something something ten was rarely wearing less than three layers representing his being very closed off and scared of vulnerability, while fourteen sheds his coat early on and has rolled up sleeves most of the time to parallel his being far more comfortable with his emotions and the vulnerability that comes with it or something idk
Until one day he'd been standing with James and Peter, in the hallway. James had said something, Sirius can't even remember what. But he'd laughed. One of those big laughs. The type that fills your belly. That makes you cry. And when he'd looked up, he'd found Remus's eyes on him.
*Oh.*
That was something.
That was world altering.
The atoms in his body rearranged themselves under Remus's eyes. They needed. Needed. Needed him.
He'd asked Remus, several years later, what had made him look, since it couldn't have been the noise. And he'd only shrugged and said:
"Your laugh is so bright. It's impossible not to notice it. Like not noticing the sun is in the sky."
as an asexual i always forget that sex and sexual things in nature are like... thought about everyday on purpose. any sexual thoughts i have are purely intrusive.
because obviously the doctor is about to blame donna for spilling the coffee, but he catches himself, backs off and apologizes. and it's not him catching himself in a "this is a pointless argument because i'm right and you aren't getting that so i give up" sorta way- because in that beat after, he isn't irritated, he doesn't start trying to figure out a way to reiterate his point. it's him catching himself in a "that was the wrong thing to say and i regret that" sorta way.
it's him catching himself becoming another one of the voices in donna's head calling her a screw up.