You glanced at him and then his ice cream bowl. It was starting to melt so you took his bowl and scooped a spoonful of ice cream and his toppings before bringing it to his mouth.

He ate it and the corner of his lips instantly curled into a small smile. You pretend you didn’t see that as he turned back to Lucy to feed her. This continued until her ice cream was finished, only then could he eat his dessert on his own. However, when you were about to pass it to him, he simply sat there with his mouth open. You raised your eyebrows at him in question and he smirked.

“Since you’ve been feeding me, you might as well continue.” Changmin said, making you shove the spoon onto the tip of his nose, getting a small blob of ice cream on it. You laughed as he narrowed his gaze at you on purpose but it didn’t scare you.

“It was a perfect opportunity. I’m sorry.” You said, only to feed him the last scoop before handing the rest to him. Changmin ate on his own after wiping his nose while Lucy came to sit next to you and apologised for making you angry. You told her you weren’t angry and that you just wanted her to be independent and she listened. All the while, Changmin was listening to you and it sparked something in him. Not long after, your sister came back and soon, all of you left to head home.

A few minutes upon reaching back at her apartment, you told your sister you weren’t staying over because you have to clean the house tomorrow so she said okay. Changmin also said he needed to go home to do his laundry. So when it was time to say goodbye to Lucy, both Changmin and you gave her a goodnight hug despite her crying, begging for you two to stay. Changmin went ahead and cupped her cheeks in his hands, giving her forehead a soft kiss to calm her down.

“Don’t cry, Lucy. Uncle Minie will come see you again soon. Auntie Y/N too, okay?” He said, making your heart swell.

“Y-You promise?” She asked so he nodded and did a pinky swear with her.

“I promise.”

“O-Okay…” She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck before letting go. She then came to you so you squat down to match her height and gave her a warm hug too. When both you and Changmin finally stepped out of the apartment unit, she gave you one big wave before her mother gently guided her back inside.

You were quietly walking next to him when he asked, “How are you getting home?”

“Bus, probably.” You said, only for him to offer you a ride home.

“I-It’s fine. I can take the bus.”

“I don’t take no for an answer.” He said, allowing you to enter the lift first. Once you got into his car, he asked for your address and so you gave it to him. In the car, his mind drifted back to your sister’s words earlier.

“I think she likes you too”

Changmin’s mind was swirling with questions following those words but he never actually voiced out to you about it. When he finally parked the car in front of your apartment complex, you thanked him for the ride home and bid him goodnight. He simply nodded and so you left his car right after.

Days have passed and it was recently announced that there will be a company event at the end of this week. The event is to celebrate the company’s 25th anniversary upon its first launch. Not only that, everyone was encouraged to bring a plus one to the event, be it their significant other, a friend, a family member, etc. Therefore, your friends in your team have decided to invite their partners along since they were all either engaged or in a relationship with someone. The only one who is single between the five of you, is you.

“So, are you guys gonna bring your partners?” Taehyung asked, earning a smirk from Yoongi.

“Hell yeah. I would be glad to show off my fiancè to that girl in the HR department who keeps flirting with me at work.” Yoongi said, making you laugh.

“How about you?” Yeji then turned to ask you, earning a quiet sigh from you. They knew you broke up with Sunwoo a while ago and that you’ve been single ever since. She felt bad for asking you so she tried to cheer you up, “You can go with me. We don’t need to bring anyone to the event.”

However, you knew she would love to bring her boyfriend to this event so you just smiled and rejected her offer. You reassured them that you’ll figure something out and told them not to worry about you. As much as they didn’t want you to feel left out, they knew you wouldn’t be affected by going solo to the event. With that being said, the topic was dropped and Jieun proceeded to talk about something else.

A few hours later, you made it to your sister’s apartment after work to have dinner before your sister leaves for work. You were at the kitchen island eating the kimchi soup your sister made with her while Changmin was in the living room with Lucy and you kept thinking about the company event. Your sister could probably sense your mind being somewhere else so she was the first to break your train of thoughts.

“You look like your mind just did a brain fart over there. What’s going on?” She asked you calmly as you sighed.

“My company is doing a 25th anniversary event this Saturday evening. They invited everyone in the company…”

“But?” She said knowing you were hiding something when you paused.

“But they encouraged all the workers to bring their plus ones. I can’t bring Sunwoo because he’s my ex now.”

“So ask Changmin.” She said almost so easily, causing you to widen your eyes in shock. Just then, Changmin’s voice sounded from behind you as he heard his name in the equation.

“Ask me what?” He said as you glared at your sister to keep her mouth shut but she of course didn’t care.

“She has this company event on Saturday evening and she needs a plus one so I told her to ask you since I’ll be out of town from Friday to Sunday with Lucy.” She said with a proud smile on her face. You just wanted to stab her right now for being so blunt. Nevertheless, Changmin looked at you and gave you his answer with no hesitation at all whatsoever.

“Sure. I’ll go with you. That is if you’re okay of course.”

You were speechless but maybe you were just a tad bit happy that he was okay to go with you considering you weren’t technically friends to begin with. So since he already said he could go with you, that’s one less thing on your checklist to prepare for the weekend.

A few days went by and it was finally time to get ready for the company event. You texted Changmin to ask again if he was really okay with going to the event as your plus one. He sent you the cutest message you’ve ever gotten by someone even though it sounds pretty threatening considering it’s him who texted it.

“You can either accept the fact that you’re going with a handsome lad or choose to go to the event with your lonely ass. You pick.”

It wasn’t a surprise that you laughed upon reading the text but he doesn’t have to know that… For the event, you decided to pick out the most formal yet casual dress you owned which was a simple black fitted lace dress that stops at your mid thighs. Pairing it with your favourite nude open toe heels that were just 3 inches at least. Your makeup was very light and you had your hair clipped up, leaving your bangs down to frame your face. When he texted you at 7pm saying he was downstairs, you texted back to acknowledge him and soon took your necessary belongings.

When you made it downstairs, you saw him lean against the passenger side door looking handsome as ever. Changmin was wearing a black skinny jeans, white button down formal shirt with the first four buttons undone, a black blazer over that and his black boots. His hair was jet black with the slight side parting, hair styled up to show his forehead.

Your heart was beating so fast as you approached him but you quickly maintained your composure when he finally looked up to meet your eyes. Changmin checked you out briefly and pretty much openly, making you feel a little small under his intense gaze. When he finally locked eyes with you again, he smirked charmingly at you and said, “Have you always looked this hot?” His comment was totally unexpected as it awoke the butterflies in your belly.

“Apparently not, I guess.” You said, only for him to laugh. Both of you got into the car and you gave him the address so he finally drove off following the map. In the car, he asked you more about the event and you tried your best to answer every question to your best abilities.

Right after he parked the car in the parking lot, he turned the engine off and suddenly asked, “By the way, what am I supposed to be tonight?”

“Oh… U-Uh… I don’t know. I guess just go with the flow?”

“Good idea.”

With that being said, both of you made your way into the lobby and went up to the ballroom level via the lift. When you arrived at the ballroom, you showed the security your staff pass and soon entered the venue with Changmin closely behind you. The room was filled with your colleagues but only a few were recognisable to you. Changmin scanned the entire room curiously, trying to get used to the new environment until he felt soft fingers wrap around his hand to bring him back to reality.

“Hey, keep walking or you’ll get lost.” You said with a gentle smile on your face, making his heart flutter. Nevertheless, he followed you to a table where your friends and their plus ones were seated at.

“Y/N! You made it!” Yeji said with an excited tone as her eyes soon flew over to Changmin behind you. She smirked at you but Taehyung beat her to the questions.

“Hey, who’s this?” He asked with a teasing smirk, making you blush.

“Guys, this is Changmin… He’s uh…” You paused as your mind grew fuzzy on what to say so you naturally turned to look at Changmin. However, he seemed oddly calm as he finally looked at them and spoke up confidently that it made you slightly shocked.

“Boyfriend… I’m her boyfriend.” Changmin said, causing your friends to make excited sounds that you couldn’t help but laugh, finding it funny.

“It’s nice to meet you, Changmin. You definitely made a good choice.” Taehyung said, making you slap his arm and soon took a seat in the empty chair next to him while Changmin sat next to you. All of you began to chat as Changmin surprisingly got along well with your colleagues and including their individual partners too. The event was going well so far, the CEO gave out his speech and was giving out awards to the staff members in the company. After that segment was done, it was currently a free and easy time. People can mingle around, dance on the dancefloor, etc.

Just then, Jieun noticed a photobooth at the other side of the room so she spoke up, telling everyone at your table to go take pictures for memories. Changmin remained seated at first but when you noticed he wasn’t moving, that’s when Yoongi spoke up to address him.

“You too, Changmin. Come on.” Changmin’s eyes grew wide as he looked up at you and you smiled. You patiently waited for him, seeing how hesitant he was. So to ease him up a little, you laced your fingers with him and he turned to look down at your intertwined fingers. Changmin glanced up to meet your soft eyes staring back at him, melting him into a puddle.

“We’re here together, remember?” You asked so he nodded. Both of you began to make your way to the photobooth where your friends and their partners were already busy choosing props for the pictures.

They beckoned you over so you dragged Changmin with you. Once you’ve chosen your prop which was a cat ears headband, Changmin chose the same as you so that you were both matching. First picture, the girls sat on the bench while the guys stood behind you. Second picture, the bench was taken away as you guys scattered around to stand with your partners. You stood behind Jieun while Changmin was to your left. Right before the picture was taken, you felt his warm hand gently rest on your waist to hold you securely beside him.

Your heart was racing as the picture was taken and they were now deciding how to pose. Meanwhile, you turned to him and saw that his hair was a bit messy. While everyone was deciding how to pose, you reached up and carefully adjusted his bangs so that they weren’t poking his eyes. All the while, Changmin couldn’t help but stare into your eyes even though you weren’t looking at him. When you finally realised he was staring at you, that’s where you giggled and whispered to him quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing. You just look really cute right now.” Changmin said.

You blushed yet again as you gently slapped his chest but he quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, his left hand holding his right wrist to keep you secure against him. Since you were stuck like that, you ended up resting your hands on his chest while you posed for the third picture.

“Okay guys! Should we do a cute photo for the last one?” Yeji asked, only for Taehyung to suggest something very unexpected.

“We should kiss our partners!” He said, making you panic slightly. Changmin noticed the way you tensed up in his arms so he felt the need to calm you down. With that being said, Changmin nudged your cheek with his sharp nose to make you look at him. When you turned, Changmin smiled down at you with his arms still around you.

“We don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to. We can just pretend.” He said calmly, making your heart melt.

Has he always been this sweet?

“I-I… Are you sure?”

“Of course. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything.” He reassured you and it was enough to make you feel a lot better.

Everyone else was already in their positions as they brought back the bench. Two couples were seated while the other three were standing. You were on the left side with Changmin, standing behind Yoongi and his fiancè. The cameraman did a countdown to tell you when he would snap the picture. So you turned to look at Changmin as you slid your hands onto his neck and kept them there.

3…

Changmin smiled softly at you while he carefully leaned down to let his nose brush against yours.

2…

You then saw his gaze fall down south easily as he let out a soft but shaky breath to calm his own rapid heart despite the smile still plastered on his face.

1…

Just two seconds before the cameraman took the picture, you tilted your head up to let your lips crash against his softly. He was still smiling into the kiss when the picture was captured, making you caress his jaw gently with your thumbs. When you pulled away, you struggled to meet his eyes. Butterflies erupted rapidly in your stomach, earning a soft laugh from him.

“Look who’s being brave tonight.” He teased you over a whisper, making you shy.

“It’s the best opportunity I have, I guess?” You said and he couldn’t help but agree. All of you returned the props back to the table and made your way back to the table. About an hour later, the event was finally over so it was time to head back home. You bid goodbye to your friends and their partners before walking back to Changmin’s car.

Both of you remained quiet during the first few minutes, not really sure how to approach the topic of what happened earlier. At one of the traffic junctions, you were just staring out the window, your mind currently running haywire thinking about the kiss when you felt his soft hand slip into yours and carefully laced his fingers together with yours. Changmin brings your hand up only to plant a gentle kiss to the back of your hand before resting them in his lap while he drives. When he made it to your apartment, he didn’t need to be asked because he was already walking with you to the lobby.

You quietly brought him to the lift and up to your apartment level, all in a peaceful silence. When you reached the 12th floor, both of you got out of the lift as you led him to your door. After you’ve unlocked your door, you turned around but Changmin thought you wanted to say your goodbyes.

“I’ll see you around then? Goodnight Y/N.” Changmin said as he was about to walk off when you held his wrist and pulled him back only to cup his face with your other hand and tugged him down to kiss him. Changmin was genuinely stunned this time as he froze when you kissed him. His hands were awkwardly hovering over your waist. Changmin was so scared of making the wrong move but when he felt how genuine your kiss was, that’s when he finally melted against you.

He easily wraps his arms around your waist to pull you into his chest while guiding you back to gently crash against the door. Changmin’s kiss was passionate and needy, his hands squeezing your sides as though he was afraid to let you go. You pulled away first to take a breath, holding his face with both hands and smiled.

“Stay with me tonight…” You whispered over his lips, causing him to go crazy.

“I would absolutely love to.” Changmin smirked as he kissed you again while reaching for the door handle to push it open. You stumbled back into your apartment while he held you to prevent you from falling over.

He then kicked the door closed and locked it before lifting you up onto his waist while kissing you again. He kicked off his shoes while he helped to unbuckle your heels and let it slip down to the ground. He walked deeper into your apartment, guiding him to your bedroom. Once he made it there, he brought you to your bed, gently laying you down as you sat up and watched him take off his blazer and tossed it to the ground.

Changmin crawls up the bed to join you, situating himself between your legs as you pull him down for a kiss. While you were busy kissing him, your hands began to unbutton his white shirt and pushed the material off his shoulders for him. He threw it to the ground as he then pouted to you adorably.

“Why am I the only one with less clothes on?” He asked, only for you to giggle.

“Because mine is just one piece.” You said, earning a playful smirk from him. Changmin kissed you while pinning your hands above your head. He laced his fingers with yours, holding them against the mattress while he kissed you lovingly. Suddenly, he stopped only to look you dead in the eye. You thought he was going to change his mind and that he just realised that this wasn’t what he wanted but then what comes out of his mouth next was totally unexpected.

“I think I love you.”

“What?”

This time, he said it confidently.

“Scratch that… I love you, Y/N.” Changmin said, making your heart swell. With that being said, you kissed him longingly while caressing his cheek. When you pulled away, you slowly fluttered your eyelids open to meet his gaze and smiled.

“I love you too, Changmin.”

That was all he needed to hear before continuing with where you both stopped. Knowing that the feelings are mutual, it felt a little more intimate now. All the while, he was being gentle to you, asking you questions to make sure you’re okay with what he’s doing. He would only go rough when he needs to, etc. That night, you felt so loved and respected. He showered you with so much love that it made you feel so full at the end of it all.

You’re glad he went to the event with you that night because if he didn’t, you probably still wouldn’t know how you felt for each other.

#the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz #the boyz ji changmin #tbz changmin #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #tbz q scenarios #tbz q x reader #the boyz q #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin fluff #ji changmin scenarios

[thelordfool]

i need help. again.

long and short of it: while i’m indeed working, a bunch of emergencies happened and i can’t afford to eat or pay the bills that are keeping me going to work. so i’m hoping the good will and kindness of people will shine through again.

for anyone that wants to see the proof and details, it’ll be below the cut. details on if you want to commission me so i can earn your money will also be down there. please share if you cannot comfortably donate. i will update the post as i get donations. i’m so sorry for doing this all the time. i just want it to stop.

Paypal.me/asrielelijahking / venmo: @thelordfool​ / CA: $thelordfool

$0/644.32

prelude: about me

i’m a disabled (CFS probably; severe chronic depression, ptsd, anxiety, definitely), queer (agender “trans masc” and wow people are pretty) artist that’s been having issues with employment for so long, and i know 100% my dr wont help me get a case for disability. i’ve gotten a job through a temp agency but the contract is month to month and i have no idea if i’ll be kept on. i’ll know by 10/7 if i still have a job on monday. there’s a few other things going on, like needing to repair my front door after my roommate’s kids kicked the glass and broke it, and needing to buy food both for the house and for the cats, but i’m trying not to worry about that at the moment because i’ve got the door covered in cardboard and there’s enough food for the next few days.

1. cat bills

After losing my cat, Cinderdoodle, on labor day, my eldest kitty, Scotty, needed to be taken into emergency. this was a huge, emotionally devastating blow to me. he’s thankfully alive and doing much better but the urinary diet food is very expensive. I’m only asking for help to cover the cost of the visit. I paid it on Care Credit and would really just like for it to go away as soon as possible.

2. personal medical bills

therapy’s fucking expensive! and i guess so is primary care. this is what i owe for both of them right now:

I do not have any more therapy scheduled currently. I’ll be unable to afford it anymore in the future, it appears.

3. rent

as some of you may know i live with my abusive ex because it’s either this or giving up my cats and entering homelessness. he’s been... better.... recently. i was able to work out that i can pay octobers rent in two parts to him, so i only owe him $190.

4. commissions info

if you search through the ‘my art’ tags on my blog you can find, well, my art. i am not going to change my prices again for this. art takes time, practice, and a lot of research and i’m proud of what i produce. here is my commissions sheet:

you can also check me out on twitter to see everything.

#pls reblog #pls share #and thank you #i cant say thank you enough

[morallyinept]

Shoot: Augustman Singapore, Oct 2019 Issue. Published online on Oct 10th 2019.

Photographer: Doug Inglish

Interviewer: Cezar Greif

Grooming: Mira Chai Hyde

Full interview, behind the scenes, outtakes & shoot photographs below. 👇🏻

Jett's Pedro's Shoots Masterlist

• Cover shot and original images used in the magazine.

• Outtakes and behind the scenes images.

• Full interview.

Pedro Pascal: Life before and after Game of Thrones.

Until recently, people were still erroneously addressing Pedro Pascal as Pascal Pedro. But he didn’t mind. Years of struggle in New York’s theatre scene had taught him to take things in stride. Pascal had studied drama in NYU, with his appearances on television after that limited to bit parts in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a few cop dramas. It took Game of Thrones, playing the part of Oberyn Martell, to make Pascal a household name – at the age of 37, no less.

Since that breakout role, Pascal has been busy. Among other works, he starred opposite Denzel Washington in The Equalizer 2, played a leading role in the Netflix biographical crime series Narcos, and acted as Agent Whiskey in Kingsman: The Golden Circle. There’s more to come, beginning with the titular character in The Mandalorian, which airs on Disney’s new streaming service Disney+ this November. In June next year, Pascal is slated to appear in the next Wonder Woman movie as the villain Maxwell Lord. Clearly, the man’s career has just properly started.

When did you first fall in love with acting?

At a very young age. My father used to take us to the movies three times a week. He’d come home from work and ask if we wanted to go see something, and we would, of course, want to go. I saw First Blood, The Big Chill, and so many other films. There was one summer when my mother would drop me off at the movie theatre as though it was daycare – times were different back then.

I’d watch a few screenings of movies like Poltergeist in one afternoon before she picked me up at six. This exposure to films led to a hobby in acting that my parents were happy I had – at least I wasn’t sitting around watching cable TV all day. It occupied so much of my time and eventually turned into serious training.

Why did you make the shift?

I had to take things more seriously if I wanted to stick with it. It wasn’t just being in love with the idea of appearing in movies and on stage any more – I needed to learn to analyse a story, delve deeper into the various aspects of acting, and learn the technical side of things. What came next was getting jobs to pay the bills. Surviving as an actor, basically.

You took some time to find mainstream success. Did you ever consider quitting?

The confidence definitely fluctuates. I didn’t develop other skills, so my familiar routine was to attend auditions for jobs. One would be enough to pay for rent and food for a while, or I had to wait tables to pay for my expenses. It felt completely desperate because I was really in love with the art of acting and the idea of being a working actor.

But I always got enough work to keep going. I don’t think I would have if I couldn’t get a job in three years or something like that, but such a thing never happened. I would get a role in a tiny little play outside of Boston, or a beer commercial, or an episode of a cop show in the city.

Do you appreciate your popularity more since it came later? How do you think this has influenced the way you approach your status as a celebrity now?

I was definitely more self-assured because my habits and routines were firmly in place and felt more important to me than my newfound success. I know it’s hard for me to describe this, but I just don’t feel famous. That wasn’t part of my development when I was younger, so I came into it “fully cooked”, or maybe even overdone. (laughs) As exciting and as strange as fame can be, it just doesn’t feel as real to me as my relationships, or the fact that my backaches, or how I panic in the morning if I don’t know exactly where I can get my coffee. Those things have much higher stakes to me than the public’s perception of who I am.

Can you identify a reason for your success? Did it make sense for to you when it “arrived”, perhaps because you thought you were becoming a better actor, or was it pure luck?

I oscillate between the two. It can seem totally random, which is terrifying because anything can happen, but the randomness of it all makes a little more sense to me. But I see some clearly predestined circumstances for other people, and you sometimes have these very clear realisations that an opportunity was kept from you a long time ago because it wasn’t the right place or the right time. I guess I probably lean more towards the randomness of it all, or the simple idea that if you keep at the same damn thing, you’re increasing your chances of it succeeding.

And how do you view your breakout role in Game of Thrones now?

It changed my life, but what’s interesting is how all the silly jobs that I’ve had before this one also felt like big breaks. I was a jobbing actor by my late 20s, and I was just as excited with some seventh-tier role on some network television show because it meant that I could pay some bills.

That felt like as big as a win as anything else. It’s the same with theatre. Because it’s so hard to go from the small plays to the medium-sized ones, getting a role in the latter feels like a miracle too. I was close to becoming homeless many times in the past, and was actually staying at an AirBnB before getting the role in Game Of Thrones, so I must really thank the showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss for taking that chance on me.

Has your experience in theatre helped your work in film? How do they compare?

Theatre work is like the building blocks of what I do now. From Shakespeare to something contemporary, and everything in between, I’ve done them all. When you perform the same thing eight times a week, you’re constantly reworking your role to keep it interesting, whether it’s discovering something new or discarding something that exists. It feels like training. The last time I took classes was in college – and that’s something I don’t recommend – but doing theatre work felt like staying in school, which helped. Plus, it provided medical insurance and a weekly paycheck.

Tell us more about the new Mandalorian series.

It’s taking things in a new direction. I think it’s amazing that Lucasfilm is letting Jon Favereau and Dave Felloni take Star Wars into new territories as far as style and tone are concerned, from using practical effects and digital special effects in tandem, to exploring characters out of the familiar Star Wars settings.

They’re also blurring the boundaries between the good guys and the bad guys, and I love the idea of having things in a grey area. We’re dealing with the outer reaches of the galaxy here, which means a lot of ambivalence around what is right and wrong, and the conflict between self-serving and self-sacrificial decisions and actions. It’s all very much a part of the Star Wars story. As for the character, the Mandalorian is a bounty hunter, and people pay him to do jobs. Let’s just leave it at that for now.

Christopher Nolan said he casted Tom Hardy as Bane because of how he acts through his eyes in the mask. What was it like to express everything you needed to in this role with a full-face helmet on?

Much of the work is already taken care of by the writing, which is great, as well as the visual experience that the show provides. But it was still important to me to live in the story as a person who does not show his face, so I worked a lot on the character’s body language. It feels almost like going back to theatre. I think that there’s a lot that can be told with stillness and very economical movements.

I hear that you’re a real movie nerd. Do you have recommendations for fairly unknown directors or movies that we should pay attention to?

I just saw this incredible movie called Monos by Alejandro Landes. It was amazing. And I’ve been floored by [director] Ari Aster. He’s an aesthetician that also brings out great performances, and the films Hereditary and Midsommar blew me away totally. There’s also someone who’s up and coming – Taika Waititi – who made Jojo Rabbit, that’s, in my opinion, the best movie of the year.

Jett's Pedro's Shoots Masterlist

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal shoot #pedro pascal photoshoot #pedro pascal interview #pedro pascal talks #pedro pascal augustman #pedro pascal magazine #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal outtake #pedro pascal behind the scenes #pedropascal #pedro pascal fandom

[thegameartist03]

PIZZA TOWER WERETOON AU PILOT EPISODE AUDITIONS

Hello, Gamma here with an audition offer for a pilot episode I wrote. I've been working on this passion project with a bunch of other people for a little while now, we have a set script at this point so I'm looking to get it dubbed. !!THIS IS AN UNPAID POSITION!! If the dub gets posted, your name will be in the credits! I completely understand if this isn't enough. Everyone is welcome to submit an audition for the characters! Even if you think your voice doesn't fit, try it anyway! Microphone quality will be a factor in who gets a position. You don't have to have a whole expensive setup, but your voice has to at least sound mostly clear. Give it your best shot! The worst that can happen is you don't get the part but you do get some experience! AUDITIONS WILL CLOSE SATURDAY 4/15 Auditions will be open for the foreseeable future! Auditions permanently closed. Thank you to everyone who auditioned

Questions? Shoot me a message on discord (Onyx#6678) or Instagram (thegameartist03)

Details under the cut

Full script (TW FOR BODY HORROR AND GORE) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YSEaLN4Nm2P8_OBTSJo5J6S0XtGAZU4CiLRFklBj6e0/edit?usp=sharing Submit your audition here! https://forms.gle/ETT5WFZWfrvPTPat9

How to Audition

1. Choose a character or characters you want the part for

2. Record yourself reading their lines (marked with “” below the descriptions/requirements)

3. Fill out the above form

4. Wait to hear back!

Characters Gustavo (he/him) Peppino's closest friend, optimistic even in the worst of times, aims to be kind but you'd better not disappoint him. Very fond of Peppino. This is the position with the most lines! If you're not comfortable doing lots of talking, I wouldn't recommend it. Requirements: - Masculine/deep voice - Italian or able to do a convincing Italian accent (annoyed) “Ugh, I hate these Cheesey-Cheese Pizza Company commercials.” “Oh, I love this show! They must have the best animators in the world, the characters look so real!” (comforting) “Come on, migliore amico. Just a few more hours, we’ll manage.” (choked up) “Peppino- Peppino you’re alright! When I saw the blood I thought…”

Virgil (he/him) A goon and wannabe cowboy who's not afraid to get the job done. Fond of Peter. Requirements: - Masculine voice - Able to do a convincing cowboy accent “Should be. His scooter’s still outside. Jee-sus that’s a lot of blood, the h*ll did boss do to ‘im?” “I’ve got a good word from a… reliable source that you boys should just drop this case.”

Peter (any pronouns) A goon and failed artist who acts as the strongman to Virgil's sharpshooting. Still loves to paint. Fond of Virgil. “Ooh, Virgil look, a tip jar!” “Ugh, I just hope we won’t be dealing with all that blood again. My shoes are ruined!”

Mr. Stick (any pronouns) Peppino's strict landlord, mostly bark and no bite. “Ba-ba-ba, I don’t want to hear your excuses, Peppino. Your rent is three months overdue.” “You’d better! Just ‘cause I’ve been nice to you so far doesn’t mean you won’t find an eviction notice taped to your door!”

Freddy (he/him they/them) Part of Peppino's "fanclub", he's in a band. Very energetic. “Eyy, if no one got me I know Peppino the Pizzaman got me!” “It’s true! I have never tasted a better pizza than what I get here. You da bomb Peppino!”

Lisa (she/her) Part of Peppino's "fanclub", she's quiet but likes to participate in her friends' antics. “Ah, you know how it is. The CEO is cool, some of the employees? Not so much. It’s nice that we get a break to go out and eat some real food.”

Rayen (any pronouns) Part of Peppino's "fanclub", she's energetic and usually the one to get the group out of trouble. “Heyyy, Gustavo! Whassup man?” “Oooh, gimme gimme gimme!”

Vinh (he/him) Part of Peppino's "fanclub", he keeps the group grounded and is always finding ways to make his friends laugh. “Woah, careful Freddy! You’re gonna make me fall, man.”

Shouty Lady A semi-frequent customer at Peppino's who loudly complains about her food whenever she eats there. Requirements: - You can scream without blowing out your mic “EXCUSE ME SIR! I ordered a CHEESE PIZZA with EXTRA CHEESE, and I got a CHEESE PIZZA with the REGULAR AMOUNT CHEESE!!” “WHAT KIND OF ESTABLISHMENT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE RUNNING HERE?!”

The Cops Rude, they'll make you want to scream ACAB. Cop 1 “Did you see how freaked out that Gus guy was? Ha!”

Cop 2 “Yeah! And when he, like, full sprinted just to go hug that other dude? Like sheesh, get a room!”

Cop 3 “Ha! I knew he was sketchy! What do you guys think, should we go bag him for insurance fraud?”

Scientist “I just got the results back from CODIS on the blood samples we took, turns out it belongs to the owner of the restaurant.”

Tired Person Are they high or just tired? Who knows. "What."

Voice 1 “Did you see that?”

Voice 2 “Yeah, I think it came from over here!”

#pizza tower #voice acting #voice auditions #pizza tower dub #pizza tower fanfiction #i mean it basically is #script #pilot episode #audition #voice acting opportunity #gamma’s writing

[drfoxweyman]

State of personal affairs (IMPORTANT)

(TL;DR will be towards the bottom for those who don’t wanna read my ramblings, but I’d prefer you did since this is important.) Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing well, I’ll cut to the point by saying that I am not. For the past… We’ll say couple of months I’ve been on something of a mental health spiral, and it hasn’t really gotten any better save for my time at the Con. Which was a nice, but very brief reprieve. The whys of this dip in my well being are pretty varied, and some of it I’m not really able to talk about, whether for personal reasons or respect for others. But to put it broadly, work has been stressful, home has been stressful, my health has been stressful, everything has been stressful, and as it stands I don’t think I can keep up with things right now. So I’m taking a small break from working on commissions, and allowing myself a bit more breathing room when it comes to my streams (which is to say the next few streams may be much smaller scale, more chill chatting streams.)  

Now before any of you who commissioned me recently panic: With my current comms I will still be updating you guys, just at a slower rate than normal, I don’t intend to leave you guys in the lurch. But if by the time I’m done with them I still feel this bad, I probably won’t reopen my queue like I’ve been doing nonstop for the past while now. At least if I can financially help it… Streams like I said are gonna be a bit more lax. I’ll probably finish Pinkie Tower, but after that? I dunno, chatting and maybe some light doodling. Dunno how this will affect Sinner’s Saturday since some kind of income would be nice, but this week we’re definitely doing something different, just have to figure out what.  And yes, I still owe you guys that Discord movie night, we’ll be doing that soon. As for how long this time off is gonna be? No clue, it might only be a few days honestly, but the longest I’m giving myself is two weeks cause I just can’t afford any longer than that. And speaking of “affording”, it’s time for literally my least favourite part of the job. The shilling™️. I probably won’t really be making much if any money during this period, so if you ever wanted to support my work with a nice tip. Now would be the time. You have no idea how much even a small tip of a few dollars can help.https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman I’m not gonna sugar coat this folks. I make peanuts on my work. That’s no one’s fault, it's just the nature of being both a small artist and streamer, it’s something I’ve come to peace with as a fact of my career choices. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stress me out. Part of why I can never usually take breaks at all is because I literally can’t afford to.

I have rent to pay, phone bills, internet, electricity bills, hormone pills, pet expenses including; food, potential vet visits, toys, poo bags, cat litter, etc. I have to have money saved up incase of an emergency whether personal or work related (computer parts need replacing, tablet needs replacing etc), then there's house expenses; food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies; replacing anything we need etc. It’s a lot, even with our packed house.

The only reason I'm able to go to Furnal Equinox or Canfurence is because I start saving up money month after month after month as a treat to myself, and even when there I tend to bring my work so I can get my commission queue done faster and reopen them again as soon as the con is done.

I’ve been told to raise my prices but let’s be honest, I’m not at the level where I can charge hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for pieces, and while this may be a pessimistic view of my work, I probably won’t be able to any time soon. Same with stream goals, I don’t feel like there’s much I can offer right now that would be worth $500 goals or something.

I’d open a merch shop or something but that would be even more stressful upkeep, and again let’s be real. My reach isn’t big enough for that and you can only sell the same merch to the same customer base for so long.

I apologize if it seems like I’m ragging on about the money, but of all the things I’m dealing with it’s the easiest to talk about because it’s something I think at least a few of you can relate to. That and the more personal troubles cut a bit deeper and I’m not sure I even really wanna talk about them because I don’t like dragging you guys down with me. We’ve made an awesome little community and I don’t need to be hurting you with my problems. Is that the healthiest way of looking at it? No probably not but there it is.

Above all that though I just want some more time to myself and the people I care about, not fretting every second that “I could be working” or “I could be monetizing this”, instead of focusing on improving my mental health so I can be a better creator for you guys, and a better person for me. I wanna draw for myself again,even if it’s just low stakes doodles or barely cohesive comic pages, or hell even just to work on my poor draftwomanship .I wanna let myself play some games and not think “Oh I have to stream this”,  every time I do. I wanna be able to go out with my loved ones and not constantly be thinking “WHY AM I NOT WORKING ON COMMISSIONS???”

So TL;DR taking a light break, not sure how long exactly, will keep current customers in the loop, streams aren’t going anywhere but may be a bit different, please tip to the ko-fi so I can stay afloat during this time https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman

For those that read through, thank you so much, it means the world that you care enough about my mental health to drudge through my ravings. You’re truly the best part of this job. A wonderful community that I can just chat and be honest with, I can laugh and joke with you all without fear or anxiety. That’s exceedingly rare these days and I couldn’t be more appreciative of you lot.

That in mind, this took awhile to write, my hands are hurting, and I wanna go lie down, maybe allow myself a good cry. Thanks everyone. <3

- Blaire,“Drfoxweyman” 

#real life #irl #important #text psot #long #rambling #art #artist #streamer #support #kofi #ko fi support #mental health

[boltedfruit]

Employment Struggles

I'm going to do something shocking and use this as an actual blog post.

I am SO sick and tired of applying to jobs, only to be ignored completed, or even worse the interview is scheduled and then the role is filled before I can interview. Today the interview was cancelled a minute before the scheduled time. Then the person who would be interviewing me ignored me on email and phone.

I am mentally exhausted. I am broke all the time. I don't get unemployment because I've never been eligible for it. The only good thing about this is that I have full healthcare coverage and food stamps.

I am a medical assistant with experience, I am a certified professional medical coder with internship experience, I have experience in retail, yet I cannot even get a call back from McDonald's, let alone a good healthcare job.

I've considered becoming a behavioral health tech, but I just truly don't want to be hit/bitten at work. I also couldn't deal with the families of children disagreeing with a preset therapy plan while I'm physically stuck in their home. The other options I was looking at was security, or 911 dispatcher, but dispatch classes are few and far between into next year, and also expensive. And security can be dangerous.

At this point, being 30 and just defeated by how unsuccessful I am in life, I am considering going to a trade school. Like welding. Or automobile tech or something that is actually in demand. There is literally no other options for me and I'm literally five minutes outside of San Francisco. I am mildly considering an IT course, but tech is so unstable and unsafe while also being over saturated right now and I don't trust it. But then, you have to deal with stereotypical personalities in 'conservative' trade jobs too. The other risk is I spend time and money doing a trade school and then no one wants to hire me (like I've done twice now). I don't know what to do.

The trades I'm considering:

Electrician

Welder (part of machinist trade) (honestly this is most appealing to me)

Aircraft Maintenance Technology (Can't hurt with SFO next to me and their planes literally falling to pieces in the sky every week)

HVAC (still don't really understand what this job even is)

The guilt I'm feeling is that I am about to finish my BA in psychology next month, and I'm waiting to hear back from the two colleges I applied to for a Master's to become a therapist. If I get in to my top choice, that's $60k+ I'll need to fund. If I get into the state school, which is slim, that's likely covered by school loans, but I'll still want to make some kind of income for three years I'm in the program. If I don't get into either program, then my last choices are: work while getting med school pre-reqs done, or work while doing an online MFT program (which I really don't want to do an online only program but if it's accredited at the end of the day I don't care.) The online only school would also be $60k+ so I'd need to work regardless.

I'm feeling guilty too because I've never been the fanartist who can drop a new print and have thousands of followers want it. I can't make money that way. Commissions have always been my most lucrative offering as an artist, but it's often mentally very taxing. It's also unstable. I don't have a lot of followers to drum up a successful pays-my-rent-every-month Patreon, and with the way of algorithms and sites are these days, I likely won't ever. I'm not trying to complain for sympathy, but this is just how it's been for me.

I know it's stupid to feel guilty for things like this, but I just am in this nebulous space between being apparently unemployable while also not being unemployable enough to receive livable benefits while continuing job hunting.

So I guess I'm looking for opinions on trade professions. I'm trans, but I pass masc in public save for my voice really. I also am not the kind of person to wear pride pins or color my hair rainbow, which would draw attention that way. I'm not too concerned about mean people in a trade job, because honestly the rudest people I've worked with have been in healthcare anyway. And a trade job would mean no customer service positions/working with my hands, which requires little mental gymnastics.

Also pointless, but true, I keep thinking of Debbie in Shameless getting her welder certification after becoming a teen parent.

I guess the takeaway here is, I'm more willing to be hurt on the job by a machine mistake on my part than I am willing to be hurt by other people assaulting me (very real in healthcare jobs/security) while working.

What do you think?

#I'm sorry if this is coming off whiny but I have no one to talk to about this #so to the tumblr masses it goes

[bmwiid]

Could your roommate at least pay their part of utilities, gas, electricity, internet? Or groceries? Because it is simply not fair otherwise, just mooching. Yes, some people have less money than others, but I had relatives who lived with other people in hard times and they paid for the groceries and electricity (and when they finished university and got a job, slowly paid them back some rent) One even did all of the laundry and cleaning when between jobs because he did not have money but had the time (and needed to be busy, was happiest doing a task)

She had to leave home under bad circumstances and I live on the motto of "you'll never be homeless unless I'm homeless"

We agreed that once she was back on her feet she'd pay rent, and rent would cover everything except food. She can use my car and rent would also cover adding her to my car insurance. I'm not asking for a lot (£250) just enough to cover the fact it's more expensive on bills. I thought that was really reasonable?

However, since then she's had two holidays overseas, bought herself a LOT of things that all add up (I know how much £5 here and £20 there can add up to a lot because I'm super guilty of that!!) and is having her boyfriend visit her for a weekend in town and then he'll be staying here - and she'll be taking the car all that weekend and she didn't even ask if that was okay.

I know I'm not the best person to live with - I'm not the neatest but I hire a cleaner twice a month to off set that (I did this before she moved in, for my mental health) and I have 5 cats which I know is a lot an annoys her, but I feel like what I asked for was reasonable taking those things into account.

And then I feel guilty about asking her for money because she says "I'm so poor and I feel so bad!!" all the time and I KNOW she's struggling!

I just feel like.... I don't know.... A mixture of guilt for feeling annoyed with her, and anger over that feeling of being used?

But I'm also a coward who hates confrontation and I'm used to putting other people first from growing up with mum.

[dayisfading]

okay, this week. good god.

alright, so a little context because i don't really talk much in detail here: just under a year ago i was hired for my first job out of grad school, after looking for almost a year. the role seemed kind of below what i SHOULD be able to do with a master's degree but i was also coming up empty for several months and the role was at a nonprofit doing super important, really interesting things so i was like alright cool.

my job description was vague in part because it was a new role being added to support this huge federally-funded initiative (none of which i knew when i was hired). but pretty soon into it i got an idea of what i'd be doing, mostly working in excel, helping to compile data for analysis, doing some quality assurance work for other departments, and other miscellaneous stuff.

currently, however, i am mostly doing data analysis with the datasets i build/help build, and this data analysis is ongoing as we are working with education data with multiple schools in this initiative. the more time has gone on, the more i have been confused as to actual role delineation in my team, because aside from some specialized skills that each member of my team has and their longer tenure with the organization (literally between 3 and 12 years), we are all doing data analysis, and we currently have multiple data automation projects going on that will ideally eliminate the need for someone in my role who has to export/upload and cobble together data from different sources.

a member of our team is probably going to leave to join, funnily enough, our main partner organization in this initiative because they are hiring a director. this person is trying to use that as leverage to increase their pay and obtain a promotion here, but so far it's been clear that our organization isn't that interesting in promoting them (for reasons unknown to me -- they have an incredible skillset that will be very difficult to replace at nonprofit pay rates). so, they'll probably be leaving within the month.

anyway, they called me today in part to talk about work stuff and then gave me an update on that situation. but in that conversation, they also mentioned to me a conversation they had with our boss that circled back to a member of leadership that basically concerned my pay and my role and basically reiterated the question i have been asking myself for months and stated earlier: why exactly is my role different from the others on my team when we are doing similar work and have the same level of education? i didn't know what the analysts on my team make but i could sort of ballpark it based on what i know about pay for some other roles at the organization, and today in this convo they confirmed that they make around $12k+ more a year than i do. import to note that a few months into my work here the organization rolled out these surveys to assess things like culture, compensation, etc., and now they're beginning to put those findings into action. so compension is a noted Issue across the board, and it seems like from that convo that me getting an equitable raise/potentially promotion should be in the pipeline?

i was literally just crying to my therapist yesterday about how i can't afford rent. like i could probably barely afford a really shitty studio somewhere that i really wouldn't want to live and would probably be harmful to my health. i have some truly exorbitant living costs because my food options are so fucking expensive and i need supplements to function because the things i am prescribed don't work. i told her, like, i am living at home and saving money, but i have no fucking clue what i'm saving that money for. i had a map in my head that went undergrad -> grad school -> full-time job and just naively expected that i would eventually be able to -> move out after acquiring one. and now i can't, so i'm just sorta like. well. fuck is the point of all this.

it was so incredibly meaningful to hear someone not just demonstrate that they are advocating for me but to literally say it, like, say that i am valued, that i am doing good work, that i deserve more, because these are things i am questioning every single day. i am constantly wondering what more i would have to do, if i need to get some sort of data science certificate, or do extra courses in a specific program. and on top of that, my self doubt, social anxiety, and imposter syndrome constantly trying to discern whether or not people like me, or think i'm stupid, or think i'm not working hard enough, completely had me convinced that all those things are probably true even if people aren't saying it or doing anything to suggest it.

i have had more kind things said to/about me in the last week than i feel like i have in the whole duration of this job, to the point that it is almost dizzying. because i was literally talking to my therapist last week about this duality of problems i am currently facing which is that i have school brain, so i don't know how to measure success without a literal letter grade or mark of satisfaction, and in absence of that, i am in utter freefall and convinced that i must be failing.

i need to put this somewhere in part so that i don't forget! my brain is exceptional at holding on to negatives and discarding positives, and i need to get better balancing that.

#lex rambles #job stuff #ok this week has just been so bizarre to me and i gotta get this down just for. recordkeeping purposes

[einprotagonist]

Going abroad...

Earlier, we've talked about how there are several dreams that a person carries, it is highly unlikely you don't have more than one dream. Ofcourse, you can rank them in an order where something is more important while others can be just peripheral options in your opinion.

And this blog is about me trying to go abroad, I'd earlier tried to explore options about how I can go study abroad. When I was in 6-7th standard, I'd talk to random people on internet who were from various different countries and I was fascinated with the lifestyle they had while I was proud of how much academically smarter I was when compared to some of older students too. But I wanted to explore, they had places which weren't awfully crowded and they had public facilities which were far better than ours. Yes, every land has it's own shitty side but I am not the one to dig shit when I'm dreaming.

During intermediate, I came to know about SAT exams which must have costed my dad almost 75% of his monthly salary at the time when he had to pay rents of 2 separate stays - me and family, pay for food and what not. We were basically drowning in loans I think but never restricted ourselves from trying to make life big. I gave the exam without much preparation and scores were a little above the average and were just about enough to secure 60-70% scholarship in a few universities in the USA - turns out that even if we were given a 100% scholarship then also my family wouldn't be able to pay for the cost of me living there. I immediately let the thought and dream pack its bag and leave. LOL.

Then in college times I was getting better at Automobile Engineering and was deeply invested into making a career out of it. Europe was a dreamland for cars and once again I started to check where I would be paying the least for education, be allowed for a part time job to pay my own living expenses during the masters degree and things did not fall into place. This time my university grades were not good enough to breeze me through and then pockets were already empty for this sort of arrangement to go ahead with. Plus there was this notion that I can keep trying after getting into job.

Well, 4 years have passed since I graduated and many things have happened, some may be well versed with all of those things but most will never know the complete details until they read about it here in future.

Now after all these years, and all these experiences... I think I want finally want to move out and make new moves. I've evaluated the current situations, the budget and options that are present in front of me. The decision on where to go has been pretty clear after initial analysis - Canada is the only place which checks all my boxes. My plan is to go for an MBA and find myself a job after completion of the course in order to support my family better while live my best life. That is right, I want this for myself more than anyone else. Which is how most of the dreams are I think, other factors like family or future generations will always benefit from the positive outcome.

So.. yeah I have just finished giving the English proficiency tests and it is still a very long way to go. I'd prefer to get admission into one of the renowned colleges and we will find out more in the aftermath.

#writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writerslife #life #life update #dailyjournal #writers #journal #life stories #memoir #blog

[ludmithjacques]

I’m tired and I’m scared.

I like my job, I enjoy it(as much as one can enjoy toiling endlessly for eight hours towards eternally renewing goals).

But It’s far away, and gas is expensive, and I don’t get paid enough.

I’m part of a union now, because of this job, but the job has been union for a long time, and the pay is still what it is, so the union isn’t doing much as far as my immediate needs are concerned.

I’m going to have to quit and get a different job, a closer job, or one with garbage hours and higher pay and harder work that I will hate inside of a month.

Again.

is this just going to be my life? Working jobs I hate to barely scrape by with rent only to just be... Wasting my time in a chair, too tired to interact with my wife or child in any meaningful way? Destroying my body for pennies?

I’m so fucking tired.

I hate this country, I hate capitalism. hate hate hate

I don’t need to be radicalized by a single event, I am an adult and I have eyes and needs and pains.

I suffer from depression and adhd and maybe even some kind of low-level autism from what tests I’ve taken but medical insurance is so fucking expensive I don’t bother going to a hospital/doctor unless I am in non-joint related agony or actively bleeding from an open wound so I’ll never fucking know now will I?

I can’t afford it. I can’t afford anythign that makes me happy but I buy it anyway and suffer the practical cost of it and I’m so fucking angry and tired and scared that I’m just going to keel over and die one day because I can’t afford to go and questoin something that I should be worried about.

I’m tired of never taking my wife on Dates that are better than ‘grab some fast food and wander through a park and hope some festival we didn’t know about is happening’(which too be fair is something that has happened... often, for us).

I’m tired of never taking my daughter to fun places because they cost a fortune.

I’m tired of looking an HR person in the eyes during an interview and saying ‘Why Yes, getting paid a full ten dollars under what was the living wage two years ago sounds wonderful’ just so I can have money in my pocket.

I’m tired of needing to remember every detail of my life so a government agency can decide if I am despairing hard enough for help.

I’m tired of looking at something new and beautiful and right up my alley and then immediately deciding ‘I don’t really need that’ or ‘boy that’ll be fun to play in six years when it’s popularity has faded enough for it to drop ten dollars in price and maybe go on sale once’.

I’m tired and scared.

I grew up poor without really realizing it because we were lucky to live in my grandpa’s house and he didn’t really charge us more than a very tiny amount in rent just to help with upkeep of the place, and it was in a nice neighborhood so we never looked tv-poor.

I’m a 30 year-old man, married, a father, and I have never lived without aid. I have never even hazarded the thought that I’d be able to live alone, never dared consider the monetary implications of getting a place just for me and my wife that didn’t have at least one other person helping with bills.

I really like my job, I don’t wanna quit.

But this is why I can’t have nice things.

#this isn't me asking for money or hotlines or whatever #just venting i guess #im tired

[areyouafraid]

im really gonna crack up man like im really gonna lose my shit one of these days.

ive sent application after application to all these different dumps for the last 3 months and none of them have come back. none of them pay more than maybe 15 an hour at best. and this fucking freelance thing i just tried to look into to at least supplement me with a form of income while i look for a job is a total shitshoot its garbage i flat out dont even know if i can do it. im 19 right now im lucky im not like fucking paying rent or anything. but i sure will have to eventually! it's bad enough i feel like a fuckup who can't keep a job after i got fired from my last dump but like. only so much time

virtually all of my family and friends age 20 - 30 live in fucking dumpy little tenement apartments and those are the ones who can even get places of their own. dont know if i even know anyone who makes more than like maybe 30K a year. and i think we're still the lucky ones. my parents got a 3 bedroom house back in 2001 and i live with them. but i cant live here forever, like financially socially emotionally thats just not... feasible for me. i think they said a little over 11% of americans live under the poverty line? and then there's a study that says america has the worst poverty rate out of 26 "developed" nations. this country is a fucking sick little joke. an empire built off of genocide that brutalizes the rest of the world while its citizens rot in the streets. a twisting labyrinth of dead-end jobs and unwalkable cities with nothing to do but toil and die. what is new york city if not a giant factory town? and this does not even cover one one-eighth of what is wrong with this stupid shitshow of a country

and whatever i know i should just be grateful for what i have (what do i have?) and i know it's a common sentiment among poor / impoverished people to be like well you just need to hustle harder well this is just how it is etc etc but like just what an absurd fucking way to think like you guys are fucking high. people shouldn't live like this. people can't live like this. it's not sustainable. it's not realistic. we have to have a right to shelter and food and literally at the bare minimum to fucking survive like... i mean for fuck's sake there are wild dogs who live in tiny rock dens smeared with their own shit and blood who still have a better quality of life than human beings in our beautiful utopian capitalist society. at least ants and wolves look out for each other. what happens when you fall sick or become homeless in america? what happens if you don't have enough money in america?

with every new day i feel more and more like anything resembling a fulfilling life is just not possible here. i don't know where else i would go. i know travel is expensive. idk i just like. i know this is my home and it does feel like a cop-out but i can't live like this. nobody can live like this. fuuuuck this. honest to christ even if north korea was actually one quarter as bad as US propaganda says it is that would be better than this. at least under the Cold Cruel Hand of Communism i'd have something to fall back on. i'd be insured and have a place to live. what do we have in capitalist america? a weak nod of acknowledgement? and you know what my least favorite part of "patriotic" american bullshit is? if this is really the "best country on earth" we might as well just start organizing mass suicides.

and now with senile old fuck biden regurgitating israeli propaganda and encouraging the senseless murder of palestinians i just think. and this is the guy democrats wanted. this is the guy that republicans were shitting themselves over telling themselves he'd turn america communist or whatever. god if youre still even taking calls from this fucking tragedy of a planet i hope some sort of incurable and highly infectious plague breaks out inside the white house and all of those stupid fucks end up with abscesses forming inside their brains. it might not fix anything but it'd take some of those perverted vultures off the face of the earth so it'd be a nice pick-me-up at least. UGHHHHHHHHHH

#my posts