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lily-of-the-flame · 6 months

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The Horse and the Squirrel

Belior needs a meaningless, ridiculous story, and it’s your job to help write it! It should be as ridiculous as possible. This google doc is open for anyone to edit, so go ahead and write the most ridiculous story you can!

Have as many plot hole as you'd like! It doesn't matter! The story is intended to be ridiculous and make no sense!

Belior would be playing a variation of this song while telling the story if books had audio.

Reblog so more people can participate!

Let's tell the dumbest story we can!

#ryft #belior #writing #writeblr #creative writing #the horse and the squirrel #ridiculous story #community participation #music #silly

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lore-gore · 2 years

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Ridiculous things that happened in school:

One guy would always wear his backpack backwards. Like on his chest instead of his back.

A kid set fire to the sink (put papers towels in sink and lit it on fire.) He never got punished cause our school sucked ass. Next year he did it again.

A boy managed to parkour himself onto the roof of the cafeteria. He did not know how to get back down.

Two boys switched pants with each other in class. Like took off their pants and traded them in front of the whole classroom.

A girl asked my friend for a pair of scissors, then asked the teacher to go to the bathroom. She came back with bangs. She cut bangs for herself in the girls bathroom at school using borrowed scissors. Power move.

For a project we had to make brochures and present them. One boy said "I made mine a bit bigger so everyone could see" and then proceeded to pull out a tri-fold board.

During a theatre performance someone's phone went off. It was the Mario theme song. It echoed through the theater, killing everyone instantly. Best part is it wasn't a students phone, but an adult lady's.

We were in theatre and had to write a skit based off of a kids story. A group did Horton Hears a Who. The name was "Horton Hears a Who 2: The Electric Boogaloo: JoJo's not his son. " It was set as a game show meant to reveal your ancestry. What it did reveal was that the mayors wife cheated on him with the mailman. It was a true masterpiece, complete with a squeaky pubescent voice from JoJo, who looked like a human version of the character.

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aye-of-newt · 26 days

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guillermo del toro’s pinocchio is a beautiful film but my god no one has adapted that story like neverafter. you can never look at it the same way again after listening to lou wilson, a black man, explaining that he chose to play as pinocchio because it’s a story about a little boy who isn’t allowed to make mistakes. that in pinocchio's story, he is fundamentally barred from childhood at once upon a time. he must earn something that everyone else is granted from birth. the other boys get to tell lies and play and get into trouble, but when pinocchio does the same thing there are grave and violent consequences. his pinocchio is trying to understand why the world is so unfair, why the rules are so different for him, why everyone else gets to be a real boy.

and I think about it every day.

#I'm sure so many other people have said it better than me but I think it deserves being said a thousand upon a thousand times #lou wilson is a phenomenal talent and storyteller and actor #and his ability to bring that character from the most ridiculous heights of comedy to gut wrenching emotion on a pinhead was unforgettable #I have so much respect for everyone in the dome but I don't think any story gripped me as much as pinocchio #d20 #dimension 20 #d20 neverafter #lou wilson

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smolphrog-littlebrain · 1 year

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Kids on the internet now a days are literally wild.. like when I was 12 and on the internet, i was lying out my asshole I was telling people about my kids and my wife. I was talking to them about taxes and how I miss my college days.....now 12 year Olds are out here telling their AGE?!?! OR REAL NAME?!??! I was literally fucking Garry that worked at staples and had 2 children for like 4 years...

#i have so many storys from garry and his family its ridiculous #like where are your parents?!?#Someone get ur child OFF HERE

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starflungwaddledee · 4 months

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from: @starflungwaddledee to: @post-it-notes7

message from santa: "happy holidays post-it-notes! 🎄🥳 i know you very politely only wished for a few modest things- characters high fiving, or struggling in christmas attire- but i hope you'll still enjoy this given that i kinda went the opposite direction entirely! i'm an enormous fan of your work and most times you post anything i wind up browsing your art tag from tip-to-tail in enraptured delight. as such, i thought it was only fair i give back something a little more significant in gratitude for all the joy your work has given me. i knew i wanted to do a comic, so i was thrilled you already had a whole storyverse for me to work from!! this scene seemed the most obvious choice (chapter 8 of "wishful thinking" on ao3) given that i enjoy a dramatic fight scene 😂 i tried to stick as beat-by-beat to the writing as i could and worked in as many details as possible; i hope it'll be fun to see it envisioned this way! merry christmas! ~starflung 🎀🔔 "

#phew... this is by far the most ambitious piece i've ever posted here! 12 pages! this is why i've been so afk from other work haha!#shout out to the poor mods who sent through assignments and received no small amount of all-caps panicked screaming from me in response!!#me?! draw a gift for THE post-it-notes7!? immediately knew i had to overachieve to stand any hope of being up to the bar haha #if you feel these characters look a little different to how i usually draw them- that's totally on purpose!#i worked really hard to match post's designs and styling for them rather than my own; seeing as this was a gift!#actually think it stands out a *lot* surprisingly- given that they are still the exact same orbs. really interesting to compare to my usual #i hope some folks will notice all the details from the story in here! if you've read it and you recognised it please let me know!#genuinely hoping someone just recognises it on the first page. iconic canyon fight... what an honour to draw for this fic tbh #also thank you to the mods for handling all the wips and progress on this ridiculously sized entry from me with such grace #it's being posted on my personal blog due to length for anyone wondering. should be seamless... fingers crossed.#my art #my comics #meta knight #galacta knight #hnk secret santa #cw violence

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riyo-soka · 2 months

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Why tf were the dog and Crosshair consistently better at sensing incoming danger than the guy who was literally engineered in a lab to sense incoming danger. You’re telling me that when a brainwashed assassin ordered to capture Omega was literally in the same room as him, Hunter “overprotective father figure” badbatch couldn’t pick up on that but their new dog did?

#the bad batch #tbb spoilers #tbb hunter #no disrespect to Batcher of course I love her and she’s a good girl doing her best #but also. come on man #remember in s1 when he sensed a probe droid nearby then scaled a cliff and killed it with a knife to the eye/lens? bc the show doesn’t #maybe there’s a story justification for this but it’s getting kinda ridiculous tbh #they’re doing him so dirty

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shirozora-draws · 4 months

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I really, really, really wanted a winter vibes doodle, and also I needed to warm up for the next round of fic illustrations. I see this as a win-win scenario.

And then I kept letting the brain talk me into an entire scenario around the doodle. Whoops.

In conclusion, happy holidays, have a human kid!Grogu riding a long-tailed reindeer.

#shirozora draws #shirozora writes #dinluke #skydalorian #clan of three #din djarin #luke skywalker #grogu #the mandalorian #star wars #story: sweater weather #story: parhelion #series: seasons #my personal weather vibes fic series where i listen to the vibes and not common sense #anyways I have warmed up and am ready to go fucking nuts on the next set of 3quelfic illustrations #this is so ridiculous #cannot believe i let my brain talk me into this #anyway happy holidays 2023 what the fuck was this year even

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mr-smith-stories · 2 years

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Mr. Smith #15: Mr. Smith Becomes A Professor

Mr. Smith sat back in his chair on a warm September morning, the first day of the autumn semester. The leaves had not started to fall from the trees, and as Mr. Smith peered out his window he could see Greenbirds hopping around on the field by the lake. Mr. Smith sighed, wishing desperately that he could pet those Greenbirds, which for some reason always flew away. Besides, he had an important job to do- today was his first day as a professor, teaching Child Psychology to a bunch of pretentious stuck up nerds and his friends, who he had blackmailed into joining the class.

Mr. Smith smiled to himself as students began to enter the class and take their seats. Mr. Smith’s friends all sat down next to Mr. Smith’s desk. Mr. Smith stood up, turning on his computer with the syllabus displayed on the screen. It was five minutes until the class began, but Mr. Smith figured it was time to start. “Hello, class. Welcome to Child Psychology. My name is Mr. Smith, but you must call me -“ Mr. Smith paused upon seeing who entered the classroom. He gasped. “YOU! The gay geniuses! Oh no! What do I do? I have to teach a class and now you’re going to make me look STUPID!”

Leo and Ritchie groaned while Alex held back a laugh. “We’re in class with YOU? Oh dear lord. This is going to be a long semester, unless of course you inevitably quit your job once you remember that we’re smarter than you,” Leo said.

“Now you listen here, devil spawn! I’M the genius here! You’d better RESPECT me, or you’ll be forced to leave this class!” Mr. Smith stamped his foot.

“Shouldn’t you be teaching instead of arguing with us?” Asked Ritchie.

Mr. Smith gasped. “You’re right! Oh no! Um, welcome to Child Psychology class. My name is Mr. Smith, but that’s Dr. Smith to you, because I have recently gotten my PhD in psychology, which is why I’M the genius here, and all of you stuck up intellectual rich brats had better not forget it!”

“Did you just insult the entire class?” Alex asked.

“People insult me all the time!” Amy said. “When I was working at Target, I kept forgetting what to type into the cash register, even though what they bought was right in front of me, and people would tell me I wasn’t qualified to work there. It was so annoying!”

“That is annoying! When I worked at Target, I would lose the stuff people bought right after they gave it to me, and spend twenty minutes looking for their purchases when I had put them under the cash register. People talked to my manager and I got fired. It was a-nnoying!” Susan replied.

“Oh my God, that’s so relatable!” Amy high fived Susan, who sat next to her.

“They fired you?!” Frankie asked, alarmed. “What a cruel world for the working class! America is supposed to be land of the free and home of the brave! How villainous your boss must have been! To leave you out on the street like that!”

“Actually, I was living with my parents still, I was sixteen-“ Susan began.

“Oh, you were but a little sixteen year old girl! A child! How sadistic the system is to children! Poor, hard working children slaving away for hours at a cash register! It’s back to the Industrial Revolution! These are tough times for us all! Poor, young, naive, innocent Susan! A victim of the rich liberal elite!” Bob began to sob.

“I hate the rich liberal elite. They refuse to acknowledge hard working kitty cats and how we contribute to society as a whole! Cats should have equal rights with humans! I want a cat to be president one day!” Kitty yelled.

“I want to see a trans person in office one day,” Alex said.

“A trans person?! A cat would make a better president than a trans person! Trans people are delusional!” Kitty paused. “Oh, look at the clock. It’s time for my nap. Cats sleep multiple hours a day, you know.” Kitty laid his head down, closed his eyes and began to meow softly.

“Please, TEACH the class, Mr. Smith.” Ritchie groaned.

“Yes, let’s try not to make this as painful as possible,” Leo remarked.

“That’s DR. Smith to you!” Mr. Smith pounded his fist on the white board.

“Oh yeah?” Ritchie snorted. “What was your dissertation on?”

Mr. Smith began to gesture with his hands and mouth words no one could hear. “Is a dissertation a type of dessert?”

“No. Oh my God!” Leo facepalmed.

“What is your PhD in?” Asked Ritchie.

“I studied genius IQ in children at the puppy farm! Did you know children from the puppy farm have more consistent scores on standardized tests?” Mr. Smith asked.

“Do you mean they all fail?” Asked Leo.

“Yes! Because their minds are pure with the beautiful, creative freedom of thought taught at the puppy farm! These children know all about Greenbirds and Oak Trees, but these tests simply don’t know how to measure intellect. If they did, why do all these geniuses score so low?” Mr. Smith scratched his head.

“Jesus Christ,” Swore Leo.

“Just get on with reading the syllabus.” Ritchie sighed.

“Ok, devil spawn,” Mr. Smith said. “First, there are no tests. You will instead be asked to prove your genius level intellect at the end of the semester by playing a game of Jenga against me. If you lose, you’re obviously not a genius and you fail automatically. If you refuse, you fail again.”

“That’s not very fair-“ Ritchie began.

“Shut up devil spawn! I’m the genius here! I know what I’m doing!” Mr. Smith threw a marker from the board on the ground.

“You’re such a cute professor,” Said Philip. “I’ve never had a professor as handsome as you.” Philip smiled in a daze, then snapped to attention. “But no homo, right?”

Mr. Smith sighed. “You’re cute too. No homo.”

“You can’t flirt with the students, that’s completely inappropriate!” Alex said.

“What does the word, “flirt” mean?” Asked Mr. Smith.

“I think it means that thing on a male’s neck that moves when you talk.” Philip said.

“You’re such a genius, Philip. You’re almost as much of a genius as me,” Mr. Smith said. “Anyway, there are no assignments, except one quiz. The quiz is just, ‘True or False: Mr. Smith is the smartest person to ever live.’ If you answer differently than how I want, you fail.

“Next on the syllabus is attendance. If you don’t constantly remind me that I’m smarter than you, I will count it against your class participation and attendance and you will fail. Writing this was a lot of work, so that is the end of my syllabus. Now we will move on to lecturing.” Mr. Smith pressed a button and began his slides.

“Now, before we begin, let’s establish some background knowledge. Does everyone know what a child is?” Mr. Smith addressed the class.

“Are you kidding me? This is Child Psychology. Of course we know what a child is!” Leo exclaimed furiously.

“Well, as your professor, I have to account for the fact that most of you did not attend the school of the puppy farm, and are wherefore not as educated as me. And that some of you are level 10 or 50 IQ.” Mr. Smith said smugly.

“For the last time, I am obviously not a level 10 IQ, and Ritchie is obviously not a level 50 IQ! We are both geniuses and you are just jealous of us!” Leo snapped.

Mr. Smith scatched his chin, then began to gesture with his hands and mouth things. “I didn’t have any jello with the sandwich Mom packed me today.”

“That’s not what jealous means!” Leo snapped.

“Shut up and let me lecture, devil spawn, or I will give you a Detention!” Mr. Smith stamped his foot.

“This is college, you can’t give me a detention-“ Leo began.

“Shh!” Mr. Smith shushed him. “Let’s discuss the maturity of children. Despite common miscontraceptions, children are very mature. I know this because people are always comparing me to a very young child, and I’m very mature. Children must wherefore be very mature and geniuses, and lose their genius intelligence as they get older, except me because I have 1 million level IQ.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Said Leo. “You’re not qualified to teach us anything! That’s it! I’m walking out! Who’s with me?”

Ritchie and Alex got up to leave, followed by several other students. Mr. Smith yelled, “Wait! Don’t go!” More students got up to leave, so Mr. Smith became enraged. He ran to his desk, picked up his computer monitor and chucked it out the window. “Whole lot of good you did me!” Then he picked up one of the student’s backpacks and threw it across the room. Then he tipped his desk over and dumped water all over his computer, and chucked that out the window for good measure. As more students began to leave, Mr. Smith ran to the whiteboard and began to pound on the white board while yelling, until finally everyone was gone, including his friends who thought it would be funny to leave and make Mr. Smith angry.

Mr. Smith ran out into the hallway. “That’s IT! I’ve had it with you gay geniuses! I quit! I’ll never teach ever again!” Then he called the dean and quit his job, which he had only gotten because the dean had eaten yet another apology pot brownie from Mr. Smith’s father.

Fin.

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#that moment of horror when you realize mr. smith is your child psych professor #that syllabus though #three setences long #must be a record #leo is so iconic when he leads the class in walking out uwu #that iconic ritchie moment when he asks mr. smith what his dissertation was even on #we love to see it #two adorable gay geniuses #original story #silly story #ridiculous story #amy and susan #mr. smith and philip #philip and simon #bob and frankie #kitty #cute gay couple #fictional gay couple #fiction

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neitherlightnordark · 10 months

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from studying undertale (re: panicking while running from undyne) i have to say that its softness and kindness and sheer emotional weight is made more effective when paired with the fact that its so sarcastic and funny. obviously sans and especially papyrus are a good example here. papyrus follows 'dont kill and dont be killed' to a t bc that doesnt mean he cant be Fucking Brutal i cannot tell you how many times ive been owned by him. and yet there's moments where he casually slips in that youre his good friend. the moment you see the core when his expression crumples? when you try to call him one more time after talking to him before the core and he yells 'you don't have to say goodbye!!!'?all of these are made more effective by him looking me in the eye and saying things like 'it's undynes house. you know, the one with a skeleton in front'

#personal #another moment that made me think abt this is seeing the monsters ridiculous designs #as they tell u the story of asriel and the human dying #you can take in the monsters for all they are. their lumpy oddities and their grief.#DID I MENTION I BEAT PHOTOSEAP FLOWEY I DID IT FIRST TRY HES SO GREAT LOVE U FLOWEY

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rebouks · 1 month

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Previous // Next

Oscar: Hey, man-.. didn’t think you’d be here ‘til later. Ivan: I lost my fuckin’ phone. Oscar: Again? Ivan: Will y’ping it on that thing for me? Oscar: If it’s in your garage again, I swear… Ivan: The bastard thing ain’t in there-.. just fuckin’ ping it! Oscar: Okay, okay.. keep your knickers on, geez. Ivan: I could’a done without this today. Oscar: You’re gonna have to start thinking about your blood pressure one day, chill out. Ivan: Yeah, yeah-.. where is it? Oscar: Uh, Oasis Springs..? Ivan: No, it ain’t! Oscar: Well, it is. Ivan: What the… Oscar: Say bye-bye phone. Ivan: God fuckin’ dammit-.. someone must’ve nicked it. Oscar: That’ll teach you. Ivan: [groans] For fuck’s sake. Oscar: Don’t mind uncle Ivan’s terrible language. Ivan: Yours ain’t no better. Oscar: What’ve you done-.. why do you look guilty? [Robin balked, lamenting the lack of control he had over his own face; he definitely had some work to do there] Robin: I don’t! Oscar: Uh-huh-.. who’s done what? [Robin hastily thought of something innocuous that’d still annoy his father enough to distract him whilst he escaped] Robin: Uh-.. I ate the last éclair. Oscar: You little shit… Robin: My bad!

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 story #sims story #forever in between #fib #oscar finch #robin finch #ivan harper #ᓚᘏᗢ #ummmmm robin PLZ #stealing ur papa's last eclair is not innocuous #ultimate betrayal from his own spawn #fkjfkg #also.. ivan's totally one of those ppl who leaves his phone in ridiculous places like the fridge n can't find it for hours #😅

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dewvorce-flowers · 2 months

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Damn, who of you all did it?

Edit :

Wow, that's fast. They are already on Ebay lmao

Edit 2 :

As has been pointed out by smarter people than me, the ones on ebay most likely aren't the thieves but people expecting to get them at the game.

#this is such a ridiculous story 😭😂#jaromir jagr #pittsburgh penguins #funny

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general-cyno · 6 months

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apparently it's the 15th anniversary of zoro's sacrifice in thriller bark (not sure if manga or anime though) so yknow. time for more zolu of course

one of the many things about zoro and luffy is that despite how their approach to certain situations might differ at times, they're still pretty similar at their core, sometimes to a comical degree (see: their definition of what a hero is back in fish man island arc). and this understanding of how the other works is what leads to moments like jaya,

this little one in water 7/enies lobby,

and follows consistently all the way to wano arc.

and I was thinking the other day about how their childhoods too kinda mirror or parallel each other's in a way that emphasizes (to me, at least) how special zoro's particular protectiveness toward luffy is, and why luffy relying on zoro that way is just as special.

the specifics of their childhood stories are different but both luffy and zoro have a turning point of sorts that's marked with the grief and loss of sabo and kuina, respectively, which leads them to say these:

(I cropped the panels, but luffy's also crying here)

it's important to note zoro and luffy had dreams/aspirations before this, to become the greatest swordsman and luffy's secret thing that we've yet to learn about (that ace, sabo and the crew now know). however, losing kuina and sabo is what prompts them to, on top of that, strive to become stronger for other people's sake. for zoro, it's his way to honor his friend and fulfill their shared dream. for luffy, it's to avoid losing the people he loves.

throughout the story, zoro and luffy end up expressing similar frustration and sentiments due to this. there's zoro innerly chiding himself for being too weak as he trains in the aftermath of arcs like little garden, alabasta and thriller bark, where the crew get stuck in situations in which zoro isn't able to help as he wishes he could (the wax cake, the sea prism stone cell, kuma). there's luffy swearing he won't lose a single member of his crew even if it kills him (the davy back fight) and reproaching himself for not being able to save any of the straw hats in sabaody, with the worst of it right after losing ace in marineford.

(and man do I have thoughts about bon turning into zoro, out of all the straw hats, back in impel down.)

anyway. as to why all of this is meaningful - when zoro agrees to join luffy, he mentions that his goal to become the greatest swordsman is all he has. yet as the straw hats go from journey to journey, and with a certain emphasis in luffy, you can see how zoro's view slowly shifts. he's now driving himself to become strong to protect them as well, to the point he's willing to set aside his ambition and offer his own head in exchange for luffy's, if it means he can ensure luffy's life and safety. that's huge. as mihawk inwardly points out, zoro has something, someone he values even more than his ambitions and pride. and it's through his adventures with luffy and the crew that he becomes closer to achieving that initial dream of his.

whenever people wonder why zoro's as loyal as he is to luffy, aside from all the reasons why luffy as a character has earned that loyalty through his actions, I also remember that one line koushiro said to zoro in a flashback: "the pinnacle of swordsmanship is the power to protect what one wishes to protect and cut what one wishes to cut. a blade that injures all that it touches isn't really a sword." while sure, it works in the context of later power ups like haki, imo it perfectly captures zoro's character growth too and what luffy's given him. the current zoro isn't lost or directionless with only one purpose in mind or to live for, bounty hunting as a means to survive. he has a home to return to, people to cherish, to protect and keep getting stronger for, people who nurture him in turn. kuina's death is something zoro couldn't have prevented, and losing people in accidents like those is something that could happen again, but still within the limits of what's preventable - zoro can protect his friends now.

as for luffy... zoro kinda steals the spotlight when it comes to grand gestures of loyalty/devotion and being the MC of the story means luffy fights for different people (both crew and non crew), carrying their wishes and hopes as if they were his own. he gets help and learns from others as well and all members of the crew are important for luffy to achieve his dream one way or the other, but the way he relies on zoro specifically is so subtly meaningful to me. we don't get as much insight on luffy's inner thoughts, still, we do have context.

for someone like luffy, who is at his innermost genuinely terrified of being alone and losing the people he loves, the fact that he trusts zoro to protect and keep everyone safe (even luffy himself) is so good. as shown above, luffy vowed to become strong in the first place to ensure he'd never go through loss like sabo's again and this vow is all the more renewed after ace's death. luffy has to be strong for everyone but... the fact that he can trust zoro to follow his lead even when others might not understand his reasons to do x or y, that he's so unwavering in his faith that zoro will protect the others when luffy can't, entrusting the people he cares about to zoro, whom luffy also cherishes - it's all pretty special. everyone in the crew has their strengths and zoro may not be the only fighter, but all of them, including sanji, fall under his protection whenever it's needed.

it's not only about raw strength though. zoro's also there to set luffy straight and remind him of what's important when the circumstances arise, like in water 7 or punk hazard. and even when they don't necessarily agree, like wrt vivi's situation after the reverie in marijoa, luffy knows when zoro's right and acquiesces (albeit grumbling a little) because, once again, he's also aware that zoro wouldn't just risk everyone's safety. luffy listens to him. and their reunion in wano too, luffy's sheer happiness at the sight of him again, is a very clear example of how much luffy adores zoro even beyond all that.

although luffy isn't aware of what happened in thriller bark (that we know of), zoro's actions are proof of why luffy trusts, has faith in, and relies on zoro as much as he does and why it's so important for luffy to have him by his side, considering how afraid he is of being unable to keep his loved ones safe. this is more on a speculative note, but I can imagine how comforting that must be for luffy - to not shoulder that on his own.

happy anniversary!