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#sorry for being obsessed with this book it's my new personality trait
acewitch-writes · 4 months
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Hello! I recently found your account, and I went on scrolling down and down...and now I hope you know how grateful I am. Thank u- Merci. About 90% of the content you share here has made me feel so much better. I realllyy hope wonderful things happen for you. I've been a fan of hp since 2001, but I'm not really a social media person so I haven't been active in the fandom. I had no idea what was happening here until recently..two months ago to be exact (other details are not important) and omg.. I ended up in a discussion with some I think, new fans. tbh I thought, "Great! I'm good at this, I read all the books more than once Let's talk :)"  and omg their very first question was "What do you think about Regulus?"
I was like, "Who?" *dying from secondhand embarrassment bc It turns out I'm not that good at this
but as the discussion continued, I became more and more baffled bc "Why was everyone talking about Barty, Evan, and Regulus? who is daddy Remu? and what do you mean people ship James Potter with R.A.B.? What?"
I swear for a moment I thought "Did the writer publish a new book? Did I miss something? " tbh, I respect everyone's opinion it's none of my business but I'm still shocked. The only thing that bothers me is everything that happened with this new Wolfsar
omg, for most fans around my age (or at least people I know), Sirius was the complete portrayal of a bad boy- a rebel, with boots, tattoos, a leather jacket, and a fucking motorcycle. so this new Sirius is like a stranger to me, and that's okay. Mein issue is kinda with this new Remus T T my beloved .
They (the fans I was talking with) told me Remus is "tall, so handsome, SO strong, and hot-headed person because,  yk he's a werewolf." I was like "hot headed? excuse me?" I tried to explain to them that Remus being a werewolf is a metaphor for illnesses like HIV, it's not some superpowery gift.  they didn't believe me, but then they literally looked me in the face and said, "Then why would Sirius like someone like him? He's poor, short, and ugly." I swear I wanted to cry right then and there.
What is this mindset that makes some people think that a person should be, Idk, hot and flawless to deserve to be loved? Yes I don't think Remus is tall and super hot and perfect and isn't it fine? and I am 100% sure he's so beautiful. not like Sirius ofc but he has this "warm, cozy, and soft" sort of beauty. and I don't think he was a coward (ok maybe he was a liitle) but I guess it's easier for us, humans, to take the worst or weakest moment of a character and amplify it until it defines them entirely. and omg I'm so sorry for my rant and my bad english. but once again thank you for your beautiful soul <3 thank you
Hi anon! I, too, am baffled by the recent obsession with Regulus in this fandom. I think Jegulus is fine as a crack ship, but it has become so mainstream that many fans have just gone ahead and canonized it to the point that you'll be vilified for not accepting it as canon. I underestimated how popular the "best friend's brother" trope was, apparently. I also think it appeals to many fans as a Marauders Era version of one of the most popular ships of all time, Drarry.
This new version of Wolfstar is my biggest complaint with today's fandom, too! I get that the Marauders have very limited canon information and therefore we have more creative freedom to flesh them out, but I really believe that it has gone way too far. Sirius and Remus in today's fandom don't bear any resemblance to the characters they're based on. Remus is just a generic alpha werewolf OC and Sirius is his generic himbo femboy love interest OC. They don't even share a physical description with their Canon counterparts, and their personalities and character traits are so far removed that I can't even fathom how we reached this point as a fandom. How can you claim to like these characters if you have to change everything the source material says about them?
You're English is great, by the way! I completely agree that Remus has a cozy-and-warm sort of beauty. He made a point to distance himself from the stigma surrounding Lycanthropy because it was the focal point of his shame and self-loathing. And I just adore Wolfstar's dynamic from this lens, with the intimidatingly beautiful, confident, headstrong Sirius Black, who could have his pick of anyone he wants, choosing this ordinary guy because he's cozy and soft and it's exactly what Sirius wants after surviving the harsh ideals and abuse of House Black.
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rknchan · 1 year
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shoutout to andrei semyonovich lebezyatnikov being one of the most underappreciated ruslit characters like... almost no one ever talks about him, neither critics or literature teachers (in our school tho we did discuss lebezyatnikov as "another counterpart of raskolnikov along with luzhin and svidrigailov" but as far as i know he's seldom mentioned and even considered as raskolnikov's counterpart). but he does play a part in the plot??? and is a reflection of social movements and ideas of his time???? to begin with, there was a common trope in russian literature: a character who tries to be "progressive and woke" but is actually not, who is shown as foolish, fake and inconsistent in their beliefs, who criticizes the "rotten society" but actually is a part of it; is often a parody of the protagonist - who is indeed progressive and smart and revolutionary and misunderstood and so on (bonus points if they admire the protagonist and try to copy him) we can see this trope in griboyedov's play "woe from wit" (repetilov - a parody on chatsky), turgenev's novel "fathers and sons" (sitnikov and kukshina - wannabe nihilists as opposed to bazarov though kukshina is a literal queen she slays), and dostoyevsky's later works - "the idiot" (hippolite terentyev's gang) and "demons" (verkhovensky's circle); maybe grushnitsky from "a hero of our time" can be counted too, he fits all the traits but he's obsessed with byronism not politics and is treated more seriously
when we first see lebezyatnikov in p5c1, it's exactly how he is presented like: silly and pathetic, with unattractive features, described with usage of very strong and borderline offensive language (how do you like "half-animate abortion"?), dramatic and self-righteous to the point he looks ridiculous... his surname comes from russian word "лебезить" [lebezit] - "to fawn on somebody" sometimes he has a point but some his takes are harmful (beating a woman with tuberculosis because "he seeks equality in fighting !!!" defending prostitution and saying it is empowerment and protest !!! while not knowing how sonya is suffering); even though he has sincere good intentions his ideology, like that of many 1860s-70s russian nihilists, is based on the ideas of nikolai chernyshevsky and his novel "what is to be done" (and other utopian socialists) but inverted and satirized the part where he defends freedom in marriage and "deceptions" ("Your wife will only prove how she respects you by considering you incapable of opposing her happiness and avenging yourself on her for her new husband...if I were to marry, ...I should present my wife with a lover if she had not found one for herself.") is a reference to "what is to be done" and chernyshevsky's own personal life - in witbd the main heroine tells her husband that she is in love with another man, and her husband pretends to commit suicide so that she would be formally a widow and able to marry her lover the "it’s an insult to a woman for a man to kiss her hand" line is also a direct reference to witbd (sorry for the spoilers btw witbd is quite an underaprecciated book if i ever reread it i ought to make a post about it) - chernyshevsky himself had a complicated relationship with his wife; he worshipped her, always put her interests above himself and let her make all the decisions in their family life, while she saw him only as a friend and a chance to escape from her abusive family; chernyshevsky said that if she liked someone else he'd forgive her and suffer in silence but would always forgive her if she came back SORRY what is to be DONE WITH CHERNYSHEVSKY LET'S GET BACK TO THE POINT. YEAH LEBEZYATNIKOV his description is summed up in this line: "one of the numerous and varied legion of dullards who attach themselves to the idea most in fashion only to vulgarise it and who caricature every cause they serve, however sincerely" but there's one important thing. he takes a step ahead. he protects sonya marmeladova!! and accuses luzhin of slandering her, explaining what actually happened and giving proof of luzhin's vileness!! (and later on he also helps sonya and rodion find katerina ivanovna mad and near death from her illness...) even katerina ivanovna says he was sent by god - for saving sonya's honour. the one who desires to fight for equality but doesn't know how and only makes a fool of himself in other characters' and author's eyes - he actually protects the weak, silent and oppressed. no parody sidekick has ever had such a character development, no trying-to-be-progressive character before had a chance to step out of their stereotype and do something good for another person or for the society this scene makes me so happy, not only because i love seeing someone protecting my beloved sonya but it also has a deeply personal meaning to me
i was also concerned about equality, freedom and perfecting the society and all such things, and ofc had confrontations with others regarding my opinions like all of us probably do, but in the end i always looked stupid, uneducated and worthless as i could never shut up, cried when i lost an argument and did nothing but whine about how things are unfair but never knew what to do to change it and so i thought: i don't deserve to call myself a profeminist and a liberal, i am not good enough i wanted to relate to strong-willed, enlightened, revolutionary characters like chatsky and rakhmetov, but i knew that i was a repetilov, a sitnikov, a lebezyatnikov - an useless caricature who is a shame to their ideology
and when i first read the scene where lebezyatnikov protects sonya, it made me genuinely happy to see how somebody who was viewed as an "useless and fake progressist" could also be a help to somebody and become a better person... it made me feel like i'm not worthless too, like im capable of such a character development and maybe even change someone's life for the better too.... ;;;;;
sorry it ended up too long and too personal and whiny in the end ... :c anyway i hope you did enjoy reading this or find something interesting
have a nice day!! <3
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yanderes-galore · 1 year
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My I please request MLP lightning dust x unicorn reader ❤️
Kinda hard with a unicorn but I will try ^^ You're both ponies for obvious reasons.
Yandere! Lightning Dust with Unicorn! Darling
Concept
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Manipulation, Implied stalking, Peer pressure, Forced companionship, Obsession, Implied kidnapping (?), Unhealthy fixation.
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- Lightning Dust in general is very similar to Rainbow Dash.
- That was the whole point of her episode in Season 3.
- She was meant to accent Rainbow's loyalty trait.
- She's a good flier, pushes herself, but is also rather reckless.
- This lead to her being kicked out of the Wonderbolt's Academy at the end of that episode.
- I'm not on Season 8 yet so I apologize if how I write her is wrong, I had to do some research.
- Sometime during/before Season 8, she made a stunt group called The Washouts.
- They're said to be a touring group of stunt ponies, maybe you're able to catch one of their shows.
- Before meeting with Rainbow again in Season 8, Lightning Dust may meet you.
- You're a unicorn who decided to take time off from their studies.
- The pegasus had met you before the show started.
- You were reading a book, sitting in your spot and waiting for the show to start.
- "You going to read that book the whole show?"
- The sudden voice startles you, making you drop your book to turn to look at the pony in front of you.
- There's Lightning Dust, dressed in her stunt suit with playful golden eyes watching you.
- "Sorry, I was waiting for you to start.... I study magic and this is supposed to be my day off. You must be the leader?"
- You laugh awkwardly, LD grins at you.
- "Good eye. This your day off?"
- You nod in confirmation.
- LD then pushes your book aside, coming closer.
- "Then let me make it your best."
- She then walks off, leaving you flustered and confused.
- That's your first encounter with the stunt devil.
- You think it'll be your only encounter yet you end up seeing her after the show, too.
- Her show was very impressive, you grew to enjoy it.
- Meanwhile LD was doing her best to show off, taking an interest in you.
- Before you're able to leave, the pegasus cuts you off.
- "How was it?"
- "Oh! It was great! I can tell you really practice and you looked amazing out there!"
- You're too busy gushing about your experience to notice LD's face tinting pink.
- She's made a new fan today....
- You end up saying goodbye to her before leaving, preparing for your next study session.
- This starts LD's obssession.
- The pegasus feeds off your praise and craves more.
- It's slightly unnerving to you when you see LD around your school more often.
- It's odd to you as this is a school for unicorns.
- A stunt pony shouldn't be here-
- Until it clicks that she's here to see you.
- You meet up with her a couple times, but other times you ignore her.
- You have studies to attend to, you can't go hang around a stunt pony all day.
- LD doesn't seem to care, however.
- Expect frequent hoof taps on your window along with visits that go a little too long.
- She always wants you to watch her fly-
- She practices to impress you, she hates it that her stunt group tours as that means she has to leave you.
- LD may see you as a friend who she vows to impress.
- That or she's pursuing your attention for more personal reasons.
- Either way, LD is attached to you mostly due to the attention you give.
- She hates that you care more about your studies than her.
- You should come to every show she has!
- You're meant to be her fan.
- LD does not care if she has to get her hooves dirty.
- She feels she'll pry you from your studies if she has to.
- Why don't you join her on her tours anyways?
- Your magic can prove useful for setting stunts up or creating new ones!
- Plus, you'll be stuck beside her.
- Then you'll have to give all your attention to her.
- "Come on, skip your studies! You got more important things to do."
- "... Like what-"
- "Spending time with me."
- LD is going to take precautions on how to keep you with her.
- You're the one good with magic, so she'll either have to manipulate you or somehow reduce/stunt your magic.
- She'll probably find away to get her hands on some sort of solution.
- Not like she's leaving without you, she likes you too much for that.
- At some point you're going to be bullied into or dragged to places with her.
- She wants you to join her group.
- Why would you refuse someone like her?
- "No need to be so shy! You'll do great. This is so much better compared to your magic school."
- "What makes you say that?"
- "Because your eyes will only be on me."
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samatheia229 · 1 year
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PERSONAL RANT #1
⚠️Just in case, adding a Trigger Warning.
(Don't know what and if there are any triggers in the following rant but it's about probably-less-than-optimal mental health so better safe than sorry. If at any time you feel a bit triggered, please scroll past/exit as quickly as possible.)
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I absolutely abhor psychometric and personality tests.
Twice a year, my school's counseling unit has us take these psychometric tests that evaluate our current emotional and mental state through answering questions on a form. It's a scale from 'Never' to 'Every Day' with a time frame of the two last two months. They ask questions like 'Have you been unmotivated to do anything?' and 'Do you want to drop out of school?'
It serves to help identify students who may require counseling, such as those suffering with anxiety, depression, etc. And that's a good thing, of course, for those who really do need the help and feel that they can't speak up about it.
Then, there are those government-sanctioned personality/career tests. It's less of a personality test and more of evaluating 'traits' like extraversion, logical reasoning, creativity (which is bull, by the way, because the questions for this lean towards creativity in solving problems, ie. your innovative ability [damn you, STEM-oriented government, a 10% in Creativity when I'm literally a fantasy writer]), musical inclination etc. to help in career counseling. Again, great for those who need it.
And then there's me.
I admit that I've got problems. I'm not in my optimal state (is anyone ever?) but it's not bad? Yes, I catastrophise and over-think like crazy; yes, I have daddy issues; yes, my hygiene-freak tendencies increased tenfold after COVID; yes, I have trouble identifying and remembering if I've truly experienced certain emotions and I feel lowkey empty most of the time but I still mostly function just fine? I'm still TOP 5 in class, I'm still obsessing over SEVENTEEN and a bunch of books/shows, my social life is bleak as ever, just the way I like it, and my physical health continues to play hot-and-cold with me, made worse by the weather but what else is new?
Most days I function fine with my plethora of issues, and it doesn't really seem to have a super major effect on my life, thus far anyway. And see, at this point some may seek therapy to 'get better' but I'm actually alright with how I am now, problems and all, I just get the occasional existential crisis because of these damn tests. I'm not miserable but not happy. I don't want to 'get better', so to speak. I'm just eh with the shoulder shrug and I'm okay with it. Is that a bad thing?
Now, what I really don't appreciate is my problems being shoved in my face all at once and triggering an existential crisis of whether or not I'm a helpful person.
This is a good segue to my next point. The questions these tests ask. 'I would give a good opportunity to someone else.' 'I help others.' 'I can solve problems.' 'I can invent new and innovative solutions to problems.'
Reminder, the answers are Always, Some Days, More Than Half The Days, and Never. I'm a very situational person so my actions heavily on the situation. Like, I'm not a saint; I wouldn't go out of my way to help you but I wouldn't say no if you asked me. I know it's supposed to be general, but again, it depends with me. Cue the existential crisis because I don't know what to choose. I usually go for Some Days because that's the closest neutral option.
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There wasn't really a point to this post besides my hatred for having to sit through psychometric/personality/career evaluations. I just needed to get this out. If you stuck around until the end, thank you for taking the time.
(Yes, I'm aware I probably need a therapy but like I said, I'm still relatively okay and therapy's expensive. As dearest Mama always tells me when I'm being catastrophic, "Sam, the sky is not falling." Here's to hoping it won't both figuratively and literally because both sound really annoying and time-consuming to fix.
On that note, if anyone has any tips on how NOT to have an existential crisis when taking such mandatory, standardised tests besides getting therapy, please share, that would be great.)
Also, does anyone know how to switch my grammar-correct setting to British/UK English? It keeps red-underlining and suggesting the z version.
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diavolosthots · 3 years
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Felt like crying, so I came to you, my friend! Mc and Mammon went out shopping, specifically to buy gifts for his brothers, as an apology. When they get back home they are met with hostility. They berate Mammon until Mc screams at them to shut up, then rips into each of them for their treatment of Mammon. Then finishes with "Don't expect Mammon to stay here when he can live with me in the humanworld. I'm done with you. Mammon, lets go, you deserve better, love" and leaves w/ Mammon. Thank you!
You came to me because you felt like crying and that gives me two (2) things to think about. 1.) I'm apparently someone who people see as a tissue? 2.) My angst is just THAT good. Also! Apparently today is rain on Mammon day and I'm here for it not me avoiding my exam to write these things
Warning: uh.... Angst?
Soul-Searching (MAMMON X GN!READER ft. THE BROTHERS)
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“You know, I’m proud of you for suggesting this.” Truly, you were. Mammon was your favorite and you felt for him, but you also completely understood where his brothers came from. At first, it honestly annoyed you as well; the constant stealing, the lying… You tried blaming it on his avatar, but even then it doesn’t explain the lying that comes with it. However, you do realize that it’s a habit and it’s a habit that is hard to fix, so instead of constantly getting onto him like the rest, you tried to understand him a bit more and give him some life advice. So far, you have managed to get Mammon to give back all the things he has recently taken from his brothers, and some of them even got an apology. You’ll be working on how to properly apologize, though, because oof, that was a mess. 
And now? Now you managed to take a small trip with him downtown to at least attempt to make things better. Mammon is now, or at least today, using his own money to buy some things that his brothers would be fond of: a new vinyl player for Lucifer (non-cursed), a new Ruri-chan t-shirt for Leviathan, a neck pillow for Satan because lord knows he has some cramps back there with the way he leans over and down to read his books. Then some perfume for Asmodeus that he had been swooning about, a gift card to Beel’s favorite restaurant for the glutton, and a heated blanket for Belphie. You were proud, truly, that Mammon wanted to do this. As a matter of fact, he was the one who suggested it. “Maybe… uh.. I could… ya know… buy somethin’ they like” is what he said. You were just excited and agreed to help. 
Now you were going back to the house with a few shopping bags and ice cream almost fully eaten. You paid for the ice cream, as a way to reward Mammon, and you’re sure he’s secretly thanking you for that because some of these items truly did burn a hole into his credit card, which is partially his fault. “Lucifer deserves more than some random vinyl player.” his words, not yours. Also “satan needs one of them neck pillows that massage it, too!” again, his words. So yeah, some money was definitely spent on these items, but… once again, you were proud. “I think they’ll love everything, Mam. They’d be fools if they didn’t.” Hearing you say that made Mammon feel a lot better, honestly, and a small rush of confidence came to the surface “Ya betcha they will! Nothin’ but the best from the Great Mammon!” You just laughed. 
However, upon arrival, it was a different sight. As a matter of fact, you barely made it through the door before Beel was grumbling something about Mammon eating his custard, which is true, but it’s just a custard? “MAAMMMOONNN!!” and then there was Lucifer who appeared so fast you wondered if he was even real. He went on a whole rant about how irresponsible Mammon is and how another bill came in the mail that talks about Mammon’s debt. Satan and Belphegor teamed up to show empty hands, which left both you and Mammon confused, but then “do you see anything here? No? That’s because you sold our belongings, Mammon!” Mammon can be lucky that Leviathan was still holed up in his room because he just remembered that he also, at some point in the past, sold one of Levi’s figures. Asmodeus came last and honestly he wasn’t mad, he was just annoyed. “I saw you go through my things, Mammon. Nothing was taken, but it was still so incredibly rude!” 
Next followed a screaming match which was basically just Mammon trying to defend himself, trying to show the bags and apologize, but none of them would have it. It irritated you. Yes, they had every right to be mad because personal belongings should stay with their owner(s), but at the same time, they didn’t even give Mammon a chance to explain, especially after he’s been holding the bags up and attempting to apologize. “You’re so stupid, Mammon” “StupidMammon” “so irresponsible. You know better than that. Do you need another time out session, Mammon?” “I can’t believe you’d go through my stuff again!” by now your eyes were twitching and the voices echoing off the walls surely didn’t help your case. One more word and you’d snap, surely, especially since Mammon’s hand is now shaking and you grabbing it did nothing at all. “We would be better off without you.”
Ah yes, there it is. The final straw. The amount of anger boiling inside you right now isn’t even manageable anymore and you’re surprised that Satan, as the Avatar of Wrath, has yet to notice it. “Shut up! Shut up, Shut up, Shut up! All of you!” You yanked Mammon behind you, almost protectively and Belphegor found the need to laugh at it. “Really? You’re going to protect him?” Oh, there. That’s your first victim. “Are you really that dense, Belphegor, or is sleep still clouding your brain cells? That is your brother you’re currently making fun of and I don’t know about you, but I was taught that family sticks together, blood related or by choice. So how about you get your head out of dreamland, take this stupid heated blanket that he bought for you, as an apology, and wake up for a second.” yes, you did throw the bag at him and then you pointed your finger at Beel. You’d regret later on that you’re tearing into him as well because Beel means well at the end of the day, but still, he was also part of this. 
“You’re my least worry, Beel. Honestly you’re too caught up in your burgers and brawns to care for a second that your brother tries very hard to be liked by all of you. Sad, really.” you threw the card at him too. As a matter of fact, you threw all of the bags right in front of them. “And then Asmo.. oh my God, first of all, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Shocker, I know. If you were half as empathetic toward your family as you are obsessed with yourself, maybe you wouldn’t feel the need to always go party and drink your life away. Oh, I’m sorry, did that hit just a little too hard? Can’t be harder than the hangovers you wake up with on a regular basis.” You glared at him before turning your attention to Satan. “Honestly, if you weren’t such a baby inside I may actually be scared of you. You always complain about how stupid he is, how he needs to just learn, but you? What do you do all day? You hole yourself up in your room and read about worlds that you wish you could enter. News flash: you’d die before you had the chance to say hello. People don’t like self-proclaimed assholes. Mammon IS smart. He’s very talented, too, but you’re too far up in Shakespeare’s ass that you fail to realize that everyone has knowledge in different fields of life. Give me a break.” 
Satan was about to retort but you already moved on to Levi. “and you! Let’s be honest, if it weren’t for you wallowing in self-pity and fake depression, you would have absolutely no personality traits. What are you again? The Avatar of Envy? How about instead of being envious of others’ accomplishments, you actually start working on yourself. It’s truly pathetic that a couple millenia old demon’s only purpose in life is ramen and self inflicted emotional pain. Seriously, what are you? A pitiful loner? I can’t even begin to empathize with you in any way, shape, or form.” Your blood was boiling right now and maybe if they hadn’t attacked Mammon like they did, you would’ve felt bad about Levi’s sad face right now, but there was still one person left to deal with.”
“And you… beautiful, responsible, way-too-good-for-you older brother, Lucifer.” He’s been glaring at you this whole time, arms crossed over his chest but you stood your ground. You’re not quite sure how you managed, but you did. “You call yourself the best, the most responsible. You constantly say this family would fall apart without you, but that’s not it, is it? I think you’re just lonely. You force these six to be by you, to respect you and borderline worship you. Not because you deserve it…” you chuckled, shaking your head, “no. You’re just so sad that Daddy and Michael left you, mocked you, that you turned your sadness into anger and took it out on these six, but especially Mammon. Why? Because you see yourself in him. You call him your favorite brother, but it’s not because he actually is… he just reminds you of everything you used to be: fun, reckless, and feeling. Now you’re just cold, mean, and bitter. Don’t bother calling yourself the mighty first because without him you would be neither. Maybe if you pulled that stick out of your arse and actually tried to get to know your brothers, maybe you wouldn’t be so lonely all the time. Family, right? That’s what you want. How about you start acting like one.” 
You shook your head after that, grabbing Mammon’s hand and kicking the bags in front of you before dragging Mammon back out the door. “Those are for you, by the way. Not that you deserve them, but they’re Mammon’s way of apologizing for all the things you accused him of the minute he set foot into the house. Have fun. We’re going to the castle and, if we’re lucky, to a real home.” 
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anne-i-write · 3 years
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moriarty the patriot headcannons
| requested by anon: can you write headcanons for moriarty brothers meeting and having dinner with s/o's parents for the first time? and s/o's father is overprotective. thanks 🤍🙆🏻 |
william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader
word count: 1857
tw: mentions of toxic behavior in albert’s hcs
a/n: IM BACK AND THRIVING BBS!!! it’s so good to be back again to writing!!! hhh i’m so sorry if this is far from what you wanted but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!!!! lowkey went off the railings w this one so 👀 also if i missed any tags, please let me know!!!!!
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william: 803 words
it had been you and your father since you were younger bc your mom was the “lucky” choice of some noble
but you wouldn’t have it any other way
you two are very close and everyone in the town knows
that, and that you both hate nobles
so it’s no surprise when the moriartys move into town, you’re both less than pleased
you always try your best to avoid them whenever they come into your town and your father always begs his friends to take the nobles as customers, despite the fact it could be good for business
but the town you lived in was particularly small and you did end up bumping into william
literally
some stupid man didn’t see you crossing the road and you were nearly crushed by the carriage if it hadn’t been for the hand that pulled at your wrist
“i swear people these days don’t know how to drive carriages.”
you don’t know who you were expecting
BUT ANYONE BUT A NOBLE
“are you alright?”
“i’m fine thank you—“
you’re absolutely flustered
how did i not know that this was a noble??? he smells so clean!
“i’ve got to be on my way now!” and you left william there with no explanation
but lil did you know he actually knew who you were
or to an extent, you weren’t as sneaky as you’d hoped you’d be
he saw you hiding in corners and alleyways every time you two accidentally made eye contact
and some of the townsfolk actually told him a little about you and your father so he understood why you weren’t too welcoming
but to take great lengths to avoid him??? he is very intrigued
so he starts off small, trying to send you a kind smile before you dart off behind a fruit stall
he really tries his best to get close to you and after a few weeks (and a few persuasive friends), he finally gets to hold a conversation with you
and boy does he fall FAST
it takes a while but you finally reciprocate his feelings and he thinks its smooth sailing from there right???
lmao everyone knows your father is literally the most intimidating looking man that could ever walk the earth
if they didn’t know him personally, they would be afraid of getting curb stomped 🤠
i mean,, he’s a big softie but god forbid anyone even DARES to look at you in a romantic light
you warn william of this and he’s like “don’t worry love, it shouldn’t be too bad”
it is bad
even william has cold hands bc your father is giving him the dirtiest look
dinner isn’t even dinner it’s a grill with how much questions your father is asking him
it does NOT help that he’s a noble
“so,,, you’re a noble”
“your cooking is amazing sir”
your father leaves the table for a little bit and you can hear the quiet sigh of relief from william
“i’m sorry for my father”
“no, no,,, i just,,, your father’s really intimidating, isn’t he?”
you let out a chuckle and william relaxed, a soft smile gracing his lips
“he can be, but it’s just something he does.” you threw a wistful gaze at the door your father disappeared before.
“he’s just worried about you, i can see it. he doesn’t want you around people like me.” you grabbed his hand over the table and he gently squeezed your hand.
“if anything, if he’d give you a chance, he’d want me to be with you. noble or not”
you both continue to have a delightful conversation, your sweet laughs filling the room
however, you didn’t know your father was listening in on your conversation and he couldn’t agree more with william
your mother left with more than just a curt goodbye and unshed tears
she left you with a tear stained letter filled with sorrowful regrets and sincere apologies
he knew you would eventually grow up to be critical of the world and if you were to find out that your mother had left unwillingly, he was afraid that you would be too bitter towards the world
but as he hears your laugh and his worries are dulled down a little
he sees you smiling so happily at william and when he chances a glance at the noble beside you, his worries are completely erased
william’s looking at you the same way everyone swore he looked at your mother
it’s a gentle gaze filled with love and kindness, one that he knew could protect you and take care of you
your father hated nobles and hovered over you when it came to love
but he couldn’t help but hold back on questions when he came back and you instantly noticed that your father took a liking william
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louis: 508 words
everyone knew you as “Little Noble” in your town
the sole reason being your father literally treating you like a noble lmao
he gave you the best of everything he could afford and tried his best to not let you do any work
tried
of course, you were a little angel and you HAD to help otherwise you’d cry about making someone else tired when you could’ve easily helped
you’ve carried this trait until your early twenties and there were no signs that you would stop
hence why you were bringing home some fresh fruits from the stall clerk before a man bumps into you
you were so caught off guard that your knee buckled and you fell on your butt
everyone was stunned into silence as you fell but louis was so apologetic
so when he helped you back up, he felt the chilling stares of the town burning into his back
and then you apologize for bumping into him when he was the one who bumped into you and you fell??????
“please, let me make you something! i feel so bad!”
he tries to decline but there was this odd pressure to say yes to you
he ends up going home with you
you’re both in front of the door before your father opens it, his eyes wide
“who is this boy?”
“oh, i didn’t get his name on the way here. what is your name?”
your poor father’s heart is pounding way too fast for his liking
“oh! look at that, thank you so much for bringing my child home! you should be going home now”
he tries to shut the door on louis but you hold it open and beckon louis inside
“i invited him here! i accidentally bumped into him earlier so i offered to make him something!”
louis is so awkward pls
your father reluctantly lets him in but gives him a side eye the whole time he’s in the house
“does your child do this often?”
“why? do you find it strange?”
YOUR FATHER IS SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PLEASE SAVE LOUIS
anyways, you finish making your treat and give it to louis, your father glaring at your interaction
louis is still a little stiff but the more you talk to him, his guard is let down a little
soon enough he has to leave and you wish him well
he leaves with a wave and a kind smile and you look over at your father who had been scowling since you appeared at the front door
“he is a bit cute, don’t you think father?”
your father sputters, stunned by your bold claim
“y-you’re still too young to think about men like that!”
you laugh and shut the front door, teasing your poor father about finding love while also wondering if you would meet louis again
as you talk with your father behind closed doors, louis smiles to himself as he thinks about the unusual encounter today
surely, if i met them again tomorrow, it would make for a pleasant day
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albert: 546 words
he meets your father before he meets you
it was during a ball your parents organized in order to connect with the more prestigious nobles around you
your parents were obsessed with the way your family was viewed and apparently being an earl wasn’t enough
so albert hears about you when your father boasts about how you’re the perfect child who answered to his every beck and call
in all honesty, albert was disgusted
no one deserved to be brought up like that
he casually makes his way into the conversation and your father is seething
“my child is your age, it’s a shame you act like this, i would have thought of you as a prime husband for them”
who is this earl to tell him what to do?
needless to say your father crosses him off of the guest list for the next ball
days go by and your father doesn’t know that you’re currently in town, doing what you can to help the working class as best as you can
it is on one particular day of visiting an orphanage do you run into the eldest moriarty brother
you two exchange polite greetings and you both pause
“your father is the earl, is he not?”
“you are a general of the army, are you not?”
a brief mention of your father and your mood dulls slightly
“yes, but i’m here on my own accord”
he would kill you if he found out you were amongst the “filth” as he called them
“well, i’ve brought books for the children, would you like to help me read some to them?”
he seemed sincere enough to not want anything more from you, so you agreed
he was actually very pleasant to be around and you find yourself enjoying his company
the meetups continued to happen and soon enough, albert finds himself standing in front of the doors to your family estate
your father is not pleased at all
“it’s nice to meet you again, sir”
“i didn’t forget about what you said to me at our first meeting”
and you’re sitting there like,, ????? they’ve met??? and your father doesn’t like albert???????
of course, inviting albert to your home would have repercussions but you didn’t expect your father to be so hostile
he was always hostile towards other nobles unless they were of higher importance than him
but for him to hate albert so quickly and openly??? this was quite new
you had mentioned that your father has always been one for power so it was clear to albert that you obviously grew up in a home that was more,,, toxic than protective
it was at dinner that this behavior reached its peak and albert despised the atmosphere and the way your father treated you
“i’ve come here to ask for your child’s hand in marriage”
your father rejects the idea without any hesitation
“i refuse to have them live the rest of their life in your household when they could do so much better”
when you invited albert that night, you knew there would be repercussions with your father
but what you didn’t expect was that you would leave your father and adopt the moriarty name as your own, the family welcoming you with open arms
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moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji
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algumaideia · 3 years
Text
An analysis of Octavian
This post was actually going to be an explanation of why I think Octavian is an antagonist, but not a villain. But it ended up being an analysis of his character. 
SPOILERS
And as always feel free to disagree with me, just be respectful. 
Sorry, because it wasn’t well-written, I’m incapable of writing good texts. 
Backstory
I think it is important to say that since we don’t have any information about his backstory most of the thing said in this part of the review are what I think is his backstory. It is a mix of the facts stated in the books, the way Octavian acts and my interpretations. Besides the things I’ll make clear that were said in the books, the rest is not canon. And you don’t need to agree with me that this was his backstory.
His family is one of the richest of New Rome- In the books he also seems to act without fearing the consequences while taking the privilege/money of his family as garented. Octavian acts like someone that is seeking attention. It is so weird how he just do whatever he wants without fearing consequences when his family is right there in New Rome. For that to happen I think or his family neglects him or they are those kind of people who think the children can do no wrong and are all my baby didn’t do that. But I think that if they were the latter, they would be more present in Octavian’s life, but they are never there. 
He is an augere and feels very proud about it. I don’t think there is too much to add about it besides that I think he likes to be an augere because it makes him important and necessary.
No one likes him and this isn’t something new. In Son of Neptune, Hazel says half of the camp hates Octavian and most of his friends are bought. So, Octavian is a lonely child. And he is aware of this. He is a bad person, people dislike him for a reason. But it seems people have been disliking him for some years and he is a child. According to his wiki he was 10 years old when he came to Camp Jupiter for the first time, and he spent his tweens and teens years in a place where people did not like him. I don’t think this was a good place to grow up.
He is really smart and manipulative. I think that those traits are a little inconsistent. Because in the beginning of the SoN Percy says how Octavian is really good at manipulating people with words, but then in the ending of the book and in MoA everyone is shutting Octavian up. Isn’t he this kind of master of words, how he isn’t answering people back? 
We also know he’s been at camp jupiter for quite sometime. I’ll talk about it in another part of the post.
He is anemic and mentally ill. I’ll talk about those things in the Camp Jupiter, Treatment and Ableism parts. 
Other thing that I would like to say is that this post is not an attempt to ignore the bad things Octavian did and pretend he is not a bad person. It is just me trying to understand his better and show why in my opinion the fandom hasn’t treated him fairly.
Camp Jupiter
Camp Jupiter sucks and it does for a lot of reasons. Some of them being the fact they have a city full of adults and most of them were demigods trained in the camp, which means they have trained adults but instead tweens and teens are the ones who fights. Hazel said that if Percy dishonored the legion they both would be executed. Hazel also says that sometimes people die in the war games. There is also the fact that people are dying all the time in missions/wars. The Camp Jupiter also expects perfect behavior for its demigods, to them all know the rules and to do not commit mistakes and I don’t have adhd but this doesn’t seem to be a good place to people that has the disorder. There is too much preassure to do not do any wrong, apperently no emotional support and the punishments seems to be crazy. It’s not a healthy place to a chldren grow up.
Other point is how they value physical strenght, hand to hand combats and offensive approache more than a lot of things. Frank said how he wasn’t treated well because he was an archer, and this was seem as cowardice. Octavian is anemic, he doesn’t have physical strenght or energy to be able to fight. The only way to be respected in Jupiter's camp is to be a good fighter, and he cannot be that because of his illness. As I said Octavian is someone that is often seeking attention and validation by his peers, and I think that this is why being an augere is something so important to him. He cannot make himself important in the traditional way and by being an augere he is necessary to the camp. People cannot just dismiss him. He buys friends, he manipulates people, he becomes a centurion, he is always dominating the senate. He makes himself impossible to be neglected. 
Yes, Octavian is power-hungry. Yes, he is bad. But a lot of things he did during Heroes of Olympus was just Roman things (he was also mentally ill and his mental health was getting worse in each book). When Hazel says that Octavian will kill Percy if the greeks atack New Rome, but in the next sentence she says that Romans take oaths very seriously. However it is all written like it is Octavian being a horrible person. But it is not. The Romans are very harsh with their punishments, they seem to be violent, physical. When Octavian says the Romans should fight the greeks, he is just acting like a Roman, like someone who was raised in a enviroment that encouraged violence responses.
Treatment
Octavian wasn’t treated nicely by the narrative and other characters. I mean, this guy was the centurion of the first cohort and an augere. But no one seem to respect him. No one enters the legion without him saying yes (I know it is acording to what he sees) but he is treated like he isn’t important. He is the one that is responsable of saying what the gods wants, but no one seems to have problems mocking him. I mean fi he decides to give you a wrong information about what a god want you are dead. 
Hazel said how “obsessed” with the sibylline books Octavian and it was framed as him being irrational and dumb. But in the end he was right, if the legion listened to him Ella would have been save way sooner. But no, it is just Octavian being  “obsessed”.
Percy acts like Octavian doesn’t have any prophecy powers, but he saw the lighting in the Jupiter Temple. Then when Octavian is mad because there are three preators he acts like he is overreacting, and Jason and Reyna do nothing. And this is weird because it was made very clear that rules are very important to Camp Jupiter. 
When he decides to attack Camp Jupiter he is always villified and not seem as a mentally ill boy that has been getting worse doing the Roman thing. 
He is always dismissed, mocked, villified, ignored.
And the fact Luke was treated with sympathy, but Octavian not. Luke, who tried to kill Percy, a childre, a lot of times. Luke, who used Annabeth feelings and emotional attachment to manipulate her. Luke, who was 19-22 years old and groomed Silena, who was 14-18 years old. Luke, who poisoned Talia’s tree. Luke, who had no regards for Grover, the satyr that saved him. Luke was treated with sympathy. But not Octavian. Not the mentally ill child who was losing the touch with reality during the series. Not the guy who was just doing what he was raised to do. 
I mean, I don’t even like Octavian and I cannot stand it.
Gwen
Guys, Octavian did a lot of bad things but killing Gwen wasn’t one of those thing. It is so no sense for a lot of reasons. 
As we talked before he is anemic and he is also smart. This intelligent man, that is full aware of his physical limits, thought it would be a good idea to get in the midle of a chaotic fight? I don’t think so.
Some pages before that Percy hit Octavian and he fell like a straw man (according to the text, the first time I read it I thought he fainted). 
Octavian always makes things because of a purpose, he isn’t just being mean because. He does bad things because his actions will give him something. Killing Gwen wouldn’t help him with anything.
Frank for some reason decided to look to Octavian during that mess and that doesn’t make any sense. He is in the camp for a month at this time the guy should’ve already known that Octavian doesn’t battle, he only commands. He saw Percy fighting for a couple of seconds during the war game and was already able to say how he fought.
Octavian was without his knive, but just minutes before he fainted, he could have lost it when he fell.
Frank said that Octavian seemed interested and not worried. But this is not enough to blame the guy, this is not enough to assume anything execpt that maybe Octavian has low empath. 
Greeks
Octavian was a roman. To the romans the greeks didn’t exist anymore, and they were the enemy. 
So, a random greek shows up, spends some days at the camp, becomes preator, and two of your most important gods appear and give a lot of attention to this greek. This is really suspicious. This greek also says that the romans should work with the greeks so they can defeat Gaea. And why you should trust this dude? He doesn’t show respect for the Roman culture. Then this huge war ship appears and this suspect greek guy says that they all come peace and the romans should not attack. Obviously you don’t believe it, and what happens they attack! As the good roman you are, your answer is to attack the greeks back. 
The romans answers things with violence. This is why Reyna asked if Annabeth was a roman after the judo flip. This is why Hazel said she and Percy would be executed if he did a mistake during his period of probatio. Octavian was being roman. He was trying to protect and revenge his Camp against a long time enemy. 
Not saying everything he did about it was logical, but this is because of his upbringing and his mental health. 
Goals
I think it is really interisting the fact that Octavian main goal was to be a hero, not more powerful. Apollo didin’t say Octavian would become preator, he said Octavian would save New Rome. 
I mean, since Octavian wanted to be preator and then became the pontifex maximum, so the logical think it would be to him wants more power. But no he wants to be a hero. A hero is someone that is respected, admired, liked and even loved. All the thing Octavian isn't. Don't get me wrong, Octavian is a bad person, there is a reason people dislike him. But he is also a lonely child that is hated by most of the camp.
Ableism
Octavian is often described as crazy, mad, insane. In his first appearence Percy said Octavian had madness in the eyes, and this was the way of the narrative warning us he was one of the bad guys. He is obviusly mentally ill, his mental health is obviusly getting worse, but everyone ignores it. Everyone ignores it, execpt when they are describing how insane his laugh is, how crazy he looks, how intense his gaze is. Everyone ignores it, until they need to remind us he is one of the antagonists. 
Ending
The ending was terrible. 
Octavian was obiously having a psychotic break, he was stumbling, laughing “in an insane” way, and he didn’t realize his jewelry was in fire. And then what happens? Michael Kahale, the person he most trusted, his problaby only friends appeared, saw the situation and did nothing.
Octavian didn’t kill himself. He didn’t know his clothes were tied in the onager. It wasn’t a sacrifice. It was an aciddent. 
Nico stopped Will Solace who was trying to warn it because some “deaths are inevitable”. Nico, also a mentally ill character saw Octavian in the vulnerable state he was and did nothing to help him. And when Nico was seeing Octavian lunch himself to the sky he thought that this was a relief. No one was sad, no one thought this was a tragedy, no one cared. Octavian was dead and that was a relief. 
The guy was so desperate to be the hero and no one even cared about his death. It is horrible.
Another sorry for the weird tense of the text.
If you want to read this is my post about Octavian and Azula and how their mental illness were treated differently.
Best regards,
Me. 
Ps. We need to start talking how the way Bryce was written was ableist.
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dreadpoetssociety · 3 years
Text
Fevers Don’t Exist
TW: Fever ? (I’m not sure what counts for triggers so pls lmk if I miss anything)
Prompt: hi!! could u do one maybe where like, the reader is an actress on supernatural and she plays like their younger sister on the show or something and she gets sick at a con or something? Thanks !!
NOTE: Hey guys, I’m alive!!!! I know I have a lot of Spencer prompts atm, but it’s really hard to write them when I’m not like, hyper focused on Criminal Minds. I am going to try though! So sorry I’ve left so many of you in the wind, I am a very inconsistent person, my bad. But here’s this! It’s REALLY bad because I’m terrible at being realistic but like idk it’s something.
I really don’t even know what to put for tags on this. 
()()()()()() 
Ah, September. You knew what came along every September, and looked forward to it for the first eight months of every year. Secaucus, New Jersey. You loved every con you went to, truly. Everyone was so nice, you love staying in hotels, panels are such a great time, the whole thing. It's a great experience outside of the set to get connected with fans. And, they loved you almost as much as you loved them. You were typically closer in age, since you were still just a teenager. You also started out as a fan of the show before somehow snatching a role, so you really were with them at one point. Everything that excites them excited you just as much. And, you loved making friends with them. You weren't allowed to be reckless with your phone number, so you made a snapchat that you shared exclusively with con goers, whom you made swear to secrecy. It was like a club, and you just enjoyed genuinely talking to everyone. But, when you woke up that first morning, you knew it was going to be a long day. Your body ached, and you were still pretty exhausted. You had a fever, but didn't really know if it was a fever because you were still young, and God forbid you ever decided to recognize the signs of you being sick. It was almost like a form of denial, not knowing. You were sweating, but freezing, and your throat felt particularly dry. Your headache rested underneath your eyes for the most part, to which you just blamed on being tired. Your stomach didn't hurt, but you definitely weren't hungry. Even though you hadn't felt exactly 100% the past days before, and you obviously weren't feeling right now, you just deduced that it was all because you were tired, and had a late flight in. As a responsible person does, of course. You didn't even bother taking any medicine for it, because hey, you obviously weren't sick, you'd feel better in a bit, and you didn't have any, so why waste the time, right? 
You groggily got dressed and met up with "the boys" (even though they were all older than you) for the free breakfast downstairs, in a separate room, since fans did happen to stay in the same hotel. You grabbed some Cheerios, only to conspicuously throw them away after. 
"You good, Y/N?" Jared asked out loud, gaining the attention of Jensen, Misha, and Alex. You could feel their eyes burning through your skin. Or, maybe that was the fever. It had to be their eyes, you convinced yourself, you didn't have a fever. You were fine. 
"Yeah, why?" you asked, faking the perk in your voice and confused eyes. Your eyes felt really heavy, you noticed. 
"You just... You look exhausted. And pale." he said, "And you threw away that cereal without eating any of it." 
You looked down at yourself as an effect for what you were about to say, "Wow, well that's one way to make me self-conscious. I thought I looked kind of poppin'." you laughed slightly, trying to play it off. 
"W-wait, no that's- that's not what I meant! You look fine, I just-" he was embarrassed. You and the others chuckled.
"I'm kidding. I'm all good, just went to bed late, y'know?" you smiled. It was hard to try and mask the rasp in your voice, and doing so made you feel the need to cough, so you downed some water until it dialed down a bit. He nodded. In your mind, you blessed your acting skills, thinking you got away with it. What you didn't know was that Misha, Jensen, and Jared, as fathers do, knew every trick in the book, and each noted to keep an eye on you. Not to mention, they'd been acting far longer than you had, and could just tell when one switches into a character. They all figured that if you weren't sick now, you would be in days to come, and exchanged glances with each other, while Alex innocently continued to chew on his toast. 
"Well, if you're tired, I don't think you have a panel or anything for another hour or something, maybe you could catch up on some sleep then." Jared suggested. You shrugged.
"Nah," you said, "I've got photo-ops in like, twenty minutes. I should actually probably get going. I'll catch up later!" 
You left with a wave, and disappeared into the hotel somewhere. You stopped in your room, allowing yourself finally to set free the coughs living in the back of your throat. You blamed it on your throat being dry since you didn't drink enough water. Not on germs. So, you grabbed two water bottles from the small fridge in your room, and left, making your way towards the convention center.
  You felt slightly better during photo-ops, which just confirmed in your mind that it was impossible that you were sick right now. You smiled and talked to everyone. There was one girl, who introduced herself as Meredith, who stuck out in your mind. She gave you this super cool hand painted keychain, which you very excitedly put on your keys instantly.
"Dude, I've been looking for a cool keychain. Not just one of those janky ones you find at like 7-11, like a cool one. This is so exciting." you smiled genuinely. You had just recently bought yourself a car, and thought that your keys looked a little lonely, and searched for hours on Etsy for something to spice it up a bit. A weird obsession, thinking about it now.
She laughed, "I'm glad you like it!"
"Hell, yeah! Now, are there any poses you wanna do? Or do you just want to hit that casual look? I could make it look like I'm meeting you." you stupidly rambled. One of your traits that was so widely known was how funny and awkward (in a good way) that you were. It took you a long time to get to that point, though, because you were always anxious about meeting others. You still are every now and then, but it's different here. 
"I was just hoping to get a hug." she said, "If that's okay with you." 
"Yeah, that's cool!" you wrapped your arms around each other and shot the camera a grin. The girl looked a bit confused. 
"Hey," she said, quietly, "are you like, okay? You feel really hot."
Nervously, you replied, "Oh, no, yeah totally fine. I'm just wearing two layers, and it's getting spicy in here."
"Yeah," she answered, "don't push yourself, okay?"
"I won't, thank you. It was really nice meeting you!" 
"You, too! Thanks!" she waved goodbye and you moved on to the last few people in line. She was right, though. You realized that you felt worse than you did when you walked in. You thought it had gone away for a while, but now it was just amplified. You noticed you were cold again, but that you were sweating as well. It must've just been the temperature in the room. These conventions aren't always able to keep a steady temp in the entire building, right?
This day, you didn't have much to do. Most of your events were on the other days to come. You had one panel in a few hours, and then a panel with Jared, Jensen, and Misha a few hours after that, and then bam, the day was over. You just had to get through those two events. Just two. 
Two, events. And both were an hour. So, two hours out of the day. Rookie work. Yet, as your panel approached, the headache had expanded from under your eyes to anywhere that there was space to hurt, your throat ached and so did your lungs from how much you were going off somewhere to cough in privacy, your body felt heavy, you couldn't tell if you were hot or cold at this point it was some weird combination of both, your stomach hurt just slightly, the world was moving around you a bit more than it usually would, and the fever you "didn't" have had climbed a degree, probably two. And, at some point during the day, you got pretty congested. You felt like you could just fall asleep at any moment. Jared and Jensen happened to be walking by where you had been waiting by yourself, away from any congoers or employees, and noticed that even though you were leaning against a wall, you somehow were still swaying.
"Y/N?" Jensen called out, worried. You heard him, you knew you were supposed to respond, but didn't know how. Maybe you did have a fever, and maybe you sort of let it out of control. It was like you were comprehending them, but not at the same time. You heard everything, but it just swept right through your feverish mind. The walked in front of you and examined you within seconds. You felt Jared's cold, really abnormally large man hand sweep your hair back and land on your forehead. 
"J, she's burning up." you felt another hand on your face. You, quite exhaustedly, swatted it away. They couldn't figure out how it'd gotten so bad so quickly. You were sick this morning, but not to this degree. They knew then that you had just shrugged it off all day, and your teenage fever brain probably didn't even think to take any kind of medicine or anything for it, even if you were trying to hide it.
"I'm good. Just tired. Fevers don’t exist." you finally mumbled, taking a few deep breathes, which you hadn't really been able to do in a bit without being rudely interrupted by a bone-shaking cough. It felt nice, almost. The boys sighed at you and shook their heads. 
"Y/N, you should go back to your room and get some rest. We can bring you some stuff that'll help." Jared suggested. You shook your head and opened your eyes, which somehow felt even heavier.
"Nah," you said to them, "I've got a panel, I think, in like, I ‘dunno, some minutes or something. Something I-" you pushed yourself off the wall to try and make your way somewhere, but stumbled a step or two, which result in Jensen and Jared instinctively to grab you in order to keep you steady.
"Like hell we're letting you go to that, Y/N, you can't even form a sentence, or stand for that matter. You're out of your mind. We're going to bring you back now, we'll take care of your panel thing." Jensen stated pretty sternly. You were about to fight back, and they could see it, but you coughed a few times, and they could almost feel it in their own chests. You just nodded in defeat.
"Yeah, maybe I could just like, sleep, for an hour or two." you whispered, tiredly. The two were still holding you steady, and could see you already falling asleep before even going anywhere. 
"Or six, by the looks of it." Jared joked lightly.
"Poor kid." Jensen said to Jared as the were walking out of your room. They helped you get there, and you were gone before you even saw the bed, "Why do they always have to pretend like they aren't sick? Look where it gets them."
"Don't know, man. You can't talk, though. You literally tell people you are immune to illness." Jared laughed quietly, shutting you door.
"Well I am. I am the perfect example of health. I don't get sick." 
"Yeah," Jared rolled his eyes, "Right. Watch you catch what Y/N has. You practically carried her all the way here. There's no way you're escaping it." Walking towards the center, the back way of course, Jensen scoffed, "Please, germs take one look at me and know not to mess this up. And, by the logic, that means you're already infected, too. So, tell me, princess, what sort of soup do you want spoon-fed?" 
Again, Jared rolled his eyes, and the two laughed. They weren't making fun of you, they were making fun of each other, and knew that you would've wanted in on that action.
"Y/N probably would've destroyed us if she heard that. Something along the longs of 'You want me to tuck you in? Carry you bridal style?'" Jared pitched his voice a tone higher for it. Again, the two men laughed.
They made their way backstage of what's supposed yo be your panel, and informed the crew about what was going on. They were just going to fill in for you, probably tell a few embarrassing stories.
When they made their way through the curtain, the crowd shouted. They were obviously excited to see the two leads, but also were obviously confused. "Alright, you're probably confused." Jensen stated the obvious, "Because obviously, we look nothing like Y/N, and thank God she does not look like us." The crowd laughed.
"Anyway, Y/N can't make it today. She's really sick-" the crowd cut Jared off with a unison "awe." People yelled out that they hoped she felt better, tell her to take care of herself, and so on.
"Yeah, poor kid looked like she was just going to fall asleep right where she was standing. She literally tried to come anyway, like, kid, you're making no sense. Y/N couldn't really fight against us, though, so she's sleeping now." Jensen explained, "So we came here to chat in her stead, but just know she really was planning on coming. That kid loves you guys." and again, the "awe" rolled through the crowd. 
"If she wasn't sick, she could totally kick both your-" the last word was cut off, but was implied anyway, someone screamed from the crowd, which resulted in laughter.
"Yeah, probably. Even if we were stronger than her," sarcastically, of course, "she'd still beat us. Kid's too fast, and I'm too old." Jared laughed.
In the last ten minutes of the panel, Jared decided to give you call. Not only to check in on you, but so you could at least say hi to your crowd. When you heard the phone ring, you groggily opened your eyes and aimlessly reached for it.
"Hello?" you answered. Jared almost frowned at how sick you sounded, even with just one word.
"Y/N?" Jensen stepped in, "It's Jensen."
"Unfortunate." you sighed exhaustedly. It was joke, a really tired one, but still enough to make the crowd laugh.
"We're here at your panel, we thought you might want to say hi." Jared said loudly, holding the speaker of his phone to the microphone. 
"Panel?" you asked. Panel? What panel? Your delirious mind was clearly confused, "Who's that?" 
"Y/N, the con. The convention panel?" Jensen actually sounded worried. They probably should've thought to give you some sort of medicine to do something about the fever you had before they'd left.
"Oh," you closed your eyes again, almost falling asleep, before remembering finally what it was they meant, and after a moment, "Oh! Crap, the panel thing, I'm late."
"No, Y/N, stay there, we've got it covered remember? You can't come. You can say hi to them, though." Jensen interjected quickly.
"Okay, hi guys." you just followed as told.
The crowd responded with a series of hello's. 
"'M really sorry. I hope they aren't boring you." the two men could practically hear you closing your eyes. The crowd responded in inaudible chatter. Jensen and Jared walked from the mic for a second.
"Sorry if we woke you, kid." Jared apologized, having just realized they probably could've left you alone, "W also just wanted to check in. See how you're doing."
"How are you feeling?" Jensen asked, but got a mumbled word in response, "Alright, well, just go back to sleep, we'll be up there soon." 
Jared hung up the phone, and the two began to answer the last few questions and close up. They waved their goodbyes to the crowd, and started heading back your way.
"Jensen, you got any over the counters with you? Thermometers or anything? All I've got is Advil, and I don't even know what's really bothering her yet other than that cough and being tired."
"Yup. Danneel always makes me carry literally an entire medicine cabinet, just for these moments. I'll go get 'em and meet you there. It'd probably do her some good to eat something, too. I don't know if she's got like, a stomach virus thing going on, though." Jensen answered.
"I'll see what she'll say and let you know." 
The two parted ways, and Jared made his way to you. Even though he'd only talked to you just a few minutes before, you were dead to the world by the time he opened the door. The room was boiling, and Jared looked over to the thermostat to see that you'd at some point put it on to 90 degrees. 
"Jesus, Y/N, I know you've got a fever, but damn." he said, more so to himself than to you. He looked over at you after turning it down to see you curled beneath what looked like any blanket you could find. He came over and started removing the blankets slowly, and shook you gently to wake you up.
"Y/N, wake up for a minute, it's Jared."
"'Mm." was all you said, until you realized your layers of warmth had been moved, "What're doing? It's cold."
"Y/N, you're dripping in sweat. It's the fever making you cold."
"I don't have a fever." you retorted, "I'm good. Just tired."
"Kid, you've been tired the whole day. You've been sleeping this whole time." he tried rationalizing.
"I have?" you questioned, closing you eyes again. Jared put his hand to your forehead again. Somehow, it was warmer than the first time he'd done it before the panel. It was then that Jensen finally appeared, a whole bag of things in hand, "Could you bring the thermometer over?"
"Yeah, gotcha." He walked over and rummaged through the bag at the same time, pulling out a thermometer.
"Y/N, we need to take your temperature." Jensen said.
"No need." you said, "'M not sick."
"You are so obviously sick, I'm not asking." again with that stern voice. Jared gave him a "Hey, she's sick, back off a little" sort of look, but it had worked, and you let them take your temp. They were almost shocked when the thing beeped at 103.
"Should we take her to a hospital? That's way too high." Jared asked. 
"If it gets any higher, yes, but let's see if we can bring it down first." Jensen replied.
"No hospitals." you demanded, opening your eyes and glaring at them. 
"We aren't bringing you yet, Y/N, but I need you to eat this so you can take some meds." he held out two pieces of toast that he must've brought from his room. You hated toast even when you weren't sick.
"I'm not really hungry." 
"I know, but it'll help. You haven't told us what's bothering you yet, either." Jared responded.
"Nothing's-" you coughed a few times, a bit violently, "bothering me." "We can see that." Jensen said sarcastically.
"Everything's bothering me." you whispered, giving up.
"Your stomach hurt?" Jensen asked. You waved your hand from side to side to signal a so-so, "Think you'll get sick at all?"
"No, it's not like that, I don't think." you breathed out, another cough escaping you. You took a few bites out of the toast. It made you uncomfortable, but it was then that you realized you probably felt that way since you really hadn't eaten much that day or the one before, which probably contributed to the splitting headache. It didn't go away after, either though. You pushed yourself up. You almost fell over, but Jared put a hand out for you.
"Alright, good. Take this. I'm going to be frank, it tastes disgusting." Jensen handed over a small cup of liquid, "Sometimes, if you take it like a shot, it helps. But you shouldn't know how to take shots, but if you do it, I won't judge." And so you did, causing the two to chuckle slightly at you. 
"You were right, about the sleep thing." you slumped back onto the bed heavily, like a brick.
"When am I ever wrong?" Jensen asked, "Don't answer that, actually."
But you were already sleeping again, and the boys decided to stay nearby for now. The next panel wasn't for another few hours anyway, and they just didn't want you to be alone. Also, incase you were wrong about the toast, and it decided to make its return. Jared's phone began to ring loudly, to which he very quickly tried to answer so his obnoxious ringtone wouldn't wake you up again, not that you wouldn't have just fallen back asleep anyway.
"Misha? Hey, what's up?" Jared answered. Jensen walked over to hear what was going on on the other side of the line, but Jared just decided to put it on speaker.
"Where are you guys? I haven't seen you all day. Felicia, Alex, and I are going out for lunch, we were wondering if you guys want to come. I tried calling Y/N, but she didn't answer, so." he rambled.
"That's because Y/N's not feeling well." Jensen said, giving him a solution to his predicament of not being answered, "We're with her right now, so we'll have to pass."
"She's sick? Is she okay?" 
"Yeah, I think so. She's just got this crazy fever we've been trying to bring down. Thinking about it now, Jensen, we should probably check it again." 
"A fever?"
"It's been at 103 degrees for like, two hours. At least for what we know of. She's probably had one all day, but as a dumb teenager does, she just tried to ignore it." 
"If it goes up you should-"
"Yeah, we know," Jared said, "we're trying really hard to avoid that, though. Also, she'll definitely fight against it, I don't know." 
Jensen, from the other side of the room at the sound of a beeping thermometer, could be heard on Misha's end, "It went down, finally. 102.2."
"Thank God, I was getting worried."
"Should I come there? Do you guys need any help?" Misha asked.
"I mean you can, but I think we're good. She's just been trying to sleep it off the whole time, so not much is really going on." Jensen was closer to the phone now, "Like, she's got this cough, a headache, and you can hear how congested she sounds, but mostly I think she's just exhausted. I honestly don't know how because she's just been sleeping for hours."
"Fatigue."
"Yeah, poor kid. I don't think I've ever seen her so tired, it almost makes me tired to be honest." Jensen joked.
"Maybe you're just getting sick." Jared slipped in.
"Not possible. I am immune."
"Nobody is immune, Jensen." Misha sighed.
"I'm not nobody." he shrugged. 
"Alright, well, we're going to get lunch then. If you need anything let me know, and tell her I hope she feels better." Misha concludes.
"We will, thanks Misha." and with that, Jared hung up. For a few more hours, the two hung around. They were there when you woke from some fever dreams, and when you needed a cough drop, or twelve, and wake you up every now and then to check your temperature, which raised and dropped and raised and dropped, but currently was at a very steady 102.4. But, soon enough, it was time for them to leave for the last panel of the day, and unsurprisingly, you tried to follow suit.
"Y/N, we gotta go, but we'll be back in about an hour from the panel." Jared said. You took a deep breath and sluggishly pushed yourself to the side of the bed. Having been sick, and not having sat up in a few hours, the blood rushed from your head, leaving you dizzy.
"What're you doing?" Jensen asked.
"The panel. I missed the last one I should go to this one. I feel okay." you yawned, then coughed slightly.
"Y/N, really, you shouldn't even think about pushing it like that." Jared said. Jensen walked over to you, half on the bed, clearly trying to steady yourself just from the movement of sitting up. The spinning room honestly almost made the toast make a reprise, and you hiccupped, and held your breath.
"Hey," Jensen grabbed a can quickly, noticing, "are you going to be sick?"
Giving it a minute, it went away, and you shook you head no, causing a huge tension to leave the room.
"Alright, well, remember how you said I was right all the time earlier?" Jensen pun the can down.
"No, must've been the fever." you half joked, causing Jared to laugh. 
"Alright- well- okay, shut up. We agreed I'm always right, and that I was right about needing sleep, so I say you need some more." Jensen demanded rather than suggested. 
"Yeah, or at least lay around and do nothing. I can't imagine ever sleeping as much as you just did." Jared joked, pushing you very gently back down, with his hand on your back, knowing you would just hit the bed without it. Your eyes were heavy again, and your throat was painfully dry, and you coughed. Your aching head also agreed with the two of them to your dismay.
"Maybe just a bit more." you mumbled, "A few minutes."
"Yeah a few minutes, sure." Jared smiled, knowing you were probably going to knock out for a few hours once again. You opened your eyes again.
"You think," you coughed, "that they'll be mad?
"Who?" Jensen asked.
Feeling pretty sick, you said, "That I don't go? I don’t feel really good."
Ah, the fever comes to play once again, it seems, but the two felt some sort of triumph now that you've at least admitted to being sick, even if it's been hours. It concerned them, though, if you felt bad enough to admit it.
"No, they'll be fine about it. We'll be back soon. Misha or Alex might come in to check on you, alright?" Jared answered, to which you nodded.
They weren't gone long. You spent half the next day sleeping, too, until you could stand without swaying. You did sneak back to the con, against Jensen and Jared's orders, since you really didn't break that fever and cough for a few more days, only to be caught after a tweet of you at the con was trending and the cast caught wind of it. But, eventually, you were better, and got the chance to help Jared take care of an "always immune" Jensen. And he was more stubborn than you were.
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wisteria-lodge · 3 years
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lion primary + slightly burnt snake secondary (bird model/performance)
Hi there! I’m a little nervous to send in this submission but I so grateful that you’re responding to people! Sorry in advance for being a bother, haha.
Burned Secondary. Calling it.
I’m a fae lion primary (freedom being the main internal compass) but I’m very confused about my secondary. I think its really burned or I’m just bad at figuring it out, because I didnt really vibe with any of the descriptions of the secondaries, whereas I took one look at the lion primary and knew that it was me pretty much instantaneously.
… doubling down on burnt secondary as a definite possibility.
I think I picked up a bird model when I was really young, though. I love learning and studying, but at some point I feel like you actually have to *do* something, and honestly find it frustrating to work with people who plan a lot.
Yeah, I don’t think you’re a Bird secondary.
In school people always assumed that I was this really academic person
Which is not the same thing as being a Bird, not even close.
but I really floundered in uni and ended up going to a program that allowed me some more freedom in dealing with issues, instead of being very by the book.
Oh excellent! You found a program that catered more to an improvisational style, love to hear it.
I think the reason I’m struggling with finding my secondary is that the bird model was what I used to get through school, and I find it hard to tell what’s underneath that sometimes. Especially as I really felt pigeonholed into being the “encyclopedia” of the friend group, even when it makes me miserable.
So it sounds like you’ve got some sort of Bird secondary *performance* that you dislike.
Every time I try to make a plan I end up going totally off-script anyways, to the point that most of my “plans” are just me saying very confidently that I totally have a plan.
I’ve noticed that in video games I tend to be the one that really likes to go hunting for alternate pathways and solutions, and I love being rewarded for being extra observant about an area or a place.
Love looking for unusual workarounds, incredibly observant and turned in to your environment? That sounds preeeetty Snake secondary.
I definitely have a bit of an obsession with exploring. But at the same time, I kind of hate using guides for stuff like that because I want to be the one to find it myself.
You’re not a Built secondary (Bird or Badger)
Part of the fun is that I dont have anyone helping me out.
I do think that freedom-loving Fae Lion primary is showing here.
One of the things I remember super fondly is the time that I was able to break into an in-game prison and then break out of it again just because I wanted to see how the game would react and what it would throw at me in the process. I was also more than willing to get in and out of the prison a few times just to see if there were any other ways to get in or out.
I think that “stir the pot just to see what will happen” is a very Snake Secondary trait.
I feel like a bad person for even saying it but I’m also scarily good at bullshitting. I’ve been told by people around me that I’m super insightful, when I’m almost always just making up as I go. I remember that one time a teacher told me I had written the most interesting interpretation of a piece of text he had seen, but in reality I was just going off of a gut feeling and a lot of “yeah, that sounds like I know what I’m talking about”.
And you didn’t vibe with the Snake secondary? Because this sounds like a Snake secondary. And there’s nothing to feel bad about, it’s just an alternate way of thinking.
… but the fact that you *DO* feel bad about it means that, yeah, it’s burnt.
I also remember that I got into a huge debate at school, and people were talking about how much of a good debater I was, but I was literally just able to sound *very* impassioned about a subject I knew nothing about. I remember having a lot of fun trying to counter what people were saying in the moment, and there was a sort of weird enjoyment in knowing that it was me that was making them agree, not the argument, if that makes any kind of sense.
Snakes don’t have to believe the mask the way Badgers do, and this is WAY too improvisational and off-the-cuff to be Actor Bird. And Lions, well. They aren’t ABLE to convincingly sound passionate about something they know nothing about. 
I’ve consistently been told that I’m a shit disturber (and proud).
Your secondary might be a little burnt, but that Lion Primary is doing JUST fine.
I think my best shit disturbing moment was when I realized that a friend of mine was lying about their beliefs, and pretty much managed to corner them into a place where they couldnt *not* admit it. I kind of feel bad about it because it sounds like I was being super manipulative, but I wasnt really doing it consciously so much as I was just watching the flow of the conversation and seeing that they were about to try and hand wave it away. I guess overall my way of dealing with new problems is to just say fuck it and let things happen the way that they need to, with the confidence that I can kind of just do what I need to in order to be successful. So to me, I feel like I’m either a snake who lost confidence in the method, or a lion that just likes arguing.
I am definitely, definitely seeing a [somewhat] Burnt Snake secondary here. And a really loud Lion Primary that colors things in a way that could definitely be confusing on your end.
Anyways, thank you so much for the help! Im so sorry that this is very stream of concious-y but I really appreciate it!
Seems all right to me :D
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yellowocaballero · 3 years
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i know you don't do requests, and i don't expect you to take it as one, but: opinion on s3/s5 jonmartin wlw au? i guess it'd be joanna and martha or different names of the same origin. i feel like it has... raw power and potential. but i might also be in too deep. i just feel like there'd be so many changes that are ultimately little, and yet profound; foreshadowing akin to finding a corpse of a person long lost in spring. i'm sorry, i have no idea how to communicate it in other words.
anyway, hope you're doing well and recovering! what are some new fandoms you're beginning to dabble in?
Thanks for the ask! I’m obsessed with your depiction of the raw power and potential of lesbians. You’re absolutely right. I’ll also spend the rest of this ask assuming that they’re cis women. 
My first instinct is to say that, for Jon and Martin specifically, not too much would change. Jon might feel even more insecure about the Head Archivist job. There’s a new dimension onto the way Jon is, esp in S3, a victim of a lot of violence, aggression, and emotional manipulation, which would add a very different cast with a woman (tbh, this is probably why this element of the story is more interesting if Jon’s a guy. *reylo voice* female coded trauma). Similarly, S5 would take on an even more Kill Bill vibe. I think Tim wouldn’t hate Jon as much. The elements of him stalking them wouldn’t be seen as threatening or creepy, just really pathetic and weird. Daisy attacking and stalking Jon would also have a very different context, which I really wouldn’t like. Melanie would probably like him more, since he’d be perceived as less threatening. Similarly, Jon forcibly taking statements would be coded much less as sexual assault. 
The reason why a lot of the Assistants dislike Jon in canon is because he’s perceived as inherently threatening due to his power. It’s not due to anything he really does beyond some early stalking, but everybody’s afraid of him, but because he never actively threatens any of them then they feel comfortable being derisive. Women are perceived as less threatening, so the perception of Jon might shift more towards pathetic. 
And Martin has eldest daughter syndrome in canon, so...nothing major there would change whatsoever, at all, except probably his feelings of worthlessness and incompetence would feel different. A woman feeling incompetent can be a little bit different than a guy feeling incompetent. 
Jon and Martin are very ‘unmasculine’ characters and people, which I think is part of why people like them so much. I try do try to take into account masculinity and feminity when writing characters, but I always write Martin with absolutely no sense of masculinity, and Jon’s is much more complicated. I’m not really sure how Jonmartin would be different, although I’m sure they would be - I don’t spend too much time thinking about or writing Jonmartin as a relationship instead of a character dynamic, so I can’t think of anything off the top of my head.
TL;DR - Like with most (cis) genderbends, the actual story would be 80% the same, and most of the changes would be in the character dynamics.TMA is so refreshingly almost nongendered that the characterizations and the role of the characters would be basically unchanged. However, as with any kind of (cis) genderbending but especially for TMA, it would give a very different context and implication to a lot of the events in the story. There are very strong themes of violation, removal of agency, manipulation, and putting those onto a female Jon changes the context and would inevitably overlay a metaphor of gendered violence. 
Sorry, haha, you probably wanted me to talk more about Jonmartin and Martin! But Jon is a fascinating male lead because he occupies a deeply male AND female role in the story. He has lots of masculine traits, but male heroes are rarely treated like he is. 
And I’m doing very well. I’m taking it easy in writing so I’m going through this new story very slowly, and tbh I don’t really do fandm stuff unless I’m writing for it! The story I might work on after HR2 is a PJO fic, though! I’ve never been really good at watching TV, but I finally got around to reading Dr Faustus and I want to finish my new Beowulf translation, finish my Jeeves & Wooster book, and finally check out The Devil and the Dark Water by Stuart Turton! Thanks for the ask!
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thedevilsmemes · 3 years
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    PINTEREST QUOTES I USE IN MY MUSINGS BOARDS                           ~ A SENTENCE MEME - PART 1
                        Change pronouns as / when needed to preferred pronoun.
“I prefer to distance myself whenever I’m in a bad mood because I’ll become the most heartless person you’ll ever meet.”
“I can’t be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.”
“And yet, despite the look on my face, you’re still talking!”
“Master the art of observing.”
“You have to present yourself in such a way that people don’t even feel right approaching you with bullshit.”
“If you want to be strong, learn how to fight alone.”
“Move in silence; only speak when it’s time to say CHECKMATE!”
“My biggest problem? I notice everything.”
“Sometimes it’s better just to remain silent and smile.”
“She has a way with words, red lipstick and making an entrance.”
“Don’t play games with a girl who can play better.”
“My touch is power.”
“Let me distract you.”
“You can’t do epic shit with basic people.”
“I honestly don’t know anyone like you. Except for me, You’re a lot like me; which I absolutely love.”
“The secret to a well balanced life is a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other.”
“Dangerous but fun.”
“I’m not in danger, I’m the danger.”
“ ‘You look unapproachable…’ and yet here you are… approaching me.”
“I’m not the good guy, remember? I’m the selfish one. I take what I want, I do what I want. I don’t do the right thing.”
“Admit it, life would be so boring without me.”
“I love being me. It pisses off all the right people.”
“Is my soul too dark for you?”
“We all have demons; I just choose to feed mine.”
“Here comes trouble.”
“What I create is chaos.”
“I’m not a thief, I’m just really good at accumulating things that aren’t mine.”
“A grin as sharp as a knife.”
“He was pretty cute for a monster.”
“You’re a psychopath!”
“I prefer creative.”
“Crooked grins, sly hands, and one dangerous voice.”
“I’m the tall dark stranger, those warnings prepared you for.”
“He was beautiful; beautiful like the Devil before his fall.”
“What doesn’t kill me, better run.”
“I’m everything you can’t control.”
“Who are you?”
“Demon to some; angel to others.”
“He will do what it takes to survive.”
“Nothing stands between a girl and her coffee.”
“She wasn’t just pretty. She was otherworldly and vaguely threatening.”
“And what could be more beautiful, than bringing new life into the world?”
“My body is basically a filter. Coffee goes in and sarcasm comes out.”
“I love the way your eyes light up when someone says ‘It might be dangerous!’ ”
“With OCD, little things become all that you can see.”
“I chose medicine because I can think of no other professional avenue more challenging, evolving and noble.”
“Insert coffee to begin.”
“Stressed, Blessed and Coffee obsessed.”
“I love it when the coffee kicks in, and I realise what an adorable badass I’m going to be today.”
“Follow your heart but take coffee with you.”
“I have sea foam in my veins, I understand the language of the waves.”
“The waves of the sea help me to get back to me.”
“Because I am my mother’s daughter, I can do anything. My mother’s strength lives in me.”
“I’d rather be dancing.”
“Where there is kindness, there is goodness and where there is goodness, there is magic.”
“Have courage and be kind.”
“Gentle and loving and very patient.”
“Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.”
“She didn’t need to be fixed, just loved.”
“I wasn’t ready for half of the shit I’ve been through, but obviously I’m built for it.”
“I dance because there is no greater feeling in the world than moving to a piece of music and letting the rest of the world disappear.” 
“Don’t fashion me into a maiden that needs saving from a dragon. I am the dragon and I will eat you whole.”
“Don’t worry mother, your daughter is a soldier.”
“Sometimes you just gotta lay on the floor with your dog.”
“I am a fate worse than death.”
“She doesn’t need a hero, she is the hero.”
“You should never make a dance mad. They can kick your face, no matter how tall you are.”
“A well-read woman is a dangerous creature.”
“And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”
“Note to self: Let shit go.”
“Beautiful girl, you were made to do hard things, so believe in yourself.”
“I’m a monster.”
“My sadness turns to anger and that’s one of my worst toxic traits I have.”
“I don’t know where my head is at anymore… one minute I’m happy and the next I feel broken.”
“Me shutting down is far worse than me blowing up, I promise.”
“When the Devil falls in love, it’s the most hauntingly beautiful thing ever. And you should be terrified, because he will go to the depths of Hell for her.”
“Hello, I’m rich, nice to meet you.”
“Fifty shades of tired.”
“I’ll get over it, I’ve just got to be dramatic first.”
“Of course I feel too much. I’m a universe of exploding stars.”
“If I’m not hurting myself, I’m hurting everyone around me.”
“It’s not okay. Nothing about me is okay.”
“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen; a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth.”
“It doesn’t matter what I do or what I choose because I’m what’s wrong.”
“Why should I apologize for the monster I’ve become? No one ever apologized for making me this way.”
“I’m terrified. I’m always terrified. I act like I know what I’m doing but the truth is I don’t.”
“You wanna know what I’m scared of? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared to move, I’m scared to breathe.”
“What does it matter if I say it? It’s not going to change it. It’s not going to make me good.”
“You are not your father.”
“A man with charm is a very dangerous thing.”
“I think he’s lonely. Lonelier than he lets on. Maybe lonelier than he realises.”
“Rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony.”
“Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?”
“I hope you’re proud of me, dad.”
“Me? Sarcastic? Never!”
“Hands up if your dad sucks”
“My sisters. My responsibility.”
“He’s a badass with a good heart. Soft, but strong. Unapologetic and honest. He’s the type of many you go to war beside, not against.”
“Because I’m the big brother. I’m sorry I wasn’t better at it, until now.”
“There’s a special place in Hell, reserved just for me. It’s called the throne.”
“Always protect her.”
“A gentleman takes actions when others are too scared to do so.”
“Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card. How you leave others feeling after having an experience with you becomes your trademark.”
“Rebellion is the only thing that keeps you alive.”
“Haven’t eaten much lately, not getting enough sleep, constantly horny and mentally unstable.”
“You can’t protect everyone.”
“I have to try.”
“The Devil is and always will be, a Gentleman.”
“I’m a bad influence, but damn I’m fun.”
“I am not who I was.”
“That sounds illegal, I’m in!”
“Original family disappointment.”
“Feel like making a deal with the Devil.”
“A king with no crown.”
“You don’t understand. It’s not that he can’t love… it’s that he’s afraid.”
“Him! Ah, there he is, that motherfucker. What a tool!”
“There’s still light in him.”
“I stopped being a kid the day you sent me down here to die.”
“I’m a reckless mistake. I’m a cold night’s intake. I’m a one night too long. I’m a come on too strong.”
“I don’t like what I’m becoming.”
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alixofagnia · 4 years
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OpheThorn III: Back to Rambling
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The Memory of Babel…Wow.
If nothing else, this book GOES. We’re dropped onto Babel just as lost, bewildered, and determined as Ophelia to get to the bottom of this ark. Boy, was it worth the wait! Babel is exquisitely written and, incredible as it sounds, even more treacherous than the Pole. The backbone Ophelia shows in this book is awesome! I love that she’s taken the measure of her worth—all the things she’s been through and survived in the previous novels—and come out resilient As Fuck. This book is definitely a penultimate novel. Dazzling as it is, much of it feels like groundwork being laid for the finale.
OpheThorn is less nuanced and ambiguous in Babel. While I feel there’s less to analyze, I do really love this pairing and I like writing about their dynamic. So, I’m just going to put my thoughts down and see what comes up!
[There will be spoilers]
[All fanart images credited to @patricialyfoung​]
Intro
One of the things that drew me into The Mirror Visitor series is the relationship between Ophelia and Thorn. Theirs is not a traditional love story at all; in fact, it avoids clichés and instead plays about with two romantic tropes: enemies to lovers and marriage of convenience. The series spins these tropes anew by offering subtle signs of attraction (discussed here) and giving both characters antisocial tendencies, as well as—in Thorn’s case—possible ASD traits (discussed here).
When we left these two in Clairdelune, Thorn had just put his feelings on the table. Before she could give her response, however, they were separated under upsetting, even traumatic circumstances. Years later, we meet Ophelia again…
Ophelia
…and, oh dear, she is in a sorry state indeed. We find her disastrously operating a waffle stand during a kooky Animist festival for, of all things, clocks. Just what the girl pining for Thorn needs, right? All is not well with Ophelia. As Aunt Rosaline points out,
“No, you’re not fine. You don’t go out anymore, you eat any old thing, you sleep at any old time. You haven’t even been back to the museum.” [19]
Although her mother, sister, and to an extent Aunt Rosaline all believe Ophelia is wasting away, shutting herself in her room, she’s actually been quite busy. She’s been studying and developing working hypotheses about God and the Other: where they are, there she’ll find Thorn. She’s convinced of it. Working from obscure clues dropped in Clairdelune, Ophelia settles on Babel as the ark most likely to yield some answers, and when the chance to travel there appears, she wastes no time at all.
She. Is. Going.
Thorn
In Babel, Thorn has made a name for himself as Sir Henry, rising to become a Lord of LUX, the gatekeepers of Babel who serve a similar function to that of the Doyennes on Anima. He is commanding, magnetic, and aloof as ever. It is unsurprising to find that he has been playing close to the fire again. But the stress and tension of his investigative life on Babel is certainly heightened in a way that it wasn’t at the Pole. 
We also learn that his nickname in Babel is the Automaton due to his unceasing energy. Thorn, thus, has dealt with the separation by predictably burying himself in work.
The Reunion
To Ophelia’s disappointment, the reunion with Thorn does not go quite as she had envisioned, and that’s because she hadn’t really envisioned past the goal of finding him [203]. Ophelia is very much a character who takes things one at a time as she’s confronted by them. When Thorn seems less than pleased to see her, she must consider all these Troublesome Feelings and why his underwhelming reaction upsets her.
The thing is Ophelia is waiting for Thorn to take the lead. But he already did, and she didn’t follow—at least, not in a way that he could understand. As previously discussed, Thorn does not function well with non-verbal cues. He needs to be explicitly told how someone else feels, or how he is making someone else feel, in order to know when to adjust his behavior. That can be quite flustering, especially for someone like Ophelia who struggles to vocalize her feelings exactly as they are.
“Is that it?” Ophelia murmured. “You have nothing more to say to me?”
 “I have, actually,” Thorn muttered, not stopping all his connecting. […] “And you?” he finally asked, in turn. “You have nothing more to say to me?” [263]
She doesn’t. Thorn coldly dismisses her and continues to keep her at arm’s length, especially when he gives her a second chance to confess her feelings and she still refuses to take it. 
Ophelia has social anxiety. She’s not exactly shy, she just gets tongue-tied and befuddled sometimes. It’s part of her make-up, but it doesn’t just happen around Thorn—there are plenty of instances where she has trouble expressing herself to those she cares about, such as Ambrose and Blaise in this novel, or Fox in Clairdelune. She even struggles to express basic gratitude toward Aunt Rosaline in Promise. Unlike them, Thorn challenges her to uncomfortable levels. Her feelings for him are complex and utterly foreign; she has no idea what to do about them. 
Unfortunately, Thorn is fresh out of fucks to give over her see-saw act. He’s well-past this stage of confusion and cowardice she’s experiencing because he’s been in love with Ophelia since Promise (“I’m starting to get used to you”) and dealt with the ramifications of that in Clairdelune (“I don’t give a damn whether people find me suspect, as long as I am not so in your eyes.”). 
Thorn does nothing half-heartedly. In no uncertain terms, he left her with the bluntest of blunt confessions (“By the way, I love you.”), which was a milestone in his emotional growth. It is clear that he does not love frivolously or casually in the way of his foil, Archibald, so for him, nothing has changed in three years. Likely, he thinks this should be obvious to Ophelia, and it probably should be at this point. He’s done all he can, after all, what more can she want? From his perspective, it’s Ophelia’s turn to make a move, not his.
Ophelia, though, functions differently. She has always needed verbal reinforcement and reassurance. That need has been heightened by their long separation. Essentially, they’re out of touch with one another and, in Ophelia’s case, she’s completely out of touch with herself, which is why when prompted by Thorn she doesn’t provide an answer, even though there could be only one reason for her going to Babel. Things finally come to a head when Thorn loses all patience and replaces her as his assistant. Ophelia is pissed.
“You weren’t available. Waiting for you would have slowed me down in my research.”
“Slowed you down? For your information, I was also doing research of my own. It might interest you to learn…”
“Of your own, that’s precisely the problem,” he interrupted her. “I advised you never to leave your division, and you were supposed to warn me if you discovered anything new. Nothing has changed, you still always make your decisions alone.”
“I wanted to help you,” Ophelia hissed, through gritted teeth.
“I don’t want any of your finer feelings. I need efficiency. If you don’t mind, I now have a flight to take.”
Ophelia’s blood ignited in her every vein. “You’re an egoist.” She had wanted to anger Thorn, and she knew, by the way he had frozen on the spot, that she had succeeded. All the shadows of the night suddenly seemed to  have been drawn to the center of his face. He threw Ophelia a look so hard, she reeled from its impact.
“I am demanding, a killjoy, obsessive, antisocial, and crippled,” he intoned, in a forbidding voice. “You can put all the defects in the world on me, but I will not permit you to call me an egoist. If you prefer to do things your way, go ahead, but don’t waste my time anymore. Our collaboration is over.” [305]
OMG, this is harsh. But it’s the kick in the ass Ophelia needs. Since taking up a secret identity as Eulalia and aspiring to become a Forerunner (essentially a scholar and a scribe), she’s already been confronted by the fact that she’s not as good a researcher as she’s prided herself on. Now, she’s being confronted by the suggestion that she’s not a very good partner, either. It leaves her feeling “drier than dust.” [321]
I think it’s interesting how Thorn’s dialogue here has a double meaning. He’s talking about their partnership as an investigative team, of course. But it just as easily applies to their personal relationship. He can’t keep waiting around for Ophelia to make up her mind. He’s got a God to hunt down, an Other to face. Having to wonder about where he stands with Ophelia is getting to be too much. By once again haranguing off on her own, Ophelia has made it plain to him that she prefers to do things without him. In his eyes, she’s pushing him away.
Eventually, she is able to see this perspective and she is ashamed to realize how badly she’s held Thorn to a double standard. He gave of himself through words and gestures as far as he was able, while she gave him nothing in return. Finally, FINALLY, Ophelia fully expresses her love for Thorn and, as he once did, asks him to forgive her shortcomings. It’s a very sweet scene, I must say.  
Now, to go back for a moment, what’s really gutting about Ophelia calling Thorn an egoist is this:
“God said he would keep his eyes on you,” he muttered, in a choked voice. “Right in front of me. I make a lamentable husband, but I permit no one, particularly him, to persecute my wife. It’s impossible for me to tear you away from God, but I can tear him away from you. If a book exists that contains God’s secret, and allows his invulnerability to be punctured, I will find it.” [392]
For context, Ophelia had admonished Thorn for his dogged pursuit of this quest, expressing outrage that he should be doing this for a world that’s done nothing for him. At one time, yes, Thorn may have been acting in the interest of the world. Then, he met Ophelia (who is too curious for her own good) and he met God. God threatened her, and Thorn is not a man who could allow such a thing to go unpunished, no matter the consequence. Ever since they met—through every consideration, every move in this impossible investigation and despite each rejection from her—he’s been acting out of love for Ophelia. 
As Thorn said, he is not an egoist.
The Blind Spot
After their “egoist” argument, Ophelia feels instant regret and tries to stop Thorn from walking away. She doesn’t succeed, however, because she is struck by his claws. At first, she believes he may have done this on purpose, the thought of which really scares her because it indicates that Thorn is absolutely done with her.
Later, after she finally makes her confession, we all learn that, in fact, Thorn has lost a bit of control over his family power. He has no idea that he used his claws on Ophelia. I’m a little bit unsure what caused this vulnerability—I don’t really follow the given reason, so I’m wondering if Thorn doesn’t quite know himself why this has come to be.
My theory is more euphemistic. Ophelia had reached out to touch his turned back and the gesture badly startled him. He overreacts then overcorrects, and they both take a memorable tumble. Thorn explains:
“Never again accost me from behind my back or from any of my blind spots. Don’t do any movement that I can’t see coming in advance, or then warn me out loud.” [389]
He further explains that he can retain control as long as his claws don’t perceive her as a threat and asks her not to be absent-minded with him. I think it’s entirely plausible that his control over his Dragon power has weakened due to his deep emotion regarding Ophelia. I also feel that this speaks closely to their recent conflict as well as Thorn’s coding as autistic. It’s like Thorn is saying, “No more hide and seek. No more games. Tell me straight, or not at all.”
Ophelia knows how deep his passions run. She once held his dice and thought she might die under the weight and intensity of his emotions. Perhaps it is her Animism that has wrought this change in him. Perhaps it is simply her existence. Either way, she can no longer afford to be careless when it comes to Thorn’s feelings. In the final chapter, Ophelia and Thorn have a true heart to heart, reaffirming their partnership. But Thorn has something to add.
“No half-measures,” he interrupted her. “I’m not and do not wish to be your friend.” [445]
What he leaves unspoken is that he wants to be her husband, in every version of the role: Partner. Protector. Lover. Now that Ophelia has given him an answer, Thorn is comfortable leading them forward and it is the role of lover that he specifically has in mind. Considering this is probably the first time he’s ever propositioned a woman for sex, he is understandably quite awkward. Ophelia quickly realizes that she’s added to his inner turmoil by repressing her own sexuality around him and inadvertently making him feel less than attractive. She also understands that she, too, wants to be his wife in every version of that role: Partner. Protector. Lover. What follows is a really beautiful expression of honest acceptance and true value.
Desire
My dudes, our girl is constantly at risk of exploding (or maybe imploding?) with desire in this book. It’s consuming her, emptying her, and driving every atom of her being. Look at this!
Ophelia had received no news from Thorn after his escape. Not a single telegram, not a single letter. She could keep telling herself that he couldn’t run the risk of making contact, that he was a man wanted by the law, perhaps by God himself, but it was eating her up inside. [22]
Whenever she crossed a man who was a bit taller than average, she couldn’t stop herself from looking back as she passed, with a frantic pounding in her chest. [83]
Ophelia would have recognized his voice out of a thousand. The resonance of a double bass, solemn and sullen, that echoed through her inner emptiness, shook her to the core, welled up to her throat, choked her. [240]
She waited until her heartbeat, taxed by the run, had returned to normal. But it didn’t happen. Her entire flesh seemed to be pulsating to a single chaotic rhythm. This evening, she would see Thorn again. [249]
She wanted to be with Thorn right there, right now. She’d wanted that every second of every minute of every hour, for almost three years. [249]
Although she knew the temperature of this place was strictly maintained at minus eight degrees, Ophelia felt as if it were fifteen degrees warmer. Never in her life had she cared about appearances, and yet she ran a nervous hand through her hair to tidy it up. [253]
She suddenly realized that there wasn’t much she would have refused him, had he but asked. [278]
Instead, he disinfected his hands for a second time, as if they really were repulsive. They weren’t in Ophelia’s eyes. From a distance, she took in the network of veins under the skin, the long, curved fingers, the bone that          rose up on each wrist, and suddenly, she felt something like pain in the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t the slightest idea what was happening to her, but looking at those hands made her want to scream. [283]
She felt it again, even more violently, this urgent call from deep inside her. [446]
Ophelia is so horny and I’m so here for it!
Closing Thoughts
Do I think Ophelia’s internal conflict over Thorn is drawn out? Yes. 
Do I think it’s contrived? No.
I think it falls in line with Ophelia’s characterization and I think Thorn’s frosty reaction to her presence in Babel falls in line with his characterization. These characters aren’t perfect: Ophelia is quirky and endearing, but that doesn’t make her immune to cowardice; Thorn is highly skilled and competent but is deficient socially and sometimes emotionally. I can’t emphasize enough how well Christelle Dabos knows her characters and allows them to be who they are rather than force them to make weird changes to fill plot holes.  
We can’t forget, either, the fact that they have been completely cut off from one another for years. Yes, we might think in that time Ophelia could have done more to sort out her feelings. But as we’ve seen, she just doesn’t focus on more than what she can handle at a time. She always thinks in terms of breaking a problem down into steps. The first step was following up on those clues from Claridelune. The second step was finding Thorn. The last step was dealing with herself. 
Their relationship here, which has progressed in a way that felt natural and believable, is the most straightforward it has ever been. That made writing about them this time around kind of hard, actually, because it’s all plainly there in the text. For me, I think the notable takeaway is being able to mark just how far these two characters have come in their individual and mutual journeys. Now and together, they can tackle the gargantuan, perilous task ahead. It might all end on a bittersweet note. But for this couple…that seems about right, and I can’t wait to read the conclusion.
Thank you so much for reading these long posts and leaving such kind feedback! I’m glad that you, too, enjoy Ophelia, Thorn, and this magical series. 
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stupid-stew · 3 years
Text
character names keep me alive, toh is my lifeblood.
i am literally obsessed and this show really does provide (i still have to add more smh my head dana terrace why do you do this to me jk i love it so much please never stop) COPY AND PASTED FROM DOC UNDER BREAK
NAMES INCLUDED:
FIRST NAME
LILITH
EDA
LUZ
KING
WILLOW
GUS
ASSORTED BLIGHTS
LAST NAME
BLIGHT
CLAWTHORNE
NOCEDA
PORTER
PARK
BUMP
MISCELLANEOUS
BELOS
HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA
ADEGAST
HOOTY
OWLBERT
KIKIMORA
GWENDOLYN
RAYNE
NOTE EVERYTHING BEFORE GWENDOLYN AS OF 6/24/21 WRITTEN WITHOUT SEASON 2 KNOWLEDGE, TO BE REVISED, REVISIONS IN BOLD!
Hello and welcome to the ramblings of a mad man. Before we get into it I think you should note that I do write like I talk because I think like a talk and I write how I think, so if you are confused as to why it sounds like i’m not making sense its because I'm not making sense also my capitalization and punctuation suck so sorry about that but we don’t have time for technicalities in this house. TO ADVENTURE!
FIRST NAME
LILITH
EDA
LUZ
KING
WILLOW
GUS
ASSORTED BLIGHTS
LAST NAME
BLIGHT
CLAWTHORNE
NOCEDA
PORTER
PARK
BUMP
MISCELLANEOUS
BELOS
HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA
ADEGAST
HOOTY
OWLBERT
KIKIMORA
GWENDOLYN
RAYNE
GILBERT
FIRST NAME
LILITH
Ok so because I'm lilith’s bitch we are gonna start with her because her name is so cool and I love her and we should be besties Lilith hmu. Anyways as most people know Lilith is a pre existing mythological character which makes this very much good because that means it’s all outlined. Most people know her as a demonic figure, which I very much dig but similar to our lovely queen of curses out here, that's not all she is. There isn’t going to be a chronological explanation of similarities and conclusions, cope. The basic gist is that Lilith was this chick with fiery red hair (this is important iykyk) who refused to be beneath or below adam, more specifically to subjugate to him, funny because of the tapestry with belos what says subjugation on it, probably a coincidence but I do not believe in coincidence right now. Anyways basically she runs off and becomes this chick who like snatches children and will make them sick if they don’t have an amulet with the names Senoy, Sansenoy, or Semangelof on them, thats a different story but what I find interesting is this one passage,
“(12) Her nobles shall be no more, nor shall kings be proclaimed there; all her princes are gone. (13) Her castles shall be overgrown with thorns, her fortresses with thistles and briers. She shall become an abode for jackals and a haunt for ostriches. (14) Wildcats shall meet with desert beasts, satyrs shall call to one another; There shall the Lilith repose, and find for herself a place to rest. (15) There the hoot owl shall nest and lay eggs, hatch them out and gather them in her shadow; There shall the kites assemble, none shall be missing its mate. (16) Look in the book of the LORD and read: No one of these shall be lacking, For the mouth of the LORD has ordered it, and His spirit shall gather them there. (17) It is He who casts the lot for them, and with His hands He marks off their shares of her; They shall possess her forever, and dwell there from generation to generation.”
And there are separate part of this that I find relevant, especially the description of the location, i’m not all that familiar with symbolism of animals in religious texts, so i’m gonna take it at face value and say that this is more or less a description that could be given to the physical owl house itself, sort of a place for people who don’t fit in, its a little messy and I guess one could say overgrown, but it’s a place for anyone, a place to rest now hopefully for Lilith away from the coven, there shall the Lilith repose. On top of that we see the “the hoot owl…” and you’re probably thinking what that so crazy wacko because like why are they referring to Lilith as the hoot owl isn't Eda the owl lady, yes she is. That’s why the actual meanings of lilith’s name that come from her mythological depiction as a demon lady are so important. We have night monster, night owl, night spectre, vampires, night hag, night creature, nightjar (which is another kind of bird), and night bird, all of these seem to fit lilith’s dark aesthetic very nicely which is very good for her, but there are two other ones, hot owl and screech owl, which draw her closer to Edaand away from the coven and her depiction in the mid-later episodes of the show as a monster for cursing eda, but also the name night monster could come into play if while sharing the curse Lilith acquired some of its traits, similar to Ed aas the owl beast. Ultimately, we have this little red head girl who eventually fights back against the men who are attempting to get her to be under them, for the character that is belos, for the other Lilith that is adam, god, and his angels, and now hopefully both of them will find solace and repose among the owls in a place they never thought they’d belong. All this talk of owls and god brings us into the other clawthorne baddie:
Lilith did find her repose! I love her staying in the owl house, get it queen oh yuh.
EDA
For this I'm going to use her full name edalyn, because you know like that’s just how it be it is her name. There isn’t a wiki page for her name like there is for Lilith which makes this a little bit harder but the general consensus seems to be that it means something along the lines of “gift of god”, which I find very interesting. If you are going to name a child gift of god i’m assuming that you are referring to the child themselves, but I don’t think that really applies to eda. I’m not religious, but its my impression that someone who lies, cheats, pranks, and steals their way to the top and isn’t exactly the most responsible witch on the isles and might not be the best gift god could give. I do really love Eda though, her character flaws are still a part of her character, but I think this refers to her powers. Eda considers herself to be the boiling isles gift to magic, which I mean like, have you seen the woman. In agony of a witch we see her at what probably 30% of her power with how much the curse was already tolling on her and how much magic she was probably using to fight it off, and like goddamn. She was almost beating lilith, definitely beating the shit out of her, but she was almost defeating Lilith who was at her full power, and that is just a fraction of what she used to be able to do. Her powers were a gift of god, and I think that the loss of them will greatly affect her. She’s already admitted that she doesn’t know how to do much without her magic, and I think going straight from the second most powerful witch on this isles to having no power at all is going to be incredibly taxing on her, physically and mentally.
Luckily for her the name edalyn also means patience, another thing about her name is that it not only means gift of god, but also similar things like gifted by the gods or even goddess, and this draws a connection to Lilith who is named after a demonic figure, casted out for having defied god, they are quite literally polar opposites on the name spectrum, and we see that a lot in the show, they are completely different people, I mean have you looked at them they don’t even look related, but the funnier thing is that their personalities do the same thing. You’d expect Edain her youth to be a gift from the devil, just ask principal bump, and Lilith seemed to be a goody two shoes who worked her ass off, their names could be switched based off their characters alone.
A random baby name site I found said that :
“Persons with the name edalyn are usually highly flexible and well equipped to making and accepting change throughout their life. They always seek excitement and are sometimes a bit of a risk taker. They are imaginative, and often, through their unconventional way of thinking, are naturally able to solve complex problems with ease. They are quick thinkers and observers who are clever, analytical and versatile”
Which I mean like very much applies to eda, she takes change like a champ, either genuinely or by pretending she’s ok with everything, and is always seeking excitement. Like literally all of the time. Always. I think she takes felonies as a compliment, and one of the biggest changes in her life that she genuinely was able to adapt to and appreciate was
OH MY GOD HER LEARNING THE NEW GLYPHS WAS SO CUUUUTTTEEE, I love her being able to adapt, she really is doing well. As the beginning of separate tides shows, she’s working around it, and is doing a damn good job, living up to her name.
LUZ
Ok I think at this point everyone knows that at this point the name Luz means light, and if you didn't, oopsies now you do. The character Luz was named and designed after a real life person the miss dana terrace knew at the time she was starting to really think about the show, Luz ’s personalty comes more from dana herself and we love that, but the character has really started to grow into her name. This is made most obvious when the first spell Luz learns is the light glyph, not only coming into her own as a witch, but also starting to live up to her name, which along with light also has to do with “Our Lady of Light”, which is the virgin mary, fitting her right in with the other biblical names we got going on here. I really want to stress that I know next to zero about religion, and all of the connections I am making come from wikipedia, so bare with me here. But most of the time mary seems to be this pure, saint like figure, which I think is what a lot of people see Luz as, especially on the isles. I’m going to flat out say that this is in no way meant to pass off Luz as simple minded, pure, or oblivious, because we have seen what that girl is willing to do, she faced death and poked him in the with an ice cicle. In terms of life on the isles, however, she is more or less pure and sheltered, she’s completely new to the world she’s in, but she does quickly adapt, and shows more of her strong side, and remains a good person throughout all of it, taking losses as they come, and not letting them remain losses at the same time.
Back to the whole light thing, we already touched on the whole literal bit of her and the light spell, but can you think of a better way to describe Luz ? She literally brings light everywhere she goes, even Eda admits that she’s changed things for the better, for everyone around her too. Willow got a new friend, probably the first friend she’s had in a long time, and even got to begin repairing her relationship with amity, and got placed in the plant track so she could do the things she loves, all because of Luz . Edagot to grow as a person and a mentor, and finally got someone willing to accept all her eda-ness, unconditionally, someone to really care about that really cares about her back, all because of Luz . Amity got a friend who cares about her, not just her family name and money, someone who supports her and will do anything for her because she is her friend, and a bit of self discovery along the way for amity, all because of Luz . Not a single person on the isles who has had more than 2 minutes of interaction with Luz hasn’t had their lives improved, even belos got his portal, and the thing is that even characters who people might not even consider changed have been, characters such as
Luz my beloved, she seems a little bit less of a light this season, and i do mean little. That’s totally fine though, it’s expected, i didn’t want her to just be this bright shining star after the events of the last two episodes of season 1, and appreciate her going and starting to take the fantasy of the isles with more than just a grain of salt. Obviously like in escaping expulsion, she’s still trying her best to make everything better and make friends with everyone, but there’s something a little different about it and i’m here for it tbh.
KING
The name king itself is obvious, he is royalty, the king of demoNS HIMSELF ASMODEUS hahahaha pulled a sneaky on you now accept my ideas as your own. I am on a mythological name kick, deal with it. The most important thing here is in the bible, asmodeus poses himself as a false god, which I know is something we have all considered with king, that he might be a full on liar, not be a king of anything and is just your ordinary street demon, it’s even come up in the show with him calling himself the king of artists and Luz asking him if he was just making it up at this point. It’s a good theory, I can see it, and this could be used as proof. There is also another legend that paints him as a good natured dude, who eventually banishes the king by literally throwing him, and then he loses his powers and is banished, but this is also the same legend where he marries Lilith and that is not something I am down for. There is another text in which he tells the king (the same one he threw in the other one) that his kingdom will one day be divided and the king does not believe him, and this is the same text where he admits to hating water and birds because they remind him of god. Lets think class, who has the god name and is related to birds here? King’s name by itself holds true to his character, who (regardless of if it is truthful or not) holds himself as if he is a king, and he isn't the only one with a name like that, there is also
WILLOW
Ok I know we all thought it, willow, the plant girl, how fiendishly clever. This also happens to be the only descriptor for her name I could find, which is totally fine because I think it’s a very cute name and willow is also very cute. This means we get to go into the symbolism of the willow tree wwwooooOOOOO aren’t you so very excited I know I am. Its kind of interesting, willow trees seem to match the character, understanding, warm, a safe space really, but most of all the ability to let go of pain and suffering, sometimes outright ignore it, and move on. Willow does always say out of sight out of mind does she not? She is willing to ignore, even excuse people bullying her, be it bosha or even amity, and the moment she got the chance her inner willow decided to try and literally burn the painful memories she had, willing to cause damage just to forget. Willow as a character is very willing to move on like nothing happened most of the time, key word most because another thing about willows is the ability to grow from the pain. Before understanding willow, we never really saw willow stand up for herself until she really had to, but hy the end of the episode she is willing to tell amity that she isn’t willing to fully forgive her, but she’s willing to grow and try. Heck, we see this over the entire first season, we see this little girl who can barely pull it together long enough to stand up for herself grow into this amazing character willing to publicly oppose the emperor and break into his castle for her friend, she tried to full out attack Lilith when 19 episodes earlier she wasn’t able to stand up to amity for bullying her. And I am in no way calling willow weak, she never was, she just needed to find the ability to show everyone that she’s strong, god I love willow so much, you wanna know who else loves willow?
GUS
Gus, my main man, love you but for this we are gonna have to use the full on augustus sorry babes. The name augustus means majestic, or venerable, which while I must say that the illusion of kiki doing the worm was probably one of the most majestic things I have ever seen, I’m going to focus on venerable a bit more here. Venerable is a big word, it means “accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character.”, which for gus the age part might play a smaller part here, but he is good as what he does, Luz and willow both respect him, Eda Respects him, he’s this little dude who is younger than everyone and has to rely on his ability to succeed, not only with his power but with his personality. Gus seems to be confident in himself, communicating with everyone regardless of who they are or what power they hold, similarly to willow he was willing to do anything to help Luz , leading into the second description of venerable, “heroic in nature”. Now, you might be wondering, bestie where ever did you get that description, it totally wasn’t from a religious page okyesitwas but that's fine because being pronounced venerable guarantees a spot in heaven so get it bestie. Overall, the general meaning for augustus is that they are strong, respectable, and powerful, which takes us right into the
Gus, shawty, ily but please stop the obsession with death babes ur starting to scare me. I hope with the upcoming Gus content in TTLGR we will see more of him growing into his powers and such.
ASSORTED BLIGHTS
The blight first names bring me joy so I am putting amity last because I think its really funny, starting off with alador, the name alador evokes diplomacy, correctness, and confidence. We know zilch about alador, but if the vibes of the blight family have anything to say it’s definitely something along those lines. The name odalia means wealth, which I mean like have you seeeen blight manor? Also back at it again with the fact that it’s a variant of the name odilia, like the saint olilia which I don't have ties for you right now because again, we know nothing about her. Edric also means wealth, fortune, riches, powerful, you get the vibes, same thing with emira which means commander, or prince, princess, leader, or star. So you know like we have all these super powerful names happening, and then, oh boy and then we get to little miss perfect herself, amity blight. It means friendship, or harmony. If I was her I would be so mad at my parents like yall have these mad powerful names and I got stuck with friendship? Hand me the emancipation papers. You know what they say, friendship is the real magic (even if no longer taught in schools due to budget constraints). I hope that this leads more into season 2 with amity working on her friendships and ultimately her relationships in general, which we got a bit of already with her working on repairing her relationship with willow, and making the moves to cut off old toxic friendships and moving into more genuine ones with willow, Luz , and gus. I guess you could say that the only thing ALL the blights have in common with each other is their
They are rich assholes, alador is a little wacko, odalia is hot asf dana seriously what the hell man that was out of pocket. The only thing about alador that lives up to his name is his money, odalia seems more obsessed with image and money, and i too am obsessed with her image literally boy what the hell boy.
LAST NAME
BLIGHT
The word blight by itself means a plant disease which boy oh boy can you believe how nicely that fits into amity bullying willow because I sure can. Outside of just the plant bit it overall just means like something that damages another thing, and this works beautifully for each member of the family. The parents are damaging their children, the twins just causing general damage, and amity and her goddamn relationships, but fortunately that whole plant thing brings us into the next couple of last names
CLAWTHORNE
The last name clawthorne means “cold or exposed thorn tree” which had me kind of like what the heck so I went off and had some fun and got you some presents that I think are funny, so there was this guy right, his name was joseph clawthorne, and he created the term whiffenpoof, which is the name for a wildly fictitious animal, things like a jackalope, or even a griffin with spider breath, though I guess that would be the work of a
NOCEDA
Back again with the trees good lord, it means field of nut trees, so again I went into prominent people an found this guy named jorge noceda sanchez, he was a painter and some of his works are kinda baller actually it seems like something that would fit in on the isles, but also not all of the names have a deeper meanings, names like
PORTER
Ok I am like pretty sure this was just meant to be a play on the fact that gus’ dad’s name is perry and is a reporter, get it, perry porter, perry porter, reporter, but nonetheless I did some digging because why the heck not, it means doorkeeper, or gate keeper, someone who guards something like an important building, which honestly I think this would be a good last name for hooty if he ever gets one, but again not all of these are important names at the moment, or maybe they won't ever be at all, names like
PARK
At first I was kinda like l m a o willow park plant girl hahahahah plants in the park parks have trees willow is a tree but then I remembered that someone pointed out that park is a traditionally korean surname and then like a week later disney posted about it for aisian pacific american heritage month which kind of confirmed it, and I don’t know if the whole intention behind it was to establish willow as representation or not, but the surname park by itself means gourd and willow I am so sorry that is so unfortunate LMAOSIFN
BUMP
To be honest I was not expecting bump to have a last name that meant anything but it means swift walker and I think thats funny so you have to know it now
MISCELLANEOUS
BELOS
BIIIITCH LISTEN UPPPP there is a butt tone of mythology surrounding his name and its mostly a different form of it, belus, that is referenced, but same thing different shape. Most of his depiction is as a great king or ruler, in babylonian mythology being the equivalent of zeus of jupiter, which liiikkkkkeeeoajolnjojnkjakjavnjfvdfkjf but its fine everything is great its all ok most importantly, he is recognized as the god or ruler of war, and in that same mythology he lived in babylon, which “... was originally water, and called a sea. But Belus put an end to this, and assigned a district to each, and surrounded Babylon with a wall; and at the appointed time he disappeared.” and idk about you but the smell of him assigning a divide and disappearing smells sour like funky to me babes
HIERONYMUS AND BOSCHA
I am only putting this here because the fact that it’s totally a play on hieronymus bosch makes me cackle and you all have to know it thank you
ADEGAST
B-but brevyn he was only there for like one episode, yeah ok and? Radegast is the slavic god of hospitality, and there is no host like a host that pretends to take you on a mythical quest and then tries to eat you and your mentor and her deranged cat demon, ok? His name translates to “dear guest” or “welcomed guest” and I mean I think if my host tried to suck me into some fantasy would delusion i’d feel pretty welcomed
HOOTY
He is an owl
OWLBERT
He is also an owl
KIKIMORA
First and foremost, she is a little night gremlin who hates children and I think that really fits her, but she is also a little house demon, who is very difficult to get to leave, have we seen her outside the castle? Will she be a spy along with the mask next season? She also has a name that means nightmare or night demon, similar to a certain other night creature we might have heard of a while ago. She tried to strangle children and I love that for her,and she is described as a little old ugly messy haired lady and I feel like her current character has the personality of one so i’ll take it, but what really gets me is her villain origin story, which is that she "grows up with a magician in the mountains. From dawn to sunset the magician’s cat regales Kikimora with fantastic tales of ancient times and faraway places, as Kikimora rocks in a cradle made of crystal. It takes her seven years to reach maturity, by which time her head is no larger than a thimble and her body no wider than a strand of straw. Kikimora spins flax from dusk and to dawn, with evil intentions for the world.”
GWENDOLYN
Ok, the queen herself, haven’t met her yet but like who knows. Not really a whole lot here (my ears are ringing oops one sec ok i’m back hi) anyways um uh rings? Her name right off the bat has a lot to do with rings, and really that only applies to eda, because her ring was a big thing for her, she gave it to lilith, we all watched wing it like witches you know what’s up, but i mean like was that gwen’s ring? I really wanted the hand on eda’s wall to be gwen’s, very upset to see she has all of her body parts so far. I am also not sure if that’s how it’s spelled, but it means the same thing anyways. Also meaning fair or blessed, any woman who created both eda and lilith is probably mad powerful and we love to see it, also she’s a beastkeeper and i like i want to talk about that with eda’s curse but now is not the time for shenanigans (that’s a lie every time is the time for shenanigans i’m just exhausted)
RAYNE
Bitch, sorry, ok listen like um sidebar I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHARACTER AND YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW IT but also at this point i’m not really sure about this character, is this their name, is that even how it’s spelled, girl idfk but like whooptydooo I do what I want so cope. Right now, we are assuming that they are the new bard coven head character, and like let me tell you the way that I am fully pissing my pants atm like bestie, anyways, if spelled rayne, then it means counsel or song, and this is why, do you see why this is why we spell it like this? It’s also scandanavian which means like nothing but it’s cool. This spelling fits because like counsel, head of the bard coven, you get it it’s fine, and then song, also head of the bard coven, you know. It fits so well, especially since this is supposed to be a friend from eda’s past, and like is supposed to try and recruit eda for a rebellion against the emperor in the episode eda’s requiem, i cannot convey to you how goddamn excited I am like there are not enough words in this realm or any others to tell you how prepared i am for this character to rock my world.
GILBERT
I AM S O B B I N GGGGG apparently one of willow’s dad’s names is gilbert and that is literally so cute I cannot like actually this knowledge makes up for coronavirus anyways it means bright promise and idk what that even has to do with anything but I love it and you should to omg
Now i have to go update the other characters see you in hell <3
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hanadolphieron · 3 years
Text
HOGWARTS AU~
a/n- i do not support jk rowling. this is your (my beautiful, show-stopping, magnificent followers’) christmas gift and i hope she’s annoyed by the fact that a liberal pansexual and a lesbian fanfiction writer wrote a giant post centered around a universe she created ;)
another a/n- i hope all of my oomfies enjoy this, i spent an entire month writing it because i love you guys so much! you have made my year so much better!!!!!!!! big heart!
another another a/b- i started writing for ateez after i finished this, so that’s why they’re not on there. i would put them in, however i have written fifty-four of these and am a wee bit drained :)
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GRYFFINDOR~
colors; scarlet and gold
traits; bravery, daring, nerve, chivalry
element; fire
symbol; the lion
head of house; chungha
members; nayeon, chaeyoung, jisoo, yeji, ryujin, yuna, mia, sakura, yujin,  heejin, chaewon, chungha, winter, somi
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HUFFLEPUFF~
colors; yellow and black
traits; hard work, dedication, loyalty, patience, fair play
element; earth
symbol; the badger
head of house; haseul
members; sana, dahyun, rosé, lia, e:u, onda, chaeyeon, chaewon, nako, wonyoung, jinsoul, haseul, chuu, yeojin, giselle, ningning
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SLYTHERIN~
colors; emerald and silver
traits; ambition, leadership, self-preservation, cunning, resourcefulness
element; water
symbol; serpent
head of house; eunbi
members; jeongyeon,  momo, jihyo, jennie, sihyeon, eunbi, yena, minju, yves, olivia hye
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RAVENCLAW~
colors; blue and bronze
traits; intelligence, curiosity, knowledge, creativity, wit
element; air
symbol; eagle
head of house; mina
members; mina, tzuyu, lisa,  chaeryeong, aisha, yiren, hyewon, hitomi, yuri, vivi, kim lip, hyunjin, choerry, karina
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PROFILES~
<im nayeon>
nayeon is a prefect, of course, she used to be the head of house but chungha succeeded her after nayeon decided to focus more on her studies
headcannon that nayeon and chungha are are lowkey besties
they don’t talk much, but they respect each other and always like to have nice chats about the school
but other than her leadership roles, nayeon is like the older sister of the gryffindor house
sort of has no idea what’s going on sometimes but tries her best because everyone asks her for advice
cries at graduation because she loves hogwarts so much
ends up working at the ministry of magic
she’s so perfect help🥺
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<yoo jeongyeon>
definitely has a hufflepuff s/o
i refuse to believe anything else
is everyone’s crush, ryujin follows in her footsteps
is the slytherin seeker, probably flusters the other seekers because she’s intimidating but so gorgeous and charismatic
sorry for projecting my love of jeongyeon but i had to
is excellent at potions and has taught the class at some point
really enjoys hogwarts and takes advantage of all the fun magic it has to offer
is always in the library finding mystery books to read
dark, gothic academia hhhhh
snuck in two kittens along with her owl because she didn’t want to choose
nobody noticed because everyone’s too scared to go into the slytherin common room
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<hirai momo>
famous for bringing a whole ass snake as a pet instead of you know, the legal pets like toads, owls, and cats
starts a dance team
except everyone’s mildly terrified to join because she looks really intimidating
when in reality the only bad thing she’s ever done is stealing sana’s cat because she wanted something to cuddle
and when sana took her cat momo dragged sana over inside to snuggle
as a first year she cried in front of her class one time for some reason that her brain has forgotten to protect her because she freaked the fck out
because she was afraid of tarnishing her scary slytherin reputation
now, she’ll have a good swig of butterbeer and wipe a tear away over how good it tastes (because finals)
________________________
<minatazoki sana>
has most adorable cat, like seriously it’s almost as cute as her🥺
gets drunk on butterbeer constantly
it’s becoming a slight issue
but it’s hard for anyone to stop her, as she works part-time at the three broomsticks and will make you pay more taxes if you annoy her
acts like a slytherin sometimes
because she’s good at everything the slytherin’s do
but sana’s a true hufflepuff at heart, she’s always looking to make people smile
her pranks are always to create a good atmosphere, not to aggravate people
makes hand-made scarves for everyone at christmas
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<park jihyo>
thought she was a gryffindor her entire life
and then the sorting cat called out “slytherin” the second it touched her head
jihyo went 👁👄👁
but she ended up loving her house, and fit right in with her new friends
hates all the cats but they cling to her for spite
(she highkey actually adores them)
LOUD because she’s obsessed with quidditch
like seriously, obsessed, she will never shut up about the chudley cannons (i hope that’s their name) and will talk your ear off for hours just chatting about one game
sits in the library for peace and quiet, but sighs constantly and keeps getting glared at
couldn’t care less though, she needs deep breaths to sustain her sanity
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<myoui mina>
everyone loves her!
she’s one of those people you bring up in conversation just to compliment? because she’s so respectable and wholesome and nice and beautiful and perfect?
leads ravenclaw so well :(
will stay up all night helping younger kids with their classes or subjects that they’re wildly interested in
makes quizlets for everything, her account lags because so many people are using it at one time
goes into the forest at night and dances as a way to relieve stress (we love an aesthetic queen)
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<kim dahyun>
gets into trouble so much 
will risk her education to make people laugh
everyone respects her for it, even the teachers, so she never has many consequences because everyone needs some laughter in their lives
a beater for hufflepuff we love to see it
painted her bat like a badger and calls it tommy
has fallen off her broom more than once because she gets really distracted
the only class she truly focuses on is transfiguration
she loves it for some weird reason and does extra lessons with professor mcgonagall
no one questions it though, because she’s kim dahyun
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<son chaeyoung>
the one who comforts everyone in gryffindor
sometimes expectations to be brave and self-assured can be too much for her fellow house-mates, so chaeyoung takes the role of making them feel safe and helping them relax
the expert at caring for the cats
something about her makes them flock around her feet
they’re always swarming around her feet
one time she actually tripped over one them and broke her shin
but luckily, professor sprout (aka her best friend) helped her through it with some medicinal herbs and long conversations about plants
always wearing comfy clothes
wears a scarf in the dorms for some reason
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<chou tzuyu>
has the prettiest owl to ever exist
and its eyes match up perfectly with hers
everyone has a headcannon that they’re actually twins 
which would entail that tzuyu was born a bird but somehow turned into a human
but no one really dwells on that
caught mina when she was dancing in the forest at night
but vowed never to tell anyone
and now mina invites her to come watch and dance herself
tzuyu actually drew her one time and mina just about melted of embarrassment and  pride and happiness because tzuyu? just drew a picture of her? and it makes her feel so cool and magical?
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<kim jisoo>
empress cat (along with hyunjin and chaeyoung)
those three have the sweetest relationship, you can always find them cooing about the cats together (while holding the cats themselves)
has an obsession with the whomping willow
always sits next to it after she managed to tame it 
reads and does her studies there
is undisturbed and loves it
knows all the staircases for some reason, like has given them names and nobody knows how she’s memorized them all
but if you’re ever lost, jisoo will appear out of nowhere to help
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<kim jennie>
somehow manages to make time for everything
spends most of her time in the library, but also excels at quidditch? and makes it to all of the practices? like jennie stop being so talented (but please don’t we love it)
everyone’s like what an ambitious slytherin smh
cast her patronus on the first try
and screamed because she had a snow leopard! and they’re so adorable!
probably started crying just being honest
intimidates everyone but is a huge softie
has a close-knit group of friends
reminds me of a wolf? for some reason
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<park chaeyoung>
a master at quidditch!
plays chaser on the hufflepuff team and is the captain as well
along with those leader positions, chaeyoung is also prefect
basically, she loves to p r o t e c t
what a hufflepuff smh
laughs so much it’s worrying, you can always hear her giggling throughout the halls of hogwarts
brought a frog
does not regret it at all, she loves zucchini (the frog) with all her heart
keeps it in her jacket pocket
ribbiting noises erupt in the middle of class
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<lalisa monoban>
a beater for gryffinor i mean what were you expecting
was the first person to join momo’s dance team
which scared even more people away (youth with you anyone?)
but lisa is still so sweet, always helping people out
smiles at every single person she passes
her cheeks hurt by the end of the day, partly because of what i just mentioned and partly because rose makes her laugh so much
chases all the cats around
they act tormented but when have cats ever been honest when they like something a human is doing for them
they need the exercise, rose feeds them too much
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<hwang yeji>
looks like a slytherin because of her eyes
but is a true gryffindor at heart, always being brave and kind to her friends and standing up for everyone
almost all of her friends are in gryffindor :) except for lia, who is arguably the most chaotic but stops them from doing anything too dumb
and chaeryeong, who helps more with the excitement management
yeji is a chaser on the gryffindor quidditch team (we been knew) and scores so much the point keeper (?) loses count
definitely has a cat
who snuggles with her in the common room and everyone wants to cry over how cute they both are
everyone talks about how she looks like her cat ;0
is pretty popular, although she’s still so humble
________________________
<choi jisu>
gosh this ADORABLE HUFFLEPUFF
will tackle you if you wrong her, her friends, her plants, or steal her food
got lost on her first day and missed the whole day of classes
was so embarrassed and probably cried poor jisu
but haseul to the rescue! came and comforted her, we love a supportive hufflepuff family
daydreams all the time
professor sprout (is that her name i haven’t read these books in a while) is her best friend and she eats lunch with her sometimes🥺
all the teacher’s love her
except she’s pretty quiet in class, except for her maniacal laughing at chaeryeong sometimes
her and chae are The Best Friends TM
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<shin ryujin>
everyone’s crush who are we kidding (fboi ryu)
a beater, always protects yeji and she loves it, always getting flustered over ryujin
even though ryu’s been doing it for years (however the winks she throws in yeji’s directions would make anyone falter)
the best in class at defense against the dark arts 
got her patronus, a black bear, within a few minutes after learning the lesson
and everyone was like 👀 but honestly not that surprised, because come on it’s shin ryujin herself!
shows off her skills (in everything she attempts) all the time and everyone loves it
in general very well liked, her vibe is so comforting and realistic, and she always says the rights things
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<lee chaeryeong>
patronus = ostrich
chae was so annoyed with this honestly, i mean she’s trying to be this cool light academia ravenclaw and her patronus is an ostrich...
like really. really.
everyone laughed at her disappointing patronus, but chaeryeong didn’t care, she was actually beginning to love its uniqueness
throughout the school, chae is known for her adorably caring personality akin to a hufflepuff along with her wisdom
she helps everyone :(
friends with everyone despite being introverted
probably eats lunch with professor flitwick
she’s just too nice
her aesthetic, as i said, is light academia and she pulls it off so well
organizes all the chants at quidditch games
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<shin yuna>
fred and george but one person
the gryffindor common room is in absolute chaos whenever she’s present
her laugh is contagious and can be heard all throughout the dorms, creating a beautiful sense of togetherness and happiness
keeps everyone’s faith in humanity
the loudest at al the quidditch games
teases her friends 100% of the time but will always hug and comfort them when they’re down
can make anyone smile within a few seconds
hangs out in the kitchen
terrorizes all her dormmates cats
they still sleep with her at night though, her bed is covered in cat fur
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<park jiwon>
spends all of her time in the kitchens
her friends are always begging her to bring food back to the common rooms
and she normally does
in fact, she bakes pastries or cooks something for them most of the time because she’s sweet like that
ran into a painting one time and got yelled at by the person in it
it was the sole most terrifying experience in her life
she almost fell down the stairs
now, she’s actually friends with the people in the painting
and they have (maybe) forgiven her for smacking into their tea table and ruining their lunch
 (which they’ve been eating for years but jiwon did not mention that)
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<kim sihyeon>
on the quidditch team
changes positions every single year for some reason (she’s such an ace)
because she has BIG TALENT
loves being a seeker the most (obviously, because she gets all the glory and she’s a leo with a scorpio mars)
has a black cat with the exact same personality as her
one time it ate her ramen and boy was she mad
but the cat, who was named orange (despite not being orange) really liked the noodles
so jiwon convinced sihyeon to let her make feline-friendly noodles for the cat
which sihyeon agreed to
because seeing orange slurp up a bowl of noodles really makes her day
________________________ 
<han eunji>
is professor mcgonagall’s child
i mean not literally, but still
eunji has been taken under her wing
in fact, she actually taught mia how to be a metamorphmagus
eunji managed to turn into a badger
which wasn’t exactly enjoyable at first, since being a badger doesn’t have many benefits other than being able to dig a hole faster than anybody you know
however, eunji used her badger form as a way to relax, because she could escape from all her problems by turning into a woodland animal and going to take a comfy nap in some flowers
her friends were ecstatic when she told them she had become a badger
e:u immediately made her morph into said animal so she could give mia a hug because fluffy
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<jo serim>
accompanies jiwon to the kitchen most days and prevents her from getting bored with her antics
these “antics” involve things like crouching on the counter next to jiwon and crunching down on carrots
to which jiwon just shakes her head and pulls the carrot right out of her mouth 
loves the toads! she has a speckled one and treasures it with all her heart
steals jiwon’s pastries to feed to them
serim is also always in different places
she’s completely unpredictable, moving all around the school throughout the day
you can’t find her in the same place twice (except for the kitchens)
everyone thinks she’s part fairy because of this and her compassion
________________________ 
<heo yoorim>
spends all her time daydreaming while looking up at the sky from the observatory
i don’t blame her, it does have an exquisite view and even sports a bunch of cushions and blankets on the floor for the sole purpose of taking naps in the sun like a cat
anyways, yoorim is lost in her head most of the time
but always takes a trip back to reality during the day, where’s spotted encouraging her friends 24/7
and laughing nonstop at them
(especially sihyeon)
because while she’s a ravenclaw, loved ones are the most important things in her life
________________________ 
<wang yiren>
joins aisha in her imagining sprees up in the observatory
but gets bored and leaves to go sneak into the slytherin common rooms because she wants to spot the giant squid
who she has made friends with from her constant trips to see it
its name is jerry, for anyone who’s wondering
the slytherins have adopted her as one of their one
and yiren takes great pride in it
because she now has a massive posse of people ready to protect her from anyone who would dare to make her sad
________________________
<kwon eunbi>
keeps everyone in line because she finds everyone annoying
collapses on the sofa at the end of the day
probably snores
has the best self confidence of the whole school
i mean some of it is because she wants to be a good role model, but she really just doesn’t care at this point
her owl would rip any enemies to shreds
because it is pretty fearsome, even if it’s the smallest one professor mcgonagall has ever seen
and she’s seen a lot
probably a tutor ngl
________________________
<miyawaki sakura>
the most passionate gryffindor you’ll ever meet
sakura definitely makes a name for herself cheering at all the quidditch games
and with the fact that she won the triwizard tournament!
keeps the cup in the gyrffindor common rooms
because she sees it as something the house should be proud of, not just sakura
so sweet i can not with her
actually didn’t bring a pet and now regrets it
but she’s busy so she wouldn’t have time to care ofr it
but still
🥺cats🥺
________________________
<kang hyewon>
the seventh years surrounded her on her first day because of her “must protect” energy
and the fact that her toad escaped as soon as she came through the door
which resulted in school-wide panic
they found the toad luckily
well, it actually came running back to hyewon
for some reason, it actually bit her! which made her laugh
the devious amphibian apparently had a habit for escaping, which hyewon learned about after multiple attempts from it at running away
which never worked
because hyewon would get so sad and said toad would feel bad
thus meaning it would turn around and bound back to hyewon
________________________
<choi yena>
immediately fell in love with hogwarts once she saw the great hall
one, because it was full of food
and two, because it’s so pretty! and the starts reflect on the ceiling! and magic!
tried to bond with the sorting hat
and it most likely worked because she is choi yena and can do things like that
a social butterfly without realizing it, everyone wants to talk to her all at the same time and she is b i g s t r e s s e d
helps with homework even if she has no idea what she’s doing
it aides her in picking up the subject because no that she’s having to explain it it clicks in her mind
strategy peeps
________________________
<lee chaeyeon>
the sorting hat knew she was a hufflepuff the minute she walked through the door
her bright energy and happy-go-lucky charm made her a friend magnet, everyone wanted to be her bestie
dances to cheer people up
is friends with all the ravenclaws and joins them in their all-nighters when they’ve discovered a new obsession
wins every single lottery/game/anything that involves chance
her nicknames is felix felicis (i hope i’m spelling that right)
racks up all the house points because the professors can’t help but praise her for everything
and she deserves it to, always running around helping others
________________________
<kim chaewon>
the seeker for hufflepuff
surprised the class and left everyone open-mouthed with her quidditch skills
had no idea she was so good, but after a while begins to take a lot of pride in her talent
the sorting hat considered slytherin for chaewon, but decided against it
which may seem like an odd combination, but it wasn’t uncommon 
befriends all the slytherins and has them head over heels in love with her
same with the gryffindors
in fact, chaewon doesn’t know actually know many hufflepuffs, she’s always gotten along better with the other houses
________________________
<kim minju>
joins vivi in at night whenever she’s in the astronomy tower
has an admirable amount of ravenclaw friends and has practically become one at this point
goes in the common room all the time because she can figure out the riddles
smh their security system really isn’t that good
becomes obsessed with random subjects
has a different best class every year
comes up with her own spells
hogsmeade weekends are her favorite :(
and minju stuffs herself with butterbeer every time
eunbi’s the only person who can keep her in check
________________________
<yabuki nako>
i mean all hufflepuffs are cute-
but nako really takes the cake 
because no one can look at her adorable smile and not think she’s the cutest human to ever exist
drew on the walls of the hufflepuff dorms because she accidentally drank a potion yuri had been brewing
which caused her to go loopy and delirious
eunbi was summoned and forced to tuck nako into bed so she could sleep it off
lights up the room whenever she walks in
everybody swears that the candles actually brighten whenever nako appears
________________________
<honda hitomi>
loves the ravenclaw tower with all her heart :(
almost fainted when she first saw it because of how pretty it was
peak house spirit
ravenclaw only wins the house cup if hitomi has a good year
because she’s just so happy to be a ravenclaw and all the teachers are like yeh hitomi yeh and give her lots of points
became a prefect the first chance she got
doens’t get anyone in trouble though
but no one takes any chances because they don’t want to disappoint her
________________________
<jo yuri>
a master at potions
spends half her time concocting liquids to do a bunch of (benevolent) things
has suspicious stains on her robes
nobody questions it
because she’s a ravenclaw, which means she will feel extremely put off at any sort of accusatory remarks and you won’t be able to understand her answer because of her big brain words
jumps 10 feet in the air if you interrupt her magic
screams too
makes you swear to never tell anyone
but it’s happened to everyone so at this point it’s just common knowledge
________________________
<ahn yujin>
a beater for gryffindor and goes beast mode whenever ravenclaw is playing
because for some reason they make her eye twitch
even if she’s friends with a bunch of them
she’s still just BIG GRR
spends all of her itme in the gryffindor common room
greets everyone when they come in
is on a first-name basis with the entire school and no one knows how she can remember them all
and she’s so sweet to people? how does she deal with it
whenever she comes in the room there’s a chorus of “ahn yujin, the woman, the myth, the legend!”
________________________
<jang wonyoung>
thought the common room actually had badgers in it
and was extremely disappointed when she found out they didn’t
haseul felt bad seeing wonyoung’s sadness and invited her on a badger hunt
they found two
and bonded with them by feeing them food
i don’t know what badgers eat so i won’t specify
but the badgers followed the two home and now the hufflepuff house has two pet badgers
wonyoung takes great pride in that accomplishment
even more than when she (effortlessly) won the triwizard tournament in her sixth year
________________________
<wong gaahei>
super into astronomy and astrology
will stare at the stars all night
has seven telescopes and has no shame
seems quiet at first, but the ravenclaw dorms are always filled with the sound of her laughter (even at 3 in the morning)
daydreams in class all the time
and is confused over everything
but still makes it through with her sweet personality
fell off a broom the first time she ever got on one
because she was so busy watching the instructor that she didn’t realize her head was tilted so far to the side that it unbalanced her and caused her to slip off her broom
________________________
<ha sooyoung>
snako right here wanted to play quidditch her whole life
but sadly, she wasn’t too good at it
however, yves soon realized her true talent transfiguration
seriously, she can change anything into anything
zapped lippie into a mouse one time
professor mcgonagall was not happy
just kidding she was ecstatic and gave sooyoung a detention to teach her how to perfect her skills on turning people into mice
just not jungeun
holds a grudge against the gryffindor quidditch team but won’t ever admit it
but everybody knows
but it’s okay, because sooyoung can get away with anything (and no one wants to be turned into a mouse)
________________________
<jung jinsoul>
famous for winning the triwizard tournament 
because first of all, she didn’t even want to apply, yves and heejin had forced her to as a joke because there was no way she was going to be picked
but low and behold, she was picked
and somehow managed to win every task with pure luck
(and an ungodly amount of encouragement from chuu)
this has made everyone scared of her
which she doesn’t mind a lot of times, because it’s nice to be left alone
and she can easily filter out peole she doesn’t want in her life
but still
to people who aren’t aware of her winnings
she’s about as terrifying as a duck eating lettuce
________________________
<jo haseul>
overworked as the head of house but deals with it because she loves taking care of her fellow puffies
i miss her so much
was on the quidditch team at some point
she can’t remember when
third year maybe
her first four years went by in a blur
she was so enveloped in her studies and loved learning about magic with all her heart
100% got a job at the ministry once she finished her seventh year
there was zero question when choosing the head of house for hufflepuff
everyone immediately nominated haseul
________________________
<kim jungeun>
The Scary Ravenclaw TM
no one messes with her or her posse
a beast at magic has legit something like an 8.0 GPA
everyone’s like jungeun that is hecking impossible
not for her apparently
whipped for all the hufflepuffers and is known to trudge into their common room whenever she’s grumpy
because she knows at least sixteen people will volunteer to hug her
(preferably chuu is in that group)
denies it though
like heck no i hate hugs what are you talking about
________________________
<kim jiwoo>
the definition of a hufflepuff
was the talk of the school the first day because of how big of an impact her positivity and cheerfulness made
she turns heads and doesn’t even notice it😔
didn’t bring a pet, surprisingly
but steals everyone else’s
no one bothers to reprimand her whenever their cat disappears and is found cuddled up next to chuu
because honestly if i was a cat that’s what i would do
her patronus is probably something like a pufferfish
which she thought was the best thing ever
because “it goes poof whenever i stop the spell!”
________________________
<jeon heejin>
A CHASER FOR GRYFFINDOR AND EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG IS WHIPPED FOR HOW WELL SHE PLAYS QUIDDITCH
acts like she struggles with school but is actually top of her class
spends a bunch of time with her professors because she loves talking to them
such a libra smh
brought a toad
was so embarrassed at first but is now shameless 
about the fact that yes, she does kiss her toad on the forehead before she leaves for school each morning
even if most of the time she keeps the toad in her pocket all day because she doesn’t want to leave it alone
________________________
<kim hyunjin>
head owl caretaker
spends all of her time with hagrid :(
there are multiple stains on the floor from when they’re drinking tea together and hyunjin does something that makes them both spit out their drinks in laughter
fang cleans it up though
the animals are her favorite thing
created a spell to remove fur/hair from her clothes because she gets bad allergies
steals whole loaves of bread from the kitchens
the cooks turn a blind eye
________________________
<park chaewon>
has eaten all the crackers in the kitchen in one go
no one was really mad (except for jiwon) because how could you be upset with her?
her crunchy voice is adorable, even if she’s lying and blaming it all on yeojin
does her own thing most of the time
one of those people who will memorize 1800 spells but tell no one
and then shows everything off at the perfect moment
loves watching quidditch
will go to the practices just to see people play, she’s that enamored
a HUGE fan of the chudley cannons
________________________
<choi yerim>
friends with all the hufflepuffs
stole their badgers one time because she wanted to test the theory of “hufflepuffs are good finders”
they would have found their pets
but were too scared to accuse choerry
even if they knew it was her
choerry felt bad and sneakily returned the truffle-hunters during the night
she heard chuu disgruntledly ranting to haseul about how rude it was to steal some poor defenseless badgers
she turned them invisible shortly after that for another prank
but gowon exposed her
yerim’s never forgiven her for it
________________________
<son hyejoo>
the sweetest slytherin you’ll ever meet
loves to sit in the common room and stare at the water in the lake
but always gets scared by people walking in
even though she’s used to it because it happens every 10 minutes 
but it’s still
ahh!
wanted to be on the quidditch team so bad when she was younger but now does not see the point she would much rather sit in the charms room and make up dumb spells with chuu
professor flitwick helps them
and always has cupcakes on handy
________________________
<im yeojin>
the mind of a slytherin and is the head prankster
no one suspects her because she looks and acts to sweet to do anything
but despite their “fair play” thing going on
hufflepuffs are the best jokers you’ll find
yeojin has started a pranking service
makes a bunch of money off it
enough to buy all 11 of her besties bags of candy at hogsmeade
(along with getting herself one because she deserves it)
oh!
and some for hufflepuff’s badgers too!
________________________
<yoo jimin>
i put her in gryffindor at first because aries
but she really has the personality of a ravenclaw :)
and she definitely brought an eagle/hawk to school
convinced everyone it was an owl
i mean no one really thought it was an owl because it obviously was a different kind of bird
but 
how the heck do you take away someone’s bird and prevent it from going back to them?
and where do you put it?
that was karina’s plan
she knew no one could outsmart her
the riddle thingo at the entrance to the ravenclaw dorms was very proud of her
they’re friends
________________________
<uchinaga aeri>
the sorting hat spent five hours deciding on whether to put giselle in slytherin or hufflepuff
i’m exaggerating but you get the picture
because she values all of the things that the houses represent?!
but hufflepuff was still the best fit
loves to wander around the halls and staircases so she can discover the infinite amount of corridors and rooms inside hogwarts
she’ll never find them all
which is a little dissatisfying
but it’s still fun!
and ningning accompanies her a lot of the time, which can be incredibly distracting because neither of them end up going the direction they want to because they see something cool and go !!??
________________________
<kim minjeong>
a chaser for gryffindor
although no one knows about it? 
winter just never mentions it so whenever she plays there’s an uproar because that’s minjeong out there!
she loves the compliments from the outcome/ending of her accomplishments rather than the encouragement along the way
an ace at sneaking around the school
has gotten into all of the houses’ dorms 
no one found out
although the fat friar did see her and lecture her on privacy
she sort of listened
by which i mean she stayed out of the hufflepuff dorms and instead wen to the ravenclaw ones
________________________
<ning yizhuo>
the pride of hufflepuff for her quidditch skills
she’s so good at it
no one really expected this from her, but her determination blasted away any competition
and the team needs her badly 
for her quidditch skills
and her constant encouragement and cheering
giselle ended up giving her a microphone to wear during games so the whole school could hear how amazing and sweet the hufflepuff house is
smiles at everyone she walks past and the entire population of hogwarts knows her name
________________________
<kim chungha>
mcgonagall’s favorite
a role model for everyone, chungha has a posse of first years surrounding her at all times
her becoming head of house was no surprise, everyone expected her to and no one was jealous or envied her position since she did such a good job of leading gryffindor
used to be on the quidditch team as a blugder
which no one expected from sweet chungha
she was average, not a prodigy but not bad either
ended up quitting in sixth year to focus more on her studies, namely charms
________________________
<jeon somi>
in about 18 clubs
started 15 of them
for some reason she just loves the thrill of being part of a group more than others
and really enjoys having people around her
excellent at charms! it’s her best subject and professor flitwick uses her as an example all the time
she loves it
probably had to give her animal away to someone else (big sad) because she’s so busy
it was hyunjin who took it
now they’re really good friends and somi can see her cat whenever she wants to
________________________ 
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mwolf0epsilon · 3 years
Text
“Eps’s Notes on The Illusion of Living”
It's taken me nearly three months to get this done due to writer’s block kicking my sorry butt. But, as promised, here are my notes on the "Illusion of Living". Good god has this been painful… But I did have a lot of stuff I initially thought of Joey somewhat confirmed for me, and got a few extra interesting tidbits of info that I feel are very curious...
--{Key}--
Italics are my opinion
--{Key}--
--{Quick retelling of the book’s contents}--
    The Drews were among the more impoverished families in New Jersey, and Joey's father briefly worked in the silk industry to make end's meet before opening his own shoe store (that his mother oversaw profits for as the accountant). As such there were obvious limitations to a lot of Joey’s upbringing (like a lack of toys to entertain him with, and very few family vacations/trips that were memorable).
According to Joey, the shoes sold at his family’s store were primarily designed for people in the working class (clunky shoes and boots that would endure wear and tear rather than be flashy or comfortable to wear, which Joey complained never really fit him right), and had one singular design that was simply improved upon rather than any variety (I suppose the saying here would be “don’t fix it if it ain’t broke” but Joey really seemed to have some sort of issue with this, as he disliked his father’s works).
    Joey's mother was a hardworking housewife and the primary parent when it came to rearing her child. She educated and played with him more than his father, so Joey was much fonder and emotionally close to her than to him and, while Joey’s father wasn’t an absent parent by any means, he was definitely more engrossed in working to sustain the family.
This family dynamic definitely had some impact on Joey, especially since his mother got him interested in the art of storytelling in general, and he seemed to have a lot more respect for her than for his father. In fact he even had a few reservations regarding his father’s mental integrity when he discovered his talent for making voices in a rather odd manner.
It should be noted here that, while Joey's father was strong, he looked deceptively frail and wasn't considered a particularly brave man by any means. He was however regarded as a bit of an entrepreneur, and Joey was very concerned that he may not be sane (which was a bit of taboo at the time, considering treatment for mental health issues hadn’t advanced past lobotomies and other disturbing medical malpractices) because he talked and sang to himself in curious little voices while he worked. Curiously enough, while a patient and loving man, Joey's father wasn't aversed to cursing around his young son (although Joey himself doesn't seem to use crass language, even if it was normalized in the household). Another curious thing to note is that Joey greatly dislikes mud, and especially hated it as a child (alluding to his later obsessive cleanliness as an adult).
    Because of the financial issues his family suffered through, Joey didn't have a radio or many books growing up, and was thus more fond of Vaudevilles (specifically theatrical comedy, tragedy, and bizarre/surreal acts) which were pretty common in his city of birth. This interest for theatrics and third person story perspectives mixed terribly with later events in his life, like how at age 10 he witnessed a potential murder/suicide (Jesus christ...). Through this event he realized that there were different kinds of people in specific situations, especially when faced with the finality of death. Joey goes so far as to describe how theatrical the death was (Almost sounding disconnected from the reality of the situation as he noted that the crowd and even his own father seemed more like characters to him than real people). However, since Joey's neighborhood was ripe with strange people, he wasn't unfamiliar with bizarre events happening around him. Seeing a motorized ambulance was more amazing to a 10 year old him than actually caring for the death of a stranger at the front of his father's store.
    At age 12, Joey went to Coney Island for the first time, and the journey excited him greatly since he didn't get to leave home very often. The trip to Coney Island was magical in a sense, and later in life he hoped to replicate it in Bendyland to a more permanent degree (the trip back home ruptured the magical effect, which he didn't want to happen with Bendyland).
Joey has his own set of rules he plays by which he considers his life’s philosophy that he calls "The Illusion of Living". This was inspired by several events in his life, including his father passing the time by playing make believe (the Shoemaker and the Elves). This unique perception of what illusion and reality are (“the same thing”), seems to point to Joey having developed a dissociative personality disorder from a young age, which got progressively worse as he grew older. This in addition with the ADHD patterns he displays in his confusing rambling writing (and Joey rambles a LOT), and the almost OCD behaviour in regards to cleaning up after himself, indicates Joey lacked impulse control and was more prone to listening to intrusive thoughts.
Joey's view of reality was often confusing to others and he greatly enjoyed poking fun out of slowly getting them to his point of view. Conversations with Joey were thus quite frustrating to some, but no less curious to others that actually tried to understand what the “Illusion of Living” was about (Like Nathan). According to Joey, only a few people ever got close to understanding it.
    Joey enlisted to fight in the first war after he lied about his age (He was 15 years old, a year younger than the required age to enlist at the time). Out of all the positions in the army, he seemed most interested in comms, and considered himself more decent in communicating than actually fighting in the front lines.
It seems like Joey greatly enjoyed how he looked in uniform, and was also particularly finicky about his looks in general despite being in boot camp.
He made friends in the army, Private Donaldson and Private Eckhart, which Nathan (who worked at the tech lab that Joey later worked for) attests to being accurately described in the book. They were slightly older than Joey and were also interested in communication tech and shared his sense of humor. They also influenced Joey's social life, and tried to get him to date some gals that he wasn’t remotely interested in (the first indication that he may not be straight).
    Another close friend Joey had in the army was Lottie (a communications officer) and he used to "chaperone" her whenever the four went out to party. He seemed to have a considerable amount of respect for her (which is likely a result of growing up observing his mother, thus understanding that women were competent in positions where other men would scoff at the idea of them working at all). As such he was quite supportive of the War's “Hello Girls” (comms female officers). Interestingly enough this contradicts Joey's sexist persona that he seems to take on in Dream Come to Life (a mask that seems to be among many others he employs to fit in with the rest of society).
Lottie was his special gal pal in the platonic sense and, while he often ate alone to be left with his thoughts, she usually sought him out to talk to.
Joey only ever empathized with people he was close to, often reserving telling stories to comfort his friends specifically. It was the only way he could brighten their day (which later supposedly helped a disillusioned Lottie when she was sent to serve in London). What one could take away from Joey’s days as a soldier was that he was incredibly perceptive in terms of studying people. He easily recognized people’s handwriting, and was greatly fascinated by others’s personalities.
He could also easily charm people just from reading into what they might be interested in, and liked the thought of subliminally impressing others (which he later incorporated into his cartoons). It’s never mentioned, but Joey was likely honorably discharged since the war ended in 1918 and didn’t need to return to the service of the military when the second world war hit (keeping in mind Joey appears to have mobility issues later in life, he might have not been fit for field duty).
    At age 19 Joey ended up involved in investigating the murder case of Walter Richmond, a signal corps soldier Joey met briefly in his service days. The victim in question was responsible for documenting the war efforts, not being necessarily that great of a photographer, but taking a certain amount of pleasure in capturing the most viscerally gruesome pictures possible for shock value. How Joey got involved was a curious thing in of itself, since he didn’t know the victim all that well, nor cared to get to know him. Detective Adam Sinclair (a tall hulking man wearing the typical trenchcoat and fedora combo, who’s most noticeable features were his aged face and unshaven 5’o’clock shadow) tracked him down to his little minimalistic (and obsessively clean and tidy) apartment to question him. Joey was initially unsurprised that an ex-soldier ended up dead (not from the war, but likely ptsd), and was instead surprised that it was a murder case. He ended up inserting himself into the case as Sinclair’s shadow to help solve it. The reason was mostly out of self-interest, but his perspective did seem useful to the detective in the end. Throughout the investigation Joey displayed a few particular traits that indicate his attentive and peculiar nature, such as the way he reads others (their way of dressing and upkeep of posture), the manner of which he judges a good handshake, his distaste for smoking (which was taught to him via the idea that if something smells bad it’s usually bad for you) and drinking (he tries to be careful with alcohol intake in general, as he’s more accustomed to beer than drinks like champagne which one could over-indulge recklessly without noticing). Joey’s fascination for taboo subjects (war, violence, and death specifically) is also noted when he observes the victim’s photographic works.
This is a prevalent theme in an art gallery event where these particular subjects seemed to linger strongly in his mind, to the point where he noticed when one of the photos he recalls having seen before during his brief meeting with Richmond, appeared to be missing from the display. A detail that appeared to be dismissed by others, but of great interest to Sinclair.
    During this same gallery event, there was an incident set up by the murderer that involved a firecracker and a crowbar that set off a lot of panic. Joey’s work at the signal corps labs saved him from the brutality of the trenches, but he's apparently familiar with the effects of severe PTSD (And ironically notes that reliving the same painful event over and over again is his definition of true horror/personal hell).
It became very apparent to both Joey and Sinclair that the murderer was amongst them, and that this onslaught of panic was a message: That the murder of the frontline photographer was personal.
They did in fact come into contact with the perpetrator and, after a while of radio silence between Joey and Sinclair, the case was solved with...Minimal success. While Sinclair knew who killed Walter Richmond, he unfortunatelly did not have enough proof to convict her (the sister of a casualty of war that could have easily been saved, had Richmond not left him for dead because it fit his narrative of the war just fine), thus allowing her to get away with literal murder. Worse yet, the resolution of the case seemed to further disconnect Joey from reality and consequence. He gained a disdain for Adam Sinclair where once he’d respected him as an authority figure of sorts, finding that he’d accomplished his role and still failed miserably. In the end, the only thing to come out of teaming up with Sinclair was learning a social skill that Joey employed later on, by mirroring back certain aspects of a person so they’d be more comfortable around him. Otherwise the detective became nothing more than a distant memory. Unimportant in Joey’s later narrative.
    Two years later, Joey started working for a bookstore where he began satiating his vast hunger for knowledge, now that he had access to all sorts of books he could never afford as a child. Joey is fairly well read with an interest in various genres, although it was previously noted that during his army service people made fun of him for especially liking fictional novels. Joey being Joey however, wasn’t overly fussed about others’s opinions on what he sought enjoyment from, especially when it came to storytelling. Aside from getting his reading quota filled out, his bookstore job also helped him develop his salesperson skills through reading his customers. Through his experiences with his father’s shop and shadowing Sinclair, he had by now understood that people were highly superficial, and that he could apply whatever knowledge he gathered from them into how he sold his pitch to them. His charisma seemed to lure in customers.
    While working at the store he met Abby Lambert who he immediately noticed had an eye for art. Joey quickly became friends with her and seemed to greatly appreciate her no-nonsense attitude towards life in general, going so far as to respect her capabilities as a working lady where other men would be disdained with her difficult attitude. In fact, he wondered why anyone wouldn’t hire her to do a job she could clearly handle, just because she was a woman (again contradicting his sexist persona). As a connoisseur of the arts, Abby was the one to fully introduce Joey to her favourite craft. He especially took an interest in Impressionism and its influences.
Abby also supposedly introduced Henry to Joey, which the latter insists wasn’t really that remarkable of an event since Henry was “unimaginative” and “lacking in talent” due to his specialty in cartoon caricatures, and not the richer awe inspiring paintings Joey seemed to prefer (basically Joey spends any given time in the book trying to make Henry seem as insignificant as possible out of pure unadulterated pettiness, which physically pains me).
Ironically, in terms of entertainment, Joey later favoured cartoons as the more appealing form of films since most other mediums didn’t really spark his interest, even if the genres were ones he found fascinating (I suppose that despite films being works of fiction most times, Joey likely thought real life actors were far too limited in their acts due to the natural limitations of the human body).
Returning to Abby, her friendship seemed to be more impactful to Joey than most others. Like with how he preferred his mother’s company to his father’s, Abby seemed to be one of few people he actually felt comfortable around, to the point where her criticism didn’t bother him. She was also mindful of him, where she could recognize Joey’s “preferences” and made it a point to clarify to him that their outings were purely platonic so he wouldn’t get uncomfortable in those situations.
    Three years after meeting Abby and Henry, Joey became a manager at the bookstore and Henry began working there as well (by Joey’s suggestion it seems), and only then did they sort of start developing a meek little friendship of sorts (although Joey seems very dismissive about it and focuses primarily on Abby).
During that time, the idea to start his own business came about from two different events that happened that year. The first being his first ever theatrical script that he wrote and performed with Abby at a gallery event. During the performance of this little play (the theme of which was an angel and a demon discussing their role in influencing a mortal’s life), Joey discovered that he greatly enjoyed controlling situations and got way too into it (even considers what he could get away with in the name of entertainment, such as if he could act out actual violent or scandalous behaviours if he proclaimed it a part of the show).
The second event was his father sending him shoes once a year (which, because Joey disliked the make of his father’s shoes, he tried to get him to stop by pretending they weren’t arriving at his address or that they were getting stolen). As a means to ensure he got them, Joey's father started sending the packages to the bookstore. A doodle and writing on the package ended up inspiring Joey to create his own studio as he wanted to take flight in the entertainment industry.
    Having thus decided that he wanted to open up a film studio of some kind, Joey immediately set off to get himself a memorable mascot. He had a vague idea of what he needed and what might be appealing to an audience, but he wasn’t particularly skilled in character design and openly admitted to this. Abby, who was also not particularly good at drawing cartoons, understood that her more realistic style wouldn’t really help (or appeal to) Joey, so she enlisted Henry’s help. Knowing that Joey was a bit picky in regards to how he evaluated art, she thought perhaps she could persuade him to take a liking to Henry’s works (which he wasn’t particularly fond of, due to Henry mostly working with pen-drawings of cartoon characters and caricatures that looked very unremarkable to him) if he could only see him actually work his “magic”. Joey was reluctant to bring Henry into his business plan, but upon actually reaching a design within a few minutes (that took a few tries experimenting with animal and human features in more detailed and then simplified ways) of Joey giving some directions, he seemed to be sold on bringing Henry on board.
Henry designing the company mascot was thus the final push to open up Joey Drew Studios.
The two began their partnership not too long after, and from then on out things got interesting very quickly.
    The history behind the studio is...Not an easy one to validate in terms of whether or not Joey is sincere or even really knows certain dates (the more I look into the beginning of the book and the later exposition of information, the more I realized either Joey was starting to trip himself up on dates or his memory was visibly failing him). There are a lot of discrepancies in the dates provided, with some going back on how long Henry remained in the studio (even claiming to have at some point surrounded him with other animators and even a lead artist a year prior to his departure), when Sammy and Jack were hired (He says he hired Sammy in 1929 during the Wallstreet Crash, but later says he hired both him and Jack after the Wallstreet Crash), among other things... Joey Drew Studios was primarily funded by Mrs. Richmond (the mother of Walter Richmond), as Joey had forged friendships with the people involved in the case he’d helped Sinclair investigate (including the murderer whom he had grown to respect).
While other investors aren’t really brought up, it’s implied Nathan also had a hand in helping the studio taking off, as Joey often met up with him at the Russian Tearoom whenever he could. During these private meetings, Nathan would impart advice on Joey. Advice which he seemed to not care for, as he already had his own concerns at the time.
It seemed that his main plan was to acquire a talented and capable team to achieve his dream. A team Joey thought he wouldn’t need to "baby-sit", as he specifically wanted to hire individuals that were as studious and capable as he saw himself (curiously Joey mentions that Henry’s work ethic was exactly what he wanted, as Henry had never held work back or needed to be checked up on, which to Joey was an invaluable attribute).
For at least two years, the Bendy Cartoons were nothing but silence and sound effects (something we actually see in-game in BatIM Chapter One when the projector suddenly turns on and we hear nothing but the clicking of the projector and Joey’s whistling), which put them at a bit of a disadvantage when it came to competing with other animation studios.
This soon changed when Joey came across Sammy Lawrence and Jack Fain at a party he was attending on his 30th birthday (which he wasn’t celebrating, the party was a completely different event so supposedly Joey doesn’t care much for his own birthday).
He was already familiar with Sammy’s musical skills (mostly playing the piano quite masterfully), as he’d seen him perform at the theater when Sammy was still a teenager. Noticing him and Jack at the party was entirely accidental and was mostly due to the fact that, while Sammy was trying to keep out of the spotlight as he played, Jack’s showmanship shone through and caught Joey’s eye with how boisterous he was in their musical performance.
Joey approached them once their act was done and managed to convince them to work for him. Jack seemed to be immediately on board, while Sammy was a little more guarded in his agreement and immediately set up his stipulations for the job. This seemed to lean Joey’s interest towards Sammy (who Joey was unhealthily fascinated with because he was clearly not an easy man to control) more than Jack (who he likely considered too easy a read in terms of character, thus not much of a challenge to sway or condition).
     By 1933 Joey officially bought the entire building the studio was set up in (which up until then was occupied by other people seeking their own ventures). Expansion and new hires likely started a year or so later and continued on despite financial instability, and between 1941 and 1942 Joey was already starting to work out how he’d get Bendyland to be just as perfect and spectacular as he had always envisioned (which was difficult because he never really got it to feel just right in his eyes, and something felt off to him).
In between listing several different projects, vaguely describing an innovative techniques (Sillyvision which seems to be linked with the Golden Ink?), and even setting up his own 7 rules on how to animate to help set up a guide for aspiring animators, Joey slowly drifts away from the studio topic and finalizes his book rather abruptly.
He insinuates there’s a lot more for him to tell but little to no connection with the “Illusion of Living” philosophy and he’d rather focus on his actual physical work with the Studio than sit down and write further, so he finishes off on a rather...Vague note.
--{On Joey Drew}--
Year of Birth - 1901 (Day and month are never mentioned, but it's possible that his favouring of the autumnal season alludes to a fall month) Year of Death - ??? (Supposedly he's died, hence why Nathan claimed the Bendy IP) Birth City: Born and raised in Paterson "Silk City", New Jersey (Joey doesn't seem to have an accent, so he likely masks it, or made an effort to lose it). Physical Characteristics: As a child he used to have curly hair (Considering the era’s general fashion and style, it’s very likely that Joey either cut his hair too short to see the curls, or simply uses too much gel to seem more presentable) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Homosexual with Demiromantic subtones (Joey seems to be closed off in general, but more appreciative of the male figure. Could be interpreted as demisexual however, since Joey himself doesn't seem to like wasting time around people he doesn't have much of a bond with) Notes: Here are several notes I’ve compiled about Joey and his opinions on certain things and people. There’s a lot to look at as this man rambles like an old lady at a friday night bingo event, and thus I had a lot to take in!
Laughter is important to him.
Seems to be a dog person.
Likes Cheerios (yes this was a super necessary detail I had to jot down).
Considers having his ideas disclosed without permission to be disloyal.
Seems to have some sort of dissociative personality disorder (likely brought on by trauma or another undiagnosed mental disorder).
People-Watcher by nature.
Was taught by his father that the shoe makes the man (aka the art of studying people through their shoes).
Joey believes in the saying "The Truth is in the Pudding", a saying his mother often employed.
Never had enough money to own a pair of nice fitting shoes until he was 26.
Is narcissistically vain. Easily takes insult if people assume he can't look presentable.
His service in the army gave him experience with "experimental tech".
Enjoys music a lot, and he was considered a great dancer.
Finds modern feminine fashion standards appealing.
Disliked the way those with money romanticized lacking material gains. Found it personally disrespectful in a way, since he himself came from a poor family.
Seems appalled by too much color on one's wear (Joey is the goddamn fashion police).
Very picky about the arts.
Apparently disliked Henry's art style(???).
Lets people believe Henry is the creator of the toons, in an act of being holier than thou. (You lying son of a gun, stop lying to everyone and yourself whaddahell).
Joey's analogy of Henry starting a journey but Joey being the one to reap the benefits, is likely the truest thing he's said in this nightmare of a novel (boastful bastard...).
Thinks of Bendy as his firstborn, muse and messenger.
Took an art class with Abby (likely not a full art course, just a simple class to get the gist of it?).
Considers art the doorway to immortality.
Doesn't like post-mortem success (it frightens him, even). He'd rather be successful in his lifetime.
Admits to making mistakes, but not many. He also thinks mistakes don't need to be permanent.
Doesn't know what true rest is like, and is unsure if he'll ever be content enough to rest. On that same note he seems to really hate sitting still and his mind tends to wander, which he notes Nathan recognized with ease, even reserving a specific look for him (It’s the ADHD baby).
His friend Kyle was a lazy person and a gossip, which were traits Joey found annoying.
On their first meeting, Joey described having a desire to shove Sammy off a roof to see a more human reaction from him.
Assumes Jack is jealous of the attention he gives Sammy, or that the duo's relationship is strained, despite him barging into their lives out of the blue and making him feel like a third wheel.
Seems to think of himself as some sort of a messenger (going so far as to akin himself to the god, Mercury). His life’s mission is to help those who don't know they need to be helped (mostly through spreading happiness and laughter in such a dark and dreary era of human history). Bendyland is essentially Joey's means to fulfil this desire, as well as to chase his own need for a properly realized mixture of immersion and illusion.
He wanted Bendyland to be perfect, even the plot of land it might be built in needed to be perfect, so he inspected it himself with Nathan once he bought the deed.
Appears to refuse to call Bertrum by his proper name once he’s corrected the first time. Referring to him instead as either Bertie or Bert (toying with him perhaps? Testing boundaries?)
Doesn't drive. He instead hired a personal driver, Simmons.
For a little while he was living the American Dream, but thought of how he lived as less of a shared goal and more of a personal one (again setting himself apart from others).
His days were quite flexible and he seemed to despise set routines. He also doesn't like sleeping in. He liked to take a walk in central park early in the morning.
Joey used to make his rounds around the studio but the installation of the Ink Machine changed that habit a bit.
Nonchalantly notes that Shawn Flynn got a little defensive if he needed to be corrected on his work (OCD much, Joey? He was painting a lot of dolls by hand, slipups happen...).
He had priority meetings with Sammy, "meetings" with Jack (Sir what are these quotation marks for, are you snogging Jack while no one’s watching???), then met with the art department preceding the writing department, and finally he met with Grant Cohen in accounting to discuss finances and budget.
He had the final say in ALL paperwork regarding studio affairs.
Upon reading about it, found the concept of bringing in real animals to produce Disney's Bambi as funny, and joked about how trying to do so with Bendy and Boris would be chaotic.
Noted that Abby and Sammy were likely the only two people who closely understand the philosophy of the illusion of living, but not quite…
Was terrified of being misunderstood. Joey didn’t want to only be able to show half-truths, like a mirror reflecting the world darkly. Rather ironic considering he was quite deceitful in his adult life.
His desire for the world to love Bendy seems to be a projection of wanting to feel loved himself (quite honestly if one were to apply the theory of the id, ego and superego, it seems to me that Bendy is essentially Joey’s id, while Joey himself could be considered the Superego. The chameleonic social mask he wears is thus the ego. At the end of the day Bendy and Joey are and aren’t the same entity...).
Originally he didn't want to make a memoir (likely because he can't be direct and needs to work around the truth to fit him). It could also be that Joey didn’t want to linger on the past nor in death. He wasn't sure where it fit with his philosophy and thus tried not to explore too deep into it (existential dread?).
He wore custom tailored suits, and as of beginning writing TioL he had recently taken to wearing cravats (ever the vain man I suppose…).
Despite considering revisiting the past unnecessary, he couldn’t deny doing so if the time called for it. In fact, the Archives are Joey's memories of the past and he's sentimental enough to collect mementos of bygone eras.
Joey has trophies at home, the deeply personal things he couldn’t bare part with. Like the first sketch of Bendy, a napkin with the design of Bendyland, a letter from Henry, a ticket from a Vaudeville show, and his set of shoes he wore when he was surveying the plot of land where he planned to build Bendyland.
--{On Bendy}--
Notes: Here are a few notes I’ve compiled about the Little Devil Darling himself, and a few curiosities about his creation and the inspiration behind his character.
Bendy was officially created in 1928. According to Joey he was born of a dream, supposedly out of necessity, and he always had this idea of a little devil character doing mischief.
Bendy started off as a realistic little boy with a tail and horns (Abby’s attempt to bring to life Joey’s vague idea). Then, when Henry got involved, he became a cartoonish goat creature. The concepts were quickly worked out from a toony clothed amalgamation of both previous concepts, to a more intermediate design more closely resembling Bendy, and then finally, after Joey requested a simpler more shapely and less detailed toon, Bendy became the iconic  little imp clad in only gloves and bowtie.
Joey named him upon seeing the completed design. There are two origins for his name: That of Walter Benjamin Richmond, who’s nickname in life was “Bendy” (a rather morbid homage considering what happened to him), and the mere fact that in Joey’s eyes, his little cartoon imp “bent all the rules”. Henry seemed to appreciate the name.
Bendy is meant to be the devil on one’s shoulders, much like the devil in Joey’s first theatrical play. He is however, a lot more like a little kid playing pranks on people. He is also a sort of embodiment of both the population and human morality (society at its most flawed point, but also quite relatable).
Buster Keaton was an inspiration for Bendy’s many shenanigans and movements, which were always meant to be fluid and a bit bouncy.
--{On Henry Stein}--
Year of Birth - ??? (It’s never mentioned how old Henry is, but I assume he’s around the same age group as Abby, since they were friends and likely went to the same art course. It’s likely that he’s younger than Joey, but not likely by much.) Year of Death - 1963 (It’s not really confirmed if Henry died when he was put into the Cycle, as he doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about himself, but it’s safe to assume the process very likely involves human sacrifice). Birth City: ??? (Unknown, it could be that he was born and raised in New York but Henry lacks a noticeable accent) Physical Characteristics: Average looking? (Irrelevant, he could honestly look like anyone really...) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Presumably Heterosexual (He’s a married man in the 1930s-1960s, he’s either straight or hiding his sexuality, he seems to really like Linda however so could go either way really...) Notes: Here the few notes I could gather of the Henry info we got from TioL. It’s not much but its at least something to work with!
Henry is unremarkable appearance wise (to the point Joey forgot his face easily at first).
The way Henry dressed (mismatched and ill-fitted) indicates he likely grew up in poverty and likely only had hand-me-downs.
He mostly worked with pen-drawn cartoon character designs that were unremarkable but distinctly caricature-like (the Butcher Gang concepts were likely displayed in the gallery Joey attended, as noted by a comment he makes about them). Even if Joey apparently didn’t particularly like his style, Henry’s artwork was one of the final inspirations for the creation of Joey Drew Studios.
He is described as able to draw quite fast, great at taking directions, and as being a good animator. Overall Henry never really had any real need for someone to keep an eye on him which made him an exemplary worker.
According to Joey, Henry used to give pep-talks before he left the studio. This seemed to annoy Joey considerably for some reason (perhaps he was envious that Henry was generally a more likeable person).
Henry is remembered as forgettable, whereas Joey is flashier and more memorable.
Interestingly enough, Henry never claimed to own the design of Bendy, and was more interested in being business partners with Joey than starting a fuss about who owned the rights to Bendy’s creation (It’s very likely that he willingly gave Joey the design because Bendy was his character, and that instead the designs Joey did steal were that of Boris the Wolf, Alice Angel, and the Butcher Gang, the five other more notorious characters in the Bendy franchise).
--{On Abby Lambert}--
Year of Birth - ??? (It’s never mentioned how old Abby is, but I assume she’s around the same age group as Henry, since they were friends and likely went to the same art course. It’s likely that she’s younger than Joey, but not likely by much.) Year of Death - Possibly 1946 (Upon finally losing himself to the ink, Sammy seemed to have been actively hunting the Art Department and any stragglers that he encountered in the studio, so it can be assumed she died in the chaos) Birth City: ??? (Unknown but more likely to be born and raised in New York than Henry) Physical Characteristics: Frizzy hair, even when bobbed. Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Potentially Bisexual (She seemed to be acutely aware of Joey’s “peculiarities” so it’s possible she’s either a member of the LGBTQ community or perhaps an ally. Whatever the case it’s up for debate and interpretation.) Notes: Here are several notes I’ve compiled about Abby and some of her traits and mannerisms. There was surprisingly a lot more to work with than I expected.
She wasn’t really into the typical female fashion of the time. In fact, Abby wasn’t exactly fond of the typical mannerisms associated with women and was both notoriously rude and dressed herself in a “scandalously” modern manner (which is basically code for more practical less femenine clothing).
According to Joey, Abby is a very focused and determined person, which is why he admired her greatly. She didn’t know when to quit, however, and sometimes took things too far or involved others in situations or projects they didn’t want to be involved in.
She wasn’t very good at drawing original cartoon characters, and Joey was apparently not overly fond of her attempts at putting his ideas to paper due to her more realistic art style.
Abby was very insistent on Joey looking at Henry's works, even if he wasn't particularly interested in them (While it’s never said if she enjoys his art herself, it can be assumed she appreciates it enough that she’d want their mutual friend to see the potential Henry had).
She didn’t join the studio as the replacement Director of the Art Department until 1931, as during its founding she was still finishing art school. She and Henry never worked together. Despite this, she and Henry remained in touch even after he left for Pasadena.
--{On Sammy Lawrence}--
Year of Birth - ??? (From how Joey describes him, it can be assume Sammy was a teenager around either Joey’s early or late 20s before they officially met on Joey’s 30th birthday) Year of Death - 1946? (Sammy is one of few people who was turned without being killed first so it’s hard to tell if he’s really dead even within the Cycle since it’s a time loop...) Birth City: ??? (Sammy lacks a noticeable accent so it’s hard to tell where he’s from). Physical Characteristics: Has been described as bird-like and insect-like, with either brown or blond hair that’s kept longer than the typical fashion of the time (Not much more is known about his actual appearance but it can be assumed he’s either average sized or on the tall side considering his in-game height and build) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Potentially Biromantic with a lot of Demiromantic subtones. Possibly Asexual? (Again this is pure speculation on my part because he did seem interested in Susie but isn’t really a people person in general. Does seem to know how to reign in people tho, so ???) Notes: Here are a few curious notes I’ve compiled about Sammy, the circumstances behind his hiring, and how much control he actually had as the music director.
He has an unusual appearance that, while not necessarily described as ugly, was clearly outstanding enough that some people were put off (Buddy) and others thought him handsome (Susie). His hair is also described as messy.
Sammy is an avid smoker.
He was among a few other musicians employed by the theater to drown out projector sounds and match the mood in silent films. Because he was good at improvising music on the spot, Sammy was excellent at carrying the story presented on screen through his melodies, which was what caught Joey’s eye when he first saw Sammy perform.
Sammy also recognized Joey and didn’t believe his dismissal that he was a “town person”. In fact, Sammy pinpointed the recognition to the fact Joey was that one loner that sat in the front row of the theater he played at.
It becomes very apparent that Sammy is suspicious of people in general. The way he observes others indicates he’s had some sort of struggle growing up. As such, he’s not big on sustaining conversations and he managed to aggravate Joey slightly by the way he addressed him on their first proper meeting.
Sammy had a songbook he shared with Jack, meaning they had a strong trust bond, which is why he only agrees to work for Joey based on Jack’s willingness to also be hired. Even so, he immediately set up professional boundaries for his position. He hired his own people without Joey’s interference, and he only ever indulged him if Joey was being particularly exasperating.
It’s very likely that since Sammy was the one hiring who worked for the music department, that he was the one who hired Norman Polk. This theory is made stronger by the fact he immediately demanded a projector and projectionist booth so he could better do his job.
Despite his surly disposition, Sammy is a no nonsense sort who wants things done and over with, rather than sit around and stall. As such Joey considered him one of the best decisions he made in terms of career.
Funnily enough, because the band seemed to be skittish around Joey, Sammy specifically prohibited his presence in the music department unless they had a scheduled meeting. This likely meant Joey was scarcely ever seen in the music department so as to not aggravate Sammy in person.
Alice Angel’s bigger (and failed) presence in the franchise is likely a consequence of another one of Sammy’s stipulations upon being hired. He had immediately noted that if the studio wanted to go anywhere, they’d need a female character (Perhaps Sammy really believed what he told Susie due to despising Bendy and actually favouring Alice as a character).
--{On Jack Fain}--
Year of Birth - ??? (Possibly around the same age as Sammy or a little older?) Year of Death - ??? (He was gone long before a few other people in the studio, likely in the first few experiments Joey performed) Birth City: ??? (Hard to tell, he doesn’t have an easily identifiable accent). Physical Characteristics: Has been described as an atrocious dresser (This man likes wearing bright colors!) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Potentially Homosexual subtones (Not enough information provided to tell) Notes: Sadly lacking in the information department for Jack.
Jack is incredibly sociable and trusts easily. He's described as making bad jokes but laughing genuinely at them. His smiles are contagious.
Jack is an optimist sort who sees the good in any situation (even when being led around in a dark creepy room by a peculiar stranger).
--{On Bertrum Piedmont}--
Year of Birth - ??? (He was retired, so it’s likely he was around his 60s or early 70s when Joey first met him) Year of Death - ??? (It’s unknown when exactly he ended up in the Ink Machine but it’s very possible he was killed when all hell broke loose in the studio) Birth City: ??? (No clue). Physical Characteristics: Joey describes him (rather rudely) as a very portly man. Sexual/Romantic Preferences: ??? (No idea, chief...) Notes: Lacking in the information department like Jack, but what we get is a lot more substantial.
Bertrum was actually retired when Joey managed to get a hold of him. It took a bit of detective work on Mrs. Rodriguez's (Joey's secretary) part to actually find him as well, so he was not an easy man to get an appointment with.
His creative vision impressed Joey enough that the latter he ignored his apparent dislike for reminiscing so as to get him on board of the Bendyland project.
While discussing the Bendyland Project, Bertrum confidently jokes about it being quite the catch. He agrees to joining forces with Joey as long as he gets full creative control of the entire project. Although Joey agreed to this, he still managed to fight Bertrum on a few ideas, which annoyed him greatly.
It’s very likely that it didn’t take long for their initially friendly relationship to sour into open hostility on Bertrum’s part.
--{On Wally Franks}--
Year of Birth - ??? (No clue, but he was very likely in his late teens or early adult years when he was first hired as the studio Janitor) Year of Death - Supposedly still alive (I really do hope he got outta there like the letter insinuates...) Birth City: Brooklyn, New York. Physical Characteristics: ??? (All we know is he likely wears overalls and a sport’s cap) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Possibly Heterosexual (Unless the letter is a forgery, he apparently has a wife, kids and grandkids) Notes: I’ll admit I didn’t expect to get Wally lore, but here we are!
Wally's actually quite skilled with maintenance. He can tinker with the projectors, other machinery and even plumbing. His schedule is a little off however, but Joey turns a blind eye to it because he gets the job done without question.
--{On Allison Pendle}--
Year of Birth - ??? (No idea! But she was relatively well known when she was hired!) Year of Death - ??? (She was likely lured back to the studio after everything went down but before Henry) Birth City: ??? Physical Characteristics: She’s a beautiful tall blonde according to DCTL Sexual/Romantic Preferences: ??? (She and Thomas are married but I honestly have no clue how to feel about her, she’s a mystery to me.) Notes: Extra minimal Allison lore for your Allison Pendle lore needs.
She was a famous Broadway actress before joining the studio. Interestingly enough, Joey was the one to hire her to replace Susie, not only breaking Sammy’s stipulation on the matter but also stirring Susie into becoming resentful towards Sammy and actually trying to recover her former role at all costs (even her own life).
--{On Nathan Arch}--
Year of Birth - ??? (He was likely a little older than Joey since they were in the army at the same time but Joey lied about his age to enlist earlier) Year of Death - N/A (Still alive and kicking) Birth City: ??? Physical Characteristics: ??? (I guess Boswell Lotsabucks is sorta modeled after him so go off on that???) Sexual/Romantic Preferences: Heterosexual (He has a wife and son and doesn’t give me any other vibes besides and overall instinctual distrust) Notes: Oh boy...I do NOT trust this man...
Immediately upon beginning reading TioL you get the impression that Nathan is not only trying to appear friendly and trustworthy by referring to himself as Nate A, but also that he’s trying to cover for Joey and make him appear more personable to the reader. But to what gain exactly?
Nathan is, like Joey, very narcissistically vain, and is also writing a book of his own (an autobiography maybe?)
He’s a smoker and prefers cigars.
When Joey discusses his childhood, Nathan is unable to contradict or confirm anything as he noted that Joey was always very private about his origins.
Nathan seemed truly surprised and impressed with Joey’s ability to make up uncannily believable stories, even suspecting that his accounts of “Lottie” might have been false as he couldn’t find any of the supposed letters Joey sent her when he started working on republishing TioL (it’s likely he could see that Joey often lied to himself just as much as he lied to others).
It seemed to Nathan that Joey was rather oblivious of subtle compliments.
By the manner of which Nathan phrases it, he seems to think of Joey as a professional and kind man, capable of seeing the good in others. That said, Nathan remarks that Henry's departure was a great betrayal for his friend, and that the latter shouldn't have been so "gracious" and "forgiving" towards him…
When the studio began to struggle financially, Nathan worried that Joey might not be aware of the issue at all, or that perhaps he was lying to himself to cope. He also later notes that Joey’s memories seemed to have deteriorated in his old age. He was often mixing up information and seemed rather guilty, which Nathan considering to be very unbecoming of the man he knew Joey to be.
A lot of the deeply philosophical Joey and Nathan interactions seen in the book might actually have occured between Joey and Henry (the "I think therefore I am" conversation is an especially telling one for me), hence why Nathan doesn't recall them. It also seems more likely because they contradict the way Joey portrays Nathan, but seem to fit his portrayal of Henry better.
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luna-tiel · 4 years
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What Entrapdak Means to Me
On the eve of Entrapdak Positivity Month, I thought it was as good a time as any to share my rambling thoughts on a ship that’s affected me in a way I didn’t think was possible. 
Entrapdak is the first ship I have ever been invested in. It’s such a new experience for me that it’s taken me the last few months to wrap my head around the whole thing. I may relate to the characters in a show, but when they form romantic attachments I view it with a degree of passive distance. I don’t understand what it’s like to have those sorts of feelings for someone (I am aromantic and ace as a brick), and, well, I’m honestly not curious enough to give the subject a thorough study. My mind tends to fixate on other things. 
What does this have to do with Entrapdak, you ask? Long story short for people who don’t want to read my meandering essay -- I relate a lot to these characters, and the way they bonded together struck a deep chord in me that I can’t ignore. 
Let’s start with the characters. I knew going in that Entrapta was neurodivergent-coded, but I took it with a grain of salt. When I actually watched the show, however, I found myself relating to her so deeply it shocked me. Never have I felt such a kinship with a fictional character! We don’t share every trait, but it was still like seeing my brain put to life on screen. I related to her enthusiasm over her special interests, her struggles to fit in, her desire to make friends who accept and understand her for who she is. 
The fact Entrapta is completely herself is something I love about her. Over the years of growing up undiagnosed, I developed a lot of masking strategies. Human psychology is one of my special interests, and even with all that accumulated knowledge, masking isn’t easy. It’s extremely mentally taxing. Masking can certainly look easy -- I can, when I have the drive and energy, “pass” as neurotypical, and only people who know me extremely well can tell I’m dying inside. All that effort is taken for granted by a lot of NTs because that’s how people are “supposed to” act, and surely I can “do the bare minimum.” The accumulated stress of near constant masking has led me to the darkest moments I’ve had in my life.
Entrapta’s struggle with leaving Beast Island hit me hard. It threw me back to a time when my feelings of isolation and worthlessness got so bad that I lost the energy to do anything, even the creative pursuits that were the obsession of my life. I retreated so deeply into my inner world that I hardly interacted with anyone. That total apathy shocked my family into getting me professional help, which gave me my autism diagnosis, the coping skills to move forward, and a good start on the road to self-acceptance. It also opened a channel between my family and I, allowing me to feel heard and understood. (An important side note on mental health: if you or someone you love needs professional help, please seek it! Sometimes you have to try out several therapists -- it took me three to find a good fit -- but you are worth it!)
It took me longer to realize, but I also relate to Hordak in some ways. Mercifully I was not raised in an extremist cult environment. However, I know what it’s like to feel defective next to a sibling that seems perfect. I was constantly being compared to my younger brother, and in all areas but art, he was superior. He was smart, athletic, and above all, he fit in with everyone. I didn’t hate him for this -- I hated myself. Trying to measure up to his standard is what caused me to develop such strong masking strategies. Underneath it all, I felt the despair of knowing my peers would reject me as soon as the mask cracked. I also live with chronic joint pain, starting at around age seven. The jury is still out on what’s causing that (the worst of it was due to a previously unknown food allergy, but the pain still comes and goes, even though it’s a lot more manageable than it used to be). This cocktail of pain, stress, and sensory issues I had to deal with gave me a very short fuse at times. 
As an aside, just because I sympathize with Hordak does not mean I am excusing his actions. He is still going to have to face the consequences of his choices, and work to adjust to life post-Prime. The series end gave him a new beginning, the opportunity to be redeemed, and I prefer this to a rushed redemption arc. 
What I love most about Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship is how they accept each other as they are. Hordak gives Entrapta near free reign of his sanctum, he listens to her when she talks, and he respects her opinions. Even when he pushes her away, he still considers the logic of what she tells him, and sometimes ends up doing things her way despite his initial instincts. This is something I do in my own life; I am easily overwhelmed by new information, so my initial response to an idea/activity is almost always a firm (and sometimes rude) “no,” until I have time to properly process and think about it. Hordak is the first person in Entrapta’s life that truly listens to her. He still has things he needs to work on, but it’s a lot better than how most of the princesses are with Entrapta. The Alliance treats her as someone to be managed -- she is useful, but unreliable. Hordak, in contrast, trusts her to get things done in her own way. 
On the other side, Entrapta is the first person in Hordak’s life to accept him without judgment. Hordak spends so much of his energy putting up a front of strength and intimidation, and Entrapta cuts right through that. She’s not frightened by his appearance, and even his outbursts have little effect on her until the two of them start to bond. Entrapta doesn’t come into their interactions with any preconceived ideas of what Hordak is like, or more importantly, what he should be like. This lack of expectation leaves her completely open to accepting whatever Hordak does and says, and it also relieves Hordak of the burden of needing to put on a front around her. When Entrapta sees him at his most vulnerable, she reaches out to him with compassion, something he has never felt before. Entrapta also does this in a way that doesn’t belittle Hordak. His imperfections are not something to pity, they are a valuable part of who he is. 
I loved watching their friendship develop. Entrapta and Hordak’s shared time together evolved slowly into a bond that gave each of them a sense of belonging they had never experienced before with anyone else. It gave me the hope that, despite what an oddball mess I am, perhaps I could find someone who understands me too. 
When a romance subplot inserts itself into a story, I tend to gloss over and ignore it (if I pick up on it at all). I’m even less interested in sex. Way back when I was first getting into fandom I was so excited to go online and meet fellow fans of the books and shows I liked, only to discover the spaces being dominated by arguments over character pairings. I was baffled. This is what people are most interested in? Oh well… back to the hermit cave I go! 
I was late to the party with SPoP. I’d watched a few episodes, but the show didn’t really hook me. This was partially because all I ever heard people talk about online was Catradora, and if that was the main appeal of the show, I wasn’t sure I would enjoy it (sorry Catradora shippers, romance is not going to entice me to watch a show, even if it’s rep). Quarantine was the ultimate cause for me embracing my curiosity and diving headfirst into SPoP, binging the entire thing a few months before the release of season 5.
I vaguely knew about Entrapdak as a ship going into the show, and I admit, had I not been primed for it, I probably would have missed the romantic potential entirely. In no way did I expect to become invested. I was immediately intrigued by their dynamic, and as they got closer, I found myself thinking “oh, I see why people ship these two.” I didn’t understand this realization until months later. I was relating to the characters, and for the first time in my life, I was relating to their relationship.
I headcanon Entrapta and Hordak as an asexual couple. I’ll elaborate on this at a later time (asexuality is a spectrum with a lot of nuance, and this post is plenty long already), but at the core of it, I find joy in imagining these characters in a loving platonic relationship, something I hope to find myself one day. I hope this love comes across in my artwork and in my fanfictions <3
To those of you that read this far, wow, you must be patient! Have an imaginary cookie! I hope this ramble has provided a decent picture for why I, as an aro ace on the autism spectrum, have come to cherish Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship. It’s my first and only OTP… I’m still in shock thinking about that… I guess we’ll see where things go from here!
Take care of yourselves out there!
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