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jadeee · 4 months

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Living with Nanami

I get the feeling there'll be a part 2... I've never done anything note motivated but maybe if this gets 100 notes I will 👀 -> update: read part 2 here!

He habitually wipes the bathroom countertop after using the sink. It's ingrained in him. We all saw that ep in season 1.

Definitely has a modern aesthetic which when paired with yours is very... interesting. He'll eye whatever knick knacks you have in silence, keeping his thoughts to himself.

Your feet felt warm on the multi-colored rug you placed in front of the couch. The walls were decorated with art you picked out, a few pops of green from your many plants here and there. Then there was the odd trinket you found from a thrift store years ago which stood upright on the coffee table. The longer he studied the color blocked sections of your bookshelf, the more his set mouth morphed into an impressed smile. Your hands brushed against each other until he took yours in his completely.

His pet peeve would definitely be little bits of trash scattered throughout the house. He's not passive aggressive but he won't lash out or lecture you. Just a little "Darling, I noticed you forget to throw things out sometimes. Why is that?"

Another pet peeve I see for him is walking around brushing your teeth or flossing 💀 if you walk down the hall flossing, he just imagines bits of plaque flying onto the walls silently. I'm not sure if he'd say anything about this because he thinks you may find it silly and he knows it's not a big deal but a piece of him shudders just a bit.

Always has pads, tampons, and pain relief meds in stock. He'll get the special snacks you like around that time of the month. Whenever it hits you, he's there with everything prepped and ready to go. I imagine he'll secretly want you to ask him for cuddles just so he can spoon you 💗 he rests his hands on your low abdomen while talking to you softly, his breath tickling your ear.

Side note: He doesn't get into the habit of carrying these things around until one day you two are out and you're period suddenly comes out then he goes on the hunt for a pad or tampon.

He's very serious about going to sleep at a certain time and is lowkey bothered when he sees you staying up late - if it's for work, okay fine but if you're up on your phone or watching TV, expect a "you should really go to bed". If you're being a brat and he's really serious, he will haul you off to bed. He wants to give you a peck on the cheek so you know he's not mad but he won't because he's feeling petty.

The place would look very clean and organized nearly all the time except for the weekends. I believe in this 100% because Friday night is when he finally let's loose just a bit. Maybe he had too much to drink when you two went out but you look so cute and you smell so good and my God, your lips... Saturday morning rolls around and so does he in the sheets. His arms wrap around you as he groans softly against your skin, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. He knows the place is a bit messy but would rather clean tomorrow since he wants to spend the day with you.

Cleaning is a shared effort. He's not doing all the work and neither are you. I love him and I know he's all for taking care of you but I feel like realistically, this would truly be a shared task. Doing dishes can suck and so can cleaning the bathroom but it's enjoyable when you're playing your music. When he hauls the laundry off to the washing machine, he can't help but look in your direction and smile at the private show you're putting on for yourself.

No matter who cooks, dishes are typically done together. I think it'd become a tradition to bake on Saturdays. Ohh some cake with wine in the afternoon? You two sitting on the porch just giggling and talking about nothing and everything inbetween. Then when golden hours hits and the sun just casts that heavenly glow on you.

Kento leans back with a soft grin on his face.

"What are you smiling at?" you block the sun from your face.

"My light, my life."

Heat filled your cheeks as you dropped your head and crossed your legs.

Kento chuckled, "Did I make you nervous?"

"No." you snicker then glance up at him.

He filled your empty glass, "You're a better baker than you are a liar."

You grinned then looked off into the sunset to hide your embarrassment but it only highlighted the things Nanami loved about you.

He doesn't go to sleep mad or upset. He doesn't have the space for it or the time or the energy. Your relationship isn't perfect but it's worth fighting for and he makes sure to do that whenever you two have a fight. If you're both home that night, he won't invade your space but he'll make sure to let you know he cares in some way. Say you fall asleep on the couch? You're going to wake up in the bed and wonder how he ended up on the couch instead. If you haven't eaten, he'll bring you a small snack without saying anything.

This is really random but the security would honestly be multi-layered. Definitely a self insert bc home invasions TERRIFY ME 😭 he'd invest in a good alarm system and have the security cameras outside - yes, cameras to cover the front and back door.

Hmm, what else? Oh you'd have house shoes by the door. I like to think someone bought you two matching ones as a wedding gift or couple themed - like his and hers.

Fun fact: Sharing a bed with you the first night was weird for him. He didn't feel uncomfortable but he didn't feel comfortable either. He just laid there like a man in a coffin.

"Nanami?"

"Hm?" he turned his head to glance at you in the dark.

"Are you ok?"

"... I'm fine, why do you ask?"

The sound of you moving around made his ears turn pink and he was grateful for the dark for once. "You just seem so," he tried not to grunt when you poked his side "stiff."

"Hm, it's really nothing. You should go to sleep."

More rustling he wished would go away. Each second caused a slow heat to creep from his feet to his face.

"Can I hold you?"

He turned his head again then glanced up at the black ceiling. A sigh escaped his lips as he rolled over. Your limbs found each other in the dark and you rested your head near his. His chest deflated of anxiety then.

"Is this better? Do you feel comfortable?"

The sudden feel of lips against your forehead made you smile.

"Yes," he said softly then held you tight until he fell asleep.

Author's Note: I only saw him as the husband while writing this. You're already married in this headcanon.

#divider by cafekitsune #madebyjade #nanami kento #kento nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #kento nanami #jjk x reader #jjk #jjk nanami kento x reader #jjk nanami #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu nanami #jujutsu kaisen

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nothankyoudear · 9 months

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London book shop recommendations?

Summary: A.Z. Fell and Co. is recommended as a local London bookshop on a Reddit post. Chaos ensues when someone actually takes the recommendation and goes there, only to find that: 1. They don't get to buy books 2. The gentle bookshop owner apparently owns a giant python And 3. The bookshop owner is 100% in love with his best friend with the sunglasses OR Ineffable Husbands told through Reddit posts.

stupid little fic i wrote. thought it'd be funny to post on tumblr bc its formatted like reddit... social mediaception?

anyways, also on my ao3, nothankyoudear.

Enjoy!

r/books

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

London book shop recommendations?

Hi everyone! Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but I just moved to London and I'd like to support some of the more local book shops that are around here! Any good suggestions?

EDIT: Thank you for all the suggestions! I will definitely be checking them out :)

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buttscotchzzz · 2 yrs. ago Are you looking to actually take home the books?

SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago yes... I think that's the purpose of bookshops?

buttscotchzzz · 2 yrs. ago Yes, obviously, sorry. I just live close to this book store called A.Z. Fell & Co, and it's the loveliest place. It's very cosy and the collection of books there is honestly unbelievable (I think there are some texts dating back to the 16th century? Not sure why those are in a book shop instead of a museum). The owner is a lovely man too, but he refuses to sell his books. Not sure why.

Yeah so, for looking around and sitting?? Fantastic place. Actually purchasing books?? Probably not so much.

SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago No apology needed, sorry if I came off too harsh :) Sounds wonderfully strange!! I'll make sure to check it out (even if I won't get to take any of the books back home lol)

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r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

Strange soho bookshop that doesn't sell books?

Hello! I've recently been recommended this bookshop called "A.Z. Fell & Co" in Soho. It's quite nice but also... Kinda weird? Not sure how to describe it. So I know it might be quite niche, but I just wanted to know if anyone knows anything about it?

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DollieDollie · 2 yrs. ago Lived in Soho all my life. The shop is kinda infamous with the locals because nobody knows what the hell is going on with it. Weird as hell opening and closing hours too.

Miriiriram · 2 yrs. ago I live in Covent Garden and I've also heard some stuff about the bookshop. Never been able to figure out how the man keeps his shop open in central Soho since there's no way he's turning a profit - It's been here for as long as I can remember though.

SadLittleJay OP · 2 yrs. ago Huh, how weird. Well, the shop owner seems nice so I'll keep digging!

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r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 2 years ago

Update on strange soho bookshop that doesn't sell books

Hi everyone! Me again. Not sure if anyone is still keeping up, but I've had a few more trips to "A.Z. Fell & Co" and here are my experiences:

- I've had some people mention weird opening and closing hours, and from what I can tell that is 100% true. The sign at the front door almost melted my brain, but I've figured out the timings pretty good by now.

- The books kept there are very very strange. From what I can tell, most of them are published before the 1930s, and I swear I've seen some ancient texts around... I did find this one book with some pictures of earth and space though, so that's pretty cool.

- Nearly no one comes into the shop! Foot traffic outside is crazy, but every time I've been inside, I'm always the only one there. I understand that bookshops aren't the most interesting things around, but it's still a shop in the smack dab middle of Soho, so the pure emptiness of it is a little weird (take a shot every time I say weird or strange in this post lol)

- Mr Fell, the shop owner, is very very lovely!! There was this one time when I just sat and read for what must be hours, and he didn't even bat an eye - even offered me tea! We sat down, had a little chat about Jane Austen, and I could really tell that he is really passionate about his books - couldn't stop smiling and everything.

He did mumble something weird about Jane Austen being a spy, however, so still quite a weird fellow.

- Mr Fell still doesn't sell books. I asked him the first time I came into the store for some books and he said no, but I just assumed it was maybe because I didn't know him well enough? Anyways I asked him again and he just stared at me like I just asked to take his firstborn. So no luck on that yet.

- I think Mr Fell has a partner but I'm not quite sure about it. There's this man called Crowley that seems to be the only other person that comes into the bookshop, and he's got what is possibly the coolest sense of fashion in the world - I'm talking full two-piece suit, sunglasses on indoors, and bright red hair. Not ginger hair, RED hair.

Mr Fell calls Crowley "My dear" and Crowley calls him "Angel". They act like an old married couple, bickering and everything, but I really don't wanna assume so...

That's pretty much all I can think of off the top of my head, I think. I'll keep you guys updated (if anyone is still reading lol) if I find something new!

PS. unrelated but there's this coffee shop that's really nice - "Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death", just across the street from the bookshop. Really good coffee if anyone is looking for a drink!

EDIT: Okay well, this post blew up more than I expected. Good to see that other people are also strangely obsessed with this little bookshop lol! Thanks for the awards and I'll definitely keep you guys updated!!!

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r/snakes

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 year ago

Does anyone know what this snake is?

Found this GIANT snake on the floor of a bookshop!!! Does anyone know the species or anything??

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SSssssBoys· 1 yr. agoOh my god that thing is huge! You found it on the floor of a BOOKSHOP?

SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago Yes!!! Crazy right?? I think it must've snuck in or smth because I'm a regular at the shop and I've never seen it before. Is it venomous????

liveweire837· 1 yr. ago Purely based on the size it has to be a ball python or an anaconda - Can't really tell from the photo quality. Neither are venomous but are still dangerous. Call animal control ASAP.

SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago Sorry for the quality - I was a little busy screaming lol. But the store owner just came out and told me that it's apparently his pet? I knew some people keep snakes for pets but I've never seen them in real life, so huge too! Anyways thank you for the advice! :D ---------------

r/London

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 year ago

Update on "A.Z. Fell & Co"

Hello, I'm back with some more news!

- First news: Mr Fell has given me his first name! I asked him what A. Z. stood for, and he thought for a while like he doesn't know his first name? Anyways his name is Azira, which I think is quite a cool name.

I tried looking him up on Google but nothing came up, so I tried asking him for his middle name and he got this weirdly panicked look on his face. I didn't push it further because he was turning a little red trying to think.

- Mr Fell owns a giant snake. I think he's some sort of Python? Not quite sure about it yet. His name is Crawly (ha, like Crowley) and I found him on the floor one morning - gave me the fright of my life! Anyways, he's cute but he has this weirdly human look in his eyes sometimes. He also really likes curling himself next to or just on Mr Fell - didn't know snakes could be clingy lol. Sometimes I feel like I'm intruding on the two of them, which is kinda crazy because one of them is literally a snake.

- Crowley is still coming into the shop fairly often, and he's still just as intimidating as ever. He does, however, do this thing where he kinda melts when he talks to Mr Fell. Kinda hard to explain but you can really tell the difference in his body language. I can't see his eyes because of the sunglasses, but I swear they go soft and everything.

Maybe they're dating, maybe they're not. All I know is that when I ask Mr Fell about Crowley, he talks about him like how he talks about Jane Austen books.

- I've finally managed to lend (heavy focus on the word LEND) a book!! Returned in perfect condition :)

That's all I have for now! Will continue to update if anything else interesting comes up.

EDIT 1: Some people didn't believe in the whole snake shenanigan, which I completely understand (sounds ridiculous to myself too), but I've attached a picture of Crawly just as proof. You can see him curled up next to Mr Fell, which I still think is pretty cute.

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EDIT 2: I've asked Mr Fell (in a very awkward conversation), and Crowley is in fact not his partner. I know people have been debating in the comments but Mr Fell says they're just best friends. Will investigate further on the matter.

EDIT 3: I've asked Mr Fell and Crowley if they mind me posting about them, and I am proud to say that I now have the official go ahead from the both of them to post updates. I've also made a subreddit since I feel bad spamming r/London with nothing but A.Z. Fell & Co content lol. I'll be posting future updates at r/AZFellAndCo :)

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PollyPirate · 1 yr. agoEveryone in agreement that there's definitely some HEAVY pining going on between Mr Fell and Crowley say aye

WonderfulWorld· 1 yr. ago aye

cooliosoolio23 · 1 yr. ago AYE

nothankyou845 · 1 yr. ago aye > 56 more replies

peanutbutternnut · 1 yr. ago a bookseller named azira w/ a fucking python sounds like a video game character. badass as hell

SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago He's actually kind of the opposite of badass - dresses like he just stepped out of the Victorian era. He's got a bowtie and everything!

peanutbutternnut · 1 yr. ago even MORE badass

Lilypadwfrog · 1 yr. ago wait so mr fell is dressed like a gentleman from the victorian era, and crowley is dressed like an 80s fashion icon??? literally the most blatant example of opposites attract i've ever seen. next thing i know you'll be telling me that they have contrasting colour palettes LMAO SadLittleJay OP · 1 yr. ago You're not gonna believe this lol

HmmmmMMmM· 1 yr. ago "He talks about him like how he talks about Jane Austen books." BRO ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/Mimimeow 1 year ago

Has anyone actually visited A. Z. Fell & Co. ?

Basically just the title. I keep seeing posts about people trying to visit the store but always getting 'interrupted' by one thing or another. Has anyone actually managed to visit the place other than SadLittleJay?

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mirandapanda · 1 yr ago I was one of the people who got 'interrupted' on their way there. I found a little kitten on the side of the road and just couldn't leave her there, so I took her to the vet instead. Not too fussed about it though, since now it helped me meet the absolute love of my life, Luna.

[Link]

Mimimeow OP · 1 yr ago oh my god SHE'S SO CUTE 😭 Maybe I'll try visiting the bookshop so I can get a cat

Edit: Holy fucking shit ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/AnthonyJC 9 months ago

Why do people think they're in love It's all people are talking about. Can someone explain this.

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Sort By: Best MillieRockers96· 9 mo ago well i mean,,, mr fell talks about crowley like he talks about books (which i think r basically his life and soul), and from the last update we got crowley was literally giving mr fell houseplants in what i can only say is domestic hell. if u see some videos of them u can also see that they look at each other like the other one's the sun when the other not watching, so yeah we're pretty sure they're in love just INCREDIBLY oblivious

Lilypadwfrog ·9 mo ago 100% in love. also talking about the whole "he talks about crowley like he talks about books", its lowkey crazy how much mr fell talks about crowley. like that man NEVER stops i think. but honestly just give the pinned post a look and you'll get it.

AnthonyJC OP· 9 mo ago Oh ---------------

r/AskReddit

Posted by u/porlrlrlr 2 months ago What are some of the weirdest things that you've seen on reddit?

Very broad and basic question, but I'm bored and need temporary fulfilment

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yeahsolikeuhh · 2 mo ago A while back there was this bookshop that blew up because of a reddit post. Apparently the shop's been around for three hundred years or something, and apparently had shit like the first edition of the Great Gatsby and stuff trailing back to the 16th century or something - But that's not even the weird part.

People tried to visit the bookshop because of the popularity obviously, but every time they try, stuff just happens at random and it never happens. Everyone knows the bookshop is there, but no one except OP for that first reddit post has ever actually managed to get in. Sometimes they find a stray cat and get distracted, sometimes a giant storm just instantaneously starts, but literally ZERO people have gotten into that book shop except for OP.

The bookshop owner is called AZIRA (not fucking kidding), with a pet python (also not fucking kidding), who is also apparently dressed like he came out of the Victorian era (still not fucking kidding). Now I'm not saying he's a wizard, but I'm pretty damn sure he's a fucking wizard.

Also apparently he's also in love with his best friend and there's this huge pining thing happening the last time I checked, but I think OP stopped updating a while back so yeah.

Cauliflourpanfried· 2 mo ago Holy shit I completely forgot about that. Genuinely the weirdest shit. Hope they finally got their shit sorted and at least kissed or smth tho. ---------------

r/IAmA

Posted by u/MrAziraFell 6 days ago

I am Azira Fell, the owner of A.Z. Fell & Co. A sk Me Anything!

Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing well. I am Azira Fell and I happen to own A.Z. Fell & Co. I've recently been informed of just how popular my bookshop has become, so here I am! Here is a picture of me, Crawly, and this sign I made for proof.

I'm still not very good at technology, so I truly do apologise for the slow responses. I will try my best :)

- AZF

Edit: Thank you for all your questions! As much as I'd love to just sit and chat with all of you, I still have the calls of thousands of wonderful books to tend to. I hope you all have a lovely day :)

- AZF

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monsteriaLoe· 6 days ago Are you aware of the weird phenomenon where, when someone tries to come to your shop, they always seem to get distracted or pulled away by another thing? And, being completely honest, were you involved in any of these? I understand the question sounds silly, but it's just so strange that I have to ask.

MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago Thank you for the question! And it's not silly at all. I actually was not aware of this until today! And if I had the ability to summon stray cats at will, my bookshop would already be overwhelmed with kittens.

I suppose it must just simply be some sort of magic, or maybe even a miracle ;) - AZF

PollyPirate · 6 days ago Are you and Crowley finally together???? (feel free to not answer if it really is too personal or anything like that)

MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago Hello, Polly! Thank you for being so considerate. In short, yes we are together now. Now looking back on it, I suppose it was a little silly that we waited that long to be together. Well, that's all over now, and Crowley and I are as happy as ever - AZF

PollyPirate· 6 days ago OMG

JooolyRancher· 6 days ago Congratulations! What made you guys take the last step, if I may ask?

MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago Well, it's actually quite funny since apparently Crowley had found the subreddit (I believe that is what it's called) that Jay had made while looking for the bookshop on the Internet, saw the posts that all of you made about us being obliviously in love with the other, and finally decided to tell me how he truly felt. So, if I have to be honest, it was all of you that helped us take the last step, and I am very grateful for that :) - AZF

cooliosoolio23· 6 days ago ok well now im crying

wormieboyyyyyy · 6 days ago Why don't you sell your books? Also do you have a favourite? (a favourite book I mean) MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago Well those two questions actually are quite interlinked, if I do say so myself. My answer to the first is because I simply love them all too much, and can't bear to part with them. My answer to the second is also I simply love them all too much, so I cannot pick just one. I do, however, especially adore the work of Terry Pratchett. - AZF

wormieboyyyyyy · 6 days ago Ain't that the truth. Have you ever thought of selling a book, tho? Like ever? You do run a bookshop.

MrAziraFell OP · 6 days ago Well.... I suppose I could sell just one. - AZF ---------------

r/AZFellAndCo

Posted by u/SadLittleJay 1 day ago

Oh my god

MR FELL SOLD ME A BOOK!!!!!!!

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sakuraryomen01 · 1 year

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Valentino.. /Sukuna Ryomen x Female Reader/ .o3

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, getting ignored by childhood crush (*gasp*)

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 1.397k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 (will be updated..)

a/n:: I hope I can get the next chapter out soon, and I hope you enjoy this one! The next one is hopefully going to have more than just up to 1k words ><

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy~

. . .

After you had seen Sukuna for yourself just a few weeks ago, you heart still aches with confusion.

Didn’t he miss you after years of being apart?

Whatever the reason, Sukuna showed no signs of trying to explain himself. Removing himself from the room whenever class ended, ignoring all the women that were desperately trying to make their way into his path. It didn’t bother you much, other than the burn of your old memories.

Sukuna was so different from his childhood. What happened?

“And with that,” Toji’s cool voice suddenly snapped into your thoughts, making you blink and drop your pen. You were in the middle of class, thinking about your small-world problems. Could you be any more pathetic?

“I’ll excuse you. But make sure to have your presentations and your names on them before showing me anything. I’m sick of group projects without both of your names.”

Oh right, group projects.

You normally didn’t need a partner, given that the uneven number of students in the class left you with no one. Toji, being a rather relaxed teacher, just handed out the F’s that were needed for the shitty projects and even sometimes handed out very low D’s to the three chicks that normally hovered around in the back when they presented.

After about ten minutes, the bell for the end of class rang and you stood up, your eyes making their way over to Sukuna once again as he stood and grabbed his things. It was a note day, so he had to put in a few things, but his phone buzzed as someone sent him a text.

You wondered who it was, but quickly grabbed your things and headed down to intercept Sukuna’s path. Though he didn’t care, he picked up his phone and hastily sent something to the other person and stuffed his phone into his pocket. But before he could walk away, your body blocked him, and a grimace instantly clouded his features.

“Yo,” You said, cringing at the small greeting and sighing. “Wh-What’s up..? D-Dude..?”

Note one: People skills need fixing.

“Yo,” Sukuna mimicked, a smirk on his annoyed face as he picked his bag up. “Are you done? I got Computers next.”

“I want to talk to you.”

He let out a sigh, pushing past you as he felt the teacher’s eyes bore into the side of his head. Walking towards the door, he looked back at you and scoffed. “For a smart bitch, you should get the hint.”

You blinked a few times, watching him leave as students poured out behind him.

What had gone wrong for him? Wasn’t he proud to have achieved his goals of getting into a top-graded school? Didn’t he want to talk to you at all? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to catch up, so why didn’t he want anything to do with you?

With a huff, you followed. Eventually finding Sukuna in a crowd and tugged on his arm. “Sukuna!”

“Let me go,” He snapped back, his voice dark as he turned his red eyes towards you again. “I’m not talking to you.”

“Then tell me why!” You said, your cheeks burning as the attention of some passerby students looked over towards you and Sukuna. “Just tell me, so I know. Please.”

Sukuna stared at you, the steady breath coming through his nose being the only noise you heard past the squeaking of shoes and then chatter of voices.

There were little to no one caring about the small argument that was going on between you and him, but there wasn’t any hesitation when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards one of the empty classrooms that no one really frequented unless they wanted to get busted with a cigarette on campus.

“Agh! Hey!"

"Shut up."

The stern growl in his tone made you shut up, sighing with annoyance as he pulled you towards the empty classroom. Slamming the door once you were both inside, Sukuna pushed you away from him and released his hold on your wrist, a firm scowl settling on his features.

"Since you won't leave me alone," He muttered, pressing his back against the door, locking the door with an echoing click. "I'll just tell you before I get a fucking restraining order on you."

You sighed, "That's all I want. Just tell me."

Sukuna stayed quiet for a moment, looking you over with a grimace as if he hated your very existence. A deep rooted anger with you was what he had behind his glare and his distance, making sure that you didn't step closer. He didn't want, or need you, anymore.

No matter how pissed off or scared he was, he couldn't let it show.

"You wanna know that badly?"

You nodded, making his annoyance worse.

You should've guessed by now, or did you get dumber while he was away? "Fine. Sit."

While the air in the room got tense and thick, you sat at one of the desks and crossed your legs, arms crossed and staring at your former best friend. His eyes boring into yours with anger, clear and unchecked.

Does he plan on killing you right now?

"The reason I want nothing to do with you," Sukuna started, removing himself from his spot on the door and stepping towards you. The sounds of his books and pencils moving around in his bag make you hold your breath. "Is because you left me with nothing."

"What..?" Your breath hitched as Sukuna's fist slammed against the creaky old desk top, silence catching you once again in its tight embrace. His face was so close you could smell the minty concoction of his toothpaste and the cinnamon taste of his gum.

"No calls, no texts. Not even a letter with your name or mine on it," Sukuna answered, his jaw tight and his eyes wide with frustration. "You didn't try reaching out to me, not even asking how I was, or how Yuji felt after you left me alone. My deadbeat father caused nothing but pain and you weren't there to help me. Thankfully, he drank himself to the grave so I don't have to hear him screeching profanities in the middle of the night at some whore."

You were still in your seat, looking up at Sukuna with a great deal of sadness. Abandoned him? That what he thought you had done?

No.. it's what you did.

He was right when he said you didn't try to reach out, to help him in one of his darkest hours. No wonder he hated you and wanted nothing to do with you, you weren't there for him even though he was there for you since day one.

"You get it now." Sukuna huffed, his voice laced with pure rage. "Now, fuck off, Y/n. If I want to talk to you, I will."

Sukuna stood his breath heavy as he let out a sigh, his V-cut black sweater hanging loose from his shoulders and body. His tie looked disheveled and loose, much like his belt and pants. From what you could tell, he looked like your average artsy college kid, though what you felt deep inside your chest told you different.

The kid you remember from almost a decade ago, wasn't the Sukuna that was standing before you. He was different, in a weirdly intoxicating way.

Why was that?

"Okay," You mumbled, squirming in your spot as the male scoffed, turning to leave.

"I'll see you later then, in Toji's class." Sukuna commented, unlocking the door and exiting. His mind focused back on his classes as he walked down the hall, hearing the door from the classroom open again as you left too.

From where you stood in Sukuna's circle, you considered going after him but chose better. You walked in the opposite direction, towards the direction to your next class.

With all the information you learned today, you decided that you would listen and stay away.

Wait for him to come to you, to be patient.

That was until Toji called you both over to his desk later on that nest day and sighed with a bit more annoyance than normal. His green eyes searching you both while he tapped his red inked pen with a grimace.

"So, Y/n. When do you plan on giving Mr. Ryomen here his first lesson?"

a/n: kjksjskjs finally chapter 3 has been posted! Hopefully you being Sukuna's tutor will get you closer to him, hmm? Maybe we'll get to know the older Sukuna and remember a few things from the past?

Chapter Song Theme: —Go Down Deh - Spice (ft. Sean Paul, Shaggy [Slowed] )

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd, @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9

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sweaterkittensahoy · 3 months

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Our apartment is through a management company. It's usually fine. The last several months, we've had issues with them 1) actually sending out maintenance, and 2) not fixing our fucking floor.

Our floor was put in during the Fall of 2022 after the fucking flood of June 2022. For the entire summer, we walked around on the original concrete floor of our renovated 100-year-old basement apartment.

Management company swore the problem was that the property owner was dragging his feet.

I'd met the property owner several times as he'd come to inspect the damage and understand what he needed to do as owner, since it would be his insurance covering things. I thought he was an asshole.

The new floor went in. We moved home. A few weeks later, I noticed a space between the boards in the kitchen. I debated calling the management company, then went, "I'm in no fucking mood" and threw a rug over it.

I'm not a professional, but I know bits and pieces of home shit. I figured, with the weather cooling, the vinyl boards were shifting a bit, and it'd either stay the same or just slip back together at some point.

And then the rest of the floor started buckling.

I put a maintenance request in. A guy came out, took one look at the floor, and went, "Oh, yeah, I know what's happening." He took photos. He pushed back together what boards he could, and he left.

Nothing for about a week, then a call. The owner wants to come out and look. I sighed and agreed. He came out and brought along his wife, the maintenance guy who'd come before, and our property management contact.

He was NOT PLEASED. His wife's job that day, very obviously to me, was to get my real impression of the management company while the owner asked some questions about why it was taking a week to even update me on next steps?

I told the wife, "We've never had a real problem with maintenance. Stuff's always gotten fixed."

"Have you needed it often?" she asked.

"Nope," I said because it was true.

When the whole apartment was getting torn up after the flood, the demo guy was 1) great and 2) informed me that all the finishes in the apartment were commonly used but also the high-end version. Yeah, they were all particle board and vinyl and what have you. But they were the top-notch versions of everything. I remembered thinking, "Wow, the dude who renovated this place gave a real shit."

We have not heard word one from anyone at the management company about our floor since around October. We have heard from the owner and his wife on a few occasions, calling to see if the next step of the plans had happened. Which is how I found out there were plans. Our contact at the management company (with 16 years experience, something she mentioned when she sent out her intro email at her hiring) had not given me any information.

A couple of weeks ago, our kitchen turned into a tiny swamp. There was water coming up through the fucked up floorboards. A pipe had frozen upstairs a couple of days before. There were four inches of glaze ice over everything.

We called the management company. We got an email back: "We are confirming with the owner how he wants to proceed."

I started cursing the owner's name up and down.

And then he showed up that night. In the ice and the snow. With it pouring sleet (literally pouring sleet). I thought he was being a control freak.

He looked at things, said, "I'll have to turn the water off." And then went upstairs to check on things there. He came back a few minutes later, needing to try and find the shut off. We couldn't locate it down here, either. He shut it off at the street, then took Sean out and showed him how to use the tool to turn it on and off.

"It's a very slow leak," he told us. "If you don't mind mopping up water when it comes up, you can turn the water on for short periods of time."

Two days with no water. The ice continued not to melt. I fell on the dog walk and slid into the side of a car (nothing serious). The owner showed up again when the roads were still barely passable. He had the leak fixed and the water back in by the end of the day. He apologized for the delay. He left the wall open so things could dry, and came back the next day to check things again.

He started to grow on me. He knows his shit. He works quietly. He tries to be as unobtrusive as possible. I sent my regards to his wife, for which he thanked me.

During these few days, I'm getting sporadic emails from the management company basically rehashing everything that had happened that day. Even though I'd heard him call them and explain things to them within half an hour of showing up each day.

So, they were in the loop.

And, yes, so were we.

But there's a way to do these things.

And acting like it's all brand new information to you when the email gets to me at six, after he's left again after apologizing for getting some mud on the floor because he's been in and out not only fixing the leak but also beating the shit out of the four inches of glaze ice with a shovel so he can clear the sidewalk for us. Which is one of those technical requirements that I don't expect of any owner or management company when it's below freezing multiple days in a row in a city where that does not happen regularly. Like, the official city policy during the weather was "please stay the fuck inside."

The contractors came to put the wall back together. The owner showed up to properly introduce them, then left them to it. They did good work as far as I could tell.

I've heard nothing from the management company for several days, and I continue to be very unimpressed by their current actions. Which is just additional unimpressed feelings since October when I got a call from the wife saying, "Did the contractor come out to measure?"

"Measure?"

"For the replacement floor."

"No, Ma'am," I said, not knowing until this phone call that a contractor had even been signed. "Last I heard anything was when the inspector came out."

"Did the company contact you about them?"

"Yes, but then the inspector didn't show the day he was supposed to, and we didn't hear why. He did show up a couple of days later."

The kind of pause you only get from a woman who knows how to use her powers for politeness, smoothing ruffled feathers, and fucking murdering someone. "I see. Okay. Thank you."

"I've worked on a lot of floors," the contractor told me yesterday as he wiped down all the places drywall dust and paste had gotten (everywhere; including the bottom of Bean's foot I discovered this morning). "You're definitely gonna need new floor where the leak was."

"Oh, yeah," I said, with a wave. "We need the whole thing replaced, actually. It's in work."

"Yeah, I noticed it was bubbling," the contractor says. "Not surprising. This is the cheapest vinyl floor you can get."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I've worked with the owner for years. I'm surprised he approved this."

About a week after the wife last called me, we got a letter in the mail from the owner. It read, in part:

...please copy us in all emails to the management company. We want to be fully aware when issues arise so they can be handled as quickly as possible...

Given all current evidence, I am beginning to suspect the problem was NOT the owner but the management company. As I have never worked in property management, I don't know who decides things like which flooring. However, having watched the owner over this last couple of weeks, I suspect the management company picked the flooring and the contractor to do it and the "dragging on" issue was the owner pushing for better quality.

I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that the owner was here today to paint the repaired wall and a strip of ceiling that has gone unfixed by the management company since before we told them the floor news.

I have been beyond happy with the speed of things with the owner in charge of repairs, and I've come to appreciate his dedication to keeping our place in good kit. He is proud of this place and wants it to show. He wants high-quality and good craftsmanship.

He also ended up not painting because the ceiling repair doesn't have the right texture when the lights are off. He is coming back tomorrow morning with the contractor so it gets done to his liking. "It can be difficult to match the texture of sheet rock," he told me. Having watched him work these past couple of weeks, I know he wants it done to a high standard that I appreciate as the tenant.

On the other hand. What an asshole.

#story time #long post #the repair saga

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skippyv20 · 8 months

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Hi Skippy! I was thinking this morning about how blessed this entire community is to have you as our fearless leader. I’ve followed you for years, and have often sought your advice and counsel on many very personal issues. You never fail to come through with wisdom, empathy, and kindness. So thank you for being you and shining some much-needed light onto this world.

I wanted to give you a long-overdue update. I am the attorney anon who wrote last year about mental health, job, and family struggles, including a challenging marriage, a child with special needs, and a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder after suffering 30 years with wrong diagnoses and medication.

First the good news: my moods have stabalized on a new cocktail of meds, and I haven't had a severe depressive episode for almost a year! My mania is better too, but I do have some uncomfortable side effects. I am on lithium, and I worry about kidney issues and/or developing diabetes, which are two possible side effects.

Second bit of good news - I'm now working back at my old organization. If you told me that this time last year, I'd never have believed you. I was convinced my days as an atty were over because of my mental health issues. I considered filing for disability. The role is one I haven't held in 8 years, I had moved onto a prestigious position in that org before jumping ship to another org for a promotion. So it's a bit humbling to be back in this role, but I'm grateful to be here. I was stuck in a nightmare at my last job, which included at the end fighting disability discrimination.

Bad news: I still worry about my son, who is now 7, and doesn't seem to be where he needs to be. I've done everything for him, 4-5 different therapies a week since his premature birth. He has a physical disability and, while he is very smart and can keep up with his class, he just seems different than other boys his age.

My husband is incapable of providing emotional support, and I do think sometimes I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship. I am not happy, he is not happy, but I'm so afraid to cut the cord. My brother is going through a divorce and I know if I do too it'll cause my elderly parents even more distress. But this is a guy who - get this - snapped at waiters who came to the table carrying (free) cake to sing happy birthday a few weeks ago. It was crazy and scary, and i just don't want to deal with a person like this anymore. I'm 42 now, not in my mid-30s like when you told me to be strong and leave him years ago...is it too late? I see signs of aging when I look in the mirror and I've gained some weight. I'm worried I've lost all of my appeal and don't want to be alone. My husband is very responsible and does do a lot of things around the house and for our son. If he didn't, it'd be a no brainer to divorce, but maybe it's worth salvaging for the help with things I can't always get to because of my issues? Not to mention our son would be crushed.

Hi! So nice to hear from you. Thank you for such kind words, but I must say…I am NOT a leader. I am just here struggling along with everyone else. We get through one day at a time, together! Nice to know some things have changed. That is so wonderful your meds are working so well. Don’t spend time worrying about the side effects. If you focus on those you are robbing yourself of joy. If you just keep going for your scheduled appts with your doctor, he will be watching for you.

I understand what you mean about being in one job and going back to another. I was working as a secretary in the government. I was chosen to create a new intake position, that was non existent. It was a six month term. At the end of the six months, I was back as a secretary being supervised again, by the same woman I had been supervising for six months. Everyone thought it was so strange. I didn’t though. I look at things differently I guess. A job is a job, and whatever it is, as long as you know you are doing the best you can….it doesn’t matter what the job is. You just take it one day at a time. After all, a job is not your whole life…right?

Children are strange little things. They do things at their own rate. He sounds like he is doing very well, he is keeping up! Great job! Seems different than other boys? That is ok…your child is who he is….it’s not a contest. Different is ok. My daughter was different as a child, an old soul. She is different now as she is bipolar. There are quirks….makes life interesting…..embrace him, just as he is….

I will always advise anyone who is being emotionally or physically abused to leave. You say you aren’t happy, and he isn’t happy? Perhaps a marriage counsellor? People get too comfy in their lives, and don’t want to change things. No one likes the unknown future. You mention your parents, and your son being distressed? Timing is always a problem…when is the best time? You say your husband is a great help…see to me…there must still be something there, I couldn’t find one good reason to stay with my ex, and believe me…he did all the cooking, he cleaned like no other, he did everything….that was one of the biggest problems for me…I couldn’t do anything, he told me that all the time.

Bipolar people can see things differently. They can hear things said one way only….it will be negative. It takes time, love and patience to communicate with someone who is bipolar. People don’t understand that unless you tell them. I have had to learn to speak to my daughter differently. Maybe you need to explain that to your husband. If you want to save this marriage, it will take work on both sides. Communication is everything. I know some think being bipolar one just needs meds….no…not true. It’s much more involved than that.

Anyways, I am so proud of you! You sound so much better. I really, really appreciate you dropping by, so nice to hear from you. You are in my prayers. I send love and hugs….and…thank YOU for staying with me!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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nikki-tine · 2 months

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So it's come to my attention that despite the page I have set up within the desktop version of my blog, I don't have a mobile version of an introduction post here. Oops! This one's newly written, too, in a different format than the other.

So, that being said - Hello!

I am Nikki/Niko (Whichever you prefer!) and I am a 27-year old Genderfluid artist person (My birthday is on January 9th!). I don't think there's too much to be said here, but I can and will say with confidence that this blog has been, especially in the last few or so years built up to be a catch-all for whatever I deem good to reblog or post (All of which typically related to fluff stuff, feel-good vibes or something that I may feel strongly about).

This place is, and always will be a safe space for a) People with disabilities (I am autistic, have ADD and Bipolar as well as Anxiety) and b) LGBTQ+-identifying people (I am, as mentioned before Genderfluid, and I'm Pansexual Panromantic!).

If a reblog or post makes you uncomfortable, then I will happily delete it if asked.

I make it a point to keep these posts SFW especially nowadays - however, I can't quite vouch for possibly the oldest of my posts (as I've been here since the early 2010s along with some ol' dumb teen thoughts involved and it'd take forever to sort absolutely everything out from over a decade ago at this point). I'm pretty sure that I've removed most of the NSFW stuff already from those years ago, but if I missed something then I don't mind deleting it as long as you let me know first (I'm incredibly disorganized and would appreciate a nudge in the right direction).

With these details out of the way - I am an artist that dabbles in various fandoms with no real sense of rhyme or reason outside of either hyperfixated interest or otherwise with the intent to update old ideas and refresh them into new ones. Like most artists on the internet, I ask that you do not repost without credit, trace and/or copy my work. I'm quite literally living paycheck by paycheck with my family right now. You CAN however use my artwork as a reference or as inspiration for your own work - If you do, lemme know! I'd love to see the result!

Here's a vague list of fandoms I dabble in (though my post history doesn't quite show that as I tend to leave most of my stuff to posting on Discord instead):

Pokemon (I've been a part of this one almost my entire life lol)

Sonic the Hedgehog (Another fandom I've been in for a grand majority of my life! I'm more of a casual fan as I haven't made much art recently, but I still absolutely love looking at what others come up with for OCs and stuff.)

Undertale (ESPECIALLY AU-centric)

Digimon (Passionate about this one specifically - I have a project I've been working with under this fandom since 2014 on and off)

Cookie Run (Kingdom primarily with a minor Ovenbreak focus for AU concept ideas)

Dark Cloud/Dark Chronicle (This one's SO obscure, but if you know these games then I give you a virtual baked good of your liking! These two games hold a very special place in my heart.)

Dance Dance Revolution, NotITG, Friday Night Funkin (I'm a rhythm game nerd and love the creativity of the communities surrounding these three - I just haven't been able to piece together anything for it yet visually except for FNF stuff on and off)

A Dance of Fire and Ice (Same as the DDR fandom part, but I've made a couple fanart pieces before so this one I may have an easier time of conceptualizing later)

FNAF (Specifically Security Breach AU work! This one's not as frequent as others but I still have stuff in mind for it. Security Breach is how I finally caved with the FNAF series as a whole after watching how the fandom grew over the years.)

Warriors (Warrior Cats, in our year 2024? Eeyup. I just like the funny spiritual witties!)

Team Fortress 2 (This one's in and out but it's one that I come back to a lot as my boyfriend, regularly interacting and involved in the GMOD animation community reminds me of my own TF2 stuff with his presence alone lol. Love you James! <3)

Persona 3, 4 and 5 (This one's a lil self-explanatory but I have AU ideas surrounding these games that I want to make more art for eventually)

If I have anything else not listed before, I'll add it to the list. C: Please keep in mind that although I dabble in these fandoms, AU versions of existing characters may be changed in terms of sexuality, personality etc to reflect the AU they are from (For example, I have a version of Cream Unicorn Cookie that uses he/they pronouns, and my Redeemed!Pomegranate Cookie from the same AU leans bisexual over lesbian for reasons relating to reflection of character and overall character development. I like to make characters more flexible while self-indulging, so keep this in mind). I note this because my own headcanons about certain characters have set off one or two people in the past unintentionally and they VERY much have pushed things in an effort to keep canon down my throat out of retaliation. Let's just say that this part in particular is a thing that taps a sore spot for me for personal reasons. :/

When it concerns making art of my characters - surprise or not, feel free to make art of them and mention me in post (and/or message me, either way works)! It makes me feel SO loved when I get art from others, and I appreciate every piece dearly. 💜💜💜 (I go so far as to hold onto an archive of art that was done for me - with artist names in-tact within the file name nowadays!)

A few things to consider when it concerns tickling-related matters with me:

I am a Switch! I'm unsure how far Ler or Lee I am just yet, but I do enjoy tickling both ways. Unfortunately, however, I'm the kind of person that practically flies across a room when poked,, (if it comes down to tickling my sona - Niko Spirata - tie or hold 'em down if you want to wreck 'em with tickles lol)

My interest in tickling alone is purely SFW - It feels too weird looking at IRL photos/videos with very rare exception (a lot of the exception is the giggle the lee produces from ticklish contact). As a result, all the stuff I'll be reblogging and posting here is art or animation-related instead!

My favorite tickle trope is the one where a shrunken someone or a small something wiggles under the unwitting lee's clothing to tickle them! (Points at wormonastriing's Squirmles as an example of this trope :3) No, seriously. If I end up with art of any of my characters getting destroyed with tickles in this manner I will ASCEND BEYOND GALAXIES.

My favorite spots with tickling overall are belly, side and rib tickling - on rarer occasions, I enjoy tickling in other places (I prefer foot tickling if the lee has paws instead of normal feet!). This lines up with a particular enjoyment of characters being slightly chubby! I looove a good squeeze of the sides or belly, enough to get the lee blurting out giggles.

I have only a few tags I use now on a regular, but these are:

#nikki-tine (This is my user tag and I put it in with my art posts and other things I post sometimes. You may also see others' posts under this tag, primarily with stuff related to asks or when art's been posted for me in the past <3)

#art, #tickle art, #tickling art (These are self-explanatory!)

#NJEGNJ (Something to that effect, lol. It's not exact but keyboard smash tag is typically wrote similarly or around the same for several posts, all of which ones that got me chuckling or giggling like a dork!)

My Commission Status is currently set to OPEN (paypal only, for now).

It's really complicated, however, and I don't have any other methods than Paypal and Robux right now so if you have questions about that then feel free to message me and I'll try to clear it up as best I can!

I only have two prices, both fully colored and shaded.

Chibies are $25 USD (+ 5 for an extra character)

My normal art style is $50 USD (+ 10 for an extra character)

I do best leaving the BG transparent, but if I HAVE to work on one then I can do nature-themed backgrounds pretty okay. It’s not a strong-suit of mine, however…

My Art Trade Status is Busted Wide Open™ to Mutuals, but I'm a little picky and choosy with random people.

If I decline an Art Trade, please don't take it personally!

In terms of Roleplay, It's Closed on-blog, BUT I'm Open to Roleplay in Discord servers (Provided there's a Tupperbot there for me to use).

I've been looking to find an RP server that has mutuals/friends and allows Undertale-related stuff (especially of the tickling-related kind!), so if you're a part of one please let me know!

DM Status overall is Open (As long as you are kind to me, I will return kindness back!).

My Asks are ALWAYS OPEN! I really like getting stuff in my inbox (and I unfortunately don't get asks often at all).

I'm most comfortable interacting with other adults and SFW blogs (this is more-so for safety than anything else on my end. I don't have the emotional or mental energy to handle potential drama involving context-disconnected words). I don't mind interacting with NSFW blogs here but only if in the context of specific interests of mine and not much else.

I don't really have much in the way of who can't interact with me as long as you are respectful/mindful of chat etiquette and are aware of the kind of impact you may make in messaging people like myself.

I do my best to look at blog descriptions and respect DNI's - If I end up poking at something I shouldn't by accident, as long as it's not met with aggression in DMs, I will happily fix whatever problem you may have related to that. I HATE making others uncomfortable/upset!

If you have questions, feel free to ask! I don't really use other forms of Social Media, but I do use some websites with a social aspect to them casually.

Links:

Flightrising (Funny dragon site)

Chicken Smoothie (This one's a fun lil adopt site from the late 2000s)

GPX Plus (This is literally Pokefarm Q before Pokefarm Q lol)

Gaia Online (Another old site with unfortunate currency inflation, but it's the site that's kept me going with character designing and such over the years! The blog part here is old, but the avatar is updated from time to time. This site is the reason I lean on Monochrome + a color as an aesthetic a lot lol)

Bluesky (mostly inactive - want activity there? nudge me here!)

DeviantArt (It's VERY rare I post here now. Also a warning for those under 18 - there's suggestive and nsfw art in my favorites dotted here and there so look with caution. my gallery itself is SFW however and all the works that would have been nsfw are archived.)

Artfight (Self-explanatory!)

#nikki-tine #introduction post #intro post #perpetual pin #hopefully it's enough for you guys - if I'm missing anything lemme know and I'll add what I can #Update 3/14/2024 - Added StH to my list of fandoms #Of all the things to forget adding...#Update 3/18/24 - Added info about making art of my characters in the post!#It’s been asked only a few times over the years but I figured it’d be good to add that in #Was asked about it in messages very recently - long story short PLEASE DO #I would ASCEND to see art of my characters!!#Update 3/21/24 - Added Ask inbox status #Update 3/22/24 - Added commission prices #Update 4/12/24 - Added my birthday!#Update 4/22/24 - Added commission post to comm status

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lunarbuck · 2 years

Text

Reset - Eight

Возвращение на Родину

Pairing: The Winter Soldier x f!Reader

WC: 3k

Warnings/Tags: somnophilia, oral (f recieving), mentions of infertility, fluff

series masterlist | my masterlist | ao3 | @hydravictrix | fic playlist

AN: i'm sorry this update is not only late but short :/ i hope you still enjoy it <3 thank you as always to @purpleshallot for being an incredible beta, this fic would not have been posted if not for you my dear

please feel free to send me any requests for one-shots /drabbles /headcanons you have for this series!! we’re almost done with fic so i can post them once the series is over :)

chapter 7 / chapter 9

Куколка

"How'd you know this was here?" you ask as James pulls the car around to a little private jet hangar.

James shuts off the engine and sighs, running a hand through his hair. It's gotten so long that it's almost always in his eyes. "I worked in Madripoor for a bit and had to come through here a few times. Figured it'd be worth a shot to see if anyone left their jets here." You nod, climbing out of the car and following James into the building.

Inside, you see an old jet covered in a thick layer of dust. You can tell it didn't get much use even before Hydra's takeover just by looking at it. James pulls open the door and examines the controls, mumbling to himself as he checks them.

You look over the jet's exterior for any damage, but you don't find any. Hope starts to brighten your thoughts. If James knows how to fly this jet and it works, you can be in Vietnam by tonight.

You watch James go through the motions of inspecting the jet. Though his movements are rehearsed, you wouldn't describe them as robotic. They are muscle memory, almost like a dance.

It comes to you in small moments like this; the realization that James is so much more than a soldier, so much more than the man that Hydra made him.

He catches your gaze, and you see hope in those bright blue eyes of his. Hope. It's such a fleeting, delicate thing. But despite it all, he is hopeful, and you can't help but smile at the sight.

"It can fly?" you ask, curling your fingers into fists with anticipation.

"Yes." Your heart speeds up in your chest. Leaving the United States for Vietnam will change things. You'll know no one there, have no friends, no family. You'll only have James.

Once you leave, there's no going back.

You chide yourself. You've been past the point of no return for so long. The moment you admitted your attraction to James, the moment you gave up on hope for Steve's return, the moment you let James into your mind. You fell off the deep end a long time ago.

James helps you climb into the jet and straps you in. His hands linger on your hips, your ribcage, your neck. He sweetly cares for you in a way you know he wasn't trained to.

This isn't the Winter Soldier. This is James.

Maybe it's not the James that Steve knew, but he's still in there. Little pieces of the man he used to be.

James readies the jet for flight quickly, fueling it up and opening the hangar with an expertise you should have come to expect from him, and then you're off.

Hanoi is beautiful. Maybe it's just because of the change of scenery, but you swear that the colors here are more vibrant. Hydra's cancerous touch hasn't tainted this city, and you breathe better knowing that.

There are people out, living their lives in a way you haven't seen in years. It takes you a moment to adjust to the nostalgic yet unfamiliar feeling of it all.

James stands by your side, a protective hand on the small of your back, as the two of you weave through the streets. You can tell he's on edge because of the number of people around, but you soak it all in and feed off of the energy of the city.

The flight was almost four hours, and the sun is setting by the time you and James find somewhere to stay. A little hostel that hasn't seen many tourists in recent times.

Right outside of the hostel are a few food vendors. You don't know where James got the money, but he pays and even tips the vendor after getting food for the two of you.

You sit on the porch of the hostel, watching the nightlife of Hanoi emerge as you eat. It's almost funny to watch James eat his Phở; the chopsticks and soup spoon look comical in his metal fingers, but he uses them like a seasoned pro.

"Where do we go next?" you ask James, stirring your own soup around with your chopsticks.

"There's a village close by, only 10 or 15 minutes away. I think it's a good option." You nod, savoring the flavors of your Phở. You've had it a few times in the States, but it was never this good.

"And then what?"

Silence sits heavily between the two of you. You'd never spoken about what your future together would look like. Would James even want to be with you now that he's truly free of Hydra? He doesn't seem to think of you as his prisoner anymore, so why would he feel any obligation to remain with you?

"And then we live."

"You want to stay together?" James' eyes dart to yours, clearly taken aback by your assumption that he'd just leave you behind.

"Of course I do." You can tell you hurt his feelings by asking that, and your heart tugs in your chest. Careful not to spill your soup, you shift to press your side against James. You rest your head on his shoulder, feeling him relax beneath you.

"What does the future look like to you?" He takes his time responding. You know what those Hydra documents said and how he reacted. Maybe the plans he once had for the future had to change.

"It looks like you, принцесса. It looks like you and me in whatever you'll let me have you. I want to make you happy; I want to give you the world." He stops himself, but you can tell he wants to say more.

You rub circles on his knee with your fingers, encouraging him to continue. "Those documents," he starts, voice tight. "If what they say is true, then I cannot give you everything."

He means children.

The Hydra documents explained that because of the serum, James is infertile. Your stomach turns at the thought of them performing those tests; you know he did not go into them willingly.

Part of you had already come to terms with this knowledge; Steve was also infertile. The night he'd told you, he'd cried. Steve wanted children more than anything and knowing that he wouldn't be able to killed him inside.

Steve tried treatment after experimental treatment, but because of everything else the serum did to his body, he was resistant to them. You'd told Steve that you didn't care that he couldn't have children. You loved him either way.

Now, as you sit beside James, you want to say the same thing.

"You don't need to give me children to make me happy, James," you say softly. "We can be happy in our own way." You feel him nod, but you know he probably doesn't believe you.

"It is probably for the best that I cannot have children. What kind of father could I be?" You can hear the disgust in his voice, and it sparks anger in your gut. You sit up and grip James' face with both your hands, forcing him to look at you.

"Don't talk like that," you say sternly. "You didn't have any say in the shit they did to you. How do you know you'd be a bad father? You care about me, right? You keep me safe? How do you know that it would be any different with children? You don't. You don't get to talk like that." James' eyes widen at your tone; you've never really spoken to him like that. But he nods in understanding before tipping his head forward to touch his forehead to yours.

"You would be a wonderful mother," he whispers. Your heart tightens in your chest, it aches slightly with what could have been, but the ache dissipates because what use is it to mourn what never could have been.

James looks at you, confused and concerned about what you might say next. You're not sure where your confidence in his ability to parent came from, but you stand by it.

He's been through so much, suffered so much; he deserves the joy and happiness that children can bring to life. It would be difficult, he'd have a lot to learn, but something in your gut is screaming at you that he could do it.

You hadn't given much thought about what it would be like to raise a child you and James had created. What they would look like, and what their personality would grow into.

All the lessons the child would learn.

The world is fucked up and horrible, but a child could be the light at the end of the tunnel.

You sigh and let the conversation fade.

You have James, and that's enough for you.

James

Мой ангел is tired, so she goes to bed before I do. Once she is settled in the room, I step back outside.

It has started to rain, and the moon faintly illuminates the rolling gray clouds that crowd the sky. I cannot tear my mind away from what she said earlier.

I know that мой ангел would have wanted children if things worked out differently. She probably had plans for a family with the Captain before I'd ruined it all.

She has so much love inside of her, so much empathy. She would make a wonderful mother. Her children would grow up to be just like her; kind and sweet and beautiful.

Before her, I had never thought of children. They were merely an inconvenience, a hazard. But when I found her, when I realized that my life would never be the same without her...

To think of something that could be ours, not Hydra's, not SHIELD's, but ours. It makes my head spin and my heart tighten in my chest. Would they look like her? With her beautiful eyes and bright smile? Would they have my dimpled chin and dark hair?

I had never thought of such things before, but now, my heart yearns for them. It is almost like a cruel punishment for all of the pain I have brought onto this world.

Whatever divine power at play does not see me fit to have such joy.

It isn't until the sun is rising that I realize how long I have been away from her.

I return to the bedroom and lay in bed beside her, holding her close to my chest until she wakes. As мой ангел's breathing changes, signaling her starting to wake up, I shift around her and settle myself between her legs underneath the blanket.

She fell asleep just in one of my shirts and her panties, and it is a beautiful sight. I place light kisses along the waistband of her underwear before carefully sliding them down her legs.

I watch her face for any discomfort or confusion, but all I see is a pleasant smile on her features.

She stretches lazily and settles back into the pillows with a sigh as I trail my fingers along her inner thighs.

Моя куколка, always one to please me, opens her legs more, and my mouth waters at the sight of her bare before me. I cannot hold myself back.

My tongue finds her clit, and I slowly lave over it in gentle circles. She tastes sweeter than any fruit; I can't get enough of her. Back in the compound, when I fantasized about what pleasure I could have with a woman, it was always about her pleasuring me. Me taking my pleasure from her.

This is so different. The way that I yearn to taste her, to see her writhing on my fingers and my cock, it's so new. I need her to feel as amazing as she makes me feel; she deserves it.

I have never wanted to make anyone feel anything before. Still, I know that I will not leave this bed, leave her beautiful thighs, until she is begging and pleading for me to release her.

I feel her fingers tangle in my hair and tug. Even in her sleep, she is so powerful and strong-willed. I let her guide my head and tongue where she wants me and as her grip tightens, I know she is waking.

"James," she whispers, voice filled with sleep.

"Принцесса," I reply, lightly biting her inner thigh.

"Please don't stop." So I don't. I pour every piece of me into her, working her up higher and higher until she is so close to that edge, just about to fall over it.

When she comes, her whole body reacts, tightening up into a ball of energy that she unleashes upon me. It is beautiful.

I come up for air, emerging from beneath the blankets to мой ангел panting and blissed out. A smile tugs at my lips, and I wonder if life can truly get better than this.

That is all I thought about last night as I stared at the homes of other people, as I imagined the two of us here in this new place.

Моя куколка finally calms her breathing and tucks herself into my chest. She is warm against my skin, but I welcome her, running my fingers along her back and neck.

I have never had a home. Houses, places I've lived, of course. But never home. Now, I hold her in my arms; I feel the press of her cheek against my chest, and the ache in my heart eases. She is my home.

When she is out of my sight, out of my reach, I feel what I can only describe as homesickness. It is a new feeling, one that makes me hurt all the way down to my long-lost soul. She is the only remedy.

The drive to Bat Trang is quick but beautiful. Мой ангел gazes out her window the entire time, and every time I glance over at her, I am taken aback by her beauty.

Before her, I never knew such beautiful creatures could exist in such an awful world.

We arrive in the village and leave the car; I want to walk around with her.

The village is known for pottery making, and as we walk around, I see мой ангел's eyes light up at the sight of all the different creations. She wiggles her fingers when she sees a woman forming a beautiful vase. I hope she takes up pottery making.

As we get further into the village, we are greeted by people working outside their homes. Мой ангел smiles, and I can see her settling in already.

Before we arrived in Vietnam, I'd found a man in the village who was looking for someone to care for his home while he traveled for a few months.

I arranged for it to be us. We only have to walk for a little longer until we arrive at his home.

It is small, just one bedroom, a kitchen, and a living area, but it is enough for us.

Мой ангел walks through the home with a pleasant smile on her face the whole time.

"This is perfect, James," she says, placing her hand on my arm. I kiss the top of her head and revel in the simple beauty of the action.

"I have a surprise for you," I say against her hair.

Мой ангел tugs her bottom lip between her teeth as she smiles, unable to hide her excitement for what the surprise could be.

Beside the house is a few acres of empty land. I walk моя куколка out of the building and out toward the middle of the land.

"I want to give you the world," I say, voice tight with emotion that I have not experienced before. "But until then, I want to give you a home."

Confusion flickers across her gaze as she tries to understand what I've just said.

"We already have a place to stay; what do you mean?"

I look around at the land surrounding us. I imagine our possible future, and it finally is within reach.

"This is where I will build our home," I say, turning back to her. I take мой ангел's hands in mine, running my thumbs over her smooth skin. "This is where we will live our lives."

Tears pool in the corner of her eyes, and I release her hands to wipe them away. I know they are happy tears. She is not afraid of me.

"James," she whispers.

"I would burn this world to the ground, raze cities. I would follow you to hell and back. The least I can do for you is give you a home, принцесса ."

She laughs and leans up on her toes to kiss me. She tastes sweet as she presses against me, and I wrap my hands around her waist to pull her closer.

I have already figured out where I will get the materials from and what our home will look like.

When it comes to her, everything is so easy. It all falls into place with little effort. I imagine building our home will be the same.

I look forward to working with my hands, to finally creating something instead of destroying it.

No longer the fist of Hydra, I am fulfilling my new destiny.

Knowing that Zemo was the one to give up our location still makes my blood boil, but despite his hatred for super soldiers, I remain.

John Walker wanted us dead or captured by Hydra, but he failed. At every turn, when someone has been there to stop us, we have fought tooth and nail and won.

It gives me hope; it helps me find peace within myself. There is more to this world than pain and violence. I just have to open my eyes to it.

Translations:

ангел = angel

куколка (f) = little doll

принцесса (f) = princess

please let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist must be 18+

General tags- please let me know if you do not want to be tagged in this series

@peaches1958 @prettylittlepluviophile @writerwrites @w0nderw0mansw0rld @hawsx3 @meetmeatyourworst @harrysthiccthighss @goldylions @late-to-the-party-81 @luxeavenger

Series tags - 18+ only!! must have age in bio - message me to be added <3

@/cwbucky @emmabarnes @w0nderw0man-reading @summerofsnowflakes @winter-soldier-101 @littlered6307 @peaches1958 @callingsergeantbarnes @fandoms-writings @prettywhenicry4 @zombiexbody @trinitytheinfinityromanoff @cjand10 @buckybarnesandmarvel @red42985 @thats-a-gaybie @hallecarey1 @snugglingbucky @/goldylions @wickidlady @saraissleepy @buckybarnesthots @shirukitsune @elizacusi-blog @kitty1960 @searchf0rtheskyline @buckyshbic

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thessalian · 4 months

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Thess vs Performance Reviews

I'm having my performance review this afternoon. However, since I've been so damn busy the last few weeks, I haven't had the chance to fill in my portions of the review forms, so I kind of bashed them out this morning. It's the usual sort of thing - figuring out how to streamline processes with our new systems, primary weakness is communication because I don't go into the office but can solve it with weekly requests for status updates, etc. I always at least try to throw in something I can improve, since no one is perfect. I'll be honest, though - at this point I'm so damn exhausted that trying to parse meaning out of all the things where I can say I either meet or exceed expectations is ... difficult.

Thing is, because I filled in the form so late, Scruffman had already filled in his portion by the time I got there. From what I saw, there are apparently still major differences in how I see my performance and how Scruffman does. I would generally say I meet expectations ... but my expectations of myself are apparently very high because he states that I exceed expectations in every department. His notes also state that I am always ready to assist, don't let adverse circumstances get me down, and in summary I am a credit to the department.

All of this is good. I said I'd probably require bail money if I didn't get a glowing performance review after all the work I've put in since August. But at least it means I can go into the performance review relatively relaxes.

And I have next week off. Scruffman finally approved it, since I was basically the first one to put in for it. I'm glad I did; after everything, I don't think I could manage another week without some kind of break. So hopefully I'll be able to recover well enough to not hurt so bad in the new year. All I really have to do now is provide dessert for Christmas dinner with the parentals. I thought it'd be nice to do so, since I'm the one that has the dietary restrictions and the parentals probably don't need to learn to deal with gluten-free baking for just one dinner. After a long debate, I'm thinking gingerbread cake. Possibly with coffee icing. So kind of like an edible gingerbread latte. ...Oooh, or maybe mocha icing.

Also, I did get my backdated overtime pay, just in time for the holidays. I think the one time I've been really happy about having done the overtime is being able to fulfil a promise/threat I made ages ago as re Baldur's Gate 3. Our Discord is full of screenshots and it gives me the warm fuzzies. (And I will get to play again at some point, I'm sure.)

#Thess has a day job #Thess cooks #Thess loves her Tumblr friends

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damatris · 7 months

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I was tagged by @fieldofclover!

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.

First fic you ever published there: Born of Familiarity

I ended up hyperfixating on The Witcher (all versions tbh, it's got so many cakes. And it's still having me in its grip.) in 2019 when Netflix released the 1st season. In spring 2020 I was painting a portrait of Geralt and the sentence "To Geralt Jaskier registered as quiet." popped up in my head and didn't leave me alone until I started unveiling the reason. And then I ended up writing the thoughts down in fic format, writing prose for the first time in like 8 years and fic in maybe 14 years? The overwhelming positive reception only fed into the rediscovering of how much fun writing prose is (had been doing only comic scripting) and I continued writing more fics. That one also ended up being the 1st fic of the series that's my main focus.

Last fic you published: Flying High, Falling Low (Latest update was on Winter Winds and Snowmelt though)

I'll be talking about both fics later on.

Any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once: Ouija Phone

It's a very slightly longer than a drabble crack fic for The Umbrella Academy. I just thought it'd be funny. It's also the only fic that's not for The Witcher on ao3.

Your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works: Winter Winds and Snowmelt

Will talk about it later.

Fic you wish more people read: I Get To Watch You Grow Up Now

This one is purely book based fic involving Dandelion and Essi. It's a short snapshot of their almost familial relationship. I personally like how it turned out despite not much happening.

Tbh, I'm not surprised at all that this particular fic has far less interaction than my other ones since it's not geraskier or has any other ship either. Plus Essi is only in a single one shot in the book series so she's not so well known character.

Fic you agonized over the most: Flying High, Falling Low

Decided to go with this instead of any long fic because the amount of agonizing versus word count is higher despite having written a bulletin point fic a couple of years ago which I used as an outline.

This one was for the Disability Pride Month Challenge in a discord group and I decided to use bipolar disorder. Which is what I have so I ended up using A Lot of personal experiences and that was both difficult and freeing. It's not the 1st time I've put them on paper or even leaned into fics but this time there wasn't much redressing some of the symptoms into different things/reasons and creating distance that way.

It's kinda surprising how very, very few fics there are with bipolar Jaskier since a lot of his canon behavior fits it. But from what I've observed, people tend to give him adhd if he's written neurodivergent. I wonder if it's because of adhd is better known or if it's because of the stigma still clinging to bipolar disorder (...most likely because of a combination...).

Fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort: There's Harshness In Your Voice And Softness In Your Hands

This is a funny and lighthearted one with concussed Jaskier. It was so much fun writing him being a bit loopy and saying only parts of his thoughts out loud to Geralt's exasperation. Plus, I got to write a whole silly ditty for it that I posted as a 2nd chapter. The whole fic was written wayyy past midnight during an insomnia spell which absolutely lent itself for Jaskier's thought process. It's also my most popular fic by a pretty large margin when looking at kudos, however I don't consider it as such. (That would go to Biting Snake Isn't Better Than Knife In Your Back due to the comments and bookmarks. Sorry for sneaking in a fic not asked for)

A work you are proud of—for whatever reason: Winter Winds and Snowmelt

Winter Winds... Gosh, I have so many feelings about this fic (And Biting Snake too which is the immediate prequel). I'm really happy with the way I managed to treat serious topics about mental health, recovery from trauma, and building healthy relationships both romantic and platonic. It's not a perfect representation but the way multiple readers have told me how much they see themselves/in general identify with what the characters are going through and how it has brought them comfort makes me feel like I've done a good job. Not to mention that people have loved the slow healing and found each chapter interesting is so so great to hear. Especially since Winter Winds is the longest fic by a large margin in the Geraskier tag on AO3. Which I still find absolutely wild! I have no idea how it's currently a bit over 472k words.

Also, I'm so very proud about the fact that I'm currently writing the last chapter of it. It's been a long ride, both with time and word count. I started it in fall 2020 so it's going to be slightly less than a 3 year project. And I'm almost finished. I'm actually having so many feelings about finishing that the last chapter is a very slow writing as I'm also letting go of the fic and all the emotions I've gone through while writing it. Although, the series it's part of isn't even close to finished so I don't have to say goodbye to these particular versions of the characters.

Uhh.. I never know who to tag but @dapandapod maybe you want to talk about your fics...!

#iida rambles #the Witcher #the witcher fanfiction #geraskier #the Witcher fanfic #Witcher #adventures with writing

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yupuffin · 10 days

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In summer 2016, I got one of the Japanese bookstore's last copies of the KAITO 10th anniversary album Glorious Blue. The whole album is full of BOPS, but I got particularly hooked on Doctor=Funk Beat by nyanyannya. I was super excited to see it slated to be performed at Magical Mirai later that year. I learned the choreography as fast as I could and became, to my knowledge, the first person to publicly upload a dance cover of Doctor=Funk Beat using the Magical Mirai choreography.

Sometime in the next few months, I got hooked on the rest of nyanyannya's discography and decided to subscribe to his Patreon. We got monthly updates and the early release versions of some songs, which was cool! I believe it was in the announcement post for the song Justin⇒Jive⇒Justify in which he included the song lyrics, footnoted with "It'd be cool if I had an English translation!"

So, like the bilingual student I was, I went 🤔🤔🤔, assembled my best attempt at a translation, and stuck it in the comments with "Hey, I wasn't sure if you were serious about wanting an English translation for this, but in case you were and wanted to use one, I gave it a shot!"

I thought this would be a singular instance, but I was wrong! Unexpectedly, this led to us collaborating on quite a bit of translation work for him over the years, including captions for his music videos back when community captions on YouTube were a thing. It was a really cool experience. I remember consulting one of my housemates, an exchange student from Japan, to help me proofread my responses to the messages we exchanged. Once nyanyannya started to get into Vtubing, I learned how to make subtitle files from scratch to match the skit videos he'd send me so he could upload them with the final product. Most of those videos have sadly been unlisted now, but I have fond memories of his avatar's antics, and many of the one-liners still live in my head rent-free despite the defunct source material.

The cozy fandom for his body of musical work "the Namari Hime series" was led by a dedicated user who'd host regular drawing chats -- the kind where everyone doodles on the same canvas while voice chatting. Every few weeks or months I'd get to wake up ridiculously early to discuss new song releases and favorite characters with a bunch fellow fans from the other side of the Pacific Ocean, and nyanyannya even joined in himself on a couple of occasions. He laughed at the cleverness of me posting a photo in cosplay of one of his characters "Cash" gesturing dramatically at an ATM. He rightly proclaimed our little corner of the Internet a "super cool fandom."

For a while, we had an unofficial Discord server for the worldwide English-speaking sector of the fandom as well. It's probably still out there, actually! It was really cool to see how the fandom grew over the years from just a couple of people to at least several dozen, if not more.

Shortly after protests broke out across the United States in 2020, I woke up to a message from nyanyannya saying he'd seen the news about what was happening on my side of the pond and wanted to ask if I was okay. It was really touching.

I followed his work less closely after he officially started Vtubing, just because, as a college student, I didn't have the spare time to watch a large quantity of ~3-hour-long videos. And a couple of years ago, I stopped financially supporting him after he started experimenting with generative AI to make YouTube thumbnail images and singing samples.

But we still follow each other on Twitter--even though he posts mostly about Vtubing now, and I mostly post about Hoyoverse games and not Namari Hime. I still see the selfies he posts on Instagram from time to time. And I'm still mutuals with a lot of the previous fandom members, too, even though a lot of them are less active and we don't speak directly basically at all anymore.

nyanyannya's song Fräulein=Biblioteka is featured in the ongoing MIKU EXPO North America tour. nyanyannya is not a mainstream musician. In fact, he deliberately quit mainstream music production before he wrote Namari Hime because of the toll it was taking on his mental and physical health, and turned instead to Vocaloid as tool to help him express his individuality, instead of whatever would be the most commercially successful.

Well, that's just one example. There's plenty more.

KIRA, the producer who wrote the featured song "Highlight," is younger than I am by several years. He wrote the lyrics to another one of his hit songs, "MONSTER," when he was sixteen, and almost scrapped it because he thought nobody would like it. Now a song he wrote played at COACHELLA and he's over the moon.

Utsu-P, behind "Hyper Reality Show," is experiencing similar feelings, as he never would have dreamed of one of his songs featuring at Coachella back when his parents bought him Hatsune Miku with graduation money.

yukkedoluce is another of my favorite Vocaloid producers. He grew up wanting to be an astronaut, but didn't qualify because his eyesight was too poor -- so now he lives his dream in a different form by writing Miku songs about space.

At one of the side events at MIKU EXPO 2018, my siblings and I happened to sit next to a Vocaloid producer named Lystrialle who specializes in making contemporary folk music featuring MEIKO and KAITO. I looked up her music after the expo; her album "You, in the Endless Starlight" almost literally defined my sexuality (or lack thereof), and my Genshin Impact AU is named after some of her lyrics. She runs a Mastodon instance for Vocaloid fans.

What I'm trying to say is... there are Vocaloid producers who might be more comparable to mainstream producers, and there are musicians who started with Vocaloid work and eventually transitioned to more mainstream work. But there's also an endless list of Vocaloid producers who make little to no money off their work and hence are far from major corporate entities.

Individuality and collaboration is at the heart of Vocaloids like Hatsune Miku. Miku is primarily a tool to give musicians the power to create the music they want, not to make a highly successful commercial product. I've given an entire hour-long panel on this that convention attendees still remember ten years later, but that's a lot to put into a post that's already long enough, so I'll spare you the details for now.

Vocaloid was one of my first fandoms back in 2011. I got into cosplay and dance because of Vocaloid. Now I'm heavily involved in my local cosplay performance scene, both in terms of participating in events and helping organize them.

How does that phrase go? Do not recite the magic to me; I was there when it was written.

Don't spread misinformation that Vocaloid producers don't care about people's feelings because all they care about is making a commercial Product(tm).

Instead, please fuck all the way off.

#soliloqyu #vocaloid #miku expo

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polyamorousmood · 27 days

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Hiii! (🫀again)

I really appreciate everything you wrote in response to my last ask! You told me to keep you updated, so I will :))) Things are going great (as they have been) with my bf, and he and I have a lot of date plans that are gonna be super fun! He's a nerd about a lot of things so I need to like catch up on everything he's interested so we're gonna binge the Daniel Craig James Bond movies soon.

While things are going pretty well between me and him, I'm worried that my metamour is feeling excluded. She doesn't say anything and she's always in a good mood when we talk (either one on one or with my bf), but she seems less close with my bf than I am. It just doesn't seem right since she and my bf have been dating for about a year and I've been with my bf for way less long than that. Every time we're in a group setting and I notice she's by herself, I include her in the conversation I'm having with my bf and she seems happy about being a part of it. I just worry that even if she acts happy and says she's happy that maybe she's a little jealous. And I do get that people have different love languages, and she's never really been as affectionate as I am (from what I gathered from my bf), so maybe that's it, but I just want things to be fair and equal between us since she's been around for longer and I just kind of showed up a few months ago and gave everybody an identity crisis lol Is there anything I should do to keep things fair between all of us? I just gotta make sure everybody's comfortable here since I want it to last.

Thanks again for everything you wrote last time I sent an ask!

- 🫀

Heya 🫀!

I'm glad things are going so well with the bf!

Seems like a mildly fraught situation with the metamour. 😬 I'm sure it'll turn out fine, but not exactly a fun place to find yourself in the meanwhile.

How I would handle this situation, honestly, is to ask my boyfriend to check in on metamor and express to him you're willing to make accommodations (with examples) if it'd make her more comfortable. And that's because I would have an extremely hard time being honest about a problem if a meta asked me directly, but that may just be me... 😅

If you think you have enough rapport with your meta to ask and get an honest answer, by all means check in with her!

It helped me a lot with what jealousy I felt to have some one-on-one time with my meta. When I felt like I had my own relationship with her, it was a lot easier to light-hearted-ly make issues known (IE, "oh my god, its late, I think I gotta kick you out now" when my meta had been over for 6 hours and I was Tired™️ or "jeez, you two, there are rooms in this house you could get, you know!!") without feeling like I was... just being a bitch and raining⛈️⛈️ on their parade. I don't know if that's how your meta would feel, but just a thought!

Good luck!

#🫀anon #ask box is always open

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return-of-a-space-cowboy · 1 year

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Can I request a scenario where Dio kills your fiancé in a duel for your hand and wins?

Hi sorry for how long this took, I was writing for this ages ago but tumblr updated automatically and I lost all my progress. To make up for that you have a full one-shot lol.

The Devil

(Yandere Dio Brando X Gender neutral Reader)

Warning: gorey descriptions.

That night had been the stuff of nightmares. It happened so fast; an eruption of screams flooded the small town you called home. You all scrambled through the streets, desperately trying to escape the monsters who had invaded the town.

You panted, desperately trying to breathe as you ran. Your legs felt like jelly. You tried to go faster but only slowed down as a result of your exhaustion.

A hand pulled you into the swarm of monsters, and you let out a horrified scream. Then, more and more hands grabbed you, pulling you in further. You thought they would have torn you apart and feasted on you as they had with others, but they didn't.

You and several women had been captured by the monsters and brought to a castle where their leader waited. You were all forced to kneel in front of a throne where what you had assumed was a human man with messy blonde hair, and amber eyes sat before he approached one of the women and drove his hand into her shoulder. She screamed as she desperately tried to push away. Her skin paled as he drained the life out of her.

He, no, it was indeed a monster. "Is this all you could bring me?" It hissed at the monsters. They quivered in response.

"Well, I'm sure that at least one of these will keep me entertained for now" It chuckled as its eyes wandered over each of you. The women feigned attraction to it in an attempt to spare themselves from a painful death like the woman before them.

Its eyes landed on you, your hands in front of you supporting your weight, and a disgusted scowl on your face reminded it of an event from years ago. Its interest was now on you.

"And what might your name be?" The monster asked.

"I refuse to give you my name, demon!" You hissed as you averted your eyes from him. Causing him to chuckle again. He kneeled down to you and lifted your chin with his finger.

"Shame. I'd love to know what name belonged to such a pretty face like yours," it spoke with a fake frown on its face. You felt sick to your stomach, knowing that this creature was flirting with you. You thought about your fiance; they had left for a few days for a business trip. You hated to imagine their reaction to the news of what happened. Unfortunately, you were so caught up in your thoughts that you did not notice your surroundings.

"I can already tell that I'll enjoy your company," the monster said, catching your attention before pointing to the other women.

"I've made up my mind. Dispose of the others," It ordered its henchmen, that spent no time tearing them limb from limb, all trying to get a piece like starved dogs.

You screamed as you watched. Then, finally, you stood and tried to flee, but it caught you.

🌹🌹🌹

From then on, you were locked in a room and the monster that called himself Dio would visit each night, offering you food, wine, and various gifts. In addition, it'd ask you a variety of questions. Some about your life that you would cautiously answer, while others were favours he'd ask of you, all of which you refused.

One time it'd asked you if you weren't afraid to die; after all, it could make you suffer the same fate the other women had for refusing its requests. You responded simply that you'd rather die with your dignity than bow to a monster such as itself, which it was amused by.

You refused its offers even with such devilish temptations of immortality and eternal youth.

Like every other night, it returned once more, but something was wrong; you knew as soon as you saw the sinister look on its face.

You sat still on the bed, staring at it like a deer staring at the barrel of a gun with nowhere to run. Extremely cautious as to what he could possibly do.

It flashed you its signature sinister smile, and your heart nearly gave out. Your whole body screamed to run, but you knew it would be a hopeless attempt.

"You have a visitor… said they were your fiance," it told you in a strangely casual way. Part of you wanted to think this was a sick joke, that it was lying to get a reaction from you. But, on the other hand, you had never brought up your partner in any conversation. Moreover, you had taken your engagement ring off before you bathed shortly before the attack, so it would have had no clue about your engagement, giving its words credibility.

"No… it can't be", you muttered.

"You don't believe me? Come and see for yourself" Dio laughed at your response.

"Do be quick, though. It's only a matter of time before they bleed out, " it continued as it grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you off the bed. You stumbled as you struggled to get your footing and fell to your knees on the cold, rough stone floor in front of it. Blood slowly forms from the scrapes on your knees.

The monster dragged you through the castle. Your pleading to let go echoed through the castle, but it refused. Your worst fears were confirmed when you saw your lover in the throneroom clinging to life. Deep gashes covered their skin with blood pooling from them, and both arms were gone; the only remaining parts were a dark shade of purple, almost as if they had been frozen off.

"(Y/n)", their strained voice called to you as they saw you.

"Darling" you screamed as you escaped the monster's grip and ran to them quickly to hold them in your arms.

"You shouldn't have come here", you sobbed.

"But I couldn't… I had to find you," they replied.

Your heart broke at that moment, your fiance had risked their life to find you for all this time, and now they were going to die. All the strength you had was gone.

"Dio, I'll do whatever you want. Please just let them live", you cried out in desperation. It walked towards you and put a hand on your shoulder.

"Hmmm… that's a pretty good offer," Dio said with a smile before jamming his other hand into your lover's shoulder, causing a hoarse scream to escape their mouth.

"But knowing that you still love another leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth. For that reason, I won't," it continued, followed by a maniacal laugh. You tried to remove its hand, but you didn't have the strength to do so. Soon you felt a strange sensation that forced you to let go. It was hard to explain, but it was horrible, becoming fully aware of every blood vessel in your body in the worst way imaginable for even a second.

The monster removed his hand from your lover's shoulder. You could only look up at it in horror as your body trembled. You couldn't even utter a single word as your lover laid dead in your arms.

It felt like forever that you just stared until you felt your lover move.

"Darling?!" You exclaimed as you looked down, but as soon as you did, they lunged forward, their head hitting yours, causing you to fall back. You looked at them before as they shuffled atop you. Then, you screamed as you struggled to push them back by their shoulders as you realised they had become the same as those creatures who served Dio.

You struggled against the reanimated corpse of your lover to Dio's amusement before it finally intervened. Grabbing your lover by the neck before throwing them to the furthest wall. You closed your eyes and covered them before hearing a horrible collection of sounds simultaneously. A loud thud and cracking noises were followed by another softer thud and an awful splat. You didn't want to look, but you did anyway. Through your fingers, you saw the wall. The bloody print left by the impact, some small parts of them still clinging to the wall.

Then Dio walked before you, obscuring the view with its body. You looked up at him. You still could not speak.

He wasn't some creature, monster or demon you had initially labelled him. Instead, he was the devil himself.

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sxilor-1010 · 1 year

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I promised I'd show off my beeg Halloween oc family, so that's what this post is about. All the art was done by my buddy @InfernalJade on Twitter and Newgrounds, please go check her out.

Other than that, here is my biggest group of OCs I have. Update (4-8-23): Added their respective voice claims! Please check for the latest reblog to watch. Update (8-6-23): Renovated the sypnosis and character descriptions so they're better written! Please take your time rereading :) Update (9-4-23): Made an Introduction video for the blog, please watch that first here before reading about each characters!

Within our world lies many tales, and in those tales lay legends told throughout history. Tales of trolls and true love, cautionary tales for children and the childish, and stories of the supernatural and superstitious. All of these fables were recorded over the years by many different people over many decades.

But that’s only to the people of Earth and the Dead. Beyond both planes lies a third realm, one where the Autumn Equinox rules forever. The days and nights are never too cool or hot, and a place full of humans and creatures of myth. This realm is Samhvilia, and it is the home of a wealthy family known as The Orthos Family.

The Orthos Family has been around for generations, and have been seen as high royalty to many in Samhvilia. It is here that The Orthos Family are keepers of deep knowledge. Books of lost history and much more from Earth are found and polished for Samhvilia to read. Whatever kind of book you wish to find, The Orthos Family will have it somewhere within their library filled walls. Not only that, but they’re the family that holds the Power of the Autumn Haunt (Halloween). Without it, Halloween would’ve been lost to time long ago.

But… even if they hold much knowledge from past decades, there is one story that remains untouched, untold by time. There is more to The Orthos Family than what everyone sees, and when two of the youngest sons in the family find a piece of an unsolved puzzle, they discover there is more to the Family and Samhvilia than anyone would ever thought. Join the children of The Orthos Family, as they embark on a journey of mystery. To understand a rabbit hole of untold history, and the true powers of the Autumn Haunt and those after it.

THE CHARACTERS

Founded by the Patriarch Samhe (Saw-way) Orthos, The old turnip has lived through much history and hell that he's grown tired over these last generations. He's often reserved to himself, but his cold and what feels like emotionless attitude can make the hairs of anyone who sees him stand up instantly.

He's not used to the world and how much it's changed, even outside of Samhvilia. His personality is that of a strict father, a tough and cold attitude to show he means business. In his spare time, Samhe likes writing in his room or reading a gothic book to himself.

Following Samhe is the Matriarch of the clan, Willo Orthos, A rutabaga headed nature spirit. She's somewhat similar to Samhe in terms of a strict parent, but she doesn't come off as cold or emotionless like he does. In fact, she's quite the opposite. Willo takes happiness in ger role as a matriarch and mother, teaching her children lessons for them to use as they grow older, and even offer a helping hand to those in need.

She has a few degrees in spell making, culinary alchemy, and party arrangements. Other than that, Willo is loved by her family and even by some other children. A kind mother despite being uncanny.

Moving from Samhe and Willo now comes the children. The first son of the family, Crane Orthos is the eldest of The Orthos Family children. He was raised by Samhe under a golden child influence, which developed his personality into that of pride an arrogance.

There are days where he's selfish, yet this doesn't mean Crane is completely heartless. He cares deep down for those close to him, whether it'd be his family or close friends (assuming he even has any friends). In his spare time, Crane likes to practice his sword fighting skills alongside writing down stuff in his private journal.

The next child of the Orthos Family is Hallows Orthos, the second oldest son in the family. Hallows' personality is described as charming and energetic, an optimistic go getter who loves playing tricks and pranks and having fun. He is also close to Crane, despite Crane having slight jealousy towards Hallows for being the Spirit of Halloween.

He doesn't care too much for his family's history archiving tradition, but rather he embraces the Autumn Haunt every single day. He is the Spirit of Halloween afterall, so to keep such a title and power is important. Otherwise Halloween as a holiday would've been nonexistent long ago. When he's not playing tricks or gobbling down bowls full of candy, Hallows loves playing around with his younger brothers and visiting Earth from time to time.

Next is the adopted daughter of the Orthos Family, Batile orthos is a vampire bat fairy who hailed from a different part of Samhvilia before she became a foster child. In the family, she's the older sister. It's unknown whatever happened to her previous family, but Batile doesn't remember. She's quiet, sassy, and a reserved bookworm who, like an actual bat, spends time hanging from ceilings reading or sleeping.

She's often the medium between Hallows and Crane whenever they argue, the older sister to keep Ignus and Scorch from making bad decisions, and her relationship with Willo by learning magic and feeling like she's a part of the family. In her free time, Batile likes to read magic books to help furbish and even improve her magic skills.

Finally, we have Ignus and Scorch Orthos, the younger twin brothers of the Orthos Family. Ignus is the one in the orange sweater vest, while Scorch is the one in black. Ignus and Scorch's behavior and age are equivalent to that of tweens, ones who love to play tricks and find new adventures wherever they go. They can be a bit dumbfounded, and even comedic, but both twins stick together even when things get dark.

Ignus is described as adventurous and mischievous, while Scorch is smart and cautious. Together, these two like to cause hijinks wherever they are, and they also have a great relationship with Hallows.

Binded by flesh and soul; We, The Orthos Clan, dedicate to the archives of this world.

#sxilor speaks #oc dump #halloween #all hallows eve #pumpkin #pumpkin head #nature spirit #nature spirits #faewilds #faery folk #fae oc #samhain #halloween oc #🎃 Buncha pumpkins runnin' round; Orthos Family Stuff #ocs #my ocs #my ocs do not steal #sxilors ocs

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cxttlefishcxller · 3 months

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𝟸𝟶 𝚀𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜

I was tagged literal days ago by @residentdormouse and honestly I'm the worst at remembering anything ever sO here we are again, lads jfkdl;safd but yE BIG THANK for the tag, let's see what kind of shenanigans I can get into

How many works do you have on AO3?

Five so far, none of them finished jfkdl;safd soon to be six, if I can get the rest of this damn chapter finished for Serenade's second iteration >.>;;;

What is your total AO3 word count?

57,252! Which is honestly more than I thought it was

What fandoms do you write for?

Man, what don't I write about? -ba dum tss- But for published works, it's primarily The Stand, with some IT thrown in, then there's Undertale, Gravity Falls, and Fallout. But I promise you if I like it, I've either written something or thought VERY HARD about writing something about it.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

This is easy, there's only 5 total fjdkla;sf but it'd have to go 1: Between Iron and Silver (an Undertale AU) at 22 2: La Petite Mort (a Fallout 3 blurb from ye olde k-meme days) at 17 3: Don't Fear The Reaper (A Gravity Falls zombie AU) at 14 4: Second Lead Serenade (My primary Stand fic that's getting a sERIOUS overhaul) at a whopping 3 5: Shine On You Crazy Diamond (an AU of my Stand AU only now there's Pennywise) at 2

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yES I try to every time! Sometimes I miss them though jfkdls;fd but I'm but a small hobbit that thrives off of validation, I adore every comment I get

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

UHM. Well, technically I haven't finished a gotdam thing yet, but it'd either have to be the Fallout one (which involves the MC slowly turning into a ghoul due to radioactive necrosis) or a pseudo-canon-maybe ficlet blurb thing I'm currently working on for Serenade involving a day in Teddy's perfect world, seemingly no-pocalypse centric, until you realize that he's not in some apartment he shares with his beloved girlfriend Piper, but trapped inside of his own mind by Flagg after being shot by Nadine.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, bold of you to assume I've got an ending on anything I write. But I'd have to say that the happiest ending I have PLANNED would actually be for Shine On. It's running along the plot of the IT remake, so the ending will have (potentially) all of our beloved Boulderites having their happily ever afters with the people they care about most.

Do you get hate on your fic?

My dear sweet anonymous reader, that would require for someone to actually read said fics. XD No for real though, everyone that's commented, friend and stranger alike, has been SO SO SWEET. I'm so grateful. No hate yet, but I'm sure I'd feel like I really made it as a writer if I ever did.

Do you write smut?

I used to! I used to write the SHIT out of some smut! But it seems like the older I get the more I worry about it being good, by whatever arbitrary unit of measurement someone may have, and then I just clam up and fade to black instead jfkd;lsafd I hope to regain my teenaged confidence someday.

Do you write crossovers?

The further I can get from canon, the better, as far as my brainworms are concerned! I only have one OFFICIAL crossover, but if y'all could see some of the bullshit I have in my giant stack of spiral notebooks, you'd probably be very concerned.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! At least I'm not sure why anyone WOULD. I only ever get a set amount of chapters into something before I'm spontaneously updating every few years like some literary cryptid.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Ohhhhmygoodness the memories. Passing notebooks back and forth in between classes to work on chunks of fics. Co-authoring Google Docs in back-and-forth narrative-laden pseudo-RPs. So, SO many Picrews. If my old laptops' data banks could talk. The stories they'd tell. In short, it's been a REALLY FUCKING LONG TIME but I had such fun with it. I'd love to do it again sometime. XD

What's your all-time favorite ship?

AUGH. UHM. If we're going for something in media I enjoy, I have so so many, but if I HAD to pick one at gunpoint it'd have to be Clarice/Hannibal. From like the OG book series. My poor friend group has already had to listen to me scream about subtext and discrepancies between media, so I'll spare the spiel but they're wonderful together and I'll die on that hill.

For stuff I'VE written? Teddy and Piper. TedPipes. ScreenPlay. My babies, my lovelies, my adorable idiots that can't quit pining long enough or can't quit fighting impending disaster long enough to realize they're already practically dating. I've written so much about them. I'll probably continue writing so much about them. I can't be stopped. jfkdl;asfd

Also for stuff I HAVEN'T written but exists in fic anyway, I'd have to go with both BirdBrains (Harold Lauder and Caktus' OC Crow) and HayGlen (Glen Bateman and Mouse's OC Hayden) because like. Have y'all seen them. HAVE YOU. Go see them. They're so so good.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them wELL that's a tough one because like. I bounce between ideas so much that it's hard to tell when I'll pick up a plot or drop a plot out of rotation only to pick it back up a year or three later. But if I had to pick one, Iron and Silver hasn't been updated since shortly after the pandemic started, and I really wish I could pick up steam on it again. I had a huge plan for it, and a serious amount of worldbuilding and backstory, but I just can't pick up the knack for it again. At least, not yet. I'm sure I'll come back to it eventually.

What are your writing strengths?

I've always been fond of my character development! I can't ever tell if I execute it well in practice, but in THEORY I have a good grasp of where a character starts and where I want them to end, and a significant chunk of what they go through to get there. I love Big Emotion. I love Introspective Pain. I love the silent struggle of Being Known. It's deLICIOUS, I keep working it into everything I write fjkdsa;fd

What are your writing weaknesses?

A: Follow-through. I have the Can't Finish Stuff disease. B: MOTHERFUCKING. ACTION SCENES. I can't get the pacing right! It feels too stilted or too flat, either too much detail or not enough with no happy medium. People who can write action scenes are glorious unicorns and I'm love them

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Wayyyyyyyy not confident enough to try it. I only know some basic phrases in Spanish, and some even more rudimentary phrases in Korean, and several swear words in a small handful of other languages. Definitely not enough to work with. I'm sure I'd manage to either do it wrong or end up unintentionally being insensitive. I'm a much bigger fan of just using italics to denote if someone's using another language instead, but that's a personal choice jfkdl;sa

First fandom you wrote for?

Labyrinth! To no one's surprise ever It was a horrible monstrosity of a trope-filled nightmare written in a Family Guy notebook in pure frigging pencil. I was also in the 6th grade. I wish I had Teenage Fef's shameless ability to write whatever the fuck she wanted. She was cringe but She was Free

Favorite fic you've ever written?

So far, Serenade is the one I've put the most thought into, and the one I'm having the most fun planning! Iron and Silver cuts a CLOSE second though; for the very same reasons, but I'm loving having the added fun of such indulgent friends helping me keep the Stand Wormies alive by hyping me up. XD

I also cast OPEN TAG! It does 6d4 Writing Damage. But if y'all want to, I'm also tagging @beyondthetemples-ooc, @jaiesondurantkross and @caktusjuice-draws in a totally no-pressure-ever tag <3

#fef writes #or really just talks about writing forever #it's my greatest strength after all instead of actually writing #but also thank you for the tag this was fun fjkdls;afd #I promise to actually write something sometime maybe #If I can ever figure out how to finish the first chapter of Serenade/Wanderlust and finally move on to the Actual Fucking Plot

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junkdyke · 1 year

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so during the party the other night, i left my phone charging on the counter for a few hours. when i came back, i had another missed call from my exbf. another late-night missed call. this is the 6th time in the last ~2 months.

when we were together, we had a rule. He was not to call me past a certain hour because he would have already been drinking. He'd be incoherent over the phone, impossible to talk to, and would rarely remember the contents of discussion from the night before. Like an alcoholic gremlin. We established this rule early on in the relationship, and it held through the entire 8 years. Usually he followed the rule. Sometimes he didn't, and I'd answer. It'd be pleasant at first until he got worse and worse and the realization would set in. So then there were most times, where I'd just ignore it.

But now, it's always a late night call. And now, I never answer. The first couple of times, I answered. He had news, updates, it was nice to catch up. But then there were no news...he just wanted to talk.

Is he lonely? Is he lonely when he has friends, so many friends he can talk to? When we broke up, I had none. I had none to talk to about the breakup. The only 'friends' I had proximity to were his. The ones who didn't care for me because I was the young dumb girl that thought we were just in it for the imaginary sex that wasn't being had. I didn't have time to make my own friends because he was my friend, my only friend, the only person i had frequent contact with. So how is he lonely when he has options?

He just wants to chat, about nothing. Little nothings. I had 8 years of little nothings. Of numbness, of comfortable settling that I didn't want to challenge because i was scared of what would happen to lose that stability. I couldn't let go of the constant when it was all i had. All i had known since before i was even an adult. I knew nothing else. Haven't you wasted enough of my time? Was the entire first half of my adulthood not enough for you, that you need to take more??? All the parties, the socializing, the traveling, all of the things I deprived myself of in favor of wasting away in the comfort of nothingness with you, that I'm finally free to experience and indulge in, and you want to pull me back in??? Back to the life that feel like it was happening to someone else, so much nothingness that I can't even believe it was me. I cant believe that was me. And you want to drag me back??? Haven't you had your fill????

I was so scared, so responsible of your feelings and your life choices and what you might do if i leave. The guilt of what would happen if i let myself be happy and made the choice to leave. I can't be responsible anymore. That prison of taking care of you, when you were the one who was supposed to be the adult. I should have never been a fucking child taking care of you. that wasn't my responsible then, and it most certainly is not my responsibility now. I can't feel guilty over how pathetic you look, sobbing, stinking of booze, so fucking incoherent just sad, sad that you might lose me. When you knew you already had. You knew when i cried during sex all those years ago, you knew. I don't blame you for believing me when i said it was just me, i know i was a convincing liar, i lied to myself, i lied to you about why it could work. But i blame you for not being an adult and recognizing i was a fucking child who didn't fucking know who she was. For not letting me go and letting me figure it out. And you still don't get it, because here you still are. Trying to drag me back.

I don't need to wake up to a voicemail of you crying, telling me you hate me, telling me i'm your soulmate. You hate me, i hate you too. I hate you for the years you took from me, i hate you for the time i wasted, for letting me believe that i was incapable of intimacy and romance for so fucking long. I hate you for trying to keep me in the past. I hate you for still making me feel guilty because i can just picture you sad, on the other end of the line. I can't be responsible for your sadness anymore, i have too much inside to bear anyone else. please just leave me alone

#personal #anti men #i'm so fucking sad #just please stay out of my life #take a hint because i cant stand hurting you anymore but please #just leave me alone!!!#straight era

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