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yujification · 3 months

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river of january - yu jimin

desc: it had been so long since anyone had touched you, let alone tended to your self-inflicted wounds with so much care– karina’s tutelage was something you’d never understand, her borderline obsessive need to always watch over you and take care of you like you were some fragile being that needed to be protected. it was endearing, but a little degrading at the same time. “it’s just what friends do,” is what she says, but it almost makes you wonder if friends also suck each other dry in the back of a nissan altima, clothes spilling on the floor mat. it was a conversation for another day, you figured. cw: fem!reader, fwb, g!p, praise, hurt/comfort, smut, cunnilingus, p in v sex (a LOT) unprotected sex (rina nuts inside every single time sorry), cum eating, switch!karina, mild angst idk ??, car sex (mentioned), mirror sex (frequent), mutual pining, denial of feelings, SERIES! this is part 1/2

wc: 4.1k

in the epilogue of january, the trees are still bare as is your skin from scratching it raw. the weather made the crevices of your body dry, flaky and painful with a need for renewal or some sort of rejuvenation, that of which you never really got, or knew how to get. it was a problem that inevitably needed solving, but never truly saw that resolution until one blonde haired karina yu sat you down on her bathroom floor next to the bathtub laced with mold to put ointment on the irritated areas of your hands and arms. it had been so long since anyone had touched you, let alone tended to your self-inflicted wounds with so much care– karina’s tutelage was something you’d never understand, her borderline obsessive need to always watch over you and take care of you like you were some fragile being that needed to be protected. it was endearing, but a little degrading at the same time. “it’s just what friends do,” is what she says, but it almost makes you wonder if friends also suck each other dry in the back of a nissan altima, clothes spilling on the floor mat. it was a conversation for another day, you figured. karina holds your hand and opens your hand like a flower, pressing the hydrocortisone treatment into your palm with her brows furrowed. it was a natural look– a frightening one, and one to be feared. if karina was a leopard, you were a mouse. not her prey, necessarily, but you could be. you could never fear karina, not now, not ever. not even if you wanted to. “apply this once a day, yeah? right after you shower,” karina points out all of the dry spots of your skin. “here, and here, and here.” you’ve learned that it’s best to just listen to karina in these situations. she knows best, after all. your fingers envelope the tube, and you tuck it into your coat pocket carefully. “yeah, yeah,” you nod, your voice small. you avoid eye contact with everyone, not only karina, so you always ask her not to take it personally. and she never does. she assumes you don’t notice her staring at your jaw as you look away, but your peripheral is strong. you don’t say anything about it. you don’t need to. some things are better left unsaid. the following evening, you don’t speak much. karina confines herself in her room for much of the day, though you briefly see her shadow from under your door, as if she’s about to knock and come in, but she never does. she stands, contemplates, then you hear little footsteps retreating back to where she came from. despite this, every day ends the same. you shower after dinner, and go to karina’s room to bid her goodnight, as you’ve done every day since you first became roommates in your first year of university. you knock, your knuckles gentle against the door so you don’t wake her if she’s already sleeping, or startle her if she isn’t. “come in,” is what she utters, and you turn the knob of the door and push it open, the creaks of the hinges echoing softly. karina’s room was so empty. it was white and desolate, though dark most of the time. you hesitate to speak, at first. “i’m… i’m gonna head to bed,” you whisper. there isn’t much of a need for such a quiet tone, but it feels necessary. it’s so late, and you can barely see her, but the light from outside of the room reveals enough of your stature to her, and she silently gawks at your damp hair. karina lets out a soft hum of approval, turning over in bed. every day ends the same, but it isn’t this. “can i—” and before you can finish your sentence, karina lets out the tiniest ‘mhm’. she doesn’t even know what you were asking for, but maybe she doesn’t have to know. the thought of you doing anything was more than enough.

you crawl into karina’s bed, and she’s emotional, crumbling like a dead flower into your hands and body, arms wrapped around your waist and kisses peppered against the nape of your neck. this is what friends do. you’re taking care of each other. she took care of you, now it’s your turn. you swallow, hands already tugging at the waistband of her boxers, your parted lips meeting in an urgent kiss. you had only just started and you already felt the tent in rina’s briefs pressing against your thigh. “that was quick,” you remarked, watching her face flush with embarrassment. her clothes were so cute you almost didn’t want to take them off. her boxers were plaid; periwinkle and white, and she wore a matching cropped shirt that hugged her figure nicely, though if you said that, she’d probably end up feeling bad about it. karina didn’t like compliments (or, at least, didn’t receive them well) you learned quickly after meeting her, when you complimented her cat-like eyes and she turned into a broken record trying to spit out something as simple as a ‘thank you’. karina closes her eyes, trying to collect herself, to no avail. “i’m sorry,” she mumbles. “you don’t have to,” she continues as her eyes open slowly, glossed over. “i want to,” you stroke her platinum hair, the tresses falling between your fingers softly. she had dyed her hair this color before, but it was just a little lighter this time, and her roots were already growing in. she had almost a disheveled charm to her, and the messiness of it at this hour was doing her a favor. “do you… not want it?” “i don’t know what you’re trying to give me,” karina’s tongue flicks out and coats her lips in saliva. “it feels wrong regardless.” wrong. you pull back a little. “how so?” she doesn’t reply. “it’s fine. we don’t have to,” you begin to move further away, and karina sits up, shaking her head quickly. “no, no, i want to,” karina speaks hurriedly. “i want to. i want to, i promise.” you lean in again, lips hovering over karina’s, breath hot against her mouth. you look at her in her eyes for the first time in a long time, and it feels real. her pupils dilate, chestnut irises deep as they stare back– you can almost see your reflection in them. and naturally, the night ended with your jaw sore and karina’s hands wrapped around your waist as you slept, and inevitably, you missed your alarm. your phone was in your own room anyway, not like you wanted to go back there that bad in any case. - “do you think we can stay like this forever?” is what karina asked on march 8th. the seasons are shifting and so is she— so are you. your exchanges are more frequent, more deep. it’s just sex, allegedly, but you haven’t told anyone, and it all feels so real. rina installs a mirror in your bedroom on the 9th, full body and tall, initially so you can have a better view of your outfits; the mirror had been on the floor before, and you could only see your midriff and everything below.

the reflection ended up being used for more intensive purposes.

karina sat on the foot of your bed while you sat on her cock, raw, and facing her. she stared into your mirror, watching the way your back flexed as your arms moved around her neck. her mouth fixated on your shoulder, sucking bruises into the skin. her fingers snaked around your waist and gripped it, one hand on your hip and the other on your thigh. karina shudders when she finally comes, shakily caressing your cheek with her thumb and kissing you softly. neither of you were very talkative during the act, or afterwards for that matter. something shifted. “i want to try something,” karina picks you up, her dick still buried deep in your cunt, and flips you over, pinning your back to the mattress. you feel it shift inside of you, twitching ever so slightly, and it makes you gasp. “sorry. did i move too quick?” you meet her question with a head shake. “no, never. it’s okay.” rina finally looks down between her legs, carefully pulling out and moving her head so she can watch her fluids ooze out of your swollen pussy. “can i?” she whispers, and you cock your head like a confused puppy. karina had only gone down on you once, and that was a year ago. you weren’t sure if she just thought you hated it (you didn’t) or she just didn’t like doing it. karina was obviously good at receiving head, but giving had seemed to just not be her forte. that couldn’t possibly be what she was asking for. “can you…?” you trail off, an eyebrow quirked. “taste.” straightforward enough. you’re shocked, but you nod. karina holds your thighs, spreading them open. “so pretty,” she whispers, grinning at the sight of your puffy cunt, overstimulated from her cock. she presses the base of her tongue to your clit, eyes following yours until they’re out of sight as you feverishly throw your head back in a sharp moan. she suckles, gently rubbing the goosebumps on your tender skin. she sighs into your heat, doubling your reactions before she pulls back. “you taste good, too,” the mixture of flavors— her own semen mixed with your hot slick made her salivate, and almost instantly made her hard again. karina spits onto her hand, coating her cock with saliva as she strokes, her tongue pistoning in and out of you until you finally come on her face. her climax follows shortly afterwards, but onto her own stomach, embarrassingly. thankfully, it wasn’t much, seeing as she had already came once before. “aw,” karina teasingly pouts. “baby made such a mess,” she says, wiping your slick from her chin with the back of her hand. you swat her on the top of her head. she quietly shrieks. “oh, shut up, asshole, you just came all over yourself,” and she does shut up, but she shuts you up too. if she goes down, you’re going with her. she kisses you, and so many flavors enter your mouth. all not half bad. the combination is a little odd, though. it tastes of sex. “go shower,” you urge her, and without a second thought, she complies, standing and walking to the bathroom. as soon as she leaves you become very aware of your now sore and aching legs. she always debilitates you. every time, without fail. -

mid-april was when you started to feel it. a fuzzy feeling in your stomach, not as easy to dismiss as you would have liked. a latent aching in her chest every time karina was near, every time she scrunched her nose at a bad smell or asked you to open a plastic water bottle for her. this is what you were afraid of.

the question comes up late at night, while you trace karina’s face with the pads of your fingers in bed, mapping her features carefully. it slips out before you can even think of stopping it.

“are you sleeping with anyone else?”

a small smile tugs at karina’s lips. her eyes were closed, but now, they flutter open. fuck, she’s cute. maybe a little too cute for comfort.

“no, not really,”

you scoff. “not really? it was a yes or no question.”

karina isn’t taking this seriously. she sits up, leaving your fingers dangling on the pillow she once rested on. “i said no,” karina pinches your arm playfully.

“you said not really,”

“i also said no, didn’t i?”

she gives you a smug grin, the kind of grin that makes you want to want to wipe it clean off her face, either with your lips or your hands. the kind of grin that makes you want to suffocate her, whether it be via sitting on her face or shoving her face in a pillow. what a bastard.

“do i need to spell it out for you?” you grumble, swatting her hands away. they were smaller in comparison to most people you had slept with, but you had gotten used to it. her fingers were a comfortable size inside of you— not too big but not too little. you had adapted. she nods, her gaze flicking from your eyes to your lips, up and down, down and up. “has anyone touched your dick but me since we started… this? whatever this is?”

karina swirls circles on the skin of your thigh, sucking her teeth. “no,” she whispers, barely audible.

“a little louder?”

karina gives you a playful shove, her face and ears reddening. “shut up,” she whines, climbing on top of you, not meaning to make this situation any more complicated than it already had to be, but her clothed length pushed up against your thigh softly, still soft, but not for long after making contact.

“fuck,” she grumbles, pulling away. “i’m sorry.”

“what for? i can fix it for you, if that’s what you want. or what you need,”

karina breathes into the crook of your neck. “not what i need. you’re what i need, just you,” karina’s breath is hot, tickling the lobe of your ear and shoulder. “is that okay?”

of course it’s okay. it’s more than okay— she’s more than okay. one hand situates on her waist while the other teases the waistband of her shorts, fishing out her cock, leaking with pre-come.

“hurts,” she groans.

“i know baby, it’s fine,” you coo, stroking torturously slow, enough to make drool drip from her bottom lip. “can you fuck me? fuck me like you mean it, please,” you whisper in between chaste kisses while her fingertips slide your panties to the side and rubbing her slicked tip along your entrance. “say you will, unnie,”

“i will,” the older whispers, sliding into you slowly but surely, as if it was the first time. letting you adjust to the size. you’re tighter than ever and you feel the throbbing and twitching inside and it’s overwhelming. you sigh contently, pitching forward and forcing her to move deeper. everything is wet and filthy as you clench around her.

by the time karina comes, her eyes are unfocused, heaving as she pulls out.

after class, you use your remaining braincells on overanalyzing your recent interactions with karina while she drives you home.

she drove you to class.

she drove you from class.

she’s pulling over at a café for tea.

she cares, that’s for sure, but you can’t tell if it’s flirty or friendly. this isn’t a date. she isn’t buying you tea to be flirtatious, this isn’t her attempt at being coy. she’s doing it because you’re friends. she doesn’t kiss you constantly because she likes it, she does it because you’re friends. it’s a good friendship, it was before you first sucked her off in that godforsaken car, and it is now. you’re good buddies. good buddies, who fuck. a lot.

but it’s a little soft. you have to really try hard to bite back that childish smile when she spits out your order to the barista without missing a beat, as if she’s memorized it since the day you first told her. it feels like touching a freshly washed and conditioned pillowcase, now devoid of stains and impurities. it feels like sleeping after a long day of work. it feels like the euphoria of holding karina close while she’s still inside, the warmth of it all almost enough to sweat over. that’s what it’s like. they’re good buddies, but it should be more. it feels like more.

when you recieve your drinks, karina opts to sit outside. the wind tosses her hair around, and she briefly tucks it behind her ears and holds it in place to get a good, long look at you.

you eye your eczema marks. she notices just as quick as you do.

“have you been putting that ointment on like i asked?”

good to know she still cares.

“sometimes,” you take a sip of your tea. the barista brewed it a little sweeter than you would have liked, and the ginger flavor is a bit too overpowered. you swallow it down anyway. “when i remember,”

karina tuts. “you need to remember all the time.”

you trace your tongue around the hole. “it’s not so bad anymore, since it’s getting warmer, yeah?”

karina looks away. “what are you doing?”

“nothing.”

“i’m not gonna fuck you. we’re in public.”

you snort. “when has that ever stopped you?”

karina stops dead in her tracks. it was true. of course, she preferred to do these things in the comfort of your own home, but it wasn’t like you hadn’t ever done it in public. only ever cars and bathrooms, but that was only when she really needed it. a painful amount of need.

“you can’t just wait?”

you begin to shake your head no, but, on second thought, sure, maybe you could. maybe it’ll feel better the longer you go without it. without her.

“you owe me,” is what you reply with, taking another slow sip. the tea is hot, so you’re careful not to fill your mouth with too much.

karina rakes a hand through her dark hair, pushing it away from her eyes consequentially. “if you weren’t so good to me, i would’ve called you a slut by now,”

you laugh. she was always so nice, you could never even fathom that kind of vulgarity leaving her lips, let alone towards you.

“why haven’t you? how do you know i’m not into that?” you tease, a little more fervor in your voice than what would typically be deemed appropriate.

karina uses her cup as a handwarmer, holding it and slowly spinning it repeatedly on the table as she speaks. “you don’t peg me as the type of person to like that,”

“i don’t peg you at all, so,” you jest, tilting your head.

“pervert,” she whispers under her breath.

a little overzealous, you kick her leg under the table.

“don’t worry, i like when you’re nice to me. i just wonder how you tolerate me,” you soften the blow by rubbing her knuckles from across the oak. this is what couples do. and she isn’t even stopping you.

“i wonder too,” she pretends to think. “you’re pretty, maybe. that probably helps.”

“god, rina,” you roll your eyes. cheesy. “no need to stroke my ego,”

she leans back in her chair, legs parted almost invitingly. she isn’t asking for anything verbally, but she might as well be. you take it that way regardless.

“mhm,” karina interlocks your fingers and crosses a digit over your index, pushing down and popping the joint. you feel like the pressure in your hands has been released. a moan escapes your lips, not intentionally, but karina has that same bastard look on her face like she planned this. “yeah. i’m gonna fuck you so good when we get back,”

and that promise was enough to hold you back, just for a little.

it’s like a premarital honeymoon. no— a pre-relationship honeymoon. every night ends with sex, and it isn’t even just every night now. sometimes twice a day, whenever it seems right.

the days you two don’t end up tangled in the sheets, flushed and nude, chests heaving, are the days that leave you feeling empty, figuratively and literally. you feel like you could do this forever. maybe it’s a possibility.

you bring it up in may, when the heat in the atmosphere is rising but the heat between you and karina rises faster. you hate these conversations. you hate that you can’t stop talking about it. curiosity killed the cat, and you are one hungry kitty, that’s for sure. possibly high on catnip.

when you ask karina her thoughts on marriage (not with you, of course), she doesn’t answer. she pretends to be asleep, but her eyes are clenched shut too tight, it’s evident that she’s still awake. you don’t push it.

the following morning, you wake up with karina’s lips pressing sleepy open-mouthed kisses to your jaw, her wet tongue making fleeting contact with your skin every time.

you grunt with every peck, until the pecks become more than that and travel to your mouth. you’ve never kissed her in the morning before, but it feels good. her tongue pushes back on yours and it feels like she’s devouring you. you would let her. she could swallow you whole and you wouldn’t even mind.

she trails a series of kisses down your abdomen, stopping just below your navel and moving back up, meeting your lips with her own. it throbs between your legs.

“god, you’re so fucking beautiful,” she mumbles, her eyes still hooded and voice raspy and tired.

as your body wakes up, as do the butterflies in your stomach, fluttering.

“quit that,” you say, subconsciously. it isn’t what you want. you don’t want her to quit that. that’s the last thing you want.

you hear the hummingbirds outside, and it snapped your brain back to reality. you have class, and as much as you would like to lay here with karina forever, that’s not what your gpa wants. your friends have already started to wonder where you spend all your time nowadays. your professors don’t need to ask the same. unfortunately, karina pulls away and topples back over beside you. she’s very obedient. she doesn’t snarl or get upset when you tell her no. she doesn’t even seem embarrassed. you feel the urge to pet her and say ‘good dog’ for being so good at following directions, but you don’t. instead, it just ends with a thank you and a kiss on the antihelix of her ear.

she pouts. you thought this would be over so quick?

“can’t you just let me?” she whines, grumbling under her breath like a spoiled child. this is what she wants. it’s what she wants, you asshole, and you aren’t even giving it to her. “you make me feel good. why won’t you ever let me reciprocate?”

standing over her in bed, you feel a little bad. “making you feel good makes me feel good, rina. it’s fine,”

evidently, that isn’t a good enough answer for her. “making you feel good makes me feel good, and if that makes you feel good, then we all feel good, yeah?”

the hodgepodge of words sends you spiraling.

“you’re reading too deep into this.”

“you aren’t reading deep enough,” she rebuts, hand on your wrist. “just once. i like you. let me show you.”

karina had never been the kind of person you assumed just wanted to get her dick wet. this wasn’t just fucking to her, and it wasn’t for you either. you liked each other, but not in that way, of course not in that way.

of course not.

you had said it to yourself a million times to drill it into your skull. you’re just friends. you’re just friends. you’re just friends.

you cave.

“fine,” and you situate yourself back on the bed, on the foot, this time. karina understands. she moves to the floor, on her knees, carpet burning the skin on her caps. right in front of the mirror, how convenient. her fingers curl around your panties, tugging them to your knees, before she looks up at you with lusty eyes filled with want.

“you’re going to watch yourself?” karina asks. your lack of an answer tells karina everything she needs to know. “dirty girl.”

soaked, she kitten licks your folds, swollen with desire and glistening. your own wetness coats the very inner parts of your thighs. “christ,” she croaks, voice muffled from between your legs, “so fucking wet for me,” and she watches you intently as she sucks on your clit, swelling on her tongue. you had actually intended on looking in the mirror until karina started staring. it made you feel a little comfortable, really. she could be doing anything else, but she was here, bruising her knees for your pleasure, and making sure to eye your pretty face the whole time.

it makes you want to love her. to hold her hand and kiss her and actually be able to say, ‘this is my girlfriend’. it was a silly dream, but the thought of it mixed with karina’s tongue fucking your hole? yeah. it was more than enough to make a mess all over her chin. it was shameful how quick it ended.

it was getting sickening. maybe it was the heat of the moment, maybe it was something entirely different. maybe it was just nature. an incessant voice at the back of your head just fucking begging you to say it. you part your lips.

“i think i love you.”

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dailyadventureprompts · 3 months

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I've got a new d&d group and they're almost all new players, with some of them having played with me before in oneshots/ gotten a couple sessions into campaigns that fizzled.

There's the usual learning pains: No one's quite got a handle on the rules yet and is relying on me for which dice to roll ( it's a D20 friends, it's always going to be a D20 unless it's damage I don't know how many times I have to say that). Person A is nervous and over-talkative , person B is nervous and withdraws from conversation, Person C is always running a little late...

But what really surprises me is the difference between them and the group I've had going for 2 years now:

Newgroup THEORIZES in a way that I don't think I've ever seen despite playing this game for two decades. I'll ask them what they're doing and they'll have a multi-minute chat weighing the value of different options. They don't turn to ME, or ask me if things are possible ( which is what new players tend to do), they turn to eachother and ask if they think it's a good idea that they do X or Y and then what could happen from there. I'm trying to be a good DM and let them learn the ropes but it's FASCINATING response. For example; the barbarian says "I'll use my shield to pin the monster in place so we can question them about the villain" and before I can even get into my response another player will say "but what if I used my rope instead to tie them up?", meanwhile none of them have confirmed if the monster is in any way related to the villain or is capable of speech (it wasn't, it was a mimic fyi)

Newgroup is LASER targeted on their goal, which was a surprise as someone who was DMing for a party that purposefully jumped ship on the A plot ASAP and is actively resentful of anything resembling a main quest. Newgroup passes through a mining village that's been deserted after a recent attack by monsters which drove people up into the hills, a Classic rescue mission with a bit of a dungeon delve on top, intended to give the party some XP and magic items before they leave the early game and I stop pulling my punches. Newgroup stays just long enough to confirm that the monsters have nothing to do with the A plot and unanimously decide to leave the village post haste. Meanwhile I have to be careful about what information I drop to oldgroup, as if they catch a single whiff of villanious wrongdoing they'll drop what they're doing and divert their attention to wiping that threat off the map. I've now had to have multiple villains make peace treaties in all but name with this party because of their habit of knocking out rivals/threats/governments.

Because oldgroup know the game really well they're less experimental with what they want to accomplish. They know that things can be solved through class features/dice rolls/damage, and so those are their default solutions to most problems. Meanwhile newgroup has no IDEA what the limits of the game system are so they're trying clever stuff left and right. " Can I hit it in the eye with my arrow? Can I use this spell to find out if _____, Can we use the flying boots to _____?" They're asking genuinely good questions so often that it's made me want to play around with the d20 resolution system to get something more closed to the " drawback/mixed success" sorts of results you get in apocalypse world style games. ( I think I found a neat fix, more on that to come)

#dapper digresses

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raygunny · 7 months

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Tav's Name

Word count: 661

The party finds out that 'Tav' is actually just a nickname. She refuses to tell them what it's short for, which is very unlike her. Cue the burning curiosity from the whole camp. Everyone approaches her in their own way.

Karloch tries the direct approach - essentially bugging Tav throughout the day. 'Just checking if you want to tell me now', she says with a grin each time. Reassuring Tav that if it's embarrassing, she'll try her best not to laugh. It's all in good fun though, no real pressure. She just likes teasing Tav about it at this point.

Wyll keeps throwing out names like she's Rumpelstiltskin. He starts out strong with 'Octavia', but towards the end of the day he's really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Tav's not sure why he's even trying this strategy - she already told him she wouldn't confirm or deny his guesses. She suspects that he and Gale made some sort of bet to see who can figure it out first. He finally gives up when he wholeheartedly guesses, 'Tavern?'

Speaking of Gale, he keeps trying to casually bring it up in conversation. 'You know, I was reading a fascinating book the other day about the power of names. I'd be remiss if I didn't offer to look yours up - if you wanted to of course. Our little secret', he says with a wink. He's so bad at being casual. She just shakes her head at each worsening attempt, it almost makes her want to tell him out of pity. Or to get him to stop pestering her, she's not quite sure.

Astarion thinks to himself, how could I have missed this? - followed up by - and why won't she tell us? Between the two of them, he's the one that's usually keeping secrets - not the other way around. How very intriguing. He tries to charm it out of her, 'I just want to know what name to call out next time we have a little midnight rendezvous', he says with that charming smirk on his face. When she dodges all his tricks and refuses to budge, that's...irritating to say the least. He can't stop thinking about her though, well her name that is. Ahem.

Shadowheart is not really all that interested in trying to coax out Tav's secrets. As a follower of Shar, she respects the secrets of others. And if Tav isn't telling them, then it must be for a reason. That still doesn't stop her from at least trying. 'I would share one of my secrets if you share yours', she says late at night when it's just the two of them by the fire. It's unlike her, but she's grown very fond of Tav. She can spare one small secret, she tells herself.

Lae'zel really couldn't care less about what Tav's full name is. Nickname or not - the only important thing is that Tav responds when Lae'zel yells her name out in battle. After watching the group pester her all day, she doesn't even ask. Though, that doesn't mean she hasn't been keeping an ear out when the others have made their attempts.

Halsin, the respectful yet smooth guy he is, tells her with a soft smile, 'While I am quite curious and would love to hear what I'm sure is a very lovely name, I am perfectly content with whatever you feel comfortable sharing with me. Tav suits you well after all'. That almost gets it out of her, but she stays resolute. She can't give in so easily. Perhaps another night, she thinks.

There are no dark secrets or skeletons in the closet for Tav, but it does turn out Wyll was right - her first name is actually Tavern. She's always found it a little embarrassing, but it's not her fault that she was born in one and her folks just ran with it. She'll hold onto this secret till a day where she knows they all need a morale boost. She's sure she'll never hear the end of it.

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f1byjessie · 1 month

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A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part twelve.

The first coherent thing you say the morning after, as you tug your sweatshirt back over your head and resolutely ignore the sculpted planes of Lando’s abdomen while he lounges in bed and watches you, is: “This can never happen again.”

He makes an inquisitive sound. “Can this maybe wait until I’m actually awake?”

You look over your shoulder just in time to catch him yawning into his elbow, and for half a second find the drowsiness to be endearing━ the way his knuckles rub languidly at his half-lidded eyes, his scratchy morning voice, and the wild case of bedhead that’s got his curls sticking up in every direction. It’s only when your gaze finds and latches onto the dark bruise sucked onto his collarbone that you remember you can’t be entertaining this anymore than you already have, adorable sleepy morning habits be damned.

“Lando.”

At his name, he opens his eyes again and meets your stare.

“This━” you gesture between yourself and him, “━can never happen again.”

You do feel sympathetic for trying to have what’s intended to be a serious conversation so early in the morning, especially when he’d really only been woken up by you practically throwing yourself out of bed, but the gravity of the situation had slammed into you the moment you’d opened your eyes to see his peacefully slumbering face across from yours.

There isn’t actually a clause in your contract that forbids you from entering a romantic relationship with anyone else on the team━ technically, there aren’t any mentions at all about anti-fraternization rules━ but just the thought of how badly this could fuck things up for the both of you has you preemptively planning to take an ibuprofen or two the minute you make it back to your own hotel room in preparation for the nasty headache you’re sure to get.

Firable offenses aside, McLaren could just as easily cite some other reason to decide not to renew your contract at the end of the year if they deem the “partnership” between you and Lando to be too detrimental to his performance ability. You might be a good photographer, but Lando’s a great driver and he’s certainly more valuable to the team than you are. He’s a one of a kind, and you’re one of plenty in a market saturated with young talents desperate for a chance to make it big.

On top of that, you’re not even sure how ethical it is to sleep with your coworker, all things considered. It’s your job to follow him around every week and take pictures that you plaster all over social media. You’ve already gotten a glimpse of how difficult things can be in the midst of an argument, but if things turn serious━ assuming, of course, that Lando is after something serious and that this isn’t just a bit of fun meant to keep him entertained with the added convenience that you’ll be traveling with him for the foreseeable future━ what sort of added ramifications would an argument have then? You’re not sure the professionalism the two of you have managed the last few weeks prior to making up would be able to survive a messy breakup.

“You’re spiralling,” he comments, sliding out from beneath the covers of the bed. He’s very nonchalant about his nakedness.

You avert your eyes.

“So maybe it’s morally grey territory,” he continues, leisurely collecting his clothes from where they wound up strewn across the floor after being discarded amidst the night’s activities. “But we’re both consenting adults━” he tugs his sweatpants back on, “━and so long as we both stay consenting adults I don’t see what the problem is. I don’t really have any plans to be magically turned into a baby anytime soon. Unless you did?”

You stare at him incredulously, ignoring the fact that he’s still shirtless and now that he’s standing and facing you it gives a clear view of all the hickeys painted across his skin. Hickeys that you left there, and that you can remember leaving there despite attempting to shove the memories down and forget them.

He stares right back.

“In case you suddenly forgot, I’m supposed to be in a committed and exclusive relationship with someone else,” you hiss.

“Yeah, but it’s not real. You aren’t actually dating him,” he answers back with a shrug. “It’s a PR stunt, you said.”

You don’t actually care about Garrett Ward or the fake claim of faithfulness between the two of you. If there weren’t guaranteed to be nasty consequences for you, you’d let the staged relationship crash and burn in a blaze of vengeful glory. But that’s exactly what’s stopping you━ the consequences. It isn’t just your reputation on the line like it would be if you were some no-name fan who somehow managed to score lucky. If you go down, your career goes with you and that also means waving goodbye to Lando and Formula One as a whole.

Even if you managed a miracle and didn’t lose your job, the media would not look favorably upon you. At best, there would be a smattering of fans from people like Jack and Lando speaking up on your behalf who would defend you for a month or two, maybe a media outlet with a more present stance on women in sports would try to lessen the blow if the right people said the right thing. But the reality is that you could sit down and regale the whole story about Garrett’s blackmail━ starting from the very first call asking you to dinner and detailing the proof of his threats and manipulation━ and there would still be people out there painting you as the villain in his story.

You’d be designated another “bitch” who ruined the career of a perfectly good athlete, and they’d speculate into your motives, into why you chose to tear him down. It would discredit the actual wrongness of Garrett’s own actions and instead pin the blame on you and your jealousy. Or, whatever else they’d attribute it to.

So no, you don’t care about Garrett Ward or his rotten excuse for a heart. His feelings can go fuck themselves for all you care. But even still…

“The public doesn’t know that, Lando,” you start to explain. “I can’t be seen with you because, fake or not, do you know how horribly it would end for me if I were painted as some adulterous slut? They already tore me to pieces just because I was with him in the first place, can you imagine how bad it would be if it got out that I’d supposedly cheated on him? Do you know how much meaner these people would get if they somehow believed they’d been proven right about me? That the things they were saying were right all along?”

He’s silent now.

“There’s a reason I haven’t tried to get myself out of this situation already,” you continue, beginning to pace the length of the hotel room. “Like I told you yesterday, even if he makes his claims and I manage to prove him wrong, the damage to my reputation would ruin me. I’m lucky that I had McLaren to come back to and that’s what made it easier to push back on his demands, but can you imagine if I didn’t have anything lined up after that City gig? I would’ve been even more desperate to get any sort of work and Garrett absolutely would’ve capitalized on that. And I can’t keep banking on the fact that McLaren will save the day because what if one day they don’t?”

Lando crosses the distance between you and rests his hands on your shoulders, bringing your harried pacing to a stop. He looks like he’s about to give you a pep talk, and the absurdity of the thought is almost enough to make you forget about the seriousness of this entire situation and laugh. Almost. You are, unfortunately, still painfully aware of the line you’re now walking and how terrifyingly thin it is.

“McLaren would never get rid of you, so you don’t have to worry about that,” he says after a moment.

“You don’t know that,” you tell him, shaking your head and pulling free from his grasp to resume your nervous treading in another section of the room. “You can’t know that. Honestly, the backlash this could have would probably be enough to get McLaren to fire me on the spot. If not immediately, then there’d at least be enough harassment from Garrett’s fans for them to eventually decide letting me go would be the best course of action for the sake of their own reputation.”

He crosses the distance between you again, and this time pulls you into his arms entirely. He’s still warm from being beneath the covers and you soak up the comfort as much as he’s allowing you to, burying your face into the crook of his neck and reciprocating his hug by wrapping your own arms around him and grabbing at the back of his shirt.

“Obviously, this is something you’ve thought about a lot,” he starts, running his fingers up and down your back soothingly. “And it clearly stresses you out. But I really like you, Y/N. Honestly, it’s embarrassing. I’ve fancied you since I met you. You walked in and it was like one of those dumb romcoms you’ve made me watch. I just… I just knew. And I wanted you to like me, too.”

You hum in acknowledgement and sag deeper into him, clutching tighter at his shirt. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because you hated me,” he answers simply with a tiny shrug. “Or, at least, I thought you did. And then you didn’t, but we were still so new to being friends that I didn’t want to do anything to fuck it up. I got so anxious thinking about what would happen if we broke up. It would ruin the friendship, but it would also potentially ruin your career if we couldn’t both do our job and I didn’t want to fuck that up for you. So, I was content to just have you close, honestly. That was enough.”

“Until it wasn’t?”

He sighs. You feel the rise and fall of his chest more than you actually hear it. “Garrett Ward is a raging prick and I stand by all the things I’ve said about him, but maybe some of it was influenced by me thinking he’d taken you away from me. And, when I called you that night piss drunk at Daniel’s, I was projecting the anger I felt towards myself onto the people around me. I didn’t take any risks, and because of that I was convinced that I’d lost you in every way that mattered.”

He holds you a bit tighter, “And we know how I handled that.” It’s quiet and he sounds miserable. You pull back just enough to see him looking piteously out the window, a pained look painted across his features.

You release your hold on his shirt and trail your hands across his body until you can grab his face and turn his gaze back on you.

When he’s staring into your eyes, you say, “I want this, Lando. You and me. I really do, I promise. But I can’t.”

His face falls. “If you let his influence over you control every aspect of your life, then hasn’t he already won? He’s gotten what he wanted. He doesn’t need you to be desperate for a job, because he has control over you anyway.”

If it were said in any other context or by any other person, you’d bristle at the accusation that you’re letting Garrett take whatever he wants without at least attempting to put up a fight. You’ve pushed back where you can, where it’s safest, but you have to prioritize your livelihood too and if that means asking how high when he says jump, you’ll do what you must. Not that it feels good to bend to the whims of a man who gets what he wants through fear.

“I just mean━” he hurries to correct himself, as if sensing you offense, “━you shouldn’t have to sacrifice everything that brings you joy just because you’re afraid of what he might do or how the media will perceive it due to his presence in your life. You have every reason to be hesitant to fight back against the power he holds over you, you just shouldn’t have to be.”

You pull him back in and sink into his arms again, pressing your face into his chest to hide the shine of tears in your eyes.

“I can’t promise that there won’t be backlash,” he continues. “But I can tell you that McLaren will stand behind you. I’ll make sure of it. And if they don’t, I’ll walk.” He says it likes it’s nothing━ like he isn’t saying he’ll give up everything he’s worked for just for you. “I can get you a really nice lawyer, too. If you’d want one. Or, you know, if you’d want to come out about what all Ward’s done.”

The idea sounds impossible and yet it’s so close━ close enough that Lando is practically offering it to you on a silver platter. The idea of just coming out with it all and exposing the horrible things Garrett has done. You know on top of Lando’s support, Jack and the other Manchester City boys would side with you, too, and the other members of the team behind the scenes who you worked closely with throughout your time at Etihad Campus. It’s a lot of people, and by proxy you’d probably have a large amount of their fanbase as well.

It seems too good to be true.

But Lando’s offering you the chance to make it a reality.

“I’m supposed to still be mad at you right now,” you mumble into his shirt.

He huffs out a laugh, “Being mad at someone and being in love with them aren’t mutually exclusive feelings.”

“Who said anything about being in love with you?” You tease, though you’re practically melted into his arms.

“I mean,” he starts, and just from the sound of his voice you can tell he’s about to say something stupid and cheeky and it’ll make you want to slap him upside the head. “The way you treated me last night kind of implies that you at least like me pretty seriously.”

You groan in feigned annoyance, pulling away from him just in time to catch the dazzling grin splitting his face. It’s a beautiful sight that you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of no matter how many times you see it. You recall the caption of a post made what feels like ages ago, but the words ring just as true now as they did then, and you stand by them. A smiley Lando is the best Lando.

“If we’re really doing this,” you start, somberly after another moment, “we have to be careful. Like, really careful. No PDA in public. No PDA anywhere unless we know for a fact that we’re alone and there aren’t any cameras. And no telling anyone unless we absolutely have to for health or security reasons, or something. We can’t have this blow up on us, because if they catch you you’ll be just as much of a target for the hate and I will not have you get caught in the crossfire with this, Lando.”

He finagles around a bit until your hands are held in his and he’s pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. “I promise,” he whispers against your skin.

It feels like the start of something perfect.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by user, user, and 561,816 others

footballfansofficial BREAKING: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward, a victim of infidelity?! Ward and his girlfriend Y/N L/N first revealed their romance to the world on the 5th of January. Since then, they’ve regularly shared photos of one another across the social media platform Instagram, and have been sighted on dates around Manchester and London. Though the couple have not recently shared any new posts of one another, fans believed this was due to schedule differences, as nothing has been said to indicate an end to their relationship. With the Champions League back in full swing, Ward has been constricted to a busy schedule of matches in Europe, and similarly as a photographer for Formula One team McLaren, L/N has been traveling across the globe. However, she’s apparently more than just friends with McLaren driver Lando Norris! Pictures from the 24th of March at the Australian Grand Prix in Melbourne reveal L/N and Norris sharing an intimate moment. Check the link in our bio for the full article!

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user oh… that’s not….

user that is NOT garrett ward for sure 🫢🫢

user honestly a cheating scandal was not on my 2024 bingo card

↳ user i mean i’m not surprised but i definitely thought of the two of them it would be ward tbh 👀

user WHAT DID WE FUCKING SAY

↳ user WE ALL SAW THIS FROM A MILE AWAY

user fucking slag 🙄

user ugh!!! us REAL garrett ward fans KNEW this would happen but everyone called us crazy!!! 😠😠 he deserves someone who ACTUALLY cares about him and we knew from the beginning that she wasn’t it!! honestly just the thought that anyone could POSSIBLY do this is SICKENING!!! garrett is such a loving person and he deserves the WORLD!! i hope he doesn’t let this stop him from finding REAL love some day!! 🥺🥺🫶🫶

↳ user ikr?!?! it’s so not fair that he’d choose her when she’d just use and abuse him when he has so many loyal fans that would treat him so much better and would actually love him and all he has to offer. she totally must’ve manipulated him or something!!

user damn… i wasn't l/n’s biggest fan in the beginning but i kinda hoped she’d prove me wrong… yet here we are…

user this is seriously so disappointing to see

user SLUT 🤬 SLUT 🤬 SLUT 🤬

user long distance is not an excuse to cheat and this is such a horrible thing to do to a partner. garrett ward has been exceptionally nice to her, and this is what she gives in return? so many ppl tried to warn him about her closeness to lando norris too. i’m disappointed but not surprised that this was the result. girls like this truly have no shame and no dignity. they don’t know loyalty at all.

↳ user we tried to warn him and this is what happens? like we tried, but you ignored us and called us crazy. make it make sense 😮‍💨

↳ user the fact that he was genuinely so sweet by taking her on dates and posting her on his socials and she turns around and stabs him in the back like this… my heart hurts for how upset he must be right now. and honestly, this lando norris guy is just as much to blame for garrett’s pain too.

↳ user i’m willing to give norris the benefit of the doubt if only because we’ve seen girls like this before who manipulate athletes into giving her what she wants and if they don’t then they move onto the next. obviously ward wasn’t going to just roll over for her every whim, so now she’s moving onto the next guy and is trying to manipulate him the same way she did ward. norris is as much of a victim as ward is.

user WHORE BEHAVIOUR I CALLED IT FROM THE GET GO GUYS

user she really said “hold my beer” and went to go prove us all right about our initial assumptions 👀👀

user knew i should’ve trusted my instincts when they told me she was bad news…

user AINT NO WAY INFAMOUS WOMANIZER GARRETT WARD, AS IN NOTORIOUS CHEATER GARRETT WARD, GOT CHEATED ON BY THE FIRST GIRL HE WAS IN A SERIOUS COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH 😂

user lowkey had high hopes for them bc i gen thought ward garrett was changing his ways and was trying to settle down

↳ user me toooooooo i thought she was gonna be a good influence on him 😔

user can you blame her tho?? you try moaning “garrett” in bed and see how that goes for you

user just because they haven’t said anything about ending their relationship doesn’t mean they haven’t ended it privately! honestly who are we to judge them for not telling the public every detail about their personal lives? this was obviously not a moment intended for us to see and was meant to be shared between l/n and norris, and i honestly find this account in general to be incredibly invasive as most if not all of the photographs the articles are written about are from paparazzi and look as though they were taken without the consent or knowledge of the people in them.

↳ user THANK YOU!! 🙏 i’ve been trying to say that for so long!! speculation is so dangerous and harmful to the very real people that are involved and it can have consequences on them and their careers. these pictures do look very damning, but we’re lacking context into l/n and ward’s lives and we shouldn’t judge anyone involved in this before we have the full story. for all we know, the relationship was ended and this is l/n’s new partner, in which case we should be respectful of her choices to be with someone else and should also respect their privacy and take into consideration the fact that there was probably a reason her and ward didn’t announce a split.

↳ user the only comment of sense on this entire post. istg, some of these ppl just have too much time on their hands and spend it all worrying about the love lives of celebrities that don’t even know they exist. y/n and garrett are both adults and can make decisions for themselves without needing the support or backing of people who don’t actually know anything about them beyond the persona they put on for the public. even if she did cheat, garrett’s a big boy and can take care of himself. he doesn’t need an army of women and girls either half his age or double it coming to his defense. be so fucking for real and maybe go touch some grass while you’re at it.

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry @sideboobrry11 @d3kstar @mcmuppet @happylittlereader @casperlikej @5starl1ght @bellezaycafe @whentheautumnleavesfall @mess-is-my-aesthetic @ssprayberrythings @landosgirlxoxo @lifelessfan @81ja @wcnorris @a-disturbing-self-reflection (CLOSED).

━━ a/n: we are back in business! i am very happy with this part and how it turned out. there's a bit of a time skip between pre-season testing and the australian grand prix obviously, but all questions shall be answered in the next part! thank you for reading, and i hope you enjoyed!

#formula 1 #formula one #f1 #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #formula one imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #social media au #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #ln4 #oscar piastri

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rorah · 2 months

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The mentally stable Dimitri Fire emblem 3 hopes.

It surprises me that there's still ppl claiming so, but then I remember we're talking about 3h interpretations and I have to make peace with it.

But that doesn't stop me from venting a little bit in this little space I have lol. Actually, it dries me and makes me feel bad to bring this up because I will have to talk bad about Dedue, and I don't want to talk Bad about Dedue. He's a genuinely good boy. But "Human" nonetheless, which means Flaws. I like Felix too but he's become some sort of a clown that doesn't make me feel too bad. I like Felix tho, In a different way.

Mostly talking about these two because the take that "Dimitri has better support system" baffles me because, technically, these two are his support system in HopesVerse. The persons who Dimitri relays on and seek solace/advice/support. The rest doesn't really tackle any of his personal struggles (aside from the Mage!Mitri frustrated dream, but that's out of the bad equation in our 'mentally unwell' set of pixels, and Shez only has a glimpse). Contrary, to Houses verse where the whole blue lions cast knew about his shit, didn't know what to do, but didn't leave either.

I tackled this topic with other person on Twitter who was (or still is) on board with this take and the phrase they used was They contained him better, which of course I agree and remarked that was exactly the problem. Contain him is gonna be contra productive. I used a water dam analogy, where the structure of such dam is damaged, and the pressure of water keeps accumulating. Causing a foreseeable damage for the dam itself and the surroundings. You don't need to be a genius to understand it, you need experience or knowledge for mental ill topics tho.

I really don't want to extend so much on here because it's mostly just, rant format more than a proper analysis so I just want to point out these two things in their support conversations.

First, Dedue. Encourage him to keep on the vengeful path. Which we know was the final goal of Azure Moon and if you payed attention to 3 houses message. The whole Vengeful argument was something Bad, to keep it simple. Despite Dimitri actively looking for answers/guidance for something that, in a rational state he can see clearly like vengeance will consume his life (also Shez and Felix called out this behavior). Dedue answer only encourage him to keep on that path, because he would do that 💔. Presenting 2 oposite views is a great formula for confusion and disorientation. Now, Dedue's role is primary SUPPORT, not guidance nor orientation. He will support his shit no matter what, and we are quite aware of that if played Houses.

Second, Felix. Felix is a special case. He is smart but also an idiot lacks A LOT of soft skills to actually be of help. He's the only one who knows in this verse about Dimitri having a mental issue. In their A support to say the least, so they don't close or solve anything. What makes it more worrisome is the fact that Felix conceals the issue as a secret.

"So try to keep that whole "removing their heads" thing in check, yeah? We can just call it our little secret."

this extract here makes me feel so unwell 😭help

The whole burden falls over him and his lack of skills and wisdom on the matter will be too much for him later on. He at least, will be able to recognize that the problem is beyond of his capabilities and will look for help. Felix himself has his own issues and journey where he needs to learn. He's forced to get pass beyond some of his angry teen behavior but hasn't completely get over it.

There is a lot more to tackle, but that requires more work and time. What are the topics some of you think is important to cover around understanding the Hopes verse resolution? Dimitri's route? something? Do you think the route without Byleth is better? With that being said, I would like to delve deeper into character analysis, and the role each played for the Lords too. That also requires to talk about the Byleth and needs a whole analysis on their own, which requires time (which i don't have much lol) To end this vent, I would like to encourage people to do a little research for the terminology they're using like "Support System". Who makes it up and how it operates successfully. The fact that ppl saying "he has better support system" only because he didn't go feral on the run alone is not entirely valid. A reminder that people can feel alone with or without people around them. And containing the issue within doesn't solve any problem. At best, it's presented later. At worse, it gets worse.

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #my lil blorbo with mental health issues #few3hopes #fire emblem warriors 3 hopes #Today I woke up and felt like venting #BUT Just to make myself clear #this has nothing to do with ships #you can ship whatever you want #You do you #Just in case someone has that feeling #This is an analysis from a mental health point of view #because it is one of the strong points of this character and with which many of us connect/relate #So I like to apply psychological and neurological (even psychiatric if necessary) perspectives #And I like to apply realistic theories to this fictional world because that is the good thing about three-dimensional characters #They feel so human that all these hypotheses can be applied #If some of you don't. That's cool too. You do you #Enjoy the game as you please lil fella #ALSO ALSO I'm taking into account what the intention of the developers was #(that would be tricky considering the inconsistency withing the developers' team >___>)

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perictione00 · 9 months

Text

Sex Education

Part 1/2

Pairing: Professor Toji x reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut, reader is 20 and a virgin, Toji's in his early 30s, corruption kink, unprotected sex, oral sex.

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

Being part of a conservative family, you had lived an exceptionally sheltered life. Even at school, you were part of a pretty nerdy group so you never had the chance to flirt with the territories of what your father called the "act of procreation". Not only that but your school treated the very subject of puberty as taboo, consequently, you had an awkward age of adolescence, where you were bewildered by the sudden body changes. Your first period was a disaster and your mother was no help as she made you think of it as a dirty thing. However, it wasn't anything new as you were used to this reaction, rejection, being neglected by your whole family. Hence by the age of 18, you were a prudish virgin, a nun basically who felt uncomfortable in her own body.

It was a total culture shock though when you moved out of your house for college. You saw girls and boys all over each other publically, "Such degenerates", you used to think as you passed by them. Kissing and sex scenes were unnatural to you, it was confusing, and you felt revolted but at the same time weird all over your body. Nonetheless, you kept your modesty and dignity intact, never accepting any proposals or going to wild parties, or dressing like an immoral woman. Your parents would never accept you that way, not like they did in the first place but at least they acknowledged your existence, that was enough. The only thing you didn't understand was why you didn't feel happy or fulfilled. You were keeping yourself the way your parents liked yet you felt isolated and empty.

So on your 20th birthday, you had decided to grow and change along with your surroundings, a resolution of sorts, and that very day, you talked to your roomie for more than 30 seconds, an improvement from your previous chats. She was very sweet and straightforward enough to let you know that you dressed like a nun. As days passed you experienced a lot of new things, you were enjoying your time at the parties, trying on clothes you never imagined yourself ever wearing, engaging in conversations with guys, you were finally feeling like a normal person your age. Everything was pretty much stagnant until you came across your Professor for Animal Reproduction, a man with a scar on his lips.

Professor Toji Zenin was the most sought-after bachelor on the campus and you couldn't complain as you too were fascinated by his good looks and it was a plus that he was great at teaching too. Everyone was mesmerized by the mere existence of Professor Toji, from the way he looked to the way he dressed, his voice, and his body, he was a walking wet dream. It was frustrating as the whole class tried their best to concentrate on his teachings rather than his thighs, to no avail, which resulted in poor performance by everyone. However due to your upbringing, you were always good at academics, so it came as no surprise when you scored the highest in the first test but what surprised you was the public appreciation from the Professor.

Now Toji might look like he had taken advantage of his popularity quite a lot but the guy was a saint. Well, he had fucked some of his high school teachers but after entering the same domain he was certain that it might ruin him for good. He knew about the consequences of having such forbidden thoughts regardless he couldn't exactly help but notice the girl who was always on time, sitting in the very first row, never missing his lectures. He valued all of his students equally, he just cherished you a bit more. He observed the way you stared at him, how you blushed whenever he caught you staring, and how you submitted your assignments punctually with a sweet message. Your cute little outfits were no help either, never failing to make him uncomfortable in his pants. Nonetheless being the professional person that he is, he kept these carnal desires latent from everyone up till you scored low on your test for Sex Education.

Toji was playing with your clit as tears brimmed your eyes, you couldn't stop moaning, it was all too much. You were sitting on his lap, half-naked with your tits out and your skirt was barely covering your sex. "This right here, is the most pleasurable and sensitive part of a woman's body", Toji explained as one of his hands moved to your tits. You were unable to form any coherent sentences as you kept moaning. Toji suddenly entered a finger inside of you, you were so wet that he easily entered another two. Goosebumps covered your body, you were drooling in lust and your walls tightened around his thick digits. Toji realized that you were nearing your orgasm, so he stopped altogether.

"What-..why..please.. please don't stop-", you were cut off as Toji turned your body, making you lay down completely on the bed. Before you could comprehend, he held your legs apart as his tongue lapped at your alluring pussy, fucking your hole. It was too much stimulation, you tried moving away but Toji held your thighs in a tight grasp, yanking your sex towards his face. "Please..ahh..it's dirty", you said feeling shameful. Well, that was enough to trigger Toji to drag his tongue to your clit and suck on the bud. You were losing your mind, as Toji continued savoring your cunt. Your body was on fire as you bucked your hips instinctively and slid your fingers, grabbing onto Toji's hair tightly suffocating him as Toji gladly rubbed his nose on your clit. Your vision turned white as you climaxed, you were left breathless as Toji helped you through your orgasm.

You were just catching your breath as Toji's lips found yours, kissing you deeply, biting you. You were distracted by something hard nudging your thigh as his tongue was exploring your mouth."mff..Toji", you said as you pushed him slightly, looking down, only to see him hard. You slipped your hand under his trousers, wrapping it around his dick."Fuck.. what are you doing?", Toji said sighing heavily. "I wanna make you feel good", you replied innocently. You looked so fucking adorable that Toji could no longer restrain himself, so he led you on your knees, before taking out his dick. He could see that you were intimidated by the size so he asked you to suck him slowly.

You sucked his cock, bobbing your head as Toji controlled your movements. You tasted something bitter on your tongue stopping only to see some liquid coming out of the slit. Without thinking you involuntarily teased him as you licked and sucked harder to get more of it. Losing all control Toji started fucking your throat as you choked. "Fuck, just like that, yeah, you're doing so good ahh", he said in between his grunts. You sucked harder wanting more of him, you were loving it, the taste, his groans, his hands holding your hair, you wanted to be used by him and be at his disposal. He came as his eyes met yours, he came a lot and swallowed all of it, reveling the taste of his seed. "Good girl", he praised you as you got up from your knees. This feeling, the praise, the acceptance, you didn't want this to end, you wanted more, so you asked him boldly if he wanted to go all the way with you and who was Toji to deny such pleasure?

You were an enticing young woman, Toji had to admit and your innocence was enough to trigger his need to corrupt you and turn you into his nymphomaniac slut, which was exactly what he was doing as he played with your pussy to get you wet enough for his size. "I'm a virgin", you announced out of the blue, which didn't surprise him yet he assured you for the sake of it. Toji started with your nipples, giving them the attention they begged for, sucking on one while teasing the other. You moaned loudly as he bit them, you were so aroused that you didn't notice him entering your cunt. You yelped in pain, the stretch was more than you anticipated but as Toji moved gradually the pain subsided. He was biting your shoulder to avoid going too fast but you clenched your walls as you whispered, "No don't, just use me".

Toji went feral as those words escaped your lips, roughly having you in a mating press position, he started fucking you deep with each thrust hitting your sweet spot, sending a shiver down your spine. You arched your back from the overwhelming wave of pleasure as you continued chanting Toji's name in broken syllables. Toji groped your tits, swirling his tongue on them while you grinded on his length wanting him to come inside of you."Fill me up Toji, I want you to cum inside", you said in between your moans. The last bit of self-control Toji had, left his body and his movements became swift and erratic. He came with a grunt, filling you up as you moaned endlessly begging him to not stop, which he didn't, forcing his cum back into you till you reached your high. And then with a heated kiss and a devilish smirk on his face, he said, "Let's go over this topic again in 10."

Part 2

#jujutsu kaisen #toji x reader #jjk smut #fushiguro toji #jjk toji #jjk toji smut #toji smut #toji x reader smut #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader smut #toji fushiguro x reader #jujutsu kaisen Toji #jjk x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader

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dirtytomatoedwrites · 1 year

Text

Underneath It All

Paring: JJ Maybank x KookFem!reader

Warnings: 18+ Smut. Oral (w receiving) PIV, Fluff, Romance, JJ’s got a dirty mouth. (Slight Angst, Slight Dub Con - if you squint) Not Proof-Read.

Summary: JJ wants more than a casual hook up.

Word Count: 2000 words

Your media consumption is your own responsibility.

Fine Print: Steal my writing or copy bits and karma will get ya.

“You know, you weren’t my type,” JJ whispered.

"Wh-what?" you stammered. Scrunching your nose at the sudden change in topic, you wondered what drove him to switch from talking about Rafe to well- you.

"You just- weren't."

"Oh—" And then it clicked. He wanted you to respond with ‘and what about now?', opening the door to a conversation you were not willing to have.

It was not that you did not want to. But there was too much animosity between your friends and his; too much of a painful history for any sort of healthy relationship to form between you and JJ. Each time you spoke, it always came back to something one of your friends had done or said. Toxic messes with no end or resolution in sight. Wasn't this the very reason JJ climbed the tall trellis against the side of your home and into your bedroom window in the first place? To tell you about some shit Rafe had done and why Rafe had more coming to him than a bloody nose and a cut lip?

But there was another reason. Your mind chided, and you baulk under the weight of the truth. It is for this unspoken reason that JJ showed up at your house in the dead of night while your parents slept soundly down the hall. Why even as he spoke, his gaze unapologetically swept across every inch of your body, only for your core to clench with anticipation. But you didn’t want to dwell on that. You couldn’t dwell on that. Nothing good could ever come from that. So you narrowed your eyes at him in a futile attempt to get the conversation about Rafe back on track and hopefully send him back the way he came.

"It's fine. You’re not mine," you shrugged though your heart clenched. You watched JJ’s eyebrow hitch in response, his fingers twitch at his side. Folding your arms across your chest you forced yourself to continue. "I’m not into blondes," you said with haughty resignation.

“Is that right?” JJ chuckled, dimpled cheeks on full display. It gave him a boyish charm if it weren't for his teeth, which appeared white and wolf-like in the moonlight. His blue eyes flickered down at your lips as he licked his own. It made his intentions painfully obvious.

"That’s right…" you swallowed as he inched closer, "..and I don’t. Fuck. Pogues.”

JJ lunged forward, lips crashing onto yours in a brutal kiss. His ringed fingers grabbed your neck and pulled you close, enslaving you to his sensual assault of teeth and lips. Your knees buckled when his tongue entered your mouth, despite your efforts to resist. While his fingers slipped down your body to your ass, kneading the soft supple flesh covered in silk. Growling into your mouth, JJ pulled you closer, grinding your core against his stiffening cock. The action makes you instantly wet much to your chagrin.

Pulling away from the kiss, JJ scraped his teeth along the shell of your ear, his voice on edge as he spoke. “Don’t fuck pogues, huh? Funny since you didn’t mind bouncin' on my dick when that asshole dumped you. Ain’t that right cupcake?” His vulgar words made your stomach churn in disdain and you tried to push him off, but his hands wound their way around your waist. JJ pulled you towards him until your lower halves bumped, then backed you towards your bed and pushed you down onto it.

“That was a mistake. A moment of weakness JJ and you know it.” You said, scrambling backwards on your elbows to put distance between the two of you. JJ grabbed your right ankle and yanked you towards him.

“It was a mistake JJ…a moment of weakness JJ…” he mimicked, high-pitched and shrilly. “That's cute, princess. Real cute.” he drawled, as he climbed on top of you. With those piercing blue eyes staring down at you from a halo of wispy blonde hair, he looked like an angel but something about his expression reminded you of Lucifer too.

In the seconds that followed, a silent conversation ensued filled with emotions you could not articulate: uncertainty, lust, fear. It seemed JJ understood because his eyes softened immediately and an unspoken understanding passed between the two of you. He suddenly seemed different; unusually calm compared to the chaotic energy he usually exuded.

JJ had switched tactics.

“That night in your dad's office while everyone watched fireworks outside..." he said softly, his fingers slowly undoing each button of your silk pyjama shirt. Normally, he would have eagerly ripped them open with fervor and passion but, tonight, his actions were languid and gentle. You felt you could stop him if you truly wanted to.

You remembered the night in question. It was your dad's 60th birthday party which had been a grand occasion; many of the Outer Banks' elite gathered under the stars to celebrate. Your parents had hired a catering company and JJ was one of its servers.

You gasped as he exposed your naked chest to the cool night air, bringing you back to reality. He slowly leaned down tongue trailing along the side of your rib cage.

“Was that night a mistake too?" His eyes flashing up at you as he latched onto your nipple with fervor.

You were immediately swept away as JJ sucked, pulled, and tugged hungrily at your tender flesh. Your other bud was deliciously teased by his nimble fingers while images of that night and JJ holding you down against your father's desk as he pounded you senseless came rushing back. Just thinking about it made you giddy, your fingertips gently gliding into his blonde strands.

Slowly, he kissed down your chest to your silk-covered core, your body humming with need as he buried his face and breathed you in.

"Where were your kook morals when I fucked you at midsummer, huh?" he asked while hooking his fingers into the band of your silk shorts and panties. Clearly, you didn’t have any because you were now lifting your hips for JJ while he dragged them down your legs and off. He flung them aimlessly behind him, before his lips pressed soft kisses on your stomach and hips.

“Or that night under the stars while your friends partied by the bonfire?” He looked up at you, pupils blown “Don’t think I've ever told you this, but that night is one of my favorites. You just kept riding me, an’ riding me, an’ riding me...” he whispered eyes rolling at the sinful thought “You made me cum so fuckin' hard I nearly passed out. Do you remember?"

That night was one of your favorites too. Your friends were down by the beach and you had snuck off to be with JJ on higher ground. The sand dunes provided the perfect spot to pull him down on the white sand and climb on top of him. It was also the first time you had decided to not use condoms since starting the pill a week prior.

You remembered JJ lying beneath you while you fucked yourself on his dick. His hands slid up and down your body touching every part he could reach until they landed on your hips where they stayed.

You rode him for what felt like forever. Slow desperate circles that had you moaning and gasping. The lack of a condom taking both of your pleasure to dizzying heights since you could feel everything. Your eyes never left his handsome face as you watched his expression shift from horny to on the edge of exploding.

When JJ finally came, you had never seen him cum like that before. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, his teeth bared as he whimpered your name like a hedonistic prayer. Watching him become vulnerable and losing control like that had you careening into an orgasm of your own. Your could barely hold on but you kept riding him as you wrung out every last ounce of pleasure. It was only when he brokenly confessed “God, I love fucking you. I love... I love being with you” did you finally climb off him Bambi-legged, with his cum dripping down your thighs.

You nodded at the sinful memory, biting your bottom lip, and JJ chuckled. "Yeah, I knew you'd remember" Pushing your legs apart, he wrapped his arms around your legs, his face close to your weeping core.

"Don't fuck pogues, but your legs are always open for me, hm?" he breathed, his tongue darting out to taste the nectar pooling at your slit. A satisfied hum bubbled from his throat. “Always eager... wet... an’ sweet”. JJ purred before burying his tongue deep in your cunt.

"Oh, Fuck! J-" you gasped, your fingers tangling in his hair as you bucked underneath him, seeking more friction. JJ’s tongue danced along your clit. Using two fingers he spread your petals apart, your pearl on display for him. You let out a sharp cry when he suckled it, toes curling, your head spun from the excessive stimulation. JJ sucked greedily, lapping at your sweet nectar until your clit throbbed from being so thoroughly mouthed.

"Nah uh, can’t come yet, princess" he murmured, as he flicked your clit with his tongue, "Can’t come til I tell you to." His voice was guttural; his words dripping with lust that left you shaking with need. You moaned again, tilting your hips up against JJ's prodding tongue until you forgot who and where you were. Your whole body quaking with the insatiable need to cum.

You ran your fingers through JJ’s silky hair and grabbed the back of his neck with both hands. With your head tilted back on the pillows, desperately you had spread your legs as wide as you possibly can, your toes pointed towards the ceiling. It had him right where you needed him most. Your stomach clenched, not able to get enough air or leverage to do much other than gulp and gasp for breath. You felt like you were a dying star about to be reborn.

JJ sank his fingers deep into your soaked pussy and you lost it. The sound of your cry reverberated throughout your bedroom. Unbridled and loud. Holding down your bucking hips JJ continued to suck your swollen bud as he finger-fucked every last ounce of ecstasy from your pulsing core.

“Can’t even follow simple instructions, hm? You bad girl...” JJ laughed breathlessly, as he crawled up your body leaving a trail of wet kisses along his path. Reeling from your orgasm, you didn't even notice JJ had taken off his t-shirt or that he was now on top of you. You sighed as he kissed you passionately, and you moaned at the taste of yourself on his tongue. His fingers worked his belt and unzipped his fly. He pulled his cock out, the mushroom tip flared and sticky with precum.

“But ’s okay… ” JJ breathed, and he wasted no time pushing his thick cock past your soaked petals, his lips brushing your neck with a sigh. “You needed it, huh baby? I get it. It’s the same way I’ve been needin’ to fuck you all week. It’s all I could think about... I’ve missed you. Did you miss me too?” He pushed deeper and you cried out, perhaps in response to his question. JJ’s hand flew over your mouth to stop the sound from escaping.

“Ah ah, shh--” he smiled, dimples pronounced, lips ghosting your ear. “What would your parents say, hm? What’d they say if they caught their princess takin’ my pogue dick?” But even as he said those words JJ pushed harder into you until his entire length filled you to the hilt. A long sigh escaped you as he began to rock his hips gently.

"Gotta keep quiet for me, baby...” JJ moaned, kissing you along your collarbone. “Gotta keep quiet while I fuck you... Can you do that for me?”

You shook your head ‘no’ and JJ breathed out a laugh. “I know baby, I know its hard but you gotta try, you gotta try...” It was easier said than done with the feel of JJ grinding his hips, his thick cock impossibly deep in you. A low keening sound escaped your lips as you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close to your chest. His skin felt hot yet smooth like marble beneath your hands and it sent a shiver up your spine when he tightened his hold and nipped at your neck with his teeth.

His pace quickened after those few gentle thrusts. He took in deep gulps of air, his breath brushed across your cheek. "You feel soo good.. fuckin’ tight... always chokin’ me--” he whispered, his voice trailing off into incoherent words and moans while his hips picked up their rhythm making you sob into the palm of his hand. This is what you wanted, what you needed, so desperately. The pleasure, the pain, everything only JJ could give you.

"Fuck, ’m close, baby. So close. Gonna cum-” JJ groaned against your ear, “Can I- in you?" he whispered between shallow pants. You knew what he was asking for, what he needed and you shook your head ‘yes’. Your fingertips embedded into the flesh of his back as you clung to him for dear life.

Leaning into his hand at your mouth, JJ drove himself forcefully into you as if trying to hammer home how good it felt filling you. So fucking gone you didn't care about the noise, you didn't care about your bed frame hitting the wall. Because with every pound of your heart, every rush of blood to your core, every sharp burst of light behind your closed eyelids, and the stroke of his cock hitting that spot deep within, your orgasm approached quicker and harder than ever before. The buildup was almost too much to bear and you clawed at JJ’s back for purchase.

"God- Ah! J-" you sobbed, biting down on JJ's palm as your whole body convulsed from the force of your orgasm. JJ pulled out slowly until just his tip remained, then slammed back into you violently. He did it once, twice, three times - a primal groan left his lips as his body stiffened above you, cock twitching as he painted your womb with his cum. He shuddered, gasping harshly against your ear, whispering brokenly the words ‘yes, fuck--’ and ‘mine’

After several minutes of panting, JJ gently removed his hand from your mouth and his lips came to meet yours. His face was full of love as he lazily stroked your cheeks and lips.

"You weren't my type because I didn't think a girl like you would ever want someone like me," JJ admitted softly. "But, I know the truth and I’m done pretending what we have isn’t real. You can’t keep runnin' away from this Y/N..." he whispered, eyes burning into your own. "You can't keep runnin' from me."

#thanks for reading #thank you for commenting reblogging and liking #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x kook!reader #jj maybank one shot #obx jj maybank #obx jj x reader #jj maybank smut #obx #obx romance #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfiction

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oncewhenalongtimeago · 6 months

Note

Hiccup x reader where Hiccup is stressed over being the chief of Berk and is extra clingy to reader?

Better Left Unsaid

Pairing: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III x Reader

Words: 14,022

You wondered if you would ever be able to touch the sky again. You don’t talk about it.

Tags: Httyd 2, Comfort, reconnection, resolution, suggestive content, Gender Neutral reader, reclusive reader (ish), reserved reader (ish), disappointment, rebound, oneshot, ambiguous ending

“It-It’s just too much,” Hiccup stuttered angrily, hushed. He shifted his arms, gesturing lightly but frustratedly with the mug in his shand, leaning against the wall. The water inside sloshed back and forth as he settled the mug down on the table with a thin clacking noise, pushing off against the wall.

It was silent, the empty dark of night all-consuming in a way that blocked everything else out. Even with passion in your voice, you probably still couldn’t speak louder than a gritty whisper.

The Haddock house was empty and dark, the fireplace in the center of the hut untouched as it has been for many nights since the passing of Stoick the Vast. Your basket sat abandoned by the door, washed over by a sheet of blue shadow.

“Maybe you need a system,” You suggested awkwardly, caught off guard as hiccup paced, too taken by his own trouble to care for much else. This wasn’t how you’d imagined any conversation between the two of you to go.

You saw each other around, of course, but events like those usually consisted of turned cheeks. It had been so long since you last talked, and it hadn’t quite ended on good terms.

“My Dad didn’t-” Limbre fingers struggled against the straps and buckles of his armor, inelegant and terse with frustration, Hiccup’s cinched brows and an angry grimace conveying everything you needed to know.

Usually nothing short of a stupid idea from his own head would get him out of it. Or a hard hit. You did your best to give him counsel anyways, despite your unsurety. He’d probably just been swept away by it all, falling back into old habits quickly.

He would snap out of it soon enough, though if he decided just as you did that you’d rather not address anything at all, you would certainly not complain.

“Your Dad didn’t have to deal with so many trappers or dragons.” You shook your head. You had to admit that you were somewhat disconnected from the matter. The two of you hadn’t been close for years, and you kept to yourself pretty closely. This whole situation was an accident, more of a wrong place, wrong time then anything done on purpose, per se.

You moved around the table, nearly stumbling as you went, suppressing a shiver as you shifted through the cold room, like an empty void. You wondered how Hiccup dealt with it.

You snorted.

Helping him out felt like crossing some sort of invisible boundary you usually avoided like the plague. But, you had pity on him and the dark circles underlining his eyes. You didn’t think he’d notice. It wasn’t something you worried much about, anyways, not since you were in your teens. That was a sore spot you’d rather not touch on.

“Isn’t a Chief supposed to be able to handle everything on his own? If I do that, then wouldn’t…” Hiccup trailed off into a contemplative, moody silence, glaring off to the side as you did your best to pull his straps free. You weren’t much better with them than he was now, but it was workable, “I’m supposed to be- Wouldn’t that prove that I’m not-…”

He looked somewhat like his father, with that expression, though the skinny frame and his wild, scruffy hair offset it somewhat.

His father was large and tough, but something you noticed about Stoick, even from a distance, was that he was stressed. And angry, all the time. He knew what to do and when to do it but couldn’t handle a lot. Not always. You could imagine the veins bulging from his forehead now, even from beyond the grave.

You weren’t sure Hiccup was ever supposed to be like him. If he was supposed to even try. Him being Chief wasn’t ever something you imagined even as kids, just as he probably never imagined it for himself, but you were sure if he pulled something together it might be manageable.

“You’ve always been enough for whatever you wanted,” You muttered, “You’ve been enough since before the dragons and you are enough now as Chief. Coming up with some sort of system isn’t... bad. You Dad had a system,” You winced, watching his expression carefully as you brought up his Dad, though you were sure that not much would reach him when he was in this state, “Your father had a second-in-command for a reason, you know.”

“My inventions, they’re not-” Hiccup groaned. You heard the unsaid question. But wouldn’t that be cheating?

“They’re just as a part of you as anything else.” You repeated the age-old adage, “It doesn’t have to be in invention, though, if you don’t want it to be. Just… Establish a chain of command, or something.”

Hiccup threw his head back, scrubbing his face with his hands. Then he looked back at you, as if he was just then realizing who he was talking to.

“The island probably won’t implode without you. They’re Vikings, they need a little lead, just trust me.”

Sometimes you were fine, and sometimes your disappointment followed you like a sheet over your eyes, something buzzing constantly around the periphery of your vision, bits stuck to the back of your boots like poorly spun wool.

You crunched through the grass on the far end of the bridge leading up to the village, nerves coiling in your guts briefly before you brushed them away.

Such was the life of a recluse.

You squinted as you marched across large wooden planks, confident in the sturdiness of the bring just as you were unconfident in what lay before you, a figure sitting with their head down on one of the large logs that made up the railing.

It was a common sight for people to sit by the edge, usually teens, usually with friends, a stolen jug of mead or two in hand on dark nights. It was also a good spot for contemplation. You’d use it many times, especially on rainy, foggy days. It made quite the atmosphere.

However, during the broad daylight, people usually tended to just come and go. They didn’t spend much longer there than they had to. To be honest, most people had dragons. There were many more interesting places up in the sky. You didn’t get that. You dragon, it left a long time ago.

You shifted your basket of foraged berries and sticks and bits under your arm and grimaced confusedly as you neared the figure, closely examining dark gray armor and a worn, untucked green undershirt.

“Hello, Chief,” You said plaintively, after you’d spent a few seconds stopped being him, looking down on hunched shoulders and frazzled flyaways.

He groaned, “Please don’t call me that.”

You snorted, gently resting your basket on the ground, making sure all the latches were secured tight over the lid. It got pretty windy up there, wouldn’t do you any good to lose all of your day’s hard work, “What brings you over to my small neck of the woods?”

You shrugged at his silence, relaxing the the hand on your hip before swinging your legs over the same log and planting yourself firmly to his left

“I can’t do this,” Hiccup mumbled exhaustively, without looking up.

You stuck out your tongue, leaning back onto your hands, which pressed against the warm surface of the wood pleasantly. It took you a moment to remember that you should probably come up with a follow-up question, “Why?”

You were a bit rusty.

“I can’t do this,” Hiccup turned briefly to give you a sour look. You stuck your tongue out at him.

“Okay,” You shrugged your shoulders, ever the loyal confidant.

So you were going the whole ‘ignore the Gronkle in the room,’ route. You could deal with that.

You wondered where Toothless was. He’d taken to his Alpha statues pretty well, as in, he did nothing to enforce it at all, so there was nothing for him to worry about. Come to think about it, it really was just Hiccup, managing both Vikings and Dragons.

Hiccup shot a look at you again, perhaps asking himself what was wrong with you. Below you, the sea rushed and lulled, storming over the jagged rocks below. You watched it like a snake on a mouse, hypnotic in its movements.

“It’s not. There’s so much to keep track of and,” Hiccup started, continuing on, shaking his head, “Everyone’s always got something- this isn’t like- it’s not like my Dad’s just on a vacation. He’s dead. I’ve never taken care of something this long-term. And Astrid-... I’m not so great at the whole ‘commanding’ thing.”

The split with Astrid was rough on him, you knew. He didn’t talk about it much at all, but everyone could tell it was weighing down on him. People talked, and you didn’t necessarily have to be a part of the conversation to overhear.

You hummed sympathetically, as a group of people started to gather on one end of the bridge. You weren’t sure if Hiccup had noticed it yet, though you were sure if he had he was ignoring it for the time being.

“You don’t have to command. You just have to be able to direct,” Most people sort of expected Astrid to be there for the whole commanding thing, but honestly you resented the idea, despite the accuracy of it in practice, “I know a guy who would be willing to handle the stables for a day. Johannes, you remember him, right?”

They, meaning Hiccup and Astrid, were both busy with their own responsibilities, so you didn’t think they had a lot of time to talk it out. It was strange. For the longest time, second to Toothless, of course, she’d been his best friend. The thought sent a sharp, bitter jab up your spine.

You rolled your eyes anyways. A lot of Vikings would give a lot to be able to be in charge of something. As you grew older, you started to realize that Stoick the Vast had a hand in everything. Maybe too much of a hand- that man was stretched thin, “The whole commanding, intimidating bit is Toothless’s job now.”

“Yeah,” Hiccup choked out.

From the corner of your eye, you noticed a pack of Vikings already halfway to you, encroaching from the Berk side of the bridge, arms waving in the air. You looked away for a moment with furrowed brows, beginning to scoot back with high caution, trying your hardest to not make any sudden moves.

“When’s the last time you did something for yourself?” You asked, “Gone to the forge, or flown out?”

“I have no idea,” Hiccup wheezed.

“When’s your next lull? It’s a lot easier for me to say it than for you to do it, but you should probably, you know, take a step back,” You suggested.

“Never,” Hiccup gestured with his hand, other arm pressed against his back, “This is it, for the rest of my life.”

You grimaced, shrugging pityingly as you heard the distant shout of his name, and watched Hiccup crumple in on himself again as the two of you met eyes.

You were a bit surprised by how easy conversation flowed between you, though you were sure whether you wanted to run or just shy away from it. You weren’t sure if you felt anything for it at all.

You shook your head, deciding very astutely on the running bit, swinging back onto solid ground and gently lifting up your shoulders. You hooked your fingers under the edge of your basket and pulled it into your arms, settling it smoothly in hand.

“Well, when your life’s over, I’ll be here. We’ll, ah, figure it out then, I guess.”

You lifted your tunic from your back, tugging until you were able to twist it over your head.

As you did, you eyed the portraits of the wives taken off and replaced, hung lower on the wall and decorated with each of their assets. You’d found them lying around and it felt wrong not to return them to their original owners somehow. They were usually separated from the rest of your dwelling by a thin, old moth-eaten curtain.

You were sure the wives were all just as ugly and unpleasant as Mildew himself, but there was something off about taking them down especially when you kept everything else close to the same.

You patched the hole in the roof with old ship’s sails and mismatched tiles, just enough to keep your cabin barely above freezing in the wintertime.

You shook your clothes onto the floor as you changed, mindful not to look down at any of the scars in the darkness of your hut.

You were probably supposed to feel proud. They were trophies of battle. Most other Vikings would wear them proudly, displayed like an honor bestowed onto them. They didn’t particularly bother you, though it never bode well to linger on reminders of things long since finished.

If only they knew how you’d gotten them.

You didn’t earn them through bravery or anything else of the sort and you weren’t anywhere near one of the worst when it came to scarring. First place probably went to Phegma, who had a huge burn scar just barely covered by her day wear.

You got yours because you weren’t fast enough to dodge the blow of an axe, to jump out the way of a trap sprung on the group without taking some serious damage.

You were a great planner, an architect and an infrastructural thinker. But that didn’t often come in handy on the Edge, especially not when all the buts of your knowledge that could be applied were better covered by the other Riders’ areas of expertise.

So where everyone else excelled, you stumbled. Where everyone else tumbled with the blows, you fell hard onto the ground, and you hadn’t anyone to confide your hurts in.

Eventually trying to keep up got to be too much. When you saw the rest of them, able to come together so easily and shake off all their cuts and injuries, you hurt.

There was nothing quite as terrible as watching everyone, especially Hiccup, walk forwards while you strayed behind, struggling your hardest and failing to even to keep to their heels.

You blinked at the scratching of something sharp against wooden walls, muffled though still clearly audible, coming from the outside. You paid it no mind, ignoring it just as you ignored the tiny shafts of sunlight seeping through the cracks between wooden planks and crumbling walls, illuminating tiny particles of floating dust.

It was just the branches pestering the framework of your salvaged home, one of the half-dead bushes lining the front, nearing the height of a tree, mimicking the sound of a dragon you’d long since pushed from your mind. Yours.

You sighed. It was just another thing weighing on your mind back then, when you’d been at your lowest. You were tired of it, now. But a blank kind of tired.

Like a flat, fresh water ocean. Waveless, shallow. Eerie.

It was a much calmer tired than the kind you felt then; Violent waves slamming you into the sand, rubbing fragile lungs raw with grit and silt. Of the bruised ribs, the fighting, the cuts and hurt no one seemed to notice and the friend you didn’t seem good enough to have anymore.

You reached down to pull your tunic off the ground, tossing it onto a nearby table, covered in dust, made frail through disuse. You coughed at the fine grime tossed into the air, flapping your hand in front of your nose in an effort to disperse it.

You wondered if the sealights would be lit tonight.

“-He has five dragons. Five. And he wants me to come up with a whole set of dragon towers for him how?-”

You trod through the dewey morning leaves, back straighter than necessary, trying not to sweat too much or to look back at the armorless, green-tunic-ed guest at your back.

You couldn’t say you weren’t a little tired of the whole running Berk it yourself. Sure, you weren’t necessarily responsible for it but it was a pastime of a lot of the Vikings around town to talk about it, the mindless gossips, and once or twice while you were in town trading for what you needed.

There were also the sailors, who had a mind, when down by the docks, to share the business of everyone regardless of the tribe. Even as the village recluse, you got roped into it, listening around corners with rap ears

“-Even with dragons it’s not easy to-” Hiccup waved his hands around, journaling under one arm and eyes glued, glaring onto the ground. It turns out he had taken you at your word. Sort of. He was still very much alive. He must have found some time off, or figured out something, because here he was.

You squinted at the paper in your hand, staring at messily done blueprints. There was a house sketched lifted above the ground by a pole and another sketch of a bunch of regular huts stacked on top of each other. You held the same basket from before under your arm, woven bits frayed and flexible and worn.

You recognized the beginning stages of a bunch of these sorts of huts being built all around Berk. It was getting fuller, especially with all of the ex-trappers and Vikings migrating in from the other tribes. And then there were relations outside of the interpersonal to manage. So of course there needed to be a few changes.

“This isn’t safe,” You said drily, “Remember the windmill? These are all going to fall down with the next devastating winter. And where are we going to find logs large and long enough to keep all these houses up? There aren’t nearly enough trees on all of Berk to get this done for everyone.”

“I know!” Hiccup pausing, turning to shake his head quickly, before bending over to scrub the hair on his head, “It’s insane! Everyone wants me to go with it!”

“You shouldn’t,” You deadpanned.

“I might,” Hiccup pursed his lips, “If it gets them to leave me alone. I can’t be builder, Rider and Chief.”

“Well- no, you can’t be. But why don’t you just come up with a few sturdy designs and make him choose one. Same for everyone else. Then just,” You paused, grimacing as you had to grab a branch, pushing it out of the way, “Put someone in charge of building all of them. And making sure they don’t go build in all the wrong spots.”

“I don’t know,” Hiccup shrugged his shoulders, letting his arms fall back to his sides, turning his head up and allowing the light filtering through the thick wooded area to fall onto his face, “Everyone wants something unique. You think they’ll settle?”

You turned around, branch still in hand, “They’ll have to. Same way they have been for three hundred years.”

You rolled your eyes and set forth again, letting go of the branch, which swung back quickly. You didn’t quite see what happened any more than you heard Hiccup’s yelp and the subsequent step back.

“Ow, ow, ow ow, Gods, curse it-”

You turned back around startled, turning back into the branch which followed its inertia, snapping back into your face.

You brought your hand back up to your eye so quickly you smacked, dropping your trusty basket right out from under your arm and falling roughly onto your butt. The berries on the inside poured out of your basket onto the forest floor and you cursed, bemoaning it and yourself and laying the rest of the way down onto your back.

Head against the roots of a tree, smelling the earth and staring up at the dappled sunlight through waving tree leaves, you couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up through your throat.

It was better than getting mad, or crying. Still, you stifled it, shaking your head clear, pushing yourself back up, ignoring the stickiness of the berries stuck to your back and the juice dripping down the side of your hand.

Hiccup looked down on you skeptically, lips quirked in a way you read as confused. You remembered a time when he might have fallen down with you. It seems though that as the two of you got older, he became much surer of yourself.

Still, it was a world of difference from the Hiccup you knew a moment ago, stressed and weighted and tired with all the burdens of everyone else on Berk and the loss of his father on his back.

You wanted to see more of this Hiccup, who was snippy and sarcastic and who you might have loved once upon a time. Who wasn’t stuck in mournful contemplation about identities and relationships and other such sad things.

And maybe you wanted to take back some of him for yourself, as if it might bring back to you the part of yourself you lost, at least for just this little while. Though if this was where it ended, for you, this moment would be more than enough.

He needed reprieve. You decided you would be that reprieve, for as long as he would take you.

“Why don’t we do something besides talk about Berk?” You smiled wryly to yourself, rubbing your hands off on your smock, shrugging your shoulders loose once you got back onto your feet.

You did your best to put on a happier facade, different from the insecure, hunched-shouldered version of you from way back in the past, and different from the apathetic lone figure you were now.

“I…” Hiccup blinked at you for a moment. He looked a tad thrown off by you now with your shoulders high, hands on your waist and back straight, much different from any sort of behavior you’d exhibited since long before.

The wide smirk on your face faltered, and you toned it down a little, slumping a bit. You knew you hadn’t had the ability to make Hiccup smile in a long time, but this was just terrible. Sometimes you wondered if you ever had, or if he was just faking it. It didn’t matter much to you now.

“Or, you can come with me and wait outside while I go find a change of clothes,” You said blankly, letting your hands fall to your sides, “Your pick.”

Hiccup grimaced, probably thinking of the greeting he’d get once he got back. You weren’t quite sure how he made it out here in the first place, and in his casual wear no less. You hadn’t seen him in anything less than a full set of leather armor for a very long time.

Of course, he’d chosen the latter. Sort of.

You let the water from the stream run over the toes of your boots, waterproofed by tar and oil as you pulled up your smock, scrubbed until it was worn and back to the same colorless dull hue you had gotten it in. It was to your benefit that you had worn something under, though the berries were much too pigmented for you to leave your smock on its lonesome.

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” You sighed, picking yourself up and away from the beck, slinging your water heavy clothing over a low-hanging branch.

You turned to look at Hiccup who had decided to wait by the treeline, back to one of the large pines lining the whole island. He had found himself a terror along the way and was minding it with amusement, waving a thin branch above its head and watching and it leapt and curled after.

“It’s alright,” He said almost bashfully, without looking up, as the Terror flipped onto its belly, wriggling after the branch Hiccup waved over its stomach like a fish to a worm, “I, ah, I got Johannes to handle the stables.”

Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck as you pulled down your sleeves, picking at the loose threads and checking for any unpleasant damp spots, of which, for once, thankfully, there were few.

“You took my advice, then,” You noted absentmindedly that this was the tunic you’d worn on the Edge, its color washed out and much thinner, but still very recognizable.

“Yeah,” Hiccup weighed the stick in his hand almost contemplatively before tossing it to the side, watching as the terror scurried after.

“So,” You said, sweeping your foot almost carelessly across the carpeted forest floor, pulling your basket into your arms again, “How have you been?”

“How have I been?” Hiccup asked astoundedly even as he eyed your smock, reluctantly pulling his gaze from it in order to follow as you led your way back up to the forest path, “I think you know the answer to that.”

“Yes, well, no- I mean, from before that,” You scoffed, looking down darkly into your nearly empty basket.

You meant after you left.

You felt the familiar pulling of tides, tugging at something deep and light in your gut.

The air was still between you. It was hard not to feel when there was nothing between you but air and your own memory of some hastily forgotten hurts.

“That was a stupid question,” You shrugged, kicking aside a stick, protruding from just off the path.

You were sure Hiccup had been too stressed earlier to care or notice but it was easily felt now. Your quarters were much too close for you to put on the same old facade and pretend that nothing had ever happened and that the two of you weren’t ever more than strangers, your bond closely resembling something you might have once called friendship.

“I… Well, if you don’t mind tagging along still, I won’t make you do much,” You pushed down thoughts of beating storms, rain so thick you couldn’t see five feet in front of you, “You caught me off guard.”

You blinked away memories of rushing, towering waves and a bone-deep chill only made worse by the pressing winds and the water soaked deep through your clothes and to your bones, causing you to shiver and shake and pull closer to the neck of your dragon.

Pressing deeper into leathery skin and scales, closer than you ever thought possible, praying to the Gods that you might be spared the indignity of living to see another day past your shame, past your desertion.

“Alright,” Hiccup decided finally, eyeing you oddly.

You pretended you didn’t feel the phantom shivers clawing up and down your spine or the echoes of a deep burning hurt you were certain had gone long since unnoticed by all the wrong people.

You made sure your breathing was steady as you marched forward, carefully putting one foot in front of the other.

You listened to the occasional wingbeat of a dragon from up above and the unburdened twittering of small animals in the foliage surrounding you.

You heard Hiccup stifle a yawn from back behind you. You wondered what you could do to make this trip worth it for him. To be honest, you weren’t quite expecting him to take you up on your offer. It was more of a snipe, really.

You’d never been good at those, though. People always took you much too seriously.

There was a clearing up further ahead to your left, one you neared as the trees grew thicker and larger, where you could hopefully make up for some of your lost boon. The berries, you were sure they were gone, but perhaps you could make up for it by finding some other things.

The loudest noise between the two of you was the sound of your footsteps.

You inhaled the misty air of the forest and, eventually, you began to relax.

“Here we are,” You hummed, as the path grew lighter, sunlight filtering between the trees and the foliage.

You examined the crown with care, looking over each leaf and link, turning it around gently in your hands. What began as a task born from boredom became something you invested yourself into with brief interest.

The atmosphere was bright and the sun warm against your shoulder blades, laying like a heavy furred blanket across them as you leaned down, splitting small holes in the ends with your fingernails and threading grasses through until you had some approximation of a flower crown, minus the flowers.

It was the kind of warmth that made you sentimental, bringing up a feeling that felt like something flowering, which you pursued vaguely as if this might have been the last time you ever felt it.

By the time you two had been teenagers, Hiccup had been long since uninterested in that kind of thing. In teenage boy fashion, he avoided things such as flower crowns and playing in the sand down by the beach, much too focused on killing a Dragon and trying to seem tough enough to meet standard.

Then he got Toothless, and from there on after he hadn’t time for anything but Dragons and the Riders. He was too absorbed in his inventions to pay any mind to other things.

You’d deeply wanted to do it, though maybe not always specifically to him, but you’d never found the purpose. You had it now.

You turned to Hiccup with a lopsided smile, watching his chest rise and fall gently for a few moments. Your lips twitched, falling into a small crown as you held out the crown, deciding whether or not you should drop it.

Hiccup blinked drowsily awake at the sudden movement, to which you startled and before you realized it, the crown had gently slipped from your fingers and fell over the crown of his head. Because of the angle, though, it looked to be resting more on his forehead than anything.

You held your breath as his eyes unfocused and fluttered shut again, unregistering, and you backed up on all fours with quiet ease, pushing yourself to your feet, attempting to flee the scene and pretend nothing had quiet happened at all.

You shuffled to the other side of the clearing, craving distance, walking a path around it like you were attempting to trace the edges with your feet. You balanced on it, placing your heel to the other foot’s toe and then again with the opposite foot, arms out in front of you, taking note of all the shrubbery around you.

Eventually the shifting ferns drew back your attention and you glanced back towards Hiccup, who’d sat up groggily, slowly examining the crown that had probably, most likely just fallen from his head.

He looked a complete and utter mess. You hid an ugly grin.

“I hope you like it,” You smiled down at the stem connecting a nice wad of berries to the bush. It was too quiet for him to hear and you were much too far away, but it was more of a musing to yourself anyways.

You leaned back onto your heels, sore for all the walking you’d done. You wondered if they were the right kind, enough to replace the bushel you’d lost earlier. You weren’t completely sure they were edible, anyways.

The two of you had broken out into a clearing, one covered in grass and ferns, and this was where you had decided to set midday camp.

You lounged there in the waning sun, Hiccup more so than you, not so much watching the world turn to oranges and reds as witnessing it in your periphery. You’d lived it too many times for it to be any sort of novel.

You were sure it was different on dragonback, but alas. You didn’t have that option.

After you came back to Berk, taking to the ground like you’d developed a phobia of everything else, it spent a lot of time flying around on its own, going who-knows-where on most days. One day, when you’d had the mind to look for it, you’d found that it had flown off for what was most likely good.

You traced the leaf veins below your thumb, lost in mindless remembrance, ambiguously aware as Hiccup got up.

He groaned like he was a decades older man than he was, audible across the clearing, while putting his hands to the small of his back and leaning backwards mad before he made his way over.

“What’s this?” Hiccup asked, holding what you were sure was the crown in his hand. You weren’t looking and ignored it, not necessarily expecting him to call you out on it any more than you’d expected to make the crown itself.

“Not sure,” You said, before looking over, and glancing up and down at ruffled clothes, messy hair and the sleeve that came up to wipe off the corner of his mouth, “Have a nice nap?”

“I’m just fine, thanks… “

You rolled your eyes, “That wasn’t my question.”

“Does it matter?” He asked, straightening out his shoulders.

“You were out for a while,” You said in lieu of an answer, “Was worried you needed me to drag you back to the village. Tuck you into bed.”

“No,” Hiccup said exorbitantly, “Never.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” You shot back.

“Maybe.”

“Definitely…” Hiccup started, “An exaggeration.”

“Not at all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Everyone’s had their share of it,” You stated, lifting your shoulders exaggeratedly, bringing both hands up by your head with your shrug, while kicking out your foot, turning to trot off in the opposite direction.

“You do a lot of really-need-to-be-dragged-back-after activities.”

“Hey, well, I’ve done a lot of that for you, too.”

“Pick one, name something.”

“I mean, I’ve kept you from falling down off cliffs a lot,” Hiccup ran a hand through his hair.

“I have since not stopped falling off cliffs,” You squinted at him, “And neither have you, I’m pretty sure. Also, that jumping off dragons thing? Serious disqualifier. That counts as at least half a cliff jump every time. Negative helping-me-out points. Honest.”

“What?” Hiccup shook his head, gesturing towards himself, “Doesn’t count. Never met a dragon that didn’t have my back. Natural Dragon Master. No danger.”

A natural if by natural he meant through fifteen years of absolute failure in any sort of interaction with an animal more sentient than a frog.

“Sure…” You remembered all the time he spent as kids, half with you and sometimes without, running across rooftops for his dad. Because you were being chased. By dragons.

“Okay, call me a dragon, right now.” You said, with finality.

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

You spent a little while staring at him.

“What, now?”

You nodded.

You were slightly surprised when he played along, even though you knew you had been egging him on to do it. You watched him cup his hands and chitter oddly into them, in a mimicry of what you understood as a Terror call.

You looked down on him with fake skepticism. Usually, with the call, it was a hit or miss whether a dragon would respond. The dragons with Riders tended to ignore you completely unless you were their rider.

Both of you knew this, though you counted it on being a miss.

“They’re coming, you’ll see,” Hiccup said, waving his left hand as if he was clearing smoke out of the air.

“I hope it blows up in your face. Like that catapult, from when we were kids,” You blew a raspberry at him.

“What, which one?” Hiccup asked.

“The one you tried to roll up to your house, kept rolling down the hill, went straight through Burthair’s cart and smashed through his fence,” You grinned, “Your dad made you round up all his sheep after, remember?”

You remembered trying to help him quietly in secret, gathering a few sheep on a lead before you were caught and sent home to be scolded.

“No, hey, You blew that one up,” Hiccup said incredulously, “That one was all you.”

“Yeah, it was.” You admitted guiltlessly.

“You are the worst,” He said, as the sound of flapping and the rustling of trees grew slightly louder. You ignored it, thinking it was just another random group of dragons lost over Berk. There had been a lot of those as of late.

“The worst,” You agreed. You had a foot already up, halfway into a turn before a bright yellow, spiny body slammed quickly into your face.

You yelped, falling to the side, tumbling slightly as what must have been a Terrible terror scrambled for purchase and left off your face and into the tree line. You blinked, half-shaded under low-hanging branches.

You braced yourself against your arm, bringing your other hand down from your face to see red in the shape of a smeared line across your face. By the look and size of it, it wasn’t too bad.

You opened and closed your jaw with annoyance, realizing quickly that the Terror must have scratched your face.

Henceforth, though, you were much more easily capable of dodging around the sudden appearance of more Terrors, catching a tiny green one just before it face planted into the dirt.

“Woah, woah, woah,” You caught Hiccup, too, doing his best to dodge around them, jumping back as a feisty blue clawed its way up his back as he made his way towards you.

It was a difficult effort to make as by the time you had found solid ground, the dragons began to jump on top of him, covering his arms and legs so that he looked like a pile of very large and colorful bees standing on two legs.

You could help but laugh, wobbling over to help. You slipped your hand under the leg of a terror just before Hiccup fell over with a shout, falling forwards and nearly dragging you with him as he tumbled into the shade of the treeline.

And as if following a command, terrors scuttled away, as if chasing after your peals of laughter, echoing around the clearing.

There wasn’t nearly enough time between Hiccup’s call and the appearance of the dragons for any, or at least most of them to have come in from Berk, nor any guarantee that any of the Terrors heard him, but these gathered quick enough for you to be seriously impressed.

“Yeah… I wasn’t expecting that either.” You stared down at Hiccup as he stared back, the two of you looking at each other with startled eyes, you bent half over and Hiccup propper up on his elbows on the ground before the two of you broke out into breathy laughter.

The flowers and plants around you were heady, filling the breathless airheadedness in between your eyes with even more cotton.

Your voices mixed and quieted in equal fashion, the two of you ignoring the mutterings of the forest until, eventually, they grew into something you could hear.

“Hiccup!”

You froze, a wince stuck on your face.

“Hiccup!” This shout was much more drawn than the last.

It was Astrid.

You saw the shadows of her and Stormfly drift smoothly over the face of the clearing. You wondered if she had followed some of the Terrors out or if she had gotten Stormfly to track Hiccup’s scent.

You were about to look back at Hiccup for some sort of direction before he tugged you after him. Tugged until the two of you were huddled under the alcove you had missed, made by two thick roots of a ginormous tree, waiting.

You weren’t sure how far above she was, she hoped she didn’t see your basket, sitting plainly across the way.

You could tell Hiccup was holding his breath, staring out deep into the forest, where trees went from towering to the sole consumers of light, protecting a misty undergrowth beneath a dark, leafy roof. There was a log to the left of the entrance to the narrow space, half-rotted and sprouting mushrooms out of its side.

You recalled that there had been a notable instance around when the two of you had been just about twelve, sneaking around in the Great Hall for the leftovers post meal. You’d been trapped in a closet, when they’d had those, removed after you and Hiccup had accidentally burned them down at fourteen, with nothing but a loaf of bread between you.

The air wasn’t nearly as musty or stale, and of course it was much darker then, with not the whiff of a fresh plant in sight, but the principal was still the same.

You held very little stake in it all, but you kept close and stiff anyways, the joyful atmosphere from before mixing into something fun and scurrilous, electrifying the space behind your eyes and sending ticklish bolts of lightning down your spine.

It remained there until the heavy wing beats of the Dragons above you faded long into the distance.

The field, littered with scented flowers and bushes, must have muddled Stormfly’s scent. Or she really was just following the Terrors. One thing was sure, though. Where there was one Rider, there were more.

“I thought you said you got people to cover it?” You asked.

“I did. They should have been able to, but something must have happened,” Hiccup leaned back against the tree bark, hitting the back of his head against it lightly, grunting lightly as it did.

You wondered if he had grown a few inchest still since you had last been close to him on the Edge.

You raised your eyebrow, asking the silent question. Are you going to go back?

Hiccup said nothing, looking away, though you couldn’t miss the soft clench of his jaw and the gentle slouch, or the agitated twiddling of his fingers by his waist.

You rolled your eyes. Privately, you almost felt bad that you weren’t able to give him a better time out. But also, there would be many other times for him to make up for it with other people. You wondered if he would ever choose to come back to you.

“They should be able to handle it. They’re not children. But it’s no burden on me whether you stay or go,” You inclined your head forwards.

You placed one foot in front of the other across the uneven wooden planks. You just needed to get down to the fields.

You strode past the bright red hut that marked the Jorgenon Clan, avoiding haphazardly placed construction materials.

You paused where you stood and turned back as Hiccup called your name, standing right in the middle of the walkway. It never ceased to surprise you whenever he showed up.

It wasn’t much. But it still surprised you every time he came with greetings.

You smiled.

He quickened his pace, pulling himself up onto the path and stopping in front of you, prosthetic clicking against wood.

“Hiccup,” You greeted, “What brings you to me?”

“Where do you live, now?” He asked, “I was planning on stopping by, but…”

“Up behind the spire on the way to Gothi’s,” You hummed.

“But that’s… You live in Mildew’s old hut?” Hiccup asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” You nodded, rifling through the satchel clipped to your waist, flicking through rows of herbs with delicately placed fingertips, “So what have you been up to?”

You realized you needed to go off-island soon. The idea filled you with dread.

“Do you really want to ask that?” Hiccup questioned, “because there’s been a lot…”

“Why not?” You shrugged.

“Some rouge dragons have been eating holes into the earth- and with all the dragons underwater, coupled with the Scauldrons-” Hiccup rubbed his forehead, “Basically, they’ve been drilling new hot springs, which has been nice, but no one’s gotten to any of them yet. They always seem to dry up before anyone can get there and back and I keep getting complaints about people’s water getting stolen, or something.”

“Ouch,” You said sympathetically, as Hiccup continued on.

“I wish they’d give it up, honestly. There are more important things for me to get to, but I haven’t even been able to get to all the trading issues with all the other tribes… Anyways, are you busy?” Hiccup asked quickly, looking back and forth.

“Busy?” You asked.

“I kinda want to get out of here before anyone else…” Hiccup shrugged his shoulders, cringing.

“Notices?” You finished, “Let’s go.”

“A hot spring?” You asked aloud, both your and Hiccup grasping the edge of the pool on your knees, watching the water bubble slightly.

Hiccup extended a hand hesitantly, grazing it over the bubbling surface. You watched as the foam fizzled underneath his palms and when he didn't flinch, you sat back and pulled off your boots, rolling up the legs of your trousers, revealing a long scar on the leg furthest Hiccup.

“It’s alright to wash in?” You asked, Hiccup nodding an affirmative.

You rested a bare foot onto the bubbling water, testing it out with your toes, before sinking your legs in with a breathy sigh.

“It’s one of the ones you were talking about, right?” You asked

“Yeah,” Hiccup confirmed, watching you closely.

You let out a soft, disappointed sound at the idea that it might be gone soon.

The spring looked to be about waist-deep, though that might be something you needed to test out before dipping into the pool. It was pressed up and partially embedded in the side of a rocky cliff, spearing into the ground at a sideways angle.

All around, the two of you were packed in by large, lush fauna. Huge ferns, even larger trees and a great deal of mist.

Very, very private.

It was extremely tempting.

“We could… It would be nice, but…” Hiccup reasoned. He didn’t seem into the idea, which was fine. Honestly, you didn’t mind having this spot all to yourself.

There wasn’t much of a practical way to sink into the waters without stripping nearly bare anyways. Hiccup’s armor would most definitely be damaged by the water, and you didn’t like the idea of marching back to Berk in sopping wet furs.

Your undergarments certainly weren’t up to scratch for the kind of soak you were looking for.

“We don’t have a change of clothes.” You said, meeting his eyes head on. The two of you looked at each other for a moment.

Hiccup must have followed the same line of thought, looking at you like he’d caught something odd and he didn’t know what to do with it. There was an odd feeling curling in your stomach, and an awkwardness that hadn’t been so palmable between you since before… Before.

Did it really matter if he saw you naked? Or at least clothed only partially? It wasn’t as if you’d never seen him the same during all your years of semi-sturdy friendship.

You spent a moment feeling the skin on your face begin to warm, brows crinkling with a remembrance that sort of killed the mood before you glanced away with as much casualness as you could muster.

“Do you think we could get back in time?” You asked instead.

“Well, there’s not much hope, but I guess it’s worth a try,” Hiccup started hesitantly.

You and Hiccup stared down at the small bubbling hole at the base of an empty basin. It had been an awkward walk back to the Village. Still, you seemed incapable of suggesting anything else. Hiccup, too.

“Gods damn it,” Hiccup said.

You shrugged, the roll of cloth under your hands shifting only slightly. Besides the tarp strapped to your back and the towels to Hiccup’s, the both of you were carrying a set of undergarments you found which should have covered just enough to remain modest in the springs.

Toothless, behind the two of you, basket in mouth, grumbled as he dropped it to the tall grass floor. You’d brought him along in order to help carry the bulk of your things.

“Well,” You started, puzzling to yourself, hand under your chin, “I mean, we could try what you did last time? With the Terrors?”

“But with a Scauldron, right?”

You nodded, “Honestly, it’s that or head back.”

Hiccup winced, immediately backing away to settle down onto one knee. He was turned to face your right, so that he was looking out towards the forest.

He opened his mouth and cupped his hands, then paused. Then he tried again. But no sound game out. The whole time Toothless looked peeved, eyes shifting between the two of you as he snorted.

You stared blankly, waiting, which was probably the first time you and Toothless ever felt the same sort of emotion, though you most likely meant it in a much more joking fashion than he did.

“I can’t do it with you watching,” Hiccup said, finally.

You squinted at him, wondering what was up with the sudden-onset stage fright, just as Toothless rolled his eyes, shaking his torso like a wet dog, causing a hastily-clipped basket to fall off his saddle.

“Oh,” You said, turning around and grinning to yourself, “Alright. Howl away.”

You hoped he hadn’t figured out how to get to the fish basket yet. It would be a pain to walk back to Berk with everything in hand, and it would be very easy for Toothless to leave without his incentive to follow the hostage on his back.

“It’s not howling.” Hiccup deadpanned.

You knew that. You were actually pretty decent at it, back when you were still involved in the dragon business.

“Alright.”

You stared out at a heavy wall of fauna, a large leaf and a towering set of two trees consuming the vast majority of your vision. You watched a bug crawl up the exterior of one and noted to yourself silently that you would have to watch where you rested your things while you were in the spring, if what Hiccup was trying was to work.

You listened to him shift and shuffle, moving around until Toothless must have gotten tired of waiting and he himself let out a loud, echoing roar.

You jumped back, caught off guard, jerking towards the pair with your ears covered by your hands, undergarments, falling to the grass below.

“How long do you think it will take to fill up?” You asked from the floor, hips sinking into the grass as you pushed yourself up, shrugging the straps holding the large cloth tarp in place off your shoulders.

“Not sure,” Hiccup said, shifting from foot to foot, “We should get changed first.”

“Yeah,” You agreed, tossing it over to him. He weighed it in his hands, examining it before pulling it free and letting it unravel onto the floor.

“Hey, do you have any idea where we packed the blanket?” You asked. It was a bit overkill, but… You bit your lip.

“In the saddle, I think.”

You inhaled touchily as Hiccup gripped onto the edge of the tarp, turning from you to throw the other end out, watching it unfurl as it caught air, “Ah, do you think you could get it?”

Swiftly though not without ungain, Hiccup slung the tarp over one of the low-hanging branches, the ends of the fabric falling horizontally over the thick grasses and bushes around you.

You supposed that meant the tarp was unnecessary, the forest here enough to bless you with cover and privacy. You noted that down.

“What? He’s harmless,” Hiccup said, letting the curtain fall closed behind him.

You squinted into the sky, up through a very small window, shafting light down through the trees. You would have worried that no other dragons would heed Toothless’ call, knowing that you yourself wouldn’t, had you not already heard the hurried beating of wings from up above.

You stuck your tongue out at Hiccup, then turned it towards his dragon.

Honestly, it was still unimaginable to you that Toothless had developed the ability to become Alpha. It was insane, and insanely lucky. For Hiccup, that is.

The two of you, meaning you and Toothless, had never been left alone in the same room together for a reason, though most people just thought it was your fault. The reason being that Toothless didn’t like you, and you didn’t like him as a result of that.

Harmless… Right. You scoffed.

You knew you knew better and you reassured yourself of that fact, as Toothless grumbled at you from across the small space.

Hiccup shook his head at you, quirking the corner of his mouth to the side as it formed a fondly exasperated line, unclipping various satchels and baskets from Toothless’ back.

You grimaced and scooted further away from the dragon, nudging the basket of fish closer to him with your foot, hoping that he might take more of an interest in that instead.

You kept your eyes trained on the dragon even as Hiccup walked to his side with his clothes under his arm shuffling through the treeline and behind the curtain.

“You have enough room?” You squinted at Toothless, resting your arms against your knees, and he narrowed them back.

It had been a tricky job to get his things without anyone else noticing, a lot of careful pressing around corners and tricky, calculated jabs from Toothless, many of which you were still bitter about.

“It’s enough,” Hiccup responded, voice trained.

The scaly thing was still grumpy; the chances of him soldering a grudge were high, especially where you were involved. The two of you called him away from a tussle with some other dragons from around the bend, which he seemed to be enjoying by at least some measure.

If only he’d put some of that energy into being a more attentive Alpha. You wrinkled your nose, judging the dragon like a temperamental parent.

You listened to the shifting of leaves, fabric and leather before deciding you’d been waiting too long, much too used to doing things on your own time.

“I’m just going to change over here,” You called through the curtain, “Turn around, will you?” You asked Toothless, who grumbled at you disgruntledly, the ridges of his brows as furrowed as he could make them.

“Turn around, Toothless,” Hiccup confirmed from behind the curtain.

He shifted with a grumble, lumbering sideways and around, though not without whacking you in the calf with his tail, first.

You finished changing just as the first few dragons began to settle down.

You shuffled to the side once you were ready, letting Hiccup through to order and direct, gentle-parenting the dragons into doing what you needed.

You watched him. He was shirtless, legs bare, though his left ankle remained wrapped to his prosthetic. You wondered if it hurt, sometimes, though you hadn’t the courage to ask.

He was slim as always, muscled but not quite muscly, more soft than not. It went unsaid that he was not nearly as built or wide as any of the other Viking men, so you tried not to ogle.

You sat, legs crossed on the ground as Hiccup directed the Scauldrons and Gronkle in turn, slowly patching and filling up the pool.

“How long do you think it will take to cool down?” You asked as he sent them off and he came over to stand by you, settling himself onto the small stretch of grass you were laid in.

“Not sure,” He answered.

At one point Toothless turned towards the trees, shaking himself off before beginning to march through the underbrush.

“Hey, don’t go too far, bud,” Hiccup called after him.

The two of you sat there, just you, watching steam rise from the pool

“He’s been really independent lately,” Hiccup stiffened slightly, picking at the wooden end of his prosthetic, “Yeah…”

You moved back to give him space as he unraveled the leather wraps keeping his prosthetic secure to his leg, revealing a stump and a good amount of pinched scar tissue.

You spent a moment longer looking at it than you probably should’ve before looking away. You’d never seen it before

You wondered if Astrid had. You couldn’t imagine a world where she hadn’t.

Hiccup sunk into the water first.

Sweat beaded on your forehead as you hovered above it, hands lightly gripping the edge of the pool.

You dipped your toes in before all at once you sunk into the water, drifting down until your feet touched ground, sighing as you felt the heat rise up to your hips.

The ground was made up of small pebbles and smooth stone, and much nicer on the bottoms of your feet than you’d expected.

There was a ledge underneath, just the right height and length going around the inner edge of the pool on most sides to make a nice enough bench. You waded towards it, settling over the concave surface, ignoring the slight unevenness of it.

You relaxed, going boneless underwater, feeling your face redden as the heat from the water floated up into it, causing a line of sweat to run down your cheek.

With nothing else to you, your eyes drifted over towards Hiccup. He was much the same, though he was a little more out of it.

He really needed it, you supposed.

You blinked at him as he tilted his head back, exposing freckled skin, much more faded than when you were younger but visible just the same.

You eyed a multitude of cuts, long and light against his tan, following them down to a long vertical cut by the right side of his chest.

“What’s on your mind?” Hiccup’s voice brought you back to alertness, breaking the spell the spring seemed to put you under.

You tilted your head back and forth, debating whether or not you should answer.

He followed your eyesight instead, answering the silent question in your eyes.

“That… Axe. Training accident,” He answered, shrugging. You marveled at the casualness of it all.

“...And that one?”

“Dragon racing. Caught in the side by one of the spikes over Hofferson house,” You nodded. You hadn’t been in town for that one.

“And, I’m guessing, that’s why you guys use more of a track, now?”

Hiccup rubbed his neck sheepishly.

“Where’d you get yours?” He asked

Being able to talk and converse with him like this was great and all, but you were afraid that behind all the mindless platitudes and play-warmth he would finally, finally see you. See deeper than the scars like cracks on your surface, seep right into line lines and stare into your core to somehow find you wanting.

You hunched slightly inwards self consciously.

“Hey, it’s… it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,”

Hiccup drifted towards you, resting his hand on the side of your shoulder.

You kept your eyes trained downwards, staring at large groups of bubbles as they rose to the surface, coloring the water an opaque white.

Your exhale blew hotly back into your face, rising up with the steam.

You nodded.

Hiccup hummed under his breath, voice tinted with a hint of confusion.

You pressed your thumbs into his shoulder blades in the dark of your hut, moving with his muscles as he groaned and flexed them backwards.

You felt the outline of lightning scars under his shirt and followed them down lazily, rubbing a path around them, pushing deep into weary muscle through his thick tunic.

Hiccup leaned into it. Again, you moved to accommodate him.

You shifted over your hastily done bed, dull fabric shifting below you.

Afternoon light trickled in through the blinds.

You counted every scar visible above the line of his collar, each cut and scab that formed alabaster marks against peachy-tan skin.

You worked through knots, strains and strains and stresses, watching with a careful eye as Hiccup softened, letting them melt off and away.

You worked your way back up, and down, leaning maybe a bit closer than necessary, feeling your breath on your face as you exhaled into the nape of his neck, lifting your elbow higher in order to get a hard spot a few lengths away from his spine.

Hiccup let out a breathy sigh.

You flushed.

You sifted through the assortment of ripe berries in the cart, humming thoughtfully.

You weren’t quite sure what to buy. Honestly, you didn’t need to buy any at all. You had a large enough stock at home to guarantee you’d not need to buy or forage anything until the next year.

You would never say it out loud but you were actually out to take inventory. A whole lot of the other Vikings would be displeased to hear about it, you were sure. It was a good way for you to keep stock of what was in store and what you would need to search for on your own. It was how you made your coin.

It was quite easy, especially when you took advantage of your close proximity to Gothi. Though a tough and harried healer, she was still an elder and it was much more convenient to have the shops travel up towards her.

Some might have called it ‘taking advantage of the elderly,’ but you were loath to the idea. You didn't upcharge her by too much. Whenever you did up the price, it was much deserved payback for dumping her waste down your side of the mountain. Somehow it always landed on your roof.

You brought your finger to your chin and moved to accommodate a newcomer you sensed by the corner of your eye, careful not to look up at the stall keeper, who was squinting down at you suspiciously. You were afraid he might have been catching on.

You walked over to a wide array of scales, most likely scavenged from the dropped and shed skins of the dragons who enjoyed roaming around town.

You enjoyed the fresh air, the wind as it flowed over your scalp. You felt light and pleased, one hand held to your back as you pursued the displayed wares.

There was a nice arranged pyramid of orangish-reddish scales and a set of electric yellow and purple sat above a wrinkled, dull green cloth, and a line of iridescent scales by your right hand.

“You see something you like?” You startled as you heard a voice murmur by your ear. It seemed to be that you were so engrossed in pretending to be invested that you hadn’t noticed as your fellow shoppe leaned into your space.

You walked to the side, turning so that you were leaning away from her.

It was a woman, brown hair nearing red, the brightest auburn you’d ever seen in the light, dressed in a thin layer of furs with both hands on her hips. You recognized this woman.

“These came from me,” She exclaimed calmly, voice running off her tongue like thick, gooey honey.

The stall keeper rolled his eyes, “You’ll get your cut, don’t worry.”

The question must have been obvious in your eyes because Valka smiled, “Oh, yes, I collected those myself, you see.”

You smiled uncomfortably as Valka laughed to herself, finally backing up a tad.

You straightened your back and your shoulders, exhaling deeply.

Though she was unbalanced from her time away from general society, she was confident and it served her well.

Her swell mood was contagious. You quirked your lips with the urge to join in, though to your chagrin, your own laughter came out more as a breathy uncomfortable chuckle than anything. You were also very much out of practice.

She didn’t seem to notice, though you knew that was most likely a calculated effort. You were glad for it.

“Hello,” You managed an honest smile, “Trying to push sales?”

“I’ve a bit of a vested interest in this shop, I should say,” She said, examining you as if you were a sort of creature from a land she’d never seen before, “Who are you?”

Valka paused, blinking to herself. Before you could respond again, she asked, “What’s your name? What’s your story?”

She didn’t know, you realized with a pang. There was no reason for her to, of course, Hiccup being your only link to each other and the two of you hadn’t been nearly as close as you had been before, as of late, but it still hurt a little. Definitely put a damper on your mood.

You kept up your smile anyways, mimicking her pose.

“I’ve not much of a story to tell, I’m sad to say,” You inclined your head.

“Everyone’s got a story,” Valka insisted, “Even-Oh, it should be-...”

You hummed your question.

“It’s probably wandered off somewhere, the frightful thing… There-! This one’s been pretty helpful,” Valka pointed out behind you, “A bashful thing, helped me bring down some of the wares. He showed up a few months before, well…”

Her eyes unfocused and her stance fell just the smallest bit. You winced with sympathy, remembering how Drago had smothered the island in ice before nearly killing off all of its inhabitants. She was very open about it, especially in the hall, and word spread faster than fire on Berk. It must have been difficult to lose her husband and her Alpha Dragon all in one day.

You shifted, turning following her direction after a moment of solidarity, and froze.

With its head bowed down, looking guiltily away from across the clearing was a dragon. Your dragon.

She leaned forwards against you conspiratorially, though this time you didn’t react, even as she whispered loudly in your ear with false secrecy, “It doesn’t hurt to have a bit of extra change on hand, you see. That’s why I’m here.”

“I do see,” You nodded along, though something about your voice was off as you spoke, still staring at your old dragon. Your voice was much too sharp and flat and cracked in all the wrong places.

You blinked away a light burning in your eye, refusing to meet your dragon by the eyes.

Your heart twinged, ruffled and upset as you were all at once confronted with the reality that you really had been abandoned, though it wasn't as bitter a fruit knowing that it had been, in part, your fault.

“So, you said these scales are on sale?” You cleared your throat, turning back towards the stall with the full intent to ignore the thing as you would a stranger, which it might have very well been.

“Which would you recommend?” Your eyes refused to focus as you blocked it out of your mind, refusing to acknowledge the faces or manners of any of the people around you.

It was because of that that you just nearly missed him, approaching down the path to your left, once again clad in dark gray and brown leather.

“Oh, hello, Hiccup!” You called.

“You’re trembling,” Hiccup noted with surprise in his voice as you approached.

“It’s been a while since I rode a dragon,” You admitted balefully, as the two of you strode towards Toothless’ saddle.

Even before, when you had just gotten yours, you’d had a hard time learning to love being up in the sky. But you pushed through it, because it was what Hiccup loved, and because it was getting to a point where you needed a dragon in order to keep up with everyone else.

You never did talk to anyone about how much it terrified you.

“Will you be alright?”

You nodded hesitantly, though privately you weren’t so sure, your heart beating like a drum.

Hiccup sighed, “We’re just headed to the sea stacks, right?”

“Yeah,” You took a few hesitant, shaking breaths before swinging yourself up on the saddle behind Hiccup, who looked back at you, securing his helmet as if he thought it might be better that he leave you behind, as if you might shatter at the slightest breeze.

“Thanks for taking me,” You looked away, ears burning shamefully. The things you could forage for on Berk weren’t cutting it. You needed the extra coin.

You jolted suddenly as you took off, alarm racing up and down your spine as you pressed yourself flush to Hiccup. You kept your eyes as straight ahead as possible, knowing that looking down, at the disappearing dow of Berk in the distance, would be your downfall.

You noticed Hiccup kept close to the ocean floor, guiding Toothless only just high enough to cleanly avoid the ocean waves below.

Past the wind rushing through your hair, the pressure plugging your eardrums and the sound of Toothless’ wings beating through the air, you realized that this wasn’t so bad.

Eventually your breathing evened and you were able to loosen up to some degree.

You leaned your head against his neck, arms relaxing slightly around your torso though your front stayed no less melded to his back.

You noticed the two of you had wandered all the way down, strolling the boundary between grazing fields, dotted by sheep, and the closer line of houses to your right.

You were still a slight bit shaken, though you’d made it back with all of your things intact plus extra, which was alright enough.

Hiccup looked back and forth, at where your hut ended just beyond the Great Hall, probably wondering if he should have been the one to walk you back instead.

“I don’t eat down at the hall much,” You looked back, keeping the silent ‘or ever’ to yourself.

“Well, I can understand why,” Hiccup looked to the side, voice sardonic, as the two of you, from a distance, watched Tuffnut and Snotlout wrestling for a plated chicken leg. You weren’t sure how they got so far out from the Great Hall so quickly. As far as you were aware, they didn’t serve food this early.

“Would you?” He asked.

Snotlout was able to pin Tuffnut to the ground, about to take a bit from the leg in his meaty grasp before Tuffnut basked him over the back of his head with the empty plate.

The other Riders were sat around him at the high table.

Hiccup seemed uncomfortable sitting up on the elevated platform reserved for the Chief and company by the forefront of the Great Hall. Out of place. Not quite like he was in shoes he hadn’t grown into yet, as was the saying, but more as if he was standing in front of a pair of shoes that did not belong to him at all.

You asked yourself if he might be more comfortable down with the common folk.

You sent him a small wave just as the two of you met eyes, Hiccup at once sending a complimentary quirk of the lips back.

You came.

It took you a few days to get there, but eventually you worked up the courage to make it down and to sidle around the heavily concentrated group of Vikings in the open floor of the hall.

Just as I promised.

You gave him a half-smile, lifting a spoon of stew to your mouth. It had been a while since you had tasted something from the hall. You had to admit it was a taste that you couldn’t replicate, not that you tried. You weren’t sure whether or not it was something you liked.

A crowd of Vikings obscured your vision as they walked past, large mugs and plates in hand.

You stared down at your bowl of stew and the thin slice of bread on the place beside it, wondering if all of this was worth it.

You were surprised when Hiccup settled down in front of you, startling you out of your own musings, plate of his own in hand.

You peered round him, back at the table to see the rest of the Riders and Gobber back up on the podium. They seemed just as equally confused.

“What brings you down here?” You got the vague idea that it was expected, though not a requirement of the Chief, for Hiccup to sit up by the front table. Something about establishing authority and basking in the attention or something before it wore off, you didn’t care.

It didn’t seem like something Hiccup was interested in, anyways.

“What, no ‘hello?’”

“Nope,” You popped the ‘p’ as Hiccup pulled out his journal from under his arm, settling it on the table to his side. You stared at brown leather and at all the small bits of parchment sticking out the sides.

“Let me see,” You said,

“You sure?” Hiccup asked with a crooked smile.

You nodded, beckoning him over to your side of the table, craning your neck as he laid the book out in front of you and settled down besides.

“What’s that?” You pointed downwards, as he began flipping through the pages.

“What, this?”

You hummed, “No, go back.”

Hiccup blinked, and you saw the minor realization wash over his face before he flipped back the page almost reluctantly, revealing a messily sketched out crack in the earth and a crude map of the archipelago with a bunch of x-es littering random regions over the sea.

“Do you mind if I…?”

He shook his head no, handing over his notebook as you pushed aside your stew.

You read over some of the notes to the side, furrowing your brow.

“The Caldera,” You said, remembering the old wives tale.

“Yeah,” Hiccup rubbed his neck, “I didn’t mean for you to see it, but what do you think?”

“There’s something about it, I don’t know,” You said, shrugging, “It would be really nice.”

Hiccup scrubbed his neck embarrassedly, “It’s just a fantasy I have sometimes.”

“Is that why you spent so much time wandering?” You nodded your head, taking a sip from the large mug in front of you with hunched shoulders, “It would make a great discovery.”

Hiccup nodded.

You got it. It was unbelievably unrealistic, but that was probably the point. It was something for him to chase after even after everything else became unfamiliar. There was something charming about its unattainability, in a way.

Mead. Maybe it was a comfort you yourself craved.

You barely paid attention as you filled your mug and his, watching as, across the hall and through warm and bustling bodies, Hiccup and Astrid spoke.

It was with all of the passion of a newly split couple. Though you couldn’t hear everything, you could see the meaningful tilt of Hiccup’s brown, the way his shoulders only moved when he spoke about something worthwhile, and the emotive movement of his hands.

They were leaning close together by a gaggle of the others, speaking in whispers. It was probably nothing of consequence to you. She was, still, his right hand woman.

But he looked at her like she hung the stars and wove this very Earth, hanging on to her every word, no matter the severity or banality.

You downed a mug, mead dripping down the corner of your chin. You wiped it off with your chin, lamenting and then going after another. It would take quite a great deal for you to get drunk.

You watched as Astrid walked away, back turned to Hiccup, her side exposed to you, and took note of the way, mouth open as if to speak, he reached out slightly, like he might be able to pull her back by some invisible string.

Your heart beat against itself, rhythm as loud and violent to your ears as the crashing waves outside down by the coast. You ignored it, tucking it away like a book under your pillow in the dark of night.

You furrowed your brows, picking up another mug and filling it to the brim. It was only considerate, if you were going to drink.

Your arms were full of mugs by the time you thought to wander back, balanced unevenly in your arms. He might need it just as bad as you did.

You’d stumbled back to Hiccup’s hut in the dark, chuckling and laughing like a pair who didn’t want to do much besides forget the world around you.

There was something tense in the air between the two of you despite the physical closeness. You weren’t quite sure when or how the two of you had fallen into each other, or why you thought this was a good idea.

You gasped through the press of lips and the taste of ale on tongue, backed up against a wooden wall, head pressed back against the hard, uneven surface.

You pulled apart, and Hiccup leaned forwards to rest his forehead against the wall by your head, panting in your ear.

You weren’t sure who you’d slept with and who you hadn’t. Many drunk nights at the Hall, sneaking large mugs of ale and mead into your small, lonely corner meant many mornings slung over beds in houses you weren’t familiar with. Being so disconnected meant it was easy for you to slip out and away without anyone noticing.

But you knew you were here, and you were here now.

You slipped your knee between his legs. He ground down on it.

Your undergarments were up to scratch this time, though you weren’t sure if you needed them.

You felt the rise and quell of feeling and emotion and dead conversation. You searched for something to say, something to soothe, to matter or to not in a way that mattered the way someone did when they knew they weren't great, but wanted to be.

He looked exhausted. Tired from hours on his feet, time he wasn’t allowed to spend alone and a while too long throwing ideas on building, automatic tailfins and infrastructure between the two of you.

Guilt curled around like a tiny worm in your stomach. It was the same feeling you got falling from a high place, the same kind you avoided every time you saw a dragon take off into the air.

You pondered if you should ask, wondering if it was fair to want him to take the first step or back away, hands drifting back and forth underwater.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” He said, and you weren’t sure why.

You tilted your head, sitting across from Hiccup in the same spring from before. His calf was pressed between your ankles, brushing over scar tissue as Hiccup sandwiched your left ankle between that and his other leg.

“Me too.” You were sorry, for taking up his time and his space, when all he wanted was something else. You thought he might rather be alone. If that was the case, you knew you would go.

Calves and ankles pressed together, shifting against each other under the water testingly.

Your face was red, heated by steam. Hiccup looked the same.

You scooted closer. Hiccup shifted forwards on his arms, leaning nearer to you.

You weren’t sure where you stood, since the night you spent together. You didn’t know if it meant anything or not, if it was a tryst born from your interest or Hiccup’s want to forget Astrid. You couldn’t remember.

But.

“Is it…?” He asked, eyes half-lidded.

You drifted forwards, standing up in the spring and met him the rest of the way, thighs slotted together.

Your arms were braced on either side of him underwater, palms resting on the smooth ledge surface.

Hiccup rested his hand on your arm, the other by your waist.

There were too many things between the two of you that went left unsaid. You hoped that one day you’d be able to say them.

“A-ash…” He breathed into your mouth.

You half-slid, half-climbed down the rocky cliffside, grinning to yourself as Hiccup jogged after, falling slightly behind your enthusiasm.

To be honest, you weren’t so sure about sharing this secret with Hiccup. It felt weighty, like you were putting it to bed somehow and you weren’t sure you liked that, not ready to give up your reprieve.

It was private to you, but also, maybe it would be worth it, to share something so nice with someone else. There was a low chance he hadn’t seen it yet anyways. Soon, the others would find out and all the other Vikings would start funneling in, you were sure.

You slid to a stop just barely in time, backtracking with your arms out, stumbling back-first into Hiccup.

The two of you fell backwards, Hiccup falling into a set of bushes stationed behind you.

“Oh, ow,”

“Are you alright?” You asked him, as you separated, quickly scooting over and peering down at him as he pulled himself from the fanning ferns.

The two of you were surrounded by rocks and fauna, world dark and blue in a way that felt fresh and new and freeing.

This ledge was one that was difficult to get to unless you knew the way, which you won through hard-earned practice and exploration.

The grass under you was cold, and wet from dew, But that was one of the many things you ceased to notice once you peered over the edge, at the beginning of a beautiful flickering.

“I’m alright,” Hiccup smiled, rubbing his head. You tried to look around him as if you might be able to see the back of it from the angle you were sitting.

“Look,” You pointed forwards with a breathy grin, as Hiccup settled himself beside you, your legs hanging limply over the side of the clifface.

He followed your direction, and he breathed. You could see the exact moment he looked down into the waters, calmer than they should be, always seeming flat and unassuming in this area.

You watched him focus, taken in by the mesmerizing sight.

Tiny dragons lit up the sea below, blinking pale pinks and greens and blues under the shifting water, looking very much like small, twinkling gems by the sand.

It was what you assumed was a mix between the glowing algae left over from the Flightmare’s time in the archipelago and the new, different kinds of dragons flooding Berk.

The two of you relaxed into the scene, calming in a way you were hard pressed to calm anywhere else. Maybe you had made the right call.

It was a while before either of you would break the silence

“I…” Hiccup started, he looked at you with open eyes, “I…”

You perked up slightly, turning your head by the most minute degree, watching him from the corner of your eye. You waited, giving him time to articulate himself.

“...I miss…”

His eyes twinkled, lights dancing in the shine of them, moving back and forth with the lights below. You softened in them, twisting so you were looking at him directly.

You wondered what he missed. You wondered if it was something to quell or nurture the beating blooming jittering feeling growing in your chest.

“Them,” Hiccup said finally, lamely, before stopping, leaning against your shoulder.

At the last moment, he looked away, pulling his hands off the ground and you read something a little like shame on his face as he said it, or on as much face as you could see, carefully tilted away from you.

You were sure you knew who, or whom he meant.

You remembered how he looked at Astrid the other night as she walked away. How something in his eyes just seemed to storm.

You remember how glum he was, still was, after the passing of his father, tall and mighty in a way that seemed to make him immortal.

You were glad. Just glad, and disappointed, in equal measure. But also you also couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that he hadn’t said something else.

You leaned back with equal weight onto his shoulder, though instead of feeling any sort of the warmth or amity you should have felt- or peace, like you usually did, staring down at the swirling lights, dancing with the currents- you just felt empty.

You took in the rustling of leaves behind you, the chittering and splashing of small dragons as they leapt out of the water, filling the air below with a colorful, glowing spray. Anything but the man besides you. The Chief, now.

“I know.”

#not an exact fill but close enough #no clinginess sorry could not work it in #how to train your dragon #httyd #x reader #fanfiction #toothless #httyd imagine #hiccup haddock #hiccup x reader #gender neutral reader

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