#the painting on my desk

[shardsofswords]

The painting on my desk

So, in september of 2021, I went to a fantasy festival and bought a painting. It was by Paul Yperman, a french artist who attends multipe of these kinds of festivals and events all throughout europe and whose work i've been a fan of ever since i first saw it, on that same festival years earlier.

Here's some of his work (and his facebook https://www.instagram.com/ypermanpaul/?hl=en from what i know he sells his work online too, through facebook. So if you live in europe i highly recommend it)

As a younger teenager i'd bought the cheapest item in his shop, a small framed painting on paper, about a5 size, it cost about 10 euros at the time. It stil stands in my childhood bedroom, on my desk. But this time, i was older, i'd had a parttime job or a while, and i could afford an actual canvas piece.

My handbag was my grandmother's old one, she had jsut died and this was the first time i'm using it after my grandfather gave it to me. its smell reminded me of her. it had two facemasks in it that smelled like her too. I wore one, even though that's probably not hygienic. I gave the other one to a stranger who forgot his and couldn't enter the bus without one. It wasn't covid that killed her, it was probably fine. Maybe. When the smell faded i kind of regretted giving that second one away.

There was a painting in my grandparents' house of an old traditional windmill in their town that doens't exist anymore. My grandmother loved windmills, my father told me on the day of her funeral that she was delighted when the town they moved to, my childhood home, was in walking distance of more than 5.

It took me more than 20 minutes to choose a painting of Paul Yperman to buy. I'd wanted this for so long, and they're also beautiful. i'd gotten it down to two when i saw something in the corner of my eye. This one had a windmill on it.

That's the one i bought.

I carried it back home with me wrapped in paper, put it on my lap in the train and bus (it was tall enough that i could not see past it when i did that) and watched my every step, scared to death that something would happen to it.

It got home unscathed. but, because i was renting my student appartment, and didn't know if i was allowed to drill any holes in the walls, and didn't have anything for alternative options on hand, I didn't hang it, just unpacked it and set in on my desk, which was also my dining table, against the wall.

And it stayed there. I learned i was allowed to drill in the walls, and it stayed there. I discussed methods and placements with my parents, and it stayed there. I ate my dinner carefully to not splash any food or grease on it. It stayed there. I failed every single exam i took that year, and it stayed there. Like a momument to my executive dysfunction. Can't study, flake on the sport lessons my parents are paying for until the trainers text me worried if somethign happened to me (I don't answer. I don't tell my parents either.) don't hang the painting. I end the year technically allowed to continue my study, because in my country's system after you pass your first year you can take however long you like, but when i tell a study advisor i'm considering switching he tells me that's a good idea, because clearly this isn't working.

So i move back home, i go to a school that's only a one hour trip away, just short enough to make every day. I'm too scared to completely give up and don't officially move out of the appartment, just hire it out to another student. So all the furniture stays. But the painting comes home with me.

I ruin it immediately, i fail my first period at my new study so bad it is now by all accounts impossible for me to pass the whole year. I never actually unregistered from the old one, unable to let go, as i said. That turns out to have been the right decision. The student who was renting my room finds another place, I move back in. I'll have to make it work, somehow.

I pass my first exam there, i just barely fail the second, but last year for that very same exam i sat at my table for half an hour before turning in an empty answer sheet and leaving without making eye contact with the examinator, so let's call it an improvement. My therapist when i came in last time told me i was noticably more relaxed and comfortable.

I'm eating my dinner and wondering why, when everything is going much better than last time, does cooking and eating feel less fun.

And I look up and I realize

The painting stayed back home.

I convinced my mom to hang it in our living room a short few weeks before i stopped lying to her and admitted i was failing.

I am staring at my wall and i realize that i didn't look at it at all when i went back this weekend. For all that I hated myself for not properly hanging it up and what that meant about me whenever I saw it, it was a really beautiful painting. One i'd been planning for a full year to buy. One that i loved, that made eating my dinner alone less lonely.

Before it was on the living room wall back in my childhood home, it was back in that same old paper packaging i carried it home in ( I never actualy threw that away) standing in a corner of my bedroom. That exact space is now occupied by two old paintings from my grandparent's home. One of them is the one with the windmill. My grandfather isn't alive anymore either. They died 8 months apart. He wasn't there to offer me anything of his so from the attic i took an old school diary from his student days, where half the pages were falling out. And the paintings, of course. Since then, i've taken up bookbinding.

I am still looking at my empty wall.

I'd considered hanging it above my bed last year, to make the wall i saw first thing in the morning a bit livelier.

I've changed my mind. I want to hang it right above the my desk. With the other painting of the windmill next to it. they'll clash, the colors don't fit together. I don't care.

I'll have to make it work, somehow

#writing #my writing #personal #autobiographical #short story #a bit of a short story a bit of an obituary and a bit of an art recommendation #the painting on my desk #if you buy paul yperman's art you too can have a transcendent experience of grief for your grandparents and wasted youth! #while managing to find love and beauty in it eventually anyway

[floweroflaurelin]

Huevember day 15: Deep Frost

The dungeon is ready for its next victim. ❄️✨❄️

#huevember #huevember 2023 #tango tek #hermitcraft #decked out #hermitcraft fanart #tangotek fanart #hermitblr #hermitcraft art #hermitcraft tango #hc tango #deep frost citadel #decked out tango #decked out 2 #floweroflaurelin art #mcytblr #mcyt fanart #mcyt #I cant WAIT for my decked out desk mat to arrive :D #the painting I made for it has been my desktop background this whole time

[time-woods]

Art/desk setup?

artistic rendition of my desk aka my insanity domain

this was actually good practice for drawing from life- its just a doodle but still. my tablet lives on the little shelf under my desk but i put it up where my keyboard is when im using it and i just slide it under where my monitor is. also shoutout to my disco lights

#asks #yes i do have a gamer setup just for art (mainly) i do also play games but a good pc really does help out for art- #my desk also deserves a shoutout hes a lovely guy that i found on the side of the road #theres a lot of other stuff also on my desk like my paint markers and sculpting tools and jewelry and more frogs but yaknow

[mellonfish]

#watercolor #the owl house #toh #toh collector #the collector #spill paint and watch is fun #my desk is mess btw

[la-brielle]

"I'd take a knife to my chest if you were the one who held it" .

alt versions undercut

separated em for funzies

#desert duo #3rd life #grian fanart #gtwscar fanart #another art that was sitting on my desk for too long #it was a nice painting practice tho #bro they will never leave my head would they? #i jus cant stop thinking about their dynamic and the tragedy of 3rd life's ending #btw I've started working on another animation! guess what it's about :_) #(its about them obv) #art tag

[mspaint-flower]

would you like a cup of vflower

#vflower #v4 flower #v4flower #vocaloid #vocaloid flower #my art #ms paint #i don't know how you're supposed to drink that #or you can just leave it chilling on your desk

[myhoneststudyblr]

04|09|2023

I have officially moved back to uni and into my new room. ngl carrying all my stuff up 3 flights of stairs almost destroyed me

#my notes #notes #studyblr #studyspo #study notes #study motivation #knife gang #uni student #light academia #dark academia #paintings #art #desk decor #desk aesthetic

[aurosoulart]

Fly By Night

gouache & paint pen on watercolor paper

Patreon | Insta | Twitter | Ko-fi | YouTube | TikTok | Twitch

#art #artists on tumblr #watercolor #traditional art #painting #gouache #crow #birds #corvid #forest #night #stars #i painted this to hang on the wall next to my bf's desk!! #next i'm gonna paint some pink dolphins in space for MY desk #i am slowly but surely filling all wall space with art

[kayleerowena]

boo

#kaylee.art #gouache #painting #ghosts #horror art #i've been rly stuck in a rut art-wise lately so i decided it was time to experiment w mediums i dont usually use #i dont think ive taken my gouache set out of my desk drawer since college lmao. but it was fun to play around with

[claypigeonpottery]

I mixed that terracotta brown underglaze with yellow and white for the mushrooms, so I’m not entirely sure how it’ll look when it’s glazed but I think the effect should be good

and I like that the body hair looks kind of mossy, it suits the mushrooms and the vine tattoos

#please ignore the copious stickers on my desk #commission #pottery #coyote #coyote person #ceramics #underglaze transfers #underglaze painting #little dudes #video #clay sculpture #tattoos #nude art #queer art #trans art #artistic nude #queer #ceramic #mushrooms #greenware

[jenniferleecopping]

She was a Playboy, Brigitte Bardot She showed me things I didn't know She did it right there, out on the deck Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck

#chappell roan #the rise and fall of a midwest princess #red wine supernova #femininomenon #hot to go #my kink is karma #naked in manhattan #pink pony club #artists on tumblr #artistsontumblr #female artist #female artists #lgbt artist #lgbt art #bisexual artist #femme #femme lesbian #lesbian art #lesbian #lesbian singers #pop music #lgbt #queer artist #gouache #gouache paint #gouache painting #heart #pink #red hair #npr tiny desk

[fumiko-matsubara]

Marker doodle spread of the girls 🩷

#i already had this done since last month actually #but the colours weren't showing well on my phone camera bc of shitty lighting #so i held it off for a bit then painted over the Kaho doodle digitally later on and posted it #then i recently ordered this nice desk lamp that's really well-lit #and the colours turned out well on camera this time #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #assclass #nakamura rio #rio nakamura #tsuchiya kaho #kaho tsuchiya #kurahashi hinano #hinano kurahashi #hayami rinka #rinka hayami #my art #art #traditional art #my doodle #assclass ootd

[noxious-fennec]

Some lmanburs for your enjoyment (click for the quality tumblr messed up)

Bonus doodle, he fell asleep at his desk

#if you think the poses are weird blame paintings of napoleon #also i feel the need to clarify; im neither french nor am i trying to glorify the napoleonic era i just think the fashion was cool #in fact we should glorify cwilbur instead #im allowed to do that the french colonised my nation #my art #cwilbur #dsmp fanart #l'manberg #also the desk is not pictured cus i cant be fucked to bother #fennec.art

[narnour-momo-007]

Kiddies

#sam and max #sam and max freelance police #my art #narnour's art #some of these were made back in june but never got yhe chance to share them #finally sharing with the world my ms paint crap✨ #forth one is heavily inspired by that one girl I was sitting next to in 1st grade #she would eat papers pens glues and hand sanitizer gels and she would try to convince our classmates to drink their hand sanitizer too. #i never talked about it until she started eating the desk

[anachronic-cobra]

I think the fact that I'm attracted to every depiction of Lucifer where he's painted in a sympathetic light reveals deep-rooted issues in my mental state. With that said I need him bouncing and moaning on it

#from the desk of anachron #sky daddy issues #like #the show lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #i swear there was another one but I can't think of it off the top of my head #plus you know #every painting and statue of him ever #because the church keeps commissioning gays and getting mad when they make lucifer hot #religion tw #hazbin hotel

[honeybeeffdrawshere]

i like to think they kept in touch

#fanart tag #celeste game #granny celeste #digital sketch #theo celeste #character art #csp #clip studio paint #i dont think theres a tag for carlos rip #colored sketch #lots of room in these tags #i love drawing olds and i will continue to do so #as i draft this up my cat is on my desk trying to drink my dr pepper..........