#so i didnt mention it in the caption | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maplesyrupsainz · 5 months

Text

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙no saving u | LS2˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: logan sargeant x piastri!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, break up, brother's best friend/childhood friends to lovers

warnings: trigger warning many max verstappen mentions unfortunately /j

summary: in which they are pulled together following a particularly messy crash during the last race of the season and an even messier break up

a/n: i got this plot as a request and i love it ahhh i linked the request below!!! hope u guys enjoy i lowkey luv writing logan fanfic especially when max loses something 😆

request!!!: max is getting too cocky and dangerous on the track and he knows you disagree with his antics which causes tension between you, he continues his dangerous streak even though he’s just had the pit lane rules changed for abu dhabi and ends up crashing into logan during fp2, you’ve had enough of max putting himself and others in danger whilst he’s on an ego trip and rush to check on logan after he’s been taken safely from his car and end up going to the hospital with him (you’re childhood friends because he did karting and f3 with your brother), you leave max that night and end up spending more time with logan as he recovers, the summer is spent exploring your new relationship and you go public when you’re spotted in his paddock in 2024, max is humiliated beaten by the worst driver on the grid in his opinion, he’s finally humbled, you could also maybe have logan doing better as he’s had an opportunity to be involved with the cars development, and he even gets a couple podiums in his sophomore year :)

my masterlist

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 47,038 others

yourusername life lately:)

view all 2,012 comments

maxverstappen1 the true artwork is you!

oscarpiastri cringeee

danielricciardo he's trying

yourusername max verstappen most bullied f1 driver on the grid

logansargeant assuming we will see you in the williams garage in abu dhabi

maxverstappen1 no!

alex_albon it's our turn

oscarpiastri nope it's our turn

yourusername shame it's none of you lot's turn. you will see me in mercedes perhaps

lewishamilton i always win

georgerussell63 😊

user1 y/n x f1 2023 grid interactions are my absolute favourite

twitter ->

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted stories

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 10,384 others

maxverstappen1 wont you swing by?

yourusername yes of course hehe i will come see you before free practice 🧡

alex_albon u didnt cheat but ur still a traitor

yourusername 🐱

twitter ->

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 12,321 others

maxverstappen1 you are ignoring me

yourusername i just dont want to talk right now

maxverstappen1 why? you didnt even see if i was okay

yourusername i knew you were okay

yourusername im just very upset and angry it wouldn't be productive to see you right now

maxverstappen1 you are not coming back to the hotel?

yourusername no so dont wait up, i'll see you tomorrow

maxverstappen1 okay i am sorry y/n

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, and 64,734 others

yourusername im only welcome in one garage now

view all 3,294 comments

logansargeant this is literally false information

lilymhe she knows where she should be

landonorris im so lucky i get to see y/n before every race now

oscarpiastri you literally told her she stinks like 5 min ago

yourusername oh great thanks maybe im not welcome anywhere

mclaren we love you y/n

liked by yourusername

mercedesamgf1 you know where to find us y/n

liked by yourusername

user11 the caption...... is this a break up confirmation bc she isnt welcome at rb garage anymore

user12 i love how all the teams fight over her lol

f1wagupdates

liked by yourusername, user10, and 13,384 others

f1wagupdates we are gathered here today to mourn the alleged death of f1 couple max verstappen and our favourite aussie y/n piastri. please leave your respects below 🙏 we are celebrating with some of our favourite maxy/n moments!

tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1

view all 3,283 comments

user13 wag death 🙏

liked by yourusername

user14 one of my favourite couples😢

user15 dont cry coz it's over.....

user16 this has rattled me

user17 the caption CELEBRATING? Hahahah

f1wagupdates whoops freudian slip

user18 😭 i will never know peace

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by lilymhe, carmenmmundt, and 8,743 others

carmenmmundt dodged a bullet 100%

yourusername then why does it feel like i got hit anyway 😐

carmenmmundt you are so strong y/n/n

yourusername somehow it's worse because he would have me back if i asked lol

carmenmmundt omg he has no idea what he lost .. you are going to be thriving whilst he is flopping by next season i promise

yourusername i hope ur right 😀

logansargeant

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 24,924 others

logansargeant vacation time 🏝️

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri

view all 4,283 comments

yourusername vacay vacay

oscarpiastri baecay baecay

yourusername ur so weird

oscarpiastri noo hahahh ..

user19 "baecay" what does that mean 🤔

user20 not oscar shipping his best friend & sister together 💀

user21 love seeing y/n hanging out with everyone now instead of being hidden away in max's dungeon

yourusername DUNGEON i just shrieked

user22 😀😀😀 im fine

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 284,929 others

danielricciardo woohoo woohoo woohoo

tagged: yourusername, lilymhe, landonorris, alex_albon, oscarpiastri

view all 13,294 comments

user23 omg more y/n x grid content

yourusername yoohoo

danielricciardo hi y/n

yourusername hey 😄

lilymhe my fav ppl

landonorris should we all give up our seats and hang out 24/7 instead

alex_albon no

danielricciardo no

oscarpiastri no

yourusername yea yay!

lilymhe yes wahoo

user24 i wish i was their friend

user25 max verstappen found dead

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 454,183 others

charles_leclerc what we've been up to

view all 17,064 comments

user26 y/n & charles taking a flight together🥹

user27 omg she is everywhere loll

yourusername exposing my weird airline meal

charles_leclerc still dont know what it was

oscarpiastri lol flying with y/n/n is an experience

user28 who is y/n dating im confused ??

user29 no one her & max just broke up but she's oscar's sister so she's always been friends with a lot of the grid

alexandrasaintmleux i can't believe u saw y/n without me

yourusername 😭 i miss you

alexandrasaintmleux get on a plane now

yourusername i genuinely will

charles_leclerc dont steal my gf

twitter ->

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by lilymhe, carmenmmundt, and 14,204 others

lilymhe oh hello

yourusername 👀

carmenmmundt excuse meee mrs

yourusername perhaps you were right

carmenmmundt not surprised

logansargeant

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername, and 27,924 others

logansargeant ...where should we go next?

view all 4,193 comments

user33 looks like y/n .. anyone else?

user34 that is deffo y/n

user35 why would we assume y/n is dating logan everyone has been posting them hanging out with her lately

danielricciardo go to japan

liked by logansargeant

user36 aww daniel giving travel advice

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, and 18,204 others

yourusername new favourite place

tagged: logansargeant

view all 6,283 comments

user37 omg not them going to japan because daniel told them to

user38 i rly think logan & y/n are an item

user39 aww she is having so much fun since the breakup

danielricciardo did not expect u guys to actually go where i said

yourusername we were feeling crazyy & impulsive

oscarpiastri come home im bored

yourusername make some friends

oscarpiastri why make friends when i have u

user40 lol i love their sibling relationship

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 4,294 others

carmenmmundt omg this is giving hard launch

yourusername 😭 this is special circumstances

logansargeant couldn't have done it without you

twitter ->

instagram—

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, carmenmmundt, and 17,294 others

yourusername bahrain bahrain p.s he was tired after getting p3

tagged: logansargeant

view all 7,294 comments

oscarpiastri just got the strongest urge to bully you for this post

yourusername u hate to see a girl win!! ur a misogynist or something

landonorris u didnt win anything y/n

logansargeant she won my heart actually

oscarpiastri omg.... lose my number.

yourusername lose ur seat!!! ur a b word

user44 not them arguing over literally nothing

mclaren we're on your side, y/n

yourusername i will always be a mclaren girl!

user45 lol y/n x grid interactions own my heart

user46 i love her relationship with mclaren in general

twitter ->

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instagram ->

logansargeant

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 32,294 others

logansargeant me and my gf in murica

tagged: yourusername

view all 11,284 comments

yourusername 🦅

oscarpiastri you hate america

yourusername no need to mention that rn

logansargeant ???

lilymhe never been so happy

liked by yourusername, logansargeant

carmenmmundt i told you so, y/n

yourusername you did :)

logansargeant dont know what you told her but thanks 👍

user48 AHHHH i love y/n

logansargeant you and me both

yourusername WHAT?

oscarpiastri that's my sister bro

user48 omg what did i start

alex_albon oh shit

logansargeant urmmmm

yourusername i love you too 😜

carmenmmundt 🥰🥰

THE END 🤍

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 smau #f1 x reader #smau #daniel ricciardo #alex albon #lando norris #charles leclerc #logan sargeant #ls2 #max verstappen #mv1 #mv1 x reader #mv1 imagine #maddie's smau

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privitivium · 3 months

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thinking about a closet-perverted feminine man whos very into leopard print, pink w/ chunky highlights who has the hots for you so badly in a way he's all confident around others but around you he's shy and awkward hngnghgh

i plan to actually make fics/oneshots with better punctuation overall instead of these short little ficlets,,,, but most of the time i be drained for no apparent reason. Wtfrick. i might rewrite this idea soon. tis rushed and sloppy, fast paced,, wrote in mostly one sitting,,, horrayy!!

;; masturbation,, he jerks you off. Is a creep

Sampson.. he is not one to care for compliments from strangers nor friends, but still immensely appreciated the gesture.. a small, 'aw thaaanks!' in gratitude to those mentioned, but when you compliment him - it doesn't compare to the others, even if it is merely as simple as commenting on how cool his belly-button piercing isㅡ'uaah... thank you,,,' he would murmur more earnestly, his voice growing higher in pitch - an unconscious quirk he does when speaking to you,,,

he thinks coming off as more feminine overall would appeal to you - unaware of your sexual orientation despite asking around.. no one really cared to ask you and you didn't really care to tell people.. you didnt date anyone on campus or off campus, no long distance or anything! What was Sampson supposed to do with that information??? Was he supposed to assume you were a virgin or just not interested in anyone??? well,, rest assured, he's gonna fucking find out, mhm!!

Sampson's a perverted guy, alright? He can admit that. Warm tan and toned body completely bare and sprawled out on top of his sheets, haphazardly stroking along his length of his single apartment.. pink tip beading the pearlescent thickness he longs to imagine as yours, and he lathers his palm - mixing it with the fucking lotion that was apart of his "jerking off routine". stroking along his length at a slow pace, wanting to drag this out.. his lamp at a low tone, barely lighting up the room but just enough to see the naked bodies strung out along the magazine pages. he was just trying to find someone that looked like you,, wait ,, how could he be so stupid??

he pulls his sticky hand away from his cock lazily, tossing the magazine to the ground and hurriedly rushes for his phone - bringing up your social media.. you don't post alot, much to his distaste, but you still have pictures of you.. all by yourself, usually, much to his merriment!!! ending the session with a burst of hot, seed all over his hand and blanket, having his phone-holding hand up to his face like a little freak, merely admiring your form! you post yourself at the gym - posing for fellow gym bros and something else about receiving criticism in the caption.. not that he cared to read it during the moment, more focused on busting over himself.. ahem.

The next day, uneventful. No classes besides in the late afternoon, caught up with everything.. nothing to do.. so he decides to do what he usually does. Stalk his gallery full of pictures of you. Various taken with consent, some without.. merely admiring, while sipping on an iced coffee with pink glossy lips.. he styles himself as every other day to impress you… he found that lavender colors are more appealing to you - which he was currently dressed in accompanied with low-rise skinny jeans that were practically compressing his genitals into his body.. his “chunky” highlighted hair parted to the side and tucked behind his ears and thoroughly straightened.. caught up in admiring himself, he was disturbed by the message from a friend.. inviting him out. What else did he have going on? besides admiring your pictures… it couldn't hurt, sampson supposed begrudgingly..

Imagine his excitement, when catching sight of you with your shared group of friends at the meetup spot!! Trying to hide his excitement and appear neutral as he neared the restaurant, and spotting a chair open next to you,, hurriedly, ahem, slowly, he makes his way toward the table full of friends and companions, indulging in meaningless conversation and questions about what to do for the day.. the others, a duo, complaining about having a day full of tutoring at theㅡ he didn't bother listening after that, more caught up in what you were adding to the conversation..

“Oh, yeah! If you don't have anything going on right now, why not come back with me?” You offer a half-grin that looked more like a half-smirk that made his heart tremble - friends knowingly glancing at each other and whispering incoherently with one another across the table. “Of course..!! I would love to...” Sampson grinned broadly, glossy lips stretched into a pretty smile,,

he was so excited,, being invited over by his crush - his future lover?? he could practically feel the swell of arousal building up underneath his low-rise jeans.. curse him and his skinny jeans! damn!

i mean, being brought to ur shared house where all ur housemates can promptly ogle him as he walked by, definitely made his heart tremble.. practically vibrating in excitement knowing that you were the one holding his hand and leading him up the staires carefully rather than anyone else,, it felt surreal,, leading him up to ur room as if you were leading him up the stairs to fuck after a night of drinking,,. he really needs to stop thinking like this. he has nothing to cover his future boner with+!!!

you showcase the hall - odd pictures and most certainly random trinkets decorating the interior and shelves... his heartbeat speeding up to a disgustingly uncomfortable pace, that still felt damn good, as you neared your bedroom at the end of the hall.

immediately began admiring your room, absolutely marveling. like woah,, this is the place where you jerk off?? and he then spends a moment imagining where and how you do it,, on the bed,, on the chair,, at the window,, an audible grunt leaves his lips as he shivers, shaking himself free of the thoughts in an attempts not to get a boner which you obviously take notice; innocently thinking the absolute innocent annoyingly enough, "oh, hey.." you frowned, eyes raking over sampson's figure briefly before stepping toward him, "are you cold?? here, have a blanket, man!" you grinned broadly, laughing softly as you reached over him; offering one of the throw blankets that were folded at the end of your bed..

“Thank you..!” He shivers, holding the blanket around his body akin to a tent,, hugging himself. “You're so thoughtful..” receiving a nod and a pat on the shoulder, before abruptly pulling away at the sound of a ding coming from your cellular device,,

Checking your phone and - “I'll be back real quick!..” you tell him, leaving the room and closing the door behind you,, immediately, he takes the time to snoop - reaching for under the bed. It's where he hides his stash, so why not look there first? And, how predictable.. a box, he pulls from underneath the bed and looks through its’ contents - your thundering footsteps nearing - and he sees that it's all,, pornography,, various polaroids of hardened dicks, yours, he recognizes funnily enough??

“What are you doing -??” Your worried voice breaks his focus, and how stupid of him,, “that's.. not cool..” you clear your throat while staring down, the door closed behind you, hurt and obviously embarrassed as you catch sight of what exactly is in his handsㅡprivate stuff, bro!!

“W-Wai-t!” His voice breaks, dropping the pictures carelessly as he springs up and makes his way toward you - trembling with a pretty ,, obvious bulge pressing against the fabric of his jeans. "j-just watch me.. just watch me. Please." Sampson breathes, hand ghosting over your jaw before tugging you gently toward your messy bed. Voice low and amber eyes half-lidded as he presses against your body, on top of you and - his knee finding its’ way in between your legs and lewdly compressing against your clothed soft cock.. the mere feeling of it sending waves of excitement through his smaller, stronger frame., he squirms against you, fiddling with your shirt but not making any move to pull it off.,,

“okay..! okay, no worries.. it-it's okay..” you choke out, concern washing over your lackadaisical expression and worry taking hold of your bold tone, observing sampson and fidgeting against him to get your crotch away when his knee presses against your dick - clothed or not.. you're sure he felt up the shape of your muscle.. your heart thumps against your chest and you're sure he feels that too-!! “I-I'll watch you do whatever..” You swallow thickly, a little unsure - remembering your friends downstairs.. the lock on the door..

Sampson's eyes, pupils blown wide as if he were on drugs as he stares up at you - being pressed against you sends butterflies through his belly, and he worries briefly about throwing up on you,, “i like you,, i like you so much..” he breathes out - jaw clenching shut as his lips thin, it was a mere slip of the tongue-!

“woah.. you like me??” Your eyes widen in pleasant surprise, a smile of disbelief slipping onto his lips, immediately forgetting what exactly you caught him doing - smile stretching wide as you place your hand along his shoulder, feeling the faux lavender underneath, certainly not minding being pressed against your bedroom wall by such a pretty man who was staring up at you with doe-like eyes..,,. “No way you like me..”

“ㅡGod, yes , I fucking like you.. i love you.. i- i have a crush on you, yes.” He corrects, not wanting to scare you off so suddenly - not wanting to ruin whatever the fuck was happening - and definitely not wanting to move away, unwilling to showcase his erection,, you probably felt it though.. and yet, you're not moving away, huh??? must be Sampson's lucky day.. “.. you wouldn't mind if i did,, this?” He punctuates his words with action, pursing his lips as he places his cupped hand along your groin - to which you jolt in surprise and merely staring at his pretty face, not yet moving - sampson's fingers experimentally worming around and finding the soft length of your cock over your comfortable pants.. “do you?” his breath hitches - face burning uncomfortably as he stares up at you, wide eyed as if shocked that he'd ever get so far..

Choking out a soft, “no..” ultimately unable to look him in the eye as you feel the swell of heat building up from Sampson's stimulation,,

“Fucking.. gorgeous.. so beautiful.” He would shudder out, voice breaking while his spit-covered hand wrapped around the base of your half-hard cock - unable to keep himself away from you - wondering what it'd feel like inside him ,, and he finds himself gripping your cock and squeezing at the tip, wanting to be as close as possible while he slowly jerks you off, humming in contentment while sitting on your lap with his nose buried in your neck and inhaling your scent - ever so slightly rocking his hips against your thigh. Never did he think that the day after masturbating, he'd be the one jerking you off and getting himself off on your thigh,,

“i'll give you some material to masturbate to so you won't have to use those magazines..” he'd tease breathlessly, somehow willing himself to voice his thoughts,, hrrmm

#ocs =͟͟͞͞★#x male reader #dom male reader #top male reader #x top male reader #feminine male character #dom male character #male reader

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verycharismaticdragon · 7 months

Text

Okay, I promised a writeup of Luo Binghe voter fraud meme, and as Luo Binghe is currently in the finals of the poll this happened on, I figure now's a good time.

So! It all started when Luo Binghe, our beloved half-demon child, was submitted to @/hybrid-battle tournament - or rather, as it was called at the time, @half-being-battle. He won his first poll easily enough, but round 2 was a close battle where he and his opponent, Shantae from eponymous game, took the lead from one another a few times.

In the last ~12 hours, Binghe was losing slightly after a popular blog rb'd the poll with a call to vote for Shantae. However, SVSSS fandom caught this in time and passed the poll around some more. The poll ended with Luo Binghe winning with 51% of votes - or, as simple calculation will reveal, 14 votes lead.

We breathed out a collective sigh of relief, but too soon - as half a day later, someone sent this ask:

(x)

Initially the pollrunner wasn't intending to do anything about it, but then someone suggested a teamup option, and the poll for the option was made (x). It was rb'd by some SVSSS fans with the general sentiment of 'free our boy he did nothing wrong', but didn't gain real traction until:

@gaywarcriminals reblogged it with a small rant in Binghe's defense

@piosplayhouse rb'd said rant with addition of the image from vol.3 cover, of Shen Qingqiu holding Luo Binghe's hand, edited to look like SQQ is the one saying the text above.

This version of the post was circulated in fandom overnight, leading to 'Luo Binghe moves on alone' option winning by a large margin - and, ofc, to the birth of "Luo Binghe voter fraud" meme.

Though aside from this particular post being funny, there was another factor contributing to the meme catching on: how damn in-character it all was. The following sentiments were all repeated more than once in the post's notes:

Luo Binghe getting accused of crimes he didn't commit? Omg just like in canon!

Shen Yuan would absolutely buy bots to get his most beloved blorbo to win an internet poll.

It's just Luo Binghe's protagonist halo!

All of which made the situation fucking hilarious.

Then, the next day, tumblr user verycharismaticdragon (whoever they might be 😉) made some fanart about it, which possibly aided the spread of the meme too.

Also, SVSSS fandom surprised the mod with our chillness 😅

(x)

Since then, Binghe has been going strong in that poll - and now, he's in the finals! So make sure to vote for him; as we all know now, the real voter fraud is the friends we made along the way. And I do recommend checking Luo Binghe's tag on the poll for some fun propaganda we've been making, including a family tree by Pio and some more art by yours truly <3

But wait! There was also another layer to the voter fraud iceberg. The tl;dr:

At about the same time Luo Binghe vs Shantae ended, Hua Cheng was losing in round 1 of @/the-ghost-bracket, with something like 39% of votes to his name. In a desperate move, I linked his poll under my bingqiu voter fraud art, which gave him a boost to get close to a tie, but didnt flip the poll. The next day, I was explaining the LBH voter fraud meme to my friends, and mentioned Hua Cheng's poll too - which was when inspiration struck me, resulting in...

this post. [ID: art of Xie Lian with a wooden board which reads "Puqi shrine accepting donations in the form of votes for Hua Cheng in the ghost bracket", captioned "please help dianxia, he doesn't have the money for voter fraud"] Which gave the poll enough visibility for Hua Cheng to win with over 62% of votes in the end. (The link in the post is currently changed to round 2 poll, which HC was also initially losing. Srsly besties we gotta follow the tourneys to get our babygirls to win!)

So: LBH voter fraud meme had even helped little bro Huahua out.

And thats about it! Since then, the scum villain fandom has been joking about voter fraud on all of our polls 😂

(Aaaand the last reminder to vote Bingbing in the finals. His opponent has been gaining lately and I think we shouldn't leave it to the protagonist halo this time.)

#if i missed some important Moment lmk #luo binghe #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain's self-saving system

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

Note

hi hi!! could i get cricket crew (those a-okay with xreaders) with a reader who’s like a pro gamer, maybe reader is also a streamer? somethin along the lines of that pretty please 🦕

ahhh yes of course!! I recognize you mwahahha, lmk if you'd like to be addressed as 🦕 anon btw bc I can't tell if you used it in a silly way like how I use 🛒🛒🛒 somwtimes or as a way to address yourself LMAO no worries tho 🫶🫶🫶

HANDSOME BROS ; pro gamer era

includes ; ranboo, tommyinnit, tubbo & badlinu

warnings ; language, mention of Dream

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he's been your biggest fan since day one, literally

he just so happened to be one of the first couple viewers you pulled while you began speedrunning minecraft

eventually you guys became friends and stuff

he literally watched your speedruns go from an hour and a half to half an hour so quickly

and over that time he's been boosting your stuff and everything

you ofc make other content and collab w other streamers, mostly Tommy and his friends

one time, you get a speedrun down to 25:03, your best so far and he's in a vc w you with your stream pulled up

literally screams when he sees the ender dragon explode into xp

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YOU GOT DOWN TO 25 MINUTES, THAT WAS SO GOOD, OH MY GOD, Y/N/N!"

you sit there like "omg I just did that that's my best record ever"

afterwards you play roblox for a bit with him (meep city) and throw a party to celebrate

you meet a bunch of viewers/chatters/fans as well bc you publicized yours and Tommy's usernames so they could join your server

"You're a pro now, y/n! even better than Dream!"

if he was right next to you rn, he'd be giving you the biggest kiss in the whole world

you'd been spending so, so long to get below a half hour or so and even just 5 minutes below that made you so ecstatic, same with him lmao

he literally makes 40 tweets about it and posts about it on his Instagram story

he also doordashes you some fast food + like three large waters

he's literally your biggest fan ❤️❤️❤️

when I tell you he's so fucking sweet to you

he's fully aware you're very serious with your video games and you try to be the best you possibly can

like he'll come over while you're training for a valorant competition with foolish & punz and just hang out behind you and watch

he'll go to snapchat and snap aimsey a pic of u grinding on valorant with the caption "look who's grinding valorant again"

star will respond with a "Jesus Christ how many hours do they have on there??"

he'll reply with a video of him asking

"how many hours do you have on valorant? like, all time"

you didnt even hesitate or think before you replied with "253"

"HOLY SHIT DONT YOU THINK YOURE GOOD ENOUGH?"

"amount of hours doesn't equal skill, tommy"

TUBBO

you're like a pro bedwars player istg

like techno and purpled type pro

he plays with you sometimes but he mostly cheers you on

the 18 in a row win streak?? holy shit that was a celebration in itself

he was in your chat spamming "HOLY SHAUT Y/N" "OMG PLS PPSK PLS PLS GRWT TO 19" "HOYKEHIT"

he can't even type he's so excited for you

you end up losing that streak to an adrenaline rushed bad move

next time you won't rush yellow 💀

months later, once you got to a 19 streak he was actually on vc with you and started getting your chat to become your cheerleaders

literally had 45000 cheerleaders for a bedwars streak + him who made a whole chant????

when you actually won the 19th you just freaked the fuck out

you couldn't even bare trying to get to 20 because you were shaking so much and you'd end up fucking up

you literally show your stream your shaking legs and hands

the entirety of your chair was soaked in stress sweat from your thighs 💀💀💀

he's seriously your biggest fan

everytime you do something relatively pro-gamer-esque he makes at least 5 tweets, a YouTube community post, and a post on his insta for ppl to go watch it and how awesome you are

he makes complications of your best bedwars moments on an alt YouTube account too LMAO

he did a lot of math but rounded up that you had 150 or so hours of bedwars streamed, plus the hours of grinding skill you'd done off camera

"only 150??"

dude even chat is somehow surprised

makes you a whole poster and brings it to your house to celebrate your 19 win streak its so cute

it's made a feature on every stream since because it's up on the wall right behind you and in perfect view for everyone to see 🫶

RANBOO

good god they're actually worried something is wrong with you

no way super Mario odyssey can be so fun to you

speedruns went from maybe 2 hours down to 58ish mins or so in just a couple months

you were friends prior, but you got back into smo and got addicted with trying glitches and bugs you knew about

once you reached like 58:05, (about 13th on the leaderboard) you quit

good lord there was no getting better lmao

then came the challenge to get all the moons and speedrunning the dark side & darker side of the moon

they got on a vc with you while you were collecting moons so you could deal w a lot of distraction, and asked you to check the hours time

the way this shit said 834 hours.

the amount of joke-yelling and "I'm not mad just disappointed" convo came out of that

"It's not my fault the game is fun!"

"that's more than a year! that's nearly two straight years!"

"I've been playing it since release in my defense. I probably grinded up half of that within the past year or two though to be honest"

never the less, they always cheer you on and always have to boost your content

for the leaderboards, you're around 70th place on the dark side, about two hours, and for the darker side, around 80th, so about 3 and a half hours

they literallt watched you do 10+ hour streams and got on vc to voice concerns of burnout or scoliosis

"I'm fine! shit! damnit!"

"Chat please tell them to go sleep, this is wild. go play Mario kart with Bill at least"

"Yeah, come play Mario Kart with me!"

"where the fuck did you come from, I didn't even hear you join???"

"I've been here for half an hour!?"

BADLINU

you're freakishly amazing at building in the Sims 4

like dude you're an idol in the Sims community it's so weird

you build like those humongous mansions and find new furniture glitches and new designs and share them and stuff

dude don't even get me started on your sims

most the time you make your friends but they're never inaccurate

you can dedicate a five hour stream just making the fucking characters dude

he'll sit next to you so you can properly make his face and he'll get all tingly in his head as he watches

when you're making a giant new build he'll tweet about it like 4 times and leave a link to your stream LMAO

"guys go watch y/ns stream they have polls set so you guys can actually decide on design choices"

he's actually your biggest fan omg

he'll be in your chat like "omg hi y/n"

"Hey Freddie!"

joins a vc with you and starts absolutely bombarding you with compliments

dude can't go one stream without taking 372882 screenshots of you

"Dude how do you have motivation for this?"

"It's fun! if I can't be a designer in real life then I'll be one in the digital world motherfucker"

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt oneshot #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #tubbo x reader #cricket crew #cricket crew x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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xclowniex · 2 months

Note

I saw you posted about the song Harbu Darbu. Why is Dua Lipa Bella hadid and Mia Khalifa mentioned in it? Like it seems wild to have beef with am ex porn star?

So I'm going to go into what each celeb did to be antisemitic, what the lyrics about them mean in English and why its not about them being Palestinian, arab or pro Palestine.

On the surface it does seem weird to have beef with an ex porn star however it's less so beef and moreso calling out problematic celebrities.

All of the celebs mentioned have either participated in antisemitism or supported Hamas/oct 7th. It's not just because they're Palestinian (Bella Hadid) or arab (Mia Khalifa) or dated a Palestinian (Dua Lipa).

Bella Hadid has spread blood libel. Her and Gigi have been called out many times over the years for their antisemitism. You can only accidentally be antisemitic so many times before it goes from "whoopsie didnt realize this was antisemitic" to "I'm hiding my antisemitism as an accident and not knowing better even though I do know better and hate jews"

Dua Lipa has claimed that what Israel is doing is ethnic cleansing which is false and rooted in blood libel. She has also shared a post on her Instagram in the past which states that Israeli jews are fake jews.

Mia Khalifa has tweeted "Can someone please tell the freedom fighters in Palestine to flip their phones and film horizontal." And she also posted a photo of hamasniks in a ute on their way to attack jews with the caption "Renaissance painting".

She posted a photo of herself drinking wine that was made in Reims in France when Nazis controlled Reims and had the caption "my wine is older than your apartheid 'state'". So you know, she was boasting about drinking wine made during the time when jews were being taken from France to nazi camps to be killed.

There is just so much she has done too.

All of this is super easy to find on Google to fact check it yourself.

Now going into the lyrics of the song, in English it goes

Bella Hadid, Dua Lipa, Mia Khalifa, every dog gets what's coming to them.

Please keep in mind that not every language directly translates into English with perfect accuracy. However the line essentially just means "Karma is gonna get you"

It's not calling for those celebs to be killed. It just saying that Karma will get them.

#antisemitism #israel #jumblr #palestine #i/p #gaza #i/p war #am yisrael chai

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smashingdollz · 1 year

Note

hihi<3 could I request callie and raihan x

Streamer s/o? s/o wants to be the best streamer ever and really likes wearing cute stuff for their streams :3?

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

hi hi anon! i dont write for Callie but i can give it a try! also i love this prompt so much oh my gosh- thank you for the request! have a nice day anon! <3

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞

-Callie tends to use her status as a pop star and former Inkopolis air host as a way to promote your streams! whenever shes in an interview and they ask her what she likes to do in her free time she replies with, "I enjoy watching my partner, Y/Ns streams! theyre really entertaining and fun!" in general she always finds a way to mention your stream.

-and because of Callie youve grown a lot as a streamer, you used to go live for about 50 people a day. which you didnt mind because the community was wonderful. but now thanks to her, youre averaging way more! thanks to her youre community has grown a lot! so many nice people who are fans of Callie join your lives and say so many nice things! youve grown quite a big online family.

-and Callie makes sure to call out the people who say negative things in your lives and reassures that youre the best. she lurks in chat while you steam and whenever she sees a mean comment flow by she calls them out for it. she says, "If youre mean to Y/N, then youre no fan of mine"

-since you enjoy wearing cute stuff in your streams Callie loves to choose out cute outfits for you to wear! and if its a lazy stream were youre just chatting shell pick out a cute cozy onesie for you! she might even make you a cute outfit herself or have one of her designers to make one for you, as a somewhat signature outfit for your streams.

-sometimes Callie will even join you while your streaming, and when she does shell match whatever cute outfit your wearing that stream. this leads you guys into doing a fashion show for youre viewers. youll go find cute outfits and ask chat for their opinions.

-(the two of you would play those cute little dress up/fashion games. and definitely those "Papa's Freezaria/Pizzaria/etc" games)

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐡𝐚𝐧

-much like Callie, he also uses his reputation to promote your streams! whenever hes in interviews hell do the same thing as Callie and find a way to mention your streams! he'll even post about you from time to time.

-he'll buy you cute clothing and cute pokemon onesies for you to wear on stream! he'll have you pose with him and take a picture of and post it online with the caption of; "My partner is live right now! go check them out!" and you automatically get a lot of nice people and comments on your streams!

-he'll happily play games with you on stream. but it will take a lot of convincing for him to put on a Pokemon onesie and sit down with you as you chat with the viewers, he of course gives in because he cant say no to you forever. soon he fully embraces it and takes a photo of the two of you in matching Pokemon onesie and posts it. and sometimes the two of you dress up your own Pokemon in cute things and have them join in on the stream! the viewers really enjoy that.

-he defiantly supports your goal of being one of the best streamers. hes always there to take care of you when youre in need while streamin, need water? hes on it. youre humgry? he makes you a 5 course meal so you could enjoy, he doesnt mind you watibg or drinking on stream but sometimes he makes you take a break so you could actually enjoy yourself and not strain yourself. he makes sure streaming doesnt stress you out and that its something that you should enjoy and not feel like a chore.

-as i said before, he loves to play games with you while streaming. thet two of you would be playing a horror game and people would expect you to be the one screaming and holding onto Raihan, but its actually the opposite. hes screaming at the horrific visuals holding onto you as you concentrate(youre carrying the whole game, he died and just let you go on without him), trying to beat the game so you guys could play a happy two player game.

-(i also feel like he would be absolutely terrified of those Roblox horror games 💀)

i hope you enjoyed this! i had so much fun writing this! (oh also i didnt realize you didnt specify if you wanted a story, headcannons, etc. so i did headcannons by default. next time please specify if you want something specific! /not mad)

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johannwolfgangvongoethe · 7 months

Text

Some Personal Thoughts on Disability in Enstars

disclaimer: disability is a very broad term that covers many different experiences. i will be talking about physical disabilities since i feel most comfortable doing so/have experience with them. obviously that ignores a Huge part of what disability and chronical illness is and can be. but i think it is beyond my capabilities to talk about experiences i don't know much about.

alt caption: i think ritsu is a good character and im trying to explain to myself why

this is sort of a long post, sorry.

content warnings: i talk about ableism and touch on related topics such as dehumanization and objectification and such below. individual parts of this post have their own cw's.

Enstars Writing, Beloathed

to get this out of the way; it is bad sometimes. this is discussed very often. it doesnt depend on the authors either, in my opinion, some writers will hit you with something really troublesome only to (seemingly accidentally) invent human emotion and compassion in a different story. i dont want to repeat what others have said eloquently but there is a fair amount of imperialist worldviews, xenophobia, just racism really, transphobia, ableism, and copaganda to be found in enstars. this isnt about x character being x thing, but about how it is very noticable when the author of a story holds these worldviews and they bleed into their stories.

so that is not the greatest foundation if youre looking for well-written disabilities. but i wouldnt be reading enstars if i didnt think it genuinely is really really good sometimes. in my opinion, the way disabilities are portrayed is a mixed bag overall but there are some extremely worthwhile bits that touched me quite a lot.

What I personally understand as Well-Written Disability

the way disabled people suffer often goes unnoticed, and disabled people dont have a platform to talk about oppression. a lot of life-changing issues can go unnoticed to those unnaffected by them, even if they are in broad daylight: underfounded or entirely lacking healthcare, the way many healthcare systems are marketbased and ethics are prone to suffer bc of this (even under 'welfare' capitalism), a lack of equal marriage, the inaccessibility of the most basic and necessary facilities, financing care and the dependency on family/loved ones (both a logistical and psychological problem), the huge stigma against disabled people, etc, etc, you get me....

we need to write about people who need care, to keep them in mind at all times. disabled people are not a minority in a mathematical sense but in a hierarchical sense. it is naive to think of them as "a substancial percentage" of populations. as we age, we inevitably all enter the stage of needing care at some point. SO to an extend, i want to claim its a topic that affects every single person. yet disabled people are rarely a central topic anywhere. it is not enough to acknowledge them, we need to plan and think with them in mind. and Write with them in mind, i guess.

SO when i see fiction grapple the topic, i am usually really happy, even if the portrayal isnt ideal. (critical, maybe, but generally speaking very happy) pointing out "badly" written disabled characters is obviously not as easy as calling someone out for uncritically saying "i think eugenics are a good idea!!!" through fiction. people with that sort of facist mindset exist of course but ableism does not end there.

if i were to single out things i see often: i think the most disappointing thing a story can do is to - mention a disability without it ever having an impact on people in the story (-> the disability is basically nonexistent, has no impact or relevance, outside of a theoretical mention) OR - uncritically use a disabled character as a mere plot devise, without granting them the ability to speak (-> dehumanization, a lack of understanding that disabled people are, well, People. they do shit.)

and then of course there is fetishization, both in a literal sense and in an inspiration porn sense and the problem of turning disability into a caricature for jokes (either to other disabled people for their behaviour/body or to create a sense of satisfying superiority by laughing at them) but i feel like those problems explain themselves.

to apply these to very basic examples: i think often something like a robotic sci-fi prosthetic is not a good way to represent a disability because it fails to represent what people go through irl and provides a "magic fix" without repercussions. here is a really good post about it. about the plot device issue... i think it is similar to what people often criticise as "manpain". a disabled person will never appear or speak, they are demoted to being the reason an able-bodied character acts a certain way, like a lifeless accessory. this doesnt always have to be bad, esp if its just a sideplot! but it can get tiring if the audience never gets to learn about other aspects of the unseen character in question and we are only introduced to their suffering.

all of this to talk about gacha idol boys. it is how it is. anyway, this is roughly my mental state when i tackle enstars.

disclaimer 2: i am really just a kogaP. this influences which characters i encounter when reading. there are tons of stories i just never looked at and there is SO MUCh lore i just dont know about. please lemme know if you have additions to stuff i say/understand a character better/have related story recommendations! tl;dr the sakuma bit will be long.

disclaimer 3: i genuinely adore every single character mentioned below and am always excited to learn smth new about them. if i criticize writing, that has nothing to do with that character or their fans. it is about the writers.

the most obvious example. Eichi (content warning for brief mentions of self harm and suicidal ideation)

everything eichi does, he does with the knowledge he will most likely die young. that is a truly dramatic setup.

but before i get back to that thought. it always felt to me like eichis illness(/es) lack a certain sense of conciseness? i do not think you need to put a name and diagnosis on it for it to be relatable and real to readers, tbh!! though to achieve believability, there needs to be a good amount of consistency. what i can recall off the top of my head is the following:

he breaks down/straight up blacks out frequently due to weakness and dizzyness

measures were taken to secure his safety in those situations (the infamous Eichi-kun Gauge as seen in Element)

his stamina is seriously low

he coughs a lot

we saw him cough up blood (Daydream)

he relies on long hospital stays because his health needs to be monitored and/or supported this closely

he stays inside a lot (hinting towards problems with his immune system?)

being healthy enough to eat unhealthy food is a big deal to him, so there are dietary restrictions/it was necessary to precisely control what he eats

his grandfather, who died recently, is considered an outlier for how long he lived (so it IS hereditary)

which..... could be a lot of things...? or, more likely: a culmination of many things at once. if you have headcanons on eichis health, please lemme know!

but in addition to eichis terminal illness, there is a second quality to him that seperates him from most disabled people: he is extremely wealthy. and his wealth is fundamentally important to stories. usually illness and poverty go hand in hand, since incame is tied to the ability to work, which worsens an already bad situation. no matter how limited eichis actions are because of his body, the possibilties offered by his wealth make him a central figure in every overarching plot. in addition to this, his family is well aware of his consitution and he is a patriarchal leading figure to them, the head to their coporate hierachy. eichi is free of the things that usually rid the chronically ill of their safety and power: society (he is an idol and popular) and money (he is the richest boy in japan). if youd ask me, i think that while being chronically ill is of course physically taxing, the worse problem is the economic state it puts you in. eichi simply overcomes this? yes, he is terminally ill, his situation is terrifying. but he has an extraordinary amount of control while he lives. more than a poor yet able-bodied person may have.

his unique circumstances enable him to be incredibly active. this is so fun to read about in my opinion. its a fascinating setup to me. without casting any sort of moral judgement on his actions and the antagonistic role he plays; he is, excuse me for my phrasing here, a disabled power fantasy. (at least to me)

this is a double-edged sword to him. because of who he is as a person (ambitious, cunning, ruthless, diligent)

he lives in relative safety but his strong ambition and financial ability to fulfill his dreams tempt him to go past his limits. because his remaining lifetime is uncertain, the need to preserve the body he is given seems uneconomical (a mindset his upbringing and education as an heir to his family would have enforced imo) he is bound to break down sooner or later anyway. i think he begins to see himself and his body as a tool to achieve his goals and neglects spending time on anything BUT working towards them. so the moment he runs out of goals (like at the end of Element), his reason to "remain" becomes futile.

it really struck with me how he appears in Blackbird - emaciated, pathetic, purposefully neglected because he chose to be neglected and weak in an act of self harm bc denying medical attention (something that couldnt have happened otherwise) wataru has to remind him that no one died and the obvious connection to make is that the eccentrics are physically unharmed and starting over, that they should not be a source of guilt to eichi. but i think this is just as much about eichi himself. he might have expected to die since he left the hospital and overexhausted himself at school and as an idol. he didnt die though. it was a real possibility and seemed likely but he didnt. the neglect and indirect self harm here point out, to me, that he saw the "role" he gave himself as fulfilled at that point and waited to die.

eichi stands over economic or social factors that could ostracize and dehumanize him but funnily enough he manages to do so himself by treating his body as a tool and his happiness as an option that got overshadowed by a need to succeed.

this vulnerability makes him, despite how vague the descriptions of his illness are and despite how unrelatable his wealth is, a very satisfying character imo. it is engaging to me. certain limits are removed for him but he created new ones, specifically because he did not see himself as something worth sustaining once he becomes useless. imo, eichi applied the idea that a lifes worth can be measured in its ability to function in an industry to himself. and spiralled over it, entirely inverting his uncanny amount of bodily autonomy. it is clear how the situation he is in worsens his mental health like that. and how his mental health in turn worsens his physical health. it is inseperable.

i cant really get into !! era eichi because i genuinely just dont... know enough. the fine tradition of having a weekly H-Day stands out, though. after all, eichi has new bigger ambitions and is, once again, inviting his own ruin through overexhaustion. so his friends (the new addition of having friends is essential) had to forcefully make him stop for at least one day a week. that is pretty big. i think.

this is true for many marginalized existences so it of course applies to disabled people: if neither your surroundings nor yourself permit you to feel human and therefore assign your person an inherent worth and lovability... sometimes you need a friend to do so!!! social circles are the best support structure for your health.

The Sakuma Family

(i will get into ritsu and rei seperately later on. there are just a few concepts i want to get out of the way that apply to both of them.)

so... to get a little theoretical; the concept of "disability" relies on the concept of a "normative" human existence. "disability" is an otherness and can therefore easily be seen as a "monstrocity" in the eyes of ignorant people, something that instils fear. (there is a reason why a lot of horror exploits disabled bodies as a source of terror and uses mental hospitals as settings) from an able-bodied point of view it seems "desirable" to be a "normative human", yet the disabled person knows that is not a possibility and knows their worth and place as a human in human spaces. at least ideally. able-bodied people sometimes lack this understanding. there is nothing to be desired about an able body or fixed about a disabled body, beyond what medical care can do for ones quality of life.

if you have read operetta, this is all very familiar;

operetta, chapter 17 and, well, here we are. vampires. a very basic truth about the sakuma family that i hate to see denied is that they are human. there is nothing supernatural about them. they are just disabled. or, to turn the idea around, if one was to assign them vampiristic traits and such... is vampirism not a disability and should be taken seriously as such? if you consider the limits a vampire has while coordinating through their life, is that not... strangely just a disabled experience? (MINUS THE KILLING PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY but much modern fiction is sympathetic towards vampires instead and does not display them as violent)

anyway, to hear it from the horses mouth (the horse is rei):

operetta, chapter 19 the sakuma family is a curious case. their condition is hereditary though the severity varies from person to person. it comes up in many stories but for the most part i am thinking about operetta, resurrection sunday, and devils right now. how did this all start? what made an entire family turn to live as vampires, with blood ceremonies and all that? what bizarre kind of generational trauma is this?

(and, while it does not play a role as important as it did for eichi, they are rich. this is important to mention. many normal experiences just dont apply to them because wealth makes them immune. ... how did the sakumas become this influential anyway.)

for an unspecified but long time, an entire family managed to mentally entirely seperate themselves from the rest of humanity because of their chronical illness. personally, i have no doubt this is the result of a world that othered them first. whether the main motivator at play here is a defensiveness towards a society that cannot understand you or an internal need to turn hardships into an identity that can be carried with pride. it takes a considerable amount of emotional strength and planning for the "hey we are human actually" declaration in operetta to occur.

they are, weirdly, what people mean when they talk about a "toxic anti-recovery mindset". (an expression i struggle with because this sort of rhetoric is often used to discriminate against disabled people who speak up for themselves or ask for accomodations. but that aside) it is an amount of pride that leads to internal self destruction.

of course, as is the case with every single character i write about in this post, a lot of it has to do with aesthetics and being chuuni to sell gacha cards. so we know the reason behind the reason. but it makes for some bizarre in-universe implications.

but in any case, the fact that their identity as false vampires is something they have always carried, that modern society sees as "mystical and sexy" has a hilarious side effect: their disability becomes marketable under the guise of vampirism. it is hard to recover from that.

so again, we have a double-edged sword: to present ones medical condition as a "persona" declares it as a performative act, something that is done to bring joy to an audience. personal detriment is not considered here, since it stops being a part of ones being and starts to become "work". the time and place of ones symptoms has to overlap with the time and place of ones performances. or people will hate you for your uncontrollable illness. however, rei and ritsu are both also able to carry their condition with a sort of playfulness. it is almost something like the act of "reclaiming" when they purposefully choose to larp a little for fun. usually, when a scene mentions their disability in the context of comic relief, they have control over the situation that unfolds and even initiate it and invite others to laugh alongside them. this can be a slippery slope to getting harrassed of course.... but i am rather baffled by the amount of dominance they have in social interactions. so it just reads as a healthy amount of dark humour to me.

this, and the consistent writing of their symptoms, and the ability to easily compare it to real existing illnesses, easly make them my favourite instance of written disabled people in the series. their illness has an impact on their behaviour and it is detrimental! and they are both very human in the way they attempt to cope. there is a certain realism to it. idek.

many people seem to headcanon them with myalgic encephalomyelitis, which is a really good explanation, and i personally want to suggest narcolepsy. the point being, there is room to accurately assign them a realistic relatable and understandable condition, even if nothing is ever named in canon. and of course they are mentioned to have an iron deficiency.

bear with this slightly "out there" theory for a moment: have you or a friend ever tried to get a compensation for your disadvantage at school or uni? it can be really hard to do, if it is possible at all, even if it is something very simple (more time, a slightly different enviroment, the ability to drink or sit, etc) yumenosaki is a school for performance arts, mainly idols. bold statement: it might genuinely be easier to get/explain an accommondation for your "idol quirk" (something that would be actively fostered), than for your disability. not that yumenosaki is very strict or asks for a lot anyway, its just something that has been on my mind.

here is another funny thing i have been thinking about: both of them crave juice, soda, and fruit - sugary yet fresh stuff. i feel like this is not uncommon for people who suffer from excessive tiredness and fatigue, the body subconsciously wishes for some sugar intake to "wake up".

Inventing a Guy to Cope. Rei

funny title aside... he... did that... ? rei is a curious example of how different mostly unrelated traumas can overlap. he had no childhood, thanks to his family that considered him "mature" at a very young age and his early status as a child star. and his bad health is a miserable addition to this. it is quite scary to image how pressured to do right he felt growing up and how that resulted in the fragmented distanced way he views himself; reinventable, and ultimately unknowable. (to others AND himself)

despite his bad health he has always been working and performing "well". he was praised for his remarkable talents but rarely had the chance to stop and patch himself up. whether this was a result of a pushy enviroment or his personality as a people pleaser who cannot show weakness and imperfection is hard to tell. maybe both.

the state he is in in Crossroad is fascinating to me. he all but directly lists the criteria of depression to keito when he attempts to explain his sorrows. he is restless, rowdy, mentions later on that he enrolled in yumenosaki against his familys wishes. he is very much searching for joy and his own identity in the middle of a health emergency. this has to do with the way he was raised, only knowing how to exist for and serve others, how he was made to sell a made-up version of himself, but i also believe it has to do with the fact he has started to exclude himself from his familys traditions and values. he started to cast away the uncertain "monstrosity" existence of his family (as well as the false idolhood others assigned him) and instead embraces humanity as a chronically ill person.

crossroad, i forgor which chapters

this of course marks a starting point of change that later results in him making up the wagahai pronouns persona - something he specifically created with the intention of looking vulnerable and weak. because he yearned to do less, to recover from years of exhaustion.

in a way, i want to say both, the ore pronouns persona and the wagahai pronouns persona, are attempts to cope with expectations he cannot handle physically or mentally. one relies on masking, on appearing stronger than he actually is and therefore invulnerable, and the other relies on exaggerating his weakness, in an attempt to finally let others recognize it. i think as a disabled person, both are performances one has to learn in order to "function" in everyday life, while remaining safe from serious harm (doing badly at ones job or classes, angering others that hold power over your life). since ones circumstances are often hard to grasp for someone who does not share the same illness, there is no choice but to simplify and exaggerate until symptoms become tangible concepts or to just brave through it, at the cost of ones health and future time.

rei in particular, for better or for worse, is incredibly capable when he needs to be and unfortunately that means others will often not take his health seriously because they saw him function just fine the other day. this is a general problem but an obvious offender in that regard is koga, who comments on reis fatigue constantly and loves to create a bit of a high expectations toxic work enviroment (and, to be fair, rei terrorizes him too. kogas hostility towards rei is sometimes ableist but not really rooted in ableism. after all koga is highly aware how performative the wagahai persona can be and is a huge motivational and inspirational factor in reis life. its a whole complex)

!! era holds some positive changes. his mental need to please other people remains a persistent source of trouble for him (and others) but he seems to really let his body recover and lives a more nocturnal life. both kuro and kaoru mention that he looks more healthy (in succession match???? i think??) since he finally stopped enforcing a normal day/night cycle on his body just to comply with social norms. you can indeed be very human even if you break human-made rules.

(additional comment: "becoming human" is of course a theme for each of the eccentrics and not uniquely tied to disability, it very much has to do with the objectification one goes through as a public figure. but this is a post about disability and it really fits in well. so here we go)

Literally Just a Realistic Teenager. Ritsu

ritsu, while not really being among my favourite characters, is my favourite instance of a disabled character in enstars. partly because of his writing and partly because my personal experiences overlap with his so much it sometimes is painful - but always extremely satisfying. just had to get that out.

ritsu is perhaps the most visibly ill. he blacks out and sleeps where he stands, everywhere, without control and often requires other peoples (well, mostly maos) assistance in order to remain safe when this happens. he also repeated a year of school, specifically because of his disability.

he is painfully aware of this. that he looks ill, that he behaves ill, that he is an underachiever compared to others of the same age, even to people younger than him.

ritsu developed unique behaviours to deal with this: he is very dependent and clingy and often asks others to do things for him, unapologetically. that does not mean asking for help doesnt hurt his pride, just that it is the most viable strategy for everyday survival that he ended up with. other than that, he clings more to the vampire identity than rei does. either to defy his older brother or, and this is important imo, because it is the one safety net he has to fall back on that makes him feel "normal" and like he is a regular being. albeit not human. no matter how much others might blame him for his shortcomings or how much he is a failure in the eyes of society, he is very regular for a "vampire". under the logic developed by his family, he is just a child, and the world at large is to blame. it is an easier truth to accept than facing systematic injustice and prejudice in a human world.

the stories i mentioned in another part above aside, i really love what ensemble band does for him; ritsu gets extremely irritated with mao in the prologue, seemingly out of nowhere. his character is allowed to express this sort of anger and to take it out on others, even if it is unjust and misguided. it is not pretty and it isnt good behaviour but it is a very heartfelt emotion to me.

its obvious that he cannot compete with others and that this will always been seen as his personal fault instead of a circumstance he cannot influence. and more than that: no one appreciates the real efforts he makes. for instance, getting himself out of bed in time for classes is difficult for regular teenagers and straight up hellish for ritsu. but he manages to do so a lot later on. instead of acknowledging that this is a real accomplishment on his part and possibly really exhausting and bad for his comfort in the long run, this is seen as doing the bare minimum.

while it is not correct, the malice ritsu sometimes treats others with comes from an comprehensible place. able-bodied ignorance can appear as purposeful slights made by those more privileged than him.

yet he learns to conform. his friends are important to him. knights success is important to him. (thought mental health probably played a role here too and made things even harder prior to his third year of high school) and yet;

seven bridge, chapter 24, but its really just an example i had at hand

the remarks stay the same. his peers still cannot help but brand him as "just lazy", even if they are kind and understanding otherwise and habour no ill intent. so i would like to ask: how long can he keep this up? how hard is this on him?

i dont think i need to explain just how common and hurtful it is to be accused of "laziness". probably the single most irritating comment someone with fatigue will hear every single day.

however, on the flipside, ritsu has perhaps the most people who care for him in comparison with other characters, though they sometimes complain (communication is hard, care is hard, everyone in enstars is very young and i cannot bring myself to see those comments as malice. its a mixture of ignorance and ones own burdens) there is mao, obviously. tsumugi is a very funny example. knights, of course, in particular naru. (at least based on my humble knights readings)

quite interesting how he just decided mao is his caretaker, now and in the future. i shared a few of my thoughts on caretaking here. this is.... a huge responsibility to just put on someones shoulders, to say the least. he shouldnt be doing this but i think it speaks for itself that this is a problem that is on his mind. ITS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT TOPIC TO BRING UP, especially since, the younger you are, the harder it is to get insurance to pay for your care. yes, he is often just teasing mao, but ritsu is looking for ways to get through life. by learning to be as independent as possible, whenever possible. though often you really just find yourself at the mercy of friends and family.

Inter-Sibling Violence

apologies, i will be done with the sakumas soon. i didnt know how to fit this in at the start.

the relationship between rei and ritsu, as people with the same disability who experiences different symptoms and challenges, is worth thinking about. infighting within people of the same disability is very common since experiences can be so different, there are no universal truths or opinions. with different lifestyles come different expectations for what is "normal" and sometimes pressure and social norms can cause someone to shift blame onto others who have no achieved the same things in life.

rei and ritsu are said to have been very close as small children and likely depended on each other a lot. i can see how reis fostering nature and ritsus needy nature developed alongside each other and enforced each other.

time and time again, rei says that he is a "less severe" case, that ritsu has it worse. he jets around the world because he feels forced to do so, when ritsu just wanted emotional support from him to begin with. ritsu stayed alone at home, sheltered and likely caged by their families convictions. but! i want to suggest the following: as much as it hurt him, it was important for reis health to be away from his family, too. i dont think staying there would have been good for him. his absence and the experiences he made away from home were an important catalyst for the positive family development we see in operetta.

of course, rei means well. he cares. he is trying to have a positive impact. yet from ritsus point of view, all of this must feel terribly condescending, especially with how much rei babies him. there is just one year between them. this is barely anything when it comes to sibling inferiority complexes the brain can make up. rei, who is successful and famous and beloved and, most importantly, proclaims to have it "easier than him", is trying to find a cure for him. from ritsus point of view this must be unbearable. their lives are so different when they basically started at the very same point of origin.

more than that, rei shoulders the sketchy blood rituals himself, out of love of course, but if one was more jaded, one could assume he doesnt think ritsu would be able to stomach the responsibility.

you will always compare yourself to your siblings in unhealthy ways but ritsu is just doing this on hard mode, i fear.

HHHRAGAHHHH GHHH ghgghrhgh. Niki

nikis writing is... driving me up a wall sometimes, to say the least. dont get me wrong, i love him. to an extend i understand that his single-mindedness and shallowless has purpose to it. in fact, i adore these character traits. he really seems to be behind four mental barriers at all times, unable to let deeper thoughts touch him, lest they make him succumb to despair. (yet nikis specific flavour of menhera cannot quite shine since... well, he has to stand next to himeru all the time)

the descriptions we get of nikis illness are nonsensical, at least to my knowledge. you could imagine he has something like hyperthyroidism. this never really gets explored though. at some point ENGstars mentions he has "gastroptosis or whatever" (the "or whatever" is part of his dialogue - niki really doesnt give a fuck), which makes no sense at all. weirdly enough, it would even be strangely in character if this was just a misconception.

so, can anyone take niki to a doctor? has this happened and i just wasnt there for it? there is no excuse why no one is considering medical care when it comes to him. except that he often is the butt monkey of jokes the writers want to make and has to stay available for it. more than that; his parents just left him alone like this? as a child? did he get an allowance at least? this cannot be legal, right? i wait for the day this comes up as a topic but i fear it is in vain. (please tell me if it actually did. i dont follow niki that closely) this is an unbelievable thing to do to a healthy child, yet alone one with a severe illness. we are basically looking at denial of assistance.

so many things surrounding nikis story are designed to make him as miserable as possible. i cannot help but feel that he exists purely as comic relief, for funny bickering, and superficial drama. i dont really like that at all, his misery just gets exploited.

EVEN SO... his self-image is actually really fascinating. as rinne likes to point out again and again, niki has no self-worth. he works two jobs, one of which he hates, he constantly gets into dangerous situations, and he will do anything just for some crumbs, and quickly forgets when others treat him badly. and of course, the worst bit:

es!! main story, please dont make me go find it

to some degree, he just accepts this as something he deserves. there is no consideration for his own quality of life, somewhere along the lines it seems like he got conviced just surviving is all he gets. he internalized self-degredation to a dangerous degree and i never see anyone mention this mental affliction specifically as a comorbidity of his disability. to me, there is without a doubt a relation here. sure, maybe he would still fight with this otherwise, just because he had to witness his fathers fall from grace as a child and knows there is a stigma attached to his name now. but i think you can tell it is more than that, from the way he is ashamed to beg (even in a life or death scenario, as seen in hot limit), as if his condition was his own fault.

this circles back to the point i made earlier for eichi; how much nikis life is worth, is measured in his economical value.

of the characters i have spoken of so far, nikis is financially the most accurate to real life. there is no safety net for him, no convenient family wealth.

(at this point it feels important to mention that somehow rinne manages to be the only person entirely aware of the danger and desires to change nikis mindset, YET he is a huge strain on nikis health. i dont know how those two function.)

Just a Lamb. Tatsumi

tatsumis specific trauma is a unique one: while most other characters struggle with conditions they were born with or developed as they grew up, tatsumis injury is the result of strain and violence. those are two different pairs of shoes, though the outcome may be similar. whether it is worse to be born into circumstances you cannot escape or to have to live with having something thrust upon you unfairly is up to personal judgement. pain is not really quantifiable. its just important to keep in mind, i think. under the circumstances tatsumi grew up in, he has his own burdens. it is very easy in many ways to compare and contrast him with eichi. of course this applies to how they used their bodies too: as an expandable resource. they had ideals for their school life (and beyond) that just seemed far more important and they both ended up in hospital because of this. (+ we know tatsumis surroundings were purposefully manipulated to destroy him)

and, of course, tatsumi got attacked later on. he never really talks about it directly but his legs seem to talk for him, in ways.

the story does not quite make it clear whether his occasional weakness and pain are the result of old injuries or entirely psychosomantic, and i dont think there is a real need to know, as a reader. in fact, in a certain light, i think it can be considered good that we dont know for certain: it would be relevant for tatsumi himself, sure, since it would influence which kinds of treatments and help he can seek out. however, i think the ambiguity may foster a certain level of sympathy in readers.

often psychosomatic problems are not taken seriously enough in real life: they cannot be proven physically and they dont fit into the neat little boxes that the ICD wants you to believe exist, so they cannot be defined on paper or easily explained to doctors or insurance providers.

to foster empathy with his situation requires his character to be lovable and for the narrative to treat him with care as well. which is thankfully the case. alkaloid are dear with him and, despite the fact he cannot perform in his work enviroment all the time, he is very respected for his other skills. he is a well-rounded person.

all that aside. it is absolutely worth to mention tatsumi pre-injury, too. he came up with a form of small-scale universal income among a semi-union at school. without getting too much into all that. (obbligato really seems like required lecture in the realm of enstars stories) the entire concept strives for social equality and is extremely anti-discrimination. it fundamentally goes against the idea that someone needs to "deserve" care, and is the opposite of the mindset i described with eichi and niki above. he never had to make first-hand experiences with disability to be extremely compassionate. this seems really rare among people in real life, even those who preach altruism.

While we are Here. K.... Kaname

as mentioned, i spoke a little about kaname before. so i wont get into the complex of caregiving.

it is extremely satisfying we got to meet kaname, if only for one event story. he does not have to remain a faceless motivation behind himeru and tatsumis lives, he thankfully became humanized.

the entire conflict around kaname at the moment is a matter of bodily autonomy. how much of your person can be in anothers hand, ethically? there is no excuse for the theft of his (idol) identity through himeru but the damage is done now. ideally, you dont want any part of yourself to depend on others but the disabled reality is that this is very often impossible. especially for kaname. there simply is no one else who could be responsible for him right now and, to be fair, at least when it comes to medical care, himeru seems to behave very responsibly.

repeating what has been said in the other post but i am worried for kanames seemingly inevitable reintroduction to the story. he has been in a comatose state for a year. if he wakes (since this is fiction, it is possible to exchange 'if' for 'when', realistically it really would be an 'if' though) he would most likely be confronted with permanent neurological and physical damage and years of rehabilitation. at least logically. (not to mention the psychological shock) would this be written with compassion and a sense of realism? it makes for a compelling source of conflict and emotional hardships that could be extremely worthwhile to explore. i just cant entirely bring myself to trust the writers with this one but i would love to be convinced otherwise.

that is, of course, if they dont somehow just skip rehabilitation entirely and declare it a miracle healing.....

imo, the in-game discourse between characters is just as important as his future development. i just really hope autonomy and recovery will be large topics.

He doesnt go here, but. Adonis

so bringing him up just really feels necessary within the context of this post because of his interests. one of adonis hobbies is sign language and accessibility.

this is, i think, maybe the best thing they ever did with his "protector" persona. it just fits so well, it is a direct conversion of ideals to actions. knowing undead songs have been translated for a deaf audience in canon is extremely wholesome and uplifting, even if it is entirely inconsequential for the story and just something that gets mentioned.

(now that sandstorm is out on engstars, you can check that out too for further mentions of this! if i could wish for one thing, it would be for the stories to acknowledge that there are tons of independent sign languages and i would love to know which one adonis and rei speak... you ever think about how adonis speaks like four languages fluently. at least.)

nightless city live, chapter 3

everyone in undead loved that and supported the vision. to see koga, who is usually against anything but musical performances and wishes to express art freely, praise the idea really puts deaf identity and accessibility in a great light. it is a very positively radical forwardthinking idea.

so, i just wanted to mention that. adonis is treated horribly by the narrative a lot, it entirely fails to grasp his identity and is insensitive towards foreign cultures, but i would die for him i think.

finishing thoughts

like mentioned, please absolutely let me know if you have different related ideas or recommendations. or corrections, or worries over something i wrote!!! learning and improving is always great. i am sorry i could not get into so many other characters, the ones i wrote about are those that i feel confident enough to comment on. in the future i would love to meet maguro!! i just havent really read any mama stories at all :'''3

i feel like i barely said anything at all and barely engaged with text enough since i didnt get into any character specifically. i would love to write another post about ritsu or rei or both. a draft for it has been sitting around for ages (as did the draft for this post, lol) but i hope someone will find an interesting thought in here somewhere.

all in all, enstars is actually... surprisingly nice to read for the disability in there??? even if it is disappointing in handling many other things. of course, the writings not always ideal (i read hidden beast just the other day and the ableism in there took years off my life) but often its really nice. nothing hits quite like seeing real emotions and experiences through some metaphorical stylized anime lense, you feel.

anyway thank you for listening. i am actually for real done now.

#enstars #ensemble stars #enstarsposting #did i overreact and write too much..... ah... nay......

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