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#there's probably a tag i should use to let people know im talking about stressful schoolwork but i dont know what it is
drowning-rat37 · 3 months
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☆ Mia/pvr9ing harm reduction and after care ☆
☆ps.- this is not tips on “how to do it better”, this is tips on how to not hurt your body too much while doing it. I am in no way suggesting anyone starts doing it, i am just saying if you are already doing it, try to stay safe❤️❤️❤️
☆anti-acids: if you’re planning to pvr9e, take a couple before you eat, it’ll reduce the acidity of your stomach acid, which in turn reduces the level of enamel loss and tooth decay as well as reducing the trauma on your oesophagus from the acid
☆short nails: if you use your fingers, keep your nails short to prevent scratching/cvtting your throat. Having short nails is also more hygienic as (even if you keep your nails clean) the underside of your nails can carry a lot of bacteria, (this is mainly found in children but has been known in adults) can carry types of worms under the nails. If you have long nails or false nails i recommend going on the utensil route
☆hand sanitizers or antibacterial soap: if you’re adamant that you don’t want to cut your nails short, clean under your nails thoroughly with hand sanitizer and wash ALL OF YOUR HANDS with antibacterial soap to avoid getting ill. Another thing to address about getting ill: you may think “if i get ill/sick then I won’t eat as much” or “i’ll be throwing up so no need for pvr9ing” in theory, great. In reality, it feels awful. I used to think that sort of way and then ever time i got ill i would feel like actual death, just stay clean and hygienic please🙏🙏🙏
☆water: after pvr9ing your body gets extremely dehydrated, make sure to drink enough water, also I recommend alkali water to reduce acid reflux. Take small sips every couple of minutes as to not make yourself feel more nauseous than you probably already are!!!
☆electrolytes: if possible, get yourself a drink with electrolytes or you can also get sachets that are sugar free and put that in water. In another post (i think i tagged it as an update post to a different post i have put a picture of some electrolyte water i bought, i really like that brand)
☆warnings: bl00d, feeling like you’re about to pass out, legs shaking, hands shaking. If you see any of those signs, take a break or stop all together, I’ll get into each signs in detail in a second.
☆utensils: if you’re not using your fingers, keep your utensils clean, weather its a toothbrush or cutlery or something different. Also please use something you know you can easily hold onto to prevent choking on it or letting go of it. If you’re using cutlery, find plastic cutlery, im not talking about the cheap flimsy ones, im talking about the thick type you can get from ikea or other places, make sure it’s rounded in the side you are putting in your mouth, again to not cause trauma to your throat. I can not stress this enough: use👏 something 👏 you👏 can👏 easily 👏 hold👏 on👏 to
☆tools: this is a follow up from the utensil. Please try not to use medication or other methods to induce vomiting, it is extremely dangerous. I have seen a lot of people (specifically on a certain clock app) talking about putting large amounts of salt in water and drinking it to induce vomiting, i can not stress this enough DO NOT DO THAT, it is so incredibly dangerous and by far the most unpleasant way to pvr9e. This is coming from someone who has tried almost ever way, including the salt method. It can cause long term health issues to consume that much salt even if you vomit it back up, there will still be a large amount left in your system which can lead to high blood pressure (which if you are pvr9ing often may already have) and generally if you are going to that extent to pvr9e, take a break from doing it, even if it is hard!!!!
☆food/chewing: make sure that what you’re eating before you pvr9e you chew really well, if you swallow large chunks, it will be hard to get up and you have a chance of choking and it will not be good and is very scary. Bread is especially hard to get up. Some foods should definitely be avoided, such as hard crunchy foods like tortilla chips/crisps, they are sharp once broken and in the time it takes for you to eat, then pvr9e, your body will not have broken it down enough and it WILL hurt coming back up. Try to stick to soft or quickly digest-able foods to avoid pain and trauma to the throat.
☆follow on to the warning signs ☆
☆Bl00d: if you pvr9e bl00d, genuinely stop, i know you might not want to but to avoid damage, stop. If it is anything above a few drops, I greatly suggest seeking medical attention asap. Give yourself a week or two to recover from that, it will be hard but it’s whats best for harm reduction!!!!(this is a very scary thing to experience, the first time it happened i was terrified however as you can see, i am alive, i didnt die although that still doesn’t mean you should just ignore it)
☆feeling like you’re about to pass out/ hands and legs shaking: believe me, you do not want to be found on the floor after pvr9ing. If you’re shaking, take a break, weather its 10 minutes or a couple days, take a break. If you feel shaky, that is a sign you are going to pass out, again, take a break. Sit down in a place you know you won’t hurt yourself if you do pass out, have a drink and rest for a moment!!! I know you don’t want to hear the “listen to your body bull shit” but in cases like this it is vital if you are genuinely trying to avoid permanent damage or injuries of any kind!
☆Thank you for reading, stay safe. My dm’s are open if you need help or advice. If you need to reach out to your local helpline don’t hesitate, you’re weak for reaching out for help!!! ☆
@mamabearwonders
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sad-leon · 9 months
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Hello! I hope you're having a good day!
So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!
I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!
I am... not.
and i haven't for a long time
I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings
I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.
I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.
and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse
those are just what i can think of off the top of my head
but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.
im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.
i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days
i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.
i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school
if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.
im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.
i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.
im so tired
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thisismyideaofhumor · 5 years
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cant believe i thought college would be more easy/fun than high school. i have an eight page paper due next week and I have to use a style I’ve never heard of and that our teacher expects us to figure out by ourselves. i should have started sooner. im gonna have to fucking sit down and read a 300 page style guide i guess.
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tastyykpop · 3 years
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𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-Final
Pairings: jaemin x reader
Genre: smut, fluff (mostly at the end but it's short 🤠)
<previous>
Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, punishment, overstimulation, edging, face slapping (literally slaps her once), choking (wOw iM sO sHocKeD), hair grabbing, degradation, jaemins gets angrier throughout the story, fingering, finger sucking, praising, unprotected sex, soft sex, y/ns pretty dumb but I think we knew that by now, once again jaemin calls himself nana because shut up
Tag list: @ahgastayzen @allykookiez @wooyugta @dreamlesswonder86 @taetaeismy @nanaysa @patchi-chi @simplicitysbabe @sweetjaemss @huangvibez @kaitherring @xxjaemchenct
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It was obvious how tense and awkward jaemin was the entire time you stayed at his house, which lasted longer than you thought. You stayed for two days, per jaemins request, and you thought what if he's finally angry and decides to break. No, it was the complete and utter opposite. Jaemin was sweet, something you've barely seen when he used to bully or make fun of you before all this happened. He made sure you were okay staying with him another night and took care of you when you weren't hungover.
Did anything special happen though? Nope, just you and jaemin cuddling every so often while binge watching Netflix shows while he sometimes cracked jokes here and there.
It was definitely a sight to see. Even made you wonder if this is what its like to date him.
"Nana," you spoke, jaemin lifting his head off your shoulders to give you his attention, "Get up, we need to go to school."
Jaemin groaned, putting his head down on your pillow like chest and began, "Can't we just skip school?" He whined, "Maybe play a bit too?" Jaemin lifted his chin up, placing it on top of your breasts as he pouted, waiting for you to give into his cuteness.
Wouldn't that be nice- but you weren't going to miss school to mess around with jaemin. No way. You weren't even his girlfriend yet and you were sure his little play thing, seulgi, wouldn't be too happy, shes been calling him since he brought you here.
"No." You grabbed him by his hair and peeled him off your body. Jaemin wasn't very amused by the action.
"Oh i get it." He mumbled, "You want to see jeno, right?"
The question caught you off guard. But jaemin being jealous wasn't unknown to you anymore. He was possessive, that much you knew, and he always found a way to guilt trip you about it.
"I mean, we have been talking a lot more so a lil bit." You smiled, earning an eye roll from jaemin as he got up with nothing else to say and stalked his closet for something to wear. You glanced at your clothes which were actually his. And since you never went back to your apartment to get another outfit, you had to wear what you wore at the party.
Eyes stared into your bare back after you threw off the shirt that covered your body. They lingered, but didn't settle on staying until you slipped the bralette on.
Jaemin was going to comment about it, yet kept his mouth shut because there was no use saying he could give you a t-shirt instead, youd just complain about how it didn't match.
But the skirt was a different story. It was a party skirt, something way too short for school. No wonder jeno liked it. And to be honest, jaemin didn't hate it himself, he'd just rather not have people like jeno staring at you and your thighs. You were his. At least in his head you were.
"Fuck!" You screamed, "My bags at home." Softening your voice, jaemin just about wanted to smack you for scaring the shit out of him. He actually thanked the heavens your bag wasn't here, it gave you a reason to change.
"Let's go to your place quickly before school starts." Jaemin grabbed his things and you nodded, following behind him almost speed walking because of how long his strides were. "And change when we get there too."
You looked down at your fit and hummed, stepping into the car ready for jaemin to go.
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"I don't think I can handle trig anymore." You bit your lip at the paper in hand. Jaemin looked down over your shoulder and almost scoffed. It was the homework due today, of course it was also one of the hardest pages the professor had given the class too, making it ten times harder for you to finish.
"If you had come over these past few nights, you wouldn't be so stressed." Jaemin shrugged.
It was like you knew he would say that with the way you rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, "Im actually thinking of dropping that class." You stated.
"Dont." He rested a hand on your shoulder, "Come over later and I'll help you." It wasn't even a question, in fact it was him telling you to do something. Its clear jaemins had enough of you ignoring him and hes also fed up with your complaining. Even wondered why you held out this long.
"But-"
"I'm not taking no for an answer anymore." Jaemin stated sternly as he sighed, stopping in front of your classroom and put his hands in his pocket. "Stop trying to ignore me," he leaned forward, just inches away from your face, "its not working."
"Just because you think its not working doesn't mean its not working...." You tilted your head to the side questioning your own words, "Anyway, you're jealous." Crossing your arms and leaning against the wall, your ego fed off of jaemins glaring eyes.
"Bullshit," jaemin tsked, "why would I be jealous?"
You smirked despite knowing you were playing a dangerous game with him. And jaemins good at playing games, he's done it to you for years.
You took a step forward, ultimately getting closer to his still leaned over figure and said, "You kept staring at jeno and I at the cafe and you had an attitude the entire time. Its obvious you know." Slithering a hand up his cheek, you pinched his smooth skin, "Nanas jealous."
It was an understatement to say jaemin didn't feel shivers go up his spine from your low voice. For once jaemin didn't have anything to come up with. Nothing crossed his mind to tell you that what you saw of him wasn't him being jealous, but that would be the dumbest of lies.
"Quiet for once? That's a first." You snickered at the small shade of red on his cheeks. It was either anger or him actually getting flustered. Either way you still claimed victory for keeping him surprisingly quiet.
Jaemin pulled your hand away from his face and opened his mouth, "Admit that you're purposely doing it then. There's no way you and jeno are magically good friends now. You hate him just as much as you hated me."
"Im not purposely making you jealous," you lied, "And I never hated jeno, just strongly disliked him for being friends with you."
The older almost laughed in your face from how stupid your lie was. "If you want my attention, say it." He smirked, proceeding to push you against the wall behind you without a second thought making you uncross your arms, "Its not hard y/n."
His hands trailed down to your waist, intensly watching your face as you looked around him, afraid that what he'd do will go too far and some students will see a not so innocent sight.
"Youre full of yourself." You inhaled sharply as he leaned forward ever so closely, just barely brushing his lips over yours.
"And you'll be full of nana soon." Jaemin almost closed the space between you with his lips, but someone stopped him.
"Jaemin!!!" Seulgi came running up to jaemin in her cute high heeled shoes. Her hair bouncing perfectly against her back as she pulled him away from you and into a hug, not before she planted a kiss to his lips as if you weren't standing right there, "I haven't seen you in so long, babe. You didn't call." She pouted with more puppy eyes than normal.
You missed the way jaemin growled at her, almost throwing seulgi off him since you were so focused on them kissing. Never did you think you'd witness it either. Something about it made your stomach churn and you couldnt bare stand there for long before walking away, taking zero notice of the way jaemin called out for you.
"Let's get some coffee before the bell rings." Seulgi pulled jaemin, but his eyes still lingered on the door you entered.
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You couldnt stop your mind from racing in class. It was like your mind was playing games on you, telling you that jaemin wasn't in the slightest interested in you and thats why he never answered you, because he was too embarrassed to be seen with someone like you.
But that was only you overthinking.
Obviously jaemin cared for you, he wouldnt have let you stay over his house, tutored you, or be possessive when it came to you. So why did he kiss her back? In front of you too? Was he actually dating her for real?
These questions ran through your head, giving you a mini headache from thinking too hard about it.
It was like you were in high school all over again where everything was dramatic for no reason, well in some aspects you made it this way, but your point still stands.
"Y/n," someone tapped the table repeatedly, bringing you back to reality, "Class is over." jeno looked at you with suspicion but brushed it off thinking you were probably tired.
You glanced around the empty room before looking back at jeno, "Oh...yeah."
"Well uh," he scratched the back of his head, "You should probably get to your next class."
That's the last thing you wanted to do. Jaemin would be there and so was one of seulgis minions that always kept an eye out for anything he did. As annoying as it was, you weren't surprised anymore.
"Im gonna skip."
Jeno grimaced as you stood up and grabbed your things, walking towards the rooms exit as he followed close behind, "You? Skip? What the fuck??"
You stopped in your tracks, jeno almost bumbing into you in the process, "Do I need to spell it out for you or something? S-k-"
"No shut up. Its just shocking that your skipping." Jeno half grinned at the way you stared at him stoically.
"What are you getting at?"
The man before you chuckled, "Im saying youre a goody two shoes and you've never done a bad thing in your life."
You can't say he was wrong, but you also have to admit that you have stepped out of your shell recently and maybe for the better.
"Everyone changes some time in their lives." You pointed out, strolling out of the class to nowhere specific. "Better run to class jeno, dont want the teacher calling you put again."
"Yeah yeah." He eye smiled, giving you a quick pat on the back before saying bye and walking to his class.
You couldnt help but smile at him as he moved further and further away. You had to admit, jeno wasn't as bad as you thought. Not anymore anyway. But as jeno soon disappeared around a corner, you sighed and sauntered to the library where you were going to do your work until class ended.
Students were scattered everywhere in the library, some typing away at their laptops or school computers while others had papers and books sprawled out in front of them. Unfortunately for you, you were going to be the ones with almost any school supply in front of them. And with a sigh and slouched shoulders, you sat at an empty desk near the front of the library, taking your homework out as well as some books.
Normally it wouldn't be a problem for you to focus, but it was stressful with so many things laid out for you. Face palming and groaning quietly at your trig paper, you attempted the first problem which honestly didn't seem too bad, but you weren't always so sure of yourself when doing these kinds of things. Mostly because you second guessed yourself making you pick the wrong answer when you were originally right.
"This is so fucking stupid." You threw your head into your hands, giving up on trying since it was useless anyway. You needed jaemin. He was the only reason you started getting some good grades on your work.
"Whats stupid?"
Speak of the devil.
"The trig home- wait why aren't you in class?" You gazed at him before averting your eyes, not trying to let them linger too long.
Jaemin pulled a chair out and sat closely beside you, raising a brow as you inched away from him. "I could ask you the same thing." He tipped the chair back a little, keeping his eyes locked on the side of your stoic face.
"Im doing something if you can't tell." You snapped, instantly regretting the way your voice raised once you noticed jaemin clenching his jaw out the corner of your eye. But you couldnt help it, you were still frustrated, embarrassed, and jealous from earlier.
"Whats wrong?" Jaemin calmed himself, not wanting to blow up at you.
"Nothing." You ignored his eyes that watched you do out the problem. Probably silently telling you that it was all wrong but you weren't trying to pay attention to him.
"Youre doing it again."
"Doing what? I'm just trying to do my work." After writing your answer down, you checked over tbe work before you smiled to yourself. This had to be the right answer.
"Stop playing dumb." he grabbed your chin, "You know what you're doing."
Wiggling out of his grasp was no use, jaemin managed to move his hand to your jaw to keep you still.
You winced at the sudden squeeze, "I dont know what you're talking about."
Jaemin had enough of this bullshit, now grabbing your neck instead. Your eyes wondered the room hoping no one was paying attention, "Im not playing games with you. Why are you ignoring me again?"
"That's a good question." You looked away and though jaemims grip was starting to hurt more each second, you still found a way to show your disinterest.
Jaemin sighed, letting his hand drop and you inhaled deeply without a second thought. "Whats wrong then?"
"I told you its nothing."
"Bullshit." Jaemin took the pencil out of your hand just as you were about to write, your hand flying up to try and take it back but he pulled away.
"You really wanna know then?" You asked sharply to which jaemin nodded, "You kissed seulgi. Happy now?"
Jaemins mouth fell at your confession. Yes he figured that upset you a bit, but he never thought it was enough for you to ignore him.
"I never even went that far with jeno."
"Never went that far, huh?" He snapped back, shaking his head in disbelief as his face once again was steaming with anger. "Need i remind you how you made out with him at the party. Or were you that wasted and cant remember?"
The new found anger overlapped the previous one with more than just anger, but annoyance. There was no way jaemin was telling the truth, you would never kiss jeno.
"No i didnt."
"Dont tell me you didn't, I fucking saw it." His hand found its way on the table creating a loud bam that startled not only you, but a few kids that even lifted their heads to see what caused the noise. "You were the first one to go that far, so blame yourself before you blame me."
Taking a deep breath, you had to calm down before you said something you'd regret. Knowing jaemin too, you already had something waiting for you at his house.
"I believe you." Jaemin was ready to open his mouth but you were quick and responded, "because i remember." The problem with this answer was because it was untruthful. You already dug yourself a whole from the beginning yet you knew what you were getting yourself into. There was something about playing with jaemins anger that made you go wild.
Determined with your lie, you kept the straightest face like it was proof you recalled that night. Jaemin too was focused only on your face, his hand balling into a fist ever so slowly.
"I remember....he was a really good kisser," you whispered, "And you looked so mad." Snickering away at your words, you placed a hand on jaemins lap and watched his expression go from anger to almost frothing at the mouth.
Bingo. He was too far gone to see through you at this point and this is where you smirked to yourself.
"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, rolling his eyes thinking about how fed up he was, "Lets go."
Despite being told what to do, you sat looking between jaemin and your sprawled out homework. "I have things to do."
Jaemin literally shoved all your papers into your bag, not caring how they crumpled in the small space as you complained and swatted at his arm. Of course though, jaemin payed no mind to it, grabbing your hand and bag before dragging you out of the library.
You fought and struggled to get out of his grip. From the start you knew what you were getting into, that's why you did what you did. Now being dragged to his house it dawned on you that it was time to suffer whatever he had in mind.
"When we get to my house," jaemin locked his eyes with yours as he led you to his car, "We'll study trig, and depending on my mood and your attitude after, I might go easy with the punishment later."
"Im not going over to study and then be punished afterwards." Your voice faltered as you saw a familiar someone walking towards you and jaemin.
Jenos eyes lit up sadistically, smiling at you, telling you to smile back for one reason: to set jaemin off.
You did without hesitation, jaemins hold getting tighter and tighter as he glared at his best friend who walked by, holding the proudest grin on his face.
Once at the car, jaemin shoved you inside the passenger seat, slamming the door before he situated himself in the drivers side. Your eyes watched in annoyance yet you were intrigued. Maybe because you haven't had any action with jaemin since about a week ago.
Resting your head against the headrest, you stared outside the window. There wasn't any way you could hold another conversation with the man, it would only drive your hormones insane.
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Its been thirty minutes and to say you were paying attention would be the stupidest thing ever. every word that jaemin said went in one ear and out the other. Some part of you was purposely choosing to ignore him, but your attention span was almost non existent in the first place. So listening to jaemin talk about trigonometry was only boring you.
You tapped out, playing with your pencil or doodling on the paper. Each time you weren't paying attention, jaemin would ask you to write down the answer or a land a slap right on your thigh. It stung and made up jump with shock in your eyes as jaemin told you the same thing each time: "pay attention." But did you? God no. It was impossible. With the thought of a punishment too, it made your mind run like it was in a marathon.
"Little girl," jaemins voice once again brought you back to reality, "what did nana just say?" You shrugged your shoulders slightly, keeping your head down like you were shy yet you were far from it, holding a small grin on your innocent face.
"I dont know, nor do I care." You finally looked up. Jaemin was none too happy, letting his chest fall.
Shaking his head, he said once more to listen and pay attention.
Jaemin took your pencil so he could write out the problem for you, deciding to be nice even though you weren't returning it. You watched the way his pretty hands flexed with every number or letter he wrote. The subtle veins showing every so often too made you almost drool at the sight. Oh what you would do to have him wrap his hands around your neck again.
"Solve it." Jaemin threw the pencil down in front of you, resting his head in his hand to watch you. But you didn't move, not even a simple budge.
"No."
"Y/n its not that fucking hard, just solve it."
You glanced at the paper then the pencil that laid on the table before grabbing it and snapping it in half.
"Im not doing it." You faked a smile, ready for jaemin to snap just like the pencil.
"You need to pass this class, y/n. Stop messing around and pay attention."
You shot up from your seat, "I. Dont. Care. I'm going home."
It wasn't long before he suddenly stood up too, grabbing you by the hair and threw you on his bed, "Okay you wanna act up?" He hovered over you, pinning your arms down on the soft bed as he straddled your lower half. "I dont get why you continue to act like a brat when you know you're going to be punished. Unless you want it?" Jaemins face was merely inches in front of yours not until you blew into his face and smirked when he flinched and pulled away.
"Ever wonder why I act this way? Your easy to push, I can get in your head and make you get mad so I get exactly what I want." You snickered, "Not to mention its to make you suffer for not answering my question." A hand was placed on his covered chest, rubbing small circles on the fabric of the shirt.
Suddenly, jaemin laughed. Though, it wasn't a joyful one. It was more sadistic and filled with amusement, "How is it making me suffer if you're the one about to be punished?"
"Cuz i still get what I want in the end."
"My dick or my attention?"
"Both."
Jaemnn chuckled dryly, quickly sitting back and tearing your clothes off without a second thought.
You were ready to protest about your clothes until jaemin took matters in his own hands and shoved his fingers nearly down your throat to shut you up.
"Im tired of your voice." He spat, "All you talk is shit."
Whimpering around his fingers, you tried anything in your power to try and pry them out. He never moved back, sticking his fingers deeper and deeper until he heard you gag and whine the best you could. Your throat felt so tight and it was getting harder to breathe. Jaemin didn't care, deciding to just fuck your mouth with his fingers as he started pulling your pants and panties down, lifting his hips up so he can take them off all the way.
"It would be so much nicer if you weren't a brat you know." Jaemin began, easily shoving two fingers inside your dripping cunt, "Nana could've stuffed you full of his cock, made love to you, and made you happy. Instead," his fingers that were buried in your heat, curled and pushed in a certain way that made your eyes roll, "You wanted to be a little bitch."
You drew out a long hum, the pleasure felt so good after pushing jaemin for so long. All his anger was going to this one punishment and you should've felt scared, but you weren't. You were excited and loved every bit of it.
The way he fingered you was almost too surreal. It made your body crumple against his will and he wasn't even fucking you yet.
It was getting harder to breathe being filled by his two fingers. Just barely becoming too overwhelming so you tapped his hand to signal you needed to breathe. Jaemin took his hand out, watching your face to make sure you were okay as you gasped for air.
"Are y-you try-trying to kill me or s-something?" You moaned at one particular hard thrust that made your breath hitch.
"Oh shut up, I know you liked it. Probably imagined my cock down your throat." He bit his lip, taking in the thought of what you would look like on your knees for him before shaking it off.
"I-i was n-not."
Jaemin smirked devishly, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out more, but you kept clenching around him. Your hand grabbed his wrists in a death grip, moans fell from your open mouth and jaemin ate that all up. Loving how your body shook, knowing you were so close.
Right when you felt your orgasm coming, jaemin ripped his fingers out of you, essentially letting your juices flow out. But you didn't cum, no you were just that wet.
Your hips lifted up like you would get friction but there was nothing to get friction from, you looked dumb and pathetic.
"Not fair..." you mumbled, frowning at the annoying smirk on jaemins face.
"Punishments aren't supposed to be fair," he said a matter of factly, pushing your hips back down on your bed as he grazed his fingers over your wetness before pushing back in again.
This time setting a ruthless pace, taking in your fucked out expression.
"Jaemin- please im s-so close." Fidgeting and clawing at his wrists, the orgasm built back up. It got closer, closer, closer. Right there, it was right there, but jaemin took it away from you again.
"God, I love this way more than I should. Breaking a brat is so much fun." His fingers dripped with your arousal. He stared at the strand connecting his fingers. It was so much and so lewd, it should've been embarrassing to you yet it made him want more from you. "How many times should nana edge his pretty girl? Maybe-"
"Fuck you." You cried, ready to take this into your own hands and finish yourself off.
Jaemins hand made a perfect necklace on your neck, tightening his grip on the sides so you felt all his anger, "Thats the last thing I would say if I were you."
"W-what are y-you gonna do? Spank me?" Thinking he actually would if you said that, you were slapped across the face, eyes not staring at jaemin anymore but the wall next to the bed.
"Dont test me anymore, your already in for it." He growled into your ear. Leaving his hand wrapped around your neck, he slipped back inside, this time fucking his fingers into you at an antagonizing slow pace.
You wanted to scream and push him away for being a tease, but you reminded yourself that this is what you wanted, this was what you'll get. You had no idea how long this pain will continue though. All you could think about was cumming. In fact, that was the only thing on your mind as he fingered your tight pussy. The pain of not being able to orgasm was so unbearable, it just about made your eyes tear up. Were you that desperate that you'd cry over it?
"I wanna...c-cum so bad..."
The man above you stared at you in disbelief. He basically just started and you were already a mess.
"You really want to cum that badly?" You nodded hastily, tears at the brink of falling, you couldnt hold it in anymore, "Then apologize for all the shit you put us through. Starting with you ignoring me, fake dating jeno, and purposely pissing me off for the hell of it." Jaemin said with his whole chest. Being able to say it out loud reminded him of everything. From the time you started this crap, to now.
"I-im sorry- I'm so f-fucking sorry, jaemin." You forced yourself to look into his eyes, his angry red eyes that tore into your soul to find any lie, yet you had none. You meant what you said with full honesty, "Please nana, l-let me cum."
Jaemin simply gave you a nod and thats when you let everything out. You came all over his fingers but jaemin didn't stop nor slow down. He kept the same rough pace as before and you could only scream and cry from the sensitivity.
Then jaemin started rubbing and pinching your sensitive clit before giving your cunt a slap that made you jolt and cry out.
"Ahh- w-wait jae-mmm....s-so sensitive."
Jaemin rolled his eyes, "thought you wanted to cum? I'm giving you what you want, babe."
Your legs closed around his fingers though it didn't stop him from curling and fucking them inside. He could just easily push them open yet he found your sensitivity amusing which led you to cum again without warning.
"What a pathetic little fucking brat you are." He gathered the white substance that leaked from your clentching hole and shoved it back in, "Making such a mess of yourself."
Your back arched, even more sensitive than before.
The hand on your neck moved down to your breast, squeezing at your nipples and playing with everything he could get his hand on. Your nipples were so sensitive that that alone could make you cry and moan just from a simple touch.
His fingers brushed against your sweet spot where you screamed his name. Being over sensitive made everything feel more pleasurable and painful. Every small touch on your pussy brought you to a shaking pleasure that you couldnt control. It was becoming too much and too overwhelming.
"Fuck, are you gonna cum again? It hasn't even been five minutes." He watched, eyes filled with amazement as you shook and once again, came on his sheets and fingers.
Your shaking didn't stop though, it was like the kind of shake you get when your cold, though you were far from it. The intensity of this orgasm was just too much where even jaemin had to pull his fingers out and let you breathe for a moment.
"You okay, baby?" He asked quietly, kissing your temple as you nodded your head, "Can you give nana one more then?" Not wanting to stop, you nodded without a thought causing jaemin to smile and lean back.
Jaemin finally got rid of his clothing, crawling back on the bed before giving you a kiss so you wouldn't notice how he slipped his cock inside.
Surprisingly jaemin took his time pushing in, savoring your sweet little moans that drove him crazy. He started and kept a slow pace that made the overwhelming feeling dissolve away. Now you were wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into the soft eyes of jaemins that were just red a second ago.
Every vein against your walls made you feel ecstasy. Jaemin was careful with each thrust and it felt like pure love. They were passionate and he didn't fail to show it.
"Taking nanas cock so well, just like the good girl you are." Jaemin smiled at your beautiful face that contorted into pleasure. Both of your moans filled the room. More cuss words were thrown from you like it was the only thing in your dictionary.
The lewd sounds of your bodys bounced off the walls as jaemin fucked you slow and steady, grabbing your hips gently as he kissed all over your face, neck, and breasts. He sucked on your skin here and there, creating small bruises that looked like a tattoo as you grabbed the back of his head, lifting him up by the hair to bring his face to yours so you could place a kiss to his red lips.
The kiss was sloppy and slow. Neither of you cared though, both focused on your orgasms that kept coming closer.
Jaemins thrusts stuttered and his cock twitched inside you. The hand in jaemins hair pulled and messed up his locks, sure to create a messy sight later on.
" 'm gon-gonna cum." You moaned, lifting your hips up to meet his along the way.
"Cum, princess."
The final orgasm left your body feeling like it was on a cloud while all you saw were stars making jaemin coo at your fucked out face.
Pulling out, jaemin finished on your stomach before letting his body fall next to yours, wrapping an arm around your hips and pulling you into him..
You both panted out of tiredness, neither one bothering to move as you were both spent.
"Did I hurt you, princess? Are you feeling okay?"
You smiled into his chest, "no you didn't hurt me and I feel fine."
"Good." Jaemin smiled, petting your hair before laying his head on top of yours, "Wanna go on a date?"
You swear your heart stopped as your face heated up, "Jaemin, you're doing everything backwards."
"So is that a yes or no?"
"Of course its a yes!"
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It was a peaceful restaurant that jaemin brought you to, saying it was supposed to be a place a lot of couples went to which you thought was absolutely sweet of him.
"So...uh." jaemin looked anywhere but your face like he didn't just have sex with you for the second time.
You snickered and sipped the drink in your hand, "Why are you so awkward all of a sudden? Its just me."
"I know it's just- I feel like I can't say what I wanna say because I'm afraid." Jaemin sighed.
"Of what exactly?" You placed the drink down, watching as jaemin fumbled with the menu before he covered his mouth and mumbled something you coulsnt quite grasp, "What did you say?"
"...nothing."
"Jaemin."
His doe eyes stared into yours like it was some sort of contest, wanting you to look away first but you and he did, "Alright fine. I said I'm a bit nervous if I were to ask you out."
Tilting your head to the side, you puffed your cheeks out in confusion, "Why?"
"The last relationship I had, the girl cheated on me. Afterwards she said it was because i wasn't good enough." He frowned, returning his attention back to the menu where you presumed was his hiding place for the time being.
"Well she's a bitch and is missing out on an amazing person." You pushed the menu down, "Is that why you acted that way when you saw jeno and I at the cafe? Did you think I thought you weren't good enough?"
Jaemin nodded slowly, "Kind of. I didn't want to lose someone I loved again."
"Loved? Na jaemin-"
"Dont say it." He groaned.
"You've gotten soft! Does this mean what I think it means?" You quirked a suggestive brow at him causing him to put his head in his hand.
"Yes, ill be your boyfriend." He said in his hand before you took it away and grabbed his face to kiss him. "I- princess when did you become do confident?"
"When did you become so shy?"
"Fair point."
Everything felt right all of a sudden. No more of jaemin being your bully. No more coffee being poured on your head. No more stupid high school drama that wasn't even drama in the first place. It was all right for once. And you couldnt say you could complain. After weeks, you got what you struggled to have before; na jaemin.
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antihero-writings · 3 years
Text
Before it Kills You Too (Ch2 Snippets 1, 2 & 3)
Fandom: Lore Olympus
Chapter Summary: When Hera gets into a car accident after a fight, Zeus has a moment to ruminate on their relationship. Written using the song “Wait” by Maroon 5 as a prompt.
Character Focus: Zeus
Please note!! This is the previous Ch2 snippets I posted + a new snippet (the new snippet starts with “I would venture to guess she was driving too fast.”)
I’ve been having trouble with this chapter for a very long time, so I’ve decided to post it snippet-by-snippet, because that seems like the only way I’ll successfully finish this fic. 
While this should be as close to the final version as it can be, anything in this snippet is subject to change when the full chapter comes out. (And, hey, to that end, if there’s anything you think needs to be edited here, please kindly let me know!!)
Im really excited about this snippet!! Definitely one of my favorite parts of the chapter!!
Thanks again SO much to those who support this fic and want to read more!! The fact that you want to read more really does mean the world to me!! I appreciate your kind comments so much!!
I’d really appreciate it if you could leave a comment and/or reblog!!! I’m not kidding when I say that makes my week!!
Tagging some folks who’ve shown interest!! @jayyy007 @autumnmoon21 @sunsetsofanemoia, @lynnie51 @what-the-fuckaroni @masquejj
And please do let me know if you’d like me to add you to a taglist for this fic, or message you when new snippets/the next chapter come/s out!!
Chapter 2 Snippets 1, 2 & 3:
Hera was standing in the crowded meadow, surrounded by her friends, laughing that girly little giggle full of sunshine that just about made Zeus’ heart ooze in a puddle out of his chest.
Her blue dress made her eyes look like two shimmering sapphires.
“Have I seen her in a dress that color?” Zeus inquired excitedly from behind the bushes.
“How can we know what you’ve seen?” Aidoneus muttered. “With you creeping around, you might have seen her naked for all we know.”
Zeus punched him in the arm, (lightly).
“I don’t think she’s worn a dress that color!” Posiedon bubbled.
“Thank you, Posiedon. At least someone can answer a question.”
“I think she looks like the sea on summer day.” He put his hands on his face, them sliding slowly.
Zeus eyed him. “Alright, keep it in your toga, Little Green Man.”
“Should we really be here?” Aidoneus muttered. “We weren’t invited.”
“Oh come on,” Zeus stood up, putting his hands on his hips. “Who wouldn’t want to see the King of the gods here?”
Poseidon grinned and stood up behind his brother. “No one!”
“Hestia, Demeter… assorted sane people.” Hades muttered as he stood to follow.
“If that’s sanity I’m glad I’m insane.” Zeus trilled as he strutted up to the entrance.
A cute pink nymph—(rather well endowed in the chestal region—not that he noticed!)—greeted them at the archway.
“Oh! Zeus!” She flushed and bowed. “It’s an honor. Welcome!”
“Why it’s an honor to meet you, my lady.” He kissed her hand, and she giggled. “See?” he turned to his brothers. “They’re delighted to have us.”
“I’ve got a bad feeling.” Hades muttered.
Hera was closer now; she smelled like summer, and she looked like it too. Poseidon was right about the ocean thing; she practically shimmered as she spoke with her friends.
“I’m gonna go talk to her.”
“Wait—!” Hades was soon swallowed by the crowd.
Zeus scooched behind her at lightning speed. One by one her friends began to take notice, their eyes widening.
Hera took a step back and would have tripped in surprise if he hadn’t caught her.
“Careful there, you might fall, Birthday Girl.”
“Oh, Zeus!” She looked up at him, the back of her head hitting his chest, “hi!”
That golden smile.
“I made you something!” As she spun to face him, he produced a little carving of a bird from his pocket. (And, no, he didn’t make it).
“Oh!” She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, gently taking it from him, “It’s beautiful!”
All his responsibilities and stresses melted away with the sight of that smile, and he forgot there was anyone else at the party…in the world.
(…He wished he saw that smile anymore.)
Zeus’ chair was spinning empty at his desk before his assistant could say another word—
And Olympus wept, distant peals of thunder rending the sky into pieces.
Lightning crackled and cackled through his hair, creating violet tracks through the air, as Zeus sped through the sky.
It was freezing, and people were staring, but he didn’t care.
All that mattered was getting to his wife.
“My you look stunning.” Zeus sidled up behind his wife, running his fingers gently along her arm. “Is that a new dress?”
“New as that girlfriend of yours.” Hera grunted.
His eyes widened with shock, his voice with an indignant undertone to it. “Is something wrong?”
She paused a moment. He could see words fluttering behind her lips—(like they did so often, too often)—the words Yes you did something wrong, how can you not know?
He knew she wouldn’t believe him when he said he didn’t mean to hurt her.
“You weren’t invited,” she said softly.
“Not invited? Me?” He put his hand to his chest, like the thought of him ever not being welcome to somewhere was absurd. “To what?”
“The party, you nitwit!” She whirled around, her hair nearly whipping him in the face. “You just came barging in like you owned the place!”
“Well…to be fair—”
He stopped short at the look in her eyes, like two blue-hot flames.
He knew it was taking her a great amount of effort not to slap him.
“Do you know how long I’d been preparing for that?! How long it took me to get everything just right? I told you, but you never even listened, did you? And then you just barged right in!”
“Why are you so upset? What’s so important about a party?!”
“They were my friends.” Her gaze softened, and her tone became more serious. “They were—” Until she cut herself off, and her expression hardened as she whirled around, her hair billowing behind her.
“Bunny, wait!” His tone was softer too.
He wished she’d just turn around. That he could say sorry.
Was it really so hard? He should have started there.
Had he ever apologized for that?
He was always doing that; barging in where he wasn’t welcome. The world was his, yes but…he had to concede there were some parts of it he ought not just barge in on.
When he burst into the hospital, however, they wouldn’t dare tell him he wasn’t invited, wouldn’t dare tell him he couldn’t see her.
“Where. is my. wife?” Lightning slammed into a lamppost just outside the front door, shattering its glass box, and making the light spark, the rain pounding at the window like rabid dogs.
The desk clerk looked like she was about to pee out of sheer fear.
“Sh-sh-she’s not out of surgery yet, your majesty...I understand you want to see her, but I can’t let you…until-until they’re finished.” She was practically vibrating. “I assure you the moment she gets out, we’ll notify you.”
Surgery? He wanted to demand. She’s the queen of the gods, how could she be in surgery?
Electricity sparked in his eyes, trailing throughout his hair. He could say I demand you let me see her. He could say I don’t care! She’s my wife, and I’m not waiting! She’s fine! She’s the queen—she’s my queen—she won’t be hurt from a little car accident!
But there were some places he ought not just barge in on… and the surgeons room was probably one of them.
The lightning let out a sighing crackle, before he closed his eyes, his hair falling back upon his shoulders. It was then that he noticed he was dripping wet from head to toe. He sighed himself before muttering something like a garbled “I understand, thank you.” And turning to sit in the lobby. Behind him the desk clerk’s coworker held her to keep her from fainting.
He snapped his fingers, drying off, so as not to get their nice, barf-colored carpet all wet. Once he sat down in a chair—(the cushions didn’t have any cush to them)—a kid in the chair across from him scooched away.
He could have that kid lightly charred if he wanted.
Instead he settled for a nice glare, and reached over to pick up last month’s—(or maybe it was a few months ago)—issue of  “Goddess weekly” listening to the rain die down to a drum.
The same old gossip. Usually if he picked one of these up he’d check for any news he ought to be aware of. You know, as the king. Not to mention the ladies weren’t unappealing. Now he flicked through without seeing any of it.
Speaking of ladies, there was a nymph sitting across the room from him, her skin blue, her ears down, and a cute little half smile. She surely wasn’t in here for anything serious. She kept glancing from her own magazine to him—but not in a nervous way. If he wasn’t mistaken, she wouldn’t be opposed to a session of hide-the-German-sausage.
If he wanted he could take her there in a darkened closet in the hallway. It wouldn’t take long—(if it didn’t need to…or it could take all night). That would be a nice way to relieve the stress bubbling in his body.
—Someone was laying next to him, her skin smooth, practically glowing. There was rather a lot of it exposed.
She turned over, her eyes fluttering open, a small smile creasing her features as she rolled onto his chest, tickling his chin with her fingers.
“I had a wonderful time,” she twittered, and he practically purred, staring into those big blue eyes, glittering like river stones.
He pushed her green hair behind her ear.
“Is that all? I’d like to think a night with the King of the gods would be more than merely ‘wonderful.’”
She giggled. “No no, it was much more than wonderful! It was spectacular! Mind-blowing!” She threw her arms in the air.
“That’s more like it.” He grinned—
When was that again? Two years ago, or two days ago?
It could have been either.
Had he apologized for that?
Would it have mattered if he had? Would she have forgiven him? Would he have stopped?—
Bile rose in his throat, and he dove his nose so hard into the magazine he almost smacked himself with it.
His wife was bruised and bleeding, and potentially worse in a nearby room, at the mercy of some quack holding a scalpel and a few comforting words…and here he was thinking of betraying her for the…
How many times had it been now?
He threw the magazine back on the table and sank in the chair till his head was nearly on the bottom cushion, his lip flapping his he blew out a breath, making his hair fly up a little.
The kid and his mom got called, and seemed glad of a reason to leave.
After a healthy dose of moping he pulled out his phone. After checking fatesbook and playing a few games he decided it was time to open his messages.
He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted some sensible and non-conjugal company.
He scrolled through and clicked on a name.
A number of old conversations sprinkled the page, often detailing Zeus asking about getting together and the correspondent saying they were busy.
He thought a moment about what to say—(a rare occurrence for him)—before deciding any vague requests would probably get ignored, so he simply decided the boldfaced truth:
Hera’s been in a car accident. She’s in surgery.
“WHAT?!” The word was spoken aloud—and very loudly at that.
Hades was standing in front of him. If the king being here wasn’t enough reason for weird looks, this outburst had sent more than a few eyes their way.
Zeus did a finger wave at the nymph, before he grabbed his brother’s arm, whisking him off to a less crowded hallway.
The only thing here was a vending machine, and a few overly picturesque pictures of trees.
“How did this happen?!”  Hades shout-whispered.
“I would venture to guess she was driving too fast.”
“I could have gathered that myself, thank you very much!” Hades was clearly trying not to shout. “What was she doing?! Where was she going?!”
Zeus rolled folded his arms. “Does it matter?”
“Sure it matters! Well at least it’d be good to know!”
“…I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?! What do you mean you don’t know?! She’s your wife—!”
“I said I don’t know!” he kicked the vending machine.
The air shattered and reformed itself.
Zeus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, his voice softening. “I…I don’t know.”
Two sides of him warred. One wanted to shout at Hades. He expected him to know where she was at all times? Oh yeah, that would go over well with her. What kind of helicopter husband would he be then?
And yet, it felt wrong for him not to know. Like some sort of failure. She was his wife. Shouldn’t he? Shouldn’t he have asked? Shouldn’t he care?
Hades’ gaze softened.
“I upset her.” Zeus murmured. “We got into a fight.”
Hades leaned against the wall. He was probably resisting the urge to say he could have gathered that too.
Zeus leaned his head forward onto the glass of the vending machine, his hair falling to the side, his reflection vaguely eyeing him.
“We got into a fight and she…I hadn’t even realized she went for a drive.” He paused, observing the chocolate and chips sitting in neat rows in the machine. “Do you think she liked Twyx?”
“Huh?”
“Do you think she liked Twyx?”
Hades pondered it a moment. “Probably. She tends to like things with caramel in them.”
Zeus smiled wryly. “See? I didn’t even know that.”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to ask her all your burning questions about her favorite candy flavors very soon.”
“That’s not the point.” Zeus whispered.
Zeus was feeling a little off-kilter.
He nearly fell into a three-thousand drachma vase.
Okay, make that a lot.
The sound of heels on the staircase. The white one they’d painted for that one event…what had they been celebrating again?
His hazy gaze made her glitter even more than usual.
“Have I ever told you that you’re like the sea on a summer’s day?” Zeus’ voice came out blurry. He put his hand in his hair, trying to look sexy, you know, like the kind of guy you’d wanna forgive.
This was met by her hair slapping him in the face as she walked by him. She paused a few steps below him, turning.
“Is that alcohol I smell on your breath?”
“I may have had one—“ He hiccuped, “or five, appletinis.”
“And this is what? An intelligent conversation you’re trying to have?” She folded her arms over her chest.
“Actually,” he held up a finger. The action made him feel off-balance so he leaned against the railing, trying to land in a sexy pose. “There is something I wanted to say.”
“You’re barely coherent when you’re sober, at least spare me until then.”
He rolled his eyes—(and made himself feel even dizzier).
She turned to go back up the stairs.
“Wait!” He shouted.
She stopped, looked over her shoulder, eyes narrow as a cat’s. “What?”
“I-hic!” He covered his mouth as if embarrassed. Clearly emotion was dangerous. “I wasn’t trying to get wasted! I just-hic!-needed more than three or four to say this.”
“Oh yeah? Spit it out Grape Sorbet.” She folded her arms over her chest.
“I’m…” he held on to the railing for support. “I’m sorry.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”
“You…You were right.” He took a step closer.
“About what?” Her breath bated.
“I just…I didn’t want to admit it. I couldn’t…” He looked away. “I couldn’t tell you sober.”
“About what?” The words had a rough edge to them, her chest heaving with breath.
Ah. She knew. She knew what he was going to say, even before he said it.
“I…I did cheat on you.”
“Wh-What?” Her eyes tinted red…but there was so much hurt in the word.
Fear and shame rose in tandem like ocean waves, threatening to bowl him over, and he realized that the truth wasn’t going to help at all. But all he could do was let it pour out of him.
“You-hic-You asked if I was with-hic—”
“Stop.” She covered her mouth as if to keep the worst words from spilling out, tears welling in her eyes.
“But I—”
“I said stop!” Her voice rang through the room like something shattering.
Maybe something was.
Her heels against the stairs, fast and sharp, and away.
“Wait!”
Turn around please, let me apologize, let me explain, I won’t do it again.
He threw up in the vase.
“Daddy? What was that all about?” The small voice made his blood run cold. “What did you cheat at? Were you playing a game?”
Zeus turned, horrified, to see Ares, hiding behind a crack in the door.
“I shouldn’t have yelled at her.” He breathed. “It was stupid, really.”
Hades put a dollar in the vending machine and punched in a number.
“People say all kinds of things when they’re angry. Doesn’t mean you’re bad, just means you’re people. Which…” Hades looked him up and down, adding under his breath, “I wonder about sometimes.”
“...You must think I’m a terrible husband.”
Hades grabbed two chocolate bars and handed one to his brother.
“I think you need something sweet, maybe a little hydration, and some rest.”
Zeus unwrapped the bar and took a bite, not really tasting anything.
After a moment Hades sighed.
“It’s not so simple as that.” Hades said between bites, “I don’t necessarily think there’s such a thing as a ‘terrible husband’ or ‘the best husband.’ I…I don’t even think there’s such a thing as good and bad people. There’s just…people. There’s just husbands. But there are rules that come with being a person, and/or being a husband and…” he paused, trying to choose his words carefully, “you don’t always follow those rules.”
Zeus fell back against the wall, looking at the floor, denials dying in his throat.
It was raining.
No, actually it was pouring. And thundering. The lightning was like cracks in a collapsing sky, and Zeus’s gut was twisting like the snakes on the head of a gorgon.
“What? You-you think you can just undo this?!” Hera’s words were biting. “It’s done!” Her laugh was wry and sardonic, like an ache in her throat, red tainting the blue of her eyes. “You can’t just fix something like that! Once someone cheats at the game no one else just keeps playing!”
“It was a mistake! One stupid night!”
“One stupid night, huh?! Then how do you explain this?!” She held up his phone. The pictures. The…Oh Gaia.
The snakes in his gut bit down, and he bit his lip looking away. He hadn’t known she knew about that.
“You’ve got it all wrong! That was just—!”
“I thought you were different!” She bit off his excuse, the anger cracked, and the pain was bleeding through, and he wasn’t the only one making it rain: A tear fell down her face, then another, her mascara running black along her cheeks. “You made me smile, you made me laugh! You saved your brothers from your father. And I thought we could make a kingdom—a world—together!” She shook her head, grimacing, trying and failing to keep more tears from falling. “I thought we could be something!”
“We are! We have! I just made a mistake! I—!”
“No, Zeus.” There was a finality to her tone.
Tears streamed down her face now. He hated it when she cried. She didn’t do it often, and whenever she did he was ready to smite whoever hurt her but…he’d hurt her worst of all.
“I thought you were different. But you’re—“ the words were like an antique vase, riddled with cracks. “You’re just another bad guy.” She punched him in the arm, and the vase broke, the defiance into pain. She punched him in the arm…but it was weak and far too soft, and that’s how he knew she was really hurt; she could bring the sky down on him if she wanted.
She looked down at her hand, twisting her wedding ring with a finger.
“I’m staying with a friend tonight.”
Her wedding ring tinkled on the floor.
As she turned and walked away the word rang out like he was hoping his voice alone could rewrite his sins and bring her back:
“Wait!”
She didn’t stop, didn’t turn, didn’t make any indication she’d even heard him.
“Please…Please just wait.” These were soft.
He fell to his knees on the marble, scooping up her wedding ring and enclosing it in his fingers, holding it to his forehead, and trying not to bring the sky down upon himself.
He’d seen her angry. He’d seen her sad. But this? Seeing her break for him…was so much worse.
It reminded him too much of another time. Of a scar on her stomach. How she broke herself just to be his.
—(And he wondered, for a fleeting moment, if it would have been better if he had been the one to break.)—
“There you are!” Said a voice. “You can come see her now,”—a cleared throat— “your Majesty.”
*
Notes: Aright, so this chapter had a few things I was unsure about I thought I’d ask about here!
1. Does anyone have any other clever play-on-words for candy brands? I feel like Zeus would know that she likes caramel in general, so it’d make more sense if Hades said “she likes [X similar candy] so she’d probably like Twyx.” But Twyx is all my brain came up with and I don’t even know that it’s all that good XD
2. I’m aware that the gods don’t call each other “people” they call each other “beings.” However, Hades’ lines don’t have as much impact with “beings.” Did the fact that I used “people” stick out too much? Should I change it to “beings”?
3. I know Ancient Greek wedding ceremonies are different from ours, and they might not even have wedding rings. But that image was so impactful for me I decided to use it. Should I remove it? Or did you find it impactful?
Please let me know if there’s anything you felt was inaccurate to their characters!!
Thanks so much for reading!! 💕💕
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xpeachesncream · 3 years
Text
acquainted | five
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> series masterlist <
summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.
pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin
genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)
words: 4.2k
warnings: implied sexual content, cussing / mature language, relationship issues, angst, club scene, alcohol consumption, intoxication, seokjin is ready to risk it all cause reader is a huge flirt, the love triangle mess shall begin
notes: AH IM SORRY, THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY?!? I TRIED to make this as fair as possible, but i..... clearly have an issue and just really wanted this to be messy lmao 
tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish​ @photographic-girl (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)
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"Waddup bro." Namjoon steps aside to let Jin in. "Wasn't expecting you to come by since we're seeing each other tonight." Jin chuckled.
"Fuck, that's right." Joon laughs as he hands Jin a bottle of water before sitting.
"What, you forgot? You planned this for your own stepbrother."
"No, I know. Just a lot of things going on." He sips on his water, manspreading in Namjoon's loveseat in the livingroom. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes, the headache he felt earlier this morning no longer as bad, but still lingered. After getting home last night, he had tried to push you out of his mind, but failed miserably. It didn't help that he really and genuinely tried to clear the air with Grace, only for her to push him off and sleep on the far end of their bed.
"You alright? What's going on? I feel like I haven't seen you this stressed in a really long time. Last time was probably when you were planning your proposal." Jin softly chuckles, his head still tilted back.
"Yeah, it's been quite the shit show lately."
"Can't be that bad, can it? Have you and Grace been fighting?"
"A tad."
"A tad? The way you're acting right now says it's much more than a tad."
"We've been distant. Busy. We don't do things together anymore." He shortens the shpeel cause quite frankly, he's tired of repeating the story even though he hasn't told many people.
"Why don't you guys talk about it?"
"We can't communicate properly. I try, she gets even more upset and blows me off."
"It's probably just a rough patch in your relationship. I'm sure if you just give each other enough space, you could figure out how to fix things and have a serious conversation about where you both are at and what you need from each other. Remind each other that you're a team, and not working against each other." Jin's slightly shot his head up, his eyebrow raised.
"That's actually pretty solid advice coming from you."
"Shut up, you need help right?" Joon laughs.
"You're right though, it's just been hard. I feel like we've been constantly pushing each other away."
"You two are stubborn."
"Yup, that too." Jin sipped his water.
"I know that's not the only thing on your mind." If it was anyone in Jin's circle, you could count on Namjoon to figure things out before you can even say anything to him. "It's a little hard to believe you came over here to tell me this." In which, he's right. Jin never really talked about his relationship problems, let alone did he go out of his way to tell his friends what was going on. It was more of a thing that naturally came up in conversation when they were all together.
"Don't know what you're talking about." Joon shakes his head.
"Who is she?" Jin watches Namjoon's curious eyes as he leans into the palm of his hand. He was trying to come up with excuses or find ways to see himself out of his conversation, but he couldn't. Namjoon was too smart for this. If it were Yoongi or Hoseok, maybe he could get away with it. The only thing that Jin can come up with is a stupid smirk before he shakes his head and breaks eye contact. "See."
"See what?"
"That smirk. You can't tell me I don't know that smirk. I've been there before, dude. Who is she?" He repeats, causing Jin to succumb to defeat.
"She's a grad student in my creative writing class." Namjoon pauses before he bursts out in laughter.
"I need to sit back and get comfy on my couch for this." He says leaning back and crossing his arms. "She's a grad student? What's her name?" Jin nods.
"Y/N. 25 and so fucking attractive. It's frustrating." Jin groans into his hands.
"And you're telling me you see her more than just a distraction? I mean, I have to ask cause you are going through a rough patch with Grace." Although this is definitely not what Namjoon agrees with, he was only going to advise Jin on how to approach things. But execution-wise, it was up to Jin because this was his life. Namjoon was only part of it.
"She's smart, and she's fun. And.. she's refreshing."
"What did she do to make you feel this way?"
"She kissed me. In my classroom. And," Jin swallows the lump in his throat. "It happened again last night. It almost escalated into other things. But she stopped it." He quickly says because he can see Namjoon's facial expression changing. "She stopped it and she put me in my place because it just made things even more complicated. She said that we should keep our distance from each other."
"Which, she's right Jin. You really can't be doing this." Namjoon says sternly. "Please don't be stupid. This can hurt alot of people, especially since you're still engaged to Grace."
"I know, but likeeeeee--"
"No but's." Joon shook his head. Honestly, he didn't expect this behavior from Jin and it concerned him. "I can't force you on how to act, that's solely up to you. But you need to understand that it has to be one or the other, it can't be both. You either try and work things out with Grace and leave Y/N alone, or you call it quits with Grace."
"Y/N has been occupying my mind lately and it's been hard to push her out."
"Maybe that should be a sign as to what you need to do?" Joon sighs. "I don't know. I don't know her, so I can't say much, but are you really ready to throw away all these years with Grace for her? Like, is it really that serious?" Jin shrugged.
"I don't know, she doesn't want this."
"Correction - she doesn't want this because you're engaged. It's obvious that things would be different if the circumstances changed."
"I love Grace. A lot. We've been through so many things together, lots of ups and downs that taught us things."
"Yeah, and I love you both. I love Grace like a sister. But you can't stick around just because of history and because you both are comfortable, if that's what it really comes down to. It's not fair for both parties. If you find out that this is the end of your relationship with Grace, then it's the end."
"I'm just torn."
"Look, whatever you do, know that I support you no matter what and I'm always going to be here for you. But please do this right, no matter what that is. You can't have both of them."
"Yeah I know, I hear you." Joon nods.
"You're selfish, you know that?" Joon laughs. "You couldn't even introduce her to your single friends?" Jin smiled.
"Nope. Finders keepers." Joon rose his middle finger. "Just do me a favor and keep your mouth shut until I tell Yoongi and Hoseok myself."
"Sure, whatever. Not my battle anyways." He stood up and stretched. "So, where are we taking your little Jungkookie tonight?"
"The club so he can get some for his birthday."
"What a good older brother." Jin laughed.
"Is Grace in New York already?"
"Yep. I'm probably just going to head home and sleep until then. I don't remember the last time I stayed up this late, let alone the last time I went to a club."
"Yeah go home, and not to Y/N's house."
"Should I?" Jin joked, but Namjoon rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding, don't worry. Everything didn't just go in one ear and out the other."
"Yeah, please reassure me and tell me that I didn't waste time giving you advice."
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"Oh my god, hurry up!" Jimin groaned loudly as he laid sloppily on your couch, getting restless while waiting for you, Ryujin and Taehyung to finish getting ready. To be fair, you all had been getting ready and fooling around for 2 hours, while Jimin sat patiently and watched whatever was on TV.
"Shut up, Jimin! I'm going to make sure I look good tonight." Ryujin yelled back.
"For who?"
"The dick I'll be getting."
"Why did I even ask?" Jimin sighed and dug his head into a pillow while you and Ryujin continued to yell and sing along loudly to every song that came through on your bluetooth speakers. "You all look good already, please, what else do you need to do?" He mumbled into the pillow. Don't get him wrong, he loves you all to death. He truly does. But it's just been such a long time since you all have gone out like this. He forgot what it was like.
"You know, she really means me." Taehyung tugged on his collar and swiped his thumb across his bottom lip.
"Okay, honestly. You two should probably fuck already. Get it out of your systems, you know?" You say as you dab lip gloss on your lips before shrugging and rolling your eyes. "Jesus Christ."
"Okay, no. You're supposed to be on my side, and that doesn't help." Ryujin's cheeks flush to a rosy tint as she pulls you aside. You knew damn well she was feeling embarrassed because it was true. She wanted to. Once Ryujin finally dusted herself off and was satisfied with her outfit, you both walked out into the living room to meet Jimin and Taehyung. Their eyes widened as they caught sight of you two, Ryujin in a pink, ruched dress with matching pink heels and you in a matching 2-piece skirt and low cut crop top.
"Oh shit, you both look good as hell." Taehyung says as he gets up and continues to eye both of you up and down. Mostly Ryujin, though. "Shall we head out?"
"Yup!" You say as you come to Jimin's side and lead the way out of your apartment. Jimin decided he'd drive tonight since he didn't feel like drinking too much, but he still wanted to go out and have fun. The crew headed to grab dinner at the Farmhouse Kitchen, which served the best Thai food in town. You all enjoyed some good grub, along with some really strong cocktails. You felt super happy that you all had time to finally do this since it's been a minute. You felt like you could finally let lose and get your mind off of things. The things that your dearest bestfriends don't even know about.
But, stories for other days. Tonight, you felt good and you looked good. You were all that and then some. Maybe tonight was the night you could meet a single, fine ass man to dance up on and act up with.
The cocktails were hitting you and Ryujin the most, already feeling tipsy before heading into the club.
"Wooooo!" Ryujin yelled before laughing out loud. "I'm ready!"
"Okay, yes, same, but please keep it together so we can at least make it inside the club." Jimin pleaded. He led your crew up to security, flashing your IDs one by one and paying for the cover fee before stepping in to the already packed nightclub. You and your friends ended up walking in a straight line, holding each other's hands to navigate through the crowd to the bottom floor. The top floor was the most crowded, being it was the house / EDM floor, while the bottom Hip Hop floor wasn't too jammed packed.
"Shots, my friends?" Taehyung asks as he swings over to the front of the bar. You follow behind him and line up against the bartender, asking for some good ol' Don Julio tequila. It wasn't your fave, but it was definitely Taehyung's go-to, and you can't lie, it got the job done quick for you. You all stick around the bar to take your shots, kicking them back to back [besides Jimin] to really get this night started.
As you waited for the final around, Taehyung is scanning the room and notices a group loudly making their way from down the steps and over to the bar. They were cheering on whoever the birthday boy was. A face in the group had looked familiar, so Taehyung squints his eyes to get a better look, and realizes its no other than Jin with his friends.
"Oh, shit! Look! Mr. Kim's here!" Taehyung laughs and says loudly, pointing towards the other end of the bar.
"Is he really?! Let's go take a shot with him and his friends!" Ryujin squeals as she sees him come into full view. You too, get a glimpse of him as they approach the bar and suddenly, you felt hot and nervous - the alcohol being of no help during this time. He looked good, and he didn't look like the already-handsome-professor you had. His hair was more natural, slightly curly, and almost like he had showered and let it messily air dry. The look was perfect on him. Not gonna lie, you were somewhat happy he was here to see how good you looked and part of you really wanted him to crave you until he couldn't take it anymore. You wanted to drive him crazy, and little did you know that you already were. It was a game you didn't mind playing, especially since you knew you couldn't have him.
You shouldn't.
"Ayeeeee! Mr. Kim!" Taehyung's ass yells with Ryujin cheering in the back. He does nothing but flash that smile of his while chuckling. His friends are all really handsome as well, one especially caught your eye with the way his wavy black hair fell down his eyes as he stood against the bar in black ripped jeans and a button up shirt. He seemed to be the youngest out of the group, but you were just assuming.
"Let's take a shot! On me!" Ryujin yells as she runs over with her loud ass. You follow behind her with Taehyung and Jimin, slightly hiding behind Jimin since you were feeling a little shy and awkward at this encounter. The events of the past days just flashed before your eyes, and you can feel Jin's eyes burning holes through you from your peripherals.
"These are your students?" You overhear as one of them looks behind at Jin and laughs.
"Yup." Is all he says, hands deep into his pockets.
"That's her isn't it?" Namjoon says in his ear, loud enough to make sure its clear over the music blasting. Jin simply looks at him without saying a word before returning his attention back on Jungkook, who he noticed was eyeing you. The look said everything to Namjoon.
"Do you know her?" Jungkook points at you and Jin nods.
"Why?"
"Why? She's gorgeous." His eyes light up, causing Namjoon to slightly choke and laugh behind Jin.
"Go for it." Is all Jin says. He's honestly livid right now, because the thought of someone else being able to get a taste of you while he hasn't fucks him up.
"Ohhh, boy." Namjoon sighs. "I hope you're truly over her or else it's going to get really fucked up, you know that right?"
"Don't worry about it." He says, dismissing him as he takes the shot from Yoongi's hand and immediately downs it.
"Hey." The black-haired cutie that caught your eye pushed his way through the group to come into full view. "I'm Jungkook."
"Y/N." You lightly shake his hand before tucking a strand behind your ear.
"I just wanted to say that you're absolutely gorgeous." He says cutely, his hands tucked into his pockets.
"Aw, thank you. That's so sweet."
"I, uh—"
"It's his 23rd birthday today!" One of the guys against the bar yells, grabbing Jungkook's shoulders and playfully massaging it.
"Yeah, it's his birthday Y/N! Give the boy some love!" Ryujin winked from where she was at.
"Happy Birthday." You chuckled as he nods.
"Thanks. Maybeeeee you can bless me with a dance after this shot?" He asked shyly. Boy, was he fucking attractive. You could see his thighs poking through the rips of his jeans, his sharp collarbone poking out from the unbuttoned portion of his shirt and his arm muscles defined even in the dark.
"Yeah, I'd love to." You leaned back against the bar as he stood next to you, waiting for the round of shots to come. "Are these your friends?" He chuckled.
"More like big brothers? That's Yoongi, that's Hoseok and that's Namjoon. They're Jin's friends. Jin is my stepbrother." You swallowed the lump in your throat as you quickly glance at Jin, who's side-eyeing you as he leans against the bar. You have got to be fucking kidding me. God was truly testing you.
"Ohhhh." You respond. "That's sweet of them to take you out."
"I honestly didn't wanna do much, let alone come to the club. It's not really my thing, but I'm glad I did or else I wouldn't have met you." He smiled, his smile being just as perfect as his stepbrother's.
"I'm glad I could make your birthday a good one after all." Ryujin suddenly comes to your side and gives your arm a good squeeze.
"He's a cutie! You better hop on that since Mr.Kim is taken." She says in your ear, pulling you into a hug.
"That's his stepbrother."
"Even better!" She exclaims, making you shake your head. You all gather and take the last round of shots in honor of Jungkook's birthday and shit gets wild, quick. Your group led them to the dance floor, partying together like you had known them since forever. It didn't feel awkward at all knowing it was Jin and group of friends, but it did get awkward when you felt the tension with Jin every time you were near him. He didn't like seeing you dance all up on his stepbrother, getting all handsy and touchy-feely when just the other night, you were straddling his lap, ready to risk it all.
Hell, what was he gonna do though? He couldn't do shit. Not with his people around, especially Namjoon.
You knew this. He didn't have to say anything for you to know he wasn't a fan of it. You'd catch him looking at you throughout the night, his eyes hungry and almost dark. Let's get this straight - there's no bad blood here. You're not mad or bitter [slightly]. You're just having your fun because you're single and can do whatever the fuck you want. You know he wants you, what's wrong with a little tease?
A couple of songs have passed and Ryujin has made her way through Taehyung, Yoongi and Namjoon, and now she was back to doing her own thing on the dance floor. Jimin has had a couple of ladies welcome themselves onto his lap, and he gladly accepted. You loved seeing Jimin have fun and you especially loved when girls swooned at the sight of him because he was deserving of it and he was mighty good looking. He always worked hard and never gave himself a break.
You, on the other hand, had been stuck to the hip with Jungkook and you had brought him deeper into the dance floor, away from the group just to get a little alone time. You had danced up on him majority of the night, his muscular arms always gently bringing you back against his body. You both were feeling some type of way with the alcohol running through your veins, but you weren't complaining one bit. Alcohol or not, Jungkook was fine.
"So, are you going to let me take you out on a date?" Jungkook asks in your ear, causing you to bite onto your bottom lip.
"I'd love to go out on a date with you." You face him, his smile going from ear to ear as he nods and starts taking down your number. To be honest, you could be here all night with him, but you decided you needed a break from all this dancing and from the crowded dance floor. You quickly excuse yourself to the bathroom, suddenly needing to break the seal really badly and freshen up. As you were exiting the bathroom, Jin was also exiting the men's bathroom at the same time. You both locked eyes, with you breaking the contact with a small, toothless smile before walking off.
"Y/N." He says, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you back towards him. His body is against the back wall, both of your groups distant and not as visible from where you're standing. He looks down at you, his hand still wrapped around your wrist.
"Jin."
"You haven't said one word to me all night."
"I'm trying to keep my distance from you, remember?"
"You know that's not necessary." His hand was now on the small of your back, fingers gently caressing your back in small circles.
"It is. You know what you do to me." You say as you look down at his lips. Truthfully.
"And so do you." You can feel his breath against your skin and it sends goosebumps down your entire body. You're trying your hardest right now to not get turned on by this man, let alone throw yourself onto him. "This isn't fair, you know?"
"I gotta get back to everyone." You say, slightly pulling back.
"Just for the record," He gently pulls you back, his other hand lifting your chin. "Jungkook might have you right now, but I know in the end you'll be coming home to me and that's all that matters." He lets go of your wrist and walks away, leaving you slightly dumbfounded at the way he stood his ground like that. Your panties felt soaked, and you wanted nothing more but to ride this man into the next dimension. He was truly testing you, and quite frankly, you could burst any minute now.
"You okay?" Jimin says, lightly squeezing your arm. "You were gone for awhile."
"Yeah, long line." You lied.
"We're thinking about heading out, you good with that?" You nod silently. You look around to see Ryujin flirting with Yoongi and Namjoon, making you shoot him a look. "Not me, all you. Go get her." He shakes his head, chuckling.
"Alright, I need to say bye to Jungkook anyways."
"Oooh, Jungkook." He wiggles his eyebrows. You make your way over to the area that Jin and his friends are occupying, prying Ryujin's drunk ass away. You give Jungkook a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, letting him know you'd be waiting for his text.
Finally, you all headed out of the club and into Jimin's car, Ryujin being the first drop off of the night. Thank God he had decided to drive, because all three of you were still pretty tipsy and in no condition to get behind the wheel.
"Y/N, listen to me. You need to hop on Jungkook because he's fine as fuck!" Ryujin's drunk ass yells in the backseat as Jimin is making his way to her house.
"Ouch, Ry, stop kicking my chair." Jimin whines.
"Y/N, did you hear me?"
"I hear you loud and clear, Ry. Thank you." You laugh.
"And you, Jimin! I hope you grabbed a ton of numbers because there were tons of pretty ladies feeling you tonight and you need a girl!"
"Perfect, thank you for pointing out how single I am." He says, making Taehyung snorts.
"What about me?"
"Shut up, Tae. You don't need shit. Mind your own business." You and Jimin laugh in your seats.
"Also, Mr. Kim was really eyeing the hell out of you tonight, Y/N." She adds, making you sigh silently to yourself.
"Actually, I concur." Jimin chimes in. "He couldn't keep his eyes off of you."
"Mistress Y/N." Taehyung calls out, causing you to turn and pinch him on the leg. If you haven't gotten it by now, Tae loves to tease the fuck out of you by calling you a mistress. It's been his thing since you got all googly-eyed for him. And you hated it. You truly wanted to fight him every single time.
"It was nothing. He was probably just drunk."
"Sure." Jimin responds. "Call it what you want, he was definitely feeling you tonight." The ride goes silent, which, you're happy that none of them are pressing on it. You were not trying to get caught up at this moment.
Ryujin gets dropped off before Jimin makes his way to your apartment, parking in the yellow passenger/loading zone. Taehyung is knocked out in the back seat, while Jimin throws his hazards on and walks you to the front door of the lobby.
"Thanks for driving, Chim." He smiles and pulls you into a hug.
"No prob. Call me if you need me?" You nod. You walk in and get into the elevator, Jimin and his car disappearing in sight. You take a deep breath and sigh because you had been having an internal battle since the moment you stepped out of the club.
You were losing.
You stepped out of the elevator, only to step into your apartment to quickly freshen up and throw on comfier clothes. You find yourself heading back downstairs to meet your Uber. You knew exactly where you were going and you knew exactly what you were doing.
But you didn't give a fuck. You had been dying to get your needs fulfilled and the only person you wanted was a quick 25 minute Uber trip away.
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morizoras-cave · 4 years
Text
Pick Me Up (Request)
Tom Holland x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Jake Gyllenhaal x gn!teen!co-star!reader
Genre: angst, fluff
Request Description: tom holland! x teen!costar!reader and jake gyllenhaal x teen!costar!reader where the reader occasionally attends school irl. one day after school, the reader doesn't show up on set and everyone starts worrying. tom and jake try to call her and when she finally answers, she's crying and asking them to pick her up. they meet her and find out that she's been attacked by hater/bullies and they both get super mad and protective. thank you!
Warnings: bullying, insecurity, depression, violence, physical assault, language
(A/N): there will be an a/n tomorrow. i will probably be taking a break from writing for a little bit (like a week or two i estimate). im starting at a boarding school, and i really want to adjust and not force myself to write right at the start. anyway more details will be released tomorrow
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You were always picked on. Ever since you were very small, kids had always loved pushing you around and teasing you. Nothing changed as you got older. You’d think that perhaps being casted in a movie would change something. It just didn’t.
It wasn’t a great feeling, that you were destined to be a loser. It just seemed that no one liked you. Or at least no one liked you enough to stand up to your bullies. 
When you were cast in a Marvel movie, you thought that you would get a vacation from that endless tormenting. Of course, you knew you’d be doing homework and assignments a your hotel still, but not physically being there was the dream for you.
Even that didn’t pan out. Your school was strict. Thankfully, the personnel at Marvel negotiated with them, and a schedule was made. You had three real-life school days each month. It was better but your bullies still seemed determined to stay on your mind. 
They never lay a finger on you. Nothing beyond pushing and tripping ever happened. That’s why it was so shocking, when one day in the break, someone slapped you right across the face.
Then you felt a push, a kick, and a punch, and after that it all muddled into a painful rain of blows to your body. You were crouched in the grass behind the school, and seven kids were kicking and hitting you, some of them spitting on you.
“You little bitch!”
“Do you think just ‘cause you’re in a movie, you’re suddenly worth something?”
“This bitch thinks they’re better than us now.”
“Let’s show them how fucking pathetic they really are!” 
You didn’t know when you started crying. Probably immediately. It was hard to keep track of yourself and everyone around you, when you were so overwhelmed. It was hard to process the situation, so you rather just tried to live through it. At some point they left, and you didn’t. You kept lying there, sobbing, clutching your stomach and aching body. It felt like you were on fire. 
Meanwhile, that particular day you actually had to come to set and film after school, something that thankfully didn’t happen often (as it was kind of stressful to do both in one day). You were running late.
“Is Y/n here yet?” someone yelled throughout the set. The director was sitting in his chair, rubbing his head and tapping his foot impatiently. “No!” it came from the other side of set. 
While most of the set workers were pretty pissed that you weren’t there, your costars, the people who’d gotten to know you the best, were worried. You were punctual. One time, when you lost track of time doing homework, you ran to set, to get there on time. In other words, something was definitely wrong. 
“I’ve sent them, like, 70 messages,” Tom mumbled, scrolling through your conversation on messenger. Your costars were gathered together on set, sitting or standing in a circle and waiting. 
“This isn’t like them,” Zendaya shook her head worryingly. The other people in the circle mumbled in agreement. The set was unorganized, chaotic, people were dashing back and forth everywhere. Things could not go forward without you present. 
“I’m gonna call them,” Jake said finally, convinced after watching a set worker look at a clipboard, widen their eyes, and then massage their temples cartoonishly. 
He whipped out his phone and clicked on your number. Ringing ensued. The others actors watched him, aching to know what was wrong. 
“Hello?” 
Jake knew immediately that something was very wrong. His mind was already racing, wondering what could’ve gotten you so upset. Your voice was snotty and shaking. You sounded like you’d been crying. 
“Hi, N/n. How are you doing? You okay?” Jake’s voice was gentle, but he couldn’t stop the overflow of questions coming form his mouth. His chest rumbled with worry. 
“I’m- I- I’m not alright. Can you.. Can you pick me up?” your voice, thought gravelly and low, was somehow still the softest thing he’d ever heard. You sounded so vulnerable. 
“Of course. Of course I’ll come. Where are you?” Jake made eye contact with a couple of the actors, whose faces were now twisted into concerned frowns and furrowed brows.
“At school.” 
“Alright, I’ll come get you now, can you wait outside?” 
Jake ran to his car, Tom trailing right behind him. 
“What happened to her? Jake, wait up!” 
When they got to you, you looked so small, crying and shaking on the sidewalk. Your arms and legs and your face were red. 
“What happened to you?” Jake exclaimed, practically jumping out of the car, and crouching down beside you. You looked up at him, clenching your jaw. Your eyelashes were dripping. 
“These kids.. They.. They beat me up,” you sobbed, hiding your face in your arms again. Jake frowned, heart clenching. He gently placed a hand on your back, and then pulled you into a careful hug. 
Tom was shaking, watching you. His heart physically hurt seeing you like that, but mostly he just wanted to beat up those kids. He wanted to make them pay. 
“Tom, calm down,” Jake whispered to him, gesturing to you in his arms. Tom softened. He knew that beating them up would do nothing. They had to focus on you. For now.
Tom crouched down as well, so they were both hugging you and rubbing your back. You, aching and feeling worthless, unable to handle it by yourself, felt yourself eased at their presence. It felt almost like everything would be fixed with them there.
You pulled away, no longer crying. Now everything just hurt. 
“What are the names of the kids?” Tom’s voice was gravelly, as soon as you pulled back. It seemed like he had maintained some of the initial anger. 
“Tom, I-”
“I don’t want to fight about this, Y/n. Give me their names. I’m fucking serious,” Tom, although angry, was still holding onto your hand for dear life. His thumb brushed over the back of your hand invitingly. You looked to Jake, but he wasn’t going to help you protect those kids. 
You told them their names. At least the ones who usually bullied you and the ones whose voices you recognized. You could tell that ‘usually bullied’ angered Tom and Jake. 
“How long has this been going on?” Jake asked and his voice was much softer than Tom. You scoffed. 
“Way longer than I’ve known you guys!” you were actually getting annoyed at this point. What did they think you were going to beg them for help, so they could magically fix your life? 
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Tom blurted out. His feelings were stronger than his head. He clenched your hand.
“I didn’t want to be unprofessional! I didn’t- I didn’t want to be a bother!” 
“Well, I think the friendship we all share is more than professional. We’re friends, Y/n. You should tell friends when you’re bothered by something! Because look at you now-” his voice broke. Tom choked up, eyes red as a single tear slid down his face. He wiped it away. Guilt coated your insides, bile rising in your throat. 
Every inch they could see was bruised. Your eyes were puffy, and you were sitting on the sidewalk helplessly. You were beaten down. No one wants to see their friend like that. 
“Alright,” Jake cleared his throat, “how about we go back to the hotel now? I’ll make a few calls with the set and your parents, and we’ll make sure those kids aren’t there the next time you go to school. And we’ll get some ice for those bruises.”
You didn’t answer for a moment. Then you nodded. 
Jake did exactly that, whilst you lay on your bed, holding ice to your arms, and wrapped in your duvet. Tom hugged you there silently, Jake talking in the other room. 
“Don’t hide that stuff,” Tom mumbled tiredly. You nodded, “Let’s go to sleep.”
“I agree,” and then you both fell asleep like it was nothing. When Jake had finished the dozens of phone calls, he came back into your room, only to see you and Tom asleep in an adorable hug. He smiled, because despite your awful experience that day, you looked so happy with your friend. Jake knew you would be okay before you even knew it yourself, but he was right. You would be okay. :)
___________________________
Tag List:
@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel @idk123906
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expired-blueberries · 3 years
Note
Ooh what’s the headcanon for frank tennyson you mentioned in the tags in that one post??
okay so forgive the delay in answering but i wanted to rewatch the single episode we ever saw frank in (What Are Little Girls Made Of, aka the one where we first see verdona) just so i could be sure i had my facts straight lol
ANYWAY this is actually gonna be a two part answer, but ill put the headcanons in a list and then ill put more of an analysis (not really an analysis because i dont have time but more of a rambling of my thoughts lol) under a readmore 
- i cant remember if its canon that frank is a lawyer or not. i feel like i remember it being mentioned in canon once but im not positive. so if thats not canon then thats the headcanon
- following that, lawyers work long hours; frank probably isnt at home very often (and we also know this because he only shows up in One. Single. Episode), opting instead to work late at the office. 
- my guess is that natalie is more of the disciplinarian both because of his long house but also because natalie is more uptight than frank is. frank has to be some measure of Not Uptight by virtue of his upbringing with verdona (if he were completely rigid in all things he Would Have Snapped at this point) 
basically frank just isnt in gwens life as often as would be best. i am NOT absolving him of the blame, he 100% should have told gwen of their alien heritage and took more of an interest in her life, but theres only so much time in the day i guess and at the end of it if your only daughter is healthy and seemingly happy, theres only so much you can do.
- also my last headcanon (that does not in any way relate to the previous headcanons) is that frank (and carl and ken and ben) DOES have anodite energy locked away inside of him, but that anodite dna is dormant... until its given a reason not to be. (remember, frank can sense when verdona is around even when shes invisible, despite, in verdonas words, ‘not having the spark’ 
 gwen was able to learn magic and use powers BECAUSE she was exposed to high levels of magic (hex and charmcaster fights when she was 10, along with the charms of bezel)  and also high levels of STRESS (literally her entire life). frank and carl were both kept in the dark about max being a plumber; they both knew he had a double life but they werent sure what it was (carl says this in the episode Grounded, the one where bens parents find out about the omnitrix). frank and carl all told have a pretty calm life, even when they were kids, and despite being around verdona and her mana for some of the time (i imagine she was still just a free spirited then, and probably especially as they got older and were more capable of taking care of themselves, she probably stayed around less and less until she finally left them). if they were put under a high level of stress and a more constant stream of mana, then they would unlock their powers. frank has gwen around, but low stress. carl has decidedly more stress (remember the highbreed fight? also his son is literally the most famous, and most sought after person in the galaxy), but a lower stream of mana. i imagine the omnitrix probably lcoks down the anodite dna so it can keep the human dna sample (ben) as close to human as possible. ken, now in college, has zero mana stream near him, but a relatively high amount of stress (both the dnalien attack and also, just, college). i imagine he might unlock his powers if he were to ever become a plumber and spend more time with gwen. 
when i rewatched the episode, one of the things that stood out to me was frank commenting on not being allowed into gwens room for ‘quite some time.’ thats pretty normal for a teen, but then we remember that gwen has been studying magic for the last five years, since she was ten, so i think thats probably originally when she stopped letting him into her room, so that she could hide her spellbooks and magical artifacts etc. BUT we also know that frank is the one that she invites into her room and the one she tells about meeting with verdona. she DOESNT invite natalie into the room, despite natalie being just downstairs. gwen trusts her dad more than her mom and believes he wont dismiss her concerns (he does dismiss her magic ‘hobby’ but then goes on to explain that there is no such thing as magic, just aliens, so im willing to let that one slide) .
frank smiles when gwen talks about possibly going with verdona, then frowns when natalie talks about ‘wishing [gwen] had taken after [natalies] side of the family’, but then smiles when gwen talks about going again, and says they wont stand in her way. more than anything, including his interactions with verdona, this tells me he (and natalie) have been thinking on this for a long time. he says he and natalie had both thought gwen wasnt an anodite since she hadnt shown any sign of the spark by alien force, but my guess is that, like his mother leaving for anodyne as soon as carl and frank were out of the house (probably late teens or early 20s), he expected that if gwen WERE to be an anodite, she would follow the same path. gwen, however, is sad that they ‘wont stand in her way’. 
gwen needs to feel like shes wanted around. her parents arent telling her to go, but they arent telling her to stay; same with ben. later in the episode, gwen talks about loving her life, but she specifically mentions crime fighting and hobbies, not bringing up family. she isnt as close with her parents as she could/should be, same for them with her. 
theres a few things throughout the episode (usually done or said by verdona) that hint at the type of life frank had growing up. verdona talks multiple times about frank not having the spark, even saying ‘there was nothing [she] could do’ in regards to him at one point. verdona refuses to listen to gwen not wanting to leave at first, dismissing it as a tantrum. she outright says that 16 is too young to make up a mind. verdona is curt with kevin because he isnt an energy being, and doesnt really care for anything ben has to say because hes the same way. once she left, verdona hadnt visited the family for ‘quite some time’, presumably ever since ben and gwen were born, and once she noted they werent anodites, she left again. 
basically, frank (and carl) grew up with a dad with a double life (which they knew about but were NEVER told the NATURE of, not until they forcibly found out during af) and a freespirited mother who seems hung up on her children not being what she wants them to be, and who left as soon as she could. frank, i imagine, probably had to take care of carl a lot as the older brother, especially with a flighty mother around. frank doesnt seem to harbor any hard feelings towards verdona, but seems to take it more as a ‘this is the way she is, there is no changing it’ sort of way. so i guess frank is more used to having to go with the flow than anything else 
(this isnt a jab at verdona - she was away from her home planet and her people, she and her husband were growing apart, and neither of her children were like her; she was effectively alone and i dont necessarily blame her for wanting to leave. granted, i still think she was probably in the wrong more than in the right, but still.) 
listen im SO sorry this is so jumbled i wanted to organize it better but its 7 am and i havent slept yet lol 
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lilyclawthorne · 3 years
Text
Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts
I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode
"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh
"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.
anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid
Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid
Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety
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I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.
lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time
Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)
ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)
new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!
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..yikes that fridge is empty
"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here
confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)
please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺
"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think
witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)
ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that
she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.
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"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she
ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years
I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.
Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years
hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't
Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠
SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??
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"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing
also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔 
Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne
ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.
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wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason
also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.
PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms
"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.
Also, nice snatch Luz 😊
anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here
EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????
"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy
Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.
PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED
but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??
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Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.
HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??
"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???
anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here
Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude
ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue
no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now
Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child
Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.
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GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)
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"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.
ok but this is sweet
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NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok
"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this
"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.
I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways
"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.
alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu
NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he
Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.
AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO
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ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(
well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend
anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore
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cloudykaii · 4 years
Text
Care
pairing: bts x eighth member!reader [platonic]
summary:  omg i just real some of your eight member scenarios and eveerything was so good!! i wasnt into eight member things before but now.. im super in! 😭 can you do a scenario about compilation of the members little caring act on stage, backstage, when theres camera or not, something like that to the eight members?? if you make it then i would be so delighted. than you !!
warnings: none, it’s just really fluff :( some of it might not make sense, but i really love this
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A lot of things could be said about your brothers. Each and every one of them had their moments and mistakes, just like you did. Some people would call them rude, or selfish amongst other things, but the one thing they could never say, is that they didn’t care about you. ARMY pointed it out all the time; they even had compilations of moments the eight of you cared for each other, but your favorite were the ones titled things like: “six minutes of proof that bts’ world revolves around y/n.”
Jin jumped as your head fell against his bicep. You were at an afterparty for an awards show the eight of you had been asked to present at. The music wasn’t too loud- you used to joke that it was because everyone knew rich people liked to brag. You had no idea where the rest of your brothers were but you and Jin had been perched on the oddly comfortable sofa as he socialized. He could feel your hairpins digging into his shoulder. 
“Y/N, are you okay?” You didn’t answer and he moved slightly so that he could reach across and tap your arm, but you moved with him. He felt your even breathing and sighed. You still had around two hours left before they could leave. 
One of the girls he had been talking to chuckled as you gave a tiny shiver in your sleep. “She must be tired.”
He smiled at her before slipping off his blazer to cover you with it. “She works hard, sometimes I think she works harder than the rest of us,” he chuckled, pulling you closer so that he could make sure she was comfortable. 
No one knows how a fan account had that video trending on twitter under the hashtag #BabyY/N three days later. 
✦✧✦✧
One bad thing about being the only girl in an idol group, is that sometimes you get the least amount of consideration. Not because they didn’t respect you or anything like that, it’s just that after styling for seven boys, you think sometimes the staff tends to forget you are not a guy, or maybe they had never seen a girl in real life.
Or at least that’s what the short dress you were wearing had you feeling like. It’s not like it wasn’t pretty, a black skirt and connected by a thin, white lacy strip that wrapped around your abdomen. It was gorgeous, and the silky ribbon of a choker around your neck made it look even better, but it was just.. so short. 
You powered through like a trooper, despite the fear in the back of your mind that you were flashing the entire audience while you danced. The minute the song stopped and everyone moved to get a drink of water, Yoongi was taking his jacket off and tying it around your waist. 
Not speaking into the mic, you let him do as he wanted but asked, “Are you even allowed to do that? Won’t the stylist say something about how you ruined her outfit?”
Tightening the knot of material, he rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I don’t give a fuck what the stylist has to say right now. Not only is your outfit not okay, but it’s obviously making you uncomfortable. You can wear this until the next outfit change.”
“Thank you,” you hugged him briefly, glad he had your back. 
✦✧✦✧
There was a time where you guys were recording a live during a long break while at practice. Fans talked about it for ages afterwards. Taehyung sat against one of the mirrors, holding his phone, while Jimin was in the picture beside him. 
“Basically, that’s it. We haven’t really-”
“Y/N, stop running around, you’re going to hurt yourself!” Jimin’s voice cut in, making the other man look over. 
“What is she doing?”
Jimin huffed, “I have no idea, but she’s going to- Y/N, at least t- no actually come here, I’ll do it for you.”
And when you bounced into the view of the camera, only for all the fans to see Jimin pulling your foot to him so he could tie your shoe. “Be careful this time, even if you’re playing tag.”
✦✧✦✧ 
Jeongguk laughed at the camera, the comments being ridiculous. He was doing a live, answering questions about the embarrassing moments he chose to talk about. “No, it was funny! He fell, but then he tried to play it off by doing pushups, but he feel while trying to do that, so-”
He heard the door open in the background, and the camera saw him turn to the side just before he let out an “oomf.” The side profile of your face was visible to the viewers as you moved to curl against him on the bed. You rubbed your eyes sleepily, and he frowned. “It’s really late, you’re supposed to be asleep.”
You mumbled, “I was, but then I got scared and woke up. I didn’t want to be alone.” He pouted at that. You tended to have nightmares whenever you were stressed, and since he was the one who found out about them first, he was usually the person you ran to. 
“Do you wanna sleep in here?” He asked softly. Everyone tuned in could hear everything, but your brother barely remembered that he was even recording as he fussed over you. You nodded, already drifting off on his shoulder. He smiled down at you before turning back to the camera. He read the many comments of everyone cooing over you. “Yeah, she’s alright. I’ll tell her to tell you guys herself tomorrow. Anyways..” 
✦✧✦✧
Of course, there were incidents that were more serious. 
The sun was setting, which made the perfect picture for the shoot you guys were about to do. The rooftop everyone was on was beautiful and stone, the kind of background you saw in movies. The sun seemed to glitter, and the wind made everything sway until the lake’s seemingly glittering waves caught your eye. “Whoa,” you gasped, moving closer to get a look.
“Y/N-”
You waved off Taehyung’s warning. “I’ll be careful! I just want to get a closer look!” You walked back over to the edge, admiring the way the sun sparkled on the water. You subconsciously leaned closer, moving your body a little too far against the thin railing, but before you could topple over, a hand grabbed the back of your jacket with a tight grip, yanking you back until you were a good distance away from the railing. 
Your back hit someone else’s and you recognized Taehyung as you turned to see him. He stared down at you. “I said be careful!” 
“I’m sorry,” you said a little shakily. Taehyung sighed before pulling you back into a hug. “Having a little sister is so hard, you’re not leaving my sight for the rest of the day.”
✦✧✦✧
Another moment fans loved to talk about actually happened at a fansign. You smiled brightly as the next fan came up to you, following the line. “Hello!” you greeted happily. 
Something about this girl threw you off though, and the look in her eyes had you unintentionally leaning away from her. You couldn’t decipher it, but when nothing happened, you told yourself you were just overthinking it. She was probably just excited to meet what could have been her favorite artist group, right? 
You stood by Hoseok as the fansign ended, moving to follow him out of then venue. He chuckled as he looked at you. “You have that look.”
You wrinkled your nose. “What look?” 
“The one that says you’re hungry,” he teased, poking you in the stomach, making you whine. “Well, maybe-”
“Y/N!” You turned around, cutting yourself off mid sentence, to see the fan from earlier. “I found you.” Her smile was a little too bright as she reached for you, only for Hoseok to push you behind him as you stuttered out, “I’m sorry, we really have to go.” 
You moved to attempt to leave after that, but her demeanor quickly changed. Her face changed from too happy and delighted, to dark and angry. Her eyes narrowed, and she reached for you more aggressively this time. “Don’t be son ungrateful,” she squeezed your wrist painfully and you cried out as security finally made their way over. 
Hoseok immediately pulled you to him, looking at the rapidly forming bruise on your wrist. Even though at the moment, it was just a large red mark, his face still tightened. “This never should have happened,” he cursed when he noticed tears in your eyes. 
He pulled you into a hug as he waited for the rest of your brothers to show up. “It won’t happen again,” he promised you. 
✦✧✦✧
The moment that was probably the most talked about, was when a talk show host felt the need to ask you how it felt. Namjoon shared a glance with you. 
“Excuse me?” you asked timidly, straightening up. 
The interviewer turned to you. “Oh, you speak English! I was just asking how it felt to be so similar to a child all the time.” The man’s tone of voice didn’t even change, but the idea that he had expected Namjoon to translate this to you, and now casually asked you as if there was nothing wrong with the question. “You know, they’re always taking care of you, it makes it seem like you can’t do anything by yourself. Does it ever irritate you?”
You tried laughing it off, the chuckle leaving your lips as you ticked a strand of hair behind your ear awkwardly. “Not really. They’re not doing anything to be condescending, and I know that.”
“Do you feel like that is because you need their help?”
“That’s enough,” Namjoon cut in, his jaw clenched as he slid forward a little in his seat as if to help get his point across. “Y/N is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. We pitch in to check on her because we love and care about her, and she does the same for us. She is not a child but a grown woman who we love and care about enough to make sure she’s okay and gets the nice treatment she deserves. With all due respect, if you insult our sister again, we will be forced to cut this short.”
You looked over to him, offering a silent thank you as the interviewer coughed, trying to recover. The bad news was that this interview was live, so he really couldn’t do anything but sit there and realized he had just embarrassed himself. 
Honestly, what else is there to say? You loved and cared about your brothers, and they loved and cherished you. 
464 notes · View notes
horansqueen · 4 years
Text
You & Me : chapter 50
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
(FINAL CHAPTER)
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49
THANK YOU’S
I can't explain how much AM Conversations and YOU&ME has meant to me. This was a story I started just for fun after I realized how much I loved Niall. After only a few chapters, i almost let it die. It took me 4 years to decide to continue it again, despite knowing back then that no one cared or was interested to read. I don't know how I got lucky enough that you guys actually gave this story a chance. And I can't thank you enough for trusting me. I hope I entertained you through the past year and a half, and I really hope I made you go through a bunch of emotions, good and bad. I don't think all of you realize how happy you made me feel with the likes, the reblogs, the comments, the feedback and the ideas you sent me. It made me want to write more, it made me want to continue this story and actually finish it.
And here I am. It's the very first time I actually finish a story. two books. 105 chapters. Over 440k words. I can't pretend I'm not proud of this. This story will always be my baby, my favorite. And all of you who took time in your busy days to read and comment it mean more to me than I can ever explain.
I love you guys. I love you so much. I can't seem to express how grateful I am.
Julie ( @paynesqueen​ ): thank you for brainstorming with me almost every week. thank you for all your ideas, and all the help you gave me through the year I wrote these books. even when in quarantine, we'd talk for hours on the phone and you'd be there to help me. thank you for your big heart, thank you for being an incredible friend that I can always count on, thank you for listening to all my sad shit and feelings even if i know I rarely share because i feel stupid. thank you so so so so much! you're one of my best friends, and im so glad i have you in my life!
Isa ( @sushiniall​ ): you are such a beautiful persons. idk if we would have started talking if it wasnt from this story. i like to think that we would, but i can never be sure. thank you for always commenting, sending ideas, liking and reblogging. As a writer, it blows up my heart that someone would be so kind, and as a friend, it makes me want to cry. you're amazing, youre incredible, and you were always always there to cheer me up and tell me that I had talent, It made me keep going and I can never thank you enough for that. I love you. I really really do.
Laila ( @liallerr​ ) : what can i say? you've always been there for me, to make me feel better and to tell me how much you loved my writing. thank you for being such an incredible person. and thank you for being so patient with me whenever i'd message you (even if it wasnt about this story). thank you for never judging me, and for your beautiful friendship. I really hope I bring to you as much joy as you bring in my life. im so happy we met, im so glad we started talking.  i love you so so much, youre like a little sister to me. thank you for always commenting and reading my story. thank you for being you, because i cant think of a better quality in someone. thank you.
@ewhkylie​: you were always one of the first to comments every single chapter. how can i not thank you for being so loyal and giving my story a chance. i saw all the efforts you made into commenting. and every single time, it made me smile. youre amazing, thank you so much!
@llainnaroh​: thank you so much! your tags always made me smile! thank you!
@bamb11​: thank you for always caring and reading!!! youre amazing!
@behind-my-hazeleyes27​: i saw you reblog with tags or comments every time... thank you so much!
special thanks to you guys who reblogged, commented, or messaged me so often! thank you! i noticed every time!
thanks to you guys! @beachsecrets​ @wasteddarlinglover​ @torismusing @sunsetter96​ @bunbun9396 @missy14us​ @mannien​ @cybermugneckpsychic​ @mariamorris913​ @sunshine-sma​ @mypugsley​ @loulouloueh​ @awomanindeniall​ @tylkotroche​
and many many more! (im so sorry if i forgot you!)
thank you to all of you who liked and reblogged my chapters. thank you to those who recommended my stories to their friends or on your blog. thank you to the person(s) who nominated me for the 1d craft awards. thank you so much, you're all amazing!
thank you so so much to all of you who sent me anons about my chapters or the story as a whole. thank you for taking the time to do that. i love every single one of you even if i don't know who you are. just know that waking up with comments and feedback from you in my inbox made me smile every single time!
thank you to every single one of you who ever sent an idea or a request, even if i may not have used them. please know that it's not because your ideas weren't great, but just because it didnt fit in the story. (i received almost 300 requests/ideas for the 2 stories!)
thank you to the 41 persons who asked to be notified when this story was updated. I never thought it would be that many, and every single time i send you guys the link im amazed by how many of you actually care! thank you!
thank you to all of you, the silent readers. those who never messaged me, sent me comments or requests... i don't know who you are, but I know there are some of you out there. i hope at some point you get less shy and send me a comment or two!
i'm extremely thankful for all the love i received, and i'll never forget this. thank you everyone for following me in this crazy adventure. i love you all.
Olivia 💗
Chapter 50 (final chapter)
OLIVIA
I felt Niall's lips brush the skin of my neck and my lips curled. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I chuckled low, tilting my head to allow him to kiss me more. We had been back from our trip to Vegas for about a week, and had intentionally and very carefully ignored the messages and calls we had gotten. All we did was send an invitation for a party to everyone we knew, including our parents, along with plane tickets. We had taken hotel reservations for them and made sure their stay would be perfect. Everything was ready, everything was planned, and all the persons we loved the most in the world were going to be present. I was extremely stressed and as usual, Niall was totally relax about it. I had no idea how he did it, but the fact that he was so calm and laid-back helped me relax, too.
"This is amazing." he let out, pecking my skin more. "Everyone that really matters will be there."
"I hate talking in front of people, you know that." I whined, raising my nose up in a grimace.
"But everyone who'll be there actually loves you, petal." he argued, running his hands gently and slowly up my arms. "I love you the most and I'll be standing right next to you."
"How do you think they're react?"
"Mm, our moms will cry, our dads will laugh, our friends will scream and Louis will curse."
I let out a louder laughter, making Niall chuckle against my neck.
"You told him, didn't you?"
"I showed him the ring but I didn't tell him when I was going to ask you, or that we would just fly to Vegas to get married." he shrugged. "I just left him there and ran to you."
I smiled fondly and turned around in his arms to face him, tilting my chin and licking my lips as I stared in his eyes. He was wearing a tie and I gripped it gently, pulling on it. He had convinced me to wear a dress even if I knew I'd feel uncomfortable the whole evening but I knew I couldn't just wear sweatpants to this event, even if I desperately wanted to.
"How's my make up?" I finally asked, raising my eyebrows, after a few minutes of silence.
"On point." he replied, making me laugh.
"You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?" I asked as he pulled me closer by the waist.
"No idea. None."
I laughed more and he bent down to kiss me gently. "All I know is that you're beautiful. You always are." he whispered, brushing his lips against mine again.
"You're so full of shit, Horan." I breathed back against his mouth, my lips curling slightly.
"I mean it." he insisted very low, his arms slipping around my waist as he pressed my body against his. "You're the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. You shine so much, you glow, my love."
I giggled and he smiled, moving his face slightly away to look at me. My smile faltered a bit and turned into a fond one. I wanted to stay right there, in our living room, as he'd hold me close, but I knew we had somewhere to be.
"My wife."
My eyes fluttered close and my lips curled more. All the papers were signed and the 'I do's were said. We were officially husband and wife and that thought always made my heart jump in my chest. It probably always would.
"Yes?"
"I would love to stay here and make love to you all evening but we should really get going."
I laughed a bit and shook my head, knowing it was exactly what we had been doing for the past weeks but I didn't mention anything. Instead, I tilted my head and just nodded. I was stressed and I was not sure why but after everyone was arrived and had consumed at least one drink, Niall walked up to the small stage and I frowned a bit when I saw him grab his guitar. His eyes found me and he made a quick head movement, telling me to join him.
"Go!" Louis told me, pushing me gently but I just pressed my lips together and breathed in deeply. "Come on, my queen."
I finally joined Niall and he cleared his throat, placing himself in front of the microphone. That was it, that was the moment I was dreading, and I started feeling nauseous.
"Hello everyone, thank you for coming here tonight." he let out with a smile. "I know you're all here because you think we're getting engaged."
I bit my bottom lip but suddenly, I relaxed. Perhaps, it was the sound of his voice that calmed me down, or maybe the fact that we were surrounded by all the people we loved, or maybe it was just the thought that we were married and that no one could take that away from us. Either way, I moved closer and I smiled while staring at him.
"Uhm, we're not getting engaged. In fact, if you haven’t heard from us at all in the past two weeks, it's because we flew to Vegas and got married there."
The memory of him, standing in front of me as he held my hands and promised to love me forever came back to my mind and I held my breath. Everyone started whispering but coming loud from all the murmurs was the sound of my best friend screaming "FUCK YEA!" from the middle of the room. I let out a laughter as my eyes looked for him and he sent me a 'rock on' sign with his free hand while the other was holding up a glass of wine.
"Thank you, Tommo." my boyfriend let out with a smile and a small head movement. "So you guys are here to celebrate the fact that Olivia and I are husband and wife, legally and emotionally. I waited until you were all at least a bit intoxicated to let out the news but if you're here, it's because we love you, and we wanted to live this with you. We knew you would all be happy for us, because after all, Liv and I, it was meant to be."
His eyes found me and I smiled more, I took a step closer and licked my lips as In gripped the side of my dress nervously. It took only a second for Niall's hand to reach mine and when he squeezed my fingers, I felt better.
"Thank you so much for being here. We're sorry you missed the ceremony, but it was important for us to do it just the two of us. When you find the love of your life, that one person you want to spend all your days with until the very last, then there's no reason to wait. I've always known Niall was my soulmate, but now I know I'm his too, and nothing can change that. I know it's cheesy, but each and every single one of you were with us when we said 'I do'"
Niall chuckled next to me and shook his head slightly. "Here, let me reenact what happened to you." he turned to me and just let out a low 'I do' before grabbing my face and kissing me.
It was not as gentle and emotional as it had been when it really happened, but I still felt my heart jump in my chest. I loved the feeling of his warm palms on my cheeks and the way his fingertips brushed against my jaw and neck. I loved his touch. I heard everyone start cheering and clapping and I laughed through the kiss, feeling his lips curl into a smile too.
When he pulled away, I could swear my eyes were sparkling and when his eyes met mine, he smiled even more. "Okay so I wrote a song for you." he explained when the small crowd of our families and friends became quieter. "I wanted to sing it here, in front of everyone, because I thought it was perfect for today."
I took a step back and when he started singing, I recognized the lyrics. I had read them in his notebook a few months before. It was the song he wrote in the middle of the night and I remembered watching him for so long, his pen running quickly on the paper and his hand moving in his hair from time to time, messing it on the top of his head. I remember reading the lyrics the next day and tearing up when I realized there was my name at the bottom. I remembered everything and I tried to keep the tears in as he sang.
"Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See you standing in your dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life"
I knew Niall would have preferred a more traditional wedding, and I also knew he gave it up just for me. This small reception was the closest he would get from telling everyone that he promised to love me forever and somehow, with this song, he was doing it very clearly and openly.
"I want the world to witness When we finally say I do It's the way you love I gotta give it back to you I can't promise picket fences Or sunny afternoons But, at night when I close my eyes"
I held my breath, feeling suddenly a bit guilty that he couldn't have his family and friends with him when we got married, but I teared up at how beautiful his lyrics were, even if I already knew that. I breathed in deeply only when the song was over and without thinking, I walked up to him quickly, got on my tiptoes and kissed him.
"I love you so much." I just let out before my lips crashed against his.
Everyone started clapping again but I was not sure if it was for the kiss or the song. Either way, it didn't matter. I just deppened the kiss and he answered it without hesitation. I knew he didn't like PDA, but I couldn't help it and when he pulled me closer, I knew he didn't mind. I felt half of his guitar press on my stomach and laughed a bit.
"I love you too."
NIALL
Everyone was dancing, talking, laughing and drinking. I remained close to my wife the whole time and when I saw our parents talking together, I knew that was the ultimate test. I was pretty sure they would be okay with this but I was still a bit scared of their reaction. I felt Liv hold my hand so tight that I almost took it back. Instead, I squeezed her fingers back and smiled as we walked up to them. Quickly, my mom engulfed me in a hug and all the stress disappeared. I noticed Olivia's parents do the same to her and I hugged my dad before turning to my parents-in-law and hold out my hand to her father. It took a few seconds but his lips finally curled and he shook my hand before pulling on it and hugging me too.
"I am happy for you, son."
"Thank you."
"We're sorry that you couldn't be there with us. I promise we didn't want to hurt you, we just..." Liv started before licking her lips and pressing them together. "We just wanted to do that alone."
Her mom raised her eyebrows and they stared at each other in silence for a while.
"Es-tu heureuse?"
My girlfriend's lips curled and her eyes fluttered a bit. "I've never been happier, maman."
Her mom nodded and after a while, it was my mom's turn to hug her. When they pulled away, Olivia frowned and her lips parted. I couldn't help but think that she looked too pretty for words but I tried to push that thought away when I heard only one word escape her mouth. "How...?" My mom smiled more and chuckled slightly. "I just do."
I was about to ask them what they were talking about but I felt someone slap my back and it took me by surprise. I jumped slightly and groaned low as Louis appeared in front of me.
"Congrats mate, I'm happy for both of you." he said, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me so tight that I lost my breath.
"Thank you." I said as he let go of me to engulf my girlfriend into a tight and more emotional hug.
I stared at them for a few seconds and finally turned to Eleanor who congratulated me too before hugging me. Soon, Liam, Julie and Harry joined us and after hugging everyone, we all started talking and laughing together. I knew everything would go well but at the same time, I was a bit nervous. It was important for me that our friends and family would be okay with the fact that we got married without telling them, and I just wanted them to know it was not against them at all, but mostly just for Liv and I. We had started just the two of us, and it was just the obvious way to do this.
For the rest of the night, I spent my time watching my girlfriend dance, laugh and interact with the people we loved, telling myself that this was the happiest time of my entire life. I watched everyone leave one by one, our parents being the firsts and then our friends. Louis was the last one to leave and we decided to just leave with him.
"You know, you literally made me want to do it too." he let out low, looking at our girlfriends saying their goodbyes and making me frown. "Your speech earlier. It made me realize that maybe I shouldn't wait anymore."
My lips curled and I let out a chuckle. "Go for it." I just let out, knowing perfectly well that their couple was as strong as ours and that they both considered each other their soulmates. "I don't even know why you waited that long."
He didn't send me a glance, he just kept looking at El and after a few minutes, we said good night and left in a different cab. It's only when we walked inside and closed the door behind us that I felt all the stress disappear from my body. It was a good stress, but it was still nice to relax.
Olivia disappeared in the hall and I just sat on the couch, loosening my tie and putting my feet on the coffee table. I closed my eyes and leaned my head on the back of the couch as a bunch of memories came to mine. I had been so close to lose the love of my life forever and by my fault. I had hurt her in a way I had never hurt anyone else in my life and at the same time, I had hurt myself in a way I had never been hut before without realizing it immediately. I couldn't lie and pretend Olivia was not the best thing that has ever happened to me because she was, and I liked to believe I was for her, too. You can call it fate, you can call it destiny, you can call it 'soulmates' but in the end, it was just an other love story for most people. For me, however, it was epic and the accomplishment of a lifetime.
After everything we've been through, every wrong decisions, every mistake and every problem, we still managed to reach this point of happiness together. Olivia has always told me that love was not all you need, despite the popular song, and I knew she was right. But it was because of the love we have for each other that we actually tried over and over again. It was because of this love that we actually ended up together, because we were ready to make the effort, and because we believed in the feelings we had. I knew I would never truly be happy without her and now that we were together, I planned to do everything possible and impossible to keep her in my life.
My girlfriend came back and put something next to the couch, which I guessed was her purse. I was not surprised to see she had changed into a pair of my sweatpants and a shirt that also belonged to me but looked so much better on her. It stuck to her chest and hips in a way it didn't to me and I loved it more than I should.
"I would have loved to take that dress off of you myself." I admitted with a smirk, making her raise her nose up as she sent me a smile. "But hey, I'm not surprised."
She moved closer and gripped my tie, pulling on it gently and making me laugh right before her lips reached mine. I was a bit tipsy and mixed with my happiness, it made me sound totally drunk, but she knew me well enough to know I was just ecstatic from the night we just had had.
"You can take my sweatpants and t-shirt off later, if you want." she proposed before I nodded. "I'm not wearing anything under, if it changes anything."
I chuckled and she kissed my lips again as one of my hands reached for her waist. "Come on, sit on me, will you?"
I watched her hesitate and bite her bottom lip gently before actually straddling me. I moved my chin up, endeared by her behavior, and my hands reached for her thighs. I let my palms rub slowly on the fabric of her pants and stared at her as she licked her lips.
"Thank you for the song." she whispered, a shy smile gracing her lips as she looked away. "Honestly, I had read the lyrics before. I know I shouldn't have but it was sort of an accident."
I raised my eyebrows and smiled back at her. "You're so nosy I swear," I joked. "No one told you not to touch other people's stuff?"
"I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't have. Forgive me?" she asked with a cute grimace, making me roll my eyes with a smile.
"Of course." I just let out, moving my head slightly. "I almost sang you 'This Town' instead." I paused and she frowned. "I know I wrote it when we first dated, and I told you it was partially about you, and partially fiction... but when you were with Dylan and we met again, It hit me how it had completely turned out to be what I was actually going through. And the lyrics are still true, you know? Everything comes back to you."
Her eyes fluttered and a fond smile spread on her lips. She brought her hands to my cheeks and let her thumbs brush on my stubble. I wanted to keep telling her how much I loved her but quickly, she pressed her mouth against mine and my hands gripped her thighs at how good she tasted. I don't know how long we stayed close, her forehead leaning against mine while we both kept out eyes closed, but I focused on her weight on my lap and the aroma of honey and vanilla invading my nose. I could have stayed like that all night.
"Told you our parents would be happy." I let out after a while, making her sit back up to look at me.
"Mm, and your brother?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"He sent a text message to say congrats earlier." I explained as my hands kept running on her thighs. "You know we're gonna have to entertain our parents for a few days. That means we can't spend our days locked her to fuck anymore."
She laughed a bit and tilted her head. "I think we can take a few days break."
I frowned but shook my head, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "That's not what I meant, we can still have sex when we come back home, and if you're too exhausted I can do all the to work."
"I suspect you actually enjoy that." she laughed, making me smile more.
"Mm, maybe I do."
I pulled her closer and when her lips brushed against mine, I heard her whimper low. I slowly deepened the kiss just to taste her and she let me, moving as close to me as she could. I felt her ass rub on my thighs and groaned when it reached my cock.
"Maybe we should go to our room now, what d'you say?" I proposed in a whisper before kissing her more.
"Not yet." she murmured back, grabbing my upper lip between hers and sucking on it.
I felt myself get hornier and groaned low as I grabbed her waist and turned us around, laying her down on the couch. She let out a little scream and I quickly moved over her, smiling big.
"Fine then, we'll do it here."
We kissed a bit roughly and deeply for a while but when my hand slipped under her shirt, she quickly stopped me. "Niall wait, I have something for you first."
I frowned but even if I was curious, I definitely thought it could wait. Seeing her face though made me back away slightly and after a few seconds, I sat up and she did the same, pulling on her shirt to put it back in place.
Without a word, she reached for what she had put next to the couch and held me a white gift bag. I stared at it for a while and finally turned to her, a bit suspiciously.
"Did I miss something? An anniversary or something else that was important?"
She chuckled and shook her head, but I noticed how she was nervously playing with the fabric of her pants. "No, don't worry. I just wanted to give you a little something."
We just looked at each other for a while and I let my eyes roam on her face before finally take the colored tissues off the bag and dive my hand in it. I grabbed something and took it out but it took a few seconds for my brain to process everything. It was a piece of fabric, almost the same white as the bag but a bit lighter, and when I turned it around, I understood. On the front was written "my daddy is a rockstar" and somehow, I felt my heart jump so high in my chest I had to swallow it back.
"Petal." I whispered before turning to look at her. "Are you pregnant?"
Slowly, she nodded, her eyes never leaving mine, and I felt my heart jump for a second time. I blinked a few times, feeling tears coming to my eyes as a bunch of emotions flooded me. My eyes roamed on her and ended on her belly who looked exactly like it always did but when I looked up, I held my breath, realizing something.
"My mom knows."
She nodded slowly again. "She... she guessed it. I don't know how she knew, but she congratulated me earlier, at the party."
"You... you didn't drink?"
"Not a drip. I had soda." she explained, tilting her head and pressing her lips together. "I thought you had noticed."
I didn't answer, I just blinked again a few times before looking back at the small pajama I was holding. It seemed surreal and despite what I thought I would feel if it happened, I felt overly emotional but in a good way.
"I'm really gonna be a dad?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and finally turning to my girlfriend who just nodded. I chuckled a bit, and then some more. "Fookin' hell."
"Are you happy?"
Her question was legit since we had had a pregnancy scare a few months earlier, but it seemed like so many things had happened in such a short period of time and now that my tour was over, I felt like it was a good time to jump into this.
"Honestly, Olivia..." I turned on the couch to face her and noticed she was holding her breath and tearing up. I moved closer and her eyes fluttered. I watched one single tear fall from her left one and cupped her face, brushing my thumb on her cheekbone to catch the tear. "I thought marrying you and finally being with you was the highest moments of my life. I honestly never thought I could be even happier than I already was. But you just made me the happiest man in the whole fookin' world, pet."
She let out a loud sigh of relief and I brought my lips against hers. "I love you so much, Olivia. I can't wait for that future with you. You and Me. This is just the beginning."
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erischaos · 4 years
Text
the scare
summary: you and Johnny go through a pregnancy scare.
words: +1,5k
tags: fluffy, sexual themes. 
Tumblr media
“Being a month late isn’t that big of a deal right?” you asked your friend out of the blue while playing with your cup. The coffee shop wasn’t very crowded so you felt free to talk with her about the matter. “It depends y/n” you looked at her expectantly. “It could be a lot of things like, you know, stress, changing food habits, an UTI” she made a pause and lowed her tone “…pregnancy”. It took you by surprise and you almost chocked. “Its impossible girl, forget it, its not that” you denied. All but that. You were on the pill. “I know you’re on birth control but it can fail, besides you told me you and Johnny are like a fifty percent of the time at it” you started to fidget with your hands while considering it. There isn't a big error range for the pill and you never forgot to take them but, at the same time, you thought about all those babies who were a product of that 1%. “I can’t have a child now, it can ruin Johnny’s career” you started to get nervous and your eyes started to water. You discussed the babies thing with Johnny and both agreed to wait a few more years, his idol career was just starting to take off and you got your degree only a year ago. Besides you two wanted to have the typical childless couple life; sex whenever, vacations, working without having to call a babysitter, a little bit of partying and just live life without worries. And having to hide the relationship was already stressful enough. “hey, y/n” you friend tried to caught your attention after seeing you space out, knowing you were probably thinking about all the pros and cons “its probably just a scare, don’t worry” You considered it, you had many scares but never one this long. “should I do a test?” your friend agreed with you and you both headed to the closest store to buy two or three, knowing that someone seeing you could be a risk she bought them for you and drove you home after. “I can’t stay y/n, I have work” you assured her it wasn’t a problem, said thanks, goodbye and went inside.
You couldn’t bring yourself to do them. What if it was a positive? It could change you whole life, his, the relationship, everything. The apartment was small so you probably would have to move. Was the puppy ready to have a little brother? Were his group mates ready to be uncles? Were your parents ready to have a grandchild? All those people would love if you and him had a baby, and honestly, you too. You wanted two, a boy and a girl, you want them to have Johnny’s nose and lips, you wanted to see a little John playing with your puppy, and read books to a little y/n, and when they grew up have one more. You wanted to have a big and happy family. You would love to have his kids, more than anything else but were you two ready to be parents? Suddenly you heard keys and your dog started to bark and wag his tail, so you quickly hid the bag under the couch cushions. “Hey angel” Johnny came thru the door and plopped on the couch beside you and started to kiss you. You interrupted the kissing and while petting your  dog asked him why he was home that early, you were supposed to know the answer of the test before he came home “we got the choreo pretty fast so they let us go home early, the boys wanted to have dinner together but I missed you” he continued to kiss you and started to get handsy. “we haven’t had some y/n and Johnny time lately” you broke up into a nervous laugh “lately? We have been fucking all weekend horny ass, what are you talking about?” you didn’t wait for an answer and searched for his lips, hovering over him, laying on the couch. Johnny hissed when he lay his head and you looked at him confused “what's under here?” he questioned you, the moment you realized panic invaded your body and he, nonchalantly, took from under the cushion a bag with a few pink boxes. He took one and read it, and then he looked at you, waiting for your answer. You couldn’t react, there was no air inside of your lungs no more, of course if there was a baby you were going to tell him but not like this, not now, no when you didn’t even do the test.
“y/n are you pregnant?” he never called you by your first name. You couldn’t open your mouth and with you on top of him he started to sit down, which made you be face to face. “are you pregnant?” he looked impatient and grabbed your face. You took a long, deep breath “I don’t know, I haven’t done it yet” He raised his eyebrows “why not?” “I don’t want to know the answer” you started to cry and looked down “I’m not sure you’ll like it” he moved his hands from your face to your waist and hugged you “how do you know if I’m going to like it or not baby?” you tried to talk in between your sobs “because you said you didn’t wanted a kid yet” your voice was muffled by his shoulder,  getting his shirt wet with your tears. He asked you why you bought on the first place and you told him you were a month late. “I’m not a gynecologist babe but there can be a lot of reasons, right?” you didn’t knew how the fuck he was so calm about it while you were a nervous wreck. “you are on the pill, you have been very nervous about your new work, you haven’t been eating well” he said while stroking your back. “why don’t we do it now so you can be sure and stop crying?” You sniffled and looked at him again “but what if its positive John, what if it ruins your career and we have to move and turn the dog into a nanny?” he giggled and wept your tears away “if it’s positive I’m going to be the happiest men in the world because it will mean I’m having a child with you dumbass, its not going to ruin anything because we don’t need to tell the world yet, we can live here for a while until we find a beautiful house to turn into our home, that I don’t know how I’m going to afford it yet but you’re going to have it, and our puppy is very smart, so I’m sure he’s going to be an awesome nanny, ok?” the dog looked at you two, licked your hand and went to sit on his bed. “babe, please, stop overthinking and let’s do it” You stood up and went to the bathroom, followed by him. He took the boxes from inside of the bag and handed them to you. “I’ll be waiting outside” he kissed your temple and closed the door. He didn’t lie, he would be extremely happy but he was nervous as fuck, he wasn’t even thirty yet, and its fun saying you want kids and fantasize about it but now that the probabilities where high, he was shitting his pants. You two worked his ass off to buy this tiny apartment and moving was going to be a financial death, he was a very well paid idol but a house is expensive for everyone. And diapers, and the baby formula, and a crib, jesus christ. His thoughts were interrupted when you opened the door with the tests in your hand. One line negative, two lines positive. This were going to be the longest five minutes in his life.
You weren’t calm either, you were shaking. You knew that looking at them wasn’t going to make them work faster but you couldn’t stop. Sooner than expected, one by one, the three test showed a single line. You weren’t pregnant. But why were you sad? This was the best outcome possible. Johnny hugged you from behind and kissed your head while smiling, but he got surprise when he heard you sob again “why again?!” he asked in distress making you laugh “I don’t know, I guess I got my hopes up” you dried you tears and you two hugged. “me too babe, but we have many years to be parents” he started to kiss you all over your face “but for now” he looked at your eyes and his were a lot darker than before “the only one we are going to traumatize fucking in the middle of the living room at six pm is our dog” he didn’t even gave you time to laugh when he pushed you up by your ass an sat you on the table, without stopping kissing you.
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hello there again! the last line is sooo raunchy IM SORRY but i thought it was funny. please if you liked this scenario leave a like and comment if you want! i would love to hear some feedbacks from you guys :) im sorry im only writing for johnny but he inspires me a lot. 
love u all, take care ♥
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proonv · 2 years
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guess who suddenly got reinterested in talentswaps......... help
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🔪 rantaro amami 🌹
(sorry for the edgy emojis skdbshs i think it's fun)
-- mans got Trauma
-- when shirogane and him meet he jokes about how he doesn't really look like a child caregiver, does he? he later gives her a friendship bracelet
-- still has his 12(!!) sisters but they aren't lost, just in constant danger
-- if he doesn't kill, the organization making him will kill his sisters. so.
-- flowers are purple hyacinth, which apparently mean apologies. he leaves these with his victims, as if it's a calling card. along with the candles. can't remember why i made them chamomile smelling tho
-- he's pretty chill, always joking around and trying to make people feel better. he paces and fidgets a lot
-- once his talent is revealed, he tries to be the same but he's pretty annoyed by how everyone is scared of him now.
-- but he is really nice, really cares for everyone and is pretty torn up when they die
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💙 tsumugi shirogane 🎲
-- she's not a part of dice, at least the dice we currently know of, i honestly haven't really decided much about her organization but it deals with disguises and infiltration to gather information. probably to sell it, but i honestly haven't gotten very far and am just throwing out ideas
-- pretty close to kaede, but honestly no one can resist her
-- doesn't really believe someone as plain and boring as her should be a big leader, especially because she has pretty bad confidence. she's the protag. this is a recurring problem
-- she doesn't get too close with everyone but she does stick around to certain people, probably her own training trio but i think more people would tag along in this.
-- anyways she's pretty polite and constantly tries to distract herself from their situation with anime references
-- sometimes uses big words where she doesn't have to. (i.e. "you say that as if it's an impossibility" instead of "you say that as if it's impossible")
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⭐ kaede akamatsu 🚀
-- hi do you want to talk about space??
-- she is so!! very emotions!! much energy!! very positive!!
-- everyone sorta clings to her, leaving her very distraught whenever someone dies. also giving her some pressure to always be happy. she's not very good at lying, tho
-- she has also recieved a friendship bracelet from taro, with little space beads and everything. she was so happy she cried
-- kinda went through something rough as a kid that made her temporarily lose faith in earth. that's when she discovered space, and it's like a whole new world for her, with all of these stars and space and she would just love to get lost in it someday. is she rambling? whoops, what were you saying?
-- anyways she's pretty much universally liked by the whole cast
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🎹 shuichi saihara🕷️
-- anxiety man. literally can only relax when playing piano alone, which will stress him out if he thinks about it too hard
-- he's very bad at expressing emotions but he really adores people a lot
-- very logical with his approaches, but uses emotions and trust to be that way. i.e "__ has said that they would not touch a knife ever and i trust them a lot so let me find evidence to support that". pretty sure that's canon him but shh
-- he has pretty good intuition and can usually tell when something is wrong with someone. otherwise he is a complete mess
-- honestly i don't really have a lot to say about him. maybe his aunt was a pianist and instead of taking after his uncle he took after her.
-- only takes his hat (+coat) off to play piano. it's a supporting weight otherwise but with a piano it feels like it weighs him down.
-- he custom-made his own sheet music book, so it's kind of messy but he's probably memorized all the songs already. he has a pretty good memory
(-- i forgot to add his shoes but they're just converse with a design on them)
yea im not great at characters. to be fair i did pretty much all of this today, the only thing i didn't was like two of the talents.
but anyways i am a little bit obsessed so im either going to be talking about this all week or just for today, we shall see
(btw none of these pictures are mine)
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itsthesinbin · 2 years
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I posted 1,492 times in 2021
762 posts created (51%)
730 posts reblogged (49%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 1.0 posts.
I added 1,236 tags in 2021
#mod talks - 523 posts
#obey me - 130 posts
#asks - 109 posts
#mod liveblogs - 96 posts
#thimble in galar - 81 posts
#anonymous - 75 posts
#art - 68 posts
#mass effect - 58 posts
#nsft - 48 posts
#hades game - 48 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#if a person says they hate kids im immediately like cool im not letting you within 100 feet of my house bc i have two kids living at my home
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
my girlfriend got me into ice planet barbarians and this is the ONLY straight smut writer that is valid
125 notes • Posted 2021-06-11 01:00:42 GMT
#4
a self published smut series has NO business being this funny and cute
139 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 08:02:08 GMT
#3
people are getting mad that ppl are simping for lady dimitrescu bc “omg no she’s evil and tortures/kills people tho” and all i can say is they hate to see a girlboss winning 💕
148 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 00:00:17 GMT
#2
Obey Me!
The brothers with a MC who has a shitty home life and is genuinely scared for their life as it gets closer to the end of their 1 year student life with them?
this got long so after lucifer’s it’ll be under a read more! as will most requests like this probably, cause both a lot of characters and im trying to like.... make hc posts longer
Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All
- Lucifer sees your hesitation and anxiety, as the year comes to a close. He’ll pull you aside to ask what’s wrong, and if there’s something he can do to help. He will be HORRIFIED when you tell him of your situation. His jaw will tense, before he simply pulls you into his room and pulls his phone out. Guidelines be damned, he’s not about to send you back to a place where he can’t readily protect you. Sure, the Devildom is dangerous, but at least here you’re safe with him.
“I’m sure Diavolo will understand and allow us to bend the rules of the exchange program a bit.”
- Mammon is a dense as a bag of bricks, so he doesn’t realize something is up until you’re mid panic attack. Aka he walked in on you while you were mid panic attack. He was flustered, going back and forth on whether he should get someone else, before shutting himself up and coming to help you. He’d guide you through the breathing exercises, trying to get you calm enough to speak. He’d stay with you no matter how long it took, and would listen to you shakily explain what happened. And oh, the guy gets furious.
Sure his brothers may be mean to him, but the idea that you were terrified of your own family? It made his blood boil. You’d have to stop him from going to the human world or else he’d do something drastic. Pulls you down against him while calling Lucifer.
“I don’t give a fuck about the rules- you ain’t going nowhere! Especially not without me!”
- Leviathan is a master at spotting anxiety, so he’s on you in an instant in his own way. He’ll drag you to play games with him, side eyeing you the whole time with an increasingly-reddening face until he finally asks you to talk about your problems. It almost seems like he isn’t paying attention, because he kinda keeps playing while you talk. Until the controller just snaps under his grip. He gets startled for a minute, before he shakes it off and pulls you to him.
“I... I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you, alright? I’ll get Lucifer to keep you here- I’ll fight Diavolo himself if I have to.”
- Satan is on top of it. He can tell you’re anxious, and he knows it’s more than just about leaving. He’ll bring you to his room for a private talk, and will let you vent about it. He tries to keep his composure, he really does, but you look up and he’s in his demon form without even realizing it. Slowly, he calms himself back down, and goes back to his human form. The last thing he needs is to scare you.
“You aren’t going anywhere, I’ll make sure of it.”
- Asmodeus makes little jokes at first, when he realizes you’re stressed. Stress just causes wrinkles, you know! But then he realizes it runs a lot deeper than just surface-level anxiety. He does what he knows best- gets you in a bath with him, just to relax, and sees if you want to talk. When you do, and he learns of your situation, he can’t help but cry with you. He’ll hold you until the bath water turns cold, joking that you two turned into prunes as he gets you out, dry, and into the bed with him so he can continue to comfort you.
“Well, I was thinking of trying to keep you here for myself, anyway. Guess there isn’t much to stop you from agreeing to stay with me, right?”
- Beelzebub is another thick one. He means well, he just doesn’t see the telltale signs right away. He notices after you accidentally cut your finger while on kitchen duty, and just... break down in front of him. The small cut was the catalyst for everything else, and you start spilling to him after he asks what’s wrong. He listens intently, carefully dealing with your cut as you cry to him. As soon as you’re done, he places a hand on your head gently. He’s smiling, but his eyes are serious.
“I’ll protect you. I always have.”
- Belphegor is immediately aware something’s wrong. He invades your dreams, witnessing nightmares of distorted family members and memories. As soon as you both wake up from your nap, he’s rolled over on top of you. He hovers over you, staring down at you in both concern and anger. He gets the truth out of you, maybe a little more forcefully than he meant to, but he never raises his voice. Once you’re finished, he’ll roll back over onto his side to pull you close to him. He’ll let out a bittersweet chuckle, pressing his face to the top of your head.
“I was even going to ask you to stay with me and Beel, on your last day here. Guess I know the answer that ahead of time, cause I’m sure as hell not letting you leave.”
151 notes • Posted 2021-05-16 03:21:35 GMT
#1
ruby dixon said “im gonna play into your breeding kink AND your fantasy of a possessive doting partner that makes you the center of their world AND your fantasy of a giant monster treating you like the most precious thing in the universe” and slapped me in the face
1115 notes • Posted 2021-06-16 06:19:23 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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dotsayers · 3 years
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20 Questions: Writer’s Edition
tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad 
this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb
way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter
as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)
do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)
standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)
a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)
where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?
i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter  because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy 
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that
9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it! 
10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo
14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?
oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them
15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing
16. What are your writing strengths?
once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out. 
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child
20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope
tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this
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ciderspunk2077 · 3 years
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You should drop your fic ideas and headcanons ((if you want to))!! All of the ones I’ve seen on your blog are really good I know I would love to hear more 👀
Oh Tysm 🥺💦 I’m real shy online about sharing headcannons cuz it’s mostly me going back and forth w/ @ Smeriic talking and shit scheming together and all that on our own. But I rly am hyperfixated in this game and would love to share some stuff. Also what inspires me to want to write. I will say I RP quite often and for years now so the way I talk and type doesn’t exactly reflect my writing skill so sorry if this answer becomes like... all over the place 😭💦💦
But basically we really like default fem V but sort of like with some twists I guess, most of our headcannons are formed around her? Mostly Headcannons not rly an original V w/ a name or anything. But basically V only goes by V and The name they use at clouds is her deadname. Especially cuz she says “only people real close can say that” but like Jackie, mama Welles, Vik, none of them rly did so we (now logically speaking I understand this is a developer thing, so re-recording lines and etc BUT as someone with a deadname It felt really validating to have that scene and have ppl never call her that name ever cuz she doesn’t let them) (my tag for V will be “ V ( ) ”)
I’m really bad and typing on my phone. So sorry about my organization and text speech ;-;💦 another thing is that We HC we as a she/they.
Our path is basically, Fem!V, streetkid, and Sun ending for her. She is super in denial and has had tons of shitty exes not like super bad experiences just- never really had a rly successful relationship. Johnny definitely teases her about her shitty experiences on occasion.
MOST OF THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD IM SO SORRY
V hates corporate wars (the musical) and is that typical “I just don’t get why they’re fucking singing and dancing” type of person. She finds it annoying as shit. (Couldn’t be me I love musicals shdjdjf)
V is a solo. Dump the INT/net running stuff. She’s got that energy. She’s not like stupid or anything but she’s got mega ADHD and acts it sometimes. Flighty I think is the word? Also our V tried to get into netrunning as a teen but quit it because she found is wasn’t as easy as the datapools made it seem.
A sad HC we have is that V really loves and cares about panam, Judy, River, Kerry, etc but they never pursue a fulfilling romance with any of them (aside from the initial hook up and shit) because they feel like it’s unfair to become close with others in their life due to their imminent death. Also pushing ppl away is probably another fact of them being a lonesome figure and Johnny’s personality traits rubbing off maybe. (This is a form of self harm shhddndnf but V feels so isolated in their experience and alone and scared)
V pushes her limits a lot of the time. Doing too many gigs, trying to fit too many jobs at once simply because she feels her time is rushed
She got the chippin’ in and animal skull tattoo when she was 17 and had a brief phase of samurai cuz as an edgy 17-year old thought it’d be cool as fuck. Later she got the snake and others to add to her ink.
Another HC that she was a straight edge who doesn’t smoke or do much other than drink on occasion. She only smokes for Johnny if he’s a really good boy :-) (which he is NEVER, and also it’s a veiled excuse to smoke for herself from stress) but slowly starts smoking bit by bit as it goes on.
I need to like write this stuff on a laptop but I feel terribly for leaving ppl hanging so I might edit this tomorrow or just rewrite the post later 🥺💦
Vincent is her brother- he lives back in Atlanta still tryna make it. So basically we have a reverse where it explains the male and fem v and all that. They both go to Atlanta. Whichever returns to night city is the one that does the whole games story etc etc. very fun we talk about it a lot.
Also uuuuh our HC is Johnny and V in love ahebdndnfjd 😭 not anything original though. It’s just an intimate and unconditional experience.
Also thank my soulmate smeriic for makin’ all these amazing doodles of V and Johnny 👉👈 I might join in and make some Johnny v art as well to compliment if I write any fics. Just to have something to tag them along with
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