#this is part of my slow transition back into analyzing

[lavishlyleo]

Astrology Observations 5

One thing I've noticed with Gemini Moons is that while they do love to talk to people and share their thoughts, if they aren't interested in the conversation's topic or if you stay on one topic for too long, they tend to zone out. If they aren't very invested in the convo at hand it will be VERY noticeable (e.g. blank stares, they suddenly go very quiet, dry repetitive responses, checking their phone frequently).

The same can be said for individuals with a lot of Air in their charts in general, especially Gemini and Libra. It can be hard to keep these individuals attention for prolonged periods of time. They like to cut to the interesting part so keep what you have to say very brief and to the point.

Not something Leo Moons are known for, but that I've noticed is that they can be really good at analyzing peoples behavior. Like, they'll see how someone acts and can make connections to their own behavior to understand some elses emotions and feelings. It's how many Leo Moons relate to people, bonus points if their Moon is in a water house!

In your Natal chart, if your ruling planet 's transit is in opposition or square with your natal ruling planet's sign, it can indicate a period of bad luck and hardship. It may feel like the world is against you at the moment, especially if said aspect is in a less than 5° orb. Not a great transit aspect to have.

For example, My ruling planet is Jupiter (Sag Rising) and it's in Scorpio at 9°. IRONICALLY ENOUGH, in my Solar Return chart for this year, Jupiter is in Taurus at 9°. So I'm expecting a lot to happen this year. Later on this year I'll make an update on this aspect.

If you have Scorpio or Pisces in your SR top 3 this year, don't take this lightly!! Like I said in my last post with manifestations, this will be a year that your manifestation power is at an all time high! You may literally speak things into existence, for better or for worse.

On the topic of Scorpio/Pisces SR top three, my advice for this (and I'm speaking from experience) is try to think about things you want to happen, not things you don't want or like. For example, if you think about how much you don't like a certain person, later on down the line you may find yourself suddenly coming back in contact with that person a lot more, when either you wanted to or not.

People with Cancer personal placements, I'd advise you to frequently check the Moon's transit and positions! Whenever it's the full or new moon, keep tabs on what happens those days and how you feel. Let me know in the comments anything interesting that's happened to yall during those times!

I've said this once and I'll say it again, Scorpio Mars are some of the most PERSISTENT people I've ever seen. When it comes to their desires, NOTHING stands in their way. However this can be detrimental if it's bad habits like drinking, smoking, stealing, ect. One way or another they will get what they want, even if it costs them everything. These people can truly be the victim of their own desires. Honorary mention- Taurus and Leo Mars.

Listen, if you ever need someone to promote your music, call an Aquarius Venus/Dominant person. I swear to god these people listen to the most obscure, outta pocket things I've ever heard.

Taurus 6th/5th housers tend to be those people at work that live by the slow and steady motto. They don't like to rush and do a sloppy job on whatever their working on.

On the other hand, Aries 6th/5th housers may be very fast workers, and it usually works well for them, works well under pressure. not the most thorough people but for the most part they get the job done.

People with a lot of Gemini and Leo placements in their chart tend to give off Aries energy.

Capricorn and Scorpio relationships are literally ride or die. I know a couple with many of these placements and they are so possessive of each other. Even after heated arguments and many hardships, they always come back together and work out their issues, it's really sweet!

When in an awkward situation, Libra Risings tend to try and break the tension first. Sometimes they can make the situation more awkward doing this but they're always the ones to bring the vibes back to the way they were, so I appreciate it. Gemini Risings may also do this but can be slightly more unhinged in their methods. I love both regardless for it😭💕.

The reason puberty for all of us hits hard is because it's around this time that Saturn is usually in the sign opposite from our Saturn sign. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it, itcchanges a lot of what we focus on and introduces us to new struggles. Although with Saturn retrograde, the age of which these changes can affect us can range from 13 all the way up to 25. Saturn is trying to toughen us up before we become adults.

What your Rising Sign's season is may be the season/months you prefer. For example, I'm a Sagittarius Rising and I tend to like late fall/early winter.

Your Moon sign can show how you process not just your emotions, but how you handle other peoples emotions, and how you relate to them. For example, a Leo Moon may relate to others by thinking of themselves in someone elses shoes, and how they would handle situations. While a Gemini Moon may relate other peoples emotions with stories from others that they've heard, and use what they've observed from other people to help others.

Venus PC Moon can also show this, I'd look at both sign's relationship to see the full picture of how one truly processes theirs and others emotions.

Moon/Pluto Aspects in someone's chart can show a relationship where however the mother treats the native, is how the native will end up treating her as they get older. For example, if the mother was negligent to the native in their younger years, then as they get older they will have a detached and impersonal attitude towards her. Basically the natives mirror how they were nurtured in youth.

"She say do you love me, I tell her only partly. I only love my bed and my mama I'm sorry." -Drake, a Cancer Moon.

People who say Gemini/Libra placements are indecisive have CLEARLY never met someone with many personal fire placements, especially if it's their top 3. Fire sign energy is naturally high and can be all over the place sometimes, this can include their thoughts and decision making as well, mostly concerning the direction of their passions and work. They may have a million ideas of what they're about to do but have trouble slowing down and planning it all out into managable chunks at a time. Will fight for what they want but may have trouble picking their battles wisely.

HEY HEY, new post! I actually had this one in the drafts for awhile! I just got around to posting it now! I haven't been on at all lately because I'm having trouble finding what else to post about. Sooo I'm thinking of doing a little zodiac game soon since I want to practice my art more :] .

More Nitro Nexus art!! I'm not sure when I'll be officially starting my Anthro's Anthem series with him but if I'm being honest I probably won't be releasing the first official chapter until like 2025-2026. I have a lot planned for it but I don't know when I'll get around to it. Only time will tell!

#astrology observations #astrovations #astro community #astrology #astro notes #moon astrology #venus astrology #8th house #mars astrology #rising signs #moon signs #ascendant #aspects #astro placements #astro observations #nitro nexus #astrology notes #lavishly leo #ibispaintx #reference sheet #persona #oc art #original character #oc sona #anthros anthem #dragon ball #dragon ball super #god of destruction #dbz oc #au

[piscesseer]

Jupiter Retrograde in Taurus ✨

Jupiter will be in Retrograde from September 4 through December 30. This is a time to question all that we already know and develop a new perspective on our beliefs, goals and see how they align.

Retrogrades offer the opportunity to slow down and take a look at different parts of our life. They provide an opportunity to fine-tune things. Sometimes, they can cause problems, but as long as we stay open to changes and prepare for interruptions, we will be just fine.

Jupiter Retrograde happens once a year, making the Retrograde through Taurus happen every 12 years. When Jupiter is in Retrograde, its expansion and abundant energy turns inward, prompting us to revisit our values and goals. Taurus focuses on the tangible aspects of life, and when Jupiter is in Taurus, this Retrograde asks us to reassess our relationship with wealth, possession and our sense of security.

The planet of luck and expansion going Retrograde can make us feel as if our luck has run out, or that we’re not getting the opportunities we deserve. This could be reflective of an area in our life where we feel like we haven’t been making progress. Looking at our dreams and goals can help us to navigate why we are feeling this way. Do our goals align with our values?

Jupiter Retrograding in Taurus encourages us to dig deep. We are invited to look at our self worth and our beliefs. Are we living in alignment with our personal core beliefs and principals? We are offered the chance to make adjustments to our true values.

We can look at our behavior and the way that we act on a daily basis. We can analyze our attitude to morals. Rethink the patterns we are following and establish the proper balance.

Don’t hesitate to return to religious and spiritual texts. We can always rediscover things we have already been over in a new light. Any phase that introduces doubt can lead to spiritual analysis. We can be open to an inner journey of self-realization. Desires and curiosity might grow. Embark on a higher quest for knowledge.

Don’t feel like all hope is lost. This transit is short when we look at the bigger picture and it can shed light on the things that are not working. Introspection can help us to release fears and limitations that might be stunting our spiritual growth. Releasing these things can help to pave the way for an authentic inner expansion and awareness, bringing a deeper connection to the universe.

This will be a positive time for finances. Don’t hesitate to take advantage of opportunities when they appear. Rethink financial strategies. Recognizing areas of excess or extravagance can help. We could need to slow down in specific endeavors if they’ve been moving too quickly. Some enthusiasms could slow as certain realities of time and energy set in. Consider if those material pursuits are genuinely fulfilling.

The energy of Jupiter Retrograde in Taurus can coincide with economic fluctuations on a global scale. Be prepared, as we are already living in a time with high inflation. Be aware of where your own money is going. Remember that small treats can add up, but could also be necessary to make life a little more pleasant! Find balance there.

Taurus energy encourages patience and determination. This Retrograde can help us to cultivate these qualities, and teach us that lasting growth and abundance requires time and persistence. 

Jupiter Retrograde is a time of great potential. Use it wisely! This cosmic event will ask us to dive deep on our beliefs and relationship to the material world. Embracing the energy of this transit will lead to personal transformations and lead us toward alignment with our truest values and aspirations.

Journal Prompts and Reflections for Jupiter Retrograde in Taurus:

What are my core values and how have they evolved over time?

Are there any beliefs or values that are holding you back from pursuing your goals? Are there any long-held beliefs that are no longer serving you?

Are there any changes you would like to make in your financial mindset or habits?

What areas of your life feel stable and secure and which ones could benefit from more stability? How can you enhance your sense of security both internally and externally?

What areas of your life are you eager to see expand, and what steps can you take to facilitate that growth?

Imagine your life five years from now. What values, beliefs, and actions will help manifest that vision?

How can you strengthen your belief in yourself and your vision?

#jupiter retrograde #jupiter in taurus #jupiter retrograde in taurus

[tales-of-cerano]

As 2022 comes to a close I'm starting to look back and reflect on the past few years, something I haven't really done much in the past. Now I will for anyone who is willing to listen. You don't know me, I probably don't know you very well, but I invite you to do the same.

2020: The Year of Pain

An edgy start I know but a lot happened in this year. Fear in many flavors, opportunities closed, regression we're all themes of the year. For me personally nothing terribly tragic happened. I most likely had COVID and gave it to my whole studio in the beginning of January before I even heard of it (parents friends who had a business trip to china got a weird illness and it just worked it's way as it does). A hiring freeze locked me out of an opportunity with a university conservatory that I was extremely excited for. I felt lonely without my friends. Besides COVID I was consistently stressed about future graduation and career choices. It's a year that went so slow yet now I forget most of it.

2021: The Year of Transition

I went through 3 major transitions in my life during this year: graduated college, started a salaried job, socially and medically transitioned. Way more than I expected and probably more than I could handle. It's weird now that I think about it how much actually happened. The imposter syndrome took a lot of the good out of those accomplishments at the time but now I am starting to see it. I also will flex here because it wasn't really recognized but I was valedictorian of my college. My class rank was 1 out of not just the major/department I was in but also the entirety of the NCState class of 2021. Like 1/6000 people. I don't tell that to anyone really cuz I don't want to be a bragging asshole but I worked really hard for it so I'll flex in front of internet strangers who don't know me.

2022: The Year of Change

Not a lot of "things" happened this year like last year but I finally had enough time to actually sit down and reflect on things because of things slowing down a bit. I worked with a therapist for a few sessions. I started listening to Healthy gamer gg stuff and started thinking about my mental health as something that was a part of me rather than something to solve. My outlook changed. I can safely say that I am 1000% better with being comfortable with myself than I was before. Anxiety attacks over things went from being dissociative and lasting for weeks to being something manageable. It's nothing I ever thought would ever happen. I think the biggest thing that kick-started my change was to give things the benefit of the doubt and try them. I used to fight meditation saying it was something that wouldn't work for me cuz I'm too in my head until I just said you know what let's try. What's gonna happen it won't work and I waste an hour. So I did and now its one of the most influential things of my life.

2023: The Year of Forgiveness

This upcoming year I'd like to focus on letting myself live with mistakes I've made in the past and let go of some deep shame I have. I was dumb and while I never did anything like commit a violent crime against anyone I still feel like I caused a lot of emotional damage like bullying people in middle school and being critical to my friends. It's all stuff that I've either worked though, became aware, and changed. Of course I don't want to just toss it aside like it didn't happen but I want to recognize that while it was something I did it's also something that I can forgive myself for and move past as a better person.

This might change and who knows it might be another year of pain. Could be anything tbh. I'm open to it.

I wish anyone who reads this an insightful new year. Thinking and analyzing the past can be helpful to some. Tho if you have issues with deep and intense trauma I recommend you talk to professionals first. Exploring the past can cause things I think and make things worse when there is trauma.

#inner thoughts #year review #reflection #mental health #2023

[natasha911025]

MR artwork review: Blog post + short presentation

Description and Objectives of "360° VR TITANIC SINKING" by 360 Horizons https://youtu.be/Z4QV22VGfGs?si=p0pi_AGWe2fCJpXr

This YouTube video, created by 360 Horizons, offers a short look (7 minutes) at the full "Titanic VR Experience" game, a 6-hour VR adventure available on Steam, the Playstation Store and the Oculus Meta Store. The video aims to provide viewers with a deeper understanding of the 1912 Titanic tragedy through an historical immersive experience. This short view version serves as a teaser, encouraging viewers to explore the full VR game experience which allows players to take on the role of Dr. Ethan Lynch on a treasure hunt to uncover the secrets of the Titanic.

What do you think about the piece? (In 4 aspects)

Immersiveness:

Strengths: The video effectively minimizes motion sickness by placing viewers which is me in a lifeboat, offering a stable vantage point. It this reduces the need for me to be forced to look in a designated direction before I can understand the development of the story. Additionally, the ability to slowly and freely observe the 360° environment with a VR headset enhances immersion. The comfortable scene switching pace allows viewers to absorb their surroundings. Furthermore, the VR video offers subtitles which also help some people like me to understand the story.

Storytelling:

Strengths: The best part is the story-telling. In the initial scene, you can see that most of the passengers are still making noises and acting confused, while only the captain and a few sailors calmly analyze situation and give orders. The slow pace allows the audience to follow the unfolding situation from each conversations. Many background information were explained durning peoples conversation, such as the fact that only women and children could get on the lifeboat. At the beginning, most passengers thought that everything would be back to normal very soon, and some even joked about it. The narrative transitions smoothly, accompanied by realistic sound effects and background music, brining viewers into the emotional journey. The video successfully portrays the escalating anxiety and eventual heartbreak as the tragedy unfolds. Compared to the beginning, In the end, when I was watching the sunken titanic from a distance on the lifeboat. People around me started to cry and yell that their father was still on the cruise, and I felt deeply heartbroken. My emotion was changed through the video.

Visuals:

Strengths: The author effectively presents scene details like shadows, reflections, and red flares sliding across the night. When I look around, I can see that every character is having a real conversation or making actions that fit the scene, making the whole scene more realistic.

Areas for Improvement: Although the quality is set to 4K, the video resolution could be sharper. I feel like Characters models and animations lack realism. In particularly at the connection point between the sky and sea.

Audio:

Strengths: The audio is really clear. All the sound effects are real, such as the frequent signal gunshots, the noise of people, the tone of each character's speech, the sound of the water at night, the background music of the shipwreck, and everyone crying and screaming. The sound is full of details in this film.

The spatial audio creates a dynamic soundscape, with sounds moving and changing as the lifeboat progresses. The moment of the ship sinking is particularly impactful, thanks to the layered audio including cries from both the lifeboat and the distance. Not only did I hear the cries of the people on my lifeboat, but I also heard the cries of people in another lifeboat in the distance.

What do you think the creators were trying to achieve?

After experiencing the video, it is obvious that the creators biggest goal is not to let the audience experience the feeling of survival or fear of death. More importantly, I think the author actually wants to document the sinking of the Titanic. This is more like an educational film or a video that inspires the audience's thinking. Narratives such as “I am in charge of this boat; women are not allowed to paddle" were said by the sailor in the lifeboat. Although women on the lifeboat already agreed and realized they needed to paddle to warm their bodies in the cold weather. Another narrative I remembered is “Perhaps that explains why the sailors on the deck seemed almost unprepared and why our lifeboat only has 3 sailors.” This sentence was also said by women on the lifeboat. From their discussion, we can tell that everything is kind of massed up. The sailors were not well trained, and the escape equipment throughout Titanic was not well distributed.

Technologies Comparison (360° Titanoboa Snake Chase on Snake Island VR 360 Video 4K Ultra HD) https://youtu.be/X_qfq_xGVwE?si=Ory5NLhNy4J2f2st

While the "360° Titanoboa Snake Chase on Snake Island" video boasts superior quality and resolution, but the camera movements induce dizziness hence harder for me to immerse.

Learning Experience

The VR experience evokes a sense of heartbreak and empathy for the passengers. Witnessing the pain and screams firsthand makes the tragedy more impactful, I think one of the reason that makes me actually immersed in the video is because of the great audio effect, this emphasised how important audio is being in the MR. Additionally, the VR element transforms learning history into an engaging and interactive experience.

Overall, this 360° VR video offers a a striking glance into the Titanic disaster. While some aspects of the visuals could be improved, the immersive storytelling, impactful audio, and educational value make it a worthwhile experience.

#Youtube

[rainchae]

# HELLO KITTY : OCTOBER 2023

“i can teach you how to be just like me, crying all night, sleeping ‘til three. i can teach you how to be just like me, just listen carefully; kitty, she’s my favorite friend. i know no matter who abandons me, she’ll be there ‘til the end.” - HELLO KITTY , JAZMIN BEAN

WARNINGS : signs of depression , mentions of smoking

sometimes chaewon wonders, ‘what the fuck am i doing here?’

her curtains are closed, not an ounce of light dares to enter her room. she’s laying on her bed, her hair is a mess, her face is buried into her pillow. she hasn’t moved from her position all day. she hasn’t even slept, just wasting all day and last night holed up in her room.

it’s only 3pm. 3:17 to be exact.

she gets like this sometimes. sometimes this enormous wave of emptiness hits her. she doesn’t feel sad, she doesn’t feel angry, she feels nothing. it’s these times where she doesn’t care about anything. it’s humorous. the most selfish person she’s ever known doesn’t even care about herself.

sometimes it won’t even last that long; a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, it varies. it comes in at random it feels to her. she’ll feel fine one moment, and then it’s like a switch was flipped; a slow transition into nothingness. it’s almost like she becomes disconnected from the world.

but she’s not depressed, she swears she isn’t.

she just wishes she could stop existing for a bit. she wishes nobody cared about her enough to notice her absence. that she could haul herself in her house, sleep for hours on end, and nobody would care. she wishes she could just go to sleep and make the world forget about her for a few hours.

it’s the desire to be left alone.

the loud ringing from her phone however, won’t let her.

chaewon ignores it, hoping it’s not her manager. he’d send a search party out for her if she missed one phone call. she thinks she’ll just call whoever it is back later. if there’ll be a later. if whoever is calling her decides to give up and leave her be.

they won’t.

she lets out the longest sigh and begrudgingly decides to get up from her bed.

her body feels heavy.

her eyes burn; they blink in and out of consciousness as she stares down at her phone sitting next to her. picking it up, she read 4 missed call notifications and a text from minji.

‘i’m coming over’

‘i’m not answering the door’ chaewon replies.

‘i know ur passcode dummy’

chaewon groans and slams her phone on her bed. she plops down on her bed, turning on her stomach and pulling her cloud-like comforter over her head. part of her hopes that if she just goes back to sleep minji won’t even come, that she’ll just decide that chaewon doesn’t need to be checked up on.

minji knows better than that though.

“wonchae-ah!” the sound her best friend calling her and her door slamming snaps chaewon back into reality. it’s been about 15 minutes, but to chaewon, it felt like only 15 seconds passed. her body fills with a bit of dread knowing that she can’t avoid this. she hears her bedroom door open and minji walk in and set her stuff down by her bed.

minji takes a moment to analyze the scene. everything looks normal except on her bed. her best friend buried in blankets and pillows. a well of sadness fills her, chaewon hasn’t said anything yet but minji already recognizes her behavior. she feels terrible, guilty almost that chaewon gets into these episodes. if she could make it go away, she would.

“you know,” chaewon begins, noticing the minji’s reluctance to speak first, “it feels like you’re here for an unofficial wellness check.” she mumbles, face still buried into her pillow. no matter what, she’ll still find the energy to make some sarcastic remark. “i need a cigarette.”

“you need water.” minji sneers. she’s never been fond of chaewon unhealthy habits. she hates it. chaewon calls it ‘a moment of relaxation.’ minji calls it ‘slowly killing yourself for 10 minutes.’

the older girl pulls the white comforter off of chaewon. “get up. i’ll be right back.” as much as chaewon doesn’t want to, she listens, pushing herself back up into a sitting position. part of her wishes minji would just leave her the hell alone. but the rational part of her knows that she’s just being a good friend; motherly minji.

“bad day?” minji asks as she re-enters the room, glass of water in hand to give to chaewon. she shrugs, taking a drink before setting the cup on the nightstand next to her. she never really knows how to explain how she feels. it’s like, she can’t put it into words. it makes her feel dumb. like a child who hasn’t learned enough words to express that they’re upset and why.

but minji just nods and chaewon feels grateful. it’s one of the things she likes about minji. she cares but she doesn’t pry. she won’t pester her until she tells her ever single thought trapped in her mind, but she’ll make sure that she’s taken care of. minji gets her, not many people do.

“wanna watch a movie? there’s no way i’m leaving you alone right now. even if you think you want me to.” she says it like a joke but the underlying message is there.

“what are you, a mind reader?”

“no,” she drawls out the ‘o’, “i’m best friend. now come on.” minji smiles and makes a ‘shooing’ motion with her hands. it’s genuine, chaewon can feel it. she grabs her laptop off the floor and scoots over to make room for minji, the older one crawling into bed next to her. they settle on ‘high school musical’ and spent the rest of the day in each other’s comfort.

this doesn’t ’fix’ her, but it’s nice to have a distraction for a little while.

#chaewon :: 2023 #kpop oc #fictional kpop oc #fictional idol community #fictional idol oc #kpop soloist oc #fake kpop idol #idol oc #kpop #kpop added member #kpop addition #idolverse #newjeans #newjeans minji #kpop scenarios #minji x reader

[lanaintheskydreams]

Dream Journal for Sat July 9

Night before: Had a frustrating day trying to make a website but felt rushed, then spent the evening vegan cafe hopping to 3 places then felt so gross and went home and passed out. Even vegan food can be unhealthy.

I hate these dreams. I dreamt that 2 teeth fell out. And it was over a long period of time in the dream too. My top right canine, then the molar adjacent to it. In the dream I was in all of these places like school and many other places, and during the course of this time, my teeth were slowly falling out. It was uncomfortable and I wanted to goto a dentist asap, but by the end of the dream, my canine had fallen out, rather uncleanly too, I had tooth vestiges on my gums for some reason? I guess dream Lana doesn't know how teeth falling works...but maybe it was conveying that it wouldn't be a clean break. And then my second tooth was also coming out. Raya was there. Also earlier in my dream I was interacting with my college friend Kim alot too. I think I was back in film school actually. In my dream, my logic was that I kept attributing my teeth falling to my wisdom teeth being taken out. I thought that the crowding of my wisdom teeth pushed on all of my other teeth and was pushing these two out - which makes no sense. I know I felt horrified, loss of power, felt helpless, but relieved when the canine came out, but was just deeply wondering what was going on. I've had my fair share of teeth loss dreams, and I hate them all but this one was the longest most detailed one I've ever had. All I can do is write down my current state of being in my waking life and think its from that somehow. I am currently juggling tons of projects that I am very excited about. I finally feel like I am embodying my true self and purpose. I am so excited, but at the same time, my grounding has fallen away. Each day, I am not meeting my tiny goals and balance like just brushing my teeth, having good hygiene for my body and my surroundings. I feel like I am living in two worlds, one I really care about, and the rest I am just keeping my toes in for whatever reason - survival, care, ego. I remember the rest of the dream being very good and I had alot of fun. I was definitely in a school again learning. My dreams are becoming more and more like real life, just learning and teaching. Ralph Smart said in yesterdays video that lucid dreaming was a clear sign we were in the 5d.

I also had this weird moment where he messaged me back on a YT comment and I lived in surreality for a good 20 minutes. It was surreal getting a reply back from him because his video message aligned with the work I was doing. I felt validated in it even more when I realized it may have been a scammer because it wasn't actually from his account, just a fake account. I am so gullible at night. I need to remember how open, fragile, and sensitive my mind is. This has been something I always struggled with. I really need to transform my life and make good decisions. Though I am doing good work on a whole, I just am neglecting the world around me. Maybe I need to slow down. Make sure I am living consciously about the little things and not just spearhead the big things. The messages I feel from this dream are transition, letting go, loss, powerlessness, regret. I am still analyzing about my exes a lot and trying to understand things from a distant perspective. I am also still analyzing myself in the midst of the rest of this world. But I can't keep doing that. I can only worry about strengthening my own willpower and making good decisions for myself, how I treat people, and my environment. The canine is a powerful tooth, it is how we cut into the world. It is also a point of attraction. A very visible tooth, and is a part of the smile. I may have the feeling that if I don't take care of myself, I will lose essential things to my health, identity, and function. I mean, the fact that I am writing down all of this validates it even more. I also have been feeling a sense of powerlessness against the clock. I am doing so much in the day but the day goes by so quickly and I feel like I am not doing anything. Alot of it is feeling like I can't move much because of my pets and family situation. I feel bound up and limited and frustrated because I can't move freely in time and physically in space because my world is caving in.

My physical world around me and my physical health are are annoyances because I see them as cyclical patterns that distract me from my important work. Eating, sleeping, hygiene, organization -- it is annoying to me because I have to do it all of the time and since I see that I will always have to redo it, it makes me neglect it. I think -- I'd rather do something new and profound today. But then my world closes in on me and falls apart and I get slowed down.

My diet and lack of hydration are obviously affecting my energy levels. I need to exercise more as well. I think getting the momentum of a good routine will be easier than the transition itself.

I feel stressed out and behind in all of my duties. I have too much work to do. But it's the first time it is all the work I want to do that I may be neglecting the fact that I am very much stressed out. I really need to follow the schedule that I gave myself. I feel very off balanced. I don't even breathe deep and fully. I'm still waiting for things to happen amidst my doing everything, because of how I reacted when I got that YT reply. I felt some envy yesterday as well. I saw the company of an old college cohort really thrive. I remember him being so grounded and stable in his work years ago and he is even more grounded and successful today. But I wouldn't want to do the work he is doing and I have to remember that. I really feel like I am in transition. I feel like right now I have to really grow in my current job and ground into the purpose of that. I can't let it go just yet. My journey was my own and only I could have found my grounding through my own path and no his. I wouldn't have felt the purpose with his path, but I really need to ground more deeply NOW.

I think I am also frustrated at the lack of ability to keep promises to myself and am frustrated with my whims of emotions and trying to manage them. Well I can't do it when my surroundings are a mess that's for sure. I need to slow down NOW. And be ok with the timing in my mind.

Maybe all of the unseen unconscious parts of me are pushing forth and crowding out essential parts of my life like my work, health, and hygiene, and I need to focus on that instead. BAM. That's it. Yes, I feel strongly that's the meaning of my dream.

I am feeling very successful in my dream journal efforts, the fact that I am dreaming so much each night, and recalling dreams more easily and having more dream experiences and ability to share and communicate these ideas. I am feeling very grounded in the ability to ground myself haha. OK, gotta focus on my NORMAL life now and all of the little moments I thought were unimportant. They are all equally important.

My essential teeth are being crowded out by my wisdom teeth!!!! Teeth I don't need and aren't even there. Wow, writing things out really helps. I need more focus and nourishment of my front life. Wow my subconscious is smart. The WISDOM teeth is symbolic. It's hidden in the back can hurt you if it's there for too long. But now that I am focused on bringing out that part of myself, I have neglected the front.

The dream websites all say teeth dreams are about insecurity. I agree with that.

Hmm...this dream is telling me to look at everything that needs to be taken care of. This morning is about CLEANING AND ORGANIZING AND NOURISHING. My desktop, my room, my belongings, my body, my gut.

OK today I am going to commit to 2 uncomfortable things. I am going to start my showers cold. I am not going to have sweet dessert drinks even if they are healthy. I am not going to have coffee drinks even if it is uncommon.

I am going to start off my mornings, going straight to the gym while drinking a glass of water. I also am going to sit up straight and take full slow breaths. I will not watch any news not even good news. I need to feed off of my own energy.

I am understanding my aura photo chakra reading more now. My orange chakra was in my root chakra. Perhaps I was mistaking my creativity for grounding. I will have to post it and talk about it.

I definitely don't feel like I'm in the old world anymore. I feel like I am in a different plane where I feel my spirit more pronounced. But I need to honor the physical aspect now.

I see that I have written this need for so long. Treating my body badly, and needing to ground desperately. I also have constant urges to meditate and let messages flow through so I need to create space for that to happen.

Life is so magical. I am so happy right now. Just really need to ground.

I will be gone in the forest again all week working on a big project. It will be a good time to recharge.

[xxthehighpriestesstarotxx]

pick a pile reading:

what do you need to hear right now

take a moment and choose the pile you feel most drawn to

for personal readings message me

my prices for readings are 1$ per tarot/oracle card and 50¢ per yes/no pendulum question.

pile 1 on the left, 2 on the middle, 3 on the right

pile 1

part of fortune - increase

the part of fortune card when pulled can indicate a time in your life where more abundance will flow into your life. part of fortune can symbolize good luck, things coming easily to you, happiness and having your needs met. it can also symbolize, fate, or karma, and serve as a reminder to be generous and kind to others. there is going to be a period of time where things will begin to fall into place for you. new opportunities will be coming your way as well.

3 of wands reversed

this card shows that you may have been working towards a goal, or just trying to move forward in your life, however you’ve been dealing with obstacles and delays that keep getting in your way that seem to be slowing you down instead of helping you move forward. don't rush yourself to overcome the roadblocks in your way and take of advantage of the time you have to start thinking about want you want to do and how you will achieve it, also planning ahead for these goals. change will be coming, but there still has to be work done before that happens.

king of cups

the king of cups represents having a balance of your heart and mind, being diplomatic, compassionate and having and sharing your wisdom with others. the king of cups can also show someone who is artistic and creatively gifted. go with your heart, and gut, but also be logical and smart when making your decisions.

death card

the death card is the end of a cycle. there may be a change coming, bringing new beginnings and a transformation in your life in someway. you can’t cling to the past and the things that are stopping you. this is a major transition that will happen, you might be worried or afraid of what’s to come, but let go of the past in order to fully focus on the present and future changes to come.

overall message

you probably have been struggling with things not going your way, and obstacles in your path, slowing you down from doing what you need to do and reaching your goals. take advantage of the time you have to work on yourself and your situation, to be able think about what you want. with hard work, and perseverance you will get through this situation. with the king of cups, try to balance your emotions and logic. sometimes we can tend to react emotionally to situations without thinking about it and analyzing it before making a decision, be mindful of keeping balance of both.

with the death card and the part of fortune card, a positive change is coming, possibly a karmic change. however, with the 3 of wands reversed, there is work that has to be put in, and it's important to plan and think ahead for what you want. you may also have to leave behind the things in your life that doesn't benefit you or is holding you back. the king of cups can signify that some emotional growth, learning to have balance of mind and heart is needed in order to move forward, as well as a symbol to be compassionate and kind. this change will be end of a phase or era in your life, and its going to be for your benefit and bring positive changes, good fortune, joy, and wellbeing.

pile 2

air element - communicating

the air element signs are analytical, intelligent, at times detached, but they love to be informed about the world around and them and the things they enjoy. being analytical and a thinker can lead to overthinking, and anxiety. when the air element card is pulled in a reading, this can be a sign that its time to communicate what you want, and go for it.

the hermit card

this card shows a time of isolation in a way where you withdraw yourself from your current situation in order to self reflect, find yourself, or looking for guidance. this time is important for you to look back and reflect on what it is that has been bothering you, or something you want to change in your life. you might feel like you need space to get away from the world around you, to have alone time to think and do soul searching. look within yourself for inner guidance and take time for yourself.

2 of pentacles reversed

when 2 of pentacles are reversed it can show an imbalance, especially financially. things may have been disorganized and chaotic for you, you might be overworking yourself, and overextending yourself. this leaves you feel overwhelmed and stressed. you feel like your hands are full, there’s not much more you can handle at times. the two of pentacles encourages you to reevaluate your priorities, what your goals are, what do you want to do, and to make sure you are taking care of your self (mentally, physically, emotionally)

the strength card

this card shows strength, determination, bravery, and is a powerful card. someone who is strong and has gotten their strength from dealing with past experiences. this card is a reminder that you have the strength to overcome any challenges in your way. you are a determined and strong person inside, don't let others try to stop you or diminish that.

overall message

you might be struggling and feeling spread thin, overextending yourself, always helping others even when you know you don't want to or cant. you might be financially struggling or having an imbalance in that aspect of your life. with the air element card pulled, you may need to try to better communicate with others, when you are overwhelmed, feeling stressed and your needs too. its okay to reach out and ask for help from others.

with the hermit card, you need to take some alone time and reflect and think about your needs and what you want to do. really analyze your situation and what you want to do to overcome it. look within yourself for inner guidance and your inner strength. the strength card shows you have that inner strength, power, confidence and determination to overcome this challenge and any challenge you face. look within yourself and take care if yourself. you are a strong person, even if you don't feel like it sometimes.

pile 3

12th house - escape

this card suggests you might be healing from pain from your past, working past that and trying to heal. when this card appears in a reading, it’s can signify that something is off, if you feel vibes that don’t feel right, trust your intuition. this can also be a warning of secret enemies in your life. they will smile in your face, but wish bad on you behind your back. be careful of who you surround yourself with, not everyone has the best intentions. take this as a time to heal and work on building yourself up.

6 of cups reversed

when this card is reversed is can show that you are stuck in the past, not fully moved on and in the present. this card can also symbolize sometimes having a bad childhood, or bad relationships in the past. also leaving home, growing up/maturing and moving forward, and having gained emotional growth and strength from past experiences. despite this, you might still be stuck in the past, reminiscing or maybe even romanticizing certain memories or people from your past. don’t let put all your energy in the past thinking about changes you can’t change, when the present is now.

10 of wands

you’ve been working hard, with big responsibilities, maybe a burden, you have alot on your shoulders, you're tired, burnt out, overworking yourself. this has been going on for a while. don’t give too much of yourself to others when you have a lot going on with yourself. it’s okay to say no sometimes and take time for yourself. think about what’s really important especially in the long term. the ten of wands shows that the cycle of carrying a burden and responsibility is coming to an end, you put in so much work and effort, that when the cycle finally ends, you’ll feel the relief and it will be worth it and deserved

2 of swords reversed

you might be feeling hesitant to go through with something , or make a decision in your life feeling like both outcomes will be negative, or maybe having an inner conflict or one with others, whatever it is is leaving you feeling confused and hesitant on what to do. you’re overanalyzing the situation. don’t continue to stress and be anxious over it and do what you feel is right for you. don’t listen to what other want you to do and go with your intuition.

overall message & interpretation

you’ve been through some difficult times in your past, and have been holding on to it, not fully letting go of the hard times, and moving forward. you might be carrying a lot of emotional baggage with the 10 of wands, showing you are carrying a burden, along with a lot of responsibilities on your back, and despite this weighing you down, you’ve still made progress and things will be getting better soon. don’t let your past hold you back in life.

you’re ready to move forward and move on with your life but you find yourself stuck, the 2 of swords reversed is showing that you are hesitant in making this choice or moving forward. you need to make the decision or choice you want to make. don’t continue to be anxious and unsure about the outcome, with the 10 of wands you’ve likely been carrying this burden for a while, and once you make the choices you need to make, or do the things you need to do, the cycle of carrying the burden on your shoulders will be over. it won’t be a quick fresh start, but a relief off your shoulders, and because you made it.

if this reading resonates with you, this is a message you needed to hear. take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.

for personal readings, please message me :)

#pick a card #tarot #pick a pile #tarot reading

[rulerofstars]

i love your writings! but maybe we could have some angst??? like um.. levi had an argument with his s/o before an expedition over something and they made up after they came back to the walls?

Sunsets and Mishaps

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Genre: Angst, light fluff.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood, gore, deaths.

Word count: 2,600 words.

Angel: Thank you so much for requesting and for the kind words, anon! I enjoyed writing this one. <3

 The taste of the warm, strong tea eased the coldness caused by the chilly morning of an expedition. You have the habit of waking up early and being productive whenever there is one, just to calm yourself down and have a good start before heading outside the walls and encountering titans. Being out there could have two outcomes only, the first, you’d come back alive, and the second, you don’t. Every second spent before every venture is special to you, for no one will ever know what could happen next.

An assuring warmth from the rays that slipped through the window pain sent solace through the dubious mind that bothered your entire system. If the sunrise is this beautiful, then should you be looking forward for the day?

“You’re early, (Y/N)!” Moblit greeted, sitting next to you, and Hanji who has a bunch of different food in their hand sat across you. The latter, your best friend and squad leader had notable dark circles under their eyes, accompanied by the messy hair. Staying up late for experiments, again, you thought.

A piece of bread has been shoved in your hand as Sasha, one of your favorite cadets passed by your table and greeted you with a wink, you smiled at her.

“You are, too.” Hanji scoffed at your reply and glared at Moblit.

“He woke me up!”

“Of course, you told me to wake you up!”

“Not this early!”

“It’s your normal wake-up time! You’re just sleep-deprived, squad leader!”

Because of the noisy quarrel in front, you wanted to walk away and just sleep for a little bit more. These two never seem to hear each other even when they are millimeters close, they always shout!

The atmosphere of the mess hall transitioned from light to heavy when the intimidating aura of the elite squad entered the room. Their mere presence is enough to justify the reasons why they belong in the so called Special Operations Squad, and the number of titans they have obliterated is mind-blowing and you can’t help but to wonder, are they really human beings?

A familiar back profile made your heart flutter, his undercut makes you weak, and the way he held the tea cup as if he’s afraid to break it into pieces.

So he’s up early, too.

“Aren’t you going to kiss your lover?” Hanji asked, making you blush furiously. That question was so sudden!

Moblit immediately interfered, “Lovers don’t kiss all the time, Hanji-san!” He said, earning an approval from you.

Little by little, your whole squad appeared and occupied the empty spaces available. Your eyes occasionally dart onto Levi, who’s quietly listening to the conversation of his own squad and speaks every now and then. You wanted to go to him and spend the rest of your morning with him before you set off outside the walls, but you don’t want to interfere with his time for his squad. You are well-aware of your boundaries. How you should keep your feelings out of missions and focus on the objective. You and him had talked about this kind of matter ever since you’ve started dating.

And how you should keep your relationship as lowkey as possible.

Gentle yet meaningful habits pacified the yearning that burned for the both of you, the littlest things that you make, the slightest details that he considers, is what kept you sane. After all, it was you whom he would come home to.

But, you would not deny how much it irks you. . . to see him too close to another woman, yet not being able to do something to ease the slight pang of jealousy and pain.

“You okay?” Nifa asked, noticing the glint of uneasiness in your eyes, but you quickly shook the feelings away.

To make it believable, you forced a smile on your lips and answered your friend, “Of course!”

You hated how his certain squad mate looked at him the way you do, too. You are too aware of the woman’s feelings towards your lover, and you can’t help but to feel upset. How her small actions that meant something else find their way towards Levi, and how he does nothing about it, how he lets it happen, as if he’s giving her a chance.

Trust is one of the core foundations of your relationship, but you weren’t doubting your boyfriend, you are just. . . jealous. The two of you talked about how you should be open and tell each other everything you feel without any kind of hesitation. It was what made you strong as a couple- the thick line of communication never grew weary.

-----

Preparations weren’t that tedious an hour before the expedition because everything is already put together, thanks to Erwin. Everyone’s already in their uniforms, ODM gears have been checked, so no one is really having a hectic time, or so you thought.

The four corners of Levi’s office sealed every kind of noise from the outside, encaging you both with silence that is sometimes interrupted by the sound of papers shuffling. The captain sat on his chair, facing his desk, while he scanned a pile of paperworks to sign to. Thanks to Erwin.

You sat on the chair in front of his desk, sighing and arranging the scattered papers neatly.

“Levi. . .” You started, trying to gain his attention but to no avail, he did not even raise his head to look at you, but he did acknowledge you.

“Hm?”

Thoughts pervaded your mind, doubts about yourself and the matter that you would bring up to your lover. For once, you became hesitant of the things that you would tell him, but the way your jealousy permeated through the deepest part of your heart offered you no chance to analyze if this was the perfect timing, or not.

“Petra Ral. . .” His eyes focused on you since the mention of his certain squad mate, making you grow slightly more jealous of the girl, “Her actions. . . her actions towards you make me uncomfortable,” You looked at him and tried to read if any kind of emotion slipped through his steel grey eyes, but you found nothing but nonchalance.

“I’m jealous, Levi. I just want to tell you that.” You admitted, looking down and pressing your nails on your fingers. Agitation rushed through every vein of yours, you were nervous and you didn’t know why. Maybe for how her would react or what he would say.

He stopped what he’s doing and sat up straight, staring directly into your anxious eyes, “What do you want me to do?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, tell her to stop? Tell her about us? About me?” You suggested, and your heart almost stopped when you caught the slightest glint of irritation in his eyes.

“I thought we’d keep it low-profile?” He asked, looking at the papers one more time before arranging it neatly and staring at you again, “We talked about this, (Y/N).” His austere voice sent shivers to every part of your body.

“This isn’t about us,” You muttered, looking down and avoiding his cold stares, “It’s about me, my feelings, Levi.”

A scoff flee from his mouth, making you feel like what you just said was so dumb that he could not stand it.

“You’re being unreasonable,” He spat your name like it was poison out of his lips, and you stared at him in shock. For a moment, words would not come out of your mouth. For a moment, you were frozen and you couldn’t believe what you just heard. For a moment, you were hurt.

You bit your lower lip, eyes furrowed as you stared back at him with the same intensity. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were supposed to tell each other things.” Sarcasm coated your voice like sugar on spice.

His fingers flew on his face, massaging his forehead, as if it was too bothersome and stressful to talk with you, “Stop being childish, (Y/N).”

“Then stop being insensitive!” You spat back, raising your voice. Your heart never beat this hard because of a different reason. The way pain and disappointment embraced you right now felt so wrong.

A sigh left his lips, as he pointed towards the door of his office. And you felt yourself drop, never have you ever had an argument so bad that he would resort to kicking you out, or parting ways without talking about it.

“I can’t deal with you right now. . . just leave.”

Tears pooled in your eyes like a puddle being filled by the chilly raindrops of a hail. He made you feel so petty. Your feelings were never invalidated, and you never thought that it would be him to make you feel like this.

-----

You gripped the end of the reins tightly as you waited for the commander’s signal to advance. Hanji questioned your puffy eyes the moment they saw you earlier, and you lied by saying that you accidentally fell asleep while waiting.

What irked you the most is the noise caused by the Elite squad and how they tease their woman to the captain. You wanted to combust so bad because you had no choice but to endure hearing them. Childish? Fine.

As Erwin shouted, you wasted no time waiting and you immediately followed Moblit, with Nifa behind you and your other squad members at the back. You rode your horse like there was no tomorrow, occasionally being told to slow down to not ruin the formation.

Once the big-ass trees greeted your sight, you shifted to your ODM gear and slaughtered every titan that came across your vision. How you are extremely offensive right now surprised your squad mates, because you were never like this before. It was as if you were angry, and hell you are.

You let your body get taken away by the emotions that overwhelmed your system, that you didn’t notice how far you got and how long you were fighting. But you did not seem to care, you were going to fight until Erwin decides to retreat. The good thing is, you knew how to conserve gas, Levi taught you himself.

Like a thunderbolt, a titan rushed towards you, jumping through the branches of trees, and catching you off guard, making a sharp piece of the wood graze the side of your cheek slightly. You hissed at the sting yet resumed slaying the titan.

Time passed by and you lost count of how many titans you have killed, the second to the last blade in your hand is now starting to get weary, and you badly wanted to kill the one in front of you. You advanced in full speed and positioned your blade in a way that it’d execute the titan in one slash, but an arm stopped you before you could cut.

“Stop it.”

Your body shook, not because you were tired, nor exhaustion is starting to creep up your body. But it was because you heard your lover’s voice. And you did not know why, or for what reason could your body react like this.

“It’s time to head back.” He whispered on your ear. His voice was nothing compared to his cold ones earlier, because this one. . . it’s warmer than the sunset.

You bit your lip, letting your emotions take over you once again and yanking your arm away from him just to get back to the formation all by yourself. Your squad mates nodded at you the moment they recognized your form, and you were greeted by the sight of several bodies of people who suffered the fate of being taken too early.

The entire way back to the walls was coaxed with the heat provided with the orange sunset. Gone was the coldness that bothered everyone in the morning, it was engulfed by the warmth that reminded you of how every expedition ends like. The only warmth that reminded you of losing someone important.

-----

On an open field is where you sat, where they had experiments with the boy- the titan shifter. Of course, you knew, you were there. In front of you was the sunset that would soon say goodbye and leave its remnants of purple and deep pink. And the scent of your favorite soap sent comfort in knowing that you are already home, freshly showered, with a piece of snack in your hand.

You felt your lover’s presence slowly approaching you, his heat was greater than anything else. But visions of what happened earlier repeated in your mind, causing you to walk away from him, away from the feelings.

“(Y/N).”

One word from him, and you halted. And you hated it.

Not a minute had passed and you found Levi in front of you, his brown jacket now discarded, and what protected him from the cold solstice was a thin long-sleeves that you used to steal from him. His hand caressed the wound on your cheek, lightly letting his fingers kiss the fresh cut, but your eyes continued to avoid his.

Because of the schedule and trainings, you were deprived of the chance to spend time together. And you would not deny that you miss it. How you would sneak into his office late at night and come back to you and your roommates’ room before dawn. How you would steal food from the mess hall and share it with him. Or the late-night walks that you have done with him, pretending that no one would see. And you were sure that someone did.

You were never a secret, but you were extremely private.

“Look at me.” He said, his hands still cupping both of your cheeks. You pouted, not wanting to look at him because you knew how frail you get when it comes to him.

Your eyes met his, and it felt like you haven’t for a while.

“Look at me,” He repeated, and you stare directly into his, letting him read the emotions you have felt earlier. You looked at him as if you were complaining to him about himself and his actions earlier. “I’m sorry.”

Your lips trembled. Cheeks flushed and puffed, lips pouting, while warm tears filled your eyes once again. And Levi kissed your tears away even before they could paint your pretty face.

“Don’t cry,” He whispers, gone was the harsh tone that he used on you earlier, gone was the Levi that made you feel invalidated and puerile, “Fuck! Don’t cry. I’m sorry, baby.”

Sultry kisses on your forehead, and how his voice burned in apologies saved you from the cold breeze that wanted to touch your skin. He held you so close to him that you could feel how fast his heart beats for you, muttering how sorry he is, how he told not just Petra but his whole squad about you, how much of an asshole he was.

“D-don’t do that again. . .” You sobbed, face still buried in the warmth of his chest while your hands gripped his shirt.

“I promise.” He responds immediately, wiping the sadness and pain you have felt for hours and replacing it with the fire that dwells within him; the fire that you both made.

You were beneath the moon, and tonight, it was more beautiful. It was your witness, along with the stars that smoldered like a fiery heat. And within the coolness of  the dusk had you both realized, that the once searing sunset has kissed you both goodbye.

#attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #attack on titan x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #aot #snk #rulerofstars

[scarawayfromfallingapart]

but The (After)life of the Party is one of THOSE songs to me that’s like… to be cliche… a kick drum beating in my chest (again) like idk. This is one of those songs where I think they succeeded in writing it better than I’ve ever felt it but here I go trying to analyze it anyway… I realize I am taking your shtick @petewentzisblack1312 … but this song NEEDS to be analyzed and I am going to try and make you like it :) I have been lurking in ur asks as an anon for a couple weeks and I HAVe to say this off anon… I’m sorry to bother u. My greatest hits include my autotune does not equal bad/talentless rant and my Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) mini-analysis 🤪 but also I learn SO MUCH from ur blog I love it. Anyway!!! Analysis of this song:

Tw : mania, depression, anxiety, substance use

To me this song is about coming down from a manic episode, maybe not even necessarily transitioning right into depression but like. Just coming down from it and kinda seeing the world as it is again, and feeling that kind of mellowed out, where your body allows itself to feel tired again. The title makes it more obvious - he’s no longer the life of the party - it’s over, everyone’s gone home, but he’s still there trying in vain to carry it on.

“I’m a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart” is my FAVORITE line (hence my URL lol)… but the fact that this song opens with that and the narrator is oscillating between feeling 100% and feeling like they’re going to breakdown like THAT is what these transitions feel like to me (ok also I generally feel like this on a daily basis). But this line also gives you a hint of how well it is going… like he’s a stitch away from getting there - the cut hasn’t completely healed so he’s not getting there any time soon : but a scar away from falling apart - like a scar has already healed so it’s old hurt that is threatening to tear him apart —> “my old aches become new again”.

Then we get “blood cells pixelate” which I personally find hilarious since this song has been likened to the sims 3 soundtrack 💀 (I played the sims but I refused to have the music on so I have no idea cannot confirm or deny). Butttt this is obviously like a nod to everything being on film like even everything down to the blood coursing through his veins is made into an image, poster boys for your scene am I right? Also has to do with the scar/stitch - his breakdown is there for everyone to see, immortalized on magazine covers and interviews and E!News segments. But like only the blood cells, like no one gives a damn if he heals from this, thats not newsworthy. Eyes dilate (drugs and/or sex but maybe drugs Bc of the next line - full moon pills got him out on the street at night) butttt mania often comes with insomnia as we well know so. Maybe the pills are metaphorical idk

THEN the narrator becomes an observer - it’s no longer introspective, he’s watching someone else work the room, he’s cutting all ties to them loose, just sitting back and relaxing and watching and I always had this vision of Pete and/or patrick watching some girl flit around the room while he sat there with a lazy smile and drank a beer and leaned back in his chair. BUT on thinking on this more… I think- bear with me - maybe… just maybe… he’s watching himself outside of himself like some kind of dissociative thing (I personally experience that but it’s due to anxiety but it is common among just the general population so who knows) and it’s like you’re feeling that irritable high from the manic phase still and you’re trying to push through and just be part of this party right (or just part of life in general right, like the party is metaphorical IMO) and you separate form yourself in order to get through - your mind and body are not one. You have to watch yourself from the inside out, rely on muscle memory to get you through the party or your job or the tour or whatever it was in his case.

also tying back to I’m a stitch away - right like some part of you is cut in half and I’m a scar away - again, you were cut somewhere, something was severed, mind and body maybe… big brain hours (but also I’m probably reaching for that one)

Anyway then we have the “put love on hold” bc fuck if he’s ready for a relationship - he’s watching this girl desperate for stardom, maybe it’s the girl he’s watching work the room (if it’s not a dissociative thing, or maybe it’s both tbh). Her nose runs ruby red (cocaine is probably the cause I’m thinking, she’s doing lines at this party to be working the room). Death’s in a double bed (orgasms… nice one Pete) but really it’s a classic tale of a girl desperate for roles that she’s willing to sleep around to get there, she’s singing songs that could only catch the ear of other desperate people like her… but… Pete is writing THIS song and Patrick is singing it and they are just as desperate, right, like he’s helplessly watching someone enjoy a party and he’s verging on miserable (or he’s watching himself try to enjoy the party while he’s actually miserable) and they’re trying to catch our ears… we are the desperate… —> “I’m here to collect your hearts/it’s the only reason that I sing”

Then the bridge is where he starts to actually breakdown, the vocals get more intense and strained and chaotic, the sims 3 soundtrack music swells, and he repeats the beginning, reiterating that but adding on “kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all of my friends” - to me he wants to take away all their joy and pain (kills could also = orgasm if u want to be nasty lol and tie it into the death in a double bed) and he wants to feel it for himself because right now he feels NOTHING like he’s right in the goddamn middle of feeling great and feeling like shit and again, to me that exemplifies the transition between mania and depression and we are back to square 1 (to me also thrills = mania and kills= depression but that’s just probably dumb lol).

Also he’s kissing it all away - it’s gentle, it’s loving, like brushing someone’s tears away, he’s not trying to be forceful about it, but he feels like HE should be experiencing all the highs and lows not his friends… or he doesn’t want his friends to suffer… both probably and the chorus is unhinged this time, patrick gives it his all, loses it, signifying hey wait, the narrator DID lose it… but then the song ends with the music coming off that swell, slowing down, relaxing, the narrator resignedly signing off “I’m a stitch away”… giving us maybe an etch of hope, that maybe his stitches healed after all and he did make it through (with hearts and wrists intact I am so corny sorry)

ANYWAY tldr I love this song and it means so much to me and like when I was 15 and found it the first time I was always like “why does this one hurt me so bad, like I don’t get it” but like. Now that I know what bipolar disorder is and that I suffer from it I understand lol. I don’t know if this is how Pete intended this idk I feel like I got some lines right but to ME this is what it feels like. Also it is v fun to play on the violin :)

#fall out boy #infinity on high #ioh #fob #the afterlife of the party #plz don’t think this is weird ://///: I have thoughts #I recently found out I have bipolar so I am rethinking everything tbh #my depressive phases tend to be wayyyy worse like to the point I completely isolate and push people away #so that watching from the outside feeling is what I feel like a lot #not to mention the dissociative feelings from my anxiety :))) fun times #I tend to just experience hypomania so I am aware I do not feel the full extent of how destructive those feelings can be #I am not trying to glorify mania in anyway believe me #this was very long I expect approximately no one to read this and maybe that’s for the best lmao

[thetorreediary]

Last Train to Paris | Part I | The Torree Diary

Diddy-Dirty Money consists of Making the Band’s Dawn Richard, Kaleena Harper & Diddy. In an interview with Billboard, Dawn let it be known that even though the trio was on to something “brilliant and iconic” the world still saw and treated her and Kaleena like “background singers”. After much research, I gather that the energy about the group’s ignition and dismantlement varies amongst the former members. During an interview with VladTV, Kaleena explained how she came to be a part of the trio originally. She had an eight-month-old baby when the group joined forces circa 2008 and she was a budding recording artist trying to land her big break. Dawn Richard, on the other hand, was recovering from the blow of her girl group, Dainty Kane [created by Diddy per the “Making the Band” reality tv-show], breaking up when Diddy asked her to write, produce and star in Diddy-Dirty Money. After essentially four years of touring, following the success of the trio’s only album Last Train to Paris, Diddy went to act and produce again, Dawn began focusing on her now wildly successful solo career and per her interview with VladTV in 2015, Kaleena focused on family life while using the gems dropped by Diddy and the whole experience of DDM to create a lane for herself in the songwriting game.

All in all, Diddy showed his genius-level alignment skills when it comes to music and all it encompasses when he came up with the concept for the group/album and who would accompany him on the journey that was DDM. They produced a cult classic of an album and here we will dive deep and analyze the nuances of Last Train to Paris and what it meant and did for the culture of hip hop and R&B forever.

Intro: Our preface into this futuristic cosmo, the album’s introduction track is sporadic and laced with what sounds like alien noises that transition into a rhythmic hip hop beat. You can also hear women’s voices dancing in the background. Getting into the lyrics of the track, our narrator is beginning to express “Sometimes you can meet somebody and they could just take your soul”. He seems scorned yet accepting, saying “That’s just the way it is sometimes”.

The track is written and produced by Guy Gerber, an Israeli disc jockey. He [..blends the worlds of melancholy and euphoria so effortless], which perfectly coincides with the subject matter of this first track. This lays the groundwork for more romantic-centered contradictions and the alluring sounds that accompany them.

Ass On The Floor (feat Swizz Beatz): The jarring, drumline-esque percussion is the base in the layering of the Ass On The Floor beast. It is built up with a combination of hi-hat and snare which gives this 15-sec crescendo that is reminiscent of techno. Without warning or transition, the beat suddenly switches over to a synthesizer sound that is melo in comparison to its predecessor. Coupled with the lyrics, the beat helps tell a very clear story.

Have you ever been at the club, clearly heartbroken, but you’re determined to drink and dance your sorrows away? This is track 2 summed up into one sentence. The lyrics of “When you in the club get your ass on the floor”, “And you’re drunker than a motherfucker”, “Try to find your way back to the love, you motherfucker” and “I would’ve gave my last breath, Now you can’t breathe without me” are very much telling of the subject matter. The narrators are clearly experiencing a tough breakup and are struggling to overcome the emotions that come with that trauma. The way the beat slows down and speeds up over certain lyrics jogs memories in my mind of when I’ve been out enjoying myself and all of a sudden everything slows down in my mind and I have that thought I had been trying to avoid and then whoosh, I’m brought back to reality. Our narrators are definitely setting the tone of the album to be a decade-defying breakup joint

Dubbed a legendary producer in the game, Swizz Beatz is known for his ear-catching sound. At this point, you should be able to identify his beats off sound alone. Outside of his distinct drum patterns, Swizz is also known for not being afraid to take collaboration to the next level. Here, he lends his voice as an instrument and can be heard on the chorus and hook.

Yeah Yeah You Would (feat Grace Jones): Track 3 is furthering the newfound theme of Last Train to Paris. It is giving us more of the “star-crossed lovers whose stars are not aligned after all” vibes. The title is repeated 18 times, with the single word “would” being used upwards of 20 times and the word “could” thrown in the mix for nuance. All of that is a clear directive of the narrator being lovesick and reminiscing on what would’ve or could’ve been. The beat almost pump fakes at the beginning with this melodramatic slow vibe used to allow Swizz Beatz to make the song’s introduction. Then it transports you back to the album’s setting of the club. It has high energy and uses instruments in ways I have never heard before. I can only describe it as brain-melting hardcore neo-hip hop.

Floyd “Danja” Hills produced this electrifying track. His style calls to mind the likes of production powerhouse, Timbaland. It comes to no surprise that the Virginia Beach native’s career breakout moments come from being under the hand of Timbo. After jumpstarting his profession in such a major way, he went on to produce mega tracks like “Gimme More” by Britney Spears, “We Taking Over” and later “Shining” by DJ Khaled, and “My Love” by Justin Timberlake. Danja is not shy about putting everything he has into a beat and it shows proof again with Yeah Yeah You Would.

Hate You Now: Skipping ahead to the sixth track in the lineup we have Hate You Now. In verse one we hear Kaleena’s voice loud and clear for the first time on the album. Her sound, while extremely similar to Dawn’s, has a rich and deep tone that allows her to bring a grit to this track that suits it well. The track stays with the contradictory love spell theme with lyrics like “Don’t go, don’t go Don’t want you, I hate you”. In verse two Dawn comes in subtle but with just as much power towards the end to give this very serious vibe not just with the lyrics but with the volume of her voice too. Nestled in between the verses there’s Diddy with this smooth four-bar rap that basically sums up the reason for all the back and forth with the theme of loving and not knowing how to let go. “My mama told never cry, She never told me to say bye, I cannot let you go I tried, I hate you girl, you know I lie”.

I wanted to include this song in particular because it’s the first time on the album where each member of Dirty Money gets to shine. Free of distracting background music and/or vocals, Kaleena, Dawn, and Diddy sound like a unit here. It is refreshing and it eloquently transitions us into the second half of Last Train to Paris. This is where the fun really begins.

Honorable mentions go to Rico Love, a 2x Grammy Award-winning songwriter, who co-wrote this Yeah Yeah You Would along with Aasim aka Leroy Watson. Watson has been signed to Bad Boy for almost 20 years and has written and currently music for hit Starz show Power Book III: Raising Kanan and ABC’s Queens. Additional vocals were supplied by none other than James Fauntleroy, 2x Grammy winner, and Rocnation signee.

R&B frontrunner, Victoria Monet, co-wrote I Hate That You Love Me along with Darkchild, the late Lashawn Daniels, Diddy, and Latoya Duggan.

|tiffanytorree|

Stay tuned for Part II. Be sure to follow me on all social platforms for up-to-date insights and alerts as to when I’ll be posting again @TiffanyTorree on everything

#music #tiffany #tiffanytorree #blackgirlmagic #blackwriters #blackbloggers #review #album review

[geekns]

Loki - a deeper look

Loki’s journey through the MCU only makes any sense to me if i overanalyze all of it. For examples, what I comprehend through subtext found in the Avengers is: Loki was tortured by Thanos. Loki blatantly presented himself as an enemy to the yet-unassembled superheroes, ensured the Avengers would team up, and was relying on Erik's resistance: all to ensure that he would be defeated. Then he allowed himself to be captured so he could be protected from Thanos on Asgard. 

For some of this, this is basic, right? We’ve eagerly watched Loki for years, we’ve analyzed his actions, we know who he really is. That’s why we’re Loki’s Army. So why does Loki seem so OOC in Loki?

The TVA is not completely all-seeing, but I still maintain that Loki was never alone during the Variant. Take his escape in “Glorious Purpose:” his movements through the Time Twister seem to completely remove him from view rather than blur him (unlike when he's slowed with the time/prune-stick thingy). So the TVA couldn't see him while he is in Time Twister transit, but it certainly did not take them long to find him. 

It took them less than a minute to realize he was missing. It took Loki a few seconds to find Casey, he had two minutes with him before B-15 found him, it took him just over four minutes to watch the end of Alpha Loki's life, B-15 had already found him again, and then he had a couple minutes, tops, to decide what he would do with all this new info before Morpheus found him. That's 5-10 minutes of freedom.

There are cameras everywhere in the TVA. And agents, Minute Men, administrative employees with various states of awareness of their surroundings, and even Miss Minutes herself. If i were Loki, i would assume that my every movement is being watched while I’m in the TVA and out of it.

In fact, Loki’s not even alone when he finds out about the destruction of Asgard!

So what would you do if you were being watched 24/7, would be caught inside ten minutes even if you were able to escape, and resisting and/or not cooperating is going to certainly end with death? Loki's solution seems to be acting as if he's cooperating for as long as it is expedient. Stalling for time, trying to seem harmless, etc.

Yes, it's not the Loki we want to see. Give me Avengers or TDW Loki any day of the week, i'm begging you, just let him use his full capabilities of magic and physical strength. But some of us are finding parallels to his actions that match all of the films he's been in (bless you guys). For instance, when have we known him to overact and be purposefully annoying in the past?

Loki's current behavior is typical of when he's grieving, trying to appear as if he's earning someone's trust, etc. I'm sorry, i know that the overacting is jarring, but surely this is a choice on Tom's part. No, it's not believable that possessed humans can throw him, but equally so, it's not believable that B-15 could, either. 

Loki's interactions with Mobius even echo his conversation with Thor in Ragnarok just before "Get Help." Annoy, appear to be cooperating, do not be assertive or threatening. Yes, even charm his way to the top, but no, it's not about overthrowing the Time-Keepers to rule. Yes, when Thor and Loki are talking in the elevator, Thor assumes that Loki wants to rule Sakaar (Loki merely assumes that Thor doesn't want him to come along back to Asgard). This misconception is one of those things that gets repeated over and over again: “Loki only wants to rule,” they're constantly shoving it into our faces, and I have never bought it. 

In Thor, he wasn't expecting to rule. In the Dark World, he tried to convince Thor to take the throne. In Ragnarok, he immediately ceded the throne to Thor when his brother finally decided to take it. In “the Variant,” the Variant tells Loki that she has no interest in ruling the TVA, once again assuming that Loki means to rule (which is one of the reasons I don't feel like she's Lady Loki, but i digress). 

The only reason Loki wanted to rule is because his mind was twisted by Thanos, that's the only time that ruling was his glorious purpose. And this version of Loki has already shaken that off, decided that purpose was hollow, not in the least bit glorious. Loki is perfectly capable of ruling well, that's not what his heart's desire is.

Loki wants to get to the top so he can save himself, plain and simple. He doesn't want to die. His strategy is consistent again (per Ragnarok, both with the GM and Thor), to prove himself useful to the people who are actually in power. And he doesn't stick his neck out unless he's forced to. If he is caught out being selfless, he plays it off as if it's for glory rather than because he's actually a decent person.

Now, ultimately, Loki probably does have it in mind to overthrow the TVA, but because he does not like their control over him and it would be fun to take vengeance. But, from what I am seeing set up here (and i may be 100% wrong), TPTB are setting us up to be distracted by the superficial Loki--that version of Loki that the people who don't overanalyze everything they watch are used to seeing (because they still do not properly understand what is obvious to us)--just so they can subvert that and give us the Loki that we know and love, as he truly is. 

Someone who wants you to think that he doesn't care, or only cares about himself, but deep down is quite noble and selfless. Who manipulates things behind the scenes for the good of his brother and the good of Asgard. Who is tragically misunderstood and would never wear his heart on his sleeve in public. Who has been literally tortured, and lied to, and told what his intentions were rather than listened to or believed in.

But IF they are just fucking this up then i'm done. I like my version of Loki better than the superficial one that we've been force fed in the past. This is already the MCU’s/Disney’s last chance with me.

#the loki series #Loki series spoilers #meta #parallels #character consistency #thor #the dark world #ragnarok

[dreamersleeps]

Red Wings of Temperance

A Possible Influence Behind the Color of Hawks’ Wings

A deck of tarot cards is made up of 78 cards, and the first twenty two are known as the Major Arcana. They were created in the 14th or 15th century but were not used for divination purposes until the 18th century. Tarot card readings are not meant to predict the future but to offer spiritual guidance. 

The image above (from Oracloo) depicts the 14th Major Arcana card in the tarot deck which is known as: XIV Temperance. 

Like me, I’m sure that your mind jumped to a certain pro hero as soon as you saw the figure’s red wings. 

What might Temperance have to do with Hawks? Let’s first look at a couple definitions of the word first. According to Merriam-Webster: 

Temperance

1. moderation in action, thought, or feeling

2. habitual moderation in the indulgence of the appetites or passions 

If Temperance is drawn, it means: 

Balance, patience, and moderation in life. 

To think before we act. To look at both sides of an issue, to walk in another’s shoes or their path before we pass judgement. To be compassionate, considerate and fair in our dealings with others (bluestartarot). 

That you have a clear, long-term vision of what you want to achieve. You are not rushing things along; instead, you are taking your time to ensuer that you do the best job you can. You know you need a moderate, guided appraoch to reach your goals (biddytarot). 

Other Red-Winged Figures 

Before we begin I’m going to point out that there are a couple other Red-Winged figures amongst the Major Arcana. 

I’m not aware if nudity in art is allowed on Tumblr so just to be safe, I cut the bottom half of both these cards because they depict nude individuals. 

The tarot card on the right is VI The Lovers and XX Judgement. Out of the two, I think you could perhaps make some connections with Judgement and Hawks but I think that Temperance works the best. 

Symbols of the 14th Arcana

There are quite a few symbols on XIV Temperance, but I’m going to focus on a select few. Interpretations may differ based on the source but I tried to stick with those that were repeated throughout the different websites I read through.

The most important part of this card is the act of pouring water from one cup to another, signifying a balance of duality and a mixture of two separate objects. This is where the card gets its name, the process is called “tempering” which is a slow process to eventually find a perfect middle ground (wemystic).

Other dualities that is represented on this card can be: male/female, spiritual/physical, emotion/logic, conscious/subconscious and subconscious/superconscious (we mystic).

Temperance revolves around supreme balance. One foot is on land which represents the Earthly, material world and the other is in water, which represents the emotional, subconscious world. 

The winding path leading to the mountains represents the journey through life with its twists and turns. The sun, appearing as a glowing light is a symbol of staying true to one’s life purpose and meaning (biddytarot). 

Fire/Red wings: Physical passion, anger. Muscles and strength necessary to maintain composure and reach a higher being state. 

Blue water: Emotions, peace, calm. Groundness and refreshment. 

White gown: Pure thought. 

Yellow Iris: Communication, thoughts, learning, feminine/masculine. 

Temperance’s wings are either referred to as “fire wings” or “red wings.”  If we want to make connections to we can argue that his Fierce Wings Quirk is the source of his physical strength, even though he displays some insecurity about his back not being “reassuring” enough for others to depend on. 

Other than his red wings, I don’t think I’m confident enough to draw a clear connection between his appearance and the other prominent colors that appear on Temperance. Hawks’ visor was blue before the anime chose yellow, and he does have the yellow color palette going on. 

However, the meanings of the colors do line up with Hawks’ character. He is a character who is always trying to be calm and collected no matter the situation. Hawks is a character who is constantly seeking, taking in, gathering, and analyzing information. According to the fandom website, Hawks’ surname translates as: “hawk” (taka 鷹) + “see, visible, idea” (mi 見 )

While his first name translates as: “disclose, open, say” (kei  啓) + “enlightenment, understanding” (go  悟).

Sun: Also appearing as the angel’s third eye, it represents the merging of personal aims with the universe’s plans for the individual. 

So similar to many others, I like to see Endeavor as the sun to Hawks’ Icarus (side note: I also like to see Dabi as Apollo in the Icarus theme). 

The bit about the eye is interesting as well: I believe that eyes play an important role in the story telling with Hawks, Endeavor and other characters. There are interesting similarities between the two characters and the Egyptian Gods Ra and Horus (@/bokunowtv also pointed out some interesting details as well).

Recently, it also seems like Hawks’ storyline will be intertwining with Endeavor’s. Hawks has expressed verbally in Chapter 299: “Starting with my origin, so to speak... Endeavor’s in trouble.” While they did team up professionally as heroes in the past, it seems that Hawks intentions this time will be personal. We have yet to see what he is planning to do and how things might pan out, however this path will probably lead him to Touya. 

Triangle: Representative of the fire element and holy trinity. 

Although Hawks does not wear a triangle or square on his chest like the angel, it is still interesting to note that he wears the Hero Public Safety Commission’s diamond symbol in about the same place. Again, there is the mention of fire again. 

The Angel

Because Temperance has to do with balance and duality, the angel on the card is both masculine and feminine.

Whether they are just an unnamed angel or a Biblical angel depends on the source you are looking at. However when it comes to identifying them, while one states that it is the Archangel Gabriel, the sources I looked at overwhelmingly pointed towards the Archangel Michael.

This is very, very interesting considering that the Archangel Michael is the angel who is in all the paintings that people were comparing the cover of Volume 27 with, specifically the painting above: “The Fall of the Rebel Angels” by Luca Giordano.

My analysis first post on Tumblr had to do with pointing out similarities between the Archangel Michael and Hawks, and what that could mean. And my most recent post revisits the possible angel narrative which may be present in Hawks’ story, and how he is referred to as a “fallen angel.”

It’s exciting to see the Archangel Michael pop up again. Michael was also God’s angel of destruction and on XIV Temperance we see him tempering or blending his passionate anger with consicious thought to blend his fiery nature with his super-consciousness with calm (blustartarot). 

Temperance Reversed 

When Tarot cards are reversed, their definitions are flipped over. 

When XIV Temperance meets XV The Devil we see imbalance, disharmony, indifference and lack of empathy. When we preactice excess in our lives without moderation and balance whether it be food, alcohol, drugs, and relationships, we lose ourselves in addiction and bondage (bluestartarot). 

May call for a period of self-evaluation in which you can re-examine your life priorities. Self-healing: by creating more balance and moderation in your life (biddytarot). 

We’ve seen Hawks indulge in something or trip up a couple of times. In Chapter 186, Hawks asks if he can have Endeavor’s leftover food and Endeavor calls him a glutton. Additionally, @/scarletrain1724 has done some analysis on how Hawks is a character who is often seen around or consuming food. 

And in Chapter 265, Hawks takes Jin’s life. As Dabi states below, “sentiments” tripped him up. Hawks displays a lack of empathy here. He believes that he feels sorry for Jin and wants to help him, but Hawks is actually unable to understand him properly. I would also identify this action as one of Hawks’ narrative Icarus falls. 

The Moral of Icarus’ Fall  

This all ties in nicely as we see Hawks’ character following an Icarus narrative. There are a handful of “morals” that we the reader are supposed to gain from the Fall of Icarus but I’ll pull an excerpt from the part I’d like to focus on. 

Before taking flight, Daedalus warned his son: 

“Take care to fly halfway between the sun and the sea. If you fly too high, the sun’s heat will melt the wax that bids your wings. If you fly too low, the sea’s mist will dampen the feathers that give you life. Instead, aim for the middle course and avoid extremes.” (The Fall of Icarus - adapted from Metamorphoses by Ovid)

As we all know, Icarus does not heed his father’s warning, whether it be cause he purposely ignored him or forgot and flies up towards the sun. The sun’s heat melts the wax and loosens the feathers on his manmade wings, and he plummets in to the ocean below, drowning. 

Avoid extremes, fly in the middle and seek temperance.

The card that comes before Temperance is XIII Death.

In death we go through transition, a rebirth, changes and with these we come to XIV Temperance for the need to take the time to pause and think. To integrate and blend what we have learned on our journey (bluestartarot). 

So the question to ask is, has Hawks learned anything from his actions or will his story end with him drowning in the ocean? 

To those who were able to make it through this post, thank you! I know that it was really long but I didn’t want to divide it into more than one part. I really appreciate your time and attention! :)

#visual #hawks #takami keigo #bnha analysis #mha analysis #mythological influences #religious influences #bnha #mha #bnha meta #mha meta #luna writes #my post

[thewebcomicsreview]

Hey, it’s Hamsteak 2! The last double update month since they fell below 2000 patrons.

Previously, on Homestuck, Jane blew up John’s home, and he’s been stuck there.

For a second I thought this was inexplicably John’s dad back from the dead, but I presume it’s Solid Karkat

Post Theme:

Yep, there we go. The red outline on the eyepatch is a bit much, but otherwise it’s a solid post-apocalypse outfit. Also one with no Cancer symbol, so if Kanaya’s new outfit not having the Virgo and Vrissy not having a Scorpio didn’t confirm it already, looks like Candyland trolls don’t use signs anymore (even though Meat Karkat still does). 

KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.

Nice subtle reference. I’m reading this in David Hayter’s voice.

The hard transition from that hero shot back to the standard sprites is great, and I think one of the few times either Homestuck has actually been funny with its multiple art styles.

JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.

KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN.

KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY.

I gotta admit, I was kind of hoping that Karkat would just straight-up be Big Boss now and not even vaguely resemble his HS1 self. 

KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH. JOHN: huh? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING. JOHN: my shoosh thing. KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING. KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS?? KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB???

Karkat speaks on behalf of the forums asking why John didn’t just put out the fire. Apparently John didn’t think of it. Which, in fairness, John’s kind of slow.

KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START.

KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP.

KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT.

JOHN: ...right.

KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY?KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT?

KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT?

KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS!

Oh boy.

So, there’s a little bit of a meta “Ha ha, you thought Jane’s nonsense plan was us being bad writers but it actually made sense!” going on here, but if Homestuck 2 is going to have Gamzee’s corpse randomly teleport into a closet and explain it behind a patreon paywall or have two NPCs with silly names that are subtle Easter eggs paired with an NPC who’s silly name is just a silly name and the joke’s on you for trying to figure it out, you can’t then turn around and dunk on your audience for not thinking enough about what’s happening in the story. I’ve tried thinking about Homestuck 2 and making predictions, and I’ve repeatedly been punished for it with sloppy nonsense non-answers. You can’t make fun of the readership for not analyzing the events of your story when half the fucking thesis statement of your story is dunking on the kind of reader who likes to analyze stuff! You’ve trained me not to think critically about Homestuck 2, and if this is an attempt to try to retrain me then fine but you can’t be surprised this happened. If your story doesn’t make sense and someone strange happens, people will just repeat to themselves “It’s just a show, I should really just relax”.

KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL.

JOHN: shit.

KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED.

JOHN: shiiiiiiiit.

On the one hand, it’s deeply hilarious and cosmically fitting that Vriska’s “Walk into the trap on purpose so as to heroically fight our way out of it” plan failed. One the other hand, how did a handful of human mooks defeat Vriska, who is on the same power level as Bec Noir? 

KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO.

JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):

(Also John FYI you have a son somewhere you really ought to be more concerned about right now)

JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers?

JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her.

Okay, fine, you’re addressing this and it’s a mystery I’m supposed to speculate over. Cool. If Homestuck 2 is making a concerted effort to present mysteries and then answer them instead of just being nonsense, that’s a change in direction I welcome.

JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot...

KARKAT: A LOT WHAT?

JOHN: a lot funnier.

KARKAT: FUNNIER.

JOHN: how to put this.

JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny!

JOHN: but now it's just not the same.

JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know.

Christ, this comic is so fucking meta. 

KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.

KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!

KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.

KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE.

KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE.

KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE.

DO YOU GET IT. IT’S ABOUT CAPITALISM. KARKAT IS A PORTLAND PROTESTER AND JOHN IS A WHITE LIBERAL. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT AND I WASN’T BEING TOO SUBTLE.

Anyway, long story short everyone told Karkat about Yiffy but neglected to mention that Dave was presumed KIA. That was rather rude of them.

#Homestuck 2 #Homestuck 2 Liveblog

[alientitty]

what does mars entering taurus mean?

👀 oho someone is interested in my interpretations? i’ll try to be concise but this is actually a very broad question

In technical terms it means that little red dot in the sky is now between 30 and 60 degrees away from the point where the Sun rises on the vernal equinox. Astrologically, Mars is generally associated with war, combustibility, drive or conflicts, while the sign of Taurus, as the first earth sign, often indicates directly visible material goods, physical comfort, the Earth or land, etc. so for my personal story, cooking over an open flame is a very lighthearted manifestation of this

Buuut i know you want my connection to events in the district of columbia today. So honestly, it’s partly been my observation (and that of astrologers I follow) over the past year or so that major Mars activity has coincided with something dramatic happening in the US (obviously not just here but we know events in the US more closely); 2020 was a crash course in mundane astrology (predicting/analyzing events and nations) for everyone. However militant Mars didn’t simply enter a new sign focused on tangible goods today, he’s also entering a new relationship to some outer planets, which move more slowly and indicate events r trends in wider society.  From my my 2021 sneak peak:

January 6: Mars enters Taurus // ♂ ➡♉ This means he’ll be squaring Jupiter, Saturn, and conjunct Uranus–possibly igniting some of the issues they have brought forth? Mars and Uranus may prove combustible against critical Saturn, but Jupiter may be more receptive to change.

The most striking part of this ingress (entering a sign) is that Mars is entering a conjunction (0 degrees separation) with Uranus (I just looked it up and this will go exact on the 20th, inaguration day /LMAOOOO yikes). Uranus wasn’t discovered until the Enlightenment and has acquired a rosy reputation for revolution and technological innovation, but more generally he indicates sudden, unexpected change. In the sign of Taurus, fixed earth, this could mean disruptions in tangible areas or processes we normally consider stable (such as confirming the e,lec,tion results..). Uranus transits usually burn long, slow, and deep, but a faster moving planet like Mars can act as the spark that makes this flame blaze for awhile. So Mars entering Taurus in 2021 specifically means it’s now next to Uranus (~6 degrees away at the moment, and moving towards it), igniting sudden changes in places/land we take for granded.

An even more exact aspect (special angle-- ±10°) is that Mars (and Uranus too) is now squaring (90 degrees/conflict) Saturn and Jupiter, who have just entered Aquarius. Saturn and Jupiter had a lot of dancing around last year in Capricorn, reflecting disruptions of government institutions and daily life, so like the blockquote said, Mars hitting a close aspect (it’s within 4 degrees for Jupiter, 2 for Saturn) with them is bringing back to light some of the problems they raised last year--I’d say Donnie’s superfans taking to the streets count as one such issue. Add sudden-Promethean-change Uranus to the mix and it’s no wonder something like this happened. Saturn and Jupiter spend about 3 years and 1 in a sign, respectively, and are thus a good indicator of the current cultural/political moment--in Aquarius, this essentially indicates a changing up or questioning of the rules. Thus Mars entering Taurus today just means that it’s in the perfect position to light up all of this shit going on, particularly in the literal material realm such as the land or buildings where social change & institutions normally operate.

This post is getting long but, I will say that Mars & Uranus are now in the 6th house of the United States’ chart (if you take 5:30 in Philly on July 4, 1776 as a beginning point for this nation). I’m a little shabby on mundane astrology but this house is generally associated with work, routines, and servants--and the sudden changes are being enacted on our “civil servants” in co,ngress during what’s normally a routine approval of the vo,te seems hard to ignore. Additionally, Saturn’s & Jupiter’s (who are square--starting fights with--Mars&Uranus rn) trek through Aquarius takes place in the United States’ 3rd house--which is the realm of communication and short term travel, (the USPS debacle in the summer also coincided with Aquarius activity iirc), and it’s interesting that this newest challenge of our society’s structure (Saturn in Aquarius) has been enabled (Jupiter) through social media (Twitter, 4chan, podcasts). I think I have to agree now with people who say Aquarius is linked to the Internet!

Anyways this is just my perspective on how events are turning out in the U.S. particularly. More generally, social problems may ignite in very literal, stubborn conflicts--little angry Mars is starting fights with the big boys. He’ll be in that 10-degrees sweet spot for the rest of the month and doesn’t enter Gemini until March.

#im using whole sign houses for the US chart btw #ask.txt #Anonymous

[dark-imagine-robots]

"Who are you?" A story in the First TOTC story series.

((I actually have a journal that has the names of parts that are in both the Second and First main story of the TOTC. "Who are you?" Is actually the name of the story bit that has first meeting between Dark and Bob. But instead of it being a third person perspective, I'm going to make it in Bob's pov.))

"Who are you?" I still remember so clearly as if it were yesterday... as if, we met not too long ago. 

There was not much of me to do that day, it was actually one I have decided to close up early since it was winter. Surely winter would be busy, but it's quite hard to want to come to the area of the forest I was in on winter time. It does not snow all that much in the part of the forest I was in, but it could get deathly cold. So I would understand if customers would rather not get hyperthermia trying to reach my home. 

Supernaturals, on the other hand, they become rather active in the winter. As the cold motivates them to keep moving and hunt for food that may be unmoving in their hideaways. 

What I'm trying to get at with... this... is that...

No, not pleasing at all.... it was a horrific sight and a heartbreaking situation. 

I never seen a human child so small, and so frail.... let alone I never seen one so mutilated, vulnerable, and close to Death's grace. 

As I was trying to clean up and close up my shop, she was there... struggling and trying to crawl my way. Her legs, her back, and her lower torso were the most damaged, grotesquely torn apart. My soul ached more than it should have at the sight. I was shocked, and didn't know what to do at first.... but she needed my help.

At....this time.... Dark was still transitioning into a semi-being. She was mostly human than being, and it did not help when I was trying to figure out her soul when she was in this state and transition. 

It scared me, I didn't know what she was and I did not know what to do in such a situation.... however, one thing was clear.... she wasn't due to meet Death.

Her time was not now. 

I analyzed her before I carefully took her off the ground, making sure she didn't fall apart due to her current condition. She was mauled by a Supernatural making of the NightCrawler kind, the species specially being "Rake". 

Since all I could identify from her body is that it's human, I had settled on using human treatment to patch her back up. It was lucky chance that her body, in transitioning, was also trying to heal itself at a faster pace than the usual speed for a human to heal themselves. Yet, it was still rather slow than at rapid.... and it seemed like she wasn't going to make it since her breathing sometimes ceased from time to time. I had to use my magic to keep her breathing when it those happen.

It disturbed me, still to this day it does, seeing her like that for the first time... unfortunately it would not be the last...

Even though I patched her up, her wounds mostly repaired, she was still unwell.

Her body still being human, it didn't like the cold. More so since it was trying to heal itself as is. 

So, I took it upon myself to keep her in my home until she was well...

I did not leave her side, not for a moment. 

I even had to close shop to give her my full attention, as I really don't want the blood of a child to stain my hands. 

She did not want to wake up, nor eat at first.... but I've learned that it was because she was in the presents of a strange... who was also a Skeleton!

From there, I started to know more about her. 

Of course, she wouldn't know what skeleton Demons are due to her having only human influence, black matter influence, and some other influence from lesser Supernaturals. Which was hard to hear sometimes... not because she was "human", but the fact she was only 11 years old at the time. 

So one would be rather.... concerned... since a 11 year old human child had to bore so much burden, hurt, and fear already... 

Despite everything she has gone through though... everything....

She still smiled.

Wonder.... it's simply a word. But a word with meaning to me.

I held wonder in my soul... but her... Dark was wonder. 

She wasn't a full semi-being when we met, but it showed.... Wonder showed through her smile and through her smile  her soul. 

Unfortunately, our first meeting was stopped when a proxy prompt her to leave. I could've kept them away, but it was under rule to not interfere with the goals and plans of proxies. As skeleton Demons as a while would end up getting involved with the plans and goals of proxies themselves and their Leader, The Operator.

I had hope for Dark however, as grim as it seemed.

And that hope, the wonder.... it did not give way.

As it was not the last I've seen of Dark.

We became the closest of friends, I got to see her grow and change...

But...

I began to see her change... but it only became more and more saddening as time and events went on... 

Her face, young but worn down by emotional stresses and damaged by unchangeable pasts... her smile long fading as the more hurt and mistakes she makes prompted it to show less... 

Her soul....

Never healing... and her wonder fades..... 

I-.... I sometimes worry that she doesn't sleep either. As she grows less attached to her happines and her humanity, the more she becomes less....her... and more of a being than human. 

But her pain will never cease... she can't feel physical pain, but I can see and sense that her emotional pain is there permanently. And it always has been there from the beginning...

She has made mistakes... some even with me...

But I've long forgiven her....

She simply doesn't forgive herself...

I just hope.... I can see her again to let her know that everything isn't her fault...

I hope...

#TOTC Billy Bob #TOTC Dark #skeleton oc #skeleton art #Skeleton #my OC #my universe #my story #My writing #TOTC #Trilogy of the Company #TOTC Story #TOTC writing #TOTC lore #my art #my drawing #my digital art #art #drawing #digital art #digital drawing #story #writing #character monologue #character dialogue

[cowboypossume]

so i reread keeper of the lost cities and here’s my fresh input:

a note before we begin: you know how people fake throw up at things on tik tok? this book is the reason i now unironically do that.

dex and fitz really have the enemies to lovers troupe going for them and i’m ok with it. i really am.

so do sophie and biana at the beginning but it fizzes out so a better description is enimies to friends to lovers

marhella and stina give me such power top energy i cannot express how much i think that contributes to people not liking them

speaking of stina i wish sophie didn’t just immediately hop onto the bandwagon of “oh she’s evil” without investing further, especially with how much she is written as a ‘good’ person (which i can and will defend to the day i die that good people don’t exist but that’s for a different day).

there’s way too much heteronormativity and Patriarchical Ideas mushed into the book. like three hole pages of a 488 page book of teenagers being like “oooooo girls like guys and guys like girls” only for della to join in. not to mention the amount of times keefe is the reason for those ideas because he’s teasing like “oh fitz has a girlfriend”

keefe and fitz didn’t have as many bonding moments™️ in this book as i remember, but they stil know each other really well, have comfortability around each other, and would make a 10/10 best friends to lovers troupe.

oh my god s o many crushes i swear. like two teenagers of the opposite gender really can’t not like each other apperantly

i miss read a line and really thought there was cannon sexism for me to do a whole ass rant about in the notes part of my analyzation but n o p e

but we do have classism, sexist stereotypes, and the fact that there’s been SO many characters who’ve spoken and ✨🌺far too many of them are white🌺✨

oh also: no ones disabled. which annoys me because their society is described as ‘euptopic’ almost implying that it’s something that makes people problematic, which,,,, no

ok a side note on the society, i understand that the story’s message (kinda) is that things that seem perfect are probably deeply flawed, but something tergan said stuck with me. on a page i can’t remember at the moment he says something like “[the black swan exists] in a society that doesn’t have rebels”, which it suck with me bc that’s boarderline dystopic if it’s not there already. it’s one thing for laws not to be broken, but when you think your society is so perfect despite it having obvious flaws and you think that no one rebels, then i really hate to break it to you, you have a massive rebellion about to occur; it’s just scented as foul under your resplendent nose.

please stop flirting. i get its part of teenagers being teens but i swear if i read “s/he realeased a breath” or “their heart fluttered” or literally ANYTHING like that god no.

yall. i missed dex. he actually has more role in this book than ‘you can gadget and we need one’ and oh boy i really missed him. he’s a BEAN and deserves better.

hole’s said everyone deserves better and i absolutely agree so we’re adding that note here.

if you do what i did and read this book out loud to one of your best friends who has no clue anything about this weird fandom and give fitz a really deep voice for no reason it’s comdy GOLD.

i really think i’m reading too much into this point but iggy seems,,,, symbolic to me?

like ok with humans, sophie didn’t ‘fit in’, right? like she grew up hearing things like “why can’t you be normal like your sister” (which i can do a whole other rant about how that will affect her for the rest of her life just a s k)

not to mention looking really different from her family and graduating high school at age twelve 

but you know who never judged her?

m a r t y

so anyway sophie meets this teal-eyed, movie star smiled wonder boy who takes away her entire knowledge of everything she’s known while taking away her family too

and it turns out even in a place of weirdos she still manages to be the exception to everything

and she doesn’t have the comfort to hear what people are really thinking about her anymore (which as i said before say the word and i’ll deadass write a whole speech about how everything she heard will completely fuck up every relationship she has) which unfortunately means that she grew used to confirming people didn’t like her but now she doesn’t have that

she has to adapt to this new space and feel like she’s always felt, like an outcast in a place that was accepting, but yet again, she the exception to everything

but about halfway through the book she starts to become more comfortable around grady and edaline and that’s when iggy comes in

she finds him while cleaning garbage, and grady compliments her. they have a bonding moment and it’s because of this t h i n g. and then sophie actually feels proud not only does she take up a room, but she did something

and her new parents are proud of her

so she finally feels like she BELONGS because she helped out at the place where she lives/they work

to me it seems iggy is kinda a manifesto of the world building and character development that happens in this book

i think the plot/character arc is fixated a little too much on how different sophie is. like, i get it, she’s exception to everything, but the plot really didn’t need her to be that quirky. yes, she’s different, but there’s a lot more to the plot and her character than how different she is.

also, i had to reread pages a lot bc i needed an exact paragraph number and,,,, it’s really paced like a fanfic

some questions i have about the society is:

it’s established that they use books, physical papers, etc., and the only thing i remember about trees is the speech alden gave her about how she doesn’t know the name of their most popular tree, and the fact that people become trees when they die. even then i don’t think the second one is in this book. never o n c e do i remember something about planting trees that aren’t dead elf’s, so do they feel the affects of deforestation and that jazz?? like if they use trees, will they run out of them? can they??? and do they use the coffins of elf’s for paper??

this is more of a rant than a question, but here it goes anyway. in foxfire, students have a testing system very similar to the one in america: a huge test at the end of the year determines the future of a student. that in of itself doesn’t sound too drastic, right? well,,,,, not necessarily. several studies have shown that tests in general, but especially these types, don’t work. despite how good or bad of a teacher i think my past and current teachers have been, every single one of them hates this system that we have in place. they know it’s an unfair assessment that does it’s damnist to make you fail, and they’re trying so hard to denounce it. however, that doesn’t happen at all in the lost cities. in fact, most of the teachers pride themselves on failing students. so if elf’s are in such an advanced society, why do tests still exist? especially in an environment where the consequences are far greater than just staying back a grade. 

so sophie’s figuring out that major problems exist in the world the elf’s created, right? i wonder if more society structured problems exist more than ‘oh bad people do things and the law justifies which is what’. like, as i’ve previously stated, there’s sexist stereotypes presented (like girls like dresses and guys don’t), but does sexism still exist? does racism exist? it’s established that poverty isn’t a thing because of the fund elf’s have at birth and their limited usage of money (which if you understand please explain bc i don’t really get how they buy stuff but still don’t use money) but if someone gets shipped off to exile, do they lose their money? is it possible for elf’s to starve to death because they can’t afford food? do they pay for food?? if they did starve who would they call? because someone on this website, who’s post i tried to find but i couldn’t so if y’all know what i’m talking about please link it, brought up a good point that elwin is a school physician, he shouldn’t be dealing with the near-death experiences sophie has, so who would they turn to? especially if they don’t have access to foxfire because they got exciled??

is therapy a thing in this world? sophie and dex could really benefit from it, yet mental health has only been brought up when someone went insane, which REALLY shows how little they think about it.

that perfectly transitions into my next point: sophie and dex’s trauma. i really don’t get the vibe that there was much thought going into their kidnapping, other than sophie needed something to trigger her inflecting ability and establish the black swan are on the good side, which really sucks because wow trauma doesn’t happen lightly. and the fact that it happened seems rushed to me, but i’ll come back to that. but anyway, their trauma doesn’t get developed that deeply in this book because it wasn’t given the space to. they were beaten, tortured, starved, gagged, and who even knows what else for t e n d a y s, only for them to find them again, repeat the process, but someone saves them and dumps them into an illegal city and they both nearly die from dehydration, coldness, and lack of concentration, and you’re telling me after three days of conscious of bed rest sophie wants to get her failing out of school over with? ma’am, it takes more time than that to adjust to THAT alone, not to mention the realization that “hey your entire life is fake because people genetically altered you to be their weapon in a war so much bigger than yourself” that was recently dumped on her. like,,,, you really expect me to think that three days is what made her feel prepared and CONFIDENT? no sir. i don’t buy it.

coming back to it being rushed: the book starts out slow and then really hits the ground running and doesn’t stop. so much more stuff happens in the second half of the book than the first and it never gets fully developed it feels like. in the first half sophie moves away but gets a new family and struggles a bit but adapts, fires maybe but hey don’t worry about it, dex hates fitz, fitz is ✨d r e a m y ✨ but our main girl doesn’t like him like that, right?, stina’s a bitch, and sophie is a quirky girl and telepath but can’t tell anyone. pretty basic stuff, not too plot intensive. the second half though: sophie almost fails her midterms but doesn’t, grady and elaine want to unadopt her (which that’s never really explained as to why they do that but ok) fires exist in san degio but they’re fine but they’re actually a rebel elf so..., sophie accidentally breaks a law but it was an accident so it’s fine, update on the fires: sophie burns herself trying to get the evidence that it’s a rebel elf and it works, she’s the moon lark and basically a weapon bc no one knows her well enough to evaluate her safety, sophie and dex get kidnapped but fitz can now transmit to her and she has two new abilities so it’s all good, trauma doesn’t exist except for nightmare you can fix with sedatives, sophie doesn’t fail out of school, and yayyy her family doesn’t want her remove their adoption. there’s probably a lot more that i missed, it’s just that’s a LOT of stuff crammed into a little bit further than the second half of the book that really could have been devolped or explore further instead of forcing into less than 244 pages, ya know?

fitz’s eyes are mentioned seven times, the first time being on page TWO of the novel

his smile is mentioned three times

alden says “no reason to worry” five times, he writes it once, and sophie points out he says it a lot so he chances it slightly to something like ‘don’t stress about it’ so i didn’t count those though i should have

speaking of alden, in this book he’s absolutely creepy, but something that stands out to me is how much he calls sophie girl. i didn’t count it, but he said “that’s a good girl” to sophie too many times for it to be normal especially when you consider how he doesn’t do it to anyone else.

i kinda forgot i was annotating for sophie’s anxious habit of pulling out her eyelashes so i got she did it twice, but i highly doubt that number

but i will keep adding to this when i actually do the words with my annotations.

#tw fire #tw kidnapping #tw cursing #tw gagging #tw beating #tw trauma #tw ​torture #tw vomit #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #fedex #fitz x dex #fitz x keefe #kefitz #dex #keefe #fitz #sophie foster #kotlc notes #iggy #we talked about iggy too much #black swan #keeper of the lost cities book one #seriously though: it was SO rushed at the end #like damn those last chapters really just said no ❤️ #like why did they need THAT much stuff #keeper of the lost cities memes #shannon messenger #i should probably get my own queue