#posting chapter 22 later tonight! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

albertasunrise · 4 months

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Hope - Hope I See You Again

Masterlist

Summary: After Joel loses his wife and your best friend during childbirth. You support him as he takes on parenthood on his own at 22. But when feelings start to develop, you battle with the guilt you feel for falling for your best friend’s husband.

Relationships: Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+… this is to avoid spoilers! (So a longer chapter...Another angst fest but I hope you enjoy. Had most of this written out already hence posting it so quickly after chapter 4, can't wait to heart what y'all think ♥️)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

10 years later...

"Sarah!" Joel calls up the stairs as he munches on his toast "Hunny you're going to be late."

"COMING!" She replied as thumping steps erupted on the landing.

Joel chuckled as he listened to his daughter clamber down the stairs, smiling when she planted a kiss on his cheek and skipped to the plate of toast he left on the side for her.

"You're a good father." She said as she ravaged the breakfast he made her.

"I try to be."

"You make some for Uncle Tommy?" She asked as her ears perked up at the sound of his truck parking on the drive.

"Yeah, yeah..." Joel waved her off "Although he's gonna eat me outa house n' home at this rate."

"Who is?" Tommy asked as he walked into the kitchen, giving his brother a friendly slap on the arm as he passed.

"You asshole." Joel grumbled, eliciting a snigger from Sarah.

"Sarah baby... you're gonna miss the bus if you don't leave." Joel said as he eyed the clock.

"Ah... crap... Okay, gotta go. See ya later Uncle Tommy." She said sweetly as she kissed his cheek before skipping to her father to do the same thing "Still on for tacos tonight?"

"Wouldn't be Tuesday without them." Joel winked before waving at his daughter as she sprinted out the door.

"Ready?" Tommy asked as he unceremoniously shoved the last of his toast into his mouth.

"One of these days, you're gonna choke." He snorted as he pushed himself to his feet "I'm driving today." He said as he snatched up the keys and headed to the garage.

...

Joel was just finishing up laying the table when Sarah came screaming in. He couldn't understand how she had so much energy despite being at school all day and then soccer practice afterwards.

"HEY!" She shouted, practically skipping into the kitchen.

"Hey baby girl, how was your day?" He asked as he grabbed and placed the serving spoon into the bowl of chorizo and potatoes that he'd just finished frying off.

"Great, do you mind if a friend joins us?" She asked sheepishly, smiling sweetly at him as he turned to see a tall boy beside her.

He seemed familiar. His dark hair and piercing blue eyes reminded him of someone he used to know.

"Dad this is Noah." She said sweetly "He's new and his mum wasn't able to get him from school so I said he could come here for dinner and then you could drop him home later?"

The boy's name made Joel's stomach twist. There was no way this was the boy that had been practically glued to Sarah's side as a toddler. There are plenty of kids with that name.

"Baby I-"

"I know I should have asked first but Dad... you always make extra so there will be plenty for all of us." She pleaded with her big brown eyes, knowing that it would win him over.

"I don't wanna impose Mr Miller, sir." Noah said, his head dropping "I can probably walk home from here."

"Sit down." Joel grumbled as he motioned to the table with his head, smiling when Sarah kissed his cheek and whispered thanks in his ear.

He watched as Sarah eagerly dug into the food on the table before noting Noah's hesitance.

"Dig in son." Joel encouraged and Noah gave him a nervous nod before doing as he was bid.

Dinner then passed fairly easily. Sarah talked about school and practice as Noah smiled at her enthusiasm.

"So where are you from Noah?" Joel asked as he wiped his hands on his napkin and grabbed his beer to take a swig.

"I was actually born here." Noah confessed and Joel's heart sped up a little "My parents moved when I was little. Dad wasn't well and so we moved closer to my grandma."

"You don't say." Joel replied, his heart in his throat as Noah continued.

"We moved back here 'cus mum got a job in Austin. Thought it would be good to get a new start after dad..." He trailed off, his eyes growing sad.

"Perhaps next taco Tuesday you can bring Ali?" Sarah suggested as she gave Noah's arm a friendly squeeze.

"Ali?" Joel asked and Noah smiled sweetly "Ali's my little sister. Short for Alison." He replied sweetly "Well little ish... She's a few years younger than me."

"Joel thought he was going to be sick. There was no way this wasn't the Noah he knew as a boy."

"Dad..." Sarah called but Joel felt like he was drowning, her calls for him muffled like his head was underwater.

"DAD!" She shouted and he leapt from his skin as he returned his attention to both of them "You okay?"

"What?" Joel asked as his eyes flitted between the two kids "Oh... Yeah, sorry just uh... Just a long day."

Noah's cell phone ringing filled the awkward silence that had blanketed the room and when he pulled it out to see who it was, he excused himself to take it.

"You sure you're okay dad?" Sarah asked as she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yeah, baby." He replied sweetly, trying his hardest to be convincing "I'm fine."

10 years earlier...

"Joel, you need to take it easy man." Tommy pleaded as he pushed his brother back onto the bed "They cut into your fucking skull man."

"What I need... is to get out of here." Joel grumbled as he let out a frustrated huff.

"Sarah and I nearly lost you." Tommy choked, his eyes growing glossy as he remembered the last few weeks "We've watched you crash twice... Been told to prepare for the worst more times than I wanna remember... So please, just rest."

"How are they?" He asked and Tommy sighed "They're doing as well as can be expected." Tommy sighed and Joel nodded "I think the kids have been a great distraction though."

Joel smiled at that.

"When do you ship out?" Joel asked, changing the subject and Tommy signed "Sunday. Now you're not knocking on death's door, they've decided it's time for me to leave."

"I'll be okay." Joel promised but Tommy didn't look convinced "I promise."

...

2 weeks later...

Joel watched as you puttered around the house, looking anything but relaxed as you finished clearing up after lunch. He gingerly pushed himself to his feet, wincing when his stitches pulled.

"Need some help?" He asked as he limped into the kitchen.

"No." You replied plainly and Joel sighed.

"Please, let me help." Joel pleaded and you growled in frustration.

"You can help me by sitting the fuck down so you don't pull a stitch." You growled and Joel shrunk back.

You'd been cold towards him since he got out and Joel couldn't say he blamed you. You were now stuck babysitting him as he recovered from three major surgeries on top of his daughter whom you'd been caring for for almost a month.

"Please... I just... I want to help."

"You've done enough Joel." That statement had him shrinking away from you as he nodded.

"I'm going to check on Sarah." He said quietly as he limped from the kitchen.

"She's sleeping."

Joel didn't reply. Just left you to finish your frantic cleaning as he limped away with his tail between his legs.

Present day...

"Sorry." Noah said as he stepped back into the room "Was my mum."

"Everything okay? Sarah asked and Noah nodded.

"Yeah, just a broken arm."

"What happened?" Joel asked, his confusion obvious from his expression.

"Oh, my sister hurt herself during gym." Noah replied "Why mum couldn't grab me... Was up the hospital with her."

"What about you dad?" Joel asked and Noah grew quiet again.

"Noah's dad died a few months ago." Sarah pipped up and Joel's eyes almost bugged out of his skull.

"Shit... I'm... Shit I'm so sorry son I-"

"It's fine." Noah assured him as he gave Joel a weak smile "Not like you knew."

"Do you need me to drop you home?" Joel asked and Noah nodded.

"If you don't mind."

Joel gave him a friendly smile before grabbing his truck keys off the side.

"Come on."

...

Sarah sat in the back as Noah directed Joel home. He couldn't help but think about the little boy he'd known a decade ago and how he'd grown into this polite young man. Part of him wanted to confess that he and Sarah had been inseparable as kids but until he was sure that he was who he thought he was, Joel needed to keep that information to himself.

"This is me." Piped up Noah as he pointed at a house with a Large Volvo parked in the drive.

It was nice. Exactly the sort of house he'd pictured you living in. Pulling up, the porch light flicked on and the door opened, revealing a face that Joel had thought he'd never see again. Time had been kind to you. Your hard was cut to just below the shoulders and wavy and your features had matured but it was unmistakeably you.

"Thanks, Mr Miller, sir." Noah said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and grabbed his pack "Thanks for letting me crash Taco Tuesday."

"Call me Joel, please."

Noah gave the older man a shy smile before turning to say goodbye to Sarah. Hopping out the truck, Joel watched as Noah jogged up to you and he smiled as he watched to greet the boy with a hug. He'd known you'd be a natural mum.

You glanced up at him and his heart stopped. Your eyes locked and he wondered if you'd recognise him too but when you squinted before raising your hand in thanks, Joel realised it was too dark in the cab for you to see him.

Sarah clambering from the back to the front pulled Joel's attention away from the spot you'd been standing and he chuckled at the inelegant way the 12-year-old dumped herself in the passenger seat.

"So what do you think of Noah?" She asked as she tried to act casual and Joel snorted.

"He's a good kid." Joel replied as he pulled away from the curb "How did you guys meet anyway?"

"He had to redo a year." Sarah replied "Not his fault. His dad was in and out of hospital so he missed a lot of school. When they moved here the school suggested that it would be good for him to redo 5th grade."

"Do you know what happened to his dad?" Joel asked, trying to sound as inconspicuous as possible.

"Apparently his dad was in an accident when he was little. Complications from that had him in and out of hospital but a year ago he got real sick and his immune system just couldn't cope."

Joel once again felt like he was going to be sick.

He'd had suffered a few long things from the crash. Back pain and headaches being the key ones but nothing following the surgery he'd had. So to learn that Alec had continued to suffer in the 10 years that followed the accident had him wanting to pull over and vomit up the tacos they'd eaten for dinner.

You must hate him.

...

"How was your evening hunny?" You asked as you finished unstacking the dishwasher.

"Was great." He replied with a smile "Made a friend. Sarah Miller." He continued as he placed the plate you handed him in the cupboard "She invited me to join her and her dad Joel for taco Tuesday."

"Joel Miller?" You asked, your heart hammering against your ribs as your eyes widened.

"Yeah... You know him?" Noah asked as he turned to face you "Mum?..."

"Um... Uh, yeah I..."

Noah's eye caught a glimpse of a photo on the wall that until now he'd never looked at twice. It was of you and his dad with two guys you'd told him were friends from when you'd lived here. He looked more closely and noted how he was gripping the jeans of a man who looked a lot like Joel and then his eyes flitted to the little girl in the man's arms. His eyes widened as he studied her face.

"This is them... isn't it?" Noah asked as he turned to look at you, pointing at the photo he'd been studying just a moment ago.

"I was best friends with Joel's late wife." You answered as you sat down at the kitchen table "You and Sarah were inseparable as kids." You chuckled as you remembered how fond of Sarah Noah had been.

"Why have you never mentioned them before?"

"Because we fell out of touch." You confessed, "After your dad's accident, things got tense between us."

"Tense?" Noah pushed "How?"

"Joel was driving the car that night." You told him "He almost died but when he left the hospital, I blamed him for your dad's condition and so our friendship kinda fell apart."

"But Dad's car was t-bone by a drunk truck driver." Noah pushed and you sighed.

"I know."

"So it wasn't Joel's fault."

"No." You choked as you remembered how bad things had gotten "But I blamed him anyway.

10 years earlier...

Joel's head was pounding.

Headaches had been a constant complication from the surgery on his head. Limping into the kitchen, he found you leaning against the counter sipping a cup of coffee as you started out the window across from you.

If you heard him enter you didn't show it. It had been a week since you'd snapped at him and Joel had done his best to give you space. Even if that meant suffering his increasingly painful headaches but this one was unbearable.

"Have you seen my pain pills?" He asked as he limped towards you and you shook your head.

"No."

"Any idea where they could be?" He asked as he tried to rummage through the cupboard for them.

"No."

"Please... my head is pounding." He pleaded and that seemed to snap you out of your trance.

"Oh... You have a headache do you?" You growled condescendingly "Poor Joel's head hurts."

"Please." Joel pleaded but you were having none of it.

"Alec is paralysed from the waist down and you want me to keep track of where you put year headache tablets?" You growled and Joel immediately stopped searching.

"I-"

"The man I love... the father of my unborn child is never going to walk again." You snarled as you slammed down your mug, making Joel flinch from the sound "He's never going to walk again... meanwhile, you get to walk away with no long-term consequences. How is that fair?"

"I'm so sorry."

"I don't want your apologies, Joel." You growled, "I just want you out of my life."

Joel didn't care that you could see his tears. He stood there openly sobbing as you scoffed and turned your back from him.

"I think it's time you left." You said as your hand closed around something in front of you, turning to toss his pain pills at him.

Joel didn't reply he just nodded. Limping from the kitchen to pack his things.

He left an hour later.

Present day...

Noah had been off with you since the evening he'd learned his history with Sarah and Joel. You felt guilty about how you'd treated Joel all those years ago but you'd been pregnant and lost. You'd hated the fact that your husband had been crippled for life and needed someone to blame.

You'd blamed Joel.

You were standing in line waiting for your morning coffee when a familiar voice caught your attention. Looking over your shoulder you saw an older Tommy Miller walking towards the bar.

He ordered his coffee, paid then walked towards you. Only to stop in his tracks when he spotted you and his smile disappeared.

"Long time no see." You said when he took a few more tentative steps towards you.

"Yeah. Been a while." He replied plainly and you flinched at his tone.

"How have you been?" You asked and he shrugged.

"Left the army. Working for Joel now." He replied and you nodded.

"How is Joel?" You asked as you accepted your coffee from the barista and thanked them.

"Do you care?" He growled and your brows pulled together.

"Oh course... I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"He's fine." Tommy grumbled as he poured a few sugars into his coffee before turning to you "He wasn't the night you kicked him out."

"Tommy I-"

"He collapsed after getting out of the taxi that had taken him and Sarah home." He interrupted, his tone ice cold as he turned to face you and leaned in closer "He'd developed another brain bleed and almost died. Ali's parents had to fly out from Canada to take care of Sarah whilst Joel fought for his life for a second time."

"I didn't know." You choked as your hand flew up to your mouth.

"No..." Tommy trailed off as he scoffed at you "You were just too caught up in your own problems to notice how he'd started to go downhill."

You didn't get a chance to reply.

Tommy was out of the door before you could utter a syllable. He just left you standing there feeling terrible about the fact that you had neglected him. You had blamed him for your misfortune and you had pushed him away when he needed you.

You had to fix this.

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jiminjamms · 10 months

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sex therapy :: 18. behind closed doors

chapter tags/warnings: mentions of sex. infidelity/adultery. misogynistic! naoya. manipulative undertones. strong language. classism. heavy angst.

word count: 3.2k

notes: there was a lot dished out in the last chapter, aha! i promise that the storyline's background will get elaborated on in the following chapters. also, this chapter is posted just as jjk season 2 is on schedule for release! so excited to see our man toji and the iconic sashisu trio in full action. likes, comments, and reblogs are deeply appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

“Leave me alone, woman!”

Those were Naoya’s words as he pushed you aside from the foyer, beyond aggravated that—on the one evening he sought a reprieve from his apartment—you followed him to the door, interrogating him on his whereabouts. In his honest opinion, you had no business sticking your nose into his personal matters.

He thought he had made his intentions clear that other night, when you first confronted him about his infidelity: that there was no love in his marriage with you, that he had long promised his heart to someone else, and—the most important bit—that he would not meddle into your affairs so long as you did not meddle with his.

These past few weeks, he had completed his part of the promise. At the very least, you should give him credit for the many evenings he spent pounding his thick semen deep into your warm core, ensuring that not a drip would be wasted.

The thought may have been in vain, but you were sure that you were winning your husband back.

Sure, Naoya Zenin was by no means a big cuddler. Instead, he was the type to mumble a terse ‘good night’ after he had gotten his own orgasm, tossing over to his side of the bed as he slapped your thighs one last time.

But tonight was when you realized that Naoya had never changed at all.

With nothing but a nightgown, you chased after his fast paces. “Then, will you be home in the morn—”

“Know your place before you speak,” he countered impatiently, not showing the slightest worry for the way your lower lip trembled. With great irritation, he ignored your frozen form, departing with one last comment that inflicted a thousand times more pain than any physical wound: “In the Zenin household, all you are is a fucking ornament.”

In other words: pretty, nice, and ultimately useless.

Which is how you ended up suffering alone, all the bottled-up torment gushing out the very moment Naoya disappeared past the front door.

Truthfully, you were not sure how long you had been sobbing, shaking, and crying. As the tears that blurred your vision cleared into a puddle by your feet, you stared into a nearby mirror reflection. Sorrow etched into your features: vibrant eyes now dull and cheeks with remnants of cascading tears.

What did you do to deserve this?

Was this because you were the homewrecker to begin with? Was this your punishment for marrying a man who had already promised himself to someone else, for hindering the romance between your husband and his true lover?

Naoya’s secret girlfriend, not his lawfully wedded wife, was whose existence had carved a special place in his heart. But you?

No, you were just his toy, a ragdoll to be tossed to the side once he was done and tired.

If only you weren’t so selfless. Your life would have been easier if you cared less about being a people pleaser and instead prioritized your mental well-being.

But Naoya had made a point. His father Naobito and your father Daisuke had spent months arranging the marriage details, determined to solidify the relations between two of Japan’s most influential households.

‘We wouldn’t want them finding out about our part-time flings, now would we?’

Weeks later, these words from your husband still echoed fresh in your head. Naoya was right, he and you were married for a reason. Although he had long been devoted to another woman and you had secretly indulged in various extramarital ventures, your vows to each other had been pledged in a ceremony that graced television screens and magazine covers. Renouncing the marriage and subsequently disclosing the reasons would not only leave you both falling from grace but also begin an ugly feud between families too powerful and dignified to see themselves lose.

At this point, there seemed to be no solution to your marriage, nor did you desire one.

With this, anyone could tell you desperately needed someone who would listen to your anguished thoughts. You needed someone who would empathize with your frustration and your sentiments. You needed a therapist.

Perhaps...a sex therapist.

Suddenly, you remembered. Mind in auto-pilot, you traveled toward the unit's walk-in closet, connected to the master bedroom from the side. With so many handbags on display, you nearly forgot about this one Goyard tote placed toward the bottom had it not been for the very important business card you had left inside.

You rummaged through the purse and fished a thick black badge from an inner pocket.

Dr. Toji Fushiguro.

Delicately, your fingers traced the name etched in graceful and golden strokes, seemingly flowing over the card’s sleek surface. Your last encounter with Toji, that one evening in Teyvat, didn’t end prettily. How you now wished to apologize to him, to tell him that he was right, that he had always been right—about how you had deserved better, about how Naoya could never truly like you, and about how you should have been considering a divorce long ago.

When the scattered light from above played upon the card, your eyes were drawn to the embossed numbers below his office’s address.

What if...you called him?

No, you really shouldn’t. Toji could not be burdened with your internal agony. Not at this late night hour.

But if your own therapist Toji wasn’t the one to talk to, then who would that be?

You abhorred how you were alone with your thoughts and, surely, no one else—not your father, and definitely not your husband—would want to deal with your emotional turmoil.

So, you decided.

Grabbing your phone from the tabletop, you dialed the number, the sound of each digit pressing against the screen echoing in the quiet room and your nerves dancing in tandem with anticipation as the phone started to ring.

What if Toji didn’t want to talk to you anymore? Besides, you did just depart suddenly and angrily the last time you had seen him. Honestly, you could still back out from this call if you wanted to. Maybe the better decision would be to sit in your own discomfort and try to figure out the solution yourself rather than—

“Good evening, you have reached Dr. Toji Fushiguro’s line after hours. How may I help you?”

Wait, who was this?

For a moment, panic crashed upon you. Interacting with strangers was never your strong suit, but there was a familiarity to the enigmatic timbre that hummed on the other line. The first and last time you dialed Toji’s number, his son had picked up, giving your call a very awkward start. Whoever picked up this time was not the teenage boy, however, and you pursed your lips in an attempt to identify the mystery man.

“Geto...?” you murmured when the realization struck.

Upon recognizing your voice, the said man paused briefly, likely surprised to hear from you but moreso bothered at the shakiness in your tone.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Can you please,” and you stopped.

With floodgates bursting, you melted onto the floor with a choked sob, clutching your nightgown to ground yourself. Gosh, you had to stop sniffling if you ever wanted to finish your sentence. What a mess you were, your syllables punctuated with shaky inhales.

“Can I please talk to Toji?”

When the line fell silent once more, your heart raced. Only when the words fell from your mouth did you realize how offensive you may have sounded. After all, Geto had mentioned that Toji was off the clock, and what was wrong with confiding in him?

“Sorry!” you half-yelped and half-choked, grateful that no one else could see the tears streaming down your cheeks. “Sorry, Geto! I’m certain that you’re a wonderful therapist too and would be an amazing person to talk to, but—“

“Send me your address. I’ll pick you up shortly.”

And Geto was true to his word.

Within fifteen minutes, a Porsche Cayman turned into your street, the vehicle’s yellow exterior gleaming from the street lamps before slowing to a stop not too far from your apartment building’s entryway.

From the curb, you could peer inside from the windows, seeing Geto in the driver’s seat. He slicked his long hair back, the strands bunched up with an elastic with stray tufts resting behind his neck. He smoothed his top—a Hawaiian shirt with pink pineapple prints (just how many button-ups like these did he have?)—and rolled his window down completely.

Geto threw one arm out to greet you with a wave and then, with his chin, gestured toward the empty shotgun seat.

“Get in.”

Compliant, you wrapped around the bumper before getting inside. The interior was a creamy leather, leaving you to sink into the material that wrapped around your weight like warm water.

The moment your seatbelt clicked into place, you were suddenly pulled toward the side in one swift motion as Geto tucked his fingers below your chin and lifted your head.

His lips.

Upon turning towards him, the first thing on Suguru Geto that drew your attention was his lips. Plush. Smooth. Lightly parted as though they invited you to explore the mischief within.

A dangerous expedition, that would be.

You realized you had never seen Geto up close before, mere centimeters from him such that his breaths fanned hotly across your cupid’s bow. He had a nice jawline too, not to mention defined cheekbones that blessed him with strong features rolling against his softer angles. When an unexpected glint caught you off-guard, your gaze shifted to the silver piercings that adorned each brow. Edgy. You liked how the metal accentuated his natural arches, shining when headlights from passing cars shone into the vehicle.

When he blinked, you then turned to his eyes, and goodness—you met the most intense inky pools that could ever peer into your soul.

How long had he been looking at you like that? Why did he look at you like that? With those insanely dark depths that swam with so much curiosity that you almost wished you hadn’t looked at him to begin with.

Almost. Almost wished.

Thankfully (or not), Geto averted his gaze first. He inspected you instead, gently wiping at a small black-tinted streak near your chin, his brows pinching as concern tugged his handsome features.

“Been crying?” Geto prodded. Of course, he noticed the glassy film that shone on your pretty eyes, the puffiness that dabbed your warm cheeks. When you did not immediately reply, he brushed a warm thumb over your lower jaw. “Listen, cupcake. You may not know this about me but...” he paused, the usual glimmer in his sharp eyes darkening into a chilling stare. “...whoever did this to you, I will fuck them up.”

At his offer, you forced a sad smile.

“Nobody,” you lied. Geto had already had taken the time to comfort you with his presence at such a late hour, and he could not be burdened with the pitiful details involving your marriage. “Just some personal stress with—”

“It was Naoya, wasn’t it?”

Just hearing your husband’s name left you frozen, your heart suffocating in pain. “Was...it obvious?”

As the man clicked his tongue, he brought his hand up again. He brushed a few strands away from your face, tucking them loosely behind your ear with lithe and tattooed fingers, your earrings swaying softly with the movement.

“I see lonely eyes like yours more often than I’d like,” he explained, expression sullen.

While you had once registered Geto as outrageous and unscrupulous upon your first encounter, you were starting to realize that he was—in fact—incredibly empathetic.

"You do?" you asked quietly.

At the question, he pushed his lips to one side and sat up straight, placing his hands on the steering wheel so that he could idly drum his fingertips on the surface.

“Everywhere. I see those hopeless and confused gazes everywhere,” and his tone was melancholic as he started a list, “Clients in sex therapy because their partners can’t satisfy them, clients in sex therapy even if their partners can satisfy them. Don’t even get me started on some unfortunate patients I’ve seen from the hospital’s OBGYN department when I work there.”

Given Geto’s carefree nature, you had forgotten that he had mentioned his work in the medical field before, and you let silence hang in the air while you quietly contemplated the emotions Geto must encounter as a practitioner across various disciplines.

Noticing the resulting sigh from your lips, Geto relented. He really wasn’t the type to poke his nose into other people’s business, anyway.

“Listen, you don’t have to say more if you don’t want to,” he offered, easing the silence by re-adjusting his rearview mirror. “I get that. I respect your privacy.”

When the engine rumbled to a start again, you peered over your shoulder. “Then, where are we going?”

After such a somber discussion not long ago, Geto’s lips twitched upward, appreciating how comical you could be.

What a silly question, he must have thought.

“To the one man who can understand your situation better than anybody.” With his left hand, Geto signaled right to pull away from the sidewalk, his indicators blinking against the road. "You were the one who wanted to see him, no?"

You twiddled with the wedding band on your finger, a habit you have yet to drop. "I thought Toji wasn't working now."

"He's not. Usually, I'd handle any late-night emergencies for him, but I'll take you to his place instead."

"Oh." That did not make you any less anxious. "So, he knows I'm coming over then?"

"Nope," the therapist answered curtly, and he popped the 'p' in his response. "But, you know, just for you," and Geto shot you one last wink, "he would do anything."

Toji was not the 'broke motherfucker' that Sukuna had once made him out to be.

What broke motherfucker lived among Tokyo’s tallest residential skyscrapers?

As the Porsche slowed upon arrival, you craned your neck to gaze at the colossal structure, which was no normal residential building for Japan’s middle or lower classes. Rather, this was an extravagant premise clearly tailored for—not even the nouveau riche—but for the descendants from old, old money.

While Geto pulled into the entrance's porte cochère, y ou had to ask, "This is where Toji lives?"

How his colleague was able to afford such a luxury in the Minato Ward, the most expensive neighborhood in not only the Japanese capital but also the entire country, was beyond your knowledge. You glanced over at the vehicle's infotainment system at the center, which—according to Google Maps—indicated in bold lettering that your destination was, in fact, to the left.

You glanced up again, the high rise making you feel like an ant in Disneyland. "Sure you didn't take me to the wrong address?"

Shifting the gear to park, Geto nodded assuredly. "A hundred and ten percent positive."

"But then," you turned toward him in your seat, "Sukuna called Toji broke? Toji could not afford this if he was broke."

At first, Geto lifted a brow in confusion. But as the words sank in, his fingers traced along the wheel as he chuckled. "Ah, that. Toji just isn't where he could possibly be."

"Could possibly be?" you repeated.

He hummed, looking ahead. "Longest story, honey.” He sat back in his seat, toying with his man bun in thought. "Shouldn't be a tale for me to tell anyway."

Your mind might have buzzed with curiosity, but you conceded. Whether Toji wanted to reveal his private matters was not something for his colleague to decide.

"Look," Geto pointed beyond the shotgun seat window, "the footman's here."

Following the direction of his gaze, you glanced behind you to see someone approaching the car. With white-gloved hands, the attendant opened the door in one controlled swing, waiting patiently and wordlessly for you to disembark. Half-expectantly, you waited for Geto to get off as well, but he shook his head.

"I can't stay here," he informed and pointed to a nearby signage. "I can only drop you off because I can't leave my car here for too long. Besides, I've got plans."

"You do?" That should not surprise you. Didn't Sukuna mention that Geto had something going on with, what was her name again, Shoko? Wasn't she, like, his girlfriend or—

“Work,” he replied, reminding you that he was the therapist on call tonight. He then turned to the footman beyond the door, ducking slightly so that he could catch the escort's gaze. “This young lady is here for the Fushiguro residence.”

“Of course.” The footman offered a warm grin, stepping back to gesture you inside. “Right this way, Mrs. Fushiguro.”

Mrs. Fushiguro?!

The misplaced designation really shouldn’t have caused your heart to flutter as much as that did, but you could feel your entire body grow warm, hoping that no one could notice how you broke into a flustered sweat.

“Ah, I’m not—”

“Thank you for taking care of her,” Geto interrupted with an impish smile, his eyes crinkled into mischievous half-moons. Oh, he found this funny, didn’t he? He tipped his head to the side, and he waved. “Have a wonderful evening.”

“Hey! I—” How dare Geto leave you like this?

Yet, with the footman already heading back inside, you could not finish berating him, instead focused on scurrying after the steward’s long strides like a squirrel.

Once at the entrance, the heavy glass doors parted automatically, and the lobby inside must be a whole other world. Fresh blooms nearby welcomed you with their sweet perfume as a staff member behind the concierge desk acknowledged your presence with a slight nod, a gesture you shyly returned. Meanwhile, the marble floors clicked to your footsteps as scones along the walls washed the vicinity with cozy hues, plush armchairs to the side offering a small sanctuary. Living amongst such splendor yourself, the sheer elegance in this space was not anything new, but what you were marveled by was the fact that the Toji Fushiguro lived here? In this very building?!

“The elevators are over there, madam,” the footman called when he must have noticed your stupor.

You blinked rapidly, otherwise not noticing that you were headed in the wrong direction. “Oh.”

He led you down one grandeur hall, scanning a card at various security checkpoints to allow you through. Upon reaching the elevator bank, he pressed a button at the dispatch screen, and the rightmost door opened with a number on a dashboard indicating that the lift was headed to the forty-ninth floor.

Upon yourself stepping in, the doors slid to a close and offered one last view of the footman who had angled himself into a bow.

It was ridiculous how skittish you were as the elevator ascended, the Mozart tune from the overhead speakers doing little to calm your nerves. When the doors reopened a little less than a minute later, you were introduced to another warmly-lit corridor. The passageway itself had a design similar to the lobby floor except with one large abstract artwork centered across the elevators.

At an incredibly slow pace, you neared the only door on the floor, the entrance’s deep dark mahogany surface looming over your much smaller presence. There was no turning back now, and you pushed the small glowing button at the side.

There was no response.

Of course, there wouldn’t be. You had only rung the bell ten seconds ago, but anticipation rushed to your fingertips. While holding your breath, you turned to your clicking heels.

You battled your body’s thrumming desire to flee and, just as the seconds seemed to stretch into hours, the door finally cracked open.

Your gaze shot up.

On the other side, Toji stood—silent and stunned. There were a million questions that you caught running across his murky emerald eyes, but a much-needed sense of relief embraced you as you met his familiar, comforting gaze, tears welling up at your lashes all over again.

“Can...we talk?”

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: Unrelated, but I've recently started my full-time job! Balancing my personal and health priorities along with my work has been challenging, but I've made a point to still work on my fics as writing and interacting with my readers (you!) genuinely makes me happy. Sending love and hugs to you all.

taglist: @dissociatingdiva @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @nemoyr @huangfairy @shadowarchon @203steph @agentdedf1sh @cloudybabes @hinativity @lynn-writes-things @illicitwriter @7oji @kikuchimi @piqer @nobody289x @chaoticjojofan @musicisme333 @vvestwoodrose @kumocchin @s-guru @mwahilovemylife @hey-gurls69 @cloudsinthecosmos @moon-mumu-moon @kazscara @obitohno @skilerfrostfairy @funicidals @nico707 @proteovaldez @tsukiyohanayome @marimoares @qirbys @moodpi @blackdragoncigarette @puffaloxx @tokyometronetwork @downtown-roponggi @the-cosmos-network

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cocteaucherry · 1 month

Text

trials and tribulations .3

summary- falling in love with your sworn enemy was not something you planned.

cws- p&p au/ bridgerton au, inaccurate use of regency language, 18+, misogyny, sexual tension, future smut in later chapters, slow slow burn, LENGTHY descriptions, ooc Suguru, suguru x f!reader, talks of f!masturbation , not proofread

a/n- awkward silence when I up and left for 22 days with no explanation, I’ll touch more on that in a later post but for now enjoy!

taglist @mandysfanfics, @ti-mame, @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer

The rain belted on the glass as you stood on the other side watching as the world washed away.

You felt as if you needed a cold bath, something to wash the prints of Suguru Geto’s touch off your clothes, your hands graced over the areas where his touch lingered.

Why did you feel deprived of his touch? Why did you need his touch?

“Miss l/n I’m sorry to interrupt-“

He was caught off guard by your small yelp, you had to be more attentive in this house

“Sorry Ijichi! I get lost in thought a lot.” You bowed in apology before he also returned one.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve been more gentle with my approach.” He cleared his throat with a small smile, “It’s getting rather late and the rain hasn’t stopped.. we would offer you a carriage home but the roads have been washed out.”

“I guess I’ll wait for the rain.. or I’ll try to walk.” You shrugged contemplating your options, you really didn’t want to walk especially in this weather.

“Actually, Mr. Gojo has offered you to stay in a spare room for the evening.. we wouldn’t want you catching a cold.”

You smiled before letting out a small laugh, “I’m very grateful.. but I don’t want my mother and father to worry.”

“We assure you that your parents won’t be worried, I’m sure they’d be more upset with us for letting you walk home in this.”

Your eyebrow rose as you crossed your arms, “Forgive me for asking, I know he’s ill at the moment but will I ever get to see him during this visit?” The request came out rather timidly to your dismay but it made Ijichi sweat nonetheless.

“Well-uhm- you see Mr. Gojo wouldn’t want you to get sick as well.” Ijichi was definitely not great under pressure, you noted.

You uncrossed your arms nodding your head, “alright then, I will happily stay in a room until the rain stops.”

“Then you may follow me.”

Your head was spinning with questions, why would Ijichi possibly lie abt Gojo? Why would Gojo invite you knowing he was ill? Your heart ached in your chest, Geto's actions being the one to cause it.

Your stomach dropped and your blood ran cold, if the roads were washed out that means Geto couldn’t get back as well? Was he also going to stay?

You shook your head pushing the thoughts away. Hopefully you’d only encounter him one more time tonight.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

“Suguruuu~ are you listening?”

Suguru was snapped out of thought, he stood before Gojo’s bed, the white haired man staring at him with a sick grin. “Yes… I am.” He mumbled, pushing strands of rain soaked hair out of his face.

“Y’know, for a man who’s supposedly sick you seem rather energetic .”

Satoru smirked, leaning his head back, “I’m just plagued and riddled with sickness Sugu, and it seems you are too..” he pointed a finger wagging it teasingly.

The raven haired male stared blankly at him, crossing his arms, “I’m perfectly fine Satoru, please get some rest or die of pneumonia.” He turned on his heel, preparing to exit, “I’m going home-“

“Yeeesh about thattt- I’m afraid you’re not going home anytime soon, roads washed out.”

Geto froze a vein appearing above his eyebrow, “Am I supposed to stay here for the night?”

“With her yes, maybe if you’re lucky she’ll give you a kind ‘goodnight’” Satoru hummed, staring out the window to see the tumultuous rain belt down.

“Not planning on it, Satoru,” Suguru mumbled, stepping out of the room.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

The rain wasn’t letting up anytime soon.

You found yourself wandering the halls, the occasional strike of lightning helping to guide your way.

You admired the classic oil paintings that adorned the ornate halls smiling to yourself when you found a portrait of a familiar face.

hair as pure as snow with a slightly rounder face and those blue eyes that seemed to bore into your soul.

Although just like usual he was never alone, always accompanied by what seemed to be his shadow.

Dark hair that was shorter with those intense amber eyes.

“Thought you went home miss l/n”

this man truly was a shadow.

You turned to the voice of Suguru Geto, but he looked more undone. Hair slightly wet as it fell past his back some strands stuck to his forehead.

“How come you’re always near or behind him?” You ignored his question pointing your head to the portrait, footsteps echoed as he stood next to you. “How come you never answered my question?”

“Why would I answer you? Why should I?” You spun to face him as he avoided eye contact with you, “You never give me a reason to answer kindly.” You scoffed as you walked impossibly closer to him, Geto’s heart skipped a few beats as he finally made eye contact with your gaze.

He cleared his throat trying to regain his stance (control), “Satoru and I have been together for…awhile, while we both are wealthy, his family is significantly stronger.”

“So that makes you his equal, even possibly a scapegoat.” You stepped back, your eyes quickly shifting to his hand that twitched at your movement.

A grin appeared on his face, “Quite the opposite, I help save his ass on multiple occasions. He’s not the best at keeping his head straight.. or keeping his pants on.”

You choked on your saliva at the sudden mention which caused him to chuckle from his throat, “What? I know a forward woman as yourself isn’t taboo to the mention of sex? Satoru excels at that.”

You felt a blush creep under your skin, “What makes you think that?”

“The way your face visibly became uncomfortable told me that,” his eyes drifted quickly up and down your frame, “I can tell when a woman is.. how do I say this? Frustrated?”

“Frustrated?!-“ you yelled out but quickly covered your mouth to whisper it, “I’m frustrated because you- you’re!-“ you stuttered angrily, scolding yourself for not having a better comeback.

“Maybe you should try exploring your own body first before going after someone like Satoru, just a suggestion,” Geto said, turning on his foot to walk down the darkened hallway.

You had almost forgotten it was raining during the conversation, the soft patter of rain filling your ear drums as you try to reconcile what just occurred.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

You weren’t sexually frustrated, You weren’t sexually frustrated,

You repeated in your head as you buried yourself into the pillows of the way too extravagant bed, “ridiculous, he doesn’t know anything..” you mumbled clasping your hands close to your chest.

You tried to force yourself to drift off to sleep but your head began to pound and your body became warm, the handprints he left on your waist, they still left an excruciatingly burning linger. The way his hair framed his face annoyed you.

His avoidant stare annoyed you. His soft voice annoyed you, his strong hands annoyed you. His sly smirk, His perfect teeth, the way his fingers graced your breasts.

His last words echoed in your head broken by your lust “Explore, body”

You were taught otherwise in your life, should you?

You felt your hands drift towards your panties playing with the hem, would you really touch yourself out of Suguru Geto’s words?

You let out a frustrated groan, you couldn’t let him win.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu x reader #x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto angst #gojo satoru #suguru geto x reader #geto x y/n #geto smut

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jessicaloons · 8 months

Text

Chapter 7:

All that bloodshed, crimson clover…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

I should’ve known that Camille and I would never be friends. From day one when Charles brought her along, introducing her officially as his girlfriend. We were sitting at our table, Charles and Daniel left to get some drinks, Joris and Shima were talking away, as she scooted next to me, giving me a pretty smile when she looked around, then her expression changed.

"I know that Charles and you are like siblings, super close and whatever. But please be aware that he has now a girlfriend, so his undivided attention is on me. Not on you. And I’ve seen the little edits and posts of your so called fans… you and Charles are friends. That’s it. There is no love story behind it. So please stop being all over him, hugging him and touching him inappropriately the whole time. If that’s clear for you, I can tolerate you." she whispered it fast in my ear and before I could even say anything she smiled and gave me a side hug "I’m so excited to hear all the childhood stories you have in store from Charles!" then she laughed and I saw Charles sitting down next to her, smiling happily that his girlfriend and best friend seemingly got along pretty well. I just nodded, took the drink Daniel brought for me and jugged it down, then I grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the dance floor.

"Are you okay, Lizzie?" Daniel asked and I just nodded.

"Yeah! I just wanted to dance! So, come on! Let’s get this party started!" I answered and he just cocked an eyebrow but played along.

When the night ended and we were all sitting in the taxi back home to Charles flat I had a weird feeling in my gut. Usually I would sleep in Charles’ bed and Shima and Daniel would sleep in the guest bedroom but after Camilles little speech, it didn’t felt right. So when we arrived at his flat and I was ready for bed, I left the bathroom and grabbed a blanket from the cupboard in the hallway and snuggled into the sofa.

"What are you doing, ma belle?" Charles whispered 10 minutes later and stood in front of me "I was waiting for you and thought you got lost on your way!"

"I shouldn’t sleep in your bed anymore, Charles. You have a girlfriend now. It’s not really respectful towards her…" I mumbled and faked a yawn, eyes closed.

"I can’t let you sleep on the sofa, ma belle! That’s ridiculous! Come on!" Charles said and tried to snatch the blanket away, but I held it close to my body.

"Charles, let me sleep now! Go to bed! Good night!" I groaned and turned around, turning my back on him. I heard him leaving a minute later. And I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding in.

"Happy Birthday, Lizzie!" Arthur yelled and hugged me close, behind him I saw Clara, his girlfriend of 5 months.

"Happy Birthday, Lizzie! Thanks for inviting me as well!" she said and we kissed cheeks.

"How couldn’t I? You’re just the sweetest and I never saw little Tutur this happy!" I said and she smiled "So, there’s the bar, try the '22' it’s the signature cocktail for tonight!" she nodded and followed Arthur towards the bar.

Next arrived Joris and Riccardo, both almost screaming their 'Happy Birthdays'. Lorenzo arrived with Pierre, right after Jamie and Jessica. I looked over and saw Daniel and Shima talking with Joris. Julia and Andrea sitting in a corner, both pregnant and exchanging the newest mum gossip. I talked to everyone, dancing a little but couldn’t stop myself from checking the clock and the entrance every couple of seconds. No sign of Charles. My heart got heavy. I was just about to get a drink when Charles arrived, alone.

"Happy Birthday, Lizzie." he said and hugged me only for a second then let go of me.

"Thanks Charlie, are you okay?" I asked him and he just nodded.

"Yeah sure, I just need a drink." he answered and with that he was gone, off to the bar.

I didn’t see Charles much the whole evening, after an hour or so Camille walked in with 2 of her friends, not even acknowledging me. As Andrea and Shima brought in my cake and everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' for me I looked around, searching for Charles, it was a tradition by now that we were fighting each other to blow out each others candles on our birthdays but he was standing in a corner, talking with Camille, not even singing. My heart stung and I felt tears in the corners of my eyes but I smiled even wider and pretended it’s because they were all singing for me, then I blew out my candles. As I opened my eyes, I made eye contact with Charles who looked at me for a second, then he looked at Camille who said something to him and he just nodded. After that she dragged him away. Worst birthday ever.

"Where’s Charles?" I asked Camille as she stood at the door with her 2 friends who only looked at me once and then walked off.

"He’s getting the car, we’re leaving. I’m feeling not that good." she just said and with that I only nodded.

"Then get well soon, Camille. Take care." I said and walked away, straight into Joris who pulled me into his side.

"If they don’t want to celebrate, more to party for us, right?" he tried to cheer me up and I smiled at him, tears threatening to fall.

"Thanks Jo." I whispered as he kissed my temple and together we walked on the dance floor.

"So what does that mean?" Charles asked and I just shrugged my shoulders as I was adjusting the mask and dropping some chips in our shopping cart "It‘s decided? You’re definitely not racing?"

"Nope, the WSeries generates not enough money to compensate for all the special guidelines and protocols that have to be followed." I sighed and he only shook his head, as Camille stepped in front of us.

"Bae? What takes you so long? Come on! We have so much to do!" her voice is loud and shrill and I’m for once happy that I have to wear a mask as I grimaced at the way she called him ‚Bae‘ and how her ring clad fingers clasped around his bizeps.

"Oh Lizzie, I hope you don’t mind, I asked Joris if you could stay tonight at his place. Charles and I want some time alone… you know it’s a bit crowded with all 3 of us at our flat!" her voice is sweet like honey as she almost whispered it to me, Charles ahead of us pushing the cart as she walked next to me.

"Yeah, sure. Have fun in your flat." I answer and put a lot of emphasis on the your, then I walked away.

I tried it with her, more than once. But whenever I tried to approach her, be nice to her, talk to her, she always showed me that she’s not interested in any kind of friendship. She and her friends told me more than once that I’m only a friend of Charles’ and that she is his main focus. In front of everyone else, especially Charles, she played the sweet girlfriend who’s oh so nice to me, but the ugly truth was: she hated me. And she made it her goal to show me just how much.

"She called it ‚our‘ flat, Jo! OUR FLAT!" I vented and Joris just shook his head, downing his glass "There are so many sweet girls out there, why her?"

"Oh Lizzie, come on you know the answer…" Joris mumbled and I looked at him confused "Nevermind… Camille kicked you out of HIS flat because they want some time alone? She’s such a liar!"

"What do you mean?" I sat up and looked at him "Spill the tea, Trouche!"

"He sent me a text a couple of minutes ago, she must’ve told him a lie…" Joris began and started to look through his phone "Here…"

"Oh wow, clever… but wait? Why did you let me stay here? What did she tell you?" I asked him and he shrugged his shoulders.

"You looked like a lost puppy, you had booze and food…" he answered and I snorted.

"So I stood in front of your door and you just let me camp out here not even questioning me what I’m doing here? Just accepting it?" he nods and I hug him "I think I like you even more than Charles!"

"Oh Lizzie, we both know that’s not true… but thanks for saying it anyway!" we both laughed "What are we watching?"

"The downfall of my career? Is that a movie?" I asked and Joris chuckled.

"No, but I just remember, have you read the news article about you? From earlier today?" Joris asked and I shook my head "It’s on BBC sports, wait I have it open on my iPad." he got up and returned a moment later with his iPad "I really hope that it will help you to get a seat!" he handed me his iPad and I started reading.

"He is so right! I really hope it opens some eyes!" Joris said as I locked the screen "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it’s just… it’s the first time a serious and big broadcaster supports me so openly! I mean yeah sure, Sky and Co. always supported me, but they never talked about the… what did he write… injustice. They just said that I would deserve a seat but that’s it. I want to thank him. How do I do that?" I said and Joris looked through the website.

"There is a contact mail address so maybe you could send an e-mail? Or check if he has Insta?" he said and I nodded. I had to thank Andrew Benson. He was the first male journalist who tackled this issue. And he wasn’t just a journalist, he was the chief F1 writer for the BBC. His opinion would be taken serious. And that was something that I really appreciated.

"…she’s just so annoying! Why can’t she just stay in stupid Germany and drink beer and look like a bulky, fat bitch on her own. Yeah she gained so much weight over this break!Why does she always have to hang around Charles! And why is she always hugging him? Ugh I hate it! He can’t focus on his career if he always has to think about what happens with hers! He’s way to good for her, for this world!" Camille talked on the phone on the balcony as I came back from my morning run.

I quietly made my way into the guest bed room, took out my MacBook and booked the next flight from Nice to Stuttgart. In 4 hours was the departure. There were two things she was right about, as much as I hated to admit it, Charles needed to focus on his own career now and not what happens to mine, and she was also right when it came to my body, since I knew there wouldn’t be a season to drive in this year I hadn’t been super strict with my diet and also skipped one or two work out sessions. I just didn‘t thought someone would notice. Apparently I was wrong. So when I wanted to jump under the shower I took a good look in the mirror, she was more than right, I was getting bulky. I pinched the excess fat on my stomach, I sighed. I had to lose some weight, that’s for sure. With that I showered and dressed up as Charles walked into the room.

"So I was thinking we could… what are you doing?" he looked confused.

"I need to sort out what I’m doing now. I can’t just sit around, doing nothing!" I mumbled and grabbed my suitcase and opened it up.

"You sure you don’t want to stay a little longer?" Charles asked as I threw my stuff into my suitcase.

"No, Charles, it’s alright. I have to figure out what I’m doing this season and you have to start preparing for the new season and well you have…" I answered and Charles looked at me.

"What do I have?" he asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Doesn’t matter." I mumbled but Charles tucked at my wrist and made me look up to him.

"You have Camille, Charles. You should spend your time with her." I said bluntly and continued to throw my stuff into my suitcase.

"Yeah sure, she’s here sometimes, but she’s not you? And I want to spend my time with you…" he began but I clapped my hands and interrupted him.

"All done." I said and Charles just shook his head.

"You and Camille? Is there like… I don’t know, don’t you like her?" he asked and I turned away to grab my backpack.

"No, she’s nice. I’m happy for you. I don’t know, we kinda didn’t have the biggest chance to get to know each other that much, but that’s fine. She makes you happy, right? And as long as you’re happy, I’m happy!" I lied and shoved my phone into my backpack "We’ll talk later, ok? I gotta get going if I want to catch my flight!"

"You’ll be in Austria, right?" he asked and I nodded.

"Of course, Charles!" I answered and with that I hugged him, before I gave him a kiss on his cheek I stopped myself, Camilles words in the back of my mind. Charles seemed to notice my hesitation and hugged me tighter before kissing my temple.

"You know that I love you, right? No matter what?" he whispered and I could feel my throat closing up, tears stinging in my eyes. I swallowed hard and nodded.

"Sure. I love you too, Charles." I whispered back and with that I pushed myself off of him and turned around to grab my backpack and suitcase. As I got into the taxi and Charles waved me goodbye, I could feel the tears streaming down my face.

14. June 2020:

"I think you should tell Charles how she is towards you? I mean, she’s so sweet and nice! But when I heard how she talked to you?" Julia said and I just shook my head.

"He loves her, Julia. And she’s making him happy… so if that is how it is, then I’ll have to accept it." I replied and she just shrugged.

"I don’t know, Liz… maybe she is a good girlfriend to Charles, but if he knew how she’s with you? He would break up in no time!" Julia said and I shook my head.

"He’s happy, so I am too. I can take whatever she has in store for me." I answered and with that the topic was done.

"You haven’t eaten much? I thought that’s your favourite cake?" Julia asked then, glancing down at my plate, cake barely eaten.

"Stomach bug…" I said and she raised an eyebrow.

"Okay?" she looked not really convinced.

"I need to stay in shape." I sighed and Julia nodded slightly.

"Hmm ok…" she said and looked at me for a while.

Julia walked me outside, I glanced one last time at little Alex and waved Julia’s mum before we walked to my car.

"Did they made a decision yet, about next season?" Julia asked and I shook my head, watching the neighbour kids play with their football on the lawn.

"No, not yet. They say we will start next year with another season, but yeah we will see how it plays out." I answered.

"I don’t get why they won’t do this season? F1 starts next month, right?" she asked and as I nod she scoffs, I stood in front of my car and sighed.

"Yeah well, it is what it is." I shrugged and then I heard a loud engine roaring, coming our way and I turned and looked at the street, right in front of me the huge traffic sign with a circled 30, a black Mercedes with it’s blasting engine coming closer.

I turned to Julia as I saw the football of the neighbour kids rolling on the street, the younger boy running after it, not looking for cars or anything. The driver of the Mercedes was not slowing down at all, so I had to act fast and ran to grab the little boy, but in a split second the car was in front of us and I had no other choice, I scooped him up, turned my back to the car and braced myself for the impact. I closed my eyes and encased the boy in my arms, trying to shield him as good as I could. I felt a shock wave going through my body, all feelings were gone, only weightlessness and silence left. Then it changed and I heard the faint whimpering of the boy. Then another shock wave and the pain erupted through every fibre of my body. I felt myself moving and opened my eyes, but I only saw blurred outlines. With my body still moving, it felt like I was skidding across the tarmac. Then the underground changed into something more soft and my body came to a halt. I laid on my back, the trembling boy on my chest crying. I took a painful deep breath and opened my eyes.

“Are you okay? Little one?” I whispered breathlessly and he slowly turned his head up and looked at me “Can you carefully move your legs for me? And then your arms? Good job, buddy. It’s going to be okay!”

I heard the blood rushing in my ears. The throbbing pain in my head was getting worse. I felt how my hair was getting wet, some liquid trickling down the side of my head into my neck. My limbs started hurting like they were crushed. Breathing shallow, lungs feeling like they were on fire. Somewhere far away I heard someone screaming my name, my hands slipped from the boys back as I turned my head to the right. I saw the green grass around us turning redder and redder, stained with my blood, I focused on the clover, crimson droplets on the four leafs, then everything turned black.

Charles POV:

It was all over the news, even a video of it was on TikTok. I drummed with my fingers on the steering wheel, driving faster than allowed. The image of her petite frame flying through the air, skidding over the tarmac, her body on the blood soaked grass, the paramedics leaning over her lifeless body, reanimating her. It all kept playing in a loop inside of my head. I couldn’t lose her. She couldn’t be gone. I couldn’t live without her. It just was not possible.

"How is she?" my first words as I stormed into the waiting area but as I saw the look on their faces my world began to crumble, my vision getting blurry. Someone helped me sit down, but I couldn’t see who.

"She’s still in surgery. We have to wait now and have faith."

She was still in surgery? It happened almost 12 hours ago.

She looked so peaceful, so beautiful, as if she was sleeping, if it wasn’t for the tube, the cords and wires attached to her body, the bruises on her face, the bandages covering most of her body, a cast on her left hand and right leg. I held her cold hand, tracing patterns on the back of it, like I did so many times before, only this time her cheeks aren’t turning red, she’s not giggling and giving me that look that made all my insides melt. No, she felt cold, as if she wasn’t here. Her presence gone, every room she entered always lit up because of her, but I sat in a dark hospital room, sterile walls, sterile sheets, machines beeping, screens illuminating the space between us, the smell of disinfectant in the air. The last time I sat in a room like this was Dads and she was the one guiding me through it, shining like a beacon of hope. But she wasn’t here to do it again. And I had no idea how I would survive this without her. I could feel hot tears stinging in the corner of my eyes. This time I had to be the strong one, for the both of us, but how? How, when everyone I loved only left me alone? How when the only one who ever got through to me, was the one I needed to be strong for. My breathing ragged and my chest hurt when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I flinched.

"Charles? When was the last time you slept?" Marina asked quietly and I looked up, trying to stable my breathing again.

"I don’t know, when you called I got straight into the car and drove here? Since when am I here?" I am confused, my brain still lacking oxygen as I followed her look on the clock.

"Almost 24 hours! Charles, go home, have a nice shower, sleep and then come back in the morning?" she said it gently but one look in her face and I know there’s no point in arguing "Sissy is at home. It’s good for her and Liam, when they’re not alone."

I got up and hugged her tight. Then I kissed Lizzie on the forehead and left.

I stood in front of her bed, it’s unmade, typical Lizzie, 3 books in it, 2 more on her nightstand and a whole stack of books next to it. I walk to her closet where some of my clothes were stored. As I picked up the clothes I turned around and left the room and went to shower. I dressed up and left the bathroom as I saw a shadow in Lizzies door, I quietly walked around the corner and looked inside her room.

Liam climbed into her bed and snuggled Lizzie’s favourite pillow. A rainbow I won at a fair a couple of years ago for her. I quietly walked in and Liam looked at me with his big, bright blue eyes that reminded me so much of her, although Lizzie’s eyes were darker, more grey, but they were equally big and they both mastered the puppy eyes.

"Hey Buddy, what are you doing?" I sat down next to him and he crawled into my lap, hiding his face in my chest, Lizzie’s rainbow still pressed tight to his body.

"Miss her." he whispered "She reads bedtime story better than Mama…" he sobbed quietly and I hugged him tight to my chest.

"I miss her too, Buddy." I answer and could feel my shirt dampen from Liams tears.

"When Mama made fruit snack a man on the screen said that Lizzie is in crit- crit-tital coniton?" he mumbled and I held my breath "What’s that? Opa said Lizzie sleeps suuuper deep!"

"Yeah, she does, she’s super exhausted from saving that little boy, so her body needs a lot of rest, that’s why she’s sleeping suuuper deep!" I answer, although I felt my throat closing up.

"Poke her to wake up!" Liam sits up and looks at me, tear smeared face, red eyes and nose.

"That’s not so easy, Liam. We need to give her time! And then we will maybe poke her and wake her up, okay?" I said and he sighed loudly.

"OK, but I sleeps here! Smells like her!" he whispered and snuggled again back into my arms. I smiled and laid down, sending Sissy a text that Liam’s with me, after a moment my phone buzzes and she texts back,wishing us a good nights rest. I saw a text from Camille, one of a dozen she already sent me since I was here, asking when I would be back in Monaco. But I ignored it, like I ignored the other ones. For now I had to stay here.

Leaving her did not feel good, although I had to go back to Maranello for some last pre season tests, I dreaded it.

"We‘ll call you as soon as something new comes up, Charles. She would be mad if you would miss the season opener because of her, you know that!" Juergen said and I just sighed.

"Yeah, I know, she would rip my head off." I answer with a faint smile and he just nodded, before he pulled me into a hug.

"Go and make her proud!" now I just nodded and left the hospital, then I drove back home to say goodbye to Marina, Liam and Sissy.

"I’ll be back here as soon as I can, ok Buddy?" I said as I hugged him tight to my body.

"Careful on track! I don’t want you to sleep deep like Lizzie!" he whispered and I swallowed hard.

"I’ll take care, Buddy! I promise!" I answered and sat him down, then I hugged Sissy and Marina goodbye and walked up to my car. I got in, backed out of the driveway and waved one last time before I headed back to Maranello, where I was until 5 days ago.

"It’s really a shame, she’s so young!" a woman’s voice.

"I googled her, she’s a racing driver and a pretty good one as well!" another woman‘s voice.

“So she’s an athlete? God no! She will hate to adjust to a life where she practically can’t do anything athletic at all…” the first one again.

“To adjust to this new life she has to wake up first… and Dr. Friese said she most likely won’t.”

“Such a young, pretty girl. It’s really a shame.”

I could open my eyes just a crack, it was a dark room, illuminated by some screens, all loud beeping. I tried to move, but my body didn’t react. I tried to say something, but again, my body didn’t react. I started to panic and everything turned dark again.

“So what are you saying?” Dad.

“It’s been now almost 14 days, her brain showed little to no brain activity.” a male voice, probably a Doctor.

Again I could open my eyes just a crack. It’s bright in the room. The frames of Mum and Dad standing at the foot of my bed, 2 men in white opposite them.

“Is there any chance that the brain activity will increase?” Mum. Broken voice.

“I want to be honest with you, Mr. and Mr. Doetterer. The chance of your daughter waking up is less than 5 %. But even if she wakes up, she’ll be bound to machines and be bedridden. In a comatose state. I know your daughter is a very active person, her body is besides the damage brought through the accident in great shape. Some nutrients are missing a little, but as she’s a vegetarian it’s no wonder, but still really, really good” the other Doctor.

“What do you suggest?” Dad again. His voice sounded almost mechanic.

“We would advise to stop the life support. And given the excellent health of your daughter, you should consider to donate her organs. I know this sounds cruel, but with every day passing the condition of her organs gets worse and…” the first Doctor.

“I think Mr. and Mrs. Doetterer understood, why don’t you go ahead and look for the next patient?” the other one said, and the first doctor left “I’ll leave you alone. If you need anything, just push the button. I’m really sorry.”

Mum sat down on the chair to my right, I could barely saw her taking my hand, but I couldn’t feel her touch.

“Hey my pretty girl.” she whispered, tears in her eyes.

I tried to open my eyes wider, move my head, wiggle my fingers, just anything to sign them that I was still there. But my body betrayed me. The little light and sight my eyes granted me began to fade.

“My little owl, Lizzie! Please! If you’re somewhere in there, just give us a sign! Anything!” Dads voice is raw and gravelly.

I drifted off into darkness, I tried to fight it, screaming, crying, nothing happened. Silence.

“I think they will pull the plug. I mean, what else can they do?”

“Nothing, that’s the sad thing. At least her organs will safe some lifes!”

“Yeah, but because of the accident, they can’t use her lungs and spleen. Really a shame.”

“Do you know how long she’s got left?”

“The doctors try to talk to the family tomorrow, after that? A day? Two?”

“Mhhh poor girl.”

“Yes, indeed.”

My eyes a crack open in silence. Bright lights in the room. Beeping of the machines.

A door opened. Mum, Dad and the older Doctor. Mum and Dad sat down to each of my sites.

“We will need some time to prepare anyways, for the organ removal. Take your time, let everyone say their goodbyes.” He left.

“Sissy and Marcus could come today, but what about Liam and Benji? I don’t want them to see her like that?” Mums voice wavered.

My two little babies. No, I don’t want their last memory of me be like this, bedridden, tube, cables and cords covering my body. They should remember me as their aunt who always played with them, ran around and always made them laugh.

“They have to say goodbye. See her one last time.” Dad sounded mechanic again.

“Okay, then Omi later as well. Tomorrow Daniel, Shima, Andrea and Julia?” Mum again.

“What about…” Dad stopped.

“He would want to come, they all would want it, but Juergen is it a good idea? He’s been through so much already! Another loss?” Mum sounded exhausted.

“He will lose her anyways. We all will. But if we don’t give him the chance to say good bye? We can’t do that Marina! Charles would never forgive us!” Dad as well.

Then it dawned on me what he just said. Charles. No. No. No. No. Not Charles.

“But his season starts this weekend! Do you really think it’s a good idea? Him seeing her like that? And then get in the car?” Mums voice was only a whisper.

NO! He can’t see me like this! It will remind him too much of Jules. He can’t see me like this! Not him! I won’t be there to get him through another loss! No! It’s not possible. And then him driving this weekend? No! Not Charles!

“I’ll call him, I’ll explain everything and then he can decide.” Dad got up.

My mind was doing somersaults. He can’t make that call. I had to do something. Anything. Come on Lizzie. I tried to scream. As loud as I could. Tried thrashing around, sending signals through my body with just my mind. And then…

“Did you see that?” Mum is shocked.

“See? Did you hear that?” Dad was next to me in an instant “Lizzie! If you can hear me just give me a sign! Anything!”

I screamed again. Started coughing. Something was in my way.

“She’s fighting the tube!” Mum pushed the call button, no she punched it and the door opened.

“Any more questions?” the younger Doctor again, his face went through multiple emotions when he saw me fighting the tube that was down my throat, my eyes blinking, body shaking “How is that even possible?”

“She’s exhausted buddy, be careful! Don’t wake her up.” Charles’ voice was soft.

“Wanna hug her! Now!” Liam.

My mind was playing cruel tricks on me. Charles voice, together with Liam, or were they here to say their final goodbyes? That’s what Mum and Dad talked about with the doctors right? And as soon as everyone said goodbye that was it. My life would end, just by pushing some buttons. Should I be calm? Or scared? What are you supposed to feel in the moments before your death? And where are the memories of my life that should be flashing before my eyes? I slowly opened them and looked around, my room was full of flowers, Mum and Dad talked to the doctors outside the room. Sissy filled up a cup with water and stood at my left. Charles sat in the chair on my right, Liam in his lap.

“Hey Bubba! Come here! I want the biggest hug you have!” I said with a raspy voice and Charles flinched.

“You’re awake!” he exclaimed and I nodded slowly.

“I am and now I want my hug!”

He carefully lifted Liam next to me, who hugged me slowly, gave me a kiss on the cheek and then snuggled next to me in bed.

“Oh ma belle, I was so scared….” Charles whispered and kissed my forehead, eyes teary.

“We all were!” Dad walked in and he looked as bad as I felt, maybe worse. Guilt in his eyes.

Charles moved aside and Dad gave me a gentle hug and kissed my cheek, Mum followed shortly after.

“Oh my pretty, pretty girl!” she whispered and a tear escaped her eyes, eyes with the same guilt in them like Dads.

The doctor stepped inside my room and stood at the foot of my bed and looked at me.

“Hello Lizzie, I’m Dr. Friese, one of your doctors here. How do you feel? Any headaches? Dizziness? Nausea?” I shook my head and he smiled, ticking something off on my record. “So, can you tell me, what is the last thing you can remember?”

You deciding to pull the plug on me.

I swallow and looked at Mum and Dad. I already knew that they felt horrible, thinking like they’ve almost killed me, they didn’t have to know that I knew about it.

“A lot of blood on a really nice and soft lawn.” I answered and the doctor smiled, then I remembered the little boy “Wait! The little boy? What happened to him?”

“Luka Maier, had a light whiplash, some bruises, a broken wrist and a broken foot. But nothing severe, only minor injuries, he left the hospital 10 days ago. Oh and this is for you!” Dr. Friese said and handed me a drawing of a girl in a racing suit and helmet, with wings and a halo, standing next to a race car. In the right corner a little message:

Dear Lizzie, thank you for being my guardian angel and saving my life! As soon as you wake up, I hope I can give you a hug! A big one! My Mama and Papa are saying that you are a real super hero!

Thank you! Luka!

I smiled at the drawing and handed it to my sister, she put it in the drawer of the bedside table, then she took my hand and kissed the back of it. I smiled at her and she only nodded, I turned back to the doctor.

“So? How fast can I get out of here? And when can I get back in my car?” I asked and was met with silence.

“Lizzie, I’m afraid I have to tell you, that you are paralysed from your waist down. When and if the paralysis will go away is at the given time impossible to determine.” Dr. Friese looked sad as he nodded to my parents and left the room.

Liam started to squirm and Sissy scooped him up, she excused herself and said she would walk around a bit with him, then she left. I coughed, my mouth dryer as any desert. Mum took the cup of water from the night stand and handed it to me, I took it and jugged the whole cup down.

“Lizzie, listen, for now this sounds bad, but, the accident is little over 3 weeks ago. There is a lot of swelling. Give it some time and rest, then we’ll see.” Dad said and Mum nodded agreeing. I nodded as well.

“Yeah! Sure! I mean, you’re right!” I said and smiled. Mum and Dad looked relieved “ Can I eat? Like normal stuff? Or not so good?”

“We will get you something! We’re so happy your appetite is back!” they shuffled out of the room and it was only Charles left.

“How was the first race?” I asked him.

“It was good.” he replied and sat down at the edge of my bed, taking my hand in his.

“What does that mean? Did you win? Podium?” I laughed.

“P2. And now tell me what’s really going on in that pretty head of yours?” he sighed and rubbed circles around my wrist.

“If the swelling will be gone and I end up being really paralysed, Charles, I can’t do that!” I whispered and Charles looked at me.

“Ma belle, listen to me. Every step of the way, I’ll help you as much as I can! We all will! You’ll never be alone in this! I promise!” he said and smiled at me encouraging.

“But if I’m paralysed, what am I supposed to do?" I whispered and he shook his head.

"We will find a way! But for now, can we just be happy that you’re alive? I was so scared of losing you!" he said and his voice broke and he took a deep breath "The way you lay here, all cold, not moving, lifeless… and- and god I had all these flashbacks to Jules. And dad."

"I’m sorry, Charles…" I whispered and he shook his head.

"Stop! Don’t you dare apologise for what this asshole did!" he hugged me carefully and sighed into my neck "God Lizzie, I’m so happy your awake! I just.. I couldn’t think of a life without you! I was so scared to never hold you in my arms again, to never talk to you again!"

"I’m here! I’m okay… well kinda." I said quietly and Charles nodded.

"Whatever’s gonna happen from now on, you’ll never be alone!" he said and I smiled.

"I know Charlie bear!"

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 7 is out - well… tough one. Writing it wasn’t the easiest, that’s for sure!

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts! I'm open to any criticism, bad or good, it doesn't matter!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos

All pictures (besides the drawing 😂) are from Google, Pinterest, Instagram, etc.

137 notes · View notes

turtlecleric · 4 months

Text

I'm in Hell

SPOILERS FOR SYMPHONY CHAPTER 22 - THIS POST IS LONG YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

I'm so Unwell. I have never had any misunderstandings like the thing with Donnie, but I have been betrayed by someone who was my best friend for years, so this chapter... it's hitting me really, really hard.

---

When Leo first met Vi, he was studying her a lot. Remember the near-physical weight his scrutiny had felt like? You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. ... like a pinned rabbit ... you see an obsidian edge beneath his smile that feels a little sharp as you lean into it.

And then later in her apartment:

[Leo talking] “…You know what really got me interested in talking to you?”

“What?” you ask, tilting your head.

“Donnie came back from talking with April and he was talking about you."

This is literally Vi and Leo's first time meeting - I don't think Leo started to really hate her until after she started coming to the Lair and he saw how Donnie reacted to her presence, but he mentions that Donnie talked about her already. It's framed within Vi's mind as him being careful with his family. He's the leader, he's careful around new people, he wants to make sure she isn't a threat, etc. But even though this is before the touch thing started, there could've been the seed of hatred already there depending on how Donnie spoke about Vi to Leo.

---

He [Leo] peers at you like he can read your life story where it’s written on your soul. ... “…You don’t have a lot of friends, do you?” he asks, his voice soft and yet cutting you all the same.

and this:

[Vi talking] “I had a lot of fun tonight. I’d… like to have more nights like this one. To. To have a family. If I can.” “You can,” he [Leo] says

He knew from the first fucking time he met her that she was lonely. That she wanted friends, wanted a family, wanted to belong. He knew that better than anyone else in the family, not only because of her saying this to him but also because of how well he reads people and how much time he spent with her. He's the only one who has seen her in her apartment, too, caught her in those few vulnerable moments in her home. I'm so fucking angry.

There are so many times in the fic that... I can't even articulate... here's some quotes early on -> "you hate how much you like this guy [Leo]" and "you smile when you see [the text notification is from] Leo" and when Vi is sick in the store she says "I miss Leo" and on and on. And that whole fucking time! He was!! UGH!!!

---

When Vi agrees to make Leo some bread so that maybe he can get some of Donnie's apology cookies he texts her "ttyl i gotta go rub this in donnie’s face" and yeah that's him being a little shit as always, but it's ALSO proof of him using EVEN THEIR PRIVATE TEXT CONVERSATIONS as ammunition rile up Donnie.

---

Hey look! Bits that hit different/hint at more going on/might be Leo's mask slipping!

“How long do we hafta wait before she ain’t a guest anymore?” Raph asks, causing you to snort a laugh.

“That’s up to Donnie,” Leo says, voice heavy with an undercurrent of meaning you’re not picking up on, causing you to look at him with a raised eyebrow. He smirks, reaching over to poke your cheek with his finger. “Y’know. He’s the one who met you first, and all that.”

…Something tells you it’s more than that, but he’s good enough at hiding it that you don’t feel comfortable calling him on it in front of the others.

...

you have no idea how you fit in [to the family], and Leo had all but told you that the space is here, ready and emblazoned with your name on it. You don’t quite see it yet, even if he apparently does.

...

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. It’s complicated,” Leo says easily, and it’s only just, but you pick out the thread of iron bars in his tone, ready to come crashing down if you push even a little too hard. So, you don’t.

“Okay,” you say easily, causing him to get that piercing look he gets sometimes, the one when he feels more like a ninja than a funny turtle man who tries to see how many cookies he can shove into his mouth at once and sends you pizza rat memes at four in the morning. “…Dude, we’ve been friends for like, a week. It’s cool that you aren’t ready to spill your guts yet, you know that, right?”

His eyes go sharp, but then he hums and smiles. You feel like you did the night you first met him, like there’s a test here and it’s in a language you don’t understand. It’s a bit uncomfortable, prompting you to grab your own drink and swallow a healthy bit of it just to have something to do.

...

[Vi talking] “…He [Donnie] seems lonely.”

Leo hums under his breath, cutting a portal that feels a little like home. “Well, lucky he has you, then.”

...

“Uh, I met her first,” Donnie says, scowling, while Leo just gives him a smug look.

...

You do, however, lean in while the others are occupied, whispering to Donnie, “So, ten dollars, which one of them tops?” and laughing when he chokes. You catch Leo’s eyes and give him a devious grin, spying him look to Donnie with a curiously blank look before shifting to a catty smile of his own when he looks back to you

...

“One portal home for a lovely lady,” Leo says as he steps through, his face going a little flat when he looks over your shoulder to Donnie behind you.

...

Leo is… astonishingly quiet for a moment, his face blank of anything for you to read as he stares at the piece hard. Then he looks up at you, and you see an unusually capable person that doesn’t feel like your best friend, even as much as it feels like the real Leonardo, here for the first time for you to see.

...

[Vi talking] “I don’t… I don’t like keeping secrets. Or lying. Not from people I care about.”

The weight of Leo’s eyes is almost physical. It makes you remember that he’s asked you to keep secrets, and your eyes snap to his, wondering if that’s the reason why he’s gone still like this. “I—I haven’t told anyone. About the ninja thing, or the Krang thing. I’d never—”

“I know,” Leo interrupts, threading his hand through your hair so he can cup your nape and press your forehead to his own. “I trust you.” You release a sigh of relief, nodding. “I’m just… thinking it might be time for us to repay that back.”

You blink, gaze darting between his eyes. “I don’t… what do you mean?”

“We’re a pretty close-knit family. There’s a lot of… baggage. A lot of history. A lot of stuff we haven’t told you. And it’s… it’s starting to feel a little disrespectful,” he says, looking a bit displeased. “You’re one of us. It’s only fair.”

---

We all know about the constant comments Leo makes about being Vi's "favorite turtle" and "best friend" in front of the others/in the group chat. He talks in Chapter 22 about purposefully draping himself across her and pulling her close, hugging her, scenting her, touching her in front of Donnie to piss Donnie off. But there's all these other little things that seemed so innocent at the time and now I'm losing my mind wondering about each of them, wondering - is that something he did with malicious intent? How many nice things were ONLY done to piss off Donnie? There are so many times that he compliments her - for example:

“What? I can’t compliment my bestie and her fine legs?” Leo coos, reaching over and flicking your nose gently.

“Leonardo,” Donnie warns, folding his arms.

And I remember, during my second read through after I finished Chapter 20, being so happy and grateful that Leo was pretty consistently giving her compliments, because she deserves to be complimented and taken care of and loved, because she deserves good friends who hype her up, and this WHOLE TIME-

(Side note - that time that Leo complains she smells like Donnie's lab, he shoves her away and she falls to the floor. First read, it's just Leo being playful. Second read, I wonder... is that a little bit of his frustration getting out of him in a physical way? He shoved her to the fucking floor, and then, once Donnie shows up, Leo pats the cushion next to him for Vi to sit by him. Then he wraps his arm around her and pulls her in close to smell her. But that's only after Donnie shows up.)

When Mikey takes Vi's So-Shell profile picture -> “Wha—?” you start, only to feel Leo leaning in to smoosh his cheek against yours, the distinct feeling of bunny ears brushing the back of your skull. Once again, this is in front of Donnie. Plus it's for her profile picture, so that means every time Donnie sees her So-Shell profile he'll see Leo in the picture, too. Leo was also famously the first like on her first So-Shell post and gets her to always leave nice comments/emojis on his thirst traps.

When she comes to the Lair to practice with her viola, Leo offers up HIS room first, and only once she declines does he -> “Ugh, fine, you are so boring,” he says, and removing his arm, he shoves at your shoulders hard and pushes you through the portal. (Pushing her onto the floor, pushing her through the portal... he's kind of rough with her in the beginning, and I figured it was just because he's haha silly funny turtle man, physical comedy, joking around whatever but... again I wonder. Is he letting himself be a little rough as a way to express his true feelings?)

God, all these little things that... might have an ulterior motive and might not.

It's around the time Vi gets bruised up by that guy at the coffee shop that Leo seems to start actually acting like a real friend, in my opinion. “…You don’t even get how incredible you are, do you?” he asks, causing you to roll your eyes. “You seriously don’t see it.”

The very next chapter he gets a glimpse of her being anxious over not being able to play, while she notices that he looks tired, invites him to listen to music and lets him sleep on her back, and in that chapter it says: you sit, quiet, letting him use you. My second read through, this line hit me hard because I KEPT noticing that she really does nothing but GIVE and I feel like she's constantly doing things to be useful to others. And now, as I'm skimming through a third time, it turns out that... yeah. Yeah. He was fucking using her. In Chapter 22, Leo says "then you reach out and touch me in a way no one has. You’ve helped me, even though I was just using you" and I'm thinking this is the moment that that really started. When she first let him sleep on her. And that's also the first time he churrs with her. After that, he gets her really nice sushi, and she thinks he's guilty for drooling all over for her, but I think maybe he was guilty because he's starting to realize how nice she is and how shitty it is that he's using her like that, even though he does continue those manipulative behaviors.

---

He sighs, his face going openly affectionate. “…You’re so…”

What he thinks you are, you don’t know, as he chooses instead to pull you into a hug. You go easily, seeking the comfort of his embrace, hoping he can feel in your arms that you truly do mean what you said.

“You know, instead of sorry, you should say—” Leo says, though as his face gets close to your throat, his mouth snaps shut and he goes still in a manner that reminds you a little of Donnie.

“…Leo?” you ask, going to pull back from the hug to look into his face only to feel his hands go tight on your back, holding you close while he dips his beak to your skin and inhales. When he does pull back, he’s got a look of shock on his face that he quickly schools into something more neutral, but barely.

This is where he smells Donnie on you for the first time, and the guilt he was starting to feel, the actual genuine affection he was developing for her, may have then been interrupted/overshadowed by his anger.

Vi was right to say she isn't gonna go back and examine every detail, because it's so fucking MUDDY! There are glimpses of true softness from him sprinkled throughout with him ALSO still hanging over her and doing shit that pisses Donnie off on purpose. And then of course the scene with Leo in the kitchen when he scares her, where we get the first big glimpse into his true anger about the whole situation, where we see him being sharp and cutting and dismissive and- I'm not going to paste in that whole scene, but he's so, so, SO angry. When she has that visceral, terrified reaction, he feels so bad (I do think he was genuinely, truly horrified that he scared her), but then he finds out that Vi and Donnie are (as far as Vi is aware) dating, followed by her telling him that Donnie misses touching his brothers, misses hugs, followed by Leo deciding to tell Vi about all the family secrets... so he's wrestling with this rage and jealousy, but he's also starting to really accept her as family (I think, since he shared the info about the Krang, about Lou Jitsu, about Casey, since he asked for her help)...

It kills me that, after that, he saw her trying so hard to help, like when she went to the library and got books on PTSD and fell asleep taking notes and she wakes up with a blanket covering her and a little blue heart on a note - he saw her doing that, on top of everything else she CONSTANTLY does for other people, for his family, and HE STILL, EVEN AFTER THAT, DOES SHIT THAT'S MANIPULATIVE. THE 4TH OF JULY PARTY, FOR EXAMPLE. “What she said,” Leo purrs, his fingers fluttering on your stomach as his eyes cut off to the side. He has a sharp look to his features that you’re a bit too drunk to dissect, so you just ignore it. He HAS to be looking at Donnie, here.

(Side note - we still don't know what Leo was doing when Vi was in the shower getting ready for the party... if anything. Maybe he really was eating cookies.)

It's at the end of the party that he smells sex on Vi, I think, for the first time. And the following chapter is when he starts avoiding Vi, and she goes to confront him and he says he's "Thinking about things. About what I want.” And THAT'S when he finally stops his bullshit. Ch 22 - "I stopped. Completely. After we talked in my room.”

---

I'm still working on fully re-reading Chapters 17+ until I make it back up to 22 and putting more thoughts into that post, but. Dear God. Sam is a genius and I'm so angry at myself. I had been so confused and angry with Donnie, when in reality he truly DID NOT KNOW about the misunderstanding between him and Vi. Meanwhile, as I'm fawning over Leo and so happy Vi has him and so grateful he's been such a good friend to her... he was the one using her, this whole time. I cannot believe it. I'm SICK with rage. I can't imagine how Vi could possibly... I can't... FUCK dude

#symphony #turtlecleric ramblings

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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 5 months

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Dead of Winter update!

Ya'll... It's finally finished. The last chapter of Dead of Winter will be posted tonight. I need to proofread and edit one more time in case I want any final changes, and then you can all look for the post later today. What a story! Bless you if you've stuck with it this whole time...

It's always a bittersweet moment ending a story I've poured so much of myself into and spent so many hours on. Sad to see it end, but looking forward to more one shots and series I have planned... <3

Catch up below: Dead of Winter Y/N discovers a stranger half-frozen in the snow in the wilderness. Who is he and why was he wandering outside in a blizzard? Era: Alexandria, pre-Negan, flashbacks to other eras Part 1 - Frozen Part 2 - Frost Part 3 - Sleep Part 4 - Dazed Part 5 - Lost Part 6 - Found Part 7 - Hurt Part 8 - Build Part 9 - Home Part 10 - Truth Part 11 - Shock Part 12 - Theory Part 13 - Pilgrimage Part 14 - Close Part 15 - Closer Part 16 - Omens Part 17 - High Part 18 - Uncertainty Part 19 - Certainty Part 20 - New Part 21 - Red Part 22 - Ashes

#dead of winter

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minisugakoobies · 2 years

Text

Jungkook Masterlist

LAST UPDATES: Paradise Chapter 15 posted 2/3/24

ONE-SHOTS/SERIES

Timezones - one-shot; fluff; hurt/comfort; established relationship; non-Idol!AU

Only thing that keeps us apart / Is a different timezone

The Hook Up - smut (18+); crack; non-Idol!AU; also starring Jung Hoseok

You’re at a house party hosted by your crush Hoseok and you’re ready to make your move… if only Jungkook would stop blocking you at every turn!

Divine Intervention - one-shot; smut (18+); hurt/comfort if you squint; Goddess!AU

“Tell me, Jungkook. Will you worship me tonight with all of you?”

Closer: A Trilogy - limited series (ongoing); smut (18+); friends to lovers; Reunion!AU; also starring Kim Namjoon

During your college reunion weekend, one unbelievably hot evening brings you and your old friends Namjoon and Jungkook together, in ways you’ve only dreamed of. Weeks later, you can’t let the memory of that night go. Can the three of you get closer?

New Year, New You - one-shot; smut (18+); angst; romance; age gap; non-Idol!AU

New year, new you. Except here you are, minutes after midnight, already falling back into old habits. You just can’t resist.

Covert Affairs - one-shot; smut (18+); angst; enemies to lovers; Spies!AU

The five times you cross paths with legendary spy Jeon Jungkook.

Joyride - one-shot; smut (18+); strangers to lovers; College!AU; also starring Kim Taehyung

Written for the Spring Break-ing the Rules collab:

Senior year spring break sucks, thanks to the annoying spoiled little rich boy who won’t stop trying to get your attention. When a scenic drive in his ridiculously expensive sports car goes wrong, you meet two sexy mechanics who decide to teach him a lesson - and show you the real meaning of “joyride.”

All Wound Up (Unbound): A Trilogy - limited series (ongoing); smut (18+); porn with the barest of plots; strangers to lovers; Rock Star!AU

As the owner of body jewelry shop Dark & Wild, you’re given the opportunity to drape the hottest rock stars around, Dead Leaves, in your custom chains. You can’t wait to get your hands all over them.

Paradise - series (ongoing - UPDATED 2/3/24); smut (18+); Stripper!AU

That sexy man on stage - the one currently giving your friend the lap dance of her LIFE - is your super shy neighbor, Jeon Jungkook?!

Mugs & Kisses - one-shot; fluff; Barista!AU

Written for the Ficscafe au pairing event:

Jungkook has something he’d like to tell you, but he can’t find the words. So he’s thought of another way.

MULTIPLE PAIRINGS:

12 Lays of Kinkmas: 12 holiday fics based on Kinkmas prompts

Walkie Talkie Men - Seokjin x Jungkook; one-shot; smut (18+); fluff; crack; established relationship; non-Idol!AU

Jungkook has an idea for a fun new game that he and his boyfriend Jin can play. Three words: walkie talkie sex.

DRABBLES

Keep It Down - smut (18+), gender neutral reader, also starring Kim Seokjin

Sorry I Motorboated You - smut (18+), gender neutral reader

Be Mine - fluff, gender neutral reader

The Prettiest Sound - smut (18+)

By the Light of the Moon - smut (18+)

Ask My Muse 1 and Ask My Muse 2: A collection of asks answered by my characters

Main Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜

#jungkook masterlist #jungkook fanfic #my writing

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modern-day-bard · 3 months

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 22

Apparently Barb had been right. Neither Dwayne nor Lloyd seemed to care that I had been seeing Javi. Not that Lloyd mentioned anything, and truthfully I wasn't even sure if he knew. I leave work that day just the same as any other day. Besides the nagging feeling that this isn't over, and my sad suspicion over why I still haven't seen or heard from Javi, everything else was normal. Only two people asked me about my fainting today, too. No weird looks this time either. I had been mostly behind the scenes today, so I didn't see Lana, but I texted her to ask if she had heard anything and she hadn't. Everyone truly was busy at work. Maybe it was my average, L.A.-free upbringing, but I expected a much larger scandal my first day back.

I take a shower first thing upon arriving home. L.A. was nothing compared to the Italian heat, but I could still use a bit of a clean. Plus, it would distract me from the fact that I still have not heard from Javi. Amidst everything, I'm still hurt by that fact. Barb and Dwayne admitted that his behavior showed some sort of interest, but I like to think I know his character better than them. Meaning, maybe he would react like that to almost anyone fainting. I decide to double-shampoo my hair to avoid diving too deeply into that thought. After I dry off, a put on some sleep shorts and a plain white t-shirt before putting on the kettle to make some tea. I'm not much of a chef, but I feel like I should really try to cook tonight in an additional effort to keep my mind off things. Especially now that I know I can still afford groceries. I've been staring at my near-bare refrigerator for about thirty seconds when my phone lights up. I nearly drop a jar of pickles when I see who it's from.

Javi: Can we talk?

My heart practically ricochets out of my chest. Will I look desperate if I reply right away? Has he been looking for a way out of...whatever this is? Or maybe he's upset that he had to have multiple conversations with Dwayne, one being with their PR manager. My kettle screams from the stove, and I jump almost high enough to land straight on my countertop. I quickly move to set it aside. I put a tea bag into a mug, taking a deep breath as I pour the steaming water in. I figure that a cup of tea's worth of time in between my response is enough. Or it's at least all I can stand. As soon as the kettle is set back on the stove, I race to reply.

I type out of a few options, but err on the side of caution.

Me: Of course. Should I call you?

Javi types for a minute or so before the bubbles disappear. I wonder if it's possible for me to hold my breath for a solid two minutes without fainting again.

Finally, 90 agonizing-seconds later, he replies.

Javi: Would it be alright if we spoke in person?

Me: I think that would be best. Do you want to meet in your trailer tomorrow?

Javi: Actually, I'm around the corner of your place. I felt like going for a drive. There's no pressure for you to let me in. But would it be okay if I came to see you now?

Forget holding my breath, I was now choking on it. But even though my nervous system hummed with anxiety, it was also mixed with anticipation. So much so that I forego the reality that Javi would be seeing my post-nervous breakdown studio apartment for the first time and respond with:

Me: Let me know when you're here.

I don't bother rushing for a hair dryer or a change of clothes. Partially because there's no way I would have the time, but also because he's already seen me like this. Granted it was under far better circumstances. I did take the chance to pick up a few pieces of laundry off the floor, though. I just set them in the basket when my doorbell rang. I buzzed him in without using the speaker, and less than a minute later there was a soft knock at my door. I took another, cleansing breath before I opened it.

It was as though sunlight itself was on my doorstep.

If sunlight came dressed in dark jeans and a black hoodie. His hair had been lightened slightly by the Italian sun, something I hadn't noticed until contrasted with L.A. after dark, and his deep brown eyes were shining. And the romantic, seeking part of me thought they shined a little brighter when I looked at him. But in the split second before either of us spoke, I recognize the worry there. Worry masked as almost deep concentration. Then his lips part, and it looks as though he is...relieved, even though he still holds worry around the corners of his eyes.

"Ava," He sounds breathless. I wait for him to say something else, but nothing comes.

"Hi," I almost whisper. "Would you like to come in?"

"Are you sure? We can always speak tomorrow, but I think production is trying to keep us separate for now. Otherwise I wouldn't be dropping by like this–"

"Javi, it's fine. Come in, please." I open the door wider, gesturing for him to walk through. He does, leaving a glorious path of his smell in his wake. I close my eyes only for a moment while his back is still turned to me, trying to soak it in as much as possible.

Javi takes in all 700-square-feet of my place, shoving his hands in his pockets. I've never seen him look so out of place.

"Take a seat," I say, not needing to point out that my lone sofa was the only option. "Do you want some tea? I just poured myself a cup."

"No, no. Thank you."

So he won't be staying long, then. I grab my mug anyway before joining him on the couch. My body yearns to sit as close to him as possible, but I use the tea as an excuse to sit on the end so I can place it on the side table.

Once I place my mug down, there is nowhere else to go. Nothing else to do except look at him with that same, borderline tortured expression on.

"Are you...okay?" I ask slowly.

That relieved expression comes back, but only for a moment. "Yes, I'm fine. Ava, I–" His voice breaks, and he rubs his hands up and down his thighs. "I was so worried about you."

My heart just about shatters. I bring my knees up to my chest, picking at an invisible strand on the couch. "I wanted to reach out to you, but when you didn't check in I thought...I don't know. I knew you'd be busy with meetings and the flight home–"

"How was the flight home?"

I look at him now, and his gaze is so sincere that I want to cry. "It was okay, actually. The flight home is usually a bit easier. Honestly I was mostly focused on the fact that I either stained your reputation or possibly lost my job. Or both. Suddenly the flight didn't seem so bad." I chuckle darkly. Javi reaches for the hand resting on my knee, hesitantly. I give it to him as if we've done this a hundred times.

"I'm glad. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Don't be sorry for that. I'm so sorry I fainted, that's only happened once before and it made a tense conversation so much worse."

"If I can't apologize for not being on the flight, you definitely can't apologize for fainting." Javi lets out a small chuckle now, and I follow suit.

"Ava," he says, stroking my hand, "I want to explain myself and what happened afterwards. But first..." His hand moves up my arm, giving it a gentle tug. "Can you come here, please?" His voice is gravel, and all I can do is nod, allowing him to pull up against his side. His free hand moves to rest on the side of my face, tucking a strand of damp hair behind my ear. Javi rests his forehead against mine before placing a featherlight kiss to my lips, almost making my knees press together. Before I can demand more, he pulls back and leaves the same light kiss on my nose, and then my forehead. He strokes my face again, as if confirming that I'm not a mirage.

"You're really alright?" He whispers.

"Yes," I breathe, "Heat exhaustion doesn't last that long."

"I'm glad, but I also mean what happened with Blake."

I sit back a little so I can assess his demeanor. "I wouldn't do that to you. I'm not saying you and I had the 'exclusive' conversation, but I'm not that type of person."

Javi looks wounded. "Ava, I mean are you okay after what happened with him? I wanted to kill him where he stood when he said those things about you."

"Oh," I really hadn't thought about the night he actually showed up to the room. "I was shaken up at the time. Nothing happened besides him grabbing my waist. Luckily Lana was in the room, and she came out of the bathroom right as he was trying...whatever he was trying to do. But I'm okay."

Javi's face was hard as stone. It was a stiff contrast between the gentle patterns his fingers were making on my knee. "Are you going to report him to HR?"

I pause, knowing that I made that decision back in Italy, but also unsure of how Javi might take it.

"No. I already talked it through with Lana that night. He's a creep for sure but...I just don't think it's what I want to do. I'm just glad he was only with us on location."

"For his sake, I'm glad as well." I'm not sure if he meant me to hear that or not.

His icy gaze falls to the floor.

"You know, Dwayne asked me today if I was going to press charges against either one of you. He said you took credit for the full affair. Nothing at work is changing, not even the promotion." I can't help the suspicion in my tone. It was too good to be true, and I knew it since I walked out of the meeting this morning. His gaze doesn't falter as he remains focused on the floor.

"Javi," I gently stroke his arm, trying to ease his tension. "What does that mean? Why would I want to press charges against you?"

He takes a deep breath, glancing into my eyes for a moment before focusing his attention to my hand resting on his arm. "At the cast dinner, the same night Blake came to your room, our PR manager, Tom, was buttering me up about Norwick's marketing plans. The company is pushing for romance rumors between Emma and me to spark interest for the film."

I feel a sharp pain in my gut at the notion, but I fear that any sign of hesitancy will keep him from speaking altogether, so I ignore it.

"Tom was encouraging me to actually get close to her. I've heard this sort of thing before. It was a simple, yet heavy, suggestion at the dinner. But after what happened on the beach with Blake and then your accident..."

My hand stills on his skin, too gripped by what he's saying to continue my previous efforts of easing the tension.

"Ava, I was so worried." His voice cracks just a smidge, "That fucking asshole was so busy trying to lie about your integrity that neither him or Dwayne noticed you were stumbling. You went pale, and you weren't responding to me. And it's my fault. We could have written this entire thing off and Blake would've been seen as a liar if it weren't for my reaction. No one moved fast enough. They weren't calling for a medic, you weren't waking up. I carried you up the beach to the top of the hill and the medic finally met us there. They took you away on one of the carts and I wanted to be with you so badly. I don't want you ever to think that I planned on letting you be alone this entire time, or not reaching out to you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you woke up alone and I'm sorry for my reaction, I just–I was so worried." Javi's brows are drawn together as tight as I've ever seen them and he's looking at me as if I hold all the answers to some invisible problem. I move my hand from his arm to cup his face, dragging my thumb down his cheek. I'm about to tell him that there is nothing to forgive him for, that I really wasn't harmed by any of it, but he continues.

"Dwayne at that point was convinced of our relationship. Thankfully Blake wasn't quick witted enough to add fuel to the fire. He didn't pretend to be concerned and he didn't insinuate that this meant you and I were together. But he didn't have to. I could see it as soon as I walked back down to the shore and saw Dwayne. I tried to act normal when I returned, especially once Barb texted me that you woke up, but it didn't matter. Dwayne said he would set up a meeting with me directly after we finished the shoot for that day. When I arrived, it was just Dwayne and Tom. I thought it was a good sign until Tom spoke. He told me what a PR nightmare this could be, me being involved with a younger woman. That the press would spin it so I would look as though I took advantage of you. It would damage both of our reputations. That's when Dwayne asked about the nature of our relationship. I said you and I got along very well and that I had feelings for you though I hadn't pushed them and I didn't know where you stood. I didn't deny that we had spent personal time together."

Javi again glances at me, as though checking if this is the part that will make me upset. I give a nod of encouragement.

He sighs before continuing. "Dwayne confessed that Blake has had complaints in the past, mostly about being too emotional to work with, but there were some blind items about him being inappropriate on set." That explains why Dwayne was quick to believe I hadn't been involved with him. "But he said that he also doesn't trust him not to leak some blown out of proportion, 'inside scoop,' about the whole thing. Frankly, Dwayne was concerned that anyone who saw my reaction to your fainting might feel that they have insider information. That's when Tom chimed in with the perfect solution," I can tell by his tone, doused in sarcasm, that it is far from perfect.

"Tom said that the PR team can find other ways to handle Blake, and as for the rest of the possible leaks...He said no one would remember a thing if they see me with Emma. Unfortunately Blake's ridiculous allegations against you fit right into production's plans to market the movie. They want to sell some whirlwind romance between Emma and me, especially since I haven't been seen with anyone publicly."

Javi lets the words hang there, allowing me to process. My stomach is in knots, and I'm still lost.

"So what does that mean for...us?" I ask quietly.

That pained expression is back. "I made them promise that they would stop any scandals against you before they happen, just in case there is a leak from anyone on set. In exchange, I agreed to let them sell the idea of Emma and me. They want us to be affectionate these next two weeks, and they're going to take some fake leaked photos of it. I was consulting with Jonah before and after my meeting with Dwayne and Tom, and he asked me not to contact you until we had reached an agreement. Once we had, it was time to fly back home and Jonah said I shouldn't speak with you until you already spoke with Dwayne. I wasn't actually sure if that was today...I just figured he'd ask to meet with you first thing and I...I couldn't wait any longer. I'm sorry."

He again allows me a moment to process it all. It hurts that Emma and him will be getting closer, even if it's just for show. But it also explains why I still have a job. True to what Barb had said, production didn't really care if we were together. However, they did care if it could reflect poorly on the project. In fairness to them, I understood it. But I was a far ways away from feeling okay about it.

Javi is just watching my face, waiting for my response. Despite the pain in my chest at the thought of him holding Emma, he was here now. His eyes full of concern, his hand still resting on my leg. Both our sides pressed up together.

Hesitantly, I cup his face once more. His eyelids flutter closed, almost as if it's out of relief. I sit up on my knees a little, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips. Javi sighs, moving the hand on my leg up a little higher, and his free hand to rest on my back, pulling me in closer.

I pull back so our foreheads are pressed together. "You don't need to be sorry, Javi."

His hand moves in soft circles on my back. "If only you knew how badly I wanted to be with you...how badly I wanted to react when Blake said those things—"

"Shh," I run my hand up his chest before resting it on the side of his neck. "I don't want to think about him. Or Emma...I'm not going to deny that part is incredibly irritating." I chuckle lightly, hoping to hide how jealous that makes me feel.

Javi pulls back a little further so he can look directly into my eyes. "I want to be with you, Ava. In every way that matters, I'm with you. I won't be with her like this," He presses another gentle kiss to my lips, "Or like this," his soft lips graze my jaw. "In fact," He kisses just below my ear, whispering now, "I'll be thinking about you the entire time, and how I'd rather be doing this instead," he moves his lips to my neck, open-mouthed and heady. I tilt my head to the side, allowing him more access. My eyes squeeze shut as he explores up and down my neck, my chest rising and falling at an increasingly rapid pace. When his teeth graze a particularly sensitive area near my collarbone, I can't take it any longer. I shift my weight and swing my leg around his torso so that I'm straddling him on the couch. Javi hums in approval, both his hands moving to my thighs. His warm fingers explore under the hem of my shorts, kneading my thighs and my backside appreciatively.

I surprise myself when I tug on the hair at the nape of his neck, angling him to look at me again and halting his barrage of kisses on my throat. I bend down to kiss him, several degrees rougher than before.

"I missed you," I whine against his lips. My hips buck forward instinctively, and I whine once again at the much-needed friction it provides.

He groans against my mouth in turn. "Missed you so much, baby," he kisses me again, teeth pulling on my bottom lip. "You had me worried sick." Javi's hands yank me forward by my thighs, grinding my core down on his lap again. I whimper, feeling how much he's grown underneath me. I feel as though my body has been taken over by pure desire, all shame left somewhere outside this apartment. I rock back and forth shamelessly, keeping Javi's lips locked on my as I hold onto the back of his neck. In the back of my mind, I know that I should do something else. Offer to go to the bed, kiss his neck back, say something he might want to hear. But I can't. I'm a panting mess. And all I can think about is wanting more of him, right now.

I move my hands from his neck to the hem of my shirt, slowing down my hip movements while I take a moment to pull it over my head.

"Christ," Javi hisses, taking in the sight of my hardened nipples. Not a second passes before he takes one of them in his mouth. His left hand moves to my free nipple, rolling and pinching it as his tongue swirls deliciously around the other. I gasp, tossing my head back and resume grinding back and forth on his now bulging lap. I want to take it out and lick him until he's as desperate as I feel right now, but the thought of stopping feels like it would leave me burning so badly that it would be painful. And judging by how his free hand is encouraging my hips, it doesn't seem like he wants me to stop.

It hasn't been long, but I feel a familiar build in my stomach.

"Javi, I'm," I hit the top of his jeans where he is delectably hard, "Ah, I'm going to...if we don't stop I'm gonna–"

Javi hums against my chest. "Get yourself off, sweetheart. The rest of your orgasms tonight will belong to me." He yanks me forward again, and I combust, my legs shaking on either side of him. My breathing stutters, and Javi keeps his steady pace against my chest, though he moves one of his hands to my thighs to coax me through. I slump against him, forcing his lips to leave my breasts. He draws soothing circles along my back as he chuckles.

"Catch your breath, baby. I'm far from done with you."

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x original characters #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro fluff #pedro pascal fluff #javi gutierrez fanfiction #javi gutierrez smut #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x reader

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kenneth-omega · 2 years

Text

The Fear of Falling in Love

// Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 //

Kenny Omega Short Fic

** UNEDITED 27/08/22 **

Pairing: Kenny Omega x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a family friend of The Young Bucks who, like Matt and Nick, also became obsessed with wrestling from a young age. During Kenny’s absence from screen you were sourced into AEW by the Bucks and brought into the Undisputed Elite faction. Following the recent fall out between Adam Cole/reDragon and the Bucks over the upcoming Trios tournament you finally get to meet the great Kenny Omega. You eventually become locked into a storyline that starts out fun and harmless but soon turns sour at the prospect of real feelings being hurt and relationships tarnished.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO A TAGLIST IN FUTURE PARTS WHEN THEY’RE POSTED PLEASE LMK

Warnings: swearing, SMUT (18+, at the end of the chapter, minors please keep ya innocent eyes away, i’m fuckin’ serious), unprotected sex (WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT PLS), p in v, light oral (f receiving), choking, spitting kink, praise kink, masturbation (F and M), degradation kink (a lil’), size kink if you squint, dom!Kenny.

Word count: 6.3K (a mega pint chapter)

A/N: we finally getting the FUCK TIME in this chapter brother, nearly a 1/3 of this chapter is smut i’m so sorry. hope you’re all enjoying the story!

Taglist: @unlikelyandrogynousghost @crowleysqueenofhell

For Reference:

“The Young Bucks” Matt and Nick Jackson are Matt and Nick Massie

Your nerves spike to an all time high when Adam’s music hits, the crowd cheering loudly as he and Britt make their way out of the left tunnel.

Taking a second to rearrange your outfit, you feel a hand gently fall against the small of your back.

“You okay, doll?” Kenny’s warm voice does nothing to still your nerves, the pet name he seems to have adopted for you only serving to make you more jittery.

“Peachy.” You exhale, trying to mentally run through the match that you and Kenny had constructed yesterday. Britt and Adam had joined you later on in the afternoon to discuss and share ideas, but were pleasantly satisfied with the story you and the Cleaner had crafted.

Kenny rolls his eyes, scoffing as he turns to face you. “Liar. You’re such an open book, it’s like I can always tell what you’re thinking.” His curls are extra bouncy tonight, jiggling at the slightest movement as he cocks his head to the side, an eyebrow raised. A comfortable silence falls between you both, seemingly unable to take your gaze away from each other.

With your nerves at a temporarily still you can’t help but draw closer to him, once again feeling that magnetic pull of his, enticing you into him. “So…what am I thinking now?” You ask softly, looking up at him through your eyelashes, unable to help the flirtatious tone in your voice.

For a second you could’ve swore that you hear Kenny’s breath catch in his throat, a devilish twinkle appearing in his eyes. As he opens his mouth to return your flirtatious teasing with some banter of his own you both jump simultaneously, Battle Cry suddenly blaring throughout the venue.

There’s a guy with a headset on stood by the steps, yelling over the music to you both.

You both ascend the stairs, your focus now solely on the match ahead of you.

Although you know that the Elite haven’t officially turned face, the two of you walk out from the opposite tunnel, to thunderous cheers. Kenny is in full character, his swagger and confident demeanour shining through.

The two of you are matching in your gear, with you having found a black, tight top with a heart-shaped cutout across the chest and long sleeves to match his compression shirt. In addition, Kenny is wearing black wrestling tights, with electric blue lightning down both legs. You have a black and blue tartan skirt to co-ordinate with him, and have tastefully added the same pop of blue into your eyeshadow tonight.

Finally you have your own leather jacket, not long like Kenny’s, but you’ve once again taken to DIY-ing it, using a silver marker to write “Alpha & Omega” on the back section, which you now turn around to show off proudly, seeing it plastered all over the large screens above you. Perfect.

With the pyro finished Kenny grabs your hand and gives you a twirl, catching you by the hip with his other hand and pulling you in close.

Convincing yourself that this is just for show and none of it matters outside of work you cup his face gently with your free hand, planting a soft kiss on his cheek, turning away from the camera so as to give you a little privacy.

It earns you both a massive reaction from the crowd.

You can’t be certain what with all the stage lights going, but his face looks as though it’s tinged red as he grins sheepishly at you. You pull away and begin to make your way down the ramp, full of the same confidence that Kenny often exudes on camera. You feel weightless, giddy and ready to get down in the ring and give these people a fight. You blow Adam a kiss from the other side of the ring as you ascend the steps, poking fun and hoping to pull further noise from the crowd. It does.

You look back to see Kenny following after you down the ramp, doing his trademark shit talking to the camera. He leans in as he points up to you and you know it won’t be picked up by the mic, but you can see his lips move as he proudly announces “that’s my fuckin’ girl”.

It stings to know that it’s all for show, but you have zero time to dwell on the fact of the matter, savouring his words instead but knowing full well that it would come back to haunt you tonight when you try to sleep. His possessive tone would forever be imprinted in your mind.

When he joins you in the ring, discarding his jacket, you take a moment to absorb the scene before you.

In your eyes this was it. You’d finally made it to somewhere you wanted to be, somewhere you felt truly happy. You were about to wrestle Adam Cole and Britt Baker, alongside someone who meant a lot to you.

With the referee between you, ensuring no altercations would take place before the bell rang, you pat Kenny on the chest, nodding for him to take the outside of the ring, putting yourself in first.

Britt, never one to back down from a challenge, kisses Adam before he exits the square, turning to face you with determination written all over her face. The crowd roars again before they start to settle, ready for the promise of a killer match.

Kenny leans over the ropes, grabbing your arm before the bell is about to ring. He looks you directly in the eye, his face serious.

“Show ‘em who we are, doll.”

With his final words, you focus on Britt, ready to orchestrate the perfect brawl.

You both start out with some bitchy slaps, getting in each other’s face and shoving each other roughly as chants begin out in the crowd. Over her shoulder you see Adam watching intently, calling words of encouragement to Britt. Without warning you punch her in the jaw, spinning her around to face her boyfriend and, with her arms locked by yours, you pull her backwards with breakneck speed into a Snapdragon Suplex.

Adam is on the ropes instantly, shouting indignantly at the referee and hurling insults. Kenny is applauding you in your corner, seemingly proud of your perfect homage to one of his signature moves. You’d practiced a lot of these yesterday together, with Kenny flinging you around the ring countless times over and over to get you used to it.

You return your attention to Britt, throwing her into the turnbuckle in your corner, before rolling forward to give yourself the distance to run full pelt into her, twisting mid jump so your elbow connects with her sternum.

Britt shoves you away from her, going for a pump kick which you narrowly avoid, causing her to stumble forward. You get cocky, channeling the same energy as Kenny, taunting Britt to come for you again. She declines, retreating back to Adam to make a tag. As he enters you walk backwards, not needing to look as you outstretch your open hand, feeling the sharp slap as Kenny tags himself in.

The crowd are alive at the reality of Adam Cole versus Kenny Omega happening in front of them. You can’t stop from feeling the same way.

The next five minutes consists of some rapid back and forth, with Kenny eventually starting to flag as Cole gains the upper hand. As he goes to give Omega the Panama Sunrise you hop the ropes, Britt diving in to stop you from interfering.

Cole hits his move, quickly shifting to make the pin afterwards. You manage to Irish Whip Britt in their direction, causing her to collide with Adam and break the pin for you before Aubrey, the referee, has chance to make the third count. You drag Kenny back to your corner as Britt and Adam regain their footing, with Britt retreating back as Adam stalks forward.

Before he can reach you, you force a tag by leaning over and slapping Kenny’s shoulder as he rests in the corner, still pretending to be dazed. You quickly climb to the top rope, executing a perfect splash onto Adam before rolling off him. Kenny is out the ring finally and you pull Cole to his feet, slamming a knee into his gut so he’s hunched over. You take a run and bounce off the ropes, sprinting and hitting him with a perfect running knee that sends him crumpling to the floor.

Britt is beckoning at Adam to make a tag, leaning as far over the ropes as she can. You roll Adam in her direction with a shove from your boot, beckoning her to make the tag.

“Let’s go bitch!” You shout over the noise of the audience, feeling all the pent up stress and anger of the past couple of days bubbling to the surface. You’d never take your frustrations out on anyone, but you decide to use that energy and put it all into this match.

As the two of you lock up you can’t help but think of everything that’s happened recently, the whispers backstage whenever you walked by, the endless stream of shit from Twitter, the constant questions from your friends. It was exhausting and annoying.

For the next few minutes you and Britt wrestle your asses off, with the DMD matching your ferocity as you battle it out. You attempt a Tope Suicida at one point, with Kenny sitting on the ropes to make the gap larger for you, decreasing the risk of getting caught and landing flat on the outside. Eventually Britt gets you in a prime position for the Lockjaw, bringing her gloved hand to your mouth.

As she pulls on the lower half of your mouth you feign almost tapping out, the crowd deafening as cheers and chants of encouragement mix in with boos angled towards the heels. Instead you clamp your head down, biting on her fingers hard, which causes her to release her grip on you, cradling her hand and nursing the sore digits.

You crawl to Kenny and reach out, making a quick tag to let him finish off the match with Adam.

The two men collide in the ring. With his stamina regained, Kenny wastes no time in finishing up the match, providing his own Snapdragon to Cole with perfect execution before he pulls out the V-Trigger. With one last push, Adam is up on Kenny’s shoulders and down for the One-Winged Angel. You run into the ring and spear Britt as she goes for the save, the referee slamming his hand down for the three count and calling for the bell.

The audience erupts when the bell sounds the end of the match. You discreetly check Britt is okay with a gentle hand squeeze before leaving her, letting her crawl to Adam and mourn their loss.

You’d just beaten the fucking IT couple of AEW!

Kenny is sat in the ring, taking a moment, his back leant up against the ropes. You can see he needs a second by the look the two of you share as you near him, so you get down to his level, pulling him in for a hug as you rest on your knees in front of him, nuzzled between his legs. The public display acts as a short delay, allowing Kenny to recover some more. You can feel his slightly laboured breathing underneath your hands as they lay flat against his back. Kenny’s warm and inviting arms wrap you up, pulling you in closer as he rests his chin in the crook of your neck, his beard tickling the exposed skin.

“Well done...and thank you.” You mumble into his shoulder, wanting to keep your face hidden away from those pesky cameras.

Kenny’s fingers snake up into your hair, gripping onto the locks gently. “I think I should be thanking you, for agreeing to this crazy story and for putting up with my crazy antics.” He praises you in your ear, the words like beautiful music that resonates deep in your heart.

With that he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours for second, his eyes closed as you both sit and absorb the moment together.

Then he’s back to being TV Kenny, the one that brings the swagger and the cocky attitude as he gets up to his feet to much awaited cheers, pulling you up with him.

You both allow Aubrey to raise your arms up in the air, Kenny wincing slightly at the movement.

With the final goodbyes to the crowd you head backstage, going straight to the shared locker room where the Bucks and Brandon await your return.

Matt hugs you first, complaining in a typical older brother-esque style about how you’re sweaty and need to get a shower. You roll your eyes and shove him off you playfully, choosing to ignore the fact that he’s probably right. This is the type of bullying you’re used to from them, having grown up down the road from the Massie family back in California, where you first got in a wrestling ring that they’d built with their father together.

Nick ruffles your hair fondly, always having been the softer of the two. The youngest brother never stopped following you around when you used to go to their house to play together with them and their other siblings. Their older sister liked to tease and say Nick fancied you when you were back in middle school, although he never admitted it. You never believed it anyway.

“What’s the plan then guys? I say we go out, maybe find an arcade, grab some decent grub then call it a night before we head out for Ohio tomorrow!” Matt rambles, pulling out his phone to no doubt begin searching for the nearest arcade centre.

You don’t feel like you’re in any position to go out, instead craving the shower and bed back in your hotel room. Kenny looks over at you expectantly, as though waiting to see whether you were going to agree.

“I’m gonna call it a night I think guys, but seriously go out and have fun. Especially you, you deserve it.” You point at Kenny, before picking up your bag and coat, ready to call yourself an Uber back. You wouldn’t be staying till the end of the show like normal, feeling far too exhausted to stick around for another hour or so.

You exit the locker room, leaving the rest of the Elite to go party and enjoy their evening. As you saunter down the corridor, the cheers of the crowd echoing through from behind you, your phone pings with the notification alerting that your ride is here.

Picking up the pace you get outside, knowing there won’t be many people loitering as everyone is still inside for the show. Your lift pulls up in front of you, popping their boot open to allow you to dump your stuff in the back. As you circle back round the car to get in the back you hear your name being called, turning to look back at the venue front doors.

Kenny comes jogging out, his bag looped over his shoulder and a hoodie on, still in his wrestling gear like you.

“Kenny?” You laugh, unsure why he’s even out here. “What are you-”

“I bailed on the guys. I don’t fancy going out tonight either, so I wondered if maybe you wanted to uh, watch some movies...with me?” He’s slightly out of breath after having sped through the arena to catch up to you. You nibble on your bottom lip as you ponder over his offer. It was dangerous to let yourself spend more time with him alone.

Already you were struggling to keep up the mirage of a “fake couple” without it bleeding into your actual life and emotions. This wasn’t just kayfabe to you...it felt real, and it hurt just the same when you thought about it ending.

With a sigh, you nod, giving him a weak smile in response, already knowing you’re beyond help. You don’t want to fight it anymore, so you accept that there’s nothing you can do about how you feel about the man before you. With that, you may as well enjoy the time with him that you have before it somehow ends up in flames.

---------

Once at the hotel you grab an elevator together, Kenny selecting the floor. It’s on the same as yours handily enough, meaning you can grab a shower and change.

As you exit into the corridor you stop by your room, going to unlock the door, Kenny following after you.

You turn around in the doorway and halt him in his tracks with a hand on his chest.

“What’re you doing?” You laugh, seeing his confused face.

He frowns. “What are you doing?”

You roll your eyes. “I’m getting a shower, something which doesn’t require you to be in here. I’ll stop by your room when I’m done.”

There’s a dark glimmer in his eye at the mention of a shower and he smirks, seeming to have humoured himself with something.

He walks backwards, out of the doorway to your room, and as he turns to leave he looks back at you, his eyes giving you a once over.

“Text me if you change your mind.” He hums, leaving you stood contemplating whether it’s worth chasing after him and pulling him into your room. Grinning like a schoolgirl that just had their crush say ‘hi’ to them, you reign your desires in and instead shut the door.

As you stand beneath the hot spray, washing the ring grime off, you wonder if all this flirting is simply just a way for Kenny to keep you invested in the story, leading you on like some love-struck puppy. Those horrible thoughts slowly start to creep in, telling you that none of this is real, it’s just fake. That Kenny wouldn’t ever really want to be with you. All this, it’s a lie. You’re just living out a fantasy of yours but soon it’ll come to an end.

Feeling sour at the thought you leave the shower, shivering in the bathroom as you stand there naked, your arms wrapped around yourself.

What were you doing here really?

Playing Mr and Mrs for the camera until Kenny or Tony decide to ditch the act for something bigger, like Kenny’s next title run? Inevitably leaving you heartbroken and pushed aside.

You grab a towel and leave the bathroom to dry off, contemplating just getting into bed and letting the covers swallow you into a deep sleep.

With no energy to try and make yourself look decent, you throw on an oversized tee that swamps you, the hem falling past your pyjama shorts to your mid thigh.

When you exit your room, taking care to peek out and check the corridor first for any pesky Bucks or others, you scoot across to Kenny’s door, knocking lightly.

He opens the door to you, curls still wet from his shower as little droplets fall from the strands and drip onto his taped up body. He’s yet to put on a shirt, only in some basketball style shorts, so you get your first full view of him post-recovery.

He still appears as though carved by gods, but you notice a softer edge to his curves, the only seeming telltale that he’s been off for a while aside from all the tape wrapping him up. A few droplets run down his chest, trickling slowly across his lightly tanned skin. You clench your legs together, thighs rubbing slightly for some much wanted friction as you drink in his appearance.

“Want to come in?” He offers, stepping aside and opening the door wider to let you go past. You note how tidy the room is, thinking back to your own room that is a current stay of disarray. The bed is neatly made, with some DVDs spread out at the end for you to peruse.

“Take your pick, I won’t be a minute, should probably finish getting dressed.” He smiles sheepishly, catching his reflection in the mirror he passed by, which sends your heart pounding.

“Honestly don’t feel like you have to cover up in front of me, you should feel as comfortable as possible.” You assure him. Picking up one of the cases, you pop the disc into the TV’s box.

Kenny sidles up behind you, peering over your shoulder to see what you decided on, his fingers grazing over your hip as he leans in against your back. It takes all your inner discipline to not roll your hips back automatically, resisting the want to grind up against him and still the ache between your legs.

“Good choice.” Is all he says, not furthering in his advancement on you, despite his dancing fingers. You nibble your lip in frustration, needing distance from his touch in order to recalibrate and reign in your wants and desires.

“I’ll be back, we’re missing something important.” He informs you, heading for the door, the weighing pressure on your chest finally lifting, allowing you to release the breath you hadn’t even realised you were holding.

“W-what?” You stutter slightly, brain still slightly foggy from the cloud of lust enveloping it.

“Snacks!” Kenny beams, his face a picture of genuine excitement, that soft side to him you’d only seen a couple of times shining through.

With that he leaves the room, still shirtless mind you, closing the door so that you’re left standing alone in his room. Looking around, unsure what to do with yourself, you pull out your phone and text Ethan quick.

C: You around tomorrow? x

Ethan doesn’t take long to reply, obviously bored and messing around on his phone.

E: Off 2 film a new toy vlog once we reach Ohio, want 2 join? Hayter, Mark and Danhausen coming 2morrow x

You want to speak to Ethan alone and although a toy store isn’t the place you had in mind you figure that this is likely the only way to get a moment to speak to your friend. The next two weeks leading up to All Out were due to be hectic.

You type back a response quickly before Kenny returns.

C: See you tomorrow, need to talk about something URGENT x

E: Anything I should b worried about? x

Bless his sweet nature, you thought, unable to not smile at your friend’s genuine concern for you.

C: Just need a friend to talk to x

The front door opens and you look up to see Kenny has returned with his spoils. Share bags of various sweet things and some little bags of popcorn, plus a few cans of Coke and Sprite.

You go over to help him, his hands full as he struggles to open the door fully.

“Where did you go?” You laugh, taking a few of the things from his arms and locking the door behind you both as he dumps it all on the bed.

With a wolfish grin he kicks his shoes off. “Raided the vending machine!” He tells you before hopping onto the bed and patting the space next to him. “We need a lot of snacks if we’re gonna watch them all.” He gestures with the TV remote to the short stack of DVDs you’d put to the side.

“Wait we’re watching them all?!” You backtrack on his words, wanting to make sure you heard him right. His hand still rests on the bed where he beckoned you to sit.

“Well this is a movie night. I figured we watch till we’re tired.”

You contemplate for a moment whether or not you’re really going to be able to focus on these films for the rest of the night whilst sat next to him, as your mind seems to have it’s own agenda at the moment.

Fuck it.

You jump onto the bed beside him, propping the pillows up so you can rest back on them.

Kenny switches the room lights off and the two of you settle in for the first movie.

Not long into it Kenny stretches himself out, one arm coming up to rest behind his head as the other rests on the waistband of his shorts, his thumb hooked underneath. You attempt to ignore it, knowing he’s just getting comfortable, but can’t stop yourself from taking a moment to imagine what lies in those shorts.

Your core throbs at the thought and you have to resist the urge to slip your hands into your shorts just to get some satisfaction and curb the craving want in your stomach.

“Something wrong?” Kenny asks you earnestly, noticing the way you’ve stopped watching the film and seem to be staring off into space, your mind elsewhere.

Shaking your head you excuse yourself to the bathroom, needing a moment to calm yourself down. Kenny nods understandingly but his curiosity is definitely peaked as he watches you leave. Once inside the bathroom, the cool tiles underneath your feet, you turn on the tap to the coldest setting and stand there for a moment as it runs.

You don’t think you’re going to last around him. All this pent up sexual frustration is starting to seriously have an impact on you, to the point where you can’t even sit next to the guy without wondering what his cock looks like.

Worst of all, he seems oblivious to it, in typical male fashion.

You cup your hands under the cold stream and splash your face with water, relishing the startling wake up call it provides you. A few drops run down your front, dampening your t-shirt and the cold sensation makes your nipples pebble beneath the fabric. It’s fine though, because your head feels much clearer for it and you can think straight again once more. A couple more handfuls for good measure and you then dry off your face with the hand towel.

As you open the bathroom door and go to leave you’re nearly frightened to death when you find Kenny leaning against the wall next to you, arms folded across his broad chest.

“Jesus, Kenny! You just scared the fuck out of me.” You gasp, resting a hand on your chest, heart pounding beneath your palm. Kenny’s eyes wander down to your chest, seemingly distracted for a moment. He clears his throat after a few seconds.

“Everything okay?” He asks you sincerely, his hand subtly shifting down to his shorts, gently resting over his crotch as though he were hiding something. The TV in the background continues to run, with neither of you having even bothered to pause it. You bite your lower lip as you nod.

Kenny brings a hand up to your chin, tilting your head upwards and exposing your neck as he leans in. His nose grazes your jaw as his lips lightly dance across the sensitive skin of your neck.

“You’re such a terrible fucking liar.” He whispers softy, before his teeth nip sharply at your throat.

Fuck.

“K-Kenny-“ You stutter quietly, unsure how to respond to his actions. It’s not like you weren’t enjoying it.

“I hope you know just how hard this has been for me.” He murmurs across your skin. You look down as far as your eyes allow you from your current position, just about able to see his spare hand palming himself through his shorts. A significant outline of his cock is visible through the fabric and you swallow heavily. He’s certainly not small.

“For you?” You echo, thinking about how wound up Kenny has made you these past few days. Your legs squeeze together as you slowly grind your thighs. Kenny removes his hand from your chin and slaps your legs, forcing them apart.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” He growls, his hand moving up to cup your pussy, the tips of his fingers grazing over your clothed hole. “You’re such a tease.” He groans, the heel of his hand pressing into your clit, earning a breathy gasp from you.

“Then why don’t you put me in my place and just fuck me already?” You ask him boldly. Kenny’s head pops up so that his eyes are level with yours. His pupils are blown with lust and there’s none of that usual sparkle to them, instead having been replaced by a dark glimmer that promises pleasurable hell.

“Since you asked so nicely, doll.” He grins, both his hands reaching for your ass to pull you up off your feet and into his arms. With your legs wrapped around his waist your pussy is pressed flush against his rock hard cock, which nudges your clit with every bounce as he moves you towards the bed.

He throws the covers aside, the snacks and drinks going flying onto the floor as he clears the space to put you down.

You loosen your grip on him as he pulls away from you, his hands gripping your knees and spreading your legs apart.

“Get these off.” He demands, glaring at the shorts which still cloth your throbbing core.

You oblige willingly, wiggling yourself out and pushing them down your legs, kicking them off the rest of the way with your feet. The cold air of the bedroom hits your heat and makes you shiver, your nipples hard as they press through your t-shirt.

Kenny opens your legs once more, drinking in the sight of your glistening cunt as you lay bare for him. You notice a patch of precum that’s soaked through his shorts, an instant tell of how aroused he is.

“Now your turn.” You tell him, eager to see that delicious cock free from its restraints. He chuckles darkly, something which you don’t like the sound of.

“Patience. You’ll get my cock soon enough. But right now I want to have some fun. Let’s see how long we can hold off making you cum, hm?” He suggests, slipping further down the bed so his face lies level with your wet folds.

“Kenny, please I-ahh!” Your head falls back mid sentence as the warm and pleasant sensation of Kenny’s tongue swirling your clit hits you suddenly. Your hand reaches down to grab a bunch of his curls, tugging in retaliation. The sharp pain causes him to lift his head, glaring at you.

He crawls back up to you and presses his soft lips to yours, stilling your stubbornness for a moment. As you both deepen the kiss, Kenny’s hand slips down your stomach and presses between your folds, two fingers slipping inside of you without warning. You let out a gasp, your mouth open against his.

“That’s what you get for acting like a brat. Do it again and I won’t leave you able to walk.” He snarls, spitting in your mouth before he forces your mouth shut. “Swallow.” He commands you.

You do so willingly for him.

This seems to impress him as he smiles down at you. “Good girl.”

The praise from him alone is enough to send you light-headed.

“Fuck yourself for me, pretty girl. I wanna see how you touch yourself on those nights when all you desperately wanted was my cock filling up this beautiful cunt of yours.” He sits back on his heels, waiting and watching as you obediently follow orders.

You’re too hot in your shirt so you throw it off without further consideration, needing the cool air to bring you down off this sex-drunk high.

Without hesitation you reach a hand down between your thighs and begin to play with yourself, teasing your hole as your spare hand toys with your now free breasts. Kenny watched avidly as you fuck your fingers in and out slowly, your eyes half closed in lust-filled bliss.

“Kenny…” You moan softly. As you continue to pleasure yourself you watch as he dips a hand into his shorts, pulling his cock free. The sight nearly makes your throat run dry. How the fuck was he going to fit that in your tight hole?

Slowly he pumps his shaft as he watches you, running a thumb over the tip to collect the precum that had beaded out, using it to coat his cock.

“God, I could just cum watching you get yourself off over me, you needy slut.” He groans, his free hand coming to grip a hold of your knee.

You nod in agreement, already feeling your high start to build.

Kenny narrows his eyes at you as he watches your face change to become more concentrated.

“If you cum I won’t fuck you. So don’t even think about it.” He growls at you, fucking his fist with more vigour as his aggressive behaviour only riles him up further. You whine needily, hating the idea of losing your current momentum. “The only time you’re cumming tonight is around my cock, when I tell you to.”

Swallowing hard, you turn your concentration to holding off the impending orgasm in the pit of your stomach.

A couple more minutes go by as Kenny groans, complimenting you in every way imaginable. Your pussy, your pretty fingers as they disappear in your hole, the way your tits bounce slightly with each thrust.

“Enough.” He finally tells you, letting you remove your slick fingers from your swollen and throbbing cunt. “I need that tight hole around me.” He grunts, pulling his shorts off fully and fixing himself between your already shaky legs. He lifts one of them over his shoulder, sizing up his large cock to align with your pussy.

Without further warning, he presses his head in, slowly moving inch by inch to fill you up with his throbbing shaft. The stretch stings but isn’t unpleasant as he finally, eventually, bottoms out inside you.

“Fuck.” You both moan at the same time, eyes locking as you cast each other slightly fucked out smiles. Kenny takes a second before he moves, savouring the tight, warm feeling.

Once the tender moment has passed he’s back to himself, the cocky, dominating character that you’re all too familiar with. With a snap of his hips he pulls out nearly the whole way before slamming back into you, a sharp slap of skin against skin echoing in the room. The TV continues to run the film, providing some background noise.

He repeats the action again, relishing how your pussy milks him, taking every inch. He starts up a harsh rhythm, ramming himself into you at a furious pace. Unrelentless and unforgiving, he furthers the motion by leaning into you, the angle shifting so that he can hit deeper. His face hovers above yours, curls bouncing with each movement, as he watches you. With each rotation of his hips you have to fight to stop your eyes rolling back into your head.

“You’re close aren’t you?” He asks after a short while, feeling you start to clench tighter around his cock. “Hold off, princess. I promise you’ll cum, but only when I say so. Can you do that for me?”

You nod weakly, but he raises an eyebrow at you.

“I need words doll, tell me you can hold on like a good girl. Let me savour your wet, hot cunt just a little longer.” He slightly groans at the end, a signal to you that he’s close to his own orgasm.

“Yes.” You agree.

“Yes what?” He growls, his pace picking up. He grips your throat with one hand in warning. Each thrust nudges your clit, sending fire through your stomach.

“Y-Yes…sir.” You gasp, feeling his grip slowly tighten, playing with your oxygen flow, the light headed sensation making you fuck-drunk.

Kenny pumps into you some more at the same unforgiving pace, his stamina clearly not affected despite you both going at it consistently for a while now. It’s only when his tight, controlled thrusts become sloppy that you realise how close he is.

“Fuck-“ He hisses, the hand currently gripping your thigh moving to rest above your clit, his thumb pushing down on the sensitive bud and rolling tight circles over it.

“Kenny, I can’t-“ You choke out, feeling the familiar hot burn in your stomach as he continues his pace.

“Let go princess, cum for me and get your sweet juices all over my cock. Be good for me and show me how much you wanted this.” He encourages, slipping in and out of you with such ease now. You had adjusted so well to his swollen, thick length that he couldn’t help but praise your resilience.

You stop trying to fight off your orgasm, instead meeting each of his thrusts with your hips, the movement putting additional pressure on your clit.

“I-I’m gonna…” You groan, unable to finish your words as Kenny pushes you into your orgasm, continuing to fuck you through the intense waves of pleasure as your hands reach for something to anchor to, finding his back and digging into the hard muscle. The feeling brings a hiss of pleasure and pain from him, edging him over as he too rides out his orgasm, a low moan coming from the back of his throat as he thrusts a few more times into you for good measure. His cock throbbing as he thrusts his thick ropes of cum into you.

Kenny flops forward, his arms supporting him so as not to fall directly onto you. His eyes remain closed for a few seconds as he regains his composure, before opening them and meeting you with a tired, fucked-out smile.

Unable to say much at the moment, trying to reserve your remaining energy, you return the smile.

He leans in slowly, careful not to move too quick, and presses a soft, tender kiss to your swollen lips that you’ve bitten red raw.

“So much for professionalism, huh?” He jokes, relieving you both of the post-fuck tension that had followed.

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 4 months

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Christmas Reruns 2023 Day 21: Deck the Halls...or Maybe the Neighbor

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t! One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia. A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns. So here you go! Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Rating: G

Word Count: 2253

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Notes: This story was written for my “Christmas with Captain Swan” collection in 2020.

CS Genre: Enemies to Lovers AU

She was going to kill him. She was going to drive a stake of holly through his heart or strangle him with a strand of Christmas lights or…well, some other holiday themed method of homicide.

Emma worked hard all day chasing down the scum of the earth and hauling their worthless asses back to jail where they belonged. Was it really too much to ask that she have a little peace and quiet downtime to relax once she got home.

According to the idiot who lived in the apartment directly above hers, apparently so. Every damn day since Thanksgiving he’d blared his Christmas music loud enough to wake the ghost of Christmas past. Sometimes he even enthusiastically belted along with it. (She had to admit his voice wasn’t half bad, but that was entirely beside the point.)

Emma hissed as she dabbed at the cut beside her eye where tonight’s skip had clocked her. She’d got him in the end; Emma Swan always got her man, but now that the adrenaline of the chase was over, her cuts and bruises and sore muscles were screaming at her.

And the guy in the apartment above had just started singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” at the top of his lungs.

Emma growled, tossing the bloody cotton ball into her bathroom trash and getting to her feet. Enough was enough. This stopped now. He could take his merry little Christmas and shove it up his south pole.

Two minutes later, she stood before his apartment. Pounding on the door felt extremely satisfying if she did say so herself.

The music suddenly stopped, and a moment later the door opened, and for the first time Emma got a glimpse of the man who’d been the bane of her existence for the past two weeks.

Her jaw dropped. He was drop dead gorgeous, melt-an-entire-population-of-snowmen hot.

“Well hello, there, Love,” he said with an appreciative grin-and in an accent that had her toes curling in her boots. “How can I help you?”

Emma’s stomach swooped and her heart stuttered and then started racing. She blinked and the spell was broken. She wasn’t some teenager who drooled over hot guys. Especially hot guys that she’d been seriously contemplating murdering five minutes ago.

“If you don’t stop with the Christmas crap, I’m going to punch your stupid, festive face,” she gritted out.

His eyebrows raised. “Pardon?”

“Your music!” she said. “Every freaking day, everytime I get home you’re blaring the Christmas music, and it got old about five minutes after you started. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that I have a little peace and quiet in my own home.”

He huffed a breath. “Darling, I had no idea anyone was even in the building in the middle of the afternoon. Did it ever occur to you to come to me and ask me to turn down my music?”

She had to admit he had a point there. Maybe yelling at him and threatening bodily harm wasn’t the best opening salvo, but it had been a long day, and she was in pain, and she wasn’t in the mood to be reasonable.

“Look, just turn it down,” she said, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

“Your wish is my command,” he said with biting sarcasm, sketching a mock bow. “Now is there anything else you wish to yell at me about or may I get back to my tasks at hand?”

“Nope. That’s all,” she said.

“Good,” he said and then tacked on a biting “merry Christmas” before shutting the door in her face.

The next morning, Emma was rather embarrassed about her interaction with Hot Christmas Guy upstairs, as she’d been calling him in her mind. She’d had a frustrating day–the skip she’d gone after had left his wife and kids just before Christmas, taking every penny of their Christmas fund.

It hit too close to home for a girl who had grown up with no family, with no one. Hard to get into the warm and fuzzy Christmas spirit when no one gave a crap about you.

She’d been too harsh with Hot Christmas Guy, but at least the results were in her favor. He’d been as good as his word, and if he’d continued playing his Christmas music, he’d done it at a low enough volume that she didn’t even hear it.

Emma had only just begun to think she should go upstairs and apologize, when suddenly there was a knock at her door.

She opened the door to find the man himself, standing there holding a large plate of cookies. Her stomach not only swooped this time; it did cartwheels. The guy looked even better in the bright light of morning with his slightly disheveled black hair, his reddish scruff, his blue button down that highlighted his even bluer eyes and his black leather jacket.

“I’m afraid we came to rather a bad start, yesterday,” he said. “Perhaps we might start again, Aye? My name is Killian Jones, and I’d like to offer you these Christmas cookies as a token of my apology for the excessive volume of my music.”

Emma took a step back and gestured for him to enter her apartment. “Hey, I’m Emma Swan, and no apology is necessary. In fact, I kind of think I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have just come out swinging like that.”

He smiled at her, the fine lines around his (beautiful) eyes crinkling with the gesture. “Apology accepted Love. I’ll leave you to your morning.”

He turned to leave, but suddenly, Emma didn’t want him to go. “Killian wait!” she said.

Obediently he stopped, eyebrows raised in question.

“Would you like to stay and help me eat these cookies?”

He shot her a skeptical look. “Dessert at nine in the morning?”

She shrugged. “Can’t be much more unhealthy than my normal blueberry PopTart.”

Killian laughed then, taking a step back inside. “Do you at least have milk to wash them down with?”

“Of course.”

Killian ended up staying for two hours, and it amazed Emma how quickly they fell into conversation. It was like they were old friends catching up rather than relative strangers. Emma learned that Killian was a novelist. His music helped him with the creative process, jump started his creativity as it were.

The conversation had then turned to the upcoming holiday.

“Swan, do you not celebrate Christmas?” he’d asked, looking around her apartment.

She shrugged. “I mean, I guess I do. I’m not like opposed to Christmas or anything. Why?”

“I can’t help but notice you have no tree, no decorations of any kind, and your opposition to the music of the season is well established,” he said.

Emma looked around her neat but rather sterile apartment and shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t see the point of going to all that trouble. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to have any presents under the tree or anyone to share the holiday with.”

She had expected him to look at her with pity at her admission of just how alone she was, but instead, the look on his face was knowing, understanding. “The holidays are difficult when you’re alone, aren’t they?”

That surprised her. Was he speaking from personal experience?

“Aye love,” he said, answering her unasked question, “I suspect we have more in common than you might have supposed. Ever since my brother passed a decade ago, I’ve been on my own. The holidays always bring with them a special kind of melancholy.”

“But…” she began, “but you play Christmas music. From the glimpse I got of your apartment yesterday, you have all the decorations and trappings. Doesn’t that make the loneliness worse?”

He shook his head. “It helps me to remember the good memories, and there are always good memories if you dig deep enough.”

The conversation stuck with her long after she and Killian had said goodbye and gone their separate ways. Maybe…maybe he was right. Maybe if she let a little Christmas cheer into her life, it would help, even in a small part, to soothe the pain of a lifetime of loneliness.

The next morning, bright and early, there was a knock on Emma’s door. This time she smiled as she went to the door, knowing instinctively that she’d find Killian on the other side.

What she wasn’t expecting was the large, beautiful, fragrant pine tree he was holding in front of him.

“What’s this?” she asked, opening the door wider so that he could awkwardly maneuver himself and the tree inside.

“This, Swan,” he said with a teasing grin, “is called a Christmas tree. Traditionally people set them up in their houses this time of year and decorate them with lights and colorful baubles.”

She grinned, rolling her eyes at him and playfully swatting his shoulder. “I know what it is, smart ass. I’m wondering why you brought it here.”

He propped the tree against the door, and then reached up to scratch at the spot behind his ear. “I got to thinking after our conversation yesterday. I wanted to bring you some of the Christmas joy that has helped me through the season for years. I hope I’ve not overstepped by bringing this.”

Emma smiled gently, stepping up to place a hand on his arm. “This is really sweet, Killian,” she said. “Thanks.”

“It was my pleasure,” he said, stepping outside to gather the boxes of lights, ornaments and tinsel he had waiting for him. “If you’ve the time and inclination, I thought perhaps we could decorate your apartment together.”

She took one of the boxes from him and set it on her living room floor. “As it turns out, I have the day off, and decorating a tree sounds like the perfect way to pass the time. If you play your cards right, I might even let you play some Christmas music while we work.”

They’d spent the entire day together, first decorating her tree, then splitting a pizza from the place down the street, talking, laughing, and genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

The next day he was back, and the day after that she went to his apartment. Barely a day went by that they didn’t see each other. Each day brought a new holiday themed activity.

For the first time she could remember, Emma felt the magic of Christmas. For the first time she woke up looking forward to what the day might bring–and it was all due to Killian Jones. It should scare her how comfortable she felt with him. It should scare her how much she was coming to look forward to their time together, to their daily phone calls and text conversations.

But somehow it didn’t. She could read people; it’s what made her so good at her job. And Killian? She read him loud and clear. He was the real deal. She could trust him.

And so it was that when the idea occurred to her she didn’t let herself think too hard, merely acted.

“So I was thinking,” she said, turning toward him on the couch where they sat together watching Christmas movies on Christmas eve.

“Dangerous prospect, love,” he said with a teasing grin. She smacked his shoulder.

“I think that we should spend Christmas together,” she said.

This shouldn’t be that big of a deal–after all, they’d spent the last two weeks together–but somehow it was. Somehow spending Christmas together felt huge. Like this-could-be-the-start-of-something-life-changing huge.

Killian’s eyes widened. He clearly understood how momentous this question really was. After a moment, his look of surprise softened into a gentle smile, and he reached up and cupped her cheek. “Emma, I’d like nothing better than to spend Christmas with you.”

The relief, the joy that came over her at his answer overwhelmed her, and so she did the only thing that seemed to make sense in the moment. She leaned forward and kissed him.

On Christmas, they made plans to spend New Years together, and on New Years, they made plans for Valentine’s Day.

And on the following Christmas, Killian got down on one knee and asked her to make plans with him for the rest of their lives.

It seemed only fitting that for their wedding several months later, they play Christmas music. After all, without the sounds of the season, the beautiful, perfect life they’d built for themselves may never have begun.

NEXT CHAPTER->

#christmas reruns 2023 #cs fanfiction #captain swan christmas ff #my fanfiction #deck the halls...or maybe the neighbor

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reddie-ao3feed · 3 days

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Safe is You

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2H3DGQb by fuhcoff “Can you maybe tough it out tonight, Ed’s? I’m not sure this is a good time…” Richie quickly said in a surge of panic. Sounding like he just got caught in bed with a girl or something. Ha, wouldn’t that be priceless. Even though he doesn’t mind the feeling of being squished close to the wall of his bed, with Eddie making himself right at home in his bedsheets. Huddling in his blankets with the regular pinch of his nose Richie is used to seeing. Eddie always has some sort of silly facial expression of discomfort or disgust whenever he’s with Richie. Making it much too easy for Richie to make a jab at it. “I don’t feel safe in my room, Rich.” He muttered. The almost sad tone of his voice not matching his facial expression at all. “I had the dream again, just a little different this time.” This caught him off guard and Richie frowned, wondering if this is a good time to crack a joke about Eddie’s mom or not. Probably not. “Why do you feel safer in my room more than your own?” ___ This takes place a few years after they defeated Pennywise, when they’re 16, and it skips through the years up until they’re about 22. And eventually until they’re older later in life. Words: 64, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (2017) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough, Stanley Uris, Ben Hanscom, Mike Hanlon, Pennywise (IT) Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier Additional Tags: Derry (Stephen King), Period-Typical Homophobia, Pining, Mutual Pining, Time Skips, First Time, Gay, Gay Panic, Gay Richie Tozier, Confused Eddie Kaspbrak, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Domestic Bliss, Night Terrors, Trauma, Sexual Content, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier Through the Years read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2H3DGQb

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it 2017 #it 2019 #fic rec #reddie fic red #stephen king it

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mylifeisalieandididntknow · 3 months

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Atla Au Outlines

someone reported me on ao3 awhile back and my fic was hidden by ao3 for investiagtion on the matter of being in violation of the terms and agreements. Later it was deleted because of that.

But i started posting on tumblr and got lazy so Here is the list of chapters I had written with the chapters that are colored text having been posted to tumblr.

Chapter 1: Zuko And His Turtleducks Take On The World (Posted on ao3 as its own fic)

Chapter 2: Fire Lord Zuko & Fire Lady Azula

Chapter 3: The Blue Spirit And The Avatar Have A Heart To Heart

Chapter 4: Six Times Fire Lord Zuko Shrugged Off Assassination and One Time Someone Finally Told Iroh

Chapter 5: Road Trip Au Atla verse

Chapter 6: Road Trip Au Modern

Chapter 7: In Which Zuko Does Not Join The Gaang But The Gang Joins Him

Chapter 8: Five Times Zuko Flinched Away From Affection And The Times He Reciprocated It

Chapter 9: Never A Traditional Bender

Chapter 10: Road Trip Atla Verse Drabble and outline

Chapter 11: Road Trip Au Modern Drabble

Chapter 12: Zombieland with Maze runner elements

Chapter 13: Zuko The Kyoshi Warrior

Chapter 14: How To Resocialize Your Fire Lord

Chapter 15: While We're Still Young And Fearless

Chapter 16: While We're Still Young And Fearless drabble and outline

Chapter 17: Zuko's Path To Enlightenment

Chapter 18: While We're Still Young And Fearless drabble and outline

Chapter 19: Can't You See The World Is Changing?

Chapter 20: Would Anyone Chase Me And Say The Words I Need To Hear?

Chapter 21: Can Someone Just Hold Me? Don't Fix Me Don't Try To Change A Thing

Chapter 22 : I'm Phenomenal And I'm Enough

Chapter 23: I'm Phenomenal And I'm Enough drabble and outline

Chapter 24: Would Anyone See Me For The Person That I Really Am

Chapter 25: But They Can't Erase The Fire In Our Eyes

Chapter 26: Now I Found The Strength To Make A Change

Chapter 27: Martyrdom/Murder Do Not Interact

Chapter 28: Now You Shine Like The Gold On The Sea

Chapter 29: Look How Far You've Come, You've Filled Your Heart With Love

Chapter 30: For The Gods Walk Amongst Mortals

Chapter 31: Zombieland With Maze Runner Elements drabble and outline (tenative title) You Might Have Some Bruises And A Few Scars, But You Know You're Gonna Be Okay

Chapter 32: In Which Zuko Does Not Join The Gaang But The Gaang Joins him drabble and ouline

Chapter 33: Myths+Mayhem+Mystery=The Search For Iroh (alternate title) We're The Family We Were Searching For All Along

Chapter 34: Myths+Mayhem+Mystery=The Search For Iroh (alternate title) We're The Family We Were Searching For All Along drabble and outline

Chapter 35: Myths+Mayhem+Mystery=The Search For Iroh (alternate title) We're The Family We Were Searching For All Along drabble and outline

Chapter 36: Road Trip Au Atla verse drabble and outline

Chapter 37: I Wanna Try Even Though I Could Fail

Chapter 38: You Calm The Storm In Me

Chapter 39: How Many Animals Can Zuko Fit Into The Wani Before Uncle Tells Him No

Chapter 40: Myths+Mayhem+Mystery=The Search For Iroh (alternate title) We're The Family We Were Searching For All Along drabble and outline

Chapter 41: We're Not Looking For Where We Belong

Chapter 42: The Ultra Kind Of Love You Never Walk Away From

Chapter 43: TBA working title Five Times Zuko Walked In On The Gaang And The One Time They Walked In on Him And He Didn't React

Chapter 44: I Swear I Easily Bruise Was Always My Excuse And Now It's Loud Again

Chapter 45: Have I The Courage To Change?

Chapter 46: Pyromania And Photography

Chapter 47: We're The Kids They Forgot, But We've Got Each Other Tonight

Chapter 48: Try To Control Me, Put Out The Flames, The Fire Inside Me Cannot Be Tamed

Chapter 49: Dishonor On You, Dishonor On Your Komodo Rhino

Chapter 50: Amends: Noun; əˈmendz; compensate or make up for a wrongdoing

Chapter 51: All These Broken Souls, Each One More Beautiful

Chapters I was not able to post because my fic was deleted

Chapter 52: But Feeling Lonely Don't Mean You're Alone, People In Life, They Come And They'll Leave

Chapter 53: TBA (tenative title) I See Your Monsters I See Your Pain

Chapter 54: He Has Every Reason To Throw Up HIs Fist In The Face Of His God

Chapter 55: You're Never Gonna Fit In Much, Kid

Chapter 56: Tearing Us Apart Until It's All Gone

Chapter 57: TBA

Chapter 58: TBA

Chapter 60: Yeah, I'll Be Good, I'll Be Good For All The Times I Never Could

Chapter 61: TBA

Chapter 62: TBA

Chapter 63: TBA

Chapter 64: TBA

Chapter 65: Will You Remember Me In The Same Way I Remember you?

May add more chapters after this. who knows. I don't.

#atla outline #fanfic #fanfiction #up for grabs #not into the shadow realm tumblr #zuko is an awkward turtleduck #atla #atla zuko #atla fanfic #avatar the last airbender #do you ever just find the perfect idea #my ideas #my fanfic #save me from my insanity

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snowdice · 1 year

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Big Bang Editing Story [Day 111]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story years ago, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag ‘proofread stories.’ I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53

Going to work on this story. It will probably not be too many rounds before I grab lunch. I might do some later tonight though too.

Chapter 54 (Patton)

“I still can’t believe he’s allowing this,” King Thomas said from next to Patton. The two of them were standing at the edge of the arena outside the horse stable, watching from a safe distance.

“If he hadn’t tried to bite me earlier, I’d think he was a different horse,” Patton agreed.

“He doesn’t even let Logan ride him,” the king said. “At least not ride him and give him directions.”

Patton was very aware of that. Logan did on occasion choose to get up onto Mr. Apples’ saddle. However, Mr. Apples was always the once who got to decide where they went after that. Logan had no say.

With that in mind, Patton, Logan, and every stable hand who’d heard about the prospective riding lessons had tried to convince Virgil to learn to ride on a different horse. Virgil was just as stubborn as Mr. Apples however and had insisted. Logan, being the only one who could be around Mr. Apples without risking being kicked, had become his de facto tutor.

Not even Logan could have expected that within a week, Virgil would be able to control Mr. Apples. Though perhaps ‘control’ was the wrong word. Nothing could control Mr. Apples, but for some reason, Mr. Apples seemed willing to do as Virgil asked.

Even right now Mr. Apples was trotting around the training arena like he was a well-trained trick horse warming up with his rider.

“Logan told him we could go on an actual ride today if the lesson went well,” Patton told the king. The lesson seemed to be just getting over because Logan said something to Virgil and Virgil started to climb off. Mr. Apples was patient and still as he dismounted.

“Do you think he’d mind if I went with you?” King Thomas asked.

Patton shrugged. “Mr. Apples might.”

“Mr. Apples definitely will,” the king replied. “I’ll come anyway.”

Logan had walked over to where Patton and the king were standing while Virgil fed Mr. Apples some apple pieces as a reward.

“I hear you’re going to go riding today,” King Thomas said.

Logan nodded. “Mr. Apples seems to listen to him well enough,” he said.

“I might join you if that’s alright. Where are you kids going?” the king asked.

“I was thinking the main forest path,” Logan replied. “It’s not a particularly difficult route, but it’s also a part of the castle grounds Virgil hasn’t been able to see yet. Loraine told me it has been recently cleared after the winter.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” the king said. “Are you going now?”

“Once Patton and I saddle up our horses,” Logan said. “You can come.”

“Great,” the king said with a smile. “I’ll ask for Bella’s saddle to be brought out. I haven’t gone on a ride yet this week.”

He turned then to walk towards the stables leaving Patton and Logan alone.

“Do you think he’s been acting weird?” Logan asked, turning towards Patton.

Patton frowned. “No,” he said. “Not really.”

“I’m just wondering why he wants to go horseback riding with us.”

“He likes spending time with you?” Patton guessed.

“Yes,” Logan said, “but typically in a setting that doesn’t involve Mr. Apples.”

Well, that was fair.

“I mean, it’s not too weird,” Patton said, thinking back through the last couple of days. King Thomas had been a bit… clingy.

“He’s been hanging around a lot,” Logan said, echoing Patton’s thoughts with narrowed eyes. He glanced back at Virgil. “You don’t think Virgil let something slip, do you?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Patton said. “I think your dad would say something if Virgil let slip he was an assassin somehow.”

“Unless he let slip something that didn’t quite implicate himself but invited suspicion.”

“Your dad doesn’t seem suspicious,” Patton said. At least, Patton didn’t think he did. He hadn’t been acting mean in any way. In fact, he might have even been acting nicer.

Logan frowned. “We should keep an eye on him, especially around Virgil.”

Patton bit his lip.

“What?” Logan asked.

“Are we ever going to tell your dad about Virgil?” he asked.

Logan hesitated. “I don’t…” he trailed. “I’m not sure.”

“It just feels weird lying for so long,” Patton said. Patton didn’t lie a lot. Sure, maybe he’d pretend to not know what Mama was talking about when sweets went missing from the kitchens or he’d pretend to not know what Logan’s birthday gift was, but he’d never lied about anything serious before now.

“I know, but,” Logan glanced back at Virgil once again, “even if we did decide to tell, we’d have to convince Virgil everything would be alright beforehand. I don’t think we’re at that point yet. He was terrified of Father until a few months ago, and he’s still cautious around him sometimes.”

Logan was right, of course. Virgil was getting more and more comfortable around the king, but he figured any of the progress made would go down the drain as soon as they brought up telling King Thomas about where exactly Virgil had come from. Patton didn’t know if Virgil would ever be comfortable enough.

“We should go get our own horses,” Logan suggested, and Patton nodded.

Patton and Logan’s horses had already been saddled by the stable hands in anticipation of their ride and it didn’t take long for the king to saddle his own horse, Bella.

The forest path at this time of year was very pretty, Patton thought. The tree branches now had small green leaves on them after having been barren for the entire winter and flowers were starting to grow. In a few weeks’ time it would be even prettier, but it would also be harder for the groundskeeper to maintain as well as it was right now.

Virgil really did seem less anxious around King Thomas now. The path was only wide enough for two horses to go at once, and he didn’t seem to mind that he and the king ended up next to each other while Patton and Logan lagged behind. In fact, he and the king seemed to be having a nice conversation about the local wildlife.

However, if Patton looked close enough, he did sort of see what Logan meant. Virgil may not be anxious talking to the king now, but the king himself seemed just a little bit nervous at least at the beginning of the ride.

He seemed to relax a bit as they rode (even laughing when Mr. Apples tried to bite him when he got too close).

Logan had been teaching Virgil the basics about things like animals, but there was still a pretty big gap in his education when it came to anything that wasn’t about training to fight and kill. King Thomas seemed more than willing to answer any of his questions when it came to the animals and plants around them even if they were sometimes a bit silly.

He’d seen a bird that looked like a dove. (It may have even been a dove, but Patton hadn’t seen it.) This had been a source of endless confusion for him.

“But shouldn’t it live in the dovecote?” Virgil asked.

“Not all birds live in a dovecote,” the king explained again.

“But it’s a dove,” Virgil said with a frown.

“Not all doves live in a dovecote,” the king replied.

“But it’s a dovecote,” Virgil argued. “It’s for the doves.”

“Yes, but there are also wild doves,” the king said.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Virgil replied.

“What about it doesn’t make sense?” the king asked with a laugh in his tone.

“Doves go in the dovecote,” Virgil said.

Patton was starting to have trouble following this argument.

“Dovecotes are made for doves,” the king said, “but not all doves go in dovecotes.”

“Why?”

This seemed to stump the king momentarily, but he still answered after thinking for a bit. “Doves existed before people got to them,” the king explained. “People caught and trained some of them, but there was no way to catch all of them. So, some stayed in the wild and continued with their lives like they had been before humans. Plus, sometimes domesticated doves fly off and never come back. Sometimes they might die, but other times they may have just gotten lost and had to build a new life somewhere far away. Or maybe they even decided that being a trained dove working for humans wasn’t for them, so they decided to go off on their own.”

“You let them do that?” Virgil asked.

“We can’t really stop them in the end,” the king said. “People can try, but it never ends up working as long as they can fly.”

Virgil thought about this. “I still don’t understand,” he said, “but okay.”

“We should take you to the cliffs,” the king suggested.

“What are the cliffs?”

“The castle grounds were built for defense,” King Thomas explained. “The edge of the grounds to the North is a large river and overlooking it is a huge cliff. It’s a good place for picnics and for birdwatching. It’s a bit of a trip, but now would be a good time of year to go.”

He glanced over his shoulder back at Logan and Patton. “What do you boys think about going to the cliffs sometime? Maybe in about a week?”

Logan squinted at his father suspiciously. It wasn’t so much the fact that the king was asking them to go to the cliffs. They did that every so often. However, this time, it only supported Logan’s claims that the king was hanging out with them a lot recently.

“Sure,” Logan said, after a moment.

“Sounds fun!” Patton said cheerily right after, trying to cover for the lack of enthusiasm in Logan’s voice with his own. Judging by King Thomas’s expression and Logan’s tight-lipped scowl, he may have overcompensated.

“Great,” the king said. “”I’ll make sure to make arrangements when we get back to the castle.”

Chapter 55 (Logan)

Virgil was beginning to be able to read some of the common instructions in magic books, but Logan still made sure to read out the instructions to him at least twice before setting him loose. He’d started to jot down notes to himself about things, though these notes were not words, but various symbols that only made sense to the boy himself.

Logan had asked about their meaning at one point and received an answer that, while earnest, was unintelligible. The symbols were mostly just pictures of things to represent certain steps in spell casting, but they were filtered through Virgil’s rudimentary penmanship and often bizarre perception of the world.

Though, despite the fact that Logan could not often decipher his chicken scratch, it did seem to help him produce impressively quality charms even as Logan began to introduce more complicated processes to make them. He was a very good student even if he didn’t have the best foundation for learning.

“I add lavender for the next step, right?” Virgil asked, his finger on a word in Logan’s magic book.

“That is correct,” Logan confirmed.

Virgil looked back at the book and mouthed the word ‘lavender’ to himself before turning back to his potion. He grabbed a few sprigs of lavender and threw them into the cauldron.

The liquid popped and bubbled violently, but Virgil didn’t flinch as he once would have, prepared for it now.

After the lavender, Logan knew that it would have to simmer for 5 minutes. Virgil looked down at the boiling liquid, contemplating it for a long moment.

“Can I soak a knife in it?” he asked.

“What?” Logan asked.

“Can I soak a knife in the potion once it’s done?”

“In that potion?” Logan clarified. “In the emergency hand warmer potion?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I think a hot knife would be useful,” Virgil said.

“For what?”

Virgil shrugged. “Cooking food on the road,” he said, “burning wood, stabbing someone and immediately cauterizing the wound.”

“That is… not a standard use for this potion,” Logan said.

Virgil titled his head at him. “Would it work though?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Logan contemplated. “Perhaps. The potion can cause burns if one uses too much of it or if it is used without an appropriate layer between it and the skin. If one were to pick a knife with enough surface area and let it soak long enough, it could in theory get hot enough to do as desired. Hmm…” he thought about it. “There would perhaps be the problem of the potion not sticking to the knife very long as it is intended to soak into fabric. However, cardamom could solve that issue as long as it doesn’t interact with any other ingredients. Let me see that spell.”

#proofread stories #not writing

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dari-ede · 2 years

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In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 18 (M)

Chapter 18: "Loving Me Might be Dangerous"

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Trigger warning/spoilers: talk of trauma, implied abusive/toxic relationship, implied sexual abuse/assault

Rating: M (explicit language, scenes)

Status: COMPLETE

AN: Sorry for the later-than-usual post (once again). As I was editing this week, the first half of this chapter went through a HUGE revision. The chapter was already done but as I did my final edit, I noticed it needed a whole rewrite. The closer we get to the end of this story, the more I need to go back to revise some things. We are closer to the end than we are to the beginning, everyone. Thank you so much for staying with me!

Warning/spoilers: oral sex, swallowing, breast play, multiple orgasms

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Weeks Later-

Overnight bag in hand, I arrived at Namjoon’s front door, knocking excitedly late at night.

The door flung open no more than a couple of seconds later, deep dimples welcoming me.

Once inside, Namjoon took the bag from me and pulled me in for an open-mouth kiss.

I kicked off my shoes as the door shut behind us. My tongue welcomed the intrusion as I let out a deep moan.

The tension between the two of us the entire day had been intense. Due to the online concert taking place tomorrow, all week long, we hadn’t seen much of each other. The most we had seen of one another was today at rehearsal. But because of the dozens of eyes and cameras surrounding us, we were forced to keep a distance. We stole a few glances at each other but ensured we didn’t get too close. For hours we were around each other but had not touched or spoken much. Suffice it to say, the spark between us continued to ignite and felt like it would explode at any moment.

At the chance I had to leave the stadium, I did Namjoon’s text came no more than a minute after I announced I was leaving.

MONI: Be at my house in two hours. If I don’t answer, use the code. No nightwear. Just you.

I must have read it at least dozens of times, imagining his deep, demanding tone in my ear. My pussy had been wet ever since.

I hadn’t fully listened to his instructions, though. I did bring an overnight bag with me that contained any necessities I would need. I didn’t intend to come back home before the concert, so I would be getting ready at Namjoon’s place tomorrow. However, I did listen to him and brought no nightwear. I fully believed him that there would be no need for clothes tonight.

Namjoon began to walk us toward his room. I wasn’t good at walking backward, so I held onto his shoulders and jumped onto his chest. I had climbed on him enough by now that his body had learned to catch me nicely.

Our lips did not detach the entire walk to his room. He set my bag down somewhere and softly set me down on the bed. It was much smoother than the first time he had placed me on his mattress weeks ago.

“What’s so funny?” he asked between kisses.

Damn, I hadn’t realized I was laughing. “Nothing,” I lied. “Just keep kissing me,” I pleaded, not wanting to ruin the magic. We had gone so long without touching; I didn’t want this to stop.

“Did you get a nap in?” he asked, his hands taking hold of my shirt and pulling.

I knew what he was implying. “Don’t worry. Your cock is a good source of dopamine,” I said as I pulled his pants, my hand making its way to his thickness.

He let out a grunt as he pulled off my pants and panties at the same time. His long fingers took a handful of my ass and squeezed. “Your mouth has gotten filthier.” He pushed us further into the bed, making me settle in the middle with him between my legs.

I let go of his cock and felt it move on its own, pleading for me for attention. I pushed up against his chest to sit up. “You complaining about my mouth?” I questioned as my mouth took hold of that space between his neck and ear. The spot I learned drove him nuts.

He let out a groan, a hand of his reaching up to take hold of my tit to squeeze. “Only because it’s not around my cock right now.” He dived in and took a mouthful of me. His tongue darted out to run circles around my nipple.

I let out a squeak, scratching at his back when I felt his teeth lightly graze my skin.

Namjoon wasn’t much of a dirty talker with me. Around his guy friends, I would overhear him and make nasty jokes, but around girls, he was always mindful. He had loosened up around me in the last couple of years, but since we had become an item his language was getting dirtier. It was definitely a turn-on.

He was in the middle of worshiping my breast when I surprised him and rolled him off me. I settled myself on his lap, his cock standing straight up.

I reached between us, taking his member and navigating it to where I needed it. “I’ll do it once it tastes like us.” I descended on him before he could ask what I meant. My pussy stretched and slightly burned at the sensation. His cock was still too big for my pussy to take without foreplay.

His hands came to my hips, helping me take and gripping me tightly. “You’re tight.”

Maybe I should have stimulated myself before taking him in or at least used lube, but it was too late for that, he was already inside. And while I felt slight discomfort, the sting felt also incredible. I took a breath, looking down at the glorious creature underneath me. The dragon eyes were staring up at me, the sweat dripping off his body felt too delicious to be coming off a normal human, and the grip holding me felt more like claws. This was the kind of sex that got me off the most; the kind that I tended to prefer when I was in deep need of release: the wild kind. And judging by the look of pure ecstasy coming from Namjoon’s face, he needed to tap into that wilder part of himself.

His hands came to the swell of my breasts and traveled down to my nipples. He took each of them into his fingers and rolled the buds, sending quivers right into my pussy.

I used my knees to move, going slow at first. My body needed to get used to him before I could go at my preferred pace, which tended to be rough and fast. Thankfully, the discomfort quickly faded and all I could feel was pleasure. I quickened my movements.

Namjoon’s hands were still on my hips, supporting me more than controlling me. “You look damn good riding me, girl.”

My movements only became more erratic with his praise, feeling my orgasm approaching.

He sat up, his mouth coming to my tit again. He slurped and feasted on it like a starved man. I had no milk to give, but I believed if he continued the way he did, some would appear.

His hips came up to meet mine, his thighs slamming into mine. I could see a vein appear across his neck. He was getting close, but I didn’t want him to.

“Not yet,” I said breathlessly, my fingers scratching at his chest. “Me first.”

He took a deep breath to still himself. Then moved one of his hands between us. His thumb touched my clit, pushing me to the brink. I let out a cry as blackness came over.

As my orgasm took over, Namjoon’s thrusts continued, but at a slower pace.

“Close,” his husky voice let out once my body had settled against his.

I pulled out of him, quickly, and made my way down his cock. My lips engulfed his thickness, and I could see his eyes roll back once he was in my mouth.

The taste of my tangy sweetness combined with his salty, sour goodness was enough to make me want to cum again. I controlled myself and focused on bringing him to his peak. Keeping eye contact with him, I pulled back, pulling his cock out of my mouth with a pop. “We taste fucking good,” I mumbled and went back to dining on his gorgeous cock.

He let out a moan, the vein in his neck coming back. “Shit. I can’t hold it.”

I took him in both my hands and pumped him. “I want to drink you,” I said desperately.

He looked ready to lose it. I stroked him faster and reached underneath him to squeeze his jewels. He let out a grunt and pushed into my throat, his stomach hitting my nose. I let out a gagging sound and the noise seemed to do it for him. A warm, fuzzy liquid jetted down my throat. I drank as much as I could.

Namjoon let out a grunt, pulled back, and pushed in a little at my mouth once more before falling back onto the bed. His massive cock exited my mouth and a copious amount of my spit mixed with some of his milky cum pulled out as well. The string of spit connected his dick to my mouth. I used the mix of liquids to stroke his cock. He twitched a bit at the overstimulation.

“You’re gonna kill me,” he let out, taking deep breaths in trying to calm himself.

I giggled and crawled my way up his body, my body craving cuddles.

Usually, after sex, we shared a calm moment before starting up again, but Namjoon’s kisses and caresses were bluntly telling me he was ready for round two.

He was needing to blow off steam. It wasn’t just about needing my body or the stress of the online concert, but something else was bothering him. I wasn’t shy about sex and used it plenty of times myself as a stress reliever. I didn’t mind him using my body to release some of my pent-up emotions. Especially when he made sure I was always left me plenty satisfied.

His palms took hold of the back of my thighs, bending them until they reached my shoulders. My legs were spread before him, allowing my pussy to be in full display for him. His mouth came down on my cunt and ate me like a starved man.

This was going to be a long night. And I was going to fucking enjoy every moment of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The woodsy scent in the air was the first thing I caught on to as I woke up. The scent was too powerful so I knew I wasn’t in my own home. I had slept in this room a handful of times already to know I was in Namjoon’s bedroom. Last night had gone for hours. It had taken a few hours for Namjoon to have quenched his thirst. While I was fully taken over desire along with him, in the back of my mind, I knew Namjoon was dealing with something—news he must have gotten after I had left.

As I opened my eyes, I found Namjoon was not in bed with me. This came as no surprise. Artists rarely got a full night’s rest right before a show.

I rolled out of the bed, my body feeling a little sore from the night’s events. I walked towards the full-length mirror to witness the aftermath. Even with the poor light, I could easily detect small bruising along my thighs and hips. My breasts were slightly red and a bit swollen.

There was nothing about last night that I hadn’t enjoyed, but I knew this was going to be a heavy topic this morning. I mindfully got myself ready.

I went over to my overnight bag and pulled out a fresh pair of panties and then looked around to see what I could put on since I hadn’t brought any nightwear. I found one of Namjoon’s many Fear of God tees and slipped it on.

Once clothed, I made my way out of the room in search of him.

I spotted him in his dining room, sitting in his reading chair which was surrounded by dozens of books. He was deep in thought reading when I found him, not hearing me come in. He was hunched over, elbows laid on his legs, reading a heavy book. He was sporting his thick, reading glasses that made him look the perfect combination of adorable and hot.

I wanted to just stand there and absorb him, but when he began to roll his neck around and stretch out his neck, I instinctively walked over. His neck and shoulder problems would always be an issue for him but he would never want to make a big deal out of it.

It wasn’t until he felt my hands on his shoulders that he noticed me.

He jumped, startled, but quickly settled. “Ah, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” I said, continuing my massage. “How long have you been up?”

Namjoon closed his book and settled on the chair, giving in to my touch. “Too long.”

I found a nasty knot. The moment I applied the right amount of pressure on him, he let out a grunt. Yeah, something was definitely up. “Want to talk about it?”

“What do you mean?” he asked with some hesitation.

He needed honesty. “Your body is a bundle of stress. We hardly spoke last night. Not to mention, while I enjoyed every bit of it, you were a little rougher than usual.”

At this Namjoon’s entire body snapped towards me, his eyes frantically searching my body.

I had slight regret in admitting this but knew that if I wanted Namjoon to be honest with me, I needed to be as well. There was no way he was going to let me in unless I gave a little.

“I’m fine,” I said once he spotted a large bruise right below the hem of the t-shirt. When he didn’t turn away and looked to be remorseful, I took his chin in my hand and forced him to look up at me. “You did nothing I didn’t enjoy.”

He opened his mouth and looked to say two words I really didn’t want him to.

I stopped it with a gentle kiss. “If you want to make it up to me, you can talk to me about what’s going on.”

He let out a sigh and settled back onto his seat.

I let go of his hand and walked over to the armchair adjacent to it, one closer to the kitchen.

“We’re doing a few shows in Vegas in April,” he said.

Immediately, I felt thrilled about the news. It was something the company had been aiming for, some of the guys had shared the possibility of it some weeks ago with me. They had been excited about it, so I was puzzled as to why Namjoon didn’t look over the moon.

I didn’t say a word, however, allowing Namjoon plenty of time to voice his thoughts to me. After a moment, he seemed to be ready. “We have four shows here in Seoul, but I wanted to do more. Maybe some in Busan, but higher-ups want to wait until after Seoul to see if regulations were to lighten up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy we’ll be going to Vegas, but….” He stopped himself, looking guilty.

I finished it for him, “But it’s not home. You want more shows here.”

There was a small and shameful nod. “Am I being ungrateful?”

“No,” I said instantly. “I think it’s normal to have conflicting emotions about everything. There’s the excitement of shows, but also the disappointment that things aren’t speeding up the way you need them to. You can feel multiple things at once.”

He gave a nod, but his eyes told me there was something more. His shoulders were still sagging from carrying a heavy load he didn’t want on him.

“What else?” I pushed a little.

He let out a restless sigh. “There’s something I haven’t yet told you.”

“What?”

He avoided my eyes. “The seven of us have decided to make a deal with each other. We’ve been talking about it all summer long and it’s honestly one of the reasons why we’re letting go of the dorms. It’s not so much that we’re needing space—which definitely is part of it—but it has more to do with what we’re planning for the future.”

I held my breath, my heart hammering hard against my chest. In the pit of my stomach, I knew what this was in regard to. Every time I thought about this, I got sick to my stomach.

Namjoon’s eyes moved up to meet mine. The beautiful irises that could make me to mush and could turn up my desire were now tearing at my heartstrings. He looked so defeated. “We’re giving it until the summer for the government to figure out what they want to do about our enlistment. If things are still up in the air, Jin-hyung wants to just be done with it and enlist by the end of summer. He’s done waiting—done making noona feel like she’s walking on a tightrope. And the rest of us want to follow him.”

There it was, my heart sinking and getting stomped on. I felt the tears appear, but seeing Namjoon already crying, I held it together. There could only be one of us in shambles at the moment. Two being fully emotional did no one any good.

“Would it be the same time as Jin?” I asked, my voice slightly shaking.

He shook his head slightly. “We would leave in less than a year of him.”

I nodded, inclining I understood. An image flashed in my mind of going an entire day without communicating with Namjoon. The simple thought made me feel like vomiting. I couldn’t remember the last time I went longer than 24 hours without hearing from Namjoon. Especially since we had gotten together. We didn’t go more than 24 hours from seeing each other. To have to go longer? It seriously made me sick to my stomach.

And as bad as I felt on the inside, Namjoon looked much worse on the outside.

My best friend was someone who was fully in touch with his emotions, never allowing himself to be closed off. It was one of the many things I adored about him. How he could feel so much all at once and hold no shame or guilt or shyness for it was admirable.

“I know we just started out,” he let out, his voice shaking but still in control. “But it just makes me angry. And I then feel ashamed for feeling angry.”

I went over to him, crouching in front of him and taking his face into my hands. “We got plenty of time.”

He shook his head but allowed himself to fall into my touch. “I think last night that’s all I kept thinking about. Not being with you. And I guess my body just took over.”

It made sense. If I knew my days were numbered before my freedom was taken away for eighteen months, I would have craved to do it as much as possible. I would want to make every experience count.

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” he said, his eyes watering with guilt.

I stood myself up and settled on his lap. The chair was wide and fit us both, but only with my legs right above his own. “I have zero complaints about last night.”

His hands were on my back instantly.

I leaned in, claiming his lips. “Please believe me when I say you didn’t hurt me.”

“You sure?” he asked, his emotions settling.

I nodded. “I’d kick your ass if you ever did something I didn’t like,” I said half-jokingly.

It got him to at least smile a little.

“And as we’ve said before, we’re taking it slow. There’s no need to rush. Whatever happens, happens in due time,” I said gently, my hands stroking his cheeks. “We have plenty of time.”

“You’re leaving next month,” he said almost bluntly, a hint of sourness in his tone.

“Only for two months; I’ll be back by the end of January.”

He pulled me closer, taking a deep breath as if to take my essence into his scent. “Promise?”

I held up my pinky. He brought up his large hand and used his own slender pinky to wrap around my much smaller one.

He let out a giggle and scrunched up his face at seeing my tiny pinky. “Cute!” He maneuvered his thumb to press against mine, locking the promise.

Normally, I would argue against his description of me, but seeing his scrunched-up face made me act out in cute aggression myself. I took his cheeks into my hands and pinched them. “You look so good. I could eat you!”

I dived in and took his lips in mine.

At that moment, there was an odd sound that seemed to come from my stomach. Simultaneously, we both moved our heads toward the sound with a look of confusion.

My stomach churned again, and this time it was followed by an ache.

Namjoon let out a chuckle. “Sadly, it’s not enough to quench your hunger. Let’s get something in that stomach of yours.” He moved a little, tapping my thigh so I could move off.

A big part of me wanted to continue staying where we were, but now that I was aware of my hunger for food, I couldn’t ignore it.

“I could order something for us,” Namjoon offered.

“How about I just cook,” I offered. “I’ve been wanting to since you made us dinner on our first date.” I looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

“Good luck finding something in there,” he warned.

I lifted off him. “Shower first?”

He gave me a suggestive smile. “Together?” He came closer to me.

I pulled away from temptation. “We’re gonna end up in the same situation as last night if I join you and we gotta leave in a few hours,” I reminded him, keeping my eyes on his face.

“You make a good point.” He turned away and headed to his bedroom. “I could take the guest shower if you want to take mine.”

I agreed, simply because I was used to his already.

I was about to step away so I could start my shower, but Namjoon's hands on my tee made me stop. He had a look on his face as he stared down at me.

"What?" I asked, looking down to see what it was that had him looking aroused. All I saw were my bare legs.

"I like you in my clothes," he mumbled. His hands made their way under the material, his slender fingers feeling like hot coal against my skin. "Put this back on after you shower." He turned and left before I could answer.

A smile appeared on my face at the knowledge that I learned something else that Nmajoon found attractive.

We met in the kitchen not too long after, both feeling refreshed. As per Namjoon's instructions, I put his t-shirt back on.

Namjoon entered the kitchen and let out a small groan as he came behind me. He rubbed my backside as he asked what he could help with. I fought back a smile as I gave him instructions. I scrambled the eggs as he chopped the onions next to me. I could see he was dicing them, even though I had asked him to slice them. I smiled but didn’t correct him.

“What are you humming?” he asked as diced away.

I hadn’t realized I was singing the melody in my head out loud. “It’s been stuck in my head these last couple of days. Can’t seem to shake it off.” I took the eggs off the heat and stirred.

A loud clunk came from where Namjoon was. “Aghhh.”

I immediately turned and went towards him. “What happened?”

He was holding his finger as he had a look of pain on his face. “I think it’s a splinter.”

But he had been cutting onions, how in the hell did he end up with a splinter? I looked down and took notice of the knife handle. It was wood. I let out a sigh. Only Namjoon would have the bad luck of getting a splinter from a knife handle. “Can you see the splinter?”

“I think so,” he said, examining his finger. He wheezed as he seemed to push on it.

“Ok. Please, don’t do anything. Let me go get some tweezers.” I rushed out of the room, hoping he would listen.

I was back at his side in less than a minute and the look on his face told me he was more than uncomfortable. Thankfully, he had listened and hadn’t touched anything.

I maneuvered us closer to the window for better light. Using my tweezers, I was able to pull it all out in one go. “How does it feel?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Stings a little,” he said with a face. “But it feels like you got it all.”

I brought his finger to my lips and kissed it. “Now?” I asked with a smile.

He let out a chuckle. “Much better. Here I thought I was going to need a painkiller, but that cured it easily.”

“I’m your personal painkiller,” I said teasingly as I began to clean his area. “Are you still up to cutting the onion and kimchi?” I asked.

He nodded and went back to chopping with a new cutting board, knife, and onion in hand. After a while, he started humming my melody. “You’re my painkiller,” he sang.

It sent me into laughter. I turned on the stove, ready to finally start cooking. Namjoon continued to create lyrics to the melody I had come up with. It wasn’t long before I started making up lyrics alongside him. He sang off-key but kept with the beat.

We continued cooking our breakfast as we created this song together. At one point, Namjoon took out his phone and recorded us singing. The songwriter in him was always alert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours before the concert, I found myself sitting in my dressing room for the concert. Since I was a guest and the only female, I had my own room. Hair and makeup had finished with me and had left to assist the dancers. I wasn’t fully dressed yet since my part in the concert was come late in the show.

The guys had finished soundcheck and getting ready themselves. Bored by being alone, I sent a message to the guys to see their whereabouts. Tae immediately answered.

WEIRDO: Namjoon-hyung and I are in a dressing room together. I was about to head to the green room. You can have your privacy…. 😉

ME: Thank you 😏

MONI: thanks, bro

GLOSS: Be sure to lock that door….

I made it to the dressing room in record time, knocking on the door without waiting.

The door opened and I was greeted by Taehyung and one of the makeup artists. He gave me a knowing grin. “Hi, noona. What are you doing here?”

I wanted to kick him, but the makeup artist was looking at me as well. He was lucky I was quick on my feet. “I need to discuss one of the tracks for the new album with Namjoon.”

Taehyung rose his eyebrows, looking impressed with my quick response. “Lucky for you, we’re heading out.” He and the makeup artist made their way out, Tae limping while doing so.

I suddenly remembered what occurred during rehearsal. “Tae, how are you feeling?”

“It’s a sprain. Can’t do any choreo.” Taehyung gave a sad shrug, his mouth turned downside.

I closed the distance between us and gave him a warm hug. He leaned heavily in as I rubbed his back. “I know you’re disappointed. I’m sorry, jagi.”

He gave a nod, hugged me tight once more, and pulled away. “Thank you, I’ll see you in a bit.” He and the makeup artist made their way out.

My heart squeezed as I watched my friend leave. It was going to be a tough performance for him, but he would be fine. His health had to come first.

I pushed the door closed and turned back around. There, in front of me stood a tall, gorgeous man. “You look handsome,” I said as I walked over to him.

He frowned and looked down at himself. “I’m in a t-shirt. I haven’t even started hair or makeup.”

“And?” I reached for a kiss.

He leaned the rest of the way and after our peck, he took hold of my hand and walked us to his chair.

Once he sat down, we were almost at eye level. I reached over and traced my fingers across the shaved strips on his head. “Do you think you’re going to keep the look?”

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. “No. It’s mostly for promotion,” he answered. “Why? Do you like it on me?”

I placed my forearms on his shoulders, steadying myself. “I like every look on you.”

“Liar.” He laughed. “You didn’t like the mullet,” he teased.

“How much alone time do we have? You’re going to have to meet up with the guys, right?” I asked, trying to sway the conversation elsewhere.

“Plenty,” he said as his large fingers traveled to my backside. He had a look in his eyes.

“Namjoon-ssi,” I warned, but my body still melted against his touch.

“I missed you at lunch.” His voice was low as he pulled me in, his lips coming to my neck.

I let out a moan. I had missed him, too. “Will you be able to spend the night?” I asked without thinking. We had already reached our weekly limit of sleepovers.

He let out a grunt. “I would love to but my parents—”

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a knock at the door.

I immediately pushed off Namjoon. Stupid me hadn’t locked the door.

“Yeah?” Namjoon called out as he straightened up in his chair.

“Jooni, it’s us,” came a deep kind voice from the other side of the door.

I knew the voice well and it only hiked my anxiety.

“Come in. The door is open.”

I put some more distance between us and took a breath to calm myself. The door opened and a good-looking older couple walked into the room, bright smiles on their faces.

I greeted them in a polite form. While I had gotten close to Namjoon’s parents in my time living here, I always acted in my best behavior around them. “Hello, eomeonim, abeonim.”

Eomeonim greeted me with a warm embrace. “Maiwa, where have you been? We haven’t seen you in so long.”

Abeonim’s embrace was a shorter one. “Is Jooni keeping you all to himself?” He turned over to Namjoon and gave his son a playful smile.

Namjoon made his way over to his parents. “Shouldn’t I get hugged first?”

Eomeonim wrapped her arms around her son. “We saw you several days ago. We haven’t seen Maiwi in months. When are you going to bring her around?”

Namjoon took a breath. “Eomma, we’ve been busy.”

“You can’t spare us two hours? We would like to have dinner with the two of you.” Eomeonim reached out for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “A celebration to your relationship. When Namjoonie told us, I was ecstatic! I’ve been rooting for the two of you—”

“Yeobo, let the girl breathe,” Abeonim said as he rubbed his wife’s shoulders, trying to calm her. “Jooni has asked for space. Let’s honor his wishes.”

I was grateful for Abeonim. I was starting to get slightly embarrassed.

“Eomma, we’re taking it slow. Plus, we’re both booked back-to-back until the Los Angeles concert. I don’t get to see her as much anymore.” Namjoon’s voice was respectful but stern. I knew he didn’t want to disregard his mother but seemed to be creating boundaries.

Eomeonim let out a breath. “Alright. I get it.” She turned to me with a sweet smile. “I miss having you over. You haven’t been around in months now.”

I felt a pinch of guilt. “My apologies. I’ll message you. I promise. It might not be until after the Los Angeles concert that we don’t get to hang out. I’ve been talking to Sissy on the phone and we’re already making plans to shop around while the guys are in LA. Want to join us?”

“Oh yes! That will be wonderful!”

With Eomeonim settled, I made some excuse of needing to leave to get ready.

I gave them each a hug before I headed out and gave Namjoon a small smile. I adored his parents, but I was feeling my nerves tipping close to the edge. I wanted to make sure the next time we spoke, I had enough time to mentally prepare myself. They had sprung at us a little too soon for my liking.

I made my way toward the green room, where the rest of the guys were. It was a good walk in the sense that it was enough time to allow me to calm myself.

The closer I got to the room; I heard the amount of noise coming from the inside. I made my way in and noticed most of the guys were there.

Yoongi was on his chair staying perfectly still, phone in hand while being handled by hair and makeup. Jin sat a few feet in a similar position. Jimin and Jungkook, on the other hand, were being loud and rowdy while their poor makeup artists tried to get them ready.

Taehyung was the one to immediately notice me, “Where’s Namjoonie?”

“With his parents,” I said simply, making my way over to a deserted seat, which was close to Jimin and Jungkook.

Behind me, I could hear Yoongi giggling.

I turned, feeling as if I knew what he was thinking about.

“What’s with the laugh?” Jin asked, sure instigating.

“Oh, I left my phone unlocked. I had some private things I wanted to keep hidden. Has that happened to you lately, Maiwa? Have you left your phone unlocked and someone walks in to find some compromising things?” Yoongi held complete eye contact with me.

“Maiwa has a tendency of never locking things, so I imagine people walking in and finding some stuff on her phone,” Jin added. He had the same sadistic humor as the old man sitting next to him.

Thankfully, it didn’t seem as if any of the staff was picking up on their Morse Code. When I knew none of the staff was looking, I sent the two oldest members of the group the finger.

As Yoongi and Jin shared a laugh, Jungkook and Jimin began to do vocal warmups. Jungkook invited me, which I did.

Their warmups differed from the ones I used but we tried each other’s techniques. It had been a while since performing on stage and I mentioned to the guys how I had started to take vocal lessons to prepare for the show.

“Did you really take vocal lessons for this?” Jimin asked me, looking surprised.

I nodded. “My voice needed work. It was a bad idea to stop the lessons in the first place.”

“But your voice is great,” Jimin said, not understanding.

I wasn’t going to deny it or pretend to be humble about it. I was proud of my vocal abilities. I struggled with many things in my career, but the one thing that came naturally was singing.

“Not as great as it is when I take vocal lessons,” I said.

“Jungkook doesn’t really take them,” Jimin said, motioning to his teammate next to him.

Jungkook turned away from us and to his phone.

It was a disagreement Jungkook and I typically had: how often to take vocal lessons. I decided to give Jimin my point of view. “I get and respect Jungkook’s opinion on why he doesn’t take too many vocal lessons. I know he wants to be as authentic as he can with his voice and create a tone and style that is completely his own. However, in my opinion, going without a vocal coach can be detrimental to your chords in the long run. Even Celine Dion, who is one of the best vocalists, takes vocal lessons regularly. I think it depends on the vocalist.”

Jungkook nodded in agreement to my last statement.

Jimin gave a short nod and looked to consider my words.

I knew Jimin struggled with his voice and wasn’t satisfied with it. He had past baggage with his voice. Those who cared about him were sensitive around him about it. I wasn’t sure if it was my place to give my opinion to so many people around us, so I kept my mouth shut. I reached over to my water and took a long gulp.

Jimin looked around at seeing me drinking. “I’m thirsty, too,” he mumbled as he spun around the room, trying to find his own bottle.

Jungkook was in the middle of sipping his own water, his lips not touching the rim of it. Wordlessly, Jungkook extended his bottle to Jimin.

Jimin took it, placed it directly on his lips, and drank the water quickly. “Thanks,” he said as he offered the bottle back to Jungkook.

But Jungkook didn’t move to retrieve it. “Did you put your mouth right on the bottle?” His face looked slightly appalled.

Jimin let out a nervous laugh, recognizing his mistake. “Sorry.”

All the guys were cautious when it came to their drinks. They hardly sipped from the rim of bottles. To them, it kept things sanitized and each other safe, just in case.

However, I never understood this practice with them. “What does it matter if you two swap spit?” I asked.

Jungkook looked at me in disbelief. “I don’t want his germs.”

“You guys share lip balms,” I pointed out. “You feed each other constantly—meaning your chopsticks touch someone else’s lips or your fingers go into someone else’s mouth.”

“That’s different,” came a voice.

We turned and found Namjoon walking over to us. His lips twitched as he looked at me. He wanted to get a rise out of me.

And like an idiot, I took his bait. “How is it different?” I challenged.

“The amount of saliva that comes out when you’re drinking out of water is substantially more than when you share lip balms,” he countered.

“It’s still spitting, is it not?” I demanded. “So if one of you is sick, whether it’s a lip balm or water, you got each other’s germs regardless.”

“But it’s also that some of that water makes it inside of your mouth and then back into the bottle. Some of that liquid has swirled all over your mouth. It would be like kissing each other,” he tried to rationalize.

“You guys share food,” I pointed out. “You put your mouth into that food to take a bite, do you not? Wouldn’t that be the same as kissing?”

“But the food doesn’t make it past the teeth because I would bite it off. It’s still not that much saliva that would be shared. Now, when it comes to liquids, some of it makes it past the teeth and deeper into the mouth.” His eyes twinkled as he said this, clearly knowing he was making a stretch.

I called him out on it. “You are so full of shit.”

The room filled with laughter.

But he refused to accept defeat. For the next few minutes, we went back and forth. Namjoon coming up with bullshit counterpoints and excuses about the whole water bottle thing. His answers became so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity. He couldn’t hold it together himself either and eventually laughed at his own reasons.

The guys went back and forth between prepping for the show and goofing off. Before we knew it, it was time for the guys to head to the stage.

All seven of them, along with their team and me, made their way. Right before stepping out, the guys gathered together, did their huddle, and walked up the stage. Namjoon was the last to disperse and took a look back as he did so, catching my eyes. He sent me a blink-and-you-will-miss-it wink and hurried out.

How did that man make me into a puddle of mush when no more than an hour ago, I wanted to wring his neck?

I watched them backstage, admiring how great they performed but at the same time anxious for my time to join them.

My tia Jia sent me several messages of encouragement. And on the few times that I felt myself starting to psych myself out, I would reread them. I had been on stage more times than I could remember, but I could never get rid of the butterflies right before I went on. And the closer I got to perform, the sicker I felt.

A warm hand pressed on my side. Eomeonim appeared next to me, a smile on her face that was striking to Namjoon’s—minus the dimples. My anxiety stilled a little. “All of you singers are the same. Always so nervous right before going on stage.”

I gave her a nod. “Yeah.”

“There’s no point in telling you that everything is going to be alright. It doesn’t help does it?”

“Sometimes,” I lied, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

She gave me a look that told me she didn’t believe me. I instantly felt a heat on my cheeks. I had never felt so uneasy around Namjoon’s mother. But things were different now. However, her warm smile came back. The one that always put me at ease. “I meant it when I said I’m happy about the two of you. You’re a great friend to him. He’s always in such good spirits when he talks about you. He says you understand him in ways he can’t understand himself.” A brightness came to her eyes and I was certain there was a tear in there.

It made me worry. “Eomeonim, what’s wrong?”

“He’s been having a rough time. And he won’t tell me why.” She gave me a look that silently asked me a question.

I looked down, not able to answer her. It wasn’t my place to tell her about Namjoon’s stress. I wasn't sure what he had shared with her. I made a mental note to talk to him about this. I didn't want to accidentally spill something he didn't want his mother to know. They had a good and trusting relationship, but I knew Namjoon at times kept some things from his parents until he was ready to share. He liked to think things through first.

Eomeonim accepted my silence. “Can you be sure to look after him? I know you already are, but can you take extra care of him?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, clutching my hand.

“Maya-ssi?” someone called out to me.

I turned and found a staff member looking at me. “You’re almost up.”

Eomeonim and I shared a hug and I made my way out to the stage.

Even though it was an online concert, the fact that millions of people were watching still made me nervous.

I got into position, waiting for my cue. As soon as I was given it, all my nerves left me on that stage.

---------

MASTERLIST

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

#rm x reader #inthemiddleofthenight #bts fanfic #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #friends to lovers #secret relationship #fluff #rm #kim namjoon #fluff and smut #namjoon x reader #rm x maya #Spotify

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