#not bc i check my phone often. im not that kinda person. it's bc i am VERY easily distracted

[streaming-yn]

Hi, its Grim anon! I was wondering if I could request a platonic bench trio with y/n (she/her) who is very open about her affection for the three (constantly complimenting them, saying ily, etc.), but lately she's been worried that people will take it the wrong way so she's stopped? And now they're like. Where's my Y/N validation? :(

yep yep!! here you go, grim anon! ^^ sorry if I got a bit off track? I'm not sure if I did or not!

platonic!BenchTrio x affectionate!y/n

pronouns: she/her

other information on the reader:

. minor

. very open with her affection

. minecraft streamer

. faceless streamer

. it's against her boundaries for anyone other than friends to use her real name

warnings: sexism/misogyny (ends well, the haters are addressed), idk but the "girl near streamer I like? ew wtf 😒" type of hate (also gets addressed n shut down), little angst, distancing yourself from friends, trying to change yourself, cussing, mention of "weird comments" made towards y/n *ALL OF THESE ISSUES ARE ADDRESSED AND SHUT DOWN THOUGH !!!

form: headcanons

summary: y/n is super openly affectionate with all of her friends! unfortunately, a lot of people think that's a negative thing, though Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo notice y/n's change and get to the bottom of it to fix the issue ^^

genre: platonic, little angst, fluff(?) after it gets found out, hurt to comfort type of deal ^^

abbreviations: s/n -> streamer name, y/n -> your name

note: I'm not very good at angst yet so I'm sorry if it kinda sucks !! :(

you were very in touch with your loving side and showed all your friends affection very openly and however you could

unfortunately, since y'all didn't live near each other that meant that you had to wait for visits for like hugs n stuff :(

at first you didn't think much of it, affection was a normal thing between friends, why do it differently on stream?

you would often tell the boys how much you loved them and we're genuinely happy and grateful that y'all were friends

complements and validation paired with this, naturally

the boys looked forward to streams with you, not only because you where best friends but for the serotonin that your affection brought :D

actually!! on streams with all of you together, it wouldn't be uncommon for tommy, tubbo, and ranboo to playfully fight over your affection

it would be in different ways though, like with Tommy, you would complement either ranboo or tubbo and if you didn't state a name tommy would be like "THAT WAS MENT FOR ME, (TUBBO/RANBOO)" after they thanked you

meanwhile tubbo would either go on about betrayal and how you didn't love him anymore and he's going to run away or he would do something along the lines of ":(( what about meee"

and ranboo, if the compliment wasn't aimed at him, even if you clearly added tommy or tubbo's name at the end, would always reply "thank you" or something similar

however it's different if the compliment is directed at them!

ranboo would thank you, do a small laugh that's half flustered half awkward, and then complement you back (he got less awkward and flustered as he got more used to it though!)

you could hear the smile in tubbo's voice as he loudly thanks you and gives you like 3 compliments in return

tommy, it would depend if either of y'all are streaming or not! yes? "I know" all jokingly cocky like. no? "thank you, I guess" he says it as a half joke, it's a genuine thank you, but he likes keeping it playful so the "I guess" is thrown on, it's random if he gives you a complement back or not, it's literally not even dependant on how he feels, it just at random

also I feel like you and Tommy would have like a "ily!! /p" "ew /j" bit, very often I will add 👍

like while your streaming you like "tommy!! I love you, thank you for being my friend :)" and him, completely disregarding the last bit, would reply "EWW, Y/N YOU DO KNOW IM I MINOR CORRECT??"

if him ever saying ew hurts your feelings then he won't say it, however he will say the rest, unless him deflecting your "ily" makes you feel bad as well, it's fairly easy to crack him to say it back since you're best friends

a lot of back and forth, but not too hard since he never wants to genuinely hurt you

ALSO if you complement him (on stream ofc) he will find a way to turn it around, not onto you, but just turning into something too tame to be labeled and insult but definitely something close!

"I like your sunglasses!!" "oH??? SO YOU DONT LIKE MY EYES??? THANKS S/N"

(also feel like tubbo might do this)

ofc would stop if it makes you sad/uncomfortable/etc

with ranboo though, he might occasionally do that, but it's way more often for you two to get into complementing matches (just going back and forth with complements)

you also sometimes do the "ily more" thing, just because it's funny bc it's like a cringe romance movie thing, y'all never do it on stream though because ppl might make it weird, and some friend quirks are better kept private anyway, just a you two thing :)

occasionally the "no you hang up first" too, except you both play they teen girl waving her hand and saying it the most high pitched voice she can. it's so funny hearing ranboo going so high 💀💀

as a rising streamer, of course you have Twitter, and your subtwt isn't toxic – due to your personality and stuff, the people you attract to your content are all pretty loving and chill! ofc there's a few bad eggs, but that's just what happens, you choose to ignore those few

but since you've gotten more popular, people finding you through your more popular friends, you've seen a rise of tweets mentioning you, whether it be in general or in the boy's replies

you're glad to be getting more popular, now you can find more people who seek comfort from your content, which was your goal when you started anyway! so it's all exciting! ..at first.

rise in people means rise of people in the toxic 1%, and also means rise of haters or people who just don't like you

sometimes you come across tweets like "why does y/n feel the need to be around ranboo, tubbo, and tommy? leave them alone ffs, she got her fame she wanted, she can leave now 🙄✋" and "we get it, girl streamers are less talented so you needed to leech off they boys' talent! like is she done yet or??" or occasional tweets saying something about shipping – which is against not only your boundaries but all of they boys' as well.

the replies being full of "use s/n, using her real name is breaking her boundaries! and if you have an issue, then don't watch the streams she's in, dickhead!", "you could just mute her name on here and not follow her twitch, you're being overdramatic for no reason", "hey hey, remember that s/n checks her indirects", "ew, deactivate", "aw, are you scared bc a girl is better than you at gaming? aw you gonna cry??", etc, makes you feel a bit better, but the punch from the original tweet lingers

after seeing a bit more, you saw the majority of the haters – and weird people – you saw the root of it was probably because you were so affectionate towards you friends and just being around them in general

so, it'd be best to stop, right? don't participate in as many streams, stop being so affectionate in general, to be honest you were already quite anxious that you being so "clingy" was annoying, the hate just solidified it

so you have a plan in line, the hard part is executing it :(

to start, you stopped complimenting them as much on stream, and the late phone calls lessened, and those became more and more noticeable before you "got too busy" to be in as many streams as you used to

I feel like ranboo would notice first and try talking to you before bringing it up to tommy and tubbo, but when you replied "oh! yeah I'm good dw :)" he knew it was a lie and went to the others

"what do you think is going on?" "I'm not sure" "whatever it is, do you think this is why she stopped being so affectionate? I miss it"

then it clicked for tommy while ranboo and tubbo still tried to figure it out

"do you think it's family problems?" "no, last time they has family problems they became more clingy and their phone calls were more frequent, not-" "wait wait wait"

tommy checked your social media platforms, of course they had more followers than before

"what? tommy?" "I think it's more of an online hate problem" tommy leaned back in his chair, running his hands over his face before looking over at the discord call as the two others made sounds of shock, "yeah, this started after her platform got bigger and she got more well known" "..you're right" "how- how do we fix it?" "address it on a stream?" "no, no, not yet, I think we should contact y/n first, see if she'll tell us if we're right or not" "I could try? last time I texted her she responded pretty quickly so maybe that still applies?" "yeah, tell us if we're right or not and we'll continue from there"

so ranboo texted you, making sure to form the text to get to the point but not scare you, he knows how anxiety inducing confrontation, especially from friends, can be for you

you didn't know exactly how to respond, would it be better if you lied? or would the truth be better?

after a few times of the "..." appearing and disappearing on ranboo's screen before you message of ",, yeah, that is the reason actually ;; I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I thought it'd be better to just distance myself :(" sent through

the boys on call could hear the frown in ranboo's voice when he sighed and said "oh" "were we right?" "just a second"

ranboo replied to you, reassuring you that you don't don't have to apologize for not telling them and it isn't your fault, making sure to remind you that you can come to either him, tommy, or tubbo whenever you want

"yeah, she got hate, and I guarantee that if we go through her indirects then we'll see what exactly happened, we may have to scroll a bit though" so they searched around on Twitter and found some, then tubbo spoke "do you think she would want to join call so we can figure out what to do to fix this?" "I can text her, though maybe we can more of distract and comfort her tonight? we can talk about the hate and stuff another time" "yeah yeah, I think that's a good idea"

so he texted you to see if you'd like to join the call, you accepted and ended up playing video games with them – mainly Minecraft servers – for a few hours before tommy had you and ranboo (assuming you're in the US or close) sign off to get some sleep (if you're in the UK or close, he had you and tubbo sign off and then signed off himself for some sleep)

the next day you guys hopped back on call to discuss how you guys would fix it, as well as them giving a bunch of positive comments about your affection :)

you guys decided on a serious stream from Tommy's account, it was either tommy or ranboo's account, but you guys chose tommy bc he's not anxious about turning off donos and other things

you guys discussed that the hate you were getting was uncalled for, and the weird comments were to be stopped immediately.

"I think that's everything? y/n, anything else?" "yeah I think that's about it, thank you guys so much!!" "alright, one more thing before we go- chat- chat, if you have an issue with y/n being in our streams just don't watch our streams! if you don't like y/n we don't want you here" "tommyyyy :(( (/pos)" "wait wait!! chat, if anyone asks or is being rude either spread clips on the stream or screenshots of the tweets we posted!! we want to make sure that everyone – even those not watching the stream – are informed!" "alright, bye chat, I better not see any more y/n negativity!!"

there wasn't negativity in chat when you went to check btw :)! it was in emote-only bc they thought it'd be the best thing to do and most of the chat was filled with hearts and other positive emotes! <33

now whenever hate stuff it posted the replies have screenshots of either tommy, tubbo, or ranboo's tweets, links to the VOD, or clips, stating the most important and the tweet is usually taken down within a matter of hours – days sometimes

and after that everything was back to normal!! you started complimenting them again, telling them how much you love them again, etc etc! you even got back into late calls :)

#angst with a happy ending #streamer!y/n #streamer!reader #mcyt x reader #streamer!au #fanfic #headcanon #headcanons #platonic fanfic #platonic tommyinnit x reader #platonic tommy x reader #platonic!reader #platonic x reader #platonic #platonic ranboo x reader #platonic tubbo x reader #tubbo x reader #ranboo x reader #tommy x reader #dsmp x reader #affectionate!reader #affectionate!y/n #affectionate! reader #affectionate! y/n #angst with comfort #comfort #angst #grim anon #requested #asked and answered

[hufflautia]

Different Love Languages

✨COMMENTS+REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED✨  They motivate me and make me supes happy, so please pretty please reblog and/or comment!! It doesnt even have to be a coherent comment, keysmash if you must! ok fanks go read now and enjoy <3

Summary: Hufflepuff is the type of person to express her love verbally but Slytherin is different; he hardly says “I love you” and Hufflepuff worries that maybe it’s because he doesn’t love her as much as she loves him. Our darling puff will realize that this is simply not the case. People just have different love languages. 

Hufflepuff loved Slytherin. She really did. In fact, she reminded him frequently. 

“I love you,” she chortled during breakfast when Slytherin had cast a spell to make the bacon strips float around in a dancing manner so that she would cheer up after reading depressing news from the Daily Prophet. Another time, she cooed the term of endearment as he held her tightly in his arms, swaying to the sound of music in the background. 

The thing was that Slytherin rarely said “I love you” in the entirety of their relationship. Instead of saying it back to her, he often replied by cupping her cheeks tenderly and leaning in for another kiss. Other times, he responded with a loving smile, his eyes glowing with warmth and infatuation.

It’s not that Hufflepuff thought Slytherin didn’t love her. She could definitely see it in the way that he looked at her, in those stolen glances when he thought she wasn’t looking. She could feel it when he held her close at night, his arms wrapped protectively around her. 

However, a part of her- the small shadow of doubt within her heart that told her that Slytherin didn’t care for her as much as she did for him- just wished for some kind of affirmation, a clear signal that said, “I love you.” 

One day, Hufflepuff and Slytherin sat side by side in Potions class, listening to Professor Slughorn drone on and on about Felix Felicis. She was absentmindedly staring at the board when Slytherin slid his notes in front of her so that she could see the doodle he drew on the side of his paper. 

*Credit: Beastflaps*  

Hufflepuff bit her lip to suppress a laugh and squeezed his hand 3 times.  

Unfamiliar with the motion, Slytherin asked what the squeezes meant.

“It means I love you,” she whispered. Her voice was soft so that Professor Slughorn didn’t overhear their conversation.  

Nevertheless, Slytherin heard every word. A smile tugged at his lips and he immediately squeezed it back. He didn’t just stop there; he repeated the gesture about 6 times- and Potions class hadn’t even ended yet. 

From that day forward, Slytherin constantly told her I love you. Sometimes he squeezed her hand randomly- before he left for Quidditch practice, during breakfast when she passed him a plate of toast, and after he walked her back to the dormitory. 

Aside from that, he would occasionally tap out the gesture with his finger. 

Tap tap tap. 

Hufflepuff looked up from her book and made eye contact with Slytherin from across the room. She knew what it meant. She always did. 

Slytherin said I love you all the time now, more often than Hufflepuff’s verbal “I love you”. 

She realized that he had a different love language from her, and that was ok. It was the love itself that mattered. 

On their wedding day, as the officiant performed the ceremony, Hufflepuff looked up at Slytherin with adoration. “I love you,” she whispered. 

He smiled warmly at her and squeezed her hand four times. 

I love you too. 

~

Based on a true story! If you can’t see the link that I attached, here it is: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/ahb1c1/sometimes_i_forget_my_husband_has_a_different/ 

MASTERLIST ~(˘▾˘~) (click my profile to see the pinned post, aka my masterlist, if you cant see the link) 

Author’s note: YAYAY HI!!! DID YOU LIKE THAT?? 

probably yall @ me rn lmaoaoao

You might be wondering why i wrote this one-shot. There was no special occasion this time, I just got a bonk of inspiration one day. also i felt bad for reblogging my ice skating oneshot so much (i did it to respond to other peoples reblogs) and i sent an ask to my favorite fanfic writer, asking her about what happens if i reblog my own work and if it pushes my fanfic up the algorithm, and she answered my question but also said that she usually deletes her reblogs bc her followers would probably get annoyed if they kept seeing the same work over and over again. i felt bad bc i had just done that, and i didnt want yall to constantly see the same fanfic all the time, so i wanted to give u something new. also i was thinking back on that person who said that my writing was sporadic (they werent trying to be mean). Sporadic basically means spaced out and occuring at different intervals. i felt bad bc my writing is definitely spread out by one month for some reason. im not sure what this means for next month bc i never write 2 fanfics in one month. does this mean that i wont write a fanfic for november? hopefully not. ok that sounds sad, im sure it doesnt but who knows bc the college process thingies is killing me 

I wrote out the general details of the story at 1 am one night when i was trying to sleep lmaoao heres a screenshot: 

This is basically how I write for most of my fanfics at first, it consists of the general info along with some specific details.

At first, the one-shot was gonna be a drabble (aka a story that’s only 100 words long) but when I finished writing it, I went to wordcounter to check the number of words and it was 500! i was like oop ok im just gonna call it a oneshot then. i wrote part of the story on sunday morning and then i went to exercise in the park with my sister. afterwards, i wanted to keep working on it but then i became swamped with college stuff so i stopped. i started writing again today (its monday, but im posting it on tuesday, aka today for you- or maybe not if ur not reading this on the day that i posted it) and i surprisingly finished- but that was probably a bad idea to be writing the oneshot during this week because i have a lot of exams, but lets look at the bright side, i finished the story!

I didn’t think of the idea completely on my own. I actually read the reddit story (found it in a thread on insta) a few years ago, and I don’t know why but I was thinking about it that night and I decided to make a one-shot out of it! Isn’t it such a sweet story (the actual story, not this)?? It would be kinda nice if I reached out to the person and said, hey i wrote a story based on you and ur husband! 

Anyways, I just made a meme: 

i didnt actually get up, i just opened the notes app on my phone in the dark and wrote the details down. 

this isn’t related but i made a meme about the ice skating oneshot:

I’m gonna cut the authors note short (i usually write a lot. its funny when u go back and see my authors note in chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series, bc its so so short. wowza, times have rlly changed!) bc i think i have at least 2 exams tomorrow. this is gonna be me when i post this one-shot in the morning: 

bc i have to wake up early and i am most definitely not a morning person:/ OH GOD OK I HAVE TO STUDY NOW- 

Love you all, thank you for reading! TOODELOOOOOOO

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list!

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@mttviolet @wordowords @foxieberry @prince-of-thedarkness @wwebeckyfan @sunshinyyb @kindawannadietbh @ajdqueen  @boilyourteeth @mouthfacereborn @idrawandthatsaboutit  @trentalexanders @i-love-books-and-kpop @skylee-skz @turbulentbluebird5 @there-is-no-punch-line @nowheredreamer @vulnerabilizaste @i-cannot-do-aesthetics @i-miukimiuki @https28 @accio-dopamine @jewish-lesbo119 @pinqgchuu @hmilkwhoney @kaffiny72 @bojelina @fixstationed @bibearwannabe @chasingjacksonpotter @nikkijovanic  @neonuzumaki @slytherbullshit @kendall-engel @stressy-depressy @acciocrzychick @flower-child-bitch @strawberrypanda99  @n3rdywu1f @ihavenocontrolofmylifeeither  @zuko28 @tarot6467 @firewhisky-kisses @hufflepuffgirly @slytherpuffbaby @misssunflowersandsangria @velvetstrawberry @the-darling-badger @cottagecoreslytherin  @jpow345 @jess-harrywars @sirenofthe7seas @unknownbitchsthings @ganjeolhiddaeng @pinksmol @evolnura @pink1babez @hufflepuffwritess @simpforkpop @auburn-rachel @johannamariemst @deathandblue @blazeuzu23 @iamahufflepuff @ana-bolism97 @joyfulcollectordreamlandme-blog @happy-puff @toomanybandstocare @megand2017 @inkedintothepaper @natyukie-blog @tonythestank @plantelacasiopea @poony-madfoot @paradoxglacier @emmaa-t @truly-insatiable @pancakelover @lauxtbs @verifiefangirl-mainblog @i-have-a-bad-feeling @accio-incorrect-quotes @lacuna-bumble @lady-snow-white1 @schlongbottom @colettedelaurel @rayanicaraynbow @duskmemo @sweetinvisiblewriter @galaxythreads  @xi-fan @lucia5 @thesarahcat @poojxshxh @coldsweetharmony  @chunwest @absentmindeduniverse @wornoutexcuses @ki-kaii @bohemian-oddity @princessstoopid @uhhhem @lewispoolerpayton @swagangelhorsepickle @starrysonic @malfoys-demigod @incorrigible-romantic @sleepdeprivedgurl @dont-hyuck @badb0y-malf0y @thatonebislytherin  @1d-killed-me @kaslec  @kodeinekissss @uwuplsh  @worldsbestdilfbecky @lupins-cardigan @zuzxbby @harrypotterimagines @oliverwoodsismybf @seviravir @much-cute-dolls-uwu @sara-is-boredd @sakura96bella @autumnpleaves @bloodyxheaven  @gay-disaster826 @xxkitsurikaxx @light-in-mygalaxy @in-love-with-remus-lupin @xo-angel-ox @selenapotter-blog @wolfpack-arts-industries99 

#Hogwarts #harry potter #slytherpuff #hufflepuff x slytherin #hufflepuff and slytherin relationship #hufflepuff #slytherin #hogwarts imagine #hogwarts houses #hogwarts would include #harry potter would include #slytherin x hufflepuff #ravenclaw #gryffindor #hufflepuff-x-slytherin #slytherin-x-hufflepuff #slytherin and hufflepuff #slytherin friendship #hufflepuff friendship #cedric diggory #hufflepuff pride #dracomalfoy #slowburn #hogwarts fanfiction #harry potter oneshot #slytherpuff au #slytherpuff oneshot #slytherin and hufflepuff relationship #slytherpuff friendship #slytherin and hufflepuff friendship

[trivia-bangtan]

after (jjk) - 005

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: this chapter gets extremely dark 😭 (nothing new lol)

authors note: omfg im so sorry it’s taken me so long to post 😩 the schedule might change from now on bc my schedule changed 😅 but hope u guys enjoy it 😩😩

there's a phobia called agoraphobia. it’s basically the fear of places and situations that can cause panic, helplessness and/or embarrassment. usually, i can deal with it. but things like cringe worthy scenes and overly cheesy romance is unavoidable.

especially being friends with jeon jungkook.

i knew better than to hand out my phone number to just anyone, but i thought maybe jungkook would be so busy with his own life, he would leave me alone.

for his parents' sake, i hope he had unlimited talk and text for his plan. the boy texted me first thing in the morning and every hour or so. he would call me at night, sometimes even facetime me, just before he went to bed. and even when we would hang up, he would still text me goodnight.

the only other person i would talk to everyday, other than my parents, is hoseok. hoseok was my older cousin, but one of my closest friends as well. but even hoseok gave a break during the day to allow some “me time” for the both of us.

jungkook was relentless. he would always text me “good morning sunshine” and then text me “good night my moon”. what the hell even was that?

as much as it was annoying, it was endearing in a sense. i guess it was nice to have someone other than family constantly checking up on me. but some part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what namjoon had said and if he felt obligated to have to talk to me.

i knew jungkook wasn’t like that. but a small part of me couldn’t help but convince myself that it could be true.

“so the guy texts you all the time? it’s not a big deal,” hoseok said, sitting across the island in his kitchen. i stuck my fork into my bowl of fruit, impaling a small blueberry in the process.

“i mean, it’s not but it’s weird. hobi, i’ve never had someone crave to talk to me so often. and i swear it has to be because of what our counselor said,” i mumble.

the thing about hoseok is he has an aura that gets you to spill all emotions. much like jungkook. but the difference between the two of them in my life is that i’ve known hoseok a lot longer and can confirm he can keep his mouth shut.

“well contrary to your belief, you’re a decent person to have around,” he shrugs, giving a strawberry in his mouth. i snort at his comment and roll my eyes.

“wow, what a compliment. it’s a wonder you’re single,” i chuckle, shoveling the fork full of blueberries into my mouth.

“i’m single by choice. what about you?” hoseok smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” i asked, laughing at his expression.

“what?”

“the whole thing?” i respond, laying my fork down onto the counter, leaning onto it with my elbows, forearms flat as i folded my hands.

“i’m single because i choose to be. i prefer comforting solitude than forced company,” he shrugs, continuing to shovel fruit into his mouth.

“forced company?” i ask.

“yeah. like, just because we’re together, they feel obligated to HAVE to hang out with me or invite me everywhere when, in reality, i don’t give a damn. i mean, you know me. we both value our solitude and respect that. but it’s hard to find someone that understands that. and then i’m the bad guy for wanting alone time when really, it’s a mental health break,” hoseok explains, his eyes locked onto the bowl in front of him.

his statement surprised me. he was always such a people oriented person. as kids, he was the first to make friends between us and always such an extrovert. it kind of hurt to know eventually his whole personality switched. but maybe being so wrapped up in my world and in my own issues, i failed to acknowledge the people around me.

the atmosphere changed after that. almost as if there was a sad reminisce in the air.

“do you think you’re forced to keep me company?” i blurted. i couldn’t deny, the thought crossed my mind multiple times before. was everyone around me just babysitting to make sure i didn’t hurt myself?

i couldn’t tell. i knew asking would be dumb. hoseok would never tell me the truth. he’s usually a pretty blunt and up front guy, but he would never outright hurt my feelings. which saddened me even more. would he willingly lie to comfort me? knowing what i knew?

“do you think i am?”

“yeah,” i honestly admitted. we both sat in silence, taking in my answer.

it wasn’t a lie. like i said, the thought had crossed my mind. every time he placed his phone down on the table to force himself to give me his attention. the way he seemingly dropped everything immediately if i asked him to hang out with me or pick me up some place. how i never heard of him being with friends.

the more i sat there, the more i threw myself into overdrive, thinking until my head started to pound from overthinking.

“well, you’re wrong,” he sighed. my eyes flitted up to gaze at his face. he looked sullen, almost like my answer had upset him. i released a silent huff through my nose, smirking in the process.

“you don’t have to protect me,” i murmured quietly.

“my mom called me. she begged me to come home one day. i didn’t understand it at first, but she's my mom. i did as i was told. when i got home, she didn’t say anything, just told me to get in the car. i remember thinking to myself ‘what’s got her feeling this way? why is she being ominous with her actions?’ the whole drive, she said nothing,” hoseok said, a distant look in his eyes.

“she ended up pulling over at some park. it was late, so i didn’t recognize it at first. but then i realized what park it was. it was the park we went to as kids. and, again, i kept wondering to myself why she was being enigmatic with her actions. and then she spoke. she said six words and then didn’t speak the rest of the week,” he said, his voice shaken with sadness.

“what did she say?” i asked softly, my voice a mere whisper. hoseok looked up at me, his eyes glazed red.

“your cousin tried to kill herself.”

i felt like the air had come out of my lungs.

it’s funny, people like to talk about your attempts, but nobody ever tells you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. nobody tells you the pain they feel or the hurt. the anger or the betrayal. they pretend like what they felt didn’t happen to convince themselves it wasn’t real and they could move on. because it didn’t work and you’re alive.

but hearing hoseok tell me about his experience, it stirred something in my heart and i hadn’t felt in a long time.

regret.

“she didn’t even mention if you survived or if you were okay. that’s all she said. and because she was crying, i assumed the worst. i had assumed you died. and it felt like everything in me… stopped working. like, i forgot what it was like to not have you by my side. every… every memory, every laugh. every inside joke. it was like a corny ass film playing at 2x speed in front of me. my mind kept telling itself this can’t be real. she wouldn’t do that to me’. but the longer we sat there and the harder she cried, i couldn’t take it. i jumped out of the car and just started running. i didn’t know where i was going but i just had to run because the car was so suffocating, i thought i was gonna pass out. and i kept asking myself ‘why her? why couldn’t she just talk to me? why didn’t she tell me she was hurting? does she know how much i love her and that i would do anything to keep her here?’ and then i was pissed because i thought you had abandoned me. that you didn’t care about me or your parents or my mom. but then… once i stopped running… i felt bad for you. because i could never imagine the amount of loneliness you must’ve felt thinking the only way to solve this was to end it all,” he said through his compendious recount of that night. i could feel the hurt and regret make its rounds in my heart, forcing my body to follow. it physically ached to hear hobi recall every moment of that night. “i’m sorry,” i cried out, crying into my hands.

“that’s why i hang out with you. that’s why i talk to you. because i don’t want you to feel that kind of loneliness ever again,” he admitted, sniffling. the hurt and regret only further festered and made me cry over hard to the point where i felt like i couldn’t breathe. hoseok stood from his spot, making his way around the island. he stood in front of me, pulling me into his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. i hadn’t hugged anyone in years, and the amount of care and love hoseok had emitted through his hug made me cry even more.

“and that’s why i’m so glad you have jungkook. because when i can’t be there, at least he is,” he explained, rubbing small circles in my back.

though my doubt was still heavy, and i felt as if he had an ulterior motive, hoseok’s words comforted me in a way.

jungkook had been nothing but kind, never intrusive or inquisitive about my history or my feelings. he spoke to me because he wanted me to know that he cared.

and for the first time in forever, i felt something else too.

hope.

#bts #kpop #bts jungkook #jungkook #bts angst #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #bts jeon jungkook #bts scenarios #jeon jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook

[aquathelita]

Alrighty, we have chronic procrsstinate syndrome so im gonna bite the bullet. This is gonna be more of a ramble than anything bc its 2:30 am and im an adult and its my blog and i do what i want.

For those who dont know, we are plural. The person you know as "aqua" is like, one of now 50 mfs in this brain (and in particular is the mf writing this), and this blog is connected to an old email and we dont have the log-in info for it anymore. The last time i had a tumblr blog and didnt have the log in info i Could Not get it back

So basically we are going to more or less jump ship and make a new blog connected to our system email and also following a more diverse set of accounts, and hopefully we will actually properly tag things we reblog.

Realistically we are going to procrastinate this. We dont even really use tumblr that often anymore (and can probably save some phone space by deleting the app and moving to desktop). Its mostly just for like 10-minute spurts. So like, our new blog will probably happen....eventually in 2022. We wont deactivate this old blog, just kinda....slowly start transitioning over to the new one until this one becomes obsolete and collects dust.

So those of you who are following this account because you know/knew me personally, thank you very much for being here for me (aqua) during some of the toughest years of my singlet life. We will probably be following you on our new account (our system name is Sky Squad so we are going to be snagging a relevant url). We will make a post with the new url when the blog is made so anyone who cares can follow us.

For those of you who dont know or care who i am, thats fine. Hello! Its very nice that you liked my "content" enough to follow me. I probably dont know you, but maybe we will follow you anyway if you interact with this post

If youre wonndering whats a plurality, check out http://www.morethanone.info . It is very brief and helpful.

Anyway thats all. I guess i'll see you guys...whenever. bye.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

[hajimine]

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

#💬 #bye this took me so long #the biggest kithes for u all mwa

[livedsomanylives]

I was tagged by @rvspberryjvm !! Thank you so much 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟💘💘💘

1. why did you choose your URL?

it's a line from a NIN song, 'I do not want this' that got stuck in my mind long ago. It says 'I've lived so many lives. All in my head' and the moment i heard it I thought yes. Sums me up and my inability to do reality pretty well.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

yep. a few. i've got @withoneheadlight, where i spend most my time here, in my beloved harringrove fandom <3, and then i have a few where i basically save things that interest me in different categories.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

uh, technically a few years?. I've had a few different accounts that I always ended up forgetting about. But had never really used tumblr until this past last year and a half.

4. do you have a queue tag?

I use the most simplistic 'queue' ... when I remember to put it on XD (which, I should, because I'm always so worried people think I'm in here ignoring them when in reality what I usually have is the longest queue)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

this one used to be my inspiration sterek blog for a fic I was writing at that time (4 years ago?) so there's basically all sterek at the bottom. but now I have @ivoryhead for that and this one has become my personal blog, since is my main.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because billy hargrove in profile + light blue + a distant, cool sun? one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen. also, it has some sort of melancholy that just, gets to me.

7. why did you choose your header?

because that's Cannon Beach, where a few scenes from the goonies were filmed, and where are the rocks carved into the doubloon. I always end up mixing the goonies in everything I do because gosh, I'd live in the feeling of that movie if I could choose. 80s kids + pirate stories. doesn't get better than that for me.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

oh, i dunno? probably is this dumb star wars/stormpilot comment xD

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I honestly don't know, but they all are amazing mutuals <3

10. how many followers do you have?

tbh i really like how tumblr doesn't show the follower count? i LOVE the ones i have (hiiiiiiiiiii!!! 😘😘😘) and it's always 🎉🎉🌟🌟🌟🎉🎉🎉 getting new followers but i still think is better that is hidden, for many different reasons.

11. how many people do you follow?

about 1000? Im just too lazy to go through my big-ass list and unfollow watever is inactive xD

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

if saying the first stupid thing that comes to my head in here is considered a shit post, then t o o m a n y.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I love to check it bc is kinda like hanging around with all of you 🎉🎉 but I've been trying to reduce the number of times i do it bc i get eaaaaaasily distracted and also, neck pain ugh. phone bad BAD!

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

nope. never. sometimes i want to leave my opinion in some posts, but i still feel pretty insecure about the language, so i'm perpetually afraid of being misunderstood

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts

the ones with something good/bad is gonna happen if you don't reblog? i usually scream internally while i fast-scroll past them while both feeling like bwahhahaha! and scared shitless.

16. do you like tag games?

oh i LOVE tag games.

17. do you like ask games?

very very much. even if sometimes i repent bc it's hard for me to find the time to answer them xD.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Idk but @chichipafarolillos is my personal superstar 💞💞💞💞💞

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

No crush but I really really 💗💗💗💗 my mutuals.

20. tags?

(forgot to publish this so you'all have probably been tagged already but!)

@memes-saved-me @jimhhawkins @fuckoldmansteve @smashmouth-hargrove @mourntheantagonist @catharrington @thestreetsatnight @lovebillyhargrove @foxie-herminah @disdaidal @c0bblenygma @inthelonelycoolbeforedawn @gothyringwald @swimbirdyswim @imnotyourmarypoppins @cherrydreamer @ihni @leatherr-n-lace @allaboardtheussharringrove @silentlylovingyourwork @wint3r-b0y @honeydewmelo @aeon-of-neon @mediocre--writing

#just in case #tagged! #xasklivedsomanylives

[azucanela]

Hi i really loved your first date HC❤❤👌 i dont know if your requests are open but if they are could you maybe do the same thing with baby boi kiri ??

FIRST DATE HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS

[ft. denki kaminari, kirishima ejirou]

bakugo, todoroki, shinsou version

SUMMARY: how did they ask you out? And how’d the date go? Well... 

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

WARNINGS: kissing, pretty pg, corny pick up lines

A/N: im glad you liked it! hope you don’t mind that i added denki bc i wanted to do more than one person lol. also im sorry it took so long!!! i lacked inspiration akjsdlksjkldj

DENKI KAMINARI

SO THIS ONE

so panicked when asking you out like he almost gets bakugo in on it

kirishima suggests super manly stuff like buying you roses but he ends up writing you a little note that says “will you go out with me? check yes or yes.” he’s kinda freaking out lol

he’s genuinely worried you will say no be careful with his heart

anyways he has it passed through the classroom and is highkey worried the note will be intercepted by aizawa but its fine it fine

and then mina gets it 

in all honesty, you probably thought the note was for mina, and if it did involve getting asked out, it was definitely for her

but then mina passes the note to you with a SMIRK

looks like someone couldn’t READ THE R O O M

smh

anyways, when he turns over to face you in the middle of class, basically sweating bullets, you’re kinda like ??? bc what is this mans doing

you look at the note and realize your name is on it like OH, he probably need homework answer lol

then you open it and it says “will you go out with me? check yes or yes.” 

even though he’s a really flirty person, he likes you alot so that persona kinda fades with you since he respects you 

and it also makes him really nervous around you

you’re kinda like :o

and he’s like :,)

so then you laugh a little in your seat and he begins to panic, and then you look over to him and with a lil grin, and after class you come up to him, “how about a study date, im honestly worried about your grades.”

then you kiss him on the cheek

kaminari.exe

hes dead you killed him, nearly passes out

and thats how denki got his first study date! because his crush who liked him back thought he was dumb!

poor bb

the actual study date would probably be in a café or a library

denki probably prefers the library since it would be easier to just make out with you in the isolated and quiet space BUT

you want food so café it is ugh, you don’t know what you’re missing out on.

he gets there first, and he actually brings his textbooks and homework, he’s invested and he wants to impress you so he is going to try his hardest okay

kaminari is internally panicking when he sees you, you do a lil wave and he swears his heart explodes with uwus and WOW you look SO good, he really wants to see you in street clothes more often.

he learns more that day than during his entire time in the hero course at UA. 

naturally, since you two live in the same dorm, he walks you back to your room

and then he comes inside

and then-

anyways he really really really want to kiss you on the first date and totally will if you allow it

you make him drink respect women juice at that café and he leaves a changed man

Denki’s knee was bouncing rapidly as he sat in the café. He’d taken the time this morning to pick out an outfit, and pack his textbooks, along with pens, highlighters, anything you could imagine really. If Y/N wanted a study date, he would try his hardest to make it the best study date possible, though he wasn’t really the best at studying, she’d been right when she’d pointed out his poor grades.

But hey, those grades got him a date, so they weren’t all that bad. 

He’s beginning to regret drinking caffeine as his hand taps against the table anxiously, despite his flirtatious personality, Denki had been on few dates. And he’d been stood up before, that was never fun. Also, it was Y/N, the girl who tried to help him pass all his classes, and shared food with him, and reminded him to do his work. This was important.

He’s about to pull out his phone and text her when the bell at the door of the café rings, his head snapping upwards at the sound to see if its Y/N. Relief floods him when he realizes it is her, a nervous smile finding it’s way onto his face as he waves at her. 

Y/N’s face lights up at the sight of him, and she makes her way over to him with ease, taking a seat across from him as she places her backpack on the floor. Y/N raises a brow, “some came prepared.”

“Yeah well, I’m excited to study.” His eyes meet hers, “with you.”

A small laugh escapes her, and Y/N tilts her head at him curiously, “I’m glad you’re excited.” Her eyes fall on the empty line in the café, “you want something?” 

Denki shakes his head, “no. I’m fine.” 

Y/N hums in response, sitting up to go buy a drink. Before heading over to the cashier, she leans over to him, grinning as she speaks, “calm down, Denki. It’s just a study date.”

“A study date with you.” Comes his response, earning him a flick to the head.

He decides then that Y/N looks very pretty in street clothes, it’s something he wished he’d seen sooner. Her outfit is fairly simple, but she looked beautiful in Denki’s eyes nonetheless. His eyes were trained on hers as she paid the barista, coming back to sit while she waited for her drink. 

Y/N rests her head in her hands, “so. You ready for a crash course in calculus?”

Denki hated school, he wouldn’t deny it. But learning alongside Y/N was far more bearable, and it gave him a sense of normalcy that he craved, seeing as he was incredibly nervous. Though Denki managed to loosen up over time, and now that they were walking back to the dorms, he found himself flirting like normal, “I’m not a photographer, but I could picture you and I together.”

She’s been laughing at the corny pick up lines he’s been using the entire walk home, “really now?” Y/N asks, grinning at him as they walk along the path.

“Yeah, really!” He replies, leaning closer to her, “now. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?”

There’s a pause, and Denki wonders if he passed an invisible boundary as he turns to Y/N, only for her to yank him by the collar, bringing his lips to hers. Y/N’s other hand comes to his arm, and Denki is temporarily frozen, though he soon realizes he needs to reciprocate if he wants to keep kissing her.

He really wants to keep kissing her.

Bringing his hands to her waist, Denki pulls her closer, smiling when they pull away and she says, “you were wrong.”

KIRISHIMA EJIROU

THE MANLIEST MAN OF DATES

it’s literally just so much chivalry like kirishima single handedly revived it

chivalry is NOT dead, kirishima just has ALL OF IT

Anyways.

asks you out with the help of our boy baku, gets him to good a meal and puts it in some tupperware,

lol convincing bakugo was the funniest part, and he agreed only because he was like, “what you think my cooking couldn’t get you a date? just you watch!” 

genuinely sees his cooking as a means of bribery

kirishima is grateful because he cannot cook so i hope you can

buys you roses, and approaches you, obviously nervous but keeping his cool

you think he’s gonna ask out bakugo HADHJGDSJHGD

you nudge baku and he gives you a look and is all like, “what the hell, that is all clearly for you.”

y/n.exe

lol kirishima is really sheepish about it he’s all like, “so would you be interested in... i dunno maybe going to dinner or something, as a date?”

embarrased bb

you accept the roses and the food and smile at him like, “sure!”

kirishima is relieved™

your first date is probably just like to the mall, you two get food and shop its nice

tries to pay for everything but he is not todoroki

he is your sugar baby congrats

he likes to watch you shop because you get really excited over really simple things and he does too and its just really adorable

definitely wants a fashion show with you

you’ll probably be like, “i don’t wanna waste your time.”

and then you turn around and kirishima is already holding seven different outfits like, “FASHION SHOW!” because hes manly

he also thinks you look REALLY pretty in all these different outfits like wow

he also has a fashion show and he has no right looking that GOOD in these CLOTHES 

y’all probably have your first kiss here, like you’re trying on clothes and he is hyping you up and you get all soft and he gets off soft and he’s like can i kiss you? and you are like HELL YEHA

opens doors for you, pulls out your chair, gives you his jacket, the KING of being a gentleman 10/10 treats you right

would ask to kiss you and will respect whatever you say when he walks you back to the dorms too

assuming he gets a kiss he’s throwing a party lol

Kirishima smiles as he watches Y/N stare at a skirt, squinting at it as she examines it. It’s cute, she’s cute, and he was ecstatic when she’d agreed to go out with him. The date was simple, just a trip to the mall and lunch in the food court, they’d already eaten, so now Y/N was leading him around the mall as they looked at all the stores.

“Do you think this would look good on me?” She asks, bringing a skirt to her lower half to inspect the look.

He simply takes the skirt and throws it over his arm, which is already holding several other articles of clothing, not that he minds, “I think everything here is gonna look good on you.” Kirishima raises his arm up to gesture towards all the clothing he is carrying as he smiles at her. 

Y/N can’t help it when her cheeks warm and she looks away, “C’mon let’s go to the dressing rooms.” She mumbles, eyes falling on hi, “you sure you don’t want help carrying those?”

Kirishima puffs his chest out a bit at this comment, “I wouldn’t be a very manly boyfriend if I didn’t.” Came his response.

This earns him a raised brow from Y/N as she guides the two of them to the dressing rooms, “boyfriend huh?”

His cheeks flush as red as his hair, “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“I like it.” Y/N winks as she takes the clothes from his arms and heads into the dressing room, shutting the door behind her and leaving Kirishima in shock.

He had plopped down onto the bench outside the dressing room, earning sympathetic smiles from those who pass by him, though he really doesn’t mind. If he was honest, he liked this. Y/N got excited over the smallest of things and that got him pretty excited as well, her joy was contagious almost. Kirishima was shocked he’d even scored a date with Y/N in the first place, she was in the top of their class, and had a ridiculous amount of friends, and even more admirers it seemed. 

She’d been trying on clothes for quite some time now, exiting only to show him the outfits, not that responses to these outfits ever changed, since she looked beautiful every time. 

Resting his head in his hand, he hears Y/N call out, “you sure you aren’t bored yet?” She’s slipping on a different outfit, a small smirk on her face as she wonders what his reaction could be. 

“No, not at all.” Kirishima replied, shifting in his seat. 

And then Y/N came out of the dressing room, she had chosen the skirt she’d previously show him along with a low cut top that he had not seen her pick.

Oh god.

Kirishima felt his mouth go dry as it gaped open in shock, “how do I look?” Though she clearly knew what he thought, given his reaction, Kirishima couldn’t help but remind himself that it wasn’t manly to stare. 

“Pretty.” Kirishima replies, “really pretty.” He straighten in his seat, offering her a nervous smile as she watches her spin in a circle. “How is someone so beautiful, literally?

Y/N is beaming at him, a small laugh escaping her as she comes to stand in front of him and replies, “I could say the same about you.” Kirishima's face breaks out into a smile and she brings her hands to his shoulders, “thanks for taking me out Kiri.”

He tilts his head curiously at her actions, “thanks for agreeing to got out with me.”

She hums in response, hands coming to his cheeks as she stood between his legs, locking eyes with Kirishima Y/N gives him a small smile, “can I kiss you, Kiri?”

His eyes widen a fraction and he nods rapidly, “definitely.” He mumbles in reply, eyes closing as their lips met. Kirishima allowed his hands to come waist, squeezing her hips as they kissed.

Yeah, he liked this.

A/N: i have zero inspiration and i feel like kirishima is out of character i am sorry akjdhkjshdkjahs 🙃 anyways kirishima looks respectfully

TAGLISTS[lmk if you want to be added or removed via askbox or replies]

BNHA: @shawkneecaps​

#kirishima x reader #kaminari x reader #denki kaminari x reader #ejirou kirishima x reader #ejirou x reader #denki x reader #kaminari denki x reader #kirihima ejirou x reader #ejiro x reader #kirishima ejiro x reader #ejiro kirishima x reader #kirishima x you #kaminari x you #kirishima x y/n #x reader #x you #kaminar x y/n

[mikemoon]

( choi yeonjun, cis man ) have you seen MICHAEL “MIKE” MOON ? i heard HE is a COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR at SAN VERTO COLLEGE and an EMPLOYEE at HALL OF FILM. they’re 22 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 6 YEARS. they tend to be CARE-FREE & ADVENTUROUS, but rumor has it they can also be GRUMPY & CLUMSY. [ tally, 25, gmt+4, she/her ] @foolsstarters​

tw // mentions of depression, cheating, divorce, underage drinking and smoking

michael moon, born myungjun moon –– choi yeonjun fc

birthday: september 9, 1998 - 22 yrs old ; virgo

cis man, he/him, bisexual

born and raised in philadelphia, pennsylvania

mike grew up being an only child, and always around the company of his mother in their house. his father was always traveling back and forth from south korea to the states for work. his parents have met at work on one of his father’s trips to the states, and they fell in love. his mother being american-born, she couldn’t really leave philadelphia. she loved it there. so they decided to keep it a long distance relationship.

sometime during those fleeting meetings, she had gotten pregnant with michael. and of course, his father spoiled them both, giving them everything they wanted. he never left them to fend for themselves. when the boy was born, his father named him myungjun, and his mother decided to name him michael for his english name. the nicknames jun, mike, and sometimes junnie were often heard whenever his parents or childhood friends called him.

up until mike was five years old in 2004, he’s lived with his mother, while his father was leaving and coming back for a week or two. but that year, he’s finally moved to the states and stayed with them for longer nights. he even finally married michael’s mother. of course, he still disappeared for a few days or weeks on end for work.

but that was also the year michael’s mother found out that her husband was with another woman. michael has never seen his mother break down like that before. sadly, the young boy was peering into the room when the fight happened and witnessed everything. his mother made her partner choose between the two women, and he eventually told her that he was going to divorce his first wife for her, and appeared to have gone through with his promise. because after that incident, he’s been around more often.

by early 2015, when michael had just turned 16, his mother had gotten a teaching job in ashdown academy, which resulted in their move to san verto, california. meaning, new school and new friends for mike. meanwhile, his dad was still traveling a lot for business and coming back whenever he could.

michael has grown up as a cheerful and energetic child. his friends at any school he went to would tell you how much of a great friend he is, how trustworthy and caring he is. it was so easy for him to make friends anywhere. he was the type of friend who would smile at you and listen to you talk on and on about whatever you liked, and the type who would cheer you on with anything you want to achieve. he wanted everyone to feel included and loved.

so it wasn’t that hard for him to get along with new people once he moved to town. he was a very social person. 

he was also the type of teenager who was out there doing things he wasn’t supposed to. he missed his old friends and his old home, but he wanted to have fun with all the new kids he was befriending. that simply resulted in him going to house parties as an underaged teen to ‘have fun’. his mother didn’t approve of him coming home very late at night, clearly smelling like smoke and alcohol. 

internally he was a depressed mess. of course, no one is completely happy as they grow up. his family was a mess, even if it appeared as fine to everyone else. his family life affected him so much while growing up. mike sometimes could disappear for a few days in his room, and it was always during some of his bad spells.

what made it worse was the day he found out the truth.

it was 2017 when michael walked into his father’s office in their house, looking for him to ask him about something. and instead of finding the man, he found a stack of papers poking from underneath his father’s laptop. upon closer look, they appeared to be divorce papers. michael’s heart sunk, thinking his parents were breaking it off.

michael is a curious kid, he couldn’t help but close the door and read the papers. but what he saw wasn’t his mother’s name, it was another woman. his heart raced, as he put things back where they were and immediately left the room. michael had found out one of his father’s many secrets. he never divorced his first wife all those years ago. he lied and somehow stayed with both women without suspicion... well, until now. clearly the other woman was breaking it off for a reason. 

michael couldn’t help his curiosity. he came back to the room later that night and snapped as many pictures as he could of evidence he could find. he even found his father’s phone (which was easy to figure out the password of) and found a plethora of pictures of the man with a different family, different kids and a different partner. he airdropped the pictures to himself to avoid leaving any traces behind and quickly left again.

a quick search on facebook, and he managed to find the first wife. it was easy with the name and pictures he had. if anything, michael prided himself on being a good internet detective... or stalker. he spent everyday trying to find the rest of the family on the internet. he found the woman’s young daughter on instagram and twitter, along with her older son’s accounts as well. it felt weird. it was a constant “now what?” for michael. he’s found them. what was he going to do now? he couldn’t just message them and tell them everything. and he couldn’t break his mother’s heart by letting her know.

except he had to let her know. he could never live with the fact that he knew his father was betraying her this entire time. and so michael told her everything, and after comforting her all night when she broke down yet again, she immediately ended things and asked for a divorce. now it was just michael and his mother, all alone. and for once, having to get by on their own.

thankfully they were safe, with his mother’s amazing money management skills, and the job she got at the academy, they managed to live their regular lives despite the heavy feeling of a broken family looming around them. the two just wanted to be happy again.

michael spent the next few years trying to lead a normal life. his mental health had gotten worse after everything he’s found out. he went to college, and he continued trying to do well in school. he really wasn’t the best when it came to grades, but he was trying his best.

and truthfully, he couldn’t help but make a few spare accounts on some social medias to follow his father’s other family.

but he eventually decided to just let it go, assuming they definitely knew about his mother and himself, which would explain the first divorce. so he decided to put it in the past and move on.

his mother has moved on as well. she found herself someone who actually cares about her so much (mike’s stupid ass has done a secret background check to make sure this dude wasn’t another cheater lmaoo) and now mike isn’t an only child anymore. it’s been 2 years since his little sister yuna was born, and he loves her so much. he still isn’t used to the idea of a new fatherly figure in his life, but he’s.... getting there. 

little dumb hcs

mike majors in computer science at san verto college, with a concentration in game development and design

hes a lil gamer boy,,, u KNOW he’s that annoying dude with a gamer chair that has a sound system in it khjkh

he posted a few videos on youtube but rly just ditched the channel after like a month. he still posts whenever he feels like it tho and it’s usually just.... messy gaming videos or opinions no one asked for

his dad’s dumb ass still doesn’t know it was mike who exposed him to his mother. he thinks she found the divorce papers on her own. therefore.... mike still gets money from his dad on a monthly basis and gets to keep the car he bought him for his 18th birthday lmaooooo a win��

you probably heard me say this before but.... theres a hc that mike is allergic to eggs. simply bc the idea of him shopping in the vegan section is funny to me 

this boy has a love for frogs ? idk where the obsession came from but you bet you’re gonna see a cute lil frog sticker on everything he owns. he doodles them on everything too ? it’s a habit at this point. he also knows random little facts about them and tells them to anyone who didnt ask for them 

. embarrassing but.. this dude... omg.... a big sana stan.... he has a photocard collection.... he went to a twice concert like 5 times.... dont be surprised if you see a feel special sana photocard in his phonecase.... im embarrassed of him 

he also has a hyunjin mcdonalds hashbrown photocard framed that a friend gave to him for christmas bc.. it’s a rare card,,, and you can see it on a table by the door when you walk into his apartment 😭

mike also has a habit of buying things he doesn’t need ?? he has a plushie collection that has been growing since he was young, and now is getting bigger with the rise of squishmallows

there’s this random hc where he drunk bought a cardboard cutout of john cena ,,,, don’t ask,,, it’s currently guarding his room back at his mom’s house djfhdj

can you tell mike is my most embarrassing , most chaotic character,, 

also he moved out after graduating school and when he started to attend college,,,, gimme some roomies pls

connection ideas ??

michael’s childhood friends; could’ve gone to the same school back in philly before he moved away ?? 

friends he made when he moved to town?? mike is very social and was... kinda popular in school, i’d say. he made friends with basically anyone he found interesting

michael’s ex; they could’ve ended on a bad note, or even on a good one and ended up being friends. im really up for plotting anything.

michael’s best friend; PLEASE i love wholesome best friend plots. it doesn’t matter if they met in san verto or philly

roomies pls !!! i would love it if he could have some roommates who have to deal with his very . peculiar decorating habits 

co workers ?? customers ? regulars ? he works at hall of film ! 

like this to plot or hmu !

#foolsintro #this got SO LONG #i didnt proof read and im sure i missed something

[sharkb0yinthewat3r]

What was coming out like for you?

For years I was closeted and i really didn’t want to do it. I go back and forth between whether or not I thought it was unnecessary or I told myself it was unnecessary so I wouldn’t have to do it. It was probably a little bit of both.

I knew for a while that at the very least my mom knew since she was the only one dropping hints. But if she did so did everybody else. After I was like truly accepting of myself, I really did buy into the narrative that i didn’t need to do it. On one hand I felt like everyone in my family already knew so there was no need to inform them, there was no need to bring it up out of nowhere unprompted, and it’s just ridiculous that that’s something anyone has to do. I’m more than my sexuality and straight people don’t have to come out.

Anyway this ended up being a really long post feel free to read all of it, but the main takeaway is that coming out was scary. Even when I knew nothing big was going to come of it, there’s just like this anxiety I had and I think it’s normal. Im lucky to live a life where I can be myself freely without having to be concerned about repercussions. I would say me coming out to my friends/just not hiding who I was from them was a great experience. My cousins were so great. My mom and my sister, I guess I wish that those had gone better which is crazy to me because they had known the longest and had so long to prepare and just didn’t have ideal reactions (far from awful but it was kinda just like uhhh ok?) and then my dads is probably my favorite bc that’s how it should be for everyone. It was ultimately very freeing for me but it was also like very uncomfortable for me.

My coming out happened in 4 phases:

1. College freshman year: i was struggling with my sexuality after I got my first crush and wasn’t sure whether or not people would accept me and eventually I told one friend that I lived with and he never treated me differently, I think I told three other friends that were girls, but overall it was extremely difficult to communicate for me. I would say that this was a time in which I was still closeted.

2. I now work on accepting myself and don’t really talk about it with people unless it comes up for the next three years. I’m now in my fourth year of college and join an org where I’m placed on a committee that’s essentially 60% gay males 40% straight males (and girls). My goal when joining was just to be open and let people get to know me. I was still middle ish of the road and sorta wanted to be perceived as straight. I think people just kind of started to assume I was gay and it was like “oh I don’t have to think about telling anyone anything or acting a certain way. I can just be myself” and I kinda just let loose and as we started hanging out and going to parties together I was able to open up and be myself judgement free and it was just so much fun and that’s when I like TRULY accepted myself and I was like life should be like this all the time. I can’t believe I haven’t been doing this. This was more of like a me coming out to myself than anything else and showing myself how enjoyable life can be when you don’t bottle yourself up.

3. Same year (after my first semester) Even though I was very open with my friends at school, this was my first time home for a ‘long break’ and I wasn’t as open with my family. Me and my two female cousins went out for a day together in the city and then ended up at a bar where they were talking about the kind of guys they were into and my one cousin mentions that she’s into older guys and I didn’t say anything and then our other cousin went to the bathroom and I was like btw I’m gay and I only wanted to preface that bc when u said u were into older guys I was like legit same I know exactly what you mean. My other cousin came back from the bathroom and then we laughed about it, but they were the sweetest and most supportive I could’ve wanted. I don’t think I’d ever felt as close with them as I did in that moment. They asked if anyone else knew and I was like well my friends but that’s it and they said they wouldn’t tell anyone and I thanked them.

A few nights later I met my sister out at a bar for her birthday in the city. I was hanging out with her friends (who I knew just not on a real personal level) because she was dancing and making out with some guy. This is actually kinda funny. It was winter and the bar was hot so I tied my jacket around my waist (as I often do bc that’s just typically part of my look, kinda like a staple of mine tbh) and her friend is like “ryán why are you wearing that around your waist, go put it in the coat check” and I was like no thanks like I really don’t mind having it on my waist, I like the way it looks and I honestly don’t wanna pay and she’s like “you have to check it, any girl who walks in here and sees a guy with a jacket around his waist will not want to get with him” and I looked at her and laughed and was like “lol ok well that’s fine because I’m into guys anyway” and she was taken aback like “OH” and I was like lol r u surprised and she was like well your sister just never told me that and I said well idk why she would, like for one I’m not sure why that would be a topic of discussion between the two of you and for two I haven’t told her anyway. She and my sisters other gay friend practically forced me to tell her the entire night and I was like um ok. And then my sister got mad at me for telling them before her and made it all about herself and I was drunk crying running to the bathroom lol and she followed it up with SO MANY questions and was like you gotta tell mom and dad we talk about it all the time. And I was like 1. No I don’t, if they wanna know they can ask me I don’t care 2. That’s kinda fucked up that you guys talk about me and my sexuality all the time behind my back?? 3. If you just said u all know why do I have to tell you. There isn’t really more to the story there, it was her telling me to and me saying no.

4. It is the 2019th summer. Id thought many times about telling my parents I wanted to go to pride and just like ended up saying nothing. Fact of the matter was that I wasn’t proud and honestly even if I wanted to go I didn’t know who I’d go with. My parents are VERY religious and when I was younger I had heard my mom express worry about a girls mother after the girl had come out as a lesbian l o l. Years go by and my mom got me a pamphlet for the lgbt center mixed in with a bunch of other papers when I moved in my freshman dorm, said a lot of encouraging things to me like telling me “you can date anyone you want” and asking me about my love life (this kind of stuff happened between stages 1 and 2). Nothing was explicitly said but I think we both silently acknowledged it. She even asked about one of my gay friends bc I think she thought we mightve been dating (between stage 3 and 4) which we were not and never have hooked up or anything. Honestly I knew they’d be supportive and I knew they weren’t going to kick me out, I just didn’t know how they’d honestly and truly take it. And by the time that I didn’t give a fuck about how anybody “took” the “news” I was aware that they knew and subscribed to all the beliefs that I listed above. If they wanted to know so desperately they could ask me. At this point I wasn’t even trying to hide it. A guy kinda fucked me over right before school was over and I was talking to her on the phone and she was asking how I was and why I sounded meh and I just told her guys suck without trying to get into it. Anyhow picture this, straight pride has just been confirmed for August 2019. Gays are distressed everywhere. Can we not have one thing??? I share a post to my insta story stating something along the lines of “straight pride isn’t necessary and you should be happy you don’t need it. LGBT people need pride because we still don’t have equal rights and people get killed every day for being a part of this community and people get kicked out of their homes for loving someone, etc.” and I guess my mom saw it and was like that was an interesting post on your instagram and I was like lol ok thanks. (She had thought I didn’t think I was safe in my own home and that’s why I wasn’t coming out) And she’s like is there something you want to tell me? And I say is there something you want me to tell you? And she says only if you want to. And I say “what mom do you want me to tell you I’m gay? Like it’s not a secret. I know you know and everybody else knows.” We went on a walk and she said some highly questionable microaggressions but meant with overall support. At this point though like I already accepted myself so I could just roll my eyes and be like lol whatever you don’t get it.

Then my dad comes back and she calls him to the kitchen and is like I think you should tell him now. And i was like gurl what? This is so out of nowhere and so ridiculous. You’re really going to do this after we just had an hourlong discussion on why I didn’t feel the need to come out. And my dad comes in and is like what’s up and I say hey just so you know I’m gay, ok? And he says ok.

#omg this is so fucking long im so sorry #ive been writing so many novels for asks lately #ask

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 9 OF 22

You will let my tender hook Catch the folded darkness inside you, let me occupy The dented place at the base of your throat. - "One Life", Carlomar Arcangel Daoana

--

She wakes up late.

Comically late.

No hangover, thank god—but it’s 11am and she’s dressed in lent pajamas in a bed that isn’t her own. She shoots up to sitting position in a second, and standing in a minute, trudging out the room to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

By the time she’s up and out of the room, a little more awake, Dazai and Arthur have already long gone, the only remnants of their presence the bit of glitter that they had wiped onto the sofa they nestled in.

And text messages.

She squints when she reads it, not because she had a hard time reading what it said, but—because she couldn’t believe what it said.

A series of text messages from Dazai:

[ 7:23 | Dazai ] ur still asleep but ur friend kinda hot

[ 7:24 | Dazai ] ofc I woke up first but his eyelashes tho???

[ 8:32 | Dazai ] pls tell me he’s not a douche bc im rly gonna jump him

[ 9:03 | Dazai ] mgonna jump him

[ 10:19 | Dazai ] abt to find out if he’s got the magnum sized dong u promised

Oh, god, what has she done.

With a groan, she heads down the hallway, phone securely in the pocket of the sweatpants, to see Vincent and Theo preparing a meal in the kitchen; Theo preparing some sort of fillet (fish? Chicken?) and Vincent frying some onions and garlic on the stove, filling the kitchen with a nice aroma.

“Good morning,” she says softly, as she shuffles onto one of the dining table chairs.

“Thought you died,” Theo says with a snort; but once he turns around to face her, all derision goes away in his face and is replaced by a quiet surprise.

Vincent beams as he turns to get the fillets from Theo. (It’s chicken.) “Good morning. Did you sleep well? No headache?”

She shakes her head. “Nope, I’m good. Thanks for letting me sleep here last night and for the clothes.”

“Of course, no problem at all,” Vincent answers, turning back to the pan. The chicken makes a sizzle as it meets the oil.

Theo is still staring at her with an odd look on his face.

“Earth to Theo?” she calls out, waving her hand in front of her. “Something wrong?”

“Broer. Why did you lend her my clothes.”

Oh.

“You know how most my shirts are, paint-stained in all the weird places.”

She feels the cling of the cotton around her skin so differently, so suddenly. Oh.

“She wouldn’t have minded, she was drunk.”

That’s correct, but—

Vincent smiles at Theo, the kind of smile one makes when they can see through someone; she’s filled with a kind of relief at knowing that Vincent can do that to Theo. Maybe the man isn’t an impenetrable a character after all. “No need to be shy, Theo.”

“I am not,” he insists, finally tearing his gaze away from her and heading to the sink to wash the used chopping board and the knife. “I just don’t want her wearing my stuff.”

She smirks. He is shy. True, she didn’t get the opportunity to think about what she was putting on last night because she was so tired and knocked out by the alcohol, but…if that was the price she had to pay to see this side of Theo she doesn’t have the opportunity to witness often, then it was worth it. Oh, the ever put-together Theo, brought to his knees by only one person in the world, the one he trusts the most: his brother.  “Is it because your personality is contagious?” she teases, “wouldn’t want to catch that.”

He answers her with a glare. “Reverse. It’s your stupidity that’s contagious.”

“Oh, we’re pretty much equally as stupid, Theo. No need to worry.”

“We are not,” he says, and then Vincent elbows him carefully.

“You really should be a little gentler to your friends,” Vincent comments, as he turns the fillet onto its other side.

Theo grumbles something unintelligible and it makes her laugh. Sitting in the kitchen, watching the two brothers side by side with their back to her as they prepare—she checks the clock—lunch for the three of them, she hums, content. She’s lived alone for all her life here in the campus, and it was one she looked forward to after living in a house crammed with people for most of her life. But sitting here, watching them share the chores and maybe have a little banter with each other—makes her reconsider that maybe, maybe settling down in even the worst of places isn’t that horrible when you’re in good company.

Theo opens the plate cupboard and hands her a set of it with some cutlery. “Set the table at least, freeloader?” He says, though his voice lacks all the venom his words otherwise had.

Okay, she’ll have to reconsider if Theo counts as “good company.”

--

Theo barely survives lunch with her and his brother because of how much he gets teased by the two. He might argue that this is worse than being stuck with her and Arthur because since it is Vincent, he does not get the leeway to have a comeback, only able to grumble in displeasure at being see-through. They stuff their bellies not only with Vincent’s famed chicken with herbs but also with a hefty amount of laughter.

She slides back (slightly disgusted) into her costume to walk back home in, confident that many other students will be trudging along the streets suffering the same fate. (“Not everyone wakes up as late as you.” “There’s bound to be at least one, right?”) When she comes out of the bathroom, there’s a book on top of his neatly-folded clothes.

They speak at the same time.

“I could wash these first before giving it back if you—” “You had that with you all this time?”

Silence.

She breaks it with a laugh. “Yeah, it was a Saturday. I didn’t want to break the schedule.”

“You get so thorough about the weirdest things,” he comments, but he takes the bundle in her arms anyway. “It’s alright, I’ll have them. Let me get you a book, too.”

She follows Theo into the studio, where he crouches in front of some bookshelves. Vincent peeps from behind his easel. “You should walk her home,” he offers, as Theo pulls a few books out of the shelf.

“No, it’s alright, I’ll be fine! I’m not drunk or dizzy. The walk will help clear my head.”

“It’s twenty minutes out,” Theo points out, getting up.

“Just promise that if you find me asleep on the street you’ll pick me up?”

Handing Murakami’s Dance, Dance, Dance to her, Theo grins. “I can’t promise that.”

“Oh, Theo, you know you will.”

Even when she is long out of his sight, the smile on his face does not go away. Even as the day shifts into mundanity. Even as he’s carting a bagful of clothes to the launderette. Even as he picks up some groceries on the way home. Even as he prepares dinner for Vincent, who is a few hours deep into painting.

Maybe for a moment, it goes away, but—

He thinks of her and the smile comes back full force.

--

She spends the rest of Sunday recovering and hiding away in her room after the very socially draining party, but by Monday she’s hopped onto her bike and headed for the literature club’s little gazebo. She’s left a message for Dazai, asking for company. Sure, they spent quite a lot of time together in the past week, after having jumped through thrift stores and boutiques for the perfect Night Circus costume (and yes, she made him read the book beforehand too, for good measure) but Saturday was quite a day. She’s brought a couple of cookies for sharing with him, sitting at their usual spot, looking out at the quadrangle next to it.

“Toshiko-san! Sorry we kept you waiting!”

The plural takes her off guard, and she turns to find that Dazai has brought a rather distracted-looking Isaac along, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Isaac is always dressed so well—she supposes it’s part of the uniform or something of being seen as a respectable professor—but she sure does want to see him dress down once. T-shirt, shorts, that kind—Isaac seems to take everything too seriously.

The pleasant feeling of seeing a friend she hasn’t met up with in a long time is quickly replaced by confusion, as the science complex is nowhere near the Arts building. “Nice to see you here, Isaac,” she says, but also with the lilt of a question.

Dazai answers said question. “He’s here because he has nothing better to do, so I asked him to come.”

Isaac makes a face that’s both resignation and panic. “He passed by my office.��� –and dragged me out because he wouldn’t take no for an answer, she finishes in her head.

“I see,” she answers, even though that’s not really an explanation in itself.

She knows Isaac through Dazai, and Dazai knows Isaac through a very peculiar class: Occultism 101.

A class team-taught by three major colleges in the university—the College of Arts, the College of Science, and the College of Social Sciences—Occultism 101 is one of the more controversial classes on campus because of its nature. It goes through a long history of the evolution and persistence of supernatural beliefs and practices among nations in the world, in that nice gray area between religion and science. There are only two kinds of students in Occultism 101: those who believe and who are genuinely interested, and those who do not believe and would like to spend an entire semester saying “bah! That’s not true!” to themselves all the time.

Occultism 101 is typically taught by professors from the College of Social Sciences and College of Arts with backgrounds in religious practices and other mystical behavior (whether in history or art), and then occasionally, in the middle of the semester, guest lecturers from the College of Science come in to give lectures on how these “supernatural events” may be explainable through scientific means. Say, how the piping system in a building can cause haunted “cold spots”, or how floating dust particles can come up in a photograph as “orbs”, or the likes.

And she doesn’t want to be very stereotypical about it, but a lot of people in the College of Science are pretty… well, square, and so no one really wants to teach Occultism 101, even if it’s only a few meetings in a semester. This is how this job ends up to unwilling, no-choice Ph.D. students such as Isaac.

It was just his luck that Dazai was in the section he taught.

“So, Osamu, care to tell us about your little date last Sunday?” she asks, as the other two have taken their seats across her. Dazai swoons a little at the mention of Sunday. Isaac looks at him with unsureness.

(Isaac has had the miserable experience of being the victim of Dazai’s flirtation at some point in time. One can see how that has instead simmer into a rather tentative friendship. All is well.)

Dazai rests his elbows on the table and places his chin on the palms of his hands. “He’s so dreamy.”

“No he isn’t,” she swiftly replies, without thought.

But Dazai pretends not to have heard it. “He’s not looking for a serious relationship though,” he adds. “Not that I am, either.”

“You aren’t?”

“No, sweetie,” Dazai explains. “But he’s my type and I’m his type and we couldn’t just leave it at that so I have his number now, and a little… arrangement.”

The word hangs in between them, swaying.

Oh no, that’s not any good. “What arrangement.”

“You don’t need to sound so concerned.”

“This is Arthur we’re talking about,” she insists, and the name makes Isaac flinch a little.

“Doyle, the med student?” Isaac asks, and she turns to him, blinking.

“You know him?” Remembering Arthur during the party, her mouth falls into a small o. “He knows you too, doesn’t he?”

Isaac scoffs. “Who in this university doesn’t?” Arthur’s pretty well-known to be a flirt. Something like having a checklist of bedding at least one person in every department—a rumor that would have been a little more shameful if the rumors also didn’t say how he was so good at it.

She nods. “Well, fair enough.”

“No, no, he’s an absolute sweetheart to me, so it’s definitely a you problem,” Dazai insists. “It’s just a friendship with benefits, yanno?” He emphasizes every of the following syllables with his tone and his hands: “Nice, big, hefty benefits.”

And even Isaac, who usually refrains from commenting no matter how much he has to say, has to quip with “Terrible choice, really.”

And she has to agree. “I respect you, but not your taste, Osamu.”

Dazai grins. “Understandable.” He picks up one of the sandwiches she’s prepared. “You make it sound like I’m the only one making bad decisions though.”

“Excuse me?”

He turns to Isaac. “You should have gone to the Halloween party. She brought her little boy toy.”

She scoffs. “He is not my boy toy.”

“You sure do have him around your finger though, getting in matching costumes and all that,” Dazai says. “Spends Saturdates with him all the time.”

The only strategy that will work in times like these is straight-up ignoring him. “Anyway—” she begins, about to steer the conversation away when Isaac speaks up.

“It’s nice to hear you’re getting close to other people,” he says softly. Isaac has a way of speaking that makes it always seem like he’s spent so much time thinking about what he said before he actually said it; so sometimes it’s hard to gauge if he’s saying it casually or entirely seriously.

So she blinks. “You make it seem like I have no friends, Isaac.”

“I-It’s not that!” he suddenly blurts. Ah, there. There’s the usual Isaac. “You’ve spent so much time focusing on your work lately, it’s nice to know you’re relaxing with other people sometimes.”

And he doesn’t say it, but she sure does hear it: the you haven’t been to the astronomy club in a while and it’s made me worried about you.

She doesn’t go religiously, but she used to attend fairly often to hang out with the other members and just look up at the stars. Isaac tries to organize at least two sessions in a month, one to look at the moon, and another to point at the stars. She hasn’t been able to catch them in a bit.

But then, slowly, as the image of the view outside the astronomy club’s hangout is refreshed in her mind, the way the physics building rooftop is just high enough to provide a good view of the rest of the campus below, the city downtown, just at the right place on campus that at night, the rest of the sprawling town’s streetlights trickle out like golden LED veins through the threes—an idea begins to implant itself into her head.

Taking root immediately.

She likes to go up here to think. She really shouldn’t have had permission to go up there on her own, in her free time, since they have rules about club hours and the likes, but Isaac is a close friend and gave her a spare key, so she can come and go as she pleases. And sure, the Grove is a nice, quiet place for book clubs and maybe doing homework if one doesn’t need an electric socket, but up here in the astronomy club’s “the Rooftop”, she feels like she can float away into the vast ocean of her thoughts and get lost in them for a moment.

She feels small up there. And that’s a good feeling.

She won’t tell it to Isaac’s face but it’s one of the primary reasons why she applied for the astronomy club in the first place. The stars are great no matter how dumb she is at physics, but the view—it’s really something else.

What does the world look like from the point of view of a star? How tiny are human lives in the vast expanse of the universe? How long have these stars been out there, how long will they stay out there, how much longer will they stay in this universe more than we will?

…This is why Theo teases her for being a literature major: all these goddamn metaphors.

And for a split second, she thinks…

Maybe it isn’t that bad to share that same quiet space with him?

…You know, to talk books.

“About that…”

Isaac and Dazai turn to her.

“Mind if I sneak in an outsider to the Roof?” she asks, facing Isaac with genuine hope in her voice.

Isaac only shrugs. “Do as you please,” he says casually, taking a cookie from her little box on the table.

And she grins like he’d just given her the light of the world. “Thank you, Isaac.”

Dazai shakes his head, because he knows she’s got no denying herself out of this one the next time.

#the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo

[wallstagram]

june - july fic rec: month(s) in review

hello & welcome back to the june - july edition of fic rec: month(s) in review! we have a L O T to unpack this time, so let’s dive right in! throughout june & july, we have been blessed with the majority of @larryabroad, as well as the bulk of @hlsummerexchange2019, all of @wordplayfics, wanker’s day fic fest, and many more that i’m probably forgetting. summer was a great time to be a fic reader for sure, thank you to every author who contributed!! 

**disclaimer: not all of these fics were written in june/july, it is simply when i read them. however, a lot of them were. ***note: as always, if you do take my recommendation and read any of these works, please bookmark, comment, and leave kudos for these authors!! it is so important that we support the creators in our community. as an author, i know a sweet comment will often spur me to keep writing when i’m stuck. but, without further ado, here’s my recs below the cut!

J U N E : :

You Were Made To Be Mine by lovelarry10 (@chloehl10)

Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry's for as long as he can remember, so it's a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn't all that Harry has his eye on...

Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he's invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester...

This was such a cute read! At a whopping 580k, there is a LOT to sink your teeth into. Though I started it at the beginning of June, I haven’t even nearly finished yet, but it’s so good that it’s made it onto my rec list!

Get Off and Vote by haztobegood (@haztobegood)

Niall lets out a loud laugh, “Hey, listen to this. You know how elections are Tuesday? It says the Babeland on the edge of campus is giving out free toys to the first 100 people that show their ‘I Voted’ sticker.”

“How patriotic.” Louis laughs. “Maybe I should go.”

Haha! This one was great. At 3k, it’s a perfect quick read for some sexy, patriotic fun. 

Surprise Me, Space Boy by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Louis is a solo officer on Space Station Zeta and the isolation can present many challenges, not least of which is that it’s really bloody hard to date. He’s pinning his hopes on that changing with a fellow solo officer, Harry, from a neigbouring station who gives great banter and has a gorgeous smile. Maybe online dating has its benefits after all?

OR The Space Wank Fic.

Oh, this one was so good!!! The thing I love about literally anything Dee writes is that she just thinks completely outside the box. I feel like I never quite know what’s going to happen (in the best way!) and her originality totally made this fic amazing. (7k)

rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied (@crossnecklace)

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

This was such a good read! It’s written in such a way that you’re utterly sucked into the verse so much that you’re a bit sappy when the fic is over. Kinda makes you feel a bit lovedrunk just from reading it. (29k)

Found My Hallelujah by crimsontheory (@ireallysawanangel)

As an engagement gift from his parents, Harry and his fiance receive an all expenses paid cruise trip for two. But one week before they're set to sail, Harry walks in on his fiance cheating on him. Newly single, with the cruise tickets in hand, and his bags already packed, Harry brings along his sister instead. And maybe the cute bartender on the ship might just be the person Harry needs to help him put back together all of his broken pieces.

I have so much to say about this one! I had the absolute honor of beta’ing this 35k work (which im pretty sure i just cheerlead you bc nicole you know grammar isn’t my strong suit...lmfao) and honestly it has become a fic that i love so much! nicole is such a talented writer; everything she writes just brings out so much emotion from her audience, and she has such a great sense of characterization! if you liked this one, check out its sequel, Now I’m Moving Up because it’s great too!!!!

J U L Y : :

Whisk me off my feet by allwaswell16 (@allwaswell16)

When Louis locks himself out of his apartment in just a pair of novelty underwear, he hopes his new neighbor can come to his rescue.

Haha! This one was so cute! What a darling fic! (5k)

The Charles Compass Trilogy by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Louis Tomlinson is a successful writer who rents a beach house on the Cape to try and finish the final book in his successful Charles Compass trilogy.

So I’m convinced that any rec list I make will not be complete if Sada isn’t on it. Here’s the thing - I fell in love with this story before she was revealed as the author, and honestly I had no clue. She’s got this amazing way of being able to change her style to fit the kind of story she’s trying to tell. This is such a good look at the writing process, highly recommend! (9k)

From The Heart series by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat.

As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind?

Okay, Dee really killed the game this time. Because I was OBSESSED. I mean honestly checking my phone at work to see what the newest installment was. This series is so fulfilling and so so hot to think about as an author! (25k)

blue eyes, black jeans, lighters, candy by delsicle (@emperorstyles)

Harry is in Madrid and Louis had a hard week.

So, the whole dom on tour series is really good, but this is my favorite work of the two. I love basically anything Delaney writes but this was extremely hot! (4k)

Could you love me anyway by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Dear Mistress Lorin: I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now and was hoping you’d give me some advice for something that happened with me and my boyfriend. I’m really worried that I hurt him.

aka Harry and Louis begin playing ping pong during the X-Factor Tour. It quickly gets out of hand.

Okay. If you know me at all, you know that the way to my heart is either spanking, kink negotiation, or both. This just delivers on it all, and it catches on some main parts of BDSM-for-newbies and kink-gone-wrong that people often pretend never happens. I could gush so much about this, but go ahead and just read it yourself because it’s too good to miss!! (13k)

you are half of me (and I am all for you) by angelichl (@angelichl)

One Direction, an obscure indie rock band, is about to embark on their first cross-country tour, living out of Louis' beloved van named Patricia.

Harry is in love, and Louis is oblivious. Or is he?

Featuring skinny-dipping in Texas waterfalls, getting lost in the desert, stargazing under the New Mexico sky, performing in front of crowds that grow in size each night, and falling in love on the road during the greatest summer of their lives.

Okay WOW. I have so much to say about this one!!! So first off, the biggest thank you to adri for writing this fic for me for HL Summer Exchange!!! Honestly I feel like you spied through all my hopes and dreams and loves (including parenthesis in fic titles??? love it) and squished it all into this fic. it’s just the best fic, and it feels like warm summer air and tracing constellations in the stars and falling in love. if you haven’t read this already, please do!!!! It was so good I teared up when I first read it! (25k)

Heading for Limbo by kingsofeverything (fullonlarrie) (@kingsofeverything)

Childhood best friends who’ve fallen in and out of touch with each other since Louis’ family moved away when they were thirteen, Harry and Louis find their paths crossing again and again. Each time, no matter how many miles apart or how many years it’s been, it’s as if no time has passed. They fall back into their easy friendship, until life intervenes and sends them on their separate ways once more.

When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But it’s all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isn’t the only thing between them.

The pieces of their twice broken hearts are scattered from the Atlantic to the Pacific.

Okay. Okay. This fic literally is one I will remember for the rest of my life, and i’m not even being dramatic about it! So, I really do enjoy leaving authors detailed comments about their fics, but that just wasn’t enough... I really had to message Lauren this whole essay about how Heading for Limbo helped me deal with a lot of emotions I was feeling in my own personal life, and it helped me fully realize that i’m bisexual. (did i just come out?? yikes) it was nice to see a fic where things weren’t perfect over a long stretch of time. It was amazing to see Harry realize his sexuality later in life, because that was one of my main struggles. this fic is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Literally, Lauren, thanks for changing my whole life!!! (101k)

Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen (@becomeawendybird)

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

Okay, if you’re new around here, this fic was also on one of my previous rec lists, but then Molly had to ruin my life and write another chapter of it. Jesus Christ!!!! I literally could read this fic every single day and die happily. It’s so hot, and the characterization is so good. So, I guess this rec is specifically for chaper 2, but you’ve gotta read chapter 1 also! For the betterment of your life, of course. (9k)

Abstract by Star55 (@star55)

After Zayn draws a naked Harry for her art class, she finds that she can't stop drawing Harry and Louis' naked bodies, usually engaged in some form of sexual activity.

Literally - this was hot as balls. Loved it! (8k)

alright guys, that’s it! if you read all the way to the bottom, you deserve a sticker. i hope you guys enjoy some of my favorite fics i’ve read! don’t forget to go bookmark, comment, and give kudos! and just remember: we are all human. if you read a work, and loved it, and didn’t comment, it’s never too late! give your author some loooooooove. my life has been super busy and i really haven’t been in the place to leave the thought-out comments i like to, so most of these authors can expect comments from me soon. thank you to all the authors listed above, have a nice day everyone! also, feel free to send your favorite fics into my ask - maybe they’ll end up on my next list!!!

#wow i came out in my fic rec list! #fic rec #curated by hlplease #june/july recs #larry fics #larry fic #larry smut #things my friends write #lovelarry10 #chloehl10 #haztobegood #jacaranda-bloom #embodied #crossnecklace #crimsontheory #ireallysawanangel #allwaswell16 #sadaveniren #delsicle #emperorstyles #angelichl #fullonlarrie #kingsofeverything #quickedween #becomeawendybird #star55

[talkbykhalid]

WRITING QUIZ ༉‧₊˚✧

( aka: take a shot every time i mention tatbilb or anything about it 😗✌️)

tagged by @dearncityy thank u mi asawa for tagging me 💕 i had lots of fun doing this ✨

...

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ what is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

hu h... this is kinda hard. bc i can never focus on sth for that long but uhm ig when im working against due date? i can focus a lot better?? like i work on it at the last minute but yk. i dont require a specific setting as long as my ass is comfortable on where im sitting and my back is leaning on sth, just the usual stuffs.

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ what is your favourite genre to write?

aH so im not all that experienced in writing yet, but i have been writing lots of angst(?) as of late and a little bit of fluff, but i doubt they’re actually “good” good. also ill be throwing smut in here bc im semi-satisfied with my latest work 🤩 (yeah self promo right here)

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ do you prefer to write on paper, or digitally?

i have shit hand writing so its digitally. and its always on my laptop bc i cant focus on when i write on my phone. it just doesn’t feel right, yugeme? idk typing on a physical keyboard (difock is that?) gives me a more professional feel.

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ it’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea. what do you do?

sleep 🤩 and i’ll deal with it the next day. if i forget then i’ll be mad @ myself but does that stop me from doing it again? no ❤️

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ who is your favourite person to write about?

huh... so i really like to write abt yunho bc... reasons. but i feel like san’s easier to write about, because idk his personality just seems like sth im comfortable with and it generally suits the vibe of what i write.

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ do you like making your own characters, or do you usually write about real people?

i go for both. uhm uhh i have a few characters of my own and their own backstories yk that shit. but i also like to write abt real ppl bc i have a template for their personalities and actions bc i have a tendency to manipulate charas as i write, so if the character lacks personality (example: tatbilb granny) they just become a flat character that idk what to do with so i do anything to make them slightly interesting, but it just makes them inconsistent.

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ have you ever written a book, or a story with more than 15 chapters (100k words)?

aH so i just started writing seriously, and for now i only have abt 60k words(?) in my current work, but i dont doubt that it’ll reach 100k bc i have quite a lot in store. so idk, check that out ig?

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ how often do you get ideas?

i used to get no ideas for a full month, and that’s just sad. omg. but recently my mind’s been on overdrive. and i have @cyanister to thank for that. ah hah hah.

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ do you ever get an idea that you really like, but just can’t seem to finish?

YES!1!! i have this one thing in my drafts. its been here even b4 my tatbilb series and i have the intro, the rising action, the climax and the ending, but i dont have a falling action nor do i know how to smoothly tie those ideas into one.

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ what is your least favourite plot?

idk what this means really??? but uhh i dont like uhm predictable things? (like my own works 🤩) uhh i dont like when the ending is very obvious and there’s just no emotional manipulation done that can help emphasize the endings bc i like it when they’re satisfying. OH i also have this love hate relationship with cliffhangers (i dont think this is a plot???) ugH they frustrate me so much. gGrR

꒰ 🐚 ꒱ tag 5 or more people

i have no friends... i make no tag... sorry. if any of u stumble upon this and wants to do this, just go ahead and say that uve been tagged by me.

[inkskinned]

literally just a dumb unorganized list of school tips

source: im a grad student. i’ve had a lot of school. also i’m adhd & mentally ill and require +8 organization. this is mostly directed @ college students, but maybe high school students can use it too, fuck, idk, it’s been forever since i was stuck in that hell hole

just say “professor” either ur using the correct title for a person (will make them feel good) or you’re giving them a bigger title on the assumption they deserve it (which will make them feel good) and also prevents having to ever i mean ever use their names

talk at least 1 time a week in each class, aim for 1 time a day. even lecture classes. i fucking hate talking in front of more than 5 people, so what i would do is prepare a question about the hw/etc (even if i didn’t need it answered) to ask the professor after class so they saw me and got used to me and saw i was invested in their class. about 89% of teachers - if they see you try, they will pass you. i mean it’s literally that easy. i know people who went from like a c- but because they legit tried, their grade got bumped up to a b-. 

if u have to bring a laptop, pre-download the required material/screenshot it, and then turn off your wifi. it’s too easy to not listen.

physical writing will always give you more information recall over typing.

nobody cares about stupid shit anymore trust me they don’t remember that you were accidentally locked in a towel out of your room bc they have their own dumb shit that happened.... in college all the “cringe culture” turns into “god i wish that were me” culture ... wear ur onesie to a party trust me you make +800 friends and 799 of them will be girls telling you you’re adorable and they’d die for you

about locking urself out.... if ur like me and can breeze past post-it notes placed in obvious areas, don’t be a dumb bitch and rely on post-it-notes. while most schools offer 1 free lockout, dont rely on it - it once took 2 hours before someone could get to me. i was in a towel, which meant no phone. so like. anyway, what i do now is i put something on the handle of the door i have to open/unlock. i can’t just open the door w/out the thing falling down and making a loud “you dumb bitch unlock the door before u shower” sound. 

this works for all important don’t-forget it things. other obstacles i’ve used to remind myself to do something include: putting a chair with my wholeass posterboard in front of the door, an entire printer with a single piece of paper that just read “for the love of god check to be sure you have that essay”, and a recycling bin i kept forgetting to empty. guess what bitch finally emptied the bin once it was between me and a swift exit!

no offense and like the whole “it’s the best years of your life!” thing is great but in reality everything goes better scholastically when you treat it as “i came here to win, not to make friends.” i still did make friends, went to parties every weekend, was popular enough i’d be invited to several on one night - but i came there to win. when i put my scholastic life and my mental health first, i went from a 2.0 to a 3.98. yes you can, bitch.

you’re spending the money. don’t squander it. trust me when i say i know plenty of people who breeze through, bc you often can. but like. don’t. challenge yourself bc like. talk about an investment.

if you hate your major, change it. don’t make your life something you can’t stand. on that note, do NOT agree 100% to a track until you have at least some experience in the field. i cannot tell u how many ppl i know who got their whole masters/phd program done, walked into their new profession, and were like, Oh Fuck, I Can’t Live Like This.

college literally offers so many free things and if you’re not taking advantage of them whenever possible i get it but like. try to take advantage of them. this is everything from your gym (which probably has free classes dude) to clubs to like. sober events. these sober events are so ... fuckin good dude i’ve made mason jars with little plants in em... bee aviaries... candles.... go to the free stuff

oh ps on free stuff i wanna say about 4 of 5 days there’s free food on campus just look for things like job fairs, presentations, or discussion groups. also while you’re there at the job fair like. u know, go to the job fair in earnest

i took off 2 years to work and also to just. recover from my bullshit. and it took me 6 years and 3 schools to get my bachelor’s. it wasn’t easy but bitch i lived. there’s no such thing as “too long” to graduate if that’s truly what you want to do.

if on the meal plan, eat as clean as you can the first week. then introduce each part of the cafeteria’s possibly-food-poisoning-creating foods one at a time. give @ least 2 days between each experiment so you know for sure if you get sick what caused it. i literally never eat meat at school but you can still get sick off of unwashed lettuce/salad dressing that hasn’t been refrigerated properly/weirdass things you won’t even think of. this prevents like. dying in a public bathroom.

white loaf bread can be gross & boring. discount bakery section for your slightly chewy artisianal bread needs. if overstale, either toast it or dunk it into water and microwave it (unless u got an oven. use the oven if u can)

steal as many apples from the dining hall/events/etc as physically possible just do it they keep FOREVER and @ some point you’ll be like. fUCK i need a nutrition. ps if you’re keeping them in ur backpack (i wouldn’t keep more than 2) make sure to wrap w/a few paper towels so if you drop your bag you don’t get apple mush

write it all down bitch. “i’ll remember it” no you won’t. unless you are capable of remembering every idea on this list and in order, you won’t remember it. in general, if you write something 3 times, you will recall it correctly at least 80% of the time. i also read it out loud to myself, bc, you know, auditory recall

DO NOT just put your assignment at the top of your notes, unless you’re 100% sure that will work for you. in most cases, it’s much better to have a planner/agenda/place you expect to look for assignments. +7 points if you lie to yourself about deadlines and move them all up.

like not to sound too much like a DARE ad but like. if you don’t like it/don’t want it, don’t fuckin do it. the idea that “there’s nothing to do if you don’t party” is such bullshit. like i promise if you’re like “i am a grouch and want to stay in and binge netflix” about 45 ppl will show up in pjs like “bitch fullscreen it, im a grouch too.” there’s also like. the chance to just.... not overindulge. on wednesdays i have “wine wednesdays” where we sit around and drink a glass of wine while we do our hw. it’s chill and friendly instead of like. drink until u vomit. don’t feel like you either gotta slam the breaks or the gas pedal, is what i mean.

PLEASE know the signs of alcohol poisoning/overdose. most schools have a “Safety Always Matters Most” policy, which means that you can call for help w/out getting into trouble. if you think someone is in danger, act. this also goes for making sure ppl get home safe even if they’re just incapacitated, not poisoned. step in, dudes.

also just. notice when ur starting to rely on stuff too much. i’m super easily addicted to things, so i keep a healthy distance from liquor. i don’t let myself “drink to feel better” bc that’s a scary, scary thing to link to feeling better. if you or somebody u know starts drinking all the time/gets anxious if they don’t drink/drinks in the daytime .... get help. schools have counselling services for a reason.

you’re gonna get a cold/flu of some sort in the first 2 months just brace for it. in the meantime, drink vitamin c, try not to touch too many handles, and when people say “there’s something going around” believe them.

watch kaplan nike just do it 

if you can teach it, you know the material. a super good way of knowing if you studied the right way is to try and teach the material to a stuffed animal/imaginary class.

“i don’t know how to study” bitch me too the fuck. this is usually bc we’ve been taught that studying is just sitting down and staring @ ur notes. it’s not. it’s different for everyone, and you need to understand it’s 99% preventative care. if you don’t go to the class or do the homework, studying is going to fucking suck, bc you’re learning the material all at once for the first time. the place you should consider “studying” is “i’m confident in 70-90% of the material, but need to review.” do not let yourself fall behind .... just go to office hours and ask questions if ur not getting something. studying should feel like you’re remembering what you already knew but kinda forgot, not like you’ve been blindsided.

the whole “writing it down in ur own words” while u have been told this 700 times it really helps bc it means u gotta translate it through your own understanding. if you can’t, and it’s not bc the material seems too obvious to you to state in another way - ask yourself if you don’t understand the material. chances are u are missing a bit of info.

i know it’s like A Thing that Some People do but i never had the mental health points for it but i know some people just take 15 minutes after every class to review their notes. since i’m 100% early to every class ever, obnoxiously so, i try to do it before class. having the last class’s notes up in my head super helps. like. put down the phone i know you’re socially anxious me too but review those notes. chances are if u start flipping through pages other ppl will too. this is also fun bc as soon as you start this whole thing, at least one person will be like “is there a test?” no bitch there’s no test but im gonna be ready when there is!

literally so much of success is fucking posturing i could link about 800 peer-edited studies that show that when a student is expected to do well (and knows they are), they do well. like i literally didn’t change my appearance at all, never bothered to look nice (once winter hits i wear 67 layers all the time), but when i showed up after my 2 years off from school, i presented myself with the whole “i came here to win” vibe and people... really respected me? i mean in hs i remember ppl saying shit like “yeah, well, you aren’t gonna have the homework”. by the time i was in college i had an honest-to-god conversation which included someone being like “so tell me what you’re overachieving at right now” like they just expected it from me. wild.

i live by “bite off more than you can chew, and then CHEW IT” but it’s probably unhealthy. the truth is that i have a lot of energy all the time (lmao adhd!!!) and i used to get told i was “trying too hard” and for a long time (still???) i didn’t (i don’t?) know what that was, you know, bc i had a D average, clearly i wasn’t trying. it turns out i was just. putting all my energy into stuff that wasn’t making me happy like toxic friendships etc. when i decided “nope, all this energy is for me and my schoolwork”..... uhhhhh suddenly i was a golden child and everyone praised my try-hardness ... it’s a fuckt up system tbh

take at least 1 class just for fun. i try to do that every semester. it helps break up all the requirements. if you’re like an engineer and got no time or credits left to spend, try to audit your fun course.

make ur advisor love you i don’t care what it takes make them cupcakes show up to thank them i dONT CARE just do it 

the library isn’t always the best place. if i start getting anxious bc i pavlovian train myself that library=work, i find a new place to go to do hw. try to go outside if you can!!! not like where i live bc like it’s snow all the time but try. a little green really really really helps depression. 

if you’ve been in the same “Studying” place for 1 hour and haven’t done anything the chances are Something Isn’t Right. first, look @ ur body. are you not focusing bc of some pressing physical need? sometimes just taking a shower and coming back helps. are you uncomfy? are you too comfy and going to sleep? if body okay, look @ the material. do you not understand it? do you just need to switch to a new topic for a little bit? can you find a youtube video that will help you better understand it? make notes on what you don’t get so you can ask in the next class. if it’s not the material, it’s not ur bod, check the Actual Space. sometimes just getting up, going for a short walk to a new place, and trying it there actually? really works? if none of this is working.... try ur brain next. hardest to reset bc like, what, turn it on and off again? i use things like caffeine, a short workout, a nap, or a podcast all to just... give me a little boost. 

don’t be afraid to leave. i mean this about class, friend groups, and the college ur at. just get up on outta there if ur not feelin it. i cannot recommend “drop the class” enough. even if it’s a required course see if u can switch the times if u hate the professor day 3 it’s not gonna get better just get the fuCK out

don’t nap in the same position u go to sleep in, nap upside down w/ur head away from ur pillow. don’t ask me why but it works to 1. fall asleep faster 2. make sure u sleep okay at night and 3. wake up less annoyed 

on that note don’t ever do anything in ur bed in a sleeping position unless it’s genuinely sleeping in it. body will get confused. just sit up, lazybones.

when/if the library has those therapy dogs during finals week.... just go pet them make the time for it

ask before hugging people, but don’t expect a “yes”

get a backpack that fits and doesn’t hurt ur back u fuckin hippie idc how cool it is to wear ur backpack super low just don’t do it it’s not worth it

the tutoring center is a fucking goldmine.... free essay edits my dudes

bring a fan dorms are always hotter than u expect

switch dorms if u can if u realize ur in the wrong room/wrong roomate like just don’t bother with nonsense

when in doubt, follow preschool rules. tell ppl when they did something cool, just ask when u need help, and be confident even in your mistakes, because at least u tried

#anyway

[yung-gunshot]

In questions!

thank you denna @kisamas

1. What takes up too much of your time? rn its mainly vibeo game and anime. i still play djmax respect like almost every single day plus also playing ace combat 5 & 7 and i recently finished watching ergo proxy which was pretty cool

2. What makes your day better? cooking something yummy like pasta or curry makes my day better and just generally playing games something that distracts me from my problems at the moment

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? i made pasta with sausage, broccoli, and spinach for dinner and it was really good 

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? hm i havent really thought about this but i think it would be cool to see the netsphere from blame! but without being involved in all the fucked up stuff i just love the architecture 

5. Are you good at giving advice? i would like to think so but none of my friends i know irl reach out to me so maybe i think not i just speak bollocks 

6. Do you have a mental illness? hm not sure, i never got officially diagnosed but im pretty sure i may have developed depression ever since i graduated hs

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? i dont think i have 

8. What musician inspires you the most? not sure about musicians but deathgrips and jpegmafia have kinda inspired me at the moment just because they make whatever they want without being afraid of what people think of them

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yea its happened twice now

10. What’s your dream date? i dont really think about this just because i dont think it will ever happen but i think just hanging out and going hiking anywhere would be nice and i really enjoy checking out new places to eat in town

11. What do others notice about you? not really sure about this question tbh maybe that im really easy to get along with? and i dont like the fact that i exist outside of my own perception 

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? isolation? but also i tend to bounce my leg and play with my hair a lot

13. Do you still talk to your first love? nope 

14. How many exes do you have? 2

15. How many songs are in your playlist? im not really sure i just have 3 playlists on spotify that most songs go to depending on the mood they are pretty huge though so id say at least 100 per playlist

16. What instruments can you play? i used to be able to play the trumpet in elementary 

17. What do you have the most pictures of? i have lots of landscape pics from the places i go camping and hiking then its just anime girls memes etc

18. Where would you like to go before you die? i think it would be really nice to see japan, korea, and indonesia plus also visit every national park here in the us and some parts in mexico like cancun and puebla 

19. What’s your zodiac? aquarius 

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes but most of the time i think its stupid 

21. What is happiness to you? just living a life where i dont have to maintain a certain image of myself and free from the pressures of modern day life and capitalism 

22. Are you going through anything right now? yea i still havent registered for fall classes yet and also havent been able to find a job either and i lost my friendship with my best friend a month ago

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? i think telling my best friend i grew feelings for them is by far the worst thing ive done to date and its just something im never going to forgive myself for

24. What’s your favorite store? winco, samber and la chiquita (local hispanic stores) and grocery outlet

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? pro

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nope

27. Do you have a favorite album? ive had a few as my all time fav like Emily’s D+Evolution , To Pimp A Butterfly and Toxicity, rn though im really enjoying Dog Whistle by Show Me the Body, Infest the Rats’ Nest by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and Veteran by Jpegmafia

28. What do you want for your birthday? maybe some new cardigans and candles would be nice

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? i think people see me as a quiet and distant person because i dont talk that often when meeting new people

30. What age do you seem according to most people? my age (21) -/+ 1

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? i keep it on the corner of my bed next to my head

32. What word do you say the most? bollocks, bellend, fuck, worm 

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 25

34. What’s the youngest you would date? maybe 20 but they would have to be a very specific type of person for me to consider dating them, safe bet with 21

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? art teacher

36. What’s your favorite music genre? it used to be hip hop for a really long time but now i like rock and metal but really ill listen to anything except for country and edm. ive also just been listening to a ton of vibeo game and anime music too 

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? i honestly think if the world wasn’t dictated by money i would want to live in mexico or japan tbh i like the us but just for the nature and landscapes 

38. What is your current favorite song? Camp Orchestra by Show Me the Body

39. How long have you had this blog for? i think i started in the middle or end of 2015

40. What are you excited for? i cant really say im looking forward for anything other than death stranding coming out and the dlc for ace combat 7

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think im a better listener than i am a talker bc when i talk i cant even understand what im saying sometimes. listening is much more important to me bc i can actually process what people are saying 

42. What was the last productive thing you did? i talked to my adviser today and made some food and took my dog out for a walk at the park

43. What do you want for Christmas? i would like more board games to play with my cousins and friends and maybe some new pants too

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i dont know about best grades but its usually my painting and drawing courses 

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 5

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? i honestly dont know and the only thing that comes to mind is being a teacher? i just live day to day 

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i guess after i graduated hs we were talking before we graduated but things sorta fell apart and i realized my feelings a bit too late to change anything 

48. What age do you want to get married? not sure since i cant see myself being taken seriously enough to want to marry but i guess ill say any age before 40

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i dont quite remember but i recall wanting to do space travel so maybe an astronaut? or astronomer

50. What do you crave right now? emotional stability, some taro milk tea, and more pasta\

im gonna tag @deredere @euthymiclurker and @dementatree :)

#a lot of the questions i honestly didnt know how to answer sorry if they were trash

[cherubsoda]

sorry this is so late and technically,,,i’m breaking the rules but,, im booboo the fool

i just wanted to thank @robotarmjokes​ for setting this event up and @dokiquents​ and @heartstringsymphonies​ for tagging me!

What got you into self inserting? Was it something you’ve always done, or something you were inspired to do?

From a pretty young age i would kinda insert myself in the place of the main protagonist (the most prominent instances i can think of would be haruhi from ohshc or tohru from fruits basket ^^; i kinned hard) or i’d envision myself as a pokemon trainer or something but i think everyone did at one point ajhfdegl

i never really knew self shipping was a thing, i was always like “lmao what if...” and would read reader insert fics but i really got into self inserting/shipping in middle school when my friend mentioned it one day over a phone call. She was like “i think you and __ would be good together” or “i kinda see you with __...”; after that, our convos went from 3 minute talks to 2-3 hours :0! 

At that time, I did it for fun but now i definetly use it to cope and such and ngl i have no idea where id be without this sort of self love and indulgence! Self shipping brought me closer to my best friend and like wow thats kinda dorky but I couldn’t be happier ♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ♪) I didn’t know there was a whole community dedicated to this though, and i mean, i haven’t experienced anything horrible yet so yknow.

For some of us, aesthetic is key. Do you have a theme or an aesthetic for your self insert content

Aesthetically, my f/os kinda have the same traits bc i have a type,, i hope this isnt breaking the rules bc i kinda am talking about my f/os but many times my f/os are associated with the color red and i think that’s why i like red so much now? So, the moodboards i make usually include the color red, and i associate myself/self insert with pink or red (blue irl);

i honestly enjoy the short/tall/big/small trope and i typically play the uwu sweet, mary-sue s/o and try to help the sad boi characters bc,, real pisces hours (sunshine gf and goth bf). BUT i love to make my s/i a fucking,,, op motherfucker bc man,, irl me sucks ass!!! give me godlike powers and lemme ride that dick!!!

im a huge angst monster though my friend admitted that i made her cry a few times when i sent her headcanons/short writings or over call like sorry but also heehee

What’s your favourite way of self inserting? Do you like to write, or draw, or make content via other means?

every so often, i’ll make moodboards! i enjoy drawing but i feel like im limited and rarely post my art bc i’m too anxious to show my art, plus they dont get notes so im like ok nevermind sasdfjkag

i actually have a few sideblogs dedicated to headcanons that i write but they're on (probably) permanent hiatus bc i got lazy, busy, and i didn’t feel like my writing was up to par,, you can go check them out though: @org13reactions was my kh blog and @megatwunk was supposed to be a ffvii/xv blog lmao theres only like 1 thing on it though sorry yall 

other than that, my friend and i can talk for hours almost every night about our f/os and story ideas so yeehaw. i guess thats just roleplaying HHAEGAFA

Friends are very important. Have you made any friends within the community?

ngl im pretty antisocial within this community and im really anxious to interact with other people like i try to but,, idk i dont wanna bother anyone!

the person i feel the most comfortable with is my friend that introduced me to self shipping, 

im not very close to anyone in the community but again!!! @dokiquents and @heartstringsymphonies have been really kind to me and ill talk to momo every so often and theyre super sweet and chill! and i joined @cryptidchaos‘ self ship discord when i first entered this community! so thanks so much to yall! 

i’d love to talk to more people but i know we’re all anxious mfs on this site so it’s ok and i love yall bc i can see you in my notifications :’D

#self insert positivity day 3 #Self Insert #self ship #self ship community #cherub cheeps