#these lowkey look so ugly how to fix it :(

[arinmoss]

old ref of my OC Isaac Gideon, a man i never draw lmao (he/him)

#this is actually a ref i fixed a year or two ago lmao #the original ref looks so fucking busted and ugly like i used to draw faces so fucking wier d u guys #idk how people were following me back then LMAO #girlies lying STRAIGHT to my face about how good my art was fjsdlkf #tbh his face is still lowkey kinda meh but whatever i cant fix it anymore since i stilldont have a laptop to draw on -__- #oc #original character #oh hes a werewolf and never stays in one town for long #hes like a mechanic or whatever hes like rlly boring lmao #art #artwork #illustration on tumblr #illustration #digital art #arin moss art #arin moss #old art #oc ref #u can tell its old cause i signed it flowerlie instead of arin moss alksdfjl

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

Maomao's Dislike of Jinshi

So I've been watching Apothecary Diaries and I think people are missing out on the root cause of why Maomao doesn't like Jinshi's interactions with her. It's not because he's too pretty, of high standing, or because she thinks he's annoying/etc., as they're just parts that make up the actual root cause. It's because she knows he's being fake.

Jinshi, because of who he is, where he lives, and how he was raised, covers up his true intentions almost constantly. That was how he trapped Maomao and singled her out as the one who warned Concubine Gyokuyou, after all. The premise to get all the servants in the room, the note telling her to stay put, and making her come with him without telling her where they were going? He let her worry that she was in trouble, so to keep her off-balance when he introduced her to Gyokuyou and also had kept her note to keep her pinned in a corner so she would have to comply with what he and Gyokuyou wanted.

Maomao prefers working with honest people. It's why she never wanted to ascend into the ranks where court politics were a constant presence, because in court politics, you have to assume most people are lying to you on some level. That's why she likes Gyokuyou; Gyokuyou has a similar mentality about the importance of honesty in the people around her and she reciprocates that honesty with the select people she lets her walls down around. When Jinshi is flirting or being super sweet to someone, Maomao knows he's often not being sincere, so when he flirts or acts all sweet with her, she's not going to believe in the sincerity of it because it's dangerous for her if he's not being sincere.

In Maomao's world, a man who makes false promises will not have severe consequences for his actions, unlike the women who fall for them. Growing up where she did and doing the work she did, Maomao knows exactly what kind of damage someone else's lies can bring to someone else who got caught in them. Maomao is not blind to the ugly truths of the world around her, unlike many her age, so interacting with Jinshi, someone who is usually some level of false in almost every encounter with her, is frustrating to her and he won't leave her alone. Lies are a form of poison themselves as they deteriorate a person's life and relationships and if not caught, can lead someone to their death or a fate akin to death, but unlike physical toxins, Maomao can't fix any damage from that kind of societal poison. As someone who wants a lowkey and unremarkable life because it's more peaceful, Jinshi could damage her goals with his falsehoods if she falls for any of them.

And we see that when Jinshi is actually honest about himself and his feelings with her, she treats him better. When he gives her his hairpin, when he's hugging her and crying because of what happened with Ah-Duo, and when he's at the Verdigris House, drowning his sorrows over letting Maomao go from the Rear Palace, Maomao is kinder to him and doesn't look at him with the immediate disdain and suspicion she often throws his way. Maomao even states she prefers the Jinshi, who is more childlike and bratty, which is something we see Gaoshun constantly discourage when Jinshi has those moments where his mask breaks. But in those moments, he's being honest.

For the position of Maomao's love interest, Jinshi's already got one foot ahead of any other guy around Maomao, as he is willing to let Maomao have more freedom in her special interests and gives her things and access to areas that play into her interests, like her dad does, which is more than most men in her society would ever allow. The only reason he actively goes against her toying with poison is he knows exactly what she's going to do with the poisons. But his main hinderance to getting Maomao to like him back is the training of being two-faced that's been ingrained into him for his survival in court. If he was more honest with her, rather than hiding himself under the veneer of a pretty man who is sweet, gets along with everyone, and keeps his knowledge close to the chest, he'd do so much better in earning Maomao's respect and affection.

#the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #maomao #jinshi #apothecary diaries #maomao x jinshi #mao mao #just be honest about your knowledge and feelings jinshi it would help

[2knightt]

Hiiii! Can you do the outsiders gang with an s/o who models I feel like that would be interesting :)

↳but i’m into it, i’m into it.₊˚✧

➬ the gang x model!fem!reader

a/n;i love famous reader so much omfg. also, i love using chase atlantic lyrics for my titles. dont chase men, chase atlantic everyone.

Johnny Cade ;

believes that you are the most BEAUTIFUL person to walk the planet.

STRONGLY BELIEVES THAT.

probably thinks you’re too good for him.

PLEASE TELL HIM HE’S ENOUGH FOR YOU.

take him too your shoots and he will be blushing the whole time.

if you wear something that’s flattering to your body shape, he will explode right then and there.

“how do i look? should i fix my hair?”

“you look perfect.”

“you think?”

“…mhm.”

the gang seen you on a magazine cover and started freaking the fuck out.

“HOLY SHIT JOHNNY ISN’T THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?”

“WOAHHH!”

“jesus…does she have a sister?”

“guys please stop.”

cuts out your magazine covers/photo shoot pictures and keeps them in his jean jacket pocket.

not in a weird way, just in a way that when he’s sad and you aren’t around he can remind himself on how lucky he can really be.

Dallas Winston ;

oh my god he never shuts up about how he got the hottest model ever.

“yeah she’s pretty n all but, my girlfriends a model so.”

“that’s so cool that your chick is…like that! but mines a model, so, she’s just better.”

buys steals all your magazines/any photo shoot you do.

any guy thats talks about you in way dallas doesn’t like, gets knocked out.

“i’d hit that.”

“yeah?”

“yea—”

dead./j

no but he would pull all his strength in that punch.

the gang thought he kidnapped you because no way in hell a pretty girl like you would go after dallas winston.

“y/n, blink twice if you’re kidnapped.”

“raise your hand if you need help, dude.”

“guys, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

you’re legit, all he thinks about.

he’s so whipped for a model girlfriend, if you asked him to jump he’d ask how high.

genuinely believes you’re an angel, will NOT tell you that to your face though.

Ponyboy Curtis ;

he gets so nervous around you omfg.

his palms be sweating n shit, stuttering and everything.

“he-hey y/n.”

“oh, hey pony!”

uses his favourite photo shoot of yours as a book mark. i can feel it in me bones.

he giggles and kicks his feet when he looks at that bookmark btw

draws you?? i feel like that’s his favourite pass time.

IF HE HAS TO DESCRIBE A STORY IN ENGLISH HE WRITES ABOUT HOW HE MET YOU OMFG AND THE WAY HE’D DESCRIBE YOU IN THE ESSAY??/?!:;&

he’d be so sweet with his words when he talks about you. i cant i love him so much

the gang is lowkey jealous that the youngest one out of all of them pulled a model.

“hey, don’t you model?”

“yeah!”

“what.”

“how did ponyboy get a date with you?”

“…are you guys serious? am i that ugly to you guys?”

Sodapop Curtis ;

POWER COUPLE OH MY GOD I CAN’T.

you guys walking in the street together probably makes people pass out.

literally nobody was shocked that you guys started dating.

the prettiest girl for the prettiest boy, it was bound to happen, c’mon.

he probably got into modeling because of you.

OH MY GOD IMAGINE DOING A PHOTO SHOOT WITH HIM???

he asks for his favourite picture of you two from that shoot to be printed out larger for him so he can hang it in his room.

like dallas, he will punch a guy for you.

“she’s hot.”

“she has a boyfriend.”

“so?”

call 911 cause that guys gonna need it in a minute!

showed steve a picture of you before he introduced you to the gang.

“oh my god soda. why are you dating a literal model?”

“why not?”

“but what else did i expect, you get girls daily.”

Darry Curtis ;

honestly, he couldn’t care less about what you do for work.

if it brings in money, it brings in money.

but the gang sure as hell does!

“YO ISN’T THAT Y/N L/N?!”

“THE MODEL?”

“yeah? how do you guys know her?”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW HER?”

“she’s my girlfriend, soda. that’s why i brought her here.”

“WHAT??”

i’d be lying if i said darry didn’t carry around a head shot of you in his wallet.

he doesn’t brag, but when the chance to talk about you comes, he takes the chance.

“good for her. huh? oh—my girlfriend models. pretty popular.”

when he sees a magazine with you in it for sale, darry snatches it so fast.

compliments you after he seen it.

“i like your most recent shoot, the makeup suits you.”

“you think, darry?”

Steve Randle ;

rocked the whole world when you guys started dating.

DOESN’T SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOU.

“that’s so tuff soda, but y/n actually said—”

“nobody cares steve.”

“shut up and let me tell you what MY GIRLFRIEND said.”

STEVE HAS A PICTURE OF YOU TAPPED ON THE INSIDE OF THE TOP OF HIS TOOL BOX.

takes you on dates 24/7 just to show you off.

sometimes he lets go of your hand to see if anyone would flirt with you so he can punch them.

gang thought he held you hostage when you started dating ngl.

“you can do so much better, y/n.”

“dallas, shut the fuck up.”

“i’m just sayin’.”

“i will knock you out.”

Two-bit Matthews ;

HE’S SO WHIPPED FOR YOU IT’S DISGUSTING.

you have him giggling n shit.

his room is filled to the brim with photos of you.

not in a weird way, he just thinks you’re drop dead gorgeous.

tells you cheesy pickup lines, all the time.

“are you from Tennessee? cause you’re the only TEN I SEE! get it?”

would start a fan club for you if you asked nice enough.

introducing you to the gang was earth shattering for them.

“how??”

“what do you mean, ‘how?’”

“how did you pull her?”

“I PULLED HER WITH MY GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM, STEVE.”

“you’re so funny, two-bit.”

“like you falling flat on your fucking face yesterday?”

“YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT THAT.”

may 24th, 2023. 11:30PM.

tag-list ;

@diorgirl444, @typereader 🧍‍♂️

#2knightt #the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #dallas winston x reader #dallas x reader #johnny cade x reader #johnny x reader #ponyboy x reader #ponyboy curtis x reader #steve randle x reader #two bit matthews x reader #two-bit x reader #sodapop curtis x reader #sodapop x reader #darry curtis x reader

[byechristopher]

pleaseee a fic where chris and reader meet for the first time (she's lowkey sad or some shit like that idk) and he's all starstruck by her 😞

lucky you.

–CHRIS STURNIOLO FLUFF.

Author's note: hey y'all. I got the idea from this lovely anon (thank you for the request!🤍) and combined it with something that actually happened to me. Fate truly works in mysterious ways – so take this long, sappy story (based on true events, pft). I hope you like it! Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: long, sappy fluff. Very slight angst if you squeeze, but nothing crazy. Very long, didn't proofread!

My mom used to always say – "that's life; when one door closes, another door opens". And if I still lived in the same house with mom, she'd know; I haven't seen an opened door in a long while. It is unfair but it is what it is and I had no intention of succumbing to tears in the solitude of my nightly despair.

Seated on the chilled bench, I instinctively drew my knees towards my chest in a desperate bid for warmth. The sheer elegance of my black tights, though adorning my legs, proved futile against the biting cold. Unfazed, I refrained from complaining; after all, they were my cherished favorites. Mascara was most likely smudged from my previous ugly crying, yet I ignored it, taking solace in my sweater's embrace.

Leaning my head against my knees, my fingers absentmindedly engaged with the laces of my shoes – a subconscious act of distraction. In the midst of this self-imposed solitude, a sudden exclamation pierced the quietude.

"Shit!" I heard a voice, someone angry. The mysterious guy threw his hat on the pavement and scoffed, his hair nearly as messy as mine. His gaze shifted towards me, a thorough assessment from head to toe, "care if I sit next to you?" he asked quickly. Without much ado, I responded with a nonchalant shrug. I didn't care, I had way more things to worry about.

I could feel him rummaging through his pockets, trying to find God knows what, he seemed upset, anxious, "want a cig?" I didn't see him, but I saw his extended arm in front of me. I don't think he was looking at me either.

"Sure." I murmured under my breath, taking a cigarette from him half-empty packet.

"Why does life have to be such a fucking bitch?" I chuckled in response, treating it more as a statement than a question. Offering another shrug, I watched as he scanned the area, likely in search of his lighter.

"If I had the answer to that, I'd probably murder this bitch." I chuckled, he chuckled too.

He held the lighter in front of me and only then did I turn my head to look at him – he was definitely not what I expected to see from what I've heard. While I didn't dwell on it for long, it seemed he did, as seconds passed without his lighter igniting. His intense pale blue eyes remained fixed on mine, and I briefly removed the cigarette from my mouth.

"Hello?" was my mascara that smudged that I scared the guy? He hasn't uttered a word.

"Oh.. sorry." he shook his head, as though attempting to shake off the reverie that had consumed him in the past few moments in his own world, "I just.. didn't expect you to be here?"

"Well.. I'm pretty sure we haven't met before. So how come you didn't expect me?.." I was confused.

"No, I mean.. you are very beautiful." he almost whispered but I caught that, and if I was just a little disconnected from reality, I probably would've blushed.

"Oh. Thank you." my lips turned into a thin line – I put the cigarette back into my mouth, grabbing his lighter instead.

He chuckled, "and I thought I didn't know how to take a compliment." he took his lighter back, taking a puff of his own cigarette.

"Don't you hear like a thousand compliments on a daily basis?" with my knees still pulled up to my chest, I embraced them tightly, resting my head against the comforting curve of my legs.

"Hm. And yet this was the best compliment anyone has ever given me." he placed a leg on the bench, just so that he'd be able to have his whole body face me.

I couldn't help but laugh, "yeah, I'm good at giving things. Not receiving."

He nodded, his hat still on the ground although he didn't seem to care, "understood.." he smiled and wow, he had a nice smile, almost contagious, "a fellow people pleaser, nice to meet you. I'm Chris."

I reciprocated with a nod and a quick smile. My name slipped off my lips swiftly, echoed by him, and I couldn't help but notice how much better it sounded when it rolled off his tongue.

"Will I ever see you again?" he looked me dead in the eye.

"Probably not." I pursed my lips, looking back at him.

He nodded as if he understood and dropped his burnt cigarette to the ground. Chris grabbed his hat and got up, offering another smile, "I believe in fate."

"I don't." I teased, smiling.

"You probably should." he shouted, already far away from me to speak normally.

What an interaction.

It had been quite a while since said interaction. Not that I thought about the guy a lot, but he definitely was in the back of my mind. Even when I was outside, he'd still cross my mind every now and then, like a nice, distant memory.

I chuckled as I gulped down my whiskey – the music was too loud for my own liking but it was a Saturday night and it'd be a pity if I stayed home once again; my friends begged and I actually like hanging out with them. I watched as my friends danced with each other, not too far away from me, as I rummaged through my purse to find the money so I could pay and leave.

"Fucking.. shit.." I cursed under my breath, turning my phone's flashlight on because the lights in that bar were bright as fuck, but apparently not enough to actually help me see.

"D'you need any help?" I heard a somewhat familiar voice shouting behind me. I turned around and my eyes widened when I saw him.

"I.. you!" I was beyond surprised, to say the least, because I was truly convinced I'd never see him again. Not because I didn't want it; but because I had enough on my plate already.

"Shit.." he whispered, and if I wasn't already looking at his lips, I wouldn't be able to know what he said, "..see, I told you fate works in mysterious ways."

"This was just a coincidence." I convince myself.

Was it, though?

"This was no coincidence and you know it.." he grinned and I let my eyes travel down his body for a few seconds – he looked best in black, ".. I need to see you again.." he muttered.

"Well, it seems you will indeed see me again." I smiled.

"Does that mean you'll give me your phone number?" he grinned and I saw his eyes do the same thing mine did to him; check me out.

I hummed, "..hmm.. no. We'll see if fate actually works." I smiled.

"You can't be serious.." he tilted his head, looking at me in disbelief, "I found you again, how can I leave when I don't know if I'll ever see you again?"

"You said you believed in fate."

I found him undeniably attractive and intriguing. However, at that moment, I realized I wasn't emotionally equipped to entertain the idea of liking someone or embarking on dates. The weight of my personal struggles loomed large, and I couldn't shake the fear that if he discovered the extent of my problems, he'd likely reject me. Hence, I concluded it was better to distance myself now rather than risk inevitable disappointment later on.

It's not like I'd see him again.

Truly, it's been more than a month since I last saw him; I did think about him way more often than usual but he still remained a nice, distant memory. A memory that was in the past and would never be in the future.

"Yo, we're leaving already? It's 2AM." my friend whined, although we were already walking down the stairs, toward the exit, with our jackets on and bags in our hands.

"No, love, we're just taking our fucking bags for a little walk." another friend replied, rolling her eyes and I couldn't help but laugh at their bickering.

Immediately after departing from the bar, he made his way out of the restaurant located directly beneath it. You have to be fucking kidding me.

"You.." he whispered, his eyes widened.

My mouth hung open, my eyes as wide as his; I really couldn't believe it this time. This couldn't be a coincidence, right?

"What.. are you doing here?" there was nothing else that could leave my mouth at that time.

"I work here.. now, you can't tell me this is a coincidence." he walked closer to me, although still keeping a distance to be respectful.

It definitely wasn't but I was still in the same mood I was back then.

"I can't tell just yet." I teased him; deep down I wished I could give him way more. But I knew I couldn't.

"Don't.. tell me.. are you not gonna give me your phone number? Again?" he chuckled in disbelief once again. I nodded.

"He better be a murderer, bitch; that's the only valid reason for you not giving him your phone number yet." shit, I completely forgot that my friends were literally behind me, staring at us; they knew nothing about this.

"Stop." I whispered to my friend and I don't think she heard me but she definitely saw the expression on my face.

"Please?" he said and I almost gave in when I saw those eyes.

I have always been self-destructive but this wasn't it, this time. It was realistic, right? I really couldn't do this; I knew he wouldn't be able to keep up with my lifestyle so I was just doing me a favor by saving myself from possible heartbreak. Right?

"I promise you now; if we meet again, I'm opening up to you. Fully. My phone number, my likes, my diskikes." I gave him a teasing smile, which he seemed happy to receive.

"Pinky promise. Now. I trust fate but not you." he chuckled and so did I.

"But you trust my pinky?" I laughed but he seemed serious, despite his playful stare. I sighed, still smiling, wrapping my pinky around his, "..promise."

This would probably never happen. It's fine.

This time, I really thought about him; dreamed about him even. That was very unlike me but it happened either way. I seemed to be doing lots of things that were unlike me lately – like going to this bar again. I wasn't going to see him but I was hoping to.

The whiskey was cold against my lips, my black dress hugging my hips as I sat down on the couch.

"Third time's the charm."

No.

I turned my head and saw Chris speaking to the friend group that were sitting next to ours; I saw them getting up and leaving, Chris replacing them.

"Oh God.. what did you tell them?" my grin was wider than usual, I really wanted to see him after all.

"That.. I needed to sit next to you. And that it was a matter of life and death." he smiled, taking a sip of his own drink.

"You're crazy."

"For you." he said, searching for something.

Before realising, I saw his phone in front of me, signaling me to dial my phone number. And of course, I did.

"So. Start. Tell me everything."

"Do you have free time?" I tilted my head, still looking at him.

"For you? Always." he chuckled.

I cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer, looking into his eyes to make sure he wanted to kiss me as well. And as soon as I felt him leaning towards me, I placed the softest kiss on his own soft lips.

"Take me home?"

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #fanfic #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo fluff #fanfiction #fluff #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #oneshot #one shot #one-shot #christopher sturniolo imagine #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo imagines #imagines #imagine #x reader #christopher owen sturniolo #christooher owen sturniolo #sturniolo #matthew sturniolo smut

[cheriiyaya]

💌 @saelique asked: mkay this has been in my mind 4 too long now but... beastzai taking care of ur wounds :( AGHHHHHHH 💌cheriiyaya answered: beastzai is just sooo ugh !! i need him sb :((

Contents: Beast au, lowkey not my best work at all, mentions of wounds and blood, established relationship, hurt/comfort, I have zero medical knowledge so dont come after me lovelies!!

you swung your dangling legs back and forth as you slouched on dazai's desk, teeth digging into your cheek as you tenderly touched the scarlet wound that bloomed against the delicate skin of your shoulder.

"I could've fixed it up myself, y'know that right?" You looked over to dazai as he placed disinfectant and bandages beside you on his mahogany desk. His pretty lips quirked up at the corners as he tugged the sticky, red stained shirt down to pool at the swell of your hips

"And tire you out even more?." He gasped dramatically, pressing his lips against your shoulder. "Just what kind of lover do you take me as?" Dazai chuckled as you rolled your eyes and huffed. He pulled away, squeezing your biceps once before soaking a handkerchief in disinfectant and wiping in across the wound. He shushed you softly as you winced and squirmed in discomfort, dragging the thumb of his free hand over the curve of your collarbone.

Your eye twitched a bit from the burn, forcing back tears as you took in a shaky breath and loosely gripping the lapels of dazai's coat, resting your forehead on his chest. You squeezed your eyes shut and focused on the sensation of his calming hums and his gentle touch.

The handkerchief pulled away from the wound, and you felt the pain slowly fuzz away to a whisper tingling your nerves. "See? S'not that bad is it? Quit being a baby, sweetheart." Dazai kissed your temple, the presence of a teasing smile felt on your skin.

"Shut it 'samu..." You huffed as he stifled a laugh, bandaging up your wound. It was strange, even to you. Seeing the feared boss of the Port Mafia switch into this gentle lover with you sent butterflies fluttering up your stomach.

You thought back to when you first came back from the mission, how Gin told you to head to Dazai's office rather than the infirmary. Scrunching up your nose, you inquired. "Why did you send for me to come straight to your office?"

He pouted. "What? I just didn't want some old man's ugly hands on you!" Dazai flicked your forehead, giggling childishly as you rubbed the spot he hit.

"Riiight. That's the only reason, right?"

Dazai hummed nonchalantly, but you knew better. His eyes held that familiar glint of trouble in them- the one you knew from a number of nights waking up to his face contorted in worry as he traced your features as if you weren't there- and his giggles and jests didn't hold the same teasing tone to them, as if he wasn't trying to make you adorably annoyed or humored for once.

"You were worried, weren't you?" It sounded less like a question and more like a statement.

Silence persisted.

His sighed and secured the bandaged over the wound, his smile shifting into one that held more of a sorrow to it. Dazai dipped his head down to and pressed the softest of kisses against the dip of your clavicle. You felt one of his hands slide down to plant on your hip, the other carding through the soft strands of your hair.

The answer was obvious, even if dazai wouldn't say it.

©Cheriiyaya 2024

tagging: @little-miss-chaoss @hanging-wisteria @atzuhi @lovesick-fairy @adoredazai @pinky-99 @tabathastan @ravencincaide @dazaikinniess @nyx-prodigy @himikoslove @teddirika @hyacinth-venom @kaitoluver @dydrem @starracoonagain

#☾⋆⁺₊⋆ 𝕽𝖊𝖉'𝖘 𝕽𝖚𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖘 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾ #dividers by @cafekitsune #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #bungou sd #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai x fem reader #osamu dazai x y/n #osamu dazai x reader #osamu dazai x you #dazai osamu x y/n #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu bsd #dazai osamu x you #bsd imagines #beast dazai x reader #bsd beast #bungou stray dogs beast

[gritees]

unlovable

a/n: not proofread. for all my girls out there who hate themselves 🫶! this lowkey just so i could make myself feel better 💀 beware of shitty grammar! wc: 618

angst, oikawa tooru x reader

--------------------------------------------------------

sometimes you wonder how you bagged a guy like oikawa. the star athlete with hundreds of fans. he's pretty, built like a god, kind, witty, and so many other things that you can't even list out.

sometimes you wonder how he could smile at you, how he could kiss your cheek and ask about your day so lovingly, or how he could go out of his way to stand in line for two hours to buy your favorite pastries.

you're not pretty. sure, you're definitely not ugly, but you'd consider yourself average. if someone saw you on the street, they'd walk right past you because you were just another girl. nothing worth doing a double take for or asking for your number. you're not not stunning, gorgeous, breathtaking, or whatever he calls you everyday. you know you're not and you've come to accept it. it's why you begin to think he's just saying things to make you happy.

you're not an incredibly kind or sweet person. you don't forgive and you definitely don't forget. sure, you hold the door for some or help your classmates with homework problems, but far from the kind of female protagonist shown in the mangas or animes. you're not willing to forgive people who have hurt you in the past nor are you willing to sacrifice yourself for them. you don't have the golden angel halo above your head and you're selfish sometimes. you're a bitter person and incredibly angry at the world.

you're not an ambitious woman working to build an empire. you study and work hard to live an average life with a comfortable salary. nothing lavish, nothing big. you don't keep going in the face of difficulties, you give up. the first time you failed to cook a dish, you gave up immediately. because no one has time to wait for the water to finish boiling, ‘why can't i just drop the damn pasta in already.’

you just don't see any part of yourself worth loving. you're unlovable. you're just so painfully ordinary. and it's why you don't understand why he chose you, out of all great and beautiful girls out there.

but tooru sees so many things about you worth loving. he sees the good in you and he thanks the heavens everyday for giving him the opportunity to be with you. after you fall asleep, he makes it a routine to kiss every knuckle and scar and whisper all the things he loves about you. when you turn away from him, he gazes at you with the most loving eyes that anyone who sees would throw up from the raw emotions he holds for you. when you're not around him, he looks up at the stars and prays that you're safe and happy.

and when he notices how you avoid looking at yourself in the mirror or begin shying away from speaking about yourself or look enviously at other girls, he's quick to remind you.

“i want to make you see that you are worth loving. you don't see it now, but i promise you will. stay with me and i'll show you all the great things about yourself. i'll kiss every inch of your body until you forget what it's like to hate every inch of it. i’ll show you if it's the last thing i do.”

you're no honda tooru or female protagonist in a manga. but that's ok because you don't need to be. you'll stay the bitter and fragile person you are. laughing when people fall, crying when someone yells at you, but being loved by oikawa tooru makes it all worth it. and slowly, you begin to see yourself in a different light.

--------------------------------------------------------

a/n: reality is that a man can't fix you. wish it was so simple that someone loving you can make all our insecurities go away but it is what it is. at least fanfiction me is happy 🤷🏻‍♀️

YOU GUYS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU!

#haikyuu x reader #oikawa tōru #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa toru x reader #hq oikawa #haikyuu angst #haikyuu #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa angst #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x you #angst

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

Flame-Bright | Part 2

After a literal age..........I finally wrote it. AND LET ME TELL U WHAT. It's not proofread, that's for sure! Genre: BFFS to ???? in this part, sports statistician!part time model!seungcheol x fem!fashion designer!reader Check out pt 1 for warnings, all still apply, DEFINITELY a menty b is described pretty generously and it is almost exactly how I experience bad bad bad mental health days. no smut in this part, there miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight be some *closed door* or implied smut in the next (and final) part. Also sorry if the end feels rushed....................................I have no good excuse just kind of wanted to write the next part because this part was SO angsty and hard for me to write. ALSO healthy levels of angst in this one, reader is DUMB AF sorry if that's frustrating, etc etc etc peace and love and sorry for all the warnings I probably forgot. A/N: This is also lowkey a love letter for @forcheol bc she fuels my fire for this cutie boy. breathe with me hani it's all gonna be ok

“I have a surprise for you!” Seungcheol practically sings as he crosses the threshold into your apartment. 

“Are you finally going to let me sell your extra kidney on the black market?” you ask, your gaze laser-focused on the fabric in front of you as you make slow, painstaking cuts. “Because if not, I’m not interested.”

Seungcheol scoffs. “Firstly, we’ve been over this. I don’t have an extra kidney. I have the two I was born with.”

“But you only need one,” you remind him. “So the other one is superfluous.”

He shakes his head. “Secondly, it’s not that, but I’m pretty sure you’ll like this almost as much.”

“Will it make me a lot of money?” you say with a final snip through the thick velvet.

“Is that all you care about?” he asks you as you look up at him. He’s half-smiling with an eyebrow raised, and you can tell he’s fighting back a bigger grin. 

“Duh,” you say. “No, but seriously. What’s the surprise?”

“I’m moving!” he announces excitedly. 

Your jaw drops, along with your heart. “Wait, like…away?” you ask him.

“No, silly,” he reassures. “It’s a ten-minute walk in your direction from my old place.”

“So you’re moving…closer to me?” you ask, doing the mental math.

“Only about five minutes’ walk from here,” he says proudly. “And you know what’s the best part?”

His eyes are a little too eager. “Are you about to ask me to do something?” you ask, narrowing your eyes at him.

His smile falters a little bit, and you roll your eyes. “I knew it! What do you want from me?”

“Well, it’s something you’d like…something you’re good at…” he says sheepishly.

“So why are you hesitating?”

“I need you to feng shui the place,” Seungcheol blurts. “Um… decorate. So that it doesn’t turn into a mojo dojo casa house.”

“That’s it? I’d love to do that. I don’t know why you were so scared to ask.”

He smiles grimly. “Well, you’ll understand when we get there.”

******

“Hey, uh….you in there?” Seungcheol asks you, his worried eyes taking in your dropped jaw and the way your feet are absolutely cemented to the sidewalk. 

“You bought this house?” you manage to choke out, finally tearing your eyes away from the structure to look at Seungcheol.

You knew this place – of course you did. How many times had you passed by to admire it, secretly daydreaming about planting camellia bushes by the front door and adding a swing to its old wraparound porch? How many unspoken wishes had you made at its front gate as you’d stared into its old boarded-up windows?

But this house – the one you’d fallen in love with despite its ugliness – was no longer boarded up. You’d wondered when it had been fixed up, supposing that in your business with work, you hadn’t had the time to take walks around the neighborhood. But now the porch is clean, the weeds have been pulled, new grass has been put down in the front yard, and the entire face of the house has been re-painted. It looks like a new home, with its pretty white brick and freshly-shingled brown roof, perfect for a new owner.

“When?” you ask. “When did you do this?”

“Oh, months ago,” Seungcheol admits meekly.

“And you waited to tell me – why?” you ask him, in a too-loud voice that makes a lady passing by stare at you in alarm as she hurries her small dog along.

“I’m sorry, I just…I kind of wanted it to be a surprise?” You give him your best “be serious” look, and he caves. “Okay, well, the truth is that I was toying with buying it for literally years, and the price dropped about six months ago.”

You realize what he’s getting at. “Oh,” you say softly. “About the time I got promoted.”

“And you were so busy,” Seungcheol says in a pleading tone. “I barely saw you regardless. And I knew you’d feel guilty if you knew I was fixing up the place and it was so close by and you couldn’t help. I was trying to prevent you from adding one more thing to your plate.”

You bite your lip. “Well, I can’t say I’m happy about it, but I guess I understand.” And if you’re being honest with yourself, you also know he’s right. You would’ve felt guilty. You feel guilty now, looking at the house that Seungcheol built without you, knowing you took no part in the remaking of this place that was so dear to you. Well, I suppose I’ll have to change that, you think to yourself.

“Do you want to see the inside?” Seungcheol suggests, seeming to guess the bittersweetness you’re feeling.

“Yes,” you say, following him up the walkway into the home.

It’s beautiful inside – but it’s empty. You try to distract yourself from your mixed emotions by putting your designer hat on. “So what do you want it to look like?” you ask Seungcheol, who is still watching you like he’s scared you’ll start yelling at him.

“I want it to look like I live here,” he answers simply. “You know me really well, so I kind of figured I’d trust you to do your thing.”

“I’m not an interior decorator,” you remind him. “But I’ll do my best. What’s your budget?”

At this, Seungcheol blushes. “Don’t worry about it.”

You level a sharp gaze at him. “Just how rich are you?”

“Do I have to answer that?” he begs.

“Yes,” you snap.

“Why are you mad?” he asks you.

“Because you kept such a massively huge secret from me – and now it seems like there’s another thing or two I still have to find out about you.” You sigh. “You’re my best friend, Seungcheol. You know everything there is to know about me. I thought it was the same for you.”

You know before Seungcheol even says anything that you crossed some invisible line -- his eyes flash with a fire you've seen in him when discussing your exes, but only rarely does he look at you like this. “Oh yeah?” he says quietly, but there’s a hard edge to his voice. “When was I supposed to bring it up to you, huh? When you were averaging 3 hours of sleep a night trying to learn your new role? When you were sick for three weeks after your first big project because you’d worked yourself to the bone, and I had to come check on you every day to make sure you hadn’t died in your sleep? When would it have been a good time to tell you?” He pauses at the sight of your face, at the hurt and shock there, and takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I’m sorry. I guess it’s just … I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to break the news.”

“I never asked,” you whisper. “It’s not all your fault. I – I never ask you what’s going on in your life. I’m a really selfish friend.” You bite your tongue to keep the tears that you can feel burning in your eyes from overflowing. It hurts to realize how much you rely on him, and how little he feels like he can do the same.

“No,” Seungcheol denies, his voice distressed. “No, listen. It’s not like that, either. It is the same for me. I always want to tell you when something happens in my life, but I just worry about complicating things for you. I know you always have a lot going on. There’s more moving parts to your life than there is to mine.” He takes a step closer to you. “And we’re not friends because you ask me about my day. We’re friends because we like being around each other.”

You can quite literally feel yourself dancing around what you wish you could say to Choi Seungcheol. Your heart is in your throat, and you have to take a deep breath before mustering up a smile — though it feels completely false. “You’re right,” you breathe. “But I still want to know. It might be a lot to handle but you have to give me the choice, Seungcheol.” 

And you don’t say it — you can’t— but you think: it’s worth it if it’s you. And you can’t help but let one tear spill over.

Seungcheol makes a move toward you, but you hold your hand out to stop him. “I’m fine,” you reassure him, brushing the tear away and clearing your throat. “I just feel bad that I haven’t been as solid for you as you have for me.”

“I’m worried you’re now feeling like I regret taking care of you,” Seungcheol warns, his hands outstretched as though to pull you in. “I don’t mean to complain.”

You manage a watery chuckle. “I don’t feel like you’re complaining.”

“You know that’s how it goes, though, right?” he presses, seemingly unable to move on until he’s sure you understand. “Sometimes we’re both solid, sometimes I carry you, sometimes you carry me, sometimes we have to carry each other. That’s just life.”

You purse your lips at him. “Sounds like someone got an A in therapy.”

“At least I go to therapy.” 

“Touché,” you reply drily, once again turning your gaze to the large entryway. “Well, I’ll need a tour if I’m gonna help you decorate this place.”

“Come with me,” Seungcheol offers, tilting his head at the arched doorframe leading to a wide open room. 

“This is gonna be the kitchen,” Seungcheol informs you. “But I have no appliances or anything yet. But I want it to be a good entertaining space.”

“You’re planning on having people over?” you ask, trying to hide how shocked and delighted you are. One of the reasons you know you’re close with Seungcheol is that you’re one of the few friends he invites over.

“Of course, now that I’ve got the space,” he replies, a little miffed. “I didn’t have people over before because my apartment was small.” He gestures to the middle of the room. “I want a big table here. One where everyone can fit.”

The way he says it — so earnest, so sincere. A place for everyone. Everyone fits. You smile. “I love that.”

Seungcheol beams, and your knees go wobbly before you can prevent it. 

***

The tour was, overall, a success. Regardless of your initial surprise, the thought that Seungcheol was going to own the home you’d loved for so long felt right. You were buzzing with ideas — some less comfortable than others. For some reason, the idea of designing Seungcheol’s master bedroom raised the hair on your neck.

You’re just about to leave when you notice a door in the entryway that you didn’t explore. “Where does that go?” you ask, approaching it to open it, but Seungcheol steps in front of it smoothly, cutting you off.

He raises an eyebrow. “Don’t worry about it,” he says with a smile, staring you down with unshakable confidence.

“Well, now I’m worried about it. What are you hiding?” you say, trying to skirt around Seungcheol. He very easily wraps an arm around your waist and hoists you around so that he’s between you and the door again, and though the sudden contact is alarming, you glare at him over your shoulder. 

“Did you kill someone and hide the body in there?” you ask.

Seungcheol rolls his eyes. “No. That’s the best you could come up with?”

“Is there some weird culty crap in there, then? Are you planning on running a compound?”

“I actually don’t think I have the charisma necessary to be a cult leader,” he reasons. “I hate that you’ve thought that much about it,” you grumble, “but I kind of agree.”

“Hey!” he says, indignant. “You’re not supposed to bring up my lack of rizz.”

“You don’t have cult leader rizz, Seungcheol. That’s a compliment.” You shake your head. “This is a stupid conversation, and you still haven’t told me what’s in there!”

“That’s true,” he agrees, smiling sunnily down at you.

“I thought we said no more secrets,” you say, meeting his gaze.

“It’s not a secret. It’s a surprise,” he rationalizes, and you roll your eyes.

“So I’ll see it eventually?”

“Most definitely you will,” he assures. “Also, why were your first two guesses murder and cults? What kind of person do you think I am?”

“I hyperfixated on a true crime podcast last week,” you explain.

“Ah. Well, why don’t you hyperfixate on happier things? How busy are you today? Can we start shopping?”

He sounds so eager that you can’t bring yourself to shut him down, but the mysterious door stays in your head all the way up until your first post-breakup date with Jinho.

It is a bit of a rocky start. Jinho is an hour and a half late picking you up — but at least he texted beforehand, a definite improvement for how it’d been when you’d dated. “I’m so sorry,” he says, breathlessly, as he sweeps you into the cab. “I had a lot to do and it kind of got away from me.”

“It’s okay,” you say softly, tugging uncomfortably at the itchy black dress with its constricting high neck that had been hiding in the back of your closet since Jinho got it for you. He’d once complained that you never wore it, and you figured it would comfort him to see you making an effort to connect again, too.

The cab ride is pleasant enough, with Jinho talking about his work and his day. “How was your day?” he asks. 

“Well, actually,” you tell him, “my friend Seungcheol bought that old house I’ve loved forever.”

“The one five minutes from your apartment?” Jinho asks. He’d been familiar with the place. “The one that was kind of a dump?”

“It had character,” you say, a little affronted. “And yes, that one. He renovated it and asked me to help him decorate.”

“Does he need art?” Jinho asks interestedly.

You consider for a minute. For some reason, the idea of Seungcheol meeting Jinho feels like crossing a line. “He might,” you allow. “I’ll ask him.”

“I’ll get him a friends’ discount,” Jinho says eagerly. “I actually need more clients these days.”

You nod, grinning at his enthusiasm and pulling out your phone to text Seungcheol and ask if he needs art. After you’re finished sending the text, you pull at your collar again, noticing that you’re sweating a little in the hot air from the car heaters, exacerbating the itch.

Jinho takes your hand in his. “I’m nervous too,” he says quietly.

And even though he misinterpreted your discomfort for nerves, it’s a little endearing to hear him admit that you’re affecting him. So you don’t withdraw your hand.

***

Seungcheol was at work with you the next day. You’d been too busy with the release of the line, so you hadn’t been able to be there for the promotional photos he’d taken for the company website. But a fashion magazine had wanted to use your brand for an upcoming editorial, and Minghao thought it would be good to have a familiar face in the room for Seungcheol, who the magazine had specifically requested to work with.

His first look was a ribbed black turtleneck with white trim beneath a distressed leather jacket. He looked amazing -- of course he did -- but you were expecting him to. What you were not expecting was how attractive Seungcheol became as he effortlessly shifted from your sweet and generous and warm best friend into a haughty, confident, smirking model. One second, Seungcheol was enthusing about how soft the turtleneck was, and the next, he was smoldering like a forgotten fire into the camera.

The photographer was obsessed with him. It was almost bothersome how often she approached him just to tweak his pose in the most insignificant way possible. You were almost positive it was just so she could let her hands flutter over the fine structure of his face and the perfect planes of his shape. It annoyed you even more that Seungcheol didn’t even seem to notice. He (infuriatingly) shot her a grateful smile after every correction.

You try to keep it out of your voice as you greet him at the end of the shoot. “You did amazing,” you say, because it’s the only thing you can trust to sound genuine about the experience. 

“Thanks,” Seungcheol says easily. He’d finished the shoot in a stunning black denim set beaded with white crystal flames up the arms. Anyone else in this outfit might look a little crazy, but not him. He made it look like something anyone could wear. “These clothes are really comfy!” Seungcheol says, interrupting your errant thoughts (about him).

“That’s the idea,” you say with a smile. “Are you all tired out?”

“Why? Did you want to do something?”

You make a guilty face at his cheerful tone. “Meet with Jinho about the art?”

To his credit, Seungcheol only lets his smile slip a fraction before he agrees. You don’t need to ask him why he might not particularly want to meet with Jinho — as far as Seungcheol is concerned, the jury is still out in regards to your prodigal ex come home. He’d responded to the message you’d sent asking if Jinho could help him with a clipped “sure”, which honestly was enough to let you know that the three of you collaborating on this project was going to be weird at best and wildly uncomfortable at worst.

But still, Seungcheol travels to your apartment with you to await Jinho — even standing up as he arrives and greets you with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. “Hey,” he says breathlessly. “Did you wait long?”

“Not at all,” you say reassuringly, looking between them. You don’t know why, but it almost makes you laugh to watch them size each other up. Jinho’s eyes widen just slightly as they take in Seungcheol’s impressive build, and he can’t suppress a swallow as Seungcheol looks him over with an appraising sort of gaze. Although a couple inches shorter than Jinho, Seungcheol’s presence is far more impactful. 

You can almost hear the tension siphon out of the room as Seungcheol finally breaks a smile. “Hi,” he says, holding out his hand. “I’m Seungcheol.”

“I’m Jinho,” he replies, taking the offered hand and wincing a little as Seungcheol squeezes. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Have you?” Seungcheol says, shooting you a look.

“Well, I heard you renovated that house,” Jinho says hurriedly, finally taking a seat at the table. 

“I did,” Seungcheol says, easing himself into a chair. “And it’s looking pretty bare at the moment.”

“Well, I hope I can help with that,” Jinho says fervently. 

“She tells me you’re quite good at your job,” Seungcheol says, gesturing at you.

Jinho’s eyes sparkle as he looks at you, and your heart turns over in your chest. “Very kind of you,” he says.

You shrug. “Just true.” Never mind that you sometimes wished Jinho was worse at his job so he had more time for you. You try not to let the bitterness of that thought make a show on your face.

Seungcheol is watching both of you carefully when Jinho turns his attention to him. “What’s the budget we’re working with?” Jinho asks.

Seungcheol shrugs. “I’m pretty flexible.”

Jinho’s eyes go wide. “What, exactly, do you do for work?”

“I’m a sports statistician,” Seungcheol replies with a wry smile, “but I inherited a lot of money from my grandfather and spent the last ten years building a pretty significant real estate portfolio.”

Jinho nods in understanding while you gape at your friend. “You never told me that!” you say. 

“Maybe I didn’t want you to like me for the money,” Seungcheol teases, smiling at your flabbergasted face.

“Mostly commercial real estate?” asks Jinho. 

“Mostly business parks,” Seungcheol confirms. “I own a hotel downtown too.”

“Is the house your first residential acquisition?”

“The first I plan on living in myself,” Seungcheol clarifies.

Jinho nods. “Well, we can go one of three routes. You can use the art as another type of investment, or you can use it as just decor, or both.”

“I’m leaning toward decor,” Seungcheol says, “but investments would be cool, too.” He pulls out his phone. “I like calm pieces like this,” he explains, pointing at a few reference paintings — boats at a dock at sunrise, a still-life of dandelions on the shore of a pond, a cozy-looking city street in autumn. “Nothing too modern or sterile.”

Jinho nods again. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll see what I can do.”

It takes another half hour of finagling to get Jinho out of the apartment so you can whirl on Seungcheol. “Commercial real estate?” you say in a tiny voice. 

“Yeah,” he says, and you can hear the tension from the argument yesterday in his voice.

“I’m not mad,” you say quickly.

“I know,” he says back. You stare at each other for a long time. 

“Have I ever stayed in the hotel you own?” you finally ask to break the stony silence.

“Have you ever stayed in the Grandeur?” he fires back.

“You own the Grandeur?” you gasp, jaw dropping automatically. 

“Yeah,” he says again. “We had my birthday there once and I liked it so much I thought…” He trails off and blushes. 

“You thought what?”

And sheepishly, he looks down at the floor and replies in a quiet voice, “I thought it’d be a good birthday present.”

He actually laughs at the look on your face when he notices you. “This was all before I knew you,” he admits.

You sit down at the table with him again. “Okay, so, for the past few years we’ve been friends, you’ve been the richest person I’ve ever met. And I’ve met some very wealthy people. Like, when I bumped into you in the elevator, you were already a very wealthy man.”

“Yes,” he confirms. “This is why I think it’s silly to go Dutch when we go out to eat.”

“But you never said anything—“

“Because then I’d sound like a terrible person. ‘No, it’s fine, I’ll get this, I’m actually way richer than you.’”

“I might not have taken it that way,” you say doubtfully.

“Does it really change that much to know that I’m rich?” he asks. “I’m the same guy from before. Same personality and everything.”

“I know. It’s just weird to have to do the mental shift.”

“You don’t have to shift anything,” Seungcheol insists. “Everything is the same as it was before. You just have more information about me.”

“Why is this so weird for me?” you groan, slumping in your seat. “Intellectually, I get that you’re the same dude. But it just seems like you have this whole side of your life that you kept from me.”

“Maybe I was worried you’d react poorly,” Seungcheol says with a raised eyebrow.

You have to laugh at that. “You could be hanging out with celebrities. You could be dating models. But you hang out with me.”

He grins. “Well, you’re a lot more fun than most rich people.”

“Really?” you ask, rubbing at your forehead tiredly. “I guess being a disaster is entertaining, if nothing else.”

“You aren’t a disaster,” Seungcheol says with a warning tone. “And, for the third time, nothing is really different.”

“One thing’s for sure, though.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m never paying for another meal again,” you say, finally managing a real smile.

Seungcheol nods in approval. “That was how I hoped you’d react.”

“Just immediately start taking advantage of you?” you ask with a laugh.

“Well, yeah, pretty much,” Seungcheol says, and finally all the discomfort you’d been feeling dissolves into thin air as the two of you laugh together again. 

***

“So…you spend a lot of time with Seungcheol,” Jinho says at dinner next weekend. 

“Well, yeah,” you say. “He’s my best friend.”

Jinho nods thoughtfully, but he doesn’t look happy. “Do you think Seungcheol has ever had feelings for you?” he finally asks.

“I’m pretty certain he’s never felt anything past platonic for me,” you say, staring into your glass of water. “Why?”

Jinho gives you a long, hard look before answering. “You seem very close.”

“Like siblings?” you offer up half-heartedly. “There’s nothing going on between us, I promise. If there was, I wouldn’t have agreed to start seeing you again.”

Jinho nods. “I believe you. He just — he’s kind of intense, isn’t he?”

You contemplate. “I think he can be,” you finally respond. “Seungcheol is like … I don’t know. Maybe a fire is the best analogy. Capable of being comforting and quite destructive.”

“If he’s the flame, what does that make me?” Jinho asks you. He slips his hand into yours. 

You give him a little half-smile. “If he’s fire, you’re water.”

“Water usually beats fire,” Jinho says, sounding a bit comforted.

You squeeze his hand. “It’s not a competition.”

Because it isn’t. Seungcheol’s fire, as far as you could tell, burned deeper within him than the Marianna Trench, a terrifyingly powerful passion held in check by a man with enough kindness to keep it bubbling under the surface instead of spilling out onto everything around him. Jinho was more akin to swimming in the shallows. It was a comforting thing to be able to see his limits.

This is the first night that you kiss Jinho, post-breakup. The kiss is sugar-sweet, brief, and nervous — like you’re high school kids again. Your heart speeds up a little as your lips just brush.

And there is no fire to it at all.

***

You wake up the next day with a heaviness that seems to have burrowed its way into the marrow of your bones. It’s more emotional than physical, but the telltale ache of your body is enough to have you calling Minghao mid-morning. “I can’t come in,” you tell him. “I'm coming down with something.”

“Rest up,” he tells you, and you’re very grateful for him and how understanding he is as you end the call. 

Your first thought would normally be to call Seungcheol, but you dial Jinho’s number instead. When he doesn’t answer — probably still asleep, you reason — you slump on your bed, exhausted and unable to do much else besides stare at the ceiling of your bedroom.

This kind of sickness is awful. It’s even more awful when you’re facing it alone — when there’s no one there that can warm up the cold inside you. You can’t even muster up energy to leave your bed. The thought of cooking something is laughable. The emptiness and silence of it all is paralyzing. You’re lucky — for you, this inconvenient reality of your mental illness is rare — but when it hits, it’s difficult to remember what the point is of anything. 

Time crawls by like an inchworm across a vast, bare desert. If you had been able to feel anything at all, you know you’d be feeling acutely miserable. And still you lay there, uncomfortably warm in the light of day, still tangled in your blankets but unable to move them.

It’s a mystery to you how long you lay like this before a buzzing splits the silence. With tremendous effort, you grab your phone and look at the caller ID, expecting to see Jinho returning your call. But it’s Seungcheol.

“Hi,” he says once you’ve managed to answer it. “I haven’t heard from you today. You okay?”

“Hi,” you say in a flat, robotic tone, devoid of normal expression.

And in one word, Seungcheol knows. 

“I’m coming over,” he says, and hangs up.

A little drop of emotion seems to spill from your otherwise empty cup — anxiety. Seungcheol knows that you have days where life is harder than others. He’s also never seen you this incapacitated by one of them. A little knot of panic starts to grow in your chest, amplified by the seemingly hours-long minutes it takes Seungcheol to get to you. But when you finally hear him at the door, he lets himself in. 

He quietly makes his way back into your bedroom and sits at your bedside. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says softly.

You try to get your mouth to move — no dice. Instead, you just slightly turn your body to face him, trying your hardest to focus your gaze on him so he knows you heard him.

And Seungcheol leans down and scoops you up out of your blankets, lifting you easily from the bed and onto the couch. He doesn’t let you go, though, just keeps ahold of you. He holds you in a hug until the feeling starts to come back into your limbs and you’re able to reach your arms around him and cling on tight. And then he keeps you in his arms for several more minutes for good measure. You barely notice his sigh of relief and the way he relaxes into your grasp when you finally wrap your arms around him.

When he pulls away, you cringe. But he just pushes your hair off your face and looks you over, and the warmth of his hands on you soothes whatever raw part of yourself began to ache when he stopped holding you.

And he doesn’t ask you what happened, or try to make you explain anything. He just asks you if you’ve eaten. 

“No,” you rasp. It’s the first word you’ve spoken since the phone call. And so Seungcheol makes you eggs. He watches like a hawk as you mechanically bring the fork to your mouth until the eggs are gone. And then he sits beside you, quietly reading, until the sun goes down and Jinho arrives.

By that time, you still feel lethargic and nowhere near normal, but you can stomach a conversation. Jinho puts his arms around you and holds you tight as Seungcheol slips out the door, and you nestle in close, trying to feel the same warmth you felt when it was your best friend holding you. “Bad day?” Jinho asks softly, pressing a kiss into your hair. And you laugh — because he’s not wrong. But how can you explain this?

Luckily he doesn’t ask you to. The two of you put on a comforting cartoon and cuddle on the couch all night. Jinho is asleep, holding you, before you can put together how he even knew something was wrong. And when you do put it together, it hits you like a gut punch. Because there’s no one else who knew. 

Seungcheol has saved you once again. 

***

Two months later

“You better not drop that,” Seungcheol warns Mingyu, who shoots you a longsuffering look as he carries in a sleek overhead lamp to go in Seungcheol’s office.

“Go easy on him! He managed the glassware really well!” you scold, hitting Seungcheol lightly on the sleeve. “And shouldn’t you be carrying something?”

“He said he’s supervising,” Wonwoo says owlishly, right on Mingyu’s tail with a small box of paperweights. 

Seungcheol throws up his arms at the look you level at him. “I helped move all the heavy stuff,” he calls after Wonwoo, who’s disappearing up the stairs.

“So did Mingyu, but you don’t see him sitting around watching,” you tease with a smile. 

Seungcheol rolls his eyes and heads for the door, stepping around Jinho, who’s bringing in the last of the paintings for the gallery wall in the library. “Need help?” you ask as he comes to you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“No, that’s okay,” he says. “You should help Vernon, though. I’ve heard he’s struggling with the jerseys.”

So you head into the east wing of the house, which Seungcheol has converted into an entertainment center. There are working arcade games, a pool table, a foosball table, and a projector complete with a huge drop-down screen for movies. Seungcheol, ever the sports fanatic, has acquired three priceless signed jerseys: a Pedro Martinez-signed Mets jersey, a Michael Jordan-signed Bulls jersey, and a Steve Young-signed 49ers jersey. Vernon is positioned underneath the wall where the Jordan and Martinez jerseys are already hung, staring pensively.

“You needed help?”

“They’re too far apart,” Vernon says. “There’s no room for the last one.”

“How long did it take you to do this?” you ask tiredly.

“Like two hours,” he replies with a sigh. 

So the two of you spend the rest of the afternoon taking down the jerseys and repositioning them. By the time you’re done, the rest of the house is practically finished. It’s amazing to see how much livelier it feels now that it’s not all empty white walls. 

“We have less than two hours until the housewarming party,” you remind Seungcheol, who’s sitting on the entryway steps looking exhausted. “Don’t you need to change?”

“Have you picked out my outfit yet?” he asks as Jinho comes up behind you and slides a hand around your waist. 

“I am nothing if not capable of meeting deadlines,” you remind him, squeezing Jinho’s hand and then beckoning Seungcheol up to his bedroom. Deftly, you lay his outfit out on his bed for him: a pair of light brown chinos, some black loafers, and a gift bag.

He raises his eyebrows. “What’s this?” he complains, but you can see a bit of his dimple and know he’s trying to hide a smile.

“Your housewarming present from me,” you tell him. “Now open it.”

He does — and reveals a soft black collared shirt. “This is nice,” he says, rubbing the material with his fingers. 

“I made it,” you say. 

“You did?” he asks, looking at you so quickly you think you hear his neck pop.

“By hand. With love,” you say, and open your arms to him.

He doesn’t hesitate to pull you in, wrapping you up in a squeeze. “It’s perfect,” he says into your hair. “Thanks.”

“And,” you say, pulling back before his closeness gives you goosebumps, “a finishing touch.” You hand him a small box. “From Jinho.”

Surprised, Seungcheol opens the box. Inside is a slim black watch. “Wow. I should go tell him thank you,” Seungcheol says.

“Yes, you should,” you agree. “And then you should shower.” You crinkle your nose, and Seungcheol scoffs before running downstairs to say thank you to Jinho for the help and the watch.

You don’t have a lot of time to get ready for the housewarming party, so you end up showering quickly and throwing your hair into a messy bun before putting on your nice clothes and running downstairs to the cab Jinho brought to pick you up. Together, you make the short drive to the house, where you can already see a small crowd of people standing in that beautiful entryway. 

You grasp Jinho’s hand as the two of you walk in, greeting the friends you know and looking at the house with the renewed attention of people who aren’t trying to decorate it. It’s beautiful and cozy, with a natural, elevated style that suits the owner perfectly. Seungcheol’s house is full of earthy colors and calming textures, and you couldn’t be more proud. 

As is so often the case in a crowd, you find yourself looking for the man of the hour — and your heart sinks as your eyes follow the errant sound of his laughter in the high-ceiling room. Seungcheol is standing with a beautiful woman, laughing heartily at something she said. 

You knew he’d stopped seeing that pretty, knowledgeable sports reporter about two weeks after it started, but you hadn’t heard anything else about his love life since. You had a sense that Seungcheol tried to keep you separate from his romantic relationships, and so you didn’t want to pry. But surely he’d have said something to you if he really was seeing someone.

Someone calls your name, bringing you back to earth. “Minghao?” you say in disbelief.

“Hi,” Minghao says with a wave. 

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Seungcheol invited me,” he says simply. 

“Wow, that’s cool,” you say, still confused at the sight of your boss just hanging out with all your friends. “Minghao, this is Jinho. Jinho, meet Minghao — he’s my boss.”

They shake hands while you try to figure out why you didn’t introduce Jinho as your boyfriend. Minghao asks you if you’re excited for your award ceremony tomorrow night — turns out, one of your shoots won some kind of award.

“Kind of,” you reply. “I’m a little nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous,” Jinho says gently. “You deserve the award.”

You give his hand a squeeze, and then Seungcheol steps away from the woman (after giving her shoulder a squeeze, which makes you grit your teeth), and stands on one of the steps of the staircase to address the group. 

“Thank you all for your help and for coming to this housewarming party. I wouldn’t have been able to make this move without lots of help, so I’m super grateful.” He looks right at you then, and you see that carefully caged fire beneath his brown eyes. You feel the rest of the world melt away as he continues. “I want this to be a place where you feel welcome. I want you to feel as comfortable here as you do in your own home. Please let this be the beginning of a tradition where you know you can show up on my porch at any time and there will be a warm greeting for you.”

Your heart is in your throat. The eye contact between you two seems to connect your souls, searing into you like a hot branding iron, marking you forever. 

And then it passes, and you take a deep shuddering breath. Jinho looks at you in alarm. And Seungcheol finishes, “there are drinks and snacks — stay as long as you like.”

As everyone else mulls around the house, eating and drinking and laughing together, Seungcheol comes up to you and Jinho. "Thank you for your help," he says to Jinho, and his smile is genuine and kind. "I really couldn't have managed without you. The art is fantastic."

"Anytime," Jinho says, blushing. You grin at the sight of his shyness.

"I wanted to show you something," Seungcheol says, taking Jinho by the arm. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," you say, waving them off. The two men disappear into the crowd, and you walk toward Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Vernon, who are all standing at the edge of the room laughing with each other. "Hey," you say, and Mingyu sweeps you into his side in a quick hug.

"Hi," they chorus together. "You cleaned up nice," Wonwoo says, pointing at your dress.

"Thanks!" you say, a little surprised. Wonwoo usually wasn't the most vocal in his appreciation, and the compliment melted you just a little.

"Seungcheol told him to say that," Vernon says, with the air of a toddler tattling on his brother.

Your heart warms at the thought. "Of course he did," you say. "He's entirely too good to me."

"Where is Jinho?" asks Mingyu.

"Seungcheol dragged him off somewhere," you say. "I don't know."

The three of you discuss the usual gossip -- the other boys' love lives -- all the way up until Seungcheol and Jinho find you again. Jinho looks a little rattled, but pulls it together when he sees you.

"Where did he take you?" you ask him.

"I'll tell you later." It came out in such a flat little voice that you know something is wrong, but you don't feel like you can ask him about it, so you just stay quiet.

And you feel such sweeping emptiness that you find yourself dissociating from the party. Seungcheol introduces you to his friends you didn’t know already, and even in your disconnected state you register the pretty woman’s name — Nikita. She is so nice to you, telling you how much she loves the decor in “Cheol’s” house. 

It’s enough to send you home with a headache an hour and a half later.

***

It’s 8:45pm. Jinho left your award ceremony to go to the bathroom, and he still hasn’t come back. 

Things have been weird since last night. You’re starting to get the feeling that Jinho notices how you’re affected by Seungcheol and isn’t happy about it. It makes you feel rubbed raw, like your whole body has carpet burn. 

But now, you’re starting to panic. Jinho was the one who drove you downtown to this swanky party your company threw for you, and now you’re 45 minutes from home with just your phone — no wallet to pay for a cab if Jinho really did run off. 

Your phone rings — it’s Jinho. 

“Where are you?” you ask in a panic, your voice cracking with stress.

“I left,” Jinho says calmly. “I’m sorry. But I think there are some things you’ve been lying to me about. So for your own sake, and for my sanity, we can’t do this anymore.”

“Lying?” you say, choking around the word. “What do you mean?”

“Call Seungcheol. I bet he can explain it to you,” Jinho says harshly. And he hangs up.

The only reason why you don’t call Seungcheol immediately upon hearing the line go dead is because you’re in shock. You’d thought that the very real, very intensely powerful feelings you felt for Seungcheol wouldn’t get in the way of developing a new relationship — possibly hoping that any new feelings would push out the old ones.

But those old feelings had grown roots. And now they sat there, planted in your chest, too entangled with the person you are to be plucked out, and you’d been refusing to look at them, but now it was time. Jinho was right — you’d lied to him when you’d said there was nothing there. You’d lied to yourself for months, maybe years. The only person it seemed that you hadn’t lied to about it was Seungcheol himself, and that was simply because he’d never asked. If he’d asked, you would’ve lied to him too — lied until you were blue in the face, lied until you both believed it, because the truth would surely kill whatever good thing existed between the two of you.

The truth being, of course, that you are in love with Choi Seungcheol.

You’ve fought it so long it almost relieves you to say it, if only just to yourself. You’re in love with him, and you know now that no matter how much anyone else tries, you’re going to end up right back here, wanting him.

Your hands shake as you call him. 

He answers on the second ring.

“Jinho left me at the party,” you say hazily. “I’m 45 minutes away and I don’t have my wallet. I’m — I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Seungcheol says. You can hear him moving around, probably looking for his coat and his keys, and then he says, “are you okay? Where are you right now?”

You look around. Unbeknownst to you, your feet carried you out of the event space and into the lobby area, where you’re alone. “I’m okay. I’m by myself. I'm still inside the venue.”

“Stay right there, and don’t move. I’m coming.”

You expect the time to crawl by as you wait for Seungcheol, a pit of dread building in your stomach, but before you know it, he’s walking in and scooping you into his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he says, and you don’t have the strength to resist melting into him. Unconsciously, you wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in his chest. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you whisper back. “I did this to myself.”

“There’s no good excuse for him to leave you here,” Seungcheol says sharply. 

He takes you out to his car. The drive home is almost silent, as you let tears fall into your lap, staining your pink dress. When you finally get to your apartment, Seungcheol helps you inside before he turns to you, jaw clenched. “I ought to kill him,” he says in a low, dangerous voice.

“You don’t know —“ you start, but Seungcheol pulls away.

“No, I’m not going to hear this,” he says shortly. “All of our whole friendship, you’ve always accepted this kind of thing as inevitable. I have to know. Why do you do it?”

Seungcheol is angrier than you’ve ever seen him — brown eyes blazing, cheeks red and face heated. “I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you understand,” you ask in a flat little voice. 

“I haven’t ever seen you be treated well in a relationship. And that’s not your fault, but I guess I don’t know why you stick around when time after time they make you miserable.” He pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “I watch them hurt you, over and over again. Why do you just take it? Why don’t you fight for yourself?”

“I — because of love?” you squeak. “Love means — love means you stay.”

And your heart breaks. Because every time someone else walked away from you, it reinforced the idea that you were uncared for. Because no matter how well the relationship started, it always ends up hurting you more than anyone. And because the only man who’s never hurt you is the one in front of you right now, and even if he did love you, you don’t trust that you could believe it. 

He takes your face in his hands. “It’s not love. Love isn’t the thing that breaks your heart. At least, not when it’s healthy.” He brushes a tear off your face with his thumb. “Someone who truly loves you wouldn’t leave you behind like that.”

Maybe his fire lights some of yours too — because now, you’re angry. Angry enough to push his hands from your face, to turn away from those eyes that are so beseeching and so understanding and so right. “Are you the expert?” you ask him quietly, but your hands are shaking and your voice is lethal. “What do you really know about love?”

His jaw flexes — his eyes flash — he crosses his arms over his chest. “Everything I know about love,” he says with a barely contained voice, “I have learned from you.”

You have no words for this. So you stand, breathless, watching Seungcheol. Waiting.

He sighs. And then comes undone. The tears start to flow down his cheeks. But when you move toward him, he steps away. “I’ve loved you for so long it’s hard to imagine a time when I didn’t. When I try to find someone else, I end up falling in love with pieces of them that remind me of you. It’s unfair to them. I haven’t tried in awhile.”

He brushes his tears, then looks you in the eye. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ll let you…I’ll give you some space.”

And with that, he leaves you alone in your apartment, wondering how small a human is capable of feeling.

***

The next few days are torturously slow. You’re icy cold and can’t seem to get warm no matter what you do. Seungcheol doesn’t reach out — and you know it’s because he’s trying to give you space — but you sort of hate not hearing from him, not knowing what’s going on. By day three, you’ve had enough. You call him.

And the look he gives you when he shows up on your doorstep a few minutes later is almost enough to make you abandon what you know you have to say. What all that time by yourself has taught you. What you've spent all your nights crying yourself to sleep over.

But still — Seungcheol holds you. He wraps you up in his arms, his broad hand stroking the back of your head, and you can feel his heart nearly leaping out of his chest.

“I love you,” you whisper.

He freezes. Pulls back, confused. “I love you,” you repeat, louder now.

“You do?” he asks. And he’s bewildered, but he also seems to sag in relief.

“Yes,” you say. “I don’t remember when it started. It doesn’t matter. All I know is I love you.”

And when he smiles at you, for the first time in days, you don’t feel that spine-tingling cold. 

You take a deep breath.

“But I don’t think I’m in a good place for a relationship right now,” you say.

Seungcheol swallows. Hard.

“I know you don’t need to be perfect to be in a relationship,” you say. “And I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you. I’ve just learned that I don’t know how to open myself up to love. Real love. And … and if it’s you, I can’t risk it.” You take his face in your hands. “I want to be healthy. I don't want to ... depend on you so much that I lose myself, like I do with other people. I wouldn’t ask you to wait around until I’m ready,” you murmur. “So I understand if…you can’t, or won’t. But I need to figure out some things first.”

And Seungcheol wraps his arms around you once again. “You are choosing yourself this time,” he says. “And I’m proud of you.”

After a long while of holding each other, Seungcheol says, “Hear me out.”

You look at him. “What do you mean?” 

“I got an offer. To help with the Olympics.”

Your jaw drops. “In France?”

He nods. “For four months.”

You wince as this sinks in. “You want to go, don’t you?”

“I really want to go,” he says. “And maybe…”

“That would give me time.” You don’t have to ask what he’s insinuating — you already know. 

“I’m not giving you a deadline,” he says quickly. “If you’re still not…well, I was thinking we could just — just see where we’re at by then.”

You resist the urge to burst into tears, to throw yourself into his arms and beg him not to leave, and instead try to be logical about it. “A winter alone,” you muse. “Maybe it’ll be good for me.”

Seungcheol looks like he could kiss you. Instead, he squeezes you tightly. “If you need me — I mean, I’ll fly home in a second if you ask.”

And you know that he’s telling the truth, and you know that because of that, you’d never ask that of him. But you still say, “Deal.”

And then you spend the rest of the night sitting quietly, snuggled up with your best friend, determinedly not thinking about the moment you’ll need to let go.

*** 

Seungcheol leaves two days later. 

He stops by before he heads to the airport. “Will you water my plants while I’m away?” he asks. 

“Of course,” you promise.

He gives you one last searching look. “I’m not leaving you,” he reminds you.

“I know,” you say quickly. 

“And you really can ask me to come back whenever you want,” he says.

“I know,” you say, finally cracking a smile. “Go live your dream. I’ll be here when you get back.”

The final hug, a sweeter-than-honey forehead kiss — promising more — and Seungcheol is gone.

You let yourself ache for him for a minute. And then you act. 

You whip out your phone, dial a number. 

“This is Rocky Heights Mental Wellness Clinic. How can I help?” 

You smile at the chipper tone from the receptionist. “Hi,” you reply. “I’d like to set up a therapy appointment.”

#seventeen #svt #svt fluff #svt imagines #svt x reader #svt fic #svt fanfic #choi seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol #seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seventeen seungcheol #seungcheol fluff #svt scoups #scoups #cheol

[onetoomanyfandomfixations]

SPIDERPEOPLE REACT TO YOU ASKING FOR A HUG

-

MILES MORALES (1610)

Bro is So awkward about it

Happy to give you a hug though!

Doesn’t quite know where to put his arms

Squeezes SO tight

Firm believer in Miles having cold-ass hands

Tbh he needs the hug just as much as you do

Does a Lot of talking

“Hey, hey, hey, you good? You don’t look good - NOT THAT I’M SAYING YOU’RE UGLY, S H I T”

He’s doing his best, okay 💕

GWEN STACY

Doesn’t really *do* hugs

(She has the most sensory issues, tell me I’m wrong)

Will only hug you if you’re genuinely distressed

Another really awkward hugger

Uses Really nice shampoo - probs like,, a sea salt scented one or something

Is more likely to give you less intense physical touch

Shoulder bumps, leaning against one another, etc.

HOBIE BROWN

Top love language is physical touch

Probably realises you need a hug before you do tbh

Very emotionally intelligent

Gives very comforting hugs

Smells like cigarette smoke

And his manky-ass leather vest (mf does not wash this, tell me otherwise)

“Ay, ay, you good luv?”

“E’rythin’s gon’ be ok, don’ stress it,”

PAVITR PRABHAKAR

Probably a bit upset you even had to ask

Just hugs you out of the blue, expects you to do the same

Unironically calls you ‘bestie’ and ‘bro’

“Bestie!! Hi!!”

Always close by

Will be flustered if anyone points out how much he thrives off of affection

Smells like coconut oil

Please point this out, he’s very proud of it

PETER B PARKER

Dad hug 100

Very warm

The most comforting hugs

“Hey, hey, whats wrong? C’mere,”

The most likely to focus on comforting you instead of fixing the problem

The best one to have a gossip with

Will make you have a mandatory movie night with ur fave takeout

MAYDAY PARKER

Concerned babbles

Notices that something is wrong before any of the others

Tugging at Peter and Hobie to get them to notice

A Very serious face as she babbles and pats your cheeks

Best pep talk you ever got

The only time she’ll actually stay still

Will probably fall asleep on you

MIGUEL O’HARA

No

Like Gwen, not happening unless you actually really need it

Surprisingly good hugs

Very Warm

Too busy to stop and hug you, so will pick you up and continue doing whatever

Starts muttering in Spanish

“Ven aqui bebe,”

“Estás bien, te tengo”

Will lowkey forget that you’re there

Gets upset when people don’t take him seriously until he remembers that you’re clinging to him

SPIDERNOIR

Unrelated; but so cut he didn’t appear in AtSV

Another awkward hugger

Will try, but doesn’t quite know what to do

Wayyy better with verbal affirmations

“Doll, everything okay?”

“Come tell me all about it sweetheart,”

Another bitch with cold hands

Will let you fall asleep on him

#across the spiderverse #atsv #itsv #into the spider verse #atsv x reader #miles morales x reader #gwen stacy x reader #hobie brown x reader #pavitr prabhakar x reader #peter b parker x miguel o'hara #mayday parker x reader #miguel ohara x reader #spidernoir x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #miguel spiderverse #hobie brown #fandomfixation atsv #fandomfixation hcs #hug headcanons

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

i’m actually curious to hear about what was gojo, shoko, and nanami immediate reaction to finding out about the abuse megumi suffered? like the way you said that nanami was the one who found out and how it played a role in nanami wanting out of jujustu society? i can only imagine how megumi must’ve felt like he’s the type to suffer in silence and assume the worst, so i just know he thought gojo and the others knew about the abuse but thought that it was something he was suppose to shoulder for tsumiki’s sake.

it also make me curious on your interpretation of gojo and megumi dynamic bc when megumi first woke up he was lowkey surprised that gojo was with him instead of doing gojo things, like it just make me think that despite megumi looking up to gojo as a parental figure and gojo taking in megumi as his own, megumi must think that he’s not a top priority in gojo’s life especially when the abuse he suffered at the zenins come into play.

Immediate reaction:

Nanami saw Haibara.

In my mind, Haibara died saving Nanami's life. Nanami would have died; Haibara died in his place. Nanami had survivor's guilt out his ears when they first adopted megumi and tsumiki, and a part of him always thought it should have been the other way around. Haibara was the one that had so much passion for life. He had a sister and a family and people he was close to. Nanami was always just... less, in his own mind. It wasn't supposed to go this way.

What happened to Haibara haunted him. He swore he would never again be so useless as he was when that curse ripped off the lower half of his best friend's body.

Adopting Megumi and Tsumiki actually made him feel like they were doing something good, for once? Gojo had all these pie in the sky ideals for what they would make this society into that a part of Nanami couldn't help but buy into. They kept the kids together. They were all genuinely happy, for a time.

The Zenin just shattered that reality. It had been cracking all throughout their custody, and it broke irreparably when the Zenin pushed too far and didn't even seem to think they'd face consequences for that. This isn't the first time they put him in a hospital bed, is the thing, and it was sort of a slap in the face for them all to realize that they had let it get so bad that the zenin genuinely thought they could do that to their kid without fearing reprisal.

Nanami saw Haibara, experienced some of the most potent guilt and anger he's ever felt in his life, and rushed Megumi to Shoko for treatment.

Then, he went back to the Zenin compound to kick Zenin Naoya's ass.

In my mind, Nanami and Naoya has a sort of ugly dynamic in school. Nanami and Naoya were in the same class year, so they were often paired against each other in goodwill events and the like, but Gojo was the one that Naoya wanted to rival.

Naoya was always after Nanami as a student. He has an insecurity complex the size of the international space station and constantly wanted to prove he was better by stepping on Nanami. He'd tried to kick Nanami's teeth in pretty much every time they had seen each other, and if Nanami was being honest? Naoya won almost all their fights.

But a lot of jujutsu sorcery is about mindset, and Nanami had the mindset of ripping out Zenin naoya's spine. He got into a brutal, bloody, neck-and-neck, good old fashioned semipublic brawl with Naoya in the middle of the Zenin compound, which is around the time that Gojo showed up.

And Gojo's reaction is what Maki remembers: the ground shook with his anger. And he took Megumi away forever.

But first, to wrap up Nanami.

Nanami really snapped when they were all in megumi's hospital room and Yaga was trying to figure out how the hell to fix this and floated the idea of a binding vow or something regulating Megumi's treatment. He broke down, started screaming at Yaga that Yaga and the higher ups were going to kill them, they were going to kill all of them. And just. refused to go on. He couldn't do it anymore. Not if it was just going to end like haibara.

He told Gojo he was taking visitation with Megumi and Tsumiki. They'd have a set schedule where they'd go stay with him. It would be reliable. It would be a place where they could go and not have to worry about the jujutsu world. They needed stability and safety, and Nanami wasn't about to walk away from them.

He also told Gojo he wanted their passports. And it was pretty strongly implied that it was so he could take them and run if he had to. Gojo gave them to him, and they both politely pretended like that would have made a lick of difference if Nanami wanted to take them and Gojo wouldn't let him. There was no where in the world that Nanami could actually run to that wasn't at Gojo's allowance.

Shoko I'm actually gonna decline to answer for right now. She had her own issues going on that we're gonna get into with more detail in the next few chapters that heavily contextualize what her response was.

What happened to Megumi was honestly was the real turning point for Gojo. He was over halfway there with Riko and Geto and Haibara, but Megumi set him on the road to no return.

He never forgave himself for letting the Zenin alone with Megumi, and he never forgave Yaga and the higher ups, either.

I really do want to emphasize that Yaga cares, but he approaches every issue with with a fundamental distinction from Gojo's--and he sort of had to, at the beginning. He didn't have to later, but he never really acted that fact.

Gojo has all the leverage in the world, is the thing. He's got power and money and influence. He was born irreplaceable. Yaga's got some very very limited leverage. He's extremely powerful even if he's nowhere near Gojo's league, he's got a useful technique, and he's good at playing the political game. That's it, and almost all of it is replaceable. Gojo can butt heads with the higher ups all he wants and be fine, but Yaga will be shown the door if he makes too much noise.

When Gojo first brought Megumi home, he had never gone up against the higher ups before. Not really. He thought he did with Riko, but the point was moot by the time the higher ups even found out about it. He hadn't figured out just how to push and how far he could go. He relied on the help of the only adult he trusted, Yaga, and Yaga taught him to play the game the same way Yaga had to play it his entire life.

Except Gojo never had to play the game. It was pointless from the start. Which means his kid spent a long time getting abused for absolutely no benefit, on Yaga's recommendation, to pander to some assholes who were never going to play nice back.

Megumi set him on the path to his Absolutely No Compromising policy with the higher ups and the rest of the society. He taught him that these aren't rational people who are working for a common good--they're fucking crazy and they will hurt kids to satisfy their whims. Every single time that he dug his heels in about a student with the higher ups, he had the memory of what happened to Megumi when he didn't dig his heels in hanging over him.

And a big part of that was that he doesn't know if he could handle feeling a second time how he felt when he found out what was happening to Megumi behind his back. He had built up this idea in his mind about how he would make a better world for the next generation, that he wouldn't be like the higher ups slowly killing geto by sending him on mission after mission... and then he got the very first member of his next generation and slowly killed him sending him off to people who were hurting him. It was gojo making the drop offs and the pick ups and not goddamn seeing it for all his six eyes.

He almost killed the entire Zenin clan, honestly. Wiped them all out. He's always sort of struggled with homicidal thoughts and low empathy, and just fucking. slaughtering the zenin felt like a pretty good idea right then.

But he didn't want to be like the great sorcerers of old, who were madmen on a power trip killing everyone who made them angry. and he knew if the slaughtered an entire clan of sorcerers, he'd become that. he couldn't come back. so he took megumi away forever, and he promised him it would never happen again, and he tried to do it right every time after, and it has never, ever felt like enough.

Megumi as a kid was just very young and not clued into the dynamics of everything and in a terrible fucking situation that he couldn't get out of. His family thought he was acting out and getting upset because he didn't want to stay with the Zenin, he wanted to stay with his sister instead. And they were coming off the sorcerer equivalent of the cold war just getting this compromise. They thought this was all about Megumi wanting to stay with his sister, and this was the deal they brokered to keep him with his sister. The zenin wanted tsumiki gone from his life completely. they wanted full custody of him. This, staying with them with a few days a month, this was what let him stay with Tsumiki the rest of the time. It was the best deal they got.

Of course, Megumi didn't understand what was really happening. And he thought that Gojo, who knew everything, knew this too, especially because Megumi had told him (as best he knew how). He thought he had to shut up and take it with the abuse or he couldn't stay with Tsumiki anymore. So he shut up and took it, and he's never really come back from it.

In my mind, Megumi walked into canon with a sort of mindset that he just would never be as powerful or big as someone like gojo. He didn't know he had special grade potential. He didn't think he could win special grade fights. he didn't know how to put in his best. and a big part of that was because he hadn't gotten past who he was as a little boy, who had to shut up and let himself be hurt. The Zenin were the ones who taught him how to feel small and helpless and frustrated with that fact. He had so much practice being hurt that he couldn't imagine a world where he was too strong to not be hurt anymore.

Megumi and Gojo's relationship:

I actually think Megumi's surprise came more from his conviction that Gojo would intervene if he had known the truth of what the Zenin had spent the past week doing to him.

Like, your reading is the one that's most apparent from what Megumi said. It's absolutely the impression Gojo took from it. But megumi was very out of it when he was talking, and a lot of wires got crossed. it had a very different context in his head that he couldn't really express in the moment.

Megumi's consistently shown to be one of the most strategically minded characters in the show. He's great at assessing threats, figuring out techniques, and coming up with plans to beat the odds. He knows how to properly assess his risks and figure out how to stack the deck to give himself at least a shot.

And I think Megumi realized that he wasn't getting out of the Zenin compound alive a while ago. And a big part of that was because he knew from the start that he could not for a second rely on Gojo coming to get him.

It was just math. Megumi didn't have a way out on his own. He would need Gojo to come get him out. But Gojo was busy. If he wasn't busy, he would have found out already, somehow, and he would have already come to save him. The Zenin only managed this because Gojo had a war, and he was busy, and he'd be busy for weeks.

And Megumi did not have weeks.

It was a constant running calculation for him. At first, maybe he could make it through a few weeks. It would suck, sure. They'd beat the shit out of him, but it wouldn't be the first time. He'd be in terrible goddamn shape by the end of it all, but he'd survived the Zenin's abuse before, and he wasn't six years old anymore. He could make it until Gojo realized what had happened, and then he would come. Megumi was certain of it.

Then, they locked him in the room with curses for days. And he realized that he would be dead before Gojo's war finished.

Gojo wouldn't realize he was gone for weeks. And Megumi's estimates of his own survival quickly dropped from a few weeks to a week, to a few days, to a few hours.

Gojo would save him, if he knew, but Gojo was busy. He had a war. He wouldn't be there for weeks, and Megumi did not have weeks.

It sort of stuck in his brain? Gojo was busy. He didn't know that the Zenin were doing this to him. That's the only reason why he wouldn't come for megumi, and he was not going to find out in time. He wasn't coming, and Megumi was not going to die waiting to be saved by someone who was. not. coming. he had enough pride left for that at least.

Seeing Gojo in his hospital room broke the math for him. It just didn't compute. He was busy. He had a war. The Zenin could only do this to him because Gojo was busier than he had been in a decade, and he wouldn't be back until after the clock ran out for him. He was supposed to die before ever seeing Gojo again. So why the hell was Gojo standing above him? He was supposed to be busy.

#sea glass gardens

[patbwaifs]

i'm actually kinda tearing up. there's stuff i need to fix, sure, and i haven't even started on coloring but look at what i got to.

i've been lowkey irritated on how i was drawing the past few days. i went to Beavers Bend State Park today and just didn't let myself worry about anything else going on. When I came home I remembered that while semi-realistic anime styles (GitS 1995) and shojo (RGU) are a big influence for me, so are styles like what vewn draws in. (it's actually what the title "where did you put your grit" references. it's asking me, its not really a title about that connor drawing.)

I revisited the gouache brush from the first time i was messing around in CSP and things turned out a lot better. Part of the issue of anime-adjacent styles for me is the simplification in service of symmetrical beauty. (there might be a more academic way to put it idk) The nose is nearly invisible, there's a strong framework for faces and I don't have the familiarity and skill to modify it to show more diversity without "breaking the style"

But I want to be able to push how I draw characters. I need to be able to draw "ugly" that fits.

I don't know when's the next time I'll work on this animation loop since I really needed to gain enough mastery in CSP to work on some current projects but... i'm really happy with where this got me.

I'm happy.

#dbh fanart #dbh fan art #dbh gifs #animatic #animation #detroit: become human #rk800 connor #connor rk800 #art #art thoughts #digital art #csp #clip studio paint #illustration

[marathedemonoverlord]

Decided to do my take on the Demon Bros Facial Features and Demonic Forms. Now I've played games where Demons are malevolent villains and are enemies you hunt and kill so I don't really like the take demons are these beautiful flawless things so for my take on the Demon Bros I decided to make them as ugly as their sins.

What I like to imagine is the brothers appear at the age and physical features most attractive to MC/humans in their average humanoid forms but when they go into their Demon forms they show their more malignant side and appear as beautiful as ever until they got their victims in their grasp- Then they show their true demon/human mixed form and the kicker?

The kicker is this side is truly ugly but only humans can see it- To other Demons they look gorgeous still but humans can see their ugliness when they're in that form but by then it's too late the demons got them.

Idk if that makes sense it probably doesn't but I like the idea that the demons look hideous

Anyways to go over the bros;

• For Lucifer the idea that he has blackened Veins and visible age in his Demon form just makes sense; The once most beautiful angel has become decrepit and insidious to those who look upon him. Ugliness to reflect the blackness in his heart is a very suitable punishment from Father dont you think?

• Mammon's design I like to think his teeth become much more narrow and sharp because he'd do anything for shiny even if it means sinking them into hands that feed him- I also imagine that his Greed leaves him looking filthy because Greed makes you do the most dirty things.

• Leviathan's form is interesting because in a way he's probably the most beautiful of demons but he just can't see that- I dabbled with the idea that in his Demon form his mouth stretches and he gets gills because he has a more aquatic theme. He's probably always gasping for relief since jealousy can be suffocating

• Satan's was a fun design as a pure Demon I imagine his skin is more worn since anger is a toxic thing so he's just spewing acid outside of his Veins and fangs and virtually everywhere because he's just poison to those affected by him. I can see MC not being able to touch him in this form because he can melt skin and bones being too close (Headcanon; Satan's nuclear)

• So Asmodeus' is my favorite design but I can see that when he fell his face took the brunt of it; Broken jagged teeth cracked face lust crazed eyes Asmo probably had the hardest time with the Fall because his beauty is gone and now hes an ugly Demon HOWEVER he's still considered gorgeous by other demons so his constant preening and narcissism could be based on the fact that he's trying to fix his face to be what it used to be as an Angel and his obsession with his fans could be because they're as close as he'll ever get to being beloved for who he was before. I bet he'd be caught with a holy spear in his throat before showing MC his true face because they mean everything to him and it'd destroy him if they saw how ugly he truly is.

• Beelzebub's was difficult cause I lowkey wanted to put insect pieces on him but I think I'll save that for if ever I do a different design. So Beel is a natural tank so I imagine in his Demon form his scars appear more and his "pupils" vanish because in his Demon form he's not running on logic he's running on instinct so he looks more animalistic cause of it. I feel realistically he'd be more damaged since he's a big brother always taking the hits for others so he's probably battered all over.

• Belphegor's form is kind of lacking but honestly I can see Belphegor coming out okay while Beel and Asmo took the brunt of the fall and as such his markings aren't too bad- I will say tho that Belphegor probably has the most dangerous eyes as looking in them probably makes people paralyzed/fall unconscious because he just instantly makes their body stop/lazy so in his form he probably used that to paralyze then kill MC during Lesson 16 (Spoilers; he never apologizes you're welcome for that)

Anyways if anyone wants to add anything feel free to I feel like I may dabble with this more.

Who's your fave? :>

#obey me #obey me fanart #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer fanart #obey me mammon #obey me mammon fanart #obey me leviathan #obey me leviathan fanart #obey me satan #obey me satan fanart #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmodeus fanart #obey me beelzebub #obey me beelzebub fanart #obey me belphegor #obey me belphegor fanart #obey me 7 brothers #obey me 7 brothers fanart #obey me demon brothers #obey me demon brothers fanart #obey me demon concept #obey me demon forms concept

[jimothy-hopkins]

Meddling Kids VII

WARNING! This work/series contains mentions of slut shaming, EDs, gore, implied torture, implied SA, SH, violence, and many other things that can trigger some viewers. I will also mention that this work does NOT intend to glorify, romanticize, normalize, or promote ANY of these behaviors or ideas. That is not who I am and that is not what I stand for. Please do not take that message away when you read this.

This is a Manhunt/Bully crossover. So expect the usual non family friendly shenanigans.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Edward seethed through gritted teeth.

“Well, it’s not like we can be a couple of girl scouts, Edward.” Sighed Jimmy as he fixed his tie.

Dressing up as a Mormon wasn’t on Jimmy’s to-do list. But here he was, in a stupid ass button-down with some ugly dress slacks cut much too high, exposing his socks underneath. For god’s sake, Pete even made him polish the top of his head. Jimmy swore it was brighter than his future. He turned over to Gary, who held a bible in hand.

“Mormons don’t even read the bible, dumbass,” Jimmy told him.

“Well, I’m not going out buying a Book of Mormon on my dad’s credit card,” Gary shot back, abruptly shutting the heavy book.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, looking over to Pete, who was busy trimming up the sides of his hair to make it nice and neat.

“Remember when we got in trouble for opening that barber shop in the bathroom?” Jimmy reminisced.

“Yeah, I caught you red-handed. Giving Casey Harris a mullet.” Edward scoffed.

“Oh, yeah, that was fun,” Chuckling, Pete stepped back, “are you guys ready to go?”

The group collectively agreed to head out, but only through the back entrance while everyone was attending class to save the embarrassment. Jimmy learned that lesson the hard way when he’d worn a pair of booty shorts and got clowned by at least ten people walking out of gym class. Never again, he thought.

Their journey first started in small suburbia. Gary took the lead of knocking on the first door, a cheery smile plastered on his cheeks like a demented Ken doll.

“Oh, hello, how may I help you?” The homeowner asked as she peered out from her house.

“Hello, ma’am! I’m here to offer you a few suggestions. We’ve heard that the community in Bullworth is tainted with sin and violence, and we’d like to change that!” Gary greeted.

She nodded along, Gary continuing his act.

“Here, I’d like to introduce you to some of my friends,” he nodded, “this young man here used to be violent. He enjoyed disrespecting his parents and playing vile video games. But by the power of God and restoration of his faith, he is now a perfect, well-rounded citizen!” Gary gloated as he pushed Pete forwards

Pete waved, a sheepish grin on his face.

“And these two young men used to suffer from homosexual thoughts and tendencies. But now they are picture-perfect real men!” Gary expressed with open arms.

Jimmy clenched his jaw, his fists in a tight white-knuckle grasp.

“Oh, dear, that is very good. But I don’t have any children. I’m quite fine.” The woman laughed before she closed the door.

A sigh left Gary as he turned, walking off the porch.

As soon as Gary came within range, Jimmy reeled his hand back and landed it hard on the back of the taller’s neck.

“OW! Watch it, Hopkins!”

“Take your advice,” Jimmy grumbled.

They continued their journey through the vast neighborhood of Bullworth. The dress shoes began to cause Jimmy pain. His toes had become bruised from continuously trekking around in dress shoes. Everyone else seemed equally as miserable, Gary growing more agitated as they passed home after home. Pete did his best to observe the interiors of the houses as lowkey as possible. Edward did his best to hide back in shame of their current situation, while Jimmy himself just stood and nodded like a daisy in the wind.

Everything was boring until Gary had the balls to approach a home with a very large ‘NO SOLICITING’ sign.

“Fuck does soliciting mean?” Jimmy turned his head to the side.

“I don’t know. Let’s find out,” Gary smirked as he pounded on the door.

The man who opened the door didn’t even give Gary a chance to speak before he started to scream.

Pete was the first to book it, then came Ed, and after followed Jimmy and Gary. Their shoes pounded against the sidewalk, almost racing like ill-bodied thoroughbreds at the Kentucky Derby. Fire crawled into Jimmy’s lungs and throat, forcing him to slow down. Not long after, Edward completely halted into a fit of asthmatic breathing and coughs. The other two joined them to catch their breath as well.

“Son of a bitch...” Edward wheezed after administering his inhaler.

“Watch your fucking language. We’re Mormons now..” Gary huffed humorously.

“Shut up..” The prefect grumbled, lifting his head.

After a short recovery, they aimlessly wandered New Coventry, shivering from the cold weather. How did missionaries do this all day? Jimmy sort of had a newfound respect for those morons. This shit was unbearable, especially in the winter weather of Bullworth, New York.

Instead of a new neighborhood, something else caught the group’s attention.

“Fuck you, Davis!” A sharp female voice yelled.

“Oh really? So that’s what you’re gonna say to me now? You can’t even give me a good reason!” A male tone bellowed.

The quartet crept closer to where the screaming match was. Peering into an alleyway, Silena Mariani and Davis White were busy biting each other’s heads off for what was probably the fifth time that day.

“I can’t sit here and listen to you talk shit bout my friends Davis! Those guys are like my family!” Silena defended.

“Family? Are you kidding me, Silena? Those guys are nothing but trouble!” Davis argued with his arms thrown in the air.

“Oh, like you’re a saint! You’re just as bad as them! I see the way you treat those freshmen, you dipshit!”

“And do you do anything about it? No! No, you fucking don’t!” Davis screamed, getting in the girl’s face.

“Get outta my face!’ she’d scream, stepping forward to make Davis step back.

“Then get outta the clique Silena!”

“No! They’re good people! They’re good friends!”

“Good people don’t go to jail Silena!’ Davis screamed over her.

The girl fell silent before she lunged and snatched her boyfriend by the throat in a rage.

Jimmy and Edward quickly ran out from where they hid, prying the couple away from each other.

“Woah! Chill out! Chill out!’ Jimmy demanded, dragging Silena a few feet away from Davis and Edward.

“You take it back!” Silena screamed, hitting Jimmy as he restrained her.

“What is this even about?” Edward asked.

‘What’s this about? Oh, I’ll tell ya! Her deadbeat side piece Johnny got arrested!” Davis yelled.

“He is NOT-” Silena started.

“Wait, Johnny got arrested?” Jimmy asked.

“Yeah, last night.” Davis nodded.

“Do you know why?”

“Pft, I couldn’t care less. Why don’t you ask Peanut? I’m sure he knows all about it.” Davis droned, wrestling out of Edward’s grasp and walking off.

Well, at least they knew who to look for.

Jimmy let Silena go, walking over to the other two who had spectated the altercation.

“That was intense,” Pete stated, following Jimmy as he went on a mentally mapped route.

“You tell me, she throttled him like a ragdoll,” Gary laughed wickedly.

“How are abusive relationships funny to you?” Edward asked.

“How is doing coke and throwing up all you eat good for your health” Gary retorted.

Edward didn't say anything else after that.

After tons more walking, they were where they needed to be, the tenements. And, of course, lo and behind, Peanut Romano was outside bawling his little eyes out. As Jimmy approached, he noticed just how messy the greaser looked. His hair was stringy and dry, his shoes were scuffed, and his jacket carelessly sat on his shoulders. Jimmy had never seen any of the greasers in such a state. Well, besides Ricky when he was howling over his ex-girlfriend.

“Oh, what do you want, Jimmy?..” Wailed Peanut as he lifted his head to reveal a red, puffy face.

“Look, I’m not here to laugh at you. I just wanna know, did Johnny get arrested last night?” The ginger asked.

“Yes!” The greaser sobbed out.

“Woah, hey, it’s alright. Do you know what happened?”

“N-no, I don’t. All I knew was that Johnny and Norton were goin’ out to get us all some dinner for the night, and Lola got a call late last night from the county jail.” He explained through sniffles and pitiful cries.

“Alright, hey Edward?’ Jimmy turned his head.

“Yes?’ The prefect answered.

“Can you go talk to Lola for me?”

Edward nodded, stepping away to go down to the Vale. It wasn’t a secret that Lola and Pinky were seeing one another, for him at least. It was like a clear shower curtain almost. Edward could tell when two people had some serious chemistry. The perk of being in way too many relationships and flirtationships.

He shivered and sighed. A car or a jacket would be a lifesaver against this harsh and brutal weather. This whole missionary idea was humiliating and stupid. No wonder those boys were called the Trouble Trio. That’s all they seemed to get into lately. These little adventures wouldn’t have a good outcome in the future if anything could stain his permanent record.

With a polite knock at the Gauthier estate, Edward was allowed inside.

The tall male trailed up the stairs, politely stopping at a pink door.

“Pinky, Lola. I know you’re there. We need to talk.” Edward said.

Footsteps shuffled behind the door, and Pinky herself opened it. Lola was seated on the large, ornately decorated bed in the center of the room.

“It’s about Johnny,”

“Oh, you heard?” The redhead perked up.

“Yes. What happened?”

“Well, Johnny said he was going out to get some pizza with Norton. And when they were making their way back, a bunch of psychos jumped them. When the cops rolled by, the crackheads dipped. And they got arrested instead.” Lola explained while she painted her nails.

“Ok, thank you, That’s all I needed to know. Have a nice day.” Edward nodded, exiting the doorway and going down the hall to a landline.

He quickly dialed Jimmy’s number, and within two rings, he picked up.

“Pinky?”

“No, it’s me, Edward.”

“What are you doing over there?”

“I know things.”

“Ok? Well, did you get anything?”

“Yeah, they were getting food down by that pizza parlor. You may want to check that out,” Edward suggested.

“Noted, cya.”

“Bye.”

Edward hung up, sighing as he started to travel back on foot.

Nothing came of the pizza parlor search, which disappointed the group. Had they all run around looking like a bunch of Mormons in tit-freezing weather for nothing?

Well, sort of.

Pete had come up with the idea to ask Max, as he would know about arrests. The guy was obsessed with law and order. Although, this idea was once again much to Edward’s dismay. The former prep whined as they again walked to where they could find Max, where he stood guard near the gymnasium.

“Max!” Pete called.

The brunette snapped his head over and immediately marched in their direction. Ed bit his tongue as the other prefect came to a robotic halt.

“Yes sir?”

“We need your help. Do you know anything about how Johnny and Norton got arrested?”

“Negative, sir.” Max lied. Edward could tell.

It pissed him off.

“Quit lying, MacTavish.” Edward seethed.

“Excuse me?” Max turned.

“You’re lying right to his face. I can see it!”

“I’m not lying! I have no reason to lie!”

“Oh really? Cause every time something doesn't add up you always bite your lip.”

“What are you on? Drugs?! You know you can go around accusing anyone all day, but it’s never going to change the fact that you’re a manwhore.” Max sneered.

“Again, with the slut-shaming! You can barely talk, Max! When was the last time you had a girlfriend? Oh, right, never. Because you’re always someone’s little bitch waiting to take orders!” Edward snapped.

“Fuck off!”

“Gladly!”

The trio sat, blinking as both prefects stormed off.

Back to the drawing board.” Gary sighed.

#bully scholarship edition #bully canis canem edit #bully anniversary edition #bully rockstar #canis canem edit #bully cce #bullworth academy #gary smith #jimmy hopkins #jimmy bully cce #gary smith cce #pete kowalski #edward seymour ii #pinky gauthier #peanut romano #lola lombardi #johnny vincent #norton williams #meddling kids

[papirouge]

the jpop anon... again 😳

yeah, its pretty obvious that kpop groups do get super prepared and photoshopped to hell in promotional pictures. thats why when you look up their photos from like, award shows or other live events like that, sometimes they may look a lil different. like again, i mentioned snsd, their legs look super skinny in promotional material and videos, but in photos of live events, some girls legs for example look bigger. theyre still thin ofc, just not stick thin.

and like you mentioned, jpop idols arent expected to be perfect or have a flawless look. many times, part of the appeal of a japanese idol is watching her grow and get better and more profesional, which i think its one of the reasons kpop is ages more popular than jpop; many times ive heard o read people say how impressed they are with the complex choreographies of korean groups, something that jpop idols rarely perform. kpop idols debut when they already have achieved some good "performance level" for a lack of better terms.

you know, i dont think every idol company does this, but i always though it was super cool how helloproject actually forbid their idols from having plastic surgery. thats why many of them look so different from another, and i think its awesome theyre not pressured to change their appearances to fit some modernr beauty standard. also apparently they cannot wear braces, i think its because it can affect your singing ability, though it may just be an aesthetic thing, and those inside braces can actually damage your tongue which is not what a singer would want. like you know how airi suzuki has a tooth thats a little behind the others and she has never "fixed" it? i just mention this because i have that literal exact same tooth in the same place. in fact, we have the same smile, which i think is sorta cool.

oh, and i never could get into akb48. i dont know why, they just never caught my eye. the only songs i tried to listen to were heavy rotation and koisuru fortune cookie since theyre so popular and i just wasnt a fan (also wtf with the heavy rotation MV?).

i also cant find those stray kids attractive. same goes for bts. and yeah, i also though they looked like AI xD. i just thought it was a little mean to say. and i never got why bts got so popular, though to be fair the only songs ive ever heard from the were those english ones like dynamite and butter (i think that what its called). theyre just... not that amazing what can i say,..

i liked berryz koubou. they always stood out when you watched them due to having such an interesting assortment of girls: you had two big girls with risako and maasa, the super tall yurina, the very short momoko and captain, chinami who was very skinny and had a darker complexion than the rest, and you also had risako constantly changing her hair color and miyabi dying her hair blonde or orange and wearing light color lenses. i always though goofy berryz (like in yuke yuke monkey dance) or serious berryz (like jiriri kiteru or ai wa itsumo kimi no naka ni) were the best berryz. it was so weird when they tried to shove them into sexy roles like in want! or ai no dangan, the girls look so awkward. and you cannot expect me to find momoko sexy when in concerts she would perform those sexy songs with those wretched pigtails of her...

I think that's something you addressed in your ealier posts, but I lowkey disagree with the fact that ugly people are fated to remain the 'ugly one' in the band even after ps because there are legit extremely good surgeons doing wonders. You can make drastic changes to a face and still have compelling results

Look at AngelaBaby who's the blueprint for every east Asian girl seeking to achieve the eurasian look

They look like 2 different person, but right still looks like what a natural very pretty Eurasian woman would look

The problem is going overboard with plastic surgery, which is why she ended messing up with her unecessary chin implant that makes her look botched. She should've stopped in 2009.

Kpop idols simply look botched bc they are cheap surgeons ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Japan is indeed less heavy with plastic surgery but idols, even underage, undergo plastic surgery xD they are just more lowkey and hypocrite about imo (that's the only redeeming thing with the Kpop industry imo ; they're pretty straightforward in their heavy course of beautification so people don't get gaslighted in thinking those people were born like this)

Look at Sayumi Michishige and Reina Tanaka who respectively got their eyelid and eyelid+nose done

Japan will accept crooked teeth, but not monolid lmaooo

And it was already the case with OG Momusu

Tsuji Nozomi waited to graduate to do eyelid surgery though - it's lowkey hilarious how both she and her husband got the same procedure on the same time(?)😭

And yeah I see what you mean with teeth thing of airi Suzuki. Naoki Umeda had the same feature and it made him super cute. I will forever miss UmeTsuba 😭😭

That being said, while it's true that those imperfections will fly because idolship is all about seeing little girls grow into womanhood, it's pretty significant to see how quick former idols switch into conventional beauty after graduating. Japan is extremely ageist with women, and things young girls have been elevated for, will be helf against them past a certain age.

There's something dread9ful with the Heavy Rotation MV.... "Mystery Night" (by Angerme (formerly S/Mileage)) lyrics are pretty awful too. All of them were underage, singing about hitting up with a rando during a party...

Koisuru Fortune Cookie was AKB48 peak. I never got into their music but the MV was great - it's pretty rare to have idol MV with that much work done (I think Heavy Rotation MV, as disgusting it was, very polished - isn't its artistic director the same woman who directed Helter Skelter?)

Berryz Kobo went off out of nowhere for "Ai wa Itsumo Kimi no Naka ni" lol I like when idols do assertive songs. That's why I also loved "Otome no Gyakushuu" by Angerme ("Counterattack of the maiden"). But imo nothing will ever top the aesthetic of Momoiro Clover Z for "Birth Ø Birth" - absolutely iconic

#honorable mention for Morning Musume 'Ai no Gundan' because the outfits were absolutely cute #answered

[pleadingforattention]

Since the Given dub came out recently, I'm going to post my thoughts from when I watched the sub for the first time (this was about April 2020):

As a warning, there will be minimal consistency when I refer to characters as it took me nearly the entire anime to remember their names. My comments are also very vague... Have fun :p

1.

The dog.. adorable

Oh it's sub. Okay I can vibe with this

Oh boo you look so sad

"I'm not lonely" who are you kidding. Lowkey what a mood tho

~DePrEsSiOn NaPs~

This dude really just be sleeping on the school stairs, huh?

Of course he knows how to fix the guitar

Kageyama and Hinata look great together

Bitch you sacrificed your own nap time to help this bitch

Oh my god! TSuki

Blond Asahi too!!

Of course the one with piercings is the drummer

What a great sibling relationship depicted here

Ginger Boy be depresso

'Where's he sneaking off to?' 'Somewhere gay probably'

He just looks scary.

So he's just in the band now?

BING

The silent conversations between Kaji and Ponytail are great

Ooo THIS IS PRETTY (and so are they tbh)

Yama really be holding this entire relationship (?) together huh

Boy get back to practice

Ue really said gay confusion

His fingers are bandaged 🥺

Sato really went "It was perfect but,, it didn't have you"

2.

Episode 2 really be breaking out the L word

Sato really said "am babey"

These boys have no right being this pretty

SOMEONE JUST HUGGED SATO IN THE OPENING PRECIOUS

((my friend just laughed when I told her. I'm scared))

Sato is literally just the audience. No idea what's going, wants to learn an instrument now, in love with Eunoyama

Friend 1: skipping basketball again? Friend 2: *points to Sato, smiling* Friend 1: alright then

Further confirming Sato is me: doesn't know anyone's name

This boy really is clueless.

NO. Kaji, you get back here and say what's on your mind 😠

Haru that's adorable. Great job, sweetie

Euno has gay confusion/rage. Haru has gay panic

*casual ripped Kaji*

Motorcyclist, fancy waiter, AND security guard?? Whoever he ends up with is one lucky dude

SATO seems unapproachable? That CHILD? That precious bean??

I'm sensing Yama's picking up on the angst I shouldn't know about yet 👀

OH NO HE FROWN :(

*gay glitter floats while singing*

oh my he cry :'(

3.

This whole "I'm not lonely" thing is going to be a trope isn't it? I'm going to end up crying because of it, aren't I?

Oh we starting sad huh? Okay, FINE.

Oo, Haru jealous

I love that they know he's in love before he does

The audacity Sato possesses sometimes

OH SHIT KAJI DUMPED YAYOI

Yama is too precious with his WikiHow article

Yama has fallen hard

Sweater Haru? Absolutely. Plain button up Kaji? Maybe not...

Kenma's here too!

Trauma! Trauma! Trauma!

Oh god no the phone call

(Theory: the poor boy has cried so much he can't anymore)

When people tell you you look like you aren't thinking about anything and they're right but it's only to stop the tears haha am I right guys

Gay rage. That's it.

I'm sorry. A capella singing is not for me. He's beautiful but this is so cringey

He's trying so hard, aw

4.

Yama's writing a love sooonnngg

~And he can only be awakened by true love shouting his name across the entire room

Sato's smug ass smirk. Yama's whipped folks

I've never seen so many cinnamon rolls act so threatening before

Yama looks into the frickin camera my lord

Haru's ugly shoes match his guitar case 🙄

Yama just wants to see his baby happy

His contact photo for Sato is his pupper 🥺

Sato really is clueless. He must be protected

Oh chickie's friend about to spill some tea

5.

Haru has amazing hair. Good for him :)

This is the first time I saw the lyrics for the opening. Nooo

Bro that's gay

Haru I feel omg awww

Oop flashback 👀

Saaaaammme Haru. Kaji be fine as hell

I'm waiting for something bad to happen to Kaji. Or some sort of shoe to drop. This is all going too well

Oh no 2 mugs

Oh NO a brunette

Yama is always asleep

Haru is definitely getting drunk on purpose

Drunk actions are sober thoughts

"MEH. TOO MUCH WORK."

Haru got cock blocked by alcohol being alcohol lol

*Cue cute montage of band bonding

(They're always showing airplanes in the sky. Is this some sort of symbolism?)

THIS MF BITCH JUST OUTED HIM. HOW RUDE 🤬

I didn't know it was his bf 😥 I thought it was his brother

Don't get involved with him. Ya couldn't have told him that before he fell head over heels for his oblivious ass ??

6.

Oh no, him.

Akaashi is here now too

Kaji really said Sato's the soft uwu to their hard core owo

~That's called love bromo~

Oh biTCH HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL

Haru doesn't even know the storm he just released by saying 'relationship'

Sato just accidentally got dark very quickly.

That dog is so fine being left all alone. Suspicious.

We walking down memory lane

I'm getting real sad on memory lane and nothing's happened yet.

"I'm not lonely" but this time it hits different; it's like he actually believes it this time

Cud-dle! Cud-dle! Cud-dle!

Yama casually dies

Gee, I wonder what his lyrics could be 🤔 ? Totally not the credits or whatever. Absolutely not

(I took a break bc I was tired and it was 2am)

7.

Oo yes the Kaji background I've been waiting for

Haru really is like Asahi, precious

They sure do love their vending machine beverages.

One hit K.O.

Yama asking Kaji, who is openly bi, if there's something wrong with him for liking a guy is too precious

Is Sato falling more in love or is his heart breaking? I can't tell at this point

*awkward cartoon accordion music plays*

Just when I think we're never going to get back to Kaji, here we go

Ngl Mysterious Brunet is kinda cute. Good for Kaji

When you need a hug so bad and someone finally gives you one

8.

Sato's little sweater tucked into his jeans aww

We haven't actually seen Yuki yet, have we?

I cannot tell if Kaji's home life is flashbacks or real. I am confused and intrigued

They've ramped up the number of slow, dramatic montages. Stuff's getting serious

This is awkward...

YES SATO!! FEEL YOUR FEELS

Why does Kashima need to be forgiven? What did he know??

No Sato!! 😢 (no wonder he said he didn't have a dad)

A whole ass episode. Give me the damn performances!!!

9.

This episode better be amazing or gay I stg

Haru really came in here being like 'Broken strings happen all the time? Fix it and let's move on. C'mon guys'

I'm waiting for Sato to just bust out some spectacular vocals from nowhere and everyone will be Shook™ (especially Yama)

(When replacing guitar strings, do you have to replace them all at the same time? That seems wasteful but I understand why one would)

Sato is so soft but he is so b r o a d

YES. BE SHOOK

Kaji's little smile of approval :')

No I did not have to pause to restrain from crying. What? Who would do that? Certainly not me 😳

*finishes singing a song about his dead bf* *immediately gets kissed but new love interest*

"I'm not lonely"

So our precious little cinnamon roll isn't so innocent after all

10.

Oh she having a breakdown fellas. She cutting her haiiirrrr

Rewind??

He did a damn rewind for his own life! Aha

At least she had someone's hand to hold. He was up there all alone

Music video! Music video!

Sure you will. Just leave after stopping in. Totally won't stay any longer

JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES

Yama said 'I may not have been your first but would you mind me being your last?'

Oh my god this was the first time he felt like he was allowed to talk. Without being hurt. Or reprimanded. Or any consequences. I need to give this poor boy a hug 😭

Sato being so blunt is perfect ("my dead boyfriend's mom..." so casually)

Kaji is such a Dad I love him

Oop is Kenma gay for Akaashi ? 👀 (or vice versa. Probably more vice versa)

Not a fan of Mysterious Brunet -_-

Yama's a simp

Yama is WHIPPED by this boy

Sato may be quiet but he certainly knows what he wants

Oh shit the L word already?

11.

Yama kissed him and he's shocked that he likes him back?

This whole 'internal dialogue' thing is great

Haru and Kaji: dating within the band is a big no-no, huh Yama: oh no but I <3 Sato Haru and Kaji, also: sexual tension whomst?

Everyone babies Sato

The winter coats are so extra

They are not a serious band. Of course that was a bad idea.

Does his stylist friend,, not know??

Give me your hand. It's dangerous.

Haru . Wants a, girlfriend? Oh? (Boys are a pain tho, I feel)

I want more?? How did Yuki die? Is Kaji dating Brunet or is he really just a roommate? Can Haru and Kaji just get together already??

~~

Congrats on making it to the end of this mess! Remember how I said I couldn't remember any of their names? This was the key I used while I was watching:

{Sato-ginger, Eunoyama-Tobio, Kaji-piercings, Haruki-ponytail, Yayoi-sister}

Needless to say I've learned a lot about this show since I wrote this. I'm excited to see how the dub turned out!

#given #haruki given #mafuyu given #akihiko given #given sub #given dub #commentary #anime #pandemic watch party #i only started watching anime like 8 months before this #i think that's crazy #sorry for all the haikyuu references #the resemblances are uncanny #want me to do another? #probably not #that's okay

[serowebs]

SOOOOOOOO Funny dragon game event

I'm gonna be rambling my ass off over the valentines event so far so bare with me-

the Valentines day event in dragon adventures has been going on for like about a week now and not gonna lie this event lowkey sucks ass harder than the one wierd space event did in my very personal opinion

The whole gimmic of it is that your dragons will be craving specific kinds of Pralines, said pralines you can get from like 2 minigames wich are kinda e h [a maze and just a simple time trial game] they're ok but a bit boring imo and you can get pralines from random mushrooms that grow on the funny little valentines island but that doesn't really give you much OH and you can buy pralines from a praline package in the shop for 5k, only one box per day tho

when you feed these chocolates to your dragons they will give you hearts and those hearts are the main currency of this event wich you can buy eggs and potions with [aswell as accessories and building thingies and those somehow are more interresting than the pots you can buy atleast for me-]

I barely had been doing any grinding for the event, I wanted to save for a love potion sure and mayybeeee also a sugar element potion but those prices man- I am too lazy to grind for them to be honest and both dragons for this event I already bought far prior to this event so what's really the point

also the whole first week they didn't have the fayrah out yet so we only had the tarrotta wich I already have one of but decided to hatch another one anyway becuase 10% sounds like a reasonable chance-

These are my tarottas, first one being Macchiato wich I bought prior to this event

and then we have Plum Yoghurt whom I hatched from this event who was lowkey quite ugly at first and I wanted to fix the colours a bit before selling them off cuz thas what I planned originally but after colour shuffling around a bit i got this

and lowkey they pretty so I am keeping them

so some time passes and today the Announced and hyped for Fayrah remodel happened and I instantly went to go check on my fay to see how it looks on them becuase I was afraid they would end up looking like shit because of the remodel

and ngl they slaying it lowkey- am happy how they look :]

this is what fayrahs looked like before the remodel [I cannot really find any pictures of abro for some reason so I am just gonna snatch one off the wiki]

so ye cool remodel and all but it also this week became hatchable in the event egg so I went to see what the chances for the fay are, surely can't be that low because both fay and tarotta are quite common-

o h

#sero's rambles #sorry if this ramble is disorganized and barely readable #I barely focus on shit while making these #I can't focus for shit lMFAO- #ever

[lapata-lupt]

it's a couple thoughts

- my text annoyed him and he knew I was just looking for attention rather than anything i shouldn't have texted him

- papa scolded me for being on phone and and feel angry bc while m on my phone all the time he never sees me on phone the 1 time he does he gets mad and idk what to think

- my pictures look ugly

- this family friend from uni is coming over

- m bothered by the replies on my insta poll on many levels 1 a lot of people ignored me which is ofc how it is 2 I cant accept that the childhood oomf swiftie m jealous of who went to study in the UK has anxious style 3 a couple people from my school in india responded and idk why I am so narcissistic I camt accept they have personality 4 someone replied to my story with wtf is this and m scared I did something wrong 5 a lot of them say they are disorganized and for my diagnonsense 2 of my friends said disorganized too but m not traumatized so idk what what think of that 6 straight friend from uni is give therapy to also replied and for soem reason it bothers me too that she has personality as well I think m just upset when I see that people who are not queer or nerdy like me have emotions as well and it's so stupid it might be also bc it makes me feel threatenerd cause it proves that people ahve same issues as me but they handle it much better than me and before anyone says u don't know how well they handle it I know they aren't failing school ok fuck off

- I can't stop thinking about abed and his rep on many levels

- I haven't done any of my work I ahve a shit ton of missing assignments and I have a written test on tuesday that I need to be prepared for or i fail again and unlike assignments i can't avoid it

- I have even begun my assignments and they are so big they were supposed to be done over weeks idk how to catch up i lowkey wanna go to the counselor like my professor suggested but m scared my parents will find out and get mad

- idk how to help my brother m not a good sister idk how to talk to him I just get mad and give him silent treatment and that traumatized him more idk how to fucking talk to him and he doesn't accept the kind of care I try try give him if I talk to him he takes it the wrong way and gets mad idk what to do idk how to stop my parents from giving him issues

- I really should have moved out m gonna miss out on all my life experiences rather just repeat the life I already lived past 3 years or a worse version of it there won't be any growth and m I should have moved out idk how to fix it and I don't even like this course I don't wanna do international relations and get into some elitist capitalist shit cooperation that fakes being a humanitarian organization under the guise of diplomacy I wanna get into soem real shit I wanna help people I am not capable of it tho so idk why m even whining it's not like of I had a chance I would use it I have a chance and am throwing it down the drain

- I miss her

my heart just started sinking more idk wtf to do