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snakeredbirdbatkatana · 6 months

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So I'm not a fan of the oh sad/kitten Tim thing that a lot of people got going on sometimes I enjoy when he gets a hug.

The one thing that I hate is when we take the rich out of Tim drake.

I want Tim rolling in fucking money sugar daddy to the stars level I want him thinking bananas cost $50.

It's funny it's also angsty as fuck

Good example my mom grew up with a dad who was filthy rich like there is a road named after my moms family.

He however was neglectful and abusive when she was 17 she left got pregnant tried to reconnect and he held me once before he refused to speak to her ever again.

Growing up my parents didn't have money my dad was the only one who worked but we got by. I didn't know anything about my moms life until I said to my dad one day about how moms dad sucked and how birthdays and shit must have sucked. Specifically she told me about one present I said that was shitty cause she said it wasn't the one she wanted. It was 400$.

My dad called my mom and flat out said why does our child not know you were fucking loaded.

Just because you have money or had money doesn't mean there isn't abuse or other secrets. Rich people are fucking weird.

(Another example when they found out my grandmother was pregnant they invited her over for dinner and we're disgusted by the fact that she was wearing jeans)

I want Tim to be rich and weird. Bruce is too and I don't hear people complaining about him having money for the bats to actually work they need to be rich. No other explanation would work because only billionaires could be furrys who fight crime. If normal people did that they would be in Arkham.

This was really ranty and weird but essentially Tim needs to be swimming I won't accept any arguments.

#tim drake #batfamily #rich batfam #Bruce Wayne is a billionaire I enjoy that because real life rich people suck #Bruce Wayne #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson

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arttuff · 6 months

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i want steph and jason to team up so bad

#dc comics #stephanie brown #jason todd #red hood #the spoiler #dc #batfamily #batfam #i knowwwww their dynamic would be so fun. broke bitches represent. all these rich idiots wouldnt get it. they have solidarity

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neuro-psyche · 7 days

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I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.

If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.

Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.

Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.

Tim :

Dick :

Tim : My room is normal sized…

Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-

Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.

Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.

Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Do you want to-

Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.

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ghost-bxrd · 12 days

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Prompt:

Oliver Queen and Bruce Wayne are childhood best friends.

Green Arrow hates Batman’s guts.

That animosity— and his aim to subtly piss Batman off at every turn— results in Green Arrow and Red Hood collaborating on a trafficking bust.

This somehow results in discovering that the Red Hood is his best friend’s supposedly dead son.

Oliver doesn’t know how he’s going to fix this, with Jason refusing to want anything to do with either Bruce or the Batman of Gotham (who everyone knows is dating the former)… but one thing’s for sure:

He needs to bring the kid home. Oliver can’t bear to watch Bruce suffer any longer when the cause for it is sitting at his kitchen table, alive, and stuffing his face with waffles.

#Bruce knows Oliver’s secret identity #Oliver does not know Bruce’s secret identity #it’s fun… not #idk where this came from but here we are #I want Oliver and Bruce to be childhood rich kid besties #prompts #jason todd #batfamily #red hood #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #Oliver queen #Brucie wayne #green arrow #Jason screwing up Bruce’s long standing secret identity bullshit with Ollie out of spite

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lustwithoutlore · 3 months

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Stephanie, clearly upset: I just spent $30 at the grocery store and all I got was eggs, mayonnaise, fruit, and pop.

Tim: Oh so prices have gone down, that’s good.

Stephanie: …. I really hate you sometimes, Tim. Really hate you.

Tim: Isn’t $30 for all that cheap?

Stephanie, calling Jason: I need an immediate extraction I’m about to kill Tim.

Jason: … And you need the extraction, why?

#steph: *cocks gun* time to eat the fucking rich #tim: thank god if I get killed I can finally rest #steph: *lowers gun* uh…. you good bro?#batfamily #batman #jason todd #red hood #batfam #tim drake #stephanie brown #batgirl #red robin #dc comics #dc comics funny #incorrect batfamily quotes

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undertheredhood · 9 months

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any dc character: *confessing something about their past they kept hidden out of fear/shame*

their batfam bff who had already known for a while and is now desperately trying to hide that they knew the truth this entire time: “oh, wow! that is so crazy, i am so sorry you had to go through that.”

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heroesriseandfall · 10 months

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People know Tim was Weird about being adopted by Bruce but honestly the “committing fraud and hiring an actor to pretend to be his uncle so he won’t get adopted” thing is only one part of it. Always remember that when Tim finally did let himself be adopted by billionaire Bruce Wayne he immediately used it to intentionally get himself kidnapped so he could stop a rich kid mass-kidnapping operation.

#tim seeing that lots of rich kids keep getting kidnapped: huh maybe there’s ONE benefit to being adopted by bruce wayne #tim drake #batfam #bruce wayne #dc comics #he is SO normal about parental supervision #robin (1993)#heroesriseandfall

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jhonnyhotbody · 2 months

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It gets ransacked every week

This was them b4 they got their wives

#It's hard to eat that many calories okay #and who wouldn't want Alfred's leftovers #even if his dead rn #Stealing is bad #This post does not condone stealing #B4 the married speedster got married they had at least a singular spring cheese in their fridge #bart allen #Stealing from a rich is okay tho #wally west #flash family #This applies to stealing from Oliver #batfam #batman

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medusas-graveyard · 11 months

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Youngest adoptee!Danny

Danny grips on the sleeves of Alfred's uniform, standing behind him as he opened the door to the Wayne manor.

"After you, master Danny." Alfred chastised, gently pushing Danny towards the door.

Bruce greets them as he stepped into the home, and Danny smiled upon seeing him. He walks closer to him and gave him a small hug, which made Bruce chuckle and stroke his hair. "Welcome to the family, Danny."

They talk and talk as they walked through the manor halls; mostly just Bruce talking about the other kids and his family while the younger occasionally comments and nods along.

They reach the main room where the other Waynes are waiting to meet him.

"Can I say something mildly offensive?" Danny blurts out the moment he stepped into the room.

"Tt, If you know it's offensive why would you say it?" Damian rolled his eyes from the couch.

The younger male shrugs, "I don't know, if you don't respond with a reasonable answer I'll make a run for it," he answered, taking a step back to prove his point.

Everyone is in mild alert with the gesture, but stayed calm through the whole thing.

"Alright, then. What is it?" Bruce asked, meeting the younger male's eyes.

"All of you reek of death."

#danny phantom #dp x dc #batfam #danny fenton #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc prompts #dpxdc #dc x dp prompt #dc x dp #i don't know where this is going so if you wanna continue it go ahead #Danny's so tired of rich men and smelling like death LMAO

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i-cant-sing · 7 days

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Mmmhhh thinking about Yandere Batfam reacting to a reader who runs a very popular blog where she absolutely bashes Batman and Robins- and the batfam takes your criticism very seriously. Maybe not at first, but then Damian (the easiest to tick) got pissed off when you wrote how "he's just a kid in a cheap Halloween costume" and when Damian gets pissed off, he whines. He whines and whines and whines until Dick and Bruce finally listen to him and do something about it. That's when they find out about the extensive threads about them, criticising meticulously each and every action of theirs, how they're causing more financial harm to Gotham and allowing themselves to be idolised and causing more people to comit crimes just so that they could have their 5 seconds of fame with Batman. And ofc theirs a whole page about the Batsignal.

I mean, Damian and Tim have already found out who runs the page (though they had a little bit of a hard time sniffing u out. You were good at covering your tracks). While Damian and Tim are busy going to "have a talk with you", Bruce is at home reading your entire blog about Batfam and realising how some of your points.... kinda makes sense. So, he buys the app where you write your blogs, then has Damian bring you over to the Wayne offices, where he explains he just wanted to meet the person running the blog that generates the most readers on the app. You, just a 23 year old student who's blogging as a side hustle.

You're obviously stunned because why are you meeting Bruce Wayne and also confused because again, why are you here exactly??? Bruce just says that he likes your insights and would like to know more, and he's happy to pay you by the hour you spend talking to him and also on the blog.

He's very much determined to make Batman and Robins be good in your mind, and not that he cares much about what people think about him, it doesn't hurt to have good PR for heroes, lest people should try revolting against Justice league and only end up hurting themselves. There's only so much he could do to calm his metahuman friends.

You're again- CONFUSED, but you like money. The only thing you tell him is that you get to write whatever you want, complete creative control and that you can write about anyone you wish. Ofc, it doesn't register to Bruce that you could possibly write against his family- against his name.

So in the beginning, things are going great. Reader continues making calculated judgements and comments about Batfam and how they could possibly improve themselves, the batfam takes note and tries to do most of the things. Then you'd write something that could almost be seen as praise for "changing their old ways" and they all feel a little bit proud. They don't realise it but some members of the batfam (like damian and Dick) start craving your approval of their actions.

Perhaps something happens, maybe you don't find it fun to write about the bats anymore, so you shift your mind towards a new topic-

The Wayne's.

You research a bit, finding it a little odd at Bruve Wayne's generosity to be adopting random ass kids, a super duper clean record, no scandals or anything- it just- it doesn't feel right. No one's that clean. They have to be hiding something.

So when u can't find anything against them, you let your imagination go wild and start making conspiracy theories, kinda feel like reader goes in her gossip girl era to stir things up so that someone would come forward with something- anything.

Bruce's eyes almost bulge out as he reads the blog's headline-

"The secrets of Gotham's favourite billionaire playboy!"

Shit- did you figure out he's batman?

Nope. In fact, you covered everything but that. From theories about him adopting troubled kids for PR, to the Wayne family actually being a chauvinist cult, to conspiracies about his ties with the Rothschild, his philanthropic donations being a front for illegal activity, the Wayne Manor holding lavish nsfw parties, and even a classic "they drink virgin maiden blood!"

Bruce stood in your apartment, eyes narrowing at your sleeping form on the couch.

"Bruce? What- how did you get in?" You don't remember unlocking your door.

"What is the meaning of this?" He pulled up your article on his phone.

"Huh?" You took a closer look, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. "Oh. Yeah, I wrote that."

"Why?"

You shrugged. "I was bored."

"What?" Bruce could feel himself getting angry. How could you be so nonchalant about the lies you wrote?

"You know this isn't true." "I do." "Then why did you write it?" "I told you, I was bored. Besides, you told me I could write about anyone." You get up with a sigh. "I don't get why you're so worried about this. Barely anyone reads this stuff."

Bruce's brows went up. "There's a 1000 plus views on this already!"

"What?" your eyes twinkled. "A thousand already? Its not even been 24 hours since I posted. Wow, people really do enjoy conspiracy-" you shut up when you saw his glare. "Right, sorry."

"Take it down, now." Bruce orders, brow twitching when you just walk past him and into the kitchen, pouring yourself some coffee. "Why?" you asks after taking a sip.

He glares at you. "Because it isnt true-"

"Then give me something that is."

Bruce stared at you. Is this... is this your way of wanting an interview?

You sighed. "Look, just let me interview you family, I promise to only write the truth and only the truth. No conspiracies, I swear."

"Or I could just fire you. Better yet, have you sued for defamation."

You nodded. "You could, but honestly that would only bring more attention to the articles and more conspiracies would arise. Besides, you and I both know you cant stop me from writing even if I'm in jail."

Bruce watched you walk upto him, holding your phone in your hand. "Come on, just one week- one week at your place, I'll even let you read the article before I post it. If you dont like it, I'll delete it."

I mean... it did sound like a pretty good bargain. Besides, at his home, youd be in a more supervised space.

So here you are, standing in the lobby of the Wayne manor as a posh butler leads you to Bruce's office. Of course Alfred will be a part of your articles. He's too fancy to not be.

And so over the course of a week, you dont really find anything particularly intriguing about the family, even after you interviewed each member. You're mentally groaning at the thought of writing yet another boring article... that is until you accidentally discover the batcave (ok not accidentally, u hid a recorder in Bruce's office and u heard the man discussing about it with Dick)

Anyways, it didnt take long for you to discover the cave, and it took you even less for you to write a scandalous article.

"RICH MAN COSPLAYS AND PRACTICES HIS JUJUTSU SKILLS ON THE MENTALLY ILL! SEE PICTURES OF WHERE HE ROLEPLAYS IN MASKS!"

Unfortunately, before you hit "post", your phone is snatched and you're knocked out.

When you come to, Bruce is sitting in front of you looking beyond pissed while you're tied up in your seat.

"We had a deal, Y/n." Bruce gritted out.

"So? Deal was off the moment I found out you were Batman." You shrugged.

"We had a deal-"

"You really expect me to just pretend like I'm blind after I found out who you really are? Do you think anyone would just give up on a scoop this big?" You tilt your head at him.

Bruce narrowed his eyes at you. "Scoop? Thats what this is to you?"

You nodded. "Sure, you're a hero who fights crime and brings "peace" to Gotham, but who knows for sure? After all, thats how you want the world to see you." You lean as far as your restraints allow you. "I dont trust you, Bruce. Not one bit. There's just- this gut feeling about you. Nothing personal, but I dont get good vibes from you."

"Is that so?" Bruce raised his brow before sighing. "I guess there's no reason to let you go then."

"What?"

He nodded to himself. "Yes, if I let you go now, you'll only cause more trouble for me, but also for yourself. If you post content like that, people will target you- yes, I definitely cant let you go. You're an impulsive idiot who'd endanger herself just to not be bored."

Your eyes widen. "You cant kill me."

Bruce scoffed. "Dont be ridiculous, I can, but I wont. I just want to take care of you, protect you from yourself." He stood up. "I did a little bit of research on you too, yknow? You keep your personal life super private, I have to give credit to you, it wasnt easy to find out about your family. But... money makes the mare go."

Your throat dried as you saw a glint in his eyes. He knew... he couldnt-

Bruce's footsteps echoed as he neared you and ruffled your hair. "Poor you... having to deal with a schizoprenic mom." He leaned down to smile gently at you, but you could sense the sinister intent.

"Dont worry, she'll be taken care of at Gotham Asylum while you stay with us."

girl idk where i was going with this, i just needed to get it out of my drafts (i have another long incomplete draft about platonic yandere dick x gymnast reader where he basically is intrigued by this mini tonya harding who lives for her dead beat father's approval who doesnt give a shit about her unless she comes first. so its upto dick to adopt u and make u a part of batfam)

#rich man has weird ways of adopting kids that dont consent to adoption #yandere bruce wayne #yandere batman #yandere batfam #yandere batfam x reader #yandere dc #batfam x reader

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batarangsoundsdumb · 2 years

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as a fandom we have spent too much time making fun of bruce and tim for being rich and not enough time making fun of jason for becoming one of the richest people in gotham twice, once through adoption and once because he beheaded people in the criminal underground and then proceeded to take over their territory and become a druglord.

#we love a hard working queen #also the fact that bruce and tim get made fun of for being rich is just letting them off easy #tim invented an UNCLE tim used to skate from roof to roof tim doesnt have a high school degre #bruce canonically went missing for like 5 years and came back extremely jacked #JASON LITERALLY STUFFED DRUG LORDS' HEADS IN A DUFFEL BAG AND THEN BECAME A DRUG LORD #JASON MONOPOLISED THE GOTHAM CRIME CIRCUIT #the only reason jason doesnt make the 'top 10 richest ppl in gotham lists' is bc he's dead and he got his money from drugs #jason todd #red hood #dc #dcu #dc comics #batfam

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excarow · 4 months

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Honestly I've read like 3 fics with the premise of Tim becoming Damian's favourite brother after he sees how Tim is able to manipulate the upper class or how Tim can say 'fuck you' to rich business men and get away with it and holy fuck that trope has me in a death grip

#tim drake #damian wayne #damian al ghul #batfam #robin #i love the trope of 'i hate you' to 'you're my favourite'#let tim talk shit to rich people

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mikeluciraphgabe · 1 year

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I think we should look into Bruce Wayne’s garden people

He’s rich with a BIG ass property

Someone needs to cut that grass, fix up the flowers, trim a few trees, help the vegetables and fruits not get tangled, make sure the grave-yard doesn’t get overrun with weeds, etc etc

And, well, Alfred is getting a little too old to stay out in the sun that long/doesn’t have time with … other duties

Bruce would loved to, but as both Batman and running WE, he can’t

And his children definitely won’t do that thanks

He has no option but to hire a company

Do they find out he’s Batman purely by making a wrong turn with the mower? Yes. Do they say shit about fuck? Nope. They’re just happy that this tiny ass company that had like 5 people (3 related to the owner) is getting sudden hires/interest by others to actually say anything to anyone about Mr. Wayne and his kids’ activities at nighttime

(Also, points that they just Like It there cuz “WE employees don’t lie. Mr. Wayne is the best employer by far. We even have physical therapy covered if we happened to pull something on the job.”)

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ongoing-catastrophe · 1 month

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i've seen some people in the batman fandom look (very reasonably) at this rich mans "crusade" against crime and be like he's selfish and self important and it would be much better if he invested in infrastructure. but

have you considered the funnier and more ridiculous option that he has? imagine that all of gothams schools are funded by the wayne foundation to ensure a certain quality of life and education even for the poorest kids. they have free daycares and free clinics and free pantries....but all the craziest villains in the country still flock to Gotham because of...vibes?

Bruce is trying everything and he's so confused why everything that works everywhere else just WON'T work here. Gotham becomes a global statistical anomaly, baffling social scientists everywhere.

#all of batmans villains are too extravagant to be doing this on a budget #batmans rogue gallery is essentially a bunch of rich people with too much free time and not enough therapy #he starts all the programs after dick and jason give him an earful about how the only way to solve crime is to solve poverty #and so he's like bet #and yeah it reduces the number of goons and thugs and minions per villain #but the villains are still there because this is just their favorite hobby #batman #batman rogues #batfam #batfamily

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dc-and-damirae · 7 months

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brucie: I know nothing about wine, so I buy bottles based on the label’s art. mr. fox: Ok, but what kind of wine do you want for the galla? bruce: Bear in a scuba suit wine

#batfam #lucius fox #brucie wayne #rich and can not function #batfam on crack #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc funny #dc comcis #dc comics #incorrect batman quotes

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sbd-laytall · 2 months

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God, he's so insane for this.

Batgirl (2000) #27

#Cass being the one who reflects him the most and him seeing that and pushing his worst habits onto her #their relationship is so much more complicated than the fanon batfam fandom would like to believe #and I think it's a real damn shame because their relationship in canon is so complex and rich #cassandra cain #batgirl #bruce wayne #batman #dc comics #comic series #my post

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