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#these are all valid questions and i do not know how to answer them
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Wondering your thoughts on something.
There are these questions floating around like the one you reblogged, of the flavor 'can [identity] [do something that is seemingly contrary to the dictionary definition of identity]?'
Do you think there's ever value to engaging with these conversations?
I ask because I think at some point, for myself, I was wrestling with 'can someone be straight and be with a non-binary partner' and there are layers to a question like that:
1. Can I maintain the stability and comfort and safety of my label despite who I love
2. Can I respect the identity of the person I love without changing my label
3. Is there some value to changing my label or keeping it
4. If I don't change my label but I feel queer can I still belong to a supportive community
5. [Externalized gatekeeping bullshit]
And I know the easy answer is, who cares do whatever.
But when you're in it, that's not an answer that feels productive. Like if I could have just done whatever without consequences I would have, but the consequences of deviating from or refusing to deviate from a strict definition felt very material.
Actually engaging with a sort of reckoning for stuff like that feels helpful. Reaching out to the queer community, seeking others who have wrestled with that question and found success, seeking validation in being strange that goes beyond 'everyone can do anything forever', I see the value in it. That's the community we're supposed to be cultivating, no? That's part of the support part, isn't it? Sharing experiences?
But I also see the value in saying, 'you gotta figure this shit out on your own,' because sometimes you gotta do that. I did. And my answer changed over time. It's just a very lonely process. And when we go through it ourselves it's easy to say, I did it, you can/should too. But then aren't we sitting at the whole 'I paid student loans so how dare they forgive student loans' mentality? Aren't we supposed to be making things easier?
All this to ask, isn't it better to engage with these questions in good faith than to assume it's gatekeeping bullshit? For the people it might help? Is 'you're fine, figure it out for yourself, don't worry about other people' actually engaging it in good faith?
I guess to me the issue is less that I'm against self introspection or that I'm assuming it's gatekeeping bullshit as like. what do you mean, "can x do y?" ? they're already doing that.
"can lesbians use he/him pronouns?" "can aseuxals have sex?" "can transmascs use the word tranny?" "can bisexual women call themselves lesbians?" "can you be trans without dysphoria?" "can a straight person be in a relationship with a nonbinary person?"
like... yes. of course they can. who's going to stop them? all of those things are in fact already happening and have been happening for longer than you can imagine. and the world kept turning. go drink a lemonade about it or something.
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thegoldencontracts · 3 days
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(Overlooked Aspects Of) Cater Diamond
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Okay, so to start off, this post is not intended to judge anyone. All headcannons of Cater are completely valid, and I would not only not mind - but also actively appreciate - if someone wanted to make corrections or arguments in reblogs or comments. This is just an analysis of parts of Cater that I believe are not given much focus, and would therefore like to highlight. With that being said:
Cater Diamond is a very complex character beneath the surface of a friendly, Magicam-obsessed senior. Definitely more to him than meets the eye. There's obviously the fact that he's certainly not as happy as he claims to be, but less frequently mentioned is the reason why.
Cater's Lab Vignette introduces this aspect of Cater's character, with the storyline of him making mandrakes with Lilia and Vil. The mandrakes are said to reflect the traits of the person infusing magic into it, and Cater's-
Vil: Oh, dear... This mandrake's hugging its knees and huddling in place.
Cater's also mentioned to make a bunch of mandrakes and hide the ones that don't fit the happy 'Cay-Cay' image. In a way, this is also an analogy for himself, hiding the parts of himself that don't seem perfectly upbeat from others.
Now, why exactly does he behave this way? The most common answer is usually that his sisters forced him to conform to their standards of cuteness, and that in pleasing them, he developed his current facades of a perfectly cute and happy senior. And although his sisters likely did play a part in it, there's also another reason for the distance he puts between himself and others.
In Cater's Halloween Vignette, he mentions the following:
Cater: I guess I have a wide circle of contacts, sure. My dad works at a bank that has branches all around the world, so every time he was transferred to a new office, the whole family went with him. We moved about once every two years. I'm a real pro at packing by now, lemme tell you. ... Cater: But for all the people I met, one thing never changed( ...) I would always leave, and they would always stay. That's why I always tried to be on good terms with everyone, rather than forge strong bonds with a chosen few. Like a circus performer who has a grand old time with people from around the world, and then packs up and moves on. In that sense, Magicam's been seriously great because I can get messages from people I knew at school three years ago. I can have all the casual connections I can handle. And that's just my speed, right?
Essentially: Cater's moved so often that he's adapted to forming shallow connections with everyone he can rather than actually trying to bond with him. He wants casual connections, because that's what he can handle. He views people rather impersonally, because he knows that he'll have to leave them eventually.
And that's likely a major reason for the facade he puts up. He's afraid of being vulnerable. Of forming a bond with someone and getting attached, only to have to leave them behind eventually. "Cay-Cay" the agreeable senior is a tool to form these casual little connections and play nice without getting attached, so that, when he inevitably has to leave, he doesn't get his heart broken.
This also leads to and explains another aspect of Cater's character: His occasionally questionable morality.
Cater had frequently displayed a willingness to trick people into doing his bidding. Not evil, by any means, but still questionable. There's obviously his introduction in Book 1, where he straight-up tricks Ace and Deuce into doing his work for him, and there's also scenes like Jade mentioning he'd like to have Cater as an older brother, one of the reasons being-
Jade: ...His ability to collect and disseminate information on Magicam is mind-boggling.
Basically, Cater is willing to use other people to do his bidding, and part of this stems from the fact that he's always keeping them at an arms' distance. You know, nothing personal, bud, just how the world works.
Anyways, in short, a large part of Cater's facade is caused by a fear of vulnerability stemming from the lack of permanence in his life, and that also affects his willingness to use other people.
With that being said, one final thing. The fic that inspired me to put all these thoughts about Cater together into one post. Its take on Cater's family is super refreshing!
The Company's Quite Nice (On Crimson Nights Like These)
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dyke-pollinator · 7 hours
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This is a bit of a personal question so if you don’t want to answer I understand if you just delete this ask but
As a relatively younger trans woman, and especially new to actually exploring my sexuality…at what point do I feel like a lesbian? Like I always feel bad or weird for being attracted to lesbians. It always feels wrong or amoral or like I’m lying in some way idk
I apologize for taking a few days to answer this my dear anon. A combination of Pride and IRL stuff has left me exhausted and I wanted to make sure I really took the time to give you a good answer and my bad for the wall of text you're about to receive lol.
There's a lot I could say about this. For the sake of this post, I'm going to assume that by "younger" you mean both in your transition and your age. Transition is hard. Finding yourself is hard. To answer your question, it takes Time. And I mean this in two specific ways:
Transition is a slow process. As you continue your transition, (whatever that means to you, whether that be social, medical, both, or neither, or something else entirely) you'll find a lot of things just making more sense. The labels might slowly start to be more comfortable. Or maybe they wont, and you'll switch to new ones, but that deeper sense of understanding yourself doesn't really go away (trust me I've changed both my labels and pronouns multiple times now lol). Either way, despite anything else, over time you'll just start to feel more at home, both in your body, and how you present yourself to the world. Now this is both the scary part and the hard part: you have to take steps to find a community who accepts you as you are, and (ideally) with people like you. Yeah this requires you to put yourself out there in a way that will be uncomfortable at first. Yeah, sometimes its going to go poorly, and you'll be rejected, or shunned. And yes, it will take its toll on you mentally, emotionally and (sometimes) physically. Its worth it. Having those people in your life does more than you can know in learning how to love and accept yourself. Having people look you in the eye and tell you that they love you, they see you, you're valid in who you are, no matter what anyone else says, is just so crucial.
You just get older. I know for a lot of people that can be frightening (and like, yeah, sometimes), but I can tell you with full confidence, I LOVE being in my 30s. You couldn't pay me to go back to 20. Your teen years and 20s are fucking hard. You just get so much better at knowing which things to give a shit about in your life and you get the necessary resources to be able to not give a shit. Most days I feel like a lesbian (more of a Dyke but w/e), so I am one, no one can take that from me, and the people who dont like me using that label can fuck off. I wear more masc clothes and have more masc hobbies because I want to and that doesn't define my gender or sexuality. I like doing mutual aid projects, and working on honing my DIY skills. I love the people who are in my life and tell them unapologetically, and I appreciate every day I get to spend with them. As I get older, the more I feel like "me" and the more I learn that in reality, I do love that person. She's actually pretty great.
I hope you can trust me that it gets better. That, in spite of all the pain, all of the heartbreak, the loss and tribulations, its fucking worth it. I know I didn't think so for a long, long time. But my god I am so happy I made it here. You'll get to that point to.
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dawning-day · 1 year
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SPIDERMAN SHINSOU AU ?? 👁👁
here's the vision. he's upside down. he has cat. thank you for coming to my vision.
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wandixx · 8 months
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Serious chaos one-shot snippet
“Hey, Dami?”
Boy hadn’t looked up from kittens he was bottle feeding but let out hum indicating he listened.
“I think about trying out more girlish style. Do you think it would suit me?”
Well, Damian had no idea but if Dani wished to give it a chance, then, well, the only appropriate course of action was to offer his aid.
Also features: Dani and Damian working at an animal shelter, Steph being fashionable, and Batman's rouge gallery and no, it's not a spelling mistake :)
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toffeebrew · 2 months
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I've been staring at ink's FÀQ for a bit. it got me wondering. I've got so many questions about this guy (from serious to silly)
how "fake" are his emotions? Are emotions really "fake" if they're things he really feels. Sure it's temporary, but if he feels it in that moment is it fake? seems to impact his ability to care for others somewhat so it must not be completely"real" . Are his emotions just permanently slightly duller than someone with a soul? Can he even CARE about not caring? How long does it take to wear off? Hours? Days? Weeks? Months?
(more yapping under the cut)
Do his emotions dull as they wear off? or does he just know when he'll "run out" of emotion intuitively? Does he get a like initial emotion high when he first drinks one? How does he try to balance them? Does he measure it??? like he takes out a scale and does it by ounces or something? Does he drink all of his belt all at once at the same time?? Like he puts all his vials in one hand and just chugs them? Does he drink the entire thing all at once? Or just a bit of a vial?? Leaving a bit of it left for later?
What do they taste like to him? Are they yummy? Do they smell like anything? Just paint probably but what type? Like does it smell more like oil paint, acrylic or watercolor (they all smell different i swear)? Could he theoretically use it like normal paint? Like if someone was feeling silly could they paint with his vials?
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coulsonlives · 9 months
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I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.
#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill#i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending#i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months#and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc#the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too#it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations#but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities#and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy#like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists#and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child#where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either#or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers#they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for#(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help#but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking#one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties#the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies#but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo#aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam#did#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#ddnos#munchausen syndrome#mass psychogenic illness#ableism
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cheemscakecat · 3 months
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Fun/Interesting details in Expiration Date
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Heavy knows that Pauling is calling them, and lets Scout be the one to answer. Also, road safety because he’s not distracted driving.
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Medic is so hyped about tumor bread.
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Hoovy smelling the sandwich and deciding it’s safe to eat [or that it doesn’t matter at this point].
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Pyro standing like that. He don’t know what’s going on, but he’ll still be polite. Also, Sniper just chillin in the back with a poker face the whole time.
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Medic smiles at Soldier as they walk past. Engineer’s got that Conhager death-cheating focus at the moment.
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Spy’s eyes widen angrily when he realizes it’s Scout at the door and then he smirks like; “Oh hi! Twelve hours was enough time for you to get bored of my absence, then?”, not expecting a sincere apology [maybe one orchestrated by the other teammates, but not Scout].
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There was some vitriol behind that “***”, look at his nose. He does not want Scout to gloat, try to prank him again, or give a fake apology. And that’s valid, since the team dying is something Scout should have taken seriously, and the last wishes handled with respect. He crossed a line that Spy doesn’t take lightly.
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Dad, I threwed up. But in all seriousness, that’s the “My family is dysfunctional, and I don’t know how to be emotionally honest with people” posture.
See my bucket scene analysis for more on these two.
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He didn’t say “You’re terrible with girls” in a snide or smug tone, he said it with like actual parental concern. “Scout, no you have three days! Do you want to die rejected or die before you can enjoy being together? No. Don’t do this to yourself.”
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Look at that cup, he did not need a refill. This fake smirk and disinterest is Spy’s way of checking how serious Scout is about this last wish and taking his advice. And when he goes “This never leaves this room” Spy perks up.
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Medic was taking a sample of bread tumor puss [or injecting it with something].
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They have a whole entire wrestling ring, how did I never notice that?
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This is one of those multiple choice questions where you can choose more than one answer and have it be right. But the chicken in combination with the other options looses you points, and just taking the chicken is like the token wrong answer.
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Spy sighs when he realizes Scout chose just the chicken. Like chile, I gave you multiple options and you still went with your go-to that doesn’t work!
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This room has a gym floor, which implies Spy took a bunch of fancy stuff from one of his rooms just for this date training. Also shoutout to the other teammates for helping with this.
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Okay, so most of these decorations came from Pyro, who Scout is terrified of. Archimedes came from Medic, who Scout also doesn’t want to make angry, and the grass cutouts are potentially part of the base camouflage. But that disco ball? That belongs to Scout, he just doesn't want anyone to know he’s real into that. [The team would not judge, but his brothers would, so.]
Man when he gets his heart broken, I hope he finds the right girl for him. He deserves better than Pauling always making excuses to turn him down instead of telling him like it is.
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Foreshadowing Solly being romantical towards Zhanna. Look at this content man.
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Spy holding his knife like this. There’s no reason for it to be a threat, so he’s just genuinely in the habit of doing this while listening. Or while nervous, which also makes sense.
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inkskinned · 10 months
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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solisaureus · 6 months
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In the wake of hbomberguy and toddintheshadows's takedown of James Somerton, I hope what people learn from this is that you are vulnerable to being scammed and lied to on the internet all the time. Even if you think you aren't. ESPECIALLY if you think you aren't. There is significant financial incentive for people on the internet to lie to you and influence you to think a certain way. It is happening to you every day, on youtube, on tiktok, on reddit, on tumblr. James Somerton is not the only culprit and there are tons of other scammers with reliable reputations that just haven't been caught.
What can you, as an audience member, do to shield your mind from misinformation and propaganda? I'm not going to expect everyone to fact-check everything that they hear or read on the internet, as that is simply infeasible with the sheer volume of information circulating online. But here are a few ways you can sniff out bullshit:
Watch for sources. If you watched the hbomberguy vid, this is probably already at the forefront of your thoughts. If a quote, image, or footage is unattributed, if citations are absent (this is literally the norm for informative posts on social media like tumblr and reddit, I very rarely see sources cited), or if sources cited look dubious and biased, take the information presented to you with a grain of salt.
Pay special attention to shocking claims. If someone on the internet tells you something outrageous, it is likely meant to outrage you. Public outrage is power -- before you get up in arms, verify the information that caused your reaction.
Fact-check when it matters. Some things are more important to verify than others. World news, politics, science, and medicine are rife with misinformation and directly affect people's safety. Before you spread a post you saw about, for example, COVID vaccines, look into how backed up it is.
Keep in mind that some things are disputed or unknown. It's natural to want answers, to want an authority to tell you how to feel about something. But sometimes the truth is unclear, and there are multiple contradictory opinions out there. It is okay to wait for more information to come out before you make up your mind on an issue.
Misinformation that you agree with is just as dangerous as misinformation that offends you. Todd in the shadows touched on this, but people are more likely to look into the validity of a claim if it offends them, and are more likely to accept it without question if it backs up their pre-held beliefs. But if your beliefs are being influenced by bullshit, you need to know about it, even if that causes you to change your stance on something. Especially then. Again, it's infeasible to fact check everything you hear, but keep this bias in mind when considering the above points.
There is way more to this topic and more informed people than me have weighed in on it, but I've been thinking about it since the videos came out and wanted to share my thoughts. These are things that I keep in mind for myself when evaluating info on the internet. There are tons of books out there on how to spot misinformation and the huge detrimental impact that misinformation has on society and I plan to read them next year. Educating yourself is important!
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pikp0kcas3 · 4 months
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The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality
Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!
I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.
One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.
Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.
It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.
So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.
It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.
When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.
But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.
Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.
But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!
Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?
Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.
Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.
And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.
But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.
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Academiaaaaaaaaaa
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fcthots · 10 days
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I log onto tumblr sometimes just to see your posts lol, and I love all the smut content, but I was wondering of you’d write something for a reader who isn’t feeling up to having sex one night, and they’re worried about how Jason will react but instead of being pushy about it Jason just cuddles the reader and affirms that they’re valid?
(I might be going through it a bit and feel this would be nice to read)
Thank you!! Also I think I needed this too lol
He was running on that post patrol adrenaline rush that leaves him looking for any outlet of release. Usually one in particular. You. He comes in through the window of the living room and lets his boots thudding on the ground be your warning. Before he even closes the window, his helmet is taken off his head and dropped to the carpet. He’s usually so careful about his precious equipment but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The clatter of his helmet is loud, much louder than his boots. You can hear it from under the water of your bath. You lift your head above water, and by the time you clear the water from your eyes, he’s standing in the doorway. His chest is heaving. You can see the tight coils of his fists, the lines of tension in the shoulders, the clench of his jaw. You know what he’s looking for.
But tonight isn’t the night for that.
You don’t stop him when he kneels on the ground by the tub and takes your drilling face between his hands, or when he kisses you with the enthusiasm of a starved man. His hands trail from your face to your neck and then trail down your collarbones, and down more. You pull away.
His hands stop. His face tilts like a confused puppy. There is a slight worry in his eyes, and unspoken what happened.
The words are hard to find. “I don’t um. I don’t think we should-. Maybe it would be-.” His hands trail down to yours. He hold them in his and gives a light squeeze, an encouragement, a go on. “I just don’t quite feel up to it tonight.”
He gives you a small smile reserved for you and you only. He gives your hand a gentle kiss, and then your cheek. “Ok. That’s alright. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.”
You search his eyes for any sign that he might be lying. You can’t find any but just to be safe, you ask, “are you sure?”
He tilts his head again and smiles. “Of course I’m sure.” He moves his body to make himself more comfortable sitting on the ground. He brings his elbow to the lip of the tub and rests his chin on his hand. “So what have you been up to while I was gone?” The easiness of the question makes you feel a little warm and fuzzy. There’s just something about the casual tone in which he says it, like he wasn’t planning to fuck you not even five minutes ago.
“I’ve just been in the bath.” You swirl some of the water around for emphasis. His nose scrunches when a few droplets of water hit his face. You try to hide your laugh.
“The whole time?” You were hoping he wouldn’t ask. You’ve had to rerun the water a few times after it got cold. You just couldn’t get yourself to get started for some reason.
“Yeah.” You watch the calculating and searching look in his eyes. He doesn’t ask why. You don’t want to explain, not right now.
“Do you want me to wash you? I don’t mind. If you’re ok with it that is.” He moves to sit on the lip of the tub. You just watch him.
“You wouldn’t mind?” He’s already answered the question, but doubt lingers in the back of your mind.
“I’d be happy to. My hands really need something to do right now. Washing your hair would help.”
You smile and nod as you bring your knees to your chest. You wrap your arms around them and drop your head down to watch him reach for the shampoo. Maybe it was something in his training, but that man is incredible at scalp massages.
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dalliancekay · 3 months
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Aziraphale does NOT need to suffer MORE
Can't believe I have to say this. TW: grief, mourning, death (sorry) I have, since falling into the fandom 6 months ago to escape real life, seen many takes on how Aziraphale needs to suffer in S3 to match Crowley's suffering. Mainly as the counterpart to the moment Crowley thinks he lost Aziraphale as he's looking for him desperately in the burning bookshop.
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Then drinks, we suppose, to dull his pain, waiting for the Armageddon. Also, the way Crowley suffers at the bandstand argument, the 'I Forgive You' moments, which many people find utterly devastating and incredibly heartless from Aziraphale. Not to mention when he doesn't react in the 'right way' to Crowley's confession in the Final 15. And then on top of that, 'abandons' Crowley. Oh and also for, and I quote: "The smug and entitled way Aziraphale went around in S2 assuming Crowley would love and follow him everywhere." And for all this pain that Crowley endured for him, Aziraphale should suffer in S3, to I assume, even out the scores. Some people want to see him lose it, show his emotions, to cry or beg or otherwise show how much he misses Crowley and how very sorry he is for what he's done.
Now for the TW grief content I motioned above. You can skip to the next sentence in bold.
WE ALL SUFFER DIFFERENTLY I was on holiday late September last year, visiting my mum, stepfather and my two younger brothers. We went to a cousin's wedding. It was great. The day after, as I was hanging out reading a book my mum got a call. The kind of call every mother fears. My youngest brother (he was 27) died in an accident. We needed to speak to police and the coroner. She cried and cried. She's still crying. She asks questions. She gets no answers. I did not cry. I talked to the police. I googled a funeral home. I bought my brother his last set of clothes. He lived in a hoodie and torn black jeans. Mum wanted a suit. But he died in the one he bought for the wedding. I texted a lot of people. I bought snacks for the many friends who came to the funeral and wanted to speak to us after. My grief feels like a vice. I am not sad. I do not appear sad. Contrary to what people expect. But I am ANGRY. I am furious. But nobody can see this. I am not fine and I wish no one would ever* ask how I was again. TW/Personal content over. Since I was small (because I am weird like that) I genuinely wondered if, finding myself in danger, I could scream like people in films do. I don't think I could. I cope with hard situations, fear and stress and anxiety by shutting down, sometimes by retreating too, by furiously trying to find a way out. And I think Aziraphale does the same. And that's why I love him so much. And why I feel get him and understand that people sometimes can't tell how much he's actually feeling. I also express love the way Aziraphale does - by organising things for people I love, inviting them places, making plans. When Crowley said you call me for three things (and it's basically any old reason) I felt SO SEEN. This is what I would do with a friend who I know is feeling unmoored, sad, stuck. I'd text them with any old thing. I'd never actually say I love you, how can I help though, I would try to get them to talk, meet me, go somewhere. Aziraphale does not express emotions the same way as Crowley.
But his emotions are valid nonetheless. He is worried for Crowley from around 3 minutes into their acquaintanceship. And he NEVER stops worrying.
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And are we quite sure he has never lost Crowley?
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How many times did Aziraphale's heart freeze in horror when he realised Hell has taken Crowley and he had no idea if he'll ever come back and what is happening to him?
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How did Aziraphale spent the night after vanquishing the demons and starting a war? He had no idea where Crowley was. He was probably sick with worry that Hell just took him away. We didn't see him drink, but surely, the worry must have been overwhelming. The wait for what will happen.
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ALL his worries over the Arrangement. Was he worried for himself? Do we really think that?
Crowley thought he lost Aziraphale in S1, yes, we saw that. And what happened to the angel then?
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He got blown into atoms which I bet wasn't pleasant and when he arrives in Heaven he limps. Why is he hurt? Why is he quickly pretending he isn't? Why is he always hiding how he feels? Also, he immediately deserts, wants no part in the Holy War and quickly finds an extremely unconventional way to get back. It's not a grand gesture, he doesn't deliberate, doesn't worry that he will Fall (although surely that must have been what he thought), there's no pomp around it, he thinks it and then does it. No hesitation.
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Is this coming from an angel who just can't leave Heaven behind and longs to be a part of it? Who loves to follow rules? And let's not forget in those moments Aziraphale thought Crowley was most likely gone. That he probably left for Alpha Centauri. Last he heard from him he was told he was talking to an old friend and had no time for him. Why we NEVER talk about how that might have felt for Aziraphale?
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Things are not as simple as Aziraphale has been supressing his emotions and lying to himself about how he feels and he should get over it and become free. That's not how this works. He was suppressing his emotions OUT OF LOVE. His main goal was always to keep Crowley safe. They simply couldn't run away or hoodwink Heaven and Hell. They had nowhere to go. They had no hope and yet they kept loving each other. That's courage. I know we all grew up with Romeo and Juliet and Heathcliff and Cathy and we FORGOT that those were CAUTIONARY tales. And this is not what Aziraphale wants for them. He would never allow himself to go so fast he would hurt Crowley. He feels guilty enough for agreeing to the Arrangement and for meeting Crowley at all when he knows they can be discovered and punished at any point. And Crowley knows it and RESPECTS it. He does not tolerate Aziraphale's decision to not go on a date and to hell with circumstances. He understands Aziraphale's reasoning and he respects Aziraphale's decision. Don't forget, they have NO POWER. They can't change Heaven and Hell. They can't stop believing in God and work on their religious trauma. Their Heaven and Hell are real places with real power and they BELONG to them. Aziraphale's trauma and his personality are deeply intertwined and he'd probably never be the kind of person who is open in showing their grief or stress. He will learn to be more open, I' sure. With his love especially, we see him reaching for and touching his demon in S2. Openly being with him, looking at him without guarding himself. They got a little bit of freedom for themselves despite ALL odds. So. Just because Aziraphale is not crying and screaming and I dunno, tearing his hair out or whatever some people would have him do, does not mean he isn't overflowing with pain, fear, uncertainty, doubts, worries, and so much anxiety that if he let it all out, half of the solar system would turn to ashes.
Aziraphale does not need to suffer in S3 to level out Crowley's suffering. They are, unfortunately, equal in their pain as they are in love. If there is one thing Crowley would never abide, it'd be this take from the fandom. * One more note on grief: (obviously from my personal experience) As initiated by @anthony-crowleys-left-nut in a comment
It's not that I mind to know people care and worry etc, but asking how I am can only end in me lying (fine, thank you) and both of us knowing it's not really true and feeling awkward or not lying (I feel like shit, mostly cos I can't sleep and think the world is a stupid unfair place) and both of us feeling awkward anyway. Does that make sense? I wish I could tell friends/colleagues to ask what I've been up to or something similar instead. What I've been reading (um, AO3, but I'll make something up), watching, do I want to go see some spring flowers bloom (I do).
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kanelia · 26 days
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Questions impossible for trans ideologists to answer:
If trans women are women and trans men are men, then what makes them trans? What is 'being trans' based on?
What makes trans women women and trans men men? If your sex does not determine if you are a man or a woman, then what does? Is it
Maculinity/femininity. Wouldn't this mean feminine men and masculine women are 'born in the wrong body' too and should go by the pronouns of the opposite sex? How can defining manhood and womanhood through masculinity and femininity be justified when these terms are just personality traits, interests, and style choices associated with stereotypes about men and women? What if I told you that almost all the positive attributes are associated with masculinity? Are we all men for not relating to femininity?
Inner feeling. What is this feeling, and how can it be defined? What if you have no inner feelings about your manhood or womanhood? What if most people do not? Wouldn't that make us all non-binary? What if you just think you are a man or a woman because your body is a male or female body?
Nothing. If it is "nothing" then why do you throw a hissy fit if someone refuses to play along when you claim to be a man/woman/none?
If sex does not determine if you are a man or a woman, then why do trans people seek to change their secondary sex characteristics to mimic those of the opposite sex?
If your sex does not determine if you are a man or a woman, then why can't a female be a trans woman?
Why is being trans gender 'valid', but being trans race is deemed offensive? What makes gender different? Is it
Oppression. If you can not be a trans transgender woman or a trans black person because these are oppressed groups, then why can a man claim to be a woman? Why can a heterosexual claim to be a gay or a lesbian? Why are poc rightfully upset over racist caricatures, but women are bigots for finding Dylan Mulvaney offensive?
Lived experience. If I can not be a trans trans woman or a trans black person because 'I could not possibly know how this lived experience would feel', then how come a man can be a woman or a heterosexual a gay or a lesbian?
If sexual orientation is not based on the attraction towards either male or female sex or both, then what is it based on? Attraction towards masculinity/feminity? What if I am attracted to both feminine and masculine human males? Does it make me a bisexual?
If there are no bodily differences between men and women, or not even such a thing as sex in the first place, then what are things like fgm, female infanticide, sex-selective abortion, and child marriage based on? Do they mutilate little girls because they go by she/her pronouns? Do they observe a newborn baby's gender identity? If a family has a little boy and a little girl, how do they determine which one of the children will have to marry an old man? Do they draw straws?
If there are no bodily differences between men and women, or not even such a thing as sex in the first place, then why should anyone even receive 'gender affirming care'? Why can't we just save money by telling people they do not need to transition at all because 'any body can be a man's or a woman's body' already?
And maybe the most importantly:
Why is asking these questions considered 'hate'?
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2soulscollide · 1 year
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Write your book STEP BY STEP
hello hello, it's me again!
today i'm bringing you a step-by-step / checklist to finally get your book done. i know it can be a bit complicated to put everything together to make your idea come to life (you're definitely not alone!)
that's why i compiled some tips and made this post, in hopes to help some author out there :D
let's get started.
PREMISE
assuming you already have a good idea in mind, you should start by writing a premise. to help you with that, try to answer these questions:
who is the main character?
what are their goals?
which troubles will they face / what's stopping them from achieving their goals?
do they have an opponent? if so, who?
now that you know the answers to these questions, it's time to write the premise. the premise consists in a sentence that summarizes your whole idea.
PLOT OUTLINE
there are infinite ways to plot your story. you can do it by writing down ideas and linking them together, following a scheme, or any other method.
the most common plot outlines are these:
synopsis outline: one to two pages, where you hit all the major beats of the story
in-depth outline: outline each chapter/scene
snowflake method: develop the premise into a bigger paragraph, and that paragraph into a page (etc.) until you have the whole outline of your story
booken method: plot the start and end of the story, and the main characters
the novel factory created plot sheets for free, and you can choose from eight different templates. you might want to check it out!
KNOW YOUR CHARACTERS
having your outline defined, you should start developing your characters now. the main character's profile might be more detailed than the others, however, it's up to you. there are many character sheets out there on the internet that will help you create flawless characters.
i have a post with resources that might be helpful when creating a character, check it out!
and here you have some prompts and sheets to create a character:
Quick Character Creator - EA Deverell
Extremely detailed character sheet template - @hawkasss
The Best Character Template Ever - Dabble
Character Twenty Questions Worksheet - The Writers Circle
at this point, you should also define the narrator's voice, tone, etc, as well as the pace of your novel.
LOCATIONS
define the principal locations of your story, the settings, and where the story is taking place. it's important to know how the environment looks, and how your characters feel about it.
for this part, you might find it useful to do some research about some locations, if you're not familiar with them. find inspiration on Pinterest, Tumblr, or even on books, paintings, and art. everything is valid.
if your story takes place in a fantasy environment, you might need to fill out a template to create it or write down the way you imagine it to be. try to get as many details as possible, so there are no holes when developing the novel.
SUBPLOTS
you might want to give more depth to your novel by developing a subplot (or more than one). make sure it doesn't get too confusing or that doesn't take the focus away from the main action.
the subplot can be a romance, another character's relationship, a character's arc, a backstory, etc. this will make your story more real and 3D, more realistic.
develop it as a side story and mix it with the principal plot but don't make it as important as the main story, otherwise, none of the plots will make an impact.
SYNOPSIS
write a synopsis as long as you wish, covering every important part of the story. this will help you to really know your idea, and have a solid structure for it. it can range from 500 to 2,500 words, but you don't have to restrict yourself to a number.
things the synopsis should cover:
the status quo
the complication
initial challenges
midpoint
further challenges
the low point
the climax
the resolution
DRAFT
and we get to the best part which is writing! now that you know everything about your story, characters, locations, and scenes, all you have to do is to put all that together in words. don't feel pressured to make everything look perfect already, just write what comes to your mind. if you have a new idea for the plot, good, write it down! if this character doesn't make sense anymore, okay, get rid of them. just go with the flow, following the structure you've planned, and everything starts to come to life.
i know it's so tempting to go back, read what you wrote, and start editing and polishing, but trust me, don't do that! it's a waste of time, and you will take so much more time to finish your first draft. in fact, i've given up on so many stories because of that...
just when you finish the first draft, you will re-read everything and start editing, fixing plot holes, changing what doesn't fit well, etc. but for now, just write, get the first draft done. enjoy the process, don't rush.
thanks for reading!
i hope this post was helpful!
also, you might be interested in this free workbook with over 90 pages and many exercises! check it out here: THE WRITER'S WORKBOOK
resources for this post:
How to Choose a Plot Outline Method: 4 Techniques for Outlining Novels
How to Write a Novel: A Step-by-Step Guide
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