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tswaney17 · 1 year

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Across the Hallway - Epilogue

The happiest of happy birthdays goes out to the wonderful, amazing, gorgeous, sweet @offtorivendell! You are an incredible person and I am lucky to call you my friend. I know you love this fic, so here's a little epilogue to conclude the series. Thank you for inspiring this final part. I hope you picked out the pieces I put in specifically for you. All my love. 💜

I hope you have a truly wonderful day, my love! 💕

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💜💙💚

Catch up here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4**

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: lots of fluff🥰

Word Count: 1,580

Even after eight months of being together, Elain still got butterflies in her stomach whenever she saw Azriel. A wave of utter happiness would wash over her just in his presence. He was everything she dreamed of wanting—even went as far as believing that she had too high of expectations until she met him. But after everything Graysen had put her through, Elain felt like she owed it to herself to find someone who truly cared for her.

And care for her he did. Azriel was attentive, affectionate, kind, loyal, considerate, and indescribably good in bed. The love, the pleasure she received from him was beyond her imagination.

After just six months, they moved in together, buying their first home. It wasn’t fancy—a small cottage-like house with a garden in the back and planters around the front. Sitting on just the outskirts of Velaris, it gave them the privacy they enjoyed while still not being too far from their jobs.

Elain maintained the garden, bringing it back to life and flourishing practically every kind of flower one could think of, while Azriel worked on the house in the areas that needed a little TLC. She helped him where she could and he always made a point to assist her in the garden when he was able to.

They truly made the perfect team in building their life, their home, together.

Shadow was growing out of his kitten stage, though he was still as loveable as he was when he was young. He had taken to Azriel exceptionally well—to the point that Elain sometimes became jealous of the attention Az received from her baby.

By the time she arrived at their home that night, it was close to seven. Cerridwen was out sick and since the wedding of the Whitethorn-Galathynius’s, her bakery had taken off. Elain was in the process of finding more help, but had yet to hire anybody; so, she was responsible for taking on the extra work when one of her two employees was ill. She was bone-tired and looking for some much-needed R&R with her boyfriend and little furball.

Opening the front door, she called out, “I’m home!”

“Living room,” Azriel grunted back.

Tossing her keys into the ceramic bowl by the door, she kicked off her shoes and went in search of her man, wondering why he sounded like he did.

What Elain didn’t expect to see was Azriel in the middle of their living room doing pushups, Shadow curled up on his bare back dozing despite the movements. Her brows shot into her hairline. Pursing her lips in an attempt not to laugh at the little show, Elain asked, “What exactly is going on here?”

Azriel dropped onto his stomach, breathing heavily as he looked up at her with his chin propped on his wrist. “I was trying to work out, but somebody was incredibly needy today.” He glanced over his shoulder at the cat still lying on his back. “It started when I was doing sit-ups. He leaped onto my chest and stayed tucked there until I finished. Then I put him on the floor and he jumped onto my back when I switched to pushups.”

Elain giggled, walking further into the room, and plucked the black ball of fur from his back.

Shadow peeked open an eye at her, meowing once before he snuggled into her chest.

“Hi, my sweet boy. Were you bothering daddy when he was trying to work out?” she cooed, kissing his little head.

Azriel rolled onto his back and sat up, resting his arms around his knees. “Thank God. I would’ve been stuck there until he got off or you removed him.”

Laughing, she bent at the waist and dropped a kiss onto his lips. “You could’ve just rolled to the side and made him slide off.”

He huffed, standing up. “And what kind of a father would I be if I just pushed him off me?”

She raised a single brow, shooting him a sly grin. “You’re going to spoil our future children rotten, aren’t you?”

Azriel laughed, the sound deep and joyful. “Oh, absolutely.”

Elain shook her head, sighing to herself but still amused. “At least they will be thoroughly loved.”

Wrapping her and Shadow into his arms, Az kissed the side of her head. “The most loved children the world will ever see.”

She hummed in contentment.

“I’m going to shower. Dinner is in the oven if you want to take a peek at it before feeding Shadow.” Tilting his head forward, he kissed her again.

“Sounds good. I’ll be in in a few to change.” Elain twisted on her heel, making her way to the kitchen.

* * *

Azriel waited until Elain was in the kitchen before he headed for their bedroom. Going to his dresser, he opened the top drawer with all his socks and rooted around to the back corner where a small, black box was currently being stored. Pulling it out, he flicked open the lid to look at the engagement ring he had picked out a month earlier.

It was beautiful—rose-gold colored with a band of leaves at the top, centering on the middle diamond. Azriel picked it because it looked like a flower and knew that Elain would love the simplicity of the style, but resonate with it at the same time. It was so perfectly her, he was enamored by the ring when he first saw it.

Too absorbed by his thoughts, Azriel didn’t hear Elain until she asked him, “What is that?”

He whipped around, snapping the ring box closed, and found her standing in the doorway of their bedroom, face slack with shock. Her eyes were glued to the black container in his palm.

His panic had him stumbling back a step. He hadn’t meant for her to see the ring yet. Had a whole plan for them to have dinner in the garden she created. He was going to string up some twinkling lights, have soft music playing from their portable speaker, cook her a delicious dinner of steak and roasted potatoes paired with an expensive bottle of wine. But all of those plans came crashing down. “Uhh, this isn’t—it’s not what it looks like…”

Her eyes widened at the blatant lie. “Do you want to try that again when you don’t still have the box in my line of sight?”

Azriel didn’t move. Didn’t try and hide the box. He swore lowly. “This isn’t how I wanted to ask you.”

Elain took a small step farther into the room. Swallowing, she questioned him, “How did you want to ask me?”

He sighed, scratching the back of his head. “I had everything all planned out. If I don’t tell you, I can still keep a minuscule amount of the romance in it.” His dry chuckle felt self-deprecating.

She took another step. “Ask me now.”

If Azriel was unexpecting anything today, this would by far be at the top of the list. “I wanted to ask you in the garden. I have twinkly lights hidden in the garage that I was going to put up. I was going to cook you dinner and buy a bottle of wine and tell you how much I loved you.” He shook his head, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Being half-naked, sweaty from a workout was not what I intended for.”

Moving around the bed so he was directly in front of her, he dropped down to one knee. “Elain Violet Archeron—you have captured my heart since the first day you burst into my apartment chasing after Shadow. I never knew what I wanted out of somebody that I planned to share my life with until I met you.”

She choked up at that, eyes lined with silver.

“When we met, I was struck stupid not just by how beautiful you were, but by how kind and generous you were. How loving and so full of life you were even when you were still dealing with your past. I knew instantly that one day, you would be my wife. The mother of my children. So, the only thing left for me to do is ask you.” He popped open the black box, relishing in her gasp at the ring inside. “Elain, would you do me the greatest honor of marrying me?”

Tear tracks stained her cheeks as she reined in her sobs. “Yes, Azriel. A thousand times yes.”

He rose, hauling her into his chest, and kissed her fiercely. Her soft lips molded to his, sighing into his mouth and granting him access to deepen it with his tongue.

Elain wrapped her arms around his neck, clutching him closely. “I love you so much, Azriel,” she breathed, the words marking his soul and shining like golden rays of sunshine.

With his arms still around her, he flipped the box back open and pulled the ring from its velvet cushion. Releasing her, Az took her left hand and slipped the engagement ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly and he prayed to the mother that he managed to get the size right with all his attempts while she slept. His amber gaze met her bright eyes and he told her, “I love you, Elain. Now and forever.”

When he kissed her again, Azriel sent up a thank you to whoever was listening for letting him move into the apartment across the hallway.

~~~~~~

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girlvinland · 5 months

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Ehhhh. This is just a vent about something not too serious rn but it annoyed me enough to want to write about it lol. And I’m sorry if this is perhaps comes off as a bit judgmental in some way.

I was watching one of Drama Kween’s videos yesterday about Gen Alpha and Millenial parents and I heavily agree with the message that you should not be putting your kid in front of an ipad and calling it a day and that you should be tending to their mental, emotional, and physical development, but omg one of the tiktoks she showed rubbed me the wrong way so badly. It was this person talking about how a mom brought her kid into the person’s workplace, and the kid started throwing business cards on the floor or something while the mom did nothing, but the person kept completely dehumanizing this child and calling them “it” and “satan spawn” and speaking with so much hatred about it and it just totally shut my brain down. I was honestly kind of stunned by it bc I thought we were moving past that a bit. Guess not?

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that kids are a lot and can be annoying/loud/overwhelming/etc. But whenever someone speaks about them like that, even out of frustration, it makes me feel like they have no empathy for the child at all and like everything is centered around their day and their inconveniences like they’re not talking about a child being a child and you know, acting like a child (and possibly one who is bored or under-stimulated in some way and therefore acting out). And in this case, the mom should have said something to the kid or redirected their attention or disciplined them somehow like. I agree! But man, hearing people use those terms or have this overall hatred and disdain for children and acting like it’s a good thing just. Idk. I think it says a lot about someone, esp if they’re willing to post it online and everything. It’s one thing to criticize a parent’s actions or behavior in a certain situation, but it’s another to act like a child is an animal or an object that’s just there to ruin your day and who isn’t a human with their own needs. It’s not the child’s fault that the parent isn’t parenting, you know? I’m not a parent, but I’ve had jobs where I was interacting with children for large portions of time, and I do understand the annoyance of it sometimes, but just. They’re still human too.

I think this is why I really dislike a lot of the overall vibes of the “childfree” community sometimes (not that this person in the tiktok was, but the language reminded me of it). It’s like, even if I’m not currently a parent (and for a while when I was younger wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be/felt more on that side of things), I truly have never understood what’s good about referring to children as “spawn” or parents as “breeders” and acting so high and mighty about not having/wanting children. It’s like once I hear someone refer to kids with dehumanizing terms, I kind of mentally shut off and am not really interested in hearing any more. It’s very possible to say “yeah I don’t like children or being around them” without being a complete asshole about it. I mean, we were all kids once. We probably annoyed the shit out of people at one point or another too. We were still humans who deserved respect, even if we were tired or cranky or annoying, and even with regards to discipline.

But yeah, idk. It kind of just got to me, and I feel like they could have gotten their point across in a much better way without putting their disdain on full blast or whatever. Even if someone has good points to make, it doesn’t exactly make them seem like any better of a person than the parent when that’s how they choose to talk about the child, at least imo. Again, I understand kids being annoying sometimes. I don’t understand why using dehumanizing language about them is so common in these cases.

#by bug #just a vent about something minor #also sorry for typos I just woke up lol

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thatonesonofabitch · 7 months

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I blocked someone recently, because I gained the self-respect to realize I don't have to put up with other's bull, but...

It does make me think.

Was I in the wrong? Someone being blind to their own flaws is a common thing. In that situation even though I was level-headed I was definitely looking down on the person, so did I truly say something that garnered that reaction?

I mean they were immediately hostile, they used their own unique situation as if it were law and thus decried my own experiences as if it were unique, and they claimed I was being rude when I really wasn't trying to be.

I understand that some people feel nothing but hatred, that they're aggressive towards anything that moves and are hostile to anything that breathes but I can't help but look down on them, as I look down on myself from the past, when I was like that.

Except I would like to think I was never that bad. Sure, I was definitely self-centered and willing to argue when I was a teenager, but to be that way to someone who reached out to me out of pure curiosity?

Maybe I got them on the wrong day, but in spite of my own introspective thoughts I don't think I was in the wrong, there.

Some people are just hostile and hateful. I'm not one of them, it makes me much too tired nowadays. Feeling hate is too exhausting to do. Feeling any strong emotions is for me, even happiness and excitement, so I think they were heavily misinterpreting what I was saying.

Because I'm not physically able to be as energetic and hostile anymore. Everything has been taken, so only my peaceful attempt at kindness remains.

I really don't know.

I don't think I said anything over the top.

I said advice was advice, whether it be bad or good.

I said I reached out because I saw the comment (not knowing it was deleted) and couldn't find the post, so I was wondering what the post was (they didn't say but amidst their lowercase yelling I figured it out).

I said that people criticize themselves more than they criticize others (a common saying).

I also said that the advice I'd given had worked for me and others, and that being a minority of less than 1% of the world (less than 800,000 people since I'm rounding) didn't change that.

None of that is an insult, so I think I was justified. I am bad at explaining stuff, though, so maybe I was just saying things wrong. Who knows?

#argument #online debate #im debating #am i the asshole #i dont know #i wasnt trying to be hostile tho and they definitely were

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strangelysamantha · 3 years

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hey, i have a jj maybank request! fem!reader, possible angst!

so basically, y/n is a pogue and gets along with the other pogues (john b, pope, sarah, kiara & cleo) except for jj. y/n is always bright, a total sweetheart and bubbly and jj…hates it.

john b recently opens up a surf board shop on that stranded island that they’re on?? and he leaves y/n and jj alone to polish some boards hoping that they’d get along. jj complains about every little thing y/n does and starts calling her names. she gets really upset and storms out the shop to clear her head. she goes by the water for a swim but a dangerous tide picks her up and jj notices and saves her?? hopefully this makes sense!

the deep end ☆

jj maybank x fem!reader.

warnings: mentions of drowning, jj being an asshole, swearing.

words: 1,674.

summary: jj somehow finds everything you do annoying to the point he criticizes everything you do. john b thinks of a plan that will ensure his two friends will befriend each other. it was working at first, until it wasn’t.

request? yes!

a/n: y’all have such good ideas what the?! thank you for the request! if you enjoyed please like and comment. this is angst with fluff at the end. <3 BTW i am from missouri and have never surfed so i hope i got the polishing of the surfboards correct. :)

my masterlist

——————————————————————————

john b always had a plan, well usually he did. if two of his friends were fighting, he would always find a way to get them to get along. he knew that stranding kiara and sarah on a boat together in the middle of nowhere would force them to fix their friendship. so, with that knowledge, he knew that he could do the same thing with jj and you.

you were always nice to jj, he just seemed to get annoyed with you all the time. you didn’t know what you had done, if you had even done something. he just always felt the need to critique you. it became harder and harder everyday to ignore him.

since washing up on the abandoned island, john b was ecstatic for his brand new start. unsurprisingly to anyone, his first idea for creating a new civilization would be a surf shack. he started building it right away. you would occasionally help, but he was determined to do it on his own so he would always send you away.

“okay! john b what would you like my help with? i can do anything you need. just let me know.” you smile brightly at john b, while he stared at you. “listen, i love you. but, i don’t need your help at the moment. you should talk to everyone else.” you frown at his words, “fine. but you better get me the minute you need assistance.” he nodded. “will do.” and with that, you left joining the others.

jj was talking to cleo before silencing upon your arrival. “hey everyone!” you smile at the group in front of you. “hey! how’s john b?” kiara asked. “i think he is good, he’s actually pretty much done.” you play with the bracelet on your wrist. kiara nods, “that’s great.” pope smiles, “statistically speaking, we can’t ensure that his shack will be entirely safe as he built it all on his own.” you stare at pope. “true… we’ll let’s hope it doesn’t collapse on him.” pope smiled at you, glad you listened to his random fact.

jj groaned. “awe, how sweet pope!! you found a girl who wasn’t disgusted by your weird and useless knowledge.” you gasp in shock, “jj! shut up you are so rude.” jj laughs, “it’s just a joke, why do you always have to be so offended?” you glare at jj. “jj it’s not funny, you’re just a dick.” pope sighs. “it’s okay, don’t worry.” you frown in popes direction. you quietly pull away from the group. you walk to an area of sand, plopping yourself down. that’s when john b approached you.

“hey, remember when i told you i would come get you when i needed help?” john b smiled at you. “yes! do you need my help?” you tilt your head to the side, waiting. he nods. “i need you to wax up some of the boards i made.” you nod. “okay! sure.” he walked you to his shack, helping you set up. you began waxing the board, paying attention to the direction and the amount of wax you were applying. john b waits a minute watching you, before he decides to leave.

after a minute, you see jj approaching the shack with john b who held a smug smile on his lips. you shake your head, confused. “friends.” he looked between you and jj. jj held an unamused look on his face. “as my close friends, you will wax these boards for me. you can’t stop until you guys fix whatever feud is going on between the two of you.” john b stands his ground. jj scoffs, “we don’t have a feud.” you nod your head in agreement. “jj is right, his hatred is definitely one sided... it is not a feud.” you laugh softly seeing jj send a glare your way. “yeah okay. whatever guys. just fix it, and if you even try and leave, i’ll send cleo after both of you.” your eyebrows lift in shock. you mutter a quick okay, returning your attention to the board.

jj stares at you, watching you apply the wax. he couldn’t help but get upset. everything you did just made him annoyed. he grabbed the wax, working on the board right by yours. silence falls over the two of you. it’s not awkward or weird, it actually feels quite normal. until jj interrupted it so he could judge you.

“youre doing it wrong. i mean come on.” you stare at jj, “jj please just focus on your own board.” you shake your head, continuing to polish the surfboard. he glares at you. “whatever. just keep doing what you are doing, and then john b or i will fix it after you.” his attention turned back to his board. you rolled your eyes. “i will, thank you.” he breathes in, inhaling the waxy scent. “you are so annoying you know that?” you ignore jj’s words, focusing on the board. he continues, “i mean everything you do. everything you say, it pisses me off.” you nod slightly. “you done?”

“no, actually i’m not.” you bite your lip, fixating on the wax that is spreading along the smooth surface. jj stops waxing the surfboard. you look up to see he is already staring at you. “you know, you act like you are better than us, i mean why do you hang out with us anyway?” jj waits but continues when he realizes you won’t reply. “you are fake, you are so upbeat and bubbly that it’s annoying. you are a double sided two faced bitch who says anything to get in good graces.” you inhale, looking up at him.

“listen jj. we are stranded on this fucking island. TOGETHER. so either drop it and move on, or just shut the fuck up and stay away from me.” you place your hands on your hips, breathing slightly staggered from anger. “everyone speaks so highly of you saying how great you are; but the only jj i’ve met is a total douche. if you hate me so much then just stay the fuck away from me. if you continue you’ll just be wasting your breath and energy anyway.” jj holds back a laugh at your sudden outburst.

“you really think if i had the choice, i would want to be here? especially with you?” jj asked, you already knowing the answer. you stay silent. “exactly. no one can deal with you for that long anyway.” you roll your eyes.

“whatever jj. you win.” you toss the wax to the side, frowning. you don’t turn back to him, you just ignore him. you start to walk towards the beaches seashore. it was getting slightly hot, so you decided to take a dip into the water.

you were salvaging the few moments of freedom you had, before you got john b’s and cleo’s wrath from leaving the scene before mending the friendship with jj. it was practically impossible. what did jj have against you? you tip toed into the water, getting deeper and deeper. you floated at the top of the water; the coolness feeling great on top of your hot skin.

jj truly had the biggest nerve, your mind was overwhelmingly clogged. you felt seaweed scratch against the bottom of your foot, this caused you to jump, your adrenaline levels rising since you thought it was a fish. you try to remain afloat, but the high tide caused the waves to crash right over you repeatedly, being faster and higher than ever. you went above water trying to shout for help, but your mouth was filled, causing no sound to come out. you thrash against the water, kicking to stay afloat. your throat was burning, your legs tired from kicking, and your lungs filled with liquid.

a pair of hands wrap around your stomach, dragging you out the water. you were placed on the warm sand. “shit.” jj stared at you. your head felt light. jj’s hand began pumping your chest, curses falling from his mouth. “come on, just breathe. please.” you cough, the salt water exiting your lungs, and dropping onto your neck. you gasp for air, opening your eyes to be met with jj’s face. you breathe heavily for a minute.

“jj… thank you.” you sit up, pulling him into a tight hug. your hands wrap around his neck, one of them grabbing his hair. his arms held tightly around your waist. his chest was heaving heavily, shaking slightly. “i hate to be so cliché j, but you genuinely saved my life.” he frowns at you. “i almost lost you.”

jj’s confession confused you. “what?” you say softly, your hand combed through his hair. “look. the reason i’m so mean to you, is because i knew that if i was nice to you, my already intense feelings for you would only amplify.” you frown at him. “you’ve had a crush on me this whole time?” jj nodded. you went to talk, but your friends interrupted the moment.

john b rushed to your side, kiara and pope swiftly behind him. “what happened!! we were watching from over there.” john b pointed in a direction farther away. “one minute you were swimming… the next you we’re gone!?” you wipe your neck, trying to dry it off. “jj saved my life. i almost drowned.” you frown, the group in front of you nodded. “im so glad you are okay.” kiara bent down pulling you into a hug. “i’m glad you are safe now too.” pope joined in on the hug; as well as everyone else.

sarah, kiara, and cleo bend down, reaching for your hands. they help you up, dragging you to your feet. they walk you away from the crowd, bombarding you with questions. “so when you were drowning what did it feel like??” you turn around watching jj, you smile slightly before turning to them. “oh get ready for the amount of details i’m going to give you guys.”

possibly a part two…??? not sure yet :) <3 also!! i’m proofreading this tomorrow since i’m not entirely sure if it has errors or not! ily!!

#jj maybank obx #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader angst #fiction #writing #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank angst #jj maybank imagine #outerbanks fanfics #outer banks imagines #outer banks story #outer banks angst #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank outer banks #jj maybank obx fanfic #jj x fem!reader

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kallulovesu · 3 years

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Heyooo :) can you do headcannons for a platonic yandere allies ?? Am aroace so that's the kind that floats my boat, also do you ever feel tired of writing ?? Like .. ur so productive, it's awsome but like .. I hope ur doing it cuz u have energy not cuz you have followers waiting 😬 take care Plz ❤❤🥺

For the anon that asked that yandere reader ask, thx u inspired this ask ur idea is rad :3

(A/N:) ahh thank you for the worry anon, but it’s no problem really!💞 I wouldn’t be making as much content if I wasn’t having any fun, since it’ll probably end up feeling more like chore...and I hate doing chores 😭

That one protective friend that makes sure to check up on you every second (but it’s turned up to the extreme and downright becomes unhealthy in some cases)™

It was ironic to him. Out everyone that he had gotten to know over all these years— hell, perhaps even Arthur; you were the only one he felt like understood him the most. Not many seemed to notice what was going on beneath the surface of his facade, which was why he appreciated you being there. You still liked him despite the many flaws that he had, and tried your best being with him even if it became downright tiring. Alfred would be heavily dependent on you because of this, often going to you to cheer him up— or before he was going to make a rash choice.

So it was only natural that he couldn’t see himself being without you.

You were like a best friend to him; Alfred would even go as far as to say that he felt a familial connection between the two of you. So the deep desire to protect you was normal, wasn’t it? Even when he felt himself worrying for your well-being at even the slightest approach of a stranger, it was just his instinct telling him that there was something wrong. It wasn’t anything unhealthy. Thus, would usually drag you away from anyone that he found to be suspicious; even those he was already familiar with. This would probably result in a lot of arguments, with him trying to say what was ‘best for you’ and with you denying that you needed this much...protection. You swore that it almost felt like he was just isolating you from the others, to have you purely depend on him for whatever reason you couldn’t make up.

Alfred can’t handle being apart from you— nonetheless the idea of you being angry with him, or even hating him . It truly didn’t matter if the reason was rather ridiculous or not, the idea of you hating him just...made his stomach churn uncomfortably. You were his best buddy, and basically one of the only ones he could trust with his inner worries; and the risk of it all being taken away from him because of a silly, childish mistake was all it took to send the poor boy into a state of panic. Please don’t leave him, he’d do anything to keep you there with him. Begging, gifting— you name it.

Arthur didn’t completely seem to realize his feelings at first, confusing it with romantic attraction for a little while— before quickly seeming to realize that it was all purely platonic. He did feel a bit protective of you, maybe even possessive...but it had nothing to do with romance, nor lust. It was just him wanting to have someone beside him, someone that he could call a friend. And someone that would never leave his side.

It won’t be hard to notice how...bad his communication skills were; with him often saying things that he didn’t really mean and slightly setting you off. Arthur is stubborn, so it may take some time (and slight teasing at how much he hesitated) for him to actually apologize. You’ll probably get used to it after a while, since he’s one big tsundere.

Saying this out loud was an absolute no-no for this man— but you being around Arthur was often enough to make him the slightest bit happier. It felt a bit lonely at times, especially with less and less people being around him these past few years. So having you as a friend almost felt like a breath of fresh air.

He’s very critical of those you choose to be around with, often analyzing even the smallest of things so he can determine if they’re actually worth being around you. Which more often than not ends up... not being the case. Arthur will tell you to stay away from them; saying that they were suspicious, and probably had something bad in mind. He’ll resort to isolating you if you were to disobey him, trying to take as much of your attention— and perhaps even kidnapping you if the extreme were to happen. You were his one and only best friend, and he had to make sure you were safe. Always.

Totally the big brother type...well, he usually proclaims himself as being one, so it isn’t that much of a surprise.

Francis will make sure to absolutely pamper you with his attention; hanging out with you, sending letters whenever he was too busy...and simply sending gifts from France. He simply couldn’t let you go off feeling unloved!

He adores talking about you; usually going off on a mindless ramble whenever someone even mentions your name, like a proud father showing off his child. Others will usually compare him to one due to how much he adores talking about you— or simply the way that he treats you. Which would quickly be disregarded with a: “oh, I’m no father! They’re just such a nice little friend to have around, who wouldn’t want to praise such a delicate person?”

On a second note....he actually did feel like a father figure to you. Huh.

Francis will often suggest helping you out with your love life, perhaps even gushing over cute guys together that you found on a random dating app— before quickly realizing that he didn’t really want this. Those silly moments were fun and all, but having you talk with someone that could just be out to use you made him a bit angry...and paranoid, mainly the latter. He will make sure that anyone that even so much dares to get close you first gets his approval first. The feeling of a broken heart was all too familiar to him, and he didn’t want you to experience such a thing.

This may result in him checking up on you...an awful lot, making sure that those around you were only the best of the best and wouldn’t end up being bad influence to you. Yes, he truly was like a father.

A sibling-like person in his life that he didn’t feel insecure against and acknowledged him as his own person? Fuck yes!!

Jokes aside— Matthew really does care deeply for you. Perhaps it was due to the Canadian barely having those that he could...truly call close friends, so having you around almost felt like a blessing. Unlike Francis, he won’t really show you off or talk about you much, especially around his brother. The American had already stolen enough from him, so why would he let something like that happen again?

He’s extremely wary of anyone that even so much tries to make a move on you. It’s just...you were someone that he held extremely dear; and having you potentially getting hurt due to some lowlife that managed to slip into your life would absolutely break his heart. Matthew didn’t want to fail in protecting you, he would never forgive himself if something like that were to happen.

Losing you is something that he wishes to avoid completely. He’ll even go as far as kidnapping you if it came down to it, Matthew just couldn’t see himself living happily without you by his side.

Yao likes cute things...and you’re a cute friend, so it’s a perfect match!

But seriously, he thinks that you’re absolutely adorable. Whether it be because of your personality— or your appearance, it really doesn’t end up mattering in the end. You’re his cute little friend, and that’s all that matters!

He’ll often treat you with more, yet gentler care than most of the others around him. He knew that you were well capable of taking care of yourself; but he just couldn’t help but see you as something fragile, something that he had to protect. So you can already imagine how frustrated he gets when someone treats you with even the slightest bit of disrespect— Yao will often confront them immediately, while you awkwardly have to sit back and watch it all. Almost feeling pity for the person that had to endure your friend’s seemingly never-ending complaints.

Oh, he probably doesn’t quite realize how he comes off as a father at times; seeing how much he’ll scold you for the smallest mistakes (while making sure to correct you of course!) and how he usually made decisions for you, making it hard to refuse his gestures due to his pushy nature. But it’ll probably become a normal thing for the two of you as time progresses, since it’s just...how Yao was, you assumed.

His controlling behavior will also reflect on how he treats your personal life. Yao is very selective of who he lets you be around with, so he’ll often look at your acquaintances and friends with a very critical eye, immediately expressing his distaste in them if they were even to do the smallest thing wrong. “Such a brute isn’t worth being around, (y/n).” Yao will warn you to stay away from them, but won’t bring it up any further if you decide to do what he says. If you don’t then...well, he had special friends to help him out with his dirtier work.

Yao might consider kidnapping you if this behavior keeps on repeating, but won’t feel compelled to actually do it unless something bad were to happen.

Ivan will always try his best to be there for you! While it most likely won’t quite work with him being a rather busy person; a country, nonetheless, but he’ll do his upmost best. It was extremely hard for Ivan to make friends that...weren’t scared of him or secretly disliked him, so having you was such a relief!

Being his only friend, he’ll make sure to be absolutely devoted to you— perhaps in a way that wasn’t too healthy in a friendship, and would often be looked down upon by those looking at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. But could one truly blame him? Ever since he was born it felt like everyone around him were either toying with him, or were utterly terrified of the boy expect for his two sisters. It was lonely...so it isn’t hard to imagine how overjoyed he was once having you in his life; someone that didn’t display the usual fright whenever he approached them, nor did you look like you were out to hurt him.

Ivan appreciated you a lot.

It wasn’t hard to imagine that you’d most likely become the target of a few other countries, your connection with Ivan wasn’t extremely hidden from the outside world... (from how much he’d senselessly mutter things about you when daydreaming, and the many times he stuck by your side) and so, others would take it to their advantage. Those like Alfred will probably try convince you to leave Ivan’s side, spewing terrifying stories of the man to try and stir up something inside of you so you could leave him. It was mainly for your own safety, yes. But it was also to make the Russian weaker. It was obvious that he was depending on you heavily, and losing you would...god forbid if that would ever happen. Ivan would completely lose himself, perhaps even snapping completely.

So don’t hesitate to tell Ivan if someone was bothering you! Ivan will make sure to get rid of the little parasite from your life in an instant, giving them a short warning whenever the two come across each other...and making sure that he got his point across! It’s better to ignore their sudden disappearance after that day, since someone like them wasn’t worth lingering in your mind.

#help me why do I always write america this dramatically #dilf France? 😲#CANADAS PART IS SO SHORT IM SORRYYYY #yandere #Yandere hetalia #hetalia x reader #Yandere allies #Yandere aph america #Yandere aph france #Yandere aph england #Yandere aph canada #Yandere aph China #yandere aph Russia #platonic yandere #platonic Yandere hetalia

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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 3 years

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So, this may sound weird, since I don't ship ZK, but I think the reason some dislike EIP is because they realize it was the first part of a busted enemies-to-lovers arc. EIP was part one, where Zuko and Katara see how others see them, and it weirds them out. Yet, Zuko insisted on sitting next to Katara and Katara pushes Aang away, suggesting there might be something there that they don't want to acknowledge. (1/3)

The first part of the finale was Part 2, where June reiterates the "Hey you're with your gf again!" Zuko and Katara deny it, but there likely should have been an undercurrent of 'Why do people think we're together? Do we act like it? Should we be? S/he is kind of cute.' During this time, Zuko defers to Katara and despite Toph likely being more helpful, asks Katara to be the one to take down Azula with him. (2/3)

Last part of the finale should have been the money shot, Zuko taking lightning for Katara, and in a parallel to CoD, Katara healing him. Dante Basco is right in that there probably should have been a kiss at that moment and the end scene of the gang at the Jasmine Dragon with Zuko and Katara shyly proclaiming their interest in each other. (3/4, sorry I have one more)

Again, ZK is not my ship, but EIP seemed to set up a ZK endgame that jumped the tracks at the end. By all the "rules" of a good narrative, Zuko and Katara should have ended up together, otherwise EIP should never have been countenanced or storyboarded. Full disclosure that I'm not a huge Kataang fan either, but Kataang was done a disservice by having EIP exist. It either should not have ever gotten written, or the ZK enemies-to-lovers arc should have been concluded. (end)

Disclaimer: I don’t care if someone ships Zvtara. Never have, never will. If the takeaway you (the general you, not anon specifically lol) get from this post is that Zvtara is “bad,” then I’m going to assume you didn’t actually read anything I wrote, because that is the farthest thing from my point here. Also, this post is strictly my personal response to these asks. I don’t expect everyone to read this and be like “YEAH” lmao. I am sure some people have different opinions, and that is a-okay!

In short, I think we will have to agree to disagree, anon.

Do some people consider EIP the beginning of a busted enemies-to-lovers arc? Of course they do, they’re “rabid zkers” who wear Zvtara shipping goggles 24/7 lmao. EIP couldn’t have been the beginning of an E-L arc because such an arc was never in the cards for them in the first place! Katara forgave Zuko in the previous episode. Trying to cram a romantic relationship into five episodes after months of hatred between Zuko and Katara would have been awful writing (and thus probably would have been a decision mercilessly criticized until the end of time, lmao). So it’s honestly better that Zvtara gets to spread its wings in fanon instead (much less pressure)! Also, realistically speaking, Katara and Zuko probably still had so many issues to work through in their friendship. Like yes, she forgave him and recognized he was trying to do better, but that doesn’t erase what Zuko has done to her and her friends. There is still plenty of forward progress they need to make before romance can even be considered between them. If that makes sense?

Also, let’s be real: EIP and bit with June afterwards were 100% ship bait. Just an attempt to add to the “drama” of who Katara would end up. A technique only effective while it was airing, for the record, because if you watch the show straight through, it becomes glaringly obvious that Zuko and Katara’s relationship - while gorgeous - was always meant to stay strictly platonic within the canon timeline.

Anyways. I’ll try to break down your ask one piece at a time!

“Zuko and Katara see how others see them, and it weirds them out”

Yes, they are definitely weirded out! The transcript says, “Zuko and Katara inch away from each other, slightly uncomfortable.” Which is just a longer way of describing that they were weirded out by the depiction of their relationship in EIP, lol. However, the play is not how others see them. The play is the Fire Nation’s imperialist propaganda, meant to demean the entire Gaang. I talk about in specifics how the entire Gaang is belittled here, but this is the key stuff I noted about Zuko and Katara:

it’s important to situate that and more importantly situate eip zuko and katara’s relationship within the context of the show. the fire nation is an imperialist country. the southern water tribe has suffered heavily beneath them. we know from “the headband” that fire nation individuals are fed pro-imperialistic propaganda from birth; that combined with zuko and azula’s degrading comment of “peasant” towards katara demonstrate very clearly how the fire nation views every other nation - put simply, they are superior and everyone else is inferior. that attitude is therefore reflected in the eip play:

- katara, an indigenous woman, is highly sexualized and portrayed as overly dramatic and tearful, because the fire nation objectifies women not of their own people and views them as less intelligent and less emotionally stable

- she is thus paired as having a “romance” with zuko in eip because naturally, via fire nation logic, zuko would be able to “score” an “easy” woman of one of the water tribes

- furthermore, the eip “romance” between zuko and katara emphasizes zuko’s position as a traitor to the fire nation; the implication is that as a traitor, he’d only be able to achieve a relationship with a “lesser” woman, e.g. a woman not of the fire nation

That is not how other people truly view Zuko and Katara’s relationship. That is how the Fire Nation depicts their relationship in order to degrade and dehumanize Zuko and Katara. To misinterpret that as “evidence” that Zuko and Katara should have been together romantically is… disturbing, in my opinion. (I really try to stay far away from zkers who use EIP as “proof” of supposed Zvtara interest in each other like honey that is imperialist propaganda please don’t 😭).

If you want to talk about how other people actually view Zuko and Katara’s relationship, look at the Gaang, who were around them most of all! They never tease the possibility of romance between their friends. Why? Because within canon, there wasn’t one. Simple!

“Zuko insisted on sitting next to Katara”

Nope! This is all the transcript says: “Zuko [Removing his hood.] Just sit next to me. What’s the big deal?” He doesn’t even mention Katara! Zuko is literally just like I’m already sitting. Why do I need to move? lmfao. It’s no thoughts head empty for our favorite firebender 😂

“Katara pushes Aang away”

I’m assuming this about the kiss, which I’m going to make a post about in the future because I am TIRED of the tomfoolery. Anyways, I’ll keep this brief - yes, she does push him away. She does not deny that she likes him. For Katara, the issue is the timing: “This isn’t the right time.” Both Katara and Aang know they like each other, plain and simple (which is why Aang doesn’t ask if he returns her feelings - he asks if they’d be together, because he knows their feelings are mutual). Katara pushes Aang away because, as she says, they’re in the middle of a war. She’s already seen Aang die once. He might die again. She doesn’t want that, of course, but it’s a reality Katara is forced to consider.

Anyways, her decision has nothing to do with Zuko. Lol.

“June reiterates the ‘Hey you’re with your gf again!’ Zuko and Katara deny it, but there likely should have been an undercurrent of ‘Why do people think we're together? Do we act like it? Should we be? S/he is kind of cute.’”

June’s assumption - especially because it is a repeat of a gag from earlier in the series, when it is incredibly concerning to assume a Fire Nation citizen would be with someone of the Water Tribes because of the war and its consequences - is comic relief. Not even good comic relief, lmao, because of the horrific implications I just mentioned that come with it, but it’s supposed to be comedy. There was no need of any “Zvtara” undercurrents there because a) Katara and Zuko had never expressed romantic interest in each other in the past, b) it wouldn’t track with the show’s narrative of Katara as Zuko’s surrogate sibling because of her position as Azula’s primary foil, and c) it just doesn’t make sense in general. Katara likes Aang. Zuko likes Mai. There was never a love triangle there, plain and simple. Fandom invented it.

And again, if you want to talk about how people actually see Zuko and Katara, don’t look at June, who has never had a proper conversation with either of them. As I said, the Gaang is a much better example, since they’re with the two 24/7. If they never tease Zuko and Katara about romance, why should we trust this random lady who doesn’t even know them?

“During this time, Zuko defers to Katara and despite Toph likely being more helpful, asks Katara to be the one to take down Azula with him.”

As I mentioned, Katara is Azula’s primary foil, so from a literary perspective she absolutely needed to be the one to take her down. Zuko needed to face Azula, but taking her down - again, from a literary pov - was always meant to be the end of Katara’s journey (she was the only person besides Aang who was ever a match for Azula, after all, as we see in CoD). Also, how would Toph be more helpful?? Not saying you’re wrong, btw, I just don’t understand what you mean. If I was Zuko, I also would have brought the waterbender that I’d already witnessed almost take down my sister already 😂. But even if Toph would have been more helpful, sometimes practicality must be sacrificed for a fulfilling narrative arc, lol!

“Last part of the finale should have been the money shot, Zuko taking lightning for Katara, and in a parallel to CoD, Katara healing him.”

Honestly, anon, this part of your ask baffles me 😂 I totally understand why rabid zkers might make this argument, but taking into account the rest of the show… It just doesn’t make sense? It’s been talked about a hundred times, but Zuko taking lightning out of romantic interest would ruin his redemption arc, regardless of if it was Katara or Aang or Sokka or anyone in the Gaang that he was taking it for, so that should be the end of discussion, full stop. I’ve talked about this issue here and here before, and someone else does a great job breaking it down in this post, too. But seriously. Zuko having romantic interest for anyone in the Gaang would ruin!! His!! Entire!! Arc!! I hate when people don’t understand that 😭 Zuko had to learn selflessness, to learn how to put others before himself, and to unlearn the imperialist rhetoric he’d been indoctrinated with from birth. Romantic interest during canon for Katara, Sokka, Aang, whomever, I don’t care, completely disregards all of his growth of breaking away from the Fire Nation. Plain and simple.

“Dante Basco is right in that there probably should have been a kiss at that moment and the end scene of the gang at the Jasmine Dragon with Zuko and Katara shyly proclaiming their interest in each other.”

I learned in a discord I’m in that Dante Basco apparently hadn’t seen the whole show until this year lmao. He didn’t know what energybending was nor did he know A:TLA ended with a Kataang kiss. Take that with a grain of salt, of course (you can watch the livestream this is revealed in here, and it was also mentioned in the recent StageIt A:TLA reunion), but I think it’s safe to conclude Dante Basco can be treated like any other Zvtara shipper. He likes the ship, which is totally cool, but he is not one of the writers, so his opinion meant naught in constructing the canon narrative.

ANYWAYS. My point is why would Zuko and Katara proclaim interest in each other if such interest would have to be crammed into five measly episodes?? Especially when four of those episodes were the finale?? That is awful writing, of course the A:TLA writers wouldn’t do that, lmao! They’d built up Kataang and Maiko already. Why scrap it and needlessly rush a romance from an excellent - and, important to note, a newly established - platonic bond? Nah.

“EIP seemed to set up a ZK endgame that jumped the tracks at the end. By all the ‘rules’ of a good narrative, Zuko and Katara should have ended up together”

Nope. Idk what rules people have been teaching you, anon, but they were lying!! You deserve better than people who would lie to you like that 😤. But yeah, narratively speaking, Katara and Zuko getting together would have made no sense. It would have undermined Zuko’s and Katara’s arcs, it would have completely disregarded Katara’s established feelings for Aang and Zuko’s for Mai, and again, it would have been totally rushed. Who wants that?? Normal people don’t, lmao. This might be hard to believe considering I occasionally rag about BNF zkers, but I actually have several friends who are Zvtara shippers! They agree that canon Zvtara would have made no sense, and that it’s better to play out a potential Zvtara dynamic in post-A:TLA fanon. I swear, it is only the rabid shippers who think Zvtara should have been canon, and trust me when I say no one should want to associate with them, lmao.

(And again, as I touched upon earlier, Zuko and Katara’s canon narrative relationship was surrogate siblings because of Katara’s position as Azula’s primary foil. The show wrapped their arc up perfectly! With a lovely bow and all. So no complaints from me!)

“otherwise EIP should never have been countenanced or storyboarded. Full disclosure that I’m not a huge Kataang fan either, but Kataang was done a disservice by having EIP exist”

What EIP did right:

- accurate (and horrifying) depiction of pro-imperialist propaganda

- recap of previous seasons

- a lesson on consent (Aang kisses Katara, it is depicted as wrong, and Aang reacts appropriately by admonishing himself and by giving Katara space afterwards. like, people call Aang an incel/entitled/whatever, BUT HE HAD THE PERFECT REACTION?? he literally backed off and never pressured her again. i would have killed for the guy who kept getting in my personal space during my junior year to have backed off when i told him to. spoiler alert: he didn’t)

- hit some good humor beats

What EIP did poorly:

- honestly it’s not very interesting just based on watching it (deconstructing it as propaganda gives it better depth), but that’s to be expected from filler

- stupid shipping drama

- not having an additional conversation/explicit apology between Aang and Katara

HOWEVER. This final point is actually very subjective. For one, A:TLA has a clear trend of not showing apologies on screen. Ex.: Katara doesn’t apologize to Sokka for what she said about their mother, Zuko doesn’t apologize for anything he did to the Gaang, Song, or really anyone (closest we get is “Hello, Zuko here” lmao), Ty Lee and Mai don’t apologize for putting the Kyoshi warriors in jail, etc. etc. So while an explicit apology would have been great, the lack of one admittedly tracks with the show’s pre-established standards. And two, while I of course would love a conversation between Aang and Katara (that’s literally MORE KATAANG. why would I refuse 😂), it isn’t… necessary, to be frank. Aang’s mistake is treated as such - kissing Katara was wrong and he should never have done that. Like I said, Aang acknowledges this error and gives Katara space afterwards. Thus, it is Katara who chooses to be with him when the war is over. She respects the time he gave her to come to a conclusion, and the choice she makes is that she loves him despite his poorly-timed kiss (I mean, she forgave Zuko for being complicit in Aang’s death. Katara is clearly a very forgiving person!). So like,, it gets to a point where if someone doesn’t recognize that, they’re probably the kind of weirdo who labels anything they don’t understand in a story as a plothole, lmao.

All of this is to say that EIP wasn’t a disservice to Kataang. It certainly could have been better, of course, and the kiss was obviously only put in to hype up drama (“will they, won’t they” blah blah blah), but overall it handled consent well for a kid’s show.

“It either should not have ever gotten written, or the ZK enemies-to-lovers arc should have been concluded.”

On the whole, EIP is absolutely an unnecessary episode, yeah. It was just a recap before the finale. The only important thing is its accurate depiction of pro-imperialist propaganda, but most people’s minds don’t immediately go to that, I’ll admit lmao 😂. And as I’ve already said, there was no Zvtara E-L arc - fandom completely made that up. Which is totally fine! That’s the point of transformative works. But they are still fanon. Plain and simple.

TL;DR - Zvtara was never in the cards for A:TLA. I wish rabid zkers would stop pretending it was and have fun in the sandbox like the rest of us 😭

And for the record, anon, you absolutely, 100% do not have to be convinced by any of this! It’s just my own, personal thoughts on the whole dealio. No worries either way!! 💛

#emphasis on my use of rabid zker. if you know you don't fall into that category then it's obviously not about you lol #(general you. not anon specifically)#amy answers #anon #amy analyzes

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handwrittenhello · 3 years

Text

where the road then takes me

Prompt: Law of Surprise Relationships: Geralt/Jaskier/Renfri, Geralt/Renfri, Geralt/Jaskier, Jaskier & Renfri Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: When Jaskier runs into a pack of wild dogs while searching for his lost hen, he's lucky that Geralt is nearby to save him. But he has nothing to repay the witcher with except the Law of Surprise, and who do they find upon returning to the farm, but Jaskier's sister, Renfri, back early from marauding?

For @witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo!

(ao3 link in reblog)

Jaskier, eighteen, had grand dreams.

They were little more than dreams, unfortunately, because seeing as how he and Renfri had grown up fending for themselves, stuck in a tiny village on the border of Creyden, he didn’t have much opportunity to go to school or learn to play the lute or anything, really, besides tending to the farm while Renfri got… freelance work elsewhere. That was all he cared to know about it—she would leave, and return home every couple of weeks with a decent bag of coin and blood-spattered clothes, which Jaskier would bitch about cleaning. She made enough for them to live, though not comfortably—Renfri had kept him fairly sheltered, but he knew that they were one of the poorer households in town.

Which was why Jaskier only dreamed of traveling the Continent, singing songs and weaving grand tales for the commonfolk. Instead, he was stuck here chasing down their old hen again, after the coop had blown down in the storm for the fourth time. Henrietta was a sneaky fucker, already gone by the time he woke up in the morning. He cursed but pulled on his boots and stumbled out into the cold morning air to look for her.

He cursed all the way to the edge of the forest, where she’d apparently disappeared into, judging by the tracks and the few scattered feathers he found. “Damned hen. Ought to just eat you and be done with it,” he muttered, pulling his cloak tighter around him before heading into the forest.

He followed her trail as the sun slowly rose, stopping when he heard barking in the distance. Fuck, he hoped that was the hunters’ dogs—he hadn’t thought to bring a knife to defend himself with. Whatever it was, he trudged onwards, because they couldn’t afford to lose a hen. Renfri would kill him if—when—she found out.

And then he heard it—familiar squawking, accompanied by those same barks, louder. He crept closer and saw exactly what he’d feared—a pack of wild dogs circled Henrietta, one of them darting in every so often to snap at her slashing claws. She was fending them off pretty handily, actually—Jaskier knew how vicious she could be firsthand.

But the dogs would no doubt attack in force soon, and then she’d have no chance. Without thinking, Jaskier picked up a rock and threw it at the nearest one, hitting it square in the nose. It recoiled and turned its attention away from Henrietta, which was exactly what he wanted.

Unfortunately, it turned its attention towards him, which was exactly what he didn’t want. “Oh, fuck,” he spat, and turned tail as the pack gave chase.

He dashed over tree roots and fallen logs, blind stupid terror coursing through his veins. He had no plan beyond don’t get caught—and he could only run for so long before tiring. He threw a glance backward and saw that they were gaining on him—and fast.

Not looking where was going, he was taken completely by surprise when he slammed into something hard, bouncing off it and landing with an oof on the mossy ground.

Dazed and still half-blind with fear, he didn’t even notice that he’d slammed into a person until they moved, stepping over him and taking on the dogs with an easy confidence, sword swinging with preternatural force.

Two swords, armor, incredible speed and fighting skills? As the man finished dispatching the last of the pack and turned around to reveal mutated cat eyes set in a heavily scarred face, Jaskier realized who the man was. He sucked in a sharp breath.

The witcher sheathed his sword, holding out a hand as if to calm Jaskier. “It’s alright,” he rumbled, voice full of gravel. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

Jaskier picked his jaw up from where it had dropped. “I know that,” he answered, getting to his feet and half-heartedly brushing the dirt off himself. “You’re a witcher.”

“I am. Usually fight more dangerous things than wild dogs, though. Also don’t usually see unaccompanied kids running around being chased by them.”

“I had to get their attention somehow. Henrietta was—wait, Henrietta!” Jaskier, remembered, abruptly spinning on his heel and dashing back to where the pack had cornered her.

“Wait!” the witcher called from behind him, but Jaskier paid him no heed.

He was gratified to see that while he’d been running for his life, Henrietta had seen fit to begin making herself a nest right in the same spot. “Oh, aren’t we cozy?” he grumbled, creeping closer in an attempt to grab her. He was almost upon her when the witcher ruined it, crashing through the underbrush behind him and sending her clucking away just as Jaskier pounced.

Jaskier sighed and turned to face the witcher, who at least had the good grace to look a little guilty. The guilt soon disappeared, though, when Jaskier rounded on him and began to lecture. “Now look what you’ve done. It’ll take me ages to catch her,” he complained, watching as the witcher’s eyes grew incredulous.

“You risked your life for that scrawny thing?” the witcher asked, amused disbelief coloring his tone.

“That scrawny thing is probably the most valuable thing we own, so yes,” Jaskier snapped. He couldn’t stand it when out-of-towners looked at him like that, like he was a stupid farm boy who knew little more than dirt and chickens. Which, to be fair, he didn’t, but it wasn’t as if he wanted it that way.

The witcher’s face cleared to something more akin to understanding—thank the gods it wasn’t pity. “Then I suppose I owe it to you to help catch her,” he said, and in the blink of an eye he’d snatched Henrietta up. Jaskier accepted her into his arms somewhat stunned.

“Thank you,” he eventually managed to stammer. The witcher said nothing in return, and they stood there for a long, awkward moment, before Jaskier realized he was probably waiting for something. “Oh! I don’t—I don’t have anything to pay you with…” he trailed off, recalling all the old adages, that witchers never worked for free. Fuck. Renfri wouldn’t be home for days if not weeks still, and the only coin he had he needed to save for the market day after tomorrow.

The witcher began to speak—what it was he was going to say, Jaskier didn’t know, but he interrupted as an idea struck him. “But I can offer you the Law of Surprise!” he suggested, recalling the ballads of children promised to witchmen. “We’ve a bitch due for pups soon—perhaps we’ll return home and you’ll find yourself with a companion to warm the long nights on the road!”

“Hmm,” the witcher replied, but it wasn’t a no, so he figured that it probably meant he wasn’t about to be forced into the witcher’s debt. Humming, he led the way back to the farmstead, the witcher a silent, hulking protector at his back.

Once they arrived, Jaskier was quick to secure Henrietta in the barn, where normally there would be pigs, but now, after sickness had taken their only sow, there was only dust and hay and the occasional mouse. He left Henrietta to her mouse hunting and led the witcher to the cottage, throwing open the door, excited to see what surprise he might find.

“Jaskier, why the fuck have you brought a witcher home?” asked Renfri, perched on the table and cleaning underneath her fingernails with one of her many knives.

Jaskier paled. “Renfri! You’re—you’re not meant to be home yet,” he choked out.

“What, you’re not happy to see me?” she drawled, eyebrows knitting together. Jaskier, helpless, threw a glance back at the witcher, who was wearing a thunderous expression. Shit.

“I—not in this case, no,” Jaskier said tersely. “Fuck.”

“Some welcome,” she said faux-calmly, hopping down off the table. Jaskier recognized the tenseness in her form that spoke of a predator preparing to pounce. Sure enough, she lunged a moment later, her knife held a half-inch away from the witcher’s throat. Jaskier yelped. “Did he hurt you, Julek?” she asked, not taking her eyes off the witcher’s face.

“No, nothing of the sort, now put that down,” Jaskier hissed, tugging ineffectually at her arm. “He saved me, in fact, and…”

“And?” Renfri asked lowly.

“…and I may have promised him the Law of Surprise in return,” Jaskier finished all in a rush, wincing. “I swear, Ren, if I’d known…”

“That’s the thing about surprises,” the witcher interjected. “But you needn’t worry. I have no plans to claim your—sister?” Jaskier nodded. “As I said before, I need no payment.”

Renfri lowered her knife, and Jaskier breathed a bit easier for it. Renfri was a formidable fighter, but Jaskier doubted even her strength against a witcher. If a fight had broken out, he’d have had to—well, not help, because he was rather useless in a fight, but it was the principle of the matter.

“I suppose I could do worse for myself,” Renfri mused, looking Geralt over critically.

“Wait you’re—Renfri, he said he wouldn’t claim you, you don’t have to.”

“And what if I want to?” Renfri answered. “He seems a decent sort. And not too hard on the eyes, either.”

The witcher, looking uncomfortable, stood there and said nothing.

Jaskier threw his hands up. “You’re insane. And you!” he said, turning to the witcher. “Are you agreeing to this?”

“The life of a witcher isn’t well suited to… companionship,” the witcher replied, face twisted. “Walking the Path is difficult.”

“And if I promise that I can handle myself?” Renfri asked, twirling her knife in one of the many tricks she was proud of. “I’m no stranger to the road. It’s Jaskier you’d have to watch out for.”

“I resent that,” Jaskier said mildly, mostly out of principle. But the prospect was too exciting to dwell on it for long—was Renfri truly proposing that they set out with a witcher? “Ren, do you mean it?”

“If your witcher is fine with it, then I don’t see why not,” she replied. “What do you say, witcher?”

“Geralt,” the witcher corrected her. “If we’re to travel together, you ought to at least know my name.”

“Geralt,” Jaskier repeated. It rolled off the tongue wonderfully. “Oh, this is so exciting! I’m going to write so many songs, just wait,” he gushed. “The Witcher and the Shrike—I can hear it now.”

Renfri pulled him out of his thoughts with a cuff to the shoulder. “Ow,” he said mildly. “Wait—you are planning on sharing, right?” he interjected. “Because, I mean, look at him.”

“Am I a toy to be shared among siblings?” Geralt asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that a no, you don’t want to sleep with both of us? Because I’ll respect that, I will, but also, not to objectify you or whatever, but dear gods please, I think my poor heart might break if I didn’t get to fuck you at least once.”

“Jaskier! Leave my Husband Surprise alone,” Renfri said, shoving him away. “Go get packed. Essentials only!”

“Alright, alright, I’m going,” Jaskier placated, raising his hands in surrender. “Don’t get up to anything while I’m gone, you lovebirds.”

As he left, Geralt turned to Renfri. “Is he always like this?”

“Yeah, he’s chronically stupid. Gets it from our father.”

“Remind me again why I agreed to this?”

“Don’t know, but it’s too late now. You’re stuck with us, witcher,” Renfri replied, looping an arm around Geralt’s.

Geralt made a show of sighing, but in truth, he wasn’t annoyed as all that. At least it would make life more interesting.

#the witcher #witcher fanfiction #geraskier #geralt/renfri #geralt/jaskier/renfri #geralt/jaskier #witcher rarepair summer bingo #wrsb #geralt #renfri #jaskier

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cinderelliee · 3 years

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My final character opinions before Chain of Iron...

Just finished my reread of Chain of Gold ahead of Tuesday’s release!!! I am posting my thoughts/opinions of the main cast so that after Chain of Iron I can see how or if my feelings change. Spoilers: most of my opinions are going to be that I don’t know enough about them lmao. I love the big cast of characters, but that unfortunately also means less time is spent on each one.

Disclaimer: I know that I love some characters that people hate and vice versa. My intention is not to start anything, but more to be more open about what I think about the characters. It’s okay to disagree and just because I say I don’t like a character, it does not mean I believe they are badly written...

Alastair Carstairs:

One of my favorites of the series, and possibly TSC as a whole (let’s see how the series goes first). I love him so much and I can’t wait to see how his story goes. I love that he keeps everyone at arms length and pushes everyone away, but he would also go to any length for the people he loves. I think he has a gift of being able to see people as they are, and notice things others don’t. Probably why he was the one, not Cordelia, who saw what was wrong with his father and kept it from his sister. I’m sure he used to look up to his father like Cordelia did, but instead suffered great disappointment when he learned the truth. And then when he went to the academy, finally having some time away from it, all he found was more disappointment. He did what he thought he had to to survive. And I think along the way he sort of lost himself.

I do think Alastair should make amends with the Merry Theives, but less for their sake and more for his own. I think his journey is more about finding and forgiving himself. There are other ways to live and survive than hurting anyone who gets too close to you. I think he started that journey in Chain of Gold when he dyed his hair back to black and broke up with Charles. But fixing yourself is easier said than done, it’s not one choice, but something that you strive for everyday. His journey actually reminds me a lot of Matthew’s; they have a lot in common and I think their paths will parallel each other’s. I also think Thomas will be a catalyst for Alastair’s growth, as well as a helping hand.

I can’t wait to see his dynamic with the characters this next book as he tries to return to his true self. It’ll be interesting to see how his relationship with Elias plays out too.

Anna Lightwood:

I really like Anna so far. I think she’s very unique and exciting. I love how dedicated she is to being true to herself, but at the same time cares deeply about her loved ones and shows it. Often times I feel like characters like her often act like they’re above showing affection towards their family, so I was pleasantly surprised when she wasn’t. This is probably because her parents love and support her, so she never had to scorn familial love.

Romantic love is a different thing. Now, my two pieces about her life style is: why don’t we all just have a good time. I know there’s some people who didn’t like that she called her many partners ‘conquests’ and that she had a little black book. But I didn’t really see that criticism until recently and I’m confused as to what people thought Anna was doing? Would they rather her not keep track and forget them all? It’s perfectly healthy to explore your sexuality as long as you aren’t harming yourself or others. I know Anna is seen as older, but she is still only 19 (I think? 20 at most right?). She’s still on her journey to figuring out who she is. She is a bit self-centered and definitely privileged (see her relationship with Ariadne), but if she didn’t have flaws there would be nowhere for her to grow from. I highly doubt Anna will be living her seductress lifestyle by the end of the series

Personally, I cannot wait to see how her relationship with Ariadne plays out. Hopefully Anna will have some healthy confrontation with how she reacted to her heartbreak and why. Anyway, Anna is definitely one of my favorites.

Ariadne Bridgestock:

She seems like an interesting character, and I like how she’s not afraid to go after what she wants. I’d like to know a little more about her past and motivations. I also think she’s in a really difficult situation with her family and who she is/wants to be. I think she made a really understandable choice when she engaged Charles, and I support her journey in winning Anna back (I don’t not agree with the people who judged her for not backing off from Anna. She is fighting for who she loves and we are all fools in love). I think she has a lot of potential, but I can’t quite say that I like her yet since she’s probably the character we know the least about.

Charles Fairchild:

No opinion. I don’t love or hate him. No feelings whatsoever. The only thing I care about is the possible drama he will cause for Alastair and Thomas or the Clave as a whole lmao

Christopher Lightwood:

This boy is great! I have no complaints about him at all. He is precious. Honestly I’d just like to see more from him! His lines always make me chuckle. Also I’m not convinced that he would be able to create a antidote before the Silent Brothers would’ve been able to. But whatever, it’s just a story so who cares.

Cordelia Carstairs:

I just think she’s really neat. She is a fantastic protagonist and definitely on her way to becoming my favorite TSC lead, other than Tessa, obviously. I love her strength, kindness, relentless resilience, and how headstrong she is. I think it’s hilarious how straightforward she is. There’s so many scenes where she just says exactly what she’s thinking and just surprises everyone around her because they underestimated her or never expected her to so forcefully share her opinions. I adore her relationships with everyone. Her and Lucie are adorable. Her relationship with Alastair is so sweet and watching them rebuild their relationship was one of my favorite parts of the book, and definitely something I’m looking forward to. Matthew and Cordelia’s relationship is one of my favorites from the book; I love how they challenge and surprise each other (I think they could learn a lot from each other). Her interactions with the Merry Theives in general are perfect.

One thing I will say is there just wasn’t enough of her. I was very surprised when I read it that James and her were basically co-protagonists. I didn’t expect James to have such a prominent role, usually the split between the girl and boy lead is 60/40 at most, but this felt more like a 50/50 split. I just would’ve prefered more from Cordelia I guess, but that’s just me.

Grace Blackthorn:

So at first I was neutral towards Grace. I didn’t care about her at all, but after I came online and saw how many people hated her and acted like her was a villain, I started liking her more. She obviously is a victim of her mother’s manipulation and she doesn’t want to do what she’s doing to James. It’s clear to me that she is doing what she can to survive and to help her brother, the only person she truly cares about. Since she is also one of the few characters that it’s unclear where her story is going to end up, I am curious to see how her story goes.

I know there’s some people who just wanted her to be a villain, and I totally get that. But I feel like if she was, we would get a less complex character. Cassie’s villains, with the exception of Jonathan perhaps, tend to be one dimensional (which is fine because that’s not the reason I read her books anyways!). I also don’t really think she needs much of a redemption arc because she’s just trying to survive.

James Herondale:

This is where I’m going to get a little unpopular. I don’t love James, BUT I don’t hate him either. I am just not interested in where his story goes at all. I think I get what Cassie’s goal was with his character. He doesn’t have Will and Jace’s dark past and he’s not a morally grey bad boy like Julian. James is caring and sweet and noble and has a good family and I can totally see why people like him. For me, he still fills the same exact role that I’ve seen, not just from Cassie, but other YA books as well, and I’m just tired of it. His motivations are doing whatever he can to protect his loved ones and doing things because they are the right thing to do. He is willing to lay down his life for the greater good. I just can’t see anything about him that feels new. The only times I’ve felt anything towards him is when Jem, Cordelia, or Matthew were making me feel something for him.

It could be because I don’t really care for Cassie’s plots and his arc is so heavily involved with all the Prince of Hell stuff. And the bracelet just pisses me off in a bad way. The solution to it is so simple that it just frustrates me, but does not intrigue me at all. I will say I like him better with the bracelet off so I’m hoping in stays off this next book so I can enjoy his POV a little more. I really want to like him, but I just don’t connect with him at all. I wish Cassie had come up with something other than the bracelet as well.

Jesse Blackthorn:

Imma be honest: at the moment I don’t really care about Jesse either. I don’t know enough about him. But it seems like we’re gonna get more from him this next book so I’m reserving my judgement until then. In Chain of Gold I noticed most of his scenes were pretty expository or he was passing along information, but we never really got to know much about him. Hopefully I will like him in Chain of Iron though!

Lucie Herondale:

I really like Lucie so far! My favorite part about her is that she is so practical, but also able to loose herself in whimsical fantasies. She is totally 100% Tessa and Will’s child!! I don’t have much to say other than I love what I’ve gotten from her so far, but I just need a little bit more to connect with her. I’m hoping Chain of Iron really explores her darker side and her motivations. I kinda have a feeling this next book will either make or break my opinion of her.

Matthew Fairchild:

Anyone who has been following me for a while now could probably guess that Matthew is my favorite from TLH. I don’t know what it says about me, but I relate to him on a personal level. Although I haven’t made the same mistakes he has, (thank heavens for that!) I do know how he feels. I do know what it’s like to have something happen, that’s completely your fault, and have it change your life into something completely different than you thought it would be. I have made a lot of posts about him so if you want more in depth details, they are on my blog.

I’m just going to say that, very similar to Alastair, I think that Matthew has a lot of amends to make, to everyone in his life. And his journey is what I look forward to the most. He’s made a lot of mistakes, huge ones, and I know it’ll probably get worse before it gets better. But I hope his story isn’t going to be as sad as everyone believes, (I don’t think it will be, since a vast majority of Cassie’s characters eventually get happen endings) it just means a lot to me that his character doesn’t end up a tragedy. Like I said before his relationship with Cordelia is something I am really looking forward to. And his relationship with his family as well.

I love him your honor. *if I loved him less I may have been able to talk about him more*

Thomas Lightwood:

I really like Thomas!!! I favorite thing about him is that he can so easily see the beautiful and worth in everyone and everything (which makes him perfect for Alastair!). I love how gentle and kind he is. So far what I have seen from him has been so great. And how he was able to carrying on despite his sister’s death and then Christopher’s illness was really admirable. But I’m going to say for him as I’ve said for most: I want to see more from him!!! I have faith that his and Alastair’s relationship with be the best part of the book, so I have high hopes!

Okay!!! I think that’s everyone!! Let me know what you think?? Do you agree or disagree! I would love to get into some discussions with people to pass the time until the release!! If anyone wants to make their own post, please tag me!! I’d love to see!!! Do you think I have enough ‘!!!!!!!!!’?

#Anna Lightwood #ariadne bridgestock #Charles fairchild #Matthew Fairchild #cordelia carstairs #alastair carstairs #James herondale #Christopher Lightwood #Thomas Lightwood #Grace blackthorn #Jesse blackthorn #Lucie Herondale #chain of gold #chain of iron #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #cassandra clare

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pevensiesimagines · 4 years

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Requested by @lespaceboi

‘The attack is extremely risky, my King. If it wasn’t your plan I would even call it stupid. You’re risking more than there is to gain.’

The words were harsh but you were never good at hiding what you thought nor at being obedient.

‘You’re forgetting who you’re talking to.’ He looked at you sternly, his hands gripping the end of the wooden table covered with maps.

There was a heavy pause. You could hear the wind playing in the leaves of trees surrounding your group. You had no right to criticize his opinions and plans, and yet despite that, despite the opposition you always presented, he always cared about what you think. Or at least cared enough to argue about it with you, trying to change your mind, make you understand his. And although you more often argued than spoke, he made you one of few soldiers who could join the military council meetings.

‘They tortured the land for too long. They killed to many Narnians. There are my people locked away in their prisons and I am not willing to let them rot and die thinking their king abandoned them.’

‘I am not asking you to. I’m asking you to rethink the plan.’ You looked into his eyes and you knew he cared. Despite arguing so often, you cared for him. Truly. You understood why he wanted to attack this way. You understood why this was so important to him. But what you didn’t yet grasp was the responsibility resting on his shoulders. Every minute, every hesitation, every decision - they all could cost lives. Lives of the people who loved him.

‘Think again what you’re asking me for and don’t ask again. If you don’t trust me, don’t go.’ He said it almost roughly but his eyes were tired. He was tired. And you realized what this tiredness could cost him. He turned around about to walk away, the tension disappearing, the rest of the council finally filling the air with whispers as they started to pack their things. But you just couldn’t let it go.

‘King Peter.’

He stopped but did not turn around.

‘At least delay the attack by one day and rest.’

‘I said my last word.’

‘You need rest, my King. Let me prove it to you.’

You heard him sigh as he turned around to face you. ‘Everyone, please leave.’

That would make you worried if you didn’t know him. But you did.

‘You can’t do that to me in front of the council. You are a soldier. I am a King. I can’t let you criticize my every move and then talk back to me like that.’

‘I’m sorry. But I can’t let you do this. Peter, the plan is too risky and you’re tired!’ you saw him shift when you spoke his name. ‘You’re barely standing. Let yourself rest. Attack tomorrow.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Fight with me then.’ You drew your sword. ‘A small duel. A warm-up if you will.’

‘You’re being ridiculous’ He replied but drew Rhindon and stood in front of you, ready for the fight.

You attacked, swiftly, without much force behind it. He parried it quite easily. But as your swords clashed and met time after time, he became slower and less precise, trying to compensate for that with strength. He was a superior swordsman, no doubt. But there is only so much one can do when they haven’t slept nor rested. Soon you threw him out of balance and he landed on his back. You on top of him, sword resting against his chest.

‘You fell.’ You were breathing heavily, your faces only inches away. You could see that hurt and shame flashed in his eyes for a second, and then he gave up with a small smile.

‘Can I kiss you?’ he asked, and you wondered which one of you was truly caught off guard today. Your breath got stuck in your throat.

‘I- Yes.’ you nodded. And he did.

#peter pevensie #peter #peter imagine #peter headcanons #peter pevensie x reader #narnia #chronicles of narnia #The Chronicles of Narnia #soldier #army #x reader #narnia imagines #fandom imagines #narnia imagine

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medeafive · 3 years

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Blood and Stone - 29

Masterpost

Prague has never smelled so much of vampires. It’s in every street, behind every corner, and she follows the smell as she speeds on her motorcycle towards the screams, through the cold night air. She smells blood, too, human and vampire, though the screams are harder to distinguish. They’re coming closer, right side of the street, and when she sees the broken windows and the glass on the street, she knows exactly where to go.

The strong wooden door has been kicked down with more than human force and she heads straight for the stairs, gun drawn. The screaming has stopped but the smell of blood intensifies with every step. The doors on the second floor are all barred and intact, though heavily scratched, so she heads up one more. The door on the left is ripped to pieces, blood splattered into the hallway. She presses against the wall, keeping her breathing down, peeking in.

There’s a severed arm in the hallway but worse, she hears faint breathing. Oh no. Not again. Steps. She braces herself-

The vampire tries to sink his fangs into her arm and she slashes his face with her knife, he screeches and presses his hands to the graying skin and she takes the opportunity to kick him in the chest, sending him flying down the hallway with a cracking sound, hitting the floor hard. His fangs are bloody, his eyes very dark, not a fledgling anymore. His clothes are shredded, dirty, barely covering the pale white skin. He’s probably one of those lone vampires roaming the countryside, hiding from detection by Schmidt’s goons, hoping to make it long enough on his own to be considered worthy, taking the lucky opportunity of a siege to ensure his own survival and drink as much blood on the way as he can. But now, he’s run into her.

She jumps at him as he scrambles up, sinking the knife into his shoulder, twisting it as he shrieks, she knocks out his right fang. His claws cut through the air and she has to retreat, shield her face. He hisses at her with his bloody fangs and attacks her. She rolls out underneath him, slashing his calf, he howls and drops to one knee, she grabs his head from behind and slashes his throat quickly but not deep enough, he pulls her to the floor with him, her armor creaks miserably under his claws but she delivers a clean uppercut, punches out the second fang and blocks his jaw while his claws try to break through her breast plate, she gets her hands on his knife and stabs him under the chin. It's not silver but it gives her enough time to grab her own knife from the floor, she bats his arms away, gets on top of him and drives it through his chest until the tip of the blade sinks into the wooden floor.

She remembers how darkness crept into Pierce's eyes when he died, flooding the white eyes with dark blood, but Pierce was an old vampire, not like this one. This one, his eyes are already dark, you'd never see it. Pierce is the only vampire she has killed whose eyes weren't red or black.

Okay. Now to the less pretty part.

She still hears the faint breathing. She already knew it wasn't the now dead vampire but the confirmation still hits her uncomfortably. She gets up and passes down the hallway into the apartment.

The crumpled body with the ripped off arm is in the living room, sucked almost entirely dry, definitely not breathing anymore. Faint whimpers coming from what must be the bedroom. Natasha heads there, knife gripped tight, controlling her breathing.

The woman is on the bedroom floor, bleeding from scratches on her arms, thighs and chest, trembling and whimpering, trying to crawl somewhere and just rolling in on herself. She has all the signs, the shaking, the sweating, the blown and twitching pupils. She smells like it, too. Natasha crouches down, carefully turning her head to bare the side of her neck. The woman startles but she can't really see, eyes darting around unfocused, fingers closing around thin air. Natasha stays back as good as she can, sweeping the hair back. The woman chokes with a sob. She must be in a lot of pain. The red bite mark on her neck is unmistakable.

"Please," the woman whispers, blindly flailing around without any force. "Please."

"I'm sorry," Natasha replies. She doesn't feel any hate anymore, it's just what it is, but if she lets this woman turn, she'll rip apart the people downstairs in a few hours. It's not her fault. It just has to be done.

"No!" the woman shrieks. "No, please, don't-"

The silver knife sinks into her chest, piercing her heart, and the begging stops, her arms drop heavily on the floor, empty eyes staring towards the ceiling. Natasha takes a deep breath, twisting the knife, then grabs the woman's head by her hair and cuts her head off with one vampire blood-fueled swing.

Now it's truly quiet. Lots of blood. The window is broken, cold December air streaming in. Maybe the smell will attract more vampires, scavengers, but she can't stick around when there are so many more places like this, so many more helpless victims, so many more vampires. She surveys the apartment once more, finding no survivors, retrieves her gun and then jumps through the window, three floors down, rolling through the impact, the armor protecting her from the glass shards, and before she knows it, she's back on the motorcycle, speeding towards the next unspeakable horror.

It's been a week. It had started slowly, more and more vampires, more and more attacks, and now every fucking night is a nightmare. A real bloodbath. Every vampire on their own is easy to kill, especially now that the vampire strength still hasn't worn off, but for every single one she kills, there are a dozen more the next night. A steady stream that only ever increases.

She's so in thought the falling thing almost hits her, throws her off the bike, but she zips out just barely. When she's steady enough to look up, she sees a window close on the fourth floor, wooden shutters slamming. Oh yeah. Driving through the city at night murdering people, very popular. That's also part of it.

She drives on anyway, catching a whiff of something around Nové Malešice and following it West. The area around the cemetery is deserted, as always, a popular superstition, so she turns South, stopping near the old prison when the smell becomes intense. A figure emerges from the shadows as she climbs off the bike. Sure, it has a few scratches from when she crashed into a bunch of vampires but it's not like she ruined it, no matter what Fury complains about. It's Sam.

He nods towards her blood covered armor and she shrugs, checking that her gun is still there. "Don't ask."

He shakes his head, looking up towards a dark window. "It's a group, five of them. Thought I'd better wait for backup."

"My phone broke two fights ago," she replies. "Are they in there?"

"Made sure they wouldn't leave," Sam confirms. "Actually, I was waiting for your friend but it looks like he's still busy."

It's beginning to annoy her she had a fucking baby with that guy and they still can't bring themselves to call him anything else than your friend. Nobody has mentioned the baby either, not even once, and she can't really complain about that but it still irks her. All the chiding looks, the quiet judgment, the barely hidden disgust. First, she had the benefit of the doubt when they didn't know how intimate she and James were, and then she was pregnant and dying and wasn't going to get too much criticism, or maybe she just wasn't well enough to notice, but now she has neither and she's just waiting until someone dares say something instead of it being clear on their faces, in their eyes.

"Don't need him," she replies. "Let's go."

It's actually less messy than the previous fight. Sam shoots two before the vampires notice them and she gets the jump on another. Most of all, she doesn't have to kill humans again. It's not a difficult fight, at least for two people.

She takes the moment outside for a breather, staring at the cloudy sky as she grips the bloody jagged knife. This is only going to get worse. More vampires streaming in than they can kill. And then the black cloaks. Well, the ones who aren't already here. Sam joins her. "You okay?"

She nods. She's not even tired. Just weary. "Where are we going next?"

Sam checks his phone. "I don't know. Looks like your friend is still busy."

"Don't call him that," she snaps, regretting it instantly.

"What am I supposed to call him?" Sam asks calmly. "Your boyfriend?"

She doesn't reply. This is all stupid, she knows it. It felt like it would all be okay once she survived the pregnancy but it's the opposite, now she has to deal with the monster baby and the vampire invasion and her own relationship to a fucking vampire, none of it having gotten any easier. Chiding Sam for politely ignoring the nature of her relationship with James doesn't help a thing.

"Look, I know you like him, seriously," Sam adds. "He likes you, too. And I don't blame you for that or anything but- don't you ever think it's wrong ?"

It's never felt that way. But who is she to tell? Her morals are questionable at best. She knows what she's done. She also knows that she has already killed two people tonight, two humans on the verge of turning, and meanwhile she's running around still high on vampire blood and doesn't even really feel bad about it, if she's honest. At least not as bad as she should. Like she would still know what's right or wrong.

"Killing vampires is what feels right, doesn't it?" Sam asks. "Like tonight. You didn't stop for a second to think about whether one of them has feelings, you instantly knew they're bloodsucking monsters and you killed them. Seeing your- your friend's claws on your skin, that felt revoltingly wrong."

She only really has one reply, one counter argument, and she hadn't wanted to use it because it'll only make it worse but now, it slips out. "You're just jealous."

"I'm not jealous and you know that," Sam swats away easily. "I just can't help the feeling that one day, he's going to rip you to pieces. Maybe it'll be Schmidt's mind control, maybe it'll be his true nature coming through, maybe it'll just be an accident. Doesn't really make a difference. Actually, you're lucky if Schmidt kills him before it comes to that."

She shudders. Yes, she knows the prospects are grim. She knows James is still a vampire, still wants to drink her blood, she's dancing on knife's edge and hoping he miraculously has the self-control not to do it. Sam is right, he could slip at any moment, even by accident. She just can't bring herself to get off the knife. "What am I supposed to do? Dump him?"

Sam sighs. "Bobbi says he- he bit you."

She groans loudly. So much for secrets. "Not like that, it wasn't- I'm not turning-"

"I know," Sam interrupts. "I know. But don't tempt him. Don't let him get too relaxed, too close with you."

Dropping into American euphemisms again. "I'm not sleeping with him anymore, if that's what you're asking."

"Good." Sam rubs his nose. "Just, he's in your room a lot."

He doesn't really believe her. And he's not completely wrong, maybe she would sleep with James again if he wasn't- profoundly not in control of his body. Which is exactly Sam's point. "He sleeps in the chair. Sleeps a lot, actually."

"I mean, it's your business," Sam retreats. "But that's a dangerous game you're playing."

"Yeah, because everything else we do is so fucking safe," she returns. "Come on, let's go to Malá Strana, there must be more than enough vampires around."

The castle side of the river is even worse. She hardly gets to get on her bike between fights, between shooting and stabbing and beheading. Vampires everywhere. She excels at fighting, of course, so it's not all that hard on her. Her constitution doesn't fail her even once. Compared to everything else she put her body through, this is easy.

She kills some and she saves some. Humans, that is. She kills every single vampire she comes across. For the humans, it's often too late.

She has just shot three vampires when she smells blood in the dark back room, human blood. More vampire blood, too. She takes a deep breath and kicks the barred door down.

There are vampire corpses inside, their mangled composition making it impossible to tell their number at first glance. The human smell is stronger. She's about to go through the next door when a man appears, arm wrapped in a fresh bandage, bleeding. Human. He still smells human. He looks wary when he sees her but he doesn't hide. "You weren't bitten," she states.

The man shakes his head. He's young, actually, though she couldn't tell at first. This war ages all of them. "I fought against them. The rest… it was a blur, and then they were dead."

He smells human so she'll believe him. By now, she knows what they smell like when they're about to turn. "I shot those outside. You should patch that up better or the smell will attract more."

The man bites his lip. "You should know- I saw it outside. It had a black cloak."

That could have been just James. Or it could be the Viper already, in which case they're fucked. "Was it a man?"

"Yes." The man shakes his head. "I think. No, I'm certain."

"What did he look like?" she asks. Maybe it's that Karpov guy from Russia. Or the Strucker guy from Germany. Probably not Schmidt himself, the red skin would be too recognizable.

"Dark hair," the man says. "Long. I mean, for a man."

Yep, that's her guy. "Don't worry about that one. I know him."

"You know him?" the man repeats, horrified.

"He didn't kill you, did he?" she asks back. "And you smell like a fucking buffet. Really, you should patch that up better."

The man recoils from her. "Get away from me. You- you monster ."

"Learn to kill your own fucking vampires," she returns. "Without spreading your bloody smell all over the street."

"Wow," James remarks. "You smell like a thousand deaths."

Yeah, she has all sorts of vampire blood all over. Some human, too, even though she tried to avoid it. "More like a hundred. You should get back to the tower, sun's coming up."

James grins, stepping into her space, looking for her own smell in the puddle. Or maybe he's trying to keep the different smells apart. "You know I like to live dangerously."

He smells of vampire blood, too, though it seems to have gotten less messy for him. "Not much living if you burn to a crisp."

"Make sure Steve gets home safely," he says. "Haven't seen him for a while."

She snorts, getting on her toes. "Yeah, sure. Big muscle man needs to be walked home."

"Thanks," he replies unironically. "Letting him run around just feels unresponsible."

"Yeah, yeah." She kisses his cold cheek. "Get inside already, I'm not nursing you back to health again."

He snorts. "I'll be fine, I promise. Okay, I'll see you at the Tower, or are you doing the daytime raids?"

Fury's idea, but they haven't tried it yet. She sighs, stepping back. "Nah. Should probably sleep."

"Yeah, you should," he agrees, already eyeing the next roof. "Okay. Take care. Don't forget Steve."

Steve with the good smell is starting to annoy her. James' cloak swooshes and he's up on the roof, throwing her a last look before jumping into the cold night air, disappearing.

Okay. She really should get Steve home, everything else would be petty. Clint is waiting down the street, also looking quite annoyed, and disgusted. She snorts, heading towards him. "Shut the fuck up."

"Didn't say anything," Clint returns, checking dents on his bow.

"Your face says it all," she replies, trying to remember where she last left the motorcycle. "Do you know where that Steve guy is?"

"It's like watching you cuddle a tiger," Clint states, ignoring the question. "Sure, you'll say he hasn't eaten anyone for a while and he's really nice or whatever but it's still a fucking tiger. One day, without warning, without reason, it'll rip your fucking face off."

"Spare me your circus tales," she replies. "At least the tiger is really fucking good at hunting vampires."

"No reason to cuddle him," Clint counters. "And to answer your question, no, I have no idea where Golden Boy is."

She'll have to track down his smell then. "I'm not asking you to like it. Actually, someone threw something at me tonight. Out of a window, while I was driving down the street."

"A rock?" Clint asks.

"I don't know what it was, didn't stop," she replies. "Do you ever think… if this ever ends, we're fucking done? Absolutely useless and widely despised?"

"It won't end, though," Clint returns. "But don't worry about it, we'll all be dead in the next week or two."

Natasha snorts. "Well, in that case, might as well go cuddle my tiger."

#blood and stone #buckynat #vampire au #natasha romanoff #black widow #bucky barnes #winter soldier #sam wilson #clint barton #fanfic #my writing

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testicularmanslaughtrr · 3 years

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I kind of just want to...babble so pardon me I don’t really want to *talk* ironically given the subject matter I just want to confess myself and here seems like a good place for it so forgive me

Dunno why I’m apologzing, I know it’s my tumblr just a force of habit

My emotions have been so strange lately. It was weird having to tell my new...prescriber... counselor person that it’s hard to officially say my “mood” because I’m never in one constant state. One second I’m as close to fine as I can actively describe The next I am a sobbing panicking mess on the floor And another 5 seconds later I either feel nothing or I am laughing and having a good time. It’s a whirlwind and it’s confusing and honestly it has been making me very self conscious.

I suppose that goes hand in hand with many of my other fears and laments.

Lately I have felt very lonely. A feeling I haven’t deemed...allowed since I have somewhat isolated myself. The fear of being seen as a hypocrite is very real. I don’t want to be in a groupchat right now, not even one I created because it just made that lonely and unwanted feeling all the more unbearable. There’s no worse feeling than being miserable at a party, and that was the vibe. Surrounded by people I do ultimately like but Either my brain says it’s not the right interaction and or I just Want to leave the party. There’s other reasons sure, but I don’t want to think about that.

There’s this pit, this desire for interaction that I can’t fulfill and it’s troubling. I want to talk about my problems, I’ve been openly criticized about opening up but...Professional help so limited and among those I care about I don’t feel I have a place for that. I’m an overwhelming presence. I know this about myself, as much as people may try and soothe those anxieties I know I am. I have many many deep rooted issues I need to sort out, I am drowned nearly every day in my misery and my paranoia. None of these are easy to deal with Even less so to help carry. All those I trust with my more fragile tendencies are also those who suffer greatly. People I’ve promised I wouldn’t overburden with my struggles, people who I don’t *want* to constantly have to lean on People who have already told me they can’t handle my weight I don’t blame any of them for this, I blame myself mainly. No one should have to suffer my pain with me. Say what you want about “support groups” but How am I supposed to not feel guilty when I share my pain and have to see the tired look on someone’s face or hear their awkward silence when they don’t know how to respond? “I have a support system that helps take care of me. you should try it sometime.” Lately those words have been burned into my brain and I can’t unsee them and it’s torture As if that is really a luxury I have. I have never truly felt like I have had people able to take care of me. Possibly cruel to say but who in their right mind is equipped to take care of a mess like this? Such a volatile and...just truly stupid creature? I know I know, you shouldn’t say awful things about yourself it just solidifies it etc but Many honestly agree with me I’m not smart, I’m not wise, I’m... A Lot And i hate being a lot. I hate being this. I hate being unbalanced and stupid and impulsive Yet scared and panicked so often. I’m terrified I want to die I’m so afraid people are going to leave me I want to convince everyone to cut their losses and live their lives without me I’m so desperate lately from scraps of affection from certain people And at the same time I want to convince them why I’m unlovable and why I am not worth their time The duality of mental illness I suppose ha Last night was...so hard.

All of the last 24 hours has been so hard. My partner collapsed again, second technically third time in about 3 years? He acts like it was nothing, I shouldn’t worry I still sobbed hysterically and was terrified all night about losing him. My mind flooded with visions of his funeral What I would have to do without him Practically seething at him that he wasn’t worried Because to him he just blacked out and then was back It’s fine right?? He feels fine afterwards! I sobbingly wailed at him that he doesnt have to see his eyes go strange, the color and life leave his face, to see his body slump so heavily as he *stops breathing* He doesn’t understand when he comes to why I am prying his mouth open desperate to get air in him, why I’m sobbing and clinging at him to not leave me. He’s okay, he assures me We need to schedule him a doctor’s appointment Which falls on me to do the work, the research, the calls It always falls on me Appointments, cleaning, laundry, cooking, shopping etc etc etc It falls on me, the household burdens and I feel my back shudder The weight wanting to snap my spine and crush me beneath it I’m so fucking tired I’m so tired of being scared and angry and sad I either want to cry every second or I can’t make myself feel anything I know a lot of this is a chemical imbalance...but environmental factors certainly play a crucial role.

On top of that And realizing my best friend has moved which I am happ for my brain just hates being happy My father also once again drunk texted me thus leading me down the rabbit hole of both resenting my parents and feeling the shame of being an awful son. We’re really just a family of awful people. Ha It’s genetic I’m so tired I want to be happy, but also I don’t think I do? At the very least I’m not allowed. I’m afraid to be happy. I know what I want but I’m in no place to seek any of it. Fuck ups don’t have any room to ask for happiness. I have many things to say. To spit. But I must keep everything neatly folded. On top of that the fear of being happy and then ruining it Shattering it Very very real. At least at rock bottom I feel like it can’t get worse If things get good, I’m terrified. I will still strive to be better, keep pushing forward But gods I am so afraid of the future.

My this is Very long and unfocused If you did read this I am so sorry But thank you for letting me vent Something about a public diary is comforting Anyways I have a sandwich I have been neglecting to spew all of this

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ardent-musings · 3 years

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The Girl Who Vanished (Part 1)

Chapter 25: Learning to Lose

“Professor?” Ana started as she sat by and watched the potions master work on her Dreamless Sleep Potion. She had been sitting in on his potion making, trying to understand the method and skill needed to brew the mixture.

Of course that meant spending more time in the cold dungeons which caused her to shake, regretting how terrible her clothes were at keeping her warm. If she was surrounded by her friends that would take the edge out of her boredom, but Professor Snape was not going to allow a whole swarm of students to spend even more time with him.

Without paying her much attention, the man grumbled in response. His eyes were sunken in and tinted a deep violet. With all the chaos that happened during Halloween, Ana could only imagine how tired the man was. It was also probably incredibly exhausting making fun of Harry Potter and all the boy’s friends on the daily. She never understood why he did it and found it strange just how involved the grown man was with the house rivalries.

“Could I possibly start brewing my own potion?” She asked as he crushed a few beans and drained the liquid into his deep charcoal cauldron. He was incredibly focused when doing anything regarding potions, almost to the point of refusing to blink or breath.

“There is no need for that, Ms. Malfoy. The shelf life for this potion can last months,” he groaned with furrowed brows as he pointed to the bubbling liquid in front of him. “Your batch from the summer lasted you up until now and it would be foolish of you to waste ingredients just to brew beside me.”

“I didn’t mean right at this moment, Professor Snape,” she corrected as he turned to collect more ingredients. “I was talking about the next batch of Dreamless Sleep Potion. Or perhaps my medicine so Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t have to do that for me anymore.”

At the mention of her medicine, he stopped in his tracks to redirect all of his attention onto the young girl, “And why would you want to tamper with that by brewing it yourself?”

Snape’s eyes squinted in disapproval, the act making Ana uneasy. The man hadn’t ever displayed this much annoyance at the young girl, the shift made her suspicious of his sudden defensiveness. She wasn’t scared of it, just curious as to why the grown man looked at her like she was a monster.

“The only reason I ask is because with all the unpredictable things that seem to be happening all the time, I’d like to have my potion ready when I need it, instead of having to wait for it. I fear missing my potion if I don’t get to it on time,” she explained firmly.

“You’ve never missed a dosage have you?” He quickly sputtered as he swung around to face hear head on. A small ball formed in her throat at the confrontational man before her.

Ana shook her head; even if she had to run to her potion from the common room, she wouldn’t ever miss taking it. That was the one thing she had always been told to remember. At the sound of her answer, Snape relaxed his tensed face and went back to collecting ingredients.

“If you think I would allow you to brew your own medicine, than you are not the bright witch that I had assumed you to be.”

“Well is there a chance I could eventually brew it myself?”

“No, Ana you cannot.”

“Well why n-“

“Because I said so!”

The man was full out yelling at her, his nose was flared like the troll from Halloween night and it made her feel cold and infuriated. Unlike the troll, she wasn’t scared of Snape. His little charade of being mean and intimidating was poorly acted out, like Draco when the boy tried lying to her. Despite his shouting, Ana sat up straight, nodded once at the man’s snarl and offered him an icy glare in return.

“Then why am I here, Professor?” she criticized bitterly. “I don’t sit here and watch you drop herbs into a pot because I have absolutely nothing to do. I’m here because I want to learn.”

Snape stared at her with no emotion, his grip on the cauldron tightening. Ana knew it was going to take more to get a reaction from him. He was stubborn beyond belief but she was patient and determined.

“I’m here because I find potion making interesting. I’m here because I grew up watching my mother make potions and tonics for me and I am here because last year you said that I seemed like a promising student. Why won’t you give me the chance to prove it?”

Any bit of air that existed within the potion’s classroom seemed harder to inhale; she said all she had to. It was up to Snape to either turn her down and order her out of the room or surprise her by doing the opposite. By the stern look on the man’s face she assumed she would be marching back to her common room in a few minutes.

Without saying another word, Professor Snape abandoned the girl at the table and went back into his office. She found it comical how he refused to acknowledge her and felt the need to run from a twelve year old girl. Ana rolled her eyes and stood up from her stool in aggravation when Snape returned looking cold. He peered down at her for a moment and then presented her with a small bit of parchment. She unrolled it to see in a neat script detailing the directions for brewing the Dreamless Sleep Potion.

“This particular potion is bothersome even for the most seasoned masters to brew,” he warned as she began reading the seemingly never ending ingredient list and method required for it, “If you truly want to prove yourself than you will come back to me with a fully perfected potion.”

Ana knew that this was going to be a challenge but she desperately wanted to prove the arrogant man wrong, but at least she got her hands on what she wanted.

He was no longer looking at her like she was just another student that he despised, he was looking at her like he too hoped she could make this work. Snape nodded at the young girl in approval and she mirrored his movement back to him; they were on the same page. They both hoped she could pull this off.

~ “Go, go, Gryffindor! Go, go, Gryffindor!”

If Ana wasn’t nervous beforehand she was now; the gleeful cheers for her opposing team only reminded her of how the Slytherin versus Gryffindor game was for the whole school. Her very first game as the new Slytherin chaser weighed heavily on the girl, the pressure of her new title seemed overwhelming.

From behind the Slytherin drapes, Ana stood beside Marcus Flint which made her blood boil, but right now she had to focus on the game. He looked as dreadful as ever, his face scrunched in a sneer, but she had to stifle a laugh once she saw a tiny mushroom sprouting from behind his ear.

“Hey, blondie,” Lucian whispered from behind her and without looking Ana knew that he was probably giving her the most kind smile, “You’re going to do just fine. Don’t worry.”

She found it pointless for him to tell her not to worry, there was lots to worry about. And yet she couldn’t help but feel comforted by the sweet reminder. No matter how many summers she spent speeding around on her broom with Draco or how well she did during her tryout, Ana’s mind was preoccupied on the fact that Gryffindor’s team had Harry Potter as their newest member. Maybe that meant less people would be staring at her, which at this point was what Ana wanted.

The curtains that stood between her and the Quidditch Pitch opened wide and she mounted her Nimbus 2000 before finally taking off. Screams of excitement and pride filled her ears and made them ring with just how loud everything was. From her position she could see Draco with his bumbling friends not too far away from Alex, Calista and Aeron who were hollering and waving at her wildly.

Madam Hooch was going over the rules of the game while she finally focused on the two Gryffindor beaters who waved the short bats at her mockingly. She wasn’t going to let them know just how anxious she was so she raised her brows at them playfully and smirked with faux confidence.

Ana didn’t get the chance to stare at the twins long before a whistle sounded from below her and the Quaffle was released. Before she could register what was happening, her body dipped down automatically as she swiped the ball from the air. The cool wind pierced against her skin as she zipped towards the Gryffindor hoops. Flint appeared next to her so she passed it off to him to make the goal. After launching the Quaffle, Oliver Wood blocked it far too easily which made her wonder if she should’ve just went for the goal herself.

Once she got into the rhythm of the game, she found that her nerves disappeared completely; not only did she score a few goals of her own, but Lucian and Derrick were blasting any bludger that the twins sent her way. She had to give the boys credit, when they said they weren’t going to go easy on her, they weren’t joking. More often than not, Ana was dodging the iron boogers, thankfully it allowed the other chasers to score.

Of course Marcus Flint couldn’t play a clean game as he grabbed Lucian’s bat and whirled a bludger into an unsuspecting Oliver Wood who took the hit straight to the gut. It hurt Ana to see the boy free fall, but at this point, there was nothing she could do.

“Bibiana Malfloy races towards the pitch! With Wood out cold this is going to be an easy goal,” Lee yelled over the intercom as she broke away from Angelina Johnson and Katie Bell who were trying their best to steal the ball from her. It had been a while since Ana had been so close to Angelina, but at the moment, they were opponents. “She’s about to score again!”

Ana launched the ball towards the hoops, whirling into the unguarded goal.

“That’s another ten points for Slytherin!”

The announcement made the girl smile widely, enjoying how she was able to contribute to their current lead. As a chaser, there was no time to stay still or observe her surroundings; she had to move on instinct and speed. However, she couldn’t help but notice when out of nowhere, Harry was flailing around on his broom as if it was being yanked by something. Besides his movements, a burning feeling on the side of her neck took her out of the game mentally and in that moment all she could focus on was the crunch of the bludger against her hand as it came into contact with her. The pain was immediate and intense, it took all of her balance just to keep her upright within the air.

“Malfoy took a hit by George Weasley! That’s go- Wait! What is going on with Harry Potter’s broom?”

The injury wasn’t enough to take her out of the game, but there was no way she could hold her broom and the Quaffle at the same time. Without a hand to score with, Ana made sure her body would get in the way of the Gryffindor chasers, although Harry was doing the same as his body jutted harshly across the field. Murmurs of worry erupted around the stadium as the boy who lived was tossed around by some invisible force, but Ana dodged him and the bludgers that kept coming her way.

With every twist on her broom, her hand stung with jolts of pain, each one more painful than the last. She would definitely have to give George the biggest guilt trip of his life once the game was all over. The thought of making the boy apologize to her was the only thing getting her through the agony that was situated in her hand.

As Ana focused on her injury and the Gryffindor chasers, she hadn’t noticed that Harry had regained control of his broom. Across the pitch, Higgs and Harry were neck in neck as they raced for the golden snitch. She was oblivious to the two boys who dove towards the ground at high speeds in pursuit of the ball which was soon to be caught.

“Harry Potter has caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins!” Lee cheered animatedly which caused the rest of the pitch to scream happily, except for the Slytherins who groaned at the loss.

Ana was disappointed in the loss but as soon as her feet touched the ground below, all she could focus on was the growing pain in her wrist and the suspicious burn on her neck. The team was supposed to return to the changing rooms to go over the game, but instead Flint was yelling angrily at the outcome. He was so blinded by his fury that he didn’t even notice that Ana was hurt, or maybe he just didn’t care. Before Flint could do more damage, Lucian ushered her out of the room and accompanied her to the hospital wing.

Ana hung her head as she cradled her injured wrist close to her, the final score began to register to the young girl.

“You did great out there, you know,” Lucian complimented as he strutted down the halls of the castle confidently. She didn’t necessarily believe him, but she did know that she did what she could; even if she did poorly, Ana at least gave her all.

With the lack of a smile or anything, Lucian continued, “I mean, you got hit with a bludger and pretty much laughed it off. That’s badass.”

At the sound of that, Ana stopped in her tracks to laugh at the boy, “Badass?”

“Badass.”

Fred blurted in agreement tiredly; he and George had followed behind the two snakes, hoping to catch up with them. Ana attention went straight to the younger twin whose browns eyes were wide with fear, the tips of his ears matched the red hue of his hair. She could tell he was worried, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to have a bit of fun.

“I see your aim is incredibly accurate,” Ana fake pouted as she dangled her injured wrist at the boy, “Fred’s aim could use a bit of work.”

At that jab, Fred rolled his eyes and turned away from her entirely. She loved pushing that boy’s buttons, and the insult made Lucian snicker beside her.

“Ana, I am so unbelievably sorry,” George whined woefully. “The thing is I didn’t even aim the thing. I got distracted by Harry when the bludger was coming after me and I just whacked it away and right into you.

His voice trailed off at the end of his explanation, running out of breath from his fear and tiredness. Ana decided to show the poor boy mercy, it was a mistake after all.

“George, I’m not angry. It’s okay,” she said as a rush of pain redirected her attention to her wrist, but she held in any signs of discomfort in order to reassure the boy of her lie.

“You don’t hate me?”

“No, I don’t hate you.”

George released a shallow sigh at her acceptance, the pale color returning to the boy’s face.

“Ana, we should get to the infirmary,” Lucian reminded her softly, not trying to come between their conversation, “your wrist is turning blue.”

All of their eyes widened at her almost fully bruised wrist, the damage seemingly getting worse by the second. Ana shuffled on her feet and that alone made the girl gasp in pain, which made all four boys jump in concern.

“Sorry, boys, but I’m gonna steal her from you, if that’s alright.”

Of course, Lucian would be perfectly charming to the boys he had not only played against but who also injured one of his best friends. Ana was appreciative for his actions since Aeron or Alex probably would’ve started yelling at the twins. Somehow, Lucian always knew what to say no matter who it was.

“Congrats on the win, Weasleys.”

“Thanks,” the boys said together, both with hints of confusion, which Ana assumed was their reaction to Lucian’s unwavering kindness. It didn't surprise her one bit, that's just who Lucian was.

All four of them exchanged gentle smiles as Lucian opened the large doors to the hospital. Now her wrist was fully black and spreading further up her arm. The color was dramatic against her pale skin which made it blaring obvious how much worse her injury was getting.

“Ms. Malfoy, welcome back,” Madam Pomfrey welcomed in an exasperated huff.

Ana plopped down on the same cot she laid in the year before after her run in with Trelawney; that memory had been pushed deep within the confines of her brain. It wasn’t one she enjoyed thinking about much.

“Hopefully she doesn’t end up here again,” Lucian joked with the woman who had already begun administering a balm to the girl’s wrist which made her wince at the touch. The pain was brief and the healing effects of the topical was already making her discomfort lessen. Next to her, Lucian leaned against the side table as he watched over the healer at work. He waited patiently as Ana was being cared for which made the girl smile at him. She was still hurting a bit, but Lucian brought her an insurmountable sense of comfort when he beamed back at the girl.

#fred weasley #fred weasley smut #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley x oc #bibiana malfoy #the girl who vanished #tgwv #tgwv 1-25 #enemies to friends to lovers

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quixotic-dragon · 3 years

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Kokichi Oma’s Crocodile Tears (MAJOR DRV3 SPOILERS)

Ah, good ol’ Kokichi Oma. The Ultimate Little Shit- and a controversial little shit at that! I’ve recently played v3, and Kokichi is the one character who always seems to be on my mind (aside from my fav, Keebo, of course) because he’s such a mystery. We never get to know what’s going on in his head, at least not openly, and many players are led to assume that he is a malicious troublemaker, or even an outright sadist.

I’m going to take a moment to analyze Kokichi specifically during that infamous scene at the end of Chapter 4 because that is all that’s been on my mind as of late.

Underneath the Keep reading, there WILL be major spoilers for the entirety of v3. There will also be a very long essay, but I will do my best to break it up so it is easier to read. Read at your own risk.

So without further ado, here is my analysis of and my thoughts on Kokichi, his actions, and his character circa Chapter 4:

INITIAL REACTION:

Before I go into how I feel about Kokichi now, I’m going to have a discussion about my thoughts on him while this scene was playing out. (I know my exact feelings because I was liveposting in a discord server as I played, haha)

At this point in the game, the player does not yet know that Kokichi is not the true mastermind, nor do they understand what Kokichi means by “winning” the game.

I had personally been spoiled of who the v3 mastermind was (thanks a lot danganronpa wiki), so I recognized that Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind, however I did not recognize that he was trying to win the killing game via unconventional methods. So from my point of view, Kokichi had just intentionally murdered Gonta (and Miu) just to increase his chances of winning and had the nerve to shed fake tears over it. I was furious! (behold, my fury!)

Kokichi sobs over Gonta’s death, and I interpreted this as entirely fake tears. One of my friends suggested, “i feel like there was a difference between like his / crocodile tears and this.”

I was enraged at this suggestion and stood beside my initial reaction because I felt that there were no signs that Kokichi never cared for Gonta as anything more than an asset, so I could not trust Kokichi to have any real remorse for his death with such a manipulative relationship having existed. (Massive disclaimer that this is my interpretation of their relationship; if you have a different interpretation, that is totally fine and valid!)

At this point, I considered why Kokichi might be crying so intensely even if it was an act, and came to the conclusion that if there was any sort of truth in those tears that Kokichi would be upset for a different reason than Gonta. He would be upset because he was truly alone. Not a single living person wanted to spare him the time of day besides Gonta. And now that Gonta is dead, nobody wants Kokichi. Even though I was fully convinced he was a sadistic, evil bastard at this point, I still figured that he must’ve felt some sort of sudden and crippling loneliness realizing that the only person who cared about him in the slightest was dead.

This interpretation of Kokichi I had really didn’t change much until after I had finished the entire game and stopped to think about Kokichi a bit more; his heartfelt final words to Kaito felt like lies to convince him to play along (blackmailing Maki certainly didn’t help with that much either), and his whole trick felt less like him trying to help and more like him just trying to cause chaos for the hell of it in my mind.

So, in conclusion, my initial reaction to the Kokichi scene? I thought Kokichi was a heartless bastard whose only remorse could be crippling loneliness. Although my initial analysis while I was still playing was quite interesting, I have some different opinions on it now that I’ve taken a step back and viewed the game as a whole.

KOKICHI ONLY WANTS YOU TO THINK HE’S EVIL:

Surprise! Kokichi isn’t a sadistic fuck! Crazy right?

Well, not really if you’ve watched/read any Kokichi analysis ever. However, Kokichi’s act seems to be a common thing that many casual players of v3 fall for. I certainly fell for it when I played, as you saw above!

It isn’t until far later in the game that it is revealed that Kokichi is the “supreme leader” of a pacifist prankster club (DICE), and it isn’t revealed until the end of Chapter 5 that Kokichi actually had good intentions in setting up his mastermind persona (although, as seen above, those good intentions are still very easily interpreted in a bad light).

So why does he bother to so obviously cry wolf at Gonta’s death just to double back on his persona ten-fold as soon as he’s called out on it? Because he’s just trying to sell his mastermind persona, not only to the other characters and the mastermind, but to the player themself. This is intended by both Kokichi and the writers themselves, made obvious by the fact that we get no real evidence of Kokichi being a benevolent person until long after this scene. (There are many moments in earlier chapters where Kokichi is trying to be helpful to the group or to a specific character, however every time he attempts this, it is painted in a negative light because he is either going against the protagonist’s will or achieving things in a more underhanded manner via lies or provocation).

When I saw Kokichi crying for Gonta, my first thoughts were, “I am going to THROTTLE this fucking BASTARD.” Because even if those tears were real, Kokichi was still the one fully responsible for Gonta’s death, so I felt that he had no right to shed tears over it. If it weren’t for Kokichi’s crying during this scene, I would have been very suspicious of how suddenly his evil villain act amped up. If he hadn’t shed tears that were so obviously fake, I would not have been nearly as enraged with him, and therefore not nearly as willing to just accept the fact: “Well. Guess he’s evil now.”

Whereas I would’ve chalked the scene without crying to bad writing, the viewers of the killing game, and by extent the mastermind, would garner suspicion towards his actions. Although Kokichi was not aware that Keebo had direct contact with the outside world, he was very aware that the killing game had to have been broadcasted to somewhere. He had to ensure that he was as convincing as possible; that meant no “bad writing” mistakes could be left anywhere.

I stand by what I said before in that Kokichi’s crying in this scene is just a bunch of crocodile tears. However, with new context and information surrounding the situation, they probably weren’t devoid of emotion. Kokichi only allowed himself to cry here in order to properly double back on his new mastermind persona, however, unlike what I believed before, he most likely did feel remorse at the deaths of Gonta and Miu. He just broke his last standing moral code: don’t murder people. And he broke it by indirectly causing the deaths of two people he may have considered to be his friends. That’s heavy stuff!

Kokichi is faking these reactions to the trial because he has to if he wants to deceive everybody. But... the best acting comes from the heart.

LONELINESS AND GUILT:

As I covered in my initial reaction to Kokichi’s breakdown, I felt as though he couldn’t possibly have any remorse for his actions, so he must have been devastated knowing that he would now be truly alone. This view was heavily influenced by Shuichi’s words after the trial... because they were true.

After Kokichi criticizes the group for coming to Kaito’s aid, Shuichi turns around and tells Kokichi that he is the pathetic one because he will always be alone. There are no lies to these words. Now that Gonta is dead, and now that Kokichi has gone so far into his persona, not a single person wants to even be near him.

Now that I’ve established that Kokichi’s actions post-trial were most definitely an act and not representative of his true feelings, we can discuss what his true feelings may have been. I come back to the idea of Kokichi fearing being alone because, hey! My past ignorant self was actually onto something!

The acknowledgement that Kokichi feels remorse for his actions just makes this situation even sadder for him; not only did he just indirectly murder two people and has to put up with the guilt of that, but now, nobody cares about him either. Not that anybody in the cast cared for him all that much in the first place (aside from Gonta), but Shuichi’s words to him here seal his fate as the permanent outcast and assigned villain of the group. He had already been struggling with loneliness throughout the beginning chapters of the game, and now Shuichi - the only person he finds truly trustworthy (according to his little whiteboard, at least) - is confirming to him that nobody wants him. Ouch.

I am personally led to believe that a large part of the reason that Kokichi ends up sacrificing himself in Chapter 5 has a lot to do with the broken feelings he would’ve had under the combined guilt of his actions and the crushing reality of loneliness.

Would Kokichi have offered to sacrifice himself anyways given the circumstances? Probably, yeah. However, the way he was so accepting of his death reminded me a lot of Kaede in Chapter 1; she couldn’t allow herself to take the First Blood Perk because she felt that she had to atone for her sins, or she could never live with herself. Kokichi seems, in the moment, to be more than willing to die, perhaps for the same reasons. Not only would be feel like he has to make up for the deaths he caused, but he would also feel like he had nothing left to live for, at least not within the academy anyway.

Or maybe he was just tired from the poison, not from life. But who’s to say? We can’t see inside of his head.

FINAL THOUGHTS / CONCLUSION:

OK, so some final thoughts before wrapping this up: Holy shit, Kokichi is an asshole.

Even knowing the emotional turmoil Kokichi must have been going through, it was still infuriating to see him treat Gonta so poorly in Trial 4. Perhaps it was just a part of his act as well? Regardless, it really just did not sit with me well. Under no circumstance should Kokichi be continulessly yelling at Gonta while he’s crying from the insults, for real. But hey, at least if it was just another act from Kokichi, then he can rest easy knowing he certainly had me fooled.

...

So, in my opinion, Kokichi’s infamous breakdown was entirely fabricated. He had to fake both his tears and his sadism in order to fully convince the world that he was a force of pure malice in order to get away with what he had planned. However, despite his apparent change in personality, he never really was sadistic, and may have even cared for the people around him till the very end.

That’s all I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#danganronpa v3 #danganronpa #drv3 kokichi #kokichi ouma #kokichi #v3 spoilers #danganronpa spoilers #danganronpa v3 spoilers

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revan-posting · 4 years

Text

Dying stars

Summary: “It was pointless to think about the past, they both were suffering and now the rush of emotions washed them over, captured in a searing kiss. Death or fear had no place in the room, not even the time have a meaning, an abyss collapses and consumes their solitude. What about the war? What about the conflict? For them, for now there's no factions nor reasons to fight, the moment has vanquished the war. There's nothing else around.”

Pairing: Rex and Ahsoka, Rexoka, Rex x Reader-Ahsoka (let’s say whatever be your age is Ahsoka’s).

Warning: During Order 66, angst, tenderness/fluff, some lemmon or smut (I am not sure, honestly) tragedy, death, and my tired broken heart.

Word count: 6.2k wow

a/n: Well, this was requested by @bitch8901 <3 I truly hope you like it and I apologize this took too long to be shared.

This Rexoka prompt was inspired by Sarah Connor’s romance in Terminator because of this post. It hasn’t been easy, it’s my very first fic written in English, so I apologize if there are grammar errors or spelling mistakes. Yeah, the title isn’t great as well, I’m not good naming things lol but all this was made with love. And others who might read it, hope you like it as well <3 criticism will be well received.

The Siege of Mandalore has finished. All that chaos has stopped, flames still burning and is raining ashes, blood and corpses everywhere, just for Maul to get the attention of Master Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. It seems such an obsession. What a waste! It was necessary all this? He wanted something else after killing Skywalker?

Ahsoka and the rest inside the Venator already, she couldn't stop to think if she did right to not mention to Master Yoda all those crazy things Maul said. Within her, something started to ache, her chest feels like it's burning gradually. Maybe it was the recent battle, the fear and darkness sensed because of Maul caged on that mandalorian device. That shouldn't happen.

Still, those words he said about the Republic, justice and order, she couldn't forget them:

"The Republic already has fallen, and you just can't see it! There is no justice, no law, no order, except for the one that will replace it!"

Those damn words, his scared voice screaming, begging to be left to die, echoing on all her way to the bridge.

Rex was already there, looking at her, smiling until see her expression through his helmet, sad and worried. Every one salute her with respect and joy. Noticing this, Ahsoka tries to left behind her thoughts and salutes them back a bit happier for the welcome. She really missed them but also realize there are many less on board, incluiding those who weren't in the beginning of the reunion, like Fives. Where are his jokes, imprudence and laughs?

Ahsoka approaches to Rex with no words but a smirk for him; he take his helmet off to see her better. Looks so tired and of course there's something annoying her. Rex knows her so well to realize she's not entirely ok.

"Hey, Rex" the former jedi feels the need to hug him after all this chaos and losses, but she resists the temptation. Rex's chest started to pound so hard once his name was released from the lips of the togruta close to him.

He tries so hard to not rise his hand to her cheek, feel her skin, hug her and comfort her. So much to say, still, so much to hide.

Regs must be obeyed, they both have a code to be followed, emotions to bury alive, even if they don't know what they feel for each other.

It was irrelevant, Ahsoka wasn't a Jedi anymore but Rex is still being a soldier, and a good soldier follow orders, despite what he considers is wrong or right.

"It's been a while" Rex responds with such a low voice, a delightful tone for her ears.

"I know, my friend. So much has happened, so much...", she hesitates to keep talking. Her eyes try to look at any other point instead of those golden eyes. Ends to look at her feet while one hand grip her elbow.

"Hey, are you alright?" Rex rub her forearm with his to get her glance again. "Let's hang out of the bridge, do you agree?"

"Sure. It would be good for both", nods while lift up a shoulder.

The couple of friends leave the command center and the ship jumps to hyperspace; far enough of the rest of the clones, Ahsoka snag her arm with Rex's and keep walking through the hallways.

His body shudders as she gets closer to his side, both upper arms together. Gladly, the trooper armor hides his shivering body but the recent sweat on his forehead couldn't be hidden, and would be weird put his helmet on again.

Ahsoka sighs, distracted, distant. It took the attention of Rex, forgot his shyness and fear, and finally dares to speak.

"'Soka, what's wrong? You look... troubled. What is it? It's about Maul?" his face changed after name that murderer. Thinking about all the mess he provoked, all the pain caused to his men: Jesse felt so guilty and sick 'till the point he would prefered to die instead. Sure Rex was tortured with the Force once, and being choked wasn't an experience he would like to remind. Neverless, Jesse took the worse part.

"I'm sorry, Rex." she stopped sharp without releasing his arm. Drove a hand to her temple, like feeling a headache. Rex's eyes were looking for hers with no luck. "I should tell them about what he said. About that vision of him. And I must control my emotions, block this fear inside of me, but for now seems impossible to do so." Finally, the togruta takes her arm away from his. Cross both arms pressing her tummy and the self-distrust starts to invade her.

Like ignoring her friend, keeps walking. Feels suffocated, afraid, lonely and desperate; she needs to cry out to the sky for some reason. Seems that all the lessons learnt are gone, all those years in the Jedi Temple vanished. Felt so empty and confused, her eyes started to water and flick because of that. She wanted to run and hide, above all, hide her sorrow from Rex. She didn't want him to see her crying or being weak or-

"'Soka...". The togruta hears and feel a hand on her shoulder stopping her from behind. She turns around and Rex looks at her for a moment, drops his helmet and hesitating tug her from her shoulder to his body to finally hug her.

Rex tight his hold, sinking his temple on one lekku, caressing it carefully. Whilst Ahsoka stayed shocked for seconds until feel a warm in her chest wich was heavily pounding and her hands didn't know what to do, if surround him or keep them away. Clenchs her fists for a while trying to avoid the urge to hold him, such flames burning her chest to the point she cannot resist it anylonger and disposes to place both hands on his back.

The soldier was afraid to be not reciprocated until he feels her arms leaned on his body. Kept his eyes closed afraid to open them and see it was just a dream, but no, he actually was holding her as close as possible that could even feel her heartbeat through his armor. 'No more nightmares, no more pain' he was thinking. Something alike Fives said before he died on his arms. This moment feels like that: compassion and relief.

Ahsoka feels the same, exactly what she needed, relief from all pain and the compassion of a friend. It was no pity nor shame, it wasn't a negative comfort, it was a selfless act from a good heart of a great man.

The embrace dies slowly full of calm like an expected departure. She was ready to release him from her arms, so he was. She sighed deeply, feeling her cheeks turning into red, smirks because of it. Rex takes a hand to his head and trails it to the back of the neck with the same red colored cheeks on his face, made a beautiful combination of colours with that tan skin he posses.

At the same time, Ahsoka and Rex rose their faces to look at each other and smile. Ahsoka giggles to see him blushing, that laughter melted the Captain's heart. Within him borns the want to feel her face, caress her cheeks, touch her lips; he cannot stop to admire her. Ahsoka wonders what's going on his mind right now? Longing to place her hands on his chest whether he's using an armor or not, or maybe take his hands.

She looks at the dropped helmet and bends to take it to its owner. Before Rex could take it back, she draws the marks and patterns the helmet has with her thinny fingers; after that, she looked at him again to indicate he can take the helmet.

Suddenly, a tear falls from one of Ahsoka's eyes, she feels it and frowns due the sensation. She was about to dry that it but Rex was faster, so with the thumb of his free gloved hand took that tear away and his heart skipped a beat. By the stars! Even wearing gloves, Rex could feel how warm and soft her skin was. A burning desire appeared from nowhere to feel more and more of that sunset skin. He clenched his jaw to suppress those thoughts, shocked his head in denial and stepped back.

"I apologize, Commander. Such an offense I have committed, it won't happen again, ma'am", said nervously with no idea where to look at now.

Ahsoka confused and a bit worried, parted her lips thinking of something to say to make him stay. "Rex! Please wait!". She could reach him taking his forearm and then his hand with both of her hands. She tugged of them to force him to return where they were, even going further back.

Rex obeys her demands intentionally like she was stronger than him to keep him under her power and submission.

"Please, let's talk, okey?" Ahsoka asks as it could be the last time they could talk.

"Lead the way, Commander" Rex answers back with that deep and sensually calm voice that gives her goosebumps.

She keeps holding his hand afraid of lose it during their way to somewhere more... private.

Rex indicated a way to her quarters, he thought Ahsoka would need a place to relax after all the mess it was to come. It was well settled and equiped with the necessarly, incluiding more pillows that usual. A refresher and new clothes, a jedi robe placed on a table close to the refresher, takes the fabric for a moment, the nostalgia hits her for a second, until heard Rex's sweet voice.

"I thought you would like to take a nap or something. I know is not as big as you use to-" the nerve betrays him, his voice started to cut off. For the very first time they're comepletly alone in a room, Ahsoka looks so tranquil and quiet. Rex felt like an idiot. Why he's so nervous? Being at the bar and sober wasn't that hard, surrounded by his brothers and girls they invited wasn't a big deal, nor even drunk. Now he's alone with the woman he cares to the point would rather die before losing her. Such an attachment, such bond they have created, should be forbbiden. It is forbbiden!

"Rex, it is okey, I didn't think I could need it, actually. I just, please, let's talk" she sighs again and takes sit in the bed. Rex didn't know what to do or where to go. There weren't chairs or anything else, Ahsoka invited him to sit next to her on that bed. That made him blush again, she giggles. Rex leaves his helmet on the table with the jedi robe and doubting to sit yet. Ahsoka takes his wrist and tugged on it to make him fall aside her. She laughs again, such a beautiful smile on her face, those blue cristals shining like the first time he saw them. 'Yeah, it's been a while' he thought, 3 years being partners, saving each others life, having each others back, 3 years of friendship. 3 years and couldn't do enough for her when she was accused of sedition. Yes, he also said he knew her perfectly to know she wouldn't murder another clone, anyways he hunted her along side her Master and others. She must have felt betrayed. And then, thought in Fives. What if... what if he was right about all he said of the Chancellor and those inhibator chips?

His laughter stopped and the torment showed off on his face. His wrist was safe and sound on Ahsoka's hands yet, looking at him with tender and a smirk. Until see the new expression he had now. In shame, Rex looks away and removes his arm from Ahsoka's grip. Stands up and just walks around, took both hands to his temple. He gets to the door, Ahsoka fears he leaves the room but Rex turns around to look at her again. Lained on the door with crossed arms and downcast eyes, he sighs, thinking well his next words, but it seems his mind doesn't want to speak but his heart aches ready to voice itself.

"Where you've been all this time, 'Soka?" Rex downhearted alleges to her, he denies to watch her face but Ahsoka stares to him worried due his change of tone. "Rex?" she wonders. "Tup died, Fives died, we found Echo almost brainwashed and tortured, where were you?", he sounds angry but weak. Never meant to blame her but, guess he needed her there with him, maybe, just maybe, Ahsoka could help Fives to survive, who knows? Maybe all he needed was her support, her presence to comfort him like she used to do in the darkest days, in the harderst missions.

"You know what he said? Fives. He said..." Rex hardly swallows and continues, "Fives said the Republic implanted inside us an inhibator chip to control us. A damn chip ready to use it against the Jedi", there were anger and pain on his glance, clenched his jaw like it could help him to control the incoming tears. "We tried to stop him, he was scared, desperate, we had no choice and... and Fox... Fox..." his voice broke down making it harder to keep talking. Ahsoka rose up as fast as she could and ran straight to him.

Took him by the shoulders seeking for his eyes. Rex tried to evade her, ignore her glance but failed. She placed both hands on his face, Rex with eyes wide open plunges on her soft touch.

"Rex, there was no day I didn't suffer to be far from you. Believe me, I would give anything to go back in time to mend all that happened. My days on the lower levels of Coruscant might be over, I don't know, but I learnt so much being there. The Jedi are not the heroes I thought they were." she trailed her hands on his shoulders again.

"Wait, you've been in Coruscant all this time?" Rex asked while taking her wrists down. "Yeah, it's been a mess, but I saw what people think about us, and I kind of agree with the-" Ahsoka shrugged and Rex cut her off "No, wait... You've been there all the time and never saw you." Rex said hurt and dissapointed of himself for some reason.

"Maybe you should take me to that famous bar you all frequent someday" Ahsoka bantered to ease the the mood taking his hands carefully to not take him by surprise. Rex notice this, with both thumbs caresses the back of her hands. He smirks by the idea of taking Ahsoka to the bar with the boys. He focus on the ceiling of the room thinking about it between laughters, Ahsoka sighs admiring the man close to her. Such a delightful view to see her man laughing after all... 'My man?' she thought. Yes, my dearest friend, my beloved partner.

While Rex kept holding her hands, she took them to her lower back so he could hug her again. He got it and placed his hands on her middle, Ahsoka gazed at him one last time before embracing him again. Rex, again, felt like an kriffin' idiot for being so rude towards her. 'How could I blamed her about Fives? Damn it'. Rex's eyes wide shut because of that while tugged her closer, Ahsoka had no idea what's on Rex mind but could feel him troubled.

"Rex, what's going on?"

"I...I apologize for all I said, I don't know what I was thinking of"

Ahsoka stared at him and standing on tiptoe, kissing him close to his lips to interrump him. Rex swallows nervously and the blush started to burn his skin. "You don't have to apologize, there's nothing to be sorry about", Ahsoka caresses his top cheek softly, her fingers travel to his lips like her eyes.

She wonders what was that stir inside her chest, that burning flame warming her body, she wonders if Rex feels the same way, if there is the chance... She took both hands to the back of Rex's neck to pull him closer with no objection, their lips were almost together. Both hearts racing, there's nothing else around, nothing to think about. That until Rex stopped her sharp:

"Ahsoka, wait" Rex set her aside. The togruta almost lose her balance because of Rex moving her. "Wha... What's wrong?" she asks hurt. Rex walks around of the room trying to escape maybe.

"'Soka, this can't be."

"Why?" her eyes started to water again.

"'Soka..." Rex approaches to her, "Ahsoka, I..." heavy breathing being released from his mouth, his chest aches as hell, holds her by her upper arms firmlly.

"We can't!"

"Is there someone else?"

"No, Ahsoka, no!" his hands go cupped her face carefully, "Ahsoka... I'm a soldier, you're a Jedi. It is forbbiden, you know that!"

"No, Rex, I'm not a Jedi anymore! I-" she holds his hands without take them away.

"No, you're a Jedi, whether you like or not, you can't deny what you are." removed the tears on her cheeks. "Remember all those missions together, all the lives you saved, the lessons you have learnt and taught... Doesn't matter how I feel, I'm not gonna break the code, you're not gonna-"

"Do you feel something for me, Rex?", her eyes wide open, shining like two kybers newly found, the pounding heart in need of answers. 'Can it be? Is it truly happening?' questions inside her mind, anxious to know if all those beautiful moments, whether they endured or not, whether they were private or not, meant the same to him like they meant for her. The laughter, the jokes, the protection, the journey. The moments they healed each other wounds, telling stories, training together, do all those days matter for him?

"I shouldn't told you that" his hands released her face. Went to the table where his helmet was, ready to go cursing his words. 'I'm sorry, but I can't stay with you' he said to himself. "Forgive me".

With the Force, she manipulated the control panel to ensure the door. "What the... Commander, what are you doing?" he quarrelled her through his helmet nervously.

"I'm sorry, Rex, but I need to know, please" tear drops kept falling from her eyes. "I care for you, Rex. Days after leaving the Order, I realized I might not see you again, possibly ever. The thought of that broke my heart. I knew what happened with Tup and Fives. The thought of that could be you instead broke my heart. Watching Maul murdering every one of you, torturing you, and that I could lose you in my turn... Rex", Ahsoka getting closer to the soldier looking for his hands. "Have you ever fall in love, Captain? Have you ever met someone you would give your life for? Because that's what I feel for you".

Rex couldn't believe what he listened, elated and surprised under the helmet. His heart pounding violently that thought it would escape from his chest, he wanted to stop arguing with the desire dwelling inside. Maybe this is the time.

"Rex?" Ahsoka takes his helmet off one more time.

"I still remember the day I met you on Christophsis, naive and eager to fight. The sparkle in your glance, the fire in battle was nothing compared to that light of yours. Every mission I feared it might be the last one, it wasn't until I arrived to the base I could breathe knowing you'd be okay. Every night I tried to sleep without dreaming, having the picture of you always in my mind didn't help. When you left, I used to draw your skin marks in any area I had in front of me, wondering where were you? If you were safe, if you were... I'd cross a thousands systems just to ask if you're happy now and if have you ever thought of me, at least once. I love you, Ahsoka, I always have, and because of that I'd give my life for you.

Rex held her hands caressing them again, Ahsoka couldn't feel happier. Hopped to embrace him and wraped her arms around Rex's neck. Whatever was aching his chest it stopped, felt like breaking chains to breathe again, the taste of freedom. That's what he thought until Ahsoka got off her grip and pulled his shoulders down to kiss him. Holding him again around his neck this time glenter in case he tried to escape again. Such a impassioned kiss made Rex tug her closer by her waist, unfortunately the armor was damn nuisance to enjoy the moment. Rex pushed away for a bit to breathe, Ahsoka gave him the chance to recover himself but in no time approached his face to hers to keep kissing him with the same passion.

"Ahsoka, wait" he breathed. His hands went to her jaw and neck, joined both foreheads like a Keldabe kiss, it helped to keep breathing, though.

"What is it, love?" she smirks heavily breathing.

"I... think, I think my chestplate is leftover, don't you think?" he sighed and smiled. Ahsoka gave a mischievous glance, Rex looked kinda scared.

"I think, more than the chestplate is leftover, Captain", trailed her fingers all the way of his arms. Rex swallowed and Ahsoka moved aways to give him the chance to remove not just the chestplate, she expects.

Rex was shivering, it made harder to put everything off of hi body, trying to breathe steady didn't work for now. 'Trained to work under pressure, yeah sure' he thought, not like this was a kind of work to do or something alike. His mind was a mess. Ahsoka came closer and surrounded his waist with her arms from behind. Leaned the side of her face in his back on blacks and sighed, rocking as slow as possible, "Do you need help?" she offers. "Don't worry, I'm almost done" he gazed her with his peripheral.

Chestplate, shoulder pads, upper and forearms bands, gloves and belt removed; Ahsoka couldn't wait for him to put off the legplates and greaves, almost gave him chance to remove his boots. She turned him around, the embrace were more pleasant than before, by far! His chest softer and warm, those strong arms covering her perfectly. Ahsoka rose her sight up looking for another kiss of her man, Rex didn't need words for it, cupped her face with his hands and kissed her, this time with no hurry or despair. His hands felt like heaven, Rex could feel this as well, for the very first time his bare hands caressed her skin and they were looking for something else.

The kiss were turning deep gradually taking the same rhythm it had firstly, the passion through their tongues, sucking each others lips, their breathing increasing with difficult, Rex barely could remain standing so he drag her mate with him to the closest wall and his hands went to her hips to pull her body against his. The excitement was noticeable, it seems Rex didn't realize of it but it pulled a moan out of Ahsoka among their kiss while she tried to get closer to him to keep feeling that sensation down there.

Their kiss grew deeply, even more every time like it wasn't enough for both. Rex trailed his hands down to her asscheeks, squeezed them and spread them a bit. Ahsoka lifting the head stopped sharp the kiss to murmur his name, that gave Rex the chance to kiss her chin and jaw, lick her neck, trailed his mouth to a part of her collarbone. He couldn't kiss her further or bow lower, so he lift her up enough to Ahsoka wrap his waist with her legs and held her against the wall making Ahsoka to moan again. Rex felt the goosebumps again after that, breathed on her throat and kissed her gently. Her body started to feel hotter, like burning inside, something in him felt as hard as the beskar she's wearing, something Ahsoka could feel between her thighs while Rex kept kissing and sucking her neck carefully, she hummed in response for every kiss, tugging the fabric of his blacks. He missed her lips and the taste of her tongue and so did she.

"Take me to the bed... Rex" she begged.

"Are you sure?" he asked frowned.

"That's all I ask" she breathed. "Unless...Do you... do you want to...?" she asked as well, maybe he wasn't ready.

"You needed to ask, cyar'ika?" he drew a wide smile.

"Okay, then put me down".

Rex wondered what she was thinking of, whatever it is, he was eager -and nervos- to see. Ahsoka moved him back until his legs hit the edge of the bed, she push him by his bare tan chest to make him lay down. She stared at him for a while and started to take of her clothes, the blush on her face was burning her cheeks, shivering and giggling. Rex couldn't help but smile admiring her from the bed.

Ahsoka disappears for a moment to place the beskar pieces on the table, Rex takes advantage of her absence to remove the legplates and greaves that couldn't take off earlier, put kept the tight black pants on, for now...

Ahsoka shows off before his beautiful golden eyes with nothing but her headdress, crossing her knees and one arm barely covering her breast, blinking flirty. With his jaw dropped, Rex stared at the woman in front of him: his eyes were shining like dying stars, breathing between laughters, posing both elbows on his knees. He wished he could freeze the time just to preserve the current picture: the women he loves looking impressively ravishing and gorgeous. Nothing else mattered for him.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Ahsoka bantered.

She crouched to the bed, Rex's legs were between Ahsoka's and then she sat on his lap. What kind of man had in front of her now? The narrow and precise soldier she met on Christophsis, the man made of regs and stone, honest and experienced, gone for now, for her. Ahsoka thought about the times when Rex was distant, quiet and even angry. Nothing could turn his mood easily, nor his brothers or the General Skywalker. She tried to be there, in all those bad moments or mostly of them, being an incorrigible chatty, weird and brisk, talking about silly shit she learnt from Fives or joking about any thing related to Kamino and its tall people. Sometimes it worked, some other times, it was useless, causing the beaming 'joy' of the togruta vanish 'til death thanks to his monotonous tone of voice.

It was pointless to think about it, they both were suffering and now the rush of emotions washed them over, captured in a searing kiss like there’s no tomorrow. Ahsoka took away that tight t-shirt of his and touch every inch of his bare torso softly like she'd been afraid to rip his skin with her fingers. Rex's hands cupped her breast while licking her collarbone, could sense the vibrations from her throat that her moans were causing. His tongue were going lower and lower to kiss the middle of her chest, lick and suck each bosom, the sweet sound of hers just made his excitement increase and Ahsoka knew it. She stopped again, lay down his body for a better posture and travels her hips on his, Ahsoka started to grind down against him, Rex moaned with such a deep voice that made Ahsoka crumbled inside. The sensation was so electric, so addictive, Rex couldn't help but rock his hips up against hers, her entrance getting more wet due the rub they were doing.

"Rex!" she gasp, the massage tingles her inside her lower abdomen, meanwhile Rex caresses her breast and squeezes them. Travels his hands to her waist moving her a bit harder against his hips. His fingers tightens her bottom manipulating it because of the touch of her entrance with his erect member. It seems that Ahsoka was getting close to the peak of pleasure, her legs were starting to lock up, shivering, Rex notices this without knowing what to do but enjoy the view clutching at the sheets, relishing her taste, the taste of her tongue, her body. "Rex" she cries out again, the man holding her small waiting for orders of her commander.

"Rex, I... I want you, I want you inside" she begged out of breathe.Rex heed, rose up to embrace her and switch positions, carefuly placed her body in the bed. One arm held her shoulders tugging her closer to his chest, his free hand posed in her tummy feeling her heavy breathing. Such a want in her eyes, a burning desire glowing on her countenance, Rex trailed his fingertips to her bottom lip, the top of her cheek, her jaw. Placed his hand on the curve of her neck and kissed her again.

Seduced by the blaze, their bodies intertwining, being like a whole, rolling on the bed. There's a point that Ahsoka wraps his waist with her legs to immobilize him, Rex buries his arms under the pillow letting his body go down taking over Ahsoka's skin. Rex rubbed his hips against hers, both gasped loudy in the moment he gets inside her. Ahsoka opened her eyes as wide as she could due the spiral of rushing pleasure she was experiencing, Rex smirked looking at her expression and kept planting kisses over her temple and going down her jaw. Ahsoka sank her fingers over the heaving back of Rex as he was thrusting against her hips a slow rhythm, overwhelmed by the passionate pleasure burning inside of him; Ahsoka licked his neck while Rex squeezed her breast, releasing heavy groans by his part. The vibrations from his throat were exciting, erotic. Such stimulation provoked an increased rhythm on his movements, taking her hands above her head, Ahsoka closed her eyes letting being drift by the satisfaction and thrill.

"'Soka" he mumbled, she could barely hear him. His thrust were going faster and forceful every time, she was about to explode out full of passion and-

"Rex... Oh, Rex! I am... I-" whimpering weak until the burning pleasure dwelling inside of her core reached out to the highest point. A loud moan escape off of her lungs, but Rex wasn't done yet. Ahsoka was trembling and moaning, Rex still enjoyed her captivating body. Lied his head on the crook of her neck with his fanned breathing over her chest, his hips meeting hers insistent, faster thrusts until he finally came... Rex was labored breathing, his limbs were shivering, despite his current fatigue, his hips gave another couple of thrusts releasing a low groan after each one before pull out his erect member of her body.

"'Soka... I-" he breathed. She stared at him with tenderness and a quiet passion.

"Rex..." Ahsoka announced softly, looking for his eyes. "I love you". Rex gift her a wide smile over her confession and caresses her hot flushed face.

"Mesh'la," Rex kisses her, "Cyare," kisses her again, "I love you, too" kisses her one more time, "and my life is yours".

Even being tired and weak, Ahsoka found the strength to get up enough to embrace him, forcing him to lay back. Both gave into another passionate kiss to culminate their love. At the end, death or fear had no place in the room, not even the time have a meaning, an abyss collapses and consumes their solitude. What about the current war? What about the conflict? For them, for now there's no factions nor reasons to fight, the moment has vanquished the war. There's nothing else around.

* * * * *

Exhausted as hell, they sleep cuddled to recover energies. As expected, Rex is a man of light sleep, because of this, wakes up hearing his device was receiving a message. Carefully he abandons the bed trying to not to wake Ahsoka. Before taking his holo device, Rex puts on his blacks again to answer the call.

Rex watches the hologram, he's receiving new orders from a dark robed figure: "Execute Order 66".

"Yes, Lord Sidious", Rex responded.

Ahsoka was awaken already.

"Rex? What is it?" Ahsoka feared the worst, not because of the message, but the nightmare she had about her old master Skywalker and forced her to wake up.

"Find him... Fives, find him!" Rex looked chaotic, desperate. His voice was different, threatening.

"Rex...?" Ahsoka tried to approach him.

"FIND HIM!"

Rex started to shoot. Ahsoka evaded the blaster shots but is not enough, with the Force stopped him against the door. Unlocked it and pushed him out. She was scared, confused, her heart was racing as hell. The nightmares returned, she closed her eyes to concentrate about those dreams she just had. No doub it was about Anakin, something went wrong; so much suffering, chaos, anger... And now Rex is against her, why?

"Why he wants me dead if... He said he loved me, why he...?" her chest was aching so much, but she needs to calm down, she must know what just happened! She went for her clothes and lightsabers, got ready and the first thing she had in mind was Maul. He said this would happen, he must know something more.

Exiting the room, Rex wasn't there, looked everywhere to ensure the hallways were empty. A door opened and there he was with a bunch of clones by his side aiming her, ready to kill her.

"No, all of you go to the prision area and kill the sith. I'll take care of this, personally", Rex commanded.

Ahsoka couldn't understand but wonder what's going on and how she's gonna stop this maddnes? She knew about Tup and Fives, she knew something went wrong with them and died. Rex said "find him", and that's what she's going to do.

"Rex, what are you doing?", Ahsoka begged for an answer.

"The Jedi commited treason against the Republic, all of your kind must be executed", Rex said with conviction and coldness. "No exceptions".

* * * *

It's been a couple of weeks after the massacre against the Jedi Order, it's been a couple weeks the Venator crashed onto the surface of that moon. Rex and Ahsoka buried the bodies of the fallen clones found among the debris. Rex equipped the Y-wing bomber he piloted to escape from the Star Destroyer alonside Ahsoka.

She was mourning the soldiers, Rex watched her from behind drop her lightsaber on the ground in front of the fallen. Maybe to make it seem she died with them, maybe 'cause she couldn't do enough for them as a Jedi. Maybe she dropped her saber because she wasn't a Jedi anymore. Who knows.

She turned around to Rex and started to walk, Rex was approaching to her as well.

"Ahsoka?", like a man that used to have an strategy all the time and now has no idea of what's next since everything went to shit, tried to find some answers from his partner.

"We must go" Ahsoka couldn't watch him to his eyes. Her voice sounds so empty and scattered.

"'Soka...", Rex held her by her shoulder, took her upper arm and pulled her over him. "C-Cyare..." his voice were almost broken.

Rex embraces his mate from behind leaned his head on her montral. Ahsoka was hurt and hopeless that she couldn't be afraid even. What is the point of the Dark if it cannot control what's teared into pieces. Forsaken and broken, what else she could be? What else she could do?

Felt her legs too weak to keep standing up and just slipped down to the ground. Rex tried to keep her up but was useless. He ducked in front of her to see what's going on. Her intense blue kyber crystals started to cry, quietly sobbing took her hands to her face to cover her shame. Rex couldn't see her crying, he would do anything to stop her tears from falling, but for now, he comprehend she needed to let it out, all the frustration, the sadness, the failure.

"Forgive me, Rex. I-I can't... I can't for now", she sobbed. Rex didn't say a thing. He had no words to share, however, even if he didn't know, his presence was everything for her. It was a gift that the man she loves had survived, still, as a Force user, could feel the chaos and death provoked by the clones. It is such a wound inside that seems can't be healed. But now, she has to learn to live with that wound and the pain it causes to her. She must find a new way live, a new path to follow, and Rex would be there with her. Nothing matters now.

Ahsoka stands up, Rex helped her carefully. Look at his sad golden eyes for a moment and Rex caressed her cheek. Embraced her once more and said "Thank you for saving my life once again, cyar'ika". "You would have done the same for me, dear", she retorded.

Rex smiled her weakened, dried a tear from her cheek with his gloven thumb, and both aboard the Y-wing ship ready to go wherever the Force take them from now on.

#rexoka #rex x ahsoka #order 66 #fic request #captain rex #clone trooper rex #ahsoka tano #lady tano #darth maul #formely maul #maul #the clone wars movie #rex x reader #rex x reader ahsoka #yeah thats weird #took me a while but Im proud

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Text

03 | trouble | greg sanders | csi:vegas

Notes:

And we’re really getting into... Stuff.. Things.. Just trust me on this. I wanna say that I love you guys so much and thank you for putting up with / indulging my self indulgent fuckery... also before I go.. A huuuuge fucking hug to my bb @chasingeverybreakingwave because I love you and like... so much stuff just clicked after I told you my idea earlier. <3 I just hope you like it.

[ soundtrack ]

Pairing:

Greg Sanders x Sidle!OFC, Belle.

Summary:

From the word go, they’ve been pulled to each other...

Chapters:

[ one | two ]

Warnings:

Attempted murder, mentions of a crime, blood / injury... Suspense and fluff (if you squint).. There are... Major things at play, staring now. There’s still a lot of sexual tension too, but for right now... This is taking a front seat. You’ll see what I mean. If you enjoy Greggo playing hero, this ones for you.

Also.. I am.. not a professional in law enforcement. Nor am I claiming that I’ve ever experienced the shock or anything that Belle is going through. So, I’m doing my best and researching things. I apologize if any of this seems unrealistic. Or overdramatic. Overdone.. Or if I don’t get things just so. I’m trying, I promise.

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@twistnet

THREE

The fourth interview in a day. And the fourth time in a day that I came away with the sneaking suspicion that I wouldn’t be getting a call back. This time came with damn good reason however, the manager loved to come on real strong and he did so with me.

Apparently, if I want a decent job, it’s in my best interest to at least pretend to be interested. And maybe not tell the guy that I’ll grab his dick and twist if he accidentally brushes his hand against my leg again.

All I wanted to do was go back to Sara and Gil’s place and pour myself a glass of tequila. Get these stupid heels off. Sleep was out of the question, as per usual because I knew exactly what would happen the second I laid down and tried to close my eyes.. I’d hear the gunshot. I’d see the man stagger back and fall to the ground.. I’d smell the gunpowder residue and the coppery smell of blood in the air again.. I’d see Vinnie calmly take out the Bowie he kept on his belt out and lean in real close to the guy...

I shivered and hugged myself a little as I tried to shove the images out of my mind. A car revved up nearby and I tensed for a second.

The phone went off in my hand. The car went quiet and I relaxed a little. It had probably been a neighbor leaving. Or coming back from somewhere. Yeah, that’s it... Glancing down at my phone to see who’d just texted me. Letting out a ragged breath as I read the text even though I knew that as far as Vinnie went, his number was blocked. Convincing myself for the millionth time that he didn’t even notice my absence. That if he had, he was probably moved on by now.. That there was no way in hell he knew what I’d seen the night before I left town.

← How’d the job search go?

My sister, checking in. I bit my lip and laughed to myself, pausing in the parking lot to answer her really quickly.

I wasn’t really… paying attention to anything.

The car’s headlights lit up the night in front of me just seconds before I was tackled and grabbed, strong arms wrestling me to the sidewalk as my body settled on top of Greg’s and I felt a searing pain in my lower lip, the taste of copper filling my mouth and making me grimace. Because I immediately found myself thinking back to that last night in New Orleans.. Down in the alley. I flinched before I could stop myself.

The car that had been about to hit me just seconds before, slowed a moment and then sped off. Taillights glowing red. Fading out as it turned the corner sharp and disappeared.

Greg was sitting up, this put me in his lap. “Are you okay?” Greg was checking me over in concern, grimacing at my busted lip.

I was still in shock that I’d almost been run over by a car, so it took a few more attempts to get my attention but finally, I managed to look at him.

“Did you see the plates? Anything?” Greg was talking calmly, being firm with me. I shook my head no at his question. I hadn’t seen the plates, that wasn’t a lie. I just didn’t think to mention that I didn’t need to see them because I knew exactly who the car that just tried to run me down belonged to now that I was thinking about the whole thing and the shock was beginning to wear off. My stomach was sinking as the reality of the situation truly dawned on me.

Knowing that Vinnie Devore was here in Vegas sent a chill down my spine. Because if he was here then that meant that he knew that I knew his secret. And if he knew that I knew his secret, I was in deeper than I thought originally.

He unrolled the sleeves of his button up shirt, using it to press carefully against my lip. “Sorry, I guess when I grabbed you and we fell, you bit your lip.”

Greg eyed me. I don’t think he believed a word I said. “You’re sure you didn’t see anything.”

“Just the fact that the car was that navy black color?” I did my best at playing dumb as much as I hated doing so. “Maybe it was just an accident.” I fell silent because I knew he didn’t buy it, I could tell from the look in his eyes when they fixed on mine.

Greg removed the sleeve of his shirt from my bottom lip and gave it a critical look over. “There’s no way that was an accident, Belle. The person driving that car clearly saw you. They had to.”

My stomach rolled as he pointed out the obvious. I knew it already, but the way he pointed it out only hammered home the point of exactly how deep in over my head I was. I gulped and nodded. Letting out a ragged breath or two when I realized that he wasn’t going to ask me any further questions.

“Can we just..” I stammered out shakily, “Go inside please?” I locked eyes with him, giving him my best pleading look.

Fear is what made me cautiously press against him a little. That’s what I’ll go with until my dying day. I was scared to death, everything crashing down on me the way it was at that moment in time. Greg felt safe. Sturdy. Real.

Awkwardly, his arms went around me. Pulled me just a little closer. I leaned my head against his chest, trying to calm down and catch my breath because I’d just realized I was shaking all over. Tearing up but trying to be stubborn and not start crying like I wanted to so badly I could feel the tears stinging at my eyes.

When he pulled away to look at me, I didn’t even realize I was crying until his thumb rolled over my cheek. “Yeah, let’s get you inside. I can take a better look at your lip.” shaking his head in worry. “ I wish I’d have gotten a better look at the plates. As soon as I know you’re fine, I’m calling it in.”

I could only nod. I was barely processing everything that had just happened. And one thing was painfully clear the more I managed to process. Hearing him say that he was calling it in only made me want to protest, to plead with him not to, but honestly at the moment I was just too damn tired and afraid. And wallowing in the foolishness of my own course of actions taken that lead to this point...How in the hell could I have even remotely thought there was a chance that Vinnie hadn’t figured out that I’d witnessed what he’d done? Did I really think I could just vanish and block Vinnie on everything and forget what I’d seen that night?

Did I honestly think that nightmares were all that I was going to come out of this with? If so, I’d been stupid as all hell.

I pulled myself away from Greg and out of his lap. He stood and eyed the way I was wincing as I stood there next to him, legs a little wobbly still and my ankle practically screaming at me in pain. “Are you alright to walk?”

“It’ll be fine.” I did my best to convince him. At this point I didn’t want anything but to get inside. Somewhere safer. Off my ankle. ,,and out of the wide open because you know Vinnie’s not magically going to disappear. Not til he’s gotten rid of you.” the intrusive thought sent a shiver through me and Greg shook his head, scooping me up in his arms when I took a step and grimaced, but stubbornly tried to take a few more, determined.

“I would’ve been able to make it.” I insisted, stubbornly.

“It’s already swelling really bad. We need to get you inside and make sure your lip doesn’t need stitches and that your ankle is really alright.” Greg insisted right back, equally as stubborn. “If you need the ER, you’re going.”

“I’ll be fine. My ankle is made of glass. And my lip is okay. Just a little tender.” I was panicking at the thought of having to explain what nearly happened to me again. Because Greg hadn’t asked too many questions yet... I knew that anyone else would.

“I’ll be fine.”

We walked through the lobby of his building, stopping at the elevator. By now, I’d pretty much resigned myself to the fact that no matter how much I insisted I was going to be fine, he was going to carry me. And as scared as I was in the heat of the moment, the more I was coming to terms with the fact that maybe right now, that was for the best.

He sat me down on the kitchen table once we were in his apartment and that tension was there again. Lingering between us both heavily. For a few seconds, Greg paced in front of me, caught up in anger at the situation before turning his attention back to me. Asking me all the questions he’d asked me earlier.

And asking them again.

And the harder I fought to keep it all in, the more I wanted to tell him everything. I finally managed to tell him the make of the car and when he asked if anyone would have anything against me that’d make them try to run me down in a parking lot, I didn’t lie about that.

I didn’t go into specifics, either.

But I didn’t hide the fact that I had come to Las Vegas because I’d left my ex fiance. Since me calling in an anonymous tip hadn’t done anything to bring justice to the situation yet... Maybe if I dropped his name for this, maybe the thing I’d witnessed would be discovered too. That sliver of hope surfaced before I could stop it. I tried to shove it down, remind myself that Vinnie was good at manipulating events. That the only way this ended was with me dead and Vinnie walking free and if I deluded myself otherwise, I was stupider than I felt right now.

“My ex fiance might. I did leave. I had to...” I went quiet. The truth was right there, right on the tip of my tongue. Everything I’d seen that night. Every nightmare since.

“What do you mean you had to?” Greg asked, his eyes fixing on me, expecting an answer.

“The guy was scum, okay? And his scary side came out. I couldn’t... I couldn’t handle it.”

I started to replay what I’d seen out behind the bar that night in my mind and I broke down, sobbing. I think Greg took it as something entirely different, that Vinnie had actually done something to me... Not what he’d actually done.

His fingers curled beneath my chin, making me look at him.

“If you’re scared of the guy, Belle, you don’t have to be. You only have to tell me his name, okay? Can you do that for me?”

“Vinnie. His name’s..” I trailed off, taking a shaky breath, “Vinnie.”

Greg’s jaw set and I swallowed hard. I could tell he was getting angry all over again about the whole thing. Not at me, but at what he was probably assuming what had happened to me before I left New Orleans...

“Devore. It’s Vinnie Devore.” I couldn’t stop myself from giving up his full name. Vinnie needed to pay for what he’d done. I couldn’t just go on living my life knowing that he was out there, somewhere.. That he’d killed once and he might just kill again.

But at the same time, I got this chill. Like I’d just signed my own death warrant.

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do, Belle.. We’re going down to the station. Because if this guy might come after you again, someone needs to know.”

I eyed him, reluctant. At first, I wanted to shake my head. Sheer terror over what might happen to me if Vinnie became aware that I may have told someone what he’d done that night took over and I shook my head no. Greg gripped my jaw lightly, making me look at him. “We have to. It’s not up for discussion, okay? I’m going to be with you. There’s no reason to be scared.”

Oh but he had no idea, really.. Because he hadn’t seen what I’d seen that night. He didn’t know just how dangerous it was to make an enemy of a man like Vinnie.

Honestly, I never would have if not for that night.

,, that night probably saved your life, Belle. Let’s be honest here. Because if he could just kill somebody like that... sooner or later, he would’ve hurt you.” the thought came and I sighed, giving in because I saw that Greg clearly wasn’t going to budge.

“Does Sara know what went on?”

“She knows she didn’t fucking like him. And that I left him. I... I’d rather not tell her the rest.”

I’d honestly rather die than tell her the truth, but I didn’t dare tell Greg that. For now, it was for the best that he assumed that I was the person Vinnie hurt. I took a deep breath and eyed Greg.

“I’ll tell Sara eventually, I promise. The last thing I want right now is for big sister to swoop in and clean up my mess, yet again.”

It was a half truth. Only this time around, I was keeping her out of this to keep her safe. It was bad enough that I was in over my head.

I’d already lost our parents. I’d already lost other people I loved. I couldn’t... I wouldn’t lose her too.

Whatever happened to me, that was on me. But if I could help it, I wanted to keep Sara from even being slightly aware of what was going on. It was my turn to protect her this time.

“If we’re going to the station we’d better get going.” I muttered the words in a flat tone. Greg nodded. He gazed at me a few seconds that seemed to drag on for hours and finally, after he took a few deep breaths himself, probably to calm down because he’d gotten angry during my answering his questions, he took a few deep breaths and nodded, firmly. “Yeah. we should get going. I meant what I said, Belle. You don’t have to be afraid, okay?”

Oh.. I had every reason to be. And I was. Nothing would change that.

#greg sanders fanfiction #greg sanders fanfic #greg sanders imagine #greg sanders imagines #my writing ; greg sanders #my fanfiction ; greg sanders #my fics ; greg sanders #// strong tws here: attempted murder / blood injury tw #// other tws : discussion of a murder #// i just hope this turned out okay. I worked my ass off to get it as accurate as I could.

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