#psa: just write it down guys you’re not gonna remember

[darklesmylove]

me waking up in the morning after thinking of an idea for my wip half asleep the night before and proceeding to not write it down because i know i’ll remember it the next day:

#writing #psa: just write it down guys you’re not gonna remember #story of my life #writer #writers #writeblr #writing problems #writer problems #writing humor #writer humor #writeblr humor #writing meme #writer meme #writeblr meme #fanfiction writers #fanfiction writer #wip #wip meme #wip humor #1k #2k

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Let's Call It Funny

Prompt: Hi! If you know about those gen z peter parker posts, could your write something based on that? With Steve Getting It (tm) because fatalistic nihilism in humor tended to show up during the world wars and we’re seeing a reflection of that now? Sorry- I just think it’d make great options for steve and peter bonding, and dad!tony but actual emotions (gasp!) You can totally ignore this if you want!

Don't ever apologize for giving me such a great ask

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: uhhh gen z humor

Pairings: none! all found family in this bitch

Word Count: 2529

Here’s the thing about humor. It’s not necessarily that one generation is any funnier than another, it’s just that high school kids are perpetually the funniest people alive. Something about being in a pressure cooker of an environment with a bunch of other people whose bodies are changing in new unpredictable ways whilst having very little say in how their lives go creates humor. Gasp of shock, right?

So basically what Peter’s trying to say is that he’s fucking hilarious.

Come on, not only does he have the default high schooler stuff, he’s also gay, which gives him an instant bonus. He’s trans, which opens up a whole new subset of humor for him to explore. He’s neurodivergent as fuck, and we all know that makes people funny as hell. And if that weren’t enough, he’s severely traumatized and he’s Spider-Man.

Peter Parker is funny as hell.

What is truly devastating—and really, it’s their loss—is that so few people seem to appreciate it.

Ned gets it. Ned’s not someone Peter would expect to not get it, just because hey, it’s Ned. They’ve met each other in the hallways and been like ‘hey! You’re still alive! Congrats on having a body!’ Only for the other one to go ‘hey! You’re alive too! I wish I had an intangible form!’

Because bodies are stupid and evolution really fucked us over but at least we’re not horses.

A solid 50% of their interactions are just quoting John Mulaney and Bo Burnham bits back and forth at each other. Peter’s never gonna forget the day they both had detention and had to watch that stupid Cap PSA—it’s propaganda, you Nazi fuckwits—and something reminded them of the ‘horse loose in a hospital’ bit and they just did it. Full out. Stood up and did the actions and everything. The rest of the room was either trying to do it with them—and failing, because they didn’t have nearly enough practice—or looking so confused. The security guard—Paul, he’s great—just looked at them blearily after they finished and went:

“I mean, you kids are right, but you’re not supposed to talk in detention.”

Well, excuse them for trying to make it more entertaining for everyone.

MJ gets it. If Peter’s being honest, he learned most of his humor from her. She is the master and it is an honor to study in her wake. He’s definitely hijacked the asking whether or not anything’s actually meaningful existentialism jokes and they’ve wormed their way into his day-to-day repertoire.

“Why are you late, Mr. Parker?”

“Time is a social construct, Mrs. B, none of us are ever late or early except in the subjective spacetime paths. The limits of our sensory perception make it so we can’t tell if anything is real, let alone whether or not they conform to some arbitrary definition of ‘time.’”

“…just sit down, Peter.”

See? It works.

Aunt May gets…worried.

Sure, they’ve actually talked about when Peter needs help and wants to reach out and when he’s just making jokes off the cuff because hey, humor’s a great coping mechanism or it’s just a joke and not that serious. Peter loves his Aunt May, so so so much, and the last thing he wants to do is really worry her. And she’s gotten pretty good at figuring out when he’s just joking and when he’s spiraling.

Sometimes, though…

“Peter,” Aunt May calls from the kitchen, “did you remember to stop by the store on your way home?”

Peter freezes halfway through the door.

“Peter?”

He swallows. “…no.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am too stressed and consumed by the swirling pit of blackness deep in my soul to remember my head is connected to my body, let alone remember to go to the store.”

Silence.

“…Aunt May?”

“Do you want to drop off your stuff and then go to the store?”

“…yeah, please.”

“Love you, Pete.”

“Love you!”

“Try to remember that you’ve got arms so you can pick stuff up.”

“Got it!”

See? It’s fine.

The Avengers don’t get it. Like, at all.

Natasha and Clint like, sorta get it? They make the same jokes all the time when they think Peter can’t hear them, which—come on, you guys are super spies, surely you know people are gonna hear you when they’re gonna hear you. Natasha will make a crack about something, Clint will laugh and shove her shoulder. It’s their dynamic, we get it. But when Peter does it…

“Hey, Baby Spider?”

Peter sticks his head up from the ceiling. “Yeah?”

“Where’re you crawling off to?”

“I’m gonna go hide in the garage.”

Natasha blinks up at him. “Why?”

“Because if I get crushed by the airlock doors then I won’t have to do my paper tomorrow.”

Silence. Natasha’s mask is too good for Peter to actually see what’s going on with her, let alone from this angle, but silence isn’t good.

“Nat—oof!”

Something blurs out of the vent nearby and tackles him down onto the couch.

“Clint!”

“Nope,” Clint mutters, wrapping Peter up in a hug as Natasha comes to join them. “You’re staying with us now, Pete.”

“Guys, I’m fine.”

“Peter,” Natasha says softly, “don’t joke about that, you’ll make us worry.”

“I don’t wanna do that,” Peter mumbles, “but it’s fine.”

“Coping mechanism, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s got too many brain cells to do that,” Clint says, ruffling Peter’s hair.

“Stark has a lot of brain cells, you see what good that does him?”

“Hmm. Guess you’re gonna have to stay awhile, Pete.”

There are worse fates. Definitely.

Thor just kind of gets confused by it. He acts like Peter isn’t going to be absolutely fine because there’s no need to do anything like that. No, Peter, you don’t have to put the bleach in first into your cereal, there’s plenty of milk left over. No, Peter, you don’t have to throw yourself off the roof because your laptop is freezing, Stark has so many just lying around. No, Peter, you don’t have to pack a rucksack and run away to the Alps and live like a recluse, come here and get a hug.

Peter suspects Thor’s playing dumb on purpose. The man is smart as hell, there’s no way all of this is flying over his head. And honestly, it warms his heart a little bit when he sees Thor’s sincere, concerned look when he thinks Peter’s not looking.

Banner and Rhodey just kinda shake their heads and move on. They’re used to it. They live and work with some of the most dramatic fucking people in the goddamn universe, they’re used to a little bit of extra humor. Occasionally one of them will give him a look that says he’s pushing his luck, but that’s not often. Less often now ‘cause he knows what he can get away with. He’s also seen them hiding smiles behind their hands or poorly disguised coughs. They’re not as slick as they think they are.

Tony.

Tony is the fucking worst.

Peter can’t get away with so much as sighing too hard before Iron Dad™ is swooping in all soft words and concerned touches. Jesus. You’d think he’d get it, he uses humor as a coping mechanism too, goddamnit, why is he so worried about Peter?

Okay, fine, he knows why.

MJ’s over at the Tower, having another one of her ‘sketch people in crisis’ appointments with Natasha. Peter is coming off of a 32-hour caffeine rush and is violently wishing for death. Tony is in the kitchen doing…something.

“Hey, do you think bleach would make a good smoothie?”

Tony wheels around to see MJ pulling a glass out of the cupboard.

“Kid—“

“Sounds like a filling breakfast,” Peter groans, “can you make me one too?”

“…I’m legitimately concerned,” comes Tony’s mutter.

MJ ignores him. “Who’s the bitch on your forehead?”

Peter rubs absentmindedly at the massive knot on his head, courtesy of a wall that rudely decided to move at the last second while Peter was attempting to walk through a doorway. “He’s called DJ Braindeath and he’s my only friend in the world.”

“Peter—“

“Oh did you meet him at the furry convention?"

“Technically it’d be a buggie convention.”

“What the hell are you two talking about?”

“The pantry doesn’t have good coffee, I’m going to Starbucks.” MJ grabs her bag. “You want anything?”

“A will to live?”

“Peter, what the fuck—“

“Oof, I’ve only got like…20 bucks.”

Peter lets his head drop back to the counter. “Then just leave me here to die.”

“Can I have champagne at your funeral?”

“I’ll be dead, I won’t fucking care.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Then MJ’s gone and Peter gets treated to a 20-minute conversation with a very concerned Tony Stark that he doesn’t remember most of because hey caffeine crashes aren’t fun.

He definitely does it on purpose sometimes just to wind Tony up. Like there’s this one incident with an interview he does as Spider-Man and he gets asked what he thinks about Tony Stark’s newest intern, Peter Parker.

“That boy’s an embarrassment, just…complete failure. Can’t speak without stuttering through every other word and self-esteem issues all over the place. Also looks like he got dressed in the dark.”

The reporter had awkwardly moved on to another question. The interview aired later that day while Peter was at the Tower. Tony sat next to him on the couch about halfway through.

“You look good, Pete.”

Peter had mumbled halfheartedly, only to hear the reporter ask the same question.

“See, that’s the problem with having a secret identity, you don’t…” Tony trailed off as he heard the answer.

Peter snorted as Spider-Man finished talking. “Say that to my face, you bitch, get a real job. At least I don’t look like someone vomited silly string all over my spandex.”

“Are you okay?”

See? Fun.

The only one he’s made a conscious effort to not be this funny around is Steve.

Because, okay, here’s the thing. Steve’s disappointed look has no effect on him anymore. He’s immune, motherfuckers, he’s had detention too many times for it to still work. Here’s the other thing: Steve doesn’t actually use that tone of voice that often. It’s this meticulously crafted image he plays up in interviews because it catches all the bad guys so off guard when Captain America is suddenly swearing a blue streak at them and telling them to go fuck themselves in, honestly, quite creative ways. The sincere Steve Rogers disappointment and concern still very much works. Also doesn’t help that Steve does caring so fucking well, like…who gave him the right to say a few things and hold Peter like he’s something precious and do the quick one-two punch of saying a super sincere compliment and following it up with ‘I love you.’ Who did that? It’s rude. Stop it.

And yeah, Steve’s the resident Mom at the Ready. It’s a risk to even sit on your bed looking sad ‘cause here he comes, wearing something snuggly and saying ‘hey’ in that stupid, stupid compassionate voice. So Peter knows he’s just gonna end up crying from too much soft if Steve actually gets concerned. Which won’t be fair because he’s gonna try and explain that he’s fine and it’s just his sense of humor while crying. Yeah, like that’s gonna be believable.

So he’s trying not to but damnit it’s hard.

Then he walks into the kitchen one day to see Steve struggling with the toaster.

It’s one of Tony’s new prototypes—which means that anyone struggling with it is so fair—and from the looks of it, it’s managed to not only burn the bread to a crisp, but also mangle the slices beyond recognizable shape.

Peter’s not paying that much attention. He’s on his phone, heading towards his spot in the corner with the beanbag chairs and definitely doesn’t recognize Steve as he goes.

He only plops down and hears someone declare, in a completely deadpan voice: “There is no point to existing at all.”

“Oh, mood.”

He doesn’t think much of it. He doesn’t even know who said that, that’s how hyper-focused he is right now. He hears the others come in and feels Clint plonk down next to him.

“Hey, Pete.”

“Sah, dude.”

“Just vibing. Did I do it right?”

“Yeah, man you’re going great.”

“You teach Thor ‘yeet’ yet?”

“We’re getting there.”

“Steve,” he hears Tony call from the kitchen, “what the fuck did you do?”

“Language.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me about language when you’re making toast that looks like a goddamn welder’s table, what is that?”

“Your prototype’s work, I imagine.”

“How did you even—“

Clint chuckles next to him as the two of them start fondly bickering. Peter’s too busy speedrunning the five stages of grief in his head.

Did…did Steve say the thing about there being no point to existence at all?

No…no way.

He must be imagining things.

Then, of course, there’s a chime on his phone.

Ned: Did u do the bio hw?

There was bio homework?

Ned: yeah, due at noon

“I now know why God abandoned this timeline and when will death come to take me?”

The room goes silent.

Shit.

“Peter,” Clint says, “it’s gonna be fine, you can do bio homework in your sleep—“

“Are you okay?” Ah, that’s Thor.

“Kid—“

And Nat, and Tony’s probably rushing over here as he speaks.

Then there’s another voice.

“We can only pray the reaper arrives early for his appointment with us, kid.”

Peter’s head snaps up.

Steve.

Steve fucking Rogers raises a coffee cup at him in salute and takes a sip. He makes a face.

“…that was definitely salt,” he mutters, before shrugging and downing the whole thing.

…what?

Peter’s still staring at him until he catches his gaze and winks.

Oh, fuck yes.

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Tony says, hands on his hips, “explain.”

Steve just gives him a look. “I grew up in the Great Depression, Tony, and I was in the army. You don’t think I have a fatalistic sense of humor?”

“Plus the fact that most of my generation is resorting to types of humor found when death and stress are so ever-present that you have to joke about it says something,” Peter adds, “doesn’t it?”

Steve raises his cup again. “See? He gets it.”

And just like that, the bond between Peter Parker and Steve Rogers was written, formed, and sealed in salt and existentialist depression.

“There’s two of you,” Tony mumbles, “oh my god, there’s two of you.”

“Oh, you just wait ’til Buck and Sam get back.”

Peter can’t fucking wait.

#marvel #mcu #avengers #spider man #peter parker #fic #dragonbabbles

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 21

A/N:  I’ve always wanted to write a super-tropey scene like the bar scene in this so I went ahead and did it and I LOVE IT, OKAY?!  Also, if you haven’t seen, I posted Part 3 of my Elias story last Thursday.  It’s linked on my Masterlist!

Also, just a quick note that I will be returning to a full-time job after Labour Day today.  I have enough chapters written out that I don’t think I will have to skip a week of posting, and I organize my time wisely so that I still give myself time to write, but this is just a PSA/FYI that I may not get to your asks/canon questions super quickly like I have been over quarantine.  They will still ALL be answered, though, so don’t worry about that!

Anyways, enjoy this! 

February 18th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was dejected.  

The Leafs had lost their last two games, but these felt different.  They’d lost to Buffalo on Sunday 5-2, and Buffalo was one of the worst teams in the league.  It didn’t even matter that there were a majority of Leaf fans in the building.  Now, tonight, they’d just lost 5-2 again, but this time to Pittsburgh.  She couldn’t keep her eyes off her phone, with tweet upon tweet upon tweet calling this the worst game of the season for the team.  Just an absolutely awful game.  No effort.  No heart.  No soul.  One that they would have to answer for at home, since they faced them again on Thursday, but this time at home.  She didn’t even like hockey and she was taking everything to heart because, well – she was part of the team now.  Everybody had told her that since day one.  And now, at one of the lowest points in the season, she felt that.

She couldn’t stop scrolling.  Couldn’t stop reading what everybody was saying.

It was Tyson who had volunteered to drive her home tonight.  Ever since Morgan broke his ankle, it was a rotation of Tyson or John.  When Emma picked up Tyson, she was just as nice, but she missed Bee.  She missed seeing the way Morgan looked at Bee when they were in the car, because it reminded her of how William looked at her when they were alone.

Aberdeen shuffled into the backseat of Tyson’s SUV.  Tyson was in the driver’s seat, and Emma was the passenger.  Everyone was silent as Tyson began driving into the city – she and Emma could tell he was dejected and mad at the game that had transpired just a few hours ago.  The short flight did nothing to quell his emotions.  And as Emma laid her hand on his on the gearshift, Aberdeen watched as she moved her thumb back and forth, trying to tell him that it was all okay.

“Tys…it’s not your fault,” Emma said softly, finally, after what felt like a lifetime of silence.  

“Em—”

“Tyson, listen to me.”

“—Emma, please, not right now—”

His eyes flashed to hers through the rear view mirror, but Emma wouldn’t listen to him.  “I know it and you know it too.  The whole defence is flawed.  Plus, you guys are missing Mo.  It’s not just you and you know that—”

“—Emma, I really don’t want to talk about it right now—”

“—and besides, if – or should I say when – you’re traded at the deadline, none of this will matter,” she dropped a bombshell.  “Everyone knows you’re unhappy and it’s not working out and that you’re much better suited to play somewhere else.”

Aberdeen felt her body stiffen at the revelation.  So Tyson was unhappy.  Unhappy with playing on the Leafs.  She knew he wasn’t having the best season, especially considering how successful he’d been in Colorado, but she didn’t think it was that bad.  He’d gotten better when Sheldon came in, but apparently that wasn’t enough.  It wasn’t enough to make him happy.  And in Aberdeen’s life, happiness was important.  It was almost paramount.  What you did and who you surrounded yourself with and your work should, ultimately, make you happy.  Was it the same in hockey?  Were hockey players allowed to be happy?  Were hockey players on the Toronto Maple Leafs allowed to be happy?  Or was everything just a business transaction?  A long road to the ultimate success of lifting the Stanley Cup, regardless of who got hurt along the way?

Tyson let out a long sigh as he continued to drive, choosing not to answer his girlfriend or say anything else.  When they got off the Gardiner and into downtown, Aberdeen was almost desperate to get out.  She felt very awkward.  Clearly Emma and Tyson wanted, needed to have a conversation, and she was stopping that from happening.  Just by being in the backseat.  She almost wanted to just tuck and roll out of the car.  Tyson could return her suitcase later.  She really didn’t care at this point.  

When he pulled up outside her condo building, Aberdeen almost didn’t want until he stopped the car and put it in park to click her seatbelt off.  “Hey Aberdeen,” Tyson looked at her through the rear view mirror.  She paused all her movements to stare back at him through the mirror.  “I uh…I’d appreciate it if you don’t mention to Brendan, uh, you know…what you heard…” he trailed off.

Aberdeen stared back at him doe-eyed.  She shook her head slightly.  “I don’t…I don’t tell Brendan about anything I find out about you guys.  I mean I would never…” she said softly, trailing off too.

Tyson nodded, smiling slightly.  “Thanks, Aberdeen.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem.”

When she got out of the car, Tyson popped the trunk so she could get her bag.  After one last thank you, a polite wave, and a push of the button to get it to close, she walked into her condo building.  She nodded towards the security guard before walking towards the elevators.

She wondered if William felt that same way when he played last year.

***

February 20th, 2020

“Get ‘em!” Aberdeen growled as she looked down onto the ice.  “Get ‘em!!!”

Brendan chuckled as he watched Aberdeen, her hands balled up in fists as she practically hung over the box.  He’d never seen her so into a hockey game before, and he didn’t know what had gotten into her.  “You alright, Aberdeen?”

“Get ‘em!”

He got a kick out of it.  Kyle, too, was doing one of those silent chuckles and getting redder by the second.  “Aberdeen, you’re going to blow your heart out.  We’re gonna need to put you on meds,” Brendan commented.  “You gotta remember that you’re staying until the proofs get here.  You can’t waste all your energy now.”

Aberdeen calmed down a bit, but she was still on the edge of her seat.  “Sorry,” she said.  She knew she was maybe taking it a bit overboard, but she couldn’t help it.  After the awful game against the Penguins on Tuesday, the Leafs were dominating them right now.  Freddie was playing phenomenally, Jake Muzzin had just scored to put them up 1-0, and they were getting really good chances.  It’s like the team did a complete 180 from what they were.  She also knew, though, that she needed to stay at the arena later tonight, because the final proofs for the St. Pats jerseys were coming and she was the one who had to sign for them and place them safely and securely in Brendan’s office to see tomorrow.  She didn’t know how long she’d be up tonight, and she’d need to conserve energy.  

“Don’t apologize.  I just don’t want you to have a heart attack,” Brendan smiled. 

With the Leafs on a powerplay, Aberdeen was like a hawk following the puck.  With Tavares, Matthews, and Nylander on the ice, she was praying for a goal.  And then—

“YES!!!!!” she screamed as William scored a beautiful goal, jumping up in her seat and throwing her fist in the air like she was Bender at the end of The Breakfast Club.  From beside her, Brendan and Kyle stayed unnaturally calm.  Aberdeen looked over at them and tried to settle back into her seat calmly.  “Sorry.  Again,” she said, gripping the armrests of her chair.  “But how can you guys be so calm?!”

“You get used to it,” Brendan smiled.

“Well, maybe you do, Mr. Hockey Player,” Aberdeen joked.

“Especially when the camera is on you,” Kyle added.

Aberdeen’s face dropped.  “Oh my God, I’m not on camera, am I?!”

Kyle shook his head, his smile spreading from ear to ear.  “We’ll have to see, Aberdeen, but I don’t think so.”

The Leafs dominated the rest of game.  Kasperi scored another goal only three minutes after William, and Zach scored in the third to make it 4-0.  Freddie got the shutout.  She knew he’d be happy about that, despite his stoic reserve.  As she, Brendan, and Kyle made their way to the locker room, Aberdeen saw the media already speaking to Jake Muzzin.  She knew they’d want to speak with the goal scorers too, and so when she saw William and Kasperi heading to the media room, along with John, Freddie, and Sheldon, she wasn’t surprised.  It was a good game.  Hopefully the media would back down a bit.  

She congratulated the guys and stood on the sidelines as Brendan and Kyle spoke to some of them once the media left.  By that point, some of them were dressed and ready to head home.  “Hey, you want a ride?” Jason offered as he approached her, tightening his tie around his neck.

“Oh, I’m staying back, actually,” Aberdeen informed him.  He looked at her skeptically.  “The final proofs are coming in for your St. Pats jerseys in March and I have to receive them and put them in Brendan’s office under lock and key.”

“Oh!” he exclaimed.  “Well, I can wait with you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Aberdeen, it’s fine.  We can grab a bite to eat afterwards.”

“Jason, I might be here until, like, eleven.”

“So we’ll have an authentic Italian-style dinner then.  All the more reason since I miss my motherland.”

“Jason—”

“Aberdeen, are you really going to say no me?”

She glared at him.  It was like St. John’s all over again.  Before she could open her mouth and say something else, another voice interrupted her.  “Why’re you giving Jason the stink eye?” William asked as he approached them.

“I’m gonna wait with Aberdeen until the proofs come and then we’re gonna grab dinner.  You in?” he asked William, but everybody already knew the answer.

William shrugged his shoulders casually, like Jason hadn’t just invited him to dinner with his own girlfriend.  “I’m in.”

Aberdeen rolled her eyes.  “You two are insufferable.”

“I like to think it’s part of our charm,” Jason smiled.  “Let me call Jen and then we can go trash Brendan’s office.”

*** It was about 10:45 when Aberdeen, Jason, and William ended up at a small bar none of them had ever been to that served small pub-style plates.  It was crowded, for some reason, even though it was a Thursday.  Aberdeen quickly learned, judging by the drink specials, that it was their grand opening weekend, and tonight was their first official night open.  Opening on a Thursday meant pandering to the university crowd for sure (whose pub nights usually took place on Thursdays), but this place was pretty full with an older, gruffier clientele that were seated at the bar and congregated in small groups around the open space in the centre of the room, away from the few booths against the wall.  She wondered if they marketed the place wrongly, or if they just wanted to fill the place so they could say they had a successful opening.  

It was a bit loud, but she, Jason, and William ate their late dinner in relative peace.  They spoke about the game only for a little bit before they moved on to other topics, making it abundantly clear to Aberdeen that they didn’t want to discuss hockey at all.  The food was fine, and so, too, were the beers William and Jason had, but Aberdeen’s Long Island Iced Tea had way too much rum in it so she couldn’t finish.  

By the time they finished, it was almost midnight and Aberdeen was starting to feel her fatigue.  They were told to pay at the bar, so they gathered their jackets.  Aberdeen insisted on paying for her meal, ever going so far as to run up to the bar herself, inching between some patrons in order to pay, before William or Jason could even get out of the booth.  William, however, was right behind her, ready to Jason’s meal on his card.

“H—Hey!  Hey!  Look what we have here!  Y-You’re Wiiiilliam Nylander,” a guy, older and very clearly inebriated, slurred out as he laid his eyes on them.

“That’s me,” William gave a tight-lipped smile, standing just slight behind Aberdeen, waiting his turn to pay.

The drunk guy focused his attention on Jason now.  “You.  Spezza.”

“Yup.”

He turned back towards William, shaking his head.  “Teams like this can’t win the Cup.  Esp-p-ecially not with this guy around.”

That caught Aberdeen’s attention.  She furrowed her brows as the friend of the guy, obviously just as drunk, nodded his head in agreement.  “Don’t have the heart like Dougie or Wendel.  All a bunch of pussies now.  Especially you.”

Aberdeen pulled her card out of the reader dramatically, turning her body so she could face them head on.  “What the hell is your problem?  There’s no need to be rude,” she said, her voice loud and firm.

“Aberdeen, stop it,” William said loud enough for her to hear.

“Y-Y-Yyyyou shoulda just sssigned the contract, man,” the drunk man grumbled out.  

Aberdeen tried again, ignoring William’s plea.  “Sir, this isn’t the time or place,” she intervened, but William’s hands went straight to her waist to move her out of his way so she wasn’t standing in between them anymore.  

Suddenly, it was William closer to the drunk man that Aberdeen.  The drunk guy apparently didn’t like that very much.  “You’re damn – you’re damn selfish!  Ssssselfish and greedyyyy,” the man continued to slur drunkenly.  “Seeeelfish, no good—”

“Sir—” Aberdeen showed up beside William, refusing to stand behind him.

“I oughta hurt you like you hurt the fffranchise.”

Aberdeen’s eyes widened.  That was a threat if she ever heard one, and even though he was drunk, Aberdeen didn’t like the tone of his voice.  “Okay sir,” she chastised.  “You need to stop overreacting.  We’re just here trying to pay for our meal.  This is no time to be a dick.”

“You know what?  Let’s just pay at the other end of the bar,” Jason said, trying to diffuse the situation as much as possible.  He even started to herd William and Aberdeen away from the drunk man and down the opposite end of the bar.  “You have fun with whatever whiskey you’re drinking,” he gave one last look to the man before walking away himself.

“Fuckin’ pussy!” the friend yelled loudly at William, already half way down the bar now.

Aberdeen looked back.  William had grabbed her wrist and was dragging her through the crowd so she’d get to the other side with him.  She watched as one of them slammed his glass down on the bar dramatically.  “Willy—”

“Ignore them, Aberdeen.”

“Yeeeeeah, fuckin’ pussy!  Fuckin’ lowlife!  Worst Leaf on the team!  Shoulda traded you back to Sweden, ya Swedish piece of shit!”

The men continued to yell obscenities and taunt William as they stood at the other end of the bar.  Aberdeen stared at William as he stuck his credit card into the machine, quickly punching in his pin.  “Does that happen often?” Aberdeen asked him.

“Aberdeen, don’t,” he shook his head, refusing to answer her as he pulled his card out of the machine and stuffed it back into his wallet.  It was as if he didn’t want her to know; as if he wanted to protect her from learning just how awful some “fans” could be – at least to him.

“Did you pay?” Jason showed up beside them.  William nodded.  “Alright, then let’s get the hell out of here,” he ordered, herding them again to lead them out.

It all happened so fast that Aberdeen didn’t really know exactly that – what happened.  All she knew was that she heard the guy yell from down the bar.  Then she heard the breaking of glass (commonplace in bars, really) and someone else yell “Put it down!” as she, Jason, and William continued towards the door.  Then another voice screamed “Watch out!” and she, Jason, and William turned their heads to look behind them.

Then it hit her.

Literally.

A glass had been thrown – obviously by one of the drunk men who had been harassing them – intended for William, but it hit Aberdeen right on the forehead instead.  She staggered backwards but didn’t fall.  As she brought her hand up to assess the damage, she could almost immediately feel blood dripping down the side of her eye.  

“Aberdeen!” Jason screamed.

William looked over and saw the blood on Aberdeen’s hand and it dripping down the side of her face.  His eyes filled with anger.  Jason, who was still looking at Aberdeen, saw the look she was giving William.  He whipped his head towards William, who appeared ready to murder everybody in the room.  “Will—William—” Jason tried to get his attention, but to no avail.

“Ohmygodareoyouokaaaaay?!” voices began to ask as they huddled around Aberdeen, William, and Jason worriedly, forming a protective circle around them.  There were so many people, so concerned and so loud asking if she was okay that Aberdeen couldn’t even respond – she was too overwhelmed and too confused to even comprehend what was going on.

That’s when the two men ran out.  When most of the people in the bar were distracted trying to see if Aberdeen was okay, the men had the wherewithal to completely book it out of the bar with nobody stopping them.  It was only William who noticed, screaming out a loud “HEY!” to try and get somebody’s attention to stop them, but nobody moved enough for him to get out of the scrum around Aberdeen to chase him.  William focused his attention back on Aberdeen even though he could feel his cheeks flush red with anger and tears forming in his eyes.  She was still holding the area above her eyebrow cautiously as the bartender waved her over.  Jason and William led her towards the bar, making sure she didn’t step on any of the shattered glass that now littered the floor.  The bartender was already opening the first aid kit.  William heard Jason tell everyone “It’s fine, it’s fine, we don’t need your help, it’s alright, we’ll handle it, we’ll handle it.”

Aberdeen was offered a bar stool to sit on, but she turned it down.  She didn’t want to be on display for everyone to see; she was already embarrassed enough as is.  “You wanna go into a washroom?” the bartender asked, and Aberdeen nodded her head.  He led them to the wheelchair bathroom, since there would be space for all of them, and ushered them in.  “The emergency rooms are just up the street.  They’ll do stitches.”

William glared at the bartender.  “Aren’t you even gonna call a paramedic or something?  What about the cops?” he demanded, his voice shaking from the anger he was still feeling.  “Can we look at security cameras to get a face?”

“Bro, we don’t want cops or paramedics here opening night.  That would kill us,” the bartender said.  William couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  “We don’t have cameras installed yet, either.  Just clean it up and take it to emerge.  It’s, like, two blocks north.”

William felt like punching the bartender square in the jaw.  And he would have, too, for being so insensitive about it, if it wasn’t for Jason opening the first aid box loudly against the counter.  Jason, for his part, glared at the bartender too.  “You can leave now,” he growled, focusing his attention back on finding what he needed within the kit.  “Useless piece of shit,” he mumbled under his breath.

Aberdeen sat on the toilet, trying to collect her thoughts and emotions.  She’d gotten hit with a fucking flying glass in the middle of a bar.  A glass seemingly intended for Willy, thrown by a drunk guy, but it had hit her.  She couldn’t believe what had just happened.  She was sure her hand was covered in blood at this point; she didn’t even want to know what her face looked like.  “Did I get busted open?” she asked, even though she was well aware of the answer.  She needed someone else to confirm it so this all felt real and not like a nightmare.

“Yeah,” Jason said softly.  “Listen, if that dipshit isn’t gonna call the cops or paramedics, I want to clean it before we go to the walk-in.  Your face has a lot of blood on it.”

Aberdeen nodded her head slightly.  There was nothing else she could do, really.  It wasn’t like she was going to reject any medical attention, from Jason or otherwise.  “Is it gonna hurt?” she asked.

“Of course it’ll hurt, but I don’t want any of the blood to crust and dry,” he said. 

“Am I gonna need stitches?  I’ve never gotten stitches before.”

“Move your hand a bit and let me see,” Jason said.  She moved her hand the slightest bit, too scared to move it anymore out of fear that blood would gush out like some Halloween decoration, and Jason looked up close.  “Yeah, probably,” he deadpanned.  William winced at the thought.

“Oh, Jesus.  Is it gonna scar?”

“No.  Not deep enough to scar.  At least not to me,” he said.  She trusted him, if only because he was a father of four and had been around the block a few times.  He cleaned her face as much as he could of the blood that had streamed down.  She watched as he got some alcohol and put it onto a pad, prepped a sterile gauze, and whatever else he needed.    Now, are you ready?” he asked.  

“I guess so,” Aberdeen braced herself.  She took her hand off the injury, relieved that no blood gushed onto Jason’s shirt.  “On three, okay?” she asked.  Jason nodded his head.  She began to count.  “One…two—”

She let out a guttural scream as Jason put the rubbing alcohol on her early so she wouldn’t wince away.  It fucking stung.  The sound that escaped her made Will’s heart drop into the pit of his stomach.  He never wanted to hear it again.  When he looked over, she was writhing on the toilet seat.  Even Jason’s face was pained at her screams, but he was doing what he needed to do.  After doing as much as he could, he took one last look at it before putting the sterile gauze on it, grabbing Aberdeen’s hand to hold it against the cut.  

“You ready to go to emerge?” Jason asked.

Tears had streamed down her face at this point.  She didn’t have a good tolerance for pain.  She nodded her head.  “Let’s go.”

***

It was just past two in the morning before an emergency room doctor saw Aberdeen.  Jason had called Jen to let her know what happened and let her know that he was going to be extra late, and William…well, William was silent.  He was still red with rage as they sat in the emergency room, with Jason and Aberdeen making conversation, but he was silent.  Truthfully, all Aberdeen wanted to do was hug him, hold his hand, and nestle into him, but she couldn’t.  It would have made things a hundred times better, but Jason being there meant that it was impossible.  She noticed William’s silence from the moment they were in the washroom at the awful place and Jason had cleaned the wound.  She was hoping that he wasn’t blaming himself.

“So, Miss Bloom, what happened here?” Dr. Behari asked as she sat on the gurney, Jason and William standing near her with their arms crossed.  

“Some guy at a bar threw a glass and it hit me,” Aberdeen explained simply.  “I think I’m going to need stitches.”

The doctor nodded, then looked towards Jason and William.  “And you’re her bodyguards?” he joked.

Jason smiled, but William didn’t.  “Friends,” Jason said.  “I cleaned it up a bit with rubbing alcohol at the bar, doctor.  I – It was the only thing I could think to do.”

The doctor nodded, stepping closer towards Aberdeen.  “Let me take a look, Miss Bloom, and I can clean it and see if you need stitches.”  Aberdeen took her hand and the gauze off the cut and the doctor put on his gloves.  “Aallllllright…” he mumbled as he checked it, Aberdeen wincing in pain slightly as he pressed down on it.  “You’ve got no residual glass in it, which is great.  All we have to do is clean it up and give you some stitches.”

The thought of stitches made Aberdeen a bit woozy.  She tried not to think about what they’d have to do.  “Is it a deep cut?  Like is it gonna scar?” she asked.

“Not a deep cut at all,” the doctor shook his head.  “I’m only putting it one layer of stitches.  You’ll probably have the slightest scar once it’s all healed but it’s easily covered with makeup, and due to placement, it won’t be too noticeable.”  Suddenly, the curtain that blocked off the room opened, and some supplies and medical equipment were ushered in.  Jason and William looked to see everything that Dr. Behari would need laid out on the tray.  “Ah!  Here we go.  Have you ever received stitches before, Miss Bloom?”

“No sir.”

“Think of it as me putting this beautiful masterpiece of a face back together,” he joked, causing Aberdeen and Jason to laugh.  William still wasn’t laughing, and Jason took notice.  

“You’re great, Doctor Behari,” Aberdeen giggled.  “I’m gonna get a scar like a real hockey player now.”

“Ahhhhh, so you guys are hockey players, huh?” he gestured towards Jason and William.  “I’ve stitched up a bad hockey injury once or twice in my day.”

Dr. Behari continued with what he needed to do, cleaning up the wound and making sure everything was well and prepped for the stitches.  The second he picked up the needle filled with lidocaine though, to numb the area so Aberdeen wouldn’t feel the stitches as much, William became more visibly upset.  For the last two hours he looked like he was about to cry, and now he just looked extremely pained, distressed at the thought of what Aberdeen had to go through.

It took Jason intervening for William to stop thinking over and over about when the glass met Aberdeen’s head; the look in her eyes and the blood on her face as she tried to stop the bleeding with her hand.  “Will, can you breathe for me?” he mumbled, Aberdeen and Dr. Behari too deep in a conversation to hear them.

William started shaking his head.  “He needs to be arrested.  He needs to be charged with assault.  We need to find him,” his voice was still trembling.  

“Will, we’re not gonna find him.  He ran off,” Jason tried to reason with him.  “There aren’t even any cameras we can check – the manager said.  We just have to let it go.”

“No.  That’s not good enough,” William was persistent.  “We need to—”

“Listen to me,” Jason said in a low voice, grabbing William’s forearm and turning him away from Aberdeen and the doctor.  They stood right in between the hallway and the curtain sectioning off the room.  “I understand this is personal for you because it’s Aberdeen, but you need to be level-headed right now, because as much as the doctor is making her laugh, she’s gonna see the stitches and probably get scared.  And she’s going to be looking at you to help calm her down and tell her it will be alright.”

William stopped breathing during the first part of Jason’s sentence.  He furrowed his brows, trying to brush it off, and brush off what Jason was implying.  “I don’t know what you mean about this being personal for me—”

“Will, come on,” Jason interrupted him.  “I’m too old to be fucked with.  We all see the way that you look at her and we know you have the biggest crush imaginable on her.  It’s not like it’s a fucking secret.”

“H—How do I look at her?”

“She’s the only person you ever see, Will,” Jason deadpanned.  “But…beyond that.  You have to remember Brendan’s gonna be asking questions tomorrow at the office.  I’ll handle a majority of that but he’s going to want the story from you too and you better be on your best behaviour or else he’ll figure out your little crush and Aberdeen will be fucked.  Do you understand?”

William couldn’t look Jason in the eye anymore.  He bit down on his bottom lip nervously, knowing that he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  “I think he already knows…” he mumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“I think…Brendan already knows about the crush.  At the Christmas party out on the ice I guess he caught me looking and he told me she can’t do anything with me until she leaves, and more importantly, I can’t do anything with her.”

Jason looked like he’d seen a ghost.  “And?”

“And what?”

“Are you doing anything with her?”

Here it was.  William’s first opportunity to lie outright to a teammate, a friend, a colleague, a guy that he looked up to immensely.  Aberdeen had had to do it with Siena, now he’d have to do it with Jason.  His girlfriend was a mere fifteen feet away and he had to deny that anything was going on.  “What?!  Of course not!” he said angrily.  

“William I swear to fucking God—"

“Nothing is happening,” he stressed.  “Jesus, Jason.  How awful do you think I am?  I wouldn’t do something like that to her.”

“Don’t fuck with me Willy.  She’s got too bright a future for you to—”

“I know that,” William stressed.  “I.  Know.  That.  That’s why nothing has happened.  That’s why it’s stayed a crush.”

“You promise me right here, right now, in the middle of this hospital while she’s getting stitches, that there’s nothing going on between you two, or so help me God, Willy—”

“There’s nothing going on between us,” William said bluntly.  He saw Jason’s face relax slightly, meaning that he was buying it.  “I’ve got my crush and that’s it.  But there’s nothing going on between us.  Nothing.”

“Woohoo!  Boys!” Dr. Behari called out, interrupting their conversation.  “Miss Bloom wants to hold one of your big strong hands just in case she feels anything.  Any takers?”

Jason raised his eyebrows at William and gave him a look.  William gave Jason one last look before walked over, stood next to Aberdeen, and offered his hand.  She grabbed it without hesitation.

Jason watched.

***

February 22nd, 2020

“What in God’s name happened to your eye?” Brendan demanded as he got his first look at Aberdeen Saturday morning.  In the town car, Lou had already commented on it.  Now Brendan got to see it, bright and early in the morning before heading towards the office.

“It’s a long story,” Aberdeen mumbled.

“Well we’ve got a long drive to the office.”

She sighed.  She recounted the events of the previous night to Brendan, from Jason and William agreeing to stay back with her, to them going to dinner, to the rude men, to the bottle throwing.  Brendan looked more and more horrified as time went on, and especially angry when she got to the part with the rude men.  They were essentially targeting one of his players, one of his star players, with assault; instead, that assault ended up hurting his executive assistant.  And when she mentioned the no cameras and the clueless bartender, he got really angry, because there was nothing he could do either.  

“And so, here we are,” Aberdeen finished.  “I’m three days out from my 22nd birthday and one week out from my party and I have a giant scar on my face.”

Brendan could tell by her tone that she wasn’t necessarily upset about it, per se, but that she was more so a bit self-conscious about how it looked.  “It’s not that big,” he said, trying to not make it a big deal.  “The stitches will be out soon anyway.  You don’t want to see some of the scars I’ve gotten.  I mean…” he trailed off, pointing to the one on his top lip and the one on his chin, “yours won’t look as bad as these.  Won’t end up as bad as these either.”

“You don’t think so?”

Brendan shook his head.  “No chance.  It’s only three stitches.  Did you tell your parents?”

“Yeah, we FaceTimed so I could show them.  They don’t want me in bars past sundown now,” she giggled slightly.  “I’m going to have to go to my doctor before we leave for Tampa Bay to see if they can get taken out though.  By then it will have been four days.  The emergency room doctor said it should be okay by then.”

“I’ll call Noah and have him take a look at it once we get to the arena,” he said, referring to Dr. Noah Forman, the team’s head physician.  “I’ll call Jason and Will in, too.  To let me know what happened.”

Aberdeen nodded her head.  It was only logical to talk to them about it to.  William had been the one targeted, after all.  “Are you excited for tonight?” she asked, trying to change the subject.  

Brendan shrugged.  “Last time we faced Carolina it was an…interesting game,” he said.  “How much more interesting can it get?”

***

Aberdeen was absolutely horrified.  Just absolutely fucking horrified at what was transpiring in front of her very eyes.  A complete and utter collapse.  Something that couldn’t be real.  Something she didn’t want to be real.  Something that was affecting her more than she ever thought hockey would.  If Aberdeen thought that Penguins game on Tuesday was bad, this was a hundred times worse.  A thousand.  A million. A billion times worse.

The Leafs were losing to the Hurricanes.  6-3.  And who was in net for the Carolina Hurricanes?  Their emergency backup goalie, who was, somehow, also the Toronto Marlies’ Zamboni driver.  Yes.  The Toronto Maple Leafs were losing to a Zamboni driver.  Their own Zamboni driver.

She wanted to crawl into a hole and die.  

Brendan had already left the box.  He’d asked her not to follow him.  That made her incredibly nervous, because usually when he was upset or disappointed about games, she was still following him like a little puppy.  That wasn’t the case now; he clearly wanted to be alone and alone he would be, wherever he happened to be.  

When the final buzzer rang, Aberdeen felt her heart rate go up even more, because it now meant that she did have to go find him.  She didn’t want to be in the locker room right now.  The team needed to be with their coach, and she didn’t exactly want to hear whatever was going to go down in there.  She wanted to remain willfully ignorant.  So instead, she began walking towards the offices, where a part of her knew Brendan would be.

She was quiet as she walked down the hallway and towards her desk.  She saw Brendan’s door almost closed, and knew he was inside his office.  She gathered her things, grabbed her jacket, and took a deep breath.  

She knocked lightly on his office door.  “Come in,” she heard him say absent-mindedly.  

She pushed the door open slowly.  When she revealed herself in the doorway, Brendan’s eyebrows rose slightly.  He was surprised she’d come and find him.  But he didn’t want her to know that.  Most other personal assistants he’d had usually let him be when he did something like this.  But Aberdeen was different.  “Oh, there you are,” he said, his voice low as he cleared his throat.  There were a few moments of silence as he thought of something to say.  “We need to go over the, uh…the proofs for the St. Pats jerseys,” he held out his hand.

Aberdeen was nervous.  He was a bit too calm for her liking, considering what had just happened.  She knew he wouldn’t want to talk about it exactly, but still.  “Okay.  Um, yeah, sure.  I have it right here,” she said as she began digging through her bag with all the files in it.  There were so many to sort through, and she knew she was taking a while.  

“By all means, move at a glacial pace.  You know how that thrills me,” Brendan said.

She pulled the proofs out of her bag and handed them to him.  He took them, a bit dramatically she thought, and opened them up.  “Okay, so…they’re done.  They can be sent,” he said dismissively, putting his signature at the bottom of every page of proofs.

Aberdeen was shocked, slightly.  There was so much back and forth on them because they had to be perfect and now he’d just signed off on them?  “They…they’re done?  So I don’t need to bring them back to the artist and fetch them back tomorrow?” she began to pull out her iPad so she could change her schedule.  

“Well, if you think the team is worthy of even wearing these jerseys and want to convince me to not just scrap the whole damn idea…then yes, fetch away.  You’re very fetching, so go fetch,” he grumbled out with a resolute emotion of nothingness in his voice.  

Aberdeen stopped her movements.  Okay, so he was affected by what had just happened.  And he was going to let it all out now, in front of her, with no-one else around.  No Kyle.  No Sheldon.  No team.  Nobody but her.  As she continued to stare at him, he couldn’t look her in the eye; he was looking everywhere in his office but her, even though she stood right across his desk from him.  “You’ll need to contact PR, um…Leslie, to see what she can do to minimize the press on all this,” he continued, pursing his lips together, looking out into a void.  “Another humiliating loss splashed across the Toronto Sun.  I can just imagine what they’re going to write about us.  The Toronto Maple Leafs lose to a Zamboni driver who works for them.  The most embarrassing loss yet, and it’s under my watch.  Every newspaper in this city should cut me a check for all the papers I sell for them.”  He shook his head, pausing for a few moments to collect himself, and finally looked at Aberdeen.  “Anyway, I don’t…I don’t really care what anybody writes about me.  But the team.  I just…the team.  It’s just another disappointment…another let down.  Another bad game.  Horrible game.”

Aberdeen didn’t know what to say.  She knew this was Brendan’s version of spilling his guts out to her.  This loss had taken its toll on him – was going to take its toll on everyone in the organization, and he was the guy heading the entire operation.  It all fell on his shoulders.  And Kyle’s.  But he was the overseer of it all.  He put the brunt of the blame on himself – not on the players or the general manager.  “Anyway, the point is…the point is…” he cleared his throat.  Aberdeen could see him visually recollect himself.  “The point is, we really need to get these proofs sent first thing tomorrow morning, because I’d like to see the jerseys before they get sent to the players.”

It was weird to Aberdeen how he could just switch like that – from experiencing the lowest of the low to going back to normal again.  She wondered if it was a hockey thing, because Willy did it too – he would be upset after losses, especially bad ones, but it would quickly become dirt off his shoulder.  She held on to her emotions and feelings much longer than them.  “I’m so sorry, Brendan,” she offered.  She knew there was nothing else she could say to him.  “If you want me to cancel your morning tomorrow, I can.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.  Why would we do that?” he asked.

Aberdeen offered a tight-lipped smile.  “Is there anything else I can do?” she asked.

Brendan nodded quickly.  “Your job.”

***

Aberdeen called Siena the moment she was out of the office and walking home.  She’d been okayed to go home by Brendan.  She’d texted Will, but he wasn’t answering, so God knows what was going on in the locker room right now.  She didn’t want to stay at Scotiabank Arena for that very reason.  She just knew it was too much for her to handle.  

She knew it was too much because she was already crying.  Silent tears, but tears nonetheless.  She prayed to God that Siena picked up.

“Hey,” Aberdeen finally heard her voice.  “What’s up?”

“Siena…” Aberdeen’s voice was shaky.  “Siena did you watch the game?”

“No, why?  What’s wrong?”

Aberdeen sniffled.  “I never thought I’d be crying about sports but here I am crying about the Leafs!” she blubbered out.

“Why?  What happened?”

“We just had the most God awful game,” Aberdeen huffed out.  “We lost to our own Zamboni driver.”

There was a pause on Siena’s end.  “Aberdeen, are you drunk?”

“NO!!!” she exclaimed.  “Go check the highlights or whatever.  Go turn on TSN.  It was humiliating.  We’re going to get absolutely roasted.  It’s going to be so bad and—”

“Aberdeen—Aberdeen you need to calm down,” Siena urged on the other end of the phone.  “It’s not your fault, Aberdeen.  And it’s not your problem.  Why are you so upset about it?  It’s not like you’re a part of the team.”

Aberdeen felt a punch to her heart at Siena’s words.  But she was.  Everyone had told her that she was – Brendan, Kyle, the guys, everyone – and she had no reason to think otherwise.  It was hammered into her since the beginning.  For all intents and purposes, she was a member of the team, which is why it hurt her so badly.  Siena didn’t understand that.  Siena didn’t understand how all the traveling together made them closer; how all the guys looked out for her – not in a patronizing way, just…in their own way – like they were her older brothers, especially after what happened at Christmas; how the word family was tossed around so often that Aberdeen really felt that this was a family in its own way, with a bunch of moving parts, often dysfunctional, but a family nonetheless.  Siena didn’t understand any of it.  “Yes I am,” Aberdeen said meekly, offering nothing.  She couldn’t put into words what she’d just thought, and even if she could, Siena, with all her smarts, wouldn’t understand them.  “I am a part of the team.”

“Just sleep on it, alright?  I’m sure everybody is going to forget about it by tomorrow morning,” Siena offered, showing truly just how much she didn’t understand.  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

At that exact moment, a car pulled up on the curb alongside Aberdeen.  When she looked over, she saw William in the driver’s seat.  He was already looking at her.  “Okay, bye,” she ended the call abruptly, stuffing her phone into her coat pocket before approaching and opening the door, slipping into the passenger’s seat easily.

When Aberdeen looked over at William, he immediately noticed her red eyes.  His heart tightened in his chest.  “Why are you crying, minskatt?” he asked.

“How could you not be?” she asked back.

He leaned over the centre console to kiss her.  “Please stop, minskatt.  I can’t stand to see you cry.”

“I don’t know what to feel – what to do – I don’t know what to say to you to make you feel better about this,” she lamented.

“Shhhh shhh shhh,” William kissed her again, bringing his of his hands up to cup her face.  “You don’t need to say anything.”

“Don’t I?”

William shook his head slightly.  “You’re here, aren’t you?” he asked, as if that was enough.  As if that’s all he needed, when really, Aberdeen knew he’d need so much more.  That she would need so much more.  “D’you want to come back to my place?”

Aberdeen looked William in the eye.  He wasn’t asking politely.  He was begging.  She nodded.  “Okay.”

***

Aberdeen was getting scared at how good she was getting at lying.  She’d made up a stupid story about needing to stay late at the arena again for the trade deadline so Kasha would go to bed and not wait up for her.  Kasha bought it.  Aberdeen didn’t even know if she was staying at William’s tonight or if she’d walk into her apartment at three o’clock in the morning again, for the second time in two days.  

(As if William would bring her to his apartment and then tell her to leave in the middle of the night.)

He took her to a tall, glass condo building, only about a ten minute walk from hers but closer to the south core that made him possible to practically walk to all the games if he wanted to.  He held her hand firmly in his once they got out of the car and walked through the parking garage, getting on the elevator.  William pushed the button for one of the top floors.  Of course he’d have a penthouse.  

Aberdeen was still too caught up in her own emotions to realize how big this was – every other encounter had been at her place, and now she was finally seeing his space.  When he opened the door, she was pleasantly surprised at what she was greeted with.  She knew it was rented, and so she half expected it to be kind of dull with no personality, but that wasn’t the case.  There were touches of William everywhere in the apartment – the slight, boyish messiness just adding to it.  Expensive shoes scattered at the entryway.  A few plants that weren’t dead, so she figured they were fake.  A giant, comfy looking couch in the main area with a massive TV that was hooked up to every gaming console known to man.  And pictures.  Lots and lots and lots of pictures everywhere.  All of his family.

She could tell that there was a spare bedroom on one side of the apartment, and she saw a door leading to the master.  William put his keys in the bowl in the middle of the kitchen island, watching her as she looked around his apartment.  “So what do you think?” he asked.

“Do you miss your family on nights like this?  When it’s a really bad game and really embarrassing?” Aberdeen asked, staring at a picture he had of him and him sisters together, holding them all in a giant bear hug as their smiles stretched from ear to ear.

The question caught him completely off guard.  “Of course I do.  I miss them all the time,” he said.

“What do you do on nights like tonight?”

“I sit on my couch and watch TV until I’m not thinking about it anymore,” William admitted.  “Lately I’ve really been meaning to do it with my girlfriend.”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but smile.  Even after a night like tonight, he was still flirting with her.  “Do you have a change of clothes?”

They went into his bedroom – bed messy, but huge; closet overflowing, but orderly; giant floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the other skyscrapers around them – and she changed into a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt that looked Supreme-branded but instead said ‘spaghetti’.  It smelled like him, thoroughly, and the second she put it on she felt like she was being hugged, even though it was about six sizes too big.  They changed together, and when they were done, they made their way back to the living room and William turned on the TV, pulling her towards the big couch.  He made her sit down first before kneeling down between her legs, resting his head on her stomach just beneath her breasts before wrapping his arms around her.  

It was calm.  It was nice.  It was mindless.  William was mindless as he laid there, his arms wrapped around his girlfriend in his clothes, watching TV but not really watching TV.  Aberdeen was mindless as she laid there, running her fingers through William’s hair soothingly, watching TV but not really watching TV.  It was a while before Aberdeen decided to speak again.  “You know, it’s not healthy to not talk about it,” she said.  

She felt William sigh.  “You know I’m not good with words, minskatt.”

“Oh, I think that’s a lie.  You’re great with words,” she said.

“No I’m not.”

“William, every author in the English language wishes they came up with the words, ‘I think about you when I’m not even thinking’, including me,” she countered.

William couldn’t help but smile.  “Those words are only for you,” he said.

“I know,” she said, “but can you please give me some other words so I know that you’re okay?  Because I’m worried.”

The fact that he was making her worried made him compelled to talk.  That was the last thing he wanted.  “I just…I just know that we’re never going to hear the end of it.  And I hate that.  I hate that it’s gonna be the big joke now.  Because hockey isn’t a joke to me.  Neither is the Leafs.”  He paused and Aberdeen was silent, and he knew that silence was urging him to continue.  “It happened because…it happened because they rallied around their goalie.  They protected him.  They had his back.  And we didn’t.  We just…we didn’t.  And I hate it when we do that.  Because I have…I have every guy in that locker room’s back.  I do.  But sometimes it just…” he sighed, shaking his head.  “Sometimes it just doesn’t work out how I want it to.”

Aberdeen had continued to run her fingers through his hair.  She nodded at the end of his speech.  “I’m not going to pretend that I know what it feels like, because I don’t,” she said.  “I haven’t been a fan of hockey and I don’t understand it like you do but I know how much a game like this can affect the group, especially with the media in this city.  But I got emotional about it because I know how much it affects you.  Even if you won’t tell me about it.”

“I don’t mean to not tell you,” William said.  “I just…” he paused again, thinking if he should even say anything.  “It’s that besides my dad and brother, nobody’s ever really…you know, listened.  So I just stopped talking.”

Aberdeen’s heart broke.  At that point, she stopped running her fingers through his hair and forced him to sit up, even though her legs were still wrapped around him, so she could look him in the eye.  She thought about Mike Babcock and what he’d done to Will.  She thought about all the other hockey coaches he had and wondered if they were just as bad.  “Willy…” she said softly, running her thumb along his jawline and lips.  “Willy, I want you to talk to me more.  About hockey.  About your family.  About your feelings.  About everything.  Please.  Please.”

William nodded.  He understood completely what she was asking him to do, and he was going to make a concerted effort to do so, because he loved her.  He loved her so much and he didn’t want to see her worrying about him.  “I will, minskatt.  I will, for you,” he said, kissing her quickly.  He shifted them so she was straddling his body.  “I just have to get used to somebody listening.”

“Willy, I’m always going to listen to you.  Don’t forget that, okay?” she asked, cradling his face in her hands.

He nodded, quickly kissing her again.  The words were coming now, and he couldn’t stop them.  Aberdeen had that power over him.  “What happened the other night at the bar was my fault,” he said.

“What?” Aberdeen’s eyes bulged out of her head dramatically.  “Willy, that was not your fault at all—”

“Yes it was—”

“No it wasn’t—”

“Yes, yes it was,” he said sternly.  “And I couldn’t take it.  I was so mad, minskatt.  I was shaking.  I wasn’t able to stop it or to protect you or—”

“Willy—Willy, stop.  Willy, it wasn’t your fault at all,” she repeated.  “Those stupid guys were drunk.”

“But they were aiming for me.  They hated me.  I wish that glass would’ve hit me instead,” he said, bringing his hand up to her scar and touching it lightly.

“Don’t you dare say something like that.  It was a freak accident, Willy.  There was nothing either of us could do,” she said, hoping he would soon realize it.

William paused for a moment.  “You’d talk to me too, right?  Like you want me to talk to you?” he asked.  Aberdeen nodded her head confidently.  “Were you scared that night?”

Aberdeen shrugged her shoulders.  “Just a little bit.  But you were there.  And Jason.  And when I realized that, I wasn’t so scared anymore.  I’ve been scared before in my life much worse and with less blood.”

William nodded.  “Are you listening?”

“Yes…”

“I love you.”

Aberdeen smiled.  “I love you too.”

They began kissing.  Lightly, at first, and then Aberdeen couldn’t help but stick her tongue down his throat, and William couldn’t help but squeeze at the flesh of her thighs.  As they made out like teenagers on his couch, Aberdeen placed her hands over his and guided them to her ass.  

William giggled slightly into the kiss.  “Aberdeen…” he said in a playfully accusing tone.

“I only want to remember feeling your hands there instead,” she mumbled against his lips.  

William froze.  Suddenly and all at once, her words hit him like shards of glass, cutting him to his very core.  “I’ve been scared before in my life much worse and with less blood.”  Ethan.  She still thought about what happened with Ethan – she still thought about it and it affected her and it made her scared, something she hadn’t admitted to before.  William felt like killing Ethan all over again right then and there, with Aberdeen sitting on his lap.  What affected her wasn’t a physical wound; what affected her was something much deeper.

“Listen to me,” he said, his hand cradling her chin, thumb gliding over her lips softly as she’d done to him earlier.  “Nobody is going to do that to you again, okay?  Not while I’m here.”  

Aberdeen nodded her head.  She believed him completely.

“I mean it, Aberdeen,” he pressed.

“I know.”

“If I ever saw him on the street, I’d fucking kill him for what he did to you.  For how he made you feel.  And I want you to know that, like…you’re not what happened to you.  You’re so much more.  He was a pig who couldn’t see that but I can,” William said.

Aberdeen almost burst out into tears at his words.  You’re not what happened to you.  You’re so much more.  She could have cried right then and there.  But instead, she nodded her head before kissing William again, even more eager this time, wanting to show him just how much she appreciated him, just how much she believed him, just how much she loved him.

#william nylander #william nylander imagine #william nylander fic #william nylander fan fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs fan fic #william nylander blurb #toronto maple leafs blurb #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fan fic #nhl blurb #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey fic #hockey fan fic #hockey blurb #the president wears prada series

[simpcxty]

I Grew Up (Minoru Mineta x Reader)

Warning ⚠️ Mineta is attractive in this one, and sorta likable. Just not in the beginning.

Also I have it in my head that he’d find any excuse to call you a fruit for a pet name. If you don’t like it then you can ignore it but I kinda like what I chose bc it was hard brainstorming what Mineta would call his significant other for me. So without further ado, you can enjoy this Mineta x Reader without anyone saying shit :)

And yes. I am doing this, and enjoying writing it. Bite me.

(PSA, i tried to find the artist and I’m pretty sure it’s diaboliiique on DeviantArt. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I literally found the art off of google 😔)

All Characters are ages up 18+

It was hard being the girlfriend of Minoru Mineta.

Let’s just get that out of the way now.

The way he can’t even keep to keep his mouth shut about other girls bodies even when you’re around him is sickening sometimes.

At least it used to be.

Could you even really call yourself his girlfriend anymore? You just sat nearby while other girls ogled at the now attractive version of your boyfriend.

Why couldn’t he have stayed the way he was? At least no one wanted him then.

You swore to yourself that you didn’t care. You knew the relationship wouldn’t last so there’s no reason to be upset or jealous.

At least you tried to tell yourself that.

That didn’t stop it from hurting any less.

What really pissed you off, or rather who, was Tsuyu Asui.

She acts like she never hated him now.

Like she didn’t at one point look down on him or look at him disgustedly once, and he.

He goes along with it.

You’re not gonna lie, you used to love Tsu, and you keep telling yourself you do.

Only so you can keep up the facade that how he acts doesn’t affect you.

“Hey Y/n.” You’re shocked when he moves to sit next to you, opting to sit on the bench that you had plopped down on when the group of girls saw your famous pro hero boyfriend with you, and away from the group of girls still eyeing him. Including Tsuyu.

Yes. He’s a pro hero. Now back up please.

“Yes Mineta?” His eyebrows furrowed at that and you almost cringed when his hand falls onto your thigh.

Visible to anyone passing by.

“No. You always call me Minoru. Minoru or Sugar. So stick to it. Heh, see what I did there?-“ He’s interrupted by Tsu and the words that come out of her mouth make you want to vomit.

“Minoru, why don’t you come hangout with-“

“Yeah no. Only Y/n calls me Minoru. You’re not allowed. Call me Mineta like you always do. Now, as I was saying before you RUDELY interrupted me Asui. Did you get it..?” He looks at you eyes filled with a special shine and it’s then, how you remember you got with this little shit.

“Yes I got it.” You let your smile show and he fist bumps the air but afterwards, he quickly wraps his arms around your small frame.

Somehow he went from being 108cm (3’6”) to 179cm (5’10”) and you weren’t gonna lie and say you didn’t like it.

Especially when he leaned his chin on your head while holding you close to his chest. You really like that.

Even though you don’t want to,

but it’s not like you’d ever admit you absolutely positively love it.

That you absolutely positively love him.

No, that just isn’t ethical. You’d never tell him shit.

At least not to his face..

“Why were you mad at me?” You don’t know when he managed to pull you on his lap but his grip around you tightens and he shoves his face in your neck.

“You mean why am I mad at you currently?” His head shoots up from its spot in your neck and he turns your head with his hand quickly.

“What can I do Peach? How can I fix it? Can I fix it? Did I mess up bad? Are you gonna lea-“ his voice started to shake a bit but you cut him off quickly with a finger pressed to his lips.

God. We’re still on a public bench. This is embarrassing.

“It is something you can fix. However I don’t know if you’ll even be willing to listen to me when I say it, and no Minoru. I’m not going to leave you.”

“I will fix anything I can to make you happy. Now tell me what I can do please!” His grip around you somehow managed to tighten more and you have to tap his arms so he’ll loosen the crushing grip he has around your ribs and lungs.

Mostly so you can breathe but also because the poor guy doesn’t know his own strength now that he’s got it.

“You’re really flirty, and you know, I love it..” he nods and you took this as your opportunity to continue.

“But not when it’s towards other girls..” his eyes widened and he almost tightens his grip around you again but opts to grabbing your hand and peppering light kisses across it.

“I know you’re not meaning anything bad by it. It just kinda hurts.. especially with Tsu, she used to hate you and now just because you’re attractive according to societies standards everyone fucking loves you. Which don’t get me wrong. I get it. You’re fucking hot, but one, You were hot before and two, you’re mine and I want her and everybody else to realize that.” He nods and kisses your forehead while keeping a tight but comfortable grip around you.

“I’ll work on it Peach. I promise. I can’t have my dream girl feeling insecure after all, she’s the only one I want. The only one who’s cared for me no matter what I look like and how I’ve acted. After all I love you, I’d do anythi-“ you were listening intently, so when he said that and you choked, he was confused for two reasons.

But he couldn’t decide which one he was more confused about.

1. Did you really not know?

Or 2. Did you not believe him?

Or 3. Were you actually choking?

“Is that funny?” You shook your head quickly.

“No! I love you too! I just-“ he interrupts you before you can finish.

“Just what? Didn’t know..?” You looked away at that.

“Have I really been that bad at showing you how much you mean to me?” You didn’t say anything. Or move.

“Peach.. please be honest..” you nodded and it’s then that he sees the tears brimming in your eyes, and he goes back to his crushing bear hugs.

“Oh god. I’m so sorry! I’ll do so much better! I promise Peach! I’m gonna show you that I love you and only you. I don’t need the attention of anyone else. Just you. God I just need you with me, in my life. As a part of mine. I’m so sorry that I haven’t shown you that properly-“ his repeated rambling turns into tears welling up in his eyes now.

“Sugar, it’s okay you didn’t know. I wasn’t communicating with you. It’s not just on you, you didn’t know that what you were doing was making me uncomfortable because I didn’t bother to tell you. I didn’t want you to get mad at me for being jealous.” His eyes widened again.

“W-Why would I be mad..?” When you shrugged he nodded but kissed your cheek.

“I would never be mad at you for telling me how you feel. I’m a moron sometimes, and I know that I’m not the brightest crayon in the crayon box, but, you make me feel special everyday, knowing I haven’t been giving you that same feeling kills me. I’ll do better. I know I will, because I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Your cheeks burned as the girls behind you groaned and started to walk away.

“Minoru can we please go home. I love you but this is embarrassing..” He grins and uses one hang to grab your hip, and the other for under your thigh, holding them snugly as he stands up, and carries you as he walks.

“T-This is even worse!” He smiles when he feels your arms tighten around his neck.

“Well we’ll be home soon and then I can do even more embarrassing things Peach.” He whispers in your ear and leaves a short kiss on your jawline. Chucking when he hears you squeak and your grip tighten.

Yeah, you’re fucked when you get home.

Quite literally.

#my hero academia #mha x reader #mha fluff #class 1a #bnha minoru #bnha fluff

[derivativealigner]

I rewatched the second season of South Park and took so many notes that I had to split them into two parts. Like seriously, I took so. many. notes. And pictures this time. I started rewatching just in case I’d find some cool little facts to sprinkle into my fanfic but I went way too far and now there’s a million facts under this cut (including gay stan, a domestic violence psa, and craig fucking dying)

Stan doesn’t like hospitals, he finds them gross and he gets sick 🤮. Also the hospital in South Park is called Hell’s Pass hospital. Early seasons have the name as Hells Pass but it gets fixed later

Cartman has to sing all of Come Sailing Away by Styx if he hears a part of it. After he says this, Kyle sings the first part and Cartman has to sing the rest. Kyle does it again later, which is kinda mean

Cartman’s mom tries to abort Cartman, who is an eight-year-old child and thus cannot be legally aborted. Later, after she slept with Bill Clinton to change the law and make 40th trimester abortions legal, it turns out she meant adoption

Kenny sacrifices himself to turn on the generator to the hospital and save Dr. Mephesto’s life along with others. He says “I’ll fucking do it” then does it and dies, absolute legend

Cartman gets way too into his deputy role. He goes undercover, pretends to be a prostitute, says “Respect my authoritah!” a lot and beats people up with his police stick

Kenny’s brother first appears when Cartman responds to a call about a disturbance at Kenny’s house. Apparently there are like 10 adult family members in the house at that time. Kenny’s dad has a black eye because Kenny’s mom punched him. She says he can’t hold a job

Token sits in the classroom in season 2

Cartman starts hating hippies in this season, like a lot

Chef tells the boys that the right time to do drugs is in college

Ike’s name is Ike Moisha Broflovski and he was born in 1996, making him 2 years old in 1998 when this season aired

This is probably obvious but yeah Kyle and Ike are circumcised

Kyle says family isn’t just blood, it’s who you care about, and he says “That’s why you guys are more than just friends, you’re my family. Except for Cartman.”

Craig’s finally sitting in the classroom in S02E04

None of the boys like dodgeball

Clyde gets a dodgeball to the face and he cries :( and he’s the only one who cries by the way

Pip throws a dodgeball in Kyle’s face and breaks Kyle’s nose

When Kyle’s mom tells the boys about conjoined twin myslexia (which isn’t a real term) and says anyone might’ve absorbed their dead twin in the womb, Stan and Cartman run away screaming but Kenny and Kyle stay to listen. Kenny even leans in to look at the book “Freaks A-Z!” that Mrs. Broflovski is reading from, and when she leaves, Kyle grimaces and Kenny laughs

Stan’s mom (Sharon) calls Kyle’s mom (Sheila) when Stan is all freaked out and trying to put an icepick through his brain, and Sharon tells Sheila to get run over by a truck. Sharon is pretty mean in these early episodes

Mr. Broflovski doesn’t really listen to what Mrs. Broflovski is saying, bad husband >:(

South Park’s team is always called South Park Cows no matter the sport

The school nurse, Nurse Gollum, went to Colorado State University

I just realized Butters exists. I think he appeared before S02E05 but I didn’t notice but yeah he’s there with the dodgeball team, injured

Here’s a picture to make up for my disgusting anti-Butters bias

Kenny’s dodgeball uniform number is 69 obviously. Kyle is 7, Stan is 4, Cartman is 325

Sheila smacks Gerald in the face so hard he falls off his chair, lots of violence perpetrated by women in this show. Remember, don’t do domestic violence no matter your gender, it’s not cool

I realized after this whole Butters thing that I should’ve made more notes about Pip, so I’ll make a note about his anger issues now. When people call him French, he gets angry and throws dodgeballs at them

The boys launch a jelly roll at Ms. Crabtree and make her crash the bus. They do it just for fun

The kids somehow go to China in the school bus

Cartman references Moby Dick, but he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about

Kevin Stoley gets named in S02E05 and has his first speaking role when he says he has Chinese parents and after Cartman hears it he immediately says something racist. smh cartman, what a problematic fave

Cartman says “I love you guys 😊” but Stan and Kyle just stare at him and he goes 😐 “Eh, screw you guys 😠”

If Jimbo and Ned really fought in Vietnam, they youngest they could’ve been in 1998 is early forties, which means in the latest seasons they would be early sixties. Btw they met in Vietman

Jesus and Pals is a recurring TV show in seasons 1 and 2. Jesus just kind of lives in South Park

I just remembered that Terrance and Phillip are really old in canon, it’s so weird, like how can South Park canon still be changing, it’s been 20 years

Also the early seasons are casually racist who knew

Kenny flashes his ass on a tape the boys send to Jimbo and Ned’s TV show, which airs and at least 12 people see Kenny’s bare naked ass

Cartman really doesn’t like hippies in these early seasons. He throws a chair at Ned and yells, “Take that, hippie!” (Ned is in a catatonic state and did nothing to provoke this)

Jimbo and Ned live together I guess. Jimbo’s gonna take Ned home and show him some hardcore porn to snap him out of his catatonic state, good husband unlike Gerald Broflovski

Saddam Hussein is in hell and has a Canadian accent and is Satan’s lover in S02E06, I guess he died in Canada in the first episode this season but I wasn’t paying much attention since that’s the Terrance and Phillip episode that pissed a bunch of people off in 1998 because the audience wanted to know who Cartman’s dad is instead. It was kind of a boring episode so I understand why everyone was pissed, but it is funny that Matt and Trey did that so I’m not mad about it

Aww look at them!!! We’ve got background Style, the vaguest inkling of Crenny, and Cartman/Cake

I’d take more screenshots but it’s a pain since I’m watching legally and stupid legal websites block screenshots so I have to find youtube videos instead ughhhh piracy is the answer kids

Apparently there’s a huge waterfall and canyon somewhere close to South Park, maybe? At least in Stan’s dream

Mary Kay Bergman was an incredible voice actor. How the hell did she voice all the moms, Wendy, Shelly, principle Victoria, the mayor, Nurse Gollum, and fucking Ms. Crabtree??? Holy shit what a queen

Kenny has some feelings about death. He reimagines the episode where death boops him to death and in his version, he beats death the fuck up, then has ice cream and is happy 😊 But again, this is in Stan’s dream

S02E07 kind of establishes that nobody remembers Kenny dying because when Cartman tells a story where Kenny dies, Kyle questions how Kenny could’ve died then when he also died just a few hours ago when a giant monster took him

rip craig, he falls out the bus and into a canyon

But it’s okay because it was all Stan’s dream so everything in the episode is questionable. Everything after this is no longer a dream

Pip’s parents are dead and he has to go to summer school while everyone else is having a nice summer break

Officer Barbrady and the mayor are having sexual relations, I’m sure this is the most interesting note I’ve made so far. Idk I’m just writing everything down, this is how I enjoy things, I have no off switch

Ew summer bus stop, cursed

Kyle casually sings little tunes every once in a while, how cute

This is pretty obvious but Kenny likes dirty jokes, he laughs when Cartman innocently says he loves Chef’s salty chocolate balls (which are chocolate candy). Nobody else laughs

Cartman says “Screw you guys, I’m going home” or variations of it a lot in this season

So Stan throws up when he likes someone, right? Well, he’s watching an indie movie about two gay cowboys who start making out and he throws up, which is either a terrible homophobic joke or confirmation that Stan’s a little gay. I know which one I prefer

Kyle says Mr. Hankey is his best friend after Stan. Like I know it’s definitely canon that Stan and Kyle are best friends but it’s still nice to see confirmation, it’s very precious. Also Kyle is best friends with literal shit, so cute 😊

Kenny deaths:

S02E02 Kenny sacrifices himself by connecting a generator wire, which electrocutes him but brings power back to a hospital

S02E03 A tree falls on Kenny and crushes him

S02E04 Kenny falls in a grave and the gravestone falls on him

S02E05 The Chinese dodgeball team throws a ball at Kenny and he gets splattered against a wall

S02E06 Two guys pull on Kenny and tear him in half, as in one has the head and one has the legs

S02E07 A big scary monster plucks Kenny out of the school bus and carries him away. Also in Cartman’s fake memory of Fonzi jumping over cars, the motorcycle hits Kenny and crushes him against a brick wall. Kenny gets smashed against walls a lot, doesn’t he?

S02E08 Flashback: Baby Kenny has a firecracker and it explodes, sprinkling little baby Kenny parts everywhere. Later in the episode, current day Kenny dies when a giant firework snake bumps him off a stage and under a fence, which then crushes him.

S02E09 Kenny is playing with a yoyo outside a movie theatre when a bunch of people come outside and trample him to death. They say “Oh my God, I found a penny!” and “You bastard!”

I’ll post part 2 of season 2 in a couple days. I’m having way more fun writing these stupid notes than I thought I would (also gnomes is coming up soon and i am fucking ready for tweek)

#south park #sp rewatch #i thought i made way too many notes last time #oh boy #also sorry for my anti butters bias showing #i completely forgot to take notes about him until episode 5 #oops

[jewel-s-blog]

non-designated driver - s.jn

angst. y/nx(ex)boyfriend. fluff-y. y/nxjn 

warnings: possible underage drinking while under the influene and mentions cheating (because ya’ll know I live for angst--but don’t worry, we all know johnny could NEVER. so it’s not him)

a/n: aloha everyone! how has this month been for you? horrible? yea. same. but anyways, hopefully I’m about to make it a little better with this johnny drabble that I found tucked secretly away in my drive. it doesnt have a completed ending. plot is non-existent. and I don’t plan on making it a series. this is literally something that I woke up one day--specifically new year’s day--and was inspired to write for some reason (I blame my inability to recollect dreams as the cause for these random drabbles). and as always, us writers would KILL for some feedback, so yea. enjoy! xoxo jewel

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[11:49PM] 

“Did you drive here?” You frantically ask the guy who had half-heartedly tried to hit on you when you first walked into the house party an hour ago. He looks down at you while you gaze quickly back at the stairs you just ran down before looking back at the tall figure again.

“...yeah...I drove...why?” He replied, clearly surprised you were giving him any attention since his attempt to flirt with you earlier in the evening resulted in you shoving his arm off your shoulder and telling him that you already had a boyfriend.

But knowing that you needed to get out of there as soon as possible, you quickly raked your brain for a response that would have this guy driving you away from this frat party before the thing you so desperately needed to get away from came down the stairs. Looking for you. So you blurted out the first thing you figured would get the job done, 

“Wanna get out of here?” 

Pulling out your most flirtatious tricep rub and pretty head tilt caught the recipient of your efforts a bit off guard, but it wasn’t long before he caught on to your meaning. A little smirk lifted the fine corners of his mouth before clearing his throat and then bantering,

“What about that boyfriend of yours? You know, the whole reason you wouldn’t even look at me earlier?” He took a swig from his red solo cup* and peered down at you again through haughty eyes. Internally sighing at the fact that you had willingly decided to revisit a conversation with him, you told yourself that it was too late to do anything else now and that if you had any hope of fleeing soon, it could only be with this guy. 

So you sucked it up and said, “He’s irrelevant right now. So are we leaving or not?” 

He waited a beat, as if considering whether or not you were being serious, before saying, “Yeah, let’s go. I was thinking about leaving soon anyway. I’m parked just across the street,” he motioned with his alcohol-clad hand.

“Perfect,” you smiled at him. “I really need to get out of here.” That was all you said before making your way towards the front door, feeling the presence of your driver following just on your heels. You barely make it out onto the porch before you hear your name being called,

“Y/n!” 

Knowing whose mouth your name had just come out from, you kept walking. In fact, you walked even faster. The body that had been following you up until the porch paused to look back for a second when he heard the yell, but kept following when he noticed you hadn’t stopped. 

A small car across the street lights up momentarily, and your driver strides quickly past you, pointing out at it. He gets in first, while you walk around to get in on the passenger side. Just as you bend down to slide in, you hear your name being called out yet again, with it the appearance of your boyfriend pushing through the front door. 

With one hand on the car door, and one on the roof of the car, you feel the engine start up beneath your fingertips. And just as your driver tells you to get in, your boyfriend’s scanning eyes across the street meet yours for just a second. That seems to light a fire under your butt because next thing you know, you are clamoring in the little sedan and hitting the electric lock button.

“DRIVE.” The command slips out your mouth as you stare ahead. 

“Aren’t you gonna put on your seatb--”

His safety concern is interrupted by the sound of slapping on his window. Lo and behold, accompanying the slapping of his drivers’ window is the face of your boyfriend, eyes wide and frenzied. 

“GET OUT OF THE CAR Y/N.” Despite his voice being muffled by the plexiglass barrier, you hear it loud and clear, but stay still in the passenger seat. The view of your boyfriend’s face is then blocked by that of your driver. 

“You know this guy?” His brows furrow together.

“Ugh~~~, just drive already,” You whine. “Please?”, finally revealing a bit of the desperation that got you to this point. 

In the time you had taken to respond to your driver’s question, your boyfriend had come around to the passenger side and began his assault on the window there. Over and over you name was yelled out between slams on the window, and demands for you to “get out of the car” or “just let me explain.” 

Your driver however, was unsatisfied with the answer to his most recent question, and reinforced,

“No. I’m not driving anywhere until you tell me who this guy is.” His long arm reaches across you to point at your boyfriend. “DUDE, stop hitting my window man.” He directs at the male trapped outside.

“Well?” He looks back at you.

In one breath, you explain, “This guy is the boyfriend that I just caught cheating on me upstairs in that stupid party.”

At that, he pauses for a beat before he sits back in his seat and shifts the car into gear, “Good enough for me.” 

In seconds, the party and your now-ex are far behind you. And it is only then when it finally strikes you that you have willingly gotten into the car of a complete stranger who is driving to God-knows-where. 

Maybe he notices the shaking of your pupils, or the awkward fidgeting in the passenger seat, because when you reach the next traffic light, he lazily looks over at you and says, “You probably don’t remember, but my name is Johnny.” A little chuckle escaped his lips.

“I’m not a serial killer, or schizophrenic kidnapper--if  that’s what you’re thinking,” he jokes as he turns his head forward again. From that, you notice an adorable lisp that has become more noticeable than before, which leads you to begin staring at the perfect corners of his lips. In fact, there are a lot of things you didn’t notice before, such as how long he is, and how his chestnut hair is ridiculously well-maintained. 

But when the light turns green and the car doesn’t begin moving forward, you realize that he’s been watching you stare at him through the corners of his eyes the entire time, so quickly you look away. Red hot blood floods to your neck and cheeks, making it feel like it’s 98 degrees out. 

Johnny notices, but only chuckles before accelerating forward, and asking,

“So, where are we going now?”

-------------------------------------------------------------

*psa! do your best to not use plastic cups. if you're gonna have a good time, at least try to stay environmentally conscious while you’re at it ;) also, if you bring a reusable tumbler w/ a straw and lid, you lessen the risk of someone slipping something in your drink. I know it probably sounds lame, but I go to college in cali, and there are lots of girls who do this so you won’t be the only one. Either way, what’s more important? For me personally, im a lot more concerned about climate change and not getting drugged over maintaining my personal ‘coolness’ status to a bunch of other people who will be too smashed to even notice what im drinking out of

#nct #nct johnny #nct mark #jaehyun #taeyong #yuta #jungwoo #haechan #doyoung #taeil #winwin #nct127

[aphmau]

The Audience of My Channel

Okay, holy hell....

I wrote a freggin’ long history and now that I’m lookin’ through it... it’s a mess.

I’m going to TL;DR this who want the point but if you’re seriously concerned about this and want to understand the history then I recommend reading but understand this post is a mess of explanation but it’s worth the read IMO if you are interested in this history of my MC content and who it’s intended for.

TL;DR: My heavy story content isn’t aimed at kids/younger audience, if that was not evident from S4 alone then there is plenty of evidence from BEFORE and during Diaries days to support this. The heavy MCD implications also show I’m writing for that older audience who grew up with me. I’ve retained a lot of my audience from those days and know that young adults watch my stuff (hence a small reason for my lack of growth due to not conforming to kids content, you’ll see other MC YTers who convert to Roblox taking off in comparison) Some of my content can be found on the YT kids app and if you are a parent/guardian concerned about the heavy material I recommend using the YT kids app as it censors those seasons/episodes. It’s not 100% perfect but the kids who do watch me only know me for the content listed on the YT kids app. Most parents who let their kids have free roam of base YT are already aware of the lack of censorship from all sorts of YTers and have expressed they are aware of the material in my content and allow their kids to watch under their supervision and guidance. Who/What people watch on YT is up to them to decide. I rate my vids in the self rate system to be aimed at the demographic I’m writing for. 

OKAY THAT’S NOT TL;DR, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH. The rest goes into detail and is what I originally wrote if you want to understand my prospective. AGAIN IT’S EVERYWHERE.

Alright so I’m in the addressing mood, but let’s start this train with one thing at a time. Today I want to clear up a misconception that a lot of people tend to have about my channel. 

“Aphmau has a kid audience.”

To some extent, this IS true.  These days people naturally associate “Minecraft” with kid friendly content. Especially with YouTubes crack down on what is advertised to kids via search. (Which as a parent: thank you YouTube.)

To another extent, this IS false.

In the early pioneer days of MC a whole ton of adults were playing the game which promoted the popularity of it. These were also the days YouTube didn’t have heavy censorship so everything was free game. There were adults cursing and talking about sex during gameplay, having tiddies in the thumbnail, to adults playing MC drunk. Again totally the early days of both YT and MC. 

During this time a lot of the MC audience was mixed, both young and older. (I was in the older crowd; was watching Shadow of Israphel by the Yogscast at the time before my channel started) Eventually time passed and it was obvious that the game by itself appealed more to the younger demographic and it kept that audience. [I’ll get back to this point later].

Around the time I entered the MC scene it was the untamed wild west. Hell, I remember doing a Cops and Robbers video with Adam about being high the whole time. Around that time I was writing Diaries which had a lot of adult themes, war, topics, violence, death, [babe house, tho that’s not bad], sexual implications, blood, etc. etc. I also had side series going on that were more light hearted [Pixelmon, Mod Mod World, etc.] I also played games such as Saints Row, Hunie Pop, Dead Space, etc.

Again all this was in the untamed wild west of the internet. 

Fast forward to today, all of those youngins who consumed that content have now grown up. They are either finishing up High School or already in College or they have always been adults and are just older (and by that I mean they’re even more cooler now) Surprisingly a LOT of them have been with me from that long ago... and holy crap you guys... thank you for being with me for that long <3

Fast forward to today again, you’ll see MC and YT have been censored heavily.

If you want to be a successful MC YouTuber these days - You gotta make content aimed at kids to get on that YT kids app - and just let me say there’s nothing wrong with that at all! I’m all for peeps makin’ their content the way they want to for the audience they want to consume it. (always disliked when creators would belittle others for the kind of content they make)

Let me say this: Diaries and MyStreet [plus a few other series] have always had heavy adult themes in them. I have been watching my audience grow from the start and know who I am writing for since a lot of peeps who are watching the more intense series have aged with me. 

“But you have kids who consume your content!”

Yes, there are children who consume my content because it is on the Minecraft platform. You will also notice the most vocal peeps in the YT comment section/twitter/insta/etc. tend to be youngin’s who will shame you for liking a certain ship, hate you for your opinions, etc. [they are NOT ALL like that] Understand that these peeps (while I love and appreciate their support, wish they read my PSA’s and were a bit more understanding sometimes) are often in the minority of those who consume the more intense storylines/game play. Of course there are exceptions. Creators after YEARS of experience, data, and analytics will know who watches what content based on statistics and feedback. Some of our decisions are based on the analytics we receive and what people show they want in content by watching it.

Now, where are these “children who are watching my content” consuming it from? The YouTube Kids App. (GOD THIS ISN’T A PLUG BUT IT’S GONNA SOUND LIKE ONE BECAUSE I GET INTO PARENT THINGS, ALSO THIS IS RELEVANT TO WHO CONSUMES MY CONTENT SO IF YOU CARE ABOUT THIS TOPIC PLEASE BEAR WITH ME) 

As a parent, I use the YouTube kids app. The YouTube kids app has a LOT of options to make sure kids under the age of 13 are consuming the content their parents want them to watch. (But the age you can set goes all the way to like 20+ for some reason) There are two options: 

1.) [Younger] More restricted, meant for preschool kids and elementary school kids.

2.) [Older] For parents who think their kids are old enough to be less restricted and it even warns parents that there may be suggestive content, violence, etc. In this option.

There are a lot of kids consuming the more tamed versions of my content which they know me for. There are some children I meet at fan meets that don’t even know that certain episodes of Diaries or MS Season 4, 5, or 6 exist or that I even do RP’s. (They seem to like my content for Snipper Clips, Love Balls, MyCraft, etc.) I’m perfectly fine with the app gating off my mature content, rightfully so since it’s not meant for that demographic. With a lot of that being said I cannot control what is and is not seen on that app, but know that a lot of my mature content is off of it.

That being said, my writing is aimed at teens, young adults, and adults. 

The problem is people see MC as being “ONLY FOR KIDS! THIS IS A KIDS SHOW IF IT’S IN MINECRAFT!” which to me... as someone who has been using the platform since the Wild West days... to pretty much tell similar and just as harsh stories since then... is pretty much the equivalent of saying: “IF IT’S A DRAWN LIKE A CARTOON IT MUST BE FOR KIDS!” Or “VIDEO GAMES ARE MEANT FOR KIDS” (which are very ignorant statements because cartoons and games can be for adults)

Again the problem lies in the fact that I’m still using MC as a platform to tell stories. And really, that’s not a problem since I know where my content is being consumed, I know who consumes it, and I know who I am writing for. 

The kids app exists for parents who are active in their child’s lives and make sure my content is what their kids want to consume and I use that as a barrier to entry for younger kids who don’t get the themes in my mature content. 

The people who have grown up with me and know the adult themes in my story often times don’t want to admit to their friends that they watch Minecraft because of the stigma that comes with that statement and often times won’t participate in the community. Btw, side note: For those that are vocal I sincerely appreciate you who have been around forever and help grow the community.

[ADDITIONAL UNIMPORTANT NOTE: We actually did a test run to see if our audience was younger than we thought. I tried doing a ROBLOX RP to see if maybe our demographic was there instead of MC. (...Also I wanted to make something for our kids to watch.) It turned out the feedback from the audience was so overwhelmingly negative on it because peeps didn’t want to see the channel turn into a “kids channel” with kid directed content]

But again... the problem is the stigma that comes with using MC as a storytelling device. A lot of YTers bowed out of MC because they felt they no longer had the creative freedom they once had before censorship happened. Which if I had been completely kid friendly from the beginning I could see where the problem is, however this is not the case and adult themes (be they subtle or not) have always been there.

My content is for those who want to consume it on the main YT site/app. Anyone under the age of 13 SHOULD be using the YT kids app, but that is in their parents hands to decide what is appropriate for their kids. I advise fellow parents when they ask me in person to make sure my content is for their kid(s) and to have open discussions about the topics at hand if they decide to allow their kids to consume my content. I understand parents cannot be there 24/7 but they should not entrust media to be the core source of conversation for a mind that’s still growing and needs a parent/guardians guidance.

I will continue to use MC as a platform and the YT self rating system to make sure my content gets pushed to the right outlets, I cannot monitor who sees my content. Eventually I’d like to move to another story telling platform OR modify MC so it doesn’t look like MC anymore but rather something that looks similar to the unity engine. (We tried this with Ultra Nova but didn’t have people who cared about the project enough to help with it. Jason ended up doing the modeling and it didn’t come out like we had hoped) Jason and I would love to get into animation (2D/3D), but that is not possible at the moment, however we are working on that and maybe later FAR down the line you’ll see that! (you can see with S6 we’re getting a feel for it! Animation ain’t just there for show it’s for prepping for the future)

I will do my best to open up more about my creative choices. 

I understand some peeps are upset about the Ein/Aphmau thing and I plan on addressing that (maybe in another blog post later this week but it might just say what I’m about to say). Peeps tend to get riled up as soon as something negative happens and are on “attack mode” which leads to provocation and just a whole mess of emotions coming from both sides. But since I’m trying to be more open right now I’ll give it my best shot to address it later. For now to give a brief summary: not all stories/characters are 100% planned. My writing for stories years ago was not written knowing exactly where the characters would be year(s) later. Again a topic to get into depth for another time. I know there are peeps out there who won’t listen and will probably see everything I say as an excuse. But hey, I’m gonna open up and if they want to believe me or not is up to them. I understand why they’re upset and I value and respect their opinions, but implying someone’s absolute moral beliefs on a taboo subject through a fictional story is just odd. I think my girl Michaela best sums that up in this post. 

My responsibility as a creator is to create. I do take responsibility in who sees my content through the systems that are set in place for that. But there is also a responsibility in the viewer to know the type of content they’re consuming. In the future maybe I’ll add in self ratings since that isn’t completely and transparently done through YT. 

Whew, I hope that sums things up or at least gives an answer to a few things.

Sorry for being all over the place with that post, let me know if you want me to convey anything in better detail for this topic. I’ll address other topics mentioned in here when I have a moment, thanks again for your time! <3 (appreciate if you took the time to make it this far!)

#Let'sTalk #aphmau

[whydontwe-fanfics]

Vegan (J.M)

Description: When hearing Jonah and the guys mock your life choices, you try a change, but your body doesn't respond so well to it.

Request: could you possibly write one where y/n is a vegan and she hears the boys, including her bf (Jonah), making fun of her behind her back and she attempts to eat meat to try to fit in one night but ends up throwing up and getting really sick and you can go off from there

Warning(s): mockery of vegan lifestyles, swearing, the boys being assholes, angst

PSA: keep in mind this is fiction, I don't know the boys personally, but they're not actual assholes

Word Count: 2.5k

---

You were always a vegan, since day one. Literally. Both of your parents have raised you in a vegan lifestyle since you were born.

You were ten when you had your first taste of actual bacon. Your friends went crazy when they found you've never had pork before and when invited to one of their homes, they peer pressured you into trying it, telling you that you'd love it and your parents would never have to know. So you did it.

And it was disgusting. You remember pretending to like it for the sake of your friends, but the chewy fat in your mouth felt foreign and inedible.

You went home crying that day, admitting to your parents' that you had eaten bacon within seconds of walking through the front door. Of course, you weren't punished and your parents wouldn't admit it until years later but they found the entire situation humorous.

Eight years later, and you haven't eaten a single slice of meat since. Your fifteen-year-old brother had given up being a vegan four years prior, but you quite liked the foods you ate.

Many people tend not to get it, which could be a pain when they repeatedly ask if you've ever eaten steak, chicken, duck, etc.

But Jonah had always understood it. Or so you thought.

"What the hell are vegan oatmeal cookies?" Zach asks as he pulls out a pack of said cookies from the cabinet.

"Exactly what they say," Daniel replies.

"I mean what the hell is in it? And who eats this crap?" He puts the pack back into the pantry before reaching for the Chips-Ahoys.

"Vegan stuff," Jonah shrugs. "I don't know, Y/N likes them."

"I forgot she was a vegan," Jack hums.

"You'd think she'd tell us with every breath," Zach says and the guys all let out small laughs at the overused joke.

"So what does she eat?" Corbyn asks.

"Vegan food, I don't fucking know," Jonah rolls his shoulders.

"Is she an 'I heart animals' vegan or an 'my body is a temple' vegan?" Zach rolls his eyes.

"Pretty sure both," Jonah laughs.

You stood in the hallway with your back to the wall, your arms crossed over your chest as you eavesdrop on the mockery going on in the kitchen. You feel your face heat up as you overhear the guys make fun of you, your own boyfriend apart of the teasing.

"I know plenty of healthy people who are healthy and aren't vegan," Corbyn mentions.

"Vegans just like the title," Jonah laughs and your frown deepens. Why was he saying all of this? Was this what he really thought all along? "It's very inconvenient, too."

"I couldn't imagine going to the market with a vegan," Corbyn further teases, making you feel even more self-conscious.

"How do people go without eating meat? I don't get it," Jack scratches his head.

"By simply not eating meat?" Daniel sarcastically replied. "It's her life choice, leave Y/N alone."

If anything you were shocked Daniel was the only one who defended you. You didn't want to cry, but you felt so embarrassed it was upsetting.

With watery eyes, you push yourself off of the wall and hurry back to Jonah's room, closing the door behind you and sitting on the edge of his bed with a heavy exhale.

You glance to the dried fruit on his desk that you had just been snacking on. With a huff you storm over and throw the bag away, turning your back to it just as Jonah walked through the door.

"Hey, we're leaving in a few minutes," he says, reaching for his sneakers before looking up at you and furrowing his eyebrows. "What's wrong? Were you crying?"

"Yeah-uhm, I hit my knee on the desk," you easily lie. "Just teared up."

"You alright?" He walks your way and kneels down to inspect your bare knee. You turn away quickly and head for your phone on the nightstand.

"I'm fine," you shrug. "Where are we going?"

"Some diner downtown," Jonah began to pull his shoes on while he stayed kneeling. "I checked, they have vegan choices."

You nearly wince at the mention, feeling small goosebumps rise on your skin. Was finding a place always a hassle because of you? Is this why he doesn't like you being a vegan? Is this what he meant when saying you weren't very convenient.

"Oh, thanks," you murmur, sliding your phone into your pocket.

"You sure you're alright? Anything bothering you?" He stands back up and wraps his arms around your waist from behind, pulling your back against his chest.

"I'm fine, Jonah," you fake a smile and squirm out of his grip before turning to face him. "Just hungry."

His furrowed eyebrows don't rest, but he inevitably complies and takes your hand in his.

As he leads you downstairs, you feel uneasiness poke at your ribs. You knew the guys didn't know you had heard them, but knowing that they had all been so rude about your decisions was embarrassing and unsettling. You grew to think that they didn't like or respect you.

"You guys heading out?" Jack asks once you guys get downstairs. You divert your eyes from him and shift uncomfortably as Jonah unlaced your hands and wraps that arm around your shoulder.

"Yeah, we'll be back in a bit," he declares.

The entire ride there, only one thought consumed your mind - Would it be too late to change? Maybe the first few bites won't taste good, but that's food being food and taste buds reacting. After a while, you'll get the hang of it and will be eating normal foods in a jiffy.

You grew determined in that thirty-minute ride, telling yourself that you'd just have to trick your mouth into enjoying the taste of pork chops or beef jerky. It couldn't be that hard?

"You've been real quiet back there, Babe," Jonah grasps your attention and you make temporary eye contact.

"Just tired," you shrug. "Could you drop me home after this?"

"Yeah, sure," he slightly frowned before looking back at the road.

You shift in your seat and nibble at your bottom lip as you pull into the parking lot of said restaurant.

"C'mere," Jonah pulled you into his arms right after you got out of the car, his chin resting on your head. "You're going to tell me what's wrong after we eat, okay?"

"There's nothing wrong, Jonah," you deny.

"Y/N," he sternly says. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I won't judge."

How ironic.

You find yourself scoffing on the inside as you pull away from him.

"Let's just go eat," you grumble, walking ahead and away, leaving him confused. He reluctantly follows you into the restaurant.

Your eyes rake the menu, a blanket of discomfort on you because now you're aware that Jonah will judge whatever you decide to put into your body.

When the waiter came around, you had decided not to get anything, claiming that you weren't hungry. When Jonah's food came, you just got a water.

"What if we order you something and you just take it home for later?" Jonah asks, pestering you about your decision on not choosing any of the food.

"I'm good, really," you assure him. "And if I'm hungry later, I'll just order something from post mates."

Jonah eyes you for a few seconds before shaking his head and turning back to the bacon burger and fries on his plate. Your stomach churned at the thought of eating that yourself as you eyed the meal down.

"You want a bite?" Jonah jokes, noticing your stare. You glance up at him with wide eyes.

"Really?"

"I was joking."

You furrow your eyebrows and glance back at his burger before grabbing a knife and cutting 1/3 of the patty.

He stares at you with genuine confusion as you bring the food to your lips and take a bite out of it hastily.

"Y/N, what the hell?" Jonah frowns. "You told me what happened last time you had bacon." He takes the remaining piece of burger out of your hand and places it on his plate. "Why would you do that?"

You don't pay much attention to his words as you feel the flavor of the meat fill your mouth, your jaw repeatedly moving because of how chewy the food was.

You tilt your head to the side at the taste. It wasn't nearly as bad as you had remembered, but it still was unusual.

"I just wanted to try it," you say as the mushiness finally goes down your throat.

Jonah eyed you down for a few seconds.

"What?"

"Was it good?"

"It wasn't that bad," you shrug. "Just not used to that kind of texture."

"So you liked it?"

"No, not at all," you find yourself saying honestly. "But I could get used to it." You grab the remaining piece back from Jonah's plate and put it into your mouth, slightly grimacing.

"Don't force yourself to eat it."

"I'm not," you detest.

"Yes, you are," he argues.

"No, I'm not, Jonah, for Christ's sake," you can't help but snap. A sigh leaves your mouth as you turn your attention to your phone, ignoring his confusion-filled eyes.

It didn't take long for his to request for a styrofoam box and the check, meaning he was ready and so were you.

You both silently head to his car and the tension doesn't die when he begins driving.

It's nearly six minutes after you guys have left the restaurant when Jonah decided to speak up.

"You gonna finally tell me what the hell is up or are you gonna just keep ignoring me?"

You roll your eyes just as a feeling of nausea passed over you.

"Hello?" He calls.

You place your hands on your stomach at the feeling of contents moving around unusually.

"Pull over," you mutter.

"What? No-"

"Just pull over!" You nearly yell and he swerved to the side of the deserted road. You quickly opened the door and rushed out of the car, placing both hands on your knees and throwing up on the side of the street.

Jonah grows himself out of the driver's seat and rushes to your aid, pulling your hair back and rubbing your back.

"Shit," he murmurs as your vomit falls from your mouth on three different occasions, small pauses between the vile feeling. Your eyes watered when it was finally over and you heaved, wiping your mouth with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. "Babe-"

"I just want to go home," you nearly whimpered and his heart fell.

"C'mon," he says in a hushed tone, leading you back into the car and kneeling beside you after you sit down. He places his palm on one side of your face, the frown on his face never subsiding. "It was the meat, wasn't it?"

You merely shrug, not looking him in the eye as the sick feeling doesn't disperse.

"Y/N, why'd you eat it when you knew this would happen?"

"I just wanted to be normal," you finally murmur.

"What? You are normal," he says incredulously. "Why wouldn't you be normal!"

"Because me being a vegan isn't convenient," you huff, finally making eye contact with him. He still looks confused for a brief moment before realization washed over him, his eyes widening.

"Why-why would you say that?"

"Why would you say that?" Your voice cracks. "Is me being a vegan that bad for you?"

"No, no it isn't. It never has," he shakes his head. "I don't know why I said that; I was caught up in the moment with the guys and-"

"You didn't defend me," you felt a tear fall and instantly reached up to wipe it away just before another one was released. "Daniel's the only one who stood up for me while my boyfriend was making fun of me."

"I'm sorry," his face fell. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know how bad it was," he gestured to the vile contents on the side of the road.

"It was embarrassing enough being made fun of by the guys, but you? I would've thought you out of everyone there wouldn't join along," you frown.

"You have no idea how sorry I am," he whispers. "I was- I am a jerk, I shouldn't have said any of those things, I didn't mean it."

"It sounded like you did," you protest but he shakes his head.

"Y/N, I love you and your vegan choices."

"I don't want you lying to me."

"I'm not lying," he deadpanned. "Earlier, everything I said was because I was being an asshole and in the moment I thought more of the laughs than your feelings whether I didn't know you had been listening or not."

You remain quiet, closing your eyes as the sickness built up in your stomach, causing you to grasp at your torso in discomfort. Jonah's face fell and he let out a small sigh.

"The guys are going to apologize to you and I'll do it a hundred more times if I have to," he declares. "Just never do something that would hurt you just because of what I or anyone else says... Is that why you were crying earlier?”

"I thought I could grow used to change and show you guys-" you heave, cutting yourself off.

"You don't need to change because we're jerks," he sighed. "I'm sorry that you had to hear that, God, Y/N, I really am."

You merely nod, not opening your mouth because you feel that the second you do, the urge to hurl will increase.

"I'll take you back to your place so you can rest," he finally concludes, changing his mind. "But I'm not leaving until you feel better."

---

i would not have forgiven him so easily, but for the sake of keeping the word count under 3k and happy endings, here you go!! // also didn't know how to end it so the last paragraph is halfassed

---

Masterlist | Talk to Me

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Tag List: @maddie-leighhh @my-otpkilledme @heyowdw @duh-danii @thefangirlingmaster @lyssaholic @prettylittlesheerio @jackaverysboo @lilheavfuhyobih @babyybesson  @guadalupeguac  @sunshineavery  @melodramonica @jackaverybabe @lovableherron @adoring-avery @deni-gonzalez @ciariamarie27

#why don't we #why dont we music #why dont we band #why don't we music #why don't we imagines #why don't we fanfiction #why don't we imagine #why don't we one shot #why don't we one shots #why don't we oneshot #why don't we oneshots #jonah marais #jonah marais imagines #jonah marais imagine #jonah marais fanfiction #jonah marais x reader #jonah marais roth frantzich #zach herron #zach herron imagine #zach herron imagines #zach herron x reader #zach herron fanfiction #angst #jack avery #jack avery imagine #jack avery x reader #jack avery fanfiction #jack avery imagines #daniel seavey #daniel seavey imagines

[purghhappenings]

Ah. Sorry to bother you but I'm having a bbd so can I have some hcs about Zoro? Fluff with a touch of angst or just straight up fluff? (I still love that this is a thing now. It makes me so happy people have a new term to explain this and it makes me happy that it makes them happy and maybe helps)

I usually don’t like to skip ahead to different asks, but I know what a BBD feels like so I would be more than happy to give you some HC’s about Zoro, but I’m going to do a bunch of fluff 

I am also really happy the BBD took off, because like all things our brains sometimes don’t feel so good and on those day(s) it’s so good to acknowledge that you’re having a bad day, and to do things that are going to make you feel better, even if it’s just brushing your teeth or buying that thing you’ve been wanting to buy

I don’t mean to get so deep before HC’s but mental health is not a matter to put aside and though it’s difficult if everyone put their mental health first, after a while we’d all be a bit more healthy 

Also, I believe you sent the next ask so I’m gonna make a general PSA now, every time I get an ask I try to answer it that day or right then and there if I have a chance, but like this past weekend I was out of state, without my laptop, and up from 7 A.M. and not back from whatever we were doing until like 8 or 9 and just completely exhausted so I couldn’t do as much blog stuff as I’d likeSo yes, I was very busy, but I run this blog for fun and in my free time and I love to do it so I will never be too busy to answer something at all. I am never too busy to talk. It may take a while but I will answer and I will chat.

So without further ado…… FLUFFY ZORO HCS FOR THE BBD

Zoro is a giant dork as we all know, but it’s actually worse

It’s canon he gets lost on the sunny, and isn’t good at many puzzles(he’s great at battle strategies tho) but you can see this giant dork playing hide n go seek with his fellow crew mates when they demand him too, and you can also see him attempt puzzles with robin, marco, or chopper

He’s (i hc him at least) as the first mate, so he feels it in his job to know the crew almost better than the doctor

He knows Robin doesn’t really like red peppers and she totally knows sanji would make an entire separate dish for her if she said something(which isn’t necessary for her btw) so Zoro will start little arguments with sanji so he doesn’t see her pick the peppers out and give them to Nami(who loves peppers)

He is the person that puts blankets on sleeping crew members and even carries them to their bunk/bed

Since he’s only of the monster trio, if sanji is in the kitchen and luffy is elsewhere, he makes it a point to be out on deck to not only make his crew feel safer but to deter other ships from attacking because they see him

He is 100% always down to fight for crew members and it’s not fantastic ok they love it but zoro babe, hun, chill

He fought for Marco once(he could have taken them but was eh about fighting runts) but dudes said “that’s why you’re the only one left” something to that effect

and even Usopp stood up ready to square up(Mihawk and Shanks were on standby cause it was about to get bloody) and Zoro and Nami just decked the two dudes in complete synchronization and didn’t say a fucking word and Mihawk actaully fucking clapped 

Zoro and Nami are absolutely the body guards, and Mihawk feels like Nami is somehow another daughter?? But less stabby and more punchy than his other two

 Zoro and Nami speak with their eyes and it’s honestly terrifying like they’re BFF’s from hell

Zoro has the physical strength to wrap you up in a blanket and hold you and he will not hesitate to do so

He likes to braid hair and use his hands(he’s a swordsman) so you can see him doing that to all crew membersUsopp absolutely loves him because Robin and Nami usually help each other, and he’s fine to do it on his own but it is so much better to have someone else

Zoro takes an interest in the crew and their passions, because how else do you form trust? He takes a few cooking lessons from sanjiZ: What if we split up and I need to cook? I know Im useless with directions but I have to pull my own weight

He takes a few lessons from Luffy on how to identify plant life on mountains and how to track animals the old fashioned way

Franky teaches him a bit about building, and Robin teaches him about finding information brokers in cities

Nami teaches him the basics about finding people 

Chopper gives him first aid training

And it really helps because Nami can go to him and use her jargon and he gets it and Chopper can ask him to grab stuff and he knows what that is

Zoro watches his crew members, when you think he’s taking a nap, he has his eye on everyoneWhen he’s fighting enemies he has a general idea of where to go nextWhen he’s on watch he knows where everyone is still

Zoro is like a giant big brother that is not afraid to throw down, or cry with you

So anon, as a final gift I think Zoro would tell you that it is going to be okay, and it’s hard work to be okay after a BBD and fixing the way you think but he’d tell you to be nice to yourself, and reach out to anyone you can because BBD are impossible without help from someone.

I hope you like these, and I think on my blog I have another post regarding them

These are fluffy ZoLu HCs(I didn’t write specific Zoro hcs unfortunately) 

I really hope you feel better Anon, I know how bad those days are and just remember, you are worth everything, you are always doing your best, and it is okay to not be okay

Feel better!!!! I hope you enjoy these hcs!

#roronoa zoro hcs #roronoa zoro #fluff hcs #one piece #anon ask #I'm still gonna do the other asks i promise #this one seemed to take precedent bc of bbd #and I wanted to tell everyone i'm never too busy #and to love yourselves #if you got to write it on your arm every day do it #if you need to set an alarm everyday do it #never forget you are loved #monkey d. luffy #nami #sanji #usopp #tony tony chopper #nico robin #cyborg franky #soul king brook #jimbei #Marco the Phoenix #carrot

[prabbling-blog]

... And Action! (Bill Skarsgard X Reader)

anonymous requested: Oi ! i really like ur writings and was wondering if you do bill skarsgard/pennywise stuff ? if you do can you write a oneshot where Y/N plays the older sister (like shes in her twenties or smth) of beverly and pennywise kills her ? but Bill Skarsgard (he plays Pennywise) has a thing for Y/N and really hopes to impress her but it kinda goes wrong in someway ? idek but it’s been a idea i’ve had for ages ! thankss !  

Warnings: Spoilers -? Maybe? IT is a horror movie so, murder and choking. Also brief brief brief topics of vomit.

Word Count: 1880

A/N: I’m fully aware this is one shot is a bit bizarre and definitely a specific niche (not one that I share necessarily) but I feel like I need to preface this by saying this is simply just for fun. PSA Bev Marsh doesn’t have an older sister Y/N’s role is purely for this work

Ever since Y/N got the call telling her she, Y/N L/N, was to play the part of Laura Marsh, her stomach still hasn’t unfolded itself. It was still all balled up in the pit of her lower abdomen, like she could hurl at any time. It had been there through the three months of filming they had done and she concluded that it would probably never leave.

Her character didn’t play much of a part in the loser’s club, but Y/N’s character was given her own story in the film. She was Laura Marsh, the real town ‘slut’  even though she often used her little sister Bev as a scapegoat. She hung out with Patrick Hocksetter and Henry Bower, and was usually one of Bev and the loser’s tormentors. Laura was a bitch by all standards of convention, even Y/N could admit, which was her death scene was supposed to be simultaneously terrifying and reliving.  

Y/N watched as the loser’s from her black chair as they played hand games and laughed together on the pavement. The blacktop was so hot! She thought, how the hell did they stand it? Y/N technically had only stopped being a kid three years ago (she was 21 now) but she still could never remember a time where she was so uncaring.

“Do ya’ know when they're gonna start already? Jesus lets just get on with the scene already!” The slightly squeaky voice of Nicholas Hamilton (Henry Bowers) abruptly asked beside her. Three months ago she would've jumped, but now she didn't even think about it. She heard a chair scraping against the ground and it groaned with the weight of Nick’s body. She turned and smiled at him, placing her thick and annotated script onto her lap. He was wearing an orange wife beater tanktop and Y/N could see redness on his shoulders beginning to form.

“Whoa I die in this scene! You want me gone that much, huh?” Y/N asked, feigning hurt as she chuckled lightly. It was the most unfortunate death for poor Laura Marsh, first she was kissed and then left by her boyfriend (which just so happened to be Henry Bowers) in the sewers of all places, then she was brutally ripped apart by a clown wearing his face. Y/N knew that the younger actor was anxious for his first on-screen make out (he had told her so time and time again) but she hoped the playful conversation would calm his nerves.  

Y/N was nervous too but for a different reason entirely. She was an experience actress, she had crossed all the necessary rights of passage, yet she was so nervous. Y/N had talked to Bill Skarsgard twice and she couldn’t shake her stupid, girlish crush. She hardly knew the guy for fuck’s sake! She had wanted so much to come from this movie, It was her first big production movie, but now she was most certainly gonna screw up. How the hell could she pretend to be terrified of the guy when she was secretly thinking ‘I want you to rub my mouth on your mouth’?

“No! No!” Nick assured, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s not the death I’m looking forward to,” he whispered under his breath not so subtly. A few moments of hot silence followed before he reached over and grabbed the script from Y/N’s lap. He lazily fanned himself with it boyishly.

“You’ve got another coupla scenes after this so it’s not like you’re not going anywhere!” He joked as he tried in vain to cool himself off. His voice was shaking slightly and his laughs were constrained, like he wasn’t breathing in enough. Y/N cocked her eyebrow and waited for a few seconds before she made a lunge for her script. She, of course, missed it and hit her elbow on the wooden arm rest of his chair.

“C’mon why do you carry this thing anyhow? Everyone knows you memorized this thing cover to cover the instant you got it.” Nick teased stretching his arm away from Y/N as he peered at all of her highlights and somewhat embarrassing notes.

Y/N tried to crack a smile, but it was true, she did take it everywhere. How could she not? How else could she ensure she’d pull through? Besides was it so wrong for her to make sure everything went perfectly?

Nevertheless, she was beginning to suspect that Nick knew something that he shouldn’t, that sneaky little son of a bitch. She was about to reply with a typical snarky remark but she was interrupted by Andy (the director) shouting, “Y/N, Nick, and Bill - Scene 6 please!” Her heart sank as her body began to move without her brain’s consent. Nick had already jumped up and ran over to Andy enthusiastically. Meanwhile, Y/N’s thighs peeled up from her chair and she awkwardly waddled over to join them.

Andy took one glance at her before waving a makeup artist down and whispering in her ear. How ironic that this makeup artist looked like a scary clown herself, what with all that highlighter. The girl took a dry rag and began to dab Y/N’s face a bit, before she was pulled onto set by someone’s face she didn’t even get to see.

Nick grabbed Y/N’s hand and lightly guided her into position, awaiting Andy to shout “Action!” Y/N could still see the kids offscreen playing their hand games, but now one of them had begun throwing little balls of mud.  

“Alright! Is everyone in position?!” Andy asked looking around as if he were waiting for someone to point out a problem. He nodding to the man holding the slate, before loudly shouting “AND ACTION!”

Nick immediately pushed Y/N’s hips up against the walls of the sewers and she giggled obnoxiously. His lips roughly greeted hers in a strained, but very teenager, kiss. The kiss lasted only for a couple of seconds before he pulled away and wiped his mouth, following the script to a tee.

“You’re getting better.” He commented rudely and went back to give her another kiss. But Y/N’s character, Laura pushed his chest back, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Henry?” Y/N made sure to smack her lips together, to cock her head, and roll her eyes.

“It means that I thought sluts like you were supposedta’ be good at kissin’. But I guess sluts aren’t really known for their kissin’ anyways.” Again, Nick went in for a kiss, but Y/N pushed him back and feigned disbelief.  

Only open your mouth slightly, stop cocking your head, frown, stare, make your eyes water Y/N went through exactly what she had to do in the mirror time and time again, perfecting every part of her express- Crap, lower your chin and …. cry!

Nick glanced at her, though by now her character was balling. “You’re a fucking crazy bitch. You know that right? How much do you charge again?” He asked so sourly the words curdled in his mouth.

“Just get the fuck outta here!” Y/N yelled and she could see, out of her peripheral vision, Andy mouthing along to the words. Nick smirked evilly, before exiting the set and giving her an encouraging off screen thumbs up. Y/N slumped down and cried pathetically, just as it was written. But eventually she stood and stumbled around in the sewers, crying all the way. She could feel the presence of the camera over her shoulder as it followed her like a ghost. Abruptly, the sound of demonic laughter reverberated around the metal of the sewer hitting Y/N’s ears. Bill was too good at that. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand. Her character stopped walking and wiped her nose with the back of her cranberry colored sweatshirt.

A floating red balloon bobbed through the air as it came softly down to where Y/N was standing. It bobbed so peacefully (like the script had said), so her character tried to reach out to get it like a  young child. Perhaps poor slut Laura Marsh needed comfort too, Y/N pondered.

“AND PENNYWISE GO!” Andy shouted, marking where CGI would be used to create a horrifying, deformed hell version of Bill’s beautiful face. Y/N jumped and let out a throaty, raspy scream, the same scream she was hired for. She felt cold hands on her sweatshirt before she saw Bill, but once she did she couldn’t help to scream again. It was nightmarish, with his enlarged forehead and pointed smile.

The clown pinned Y/N up against the wall, which would’ve actually choked her if it had not been for the slight incline that let her tiptoes hang on. She gasped and sputtered, still crying and struggling pathetically. “HO HO HEHEHE!” The clown laughed in her ear and the sound shocked her so much that Y/N lost her footing, her toes couldn’t get a grip on the wet floor of the sewer. Bill was already so much taller than her at 6’4” that in order to deliver the lines properly, he had begun brought her up to his face. She gripped tightly onto his gloved hands as she coughed and began to feel a bit light headed as he continued to laugh maniacally.

Just kill me already! Y/N painfully thought, she would hate to be the reason for the failed take. But Pennywise, or Bill, never seemed to talk fast enough and Y/N was really beginning to feel the effects as she tried desperately to gulp in air.

“I - I,” Wheeze. “C-c-can’t-t,” Wheeze.  

Immediately like a switch had been pulled, she felt the pressure on her throat release as she fell to the ground into the disgusting water. She gulped in sweet air like she had never breathed before and Andy, god bless him, finally shouted “Cut!”

“Y/N! Are you alright!? I really didn’t mean to! I mean I thought maybe - but - I’m so sorry!” Pennywi- Bill shouted, helping her up by placing his hand on the small of her back. It was so odd hearing him be so gentle and polite while wearing such a terrifying costume. His eyes, which five seconds ago where full of such rage, now were softened and sad. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice,” Bill said exasperatedly and guided her over to where Andy sat, all the while she was still breathing in and out deeply.

“Y/N! Y/N! What happened!” Y/N heard the voices of the child actors as they ran over to inspect the situation.

“It was the heat you dufas!” One of the kids proclaimed obviously, as they patted her shoulder. But all Y/N could focus on was the sound of her heart beating as she panted heavily.

“I’m …  fine guys.” Y/N confirmed as she rubbed her neck tenderly. Now that she finally had air in her lungs, the pain of where Bill’s fingers had wrapped around her throat set in.

“I’m so sorry,” Bill repeated as he tried to give her kindest smile he could, buck tooth, blood drenched and everything.

#bill skarsgard #billskarsgard #bill skarsgard x reader #bill skarsgård imagine #pennywise #pennywise x reader #it #it movie 2017 #it movie spoilers #pennywisethedancingclown #roman godfrey #romangodfrey #roman godfrey x reader #roman godfrey x reader imagine #bill skarsgard imagine reader #bill skarsgard x reader imagine #bill skarsgard smut #bill skarsgard x reader smut #pennywise smut #pennywise x reader smut #roman godfrey smut #roman godfrey x reader smut #imagine #oneshot #itimagine #smut #hemlock grove

[shaykeijser]

riverdale 2x19

here are my thoughts/reactions to this weeks episode of riverdale. this wasn't requested but i posted one for another episode and it got a lot of notes (for me) so i'll do another one. this obviously will be including spoilers so i'm don't read under the cut if you haven't seen it/don't want to see spoilers! i've already seen this so they aren't technically 'first thoughts', but these were my thoughts when it happened. psa: i'm not a fan of jughead and betty. like at all. and sometimes archie. so if you're a die hard stan, who'll send me angry messages - feel free to because i love discussions!

- don't get me wrong i'm sad midge died but like...what made s1 good was the murder mystery plot. they 'solved' the black hood murders (if you think/thought svensen was the black hood then you're dumb sorry) way too fast which is one of the reasons why s2 is eh - are singing numbers gonna be a regular thing since the musical episode? i'm not mad but i'm just curious - lmao kevin being jealous of reggie comforting moose is a mood - also, i don't think moose killed midge or is the black hood, but it's gonna be so dumb if they don't consider him a suspect - especially since what he yelled before she was killed that was most likely a reaction to that weird fangs scene - we been knew (is that the phrase) that ethel sent them - why the fuck you lyin? @ moose - seriously tho moose the truth is gonna come out that you yelled whatever you said (i'm too lazy to figure out what it was directly) so you might as well own up to it now - AM I GOING CRAZY OR SOMETHIING BUT DIDN'T ARCHIE FUCKING SEE THE BLACK HOOD? WHEN HE WALKED INTO THE LOBBY OF THE PEMBROOKE AND SAW HIM BEATING THAT DUDE UP AND RAN AFTER HIM AND LOOKED INTO HIS EYES!?!?! WHY ISN'T HE TELLING ANYONE THIS ASJFJOA - "he was wearing a black hood" bItcH listen i believe that for whatever reason svenson was trying to act like he's the black hood but the fact that he was wearing... a black hood... shouldn't be your argument for why it's him - :(((( midge's mom sobbing is so sad - wtf was that look for penelope - LOOK AT PEA IN THE BACKGROUND OF CHERYLS SPEECH - mrs. klump SNAPPED - i could make a whole separate post reacting to the dumb shit betty's does in this episode. like her jumping to defend him? you've been trying since day 1 to get him out of your life since you brought him in. even though you saw how HAPPY he made your mother. i don't think he's behind the murders but why wouldn't betty want to investigate him? hell - i would want to investigate him just in case! - arch you're on to something - concerned veronica is so soft i love it - archie usually makes the dumbest mistakes (well he does a lot) but i'm so happy he's connecting the dots and realizing that the black hood isn't svenson - why is there such a weird gap between jughead and betty as the walk out of pops? like don't get me wrong, i don't ship bughead, but it's not because i don't think they have chemistry together. they usually have a decent amount. however, the gap reminds me of this cringy photo of my friend where he's 2 feet apart from his fav retired teacher and his friend. just saying - it couldn't be anyone...it'd yo dad and moose. he's going after those he tried to kill but failed to (tab) ps the black hood is such a shitty killer lmao like he got better with how he killed midge but when he tried the first time... - i'm not really a fan of varchie but ronnie saying that she doesn't even want to think bout anything bad happening to archie is supa cute - i can't stand hal why is he even getting screen time NO ONE LIKES HIM - archie caring bout fred warms my heart bc fred deserves the world. seriously. i love that man - archie made such a good point though bout how midge was killed in a full auditorium. like damn, the black hood really improved his game. even though i think it's the same guy, the same guy improving his murdering skills so much without practice is odd - IM ONLY 8 MINUTES IN UGH IM TIRED ALREADY - i feel so bad for ronnie she's being manipulated to the max. i'm happy she caught on rn but i can only hope  she continues that trend ~ btw i'm sweetvee trash and @veeandpea (love you iswa thanks for introducing me to this ship <3) pointed out such a good concept saying how they'll get together after ronnie realizes how she's being manipulated. just wanted to share that - bosom lmao - hermoine exploiting cheryl's grief and determination is so annoying and sad - "i am cousins with cheryl blossom" lmao i'm happy she's not trying to pretend they're friends anymore - hold up...they didn't go to the cops after the busted cheryl out!!? what the fuck - it's actually so dumb that betty wouldn't consider chic maybe not being her brother ugh - there's like no family resemblance with that kid in the picture idk what you're on old lady - ope it's a morph suit! tbt to halloween when these were all the rage - since when did betty know how to fight??? - graham phillips (the guy who plays nick) is actually so hot like why did they have to make him a bad guy!!! - how did he get hotter?? it's the stubble right - the only mob storyline i like is in general hospital (a soap opera i watch with my mom) - "he's not blood" y'all did that blood thing?? isn't that the equivalent - i get why the lodges aren't going to help archie but they got him into this whole mess - when called her opinion piece a 'thought piece' the journalist in me shuddered so hard i hard i had to pause the show -i'm iffy bout the sherrif keller because he is shit at his job but he honestly didn't sign up for the big mess riverdale is - why is this whole episode not interrogations/why did we only see a few?? i liked s1 because it was a murder mystery and right now it's just feeling like a drama - THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING I LOVE ALICE SO MUCH SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - why would nick care about your dad lmao - holy shit kj looks horrible with his hair flat like that - how did veronica know that wad of money wasn't enough so quickly is she super smart or something cuz i like that headcanon - #praying that nick and ronnie's money exchange is gonna be discrete - why is this show so dumb YOU DON'T PASS BLACK BAGS BETWEEN TWO ANGRY PEOPLE OVER THE TABLE??? IM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU CW I'VE SEEN Y'ALL DO BETTER SET UPS THAN THIS - ???how did he know it wasn't all of it - !?!!?why didn't ronnie just say no trust me it is because he would've been like eh ok (probably) - that's an insult to reptiles - this scene is so so sad madchen is such a good actress - FP DIDN'T MAKE A SCENE HE JUST HUGGED HER WHEN SHE TOLD HIM AWW I LOVE THEM - if i was betty and i heard that ringtone i'd put my phone down the garbage disposal oops - actually no i would change my number so he wouldn't be able to call me - what's the point of her writing those words down other than to annoy the viewers who can hear the marker squeeking - i'm starting to like archie a lot more i'm happy - i don't think chic killed him, i don't know if the whole overdosing explanation is true but i don't think he killed him - hart denton is such a good actor i love him i hope he doesn't leave - betty and veronica are supposed to be best friends again yet veronica's going into this all alone? have they even spoken this whole episode? - "some sinner's only confess when faced with certain death" aye that rhymes - protective fp is my favorite fp - i love a man who's learned from his mistakes that put him in prison - veronica and nick look hot as fuck - (btw i don't like nick he's just hot as fuck) - she so roofied him - why didn't archie try and do that shit to get out before - is where archie is and where veronica and nick are even close to each other? - hal's probably like shit i should have stayed away from this family - oh my god she's talking bout grundy!! the first time i thought it was jughead's old one that ended up being the candy man - AHAHAHAA veronica's putting nick up for ransom - i still don't think chic killed the real charles - betty not shooting the black hood during this scene is so dumb. maybe even one of the dumbest. i don't know though. she's done a lot dumb things - :((( i really like hart i don't want him to leave the show - dead ass when i watched this the first time i thought 'remember when kevin got his dad really drunk so he could steal the files' and now that i'm watching this again....i remember that happened in teen wolf - he's a mobster how can he help with a serial killer - no more lies elizabeth cooper! - i've thought hal was the black hood all this season so i'm happy more people think the same!!! but seriously betty suspecting her dad doesn't really make sense

#riverdale #nat watches riverdale #archie andrews #can y'all believe archie is supposed to be the main character of this show #bc i can't!! #fred andrews #veronica lodge #hermoine lodge #hiram lodge #betty cooper #alice cooper #hal cooper #chic cooper #charles cooper #is that a tag #its gonna have to be now lmao #kevin keller #sherrif keller #sherrif tom keller #tom keller #cheryl blossom #penelope blossom #jughead jones #fp jones #falice #my otp that got some cute interaction #the black hood #black hood #nat rambles #this show went downhill

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

two years of being clean

PSA: I also posted this on my blog. I just wanted to share this on here, too because you guys are a main part of this whole thing. (the pictures are me on this exact day in 2015, 2016 and 2017) 

So this is it. The great two years mark. Wow. If anyone would've ever told me in 2014 I would be able to be content with my life for so long, I would've called them crazy. Me? The overthinker and overworrier? Content for two years? Not falling back into the black hole again? No way. Yet here I am. Two Years. Writing those words down already feels weird. One year ago, on this day, I talked about how it all came together. You can find the post here. You can also read up my story here. Today, however, I wanted to focus on the aspects that have changed in my life. I think it's good to sometimes stop to think about how far you've come and what you achieved. For the sake of this, I started writing things down about a week ago that occurred to me, so that I wouldn't forget anything. "When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe." I'm not denying that up to today, I'm still shy, especially when it comes to situations in class (I'll talk about that later). But one thing that has drastically changed is the number of people I have the pleasure of calling my friends. Often, when I'm walking home with someone or just making jokes in class or someone says or does something that shows that they genuinely care about me, I suddenly start thinking "Wow I'm so grateful for experiencing this.". This actually happened just today, when I was about to do my presentation in French. You have to know that I am terrified right before talking in front of the class and my whole body is shaking etc. But what happened, and for me it's something I genuinely appreciate, is that people that have become my friends over the past few months, started cheering me on. They were like "Sarah you can do this!" or "Don't be nervous, you'll be great!". And although that didn't stop my hand from shaking, it soothed my soul. These people are supporting me, no matter if I'm not perfect. And that is one of the greatest things I ever got to experience in my life. And as I said, I get along really well with a lot of people of my grade. Some even invited me to a party! This is truly insane. I'm not at the same level of people I call friends as I was before we moved here. And that is not to say that I'm counting numbers and measuring my self worth by it, but that it shows how far I've come. But I don't want it to be like before. This time I'll be more empathetic and kind and loving. Everyone deserves kindness. "When the butterflies turned to dust, that covered my whole room." One thing I just recently noticed is that I care so little about other people's (negative) opinion about me anymore. Once, Taylor said during one of her clean speeches that "you're not the opinion of someone who doesn't know about you or cares about you." and I've really taken this advice to heart. Don't get me wrong, I still notice when people clearly don't like me, but it doesn't clatter up my day or my entire week if they don't. I'm still overthinking a lot but this fear of being rejected by people I barely know has diminished so much that I don't even think about it anymore. "Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it." I still have some bad days. They usually happen during my PMS but I don't want to blame all of it on my body because I know that the reasons why I am sad are still valid. My internet best friend (who also reads this blog - hi!) once told me that during bullying, there are certain connections that are formed in our brain and that's why I - and she, too - are sometimes having those down days. But I'm able to handle it. I either write a blog post or talk about it on tumblr and you guys always cheer me up when I'm down. Another thing I am incredible thankful for, "I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing." I'm still a bit fed up with what people expect of me. Because I come across as shy as you first get to know me, I sometimes lock myself into that role and act like it because I feel like this is what people WANT to see me be like in some sort of weird way. But I'm getting there, slowly, but I do. I started participating in French and in English, while I could barely raise my hand not that long ago. And even if no one else besides me sees my process because the steps are so little, I won't stop. And if I'm doubting that, you are one of the first ones to remember me of my worth. Thank you. "Now that I'm clean, I'll never gonna risk it. I think I am finally clean." I am fascinated with the line "It was the night things changed; can you see it now?" during Change (hence my tumblr blog title). Because even though two years ago I barely noticed anything had changed, I do now. And I'm incredibly thankful for this journey. I won't quit. I want to make Taylor and most importantly myself proud. This is a reminder for each and everyone of you. You are loved and important. You can get through this dark time of your life. The strength has always been within you, even if you can barely recognize the light that's a part of your every fiber being. Keep going. And trust your heart. And most importantly, thank you. For liking my posts when I was sad, for sending me messages - anon or not - or for saying that you are proud of me. You are as much of a part of this journey as I am. And Taylor - never ever stop being you. You are an inspiration for so many people. I will never not love you, I pinky promise. Finding a life of my own, xxx Sarah

#two years of being clean

[shattered-dragon-blog]

A PSA: Writing Workarounds.

I’ve been seeing this happen quite a bit lately and as a writer I find it very irritating. It usually occurs during more combat based RPs but it can happen during more mundane RPs as well. I just want to educate you guys on this and help you with moving away from doing it. So, let’s get down to business.

What is a workaround?

A workaround is when one partner writes their character doing an action that completely negates what the previous character was doing.

For example: Partner A writes that their character does x which results in y. Partner B then responds by writing their character doing z which means action x has no affect whatsoever.

Why are workarounds a problem?

Workarounds are a problem because they create a void in the writing. They are difficult to respond to and when multiple workarounds are done in a thread it leaves it feeling one sided, like nothing is really occurring. It can make your RP partner feel discouraged, like you’re just going to wave off anything they write as if it didn’t happen at all.

Perhaps the best way to explain how irritating it is is to think of children playing at soldiers. There is always one kid that gets shot and starts exclaiming, “No, no. You didn’t hit me! I dodged it ‘cause I have super reflexes!” Please, don’t be that kid.

But my character is really powerful/smart/resourceful. What if the workaround makes sense for them?

Writing an OP character can sometimes mean they can negate certain events, which is fine, as long as you can give me a reason beyond just ‘my character is really good at x’ or ‘my character has this gadget that can do y’. Having a character that doesn’t even struggle or have any limitations is boring. Everyone and everything has a weakness, make sure your character has one as well.

Again, if you have a real, solid, realistic reason for why your character perfectly escaped certain events then I’m fine with it. If you don’t then I’m gonna have to ask you to sit down and think ‘how will negating this affect the story?’

Please remember.

Role play is a partnership. We need some give and take between partners to keep the story going. This doesn’t mean just accepting every action and it’s consequences in the story but it does mean talking to your partners. If a character does something and you’re not okay with the possible consequences then please discuss it with your partner instead of negating it completely. We want to keep the story moving, not make it enter that awkward void.

#ooc post #psa

[phdna]

PSA on the whole Chris Evans tumblr meltdown of April, 2017

Because I just know this won’t be the last meltdown tumblr will have this year

I know I’m gonna be asked about this, so just a PSA...

Do I agree with Chris Evans’ comments about how Tom Brady gets a pass for supporting Donald Trump because he’s a good football player? No. Absolutely not. Nobody - nobody - gets a free pass for supporting bigotry.

Does this make Chris an evil person who everybody should be ashamed to like? Nah. If you want to stop liking him, that’s your right. But it’s not my duty. 

One comment doesn’t turn a fundamentally good person into the antichrist or anything like that. It’s a warning sign, yeah, and I am disappointed that Chris has this kind of mindset, but until I either A) have more evidence he is Secretly A Huge Asshole or B) can sit down and personally discuss with him his political views, it’s not like the world is ending.

It’s not even the first thing Chris says that disappoints me, and it won’t be the last. But then, I probably disappoint people all the time, too, and hopefully I’m not getting hated as much as he is because of that. It feels extremely unfair to expect people to be forgiving when I fuck up and be out to get his head on a spike when he fucks up. I hope people will know how I generally live my life and cut me some slack for when I do bad things, so that’s how I try to treat other people. I know Chris tries rather hard to be an all-around good guy, so I try to remember that before writing him off as an awful human being.

I’m getting repetitive here, but I just wanna point out that just because you’re famous, it doesn’t mean you’re less human. Famous people can definitely fuck up, and I don’t want to live in a world where occasionally fucking up earns you endless hate. So I won’t live in that world. I’ll keep my eyes open and tentatively move on rather than post ten thousand memes about How Chris Evans Is Just Like Every Other Terrible White Guy. Call me a bad social justice-minded person or an idealist, but hating it’s not my style. Hating is a last resort. I can, am, and will feel angry and upset for a while, but I’m not gonna feed this anger out of self-righteousness. I’ll forgive when I feel ready to, and I won’t forget, because I don’t wanna be a blind fan either. But god, I’m not gonna attack Chris like he’s personally threatening people or something.

Now, I’m aware I have many layers of privilege and that’s probably coloring my views on it. But I really can’t think of a more mature, responsible way to handle this situation, so until somebody points out a better solution, that’s what I’m going with.

#politics tw #kinda