#one day i'll fucking figure all this out right? one day. i'm visiting him next weekend for a few days

[maggotwithanf]

red fucking alert guys someone's flirting with my longtime crush by sending him editions of gay wwi poetry. i can't compete

#i give up #lol #:/ #tagged under “yeah man the guy i post about. that guy” #one day i'll fucking figure all this out right? one day. i'm visiting him next weekend for a few days #now why is my immediate response “fine then i give up. i'm so tired. god. fuck” #we've had a ???!!!????? going for almost a year?? bffs with bffenefits? #he's one of my closest pals #but he also is a) a hopeless romantic and #b) ugh man this is the guy who looks me in the eyes saying “pls murderboner i need a big dick goth man. dick optional” and “ur my favorite” #saying shit like “50% of gays don't know when ppl are flirting with them” and “i wanna be someone's mr darcy” and “if only we'd worked out” #i'm tired man wtf #maybe i'll just slam some negronis next weekend and be like [REDACTED] HOW DO YOU GODDAMN FEEL ABOUT ME. BE REAL FOR ONCE #but. DO I EVEN LIKE HIM #my heart is getting like fatigued just typing this fuck man i give up

[melonn-soda]

Kinktober Day 3 - Dazai Osamu

word count: 3.2k

warnings: HATE SEX, dubcon, cuffing, overstim, slight dumbification, edging, dazai calls u petnames and he's an ass, reader is a slight brat, bottom cis male reader, top ftm dazai

prompt: dazai visits his favorite mafia member and gives him a little reunion gift

notes: READ WITH CAUTION, THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK THEMES. tell me if there's any other warnings I should add, please. sorry these prompts are super fucking late. different texting style but I'll go back after kinktober prompts are all posted. still currently working on the other ones because this is taking longer than expected. too much plot going on with them lmao. anyways, I'm tired of ftm characters always being on the bottom, so I contribute this. trans dazai canon because I'm trans and I said so.

fem aligned dni

The air blew a cold breeze around Yokohama, chilling the residents of the city and keeping them locked up inside their homes. Nobody went outside without some sort of extra layer to protect themselves from the chill of the atmosphere, either wearing jackets or hoodies over shirts when they strolled down the streets. Dazai Osamu blew hot air into his palms to warm them up as he walked down the sidewalk, eyeing every shop that was on his right. The bakery he passed by was closing down due to lack of patrons and he made sure to get some pastries for Atsushi, Ranpo, and himself beforehand. Some clothing shops were bathing in money because of the upcoming fall and winter seasons approaching faster with people preparing for the cold days by purchasing thick layered clothes. Every store was having its own ups and downs at the moment.

Even with all the tempting things he could buy, he still passed by most of them until he was at the edge of the city, with fewer people and cars coming in and out of this area. There were a few supply trucks coming in and out because of all the supply shipments coming in but that was going to be all. However, Dazai didn’t come to the warehouse for no reason. After all, he always went to somewhere that had a purpose.

He walked through the gates without anyone stopping him, walking to a particular warehouse before pushing the doors open. It was dark and gloomy in the place, yet felt strangely warm from the contrasting colder outside weather. Dazai made sure his steps were slow and quiet, keeping his presence minorly hidden to avoid getting himself hurt if someone were to attack him. He made sure to peek around the corners of supply crates to make sure no one was going to blast bullets directly at his face, eyes scanning with caution in every area he invaded.

A loud clang alerted his senses, and the sound of sizzling came humming after. Dazai’s intuition was right, he was here doing exactly as he thought he would. Footsteps increasing in speed, he rushed towards the source of the sound, still making sure to look over corners rather than going in head-on. Since he wasn’t that far away from his target, it didn’t take him long to get there, seeing the person he was looking for with a mischievous smile. Oh, how he missed seeing his face.

The burned part of a shipping container was melted off in the shape of a circle, laying on the ground as the material was still a glowing red before returning to its original color. The man who stood next to it, the person who caused the eruption of a loud noise from metal hitting cement was none other than his long lost Port Mafia ex-coworker. [l.name], [name]. So many memories were shared with that boy since they’ve known each other since their teens. 

Dazai watched you step into the shipping container, following after you and watching as you rummaged through products, putting multiple things up to inspect before putting them back in place. He knew which product you were looking for and where it was, eyes landing on the box before flicking back onto your figure. With silent steps, he walked in, but once his other foot was placed inside, a loud creak was made and it alerted you to fire a burst of flames that shot out from your palms. Dazai, of course, saw it coming as he leaned so that he narrowly missed it, feeling the heat on his chest before grabbing your wrist and moving his weight around to get himself behind you and out to safety before using his foot to swipe and make you lose your balance. Alarmed and unprepared, you fell onto your stomach as Dazai moved your arm behind you mid-fall, getting your hands effectively pinned against your back.

“Ah~, [name], always so reliant on his ability. It was always your biggest flaw, y’know?” Dazai began to tease, pressing his knee against your lower back to keep you on the ground. He watched you try and wriggle out of his hold, knowing that you were too physically weak to actually break free. Weaker than him, I dare say.

“Dazai! What the fuck are you doing here? Let me go!” You scowled, glaring at him over your shoulder, cheek pressing against the cold metal. Your eyes still held the deep fire as always, so bright whenever you got fired up or even mad. The ex-Port Mafia executive always found that really cute about you, but he never really admitted it out loud, only doing it if he wanted to get a reaction out of you.

“Looking for you, of course!” He chimed with a playful smile, one that always managed to piss you off, “I figured you would be here looking for that really important document from overseas, but I can’t have you getting your hands on it. After all, we’re enemies, are we not? I have to do everything in my power to foil your devious plans.”

You tried thrashing around a little harder as he spoke, not wanting to see or even be within a 100-foot radius of this man, “Can’t you just leave me be this once, you fucking psychopath!?” You yelled out, clearly upset with the predicament you found yourself in. Chuuya really needed those papers and if he found out you didn’t even get the chance to find them, you don’t want to know how mad he might get.

“Oh my, is that the way you should be talking to your past loving boyfriend?” The brunet gasped in mock offense, leaning in a little closer to your ear.

Your face flared slightly at the closeness, “Past!! We’re not dating anymore, sicko. We broke it off the minute you left the Mafia, or have you forgotten?” You glowered at him, “For years, I’ve wondered where and how you were, only to get a message from an unknown number that told me we can’t be together anymore. I knew it was you because of your texting style.”

“But I can tell that you still want me,” Dazai continued to poke around with your feelings, not caring about any of the consequences that might follow after. He heard you immediately deny it all within a seconds notice but, “Oh, but you do still desire me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be blushing so hard over me just whispering thiiis~ close to your ear.” He chuckles as you shift your face so that he couldn’t see it.

“Just get the hell off of me.” You threatened weakly, feeling him shift around slightly while still on top of you.

You could hear Dazai sigh in what seemed to be in disappointment before he yanked you up and got you to sit on his lap. Dazai was sitting on the floor and you could feel your face grow even hotter as his body pressed against yours even more in this position.

“Y’know, I could really care less about you taking those documents. I didn’t come here to stop you either,” The detective told you, causing your eyes to widen and look back at him, “I only decided to foil your plans because I wanted to see you again. Do things we never got to do with you. For instance,” with a pause, one of his hands let go of your wrists and teasingly slid down your waist, getting dangerously close to your sex, “now that we’re adults, you can lose yourself to me.”

The last parts of his words were said in a whisper, causing a shiver to go down your spine as your lips pursed to suppress a whine. However, your body decided to show your true feelings you held towards the brunet with your dick hardening and sensitivity going to overdrive. You still loved Dazai, you really did, but you didn’t expect to react this way. Maybe it was because of the stress from the Port Mafia? I mean, it has been months since you’ve last jerked off.

“Oh dear, it seems like you're getting excited.” Dazai chuckled next to your left ear, his hand gently brushing against your crotch as you let out a whimper, “and your sounds are just the cutest.~ I’ve been imagining this scenario so many times, and now that it’s happening, it’s hard to believe that it’s ending up like this.”

A strained moan left your lips as you could feel his hand press harder against the tip of your cock, head falling forward in shame over turning into putty from just his voice and soft touches alone. In a near desperate tone, you still attempted to resist his efforts, “S-stop- this isn’t right-!”

“You may say so but your lovely body still craves my touch.” You could feel his fingers undo your pants and slip into your underwear, his cold touch coming into contact with your blistering heat, “You still desire me, otherwise, why would you still keep pictures of me on your wall after so many years, huh?”

“Go.. ah- fuck yourself.” You growled, a loud wince ripping through your throat at a particular tug at your cock, your back unconsciously arching and the back of your head hitting against Dazai’s shoulder, “Shit, shit, shit!”

“When did you become such a brat?” Dazai huffed out annoyingly, “Have you been spending too much time with that stupid slug? It looks like he’s beginning to rub off on you.” His hand picked up in pace and technique with a squeal of surprise coming from your mouth causing the brunet to smile slightly, “Ah, but I think it might make breaking you even more enjoyable.~”

Tears began to spill from your eyes from the stimulation, whining and moaning pathetically in Dazai’s hold as he continued to pump your cock. He even noticed that you stopped retaliating against his ministrations, fully submitting from the pleasure racking your brain into a state of stupidity. God, you looked so good like this.

“Fuck!” You suddenly yelled, thighs quivering around Dazai’s legs, “I’m close, ‘Samu- can’t take anymore-!” Words slurring like you were drunk, your hips bucked to bring yourself to your release.

Much to your dismay, Dazai pulled his hand out of your pants promptly, causing you to whine in protest, “Not just yet, lovely. I wanna see you scream and beg me for mercy as I dumb you down into oblivion.” He whispered sweetly though menacingly, causing you to shudder in delight.

Within a blink of an eye, he slammed you back down on the cold metal floors face first, taking out handcuffs from his back pocket and locking them on your wrists. You took the time to catch your breath as he got up away from you to dig into one of the containers, pulling out a black box with gold lining on it. 

He took a seat next to your slumped figure with a mischievous smile on his face, opening the box and pulling out a solid black strap-on and a bottle of lube. The dildo was about 5-inches in length as far as you could tell, although there was nothing on the other side to please Dazai. Did he just buy that thing only to watch you become fucked out in ecstasy?

Dazai grabbed a bag of toy-cleaning wipes from the box as well, making sure to wipe the strap-on down as he continued to look at you deviously, “Do you like my surprise, lovely? Are you excited?”  He asked, removing some of his clothes to place the toy around his pelvis.

Your dick twitched in anticipation, drool pooling on the ground as you looked dazedly at the sheer size of it, “However,” Dazai interrupted, “Because you’re a virgin, you’ll have to wait. After all, you’re nothing but my fragile little doll. As much as I would love to see you crumble, I wanna take my time shattering you.” He smirked, popping open the bottle and spilling its contents over his long, pretty fingers.

Positioning himself behind you, he gently grabbed your hips with his non-lubed fingers to lift your ass up into the air. Pushing only one of his fingers in your hole, he continued to pour lube consistently onto his hands to keep your insides from tearing. It wasn’t even 30 seconds before he found your prostate, pressing on it harshly to see you jolt and gasp, easily making you into nothing but a plaything. Even still, the fucker avoided it on purpose for the next few minutes of stretching you out. He added finger after finger when he saw you ready for the next, but wouldn’t even press that specific area. 

After what seemed like an hour of teasing, he pulled out his fingers as you trembled on the cold floors. He wiped his fingers on the inner parts of his trench coat, hands then finding themselves on your waist to make it so you could feel the silicon against your thighs that were pressed together. You don’t know if you were enjoying this, or hating this.

“You ready, dollface?” He asked you, hands sliding up your chest and pulling you up so that your back came into contact with his body. You could feel the toy slip through your thighs for a brief second before he positioned it so that the tip could press against your hole, pressing lightly against your rim as you let out a shaky moan.

Glaring at him from the corner of your eye, you growled, “Just put it in, you asshole.” Maybe Chuuya has begun to influence your attitude.

With a grin, Dazai shoved you down onto the silicon dick without any lousy comebacks, causing a loud wince to fall from your lips. From the tip of the cock pressing against your prostate, you wailed pathetically in desire as your body was beginning to give up, letting your torso fall back onto the ground with a light thud. Your limbs started to feel like jelly, trembling terribly as Dazai pressed his hips even closer, reaching even deeper as you sobbed out in pleasure.

“Ah-! F-fuck-” You cried as Dazai began to pull out briefly before rocking his hips into yours repeatedly, setting a rhythm for himself. Incoherent ramblings spilled out of your cute lips as he continued to press against your prostate, your body feeling extremely heated.

“Oh, aren’t you just the prettiest little thing?” He cooed into your ear, one of his hands trailing up from your hips and to your nipple, pinching and pulling on it lightly to stimulate you further. He brought it up to his mouth to wet those fingers then returned them onto your chest, the slight chill making you shiver when the cold air brushed underneath your shirt, “So sensitive, too. I hope I’m the first person to see you like this.”

“U-urgh~... Dazai..” Words slurring and hiccups turning into broken moans spurred the brunet even further, pistoning his hips even better when he took ahold of one of your ankles and lifted it into the air with ease. You were just so cute like this.

“Osamu.”

Staccato moans turned into full on wails as you could feel the tip of the dildo poke at your prostate, sending you into a mess of tears and babbling nonsense. It was too much. It was all so much for you. From the edging Dazai did earlier, the pent up stress from being in the mafia, now the dick inside you that was ramming you into stupidity, you could feel yourself getting close to your orgasm. And fuck, if it didn’t come fast.

You were sobbing thick tears as cum spilled out of your pathetic excuse of a dick, seeing Dazai’s face contort into one of amusement as you came all over the floor. Body shaking from the heightened stimulation, you wanted a break, wailing at him in hopes to tell him to at least slow down.

You should really know better, though, because he’s an asshole and would do anything in his power to watch you crumble for his own entertainment. And you acting like you hated him only motivated him to fuck you even harder. So here he was, bending your left leg so that your knee nearly touched your chest while continuing to move his hips at his brutal pace. It didn’t help that his toy kept pressing into your sensitive spot either.

“W-wait! Nnng!” You cry out, fingernails digging into the metal of the shipping container, “Osa- ah! Osamu, sl-slow down-!” Your voice squeaked as he used his hand that was on your hip to press down hard against your tummy, feeling the tip of the silicon dick disappear and come back.

The agency member giggled, raising that same hand and wiping away the abundance of tears flowing down your face, “Look at you~ just so adorable and begging for me to stop. Don’t you remember what I said? ‘I wanna see you scream and beg me for mercy as I dumb you down into oblivion.’” The attitude in his voice becoming condescending and dark.

His hand travelled down to grasp your dick, causing you to bite your bottom lip to quiet down the scream that nearly left your lips. Almost too quickly, your cock hardened once more with tears flowing down the sides of your face from overstimulation. Dazai only gave you a shit-eating smirk while he looked down at your pitiful face, feeling a rush of excitment through his veins.

God, you should’ve taken the day off.

…

Dazai took off the strap on with ease, letting it fall back into the box, shiny with lube and Dazai’s own slick. He didn’t care about his own orgasmic pleasures, just wanted to see you once more, even if that meant fucking you stupid. He wasn’t lying when he said that. Dazai was cruel, there’s no doubt about it. However, he still had the courtesy to clean you up with multiple wet wipes and redress you. Too bad he couldn’t do anything about the bruises and bite marks littered beautifully across your sleeping form.

The brunet pulled up his pants and closed the box with the sex toy in it, holding it by pressing it against his side while his other hand fished his phone out of his trench coat’s pocket. Quickly, as if he remembered the phone number by heart, he dialed one of your co-worker’s digits and his phone began to ring.

“Who is this?”

“Chuuya!” Dazai said in a chippy tone, hearing the other groan and spit out a “what do you want?” in response, “Well- for starters, [name] is in a shipping container, currently knocked out. You know, the one you wanted him to check? Could you be a good friend and pick him up safely? Oh! But be careful, he’s a little sore in the lower half.”

“What the hell did you do to him!?” Chuuya barked on the other side of the line, Dazai hearing him kick open doors to rush over to where his coworker is.

“Just a little reunion gift.” Dazai singsonged, pressing the “end call” button before he could hear his long time friend yell again, “Man, they sure are becoming too similar. I’ll have to fix that.”

#bottom male reader #male reader #x bottom male reader #x male reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x male reader #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x male reader #bsd x reader #kinktober 2023 #sub male reader #bsd anime

[mellowwillowy]

Omg i love your work😭😭 especially Yulian he's crazy but he's sooo sweet🥹 and you write him so well fr

I was wondering how'd he react if his darling decides that they wanna break up with him / get a divorce,, or they start to feel like he's hiding something from them which causes them to doubt him. But I feel like he would 100% gastlight them first.

Chances of divorce in Utopia is 0 honey :)

But let's talk about Dystopia.

Yan! Lawyer Husband - GN Spouse Reader

Yes, Yulian will corner the fuck out of you mentally as much as he hates it. He should have picked up on the signs earlier and yet he paid no mind to it until you exploded, again.

The reason was simple, you doubted him.

It all started from a suspicion of his absence, the rumors circulating around him and the voice in your head yelling you to leave him.

'That man is no good! Leave him before it's too late again!'

"Where were you dear?"

"Duty called dear. I'm sorry for leaving you alone for a long time yeah?"

"I asked everyone around and they told me that you were absent for the 5 days. Where were you if you were not in the court nor your office?"

Yulian didn't expect you to bother questioning around, mentally adding another note to bribe everyone next time.

"I was visiting another place, the client did not like leaving his curb so I had to visit him myself, I'm sorry I didn't notify you earlier dear."

Yulian's hand creeped into your cheek, caressing it gently while giving you an apologetic smile. The smile that always makes you shrug all your doubts and worries away.

But not today.

"This is not the first time this has happened, Yulian."

Yulian jolted. You were glaring at him. The face that he rarely sees from you, the face that he never expected to see from you. You.

"Dear?"

'You know right? This man right here is nothing but a swindler!'

"Why do you always lie to me?"

'How many secrets has he hidden from you? Better yet, why is he keeping you in the dark?'

"Always, always, always lying. I had enough of you, Yulian. This is not the first I have confronted you and this is not the first out of your many lies that I haven't confronted you about."

'Stay away from him.'

"I want a divorce."

'Run.'

"Di... vorce?"

Yulian's face darkened. A face you had never seen before.

"Divorce?"

"Yes."

'Run!'

Yulian sat down, his eyes traveling toward anywhere but you. He took in a shaky breath before exhaling it in fury. No, it was not directed at you. It was directed at himself for being slow and dumb. A fool no less.

"I'll have Aava packed my stuffs today. I will hand you the papers for you to sign later." You paid no mind to his slumped figure, leaving him.

"No..." Yulian stopped you in your track, his hand holding your wrist tightly. "Don't leave me alone again."

"Is it not supposed to be directed at you instead?"

Yulian winced. You were right but he was right as well. What should he do? What should he do?

What he should do.

"Dear..." Yulian stood up to his feet, "don't you think you are being a bit too hasty?"

"Wha-?"

"Over something so menial," he knew he shouldn't word it like that, "I was trying my best you know? I tried my best to wrap up everything quickly but I just can't not attend to duties such as this."

He was driving you into the corner again.

"If this is the same word game you are playing with me then it's not working on me anymore."

"No, this is the truth we are talking about," Yulian's hand cupped your cheek, "I know you have it hard, but I too, am troubled from it. Do you perhaps view me as an irrespobsible man who leaves his spouse because he feels like it?"

What?

'Run, leave him, just leave him!'

"Have you always viewed me like that dear? I can't fathom how you... thought of me like that even just for the slightest."

Was it not supposed to be the other way around?

"You, you are the one who always thinks of me like that!"

"How could you even say that?"

How could you even say that to me then?

'Stop listening to him!'

Yulian's hands clasped your ears, his face close to yours.

"How could you even think of something so shallow?"

'ADAMMMMMMM!!!!'

"Have you never even considered my love to be real just even for once?"

You don't feel like thinking anymore. You don't feel like listening to them both anymore.

"Don't worry dear, I'll make sure to ease those doubts away. Just listen to me and everything will be alright."

'Do----'

Yes, that sounds just right. Right?

"How about you take those pills first?"

Yes, they always calm you down.

#theatric guest #LIfE Project #yandere oc #yandere x reader #oc #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere x you #x reader #reader insert #x gn reader #Yulian the Corruption

[fooled-around-and-fell]

Home Bound

Summary: You're finally "visiting" your parents after 5 years of not coming home, and you run into a certain someone you forgot is living next door.

Genre: fluff, also angsty

Pairing: neighbor!Joel Miller x female reader

Disclaimer: Joel is a contractor in his 40s, your dad is retired in his 60s, your age is not specified, but in my head it's about 27 up.

warnings: none

Masterlist

-----

5 years ago...

"You should get out there and chase your dreams."

"Yeah right," You snort. "Like I have them."

"Yes, you do," Joel says, "What about creating your own business? You always said you want one of your own."

You sigh. "I do, but I don't even know what business that will be. I'm just not an entrepreneur, I can't do it."

He frowns, caressing your hair. "So what are you gonna do? Stay here and mope around?"

"I'll figure it out eventually. And don't say that, that's mean."

He smiles and starts leaving kisses down your neck. "Sorry sweetheart. Let me make it up to you."

-----

"There she is!" Your dad welcomes you with open arms. "How is my little girl?"

You hug him back and chuckle, "Hi dad."

"Oh she's not so little anymore." Your mom swats your dad away and hugs you. "Have you eaten at all? You must be hungry from your flight."

"No, mom, I'm okay."

"Sorry we couldn't pick you up," Your dad helps you with your luggages, "Your mother here forgot she invited like 50 people for a random gathering so she's been working her ass off cooking all day- Wow, did you bring home your entire apartment or something?"

"50 people?" You take your luggages from him, ignoring his comment. "Why? Are we celebrating something?"

Your mom sighs and shakes her head. "Your father is overreacting. I just invited a few friends over because I can....and our neighbor, Joel."

"Our neighbor-"

"Knock knock," A familiar voice makes its way into your house with a bottle of wine, whiskey, and pie in his hands. "Thought I'd come in early to help you out with-"

"Joel."

You're a little glad he hasn't changed since you last saw him. His hair is still the same, he kept his scruff, and he still has that worn-out shirt you used to wear after he fucked you out of your mind.

He's staring back at you with the same look. Longing and wanting nothing more than to devour each other, but knowing it shouldn't happen. You feel betrayed by what he did, and he feels guilty for pushing you away.

"Joel! So nice of you to come and help out." Your dad pats his back. Joel has always been close to your dad, he likes to help out with fixing your dad's car, lifting anything heavy, anything really.

"Sorry," Joel says, "I didn't realize you were uh- you-"

"Nonsense, you're welcome at any time. You remember my daughter," your dad motions at you who's standing behind him. "Remember Joel, honey? He drove you to the college dance when I couldn't."

"Of course, I remember, dad." You smile. He also fucked me in the back of his car after that.

And if it wasn't clear before, your dad has no idea you used to have a thing with Joel. Your dad leaves for the kitchen with the things Joel brought over, and that leaves you with him by the door.

It was awkward.

You don't want to leave him just like that, because part of you does still long to hug him, kiss him, and just take him then and there, but you wonder if he still feels the same.

Isn't it kind of pathetic to still feel the same after three years? After he shut you out of his life and pushed you away the way he did? You're still incredibly hurt by it even though you know he thought he was doing what was best for you.

"I uh," Joel wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. "I didn't know you were coming home."

You hum. What, were you going to avoid me if you knew? You bite back your rhetorical question when your mom calls for Joel from the kitchen. You take that as a chance to slip away into your bedroom and shower. A cold one is much needed.

-----

5 years ago...

"Why don't you apply to that job you've been talking about so much?"

You furrow your brows. "The one in New York?"

"Yeah, the high payin' job?"

"It's in New York."

"So?"

"So?" You repeat him and chuckle. "I can't go to New York."

"Why not? You'll get plenty of experience, you can live out your 20s, you know. Have fun and all that."

You frown. "If I'm reading this right, it sounds like you want me to go to New York. Or anywhere else for that matter."

"Look, sweetheart," He takes a deep breath. "I'm in my 40s, my life is good here. I've got a good job, it's what I want to do.. All I'm saying is, it took me some time to find my passion, so you should get out there and figure that out for yourself."

"Why are you so sure that my life is out there? What if it's here? In Austin? With you?"

"And what if it's not?" Joel's voice raised a little. "Sweetheart, I can't be the reason you're not living your best life. I don't ever want to hold you back like that."

You're trying to hold your tears back. "You're not, Joel. This is my choice, I want to stay in Austin-"

"You're going to New York." He says sternly with his eyes closed. "And whatever we have now ends here."

"Wait, what?"

He grabs his keys from the table, gets up, and leaves the cafe. That's about the last time you ever saw Joel because he kept avoiding you after that. And of course, you left for New York.

-----

You slip on your maroon dress, modest enough for a family (and now friends) dinner, and prepare yourself to go down and greet the guests.

Maybe you can fake being sick after the flight, but it's gonna be another problem because your parents are gonna give you shit about that. Plus, you do kind of want to see Joel.

You mainly want him to see you in the dress you're wearing.

As you're going down the stairs, you pause as you hear chatter and laughter from Joel. Wait, what if Joel's seeing someone? You hadn't taken that into consideration. What if he has a girlfriend, or even a wife and a baby? What if he's managed to build an entire family in the past 5 years and all you've been doing during that time is.. mope around, having meaningless relationships while thinking about him, and how much you miss but hate him at the same time?

Your shoulders slump. He probably doesn't feel the same. How can he feel the same? It's been 5 years, grow up and get a grip. You've just been delusional all this time.

Your mother spots you sitting on the staircase and smiles fondly. "Honey, you feeling alright?"

You hum. "Just... stress."

"Aw," she coos, sitting next to you and handing you her glass of wine. "I'm so proud of you, you know. Getting that big job in New York and going there all by yourself, must've been so scary. I would've been too scared and gone straight home."

You smile bitterly. That's another secret you haven't told anyone yet. You actually quit your job a few months ago and have been working and taking barista classes at the cafe by your old apartment. You brought a few suitcases for a week's worth of visit because you're.. not actually visiting. You haven't told your parents that you're moving back in to open a cafe with the cafe owner in New York.

"Oh what would I do to just keep you here for a little longer." She pinches your nose. "Come on, you should meet new friends we've made over the years."

Your mom pulls you into the kitchen and you can see Joel in your backyard, talking to your dad, and a couple other people, standing real close to a woman. Your grip on that wine glass tightens.

A few hours into the party, you're finally alone in the living room while the rest of the people are watching fireworks from the backyard. Sighing, you start pouring yourself another glass of wine.

Someone clears their throat behind you, and once you see it's Joel, you pour more wine into your glass.

"So, uh, how've you been?"

Miserable. "Great. You?"

"That's good to hear. Yeah, I'm.. I'm doin' okay. Gettin' old." He tries to crack a joke but straightens his face when he sees you're not smiling.

"How's the job in New York?"

"Let's not do this." You sigh. "Let's just.. not."

You stand up to leave through the front door, but he stops you before you can make it. "Wait, sweetheart-"

"Don't-" you turn to point at him but put your finger down. "You don't get to call me that."

Joel's eyes soften. "I know. 'M sorry. I just.. seeing you after all these years, it's good seeing you living your life out there."

You scoff. Deep down you know Joel was right 5 years ago. You know you had to go to New York to figure out who you are -- you still are trying to. You had to go out of your comfort zone and be adventurous because you wouldn't be here if that didn't happen.

That doesn't mean that you enjoyed the ride.

5 years of living in New York was lonely because you were alone. Tried to make friends but no one really stuck and you were always so busy with that big job that you barely had time to do anything else. Which is also why you quit and decided to open a cafe. It may not be as high-paying as the office job, but at least you enjoy it.

You know Joel's right, you just hate how easily he ended things with you and made you feel like you're not worth fighting for.

Walking out to the front where no one's around, you sit on the railing facing Joel, he's standing right in front of you, almost between your legs.

"I quit my job." You confess, looking down at your glass of wine.

You don't dare look at Joel. You can't face the disappointment in his eyes. "That big paying job sounds real nice from the outside, but I've been miserable since I left this place."

Joel doesn't say anything.

"I know, you're probably disappointed in me. You, my parents... you're all rooting for me to be successful there, but it's just not for me." You say. "I don't even know why I'm explaining all this to you."

"I'm sorry." He finally says. "I pushed you to go there. Thought I knew what was best for you."

You offered him half a smile, shrugging. "It had to happen. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have left Austin and wouldn't have learned what I know now."

Joel nods slowly. "Told your parents yet?"

You sigh. "Not yet. I'm not sure how to. They were so excited when I got that job... and now I'm moving back in as an adult. It's embarrassing."

"Lots of people move back in with their parents." Joel tries to lighten the mood. "Plus, you worked there for 5 years. That's a long time-- maybe too long, even."

"Yeah, but- whoa!" You almost fell while trying to adjust your sitting position on the railing. Joel catches you by holding your back, his arms now around you.

You can smell his cologne. He's been using the same brand for years, and sometimes you like to even go to the shop and smell it just to get a whiff of him.

"Careful." He whispers, eyes staring at you but it sounds like he's talking to himself.

Your hands rest on his chest and you can feel how fast his heart is beating. "I-" You stop yourself, unsure if you should confess your feelings. He hurt you once, and though he did it for your best interest, you're hesitant because who's not afraid of getting hurt?

"Joel, I-" You pause again.

He brings his hand to cup your face and kisses you, ignoring the thoughts screaming in his head that he doesn't deserve you.

You curl your fingers around his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer.

Eventually, you both have to pull away from each other, and it gets quiet again. You know Joel's not the type to talk about his feelings, but you're honestly too scared to talk about--

"I love you." He says before placing your head to rest on his chest so you don't look at him. "I was real stupid for pushing you away all those years ago. You were.. you are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

You try to look up at him but he only pushes you even further onto his chest. "I'm not done."

A chuckle escapes your lips.

"I love you, and I'm gonna be a selfish prick again and ask you," he takes a deep breath, "Do you want to get coffee sometime?"

You slowly nod against his chest and smile. "Just don't leave me in the middle of the cafe."

He chuckles and pinches you for that jab. "S'alright. We can have coffee at my place."

You punch him playfully.

"Joking, joking." He defends.

"Joel, let's take it slow this time." You say. "I don't want to be just a fling."

He lifts your head up and smiles at you. "Oh sweetheart. You were never a fling to me. Never have been, never will."

-------

a/n: kinda wanna write how reader and joel met now..

#joel miller x reader #joel miller tlou #tlou joel #joel x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-nine

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: PLEASE, we are begging you guys. Take your time with this one, so many different emotions throughout. Its a big fucking deal and read it slow, immerse yourself in this world while listening to the playlist. Enjoy my lovelies. 😉

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"I'm so fucking glad we're staying in a hotel the next few days," Folio groaned as we walked down the long hallway of the hotel.

I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe the tour is almost over; our last show is tomorrow night."

With our last show tomorrow night, we were spending the next few nights in a hotel and we all planned to take flights back home so we could get there faster. Hollow Souls were also staying in this hotel but they were a floor beneath us but it seemed the farther I went from Y/N, those imaginary pull strings inside of my heart tightened. If it hurt this bad when she was a floor underneath, how bad would it hurt when she was a state away?

As far as I knew, she still had plans to go back to Vegas because that's where her home was, granted it was with Trey. There wasn't a part of me that was worried she would go back to him; I knew she wouldn't. Ever since they fired him, Hollow Souls has been thriving. They posted on their social media pages that Trey was kicked out of the band due to personal reasons and while most of their fans complained about them kicking out their main vocalist, there was a select few that were excited to see what the future of Hollow Souls looked like.

Y/N was upset at first that so many of their fans were boycotting them now because they decided to kick Trey out.

"Seems like they only care about Trey's vocals when I'm the one that actually wrote our songs."

It took a while of Malcolm and Chase talking to her to realize that their future together as a band was looking bright. They could reinvent themselves.

I filled in for the last two shows but after playing my set for thirty minutes before their hour-and-a-half set, my voice was getting raw and sore so Matt thought it be best if I didn't fill in for the last show. I was going to argue, not wanting to let them down, but Chase reassured me they'd figure out what to do for the last show.

Y/N has been glowing since Trey left, slowly becoming a better woman in front of all of us; to me, she'd always been perfect. But we could all see her confidence growing. With her face in the dirt far too many times with Trey, she finally said enough; it doesn't hurt anymore. As all of his lies crumbled down, Y/N found a new life.

To say all of us were proud of her was a fucking understatement.

"Hey," Jolly bumped shoulders with mine, pulling me from my thoughts as we stopped in front of the door to his room. "Bryan wants us ready to go in twenty minutes."

Oh, right.

We were currently in Oregon and Bryan planned some time today on our off day to visit one of the national parks here to take some promo photos of us.

"Yeah, I'll be ready to go. I need to change quickly and I'll meet you guys down in the lobby," I said as I walked down a few more doors until I stopped in front of my room; the one I was sharing with Nick.

He patted my shoulder as he walked past me into the room. "You should ask if Y/N wants to come with."

I shrugged off his words, trying not to make it seem that I'd been tossing around the idea for the last hour when Bryan first told us about his plan.

"She might have plans with Chase and Malcolm," I said while tossing my suitcase onto the bed, quickly rifling through the clothes to find something to change into.

"She doesn't. Last I heard, Chase and Malcolm are going out tonight so Y/N will be alone," Nick raised a suggestive brow.

With a long sigh, I turned to face him. "You already planned this, didn't you?"

"It was Chase's idea," he answered.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled out my phone to send a text to Y/N.

Get dressed, I'll be by your room in fifteen minutes.

She responded quickly before I had the chance to set my phone down.

Care to tell me where we're going?

All you need to know is to dress warm, angel.

You're full of surprises. See you soon, mochi. Room 245.

"Mochi?" I chuckled to myself while pocking my phone.

With a smile playing at my lips and my heart pounding loudly in my heart at the nickname, I tossed on a fresh hoodie and my tan jacket, opting to leave my hair down. Nick finished getting dressed when I did and once we stepped out in the hallway, Jolly and Folio were already waiting for us right outside our door.

"Fuck," I cursed while clutching my chest. "You scared the shit out of me, Folio."

"Too busy thinking about Y/N, huh?" He gave a playful smile.

Shoving him on the shoulder, I mentioned we needed to stop by her room before heading down to the lobby.

Jolly adjusted the guitar bag on his back. "She's coming with?"

I hesitantly nodded. "Is that alright? Nick said she was alone, and I felt bad if we left her while we did something."

They all smirked at my rambling as we took the stairs down one floor, our footsteps echoing in the small confined space.

"Of course it is, we don't mind when she tags along," Jolly said.

Coming to a stop in front of door 245, I gently rapped my knuckles against it and waited for her petite voice to carry through the wood. It was silent for a few moments, nerves ate away at my stomach as I wondered why she wasn't answering yet.

I knocked once again, this time with a bit more force, and breathed a little when a loud curse sounded from the other side.

"Hang on, someone's at the door."

I looked over to Nick with a raised brow, and he merely shrugged. "Chase and Malcolm are gone so I don't know who she's talking to."

The door opened with a quick brush of air, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of me. Y/N was dressed in a pair of black tights, and a deep orange sweater that rested to the middle of her thighs, and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. I had to resist the urge to wrap my fingers through it to pull her back to me as she turned back into the room.

"Give me two minutes, I have to get my shoes," She said while clutching her phone to her ear. "No, Dad. Not you. I've got plenty of time to talk."

While the rest of the guys hung out in the hallway, I leaned against the wall right next to her bed and watched her as she slipped on her typical Doc Martin, nodding every so often to something her dad was saying on the other end of the phone.

"Dad, you seem to forget that you're seventeen hours ahead of me right now," she laughed causing my heart to flutter. "It's only noon here. Wait, why are you calling me so early? Isn't it your day off?"

She paced around the room looking for something and realizing what it was; I grabbed her bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I got it."

Y/N smiled her thanks before the conversation with her dad took her attention again. "No, I haven't talked to Mom in a while…. well, the last time she tried to guilt trip me into staying with her when the tour was over…I'm not staying at Trey's place anymore. We broke up.…..yea, long time coming, tell me about it….I'm sure I'll figure it out but I'm not staying in Vegas anymore…..hell yes I'm keeping Salem; asshole doesn't do shit for my cat."

I couldn't ignore the way my stomach flipped hearing that she didn't plan on staying in the same state as Trey.

"I can't move in with Malcolm or Chase because they're actually finding their own place together…Dad, they're dating; have been for the last six months…Yeah, that will explain exactly why Chase and I never got together."

I chuckled as I thought of her dad trying to set up her and Chase.

"You saw videos from the show last night?" There was a clear shock in her voice as she continued to talk with her dad as she rushed around the room getting ready.

"I'm surprised because you don't even know how to work face time," she giggled. "Oh, he's a friend of ours. We've been touring with his band for the last few weeks. Yeah, he filled in the last couple of shows….you think so? That's what everyone is saying online."

Her gaze flicked up to mine as her lips parted slightly, whatever her dad said made her give a long pause.

"Just a friend, dad." Then she turned swiftly on her heels away from me to whisper something low into the phone.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to me with a pulled expression as she looked over her shoulder..

I waved her off. "Take your time."

"Dad, you know I miss you but I can't move to Japan; not now. But yes, I promise to visit you as soon as I can."

Eventually, after another minute, she said goodbye before hanging up with an audible groan. "Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but sometimes he forgets we talk almost every other day. He wants a play-by-play of my life every time."

"He wants you to visit?" I questioned.

She nodded while slipping into a jacket. "Yeah but its hard to find time. You need more than a weekend to visit Japan; there's so much to do."

"Yeah," I pushed her hand away when she went to reach for her bag. "I've got it."

"Noah, you don't have to carry my bag," she chuckled.

I shrugged. "I don't mind. Ready?"

"Yep," she smiled that heart-stopping smile.

When she walked past me towards the open door, my fingers grazed the inside of her wrist to stop her.

"Mochi?" I asked.

"Yes," she responded immediately. "Because you're the sweetest and your tummy is soft."

She poked her finger into my stomach before letting out a loud shriek of laughter as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her into my embrace, the both of us walking to the doorway where the guys were waiting.

"Malcolm and Chase are going to meet us once they're finished with their date," Y/N said.

"I'll text them the address," Nick said while pulling out his phone.

"Where are we headed?"

"The mountains," Folio answered with a smile.

"Ooh," she slipped out of my embrace, much to my dismay, to rummage around her suitcase for a book before she came back to me, lifting my arm and throwing it over her shoulder once again. "Now I'm ready."

Resisting the urge to press a kiss to her forehead, I set my sunglasses over my eyes and pulled her along with me as she let the door close behind us and ignored the smug look Nick threw my way as we walked past him; Y/N wrapping an arm around my back.

NOAH

"Can you believe how many people are calling for us to collaborate? It's all over Twitter," Nick said while browsing on his phone.

"Shit, really?" Y/N peered over from the back seat so she could gaze down at Nick's phone, who sat in front of her.

I was driving the van to the location that Bryan chose for our photo shoot but Folio called shotgun before she could which earned a cute little pout on her lips; lips that I wanted so bad to taste once again. So she sat in the far back with Jolly while Nick and Bryan sat in the middle. It was weird not having Chase or Malcolm with us since we did everything together on our off days.

"What are they saying?" I wondered while keeping my eyes on the road.

"Fans want you to feature on Hollow Souls next album," Y/N grinned as our eyes locked in the rearview mirror for a few seconds.

I hummed while pulling the van to a stop at the park's entrance. "I'm around whenever you need me, angel."

Once we all piled out, I met Jolly and Bryan at the back of the van to help them unload the equipment while Y/N chatted quietly with both of the Nicks, and out of the corner of my eye; I marveled at how goddess-like she looked with the afternoon sun casting her with her own aura glow. Jolly caught me staring because he smacked my chest before handing me the guitar he brought.

"You could ask her out, ya know," Bryan smirked.

I snapped my gaze over to him. "I can't."

"Why not? It's clear she feels the same since she's here right now," he said.

A long sigh fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my face. "It's not that easy, guys."

Bryan rolled his eyes and then hung his camera from his neck. "I mean you've already kissed, how much easier could things be between you two?"

"You told him?" I seethed at Jolly, who held up his hands.

"I didn't say anything. You two give it away with all the romantic googly-eye shit," he chuckled while he and Bryan began walking up the long trail toward the top of the mountain where we planned on taking the pictures.

"Hey," Y/N smiled as she bounded up next to me. "Little photo shoot?"

Immediately the scowl that followed Byran and Jolly turned into a warm smile, matching Y/N's, and I nodded. We began walking step in step, hands brushing against each other every so often, and I nearly linked fingers with her more than once. However, when we reached some rocky terrain while walking up a hill, Y/N cursed herself for not wearing smarter shoes.

"Here," I bent low in front of her and patted to my back.

"No, you're not carrying me," she tried to laugh it off, but I knew she was nervous about me carrying her weight on my back.

"Angel."

I peered over my shoulder in time to see her place her hands low on her hips.

"Mochi," she teased back with a small smirk.

My heart skipped a long beat at hearing the nickname again. It sounded so fucking sweet falling from her lips; almost as much as my actual name sounded.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," I said, still bent low at my knees.

Y/N pulled at the bottom of her sweater dress. "I don't want to give these bozos a show."

She threw a thumb over her shoulder towards both Nick's who walked a few paces behind her. I rose to my knees and gave her a suggestive smirk while closing the distance between us.

"What color are they?"

"Uh," Y/N stammered but quickly recovered. "A cute olive green. Looks great against my skin tone."

A low noise vibrated in the back of my throat and I stood straighter as Folio walked passed just in time to feel the growing sexual tension.

"Either you hop on his back or I will," he joked as he and Nick walked passed us.

She stared up at me and slowly licked her lips, an action I watched carefully through my sunglasses. "Noah?"

"Yes, angel?"

"You have a cute nose," her voice was quiet, and I thought I misheard her.

I titled my head to the side. "My nose?"

"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," she finished with a boop to my nose.

I scrunched up my face. "Did-did you just boop my nose?"

"See!" She pointed to my face. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."

"Angel, literally," I breathed a low chuckle.

"Mochi, literally," she mocked while sticking her tongue out.

My fingers itched to grab it but Bryan's loud voice echoed through the trees from far ahead. "Let's go you losers! You're holding us up."

I swear to-.

"What will it be, angel?" I asked.

Y/N dramatically sighed before motioning for me to spin around, which I did with a quick wink.

"If you drop me, I swear to Hades," She grumbled while adjusting her dress.

The warmth radiated from her in giant waves as her legs wrapped around my sides and I hooked my arms underneath her thighs to hoist her up.

"I swear to Hades that I will not drop you," I promised while walking up the steep hill towards the rest of the guys. "Do you actually pray to the Greek Gods?"

She flicked my ear. "No, silly. I just like to joke around with them. They're my favorite mythology."

"Will you teach me about them?

"I'm honored you asked; I'd love to," she ran her fingers through my long hair and I briefly let my eyes flutter shut at the calming feeling.

"Only if you let me braid your hair."

My eyes snapped open. "Uh, we'll see about that."

She flicked my ear again. "You're no fun."

Hooking her tighter against me, I closed the distance between us and the guys in a few long strides. Nick gave the two of us a look as I set Y/N down gently on her feet, she quickly pulling down her dress.

"You didn't see shit," she pointed a firm finger to all of us.

"Nope."

"Nothing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bryan held up his camera and snapped a few pictures of Y/N; who in return, flipped him the finger.

I watched with a racing heart as she messed around with the guys, almost as if she'd been part of our little group for years.

"Alright," Y/N pulled the book out of her bag. "I'll let you guys do your thing. If you need me, I'll be reading over there."

She pointed to the edge of the mountain that looked over the small lake we drove past to get here.

"Be careful, angel," I warned.

"I'll be fine," Y/N rolled her eyes but as she turned, she tripped over a rock and stumbled a bit before standing straight.

I raised a teasing brow at her while crossing my arms over my chest. "What was that?"

"Fuck you," she taunted with her middle finger.

Don't tempt me, angel.

The next hour passed in a blur as we took countless pictures, just having a fun, relaxing time. Every so often, my gaze would fall onto Y/N as she leaned up against a large willow tree, book perched in her lap. The wind blew through her ponytail every so often and I marveled at how fucking breathtaking she looked when her face would scrunch in surprise with whatever she was reading.

I knew from the moment I stepped off our bus the first day of the tour when I saw her standing amongst the group; when we first met. It wasn't the typical love at first sight bullshit Folio talks about that happens in the movies. It was more like a familiarity, almost like 'oh, hello. It's you. It's always going to be you.'

"Noah, could you take a little step forward," Bryan directed.

Snapping my gaze away from Y/N reluctantly, I followed Bryan's orders for another long few minutes until he decided we got enough pictures. I motioned towards Y/N, who still had her nose perched in her book, and Bryan knew what I silently was saying because he snapped a few pictures of her.

Malcolm and Chase walked up just as we finished our photoshoot so a quick idea came to my mind.

"Angel," I called.

She looked up. "Hm?"

Not saying anything, I waved her, Malcolm, and Chase over to our position which they did hesitantly.

"If Bryan is cool with it," I pointed to him. "What do you guys say for a Hollow Souls photoshoot? New and reimagined?"

Bryan immediately agreed. "Let me change out some things and we can get started.

Chase and Malcolm also agreed with a nod. "I think it'll be good for us."

"You guys don't have to do this for us," Y/N stated. "You've already done so much for us, Noah by filling in."

I shrugged while stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans. "I take care of the people I care about."

She pondered my words for a long moment and eventually let out a long breath. "Alright fine."

Once Bryan returned, the rest of stepped back to give them space to work. Nick was the only one who watched me as Jolly, Folio, and I kept our eyes on Hollow Souls. We grabbed a few beers from the cooler Jolly packed and was nursing them slowly.

"You know, this would be a perfect opportunity to maybe slip away just the two of you," Nick whispered.

I peered over to him and rolled my eyes, shoving him in the shoulder. "Whatever."

"I'm just saying," he held up his hands in defense. "A night under the stars in the mountains. Anybody would kill for a date like that."

Nick's words weighed heavily on my brain and when she began walking towards me, I made the haste decision by grabbing the guitar that was leaning against the tree.

"Hi," Y/N smiled as I met her halfway.

My heart warmed at the sight.

"Do you want to go somewhere more secluded, just the two of us?" I suggested with a hopeful smile.

I didn't want to think how I would feel if she rejected me and walked away from me.

"Sure," she answered quickly with a glimmer shining in her eyes.

Ultimately, after walking for a few minutes, we decided on an area far from the rest of the group down the water's edge. We sat down in the sand, our knees brushing against each other, and held the guitar in my lap as I watched her stare out into the vast distance of the water. There was a faraway look in the depths of her eyes as she messed with something on her wrist, fiddling it between her fingers.

A hair tie; the one I gave her the last time we were on the beach together. I wondered where it went but decided that I never wanted it back. It's hers to keep; along with everything else I gave her.

"How are you doing, angel?" I asked, breaking the growing silence.

She didn't look at me, kept her eyes straight ahead.

"I'm-." A hesitant breath. "I'm not sure. I want to believe I'm doing okay with the breakup of not only my relationship but also the band. For the longest time, Hollow Souls was the four of us and we released three records together. The future scares the shit out of me. Can the three of us reinvent a new Hollow Souls or do we need to find someone to replace Trey completely?"

I strummed a few random notes on the guitar; the melody echoing into the sounds of the waves.

"I think a fresh start in all aspects is good for you," I answered slowly, trying to get my thoughts and words right. "I've said it from the start, you're the heart and soul of this band, Y/N. The screams were a bonus. It didn't make or break you guys."

She finally looked towards me and her eyes darted over every inch of my face, wondering if my words were the truth. With her, they always were.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, mochi. Truly."

I scrunched up my face to show that the nickname wasn't my favorite but deep down, my insides were floating in pure bliss having her call me something so disgustingly cute. If any of the guys heard it, though, they would give me shit until the end of my days.

"Ditto, angel, ditto."

I tried to play it cool, sauvé, and chill. My typical demeanor was chipping like ice though, the fear of what would happen if it broke completely had its vise grip on me. No one has ever considered a fuckin a nickname for me, not one without a punchline. Not one without a groan or a cursed tantrum that followed. I wasn’t sure if the pure bliss I was feeling was normal, but who the hell wants normal? Hearing it come from her lips meant everything to me.

"Let's play something," I motioned to the guitar.

"Ooh, what do you have in mind?" She asked while turning her body to face me completely head-on and letting her hair flow as she took it out of the ponytail.

The view of her sitting in front of me with the waves crashing behind her, the setting sun's rays breaking over the horizon stole the breath from my chest.

"Only Love," I answered without an ounce of hesitation.

Y/N's nose scrunched up with confusion and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest fucking thing ever.

"Noah, that was a demo song from three years ago."

I shrugged and played the first few notes of the song. "Might be silly to some but to me, it means a lot."

It was true. I listened to that song on repeat when it first came out. It was the first song I heard by Hollow Souls and Y/N's voice captivated my heart with its claws. I remember laying on the pullout couch next to Nick in his bedroom as I stayed there yet again. My mind was racing with only one thought.

I have to fucking make it. I needed to buy my own couch that brought a sense of comfort and security I yearned for.

That's when her soft voice came through my headphones and it shocked me to hear a feminine voice after Of Mice and Men. I brushed the hair away from my eyes as I settled deeper into the couch and let Y/N's angelic voice lull me to sleep that night and far too long after.

Cut to three years later and the girl who wrote that song is here in front of me. Some may call it a ‘rockstar crush. Would she be considered that? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I had pent-up memories, and needed to hear that sweet voice sing it, just for me all these years later.

Y/N's real, right there in front of me.

"I'm shocked you remember that song."

"Why wouldn't I? You talked about it being on the cloud during that one livestream," I answered.

Her eyes doubled. "You watched the livestream?"

"Twice."

A red hue brushed across the soft skin of her face as she tilted her head down towards the sand, long hair covering her face.

"No," I brushed away the hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face, angel. I want to see all of you if you'd let me."

"Sorry," she muttered under her breath. "I don't even realize I do it."

"Don't apologize. Never apologize to me. Just understand that this is how I see you. Now, enough sadness. Sing for me, angel."

She looked up at me through lashes with a small smile. "Do you know how to play it?"

I snorted, a little hurt that she would doubt me, but proved her wrong as I played the opening part of the song.

"I told you I watched the stream twice."

"Okay," she nodded. "Where did you want me to start?"

"Sing the whole song for me. Please?" I begged.

"You want me to sing the whole song?"

"I do," I rushed out.

Y/N gave a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll play the whole thing- but only because you asked me too, no one else gets the privilege.”

I playfully narrowed my eyes at her. “They better not.”

She took a deep breath while shutting her eyes as I played the tune on the guitar.

"I’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent cause only hell knows where you’ve been. Your built composure’s wearing thin and all your walls are caving in. Before you shut this down, I just wanna lift you up. I’ll take all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough."

We both could hear the ache in our hearts as it bled out, the lyrics mean so fucking much right now.

"Now don’t you shut this down. Ooh no don’t you give this up. I took all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough. Is it enough? If we don’t bend, then this might break. Please don’t give into this pain. Just keep on counting down the days and dream of me to keep you safe."

Y/n opened her eyes to meet mine, a blaze of passion that cut deep into my bones.

"Before you came around I was lost and out of place. You’re the only love I found and I’m hoping that you’ll stay. Please stay."

As we played on together in perfect harmony, there was one thing bright in clear in my mind: I'd stay for as long as she let me.

"Fuck," she breathed. "I forgot how much I loved singing this song."

I nodded in agreement while setting the guitar down next to me. "It's one of my favorites. It's actually what got me into Hollow Souls. I'd been hooked on your voice since that first night on Nick's couch all those years ago when I first heard it."

Y/N beamed when an idea struck her with such force, she stumbled to her feet. "I have to talk with Chase and Malcolm about something."

She took off a few steps in front of me, clearly excited about this idea she had. As we reached the rest of the guys, Y/N made a beeline toward Chase to tell him about her idea while I walked up to Nick and Folio, the former giving me a look.

"So my date idea was good, huh?" He playfully jabbed my side.

I pushed him away with a groan of embarrassment. "Fuck off, Nicholas."

"Oh, he pulled out the full name," Folio teased.

Jolly and Bryan joined us as we finished packing up the van and when I glanced over to Y/N, I noticed Malcolm pinching her cheeks playfully and she smacked his hands away, her cheeks flushed with her own embarrassment and large smile.

NOAH

"Oh wow, look at all of these beautiful people tonight!" Y/N's voice carried through the sold-out arena.

It was the last show of tour and Hollow Souls just took the stage for their set. We could feel the nerves radiate off of all three of them all the way where we stood on the stage to watch them. This was new what they planned on doing tonight but the three of them spent the rest of last night after we parted ways at the hotel and all morning and afternoon today practicing nonstop a new setlist. They wanted to show everyone tonight the first step towards the new Hollow Souls.

"Where's Noah?!" a voice yelled from the crowd.

Jolly chuckled from beside me. "Think they'll be upset you don't show up tonight?"

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I hope not. This is something that they need to prove they can do. The fans need to have faith in Hollow Souls."

"Well, about that," Malcolm spoke into his microphone while adjusting his bass strap.

"Now before you all start booing us off the stage," Chase spoke next from his spot above on his makeshift drum stage. "Noah has been fucking killing it not only with Bad Omens this tour but also helping us out a lot. But tonight, we wanted to do something a little different. We still have our guitar tech filling in for us!"

The crowd cheered for their guitar tech, which made him give an awkward wave.

"I know this may take getting used to, but we appreciate your support in doing what’s right for us and our band," Y/N said. "It means so fucking much to all of us you still showed up tonight even knowing Trey is no longer with us. For that, we're going to give you a kick ass show you deserved. Don't give up on Hollow Souls. We cut out the disease and are ready to fucking blossom."

Y/N peered over to me and with a small wave and wink, she sang the first few lyrics of Only Love.

NOAH

Darkness cascaded over my sleeping form, a brush of moonlight breaking through the curtains pulled tight in our hotel room, and I buried myself deeper into the cocoon of blankets. Sleep was within my grasp and after the last few weeks, the thought of finally being able to sleep in my own bed back at home made it that much easier to grasp it.

Until my phone buzzed from its place on the nightstand and my hand smacked around until it grabbed it. Through hazy vision, I blinked a few times for the words to clear.

Hey, are you awake?-Angel.

I sat up in bed and rubbed away the rest of the sleep from my eyes. It only meant one thing when someone texted you the typical you up text.

Yeah, couldn't sleep.

Bullshit, you were seconds away from waking up Nick with your snoring.

I stared at the bubbles that appeared on my screen and then disappeared, only to reappear right before her next text came through.

Would it be alright if I came by to hang out? Or is it too late?

The clock at the top of my screen showed it was just before midnight.

Not at all. I've got snacks, and we can finally finish watching Spirited Away. Room 392

Be there in five minutes. I'll bring some goodies too! :)

I chucked a pillow at Nick, who was fast asleep in his bed, but when he remained sleeping, I threw another. Eventually, he groaned, slowly waking up.

"You need to leave." I scrambled out of bed and pulled away the blankets from Nick. "Y/N's coming by to hang out."

Nick smoothed down his bedhead, a sly smirk on his lips. "You're kicking me out right now?"

"Fuck yes I am. Go bunk with Bryan or Matt," I said while changing out of my old gray sweats for a pair of black joggers, opting to put on a shirt.

He yawned before grabbing the things he would need and dragged his feet to the door, sending a text to whoever he bunked with.

"Be safe!" Nick called out before the door shut behind him.

With seconds to spare, I quickly tidied up the room then set up a variety of snacks and pulled up the movie on my laptop, setting it on the bed just in time for a soft knock to sound on the door. I let out a few deep calming breaths and did a quick once over of myself in the mirror.

"Hi," I smiled once I opened the door.

Y/N's eyes grazed over every inch of me as she shifted on her feet in the doorway, clutching a bag close to her chest. She was dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt.

"Do you always sleep shirtless?" she asked with a raised brow.

I stepped to the side, allowing her to step inside the room. "Every hotel room I sleep in can't get any colder than seventy degrees. I need it to be at least sixty-eight. I run hot when I sleep and the guys know not to mess with the thermostat back home."

"Wow, good to know. I'll keep my hands to myself when I come over," she wiggled her fingers after setting her bag down on the couch.

Please don't.

I peeked a brow. "When you come over?"

"Oh, if you thought you saw the last of me because the tour is over, you're wrong," she fell onto the couch with a huff of breath. "I'm moving to Los Angeles."

My heart thumped loudly in my chest but I did my best to hide my excitement when I sat next to her.

"You are?" I questioned.

She nodded with that room-brightening smile. "I had a long talk with Chase and Malcolm tonight and we thought it is best. With us trying to reinvent Hollow Souls it'd be good if we were together for the writing process. Malcolm already found a place big enough for us and while he's going there to get things ready, Chase is flying back with me to Vegas to help me pack my things."

I shifted in my seat, resting my arm against the back of the couch, behind Y/N. "Do you think Trey will be there?"

"Probably but that's why Chase is coming with me; in case things go south."

"I could come too if you'd like," I stumbled over my words only slightly.

Y/N rested a hand on my knee and squeezed it. "You need to stop worrying so much about me, Noah. I can't ask you to change your plans for something I should do on my own."

"You're worth it, angel," I vowed while running a finger through the soft waves of her hair.

We stayed in that position for a minute longer, simply staring into each other's eyes, and when I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, Y/N let out a soft whine. The thick tension that always seemed to be around us intensified now, and it was almost hard to breathe, let alone keep my thoughts off the way her hand grazed a few inches higher on my thigh.

I cleared my throat while nodding to the bag next to her. "What did you bring?"

"Oh," she snapped out of her trance and set it on her lap. "Last tour, I started this tradition on the final night I celebrate by doing self-care."

She pulled out an array of masks and different colors of nail polish and then set them on the small coffee table in front of us.

"Sweet, hand me one," I nodded towards the masks.

"You do masks?" Y/N giggled.

"What, you think I get this perfect skin with just water?" I jeered with a smile.

For the next while, we sat with our face masks on and watched the movie on the small screen of my laptop. It took almost no convincing from her to paint my nails black; her choosing a burgundy color for her nails. But now, what she was trying to convince of me gave me a slight pause.

"I don't know, angel. I don't let just anyone touch my hair," I said while putting away my laptop, us finishing the movie.

Y/N moved to the chair that sat in the room's corner and had her legs spread wide. "It's a good thing I'm not anyone. Now, get your ass over here and let me braid your hair."

For added effect, she pouted her bottom lip out and gave me those big doe eyes.

"Fine," I sighed before sitting on the floor between her legs, my back to her.

I shivered under her touch as she raked her fingers through my hair to break apart the small knots that gathered while I slept earlier.

"So, which Greek God is your favorite?" I asked.

She hummed. "Without a doubt, Medusa. Her story is tragic and sometimes often told wrong but that's the thing with mythology; there are so many different versions, you just have to choose which one you believe more."

"Medusa is the one with the snake hair, right?"

"Yeah," she turned my head to the left as she began braiding that side. "Some stories said she was an original gorgon sister but recent tellings from Ovid say she was a beautiful maiden who worked in Athena's temple. Poseidon saw her from afar and just like Zeus always did, Poseidon decided he wanted Medusa. He had sex with her on the temple steps and Athena punished her by turning her into the gorgon with snake hair and cursed any man to turn to stone when they looked at her."

I whistled low. "Shit, Greek gods were assholes."

Y/N snorted. "You don't even know the half of it."

Once she finished the left side, she turned my head to the right so she could start on that side.

"How'd her story end?"

"In tragedy, like every other myth. Perseus was sent to behead her by King Polydectes of Seriphus because Polydectes wanted to marry Perseus's mother. The gods were well aware of this, and Perseus got help. He received a mirrored shield from Athena, sandals with gold wings from Hermes, a sword from Hephaestus, and Hades's helm of invisibility."

"Wait," I turned to look up at her, which made her chastise me because I messed up the braid. "Athena, who turned her into this monster, helped the guy who was sent to kill her?"

"Fucked up, I know."

With stern hands, she turned my head to the right again. "Since Medusa was the only one of the three Gorgons who was mortal, Perseus could slay her; he did so while looking at the reflection from the mirrored shield he received from Athena. During that time, Medusa was pregnant by Poseidon so when Perseus beheaded her, Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor, a giant wielding a golden sword, sprang from her body."

"Oh Pegasus, from the Disney Hercules," I noted.

"That movie is so wrong but what do you expect for a kids' movie," Y/N chuckled then slapped her thighs. "All finished."

She showed me my reflection through her camera on her phone and I couldn't stop the smirk that pulled at my lips.

"I'll have to admit, angel. I look good with braids," I admitted while snatching her phone from her.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" She asked while reaching for it.

I leaned far back from her and posed for a few selfies. "I thought you'd like an updated selfie of me. I know you have the other two I sent you a few weeks ago."

With a red face, she snatched her phone back and held it close to her chest. "I do not."

Bullshit.

"Right, then let me see your pictures," I teased while kneeling in front of her, hands resting on her thighs, her skin ablaze with heat.

She swallowed thickly. "Fuck you, Sebastian."

READER

I swallowed thickly while clutching my phone to my chest, knowing that he was correct about saving those two selfies he sent me before.

"Are you going to look at the selfie I took?" Noah taunted.

With a breath, I peered down at the phone only to suck in a large breath, body shivering underneath his warm touch on my thighs.

"That's your new contact picture, mochi," I smirked while setting it and leaned deeper in the couch, not realizing that I pressed my core closer to Noah's face.

His eyes burned as his gaze darted from between my legs up to my face and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, almost imagining the taste.

"Angel," his voice was deep, it rumbling in his chest.

All the heat shot straight to my pussy as it clenched with desire, something that always happened when around Noah. Before, I took care of myself with this exact image in my mind but now that it was about to happen made me buzz with excitement.

"Can I?" He asked while breathing over my lap.

I raised my hips towards his face, all morals or thoughts if this was the best idea flew out of the window. We waited long enough for this moment ever since we shared that kiss so long ago. I wasn't a religious person at all but fuck, did I pray to Aphrodite about this moment countless times.

"Please," the word choked out on my lips.

With a low growl, Noah pulled me off of the chair and tossed me onto the bed before he crawled between my spread legs. His long fingers hooked the waistband of shorts and panties pulling them off in almost a quick snap and when blazed eyes stared down at my bare pussy, I tried to close my legs.

"Don't," Noah demanded while gripping my thighs tight to spread my legs again. "Don't hide a fucking thing from me, angel."

Shit.

"I've never actually-," The words died on my lips when I felt embarrassed about what I was about to say.

Noah leaned over me. "Wait, are you going to say what I think you're going to say?"

I turned my head away from him. "He never wanted to go down on me."

Noah cursed while cupping my chin so I could meet his gaze. "Don't think about him, angel. Just lay back and enjoy this."

I did my best to nod in his grasp. "Okay."

He suddenly crashed his lips to mine in a fiery, passionate kiss, as he forced his tongue past my lips to taste every inch of my mouth and I moaned into it, nails scratching against the bare skin of his chest. Noah's teeth dragged over my bottom lip as his hand dragged down my side to slide up underneath my shirt, fingers pinching at my nipples.

"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."

I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never being this turned one, and for a moment I wondered if it would be alright; no pain.

Noah helped me sit up so he could pull my shirt over my head and soon was laying bare in front of him, hair sprawled around my head.

"Fuck, angel. You're fucking beautiful."

For the longest time, I was told something different from how I looked. So hearing the truth and sincerity from Noah made me almost close my legs in front of him. But with his tight grip on my hips to keep me locked against the bed, I knew he could read my thoughts.

"Don't go there. Stay here with me," he said before his lips pressed over every inch of skin from my lips to my chest, down my stomach, and stopped right about my pussy.

I whined the smallest of sobs when Noah took his time, lips ghosting over me. By now I was almost begging and when I finally felt the wet flick of his tongue against my clit, I breathed out a shaky curse. Noah pressed the fullness of his tongue against my lips, licking me up from the bottom to the top, spreading my legs wider apart. I bit my hand to keep the noises at bay.

"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh.

"Fuck," I moaned when his tongue speared inside of me for a few strokes.

My hands now grasped at the blanket beneath me as I raised my hips farther into his mouth, his lips wrapping around my clit to bite and suck at the bundle of nerves. I always thought my Gspot was in my clit because it was hard to have an orgasm any other way than rubbing myself. Without even telling Noah this, it was as if he knew exactly what my body needed.

It happened so fast, before I knew it he was devouring me like a dying man. I’ve never felt euphoria until now; this must be how it feels to see the moon, the moon that changes its orbit. He had me spinning.

"I love the way you taste, angel." Noah broke away from my clit for a second before diving back it.

The familiar feeling of an orgasm built in my stomach, the tension pulling so fucking tight it was seconds away from snapping. My spine tingled with anticipation as my body tensed, knees shaking underneath Noah as he rubbed his tongue in faster but shorter circles, moaning with the taste that lingered on his lips.

"N-noah. 'M so close," I let my head fall back deeper into the mattress.

"Let go, I've got you."

With a strangled breath, I let the orgasm crash through me like a tsunami, a bright white light edging at the corners of my eyes while Noah licked me through the last few aftershocks. As my breathing calmed, I lifted my head in time to see him stand to his feet, stepping out of his joggers only to stand in front of me in his black briefs.

I licked my lips when I saw his cock straining against the confines of the material until he palmed himself in a few strokes.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

I shook my head with desperation clear in my voice. "No, please. I need this-I need you, Noah."

He cursed before sliding off his briefs with desperation and urgency, his hard cock springing against his thigh, and I nearly died at that sight alone. All of my imagination did nothing compared to the real thing, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared for a few different reasons. Sex with Trey was uncomfortable but with Noah's size, I feared it would only hurt. The only saving grace was that he worked me open and the added wetness would make up for the slight pain.

"Are you on anything?" Noah asked while kneeling between my legs.

A lot of different shit.

"No," I said.

He leaned over to a bag that lay at the foot of the bed and rummaged around for a few seconds before retrieving a condom. I watched with anticipation as pre-cum seeped out of the slit when he ripped it open and slid it over his length then perched himself between my legs again, the head of his cock pressing gently against me. He wrapped one of my legs around his hip then slowly, sunk deep inside of me, and I bit my tongue hard to keep my strangled cry quiet. I knew there was going to be some pain; it was inevitable, but I didn't expect it to feel so good either.

"Fuck," Noah rested his forehead against my collarbone. "So tight."

He didn't move at first, relishing in the way I felt gripping his cock, and I couldn't take it anymore; I needed him to move.

"Noah," I begged while grinding against him.

One hand gripping my thigh, the other was placed next to my head to keep himself supported as he finally moved his hips in slow, deep strokes.

"Faster," I panted, almost pleading.

Slow was good but right now I needed fast.

Noah accepted my pleas and began slamming into me with such force, I cried out in name with a mixture of pleasure and pain. My hand slipped between our bodies to rub at my clit, hoping that the sensation would ease the pain a bit, but it could only do so much.

He noticed something was wrong with the way my face contorted in pain. "Angel, do you want to get on top?"

"Fuck yes, please."

Still buried deep inside of me, Noah rolled our bodies so now I was straddling him and almost immediately, the pain subsided; it was still there but not as strong. My hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered his chest as I leaned down to lick my way across the snake and apple on his neck. The noise he made, and his moans were so soft as my hot tongue went up and down his neck, I grazed over his Adam's apple with my teeth and bit down. Noah shook underneath me as he wrapped an arm around my back to hold me closer, burying his thick, aching cock, deeper inside of me.

We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. I gave him a show. This is heaven in hiding.

"Angel," he begged as my teeth worked on leaving a mark against the hand on his neck. "I need-."

"What do you need?" I ground my hips against his pelvis and the sensation sent sparks to my clit and I clenched around him.

"Fuck," he cursed. "Don't stop what you're doing. It feels so good."

"Oh," I bit down on a new patch of skin on his throat. "This?"

"Yes," he dragged out the S for a few seconds.

My hands went to run through his hair but I almost forgot in our haste that I braided it a few minutes before this.

"Angel," Noah's voice was raw. "You have no idea how much I've wanted you."

I sat up slowly to stare down at him in awe as his words made me feel unspeakable things.

In one quick action, his hand snaked behind my head to pull my lips back down to him to kiss me feverishly.

"Noah," I tugged on his braids.

"Shit, give me a minute. I can take them out."

I didn't stop moving my hips against him. "Noah. I-."

"Just second, angel."

His hands left their vice grip on my hips to take out his hair but I quickly slapped his hands while sinking deeper on his cock. "Leave them."

The same sensation of a cresting orgasm filled every inch of me, ecstasy shooting through my veins like a drug, and when Noah's thumb pressed fast circles against my clit, I leaned my head up towards the ceiling, lips parting as my hands wrapped around his braids, pulling with such force he choked on my name. I rode Noah faster, needing that last little bit of friction to tip me over the edge and when I finally let the bliss plow through me in droves, I held my breath.

"Angel," Noah cupped my cheek so I could look down at him. "Breathe through it with me."

I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.

NOAH

I pressed light kisses all along Y/N's shoulder blades, in shock and almost slight jealousy as I took in every inch of the large tattoo that covered her back. It was of a large snake that wrapped along every groove of her spine with an array of different Japanese flowers.

Afterward, I let her fall onto the mattress with a happy sigh, immediately grasping the pillow closer to her chest and that's when I noticed the tattoo.

"I can't believe I've never noticed this before," I mused while running a finger over the ink.

"It's taken like two years to complete. It's my second favorite after the one on my leg of the Gods," she rested her chin on her palm. "You know what I just realized? We have similar tattoo themes; copy cat."

Her finger grazed over the snake and apple along my neck.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "All you need is an apple right here."

I smacked right above her ass and she shrieked while falling into the pillow once again, a long but content sigh falling from her lips. I kissed from between her shoulder blades down her back, my nails grazing beyond the wake of my lips.

"Are you okay?" I wondered while gently squeezing her hips.

“Yeah, I think so. I feel content, just basking in it. You?”

I nodded and kissed the side of her head as I lay next to her. "I feel great."

"Do you know what you want in 10 years?" Y/N blurted out.

“That’s a random question” I chuckled while kissing her lips.

She sighed and looked up at me through her lashes. “I know but think about it, like really think about it?”

I thought deeply about her question, fingers still grazing her spine. “Alright I’ll bite, I don’t know, I’ve always been trying to make it with whatever bullshit has been going on in my fucking life- just wanting to mean something to somebody, make music- for anybody out there to listen. To be the fucking king you know?”

She laughs. "And?"

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

Y/N's body went rigid with my words.

"But right now, no dog, no family just…just Bad Omens," I finished with a hopeful breath.

She hummed in response but turned her head to face the wall opposite of us, something bothering her. Not wanting to push it, I left another kiss on her spine before I slipped out of bed to discard of the condom in the bathroom trash, a light red color catching my attention.

Once back in the room, I slipped back underneath the covers.

"Angel?"

Another hum vibrated from her throat, sleep weighing heavy on her shoulders.

"Did you get your period?"

I swore I saw all the breath leave her body with my question and my mind panicked, thinking she was embarrassed.

"It's fine," I rubbed her back soothingly. "I just saw some blood on the condom, that's all."

When she still said nothing, I nudged her face with my nose. "Are you alright?"

"Yep," she said quietly.

"Stay till morning?" I asked, hopefully.

Finally, she turned to face me and left a kiss on my nose. "I have to go."

My heart fell into the dark pits of my stomach as I watched her slip out from underneath the sheet to gather her clothes. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Noah." She slipped back into her clothes rather quickly. "I just have an early flight to catch and I know you have one too."

I shook my head and stood to my feet while slipping my briefs and joggers back on. "I don't buy that. We were great, where did you go just now?"

She doesn't want to leave, I can see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.

"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.

"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.

"Then why won't you stay?"

The fear of her slipping between my fingers was debilitating.

"Noah, you know I can’t; we can’t," Y/N stumbled over her words.

I stretched my arms out wide at my sides. "Why? Why can’t you?"

With her gaze still cast down to her feet, she shook her head. "You don’t want me Noah, trust me, you don’t want any part of this."

"Bullshit," I spat as my anger got the best of me.

Y/N's head snapped up towards me, finally looking me in my eyes and all I saw in hers were the wetness of tears. "I have this condition that already makes my life harder every fucking month. I don't need to bring you into it and ruin our future, alright?"

My heart stopped for a few seconds. "Condition? What the fuck, are you dying or something? I don't know what the hell this means."

"No," she rushed out. "I'm not dying. I-I don't want to get into this right now. All I know is that I would need you a lot more than you'd need me. And you deserve better than me, anyway."

"Don't-" I started while pointing a finger at her.

She ran a distressed hand through her hair. "You know it’s true Noah, please. This is hard enough as it is. Walking out right now."

The bed stood between us and I hated feeling so far from her even though we were still in the same room so I walked around it, standing a few inches in front of her now.

"I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life too, Y/N. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and can’t handle. Don’t sit there and tell me what I want or don’t want. You’re just so afraid of us," I pointed between us.

She grasped her elbows to hug herself and I could see the way her mind was running, gears turning hastily. Y/N was shutting down in front of me and I fucking hated it.

"Don’t fucking do that. I’m not him," I assured her with a gentler tone.

All of this was a trauma response, something so embedded deep into her brain that it was the only way she knew how to act. I know she felt the same way that I did; it was clear with what happened not even an hour ago. If she didn't feel the way I did, she wouldn't have shown up tonight. Y/N wants to stay, I can see it in the way her eyes keep darting to the bed but the pain and trauma were too deep.

"I’m sorry angel, I just- you’re wrong. I know how I feel about you, and I know what you feel about me."

I went to reach for her hands but she took a step back, a few tears falling to the ground below.

"I know what I feel. It’s not you, it’s me, Noah."

Not that fucking line.

"No. Fuck, angel! Stop! The future hasn't even happened yet. Please, don't-what do you need to happen?"

Her bottom lip trembled as a broken sob clawed its wait through her throat. "I-I think we need to remain friends right now. I can't-I can't get lost in you, Noah. It's so fucking easy to. I think we need space."

"I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you."

"Noah, please understand where I'm coming from," she begged.

I paced the room, hands shaking in anger. Defeat? I wasn't sure.

"Angel-I. Please, just-," I eventually sighed in defeat.

"I'm going to head out."

Y/N nodded towards the door after gathering her things and stepped past me to leave.

The fear of losing her completely is what made me give in to her wishes. As much as I wanted to fight her choice, I needed her as a friend more than something more. I'll take what I can get for right now until she realizes she feels the same; I know she does.

As she opened the door, my feet closed the distance between us in two large steps and I grasped her chin, forcing her to look at me. The tears burned with the need to fall but she held fast and strong, refusing to show me how badly walking away was affecting her.

I brushed my lips across hers in a soft kiss. "I can wait for you."

She tried to disagree but my grip was too strong. "Noah- I can’t ask you to do that. That’s not fair. You deserve-"

“Don’t tell me what you think I deserve." I let out a shaky breath. "Look, heaven knows I’m not getting over you, I can wait”

“Besides. I’m known for having a lot of fuckin patience. I will wait." I finished with a shrug.

If I wasn't already staring intently at her, I almost would have missed the small nod she gave me; but I didn't. I saw it.

“Goodnight Noah.”

With one final kiss, not enough to remember the way she tastes, Y/N let the door shut behind her as I burned my hateful gaze through it. She left? How the fuck could she just leave after the night we had together?

No, fuck that.

I barreled through the door in time to notice she was only two doors down, frozen in her spot.

"Angel," I called after her.

Slowly, she turned, and I sucked in a breath when I saw the redness in her eyes, puffy with teh tears she let out as soon as the door closed. Mine mirrored hers.

"Please," I begged. "Just come back to me. I'll wait for you."

Y/N hesitated but within that hesitation, something stood out clear as day; she took a small step towards me until that doubt filled the back of her mind yet again. I stayed in the hallway watching as she turned the corner, disappearing from my vision and life; my words not being enough to make her stay.

Back inside the room, I let the door slam shut and made a beeline toward the minibar. I screwed off the cap of the Hennessy, downing half of it in one go.

"Bitter ends to the night. I'm along for the ride," I raised the bottle in the air before taking another long, slow gulp with my eyes screwed shut.

Suddenly, they snapped open, and I rummaged around the mess of my room for my phone, quickly typing out a text to Jolly.

I need to write a song, now.

Only a few minutes passed before he responded, just enough time for me to pop open another bottle.

Now? It's three in the morning and we have nothing here.

Doesn't fucking matter. I'll figure it out. Come to my room.

Letting the bottle slip from my fingers, I stalked over to the wall and slid down until my ass hit the floor with a thud; the image of Y/N crying and walking away burned into my brain. I was out of breath, out of time trying to stop her but, in the end, everything has a price. And I was paying for it. 

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

[delaber]

The Massage (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Summary: Despite the ache in his thigh, Bucky has been avoiding the new massage therapist for quite some time now.

Note: Okay, so due to an unnecessarily hot gif (and I mean unnecessarily hot), the original post with this story was unfortunately put in tumblr jail last night. This is a repost of that story. Please help me by spreading this fic even if you've already reblogged the original. I'd appreciate it immensely ❤️

Warnings: Smut, smut, and purely smut - with a plot! Pining, teasing, edging, Bucky is highly stimulated from his massage. Slight age kink and with a fluffy ending.

Words: 6.1K

For five months, Bucky has avoided coming here like the plague. He has made up excuses, hid in his bedroom, tried ordering all sorts of remedies online, and has even resorted to massaging the aching thigh himself, but of course Sam - the rat - had eventually had enough of his moaning and complaining, and had told on Bucky first chance he got.

Bucky knows that his annoyance towards Sam is uncalled for - that his thigh has become a nuisance, a reliability that is keeping him from performing as well in the field as he used to, but even though he has long since realised that the strain in the muscle will feel a lot better after just a few rounds of professional massage, he's still been praying every night for it to go away on its own just to avoid finding himself in exactly the situation he's in now: visiting the in-house massage therapist who also happens to have his heart beating a little faster every time she smiles at him. You.

He knows there's no way out, that he eventually has to knock on the door in front of him and step inside your office, but his heart is racing like crazy in his chest and the jump from the window right next to him might not result in a particularly comfortable landing but it will definitely be more comfortable than the hell he surely will release upon himself when he feels your touch. It's a professional setting and the things he wants to do to you are fucking far from professional! He shouldn't even be having these thoughts; you're friends - colleagues even - and he's so much older than you. It's... creepy.

"It's just an hour, it's just an hour," he closes his eyes and breathes hard, hopes it's enough to calm himself down and forget about all the wonderful self-relief sessions he's had with you painted on the back of his eyelids. "- you can behave yourself for one hour..." he sighs and reluctantly releases the tense muscles of his right arm so the closed fist falls forwards and hits the door in front of him with a bang much louder than intended.

For a second, everything goes quiet.

He hopes it's because you have forgotten all about the appointment Sam fixed between you a few days prior, but then he hears shuffling on the other side of the wall, and it doesn't take long before the door with your name written on it swings open and reveals your bright smile that immediately warms up his abdomen.

"Bucky!" you exclaim happily and make room for him in the doorway, "come on in!"

"Thanks..." he mumbles more grumpily than intended and steps inside the dimly lit room that smells like flowers, warm citrus and that massage oil that has made your fingers more softer-looking than anything he's ever set his eyes on before. It's a setup for failure.

"I'm so happy you're here! I was wondering when you'd finally stop by," you chirp happily from behind him and even though he can hear the question in your voice, he's not about to answer why he hasn't sought your help sooner. "Sam tells me you pulled a muscle in your groin a couple of months back."

"Yeah," he clears his throat and avoids looking you directly in the eye, "it's no big deal, it'll heal..."

"I kinda figured you'd say something like that," you happily tilt your head to the side and search his face, "why don't you strip down to your underwear and I'll take a look at what I can do to help you."

Oh doll, you can do so much to help me! He clears his throat and bites back the unwelcome thought as he quickly pulls off his shirt and jeans.

"Okay, so tell me," you smile at him when he sits down on the massage bed and spreads his legs out to the sides so you have easier access to the affected area. "- exactly where is the pain located?"

Ready to get this whole ordeal done and over with, he quickly points to the area on his inner thigh that feels as if someone's plunging a knife deep into the tissue every time he takes a step forwards. "Right here - but it's really not a big deal. You don't have to do this."

"It's my job," you chuckle sweetly before you direct your gaze down to the area surrounding his groin.

Immediately, Bucky can feel his face grow hot as your beautiful eyes visually inspect the skin right below the hem of his boxer shorts, and he has to keep himself from instinctively closing his legs shut in silent embarrassment.

"Hmm, you do look a bit tense..." you scrunch up your nose in concentration and the warmth in his stomach deepens. You're way too cute for your own good. " - I think I'd like to start off by loosing up the muscles around your hipbone. Could you turn around and lie down on your stomach please?" you ask and look up into his eyes with a cute little gaze. He's never had you this up close before and it's definitely doing something bad to him.

"Yep," he croaks and immediately turns around so his burning face meets the hole in the mattress below him.

He can hear you squeeze out a gentle amount of massage oil from a tube next to the bed and you heat it up by rubbing it between your hands while he with closed fists and hypervigilant senses braces himself for the inevitable touch.

"Alright, Barnes. I'm gonna start touching you gently now," you say in a soft, professional tone and he cannot help but squeeze his eyes shut. "- don't worry, it'll feel good."

"Yeah," he clears his throat and desperately focuses on his jumping nerves to try and get them under control. Your words of comfort are not exactly reassuring when 'feeling good' is exactly what he's worried about...

"Here we go," you conclude in a quiet sing-song voice right before you gently put your hands on his upper thigh and start running your fingers over the tight bundle of painful muscles. It hurts at first but after just a few seconds of your fingers on his skin, he can feel the tightness slowly disappearing.

Professionally, you massage the aching tissue deeper and deeper, and Bucky feels how his jaw slowly eases up in time with the tension of his thigh. Your fingers are dancing over his lower half, squeezing the tight muscles and caressing his skin, and it doesn't take long before your warm fingers and the citrus in the air send his protective parades crumbling. Suddenly, his thigh doesn't really hurt anymore and he's so relaxed that he let's go of the tension in his shoulders too and his eyes automatically close shut without warning. A slow song is playing soothingly from somewhere in the room and while your fingers are working magic on his tissue, he feels himself disappear into it.

Your hands are slowly moving from the middle of his leg to the area right underneath the hem of his boxers, and your oily fingers suddenly slip down to his inner thigh where they warmly start kneading the skin.

You move his leg a little out to the side and briefly press in on a point near his crotch that has him soaring! Sweetheart, it feels so good, he almost groans and melts into the mattress when he suddenly feels a stray finger touch an even more sensitive area on his already burning skin. Ah fuck! He has to stop himself from whimpering as your warm palms soothe his sore muscles while the soft pad from your stray finger gently rubs and touches the sensitive spot on his gracilis muscle right where it attaches to the back of his pelvis. Shit, he feels amazing! He just wants your soft, oily hands to stay on him forever! Just wants them to rub and tug and slip further and further down between his thighs until they eventually slip inside his boxers and feel the warm, pulsing area where he really wants your touch! And if he's lucky, you might just ask him to flip around onto his back so you can climb on top of him in your cute little uniform and pull back the skin at the tip of his cock with your hands. Or your mouth. Or your glistening, tight, wet pussy. Fuck!

He hisses.

Involuntarily, and because he's so relaxed, he's accidentally managed to excite himself a little too much and now there's nothing he can do to stop it! He wants to - but oh God he can't! So when he feels the blood rush from his stomach and down to the only region he does not want it right now, he can only lie there and panic in silence.

He feels himself grow hard in time with his blurring vision and he wants to tell you to stop your motions, to let go of him and leave the room pronto, but how the hell is he supposed to do that without giving himself and his treacherous dick away? You can never know the effect you have on him! You're so sweet, and so young and innocent, and he's almost fucking forty! Fuck, he's sweating like crazy!

Blissfully unaware of the inner battle going on inside Bucky's head, you keep massaging his thigh heavenly, and even though he tries so hard to think of something else - anything else! - he can only think of the soft touch you're providing... Your hands are so warm and so oily and he's growing harder and harder by the second while your innocent fingers dance only mere inches away from his not so innocent erection.

Fuck, fuck, fuck what the fuck is he supposed to do now?

"Barnes, are you okay?" You ask him gently and slow down your movements so your hands almost come to a halt when you feel him tensing up, "- do you want me to ease up a little?"

"No, no, it's fine," he breathes and feels a fresh surge of blood streaming down to his crotch when your fingers stroke his thigh affectionately to get him to relax. As long as he stays on his front, it shouldn't be an issue. He has time to make the raging boner go away before you ask him to turn around.

"Okay, good. Let me know if you need a break," you hum and touch him gently while he thinks of baseball, of cold cups of coffee and stale crackers, of Sam's oldie slippers and the stain on the floor below him - anything to try and control the relentless erection that is pulsing and screaming and begging to be touched!

But no matter how hard he tries, his erection won't calm down. Not when you're touching him so sweetly.

"Alright Barnes," you say after a few of his panicked minutes and slowly take a step backwards. "Could you turn around for me please?"

Fuck...

He opens his eyes and fixates his gaze on the stain below him as his face heats up. "T-turn around?" he gulps and feels how his entire body suddenly seems to be impatiently pulsing along with the prominent erection.

"Yeah, I'd like to take a look at your groin now that we've loosened your muscles up a bit."

Jesus fucking Christ, he's sweating balls! How's he ever going to recover from this?

"You know what? It already feels better thanks!" he tries and hopes he sounds convincing and not too panicked.

"Yes, well you've been lying down for twenty minutes," you chuckle, "- it'll come back as soon as you start moving, trust me."

"I can always come back tomorrow if it acts up again."

"We both know you won't..."

"No, I promise. It already feels so much better!"

"Barnes, what's wrong?"

Fuck, there's truly no way out...

"Sweetheart," he clenches his eyes shut and prepares himself for your terrible reaction to what he's about to confess, "I have a bit of a - uh - a... problem..."

"A problem? What kind of problem?" you sound concerned, and if it hadn't been for the horrible situation he's in, his chest would've probably swelled with pride that you care for him.

"It's a - uhm, shit - it's a... guy's problem."

"Oh?" You become quiet for half a second and he can practically hear how the gears in your head turn until the penny suddenly drops. "Oh!" you let go of him as if you've been scorched by fire and he suddenly feels so much worse. Poor woman.

"Yep," his voice is thick and awkward, and he wishes he had jumped out the window when he still had the chance. Now he's gonna scare you away for good and it's all Sam's fault!

"Hey - hey, it's okay," you reassure him softly and put a hand down between his shoulder blades when his entire body goes rigid with shame. "Barnes, it's a perfectly normal reaction to a massage in that area! Please don't feel embarrassed about it - you're not the first client in here who's been experiencing a problem. Sometimes it just happens."

He feels a weird pang of jealousy when he thinks about how your sweet, innocent hands have made some of his male friends at the compound as raging horny as he is right now. He doesn't have the heart to tell you that it doesn't have anything to do with the massage itself and everything to do with the person who's giving it.

"Come on, just turn around for me, okay? I won't hold it against you. I know it's nothing personal."

But it is, he thinks to himself before he with a tight-lipped smile and clenched jaw turns around on the massage table. He knows you well enough to know that you won't let him go before you've looked at his thigh.

He gulps when he sees how tightly his boxers are draped over his hips and the massive erection is standing like a fucking pole vaulter in the air between you. "Jesus fuck, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," you smile professionally while looking anywhere than directly at his embarrassing vulnerability. "Maybe it's better if you sit?"

"Yeah, yeah maybe," he sighs in defeat and swings his legs over the side of the mattress as he pathetically tries to readjust himself so the erection tucked inside his grey boxers does not look as prominent as it did while lying down.

"You good?" you ask when he stops shuffling and he quickly nods in return. "Good - you wanna continue?"

Not really. "Yeah, whatever."

"Alright," you step over to him and professionally fix your gaze on his thigh, "could you spread your legs apart a little?"

"Sure," he does as he's told while clearing his throat, pretty sure that his entire face is currently a mixture between plum- and beet-coloured.

"Let me know if it's too much, okay?" you smile reassuringly and slowly reach your hands forwards.

"Mm-hmm," he clenches his jaw shut to avoid involuntary sounds when your small fingers finally touch his thigh again and you quickly resume your massage with a professional expression slapped across your face.

Carefully, you move the hem of his boxers a little upwards and squeeze out a gentle amount of massage oil into the palm of your hand before you make the mistake of looking him deep in the eye as your fingers find his skin again. The look you're sending him is giving him goosebumps and you gulp and briefly look away when he involuntarily hisses at the touch.

"Barnes, you - uh - you want a towel or something?" You ask and he can practically hear the discomfort in your voice.

More embarrassed than he's ever been, he looks down at himself and notices how the entire front of his boxers is now soaked in pre-cum. "Oh god!" He instinctively pulls his hand over to cover up the huge wet stain and feels how his ears grow impossibly warm. "Fuck, I am so, so sorry."

"It's okay," you hand him a small white towel to cover himself with.

"God, I'm so fucking embarrassed," he drops the cloth down into his groin and wishes he could disappear down into the mattress instead of facing this absolute hellish nightmare! "You must think I'm such a creep..."

"No it's alright," you smile sheepishly and start working on his thigh again, clearly feigning a professional attitude.

He sighs. He cannot believe he's doing this to you.

"Barnes don't worry, okay? I know you're a nice guy."

"Still..." he clenches his eyes shut as your small fingers find one of the sensitive spots on his inner thigh underneath the hem of his boxers and has to lock his jaw to avoid giving out a groan.

He can hear how you chuckle lightly from behind the stars that are blinking on the back of his eyelids.

"I'm glad you're amused."

"Sorry, sorry," you snigger softly, "I've just never seen you this discomposed before. I'll be quick so we can get you back to your room to take care of it," you joke to diffuse the tension.

"Yeah, thanks," he gulps and feels how yet another drop of precum leaves his leaking head when you press in on the spot again. He's so turned on he can feel his nostrils dilating, his thighs shaking, and he just wants to fucking reach inside his underwear and fuck his fist until he comes! God, this is so much worse than anything he could've ever imagined! He's going to kill Sam for this!

"Wow, you're really having a hard time," you smile a little to yourself as you steal a glance up at his pained expression.

"Give me a break, sweetheart," he groans with eyes snapped shut in embarrassment, "Your lubed-up hands are basically on my crotch and let's be honest," he gulps and slowly opens his eyes again, "- you're not exactly displeasing to look at."

Your eyes widen slightly at his confession before a proud smile tugs the corners of your mouth upwards. "What Barnes?" you chuckle proudly to yourself, "- you like the way I look?"

"Come on, don't pretend you don't notice half the guys here staring at you."

"Okay you got me there," you laugh sweetly and direct your attention back to your steady working hands, "I have noticed a few stray glances here and there - I just haven't noticed any from you, so yeah, I'm a bit surprised."

"Well, you can take this as confirmation that I like looking at you too," he awkwardly points to the throbbing erection between you. He figures it's better to discuss the elephant in the room instead of ignoring it. Maybe you can have a laugh about it later...

God, he hopes so.

"Hey, come on," you tilt your head to the side when you see his pained expression, "stop beating yourself up. It's a relaxed atmosphere in here and with the aromas and the music, I understand that some guys let go. It's completely normal."

"No, sweetheart, it's not," he sighs. "I don't know. At least not for me."

"It's not?" You chuckle while still working on his thigh.

"This has never happened before, I swear."

"So the fear of getting an accidental erection isn't the reason why you've avoided coming here?"

"No, sweetheart," he sighs and adjusts himself on the mattress, "it's not."

"So -" you bite your lower lip and fix your gaze on an undefined spot on his thigh to avoid his eye. "- if I understand you correctly; what you're basically saying is that you're hard because of, well, me?"

"Yep," he sucks in a breath of air when he feels your movements still and he braces himself for the angry rejection before he looks over at you. You're staring at him wide-eyed and doe-like with your mouth hanging a little open, not sure how to respond to his confession.

"I'm sorry," he croaks, "you must think I'm a total asshole..."

"No, no, no, not at all..."  you shake your head and clear your throat while sending him a nervous glance. "I think you're quite cute, actually..."

His mind goes completely blank. He's been called many things in his life, but never that.

"...cute?"

"Yeah," you nod quietly. "I - uhm - I guess I've been having this teensy tiny crush on you so - uhm - yeah," you smile, all flustered, "- you know."

"You have a crush on me?"

"Yeah," you scrunch up your nose and lick your lips. "I mean... look at you," you gesture to nothing in particular, and he can feel his chest go all warm with pride as you look him over.

"So you're not freaked out?"

"No, no not at all," you admit with a shake of your head. "You've been driving me up the wall for ages, you know."

"I - I have?"

"Yeah..." you nod, "I've actually been hoping you'd stop by here so I'd have an excuse to, you know, touch you," you admit and now it's your turn to look embarrassed. "It's wildly unprofessional, I know."

"No, no you're good. You're being very professional about... this," he nods while pointing to his crotch. "I swear, if I wasn't so insanely attracted to you, I wouldn't be so... bothered."

"Yeah, you do look a bit flushed," you give him a crooked smile.

"I know..."

"So..." you bite your lower lip again and move in close enough for him to hear your heartbeat, to suddenly smell that you're aroused too and it's driving him absolutely insane! "...I have a crush on you," you stroke his thigh affectionately, "- and you have a crush on me."

He nods and scoots a little closer to you, careful not to scare your hand away from its close proximity to his crotch. "What are we gonna do about that?" he pants and puts a hand to your face, stroking your cheek and hoping to dear God that you'll let him kiss you.

"I don't know," you whisper and lean in close, stopping with your lips mere inches from his and with huge doe eyes staring straight at him.

"My god," he groans and runs his thumb over your cheek again, "you are beautiful," he whispers and slowly moves his face until his lips finally come into contact with yours.

The kiss starts off slowly. Bucky is careful not to pressure you into anything and simply just concentrates on the feeling of your impossibly soft lips on top of his. It's pillowy and wet, sensual and sexy and he's strung along, never wanting to let go of you.

"Peach," he whispers when your mouth strays away from his and starts moving down his jaw and throat. "Peach, you don't have to do this. Please don't feel pressured into anything just because I'm excited okay?"

"I'm excited too," you whisper and carefully place your hand on the tight bulge at the apex of his thighs so a bolt of lightening shocks through him. "- my excitement is just not as visible as yours," you place a wet kiss on top of his jugular. "You don't have to go back to your room to take care of this, you know," you bite back a smile as you stroke over his tight balls so his Adam's apple bounces uncomfortably in his throat.

"Sweetheart," he pants, not sure if this is really happening or if the sudden rush of blood to his crotch has him imagining things.

"I can help you..." you say quietly and move your palm over him so he gives out an involuntary groan.

"Doll," he sucks in some air and stutters his hips upwards, silently begging for more.

You understand his cue, and you lean in close so you can lick the shell of his ear as your fingers find their way underneath his waistband. As soon as your oily fingers come into contact with his burning skin, he can no longer hold back the moan that's been sitting on the edge of his throat for a good half hour now and he once again stutters his hips upwards when you close your fist around him and start stroking him slowly.

"Sweetheart," he groans against your skin and you give out a noticeable shudder when his hands snake under your shirt so he can caress the soft skin of your stomach. "Oh my God!" he whines and runs his nails over your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"You like this?" you whisper and tug his earlobe between your teeth.

"Fuck yes! I've been thinking about touching you since the first time I saw you."

"Yeah?" You pant against him and reach down to cup his balls with one hand while the other continuously strokes up and down his veiny shaft. "Been thinking of me all wet and naked for you?"

"Fuck," he whimpers and finds your pebbled nipples underneath your shirt and roll them between his fingers. "Yes."

"What have you been thinking about?"

"Your mouth," he breathes and pinches your nipples between his fingertips, "your slutty little mouth. All wet and tight for me."

"My mouth?" you giggle against him and gently bite down on his earlobe so he gasps loudly, "want me to make your little fantasy come true?"

"Oh god, yes doll! Please," he whimpers and you immediately drop to the floor between his open thighs, sitting on your knees and strutting your ass as you grab him by the root, rubbing his cock over your cheek and lips as he whines above you.

"Is this what you wanted?" you send him a wide-eyed look while your pink tongue finally pushes past your plump lips and lick the underside of his almost purple head.

"Fuck! Yes, yes doll! Please suck me" He hisses and feels his toes buzz when your tongue slowly runs over the slit at the tip, "ah baby!" he groans and watches how you flatten your tongue and wetly licks him all over his leaking head. "Please put me in your mouth, please!"

"I like you begging," you pant and lick him from root to tip, ending the long lap by closing your lips fully around him.

"Oh god, oh fuck," he shoots his head backwards, never looking away from the angel between his legs. Spit and precum is running down the side of his shaft and he swears, he's never felt this amazing before. He's about to explode just looking at you!

"Mmh," you hum around him, sending beautiful vibrations through his cock and all the way down to his balls.

"Look at you," he groans sinfully and notices how you clench your thighs together when he reaches forwards and strokes your cheek, "such a good girl for me, sweetheart. Are you getting all wet as you suck my cock?"

"Mmh," you nod with a muffled confirmation as your plump lips slide from base to tip and back down again.

"Ah - shit doll," he hisses while completely giving himself into you as he grabs your chin and strokes you affectionately.

"Mmh, Bucky," you whisper his name so sweetly and move your face so you can lap at his balls.

He throws his head backwards as your tongue stroke over the tight skin while your hand pumps him slowly. "Jesus fuck sweetheart," he moans and puts a finger under your chin forcing you to look back up at him. "Get up here. Now!"

Excitedly, you give him a hard suck before your let go of him with a soft pop and obediently oblige his command by climbing up on the mattress next to him.

"Mmh, look at what you're doing to me," he chuckles and leans in close so he can finally taste your lips again. Immediately, your tongue is inside his mouth and it's so wet and so warm that he grows even harder even though he didn't think it possible.

His hand snakes under your shirt again and you give out a small whine when he pulls it over your head.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted this," he pushes your breasts out of your bra and starts toying with your nipples. "It's crazy," he mumbles as he lies you down on the mattress and sucks your perky nipples between his lips, swirling his tongue around the bud.

Immediately, you arch your back and give out a sinful moan that reverberates through the dimly lit room and vibrates around his tighter than ever balls.

"Tell me what you want," he whispers against your skin and moves to the other nipple while his hand finds your panties underneath your white skirt. "God, you're already so wet for me," he whimpers and pushes his fingers underneath the hem of the soaked fabric so he can touch your warm skin.

"All for you," you arch your back and moan when he pushes two fingers inside of you, moving them rhythmically so they squelch and squeeze around your g-spot. You whimper and close your eyes, enjoying the sensations he's sending through your body, the tingle of warm flames that lick at the bottom of your spine.

"Tell me what you want, sweetheart," he repeats and licks your neck, "You deserve it."

"I want you inside of me," you moan and tug at his hair, the sensation deliciously toeing the line between pleasure and pain.

"You want me to fuck you?" He whispers and drags his teeth over your collarbone while his fingers pulsate inside of you.

"Yes!" You whine and pull at his hair again as a particularly loud moan escapes you.

"Oh sweetheart," he groans when his fingers slide out of you to the tune of a disappointed little whimper falling from your open mouth. "Don't worry, I'll fill you up," he kisses your collarbone and looks down between your sweating bodies as he lines himself up with your entrance and pushes himself half inside, giving himself a second to get used to the tightness that you provide. "Oh god," he whispers and pushes himself a little further inside, "fuck you're so sexy!"

"Fuck me, Bucky," you reach up and caress his chin as you wrap your legs around his waist, digging your heels into his ass and pushing him closer to you.

Suddenly, he's buried to the hilt. "Fuck me," he whispers and starts moving rhythmically to the sound of you squelching around him. "You are so fucking sexy!" He bites your nipples again, moving his hips slowly, sensually. "It's been so goddamn frustrating pretending that I'm not attracted to you when all I've been wanting to do is fuck you in every possible position around the compound."

"Yeah, think of what the others would say if they knew about this."

He gives out a whimper and can feel himself twitching inside of you at the thought before he starts rutting his hips faster, his hips snapping relentlessly into yours.

"You like that?" You smile naughtily and grab his ass, "you like that you're not supposed to fuck me?"

"Yes," he admits with a grunt and rolls his hips sensually, desperate for more friction.

"You like that I'm so young?" You clench tightly around him. "Wow, imagine what Sam would say! He would be so angry, you know that!"

"Fuck!" He gasps and falls forwards so his metal hand lands beside your head. He's close now, he can feel how every muscle of his body tenses up and he knows he just needs a few more snaps of his hips and he's coming - so he pulls out.

Panting relentlessly, he looks down at his throbbing dick, concentrating hard on not cumming all over the beautiful woman in front of him who's still whining and begging for his touch. "Not yet, not yet, not yet," he pants to himself and takes a deep breath before looking back at you. "Shit, you are so beautiful," he licks his lips and fixates his glance on your tiny fingers disappearing inside yourself.

Without thinking, he immediately falls to his knees on the floor beside the mattress and starts planting small, peppery kisses to the insides of your legs. You're soaking wet, moist all the way down your thighs, and he scratches his beard along the soft skin as he pushes your small fingers away, instead introducing his own digits and tongue to your swollen clit. "Mmh, baby," he mumbles against your wet skin and licks you all the way from hole to clit, giving the latter a hard suck that have you trembling above him.

You're tugging at his hair with one hand, pinching your nipples with the other as you arch your back and moan his name in time with the fingers he's thrusting in and out of you while lapping at your sex.

"Bucky, I'm so close," you whimper with eyes closed, your chest rising and falling in steady beats underneath your soaked nipples.

"Come for me," he whispers against your skin and ruts his hips into nothing while his fingers and tongue are working you expertly.

Your moans are rising in pitch and he can feel how you clench more and more around his fingers until it's so tight he's almost pushed out of you. "Bucky!" You half-moan,  half-scream as you fall over the edge burying your fingers in his hair and - oh God, he's cumming too!

Without even being touched, cum is shooting out of him and pattering all over the linoleum flooring below his knees while his fingers and tongue are buried inside of you, and you pull so sweetly at his hair in desperation.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He grunts and ruts his hips into thin air as he keeps cumming even after you've released your hard grip around his hair. "Oh my god," he shoots back his head and can feel a drop of sweat trickling down his temple when he finally comes down from his high again. "Oh shit, oh fuck! Sweetheart, I - I just came all over your floor."

"It's okay," you smile blissfully and remove your fingers from his scalp, "I'll clean it up before... shit, SAM!" your sit up straight, eyes wide with horror. "Shit!" you hiss again and immediately scramble to the floor, looking at your watch and collecting your clothes from all over the room. "I have Sam coming for a massage in three minutes!"

"Not the kind of massage I just had, I hope" Bucky sniggers and quickly wipes up his cum with the towel he'd used to cover his erection.

"Don't worry, those are reserved just for you," you chuckle and pull your shirt over your head.

"I sure hope so," Bucky smiles boyishly and dresses quickly, stealing several glances over at you as you fix your makeup in the mirror in the corner. "Does - does Sam get erections when he's here?" he asks. He cannot help himself, he has to know. The thought alone has his guts squeeze uncomfortably at his insides.

"Are you kidding me? Sam sees me as a little sister, he would never!"

"Yeah, true," Bucky chuckles in relief and pulls on his shoes, "...Hey, uh, I don't know about you, but I really enjoyed this."

"Me too," you turn around and smile blissfully at him, "very much."

"You wanna - you wanna do it again?"

"Yeah," you snigger and lean your hip against the table he had you naked upon no more than a couple of minutes ago, "yeah, I wanna do this again! I think maybe fixing your thigh is gonna be a long process!"

"Yeah?" He smiles broadly at the joking expression you're wearing, "Same time tomorrow then?"

"God, yes! Can't wait," you laugh and give out a happy sigh as you cutely bite your lower lip. "Now run along before Sam comes barging in!" you chuckle, "I thought you wanted to keep this secret."

"Yeah... at least for a little while," he shrugs and feels his head go dizzy when you smile broadly at him.

"See you later, Barnes."

"See you sweetheart," he chuckles and winks at you before he's out the door.

As soon as he steps into the cold hallway, he's met by a sour looking Sam who's occupying one of the chairs outside your office, his arms crossed firmly around his chest as he angrily stares at Bucky. "How long have you been here?"

"I came ten minutes early," Sam hisses through gritted teeth and Bucky can almost see the angry fumes radiating from his friend's scalp. "- what the hell was that?"

"What?"

"Bucky, you better not be doing what I think you just did in there!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Man, what the hell is the matter with you?" Sam stands up, his angry vein already popping threateningly above his temple.

"What? You're the one who said I should go see her!"

"Yeah! For a massage!"

"I did get a massage!"

"Jesus Christ, Bucky! You're old enough to be her granddad!"

Weirdly enough, it just turns him on even more.

Tagging: @natbarnes1917 @summerofsnowflakes @randomfandompenguin @goldylions @anxietyandtacos @maggiebuchanan @justsebstan @eddiestrash @crushedbyhyperbole @buckysdollforlife @getofffmydick @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople @wermoewe

#bucky barnes kinktober #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky kinktober #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #needy bucky #tfatws #sebastian stan #bucky imagine #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #winter soldier #kinktober 2022

[ottosuricatoblog]

"Fucked."

Author: it's been a long while since I've written anything, but my latest obsession with Sandor turned out into this. I hope you enjoy it! If you do so, let me know, I might continue their story!

Part 2 to this here

Link my masterlist

Y/N Stark was not an ordinary girl. Well, at least she was not what people in Westeros considered a 'proper' girl. She didn't like sewing, prefering to be outside practicing sword fighting or archery. She didn't enjoy dances or wearing fancy dresses, finding herself much more comfortable in other (sometimes much bloodier) scenarios. Being the oldest Stark, she is aware she was supposed to be married by now. She had turned down about 5 proposals of marriage, much to her mother's disgrace. Y/N didn't want to marry some butterfingered knight with the only purpose of getting knocked up. She had yet to meet a man who made her feel hot and bothered in the right places. Until that day.

The first time Sandor saw her, he knew she was going to be trouble. It happened when he visited Winterfell along with the King and the rest of the fuckers. When he took off the helmet and looked up, meeting her eyes, he felt something he had never felt before. It couldn't be love. Sandor 'the Hound' Clegane only knew hate. He didn't believe in love, let alone love at fucking first sight. But, when she smiled at him, all he could think was "I'm fucked."

After looking for him for a while, he found Sandor by the stables, leaning on a wall with a drink in his hand. She felt the same butterflies in her stomach she had when she saw him for the first time that morning.

"Don't enjoy a party?" Y/N asked with a smirk.

He turned his head in her direction, hoping it was not who he thought it was. When he saw her, he had the same feeling as this morning, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Prefer to be alone." He grunted, looking away.

His hoarse voice made her feel things she shouldn't be feeling.

"I'm Y/N Stark." She said, bowing. "And I won't bother you, Ser. Drinking alone next to horse shite seems like a fantastic plan."

Sandor looked at her again, finding a smug smirk in her face. Gods, that smile. "I'm no Ser. And you shouldn't be outside this late."

He stood up straight, which made her able to realize his actual height. He was huge compared to her. Well, compared to pretty much everyone.

"Oh, don't worry about me." She said. "I can take care of myself."

"Can you, now?" He let a little smirk show. He shouldn't be talking to her, let alone fucking flirting. What's wrong with him?

"Perfectly, eh..." She made a pause, suggesting him to introduce himself. She had to know the name of the man who's making her feel this way.

"Sandor." He said. "Sandor Clegane."

"I'll leave you to it then, Sandor Clegane." She turned to leave, looking at his lips for a few seconds beforehand. "Good night."

Watching her leave, all he could think about was the sound of his name, his real name, on her lips, and he wanted to hear it over and over again.

"Good night, little wolf." He whispered.

He avoided her as much as he could the following days, thinking that if he didn't see her, the feeling would go away. Yet, all he could think about was the movement of her legs as she walked away from him that night, her gaze on his lips, her own lips... It was driving him mad.

Y/N knew he was not going to initiate anything, so she decided to take the matter into her own hands. If he didn't want her, he would have to tell her himself.

Sandor was on the way to his chambers when he felt a hand on his forearm, dragging him into a room nearby. He tightened, motioning for his sword, but soon relaxed as he realized who it was.

"The fuck you doing?" He grunted, scanning the room. It looked like a storehouse of some kind.

"Well, hello to you too." She said, sarcasm evident in her voice and a smirk on her face.

He stood there, taking a look at her. The light in the room was dim, but he could appreciate her figure. She wasn't scared of him or disgusted by his face. Instead, she was standing there, teasing him, with that fucking smile on her face.

"I've been meaning to talk to you." She started. "But it seems we don't seem to happen to meet."

"Here I am." He says, his voice low and husky. "Talk."

She feels her nipples become hard at his tone, and she bits her lip.

His gaze moves to her breasts, his cock becoming hard at the sight. She's standing there, biting her lip, and looking at him with a look that makes him weak in the knees.

"If you keep looking at me like that, dove..." He sighs, taking a step towards her. He shouldn't, and he knows.

She instinctively takes a step back, meeting a wall. Looking up at him, she finds the courage to talk. "What are you going to do, big boy?"

He places a hand above her head on the wall, leaning into her. "Tell me to stop, Y/N." He whispers, their mouths approaching. "Tell me to stop because if you don't, I don't think I'm..."

She interrupts him by pressing her lips to his in a passionate kiss. He groans, kissing her back.

She throws her arms around his neck and, in response, he picks her up, her legs around his waist. She feels his tongue on her bottom lip, asking for permission, which she gladly gives him.

"Sandor." She moans against his lips.

"Fuck." He grunts, pressing her harder against the wall and moving his lips to her neck.

They make out for a few minutes. He doubts he's ever been harder and judging the sounds Y/N is making, she's pretty affected as well. This makes it really hard for him to stop, but he has to.

"Little wolf, I really don't want to stop, but we need to." He says against her lips. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"Sandor, I want you." She moans, kissing him again. "I don't care about my father, about my brothers or the fucking King."

This makes him laugh and he leans his head on her shoulder. "I'm not fucking you in a storehouse."

She groans desperately. "Why not?"

He laughs again, setting her on the ground. "Because I'm pretty sure you're a virgin." He starts, and she blushes. "Because you're Y/N Stark." He caresses her face. "And because I don't deserve you."

She frowns. "It's not for you to decide who I fuck, Sandor. I am a virgin, and I am Y/N Stark."

Sandor sighs.

She holds his face. "I hadn't felt this way about anybody in my life. I hadn't felt an urge to kiss someone, to be near someone."

He knows exactly what she's talking about, because he's feeling the exact same, so he leans in and kisses her. The kiss is different from the ones before, it's sweet.

"I'll come find you tonight." He whispers against her lips.

He turns, opening the door and holding it for her. She smiles at him, kissing him one more time before leaving. He stays in the room, smiling to himself. He is indeed fucked.

Part 2 here

#sandor clegane #sandor clegane x reader #rory mccann #sandor the hound clegane #game of thrones

[thecatundertheladder]

how about fsm's and lloyds first meeting in the fsm lives au?

First of all thank you so much for asking!!! I had a lot of fun writing this even if took ages. Right so I haven't completely figured out when the ninja actually meet Fsm, but I'll get to that later. I do have a rough timeline so probably in between seasons five and six (Possession will obviously get retconned a lot). Garmadon is alive btw.

Lloyd had never really made the connection between his grandfather and the First Spinjitzu Master. Like sure he knew it logically, but there was a real difference between 'my grandfather is the First Spinjitzu Master' and 'the First Spinjitzu Master is my grandfather'. And besides, the guy was dead, as far as he could tell, so it didn't really matter other than 'hey I inherited cool powers and also his arch nemesis'. Honestly, the only things Lloyd knew about his grandfather were that he invented spinjitzu, used the golden weapons to create Ninjago, fought the Overlord, and he had two kids, who happened to be Lloyd's dad and uncle.

So naturally it was quite a shock when one day at breakfast Wu announced that his father was coming to visit in a few days.

What resulted from that statement was a rather long and, uh, productive (not really) conversation (a very loud debate).

Cole: What?! But he’s supposed to be dead! Kai: No no one of my village elders said he just left this realm and would return when we need him most. Morro: Nah grandpa just does whatever he likes. Though he was in another realm last time I checked, at least that's right. Jay: What the fuck does that even mean?!

That ,of course, sparked a whole other debate about why Morro knew that. It got sorted out in the end, eventually, after a few thrown noodle bowls.

But while the others seemed to calm down after that, Lloyd steadily got more anxious. Because this was his grandfather, the man who had created Ninjago itself, and fought the Overlord the first time. Yes, Lloyd had done that as well, but what if he didn’t met his grandfather's expectations? What if he was disappointed in him?

Morro, on the other hand, was pretty excited to see his grandpa again; it had been two years, and despite Morro taking advantage of Fsm's omniscience to inform him about various coming and goings, he hadn’t had an actual conversation, and he had a lot of things to show him as well. But Lloyd had seemed pretty anxious since Wu’s announcement, so, like any good older cousin, Morro cornered him on the way to breakfast.

Morro: What’s up with you? You’ve been anxious ever since dad told us grandpa was coming here. Lloyd, mumbling: What if I don't live up to his expectations? Morro: Huh? Lloyd, louder: What if he's disapointed in me? Morro: As someone who's actually meet him, his expectations are don't die, and don't kill innocent people. Pretty low expectations if you ask me. You'll be fine.

This makes Lloyd feel a bit better, but he's still anxious, and he refuses to talk to anyone else about it because, to him at least, it seems a bit dumb to be anxious about meeting his grandfather when no else is (they are, Lloyd just hasn't noticed).

Anyway fast forward to The Day of The Arrival. Lloyd gets up earlier than usual in order to mentally prepare himself for meeting God. And, since he's expecting to have a few hours before the First Spinjitzu Master arrives, he doesn't really bother to make himself presentable before making his way to the kitchen.

This was a mistake.

Because when lloyd enters the kitchen there's man(?) sitting at the table wearing a black kimono with gold detailing. And Lloyd's first though is 'fuck, its the First Spinjitzu Master' before he realises that the man (? seriously why is it so hard to tell) is in his late thirties at most. So Lloyd's next thought is 'why is this random person in my kitchen?'

Lloyd, suspicious: Who are you and why are you here? Fsm, smiling: I'm your grandfather, and I'm your grandfather. Lloyd: You can't be my grandfather! You're like thirty! Fsm: I am not thirty, I'm a shapeshifter. Fsm, now vaguely concerned: You didn’t know that? Why didn’t you know that?

So, luckily, Fsm, by being themself, manages to almost completely allay Lloyd’s anxiety by getting up, telling Lloyd to follow him, and going to find both his children so they can smack them on the head because come on you two this is Morro all over again (Fsm can't really talk though, his godly domain should really be 'forgetting to tell people important information'). Because he can understand Morro not knowing that Fsm - and subsequently their descendants - isn’t human, but Lloyd is actually related!

Lloyd, meanwhile, is shocked. God, his grandfather, is in his house, looking all of thirty, and stalking through the monastery all while grumbling under his breath about his kids not telling Lloyd something, all while Lloyd trails behind him like a lost fawn.

It’s then Lloyd remembers his pyjamas and bed hair, and he just, internally cringes. Like, c'mon, this is the First Spinjitzu Master, and here he is looking like he just got out of bed (that he actually did just get out of bed is completely pointless in Lloyd’s mind). But something about this thought process must have shown in his face and body language (never mind that Lloyd is behind his grandfather), because suddenly the First Spinjitzu Master (man Lloyd really has to get his name) is turning around, stopping Lloyd in his tracks.

Fsm: Stop that. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I am 25,000 years old, and I have raised two children, I have seen a lot worse than bed hair.

That makes Lloyd blush, but his grandfather is already on the move again, seeking out his children.

Of course, once Fsm does find their children, Lloyd has the pleasure of finding out that his grandfather his half oni, half dragon (“dragoni”, his father says, “easier on the tongue”).

But once Lloyd processes that he’s not fully human (and, like in the show, he’s pretty calm about because it makes a lot of sense when he actually thinks about) he starts to bond with his grandpa and damn the First Spinjitzu Master is not anything like he expected him to be, but honestly, Lloyd is actually kinda relieved about that. He’s a lot more approachable than Lloyd expected, and it seems he’s where Wu and Garmadon got the more, um, eccentric sides of their personalities. Lloyd is still a bit nervous around him, but that slowly goes away over the few weeks that Fsm is staying for.

Throughout those weeks, Lloyd kinda starts to get comfortable around Fsm. Lloyd shows Fsm a bunch of video games (I've decided this includes Minecraft because, listen, Fsm would be great at Minecraft (specifically creative mode) and you can't tell me otherwise), as well as board games, which leads to the interesting revelation that Mystake (Mystake?! Who runs the tea shop?!) banned Fsm from playing uno a few months after it come out because he tackled someone after he had to pick up 16 cards.

Hope you enjoyed!

But yeah I’ll probably do a separate post for the family bonding.

Also I feel like I need to give fsm a proper name at this point. I’ve been calling them imaragami (ih-ma-rah-gar-mi) since I started thing this whole idea up but tbh it’s just a bunch of random syllables put together (I’m kinda attached to it at this point tho). But anyway what do you think?

#lmao lloyds gonna have a fun time #bc fsm drops information like a dad (they are but ) #that is to say he doesn't tell you anything #and then hell drop the most insane piece of imformation #and then never bring it up again #fsm lives au #ninjago fsm #fsm ninjago #the first spinjitzu master #ninjago morro #ninjago lloyd #ninjago #lego ninjago

[captainmalewriter]

And now, please enjoy the third installment of me recounting about the men I've possessed:

Adam (aka Moltres)

Whew! It's been a long while since I last made one of these hasn't it. Maybe like 7 months or more by now? I don't know, I can't remember anymore. But anyways...

I had spent a few months being a homebody with my last body Shawn. I had a blast lazing around while being the beefy, hairy, and handsome Shawn, but my next body prospect was calling. No seriously, I had downloaded a dating app just for the fuck of it when this hottie Adam hit my line. He thought I was pretty cute with my then current body and wanted to meet up. I would have to be a fool to turn down a twunk nerd like him!

I invited him over to my place and let me tell you, the pictures of this guy's hairy pits don't do them justice! We were supposed to hook up but instead we ended up with me worshipping him musky pits while he rubbed one out. I still remember how it felt to have his manly aroma fill up my nose as I nuzzled my face into his pits.

It was during the worship session that I transferred my soul into his body. I took full control of him as he shot his load and urgh it was wonderful! What I didn't account for was that my soul had taken on Shawn's bulky size and when I possessed Adam, all that body mass had to go somewhere. I accidentally turned a lean twunk into a husky pup but hey, as long these hairy pits are all mine, I'm not complaining!!

Edwin (aka Namor)

Similar to one of my previous bodies, my next body was a gift. You can read the full tale here but I'll give a little summary of how I got my next body here.

It all started when I decided to revisit one of my old bodies for a little leisure time. But despite the change in vessel, I was still bored! That was when a strange client asking to takeover Shawn's body offered an all expense paid vacation as an exchange. How could I say no to an offer like that!?

Long story short- that client turned out to be a bit of a dangerous character. He had managed to figure out how to wield magical powers and he tried to brainwash me to unlock his full potential! Thankfully, his enchanted book summoned a pair of magic green shorts to save the day. Those green shorts forced themselves onto me while I slept, simultaneously transforming and pleasuring my body during the process! While I was busy moaning and writhing in orgasmic ecstasy, I was being transformed into a cosplayer's recreation of Namor!

Sure, Edwin might not be the iteration of Namor everyone knows, but I don't care. I was a buff, hairy in all the right places, magical being endowed with the same level of power (and I was hung like a seahorse). Becoming an avatar of the king and god of the Talokan people without any of the responsibility meant I was free to just float around the world's oceans at my leisure. I was living the life underwater, so peaceful and serene...

Jesús

In all honesty, as much as I loved being Namor, I might've overstayed my welcome living as the king of the sea. It was once again time to look for a new body.

I swam along the sea currents to visit several beaches throughout the world. I had searched high and low for a new body when finally, in some random beach in California, I had stumbled upon the perfect body. He was with a bunch of other guys, probably on a beach trip with his bros.

I waited until he got in the water to strike like a sea snake. As he swam around, I pulled out my dick and started jerking. After a minute or two of stroking, I shot my load out while still fully underwater. Then, using my magic, I transformed my cum to take on the form of white fish. I then endowed the white fish with my soul, and commanded them to swim to my target. I took off the green shorts as the fish did their work, undoing my Namor transformation. I lost consciousness momentarily, but thankfully it didn't take long for my soul to find its next vessel.

The white fish swam around my next body in circles. He was so amused to see the fish swim around, completely oblivious to what was about to happen next. A fish slammed into his naval, causing him to open up his mouth from the impact. With an entrance available, my cum fish started swimming straight into his mouth. His cheeks and chest puffed out as my soul fish entered his mouth one after another; the taste of cum flowing down his throat and the stimulation from full body takeover making him hard. Once he slurped up the last fish, my soul had filled his body, and I was now in full control. Another possession success!

Originally, I had intended to just laze around with my new body too. You can probably imagine my surprise when I found out that Jesús here was a pro soccer player AND he was currently competing in the Copa de Oro! I was annoyed, but whatever, I could probably benefit from the exercise anyway. Don't want to lose my magical capacity after all! So just know, the next time you watch a soccer game, you might see your favorite Captain possessing a certain Columbian American soccer player out on the field. Now then, if you'll excuse me, besides writing stories and playing soccer, I've got some "bro time" in the locker room with my DL teammates to look forward to... ;)

And that's the story of how I came to possess my latest three bodies! I'll update this running series of who the current Captain is once I go through another three bodies, whenever that happens. Until then, coming up next will be the toy capsule short stories! Stay tuned, and stay sexy. -Captain M.W.

#captains #male body #captains bodies series #short stories #posession #male possession

[wonjinburger]

writing prompt #04

bumping into each other as solo travelers ; park sunghoon

태양보다 찬란한 . . . 그게 바로 나

INFO : : park sunghoon x reader / romcom

wc : <1600

notes : this was lowkey rushed bcs i had an idea at 12am but i had to go sleep but i couldn't risk losing the idea

20 JANUARY 2023 : :

2:04 - it's currently 2am and i've just landed in paris, and i'm now heading to my hotel room to take a long ass nap.

13:12 - jk the nap lasted from around 11 hours. now it's 1pm and i'm going to go out for lunch. i've heard a lot of good word about a specific cafe so i'm gonna go try it out!

13:37 - the weirdest things just happened what the fuck? i bumped into this guy, who was really hot btw, by accident. obviously i apologized for it like a normal person but he just scoffed at me and left?? thanks for that random stranger.

23 JANUARY 2023 : :

12:02 - i just had a quick snack and i'm currently on the train to versailles, i wanted to have a quick look at all the beautiful architecture. i find versailles to be such a romantic and beautiful place lol

12:28 - i've arrived at versailles! i have a tour booked for today at 1pm, so i guess i'll walk around versailles for now.

13:13 - no fucking way, the guy i bumped into a few days ago is here too, like, in the same tour group as me. i said hi and he basically looked at me weird and left me standing. thank god idk this guy and i'll never see him again, he seems like an ass.

14 APRIL 2023 : :

10:16 - hi journal, today i'm in the netherlands, i heard about the keukenhof tulip garden and of course i had to come here. i just had breakfast at the hotel i'm staying in and i'm about to head out to the garden to see all the pretty flowers!

11:11 - THE GARDEN IS SO PRETTY OMG BUT THAT EXPERIENCE WAS LOWKEY RUINED. by who you may ask? by FUCKING FRANCE DUDE?? WHY IS HE EVERYWHERE???? like i was taking photos of the pretty flowers and boom, suddenly i see him through the lens of my camera, please get this guy out of my life

11 MAY 2023 : :

00:01 - i have finally done one of the things off my bucket list, and that is to visit switzerland! i always saw tiktoks and photos of the amazing view and obviously i had to come see for myself, but it's 12am rn and i am really tired so i'm gonna go sleep, then i'll explore in the morning

11:42 - okay i woke up a few minutes ago which is quite late, but i'm gonna go down to the hotel's cafeteria and have some brunch before i explore the town

4:51 - hi this isn't funny anymore, i literally just set foot into an eatery near one of the places i was visiting and i see france dude, AGAIN. can he just get out of my life atp please, i'm so sick of seeing his annoying (but ig good-looking) face. AND WHY IS THE ONLY AVAILABLE SEAT LIKE NEXT TO HIS TABLE???

-- (☆)

i'm going back home to korea today, i think i've been travelling way too much, so i'm going to go home and rest up and spend time with my family and some friends.

i boarded the plane and by that point it was 11pm and i was honestly drained. i spent a whole day exploring the more nature-y side of switzerland and the view definitely did not disappoint.

i sat myself down in my assigned seat and was so ready to fall asleep at this point. a guy walked over and sat next to me, and i bet you won't be able to figure out who was gonna be my plane seatmate for almost 12 hours. yeah it was france guy. he seemed pretty surprised to see me too i think.

after he sat himself down next to me, he looked at me, maybe i was staring too hard.. "hey" i looked at him, question marks practically all over my forehead. "can you stop staring at me" i scoffed at him, this guy is ridiculous!

the plane took off a few minutes later and i was starting to doze off, and unfortunately for me i left my neck pillow in my luggage by accident, so my head was dropping left and right.

i suddenly woke up and it felt like i was lying against something? i sat upright to see what i had been sleeping on, and it was france dude? he woke up when he felt me getting up. "you're finally up, my shoulder feels like it's about to dislocate"

'okay sorry for accidentally sleeping on your shoulder but like, rude much'

"oh shit, i'm so sorry. i left my neck pillow in my luggage and i think i just passed out suddenly" he scoffed and i was so close to losing my shit not gonna lie. but the next moment, he handed me his neck pillow and i looked at him while holding the neck pillow. "just use it, i'd rather you use my stuff than you use me" damn okay stranger. "oh, thanks?" and soon he attempted to go back to sleep.

it was currently 8:59am, which meant we still had probably less than 2 hours left of this plane ride, and i was thanking heavens because 12 hours next to this guy would've been hell if i weren't fast asleep.

france guy was moving around in his seat and i assumed he couldn't fall back asleep. i tapped on his shoulders a little to get his attention "hey, you can have your neck pillow back, seems like you can't sleep, and i'm pretty energized right now" he looked at me and sighed "it's fine, i'll just give up on going back to sleep".

after that it was pure silence. and i couldn't stand it so of course i had to open my big ass mouth.

"so.. you travel a lot?" he nodded his gaze fixed on his phone. "alone?" he nodded again still focusing on his screen. damn talking to this guy is so hard. let's bring up the past! "you remember the first time we met?" he finally looked at me. "we've met?" are you fucking serious right now.

"i bumped into you on accident in paris back in january?" he thought about it for a second before replying. "oh! i remember now, you bumped into me and almost spilt your hot coffee all over me" "hey! it almost spilt on me too okay, and i apologized for it" he shrugged it off and went back on his phone.

"you know, i kept seeing you around while i was travelling and at some point i thought you were stalking me" he looked back at me again, his eyebrows furrowed this time. "what the fuck why would i stalk you, i don't even know you?" "it happens sometimes" "hey, for all i know you could be the one stalking me right now" i was taken aback, speechless, i can't handle this guy oh my god.

"you know, your looks and personality clash a lot" he gave me a look that said 'wtf do you mean'. "you're a good-looking guy, like, i'd definitely date you if your personality was nicer" he stared at me for a while and chuckled a little. "for your information i have a great personality" "it sure doesn't seem that way" he scoffed and put his phone down before looking me in the eyes.

"i'm nice to people i'm close to, last i checked, we don't even know each other." "maybe we can change that" he looked shocked by what i said. honestly i'm shocked too, but i mean, he's pretty hot, it would be a wasted chance.

"you want us to get close?" i nodded. "you're ridiculous lady" i rested my head in the palm of my hands as i kept eye contact with him "it's y/n, lee y/n. and you are?" he looked at me in disbelief for a while. "i can't believe this is happening." he let out a deep and heavy sigh before introducing himself. "i'm park sunghoon."

"nice to meet you sunghoon. oh, i was gonna ask if you were korean, but your name just confirmed it for me" "are you heading home right now?" i nodded to his question. "homesick?" he asked, and i nodded. it seemed like he was feeling homesick too. "maybe we should hangout sometime while we're in korea" i blurted out suddenly, to my surprise he didn't oppose of this idea.

i then pushed my phone towards him, "can i have your number then?" he looked at my phone, then at me. "are you hitting on me?" i don't know, was i? i mean, i am interested in him, so i guess? "yeah i am, so what do you say, can i have your number? and maybe we can go out sometime and maybe even travel together?" he stared at me in shock, but his reply lowkey shocked me too.

"sure, let's go on a date soon"

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen hurt/comfort #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon #park sunghoon #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon scenarios #sunghoon x reader #wonjinburger writes

[bts-story]

LOVE IS CHAOS

Previous chapters

Chapter 11 - Trouble

The rumors about Niragi's crime had spread very quickly in the night around The Beach. All the players who lived in the hotel had heard about this newcomer who had killed a militant in order to steal his gun. The Hatter did not find the need to reprimand him, but a visit from Aguni was necessary the next day, when the sun was not yet up. 

Several knocks came on the door of the room you had chosen. It was a large and luxurious room, with a king-size bed and an equally impressive bathroom. It was a room you could never afford in the real world, so Niragi had insisted on enjoying it and appreciating the value of this inaccessibility. 

The door opened with a bang, after all, all the keys to the rooms had been stuck inside the locks to avoid a troop withdrawal, or any other secrecy, for that matter. 

You were entwined in Niragi's arms, bare chest pressed against the softness of the mattress. The sheet had gotten tangled between your legs and was falling right down your back. Niragi was also naked, one arm draped over his chest while his cock rested proudly along his thigh. 

You both were startled by the stranger's invasion into the room, and you tried as best you could to quickly hide your body with the sheet. Eyes still glued shut, it took a little while to figure out what was going on. 

"What the fuck do you want?" Niragi spat as he turned on the light on the bedside table, unconcerned about hiding (he had always been proud of his parts, and very unprudent, even in front of men who might have stared at him). 

Aguni stood at the foot of the bed, hands in his pockets and chins up, a defiant look in his eyes. He didn't care about you, at that moment he was only looking at Niragi and if he himself was that stupid, he would grab his machine gun and point it at the intruder. Fortunately, none of that happened. 

"Can you explain to me why one of my guys has a belly full of bullets, in the hallway?" Aguni asked nonchalantly. There was something strange about him that bothered you, it was confusing to face someone who was so imposing with so little interest in anything. 

Well, maybe not, if he was trying to understand why Niragi had killed one of his own. 

Niragi sighed, blinking to try to erase the sleep. He chuckled stupidly and lay back down, twirling the sheet over his thighs. "Get the fuck outta my room." 

But Aguni wouldn't be satisfied with that. He walked over to the bed, and kicked Niragi's legs, who suddenly opened his eyes again, a murderous look on his face. You were still on the other side of the bed, sheet pulled up and tight to your chest as you stood mute before the scene. 

He didn't scare you any more than that, but he seemed to want answers and you couldn't really blame him. One of his men had been killed, and he was looking for someone to blame. It was understandable.

"I'm only going to tell you this once, so listen carefully," Aguni resumed in his threatening voice, "It takes more than that to become an executive member of The Beach, it's not for everyone. I'll let it slide, just this once. But the next time something like this happens again, you'll answer to me." 

It was an act of charity to let Niragi off the hook like that, but for now, you'd take anything. Aguni didn't even give you a glance, nothing at all as he headed for the exit. He slammed the door with a thud, and finally your tense body seemed to relax. 

You didn't even notice your fingers gripping the sheet intently, and Niragi grunted widely as he turned off the light. "Who the fuck does he think he is?" 

Niragi buried his head in his pillow again, and without waiting for an answer, he seemed to want to get back to sleep. "For a number two, I guess." You commented quietly and Niragi didn't really respond, aside from an almost imperceptible shrug. 

That, that sort of thing, was obviously one of Niragi's weak points. He often thought he was so far above everyone else that he forgot that some people had the same attitude as him. A war of egos had no place here, and you wouldn't be the one to take sides in this chaos. 

You knew that Niragi would attract problems, it was always stronger than he was. He always had a tendency to insult the cops who would have arrested him, thinking he had stolen a bottle of liquor from the store; he always had the obligation to throw middle fingers at the first person who honked at him in the car. Niragi was that kind of person, to puff up his chest at the sight of anything that bothered him and often followed by well-chosen words to make his target feel like a nobody. 

But he was too naive to understand that this world was much more dangerous than he thought. 

You turned on the light which burst on the walls again, reflecting the white color of the bulb. Niragi grunted a second time and turned around with a question written all over his face. "Go back to bed," he ordered before slumping back against the pillow. He encircled the pillow with his hands, pumping the muscles in his back. This was usually the kind of sight that made you bite your lip, a definite thought in the back of your mind. 

But now something else was bothering you. "I told you you were going to get us in trouble, we're in Aguni's bullseye with your stupid shit!" 

If there was one person in the world who could talk to Niragi like that it was you. The only person who could stand up to him and make him see the truth in his own eyes without the risk of getting a fist in the face. It was a heavy burden to bear at times, but even Niragi wasn't perfect. Sometimes he was wrong, sometimes he made bad choices. 

"What are you talking about? It's fine." 

"Fine? No, it's far from fine, actually," you exclaimed incredulously and now fully awake. "Niragi, baby, fuck... We should be keeping a low profile, not having fun shooting the first one that comes along. If we're going to get out of here, we need to do it smart." You were starting to get a little angry, all this drama was making your blood boil. After all, you felt that calling attention to yourself was not the best way to gain respect.

If you had to prove your loyalty, this was not how you would have hoped to do it at all. "Be careful, sweetheart, you're standing dangerously close to the fire." Niragi had warned in a deep voice, his eyes closed despite the threat that had just come out of his mouth. 

He didn't want you to forget that despite your relationship, it didn't leave you the opportunity to talk to him any old way. Respect was something that Niragi cherished strongly, and he never missed an opportunity to remind you of it. Even if you hadn't said those exact words, implying that what he was doing wasn't smart annoyed him to no end. 

Far be it from you to diminish him, but you had to make him understand that he shouldn't do it again. What was done, was done, you couldn't go back. But if you could avoid another lapse, then you'd do anything to protect yourself from it. "We have three days left before our visa expires," you clarified, ignoring her warnings, still being careful how you said things. "We're going to have to get them a card back tonight." 

"Yeah, okay, can we go back to sleep now?" Niragi was far too unconcerned for your liking, and as he turned around once more to protect himself from the light that was dazzling him too much, he threw the sheet back over his legs. He hoped that this time he'd get to the bottom of it and force you to go back to bed and catch a few more hours of sleep. 

Unfortunately, you were far too awake to go back to sleep, and the idea of trouble coming after you was too much on your mind to hope to move on. Niragi's breath was getting heavy, and you suspected that he had already gone back to sleep. It was good of him to be able to go back to sleep so easily, without any embarrassment in the world. 

Discreetly, you tried to extricate yourself from the bed without making the mattress creak, and picking up your clothes that were dragging on the floor from Niragi who had torn them from your body last night. Your legs were still a bit sore, but without a word, you put on the clothes to cover your body. 

You didn't want to walk around in a bathing suit here, but for now, you took advantage of the fact that a pair of shorts and a crop top were enough to be left alone. You picked up your shoes, stained with the blood of one of the victims of your first game, and put them on once you left the hotel room and turned off the light. The door closed with a small click that wouldn't wake up Niragi. 

The body of Niragi's victim had disappeared from the hallway, but the dried blood on the carpet was still clearly visible. Ignoring this chilling sight, you made your way to the elevator. 

Few people were already awake, and very few had not yet gone to bed. The hotel corridors were deserted, and it was rare to see anyone. 

As soon as you found yourself outside again, on the patio of the terrace that led to the pool, a light breeze came crashing down on your face and you wished you were more covered up than that. There were still a few players having fun, the sound of the music much lower than during the evening. 

Two young boys were passed out on the cushions of a bench a little further away, a man was lounging on a buoy in the pool, a half-drunk glass of alcohol in his hands. Two girls were still dancing to the music, their movements somewhat blurred and disoriented. 

You sat on the steps of the terrace, wrapping your hands around your arms to try to regain some of the heat. It was a nice place to catch a glimpse of the sunrise, which started to bathe the sky in an orange color. The yellow ball had not yet appeared across the horizon, but it was only a matter of seconds now. 

"You're up bright and early," a voice interrupted your thoughts as you were just beginning to appreciate the beauty of the landscape, which was the same as at home in the real world. 

Chishiya came over and sat down beside you on the steps. He held out a cup towards you that was smoking, and you could feel the smell of coffee tickling your nostrils. 

"Coffee?" He offered kindly, and you couldn't refuse such an invitation. 

"Shit, where did you get that? I must have scoured the city and never found any!" You exclaimed excitedly, taking the cup in your hands. The cup was warm, and you brought it to the edge of your lips before finally resting it in your lap, eyeing the black liquid suspiciously. 

With a small laugh of amusement, Chishiya justified himself, "It's only coffee, don't get carried away." He didn't really explain how it was that there was coffee at The Beach, but you now suspected that a supply crew was surely the cause of the citywide shortage. "Two sugars, if I remember correctly... Is that it?" 

He pretended to be doubtful, but he seemed to remember very well how you liked your coffee. This caused your stomach to tense in a slight way that abruptly bothered you. "Thank you," you mumbled before letting the scalding coffee run down your throat. The taste of caffeine on your tongue would have been enough to make you lose your mind. It was a real problem to be so addicted to coffee. 

A small silence followed as the laughter of the two dancing girls echoed around you. One of them jumped into the water, catching the man on the buoy to play with him. She splashed him, he laughed. 

You were not so much bothered by Chishiya's coming, but you preferred to be alone with your thoughts, just to think about what to do. Of course, you had to keep an eye on Niragi who was slowly starting to fall into a spiral that would swallow him alive if he wasn't more careful. And you, you had to take the responsibility of being the new doctor of the Beach because as the Hatter had said, there didn't seem to be any in this world. 

Besides, it made you think that... "I hear you don't have a doctor?" You asked calmly, hoping that Chishiya would be open for this conversation.

"We have one now, right?" It wasn't the answer you were expecting, but you had to be content with it. Your eyes crinkled as you stared at Chishiya, who only offered you a steady gaze in response. 

He was indeed implying that you would take this role, as if you didn't really have a choice after all. 

"The last doctor we had was killed in a game of spades about twenty days ago," he explained calmly, turning his attention back to the landscape that was finally discovering the sun's bright rays. 

You didn't need the details, although you would have liked to know a little more about the game that had taken his life. The more you learned about each arena, the more you thought you could survive it. 

"I see," you didn't care who this person was though, as long as your place here was secure. Being the new medic of The Beach didn't seem like such a bad role, after all, and even with little experience in this world, you knew you wouldn't be bored. The wounded were surely frequent. 

Again, a few minutes passed before one of you spoke again. The air had turned into something so awkward that you hardly dared to make a sound. It was so strange to see Chishiya in this world, to see him again after all these years. The memories you shared with him were jostling so hard in your brain that it was starting to give you a headache. 

He hadn't changed much physically, except for his hair which had grown a little bit more. It was so long now that he could tie it back in a ponytail if he wanted to. Mentally, he still seemed to have that detached air that made anyone think he didn't care about anything, that little interested him behind his arrogant face. 

"How long have you been here?" You asked to make conversation, that he didn't think you wanted to end your exchange. The case was there, but he didn't need to know that. 

"At The Beach, or in the Borderland?" He asked in a curious tone. 

"I don't know, both?" 

He thought for a second. "I arrived in the Borderland about thirty days ago. I found The Beach quickly, and the Hatter's offer was quite attractive so, I joined his cause." He explained simply, and even though you could feel his gaze out of the corner of your eye, you kept your eyes fixed on the sunrise, thousands and thousands of miles away. 

You took another sip of coffee. The birds began to rise as well, as the sky began to brighten. It was getting less cold now, but you weren't sure if it was the hot cup between your fingers, or the sun's rays crashing down on your figure. 

"What was your first game?" You asked again.

"The ace of diamonds," Chishiya spoke casually, far from being bothered by all your questions. At least, from what you were thinking. "Pretty simple game for a first timer, I got lucky." 

He didn't say what it was, or how he'd managed to survive, but you sensed he was deliberately leaving it in doubt. That was his thing, acting mysteriously as if you would finally beg him for answers to your questions. 

No, far from it. He probably forgot how casual you could be too. Or maybe you'd become that way with Niragi in the last few years. It didn't matter. 

"What kind of game was that?" Still, you wanted to know how far he would go, how far he would be willing to give you answers. You distrusted him like the darn plague, after all, you knew him well enough to know the selfishness and narcissism he displayed. 

"Little riddles," he clarified, but nothing more. Except, "Are you really interested in what I've done so far, or is this just an interrogation?" 

You smiled. He had broken through your offense. It wasn't exactly a well-hidden attack, but it sure seemed like he remembered your style very well. "Don't get me wrong, it was just to make conversation."

He smiled as well. A bird was flying high in the sky, feathers spread wide with each flap of its wings. The two players in the pool had come out a few minutes ago and trained inside the hotel, surely to find the warmth of their bed. There was still those boys who had fallen asleep on the benches, and the other dancing girl had poured herself a last drink before looking for her room in turn. 

"Looks like your boyfriend is making trouble," Chishiya commented with a detached air, as if to change the subject. There was no judgment in his voice, but you could very clearly hear the sound of denunciation floating in the air. 

You closed your eyes for a small second, "It's not what it looks like," you'd try to smooth it over, make it look like an accident, maybe. 

Chishiya was one of the execs at The Beach, and if you could get him in your pocket to avoid your exclusion so quickly, then you had to find every way to brush him off. Playing the hypocrite was part of that. 

After all, despite all the feelings that were stirring in your heart at the sound of his voice, you had to put the affect aside and focus on what was in front of you. That is, survival above all. 

"Niragi is..." you thought carefully about your words. You would never be the one to discredit Niragi here, you would never talk about his quiet moments where simply the sound of the waves crashing against the sand would be enough to calm him down. You would never talk about how, between four walls, well protected from prying ears and insistent looks, he knew how to appreciate the feeling of your skin against his with two or three kisses as delicate as a summer morning. 

No, no. It was a secret you would take to your own grave, whether your loss was the consequence, it did not matter. Niragi had spent so much time rebuilding himself and understanding that he wasn't just a victim of this world and that he had the power to fight, too; that you would never dare destroy his house of cards just for the sake of showing off your knowledge.

"...Niragi is not what you think." It wasn't an explanation per se, but it was enough to make Chishiya doubt. 

"And what do I think?" Chishiya asked, eyebrows raised and his voice slightly surprised. 

"You think he's a bully, don't you? That he terrorizes those weaker than him for the fun of it, and that he takes a liking to their frightened looks." You would never admit that it was just a shell, just a veil that hid the personality you had fallen in love with long ago. "We're all trying to survive here. Each in our own way." 

That, however, you would admit. You'd admit that maybe it wasn't the best way, but that at least there was such a willingness to get the hell out of here and get back to the life you left behind in the real Tokyo, that maybe it was excusable. Maybe. 

Chishiya nodded, as if he thought what you said made sense. "I don't think he likes me much," he tried to joke with a smile, but it wasn't enough for you to do the same. 

"Yeah, he doesn't know much about dealing with people..."  You knew it was much easier for Niragi to threaten people and take them down, than to play on small talk and make friends. "Don't take it personally. He doesn't like many people." 

Maybe in another life he would have succeeded. 

Chishiya added nothing more and remained silent. The sun was quite distinct on the horizon now, and the orange sky was giving way more and more to the cloudless blue that would herald yet another warm day. 

"I'm going to get some breakfast, would you like to join me?" Chishiya offered gently as he looked away from the horizon to try to catch your eyes. But when he found them, he was disappointed to find that he surely would not have the pleasure of enjoying your company any longer. 

"I'm not very hungry, but thanks. Maybe later," and that wasn't entirely a lie. It was true that you should enjoy the food at The Beach, which surely had to offer a whole buffet that you had been dreaming of since you had first set foot on this land, but all that stuff with Niragi that had happened in such a short time had spoiled your appetite.

"The lunch room is on the right side of the stairs, in the lobby. Everything is very well explained, let the signs guide you when hunger strikes again," Chishiya explained and he stood up with a last smile and finally left. The sound of his footsteps behind you echoed very shortly before you found yourself alone again. 

There was only the sleeping boys on the benches who were keeping you company, but considering their condition, you wouldn't have had much conversation from them. It was not a bad thing, because you wanted to enjoy the last drops of your coffee in peace. No talking, no excuses, no nothing. 

Just you, and the landscape.

But there was this little sensation on your shoulders, tingling your skin. It wasn't the wind, or any insect that had landed without permission, but as you searched for the cause of this effect, your gaze met the two black eyes of Niragi, leaning on the railing of the fourth floor balcony. Smoke was coming out of the stoned cigarette in his hand, his naked body clad only in boxers. 

The sun's rays were also crashing down on his face as he took a puff of nicotine into his lungs. His gaze was so insistent that you wondered how long he had been there. Maybe he had never gone back to sleep, and he had seen everything about your conversation with Chishiya. 

Even from too far away to hear anything, just the sight of a man sitting so close to you could give him a good reason to set the world on fire. 

He wouldn't let go of your eyes, a real threat in the middle of his irises. Jaw clenched, muscles tensed, you knew you were in trouble. 

Damn it. This was definitely not the time to piss him off. 

You felt like you were walking on eggshells all day. As time went on, you feared that Niragi's wrath would descend upon you at any moment. He had already built up a reputation, and now whispers could be heard after every step he took, looks suddenly changed to something fearful, and most importantly, Niragi was now strutting around with his brand new machine gun on his shoulder. 

Not only did it give him a funny look, like a mobster straight out of a Hollywood movie, but also, he had this arrogance that was unequal to him, which seemed to have completely changed sides for an absolutely glorious insolence. He was having far too much fun playing with his authority, that you still didn't quite see the point of his maneuver. 

He had already insulted too many people by mid-day, that it was a miracle that Aguni had not yet returned to reprimand him. And you avoided him like the plague. 

You knew that the moment Niragi got his hands on you, you would owe him an explanation for that little talk with Chishiya. There was nothing wrong and nothing really interesting about it, but Niragi had a nasty habit of doubting your good faith if he decided there was something to blame. 

"Do you want to explain to me what that asshole had to say to you, sweetheart?" He only called you that when he was pissed off, or when the tension in his body started to rise dangerously. 

He had you pinned between the wall of your room and his muscular torso, machine gun in hand and eyes as black as night. You'd done a pretty good job of avoiding him most of the day, or he'd given you enough of a break to run through in his head all the punishments he could try on you if he didn't like the answer. 

His voice was low, as weak as the warning he carried in his eyes. His body was pressed so hard against yours that you could only sink into the wall, no escape possible. His breath crashed against your mouth, your own breath worried and stuck in the back of your throat. "Am I not allowed to talk with a friend?"

"A friend?" He repeated as he raised his eyebrows, bringing his left hand up to caress your cheek with the back of his hand. It was such a gentle gesture that it contrasted with the way he was looking at you. He hooked his fingers together at the back of your neck, his thumb gently rubbing your jaw. Then he grabbed the back of your hair hard, so hard that you couldn't hold back the moan of pain from your mouth. "You didn't tell me that Chishiya was a friend..." 

No, you didn't. He wasn't really. But if Niragi found out what Chishiya really meant to you, you knew that the blond would end up with a bullet between the eyes very quickly. 

You opened your mouth to justify yourself again, but the pressure on your neck was so strong that it took your breath away. Bumping his forehead lightly against yours, Niragi closed his eyes for a second before pulling back, murmuring softly in his husky voice, "I'm really trying to get us out of here. You and me. But if you make it hard for me, we're going to have a problem..." 

This wasn't the first time Niragi played on words to make you understand that he wasn't happy, and that a scolding would surely await you if you didn't do as he wanted. 

He finally let go of his weapon and it crashed to the ground with a thud, and with his right hand he put pressure on your hips so that you could feel the force with which he could punish you if you didn't listen to his warnings. 

"I know who you are, Niragi..." It was very dangerous to answer him, let alone say those few words. But you didn't care about his threats that could terrorize the world but your own. "And I know where you're coming from," he put more intense pressure on the back of your neck and you looked straight into his eyes. "You can have fun scaring whoever you want here, but it won't work with me." 

The very insinuation of his past life, the one he had spent years forgetting and burying, was enough to cause a pain in his heart that made his head spin. There was a lot going on in his head now, and the only thing you could see in his eyes was anger. Anger at being reminded of the horror and shame he suffered night and day about the person he once was. 

He was so far away from that now, so far away from all that pain that he couldn't imagine that the only person who could remind him of that was you. It was like a betrayal in his eyes, like a call to hatred that would slowly take place inside him. Because yes, he hated who he used to be, he hated the person he had been for too many years. 

Suddenly, the fingers around your neck loosened to painfully encircle your throat. Niragi crushed his fingers so hard on your skin that the air was now really hard to breathe. The pressure on your throat even seemed to cut off the circulation of your blood, so much so that you could feel the difficulty in concentrating within seconds. 

"Well maybe I should make you afraid of me too then, mmh?" Niragi growled through his teeth, and you felt like he was tightening his grip with every word he spoke. 

It was now so hard to breathe that you couldn't hear what else he was saying, if he even said anything at all. Instinctively, your hands grabbed his, trying valiantly to free yourself from his grip. But he had too much strength, and you were losing yours with each passing second. 

You couldn't conceive of the idea that Niragi was actually strangling you, which had nothing to do with the moments spent under the covers while he was thrusting deep inside of you. No, this was much more intense and ferocious than that. 

You were slowly losing consciousness, silently screaming, searching for your breath.

And when he finally released the pressure around your neck, the air finally flowing into your lungs was so painful that it was hard to regain a sense of sanity. You slumped to the floor, hands and knees scraping against the hard surface of the bedroom carpet. The oxygen was returning to your body and your blurred vision was beginning to find its focus again. No matter where Niragi was, you couldn't see anything but the black spots that still stained your eyes. 

You coughed, once, twice, three times. Air, finally. 

"No one tells me what to do," Niragi's voice echoed in your ears, like a distant sound that was very difficult to hear. Before your eyes, you could see his boots coming closer, and as he knelt in front of you, he took a handful of your hair in his hand, which he squeezed again. You couldn't feel the pain it caused, but it was enough to force you to look him in the eye. "Not even you."

He ran the tip of his tongue over his lips, the shine of his piercing glinting from the light of the day. 

Niragi planted a kiss on your forehead, a gesture so delicate that you almost expected to feel pain that didn't come. "Did I make myself clear?" 

It took you a second to understand what he was saying. The pain in your lungs was still there, and the fervor with which he was gripping your hair was giving you a headache. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen, though. 

Not a sound could come out of your mouth, and not one of your muscles could fire up. Suddenly, you didn't even know what your first name was, so much so that Niragi's insistent gaze caused your stomach to twist. 

For the first time in your life, Niragi was looking at you with something new in his eyes. Something that gave you chills and made your fingertips tremble. 

Quickly, you nodded your head up and down, praying you wouldn't keep him waiting any longer. "Good," he muttered, letting go of your hair again. 

Niragi walked away, just like that, without another word, without another gesture. He picked up his machine gun and left you there, slumped on the ground, bruised and scared. It was a strange feeling to see him in that state, with those eyes that were normally reserved for the world but you. 

This world was consuming Niragi. Or releasing a fairground beast that only had room between bars.

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I'm really really trying to speed this up but I have so little time to write :(

I hope you guys are still there, please don't leave me !!

Anyways, see you soon <3

Nageoire

#niragi suguru #niragi #niragi aib #aib niragi suguru #Niragi x reader #niragi x you #niragi x y/n #alice in borderland #alice in borderland niragi #dori sakurada #niragi imagine #aib niragi #love is chaos

[randomperson1me]

Hi I was wondering if you could do an Eddie Munson x Fem!reader where their in the reader ends up being one of the victims for vecnas curse and Eddie is trying to save her but it can either end up with it being a fail or him actually saving her but you can choose. If you can't do this, I understand. I just wanted to ask.

Don't leave me! Eddie munson x reader

Tw:mention of family member death, car crash.

Note: I have a diego hargreeves request in the works :) gif not mine

If yall want to see a version of where the reader doesn't survive, let me know 👀)

Y/N had been dating Eddie for a few months now, they met in middle school and loved each other so much. She almost graduated without him, if it wasn't for the Loss of her mother. It took a toll on Y/N, she didn't go to school, and rarely took care of herself. She blamed herself for it. She wished she had walked her mother to the shop, even though the woman insisted she shouldn't since she'd be late for DND.

Eddie knew she blamed herself. He tried telling her every day that she didn't need to. That it wasn't her fault. But vecna convinced her otherwise. She had been getting nosebleeds and headaches for the past day. She hid them from the others though. She blamed her illusions on her spacing out. He couldn't get max, so he was trying to go for her next.

Eddie made her promise to tell her everything after Chrissy died. " I will, " She told him. Technically, she didn't say 'I promise '. That's how she saw it. She had gotten back to Eddie's trailer with the others, everyone calming down after being in the upside down and Nancy's scare. It was late and everyone was tired.

"You ok ?" Eddie asked Y/N as he wrapped an arm around her waist. She stood in his room, looking at all the tapes, the memories from photos. She wanted to see them again in case vecna got to her " yeah I'm good " Y/N smiled at him. She gently kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his torso. Eddie of course returned the hug, resting his chin on her head " are you sure? You seem a bit off lately " He asked her. He was worried for her. He didn't know if it was vecna or not but surely she'd tell them.

" I'm fine Eddie" She reassured him. They stayed like that for a few moments before she broke away from the hug hearing Dustin calling for them. She took his hand in his and walked out of the bedroom, heading out the trailer door behind the others. She felt a shiver going down her spine once she was outside. Not from the cold, but like someone was watching her.

She glanced behind and swore she saw her dad across the trailer park. She let go of Eddie's hand, causing him to stop walking. "What's wrong ?" He asked her, getting the other's attention. " I think I saw my dad, I'm gonna go see if I'm right," she told him. She began to walk away when he rushed after her "are you sure ?" He asked her. He didn't want to leave her, after what happened at his trailer he had become more clingy. " I'm sure. He's probably visiting a friend that lives near here. I know where Max's trailer is. I'll be fine " she reassured him, placing a hand on his cheek.

Eddie sighed quietly before kissing her hand, flashing a smile at her " alright then " He smiled. He kissed her head gently before turning around and walking after the others. Y/N turned around herself and jogged over to the figure who sure enough was her dad. "Dad!" She smiled happily as he turned around. He smiled brightly at her and held her gently in a hug once she was close enough.

"Whatcha doing out here ?" She asked him, closing her eyes in the hug. "Mourning " He responded, deadpanned. Y/N pulled away and looked at him " mourning mom out here?" She asked confused. " of course your unbothered by that. You probably don't care she died. You did let it happen after all " Her dad told her. She backed up with tears in her eyes. What- dad what the fuck?!" She yelled as she backed up.

Y/N noticed something out of the corner of her eye that made her heart drop. Vecna. She slowly backed up before she began sprinting towards the forest. Shit. Yet her actual body had stood still in the real world. Eddie glanced out the window in concern, she had been gone for quite a while now. His eyes winded in fear seeing her just standing there " no no no " He mumbled in horror. He ignored Dustins confused yells and sprinted outside.

OnceEddiee got close he began yelling out " Y/N? He,y what's wrong?" He asked. He had a horrible feeling he knew what was happening, he was just hoping he was wrong. Maybe she spaced out where she stood. He felt his heart drop once he walked around to face where she stood. His heart sunk seeing her eyes.

" no, no baby you can't leave me too. Don't do this, please. Come on you can fight him!" Eddie told her in a panic, hands cupping her face. He felt his heart beating fast. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked behind him, Dustin running over confused. "Dustin! Get a-ametallicaa tape and a tape player!" He yelled in tears. Dustin instantly knew why and ran back to the others, screaming for their help.

Eddie looked back at Y/N shaking her gently. "Babywakee up, please, wake up!" He told her as he shook her more. He was scared, he didn't want to lose her

Back in the other world, Y/N was running for her life into the woods, her heart dropping seeing everything turn red. What was this place? Why were their vines and a door? She let out a small scream feeling s vine wrap around her neck, pulling her back against a vine-covered pillar. "Y/N" Venca growled out as he approached her.

Sobs left Y/Ns throat as she watched him in fear as he was soon standing in front of her " your suffering, ends today " He told her. This was it. She'd never get to hear Eddie's voice again. She felt her body shake asvencaa reached out towards her. Suddenly, she heard a guitar, a familiar tune being played

Master of puppets

She looked to her left and saw a portal opening up. There she stood, headphones on, Eddie holding her close as her body tried to float up, his grip stopping her, their friends watching in worry. She had to get out. She looked back atvecnaa and glanced around for something. Then she noticed, her neck was the only thing being held down. Y/N used all her strength to send a kick to vecnas torso, knocking the wind out of him, and loosening the vines. She took it as an opportunity and began running.

She felt her heart racing as the song continued to play, Eddie's sobs mixed in, making her even more determined to reach him. She stumbled as things fell around her, but her eyes stayed focused on one thing only. Eddie.

She was just there, she reaches out towards the portal and-

Y/N took in a gasp of air feeling herself back in her body. Eddie pulled away slightly, a relieved sob escaping his throat as he gently holds her. He guides her to the ground and moves the headphones down around her shoulders, the song faintly still able to be heard. "It's ok, your here, I got you baby "He whispered to her as he rocked the two of them, the others sighing in relief.

Y/N held onto him as she shook in fear,  sobbing as her breath kept getting caught in her throat, her heart pounding in her ear. The others decided to back off for a few moments, giving the two room and space for Eddie to calm her down. They retreated to Max's trailer but stood outside so they could keep an eye on the two.

"Baby breathe, I've got you "Eddie reassured her, gently running his hand up and down her back. She listened to his words as she clung to the back of his denim jacket. "I'm sorry!" She repeated against sobs. She should have told him. "None of that now princess, I got you, " He told her gently, kissing the top of her head. They'd be alright. Eddie was going to make sure of it.

#eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #agnst #vecna stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine

[charminggirl512]

mouthy ma // chibs telford x oc

Chibs Telford x F!OC

Warnings: 18+, language, violence, pregnancy, mentions of sex

Word Count: 1,044

 One of the many perks of working for a company that's owned by my husband's motorcycle club is that he can visit me at work all the time while not really taking time off work during the day. However, there is a definite con; it is usually one of the many targets for their enemies. That's how I ended up where I am now, five months pregnant with our first child and being held at gunpoint on the floor of a porn production studio.

    While it's not my first time being held at gunpoint, it is definitely the first time I've ever been held at gunpoint while pregnant, and my body didn't seem to understand the danger we were in. Our baby boy was kicking my very full bladder and was about to force me to make an already very disgusting floor even grosser. 

"Where are they? Huh? Why aren't they fucking here?" It was always the same questions. You would think that they would get more original over time, but they never do. 

"Well, Juice is over there tied to the chair, so you know where one of them is. I don't normally keep running tabs of all of them, but I'll say that they're probably on their way." If I was genuinely scared, I probably wouldn't be so sassy with them, but I felt like the likelihood that they would hurt a pregnant woman was pretty low. They may be lawless, but they're usually not completely without morals. 

"Such a mouthy little bitch," One of them says as he crouches down next to my face. "I should really shut you up."

    I fight the urge to roll my eyes and just barely suppress it. If my timing was correct, Chibs and most of the guys were at the clubhouse when I hit speed dial on the office phone that went directly to Chibs' cell phone. When I didn't say anything on the phone, he probably heard the men entering Cara Cara and figured out what was going on. It usually takes them about ten minutes to get here, and it took these guys seven minutes to even figure out how to tie Juice up, so they should be here any second now. 

   Right on time, I hear the rumble of half a dozen motorcycles outside and watch as half of the invaders seem to get excited at the prospect of a fight and the other half recognize that they were about to get their asses kicked. Jax is the first to enter, his gun already drawn, and Chibs is close behind him. He automatically scans around, trying to find me, and his eyes burn with rage when he sees me laying on my side with a gun pointed at me. 

"Hi, babe. Will you get rid of them? Baby Telford is really doing a number on my bladder and I really don't want to watch Juice clean my piss off the floor." 

   He scowls at my casualness, but I know that he secretly loves that I can handle intense situations. He holds his eye contact with me as he shoots my attacker in the head and I do my best not to be grossed out by the warm blood that splattered on me. Four more shots fire through the air from various guns and soon all the cracked-out junkies are dead on the floor. They must have been using Darby's shit, with how twitchy they were being. 

   My beautiful Scotsman comes over and gently helps me off the ground. I peck his lips before high-tailing it to the closest bathroom. I try to ignore the glitter coating every surface of the room and rush to pull my underwear down from underneath my dress as Chibs comes in, a dad-lecture begging to come from his mouth. 

"Now, before you lecture me, I just want to remind you that I'm very beautiful, very pregnant, and very willing to suck your cock when we get home. Carry on," I tell him and his lips twitch trying not to smile or laugh. 

"Lamb, I really can't take you seriously when I can see your cat-themed underwear around your knees and hear you pissing out the Atlantic Ocean." 

"Aren't they great? Pussies to cover my pussy," I say being dead-serious and I finally get a laugh out of him. Once I finish my business and wash my hands, he grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him, his face serious once again. 

"I know that you can handle intense situations, Ellie, but I need you to be more careful when you're in them so that I don't end up having a heart attack," He begins and moves one hand down to my bump and the other around the back of my neck. "I don't want anything to happen to the two of you and it'll be more likely that's the outcome if you keep your sassy little mouth shut." 

"I know, baby. I'm sorry and I will sincerely work on it," I answer, and I know that I actually should follow through. In around four months, it won't be just me and Chibs anymore; we'll have a little one to live for too. "Thank you for always being my knight in shining armor." 

"Mhm, anything for my girl," He replies as he finally leans down to properly kiss me for the first time since we both left for work this morning. Of course, we can't have a second to ourselves before our little boy is kicking up a storm. Chibs squats down so that he's level with my stomach and grabs both sides of the bump.

"Hey now, lad. Let your ma and da practice a little more baby-making before you enter the world. You'll get all the attention you want once you're out, but leave us alone until you're actually in the world." His da voice is still perfect from when Kerrianne was a wee babe, and I do my best to ignore the flutter it sends between my legs. He kisses our little one before standing back to his full height. 

"Now, let's go have a little chat with Juice about protecting you better because it really shouldn't involve him being tied to a chair." 

#chibs telford #chibs #chibs fanfiction #fanfiction #filip telford #soa #sons of anarchy #jaxteller #jax #chibs imagine #soa chibs #fanfic

[overdevelopedglasses]

Tojoctober Day 7 - Alliance

(Everything's in gray, waiting to be saved)

Alt title is from “The Answer”, the ending song to Astral Chain

Yagami takes a break to calm himself down. But it's in the most unexpected times that help arrives.

(slight spoiler warning for Lost Judgment, as this fic takes place in Chapter 8 of LJ, timeline wise.)

—-------------------

Yagami, whose head is spinning with way too many thoughts, finds himself grateful for the quiet time that he needed to kill. He had to go back to Seiryo High today, as Amasawa mentioned a couple of clubs were looking at progressing their tasks, and they still needed to look for the Professor. But with everything that had happened last night, Yagami just stares out at the waters of the city with a cigarette in his hand, trying desperately to get what he saw and experienced out of his head.

Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice breaks Yagami's daze.

"Wooooooah!"

Yagami looks toward his left, and sees a man absolutely gawking at him. What the hell?

"Uh, can I help you?"

The man seemingly registers his actions and sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

"Oh, sorry, you just… you look so cool!"

He's certainly… enthusiastic. Yagami thinks, but isn’t going to deny a compliment.

"Oh! Thanks."

The two men stand a bit awkwardly, and Yagami takes the opportunity to size the other one up. Funnily enough, the man in front of him reminds Yagami of his partner. He looks slightly older than him, his hair is styled in a wild looking afro, and with the bright red suit and bat strapped to his back, he sticks out like a sore thumb. 

Then again, now that Yagami's out of Kamurocho, he does too.

"Uh, sorry, I don't mean to pry, it just looks like you were a bit lost in thought."

Yagami doesn't know how he drew that conclusion. Wildly, he finds himself being honest. Maybe it's the resemblance to Kaito.

"Well, a bit, I guess…" Yagami hesitates, and decides Fuck it, what else can go wrong in these 24 hours? "Bit of a weird question, but are you familiar with the underground of the city?"

The man looks at Yagami with a strange expression. "Why? Are you on their bad side or something?"

"Yes and no? It's complicated.” Yagami lets out a sigh, “A lot's complicated right now." He puts his cigarette out, staring into the water. In the water’s reflection, he sees the man lean on the railing next to him. 

"Yeah, I get that. It's like… you get way too much information all at once, and before you have the chance to process it, your whole world gets turned upside down, and you're left to pick up the pieces."

Yagami looks over, the other man's face in a solemn, yet soft expression. A flicker of understanding passes between the two of them.

Woah, this guy is perceptive.

"Right, to answer your question," the man clears his throat a bit, "Yeah, I know a couple people that work in that space. All nice people, honestly."

Yagami's eyes narrow slightly.

“Well, regardless of who you know, could you ask around for a handyman named Kuwana?” 

"Kuwana?" The man looks slightly confused.

"Well, he may not even be Kuwana…? I'm not so sure. This group, if you've heard of RK," the man gives a nod of understanding, and Yagami continues, "they're looking for Kuwana, or whatever the hell they’re calling him, and I have a feeling something bad is gonna happen if they get their hands on him. My friends and I are just trying to get to him first, and maybe figure out why RK is after him."

The man looks like he's deep in thought. It's at this point that Yagami’s conscious thought catches up with his instinct.

Wait, why am I being so open with this guy? Did I really just tell him about Kuwana? This could be really b-

"Yeah, I can ask around. You seem like a decent guy, so I can also put a good word in for you with my friends, uh…"

Oh right, my name.

"Yagami. Takayuki Yagami. I'm a detective, visiting from Kamurocho."

"Yagami-san! I'm Ichiban Kasuga. I'm from Kamurocho too! Anyway, yeah, I'll ask around for you. Do you have an easy way to be contacted?"

"Yeah. I'm good friends with the people at Yokohama 99, and here's my card in case I'm not there." Yagami digs into his jacket and hands Kasuga one of his business cards. Kasuga flips the card around in his hand before placing it in his jacket.

"Neat! Look for a buzz from me, Yagami-san. See you around!"

With a turn and a wave, Kasuga walks away. Yagami gets lost in his own thoughts, as he watches the wild man wave enthusiastically at someone in the homeless camp. 

Kasuga-san, huh? I'll have to keep him in mind. It's nice to know there are still good people around, despite their appearances. And despite… everything.

Yagami turns back to the slowly flowing waters of Ijincho, and he finds his mind has, thankfully, slowed down.

#tojoctober #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #lost judgment #ichiban kasuga #yagami takayuki #protagonists interacting your honor #ichiban would help yagami i just know it #chapter 7 of LJ left me 50 shades of fucked up #i really saw an LaD party member for 2 minutes in LJ and said “what if that happened more” #damn it now I just wanna play infinite wealth #if you read this far in the tags then you'll know the continuation of day 2's story is tomorrow

[crazedhatesoul]

@wanderinglcst @inxthexshadowxofxdeath

Matt: Matt looked at Hobbes across the way on the couch and frowned some at the hat on his head. "Do you ever wash that thing? I can smell it from here." He leaned over and knocked it off his head before turning back to the match they were watching today. Hawk was at work so instead of sitting around bored, he had radioed Hobbes to come over.

Hobbes: Hobbes was hyper focused on the television, edge of his seat as he watched the play only to be rudely interrupted. "Awh, what the fuck?" He snatched his cap before it could fall to the ground, "Nah, I rather it age like fine fuckin' wine -- of course I wash it!" He waved the hat in Matt's direction with one hand. "Look, I work in the goddamn woods, Matt. We had to burn a bunch of debris today and the smoke stuck to my clothes." The other arm stretched out to his side in a 'sue me' fashion. "It just so happens I was on my way home to shower before you radio'ed me." He put on a bad British accent, throwing the back of a hand over his forehead dramatically, "I'm so lonelyyy, come visit meee, Hawk's at workkk…"

Matt: "Still, you smell." Matt shrugged then rolled his eyes at the explanation. "Yeah, yeah. Excuses, excuses…" He couldn't hold it back any more and laughed at the impression. "Next time I won't fucking bother you arsehole." He was still laughing though and gave him a rough shove then picked up the nachos to eat and watch.

Hobbes: "Look, man your the one who interrupted me mid-route to my shower so unless you're offering yours…" He caught Matt's sleeve when shoved, "-- Oh, c'mon, baby don't be that way. This is tradition. You, me, the boys," he motioned to the tv, "There's somethin' sacred about this practice and you know it…" He paused. His own loneliness always snuck up on him. He turned his attention back to the tv. "…Honestly, rather be here than be home…"

Matt: He shook his head. "No, too late." Matt was still chuckling though as Hobbes had hold of his sleeve. "Fine fine, you've won me over." He slumped back into the couch. "I don't blame you. When I lived in the commune I felt super lonely despite being in a house full of people." Then he looked over again. "Why don't you use our shower? The towels are in the cupboard. I'm sure Hawk won't mind."

Hobbes: He considered Matt's words for a moment, hand moving to comb through his hair. "…My place used to be so much… brighter. There was always background noice. And crayola on the walls. And I was always stepping on fuckin' marbles and race cars." a slow exhale through his nose at the memory. "And now it's just silent. All the time. -- Sorry. Yeah. I think I will. Thanks." His mood had dropped exponentially, so he stood. Maybe a shower would help.

Matt: He looked at Hobbes as he spoke and didn't say anything until he was finished so leaned over and gave his knee a comforting squeeze. "Okay." Matt sat back again. "I'll be here watching this." He gestured with a smile.

Hobbes: The hand was a comfort, and Hobbes surprised himself by lifting his own to wisp over Matt's knuckles before standing. He didn't have the words to say thank you yet. He promised himself he would figure out a way to after his shower. Even if he clumsily stumbled through it.

Matt: The touch didn't go to miss and he tried his best to not react to it because he was super affectionate and loved nothing but being touched but it wasn't the right place nor time for it so he sat, eating the nachos for a little while, listening to the game then when he heard the key in the door, Matt dumped the food on the table and climbed over the back of the sofa. "Babe!"

Hawk: hawk was just getting home from what felt like a longer day then it should've been and he wanted nothing more than to just curl up next to matt and relax the rest of the night so when he heard the 'babe' after walking inside he smiled and closed the door behind him making sure to lock it. "hey baby," hawk walked up to matt and wrapped an arm around his waist not noticing anything else just yet, "how was yer day?"

Matt: He practically threw himself onto Hawk when he got closer and draped his arms around him, smothering his face with kisses. "Boring, Sugar sent me home early." Then he kissed his lips. "I just want a kiss from you and the world's all right again."

Hawk: he set his keys down on the table right before matt draped his arms over him and started laughing at the smothering, "alright alright i get it ya missed me," hawk teased but gladly kissed him back. "bummer she sent ya home early though." he finally looked over into the living room and spotted the nachos and drinks on the table then looked back at matt with a raised eyebrow, "did ya have company over?"

Hobbes: Hobbes had been rehearsing what to say, finding it increasingly difficult. He was so good at talking when he was saying nothing at all but when it came to the important moments he struggled. Towel wrapped around his waist he stared himself down in the mirror and told himself to get over it and that it wasn't that hard to let somebody know that you appreciated them. The only issue was that when you started appreciating people being around it hurt so much more when they weren't there anymore. But when he was with Matt he felt little need to be anything other than just Hobbes (be it goofy and hyperactive or exhausted and sad). Not many people had that privilege.

He hadn't heard Hawk come in over the shower head. "Hey, Matt? Listen…" He pushed wet curls off his forehead, "I just wanted to say thank you, for, you know…" His voice trailed at the sight of the two together. His sleepy gaze easily met Hawk's. "Oh, hey. Welcome home."

Matt: "I do actually it-" then Hobbes was speaking so he turned to face him with a smile when he started to thank him. "Yeah, Hobbes is here to watch a game, I hope it's okay that I let him use our shower." Matt stepped away from Hawk then grabbed a beer off the table, holding it out to him. Yeah, Matt did look for a second but it left as fast as it came. "Here you go, it's home brewed."

Hawk: hawks gaze met hobbes back after he'd realized it was him, trying not to stare or have a reaction at the fact he was just standing there in a towel but he did notice that matt had a look himself, then looked back at matt. "yeah that's fine i don' care," he said grabbing the beer. "and hey hobbes," hawk added taking a swig of the beer. "you two and sports, i don' get it sometimes."

Hobbes: Everyone seemed to take interest in Hobbes in his towel other than Hobbes who was currently more concerned that now he had to start his whole 'thanks you for being a friend' spiel over to Matt at a later date. "S'why you're never invited." Hobbes responded with a lazy smile. He leaned against the hallway wall arms crossed, "Since Matt takes such issue wit' my work gettup, it alright with either of you if I borrow something to…" He motioned to his torso, "Cover up?"

Matt: Matt pointed at Hobbes when he said that. "Exactly." Then he laughed some. "It's okay though babe, that's why Hobbes and I like hanging out so we can watch sports and be manly." When he said that, he flexed his arms then dropped them. "Yeah, course. I'll get you something of mine because his will swallow you." Then he vanished into the bedroom to fetch a t-shirt for Hobbes, bringing it back out shortly. "Here you go."

Hobbes: "I know what you just said to be true but I'm still upset about it." He snatched the shirt playfully, pulling it over his head, words muffled. "It anything. They'd be too long. That's all. You remember that."

Matt: He grinned. "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you, Hobbes? You're small." Chuckling, he pushed away from Hawk then sat himself back down on the sofa. "I'd rather they be too long than too big."

Hawk: hawk just watched the two of them go back and forth and thought to himself 'what the fuck is happening right now' before he shook himself out of his head. he kissed matt on the head after he'd sat down and laughed, "ya forgot to get him some pants dumbass." it was always said with love as he ruffled matts hair and disappeared into the bedroom, changing out of his work clothes and into his own sweatshirt and sweatpants, pulling out an extra pair of sweats for hobbes. hawk reappeared not shortly after and tossed the sweats at hobbes, "there, now ya can get out of the towel." not like he minded it anyway but he wasn't about to admit that now as he sat down and threw an arm around matts shoulders.

Hobbes: Hobbes leaned against the back of the couch where Matt sat, "I might be shorter than you two. But I'm definitely not small." he patted Matt's shoulder with one hand and caught the sweats with his other. He slipped them on and hung up his towel, returning to Hawk in his seat. He'd allow it. Tugging gently at one of the hoodie's laces he commented, "I never seen this before. You're always all dressed up when I see you." Or, before, all dressed down to nothing. Hobbes realized then he'd never really seen Hawk like this before. Sure they've hung out at the bar or on one of their porches but never had they sat on the couch together like Hobbes and Matt did. It was… nice. "Matt this is the softest fuckin' shirt I've ever worn." He looked down at it and found it comforting, fingers brushing over the bottom hem. "You might not get this back." Perhaps this was something like why his wife would always weasel away with Hobbes' henleys. 'I just like you close to me' she would say. He ignored the thought.

Matt: Matt glanced up at Hobbes when he leaned behind him and shook his head. "We'll have to see about that won't we." He teased then grinned when Hawk came back out, for some reason he didn't stop smiling every time Hawk entered the room and when he sat with him, Matt shuffled right up against him with the nachos, offering them for him to eat one by one. "It's my favourite hoodie. I keep telling him he should dress like this more in public but you know how he is." Matt sighed dramatically. "Why don't you keep it?" He offered after the statement about his shirt being soft. "I have others, it won't kill me to have one less shirt."

Hawk: hawk looked at the hand that tugged at the string for a moment and shrugged, using his free hand to pick at the nachos matt had offered him. "i don' know, jsut don' like dressin' this way in public. can' let people know i might actually have a soft side." he tried to joke but it came out sounding a bit too sincere. hobbes and matt were really the only two who ever got to see this side of hawk, occasionally his family depending on the situation but he felt comfortable being himself around these two. he rolled his eyes at the dramatics and gave matts shoulder a quick shove as he laughed. "it's not like he's wearin' his own clothes anyway, he practically steals everythin' i wear," hawk commented about matt.

Hobbes: He almost responded 'Hawk knows' before thinking better of it. Now was not the time. There were strict boundaries, rules to be followed. Otherwise, the easy order of what Hobbes had built with both of them would crumble. "You mean that?" Hobbes asked in response to Matt's offer, glancing at the man with raised brows. He looked back down at the shirt, "…Thanks, Matt…" It was a soft shit. And it smelt faintly of Matt too. There was something almost too comforting abut how they were set up now, too familiar. It reminded him of how he and his wife used to hole up on the couch with monsters and junk food. She'd rest her feet on him and yell at those stupid shows where they made a big to-do about who was or was NOT the father. He hadn't had that in so long…

When he reached for his beer it was almost sudden, finishing the one he had open before taking a swig of a second. "…I don't want to intrude or nothing if… you know… y'all want to spend time together. I get it. We can always finish the game another day Matt. Really I was just supposed to keep you company til' Hawk got home…"

Matt: He took Hawk's hand and made him hold the plate of nacho's now so he didn't need to keep holding onto it. "Having a soft side, as we've learned isn't a bad thing, babe." He rolled his eyes some. "I'm swearing his jumper right now." Matt flapped his arm then looked over at Hobbes. "I mean that, keep it." He confirmed with a smile.

"You're not intruding, you're our friend. Sit and stay." Matt patted the spot next to him on the couch. "I'm sure this one won't mind if we finished the game, will you babe? You don't even need to stick around if you don't want to. I know you're not a fan."

Hawk: hawk took the plate of nachos in his free hand since matt didn't want to hold them anymore and kind of made a face at matts comment, "yeah i know yer right just hard to get outta my shell i guess." hawk admitted. he rolled his eyes right back at him but for hawk it was about the fact he was wearing his hoodie but made no comment on it.

he frowned a little at how quickly hobbes seemed to want to leave since he'd gotten there. "when have ya ever intruded hobbes?" hawk added onto matts comment. "no i won' mind and it's fine, i wanna stay. i wanna learn more about the things ya like." was that directed towards the both of them? a little bit.

Hobbes: “Well we never really did this before…” Hobbes responded, “And you never…” he paused. Hawk never had a partner and he and Hobbes hadn’t really talked about it. Matt and Hobbes being friends complicated things slightly. It was easier for Hobbes to keep people in boxes. Since Hanna died he pushed most ‘friends’ away and kept the people he did interact with safely at arms length. Dedicated to them but never letting them worry about him. Duck was a good example.

Hawk had always been smoking, drinking, and the occasional fuck. It was almost methodical. Matt now acted as a soft, warm, binder between the two of them. Hobbes was loyal to a fault, and when Matt asked him to come over or sit and stay he had a hard time saying no.

He took a moment before sliding onto the couch, sandwiching Matt between him and Hawk. He ran a hand over the back of his neck.

“We’ll finish the game then, then I’ll get on down the road.”

Matt: Matt looked between them with a raised eyebrow but said nothing, none of his business, if they told him, they told him but honestly, Matt wasn't stupid but still said nothing.

When Hobbes sat next to him, he cheered and threw his arms around their shoulders and brought them closer to him. "Two very warm bodies." Matt gave them both a squeeze then kissed both on the heads and finally turned his attention back to the TV.

"Okay, we're watching some rugby because that's my favourite sport."

Hawk: what hobbes meant by ‘he never’ hawk would remain clueless about which was fine, maybe it was better that way anyway. it was easy to tell that matt was catching on that there might’ve been more to hawk and hobbes than what they’ve let on because they weren’t exactly being subtle about it but then matt threw in a curveball which made hawk raise his own eyebrow in response.

he looked behind matt’s head trying to see hobbes reaction to what just happened and noticed his ears were bright red, the same way they get with him sometimes. “what’s rugby?” hawk asked trying to fill the silence while hobbes seemed frozen in time which made him chuckle a little. since his arm was already around matt’s shoulder and he’d just pulled hobbes closer it was easier to do this, hawk flicked hobbes ear gently and smiled over at him, “earth to hobbes, ya good over there dude?”

Hobbes: No, Hawk. Hobbes wasn’t good. Because Matt just kissed him on the goddamn forehead.

He smacked Hawk’s hand. Shaking his head to toss his damp hair to cover his ears.

“Shut the fuck up. You know what rugby is.” He knew and Hawk knew he wasn’t telling Hawk to shut up over rugby. “S’like football but also not at all. — Sorry. S’like American football.” He added for Matt. As someone who’s played both it was easy enough for Hobbes to point out the differences. “Matter fact, it’s probably closer to soccer.” Again he added for Matt, “— or football. Happy?” He couldn’t help buy miss having Matt’s arm around him. It had been literal years since he had someone crawl onto the couch with him to cuddle. He tried to ignore how much he missed it. But now it was hard.

So he would force himself. He leaned back, resting his elbow on the arm of the couch. It was an attempt to keep himself on his own cushion. If his knee still brushed next to Matt’s it was merely a coincidence.

Matt: Was he a snob about the terms used? Yes so when Hobbes added both, he smirked a bit. He did let him go though and focused on getting closer to Hawk instead, leaning right up against him.

"It's a good explanation." Matt nodded with approval then kissed Hawk on the cheek, slipping his hand into his. "So this is just a recording of one of the six nations matches."

Hawk: hawk tried to process everything they were saying and just got increasingly more confused at hobbes changing from football to soccer to american football and all the which ways this man does not know sports terms let alone the difference in sports between countries.

when he noticed that matt had let him go and hobbes sunk to the arm rest he couldn’t help the slight frown, but smiled at matt, getting closer to him as well. hawks arm stayed around matt’s shoulder and the back of the couch as he watched and it was almost as if it was on instincts that hawks fingertips found hobbes shoulder letting them rest there gently. “so this is what you two do when i’m not around?”

Hobbes: Hobbes rested his chin in the palm of his hand. He exhaled through his nose at the fingertips resting on his shoulder.

His instinct was to excuse himself to smoke but he couldn't. So he chewed on his bottom lip instead, brow slightly furrowed as he tried to stay focused on the television.

"When you're not around we're usually screaming at the tv." He eyed Matt, teasing, "He's acting all sweet now but just wait til the referee does some dumb shit. Turns into a lil British monster."

Matt: "We also shag." Matt teased then laughed. "What the fuck are you on about mate? I am sweet as fuck." He reached over and pushed Hobbes for that. "Fun fact for the pair of ya, when I was in my 20's, me and some of me mates used to go to Liverpool in our Man U shirts, stand outside Liverpool's stadium and piss the fans off for fun. I got arrested for trespassing once, I only put my leg up over a barrier because Liverpool fans are pussys." He nodded once he finished his story then cleared his throat.

"Anyway… I like the footie ok? I like rugby too and shouting at the ref is a national past time at home." His accent had shifted back to normal now he was finished with his story.

Hawk:: "oh trust me i've seen when he's not sweet," hawk commented, rubbing at his chin to try and hide the smirk that was trying to form on his lips and focused in on the tv. then at the tease hawk chuckled a little unable to help himself, "without me? rude."

he really did try and understand what matt was saying but man was it hard, something about being arrested and whatever the fuck footie was so hawk just stared at matt confused, "i've not a clue what ya just said babe."

Hobbes: "He just confirmed what I said." Hobbes responded, adding a mumbled, "(I think…)" A half smile against his hand at the shove. He wasn't watching the game anymore, eyes staring at nothing for a moment. "No, we don't fuck, Hawk, don't worry. But he does beat me up. Can't speak on what kind of sick pleasure Matt gets out of that though." No wonder Matt and Hawk were together. They both were gluttons for punishment. He took a swig from his beer at such a realization, eyes finding anywhere else to look at and landing on the curtains. "…Shit." He pulled out his phone - it really just served as his watch now and a photo album. "It got late." He stood to peek through the curtains, "I should probably head out now if I want to get home." again he glanced at the time, "If I can get home…"

Matt: He glanced between them, expecting them to know what he was on about but when they didn't, he shook his head some. "You Americans." He nodded, confirming that he does indeed beat him up. "You don't have to leave, there's a spare bedroom and it's gonna be dark in a little while." Matt didn't want Hobbes to have to run home and still get caught out there. "I can make up the bed in no time."

Hawk: hawk ruffled matts hair about the americans comment and watched as hobbes got up to look out the curtains, god did he hate when people did that but that was his own personal issue. he wanted to pretend the night didn't even exist in this town and got well enough in ignoring the whispers that would try and lure him out, especially those of his brothers. hawk got up and off the couch, heading for the front door making sure he'd locked it before and now standing in front of it to block hobbes from leaving. "i'm not lettin' ya go home now, it's way too late, like matt and said and like ya already know i've got sparerooms." he was protective of the people he cared about, hawk was scared of loosing either of them in anyway and the thought of hobbes trying to run home and still possibly getting caught made him feel sick as he pointed back at the couch, "so sit yer ass back down." he might've sounded a little more stern than he was intended but if it got the point across then it did its job.

Hobbes: "If I left now I could get home…" Hobbes began in response to Matt when he turned to face Hawk who was now acting as some sort of barricade. For a moment he was at a loss for words. He should have left when Hawk got in. And yes, it was silly. Yes, Hobbes had stayed over Hawk's in the past but only in very specific capacities. Yes, he knew Matt and Hawk were together but Hobbes had never been witness to their domestic home life. And that was easier for him. Because it didn't remind him of what he lost.

Now the balance was completely thrown and it left Hobbes feeling anxious, and sad, and frustrated.

His eyes narrowed.

"…Since when the fuck do I take orders from you, Hawk?" He took a step forward into Hawk's space, "If I want to leave and go home, I'm going to leave and go home. I don't have an issue movin' your ass. How bout that?"

Matt: Matt watched carefully then winced some when it started to escalate but he hung back a little. "Babe… maybe you should just let him go then." He suggested calmly. "It's still light enough and those things will still be far enough that he'll make it." Matt then got off the couch when Hobbes stepped into Hawk's space.

"Guys, come on. We're all supposed to be friends here hanging out." He moved closer just in case one tried to punch the other or something, he was fully prepared to pull off whoever starts it. "Hawk, have another beer and let Hobbes go."

Hawk: "since yer tryna get yourself fuckin' killed hobbes," hawk took a step back now pressed against the door when hobbes stepped into his space not wanting to fight him. he glanced at matt at the suggestion and felt.. almost angry that he'd even suggest something like that so close to dusk. "have you seen how fast those things can run? no one has a chance i don' care how fast someone says they can run they're not human."

and then matt was suggesting to let him go again , "would you quit tellin' me to let him go?! no! the answers no! i'm not lettin' either of you step outside of this fuckin' house right now, not anymore. i can't. i won't." hawk was in full panic mode at this point but was trying not to show it so much. he knows hobbes strength despite his size, he knows if hobbes really wanted too he could easily move hawk from the door and maybe that's why he chose to be pressed up against it. "would you just fuckin' listen to me for once hobbes?" he was looking down at him, quite literally pleading with his eyes before whispering, "please."

Hobbes: Hobbes hands rose to run over his brow, frustrated for no reason. He knew Hawk was right but couldn't form the right words to explain what was bothering him.

Of course Hobbes didn't want to hurt Hawk. He would never.

"Alright." he responded quietly, "Alright."

He didn't know what to do with his hands, curling them into his palm tightly then releasing them then curling them again. Stuck in place, unsure what to do he chewed down on his bottom lip again til it bled.

"Sorry. I don't know what's fuckin' wrong with me…"

Usually when Hobbes had moments of panic like this he was alone. Trembling by himself in an empty house. And they were the most miserable awful feeling. Now Hawk and Matt were there and he wasn't sure if that was better or worse yet.

Matt: "There's no need to shout at me, Hawk! He's clearly feeling trapped right now, now move." Matt went over and took hold of Hawk's arm, gently guiding him away from the door then took his hand, giving it a squeeze before slowly pulling him into a hug, clearly something had been going on there to cause him to panic. "It's okay." He shhed him softly then glanced over at Hobbes.

"Like I said, I can make the spare room up for you in a bit." He sighed heavily. "You're just frightened, I can see that. It's a lot safer here but if you really want to leave then the door's there." Matt pointed to it. "If you don't, then go sit somewhere and calm down." He kept his voice soft and steady for both of them. "Everything's fine."

Hawk: hawk never shouted at matt before and the moment he pointed it out he felt instant guilt as he looked at his feet, letting matt move him away from the door and hugging him back tightly as if it was his way of apologizing for it. he wasn't used to being vulnerable around either of them and was only just getting used to it with matt so when he felt like tears were about to spill over he glanced at hobbes after matt pointed at the door. "please stay," hawk whispered, reaching out to grab his hand and pull him into the hug as well even if that's not what hobbes might have wanted, "i can't lose you. i can't lose either of you." he mumbled resting his chin on matts head.

Hobbes: Hobbes was going to leave. He needed to break and smoke and drink and be alone to figure out why this all was such an issue or (more realistically) ignore what happened entirely. It would be fine. He’d leave tonight and then the next time they could fix this. They could set things back to normal they could…

But Hawk had caught his hand and was even more upset than before. His eyes found Matt’s then.

This is why I shoulda left.

When he spoke again it was almost like he was in a trance. Like he had some form of deep silent revelation.

“I know where the spare room is.” He spoke directly to Matt. “You stay with him…” he pressed Hawk’s hand into Matt’s. Then made his way to the spare bedroom.

Matt: Matt took hold of Hawk's hand, watching Hobbes leave to go to the spare room and frowned some. After a couple of minutes, he pulled away from the hug for a second. "Leave him, he'll show his face when he's ready to again. Come on." Matt led him over to the couch and sat down, pulling Hawk down with him so he was lying against his chest. While he sat there with Hawk on him, he stroked his hair and decided to continue watching the game while he waited for Hawk to calm down.

Hawk: hawk just nodded as he watched hobbes disappear into the spare room, moving with matt to the couch and wrapping his arms through the cushions so they could be wrapped around matt. he closed his eyes and just focused on matts heartbeat to ground himself from everything until he opened them again to look at the tv. "i'm sorry," hawk mumbled against his chest, "i just.. i thought of him gettin' attacked by one of the monsters and i panicked."

Matt: He sat in silence for a little bit, stroking at Hawk's hair still, he seemed to be calming down judging by the fact that his breathing was no longer panicked. So he glanced down when he spoke. "I know, it's okay to be concerned but you went about it wrong and you know what? So did he." Matt shook his head a little. "You didn't have to yell at me, you know? I was just trying to stop you from practically throwing your body on Hobbes' to stop him from leaving but I get it, you panicked, it's okay now. Are you feeling any better?"

Hawk: ‘you went about it wrong’

that seems to be the only thing hawks good at doing is going about everything the wrong way no matter who it was, a stranger, family, someone he cared about, he doesn’t know the right way. “i know,” he whispered looking up at him finally, squeezing him tighter again when matt said he didn’t have to yell at him.

that same guilt from before hit wanting to retreat into himself and hide. “i’m so sorry i yelled at you, i’m really fuckin’ sorry.” now he hid his face into matt’s chest trying not to let his emotions overwhelm him, “not really but i’ll be fine.” at least it wasn’t his heart this time.

Matt: Matt sighed softly as his features softened up too, he couldn't stay like this with him for long, clearly there was something more going on here. "I forgive you." He told him softly then put his head back on the couch. "Can I ask you a question though?" Matt glanced at him again. "And I really need you to be honest with me because judging by your behavour then, there's something more going on?" He asked straight up, unable to hold the question back any longer.

Hawk: hawk was able to crack a small smile as matt forgave him but that was soon taken away when he wanted to ask him a question and felt his heart start racing all over again. he ran a hand through his hair and stood up from the couch, reaching out for matts hand. "not here," hawk had every intention on being honest with matt, he always was and always will be no matter what and what he was about to say he didn't want hobbes to potentially overhear. he waited for matt to get up and led him to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them and sat himself on the bed letting go of matts hand to let him choose if he wanted to sit or stand.

"hobbes and i, we hooked up in the past, it was usually when one or the other needed to just fuck to forget," at least for hawk it started off that way, "we haven't done anythin' since you and i got together i promise you that but." he had to pause and look down at his hands afraid to admit the next thing in fear it'll push matt away, "at some point i realized i liked him the same way i liked you, not love but i know i feel the same way i felt about him that i felt about you when we first got together."

Matt: Matt got up and followed Hawk into the bedroom, closing the door behind them then crossed his arms over his chest, listening to what he was telling him and letting him finish before speaking. "Okay, one, I figured out that you guys had fucked like five minutes into meeting Hobbes, so that isn't anything new just a confirmation if anything and two, what do you wanna do about it?" He asked now.

Hawk: he looked up at matt now, well that was one way to know that matt already knew and he was being honest that him and hobbes haven't done anything since then. "i-" hawk furrowed his eyes a little looking back down, "i don' know." he shrugged a little, "i wanna respect that you said you want it to be just us, i don' wanna push ya into anythin' cause then i'll just feel worse about it all."

Matt: He moved his hands onto his hips now then glanced up at the ceiling before heading over to Hawk and kissed his lips. "We'll see, ok? But fucking hell, you have to tell him at some point, the tension that comes off you around him is tense, relax." He put his hands on his shoulders. "Everything's ok, I'm not mad, I've forgiven you and heard you out."

Hawk: hawk wrapped his arms around matt as he kissed him and rested his head against his stomach for a second before moving his head back to look up at him, "no, i can' do that, not to hobbes. you saw how he got out there i don' wanna make him feel that way, not again." even though he really really wanted to tell him but he wasn't sure how it'd go and was afraid to find out. hawk nodded and took a deep breath in, using the hands on his shoulders and matts words to keep himself grounded. "can you go check on him? please? i'm sorry if that's askin' a lot i'm just… i'm worried." that and he needed a moment alone.

Matt: He rested a hand on top of his head and stroked his fingers through his hair, honestly? He didn't even know what to say about the entire thing and finding out the guy you love also likes someone else? Matt knew what he was but it didn't stop it from stinging any less. At it was now out in the open between them. "Ok, alright. Well, I'm leaving the choice to you because it's not my thing to tell him." He shrugged some. Matt leaned down to kiss him a little more deeply. "I love you." He kissed him once more then pulled away, nodding. "Of course I will." Matt had to get one more kiss in before leaving their room to go check on Hobbes.

Hawk: god when the fuck was the guilt going to stop? no matter what he said or the more hawk said he didn't feel any less guilty for admitting to the man he loves that yeah he has feelings for someone else. sure he'd told matt he was poly but he wasn't expecting this conversation to hurt as much as it was in this moment. who wouldn't feel hurt about hearing that kind of stuff? hawk was at least glad matt had agree'd not to tell hobbes because maybe eventually he'd tell him himself. "thank you," he whispered right before matt kissed him, kissing him back just as deep and sighing softly against his lips. "i love you too," hawk held onto the back of matts neck to have their foreheads touching just needing that contact in that moment and let go as he kissed him again.

he gave matt an appreciative smile since he'd said he'd check on him and waited for matt to leave, closing the door behind him and climbed back into bed. matt had never seen hawk when he hits one of his lows and if he had anything to say about it, it would stay that way while he climbed back into the bed and barried his face into the pillow, holding onto it as he just silently let the tears fall now that threatened to spill over earlier.

Matt: When the door closed, he just stood there silently for a couple of minutes then took a deep breath and headed down the hall to the other rooms, the first one he checked there was no Hobbes in that one so moved to the next door and knocked on. "Hobbes? Can I come in?"

Hobbes: He’d been siting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands for he didn’t know how long. His hair had dried by the time Matt called to him, voice muffled by the door.

His head shot up.

“Yeah.. Course…” he exhaled.

Was it better that Matt came to check up on him rather than Hawk? Like most everything about tonight it was a complicated prospect.

He waited for the door to close behind Matt before running a hand over his mouth.

“…I’m sorry. About. Whatever the fuck happened out there.” He forced his gaze from the wall to look at Matt, “Remember when you asked me about Hawk? When we first met? Yes. We were fuckin’ but it was just sex. It was supposed to be just sex. And us? Hangin’ out was just supposed to be hangin’ out and now I’m in your shirt and that’s the only fuckin’ thing keeping me grounded right now. That’s fucked.” He stood, pacing, his voice hushed, “And now… now I’m… I’m fuckin’ worried that…” he shook his head, willing himself to stop, “…Forget it. Bottom line is I’m a fuckin’ asshole. And Hawk loves you. I’m sure I’m just getting all worked up for no reason. So I’m sorry.” He pushed curls off his forehead, “You’re a really good friend that’s what I was trying to thank you for earlier and I’m the asshole.”

“You’re always so good and sweet to me and I’m freaking the fuck out over nothing.”

Matt: He waited for confirmation before going in (what do u mean? He's still polite) and closed the door behind him, leaning against it.

Matt shrugged some. "It happened, you wanted to leave and Hawk tried to stop you… in a way he shouldn't have but we spoke." He put his hands in his pockets, not moving from where he was leaning while Hobbes spoke. "Worried about what? You can tell me, it's only me." He gestured to himself. He shook his head when Hobbes called himself an asshole. "You're not an arsehole, clearly something happened but you're still not an arsehole."

He moved closer now and put his hands on his shoulders and gave them a squeeze, hoping it would help him calm down more. "Well, I can't help being good and sweet. You've seen outside and the shit we've got to live in, why add to the collection of arseholes who will have no trouble throwing others out there if it meant saving their own skins."

Hobbes: “Worried that the lines had blurred.” He answered honestly. When hands found Hobbes’ shoulders one of Hobbes’ own rose to rest atop Matt’s. It happened without him even thinking about it, continuing with a shake of his head, “But how fuckin’ full of myself can I be, huh?” He looked back up at Matt then, small smile pulling at his lips.

“You’re a good man, Matt.”

There was a parallel there.. between ‘throwing people out’ because it was easier and how Hobbes pushed people away in attempt to protect both parties from what he felt was inevitable pain, because that was easier than loss. But Hobbes was too many beers in and too tired to think about that right now.

“He’s a lucky guy.”

Matt: He sighed a little, maybe the lines were a little blurred now after what Hawk had told him, his feelings for Hobbes. Matt turned his hand around and gave Hobbes' a squeeze before taking it away and sitting himself on the bed. "You and Hawk need to talk this through." Matt glanced at him. "But leave it till the morning when you're both, hopefully feeling better emotionally."

"He's an extremely lucky guy." Then he dropped a hand on his thigh and gave it a squeeze. "You good? Do you need a hug too?" He offered.

Hobbes: Matt’s answer didn’t help ease Hobbes’ concerns. His brow furrowed.

“…Why’d you sigh like that?”

He followed Matt to the bed, sitting next to him.

“Extremely? Now that might be an overstatement.” He tried for a joke, responding to Matt’s question by wrapping his arms around him. Hobbes couldn’t remember the last time he went out of his way to hug someone. Not a half hug, a true hug. It very well might not have been since before Hanna passed.

“Don’t change, man.” He murmured into Matt’s shoulder. His eyes closed for a moment, savoring the moment. “No one calls me this. And it feels like a shitty time to tell you. But if we’re bein’ honest tonight I might as well…” he pulled away, “My name’s Ruben. Hobbes is my last. Just… realized I never told you that. And feel like you should know.”

Matt: He shook his head in response because what Hawk told him wasn't stinging any less right now, he knew he needed to come to terms with it and he will sooner or later.

"Oh please, we both know I'm out of his league." He joked back with a chuckle. "Oh." Matt hadn't expected Hobbes to just launch himself into the offered hug but wrapped his arms around him anyway, giving him a proper hug.

"I tried to be a football hooligan once, it didn't work out so it's safe to say I won't be changing any time soon." He shook his head a little then raised a brow slightly after he told him that and dropped his arms. "Hm, you don't look like a Ruben. You look more like a Mike or a Tyler." He was kidding of course and sighed all dramatically. "I guess I can accept this information."

Hobbes: Matt still wasn’t telling him something, Hobbes knew that.

His hand involuntary moved to his back pocket for a pack of cigarettes that wasn’t there anymore. Instead he found a mint, popping it in his mouth and almost choking when he laughed.

“Mike?” for the first time a full smile appeared on his face, hand moving to push hair off his forehead, amused, “I know I’m I dumb athlete but sheesh.” Next Matt’ll say he looks like a Toby or worse a Cody.

Arms now free he leaned back on his elbows on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Anyway the only people who called me Ruben were my folks. And they’re dead… And Hanna called me Roo.” And Matt knew she was passed, “Feel like I’m not really a Roo anymore either…” like a part of him had died with her and that was a depressing thought.

“…Hawk ok? I should probably go apologize to him too, huh?”

Matt: As much as Matt wanted to tell him, it was Hawks business and he needed to tell him himself so all Matt could do was suck it up and push those feelings down.

"Mike." He repeated with a smile and didn't even help when he nearly choked on the mint. "I think it's the blonde more like." He chuckled some.

"It's okay if you don't feel like Roo any more, things changed for you. I think Hobbes is very fitting." Matt looked down at him.

"Hawk's not okay but give him some space till the morning okay? I'll cook some breakfast to lure him out of bed."

Hobbes: “Oh, so I’m a dumb blonde now.” He teased. His voice trailed however as Matt continued, “… It’s less I don’t feel like Roo anymore.” He searched the ceiling for answers, “More like he’s been lost for a long time and I don’t know how to get him back… If I can…” sleepy gaze returned to Matt’s, “That make sense?”

He examined Matt’s face for a moment.

Don’t push.

But at this point Hobbes wasn’t sure his his original strategy of not pushing too hard or asking too many questions was the real problem.

“Why don’t you wake me up? I’ll help you.” He held Matt’s gaze, “I mean it. I’m not good in the kitchen but, wake me up, ok?” He waited for confirmation, sat in silence for a moment.

He shifted to his side.

“What about you? You ok?”

Matt: He listened and nodded some. "Maybe he'll come back to you at some point." Then Matt got off the bed. "Fingers crossed." Then he headed to the door.

"We'll see." Matt gave him a smile. "Maybe the smell will lure you out too." Now he raised an eyebrow at the question. "I'm always okay." Matt opened the door. "Get some rest."

Hobbes: His brow furrowed.

“…You’re allowed to not be, Matt. Hold on.” He stood now but stayed put by the bed. He thought better of going after him. The last thing he wanted was to crowd Matt. “……Alright. You too.”

Matt: Matt didn't actually go bed that night, just stayed up, cleaned everything up and watched more matches until the sun came up. That's when he left the house.

Hobbes: Hobbes didn’t sleep much either. He was a light sleeper anyway, and was often up early for work. He waited for the knock from Matt that never came before venturing into the quiet house.

He poked his head into Hawks room where only one body laid sleeping. Then fo the kitchen. Then to the living room. Then out to the front porch.

“Shit… Fuck.”

He pulled on his hat then work jacket over the borrowed clothes, pulling on heavy duty boots when he went back to Hawk’s room. He wondered if he had time to search for Matt before waking Hawk but knew that Hawk getting up to an empty house would be equally as stressful.

“Yo, Hawk. Wake up. Hey.” He shook Hawk’s shoulder, “Does Matt go on morning walks?”

Hawk: some point during hawks silent cry while matt was talking to hobbes it turned into exhaustion until he eventually passed out for the night. it was a weird sleep almost as if even unconscious he knew something was missing.

maybe that’s why it was pretty easy for hobbes to wake him up by just shaking his shoulder which usually wouldn’t. hawk jerked awake, staring in front of him silently as if the words that were said were foreign to him until they finally processed. “what?” he looked up to see hobbes then looked next to him to the empty bed, jumping out of bed now. “no he doesn’t.”

hawk wasn’t trying to seem like he was ignoring hobbes when he went past him and into the kitchen where the was of course no matt to be found and the panic he felt last night came back in that moment. “where the fuck is he, where did he go, hobbes i fucked up man this is all my fault i fucked up. where is he?!”

Hobbes: He followed after Hawk, grabbing a pair of the man’s shoes ans holding them out.

“I already checked the house. I don’t know, Hawk! That’s why I woke you. — You want to take the commune, I’ll take the garage?” He asked, already in go-mode.

Hawk: he grabbed the shoes from hobbes and put them on quickly, shaking his head, “no, you should take the commune. i cant promise i won’ fight some fucker while i’m there cause i know one of thems gonna say somethin’ smart.”

Hobbes: “Copy. I’ll take the commune. — Hold on…” He pulled out his talkie as he bounded down the front porch stairs, “Ay-O. Miss Sugar. This is Ruben Hobbes. Radio check. Over.”

The mechanics’ voice was static but clear enough over.

“Go ahead!”

“Matt come into work today?”

“Negative.” A pause, “Why?”

“If you see him can you let him know we’re lookin’ for him Miss Sugar?” He responded without going into detail.

“…Roger.”

“Thank you. Out. — Not at the garage.” He called to Hawk, “I’d start wherever else he likes to go in town. You got a radio on you?”

Hawk: no point in changing obviously there was more important things to worry about so his sweats and hoodie are there to stay, listening to the conversation while he thought of where matt might be.

hawk held up his radio in response, “always,” it came out as a mumble.

“i’ll check the diner and video store first, let you know if i find him there. let me know if you find him at the commune yeah?”

Hobbes: He merely nodded, one hand firm against Hawk’s bicep. It was his way of saying, We’ll find him before bounding off towards the commune.

Hawk: hawk didn’t react to the hand on his bicep, not right now, not with the way he felt about this all being his fault

’i shoulda just let him leave then nona this would’ve happened.’

he shook that thought away real fast, following hobbes out the door and off in the direction of the diner first.

Matt: Matt rounded a corner with two bags full of produce, chowing down on the strawberries. He paused when he saw them about to split off to find him so raised an eyebrow. "Hey guys, what you doing?" Matt offered them the strawberries. "I got up early to get the best produce of the day." He held up the bags that were draped over his arms. "We didn't have any eggs for the breakfast I wanna make but hey, now I do." Then he looked between them. "What?"

Hobbes: Hobbes literally made a little dent in the top soil when he skidded to a stop. He took his sunglasses off to run his hands over his face.

“Fuuuuck me.”

A hand shot out to rest against a nearby tree, the other found his knee. He felt like he was going to throw up. Like he’d just run a god damn mile and needed to catch his breath.

Hawk: all hawk could do was blink when he saw matt just casually walk up to them right before they parted.

he grabbed matt’s face with both his hands, pulling him into a kiss and then pulled away, smacking him upside the head in the process.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?! you couldn’t have left a note?”

Matt: "Hey babe." Matt smiled and kissed him back before flinching at the smack. "Hey!" He couldn't even rub his head then looked between them. "Were you worried about me? Sorry, it's Saturday, I usually go the market at this time and get some fresh produce. You're usually sleeping like a log, Hawk that you don't even notice when I'm getting dressed and leaving. Hobbes is our first overnight visitor. Sorry guys, I didn't even think about leaving a note."

Hobbes: Hobbes exhaled slowly through his nose. “Yeah, Matt. We were…” he moved back towards the house to grab his backpack, hefting it over his shoulder.

“Thank you for the clothes. I’ll wash em and bring em back next time. Think I’ve overstayed my welcome.” This was the feeling he’d been trying to avoid, that ache in his chest. “I know we,” he motioned to Hawk, “Gotta talk at some point. But it don’t got to be over eggs. You two enjoy your breakfast.” It was almost like… a switch went of in his head. He was speaking to them like civilians, like he was Deputy Game Warden Ruben Hobbes and not… just Hobbes. Silly, tired Hobbes. No… he was just tired.

“You know where to find me, man.” He said, only briefly meeting Hawks gaze before finding Matt’s, “I’m glad you’re ok, Matt. I’ll see y’all… Whenever you want me.”

Hawk: as much as hawk wanted to stop hobbes, the last time that happened it did not go over well so he’d leave the trying to convince him to stay up to matt and just nodded. truthfully he didn’t want to talk to hobbes about it but knew either him or matt were gonna get sick of him not saying something anyway but that felt like a future problem. “i guess we’ll see ya around then hobbes.”

he grabbed the groceries from matt, leaning over to whisper, “talk to him,” then kissed his cheek, going inside with the bags now.

Matt: Matt watched as Hobbes gathered his things and proclaimed that he was going home, that's fair enough. Then he was left alone with him, why did he have to convince him to stay? Matt watched Hawk go back into the house then looked at Hobbes. "I'm making eggs benedict." He shrugged his shoulders some. "I'm a banging cook but it's your choice, I'm not gonna stop you from leaving."

Hobbes: He shook his head, having overheard Hawk’s request but not stopping to turn til Matt spoke.

“Matt, enjoy your morning with your boyfriend.” And with that he threw his sunglasses back on, offered a gentle, “I’ll see you.” Before heading out “Oh and thanks for everything.”

#hawk:threads #ft. matt #ft. hobbes #long post #it's so long im so sorry #if you find typos or mistakes mind your business

[crsinclair]

so here's the scoop

Actually before that, I wanna say that I've participated in the Erasermic Omegaverses Zine this year, can't remember if I yelled about that on here? I was a fic writer for that - if you like Erasermic and like ABO, here's the link to the collection on Ao3! Mind the tags on the individual fics, please! ANYWAY. I've had. A fucking. Time. Kinda a rant and also an explanation for why I've been absent and also why I linked my kofi at the bottom of this. A lot of shit happened!🙃 This summer, my Papa passed away. I loved him. I really did. He was funny, kind, and he took shit from absolutely no one. If it hadn't been him I would have said I wasn't going to go help out and I was just going to go to the funeral. But it was him, so I told my friends that I was going back to the city, and I was going to help settle everything, pack his things, etc, because I loved him. I should have stayed home. First of all, my family treated me like free labor and like shit while I was there to help out. Second of all, I got into a car accident on the way to the funeral and the guy who hit me tried to intimidate me into not calling the police before driving off - and yes, I was injured. Third, my family "expressed concern" over my injury and then proceeded to have me write the obituary, decorate the funeral room alone, and asked me to be a pallbearer while injured. I could go into so much more detail but I'll spare you the horror of My Family™️. I'm honestly surprised I made it home without collapsing. AND ON THAT NOTE: A week later, I did collapse. Dramatically, and with flair. I was recovering from both whiplash, grief, and having to spend time with My Family™️ and over at my friend's grandmother's house when suddenly I didn't feel well. I stood up to splash some water on my face, got into the restroom, realized, "Hm, this is more serious than Not Feeling Well, I should tell someone Right Fucking Now," wobbled back into the other room, told the grandmother that something was wrong, and then proceeded to collapse to the ground and have a heart attack. After that, my heart rate would not calm the fuck down and I had wild heart palpitations for the next seven hours! Yes, I went to the hospital. I have been to the hospital twice more after that, had several more doctor appointments, have had several tests done (including a Tilt Table test, which 0/10, do not recommend), and there's plenty more that I could talk about (like the Tilt Table test, though I might just make a TikTok account for just to rant about that akdhfa it's both not funny and FUNNY), but what it all boils down to is this: I have a very, very severe case POTS all of a sudden and my doctor is still trying to figure out what the hell caused it. Currently I'm trying for disability benefits because I legitimately cannot work - my sleep schedule is fucked, my energy levels are all over the place, I can't stand for long at all without fainting and I can't sit for varying length of time without the same. I hate to even do this, but I'm a broke bitch who has medical bills for tests and operations (god I have one in just a few days and I am NOT looking forward to it) that I can't pay for because I don't have insurance, so: Here's my kofi page if you'd like to buy me a coffee or help me not stress about the multiple doctors visits I have every month!

I do have, like, actual things I want to talk about other than "Oh this is what I've been up to - BEING SICK" - like the cute EMic fics I have in the works, the Cheeky Brat fic I've been working on and haven't been talking about on here because it's 🤭 e x p l i c i t (teehee) and even my DnD shit that is mostly entirely self indulgent but I don't care I'm going to shove it in your faces anyway.

Anyways, that's what I've been up to. I've posted about a good portion of this on Twitter, so I know some of you guys know about this, but I wanted to give Tumblr a heads up that I am bed ridden and Doing My Best.😫

#ravyn rants #yeesh it's been a r i d e #health problems #life update #i hate asking for help #and asking for money #but i acknowledge that i am rubbing together imaginary pennies at this point #any help that can be given would be very appreciated #i might even do tiny doodles in return #tiny ones #chibi #ravyn rants in the tags #anyway also go check out the omegaverses zine fics they're all great #and some of them have the art in them!! #good stuff good stuff