#the green family has me by a chokehold

[joshlmbrt]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ YOU DON’T HAVE THE TIME, YOU LEAVE THEM ALL BEHIND | truck driver!e. munson x mom!reader

w; mom and dad argument, chance is non-verbal, eddie not realizing what you’re truly saying, hurt AND comfort.

request; ‘thinking about “come home, the kids miss you” with truck driver!eddie … he’s leaving for days, when you argued the night before, regretting the words left unsaid … eddie cradling the payphone to his ear like it’s your face … any way he can hear your voice, if only for a moment, his heart breaking as you cry through the phone … they way your au has me in a chokehold, i s2g 🥹🥺💖💞’ - @reysorigins

an; the fact that rey went on my masterlist, read my fave au, and requested has me crYINGHHHHHhH, because i absolutely love this au with my whole heart and rey.

It’s different this time when Eddie leaves home - he’s off work, but leaving home. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right with how he left things, slamming the door on his way out and driving off without a thought. 

The motel bed is lumpy, and it smells weird in the room. He’s sure he saw a bug crawl across the wall. And if he were to be killed, no one would know and he couldn’t call for help - the line to the phones being down. 

He’s pressing the heel of his hands into his eyes, his wet lashes flattening. 

“You knew what you were getting into when I told you about this job!” 

“But it takes all your time, Eddie! I barely see you. Chance barely sees you. He misses you when he’s gone!” 

“Oh, don’t use him against me!” 

“I’m not using anything against you, Eddie. I’m telling you how I feel because you asked! You did!” 

He did ask - that’s where he went wrong. Although it was a rhetorical question - ‘what do you want me to do?’ - he didn’t like the answer you gave him. 

He flips in the bed, eyes staring at the door as he tries blinking away the burn that would lead to inevitable tears. 

“There you go. Running away like you always do!” 

“I’m not running!” 

“You are! You’re running away because you don’t want to listen to me! I should’ve known better than to think you’d understand because you always want everything to go your way or you’ll throw a fit!” 

He’s shoving clothes into a bag, walking out of the room and towards the door. He can hear sniffles, but he’s angry and he doesn’t want to feel suffocated in a house filled with tension. 

He slams the door. 

He was acting like his father. 

Running away when things got too tough and he couldn’t handle it - didn’t want to deal with it. He remembered when there were nights when he heard his mom crying in her bedroom then the shake of the trailer when his dad would leave. 

He would always go into the kitchen and grab two cookies from the jar, walking into her room. He would climb into the mountain of covers, cuddling up to her side and hand her the cookie. She would always thank him. 

‘I’ll save it for later.’ She would always say, pressing a kiss to his temple. He would find them tossed into the trash. 

He hates to think Chance is doing the same. Consoling you when he’s the one who should be. Eddie grew up too fast - emotionally - to protect himself from the words of his family and other people. 

He lifts from the bed, rubbing a hand down his face. He had left his bag inside his truck because he didn’t know if he was going to sleep in the truck or a motel - or leave and go home. 

His eyes linger on the black phone near the bed, huffing out a sigh, pushing himself up from the bed and walking towards the door. He knows it was useless when he was handing the woman behind the window a fifty for a single night. 

There’s a pay phone on the other side of the hotel. He bites at the skin inside his cheek, pulling out a loose quarter that was in his pocket. 

He walks along the gravel, eyes staying on his shadow that follows him along towards the pay phone on the gravel that was lit up by a green color from the word MOTEL. 

He slips the quarter in, picking up the phone from the receiver. His finger hovers over the metal keypad, breath shuddering as he finally types in a number he knows by heart. 

It rings three times. “Hello?” You sound tired, congested with snot. His eyes squeeze shut and his forehead rests on the side of the payphone. He probably shouldn’t, he doesn’t know who has used it or touched it. 

“It’s me,” He breathes out. It’s silent. He digs into his pocket, searching for another quarter, lips pulling into a frown when he doesn’t find one in either pocket. “I just… I wanted to call and tell you I'm sorry,” His fingers grip the phone between his rough palms. 

“And what I said, I didn’t mean. You… you were just trying to tell me how you felt - I should’ve listened to you instead of immediately jumping on you.” 

You sigh over the phone. There’s a scratching on the other side. “I'm sorry too.” 

His brows pinch together. “Honey… No, you don’t-”

You’re cutting him off. “No. I am. I should’ve… I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat either,” You sigh again. “We should’ve sat down and talked about it like adults.” 

There’s a beeping and he presses his fingers between his eyes. “Listen, sweetheart. I don’t have much longer this quarter. But… I’ll, uh…” 

“You’ll come home?” There’s a quiver in your voice and his eyes open and head tilts when he hears it. He feels his own throat get heavy with emotion - he gulps it down like pins and needles. His thumb moves back and forth on the back of the telephone. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I’ll come home. We don’t have to talk about it tonight. We can tomorrow.” 

“That sounds good.” 

The drive home was quick. He had left his bag in his truck, again, jogging up the steps. He unlocks the door and opens it, stepping inside. On the couch, he notices Chance. A blanket over his small body, small snores escaping his nose. 

He walks over, carefully lifting his sleeping body. His cheek smooshes against Eddie’s shoulder, arms dropped by his side. Eddie rubs a hand up and down his back. 

He passes by you in the kitchen, a hand to your bicep, squeezing softly, before nudging Chance’s door open with the toe of his boot. He lies him down, placing the bunny closer to him and lifting the blanket over his shoulders. He leans down, pressing a kiss to his forehead before flipping on his dinosaur night light that circles around the room in reds, blues, greens, and oranges. 

He turns and walks out of the room, shutting the door quietly before walking to the kitchen. He watches you for a moment before walking behind you, hands rubbing up and down before slipping up to your shoulders. 

His thumbs dig into your tense shoulders, his lips pressing against the back of your head. He inhales deeply, catching a whiff of your shampoo and a spritz of your perfume. 

His thumb small lines against the base of your spine. “I’m sorry.” He whispers. 

You turn in his arms, lifting your hands and pushing his curls away from his face as you nod. “I’m sorry too.” 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“I just…” You pause, lips flattening as you look at his chest. His hands slide up your neck before resting on your jaw, rubbing at your cheeks softly. “I’m scared something will happen and you won’t come back.” 

“Sweetheart,” He pouts softly before pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips before resting his forehead against yours. He wipes away the fresh set of tears that fall down your flushed cheeks. “Nothing won’t happen to me-”

“You never know.” 

“Nothing won’t happen to me,” He repeats, fingers tightening their grip into a firm hold before they soften again. “I’m always safe. I always check everything. I’m safe. But I can always talk to Ron about shortening my days - I’ve been thinking about doing that anyway.” 

“Baby, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do that. And-” His lips are on yours to stop your rambling, Your brows lift slightly, hands circling around his wrists. His thumbs wipe under your eyes again when he pulls away slowly, giving you one last peck. 

“You’re not making me do anything that I don’t wanna do,” He whispers, nudging his nose against yours. “Like I said, I’ve already thought about having a talk about it. I miss you and Chance when I’m gone. I hate being gone so long.” 

Your lip trembles, he places the pad of his thumb against your chin - you still think he’s lying. “I’m not lying.” 

You nod a bit, looking down at the ground. He smiles a bit, pushing some hair behind your ear with one hand.

“You tired?” He whispers softly. You nod again. “Come on, sleepyhead. I’ll make you some breakfast in the morning and we can go to the park tomorrow.” 

You peek up at him, a small glimmer in your eye. “Really?” He huffs out a small laugh. 

“Really.” 

— @stveharringtn 2024

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ thanks for reading! comments, reblogs, likes, feedback is highly encouraged, welcomed, & deeply appreciated.

#cherry writes ✿ #dad!eddie munson x mom!reader #dad!eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson angst #joseph quinn x reader

[killmongerskeeper]

Crashing Waves // Chapter 1 // Namor

Pairing: Namor X POC Reader

Warning: SPOILERS If you haven't seen Black Panther 2 / Violence

A/N: Time to roll out the Namor fics! Because that man had me in a chokehold!

Chapter 2

You were fuming. Stuck on this stupid military site in the middle of the fucking ocean with two people pole who have no idea what they're getting themselves into. Taking a student's science fair project is one thing, but actually stumbling across vibranium in the middle of the ocean. Yeah that's not good. You have to keep it out of the wrong hands. You promised Shuri. Even if you had to use your powers to do so. 

T'Challa calls it being gifted. You call it being cursed. Being able to manipulate things telepathically. Force fields, mind control and shit. Nothing too extreme like Wanda Maximoff. More of a simplified version. Only difference is you can see through other people's eyes. 

Shuri always wanted to see you do it in person. Wakanda has done so much for you. Saved your life when Killmonger took over, treated your stab wound from battle, and offered their home to you. I made new friends and found a family. You owe them your life. Queen Ramonda, Shuri, T'Challa. The least you could do was help protect what was theirs

"We should leave it alone! You and everyone else heard what the queen of Wakanda said. We can't just go around stealing their resources!" You shouted as the general stood with his arms crossed. 

"Vibranium could be what this nation needs to prevent war. And it's right here at the bottom of the ocean." The other agent spoke and you snapped your head in her direction.

"Taking the vibranium will start a war! Are you guys that dense?" You shouted and then she stood holding her hands out to calm you down.

"Professor. Y/N. Please we are too close to pull back now. The vibranium is right there." She tried to reason with you but you knew the consequences behind this. Especially after hearing the queen's threat. You knew better than to take it lightly. 

"And what if the Wakandans show up. If they decide to take more of a lethal approach? That is a war you won't win." You told her as the general walked closer to the two of you.

"Professor, we brought you out here to help us find and secure the vibranium given your abilities. What we didnt bring you here for was to give us a pep talk. Now if you won't help us, you can go back to that classroom at that university."

It's true they came to you because of your experience with Wakanda and the folklore you grew up on. With you knowing the history of Wakanda and vibranium, you were a perfect pick. You didn't however expect them to actually find it. 

"My pep talk just might save your ass, general. I'm not talking for my health. You wanted me here because I've been there, I know them. Now I'm trying to help you BECAUSE I've been there. This will not end well for you." You sneered in defiance and he scoffed. 

"Fine. We won't need you up here. Take her to her room, and keep her there." You raised an eyebrow as a soldier grabbed your arm, dragging you out the room. 

"Ross will hear about this!" 

After a couple minutes descending the stairs you were now locked in your room with the soldier standing guard at the door. 

"Fucking asshole!" You shouted as you slid your back down the wall to sit on the floor while you held up your hand. The green hue danced around your brown fingers as you stared into the small void it created. You smiled at the memory you had stored away from when you revealed this to Shuri and T'Challa for the first time. How they asked you to stay in Wakanda with them. As much as you wanted to stay, you had to decline because you couldn't leave your younger brother behind. But now your brother is in college and T'Challa is gone. You should've been there. With them. To console them as they did you when your mother died.

"They're making a mistake! War with Wakanda isn't a good thing!" You shouted at the guard and he waved you off. They could be coming for me, you know? I could've contacted them about the vibranium you guys found down there!" You lied through your teeth and grinned when that caught his attention. He turned to you with a horrified stare and you shrugged. 

"They are my friends, you know." You started as you stood on your feet walking towards the door. He went to speak before a couple of gunshots rang out and we both froze. 

"Did you really contact the Wakandans?" He asked with fear laced in his voice. 

"Um no. I was bullshitting you actually. Are we under attack?" You questioned and he readied his weapon before taking a deep breath. 

"Stay here." He said and you shrugged. 

"Not like I have a choice. Wait, don't leave me down here!" You screamed after him as he went to investigate what was going on. You quickly locked the door and shot out a small green sphere into his back as he disappeared up the stairs where you couldn't see him anymore. Closing your eyes your vision was replaced with the soldier's as he slowly approached the top. The general was now a dead man as he hung from the wall by a spear. He looked up into the sky in time to see the chopper get thrown into the ocean.

The soldier's breathing became irregular as he began to panic so you decided to speak to him. "Relax, just hurry up and radio for help." He jumped a bit, startled by the voice in his head and he sighed. 

"I forgot you could do that." He mumbled as he went for the general's radio. "Mayday. We're under attack at the vibranium site. Send a strike team now."

"Copy that. Do you recognize the assailants?" Another voice asked and he looked around. "Wakandans."

"No. These aren't Wakandans." You said and the soldier frowned. 

"Then who-" Without warning your vision came back to you causing you to fall over. The soldier is dead. You sat up to catch your breath as you stared at the door.

"Who the fuck-" you started before the sound of the steps reached your ears. You quickly stood with your arm stretched out aiming at the door ready for whoever it may be. The knob turned once before complete silence engulfed the room. You held my stance as some curls fell in your face. Whatever it is, you're ready for it.

#black panther imagines #black panther reader insert #black panther #black panther 2 #wakanda forever #namor x reader #namor x you #namor #namor imagine #crashing waves fic

[shadowlali]

pink roses - part 2

COD AU - phillip graves x fem!reader

summary: commander graves comes back for his favorite assistant [18+ only] wc: 2.4 k Part 1 | masterlist

warnings: NSFW, MWII spoilers, not-canon, no use of Y/N, not details on reader's physical description, reader has hair and can be picked up by Graves, age gap (f!reader in her 20s and graves is in his 40s), mentions of death, explicit, grinding, light biting, light overstimulation, oral (f! receiving), unprotected sex, insta-love type romance, use of pet-names, some proofreading

“Hey, doll.” Phillip says, a bouquet of pink roses placed on the table he sits at. He has an almost nervous smile on his face. His hair is a little longer than you remember and sticking up in a few spots, as if he’s been running his hands through it. 

You throw the cup of water at his head, only missing by a few inches. He quickly dodges it and lets the cup hit the wall with a soft thud. 

“You’re supposed to be dead!”

You grip the counter to stop yourself from crumbling to the floor. Your mind races from seeing him. Ghosts aren't real. Right? No, he isn’t a ghost and he's very much alive in your kitchen with a bouquet of roses. As if that makes everything okay.

This gesture might have made your heart flip before, but all you feel now is anger. All this time wasted on mourning his loss and betrayal. While he was away on his mission, you’d let your imagination run. What would it be like when he came back? Would you two spend time together? Go on dates and trips?

Once the truth of the mission came out you felt incredibly guilty. Maybe if you would have known what was happening behind those closed doors you could have stopped it all. Encouraged Phillip to re-think his plan and his alliance to General Shepherd.

But men like Phillip aren’t easily persuaded. And you two barely know each other. He didn’t become the CEO of a PMC without powerful alliances. 

Phillip looks different. His arms are more defined and the expression lines on his face are a little more pronounced. Like if at one point he had the stress of the world on his shoulders. However, he looks more confident than ever.

There is an obvious nervousness emanating from him, probably because he isn’t sure about your reaction. But his long legs are stretched out in front of him and his whole body seems loose, carefree. He slowly stands from the chair, wiping off the water from his forehead. 

“You have good aim–” 

“Get out. Get out right now, Phillip,” you interrupt him.

“I can explain,” Phillip says, his hands raising slowly to show that he isn’t a threat. 

When he realizes you aren’t going to interrupt, Phillip continues. “We tried helping some of our friends, but it didn’t quite work out that way.” 

He sighs, a heavy look in his eyes. “All of my Shadows out there were killed. Gone. On a mission that I green lighted and that I promised would be quick. I failed them.” 

You slowly wrap your arms around your middle as he paces around the kitchen.

“General Shepherd and I thought we could hide our failures before anyone else found out. I believed him, at first. We were only supposed to aid the 141 and Los Vaqueros. I wasn’t supposed to try and take any of them down.” He breathes in deep, ”General Shepherd was nervous that they’d find out, and asked me to take care of them. I tried to find another way but he had me in a chokehold.” 

“How?” you ask, curious as to what General Shepherd had over Phillip. 

“He… General Shepherd was one of my first investors. I got him early on to believe in the Shadow Company. Other investors came in because he told them what I had planned. But it wasn’t just that. He knew all of my Shadows. They’re… they’re like my family. They are my family. And he had no problem taking them all out if I didn’t do what he said. A man like him, backed by the government, has all the power to follow through on his threats.” 

“I just– I don’t know what you want me to say, Phillip. I don’t even know if I can believe you. Especially if you’re still working with him –” 

“No,” his voice firm,” I’m not working with him anymore.” 

You push off the counter, the energy coming back to your body. “Then do something. Tell someone – the new General – what Shepherd did. Tell them where he is so they can bring him down!” 

“General Shepherd can’t be taken down by the government.” 

“What does that mean, Phillip?” When he stays quiet, you continue. “What are you even doing here? Why did you come back to tell me all of this?”

“I need you to know I’m not the person they say I am. I’m – I’m sorry. I can't take back what I did, but I'm sorry. ”

“Phillip, you’re a wanted man. Do you know how dangerous it is for me that you’re here? I work for the government! Every single move or action is tracked. How did you even get in here without anyone noticing?” you yell, voice rising.

“They can’t link you to me, sweetheart. I promise. I know I’m selfish for wanting you back but you need to understand. I need you to come with me.”

He quickly wraps his arms around you, pressing your back to his front as you try to slip past him. 

You struggle in his hold, ”What do you mean I have to go with you?” 

His arms loosen slightly as he turns you around. “Shepherd knew I saw you the night before I left. I’ve tried my best to track him after everything went down. Shepherd is here in the city and I need you to leave with me now before he gets to you.” 

You stop struggling at his words. “Wh–what?” 

“I care for you, doll. I know it was only one night but I got to know you even before then. Shepherd wasn’t able to bring down Shadow Company or any of my other Shadows. He’s coming for you now.” Phillip’s eyes are pleading. He pushes the hair away from your face while you contemplate his words. 

“Phillip, I can’t just leave. I have a life here. Even if I wanted to, it's not that easy to just leave my job. Why can’t I just tell one of my superiors that Shepherd is here so they can look for him? Maybe even protect me if what you say is true.”

“They can’t protect you like I can. They won’t get their hands dirty like I will.” 

In that moment you realize he's right. If the government let Shepherd and Phillip get away with all of this because of Shepherd’s power, they won’t care if you get caught in the crossfire. You aren’t an official, at most you’d be provided with an officer stationed around the block for a few nights. The pleading look in Phillip’s eyes and the way his hands squeeze your waist as if he's afraid you’ll try to run again motivates you to believe his words.

After a few long moments, you finally ask, “Where would we go? For how long?”

“I have a safe house close to base. Only I know where it's at, and I’ll be there with you. I'll have Shepherd neutralized in no time.”

“And after?” 

“And after… you can do whatever you please, sweetheart. I won’t lie to you, I’d like you to stay close to me for as long as possible. But, I won’t force you to stay if you don’t want to–” 

You interrupt him by placing a kiss on his mouth. He breathes in quickly as if surprised, but rights himself and pulls you in by the small of your back. The kiss is supposed to be gentle, your way of letting him know that you trust him.

Yet, it's impossible for either of you to break away. Your hands tangle in his hair and pull slightly, eliciting a moan from his throat. Before your hands can slide down to remove his shirt, he stops you. 

“Wait – doll, are you sure you want this?”

“Yes, Phillip. This is what I want.” 

“I’ll give you anything, but I need to know for su–.”

“I said yes!” 

He kisses you again. Phillip bites your bottom lip before moving down to suck the skin on your neck. You manage to get his shirt off and remove his belt buckle.

He makes quick work of your dress, pushing the thin straps down and the rest of the dress off. You stand there only in your matching lingerie set, not the one he bought you, but a similar one in pale blue. 

“So beautiful, better than I remember," he whispers, tracing his fingers down your ribcage. 

He doesn’t let you take any more clothes off before picking you up and walking towards the bedroom. After dropping down on the bed together, his tongue traces a path from your neck to your breasts.

Without taking off your bra, he bites down through the material. Your skin is incredibly sensitive from the fabric rubbing against it to the indents left from his teeth. He snakes his hand behind you, unhooking the bra, and finally places his mouth on your naked skin.

You suck in a shaky breath. Phillip’s fingers pinch your nipples into hard peaks, bordering on delicious pain. Your lower body pushes up against his hips, and he places his thigh between your legs. He moans once he feels you begin to grind, your wetness only making the movement easier.

His hair is soft in your hands and you pull it after a particularly rough bite. Your brain is foggy, the only sounds in the room are your whimpers and his moans. Without realizing, your lower body moves faster, trapping his firm thigh between yours. One more bite from him and you feel the rush of pleasure hit you. 

“Oh God, Phillip!” you whine. 

His head moves to your other breast and continues leaving indents on your skin. Your hips stop moving and you push on his shoulders to get him to stop. His knee begins to press against your wetness, pushing your panties on your overstimulated clit. 

“Phillip – baby, I can’t. Please stop, it's too much!” you stammer out. 

His mouth trails down in hard kisses on your ribcage. He gives a small reprieve while removing your panties but immediately spread your thighs. 

“Please fuck me, Phillip.”

“You can wait, doll. I need to taste you.”

He moans at the taste of your wetness, ”so sweet.” 

You whimper from the long strokes of his tongue, swiping from your entrance to your swollen clit. One hand grips your thigh while the other holds down your lower belly to prevent you from moving away.

Phillip is relentless and starved for your taste. His moans vibrate against you as you tug his hair. 

“Please, baby. No more, it's too much,” your voice pleads. 

A few long moments later he finally stops. Cool air hits between your legs and you shudder. Phillip rubs himself from your entrance to your clit and back again. 

“God, sweetheart. I love hearing your whimpers.” 

You can only dig your nails into his lower back as a response. With that, Phillip places your ankle on his shoulder and pushes in. Simultaneous moans are heard throughout the room.

He does a few slow strokes to get you used to the feel until he thrusts all the way in. You're completely full and stretched. His hand strokes down from your ankle to massage your inner thigh. 

“I’ll go slow, sweetheart,” he breathes. 

Phillip bends your thigh to your chest, getting much deeper inside of you. His arm rests on the side of your head while he takes your mouth once more. He groans as your nails scratch up and down his back. The slow thrust of his tongue matches the pace of his hips. You give an accidental bite to his tongue when he hits the spongy spot inside of you. He laughs.

“Phillip, you feel so good. I missed this so much.”

“I missed this too, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I dreamed of being back in your arms.” 

You pepper kisses along his lips and chin, his hips moving faster. Your hips once again begin to push up and grind against his. The trimmed hair at the base of his cock is rough and exquisite on your clit.

Phillip’s hands and mouth travel all over your upper body. He kisses and laps at your neck and breasts. His fingers run up and down the sides of your ribcage to your inner thighs. You give a particularly rough grind that he reaches to slap the back of your thigh from the pressure.

“I need to go fast now, doll. You ready?”

“I can take it, Phillip.” 

His thrusts speed up so quick that the headboard hits the wall repeatedly. His arms flex while they grab your hips to match his speed. You can feel every delicious inch of him inside of you. His thrusts once again hit that same spot and your vision goes dark from the pleasure. Your screams only encourage him further until he releases inside of you. He doesn’t stop. 

“I want it all inside of you,” he groans, his thrusts hurried.

At last he drops down on top of you, both of your bodies sweaty and hot. You stroke your fingers over his back, loving how comfortable and intimate the moment is. He eventually rolls off and grabs a washcloth from your bathroom. He's incredibly gentle as he runs the damp cloth over your skin. 

“We can’t sleep here tonight, doll. We gotta leave soon.” 

“I know.” 

You slowly stand up on shaky legs and change into comfortable clothing. You pack the most important items and clothes before sending in a request for time off of work. You aren’t sure if they'll accept it, but you have no time to dwell.

You send a quick text to those who might wonder where you went, letting them know you’ll reach out soon with a new number. Your laptop and phone are left on the kitchen table, but you pick up the bouquet of pink roses.

You and Phillip walk down to the parking garage, hand in hand. After he seats you in the passenger seat of a black sedan, he drives for a bit until arriving to a private airstrip. A few men stand guard as you both board the plane.

You wake many hours later when it touches down. Another black car is waiting as you exit the plane. A short drive later, he pulls into the driveway of a ranch-style home. The sun has risen on the horizon and you notice there aren’t many houses close by. 

“I like my privacy,” he teases. 

He grabs your hand and walks you into the house, knowing that you’ll be safe with him. 

#phillip graves x reader #phillip graves x female reader #phillip graves smut #cod x reader #cod mw2 #phillip graves #cod mw2 smut #graves x reader #graves x you #shadowlali

[whenikissedthegiyuu]

three - screaming crying throwing up

sakusa kiyoomi x reader

masterlist

I lifted my eyes from my phone to glance in Sakusa’s direction, only to find him already staring at me. His eyes widened the slightest bit and his back straightened, but he never looked away from me.

Suna cleared his throat, whether it was on purpose to attract the others’ attention or not I didn’t know, but it still made me internally wince.

“Oi,” Suna wrapped an arm around my neck, nearly pulling me into a chokehold as he pulled me to his chest. “Remember when everyone thought you and ‘tsumu were dating?”

Sakusa’s eyes snapped to the brunet as soon as he spoke, his face remaining neutral as he listened to our conversation.

“Just because I wore his spare jersey to one game because I spilled my juice on my shirt.” I rolled my eyes and smiled fondly at the memory. Atsumu laughed from across the room.

“I did think you were dating when I saw you together at my first nationals.” Hinata chuckled from where he sat on the floor beside Atsumu’s legs. “I know you grew up with the twins, but your dynamic with Atsumu was different from Osamu.”

It was. It really was.

Osamu had always been like an older brother, we fought sometimes over the smallest disagreements and were both stubborn as hell, but the moment I needed him he was there to grab my hand and comfort me, and I was the same way with him.

Atsumu on the other hand… I couldn’t even remember when I started seeing him with different eyes. One day his playful winks started making my stomach flutter and my breath stutter. I found myself gravitating more toward him, our fingers were always laced together when we walked side by side. Our mothers teased us and insisted they were waiting for the day we finally admitted to them that we were together. We would only look away pretending like we weren’t both sporting flushed cheeks.

But as suddenly as it started, it came crashing down. We started our third year and Atsumu’s eyes started drifting toward the pretty new girl with unique red hair and beautiful green eyes. They were in a different class than Osamu and I, so they eventually started talking and became good friends. They didn’t actually make it official until after we graduated, but with their flirting and how attached to the hip they were, making it official was just a formality at that point. Anyone could see it in their eyes that they were head over heels in love.

Osamu and Aran held me tightly so many nights as I cried uncontrollably. I wanted to blame her, to be mad at her for stealing him away, but it wasn’t her fault– none of it. It wasn’t Atsumu’s fault either, one can’t really choose how or who to fall in love with. He didn’t even know how I truly felt about him at the time.

And then I did what I always do best, ran away to Tokyo for university instead of staying back home with my friends, never looking back. Many times I cried on phone calls with Osamu and Suna about feeling homesick and wanting to be surrounded by my friends and family once again, but going home and seeing them would hurt even more.

Obviously it has now been years and we are all mature adults. Atsumu is once again simply my best friend whose playful winks are received by a roll of my eyes and his smirks are met by a slap on the back of his head. Kairi became a good friend throughout the years and if Atsumu was going to spend the rest of his life with anyone, I was glad it would be her.

I leaned my head against Suna’s shoulder after adjusting my position against him. I laughed at Hinata’s comment, “Nah ‘tsumu and I have always been too similar, we woulda bitten each other’s heads off at some point. Truly can’t understand how ‘samu stands us.”

I closed my eyes, feeling Suna’s chest vibrating against my arm as he chuckled. I tapped his shoulder, murmuring that I was gonna get a refill. He raised his arm just enough to let me slip out. I tried to ignore the pair of dark eyes that followed my every move as I slowly walked toward the kitchen.

It was open spaced so the guys could see me from where they were still sitting and laughing together, but it was enough to grant me at least an illusion of privacy since they were too engulfed in whatever story Bokutou was telling about college shenanigans he got himself into with Kuroo, many of which I was actually witness to.

I turned my back on the group and placed my hands on the counter as I felt my pulse start to race. Not here, not in front of them. I took deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling softly to calm myself down until my heartbeat evened out and the corners of my eyes stopped prickling with the threat of tears.

Footsteps reached my ears, as if they were intentionally heavy to alert me. I turned my head just enough to catch Sakusa’s huge form stopping just a few feet away from me. His eyes scanned my face, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded once, already feeling the tears beginning to form again at that simple question. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and turned my face away from his curious eyes.

He took another step forward and leaned his back against the counter I had my hands placed on. I could feel his eyes on me, but I just stared at the counter.

“I’m going to let you think that I believe you,” He murmured. I appreciated the low tone, not wanting the guys to listen to our conversation. “But you shouldn’t bottle everything up.”

“There ain’t nothing to bottle up.” I replied sharply, regretting my tone as soon as I caught his slight flinch. I let out a deep sigh, “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He shook his head, dismissing my apology. “Does that,” He gestured toward my face. “Have anything to do with what you were all talking about before you left?”

I grabbed the edge of the counter, controlling the urge to move just a tiny bit closer to the raven haired man as his cologne reached my nostrils. I shrugged, not really giving him any response.

“I didn’t really know you back then, but I had seen you around enough to know that you were too good for Miya anyways.”

I looked up at him then. He was already staring down at me, his mask tucked under his chin allowing me to see his lips curled down into a frown. His cheeks were sporting a pink tint, probably due to the couple of drinks he had earlier.

“Gonna get some fresh air.” I gestured toward the balcony outside. “You’re welcome to join if ya wanna take a break from the guys, but I get it if ya wanna go back to Komori. Feels like ’m keeping ya from him.”

He glanced behind me for a second before turning back to me. “I’ll go with you. It feels… uh, stuffy in here.”

being single was not exactly a choice on her part, it was more of a consequence of her demanding job as one of the best wedding planners in tokyo. her parents asked constantly if she was at least speaking with anyone romantically and when she would give them grandchildren. they pressured her to the point that she lied to them about having a boyfriend so they would leave her alone, only for them to say they want to meet him at her best friend’s wedding. time to come clean! or… find a fake boyfriend to keep her parents happy?

if you noticed that some characters’ pics changed, no you didn’t :)

for some reason my app erased all the profiles and i had to redo them

taglist (fill out this form to be tagged!)

@still-fking-single @chocoluxbaby @kittycasie @mindblownjun @yuminako @coconut-dreamz @lilith412426 @theidontknowmehn @miycutie @universal-s1ut @kellesvt @riiceandsoup @yuptha-tsme @moonlit-mizukage @matsunshine @sodapop606 @tinnierat @imnotgoodwithnamessoidk

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu social media au #haikyuu fic #haikyuu!! #haikyuu smau #haikyuu smut #suna rintarou #miya atsumu #miya osamu #msby sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa smut #sakusa x reader #haikyuu sakusa #bokuto koutarou #hinata shouyou

[sunnysideprincess]

Last few days have been wild lol, had a cystectomy, finally met my cousin's husband and now people are asking me to get married and have a baby before "it's too late", so I wrote this instead of punching them

no actual cheating happens here

Steve Rogers is a respectable married man. But he's called in by Virginia Potts, told Tiberus Stone's husband needs a bodyguard and it's fine, he's fine. He can take the heat of a family known to sell weapons to death and destruction. Except the husband is Tony fucking Stark, a man who is so obviously trapped. A trophy for Tiberus like his mother was to his father. And while Stone gets to sleep around, Tony's kept on a chokehold by his own father, uncle and husband. He's a writhing chrysalis trying to evolve, trying to break free. And Steve is helplessly in love with those furious doe eyes looking at him with all the rage as he stops him from trying to sneak away. Again and again. But he is also in love with his husband for seven years. So there's nothing to be found here.

"It's for your own safety," he tries to tell Tony. But the man won't listen. He throws a punch, two. Accuses him for being his husband's spy. Steve assures him he's not. He tells him Miss Potts picked him. And that pulls Tony up short. Leeches the anger out and leaves sharp confusion instead.

"Pepper sent you?" And Steve is a respectable married man. But if those eyes don't stop looking at him with all the curious wonder of a predator, he doesn't know what would happen. All he knows is that he'll end up long buried.

There's a change. Where Tony's rage and struggle pulled Steve in like a depraved blackhole, his gentleness and wit tethers something inside Steve. Keeps him coming back. Tony is a genius. But he's not a psychopath like Stone, not a greedy bastard like Stane, not a businessman like his father. He has hopes and dreams that could save the world. He sees a future that's bright and green. And Steve is a respectable married man headed for ruin.

Steve tells Bucky he would be late. He tells him he's got priorities and his husband says nothing, just nods and kisses his cheek.

He should have known.

He finds Bucky beside James Rhodes, doned up in his Soldier regalia.

"I'm assigning Barnes to Tony's guard."

"We have Rogers."

"Well we've also got Ten Rings coming after him."

There's that. Even Howard Stark doesn't want his son dead. And though there's an ugly scowl on Stane's face he doesn't like, Steve is more worried about deciphering Bucky's blank stare and the gentle flex of his metal limb.

Things go differently this time around. Tony meets Bucky not with fury, but a gentle curiousity. Like he's trying to peek through the icy winds of a storm. He picks and prods at him like a cat sniffing a new scratch post. Asks about the arm. About the metal. About the joints. And the connectors. But never about how he lost the weighted piece of flesh in the first place.

Steve is torn between pulling them apart and asking Bucky to say something.

But Bucky has his back to him. And Tony's eyes are sharp as ever.

"You're lucky my Rhodeybear warned me about you. Or you would gotten the same treatment as him."

Steve can put it on paper. He won't even have to look to know Bucky's interest at that. He always loves it when someone shoves at Steve's immovable strength.

"I punched him. Twice," Tony explains, and like an automated machine Steve defends himself.

"It didn't hurt."

Bucky snorts, shakes his head and throws him a look which tucks the message home. We'll talk later.

"You came back all bruised like a peach."

"Oh," Tony breathes and then blushes. "Well, that's an image."

"I want him," he mourns to Bucky on the sparring mat. Once Bucky has beaten him senseless, gotten the rage of betrayal out of his system. Once Steve learns that he is a respectable married man. But he can learn to be not. "I want him for both of us."

It takes time. Bucky is wary. Skittish around this other guy.

There is Stane and his obvious displeasure. There is Ten Rings and their looming threat. There is Tony himself, pulling away, haunted by a sad, guilty shadow.

"I'm married. And so are you." There is that and more under. There is Stone and his pride. Bruises marking Tony's skin. There is rage boiling up inside Steve, checked by a cold press of Bucky's hand over his neck.

There is too much. And too little.

But when Bucky falls, Steve isn't there. He is trapped behind the rubble after someone blew up the building. He is trapped and worried about the old lady with him, calling for her son and her daughter, bleeding from her torso.

He isn't there. Yet when he gets home, Bucky is there with his fury and rage, his eyes dark and lips warm as he lunges at Steve.

"He's a fucking idiot," he snarls and Steve grins. "He's gonna get himself killed!"

After, Bucky tells him the story.

"He just fucking jumped in after the kid. Wearing a goddamn tom ford suit like it's armor. Ten Rings wanted him alive so of course they stopped shooting. Only saving grace is that I was there. Picked them off one by one."

"And now?"

"Fuck you, Rogers."

"You already did."

"Shut up. We gotta genius to save."

Now, Steve and Bucky are both respectable married men. But they are also known to be a little bit rotten on the inside.

#stuckony #stevetony #winteriron #stony #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #buckytony #deb writes in between #stucky #mcu #mafia au #sort of? #bodyguard au #fic #ficlet #ficlets #married stucky #don't mess with stucky's tony #emotional infidelity #hinted abuse between tony and Tiberus

[zoeysdamn]

A/N: so. @corpsebasil got me on a chokehold with knight!Nikolaï AU and now I live for that. It inspired me SO MANY THINGS (mainly crushing angst or filthy smut), but you know me: when writing, I choose the ✨angst✨uhuh So here's a following scene of this one-shot that absolutely destroyed me; I'm here to finish the job (read it first, you won't regret it)

Running after lost time

Echoes of rumble from outside resonated within the stone walls of the chapel. Yet, inside, everything was so silent. Dead silent. 

Kneeling on the cold ground, not even the heavy lump in your throat could make you move. It was like the heaviness of your broken heart was keeping you here, unable to move, in front of the wooden coffin. The tears had dried a long time ago, but you could still feel the deep mark they had left on your cheeks. Now, the tears seemed to be blocked in your throat. Not that you would be able, or wished to speak, anyway. Your voice too, had disappeared after screaming for so long, out of grief, anger and pain. That was all that was left of him, it seemed. 

Breaking the silence of the chapel, someone cleared their throat. 

“They are waiting.” 

You didn’t move. The rigged surface of the wood beneath your fingers was the only thing mattering right now. The feeling was probably the only thing that made you able to not cry again. Just maybe. 

Footsteps carefully came closer – but thankfully, they stopped at a good distance from you. Like they knew if they came any closer, you’d probably lost it. He was maybe a humble captain soldier that came back from war, but Dominik wasn’t a fool with a death wish. 

“They are waiting,” he repeated. 

“I don’t care,” you muttered, voice broken from the endless crying hours. 

The soldier winced. He knew he should be insisting; that the crowd, the army official, the priest, even the royal family were waiting outside of the door, for the funeral service to begin. To pay their respects to Sir Nikolaï, national hero fallen in combat. 

But right now, he couldn’t bring himself to make you move – who was he to force you to do anything right now? 

Still, the sense of duty remained. For his sake. 

“The ceremony should have started half an hour ago, princess”, he reminded you in a firm tone.

You could have his head for how he spoke to you. But under the firmness of his demand, you sensed the lingering pain. He, too, has lost a friend after all. 

Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your own pain was too overwhelming to allow you to feel anything else – including empathy. 

It had been Nikolaï that had made you alive ; his presence, his laughs, his touch… without him, you simply couldn’t continue to live like you used to. How could you continue to do this without him? 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you tried to hold back the tears that had started to form again at the memory of Nikolaï. “They’ll wait,” you rasped. “I can’t – I need more time…”

The soldier felt his own throat tighten at the sound of your broken voice. He couldn’t see your face, hidden under the black grieving veil, but knew how deep the sadness had marked your traits for the past few days. 

A new rumble from the crowd outside echoed, and your hands clutched on the cloth draped on the middle of the coffin. The double-headed eagle, proud symbol of Ravka, distorted under your trembling hands. A ray of light, guided by the stained glass, glinted on the rough edge of the ring adorning your hand. 

The jewelry that had held so much hope during his time away weighted on your finger. The green stone was a painful reminder of his absence – despite what he promised when he gave you this ring that night. When he had promised to come back to you, when you had held on each other, loving each other so intensely after you exchanged your vows – 

“His brother will be here,” Dominik noted out loud, interrupting your spiraling thoughts. The snarl that escaped you was very much unladylike. 

“Then he’ll wait too,” you spat. 

“Princess–”

“He will. Wait.”

This wasn't appropriate to have such bitter thoughts. But right now all you thought about Nikolaï's brother was an angry one. Why wasn't he the one who died, instead of Sir Nikolaï ?

Just as quick as it came, the idea was brushed away; still, the thought remained, anchored deep into your mind.

Nikolaï has spoken to you about his brother only once: a general in the army, who despised him and had very little contact with — but still his brother. 

And the thought that Vasily should have died instead of Nikolaï would never truly leave you. Some nights, you'd even pray, beg to the very Saints who had been witness of your union, to take Vasily's life and bring your beloved back. 

But despite the pain, the anger and all the tears, a part of you knew this would never happen. A rational part of you knew, that eventually you'd have to open those chapel doors, face the crowd, and go throughout the funeral with your head held high. You knew, that someday you'll have to leave the castle to live as a recluse widow. There wasn't anything left for you anyway, once Nikolaï's coffin would be buried. 

Sniffling, you tightened a trembling hand on the rough wood.

"Open the doors," you let out in a shaky whisper, much to Dominik's surprise. "But…in a minute please, I— I just need a little more time with him…"

Bowing his head, the soldier stepped away respectfully. He'd give you all the minutes you'll need.

After all, even if he wanted to bury Nikolaï and pay a last respect to his captain and friend, the Princess needed this.

After all, you needed to grasp those precious minutes, of the time with your husband that had been robbed from you.

Brb I'm gonna cry in a corner now

#shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone imagine #knight nikolai #knight nikolai lantsov #angst

[pinkrelish]

Ok, so I was going on a little trip today with my sister-in-law and 2 year old nephew and while she was in the post office I was staying with him in the car. He started singing ol mcdonald and my heart just exploded with rainbows. And so of course I sang with him and it got me thinking about miss mouse singing with adrie and how eddie would just melt over them. Just miss mouse and adrie being the loves in Eddie's life has my heart in a chokehold. ❤

okay, you and your nephew are adorable, and i'm trying to recover from the image of adrie and miss mouse dancing to the country station wayne's radio is tuned to in the living room, holding hands and shimmying back and forth to the upbeat tempo, singing along only to the chorus and still tripping over the words. eddie's in the kitchen prepping food for the barbecue. smoke from embered charcoal catches the weak summer breeze passing through the door propped open with his heavy work boots, stale air sticky on the skin. evening cricket music hums loud in the static before the station switches to the next song.

the sight isn't wholly unfamiliar to eddie at this point, but he keeps his head down, watching his girls while he absently moves his hands with a task; an excuse prepared in his quick gaze darting to the corn he was supposed to be shucking when wayne leans in from outside and clicks the tongs at him to hurry up. "yes, sir," he says. though, an audible grin soon pulls his attention, and again, he thinks about giving himself a haircut to keep his bangs from feathering his lashes, fumbling the act of peeling away green leaf husks under the pressure of wayne waiting for the paper plate, but his attention stays on his daughter, her twinkling eyes peering up at her idol, cheesy smile plastered on her face a carbon copy of his.

the uncomplicated joy of a dream being fulfilled lifts the groove of his mouth into some lovesick expression, eyes soft and fond. wayne sees this and tuts at the smitten boy on behalf of his growling stomach, old man pretending cigarettes were an apt replacement for lunch. no matter how much eddie seals his lips and smothers his laugh from reaching his shoulders, his uncle reminds him the first batch of chicken is going to be ready any minute now and he better get to makin' the potato salad.

"if this chicken turns out dry, s'your fault," he warns, already on edge about impressing a guest with his barbecue.

"yes, sir. got it, sir. will be done in a jiffy, sir," eddie digs his grave.

it was unfair how his family could make his cheeks ache while doing something as unremarkable as unthreading silk from rows of kernels, but they managed.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #the yes policy #eddie munson fluff #dad!eddie

[caswensworld]

One thing about me is I will always respect a good villain gang when I see one and THIS gang! The gang of Merlin Academy running the shots! No exception. Rent. Was. Due! Disney, from here on out, if your teen villains do not look like these baddies who are serving seductive, poisonous cunt, Respectfully, Ion want it.

So let’s run down the line. Let’s take attendance.

Dara Renee said she looks cute as Ulyana, NOT HOT! OKAY GREEN! Look at her smile! First her daughter, now her sister, Ursula’s family has me in a chokehold and they are never letting me go (and I don’t want them to hehe). This look gives very much Ursula from Once Upon a Time vibes and I love it! So much! I wanna be part of her gang! Like, Ulyana, baby girl, what are you insecure of? I don’t care about Ursula anymore. I got Uma and I got Ulyana, I don’t want Ursula. I’m trying to keep it pg-rated, but…I would let her top me. I want her tentacles all over me, I’m so sorry…I’m not.

Hades has left the Underworld and he is looking sharp! I love leather. I love spikes. I love the whole punk persona! I have a punk persona! So I love the fact that me and Hades, one of my favorite villains…Are the same. Exactly the same. I am going to find a studded leather jacket and choker so we can match. We also got similar taste in music, like Hades, let’s be friends. Let’s start a band. We can call ourselves “Fire!”

Queen Maleficent, Mistress of Darkness may be lurking in the back, but I’m seeing her. Now her horns look a little weird right now but I’m gonna wait for the official posters and pictures with better quality before I start to give my full judgement. But like…y’all, she’s Maleficent, when have we ever had a Maleficent who doesn’t serve with looks, darkness, and attitude? Like, girl, come for Ulyana! Pull Hades! I expect you to use magic! I demand at least ONE Dragon transformation! DEMAND it!

Ulyana is the Captain here, jot that down, but Hook is still serving so let’s have a conversation. Looks are clearly a strength in the Hooks family, so what do the girls look like? The men are handsome, so let’s have the girls do some Justice please. His fit almost exactly replicated the cartoon and I love that. The only problem I have is…where’s the hat? The iconic red hat with the big feather? Disney, he better have that hat. Don’t be playing with me.

Morgie…he’s giving kinda Carlos and Gil vibes. That is indeed a compliment. Now is his outfit as extravagant as the others? No. Is it still good and is he still killing the game? Absolutely. These VKs stay with the drip. Who else is looking good in a scarf? I don’t see anyone else wearing one! Now his mother is said to be the Morgana Le Fay in Sofia the First so…Is our dear Princess in the Descendants Universe lol? Is my girl enrolled in Auradon Prep? Is she with Hugo? I’m sorry, I just find this so funny, where is Enchancia on the Auradon map? Watch Morgie reference this in the movie, I just, I can’t!

One thing about villains is they will always be looking good and I will always be wanting to find a way to thrift their clothing. I can’t wait to see these looks with better qualities

#disney descendants #descendants #descendants 4 #descendants the pocketwatch #disney descendants 4 #descendants rise of red #descendants the rise of red #the rise of red #hades descendants #descendants hades #young hades #disney hades #hercules hades #ulyana sister of ursula #descendants maleficent #young maleficent #maleficent mistress of evil #maleficent #captain hook #morgie descendants #descendants morgie #morgana le fay

[creativemessbyvd]

FIC IDEA VAULT #15: A BAGGINSHIELD AFTERLIFE REUNION/TIME TRAVEL/ FIX-IT/BILBO DESTROYS THE RING IN PLACE OF FRODO FIC

Back on my Bagginshield era, I'm reading fics on them (I stopped bc various SW ships and other ships had me on a chokehold, how about those last 15 on Good Omens Ep6?? :c) and listening to my playlist once more, I think I had since the start of the year with hardly any of my OTP around (except for my phone background) ANYWAY this is to inform you I am also back on my bullshit and I come with another fic idea, which will be put on hold until I can complete the other 164453196859 ideas I have. Ok, not that many, but I do have a lot of very detailed ideas that I do want to write and a bunch of half sentenced ones that are just ideas, so here we goooooooo

Bilbo dies on the way to Valinor and awakens on it as his 50 year old self, to the astonishment of the Elves, Gandalf and Frodo. Something is wrong with the afterlife, it is in the air and everyone is on edge, Frodo most of all, as he has felt this presence before.

Sauron may have died on Arda, but he was still in part present in the afterlife, wrecking havoc on everything. Bilbo embarks to the green hills of Yavanna's garden, the land where all Hobbits go, with Frodo and Gandalf. Upon reunitign with family and friends, Yavanna herself welcomes the brave hobbits but Bilbo can notice the tense manner in which she speaks to Gandalf and offers his help. Yavanna informs them that the various lands of the Valar are on lockdown as they face attacks from the darkness and they fear they may not last until Iluvitar can help them, but that is a mission that Gandalf and the other wizards don't know how long it will take. She is afraid for her husbands and needs a way to contact him. She believes having them all cut off from each other was the wrong choice, uniting their forces they will be able to hold off the darkness better than on their own. So, Bilbo is determined to once more become a burglar and enter another mountain. Yavanna does warn him though that this time, the dragon is on the outside of the mountain. Sauron has set Smaug onto the Mountain that is Mahal's domain.

Bilbo sets off with four trouble hobbits to sneak into the Dwarven Halls, managing to distract the dragon enough that he ramms into the mountain and knocks himself out. They find a way inside and find a funny scene, Bilbo's dwarves are attempting to take down the front doors, despite their maker trying to make them see reason. They had heard Smaug's attempts to draw them out, the last thing the dragon had told them, aimed at Thorin himself, was that he was going to go to the Gardens to find Bilbo himself and get his revenge. Bilbo had at that moment drawn away his attention and having not heard the thunderous racket for awhile, the dwarves inside had panicked and were now attempting to try to kill the dragon themselves. Bilbo laughs at their ridiculousness and is almost squished by 13 dwarves. Mahal knows they wouldn't be there unless his wife had sent them and Bilbo gives him the message Yavanna had given him.

Mahal himself is now more than ever determined to find a way to stop the rampage that Sauron is inflicting on their lands. He goes out the way the hobbits came in to take care of a knocked out Smaug, and together, the hobbits, the dwarves and a Valar set off for the Gardens once more.

Reunited, the Valar are planning and discarding plans faster than the others can follow, until Mahal has a very dangerous plan, which he calls the Durin Last Resort.

The reason that Sauron is now able to still remain in lands of the Valar is because he was able to draw power from the remaining rings still in Middle Earth at the time of the War of the Ring, destroying it had not completely cut him off. The other rings had to be found and destroyed before the One Ring was finally banished, only then would Sauron finally be defeated. Time was not a straight line, it happened all at once, and still, Mahal and Yavanna could sent people back as Mahal had done before for Durin in his various reincarnations.

This makes Frodo almost collapse from the anxiety, but he swears that he will try his best if he is asked to be the Ring Bearer again. Bilbo can't take seeing his dear nephew in so much pain, not when he knows that he wasted so much time by doing nothing but using the ring as a simple party trick. He offers himself to go and be the Ring Bearer this time, reasoning that even if Frodo went back to the beginning of his adventure, Sauron already had plenty of time to be prepared and on the lookout for the Ring, but when Bilbo got the Ring himself, Sauron was not strong enough to do much but be the necromancer.

Mahal agrees but Yavanna is not happy. She refuses to put Bilbo in such danger, unless the company also go with him. She wishes for this to be a second chance for the line of Durin, and thus Bilbo wouldn't be alone on his trials. They cannot be sure exactly when Bilbo will go back to, just that it will before the retaking of Erebor. He will also be the only one who will initially have his memories, everyone else will need to be told a special message to unlock those memories back in the world of the living.

Bilbo is then send back in time and back to life a couple of years before his adventure and sets to making things right not just for his friends but also for many others in his life.

Anway, sorry for the innaccuracies on the Valar and everything else, I will not read the Silm and will just wing it lol. Essentially, I want BAMF Bilbo who gets to reunite with his dwarves in the afterlife, and then gets send back into his past to redo the Quest and also go on to destroy the Ring in the place of Frodo. If he and his King are able to finally stop being idiots and actually speak on their feelings, well, we will see. Those two are worse at communication than an angel and demon I know, so it might take a while lol.

Any comments are welcome!

#my writing #fic idea vault #fic idea vault 15 #afterlife reunion #bagginshield fic #bagginshield #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #frodo baggins

[lunamadrigal]

Bruno's kiddos would be the ones to enjoy buñuelos a lil too much.. Too much enthusiasm, with reckless abandonment and competitively, in the sweetest way possible.

The way @daliceus makes my heart go boom boom with her art is otherworldly mkay

Lily Lore Facts:

🌟 Lily's birthday is Sep 19th 1956 / Virgo

🌟 Lily's full name is Lily Estrella Madrigal. Estrella meaning 'star' and is her mother's maiden name.

🌟 Nicknames: Lil, mi estrella, moonbeam & stardust

🌟 The name Lily is a tie back to one of Pedro’s poems (Lily Of The Valley) and artwork he left behind in a journal that Bruno found as a child.

🌟 Lily's gift, like both of Bruno’s biological children, is connected to time. Hers being the ability to manipulate time, stopping, reversing and altering the flow.

🌟 Her door is the only one in Casita to not show her image/portrait on it. Instead a glowing half moon is shown and when being used the magic of the door is active and it ticks through the lunar phases. Another tie to her gift.

🌟 A special moment that Diego and Lily gave Abuela was when they brought her back to meet Pedro in the past. Lily’s gift age reversing her back for that meeting.

🌟 Mirabel made Lily a Benji puma plushie of her oldest brother after he moved out and into his own home on their street, for when she misses him terribly and stop her trying to sneak over. Both Diego and Lily adore cuddles with Benji in puma form.

🌟 Pepa was highly disappointed when she wasn't Diego's favorite family member as a baby which she got redemption for when Lily came along and loved the sound of falling rain. Pepa would be the only one able to get her back to sleep when fussy cause of this.

🌟 The white streak in Lily's hair was an effect after receiving her gift on the night of the lunar eclipse and Bruno affectionately calls it "kissed by starlight".

🌟 Lily's full gift explained: time manipulation

Ability to affect the flow of time (by slowing, accelerating, reversing, or stopping it), astral projection on a full moon she can visit the dreams of loved ones (rare ability and only shown/used once for Luna), dream-weaver (can help ease and settle subconscious thoughts in order to allow easier sleep, the family always thought she was given this extra ability to help Bruno but ends up using it on Benji's brother the most.)

🌟 Her gift is strengthened by moonlight, on a full moon (lilies grew everywhere the moonlight touched on the night of the eclipse, a result of Lily receiving her gift)

🌟 Growing up with older brothers Lily can hold her own and doesn’t shy away from a challenge, although the boys spoil her rotten, allowing her to get away with anything when Luna and Bruno aren’t home (they scream sing her song ‘Queen by Hidden Citizens’ to her and let her dance on the table when they’re alone),

🌟 Lily is the biggest snuggler in the family and hates sleeping alone, especially on nights when the moonlight is hidden behind clouds. Bruno takes his old ‘bad’ prophecy tablets and smashes them up, crushing them into tiny speckles and mixes it into paint, giving her room its own glowing starry sky for her. Lily loves it so much they later fill jars with the crushed glowing glass as an extra form of nightlight she can use when walking in the dark.

🌟 Lily loves sneaking into Diego’s room at night to cuddle, much to his regret (although he's never kicked her out or brought her back to her room so more than likely enjoys her company too).

🌟 Since Bruno is the breakfast maker of the family, Lily and Mateo love joining him in the kitchen, mostly to eat anything before he has a chance to plate it. They are always covered in a mess of crumbs. Lily loves buñuelos, same as Luna.

🌟 Her style is described as creative, artsy, colorful, somewhat eccentric as she pairs odd bits of fabric and likes to wear sombrero’s (possibly to fit in with her hermano’s which she looks up to), sometimes a bit of a tomboy even in a dress or skirt.

🌟 Bruno had to learn to braid her hair cause she enjoys how he grumbles, mumbles and talks to himself while doing it. When Bruno isn't able to braid her hair she ropes Diego into it instead, which he's surprisingly good at.

🌟 Her artsy side comes out whenever Bruno naps and she has a chance to draw on his arm, loving to add her special flair to where his tattoo sits. Diego has learned to hide her pens whenever he naps to avoid her making him "pretty" (sometimes he misses her hijinks and purposely "forgets" to put away her drawing materials).

🌟 Lily is learning to play the violin from Agustín cause she loves watching Bruno teach Diego guitar and is hoping to surprise them with her own version of "fancy guitar".

🌟 Bruno's children are the Keepers of Time whereas Luna and Bruno are the Seers

🌟 Abuela's tokens from her chatelaine were passed down.

The key to Casita for Mirabel, next matriarch

The locket with Pedro for Diego, link to the past keeping family alive in spirit

The pocket watch for Lily, keeper of the flow of time

#this makes me so damn happy you cannot even imagine #the green family has me by a chokehold #why am i associated with the sound of falling fluff #bruno and his babies cause i said so #encanto oc #bruno headcanons #bruno my beloved #best dad bruno #i do not accept any other bruno family hc #bruno madrigal #disney encanto #i wanna hug my ocs too #encanto headcanons

[albonoooo]

got tagged by @wanderingblindly, thank you my beloved <3

what colour are your eyes?: a mixture of blue, green and grey that looks puddle-coloured most of the time.

tell me about your pets/your dream pet: after 15 wonderful years, our family dog paul (i named him that when i was five lol) unfortunately passed away in august 2023, i loved that dog more than most people. (there were some pictures of him here, but i got nervous that someone i know might see this so i removed them lmao). i'd love to get a dog or a cat at some point later in my life, but not now or any time soon.

share some interesting fact about yourself: i'm genuinely incredibly boring, so much so that i had to ask for help to find an answer here. the council decided on the fact that i know how to ride and own a motorcycle and am also a member in an mf in my hometown.

what was the first fandom you were a part of?: i guess the first time i was properly involved with fandom in any capacity was during my teen wolf days.

do you have any phobias?: i don't know if it's bad enough to be considered a phobia, but i'm terrified of heights. there have been several instances of me breaking down crying despite trying to keep it together while being in very high places (usually while having to climb dodgy stairs in very high buildings, among other things).

are you a picky eater? if so, what food can't you stand?: YES! and i hate it because it's so so limiting and annoying. i am incredibly sensitive regarding taste and texture and i have to physically force myself to hold back visceral reactions to foods i don't like. it'd probably be easier to list the foods i can eat tbh.

do you eat the burger and fries at the same time or one after another?: first some fries, then burger, fries, burger, fries, finish the burger, finish the fries. anything else is weird (what the fuck do you mean you eat them completely separately, liquid???)

winter or summer: winter all the way. i sweat easily, my body generally doesn't cope well with heat and i prefer bundling up and being a little cold over feeling too warm.

favourite fanfiction tropes: i LOVE a good au, any au really, but especially the cute ones. i'll read almost anything at least once and so there's just too many things i have read and enjoyed to list here. also, anything with an enemies to lovers situation. i am a sucker for that.

are you studying or working? what do you study/is your job?: both! i'm a full-time student (english major, history minor) and i am one of the student assistants in the english department's student office. i've also had other, less fun part-time jobs in the past.

what is the last country you visited: the netherlands and belgium during a day trip (by motorcycle) in june or july last year, i think.

what country would you want to move to after retiring?: i've haven't ever even considered living that long. i've always had a fascination with ireland and scotland, so based on looks and vibes alone i'd go there. or somewhere with solid winters, like a scandinavian country or finland.

who was your first crush?: hannes (played by nick romeo reimann) in the vorstadtkrokodile movies. i was ready for marriage, dreaming up a life together and everything. it also lasted until i was like 12 years old, so about six years in total. he really had me in a chokehold.

how did you get into f1 fandom?: after my interest was peaked by f1 edits that randomly popped up all over my social media one day (thank you algorithms), i did what i always do when something like that happens and opened tumblr to see what's up. and then i got stuck lol.

i have no clue who has or hasn't been tagged already, so feel free to ignore this!! @hrhgeorgerussell @bright-and-burning @borntogayz @lil-italian-disappointment @liamlawsonlesbian @piastrisms

#would you look at that i'm oversharing on the internet again #tag games

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (18-24 Feb 2024)

i'll always prefer the og but this iteration is entertaining

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

The Old Codgers Greatest Hits Album (AggressiveWhenStartled, author; quietnight, narrator) - 57K series, canon-divergent stucky co-starring peter parker. Reread of this hilarious forever fave where first teenage peter is forced to deal with two body-swapped geriatric supersoldiers and then bucky is forced to deal with two teenage spidermen trying (and failing) to stealthily rescue their "dog". Great podfic by quietnight, absolute hilarity

History of American Capitalism (Zenaidamacrouras1) - 85K, shrinkyclinks college AU with superstar QB!Bucky & history nerd Steve - incredible found family dynamics, can't believe @zenaidamacrouras1 made me actually really get into an AU that involved both undergrads AND football. The nerve! The talent! (the fic is single POV but there's an amazing companion piece that's Bucky's convos with this sister that give a his POV on some of it and it's equally amazing)

💖💖 +347K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Half sleep, half waking (softestpunk) - The Sandman & Rivers of London crossover: dreamling, 8K - amazing crossover! I wish there was 60K of this for me to read

Road to Joy (Oddree13) - Stranger Things: steddie, 25K - latest chapter in this omegaverse steddie series that I absolutely adore

Knit One, Purl Two (mollus) - MCU: stucky, 32K - reread; forever fave WS recovery fic with lots of softness in the form of: knitting, dancing, soap making and senior citizens

Red, White & Royal Goose (fairestfaerie) - RWRB: alex/henry, 7K - I just love a good Soulmate Goose of Enforcement fic

This Sunlit Land (eyres) - MCU: stucky, 38K - wonderful canon/timeline-divergent WS recovery AU

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Resident Alien - s1, e1-3

QI - series S, ep 7-9

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "The Fall of New York City" (s7, e1)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Heaven and Hell on Earth" (s7, e2)

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Stress Tested" (s21, e7)

D20: Adventuring Party - "A Negroni and a Bowl of Spinach" (s16, e7)

Ghosts (US) - s2, e16-22; s3, e1-2

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Vibe Check - Hey, Sis: featuring Kimberly Drew

The Sporkful - Can A Restaurant Makeover Make Diners Spend More?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Boston’s Blue Hill

Short Wave - The Life And Death Of A Woolly Mammoth

Desert Island Discs - Sheku Kanneh-Mason, cellist

I Said No Gifts! - Jay Jurden Disobeys Bridger

The Assignment with Audie Cornish - Where Does Fani Willis Go From Here?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - World’s Loneliest House

⭐ Switched on Pop - Adult Contemporary, but make it cool (with CHROMEO)

Shedunnit - The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club (Green Penguin Book Club 1)

Up First - Julian Assange Extradition Hearing, Egypt Buffer Zone, Louisiana Special Session

Today, Explained - The Panama Canal is drying up

It's Been a Minute - Jada Pinkett Smith, the artist

Vibe Check - Welcome to Tip Check

Outward - True Detective: Night Country’s Lesbian Subtext

⭐ Code Switch - Why menthol cigarettes have a chokehold on Black smokers

Short Wave - When The Sun Erupts

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Stone of Destiny

⭐ 99% Invisible #571 - You Are What You Watch

Films To Be Buried With - Tyler James Williams

Ologies with Alie Ward - Black Hole Theory Cosmology (WHAT ARE BLACK HOLES?!) Part 1 with Ronald Gamble, Jr.

Off Menu - Ep 226: Noel Fielding

NPR's Book of the Day - 'Thank You Please Come Again' pays homage to Southern gas station food shops

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Buffalo Soldiers National Museum

The Assignment with Audie Cornish - Jake Tapper on American Political Scandal

⭐ Throughline - Dance Yourself Free (Throwback)

If Books Could Kill - The Better Angels of Our Nature

Our Opinions Are Correct - We Don't Give a F*ck About Canon

⭐ Today, Explained - Fight at the Museum

The Sporkful - Deep Dish With Sohla And Ham: Bagels

Dear Prudence - My Friend Has a Master’s Degree in Lying. Help!

What Next: TBD - The Coasts are Sinking

Short Wave - Didn't Get A Valentine's Love Song? These Skywalker Gibbons Sing Love Duets

Endless Thread - Endless Thread: The Musical

⭐ Twenty Thousand Hertz+ - Industrial Musicals

Strong Songs - "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden

You're Dead to Me - Queen of Sheba [turned out to be really perfect timing to have this knowledge right before getting to certain relevant bits in my current read The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi]

It's Been a Minute - Have we hit celebrity overload? Plus, Miyazaki's movie magic

Simply Reflecting - Did You Say Delusional?

Under the Influence - Seeing is Believing: The Power of Demonstration Commercials

Hit Parade - The Bridge: Bon Soir, Barbra

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Chromeo

Living Colour

Chicago House Foundation

Presenting Soundgarden

Swing Fever [Rod Stewart & Jools Holland] {2024}

Adult Contemporary [Chromeo] {2024}

Campfire Classics

#sunday reading recap #bookgeekgrrl's reading habits #bookgeekgrrl's soundtracks #soulmate goose of enforcement #fanfic ftw #d20 #dimension 20 #chromeo #living colour #chicago house music #soundgarden #throughline podcast #switched on pop podcast #20k hz podcast #code switch podcast #99% invisible podcast #today‚ explained podcast #you're dead to me podcast #hit parade podcast #vibe check podcast #the atlas obscura podcast #the sporkful podcast #short wave podcast #it's been a minute podcast #strong songs podcast #what next: tbd podcast #up first podcast #ologies podcast #endless thread podcast #desert island discs

[m1ckeyb3rry]

SiTH has me on a chock-hold these past weeks 😭 esp friedrch and hadrian speaking of those two how would you describe their appearances? I remember you saying friedrich has kind of an rbf before and him having brown-blondish hair? (I always imagined him w black hair and kind of emo but like a sassy emo LMAO) also how popular do you think they r w the ladies tbh I think colt wld be pretty popular I mean he bagged Cordelia the moment she set eyes on him loll

SitH chokehold is so real LMAOAO especially those two 💖 my fav boys fr…yeah i think friedrich is def a very unapproachable looking person if that makes sense?? and i do think he’s described as having brown-blondish hair but nowadays i feel like i tend to imagine him having darker hair…still in that more cool brown range but not quite as blond i think 🧐 idk his main characteristic to me is that he has grey eyes with dark circles under them. hadrian has black hair and very warm but dark green eyes and he’s more on the tan side whereas friedrich i think would be kind of pale tbh.

if i’m remembering correctly colt was described as being one of the most attractive aot characters in-universe??? i think he has that very sweet golden boy charm about him so he’s definitely very popular with girls especially as a warrior candidate LMAOO. hadrian is definitely very popular with girls as well because he is super kind and gentle and warm if that makes sense?? he just puts everyone at ease plus he’s very conventionally handsome imo.

as for friedrich…😔💔 that man gets 0 women 😭😭😭 i think one of my author’s notes called him ugly lowkey which i would like to clarify by saying that he is not actually ugly — especially by today’s standards he’s very good looking!! it’s more that unlike the other two he’s very closed off and withdrawn (people say he’s “creepy” looking but it’s more in the sense that he just has a very offputting vibe about him) plus besides his family he really only cares about y/n and colt so he doesn’t do much to correct people’s assumptions because they don’t matter to him. he’s definitely super sassy though but he’s the type to only let his true self show once he knows someone?? so most people don’t see that side of him.

#one day when i have money i will get commissions done of friedrich and hadrian #and marek #it’s hard being a marek girl in a friedrich & hadrian world #jkjk i love the other two but like… #traumatized ex soldier w half his face covered in bandages 😫 #when he’s so handsome that even mutilated he’s still pulling #even had THE y/n l/n at her most traumatized lowkey down bad #like that’s a real man right there #ship in the harbor #answered asks

[clericofshadows]

you got me in a chokehold

I posted this on AO3 already, but I never put the whole thing on my blog since it was a 10K whopper.

so I'm doing it now so that all my fics are in one place.

Description: Sequel to take me back to eden. Kaidan and Zaeed meet up on Earth to reconcile and to grieve over the loss of Regis Shepard. Rating: E Paring: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko, Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani, Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani/Regis Shepard (past)

Kaidan stepped out of the Alliance transport hub, his bag slung over his shoulder, taking in a deep breath.  Always good to be back on Earth, and to be back home in the cool air of Vancouver.

He wished he wasn’t taking this trip alone.  

He walked down the street for a few minutes until he reached a small little cafe.  Quaint, locally owned, and a favorite of his and Regis’s that always had the best damn cookies and brownies.

The day Regis managed to get the recipe to their triple chocolate brownies was quite a victory.

Kaidan stepped inside, smelling the sugar in the air.  He waved at the owner of the cafe before sitting down at the bar against the windows, taking a seat next to Zaeed.  

“You should’ve gone into spec ops,” Zaeed laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.  “Too damn quiet.”

“That actually might be in my future,” Kaidan replied, leaning into his touch.  “Got a lot to think about.” “I’m sure you do.  Crazy times we live in.”

“No shit.  God, it’s only been like two months.”

“Feels like a damn eternity.  I keep expecting to get a ping from him, a check in message or some new hack he wants me to download.”

Kaidan nodded, staring out the window.  “I keep asking myself what I could’ve done differently, if I could’ve forced him to come with me, to abandon ship early.  But that wasn’t who Regis was.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Zaeed agreed.  “Not when it came to his crew I heard so much about.”

The owner came over and brought out his usual order, a small green tea with their triple chocolate brownie.  Something was different, however.

A folded piece of paper laid next to a wrapped stack of sugar cookies. Regis’s favorite order.

“This is on the house, Kaidan,” she said.  “I heard the news.  I’m so sorry.  I know he always loved these things, so I decided to give up my recipe.  I think he would like you to try and copy them yourself.”

Blinking away tears, Kaidan took the tray from her hands with a watery smile.  “Thank you, Lucy.  He definitely would.  I can hear him now, bitching about how I was the one who got the prize.”

“And he would be saying he can make them oh-so-better than me.  Bastard,” she laughed.  “If you don’t mind me asking, would you mind if I made a new menu item for him?  Something he liked but we don’t have.”

“Chocolate squares,” Kaidan immediately replied, thankful for her thoughtfulness.  “I’ll send you his recipe.”

“Thank you.  King’s Chocolate Squares, I like it!” she smiled.  “Enjoy your tea and snacks, Kaidan.”

“I definitely will.”

Kaidan took a sip of his tea as she walked back to the counter.  “She’s owned this place for years and has been a friend of my family.  Sort of a tradition to come here first if we’ve been off planet for a while.”

“I can see why.” Zaeed motioned to his cup.  “This is the best goddamn hot chocolate I’ve had in years.”

Kaidan split his brownie into two and passed it over to him.  “Try this.”

Zaeed took a bite and widened his eyes.  “Holy shit.”

“I know, right?”

Zaeed quickly finished the rest of the treat off. Kaidan pushed his plate towards him with a grin, but he held up his hand.  “It’s yours.”

“Let me be a gentleman.”

“Nah, I won’t be greedy this time.  I’ll save that for later.”

Why was it so easy to talk to him?  Even after everything that has happened?

“So confident there’s going to be a later,” Kaidan teased, taking a bite out of his brownie.  

“I don’t think you would’ve come all this way just for a goddamn brownie.”

“I don’t know, you just found out how good these were.”

“Fair point.” Zaeed shrugged, finishing off his drink.  “I got some interesting news to tell you as well, but that can wait until we’re back at the apartment.”

“Mine’s closer,” Kaidan replied, immediately intrigued.  “Unless you would prefer your accommodations?”

“Nah.  I brought my essentials with me.  I travel light.  It’s in a locked bag with my motorcycle,” Zaeed said.  "We can always go back to my place if needed."

“Sounds good.” Kaidan finished off his tea and carefully packed the recipe and the cookies in his bag.  “Lead the way.”

Kaidan followed Zaeed out the door after saying goodbye to Lucy.  They walked a short distance, hands brushing against each other the whole way, neither of them making a move.

Not yet.  Kaidan wanted it, but part of it still felt too soon, even if Zaeed’s offer was tantalizing.

Regis would want him to go for it.  He fell first and hard for the man back on their Omega adventures, Kaidan quickly joining him with his own infatuation after a few battles together.

Unafraid to work with biotics and unashamed of his abilities, Kaidan was drawn to Zaeed’s manner.  He meshed well with them, following up with strikes on carefully lifted and pulled targets without a second thought.

Perhaps he had worked with biotics before in his career as a merc, but there was something special there.

And Regis and Kaidan had yearned for more after it was time to go back to being Alliance soldiers.

“Do it,” he could almost hear Regis say in his ear, “make yourself happy.”

Ten years of a relationship and even more of a friendship taken away in an instant.  Over ten years of knowing each other, of becoming one on the battlefield, of surviving impossible odds and feeling each other’s biotic field when close together.

Kaidan missed the comforting press of Regis’s biotics.  Regis always claimed he wasn’t as strong as Kaidan when it came to pure control and precision, but Regis figured out how to reign in his field in such a way it would take a lot of concentration from another biotic to sense him.  Something he perfected during N training.  

Something he later taught Kaidan as an in-case measure.

Kaidan now kept his field in close.

There’s no longer another biotic by his side to sense it.

Kaidan snapped out of his thoughts once Zaeed came to a stop.  Zaeed perched himself on the motorcycle, holding out his hand and a spare helmet.  Kaidan took his hand and put on the motorcycle helmet, noticing that it was painted a grey camo pattern with blue stripes, just like his armor.

“You made this just for me?” He asked, wrapping his arms around Zaeed.

“I had one made for Regis as well,” he admitted, “N7 stripes and all.  Kept them stored here on Earth, and I was going to give them to you after your mission as a surprise.”

Fuck.  Was Zaeed hoping that one day their relationship could resume beyond just messages and vid calls?

“He would’ve loved it,” Kaidan replied, trying to keep his voice steady.  “Hell, did I ever tell you about the motorcycle he stores on my family’s property?”

“No, I don’t think you did,” Zaeed said, and Kaidan could hear the strain in his voice as well.  “Tell me more.”

The motorcycle roared to life as they activated the comms in their helmets, damping the sound some and allowing them to better talk on the drive.  Kaidan sent Zaeed the address to his apartment, and then they were off.

“Regis was obsessed with pre-eezo bikes, and somehow, he managed to get his hands on one in decent condition.  Hell if I know what he paid for it, but he loved taking that thing down all the roads in the country and tinkering with it.  We had a lot of good times riding together.” Like this, he wanted to say, arms wrapped around someone I love.  Someone I trust to never crash and to keep me safe.

“I’m sure you two had lots of fun riding together.” Zaeed laughed.

“That too,” Kaidan replied with a grin, knowing that Zaeed couldn’t see it.  “Remember, despite all Regis’s confidence, he’s the one that always paused with those kinds of comments.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t forget.  Did you rile him up during your mission?”

“A few times.  We had to keep it somewhat professional.”

“Surprised you were able to stay together.  Regis mentioned that he leveraged the Alliance’s want for him to be on that ship by making sure you were on board.”

“Some of the Admirals were aware at the time, but the ones that did didn’t care.”

Hackett. Ahern. Hannah. 

“Sounds like it could’ve been the perfect posting for you two.”

“It really was.”

They fell silent after that.  

The traffic was light, and soon Zaeed was parked at Kaidan’s apartment building, and they were heading inside.

Kaidan unlocked the door with a wave of his omnitool, the lights turning on the moment they walked in.  He quickly showed Zaeed where everything was, stopping at his bedroom to drop off his bag.

Kaidan sat down on the bed, noticing a long black coat still thrown over the edge of the bed.  

One of Regis’s favorite coats.

Zaeed joined him on the bed a moment later.  “Want me to get that for you?”

Kaidan shook his head, unable to speak, tears starting to roll down his face.  He reached out and grabbed the coat, breathing in deep.  Citrus and eezo and vanilla.  

Zaeed wordlessly pulled him in close.  Kaidan rested his head on his shoulder, the coat squashed between him, finally allowing himself to let it all out.

Nothing about this was fair.

None of this should’ve happened.

Regis should be here with them.

Instead, all he has is a fucking jacket.

Shaking with sobs, Kaidan held onto Zaeed tightly. Zaeed rubbed his back, a comforting touch that grounded Kaidan. 

Like Regis, Kaidan rarely allowed himself to lose control or show weakness. The two of them fed off of each other, only letting go in the comfort of the other.  

If Kaidan didn't have Zaeed here, he may not have ever allowed himself to let go, needing the comfort of somebody else to ground him. 

His parents had been great through all of this, expecting a visit while he's here on Earth.  He’s glad he has them, but it’s not enough right now.

But one day, it will be.

He wondered if Zaeed had lost someone close to him before in his long life as a merc. He understood what Kaidan needed in the moment, never questioning, just being a strong presence and a soft place to land. 

Like what Kaidan wanted to be for Regis when he didn't want to be Commander Shepard.

Perhaps only a few minutes passed, but it felt like a damn eternity once he calmed down, face wet with tears and body filled with exhaustion. 

He pulled away as Zaeed eased up on his embrace. 

Zaeed cupped his face with a gentle grip, wiping away some of the wetness. "What do you need, Kaidan?" He asked, his voice strained, and Kaidan noticed that his eyes were red and damp with tears as well. 

God, they were a mess. 

"I need you, Zaeed," Kaidan said, letting go of Regis's coat, feeling like he's letting go of a chapter of his life. 

But that's what Regis would've wanted, never one to dwell much in the past and always focusing on the future and moving forward. He would want Kaidan to move on and allow himself to love someone he can trust, and Zaeed is right there. 

And perhaps that's all they needed to finally act on the feelings that's been brewing between them starting all the way back in Omega, starting the moment the three of them shared a bed together in the midst of a crazy battle against an angry vorcha mafia.  Zaeed leaned in and Kaidan met him halfway, kissing him slowly and softly and sweetly, letting out a content sigh as Zaeed ran a hand into his hair. 

Zaeed was the first to pull apart, placing his hands on Kaidan's leather jacket collar. "Why don't we wash up a bit?  I saw that the shower and bath was large enough for the two of us."

Kaidan nodded, letting Zaeed take off his jacket. "But we really do need to talk. Not just about us."

"I know. That old friend I mentioned?  I'm sure you're well aware of Steven Hackett."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow, stopping in the midst of taking off his sleeveless mock neck. "I'd like to know that story."

"We go way back," Zaeed waved it off. "But my point is, he wanted me to keep an ear close to the ground, and for me to be aware of the truth of the goddamn battle at the Citadel that you participated in."

"Meaning the Reaper threat."

He nodded. "Exactly, even if I don't fully understand it myself. Hackett's gathering allies unofficially, but there's still too much damn uncertainty.”

"Regis's mother gave me a heads up about Hackett wanting to meet with me."

"And is that going to include whatever the hell you're going to be getting up to next in the Alliance?"

"I'm going to become an N and be the first biotic in Regis's accelerated training program," he replied. "Finally doing the damn thing he's always wanted me to do." Kaidan couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of his voice. 

"Listen, I know he wanted the both of you to wear the red stripe together, but don't blame yourself for not wanting to go for it until now.  Would you have ever done it unless your hand was forced?" 

Kaidan looked away. "Probably not. I knew I could handle it, but it wasn't something I felt like I needed to do."

"But is it something you want to do now?  Or are you being forced into it?” Zaeed sounded concerned. 

“A bit of both.  They want me to finish what he started in the new biotic programs he was creating, while also being a trial run for his new programs,” Kaidan admitted.  

"As long as you show those bastards what you can do while staying true to yourself, that's all that matters." Zaeed threw his jacket and sweater over the bed. 

"I had a very similar conversation with Hannah."

"Then we might've gotten along," Zaeed mused. 

Kaidan shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. She and I've never been close, but that's mostly due to Regis."

"He was very tight-lipped about his childhood. Not great?"

"He never wanted to be a spacer kid."

"And he joined the Alliance anyway?"

"He did, but he did it on his own terms."

Zaeed chuckled. "I can see that." He crossed his arms against his bare chest, giving Kaidan a calculated look. "What is it you aren't telling me about him and space?"

Shit. 

Kaidan tossed his shirt on the bed, mingling with Zaeed's clothing. "The last thing Regis wanted was to die in space."

Zaeed widened his eyes. "Fuck."

"And I listened to it," Kaidan admitted, sitting back down on the bed. "I heard every last word, every breath he struggled to take, every plea he had for him to somehow not die in space."

“Wait, you heard him get spaced?  What really happened?”  Zaeed sat down next to him.

“We were hit by an attack from some kind of unknown ship.  Ripped us to shreds damn near instantly.  He ordered me to get off the ship while he grabbed our pilot.  He was able to get our pilot out, but not himself,” Kaidan summarized.  “Regis wasn’t going to leave anyone behind, but I knew all the details of his ‘disaster’ plans, and our pilot disobeyed his orders.”

“How so?”

“Regis was a bit of a pilot himself, at least, when it came to smaller ships and shuttles.  There’s a story I should tell you about the time when he was a teenager and stole a shuttle off his mother’s ship to get to Earth.” Kaidan cleared his throat.  “Anyway, Regis recognized when a situation couldn’t be helped, and wanted our pilot to get himself out alive because there were moments that no good piloting could save a ship.”

And the space above Alchera was one of them.

“Feel free to blast me across the room for even asking this, but do you blame ‘the pilot’ for not abandoning the goddamn ship when he had the chance?” Zaeed asked.

Kaidan laughed mirthlessly. "You read me too well."

"Part of the job. You don't have to answer." That's answer enough, was left unsaid. 

"No, I might as well tell someone else," Kaidan sighed. "We exchanged some heated words after the fact and we were all 'settled' back on the nearest Alliance station."

"What the hell happened, Joker? Why wasn't he with you?"

"There was another blast right when he got me in the shuttle."

"Did Regis have to drag your ass in the pod?  You knew he was going to come for you!"

Ashley came up behind him. "Kaidan—"

"Don't 'Kaidan' me!  He knew what the fucking plans were and still stayed put!  I don't care what you have to say Joker, Regis—"

"My piloting ensured as many of you could get the hell off the ship!  I know that Regis died while saving me, but don't go blaming me for something that I couldn't have controlled!"

"Couldn't have controlled?  No, you just couldn't stand being wrong about anything involving the Normandy!  But it doesn't matter anymore, now does it?  You might've saved the ship a few precious seconds, but Regis didn't get any!"

Ashley stepped between them, interrupting whatever Joker was going to say next. "This is not the time to be fighting!  God, it's a terrible day when I'm the fucking mediator. Joker, you knew what the orders were. Both of you, walk away before things get more ruined than they already are."

"You aren't going to call out Alenko for prioritizing his boyfriend over the rest of the crew?" 

Kaidan felt his biotic corona roar to life. "Go fuck yourself Joker and remember that Regis died for you!  He was never going to leave anyone behind!  And he chose you."

Zaeed listened to the story, never betraying anything with his expression about his own thoughts and feelings on the matter. 

"We haven't talked since, not even during the damn funeral.  All I've heard is that he's grounded now, and with his record, I'm not sure if he'll fly anything like the Normandy ever again," Kaidan finished. "I'm not proud of how I reacted, but I'm not yet ready to apologize for anything that I said."

"No need to defend yourself to me, but it sounds like you at least have a good friend there in that Ashley."

He nodded. "She tore me a new one, and I don't blame her for it. But I had to know."

"Regis once told me he felt like he finally found himself a home on that ship," Zaeed said after a short moment of silence. "Even if he did bitch about some of the crew."

"Like who?"

"That pilot you were talking about. Some of the younger Marines.  The asari you rescued," Zaeed listed off. "But he seemed to like everyone for the most part. Would've loved to see him in his element.  God, I should've brought out the goddamn whiskey for this talk."

Same group Regis would always complain to him about. Kaidan hadn't thought about T'Soni since the Saren mission, not really caring where she went after the battle of the Citadel. 

Regis prioritized her mission last, and he never really formed a bond with her in the same way with all the other crew members and ground teams on the ship. He saw her as a liability, and openly refused to let her meld with him. 

Honestly, Kaidan wouldn't have allowed it either if it were him in that situation. It still shocked him that Regis let Shiala in, but that was far more dire in comparison.  Especially since Regis was able to supply enough detail for T'soni to figure out where the Conduit lied purely from his descriptions. 

"There's still time."

"Nah, even I can admit that would've made things worse right now. It's too damn fragile right now."

To hell with it.

Kaidan leaned in and claimed Zaeed's mouth with his own, pressing in against him and making him fall back on the bed. Warm skin rubbing against each other, feeling every inch of the man underneath. 

A feeling he's yearned for again for too long. 

Zaeed made a pleased noise, one hand grasped in Kaidan's curls, the other slowly teasing down his front.  Kaidan joined his hand on top of Zaeed's, guiding him down to his zipper as he started to kiss down his neck. 

"Anything changed since our last encounter?" Zaeed asked, pressing lightly against his hardening cock. 

"No, not really," Kaidan said, hovering next to his ear. "But I've taken to an even greater liking to being in charge."

"That doesn't surprise me.  Want to order me around, be in control?" Zaeed chuckled, but his expression was serious. 

Kaidan pulled back slightly so he could face him. "No, not today." He maneuvered himself so that he was leaning against the pillows, switching their positions for the moment. 

It would be so easy to say yes, to claim and that semblance of control he so desperately wanted to have right now. 

But not yet. Not when things felt so delicate between them. 

Not when the ghost of Regis still lingered. 

Zaeed winked and pulled down Kaidan's zipper, yanking down his pants and boxers in one quick movement.  Kaidan gasped as Zaeed lightly took his dick in his hand before swallowing it down in one go.  

"Goddammit, Zaeed!" Kaidan moaned, barely keeping his hips from thrusting into his mouth. "Give me a warning next time."

Zaeed pulled off for a moment, kissing the tip before saying, "You like it that way."

He does, but he's not about to admit it. 

"Bastard," Kaidan said, moving his grip to tangle in Zaeed's hair, his biotic field coming to life in a bright blue.

Zaeed took him in, his cock hitting the back of his throat.  Kaidan let himself relax into the bed, gasping and letting out small noises as Zaeed worked him closer and closer to the brink. Oh, how he missed this.  Missed having this man in his bed. 

His corona stuttered, his hips starting to move with Zaeed's clever tongue and talented mouth. He made a pleased sound as he swallowed Kaidan down once more, pulling off right when Kaidan made a high-pitched whine, nearly about to come down his throat. 

"Not yet," Zaeed rasped. "I want you to come in me."

With a quick twitch of his fingers, Kaidan pulled the bottle of lube that sat on his nightstand. He sat it down on the sheets, raising an eyebrow at Zaeed and motioning down at his pants at his knees. 

"Use your words, Kaidan," Zaeed said, a grin tugging at his lips. 

Oh, he wants to play it that way?

"Finish what you started," Kaidan ordered, clasping his hands together behind his head. 

Zaeed pulled down his pants, tossing them on the floor.  “You look good in ink,” he observed, lightly tracing the branches that were inked on Kaidan's left thigh. The tattoo he got to mirror Regis's own tree on his right arm. 

Kaidan shuddered at the light touch. "I've been meaning to get more but never found the right piece."

“Let me know when you do.  I want to see it.”  I want to be part of it, Kaidan heard.

Zaeed then slowly ran his hand down his chest, lightly squeezing his nipples, palming his covered bulge, letting out a groan before he tugged down his pants, tossing them on the floor with the rest of the clothing.

Kaidan took a moment to stare at the man in front of him. Beautiful tanned and scarred skin, dark, thick line work covering his arm and his chest. The expression of pure pleasure gracing his face as Zaeed slowly stroked his cock, giving Kaidan one hell of a show. 

"Gorgeous," Kaidan murmured, crawling towards the man to claim his mouth, kissing him slowly, sliding their lips and tongues together, skin against skin. 

"No, you're the gorgeous one. How lucky am I to have you here with me?" Zaeed breathed against his mouth. 

"We can play this game all day, love," Kaidan replied, the endearment flowing out of him like water. "Because I can't believe you're here with me."

Zaeed started kissing down his neck, nibbling at the skin, leaving little marks down to his chest. 

It should feel too soon with everything that has happened, but it doesn't.  He felt nearly at home with Zaeed, a feeling he had with Regis. 

"I wanted to commit with him, I really did." Regis admitted, snuggled in Kaidan's arms a few days after they returned from Omega, resting in Kaidan's childhood home. Can't have extended shore leave without visiting the Alenko's. 

"Me too.  I always thought you were it for me, and I've never wanted for more. He was different," Kaidan said, pressing a kiss against the skull tattoo on the back of Regis's neck. 

"He felt like coming home, just like how you feel to me."

"That's exactly how I felt."

Regis laughed. "And that's how I know we are meant for each other. At least he gave us a way to keep in contact.  A private number of all things.”

"Maybe one day things will change, love."

"I imagine it won't as long as we're Alliance soldiers. It's not easy."

"No, it's not, but I didn't take him as the type that wanted 'easy.'"

Zaeed leaned back in the bed and slid his thighs apart, his erection flushed against his stomach.  Before grabbing the bottle, Kaidan waved his fingers, gathering dark energy to trail down Zaeed's chest, teasing at his nipples before jolting at his cock. 

Zaeed gasped in surprise, squeezing his eyes shut. "Fuck, Kaidan!  How the hell can you do that?"

"Lots of practice and my own high levels of control," Kaidan said with a smirk. "I can take you apart with just a wave of my hand." He flared out his corona to illustrate his point. 

Zaeed’s eyes darkened.  “Enough teasing.”

“Thought that was what you wanted?” Kaidan asked lightly, hitching Zaeed’s legs up and coating his fingers.  He reached down to tease at his hole, waiting for a response.

“Get on with it already, goddamnit!” Zaeed groaned.

“All you have to do is ask.”  He pressed one finger into his hole, and then another, taking his time to work open the tight, hot body.  Only meeting a little resistance, Zaeed must’ve been with other partners recently, but he implied he wanted it bare.

Kaidan trusted him, and he continued to work in a third finger, spurred on by Zaeed's heavy breathing and fists grabbing at his expensive sheets.  They’ve only fucked once, while Regis watched, tied up and desperate to be touched, only able to watch as the man he loved pleasured another.

It was a quick, hard, and fast thing, Kaidan pulling all the stops to press deeply into Zaeed, taking the merc down a few notches in the process.  Kaidan thought they would be two dominant personalities tangling and fighting against each other, united in their desire to make Regis feel good, but Zaeed surprised him with his occasional versatile taste.

That was a night Kaidan never wanted to forget.  Seeing Zaeed take care of Regis so readily after they finally turned their attention to him, and ensuring he got all the tactile love he needed once they were done with their scene.

A stark contrast to the hard-ass merc he portrayed on the outside.

Kaidan twisted his fingers once more, feeling Zaeed seize up with a deep groan. There it is. "You ready for me?" Kaidan asked, wiping his fingers on the sheet.

"Yes, Kaidan!" Zaeed groaned, voice full of gravel and lined with pleasure. 

Kaidan leaned in to cup his face and gave him a sweet, soft kiss that had Zaeed rolling his eyes but going pliant anyway. 

He slicked himself up and hitched Zaeed's legs over his shoulders, finally pressing into his hole.  Zaeed let out a long, deep groan, sighing as Kaidan bottomed out and bended Zaeed nearly in half, his flexibility nearly rivaling his own. 

They breathed together for a moment. Zaeed moved to grip onto Kaidan's arms.  His face broke out into a grin, and Kaidan took that a sign to move.

Kaidan fucked him in long, slow strokes, drawing out the feeling, enjoying forcing out whines and moans from the older man. 

Kaidan loved taking his lovers apart, bit by bit, until they were lost in pleasure. 

He took his own pleasure in the tight heat, letting go of his own control, meaning with Zaeed as he brought himself closer and closer to release, his corona shining bright in the dark room. 

With a flick of his wrist, he extended his barrier to envelope both of them, a trick he and Regis perfected in the heat of battle to help protect their non-biotic squadmates. 

It had its uses even beyond the battlefield. 

He watched as Zaeed's eyes glazed over, his mouth caught in a wordless moan as Kaidan fucked into him deeper and deeper, the electricity of his biotics creating a heightened sensation. 

Kaidan took hold of his cock, stroking in time with his thrusts, grinning as Zaeed got even louder. "I'm almost there," he grunted. "Come for me, Zaeed."

"Ah, fuck," Zaeed cried out as he finally had his own release, and Kaidan followed moments later, spilling deep in his hole with one last thrust, his biotics flaring out in a bright pulse, moaning Zaeed's name like a damn prayer. 

Still inside him, Kaidan lifted up his come covered hand and licked it clean, watching as Zaeed stared at him. "Fuck, you're unbelievable," Zaeed said, satiated, falling back against the pillows with a groan. 

Kaidan slowly pulled out of him, reaching for the box of tissues to clean themselves up, but Zaeed stopped him. "Not yet."

Kaidan shrugged and settled himself next to him, letting Zaeed wrap a tattooed arm around him. "Fine by me, but I'm getting up in a few to take the damn shower we were talking about earlier."

"I'll join you," he murmured. "I haven't been fucked that hard in a long while."

"You're welcome."  Kaidan grinned.

Zaeed grinned back, letting out a sigh.  “What’s next?”

“What do you mean?” Kaidan knew what he meant, but he wanted to hear it. No implications. Real communication instead. 

“What’s next for us?”

Kaidan turned on his side to face Zaeed.  “We—I always wanted more, whatever that may be.”

Zaeed closed his eyes.  “I wanted it too, but now with you going off to N training and me keeping an ear to the ground… it’ll be hard to make it work.”

“But doesn’t that mean it’s worth trying, however we define it?”

The words they should’ve said three years ago.  But it’s not too late.

“Friends with benefits ain’t enough.  That’s not what we are.”

“What are we, then?”

“You called me ‘love’ earlier.  And I liked it.  So…” Zaeed trailed off.

“Lovers, then,” Kaidan said.  “Whatever and wherever that may take us.”

Saying that felt like coming home.

But a small part of him still felt like it was a betrayal to Regis.  It shouldn’t, knowing what the man’s thoughts were on this kind of thing.

“I finally updated my will and put it on my omnitool.  It’s also stored on my private server, y’know,” Regis said before their mission, before they were stationed on the Normandy.  

Kaidan nodded.  “I remember, and I won’t forget.  Mine’s also been updated, just in case.” “And I hope nothing ever fucking happens.  I added something new for you.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Regis waved it off.  “Just a personal message.  I’ve always had one for you, but I’ve added a few things to it.”

“I’m not worried, just curious.  I’ve left a few messages for you and the family but haven’t updated them in a while.  You reminded me I should.”

“Nothing wrong with being a little curious.  Just hope you never have to listen to them.”

“And I hope the same for you.”

“Obviously,” Regis laughed, always able to make light of a situation like this, especially one that had felt so foreign and so impossible.  His expression suddenly grew serious, his red eyes staring Kaidan down.  “But I want you to know this: Don’t you dare prevent yourself from moving on.  I don’t give a shit when you do it, but don’t let your happiness die with me.”

Kaidan didn’t think it would be that easy but agreed anyway.  “I promise.”

“And that’s all I ask."

Kaidan had already dealt with the damn will with Hannah, not that there was much to it.  Regis was straightforward with that kind of thing.  Most of his assets went to Kaidan, leaving a few various things and monetary amounts going to his mother, his uncle, and some even to Kaidan’s family.  A few weapons and other items he kept stored planetside went to Zaeed, and they had already handled that as soon as they could.

He hasn’t yet listened to the message.

“Getting lost in your thoughts?” Zaeed asked, pulling Kaidan closer in.

“Thinking about something Regis said to me,” he admitted.  “He wanted me to find happiness, if something happened.  I kept wrestling with myself about this whole thing, but…”

“It’s what he would’ve wanted,” he finished for him.

“Or something,” Kaidan said, still not fully convinced, but here he was, enjoying the post-orgasmic glow with another man.  “There’s also a recorded video Regis left for me, but I can’t bring myself to watch it.”

“I can watch it with you?” He offered.  “Let’s wash up and take it one goddamn step at a time.

Kaidan nodded, and they untangled themselves from each other.  Kaidan offered a hand and guided Zaeed to the bathroom.

The water was warm and soothing, just what they needed.  Taking comfort in each other’s presence, touching and brushing against one another, but nothing more than a tease.  Just appreciating the intimacy in the moment, already satisfied with how their evening has gone.

Now in a warm pair of joggers and a sweater—Zaeed borrowing a pair from Kaidan despite them being a little too short for him—they curled themselves up on the couch in the living room, underneath a warm blanket.  Kaidan’s omnitool sat on the coffee table.

He took a deep breath and grabbed it, accessing their private server and entering in the information to access the video.

Regis appeared on the screen, clothed in his favorite black turtleneck, his dog tags hanging proudly around his neck, his father's ring gleaming in the light.  He looked at peace, despite the content of the video.  Kaidan wanted to look away from the perfect picture of his beloved, but he gathered enough strength to play the video.

“Kaidan, if you’re watching this, then I’m so fucking sorry that you’re in this situation.  That somehow I was able to get you out alive without covering my own ass, too.  Or something along those lines.” He laughed, and then cleared his throat.  “Not the damn time, Regis.” He muttered.

Kaidan thought he had nothing left, tears already dried up, but more threatened to fall.  

“I wanted you to know that I loved you so much, and I hope you are keeping Dad’s ring safe, whatever it is you decided to do with it.  Wear it, store it, whatever.  My mother kept vigil over it, then it was me, and now it has come to you.  I only wish I was able to give it to you myself, underneath that big appletree that you and I loved to sit under back home."

Regis considered Kaidan's family home. 

And that goddamn ring. He never even thought about the possibility of it being lost along with his fucking body. 

It haunted him nearly as much as Regis’s memory.

“I also hope you remember our conversation.  Take the time you need to grieve, but also remember to find happiness in whatever that may be.  Hell, we both know someone that I hope will be there for you.  So don’t worry about me haunting your ass for claiming what we both wanted, if that’s where that goes.” Regis shook his head, a small smile gracing his face.  “Shit, tell Massani directly that I will haunt his ass if he doesn’t keep an eye on you for me.”

They were all such idiots, weren't they?

They could've made it work, but none of them wanted to be the one to make that brave first step. 

Kaidan paused the video, wiping his eyes and reaching for the box of tissues on the table, setting it between them. Zaeed yanked a few out of the box, tossing him some whole keeping some for himself. "We were such fucking idiots."

"No shit," Kaidan wetly laughed, pressing play again.

"Just… live for yourself Kaidan, and not for me. Hell, I've probably given you some impossible promises already, but all I ask is for you to be able to move on.  If that means leaving the Alliance or following in my footsteps or whatever, then so be it. I want you to live. That's all I've ever wanted, even since the day I met you back at BAaT. I never thought I would find something so good and so precious there, despite everything." Regis laughed, and it was like music to his ears. 

"All this to say, I love you. And this video is asking you to let me go.  This is Regis Lucian Shepard, signing off.” He touched the screen with his hand, as if he was caressing a face, before it went dark.

Regis knew him too goddamn well.  Of course he did.  Ten years of a relationship… becoming friends at BAaT… a long history.

He knew Kaidan would struggle with his own feelings and gave him an out.  No questions asked. 

Kaidan turned off his omnitool and let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. 

They laid together on the couch, in each other's arms, in the silence of the apartment, letting the message sink in. Zaeed laced his fingers with Kaidan's, squeezing with reassurance. 

A message pinged on his omnitool before he could fully gather his thoughts.

Kaidan activated his tool once more to see that it was a message from his mother.  He checked the time and realized it was close to the time he promised to call. 

"It's from Mom," Kaidan said, clearing his throat. "I was supposed to call her, but I got, uh, distracted."

"Need me to get up for a bit?" Zaeed asked, not making any sort of move to get up.

Kaidan shook his head. "No, unless you'd be more comfortable not being in the vid call.  I don't want to hide what we have."

"Sure, I'll stay.  It's been a while since I've met the parents," Zaeed replied but sounding hesitant. 

Kaidan glanced up at him.  "Uh huh. You have nothing to worry about. Mom will understand."

"I am not worried."

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Massani."

He hovered over the call button, studying Zaeed's expression. When he smiled slightly, Kaidan took that as consent and started the vid call. 

He should probably move to where he wasn't lying on his chest, arms still wrapped around him, but he didn't want to leave his comfort just yet.

His mother's face appeared on the screen, all warm smiles and a positive presence. "Kaidan!  I was beginning to worry that you forgot!  Am I interrupting something?" She greeted, her expression turning concerned. 

"No, not really.  It's just been a rough day, Mom, and there's someone I want you to meet." He transferred the call to the larger screen in the living room. "Mom, meet Zaeed Massani."

"Well, it's nice to meet a friend of Kaidan's, or shall I say something more?  You might want to adjust your turtleneck some, sweetheart, you got a little something…" she motioned with her hand to a spot underneath his chin, and Kaidan immediately felt his face warm up. "I'm just teasing. Now, tell me, how did you two meet?  There's a familiarity I see between you that reminds me of Kaidan and…" she trailed off, looking away. 

"You can mention him, Mrs. Alenko," Zaeed said before Kaidan could say anything. "The three of us go way back. I just happened to be in the area when Kaidan gave me a heads up that he was heading to Earth.  Sorry for interrupting your time."

"Ah, it's not a problem.  I'm happy he has someone to confide in during all this. It's still very soon, you see, Regis became a member of our family the day they returned after their biotic training.  And it's Aurelia, Zaeed. Such a gentleman," she gushed. "Way back, you say?  Tell me the details you're willing to share."

"Met them while they were on shore leave three years ago. We became quite close," he said, keeping the story simple, but not quite revealing how close they got.

Kaidan squeezed his hand. "And by close, he means that the three of us entered into a relationship for a short time.  We stayed friends after Regis and I had to get back to the Alliance."

He could tell his mother knew he wasn't telling her everything by the calculated look in her eye, but she seemed satisfied enough with the response. 

He looked up to see Zaeed's look of surprise, his mismatched eyes wide. "What, you didn't think I would admit it?  I'm not ashamed of what we shared, and it's the damn truth."

"Now I see why you told me I had nothing to worry about," Zaeed muttered, causing his mom to laugh in response.

"We're not scary, just a bit overwhelming, I'm sure.  If you're up to it, we'd be happy to host you as well Zaeed.  We were planning on eating good food, getting drunk on the Alenko reserve, and honoring the memory of a beloved member of our family.  What do you say?" She asked, a welcoming smile on her face. 

"I'd like that a lot," he said. "If you'll have me."

Mom had already accepted him into the family.  Kaidan had a feeling she would, but that didn't mean he was looking forward to whatever conversation they were going to have when they were alone. 

"Of course!  It's just going to be a small thing, you know. Oh, and Kaidan, Adrian is going to be there.  Said he had something for you he wanted to tell you in person."

Zaeed raised an eyebrow, not recognizing the name. Kaidan cleared the air. "Regis's uncle, who also happened to be his father's twin.  Anyway, did he say what it was?  He hasn't said anything to me about it."

They've chatted a few times since Regis's death as one of the few family members Regis was actually close to.  Adrian was Regis's tie to earth and learning about his father from another source, and he cherished that relationship. 

In some ways, he was the hardest person to deliver the news to, barring his mother. 

"Not at all, but it got me curious.  Seemed a bit cagey too. All the more reason to get your asses over here so I can get to know you properly." She grinned. 

"Yes ma'am," Kaidan replied, rubbing his face. "At some point I might be called back for another meeting with the brass, but at least that will be held here in Vancouver."

"It never stops, does it?  I won't keep you long, now that I know you have company.  Take care, sweetie, and get some much-needed rest.  Home is just a call away." She said, waving. Kaidan waved back. 

"It was nice meeting you, Zaeed.  I look forward to getting to know you more!  Take care of my son for me, he needs to stop relying on himself too damn much."

Kaidan protested as Zaeed laughed. "That's what I'm here for. We both need to take care of each other."

"I'm happy to hear it.  See you soon!  I love you, Kaidan."

"See you soon. Love you too, Mom."

She waved once more before ending the call. 

Kaidan felt a little better after talking to his mom, feeling a bit more at peace even during the short talk. Almost always able to cheer him up and unafraid to call him out on his bullshit, his mother was always an easy message away. 

Kaidan cherished the relationship he had with his family, sometimes wishing Regis had a similar one. 

He remembered how out of his element he was when they were still teenagers and not yet in a relationship the first few times he brought Regis by. 

And his family had accepted him immediately, despite knowing the full story at BAaT. 

"I'll be honest," Zaeed admitted, "she wasn't what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?" Kaidan asked, pressing a kiss onto Zaeed's hand. 

So free with his affection, as that was what Regis always craved. Zaeed seemed to like it as well. 

"Hell, I don't know. More pushback on our whole… thing. Sorry about the marks," he replied, not looking sorry at all. 

Kaidan felt his face heat up again. "Mom's used to my shenanigans with Regis. He could be shameless sometimes."

"I'll behave."

"No, you won't."

"You're probably right." 

"I know I'm right."

"I'll let you win this one."

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "Anyway, what do you want for dinner?  I can arrange a grocery order, or we can order some takeout."

"Just order some goddamn takeout.  I know you're about to pass out on this couch." Zaeed said, loosening his embrace around Kaidan.  Kaidan rose up and sat down next to him, still bundled up in the blanket. 

"Will do."

They still hadn't addressed the video. 

"Even thinking about what Regis said in his video, it's still hard for me to just jump into something new," Kaidan admitted. "I want this, but I can't help but think about Regis nearly every step of the way."

"Shit, Kaid, I'd be worried if you weren't thinking about him. Hell, he keeps popping up in my head too," Zaeed said, his gravelly voice almost going soft. The nickname was new, and Kaidan let it roll around in his head, deciding that he liked it okay enough from him. 

"So, we'll take this one step at a time?" Kaidan said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"One step at a goddamn time," Zaeed echoed, pulling him into a hug. 

"I'd like that," Kaidan whispered. 

His omnitool pinged again. 

"You need to silence that damn thing," Zaeed said, grabbing off the table. Kaidan took it from him, pulling up the message. 

It wasn't from Alliance Command, but he recognized the writing style all the same. 

Lieutenant Alenko,

I hope your shore leave has served you well.  Give me a time you can meet and we'll discuss your future. 

Admiral Shepard has already warned you about this, I'm sure, but this is off the record, for now. 

Times are changing, and I want to be ahead of it. 

Admiral Hackett. 

Kaidan couldn't keep the incredulous expression off his face.  Never in a million years would he have expected an unofficial meeting with the man. 

He assumed from Hannah's warning that it was going to be the official version of the meeting he had with her. 

Not this. 

Zaeed was reading it over his shoulder. "You're welcome to mention me by name. Might throw the old bastard off."

"He's already got me at a disadvantage with this approach."

"Clearly it's something he doesn't want official channels to be completely aware of." Zaeed looked thoughtful, stroking his face and the stubble around his chin. "What kind of relationship would you say he had with Regis?  He's always been a ruthless bastard."

Takes one to know one.  Regis was never afraid to be ruthless.  Nor was Zaeed now that he thought about him. 

"Out of all the higher ups, Regis respected him the most and gave him the least amount of bullshit," Kaidan said, thinking back at all the requests he fulfilled for him.  

"I figured he would be someone Regis would get along with. He was never the type to trust easily."

"No, he wasn't." Kaidan agreed. "Which made gaining his trust and friendship a damn honor sometimes."

"Yeah, I know. Hell, Steven was the same.  What are you going to say to him?"

Kaidan will have to poke at the first name basis thing later. 

"I'll answer and say I can meet tomorrow morning, and let Mom know that I have Alliance business to take care of before we head down."

"Sounds good, but something tells me you should bug Regis's uncle and see what he wants to tell you.  Sounded too important for some reason," Zaeed said, tilting his head to the side. "Can't explain the feeling I have but you know how it is."

"Yeah, I'm well aware."

Kaidan typed up a reply. 

I can meet tomorrow morning.  What time and where?

A reply came in moments later. 

0800.  Meet me in my office. 

Huh. 

"Meeting's secure. Wants me to meet him at HQ," Kaidan said. 

"Technically I met him outside HQ, and we caught up over drinks at a local bar. It got serious after the fact," Zaeed said. "So, I can't help you there."

Kaidan really wanted to know more about that friendship. 

"At least drive me there. Chances are he'll have feelers out and it'll be a surprise," Kaidan laughed, mostly to shake off his nerves about the meeting. 

He didn't think it was going to be anything bad.  Hell, he had a feeling it was going to be about the N path all over again with a dash of Regis. 

But a small part of him has a feeling it was going to be something far more than that. 

And that worried him. 

"Sure. Always happy to be a meddler."

Kaidan looked back down at his omnitool, scrolling through his contacts until he stopped on Adrian's name. "Want to meet another family member?"

He shrugged, settling back down on the couch.  "Might as well."

Kaidan leaned against him and sent Adrian a vid call request.  A few moments later, he answered. 

He appeared on the screen, curly hair pulled into a bun with shaved sides.  Kaidan could see where Regis got his most striking features from.  The dark hair, the pale skin, and the hard-set jaw framed by a beard. 

Regis's smile and eyes were directly from Hannah herself, although he once admitted to Kaidan that he got gene mods to change his eyes to red so he wouldn't have his mother's eyes anymore. 

He had the most striking green eyes back at BAaT. Hell, it was one of the first things he noticed about him.  

The red suits him better.  Suited him better.

"Hey, Kaidan. Aurelia told me about your call. Guess you just couldn't wait to hear me out in person?" He chuckled. 

"Not exactly. I'm meeting with an admiral tomorrow and my partner told me I should go ahead and talk to you," Kaidan explained. "This is Zaeed, an old flame of Regis's and mine. We reconciled."

"As in Massani?" he whistled. "Damn, Regis was holding out on me."

"How did you know that?" Zaeed asked, narrowing his eyes. 

Adrian didn't even blink. "Don't think anything bad of it. My partner, Vikram, knows of you."

Zaeed instantly lightened up. "Good ol' Vikram, how's that old bastard doing?  I guess they're still doctoring in Omega?"

"Yeah, much to my displeasure.  They're in their matriarch years and I kept thinking they would settle down by now, but nope. They've only mentioned you by name a few times, so I recognized it. Don't worry, I've heard mostly good things." Adrian explained. "So, partners, eh?"

Kaidan blushed. "Yeah, uh, we decided to give it a chance."

"I'm happy for you, truly. Regis would've wanted you to move on, and since he's a mutual of yours… I guess that worked out well for you." He sighed, scratching at his beard. "So, I wanted to tell you something Vikram told me.  Vikram has quite a few ties in Omega, mostly because they're a damn good samaritan and people respect them and their services. But also because they have an in with Afterlife, and they hear things."

Kaidan sat up, resting his elbows on his legs and leaning forward. "What does this have to do with me?"

"I'm getting there.  They saw an asari you are quite familiar with, T'Soni, working with a known Shadow Broker agent."

"Fucking risky business," Zaeed spat. 

Kaidan shook his head, rubbing his temples. "Are you one-hundred percent sure?"

Why the hell would T'Soni be working with the Shadow Broker?  Hell, she was as green as a damn recruit fresh out of high school when it came to combat experience. He couldn't deny that she had biotic power, but it lacked the finesse of theirs.  Plus, Kaidan thought she was a bit naive about the world.

Regis argued she had no place on board the ship after they rescued her and got the information they needed.  His request was denied.

"Her markings aren't exactly common, and Vikram is well aware of current events, so I would say yes. Now, they have no idea what their meeting was about, but they told me about it anyway thinking that I could let Regis's crew know," Adrian said, clasping his hands together on the table. "I'll poke their brain again and see if they've learned anything new, but they did tell me they weren't afraid to leverage one of their favors with T'Loak if it meant getting to the bottom of this business."

Zaeed glanced over at Kaidan. "How serious do you think this situation is to warrant using something like that?"

"Regis was never close with her, but I always got the impression T'Soni had a bit of a crush or infatuation on him after our rescue. He shut her down hard as soon as he could when it came to her dealing with his visions," Kaidan explained. "She was never with us long enough to be a part of much of anything."

"Interesting to know. I'll pass it on to Vik and see what they think."

"Thanks, I don't want to be the one to decide something like that. I understand what those favors are," Kaidan said. 

"You would, being in bed with Massani," Adrian chuckled.  When Kaidan didn’t laugh, he held up his hands in surrender. "Sorry, too soon?"

Kaidan waved it off, even if the comment did bother him some. "We met Zaeed while on Omega. You can put two and two together, Adrian."

"I sure can… tell me that story one day over drinks.  Anyway, I won't keep you unless you have more questions?  It's a fucked situation either way, and I don't like it." 

"No, I think I'm good, for now. Let me know immediately when you hear back," Kaidan said. 

“Of course.  Something about this whole thing is giving me a bad feeling, and really, the least I could do is tell you directly to see if you shared similar thoughts.  I won’t keep you.” Adrian said, expression growing serious.  “Take care of Kaidan, you hear me, Massani?  He’s my damn son-in-law in everything but name.”

“I’d rather take another goddamn bullet to the head than hurt him,” Zaeed said sincerely, wrapping an arm around him.  “You have my word.”

Kaidan was sure he was looking at him with such a besotted expression despite everything.

“Good.  I look forward to seeing y’all on the Alenko property.  Be safe out there.” He waved and hung up the vid call.

Kaidan stared at the empty vid-screen, trying to take in everything that he had learned today.  Zaeed and Admiral Hackett had some kind of history.  T’Soni had gotten herself involved with the Shadow Broker, which presented itself as a possible security threat to the Alliance.  Hackett wanted to meet with him personally and in what appeared to be in an unofficial capacity to some extent. 

Regis wanted him to move on so earnestly. 

It was all too much to take in, and he didn’t have enough time or energy to handle everything at once.

Kaidan let out a yawn. "It's been a long day.  And honestly, I don't have much of an appetite." He said, thinking back at their earlier conversation. 

"Well, I'm hungry, and I'm going to order us a couple of pizzas and breadsticks, and you are going to enjoy it with me," Zaeed said with a tone that left no room for an argument. 

"Yes sir," Kaidan replied, enjoying the smirk that formed on his face. 

While Zaeed busied himself with ordering their food off of a suggestion from Kaidan, he took a moment to throw the bedding in the wash, changing it out for some fresh ones.  He also straightened up the guest room, just to have something to do, but he hoped it wouldn't get any use while they were here. 

The food came soon enough, and they settled back down on the couch, eating a few slices each and enjoying each other's company. 

After they were finished, Kaidan cleaned up after them and put the leftovers in the fridge. "I need to get my uniform ready for tomorrow, and then I'm getting some sleep," he said, leaning against the counter. 

"Have you decided what you're going to tell him?" Zaeed asked, leaning on the counter next to him. 

Kaidan shrugged. "I'll let him know that I know you. I'll give him a heads up on the T'Soni situation, and I'll read Hannah into it as well.  We'll see where it goes from there."

"He wants an edge on whatever the hell is going on."

"But he can only do it off the record.  With the new council dismissing any claims contrary to what they claimed happened at the Battle of the Citadel, there isn't much we can do.  Regis believed in the Reaper threat in the end, and after what I saw, I believe it too."

Zaeed shook his head. "Steven seemed to believe it as well if he was willing to tell me about it."

"Regis kept his visions tight-lipped. Hell, he was absolutely furious when Anderson brought them up in the first council hearing about Saren.  But once we saw Sovereign on Virmire, that solidified it for all of us," Kaidan explained. "You've heard the reports.  It, along with the geth, took out the Destiny Ascension with no trouble."

"And the Alliance saved the day.  I have to ask, who made that call knowing the council was on board?"

"Regis did.  Ash and I were by his side when we got the distress call from the Ascension, and the call for the Fifth Fleet. He held back the Alliance fleet so they could focus on Sovereign," Kaidan said. 

“Goddamn.” Zaeed whistled.  “One hell of a choice.”

“He’s had to make too many of those.” Kaidan muttered. 

"Won't disagree with you there." 

Kaidan yawned again, which prompted Zaeed to start heading towards the bedroom.  He followed him and stepped into the bathroom to do his usual nightly rituals. 

But it wasn't the same.  Not without Regis butting in to take over the mirror while Kaidan was in the middle of something or them sharing their favorite moisturizer and skin care products. 

There were even a few of Regis's piercings still inside their case on the bathroom counter.  

After Kaidan was done, leaving Regis’s things where they were for now, he left the bathroom to see Zaeed already stripped down to his boxers.  Zaeed squeezed his shoulder as he moved past him, and Kaidan leaned into the touch.

He took a moment to check his messages before going to bed.

Right at the top was one from Ashley, sent about an hour ago.

ASH: You said you were heading back to Earth, made it safely there?

KAIDAN: Yeah, been here for hours now.  Caught up with an old friend, and I’m going to visit my family later. 

ASH: Glad to hear it, LT.  Say, does that old friend happen to be the same one you and Regis were telling me all about? KAIDAN: Maybe.  What if it is?

ASH: Just want you to be happy.  I mean, I’m not into older men, but I can see why you two were so interested.  I’m sorry to hear that this was how you reunited.

KAIDAN: It’s alright.  We’re dealing.  And well… Zaeed’s different.  It’s been good seeing him again.

ASH: Oh, is he with you right now?

KAIDAN: Maybe… 

ASH: Hope I’m not interrupting anything ;)

KAIDAN: Nah, we’re just getting ready to get some sleep. Guess who has a meeting with Admiral Hackett in the morning.

ASH: Shit… Wonder what that’s going to be all about?  Your N training stuff?

KAIDAN: Probably, and then some.

ASH: Good luck.  Hopefully we can be N training buddies :D but something tells me they have bigger plans for you.

KAIDAN: Of course.  Regis more or less made sure of it with his biotic training plans.

ASH: Still looking out for you even in the afterlife.

KAIDAN: Yeah, I guess he is.  I’m going to finish what he started.

ASH: Good.  Well, I won’t keep you.  Get some sleep.

KAIDAN: I’ll try.

ASH: I guess that’s all I can ask.  Good night!  Don’t be a stranger.

KAIDAN: Night, Ash.  And same to you.  I’m always here.

ASH: And so am I.

“Must be something nice if it’s got you smiling like that,” Zaeed said as he walked into the bedroom.

“Just talking with Ashley.  We’ve been checking up on each other as best we can,” Kaidan replied.

“I’ll need to meet her at some point.  Get to know that soldier Regis was always telling me about.”

“Regis loved her, and you know I don’t say that lightly,” Kaidan said, pulling back the covers. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen him trust someone so easily after you.”

“A high honor, then.” Zaeed crawled into the bed, settling down next to him.  “Where do you want me?”

“Still trying to get me to order you around?”

“You know you love it.”

“Maybe I do.  I appreciate you checking in on me.”

“Of course, no goddamn thanks needed.  Only way we’ll make this work.”

Kaidan nodded.  “Well, if you insist on me putting you somewhere, I want you to hold me.”

Kaidan was almost always the big spoon when he and Regis were together.  Regis loved being held, even despite the small height difference between them.  

Regis enjoyed putting a lot of things in Kaidan’s hands.  Loved relinquishing control to someone he trusted.  Loved stepping down from his role as Commander to just Regis.

“Granted.” Zaeed said, kissing the back of his neck before wrapping arm around him, pulling him in close.  

Kaidan allowed himself to relax in his touch, taking slow, deep breaths, willing his active mind to slow down.

To stop thinking so damn much about Regis.

Kaidan doubted that would ever happen.  Those soft smiles, fierce red eyes… his judgemental attitude and confident aura… his sense of style and love for showing off.

No, Regis would always be with him.  BAaT ensured it.  The Alliance ensured it.

Their damn biotics ensured it.

Now, Kaidan needs to keep his memory safe and remember him as Regis Lucian Shepard.

Because the galaxy will remember him as Commander Shepard, Butcher of Torfan, first Human Spectre, and Savior of the Citadel.

Not as Regis.

#mass effect #kaidan alenko #regis shepard #zaeed massani #cleric's writing #mass effect fanfiction

[besidesitstoowarm]

"The Voyage of the Damned" thoughts

put this off forever bc i didn't want to see it. in the end it was fine even if i keep mixing the title up with "planet of the dead"

ten slaying in his tux-with-converse look that had the 2007 girlies in a chokehold. troy bolton wears the same thing in high school musical 3 btw. if you even care. he gets interested in the angel statues that to me look like craghas "crabfeeder" drahar from hit hbo drama "house of the dragon". do you think the doctor would support the greens or the blacks

we meet max capricorn who is the most "john waters from wish" looking person i've ever seen. and max capricorn as a name sounds like a discount drag name. i like that everyone is wearing 10s-20s era clothing, the mix of titanic-era set dressing with typical sci-fi machinery actually blends really nicely. the two "low class" contest winners are in cowboy clothing which i also like since a lot of the nouveau riche around the turn of the century were oil millionaires from out west (in america anyway). they seem extremely nice and i would love to hang out at a buffet with them

the doctor flirts with kylie minogue, who actually does a really good job in the role, she's very wide-eyed and charming and the character felt fully realized. doctor who is really good at one-offs. he offers a "brand new sky" and she takes it and off to london where we meet WILFRED MOTT, MY GRANDDAD!!!! i completely forgot he was in this one. i screamed "GRANDDAD" when he appeared and scared my bf

the captain is on a suicide mission and apologizes to alonso. i have never seen alonso's actor in anything but he looks so familiar. the actor is gay btw. i loved the captain's "they promised me old men" speech, he's dying and needed the bribe money to take care of his family once he's gone but he was trying to limit the collateral damage to his crew ASTEROID ATTACK

we learn that the doctor is 903 years old. i think this is the first time his age is stated? nine had the whole "900 years of time and space" but i'd assumed he was just rounding. does he celebrate his birthday? i love the idea that he has no idea how old he is and is just guessing. the second doctor was canonically ~450. anyway they're trying to navigate the ship and the cowboy couple try to repair a broken angel bc they were like mechanics back home. i think it's interesting that in sci-fi, robots are stuff for poor people

cyborgs were recently granted rights and "can even get married" which is nice for them. the doctor says "you should see me in the morning" and astrid says "okay" and he looks like he stuck a fork in a socket. they're both sooo down bad this ep. i'd like to have seen her as a companion for a few episodes, adam-style except adam sucked and astrid is cool

max capricorn is a head in a jar. i'm not kidding that this is the exact same twist as the movie "prometheus" did ridley scott steal that from this episode?? it's the same goddamn thing. that movie was awful. i rejoiced when astrid killed him with a forklift, barbara-style (running over bad guys is always barbara-coded for me). the doctor brings the tour guide professor to london cause he's a millionaire on earth and he just like. cries with joy cause he can have a HOUSE with a DOOR and a GARDEN and DISHES and wow he's just like me fr. he refuses to take him with him cause he "travels alone" tenth doctor voice what kind of time lord takes a companion you can't fuck

this episode was in memory of verity lambert who had recently died when it was released. i had no idea who she was last time i saw this episode so i never noticed that. always famous to me verity <3

#DW s4 #The Voyage of the Damned #doctor who #besides its too rewatch #Christmas special

[mvsicinthedvrk]

Was that [MACKENYU]? Oh no no, that was just [KAUL HILOSHUDON], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [THE GREEN BONE SAGA]. They are [TWENTY SEVEN] years old, use [HE/HIM], and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

the first book of this series is 500 pages long and i read it in mostly one sitting; when i say these characters have a chokehold on me i am not exaggerating sadly. that being said, this is kaul hiloshudon, aka hilo, and there are minor spoilers under the cut for jade city book 1

how long has your character been here

he's been here maybe a handful of days at most. still trying to get his bearings here.

what is your character’s job

uhhhhh yeah so being that he just showed up, hilo doesn't have an official job, but obviously he's going to try to establish No Peak here as well, who gives a fuck if this is dc and not kekon he can't not do what he can to reestablish the clan

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom

the end of book 1, jade city, just after his falling out with anden

has any magic affected your character

nope, all of his jade-given abilities are still in play, and he has all of his memories up through where i pulled him from.

and any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know:

basically, for those of you unfamiliar, the green bone saga is about warring clans in a city on an island called kekon, set in ambiguously modern day but not so modern that they have cell phones. think like 70s/80s rival gang vibes.

hilo's from the kaul family, the heads of No Peak clan. his grandfather was the Pillar (the clan leader), and since his father had died, hilo's older brother lan became the Pillar. hilo acted as the Horn, who was in charge of military operations in the clan, the head of defending their areas of the city and protecting the businesses of their investors and supporters. basically, he was the head of the brawn of the operation, not really involved in or experienced with the politics of it all

SPOILERS TW: after his older brother lan's untimely death, hilo is left to become the Pillar, a position that he's certainly not as comfortable with, but which he takes because of his dedication to his family and to No Peak. he is also out for revenge against the rival clan that contributed to his brother's death, and wants to-- if not destroy them completely, then at the very least make sure his own clan doesn't fall at their hands.

he's a very skilled fighter, in part due to his skill in wielding jade, which helps enhance a variety of abilities (Lightness, Strength, Channelling, Deflection, Perception, etc). in kekon, when you beat another green bone, you can rightfully take their jade and add it to your own collection; hilo embeds his pieces of jade into the skin of his collarbone.

personality information: his sheer passion is what stands out most-- his passion for defending his family and for defeating his enemies, especially. he's equally passionate about violence and love. he can be charming if he wants to be, but can be just as aggressive and abrasive and he tends to be incredibly impulsive if not held back. he says he'll forgive you, but he'll also forget he said that two weeks later, because he really won't ever get over any perceived slight or betrayal; he's very sensitive and will take offense to almost anything. he's described as believing he loves his family more than they love him. he attempts to do right by those who are loyal to him.

in terms of plots, possible ideas for connections: definitely business associates, he'll be very boldly offering the protection of his one-man clan lmfao, he'll also need neighbors, some kind of friends he can get along with, people to train/practice fighting with, people to genuinely butt heads with, people who will encourage him to give into his impulses, people who can try to help him make some better/more thoughtful decisions, all sorts of options for plots and connections.

#;; kh ;; #;; kaul hilo: intro ;; #spoilers tw #green bone saga spoilers tw #death mention tw #violence mention tw #hw: intro