PAIRING: FOREST GOD VIDAR! BAKUGOU X ELF! READER
WARNINGS: some graphic descriptions | mentions of death | cunnilingus | pubes | hint of body worship | nipple play | marking | biting | blood | blood drinking | spit | breeding kink | hint of dumbification | some hair pulling | overstimulation
WORD COUNT: 7.4K
A/N: proud to finally be able to share with you guys my submission for Touch of Divine Rush Collab by @dark-mnjiro, i love Norse Mythology and had lots of fun writing this one so i hope you enjoy my little knowledge dump plus my interpretation of what Vidar’s journey would look like after Ragnarök
i also made a GLOSSARY to help you understand some of the terms and old Nordic language used without the need of researching it yourselves, please enjoy and tysm for reading!
The air felt thick as ash rained down upon the battle grounds, the remnants of the wrath from the towering flames of the fire giant evident all around as the silent god took in his surroundings. His foot still perched atop Fenrir’s fiery jaw as he looked down at the mangled wolf, a sharp pain making itself known on his palm when adrenaline started to subside from his body. Noticing one of Fenrir’s fangs pierced into his right hand where he held the beast’s jaw open seizing it before bracing his lower foot, adorned with his magical leather shoe, against its lower jaw and tearing it apart as the prophecy intended. Successfully avenging his father, Odin, after his journey ended being devoured by the foul monster.
Bakugou could barely see a few feet around him, the sky burned black as the flames reached all the way up to the stars, consuming them as not even the cosmos could evade their fate of being swallowed by the sea. Ragnarök, the final battle, had finally progressed to its final phase. And as the world burns in flames, Bakugou couldn't help but to inhale the stinging smoke around him, feeling it stain his lungs as he closed his eyes towards the black sky.
Clearing his head from the chaos that surrounds him, beginning to feel the icy touch of Helheim against his scorching skin as he calls upon the forces of nature whom he trusted the most to guide him through this new journey.
Silence.
A small smile adorned the god’s features as he accepted his fate, although destined to survive the destruction, he found it hard to believe in prophecies when the rumbling of the ocean’s hunger was making the ground beneath his feet tremble as it started to sink into the depths of the unknown. But the silence in his ears reassured him that he will once again rule over a regenerated earth.
Silence had been Bakugou’s strongest companion, known as the silent god for he desired nothing more than to be left alone to rule the forests who were bound by close ties to him where nothing but solitude and deep silence reigned. And his desires would soon be answered as droplets of water began to slowly quench his stained skin, the god’s deep vermilion irises fluttering open as the skies poured down on him. The flames around him began to die down as the sea rumbled again and Bakugou mentally kicked himself for doubting the Norn’s prophecy as their words echoed in his head.
“Early begun.”
“Further spun.”
“One day done.”
“With joy once more won.”
Ragnarök wasn't the complete end of the world. Out of the sea, the earth started to rise again, new and filled with all shades of green where fields of grains soon began to grow without the hand of any god, human or elf to aid it. A new sun shined down upon the fresh world, and soon a new moon would follow suit as they both traveled the same path as their ancestors and returned to their old lawful regularity to keep earth from seeing the darkness of Ragnarök ever again.
The surviving gods met at Ithavoll, once again a safe place for the gods to regather themselves as they built a new city and joined forces to bring earth back to its original splendor. But after a while, once the tasks at hand were complete and life on earth was once again restored, Bakugou left Ithavoll to take his throne in Landvidi, the wide lands.
Where his glorious palace eagerly waits for his return, decorated with large green boughs and only the most delicate of flowers in the midst of an impenetrable primeval forest where he could peacefully reign among the silence of the trees. Where anyone who dared disturb his silence, will receive no mercy and awaken the same mighty god that tore Fenrir’s devilish jaws with his bare hands. Soon, everyone across the realm knew better than to enter the forests uninvited, for all who entered were never to be seen again.
All except one.
Ever since you were a child, your mother would warn you to never go near the woods just off the threshold of Alfheim, the land of the elves. Hearing stories and tales of how those who had crossed were turned into corpses and left to rot by the border as a warning or were never to be heard from again.
Tales of giant man-eating beasts that would starve themselves and wait patiently for whatever ignorant soul dared set foot into their territory. Some would even say that the surviving dragons resided deep within the monstrous shadows of the tall trees, that reached so far up into the sky that no daylight could seep through. Blood-thirsty bees and spiders that would drain their victims of their blood to the very last drop, leaving them nothing but a mess of bones and dried flesh for the forest soil to consume.
And those who managed to avoid such terrible fate and considered themselves lucky enough to reach deep within the forest to find the triumphant god’s palace in search of hidden treasures that only the remaining son of Odin could possess, would only be left wishing they would have died at the claws of the forests beasts, for they imagine their death would've been quicker compared to the merciless torture the retired god would greet them with before watering his rare carnivorous plants with their blood and feeding them their remains to keep them hungry for more.
But you would argue the opposite.
The forest has always been kind to you, ever since you first stepped foot inside of it, back when you were just a small elf beginning to learn the elven ways of magic and strayed a little too far off the border in search of kalonji, a white-petaled flower that only grew near the thresholds of the forest and was a necessary component for brewing medicine due to the healing properties of its seeds.
But by the time you finished collecting the rare flowers, you had already entered the forest and had no idea on how to return home. The warnings of your mother started to echo inside your head as panic began to settle in the more you looked around and the vast forest seemed to appear the same no matter which direction you faced. Sinking to your knees as tears started to cascade down your cheeks, dropping the basket of flowers beside you as you buried your face in your hands waiting for whatever horrid fate that would end your sorrows.
Your choked sobs and sniffles were certain to attract one of the many beasts your mother had told you about, but when you started to hear the ruffling of leaves in steady steps getting closer, you never imagined coming face to face with one of the most beautiful creatures you had ever laid eyes on.
A white stag with the most piercing red eyes stared down at you warily. Large, majestic antlers adorned the sides of his head, resembling the leafless branches of the winter trees, as he cautiously smelled around you, taking in your scent while your cries died down in your throat as you stared up in awe at the towering giant. His large hooves were the size of your head, and his long legs were taller than you as you took in their size while he circled around you before settling on your opposite side.
Taking one last whiff of you before turning his snout towards your basket, inhaling the rich aroma of the kalonji before gently stealing one. Raising his head to stand tall in all his glory as he looks around whilst he eats it. You reached over and grabbed a flower as well, bringing it up to your nose to take in its bitter notes within its subtle floral fragrance before presenting it to the stag. To which he happily accepted as he lowered his neck towards you once again, taking your offering before beginning to walk past you and into the trees, stopping momentarily to look back at you only to find you already at his side as you two made your way through the extensive forest.
You were unsure of where the stag was leading you, but you figured that sticking by his side would be better than waiting alone for the icy souls of Hel to take you. Taking in the vibrant colors of the forest as you found it hard to believe that so much beauty could hold such terrors, but you weren't going to remain present long enough to see it for yourself.
Along the way you encountered small white wood aster and yellow trout lilies that also possessed many medicinal benefits, taking some and putting them inside your basket for later while your started to carefully weave their small branches together, although your inexperienced hands were still clumsy, you still managed to keep all the flowers secure until finally closing it into a circlet. You've been so distracted with the flower crown in your hand that you hadn't noticed the stag had led you back to the threshold of the forest, being aware of your location once he stopped a few feet away from the treeline where you could see the busy city of Alfheim just past the bushes.
Excited that you were going to be able to return home safely, you thank the stag as he looks down at you, giving you what felt like a nod before turning his body to leave. But stopping in his tracks when you ask him to wait as he gives you a confused look, watching as you walk up to him and offer him the crown you'd been building the whole path back. Those piercing vermilion eyes softening as he stares back down into your eager ones before lowering himself to your height, presenting you the top of his head while being careful not to hurt you with his antlers as you gently place the flower crown between them.
The different shades of yellow and green contrasting from his unique white fur beautifully as you feel his cold nose poke the side of your cheek before leaving a long wet lick on it, making you giggle before waving him off as you make your way down the hill and back to the city whilst he disappears back into the deep forest.
And ever since, each time you've gone to collect more kalonji, you'd find small and rather odd gifts near the flowers. Sometimes it would be random objects like polished stones and crystals, pretty feathers of all colors and sizes, and even sharp teeth that you could only imagine belonged to a creature far larger than those of these lands.
But mostly, you'd find only the rarest of flowers placed neatly upon the grass, looking so out of scenery as they wait for your arrival against the green fields. Flowers that you couldn't even begin to name since you'd never seen any others quite like them. Some would possess the most vibrant colors your eyes had ever seen, and others would have the most fragrant aromas to carry them despite their subdued appearance. Whatever the case, you'd always look forward to the little presents that awaited you on each journey to the border, and back then you were always so curious as to who could be leaving them for you to find at such opportune times.
But now, nearly a vicennial of winters later, you still look forward to the same little surprises, only now you are well aware of who is responsible for leaving such treasures.
Making your way past the same threshold, you walk through the dense trees you've grown so accustomed to. Ever since that eventful day, the forest has always been kind and welcoming to you. Presenting you with an abundance of the same exotic flowers you would find when you were little, showing you paths filled with the same rare and delicate crystals you'd receive on occasions, and even the few animals you've had the fortune of meeting on your different journeys have grown a liking to you.
But your reason to return to this forest always remained the same.
Landvidi possessed only the most beautiful of landscapes, filled with the highest trees and tallest branches in the realm, lush vegetation and fresh flowers. Past the high grasslands, in the heart of the forest known as The Hall of Landvidi, is where the silent god’s palace is located. Surrounded by an even greater portion of earth’s natural beauty that paints a picture of solitude, for no being other than the retired warrior god could reach.
And as the protector of these lands, filled with ambition and strength, he is determined to ensure it remains that way. He has seen what destruction is like, lived it himself during the great battle of the destruction of the cosmos and all that lived within them, and will stop at nothing to keep the peace.
Bakugou is the strongest of the gods, following Thor, and after fulfilling his fate as an avenger and brave warrior, his rebirth after Ragnarök symbolizes sustainability and regrowth. Being the only god known to be tied with nature, as most gods were connected to the sea through Heimdall, the watchman of the gods, Bakugou had always felt his soul to be more at peace within the wide lands. And even though he swore to never allow any trespassers into his territory, ever since he heard your cries all those winters ago, something within him told him you'd be the exception.
As you descend down the stoned path towards the small tunnel under the large oak trees, you take in a deep breath when the soft breeze hits your skin, the tunnel is formed by the widened crowns of the trees that spread and reached the branches of the oak trees on the opposite side, creating a beautiful passage towards the hidden waterfall ahead.
From the oak branches, bellflowers of all colors hanged down decorating the path with a mesmerizing view. You reached up and collected some of the violet-blue flowers, making sure to grab several of their leaves as well. Although their petals had a mild taste, the leaves can be quite refreshing, and you knew the one you seeked would enjoy them.
Securing them inside your basket next to the fresh apples you'd collected from your orchard, you resumed your way down the oak passage as the sound of the waterfall filled your ears. The Querencia Waterfall is the most beautiful of all the waterfalls in Landvidi, located just at the entrance of The Hall a few miles from the palace. It's the only waterfall in the land that’s so high, when the sun is at its peak some of its rays seep through the tall crowns of the oak trees, forming rainbows that look like they're cascading down along with the stream when they capture the water.
Surrounded by ancient willow trees, the lake where it pools contains powerful waters filled with passion and love from the root of the weeping willows that are believed to provide a nourishing embrace of fertility and healing. These were the only willow trees in all of Landvidi, after Ragnarök they became quite rare to find throughout the realms, so you were astonished when the white stag brought you here on one of your visits. Welcoming you into the water to bathe while he feasted on some of the exotic flowers that floated around different areas of the lake.
You smiled to yourself as you think back on that day, remembering how nurturing the water felt around your body for the first time as its magic began to absorb into your skin. Your heart swelling when you recall feeling something being placed atop your head, only to find the stag adorning your hair with the water hyacinths he collected, rounding them on your head by tangling them with strands of your hair to the best of his abilities until it formed a circlet as his own way of thanking you for the crown you gave him on your first encounter.
You've been coming to Querencia ever since to meet with the stag, bringing him only the freshest fruits from your orchard and collecting flowers from the forest on your journeys to make more crowns for him as a thank you for all the treasures he leaves on the threshold for you. Sometimes he'd wait for your arrival near the berry bushes just off the edge of the forest and escort you through the wide lands filled with birch trees where many wildflowers favor growing near their roots so you can collect them. Other times, you venture into the forest at first daylight and wait for him in the water.
Today was one of those days as you reach the willow trees closest to the waterfall, settling your basket down near its roots as you begin to strip your garbs, folding them by the basket before entering the water.
Submerging yourself deeper as the warm water sinks into your skin, the soft current wraps you in a state of tranquility whilst you absorb its properties before soon enough you spot the majestic antlers of the white stag. Smiling when you meet his gaze, noticing how his doe eyes seem to light up when he meets yours before entering the water with you, gracefully making his way towards you as water splashes around him from the force of his hooves. Giggling when he presses his wet nose against yours before lowering his soft furred forehead to your damped one. Something that had become a habit when greeting each other.
“God morgon, you came rather quickly today!”, you whisper against him as you greet him in the old language.
Although the old tongue was not commonly used anymore after the great destruction, you noticed you get a reaction from the stag when using some of the old words, almost as if he understood them better than the modern tongue.
“I brought you something!”, you eagerly tell him, causing his ears to perk up at your announcement as you lift yourself from the water and start walking back towards the willow roots where you left your basket, the stag sauntering alongside you.
Watching as you open your basket to reveal the shiniest of apples, his tongue dragging against his snout at the sight as he leans forward to eat one when you offer it to him, knowing your orchard produced some of the juiciest and most delicious ones in the realm after you watered them with the water you'd collected from the Querencia river. Offering him the bellflower leaves next as he accepted them and eating one yourself before diving back into the water.
Fully submerging yourself as the stag followed suit, his smooth white fur now a light gray as it clung to him, droplets of water dripping from his antlers and falling against your skin when he circled closer for you to hold on to him as you swam together.
This was your usual routine on the days you'd meet on the waterfall, bathing together and feeding each other different fruit and flowers you'd bring to one another until the sun would start to disappear behind the mountains, indicating it was time to return home before nightfall. Currently seated on his back while he paraded you around the lake while eating some of the fruits on the bushes near the waterfall, sighing as you wished the stag could communicate with you further, even though you already communicated in your own unique way, exchanging gazes and gifts, and sharing intimate moments such as these that many would thought impossible to be as close to a rare white stag as you are with this one, you still wished he could speak sometimes and be able to tell you stories from the forest he knew so well.
“I wished you could speak to me”, you express as you rest your head against his neck, feeling the patches of hair beginning to fluff up from the breeze hitting his back where you laid. Ceasing his chewing at the sound of your voice as his ears flick at your words, turning his head to the side to look at you before softly snorting while rattling his antlers to signal you to alight and join him in the water again, to which you comply as you sink back in and circle him until you're facing him again.
Smiling when he presses his cold wet nose against your stomach, snuffling up the center of your chest while leaving gentle licks on your skin before reaching your neck to nuzzle his jaw there as your hands pet along his broad shoulders and trailing them up his slender neck. He gives your side another lick before stepping back a few steps further from you as you stare back at him confused. Unsure of his behavior since he has never done this before when bathing together.
But just as you begin to approach him again, you stop when the water around him changes its movements, once a steady stream now rapidly swirling with such force you could feel it pull you in closer. Trying your best to steady yourself in the water to swim away but as quickly as it came it dissipated, the water returned to its peaceful flow as if nothing had changed. Except now the white stag was no longer there, and in his place stood a man you'd never seen before.
A tall blonde with a strong physique of that of a warrior, adorned with battle scars and tattoos of old nordic runes on his chest traveling all the way down his abdomen and disappearing below his waist submerged in the water that you couldn't quite make out from your position. Rows of different stone necklaces, identical to the ones you gifted the stag a few winters back embellished his neck and a circlet of flowers sat atop his ash locks, the same crown of flowers you had placed on the stag not so long ago when you were riding him.
You stood there frozen in place, still confused as to what had happened to the stag that was just standing before your eyes mere moments ago. Snapping out of your daze when the man started to come closer to you, water rippling around him with each step, similar to when the stag enters the water and it splashes from the might of his hooves. The man stopped in front of you as you peered up at him, the sun seeping through the trees hitting his chiseled face to reveal his piercing vermilion eyes.
The same pools of red that you'd recognize anywhere, the eyes staring back at you were the ones of the stag, eyes you'd look forward to seeing everyday when you woke up, a deep crimson you'd come to find in all things that reminded you of the stag, in the ripe apples of your orchard that he loved so much, in the rare red lilies that only bloomed during the early times of spring in the valley near the waterfall, in the polished pyropes stones he’d bring you every late winter and now in the body of a man whose presence felt familiar the more you took in the energy around him.
He smiled when he noticed everything beginning to make sense to you when your widened eyes began to soften.
“Elskan mín”, his voice low but eager as he wraps his arms around your waist and hoists you up to spin you around in the air, causing you to secure your arms around his neck while laughing before holding you close to him. Wet skin pressed against each other while strong arms keep you close as your legs instinctively wrap around his center.
Lowering your face towards him to nudge your nose against his before pressing your foreheads together, just like you would with the stag only now his nose is warm and the dampness of his forehead matches yours.
“How come you hadn’t done this earlier?”, your eyes searching his as you notice him peering at your lips while you speak before meeting your curious gaze again.
“Didn’t want to scare you away”, he answers simply whilst pressing kisses along your jaw sporadically.
“Why now then?”, you push while allowing your digits to travel up and down his nape, tangling with his hair.
“It just felt right”, he whispers while fondling one of your braids with the charms of your mother, she had removed them from her locks and secured them in yours before passing so you could have a piece of her with you when she could no longer be present in body but carry on in soul and spirit.
His hand traveled down to your shoulder where old nordic runes adorned your skin as well, only yours possessed sacred sigils of the old elven folklore, while his runes were of a time before Ragnarök. Which made you wonder if this was the retired god of vengeance everyone was so wary of, he evidently possessed the powers of one and if anyone was to allow the welcoming treatment the forest has presented you with all these years, it was him.
You reach for the hand still tracing the runes on your skin to cradle it in yours as you turn it so his palm could be facing you, whilst he watched as you inspected his hand. Smiling again when you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, almost able to see the ripples of electricity in your head as you put all the details together, a habit of yours that he loved to observe throughout the years since meeting each other.
To Bakugou, out of all the creatures that had stepped foot inside his forest seeking his aid, you were the most beautiful he had ever seen, no flower from his garden could compare to you, and since the day he met you he swore that one day you would become his goddess, and he has remained by your side since, waiting for this exact moment that he'd be able to finally show himself to you and solidify your love.
He watched as you traced the scar on his palm, a reminder of the path he once walked guided by the burdens of fate. Your eyes meet his again when you finally put all the clues together, noticing how he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered, and to him you were, for you had become his purpose after no longer having interest in matters of war and retiring to spend eternity within the silence of the wide lands.
“You're him… the silent one”, only receiving a nod in return as more answers arise in your head, but settling on the one that dominated your thoughts the most.
“Why me?”
“It's always been you, elskan mín… and now we are able to seal our love for one another.”
All your questions are melted away when he pulls you towards him and captures your lips in a kiss so fervent that causes your insides to stir with emotion. Only pulling away when the need for air becomes inescapable as you pant against each other's lips.
“I’ve waited so long to do that”, he exhales while making his way towards the shore with you still secured in his arms.
The fresh spring breeze hitting your skin when you leave the comfort of the water makes you shiver, a small hint of winter still present in the air as the forest was still transitioning from the stabbing cold into the warm energetic glow that this season brought along with it.
Your nipples pebbling at the loss of heat from the god’s body when he sets you down on the soft clearing of moss and wildflowers under the tallest willow tree. Something that doesn't go unnoticed by him as he peers down at you, now able to openly devour you with his eyes whilst you lay under him, strong tatted arms caging you between them as he lowers himself to capture your lips once again.
All the tales of the remaining son of the once All-Father were of his brash and merciless demeanour, ones that were bound to inflict fear upon anyone that heard them, but all those stories drifted into distant whispers of the wind the more you got lost in him. His touch was firm yet delicate, something that would seem impossible for his physique with such imposing structure, but it was possible. His touch was filled with love and spoke the words his voice failed to express. And only now that his lips trailed open-mouthed kisses along your skin, is that it becomes evident to you the extent of said love as you look back on all the years you've spent together.
Courting the other in the shape of flowers, stones and apples, in a dance of mighty passion that led to this exact moment as he settled himself between your legs, positioning your thighs above his broad shoulders whilst his fingers traced informal shapes on them. His eyes fixated on the tuft of hair above your cunt as he sinks down to bury his nose in it, inhaling your scent as you watch his eyes darken from finally being able to delve in the thing he craved the most after so long.
Maroon eyes meeting yours while his lips follow the trail of hair down towards your sensitive lips, the feel of his hot breath alone making you clench around nothing as you watch him hover above your cunt, puckering his lips so a long strip of spit falls from them and lands on your clit. Watching as it slides through your folds before pressing his tongue flat on your entrance and licking all the way up to your clit, repeating the action as he falls into rhythm. Feeling yourself get increasingly wetter with each swipe of his tongue while your chest starts to rise and fall unevenly.
Getting lost in the pleasure as your hips begin to buck when his tongue focuses on your clit, circling it before rapidly flicking against it causing something to ripple inside of you. He wraps his lips around the sensitive bud while his eyes look up in awe at the way you arch into him, your cries unleashing the might in him that had been forgotten for centuries as he sucks on your clit with more vehemence, needing to hear you sing for him louder.
Increasing his movements as he begins to suck on your folds, the feeling of his lips messily fondling with yours sends chills across your skin as you slowly rock your hips along with him. Your hands reach for his where they rest on your hip bones as he easily opens them for you to tangle your fingers with his whilst he continues to increasingly devour your cunt. The wet smacking sounds of his lips clashing with the ones of the waterfall as you feel yourself get closer and closer to your release.
The sweet taste of your fluids on his tongue drove Bakugou into a frenzy, lapping and eating your cunt while whined grunts resonated from deep in his chest, the vibrations pushing you over the edge. Arching deeper into his touch as wanton moans escape your lips, white spots clouding your vision when he buries his face further into your cunt, nose rubbing on your clit while he drinks every last drop of your release, not stopping until he gets his fill.
Parting from your cunt once your whines die down into heavy breaths, face stained with your fluids that he pays no mind to as he dives back in to place a tender kiss against your clit before trailing up to the tuft of hair, savoring your scent as he buries his nose in them again and runs his lips against them. Pulling your hairs between them, the slight tug making you peer down at him as you meet his eyes, filled with love and adoration mixed with something else, something more sinister and hungrier that hasn't been sated completely.
Watching as he presses a kiss to your hairs as well before continuing to trail them up your abdomen, never breaking eye contact as he reaches the valley of your breast. His hands untangle from yours as they glide against your sides to cup your boobs, shaking them in his grasp before capturing one of your pert nipples in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around it while he sucks them harder and slowly pulls back until it flicks out of his mouth with a wet slurp, to then switch and give the other nipple the same treatment. Alternating between both breasts as your whines encouraged him on, not stopping his ministrations until your chest was swollen and overstimulated, almost making you reach your climax once again but pulling away to edge you on as he continued to lay kisses against your chest before moving towards your neck.
Shifting from tender to ravenous when he starts to mark your skin with his teeth, nipping across your throat until settling where your neck meets your shoulder. Feeling his tongue drag against your skin followed by a sloppy kiss before his teeth scrape your delicate skin, your cunt clenching in anticipation as you wait for him to finally give in to his desires.
Bakugou could hear his heart beat loudly inside his ears as he began to sink his teeth in you, pressing down until the skin gave away against his force, the rush of blood drowning his taste buds making the loud beating cease into silence as his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
The mighty god had left the path of war behind a long time ago, but one's nature can’t be so easily avoided as the craving for disaster and vengeance haunted him at times from a period where the blood of his enemies would quench his skin, finding its way to his lips, reminding him what victory tastes like.
So as the savory metallic taste pours down his throat, he can't contain the groan that escapes him as a chill runs down his spine making him grind against you whilst your sweet cries pull him from his silence. Withdrawing from your skin to lap up the remaining rush of blood before cradling your face in his hand, holding your jaw firmly as he presses his lips to yours. Kissing you with such might you feel he could almost devour you through the kiss as the taste of your own blood mixing with each other's spit sends you both in a trance as you continue savoring it.
Bucking your hips to grind against his cock as his hips follow suit, beads of precum mixing with your arousal as he rubs his length between your folds whilst his tongue tangles with yours. Too engrossed in the kiss to pull away, you sneak your hand between your bodies and guide his cock to align with you as he slowly begins to sink into your cunt. The stretch of his cock sends a hot wave of pleasure down your back as your cunt sucks him in further, inch by inch as your fingers curl around ash blonde strands.
Your breaths become labored as you part from each other, lips swollen and red as he fully sinks into your warmth. The grip from your silken walls forces him to brace himself as he places his arms next to your head to keep himself from collapsing when he feels his thighs twitch. Pressing his forehead to yours when his hips start to rock into you, slow and steady at first before gradually increasing his thrusts into a brutal pace that drives both of you into a babbling mess.
Your wetness gushing messily, soaking the untamed strands of ash hair on his pelvis as they bounce against your own, before dribbling onto your skin causing it to spread in sticky strands every time his hips part from yours to snap against them again. Strangled moans mixing with the sloppy sounds of your bodies as the sensations become overwhelmingly good.
Tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you look up at him, trying your best to answer him when he asks you to tell him how good it feels between the curses in old tongue and heavy grunts that escape him. Responding to what feels like incoherent babbles as your mind melts away the more he pounds into your sloppy pussy.
Bakugou could feel his balls twitch as he neared his release, but he needed you to come undone with him and make an even greater mess on his cock for him. Shifting his weight on one arm while the other gives your breast a quick tug before reaching between your bodies as he starts drawing quick circles against your clit with his thumb. Sending an electric shock of pleasure through your body as your breath gets stuck in your throat before you start coming apart.
Squeezing around him hard as a flow of arousal gushes between your bodies as it stains both of you and leaks down into the soil beneath you. Your walls clenching around him mixed with the obscene sounds coming from your pussy sending him over the edge as well as he buries his cock to the hilt, filling you up as the hand on the side of your head tangles with your hair when yours tug harder at the one on his nape.
The tears finally spilling from your eyes as hot - impossibly hot - globs of creamy cum spill against your sultry cunt, searing your insides as you find yourself never wanting this moment to end, wishing to always be plugged full of the vengeful gods mighty cum. Feeling the final pulses of his cock inside you as his head falls down against your shoulder, smiling to yourself between heavy breaths at the wet feel of his ecstasy filled tears smearing against your skin but choosing not to say anything as he fully allows his weight on top of your whilst your arms wrap around him.
Giggling at the soft lips pressing feather-light kisses on the side of your neck as they slowly trail up towards your lips, capturing them in a gentle kiss while his fingers caress your scalp where he previously had a grip on your hair.
A cold breeze pulls you both from your trance as the rustling of the willow tree above you fills your ears, once again reminding of the remnants from the harsh winter as goosebumps erupt from your skin. You notice how the waterfall no longer has a rainbow flowing through it, indicating that the sun has already begun to set, and you need to return home quickly.
You've never stayed in the forest long enough to see nightfall, and the stag would always make sure to escort you back to the treeline safely before sunset, but today time had slipped from your hands and you began to worry. Bakugou is quick to notice your concern as he wraps his arms around your center to hold you close, burying his head in the crook of your neck again and taking a deep breath as he inhales your warm scent.
“I have to leave”, you remind him but still reciprocate his actions by wrapping your arms around him again as you also hated the idea of having to depart from this moment.
“Stay”, he whispers against your skin followed by a swipe of his tongue against the dried blood around the punctures on your neck.
“There is nowhere for us to st-”, you began to dissent, but the forest god silenced you by quickly pulling you into a kiss once more. Grin on his features that you couldn't help but smile in return despite your disapproving eyes.
“I want to show you something”, he guides your legs to wrap around his waist before rising from the ground with you secured in his arms as he carries you through a path of the forest you hadn't explored before. The sun was already halfway past the mountains, making it hard to see, but just as you were about to express your concerns to him, a light in the corner of your eye caught your attention. A small blinking light followed by another until an entire cloud of dancing lights was illuminating your path.
After Ragnarök, it was rare to catch a glimpse of certain insects, fireflies being one of them, so seeing so many in one place had your jaw slack as you watched how they gracefully danced under the upcoming moonlight whilst they guided you through the forest.
Bakugou kept walking through the field of thinning willow trees that started to morph into magnificent maple trees that even with only the dim light of the fireflies, you could vividly see their vibrant colors. These acer trees had also become a rarity after the great destruction, and the analgesic in their bark was of high command to aid as a remedy for some illnesses, which made you wonder why he hadn't shown you this part of the forest before. The stag had always granted you access to all the rare medicinal flora found in these lands so you found it odd that he kept this area hidden from you.
Your confusion only grew more as you made your way deeper into the darker trails of the maples, where the path seemed to end by a sealed corridor blocked off with an impenetrable wall of large roots and maple leaves.
“Blómi”, you hear Bakugou whisper as the sound of creaking wood follows, watching as the roots begin to untangle from each other and the leaves falls to the ground revealing a path of lit stones descending into a large garden with a great abundance of flowers, leading towards a large structure.
Your jaw fell slack again, as you wouldn't have imagined that this is where the silent god kept his palace, nor that such a vibrant area filled with such sublime greatness of nature could be hidden amid the sacred gloom of the maples. Bakugou couldn't help but smile as he carried you through his garden whilst you stared in complete enchantment, filled with joy that he could finally share his greatest treasures with you.
The inside of the palace was equally as marvelous as the outside and had a beautiful golden fountain at the very center with small creeks that led to other corridors of the palace, ones you couldn't wait to explore once daylight came again. As for now, the mighty god was still carrying you towards what you could only imagine were his chambers as he ascended the grand staircase near the main entryway. Revealing an archway adorned with flowy white curtains that led inside his bedchamber where he set you down on the spacious bed at the center of the room. The bedding was soft and cozy as you sink deeper into the comfort of them, noticing how the moon sat perfectly above the palace where you had a clear view through the sunroof above the bed.
“Hí, elska”, you heard Bakugou whisper next to you, offering you a coconut shell filled with water.
“Takk!”, you smile while grabbing the shell and drinking from it, finishing its contents before settling back down on the bed as a yawn escapes you, sleep finally catching up to you after such a fulfilling day. Settling against his chest whilst Bakugou worked his fingers through some of the tangles bathing earlier might have caused.
“God natt, ásynja mín”, he boasts, a grin spreading at your widened eyes looking up at him.
“Ásynja?”, you ask, unsure if you heard him correctly to which he only nods in return as you match his smile.
“Yes, ásynja mín, for everything I own is now yours as well”, he adds while nodding towards the room, confirming that he meant the palace and everything within his forest was now yours to rule alongside him for eternity.
And you couldn't be happier as you drift off to sleep against the god’s chest, neither could him as he placed a gentle kiss against your forehead before peering up at the moon. Asking his father if he was watching as he finally found the one with whom his soul delights in after many years of hard battles, he has completed the prophecy he set for himself all those winters ago when he met you, now with a content smile as he buried his nose in your head, excited for what the future awaits as the rulers of Landvidi.
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yandere!aphrodite with muichiro!fem!reader headcanons
Warning(s): aged up!reader [late twenties], anime spoilers, canon divergence from manga, references to mythology, obsessive behavior, violence, strong language, sexual references, established relationship, slight nsfw content.
MINORS DNI!
The intention of this story is for entertainment purposes only. The behavior exhibited here is inappropriate and unhealthy, hence it should not be encouraged. There are also triggers, so please take caution. You are responsible for your Internet consumption!
Collab work with @deathmetalunicorn1. Special thanks to @enryegotrip for providing feedback in the early drafting phase!
With that being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy the chaos that will unfold :)
You met Aphrodite through work.
As a Hashira of the Demon Slayer Corps, your main objective is to eliminate the nocturnal beings before they could set a single inch inside Valhalla and devour innocent humans. Thanks to the human named Nostradamus, they could slither their way through the Bifrost’s fractured ley lines rather than just taking a gamble to walk through the swirling miasma that lied beyond the stone double doors and come out on the other side still in one piece. Including information gathering and training soldiers in the organization, there was an occasional bodyguard job.
That was the night you had crossed paths with the Greek goddess of beauty; the function had been a banquet hosted in the palace of a floating island, belonging to a god whose name you couldn’t recall except he was known for firing a silver bow and arrow from a chariot in the sky. But that really wasn’t important. Your job had been to keep an eye out for troublemakers and give them the ol’ greet and toss when they were causing too much of a disturbance.
From the corner of your eye, you saw Aphrodite seem to be talking about things of great interest with Lady Persephone; they were too enraptured in the conversation to notice anything happening outside of their little circle of interest, including the incubus was shamelessly ogling the women of the Greek pantheon.
And of course this buffoon would try to sneak behind your lady’s friend to grab her ass. You sighed in mild annoyance in having to intervene in such a lovely atmosphere, stepping away from your position behind a column.
You quickly glided across the crowded floor, pushing past through the guests and getting behind the incubus. You grabbed one arm and twisted it behind his back, then the other one before starting to pull him away from the goddesses. “What the fuck?!” He snarled, wiggling in your grasp. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“I beg to differ,” You said. “Lewd misconduct in a gathering that is hosted in a god’s temple is strictly forbidden. Especially if the perpetrator is someone who has not been invited to said gathering. Now, stop being so stubborn and come along quietly -” You were cut off in mid-sentence when you felt something warm and sticky land on your cheek.
You blinked owlishly, unimpressed at the incubus’ false bravado and the stupid sneer on his face. Really? This asshole just spat on you? Fine, two can play this game.
You slammed your knee into the pervert’s solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him long enough to secure your grip on him, earning surprised gasps from the guests. You looked up and saw Lady Persephone and Lady Aphrodite staring at you with wide, doe-like eyes. You bowed your head to the lord’s wife.
“Forgive me for bothering you and your…acquaintance, Lady Persephone. Please enjoy the rest of the night.” Having properly given your apologies to them, you proceeded to drag the piece of shit across the floor, walking in the back of the temple meant for security and the kitchen staff to slip through without being noticed.
Himejima met you halfway and took the squirming incubus out of your hands, promising to deal with him. In the meantime, it was time for shift rotation; you’d be moving towards the outer perimeter of the island with two other Demon Slayers.
Tanjiro greeted you inside, asking if you were okay with a worried look in his dark red eyes. Smiling at your old friend, you politely declined and reminded him to get a snack or drink water. This banquet is just getting started, it wouldn’t do him any good to keep working on an empty stomach.
He nodded enthusiastically, racing back inside to the kitchens and shouting that he’d bring back something for you too. Your heart twinged at his words. Even after all of these years…how could he have forgiven you for surviving the war against Muzan when it should have been him and Nezuko? That the two of you, including Giyuu and Sanaemi, stayed with Master Urokodaki until it was time to go your separate ways? How the guilt gnawed away at you for years, knowing Nezuko would be all alone in her village despite keeping regular contact with you through letters and visits? How can he not hate you?
You shook your head. No…there was no point in dwelling on the past right now. You need to focus on the job. After you scrubbed off the area where the incubus’ saliva had landed, you washed your hands and left the restroom to join the others.
In retrospect, you truly thought that was the last time you would ever meet the Greek pantheon’s goddess of love and beauty….not the beginning.
Persephone was bragging about her new bodyguard with the pride of a mother fawning over her child for the third time this evening.
Aphrodite knew the queen of the underworld well enough that she utterly despised being treated like a child or an asset that is to be protected from even the smallest of threats. That was why it had been difficult for Hades to find someone qualified and met his wife’s expectations to protect his beloved. Personally, Aphrodite found the overprotective part of Hades to be…romantic. Dazzling even, the idea that such a stoic and cold-hearted man melted in front of the only woman he loves.
Admittedly, Aphrodite was curious about this strong and useful mortal soul entrusted to protect her on-off friend, especially their appearance. Did they possess a rugged appearance, or dressed neatly for the job? Were they big or small? Experienced in bed or a virgin? These questions tossed around her mind right until she heard yelling right behind her. That was when she saw the incubus and a young lady dressed in black, the latter holding him down even though she was half of his size. She gasped in disgust when he spat at the mortal, and then felt her heart flutter when she retaliated with a swift kick to the stomach. Blank [Eye Color] orbs blinked owlishly at them before she murmured an apology, wishing them a good-night before dragging the incubus across the floor without another care in the world.
Aphrodite gawked in shock, turning her attention back to the equally shell-shocked Persephone. “Is…Is that your bodyguard?” The brown-haired goddess merely nodded, her golden eyes watching the pair disappear into the crowd.
“Indeed…but how could she have sensed that rascal before we did?” It was true. As members of the Oympian pantheon, they were blessed with powers far beyond the others, and not just immortality and incredible strength. Persephone frowned. “Perhaps I underestimated the power of a Hashira?”
“A Hashira?” Aphrodite repeated. “You mean to tell me that Hades assigned the strongest members of the Demon Slayer Corps as your bodyguard and you didn’t mention any of this to me sooner?”
Persephone shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t think it was that important to you, in fairness. And they are supposed to be a secret, not public knowledge to spread across Valhalla.” She took a sip of her wine. “Fret not, if that little pissant is in her hands, she’ll deal with him promptly.”
Aphrodite slowly nodded, taking another gulp of wine before her mind wandered back to the stoic mortal who possessed such a mesmerizing beauty she had not seen since Helen of Troy had been alive.
In contrast to the innocence of the Argos queen, the Hashira’s eyes did not sparkle with neither joy nor love; nothing reflected in her gaze except exhaustion and irritation when she dealt with the incubus. Why does she seem so tired when she is a trusted soldier under the command of Hades?
That had been the initial spark of curiosity which struck Aphrodite’s mind, even after the banquet. By interacting with Persephone, she was able to persuade her dear friend to come out for an outing in Valhalla’s most popular shopping district with her precious bodyguard in tow. It is through this trip that the goddess of beauty turned her gaze upon the Hashira, and felt her heart pounding in her chest once more.
Yes…those eyes are mesmerizing. But other secrets could she be hiding? One question led to another, and then another until Aphrodite could not stop herself from sinking into the madness of morbid fascination.
Why does she wear only the standard Demon Slayer uniform? What are her favorite foods? Her hobbies when she isn’t protecting the Bifrost alongside her comrades?
Aphrodite began using her doves to spy and receive daily reports on the Hashira whenever she went in Valhalla, relishing in what information they’ve brought back to the temple; they were almost seen by the overprotective and vain crow that is always by the mortal’s side, however, so her precious familiars needed to be a bit more discreet with their actions. Of course, Aphrodite would not be so cruel nor stupid as to send the doves to the gates of Helheim.
That would draw too much attention, and she did not want to reveal herself to the lovely [First Name] just yet.
Soon, she thought with a wistful sigh, lounging in the inner sanctum of her temple surrounded by the stone men Hephaestus created for her as a wedding gift. Soon, we shall be together my love, and nothing will stand in the way of our happiness.
By pursuing the Mist Hashira, she neglected her longtime lover Adonis. He grew jealous when he heard that another mortal slithered their way into his goddess’ heart, and when he confronted Aphrodite about the rumors, an argument ensued. Adonis left the temple that same evening while she fumed quietly, alone in her twisted thoughts.
Oh…she wanted to hold [First Name] in her arms. But she needed to be patient for just a little longer. She blinked, baby blue eyes narrowing with a contemplative frown. Now that she thought about it, it has been a while since she called upon Ares to her bedchambers.
Perhaps until the Demon Slayer is officially hers…she should play around with the war god to satisfy her needs. Yes. That's a perfect plan. Oh, she is so beautiful and smart, no one can tear their gaze away from her when she enters the room.
Moments later, however, she crushed her cell phone in half. Four times. She called him four times and not once did Ares pick up. HOW DARE HE IGNORE THE BELOVED GODDESS OF ALL THE PANTHEONS IN VALHALLA?!? WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN HER WELL-BEING?!
As the human author William Congreve had penned in his book The Mourning Bride, “Heaven has no rage like love turned to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned.”
It wasn’t hard for the Greek goddess to find him…but why in the world would he come to a floating island that belonged to Apollo, let alone the exclusive hot springs that the sun god owns and ran as a business for only the wealthiest and most beautiful clients? Why would that hulking brute disappear all of a sudden as soon as he walked through the forested area…oh! Aphrodite gasped.
There.
Standing at the marbled archway leading to the hot springs was her Hashira, gazing up at the clouds overhead without a care in the world, sword sheathed at the side and a teal-colored cloth strapped to her back. It seemed to bulge from where the goddess hid behind a stone pillar…is that how Demon Slayers carried their belongings? Wrapping them up in a cloth and tying it securely to their body? Hm, perhaps a purse would make a good gift….but that isn’t important at this moment!
She wanted to see the Mist Hashira’s body. Oh, there is no doubt in her mind that it was a work of art beneath those shabby clothes! Aphrodite giggled, her voluptuous body wiggling in excitement. She watched as [First Name] blinked owlishly, then looked down at…her neck? There was a snake coiled around her neck!
Aphrodite narrowed her gaze upon the creature, fury pumping through her veins as [First Name] smiled affectionately at it, pressing a soft kiss on the top of its head before turning around to walk inside the facility. Yes…there is no mistaking the pattern on the snake’s back. That filthy abomination was Ares.
The Greek gods had the ability to transform into the animals that were sacred to them, though Zeus could become almost anything he wanted to be if it meant conquering another woman that his lustful heart desired. In Ares’ case, the vulture, the dog, and the snake were sacred animals enshrined in his temple. He preferred to be the latter when he wanted to pout or hide from others so that his reputation as a fearsome, powerful god wasn’t besmirched.
He changed into a snake more than a handful of times when they broke up. But why was he with the Mist Hashira? Did he have some private Demon Slayer business with her that needed to be discussed where no one would dare to think they’d converse? Aphrodite wasn’t sure yet she was determined to find out.
So, she took a page out of the war god’s book and transformed into a beautiful white dove, flying over to the building where an open window allowed her to enter the hot springs with no one none the wiser.
It did not take the goddess very long to find the object of her affections standing in front of the hot springs, and looking quite annoyed, at least from her hiding behind a marbled column and still in her animal form.
“Ares, are you sure there isn’t another solution? I know Apollo said these waters will help accelerate the healing process….but this is your brother we’re talking about. A preening peacock who thinks only with his dick and bragged about how he had multiple relations in this…place.” [First Name] asked, tilting her head to look down at the snake. Ares hissed, forked tongue poking out as his tiny head bobbed up and down.
[First Name] sighed, then released a small hiss of her own as her small frame hunched over ever so slightly.
Ares’ small form began quivering, no doubt panicking or trying to ask in snake language if the Mist Hashira was all right. Aphrodite watched worriedly as her love slowly walked inside, her soft voice bouncing off the walls as she spoke to the war god.
“I’m…okay. I guess my injuries were worse than I thought even with Shinobu’s treatment. There’s only so much wisteria solution that the body can handle at a time to flush the demon’s poison out. I think…I might have to rely on you a bit longer. I’m sorry.”
As soon as she sat down on a large obsidian rock and began taking off her sandals, Ares reverted back to his true form, kneeling by her side. He helped finish removing them before carrying her over to the smallest spring in the room where light filtered in from a nearby window, placing her on another heated rock. Aphrodite followed quietly, becoming herself again as well and ducking behind another pillar that allowed her to see them without the sun’s rays getting in her eyes.
She had to clamp a hand over her mouth as she watched her old lover remove the Hashira’s uniform. The goddess’ fantasy of seeing her darling’s lovely, unblemished skin shattered upon seeing bluish-purple bruises and scabs, even a few open wounds. Who would do this to [First Name]?
Furthermore, why is it that Ares can touch her body and not get kicked below the belt? And yet…seeing her so shy around him, arms trying to conceal her chest from his eyes as he carefully removed her lower garments, left completely bare…the expression was so arousing. Aphrodite wanted to see more.
Ares slowly removed the bandages that were wrapped around her body in various places, carefully inspecting the wounds before he nodded. “Okay, let’s get your hair washed first.” He then leaned down, untying the clothed satchel and pulling out a circular shaped container. Aphrodite watched with a gaping mouth as he doted on her so gently, lathering up [Hair Color] tresses until there were soapy suds and used a cloth to wash her body too.
When has he ever been this loving towards someone else besides the goddess of love? Sure, he’s had many lovers over the years…but he didn’t stare at them as if they hung the moon or stars in the sky as he gazed at the Mist Hashira. And that pissed Aphrodite off. A lot.
Once her hair and body were rinsed off, Ares kneeled down and carefully cradled [First Name] in his arms by the edge of the spring, maneuvering her so that she could slip into the water without too much trouble.
He laughed slightly as a long, dragged out sigh left the Hashira’s lips before he removed his armor and tunic. He cleaned himself up as well, washing his hair and body, before joining her in the water as well.
Aphrodite considered showing up ‘coincidentally’ crashing the relaxing moment but she stayed back, choosing to watch them instead. She wanted…no, she needed to know what was going on between these two. Ares helping [First Name] undress and wash herself seemed innocent enough as she was heavily injured….she supposed she could forgive him if he was truly helping her darling out of courtesy for a fellow warrior.
A comfortable silence fell between them. Time seemed to stand still before the Grecian deity said it would be best to get out now lest there is the risk of overheating. [First Name] looked up at him with a pout, but relented with a nod.
Ares got out first. He kneeled down as his wet, steaming arms glistened in the sun, carefully lifting the Hashira out of the water. Perfectly innocent…until [First Name] released a soft squeak, face flushed when he leaned forward and pressed his lips against the nape of her neck, coiling an arm around her waist to pull her towards him, but being gentle so that he did not irritate the wounds. He then began to nibble her neck, mouth opening and moving downwards as he began to suckle the tender flesh.
[First Name] pressed her thighs together, raising a hand to stifle the noises she was making but Ares would not allow such a small mercy to happen. Instead, he stepped backwards until he sat on the larger heated rock, pulling her into his lap and smiling as she gasped out his name, [Eye Color] orbs blown wide with embarrassment and excitement.
His calloused fingers caressed the bumps of her spine, maneuvering around the bruises that were still healing until his large hand stopped right above her rear. Ares used his other palm to tilt the Hashira’s face upwards, tucking a stray strand of wet hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek, sealing their mouths together in a kiss.
Aphrodite’s nails broke against the pillar as her hand trailed downwards. This single moment defined the relationship between her darling and that bastard Ares: lovers, just as she had been his ‘nymph’ all of those years ago, now nothing more than a fleeting memory. Her eyes widened when she heard a mewl of pleasure leave her darling’s mouth as Ares squeezed [First Name]’s rear, alternating between the cheeks, kneading the flesh or lightly spanking it.
The goddess’ body was growing warm with arousal again. Oh, she wanted…no, she needed her to make those noises again, those delicious sounds which grew louder and more wanton through Ares’ touch, [First Name]’s body arching back -
“Ah.”
That was when she heard it…she and Ares. A pained groan from the Hashira, who now quivered in the war god’s arms, the romantic tension between [First Name] and Ares evaporating in an instant. He immediately pulled his hand away. “Are you all right?” He asked.
[First Name] pouted, trying to pull him back down to her height. “I-I’m fine!”
But Ares was not convinced. He pressed his index finger to her lips, staring down at her with a soft smile till he turned away to grab a fluffy towel, wrapping it around her shoulders. “We can continue once you’re all healed. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He kissed her softly, silencing any arguments before she slumped against his frame, sweaty forehead resting against his chest with a pout. He chuckled at her childish attitude, gently stroking the crown of her head. She looked up at him and smiled.
“This trip is certainly one way to celebrate your return from another war, isn’t it?” She said, “I had heard your opponent was someone not to be taken lightly.” Ares grinned, lifting up one of his arms in the air and flexing it.
“Yes, but he was no match for me! He might have had an impressive army, but he lacked a Lady of Fortune to grant him a victory!”
“Ares, you promised not to dedicate your battle to me last time and you did it again!” [First Name] whined, smacking his chest with her palm, cheeks red with embarrassment. “I didn’t do anything to contribute to the war! You were the one who put the time and effort into improving yourself and your men!”
“Yet you were the one who criticized my footwork and didn’t stop swinging that practice sword until you were satisfied with the results.” Ares chimed in, wiggling his brow. “If I had been any lesser god, I would have not continued to come to your residence year after year to spare with you when Heracles wasn’t around, let alone bring gifts nor beg Uncle Hades for a chance to court you on the condition that it must never become public knowledge.”
“Well, you did make the practice arena collapse in on itself when my other students couldn’t.” [First Name] argued. “You proved to me that you weren’t just a clueless musclehead. You adapted to the battles much faster than I had anticipated, you did everything that I taught you. Your victory in that war…that was by your hand and your army, not mine.”
Ares tutted. “I’m afraid we will have to agree to disagree in this argument, my dearest.”
“Hm.”
Silence fell between them for a short time until the war god stood up, placing the Hashira on the rock. Grabbing the satchel, he took out two opal-colored jars, a roll of bandages, and one labeled with the single word ‘cream’, setting them down on the cloth before he began patting her skin dry. Aprhodrite watched in envy as he cleaned and applied medicine to the wounds, being as gentle as possible before wrapping them up.
In all the centuries she’d known him, Ares had always been gentle and kind….yet never to this extent, around the goddess of love and beauty. The one who listened to his victories in war, and had once been his Lady of Fortune. So why should an egotistical, self-centered man who only knew about strategy deserve to be around her Hashira?
Aphrodite would give anything to be loved by [First Name], from the finest jewels and fabrics to experiencing the true joys of the flesh, not what he had done. Mediocre, Ares. She thought with a sneer. Mediocre.
A little while later, once they were both dried off, a nymph came into the room and delivered a box into the Hashira’s hands, Ares grinning like a child who had a secret that no one else knew about. He urged her to open it. She did, and inside was a teal kimono embroidered with a wisteria pattern, a pale yellow obi, and a hairpin.
Aphrodite hated it…and yet when Ares helped [First Name] put it in, she could not deny that her darling looked dazzling in it. The color of the kimono was a perfect match to the teal ends of those lovely [Hair Color] locks.
But if it were up to her…she would be in something….well, perhaps that would be best left to the imagination, shouldn’t it?
Because one way or another, the Mist Hashira will belong to the most beautiful goddess in the universe, and her alone, even if Aphrodite would have to take a page of Zeus’ book to get what she wanted. And she always got what she wanted in the end.
Taglist:
@myrisan-melodies
@praisethesuuun
@justamegafan
@puffy-bangs
@screechingfatdragon
@nunezs-stuff
@zodiacs-web
@seii-fantasy
@friedchickenlover01
@thatstrangesheep
@themoonisrising
@onecantsimply
@mortemorii
@diamondzoey
@dance-till-the-death
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CUPID’S LAW | NEVER FALL IN LOVE
PAIRING › Play boy! Heeseung x fem! reader
SYNOPSIS › After a bland highschool experience, you immediately gravitate to your university’s most outrageous matchmaking club, “The Cupid Club.” Your job was simple: to collect information on your client’s love interest and then pair them together. After two years on your “job,” everything became less horrific and getting couples together almost seemed like a natural occurrence. That is until you’re tasked to collect information on Lee Heeseung, the infamous rugby captain who is coincidently known as the biggest player on campus.
GENRE› college au, angst (I said it was major angst in the preview, but after writing it, I realized that it’s not actually that sad), consultant! reader x rugby captain! Heeseung, heartbreak, crack, fluff
WARNING(S) › swearing, heavy drinking, mentions of sex
WORDCOUNT › 18.4k (I apologize beforehand)
NOTES › This is my entry for @jungwoniics ’ “just out of reach” collab
Love was an unexplained phenomenon that entwined souls together. It was an experience of rather difficult trifles which blossomed into ultimate bliss. To be with someone you found truly admirable and to lead a life with them for as many years as they lasted was society’s idea of a dream come true. Love seemed to be something like a goal to people, while to others, it was rather a burden. To you, it was a lackluster ordeal filled with complications and hurdles — an experience you didn’t want to indulge in.
You hated when September strolled along. Every autumn leaf gracefully leaving the comfort of the branches to experience the harsh winter chills yet again this cycle. It was similar to all the young adults who traveled distances away from the warmth of their homes to lead a rather dreadful college life.
The giddy freshmen were always entertaining to watch. The yearning they all had to start fresh, lead a new life, to grow, and become a part of society.
That is what college was
A greater look into society.
You had grown weary of the customs of welcoming newcomers to the school. Their excitement clearly not phasing you in the slightest. The way they would greet you and ask you for directions. You had found them cute before, but now, you couldn’t spare another waking moment guiding a freshman through the halls, introducing them to every passing professor you came across. You had grown tired. People made you tired.
In freshman year, you joined the school’s consulting club, “the Cupids Club.” You found the name rather stupid, but the more you grew to understand the club, the more fitting it seemed to be. It wasn’t any consulting club — it consisted of bringing two people together, two people who failed to communicate their feelings to one another. The heavy burden of match-making was one of the stress-inducing activities in addition to your own school work. Yet, you found it intriguing to bring people together and watch them form a special bond with each other.
Your job was simple, to analyze the receiver of love. To learn about their dislikes and likes, hobbies, and any other useless pieces of information. Your job was to convey these pieces of information to the person consulting you for assistance. It was a simple job.
So what made it so difficult?
You grew to realize that freshmen were the worst clients. All of them fresh into college and wanting to obtain and secure their significant other without their parent’s constant blabbing. Freshmen had the highest expectation. Once a first-year finds out about the school’s Cupid club, the rest of the freshmen automatically know too. And with so much attention and desire, they were never kind with their requests. Their demands strayed too high, and most of them went for unobtainable matches.
For example, Lee Heeseung.
The lad wasn’t exactly unobtainable. He was rather easy to woo, but he wasn’t easy to keep.
You had received a total of twenty requests, asking for you to set them up with Mr. Lee Heeseung before Valentine's day. Except there was an issue.
You knew nothing about the boy.
Sure, you had heard of him before. Most of the requests regarding him were given to students in his year to manage. You were a year below Heeseung, and the only thing you could conclude about the boy was that he was a gigantic player.
“Could you please set him up with me before Valentine's day, please?” The younger girl with strawberry blonde hair squirmed in her chair, looking up at you with her doll-like eyes. “I heard you’re one of the best consultants here and I really like him. So you’ll be able to do it right?”
How many times have you heard the same phrases of flattery that slipped out of their lying mouths? Praises, bribes, and baseless words — they used anything to earn a simple yes from you. You rejected everything of course, because all you cared for was someone genuine.
And that person came.
She was a year older than you, the same age as Heeseung. The girl had short beige hair and braids that pulled her hair into a half ponytail. She wasn’t very tall, but the girl was gorgeous. The way her eyes curved into crescent moons when she smiled made you almost envious. She spoke in a soft whispering tone and requested politely, unlike the previous girls who demanded your service.
“Um, hi,” the girl nervously tucked her side bangs behind her ear, looking at the floor. Her entire face was tomato red. “Could I request a favour?”
She was cute. The way she looked away, avoiding eye contact. She was the type of girl every boy wanted as a significant other. The girl didn’t even explain her whole situation, and you already felt the need to help her — to pair her up with whoever she had been yearning for.
“Yeah, of course!” You rested your chin on your palm, waiting for her to muster up the courage to tell you about her crush. “Just tell me your situation and who this person is.”
“Oh right! Well, I’ve liked him ever since freshman year. I met him in one of my classes and he, uh… he lent me a pencil. I mean, I don’t like him because of that! He’s really charming and good-looking. But the issue is, he’s popular and I doubt he even knows who I am. I heard… I heard he’s a player too.” She mumbled, fidgeting with the latch of her tote bag.
Okay, what was with these absolute catches liking the worst kinds of people? After a few years of this whole cupid consultant shit, you’ve come to notice how unfair it was — The way the best people were always attracted to the shittiest men.
“Oh no, not a player,” you sighed, scribbling the info down on your notepad. “Oh, I forgot to ask, your name is?”
“Yeeun. Jung Yeeun.”
Did she just say Jung Yeeun? Your eyebrows furrowed in absolute shock. “Jung Yeeun? As in the literature gold Medalist Jung Yeeun?” Your jaw was probably on the floor right now, but that didn’t matter when someone with such achievements stood in front of you.
“Oh… yeah.” The girl blushed, looking down at her fingers.
Gosh, she was cute. You found it odd how her mysterious crush hadn’t noticed her throughout these years. After all, she was the Jung Yeeun, and she was absolutely stunning.
“Oh my god. Um, this is so off-topic, but I really admire your work! The way your words flow and the way you intertwine emotions into your writing. Honestly, you’re amazing.” You were truly giddy to finally meet the faceless writer you had been admiring ever since freshman year.
“Oh what? You admire my work?” The girl gasped, looking up at you with her round doe eyes once again. “I don’t know what to say. It means so much to me!”
This time, you gave her a genuine smile. She was the first person this semester to come to you with such courtesy, plus she was talented and so warmhearted? You had struck gold with her and you couldn’t wait to provide any necessary help. “Of course! I’ll also do my best to help you with your crush!”
“Really? I don’t have to appeal or tell you more about my situation?”
“Nope, I just need his name and we’ll be set!” Out of all the clients you “interviewed,” she was the only one who appealed to you, and genuinely, even though it had only been a few minutes, you wanted the best for her. “Also, we can set up a date for weekly meetings so I can forward to you any information I’ve learned about them. Of course, I’ll give you advice too, since that’s my job.”
“What? You’re so kind! I don’t know how to thank you enough.”
“No need,” you grinned, writing her name in your notebook. “I’ll make sure to take the most detailed notes on them to help you the best way I can.”
“Well…” Yeeun trailed off.
“His name is Heeseung. Lee Heeseung.”
What?
Out of everyone it could’ve been, it was him? The infamous senior, Lee Heeseung?
“Is there something wrong?” Yeeun panicked, moving her hand up and down in front of your face to bring you back to your senses. You could tell she was worried for you as your expression suddenly dropped upon hearing his name. “You look a bit pale, Yn.”
“Oh haha,” you chuckled nervously, clearing your throat in the process. “I was just shocked to hear his name. In all honesty, I think you can do better. I heard he’s a trashy person.”
“No, that’s what I heard too. But from the small conversations we had back in class, I think otherwise. He seems misunderstood.” Yeeun forced a smile, attempting to reassure you as you shook your head in disappointment.
One of those “I can change him” situations again. You sighed, writing the boy’s name in your notes along with Yeeun’s information. “Well, you’re right. I don’t know him so I can’t form an opinion on him from what I heard. But anyway, I will try my best to make things work.”
“Thank you, Yn. You’re so kind.”
You were tasked with gathering information about this popular senior boy, and it wasn’t hard. The first person you consulted was Ryujin, your best friend, who was a year older than you, a senior.
“Oh gosh, your client wants Heeseung?” She inched backward in disgust. “He’s literally the worst person to have a crush on. He can’t commit for shit, plus he’s a whole-ass player who has no sense of pity for his former flings. But I mean, it really isn’t hard to earn his favour.”
Your interest perked up after hearing Ryujin’s last sentence. She had rambled for an entire hour about the boy already and said nothing particularly intriguing until now. “And how would someone quote — unquote earn his favour?”
“Frankly, it’s quite simple,” Ryujin smirked, holding up two fingers. “One, show up to one of his or his drunkard friend’s frat party. Two, wear some skimpy dress and seduce the man. He’s quite simple. It makes me gag.”
Shaking off the utter disgust on your face, you rolled your eyes at your friend’s words. What had you expected? Some player with a heart of gold who just hadn’t found their soulmate? You probably spent too much time burying your nose in romance novels to see what reality was like. Even with a position as a love consultant, most of your pairings had worked out and your efforts had never gone to waste. But this time, Yeeun’s request seemed almost fruitless. “Gosh, why did I just know?”
“I mean, he is a player, after all. He’s easy to woo but hard to keep. Your poor client is definitely in a rough spot. But I don’t really know too much about him, so I can’t really speak on his actions.”
“You literally spent the whole past hour roasting the dude.” You scoffed at your friend in amusement.
“Well, I mean, after everything I’ve heard about him, I can’t help it.” The older girl smirked, pushing through the doors of the library. “I mean, I heard there’s a game after school. Maybe we can go together and you can analyze him then.”
“A game? He’s an athlete?”
“Yn, you really are clueless about this man, huh?”
“Maybe.”
—
Tying your hair in a simple ponytail, you grabbed the pale white tote bag that consisted of your notebook, where you kept all your client notes. You leaned against the doorframe of the washroom, tapping your fingers on the marble sink as you waited for Ryujin to finish straightening her hair. “Girl, are you trying to impress someone today? Like you look too good for a simple game.”
Ryujin shot you a sly smirk before returning to straighten the locks that fell to the left side of her face. “Your flattery is giving me too much confidence sis, but maybe.”
You sighed at the girl’s words. “So the truth is, you dragged me to this game just to accompany you, so you could flirt with some jock? I mean, I’m willing to be your emotional support, but girl, I’d rather off myself instead of watching you attempt to flirt.”
“Hey! I'm good at flirting! Plus, you needed to come anyway, right? You need to analyze Mr. Lee Heeseung.” The girl sang, unplugging the straightener. You had to remind yourself that Ryujin was rather popular and had a consistent social life, unlike you, who spent hours crying into your textbooks and a hundred pages of notes.
“Whatever. Shouldn’t we get going?” You cocked your head to the side as you watched your friend put on her dangly silver earrings. “I mean, it starts in twenty minutes, doesn’t it?”
“It’s literally around the corner. It takes five minutes to walk there. No need to rush.” The girl winked at you. “But you’re right, we should head there a few minutes early.” She quickly snatched the beige purse that hung on walls near the entrance, dragging you with her at the same time.
You slipped on your shoes as fast as you could to match Ryujin’s pace. She was definitely excited about seeing this game, and you just couldn’t feel the same way. Something about Yeeun’s request rubbed you the wrong way. Of course, it wasn’t the girl, but it was Heeseung himself. The thought of you getting them together only to have him cheat his way out of the relationship digested you to the max. The last thing you wanted was for Yeeun to get hurt. She was a sweet girl who deserved more than a half-hearted man who had a new fling every day of the week.
“You must be in deep concentration right now.” Ryujin smacked you on the back, bringing you back to reality. “Like hello? Girl, did you even notice that we’re almost there already?” Your eyes scanned your surroundings. The green grass below your feet and the bleachers that stood a few meters away from you definitely signified that you both were close to the playing field.
You hadn’t even noticed riding the elevator down, or heck, even locking the door because of your wandering thoughts. “Oh shit Ryu, did you lock the door?”
The girl scoffed and gave you a lazy grin. “Who do you think I am? Obviously, I had to take it upon myself since you were so wound up in your dreamland.”
“Dreamland my ass,” You rolled your eyes before clutching your friend’s arm, proceeding up the steps of the bleachers. “Where shall we sit?”
Ryujin dragged you back down and slowly approached the very front row, close to where the rugby team was getting ready. “Here obviously! You’re kinda blind, plus I have my reasons.”
“Girl, what the fuck?” You mumbled as you sat down next to Ryujin on the mini tarp she had put on the metal bleachers before sitting down. Right in front of you was the rugby team, some doing push-ups to warm up and some leaning against the bleachers talking to the cheerleaders.
“Shitt you actually came? Honestly, I didn't expect to see you here.” A boy with silver hair approached you and Ryujin while leaning against the tiny fence that separated the bleachers from the playing field. “And you brought a friend with you too? How interesting.”
“Cut the bullshit, Park,” Ryujin snapped. “I didn’t come here to listen to your nasally ass remarks. Kindly turn the fuck around and focus on your game.” She fakely smiled, gesturing for the boy to face around.
“Aw, you know you don’t have to act so hard to get.” The boy called “Park” chuckled. “But you, what’s your name?” He turned his attention to you, eyebrows raised in anticipation.
“It’s Yn, and I think my friend wants you to leave.”
The boy smirked in amusement, twirling his helmet with both his hands. “Oh, she’s feisty. You two make quite the combination.” This “Park” boy had only been standing in front of the two of you for a few seconds and you already wanted to slap the playful grin off his face. From the way he carried himself, you knew he was one of those boys too.
“Yeah, did you not hear her? Piss off, Park.” Ryujin shooed the boy, who only winked at her before making his way toward his teammates.
“Who the fuck-“
“Yes, I know you’re gonna ask questions Yn, I’ll explain.” Ryujin placed her hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile. The girl had told you everything about her life, but somehow this menace named “Park” was never mentioned in any of her stories. “That was Park Sunghoon, one of Heeseung's best buddies. He’s been trying to, I guess, ‘pursue me’ ever since freshman year? But of course, I rejected him every time. Yes, as you know, I have dated many people, but you will never catch me dead with one of those jocks, especially not Park Sunghoon.”
Park Sunghoon? Now his name sounded familiar.
You had heard his name slip through the mouths of many students roaming the hallways, but never matched his face to his name. He was well known throughout campus and was labeled the “deathly heartthrob.” Mainly because he never actually got into relationships. He was only an advocate for one-night stands, and friends with benefits, nothing else. The boy drew the line and only ever had physical interactions, never emotional.
“Oh, he’s Park Sunghoon,” you nodded your head, mentally connecting all the dots in your head. “Wait, but aren’t you trying to pursue some jock?”
“That’s a different story.” Ryujin inched closer to you, placing her hand over your ear before whispering. “You see, the boy over there?” She pointed ever so slightly at a boy in an oversized leather jacket who was holding a yellow water bottle.
“The yellow water bottle boy?” You questioned, squinting your eyes for a better view.
“Yeah, he’s the new manager on the team and he’s hella fine. Don’t you think so?”
You turned around to face Ryujin before throwing her a sarcastic grin. “Well, as you said, I'm blind, so I can’t see shit.”
The girl hit you gently, cackling at your response.
Before you could revert your focus to whatever was going on on the field, your eyes landed on a particular boy with raven black hair who was staring right back at you. His eyes seemed to pierce through your gaze, freezing you on the spot. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t even breathe in the presence of his stare. He was just a simple rugby jock who had both hands lazily tucked into his side pockets. So what made his gaze so enticing? Was it the way he looked at you? Or was it the way he licked his lips while shooting you a sly smirk?
“Who the fuck is that?” You shook Ryujin right after the boy shifted his vision elsewhere.
“Which one? You’re literally staring into a crowd of men.” She remarked, waiting for you to point to whoever this dude was.
“The one over there. The tall one with the parted black hair.” You motioned your head towards the boy’s direction, afraid to point or make any more unnecessary eye contact.
“Oh, that one?” Ryujin grinned. “That’s Mr. Play boy. Your target of today.”
That was Lee Heeseung?
The boy with the almost dangerous stare? Your heart fell into your stomach. You could already tell by the way his lips curved up into a sly smirk that Lee Heeseung was trouble.
Quickly pulling out your notebook, you began to scribble down your observations of the boy, who stood amused at your actions. He had diverted his gaze back to you a minute ago, only to see you frantically ask your friend a question and then proceed to pull out a notepad.
The buzzer blared throughout the court, signaling the beginning of the game, and the boys rushed to their positions, waiting for the game to commence. You always thought rugby was an odd sport — the aggressive shoving, and the constant growling. You a hundred percent preferred football. A few minutes of passing the ball had gone by before you grew bored, aggravated by the icy wind that kept blowing your hair in your face, blocking your view. You had to focus on Heeseung, but all you could get out of this game was that he was stubborn. The way he played, constantly trying to score points for his team, and the way he shoved members of the opposing team with his brute force without looking back — Heeseung always got what he wanted. You could tell from the simple expression he had on his face, eyes hungry and full of desire.
A stubborn man who always got his way. The worst kind to deal with.
The final buzzer went off, signaling the conclusion of the game. Your school won and you were anything but surprised. The only extra information you got out of coming to tonight’s game was that Heeseung seemed to be the captain of the team, and Ryujin sucked ass at flirting. Before you could jot your concluding thoughts down, you heard your friend clearing her throat as she slightly nudged you. She was standing up, arms entwined with the yellow water bottle boy, and she looked down at you, eyes practically begging. “Yn, is it okay if you head back to the dorms yourself? Here, I can give you the keys.” She rummaged through her purse, pulling out her metal keys with the bear keychain you had gifted her for her birthday. “I’m just gonna be out for a little longer. Is that okay?” She was giving you puppy eyes now.
You sighed, chuckling at your friend’s words. You weren’t going to stop her from getting with someone she fancied just because you were scared to walk back yourself. What kind of friend would you even call yourself if you ruined her chances just because the dark gave you chills? “No problem, give me a call if you need anything!” You smiled, gesturing for her to go ahead before shifting your attention back to your notes.
“Captain of the team, strong-willed I guess, stubborn.” You mumbled to yourself, listing down every piece of information you detected through tonight’s game.
“Having fun writing my name into your death note?” A low voice spoke, startling you. Instinctively, you brought your notebook to your chest, guarding the information you had gathered. You were never to share your notes with anyone but your clients. Even Ryujin hadn’t had the chance to skim through your notebook.
Your eyes landed on a particular raven-haired boy, who leaned teasingly against the fence. His hair wasn’t perfectly parted anymore, it was rather messy and dripping with sweat. Good thing the boy had a towel around his neck. Or else you’d probably scoot away from him.
Or would you?
He was a good meter away from you, and your eyes instinctively fell to his facial features, his tall nose bridge, his tanned complexion which seemed to glisten under the stadium light, and his lips.
His lips? What the fuck were you thinking?
You slightly gasped, realizing the situation you were in. Heeseung stood in front of you, staring at your every flicker of emotion and movement. Once again, your mind ran blank, unable to move or think.
“I’m joking,” the boy chuckled. “What are you writing so attentively that you only looked up at the game a few times?”
He had noticed every time that you spent jotting down notes instead of watching the game? What the hell? Did this man have eyes on the back of his head?
“It’s none of your concern.” You spoke forcefully, shoving your notebook into your bag.
“Did you find the game boring?” The boy snickered, his intense gaze not leaving yours.
“Maybe I did.” You got up, getting ready to leave.
Heeseung wasn’t going to let you leave at that moment. “Then what interests you?” The boy asked, looking up at you while leaning closer. Did this boy not understand the concept of personal space, or did he just lack awareness? Though you were standing up, you still felt the way his cocky grin held you down, forcing you to stay.
“Probably not you.” You snapped back at the boy. He emanated so much confidence and somehow, he had a hold on you, and you wanted nothing more than to run away.
“But didn’t you just get ditched by your friend?” He raised his eyebrows, unknowingly provoking you even more. “I mean, I must be quite interesting since you’re still here answering my questions.”
Number one of why you hated men of his kind. In their minds, the world revolves around them and every little thing that is of convenience to them; they use to further latch onto in order to get whatever they want. Heeseung knew how to talk, and you already knew you hated his guts.
“Right.” You gave him a fake smile before turning your back on the boy. “Well, maybe you were interesting, but your words are boring me, so do me a favour and shut your mouth.” You remarked, giving him one last wave before leaving the premise of his lurking gaze. It took you lots of confidence to tell people to shut up, but with him, it came naturally.
ENTRY LOG #1
First day of analyzing Lee Heeseung and he’s an absolute menace. He’s the stereotypical frat boy who has way too much time on his hands. An absolute rake. Though besides that, he is the captain of the school’s rugby team and is very dedicated to winning. From the way he carries himself, he seems to be very confident, but he’s also very skilled with his words. He knows how to charm people, and that may be a dangerous sign. However, this is just an outlook on the boy as he did not show any of his true personality — unless this is what his true personality is, a shitty playboy jock.
The next time you saw Heeseung was on campus near the library. He was walking through the greenery area with his arms latched around two girls who wore short pleated skirts and heels too high for a simple lecture day. You totally understood dressing up, as you tried to dress your best during your first year of university. But ten-inch heels were a different story. They had their arms around him, either coddling his waist or his chest. You tried your best not to barf up this morning's breakfast, as the sight was triggering an awful churning in your stomach. Before you could turn your attention elsewhere, his eyes met yours and the same smirk found its way to his lips. You rolled your eyes at him before going off on your way. That was until the menace strolled up in front of you with his hands in his pocket.
“Enjoying the view so much, you had to stop and stare at me for a full minute?” He chuckled, walking backward since you hadn’t stopped walking forward. The cocky grin never left his face and your urge to push him off a cliff didn’t either.
“I thought I recognized one of the girls that you were with.” You blatantly lied, thinking of the first excuse that came to mind. “Speaking of the girls, where did they go?”
Heeseung’s grin only grew bigger at your lame excuse. His arms came to stop you from proceeding forward. “Don’t you know it’s rude to walk away from someone when they’re trying to strike up an ethical conversation? They left after I told them I had something more interesting to do.” He smirked. “Plus, you suck at lying, don’t you? Your eyes dart whenever you lie. Did you know?”
He was damn good at analyzing people, and you knew he’d probably use that to impress the girls on campus who seemed to faint from his presence. “Morally ethical, huh? Sorry to burst your bubble, but nothing about you is morally ethical.”
“Oh, is that so?” Heeseung inched closer to you, and after quite a few steps back, you found your heels hitting the walls. There was no more space for you to back up against, and the sly smirk never left his face as he proceeded to step forward. He now only stood a few inches away from you — way too close for a mere stranger. “And how would you know?”
“I don’t,” you spat before harshly nudging the boy backward. “Just leave me alone, will you?” You mumbled, watching the boy stumble backward, amused by your actions.
“And would you like to?” Heeseung still managed to speak after you clearly rejected his advances. “You know I’m really good with my-“
“Shut your trap Heeseung.” You hissed, once again attempting to escape the awkward situation.
“You said my name for the first time!” He spoke enthusiastically. “The way it rolls off your tongue sounds really nice. You should say it more often!” He smirked, leaning back against the wall, not attempting to chase you.
You didn’t even bother glancing back at the boy, knowing if you did, you would be met with his painfully attractive smirk. Instead, you flipped the boy your middle finger.
Your seat in the consulting office behind the desk felt rather odd. You hadn’t found out anything revolutionizing or world-changing about the boy, but you still sat in your seat — waiting for Yeeun to prance in and listen to all the information you collected. You honestly had nothing to say that was worthy of her time, and you even thought about canceling your appointment. That was only until you saw the girl push her way through the library doors, on her way to visit you in the small room you had in the quiet space.
“Yn!” she exclaimed as soon as she set foot in the room. “I was so excited for today I barely could eat! My stomach is churning! It’s so thrilling!”
You offered the girl a forced chuckle before flipping open your notebook. “Well, you see…” You trailed off, not knowing where to start. “To be honest, since it’s only been a few days and I haven’t really gotten the chance to see him much? But from the information I gathered, he seems to be a very head-strong person who’s very dedicated to his own craft.”
“Oh, no worries!” The smaller girl giggled. “Even hearing about his achievements makes me happy. You know he’s the captain of the rugby team, right? Isn’t that so cool? I wish I could’ve attended his game a few days back, but I had prior arrangements.”
You were almost glad she hadn’t come. What would be the outcome of her seeing Heeseung’s eyes glued onto you throughout the entire game like you had a target on your back? Or maybe, if she did come, his eyes would be on her instead.
“Yes, he’s a very high achieving person. But besides that, he seems like he’s an easy person to strike up a conversation with. So that’s a win for you, right?” You smiled at her enthusiasm. She really liked him, didn’t she? Even talking about him made the corner of her lips perk up into a shy smile.
“Yes, yes, it is. He won’t get bored with me if I can’t think of anything to say, right?”
You rolled your eyes before chuckling at your innocent upperclassman. “Of course Yeeun! He’ll be the one that won’t be able to shut up.”
Yeeun giggled at your comment and checked her phone quickly. “I actually have a short meeting today, so I may have to cut our appointment a little short. Is that okay?”
You gave the girl an affirming smile. “Of course, I didn’t really have too much information today anyway. But next week at the same time?”
She nodded, pushing her chair in before waving at you and exiting the room.
You let out a sigh of relief, organizing your notes before you, too, decided to exit this stuffy room. The library was a big, bright place full of windows and you didn’t want to be cooped up in a room with no natural light whatsoever.
As soon as you locked the door of the consulting office, you felt a strong gaze on the back of your head.
Maybe you should’ve stayed in the room.
“I should consider myself lucky, right? I was dreading coming here, but it seems like it’ll be quite entertaining instead.” His voice was loud enough for the reception desk to send the two of you glares.
“Why the hell do I always bump into you? Are you sure you’re not following me or something?” You wanted to curse him out for his timing. If he had come just a few minutes earlier, you could’ve perfectly set him up with Yeeun.
Heeseung scoffed at your assumption. Him following you? Why would he ever do that? “You can daydream all you want, sweetheart, but sorry to break it to you. I wasn’t.”
You, happy with his answer, gave the boy a sarcastic smile. “Oh, is that so? Well then, if you don’t mind, I’ll take my leave now.”
Maybe Heeseung did want to follow you right now as his hand quickly grabbed your wrist, turning you back around. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t think I’ve made it clear enough. I’m going A W A Y. F R O M. Y O U.” You annotated every word with a certain passive-aggressiveness.
“I’ll tag along then.” He grinned. “You’re walking towards the back tables of the library. Near the windows, am I right?”
Shaking your wrist out of his grip, you turned around once again. “I don’t think I ever invited you.”
The boy stood staring at you as you made your way to the far back corner of the library, settling your books on the desk. You were decently surprised when he didn’t follow you.
Or so you thought.
“Who needs an invitation?” Heeseung dragged the chair across from you over to your side as he plopped down and leaned on the tabletop, way too close to your face. “It’s a public space, am I right?”
How many times had he done this already? Invading your personal space without giving a single fuck about how you felt.
But how did you feel?
You felt his hot breath hitting the nape of your neck, and you watched how his long eyelashes fluttered as he opened and closed his eyes. He was good-looking; you had to admit that. But you had no interest whatsoever.
Right?
“Move, you literally could sit anywhere else.” You shoved the boy slightly.
Unfazed by your attitude, he only chuckled, making your rage grow. “You know, if it were any other girl, they’d be begging for me to stay, right?”
“Oh, is that so? Well, then what should I do, huh? Apologize?” You spat, annoyed with his entitled attitude.
“Nah, you should do something else.” He leaned back in his chair while crossing his arms.
“And what is that?”
“Let me see what you were writing in your diary the other day.” He smirked, raising his eyebrow in amusement as he awaited your answer.
“First of all, it’s not a diary. Second, I wasn’t writing about you, and third, I have a right to privacy for my belongings.”
“Then if you’re not gonna show me your notebook or whatever, let me stay here.” He shot you a winning grin, placing his phone on the table to secure his spot.
“You did that just so you could stay, huh?” He always had a way with his words and your desire to punch him only grew.
“Oh, looks like I’ve been caught red-handed, huh?” He chuckled, leaning back on the table and staring at your constantly changing expressions. It would be an understatement to say that Heeseung enjoyed the way you talked to him. He had never felt such a thrill in his life other than the first time he rebelled against his parents in high school. You were bringing that spark back into his life and he didn’t want it to extinguish.
You shifted uncomfortably, directing your gaze back to the stack of textbooks you had brought with you for studying purposes. “What are you gonna get out of staying here and wasting your life away?” You mumbled, quite bothered by his presence.
He smiled, placing his finger on his chin whilst pretending to ponder. Maybe it was the sunlight hitting his face, but your gaze only remained on his eyes that shone a golden brown in the light. They glittered when he blinked, and somehow you felt time freeze once more. How many times had this boy made you feel like the revolving word had stopped? You were in a stupid library, contemplating if you should study, yet here you are, staring into some boy’s eyes while he pretended to think of some excuse.
Thank god he was looking away, or else you’d definitely be receiving a mouthful from him.
“I’m gonna watch you study. Maybe I’ll pick up some studying habits?” He blurted out after a good three minutes.
You scoffed, looking away after he had met your gaze again. “That doesn’t sound too fitting to your character.”
“I’m pretty sure you have to get to know someone before you fully judge their character. Am I right, miss cupid?”
Miss cupid?
Had he known you were part of the cupids club, spending your spare time matchmaking?
Or worse. Did he know your client was gunning for him?
“I heard you were in some matchmaking club. But I highly doubt that seeing the way you interact.” Heeseung remarked, playing with your pad of colourful sticky notes.
“So you’re a stalker?!” you gasped.
“No, I-I’m not!”
—
Maybe it wasn’t that bad — having Heeseung accompany you. He spent hours taking turns from staring at you, then to your textbook. Sometimes the boy would lean in to stare at your notes and you could feel your cheeks heating up at the proximity. You had slapped yourself a couple of times, snapping yourself out of this unfamiliar daze. It felt almost improper to spend time with your client’s love interest. But you were glad now. The sun had set and Heeseung was slumped over the table, sleeping comfortably on the stack of your textbooks. You giggled at the sight. Somehow, he looked almost innocent and unlike his regular smug self. His body moved up and down slightly. You didn’t want to bother the boy who was sleeping so soundly — but he was lying on top of your textbooks. It wouldn’t hurt if you just tapped him awake, right? Just as your hand approached to grab your books, the boy groaned slightly, wrapping his arms tightly around the stack of your textbooks. You almost let out a loud laugh as you saw the boy bringing the textbooks closer to him to get more comfortable. Who knew the infamous rugby captain needed to cuddle something to fall asleep?
You decided not to wake the boy as he would probably get cranky or start throwing a fit. You had enough of the boy’s attitude for a day — frankly for the rest of your life. Taking off the jacket you had, you placed it gently on his broad shoulders before you stuck the small post-it-note you had written a few minutes ago in front of him, on the table.
You fell asleep :/// See; I told you that you should’ve done something better with your time! You could’ve gone to a party or even practiced your sport, but instead, you spent your time here! Also, I hope you don’t drool on my textbooks; they were hella expensive. I didn’t take them because I didn’t wanna wake you up. Return those to me tomorrow and bring my jacket too! (Yes, I left my jacket for you. Not because I care for you, but because it actually gets really chilly since they turn on the AC :( whatever, just make sure you return everything.)
And what you didn’t know was that Heeseung didn’t care about “wasting time,” because all he really desired was to rest — escape from all the burdens and titles he carried.
ENTRY LOG #2
Heeseung seems to be bearable when he’s not trying to sweet talk. His conversations, besides that, are actually genuine. He also seems to have ears everywhere. Whenever he wants to know something, he’ll be able to get stacks of information on that person. Besides that, he’s pretty entertaining? I think he just needs someone that genuinely likes him for him, instead of for his outlook. He may seem all “I’m the best” and flirty, but something tells me his smiles aren’t genuine. He needs someone to appreciate him for who he is… and Yeeun is perfect.
You had spent hours the next few days working on your midterm seminar with your group mates, who didn’t seem to comprehend the importance of this group assignment. Meets ups happened frequently and your group mates listened well to your instructions. However, when they were off on their own to complete their personal assigned sections, most of them would slack off until the last minute. As the final slide organizer, you spent most of your time waiting for your group mates to hand in their completed parts to insert into the slides.
But it was already 11:30pm, and you were so close to crashing on the library desk you had been sitting at for the past four hours. Tapping your fingers impatiently, you opened and closed your text messages with your group members, hoping someone would send something in. You all had agreed on sending in your parts before 10pm, ensuring you had enough time to organize everything and get a good night of sleep before the seminar tomorrow morning. However, there wasn’t a single peep from your group mates and it was already halfway to twelve. Feeling the weight of all the stress, your eyelids began to grow heavy. A short nap wouldn’t harm you, and there was nothing better to do anyway. Setting your alarm for 12:30 am, you rested your head onto your forearm as you dozed off into dreamland.
—
Heeseung found it hard to stay at home. The boy was bombarded with nonstop noise coming from every corner of the house. On a normal day, he wouldn’t be bothered by the constant arguing between Jake and his girlfriend or the loud ass giggles coming from Sunghoon’s room. But today, all he felt was his shooting headache, and the noise surrounding him only added to his agony. He needed to get out.
The first thing that came to mind was the therapeutic library environment he had experienced while watching you cram for your seminar. Yearning for the same feeling, he found himself stuffing his keys in his jacket pocket as he decided to take a little night walk to the University’s library. The walls of windows would probably look even more stunning with the moonlight shining through.
Yes, he wanted to experience the same feeling he had the last time, but he didn’t expect to see you slumped over on the same table, sleeping soundly. Smiling to himself, the boy sat down in the seat across from you, watching as your body rose up and down slightly. In his eyes, you were constantly busy with no down time whatsoever. He had always wondered if you could get sufficient sleep every day. You rarely had nights where you would get enough rest, and Heeseung could tell. You wouldn’t be dozing off in the school’s library if you weren’t swamped with loads of work.
Maybe it was the way you gripped onto the edge of your laptop, hugging it like a pillow, but Heeseung couldn’t help but feel a need to protect you, to shield you away from all the bad in the world. The boy spent the next ten minutes staring out the window, accompanying you as you slept. Just from sitting in silence, he could feel his headache slowly creeping away.
The slight buzz of his phone startled him, shaking him from his short-lived relaxation. It was a text from Jake.
Jake: Hey sorry bro. I heard you leaving, and I figured it was because of the noise. She’s gone now, so you’re free to come back.
Just as he was about to ignore the text and return to his little moment of bliss, his phone buzzed once more.
Jake: Actually, you should come back now. There’s a fucking cockroach in the washroom and Sunghoon is busy having fun in his room. I ain’t tryna see him naked, so comeback and kill this roach.
Heeseung figured Jay had already gone to sleep and Jake was probably crouching in the bathroom, staring the roach down, watching its every move. Sunghoon was practically useless when it came to bugs. Even if he wasn’t preoccupied, he wouldn’t lift a finger to kill the bug. Sighing, Heeseung quietly stood up from his chair, trying his best not to wake you. This time he’d return the favour. Taking off his jacket, he carefully placed it over your shoulders.
As he was about to leave, his eyes landed on the same pad of sticky notes he had fidgeted with the last time he watched you study. Grabbing the pen from your unzipped pencil case, he scribbled a quick note before placing it on the top of your laptop. Heeseung wished he could stay for longer, but he knew Jake would grill him nonstop if he didn’t return to kill a small fucking bug.
—
Your alarm rang, the buzzing shaking you awake. Maybe taking a brief nap was a good idea because you woke up to blaring notifications from your group chat, sending you the completed work, and a small pink sticky note.
A small pink sticky note?
This wasn’t here when you fell asleep.
And neither was the black jean jacket that was carefully wrapped around your shoulders.
You're practically drooling on your laptop. What if it burns? Aren’t you proud that I didn’t wake you up? I know you would probably start scolding me for being out here at such ungodly hours, but you too??? What are you doing, sleeping in such an unsafe spot? Sorry I couldn’t stay, but I left my jacket with you since you said it gets chilly. Hopefully, this makes up for the last time. I returned the favour, but you don’t have to return the jacket. Keep it. Anyway, go to the lounge on the second floor when you wake up. There are pillows there and it’ll be much more comfortable to sleep there. Don’t go home. It’s late, and it’s unsafe to travel alone. You can head back when the sun rises, but not when it's pitch black outside, okay?
Oh also, I usually carry chocolate in my pocket (don’t ask why). There should be a Hersey’s bar in the pocket of my Jean jacket. Eat it, okay?
Heeseung had been here? Why was he out so late? Why did he come to the library?
You had many questions, but the main issue you had to deal with wasn’t the lack of answers, but the smile forming on your face as you read his note. Your heart was beating a little faster than usual, but you still sat there, oblivious to your own feelings.
After the library incident, you bumped into Heeseung quite frequently. Every day, he’d find a way to make an appearance in your life, even if it was just sending you a playful wink as you passed each other on campus. When not surrounded by girls or his weird druggy friends, he would often strike up a conversation with you, even if you tried to push him away. He enjoyed teasing you, and somehow, it didn’t feel quite as odd as it did before.
“Your outfit is quite nice.” He commented, leaning against the column. He scanned you up and down before shooting you one of his signature smirks.
“Don’t look at me like that. I internally puke every time.” You faked a gag, waving the boy off.
“Did you think I was checking you out? Because you don’t have to worry, there’s nothing to check out.” He cackled, pushing himself off the column and towards you. “Where are you headed today? The library again?”
You hummed in response. “I have an appointment.”
Heeseung’s interest immediately piqued. “Oh right! I forgot I was talking to Miss Cupid here. Who’s your client? I’m curious.”
It was against the rules to tell him about your client, especially when he was the target. “I’m not gonna tell you. It’s confidential information.”
Usually, Heeseung would just laugh it off and leave you off to your own business, but today, he found it extremely hard not to meddle. The boy pushed you against the lockers, staring at you with his eyebrows furrowed. He somehow felt annoyed by the fact that you were going to ditch him for your client right after he got the chance to talk to you.
“H-Heeseung? What are you doing?” You gasped at the sudden impact of your back hitting the lockers. His expression had suddenly dropped, and you were left confused as to why he was so angry and why he had shoved you against some locker.
The boy only moved closer, placing his hand on the wall of lockers beside you. His breath was practically fanning your lips at this point. You squeezed your eyes shut. It was an instinct. There was something about the way he was staring at you that made you feel almost small and weak.
Heeseung was confused. Was it jealousy? Was he jealous of your stupid client that got to spend time with you? It seemed like every time he had a chance to speak to you, you would attempt to blow him off as soon as possible. Mostly, when he wanted to see you, his friends would drag him away to some party, and he’d end up getting drunk, forgetting his desire to see you as he fell deeper into intoxication. But finally he had some time to spare, without his friends up his ass and here you were, waving him off for some stupid client.
He wasn’t jealous; he was just angry that you completely disregarded his feelings — at least that’s what he told himself.
Seeing you squeeze your eyes tightly shut, he finally came to his senses, backing away before sighing. “My bad. Um, yeah, as I was saying, your outfit looks nice today. I like your barret.” He remarked dryly as he watched your eyes slowly flicker open. “I’ll get going now. Sorry about that.”
With that, heeseung left you alone, leaning against the lockers. Your heart felt as if it were a contestant for some Olympic race. Why did something so simple have your cheeks flaming? What was this feeling that caused your breath to waver and become unsteady?
Heeseung was your client’s target. You had to get that into your head. You had no right feeling this way.
Scurrying to the consulting office, you saw Yeeun fiddling with her fingers while sitting in the seat across from your designated one. She had arrived early — or instead, your little encounter had you running late. “Sorry about the wait, Yeeun!” You apologized profusely while entering the room.
“No worries, Yn!” I was really excited to see you again. “I actually wanted to ask you for a favour today.”
Placing your bag onto the wooden desk, you pulled out your chair, settling in. “A favour? Yeah, of course, what’s up?”
“Well,” Yeeun nervously grinned. “I’m attending a guest lecture today and I heard from a friend that Heeseung is coming! I just wanted to make a good impression. Do you know what I should wear?”
Your mind immediately flashed to Heeseung’s words a few minutes ago. “I like your barret.”
“Oh actually um,” you gave the girl a small reassuring smile. “I saw him in the halls today and I heard him saying he liked barrets. Maybe you could wear one?”
“I actually don’t have one. I can’t buy one either, since the lecture is in about an hour.” Yeeun sighed, wishing she owned more hats.
“You can take mine?” You suggested, taking your hat off before combing your hair through with your fingers. “You’ll look good in it and your hair is also slightly curly today! It looks good with slight curls!”
Yeeun gasped, politely accepting your offer. “Oh my, is that why your hair is always curled when you wear hats? It always looks so good!”
You giggled, motioning for her to try it on. “Yep! I spent a short while curling my hair today just for it.”
“How does it look?” Yeeun questioned, turning her head slightly from left to right after putting the hat on.
“It looks flawless! I mean, you always do, but the hat really accentuates your tall nose bridge!” You exclaimed, holding up your front phone camera for her to examine herself.
“What Yn, you’re right! It looks really good!” she squealed. “Plus, my outfit is similar to yours today, so it matches!”
“Yeah! So wear it!” You shot Yeeun another smile before going into your bag to pull out your notebook. “So since we already got you looking the part, I’ll just tell you about the new information I found out this week.”
“Sounds good!” Yeeun scooted closer to the desk, thrilled to hear about your new findings.
…
“Yes, so never reject a party invitation from him, okay?”
“Yes! I got it.” Yeeun gave you a small thumbs up. “But what if he doesn’t invite me to one of his parties?”
“Then casually ask him if he's holding one this week.” You grinned. “I mean, he hosts one, or at least his friend group hosts one every week at their frat house.”
“Right,” Yeeun pondered for a second before speaking again. “Is it that important to attend one of his parties?”
You didn’t know how to respond. Something in you wanted to end this whole cupid exchange quick, and you knew the best way for her to get his attention was at his stupid parties. You planned to doll Yeeun up when she officially got invited by him. These parties didn’t require invitations, but it was important to have Heeseung personally invite Yeeun. He would know she would be coming and would expect her to greet him when she arrived — that already was a benefit. “Yes, Yeeun! He needs to know you’re coming, remember?”
“Oh, right!” She exclaimed, beaming with excitement. “Then I’ll try my best to talk to him today. I’ll get going now! Thank you once again Yn, you’re a lifesaver.”
“Yeah, of course.”
Your last words left a bitter taste in your mouth. Why was your stomach churning so uncomfortably? It's almost like you hated the idea — the idea of them flirting or making out at one of his parties.
Heeseung regretted every minute of his morning, replaying his encounter with you repeatedly like a broken cassette player, until he felt almost dizzy. He didn’t mean to come off so harshly, yet whenever he saw you, he just wanted you to remain in his view until he himself was forced to leave. He remembered the expression in your eyes and how they grew almost fearful. Somehow it made him feel as if he was in the wrong, as if he were the one to blame for your shaking legs. Initially, he was intrigued by your lack of interest and aloof attitude towards him, but now it only bothered him, crushing his dignity firmly with no sense of remorse. It was almost as if you despised his presence and would go to extreme lengths to stay clear of the boy.
But that didn’t explain the goosebumps that ran up your neck when his breath fanned your lips.
Much to his disfavor, the boy's phone buzzed continually in his back pocket. His father had been pressuring him to attend a special guest lecture to make up for his lack of efforts in his other classes. He had been dreading it for the entire week, and he knew skipping would only earn him a mouthful. Some lecture about some “intriguing discussions about the human mind, darker drives and psychological analysis.” He had no interest whatsoever, and the only thing driving him was the party at the end of the dreadful week. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he made his way down the looping brick hall, leading him to the lecture hall with the purple plush seats. He didn’t care too much since he would probably sit near the back and doze off behind some committed student who actually attended to learn. Waving lazily to the girls who stared at him with googly eyes, he felt almost sick of doing the same thing. No longer did he find it fun to watch a random girl squirm at the fact that they were acknowledged by the school’s infamous rugby captain. Instead, he found it tiring. He had grown weary to the customs of winking at every passing person. Their excitement clearly did not phase him in the slightest anymore.
The lecture hall was rather silent, opposite of what he thought it’d be like. The only thing he was expecting was over excited students who were too passionate about the subject and enjoyed blabbing constantly about it. He expected everyone to fit the prototype he had created in his head during his tread over. Instead of conforming to his thoughts, most people were in their own seats, scrolling through their phones. Sighing, Heeseung slowly made his way up the stairs. His arrival earned a few slight gasps from a few of the younger students, but he ignored them, focusing on gaining a perfect spot for his little nap.
That was only until he saw you with your head down, buried in your arms. You were wearing the same berret. He chuckled, carefully approaching you, making sure he didn’t make a sound. Maybe this lecture wouldn’t be too bad and maybe he could apologize for what had occurred this morning.
“Hey miss cupid, didn’t know I’d find you here.” Heeseung spoke softly, giving you a soft tap on your head. “Didn’t know you were interested in dark psychology. But at the same time, I feel like it’s very fitting.” Settling his bag on the small pull out table attached to his seat, he wrapped his arm around your chair as he watched you groan slightly, lifting your head.
“Excuse me? Who’s miss cupid?” Yeeun lifted her head, only to face the last person she expected to sit next to her. “Wait, oh my… um hi! Hi Heeseung.”
Heeseung’s face dropped immediately. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” Removing his arm, he quickly shifted uncomfortably, clearing his throat in the process. How could he have mixed you up with someone who didn’t look remotely like you? It was the hat, the fucking hat. He cursed under his breath repeatedly, resting his head on his palm, attempting to distract himself from the embarrassment. He had really just sat in the most evident spot, where the professor could spot him in a single second. Maybe if his mind wasn’t flooded with thoughts of you, he’d make a rational decision and analyze the person in front of him first. Why the fuck was he so desperate?
“Oh, did you mix me up with someone?” Yeeun tapped the boy on the shoulder, shaking him out of his daze. Her smile faded when she saw the boy squint at her, shaking his head as he frowned. Did she do something? Why did he look so uninterested? Didn't Yn say that the hat might help her out?
“Yeah, I guess. Sorry, it’s my fault. I should’ve looked more carefully.” He spoke, forcing a smile to wave off the girl’s concern.
Yeeun couldn’t be happier to see the boy smile again. Her cheeks grew hot as the pair held eye contact for a few seconds. “Oh well, um,” she began. “My name is Yeeun. Hopefully next time you won’t get me mixed up with someone else.”
"Oh yeah, uh sure.”
“I’ve heard of you before,” Yeeun spoke, this time in a softer tone. “You’re the captain of the rugby team, right? I really enjoyed watching you play last year. This year I didn’t have the chance to attend any of your games because of my busy schedule, but I will for sure make time. Speaking of time, I have time this weekend but sadly there’s no game this week. I wish I had come last time. My friend went, and she said you—”
“Wow, that’s interesting, well I mean there is a party this week. I guess you could come.” Heeseung intervened, his tone lacking any sort of enthusiasm. He knew what this was. Another one of those girls trying to appeal to him; kiss up to him so they could get some special invitation from him. Or the other option; they wanted to get in his pants. There was no in-between and Heeseung was sick. How many times had he experienced the same conversation in the past four years? Previously, he might’ve flirted back, but somehow he was absolutely turned off by Yeeun’s advances.
“Oh my god, really? A personal invitation from you?” Yeeun’s expressionbrightened, along with her smile.
Heeseung shot her a forced lazily grin. “Yeah, just give me your number. I’ll text you the address and time.” She was so excited and for what? He didn’t understand how an invitation could influence someone this greatly. They had parties almost every two weeks. Had she never gone to one? Offering his phone to the girl, he sat back, watching Yeeun type in her number ecstatically, fingers slightly quivering. He already knew. She found interest in him, and he couldn’t help but feel bored at that revelation.
“I’ll be sure to come.” Yeeun giggled softly, returning Heeseung's phone. “I might bring a plus one. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, anyone is welcome. Do whatever you wish.”
And the rest of the lecture went swiftly. Heeseung could see the girl next to him steal glances at him now and then. He could see the twinkle in her eyes and how they shined when her gaze landed on him. She most definitely enjoyed his company, unlike someone he knew. But he couldn't say the same.
Upon dismissal, Heeseung didn’t spare a single glance at Yeeun before barging his way through his row, attempting to get to the doors as quickly as possible. Still left in a daze, Yeeun felt the giddy jumping in her stomach as she watched the boy’s broad shoulders squeeze through the jumbling crowd. She liked him even more now. The handsome, tall and kind Lee Heeseung, who was kind enough to invite her to his party.
Heeseung felt void of emotions. His body felt numb and his expression remained blank as he slammed the lecture door, leaving Yeeun’s sight. His surroundings were blurred out by his thoughts that swarmed and suffocated him.
Why did he feel no joy in seeing people swoon over him?
Why was this morning’s incident still stuck in his head like super glue, permanent and unremovable, that only a painful amount of scrubbing, scratching and rinsing could remove? Heeseung was unable to get his mind off you, and he didn’t have the energy to wash away his feelings when his thoughts blocked his freedom.
The realization of his feelings was something new to him.
But Heeseung feared acceptance.
His hands automatically swiped at his phone, dialing the first number on his contact list.
“1”
He needed a distraction.
“What the fuck? Where do you need to go?” Your jaw hung wide open at your best friend, who only shot you a nervous grin as she fidgeted with her fingers.
“I’m sorry Yn, please?” Ryujin shot her puppy-like expression at you, begging for you to say yes.
“Okay, first off, why the fuck are you going to see Park Sunghoon, and second, why do I need to drive your ass there? Drive yourself!” You rolled your eyes, bringing your focus back to your dinner you had cooked for yourself.
“Okay, I Just need to give him something, but I just need you to drop me off because ‘he’ knows my car plate and I don’t want him to misunderstand the situation.” Ryujin pleaded.
You had to remind yourself that “he” was the young manager Ryujin had been seeing, who lived around the area of Sunghoon’s fraternity home. “What do you mean, misunderstand? So you want me to wait for you until you return this ‘item’ and then drive you back?”
“Precisely!” Ryujin shot you a thumbs up, which was followed by a nervous grin. “If he sees that I’m with a friend, then he won’t get suspicious.”
You squinted at the girl. “Yeah, but whatever this whole ‘returning the item shit’ is, it’s already fishy to me.”
“No, I swear it isn’t, just please get in the car. Sunghoon’s an impatient person.”
And that’s how you found yourself stepping on the siege green door mattress, neatly placed in front of Sunghoon’s fraternity house. Ryujin pressed on the doorbell once and a long stretch of silence followed through. She then proceeded to bang on the door repeatedly. Ryujin was also an impatient person. “He’s really testing my patience today, huh?” Ryujin groaned, pacing around the door in small semi-circles.
You stood beside her, bored out of your mind. You could’ve been productive in the time wasted by Ryujin, who was too scared to get “caught” returning some stupid ass item. Maybe he wasn’t home, and he pranked your best friend to come over, just to waste her time. He seemed like that type of person. Waiting in the car sounded like a better idea than waiting out here on their doorsteps in the cold. Just as you were about to turn around, the door slammed open to a disheveled—
“Heeseung?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as your eyes scanned the man standing in the doorway. He leaned lazily on the open door, barely holding on to the frame of the entrance. He was wearing an oversized flannel, barely clinging onto his shoulders that hung only partially buttoned, revealing most of his bare chest. Your eyes grew big as you noticed the dark red love marks that decorated his neck, all the way to the lower half of his upper body, which was shielded by his flannel.
You were sure the marks didn’t stop there.
“Shit. Yn?” Heeseung was not expecting you. He had only come to his senses after the long pause of him opening the door. He had thought maybe Sunghoon had forgotten his keys, or maybe Jake was too drunk to even search for his. In no world did he think he’d open the door to you, standing at his doorway with an unreadable expression.
“Heeseung, what’s taking you so long?” You heard a voice emerging from behind him, her voice laced with fatigue but also a strong sense of desire.
You knew.
You knew what was going on.
“Yn, I can explain.” Heeseung rustled his already messy hair. You could clearly read his expression from the way his eyebrows arched downwards, to the firm line his lips were pressed into.
Shaking your head slightly, you squeezed your eyes shut. “What is there for you to explain?” You spoke in a stern voice, attempting to hide the quivering of your words.
“Heeseung, who is it?” You heard the honey laced voice another time.
Without any hesitation, you pushed Heeseung back into the warmth of his house before slamming the door shut. The cold air fanned your face, and the contrast stung like needles. Or maybe it was the disturbing churning in your stomach that made you feel almost sick. Maybe it wasn’t the cold that pierced your body, but the realization that hit you hard in the head, knocking you back to reality.
Why did it hurt to see him like that?
Why did you even care? What did it matter to you?
You always knew. Heeseung was the biggest player on campus, but somehow you didn't know why you expected him to differ from his reputation. You had seen him on campus with his hands around a girl’s waist before, so why did it hurt you so much to see him today?
Ryujin stood on the side, this time her mouth hanging wide open. What did she just witness? She knew her best friend, she read you like an open book, and she understood every expression and twitch in your facial expression. She had just witnessed her best friend’s heart shattering into pieces.
ENTRY LOG #3
Fuck Lee Heeseung. He isn’t kind, nor does he have any redeeming qualities. He isn’t someone to pursue if you're looking for something long-term. He’s an absolute jerk who lies through his teeth and he — it doesn’t matter. Yeeun should give up on him. He’ll just hurt her in the end.
Entry logs were supposed to be professional.
No feelings were supposed to be involved.
You dreaded your next meeting with Yeeun. Once again, you had nothing positive to report to her. You had been labeled the most professional member of the club, yet you failed to deliver any actual substance. Maybe this was a sign to quit the club once and for all. You would have to pull out your logbook full of scribbles and curse words at your client’s love interest.
It was unprofessional of you. But the only main issue was your feelings.
Why the heck did your heart drop to the pit of your stomach when you saw Heeseung the other night? It wasn’t like you two had anything going on — you knew that for sure. But then why did his expression fall into utter fear when he saw you on his own doorstep? Why did he feel the need to explain? Wasn’t this one of his normal, frequent activities? If so, why did his eyes yearn to apologize?
Snap out of it. You had to bring yourself back to reality.
What mattered now was that Heeseung was your client’s love interest and nothing mattered more other than getting them together — even if he was a jerk. You had no responsibility for how relationships would grow and break after your service. Frankly, you got them together, and that’s all that mattered. It wasn’t your fault if they ended up breaking up, because that was something you couldn’t control.
“I’ll just do what I always do,” you mumbled, shaking your head as you watched the faint movement of the clock. “Get them together. The end. No strings attached.”
There were five more minutes until your meeting with Yeeun, but surprisingly, the knock at your door came earlier than expected. She was smiling yet again, this time holding a set of sweet frappuccinos in her hand. The girl had an insane amount of manners. She stood outside the door even if she already knew you were fine with her bargaining in. She respected your privacy and only entered when you gave her a slight nod.
“Yn, you won’t guess what happened!” Yeeun squealed, placing the two diabetes-inducing drinks on the table. “I wanted to tell you as soon as possible, but I remembered that I didn’t have your number and had no actual other way to reach you.”
There was a strict rule in the whole “cupid’s service.” The relationship between you and your client would remain professional throughout the duration of your assistance. They would have no access to any of your personal information, and neither did you. The only thing you had to keep in contact with was your weekly scheduled meetings.
“What can be so exciting? You're all giddy!” In all honesty, you never understood the girl’s positivity. It was as if she was shielded by a ray of pure golden sunshine for her entire life. Darkness was a concept that strayed away from her, never crossing paths.
“Heeseung invited me to his party!” Yeeun chirped. “It was a personal invitation, too! He asked for my number and sent me the time and address! Do you think he likes me back? I mean, he invited me personally!”
Your smile immediately turned downwards at the mention of Heeseung. You found it odd that even after all the claims about him and his flings, she wouldn't slowly lose interest and move on. Instead, the girl only saw him as a knight in shining armor, who would walk with her in that path of purity, that ray of sunshine.
But she was delusional.
Forcing the best answer you could, you awkwardly closed your log book filled with pages of slander. “Uh, oh wow Yeeun! I'm so happy for you.” What more could you say? Heeseung invited anyone who wanted to attend his parties. There was no such thing as private invitations—
Unless…
Right, you had to be positive. This was your best chance at getting them together. “You should go, a hundred percent. You said he invited you, right? So he’ll probably want to see you there! We should decide on your outfit together.”
“Right!” Yeeun giggled in agreement. “Oh but Yn, I need to request another favour.”
Already scrolling through an online store catalog, you stopped to glance back at Yeeun, who had an almost apologetic expression plastered on her face. “The tone of your voice has me worried a bit. But go ahead, what's up?”
“I’m sorry, but could you please come to the party with me? All my friends are absolutely against the idea and I don’t want to be going to an unfamiliar place alone. I thought maybe since you’ve probably never been, we could navigate it together? Also, isn’t it best to go with a friend?”
Your mind immediately flashed back to the other night, standing in front of Heeseung’s doorway. An unfamiliar place? Yeah, you wished you could agree. “Yeeun, I’m sorry but,” You had to avoid this party at all costs.
Because you wanted to keep the relationship between you and Yeeun professional? That’s only what you told yourself.
You didn’t want to see him again. You didn’t even want to lay your eyes on the boy for a second.
“I get you wanna keep everything professional, but I really need your help! Just this once, I promise! Next time, I promise I won’t bother you about something like this again! You’ve just been so helpful and I really find comfort in you. Plus, maybe you could assist me with getting Heeseung there, right?”
Maybe she had a thing for rambling.
“Yeeun, I’m honored that you find comfort in me, but this is really something I cannot do for you. I can give you tips and I could also help you find a dress, or heck, even purchase one for you, but physically attending? That’s something I can’t do.” You spoke sternly, hoping she’d get the idea.
“But who’s gonna take me home? What if he invites me to drink? I can’t say no to him, and even worse, I can’t drive back under the influence!” Her eyebrows furrowed. She was getting more desperate.
“Then I’ll give you my number. You can call me and I’ll pick you up.”
“But that’s unprofessional!” Yeeun retorted. “I’m gonna have a hard time navigating this new environment. Could you just help me? Please?”
At this point, you knew the girl wasn’t going to back out until you accepted her request. Maybe you wouldn’t even see him. You could just drop her off and stick around outside and make up some random excuse that you're carsick. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. “Okay fine. But this time only.”
“Fingers crossed,” She giggled, standing up from her chair. “I’ll head off now since I have other plans! But we can meet here Friday night, I’ll pick you up. Make sure to bring your drivers license though! You’ll probably be the one driving us back! Oh yeah, and this drink is for you. I was going to bribe you with it but I’m glad it didn’t resort to it.” She waved at you before pushing her way out of your office.
Wow. Did she really think a cheap drink could buy your favour?
You were slowly losing respect for her. Who knew someone this smart could be so stupid in the real world. Being book smart doesn’t define your intelligence whatsoever.
Friday came faster than you expected and with a blink of an eye, you were sitting in the passenger seat of Yeeun’s silver Lexus that smelled as if it was brand new. They were going to a party, so why would she drive out her new car? It was a night of chaos and her perfectly painted car was a hundred percent prone to scratches, bumps and, worse off them all, vomit. Rolling down the windows, you stuck your face in the fresh air, attempting to mask the overwhelming smell of fresh leather. You dreaded this day, but somehow Yeeun didn’t seem to care one bit.
“Thank you so much for picking out a dress for me, Yn!” Yeeun broke the silence while keeping her eyes on the path ahead of her. “I’m glad we found an outfit suitable for you too! Your dress is really cute, but it doesn’t over shine mine, which is probably a good idea since I need to be the main highlight today.”
You had grown to realize that Yeeun wasn’t shy at all. She just needed time opening up and conveying her true thoughts. No wonder her works were all filled with complex feelings and a wide range of emotions. She didn’t have anywhere to convey her own, so writing them out was probably the most convenient for her. Yeeun was comfortable with you now, and that obliterated any filter she had masking her feelings. “Of course.” You awkwardly chuckled, staring back at the blurred silhouettes of landscapes passing by.
“We’re almost there,” Yeeun spoke again. “I can’t wait to see him! What do you think he’ll be wearing? Ripped jeans? A leather jacket? What do you think it is?”
“Definitely not a loose fitting flannel.” You blurted out, eyes still trained on the oddly shaped traffic light in the distance.
“Huh? A loose flannel? Why would that even come to mind?” Yeeun questioned. “Do you like when people wear oversized flannels?”
You choked, slightly coughing at her response. “No, it was just a random thought.”
A random thought?
No.
You still despised Heeseung for his flannel that told you everything. The way his face fell pale and the way he wanted to “explain.” Nothing made sense to you, and your thoughts were still tightly wrapped around that night.
Nothing made sense — not even your own feelings.
You didn’t know why you were so bothered and so angry at the boy. Every time you saw him after that night, your eyes would immediately dart away, fleeing his presence. He would attempt to run after you, but he would constantly lose your trail.
“Well, look at that. I can already hear the music and we’re only a block away.” Yeeun broke the silence once again.
“You might want to park your car around here,” you suggested. “It would be best if we walked over there instead. You wouldn’t want your car getting damaged by drunk students, would you?”
You were right, and Yeeun nodded happily. Complying with your suggestion, she pulled over, parking in front of a lawn, away from anyone’s garage lane. The housing was rather sparse in the area and none of the neighbors seemed to be bothered by the intense booming music coming from the party. Yeeun checked once again if her windows were rolled up completely before getting out of her car. Swiftly following her, you stepped out of the door from your side. You hadn’t even gone into the house, but you could already feel your soul leaving your body. You despised loud, chaotic environments — especially parties.
Yeeun scurried over to you, linking her arm with yours. “Isn’t this so exciting? Let’s find Heeseung as soon as we enter, okay?”
You squinted at her before reassuring her with a sarcastic smile. “Um, actually, I’m a little carsick. I think I’ll stay outside for a while.”
“No, you can’t do that!” She whined, shooting you an accusing pout. “At least greet him with me first. I told him I was gonna bring a plus one. You can go anywhere you want after.”
Demanding and inconsiderate. You had figured that she was just as stubborn as Heeseung.
“Fucking kind facade.” You mumbled under your breath, clearing your throat in the process.
“What?” Yeeun questioned with the same innocent eyes she had looked at you with the first time you two had met.
“Oh nothing, let’s go in.” You smiled.
Yeeun didn’t ask further questions. Blinded by her eagerness, she pulled you into the loud atmosphere littered with red plastic cups and confetti. The music was earsplitting, only making it possible to hear each other if you spoke up. “Shall we head to the main living room area? I heard he’s usually there with his friend group.” Yeeun attempted to shout over the music, covering her ears in the process. The speakers were right at the door, so maybe this was the reason the music overpowered.
You nodded hesitantly, and the girl didn’t waste a single second, dragging you further past the groups of students playing beer pong. Their drunken cheers of victory enticed you more than wherever the heck Yeeun was dragging you to.
“Oh, shit.” The shorter girl halted. “I see him.”
“Damn, do you have twenty, twenty vision or something? Because I can’t see shit.” You spoke with a lack of enthusiasm.
Yeeun turned around, facing you as she fidgeted with her fingers. “Do you see him over there? He’s surprisingly not wearing anything shockingly fashionable, but he still looks so good.” She gushed, looking down at her feet.
Once again, she reminded you. No matter how her personality took a turn, her feelings towards him were still the same — innocent and pure. She liked him a lot, and you could tell from the way her eyelashes fluttered as she spotted him.
Titling your head to the left, you looked in the direction where Yeeun was last staring. You spotted him almost immediately. He stood against a wall, one hand in his pocket and the other holding the same plastic red cup you had seen everyone with. Yeeun was right. He was dressed rather effortlessly, but he was still attractive. He wore a plain white t-shirt tucked neatly in his black straight-fit pants. His hair was styled and neatly parted, however, unlike regular days, more of his forehead was exposed today. He looked mature, unlike his daily boy-ish looks. “Well, it’s your chance. Go up to him.” You encouraged, trying your best to feel the same excitement Yeeun had felt.
“Crap, he looks so good. I don’t know if I’ll be able to say anything. What if I get tongue twisted? You’ll help me, right?” Yeeun panicked slightly, her eyes darting everywhere.
You gave the girl another reassuring nod. How many times would you have to reassure her today? “Yeah, just go up to him.”
Yeeun took a few breaths in and out, calming herself. “Okay, let me reorient myself.”
With Yeeun still facing away from Heeseung, you stole another glance at the group he was standing with. You spotted Sunghoon, the puppy looking boy and the other boy with the sharp features. You had recognized them from the rugby game, as their faces weren’t the easiest to forget. Before you could divert your attention back to the panicking Yeeun, your eyes met a familiar pair of inky dark eyes. Through his hooded lids, Heeseung looked up at you from the rim of the plastic cup he was drinking out of. He held eye contact, his gaze piercing right through you.
Instead of looking away, you stared back at him. Your surroundings seemed to disperse into nothingness as you fell deeper into his gaze that devoured all light with its intensity. You felt your stomach flip inside out as the boy kept his gaze trained on you.
How could he be so confident after that incident?
He really felt nothing, huh?
“Yn? Yn?” Yeeun was already snapping her fingers at your dazed expression. “What are you looking at? You’re making me more nervous.”
“Oh shit. I'm sorry, I didn’t mean it.” You stammered, forcing another one of your fake smiles.
Yeeun rolled her eyes. “You’re constantly zoning out today, but I’ll let it go since you’re helping me out.” Maybe the girl had felt a sudden surge of confidence because she was now holding onto your wrist, pulling you towards the group of boys. She stopped right in front of the four of them and cleared her throat, signaling for their attention. You stood behind the girl, attempting to divert your attention back to the kids playing beer pong.
“Oh? Who’s this?” The puppy looking boy spoke in an amused tone. “I’ve never seen you before. Are you new here?”
“Wow shut up bro, ask for her name first.” The boy with the sharper features stated.
You could see Yeeun fidgeting with the helm of her skirt. Heeseung wasn't even looking at the anxious girl in front of him. Instead, his eyes were glued on you, who seemed concerned about Yeeun’s nervous state.
“Oh wait,” Sunghoon pushed Yeeun slightly, moving her off to the side. He was moving towards you. “You, you’re Yn aren’t you? Ryujin’s friend.”
You lifted your gaze up to meet Sunghoon’s amused stare. Shit. Yeeun looked pissed. She had been completely disregarded by the boys, and Heeseung didn’t even seem to recognize her. “Oh yeah, hi.” You responded dryly.
“Oh wait, you’re Yn?” the puppy boy spoke again. “Heeseung mentioned you before, isn’t that right?” He nudged his friend on the shoulder, indulging in the conversation Sunghoon had established with you.
Your gaze found Heeseung once again. He didn’t speak. His face sat emotionless, void of any sort of reaction as he leaned back against the wall, sipping on his drink without responding to Jake.
“Sorry, he’s been a little out of it recently, I apologize for—"
“Doesn’t matter.” You blurted out. “Um, this is my friend Yeeun. She was invited by one of you, I’m assuming? She just wanted to say hi.” You wanted to avoid saying Heeseung’s name at all costs.
The boys looked at each other, confused. “Uh, I don’t think any of us invited her.” The boy with the sharper features spoke again, further extending his apologetic tone.
“I did.” Heeseung finally spoke up. “Well, she practically begged me to invite her. She bothered me about it for the whole lecture and she just couldn’t stop going on about how she wished she could be at my game. She kept batting her eyelashes at me as if her stupid falsies could seduce me or something. It was kind of sad, honestly. Actually, it’s embarrassing, seeing someone try so hard just to get notice—“
“What the fuck is your problem?” You viscously snapped at him. You could see Yeeun shaking slightly from the rude remarks Heeseung had thrown at her while inching close to her. He had taken someone’s genuine feelings and twisted them to sound like some obsession. You didn’t like Yeeun’s pushy attitude, but this was too much.
The other boys were stunned by your words, too scared to speak up. Yes, they had thought their friend had gone too far, but now that you spoke, there was no more room to intervene.
“What the fuck do you mean? What’s my problem?” Heeseung retorted. This time, his eyes burned with anger. He pushed his drink into Sunghoon’s grasp before pushing Yeeun to the side once again as he approached you.
“You can’t just say that about someone. Do you know how much your words can affect someone? Simply disregarding someone’s genuine feelings doesn’t make you cool. Just because you have a reputation doesn’t mean everyone fucking wants you. Stop acting so entitled because it’s gonna stab you in the back.” You hissed, ignoring how the room fell silent.
“Well, you know what? Your friend here seems to fucking want me, so your point isn’t getting through. She was practically drooling when she entered the fucking house.” Heeseung fired back.
He had already seen you two as soon as you both walked through the doors? Looking back at Yeeun, she shot you a venomous glare. You had completely ruined her chances with Heeseung, and now you were here arguing with him.
You were sick of this.
You had a feeling since day one, no one would walk out of this happy. You knew involving yourself would tangle up the situation, but you were already in too deep, trying to protect Yeeun’s image. Yet, she didn’t seem a tad thankful for your actions.
“Fuck this cupid shit.” You mumbled while scoffing. You didn’t know why Heeseung had targeted all his anger on you after he was the one who threw rude remarks at your friend. But more specifically, you didn’t know why he was so angry at you when he was the one caught in an unfortunate tango with some random girl. You remembered his apologetic eyes the first time he tried to explain. But now, all that was left was anger fuelling strongly in his heart. Maybe he just didn’t want you to tell everyone you had seen him that night and that’s why he tried to convince you with his sad eyes.
“You know what? Fuck you, all of you.” You fumed, turning around almost immediately. You didn’t want to be in this house for any second longer. Yeeun watched as you dashed out of the house, slamming the door in the process. She was pissed — pissed that you blew her chances.
“Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you today?” Sunghoon pushed the plastic cup back into Heeseung’s hand. “First you’re being irresponsive, now you’re being some actual fucking jerk. All this for what, huh? Apologize.”
Heeseung himself didn’t know what had gotten into him.
He had no reason to blow up in your face, nor did he have a reason to denounce Yeeun with such venomous remarks. He didn’t even know why he was so angry. The feeling that welled up in his stomach when he saw you enter the house with a smile on your face suffocated him. It’s not that he didn’t want to speak, he just couldn’t bring himself to.
“I need some fresh air.” Heeseung finally spoke up again, excusing himself from his confused friends, who only shouted at him to come back. Yeeun stood frozen, watching as the boy she so desired disappear into a crowd of people. He had ignored her presence first, made such negative remarks about her, and then, once again, disregarded her while leaving without a single apology. The rumors were lies. Heeseung wasn’t a swift player who swept people off their feet.
Instead, he was cruel and seemingly heartless. Yeeun’s view began to cloud and blur as tears welled up in her eyes.
…
Heeseung headed straight for the door. He once again felt the sudden urge to find you, to apologize for everything that had transpired this past week. You had looked at him with such disappointment. He felt a lump forming in his throat at the thought of you hating him. As soon as he made his way outside, the cold air sent shivers down his spine. Had it always been this cold? His gaze quickly darted in every direction, until he spotted you a block away, leaning against a car with your hands covering your face. Were you crying? But his words weren’t even directed towards you.
His trudge towards you felt almost painful as his feet grew heavier with every step. At this point, you had sensed someone coming in your direction. Looking up, you made direct eye contact with Heeseung, who stood frozen in front of you. You weren’t crying. Rather, you seemed frustrated, especially now in his presence. “Why the fuck are you here?” You spat, gaze piercing through his.
Heeseung’s eyes softened, erasing his lingering anger. He didn’t have the right to get angry with you in the first place, and now that he was alone with you, he no longer wanted to keep beefing. Swallowing the lump that reformed in his throat, Heeseung finally spoke up. “I’m here to apologize. Not just for today, but the other night, too.”
“What is there to apologize for?” You retorted.
You were afraid to break down in front of Heeseung.
You couldn’t let him know how devastated you had felt after you saw him the other night. Rather, you couldn’t even give him the slightest hint that you were affected by his actions.
You were right. What was there to apologize for? It’s not like he did anything wrong. But somehow the guilt was eating away at him. He didn’t want you to misunderstand his feelings.
His feelings?
“You’re right. There’s nothing to apologize for, but everyday we grow further apart. At this point, you’re practically avoiding me like I’m some plague.” Heeseung spoke.
He had caught you. Sure, you wanted to play it off like nothing had happened. But whenever you saw the boy, you couldn’t help but feel a sharp pang in your chest. Avoiding him was your only option. “I realized that I shouldn’t get close to you, since you’re my clients—”
Shit. You weren’t supposed to tell him.
“I mean. You’re um,” you struggled to make up an excuse. “You’re bad news. That’s what everyone says.”
“I know already. You don’t have to hide it.” Heeseung mumbled. “I knew that Yeeun girl was your client right when you spoke up for her. I was her target, huh? You’re tasked to bring us together. Is that why you distanced yourself?”
“Yeah, it’s not professional to have close relations with your client’s—“
“But what if I liked you?” Heeseung intervened. “What if I couldn’t go a fucking day without you?”
You were lost for words, and time seemed to stop at his sudden confession. What the heck did he just say?
“Yn, I don’t care for your fucking client or your stupid cupid services. I don’t care about professionalism, nor do I care about hurting Yeeun’s feelings. Every single time you avoided me or ignored me, I felt as if I was sinking deeper into a pit of lava. It fucking hurts. Do you know that? To see your expression drop into a cold hard stare as soon as we made eye contact.”
“Then why the fuck did you sleep with that girl if you liked me so much?!” You finally lashed out, demanding an answer.
His eyes widened, shocked by your words. Of course, he wanted to explain himself, but he didn’t expect you to blatantly ask him out of the blue. “That,” he hesitated. “I didn’t know how to handle my feelings. I don’t usually feel such a strong attachment to people, and I wanted to deny every last hint of my true feelings. I thought that maybe… I thought by getting with someone else, I’d forget about how I felt about you. But it was the complete opposite. The more I indulged in my old habits to erase you from my thoughts, the more empty I felt. The worst was the other night when you came knocking on my door. I couldn’t even process the situation. My mind just fell blank. I knew I wouldn’t be able to apologize without telling you everything. Yn I’m sorry. You probably don’t even fucking care, sorry for—“
“It hurt like shit. Did you know that?” This time, you were the one to cut him off. “You could’ve told me earlier.”
“But you were the one avoiding me.” Heeseung spoke with an innocent expression on his face.
He was right. You would never listen to his reasoning unless you came to terms with your own feelings. You would continue to ignore him until he got tired of trying.
You giggled softly. “You’re right. That was ridiculous for me to say.”
Heeseung’s frown finally curved up into a genuine smile, an unfamiliar sight. You were so used to his cocky grins and his sly smirks, you couldn’t help but admire the way the corner of his lips lifted so effortlessly. “You’re finally smiling again. I missed it. I missed you.”
You stared at the boy, this time falling victim to his piercing gaze once again. You stood there frozen, unable to move, as Heeseung stared back at you with his inky eyes that appeared golden under the streetlight.
The both of you fell into the comfort of silence.
Falling deeper in his eyes, you barely noticed him inching closer to you, his breath fanning your lips. Not being able to process anything completely, you managed to hold your breath, squeezing your eyes shut at the proximity and the boy's staggering breath.
He was nervous.
He had never been nervous, but as he slowly leaned in, he could hear his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. You stood still, gripping onto the helm of your skirt as if you were holding on for dear life. Too scared to move, you didn’t know what to expect. But most importantly, you couldn’t even process what was transpiring between you two.
Was this wrong?
What were you doing?
Before your mind could wander into deeper analysis or questioning, you feel his soft lips press against yours. His movements were gentle, almost as if he could hurt you at any moment. His arms encase you as they both rest on the car behind you. Heeseung was afraid to hold you. In his eyes, you were as delicate as a feather, and just one touch would break you. He saw you as someone precious, non-deserving of his filthy hands.
Who even gave him the right to kiss you?
You, on the other hand, were lost in your own world as your mind swarmed and your heart raced. You liked Heeseung. You truly did. Your hands slowly crept away from your side, wanting to pull him closer to deepen the kiss, but before you could, he swiftly pulled away. His breaths remained unsteady as he saw your flushed face. “Shit, I’m sorry Yn. That was all of a sudden, I know.” He mumbled as his ears burned.
“Don’t apologize.” You blushed, reaching for his hand that fell to his side. Your pinky latched onto his pinky finger as you nervously looked down, avoiding his gaze.
“Does this count as you accepting my apology, then?” Heeseung spoke in an almost whispering tone.
Finally, looking up at the boy again, you gave him a reassuring smile as you hummed in response. Heeseung couldn’t help but smile like a fool, knowing you had felt the same about him.
You had accepted his apology and you didn’t push him away when he kissed you. Heeseung couldn’t be happier. What else could happen to steal his happiness away? Nothing else mattered anymore.
“Heeseung, where the fuck are you?” A voice echoed through the street. It was Sunghoon. He had come looking for his friend.
“Oh shit. I think I have to go.” Heeseung shot you an apologetic expression. “I’m so sorry Yn, I’ll see you on monday?”
You nodded, giving him another smile.
His hands left the comfort of yours as he turned away, heading back to the house.
Your pinkies were now detached from each other.
A promise would be broken.
The next weekend you spent, curdled up in your room, replaying your encounter in your head. What the heck had transpired? Heeseung had kissed you. And you did nothing to stop him. You buried your face in your palms as you blushed again. You felt as if you were on cloud nine. What could go wrong?
Maybe you had gotten ahead of yourself.
Your phone buzzed, shaking you out of your endless thought loop.
Yeeun: Yn. I don’t know what the heck happened that day and I don’t understand why you felt the need to speak up for me. If he was gonna slander me, then so be it. You failed. You fucking failed bringing us together, and you left me that night, alone. How can you even make up for all this? How could you do this? Where’s your fucking professionalism, huh? What are you gonna do now, huh?
You froze at Yeeun’s text. Part of you wanted to blame her for having no self-worth whatsoever. But in another sense, she was right. You were the sole reason she wasn’t able to get with who she wanted. You involved your own feelings into the mix, completely throwing everything off course. It was your fault for diverting Heeseung’s attention, and you knew you were wrong. It was stated clearly in the rules: you could never have personal relations with your client, or your client’s love interest — you had broken them both.
You let your emotions get the best of you when you intervened in the conversation, attempting to protect Yeeun, and most importantly, you had kissed Heeseung, completely enveloped in your own feelings. Your first mistake was accepting Yeeun’s invite to the party.
No. Your first mistake was getting involved with Lee Heeseung.
Your phone buzzed again.
Yeeun: Also, I hope you don’t think I’m dumb. I saw you. I saw you with him. I can’t believe you could do this to me — and you still preach professionalism? Cut the bullshit, Yn. You completely deceived me, and unless you want to deal with getting kicked out, I suggest you do something.
You didn’t care if you got kicked out, frankly it would probably be for the best if this would be the outcome of your requests. However, the main issue was your own guilt, that was picking away at you. You had lied and pretended to help someone. You had acted selfishly, only caring for your own emotions. The sole purpose of the Cupid consulting club was to prioritize your client’s feelings and help them in your best effort. You did none of that. You didn’t prioritize Yeeun, nor did you truly help her.
You shrunk back into your chair, contemplating what to do.
Yeeun was right.
You had to do something.
——
Heeseung was left confused once again. The boy was thrilled to see you after the weekend and it was all he could think about. His friends had also found his attitude weird, as they saw him randomly chuckle out of the blue. They didn’t ask questions, but they were happy he was finally out of his slump.
So why did he see you avoid his gaze once again, scurrying off to get away from him? He shook it off, thinking you were still nervous from the party incident, but as days flew by, you once again avoided him like he was some sick disease. What had he done so wrong now? He needed an answer.
He would not let you go so easily again.
“Yn.” You heard a shout from behind you. His familiar voice echoed through the empty hall, and as soon as you heard him, you wanted to dash for your life. “Can you just fucking stop? Why are you running?” The voice spoke again.
You knew if you turned around, your heart would shatter.
Right. This was for the best. You had to compose yourself.
“Yn what the fuck?” Heeseung garbled your wrist, turning you around to face him. “Why are you ignoring me again? After everything?”
You met his saddened eyes, filled to the brim with unexplainable emotions. You couldn’t bear seeing him like this, but his grip on your wrist only seemed to tighten as you attempted to wiggle out. “Let go of me.” You spat.
“What the fuck, Yn? You can’t just expect me to leave when you’re acting like this. I thought we talked this over already? Why are you acting like this, avoiding me?”
You sighed. Pushing your emotions back into your churning stomach. You hated this. You wanted to disappear.
“Stay away from me. I don’t care what you thought happened that day, but nothing did. Think of it as a mistake.” You blurted out. “No, actually, you’re Lee Heeseung, so think of it as your average fling.”
His face fell pale, all the emotions drained out by your words. “What did you just say?” He stammered.
“Do I have to make it any clearer?” You spoke again, this time struggling to keep your voice steady. “That day meant nothing to me.”
Heeseung felt as if he had been punched relentlessly in the stomach. He had poured out all his emotions to you and for the first time; he felt comfortable and content with someone. But now you were standing in front of him, each word piercing him slowly but deeply. You gave the boy a taste of his own medicine unknowingly, and all he could do was beg you to stay. “Yn, you don’t mean it.”
The more the conversation dragged on, the more you felt yourself waver in your emotions.
You wanted to drop this act, but you knew what had to be done.
“I do. You meant nothing to me. All your actions made me laugh. How could you fall for someone just because they didn’t show interest in you at the beginning? You’re truly pathetic.”
That was a lie and your words continued to thrust him deeper into agony. Sure, Heeseung enjoyed the chase, but he would drop anyone without batting an eye if they weren’t showing any interest. He thought he would feel the same about you, but his feelings proved him wrong. “If this is all an act for your stupid client, drop it. I told you already that I don’t care about your client, and if this is for her, I won’t accept it.”
He had caught you red-handed, but there was no turning back.
“No, I fucking despise you. Everything about you pisses me off to the core, especially your habits. Your habits are absolutely disgusting” At this point, you now involved your own insecurities into this. You hated his sweet words because at the back of your head you feared he was lying and you hated his habits, mainly because you were afraid he would never be truly content with you.
But none of that mattered.
Because you were never supposed to involve your own emotions in the first place.
Heeseung grabbed your shoulders, pulling you close to him. His grip tightened, breathing in slowly as he pressed his eyes shut in frustration. “Yn, fucking look at me in the eyes and tell me that there was nothing between us. Look into my eyes and tell me everything was a lie.” His voice wavered, cracking at the end of his sentence.
You took the last bit of courage you had and looked up at the boy, whose eyes were now begging you to tell him that it wasn’t a lie. “Did you not hear me the first time?” You spoke in the steadiest voice you could muster up. “You meant absolutely nothing to me, and you never will. In my heart, you amount to nothing.”
His grip on your shoulders loosened as they fell to his side in pure terror. Backing away, his hands began to quiver and his breaths grew unsteady. Never in his life did he ever think he’d experience the absolute horror of a heartbreak. He had cruised through his life, breaking hearts left and right, but never did he think he’d find himself on the verge of breaking down.
“Heeseung, it’s over. Whatever exchange we had, ends here. Don’t approach me or even look in my direction ever again.”
And that’s all it took.
That’s all it took to break Lee Heeseung, the boy who grew up engulfed by praises — the “careless” jerk, who was immune to tears and deemed “unbreakable.”
That’s all it took.
“Yn,” He croaked out, his voice still wavering. “Even if you shoved me deep into the pits of hell, I would still crawl back to you. Even if my legs were severed, I’d still claw my way back to you. Don’t you understand?” He paused.
“I fucking love you.”
Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach. You understood. You wanted to embrace him, to apologize, and to comfort him.
But you knew.
Cupid’s law number one: Never fall in love.
You were a matchmaker. You had no place involving your own emotions.
You were a matchmaker with the sole purpose of bringing others together.
But you ruined it.
You ruined it for everyone.
You had to swallow that bitter pill and acknowledge your wrongdoings. You had to come face to face with it all, and accept that you had failed.
You had fallen in love.
And in the process, you broke people for the sake of your own happiness.
There was a reason why rules were set, and you never knew the severity of following them until now.
You let your emotions get the best of you, and that’s where it all spiraled downwards.
You didn’t have the right to love; you were undeserving of it.
And if it meant breaking Heeseung’s heart to make up for your wrongdoings, you would gladly do so, no matter how badly it hurt.
For the sake of others.
You had to let go.
“I’m sorry.”
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A/N: oml hi bff! You’ve made it through this word vomit. Hello, but I’m so honored that you even survived till the end. Editing this, plus blr acting up took like 5 hours I wanna cry. But anyways, thank you so much for reading! This is my first official one-shot, so feel free to leave your feedback and thoughts! I would love to read all of them. But again, thank you so much for reading ilyyy
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