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#take some late night doodles
sea-of-souls1100 · 2 years
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they sure are ranching <33
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solargeist · 4 days
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Can we pretty please get a Grian and Xelqua meet-up?? I love how you draw Xelqua and Grian and I just need to see what they would do if they meet......for science of course
wait hold on.. goes crazy .. I don’t have a design for Xelqua, that was just Grian earlier, but…. I think it’d go well
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I think Xelqua is his patron, so he’d be excited to meet him !
but I was also playing with the idea that Little Grian here is a reincarnated version of Xelqua, but still looks up to him, prays to him, would want to be picked up and hugged by him, the safety of it. (How can he be reincarnated and still have a form here ? Well the divine can be a bit finicky)
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ahhrenata · 1 year
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hydrangeyes · 5 months
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*has been playing stardew valley again and now has intense thoughts and ideas on sebastian and if he wasn't judged or brushed off as lazy making him retreat and stick to himself for the most part*
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macfrog · 3 months
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sweet child o' mine | pt. iii
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now taking name suggestions for my joel's duck doodle. must rhyme with a curse word. most creative wins.
pairing: neighbor!joel x fem!reader
summary: as your pregnancy progresses, you and joel are getting closer. dangerously closer.
warnings: reader is literally pregnant so typical pregnancy symptoms & descriptions of stuff like extreme nausea and gagging (reader throws up off-page, no graphic description past sore throat/esophagus afterward), body changing, nerves around birth/becoming mom, another sonogram (gender reveal...?), baby kicks felt, labor pains shhh, age gap (late 20s reader, late 40s joel), joel is dating someone who isn't reader, our girl hates nye (she's valid), tommy uses colors to represent gender (he is Wrong), joel is for sure emotionally cheating at this point and reader knows it, joel kisses someone who is not his partner again, f masturbation, memories of the hot dirty sex they had whew, a SPRINKLING of breeding kink, praise kink, size kink, another parent dies (i love parents i promise ????), jealous!reader, protective!joel, alcohol consumption, cursing, a LOT of angst, lots of fluff, lil bit of smut, and duckie has the best comedic timing of any character in this entire series. :) DISCLAIMER: this series covers some issues which i know may be sensitive and possibly triggering to some. warnings will always be as thorough as possible, but if there’s ever anything you feel i’ve missed, please let me know. feel free to drop by my inbox anytime.
word count: 11.4k (sorry. lots to cover lots to do.)
pt. i / series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🩵
December.
The days are funneled by a quick pinch of dark, the breeze heavy in its sail. Houses lined with twinkling lights and windows pierced by pointed trees. Crooning from every radio station, teary-eyed movies on TV, and spiced apple everything.
You hate every fucking minute of it.
“Wait a second,” Tommy sits forward, leaning in, “you never do nothin’ for New Years?”
You shrug, lifting your eyebrows. “Nope. Just don’t like it much. That a crime?”
He considers it as he hands his empty tumbler up to Joel, his head lolling some. He’s on his…fourth drink of the night, right? Though, if you take into account his earlier argument – I’m eatin’ as I go. It don’t count. – it’s probably more like two. But it’s whiskey, so –
Never mind.
“Yeah,” Tommy finally decides, “kinda. The hell’s wrong with you, girl?”
“Tommy.”
Joel’s voice is a warning, edged by the sharp clink of three glasses pinched in his fingers.
His brother laughs amiably in response, though, nodding to your mock-offended expression. “At least you’re spendin’ it right this year. Last one before lil’ Dickie comes along, huh?”
Maria slaps his shoulder, rolling her eyes. “It’s Duckie,” she hisses, glancing over to you.
“Shoot,” he says, chuckling. “I knew that. My mistake.” And then, hand out towards you in an apology which makes your shoulders jerk with laughter, “I did know that, I swear.”
Tommy and Maria flew in a few days ago; the younger Miller adamant that he’d spend one last New Years with his big brother before he became a father. The night they arrived, they showed up on your doorstep – a hamper filled with diapers and muslins and baby socks hanging from Maria’s arm. They’ve asked to hang out with you every day since.
They’re good fun. Tommy likes you, at least, enough to tease you as much as you figure a brother might. He’s definitely the louder of the two – sometimes you swear you notice Joel cringing at him, something caught between a laugh and a frown on his face. And Maria’s sweet; she’s asked probably six times every hour since she first saw you if you’re feeling okay, if you’re tired, if you’re hungry.
Joel text you yesterday morning. Tommy and Maria wondering if you feel like coming over for NYE. No pressure, he added, I lie pretty good.
A smile snuck its way across your lips before you had the chance to tame it. Sure, you typed, I’ll bring the newspaper.
What Joel’s told them, about the wedding and the baby and everything since, you’ve no idea. You guys almost talked about it when he told you they were flying down after Christmas, but before you got the chance to ask him, Vanessa pulled up out front.
Not exactly a conversation you felt like having with the dude’s girlfriend hooked around his right arm.
She smiles at you, now, as you shuffle to the edge of the armchair you’re curled up in. Joel’s armchair – the plaid blanket cradling you, the leather soft and crinkled beneath. Your eyes quickly drop from hers when his hand reaches for your mug, your fingers crossing as you pass it up. “Let me come help,” you say, pushing from the chair.
He holds up a palm, shaking his head once. “Stay. I got it.”
“Thanks,” you murmur, settling back. Vanessa resumes smiling. You wish she’d fucking quit it. You wish you’d fucking quit focusing on her.
Joel knocks the mug gently against your shoulder with a small, almost sympathetic smile, and heads for the kitchen – leaving you sat between Tommy and Maria on one couch, and Vanessa on the other. You tuck your heels under your thighs, picking at a hangnail as you wait for the conversation to thaw.
Maria makes some comment about Austin in the winter: how different it is to Jackson, and the three of you nod and hum in agreement before the chatter fizzles to nothing again. You glance over to the clock, watching the hands chase one another to twelve.
This isn’t what you imagined a get-together with Joel’s family would feel like. Tight, tense. So tense that you can feel the weight on your chest, closing your lungs. Talking about the weather and the holiday traffic, talking about nothing to avoid talking about everything.
Tommy’s chin lifts, after a second too long of silence. “Hey, Joel!” he barks. “You ain’t shown me this nursery yet!”
Joel leans around the doorframe, half-distracted. “Barely even started it, little brother. Crib only got delivered yesterday.”
“Sheesh,” Maria’s eyes widen, “you sure are prepared.”
Vanessa laughs when Joel rolls his eyes and vanishes again. “You got no idea,” she says, “I have never seen him so…pedantic, right?” She looks to you, still smiling. So sweet, you worry your lips are pursing at the sight of it. Your neck tensing. Your eyes watering.
“Yeah,” you reply, nodding shyly and swallowing back the saccharine. “I think he’s more nervous than he’s letting on.”
Joel’s voice calls from the kitchen again: your name. When you answer, he says, “Why don’t you take Tommy up, show ‘im what we got so far?” and then, leaning back around the door, “She picked the color ‘n whatnot.”
“Ah,” Tommy says, palms pushing down on his knees, “so you’re the brains, then?”
You mirror him, accepting Joel’s request. As though you had any choice in the first place. Standing beside the younger Miller, you mutter, “Sure. Let’s go with that.”
He holds a hand out to usher you ahead, following you upstairs. Past the tousle-haired boy in grayscale, past the German shepherd, past the Christmas Day portrait. Wandering like you know the house inside out, like you might’ve picked the exact coordinates of each nail the picture frames hang on yourself.
Like the photographs pinned to the walls aren’t still as alien to you as they’d been that day you first set foot in here, the dress Joel would come to tear from your body slung over your arm.
You twist the gold handle and unveil a homely little room, painted by you and Joel just last week. The soft blue drying into his knuckles, random splatters on your palms and your jeans. The giggles drawn from your chest; the thief either the chemicals from the paint, or the man rolling it over the walls – and you’ve a pretty good idea of which.
Tommy sniffs roughly, nodding. Taps the toe of his boot against one of the two bulky boxes leant against the wall, a crib printed on one and a rocking chair on the other. His tipsy head bob bob bobbing. “Alright. ‘s nice, ain’t it?”
You settle against the window, the glass cold at your back. “Real nice, yeah. Be even better once it’s done.”
“What’s yours look like?”
“Mine?”
“Nursery at your place. Your one pink, ‘case it’s a girl?”
You snort. “Mine is a little greener. More…I guess it’s duck egg. Had some leftover paint.”
He clicks his fingers and points to you. “See what you did there. Duck egg. Duckie.”
“Hm. Wish I were that poetic. I just like the color.”
Tommy stuffs his hands in his pockets, wanders around the bare room. The faint lingering of whiskey putting up its best fight against the clean bite of fresh paint, the sweet scent shaking from him when he nods some more at the blank walls and naked windows. He clicks his teeth and asks, “How you holdin’ up, anyways?”
“How am I holding up?”
“Yep. With, uh…” he nods to the door, eyes wide, “…Vanessa,” he whispers. Louder than he must think – probably echoed, if anything, by the palm he curves around his mouth.
You cross your arms protectively, shoulders bunching. “She’s fine,” you say, voice deliberately low. You both ignore the crack in it when you add, “I like her. She’s – she’s taken this all like a champ.”
Tommy leans on the window ledge, a rugged hand you reckon you’d know was a Miller’s just by looking at it. Same rough-cut quality as Joel’s, like they’re torn from the same sheet of sandpaper. He props the other on his hip. “But, boy – it’s gotta be complicated, right?”
“I guess. But she’s real sweet about it. And Joel’s been great, too.” You sniff, the memory of your kiss flashing behind your eyes. The steady drum of Duck’s heartbeat, the gleam in Joel’s eye when he looked down at you. The guilt seeping from your skin like beads of sweat, prickling along your spine and fizzling against the cold windowpane.
Tommy blinks at you, liquor-glazed eyes scanning. His shoulders jerk, a loud huh propelling from his throat. When your head cocks in confusion, startled from your daydream, he spills. “He ‘n I had a mighty long talk when he told me.”
You feel yourself leaning in, magnetized to him – body hunched as though you’re gossiping in the corner of a house party. Inhaling secrets with the tinge of alcohol on Tommy’s breath. “Oh, yeah?”
Tommy hums. “Just wanted to make sure he’d thought it all through. Not you – I always knew he’d take care a’ you and Duck. But…involving Vanessa,” he lowers his voice again, glancing over to the warm light spilling in from the hallway, “I just wanted him to be sure.”
Your blood begins to warm, heat flooding through your body as you step closer, murmuring, “What’d he say?”
He flicks his head, seeming to toss his initial response to the wind. “You know Joel. He is his own man.”
Your face screws, head jerking back. “What’s that mean? He is his own man?”
A voice from the doorway interrupts. A shadow swimming in the golden light. “Who is?”
Tommy steps away from you, loosening his arms as his big brother drifts into the shadowy room. Dusting the conversation under the rug. The smell of whiskey backs off. “Speak of the devil. Nice paint job, Joel. Missed a couple spots, but – I’ll let you off.”
“Uhuh.” Joel’s eyes thin, his body slanted against the wall. Arms crossed, bottle of beer hanging from his fingers.
Tommy swaggers forward when Joel holds the bottle out, taking it with a wary glance at the tall figure. A dog meandering back to his owner, tail between his legs and ears flat. It takes his gritty voice to jolt you back to the room, splintering your gaze from Joel’s toned arms and huge chest. “Looks real good, you two. ‘s one lucky kid.”
Joel’s jaw lifts, his eyes landing on you. Dogs are terrible liars. “He talkin’ your ear off?”
You smile; recognizing the softer Joel you’ve grown used to over the last three months replacing the stern, cold version you once knew so well. “Only a little.”
“Tommy,” he says then, “Maria needs you for somethin’.”
The denim-donned Miller nods knowingly and heads out of the room, thud of his boots receding downstairs.
“Maria okay?” you ask, making space for Joel as he settles beside you.
He shrugs. “Only said that to get him outta your hair.”
You frown. “You sent me up here with him in the first place.”
“So I could come up ‘n check on you. Know this must be a lot – the two of them, tonight.”
“I’m fine. Promise. I’m a big girl.”
You both sigh, turning to look out at the dark street. Your arms cross, sitting somewhere above the tiny slope of your bump – a new development you’re still getting used to. Your stomach feels tighter, a little more solid than usual when you touch it. A little more…real. There’s someone in there, right? Like, actually there. They’re changing the way you look, the way you feel.
“This is it, right?” you say, staring at the white lanterns illuminating Alice Brown’s rose bushes. “This is the year.”
“The year,” Joel agrees.
“Mhm. Become a mom. Become a dad.”
He purses his lips. “Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve had bigger years, kid.”
“Let’s hear it, old man. Let’s hear about your biggest year. God knows you’ve had plenty to choose from.”
He sucks a deep breath in, eyes tracing the silhouette of the houses across the street as he thinks. “Senior year, nineteen ninety-three. Asked Stacy Moore as my date to the prom ‘n she said yes. I was so nervous that I forgot my bow tie. Was a pretty good year.”
You hum, agreeing, and then, “I see your ninety-three, and I raise you: two thousand and one. There was this bike I wanted for-fucking-ever; it had, like, little beads on the spokes – would make this ratatatat sound whenever it moved. Tassels hanging from the handlebars, all iridescent. I begged my mom the entire year for it, and on Christmas morning I woke up, and…” You lift your hands, air puffing from between your lips. “Santa Claus delivered that year, dude.”
“Well,” Joel clicks his teeth, shell hardening only a little, “thanks for making me feel old as hell.”
“You’re welcome.” You beam back at him, breaking into a laugh when he does.
The two of you stand a little distance apart, denying yourselves the innocent brushing of shoulder against shoulder, the nudging of elbows and swaying of hips. Admiring the empty sky and emptier street, bathing between the cold moonlight of outside and the warm lamplight in.
And from somewhere deep in your belly, somewhere tucked behind your ribs, beneath your slow-growing womb: an urge to ask about her. To bring her up. To tend to the curiosity that Tommy poked a clumsy, drunken finger straight into, tearing it apart at the seams.
Like pressing on a new bruise, satiating the hungry need to know where you were hurt, how you were hurt, when you were hurt. A bent fingertip, pushing heavily into a sensitive splatter of dark purple; the burst blood vessels hissing in response, whispering, You don’t know, and you don’t want to know.
But you defy them. You do want to know. Want to satisfy the disturbed thrill you felt, leaning into Joel’s brother. Hands turning over one another, wet bottom lip trembling as he rounded the corner on some sort of…what was it, a secret? Some sort of truth, a long-buried revelation about the other woman. She’s a witch, have you spotted her crooked nose? She’s plotting something, I swear. She’s up to no good.
Your eyes lift again, focusing back on the dull color of the outside world. The bland canvas of reality. She’s not a witch, nor some genius mastermind. She’s a boring, relatively normal woman. Kind, thoughtful. Naïve and a little too eager to please; too willing to forgive a situation which warrants no such kindness or empathy.
She’s just…fine. Lukewarm. And you’ve no idea why that pisses you off so much.
Which, incidentally, makes the bruise sting all the more.
“Maria, Maria,” Tommy’s voice claws its way upstairs, “turn it on, turn it – Joel? Joel! It’s midnight, Joel, you two better come on down, now! Have we missed it –? Have we –?”
The sound of cheering slowly bubbles to life behind his drawl as the TV volume picks up, the tittering of Maria and Vanessa chiming in.
“…five, four, three, two, one…Happy New Year!”
Joel’s looking over his shoulder, waiting for footsteps or voices or a girlfriend who never shows. And he ignores his brother, for he is his own man, and turns to you instead. Bracing himself on the ledge, he blinks down with a plain grin on his lips. “Happy New Year, Mom,” he whispers.
You return his smile, taking his hand when he reaches out to you. “Happy New Year, Dad,” you reply, squeezing his palm.
He pulls you in for a hug, kissing your cheek briskly as you hook your arms over his shoulders. His beard scratches your cheek, grazes the curve of your shoulder, and you don’t mind. Your small, swollen belly presses against his; the tiny curve safe in the midst of your embrace.
Outside, the sky crackles to life with the distant spatter of fireworks, color shattering across the black canvas – red, blue, green and gold, dissolving as quickly as they explode into the now-January night. A burst of purple light washes between the two of you, and you turn your head on Joel’s shoulder to watch as the sparks rain over your neighbors’ roofs.
“I should get goin’,” you whisper, feeling his heartbeat a little too strongly against your own. Becoming suddenly aware of the weight of your frames locked together.
“Glad you came,” he says as he leans away. “I know this ain’t…I know we’re all tryin’, but you’re tryin’ the most, and I appreciate it. I hope you know that.”
“I know it,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “Now, go. Go kiss your girlfriend.”
He chuckles, making for the door. “You want me to walk you home?”
Your eyes close serenely, the image of him doused in flickers of gold burning behind your eyelids. “I’ll survive the walk across the hedgerow, Miller.”
Joel nods once and leaves, plodding downstairs to be greeted by his open-armed girlfriend, a peck between them, arms crossed behind his neck. The lyrics of Auld Lang Syne slurred against his lips.
And you think – You know what? If it’ll rip you apart from her, if it’ll keep her bright red lips and her shining curtain of hair away from you, if it’ll stop her sucking in your air and your smell and your attention for thirty fucking seconds –
Then, yeah. Walk me home. Stay for a drink. Sleep in the goddamn guestroom.
Walk me home.
You slip out of the front door when the two couples are in the kitchen, missing Joel’s calling your name – or perhaps just ignoring it altogether.
“Spread the love at St. David’s this Valentine’s Day…”
Joel slows alongside a wall of cerise hearts, each one fluttering like wings whenever the hospital doors slide open and the breeze sneaks inside. Slips scrawled with names and messages: Love you M! and J + A, crude drawings of stick figures holding hands. Your lips curl into a smirk, watching him flick through each one as you palm your round stomach.
You just saw Duck for the second time. The last time, Freya was kind enough to mention, before they’re tearing you in two. Sorry, she mouthed when your expression dropped, and went back to twisting the probe over your stomach. Silently.
You’re getting better at it, you think. Playing Mom. Like some little game of make-believe, which is only real for as long as you’re looking it square in the eye – attending doctor’s appointments, updating the neighbors on your newest list of symptoms en route to your mailbox.
A little surer on your feet, now that you’ve found a balance to it: taking it as seriously as it warrants, a dry little pill stuck on the cliff of your throat, and making it easier to swallow with humor like water, a huge gulp anytime the fear claws its way up your spine.
And no more panic, since at least before Christmas. Only a little flustered this afternoon when Freya asked if you wanted to know the sex.
It felt too big a thing to hear, too real. You’re only just getting used to the backache and the bleeding gums. (And why didn’t you know that your gums would bleed? Isn’t that something they should fucking warn you about? Congrats, you’re pregnant: prepare for blood seeping from your jaw.)
No. No, thanks. Your head shot around to Joel. No, right?
He shrugged. Makes no difference to me.
Are you sure?
I’m sure, kid. Promise.
‘cause we can find out. I mean – if you want to.
He rocked forward on the balls of his feet, tapping you amiably on the shoulder. I don’t. You’re good.
You don’t?
No, I – He sighed, a hand dragging through his hair. If you want to, I want to. If you don’t, I don’t. Alright?
Freya bit back a laugh, the closed fist over her lips doing little to hide it. You guys should write a book on co-parenting.
But then she left the room again, closed the door on that same old little bubble – the three of you perched on the bed, you and Joel blinking up at the grains of your child onscreen – and you cried. Again. More.
Everything clearer, everything even more human than before: the globe of their skull, the tiny slope of their nose. All glowing in the dark waves of your womb, twinkling like the most beautiful constellation you could ever come across. Their ankles were crossed, feet forming a tiny heart shape in the top corner of the sonogram. Your hand lifted to point it out to Joel, and before the words found voice, you choked and broke down again.
He held you, lips to your hair, body solid as a rock as you melted into him in waves of salty tears. Smiled that honey-glazed smile and said he was so proud of you, said, look what your body’s doin’, darlin’, look what you’re growin’ – which only made you weep more.
And you pretended not to wait for it – for the moment when you might tilt your head up and your lips might line with his, and he might close the achy space between you again, might shush your cries by stealing the air from your lungs and the beat from your heart.
But he didn’t.
Which is fine.
Right?
“Somethin’ on your mind, kid?” he asks now, eyes still glued to the sea of hearts.
Your stare snaps from him instantly, unaware it was even held there. You tug on the hem of your sweater and pull the sleeves over your hands, mumbling, “Fine, I’m – I’m just…Come on, man. I’m hungry. I didn’t eat lunch today.”
“’n whose fault is that?”
You glower at him. “How considerate,” you seethe, “Vanessa’s a fucking lucky woman, you know that?”
He ignores you, a dumb smile on his face. The usual. “Let’s leave one for ‘em.”
A hot temper begins to boil below the surface of your skin, squeezing between your teeth in a fist-swinging breath. Also the usual these days, apparently. “For who?”
“Duckie. Somethin’ to mark the second scan. Last time we see them, before –”
Your hand flies up, eyes closing with a wince. Shut the fuck up. “Enough. I know.”
Joel hms, still smiling to himself. His beard has grown out a little: thicker, darker, gray sewn through like little whip stitches lining his jaw. He fishes a heart shape from the tub along with a pen, which he twirls annoyingly around his fingers as he thinks.
You sink back against the clinical white wall, an offensively bright color, holding your cheeks up in something of a smile when a nurse wanders past, nodding to both of you. Your face drops back to a scowl as soon as she’s over Joel’s shoulder, and your eyes meet his again – his brows raised, expectant.
“What?” you ask, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
He holds the slip up. “What we gonna write?”
And whatever charm the moment may have held, withers instantly. You throw your arms up petulantly. “You wanted to do it! Pick something. See you soon, or something, I don’t fucking know.”
“I don’t fucking know,” Joel muses, creases by his eyes when he smirks. “Poignant.”
“That’s what you should write,” you step closer, shoving your shoulder into his as you study the trembling hearts on the board, “if you can spell poignant, write that.”
“Hilarious,” he mutters, bending to scribble onto the shape, shielding his work from your view when you hang around his shoulder to pry. Cupping over the message until he’s straightening up, tossing the pen back to the desk, stealing a pin from the tub.
“Let me read,” you protest, tugging on his flannel sleeve.
“I will,” he says, shaking you off. “Patience, darlin’.”
Joel turns to the wall and pins the heart higher than the rest, in a spot clear of its own on the corkboard – thick arms stretching higher higher higher and pulling your gaze with them. As he steps back, he takes you gently by the waist and positions you in front of his body, your shoulders brushing against his chest. Your ribs hold your heart back from hammering into his.
You push up onto your tiptoes and squint at the note, which quivers when the hospital doors pull open again. “Mom and…Mom and Dad f…You fucking…”
Joel dodges your batting arm, snickering with you as he turns to make for the exit. “You don’t like it?” he tosses over his shoulder.
The heart stares down at you, black ink carved into the paper, watching as you turn and hurry after him, giggling. “Mom and Dad fuckin love you? So much for my potty mouth. And the –” another wheezing laugh you’d otherwise be ashamed to let him hear, “– the drawing? It looks – it looks more like a giraffe than a duck. Or, like, you know those long-necked dinosaurs?”
Joel’s head tips back, his own laughter caught up by the breeze when you wander outside, slipping your wrist around the crook of his elbow. Something infectious about it, something which stirs your own laughter until you’re walking arm in arm to the truck with a man who, six months ago, you’d barely look at twice over the fence.
The blind rage bubbling from your empty stomach seems to dissipate, dwindled to nothing in the face of that same man – his swollen cheeks and crows-feet eyes. And you say, “You’re disgustingly sentimental, you know that? Like, sickening.”
And Joel smirks, the way he always fucking does, and says, “You love it. Can’t lie to me.”
“I love it,” you concede, nudging into him as he opens the door for you.
The drive home is quiet, but not uncomfortable. There’s another thing you’re getting good at: being around Joel without need for snide remarks, without feeling your tongue curl under the weight of some snappy quip, loaded and aimed. Being around him and talking about Duck, asking how Tommy and Maria are. Forcing your teeth and tongue to carve out words which ask how Vanessa is, what she’s up to, when he’s seeing her next.
None of this is ideal, that’s for sure. Joel’s girlfriend aside, you’ve spent the last five months cohabiting your body with a stranger who lives most peacefully in the eye of a raging tornado of hormones – flitting between fits of giggles and pulsating joy in your veins, to waves of tears and an anger so hot beneath your skin that you wonder if your emotions might dry up completely by the time this is all through.
It's tough. It’s scary. And some nights you lie in bed, alone, wet eyes fixed on nothing, waiting for someone to burst into the room and announce that it’s all a prank. Just a silly joke. You and Joel can go back to tossing newspapers and casting glowers.
But for now, sat in the passenger seat of his truck – the seatbelt warped around the curve of your belly, the Eagles lilting softly from the radio – it feels like you’re making a home out of that tornado, too. Feeling the swirling walls of wind toss your hair like the breeze through the truck window; the chilled caress of the evening around your outstretched arm, soaring down the highway.
Yeah, you think. I can make something outta this.
“You know what I’m craving?”
Joel’s watching the light, waiting for green. “What’s that?”
“A fucking bagel. Cream cheese, pastrami,” you groan.
He snorts, cringing when he adds, “Pickles?”
A moan tears from the base of your throat, head lolling against your seat. “I could orgasm just thinking about it.”
The light turns, and Joel swings right. “I’d rather you didn’t,” he mutters, turning the wheel with one palm. “I got bagels back at the house, if you want one.”
You stare at him, jaw loose, saliva pooling behind your bottom lip. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
He smiles, shaking his head. “Let me make you one, ‘fore you go home. Big day, ‘n all.”
And you hate it – hate the way your cheeks fill with a genuine happiness, something swollen and achy, impossible to ignore when it lifts your eyes and hurts your teeth. Appreciation, or admiration, perhaps, that you figure you’ll only ever have for him. You don’t know what the fuck to call it.
So you sum it up into three words. “That’d be nice,” you whisper, and Joel places his hand over your knee, shaking it lightly as he drives on.
It stays there, until he’s pulling into his driveway.
He pushes the front door open and steps back, an arm extended to let you by first. An after you, ma’am, between his lips. And you turn to make some mocking joke, the beginnings of some comment about how gentlemanly he is, when you’re socked square on the nose by a heavy-fisted, bitter scent.
“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, stumbling backwards across the threshold and onto the porch again. Your throat constricting around nothing, your tongue twisting, your stomach lurching.
Joel catches you just in time to stop you from falling on your ass. “The hell’s the m–? Oh.”
“Hi!” Vanessa calls from the kitchen, leaning around the doorframe to wave you both in. “Almost ready! Take a seat.”
“V–? Hey, sweetheart?” Joel calls back, one hand around your wrist and the other between your shoulders. “What – what’s cookin’?”
She pauses, glancing back at the stove. Pulls the dish towel between her hands taut. “I…I made pasta.”
“Yeah, what kind, sweet?”
“…Bolognese.”
He can’t cover his own sigh quick enough. Thick with something which feels like anger. “Shit,” he turns back to you, “I am so sorry.”
You pull in a deep, unsteady breath, your lungs struggling to separate night air from tomato juice. A weight rolling at the bottom of your stomach, your entire body beginning to tremble with it. “I feel like I’m gonna – Joel, I’m gonna –”
“Breathe,” he whispers, voice urgent, palm slipping to cup your jaw. “Just breathe for me.”
But your throat’s tightening, swallowing hard around gags which come stronger and quicker the more you try to fight them down. “I can still fucking smell it –”
Her shadow blocks the stretch of light from the house. A nervous little thing, a timid creature’s shadow stretched wide across the porch floor. “Is…everything okay?”
“It’s – it’s fine,” Joel sighs again, torn between comforting you and letting Vanessa down gently, “it’s just – tomato is one of her…her aversions.” He’s unable to pull his eyes from you, privately asking, “Are you okay?” when Vanessa turns back to the kitchen.
“I didn’t – I didn’t know,” she mumbles, thumbnail between her teeth. “I am so sorry.”
Suddenly, your will not to throw up is overpowered by your will to tell her, “It’s fine,” sucking in a deep, sickly breath before adding, “I’m just gonna – I should go.”
“I don’t want you to go,” Joel says, his teeth guarding the words from his girlfriend.
“I’m gonna clean up in here,” Vanessa points over her shoulder, and you think she must’ve heard him, “get outta your hair. I’m so sorry, again. I would’ve never…”
Joel lets go of you as you stagger backwards, the cold air tearing down your throat to meet the burning acid tickling up your esophagus. “Please don’t apologize,” you lift a weak hand, “how could you have known? I’ll –” another sharp gasp, “– I’ll see you guys around.”
He must say your name, must try once more to pull you back to his side, but the blood’s rushing through your ears, and your heart’s pounding at the back of your tongue, and your stomach’s notching its way up your spine. You make it to your kitchen sink just in time.
He keeps you waiting all of one hour before he’s calling you. Your arm reaches over to your nightstand, fumbling in the dark for your heavy phone, the screen cold against your cheek.
“Mhm?”
“Are you okay?”
Your lungs pull a deep, slow breath. The acid painted across your throat tickles as the air passes by it, an uncomfortable, scratchy feeling.“Mhm.”
“That a lie?”
“Only a little. Is Vanessa okay?”
He takes a second to answer. Lets go of whatever he was going to say with a sigh, replacing it with, “She just left.”
“Is she mad at us?”
Another second. “Just me. Not you.”
You massage the slope below your breasts, the ache in your esophagus throbbing when you move. “Why just you?”
Ruffling, like he’s settling back into his couch. Sinking into the cushion, his body as heavy as yours feels on your mattress. “I should’ve told her you didn’t like tomatoes. ‘cause now I’m a goddamn mind reader. I mean, why the hell wouldn’t my girlfriend be in my house cookin’ a damn pasta dish while I’m out, y’know? Jesus Christ.”
“Joel,” you turn slowly onto your back, bravely waiting for the waves of nausea still lapping around your stomach to turn with you, “it was a nice thing, what she did. She didn’t mean to…She probably thought she was helping.”
“Naw, I know,” he replies, the sharp bite of his words softening again, shrinking under yours. “I don’t care about her and her helping, though, darlin’, I care about y –” He barely catches it in time. “I care about you carrying my child, and I care about making sure you don’t spend your nights fuckin’…throwing up tomato sauce.”
You gulp, neck convulsing. The backwash of bile swallowed back. Your chest floods with a heat of quick panic. “Can we…maybe…not use the word? I just –”
“Sorry, baby. Sorry. This is just – it’s a lot easier if she would just…”
Your eyes close over, a salty sting sweeping behind them. If she would just lay off. Back off. Fuck off. “…but she won’t, Joel. She loves you. ‘n you…”
The words drift off, taken by the tide, swept off into silence. And neither of you bother with trying to retrieve them – you just watch, stood safe on the shoreline, as they fold under the waves of something too big for either of you to acknowledge. Too dark, too dangerous.
So, you say, “I get it,” instead; say, “I get why you’re mad. Just – let’s forget about it, okay? Sorry for…ruining dinner.”
Joel scoffs, that old, pissed-off Joel scoff. You can see his deadened expression on the back of your eyelids. You may as well have just thrown his newspaper to the end of the earth. “You know damn well that you didn’t ruin anything. How you feelin’?”
“Tired. Throat kinda hurts.”
“Still feel like that pastrami bagel?”
“Not really. Sorry. Appetite’s gone.”
“How about a water?”
“I got some here. Thanks.”
“Okay,” Joel sniffs, “how about: you take the hint and let me come over there to see you?”
You giggle, hand over your eyes to mask your expression from the dark. “I hate you. Yeah, come over. Door’s unlocked.”
Date night – six month anniversary or whatever. Call me if you need anything.
And I mean anything. OK?
Your thumbs hover over the two gray messages, an awkward jig as your brain scrambles to offer words back. Where are you guys going? Too interested. Too weird. OK, what if I’m bored? Delete delete delete. Trying too hard. Sure, have a good n–
The ellipsis pops up and you freeze. A stupidly polite swish delivers Joel’s third text.
Boredom counts as anything, by the way.
And the fucker steals another smile from you. You notice it when you look up, clocking yourself in the mirror. Accompanied by a warmth which drips down your spine, swirls around your tummy; a fluttering you’re not sure is Duckie or something else.
Have a good night, Dad, you type back, tossing the phone to the end of your bed when you hit send. Swiping for a pillow, holding it firm to your face. Pressing so deep into the plush that even the linen won’t be able to see your grin.
Joel told you about this six-month anniversary last week. He wasn’t too thrilled about it then, either. Dinner to celebrate six months? A year, fair enough. But six months?
You swallowed your pride, swallowed the same throttling ecstasy which seeped through your pores on New Year’s Eve, on that February evening she cooked– never mind; a desperate desire to tear apart the very notion of Vanessa and her cutesy little date nights and candlelit dinners. I think it’s a fun idea, you said. Y’all should do it.
And Joel listened. Because he always fucking listens to you, these days. Listens when you tell him that you like the watermelon Sour Patch Kids best, and picks them up anytime he’s at the store. Listens to you when you tell him he should move the crib away from the window, in case the streetlights shine on Duck while they sleep.
Listens when you ramble about how sore your feet are, how heavy your belly feels, how there’s a clammy heat lingering under your skin at all times, bubbling and bubbling and never rising to anything more than steam collecting on the underside of your flesh.
Listens when you tell him to go spend time with his girlfriend. And neither of you pay attention to the jealous shadow behind your words, the hesitant quiver behind his.
He replies almost instantly, the ping like a gunshot at the beginning of a race. Pillow slammed into the mattress, body lunging forward.
You too, Mom. Don’t have too much fun without me.
You lock the phone and slide it back under your covers, smiling dumbly.
There’s still a small part of you waiting for the big reveal: none of this is really happening. A dream, maybe, something you’ll wake from with a tiny throbbing headache, a dry mouth and a new reason to avoid your neighbor at all costs.
But it seems that, each time that thought crosses your mind, you’re quicker and quicker to quash it. Realizing each time that what lies ahead – Joel, your baby, this future version of yourself that you’re yet to meet, still just a little out of reach – fills you with more excitement and wonder, than it does fear.
Mom.
It’s not something you ever imagined for yourself. Not someone you ever thought you’d be. And yet, each time you say it out loud, each time you look in the mirror and picture a baby in the crook of your arm, a toddler perched on your hip, a kid stood by your side, tugging on the hem of your shirt – she feels a little closer. A little clearer. She just has to look over her shoulder, notice you waiting. I’m right here, she says. Come find me.
Mom. Mom and Dad.
You imagine Joel right now, sat in some ritzy restaurant with jazz music and stained-glass lamps on every table, ordering Vanessa some glorified lentil soup and slapping his card over the bill before the waiter has a chance to reveal the damage to him. Your lips twist at the thought – her jewels and her long hair and her sweet little smile laced with a smug possession.
And then you slap your own wrists, hissing to yourself to shut the fuck up.
“She’s nice,” you argue out loud, thin air holding no debate. “She’s kind, and I like her. She’s good for him.”
And then the air replies. Good for him, it swirls, but you could do it better.
Your arm lifts, lingering for a beat before batting the thought away.
Three weeks. Three fucking weeks, between pushing yourself out of his embrace in bed, and pulling yourself back into it – armed with a pregnancy test and a chest full of fear. Three weeks of dodging him, of your cheeks bubbling with embarrassment and regret anytime you thought of it; of hoping to God that Alice or Diane or Steve and Kris across the street wouldn’t clairvoyantly know what had transpired that night and corner you on your own front lawn.
A one-night stand. That’s all it was. Two lonely bodies, excitement enough to convince you both that it was a good idea; a fitted suit and a backless dress crumpled together on the floor. Liquid courage lacing it all together.
Three weeks, then, of reminding yourself how it felt: how amazing you were together. Your hand between your legs and Joel’s name between your teeth.
Fuck. If only he knew. Goodforhimgoodforhim she’s so good for him but I’m better.
You did it better. You know you did. The sun was cresting the horizon by the time the two of you stopped. You hauled yourselves down to breakfast and sat at least three people apart, made forced conversation with Maria about the DJ stumbling off with one of her cousins, while the ghostly ache of Joel’s body churned somewhere deep inside you.
It travels through your veins the way that everything does right now: urgent and unforgiving. A need to be dealt with, immediately. Coursing through your body, an arrowhead pointing somewhere you know it shouldn’t. But your hands lift anyway – following it, loosening the waist of your sweatpants and skimming beneath your underwear.
Your body lights at the first touch. The first dip of your middle finger against the plush over your clit. Knees bend, thighs part. You push your underwear down your hips, settling your bottoms loose on your legs. You’re already wet. You’re already there.
Good fucking girl. She’s good but I’m better, right? Take it, baby. Does she take it like I take it? Take it. Can she take you like I did?
Quicker and quicker and quicker, your fingers heavy on your clit. The other hand sifting between your folds, dipping to collect a glimmer of wet. Yeah. Just like that. Do you fuck her like you fucked me? You feel what you do to me? Fuck no, you don’t. You’ve never fucked anyone like you fucked me.
Head back, eyes fluttering closed, lips parting to breathe answers to a man who isn’t here. To a man who, as he dips sourdough into an overpriced soup, sure as hell isn’t thinking about that time he fucked you so good he got you fucking pregnant.
Well. Maybe he is. You are, right?
Voice without body, drawl etched in your memory. Think she can take it all? You hum in amusement, waiting for him to answer his own question. Yeah, she can.
Attagirl. Your legs spread further, knee lifting as you insert two slick-coated fingers. His hands are on your thighs, following the dip of your hips, holding your waist as you guide him back inside. Attagirl. That’s my – Fuck, Joel, you’re so b– That’s my fuckin’ girl. Take it. Touch it. His thumb on your clit – his, not yours. You like that? Yeah, that’s nice, ain’t it?
The flesh of your breasts filling his palms, squeezing and nipping and rolling between. The warmth leaking between your legs: his and yours and fuck, he’s so deep and he’s filling you again and he’s groaning as more dribbles from where he splits your body around his own, holding you still until he’s done. Until he’s empty.
“Joel,” you whine, a third finger pushing in.
Between your hips. Headboard hammering against the wall. The sun hanging loose at the bottom of the sky. Gonna make me come again, baby. Do it. Do something irreversible. Change me forever. Fuck me fuck me fill me and then pull out, push back in with the wet squelch of your come mixing with mine and changing me forever. Making me brand new. Making me yours.
Another moan. Louder. Sharper.
Yours yours yours. All mine? All yours. We’re good at this. I know we are. Who fucks you like this? No one – No one – just you – just me. It’s so big, fuck, but I can take it. Been thinkin’ about this all fuckin’ day, baby. All I do is think about you. All I fucking do – You gonna come for me? – is think about you.
Know you need it. Let ‘em hear you, downstairs.
Fuck, I’m thinking about you. Come home. I need you to come home, need you to –
Fuck me, Joel, I’m –
Good girl.
– fuck me.
Atta fuckin’ girl.
She’s good but I do it so much better.
We’re good at this. ‘s do it again.
She’s not as good as me.
Again? Again.
She’s not as good. She’s no fucking good.
Your walls clamp around your fist, entire body shuddering to a stop. Breath held by something shaped like the hook of his accent, two fingers either side of your throat. The same smirk on his lips that convinced you in the first place. Fuck, baby, fuck me.
“Joel,” you cry out, the sound ripping between your vocal cords, punching against the ceiling and reverberating in your ears. Your body convulses on the mattress, back arching and slackening again. “Fuck, I’m – oh, my –”
Just feel it, baby. Feel me. You got it.
Let go.
Your lungs lurch open again, breath flooding in like waves spilling over the gunwale and rushing down to pool at your feet. A lulling rock to your movements, chest rising and falling like the steady tide. Soothing, coming down. Foam and salt carrying the flotsam away, the jagged glass of his name disappearing to sea again.
And then he’s gone.
And you’re just alone in your bedroom.
Last you checked your phone, now face-down on the carpet at your hip, it was eight p.m. Streetlights on, the sky painted by the pale dregs of daytime.
Now, you lie in near-darkness, blinking up at the ceiling. Hand sifting through a bag of glow-in-the-dark stars, comparing the different sizes, considering where to stick them, and then tossing them back in frustration.
Your front door clicks open, a pause between the sound and his voice.
“Anyone home?” Joel calls, and you lift your wrist as though he can see it from the bottom of the fucking stairs.
“Up here,” you eventually announce, knuckles rubbing your tired eyes until Catherine wheels spatter across your eyelids.
His shadow splits the light from the hallway, the long rectangle crossing over your swollen belly. “The hell are you doin’?” he asks, wandering in.
You lift the bag. “Decorating. The hell are you doin’?”
He pulls your nursing pillow from its temporary home in the crib and tosses it down on the carpet, bending to lift your shoulders and slot it underneath. “Scooch,” he says, groaning as he lays back beside you. He smells like whiskey and cologne. All woody, pine and spice.
“You got a bad back,” you warn him. “You shouldn’t be all the way down here.”
“You’re seven months pregnant,” Joel clicks his teeth, “neither should you.”
“What if you get stuck ‘n can’t get back up?”
Offense pulls his brows together. “What if you do?”
You smile in response, feeling the heat of his shoulder against yours. Sucking the scent of him through your nose. The pair of you exchanging smirks and batting eyelashes, wrapped in the cool darkness of the room. It’s juvenile and intimate.
You’re trying not to think too much about it.
“I can’t fucking figure this out. I put two of the big stars over there,” you point to the far corner of the room, streetlight splintered by the shades on the ceiling, “but it looks stupid having two so close. So, then I thought,” moving your arm to the right, “a cluster of smaller ones, right over the crib. But I couldn’t move the damn thing to climb up, so…I’ve been down here ever since.”
Joel lifts his hand, stopping your train of thought. “Please do not climb on anything, bein’ that you are…with child.” And then, when your eyes roll to meet his, he grins, adding, “Nesting got you good, huh?”
“You should see my kitchen cupboards. Never been tidier.” Your expression dissolves, voice quietens – your most desperate plea since that morning you shook hands on his doorstep. Your broken wardrobes and his lonely wedding invite. “Will you help me?” you ask.
He thinks it over less than once, dragging his gaze from the twirling star in your fingers. A quick shake of his head, like it’s obvious. “’course I will. ‘s what I’m here for.” And then he yawns, lowering a hand absentmindedly to settle on the curve of your stomach; a gentle pat in greeting to Duck.
“How was dinner?”
“Good,” Joel lies.
“Vanessa okay?”
“Good,” again.
“Sorry.”
Joel’s eyes roll, fingers pausing. “Why do you always gotta be sorry for som’?”
You shrug when you realize it’s not a rhetorical question. He’s genuinely asking. “I don’t know. Just tryna be polite. I know you’d probably rather be at home right now, not…deciding where some plastic fuckin’ stars should go.”
“For my kid’s bedroom? For you?” He huffs something shaped like disapproval. “Do me a favor – stop with the sorrys, alright?”
“I’m not even done with the last fucking favor I said I’d do you.” Your eyes flit down to your bump.
He stares blankly. You know there’s a laugh gathering like hot air on a windowpane behind his eyes, threatening to shatter the glass.
“Fine,” you concede, “dickhead.”
“Better.”
You sigh, looking back down at the phosphorescent shape in your hands. Turning it over and over and over, matching the rhythm of his fingers tensing and then untensing on your belly. His fingers, matching the rhythm of your chest rising and falling with breath. The room quiet. The night’s eyes averted, even just for this moment.
“If it’s anything,” Joel says, “I think the stars look alright.”
Another stolen smile. Another defiant show of teeth. You place your hand on top of his: a thankful gesture, an invitation. Something in between.
Joel blinks back at you, his eyes flitting from yours to your lips. The dim light in the room swallowing the two of you whole, secluded in the upstairs of your home. And you think, Kiss me, kiss me kiss me kiss me, and you will the words over your tongue in a ragged breath – hoping that Joel might breathe them in and feel their sharp edges as they absorb into his bloodstream, each cell flipping like the star in your hand and whispering the same two words to him: Kiss her kiss her kiss her.
But right then –
There’s a burst of movement. Under your fingertips. A fluttering, like bubbles popping right below the surface of your skin.
Your eyes snap down at the same time Joel’s do; your fingers separating and hovering over your tummy.
“Did you – did you feel –?”
“Yeah. Did you?”
“Uhuh. Was that –?”
“I don’t know. Was it?”
He takes your hand, pressing it back against your stomach with his on top. Your knuckles safe in the canopy of his palm. Both staring into space as you hold your breath.
“They’re not…they’re not doin’ it, now…”
“Maybe it was just –”
“Wait! Did you feel that?”
A second burst on your womb, a tiny beat on the other side of your bump. A wide grin breaks across your cheeks, a disbelieving laugh escaping.
Joel laughs, too. “Is that – is that the first time they’ve ever –?”
“Yeah,” you sniff, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, “that’s the first I’ve ever felt ‘em, anyways.”
“Wait,” Joel says, lifting his hand and holding a finger up. Just yours on your belly. “They doin’ it?”
Your head shakes.
When he lowers his hand, Duckie kicks again. The two of you lean in to one another, exchanging laughter. You lift your own hand, watching his expression as he waits patiently.
But then his head shakes, too. “Nothing. They’re only doin’ it when it’s both of us.”
“What the fuck?” you laugh, replacing your hand and waiting for the baby drum. “How can they even tell? What the f–?”
You shift your hands around the globe of your bump, pausing every so often to feel for Duck’s movements. A tiny fist punching, or a heel kicking, or an elbow shoving right above your navel in a way that’s bordering on painful, but numbed by the sheer thrill of it.
And for a while, it’s all you do: play tag with your unborn baby, giggling when they respond to your tapping fingers and cooing voices.
Joel sits up, leaning on his elbow to talk to his kid; runs two fingers across your shirt like a pair of legs scaling a cotton covered hill. And he laughs, and you laugh at his laugh, as if he’s a kid himself again – tearing apart gifts on his birthday, gasping and throwing his head back with glee at whatever he uncovers.
“It feel weird?” he asks, glancing up at you.
“So fucking weird,” you tell him.
“Does it hurt?”
“More…ticklish, if anything. Might get kinda annoying, if they start doing it when I’m tryna sleep, or somethin’…”
Joel lowers his jaw to your stomach, whispering, “You know what to do, Duckie. Make your daddy proud.”
You slap his shoulder, muttering, “Asshole.”
“Alright,” he says, splintered by a laugh. He pushes himself to his feet, swiping the bag of stars from your side. “Let’s get these up so you two can get some sleep.”
You groan as he pulls you upright, one last pat on your stomach, looking at you a second too long and a touch too meaningful. Too warm, too inviting.
It’s the calm before the storm, though you’re still stood motionless. Still trying to work out whether the tornado is moving away, or headed directly for you.
At five in the morning, Vanessa’s sister calls her.
“Heart attack,” Joel tells you a few hours later, the rustle of paper crinkling in your ear. The truck hums in the background. He speaks through a mouthful of sandwich. “Her dad always had a condition, but they thought they were managin’ it with medication,” another crinkle, and then, voice even more obscured, “but he got rushed to hospital durin’ the night, and…”
“Poor Vanessa,” you reply, nail drawing shapes on the curve of your bump in attempt to lull Duck into a more relaxed state than the sharp kicks they’re throwing at your ribs. Now big and strong enough to do considerable damage, your voice falters each time they swing. “Is she – son of a bitch – is she okay?”
“Shaken up,” he says, turn signal ticking over his voice. “She’ll be alright. She’s pragmatic like that. Problem is – they’re in Houston. Her whole family. So I guess that’s where the funeral’s gonna be.”
You swing your legs off the couch, heaving your awkward, nine-months-pregnant body to your feet – the irritating scratch of hunger suddenly gnawing at your stomach. “Yeah?” you say, waddling through to the kitchen. “So?”
“So,” Joel takes another bite of sandwich, “she has to – I mean, we have to…go. To Houston.”
“We?” You slot the phone between your cheek and shoulder as you fish out a couple slices of bread.
“Me ‘n Vanessa.”
“Uhuh,” you carve a knife around a jar of peanut butter, “you gotta be there for her.”
Joel sounds a little defensive. “I know. And I am. I’m goin’ to be. ‘s just – I gotta be there for you, too. For – for Duck.”
Your stomach swirls, a fire catching which lights your chest in a trickle of flame.
“You are. You will be. Houston’s only, like, three hours away.”
He sighs.
The turn signal fills the silence between you, between Joel and an appropriate answer. Clicking like the sound of a tennis match, his head spinning between his grief-stricken girlfriend, and the third-trimester mother of his child.
“I’m here,” he says, and you hear the squeal of brakes out front. “Give me a sec.”
The door pushes open as you sink back into the couch, balancing the plate on the planet beneath your breasts. Joel crumples his sandwich paper in his fist and lowers his hand over the back of the couch, scrunching his fingers over your belly as he passes.
“Thought you hated that stuff,” he calls over his shoulder, disappearing into your kitchen.
“I had a craving,” you say, ripping the first bite from your sandwich. “You made me hungry.”
He returns a minute later with a glass of water which he sets down on the coffee table in front of you. He lifts your legs, letting them fall gently in his lap when he collapses into the opposite end of the couch, heels of his palms pressing against his eyes.
You tap his thigh with the ball of your foot and he turns to you, placing a hand over your ankles. A sticky paste of peanut butter and bread between your molars, you ask, “What’shup?”
Joel holds back a smirk at your chipmunk cheeks. “Just – just worried that you…you know, while I’m gone, is all.”
You scoff, gulping. “Come on. I am not gonna go into labor in the, what – two days? How long would you even be gone?”
He seems to wince at the thought, fingers sifting through his hair – a gray sweep sat casually over his left eyebrow; flicks following the curve of his ear towards the hinge of his jaw. “Less than that, if I can help it.”
“Joel.”
He turns to you, saying your name just as deflated in response.
“You have to go.”
He rolls his eyes, thumb and middle finger massaging his temples. Crosses his arms and huffs like a teenager. “Well, I ain’t happy about it.”
You snort, unable to hold it in as you take another bite. “I ‘on’t think Vanesha’sh too happy about it, either, to be honesh wih ya.”
Joel’s jaw slackens, a choked laugh bursting from the back of his throat. He lifts a cushion and swings it in your direction. “Heartless. That’s heartless, you know that? Jesus, baby.”
He leaves on Saturday morning.
You stand on your porch, watching him shove a suitcase into the backseat of his truck, squinting in the sunlight as he stalks across your front yard. Joining you in the shade, he leans into you, shoving you lightly.
“Quit it.” Your hand locking with his, steadying yourself. Something in the back of your mind begging him not to let go.
And as if he can hear the thought: “I can stay. You know I can stay, right?”
“I don’t want you to stay,” you tell him, sweeping the hair from his forehead. “We will be fine. We’ll stay up late, eat junk food and watch TV; I’ll do audio description for Duck…”
He scoffs, glancing across the street.
“…and then you’ll be back home, back to buggin’ the hell out of us. It’ll be Monday before you know it.”
Joel’s jaw tightens. “And what if…?”
“You really think that’s gonna happen? You think your kid’s that much of an asshole?”
He doesn’t miss a beat. “Yeah,” he shrugs, tongue in his cheek, “they’re half you.”
“Alright,” you click your teeth, turning away from the simper on his lips, “why don’t you just fuck off to Houston now, asshole?”
“I’ll fuck off, that’s what I’ll do.”
“Uhuh. Here’s hoping you don’t break down, or get a flat, or get struck by lightning, or anything.”
“You’re so funny,” he whispers, leaning closer.
“Hm. Now go.”
His jaw turns, beard grazing your skin. And then his lips; soft and warm, damp when he kisses your cheek. A moment too long. And he doesn’t pull away, doesn’t lean back the way you both know he should. No, he lingers – his lips by your ear, eyes flitting up to the street to make sure nobody sees.
“Joel –”
“I know.”
“We shouldn’t –”
“I know.”
But your arm is hooking around his neck, asking him to do it anyway, and his lips are lowering to yours, submitting to your request, and what’s supposed to be a goodbye kiss lasts at least a few seconds too long for it to mean anything less than a don’t go kiss.
You pull away when you feel the wet dab of his tongue against yours, realizing with an ice-cold shock where you are, and who he is, and what’s happening. Realizing how fucking stupid it’d be for both of you, how catastrophic and terrible the outcome.
A one-night stand.
A one-night stand.
A one-night –
He leans his forehead against yours, nose nuzzling your cheek. “I’ll call you when we get there.”
Your arm loosens, letting him go.
Just – letting him go.
Saturday Night Live ends just after midnight.
You arch your back into the couch, your swollen belly pushing forward. It’s an effort to get to your feet, what with the steady ache in your back all day, the weight on your front, and the fucking human being smushed into every vital organ inside you.
A deep breath feels like it inflates your lungs only halfway, Duck using the bottom half as a fucking ass cushion, and scaling the stairs takes another ten minutes – by the end of which, you’re slumped against the handrail, pausing before making off for your room.
You sink into the mattress, creasing the cool, smooth sheets. Duck stirs inside you, stretches out and throws a right hook against your bladder. You curse under your breath, hoisting yourself back to your feet.
“We gotta sleep, baby,” you hum, swaying back and forth with a hand under your belly. “Shh, ‘s okay. Take your fuckin’ fist outta my bladder, you little asshole.”
Whichever traits of yours and Joel’s have blended into the human cocktail growing in your uterus, you know one thing for certain: this kid has your stubbornness. The weight remains on your bladder, regardless of how much swaying, or pacing, or rubbing, or threatening you do.
You growl, wandering through the upper floor of your house in attempt to shift Duckie, or distract yourself, or, at the very least, tire the two of you out enough to fall asleep.
From the nursery door handle hangs a little wooden star, a tauntingly sleepy smile painted on it. You push the door open with two hesitant fingers, stepping into the still bedroom, the weak wash of streetlight meeting moonlight on the greenish walls.
You suck in a deep breath, floorboards squealing as you take your first step. Over the crib hangs a plastic mobile, soft plush shapes twirling slowly. The matching changing table slotted alongside it, a rocking chair over by the window.
You pad across a fluffy rug and lower yourself into the chair, tilting back and forth on your toes as you glance around one of the two rooms you and Joel have spent the most time in since that October morning bonded you forever. A baby duck ornament perched on a shelf above the dresser, its orange legs dangling. A multi-photo frame Joel’s mom bought you, both scans in the first two slots and the third empty, lying in wait.
Your breathing fragments, struggles, eyes slipping over to the baby clothes hanging in the closet. “You know, little Duckie,” you whisper, rubbing your bump and thinking back to Tommy’s words six months ago, “you are a pretty lucky kid.”
The hooded towel robe on the back of the door, the perfect size for a newborn. The framed prints sat atop the chest of drawers, waiting to be nailed to the wall: a rainbow, a frog, a starry sky.
“You got two houses. Two bedrooms, all to yourself. You got two parents who already love you more ‘n the whole world. And,” you gulp, “you got Vanessa. And she loves you, too.”
You glance down, watching the tiny pulse of movement when the baby stretches in your womb. Your hands scoop them up, as if holding them closer than they already are. As if already cradling them, forcing yourself to feel less alone.
Duck seems to quieten, to still; seems to consider what you’re avoiding. Reads between the lines, hears the words you’re not speaking.
Two of everything, you think, and I barely even had one.
The most evidence you have of being loved by anyone in your life is the house you live in. Four brick walls and three decades’ worth of belongings, more inheritance than memories. But they roll around like marbles – they echo against the walls when they hit them. There’s nothing binding them, no thread of love, or family, or anything real enough to hold it all together.
You’re the only living organ inside a skeleton’s cage. A lonely little heartbeat, making noise for no one to hear.
And that’s the way it has been, at least since you were eight. The absence of warmth and safety isn’t anything new to you – it left the second your parents did. The last scrunch of your mom’s nails on your head, the last kiss of her lips to your plump little cheeks. The passing over to your grandma, like you were cargo, like you were a box to be checked.
Maybe you found some distant flicker of heat in the way Joel looked at you, the day you told him you were pregnant. Maybe you saw the same glimmer of a flame that you used to see in your mom’s eye. The rosy smell of her perfume, the feel of her finger inside five of yours. Maybe, for the first time since you were a kid, you felt safe.
We’re gonna work it out, he said. I’m here. We’re in this together, alright? I am not running out on you.
Together. And yet, now, sat in your child’s nursery – a room built from scratch by Joel’s two hands and strung together by every beat of your heart – you’ve never felt more alone. The same two hands that are wrapped around Vanessa right now, consoling her, wiping her tears away, massaging her shoulders and sweeping her hair from her eyes.
And the same heartbeat which quickens now, fueled by an angry desire, an impulse scratching deep into your flesh to march all the damn way to Houston and tear the pair of them apart. Like he’s yours; like the way he touches you and looks at you and talks to you means anything more than his child growing inside you.
Like it’s you he’s touching and looking at and talking to, and not Duck. Like his attention won’t cease to shine on you, the second this little baby leaves your body.
And then, washing over the scorching hot sand of anger: a foam-lined wave of guilt. Of shame, for wishing for the breakdown of something that clearly makes the two of them happy. That makes Joel…happy.
He doesn’t owe you anything – he was never yours to begin with. Just one drunken night, a mistake until you noticed the two pale lines on the pregnancy test. And by that point, he was already hers again. You had missed him without even knowing it.
You sigh, pushing up from the rocking chair and reaching for a tissue from the changing table. Turning back, giving the room one last teary glance before closing the door, you sniff.
“You’re just…the luckiest little kid who’s ever gonna live.”
At one twenty a.m., cicadas chirping and trees rustling, the low breeze carrying the sounds through your half-open window – your back begins to ache. A blunt, gnawing pain. Feels like your period, and in your doze, you stuff a pillow between your legs and pray you don’t stain the sheets with a show of blood.
The realization comes over you as if that stifling breeze flips to freezing. You slowly come around, eyes peeling open as you think it over twice, then three times, then four. Duck shifts somewhere deep inside you, somewhere you’ve never felt them shift before.
“…No. Not right now, Duck. You gotta give me, like, twenty-four hours. Just – wait until your dad gets ho–”
A blinding pain interrupts you, the moonlit-blue room fading out of focus for half a second before you’re wide awake, clutching the bottom of your spine where you’re sure the kid just tore a fucking hole straight through your uterus.
“You’re a fucking dick,” you whimper, fingers clenching in tight fists around the bedsheets. “You’re a fucking – dick.”
One twenty-three. You go into labor.
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satoruoo · 5 months
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currently thinking about teenagedirtbag!gojo
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teenagedirtbag!gojo who draws doodles of you in his books, each one more detailed than the last but draws weirdly detailed dick pics in your book whenever he gets the chance.
teenagedirtbag!gojo who tries (and fails) to protect you in a game of dodgeball where he catches the first ball that is aimed at you while the second one hits him square in the face. he will never live it down.
"ow, shit- babe! don't laugh, i'll revoke your satoru time don't fucking test me-"
"there's a massive red mark forming on your forehead."
"what?!?! where?!!?"
teenagedirtbag!gojo who somehow convinces you to get matching tattoos with him and he never shuts the fuck up about it.
teenagedirtbag!gojo who regularly throws gang signs at you to see how far he can push your buttons before you snap.
"rise and shine, babe!"
"toru, it's like five in the morning. why did you wake me up-"
"☝️🤏✌️👍🤚👎👊🤛✊🤞"
"it's like you want a slap in the face."
teenagedirtbag!gojo who teaches you, his pretty girlfriend, how to ride a skateboard so he can take you to the skating park to show you off to all of the losers there.
teenagedirtbag!gojo who throws stones at your window at 2am to wake you up because he wants to go on a late night mcdonalds run.
teenagedirtbag!gojo who hovers around you relentlessly, perched on your shoulder like some kind of parrot so if you ever get into a fight, he's always there to back you up and beat up anyone who looks at you in the wrong way.
"so kindly fuck off."
"yeah, what she said!"
"toru, shut up."
"what?! i'm defending you, baby!"
teenagedirtbag!gojo who waits for you after class because he somehow cannot get enough of the way your face sours once you see him, because only he notices the way your eyes brighten and your steps become that little bit lighter.
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tagging: @sad-darksoul
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lizthewriter · 9 months
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mattheo riddle headcanons - how you got together ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
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WARNINGS kissing, fluff, slight violence
Mattheo Riddle × fem!Reader
• mattheo was never really interested in girls - he couldn't understand why his friends were so obsessed with crushes and stuff . . . that was until you came along
• he always hated the "they were different" trope, but you were different
• he couldn't understand it (he had never been very in-touch with his emotions, except for maybe anger) but he knew he loved you
• it started out with stolen glances - in the great hall, in the corridors, in class, in the library; everywhere he saw you, he took the opportunity to fully observe you, to take in every inch of your face and body; he had never been one for studying, but he memerized you like a notecard
• blaise was the first to notice mattheo's sudden change in behavior sometimes and immediately linked it to you; like the good friend he was, he didn't tell anyone else, but teased mattheo about it relentlessly
• blaise still encouraged him to talk to you - the only reason mattheo actually spoke to you first was in hopes that it would end blaise's incessant nagging (spoiler alert: it didn't)
• he found you in the library, scouring the bookshelves, and built up the courage to speak with you
• of course, the clumsy idiot he was, got distracted and bumped into you, the books held in your arms tumbling to the ground
• he bent down to pick them up for you, offering a sheepish apology and smile and he thought "this was it" . . . until your friend called you from one of the studying tables and he lost his chance
• he didn't talk with you for a week after that
• not until he saw you in the courtyard, talking with a one zacharias smith; it was obvious you were trying to brush off his advances; you had seemed so uncomfortable as he continued to pester you
• mattheo didn't know what had happened until he did it; zacharias was thrown onto the floor with the power of a punch and you stood, shocked
• for a moment, he thought that maybe you'd be impressed, like he was the knight in shining armor you had been vying for
• but you had only scoffed and stormed away from both boys, obviously distressed
• he felt a little angry about that . . . why hadn't you been impressed? or at least glad that he stood up to the guy?
• he was in a bad mood for a few days . . . and got detention for punching zacharias in the face, even after he had told the professor that he had been bothering you and he was only trying to defend you
• he thought that you'd never look his way - but little did he know that you started watching him; he intrigued you . . . why had slytherin's very own bad boy defended you? you didn't even know him!
• that's when you saw not the bad boy facade, but the sweetheart interior; you caught him feeding stray pets in the hallways, volunteering late at night in the library when virtually no one was bound to be there, doing little things for his friends when he thought no one noticed
• you even caught him doodling in class once, small little flowers - he was actually quite good!
• and that's how you started to fall in love with mattheo riddle, bit by bit - not a bad boy, not just some slytherin, not the dark lord's son, mattheo
• you didn't know how to approach him - given his usual uncaring facade and the gang of slytherins surrounding him all the time, you'd feel too embarrassed to talk to him
• but blaise noticed that you too had your eyes on mattheo
• one day, when mattheo had skipped class, blaise caught you after potions
• he asked if you had a crush on mattheo - of course, you were hesitant to admit it, but it was obvious enough that you had to eventually
• blaise gave you a note that he said mattheo had told him to give you - it said to meet mattheo in the astronomy tower late that night
• you did not know, however, that blaise had taken a glance at your notes, memorizing your handwriting, and went to his dorm; he did his best to copy it, and gave mattheo a similar note, stating that you had asked him to pass it on
• mattheo was doubtful, but it was definitely your handwriting
• you arrived early, a bundle of nerves - why had mattheo called you there? you wondered - what made you so special?
• you sat down on the floor and gazed at the stars
• then you heard footsteps behind you and whipped your head around to see mattheo holding a piece of parchment
• he stood awkwardly for a moment before sitting on the floor next to you, your shoulders brushing together
• "you called me here?"
• you furrowed your brows at him - "no, blaise gave me this -" you handed him in the note "- said you told him to give me this"
• mattheo poked his cheek with an irritated tounge - "bastard," he remarked, a bitter smile on his face
• you had never been so close to him before - you could see all the little, invisible freckles dotting his face and scars from his many fights
• then it suddenly came to your attention that blaise had lured both of you here under the impression that the other had asked and cursed in your head
• you both sat in silence for a while
• mattheo didn't know what to do - you would never love him the way he loved you
• that was when you said, "i know you were only trying to help when you punched zacharias - and I admit that it was quite satisfying to watch, he certainly deserved to be punched but . . . i don't think it was necessary to be so violent. you could've just threatened him and he would have weaseled back to his common room in fear of the big bad slytherin"
• mattheo barked out a laugh, especially at the last part, which you had spoken quite sarcastically - "are you trying to suggest that i'm not a big bad slytherin?"
• you told him all the things you noticed about him
• he grinned widely - "have you been spying on me?"
• you flushed - "of course not - it was just an observation"
• "multiple observations," mattheo responded teasingly
• you flushed even more, sputtering - he thought you looked adorable trying to worm your way out of this
• he felt perhaps a little more confident - maybe you did like him . . . to an extent; after all, when had anyone paid that much attention to him before? his mind started to whirl at the idea of you possibly liking him back
• he gently grabbed your chin, turning your face to meet his; he tilted his head, smiling softly
• "it's okay to admit that you like me, love."
• you felt like your entire face was on fire - "really, riddle, what nonsense are you talking?" you sounded much more nervous than confident
• mattheo suddenly got much more serious. his eyes lingered over your lips - merlin, how he had longed to kiss them
• "if you want to leave, go. i won't stop you. if you feel that, at any time, you want to stop, you can shove me away, merlin you can punch me and leave. but i want to kiss you." his face had leaned gradually closer, so that by the time he finished speaking, his lips had ghosted over your own; he glanced at you, noticing how your chest had suddenly stopped it's usual rise and fall
• you made no move to leave
• mattheo closed the distance between you, kissing you softly - he panicked for a moment, when you hadn't reciprocated but he could boil it down to shock or nerves because you threw your arms around his neck, pulling him in deeper after that first moment of hesitance
• when he returned to his dorm, a smug smile on his face, blaise knew
• blaise would force mattheo to forever admit that you two never would have gotten together were it not for him - mattheo told him no way, so they agreed to let blaise be the best man at your future wedding and blaise was content enough with that
TAGS @m00nagegaydream @rilakeila @xftyhjmnfdsdfgjn @s1ater
Please like, reblog, and leave a comment! I would really appreciate it ^^
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fxrmuladaydreams · 7 months
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i didn’t miss it (ln4)
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lando norris x reader , oscar piastri x reader (platonic)
summary: lando nearly misses out on wishing his crush a happy birthday
notes: we’re going to say that the reader works for mclaren for convenience sake but i’ll let you decide exactly what the job is
Lando, with the help of Oscar, had everything planned down to a T. After months of pining for you, of sending you longing looks in the paddock, of making sure that he could take his lunch around the same time you took yours just so he could eat with you, of practically stalking your social media, of staying longer at McLaren at night so he could “conveniently” be there to walk you to your car, he was finally going to confess his feelings to you.
Oscar was proud. Well, he was happy he wouldn’t have to hear Lando drone on and on about you anymore. He liked you just fine, but Lando was very clearly head over heels for you.
It was strange seeing Lando act this way. Oscar had heard that Lando was a bit of an introvert, but he had never really experienced it firsthand. He had always been a friend to Oscar, an older brother type. Then there were his relationships with the other drivers, Lando was quite popular, half the grid claimed he was their best friend. But as soon as you were anywhere near the older McLaren driver all of that went out the window. He turned into a shy, blushing boy, who fidgets with his fingers and can’t seem to look you in the eyes for longer than a minute.
Birthdays were a big celebration at McLaren. Lando’s and Oscar’s were usually met with loud fanfare and cameras so that the fans could see the drivers celebrating. But even all of the other members of the team had parties when it was their birthday, complete with a cake, a rousing chorus of an off-key happy birthday, and essentially a break in the usually chaotic workday.
Lando had your birthday marked down. It was in the calendar on his phone, there were little doodles around the date on the calendar in his house, he even had a reminder set for it just to make sure he wouldn’t forget.
The plan was simple really, you would have your little McLaren party at work, then go out to a nice dinner with Lando and Oscar. Oscar would stay for a little while but eventually excuse himself for not feeling well, leaving you alone with Lando. He was going to use the romantic atmosphere to confess his feelings, and hopefully you’d tell him that you felt the same and within the week you would be the paddock’s new favorite couple.
What Lando hadn’t expected was to wake up late that morning, rushing to get ready in an attempt to get to work on time, not sparing the calendar on his wall a glance. He didn’t expect his meetings to run longer than expected, pushing his time on the simulator back as well.
You found him hunched over a table in the break area, quickly scarfing down a wrap.
“Hey Lando, are you okay?” You ask, sitting down next to him.
He wipes the crumbs away from his mouth with a napkin, then looks over to you. “Yeah, I’m good, just, busy day, you know?”
You smile, sure he’s alluding to the fact that it’s your birthday. You’re about to bring up how much you’re looking forward to dinner with him and Oscar as he stands up and starts gathering his trash.
“I have to go get some laps done on the sim, but I’ll see you later, yeah?” He doesn’t wait for a reply before leaving you alone with your lunch.
You feel giddy as you’re led from your work area in the afternoon to the lobby area of the building. The lights are low as you walk in, and the brightness when they’re turned on is close to blinding.
You grin as McLaren employees all give a resounding “Happy Birthday!” shout, but your heart sinks a little when you search for the familiar head of curls and only manage to find Oscar who gives you a small smile.
He finds you later in the gathering, pulling you aside to talk privately.
“Happy birthday Y/n.” He says, pulling you into a hug.
You return the hug, wrapping an arm around his frame. “Thank you Oscar.”
When you pull away there’s a moment of awkward silence. You’re close to both the drivers, your job requires that you be, but you were arguably closer to Lando than Oscar.
“I don’t know where he is, I’m sorry.”
You don’t have to ask to know that he’s referring to his teammate. You plaster on a smile and shrug your shoulders.
“It’s alright. If he’s busy, he’s busy. I’ll see him at dinner.”
“Definitely.” Oscar nods.
While you were downstairs eating cake, Lando was upstairs, completely unaware, driving lap after lap in the sim. Music blared in his ears coming from his headphones that he’d put on, in hopes that it would help him concentrate and get some good lap times.
He was doing well, practicing on the Singapore track over and over until his music cut out. He finished his lap, then looked down at his phone. The screen was dark, and didn’t turn on when he’d pressed any buttons. Great, his phone had died.
He took that as a sign that he’d spent enough time working. He logged his final times, then gathered his things and headed towards his car.
The parking lot was nearly empty, most everyone having already gone home for the day. A few stragglers left as well, wishing him a goodnight.
As soon as he’d made it home, he threw himself down on his bed. He was exhausted after having run around like a headless chicken all day from meeting to meeting to meeting to sim practice. He felt like he could sleep for a week.
He reached for his phone, plugging it into it’s charger before he lets his head fall back against the pillow and lets sleep consume him.
The restaurant that the drivers were meant to bring you to is nice, overtly so. It’s dimly lit, the servers all wear matching vests and ties, and the clientele are equally as dressed up.
Oscar sits across from you, an awkward smile resting on his face. He looks uncomfortable, his eyes constantly dart between the door to the restaurant and his phone in his lap. He sighs as he types something out on his phone, then looks back up at you.
He opens his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it.
“He’s not coming, is he?” You ask.
Oscar gives you an apologetic smile. “I can’t get a hold of him.”
You can feel a tightening feeling in your chest as you shake your head. “That’s okay. We can still have a nice dinner.”
You try to make the most of your meal, talking with Oscar about the season so far and the upcoming races. You tell him about fun things you’ve done in the upcoming cities, usually accompanied by Lando and Daniel back when he was still at McLaren.
You leave the restaurant with Oscar, giving him a quick hug and a thank you before you separate to your cars.
Once home you change into your pajamas and lay down in bed. You check your phone and see happy birthday texts from various people, even some drivers from other teams. You scroll to your messages with Lando, and sigh when you see nothing.
You didn’t expect anything big from him, you had just hoped for at least a text from him. Maybe an apology for missing out on your party at the office and for ditching you at dinner.
Lando awoke to an incessant dinging sound coming from his phone. He groaned, and rolled over, trying to go back to sleep, but his phone would not stop sounding off.
He slung his arm over to grab it, and looked at all of the notifications he had.
7 missed calls from Oscar
23 new messages
He furrowed his brows as he opened his texts. There were two texts from Max.
Did you do it?
I’m going to assume you did it and it went well if you’re too busy to text back
Then 21 messages from Oscar, the first few from that afternoon.
Are you coming down soon?
Where are you?
Party’s over, I guess we’ll see you at dinner
Then more from this evening.
Seriously man where are you?
Are you on your way?
When did you leave the office?
The varying texts all have essentially the same message, until he reads the most recent three.
We had a plan
She’s trying to put on a brave face but I know she wants to see you
You’ve been missing all day and now you don’t show up to dinner?
Dinner. He can practically feel his heart in his throat. He checks his calendar on his phone, and there on today’s date, in all uppercase lettering it says “Y/N’S BIRTHDAY”
He scrambles out of bed, grabbing a hoodie, and runs for the door. He throws himself in his car and speeds to your house. He’s surprised he isn’t pulled over by anyone on the way there.
He sprints from his car to your front door, knocking a little too aggressively for someone showing up at your apartment in the pitch black night.
Your heart startles at the loud knock on your door. You slowly make your way too it, then look through the peephole. Lando stands outside, fidgeting with his hands as he waits for you to answer the door.
You open it, giving him a questioning look. “Lando?”
“Happy birthday!” The words tumble out of his mouth as soon as he sees you.
“What?”
He looks down at his phone, the time reading 11:57 pm. “Happy birthday. I didn’t miss it.” He holds his phone up so you can see the time.
“Thank you Lando. Did you drive all the way over here just to tell me happy birthday? You know you could’ve just sent me a text…” You tell him.
He’s at a loss for words, he knows he could’ve, but it wouldn’t have been the same. He’d already ruined what was meant to be a special night, he couldn’t possibly imagine not really seeing you at all today.
“Do you want to come in? I’ve got some leftover cake from the party.” You step to the side when he nods.
He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he steps inside your apartment. He follows you as you lead him to the kitchen, pulling out the cake you had mentioned.
Most of it is missing. He can see the left side of the McLaren logo with letters that read “Hap Birt” and the first few letters of your first name. You hand him a slice and a fork.
The two of you eat the cake quietly on opposite sides of the kitchen, unsure of what to say to the other. The silence is only broken when Lando takes a breath, then starts speaking.
“I’m sorry for missing your party. And dinner.”
You stop eating the cake and shrug your shoulders. “It’s okay. There will be other parties, other dinners.”
Lando scoffs. “Right.” He stabs at the cake with his fork, just moving it around his plate.
“What’s wrong?” You ask.
He doesn’t answer, doesn’t even look up at you. You step over to him and lean against the counter.
“Lando, what’s wrong?”
He sighs. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
You brush a hand over his arm. The soft orange fabric bunches up a little against your hand as you feel the toned muscle in his bicep.
“I don’t believe you. You know you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s just me.” You say.
Your voice is sweet, and is close to lulling him into a sense of security, but then he remembers how tonight should’ve gone.
“That’s the problem. It’s you. And I’ve somehow managed to fuck it all up.” He groans, dropping his head into his hands.
“What do you mean?”
He looks up at you. You can see unshed tears start to form in the soft blue eyes you love. It takes everything in you to not lean forward and softly wipe them away.
“Tonight was supposed to be special. I was going to celebrate with you, then go to dinner with you. But instead I had a shit day where I was so busy that I completely forgot what day it was. So I missed the party, and I didn’t even show up to dinner, so Oscar couldn’t leave and-”
“Why would Oscar leave?”
Your question makes him freeze. His mouth opens and closes as if he’s searching for something to say, but just can’t seem to find the right words.
He stutters, then asks “What?” as if he didn’t hear your question.
“Lando, why would Oscar leave?” You ask him again, this time slowing your words down.
He runs a hand through his hair as his eyes meet the ground in front of him.
“Oscar was going to leave so that we could have dinner together… you and I…” his voice is soft, just barely a murmur.
Your heart skips in your chest. “Lando-”
“And I missed it. I can’t believe it. I had so many reminders set up so that I wouldn’t forget it. That’s why I came here, so that I could tell you,” he looks at his phone “but now it’s after midnight, so it’s not even your birthday anymore.” His words come out quick. He’s rambling, too afraid of what you’ll say to give you a chance to speak. “It was a stupid idea anyways. Why would I even think that there would be any chance that you’d feel the same way I do? Especially when I can’t even keep track of the day-”
His words are cut off when you lunge forward to press your lips to his. They taste sweet, like the cake you had been eating. Your hands softly cup his face, brushing against the scruff he’s started to grow out.
His hands hover in the air awkwardly, unsure of what to do, or if this is really happening. It only clicks when he feels you start to pull away, the warmth of your body moving away from his triggers something in him as he plants his hands on your hips pulling you back to him.
He kisses you now, his lips moving confidently against yours as he pulls you impossibly closer to him.
You’re both out of breath when you reluctantly pull away from one another. His lips are pink and a little swollen. You can’t imagine yours look much different.
“I do have feelings for you Lando.” You lean your forehead against his.
He smirks, a newfound confidence taking over. “Really? I couldn’t tell.”
You lightly push on his chest, escaping his hold. “Go away.” You laugh.
He’s quick to wrap his arms around you, holding you against his chest. His eyes travel down to your lips, then he gives you another quick kiss. His smirk is replaced with a grin when he pulls away. “Never.”
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j4keluver · 15 days
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7 acts of love
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heeseung knows you’re not a committed gamer like he is. ( “babe just one more round, i’ll sleep at 4:00 am, promise !” hee) he has multiple leauge accounts but one is specifically for you to play on. he keeps a steady ranking for you and teaches you one on one on that account without the pressure of competition. the only thing is that you can’t change the username since he’s the only one with the controls. guess you’re stuck with ‘donttouchmemybfcanfight’
believe it or not, jay is a journal fanatic. his multiple journals go from jotting grocery list to his most personal thoughts but there is a special journal that he keeps away from the eyes of anybody. it's a simple white journal with a polaroid of you taped to the top that is filled to the brim of song lyrics based on jay's fondness to you. there are little, wonky doodles of you on every page and he uses a photobooth strip of the both of you as a book mark. call him corny but god, this man loves you. who knows, this song might end up at your wedding?
jake never leaves the house without giving you a little smoochy, even when he leaves for early morning practice. in his words, 'your lips are just so addicting. i can never get enough.' (corny) when you're awake, he’ll always give you a kiss on the lips, dragging it longer than he needs to (“ you’re gonna be late-“ you “ i don’t care” *kiss* jake) when you’re asleep, it’ll be the lightest peck on the cheek or forehead. you’ll most likely still be sleeping until layla decides she wants some kisses too.
sunghoon isn’t the best with words when expressing his love for you and he knows that. he’s gotten better over the years but he’s still timid at times, feeling tounge tied at the thought of speaking up. you often fall asleep next to each other, you drifting off the sleep first. he'll turn to you, eyes turning into crescents, pure adoration flowing. he will slowly lift his hand to caress your check, so softly that it won't disturb. you with his touch being as gentle as a feather, he’ll whisper, “i love you”
the amount of photos sunoo has in his camera roll is actually insane. he takes an ungodly amount of photos of you. he doesn't delete any of them because he thinks you looks breathtaking in every picture. unless you really hate the picture and bribe with a kiss. even with that, only a select one or two get deleted. the pictures range from your date outings, you washing the dishes, to taking off your makeup. he’s run out of storage many times but refuses to delete your pictures and ends up buying more icloud.
with his spare time, jungwon can never doubt a good book. you also enjoying your selected books, you and him often wind down with some books you bought on a date. you were always used to scribbling your thoughts down on the side but your eyebrow corked when you see jungwon jotting down notes. “what are you doing?” you ask as you lean over to look. he closes the book and smiles, “nothing.” you shrug it off as jungwon continues to write how beautiful you look in this moment, attention long gone from the book. (she’s so beautiful oh me gee, hopefully she never opens this book, HER SMILE)
riki has artistic talent in a lot of aspects of his life. he becomes one with music when he dances, feeling every beat exude through his veins. his voice flows like smooth honey with lyrics. his art pieces blend in beautiful harmony to create an artwork even picasso would be proud of. he sketches you more than he would like to every admit. during class, lunch breaks, at night when he can’t sleep; he can’t help it. he knows your features like the back of his hand. every dimple, crease, texture, rosiness to your face, he never misses a detail.
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marvelfilth · 8 months
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Dookie the Matchmaker
Pairing: Tara Carpenter x f!reader
Warnings: mention of blood
Summary: She curses herself for forgetting to ask for your name, but she thinks it's better this way. She can't afford to get close to anyone. Not after Amber. Not after Quinn and Ethan.
Masterlist
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Tara falls in love.
It happens slowly, gradually. At first, she doesn't even notice, just keeps sending you awkward smiles and brief glances, long enough to be considered friendly, but not long enough to make you question her.
She sees you regularly during her economics class - it was one of the electives, and Sam made some good points about choosing it, so she did.
You're never late, always showing up a few minutes early, taking your seat near the window and drawing doodles in your notebook.
Tara doesn't even remember when she first started noticing you, she just knows that one day she walked in and her eyes zeroed in on your seat, corners of her mouth curling up at the familiar sight of you hunched over the desk, chewing on your pen.
You're never absent, so when she was forced to miss one of the lectures she ventured to you, hesitantly asking to borrow your notes.
She keeps telling herself she did that because she is an outcast now, no one in her class is willing to talk to her and seats closest to her always remain empty, but honestly she just wanted to hear your voice and maybe see you smile at her, if she's lucky.
Turns out luck was on her side that day, because the smile directed at her was wide and inviting, and you gave her your notes without a question.
She curses herself for forgetting to ask for your name, but she thinks it's better this way. She can't afford to get close to anyone. Not after Amber. Not after Quinn and Ethan.
She convinces herself that the looks she regularly receives in the halls don't bother her. She pretends she doesn't hear harsh words muttered behind her back. She sits at the farthest table at the cafeteria with Chad and Mindy by her side, looking away when she feels people staring.
She can't ignore the shove she receives after she hurries away from her economics class.
She looks up and fights the urge to throw up.
It's one of Ethan's friends, all bulky, tall and angry. Other students walk by without a second glance, and his lips curl in a way that makes her shiver.
She takes a deep breath and looks him straight in the eye, straightening her shoulders.
"What's going on?"
You're the last one to walk out, looking between them in confusion, one hand in your pocket, the other on the door behind you.
He smirks and cocks his head to the side, and she really really doesn't want you to see this.
"Are you deaf?" You ask, more forcefully this time, and to her surprise you choose to stand by her side, your shoulder brushing against hers in silent support.
"Just want to have a little chat. You should leave." He jerks his head at you, but you don't budge, your eyes narrowing.
"After you, Matthews."
You look at each other for a long moment, and Tara's about to finally speak up, tell you to just leave it and go, when he scoffs and walks past you, shouldering you harshly.
You roll your eyes and make sure he leaves, before turning to her with that warm smile and kind eyes, asking if she's okay, offering to walk her home.
She shakes her head, whispers a quiet thanks and rushes away, not looking back.
Later that night she cries in Sam's arms. No words are said out loud, but she knows her sister understands, can feel it in the press of lips on her temple and the tears that disappear in her hair.
Next morning they visit a dog shelter and come back home with another family member.
The dog doesn't take well to strangers.
Mindy and Chad, who are now living with them, shriek when they first see their new pet, jumping on the counter when the Doberman starts barking loudly. In the end, Sam is the one to calm everyone down, because Tara is too busy wheezing on the couch.
It takes two months for the dog to get used to the twins and they complain the whole time. But even they can't deny feeling this new sense of security.
"Dude, she's so good." Chad rambles on and on about some girl days later, while Tara picks at her salad distractedly, her thoughts on you and the shirt you decided to wear today. It showed off your arms and she idly wonders if you play any sports, but doesn't allow her mind to wander further.
Mindy laughs loudly and shakes her head.
"I'm telling you. You should've seen her, she's crazy." He exclaims, gaining attention of nearby students.
He doesn't look away like Tara does, instead he looks them in the eye and waits, daring them to say something. They never do, because Chad is Chad. And Tara is… well, she's just Tara.
"Okay, we got it. Or do you want everyone to know?" Mindy chuckles, elbowing her brother.
Chad takes a sip of his water and grins proudly. "As matter of fact, yes, I do. She's amazing and everyone needs to know that. I think she's in one of your classes, you need to introduce us," he directs at Tara to which she shrugs, trying to hide her sudden interest.
You're the only person she notices, and if you're the one he's talking about she has no desire to introduce you.
If she could, she would keep you to herself.
She blinks, surprised by her own thought and quickly shoves it into the deepest corner of her mind.
She finally understands what he was talking about when she sees you during basketball practice, practically annihilating the other team. She gulps and pointedly ignores the looks Mindy and Chad keep sending her, her eyes on your lean body as you send yet another ball through the hoop. You smile when your teammate slaps your back good-naturally and send her a wink, making Tara swoon in her seat at the bleachers.
You don't notice her at all, your eyes never stray away from the court, your chest glistening with sweat, making the smaller girl lick her lips.
"Are you drooling?" Mindy smirks.
Tara rolls her eyes and doesn't grant a response.
She spends the rest of the day wishing that wink was directed to her.
When she sees Matthews again it doesn't go the way she thought it would go.
You burst through a door, looking ragged and breathless. Tara runs into you, your eyes widening in alarm before you quickly hide your hands behind your back, and Tara immediately tenses up, unconsciously taking a step back. A moment later Matthews walks out of the same door, his nose bleeding profoundly. He blanches when he sees you, and backtracks, shutting the door behind him with a loud bang.
You shift sheepishly and apologize for startling her, but Tara doesn't hear any of it, all of her senses focused on the way your chest rises with each breath, the way your tongue darts out to wet your lips in a nervous gesture.
Tara blinks rapidly and curses quietly. She mutters a lame excuse and almost sprints out of the building, away from you, away from her unwanted feelings.
That night Sam tells her something that makes her heart skip a bit.
"We can't live our life in fear. Maybe… maybe you should give them a chance. But not before I meet them, of course."
The words leave her with a warm feeling in her chest. She doesn't know how Sam found out, but she's grateful nonetheless.
The problem is, she has no idea how to approach you. It wasn't easy to come up and ask for notes and you were strangers then, she wasn't fully aware of her feelings. Technically, you're still strangers, but you've saved her ass multiple times now and all she's done is run. So yeah, no one can blame her for not knowing how to approach you after she so carefully avoided any interaction with you for so long.
It happens right after she steps out of her favorite pizza place after picking up her order.
One moment she has a tight grip on the leash, pizza box in other hand, and the next, her dog is sprinting like there's no tomorrow, easily tugging Tara behind him.
The brunette struggles to keep up, pizza long forgotten in favor of trying to stop her dog, both of her hands getting white from the tight grip she has on the leash.
"Dookie!" She shouts, trying to stop her dog. "Dookie, stop!"
With one last harsh tug from the doberman she is forced to let go of the leash, huffing and sprinting after the dog. She is already panting, and by the time her dog rounds the corner she has half a mind to call Sam and make her chase the dog down herself. After all, it was her sister's idea to get one.
There's a yelp right before she rounds the corner and she runs faster, almost bumping into the rough concrete, panic coursing through her veins.
She stops in her tracks as soon as she sees you.
"Hey, buddy," you say, giggling.
The leash previously held in Tara's hand is now wrapped snugly around your legs, effectively keeping you in place. Her dog, the traitor that he is, is jumping at you in joy, trying to lick your face.
Now that she's sure no one's hurt, she takes a moment to get her breathing under control and to observe her supposedly very scary guard dog making you laugh. She can't help, but be jealous of the way her dog so easily got your attention.
She thinks about calling Sam, or Mindy, or even Chad, because she can't do this. She can't walk up to you when you're looking so breathtakingly beautiful, laughing unabashedly, your eyes glistening in the sunlight.
But she has no other choice now, seeing you nearly topple over when Dookie decides to make another lap around you.
"Stop it!" she whisper yells at the dog as soon as she nears the two of you.
You look up, surprised, and blink, before a grin overtakes your features. You try to face her and realize you can't even turn when your legs don't move an inch.
She bends and picks up the leash, embarrassment painted over her features. "I'm so sorry. He's never done that before," she chuckles awkwardly and tugs on the leash.
You yelp when the movement causes you to trip and fall into her arms, and she catches you without missing a beat, holding you while you regain your footing.
Her dog barks happily from behind you.
"Sorry," you mutter, trying to pry away from the leash, but the dog doesn't move from the place near your feet, drool dripping over your shoes.
Tara's sure she looks positively horrified at the sight of your drool covered shoes, her face feels like it's been set on fire. She crouches in front of you and begins to unwrap the leash, and you try to help her as much as you can, much to the dog's displeasure.
"There. All done." She gets up, her eyes darting around the street. "I'm really sorry about this. Don't know what's gotten into him, he's never tried to kidnap anyone before." She realizes just how true the words are as soon as they leave her lips.
Dookie hates strangers. It took Chad and Mindy almost a month to even pet the dog, much less cuddle with him like old friends, which is what you're doing now. She hums in thought, barely managing to hide a smile.
Dookie's approval means Sam's approval.
You laugh, shaking your head. "It's fine. Seems like he just wants to play. You're Tara, right?" You look up, squinting from the sun and the sight almost takes her breath away.
Her face burns and she curses herself for not even giving you her name after all the times you've saved her. But it seems you don't mind at all, smiling softly and looking away like you don't want to pressure her into having a conversation.
She decides she's done being afraid.
"Yes. And you're Y/n," she mumbles, suddenly shy. "And this is Dookie," she adds, gesturing to the dog jumping at your feet.
You get up from your crouch, laughing. "Dookie?"
"Short for Babadook. It's my favorite scary movie." She looks away momentarily, tension taking root in her shoulders as she awaits your reply.
"I hate scary movies." You make a face, shuddering.
She exhales with a chuckle and looks back to where she came from. "Wanna go look for the pizza I threw somewhere down this alley?" She asks jokingly, but she really really hopes you'll say yes.
"I'd love to," you smile, a red tint on your cheeks.
When she comes back home with a spring in her step and a happy grin in place, Sam smiles knowingly and gives her a hug that feels like home.
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totheblood · 1 year
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more modern!ellie headcanons
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a/n: just a little something... as always AI AUDIOS AT THE END... replies and reblogs are appreciated
ellie is a complete night owl
like you actually are concerned about when she sleeps
if you have an early morning class together she is always running late
or just doesn't show up so you would have to call her and wake her up
"hey baby, what's up i just woke up"
"ellie, class is about to start."
"oh shit, we have class today?"
she would sit next to you in any class you shared and scribble little doodles over to you
or communicate with you through notes
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ellie hates going out in public but she loves going with you to do your errands
you're going grocery shopping? ellie is there
you need to find new shoes? she is there
barnes and noble? she would probably be there before you
she likes to do this thing where she will pick out a book for you and you will pick out a book for her and you will sit in the back and spend your day reading together
sometimes she hates the books you pick out for her
"ugh, another colleen hoover book? i gave you a cool book and you give me colleen fucking hoover?"
"little women is cool?"
"i can't believe you just said that."
if you two are out in public together she likes to pretend that the two of you are a married couple
like for example if you're at the cash register and she brings an item up to you and asks if she could get it
"no ellie, put that back."
she would turn to the cashier and say something like "what the wife says, goes... am i right?"
even when she's not with you and she's out drinking at the bar with dina and jesse she would randomly be like, "the wife's not gonna like this one" and take another shot
or when she buys you lingere that is obviously not for her she would be like, "you know what they say, 'happy wife, happy life'"
ellie is really not a social person either
unless she is a few drinks deep which leads us to... drunk!ellie
drunk ellie is soooooo clingy and sentimental
not that she isn't regularly, she's just way more affectionate when drunk
her usual comments would be like, "you're so lucky i love you so much..." or "you're so cute when you're not patronizing me..."
but her drunk? "i think you're the best thing to have happened to me, please never leave me."
"being in love with you is all that matters to me right now... take your clothes off."
she's always touching you in some way if she's drunk
if she's drunk at dinner and she's next to you, her hand in on your thigh or her head is resting on your shoulder
if she's drunk at a party, her hands are on your waist at all times whether she's dancing with you or talking to others
she just wants to be around you
she also can't sleep without you if she's drunk
you would be trying to put her to bed and she would just grab your wrist and mutter a, "please stay"
ellie always orders something you like so you can pick off of her plate
"you want some, baby? i knew you were going to ask for some anyways."
she's always thinking of you
when she sees little trinkets she's like "aw my girlfriend would love this."
or when she sees someone trip in public she's like "i wish my girlfriend was here, i know she'd die laughing."
ellie reads you books so you can sleep
if she knows you had a particularly rough day she will be like, "you okay, babe? want me to read you something?"
and then your climbing in her bed and resting your head in the crook of her neck as she reads to you
she will send you a picture of any animal she sees on the street
loves getting you things because she loves your reaction to gifts
... the two of you study by getting to take an article of clothing off each time you get something right
let's just say you pass most of your tests
ai audios:
extras:
what the wife says, goes
happy wife happy life
the wife's not gonna like this one
you want some baby?
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taocard · 10 months
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soft headcannons with tr
♡ I grant a wish for whoever summons me and take one thing as a payment ♡   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ♡when Baji gets bored gets bored, he doodles on your hands. but if you don't like that he will draw all over your scrap papers that you're using to finish your homework ♡if you have a favorite scent (pumpkin, lavender, ect..) Mitsuya will spray it all over his room to remind him of you. especially when you come over so that he can make you happy with the smell ♡Chifuyu calls you late at night to ramble about the thoughts that are keeping him up (an anime or manga he finished), and he loves it when you do the same ♡Souya links pinkies with you whenever you’re out in public but Nouya prefers holding your entire hand ♡Inui is a sucker for when you play with his hair or massage his scalp ♡Wakasa likes when you trace random shapes and letters over his skin, and it becomes a game of some sorts for him to guess what you're tracing ♡Izana is the type who’ll set up a blanket on the roof of some penthouse for you two to lay on and look up at the stars together  ♡Sanzu is going to melt if you kiss his scars and making a comment about how all of him is beautiful  ♡if you come over to Souya to give him a hug, Nouya will ALWAYS pop up with a grin and says, “what about me?” ...they're a package deal :)) ♡When you need Kakucho’s opinion at a clothing store for if you look good, he will always say “you look wonderful in that” because he looks at you like you're a god from another realm ♡Koko will tell you if something isn't your style. he isn't afraid to tell you because he’ll magically have something in his hands that looks a million times better ♡Koko will always buy you the newest product from this beauty line you like before you even learned something new was out  ♡you know how they say when someone is in love, they tend to copy habits of who they love? Sanzu does this by having notifications set on his phone that involve your likes because he's starting like almost everything that you do ♡Inui loves when you hug him from behind. it doesn't matter if he's cooking, talking to Koko, or doing anything really. he likes having you close to him and enjoys the feeling of you nuzzling into his back ♡Shin is a total simp for you. he has a picture of you on the back of his phone, a picture of you in his wallet, an album on his phone that's just photos of you, and even has one in his coat pocket. at this point it's like he walks around with a shrine of you ♡Mikey learned from his older brother, and when he's talking to his friends and all of a sudden, his eyes will light up and he’ll say “oh this reminds me of this thing y/n did the other day” which then begins his long ramble about you. even if the conversation has nothing to do with you, he will always find a way to bring you up ♡Mitsuya has a sketchbook that is only filled with wedding dresses/suits with the idea and mind that you will walk down the aisle wearing one of these ♡Izana likes it when you sing as he plays his guitar even if you're awful and have so many voice cracks. he finds it adorable ♡Chifuyu has a picture in his phone somewhere of you napping with Peke J on your chest ♡Sanzu has your coffee order memorized. whenever he goes out to get coffee, he always orders you a cup as well. it's become such a habit that he's accidentally bought you coffee when you already had one ♡the first time Ran saw you doing skincare he was mesmerized. so, he wanted to join you and dragged Rin into it (despite the younger’s protests). now it's become a habit to do skincare with the Haitani brothers  ♡Mitsuya may be the caretaker in your relationship, but it’d just make his entire morning if you were to give him breakfast in bed ♡Chifuyu enjoys laying his head on your lap and hearing you read the light novel version of his favorite manga ♡Ran likes when you braid his hair for him. he secretly swings his braids around more harsh and crazier than usual when you do his hair just so that he can see you sigh and start to do his hair again and feel you brush it and stuff ♡Rindou loves cuddling but is too nervous to initiate so he’ll just sit and mope next to you on the couch until you realize. luckily you notice rather quickly because he won't stop fiddling with your sleeve ♡if you're cold Kakucho will IMMEDIATELY try to warm you up. this man is putting his scarf around you, trying to warm your hand by holding them in his, even giving up his whole coat and setting it on your shoulders, ect ♡as we all know Mitsuya takes care of Luna and Mana, and he just loves seeing you interact with his sisters. he likes seeing how comfortable they are with you and how they always ask, “when's the next time y/n-san comes over?”. It’s one of the things that made him realize he's in love with you ♡when you and Mikey cuddle, he’s lying on top of you and falls asleep to the sound of your heartbeat  ♡if you and Hakkai are out doing something together and your mom calls you to check up on you, he gives you the perfect silence you need. but right before you hang up, he’ll quickly exclaim “tell her i said hi!” ♡whenever Kazutora wants to hug you or give physical affection he always asks for permission first. for example, “hey baby can i-and you don't have to say yes- can I hug you?” please let him hug you and kiss his forehead :((
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sentientfunfetti · 6 months
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killer!wally/reader hcs
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(killer wally and his au were made by @itskorrychang on tumblr and twitter! go support their work!)
REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK APPRECIATED!
CW// THEMES OF DEATH, POSSESSIVENESS, ABANDONMENT AND LONELINESS.
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when you two first meet, he’s wary of you and a lot more aggressive. that is until you show that you’re not a threat. it takes a while, but when he finally does fall for you he’s head over heels. to the point you can’t leave his sight. he follows you everywhere.
due to the fear of you abandoning him, and him being all alone again, it’s only natural that he takes steps to make sure that just won’t happen. let it be locking doors, hiding keys, not answering questions. he hates lying, but if it makes you stay the he’s all for it. some things are better kept secret, after all.
speaking of questions: he loves both asking and answering them…but everyone has their limits. unfortunately for you, you tend to reach that limit very easily. if you ask too many too much, he’ll just…stare at you. eyes wide. pupils dilated. lips pressed into a thin line. silent…then carry on as if nothing happened! try not to push his buttons too much. he’s not above putting his pallet knife to use…
can’t imagine a world without you. you’re the kindest neighbor ever, after all!
loves everything about you. especially your eyes. eye contact was a bit hard for him after he lost one of his own, but after you showed up and showed you were accepting of that fact, oh boy did he love that. he loves your eyes, the color, the way they widen when your surprised…the fact you have both of them…
paints you religiously. he doesn’t even need you to model anymore. it seems like every time you turn around theres a new piece, or doodle of you somewhere.
more than anything, he just loves having you around. you brighten his day, make him smile, ease the pain of loneliness. you’re just so sweet. you make him feel warm and fuzzy. he can’t get enough of you.
as soon as you break down his walls, he’d do anything for you. anything. draw blood, trash all of his paintings, take his other eye. anything. all he wants to do is make you smile. make you stay. make you want him. he still doesn’t fully understand romance, or love, but all he knows is that you make him feel something new. something good.
if you two fight, he immediately comes to you apologizing. he’d break into sobs if you didn’t forgive him, and immediately beg you to stay. don’t leave him. if you refuse…well…
in short, he would make you stay if he needed to. he can’t have his favorite neighbor leaving so soon! he’d tie you up to a chair, and feed you everyday. he’d take good care of you. he’d let you out one day if you promise not to try and leave again. if not, then, it’s back to the chair! womp womp!
also loves the fact you’re taller than him. loves when you pick him up and move him around, the fact you have to look down at him, the fact you can cradle him so easily in your arms, he loves sleeping with you, and watching you sleep. you look so peaceful…
speaking of sleep. he’s plagued by nightmares and night terrors (yes those two things are separate things and conditions). you wake up to him screaming and kicking frequently, begging for his late neighbors to stay, for them to stop. at first, you were to afraid to comfort him, or wake him up, but after a bit you began to hold him close, whispering that it was just a dream in his ear as you watch his body relax.
he loves watching you sleep. when he wakes up from nightmares in the middle of the night and you aren’t woken up by his tossing and turning, he just sits up and watches over you. he feels nice knowing that you and him are safe there, together. you’re safe with him. always.
sometimes, he enjoys taking care of you too. he’ll sing to you as you fall asleep, tell you stories, teach you how to draw, anything that puts a smile on your face and makes your day.
when you two aren’t painting or overall just hanging out together, one of his favorite things to do is cuddle you. he loves feeling your body against his (not like that calm down), and he loves looking into your eyes while you two cuddle. more than anything, he loves listening to your heartbeat. it’s something he lacks, and he’s fascinated by it.
he’s fascinated about everything biological with you. one thing he can’t seem to grasp is the fact you can eat…like actually eat. with your mouth. he gasped when he first saw you bite into one of the apples he gave you. he also loves how squishy you are. the feeling of your skin is different than his fuzzy skin. he lets you ask your questions about his anatomy too…as long as you don’t ask too much.
has frequent hallucinations, and episodes where he becomes frantic, irritated and paranoid. sometimes he accuses you of hurting his friends, and taking them away. as scary as it is, you take the time to calm him down, get the knife away from him, and remind him that you’re here for him. that you care. be appreciates this, and most times takes a nap afterwards having spent all his energy tearing the studio apart looking for his friends.
wants to introduce you to Barnaby one day…or at least what’s left of him. doesn’t allow you into the other neighbors houses AT ALL. “neighbor…it’s rude to go into other peoples houses without knocking…naughty naughty…!”
at the end of the day, he’s harmless. as long as you stick around and make sure he��s in high spirits, this can only end well!
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author’s note ⊹˚. ♡
just wanted to do some killer wally hcs. i absolutely love this little guy! such a silly little fellow! wahoo!
anyway, i have a few requests to do and some more of my own hcs i wanna do. if you have any requests, don’t be afraid to request them! until then :3
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roosterforme · 1 year
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Something to Talk About | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley knew the rumors were circulating. He knew his friends were talking. But he had known you for such a long time, and you were just friends. Because if something was going to happen between the two of you, it would have happened by now. Right?
Warnings: Fluff and swearing
Length: 1900 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This was written for a request. And also because mak-32 said Rumor by Lee Brice would make a good fic. Check out my masterlist for more!
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"Hey, Bradshaw, where's your girl?" Jake asked with a smirk. "Haven't seen Yankee all night, and it's getting late."
Bradley shot him some side eye from his stool near the pool table. "She's not my girl. And as far as I know, she went out for dinner with some guy she met at the gym."
"At the gym on base?" Nat shook her head and laughed. "You know how those Navy guys are, Rooster. They only want one thing." 
Bradley rolled his eyes. "She can take care of herself."
"Hey, Payback," Nat called out. "Why do you go to the gym on base?"
"Pick up girls," Reuben replied without hesitation from the other side of the pool table. 
"See?" Nat said to Bradley. "And I don't believe you when you try to tell me there's nothing going on with her. She's constantly touching you, and you get a stupid looking smile around her."
"Just friends," Bradley muttered, taking a sip of his beer. He'd known you since flight school in Pensacola. He'd been stationed with you in Norfolk and Corpus Christi. Now you and he were both back at Top Gun. If something was going to happen between the two of you, it would have happened by now. "Just good friends."
"Friends don't undress each other with their eyes," Nat said, batting her eyelashes at him while the guys laughed. 
Bradley shook his head. He didn't undress you with his eyes, but it wasn't his fault that you were pretty. And you most certainly did not look at him that way. "She doesn't even date other aviators. And she once called me an adorable puppy dog of a man. Just friends."
"There she is," Jake drawled, and Bradley's head snapped around so quickly to see you heading their way. "Hey, Yankee, looking good," Jake called out. 
"Shut up, Hangman," you returned as you got close, but you were smiling at them. You always seemed to be smiling, but seeing you dressed up was a real treat. Bradley was used to you wearing flight suits and khaki uniforms every day. 
When Bradley stood, you walked right up to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. "How was your date?" he asked quietly, trying to ignore the looks the others were giving him.
"He was so stupid, Rooster. He could barely string a sentence together. Just a dumb jock," you replied looking up at him with wide eyes. Bradley held you a little tighter; so maybe his feelings for you went just the tiniest bit past platonic. 
"Aww, give the guy a chance, Yankee Doodle Dandy. Maybe he's just not used to how pretty you are. Maybe he got distracted." 
You rolled your eyes at him. "You know I hate it when you call me that." But you were still smiling. "Wanna know the funniest part? He actually asked me when you and I broke up."
Bradley's brow creased. "You and I? Us?"
"Yeah!" you laughed. "Apparently there are rumors we're together. Crazy."
"Yeah... crazy," he agreed, rubbing your back through the fabric of your dress. "Why would anyone think that?" he mused out loud as you pressed your cheek against his chest. You sighed contentedly against him, and when Bradley glanced over to the pool table, he saw his friends all scrambling to pretend they weren't watching you together. 
"I have no idea," you told him softly. 
Bradley cleared his throat. "If this guy was no good, maybe you need to reevaluate who you're going out with, Yankee Doodle. That's like five duds in a row."
You groaned. "I hate it when you're right. I'm getting a drink," you announced. "Anyone need anything?"
Bradley watched as you and Fanboy walked away to get some drinks from Penny. But you kept glancing his way while you and Mickey talked. And maybe Bradley shouldn't be surprised that people thought you and he were together. The two of you had always been comfortable around each other. 
"Could the two of you possibly stand any closer together?" Nat asked, drawing Bradley's attention away from your legs in that short little dress that you had wasted on another shitty date.
He just shook his head. "Nah. She treats Mickey the same way she treats me." But Bradley was starting to have a hard time believing that. 
You and Mickey were a few feet apart, and you were smiling as he was talking animatedly with his hands. But you seemed to reserve a different smile just for Bradley, one that would make his heart ache a little bit if he ever saw you give it to anyone else. 
Nat laughed and patted his arm. "Yeah, okay," she said sarcastically. "I'm just saying, if you want these rumors to stop, the two of you are definitely going about it the wrong way. You look like you're already in a relationship."
A relationship. Bradley would know what the press of your lips against his felt like. He would know all about the needy sounds you made in bed. He would know how it felt to hold you all night. But he knew none of those things. Did he want to?
"Here you go." You were holding another bottle of beer out to him, nudging him in the chest with it when it took him a moment to return from his hazy thoughts of spending a lazy Sunday in bed with you. 
"Thanks, Doodle Dandy," he murmured, and the soft smile that found its way to your lips had him thinking about kissing you. He cleared his throat a few times before taking a sip of the beer and sitting down on the stool. "So, was your dinner at least good? If your date was a dumb as you said, I hope you got a decent meal out of it."
And then your smile was gone as you looked into your vodka cranberry. "We got seafood, and it was delicious. And I made sure to stay and order dessert after he made a comment about my size. He said he usually doesn't date girls with big hips, but I had a cute face, so he'd make an exception."
Bradley froze, gaping at you, and when you met his eyes, you looked so vulnerable. You never looked vulnerable. You were a fast talking fighter pilot who never put up with his shit. But you were also a woman with feelings that had been hurt by some faceless asshole who Bradley would gladly pound into the ground given the opportunity. 
"He's wrong, Doodle," Bradley said, reaching for you and pulling you closer. You let one hand rest on his thigh as you stood between his knees. "Well, not about your face. But the rest of it...he's dead wrong."
You shrugged and smiled at him. "Thanks, Rooster. I'll be fine. I realized he was an idiot before he even said that stuff." You sipped your drink while Bradley leaned in closer. 
"I think I have a solution for your problem, Yankee Doodle." His nose was just a few inches from yours, and now you were leaning one of those decadent hips against the inside of his thigh. Your hand slid an inch further up his leg, and he had to stifle a moan. 
"Which problem is that, Rooster?"
"These guys. These shitty guys keep asking you out, but you deserve a good one," he whispered, and your eyes dipped down to his lips. "One who would tell you how fucking perfect you are. You're fucking perfect, Yankee."
"Oh," you gasped softly. "Rooster?"
He smiled at your surprised expression. "Everyone already thinks we're together anyway. I mean, we can shut these rumors down, if that's what you want. Or we could keep everyone talking. You could probably get me to do anything you want, really."
"How.... hmmm," you hummed, rattling the ice in your cup and avoiding his gaze. But you weren't moving away from him. If anything you were creeping a little closer. "How would we keep everyone talking?"
Bradley stroked your chin with his thumb and tilted your face gently so your eyes met his. "I could kiss you... if you want."
You licked your lips and searched his face. "If you kissed me, would you just be feeding into the rumors?"
Bradley watched the movement of his fingers as he let them drift back along your jaw and wrap around to tease the back of your neck. "No, Dandy. I'd be feeding into this crush I have on you. Which is why I've never done it before."
Your eyes drifted closed as you tilted your head a bit, and Bradley's pulse went wild. Every alarm bell in his head was going off, warning him that he'd get his heart broken if you were only going to kiss him for fun. But he couldn't stop you, because he didn't want to. 
With a soft sigh, your lips met his, and Bradley instantly knew you and he should have done this sooner. Your kiss was sweet as your lips gently explored his. He pulled you closer, his firm fingers stroking up and down the back of your neck until your palm rested on his chest. He could feel the prickle of his mustache against your skin as he nibbled gently on your bottom lip. The soft noise you made spurred him on, but now you were pulling away, meeting his eyes with that same tentative look. 
Bradley could feel the cold condensation on his jeans where your glass had come to rest, but everywhere else he was so warm. He took your glass and his beer bottle in his free hand and set them down on the table behind him. "Come here, Doodle," he whispered, now tracing your cheek with his knuckles. 
Your arms went around his neck, and you were pressing against him, tucked snug between his spread legs. "I hate it when you call me that," you whined softly, pressing your lips against his a little rougher this time. It took everything in Bradley not to climb off the stool and push you against the wall when your fingers found their way into this hair. 
"No, you don't," he whispered, breaking the kiss to taste your neck. 
"No, I don't," you agreed. When his mouth returned to yours, you parted your lips for Bradley, and he tasted you there, too. He stroked your cheek, and you peppered his lips with soft kisses before you pulled away a few inches. "I liked that."
"So did I," he agreed with a laugh. "We should do that all the time."
You nodded and kissed his cheek, and then Bradley realized all the other aviators were staring at both of you with varying looks of surprise. Except for Nat. She was smirking.
When you glanced over your shoulder to see where Bradley was looking, you waved at everyone. 
"Are the rumors true then? You two are into each other?" Nat asked, casually sipping her drink.
You turned back and looked at Bradley with hopeful eyes and a grin. "Are the rumors true, Rooster?"
He wrapped his hands around your waist and nodded at the others. "Yeah. Rumors are true." Then he stood and pulled you against him, dipping his head down for another kiss while you smiled. 
----------------------------
Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls for putting up with me. And I hope @abaker74 finds a real life Rooster, because that's what you deserve!
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harrysonlylover · 9 months
Text
Little One
Summary: A small glimpse into CEO Harry’s past followed by a life changing news.
Trope: CEO! H
WC: 3.5k
Warnings: mentions of pregnancy.
A/n: Unedited and not proofread.
CEO Harry Masterlist
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Harry knew that he wanted to be someone relevant when he was a kid.
He observed as doctors were thanked for their service, engineers for their genuineness and architects for their dedication. He was eager to have a similar experience and wash his ego with such praise.
Whatever he decides to do, would be for the greater good. Small gestures or even small actions are still as important, especially when others do not see it.
As Harry grew up, he found himself fleeing away from science. It’s not that he disliked it, in fact he was a genius at biology, yet he couldn’t imagine it as a career. He found solace in art classes, he’d draw sketches until the bell rang and sometimes his teacher would let him stay because he never realized that class was over.
First, it started as a habit. Drawing doodles to pass time whenever boredom strikes. Then, it became an outlet for his biology obsession. Delicately move the pencils to focus on the vein, give the artery more shadow, maybe memorize the anatomy using his drawings.
But teenagers are complicated and jump fast from one obsession to another. Deep down he had a soft spot for biology, but he left it aside and focused on something more revolutionary.
When he discovered his love for lust in college, he was more than obsessed and not in a hormonal frat boy way. He’d daydream about his partners, their body and skin, how long he can tease them, how much can his and their bodies take.
It consumed his thoughts day and night but especially his drawings. With the consent of his hookups, he’d use his vision and sex appeal that would create a sketch full of lust and gift it to them as a memoire.
The world was so different back then. The idea of sex and pleasure wasn’t appealing to everyone and neither was exploration. Rumors were spread about him, how he fucks his partners and doesn’t pursue any further relationships. He never really addressed anything, because he knew that behind closed doors, his number one rule was no attachment.
By being aware of his honesty he had nothing to worry about. At least the rumors did include how good he was at sex but he wouldn’t call that a rumor.
He was shamed for his love for lust along with his interest in exploring his sexuality. The other frat boys wrote slurs on his textbooks and car just for being seen kissing a boy. He didn’t care nor respond. It’s quite pathetic that his preference pissed other people off.
He does remember one specific partner who helped him explore the most. She was into toys and helped him delve deeper into pleasure yet it wasn’t a surprise when she’d ask to quit the toys because they weren’t as comfortable nor pleasing.
And the rest is history.
He slowly began receiving thoughts about his own line, some shapes for the toys, a certain structure suitable for the anatomy of men and woman. It was a risky idea, who would take a college boy seriously about sex toys?
He was a very intelligent boy who earned himself a scholarship to business school, so all of his savings from his job at a local pizza store went to his campaign.
The nude photoshoot was definitely the icebreaker. People who shared similar personalities and interests defended him against the public eye and supported his brand. He’d never forget how he started with only 2000$ in his pocket, looking for a lab to run the tests for him, late nights sketching and experimenting with modules.
All of his struggles morphed together to get him to where he is now. He may not be praised like people with noble professions but he can’t deny the impact he made. He helped many youngsters to come out of their shell and indulge in pleasure. Many happily married couples even met thanks to Pleasing.
Harry Styles is a relevant man but something was missing.
He remembers the pang in his chest when he met you, how he flew from one country to another after a business meeting to avoid being late for your first date. He was like a blind puppy walking behind you.
As much as he liked being careful with his dates for the sake of his public image, he was ready to jump feet first when it came to you. Love at first sight was a bullshit idea for him, but after you, he began rethinking all of his ideologies.
He’d sit in his chair during dates, his hand fixed under his chin as he listened intently to you. The glimmer in your eyes when you talk about something you love, telling him about your comfort book, why pandas are underrated creatures, the cute ducks you feed in the park, your standard job that you refuse to upgrade from because no one would treat the elderly owner nicely.
He can’t remember the number of times he rescheduled meetings so he could spend time with you. You were a beautiful soul whose confidence at his sex club captured everyone’s attention. He knew that every man and woman were attracted to you and he didn’t like that.
He took you everywhere and showed you all the places you haven’t seen before, as well as his comfort shops that he visits whenever he’s feeling overwhelmed which was pretty often due to being the CEO.
He had known you for three months only but they felt like three years. The feeling of being overwhelmed from work slowly turned into being overwhelmed from your presence around him. He was aware of how long he’d stare at you but god he couldn’t help it.
Sex was so different for the first time in his life. He never imagined that loving someone would make it this intense. He wanted to memorize every inch, worship your body, surrender himself to you and allow you to explore as much as you liked.
Even now, after being with you for two years, he still gets the same ache in his chest upon being around you. The honeymoon period will never end for you, you’re just aligned energetically.
He adores having his skin near yours, it restores his energy and grounds him. Stealing kisses is his job, allowing his fingers to linger a little longer, appreciating your chats about the mundane and important things, buying you properties because “you deserve it”.
He was very giddy and stressed the days prior to proposing and broke down in tears when you said yes. Although he was eager to officially make you his wife, he was already calling you his and introducing you to everyone as his life partner.
You had decided to postpone the wedding to make Pleasing’s second branch opening in Italy smooth which he was very thankful for. You didn’t mind a simple wedding with no guests but he wanted a huge ceremony to show you off despite his love for secrecy.
“I want everyone to look at you and know that you’re mine for life, and whatever comes after life,  that they’ll never be as lucky as I am.”
You recall his words quite well as he placed a ruby diamond ring on your finger and kissed it.
After that, a huge shift happened. Bigger than the one he felt upon meeting you. He couldn’t tame his thoughts when he found out you were extra fertile. He always knew deep down that he wanted you to be the mother of his children yet it was so different when it became reality.
He was aching to be a father and it grew to be his purpose, it gave him a feeling that Pleasing never provided. The feelings during sex doubled, it became more intense and primal, butterflies in your tummies and sweaty bodies clinging to each other.
Just the mere thought of getting to breed you had him weak in the knees, the chemicals in his brain shifted and all he could think about was making sure you’re always full of his seed day and night.
He didn’t think that it would be possible to become more obsessed with you, but boy was he wrong. His biology obsession sneaked itself back into his life, the nights when he wasn’t balls deep inside of you, he’d make you Red Raspberry leaf tea (amazing for fertility), have you sat in his lap as he reads pregnancy books.
You found random books around the house with topics about the pregnancy phases, child psychology, postpartum, hormonal shifts, making the pregnant woman comfortable and understanding her emotions, along with the anatomy of a fetus starting from the first weeks till birth.
You had never seen someone so dedicated to being a good father and partner. He didn’t even want you to move around a lot or do anything that might upset you.
You both knew that sooner or later you’ll get pregnant, not only because you were so fertile, but because you acted like horny rabbits around each other. He filled you up any chance he got and used a plug to keep his seed inside of you before pulling it out at night to give you another load.
His number one rule was giving you as many orgasms as you needed and whenever you needed. He knows how your hormones become as you near ovulation, you get more feral than him. As much as your breeding sessions were fun, he’ll miss doing his duty in getting you round and swollen and all the dirty talk he used to rile you up.
“Gonna give me a sweet baby like you? Guess I’ll just have to keep filling you up.”
However you must admit that your favorite moments were getting him riled up by acting like a brat.
“Acting so careless as if I don’t own your womb, as if your cunt doesn’t beg for me to breed it every night.”
Just him whispering his filthy thoughts in your ear made you so goddamn weak. You knew that you getting pregnant will not stop him from being the primal man he is, in fact you have an inkling that some more kinks will come out.
It’s been over a month since his breeding obsession began, you didn’t keep up with your cycle app, Harry did. Although it might reveal a lot to him, you’re thankful that he can’t know about your pregnancy unless you tell him.
You’ve been noticing some changes over the past few days, and despite the difference in every woman’s body some of the common symptoms occurred to you like tender breasts, nausea and random headaches. Not only are they pregnancy factors but you also never suffered from them during menstruation.
These symptoms are the exact reason you purchased three different brands of pregnancy tests. You went to the store when Harry left the house right after making love to you.
The three tests are laid on the bathroom counter in front of you. You couldn’t wait till Harry returned from work and immediately peed on them then set up a timer of 2 minutes.
Call it an early mother instinct but you know that you’re pregnant. You won’t be disappointed if the result is negative, it’s simply that your body can already feel your little one growing inside you.
Your thoughts are interrupted by the timer setting off. It takes you a few seconds before jumping on your feet and taking a cautious look at the three tests.
Test 1: Plus sign
Test 2: Two lines
Test 3: Two lines
All of the tests are designed differently but show the same result: you’re pregnant with Harry’s child.
You couldn’t hold back your tears as you stared back at the positive tests and placed a protective hand over your stomach.
You’re pregnant.
You’re going to be a mom.
And Harry… the flow of tears intensified when you imagined him as a dad or how he’d react to such news. You were so adamant on getting pregnant that you didn’t think of how he’d find out.
It took a while for the news to settle in and you couldn’t keep your hand away from your stomach. The tears coated your face even more as you rubbed your hand back and forth, noticing the ring harry bought for you on your finger.
Your lovely little family.
After you washed your face and calmed down, you excitedly ran back to your bedroom and fetched your polaroid camera to take a picture in the mirror for the memories. Harry bought you a huge album book where you can place the photos in and leave notes under them. You’ll write down ‘When I found out about our baby’ under it but it felt weird since Harry wasn’t present.
Your thoughts drifted to him, how he’s sitting in his office so clueless about everything. How he made love to you this morning and kept pressing kisses to your collarbone , calling you the most beautiful names.
You began crying again upon thinking about  him. God, what an amazing dad he’ll be. You’re not sure if you’ll be able to successfully pull off the pregnancy reveal in a cute way. You’re way too emotional for that.
You sanitized the pregnancy sticks and placed them in a gift box, before covering them with confetti and putting the polaroid picture on top. You couldn’t think of any other way and besides you wanted it to be simple.
All he has to do is come home.
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The house was unbelievably quiet when Harry unlocked the front door. He’s aware that while being away , you feel like going out sometimes maybe have a random shopping spree or simply buy a refreshing drink.
Usually you’d text him, not because he’s an obsessed controlling partner but you guys love updating each other on your day. You’ve been doing that since you began dating.
You barely replied to his texts today which made him concerned and a bit pouty, especially now that the house feels empty as if you’re not here.
“Honeyyy? I’m back, where are you?” His voice echoed as he took off his shoes near the door and placed the flower bouquet he gets you every day on the kitchen counter.
His feet dragged him to the living room where an empty dish and mug were left near the sofa making him frown because you have a thing for neatness.
He took the stairs and headed straight to your shared bedroom where the door was left ajar, a sigh of relief left his lips as he spotted your figure on the carpet hunched over items he can’t see.
“My sweetheart you made my stomach drop, I called for you.” You turned around at his remark giving him your sweet smile that he adores.
“I was so focused here I didn’t notice.” You pointed to the mess in front of you. He took a closer look and went down on his knees next to you before wrapping his arms around you and leaving a kiss on your forehead.
You were going through some old albums of his and yours, the photos were distributed under your feet along with some letters and cards you both kept since you were children.
“What made you look through all of this?” He couldn’t resist giving your forehead another kiss and pulling your body to his so that your back was resting against his chest.
“I felt nostalgic I guess.” You shrugged picking up a photo of baby Harry swimming butt baked in a mini baby pool. The first time he showed it to you, you laughed so hard and spat your juice on his shirt. It made him a bit pouty so you had to kiss him and reassure him that your reaction was like that because he’s adorable.
You fetched two more photos, one that belongs to you and one to Harry. He was wearing a dalmatian puppy costume as he showed off a big smile while your photo included a sassy version of you holding a cotton candy stick as you posed for the camera with your hair styled in piggytails.
“Look at us being so extra, our baby is going to be amazing.” You chuckled as tears welled up in your eyes at what Harry doesn’t know.
“I think they’re going to have your soft hair and my teeth.” He whispered with his cheek laid against yours. His adoration and love for being a dad is making your heart burst especially that his hand is so close to your stomach when he doesn’t know his best friend is in there.
You can already imagine your baby and his thoughts aren’t helping. He is a gorgeous man and you could squeal just from thinking about their genetics.
“I think pictures are a great way to preserve love.” You couldn’t help the tear that fell from your eye as you thought of all the pictures you could take with your baby and Harry.
“Hmm it’s true my love. They’re like a time capsule.” He didn’t notice your wet cheek as he was too enamored by your pictures that he’s seen a thousand times.
You eyed the little gift box that bears the wonderful news and knew that no moment can be more perfect than this one.
“H, could you please grab this box and check what’s in it.” You pretended to busy yourself with the photos beneath you as he nodded and fetched the pink box.
You could’ve sworn that time went still in those few seconds, his arm reaching for the box and his focused gaze. It was all in slow motion, his hand opening the lid, the furrow in his eyebrows when he notices the polaroid seeing that it is you wearing the same clothes as now.
But that one second, half a second even when his hands move the confetti and spot the pregnancy tests. That moment itself is full of pure love that no time capsule can contain, it is something that could only be passed on from one generation to another.
“I- bab- What?” His hands begin to shake as he picks up the three tests in one hand while you allow the tears to flow both at his reaction and the memory you’re sharing.
“I’m pregnant.”
You move your body closer to him as he appears to have entered a state of shock. His arms are still trembling while his eyes cannot seem to hold his tears nor his excitement, his sniffles grew louder as he dropped his head in your lap.
“We’re gonna make our own time capsule and memories.” You whispered to your fiancée who’s full on sobbing in your lap.
You raised his head and cupped his cheeks smashing them in the process as some of his tears fell into your palm, his lips were pouty and trembling which urged you to kiss them. You reached for his hand and placed it on your tummy under your shirt and you could’ve sworn he let out a hiccup from crying.
“Our Baby?” He questioned as more tears stained his cheeks.
“Yes my love. Our Baby.” You laid your foreheads against each other sharing sloppy kisses unable to contain the love that is overwhelming your tiny human hearts.
You can’t remember for how long you stayed in that position, an hour maybe less just holding your bodies close and whispering love confessions as you think of your little darling.
“What’s with the polaroid of you?” Harry managed to ask after calming down.
“I took it to remember the day I found out about the pregnancy but it felt missing… you should be in it.” He suddenly jumped on his feet and helped you to get up before frantically rummaging through his drawer and fetching his film camera.
He said nothing as he held your hand and walked you over to the mirror. He positioned your body in front of him and wrapped an arm around your stomach before pressing his lips to the back of your head due to the height difference.
He turned on the camera and muttered a ‘smile honey’ before taking the picture that will live on and on.
The old childhood photos are still discarded on the ground. The two of you bask in the silence and love as he rubs on your tummy and kisses your earlobe every now and then.
Harry Styles is a very respected man of both authority and wealth. He doesn’t need a noble profession to feel proud but it turns out that he doesn’t need Pleasing either.
The relevancy he always looked for existed in your presence and the knowledge of becoming a father.
Harry Styles is a relevant man through his fatherhood and for him nothing else will matter.
You felt his chest vibrate as his chuckle echoed through the room. You laced your fingers through his and angled your head backwards.
“What are you laughing about?”
“I knocked you up.”
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cherryflavoredvamp · 1 year
Text
Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time
Part 2
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Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female reader
Summary: An innocent game of teasing your best friend Eddie drives him to the point of obsession and lust. Taboo as it may be, Eddie Munson can’t seem to keep his hands to himself when it comes you, his best friend who he's fallen head over heels for
Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, Eddie is really slutty & irresistible, soft dom Eddie, condescending mean Eddie that's obsessed with reader, Eddie being a sweetheart too, mentions of Ronance, sneaky sex *Steve is in the same room as it’s happening, a lot of other sexy things that I want to be a surprise, etc.
Author's Note: This was originally going to be short & sweet, but I got too into it. Oh, and make sure to comment & reblog if you liked it. It really helps and encourages me to share my writing. Enjoy! <3
There’s been a change in Eddie Munson lately that you couldn’t ignore. Ever since you started hosting Friday get togethers at your new house, Robin and Nancy being your roomates, you noticed Eddie started looking at you differently. Robin and Nancy were too busy being lovebirds to note this change in behavior, but Steve was all too perceptive. The last two times he pulled you to the side to ask if there was anything going on between you two.
"No, we're just friends. I know he's been...off lately, but it's probably nothing."
"Maybe he has a crush on you," Steve nudges your elbow with a smile, you scoff at this.
"He does not," you assure Steve, laughing it off.
"He's been doing more than just staring you know, I see the way he passes you in tight spaces and always wants to sit next to you on our movie nights. And he stares at your ASS, like constantly. You need to talk to him, because if he's making you uncomfortable I'll kick his a-"
You interrupt Steve, "Don't. I'll handle this, I'll talk to him next week on movie night. Besides, I don't really mind it that much," you shrug and cross your shoulders, trying to sound nonchalant about this admission.
The truth was you really didn't mind at all, in fact, Eddie's longing looks and lingering touches ignited something in you. It was thrilling when he did it. Two weeks ago Eddie offered to help you cook dinner, hovering over you as you stirred the pasta. Eddie had dipped his head onto your shoulder and held onto your hip pressing himself to your ass, sniffing the pot of pasta, his head lolling over to ask you if you thought it needed more garlic salt.
"I don't know, what do you think? You think it smells edible?" You couldn't concentrate with him this close, much less answer truthfully. Your head was clouded with the closeness of him, the heat from the pasta fanning both of your faces. You felt warm in more than one place.
Eddie took the spoon and had you taste test, "hmm, maybe oregano," you answered.
"Here you got a little something," Eddie used his thumb to wipe away some sauce from the corner of your mouth, then proceeded to lick his thumb. It was almost pornographic the way he did it, sucking on his thumb for a brief moment that felt like forever. In that moment all you wanted to do was ask him to put his fingers in your mouth.
Then there was the time Steve offered to take everyone to the lake, Robin and Nancy had a date night already planned so they were out. But that left you, Eddie, and Steve being the only ones going.
"So, whose the third wheel in this situation," Steve joked while driving Eddie's van to the lake, you were in the passenger seat and Eddie was in the back. Eddie seemed to be distracted doodling in his notebook, maybe he was writing something, you weren't sure.
"No one's third wheeling, god, uneven numbers don't mean shit," you say rolling your eyes at Steve.
"You say that, but someone always feels left out when there's only three. Robin and Nancy somehow even it all out, maybe it's because Robin has enough personality to fill a room and make everyone feel included, and special, you know?"
"You're just pissy because Robin couldn't come," you tell Steve, he rolls his eyes right back at you and laughs.
"No shit, she's my best friend. I guess I'm still not used to not giving her rides everywhere, ever since Nancy got a car I feel like I don't see her anymore. It blows, but hey, seeing her less means I get to see more of you. That's always a plus," Steve says, and you're never really sure if he sees you as a potential love interest or just flirts casually. Either way, it made you blush a little.
"Yeah, you think so?" You say, blushing in the passenger seat.
"I know so," Steve smirks, glancing over at you and your heart jumps a little.
Eddie pipes up from the back, "get a god damn room, jesus christ," he tries to hide the hurt in his voice. The thought of you with Steve made him jealous, even though Eddie had a crush on Steve, he couldn't help being so drawn to you.
Steve pulls into a nearby gas station, "do you guys need anything, snacks, drinks? It's on me."
"I'm good," you say.
"Cherry coke," Eddie answers, Steve nods and shuts the drivers door, leaving you and Eddie alone in silence.
Eddie's the first one to talk, of course, "why do you get the front seat and I sit in the back?"
"What, do you wanna trade or something. I don't mind," you say turning to Eddie. Eddie's wearing a white tshirt and black swim shorts, you've never really seen him this casual and it's sort of taking you aback but you try not to stare too much at the way his white tshirt is see-through enough to show his tats underneath.
"We can both sit up front, how about that," Eddie lights up with the idea.
"How does that even work," you ask, a sassy tone resonating in your voice.
"I'll show you," Eddie says climbing out of the back and opening up the passenger door, climbing in and lifting you up to place you on his between his spread legs. "See, now it's fair, we both get to sit next to King Steve."
You can't help but notice how Eddie's hands rest on your knees, drawing little circles. For once, you're speechless and little do you know, it will take a week to process what happens at the lake.
It was nightfall and the three of you had made a fire, made smores and hot dogs, telling ghost stories and drinking wine and beer. When it hit 12 am Steve refused to sleep in the van like Eddie suggested because, "If I'm going to camp, I'm going to do it the old fashioned way on the ground in my sleeping bag. Enjoy the van, I'm sleeping next to the fire."
"Good for you, Harrington," Eddie says crawling into the back of the van where he had set up an air mattress with blankets and pillows, I'm not big and strong like you."
"Goodnight, kids" Steve says playfully before cuddling up in his sleeping back next to the dying fire.
"Are you coming," Eddie asks, you're standing right outside of the van, cursing yourself for not bringing a sleeping back. Eddie stretches a hand to meet yours and you take it, hopping in the back of the van with him where he shuts the doors and it becomes increasingly clear how close you two were on the edge of the air mattress.
"Thanks, by the way," you blurt aloud, "I don't really like the idea of sleeping on the ground anyways," you hold a pillow to your chest. You're wearing your bikini from the lake swim, feeling a little self conscious from the lack of clothes.
"Do you want my shirt," Eddie asks, taking his shirt off and handing it to you.
"Sure, thanks," you start to put it over your bikini but Eddie stops you midway.
"You shouldn't sleep in wet clothes, you'll get a cold. You should probably take this off," Eddie says tugging at your bikini string, untying the top for you and tossing it to the side of the air mattress.
You scoff in flustered disbelief, Eddie speaks up again, "put it on, sweetheart," referring to his tshirt. You did so, thinking that was the end of that. But Eddie wasn't done yet, he had to make you more flustered to make up for witnessing you and Steve flirt on and off throughout the night. It was driving him fucking crazy.
"This too," Eddie pulls the string to your bikini bottoms, tossing them on the mattress and fiddling around in his bag for a pair of his boxers. You're speechless as Eddie climbs over top of you and dresses you in his blue boxers. It felt so intimate, being undressed, and then dressed in his clothes. It was exhilarating as much as it was caring. Eddie had already changed out of his swim shorts and into sweats.
"Thank you," is the first thing you can think to say to Eddie, he's hovering over you, staring at how cute you look in his clothes. He thinks he could probably get off to just seeing you in his clothes alone. The thought of jerking off over you while he stared down at your body crossed his mind, the way your face would look so cute and shocked at the vulgar act. But he pushed the thought aside and put the idea in his spank bank for later.
"Don't mention it," Eddie says laying down next to you, "you're probably cold, aren't you?"
"Well yeah, the lake was freezing," you answer and then Eddie's pulling you to his chest to keep you both warm. You two were face to face and your jaw was agape at how forward and casual he was being simultaneously, Eddie laughs quietly and touches your chin. "What, cat got your tongue? What's wrong, honey? You can tell me," Eddie says in a mocking tone, his hand grabbing your ass shamelessly. He felt this was more subtle than jerking off over your body. "We're just two friends trying to keep each other warm, don't be weird," he's smirking at you and all you can think about is kissing that smart ass smirk off his face. It didn't help he was only wearing his sweats, he knew exactly what he was doing to you. It was time you one-upped his antics with your own.
You shiver, "I'm really scared, Eddie. Do you think it's safe to sleep in the woods like this, we're basically the textbook definition of victims in slasher movies right now. Can you hold me?"
The question stopped Eddie dead in his tracks, you asking him to hold you wasn't something he saw coming. "Oh, you're scared, huh" Eddie said in a mocking tone, jutting out his bottom lip in a pouted frown. "Poor baby, you're scared of the dark, aren't you? C'mere sweetheart, I'll protect you," Eddie said with a wolfish grin spread across his face. You didn't hesitate to jump into his arms, hugging his chest and burying it there for comfort.
"Thank you, Eddie," you say breathlessly and now he decides he's fucked. You were perfect. The more this happened, the more it didn't feel like a fun little cat and mouse game anymore. Eddie's feelings for you were real, the way he felt about you made that clear. But Eddie decided to stay in character, risking telling you his feelings just felt too...vulnerable? He didn't know, he'd never quite felt this way about anyone before. It was all new to him, the feeling of never wanting to let go and risk loosing everything. He wanted you to be his everything, but he forced himself to play it safe anyways.
"You are really cold, wouldn't want you to catch hypothermia," Eddie says, hands trailing up your shirt to grope your breasts and roaming down your hips leaving a trail of fire where he touched you. It felt like your whole body was on vibrate, "has anyone ever touched you there?" Eddie's said this while he snapped your underwear to your skin and you yelped in surprise.
"Ow, Eddie. I don't know what you mean," you said, the clueless act had Eddie's head in a spiral. He didn't know if you playing the same game he was to keep this going, to keep the excitement at a high.
"What are you saying, Princess? No one's ever been here, not even Steve," Eddie says teasing you, his finger tracing your slit over your underwear.
"No, Eddie. He hasn't," you kiss his jaw, "let's just go to sleep please."
"So he's never fucking touched you at all then, don't lie to me," Eddie's voice rises and he's clearly mad over something he's only imagined.
"We've hugged, that's it," you admit, that was a half lie. You and Steve had kissed but it was experimental and you both laughed about it afterwards, meaningless flirting suited your friendship you both decided. Steve did teach you how to kiss though, he insisted upon it, he kept saying how he knew all of these tricks and taught them all to you. It was hot, but still you only saw the flirting as just the way your friendship was, it was never serious, only fun. Eddie didn't see the flirting between you and Steve as fun and carefree though, he was jealous, jealous he couldn't have you for one. And jealous he couldn't have Steve either, but soon, he decided his hormones were driving him mad and there wasn't much else to do about it besides watch you like a hawk and to always be around so nothing happened between you two.
"Liar," Eddie says gritting his teeth, his hand sliding into your underwear to play with your clit while he seethed.
"Eddie what are you doing," you say, your pussy throbbing at the mere thought of Eddie being jealous, and the feeling of him inside your underwear made you hot. Suddenly, the freezing lake's cold wrath was gone, all you could feel was fire.
"You like it though, you like making me angry. That's why I have to punish you, baby, I'm sorry," Eddie said sinking two fingers in your hole, curling just right and just deep enough to make you squirm in his grasp. Eddie's other arm held you close to him, imprisoning your body to his.
"I'm sorry," you said and kissed Eddie softly, your moth open and welcoming his tongue. Eddie moaned into your mouth and wondered how experienced your really were, you knew how to kiss, that was certain. But the way you did it so eagerly, your tongue pushing his, and the way you sucked on his bottom lip made him groan.
"You're about to be fucking sorry, don't give me that pouty lip," Eddie fucked your pussy with his fingers relentlessly, wishing it was his dick instead. "On second thought, you shouldn't even get to wear my clothes. Take them off, now."
"Eddie please, why are you being so mean. This isn't fair I'm not lying," you say, but you were and he could fucking feel it in the way you stammered.
"Did you hear me, strip. Take off my fucking clothes before I make you," Eddie said, anger in his voice. You were so turned on your pussy squeezed his fingers and he gasped, "fuck, did you just squeeze me?God, that's so fucking hot. Now be a good girl and take these off," Eddie bit his lip, completely blissed out at the way you moaned his name and how wet you were for him. It was just like heaven.
"No!" You said, "you can't make me sleep naked!"
Eddie furrowed his brows, it was clear you were a brat and needed to be bossed around to get off. "Fine, I'll do it then," Eddie rolled you onto your back and tore your clothes off, he had never been this hot and bothered before and it was overwhelming but freeing. "You're sleeping naked with me as your punishment, when you decide to be a good girl for me I'll let you wear my whole fuckin' closet." Eddie hovered above you, pinning both of your wrists with his ringed hands, staring down at your naked body. Then the idea from earlier popped into his head again, he was going to jerk off over your body he couldn't resist the idea.
"Stay like that," Eddie said pulling his sweats down so his cock sprang free. Something in you couldn't help but wish he would fuck you right then, but Eddie started jerking off instead, staring at you. His cock hitting your stomach as he pumped it in his hand. "I'm going to come on your pussy, fuck baby you look so beautiful," Eddie spread your folds open with his fingers. Rutting against your clit with the head of his cock, "touch yourself for me." You did, you moaned Eddie's name and he lost control, your pussy covered in his come.
"Fuck," Eddie exclaimed, laying down beside you, scooping you up in his arms so your ass was to his front. Eddie sank two of his fingers in your hole, playing with the come on the outside and occasionally pushing the come inside you.
The two of you curled up into a blanket the rest of the night, Eddie fell asleep with his fingers inside you. You fell asleep speechless and wanting more.
Now it was movie night at your place again, it was dark and all the lights were out as you all watched The Shining for the fifth time. Robin and Nancy went to bed early, like usual whenever Nancy had work early the next morning. Steve was passed out on the loveseat, arms crossed over his chest, sleeping like someone's father that said "I'm just resting my eyes," then fell into a deep slumber, minus the snores.
Eddie had made a point to sit close to you, draping his arm around the couch adjacent to the loveseat. When Robin and Nancy went off to bed, Eddie seemed to inch closer and closer until he was thigh to thigh with you.
"Are you cold," Eddie asked you, his arm moving to hold your waist, pulling you closer for warmth.
"Yeah, it's always really chilly in this room," you drape your leg over Eddie's thigh as casually as you can manage.
Eddie's eyes drop to your thigh, taking in the sight of your tiny pj shorts that left little to the imagination. "I can warm you up," Eddie said eagerly. You bit your lip and nodded at him.
Movie nights were like sleepovers occasionally, Eddie was dressed in only a pair of boxers like usual. It was normal, Steve wore his old basketball shorts shirtless too, it's not like Eddie was being inappropriate. He was comfortable in your home, that's the way it was supposed to be. You only wondered if having these thoughts about your best friend was also the way it was supposed to be. All you could think about was the way he was in the van, you wanted to see that side of Eddie again.
Eddie reached behind him to grab a fuzzy throw blanket and placed it over you two, his hand going back to squeeze your waist, and then your thigh, rubbing you there. His eyes were trained on the movie, trying to look distracted while his hand kept inching toward your heat. Suddenly Eddie's hand rested on your clothed pussy, his fingers curling so that you could feel his middle finger poking at your hole slightly, still unmoving to do anything else, the two of you stayed that way for a few minutes in silence, neither of you saying anything like it wasn't happening. You felt your chest rise shallowly and your hand reached inside Eddie's boxers where your hand rested on his hard cock.
Eddie took this as a chance to slip his hand inside your shorts, his middle and index fingers curled inside your pussy. Your hand moved under the covers, stroking him while you two kept your eyes fixated on the movie. But all you could think about was how Eddie's fingers were slowly fucking your underneath the blanket.
"You're so warm. Do you wanna cuddle, I need more heat," Eddie said, what he really meant was he needed more of your heat, specifically the heat between your thighs.
"Mhm," you lay down, Eddie spoons you from behind, covering you two up with the blanket and making sure Steve was still asleep.
Eddie nuzzles into your neck and kisses you, his hands reach up to cup your tits. Eddie keep one hand up your shirt, his other hand pulling your shorts off, all the sudden you feel Eddie's cock slot between your thighs. You gasp and Eddie covers your mouth and shushes you, "shh, this is the best part, sweetheart," Eddie refers to the movie while his fingers work your clit expertly. Eddie kisses your cheek and then your mouth, "need you to keep every part of me warm, hm?" Eddie whispers this into your ear, then slams his cock into your wet hole, wanting nothing more than to hear you moan with his hand over your mouth. Slow, hot, and wet strokes of Eddie's cock fills you while he keeps his hand over your mouth to keep you from waking up Steve.
"I've wanted this for so long, baby. You have no idea how long I've waited to feel this pussy, I knew you'd be ready for me. I can't seem to keep my eyes off you ever since you sat on my lap two months ago when we were playing cards. I know you didn't mean to, but you kept wiggling around. I know you felt my dick digging into your ass, that's when the secret touches started. You didn't tell anyone about that, did you?"
You shake your head no, you didn't tell Steve about the touches and when it actually started. You knew he wanted you, it was all about the back and forth game you two were playing, the secrecy. He'd touch you accidentally, and you'd do the same back, feigning innocence to keep the ongoing game more exciting. You had him on edge, waiting for the right moment to act on the desires that clouded both of your minds.
Eddie's hand still clasped over your mouth he spoke about that first night, "at first, I thought it was an accident. But once you felt my cock get hard you kept wiggling and then you, fuck- you really started humping my thigh. You rode my fucking thigh when everyone was too drunk to notice, I jerked off in your bedroom that night. Hand down my pants, I came in my own pants. I stained my underwear and left early, holding my jacket over my front. You knew exactly what you were doing, don't act so surprised that you love my cock inside you. You've been waiting for it for so long," Eddie whispered in your ear, giving you full body chills.
Eddie spoke again, "when I let go of your mouth, don't make any noise. Just do what I say, and I might go easy on you." You do what he says and turn to face him, he turns you around to face him and hikes your leg over his hip and you sink down onto him, letting Eddie fuck you as fast and hard as he wants. You can't help yourself, you smother Eddie in kisses all over his chest, neck, and end at his lips, you suck on his tongue and you can hear a deep moan come from him. The two of you go wide-eyed and glance to see Steve stirring under his covers, you and Eddie pretend you're sleeping, Eddie covering both of you up to your necks. You two close your eyes and pretend to have fallen asleep, cuddling innocently, as Steve wakes up and makes his way to the guest bedroom.
You start to move but Eddie grabs your ass with vigor and slams you back down on him, "I didn't say to move, baby. Be a good girl and don't torture me any longer, please." It's demanding, but mainly pleading of him. Eddie's desperate to keep this going for as long as possible.
"I'm not going anywhere, Eddie," you kiss his cheek and Eddie smiles at you, wide and Cheshire-like, like he's up to something.
"So you're saying you're my little cockwarmer now, guess that's better than cock-tease," he chuckles and you swat his arm. "Hey, I like you whether you're a cockwarmer or cock-tease, as long as you're near my cock we don't have a problem," Eddie laughs at his own ridiculous statement, being that he was still completely serious in all he was saying though.
"I'm going to miss our little game though, that was so exciting," you say grinding yourself on Eddie.
"I bet you do, you just love to torture me don't you, babydoll. We can play games all you want, that's fine. But the more you tease me the rougher I'm going to be, you know that though, brat," Eddie chokes you, bringing your lips to his for a passionate steamy kiss.
"Don't threaten me with a good time, babe."
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