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enjeolmii · 3 years

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10 questions - p.sh

synopsis: to ask questions isn't too bad. but to end up doing something you never expected from the intention behind every question? way better!

genre: fluff, slightly suggestive

word count: 2.4k

warnings: make out sesh (not written in depth), lots of teasing but it’s all playful you nasty

"Next question! Did you like anyon-"

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? I'm supposed to go next." Sunghoon blocks you with an audible tap on the soft mattress, tsk-ing at your smooth but not slick enough scheme to get more answers from him.

It's a Saturday - the day of the week when assignments, works, chores, and duties are temporarily thrown down the window. On these days, you and Sunghoon go on a carefree date. It's a routine you made once a week to maintain your relationship amidst the setback caused by lockdown, and it was going great.

At a time when real interactions between people became an inappropriate thing to do, and everyone turned to technology as a resolution, you made sure that everything is done by Friday, despite it being so dreading, just so that procrastinating wouldn't be a problem dragged over the next day. And when those pressuring times occur to you, you would send each other texts, exhorting to go easy on yourselves. That's why Saturdays are the only thing you wait for every week. You weigh it up as a chance to see the only light that keeps you going, the one that helps you see clearly the path you are taking in this obscure world.

So here you are with Sunghoon in your bedroom, sitting on the bed and leaning on the wall beside it, covered in your blanket as you cuddle under the warm, comfy covers. The day has been an uneventful one. If not for him reminding you of the conversation you had prior in the week, where you asked him to gather questions he had for you, you would have slept the whole day over without accomplishing anything.

"Fine, what's your eighth question?" You admit, frowning at his attentive remark, and he snickers.

He lifts his phone and scrolls through the questions he has saved in his notes. "Have you ever had a dream about me?"

Your eyes roll around with a finger on your chin, recalling the scenarios you had of him. There were many, some surrounding the time when he decided to confess to you, and most of them came from the fantasies you had of him. Those dreams scare you more than the stare of a fiery lion. It almost even feels illegal to think about it because you aren't well over twenty. Though they were just outlines of you and him kissing innocently, you always end up making out at the end of the story.

You weren't one of those twelve-year-olds who've had their first kisses already. Your mother kept a close eye on you in situations like this, so you would rather make out with your pillow than hear her nagging your ears off. Because of that, you grew up as a child unbothered by her love life, and the mere thought of kissing someone in real life makes your hair stand up. That's when you knew he brought out a lot of changes in you.

You swallow the lump of saliva in your throat. "Yeah, I have." You answer truthfully but still cautious of the words you put out.

"Really?" His head perks in your direction. "What did I do?"

You got a little nervous knowing he would undoubtedly interrogate you on this. But thankfully, you were prepared with a streamlined answer. "That's three questions, genius," You say, reaching for his head to give it a light smack, from which earns you a groan. "Save your chances for better questions."

"What do you mean? It's a good one. What did you dream about? I want to know."

"Okayy~ Next question. Where is that..." You switch the topic hastily, hands occupied with finding the question you were waiting to ask him through your notes. "Found it. Did you like anyone before me? If so, who are they?"

"That's two questions, though?"

"Nope. Not if you put them together." You smile at him cheekily, and he throws his head back in astonishment, mouth wide open, spewing out breathy wow's.

"You're playing it dirty, I see. Well, I had two other girlfriends before you." He brings his pinky finger out. "One was my sixth-grade classmate, and the other one was my best friend from the rink." He shoots his mouth off to chaff at you yet again.

A stiff frown crawls on your face as you nod at him sarcastically. "Oh, wow. Impressive." You hum in wonderment, silence unfurling in the suddenly insipid room.

Sunghoon knew you weren't easily irritated by these circumstances. If he were talking to a random girl on the street, more often than not, you would only think of them as one of his fans from the arena, nothing more. Even if he had to accomplish things with a girl in his class, you trusted him very much with your relationship to doubt him in his actions. And so, seeing you hush after a talk like this...

Of course, he would take it as a chance to play with you.

"Aww, is my precious little y/n jealous?" His voice sharpened one octave higher as he pats your head with a pout and mock sadness in his eyes. "What do I do? I kissed them, too."

You were okay with him having two other ones before you, but at the mention of a kiss, your figure skews his way. You weren't sure if he was hoaxing you or not, but to say so honestly, it troubled you. This wasn't the intention you had with your question. All you wanted to get out of it was something to tease him about when he says he has none, yet it was still you who got ragged of your own query.

However, that's beside the point. Was it necessary to point out those last words? It wasn't you to be agitated over something as dispensable as this, but of all things, why did he have to attack your weakness?

Sunghoon's sounds of laughter tear you away from your thoughts. "Got 'em~" He pulls a finger at you in another fit of laughter, seeing you in a state of total shock.

"What the heck? It was a lie?" You pull away firmly from his body, hitting him on the shoulder with force enough to make him wobble on the bed.

"You fell for it." He provokes you, head bouncing up and down in silent titters, and you smack his hand away, leaning back down on his shoulder.

"No, I didn't," You feel him nod abut your head, seeing mentally what teasing expression he has plastered on his face this time, but you only shrug it off. "Which part was the lie, though? You kissing them or being with them?"

"Can't answer that. Save your chances for better questions, cutie."

"Touché," You scoff. "What's the next question?"

"Well, since we came to the topic of kissing... When was your first kiss?" He converts his stare to a peer of glistening fervour. Though not as subtle as he would have probably wished it to be, you could sense the perceptive intent he was hiding behind his tone.

You render motionless. Never did you tell him anything about your dreams, nor would you ever have plans to tell him. It's a product of your wildest imaginations to feed your untold desires. It's what helps restrain the ungodly in you, but it also fuels you with the need to see what it actually is like. It's a continuous internal war going on in you, its purpose being to stop you from creating trouble for yourself. And now that you finally have him here, not going to lie, it's kind of embarrassing to acknowledge the profuse amount of dreams you had of him, moreover that he stole your first kiss... Except it was in your dreams, literally.

"I never had any," You answer, trying to stay as cool as possible. "I'm a good child who listens well to her mother, so don't think no one tried to hit on me once. I turned a lot of them down." A small smile trudges its way onto his face, but the way his eyes were fixated on you remained untypically the same.

"I don't know if I should be happy that you picked me out of all of them or be sad for those 'poor hearts' you broke." He draws an air quote along with his words, and you shake your head at him. "Don't worry. I won't tease you on this one. I just wanted to know." He mumbles quietly through a simper, moving to rest his head on yours.

Hearing that he'll cut you some slack relieved you, but one thing about his utterance caught you off guard. "Why do you want to know that?"

"That's the only way I'll get to know you deeper, Einstein," He retracts his head and nudges you on his shoulder, causing you to bump your head against its edge, a grunt following you. However, while you were still in the midst of justifying the whack he did on your head, he spins his vision to you in an adventitious celebration. "Oh- that's your tenth question, then!"

"Wait, hold on!" You haul over to straighten your posture, the creaking of the bed barely audible from the loudness of your opposition.

"It's my turn again." His eyes grow invisible from his cheeks, pushing it up into a smile. He just never gets tired of making fun of you. How you wish you could do the same to him. If only punching someone straight in the face denotes no wrongdoing, you would have done that ages ago.

"Bitch, why did you answer that?" You call him, blaming him with the irritation that you weren't able to control yourself.

"You ask, I answer. Isn't that how it goes?" He grins at you matter-of-factly, and you tousle your hair around in frustration.

"Ugh, you're crazy," You send glares up his way. "Whatever. Your last question, throw."

As if that was a signal he has been waiting for, Sunghoon shuts his phone and tucks it in his pocket. "How does it feel to kiss someone?"

You were confused. You just said you've never kissed anyone before.

A dry giggle leaves your mouth after much processing. You knew you shouldn't have trusted his words. No matter what you do, he'll find the cracks and holes to slip in his every jest. "I think you got the wrong person, kid. How do you think I'd know?"

"Hmm..." He drones, the ticking sound of the clock suddenly increasing in volume with every minute passing by. "Should we try it, then?" He suggests.

"What?" You were taken aback, a sudden chill sweeping through your body like a surge of cool air gashing through the enclosed room. What is he going on about?

Inch by inch, you feel him gravitate towards you, your torso backing up from his inclining frame until the warmth you caused on the cold wall completely presses against your back. Like the fire of a gun's bullet on a steady path, your heartbeat raced in a trice. His eyes stared at yours, tracing down to your parted lips as he led his other hand across your body, trailing up your arms to your shoulders, just until it reaches your jaw. Your breath hitched, lips shutting tightly as you gulp down at the presence of his queer boldness.

It's like the scenarios you formed in your head where he pins you against the wall, lips hovering yours with soft breaths that tickle your skin. Him studying your face with obstinacy to make you his, doing whatever it is that would make you happy. Nevertheless, he made sure to be cautious of things you wouldn't want him to do. He still respected you.

He's doing just the same thing, and it's getting you set on thinking whether this is all a dream taking too long to reach its climax or if your dreams are miraculously made into reality. But his next set of words were enough to tell you the clarification to your uncertainties.

"Please don't be mad." Without warning, his lips found their place on your light, pillowy ones. It felt like he was pouring out all emotions he's been holding in until now. He always controlled himself whenever you're around because he didn't want to disappoint your mother. But with this instance is a chance to do something he has long been dreaming of. He wasn't about to lose it.

The way his head tilts to the side to get a more comfortable position, eyes closing and immersed in the pleasure of your lips against his, got you clasping onto your blanket to ease the havoc he's causing in your guts. You froze at the contact. As if time had halted and the world stopped spinning, everything seemed to slow down at that moment. Maybe it was the sweet scent of his bergamot fragrance. Maybe it was the tightening of his grip on your jaw, or perhaps the longing you had for him that's enticing you in this position.

It's not every day that we get to see our dreams come true, and for one, it's a matchless feeling, especially when the dream is worthwhile. Slowly, you give in and close your eyes in the warmth of his touch. His lips parted to bite at your lower lip, and you overtly open your mouth to let him in.

"Do you think you could answer it now?" He questions you, but you couldn't comprehend what he was saying. You were too caught up in your own feelings during the whole session; you almost forgot what happened before it was done. Just when you thought he’d stop pulling out all the hidden quirks of yours, he caught you once again. And it didn't take long enough before you recollected yourself.

"Right. It's way better than I could have ever imagined." You smile at him, giving rise to the same smile as you.

"If this is how it will usually end, maybe I should start gathering more questions for you." He proposes, his head wheeling over to you with sheer excitement.

"Uh-huh... Just make sure you don't catch anything from the streets before you come over." You reply with a cackle, getting off his lap and sitting back down on the soft mattress.

It was supposed to be a dull and boring day. But with another chance that you two meet comes another something to remember forever. And you can't help but grin from ear to ear.

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iamthenightcolormeblack · 3 years

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My Thoughts on Jane Eyre 2006: The Bird Breaks Free From its Cage

This is the last review I will do for Jane Eyre adaptations, as I decided to focus solely on the 3 most popular adaptations. I saved the 2006 BBC miniseries for last because it has become my favorite of the 3 adaptations and I was afraid I would not be able to fairly evaluate the other adaptations (but I won't pretend not to be biased, since reviews are arguments for our opinion).

The miniseries consists of 4 approximately hour long episodes, and stars Ruth Wilson as Jane Eyre and Toby Stephens as Edward Fairfax Rochester.

When I first read about this version, I thought it would be awful, since a lot of purists complained about the modernized dialogue and the emphasis on sexual passion. As I am a bit of a purist myself, I did have some prejudice against this version (I am one of those people who will talk to the TV and say "Nope, this didn't happen in the book"). Oh no, I thought, will they chop up the dialogue and disembowel it into simple sentences/paraphrases stolen from SparkNotes No Fear editions, with the characters yelling at each other for increased drama? Will there be bad creative additions that undercut the meaning or richness of the story?

Reader, I was wrong. This adaptation is so good that it pleased this book freak. When I was writing this review, I was referring back to the book and I discovered that this adaptation is surprisingly faithful to the source material, so I have included quotes from the book as well. Without further ado, let's delve into it!

Reasons to watch this miniseries:

1. GREAT ACTING. I put this first because none of the other things listed below (character development, storytelling) would be possible if the acting was terrible.

Ruth Wilson is the best Jane Eyre because she is passionate, outspoken, and energetic. She also has the piercing gaze and the plain, yet unusual features that catch Rochester's eye. Many Jane actresses are too restrained and often end up becoming walking porcelain dolls. Ruth Wilson gets the balance between restraint and emotion right because she conveys much of her emotions through her eyes, from pain, to happiness, to anger, while acting prim and proper. Though she does talk honestly to Rochester, she still keeps her head down, in recognition of his authority over her, and doesn't often turn to face him until she gets more confident. While some think her portrayal is too emotional, the book makes clear that Jane gets into trouble because of her passionate nature, and she is often compared to fire, like Rochester. I also like how emphatically she delivers Jane's speeches, with force and conviction, emphasizing her place as Rochester's equal.

As for Toby Stephens, I was a little skeptical at first because I thought he was too lighthearted, as his Rochester often laughs or cracks jokes with Jane. But after watching the show, I think his Rochester is second only to Timothy Dalton's. While one can argue he's definitely too pretty for the role, the costume designer and makeup/hair artist did try to make him "ugly" -- the shoulder-length hair and outfits emphasize his broad shoulders and short stature, making him resemble a hunchback. But most importantly, Stephens is able to convey almost all of the character traits of Rochester, like his intelligence, sarcasm, deceitfulness, charm, moral ambiguity, and emotional baggage. What makes him stand out is that his Rochester is more vulnerable. When alluding to his painful past he becomes visibly traumatized and changes from his chatty, talkative self to silent and grave. This Rochester is also whiny at times and is easily provoked into anger, in keeping with the character's mood swings. My only minor quibble is that his manner is sometimes too relaxed, which is at odds with the book's description of Rochester as imperious. I like Stephens' comments on the character, where he mentions that Rochester is theatrical and never stops talking, contrary to the popular perception of Rochester as silent and brooding.

2. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. I like how the miniseries uses little details to show Jane and Rochester growing and changing over the course of the story.

In the book and miniseries, Jane becomes prettier as she falls in love with Rochester. The miniseries has many shots of Jane looking at herself in her mirror, starting with her first meeting with Rochester, where she finds herself ugly. As her self-confidence grows due to her blossoming relationship with Rochester, the audience sees Jane become more beautiful; her cheeks become rosy and she appears a little less pale and unhappy. These little private moments of Jane in her bedroom reveal her passionate nature, which she keeps hidden from the outside world. Over the course of the miniseries, Jane becomes more passionate and outspoken; she even gives St. John a big hug after finding out that he is her cousin.

The meaning of freedom to Jane changes as she grows. During her childhood years, Jane defines freedom as an escape from her tormentors. When Jane gets older and learns from Helen to forgive others, freedom to her means expanding her horizons and seeing more of the world, which motivates her to leave Lowood. After falling in love with Rochester, Jane experiences mental/emotional freedom, since she can express herself honestly. In fact Jane's journey to freedom in the book resembles Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, with Jane achieving self-actualization in the end. I like how this adaptation shows how Jane's idea of freedom changes as she develops over the course of the story. When I first read the book, I was confused about why she decided to return to Rochester, if she wanted to be "free." But freedom to Jane does not mean the absence of obligations to others; in fact Jane derives much of her happiness through her relationships to others. If we follow the Hierarchy of Needs, in order for a person to self-actualize, they need to fulfill their needs for love/belonging and esteem (self-confidence). Jane's true freedom comes when she can be herself, and I like how the adaptation emphasizes the importance of Jane's relationships to her personal growth. Other adaptations define freedom as Jane's "not being trampled upon" and don't show how her idea of freedom changes over time.

Both of the first 2 scenes with Rochester are brief and make him more mysterious; the audience does not get to know him until the second conversation, around the same time that Jane starts to take an interest in him. When the audience first meets Rochester after he falls off his horse, he is much meaner to Jane than in the book, telling her to get away from him until he needs her help. In their first conversation, he sits in darkness and the dim lighting makes him look unflattering. After the first conversation, he starts to break the ice with Jane. He wears lighter colored clothing (brown and green) and start to smile more, showing that Jane has drawn him out, much like he has drawn her out.

Rochester's sinful past with his mistresses is emphasized multiple times throughout the miniseries, in keeping with the morally gray nature of the character. I like how the series uses Rochester's past to show that his central flaw is his inability/unwillingness to reform himself. He keeps running away from his past through the pursuit of material wealth (even gambling, in this version) and sexual satisfaction, and though he knows his path is sinful and does not bring him the emotional fulfillment he seeks, he still continues along it, and acknowledges in the second conversation that he is responsible for his current sins. Until Jane comes into his life, he has no incentive to change his ways, and even resorts to manipulation/deceit because he does not want to lose her, since he thinks she will redeem him (but she refuses to play that assigned role). The miniseries, like the book, uses the idea of redemption from sin for Rochester's character development.

There is frequent emphasis on Jane and Rochester being friends as well as lovers. In the book, Jane expresses how her relationship with her employer is more like that of friends, since they have gotten to know each other over many months through regular interactions. I like how Jane and Rochester, over the course of many conversations, get to know each other. Before proposing to Jane, Rochester asks her: "We've been good friends, haven't we, Jane?" Some of the creative additions to the script have Jane express how she feels about her relationship with Rochester: "I have a friend. He knows what I'm thinking and perfectly understands me" -- echoing Jane's assertion to the reader that she and Rochester are mentally assimilated.

3. THE CHEMISTRY. The miniseries increases the romantic tension by making it more clear that Rochester loves Jane. In addition, the nonverbal cues (averted eyes, hand touch, physical proximity) intensify the emotions. The tension builds up to the proposal scene, which becomes more powerful as it is the culmination of all the repressed feelings lurking beneath the surface. I also like how the miniseries emphasizes that Jane and Rochester are soulmates and compares them to twins. While some have argued that the miniseries takes the sexual innuendo too far, the book was revolutionary in part because Jane was allowed to have sexual desire. For example, the book makes it clear that Jane finds Rochester physically attractive because of his "athletic strength," and she recognizes him even when he is crippled because of his muscular stature. She also likes what she calls his "manly energy" and in her dreams of him, she fantasizes about being in his arms and touching him. When Mrs. Fairfax brings attention to Jane and Rochester's significant age difference, Jane tells her that "he is nothing like my father! No one, who saw us together, would suppose it for an instant." After Jane leaves Rochester, she gains confidence because she recognizes that she is an object of sexual desire for Rochester, in contrast with her earlier perception that she is "poor, obscure, plain, and little."

Now for my favorite scenes from the miniseries:

The second conversation between Jane and Rochester: although it doesn't use much dialogue from the book apart from the "do you think me handsome" question, we see Rochester draw Jane out without him stating that as his intention. The scene begins in the Thornfield library, where Jane has been reading. She stands at attention like a servant as soon as he enters the room, and he immediately attempts to put her at her ease and treats her like an equal by calling her a "thinking, intelligent, woman" and letting her sit across from him. He draws her out when he teases her and gets her to smile. The theme of social inequality comes up when Rochester emphasizes that his wealth makes him attractive. Interestingly, he also comes close to telling Jane about his sinful past; he alludes to a great mistake in his past, leading to a life of sin, and admits that though the mistake was not his fault, he knows it was wrong to sin. He shows some hint of his inner turmoil, but then lapses back to his teasing manner and admonishes Jane not to find out more about him, for she might find him truly despicable -- "and then where would we be?" After popping the question of his good looks and receiving the answer that he's ugly, he smiles rather slyly, and we are enchanted with Rochester, much like Jane is.

The third conversation between Jane and Rochester. The bird in a cage imagery is expanded upon when Rochester refers to it as gray with specks of red, showing that Rochester recognizes Jane's passionate nature; the red hidden in a cloak of gray. I like how the metaphorical bird is dubbed a "fire-bird," connecting the bird imagery with another symbol for passion. The color imagery linked to the metaphorical bird is also alluded to in Jane's costume; she starts to wear a red neckerchief along with other pink/red shawls along with her typical gray dress, showing that Rochester has awakened her repressed emotions. I also like that Rochester is interested in biology; in the book he is fascinated with the insects and plants in Thornfield's garden, and giving him an interest in living things makes him more than "mean, moody, and broody." Adele's added lines, which aren't in the original book, are also significant: "I do not like the English water beetles. They are not beautiful like the ones in the books." These lines fit Adele's character, as she is mainly concerned with external beauty and luxury items. They also allude to the societal worship of outward appearances, which the novel challenges by showing that "beauty is of little consequence." I also like how Rochester responds to Adele with the bird in a cage metaphor, and how Adele is clueless as to his exact meaning, revealing how she and many others cannot look beneath the surface to find true beauty.

The Celine Varens story. I like how the miniseries utilizes a flashback to a richly decorated hotel room to link material luxury to sin. I also like how Rochester adds that Celine was attracted to him due to his wealth, connecting back to his assertion that wealth makes him handsome. Finally, when he casually tells Jane that he kicked Celine out and shot the lover she was cheating with, it shows Rochester's dark side in that he has no qualms about taking revenge on people who don't give him what he wants.

The fire scene. I like the added line, "We agreed that you'd never be cold again." It's the first hint that Rochester genuinely cares about Jane, and along with the almost-kiss it indicates that these two will be more than just friends. What's even better is this added scene in Jane's bedroom when she is by herself; she sits in her bed and clasps the hand he held, kissing it.

The Jane vs Blanche drawings. It's interesting to me that few other adaptations include this scene, since it's important in establishing Blanche as a romantic rival to Jane, as well as her foil, since they are very different from each other--Blanche is rich, uncaring, and proud, while Jane is poor, caring, and humble. It also furthers Jane's character development, since her need to remind herself of her plain looks is her way of coping with the pain caused by what she feels is her unrequited and socially impossible love for Rochester.

The money scene, where Jane must ask Rochester for permission to see her dying aunt at Gateshead Hall. It's a great scene in developing romantic tension because Rochester is visibly unhappy to see Jane leave him, and the miniseries makes his concern for her even more explicit than in the book--he even tells her not to go. Here, Rochester reminds Jane that her aunt has not showed any concern for her in the 8 years since she left Gateshead. He also tries to give her more money than she needs and impulsively tries to take some of it back at which she refuses; most importantly, they tease each other. The romantic tension rises when he begs her not to leave, and her eyes express her pain at having to leave him and not having a chance to be with him.

Visiting Gateshead. I like how the miniseries has Jane confess to Bessie how important Rochester is to Jane as a friend (not in the book), since visiting the site of her unhappy childhood allows Jane to make peace with the past and look forward to her future at Thornfield. I also like the added scene of her and Rochester after she returns, where she tells him about how she does not admire her cousins since one (Georgiana Reed) is too emotional and the other (Eliza Reed) lacks any empathy. It's great the miniseries included the contrasting cousins because it is part of Jane's struggle between passion and reason, personified by Georgiana and Eliza. I think Eliza, with her strict schedule and rigid religious rites, represents what Jane would have become if she had stayed at Lowood, while Georgiana represents the excesses of the wealthy, as she is easily bored and lives only for social events. Jane is critical of both, as she feels Georgiana is lazy and Eliza is imprisoning herself, signaling that she wants to find a balance between reason and passion. I like that this turns into an added conversation with Rochester, as it shows how much she trusts and esteems him.

THE PROPOSAL. One of the highlights of this miniseries. Jane cannot restrain herself any longer, as she is about to leave Thornfield and Rochester forever due to his future marriage to Blanche Ingram. She and Rochester are alone together and he starts confessing his feelings to her, but hurts her when implying that she'll forget him, stirring her to deliver her famous speech affirming her humanity. Ruth Wilson is at the peak of her powers here; she conveys Jane's despair, righteous indignation, passion, and happiness when accepting Rochester's hand in marriage. It just makes my heart so happy to see the two of them finally admit their feelings for one another after all the beating around the bush!!! The lightning striking the tree they were under is also included, important foreshadowing that the couple will be doomed.

SHOPPING IN MILLCOTE. Another highlight of the miniseries. It's such a cute moment where Rochester takes Jane shopping and gives her probably the first gifts she has ever gotten in her life. The best part is when she slaps Rochester's hand back (prim and proper until marriage) and keeps her distance from him by placing Adele between the two of them. Here's the passage where she slaps his hand back: "I crushed his hand, which was ever hunting mine, vigorously, and thrust it back to him red with the passionate pressure."

Jane's dreams. I like how they include the dream where she is carrying a baby and is locked out of Rochester's house, with what looks like Blanche staring coldly at her. It foreshadows Rochester's little secret, as Jane believed that Blanche would become Rochester's wife. To me, the dream is a foreshadowing of her later fear of becoming another of Rochester's mistresses, cast away when she falls out of his favor.

The failed wedding. Rochester has this fierce look on his face during the ceremony until he is interrupted (really just wants it done and over with so he bed her and not worry about his little secret). Great acting here as we see Rochester's emotions get the better of him; he is hijacked by his anger and sadness and becomes violent when he assaults Mason in the chapel for ruining his chance of happiness with Jane.

The secret revealed (Bertha Rochester's appearance). This adaptation humanizes Bertha by showing her in clean clothing with neat hair; until we see the crazed look in the actress' eyes, it's hard to believe that she is mentally ill or dangerously violent. In the book, she is a dirty, raving animal who is characterized by her grotesqueness and physical strength. It's interesting how the space she is imprisoned in has red wallpaper, resembling the Red Room that Jane was locked in. The flashbacks to Rochester's unhappy marriage to Bertha imply that she represents the destructiveness of uncontrolled sexual appetites; in this adaptation her primary sin seems to be her loose sexual behavior. She is the symbol of Rochester's unquenchable desire; the script emphasizes that Rochester was attracted to her because she was tall, dark-haired, and beautiful. Her inherited madness causes her to become destructive, and Rochester locks her up to keep himself safe (and the imprisonment creates a vicious cycle whereby the isolation makes her even crazier) representing the consequences of Rochester's sin: keeping secrets and running away from his problems.

Bertha on the roof after burning Thornfield. We see her look up at the sky, a childlike curiosity in her eyes while she briefly enjoys her newfound freedom. When she jumps to her death, she believes she is flying like a bird. I like how this humanizes Bertha; we still pity her even though we know she's dangerous due to her violent behavior.

The ending--it's absolutely perfect. I liked the added line where Rochester yells at the servants for candles and receives no reply back, showing how he has lost his power since becoming crippled (though he still gets to keep his left hand). It's bittersweet seeing Jane and Rochester reunited after all the trials they have gone through, and the actors perfectly convey these emotions, with Rochester's happy tears and Jane's sheer joy at being with him again. Most importantly the two tease each other, in keeping with Jane's intention in the book to cure Rochester's depression in that way. I like the little scene where she jokingly calls him hideous and they laugh together; it calls to mind this passage from the book, in yet another example of how a picture/film is worth a thousand words: "There was no harassing restraint, no repressing of glee and vivacity with him; for with him I was at perfect ease, because I knew I suited him...Blind as he was, smiles played over his face..." We also get to see Jane make Rochester jealous, in a reversal of the power dynamics, when she leaves him on a cliffhanger and doesn't answer his questions about where she has been immediately. The repartee about St. John is absolutely perfect (although I don't know why St. John is heading to Africa instead of India) as Jane leaves Rochester to pout, uncertain of whether she will return his love until she kisses him (and they start making out). The family portrait at the end perfectly sums up the final chapter, where Jane talks a lot about how happy she is because of her family. I like how she has a different, looser hairstyle along with a white dress at the end, visually signaling that she has found the freedom to be herself because her family, including Rochester, loves and accepts her just the way she is.

4. CREATIVE ADDITIONS AS A MEANS OF THEME DEVELOPMENT

I've learned over the years that adaptations of books are never 100% faithful to the book; whether that's a good or bad thing is up to you. As much as I like to see my favorite scenes in books accurately recreated on screen, I've realized after watching many of the "most faithful" adaptations of books that they get boring because they are too focused on replicating every detail within the book instead of developing characters, themes, or plot points.

Here's where I diverge from most purists--as much as I like faithfulness to the source material, "a picture is worth a thousand words" and the best adaptations should show rather than tell. Since film and books are different mediums, creative changes are inevitable in translating a book into a film. In fact, I welcome creative changes as long as they enhance what is already in the story. The best adaptations use creative filming techniques/additions to tell the story effectively, develop characters, or foreshadow future events.

Creative additions (my term for creative changes because it allows for the possibility of them being a good rather than bad thing) can enhance a story by digging beneath the surface to find otherwise hidden meaning/ideas/messages. In other words, they bring out what is hiding “between the lines” of a book—it’s in plain sight but a reader may not catch it unless they have special tools or skills like historical/literary context and analysis, or are deeply familiar with a book after reading it several times. How well creative additions are executed reflects the scriptwriters’/director’s/actor’s knowledge and respect for the source material. Great creative additions not only simplify elements of the story, they should ultimately ADD TO OUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE STORY AS A WHOLE.

Where creative additions go wrong is when they condense too much, change character personalities or plot points or over-simplify the language of the book assuming that the audience is dumb and can’t grasp the main ideas or context of a book unless the dialogue is in 21st century texting language. To people who make adaptations of books: be careful what you simplify because the majority of your audience will likely be people who have read the book and they will judge you very harshly if you insult their intelligence.

Another reason I watch adaptations is to see an alternate interpretation of my favorite works and contribute to my understanding of the works adapted. The most memorable adaptations are the ones that attempt to contribute something new to our understanding of the work while considering the author's intent and retaining important literary elements such as plot, themes, symbols, motifs, and character development so that the story is still recognizable.

This is why we want book adaptations, even if it's difficult to satisfy readers—they simplify narrative elements such as plot and setting so that it’s easy to follow the story even if you haven’t read the book/don't remember every plot point.

This adaptation of Jane Eyre contains many great examples of creative additions done right:

Jane's escape book. The beginning of this miniseries shows Jane in red wandering through a desert as she reads her “escape book.” This reflects how she spends her unhappy childhood reading as a form of escape. It is a great symbol of her desire for freedom, which has begun at an early age, much like in the book where she sees John Reed as a representative of historical tyrants/the Patriarchy. When she adds the book to Rochester’s library, it also harks back to Jane’s view of Thornfield as her home, and she figuratively claims ownership of the library by adding her escape book to the collection.

The 2 different family portraits. These portraits prove that “a picture is worth a thousand words.” The first family portrait is of the Reeds, and Jane’s exclusion from the portrait represents her exclusion from the family as a whole and the denial of the love she needs to flourish as a person. I also like how the family dresses up in costumes for the portrait, signaling that the portrait doesn’t represent their true selves; it is only meant to be a projection of power and wealth. The stiff, formal gestures the family makes when sitting for the portrait and its artifice (the fake laurel wreathe and fancy costumes) is an affront to Jane’s values. By contrast, the second portrait is an affirmation of familial love as Jane includes everyone in her “family,” even the servants. They don't dress up or pose in a formal way; everyone laughs and talks to each other while the portrait is completed. Both portraits convey the importance of family to Jane as a source of love and support.

The flashbacks to Rochester's past. These scenes feature Rochester's hedonism and we get a better understanding of his sins, building up to the flashback of his marriage to Bertha. Most importantly, the vivid imagery of the flashbacks allow us to see why Rochester is so haunted by his past, as he cannot get away from it.

The musical motif that accompanies the flashbacks and the scenes with Bertha. It even gets turned into a French song Adele sings, emphasizing how Rochester cannot escape his past.

The shots of Jane and Rochester from Bertha's perspective. We see them as small figures behind a grated window, and this creates an ominous feeling and foreshadows Bertha's presence.

The literal red flag. This red scarf marks where Bertha is imprisoned and serves as a warning that Rochester is hiding something. It's one of the great uses of the color red in this adaptation to represent passion and the danger of succumbing to it.

"Bad blood" -- I like this added dialogue from Lady Ingram about "bad blood" dooming people to lower social classes; it works well with the social criticism within the book. I also like Jane's flashback of Mrs. Reed telling Jane she has bad blood, effectively linking Lady Ingram to Mrs. Reed (a comparison which Jane actually makes in the book).

Creative additions I didn't like (because not every creative change works):

In the first conversation, when Rochester examines Jane's drawings, the script replaces "these drawings are peculiar for a schoolgirl" with "These are interesting." This is an instance where I wish the scriptwriters would have stuck with the original dialogue ("these drawings are peculiar for a schoolgirl"), because it reveals so much more than the general, surface-level comment "these are interesting." In the original line, Rochester recognizes that Jane is unique; the drawings spark his interest in her personality and it shows that he and Jane become friends because he is one of the few people able to recognize Jane as a "free human being with an independent will."

The charades the guests play are replaced with an Ouija board game: in the book, Rochester plays charades by dressing up as a groom, with Blanche as his bride; he ends up in chains sitting next to a well (illustrating Bridewell Prison). SparkNotes argues that the charade represents Rochester's marriage to Bertha, so it doesn't make sense that this isn't included in the show as a foreshadowing of Rochester's little secret. For me, it is a missed opportunity for increasing the drama; it would have increased Jane's suffering to see Blanche paraded as Rochester's bride, while hinting that the courtship is a farce, much like charades are a game of deception.

Rochester hiring a gypsy instead of dressing up as the gypsy. It would have been a great opportunity for Stephens to show off what he called the "theatrical" side of Mr. Rochester, and what he predicts about Jane's personality as the gypsy (that she need not "sell her soul" to find happiness) reveal his intelligence and ability to look beyond Jane's facade of plainness. But apart from this change, the scene still achieves its purpose of showing how Rochester enjoys manipulating others, while raising the question of whether he can be redeemed and showing that his reliance on Jane is increasing.

5. THE CONTROVERSIAL "BEDROOM" SCENE (that scene which launched a thousand Jane Eyre fan-fiction stories)

This scene replaced the "farewell scene" where Jane struggles between her desire to stay with Rochester and her need to leave him as a preservation of her self-worth. Jane and Rochester are together in her bedroom (the sexual connotations are obvious) and he kisses and caresses her (while on top of her) in order to convince her not to leave him. Many purists disliked this scene because it de-emphasized Jane's strong will in refusing the temptation of becoming Rochester's mistress while increasing the sexual tension solely for entertainment. I agree with the purists about Jane's moral strength being ignored, but objectively, it is a brilliant scene because of the dialogue, as well as the pain and despair Jane and Rochester feel because they cannot be together; it does more than make the ladies swoon.

The scene starts with Rochester telling Jane how lonely he has been without Jane; how he "waited for [his] little bird to return" to him. They give in to their passion and we are treated to one of the sexiest non-sex scenes ever (period dramas are really good at sexual hand touching).

Rochester tells Jane she can't leave him because they are tied together as soulmates, foreshadowing Jane returning to him when she hears his voice. Flash forward to the present, where Jane cries in despair due to her loneliness. I like this flash forward because it alludes to Jane's despair upon waking up alone after dreaming of being with Rochester.

She then falls back asleep again and we are presented with the rest of the bedroom scene; Rochester is still on top of her and Jane wants to leave him, at which he desperately kisses her (and that's where I got grossed out, thinking to myself, "Okay, let's move on, I get this"). Luckily he gets off of her (thank god!) but the dialogue here is so good: he mentions the "villa in the Mediterranean" and how they could live together in a chaste manner "like brother and sister."

I was surprised to find that the "villa in the Mediterranean" was ACTUALLY IN THE BOOK; in the farewell scene, Rochester proposes to Jane that she live there. It also becomes a symbol of sin because it is a place where anything can happen. The "villa in the Mediterranean" is a great example of the vivid imagery of the book, along with the caged bird, and I like how the screenwriter paid attention to the imagery as a representation of the sexual attraction Jane feels towards Rochester but cannot express. The "brother and sister" creative addition is also great because it shows Rochester's hypocrisy; he claims he "wouldn't tempt [Jane] to a life of sin," a direct contradiction of what he was doing earlier. With the added sexual drama, the bedroom scene makes clear that Jane risks her moral integrity if she stays with Rochester.

However, as brilliant as the dialogue is, I would have preferred that bedroom scene be presented as another dream sequence, because Jane would not have let Rochester touch her in this way, and the scene does not emphasize Jane's moral strength enough, only that she is (barely) able to resist Rochester. While I like this scene, it shouldn't have replaced the farewell scene. The farewell scene is important in foreshadowing the changed power dynamics between the two, as it is the first time Rochester loses control over Jane and succumbs to his emotions, while Jane remains steadfast in her resolution to leave Thornfield and follow her morals.

6. MAJOR FLAWS (because not every adaptation is perfect):

The miniseries makes escaping Lowood Jane's primary goal. While Jane does suffer at the school due to its spartan conditions and is wrongly shamed by Brocklehurst for being a liar, she is grateful to be at Lowood, since it allows her to leave Gateshead, away from her unloving aunt and abusive John Reed. It presents an opportunity for her to become independent since she uses her education to support herself, and she does find friends there.

Helen Burns is a nonentity. Helen doesn't get to express her religious views until her death scene and she exists only to tell Jane to advertise so she can escape Lowood. This relationship is important to Jane because she learns that loving others is better than nursing grievances, which is why she later cares so much about her adopted family (Rochester and the servants as well as her cousins). It's a missed opportunity for further character development of Jane, because Jane finds freedom through self-actualization.

St. John's proposal is rushed. Here, St. John only gets a few lines of his proposal in, and the famous line of Jane being "made for labor and not for love" is cut. We also don't see Jane struggle over St. John's proposal, as in this version she has already made up her mind not to marry him. When she hears Rochester's voice calling for her, she is by herself in the woods, unlike in the book where she is about to agree to marry St. John when she hears Rochester's voice. Once again, this is another missed opportunity for Jane's character development, as it is part of her struggle between passion and reason. In the miniseries, Diana and Mary Rivers both preach about the importance of love as "the 11th commandment," and Jane confronts St. John about his love for Rosamond Oliver. If the scriptwriters had included more of the proposal, it would have further developed the theme of passion versus reason and created an additional test for Jane to see if she would follow "the 11th commandment."

7. CONCLUSION (congrats you've reached the end!):

This miniseries definitely deserves its place among the best Jane Eyre adaptations, and I was really tempted to claim that this one is the best. Though it makes a lot of creative changes, or additions, as I call them, the creative changes are effective at translating the literary elements of the book onto film while keeping the audience entertained.

While this adaptation is known for being lighthearted, it also has some suspenseful moments, as the night scenes are shot in complete darkness and there is still a sense that something is not quite right with Thornfield.

However, I still don't think this is the definitive Jane Eyre adaptation, although it is near-perfect. Because the adaptation focuses mainly on the Jane and Rochester relationship, the other parts of the story are not as developed. While the script is effective in adapting the novel, it could have incorporated more of the original dialogue from the book. Although I approve of most of the creative choices made, as I've said earlier, not all of them work.

Overall, I'm really glad that I discovered this wonderful period drama thanks to my Jane Eyre re-read, and I still highly recommend it for Jane Eyre fans, classic literature fans, and people who haven't read the book.

On a side note, thank you for reading my Jane Eyre adaptation reviews! I wrote them because I don't have people to talk about literature with and I've been watching these adaptations (as well as reading the book) like crazy to get over the trauma of virtual school. It's been great reading all your replies, keep them coming. Stay tuned for my Pride and Prejudice adaptation reviews (release date TBD).

@dahlia-coccinea @princesssarisa @appleinducedsleep @bananasinny @periodfilmsanddrama @obscurelittlebird @ardenmarch @oceanssapart @the-viking-goddess @patroclusdefencesquad @colonelfitzwilliams @auralaesthetics @linebetween @philippaofhainault @notherealjaneyre

#jane eyre #mr rochester #book adaptation #charlotte bronte #jane eyre 2006 #jane eyre 2011 #jane eyre movie #toby stephens #ruth wilson #romantic film #movie review #review #tv show review #period drama

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free--therapy · 2 years

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6 TIPS-HOW NOT TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

By Rebeah Bailey | December 16, 2020

"Everything in life is easier when you don’t concern yourself with what everybody else is doing.”

Can you imagine what life would be like if we didn’t compare our-self to each other? I think everyone would be happier and a lot more true to themselves. Are you living an authentic life? Or are you comparing yourself to others and being influenced?

I am coming at you with a few thought-provoking questions hey

I have honestly spent enough time comparing myself to other peoples progress in life other people health. Sometimes I don’t even realize that I am doing It.

Sometimes we unknowing compare our-self to others. You may say things like I eat less then she does, but I weigh more. She is 25 and earns more money than me.

Social media does not help with this issue, and When I watch YouTube sometimes, I am taken back by the titles.

Titles such as:

I bought my first house at 19 (lol) Made my first million by 17. The title that sucked me this week was learnt Italian in 7 days, guys I have been trying to learn Italian for years, plus I live in Italy. How do you think it made me feel?

When I investigated the video and watched reviews on it, it turns out that the person who made the video could already speak multiple languages and already had an Italian foundation. Let’s put that aside. I just wasted my time researching a stranger, and I also made my self feel bad about not being able to speak the language.

The best thing to do is train yourself not to compare yourself to others and if you do because we are all human, know when to nip it in the bud. Make a mantra /or memorize one of the quotes that I have written below and repeat it to yourself.

Every time I find myself comparing myself to others, I have to remind myself that I am unique and one of a kind. We are not the same people, and we are all on unique paths.

Please do not be fooled by Instagram. It shows the majority of people at their best. The reality is we do not know what goes on behind the scenes. I am guilty of posting the highlights of my life over on Instagram. Go over and take a look.

I try to mix it in with real-life events when I use stories. I will do a story makeup-free. I will show people that I have lazy days, too; I binge-watch Netflix all day and stuff my face.

People have told me their preconceived ideas of me before actually getting to know me in the past. I had to laugh they somehow thought I have this whole life thing figured out ( little do they know, haha)

In some cases, it can be motivating and inspiring to compare yourself to others, but I think in most cases the comparison can lead to something negative like:

Spending more money than you have to buy things that you can not afford to keep up with others.

Feeling worthless because you don’t have what they have.

It can leave you feeling unfilled no matter what you have.

To put it simply, comparing yourself to others, is just a waste of time.

The facts are there is always going to be someone prettier, slimmer, richer and someone who seems to achieve things quicker /easier than you.

Rather than comparing yourself to them, use them as motivation to push yourself to achieve your dream.

Here are some of the ways you can stop comparing yourself to others.

1. Take a break from social media. You will be amazed at how good you feel after.

2. Change your feed on social media feed; unfollow people showing off or constantly selling a product to you.

3. Build your confidence- if you are constantly comparing yourself to others and it is leaving you feeling very negative about yourself, it could be down to a lack of confidence

Build your confidence by reading self-help books, and you can purchase them on Amazon; here are a few suggestions :

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Brave New Girl: Seven Steps to Confidence

The Self Confidence Workbook: A Guide to Overcoming Self-Doubt and Improving Self-Esteem

4. Sort your finances out. You will be surprised how much of a difference it will make. Having a lack of money seems to make everything feel worse. It can leave you feeling powerless.

5. Try to be positive and happy with your current situation, own it and move forward.

6. Remove the idea that people are perfect, nobody is perfect!

Let us talk about how you can meet your goal in life

Think about your dream life.

Sit down for a minute and think about what you actually what from your life? What goals would you like to achieve?

Answer these questions :

What do you need to do to reach your goal?

Do you need to find a job?

Do you need to change jobs?

Do you need to go and study?

Do you need to stop watching TV?

Do you need to pay off a loan?

Do you need to speak with your manager?

Why do you want this?

What stopped you from doing this in the past?

What is your motivation to do it now?

Below I have written out a few quotes for you to read, save /pin them or write them down to remind yourself how great you are.

Remember that you are not lacking in anything, you are enough right now!

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innuendostudios · 3 years

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Thoughts on... some funny games

[no spoilers to speak of]

Thoughts on Lair of the Clockwork God

The wisdom of the gaming cognoscenti insists that comedy is hard to do in video games. Having grown up with Monkey Island and Zork, I've never found this convincing. But one true thing is this: it's hard to write about comedic games. The ineffability of humor is hard enough to describe in less-interactive media; I can't even explain to my partner why Gretchen saying "I met January Jones once!" on You're the Worst busted me up, and they were sitting right next to me when she said it. Throw in the "you had to be there" nature of the player's active participation and I lose myself in a cornfield. The thing I found hilarious might come a beat to early for you, or not at all, or not be funny in text like it is in gameplay.

Why did I like Lair of the Clockwork God? It made me laugh.

The premise and particulars are a lot of "that could go either way." Ben and Dan - stars of Ben There, Dan That and Time Gentleman, Please! - have returned. Ben is still an adventure game star, but Dan has adopted platforming mechanics in an attempt to get with the times. So playing the game involves switching back and forth between a character who can leap across canyons but can't pick up items or talk to people, and one who can combine inventory but can't climb over a 3-pixel rock.

Does that sound potentially funny? Potentially grating? Yes to both!

The plot centers around our heroes trying to save the world from several simultaneous apocalypses and having to teach human emotions to a supercomputer in order to do so. (Don't ask.) These means, rather like Ben There, Dan That, traipsing through a number of fantasy worlds (read: computer simulations) until the correct emotion is provoked. This requires cross-genre cooperation: finding ways to get Ben to areas only Dan can access, getting Dan new power ups by combining objects in Ben's inventory (an act Dan insists on calling "crafting").

The best bits are at these intersections, when Dan's platforming is the puzzliest and Ben's puzzles take advantage of Dan's skills. Periodically the game gives you a Dan-centric platforming gauntlet the controls are NOT precise nor pleasant enough for, or a Ben-only moon logic puzzle that leaves you googling the walkthrough.

But I liked it! A lot. The genre-hopping seems to have invigorated the developers, Ben Ward and Dan Marshall. I discussed my favorite joke in Ben There, Dan That (in what is probably the least popular video I've ever made that wasn't asking for money), but was also dismayed that the game was never that clever again. But this one is, several times over! Progression here involves cheating your way to a better respawn zone, goofing around in game menus, exploiting "glitches," exiting out and loading up entirely other games. There is a lot of poking and prodding at what a game of this nature can or should be.

But, honestly? The only real selling point is... it was funny. The humor is as anarchic and metatextual as in previous titles, but it feels good-natured in a way BT,DT didn't. And there are, here and there, little bits of meat on its bones - the characters wondering if, as a couple thirtysomething white guys, the world hasn't left them behind, no longer comfortable with the juvenile humor of their youth but not really understanding the youth of today, but having not yet fully escaped the mentalities they used to hold. (There's an unspoken humor to Dan's idea of "modern" gameplay being 2D platforming mechanics, especially at a time when adventure games are significantly more popular than on his last outing; this is a good joke whether or not it's intentional.)

Also: this game contains the most poignant urinating-on-a-grave puzzle in gaming history, and you may quote me on that.

Having finished it months ago, I can't even remember what all the gags were that tickled me at the time. Comedy fades from memory faster than drama or frustration. Mostly I just remember having a good time.

Thoughts on The Darkside Detective

Here's a hook: sometime after the mayhem ends in Ghostbusters, The Exorcist, Evil Dead 2, or some other paranormal blockbuster that you watched over and over in the 90's until the VHS wore out, some overworked detective has to come into your town and piece together what the hell happened.

This is his story.

It's a good gag, and the devs wring every drop from it. Existing in a world where these things are commonplace and you have to fit them into some notion of "police procedure" is just funny. Like, it's one thing to have a running gag where you keep observing the moon in outdoor scenes, commenting, with increasing hostility, that its behavior is suspicious (it has been present at multiple crime scenes); it's a slightly different thing when, given the things you've encountered, the moon being the Big Bad is actually somewhat possible.

The game is divided into six main cases and three bonus DLC missions (which come included in the base game now, and the third of which is the proper ending/setup for the sequel). You are the cop tasked to deal with The Other Side - and, when The Other Side bleeds into our own world, its cops have to deal with you. You have a sidekick with a mental maturity of about 6, which I guess makes you the straight man. (You have to grade on a curve to find a straight man in this game.) And you solve tasks like rounding up escaped gremlins or finding an AWOL lake monster all juxtaposed with mundane problems like inter-office squabbles and having not bought your Christmas presents early enough. It's (pleasantly) lo-res and sparsely isolated, so the dialogue and premise do most of the work, but they are ably up to the task.

The gameplay... not so much. I'm an adventure game lifer, so I can put up with a lot of nonsense. It's mostly straightforward inventory puzzles and occasional minigames. Most of the puzzles are fine enough. As the cases progress, things get more involved, and the DLCs especially involve some awful moon logic. And the minigames are not above using that same jumping peg puzzle you've solved in a dozen other games already. So gameplay ranges from serviceable to irritating, but it mostly exists to string together funny lines and silly images. (Christmas mall elves being secretly in service to Krampus - that's the kind of thing we're talking about here.) You won't feel much guilt for opening up a walkthrough; the puzzles aren't why you're here.

The sequel has just been released, and both games are cheap, so check them out if you feel like smiling.

Thoughts on The Procession to Calvary

It's rare for a game to be hilarious to look at.

The Procession to Calvary takes its name from the Bruegel painting. It also takes all it's graphics from Renaissance oil paintings, and the designer delights in making famously rendered heroes and religious icons steal, stab, fart, and swear.

A strong Terry-Gilliam-with-After-Effects vibe is what we're describing.

You play as a lady knight from a war that's just ended, which sucks for you because, in this age of peace, you're no longer authorized to kill. And killing's, like, you're whole thing. But the one person your new, pacifist king wouldn't stop you from killing is the warlord you just deposed, who fled to the South. So you embark on a nonsensical journey to seek out the one human on Earth you are authorized to kill, because killing is just The. Best. Ever.

Of the three games we're discussing, this is the most overtly cheeky, and, at times, the most scatological. I could've done with a bit less scatology, if I'm being honest, but the cheekiness is very winning. As with Lair of the Clockwork God, a lot of jokes could go either way - a field of people being tortured and a woman on a blanket selling commemorative torture merch could be painfully try-hard. But something about the victims being seemingly everyone ever crucified or broken on the wheel in a famous painting, and having them writhe on their crosses in a way that is both gruesome and goofy, and having a cacophonous soundtrack of their screams and moans that you will now imagine every time you look at one of those elegantly elegiac paintings from now on... it works. That the music score is being played by an extremely jaunty piper who dances behind you just out of sword's reach as you traverse the field pushes it over the top.

Oh, and the puzzles, while never hair-pullingly obtuse, will leave you stumped at times. Push past that to get the proper ending, but, if you're sick of trying, you can, at any point, just start stabbing your way through problems. Which, again: it takes a very deft touch to make "protagonist resorts to violence" actually funny rather than lazy and obvious. And maybe, in another game, the perfect timing of every animation, the clever quips, the careful contrast of cathedrals and high-society music halls with gleeful sword-swinging wouldn't be enough. But something about it being frickin' Renaissance paintings carries it the last mile.

This is probably the basest game of the three, but it's also the one that made me giggle the most. Having a BFA that required several art history classes may have something to do with it. But check this thing out.

#capsule review #darkside detective #lair of the clockwork god #procession to calvary

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v171 · 2 years

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Best in Books, 2021

Sorry for another book post that no one asked for. I just enjoy doing these as it lets me reflect back on books that I haven't read in a long time.

Got this survey online here and thought it was another fun way to reflect back on what I read.

1. Best Book You Read In 2021?

Provenance - Ann Leckie

2. Book You Were Excited About & Thought You Were Going To Love More But Didn’t?

Hummingbird Salamander - Jeff Vandermeer WHAT a colossal disappointment...

3. Most surprising (in a good way or bad way) book you read?

The Midnight Library - Matt Haig I absolutely hated this book and it made me realize that I don't think I'll ever like him as an author. I was stunned that this book got the acclaim that it did considering how objectively bad I felt that it was.

4. Book You “Pushed” The Most People To Read (And They Did)?

Words of Radiance - Brandon Sanderson I don't actually think I pushed too many people to read this, but I recommended it to a friend who in turn recommended it to by brother and now another friend. So it all started with me.

5. Best series you started in 2021? Best Sequel? Best Series Ender of 2021?

Best series I started - Rosewater - Tade Thompson Picked this up on a whim and really loved it. Looking forward to finishing the trilogy this year.

Best sequel - Artificial Condition - Martha Wells Honestly all of the murderbot books blend together, but I THINK this one was my favorite.

Best series ender - The Hero of Ages - Brandon Sanderson This was honestly just okay, but I didn't finish many series this year....

6. Favorite new author you discovered in 2021?

Jackie Polzin I read her debut novel, Brood on a whim as my last book of the year. I was so surprised by how wonderful it was and how excellent of a writer she is.

7. Best book from a genre you don’t typically read/was out of your comfort zone?

Poison for Breakfast - Lemony Snicket This was some mixture of memoir and philosophy I guess? I really enjoyed it and neither genres are something I read often.

8. Most action-packed/thrilling/unputdownable book of the year?

Sea of Rust - C. Robert Cargill This had been on my TBR forever before I finally picked it up, and I'm so happy I did. It was fantastic and oddly touching.

9. Book You Read In 2021 That You Would Be MOST Likely To Re-Read Next Year?

Blindsight - Peter Watts I initially rated this a lot lower than I should have, because I am still thinking about how impactful this was. There's a sequel and I think I might try to re-read this before jumping into Echopraxia.

10. Favorite cover of a book you read in 2021?

The Hole - Hiroko Oyamada I'm not super big into the genre of Japanese mystical realism, but I found this to be short, sweet, and moderately enjoyable. I LOVE the cover though.

11. Most memorable character of 2021? Molly, Neuromancer - William Gibson The original Trinity. I loved her.

12. Most beautifully written book read in 2021?

This is How You Lose the Time War - Amal El-Mothar, Max Gladstone

13. Most Thought-Provoking/ Life-Changing Book of 2021?

The Seep - Chana Porter I thought this was a very interesting exploration into what it means to be progressive and what we'd be giving up if we actually were liberated from earthly conflict.

14. Book you can’t believe you waited UNTIL 2021 to finally read?

Neuromancer - William Gibson

15. Favorite Passage/Quote From A Book You Read In 2021?

I never write down quotes that I like, but it would probably be something from The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula Le Guin because of course it is.

16.Shortest & Longest Book You Read In 2021?

Shortest - Peace, Pipe - Aliya Whiteley More like a short story. I think its like... 20 something pages.

Longest - Words of Radiance - Brandon Sanderson 1087 pages

17. Book That Shocked You The Most

The Invention of Sound - Chuck Palahniuk This was literally written to be shocking, so I guess it wasn't surprising that I found it shocking. It was not good though.

18. OTP OF THE YEAR (you will go down with this ship!)

I do not do this.

19. Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship Of The Year

Henry Thompson and OWEN, The Municipalists - Seth Fried Totally fell in love with this book and I loved their buddy cop dynamic. (They weren't actually cops, don't worry)

20. Favorite Book You Read in 2021 From An Author You’ve Read Previously

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro The Buried Giant was one of my favorite books of last year and this was just as wonderful and devastating.

21. Best Book You Read In 2021 That You Read Based SOLELY On A Recommendation From Somebody Else/Peer Pressure/Bookstagram, Etc.:

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke Absolute garbage. Can't believe I was tricked into reading this by everyone on youtube and goodreads.

22. Newest fictional crush from a book you read in 2021?

Tobias, Silver in the Wood - Emily Tesh I was about to say that I don't get fictional crushes... but that's not true I guess. How am I supposed to resist a gruff mountain man forest spirit??

23. Best 2021 debut you read?

Brood - Jackie Polzin

24. Best Worldbuilding/Most Vivid Setting You Read This Year?

The Well of Ascension - Brandon Sanderson Not a surprise that Brandon is good at worldbuilding. Only reason that I didn't put Stormlight Archive is that I haven't caught up yet.

25. Book That Put A Smile On Your Face/Was The Most FUN To Read?

A Psalm For The Wild Built - Becky Chambers So lovely and beautiful. A joy to read.

26. Book That Made You Cry Or Nearly Cry in 2021?

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro I mean come on... completely devastating...

27. Hidden Gem Of The Year?

The Raven Tower - Ann Leckie Criminally underrated book. I know Leckie is known for her Imperial Radch saga, but this was absolutely excellent.

28. Book That Crushed Your Soul?

Razorblade Tears - S.A. Cosby So heart wrenching. Cosby was able to convey grief so wonderfully.

29. Most Unique Book You Read In 2021?

Version Control - Dexter Palmer What I thought would be a standard time travel sci-fi story really surprised me with its novel approach to time travel. Completely unique and an actually scientifically backed theory.

30. Book That Made You The Most Mad (doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t like it)?

The Midnight Library - Matt Haig What a stupid waste of a book. So dumb, not insightful, waste of time. He literally just wanted to write a worse, less nuanced version of The Bell Jar, and in that I suppose he succeeded. Baffling that people loved this book. Not only was is completely surface level, the overarching commentary on mental health was bad and harmful.

#my year in books #2021 #books #reading

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a-froger-epic · 3 years

Text

The Queen fandom, Freddie Mercury and Characterisation

Or: Why are those anons like this? Why are those writers like this? Why don't we understand each other?

In this essay, I will-

No, I’m serious, I will. And this is an essay. It’s roughly 2500 words.

The friction, concerns and hurt in fandom around Freddie’s characterisation - most recently centred around a fic the author tagged as ‘Bisexual Freddie Mercury’, stating in the notes that they have chosen to write Freddie as bisexual - have given me a lot to think about. And if you have been asking yourself the questions above, this here might be of interest to you.

First off, why do I feel like I need to talk about this?

The answer is not: Because I’m so very influential in fandom.

I think my influence in this fandom has been vastly overstated by some people. If I were so influential, everybody would rush to read anything I rec or write. And trust me, they really don’t. My relevance is confined to a very specific part of the fandom. That part is made up of: Freddie fans, Froger shippers, some Roger fans, a handful of writers who like to support each other and like each other’s work, and people who are really into research.

There are many parts of fandom where my opinions are entirely irrelevant. Looking at the big picture, by which I mean only the Queen RPF fandom, I simply am not that important. Looking at the even bigger picture: the Queen fandom as a whole, the majority of which doesn't read or care about RPF - I am literally nobody.

Furthermore, everything I will be talking about here is in relation to the RPF-centred part of Queen fandom.

So why this public essay?

Because I have been deeply involved for two years in a divide of opinions concerning how Freddie ought to be written and how people think of RPF. I think this is in large part because I - like several other authors currently writing for the fandom - absolutely love research. It's my idea or fun. I love to dig into these real people’s lives. Not everybody does that and not everybody is comfortable with that. It’s a personal choice depending on people's levels of comfort surrounding RPF. But this does put me firmly in the camp of Freddie fans who like to explore who this man really was, and track down every last fact about him.

Freddie Mercury vs. Fictional Freddie

I’ll admit that I am one of those people who have the urge to speak up when they see somebody claim that Freddie was bisexual, and sometimes I will say: “Well, actually, we do know that he didn’t see himself that way, because…” For me, these have often been positive exchanges.

I think there is overwhelming evidence that Freddie Mercury identified as gay from his split with Mary to the end of his life (wonderfully curated here by RushingHeadlong). In the niche of fandom I have frequented over the last two years, as far as Freddie the real man is concerned, I have barely ever seen anybody argue with this.

But fanfiction and talking about real Freddie are not one the same thing, and they shouldn't be, and as far as I am concerned they don't have to be. Some writers like to put every last fact and detail they can find into their fic, in an attempt to approach a characterisation that feels authentic to them (and perhaps others), and other writers are simply content to draw inspiration from the real people, writing versions vaguely based on them.

But writing historically and factually accurate RPF is more respectful.

Is it? I've thought about this for a long time, and I really can't agree that it is. This, to me, seems to presume that we know what kind of fiction these real people would prefer to have been written about them. That, in itself, is impossible to know.

However, if I imagine Freddie reading RPF about himself, I think that he might laugh himself silly at an AU with a character merely inspired by him and may be really quite disturbed by a gritty, realistic take full of intimate details of and speculations about his life and psyche. Such as I also tend to write, just by the by, so this is definitely not a criticism of anybody. Freddie is dead. Of all the people to whom the way he is written in fiction matters, Freddie himself is not one. There is no way to know what Freddie would or wouldn't have wanted, in this regard, and so it isn't relevant.

Personally, I can't get behind the idea that speculating and creatively exploring very intimate details of Freddie's life, things he never even spoke of to anybody, is in any way more respectful than writing versions of him which take a lot of creative liberties. As I've said so many times before, I think either all of RPF is disrespectful or none of it is.

So who cares about Freddie characterisation in fiction anyway?

Clearly, a lot of people do. Freddie Mercury was an incredibly inspiring figure and continues to be that to a multitude of very different people for different reasons. There are older fans who have maybe faced the same kind of discrimination because of their sexuality, who saw Freddie's life and persona distorted and attacked by other fans and the media for decades, who have a lot of hurt and resentment connected to such things as calling Freddie bisexual - because this has been used (and in the wider fandom still is used) to discredit his relationship with Jim, to argue that Mary was the love of his life and none of his same sex relationships mattered, to paint a picture where "the gay lifestyle" was the death of him. And that is homophobic. That is not right. I completely understand that upset.

But.

These are not the only people who care about Freddie and for whom Freddie is a source of inspiration and comfort. What about people who simply connect to his struggles with his sexuality from a different angle? What about, for example, somebody who identifies with the Freddie who seemed to be reluctant to label himself, because that, to them, implies a freedom and sexual fluidity that helps them cope with how they see their own sexuality? Is it relevant why Freddie was cagey about labelling himself? Does it matter that it likely had a lot to do with discrimination? Are his reasons important? To some degree, yes. But are other queer people not allowed to see that which helps them in him? Are they not allowed to take empowerment and inspiration from this? Can you imagine Freddie himself ever resenting somebody who, for whatever reason, admired him and whose life he made that little bit brighter through his mere existence, however they interpreted it? I honestly can't say that I can imagine Freddie himself objecting to that.

This is the thing about fame. Anyone who is famous creates a public persona, and this persona belongs to the fans. By choosing that path, this person gives a lot of themselves to their fans. To interpret, to draw inspiration from, to love the way it makes sense to the individual. Please remember, at this point, that we are talking about how people engage with Freddie as a fictional character creatively. This is not about anybody trying to lay down the law regarding who Freddie really was, unequivocally. This is all about writers using his inspiring persona and the imprint he left on this world to explore themes that resonate with them.

This is what we as writers do. We write about things which resonate with us and often touch us deeply.

But don't they care about the real Freddie?

Yes, actually, I would argue that a lot of people care about "the real Freddie". It seems to me that depicting Freddie as gay or with a strong preference for men is what the vast majority of the RPF-centered fandom on AO3 already does. You will find very, very few stories where Freddie is depicted having a good time with women sexually or romantically. That he was mostly all about men is already the majority opinion in this part of fandom.

But another question is, who was the real Freddie? If the last two years in fandom have taught me anything, it is that even things which seem like fact to one person can seem like speculation to another. I have personally had so many discussions with so many people on different sides of the debate about the exact circumstances of Freddie's life and his inner world, that I must say I don't think there is such a thing as one accurate, "real" portrayal of Freddie. Even those of us who are heavily invested in research sometimes disagree quite significantly about the interpretations of sources. So that narrows "You don't care about the real Freddie" down to "You don't care about Freddie because you don't interpret everything we know about his life the exact same way I do". Sure, by that definition, very few people care about Freddie the same way you do.

The bottom line is, there are so many writers and fans who love him, people who are obsessed with him, people who care about him deeply. They might care about who they believe he really was or who he chose to present himself as to the world, the way he wanted to be seen. But ultimately, in my personal opinion, if somebody is inspired to write Freddie as a fictional character they feel that Freddie means a lot to them. And it is hurtful to accuse them of not caring.

But what some people write hurts/triggers me.

Yes, that can happen. Because the nature of AO3 is that everything is permitted. Personally, I am very much in agreement with that. You will also find me in the camp of people who are against any sort of censorship on AO3, no matter how much some of the content goes against my own morals or how distasteful I find it. Some people disagree with that, which is fine. We must agree to disagree then. Here, I would like to quote QuirkySubject from the post she made regarding this whole situation because I cannot put it better myself: “The principle that all fic is valid (even RPF fic that subverts the lived experience of the person the fic is based on) is like the foundation of [AO3]. The suggestion that certain kinds of characterisations aren't allowed will provoke a knee-jerk reaction by many writers.”

No matter how much you may disagree with a story's plot or characterisation, it is allowed on AO3. "But wait," you might say, "the issue is not with it being on the site but with people like yourself - who should care about "the real Freddie" - supporting it."

This is some of what I have taken away from the upset I have seen. And it’s worth deconstructing.

I've already addressed "the real Freddie". Moving on to...

The author is dead.

This is something others might very well disagree on as well, but to me the story itself matters far more than authorial intent. And what may be one thing according to the author’s personal definition, may be another thing to the reader. Let’s use an example. This is an ask I received yesterday:

This author thinks they were writing Freddie as bisexual. However, going by the plot of their story, I would actually say that it is largely very similar to how I see the progression of Freddie’s young adulthood. To me, personally, Freddie would still be gay throughout the story because he arrives - eventually - at the conclusion that he is. The author and I disagree on terminology only. And I think simply disagreements about terminology, given that some terms are so loaded with history in Freddie’s case, trips a lot of people up.

It seems to me that many people still equate bisexuality with a 50/50 attraction to men and women, when in actual fact many - if not most - bi/pan people would say that it is nowhere near that distribution. Some people are of the opinion that anybody who experiences some attraction to the opposite sex, even if they have a strong same-sex preference, could be technically considered bisexual. (However, sexuality isn’t objective, it’s subjective. At least when it comes to real people. What about fictionalised real people? We will get to that.)

Let's briefly return to real Freddie.

What I'm seeing is that there are several ways of thinking here, with regard to his sexuality.

1. Freddie was gay because that seems to be (from everything we know) the conclusion he arrived at and the way he saw himself, once he had stopped dating women. Therefor, he was always gay, it just took him a while to come to terms with it.

2. Freddie can be referred to as bisexual during the time when he was with women because at that time, he may very well have thought of himself thusly - whether that was wishful thinking and he was aware of it or whether he really thought he might be bisexual is not something we can say definitively. He came out as gay to two friends in 1974 on separate occassions, and he talked to his girlfriends about being bisexual. (Personally, I think here it is interesting to look at who exactly he was saying what to, but let's put my own interpretations aside.)

3. Freddie can be seen as bisexual/pansexual because his life indicates that he was able to be in relationships with both men and women and because there is nothing to disprove he didn't experience any attraction to the women he was with. Had he lived in a different time, he may have defined himself differently.

Now, I'm of the first school of thought here, personally, although I understand the second and also, as a thought experiment, the third.

I think all of these approaches have validity, although the historical context of Freddie's life should be kept in mind and is very relevant whenever we speak about the man himself.

But when we return to writing fictionalised versions of Freddie, any of these approaches should absolutely be permissible. Yes, some of them or aspects of them can cause upset to some people.

And this is why AO3 has a tagging system. This is why authors write very clearly worded author's notes. This is the respect authors extend to their readers. This, in turn, has to be respected. Everybody is ultimately responsible for their own experience on the archive.

Nobody has the right to dictate what is or isn't published under the Queen tag. As far as I am concerned, nobody should have that right. As far as I am concerned, everybody has a responsibility to avoid whatever may upset them. I understand where the upset comes from. I also maintain it is every writer's right to engage with Freddie's character creatively the way they choose to.

None of us can control how other people engage with Freddie or the fandom. None of us can control what other people enjoy or dislike about the fandom.

The best way to engage with the content creating part of fandom, in my opinion, has always been to create what brings you joy, to consume the content that brings you joy and to respectfully step away from everything that doesn't.

#Queen fandom #Freddie Mercury #bi Freddie

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quidfree · 3 years

Note

i always come to your blog to see if you have any cool quotes u recently shared/rb'ed haha, they're always so thought provoking. hmm.. for prompts... ik everyone is doing tdbk (rip bc im in the midst of reading the secret history just to read ur fic after) so maybe izuku visits tdbk aptment (already dating) and sees how everything is intertwined? i also like 3rd party views haha. or tdbk at a press conference/gala.. the one in the most recent masterpiece was soooo enjoyable

ghhhh anon?!? ok first of all thank you for appreciating my quote selection it is carefully curated by my objectively good tastes but secondly the fact you are READING TSH just to read my fic is INSANE. please send ur thoughts observations and protestations throughout and i will provide moral support. that is a labour of love and i am intensely humbled. i do think that fic is like Pretty Good so hopefully you are rewarded for your pains. also you will be amongst the elite who elicit non-todobaku content from me

also weirdly enough the izuku slowly observing todobaku post ‘recent masterpiece’ (lol) prompt is a fic im currently working on and is shaping up to be Incredibly Long for no reason so. great minds etc. anyhow here is your prompt- it’s less funny and more lowkey and thoughtful, but i hope that’s to your liking anyways.

there’s really no reason for this all to feel so significant, izuku thinks, as he climbs the stairs. it’s not like it’s the first time he visits the apartment. he knows the apartment- probably knows it about as well as katsuki, honestly, given the while he’d had to live off shouto’s couch during that manhunt thing last year. and it’s not even like it’s the first time he’s hanging out with either or both of them since they started their... thing, stubbornly undefined as it is. it’s just dinner, and it’s mainly for work talk.

it’s just... they live together. that feels significant. he’s never visited any couple who lives together, except maybe kacchan’s parents. they’re all still young and mostly single or not seriously dating, and for any couples since they’re in the public eye living together would be a whole fuss. katsuki and shouto kind of coast on societal prejudice in that regard, because neither of them is a girl- even if their usual discretion somehow failed them the usual outlets wouldn’t suspect anything untoward, whereas they’d jumped right into pregnancy rumors the time iida had very reluctantly let hatsume mei crash at his on her way back from europe once. so there’s that, and there’s also the fact it feels kind of terrifying and conclusive to move in with someone, especially in their line of work. if he’s honest the two of them are the last people he saw surrendering their intensely independent solo living anytime soon, but then neither of them appear to have changed their attitude since this all started, so what does he know.

it’s helpless, though: he can’t shake his nerves. it’s not a big deal, visiting, except where it is and also he can’t stop spiralling. should he have brought a housewarming gift? shouto’s had the penthouse for years, but katsuki’s new to it, sort of. shit, maybe he should have brought a housewarming gift. oh, god, he definitely should have. kacchan is going to hold this faux pas over his head forever and then refuse to buy him a wedding gift in reciprocation.

relax, he tells himself firmly. you are the nation’s top ranking pro hero. these are your best friends. there is no reason to be so worked up about this.

...which is all fine and dandy, but also: oh god this is shouto and kacchan and he has never actually been witness to their cohabitation and nebulously defined relationship so intimately before, there is no way he comes out of this one alive.

miraculously, it is shouto who opens the door, waving him half-mindedly inside as he returns to the living room, izuku’s flustered greeting drowned in the unending stream of conversation he’s clearly at no risk of interrupting as he hastily takes his shoes off and follows.

“...for the third attack, so that makes no fucking sense!”

“unless you take the third attack as having been the fourth.”

“what’s that even supposed to mean?” katsuki demands, cross-legged at the low-table and sparing him a rapid chin-raise before he lazer-focuses back on shouto. “hey, deku. icyhot, did you forget escalation theory? what kind of pattern break would have had to happen for the npa to have missed a whole damn assassination?”

“if the method was varied, it might not have been classified a murder at all. and that’s not inconsistent with the fact pattern.”

it’s probably unhealthy that all of this talk of murder is relaxing him immensely, but he’s long been resigned to possessing the kind of psyche that makes therapists weep. he takes his seat at the table, bobs his head shouto’s way.

“he has a point, kacchan. we know they don’t stick to the same modus operandi every time. remember the complete switch of tactics for the second attack?”

katsuki, predictably, scowls profoundly at this input. “oh, seriously, you’re going to take his side on this? deku, you know as well as i do that the only reason we even found the third victims as fast as we did is because these motherfuckers are consistently flashy. even if they switched it up it’d be a victim of the same caliber, and we’d have picked up on the death.”

“that depends on the timing,” shouto disputes, reasonably, and leans back on his hands a little, crossing his long legs ahead of him. back in the day he only ever kneeled like the picture of japanese respectability- time and corrupting influences will have him sprawling someday, izuku thinks, even as he internally considers their arguments.

“oh, you mean the fourth overshadowing the third?”

“which it could easily have, because of-“

“the phonecalls?”

“okay,” katsuki grunts, leaning forward to plant his elbows on his knees. “let’s say that’s even true, which for the record is a pretty fucking big if. if that’s true, then how do you explain the fuckery with the phone lines?”

“misdirect.”

“the fuck it is!”

everything is all work and smooth-sailing for a good half hour until katsuki’s timer goes off and he absconds to the kitchen, except he keeps shoving his head around the corner to yell his opinions and then shouto just gives izuku a look that conveys several years of looks over katsuki’s head and heads for the kitchen. the timing is good, because katsuki is just raring to go when shouto spins neatly past him into the kitchen, and in the seconds it takes katsuki to correct course and shove past shouto as he goes to taste the teriyaki sauce izuku has the sudden and disturbing sensation that he is playing voyeur based solely on the silent eye-based communication that takes place, in which shouto is all who me and katsuki is like you think you’re so goddamn smooth and shouto gives whatever the eye equivalent of a coy shrug is.

“hands off the spoon, half ‘n half.”

“all great chefs need taste testers.”

“yeah, keyword being taste.”

“if you’re accusing me of bad taste that argument may not work out in your favor.”

“fuck off,” katsuki snorts, flinging another spoon his way, which shouto catches with a gracious little nod. “use this and don’t double dip.”

“who do you think i am?” shouto murmurs placidly, around his spoon. izuku has the distinct feeling he should clear his throat or risk being forgotten for half a second too long for everyone’s collective pride and/or sanity to remain intact in the aftermath. luckily, shouto’s considering glance around the kitchen lands on him and draws katsuki’s attention his way too.

“deku, unless you’re about to deliver some cooking skills, sit the hell down. shouto, don’t fucking put that spoon anywhere near the food.”

“i was going for the sink,” shouto lies, and embarks upon a complex choreography of movement around katsuki’s aggressive food-prep to dress the table, weaving under and around a flurry of chopping and stirring with nary a blink. it’s the sort of thing a lot of them can pull off on the battlefield, especially the three of them, but it’s slightly surreal to witness in so banal a setting. no, banal’s not the right word- he has similar second-hand awareness with katsuki and shouto outside of work too, as part of their general ‘drift compatibility’, as mirio brands it. domestic- it’s domestic, a word probably about as likely to be associated with either of his friends as approachable or average or well-adjusted.

dinner goes fine, or better than- they talk, unavoidably, of work, not that izuku expected any different. depending on who he’s with he’s often apologising profusely for being wholly unable to shut off his work brain on his off-hours, but with katsuki and shouto it’s sort of the opposite. he and shouto are so close in part because they’re both so thoroughly driven work-wise, and the most civil he and katsuki have ever gotten even in the years since they’ve become real friends who only rarely engage in physical violence is still when they’re focused on work. it’s why they’re all so close, various trauma bonding aside (though katsuki will still not entirely jokingly argue that their entire friendship was purely motivated by shared ptsd). and besides the conversation the food is excellent, too- the only singular time izuku has ever kind of envied shouto his relationship with katsuki is when it hit him that since moving in together he primarily gets to consume home-cooked meals now. given that shouto is worse than izuku in terms of taking care of his dietary needs it is probably a good thing that he is now under the purview of someone who is more likely to throw a pack of instant noodles at someone’s head than eat them.

the main oddness in this whole situation, really, has been how little either of them have changed. they’ve both changed a lot over the years, mind you, but nothing has been added by their involvement, and that’s strange mainly because it means this whole thing has been going on for so long that their dynamic shifted to account for it way before they ever made a move. he’s honestly a little scared to know how far back this goes, because the further back it reaches the more oblivious his past self becomes, and also the more he has to start questioning apparently innocuous interactions they had in high school. shouto’d tell him if he asked; kacchan would most certainly not. he’s not sure if knowing would be worse than theorising as he does. he has a very secret underlying theory that he may have played some hand in cultivating their original proximity via what katsuki refers to as ‘chronic main character syndrome’, but the implications of this as well as the accusations of narcissism he would endure upon voicing this thought help keep it very quiet. besides, loathe as he is to spiral over these things he can’t help but think some of the seeds of it may go back far further than even that, if anything should be read into katsuki’s slight overreaction to the first year sports fest debacle.

still, it’s weird, to realize retroactively that so much of the snappy repartee he was trying to play peacemaker over across the years was probably some kind of extremely slowburn flirtation. (though that had never worked well even at the time: shouto had once turned to him with devastatingly sincere curiosity and asked him very neutrally why he bothered to try and smooth things over with them when he and katsuki were by far the most likely to actually come to blows and/or tears over personal grievances.) shouto flirting is already incongruous enough, though admittedly he has had reason to accustom to it somewhat over the years (shouto may seem very genuine in his unfazed apologies after the fact, but they all know damn well he takes unending glee in tormenting izuku via cheap pick-up lines when he’s drunk), but taking anything kacchan does as flirtation makes his mental gears start squeaking uncomprehendingly. he will shamefully admit if only to himself that despite his unconditional love for his friends he is relieved beyond measure that they are too particular for sappiness, because he probably would not be able to restrain his mortification it he had to witness that. his own reactions to their various interactions are unpredictable to the extreme and unfortunately likely to cause someone bodily harm, since the one time he’d walked in on them he’d promptly violently expelled himself from the building. admittedly some of the bodily harm came directly from kacchan in the aftermath, but still.

he stands there pondering this now as he helps clean up, carrying the glasses back to the living room. the apartment itself is a subtle testament to the changed status quo- not so overt that a stranger would notice anything amiss, but obvious to anyone like him. shouto’s clean simple lines and liking for the traditional remain, in broad strokes, as well as his touches of endearing cutseyness- little cat figurines on the bookshelf, soft fluffy mat by the window- but in the aggressively maintained storage or the thoroughly modern lighting system there’s undoubtedly someone else’s influence over the room, down to the training gear that gets relegated to the side closet when there’s company. the photos are shouto’s but the posters are katsuki’s. for some reason it makes him feel sort of wistful, or maybe touches him, to see how unceremoniously they’ve meshed styles.

“why’re you staring at a wall?” katsuki asks, interrupting his reverie, probably intentionally; he’s slouched against the side of the sofa when izuku startles his way, eyebrows raised a fraction. that’s a bit of a shouto expression, actually, which is supremely wild.

“oh, sorry! i was just looking at how the decor has changed since the last time i came over.”

“didn’t change much,” katsuki shrugs, casting a look around. “all his furniture is expensive as shit. and mostly not tacky.”

“it looks nice,” izuku agrees, and feels a little awkward for a moment at the thought of the two of them standing here discussing katsuki and his boyfriend (????)’s decorating choices. he thinks probably katsuki feels the same, and paired with the fact that his awkwardness is overpowered by his happy disbelief that they’ve come this far from middle school he feels himself relax into earnestness. “you two are good together.”

“oh, fuck off,” katsuki grimaces, crossing his arms and violently avoiding eye contact. “i knew you were going to make this shit weird.”

“sorry,” izuku says, not particularly apologetically, which causes katsuki to send him an extremely unimpressed glare. “i mean it, though!”

“i know you fucking mean it, deku, that is clearly not my issue here.”

“what issue?” shouto blinks, casting a mildly curious look between them. “izuku, what did you say to embarrass him now?”

“i’m not embarrassed, i’m protesting this presumptive bullshit!”

“ah, i just said your place looks nice,” izuku responds, taking pity upon katsuki’s squirming indignation. “i was just thinking about our first tokyo flats, actually- do you remember the roach we found in the shower, shouto?”

“i don’t know if that could legally be called a roach,” shouto says, seriously, nudging katsuki over so they can sit down. “it had two heads.”

“fucking useless landlords,” katsuki mutters, darkly. izuku nods in commiserating agreement. that had been a rough couple of months.

they have tea over case files, because shouto likes tea and katsuki is honestly kind of geriatric at heart, which suits him fine- as much as he enjoys drinks with his friends his pain tolerance (deemed ‘alarming’ by medical experts and ‘helpful’ by himself) has not translated to alcohol tolerance, and he tends to get sleepy and loopy after a glass or two. there’s comfort in the ritual, as well- none of them have much time for comfort on the daily grind, so he appreciates the momentary lull, the way they all relax incrementally the longer they sit around in each other’s company with no sense of urgency. it’s in the way shouto’s straight lines curve slightly around the edges and his eyes go quietly less guarded, and the way katsuki’s shoulders untense and his expression slackens into a light, habitual frown. most of all it’s in the thoughtless closeness that creeps into them as they sit exchanging opinions with him, more than he’s seen them show without intent and certainly more than they ever come close to in public. it’s nothing anyone would think to notice, but he’s too conditioned to notice things not to: little things, like katsuki’s crossed leg landing his foot on shouto’s thigh, the latter resting his hand unthinkingly atop it when it does. at some point katsuki drapes an arm across the back of the couch, and when shouto leans back from setting his tea down and notices he takes a second to push his head into katsuki’s lax hand without breaking rhythm as he speaks. he’d already come to the obvious conclusion that they had to be more tactile behind closed doors, but seeing the signs of it in person is different, little hallmarks of possession bestowed unconsciously without even flinching at his witnessing them.

it’s been a while since he realised with probably embarrassing slowness that his two best friends at some point got covertly close enough for their friendship to rival his with them, so it’s not that any of this hits him in the moment. it’s just that, for now at least, remembering that out of his sight they’re well on their way to being closer than even that incurs a strange blend of emotions in him that he feels a little guilty about, unavoidable and unexpected little bite of jealousy aside. it’s mostly a sort of heart-swelling and mildly intrusive degree of enthusiasm for the whole development, which he should probably take more pains to conceal because both katsuki and shouto give him looks across the hour that indicate that they’re onto him and will not entirely appreciate his spontaneous speech about the beauty of love.

“it’s getting late,” katsuki is the first to remark, when he stops chewing izuku out over what is honestly a very minor disagreement on procedure. it is, sort of- it’s near eleven, which isn’t unreasonable but is certainly late enough that izuku starts making his excuses so as to not overstay his welcome, even as shouto’s gaze goes from interested to mildly disappointed in a series of microexpressions. katsuki cuts them both off- izuku verbally, shouto through a very reserved cuff to the head, with a quick jerk of the chin. “you two are both doing that shit downtown tomorrow, right? if you keep icyhot out of the drivers seat you can crash on the sleeper.”

izuku’s not completely baffled by katsuki’s actual acceptance of his prolonged presence in his home any more, but shouto’s certainly quicker to accept this proposal for what it is, albeit with some reservations. “something really has to be done about this delusion of yours that i can’t drive.”

“you can’t drive.”

“to drive: to operate the mechanism and controls and direct the course of a vehicle,” shouto recites, deadpan, which confirms to izuku that 1) this precise argument is one which has been had enough times that shouto has gone and memorised the dictionary definition, and 2) shouto is probably his funniest friend.

“i can just fly home,” izuku says, before the argument goes any further, in part because his wanting to side with shouto is conflicting with the knowledge that shouto is in fact a terrifying driver. “or take the trains, really. it’s not that far.”

“as if you wouldn’t get lost and end up sleeping on a skyscraper,” katsuki snorts, redirecting his ire as shouto tilts his head.

“izuku, the last time you took the train you got sexually harassed and robbed at the same time.”

“she was a really nice old lady! she probably grabbed my butt by accident!”

“and your wallet out of your back pocket too?”

“just take the damn sleeper, deku,” katsuki declares, in tones of finality, and when shouto nods gravely his fate is sealed. since it’s hardly a fate fit to protest, he only goes for another ten protests before he gives gracefully.

he and katsuki set up his mat as shouto cleans the porcelain, and it’s katsuki who lends him sleepwear very matter-of-factly, so that for a moment izuku feels solidly four years old preparing for a sleepover at kacchan’s with no small amount of trepidation. probably katsuki is thinking along the same lines, because he gets an odd look on his face and sort of shoves at his shoulder a little before absconding to bed himself.

he’s settled into his bedding and not entirely lost the sleepover feeling, now with the added strangeness of katsuki and shouto playing the role of the parents in the next room over, when shouto’s head appears above his without notice and nearly gives him a minor heart attack.

“you comfortable?”

“yes, thanks,” izuku manages, mildly scarred but not sounding it. perks of the amounts of ptsd he’s accumulated across the years: his impulse control is greatly improved. “this has been a really nice evening, shouto. thank you for inviting me.”

“no need to thank me,” shouto says, wholly seriously, which makes izuku crack an instinctive smile. “i was just trying to find an off night for all of us. you know you can show up here whenever you want.”

“i don’t know if kacchan would back you on that,” izuku laughs, touched as he is, because if shouto catches on to any surprise as to the open invitation he’s going to spend the next ten minutes giving him a very intimidating friendship speech (in ochako’s words: ‘can’t blame him, he learnt from the best’). shouto quirks his lips a little.

“well, whenever you want at your own risk. advance warning is probably safer.”

“wh- ah, shouto!” izuku sputters, covering his eyes out of some misplaced instinct for propriety. shouto’s smile persists a minute longer, gone mischievous.

“good night, izuku.”

it’s only years of forcing himself into sleep despite constant hypervigilance that get him over his initial terror long enough to pass out, but on the bright side once he does sleep he sleeps like a baby- shouto’s spare sheets have an aggressively intimidating thread-count, apparently. also, katsuki has kind of disturbingly intuitive knowledge of what pillows to provide his guests with. there’s some kind of metaphor in that, he’s sure.

#qui repond #qui ecrit #anon #todobaku #prompts #tdbk #izuku #tsh #qui parle #sort of #anon.... ily. be my friend

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spockandawe · 3 years

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I doubt this is something I’ll ever even try to write, because I rarely have the energy these days to devote my energy to a ‘lol but what if’ ship. But never say never, and I legit wrote the emilonni and tlj/sqq fics, after all, so I’m going to write this down and maybe, possibly, someday come back to it.

Now, hear me out

Wei Wuxian/Jin Zixun

Yes, yes, I know, but give me a second. It’s the sort of ship where I kind of want to do it just to see if it can be done, and where the idea of ‘textual support’ is kind of laughable, and it’s not like I’m smashing together two super-popular characters who just never happened to speak, and it’s the kind of ship where I think I could only shake one fic out of it before I was repeating myself, BUT.

First, a quote:

The person at the head of the group was Jin Zixun. He said, “Zixuan, is that Wei making trouble for you again?!”

Jin Zixuan said, “None of your business, don’t worry about it for now!” Seeing that Wei Wuxian grabbed Jiang Yanli and was about to take her away, he added, “Stop!”

Wei Wuxian said, “Oh, you want to fight? That’s fine with me!”

Jin Zixun said, “You Wei, just what do you mean by going against Zixuan so many times?”

Wei Wuxian looked at him. “Who are you?”

Jin Zixun paused in shock, and fumed, “You don’t know who I am?!”

“Why should I know who you are?”

When the Sunshot Campaign had first broken out, Jin Zixun had insisted on defending the back lines, due to an injury. He hadn’t had the chance to see what Wei Wuxian was like on the front lines, and most of his knowledge had come from rumors. He hadn’t care much for him, thinking that the rumors were simply exaggerations. However, a while ago, Wei Wuxian had summoned all of the dark creatures in the forest with a whistle, calling away the fierce corpses Jin Zixun’s group had been about to capture, causing their efforts to be wasted. He was already displeased.

Now, in front of his face, Wei Wuxian was asking who he was, stirring up a strange sense of indignation within him— He knew Wei Wuxian, yet Wei Wuxian didn’t know him, and even dared ask who he was in front of everyone. It was as if this had caused him to lose too much face. The more he thought about it, the more irritated he became.

Now, there’s a thoughtful meta I hopefully reblogged to my sideblog, which I would have to dig up or recreate on my own, about the most sympathetic possible reading of Jin Zixun. If memory serves, it has a lot to do about the precarious nature of his social position, where he’s part of the Jin clan, and kind of the closest thing Jin Zixuan has to a brother, but also, everyone knows that Jin Zixuan has half-siblings coming out of the woodwork, and many of them would be stoked to get Jin Guangshan to accept them into the family. At this stage in the story, Jin Guangyao is already a major player and a hero of the war and part of the venerated triad, where Jin Zixun spent a lot of time... not in the thick of things, like most other peers of his generation.

Is he an asshole? Yes! Is... Wei Wuxian an asshole? Also yes! One of them may be a more likeable asshole than the other, but that’s part of the excitement of a story like this, trying to coax people into holding a fannish position that they’d never considered before, and aren’t particularly eager to be convinced of. I don’t think I’m bad at that uphill climb, it just takes a lot of energy that I don’t often have to begin that journey in the first place. Also, one of these assholes is a certified grade-A torturer, and it’s probably not the one you dislike. Jin Zixun isn’t starting from an insurmountable disadvantage here.

And see, the thing that got my attention is this: Earlier in this chapter, Wei Wuxian is a little melancholy, thinking about how since the Sunshot Campaign, lots of people are scared of him, hardly anyone is willing to be alone with him, and almost nobody would ever be willing to approach him alone. And here, we get the information that because Jin Zixun was injured early and wasn’t on the front lines of the Sunshot Campaign, he doesn’t know to be afraid. He tried to provoke Wei Wuxian before the hunt, he’s about to keep provoking Wei Wuxian, he’s Jin Zixun and he doesn’t afraid of anything. Yes, he’s about to say some very hurtful things, but I look at that, and I think ‘okay, now how do we recover from this?’ Giving Wei Wuxian someone who just... plain isn’t afraid of him (but is also derailed by me, your author, from taking that to unrecoverable places) would be good for him. Jiang Cheng will antagonize him and isn’t afraid of him, but they also share years of history and are dealing with a lot of other stresses in this situation, and Jiang Cheng is asking things from Wei Wuxian that Wei Wuxian is struggling to provide, and the golden core thing is still hanging between them. Lan Wangji isn’t afraid of Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian parses his concern and worries as antagonism and criticism, and those stress him out in a whole different way. This dynamic, as much as I would have to work to make it happen, would bring something new to the table.

One of my favorite activities is crackshipping with sincerity, and when I poke at this, it genuinely feels like richer territory than it looks at first glance. A lot of the antagonists share some fascinating character notes with our lead, and what’s most interesting to me here is an elevated-but-precarious social position and the various stresses that puts upon our characters. Jin Guangyao is the most obvious example, and Su She echoes it more quietly, with how he struggled within the Lan Sect and eventually left (honestly, kudos to him for him and mianmian to be two of the only characters to realize that their home was hurting them and to leave). Jin Zixun is in a family position that’s close to being brothers with his sect’s heir, but isn’t quite brothers, and is close to the seat of power, but also in a precarious social position if someone acts against him. Jin Guangshan and Madam Jin create a dysfunctional family dynamic to grow up in, where Jin Guangshan’s heart attention strays from his wife, and his wife has beat at least one kid who wasn’t biologically hers in the household.

There’s some common ground, is all I’m saying

I don’t even know what would happen, necessarily, I’m talking this all out here right now, and the interesting part of ships like this is digging in extra deep, and seeing what unexpected thing shakes out. It isn’t quite in the style of the other notable rarepair fics I have managed to write, which tend to follow a paradigm of ‘[person] is floating unmoored from the world, and [love interest] gets them engaged with life again’, but it’s not totally out of line with my interests. Svsss won’t give us more detail about Tianlang-jun? Okay, what happens if I make him hopelessly fond, what happens then? What happens if I properly re-engage his sense of humor? I hardly had anything of substance to go on with Horuss, and that fic is old, but I managed to pull interesting things out of him with Roxy. And I mean... what does happen when Jin Zixun stops self-destructively antagonizing the people around him and starts acting in more neutral ways? Not even positive, I think this relationship is going to have a strong antagonistic component, but what happens if he stops basing his interactions purely on who gets the higher rung on the social ladder?

Now, I do have a problem, which is that plot is something that happens to other people. See also: the reason there has not been a tianlang-jun sequel. I think that it would almost definitely have to do with repairing the situation between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli and both of them managing to dial it back a LITTLE so as not to completely sabotage their family member’s happiness, and that leading things forward. And in a ridiculous pipe dream that will never be realized, because either possible pov will be completely oblivious, I would also want to include Jin Zixuan’s confused bisexual awakening and his resentful (also confused) attraction towards Wei Wuxian, even if he still ends up with Jiang Yanli, but... wei wuxian isn’t going to notice, and neither is jin zixun, SO. That’s probably right out. And the plot implications would have to be... significant. Setting it post-Sunshot campaign means that the Wen situation is simmering, and any plot that involves me untangling that mess... terrifying! I wouldn’t know where to begin! But like, also. What if I could write this ship in a compelling way. I bet I could do it. Nothing feels as good as the sensation of ‘I have scored points on my own darling readers by convincing them to like something they didn’t want to like’, and usually, I only get that from the second person pov. It would be so hard to write this ship. But also, what if I did it.

#the untamed #wei wuxian #jin zixun #don't judge meeeee #joke's on me #if i do write this i will have to be entirely self-motivating #because i am 99% sure my usual sounding boards will be 1000% uninterested XDDDDD #if i do another bingo document tho....#which i have been considering......#we'll see!#for now we see what my underutilized tag for this is #fic ideas #there we go #long post/

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nissakii · 3 years

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Miya Twins – the curse and blessing of being a twin [Haikyuu!!]

Siblings.

Some of us may hate them or adore them, yet you can’t find a middle when it comes to it.

Siblings can be important roles in our lives, for the better or for the worse in some cases.

They are some who look up to their siblings and share a strong bond, and with others there might be constant competition and comparison which makes them grow further away from siblings, others are a mix.

There is not a definite sibling relationship since each and every one is different and unique.

In Haikyuu we already saw some relationships depicted between siblings as we have the Tsukishima brothers with their problematic turn of losing trust but still respecting each other as well as trying to come to an understanding, or the example of the Tanaka siblings who may look like they have a lot in common but we see Saeko being extremely supportive and encouraging despite looking just as rough as her brother if not even more fearsome at times.

Not to forget we have Hinata Shoyo as the big brother role, who takes pride in becoming someone who his sister can be proud of despite looking a bit foolish when it comes to it.

Yet Furudate didn’t fear to put in another fascinating sibling relationship in the Haikyuu series: The Miya twins.

As we see the bickering duo enter towards the end of the first part of Haikyuu!! To the top one can immediately sense that there is a bit more to their relationship and that they look quite fascinating the way they interact with each other as they look like complete opposites when it comes to personality.

But what does it mean to be a twin?

What makes it so truly beautiful yet painfully forbidding?

In the following blogpost we will cover the curse and blessing of being a twin, with our two characters Atsumu and Osamu Miya who left a big mark in the last season!

Identical

They are not simply siblings who have the same genes, no.

As they are identical twins their DNA is almost identical, identical twins are born from the same Zygote as it’s an unusual occurrence for the Zygote to split into two before starting to divide and grow into seperate beings - in this case two separate beings with the exact same DNA.

While twins might be almost identical ...

...they are not completely, they may share the same DNA from the start but they still grow into separate individuals who can each have different eating habits, routines, different environments etc.

Considering Epigenetic (which would be too much to explain and make this post long than supposed) the DNA can still be modified through chemical changes that happen through a lot of factors which means the DNA itself still stays the same but the chemical groups can switch sequences on and off which may conclude that even in twins there are changes in appearance and physique.

Twins also have similar but not identical fingerprints.

With the Miya twins we see that at a young age before they dyed their hair they resembled each other and if not for the personalities and slight hints they are not easy to tell apart beside the way they separate their hair or Osamu’s eyes and hair having a slightly different shade of brown if looking closely.

Even as children they had a lot of individuality but they shared a lot of similarities, which stayed and manifested even to their current selves.

Despite Osamu seeming more reserved, silent and level-headed most of the team still don’t trust him for being just as impulsive as Atsumu when it comes to it. We have both Kita and Suna comment on that as they remark that in the end Osamu and Atsumu still share the same DNA, as we see Osamu being just as competitive and aggressive as his brother when it comes down to it.

The team is aware that Osamu might just turn the tables suddenly and get angry or frustrated just like his brother, he also shares his provoking nature and doesn’t let the opportunity slide to make a remark when Atsumu messed up or gets scolded and it’s the same the other way around, that’s why most of the people who know the silent Osamu do not underestimate the dangerous traits within him that his twin brother shows outwardly in full pride.

In the scene where we see Atsumu confronting his twin for not being frustrated enough about him going to the All-Youth camp but Osamu not, he also mentions that despite that it might seem differently Osamu works just as hard as he does making them both hard-working people even if it seems like Atsumu works a tad harder than him towards his goal as the best setter. Neither Osamu nor Atsumu would just say that to each other if they didn’t mean it honestly as they are brutally honest with each other considering their mistakes and bad traits which they call out loudly in front of people at times and do not care about what others think.

Which shows their deep consideration for each other as Osamu states he knows he should be frustrated but he just isn’t and Atsumu being frustrated in his place that he wasn’t chosen either as he thinks his brother is just as good as him.

Differences

Like mentioned before twins might be very similar especially appearance-wise but they do not have to share everything considering their traits, personality, hobbies etc as they are still separate individuals.

We already saw their similarities, but what makes them so different?

It’s clear that Osamu appears to be visibly more reserved and silent when he is not agitated or bickering with his brother, if there is no real reason to be mad about or put in too much emotion Osamu is unlike Atsumu not easily swayed by things around him or at least he does not openly present that like his brother.

As a child Osamu seemed also more observant and didn’t shout out anything that came to his mind like Atsumu, as we see in Aran’s flashback. He thinks of ways to counter his brother as he knows what would tick him off and doesn’t show that he is bothered when Atsumu was chosen as either Spiker or Setter, talking himself out in a clever way which would make Atsumu mad.

In the same flashback Aran also mentioned that he thought Osamu was slightly better than Atsumu if he had to say that, assuming Aran was right or considering he mentioned at that time Osamu was better than Atsumu it shows that having the same body structure appearance-wise doesn’t make twins the same skill-wise even if they are in the same environment and under the same conditions.

Kita also mentioned in one of his quotes where he talked about that the process matters more than the results, a child wouldn’t understand it as Atsumu came to his mind at that very moment. Not only those Kita view Atsumu as a child but Osamu mentioned as well that Atsumu tends to become very childish especially during a game as he said he regresses back about five years when they are in a match indicating his easily affected behavioural pattern.

We also get to see that Atsumu is a bit more vulnerable than Osamu, at least showing that vulnerability quicker than his brother but it doesn’t make Osamu less vulnerable as Atsumu is generally just more bluntly showcasing his feelings and sometimes even laying out his ambiguous attention. Since Atsumu doesn’t care about what people think of him or what they say about him people often get irritated, annoyed or intimidated by him unlike Osamu who consciously tried to avoid becoming hated by his peers in middle-school like Atsumu as he talked to them and tried to befriend them.

For Osamu it was simply bothersome to get into the situation Atsumu throws himself in as he tries to avoid conflict when it’s not needed and also is shown to be a bit more sly about things than his brother as he learned to think more before acting out like his brother for the reasons stated above, yet ironically the only one who can bring out the loud and childish side in Osamu is Atsumu himself which he avoided to resemble in order to not end up like him.

Atsumu also seems more flashy than his brother and doesn’t miss an opportunity to show off his talent, skills and what he can bring out during a match making him a bit more daring than Osamu, but Osamu also goes along with his brother’s daring side which could make him just as daring yet not basically the one who takes the initiative first.

Curse

As we saw their similarities and differences it is just a matter of time that problems arise with both of them.

What is the supposed curse of being a twin?

For that there is one important thing Aran mentions as he talks about the Miyas.

“The biggest blessing that Atsumu has isn’t his physique or his various talents. It’s actually Osamu.”

Yes, this quote obviously is meant in a positive way but still can have an ambiguous meaning as we take it a bit further.

Therefore we ignore the blessing part for a moment and focus on the part “isn’t his physique or various talents.”

That short sentence tells us a lot more than that Atsumu having his brother is a good feature only which we see later, but Aran obviously is stating that considering his twin Atsumu is not unique in either physique or his various talents since Osamu obviously shares very similar traits.

The fact that Aran is the one mentioning this is that he was the one who grew up with the twins as he saw them develop since they were children and first started to play Volleyball earnestly at that point. He also is the one who probably understands them the most next to Kita.

Aran is telling us that Atsumu himself is physically and on a skill-level just as talented as Osamu as we also see that in the flashbacks and throughout season 4.

Which means people who consider Atsumu being blessed with those things, those blessings are not his alone but he shares them with his brother who is pretty much almost identical DNA-wise which makes him probably one of his biggest threats.

Now imagine finding it pretty much annoying to get compared to your friends by your parents or those around you, even worse when you have siblings who are older or younger. Being compared to someone is not something that is regarded as a positive thing especially when people do it in a condescending or negative way.

“His older brother got better marks when he was in my class.”

“Your younger sister is better than you despite the age gap.”

Humans tend to compare themselves internally and subconsciously most of the time even if they don’t want to do it, it’s a natural process and can come in handy when it’s done in a healthy way but not when others constantly compare you and even tell you how much better the other is.

The other way around if someone already knows how it feels to be compared and knows how hard-working the other person is, they also don’t want them to be the one who they are compared to even if it would flatter them since they know how it feels to be on the other side.

That is already a burden for itself, but imagine even worse: having someone being almost a copy of you.

Twins experience-wise tend to get compared sooner or later and especially since the occurence of twins is still fascinating given the chance that only 3-4 of 1000 births result in identical twins naturally. Since they seem like they are a copy of each other people set their standards towards twins differently as the cliche of twins being the same still exists.

Even in the anime we see that Aran while telling us about the Miya twins in the past obviously compared them too, even when he didn’t mean any harm by it and also as the viewer we get to see that from Karasuno’s point of view and the audience often measure Osamu’s standard according to Atsumu.

What one of them does, the other is supposed to do it just as good technically speaking.

An old-fashioned way to view them but still very wide-spread.

We also see that Osamu who wants to spike more since his childhood is often tested out for the setter position as well by his coach, as they take turns on Osamu and Atsumu.

The wish that both of them want to play different positions is often connected with people expecting that they are just as good at what the other does. Osamu is indeed good as a setter too as we see him switching really fast during the Karasuno vs Inarizaki game or also as child when he was chosen to play setter from time to time instead of his brother who wanted to play the position, but he clearly stated that he liked spiking which shows the different wishes and goals both of them have.

Atsumu is also seen to have powerful spikes and serving with a lot of force is not a challenge for him either, but Osamu approaches serves differently than his brother for example as he uses the time on his hand yet is capable of hitting the ball just as hard as Atsumu, we get to know this while they were bickering about that Osamu is slacking.

If it had been any other pairing they might have gotten sick of being compared or even used as fuel against each other but there is one thing that makes them different and doesn’t let people's words get to them as we will see in the following paragraph.

Blessing

“The biggest blessing that Atsumu has isn’t his physique or his various talents. It’s actually Osamu.”

Now we saw the one way one could interpret if analysed a bit more deeply but the common and probably simple meaning behind this sentence is if we take it as it is.

Osamu is the biggest blessing Atsumu has, because Osamu is the only one who can physically, skill-wise and according to talent be the only one who fully competes against Atsumu in every aspect of life.

It’s quite similar to the first way we mentioned earlier but the outcome here is different, because they are so similar they are the only ones who can push each other.

If there is nobody to catch up to, they are the ones left challenging each other because who understands his brother the best?

The one and only twin he has.

We already saw how Atsumu understands his brother and Osamu also knows what is going through Atsumu’s head.

Osamu didn’t have to take consideration when Atsumu was sitting alone during Volleyball breaks but he still mocked his brother to lighten the mood and make him bicker with him in order for other people to see how funny they can be, and that even Atsumu has a different side to him.

He knows that his brother is hard-working and therefore just wants the best so when Atsumu is insulting Osamu that he plays badly even though he was frustrated about it too, it’s because Atsumu does know how skilled his brother is, it’s the only one who could be on par with him so he knows if his brother is putting his best effort or not.

Therefore Atsumu provoking Osamu during matches and outside is because he wants to push him to do more, because he has high-expectations for his brother knowing that he is indeed someone who slacks from time to time, and Osamu understands that too as he as well accepts the challenges of his brother instead of ignoring them.

They do not listen to the comparison of other people in order to fuel them more, they fuel each other already which makes them the perfect duo.

This deep understanding leads them to do things without needing much communication.

Atsumu’s reckless and childish behaviour, Osamu’s reserved and slacking nature both of them contemplate each other.

Best competitors for each other but on the same team they also challenge each other to become even stronger together as seen when they didn’t hesitate to try the minus tempo quick on the court, this is possible due to their mutual understanding. Osamu might say he does not really trust Atsumu as he is someone who might be not reliable outside of the court but he knows that if his brother sets something in his head it will definitely work out because he will make sure it will be perfect.

Same goes for Atsumu, he knows if he chooses Osamu he won’t back off to try it and that Osamu knows best what he is capable of. Out of everyone his brother is probably one of the few who do not get easily surprised by Atsumu’s sudden change in moods when it comes to new plays.

Both of them know what the other is thinking, angle, mood, expression, speech they can read each other very well.

Aran says that in the end the more those two compete the stronger they get.

Not Osamu, not Atsumu. Both of them.

Which makes them the best competitors and a blessing for each other.

- Makii

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