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ultraericthered · 12 days

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BEST DRAGON BALL BIG BADS

1. Cell and Freeza - Eternally the greatest villains that the Dragon Ball franchise has ever had and will ever have. They both just work so well, as characters and as villains, but on different levels. Both are completely and utterly evil to their cores, both are uber powerful, both are superbly designed, both have iconic voices, both serves as ultimate enemies to a generation of Saiyan (Freeza to Goku and Vegeta, and Cell to their sons Gohan and Trunks), both have fun and hilarious TFS Abridged Series incarnations that do them justice, and both have the demeanor of charismatic, sophisticated gentleman whose faux affability is used to punctuate their horrible evilness and conceal even uglier evilness within, giving the reader/viewer a strong desire to see them get dealt a comeuppance, but it’s expressed somewhat differently - with Freeza, his superficial politeness is blatantly false, you can read in his tone that it’s a front he puts on to patronize everyone of lesser power than he, even his own minions, and his inner spoiled brat and brutish sadism seeps through with every line…but those lines are normally courteous and gentlemanly. With Cell, his affability seems much more sincere and there’s much less obvious fakeness and condescension to it, but the things he actually says even with that attitude are so cruel, demeaning and dickish (he’s not known as a Savage Roast King for nothing!) and he just excudes confidence in what he is and all that he is capable of achieving. Their places in the story and what they represent is also great. Freeza was literally the instigator of the entire series, the reason Goku was raised on Earth to start with - he is the dark past that must be conquered in the present day where his reign of terror still spreads. Whereas Cell is literally made up of the cells of the greatest fighters seen across the series, including the previous villains, Freeza among them, who traveled back in time from a future timeline - he is the series’ past amalgamated into a grand present day crescendo and is reflective of a dark future that must not come to pass. While Cell's my preference between the two of them in terms of villainy (character-wise, he’s not quite as developed as Freeza has been), Freeza’s easily my second favorite, and both of them are equally the best Big Bads with the best sagas in all of Dragon Ball.

2. Zamasu/Goku Black and Demon God Demigra - Or as I like to call them, the Lucifer-Satan Duo. As I’ve said before, they’re sort of like the Freeza and Cell of the franchise’s new age - not quite as good but still easily the best major villains we've seen since them. Demigra came first and while he’s not much to write home about in terms of characterization, he’s got an awesome design, an incredibly strong malevolent presence, a flamboyant personality and a particularly sick, cruel, creepy style of villainy that makes him unforgettable. He’s a former Shinjin who fell from grace and became a demon who then rose to such a high state of power that he’s deemed a Demon God, and as such he now possesses a proud, smarmy, mightier-than-thou attitude and believes the entire multiverse should revolve entirely around him and his whims, and that all of existence is his to play with in any way he pleases. At first his villainy seems rather typical of a Big Bad Satan figure, but by the time he puts Piccolo under demonic mind control to get him to kill the kids he’s looked after, it gets more personal and you really want to take the smug bastard down. My two quibbles with him would be his original final form was terrible, being just a recolored, redesigned version of Babidi’s henchman Yakon (thankfully, this got amended later on in Dragon Ball Heroes), and that his backstory comes off as a little too generic and JRPG-esque, which is a big no-no for Dragon Ball. Otherwise he’s a great villain, though unfortunately locked out from mainline DB canon beyond the game universes. Zamasu in Super is sort of like a substitution for Demigra, as he’s a similar character (a fallen Shinjin with a massive ego and divine Messiah Complex) with a similar set-up (a saga that heavily involves time travel, Future Trunks, and a threat to the entire multiverse), but he manages to be his own unique character despite this, more youthful than Demigra and even more insufferably pompous and self-important. And unlike the unashamedly evil Demigra, Zamasu is firmly convinced in his own righteousness and that every action he takes is in the name of divine justice and the creation of a pure universe, even though the actions themselves and his frequent behavior towards others, other deities included, show him as anything but - he’s a cruel, petty, and narcissistic sociopath with delusions of grandeur. Think Light Yagami if he actually had become a god! His other self, Goku Black, is even scarier given how he inhabits a god-tier Saiyan’s body and even melds his own divine power into it’s own to create new techniques and even a new Super Saiyan form, and is a complete badass throughout. And the voice actor performances (both Shinichiro Miki and Masako Nozawa in the original, and James Marsters and Sean Schemmel in the dub) are fantastic. My two quibbles with him would be the explanation for Black’s coming into being was a little convoluted and goofy, and that the Black Hole Eldrich Abomination that melds itself into the entire universe that his consciousness becomes after his defeat/death was just complete nonsense, pushing Zamasu firmly into Villain Sue territory and making him a living Diablos Ex Machina to instigate a horribly bleak end to his saga. Oh well. Can’t all be perfect like Cell.

3. Vegeta - Nowadays with Vegeta being a much better person and one of the most heroic characters in the series (which is great) and also the main deuteragonist/Lancer to Goku in all sagas (which is not so great), it could be easy to forget just what a truly, wonderfully evil bastard, and one of the top greatest villains, he used to be. As the surviving prince of the Saiyan race, even sharing the same name as his late father and now obliterated planet, Vegeta’s pride is monumental and he believes he has, from birth, deserved to be most powerful warrior of all time and space, and supreme ruler of the universe despite him being basically enslaved to serve under Freeza, who also has those ambitions. Before we found out that part about Freeza, though, Vegeta was the Big Bad for the prior saga and by being such a sinister, meticulous, cunning warrior who could back up his arrogance with sheer awesome might, he was more imposing a threat than even Piccolo, the so-called Demon King! Despite his short stature, his ability to keep his composure until he lets out his feral rage made him fearsome to his larger and more brutal partner, Nappa. Toriyama hadn’t initially intended to keep him alive past his saga, but he proved so popular with both readers and his editors that he had his life be spared and it cannot be overstated what a terrific move it was to keep him alive for the next saga, as he received some of the best parts of that saga with his magnificent bastardry, even ending up in an unexpected alliance with the good guys in its latter half that lay the seeds for his eventual redemption arc. In retrospect it’s rather odd that Vegeta got as far as he did since his character was originally written to be nothing but a completely evil prick. I think his success is owed to him being the greatest candidate for an archrival to Goku that Toriyama ever came up with, being of the same race as him and even sharing some similar characteristics, yet being his polar opposite based on how and where the two were raised and thus what they value most. Oddly enough, their development courses have gone in reverse too - Vegeta’s grown more human while Goku has grown more detached from humanity and more in touch with his Saiyan nature. I could go on about what an interesting and fun character Vegeta is, but I’ll spare you all and just mention one minor gripe I have with him (aside from his role in the franchise post-Buu Saga, which remains a major gripe): what the heck happened to his personality after he got revived on Namek by the wish on Earth’s Dragon Balls? Piccolo was one thing, but Vegeta’s more grouchy, aggressive, hot-tempered and bombastic characterization is almost downright irreconcilable with his earlier characterization. Did he come back wrong? Did Freeza’s brutal torture of him before his death do permanent mental and emotional damage? I love the character either way, but it's shaky writing.

4. King Piccolo / Piccolo Jr. - Here’s the guy who was the originally intended Ultimate Evil of the Dragon Ball universe. Oh how times have changed. This spot is both for the original King Piccolo, born of all the inner demons that the nameless Namekian who became Kami Sama exorcised from his consciousness, and Piccolo Jr., who was born from an egg like all Namekian offsprings but imbued with his father’s spirit, making him the Demon King reincarnated. With his appealingly alien design, intimidating voice acting, epic theme music and majestic presence whenever he shows up, Piccolo stands as one of Toriyama’s best villains even to this day. He’s also one of the smartest Dragon Ball villains, one of the few who never succumbed to Bond Villain Stupidity, thinking meticulously and acting with competence from start to finish, damn nearly defeating Goku and all his heroic allies who stand against his reign of terror. The guy even make a successful bid for world domination, holding all governments on the planet hostage with the threat of his power, even planning on making a national holiday in which he destroys one major location in the four corners of the Earth annually, just for kicks! Even after his death, his wickedness endured through Piccolo Jr., who went undercover at the 23rd Budokai just to take revenge on Goku and claim the title of world’s strongest warrior in order to assert his supremacy and put the world under his green thumb once again. Piccolo is very much the same case as Vegeta when it comes to how his character development progressed - for someone who was created and written to be nothing but pure evil, he ended up growing a conscience and caring about someone else, the son of his hated enemy no less, and from there he grew more noble and good-hearted until he was finally willing to re-merge with Kami in order to have the power needed to protect the things and people on Earth that he’d grown to cherish, which was unexpected but beautiful development for his character. Also like Vegeta his characterization had a slight shift before his redemption truly started, but this one was more believable since he’d gotten older and more mellow between the end of pre-Z DB and DBZ, having never been the pure evil beast his father had been and still showing signs in the early Vegeta Saga that the devilish, maniacal Piccolo hadn’t fully gone away yet. As a bad guy and as a good guy, Piccolo is just plain awesome, and one of the most endearing and respectable DB characters for that.

5. Beerus and Whis - After years of the DB franchise recycling ideas, characters and concepts usually from DBZ for all of its content, these two were such a breath of fresh air. Beerus, the God of Destruction for Universe 7, has an immediately appealing design, being clearly inspired by the Egyptian God of death, Anubis, having both canine and feline characteristics in his look and mannerisms. His concept is also great - he’s like a dark counterpart to a universe’s Supreme Kaioshin with destructive power so immense and seemingly limitless that they need a guardian angel to keep them in check, which is where Whis comes in. The personalities of these two and how they play off each other is the best part. Beerus is callous, egocentric, and apathetic to a fault, but also frequently lazy, childish, quirky and eccentric, possessing a strong appetite, and is subject to wild mood swings that effect the way his power is let out. He’s, to put it plainly, an immature psychopath, but being a deity who exists far above mortal beings, he lives by his own code and his thinking is far beyond the morality that mortals or other deities tend to possess, so it's hard to call him truly evil. He’s as great an ally to have on your side as he is as terrifying an enemy to have against you. His growing bond of friendship with Goku and the Z Warriors all while he still stays true to his character but slowly comes to soften up and learn to act in more reasonable ways has been one of the best parts of DBS. Oh, and Whis - he’s cool. And nice. And scary powerful. And both he and Beerus, together or apart, are super hilarious. Some of the best characters to be iconic fixtures of the franchise for years to come.

6. Android 21 - A secret 21st android created by Dr. Gero who got loaded with energy from a super computer that gave her more power than she knew how to handle, driving her batshit insane, spiteful, and destructive as a result, having a very attractive design and an equally sexy Majin form, being pretty much an android version of Launch who ends up going through a literal personality split similar to Majin Buu, is a glutton for delectable treats who has a tragic character arc, a personality like Zero Two from Darling in the Franxx, and the dub voice actress of Riko Sakarauchi from Love Live Sunshine!!? How could you not fall for this bitch? Easily one of the coolest, most creative and most enjoyable DB villains in recent years to be sure.

7. Fu - Another really fun villain to enter the franchise in recent years. The son of Mira and Towa, and the nephew of Demon Lord Dabura, Fu could care less about the ramifactions of his heritage or the dull politics of the demon realm, as he's set his sights on bigger things. Inquisitive and experimental by nature, he's made his M.O messing with the stream of time and intervening in different worlds branched off from different timelines so that he can create any wild and wacky scenario he wants to enjoy. Yeah, he's a DB fanboy surrogate, and it shows in the joyfully eccentric, geeky personality he expresses. Fu goes so meta with his canon-defiling, reality-bending passion projects and with his brand of humor, he's like DB's own Deadpool! But he is absolutely not one to be underestimated just for his silly behavior, for he's one of the most cunning, meticulous and unpredictable adversaries in the franchise. In the Xenoverse canon, he's become the recurring arch nemesis to the Time Patrol who's yet to be brought to justice, and in the Heroes canon, he steals from varying alternate timelines and uses what he attains to devastating effect, gaining more power for himself as he does to the point where he's eventually made the Dark King of the demon realm and seeks to create his own universe that'd play to his ideal rules. Wherever or wherever Fu shows up, disasters are always guaranteed to follow.

8. Emperor Pilaf - Putting this guy up so high seems ridiculous, especially since he wasn’t ever a Big Bad in the original manga, only getting that status from the anime adaptation beefing up his role and giving him more screen time in the series’ first saga. Three things score him this spot - he’s just plain hilarious, he was actually a legit danger to our heroes (and possibly the entire world had his wish been granted) in his earliest appearances despite having no power, and he’s been brought back to the franchise and received a good deal of character growth to the point of becoming a friend/ally to the heroes just as Tien, Piccolo, Vegeta, Buu, and Beerus have. His chemistry with his two agents, Mai and Shu, is always a delight to watch, and his VAs tend to make him immensely entertaining, especially Chuck Huber in the Funimation dub, whose voice and delivery for him has not changed in the slightest in all these years.

9. Tao Pai Pai - I'm kind of cheating here as well since he’s technically not a Big Bad in any saga he appeared in, but he was the source of the most tension and peril in the Red Ribbon Saga in how an act of evil committed by him changed the trajectory of Goku's quest for Dragon Balls, and he had a part in the entire drama of the 22nd Budokai Saga’s plot, so he deserves a spot here. Introduced as a mercenary killer hired by Commander Red to kill Goku, Tao became the Heavy for the saga during this period. Up to that point Goku had faced enemies who could nearly take him in a fight before (General Blue, who Tao kills with his tongue) but hadn’t ever seemed in any real danger from an enemy who could kill him. Tao changed that. He was very dangerous, very formidable at fighting, and very murderous, with there being a very real possibility of him actually killing Goku because he's the first character to kill others on-screen. His character was also a notable change of pace in how villains before him were all light-hearted and comical, or at the very least generic., but Tao, by contrast, was a stone cold professional killer with seemingly only two looks to give: serious poker face or psychotic evil smirk. He doesn’t just kill because it’s profitable, he relishes the hunt and the sensation of bringing other living creatures down before he takes their life. He’s a true villain played straight, which makes his eventual ass kicking at Goku’s hands and the comical reactions he starts giving all the more satisfying and hilarious. While he’s nowadays not as notable or cool as other villains and even seems rather dated, one thing to consider is that with his greed, sadism and fondness for killing, pink and purple color scheme, courtesy and formality when speaking and conducting business with others, attempting to kill Goku after being granted the mercy he’d pleaded for only to have Goku knock his attack right back at him so that it blows him up instead, and then coming back as a cyborg, working alongside an evil family member in the name of revenge…yes, Tao seems to have been Toriyama’s prototype for Freeza.

10. Majin Buu - While his saga was notoriously poorly done on the whole, his character and effectiveness got messed up in its last stretch, and he nowadays almost reads like a prototype for what would later be perfected by Beerus, Majin Buu was still a fine villain(s) for what he was, as well as a fairly unique and memorable one even if he didn’t make for the best Big Bad. Brought into Universe 7 by the dark wizard Bibidi to match and even surpass the Kaioshins, Buu got more powerful the more Kaioshins he slayed and devoured the energy of, and by the time he was sealed away he’d become the most powerful mortal being in existence. Which is an asset to him but also a fault: Freeza had declared himself the most powerful mortal being in the universe, but now we learn that there’d once been a being even more powerful (and later learn that Freeza knew that)? Cell being more powerful than Freeza was justifiable because his literal creation happened only after Freeza’s time and he was made to be the most powerful fighter ever from the cells of the most powerful fighters, Freeza included. Pulling out this random ancient demonic djinn as the next most powaful evul threat evah!!! just felt cheap. But back on his character, I like Fat Buu and the initial Super Buu the best out of all his forms, the former for being the most unexpectedly silly and endearing of all the Buus and the one who actually reforms and sticks around after the saga’s over, and the latter for impressively balancing being ridiculous and humorous with being sinister and menacing, and much smarter than his brutish demeanor suggests, plus he got some wicked awesome theme music in the original dub. Kid Buu’s in the middle, as he’s alright and a well done example of a Generic Doomsday Villain with no personality, goal, or motive for living other than to kill and destroy…but he’s still a Generic Doomsday Villain, so he lacks a character and can’t hold my interest for very long. I don’t care for the briefly seen Evil Buu that ate up Fat Buu to make Super Buu, and I completely abhor Super Buucalotenkshan or whatever we call that long headed abomination - yeah, Super Buu is one of my favorites AND my least favorites among the Buu forms! Go figure. All in all, Buu was a good idea for a worthy foe to be faced by Gohan and pals, but horribly marred by poor execution of his character, his powers, and his saga as a whole. So he’s pretty above average to me.

11. Janemba - The Majin Buu substitute of Movie 12, Fusion Reborn, created when some slacker custodian of Hell got infected with the accidental leak of an unstable dark substance made from dark souls that began tearing at the fabric of life and death, letting the denizens of Hell loose onto Earth. While I wasn’t the biggest fan of him in his initial large, chubby yellow form, when he changed into that smaller, red Satan looking motherf**ker up there, he immediately caught my attention. He’s just so menacing, so psychotic, and so diabolically evil in even the way he fights that I think I like him better than Kid Buu, the canon villain he was emulating. He’s a pretty unique DBZ movie villain, and his big face-off with Gogeta is simply unforgettable.

12. Dr. Wheelo - The main villain of the second movie, The World's Strongest. Two things score him a spot here - his creepiness factor and his motivation. His mind was wished back into the world by his old associate, Dr. Kochin, but his body was not, meaning that the only physical part of him to be seen is his brain, which is placed in a special tube that just happens to connect with a large mechanical body, and he always speaks in a low, calm, sinister voice that’s slightly modulated by a robotic filter. That’s just nightmarish. And unlike many later DBZ movie villains, Wheelo actually has a clearly stated goal and motive - he wants to weed out the world’s strongest fighter so that his brain can be put inside of that fighter’s body, and he can then wield awesome power and test his new body’s fighting capabilities for science in order to become the greatest and the strongest scientist to ever live. It’s sick, weird, and a little bit B-Movie mad science plot, but it works and helps make Wheelo stand out as one of Goku’s most unsettling foes. In fact, it could be argued that he even beat Dr. Gero to it with the whole "mad scientist creating androids to go after Goku" thing. We later got to see Dr. Wheelo's original body when he partnered up with Fu in Dragon Ball Heroes, and he even gained a sleeker metallic form that he could control.

13. Coola - No, I refuse to call him Cooler. That only works if Freeza is named Freezer, but he’s not, so it’s just silly. Anyway, Coola is the older brother of Freeza and the villain of two movies in a row, Movies 5 and 6. If there’s any movie villain who seems like he could fit right into Toriyama’s canon, it’s Coola. He leads his own section of his clan’s Planet Trade business empire and while he’s a notably better boss than his brother, that doesn’t make him any better an individual. Coola is actually a lot more level headed, mature, and pragmatic than Freeza, which is why he’s always been envious of how far ahead Freeza got in terms of power since birth, and how their father blatantly favored Freeza despite all the errors he made that seemed obvious to Coola. But when Freeza seemingly died by Goku’s hand, Coola’s loyalty to the notion of clan supremacy meant that he had to seek vengeance for his brother’s death, which is when he also showed off that he mastered an additional transformation of his final form that makes him even more powerful than Freeza! So let’s see, older brother of the series’ most iconic villain who is smarter and more competent than he, a better boss who inspires the actual loyalty of his minions, and has mastery over a fifth, even more powerful transformation that not even Freeza, the “most powerful being in the universe”, had or knew of? If you’re getting “fanfiction OC Villain Sue” vibes, I wouldn’t blame you, but that actually brings up the most brilliant part of Coola’s character - he’s actually a deconstructive subversion of a Villain Sue. For all his dismissal of Freeza’s overconfidence and being blinded by hatred of his Saiyan enemies, he falls prey to the exact same things during his battle with Goku, and then as he’s dying he realizes that Goku only lived to get as strong as he is because he’d seen his space pod shooting off into space but made the colossally stupid mistake of just letting him go while at the same time he was chiding Freeza for making the stupid mistake of overlooking the escaping pod! Seeing this hit Coola as he burns up in the sun is an immensely satisfying payoff. He kinda-sorta makes a comeback for the following movie, and has appeared in The Plan To Eradicate The Saiyans and a handful of video games, but nothing beats the memorability of his big debut.

14. Turles - The main villain of the third DBZ movie, Tree of Might. If Turles' appearance looks familiar to you, it's because he's sort of the OG Goku Black years before Black was a thing. In the movie he's depicted as a surviving Saiyan who swayed a handful of Freeza forces to defect from the Empire with him and form a competitor business, the Turles Crusher Corps, and there's literally no reason for him to share a face and hairstyle with Goku other than for symoblic purposes, as he represents with Kakarot might've grown up to be like had he never landed on Earth, gotten adopted by Gohan, and got a concussion, as the movie spells out towards the end. This setup seems pretty lazy, but Turles somehow manages to be an interesting, enjoyably fiendish and clever villain with a unique plan for sucking the life out of Earth so that he can lay claim to it and all its resources. My only lament with him is that the thrilling fight between him and Goku is for whatever reason continously interrupted by shots of the Earth as it's being effected by the Tree of Might, which weighs down the pace of the movie. But at least he goes out with a bang!

15. Garlic Jr. - The first DBZ anime movie villain and one of the good ones. The reasons for this is twofold - how he actually succeeds at what both Vegeta and Freeza wanted to do, wishing on the Dragon Balls for eternal life. But rather than making him too broken, this actually became a drawback for him in the end, as he’s stuck with a fate worse than death that he’s unable to escape. And also just how freaking dark and devilishly wicked he is. Seriously, here’s a dialogue sample from him: “The people of the universe better hear my voice now! From this day forward, I, Garlic Jr., will rule over all. I command all evil spirits to come forward and take on their physical forms once again. You are free to walk! A new dark age has finally begun! Let this world be drenched in the blood of the righteous. Now that I’m immortal, I will rule the universe forever! All creatures will obey me or perish. With every power I posses, my reign of terror will be everlasting!” Gives me chills, especially Don Brown’s rendition. Unfortunately, he also has two serious drawbacks. Not only is his entire evil plot that gains him immortality founded upon a massive plot hole (he tries to have Kami and Piccolo killed even though that would erase the Dragon Balls too, and he has Gohan abducted for no reason rather than simply take his Dragon Ball), but he was also recycled as the Big Bad of a godawful filler saga between the Freeza and Cell sagas of the anime that sort of suffered the Return Of Jafar syndrome - he himself wasn’t awful, he just didn’t show us much that we didn’t already see before and done better in his movie, wasn’t well serviced by the plot, and in general it just wasn’t a smart move to bring him into the anime’s narrative, as he and the events of his movie are incompatible with the canon story. His saga’s not quite Noah Kaiba level bad, but it’s close. That might’ve forever tarnished his image with fans, but he was a great villain in his debut movie.

16. Broly and Paragus - The evil Saiyans of Movie 8, The Legendary Super Saiyan. While the concept of two other surviving Saiyans of Planet Vegeta’s destruction seemed hard to swallow at first, they’re given some backstory that actually makes it plausible and even damn interesting, so they’re not merely another Turles situation. Paragus is fascinating due to how you can sympathize with him and understand why he’s bitter and yearns for a world to claim as his own and start up a new Saiyan race. However, he’s not only evil, deceptive, and a cold-blooded bastard, he is wildly, theatrically villainous, always flailing around with excitement and energy that makes him fun to watch. But its his young son Broly who’s the true theat. While he seems timid and quiet at first, it’s revealed that he’s the first known Saiyan to transform into a Super Saiyan outside of legend…and he’s also completely off his rocker. Broly is a psychotic monster, a sadist and a bully who relishes the opportunity to flaunt his power and destroy the lives of others for his own sick pleasure and amusement, and once a rampage starts for him, it will not stop until everyone and everything in his path is dead. His power is also very out of control, which is why Paragus does his best efforts to control his son and contain that power, which proves to be in vain when Goku becomes a factor, as Broly is 100% single-mindedly obsessed with killing Goku, or “KAKAROOOOTT!” as he's known to call him. There’s actually a reason for Broly’s madness, and while it's notoriously petty, it's not entirely nonsensical - when he was a newborn infant, his power rose to an abnormal level, as did that of the baby born on the same day who was right next to him: Kakarott. When Kakarott started crying, Broly eventually started crying too, with both babies shut in tubes unable to budge anywhere….and then King Vegeta ordered for baby Broly to be killed for his abnormal power level. Both he and his father barely survived…and Planet Vegeta got blown up soon after. So Goku isn’t really a reason for any of Broly’s insanity, he’s a trigger for it. His warped mind forever associates Kakarott and his crying with that trauma, so naturally he wants to silence Kakarott for good. Which still doesn’t even begin to excuse the level of cruelty Broly displays, though - as Gohan put it, he’s pure evil. Even Broly himself proudly proclaims to be a freak, a monster, even a DEVIL! He really was a solid villain in his debut movie, who unfortunately became an utterly awful one in his two later comebacks and it turned him into an oversaturated mess of a character, which kills a lot of goodwill that some could have for him. Alas, another victim of his own popularity. Thank Kami for Super!

17. Mira and Towa - A demonic duo known as the Time Breakers. Mira is the muscle of the team, preferring to take on enemies with his special powers and enhanced physical capabilities, whereas Towa is both the brains and the true power behind things, possessing both powerful sorcery skills and advanced scientific knowledge that she uses for her sick little experiments. It turns out that Towa is actually the sister of Dabura himself, and Mira is a warrior that she created through alchemy. First appearing in the MMORPG, Dragon Ball Online, and reappearing in the Xenoverse games, Heroes, Fusions, Kakarot and more, these two fiends have been relentless, formidable, and devious in all of their appearances to date.

18. Sealas and Aeos - Two of the most notable exclusive villains to come out of Super Dragon Ball Heroes, owing a lot to their designs and how they're both fallen heroes connected to time and space. Sealas is the founding operative of the Time Patrol and a strict believer in cosmic justice and in the greater good of necessary evils, wishing to do what's righteous even if he has to break natural laws and alter history to do so. Taking "with great power there must come great responsibility" to its most extreme, unhealthy level, Sealas broke with the Time Patrol and concluded that evil itself must be eradicated, and that this can only be truly done if history is rewritten to exclude all evil. It's a bit familiar and akin to Zamasu's motives, but much more "puritan" and semi-heroic in style and substance. Aeos, meanwhile, is the former Supreme Kai of Time who predates the Time Patrol and she cares nothing for any moralistic ideals such as justice: she is concerned only with balance and natural order, believing the existence of multiple timelines to be a threat to that. Personality-wise, she's one of the most fascinating antagonists in the franchise, seeming haughty, cold, and disdainful towards mortal beings and dismissive of her successor, yet she also showcases softer, kinder qualities, does deeds that seem good and fair, and isn't always so above it all when it comes to tactful reactions and behavior. She's hard to peg down, but after joining up with Chronoa and the rest for the final battle with Demigra, she has a change of heart regarding the multiverse and makes peace with her successor.

19. Hearts - Also hailing from the Dragon Ball Heroes canon is this dude. Hearts is a pale elven man who leads the Core Area Warriors and is known as the God Hater for his acts of revolt against the cosmic divine pantheon of the multiverse, as he seeks to liberate all mortal beings from the gods' grip. In this sense, he's like a Reverse Zamasu, cursing the existence of deities and wanting to kill them all in order to achieve a truly "free" multiverse. While arrogant, brash, hypocritical and self-righteous, Hearts is one of the more principled and values-believing baddies. He believes strongly in the multiverse's "nourishment" but has no qualms with launching terrorist attacks on planets and killing countless people in order to free only the surviving remainers, and it's a hypocritical contradiction he openly admits to and welcomes with grace. He's a rare good boss for this franchise who values his mortal comrades, and he appreciates a good fight with strong opponents just as much as the likes of Goku. Fittingly, he makes a Heel Turn later on and becomes as cool an ally as he was an enemy. My one huge issue with him is in his design - I think the hair he had during his initial appearance as a villain is way too similar to that of Fu, which makes looking at him a bit confusing. Thankfully he got a longer, more spiked out, better hair style later on.

20. Jiren the Gray - In what’s almost a reverse of Majin Buu, I didn’t care for this guy at all when he first came on the scene but he had a fairly strong finish to his run. He was this cookie cutter big, strong, silent, uber powerful warrior whose character was flat, archetype was done to death, and he just there to be what you were made to think Hit was going to be back in the Universe 6 Saga. In fact, I wouldn’t have classified him as a villain and put him here at all had the final round of the Tournament of Power not gone the way it did. We gradually came to learn that Jiren did have a single belief he followed in addition to his conviction to being the strongest fighter for the sake of his universe - that trust in others only ends in pain and disappointment, and that friendship need not exist among allies and teammates. He’s here for alliances, never for bonds. We even get his dark and troubled backstory that informs why he thinks and acts the way he does, which made him a lot more interesting in retrospect. And finally there’s his show of power in the final battle of the tournament. Holy crap, this is like what Majin Buu should have been in terms of how his full power was expressed. Jiren just feels like a nigh unstoppable engine of raw power and destructive fury. He exudes pure stamina, and for fighters with the power that the likes of Goku, Vegeta, Freeza, and even Android 17 have, there could be no worthier opponent. And if his “villain” status was in doubt, he fucking throws an attack straight at Goku’s friends in a spiteful act that forces Goku to jump in the way and ultimately de-powers him, which does effectively ensure that it was then impossible to root for Jiren and we wanted to see him get his ass handed to him even more! But despite this, he also displayed some honor and displeasure in having to take Goku out in a dirty way as suggested by Belmond, making him hard to outright hate either. The final leg of the fight with him is nothing short of amazing and the way he goes down is incredibly satisfying to see. He even gets a very touching sendoff with his teammates and then when brought back into existence, shows signs of possibly rethinking things and starting to grow and change for the better, and his hope to have a rematch with Goku and the rest of Universe 7′s fighters might be a sign of more things in times yet to come.

21. Lord Slug - The main villain of Movie 4. While he's a flat character with little motivation beyond warfare and conquest of worlds, Slug mainly works for the twist that was pulled with his character, as well known as it is now. Him blatantly ripping off King Piccolo's shtick of being old and wishing for his youth restored should give it away, but the fact that Slug is Namekian is a big reveal in the film, because he actually went to lengths to hide that about himself, wearing a helmet that covers his antennaes and ears, and coverings around his arms and legs. This is what makes him stand out, the fact that he is an actual, genuinely, by choice evil Namekian, who in a brazen act of betrayal of his people has become an invading warlord who makes conflicts and kills others, going directly against the Namekian's peace-loving ways. He also happens to be a Super Namekian, one who can expand his size to even larger heights than even Piccolo could! His big fight with Goku was overall nothing to write home about save for that and the moment Goku becomes a False Super Saiyan, but how he gets defeated, I could never forget.

22. Bojack - The main villain of Movie 9, Bojack Unbound. As hard as it is to hear his name and not think of a certain Horse Man, Bojack was quite the credible threat with a slick design and a charismatic presence. The strongest, most ruthless and fearsome space pirate in the universe, he rought havock across all four galaxies before getting imprisoned by the Kais. He's also a flat character who just exists to provide this movie with a villain, and how he and his crew come into the plot is absolutely ludicrous - turns out he was imprisoned inside of King Kai's planet, somehow even surviving what Beerus did to it, but got released when it got blown up by self-destructing Cell. And then they go on to partake in a beat by beat repeat of the Cell Games. In a movie where the Cell Games were established to have occurred. That's the one thing that takes me out about him, but otherwise he gets the job done well enough and was badass enough to make repeat appearances in Fusion Reborn and games, most notably Dragon Ball Heroes, which fleshed out his character better.

23. Dr. Lychee/Hatchiyack - Technically Dr. Lychee is an old alien scientist and Hatchiyack is his creation that carries on his hateful mind and spirit after he's passed away, but they’re connected in that way so they’ve both got this spot here. Originating from The Plan To Erradicate The Saiyans, the first DBZ video game to actually have a plot and two different OVA adaptations to accompany it, Lychee actually has understandable reason to hate the Saiyans and want them wiped out because, well, the Saiyans when working under the Freeza Planet Trade Empire were horrible and he’s one of their many victims. Thus Hatchiyack was created to be the ultimate anti-Saiyan weapon. And clearly the idea behind this caught on with fans and creators alike, as both Dr. Myuu with Baby in GT and Dr. Paparoni with Aniraza in Super were clearly inspired by Dr. Lychee and Hatchiyack. In that way, this mad space doctor’s spirit still lives on.

24. Dr. Myuu - Speaking of ol’ Dr. Myuu, he’s one of the beter villains from the poorly done turd pile that was Dragon Ball GT. Being one part alien and one part machine, possessing a keen scientific mind and a feverish passion for his experiments, and having ambitions to control the universe and convert all of its denizens into his machines, Myuu was a cruel and treacherous villain who raised the stakes and darkened up the scene in a show that had begun as a stupid wacky throwback to DB’s roots but Recycled IN SPACE! From his very design, you can tell he's essentially Dr. Gero Recycled IN SPACE! He masterminded much of what went on in that initial saga by directing the Cult of Ludd from behind the curtian, had many intimidating robotic and cyborg henchman like General Rilldo (himself a decent antagonist too), even had Giru working with Goku, Pan and Trunks as a spy for him (or so he’d hoped), and the set of episodes on Planet M-2 where the heroes faced him down really was the high point of the GT series, especially when it reached it’s downright terrifying finale. Myuu himself was also the best part of the otherwise abysmal Super 17 saga, where he got to work with his counterpart Dr. Gero, and stab him in the back to try and rule Hell and Earth,

25. Baby - OK, his character is uninspired and derived from other, better villains, his arrival on Earth marked when GT took a turn for the increasingly worse and more boring, and his name is Baby: there is no fucking way I can take that as a serious villain. Yet despite all that, he's objectively the strongest GT-exclusive Big Bad. The idea behind his character arc is actually brimming with potential, how he's a living conduit of wrath against the Saiyans for all the victims they'd claimed as well as seeking a new planet to settle and populate, but in his fervor to achieve his goals he ends up becoming every bit as cruel, self-interested and power-mad as the Saiyans. He's also the source of some genuine horror and Paranoia Fuel with how he can extend his mind and possess anyone he chooses. The execution just fails him like it failed many others, including a needless extended takeover of Vegeta's body, a transformation into a giant golden gorilla, and getting killed while trying to flee rather than engaging in one final fight. Good for him that he's not the worst, but he still could've been much better than a weird pale Hatchiyack imitation.

Honorable Mentions:

Dr. Gero - This guy played Greater Scope Villain for the Red Ribbon Saga, the Androids/Cell Saga, and Dragon Ball Super: Superhero, not to mention had a part in other stuff like (ugh) the Super 17 Saga in GT and the storyline of FighterZ. Gero is unique in that he never really got to play the Big Bad role at any point despite having been the originally intended Big Bad for the Androids Saga, yet stands responsible for as much widespread damage as any Big Bad all due to the bitterness, hatred, malice and stubborn pride within him that refused to die even as he aged and lost all the family he had. While he thus couldn't make the list, it is commendable all the same.

Tienshinhan - Tien played the role of Big Bad for the 22nd Budokai Saga, fighting in the tournament under the guidance of his mentor, Master Shen the Hermit Crane. A good old fashioned martial arts antagonist in the vein of the Cobra Kai jerks in The Karate Kid, Tien played the role with exquisite disdain, cockiness, and cold blooded cruelty while also being the most interesting character who recieves great character development before his explosive bout with Goku and embarking on a compelling redemption arc for the next Sagas. Far from the franchise's best baddie, but servicable for what he was.

Babidi - Initially the primary antagonist of the Majin Buu arc before Buu himself killed him and went rouge to do his own shit, the dark wizard Babidi is completely vile and reprehensible, not to mention absolutely hideous, but managed to retain a certain charm and whimsy about him that is typical in Toriyama antagonists. The terror of Buu would not have been possible without him and his deceased father Bibidi, nor would the good stuff that came with it like the sacrificial redemption of Vegeta, the fusions of Goten and Trunks, and the character development of Mr. Satan! Oh, and the debut of...

Dabura - While introduced to the franchise as a cultist working with Babidi to revive Majin Buu, Dabura was also stated to be among the most powerful of lords from the demon realm, someone who even the Supreme Kai feared, and carried about him quite the fiendish, sinister presence, making how he got done in by Buu to feel like quite a waste. Thankfully, he's made a resurgance in video game canons like Xenoverse and Heroes, expanding upon him as a Big Bad devil!

Black Smoke Shenron - I actually don’t like this one - I just like the idea behind him. The concept that the great dragon diety of the Dragon Balls turns into a dark, evil creature as consequence of the Dragon Balls being overused for selfish wishes was a very inspired one, and that’s…actually an even better idea for a franchise final boss than Freeza, Cell, Buu, or Beerus, as it hearkens back to the very start of the story. So it's a damn shame that this concept had to be utterly wasted with the underwhelming, unitelligable usage of the 7 Shadow Dragons, even the cool looking Omega Shenron! Just give me the initial cigar chomping evil smoke dragon and I’m good!

#Dragon Ball #Dragon Ball Z #Dragon Ball GT #Dragon Ball Super #Dragon Ball Heroes #Xenoverse #villains #opinion #analysis

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jikanet-tanaka · 7 months

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Ideas for stories and such...

I'm a bit overwhelmed with plot bunnies right now, and I think writing them all out is the best way to get 'em all straight. So... here are a few ideas for future fics I'd want to write. I dunno which one(s) I should focus on first...

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla

A Saga Most Ordinary : I have ideas for two more chapters, one about Eivor playing Dungeons and Dragons with the three Good Boys, along with Hytham, Randvi and Tewdwr, and another about her and Valka Staging An Intervention because she thinks Sigurd went and joined some cult because of his new girlfriend (ie Fulke).

Untitled/maybe it’ll just be chapter two of an existing fic, I dunno: A new companion piece/sequel of sorts to ‘Nornir's Curse, Nótt's Counsel’ about Randvi and Valdis just hanging out (on the beach while their respective spouses watch over the young ‘uns) and talking about their (rather similar, really) lives.

Dishonored

Take Your Silver Spoon (Dig Your Grave) : A two-shot about two bastard-born princesses of the Kaldwin line. Part of it is already written, I just need to get off my ass and do something about it lol

You and Me and The Leviathan Makes Three : An AU where Daud survives the events of DoTO, and Billie is stuck trying to find new purpose in her life while teaching a god-turned-boy how to Human and a suicidal old man how to… not be a total wreck of a person . Oh, and the Abbey of the Everyman is falling apart all around them (which makes the Boysider happy, since his two newfound biggest goals in life are 1) to destroy organized religion and 2) to save the whales. Every chapter would be set in a different isle, with titles based on sea shanties.

Dracula

Untitled : A little one-shot about how Drac might have gotten to Mina on the night of October 3rd. Because the details are kinda hazy on that, right?

Final Fantasy XVI

The Tale of the Telamonides : Before the mission to Drake’s Head, Mid shows up to the Hideout to Bring Chaos and Shenanigans to everyone’s live. Because I was sad that we never did see her interact with Cid.

Gravity Falls

Dungeons and Dummies : …I need to finish this you guys, I already have it all planned out. I feel weirdly anxious about this story, mostly because I don’t happen to have the whole of the rules of D&D stamped in my brain (shocking, I know). It’s like I’m afraid I’ll have someone go, ‘hey, that’s not how it goes in the Player Handbook, page so-and-so blah blah blah ’ so I don’t even try, you know?? It’s a weird thing.

The Awesome Mixtape of the Apocalypse: A story where Dipper and Mabel’s parents join both sets of twins on a roadtrip to Gravity Falls. The concept would be that Mabel made a mixtape with songs for everyone in her family (so for example Ford definitely gets weird prog rock like this, listen my dad was a happier, most well-adjusted Ford, and that was his shit, car trips in my family were trippy), with each character represented by a particular musical style (the Pines mom’s got punk ska like Reel Big Fish and Streetlight Manifesto lol…) and each chapter corresponding to one song. I got every big story beat and character moment planned out, I just… need to get off my ass and write, I guess.

Horizon Zero Dawn/Forbidden West

Untitled : Aka Aloy watches Varl and Zo together, gets confused/frustrated, and shares a convo with Erend that helps her figure out she’s asexual. Sweet!

Untitled Rost and Ersa fic : Rost and Ersa, as ghosts, hang around Aloy and Erend for the events of the first game (and have a mini ship war about the merits of Ereloy as a couple). Also known as ‘Rost Gets Another Grumpy Daughter Because These Are Sure Fun To Collect Or Something’.

Mass Effect

Untitled : Just a little Shakarian ficlet about Shepard listening to Thane’s story about how he met his wife after the events in Garrus’ loyalty mission and her being like, oh, oh boy, oh no.

Radiant Historia

Will You Learn to Love (Without Consuming): A little one-shot set in the Apocrypha ‘verse which is not compliant with the canon shown in Perfect Chronology. Basically my take on who became the big Mana Monster causing the desertification (and why he’s a foil to both Heiss and the Conuts Guy).

Déjà Vécu : A one-short about Ernst and Heinrich (and, by association, Stocke and Heiss) because I guess that’s what I always write about in this damn fandom.

This Sweet Corrupting Reality : Basically the only parallel history I would have liked to see in Perfect Chronology, that is, Stocke wakes up and realizes he is now King Ernst of Granorg.

#Assassin's Creed Valhalla #ac valhalla #dishonored #Gravity Falls #Dracula #Final Fantasy XVI #Horizon Zero Dawn #Radiant Historia #Mass Effect #I'm tired y'all #i dunno what to do #tanakafic

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unpopularly-opinionated · 8 months

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Finished the One Piece Live Action and overall I'd give it an 8/10. Most of the actors are great at portraying their roles, and despite a few small (and two not so small) criticisms I had with the show, overall it still felt like One Piece, albeit a different version of it.

I sincerely hope they do a season two, despite my criticisms. I think they could easily do the Alabasta arc, even in just eight episodes, though I'd hope for more.

Logue Town

Reverse Mountain / Crocus / Laboon

Whiskey Peak

& 5. Skip Little Garden and go straight to Drum Island

6. , 7., & 8. Alabasta

Would be so awesome if they did that.

Spoilers below where I go in-depth about my criticisms, mainly for my own benefit.

Starting with the biggest criticism I had, I think it was genuinely a mistake for them to cut the Don Krieg fight because of how it really makes both Sanji deciding to join the crew, and Nami's iconic "Luffy, help me" scene kind of fall flat.

It messes up Sanji joining the crew because, without it there's really no reason for Sanji to even consider joining his crew. At that point, Luffy was just this random wannabe pirate captain who had been forced into becoming a dishwasher for the Baratie, and whose crew consisted of a half-dead swordsman, a liar, and a thief who betrayed them. Not to mention, said-wannabe pirate captain just had his ass handed to him and was looking to presumably get his ass handed to him again by the same guy while presumably going after a woman who stated clearly that she wanted nothing to do with them anymore. What about that screams: "Ah yes, I should quit my sure thing of a life and job to go hangout with these all-powerful, super intelligent, upstanding people!"

It also just sort of lessens the Nami moment later on because at that point she has no reason to even hope Luffy can beat Arlong, and literally every reason to believe he can't given that she'd literally just seen him lose to Arlong at the Baratie. Instead of it being an inspiration of hope at her lowest point, it became this pathetic last-ditch effort to beg for help from someone who she has every reason to believe can't help her.

This isn't to say that scene wasn't done well, for what it's worth. I thought Nami did a good job of recreating the scene pretty well honestly. It was just the setup to that moment that I had an issue with.

Beyond that, I had an issue with Sanji overall, but this is again connected to the fact that they cut the Don Krieg fight. Honestly, while I thought the Syrup Village was easily more enjoyable in live action than it was in the anime, I really wish they'd cut that arc down to just one episode and given Baratie the time it deserved to be what it needed to be. I know they had a lot to cram into just 8 episodes, but I really don't think they did the best of jobs deciding what was worth keeping and what was worth tossing.

Of course, I have to assume this was mainly due to budget and effects, hence why they also decided to cut out easily the best character in Arlong Park (probably hard to depict an 6-armed octopusman), Hatchan, who I would argue is far more important as a comedic relief character than one might expect, but I digress. His role in Arlong Park really helps relieve some of the tension, reminding everyone that this is supposed to be a goofy pirate show and not always some ultra serious, depressing drama series.

Other than all that, the show was great I thought. You really have to open your mind a bit and not be such a stickler to the source material, as I often find myself being. I really hope they do a season two though. I can see it being somewhat feasible for them to do an Alabasta Saga next. 1 ep for Logue Town, 1 for Reverse Mountain/Crocus, 1 for Whiskey Peak, skip Little Garden since ultimately it's not super important and just have Nami get sick some other way, 2 eps for Drum Island, and then I think Alabasta itself probably deserves 3 episodes so we can maybe see at least a couple of the fights.

I'd love to see Zoro solo the Millions, and especially his fight against Mr. 1 since I think that's a pivotal power-scaling moment for him when he cuts steel for the first time. Of course, you can't have Alabasta without Bon Clay, so seeing him and Sanji fight would be good. And then obviously, Luffy vs. Crocodile. I'm not sure where Nami, Usopp and Chopper would fit in, since I'm trying to think of how you'd keep this budget-friendly, and having them all fight their actual opponents I think would just be too much (especially Usopp & Chopper vs. Ms. Merry Christmas & Mr. 4).

#random #One Piece #One Piece Live Action #Netflix #tv shows #anime #review #no spoilers

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miscmonstro · 1 year

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The Uno Reverse Adoption Saga Comments Q&A

I’m so sorry I took so long :(

questions and answers below the line

Firstly: Things I clarified and feel could have caused some confusion:

Clarification 1: I do take suggestions! So long as no one is rude I love hearing other people’s thoughts/ideas/feedback/speculations/etc. ^_^

Clarification 2: The trio are all halfas. How? Why? What am I basing their abilities off of? Go read Third Time by DarkNympha, I genuinely cannot write anything better than that to capture the astoundingly awesome ideas and emotions than they did. I tried to write my halfa trio as close to how they were depicted there as possible because it is such a work of art. 20/10 would recommend!

Secondly, Questions:

1 Q: How did the trio die?

A: See 10 Q or refer to Clarification 2 :)

2 Q: What was the Scramble Incident?

A: A plot device. The scrambled tech is a challenge for the trio and it does indirectly cause a lot of opportunities/problems I can capitalize on in the story. Currently, fleshing out the incident over time and defeating the scrambler is planned be sort of like a “look how everyone’s changed” deal.

3 Q: Sam and Tucker have mechanical parts integrated to their ghost forms- do they get special functions?

A: Yep! Sam’s camera can take a picture of a person and the picture it shows is of their death! If it is a place it will show who or whatever died their last. She can control it to some degree by filtering out certain kind of death, like if she only wanted to see victims of drowning at a place, or if she only wanted info on cats that have died recently instead of whatever has died recently in general. They mostly used the camera in the scant old, unsolved cases to help some ghosts find peace (No one really gets murdered in Amity now a day so its old cases).

Tucker’s PDA is a living extension of himself and so it can’t really be hacked since he can just adjust things on the fly. Anything he has on his PDA is something he can remember. Say he used his PDA and texted someone a month ago- he’d remember the conversation clearly. Additionally he doesn’t have to focus as much as other ghosts to overshadow tech since the PDA acts as a catalyst (in a sense). I haven’t planned out the details of Tucker’s PDA as much as I have Sam’s camera as the camera becomes important sooner rather than later. Don’t be surprised if I tweak what the PDA can do ;)

4 Q: Has Jason mentioned Sam to anyone from the family yet? The Anti Ecto Acts seem like something Batman should know about.

A: He hasn’t! He looked through the acts, read the Fenton’s ‘research’ and realized that he fits the description of a violent non-feeling (he only really expresses anger or irritation these days) ghost pretty well. He doesn’t trust the others, especially Bruce, to see that ‘research’ and still think of him as a person. He’s not going to risk subjecting the trio to Batman either. It gets worse once he has access to the Amity side of the web and reads whatever bs the GIW has been spewing. It’ll get better though

5 Q: Danny has an ice core, so what cores do Sam and Tucker have?

A: I’ve combined strong electricity and fire into a plasma core, and that is what Tucker has. Sam has an earthy leaning nature core. Bonus info- Vlad has either a frail plasma core or a strong combustion nature core, Dani has an aqueous leaning nature core, and Clockwork has a temporal core.

6 Q: How old is everyone?

A: The trio are 16 and that makes Jazz 19 as she is 2 ish years older than them. Jason is legally 26, and I know that he was dead for 4 years so he’s arguably 22. He and everyone else considers him 26 in story though. I haven’t decided on anyone else’s ages as of yet but Damian is probably going to be 14 because Jason needs more crises for me to address later on.

7 Q: Are the Mansons/Jason worried that Sam is gone?

A: Addressed in the last 2 chapters! Directly: Jason was worried and now he’s… still worried. Indirectly: The Mansons, and the other party guests, are unconscious/unaware and are being carted off to hospitals. This’ll come up later.

8 Q: Is this on AO3?

A: Yes! You can go here and if that doesn’t work here is the link:

9 Q: Sam is Jewish. Why are her parents so concerned with Christmas?

A: This is less about religion and more about influence! They worry about the Christmas Gala because it’s a prestige thing to be invited and they care about their image too much not to go. It can be seen as a snuff if you don’t go and then Upperclass Politics Occurs. Additionally it’s a great time to socialize and do fancy rich people connections stuff. So yeah, their approach is based more the social aspect of the party than a religious one.

10 Q:

Referring to this I assume: “People who died with conviction strong enough to become an obsession or who died traumatically enough to became ghosts did so with fully matured cores.”

A: When I wrote that I was focusing on how someone died and the events leading up to their death in my mind. For example, if someone was convinced they were being stalked for days beforehand and then is murdered they might have more emotional buildup than someone who gets murdered suddenly out of the blue. I feel like there would be a limited window after a person dies that outside events could still impact if they become a ghost- like if the murderer from the previous scenario hid the body after doing the deed the person might gather more ectoplasm and linger because they want their body to be found (more emotions basically).

The death of the trio is the portal accident but Sam and Tucker got hit. I used Third Time as the basis for the trio (I highly recommend that read, I enjoyed it a ton). There are differences in abilities but for the most part I yoinked the fic as the background for the trio. I just… I did try to write a one shot in the same vein and then later when I was working out the details for the Halfa Trio I found myself just regurgitating Third Time in various ways. DarkNymfa knocked the ball out of the park. I just can’t do better than the original.

As far as Jason and his resurrection goes, I have not yet worked everything out and don’t want to say much on what I have decided on as that mystery is something that can act as a great tool to move the plot forward. Mysteries aren’t fun if they are figured out too quickly.

11 Q: Is Scarecrow a ghost?

A: Nope! He is liminal and the reason the trio mistook him for a ghost (besides his ghostly appearance) was that Jason, who was in the attic below them, triggered their ghost senses. They realized their mistake when Scarecrow/Crane didn’t fight Batman like a ghost would’ve. No intangibility, telekinesis, etc.

And that’s all. I’m sorry that some of these have been sitting in the comments for for months ^_^’

I’m going to try to get back into replying to comments so we’ll see how that goes.

#Miscmonstro writings #danny phantom #dp x dc #jason todd #danny fenton #tucker foley #sam manson #dp x batman

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andrewmoocow · 6 months

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Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 12: End of an Era (originally published on November 13, 2023)

AN: It's been almost three years, but at long last, we finally made it. The end of the Steven Universe: Alternate Future universe. What started as a shot at altering Future to include content cut from the original series, expanding on certain plotlines left hanging by show's end, and altering things to my own tastes grew into its own shared universe with so many characters I nearly lose track of on a regular basis and lore that I've practically built with my own two hands. To you, the lovers and dreamers who have been here the entire time from Steven, to the Black Pearls, to Black Rutile's trial, Little Homeworld, the Crystal Regime, and beyond, I thank you all for reading my take on Steven's universe and for all your support. By the time I finally post this, I think I might take a little break because is currently falling apart and they're so blissfully unaware of it. But don't take this as me abandoning you all, because I got tons more stories from the past and soon to come in the future for you all to read in the meantime. But I've done enough talking, it's time to close the book on this saga once and for all.

Synopsis: The final battle for the fate of all reality begins as Squamata possesses Nosiop to defeat the Crystal Gems and destroy the universe. As everyone fights for their lives to defend Serpentes and the cosmos at large, Steven learns one last important lesson.

"Enlightened warriors of clashing kinships come from afar to banish the Eclipse. Only when united in heart and mind can they stop the worlds from being aligned." The Lapidarist's prophecy was the only thing racing through the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds' heads as they stared at the fusion of Steven and Black Rutile standing tall and proud before them. The fusion was a tall, androgynous figure with curly hair and pink skin dressed in a traditional superhero costume while wearing Steven's shield and Black Rutile's sword, who gazed at their hands with an eager grin on their face.

"Awesome!" The fusion gasped in amazement at their new form before facing the others. "Hey, check it out, guys. We fused! Bet you didn't see that coming, huh?!"

"Uh, Steven." Connie said as she stepped up to the fusion.

"Black Rutile." White Topaz added.

"Is that still you in there?" they both asked.

"Of course, it's still me, Steven! Er, Black Rutile." The fusion declared, getting himself confused in the process. "Hm, what should I call myself?"

"Hey, can you make it quick?! You guys got a snake monster to fight!" Amethyst exclaimed before the fusion got an idea.

"I think I got it! You can call me Rutilated Quartz!" Rutilated Quartz introduced himself. "Isn't that awesome?!" He then turned to face Squamata, slowly leaving Serpentes. "Now, if you'll excuse me, this looks like a job for Rutilated Quartz." Before they could fly off into the air like the superhero they were dressed as, someone called out for him.

"Wait, Rutilated Quartz!" Ronaldo said as he raced up to the fusion and took a knee in respect. "A great warrior needs a great weapon, and that is why I bequeath to thee my Shining Finger Sword from Mobile Home Warrior Gatha." He then handed the blade to Rutilated Quartz, who took it and examined it for a moment while it glowed with a holy radiance, no doubt the Lapidarist's final gift to her children. "Give him a few stabs for me with that, okay?"

"I promise, Ronaldo." Rutilated Quartz smiled before returning and lifting into the air to face Squamata. As everyone on Serpentes's surface got further and further away from them, the combined thoughts of Steven and Black Rutile began emerging in their head.

"So, Black Rutile, are you ready for your first battle to save the universe?" Steven asked his new fusion partner.

"I have to admit, this is a little strange." Black Rutile replied. "But I'm willing to try anything once."

When Rutilated Quartz reached Squamata, the snake of darkness possessing Prince Nosiop was already preparing to devour the planet of Serpentes below him when he spotted Rutilated Quartz flying towards him. "Ah, the ultimate fusion, we meet at last." Squamata sneered at his opponent. "I must admit, you certainly kept me waiting. I thought Gem would be the warrior to slay me, but I guess the prophecy was wrong. Besides, look what you need to do to mimic even a fraction of my power."

"Well, I'm nothing like Gem, I am a warrior of awesome power who fights for love and for justice!" Rutilated Quartz introduced themselves while striking a pose. "I am Rutilated Quartz! And in the name of the moon, I'll punish you!"

"Heheheh, you're positively adorable." Squamata snickered evilly while baring his vessel's fangs. "I'm going to feed you your own heart." Squamata charged at Rutilated Quartz with a sinister laugh, who just smirked in response before racing into the final battle.

As the final battle between Rutilated Quartz and Squamata commenced, everyone remaining on Serpentes gathered around where the Lapidarist died from Squamata's poison just moments ago to mourn the death of the creator of all Gemkind.

"We are gathered here today to pay final respects to our honored dead." King Cobralan declared with a eulogy. "And yet it should be noted, amid our sorrow, this death takes place in the shadow of a new beginning, the sunrise of a new era for not just the Slytherophidian people, but the universe at large."

"Just when we were getting to know the deceased, her life was heartlessly taken by an unstoppable monster bent on destroying everything we loved and then some." Yellow Diamond added while fighting back tears. "A wise man once said that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. But while she did die in shame, she also perished knowing that she would be redeemed, and we will not debate her profound wisdom during this last battle. Of all the creatures we have met in our years of existence, she was among the most human."

"Oh, how adorable that you're mourning the death of someone you barely knew." Pyth snickered as he and Squamata's remaining heralds stood side by side with an army of shadow demons ready to kill their enemies. "Though, at the very least, you'll get to know the Lapidarist better once we destroy you all."

"We won't let you get away with this." Garnet stated fiercely while readying her gauntlets. "As long as there are those willing to fight, you will never claim victory."

"Yeah, step off!" Amethyst added before snatching up one of the demons with her whip and making it disappear by jumping on its head. "I just turned one of your monsters into a Goomba! How do you like that?!"

"Oh, you think you're being cute?" Velhallen Beo snarled.

"Given time, you'd find us quite adorable," Pearl smirked in reply. "Now then, I believe someone wants to speak with you all." Cobralan then slithered past the Crystal Gems to confront Pyth and his cult.

"Pyth, I thought you were better than this." Cobralan snarled at his former advisor. "I have known you since I was a boy. You have loyally served my family for decades, and this is how you treat us?! Controlling my son like a puppet and using him as a vessel for that abomination!" He then pointed at the sky where the Squamata-possessed Nosiop was fighting Rutilated Quartz. "I'll have your head for this!"

"Not if I have yours first." Pyth confidently retorted while drawing his sword.

"It's treason then," Cobralan responded before taking out his sword and clashing with his former advisor. Pyth had been like family to Cobralan ever since he was a young prince set to take over the throne, but hearing that Pyth had been plotting behind his back for years was a betrayal unlike any other. Yet he couldn't bear to think about how betrayed he felt; his wife and children's safety was first on the Slytherophidian king's mind, and it was set on defending his family and his species.

"Oh, don't be too down on yourself, my liege!" Pyth laughed arrogantly. "It will all be over soon! You're all going to die anyway, and who knows? Maybe father and son can finally be reunited in Heaven-" Pyth was quickly interrupted when Cobralan took advantage of his boasting by stabbing the advisor square in his heart. "So that's how it is, huh?" Pyth then collapsed to the ground, followed by Cobralan retrieving his sword from the advisor's freshly killed body before glaring at the remainder of Squamata's heralds.

"You don't seem to understand." Cobralan declared fiercely to Beo, Mr. Manco, and Torius Vosania. "My world isn't yours to conquer." He then pointed his blood-soaked sword at the three villains. "ATTACK!" At his command, the Crystal Gems, the Diamonds, the Contest of Champions competitors, and everyone else who volunteered to save Serpentes all charged into one last battle for the fate of the universe. An entire universe, once and for all.

High above Serpentes's atmosphere, Rutilated Quartz fought bravely against Squamata, using new powers they weren't sure Steven or Black Rutile had before. They were faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to soar like leaping tall buildings in a single bound, and were phenomenally talented with the swords they dual-wielded in conjunction with Steven's shield.

"Woo, this is so awesome!" Rutilated Quartz cried excitedly, firing lasers from his eyes before grabbing a meteor with his bare hands and smashing it into Squamata's face. "Aw yeah, this is happening!"

"This is not a game, fusion!" Squamata roared. "Can't you see how fruitless your mission is?! No matter how many minds you may change with your compassion and pacifism, all creatures, whether organic or otherwise, are doomed by this discordant system to fight and kill each other for all eternity!"

"Sheesh, dude, no need to be such a Debbie downer!" Rutilated Quartz frowned at Squamata's nihilism while drawing his sword. "Yeah, everybody fights with each other; it's the circle of life, and it moves us all and all that. Heck, I'm something of a fighter myself, even though I would much rather try to ask first and punch people later." He emphasized each point by blocking Squamata's attacks with their blade. "Everyone, even those who proudly call themselves irredeemable monsters, can be capable of change. They gotta find the strength within to atone for what they've done."

"Such paltry sentiments from one who is about to die!" Squamata roared before lunging at his fated opponent.

"I've lived my life by those sentiments. They're well worth dying for." Rutilated Quartz declared before charging towards Squamata.

Deep within Rutilated Quartz's psyche was the fusion realm that Steven and Black Rutile were situated in while they were fused. The realm itself heavily resembled Rose's room with the pink clouds surrounding the fusion's components, but there were also hints of black hiding in the sky. In addition to the newly formed duo of former enemies, they were also joined by Steven's other half, Inner Steven, who was doing most of the fighting while Steven and Black Rutile stood back-to-back in debate with each other.

"Everyone can be capable of change, pshaw!" Black Rutile snarked. "After all he did to me, Nosiop is better off dying with Squamata once we finally slay him!"

"But Black Rutile, you know that Nosiop is just as much of a victim as he is a perpetrator!" Steven exclaimed. "He wanted his father to notice him, but that let Pyth control him and turn him into that thing! He needs to learn a healthier way of getting his ideas across!"

"Just because I was convinced that my way of thinking was unhealthy doesn't mean he'll be the same!" Black Rutile argued back. "You have to accept that you can't save everybody!"

"Can the two of you agree on something already?" Inner Steven asked while trying to keep Squamata at bay. "I can't keep piloting this body for long. One of you has to take my place."

"We're in the middle of something here." Black Rutile said to Inner Steven. "Go back to doing your job!"

"Steven, can't you think of a good argument so we can blow this thing and go home?" Inner Steven compelled his more moral half.

"Perhaps we can help." The voice of Rose Quartz added as she, Pink Diamond, Smoky Quartz, Sunstone, Rainbow Quartz 2.0, and Obsidian appeared in the fusion realm. "Hello again, Steven. Oh, and Negative Steven, too. What a surprise."

"I prefer to be called Inner Steven now; we've made amends since then," Inner Steven said. "What are all of you doing here?"

"So, we meet again at last, Pink Diamond." Black Rutile greeted Pink Diamond. "I hope you realize I am not here to fight this time. As hard as it is to believe, I have changed my ways in the centuries since we last met."

"Oh, I'm not necessarily the Pink Diamond you know, Black Rutile." Pink explained to the Rutile. "I am a manifestation of Steven's thoughts, which represents the Gem side of him."

"And I represent his human side," Rose added.

"Well, what about the fusions here?" Black Rutile asked. "What do they embody?"

"As the fusion of Steven and Amethyst, I naturally represent his childlike wonder and sense of fun!" Smoky Quartz introduced herself to Black Rutile.

"I'm the fusion of Steven and Garnet, who embodies Steven's cool attitude in the face of danger!" Sunstone added before turning to speak to no one in particular. "Which reminds me, when you're faced with a situation that seems impossible, you always gotta persevere!"

"Don't mind her. That's just what she does." Rainbow 2.0 said. "Anyways, I am Rainbow 2.0, the fusion of Steven and Pearl who personifies his more feminine side." After flipping his hair with a girlish chuckle, Rainbow then pointed their parasol up towards Obsidian. "And that's Obsidian, the fusion of all core four Crystal Gems and the personification of Steven's desire to protect the ones he loves," Obsidian said nothing, only looking down at Black Rutile with disdain. "Don't mind them. They're the strong, silent type."

"Okay, if you're all parts of my mind, then what do you think we should do?" Steven asked the embodiments of his mind while summoning a control panel for them to operate. "I want to find a way to reach out to Nosiop, but Black Rutile here says he's beyond redemption."

"This is a tough situation, to be sure," Rose declared as Rutilated Quartz continued fighting Squamata. "Yes, Nosiop was a megalomaniac, but Pyth also took advantage of him from a young age and turned him into what he is today."

"Yeah, he just needs some good influences in his life!" Sunstone agreed with Rose.

"Maybe if he had someone to relate to, then we might stand a chance." Smoky theorized. "Anyone wish to volunteer?" Everybody then looked at Black Rutile.

"Okay, as much as I don't want to agree, I sympathize with how Nosiop's world came crashing down on him," Black Rutile declared. "The prince's decisions weren't entirely his to make, and he needs to learn to think for himself rather than let others make decisions for him." At that moment, she turned to Steven. "Steven, I need you to use whatever power you have to send me into Squamata's mind so I can find Nosiop."

"Don't need to ask me twice." Steven said while rolling up his sleeves and taking Black Rutile by the hand. "Okay, now hold on tight!"

"Good luck out there, love," Rainbow 2.0 said sweetly. Steven pressed his index and middle fingers to his forehead, using his astral projection powers to transfer Black Rutile from his mind to Squamata's.

Once Black Rutile was warped inside Squamata's mind, she discovered that death, destruction, and the end of all things were the only things on the dark snake's mind. As a result, she was forced to run from one natural disaster to another in her search for Nosiop. "Is this the mindscape of a cosmic being?" she muttered to herself. "Not something I ever thought I would be running through."

"Help. Someone, help me." Nosiop weakly cried out, causing Black Rutile to turn her head to find the prince of Serpentes crucified atop a hill below an oversized silhouette of the Lapidarist in the distance. "Please, I'm sorry for everything."

"Nosiop, calm down there, kiddo." Black Rutile said. "It's me, Black Rutile. You know, the one you betrayed and nearly sacrificed to Squamata? That Gem? Remember?"

"I wish I could, but I barely can," Nosiop replied feebly. "Ever since I was turned into Squamata's vessel, he has slowly been erasing my original self to take over my body easier. It's only a matter of time before I'm no longer myself." He then started screaming in pain from electric shock, indicating to Black Rutile that he was losing more of his personality. "Father, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't bother fighting back! Your father has abandoned you!" Squamata taunted Nosiop, his smug tone echoing in his mind. "You truly have no hope of ever earning his forgiveness after how you've treated him recently!"

"You have no power over this boy, snake!" Black Rutile immediately rushed to Nosiop's defense, much to the prince's surprise. "He is simply a victim of toxic influence in his formative years and now wishes to change himself for the better. I can relate to that. I will not let another soul be a victim of such madness as I have!"

"Madness? No." Squamata replied. "THIS IS SQUAMATA!" The snake god laughed maniacally as Nosiop was electrocuted once again. This time, he made sure to make the torturous deprivation of himself even more painful while Black Rutile tried to free the prince. "Don't bother saving him, you worthless rock. The deed was already done before you even got here."

"I can still try!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "Listen to me, Nosiop. Your father may not be good at showing it, but he still loves you no matter what! Just think of that love and try to break out!"

Nosiop stopped screaming for a moment as he lingered on Black Rutile's words and then thought back to the last thing his father had said to him before Squamata possessed him. "A human told me that I wasn't the best parent towards you. He knows from experience, for he is a father much like me, a father who also debated with himself on whether he was a good parent to his son." Cobralan's voice rang in Nosiop's head. "But at the end of the day, he accepted that no matter how much he treasured his child, he still needed to grow and change as a man himself."

And so, through his own sheer willpower, Nosiop resisted the electrocution as he wrestled his way out of the cross he was made prisoner of, screaming in further agony as he successfully broke out and collapsed in Black Rutile's arms. "It will take more than your head games to stop me, Squamata!" Nosiop cursed the evil snake. "You may have taken my mind and my body, but there is one thing I will always keep! My love for my people!"

"There. That wasn't so bad, was it?" Black Rutile asked while helping Nosiop up. "After all, you can't have others carry you around forever. You should plant your own roots. I once carried myself on the roots of others, but I guess I was wrong. We are stronger together." She took a deep breath before gazing out into the infinite horizons of Squamata's mind. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to give Steven a lift. Try not to do anything stupid while I'm gone, okay?"

When Black Rutile stuck out her hand, she expected to shake hands with Nosiop as a sign of their newly forged trust. Instead, she received a hug from the prince, happy that he could become a genuine friend to Black Rutile without manipulating her for his twisted plans. Black Rutile smiled while gently stroking Nosiop's back before tapping her forehead, cuing Steven to bring her back to Rutilated Quartz's mind.

"Everyone, give me cover!" Cobralan yelled as he raced with Constricta and Naja to their castle while the Crystal Gems helped fight off Squamata's minions, while the Coalition of Galaxies arrived to assist in the battle. "My people are in disarray; they need a leader to guide them!"

"Way ahead of you, your grace!" Peridot said before she lifted Torius and Manco by their cybernetics and smashed them against each other. "Haha, yes!"

"Come on, guys. We haven't got much time left before they overwhelm us!" Connie said as she slashed at shadow creatures swarming the castle. "Peedee, it has been a privilege going on this adventure with you."

"You too, Connie." Peedee replied before firing at another shadow demon with a laser rifle given to him by Captain Boa. "Hey, Boa, you mind if I take this home with me when we save the universe?"

"Okay, but you must promise me never to actually fire it. That rifle should only be for show." Boa advised Peedee before blushing. "Plus, I am quite attached to my weapons, just so you know."

"Less talking, more blocking!" Bismuth shouted while keeping Velhallen Beo at bay. "Naja, get your old man to the Ouraborium!"

"Right, Bismuth!" Naja nodded to Bismuth before turning to her parents. "Mother, father, follow me!"

"Right behind you, dear Naja!" Constricta said as the princess led her parents to the abandoned arena. The shadow creatures began getting closer, but suddenly, Aescul jumped in at the last moment to hold the line. "Aescul!"

"Fly, you fools!" Aescul yelled as he sacrificed himself to protect the remaining royals while the shadows overwhelmed him, leaving his fate undecided as the family reached the Ouraborium.

"Your sacrifice will not be in vain, my friend." Cobralan prayed for Aescul before clearing his throat and making an announcement. "PEOPLE OF SERPENTES, HEAR YE, FOR YOUR KING HAS RETURNED!" he announced. "I know everything looks scary right now, what with the mighty Squamata that we once worshipped wreaking havoc on the universe, and only a Gem fusion can stop him, but the events of today have told me that I've been neglecting the needs of my fellow snakes for far too long. I was more interested in keeping everyone entertained, and it caused me to drift away from my beloved children, one of whom is forced to become a vessel for that heinous snake god while his thralls seek to destroy the universe. So I ask you, my fellow snake people, do you hear me?! Do you hear the people sing?!"

A couple of scrambling Slytherophidians stopped to hear Cobralan's speech. They listened to how his desire to entertain had blinded him and distanced him from his family before compelling them to fight back and reclaim their world. And then one of them started singing.

"Do you hear the snake people sing, singing the song of the universe?" one of the elderly hecklers began singing. "It is the music of a planet that refuses to succumb to the curse!"

"When the rattle of your tail echoes a tyrant's last wails, there is a new life that will begin when tomorrow hails!" the other heckler joined his companion.

"Will you join in our crusade to defend all that lives and breathes?" the other Slytherophidians sang in harmony. "This may be our last chance, so find a sword to unsheathe! We'll fight together for a chance for all of us to be free!"

The heralds gaped in shock as the Slytherophidians armed themselves with whatever they could find and began overwhelming the shadow creatures with their makeshift weapons while their singing continued. "Do you hear the snake people sing, singing the song of the universe? It is the music of a planet that refuses to succumb to the curse! When the rattle of your tail echoes a tyrant's last wails, there is a new life that will begin when tomorrow hails!"

"What is the meaning of this?!" Velhallen Beo shrieked in terror as the Slytherophidians were prepared to give their lives for the sake of all life in the universe and beyond. "Isn't this what Nosiop wanted, for the Slytherophidians to be united as conquerors?!"

"Well, one thing's for certain." Mr. Manco stated. "We're as good as conquered!"

"Then we'll fight until the last man!" Torius yelled, firing his weapons from his cybernetics at the incoming army while Cobralan watched his people dedicate their hearts to their king from afar.

"See, Nosiop? You weren't wrong after all," Cobralan said, gazing at the sky. "Steven, Black Rutile. The rest is up to you."

Above Serpentes, the battle between Rutilated Quartz and Squamata peaked as the two fighters went at each other like predator and prey. Thanks to Black Rutile's help in freeing Nosiop from Squamata's possession, Squamata's physical body was weakening. But even still, the dark snake remained resilient. "You may have broken my control over my slave, but I will not stop until I have destroyed you, fusion!"

"That's what you think, Squamata!" Rutilated Quartz said with a fearless, playful smile that quickly turned to shock when Squamata launched himself at them and bit down hard on the fusion's arm, infecting him with the same venom that killed the Lapidarist. Luckily, Steven's healing factor kept the infection at bay, but it only delayed a possible death.

"I cannae do it, Captain!" Smoky Quartz yelled in a Scottish accent from within Rutilated Quartz's mind. "I'm giving her all she's got, but she can't take anymore!"

"This is bad. We need to think of something quick!" Rainbow 2.0 agreed in fear. "Steven, any ideas?!"

"You mean me?" Steven and Inner Steven pointed at themselves and then at each other.

"Either of you will do!" Sunstone exclaimed.

"Wait, I think I got an idea!" Steven declared. "I'm going to need everyone with me for this one!"

"We'll always have your back, Steven." Rose replied. "Let's do this."

"I call upon everyone across the entire universe!" Rutilated Quartz yelled while pointing his sword to the sky. "Please, GIVE ME YOUR ENERGY!" After generating a small pink energy sphere at the tip of Ronaldo's blade, Rutilated Quartz began gathering energy from all life forms across the universe. Not just from Serpentes, Earth, and Homeworld, but every corner of the cosmos as well. They got energy collected from Dangan-40 to Boba-80, Acidia, Zembilla, Bopbe, Aozul-2, Lancerik-40, Chazelle, Teslein, Sergione-29, Blacropolis, Invisibo-9, Kyukanza, Dathofar, Hifotia, the Bogon Galaxy, the Twilight Zone, Quarron, the Aeron Galaxy, the Sky Canopy Domain, the Pegasus Galaxy, the Seraphia Galaxy, the Upside Down, Hellknight's Lot, the Makyo Star System, Melmac, Spira, Cepheus-18, Aldebaran, Thra, Zeenu, Shuggazoom, Petropia, Cavenousya, Demorgon-419, Gustafring, Utrokrang-847, Tweenis 12, the Ood, the Shamoians, the Mooninites, the Watchdogs, Copper-9, Tritek, and many, many more planets and species from all over willing to donate to Rutilated Quartz's giant sphere. When they felt like he collected enough energy, RQ absorbed it into their sword, causing the blade to glow a brilliant pink.

"Do you see it, Squamata?" Rutilated Quartz asked while the blade of Ronaldo's anime sword glowed like a star in his grasp. "This sword, THIS SWORD IS BURNING LIKE A STAR! IT GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER!" With a mighty swing, Rutilated Quartz struck the gigantic god of snakes with the fury of a gladiator. "ITS BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU!"

"NO, I WILL NOT LOSE!" Squamata roared, preparing one last attack to destroy Rutilated Quartz. The mighty fusion was undeterred, preparing the killing blow.

"TAKE THIS!" Rutilated Quartz screamed as the sword stabbed a hole in space and began tearing open a rip. "MY LOVE, MY HOPE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY SORROW!" After ripping open a hole in the universe, the god of snakes felt himself being torn out of Nosiop's body and sucked into the tear. "There, now you can have all the planets you want to devour. But you will never harm this universe for as long as it lives."

"PETULANT FOOL, THIS WILL ONLY DELAY THE INEVITABLE!" Squamata roared as he struggled to escape his confinement. "So long as darkness and hatred haunt this plane of existence, I will return one day and finish what I have started! Who do you think you are?!"

"Who am I, you may ask?" Rutilated Quartz replied with a dramatic monologue. "Am I a Crystal Gem, a Rutile Rebel, or a Diamond? No, I am all of them. I am the fusion of Steven Universe and Black Rutile, the enlightened warriors of clashing kinships. Now they are united in heart and mind, and they shall stop the worlds from becoming aligned." At the final word, Rutilated Quartz, empowered by the energy of his friends, family, and the populace of the entire universe, stabbed the snake of darkness clean in his blackened heart before removing their blade and letting Squamata fall into the rift.

"STEEEEE-VEEEEEN UNIVEEEEEEERSE!" Squamata screamed as he was fully absorbed by the rift and imprisoned for all eternity in a barren universe with no hope of escaping. To ensure Squamata would never find a way out, Rutilated Quartz took one final swing of their sword to close the rift, ending the god of snakes' menace once and for all.

Rutilated Quartz took a breath and smiled triumphantly as they gazed out into the vast space. "I did it." They declared. "Now for a little reunion." Spotting Nosiop's unconscious body, Rutilated Quartz grabbed it using one of Steven's bubbles before returning to Serpentes, where the Crystal Gems eagerly awaited their friends' safe return.

"Steven!" Lapis cried out in delight as the Crystal Gems won the war against the heralds and brought them all to justice. Sylvia Spectre and Chief Max Impact led Beo, Manco, and Torius away in chains as the two turned to watch the masses cheer for Steven and Black Rutile.

"STEVEN, STEVEN, STEVEN, STEVEN, STEVEN!" the Slytherophidians chanted happily as Rutilated Quartz took one last bow before un-fusing, leaving only Steven and Black Rutile, who now carried Nosiop in her arms.

"Excuse me, Your Highness, but I believe this is yours." Black Rutile said, handing Nosiop back to Cobralan before receiving the tightest of victory hugs from White Topaz while Steven was congratulated by his friends and family on a job well done.

"How does it feel to save the universe from an all-powerful god of destruction?" Amethyst asked as Steven was surrounded by the Crystal Gems.

"Exhilarating." Steven said. "I really thought I was going to die there from that venom. Thankfully, it disappeared when I cut Squamata out of Nosiop and sent him packing!"

"However, Squamata did say that as long as darkness and hatred existed in this universe, he will find a way back." Black Rutile replied.

"And we'll be ready for him." Greg declared proudly. "Every single one of us."

As relief and excitement washed over the humongous crowds of various species from across the universe, Aescul limped back to the royal family, horribly injured but miraculously still alive. "What did I miss?" he gasped with a smile. "Looks like the prince is finally back."

"Father, I'm so sorry for-" Nosiop tried apologizing for his actions before Cobralan shushed him.

"There is no need to apologize, my child. You've done enough." Cobralan said softly before hugging his son. "I don't care what you've done or how much agency you've had. I'm just happy that we're all together again."

As night began to fall on Earth, the people of Beach City waited patiently for Steven and the Crystal Gems' return so that they could finally get Steven's 18th birthday party started. Suddenly, Onion felt a breeze and gazed upwards at the massive spaceship flying towards the Crystal Temple before waving his hands to signal everybody else. When the ship landed, and the townies gathered to see who was going to disembark, a massive door opened and out came Steven and friends, returned to Earth at long last. It wasn't just them coming to Beach City either; all of their extraterrestrial friends they met at the Contest of Champions had also invited themselves to Steven's birthday, happy to be introduced to his human friends.

"Hey everyone, we're back!" Steven smiled and waved to the people of Beach City, who all cheered uproariously in response. "Hope you don't mind that we brought some uninvited guests."

"Dad!" Ronaldo and Peedee yelled as they raced towards Mr. Fryman and finally reunited with him.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but after spending so much time on Serpentes, I kind of missed Earth." Black Rutile chuckled happily before turning to Steven. "Say, are you still accepting applications for Little Homeschool? I think I'd like to finally join to make up for what I've done."

"Of course, welcome to Earth!" Steven chuckled happily and hugged Black Rutile when he noticed Cobralan standing behind him. "Oh, hey, your majesty. Got something to say?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Cobralan said and cleared his throat. Before he could make another speech, Bialyoom and Meinerr decided to introduce the king first.

"Greetings-people-of-Earth, I-am-Bialyoom-Milamin-and-this-is-my-partner-Meinerr, speaking-to-you-all-on-behalf-of-the-mighty-King-Cobralan-Jormagundr-of-the-Serpentes-Empire!" Bialyoom said at rapid-fire speeds before gesturing to Cobralan.

"That is right. He is but one of the venerated Universal Lords ruling over, well, the universe, and you have the privilege of meeting him in person!" Meinerr proclaimed. "Now then, your highness, anything you'd like to say?"

"Yes, I do, madame," Cobralan said before clearing his throat again. "People of Earth, do not be alarmed. Though our appearances may seem alarming, we come in peace. As of today, I declare the Contest of Champions over after 420,000 years."

"Nice!" Amethyst yelled, prompting Pearl to smack her upside the head for such a dirty joke. "Hey, he was asking for it!"

"Anyways, from here on out, I wish for you all to take me to your leaders so that Earth may open itself up to being inhabited by other alien species!" Cobralan continued. "Including many whose homes were lost to the colonization of the Diamonds! In fact, here come some of them now!" Just then, another ship dropped down, and out came the former inhabitants of Invisibo-9, bringing a tear to Sylvia's eye as her people finally had somewhere to call home. "Just as a fair warning, some of them may get a little quirky, so best to keep a close eye on them."

"Enough talk! Let's get this birthday started!" Garnet yelled as Connie brought out a Cookie Cat-shaped birthday cake for Steven.

"Make a wish, Steven!" Connie suggested as Steven blew out his eighteen candles. "What did you wish for?"

"I think I already made my wish," Steven said happily before he started to sing. "Here we are in the future. Here we are in the future once again. Here to cherish each moment I'm spending with friends." He then kissed Connie romantically. "I know, we'll change. It may be strange, but here we are, and the future never ends."

"And here we are!" the Crystal Gems added in chorus.

"If I could have just stopped, I would never have gotten to see." Black Rutile added, now happily singing along as well. "This future for us, this future for them, this future for me!"

"Here we are in the future!" White Topaz joined in on the song as everyone around them started swaying lighters, flashlights, and other light sources.

"Here we are in the future!" Aquamarine and Eyeball added happily.

"And even as we take a final bow, because of this, I'll always think of how." King Cobralan, Nosiop, and the Diamonds proclaimed. "There may be other battles to be won; my life, unlike the story, isn't done."

"So, happily, we'll face whatever comes our way." The Rutile Rebels, the Little Homeworld Gems, the Contest of Champions competitors, and the Rutile Rebels joined the chorus. "And after, we might do it all again!"

"Here we are in the future," Aescul added, his eyes filled with tears of joy, as his people no longer needed to hide from humanity.

"Here we are the future!" Spinel added happily before giving Volleyball a comically huge kiss, causing the Pearl to blush before kissing Spinel in return.

"And maybe we will change. And, yes, it might be strange, but here we are in the future with our friends." Steven, Black Rutile, and Cobralan sang together before Steven pulled out his phone to take a selfie of the three of them with his birthday cake.

"And so, happily ever after never ends." Steven and Black Rutile sang one last time before taking the picture, signifying their newfound friendship and a new era for the Gems and the entire universe. In the background of the picture behind Cobralan, one could see an outline of the Lapidarist in the distance, as if she was watching over them all even after her death. Here they all were in the future, together as friends at last in a world where they would never have to fight again.

THE END

STEVEN UNIVERSE: ALTERNATE FUTURE

BASED OFF THE HIT CARTOON NETWORK ANIMATED SERIES BY REBECCA SUGAR

STARRING:

Zach Callison as Steven

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Famethyst, Blue Lace Agate, Ocean Jasper, Crazy Lace Agate, Chert

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Volleyball, Black Pearl Brigade, Mega Black Pearl

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Grace Rolek as Connie

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli, Phoenix Lapis Lazuli

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Cherry Quartz, Rose Trio, Angel Aura Quartz, Zebra Jasper, Skinny Jasper, Carnelian, Biggs Jasper, Flint, Dalmatian Jasper

Dee Bradley Barker as Lion

Charlyne Yi as Ruby, Eyeball, Navy, Doc, Army, Leggy

Erica Luttrell as Sapphire, Padparadscha Sapphire

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Lisa Hannigan as Blue Diamond

Christine Ebersole as White Diamond

WITH:

Matthew Moy as Lars

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Atticus Shaffer as Peedee

Neil Flynn as Aescul

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Awkwafina as Kyanite

Allison Janney as Pyrite

Zehra Fazal as Zoisite

Lena Hall as Bloodstone

Jodie Whittaker as Xenotime

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope, Envyrno

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid, Eyeball Demantoid

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald, Chest Emerald

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Gina Torres as Andesine

Barbara Dunkelman as Amber

Kristen Schaal as Howlite

Sarah Stiles as Spinel

Olivia Olson as Citrine, Citrine Twins

Christine Baranski as Hessonite

Enuka Okuma as Rhodonite

Kathleen Fisher as Fluorite

Ashly Burch as Rutile Twins

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Aparna Nancherla as Nephrite

Ian Jones Quartey as Snowflake Obsidian, Bixbite

Michelle Maryk as Larimar

Auli'i Cravalho as Orange Spodumene

Kimiko Glenn as Blue Chalcedony

Tara Platt as Cubic Zirconias

Tara Strong as Grossular Diopside

Phillipa Soo as Chrysocolla

Anika Noni Rose as Watermelon Tourmaline (fusion), Watermelon Tourmaline

Aimee Carrero as Moonstone

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Maddie Ziegler as Serpentine

Courtenay Taylor as Beryl

Emily King as Kunzite

Alex Newell as Monazite

Cavetown as Diaspore

Sarah Jessica Parker as Dumortierite

Alex Newell as Monazite

Aimee Mann as Opal

Nicki Minaj as Sugilite

Alexia Khadime as Sardonyx

Billie Eilish as Turquoise

Esme Bianco as Malachite

Catherine Tate as Lepidolite

Larissa Gallagher as Bluebird Azurite

May Calamawy as Chrome Chalcedony

Maggie Robertson as Painite

Ted Leo as Steg

AJ Michalka as Stevonnie

Frank Welker as Tungsten

David Kaye as Steel

Corey Burton as Chromium

Peter Cullen as Titanium

Bumper Robinson as Gold

Scott McNeil as Iron

Jeffrey Combs as Mercury

Hailee Steinfeld as Zinc

FEATURING:

Aurelio Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundr

Jason Marsden as Prince Nosiop Jormagundr

Shirley Millner as Queen Constricta Jormagundr

Cissy Jones as Princess Naja Jormagundr

Henry Rollins as Captain Boa

Keith David as Pyth

John Moschitta Jr. as Bialyoom Milamin

Stephanie Escajeda as Meinerr

Nicole Sullivan as Sylvia Spectre

JP Karliak as S-L1M3

Dominic Armato as Captain Gearfeet

Wally Wingert as Rigby Starglow

Britt Baron as Michelle Angelon

Julissa Aguirre as Lady Imagineer

Rob Paulsen as Monty the Moarchean

Terrence C. Carson as The Decimator

Steven Blum as Deputy Edward, Earthos

Beau Billingslea as Sheriff Spiegel

Christopher Lloyd as Batsputin Vosania

Anna Akana as Dionna of the Sands

Peter Stormare as Reximillian

Elizabeth Maxwell as Vigrid

James Earl Jones as Wobbla the Butt

Barrett Wilbert Weed as Ezlipsia

Anthony Stewart Head as Solaris Noctua

Jim Ross as Jiross

Michael Buffer as Michauffer

Dave Goelz and Peter Linz as Hecklers

Tim Curry as Velhallen Beo

Crispin Freeman as Mr. Manco

Sam Witwer as Torius Vosania

Joel Grey as King Serpentes I

John Mulaney as Flipso

Ray Porter as Squamata

Samantha Newark as Rebeugar the Lapidarist

Elton John as Stars

Weird Al Yankovic as Stevaldo

And Jack Black as Rutilated Quartz

SPECIAL THANKS TO:

Jack8090

TheCurryAstute/Devil Dragon Stand User

Brydav-Massbear

My friends, family and teachers

The Lapidot Café Discord server

And readers like you

Thank you

"Something weird might may be something familiar viewed from a different angle. And that's not scary, right?"

-Rebecca Sugar

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them."

-Walt Disney

"That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero."

-Stan Lee

No joke once again, I was crying while writing this ending. This story has meant so much to me for the past three years, and it brought me together with other people who were just as devoted to Steven's universe as I was. To that, I give you all my biggest thanks I can give. It's funny, isn't it? Steven Universe ended before I went to college, I started writing Alternate Future in my freshman year, and now I'm finally ending it while in senior year while graduate school is on the horizon. This story has really been a part of my adult life for so long, it's going to be hard to let go of this silly alternate universe version of a children's show on Cartoon Network, even when I finally focus on other stories for once, including a certain other Steven story I've left hanging for almost three years. I'll be out for the rest of November so don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. I'm really going to miss you all.

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duhragonball · 1 year

Note

I've been reading the blog for awhile, and you've said in a few places that you think of Nappa as the sort of default Sayian, that he is your go-to for an example of the way a typical Sayian would be. I don't know if you've said it before, but how did you decide that? Why Nappa, and not Raditz, or maybe a movie Sayian? The blog is really great, thank you for such awesome content!

Thank you for the kind words, and the good question.

I was going to answer this yesterday at work, because it was shaping up to be a long, boring day, but then it turned out to be a long, busy day instead. So today seems more favorable. Anyway, you're right, I have described Nappa as a "typical" Saiyan, and I'll try to explain why I think so.

Of course, Goku is the first Saiyan introduced in the series, but even he had no idea until Raditz showed up, so Raditz is really the starting point for all Saiyan lore. The thing is, he's a solitary character for the episodes he's in, and while he carries himself like an invincible supervillain, we later find out that he's one of the weakest characters in Z. There's some inconsistencies about the guy, in part because he has so few appearances, but also because we never get to see him interact with other Saiyans.

This isn't a knock on the character, by the way. In fact, I'd suggest that a lot of Raditz' popularity stems from the fact that he didn't stick around very long, and there's a lot of lingering questions about the guy, and fans love to fill in the gaps. For example, we know he spent much of his life with Vegeta and Nappa, but we almost never see the three of them together. I think there's one filler flashback in the Frieza saga, and that's it. Everything else is unofficial or fanon or what if kind of stuff. How could a "weakling" like Raditz have such a haughty attitude and manage to stay on Vegeta's good side?

With Nappa, we don't have to speculate, because we saw him with Vegeta in every appearance. So we know they got along, and what Nappa had to do to keep Vegeta happy, and what it took for him to make Vegeta turn on him. And we might well assume that Raditz was the same way, but that just proves my point; we have to use Nappa as a reference in order to extrapolate things about Raditz.

Now, we can argue that Vegeta is much more suitable as a point of reference, since he was in all the same episodes as Nappa, plus all of the other episodes he was in, but Vegeta's too unique. He's the prince, the last of his royal bloodline, and while most of the Saiyan lore we know comes from him, a lot the things he says are biased towards his worldview. For example, Vegeta's the one who introduced the Super Saiyan Legend, but a lot of the details turned out to be wrong. He insisted that Goku could never become one, and then Goku did. Vegeta ruthlessly killed Nappa, but clearly Nappa didn't see it the same way. Nappa wanted to revive Raditz with the Dragon Balls, and Vegeta refused to consider it. So when Vegeta talks about Saiyan exceptionalism, a lot of times he's describing what he thinks Saiyans should be, and ignoring the realities of what they are.

And I think the Bardock TV special bears that out as well. Bardock's crew aren't royals or "elites", but they still have a lot of the same attitudes as Nappa. They talk excitedly about their battles, they're friendly around each other, and they're absolutely brutal in the field, but not completely without sentiment. Ceripa thought Bardock should visit his son, and later Bardock mourned the death of his crew and became desperate to save his home planet. On the other hand, Vegeta didn't seem to care at all.

Turles and Paragus kind of fit in the Nappa paradigm as well. They're both renegades, kind of a "what if Nappa went into business for himself?" kind of scenario. Turles isn't interested in vengeance or supremacy, he just wants to find a cheat that makes him strong enough to do as he pleases. And Paragus is sort if like "What if Nappa survived Vegeta's betrayal and plotted revenge?" He knows he's no match for the prince, but he's cunning and ruthless enough to find a way. Also, he's got that sentimentality to him: he cares for his son, at least to an extent.

I'm not saying all these characters are Nappa clones, though. It's just that they resemble Nappa more closely than they do Raditz or Vegeta, which led me to the conclusion that Nappa is a good starting point for making a Saiyan character who isn't a royal or an infiltration baby like Goku.

At least, that's been my approach with most of the Saiyan characters in my fic. Well, not the Time Patroller Saiyans, I mean the ones who lived in the distant past. Just a bunch of roughnecks who can be vicious or cordial, depending on the situation. I made some of them very different from Nappa, but again, I was still using him as a guidepost, even if I was navigating away from him.

The same applies to Luffa as well. Actually, I just used a Nappa line in Luffa's dialogue recently, and it fits like a glove. I haven't brought up Super Saiyans in this discussion, because I feel like that's a different deal. Goku's the prototypical Super Saiyan, and all subsequent Super Saiyans are ultimately a response to him. But when I was figuring out who Luffa was, I was determined to make her distinct from Goku and Vegeta, and that led me to Nappa. I see him as sort of an "every-Saiyan", and the idea was for Luffa to be an unremarkable Saiyan who turns out to be extraordinary, just like Goku, but without the Earthling upbringing.

And some people may read this and point out other characters like Gine or Beets, but those guys weren't a thing back when I was figuring out Luffa back in the day. Still, I think the recent Saiyan women characters fit pretty well with my own image of what Saiyan women would have been like, so I think I'm on the right track. Again, this is all just my opinion, but it's been a successful approach for me.

#ask duhragonball #nappa

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darkcrowprincess · 4 months

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Oh my God ?! Are you team Jacob for Twilight ?! So then ! I have to say that I have nothing against the canon ships of this saga. (Yes even the very controversial Jacob & Renesme. I generally put my brain in off mode for that by telling myself that SM as a mother herself must not have thought about it very deeply) And I must say that I always been team Edward, even still technically today. But I'm no longer an enthusiast at all because the flaws in the story are now staring me in the face. And even if I'm not crazy about Jacob & Bella either and hated it when I was younger, I have to say that today I totally understand why we would love these two together. BUT ABOVE ALL ! Damn, I have a huge crush on Jacob in the second film... Like the actor, after gaining muscle, had a wow effect on me and I've always liked guys with beautiful, long, well-maintained hair. And Jacob was just magnificent in the second movie. Even his behavior towards Bella was adorable. Beyond that, I still say it today that if I had been Bella... Even if I am very fascinated by vampires... Damn I would have been with Jacob. Also... Damn the heat he must give off ! As a big chill person, this totally appeals to me ! And the wolf shape is so awesome and impressive ! When I watch the films again I admit I don't understand why Bella prefers to freeze to death with Edward. Also, I realized growing up that when Edward talks... I sometimes want to make him shut up because it can be so corny and annoying.

I am not a fan of twilight. I only read up to eclipse and stopped reading the books after that. I've seen the movies but mostly find them boring except the last two. Saying that, I do find the secondary characters and background characters more interesting than Bella and Exward. Everything is more interesting than Bella and Edward. I especially hate Bella. Book version of her more than anything. She is a very annoying, boring, selfish person. Just every thought in her head makes me want to slap her.

Twilight Vampires freak me out and are way too over powered. For the most part I don't like Stephanie Meyers. You can tell she is a Mormon white woman with how she writes. I do love Jacob and the werewolves though. Jacob in general is my sunshine boy and he deserves happiness and I hate Bella or leading him on. I feel so bad for his tribe and what these selfish Vampires constantly do to them and their land. I especially hate the books and movies for the bad reputation they give to classical novels and plays. Especially romeo and juliet. Twilight has nothing to do with romeo and juliet. And there are no parallels or comparisons between them. If Stephanie Meyers wanted to do that, the should have made Edward and Jacob fall love than if anything.

If I had to choose werewolves no question. Not only are they cute looking and badass. But they're warm and human still for the most part. Twilight Vampires are stone cold statues that are ment to look beautiful. They don't live. They don't sleep, they don't eat, sex would eventually get boring because their never tired, and any second now they can lose control from hunger of human blood and kill everyone, plus animal blood never satisfies them! So honestly what joy comes from being a vampire in this universe?! Bella is just so stupid for picking this life and Edward.

I had a huge crush on Taylor Launter as a kid. Had a poster of him on the wall of my bedroom ceiling. Though I also cried when him and Taylor Swift broke up and listened to 'Back to December' a million times.

Edward I find so boring too. Mostly I hate how he treats Bella more like a pet/child. While reading the books it annoyed me so much how he wouldn't fuck her or kiss her in a hot way. His romance with Bella and his reasons for holding back were stupid and boring. Though when he left in New Moon. I hated him. After everything they been through he's just going to abandon her just like that. Moron. The whole save your soul thing I did not understand because I wasn't really religious so I did not get it. Now though I still find it stupid and I'm constantly reminded that Stephanie is Mormon. The whole book I'm constantly reminded that Stephanie is a white female Mormon. She grew up as one and your constantly reminded of that in the book and it freaks me out.

(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you)

#my thoughts #team jacob #jacob black #anti Stephanie Meyers #anti twilight saga #books

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gildedmuse · 2 years

Text

The ZoLaw AU Nobody Asked For Where...

Zoro is "in love" with Mihawk/Ace/Saga/Shanks/King/Sanji, he's really sure of it [okay you're gonna have to stick with me for a hot minute on this one]. Not that he has any idea of how to flirt with such an amazing guy.

Law is a flirt, that's an established fact. He's even tried flirting with Zoro a few times, probably for laughs or thinking it might unnerve Zoro before a match (ha! as if Zoro was so easily distracted!).

(Nevermind he'd failed to recognize it as such until Robin pointed it out. Oh, so that's what he meant about Zoro's Santoryu skills having other uses. No, wait, he still doesn't get why the guy would say that....)

It's not like Zoro enjoys the idea of being indebted to that smug son of a bitch with his smirk that makes people go all pink and voice that he's probably making purposefully low so it does that annoying thing to your stomach. But, well, he's starting to think maybe Usopp had been right when he used to talk about "the importance of wooing". Not the part where he insisted he was a master of it - Zoro isn't an idiot, and besides what would Usopp even be doing "wooing" someone not Kaya and around her he is just Usopp but more sappy. Still, it's possible he was onto something with that nonsense about people liking when you say silly things about them wearing clothes or their faces being good, or maybe they actually do like being given useless stuff that they're just going to throw away later or.... Damn, what else had he gone on about? Arg! It had all just seemed like a huge waste of time and making a fuss over these bootless acts and words that didn't seem to mean anything much. Why should Zoro even bother!?

Oh, right. Because stupid [Preferred Hot Guy] and his stupid face and even stupider damn voice. Not that Zoro hadn't tried it his way first, it's just, well, the guy is clearly an idiot and it was his fault for making Zoro gets all - just - tch! Stupid!

And with Usopp's advice half forgotten before he's even finished, it doesn't exactly leave Zoro with a ton of others he can ask for ideas I mean, tch, he's certainly not paying Nami just so she can insult his haramaki again - it's comfortable, especially with his swords, and he's not wasting money on some itchy outfit he'll never want to wear - and he doesn't want Franky making a big deal out of it. Zoro just KNOWS he'd turn it into this whole thing and insisted on building a giant robot with Zoro's face painted on it or worse. And it would probably just end up smashing down [Preferred Hot Guy]'s door, just like it did when Sabo had asked for his help on putting together a surprise party for Koala. Sure, Sabo (and most the rest of Zoro's idiot friends) thought it was awesome, but Kaola was definitely not "woo"ed, and she was already dating Sabo forever by that point! Besides, Zoro is way too mature (and can't afford to fix his door after). No, giant heart-strewn robots definitely weren't what he needed.

Chopper is a kid, Brook is super old, Kuina is Kuina and Luffy is like his captain (they're not exactly pirates, just university kids, but Zoro thinks Luffy would definitely be his, that is if captains were reckless idiots that dragged you to all their stupidest, messiest, best adventures) and you can't ask kids, old people, rivals or captains about stuff like asking out crushes. Everyone knows that. Perona already is always trying to tell him what to do, he's not about to give her permission to boss him around. Johnny and Yosuke once said that Zoro could get any girl he wanted without even trying, but apparently that doesn't work on guys. If he asked Vivi she'd tell Nami. If he asked Jinbe he'd tell Luffy. He could ask Yamato, but the guy keeps slapping Ace on the back and yelling really loudly about what good friends they are, and again, Zoro is not as clueless as everyone seems to believe. He knows hopeless when he sees it (plus he's tried both fighting and talking to [Preferred Hot Guy] way too loudly and they got him about as far as Yamato....).

There is HER but.... no, he has his pride. Zoro would rather cut off his own feet than go to Robin and ask something so embarrassing. Besides, he already knows whatever answer she gives, he wouldn't't understand it. Or he WOULD but she'd also give him one of those SMILES like she just knows he doesn't understand it even though he totally does. Maybe.

At least some of it. Well, if the damn woman just said what it was she wanted him to know instead of making it some kind of demonic riddle!

And that leaves... Well, Zoro has always been proud, but he's not a fool. When Kuina defeated him he stayed until he became better, when Luffy was there to help him out after that asshole cop got in his face and handcuffed him to that lamppost, he let the annoying kid help, when he had the chance to train under Silvers Rayleigh, he took it and nevermind that it meant having to put his ego aside. Zoro would never let some hurt feelings stand in the way of victory.

And Zoro is only a little flustered and embarrassed he has to ask for help over something that is so nonessential and shouldn't even be that hard, but damnit he really wants things to work with this guy! And that means being good at flirting and dating and sex and compliments and relationship and everything. So he grits his teeth and does it.

Even if it's a strike to his ego having to ask Torao for help. Especially help with this whole... (Come on, he already asked the embarrassing part, just say it....)

"Really, Zoro-ya? You can't even say it? You need my help to get your little crush to notice you, right? To make him *want* you, I should say. Tsk, tsk, no need to get all indignant, Zoro-ya. And here I thought you would have preferred me being honest and to the point."

Would it be too much to tell the younger man how adorable it is to see him so flustered? Considering how easy he's made getting a reaction out of him, Law supposes it would be. Really, he should take pity on Zoro-ya, after the other boy worked up the courage to come to Law with such a request.

"That's quite the cute expression, Zoro-ya. Though what happened to the swordsman that gives me such a challenge on the mats. I certainly hope you're not so easy when it comes to showing your hand to your [Guy]-ya. Love is like any other fight; hardly worth the effort if there is no blood on the line."

[Why is Torao smiling at Zoro that way? It's.... Annoying, and Zoro doesn't like it! Gah!]

Okay, okay, so Law may enjoy himself a little too much at first. Can you blame him, when here is the overly confident, self assured, unimpressed Roronoa Zoro of kendo infamy standing here, openly admitting to Law's superiority? How can he resist the temptation of... Nudging the boy's (very easily pushed) buttons when he's giving Law such an opening?

Not to mention Zoro is one of the Strawhat gang, and while he always has been one of the more interesting tolerable, it still gives Law a great deal of satisfaction knowing that their usual method is running straight into every situation without a thought or care hasn't paid off. For once.

(What? Cora-san, it's not that he's laughing at Zoro-ya's misfortune! Don't give him that look! Law just likes that one of the Strawhats finally had to admit that Law is better than them.)

It's more than that, though. Law remembers the boy's blank stares the number of times Law played coy or made vague advances out of curiosity or boredom. Worst, he saw Zoro-ya's last attempt to talk to this guy he's apparently gotten himself so tied into knots over and.... Law can't believe someone can make such a mess when he's hot enough that, to be honest, he could have skipped right past the part where he used his mouth for something as pedestrian as talking. Law can already see [Preferred Hot Guy] would be more than happy to... Accommodate this more direct approach.

But Zoro-ya had asked for Law's guidance. He's hardly going to throw away such an opportunity. It isn't as if Law is going to stop Zoro from getting his [Preferred Hot Guy]-ya, but what about the next person that catches the kenshi's eye? No, it's better if he learns these skills properly.

Zoro: Tch, come on, how hard can it be? Just show me how it's all done so I can do it.

Law: *smirking* Just so long as you take our little lesson seriously, Zoro-ya.

Flirting goes well, date upcoming!

Zoro: So now what?

Law: *raised eyebrow, more concerned with his medical text book at this moment. He can't always just be amusing himself by teasing messing with this boy* Hmm. I thought you said the flirting worked. *As Law knew it would.*

Zoro: Yeah, now you have to show me the next part. Don't tell me you're backing out of your promise so soon, Torao!

Law: ....

Law: *Curiosity getting the better of himself, turning to look at the green haired boy with.... A weary thoughtfulness* You have the attention of your boy. What precisely is the problem?

Zoro: That was just the asking out part!

And while Law is helping to guide Zoro through all of it without being a diaster it's hard not to notice. Well, he already noticed Zoro was hot, but it's not just that. He's also cute. Like, in a way that makes Law smile this kind of stupid smile.

One that Zoro-ya informs him isn't nearly as annoying as his usual smile which only makes Law feel....

Oh.

Fuck.

How did Law let this happen?

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