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bria-doublen-a · 1 year

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Book Review: Love & Other Words

Non Spoiler Section

This book was such a breeze! It only took me two days to finish this and if I didn’t have to work, I probably could’ve done it all in one sitting. With almost zero drama, this was such an easy read and the perfect palette cleanser for anyone who needs one. So, if you’re into a lot of angst and character turmoil, you won’t find that here.

This is a second chance romance centered around Macy and Elliot, who grew up together and learned how to love in every sense of the word. We jump back and forth from past to present in alternating chapters, but the way the story is told is seamless. This is going to make you laugh and cry, but mostly just laugh. Still, I’d have those tissues ready.

Prepare to fall in love with fictional characters, virtually losing hope in all real life human beings.

Spoiler Section

Okay. The first thing I want to address here is Sean. Can we talk about him for a second? Let me tell you how annoyed I was when Macy introduced us to Sean, who for all intents and purposes is a generally decent guy, and then we immediately run into Elliot. I was like, great. Another boring love triangle with two jealous, foaming-at-the-mouth dudes fighting over the trophy, aka the pretty girl. But I was genuinely surprised and relieved when Macy pretty much right away brought Elliot up in conversation with Sean and he just listened.

Sean was so understanding and not at all dismissive or rude about it. He gave Macy the freedom to actively search for closure and it just made him so likeable. Maybe Sean and Macy don’t belong together, but there definitely needs to be more Seans out there in the world.

And when Macy finally decided to end things, he was so gracious about the whole thing! I realize that real life breakups, the ones where people actually bear more than a general fondness of the other, can be messier and more painful. But to me, it just shows how people are capable of being mature and actively listening to their partner and how they’re feeling. Like I said, Macy and Sean are far from what I expect from a power couple, but I got MAD respect for my boy Sean. Thank you for not being the brutish dick I expected you to be.

Okay, moving on. Watching Macy and Elliot grow up in Healdsburg was the absolute cutest. I love their exchanges of favorite words, I love how uncool they are together and love how experimental they were with each other. That first kiss between them in the kitchen where Elliot stuck his finger in her mouth and she said he tasted like jelly?? I was so warm and fuzzy and yet cracking up at the same time!

The sexual tension between them was honestly so romantic and cute, and honestly just genuinely refreshing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a good spicy book or whatever, but I also think that sex doesn’t always have to be hot and heavy. It can be light and feathery and just plain cute. Which is exactly how I’d summarize Macy’s and Elliot’s relationship.

That being said, knowing everything we know about Elliot; he’s honest, dorky (and a little derpy too) and incredibly responsible...got wasted on New Year’s Eve and had sex with Emma??? AFTER drunk calling Macy and proposing over the phone?!?!?! Not gonna lie, that phone call was so adorable and I totally get Macy’s hesitation with her Dad watching her. But what the hell, Elliot???

I know he explained. And to be honest, that’s the only explanation I’d take to actually believe that he’s capable of doing something like that. But it’s still cheating. And thinking of that line he had at his brother’s wedding where he asked Macy why she left him...like bruh. Isn’t obvious? You had sex with another girl. That’s a valid reason, my dude. Maybe the 11 year cold shoulder was a little extra, but there are plenty of couples who break up after infidelity and I don’t blame them.

But one thing I will say about Elliot, is I love how he’s kind of grown out of Macy’s habit of shutting down. We know that she is and will always be his only love. But he won’t stand for her keeping him at arm’s length. Whenever he wants to dive below surface level, Macy short circuits. But when they’re in the gardens and he’s waiting for Macy to give her side of the story and she just won’t. He just walks away, and honestly, good for him. Not that I have any problems with Macy, but I love that Elliot is willing to never love again, because we know it’s either Macy or no one for him at this point. And if she can’t communicate openly the same way that he does with her, then what kind of relationship could they even have?

And then we have Macy’s breakdown and oh. my. god. I was sobbing, but I knew this was a turning point for her. She finally stepped foot in the vacation home, which she’d avoided like the plague until now. She faced those horrible skeletons hiding in her closet. Because, let’s be real. When Mom was diagnosed, she had time to prepare her daughter. She gave her letters for her to reference as she grew up and those letters became a momento for Macy. Something she could look back on and remember that her mom always loved her. But Duncan never had that luxury. He was taken. Unexpectedly.

Having lost a parent myself, I know what it’s like to have unfinished business. To truly believe you’re at fault for something you’ll never get an opportunity to fix. And suddenly, Macy’s Berlin Wall made absolute sense. It’s there to protect her from harm. But something I’m learning in my grief, is that when you try to protect yourself from pain, you shield yourself from all the other great feelings too. And who better to teach this lesson than Elliot Petropoulos?

Elliot swoops in, carries our girl and we finally get the full story. It’s ugly. It’s painful. It’s jagged and raw. But it’s laid bare and now they can navigate past it.

We knew from the beginning that Macy and Elliot were going to have a happy ending. But I can’t think of a couple more deserving. What a wonderfully joyous and emotional ride. I’ll carry these moments with me for a while, I think.

So, now I’ve got a really important question for you all. What’s your favorite word?

#Love & other words #Christina Lauren #booktok #book review #book rec #romance #second chance romance #friends to lovers #macy sorensen #elliot petropoulos

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mythiccheroacademia · 3 years

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—“get your son/daughter”

𝕙𝕠𝕥 𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤: 𝕚𝕟 𝕨𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕕 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕡𝕥. 𝟚 | 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖’𝕤 𝕡𝕥.𝟙 𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: 𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕒𝕤𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜-𝕗𝕖𝕞!𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

Midoriya Izuku:

despite having two of the sweetest parents on earth, your son had a mouth on him

you didn’t know if it was bc he hung around his sailor mouth pomeranian looking uncle a lot or if it was the three inch growth spurt that got him feeling all big and bad

but you and your husband caught him illegally using his quirk outside of school and freaked

and apparently, your kid had gotten comfortable enough to say, “you guys are being so stupid about this”

that was how izuku ended up holding you back as you tried to look over his shoulders and let your son know what was on your mind

“YOUR SON JUST CALLED ME STUPID AND YOU’RE JUST GONNA LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT!?”

“no of course not, honey! i just think you should calm down a little—”

“SO YOU SIDING WITH THE ENEMY??!!”

there was no use getting to you and so izuku pleaded, “S/N, apologize to your mother! now! please!!”

fed up, the boy goes, “urgh!! you guys don’t get it! how am i supposed to learn about being hero when all dad does is go on and on about all might? all might wasnt even that cool!”

izuku dramatically gasped and whipped his head around to stare at his son with shock

you even paused to let out a small gasp of your own

it was silent for a hot minute

then the young boy realized his mistake when his usually kind father narrowed his eyes in betrayl

“w-wait, i didnt mean that—“

midoriya released you and simply stepped to the side

your son started shivering when he watched an evil smirk grow on your face

“dad hold on—!”

“I’m going to go watch videos of my favorite uncool super hero” izuku huffed before leaving the room

you slowly stalked towards your son

“so what was that you said about me being stupid?”

it was at that point that he knew he shouldve kept his big mouth shut

Kirishima Eijirou:

in kirishima’s eyes, his daughter could do no wrong

ofc she had her moments, but overall, she was a bright, sunny, and happy kid that was too good and pure for this world

that’s why he always tried to ease down any punishments you gave her

but when she acted like this, kirishima knew it was either let you do what you needed to do, or stand in your way and get taken down with her

bc even a 6′0+ man with 200lb+ of muscle like him could whither away from your glare

you didn’t get angry often, but when you did, shit was terrifying asf

so when you asked your daughter to hand over your phone and she smacked her teeth and threw it on the counter...

it was game over

everyone in the room silently watched the phone clank around until it stopped

the room went quiet save for the ticking clock

your daughter’s eyes widened as she realized her mistake

your head turned to your husband and kirishima felt sweat start to pool at his temple

you stared at him for a minute before calmly speaking

“you have three seconds to get your daughter before i do bc i swear i will—”

that was all, eijirou needed to hear

“D/N, go to your room. you’re grounded for two weeks”

“yes, sir. also i’m sorry mom!” she quickly yelped before running upstairs

once she was gone, you let out a frustrated breath as he went up to you, attempting to quell your anger

you turned around to continue flipping through the TV and smacked your teeth before throwing the remote on the couch, too upset to find your fav channel

“I dont know where the hell she gets that attitude from, my goodness” you ranted

kirishima looked away in hoplessness as he rubbed your shoulders

“yeah, no idea...” he chuckled

Sero Hanta:

this was 100% inspired by that kevin hart tiktok audio

sero came home from a long day of hero work

he was mainly on patrol but they had him swinging around every which way to cover an absent hero

he was annoyed and his elbows were sore

all he wanted to do was stuff his face w some food, kiss his children goodnight, and curl up next to you until he was in dreamland

but you had different plans

the poor man didn’t even get a chance to take off his shoes before you bascially materialized in front of him looking like a bull ready to storm right through him

“hanta. i’ve had it up to HERE with that little boy! you better get em’!”

sero looks like a deer in head lights

“huh?”

“you just gonna him get away with talking to us like that?!”

“talk to us like what? nobody talked to me like anything!”

“all i know is, you better go in there and teach that boy a lesson!”

sero is literally on the verge of tears

“babe, what’s going on—”

before he could say anything more, you shoved the famous “beat-that-ass” slipper in his hand and left him fuming over whatever it was that made you angry

hanta is speechless and can do nothing but stare after you until his oldest daughter walks by

she munches on a tangerine slice in her hand and gives him an empathetic pat on the shoulder before disappearing into the hallway

he sighs

he couldn’t get one day of peace huh?

sero catiously opens the door to his son’s room who is unsuspectingly playing his video game

the boy raises a brow. “oh hey papa. whats up?”

sero prays he forgives him

“listen son. i dont know why, but your mama told me i gotta beat your ass so imma do it before i get my ass beat”

minutes later your son comes ito you crying and rubbing his behind to apologize to you for slamming the door in your face and telling you to shut up

sero can’t say he didn’t deserve it, but that was the most guilty ass whopping he ever gave

~~~

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kikis-writing-world · 3 years

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Tiktok Dancing

Summary: Marcus wants to prove to Missy that despite whatever flailing and spasming is popular on that tiktok, he can dance.

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Rating/Warnings: Fluff. Breif mentions of dead characters (Marcus’ wife and father.) No beta/editing.

You and Missy watched the video over and over, rehearsing the steps the girls on the screen performed. Missy had begged and pleaded with you to learn a Tiktok dance with her so she could post it to her account. Marcus didn’t have a great handle on the technology, so you did your best to monitor Missy’s usage of the app. The girl had a small following - mostly her friends from school and other children of The Heroics, plus a handful of people who were hoping for glimpses into the life of the leader of The Heroics.

After weeks of asking you finally gave in, but of course she picked something way out of your range.

“No, you have to kick your foot up like this,” Missy corrected, showing you the right way to do it. You restarted the video and watched, seeing she was right.

“Okay, okay. Like this?” You copied the motion the best you could.

“Yeah!”

“Okay, let’s try it again.” You declared, starting the video over so the two of you could dance along with the remixed song.

The two of you bumped into each other halfway through when you turned the wrong way. Missy fell on her behind, laughing the entire way down. Her laugh made you feel better about accidentally bowling her over.

“I’m sorry!” You apologized with your own laugh, offering her a hand.

“I thought you said you could dance.” She sassed, crossing her arms as she looked up at you.

“I said I would try.” You corrected her with a grin. “We’re almost there!”

“What’s all the commotion going on in here?” Marcus interrupted the two of you as he entered the den. He had a smile on his face, no doubt from hearing all the laughter the two of you were sharing.

You’d been dating the man for two years now and had grown close to his daughter in that time. The two of you had introduced her to your relationship slowly, scared she would reject it after losing her mother. You also didn’t want to push too quickly into a relationship with Missy only for things to not work out between you and Marcus. There had been bumps in the road over the two years of course, between you and Marcus as well as with Missy, but overall it had been a great couple of years.

“We’re trying to learn a dance for Tiktok.” Missy explained, standing easily on her own.

“Tiktok again?” Marcus shook his head with a sigh. It was all Missy seemed to talk about lately, and he didn’t understand it. The technology the kids were into just moved too fast for him to get a grip on it. Just as he understands Webkinz, Club Penguin comes along. Snapchat was out, Tiktok was in. He was thankful you seemed to have a better handle on it, just so he could be sure someone was keeping an eye on Missy’s internet usage.

“See Dad, look.” She told him as she showed him the two girls doing the choreography. You bit back a laugh as his face contorted as he watched. Confusion, an attempt at interest, more confusion.

“That’s dancing?” He asked once the video looped back to the start.

“Daaaaad,” Missy scoffed, sounding every bit the pre-teen she was.

“I’m just saying. That didn’t look like any dancing I’ve ever done. That looked like they were trying to swat a fly. Or air out a bad fart.”

You laughed loudly at that, unable to hold back. Missy groaned, once again annoyed with how out-of-touch and uncool her dad had somehow become.

“I’m just saying.” Marcus held his hands up defensively, although he was grinning at you as you laughed.

“Why don’t you show her a thing or two then, old man?” You egged him on, teasing him with the moniker that came out anytime he called it “the facebook” or “tweeter.”

“Yeah Dad!” Missy challenged, cocking her hip. “You think you’re such a good dancer?”

“I never said that,” Marcus denied, glaring between the two of you. “I’m just saying that that isn’t dancing.”

Missy shot you a disbelieving look, clearly calling out her Dad’s skills. “Dad probably dances like Carlton on that show you were watching the other night.”

You couldn’t help but laugh again, knowing you had definitely seen Marcus dance like that before when he was being silly and trying to make you smile. Missy did her impression of the character, making sure to bob her head back and forth with a goofy grin. She looked so much like her dad as she did.

“Alright, that’s enough out of you.” Marcus warned, pointing at Missy with a playful glare. “You wanna learn how to dance, I’ll show you how to dance. Sit down.”

Missy plopped herself onto the couch, crossing her arms over her chest as she shot him a challenging look. Her eyebrow quirked up, clearly saying “show me what you’ve got.” You moved to sit with her, but Marcus grabbed your hand and pulled you to him.

“Oh no, you’re on my side for this one.” He told you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he held the other near your shoulders.

“Am I?” You questioned with a grin.

“I’m gonna need a dance partner.” He grinned back at you.

“I don’t even know what we’re doing.” You laughed.

“Just follow my lead.”

It took a moment to get the hang of it as Marcus led you through the steps. A slight push against your waist or a pull of your hand and he would spin you one way then the other. Push you out and pull you back in. His hips swiveled as he stepped, but you were much stiffer in comparison as you tried to follow the silent commands.

“Alexa,” Marcus called once you seemed to have your bearings. “Play my 80’s playlist.”

The computerized voice responded before Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody started to play.

“Did you plan this?” You accused him, narrowing your eyes.

“Not at all.” He smiled.

He led you through the steps to the tempo of the upbeat song, occasionally mumbling a word or two to tell you where to go. You didn’t know exactly what kind of dancing this was, but you’d love to learn more steps if it meant the two of you could dance together like this more often.

“Where did you even learn this?” You asked him as he pulled you close, your side tucked against his front.

“My parents.” He answered easily as he turned the both of you in circles. “They always used to dance together. When my dad died, I learned-” he paused, dipping you. “So she could keep dancing.”

“That’s adorable.” You marvelled, staring into his eyes. He grinned bashfully before pulling you back up onto your feet.

When the song ended, switching to another, both of you were breathing heavily. Most of it was due to the steps and the spins that Marcus had guided you through, but you had to admit that a part of it was the attraction you felt to him. You didn’t know he could dance, let alone dance like that. He had kept it appropriate, no Patrick Swayze Dirty Dancing moves, but the way he led you effortlessly took your breath away.

“Well, Missy?” He asked, grin on his face as he caught his breath. He turned to the couch and his grin fell. You turned away from him reluctantly to see what he was frowning. The couch was empty.

“When did she leave?” Marcus pouted.

“I have no idea.” You admitted with a giggle. The two of you had been so caught up in dancing that you hadn’t even noticed the young girl leave the room. “You proved your skills to me though.” You praised with a kiss.

A few days later you were checking up on Missy’s Tiktok account when you saw a video of you and Marcus dancing in the living room, taken from the doorway. The two of you were smiling, staring into each other's eyes as you spun. No wonder you hadn’t noticed her leave. The caption Missy had left on the video read “My parents are so cute 🤢🤮🤢”

Tagging @wickedfrsgrl @din-damn-djarin @dinthisisthe-wayson @insideafictionaluniverse @vonschweetz @driedgreentomatoes @computeringturtle

#Marcus Moreno x Reader #Marcus Moreno x GN!Reader #Marcus Moreno x You #Marcus Moreno drabble #Marcus Moreno imagine #Marcus Moreno fic #We Could Be Heroes fanfiction #WookieTales

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angelofthequeers · 4 years

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Miladybug

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

I signed up to be a backup gifter for @mlsecretsanta and my giftee turned out to be @chimpukampu so I hope you like this fic! ❤️💚

AO3 link

“Where’s…Adrien?” Marinette pants when she’s tumbled into her seat, only barely on time for school which, to be fair, is a step up from being outright late. But there’s no familiar blond head in front of her!

“Home sick,” Nino says. “Poor dude’s got a nasty cold.”

“You reckon his dad’ll let him rest and recover?” Alya says, making a face. “Or is he just gonna learn at home?”

“Probably that one,” Nino says.

“Ugh. He’s got the worst dad, I swear. My mum would tie me to the bed with blankets and force-feed me homemade chicken soup.”

Ms Bustier clears her throat, cutting the conversation short. But Marinette can’t concentrate. All she can think about is poor, sick Adrien, and how she should maybe swing by later that night before patrol with a box of delicious baked goods…but no, she can’t. Between her love for Adrien and the feelings for Chat Noir that she’s trying to shove a lid on, it’s the last thing her tangled heart needs, not to mention that she’d probably end up a flustered mess like when she’d given Adrien the Snake Miraculous and then he’ll think she’s totally uncool and won’t want to talk to her and she’ll have blown her relationship with him on both sides of the mask and –

Marinette shakes her head with a soft groan and forces herself to pay attention to the lesson. Dwelling on it won’t do anything except send her brain spiralling, which is never a good time for her.

Once school’s over, she distracts herself until patrol time making a get well soon card for Adrien, even though she probably won’t have the guts to even sign it, let alone deliver it. Besides, the universe will probably kick her in the gut if she does; after all, she’d forgotten to sign her Valentine, and she’d signed Adrien’s birthday present, but her signature had somehow vanished. Tikki perches on her shoulder, munching on a cookie while Marinette sticks a scarlet heart to the front of the pink card and then sprinkles a touch of pink glitter on it.

“What do I even write?” she says when she opens it. “Dear Adrien, get well soon! Love, Marinette.” She groans and thumps her head on her desk. “No! That’s the most generic message ever! And “love”? Gah! That’s too – too – coupley!”

“I thought you wanted to be a couple,” Tikki teases.

“Yeah, but not through a get-well card when he’s sick!” Marinette says. “Ugh, this is a disaster!”

“Well, it’s almost time for patrol,” Tikki says. “Why not head out a little earlier to clear your head? Then you can work on your card when you get home!”

Marinette exhales and lets her shoulders slump. “You’re right, Tikki,” she says. “I’m freaking out over nothing!”

“Hey, I didn’t say that!”

“Yeah, yeah. Tikki, spots on!”

As Ladybug, all her worries seem to melt away once she’s swinging through the sea of lights that make up Paris. Although she could make it to the Eiffel Tower in less than a minute, she decides to take the scenic route and keeps a nice, relaxed pace through the city. At one point, she even closes her eyes and lets herself plummet, laughing at how the wind whips through her hair and howls in her ears, then opens her eyes and throws her yo-yo just in time to stop herself from crashing into the ground.

Even though she’s early, Chat Noir is already at the Tower when Ladybug lands on the platform at the tip, her pigtails a windblown mess and her cheeks flushed warm with blood. He gives her his signature smirk, although it’s lopsided.

“Milady!” He lets out a giggle. “Get it! Because you’re a ladybug! You’re milady…bug!” He squints at her and adds, “You don’t look like a bug, though. Your eyes are…” He laughs again. “Pretty!”

“Uh…” Ladybug lets her yo-yo swing. “Is there an akuma? Did you get hit?”

“What! Noooo! No akuma!” Chat Noir lets himself fall onto his back. “I’m happy, miladybug. Bugaboo. Angel. The light of my life!”

Her brow furrowed, Ladybug edges towards her oddly-behaving partner and nudges him with her toes. He giggles again and looks up at her with glazed green eyes.

“Okay, what happened?” she says, crossing her arms. “What did you do?”

“I’m sick!” Chat Noir beams as though Ladybug had just revealed her identity to him. “I have a coooold. But I’m so hot!” He flexes his biceps and says, “In more ways than one, miladybug!”

“God help me,” Ladybug mutters. “What kind of cold could you possibly have that would make you like this?”

“It’s not my cold!” Chat Noir winks. “It’s – it’s the meds! I took cold tablets!” He frowns and adds, “Why are they called cold tablets if they’re not cold? You don’t keep them in the fridge. Maybe you should, though!” He gasps and covers his mouth. “I’ve found the secret, miladybug! I’ll cure colds! Maybe I shouldn’t be a ps – a physicist. I’ll be a biologist!”

So, Chat Noir wants to be a physicist? Huh. Adrien likes physics too.

“A bi-ologist!” Chat Noir says with a rasping laugh. “Because I’m bi! Geddit, miladybug? And I’m bilingual! I’m learning Mandarin!” He gasps. “Are you bi too? Are we balanced? You on this side –” He holds his left hand out. “And me on this side!” He holds out his right hand. “For justice! Lady Justice! Milady Justice!”

“Okay, okay, no patrol for you tonight, kitty,” Ladybug sighs, sitting cross-legged next to him. He immediately shuffles over and rests his head in her lap, and a deep sound rumbles deep in his chest. “Did you just purr?”

“Mm-hmm!” Chat Noir sighs and nestles his head further in her lap. “Cats purr when they’re happy. And you make me happy, miladybug. You’re my – my catnip! I can’t get enough of you!” He twirls his finger near his temple and says, “You make me gaga when you’re around!”

Despite her best efforts, Ladybug can’t stop a giggle from escaping her. It seems that cold and flu medication sends Chat Noir high as a kite and removes any filter he might have. This could be problematic, although she can’t quite put her finger on why because even without a filter, he shouldn’t just up and spill his secret identity.

Right?

“Are you an angel, miladybug?” Chat Noir sighs. “You’re glowing.”

“That’s just the city lights, silly,” Ladybug says and boops his nose. He purrs louder in response.

“Your eyes are so pretty,” he says. “So – so – blue! Just like my friend.”

Alarm bells start to sound in Ladybug’s head. “Chat –”

“Marinette!” Chat Noir blurts out. Ladybug freezes. “You know Marinette, right? Of course you do! You told me to protect her from Nathanieeeel.” He sighs again and says, “Can I tell you a secret, miladybug?”

“Um, I don’t think –”

“I think I like Marinette. She’s so prettyyyy…and she’s always standing up – everyone stands up! No one can sit forever! But she stands up strongly. And she tells off Chloe. I wish I could be as cool as her.”

“Chat, I think you need to shut up now,” Ladybug says, trying to extract Chat Noir from her lap while also trying to deal with the warmth pooling in her gut at his words. Rather than listen to her, however, he utters the words that knock her entire worldview off its axis.

“She’s so beautiful when she’s positive,” Chat Noir says with a strong purr. “She’s the only person in my class who’s never touched a pretty black butterfly, apart from me.” He wrinkles his nose. “Wait, no, they’re ugly. Hawkmoth is ugly. But not Marinette! She’s beautiful. I’m used to disappointment. But she’s strong. Of course she is. She’s a baker’s daughter!” His eyes unfocus. “I wonder if she could carry me like a sack of flour.”

Ice explodes in Ladybug’s stomach, coating her insides. She’s the only other person apart from him that hasn’t been akumatised in their class? But – no, that can’t be – the only other person in Ms Bustier’s class who hasn’t been akumatised is…

Something behind Chat Noir’s mask seems to shift. The blond hair and green eyes are no longer unfamiliar. Now they’re – now it’s Adrien looking out at her with his drug-glazed eyes and lopsided grin –

No. Way. She’s been rejecting her crush all this time for herself! He’s starting to fall for her civilian identity, and he never would’ve let this slip if he’d known it was her behind the mask, drugged or not! And now he’s just gone and blurted it all out to her and outed his identity! What the heck is she supposed to do?

A soft snore snaps her out of her panicked thoughts. Chat Noir has dozed off in her lap, curled up like a cat and letting out little purring snores with each exhale. Before she realises what she’s doing, her fingers are carding through his hair, bright scarlet against soft gold like a rose on sea sand. Okay. She just has to be rational about this. She needs to talk to someone before she has her looming meltdown.

“Spots off,” she whispers. Pink sparkles wash over her, dissolving the ladybug suit and freeing Tikki. The kwami gasps, her eyes bulging as she takes in the scene before her.

“It’s okay,” Marinette says softly, still combing her fingers through his hair. “Adrien’s asleep.”

“Ad – oh.” Tikki’s large blue eyes are fixed on Chat Noir. “You know. How?”

“He’s high on cold meds,” Marinette says. “He let a few things slip. Things I couldn’t just brush off. Like how we’re the only two people in our class who haven’t been akumatised.”

“That would do it,” Tikki sighs. She darts into Marinette’s purse and emerges with a macaron, devouring half of it in one bite. “And you’re not…upset? Freaking out?’

“Oh, I’m about two seconds from losing my mind,” Marinette says rather evenly, still stroking her kitty’s hair. “I think it’s just a delayed reaction. And I don’t want to wake him up or freak out Paris and make them think there’s an akuma.”

“Poor Adrien.” Tikki darts down to press a tiny kiss to Chat Noir’s forehead.

“It makes sense now,” Marinette says. “Why Chat’s so…Chat. I mean, his timing could use some work, but of course he’s going to be that open when he’s Chat.”

“It’s not like he’s a different person as Chat than as Adrien,” Tikki says.

“Yeah, I know that,” Marinette says. She sighs and leans down to follow Tikki’s example and kiss Chat Noir on the forehead. The inevitable meltdown in the next few hours as she tries to process this is going to be huge. “Adrien has his dorky moments. How did I not see it before? He literally told me it was a ‘knightmare’ after Darkblade was defeated! And you knew!”

“Of course I knew,” Tikki says. “I saw him when you were facing Dark Owl. But are you really upset that I didn’t tell you?”

“No, no…it was my decision to keep our identities a secret. I guess I’m just trying to process.”

“Maybe you should process at home,” Tikki says. “You’re clearly not going to get any patrolling done, and it’s probably best for Adrien if he’s at home to rest.”

“But he’s…so peaceful.” Marinette starts to stroke a finger down Chat Noir’s nose over the shiny leather mask, just like her mother used to do to her as a small child. Chat Noir lets out a loud purr and nuzzles against her thigh.

“The longer you try to suppress this freak-out, the stronger it’s going to be when it sinks in,” Tikki says. “And super suit or not, the best thing for Adrien right now is to be resting at home. It’s not exactly warm out here.”

“That’s…true.” Marinette huffs and carefully shifts Chat Noir’s head so that she can stand up. Chat Noir lets out a tiny mewl when his head touches the cool metal of the Eiffel Tower, rather than the warmth of Marinette’s legs. She can’t help but let a laugh slip out when, absurdly, she realises what Chat Noir might have to say about Tikki’s wording. “That silly cat. He’d say suppurress and then give me that grin of his when I groan. I can’t believe I’m in love with this dork!”

“You’re in love with him?” Tikki says. Marinette braces herself for a freak-out that never emerges. Huh. Maybe it really is waiting until she’s home and her brain isn’t currently trying to process a million past interactions at once.

“He’s Adrien,” Marinette says. “Of course I’m in love with every side of him. And okay, so I might have been catching some feelings for Chat, but I’m just going to ignore that. And bury it deep down. Really deep down. And then let it blow up as I scream into my pillow and you float there and try to calm me down and offer me advice about how it’s all going to be alright and I’ll start shrieking about our three kids and hamster and island home and my parents will just assume I’m going on a lovesick ramble again –”

“Marinette!” Tikki says loudly, cutting off the rest of Marinette’s babbling in her throat. “Maybe you should get Adrien home while you’ve still got some semblance of higher brain power?”

“Right. Right. Of course.” Marinette runs a hand through her hair, accidentally pulling some strands out of her pigtails. “You’re right. Tikki, spots on!”

Once transformed, Ladybug scoops Chat Noir into her arms bridal-style and then leaps across the buildings of Paris in the direction of the Agreste mansion. To be honest, there’s a part of her that’s praying to see Adrien in his room, to maintain this charade of Adrien and Chat Noir being two separate people, even though she knows rationally that after Chat Noir’s rambling just before, there’s no way he could be anyone else. But sure enough, when she swings smoothly through the window into Adrien’s bedroom, there’s no one there.

Well, then. Guess there’s no more deluding herself. Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste are the same person. The boy she’s been turning down is the boy she’s been so in love with for so long.

“He can’t detransform like this, can he?” Ladybug mumbles to herself once she’s laid Chat Noir down on the bed as reverently as someone might set down their new bride. Chat Noir snuffles and curls in on himself, then lets out a tiny snore, and Ladybug’s insides melt into goo at just how…adorable he is.

If she’s honest with herself, Chat Noir’s always had a bit of her heart that Adrien never had. It would’ve been easy – so very easy – to let herself fall for him. But how could she do that when her heart belonged to Adrien? How could she let herself give up on the boy she loved?

Except that now, she doesn’t have to. The two boys who’ve staked claim to her heart are one and the same. It’s not as though her feelings for Adrien have transferred to Chat Noir now that she knows they’re the same person. It’s more like…acknowledging the duality of Adrien and Chat Noir has unlocked her heart, allowing herself to fully love both sides of the same boy, simultaneously so similar and yet so different.

Ladybug blinks and shakes her head. Of course she’d stand there and wax poetic over her sleeping kitty. But how is she supposed to detransform him without waking him up to have him say the words? She can’t really leave him there as Chat Noir in case someone comes to check on him and finds a leather cat superhero where the sunshine prince of Paris should be. She bites down on her lip to stifle her laughter at that thought, to avoid waking him.

“Forgive me, mon minou,” Ladybug whispers. She takes his hand in hers and starts to slide his ring off, ever so slowly, making sure that he doesn’t wake up and start freaking out that someone’s trying to remove his ring. She freezes when he grunts, but his head just lolls to the other side and he continues to snore softly, his exhales whistling just like hers do when she’s all clogged up from a cold. Poor kitten.

In a flash of green light, Chat Noir is replaced with Adrien once Ladybug finally gets the ring off. Plagg comes tumbling out and whips around, no doubt to investigate why he’d been forcibly freed from the transformation, so Ladybug just raises a finger to her lips, Plagg’s Miraculous in full view, and then carefully twists the now-silver ring back onto Adrien’s finger. Plagg watches her silently, his bright green cat eyes rather eerie in the rolling shadows of Adrien’s room cast by the lights outside his window.

“I can’t believe he’s my kitten.” Ladybug sits down next to Adrien, careful not to disturb him, wincing when he forces in a particularly loud gulp of air. She resumes stroking her finger down his nose just as she’d done on top of the Eiffel Tower and he seems to lean into the touch with a soft purr, although that could just be her imagination.

“Thanks for taking care of him.” Plagg’s voice is soft, both in volume to not wake Adrien up and in tone, unlike his usual crassness. “I tried to get him to skip out on patrol tonight.”

“He should have. Silly kitty.” Impulsively, Ladybug bends down and smooths back Adrien’s soft hair to press a kiss to his forehead, her lips lingering on the hot skin. She won’t kiss him on the mouth, not while he’s asleep; that’s a privilege that she has to earn when he’s awake and aware. “I wish I could help.”

“Kid, trust me, when I tell him Ladybug kissed him, that’ll help him plenty,” Plagg says. Then he smirks, his fangs glinting in the dim light. “He’s gonna freak when I tell him Ladybug knows who he is. Maybe he’ll finally shut up about his lady and her silky hair like night and her bluebell eyes –”

“Plagg!” Ladybug hisses as blood rushes to her cheeks. “Don’t be a turd!”

Plagg just cackles quietly. “You should go, Pigtails,” he says as he zips down to snuggle on the pillow next to Adrien’s head. “I’ll watch out for him. Wouldn’t want to be late for school tomorrow, would ya?”

“You and I both know I’ll always be late, Ladybug or not,” Ladybug say. But she still rises from the bed as gently as she can, then turns back to leave one last kiss on Adrien’s forehead. “Sleep well, mon chéri.”

“Gag me,” Plagg mutters. Ladybug rolls her eyes at him before heading for the window, tiptoeing so that her kitten can sleep peacefully. She her yo-yo to catch on a nearby chimney, blows a kiss back at Adrien, then leaps out into the cool Parisian night.

“Don’t worry, Adrien,” Ladybug murmurs as she reflects on the action-packed events of the past hour, praying that she makes it home before it really sinks in and she starts to scream, because the last thing she needs is to scare the living daylights out of Paris. “I’ll carry you like a bag of flour tomorrow. Just you wait and see.”

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ladyfantasy98 · 4 years

Text

Flyers and Favors, Part 2!

Hello! First, thank-you for the wonderful response to my Danny Phantom fanfic, Flyers and Favors! I’m really honored that so many people have liked and reblogged -- some of them twice!

So while I had intended it to be a one-shot, inspiration struck, and I’ve added a second part! With a possible third part to come at a later date.

Chapter 2 deals with Dani battling Skulker when he comes to bother Danny during study time. It ended up longer and a bit more serious than I intended, but I think it’s still humorous and a good read (if I do say so myself ;) ).

Let me know what you think! I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!

You can read this second part either below the cut, or on my Fanfiction.net account. Happy Reading!

Danielle knew the instant a ghost showed up. A shiver ran through her body and she gasped, releasing a small blue puff of air.

With a grin, she jumped up from her brown wooden desk and transformed, letting two white lights wash over her body and change her into her ghost form, Dani Phantom. Her shoulder-length black hair (layered with triangle cuts in the back) became white, and a black-and-white jumpsuit replaced her purple pajama shorts and button-up top.

She turned intangible and flew up through the ceiling of her bedroom - created by siphoning off sections of the Fenton family's lab - until she reached her older cousin/brother/creator Danny's room. She poked her head through his floor just in time to see him finish his own transformation into Danny Phantom.

"Hey!" Dani called, startling him and making him jump up into the air. Hovering there, Danny looked over at her.

"What's up, Elle?" he asked. Ever since she had moved in with the Fentons a year ago as their adopted daughter, the family had taken to calling her Elle, Ellie, or Annie to differentiate between her and Danny. Dani didn't mind, but she still introduced herself to new people as Dani-with-an-I, and she would always be Dani Phantom.

"I got this one," she answered Danny. "Go back to studying."

"But - "

"I can handle whoever it is, I promise," Dani insisted. "That's the whole reason you went into the Ghost Zone the other day, right? To make sure they'd leave you alone so you could study?"

"Well, yeah, but -"

"Then study. These exams are really important to you, I know."

Danny lowered himself until he was back on the floor. He glanced over at his desk, which was covered with pencils, textbooks, and loose-leaf paper filled with scientific equations. "I mean...this can wait. You have homework, too, I know. I'll just stay up and -"

She narrowed her glowing green eyes - the same as Danny's - at him. "Danny. Please. My Pre-Calc homework is not going to determine whether I graduate or get into my dream college program this week. Just let me. Handle. The ghost."

Danny stared at her for a moment, looking torn, before he finally sighed. Twin flashes of light raced up his body, and his eyes turned blue, his white hair - cut shorter and closer to his head than when he was 14 - became black, and his own black and white jumpsuit disappeared to reveal a NASA T-shirt and a pair of blue boxers.

"Alright, you win," he conceded. "Just...be careful. And you'll get me if you need help?"

Dani rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dad, I promise. Now go do you homework!"

Danny laughed. "Alright, Mom." But he waited and watched as Dani pulled out her phone and quickly shot off a text to Valerie, saying the exact same thing she'd told Danny, before turning intangible again and flying through the roof.

Bursting into the night air, Dani took a second to enjoy the rush of flight, before putting herself into a fighting mindset. Looking around at the houses, clearly illuminated by the giant green Fenton Works sign attached to the Fentons' home, Dani couldn't see any signs of a recent ghost attack. No broken windows, no smoking buildings, no screaming people.

But she'd definitely sensed a ghost earlier. Maybe it was something small? Or it was still in the lab? Now that she thought about it, she should have just checked out the lab first, especially since it was right next to her bedroom. But she'd wanted to make sure Danny didn't go after the ghost himself. He'd been super stressed over his final AP Chem and AP Physics tests this week and she had wanted to do him a favor by taking care of any ghostly threats that came through.

Not to mention it would show him and the rest of Team Phantom that she was mature and skilled enough to protect Amity without any of them breathing down her neck. Honestly, she loved her cousin, and Sam and Tucker and Valerie, but sometimes they were way too overprotective. They acted like she hadn't spent over a year living on her own, fighting ghosts and for her own survival. And they had been worse lately; their impending collegehood must have been making them overly nostalgic and worried and adult-like.

Dani was about to head back inside, when she gasped, her Ghost Sense alerting her once again. Then, sensing something coming towards her from behind, she dodged to the left - just in time to avoid the grappling hook/claw that zipped by her. It landed in the sidewalk down below, cracking the concrete.

Dani spun around, following the mechanical line up from the hook to the ghost who had fired it. When she saw who it was, she groaned.

"Oh, come on, Skulker? Really? Do you know what time it is?" she demanded.

"Ah, the Ghost Girl. Nice to see you. I'd been planning on hunting your sire, but a fight with you should warm me up nicely!" Skulker exclaimed. He pressed a button on his suit, and the grappling hook shot up from the sidewalk and returned to Skulker with a hissing sound. "And, yes, I know it's late. My apologies. Believe it or not, it's morning right now in the Ghost Zone."

Dani rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." Floating higher until she was eye level with Skulker, she prepared her own ecto-blast, green light coiling around her hand. "Also, how many times do I have to tell you, Danny is my cousin, or maybe my brother. He's not my sire. That makes him sound like a medieval king or something. It's weird."

Skulker chuckled. "You're more right than you know, child." Then, raising his arm to ready an ecto-energy cannon blast, he added, "Now, enough talk. Let the hunt begin!"

Danielle smirked. "You're on."

She took aim at the center of the robotic suit and launched her ecto-blast. Skulker simply dodged it, and fired his own attack. Danielle turned intangible and let the cannon fire pass right through her. Undeterred, Skulker launched a type of flaming arrow, burning with his signature green-blue fire.

I should probably move the fight away from the neighborhood so nothing gets too damaged, thought Dani. Dodging the small projectile and flying over near the park, she asked,

"Didn't you get the flyer?"

"Of course I got the flyer. The Ghost Child littered them all over my front lawn!" Skulker exclaimed, shooting out three more rockets from the launcher on his right shoulder.

"And, what, you just decided to ignore it? That's so not cool." Dani reached out her hand and encased the rockets in her ecto-energy, containing their explosions; smoke billowed within the green spheres as she lowered them to the ground.

Dani then flew towards the park, where there would be less people to hurt and less buildings to damage. Skulker chased after her, donning a pair of night-vision goggles, even though there were still street lamps in the park.

"I thought you guys were allies sometimes," Dani added, stopping in mid-air above one of the public fountains. She could hear the water gurgling slightly in its concrete bowl.

"Yes, when the fate of the Ghost Zone is at stake," Skulker answered. He hovered on the opposite side of the fountain, arm outstretched towards her. "The whelp failed to explain in his flyer how him failing a test would be the end of the world."

Dani narrowed her eyes at the hunter. "It'd be the end of his world," she told him. She held up both hands and formed two more ecto-blasts. "What's important to Danny is important to me, so I'm not gonna let you ruin this for him."

"How admirable." Skulker fired another blue laser at her, which she dodged. She released her ecto-blasts, hitting Skulker in the chest. He crashed into a nearby tree, breaking the poor plant in half. When Skulker remained on the ground, Dani hovered closer to him. Placing both hands on her hips, she said,

"You don't plan on following him to college, too, do you? 'Cause that would be even more uncool."

Skulker merely grinned at her from among the wood splinters. "But of course! Where the prey goes, the hunter goes. The whelp doesn't think he can shake me just by going to a different learning institution, does he? How foolish!"

Dani fired another ecto-blast at him. He yelled in pain as it hit, pounding him into the ground. Dani smirked as the dust settled. That oughta teach him.

Only to widen her eyes in surprise when she saw that Skulker was no longer on the ground. "Wha - ?"

A presence behind her. She looked over her shoulder just in time to see Skulker's grin before he backhanded her, sending her crashing into another tree. Dani groaned as the tree fell, sending a shock wave of pain up her body. Spitting out leaves, she gathered herself, then rose up into the sky.

"Alright, Skulker, not ba - aaahhh!" Dani screamed as a ghost-proof net wrapped around her, knocking her back onto the ground and sending bolts of electricity through her body. She was left panting and jittery once it passed.

"Haha, you underestimated me, didn't you, Ghost Girl?" Skulker crowed as he walked towards her, his metal boots crushing the grass underfoot.

Danielle scrunched her eyes in pain, before opening them and glaring at the ghost hunter. She wriggled in the net, frustration building as she failed to free herself.

Skulker picked up the net and Danielle, holding her as if she weighed nothing. She'd gotten a bit of a growth spurt once she'd turned fourteen, reaching Danny's old height, but Skulker was still much larger than she was. Well, his suit was, at least.

"You know," Skulker began, regarding her thoughtfully, "I've never understood why you cling to human traditions so much. You, Phantom, even Plasmius - you all plan and prepare for human lives, human futures, but why? You're ghosts. And sure, lots of my neighbors concoct plans for world domination - even I like the occasional vacation out in the human world. But ultimately, we all belong in the Zone. Even you three."

Dani blinked up at him, surprised by his sudden philosophical demeanor. Even as she huffed and struggled in the net, she couldn't help but agree with him. There were times - when she was flying, high above the earth, or slipping between buildings without a care for the laws of physics, or using her powers to fight ghosts intent on doing evil - she wondered why she wanted to be human. Why did she want to pretend to be an ordinary girl, when there were people like the Guys in White that would capture and dissect her and her cousin the first chance they got? Why should she hide herself in this world, when in the Ghost Zone no one cared that she was part human?

But then...

Then she remembered the look on Danny's face as he taught her how to use her powers to help people. How excited he was to receive the acceptance letter from Amity University, contingent on his grades though it was. The joy and pride Danielle felt when Jack and Maddie welcomed her into their family, ghost powers and all. Going shopping with Jazz, and having her explain things like bras and periods. Hanging out with Tucker, Sam, Danny, and Valerie, listening to them joke around and plan for the future, even as they made Amity Park a safer place.

Dani sucked in a deep breath. "Skulker, you're right," she said. "We are half ghost."

Then, hoping she was right, she transformed. The white rings washed over her, her ghost side tucked away for now, leaving her in all her human glory. And - to her delight - as soon as she was human, Dani fell out of the net.

She landed on her feet, and smiled up at Skulker, who looked confounded. He must have forgotten to use the anti-halfa net instead, or perhaps, like usual, he had underestimated her.

"But we're also half human. And so we decide where we belong."

Mid-transformation, Dani jumped up and decked Skulker in the face. The ghost sailed to the left, gouging a trench into the earth as he landed. Before he could get up, Dani unhooked the mini-Fenton Thermos she always kept with her from around her waist and aimed it at the ghost. The thermos' opening shone brightly, its light sucking Skulker up into its metal confines.

"No! No! I'll get you for this, Ghost Girl! You and the whelp!" Skulker thundered, his words becoming quieter and more distorted as he disappeared into the thermos. Dani capped it and twisted firmly, sealing him inside.

The night became quiet once again. Dani surveyed the former battleground, pleased to see that the park had sustained little damage, outside of a few broken trees. Hooking the thermos back onto her belt, she rose into the air and headed home.

Danielle didn't know where she quite fit in yet - in town, in school, in life - but there was plenty of time for her to discover that. Right now, all she wanted was to stay by her family and friends' sides. And if the the price for that was battling a few ghosts and sticking them in Fenton thermoses - for at least six months, she thought gleefully, imagining Skulker's misery -

Well, then it was a price she would gladly pay.

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tarysande · 6 years

Note

Okay quick question: how do you think it’s gonna go down? Will Chloe run or will Lucifer? I mean Chloe will have her proof and have to deal with that but Lucifer wanted her to see his true face on his own terms not by accident.

I feel like I may be in a bit of a minority here, but I don’t actually think the end scene of the finale was Chloe about to run away or lose her mind; I think she was shocked (because that’s a legit response to seeing that face and also to being given irrefutable proof of the divine) and I think she was (again, justifiably) unnerved. Consider her reaction compared to literally every other reaction we’ve seen from people seeing Lucifer’s face. She’s not curled up, she’s not screaming, she’s not trying to claw her own eyes out, she’s not even Linda’s tears and terror. For one thing: she can speak. Her, “It’s all true,” is not, “Holy shit, you’re the Devil.” It’s all true seems to indicate that her brain is desperately trying to process the reality of all---if Lucifer is really the Devil, then none of the truths he’s ever told to her were metaphors; if Lucifer’s really the Devil, she can’t stay an atheist; if Lucifer’s really the Devil, then God is real and He’s done horrible things to the man she loves; if Lucifer’s really the Devil, her roommate is really a demon and not just a ninja bartender; if, if, if, if, if...

There’s a lot of all to process and she’s still human; her brain is basically the physical embodiment of the expanding/galaxy brain meme, you know?

Personally? I think those steps backward weren’t steps away from Lucifer, so much as they were steps toward the stairs she very much wanted to sit down on.

See, I think the progression of events at the end there is really important. If she hadn’t heard gunshots when she did, I think she was about to admit (certainly to herself) that she’d always known. She’s already most of the way there on her own before Lucifer’s face confirms it.

I think it would be out of character, then, for her to get angry or run away (she’s still a cop; there’s still a dead lieutenant to deal with).

Lucifer, on the other hand? Everything about his showing (or not showing) Chloe the truth has been about his need to control every aspect possible for him to control because he cannot control the one thing he’s most terrified of: Chloe’s reaction. He has always been terrified that her seeing the truth would send her running---and that possibility was too painful to bear. So, he came up with excuses and rationalizations and “I’ll tell her when X, Y, or Z happens.”

Abuse is the misuse of power to control (or harm) another person. Lucifer is an abuse survivor; he also sometimes engages in the learned behavior he internalized (even though nothing disgusts him more than being compared to his Father). The psychology of that is really complicated. He controls what he can because so much of this situation (and what put him in the situation of spending eons in Hell) was out of his control. Not only that, the punishment specifically came from God, his Father, when he dared asked why he and his siblings (and presumably all creatures prior to humanity) were literally all created to do God’s bidding, no questions asked. “Hey, Dad, just wondering why you basically made all your children slaves to your whims and will. Seems uncool.” For which Lucifer was basically sent to the worst corner of the universe for, you know, ever.

And the other root of Lucifer’s paralyzing fear: if Dad has a plan, if Dad knows all, then why did He make his own son to rebel, to question, to desire, to be punished? Why did his Dad create him to be hated, reviled, blamed?

To bring this all back to the last scene of the finale, I think it’s far, far more likely that Lucifer, the moment he realizes his Devil face is back and that Chloe has seen it---remember, just a short time before, he admitted to Chloe that maybe he didn't see himself as a Devil anymore, either; he was actually coming to accept that he could still be himself and an angel without his selfhood and identity requiring the monstrousness of the Devil he’d made himself---will be overwhelmed with shame and horror and disgust and grief and loss and the certainty of being rejected (he’s always rejected when it matters, and he will definitely interpret Chloe’s reaction as rejection), and he’ll bolt. I’d like to hope he bolts to Linda (with Maze still there!), but we’ll see.

#lucifer on netflix #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #deckerstar #lucifer #lucifer thoughts #lucifer analysis #lucifer meta #asks and answers #Anonymous #lucifer spoilers

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thelastlansing · 5 years

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This Is The Way You Left Me

You would think that if you came into the world, kicking and screaming, you would leave the exact same way. For Kara Lansing, there was no scream. No fight. Just acceptance.

Only silence met her ears as green eyes dimmed for the final time.

And as her body sank to the ground, Kara’s eyes drifted to the bracelet on her wrist, the one that she knew would alert one very important person in her life that something had happened. That something had stopped. That she was gone.

Alas, this story is getting ahead of itself. Perhaps it's best if we start back at the beginning, before dangers and lifeless eyes, before crazy ancestors and relationship woes.

Let’s go back to the days of pigtails and curls. To the days where Kara’s red string of fate fully began. To when the best thing that ever happened to her, was brought into existence.

And the best thing that ever happened to her, you ask? To answer your question, that best thing came in the form of one small, frustrating and adorable bundle of joy. You might know her as something different than that description, however.

To Kara, she went by something else.

To Kara… She was her little sister. To anyone else?

Her name was Lauren.

Poke.

No response.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Still no response.

Po--

“Kara, you can’t poke your sister in the cheek. She’s sleeping.”

Kara looked up with a furrowed brow at her mother before letting her gaze fall back onto her sister’s face.

“But Momma. I wanna…”

She stopped immediately when she saw the raised eyebrow that she had no idea she would one day learn to perfectly imitate. With a sigh, she put her tiny little chin into her even tinier hand. Every fiber of her small little body wanted to poke her sister’s cheek just once more, needing to see those eyes that her mom said were pretty, just like her own.

Kara supposed, as she kept her hands to herself, that she could wait for Lauren to actually be ready to meet her. After all, they were going to have forever together. And to Kara, forever was a very, very long time.

Like at least three naps.

Green eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, a bed-tousled head looked around in search of the noise that had woken her up from her slumber. Finally her gaze landed on the source of the noise, realizing it was none other than her baby sister. Her head cocked to the side in confusion before she got up from her bed and padded over to Lauren’s.

Nudging Lauren, Kara waited for her to wake and when she finally did, the older girl crossed her arms as she tried to look upset for her little sister’s behavior.

“You’re seven. Seven year olds don’t get nightmares.”

Lauren, who had been hiding under her covers for what now felt like an eternity but was in reality less than five minutes, poked her head up when she heard her sister’s voice and frowned at her. “I know,” she said defensively. “And I didn’t have one.” This was a complete lie. But she couldn’t seem uncool, especially since Kara was ten and knew way more about the world than she did.

She sniffled then, and proceeded to pull the blanket back up over her face as if it would shield her from her sister so Kara didn’t know she had been crying. She didn’t want Kara to be upset at her for not being a good enough seven-year-old since she was having nightmares.

….Darn it.

Immediately Kara felt bad, especially considering her sister seemed to be inhaling a blanket as she cried underneath it. Biting her lip, Kara climbed onto the bed, soon crawling under the covers. She knew her feet would be cold, give her a break she had poor circulation, so she put her toes onto Lauren’s legs.

Hearing the gasp, she smiled and pulled down the blanket so she could see her sister’s face. She didn’t like the way she looked so sad, so scared. So… Small.

“Hey… I’m sorry. I was just kidding.” She knew that Lauren probably wasn’t going to accept her words, gnawing at her lip with her two front teeth for a moment before she grabbed at the other girl’s hand with her own. “I get them too.” She offered, happy when she saw the way Lauren finally acknowledged her with something other than disbelief. “Nightmares can’t really get us, okay? We are bigger than our nightmares and fears and stuff. And I won’t ever let something so mean hurt you. Ever.”

Wiping away a tear from her sister’s cheek, Kara leaned forward and pressed a somewhat sloppy kiss to it. “Do you want to tell me what it was about? Or do you wanna just sing until you fall asleep?”

Lauren couldn’t believe it when Kara told her she still had nightmares, but she couldn’t deny that just hearing her say that already made her start feeling better. It made her more like her big sister, which was what she always wanted.

She was happy when Kara held her hand and nodded her head as she told her the nightmares couldn’t get her. A small smile grew on her face when Kara helped wipe away her tears, but Lauren was nervous to tell her about the nightmare because she didn’t want to seem too silly.

“You--you guys were gone,” she said, feelings the tears fill her eyes again as she thought about the nightmare. “You and mom and dad were all gone and I was all alone. And then there were lots of bugs and stuff all over the house and I just--I couldn’t find you.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and let go of her sister’s hand so she could hug her tightly. “I don’t want you to ever go away. Can you stay here? Please?”

Part of her really didn’t know how to react as Lauren offered up the nightmare to her now very humble ears. Another part of her wanted to be defiant and tell Lauren to stop worrying because that wasn’t going to happen. Fortunately, she chose to react in the best possible way she could, given the circumstances. And those circumstances were basically just Kara not being good with words, or at least not being able to fully communicate how she felt with words.

So instead of saying anything, at least at first, Kara pulled Lauren closer to her as she rocked them both back and forth in what she hoped would be a lulling motion. “You’re never going to lose me. When you were born, I looked down at you and told you… Well, I promised you… I promised you forever. I meant it then and I mean it now. We’re gonna grow old together and live next door to each other. And we’ll marry the cutest boys and our kids will be best friends, just like us. I promise.”

It was then that Kara extended her right pinky finger, looking at her baby sister expectantly. She waited for some form of reaction from her sister, breath coming out in soft puffs that seemed to almost disturb the stillness of the air in their shared bedroom. “Pinky swear, Laurie. It’s a thing we big kids do. It means we’re never going to ever break it. S’not as scary as death do us part and stuff. But it is a promise. A big kid promise. So c’mon. Pinky swear that you’ll be there until I’m old and grey and I’ll do the same.”

While the idea of marrying boys was gross because boys had cooties, Lauren couldn’t help but smile at her sister’s words. She gave the pinky a questioning look, looking back up at Kara as she explained the meaning. A big kid promise? Okay, she had to do it.

As she intertwined her pinky with Kara’s, she smiled at the older girl. “I pinky swear I’ll be there for you forever and ever,” she declared proudly. This was probably the most mature, serious thing she’d ever done and she was so excited about it that it made her nightmare seem like a big joke. They pinky-promised forever, and she knew she would never break it no matter what. “Thank you, Kara.”

Her heart thumped proudly in her tiny ribcage, feeling a warmth emanate throughout her torso. She never understood why her sister thanked her for literally doing nothing, she’d just done sisterly things after all. With a shrug, Kara held her sister closer and closed her eyes as she started to hum a song she’d heard her big cousins listening to. “You’re welcome, Laurie.” She mumbled out, feeling the sleepiness begin to seep into her bones once more. After a few minutes of humming a song from some musical her cousins had seen about a butcher and his wife, she fell asleep. It was simple moments like these that Kara would learn to cherish later on in life. And it was promises like these, that Kara would remember right before she broke them.

“It’s not like Kara’s out there having sex at all hours of the day, sweetie.”

Kara’s fork clattered on her plate.

Well. This certainly wasn’t how she expected this dinner to go.

“Mom!” Kara hissed.

Their mother just held up a hand, clearly not done finishing her point to Lauren.

“What I’m saying is that you need to have the talk and what better time than the present?”

“Mom!” This time it was Kara and Lauren both chiming in at the same time, watching as their father soon went very pale in the face before announcing this was a girls’ only talk and that he was going into his study.

“I gave Kara the talk when she was thirteen. But you didn’t want it at thirteen so I’ve waited. Fifteen years old is the best time, Lauren. Now. Look at your sister. She’s eighteen and already a very sexually active young adult!”

Kara immediately lost her appetite, fork now on the table as she slowly began to sink into her chair. She thought she’d been sneaky when it came to her escapades with boys. Apparently not. Immediately she felt the heat manifest in her cheeks as she watched two sets of eyes turn to look at her.

“...It’s not very. I’ve just… Had sex once. It was last year.” Her mind drifted to the memory, of being seventeen and feeling utterly stupid. Robert. When Kara admitted to liking him after they’d slept together, he’d said that it was great and that he liked her back. But he didn’t. She had stood in front of his steps as she saw him through the window of his house with another girl. He later went on to tell her that she had been a mistake and Kara had a feeling she’d never forget that. “And it wasn’t even that great.”

Her mother’s head snapped to her, eyes ablaze, making Kara immediately regret opening her mouth.

“Wait, you were seventeen?! I thought we agreed no sex until you were at least eighteen years old! Give me your keys.”

Kara’s eyes went wide, immediately straightening in her chair as she looked from Lauren to her mom in an exasperated fashion. “You’ve got to be kidding. Mom that was a year ago, it doesn’t even matter no--”

“Give. Me. Your. Keys.”

Slowly, Kara took her car keys out of her pocket and deposited them on the table where her mother quickly snatched them up.

“Thank you. It would teach you to learn a thing or two from your sister. We know that she’d never disappoint me like you have. Now, Lauren. Back to what I was saying. When a man and a woman really love each other…”

Kara stood up from the table, not wanting to hear anymore of this conversation. Wrapping her arms around herself, she ventured to her room. Right then and there she began to break her promise as newfound hatred for her sister began to seep into her bones.

Digging her feet into the small rocks below, Kara swung back and forth slowly on a rickety old swing. “So you’re going to my university, huh?” She didn’t mean to sound so sour, she really didn’t. She just couldn’t help but feel like this was her parent’s doing, to have Lauren spy on her and make sure she wasn’t killing someone or something. As if she ever could.

Lauren plopped herself down on the swing beside her sister’s, hoping the creaking noise masked the sigh she let out. “It’s not like it was really my choice,” she offered blandly. She knew it didn’t really matter what she did or didn’t think-- it didn’t feel like anyone was really taking that into consideration anyway. She looked down at her feet as she shoved her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt. “But yeah, I guess I am.” A pause. “Mom and dad will be there for the first few days, but after that you won’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to.”

Green eyes flashed with something unreadable at what Lauren had just said. Suddenly she wanted to be anywhere but here. Was she really that horrible of a sister that she’d made Lauren believe that she didn’t want to talk to her? Well… Okay, so the answer was yes. But deep down she knew it was more out of an ever-growing hatred for her parents and who they’d become after she had continually disappointed them by just… Being Kara. “Laurie…” She breathed out, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I don’t hate you. And you… Look. I’ll talk to you. I’m sorry I’ve been distant. It’s just hard after… After…” How could she continue that sentence? After Lauren had taken her place? Stole all the love her parents apparently had to offer? She couldn’t say that. She couldn’t say any of it.

Lauren didn’t really want to have hope at that moment. She didn’t want to think going to this school that she desperately didn’t want to attend might not be the worst just because her sister would talk to her. She felt so cut off and distant from her parents and her sister--one moment she was fighting them, the next they were making her feel like she never should’ve been mad at all. “It’s fine,” she told Kara. “I get it.” She couldn’t help another sigh, looking over at her sister finally. “What’s it like there?” She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know, but she hoped there’d be at least a couple more reasons to stay, as she had no other choice.

Picking up the pace of her swinging, Kara decided that it was better she hadn’t finished her sentence. Maybe it was better if she tried to patch things up with Lauren, even if it hurt. “It’s uh… Well, it’s big. There are some pretty cool people there. I’ve got a nice roommate, her name is Zoey. But there’s also some really annoying people there too. Like this one kid? I can’t even remember his name but he’s just the biggest pain in the ass.” Kara scoffed, remembering how she’d met him at a party. “He’s like a grade ahead of you so hopefully you won’t run into him. The dude’s never gonna get a girlfriend, let me tell you.” Sighing, she realized that maybe this wasn’t what Lauren wanted or needed to hear. Maybe she just wanted to know that everything was going to be okay. “You’re going to do really well there, Laurie. I know it might not feel like it but… Being there has helped me forget about everything back here in Michigan.” She nudged her sister’s shoulder then, giving her a small smile. “Except for you. I could never forget you.”

Lauren vaguely remembered meeting her sister’s roommate briefly when Kara was moving in, but she was completely lost at Kara’s tangent. Why should she care about this random dude she was talking about? Still, she listened. She wasn’t completely sold on the idea of this school still, but she had no other choice in the matter. She shrugged at her sister’s compliment; Lauren didn’t do really well at any type of school. She’d just have to scrape on by. She smiled back as Kara nudged her shoulder. “I’d be seriously concerned if you did,” she joked. “Maybe it won’t be so bad, though.” She wasn’t even sure whether or not she wanted to forget about Michigan. It was all she knew right now. But it started to feel less and less like home, so maybe she did need an escape. Maybe RIAP would be good for her.

“C’mon,” Kara nodded her head in the direction of their house. “Let’s go home, kiddo. I think you and I need to make sure you don’t pack anything that makes you look like an absolute loser before you start college.” As she got up from her swing, she reached her hand over to hold hands with her sister, determined to not only pull her along but help her not feel so alone. With a gentle tug, Kara pulled her in the direction of their home. Maybe they wouldn’t talk to each other at school, maybe they would. For now though? For now she could keep her promise. For now.

“Holy shit,” Lauren said as she stared at her own reflection in the mirror. She had just placed the graduation cap on her head, and it hadn’t hit her until that moment that she was actually graduating college. Her. Lauren Lansing. She remembered the fight she had with her parents when she first said she didn’t want to go to this school. While she of course still wondered where she might be now if she’d taken the gap year she wanted to, she wouldn’t trade the people she had in her life for anything. She turned around to face her big sister. “I can’t believe this day is actually here. And how bad this hat looks on literally anyone.”

“I dunno, Laurie. I looked pretty great in the hat.” Kara smirked at her sister, slinging an arm around her shoulders all the while making sure she hadn’t messed up her sister’s hair. “Now, remember… When you’re out there, just picture everybody naked.” Kara looked at her sister with the straightest, most serious face. Which was slightly unnerving after she had just joked around. “And if you need to, imagine Zach fully clothed. Because nobody needs to see that boy naked.”

“Shut up, I knew you were gonna say that,” Lauren said with a roll of her eyes, but smiled back at her sister when she put her arm around her. She laughed at the suggestion. She really wasn’t that nervous-- she just couldn’t believe this day was here. And that there were so many people who she loved there. Seriously, she’d started the year basically abandoned by everybody she loved except for Morgan, but now everyone was there to watch her graduate. She just grinned at Kara and shook her head. “Right, nobody except me.” She then threw her arms around Kara and sighed. “I’m so glad you’re all here. It wasn’t the same being here without you all.”

Kara grimaced at the mention of Zach being naked. Trying to suppress a gag, she shook her head and patted Lauren’s back. “I honestly hate being back here. Too many bad memories. But I’ll brave them all, just for you.” Nothing about this felt right, being back here, being in the same building where she’d found out that her friends and the women she’d considered family were murdered in cold blood. But hooray for school spirit or something. Whatever, it didn’t matter. Just seeing Lauren be happy was enough for her. “So what do you plan on doing now that you’re all grown up and done with college? Don’t say get married to Zach. That can’t happen until I’m dead.” A bright smile graced her lips, nodding at Zach who looked over at them with a confused expression.

“Yeah, imagine all the people you love graduating and being stuck here for another year,” Lauren added with a sigh. She was beyond ready to finally leave this place, and leaving with an actual degree? That was something she’d never planned on happening. She gently flicked her sister on the arm at the suggestion of her dying for like the fortieth time that day. “How many times do I need to tell you I’m not getting married when I’m elderly? I’d like to do it at a regular human time, thanks.” Then she just shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. Maybe I’ll take the gap year I never got to have and figure it out from there.” She looked over to Zach and smiled, before turning back to her sister. “We’ve got time to figure it all out, don’t we?”

Kara pretended to be in pain the second that Lauren flicked her. “Yeow! That was rude. Called for, but still rude!” Rubbing at her arm, she shook her head. “It’s not my fault that you don’t believe me. And don’t even think about flicking me again. I broke your finger once, I can do it again.” Granted it had been an accident… And she was like.. Nine. But… Whatever. “Sorry our parents couldn’t be here to see you graduate. You know they loved you. Right?” She felt stiff just saying it, not really wanting to think about them. Especially after everything they’d put her through but...With Lauren. It was different.

Lauren rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a laugh at Kara’s whines. She pressed a kiss to her fingertips, then placed them on her sister’s shoulder. “There, all better. Even though my pinky will never be the same again.” She’d almost forgotten that had happened. The amount of distance she had from Michigan made those memories seem farther away than they were. She shook her head as Kara started and smiled again, though this one was more forced. “It’s alright. I’m okay. I’ve still got family here to see me and be proud of me. But that won’t happen if I’m late to my own graduation!” She stuck her arm out to Kara. “Would you do me the honor of walking me down the hall and outside so we don’t all miss my big moment?”

The eye roll that she couldn’t stop was hilariously large. “Ugh, you’re such a diva. I blame certain people that you were unfortunately friends with.” Funnily enough, or perhaps not hilarious at all, those people weren’t around anymore. How or why wasn’t important. All that mattered was that Lauren was still here, along with their friends and people they considered to be family. “C’mon, let’s go get you that diploma.” Kara pulled her along so they were catching up with Cristina and Zach. She slung an arm around Zach’s shoulders, much to his surprise, before giving him a noogie on the head. “Sup bonehead. You’re sitting next to me.” Zach’s face paled and Kara just grinned as Cristina giggled. Today was a day she’d remember, that’s for sure.

“I’m here for my twenty-minute hug,” Lauren proclaimed in a sing-song voice, smiling as best she could despite the mounds of anxiety piling up in her. Kara told her one month. That was it. She could handle a month -- they spent longer than that apart when Kara went off to school before her. One month was just fine. Then Kara would be back, and they’d have their whole lives. More importantly, they’d have holidays, birthdays, Lauren’s wedding, and they’d do it all together. She stretched her arms out towards her sister and wiggled her fingers. “I hope you don’t think I was kidding about that.”

“Laurie, you can’t be serious. A twenty-minute hug is quite literally insani--” But there she was, now stuck in a hug. Who had pushed them together? Oh. Of course. Zach. She glared at him as he walked by before rolling her eyes when left the room whilst finger-gunning. “I can’t believe I’m allowing you to marry that moron.” That very moron who was holding onto a very important letter should it ever need to be used. “Whatever, fine. Here we are. Hugging. Awkwardly. For the next twenty minutes of our lives” Lowly under her breath she began to hum the Jeopardy theme, swaying them back and forth in the hug. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to marry someone else? At least Isaac is good looking.”

Lauren laughed as they were pushed together and she squeezed her sister so she didn’t get any ideas about leaving before Lauren was ready. “Don’t be a butt! This is the last time you’re going to hug me for a whole month!” She squeezed Kara tighter for emphasis. She raised an eyebrow at the humming, but happily allowed the swaying. “Okay, kind of ruining the moment with that song…” Her face scrunched at Kara’s question and Lauren shook her head. “Ewww, never say that again. Isaac’s basically my brother. Plus, he’d be the most devastated if anything happened to me and Zach.” She squeezed Kara again and sighed. “I can’t let you go.”

The hug was slowly but surely growing on her as the minutes went by. “I will always be a butt. It’s part of the big sister initiative that I joined the second you popped out of mom.” She spoke matter-of-factly, as if what she was saying was gospel truth. “Isaac needs someone that’s good for him. Not some crazy person buying him islands.” Kara snorted upon remembering how she found out that little tidbit. As Lauren said she couldn’t let her go, Kara felt her body tense. “Hey… Hey. You’re gonna be okay. Even when I’m gone, you’ve got so many people that love and care for you. You know, almost as much as I do.” Pressing a kiss to Lauren’s head, Kara began humming a different tune. A lullaby. “It’s just a month, Laurie. And…. And you’re going to have to let me go. My flight leaves to Austria in an hour.”

Lauren usually complained about Kara and her weird big sister rules and unnecessary depictions of birth, but these were the last ones Lauren would hear for a while, so she let it slide. But she couldn’t conceal any negative feelings at Kara’s next statement. “Don’t get me started,” she warned. “I can’t believe people actually believe they’re allowed to mess with him.” She shook her head, but felt Kara go tense and squeezed her tighter. “I know, I know, but I’m still going to worry about you.” She couldn’t help pouting when Kara kissed her head. She was going to be slightly more dramatic so maybe the others could laugh and she could pretend like she wouldn’t burst into tears the moment Kara walked away. “Will you let me know if the hills are alive?” she teased, pulling back so she could look at her sister. “And will you pinky promise me you’ll be very, very safe? As safe as you can be? Knowing you’ve got us all waiting for you? Especially my neph-dog.”

See, now, when Lauren did that thing where she looked at her and asked for pinky swears… Kara knew she was in for some tears. Be it now or later. “I promise that I’ll try my best to keep safe.” Green eyes looked down at Lauren’s outstretched pinky, feeling her chest tighten. With a shaking hand, she extended her own pinky and locked their fingers together. Pulling Lauren just a bit closer, she locked eyes with her sister. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be right here.” She tapped Lauren’s heart with her index finger on the other hand. It was then that her phone buzzed in her pocket. Three vibrations, short in length. Fuck. “Laurie… Laurie, I’ve got to go. That’s my C.O..”

All Lauren could do then was nod and smile tightly. Her pinky squeezed Kara’s, and she remembered how mature and strong she felt at seven when they pinky-promised they’d be there for each other forever. Now she just felt desperate and like maybe, if she kept holding her, this moment wouldn’t go away. She let out a shaky breath at Kara’s next promise and opened her mouth to speak before Kara’s face changed. Lauren stopped, and could almost feel her heart stop in that moment. “Okay,” she said, nodding her head and trying her best to fight the tears welling in her eyes. “Okay, Hercules, off you go.” She wrapped her arms around her sister one last time. “I love you so much and I’m so proud of you.” She pulled back again and did her best to smile. “Just...come back when you can. Okay?”

Smirking at the nickname, Kara just shook her head after backing away from her sister. “Okay, Pascal. Okay.” One last smile and Kara was turning on her heel, hands moving to her pockets. The wind was already chilly and they hadn’t even fully hit winter yet. As she walked away, the wind began to pick up. Tears stung her eyes as she moved further and further from her sister. What she didn’t know was that with every step that she took, the further away she was from seeing her sister for the last time. It’s funny, that line Lauren had used. It was a song they used to cheesily send each other when they’d be apart for a little while. One of the lines was, ‘You’ve done nothing at all, to make me love you less”. The problem with that lyric was that it foretold a darker future than she would have liked. She knew what the mission debrief had said. No one else had. No one else ever would. It lay hidden in her desk, tucked away with a photo of her and Lauren from when they were younger. And there the photo would rest, atop a folder with red letters.

NO EXIT STRATEGY.

You would think that if you heard the worst news of your life, within moments you’d be kicking and screaming. There was no other way. For Lauren Lansing, there was no scream. No fight. Almost acceptance-- like she’d already known. But that didn’t cut out the pain.

Only silence had met her ears when the flashing green light dimmed for the final time. And only silence met them now.

And as her body sank to the ground, Lauren tore the necklace off of her, the one that was essentially useless now because hers was the only heartbeat it showed, and threw it against a wall. Because something had stopped. She was gone.

One story reaches its end just as another is a page away from a new chapter. She wanted to start back at the beginning, before dangers and lifeless eyes, before crazy ancestors and relationship woes. Where were the days of pigtails and curls? The days where her red string of fate fully began?

She needed more. More time, more proof, more than what she had. She needed to hear the name. She asked to hear the full name. She just needed more-- something to ground her, something to prove this could be a dream. Nothing made any sense. She wasn’t thinking straight. She just couldn’t let it be real.

To the paladins, she’s something else.

To Lauren… She’s her big sister. To anyone else?

Her name is-- her name was Kara.

#003 #flashback

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awesomegirlystuff · 6 years

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Character Study - Bolo

In season 2 I really came to love Kevin’s best friend, Bolo. He had a lot more screen time than the first season, and so many memorable lines and moments. We also got to know him as a character much more. In season 1, he only appeared three times and seemed like just a typical stoner character type. The only depth we really got was that he reads presidential trivia. Season 2 gave us so much more, and I’m hoping we’ll learn even more about Bolo in season 3. So, because I love him so much, I thought I would do a little character study on this guy.

I’m not going quite as deep as I do sometimes, mainly this is different speculations and such so I don’t really feel like I need to give a general overview of his character. If you need one, just check the wiki.

general

Bolo is a dick, there’s no doubt about that. He will make fun of his friends for just about anything. Mostly Kevin, who seems to be the most sensitive of the group. He teases Kevin for his attachment to his dad, his fear of drowning, for being a virgin etc. but he has his limits. This is demonstrated in the scene in a Girl Named Sue, where Bolo, Lex and Claire are making fun of Kevin and Bill comes along and adds to it. Kevin, not knowing how to deal with this embarrassment, and already being mad at Bill for a number of reasons, beats him up for this. This really horrifies his friends, who think Kevin went way too far. Their shock makes sense, as this is a pretty (intentionally) out of character moment for Kevin. The group seems pretty anti-violence, they don’t go around fighting or anything. The only time before this we’ve seen Kevin use his fists was to defend Bill. So yeah, Bolo can be a dick, but he’s also a kid, and I think like any other kid they tease each-other over pretty much anything. He isn’t a bad person, I guess is what I’m saying.

Another notable thing about his personality is his recklessness. Even more than Kevin. He’s an unsafe driver, he rarely thinks anything through and he thinks being a murder victim would be an acceptable way of gaining fame.

sexuality

One of my biggest things with Bolo is, I strongly believe he’s bisexual. There’s just so many little hints throughout the show. For example, the scene in Pray Away where Lex is talking about how hot Cutie Pie is, Bolo responds; “Oh, I’d give a thousand guys a thousand hand jobs just to bone her.” Now, let’s just put aside the fact that he took this and made it about giving guys hand jobs for a moment. If you look at his facial expressions, and you listen to the performance doesn’t it seem like he’s just trying to fit in? Like, he seems almost obligated to agree.

I think he’s hiding his attraction to males, but I don’t think he’s gay. There have been prominent instances where he is in fact attracted to females. He has a crush on Jackie Kennedy, and he’s attracted to Claire and Cutie Pie. But he’s also so overly defensive if he’s implied to like guys, way more than Kevin or Lex, who just brush jokes like that off.

Bolo’s main running gags are lying about how awesome he is, and freudian slips, which all seem to have the same theme. Here is a list;

Vic: “I felt that song in my balls.”

Bolo: “And coming from your balls, that means a lot!”

--------------------------------

“Oh, I’d give a thousand guys a thousand hand jobs just to bone her.”

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Bolo: “We’ll be so famous after this, our dicks are gonna be like magnets.”

Lex: “Wouldn’t that mean they’d attract other dicks?”

Bolo: (defensively) “That’s not how dick magnets work!”

This one isn’t really a freudian slip (although it could be? idk), but when Bolo and Lex are messing with Kevin while he’s talking to Claire, Lex makes the eating pussy sign, while Bolo is the one who does the blowjob sign.

Alone, I’d say any of these jokes are nothing more than a throwaway gag. But it’s literally every joke of his. It’s either this or him obviously lying about how cool he is. I don’t think it’s far off to say that there is meaning here, and I’m almost certain this is in fact the conclusion one is meant to draw from this running gag. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it, Bolo being bi is pretty much canon. I would expect more lines like this next season, and maybe even a confirmation.

My other question about Bolo is, does he actually want to have sex right now, or is he just trying to seem cool. He is obviously lying when he talks about his sex life, but he doesn’t really seem too enthusiastic over it. He doesn’t know anything about it. Not even the basics. He just thinks being a virgin is uncool, but much like Kevin I think he would just be content with pleasuring himself. After all, Kevin never actually tried to have sex with Claire or anyone else until his friends started pressuring him. And just like Kevin wasn’t ready when it happened, I think Bolo, Lex and Kevin are just putting this pressure on each other to go out there and get with a girl, without actually being ready at all.

home life

Bolo’s home life is another thing we’ve got bits and pieces of here and there, but nothing has been all that fleshed out so far (again, I really hope this changes in season 3!). In the episode Night Shift, when the boys are having band practice in Bolo’s basement, we learn a couple of interesting things. Bolo says “...and, we can borrow my mom’s car. The other day I told her I was 16, and she totally bought it.” This lets us know Bolo’s mom is obviously pretty neglectful and probably doesn’t care too much for her son. (In fact, I remember someone asking about Bolo driving on twitter once, and the writers did use the exact word “neglectful”.) In this same scene there’s a box in the background labeled “mom’s stuff”, which is filled with booze. Pretty obvious this indicates she is also an alcoholic. As for Bolo’s dad, we haven’t heard anything about him so far. He may not even be in the picture.

These little bits of information made me reconsider a small thing from season 1. It’s just one line, but I think with this context it’s totally different. In the Trough when the boys are smoking weed under the bridge, Kevin is complaining about his family playing a particular record, pretending as if they’re perfect. Bolo is quick to shut him up, telling him he’s bumming him out. Obviously it just seems like he wants to stop talking about Kevin’s family, and get to getting high, though with this information about his mom, I don’t know. I think it might be a little deeper. Like, Kevin is bumming out cause he’s making him think of his own family, you know?

bolo the drug provider

The last thing I find notable about Bolo, is he’s always the one to bring the drugs. And he seems to pride himself on this too, such as when he shows off his knowledge of how to get coke (which turned out to be a lie). Mainly, he deals in weed. In his very first appearance, he’s the one Kevin calls to get pot. He also gets in some fancier weed dipped in salmon urine (which, idk enough about weed but I feel like someone lied to him about that being cool but I can’t say. It could be a real thing for all I know.) and he also makes bongs out of weird things like pumpkins and later, a baby doll. We don’t know yet where Bolo’s weed hookup comes from. I have a headcanon that he deals the stuff all over school, but there’s not really any evidence for that.

#f is for family #bolo #character study #media studies

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forestwater87 · 7 years

Text

JERMY FARTZ (S2E4) MASTERPOST: NO BREAKING INTO PARTS, WE SCROLL LIKE MEN

I laugh at that name every time, and I’m not even sorry.

So I haven’t touched the 2 latest episodes because I’m lazy, but this was so much fun that I had to devote some time screaming to it! So get ready kids, because there is screaming (and spoilers) below the cut.

Though first: someone who’s never seen Camp Camp tell me what’s going on in this picture:

This episode has my favorite people. As in, Gwen and David. Yeah, there’s gonna be a lot of them in this post, and I’m not even sorry.

But first! Have some squished Nikki:

I love her.

FACE DOWN BOOTY UP

THAT’S THE WAY WE LIKE TO —

. . . Moving on.

Can we take a moment to appreciate Max’s sassy little wrist flip?

Also can someone explain to me how Camp Campbell won anything athletic against the Woodscouts? That seems to defy logic.

There are so many good things going on in this picture, but the most exciting is that GWEN IS SMILING! ACTUALLY SMILING FOR REAL!

Don’t believe me? Look at this saucy little zoom in:

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS! Also, if we can indulge me for a moment (and I’d like to see you stop me): She’s not smiling because of the game. She’s not smiling because the kids are happy.

That smile is 100% aimed at David.

Girl’s in love, is all I’m saying.

Nikki, what the fuck are you doing?

A lot of this is going to literally just be a dumping ground for pictures I think are cute, because I still don’t really understand what a “masterpost” is. So in that vein, Max is cute. Space Kid, in the background: also cute.

Man, they kinda look like they’re reenacting a super low-budget version of West Side Story, huh?

But I feel like it needs more ~camp.~

THERE WE GO! Thanks, David. Always there to sparkle things up when I need you.

One of the reasons I can’t stand Pikeman — besides the, y’know, all of him — is how he makes David sad. Look at David’s sad sad face and tell me you don’t wanna punch this twerp just a little bit.

Then again, he also makes Max make this face, and this is a great face.

Allow me to deposit in front of your eyeballs some Davids:

There we go! Aren’t we all feeling a little bit better now?

I HEARD MY BOYFRIEND COWORKER WAS BEING AN IDIOT AND CAME AS FAST AS I COULD!

Honestly, “Gwen desperately trying to stop David from doing something really stupid” is one of my favorite dynamics. They continue to be everything I need in life. Looking at this picture caused 75 new Forestwater Gwenvid stories to appear in the AO3 feed. (Ha, no. Wouldn’t that be awful?)

She so badly wants to save him (and her, let’s be real) from himself and I love it.

And that’s the moment you realize David is an incurable idiot. (Who totally gambles because Mr. Campbell does it and he wants to be like dad.)

I don’t even have anything to say, I just love this picture to pieces. Every expression is gold.

Here are some cute Davids:

And OH MY GOD LOOK AT MAX’S FACE:

LOOKIT HIM

HE LOOKS LIKE FUCKING GRUMPY CAT I’M WHEEZING

I’m not sure what’s the best thing about this: Gwen’s face, how proud David is, or the fact that literally everyone is just d o n e with his bullshit.

(Just kidding. The answer is always Gwen.)

I have a moral conflict regarding her, because on the one hand I want nothing more than for her to be happy, but on the other . . .

look

how great

her angry faces are.

Also take a moment and appreciate David. I think something valuable gets broken in his brain this episode, because he makes this face for a solid 45% of it.

Though I mean . . . I’m not complaining. It’s a damn cute face, and he looks like a sad kitten.

(Do I relate all things I find adorable to kittens? Mayhap.)

1) Gwen is precious. I feel like this is a given at this point but will continue to point it out because I have a need to.

2) What is up with David’s center of gravity? Am I the only person who wouldn’t be able to balance like that?

Let me show you: an emotional breakdown in 4 pictures:

This is not a well woman, guys. She’s not holding on to her chill even a little bit.

(Also the way David looks down at his chest after she pokes him in it, like he’s saying “me?” I love him so much, guys. He is kitten.)

Davey trying to win the family over with sweet dance moves and a charming smile.

It doesn’t work.

Though Lordy, I literally made a goose-like honk at Gwen’s face.

(It’s at this point, at 11 p.m. on a work night, that I decided not to break this up into separate parts like I did for the first episode. This might be a terrible idea.)

(Editing this at almost 1 a.m. on a work night: It was a terrible idea.)

These 3 pictures are less than 2 seconds apart. I fucking love the animation on this show.

(And hey, it’s my icon! Hi icon!)

Why is beat-up David so attractive? Is it me? Am I just a monster?

Not a single face here isn’t great. These beautiful babes.

So the general plot of this episode (not that you come here for plot synopses. You come here for pictures and lots of screaming) is that everyone at camp has to be nice for 24 hours or they have to surrender their best camper to the Woodscouts.

It . . .

. . . doesn’t come naturally to them.

Wait, no. This is the picture I want described by someone who’s never seen Camp Camp before.

I cropped out what they’re reacting to in this shot.

That’s because I love you.

(Starting to regret this whole “not breaking into parts thing.” Will I be weak enough to cave? Who knows?)

(Editing note: Nope! I wasn’t! Oops!)

Is it me, or is Max more expressive this season? Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention previously, but it seems like his faces are way more entertaining in these most recent episodes.

In an epic battle of who can be the most charming while leaning, Nikki goes for a classic jazz hands approach that’s sure to impress the judges, Neil opts for a safe routine with minimal leaning but excessive raptor arms (points for originality), and Space Kid brings home the gold because he looks like an old-timey farmer holding up invisible suspenders/overalls, and that’s not easy to accomplish while wearing a space suit made out of cardboard and underwear.

Observe: 3 Very Angry Beans. You can tell they’re Very Angry Beans because of their Very Angry Mouths. Approach with caution.

I would die for David. Just wanted to throw that out there.

I wish I didn’t find Max’s suffering so adorable. (Editing note: I also wish I used a thesaurus. Oh well. Hope you like variations on the word “adorable!”)

Then again, I wish I was asleep and also I’d like some carrot cake, so it’s just an evening/early morning of disappointments.

Why golly, is it time for more Gwen faces?! I believe it is!

AWOOOOOOO

WEREWOLVES OF CAMP CAMP

shut up I think I’m funny

David’s making The Face. The Face that makes me think something’s broken inside him, because he makes it throughout this entire scene with very few exceptions.

But again, it’s a great face.

(Also look at Nikki and Gwen sizing each other up. Isn’t it cute?)

I think my favorite thing about this episode is, like in S2 Ep. 3 — which I’ll get to eventually! — we see Gwen genuinely does care. This is more than just a paycheck for her; she wants the kids to be happy and respect each other, she wants them to learn and even have fun (provided that fun isn’t ruining her life). She’s worried about Jermy, and she trusts and respects the campers to understand what she thought they were doing that was uncool and why.

She’s actually good at her job, and at any other camp she might even enjoy it to some extent. She’s just been very beaten down by the Campbell kids to the point of apathy and, ahem, “crippling anxiety and regret.”

Basically Gwen’s what happens when Max succeeds at what he was trying to do to David all season 1.

Pfft. Cute. I love Jermy just for the suffering he inflicts on the mains. (Also he’s surprisingly aware of what a disaster he is, without being depressed about it. I can respect that.)

David’s making that face again.

Why does he keep making that face?

David’s brain might have gone all Blue Screen of Death, but Gwen’s actually sets on fire:

I feel like maybe I should take back what I said about her being good at her job. She’s still not great with kids, okay?

But she cares. That’s the important part.

I don’t know if Petrol will get the credit he deserves for this episode, but he’s just pure comedic gold. Every time he shows up it’s fucking funny.

The Most Important Things in Forestwater’s Life Right Now: A Triptych

David’s face

David’s moonwalking

Gwen’s face

(Also: Petrol. Continuing to make me giggle way too loud and disturb my neighbors.)

If you’ll forgive me a little shipping (and if you’ve scrolled this far, I think it’s pretty clear you’ll forgive basically anything): Look at her soul-crushing despair. That is a face you give someone when you’re close enough to communicate to them without a word.

Okay, I mean what she’s communicating is “kill me,” but I still think it counts. You don’t give that kinda eye contact to a casual acquaintance, is all I’m saying.

I feel like I haven’t properly communicated how much I love every expression this woman makes.

Is that clear yet?

Look how proud David is that his babies are participating!

This is entirely for @hopefullypessimistic84, who could always use a cute Nerris in her life.

MAX

MY BOY

My favorite part about the next few pictures is how you can clearly see every thought in Gwen’s head as she’s thinking it.

“All right, you’ll be fine. Just think positive! Be David!”

“Okay no, don’t be David. Never be David. But remember how much you like not living with your parents! Do it for the rent money!”

“Yeah, look at you, girl. You got this!”

“Please don’t let David or Max fuck this up.”

“Oh, Christ.”

“Oh, CHRIST.”

“Literally no one else is gonna take care of this shit. This is your job. You HAVE to.”

“Still better than living with your parents. Technically.”

Petrol continues to be very very good.

Max pulling out his hair in frustration at having to be nice is a beautiful thing and I want more of it.

He is an angry elf.

NURF! BABY! Why are you sad? You did such a good art! You should be so happy!

Please don’t cry, Nurf. I love you.

This shot is also for HopefullyPessimistic, and I hope she appreciates it because it was really hard to get. Nerris was onscreen for like 2 seconds and the cup was in her face for most of it.

Petrol.

Is.

Hilarious.

He somehow became one of my favorite characters? How the fuck did that happen?

This show is sometimes just so pretty, guys.

Pfft.

Some brief Preston appreciation, because I don’t pay him enough attention. With an appearance by Petrol.

1) David is pure and beautiful.

2) Gwen is fucking done. With everything, but especially David.

3) QM is . . . what’s he doing to his hand? Because it really looks like he’s ripping off his fingernail. That’s . . . I mean, I don’t wanna tell you how to live your life, especially since I’m pretty sure you’re older than most municipalities so clearly you’re doing something right, but I feel like that’s not a great idea, my man.

I didn’t know that Max slowly losing his mind was my aesthetic, but apparently it is because these pictures make me laugh my ass off every time I see them.

Nurf has Sassy Eyebrows.

(Editing note: My thoughts started deteriorating around midnight. You might be able to tell by the quality of my commentary.)

I’m sorry. I know Dolph is a super controversial character and all . . . but goddamn it, he’s cute as fuck. I can’t help but like him.

*Daniel neck crick*

Max is such a force to be reckoned with that a dog pile must be created to contain his rage.

Also I’m not sure where Ered or Harrison’s heads are in that nightmare, but it can’t be comfortable. That’s some serious dedication to the cause, kids. Nikki’s clearly having the time of her life. And Space Kid . . . uh, good effort, I guess?

These are pictures of a fully-grown man mocking a child who has been put under his care. Does that make them any less adorable?

No. Such is David’s terrifying power.

Tremble before his cuteness, bitches.

“I’m an asshole!”

But he’s a daggum lovable asshole, isn’t he?

Max’s relief at finally being able to call David a moron and tell him to suck a dick . . . I don’t wanna say he looks like a happy kitty.

Just know I’m thinking it very very loudly.

What a sweet child.

Final Petrol appreciation: he still has the whistle in his mouth. He is a good and loyal boy.

It’s The Face.

Again.

(Gwen is lovely. As usual.)

Look at this smug motherfucker. He even makes this little “hmm” noise which is so cute, like everything worked out the way he’d planned it. Anyone who says David isn’t a dick isn’t watching the show closely enough. He’s a selfish douchebag a lot of the time and it’s one of the best things about him.

Yes, Gwen. That is the appropriate reaction. (Also she backhanded him. That was no open-palm affair; that’s knuckles in his cheekbone. Gwen’s cold.)

Oh, and sorry about the volume slider. If it wasn’t 12:30 in the morning I’d totally fix that.

David makes a sad little “eunghh” sound when she hits him. It is also too precious for words.

Look at his hair floof! Look how it floofs!

(there is a nervous giggle here. I melted)

I once saw a man so beautiful I started crying?

Something these pictures will never be able to accurately communicate:

1) The way there’s this lovely light 1980s-sitcom Very Special Episode music playing in the background, like David’s going to impart a moral. (Spoiler: he doesn’t)

2) The way Miles’ voice kept cracking like a fa — a bunch of pine birch sticks this whole episode. You might be surprised to find that I think it’s adorable. I’m not sure how you possibly could be surprised by that, but you might be.

“Maybe I AM an asshole.”

“Just . . . sometimes, okay?! Sometimes!”

The best moral and possibly my new favorite line to randomly quote.

LOOK AT THE BLUSHY BOY

LOOK HOW HANDSOME HE IS

HOW PURE

HOW FLUSTERED

WATCH HIM STORM OFF WITH THAT LITTLE ANGRY POUT

HE’S PROBABLY OFF TO ANGRY-CRY AND WRITE IN HIS DIARY

MAYBE CALL HIS MOM AND ASK IF SHE’S DISAPPOINTED IN HIM

HE IS THE SWEETEST

Even if I didn’t love every minute of the episode leading up to this (and I do), these last 5 seconds would absolutely skyrocket it to one of my favorites of the entire show. Just look how fucking cute this is. Look at it!

David is bad at being a person and we love him for it.

And here ends the longest, stupidest thing I’ve ever written. I’m genuinely curious to see if anyone made it all the way through. If you did . . . you deserve a cookie or something. Definitely mention in the tags or send me an ask saying you did, because I wanna know who’s almost as nerdy and lame as I am!

#campcamp #campcamp season 2 #gwenvid #cc gwen #cc david #cc nikki #cc neil #cc max #campcamp masterpost #cc jermy #cc woodscouts #cc nurf #cc nerris #cc petrol #cc preston #cc space kid #cc dolph #cc pikeman

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michaelmakesafanfic · 7 years

Text

Rich Post-Squip

Talking.

I felt like I was finally resurfacing after being submerged in water for days. Everything hurt. It feels like something is missing…

I slowly open my eyes and look around, still too sore to sit up. Not that I could, because after looking at the rest of myself, it appears that I am in a full-body cast. Turning my head to the right, I can barely make out Jeremy’s pale and slender frame on a bed next to my own. But why would he be here…?

Oh my god.

I woke up completely all at once and let my eyes dart around the room. No signs of him anywhere.

I feel like I could cry.

I lived with that squip for over a year and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of it. Well, I guess I knew how, I just couldn’t get my hands on the discontinued soft drink.

I screamed with joy.

A nurse came by to check and see that I was okay and note that I had finally awoken.

“It’s really gone?!” I exclaimed.

My eyes widened with realization. That was all I needed to hear. Those three words confirmed that I was finally free.

My lisp is back.

My squip would constantly tell me how “uncool” and “annoying” it was and I would often agree. But now, I could not have been more excited to hear it. Tears welled in my eyes. The squip was finally gone.

“Jeremy has a visitor,” the nurse said, completely ignoring my emotional breakdown.

I looked up to see a taller boy enter the room (who am I kidding, everyone from my perspective) with black hair and glasses to match. He wore a red jacket that was absolutely covered with all kinds of patches and headphones around his neck. I recognized him too well.

“Michael?”

He stood over by Jeremy’s bed, stiffening as I said his name. Of course, he had every right to be mad at me. Not only was I the reason Jeremy got a squip, but I also wasn’t that kind to either of them at school.

“Rich,” he nodded and diverted his attention to Jeremy.

“So, I, uh. I would like to apologize for everything. I was kind of an ass to you both and that really wasn’t cool.”

Michael looked up at me in shock. “You what?”

“I’m sorry, for all of it. Especially the backpack thing.”

The other boy could barely contain his laughter. “I don’t believe we’ve formally met. Michael Mell, nice to meet you.”

“Richard Goranski, same.”

He smiled at me then turned back to Jeremy. He sat down on the edge of his bed, and took Jeremy’s hand and simply held it. He brushed some hair from the other’s eyes and just stared down at the unconscious boy.

“He’s gonna be really happy when he wakes up,” I said, watching the touching encounter. “ I know I was.”

“Um, just out of curiosity, how long have you been out?” He asked.

“The last thing I remember was the Halloween party. Everything blacked out a little after your breakdown in the bathroom. You’re a pretty good singer, by the way.”

The (half) Filipino boy blushed at my compliment, he probably didn’t realize how loud he had been. “Um, thanks. Has anyone been in here to tell you what happened while you were out?”

I shook my head and he sighed.

“Well, things were a little crazy after the party because… I’m sure someone else can explain that situation to you. I don’t know if you are mentally stable enough to process that yet. Anyways, the school play happened, the whole cast got squipped, and essentially I got Jeremy some Mountain Dew Red. Christine drank it and all the squips deactivated which I guess is why yours isn’t working anymore.”

“Oh. Okay.”

There was a little bit of awkward silence after that. Michael absentmindedly rubbed the back of his neck and let the fingers on his other hand trace over Jeremy’s knuckles.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours. Everything just feels so different and I don’t think I have completely processed it yet. No more shocks, no more holograms following around and berating me for everything I do wrong. I’m finally free.

Michael finally stood up and let go of Jeremy’s hand, staring at his face as if he was expecting the boy to wake up. He didn’t. Michael turned away and faced the exit. He stopped for a second and looked back at me.

“Just so you know… I forgive you for everything. Jeremy couldn’t see me for weeks and was being manipulated by that super computer. I can’t imagine being on the other side of that. Squips are about the worst thing that have ever happened to me.”

“Believe me,” I sighed. “Me too.”

He nodded, a small grin on his face, and then left me alone so he could go do whatever the hell he does in his free time. I never really got to know him. I reviewed everything that I know about Michael. His name, he probably listens to music based on the headphones… that’s about it. I remember him very vaguely freshman year. We were both kinda losers/loners who didn’t really fit in. The only real difference between the two of us was that he had a best friend. He and Jeremy have been hanging out for years and I remember being a little jealous of how close they seemed. That’s one of the reasons I got the squip: because I wanted a best friend like Michael had Jeremy. They never seemed to care about fitting in and would just do their own thing. After I got the squip, I learned that their relationship was “wrong” and gave up on that idea and settled for the fake friends I got from being popular.

Now that the SQUIP is gone, I need to reevaluate what I want. I could keep faking everything and keep these friends I’ve made, or I could give it all up and work from the bottom. After everything that’s happened, I think I’m ready to start over.

~*~ Time Skip ~*~

It’s been a few days since I first woke up. Michael has stopped by every day after school to check up on Jeremy and just chat with me for a while. Other than that, I haven’t had any visitors. Apparently, I need to heal for a few more days before the doctors decide what to do with me. I’ve lost track of time here considering there aren’t any windows and I can sleep whenever I want. My muscles have been cramping from lack of movement, but I’m getting pain medication for that.

“Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.”

I turn to see Jeremy stirring in his sleep and attempting to sit up.

“Feels like you’re missing a part of yourself, doesn’t it?”

“… Rich?”

“Hurts like a motherfucker too. Be honest: what are they saying about me at school?”

… He says nothing.

My face falls. “That bad?”

“Sorry…”

“Sorry? I’m finally free of that shiny happy hive mind! When I get outta here, the ladies are gonna learn to love the real Richard Goranski.” Something clicks in my brain and I look at Jeremy with wide eyes. “And the dudes. Oh my god, I am totally bi!”

“Your squip’s gone? But how?” Jeremy said completely ignoring my epiphany.

“Ask your buddy. Anti-social headphones kid? He’s been by like, a ton, by the way. What is he, your boyfriend? No judgement. Just curious. Totally bi now.”

Speak of the devil. Michael entered wearing his usual jacket and dark jeans. His hair was a little messed up, but he still looked pretty good. It’s nice that I can appreciate that now. Totally bi.

“I’m sure some special someone will be lucky to have you, Rich,” he grinned.

“You think?” I beamed back at him.

In one fluid movement, Michael pulled the curtain that was separating us closed. Rude. I stayed silent and listened in on their conversation. Apparently, Jeremy’s dad came in as well and Jeremy was really happy that his dad was wearing pants? I’m not gonna question that one. And he was planning on asking out Christine.

“You gotta buy her a rose, compliment her on her clothes,” Mr. Heere sang from the other side of the curtain.

“Say you appreciate that she’s smart.” Michael gave his line with a hint of sadness. I still think they’re going out and no one can tell me otherwise.

Regardless, I have had enough of this mushy shit.

“Nah man you tell her that she excites you sexually!” I yell, doing my best to pull back the curtain separating us. “Trust me, I know how it’s gonna go. Just listen and oh~”

Aaaaaand they all left me. Welp. Guess I can just be left here in a full body cast unable to move. Sure, go ahead.

~*~ Time Skip ~*~

Hours passed where I drifted in and out of sleep. I have just woken up to someone speaking next to me. My eyes fluttered open to find a very familiar face.

“Jake? Is that you?”

“Man, I thought breaking both of my legs was bad,” he laughed with a little bit of a bitter undertone.

I looked over to see that Jake was, in fact, in a wheelchair.

“Wait. How did you break your legs?!”

“Are you being serious right now?” Jake said, no amusement on his face whatsoever.

“Uh, yes?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Everything went dark after my little outburst. I just heard ‘warning’ over and over again and just blacked out. And here I am a week later.”

Jake stared at me with a blank expression, his head cocked to the side.

“You really don’t remember anything after that?”

“Uh, no? What happened?” I was starting to get worried.

“Brace yourself…wow that was unintentional, I’m sorry.”

“C’mon! What happened?!”

“You may or may not have burned my house down… And I may or may not have broken my legs trying to escape…”

I felt my jaw drop as I looked to Jake for any signs that he was joking.

“Y-you’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he sighed.

Oh. My. God.

“It must have been my squip! I am so so so sorry! - what is it?” Small giggles escaped Jake’s mouth as he tried to cover them and keep a straight face.

“Stop saying words with the letter ‘s’, it’s really hard to take you seriously,” he managed, hesitating between gasps of air from laughing too much.

“Hey! It’s not my fault! My squip was what repressed my lisp and I- wait. Are you even mad about the whole burning down your house thing?”

“Not really. We have insurance that covered most of the damages and I’ve been staying at a really nice hotel. My parents aren’t back yet, so we’ll see how they react but I’m cool with it.”

“I still can’t believe I did that, squip or no squip. Ugh, that is totally not the way to impress your crush. Yeah, sure! Just go burn his fucking house down!”

“…What?”

Shit.

“Now might be a good time to tell you… I’m totally bi now.”

The two of us sat in silence for a few minutes, just staring at each other. For once in my life, I didn’t know what to say. Being speechless is a practically new feeling to me considering my squip would always just tell me what to say if things got awkward. Now I guess I’ll need to relearn some stuff like that.

“Well, thanks for stopping by, feel free to leave now so I can recover both physically and emotionally,” I said, trying to get Jake to leave so I could just try not to think about the reputation I just ruined.

Jake bit his lip, not so subtly trying to hold back another wave of giggles.

“Ugh, what now?”

“I’ve just never seen you embarrassed before, it’s actually pretty cute.”

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I diverted my attention.

“You can go now.”

“No, really. I would never pass up an opportunity to see you like this. Oh my god that’s adorable.”

“Jaaaaaake,” I sighed.

He just chuckled and sat there, his eyes still on my burning face.

“By the way, are we just going to forget the whole ‘crush’ thing never happened?”

I grunted and threw my head back into the pillow I had been leaning against.

“I give up. I won’t talk anymore and hope you just go away.”

“Rich?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Seriously?”

Still no response.

“Fine, then I’ll just talk. Rich, I really don’t know how I feel about you. I mean, I just learned that everything I knew about you was a lie, so I’m just confused. I actually identify as pansexual, so I would need to know the real you before I decide whether you’re ‘boyfriend material’ or whatever. But I would be willing to give us a shot.”

I sat up and looked back at him. “Wait, really?! You really want to try this?”

He rolled closer to my bed and pecked my cheek.

“I want to get to know the real Rich Goranski,” he smiled.

I grinned back, my face still a bright red.

“Well for starters, it’s Richard Goranski.”

And in that moment, everything was perfect.

#be more chill #bmc #bmc musical #rich goranski #richard goranski #jake dillinger #bmc rich #bmc jake #bmc michael #michael mell #jeremy heere #bmc jeremy #post-squip #richjake

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adrianvsart · 7 years

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memorable and overall funny camp camp quotes

well…after 8 HOURS, i’ve finally rewatched the camp camp series for almost the 5th time. and boy, was it agonizing to say the least. nevertheless, it felt very rewarding after i finished gathering all the quotes together.

ill be updating this as new episodes are released but these are the ones out to the public so far (not including the new ones released on the rooster teeth website as i will wait until its posted on youtube).

it’s under the cut because, oh boy, is this LONG;

Episode 1, Escape From Camp Campbell

“Can you believe it, Max? We’re getting not one! not three! but two new campers today!” “Yup! it’s really truly horrifying.”

“I’m not here to make friends, David! I’m here because camp is where kids are sent when their parents don’t wanna deal with them. Why do you think we return the favor when they hit seventy?”

“Hang on a sec, what are you even doing out here?” “Well, it’s definitely not because the bus only comes from the city to drop off and pick up campers and so far seems to be my only reasonable method of escaping this fucking nightmare of a camp. Definitely not that.” “Heeey…language.”

“Suck a dic-” “All I want is for you kids to have as much fun as I did when I was a Campbell camper! Is that really too much to ask?” “I refuse to believe someone as happy as you can possibly exist.”

“No, silly! This is adventure camp! Ad-vent-ure! My mom said so! Unless she was lying…again. Sorry about that hand by the way, just exerting dominance, you know how it goes.”

“Max, you are not leaving my side for the rest of the day!” “We’ll see about that, CAMP. MAN.”

“Tell ‘em just how much you love it, Max!” “See, that’s the sad thing…he still actually thinks that I love it.”

“Gooood morning, Gwen!” “MOTHERFUCKER!”

“Nurf, you don’t crank shit! Get down from there Space Kid!”

“What about that astronaut kid?” “Astronauts, the wannabe jocks of the scientific community? Please.”

“Yeah, so far every attempt to answer our questions just raises more questions.” “Hey, good for you! You’re starting to catch on!”

“[Pulling out guitar] Well, I’m glad you asked, because I have a little song that I can sing–” “No.” “[Putting back guitar] When Gwen’s not around.”

“You are the bane of my existence.”

“This is bullshit!” “Woah, check out the balls on new kid.” “[Looking down at her crotch] Where?”

“Oh god, it’s coming back, the crippling anxiety and regret.”

“Why would you help us?” “I’m an agent of chaos.”

“Oh no. I hope YOU learned, David! I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. But now you’ve got three."

Episode 2, Mascot

"Oh, he talked! Did you hear that?!” “Are you a gypsy?” “Uhhh…”

“[After just flinging the camp mascot to the next island with a huge rock instead of hitting David] Aw, man…That was supposed to kill you.”

“Well, Max, we were going to make hand-made ice cream, but someone killed our mascot and now we need a new one BECAUSE EVERY GOOD CAMP HAS A MASCOT, MAX!”

“Lady-sickness. My mom used to get that all the time.” “How do you cure it?” “EDGE CLOSER TO DEATH.”

“Calm down, it’ll be fine. Besides, anything’s better than hanging with DAVID."

"Sorry everyone, just…really overwhelmed by all this friendship right now.”

“What’s WRONG?! I wanted to spend my summer in an air conditioned laboratory! Not walking around a future Wal-Mart parking lot!” “Aw, come on, Neil! Nature can be your friend if you just give it a chance!” “…There’s a raccoon trying to scavenge Nerris.”

“It’s resistent to charms!” “Nerris! Play dead!” “I’m out of mana!"

"Uh…this looks like the place teenagers go to get stabbed.” “…Probably.”

“Hey, so, how’d you lose that hand anyway?” “[unintelligible mumble] JEWS [unintelligible mumble]” “…I feel like you should be more specific.”

“[Sigh] Well, I guess Nikki was right. Enjoy wearing my skin.”

“[After killing a squirrel] Mascot.” “DUDE! YOU FUCKING KILLED IT!” “…Oh.”

“[Aggressively killing animals] I AM THE KING NOW! THE THRONE IS MINE!"

"Wh-Where’d it go?! Bring it back!” “Oh…I don’t know how. This is kinda why I’m here.”

“Where do we go now?!” “I don’t know! This was a really bad idea in hindsight!”

“I WANT A VIKING’S FUNERAL! LIGHT ME UP!”

“…Why do you always have to make things weird and complicated?” “Well, I mean, I think this is all pretty normal…”

“Does this mean we’ll be the Camp Campbell Platties?!” “No, I don’t think so.”

"…What about the pussies?“ "Definitely not!” “Yeah, I like that!” “Pussies for life.”

“…So what’s with the Quartermaster and Jews?”

Episode 3, Scout’s Dishonor

“Ah…another wonderful day at Camp Campbell. All that’s left to do now is recharge with a full eight hours of lying in bed…awake! Waiting for tomorrow!”

“Alright, guys, our first attempt to bust out of this god-forsaken hellhole didn’t work.”

“So…what are you gonna do on the outside?” “Probably live with the animals. Try and get raised by wolves, maybe work my way up to alpha. Pee on stuff.”

“I think I’ll go to my dad’s house and tell him that mom sent me to an abusive summer camp. Pretend to like him more so she’ll try to buy back my love." "That’s really dark, Neil.”

“Where are we?” “Where happiness goes to DIE.”

“WHY DO YOU KEEP HITTING ME?! AND WHY IS IT ONLY CLOUDY OVER YOUR SIDE OF THE LAKE?!”

“God, your face is gross.” “…What…?” “Oh, sorry, that just slipped out…” “Dude…” “Sorry… I know… That was mean.” “It really was…”

“Oh, we don’t kidnap campers. That’d be immoral.” “THAT GUY LITERALLY STABBED ME IN THE BACK!”

“Neeancy, boys are supposed to be tough.” “And rugged.” “And if they pee in you, you get pregnant!”

“Y'all are some ignorant fucking cunts!”

“[Dreamily]…he can pee in me anytime.” “Tabii seriously, what the fuck?!”

“That was super gay.” “We JUST learned a lesson about stereotyping!”

“You know, maybe I don’t hate Camp Campbell, maybe I hate EVERYTHING."

Episode 4, Camp Cool Kidz

"This sucks…This is the kind of peasant work my parents left their home country to avoid."

"That’s fucking stupid, nicknames don’t make you cool.” “Pssh, spoken like a true first-part nicknamer.”

“No one’s TOO cool to talk to. Even cool kids take giant, uncomfortable shits from time to time. Helps remind you that we’re all equal.”

“Oh, maybe he’ll give us a raise! Or, tell me I’m like the son he never had!” “…Or explain why he’s wanted by the government.” “Or that. Yeah, there’s that."

"WE GOT OURSELVES AN UPRISIN’!”

“Max! I am very disappointed in you for this behavior! But I’m also torn, because you were clearly paying attention during knot-tying class!”

“This is just like Le Mis! Ah, I love it!” “Don’t make this lame, Preston.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the hell up! Did you nerds forget who revolutionized this place?! I should be leading you! Not "x-treme sports barbie” over here!“

"Rage-against-the-machine-fight-the-power-9/11!” “Progressive buzzwords can’t save you now.”

“Like the minutemen of the Revolution, we will fight for our independence!” “Minuteman…mommy calls daddy that when they argue.”

“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this. It’s only been a few hours and we’ve already gone shirtless!”

“Aw, man! Sooo uncool.” “MURDER HIM!”

“What are you kids doing?!” “We’re gonna kill Space Kid!”

“You guys are here to rescue me?!” “No! Shut up David!” “Aw…”

“No fighting! Violence never solves anything!” “STAB HER, BITCH!”

“OH GOD! SOMEONE STOP-DROP-AND-ROLL ME!”

Episode 5, Journey to Spooky Island

“I was VERY innocent and impressionable back then!” “…So, last week?”

“What’s scary is how much I wanna kill myself right now.”

“So help me if this involves vampire romance.” “I-It could’ve been werewolves. You don’t know!”

“Here’s a horror story, go look at the job market you’re dealing with after this camp shuts down!”

“[After a squirrel jumps out of Space Kid’s spacesuit] Wait a minute! How is it that you aren’t even phased by that?!” “Might’ve helped if I hadn’t put it in his suit to begin with.”

“Wh-what do you think about that moaning and wailing?” “Pssh, it’s just teenagers from that church camp working on those repressions again. Not that I know anything about it, just being a kid and all.”

“So…No dead campers then?” “Nope! We’re good!” “Damn.”

“What’s with space case?” “Squirrel-splosion.”

“Ah…So the revolution has begun…”

“Pssh, ghosts don’t exist. You die, and then you’re faced with eternal nothingness. It’s gonna be great.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW?! YOU’VE NEVER DIED!”

“We’ll see who’s yawning when we’re all DEAD!” “Why would we…?”

“That seems redundant.” “Yeah, and I think endangered…”

“I AM NOT ABOUT THIS SHIT, NIKKI! SCIENCE HAS IT’S LIMITS!” “Don’t be so naive, this is mild experimentation at best.”

“You know what this is? Proof that the founder of Camp Campbell is a rich piece of shit with terrible morals and who also potentially kills people! …ALL THINGS I WAS ALREADY PRETTY SURE OF!”

“But the monsters! The wails! You can’t explain that!” “Actually…” “THE HELL I CAN’T!”

“Guess that goes to show that sometimes, the only thing scarier than monsters and ghosts…is real life. Specifically old people having sex. Weird, kinky sex. In a dungeon. Boy, that is…that is some dark shit.”

Episode 6, Reigny Day

“Under my rule, I WILL MAKE CAMP CAMPBELL GREAT AGAIN” “[Thinking] This is probably fine.”

“WHAT DID YOU DO WITH NEIL, NURF? SHOVE HIM IN A LOCKER? MAKE HIM PROM QUEEN, ONLY TO COVER HIM IN BLOOD?”

“You seem pretty confident about that. Where were you on the night of-” “Shut up, let’s go find him.”

“Yeah? What did you think I meant? I’m not some kind of secret police or something.”

“[Nervously] All right kiddos, why don’t we take this conversation somewhere else, like another room! Or another camp!”

“We shall make an example of him! Let the hunt begin!” “[Thinking] This is still fine.”

“[After Preston destroys the floorboards with a crowbar] This has escalated quickly.”

“[Thinking, after getting nervous about the judges] This is no longer fine.”

“[Thinking] I can’t believe I lost to Dolph, he isn’t even a counselor!” “[Thinking] Plus he really looks like Hitler.”

Episode 7, Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected

“Please, the theater demands your utmost respect-” “[Through megaphone] SHUT YOUR YAPS, IT’S TIME FOR THE PLAY!” “Ahem, thank you Gwen.” “[Through megaphone] DON’T MENTION IT!”

“Y'know, Juliet should’ve done karate instead of kissing boys. HIYAH! Maybe she wouldn’t have died then.”

“Has anyone seen my phone? I must have dropped it while doing my smile exercises.” “Don’t admit to that…”

“Guuys, you’re just adding to my anxiety! If you don’t return the phone, I’m going to have a panic attack, and that’s on you!”

“Yo, did someone say black magic?” “[Facepalming] Amateurs!”

“Thanks for your contribution, an inanimate object stuffed with hay could have acted better! [Turning to the platypus] Platypus, you’re doing great! Stole the scene! Keep it up!”

“Alright people, get your SHIT together!”

“You’re up next, break a leg, buddy.” “You’re right! If I’m injured, I can’t preform! Hit me! Hit me hard! It’s gotta look convincing!”

“Our love is forbidden just like Romeo and Juliet’s but we will be together even if it costs us our lives. UGH! It’s so romantic, I wanna die!” “He called us cunts last time he saw us.”

“I’m gonna make that kissing scene so hot, it’ll be rated TV Y 7.”

“It appears, my son, in her sorrow, she killed herself.” “Nooo! [Seinfeld music]”

“Ugh. Why is he so sweaty? Robots can’t sweat. THIS ISN’T CANON!”

“I don’t know who this BITCH is, but she is KILLING IT! AH!”

“I need to stop this!” “Why? This is awesome! Whoo! You go girl!”

“The theater! The cruelest mistress of all! My career! Like the mistakes of so many teenage girls, has been aborted.”

“Oh, nobody plays Bonquisha like that!” “[In distance] Kick his ass!”

“What about me? Where’s MY apology?” “I’m gonna be honest, I’m not sure who you are.”

“[Holding up a picture of Cameron Campbell] Have you seen this man?” “Oh, uh, I’ve been told to tell you no.”

“They don’t give Oscars for stage performances.” “That’s how good it was.”

Episode 8, Into Town

“What did I say? I said don’t do fire safety camp and political history camp in the same day unless you reeeeaaally want it to turn into riot control camp."

"You’re still on fire, btw!” “Thank you.”

“Eyy, we’re talking here!” “The moon landings were a hoax filmed in Area 51 orchestrated by the government as a publicity stunt designed to humiliate the Russians in the space race!” “Noooooo! No! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

“Ah! Sweet 22.2 degrees Celsius, here we come!” “You idiot! This isn’t about air conditioning!”

“Just what exactly do you think he’s into?” “Hookers and blow!” “[Simultaneously] WHAT?!”

“Neil, you go be Neil in the nerd shop. Just stay here and keep an eye on the wagon. Get ready to haul ass if you see David about to leave.”

“Eeny-meeny-miny-mo, what lame place did David go…in?”

“Don’t serve your kind here.” “Your kind? Your kind?! Care to be more specific, sir? I’m calling you out!” “Kids.” “Oh, well that’s totally understandable.”

“Him? Yeahh, he’s a bit on edge now, isn’t he? Kept saying something about how it was all some kid’s fault.” “I know what you’re thinking. You’re totally right.”

“So, he come here often? Is he a sad drunk? Happy drunk? Gay drunk?”

“He beat a women?! David, you unbelievable bastard, I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“[Coughing] Max? I think I’m dying.”

“[To Max] Don’t come back. [To Nikki] Come back when you’re 18.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t wanna drive him to murder! I just wanted to show him that his entire philosophical outlook on life is flawed and that the fundamental beliefs and ideologies he holds so dearly are trivial so that he’ll start crying himself to sleep like the rest of us! I’m not a monster!”

“You sick bastard! Your getaway from the camp is TO GO CAMPING?!”

“Just. Kill us!”

Episode 9, David Gets Hard

“FUCK YEAH, SCARE ME STRAIGHT!”

“Well, we’re gonna learn that little shit some manners, David! Because we are contractually obligated to!"

"After all, there’s only one camper at Camp Campbell worse than him, and it’s me.”

“What do you want?” “Double desert, no activities for a week, and David’s social security number.” “Done.” “Gwen!” “SHUT UP, DAVID!” “Okay…”

“Today’s the day I get hard!” “Okay, maybe we don’t phrase it like that…” “Oh no! Rule 1: no backing down! Look out, world! I’m hard and I’m coming! Whether he likes it or not, Nurf is gonna let me in!”

“…So does he want to help Nurf or fuck him?"

"You’re pathetic.” “And getting blood on my boot.”

“No, no! You’re being positive again! Gwen’s the fucking worst! She slacks off, reads garbage and has no idea what she’s doing with her life!” “[Angrily] What?”

"There’s no time-travelling doctor coming to save you Gwen! Get your shit together!“

"Right! I know that’s probably hard to hear!” “No.” “And may have even been a little too far!” “Not at all” “But by golly, it seems to me you’ve never been very polite to anyone!” “[Muttering] God damn it.”

“Man, he is…way more fucked up than I thought.”

“[Sarcastically] Oops, didn’t see you there! [Normally] Just kidding, I was fully aware of the situation. I’m just acting out for attention. That being said, I do think I need corrective lenses, my mom just won’t take me."

"Oh, so we’re doing the whole Freudian thing now? Everyone wants to fuck their own mom, get over it!”

“So, what are you gonna do now?” “STAB MY DAD!” “NO! What?! Why?!”

“What do you expect? I’m just a kid! Eat my farts, butt-nut!”

“Well, I guess it turns out at the end of the day…sometimes you just gotta hit kids.”

Episode 10, Mind Freakers

“Sure, Harrison, that’s it. It’s certainly not because I believe in the fundamental laws of everything in existence which goes against the slightest chance of magic even being possible.”

“Get rekt, Harrison. Why don’t you do a real magic trick if you’re so good.”

“Oh! You just got Abraca-OWNED, Max!”

“Yes, and it would’ve been even better if it had happened to Neil as I intended, but you get the idea. Magic!”

“I do NOT feel okay!”

“It’s not like I’m gonna loose sleep over it. [Later that night] Shit.”

“Yeah! I believe! Cut me in half! I’ll be fine! …I’ll be fine? I’ll be fine!”

“Okay, Neil. I got you, fam.” “I don’t know what that means, but thank you.”

“How does Harrison have the Gaul to do something so hurtful, ya know?” “Yeah, it’s kinda shitty. I feel-” “It’s like he doesn’t even care how this affects ME!” “You?!” “Yeah! How can he be so selfish?”

“I don’t know, Neil. There’s still so much I need to learn. I gotta reach level 4 and I haven’t even been sorted into a house yet.”

“Just proving that any idiot with half a brain can do that trick you pulled off yesterday.” “Wait, are…are you calling yourself an idiot, Neil?” “SHUT UP SPACE KID.”

“YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, HARRISON!”

“The only thing I’m killing is your hocus-pocus bullshit, Harrison!”

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest trick of all. Getting a cynical, close-minded asshole to believe in magic!"

Episode 11, Camporee

"Guess who’s got two thumbs, diplomatic immunity and is here to host the annual Lake Lilac CAMPOREE?! This guy!”

“David, what the hell! No one told us about this!” “We’ve literally been telling you about it everyday for weeks.” “Yeah, but we never listen to you guys! Put up flyers or something.”

“Darn it, Teddy, you KNOW I’ve got a crippling gambling addiction!”

“Yo, David! I think I speak for all of us when I say that I don’t wanna become some fascist military peon!” “[Raising his hand] He does not speak for all of us.”

“BOO! Give us actual advice!”

“[Nervously] We just, uh, you know gotta believe in ourselves!” “Nope, we’re boned.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ! Campers, we are winning that FUCKING trophy!”

“[Innocently] Kill.”

Episode 12, The Order of the Sparrow

“Gwen, why is David dressed like a turkey?” “Because he’s fucking David, Nikki, you’ve been here long enough to figure that out.”

“Wow, that is racist.” “Seriously, are you offended?”

“[Whining] Do we have to?” “No, but-” “WAIT! Nevermind! It’s mandatory!”

“Tell us now, turkey man!”

“I can be nice! I’m the nicest!”

“David! You know me! You know I love nature! You know if I could, I would have BABIES with nature!”

“Resistance is futile, turkey man!”

“David. Witness me. Witness my love for nature! [Tries kissing platypus but it bites him instead] Ow! You whore! Let me love you, god damn it!”

“I can’t believe I frenched a platypus for this!”

“Life sucks. And we live in a world of desensitized, apathetic assholes. Why don’t you just get with the program and stop giving a shit.”

“That’s why I’ll never stop trying, because somebody fucking has to.”

“Wake up, buttercup!” “Nikki! No more arrows!” “You can’t control me, white devil!”

“Alright, I fixed it. Everybody hurry up and…ah, shit, he’s awake.”

“Max? Did you-” “DO NOT look too deeply into this. You suck, this world sucks, and one day we’re all gonna die and none of it will matter but if we didn’t do this, I’m pretty sure you’d kill yourself or something.” “[Sniffling] Oh, Max…” “Or shoot up the camp. I dunno, it was a possibility.”

Season 2, Episode 1, Cult Camp

“[Bursting through the door] Goooood morning, David!” “Goood morning, Gwen! Wait, this feels backwards.” “Yep!”

“But today’s the day!” “[Gasp] You’ve realized your love of Camp Campbell and everything it stands for?” “[Happily] HELL NO!”

“Ha, are pulling my leg?” “No leg-pulling here, but we are keen on handshakes!”

“You know, I think now is the perfect time to use my vacation days.” “[Simultaneously] Aw, Gwen. Are you sure?”

“[Picking on Max after he raises his hand] Yes, Max.” “[Points at Daniel] Who the fuck is that?” “Why, what an excellent question!”

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” “Whoa, watch the language there little fella!”

“I don’t really know what you’re selling here, Daniel…but I am BUYING IT!”

“Oh my fuck, he’s ACTUALLY- [Banging on David’s door] A CULTIST! YOU HIRED A FUCKING CULTIST, YOU IDIOT!”

“Again with these cult jokes, Max? Please.” “He gave everyone a "de-toxification” diet then started spouting off Latin from a book with a pentagram!“ "He’s bilingual AND cares about nutrition?!”

“[Sweetly] Hey, David?” “Yes, Nikki?” “WAKE UP AND SMELL THE KOOL-AID!”

“I would just like to point out the fucked-up implications of specifically YOU [points at Dolph] putting specifically ME [points at himself (Neil)] into a gas chamber.”

“I love you, Daniel!” “[Gasp] But…That’s not right! Max doesn’t love anything!”

“Poor guy, must have been some bad fruit punch.” “[Sigh] You’re a moron.”

Season 2, Episode 2, Anti-Social Network

“Nurf, leave me alone, or so help me, I will post photoshops everywhere of you kissing guys!” “Woah! Hey, somebody’s a little tense. You might want to look into some agression therapy. Besides, maybe I already tried to explore my sexuality…you don’t know. [Sniff] Chris, why did you leave me?”

“Oh my fucking god! Is it always just adventures with you two?!”

“It’s a chat bot.” “What do you mean?” “I mean, it’s a programmed, repetitive, humorless, inhuman, simulation of a person.” “Yeah, Neil!”

“Okay, okay. So maybe a couple of you might have critical thinking skills. Good for you, but other than that it’s all going according to plan.” “And what plan is that?” “The "get everyone to leave me the hell alone” plan. I’m a genius!“

"What could possibly go wrong?” “Everything, but until it does, I’m gonna go plug David into this thing and see how it plays out. Have fun doing…whatever.”

“Damn, Neil, you did that with graphing calculators?”

“This doesn’t make any sense. Every calculator’s running an updated version of my chat bot, but they’re all acting different.” “Yeah, I’m about three seconds away from removing the batteries from David’s.”

“Well I guess it’s a good thing we got them all. Can you imagine if someone impressionable and naive enough to believe everything they heard from a chat bot had-” “[Simultaneously] Oh my god, Nikki!”

“I can only hear about "shipping�� people’s “bae’s” for so long.“

"Calculations complete. My analysis is…absolutely fucking not! You humans all suck.”

Season 2, Episode 3, Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak

“Get rekt, Mr. Waffles.”

“Actually, we’ll take whatever we can get, preferably we wouldn’t be talking to either of you.”

“[After kicking the ground and supposedly making the Earth shake] Oh no, my anger has manifested!” “Get to a door frame!”

“How do you know so much about it, Gwen?” “Yeah, I thought you had a…liberal arts degree.” “[Sighs] Associates degree.” “Oh, that is so tragic.”

“You coming too, Max?” “Still got those dice?” “Yep!” “[Grabbing the dice and walking away] Nope.”

“You can be the dwarf, because they’re dumb and ugly, just like your face.” “Aww, yeah. That one hurt. But my mom says I’ll grow into my looks.”

“Oh god! It’s chirping menacingly at me!”

“Anyone else want a twenty-sided asskicking?”

“Big deal, so you threw a bunch of dice at some animals. Kind of a dick move, to be honest.”

“This is a level 1 cave at best. There aren’t even any fire-breathing dragons or even a dang ol’ goblin!"

"Oh, well, I guess that will work.” “[After the volcano starts to shake] IT FUCKING BETTER!”

“[After seeing the lava] Woah! Okay, well, saw the volcano, think it’s time we head back!”

“You’ve angered the mountain, Harrison! Gosh, you suck!” “I do not suck! You’re the sucking one!” “[In background] You both suck!”

“Oh, this is gonna be goood! Neil, are you seeing this?” “[Angrily] I’m going to hit you, Nikki!”

#camp camp #camp cambell #rooster teeth #camp camp quotes #please appreciate this #i spent for fucking ever on it oh my god

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nowyouseememe-archive-blog · 7 years

Text

guardians of the galaxy vol. 2

Super long GotG2 meme!

“Where are you taking me?”

“I thought your thing was a sword?”

“Swords were your thing and guns were mine.”

“I just didn’t know that.”

“I have sensitive nipples.”

“What about him? What’s he doing?”

“How is that important?”

“You’re being very serious right now.”

“I can clearly see you winking.”

“I am Groot.”

“They were not looking at you funny.”

“Get out of the way; you’re going to get hurt.”

“Spit it out. Come on! That’s disgusting!”

“The beast’s hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“I tried telling him that!”

“I have single-handedly vanquished the beast.”

“That’s nothing like what I just said.”

“They’re easily offended.”

“I guess I prefer to make people the old-fashioned way.”

“Perhaps someday you could give me a history lesson.”

“Family reunion. Yay.”

“I understand she is your sister.”

“You know, they told me you people were conceited douchebags, but that isn't true at all.”

“I’m sorry, that was meant to be behind your back.”

“Count yourself blessed.”

“You wanna buy some batteries?”

“I know you’re sensitive about that.”

“I’m not sensitive about it.”

“I just don’t know who he is.”

“She wouldn’t even tap her foot.”

“One might assume she was dead.”

“That does sound pretty hot.”

“It would make my nether regions engorge.”

“You just need to find a woman who is pathetic, like you.”

“I’m hungry.”

“I will be free of these shackles soon enough. And I will kill you.”

“This is weird.”

“What were you thinking?”

“Dude, they were really easy to steal.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize your motivation was altruism.”

“I was being sarcastic!”

“Now I look foolish!”

“Good! I wanna kill some guys!”

“You’re not killing anyone.”

“We hired them, and they steal from us…”

“You were cybernetically engineered to be a douchebag!”

“Stop it!”

“I have famously huge turds.”

“We’re about to die.”

“Put your seatbelt on!”

“That was awesome!”

“We almost died because of your arrogance.”

“I did it because I wanted to.”

“What are we even talking about this for?”

“If he got closer I’m sure he would be much larger.”

“That’s how eyesight works.”

“I’m sorry. I took it too far.”

“You are a fool if you deprive yourself a hand in combat.”

“You’ll attack me the moment I let you go.”

“You’d think an evil supervillain would learn how to properly lie.”

“After all these years, I’ve found you.”

“And who the hell are you?”

“I figured my rugged good looks would make that obvious.”

“You can go to Hell then.”

“I don’t give a damn what you think about me!”

“You’re gonna listen to what I gotta say.”

“You broke all our hearts.”

“I was a skinny little kid who could squeeze into places adults couldn’t.”

“You look exactly alike.”

“He’s not my father.”

“That son of a bitch.”

“I do not understand the intricacies of social interaction.”

“Can I pet your puppy?”

“I told you that when I was drunk.”

“I love that story.”

“I hate that story.”

“If he ends up being evil we will just kill him.”

“Shoot her if she does anything suspicious. Or if you feel like it.”

“Why do you have so much luggage?”

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“No one has ever asked me a personal question.”

“They are not for feeling doorways.”

“Dude, I think you’re overreacting a little bit.”

“You must be so embarrassed!”

“So unbelievably uncool.”

“Touch me, and the only thing you’re gonna feel is a broken jaw.”

“I can make a stubborn person compliant.”

“I love this song.”

“We got ourselves a pretty good little gig here.”

“There’s too many of them.”

“He needs my help.”

“I, too, am extraordinarily humble.”

“My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“It was beautiful.”

“I have searched for you for so long.”

“New plan. We’re killing you first.”

“Well, dying is certainly better than having to live an entire life as a moronic shitbag.”

“You can’t imagine what that’s like!”

“I had to watch her die!”

“So you’re a pet?”

“People usually want cute pets.”

“You are horrifying to look at.”

“There’s something I must tell you.”

“I’m learning many things, like I’m a pet and ugly.”

“You’re not ugly.”

“Can I smash it with a rock?”

“It’s too adorable to kill.”

“Your employees are a bunch of jerks.”

“Slow down, Drama Queen. You might deserve this but I don’t.”

“We gotta get outta here.”

“It’s a day for dumbass names.”

“And for a second I got a warm feeling. But then it was ruined by those disgusting-ass teeth.”

“You like, a professional asshole or what?”

“He’s goddang precious.”

“What did they do to you?”

“Then let’s just agree to never discuss this.”

“One minute you think someone has a weird-shaped head… the next minute it's just because you realize part of that head is the hat.”

“They killed all my friends.”

“So I guess this could all be mine someday.”

“I’m not going to dance with you.”

“If you ever tell anyone about this, I will kill you.”

“When are we gonna do something about this unspoken thing between us?”

“He’s my father; he’s blood.”

“Oh, I get it. You’re jealous.”

“I’m gonna go outside and I’m gonna try and get a signal.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I saved your life.”

“You were all I had.”

“I saw your girl stomp off a little earlier in quite a huff.”

“I’m gonna make some weird shit.”

“I like a woman with some meat on her bones.”

“I tried to let you down easily by telling you that I find you disgusting.”

“I’m imagining being with you physically.”

“I’m stupid. You are in danger.”

“Everything is temporary.”

“We are forever.”

“What are you laughing at me for?”

“We leave no one behind, except maybe you.”

“You killed my mother!”

“You really need to grow up.”

“Hey, there, Jackass!”

“I told you something didn’t feel right.”

“You people have issues.”

“Well of course I have issues!”

“That’s my frickin’ father!”

“It was just a random thought, man.”

“You don’t have to believe in yourself, because I believe in you.”

“And our fat butts ain’t gonna fit through those tiny holes.”

“Nobody has any tape!”

“I knew you were lying!”

“You look like Mary Poppins.”

“I’m Mary Poppins, y’all!”

“So stop pissing me off.”

“You shouldn’t have killed my mom and squished my Walkman.”

“We’re gonna need to have a real discussion about your language.”

“I’m not leaving without him.”

“I used to pretend David Hasselhoff was my dad.”

“You will always be my sister.”

“You gotta clean up your room. It’s a complete mess.”

“I am not boring. You’re boring.”

#| meme |#| memes |#really long #movies #guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy 2

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katsu-fatale · 7 years

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Am I a shitty person?

For the second half of May, I went abroad on a school trip to Australia. I didn’t get along with most of my peers because they were more concerned about getting drunk than actually experiencing the Culture and learning new things. I managed to be okay with one person on the trip, we’ll call him Brad. Brad and I hung out quite a bit. You know how in grade school you had friends that fell into two categories? One category involved friends who would come over to play on the weekends. And category 2 consisted of friends who were exclusively friends at school. Yknow, the kind you don’t invite to your birthday party, but there’s no hard feelings because you’re not THAT close. Brad fell into category 2. In fact, after this trip, I had no intention of keeping up a relationship with him. We existed for each others survival. And it took me plenty of energy just to be around him. He really liked to talk politics. I don’t mind politics but it was overwhelming. His next goal was to push my buttons. Throughout the trip I’d be subject to regular comments about how I need to lift more (despite me already being fit), how I was gaining weight on the trip (which was necessary--I was hovering just above the underweight line before we left), and how inferior I was because my knowledge of classic rock, though great compared to most people, was minimal compared to his. Ultimately, I kept Brad around during the trip because he was all I had, and I was all he had. And we both knew that even though under normal circumstances we wouldn’t have gotten to know each other, the other person was more tolerable than the rest of the class. At the very least, we entertained each other one way or another.

Flashing forward to today. It’s been about a month since we returned from Australia. Brad and I have had conversations via text maybe 4 times, and have seen each other in public once only for me to receive the external battery pack I lent him and forgot to get back.

Today is Brad’s 21st birthday. I don’t like saying Happy Birthday and being done with it -- not sure why. Usually I settle for a cute gif or a group of emojis via text. I’m not sure why I even bothered texting Brad, but I sent him a quick message just before taking a call from my father. The message said “What did you have for your first legal drink?” Brad has drank before, but being 21 is special because you can do it legally, so it’s still a special day to have a drink.

“I haven’t had anything yet.”

It is then that I receive a call from another, let’s call her Mei. I have a small crush on Mae. She has an amazing sense of humor, sunny disposition, and is passionate about everything she does. Also, she’s cute. Mei was craving Pho so we agreed to meet at a Pho place by my apartment for dinner.

After I get off the phone with Mei, my dad calls, and I start getting a flood of texts from Brad, asking if I’m free. Assuming dinner wouldn’t last too long, I said “Yeah” and proceeded to explain I was heading out for dinner at the moment. Why on earth would he want to hang out with me on his 21st? I wonder to myself. He had other friends. Better, closer friends. Had they forgotten him? Did he think we were closer than we actually were? I couldn’t just leave him alone on his birthday, but I had other plans...girl-date-ish plans. I guessed he could join us and we could go to to the barcade togehter.

I texted Mei and asked if Brad could join us for dinner. Then I invited Brad to join us. Brad has this horrible habit of saying rude/bigoted things ironically. Every once in a while, thought, he seriously is a closed-minded prick. Because of his habit, though, sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s being ironic or if he’s actually stating his true feelings. Prior to his arrival, I warned Mei of this, almost as a way of protecting her from getting agitated, and protecting Brad from immediate judgement as soon as something stupid came out of his mouth, because it would.

The meal went fine, but things started to get tense in the car when talking about pride. I hesitantly mentioned being not-straight. Brad immediately declared that I was lying. I thought about telling him about how he literally disrupted a girl-date to even be here, but I didn’t. I let Mei abandon the issue and we both stewed for a little bit until the topic changed. Finally we made it to the Barcade. At this point it became clear to me that Brad indeed had no birthday plans. None for himself, none planned by others. And this made me remember that Brad is the type of person who hates to admit it but wants to fall in with a “cool” crowd. Which meant taking people who might not care about him as much as he likes, and declaring them friends. Which is perhaps why nobody bothered to throw or attend a celebration for his birthday.

And this is where I start to feel a little bad. I try to get him to have a single drink with Mei and I, but he refuses. His 21st birthday, and he hijacks a girl-date to a Barcade, and chooses not to drink. Most of these games are single player, or the kind where you have to take turns if you want to play with someone else. We all meander to different games. As I struggle to finish my drink, Brad nowhere in sight, Mei and I meander back to the outdoor lounge where we take a few minutes to talk uninterrupted by arcade sounds. We both really like figure skating. Almost like clockwork, I get a text from Brad asking where we are, so I tell him where we are and he approaches. I can tell he feels like a 3rd wheel. And he is. I want to make him the center of my attention for the rest of the night but he is a really difficult, energy absorbing person to be around for me, and the sun has set. I have been up since 6:00am in the morning and put in a 10 hour workday before any of this was even planned. And so, I decide to be me. Not some fake friend who is gonna smile and pretend we’re super close when we aren’t. Not some person who feels the need to please everyone other than herself (a person I was until just 2 months ago when I went through an emotional breakup from a 3 year relationship). I decide to do what I wanna do. And what I wanna do is hang with Mei. Mei is easy to be around. Mei does not take tons of energy to be around. Do I still give Brad attention? Yes, because it’s his birthday, and I care enough about him as another human being to not totally neglect him.

This is when I realize I should not have brought him along. We use up the rest of our tokens, and we go to take care of our tabs before heading out. Because Brad didn’t buy a drink, he only had $5 on his tab. To use a card, you need at least $10 on your tab. None of us had cash to bail him out, so he was forced to purchase either a drink or a slice of pizza. He opted for the pizza. Though the Barcade was plastered in $10 minimum signs, he still seemed angry that this was a policy, or perhaps he was angry that we didn’t pay for him. I’m not sure which. Either way, he wasn’t happy.

He was quietly raging in the back seat the entire ride home while Mei and I chatted. Addressing it now wouldn’t do anything. We tried to steer our conversation in directions that he could join in, but he didn’t take the bait. It was only moments after dropping him off that I received “Hey that was really uncool of you to pretty much 3rd wheel me the entire time tonight. You made me feel very left out, and I don’t plan on hanging out with you anytime in the foreseeable future.” I didn’t know how to respond. I don’t think I care to respond? I blocked the number and unfriended on social media. I don’t know how to deal with this problem and frankly I don’t really care to. Maybe I’m a bad person. But here are my thoughts on the thing as a whole: - If he wanted a Birthday party, he could have had one. - If he wanted to hang out with just me, he could have not invited Mei along too. - If he wanted to ensure things went as he intended, he could have planned earlier than the day of - Nobody is entitled to a “Happy Birthday” - It’s up to you to make the most of a situation you are in. Did my boyfriend literally bail on my 21st birthday celebration to spend a night at another woman’s house? Yes. Did I still go do the celebration and take my father and my roommate instead, and have a decent time? Yes. - Should I have declined his offer to hang out? Yes. I should have apologized and said I already had plans tonight. - Should I have given him more attention tonight? Perhaps. - Should I apologize? I don’t think so. I think the key reason for this is that he is genuinely not a person I want in my life.

- I am more gay than I thought. And I’m happy to have Mei around to help me learn that, and process the things that happened tonight.

#personal #rant #friendship #birthday #21

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fandomsimaginationstation · 7 years

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I Don’t Put the L in Lame - Daddy!L x Mommy!Reader

Light Yagami ruined my life, so here’s a bit of dad!L since he never got the chance to be one. ;; I guess this in my opinion what I wish could’ve happened.

C/N = Child Name

C/N/2 = Child Name 2

C/N/3 = Child Name 3

The eldest of the three stirred his macaroni, nudging it gently as he groaned softly. More grunts and groans began to escape him as the other two giggled at the odd sight. His two siblings were given a sharp glare before he let out another grunt of agony, and Y/N finally looked up to see what the commotion was about.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Y/N asked her child, as she got up from the dinner table, quickly grabbing the plates that have been cleared off by hungry kiddos. She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear as she makes her rounds, before clearing her throat once she hears C/N murmur quietly a measly, “Yeah.”

A bit confused by the situation, she sets the dishes in the sink and yawns. She has to ensure that the children are bathed and put to bed by nine, as L had promised that he’d take them to the park tomorrow to do something fun. The only one who hadn’t seemed excited about it was C/N. Y/N believed she knew why, as it was kind of difficult to have L at home so little to help her raise the kids, but it was understandable. When C/N was little, he thought of his father as a superhero, but now a days it seemed that he considered him “uncool.”

Y/N worried for the effects it was having on him, but was there to support him. L hadn’t realized it yet as he was usually oblivious to feelings of his own family. Despite L not being there as much as you’d like, he always seemed to make time for his children, which only deepened your love for him. It seemed however, C/N didn’t realize that.

“Listen, C/N…” You started in, but were quickly interrupted by C/N/2 as the little girl tugged at your apron.

“Mommyyyyyy,” the child groaned, tugging more and more as you patted her head.

“What is it, C/N/2?” You gently rang your fingers through the little one’s locks, as C/N/3 set off to the bathroom to start the bath water “like a big boy”, which you were sure you needed to check to ensure it wasn’t too hot for him in a brief moment.

More pulling and leaning on your leg, from C/N/2, and C/N continued to give out those awful noises. He wanted your attention, and that was the difficult life of a parent. To have all sorts of children always needing attention from you all at once. “When’s daddy gonna be home?”

“Soon, honey, he’s just running a little beh-”

“You always say that! Ugh, mom, he’s so boring. All he does is sit at his office all day and comes home and does even more boring things with us. My friend’s dad is so much cooler, he’s a police officer and catches criminals all day!” Sneered C/N, his frustration finally reaching a breaking point. “Dad puts the L in lame.”

The slouching figure made an appearance in the doorway, dark hair cast over his eyes as his fingers were doven deep in his pockets, as C/N/2 shrieked and rushed over to him.

“Daddy!”

L quickly scooped the approaching girl, holding her in a weird fashion as the little girl giggled wildly, gently poking his nose. L’s eyes narrowed as he looked to his son, quipping, “I don’t put the L in Lame.”

Before anything else was said, C/N got up and rushed off, slamming the door to his bedroom door but as you were going to go discuss with him the meaning of his words, C/N/3 shouted from the bathroom to hurry up and help him with his bath. You let out a sigh, as you glanced at your gorgeous spouse briefly, giving him that of a pitiful smile as he toyed with your baby girl’s curls. She was awfully cute, and you knew most definitely she was a daddy’s girl. After all, most of your kids had always loved L deeply, as much as you did. C/N did too, but at this point in time you were sure he was just rebelling.

You rushed off to go help the little C/N/3, a bit preoccupied but hoped to help C/N later.

~ The Next Day ~

C/N burst in through the door, rushing to greet his dad as he shrieked, “I have the coolest dad in the world!”

You smiled cheekily, a bit confused at what he meant by that, but wholeheartedly agreed. How had his opinion changed so quickly?

“Why do you say that?” L beat you to asking the question, as he thumbed his ice cream sundae, licking off the excess from his fingertips, barely lifting his eyes to make eye contact with his son who was the spinning image of the pale man.

C/N pulled at the chair, before turning to you and softly asking, “Mom, can I have a sundae too?”

“..Sure, just this once though, you don’t need to end up like your father, it’s really not healthy.”

You lectured in your motherly way, preparing the bowl of ice cream as C/N began to tell his tale, “I was in history class and we got to learn about something that happened years ago. There was this man who killed criminals through a series of heart attacks without realizing he was now a criminal too. Then this man named L defeated that man. That man was Kira, and you are L! Is it true, dad, is it? That means you’re the best detective in the world! Please say it’s true!”

A bit stunned sat L, his licking of the sweet treat came to a halt as he leaned in overly close to his son, before quietly saying.

“I’m going to tell you something that I was waiting to tell you later, but you’ve grown up so quickly. But it is true. I’m L. You must never reveal that information for your own safety, for mine, your siblings, and your beautiful mother’s. If you keep it a secret, you can have this strawberry.”

He plopped the strawberry in his son’s hand, and you began to laugh a bit as you smiled.

Light Yagami may have had the intentions of making the world a better place by ridding the world of criminals and your precious husband L, but you believed that the world was already a better place in this moment. To watch the happiness on your son’s face and the way L loved him. This was a better place with no punishment necessary.

#l lawliet #l lawliet dn #death note #death note scenarios #l x reader #l lawliet x reader #daddy!L x mommy!reader #dad!L #dad l headcanons #dead l scenario #scenario #cute #fluff #fluff fanfiction

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taytayize123 · 7 years

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Lost Country Heart

Lost Country Heart “Another vice, another call, another bed I shouldn't have crawled out of” Living in a small town has it’s perks, but it can also be very lonely. In my case, I don’t blend in with what's normal, meaning that people think there’s got to be something wrong with me when I’ve always been a little lost in life. My name’s Taylor, and I live in Owensboro, Kentucky. I’m a southern girl through and through, it runs deep in my blood. I don't have blonde hair, tanned legs, or a cute, little, petite frame, meaning I don't look like the girl country singers describe in their songs. When I look in the mirror, I see long, chocolate brown hair that develops natural blonde highlights in the summer, ever changing blue eyes that range from an icy clear blue, or a darker midnight blue, and pale pink lips that somehow always end up in a pout that curves into a smile. Growing up hasn’t always been easy for me. I have gone through a lot of emotional heartache that a child, or young adult, shouldn’t have to go through. For the longest time, I wondered if anyone cared about how their actions affected me. In my family, I have a wonderful mother who is one of my idols because she always taught me that no matter what, I need to use my voice and follow my dreams whatever they may entail. My dad is a very hardworking man: a real “keep working hard and you will receive great things in life” type of guy. He lives for his family and wife, which is something I have always admired since I was a little girl. I also have an older sister named Keala that’s eight years older than me. She’s strong willed, yet has a very caring heart. I have a backbone and I'm not scared of standing up to anyone because of that woman. I thank her for that every single day. When I was eleven, I really began to doubt I was good enough. I found out my sister was pregnant by her college boyfriend. It shocked me, because I knew the dreams she had of going to fashion design school. Sadly, these dreams were put on hold. Having to adjust to not being the “baby” in the family and everyone fawning over the new “bundle of joy” made me feel so insignificant, lonely, and uncared for. Six months after Keala had my nephew, my grandfather died from colon cancer. It ended up throwing me into this overwhelming sadness that felt like I was being swallowed up by a dark force that I couldn’t escape from. My saving grace was music; all different kinds ranging from R&B soul stuff to Rock n Roll and Country. I began singing at the age of fourteen in my school’s choir. For my audition,I choose to sing At Last by Etta James. I planted my feet like a tree trunk, gripped the microphone with my left hand so tight my knuckles turned white, and began singing with my eyes shut tightly. Once I finished, I opened my eyes to see my whole choir class cheering and clapping for me. Ever since, I just couldn’t stop. I remember when my teacher told me that I needed to sing and let my voice be heard. I decided that it wasn’t a choice: I had to let it out. When I started High School, I was so uncool and I had an awkward phase. I was sure no guy would ever notice me, and I was right up until my Sophomore year. I came back from summer vacation a totally different person. I had lost a little weight, learned how to dress properly, and actually did my hair and makeup. I finally had developed some major confidence, which is how I met my first boyfriend. His name was Sawyer and he was the quarterback of the football team. He was an all-American boy: he loved football, going muddin (driving big trucks through the mud), and sipping on a ice cold Bud Light. Seven months of dating floats by, when I found out he had been “hooking up” with another girl. I was beyond pissed. I jogged to my car so I didn’t cry at school. On my way to the car, I passed a sign that read; “End Of The Year Talent Show May 25th!”. Instead of crying about Sawyer, I decided to have a little fun. In turn, I entered the show. The night of the show came and everyone in school showed up, including my family, my friends, and, of course, Sawyer. I peeked behind the curtain, feeling someone tap on my shoulder, telling me it’s time for me to go on. I walked on stage, grabbed the mic stand as the music starts. “Right now, he’s probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp, Right now he’s ordering her some fruity little drink because she can’t shoot a whiskey, standing up behind her showing her how to shoot a combo.” Oh yes, I sang Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood to a full auditorium of people, including that cheating asshole of a boy. He then he proceeded to fast walk out of the place by the time I sang the last note. I showed him not to mess with me every again! After graduating, I choose to move out to Nashville to try my luck at becoming a professional singer. I used all the money I saved up working at this little diner in town. I got in my car and started the drive to my new home state, hoping that I could actually make a name for myself. When I got there, I got myself a nice little apartment right next to the bars and clubs were where I had gigs around town almost every night. I got a job at a place called Honky Tonk Central. It was a huge, loud, and boisterous club that’s known for great live music. I worked as a bartender, until, one night, a nice looking gentleman walked over to the bar where I was pouring drinks. He noticed I happened to be singing along to She Talks To Angels by The Black Crowes ,which spilled through the big speakers above the bar. The man approached me, saying, “Hey, I heard you singing. I like your voice a lot, would you be interested in an opening slot on Friday night at the Bluebird Cafe?” I couldn’t believe what this man was saying. I was shocked, but beyond excited for this opportunity. The whole rest of the week, I was beyond nervous, trying to figure out what my set list was gonna look like, what outfit I’d wear, and praying to every musical god I have ever looked up to in life that this showcase was going to be a hit. Friday night came before I knew it. I showed up to the Bluebird, wearing a light-wash pair of skinny jeans, a white cotton 70’s inspired blouse, and a pair of cowboy boots. I also had my lucky diamond studs that were given to me by my grandmother just before she passed away. I knew she was there with me in spirit. I got up on stage, beginning my set for the night. I had chosen songs I personally like to listen to. They included Vice by Miranda Lambert, I’d Rather Go Blind by Etta James, Hard To Handle by The Black Crowes, and, to end my set, Piece Of My Heart by Janis Joplin. The last few lines of Piece Of My Heart flowed out of my mouth and the place enraptured into fits of cheering. I even received a standing ovation. I felt like I had won the lottery because all different kinds of greats in music have played at the Bluebird Cafe, and I had just played there too. I decided to go get a drink afterwards. While I sat down on the stool, the guitar player of the house band sat next to me, striking up a conversation. His name was Mason, he had chestnut brown hair and it wasn’t short or long but just enough to run your fingers through. He also had fluorescent green eyes, paired with a sweet smile. I ordered us two Bourbons on the rocks as we chatted about our musical influences, where we grew up, and how important the art of songwriting really is in this decade. One two many bourbons and whiskey shots later, we stumbled out of the club, arms latched onto each other. Mason was leading us to his place, which happened to be just down the street and around the corner. Once, we got there, he pushed me up against the wall as our lips interlocked together, my hands running through his soft hair as his hands ran down my waist to my butt, giving it a squeeze. I giggled, involuntarily breaking our kiss. I suggest we go to the bedroom. He takes my hand, walking me to his room, telling me to lay on the bed. I sit, kicking off my boots as he does the same. I lay down on the bed as I watched him begin to light candles and walk over to the record player. He picks out a record, placing the needle down. I smile when I hear the words of the song Miss You, by The Rolling Stones. This man was sure making the mood perfect. Crawling into bed, he quickly met my lips, beginning to make out. I pulled away, letting him remove my blouse as I took his white button down off, revealing his toned abs. Smiling, I watched his eyes widen as he noticed my ample cleavage displayed before him, earning a sexy smirk from him. He then takes off his jeans showing off a nicely sized package, causing my mouth to curve into an ‘o’ shape, persuading me to wiggle out of my jeans. I remove my bra, freeing my breasts. Mason removes his boxer briefs, hooking his thumbs into my panties to slowly pull them down. We each spend some time pleasuring each other in many different ways, but the moment that he pushed himself inside me had me gasping for air. Moans slipped through both of our mouths, some of which were his name as well as profanities. I couldn’t believe that this man was making me feel this good. We fell asleep after making love for a few hours, listening to each others heartbeats becoming one cohesive beat. I wake up from sunlight that’s twinkling through his curtains, turning to my right to see this beautiful man sleeping next to me. His tanned skin lying upon my pale skin was a sight I never wanted to forget. I leaned off my side of the bed to reach into my bag for my phone, noticing I have a missed call from the guy who gave me the opening slot at the Bluebird Cafe. While I quietly tip toed into the bathroom, I called him back. He explains that the country musician, Frankie Ballard, needs an opening artist for his tour and he thinks I’d be perfect match for the gig. I accepted, learning that I leave tonight at 6pm. I walk back into the bedroom, picking up my things and writing a note on the pillow explaining everything, hoping he understood that I had to take this job. I left to go home to pack for the tour, and as 6pm rolls around, I board Frankie’s bus, wishing that I get a call from Mason. What a night!

#original content

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