#some contradiction is natural btw

[gendrie]

curretly thinking how much Arya would have loved Arianne or Margaery, they would have really helped her be the person she wanted to be. Arya would have loved them so much and I'm sure if Arya had known them she would have wished they were her sister.

its a fun and interesting thing to consider on a lot of different levels (which i guess is why your ask inspired me to go off on some insane tangent)

margaery has quite a bit in common with arya: avid horseback riders, highly sociable, energetic, close with her brothers. its funny that sansa views one as her ideal sister while continuing to disparage her real sister's ghost as marg takes her on an active, outdoorsy date where they're hunting and riding (not unlike what arya wanted to do in sansa's 1st chapter) generally, arya was restricted from hunting type hobbies.......despite the fact it always been a common activity for highborn women.

which is a major flaw in grrm's early worldbuilding that marg and arianne (among MANY others) emphasize. in agot we get a glimpse into arya's upbringing and the expectation is an extremely narrow feminine ideal. sure, arya is given a lot of freedom to play but her (and sansa's) education is mostly left to an incompetent septa. they're clearly being molded for a mostly ornamental role and that is at odds with the rest of the text. ive complained about this before bc catelyn is not a vain character. she values practicality and duty. she was a teen bride and ran riverrun (+winterfell) from a young age. so why are her daughters being turned into dolls by an outsider? why werent practical skills prioritized?

for relevant context: in agot im fairly certain we get only one (1) adult northern born woman on page: maege mormont who is fierce, outspoken, and wields a weapon. (slightly ot note:) i hate the show as much as the next person but arya being a proficient archer from jump wasnt actually a half bad idea........precedent for that in canon too from rohanne webber to alysanne blackwood to ygritte. the wildlings are another notable example of northern women. so riddle me this: if 99% of the north's female characters break the feminine mold (lyanna, arya, wylla, the mormonts, the wildlings, meera, alys) why are they treated as the exception by the fandom? *syrio voice* i am wondering! (im not actually its bc tumblr dot com values the traditionally feminine ideal)

and i dont buy that its exclusively a north vs. south issue. when we meet the tyrell women we see that marg has been raised by olenna to be shrewd and capable. but catelyn is a deadbeat mother lol. neither arya or sansa think about her giving them guidance, advice, lessons, ect. arya was, apparently, just told to look pretty. catelyn's main memory of sansa is that she has nice hair. like.......ok. grrm is on record saying he regrets not developing the relationship between cat and her daughters, but unlike my next point this is something he never even tried to fix.

theres a real lack of female companions in general to start. now to grrms credit he clearly realized this oversight AND attempted to course correct with success imo. ie: arya's storyline in braavos features a lot of female characters (a trend i expect to only grow stronger in twow). as do most of the others.

arianne and her crew are an even more dramatic southron example. arya is treated like a freak for wanting basic autonomy; then we go to dorne and those girlies do whatever the hell they want for the most part: spears, studies, sex, ect. doran only draws the line at treason bc they were fucking up his own shit. but yeah needless to say arya wouldve flourished.

similarly, i love to think about arya being fostered on bear island or post series some of them joining arya's household. im genuinely desperate to see her interacting with the mormonts. i start shaking when i think about aly en route to braavos.

my point here is that i think the dynamic we're introduced to in winterfell, among the female characters, in agot looks very unusual in hindsight. and the worst part is that arya gets regarded by the fandom as a pariah who's only fate could be exile bc she doesnt meet an oppressive standard set by one annoying septa who made her feel bad about herself.

#ask #i didnt realize i had so many thoughts on this lol #some contradiction is natural btw #but i think a lot of it is just a symptom of first book world building being less developed

[ferociouslycreativemystery]

Me: I'm fine about my autism now btw, like I've come to terms with my fixated interests, limited tolerances and social inabilities. The alienation it brings is not ideal but it's just a reality I've gotta deal with now that I know it's just a part of who I am. I mean, it's not like an awkward conversation is gonna ruin anyone's life, is it? We'll both move on from it eventually. This is fine!

Also me: physically unable to watch beyond the first word of the first question of The Assembly because oh my god what if someone says something awkward or controversial or someone can't make themselves understood people are gonna get mad and scream about it online and I will freeze up and be stuck in the backlash forever I don't know how to handle conflict AT ALL let's just hide in the corner behind the sofa instead wait what if I became a hermit actually yeah yeah yeah that sounds good let's do that

#unresolved trauma? never even heard of her haha 😅 #maddie debrief #that 2-minute intro/taster did nothing to calm me down either btw #I'm never comfortable around the types of shows where 'difference' becomes the core conceit of the premise #oh. so you've created a format dependent on making a socially alienated group face the social rules that made them alien in the first place #and then deriving your conflict from the 'natural contradiction' between the two? #sounds like the exact kind of conflict-seeking environment where I can let my normal guard down enough to meaningfully challenge #my deeply rooted feeling that people generally find me cumbersome to be around and mostly just tolerate my presence out of necessity #lovely that #(like i say I haven't seen the show #so idk if it is actually like that or if it's just the promo material stirring shit up as per usual #but as of rn I do not feel welcome in this room) #why does the 'we're not so different after all' always have to come at the climax and never the midpoint of the story? #why can we never find more than personal gratification in that realisation? #why do we always focus on the difficulty of coming to the realisation rather than the conflict of putting the realisation into *practice*? #I know why #it is because the human imagination is far more limited than we like to believe #and we find it hard to even *imagine* a world that we haven't seen functioning for ourselves yet #let alone find a purpose in *acting* on the idea #(especially if we ourselves currently feel dependent on the status quo for our personal welfare #which is why shows made to depend on 'difference = conflict' make my blood run cold) #so if we have to see to believe - how many cases of real world functioning equity does the average person understand? #very few. so let's instead lazily invert the state of power in an existing dynamic that people are familiar with #thereby reaffirming its false dichotomy through perpetuating what is essentially the same old conflict #while claiming to subvert it when in fact all we have done is reverse the dominance while keeping everyone locked in their roles #can someone just put some thought into how we might create a format that aims to loosen up the underlying skewed power dyanmic #so that everyone has to work together to prevent the elevation of a single way of being over all others #because that just becomes suffocating to *everyone* in the end #and that can still *acknowledge difference* but not as a source of conflict - rather as a source of collective strength? #but the story of changing one perspective will always be easier to both tell and enjoy than the one about building something new

[sunflowerabyss]

Hi!! Omg i just discovered your stories and i LOVE them!! There's not enough fics about older remus, i love that you write for him🙌🏼 so i have a request: Could you write something with Older remus and younger reader who is Severus's little sister? (Like maybe Tonks age). Where they met at the Order but him and Sirius don't trust her at first because she dresses in all black (very typical witchy aesthetic, just like Severus) and has a serious resting face so she doesn't look very friendly... but then he realizes she's actually shy and sweet and bubbly.

Idk, that's the general idea i have, you'll have to see how to make them end up together🤭 Btw, if you don't like the idea don't worry! Just ignore it😁

Dances in the Dark

Pairings: Older!Remus Lupin x Fem!Younger!Reader

A/N: Awww, first off, thank you for your kind words! I love older Remus and feel like he doesn't get the recognition he deserves. I hope I lived up to your expectations, it was a fun write!

Warnings: Age gap (reader is 25), Fluff

___________________________________________________

As Severus Snape's younger sister, you were a study in contrasts. At twenty-five, your age belied the depth of experience etched onto your features. Growing up in the shadow of your elder brother's reputation had forged you into a resilient and independent witch. The Snape bloodline ran thick with a unique blend of brilliance and tenacity, traits that manifested in both Severus and yourself.

Your magical abilities exceeded those of many your age, a fact that had earned you a place within the Order of the Phoenix. The decision to allow you to join the ranks was met with skepticism, especially from Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

It was this very similarity that triggered distrust among some Order members. Remus and Sirius, in particular, eyed you warily, wary of potential deception or hidden agendas.

The first time Remus Lupin laid eyes on you, he couldn't help but draw parallels between your demeanor and that of your older brother. Dressed in all black, your attire mirrored Severus's signature aesthetic, and your serious resting face painted you in the same guarded hues. You exuded an aura of stern determination, an exterior that echoed the standoffish nature associated with the Snape name.

Sirius Black, ever the provocateur, couldn't resist making a snarky comment. As they stood in the corridor outside the meeting room, Sirius leaned in, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Did you notice, Remus? Little Miss Snape over there is like a mini Snivellus. Same brooding aesthetic, same unimpressed face. Bet she's got a cauldron of bat spleens hidden in that black dress of hers."

Remus shot Sirius a disapproving glance, his eyes narrowing. "Sirius, she's here to help. Let's not jump to conclusions quite yet."

Sirius chuckled, undeterred by Remus's disapproval. "Right you are, Moony. But a Snape is a Snape, and you know how much I trust them."

Remus sighed, realizing that getting Sirius to see past his biases would be a battle of its own. Truth is though, Remus isn't sure if he can trust you either. Sure, Severus helped him brew Wolfsbane, but that was under Dumbledore's order. Remus still wouldn't trust him as far as he can throw him.

As the meeting progressed, Remus couldn't help but keep a watchful eye on you. The air thickened with tension, and the wariness in the room mirrored the doubt that clung to you.

He observed from a distance, noting the way you isolated yourself, much like Severus. Yet, amidst the stoicism, there were subtle moments that caught his attention--a fleeting smile, a quiet chuckle at a fellow member's joke. These small glimpses contradicted the Snape facade, hinting at a more complex persona beneath the surface.

After the meeting concluded, Remus decided to approach, determined to unravel the mystery behind your Severus-esque facade.

"Severus's sister, right?" Remus inquired, his voice a blend of curiosity and caution. You met his gaze, and the intensity in your eyes surprised him. It was a gaze that held secrets, a silent challenge.

"Yes. Y/N," you replied, your tone measured.

"It's good to have you here with the Order."

"It's good to be with the Order."

Remus nodded, though uncertainty lingered. Over the following weeks, he observed you from a distance, noticing your tendency to retreat into the shadows, engrossed in books and spellwork.

Remus eventually found himself enchanted by the subtle charms of you. As you immersed yourself in the world of books, Remus couldn't help but notice the endearing quirks that made you all the more captivating. The gentle kick of your feet, an unconscious expression of joy, as you delved into the pages of a captivating novel added a playful touch to your serious demeanor. During spellwork, your movements were a graceful dance of magic, revealing a finesse and dedication that spoke volumes about your skill. In moments of solitude, Remus caught the soft chuckle you tried to stifle at the humor within the pages of a book or the unexpected outcome of a spell. The quiet library echoed with the delighted squeal that escaped your lips when you ventured into the realm of romance novels, a momentary lapse into unabashed joy. Your serious exterior slowly cracked, revealing a shy and sweet nature that few took the time to uncover.

Every night at Grimmauld Place was draped in an uneasy stillness, and the weight of the impending war pressed heavily on your shoulders. Unable to find sleep, you found refuge in the dimly lit library, the soft glow of candles flickering in tandem with the music streaming quietly through an old record player. Your fingers traced the edges of an old book as lyrics danced in your ears, a desperate attempt to find tranquility in the chaos.

Remus, too, roamed the halls restlessly, unable to succumb to the embrace of sleep. The subtle melody of muggle music drew him toward the library, and as he entered, he discovered you immersed in the world of both literature and music. The sight was enchanting--you, surrounded by the soft glow, lost in the rhythm of the night.

A gentle clearing of his throat alerted you to Remus's presence. Startled, you turned around, a sheepish smile playing on your lips. "Sorry if I woke you up," you apologized, the sincerity in your voice echoing in the quiet room.

Remus shook his head, a small smile forming. "No need to apologize. I was already awake. Mind if I join you?"

A nod of agreement passed between you, and Remus took a seat across from you. The awkward tension that had lingered in the air seemed to dissipate as he asked, "What keeps you up at this hour?"

You sighed, your eyes reflecting the weariness that clung to your soul. "Just trying to find some peace amidst the chaos, I guess."

Remus understood, a shared sentiment etched on his features. "I feel the same. The world outside these walls is anything but quiet."

The conversation flowed naturally as you both discussed the music, finding common ground in the tunes that resonated with you. The library transformed into a haven where the war seemed distant, if only for a moment. As one song faded into another, a daring thought crossed your mind.

"Would you like to dance?" you asked, your voice carrying a hint of vulnerability.

Remus blinked in surprise, his expression softening. "Dance? Here?"

A mischievous grin tugged at your lips as you stood, offering your hand. "Why not? Sometimes, we need a little escape, don't we?"

Remus hesitated for a moment before accepting your hand, rising to his feet. The room became a canvas for an impromptu dance, the soft music wrapping around you like a protective cloak. In the quiet elegance of the moment, you spoke words that had lingered unspoken.

"I know my presence brings uncertainty, given Severus's reputation," you confessed, eyes searching Remus's for understanding.

He nodded, his movements mirroring yours in the dance. "It did, at first."

The admission hung in the air, but instead of casting a shadow, it became a bridge between you. Remus continued, "But I've come to see the person behind the name, the one who finds comfort in the quiet of the night, just like me."

In the midst of the war's cacophony, you and Remus found a moment of respite, a connection forged in the gentle sway of a library dance. As the mellow notes of the music enveloped the dimly lit library, you found yourself in a moment of quiet intimacy with Remus. The dance had woven a delicate connection between you, as Remus' arms encircled you, holding you close.

Feeling a surge of courage, you rested your head against Remus's chest, finding solace in the rhythmic cadence of his heartbeat. It thudded beneath your ear, a rapid tempo that betrayed a subtle undercurrent of nerves. The music continued, its gentle melody seemingly synchronized with the quickened beats of Remus's heart. Remus tightened his embrace.

The library, with its flickering candles and ancient tomes, became a sanctuary where the chaos of war retreated, leaving only two hearts finding each other.

Unbeknownst to you both, Sirius stood in the shadows, a silent observer of the scene unfolding before him. His eyes, typically sharp and filled with mischief, softened as he witnessed the unspoken bond between Remus and Severus Snape's sister. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, a rare moment of warmth and understanding. As he quietly retreated back to his room, he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. Severus is gonna be so mad.

#remus lupin #remus x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #older!remus lupin #older!remus lupin x reader #older!remus lupin x you #older!remus lupin x y/n #sirius black #severus snape

[lookismfanfics]

asking for samuel fluff cus lord 😔🤞 I LOVEEEEEE UR FICS BTW I CANT GET ENOUGH OF OF THEM OMFG

𝐀𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞

Samuel Seo x GN Reader

Drabble

Warnings: It’s not in my usual head cannon-thing format 😳 Fluff, unedited, probably brainrot, cursing, fem pronouns may have slipped in there…

Samuel rests his head in his hands. He wonders what the hell he did to deserve this agony. He knows he’s been a bit of an arse lately, but for the world to curse him even further was a bit unnecessary. Even a little insulting.

He felt like life almost always dealt him a bad hand. For example… today… He’s sitting on an expensive hotel bed, waiting for Eugene to call him to the conference room. Kneading his forehead tenderly, using his rough finger-pads to massage his temples. Samuel has a massive headache. It feels like his hairline is splitting… there’s a sharp throb in the center of his forehead. It reminds him of all his worst hangovers; but amplified. And this time he didn’t have someone doting on him… soothing him and nursing him like a pathetic baby. Even if neither of you really expressed genuine concern or gratitude, you were both aware of the feelings were there.

He feels so, so stupid. Like a pathetic, helpless wimp. And he hates it. But simultaneously, his emotions contradict. As he rubs soothing circles into his temples, letting out heavy breaths of frustration.

“I’m so pathetic…” he says bitterly. And even if it sounds sour to say out loud… he can feel warmth in his chest. As much as he tells himself how infuriating it is to be doted-on and pampered, he can never stop the smile that curves on his lips. He’s never admitting it… but it’s not as bad as he makes it seem.

His fingers hover over your number. You’re only a couple rooms away. You’re so close to him. More than capable of helping alleviate the pain in his head. You answer the phone. “(Y/N)?” He almost hates the way your name rolls off his tongue so easily, like second nature. Almost. “Today sucks,” he sighs. “I got a headache.”

There’s a pause on the other side of the line. He can hear (Y/N) rummaging through some loose papers. Admittedly, he does feel a little irked at their apparent lack of concern. His blood spores release a heavy tint of color in his cheeks and neck. He’s so damnably uncomfortable- but he can’t help himself from craving your presence. “What do you want me to do about it, Sammy?” You finally. Even the sound of your voice relieves the pain in Samuel’s head. It’s like antidote he didn’t know he needed.

He feels like letting out a frustrated sigh, but holds back. His brows furrow into a tight knit. Fingers stroke loosely through his thick threads of hair, he rubs his palm against his forehead. “You have time to come over, don’t you?” It’s less of a question and more of a statement. Samuel “hates” when you act all difficult.

He hates the way your nonchalance sends more waves of heat up his body. This is so childish. The way he suddenly wants to close up, or smile and giggle like a schoolgirl- it’s absolutely childish.

You let out a small chuckle, “Yeah I guess I do.”

There’s a pause before you continue. Outwardly Samuel is slouching on his bed, still kneading his forehead and leaning into the phone. Inwardly he’s smirking broadly despite his obvious giddiness.

“What’s your room number?” You ask.

“302.”

“All the way up there…?”

“F*ck you.”

“Shut up. I’ll be there soon.”

Samuel concludes that sick days aren’t so bad when (Y/N) is around. Hangovers aren’t as unbearable as he originally thought. Random headaches are tolerable. Just as long as (Y/N) is around to dote on him. Just as long as he can feel their fingers stroking through his hair as he drifts off to sleep. Listen to them make phone calls, telling his subordinates and fellow Executives that he’s unable to attend work. As long as he can feel their knuckles brush against his cheek, and watch wordlessly as they pamper him. If (Y/N) is available to baby him (as much as he hates the term) then he’ll be alright. In fact… he sort of likes it.

At the end of the day, he might just return your affection. Your lips press warmly against his temple. “G’night Samuel.”

His lips brush hesitantly against your neck. “Night.”

A/N: Anon you’re so sweet! :,) Sorry everyone for being so inactive! And sorry to my male! Reader anons who requested things forever ago! I will finish them asap 😭

Also this is sorta dedicated to @wannaeatramyeon for their Vin Jin spams that inspired me to post again 🥲

#lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism x reader #samuel seo #Samuel Seo x Reader #GN reader #Lookism GN Reader #Samuel Seo x GN reader #Fluff #Samuel Seo fluff

[shades-of-dark-gray]

"You Do the Shooting, I'll Catch the Bullet"

In my last post I established that Aziraphale and Crowley's marital issues are due to the repeated misunderstanding of the other's motives.

Now I'm going to talk about...

✨️ ✝️Christianity ✝️✨️

A lot of the conflict in the show comes from morality imbalance. Black and white thinking. Both Aziraphale and Crowley have an instinctual set of morals that contradict both heaven and hell.

And yet... both continue to assume the other's morals align with their respective head offices.

[Quick reminder that Aziraphale tried to blast Adam's ass with the Thundergun, btw]

As we know, the two greatest sins in Christianity are:

Murder (obv) aaaaaand you guessed it...

✨️ BOINKING ✨️

[If you are Christian and this is not your belief, I mean no offense, I was raised in a cult, and I'm going off my magnified experience] 

Anyway, murder 🤝 sex

So I'd like to examine the RoMaNTic undertones and film parallel with the use of:

weapons 🤝 romance

"You do the shooting, I'll catch the bullet. I'll do all the hard bits."

Idk where I read this post, but it said something along the lines of Aziraphale assumes that if anything were ever to happen between them, Crowley would have to initiate it because he's a big bad demon and lust/longing are sourced right outta hell.

[Asmodeus if you will]

"As a demon, you must have fired off a lot of guns, yeah?"

Crowley's reaction is both priceless and telling

Essentially Aziraphale is saying: You're a demon so you would have probably shot some people/things/stuff

Even though the audience knows that's not really in Crowley's nature, Aziraphale holds this bias still and that's half of why they're NOT TOGETHER AFTER SEASON TWO

When they ineffably end up together, Aziraphale is going to have to do the shooting.

Let me drive this point home with some PG-13 content. Remember how we established violence=sex in Christianity?

Let's examine that. If we change the dialogue from: "As a demon, you must have fired off a lot of guns, yeah?"

To: "As a demon, you must have taken a lot of lovers, yeah?"

Ehem... if we want to talk about 'shooting' and 'catching'...

✨️anyways✨️

Aziraphale doesn't realize that Crowley is a lot more pure (of heart and virtue) than he thinks, even if he does believe Crowley is a good person. And we see over and over that Crowley doesn't want him to think he's good. In fact, he's very defensive about it.

[Insert homoerotic wall scene]

From my experience, falling from grace instills a deep-rooted belief that you are EVIL, which takes years to undo (Maybe even 6000?)

Before Crowley and Aziraphale can fully be with each other, Crowley is going to have to face his internalized self-loathing, and I think Aziraphale will need to help him do it. (And vice-versa)

#i apologize for this #i am a marriage and couples therapist in training #and i cannot not see these things in film anymore #had to put the thoughts down so my brain can stop rotting #good omens #good omens essay #good omens analysis #crowley character development #good omens character analysis #fan theory #good omens fan theory #anthony j crowley #crowley #Aziraphale #a.z. fell #angel crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #bullet catch #bullet catch theory #mineblr #david tennant #michael sheen #go2 #go2 analysis

[midheavenastrology]

✿❁Observations on Venus ♀︎and Mars♂︎ signs ❁✿

🍵Virgo - so Virgo rules the 6th house of health/well being. Virgo is also the perfectionist. Y’all have definite HIGH ass standards (I can relate: I’m a Virgo moon) what I’ve noticed is that strong virgo placements tend to like “fit” peeps, like they admire when you work out or have some kind of work out routine. Oh and plz be clean and smell nice 4 them 🧼🫧🧴😇 also “acts of service” is their Numbero uno love language “ babe I took out the trash 444 u 😏”

🍵Leo: y’all rule the heart ❤️ chakra so it’s really about love for u. Like u care less about looks and more about how much ur heart feels in tune with them. U love romance, but old school romance 💘 like 🍷 wine and dine 🍛🍽️me then call me daddy 😩lol. U usually date someone who’s a lil high maintenance, maybe a bit of a drama queen/king🤴👸iz da royal vibe tho.

🍵Capricorn : It’s def about brains for u 🧠🧐Like u can’t do dum dum babes- it makes u pucker in disdane. U want someone with goals, dreams. Someone who u can stand next 2 and be proud of. Like, this bish is a CEO of their company 🤑damnnnn. U like structure/control. Ur probs a bit of a control freak. 🪢It’s otay, just remember u can only control ur own needs. Truth is u need to feel secure to let ur guard down (probs where the control comes in) just like ur sister sign Cancer 🤗

🍵Aquarius: similar to Virgo, y’all tend to like fit, skinner peeps. You like someone that’s a little off the cuff, whether it’s how they think, dress or have like one lazy eye or some shit. 😎😎😎 the cool underdogs are ur cup of tea 🍵 for shore. U enjoy space in the relationship. Space literally 👽🛸and space between seeing each other..like u can literally go weeks without hangin with the other. My Pisces Venus shudders lol 😂

🍵Cancer: you’re the mother, the nurturer 🌝 so u want someone that is compassionate, sweet 🍰🍭🧁and receptive. You don’t like when someone is 2 aggressive 👿Just like the crab 🦀 u hide in ur shell 🐚 if someone is like “hey bb, let’s fuck” Just like the tides of the moon 🌚 🌝u can be moody so u need someone to be able to hold ur emotions. Be gentle with them. Be patient. The sweetest love 💗

🍵Scorpio: ya’ll naturally attract mystics 🪄🧚‍♂️🧝‍♀️and witchy 🧙‍♀️types. Who’s to say these types are ur ideal tho. Maybe they be, maybe not. U like deep deep divin into the psychological 🔎👩‍🏫underpinnings of ur lover. U want 2 kno every lover they’ve had before u, u just do ok, even if it hurts u. Lol. U like deep, soulful seggs 🫦🤫When u trust, u give endlessly, but when ur betrayed, u get daggers 🗡️ in ur eyes.

🍵Aries: oh gawd, y’all just love the chase 🏃‍♀️🏃🏃‍♂️don’t u ? 🍒 u love it so much that when things settle down, u don’t know what to do with yourself lol. Das why, u love independence, u also like it when the person is direct, but plz let an Aries take the lead lol. U like when the person surprises you 😱🤯😲keeps things fresh 🍑🍆Clingy is the opposite of what u need. But u contradict because ur secretly a BiG baby 👶🏻🍼🤗inside that needs to be coddled lol. Dilemma 🤔

🍵Pisces: it me ! So Venus is exalted in Pisces. It means Venus just LOVES 🥰🥰🥰being in Pisces, it’s the honorary guest y’all. So sweet, so sentimental, so love. Gotta be careful tho, cus u can put peeps on pedestals 🧎‍♀️🛐with dem rose 🌹 colored glasses 🤓 lol. If you’ve ever been loved by a Venus in Pisces, count urself lucky 🍀 AF. They will love u so deeply, cosmically 🔮and without boundaries- the purest love on this earth plane y’all. I cry 🥺🥺🥺

🍵Gemini: I like to call this Venus placement, mind fuckers: u fuck with ur mind 💭💬🗯️All the air placements do honestly. No mind connection, GTFO. I’d say y’all are less sexually aggressive tbh. More flowy (unless u got some srs fire placements, cus fire placements do be smashing all day long) again, like Aquarius, u like space 🛸☄️🚀in ur relationships. Hella flirty 🫦🫦🫦with ur words (most air placements are btw) one thing; if these cats lose interest in u, the number 1 tall tell sign is they stop communicating 🙊🙊🙊as frequently lol

🍵Sagittarius: usually you’re into foreign peeps, because Sag rules the 9th house of foreign places 🌁🌆🌌🚞🧳🚢You like the unknown, so u seek it. Someone who speaks a different language 🗣️than u is such a turn on. Someone who drinks coffee differently from u is such a turn on. Ur less discriminatory when it comes to looks- very open minded 🙌After all, y’all are the explorers of the zodiac. You want to explore ALL the options big, small, in between etc 😏😏😏

🍵Taurus: cus ur ruled by Venus…ngl, u like pretty, u like beauty 💋💄👗. U like when someone is put together and cute. U like good manners and nice smells 👃U like to take it slow and steady, becus they always win 🏆 the race ya kno ? U like sensory feels, like ur probs into some domination in bed yes yes ??? ⛓️🔗U like honesty, consistency and stability. Don’t lie to them…you’ll never be forgiven ever ever ever.

🍵Libra: also ruled by Venus, so u like someone clean, lean and charming. Ur a natural flirt 🫦so u don’t mind if ur other is one too. Keeps things fresh right ? U like someone that says please and thank you. Ur a sucker for a pretty face, but a bigger sucker for a pretty brain. The two combined: big time score 4 u. Y’all really love love 🥰🥰🥰u like bein in love and thinkin about it and romanticizing about it but when ur in it, u just can’t decide - u probs left someone on read a couple times and ghosted 👻them cus u felt pressure to decide lol. 🥲

Das all y’all ! Hope this was helpful 🤗🤗🤗

Thanks so much 444 reading and supporting !

Love y’all 🥰🥰🥰🥰

#astro observations #tumblr astrology #astrology #zodiac #capricorn #gemini #scorpio #taurus #aquarius #astrology compatibility #astrology relationships #libra sun #love language #spirituality #sagittarius #venusians #astro notes #astrology observations #Venus #mars #synastry

[subdee]

Phantom Troupe thoughts

SPOILERS FOR MANGA CHAPTERS 395 and 396!!!!!

...Ahem.  I haven’t checked the main tag or been on tumblr much in the last few weeks so forgive me if this is old news but... catching up on Hunter x Hunter and can’t believe that in the year of our lord 2022, we finally have canon confirmation that the Sheila conspiracy theorists were right all along!!! 

Sheila confirmed member of the OG phantom troupe!!  Also the book she gave little Kurapika and Pairo in the “Kurapika’s Memories” chapter, that inspired them to want to leave the tribe and attempt the Hunter exam, was probably “Dino Hunter” because it looks the same and Sheila only reads one book apparently.  

This whole thing - Sheila being probably a member of the OG phantom troupe and basically pretending to stay sick so she could keep talking to Kurapika and Pairo - naturally leads to the dark interpretation that after K&P spent months caring for her she turned around and lead the Phantom Troupe back to the exact location of Kurapika’s tribe... Something fans have speculated for over a decade now...

***

On another note, how funny is it that the “Phantom Troupe” started as literally a troupe - as in a troop of actors?  

Or in this case, it’s even more nerdy - they are a troop of fandubbers LOLOLOL. 

...No wonder they were willing to let Hisoka in he probably reminded them of their roots with his theatrical sensibilities LOLOLOLOL so they ignored the creepy vibes...

I am sensing some kind of tragic backstory for Sarasa, btw, even more than the other members of the Phantom Troupe we meet in these panels, because we meet her by name, and she seems like the emotional heart of the troop... Chrollo has the Vision (TM) - more on that later - that gets all of them together, but she’s the emotional glue that helps them all to get along!  Also the only OG member (besides Sheila) who isn’t around anymore at the start of the manga!

From right to left, top to bottom: Sarasa, Uvo, Chrollo, Machi, Nobu/Shalnark, Franklin, Sheila, Pakunoda, Phinks, Feitan.

If Togashi wanted to simplify the backstory (although caveat: since when does Togashi want to simplify anything?), Sarasa could be the thing Kurapika’s tribe “took from” the Troupe (re: the Meteor City motto). 

BUT, and getting back to “nothing is ever that simple in Hunter x Hunter”... these chapters specifically mention that “a female traveler” found and reported the bodies... and that could be Sheila as well

***

...Something occurs to me here.  The Meteor City motto is well known, Kurapika wasn’t present when the Kurta clan was massacred, couldn’t anyone have left the note to frame them?

...Can you imagine if after ll this time, it wasn’t the Phantom Troupe who massacred the Kurta clan at all????  

The only “evidence” reported in the news is the note, after all... we learn Kurapika’s motives really early (like chapter 2) but after all this time, I can’t remember if Kurapika ever explains how he knows it was them!!!!!!!

Here’s when he explains his motives to Leorio... there’s nothing here about how he came to decide it was the Phantom Troupe who massacred the Kurta....   Uvo doesn’t remember (at first) anything about the massacre and Chrollo neither confirms nor denies it... when Kurapika asks if he was the boss at the time of the massacre he just laughs it off and says there’s nothing to say about it.   Everything he says is vague, like he knows that Melody has the ability to detect lies so he carefully only says true things, but without giving anything away (and unlike Uvo, you get the impression that Chrollo would definitely remember the details of his past heists. 

Melody catches the contradiction here (chapter 117):

And here’s what Chrollo has to say about the massacre (chapter 115):

It’s a bit of a stretch, but the way he says this... I mean Chrollo is slippery in general, he doesn’t answer Gon’s question (about how they can kill people with no relation to them) either, so this could just be Chrollo being Chrollo.   But I wonder if he’s being vague on purpose bc the Spiders, for some reason, agreed to take the fall for this one despite not being involved.

...The thing that seems to contradict this is that Uvo does say he remembers the massacre... not at first, but later, after Kurapika has him chained up: 

It’s in chapter 82.. .chapter 83 is when Uvo remembers and it seems pretty clear-cut BUT Uvo is a hot-head who says the thing he enjoys most is killing avengers, and it’s not clear yet that Kurapika really has the upper hand so he could just be riling him up. 

... What he says seems too specific to be just a taunt, but here’s the panels just in case you guys want to decide yourselves:

IDK IDK.. it seems pretty clear cut but the wording here has always been slippery.

Meanwhile, also on the side of “maybe they didn’t do it” is Nobu, who’s pretty vehement in the most recent chapters that the Phantom Troupe don’t indiscriminately murder for no reason and aren’t trying to burn the world to the ground (anymore), unlike Morena’s minions and also unlike the public perception of them.

There’s even a story in the manga about people from Meteor City being falsely accused of a crime (chapter 102):

The message on the corpse’s foot is the only proof that people from Meteor City carried out the assassinations.... remember pretty early in the manga when Kurapika almost kills that prisoner in Trick Tower with the fake spider tattoo because he goes into a rage?   Falsely accusing people from Meteor City, other criminals impersonating members of the Phantom Troupe, and  (some) people knowing about the Meteor City calling cards are all facts in the Hunter x Hunter world.

Not saying the Phantom Troupe aren’t a bunch of thieves and murderers - of course they are and we seem them committing a mass murder on panel even LOL -  but how funny would it be if we, the readers, have accepted for twenty years that the Spiders massacred the Kurta clan because Kurapika said so, but he (and we) have been wrong this whole time????  

No one even thinks to question this because we know they are more than capable of doing it...

Well anyway, it’s a pretty far-out theory and I’m not sure I even want it to be true, because I think the Spiders can be sympathetic/interesting and have massacred the whole Kurta clan, it’s not like they have to be completely innocent to be compelling characters.   

...Incidentally this chapter (102) is the same one that shows the videotape that apparently formed the basis for the Phantom Troupe getting together... to make fandubs of a sentai show** LOLOLOL thanks for finally explaining the significance of this panel more than 20 years later AND making it the most nerdy thing possible, Togashi. 

**Not just any sentai show, but one where the heroes clean up garbage... I mean you can see why it would appeal to the kids in Meteor City... but as a 90s kid it just reminds me of Captain Planet :P  

Not much other thoughts, except that the baby phantom troupe are adorable.... Uvo and Nobu being older than the rest of them and playground bullies, Chrollo’s best friends being Sheila and Sarasa (girls), and Machi refusing to play the princess are all kind of perfect actually. 

^Chrollo and the girls.

I also really enjoy how... well you know, all this time we knew the Phantom Troupe had their own motives for being thieves and murderers and for having that bond with each other, but now we actually get to see why & how the bond was formed in the first place... the Phantom Troupe are the main characters of their own story and Gon and Killua butt into that story (Gon especially) to support Kurapika without understanding anything about their motives actually, in typical myopic-child fashion. 

...I do have other thoughts about the most recent chapter re: toilet-chan, but I’ll put those in another post. 

#hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh spoilers #hxh manga spoilers #hxh chapter 395 #hxh chapter 396 #please please please let this post ok i spent so long on it!

[paraskao]

I was thinking about the nature of Kaz's and Per Haskell's relationship and honestly this needs a deeper dive, but the simple conclussion I came to is - Per Haskell is an Eastern Europen Dad ™

He is almost fully absent in his child's life despite living at the same house. On rare occasion he walks into his room, loudly snorts or farts or all together and asks Kaz how old is he or does he do drugs. He then begins a monologue as an attempt to teach a life lesson and then it ends with a conclussion of "don't become like me/but also look up to me/but ur already a fucking disappointment/jail sucks shit btw"

He randomly drops his crazy life lore, and when Kaz points out that some parts sound kinda unlikely since all he does now is lays on his butt and drinks vodka, Haskell gets offended and says smth among the lines of "oh I deserved that rest, unlike all this younger generation of snowflakes. I also once broke a leg, but you don't see me walking with a cane, do you?", a.k.a. the argument so stupid to the point when it is hard to come up with counter argument

When Haskell's friends come over(other Barrel rats of higher status, I'm guessing) and he allows Kaz to "sit with them and learn some wisdom", he basically makes him be an errand boy that hands out drinks and has to shut up when his additions to their conversations are actually smart

When he asks Kaz for "a little help" it always turns into a 10hrs of manual child labour and verbal abuse

When Kaz reaches drinking age(probably in Ketterdam u can legally drink at 16, although I doubt anyone there cares about it) Haskell takes him to his favourite bar to celebrate. Ends up super drunk himself, while Kaz is barely tipsy

Haskell angrily comments on Kaz's teenage slang(and I bet my liver he speaks with a mix of Barrel jargon and fancy mercher's dialect) cause he doesn't understand half of it

He tells some insensitive discriminatory shit(something homophobic for example, if homophobia was a thing in grishaverse) and then proceeds to tell a story from his youth that directly contradicts his views("so in the army I shared a room and a bed with this one guy... If he were a girl, I would've married him... what a strong real male friendship it was, really..."). Kaz listens to all this with an unreadable expression

#I swore I'm not gonna be playing into nuclear family types but it is said in canon that haskell was kinda like a father to kaz so yeah #six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #s&b #six of crows headcanons #kaz #kaz rietveld #six of crows kaz #per haskell #headcanons #headcanon #eastern europe #hope this all makes sense

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Alright, some context before I ask theis, because I don't want to misrepresent myself even by implication:

I am extremely economically right-wing. I am also pro-incarceration for quite a few crimes. I am generally not on the "democracy" side of the democracy to non-democracy scale. I think it would be okay if prisons were run hereditarily, if the position of Warden were generally given to the second or third son of a local Earl.

THAT BEING SAID:

There's no contradiction between prisons being a net cost to the taxpayer, and the demand for prisons being heavily driven by people who profit from them, that sort of thing happens all the time! The USA is rife with crony capitalism. It's not at all uncommon for something that is overall unprofitable to be promoted because it benefits a small group of wealthy and influential figures who can lean on politicians and media companies. Look at the defence industry. Look at protectionist tariffs. Look at corn syrup.

It's absolutely possible that if nobody were profiting from, for example, prison phone calls, or those prison dramas on American television like "OZ" or "Orange Is The New Black" (which make huge amounts of money, and are perceived as "realistic" or "gritty" because prisons exist) that there would be less incarceration.

Advertising, mass media, and campaign donations are not minor influences.

BTW, what's this about natural gas in Gaza?

there is absolutely a lot of crony capitalism going on in the us prison system, and this certainly creates some vested interest in engorging the prison population. but, like i said, it just cannot plausibly do all the heavy explanatory lifting ppl claim for it wrt the extent of us mass incarceration

its surprisingly hard to find much aggregated info on campaign finance and advertising in local judicial elections, but it kinda defies belief that they are the object of a vast industrial conspiracy to promote mass incarceration and that this more or less explains entirely why the us has so many of its ppl locked up. if it were so, one would to begin with expect the conspiracy to regularly promote judges to office with a consistent pro-imprisonment bent, rather than for sentencing severity to cycle with elections. indeed, it would be a hell of a lot more efficient to make sure these judgeships were all appointed, so the System could install them directly without the mediation of routine popularity contests. this doesnt look like the machinations of a crony capitalist cabal hand in hand with the state, it looks like individual mostly local elected bureaucrats pandering to a base that wants revenge all on its own

i probably am risking giving the impression i think judicial elections are the be all and end all of the crisis of mass incarceration in the united states. obviously thats not the case; states like cali with only limited electoral accountability for judges are hardly all bastions of freedom, and ofc this ignores legislative interventions like mandatory minimums and truth-in-sentencing laws. but it is useful as a way to point out the limitations of "just follow the money!"s explanatory power

"israel/us are bombing gaza for natural gas" was a silly theory being propagated on social media among some leftists

#ask #the cybersmith

[raya-rhaenyra-ahsoka]

Things I love about Ahsoka Ep. 7: Dreams and Madness

Anakin making holo-recordings for Ahsoka.

All I see is Anakin making video diaries and tutorials for his little sister. We hadn’t hear him say it, but he absolutely loves her and cares a lot for her. The question now is, how the hell did she get hold of those holo-recordings? Also, we need to see all 20 of them. I also think she had probs shown it to Luke and Leia at some point.

Leia saves Hera.

Of course, Leia would save everyone’s ass from trouble. It has always been her thing. C-3PO's timing was perfect. Also, Senator Xiono can go fuck himself. Chopper ready to throw hands at a senator is icing on the cake. And if they translate what he said, the entire thing would probably be bleeped out.

Huyang is an Obi-Wan Kenobi droid version.

Huyang complaining about Ahsoka’s reckless actions is so funny to me, honestly. In a way, she's being the Anakin to Huyang, being that Voice-of-Reason Obi-Wan persona to contradict to.

Thrawn’s mini-heart attack when he finds out who Ahsoka’s master was.

Thrawn, externally: *pokerface*

Thrawn, internally: What? No. That togruta bitch was trained by Anakin fucking Skywalker?! Omfg, this changes things.

So, a little background, Thrawn had always admired Anakin Skywalker and had worked alongside him since the clone wars, then as Darth Vader during the empire era. And to put it on modern terms, Thrawn was his biggest fan. He knows how powerful Anakin was and what he was capable of doing. So knowing that Anakin taught Ahsoka is information that could either make him or break him.

Ezra’s reaction to Sabine telling her about Ahsoka taking her as her padawan.

His reaction is the most Ezra thing ever. Obviously, he didn't expected Ahsoka to take on Sabine as her padawan considering she isn't force-sensitive. And Ezra is literally all of us when when we first watched the show, btw.

Ahsoka and Sabine’s Force bond.

It’s natural for the master and padawan to have a bond through the Force, regardless if jedi or sith. But with Sabine’s lack of force-sensitivity, this was something I did not expect. But nevertheless, I’m extremely happy about it.

Ezra and Sabine’s chaotic sibling energy.

We all know Ezra and Sabine go way back. They’ve been friends for a long time, they radiate chaotic sibling energy (sorry, sabezra/ezrabine shippers), even to the point of arguing while fighting for their lives. It's good to see that some things haven't changed.

Ahsoka and Ezra’s hug.

The last time these two met each other was in the World between Worlds, after Ezra saved Ahsoka from Darth Vader. Ahsoka had promised to find him when they get of there. But then again, they were at different points in time and Ezra disappeared with Thrawn to another galaxy. That makes this hug much more heartfelt and meaningful.

Ahsoka Tano of the Disaster Lineage™

• Unpredictable

• Reckless

• Purposely coming in late just to make a dramatic grand entrance and/or exit

• Never runs out of sassy comebacks when talking to the enemy

• Annoying the crap out of the people around them

• Has the signature troublemaker smirk 😏

• Expert lightsaber duelist

• Not following the no-attachment-rule

• Having good friendship with their padawans

Yep, she checks all the boxes and just further cements herself as part of the infamous Disaster Lineage™. Not to mention that she's indirectly teaching Sabine the same stuff. I can already hear Force Ghost Anakin cheering her on.

There are a lot of loose ends to tie in the season finale. Let's hope they'll give us an epic one and an interesting plotline for season 2.

#star wars #ahsoka series #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka episode 7 #dreams and madness #ahsoka tano #sabine wren #ezra bridger #hera syndulla #leia organa #luke skywalker #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #huyang #c3po #chopper #shin hati #thrawn #star wars ahsoka #ahsoka

[official-osha]

OSHAVERSE LORE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I’M NEW WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING I-

boy oh boy

so im going to assume youre A. a new blog [welcome] or B. a casual viewer

the OSHAverse is a roleplay verse that started due to the parody blogs [like me!] that popped up in the wake of osha-official deactivating so OSHA didnt try and come after them for impersonating a government official, and then when lore developed sometime in september-october of 2021, it became something else entirely. it sports at least 200 blogs [though many either deactivated or abandoned or on hiatus] and a fuckton of lore

the OSHAverse, [relatively] old and big as it is, with the amount of user input it relies on, has so much lore that contradicts itself in some ways that its hard to give a very clear description.

@oshahelpdesk, though not... too active right now i think, is a good way to get started, and is working on describing OSHA blogs - so please submit a form if you own one! i still need to get on that ::-]

a basic rundown of the lore [or what i think is happening LOL, im not god of OSHA idk the full stuff]: OSHA is not only... OSHA, but also some sort of scientist organization, quasi-dimensional communist commune, and probably its own god or something like that. it takes place in a dimension of elusive, ever-changing nature, which [i think] is the melting pot for other dimensions, creating a blurred together mess. the building is endless and could potentially change depending on who looks at it. it may also be alive. [hey girl if youre alive are you free on sunday btw]

OSHA has a ton of departments and many dont have fuck all to do with actual OSHA. other important locations include the cafeteria [@osha-cafeteria-worker], the mad scientist union [@union-of-mad-scientists], the WHO [who has an office in OSHA, i cant find the blog URL though rn and also its not very active], and a loot more

OSHA also has a heavy reliance on alternate universes due to the dimensional aspect of it all, which is pretty fun if you think about it

if youre an OSHA blog, feel free to tack on with your own personal lore or just to correct shit ive gotten wrong! [some other blogs of mine are @prime-orpheus, @oshafileclerk, and @rory-faire. i have at minimum 20 but orpheus is the only one relevant to offy, i like david, and rory is the only other blog im using right now]

things are... a bit inactive unfortunately because people are busy so many plotlines are halted 😴 hopefully things can someday be back to basics

#breaking character

[descent-of-a-queen]

[The Aishi Curse + Very Detailed Headcanons about Ayano]

I've always been a big fan of Ayano Aishi's inability to feel emotions and the Aishi curse. However not a lot of people share that sentiment which I get bc it can be seen as a major plot hole bc an Aishi is framed to feel utterly nothing so it feels strange to see them care, to do something that yields nothing for them.

Like how Ayano felt pity for her father and acting like a perfect and normal girl. Ayano acting normal and fitting in. Which means she can to some extent feel something. Sure, you can argue that she's doing so to lead an easier life but it contradicts things. She shouldn't care, she shouldn't care about those things bc that's the point. If she didn't care at all, she wouldn't be doing all this, she would simply go through the motions, bc she should have no reason to live or do anything. However I still like it and it just needs more touch ups.

I basically made an AU, where it’s more innocent Reverse Harem with basically Ayano fitting the lead heroine role. Having more hobbies, interests, personality, but retains her illness however to some extent she can feel things. Like somethings can evoke something in her. I wanted to flesh her out into a heroine rather than a heartless killer. Oh, btw Ryoba is dead lol and there's some other major changes.

I won’t be discussing the AU here, this is mostly headcanons to make Ayano in general more "hashtag relatable". I jest, but it’s basically about odd quirks she’s developed over the years to give her more depth. If you guys wanna know about the AU just say and I'll share it.

Headcanons:

Ayano feels nothing, so there exists a void in her that she notices and focuses on whenever she is not doing anything. She can't put it into words but it leaves her more empty than she already is when she’s not doing anything.

Due to this, Ayano does not like doing nothing. Constantly on the move and focusing on different, picking up new hobbies constantly so she isn’t left alone with the void that eats her from the inside.

TL:DR; will literally do anything then be stuck doing nothing.

She is often taken advantage by her peers especially in group projects, bc she’s “helpful”. Since these helpful acts are mostly for her. She doesn’t really mind, but her friends, often Midori take the work and shove it back to the people who ask her.

She uses schedules and planners, organizes everything which makes her seem responsible and meticulous. Often seen as a busybody by her peers; her father, adults, and friends worry about her health when they see her planner.

When there’s the inevitable moment where she’s stuck doing nothing, she will start fidgeting. She’ll mess with anything within reach, tap her shoes, snap her fingers, drum her fingers, basically anything to keep her occupied.

She acts normal. Though she doesn’t pretend to be angry since she finds the task unnecessary and can cause unnecessary rifts in relationships therefore loses all her progress; some people think she’s just very patient and some people find in unnerving how she doesn’t even get annoyed or irritated at literally anything.

She cannot cry, however she can cry if something gets into her eye or if she’s under too much pain. She’ll basically only cry due to physical pain, but nothing emotional.

Ayano blends fairly well into school and in social situations, but she’ll still face things she doesn’t quite understand. She often shrugs them off and adapts in situations, she goes to search about it later. She understands what’s polite and what’s rude but she might say something insensitive, brutally honest, from time to time.

Ayano although cannot feel emotions sadness, anger, disgust, disappointment. It doesn't mean her body doesn't have natural reactions and reflexes. Although there’s some minute differences between hers and an average person's.

Like she has a flight or fight response but fear, panic, shock, etc does not register into her head and expressions. But her mind and body does register that she could be in potential danger and so her protects her. An example would be is if you tried to scare her, if she recognizes you are a danger to her, there’s a chance she will punch you.

Her body still functions as it should, tho she has no emotions. Like if she runs her heart rate will shoot up. A feeling she actually likes. If she does not sleep, her body and mind will function like a person with no sleep.

She’s an adrenaline junkie. You can’t change my mind.

She likes spicy food. The hotter, the better. I mostly say this bc spicy food releases these hormones that make you happy, but really she likes how her body reacts to it. The painful spice that makes her heart race.

Coffee as always gives her that energized feeling.

Ayano is an avid fan of romance from music, books, movies, plays, shows to even historical irl love stories. She absolutely adores them. It’s like an overpowered drug to her, it what’s connects her to her roots as an Aishi. She’s addicted to the feeling of consuming all things romantic.

Smiles will unconsciously grace her lips, the warmth glowing from her cheeks and the fluttering of her heart. 

There will literally be moments where she has to stop and start pacing to calm down. She’s trapped in a trance when she gets too into it that she would full on lose her sense of time and ignore her body’s needs.

It's basically a small taste to what she'll feel when she meets the one.

Bc of romance she's basically idealized romance. Already hooked on the idea of getting married and having kids. Having a fairy tale happily ever after. Feeling like what she reads and consumes will be like real life but better.

She doesn’t understand why people feel the need to hide certain emotions. Although Ayano doesn’t feel nor fully understands the complexity of emotions, she’ll try to coax and encourage them to show it to her. 

She finds it mesmerizing but also there exist that tiny, miniscule thing inside her that hurts whenever she sees people hiding it.

#yandere simulator #yandere sim #yansim #ayano aishi #ryoba aishi #yandere simulator au #the reverse harem au #male rivals #headcanons #taro yamada

[clara-maybe-ontheroad]

Only Friends's MBTI types - my guesses after episode 1

Let's associate one of my newest obsessions with one of my long lasting ones and guess our favorite group of messy queers' MBTI types ! Yes, all of Mew, Top, Ray, Sand, Boston, Nick and Chueam. I've done a lot of that at parties so I think I might be either good or terrible or average at it, I'm hedging my bets and promising nothing.

(btw I'm very aware of the problematic origins of the MBTI test, the ways it is often misused and how unscientific it is, please let me just have dumb fun okay ! Also I won't really explain that much what each letters actually mean bc it's more fun that way)

Anyway, going to rank the characters from the types I found the easiest to figure out to the hardest, this is after the first episode only so hopefully the next ones don't prove me wrong too much :

1. Boston : ESTP "The Entrepreneur"

E for extraverted, S for all the ssssensations, T 'cause he knows to hide what he thinks, P because that's what he's thinking with

Seriously though, ESTPs "tend to be energetic and action-oriented, deftly navigating whatever is in front of them. They love uncovering life’s opportunities, whether socializing with others or in more personal pursuits." They're unpredictable, always looking for the next thrill, charismatic, charming, quick-witted. They're also smarter than they look, can be calculating and rational, and use some of that cold logic to disregard people that don't suit them anymore to look for the next best thing. They're also the sluttiest type according to this Reddit thread I absolutely agree with.

Come on, don't tell me that's not Boston to a T !

Alternative typing : ESFP - but I think there's something less spontaneous and more calculating behind Boston's urges.

2. Sand : ISTJ "Logistician"

I for introverted because he's clearly tired of everyone, S for stubborn, T for those ethics, J for judgmental all day every day

ISTJ "pride themselves on their integrity. People with this personality type mean what they say, and when they commit to doing something, they make sure to follow through." They're hardworking strong willed and dutiful to a fault, honest to the point of lacking tact and hurting people, they're the type to care about people but also about order and about things being done "the right way", so they're kinda hard to befriend (and they don't necessarily want to be your friend anyway) but they make for extremely devoted partners. They value stability above all so they don't appear like the most sexually focused people but they reeeallly care about leaving their partner satisfied.

This type doesn't really do hook ups and I'm looking forward to how Sand is going to handle a FWB type relationship with Ray

Alternative typing : ISTP. I feel like a happy Sand with less money troubles could be an ISTP, able to express his artistic side and creativity, spontaneous, able to adapt, just still reserved. But the Sand we're shown so far is more rigid and less prone to risky behaviors than an ISTP would be.

3. Ray : INFP "Mediator"

Okay so this might be a controversial one, but listen, I know my depressed horny but pining romantics INFPs by heart, I love them to pieces, they're full of contradictions and I really see Ray as one of them.

Generally speaking, INFP are depicted as "quiet, open-minded, and imaginative", but most importantly and more essential to their nature, they live in a world of their own imagination. They're somewhat eccentric, witty, often have quite a few friends but always perceive themselves to be lonely, longing for a deep transcending connection that they don't actually try to get in real life because their self esteem is too low. They're smart but easily distracted and unfocused, passionnate and vulnerable but also self critical and desperate to please, empathetic and selfish, and just so damn depressed.

Alternative typing : ENFP / ISFP. Some people might say that Ray's adventurous and flirtatious side make him an ENFP or an ISFP, and I don't fully disagree : his apparent sluttiness is not very typical of an INFP. But ! it seems like his sluttiness is a coping mechanism to deal with his unreciprocated crush and low self worth, as is his alcoholism, and that sounds very INFP to me.

4. Top : ENTP "Debater"

We're getting into character I'm actually having doubts about, but I still think Top is an ENTP : E for extremely forward and extroverted, N for never backing down from a challenge, T for titillating and quick thinker, P for Popular for his P... sorry

No but really, ENTP are known to be direct, intelligent, charismatic and to "pursue their goals vigorously despite any resistance they might encounter". There, we've said it, do I need to further convince you about Top being an ENTP ? Yes ? Okay weird but sure.

ENTPs love to be surprised, they welcome unexpected situations as exciting challenges, which I find very close to Top's approach to Mew. It also means that Top's and Boston's type are very close (ENTP vs ESTP) which makes a lot of sense to me, with some fundamental differences being that an ENTP (Top) will focus on the big concept and long term vision while an ESTP (Boston) is both observant to small details and easily distracted ; an ENTP communicates more easily in a round about manner (ie Top's way of collecting information about Mew) while an ESTP is more literal and "often gives exact examples of events that have occurred in the past" (ie Boston's approach of Top at the bar and later in the bathroom)

Alternative typing : ENTJ - Maybe the differences between Top and Boston actually go deeper than that. ENTJs are considered the most natural leaders, loving being in charge, charismatic and intelligent. So it could also fit Top, but I'm choosing to believe based on what we've seen so far that Top is more adaptable and spontaneous (ENTP) than organized and consistent (ENTJ). Not 100% sure though.

5. Nick : ISFP "Adventurer"

Okay so we don't actually know Nick that well yet. He doesn't seem the most extroverted and can even be a bit shy when surprised, but is still fairly audacious and has an air of enthusiasm about him, so I think he is ISFP : I for introverted on first glance, S for slitherin in those nudes, F for falling head over heels for Boston, P for putting himself out there

ISFPs tend to be warm and creative people, the good friends who are always up for trying new things but would never pressure you. They're sensitive, passionate, curious, open minded but also easily stressed and often underestimate themselves. In romantic relationships, they tend to give all their focus to their partner's needs and forget themselves a bit ; they need excitement and adventure, but they're also very loyal, caring, they go with the flow of what their partner wants. They need a partner to show love through their actions ... Yeah we'll see how that goes with Boston !

Talking about ISFP-ESTP relationships (Nick-Boston) : ISFP tend to be drawn to ESTP and their energy but also find them to be jerks are hard to settle down with, with many users on different Reddit threads describing a very push-pull dynamic. Ah, how surprising

(Btw, if you want a post about what the MBTI types of all these characters say about their relationships and what I'd predict based on that, let me know haha)

Alternative typing : INFP - Ya know, for those hopeless romantics vibes ! But Nick seems too forward and go with the flow to me to be an INFP (see INFP Ray who's actually a lot more slow build in his relationships with both Mew and Sand, though maybe not that slow, just by the show's standards lol)

6. Chueam : ESFP "Entertainer"

Okay I'm actually struggling with Chueam but I think my verdict for now is ESFP, which gives her at least two letters in common with every one on this list except Sand (edit : and Mew surprisingly), and I think it makes sense because she does appear to understand everyone else in the group while being the life of the party. ESFP in her case would stand for Extroverted Sensation Focused Partier - yes these acronyms are getting worse, sorry.

Really though, ESFPs are described as the type to "break out spontaneously into song and dance" : they live life to the fullest, always excited to embrace new experiences. They're bold and a bit messy sometimes, they're easily bored, but they're also sweet, friendly, observant and have great people's skills. They're popular but conflict averse and don't like to think too much about the future which certainly gives them some blind spots. To me, it sounds like a great summary of how Chueam seems charming, super fun to be around, caring for her friends but also a bit too focused on pleasure to the point of ignoring red flags (*coughs* Top)

Alternative typing : ESFJ - Chueam's optimistic vibes and how people oriented she is in a way that is certainly a bit chaotic but not actually messy gives me the impression that she could also be an ESFJ (if we think she's a bit more organized and good at planning)

7. Mew : INFJ "Advocate"

Surprise, surprise, the guy who is arguably our main character is the hardest one for me to type. I think that it might be because since he's the narrator of his own story, he's unreliable about everyone obviously, but probably even more unreliable when it comes to himself.

What do we truly know about Mew ? He likes his friends but is more introverted, doesn't mind going out but avoids drinking so he can stay in control. He likes books because they allow him to explore the world without actually venturing too much outside of his comfort zone ; he's a bit of a romantic but also pragmatic about his own emotions ; his life has a routine and an organization that he finds grounding.

So that means Mew is definitely an I for introverted bean, F for Focused on his Feelings, and J for Judgment and Just doing things the proper way. I'm also going to assume that he's more focused on the bigger picture and conceptual ideas - meaning he's going to think he's smarter than he is and ignore some details and find that out the hard way - and while he likes pleasing people, he has no issues stating his boundaries - as seen after he invites Top in his apartment. All of this gives us an INFJ.

INFJ are described as deeply thoughtful and with very rich inner lives, they're usually considered pretty rare, and are very aware of how unique they are, often making it part of their "branding", a core element to how they think of themselves. They're all about self perception, self awareness ; they're highly observant and good at analyzing other people, empathetic and caring, they give good advice to the point of appearing almost psychic but are actually quite self centered because they're so focused on achieving perfection and avoiding being ordinary. They are truly very smart and charismatic in an understated way, but they can also look down on others as shallow and have a bit of main character syndrome. See also @heretherebedork's post on Mew's potential as a manipulative virgin demon that I very much agree with.

Now, it might sound harsh, but I think that describes Mew quite well. I might be projecting a bit though (I may or may not be an INFJ myself, oops), but I truly think that my feeling of both liking Mew a lot as a character and fundamentally wanting to punch him in the face might be due to us being the same type lol

Alternative typing : ISFJ / INTJ - The preference of Mew for things to be done a certain way could extend to a resistance to change and an attachment to a sense of higher duty, making him a bit more of an ISFJ. But also, if he's actually less focused on his emotions and a lot more calculating and guided by his pure logic, he might be more of an INTJ.

So yeah, that's it, I spent way too much time thinking about this. Any opinions and comments are VERY WELCOME, please let me know how wrong I am haha and we can improve this together !

Now I'm going to not so patiently wait for episode 2 to be released lol

#only friends the series #ofts #sandray #mewtop #bostonnick #thai bl #bl shows #mbti #mbti types as #current watchlist #character analysis #analysis is a big word for what is truly shitposting #ao3 #only friends meta #forcebook #firstkhao #neomark

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

Manfred von Karma: For Real This Time

Hookay, got the fluffy poetry out of my system. Now it's time to break down Manfred in scientific terms - his role in Ace Attorney Phoenix Wright, why he works and perhaps some shortcomings as well. This will be formatted similarly to my Damon Gant analysis, though hopefully more well structured (and much, MUCH longer lol). Bare with me on this!

The Build-Up

First, CONTEXT!

By Case 1-4, chances are you've built yourself up pretty high. You've matched Edgeworth - the "Demon Prosecutor" - twice in succession, having to deal with non-cooperative police and systemic corruption all the way through. Both Redd White and Dee Vasquez may have had their share of strings to pull but you managed to cut both down in the end. They were shaky wins though, so there's still room for you to be afraid of what comes next.

Case 1-4 shakes things up massively; Edgeworth is framed for murder, the police seemingly have no leads, and your own investigation comes short of being able to figure anything out. But... who's prosecuting the case if not Edgeworth? A new prosecutor? Payne, even?

Enter; Manfred von Karma. As mentioned in my Gant post, he is built up to mythic proportions before you even step in the court. 40 years undefeated. 10-20 times as ruthless as Edgeworth. He is spoken in godlike terms, and by Edgeworth himself no less! By the time you see him, you're already dreading what you're about to face with so little evidence or leads to back you up. And the first thing he actually does?

Shut the Judge right down. The Judge! The guy who - dim as he is - is supposed to be the one calling the shots! And he holds on to that control for the rest of the trial before Udgey finally stands up for himself when Nick requests Lotta to testify again. Even still, you are no closer to proving Edgeworth innocent than you were before - you just bought time with the only contradiction you could find.

As far as first impressions go, Manfred is nothing short of perfect - winding up the tension until striking you as hard and fast as they can with this monster of a prosecutor before you even have the chance to collect your thoughts.

The Character

Now, this is where Manfred gets a ding on his otherwise spotless record, because... He's honestly not that interesting as a character.

Most of his character comes down to being a perfectionist - he's willing to do whatever is necessary to maintain what he sees to be a perfect life. When someone disrupts that perfection - say, Gregory getting him penalised for falsified evidence - it's enough to send the man into a murderous vendetta that will last long after you are dead, and paid back by your descendants. Hell, he tazed Nick and Maya for so much as daring to spoil his perfect victory when they reveal the note he wrote (good going btw Phoenix... you'd think he'd have learned by then). He doesn't get many chances to be humanised in AA1 though; he is presented to you as a monster and stays that way through to the end.

Terrifying to a capital T and a worthy final boss, but he's no Damon Gant or Godot as far as personality or motive goes. He does what he does because he is obsessed with his idea of perfection, from his actions in court and his abuse towards his children/protégé Franziska and Miles. There aren't too many other gears spinning in his head beyond that.

He's more a presence, a force of nature, than a character with the same depth or humanity as Edgeworth before him or Damon Gant after. I won't say that's a bad thing necessarily though! For what the story is aiming for, a pure-evil villain in a lavish suit does the job well enough. It helps that Edgeworth carries the majority of the character growth so that his mentor can mostly coast off his fear factor alone and get by well-regarded anyhow. Plus, he's not above being as comical as every other Ace Attorney character - see his ATM number line for my go-to example of him being an absolute cartoon.

"I set my ATM number to '0001', because I am number 1!"

You'd almost be endeared by his supervillain ego if he wasn't making you soil yourself all the way through the case.

The Impact

DL-6. This event defines almost the entirety of Ace Attorney Phoenix Wright - it's hinted at as early as Case 1-2, likely the reason why your mentor Mia was murdered by Redd White and why the Fey clan is in such shambles in recent days. It's the reason Edgeworth is such a cold, ruthless person, as it stripped him of his father and put him in Manfred's iron grasp. That event ruined the life of an otherwise innocuous bailiff, to the point where he was willing to kill his former attorney to frame the child he was convinced was actually guilty all along. DL-6 was a defining event for a lot of characters and the ripples of that case continue to affect them up to and after Case 1-4.

And it likely never would have happened if not for Manfred.

A man so consumed by his ideas of perfection, he decided 15 years ago, in that moment, to set in motion a chain of events that would weigh on everyone in proximity; From Misty Fey to Maya, Mia and Nick, from Gregory to Miles, from Yani Yogi to everyone he had to push away to keep his façade going. Had Gregory not been murdered that day, Miles likely would have continued on his path to follow in his fathers footsteps. He, Phoenix and Larry may have kept in touch instead of suddenly breaking off contact under Manfred's wing. Hell, Phoenix himself may not have become a defence attorney at all! He was more likely to have been an artist as Trials and Tribulations would reveal if not for this one event.

The name "Manfred von Karma" is synonymous with this event. The lengths he went to in order to hide his involvement - up to and including framing Miles, taking him in as his own, and keeping a bullet wound untreated for 15 years - ensured that none of these threads would be resolved by the time they dealt serious damage to everyone involved in the resulting trial. Though, as with any Ace Attorney culprit, his cover-ups leave a trail of lies we can trace all the way back to him. The only downside is that he's more than used to playing dirty to get the result he wants - resulting in a case that starts out as hopelessly as possible and continues to be so, up until Yani Yogi decides enough is enough and confesses his involvement.

Huh. In hindsight, Yani might have inadvertently gotten his own back against Manfred for essentially ruining his life. Don't think he expected us to nab him for DL-6, but a victory is a victory!

I could go on and on, especially regarding Miles and Franziska, but wiser people than I have spilled their guts on those two and it would be much, much too long a post otherwise. It's important to cover everything, but it's more-so to know when something is done. So I will leave with this;

Manfred von Karma is a simple meal well made - a pure-evil villain with more than enough menace and deeds to carry him through the final case of Ace Attorney Phoenix Wright. It's easier to get something right when there's not much to get wrong, and as far as simple villains like this go?

I dare say he's nothing short of perfect.

Almost perfect.

Really, who shouts their ATM number in the middle of a packed courtroom....?!?!

EDIT: As mentioned in another post, I had mistakenly assumed Phoenix was pursuing a prosecution career for some time. This post mentions the same misconception which has been removed for accuracy's sake. Sorry bout that!

#ace attorney #ace attorney phoenix wright #manfred von karma #dl 6 incident #gregory edgeworth #miles edgeworth #yani yogi #misty fey #redd white #character analysis #karma posting...? #nah don't think we'll be doing that.

[an-organism]

narcissa notes app meta ramble thing

so writing narcissa can be tricky because you can kinda read all sorts of things into her character and have it not strictly violate canon- in part because she only appears like 6 times and in part because she’s so understood as this super guarded, private person who rarely lets on how she really feels (excepting, of course, for when she’s bullying teenagers in clothes shops) (the spinner’s end scene could be interpreted a couple ways). i usually take some bits at face value and read in the rest based on the context of her canon life.

i think to some extent - probably more so than she’s sometimes characterized - she is a true believer. that said beliefs are different from priorities or actions, are grounded in different things for different people, and her actions obviously let on about her priorities. it’s Her People over everything, cut and dry. even if she is committed to blood purity as a quasi-political project (again, i don’t know that she’s not), it’s not something she tends to put a lot on the line for. she does things for the cause when it’s in the interest of Her People, when she might be expected to, but not necessarily for the sake of furthering the cause itself. she certainly doesn’t seem to like voldemort himself all that much. (plain spite is, btw, a very underrated reason for her turn in the forbidden forest! she was sick of the dude living in her house, feeding schoolteachers to snakes at the dinner table!) anyway none of that i think contradicts her actions in the series, so i’ll say so far so good.

as for the context, it’s significant that she’s the youngest sibling of the three. as a teenager and young adult, she watched bellatrix throw everything she had into the cause and end up in azkaban; she watched andromeda run off, get married to some muggleborn dude, and be disowned for it (arguably just as bad a fate in her eyes, lbr); while not younger than her cousins, watched sirius run off, also get disowned, and somehow also end up in azkaban; regulus dies in a cave somewhere, you get the picture. her whole generation of the family, by my count, some combination of dead, disowned, or in prison for life. it’s very easy to see how she opts for the middle path, never stepping out of line when it comes to blood purity, but also not risking her life and freedom going too hard for it. it’s an interesting line to navigate! of course, she’s an adult by the end of the first war, is capable of changing her views, and something like disownment wouldn’t necessarily carry the same weight (particularly when most of the family is uh. dead), but i think it’s pretty hard coded by that point. there’s nothing for her at the end of that road, as far as she’s concerned.

so, personality! this is where things get vague. we see some of it, in very specific scenarios that tell us… something. (maybe.) she can be petty; her self-control is somewhat situational, as is her pridefulness. a certain sense of superiority, for sure, moderated by a lack of interest in getting her hands dirty, not much in the way of natural leadership tendencies, an aversion to scrutiny, to risk, to conflict. a lot of what she shows really depends on what she thinks she can get away with revealing in that moment. (that madam malkin’s scene is, i think, pretty much just a low-risk venting opportunity for her.)

she lies! oh, does narcissa lie. truth as a concept is a very interesting subject with her. everything is just people, is how they act, is results.

i think she’s someone very grounded in material reality - not at all an idealist, but concerned with cause and effect, with consequences. it’s an interesting modality of black and white thinking, where it’s not about moral rights or wrongs, but rather this sense of inevitability. things are the way they are, and there’s no sense trying to change them. ideals like fairness, justice, and so on are much too wishy washy. useless, really.

back to her middle path- she wants to seem threatening to those below her, and unthreatening to those with power over her. there’s some puffer fish-ness in how she carries herself, which interestingly, i actually think she’s never really perfected? she screws up her face to appear more intimidating (imo, based on pure hc, probably trying to emulate a family member or two), but harry more or less describes her as a pretty woman who looks like she smelled something bad. his is historically maybe not the most reliable perspective when it comes to identifying danger, but there’s certainly nothing suggesting she inspires fear in others the way, say, bellatrix does. even andromeda is able to get that much out of harry for a moment (entirely unintentionally, too!)

i tend to want to explore her adaptability, how she figures out how to fake her way through things, see where her feelings, her wants, her goals, her abilities, etc butt up against her learned need to first and foremost Not Fuck Herself Over. (post-war settings are great for this.) also, to see what she does when she and her family aren’t in this extended period of survival mode, and the world is sort of open to her for the first time. i think she freezes up in the face of that, at least for a while.

i do not have a concluding thought? uhhh idk she’s a bottom. that works

#hp #meta #narcissa black malfoy #i'm just gonna keep putting these up i think

[aspd-culture]

Greetings,

1. Your content is very helpful, big thanks for answering questions so thoroughly!

I have aspd+npd and adhd.

cd in childhood ✔️

So I started therapy again, had my 3 visits to get-to-know-eachother and soon will have weekly or so appointments.

Now she ain’t really familiar with cluster b (I know I know…), but no other therapist in my area takes new patients or is familiar with the topic either.

Now today I told her about my diagnosis’s straightforward and she’s all about “not labeling symptoms as diagnosis’s”, she’s an in depth-psychotherapy psychologist and works with the NVC nonviolent communication concept by Marshall Rosenberg *deep sigh*

“Based on the teachings of Sigmund Freud, traditional psychoanalysis deals with the reconstruction of long-repressed memories, while depth psychology focuses primarily on the "present conscious".”

Now I know I will have to withhold my “I know better about this” reactions to some degree, I told her about cluster b treatment being specific and a lot of other disorders have same/similar symptoms aka having labels like aspd&npd IS HELPFUL CUZ NOW YOU KNOW WHAT YOURE WORKING WITH?? (+do precise research)

but we talked a little bit about me experiencing npd shame and she was like: “well that contradicts itself, you cannot have aspd and experience shame, aspd lacks that & you appear to be a nice lady anyway” *implodes*

The mocking laugh I had to withhold omg.

Now going by the books at least >3 symptoms have to be present & I have more than that.

Everyone experiences it differently, idk if it’s even considered somewhat of a spectrum?

And I HAVE THE LITERAL DIAGNOSIS ANYWAY.

Like what does she not get about me ALSO HAVING NPD COMORBID?! and shame being the core of NPD?

Now… I’ll probably stay with her for a while (if I have the self control) since I really need therapy to some degree at least, cuz things suck big time right now.

And my question is how to teach her her job and explain the aspd&npd comorbid stuff to her and that labels do play a role here? Idk just overall advice?

End of frustration rant🤦🏻‍♀️

-K

Thank you, I do my best!

TW, all caps text in the response (not aggressive, in a surprised/reaction way)

I'm just... gonna liveblog my response to this bc I have so many feelings on this therapist already and I have barely read 1/4 of the ask yet.

Not being familiar with cluster b pds actually isn't always a bad thing. I will happily take unfamiliar over some of the so called specialists in that area who believe in "narc abuse" and the like. I generally recommend people who think/know they have ASPD to seek out therapists in the range of trauma specialists over cluster b specialists for that reason.

Ugh, I can't stand the "I don't like labels/diagnoses" therapists enough already when they're referring to new ones while in their care, but to say that to someone who is telling you about a dx they already have is a new low.

Not the Freud! Not the "present conscious"! Gross gross all around imo. If that works for some of you that is awesome but I can't stomach that kind of therapist just for me personally.

Reconstruction of repressed memories is tricky because if they don't handle that right it is a very sensitive moment for them to fuck up/say something shitty, so I personally prefer to let those bubble up naturally, but because I have DID (oh ya, that official dx happened btw) they are more likely to bubble up for me than for a singlet. It makes sense to me that singlets would want a therapist for that.

OH DEAR FUCK I DID NOT THINK IT COULD GET WORSE. Ok so unpacking that - pwASPD absolutely experience shame, which is extremely common in traumatized people of any variety. In fact, shame is a very common symptom of PTSD. Remorse and shame are not only not the same, but they are so far removed from each other than even most ableist prosocials know and admit that those two are not even in the same family.

The "you appear to be a nice lady" is the icing on the "Get the fuck rid of this therapist if you can" cake for me, because it reeks of ableism and sexism at the same time. AFABs often have their symptoms of ASPD ignored entirely or intentionally mis-attributed to autism or BPD because they just cannot fathom an AFAB not thinking like a lady. ASPD is demonized and AFABs are infantilized and their tiny prosocial brains blow up because those two cannot co-exist.

I, to be quite honest, would chuck her in the unfixable pile. I wish I could give you advice on this, but there is just too much ableism, sexism, and ignorance in how she reacted in just this single interaction you described for me to think she's salvagable. When it's one little thing you can sometimes teach them/get them to learn with you - even though that is literally the opposite of what therapy is supposed to be - and get something good out of it, but with all of this I think it presents a much larger risk to you to try.

If you can't switch any time soon, I would try and stick to discussing non-cluster b issues as much as possible.

I can not and do not give professional advice because I am not a professional and in good conscience, I can't advise leaving one therapist without a direct plan on how and when to get another one ASAP. But I will say that specifically in relation to cluster b disorders, this therapist sounds like she will be more damaging than anything for that. That doesn't mean that she can't help with other conditions or stressors you're experiencing in the meantime, though!

Plain text below the cut:

Thank you, I do my best!

TW, all caps text in the response (not aggressive, in a surprised/reaction way)

I'm just... gonna liveblog my response to this bc I have so many feelings on this therapist already and I have barely read 1/4 of the ask yet.

Not being familiar with cluster b pds actually isn't always a bad thing. I will happily take unfamiliar over some of the so called specialists in that area who believe in "narc abuse" and the like. I generally recommend people who think/know they have ASPD to seek out therapists in the range of trauma specialists over cluster b specialists for that reason.

Ugh, I can't stand the "I don't like labels/diagnoses" therapists enough already when they're referring to new ones while in their care, but to say that to someone who is telling you about a dx they already have is a new low.

Not the Freud! Not the "present conscious"! Gross gross all around imo. If that works for some of you that is awesome but I can't stomach that kind of therapist just for me personally.

Reconstruction of repressed memories is tricky because if they don't handle that right it is a very sensitive moment for them to fuck up/say something shitty, so I personally prefer to let those bubble up naturally, but because I have DID (oh ya, that official dx happened btw) they are more likely to bubble up for me than for a singlet. It makes sense to me that singlets would want a therapist for that.

OH DEAR FUCK I DID NOT THINK IT COULD GET WORSE. Ok so unpacking that - pwASPD absolutely experience shame, which is extremely common in traumatized people of any variety. In fact, shame is a very common symptom of PTSD. Remorse and shame are not only not the same, but they are so far removed from each other than even most ableist prosocials know and admit that those two are not even in the same family.

The "you appear to be a nice lady" is the icing on the "Get the fuck rid of this therapist if you can" cake for me, because it reeks of ableism and sexism at the same time. AFABs often have their symptoms of ASPD ignored entirely or intentionally mis-attributed to autism or BPD because they just cannot fathom an AFAB not thinking like a lady. ASPD is demonized and AFABs are infantilized and their tiny prosocial brains blow up because those two cannot co-exist.

I, to be quite honest, would chuck her in the unfixable pile. I wish I could give you advice on this, but there is just too much ableism, sexism, and ignorance in how she reacted in just this single interaction you described for me to think she's salvagable. When it's one little thing you can sometimes teach them/get them to learn with you - even though that is literally the opposite of what therapy is supposed to be - and get something good out of it, but with all of this I think it presents a much larger risk to you to try.

If you can't switch any time soon, I would try and stick to discussing non-cluster b issues as much as possible.

I can not and do not give professional advice because I am not a professional and in good conscience, I can't advise leaving one therapist without a direct plan on how and when to get another one ASAP. But I will say that specifically in relation to cluster b disorders, this therapist sounds like she will be more damaging than anything for that. That doesn't mean that she can't help with other conditions or stressors you're experiencing in the meantime, though!

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #tw ableist #tw ableist therapist #tw ableism #cw ableist therapist #cw therapy #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome