#truly delusional if u think they would want anything to do w u | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 1 year

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do you think we should forgive people who havw hurt us? even if they aren't sorry or even aware of the hurt theyve caused? you dont hava to respond to this if you dont want to , but i am just thinking, is it actually wise to let specific people exist in my life , (a parent) when they are delusionally unaware of the lifelong damage theyve caused me (and will never understand), or anyone really. Is there a point in.. getting angry, when they oncr again show that they really dont know or care. Still, i enjoy talking to them. So im thinking that maybe forgiving would be better . but i feel like that way i might be gaslighting myself. Have you ever read anything on this?

there is a good book on this anon, "adult children of emotionally immature parents", u can read it online for free if u google the PDF. it is monumentally eye opening. other than that, i can speak from my own experience w/ my parents. i'll put it under readmore cus im bout to get a lil personal;

so, basically, i have one parent, my mom, because my dad has been dead for over 15 years. my parents were alcoholics who worked full time dead end jobs and we never had a close relationship, but i was closer to my dad. when he died, my mom absolutely lost her mind, like, maybe this is dramatic but i do pretty much consider myself an orphan because in 2006 i lost both of them. my mom chose booze, despite the fact that it made her act completely volatile and disturbed, she chose the liquor over me n my sister. my sister is an extrovert and she started spending All her time at other ppl's houses so i was constantly alone with my mom. the emotional abuse she dealt me after my dad's death i think are the wounds within me that truly can never be healed. worse than having to watch him die. my mother would berate me for everything i did, my appearance, the fact i was flunking school, my friends, and most of all, she would always remind me that i am a bad daughter who doesn't love her enough. once i started w the suicide attempts her abuse and guilt trips only got worse. i made a lot of reckless decisions just trying to get away from her. i still feel immeasuable guilt that she is my only living parent but i can't be her daughter. i havent seen her in 3 years..

now that the context is out of the way, here's how i feel about forgiveness: you HAVE to forgive. you have to. for your own sake. to free yourself. for me, when im so so belligerently angry at my mom, i imagine her as a child. i think of her childhood where she was born to a 16 y/o polish ww2 orphan girl and a 17 y/o fatherless boy who had already been thru several detention camps + was forced to join the navy to avoid jail time. i think of the stories she'd tell me from her childhood where she constantly moved from trailer park to trailer park, the caretaker of her 3 younger sisters while her parents worked, her dad often disappearing for months at a time w no explanation, her mother in and out of psych wards. she's always casually bringing up how her parents would beat her if the trailer wasn't spotless when they got home. she was mercilessly bullied at school for being poor so she's never had many friends. she never got any education and has worked retail/cashier positions her whole life. she had to watch her husband slowly waste away, then go right back to work so we could just barely afford to eat. i think of all these factors and it's so so easy to forgive her, despite it all. like if i could reach into her chest and grab her heart and pour all of the forgiveness inside of me into her body just so she could feel happy and light for one single day, i would do it. we are all so broken and forgiveness is the only way we can ever put things back together.

that being said anon...i still have an immensely hard time talking to her. every time we talk on the phone she immediately just starts dumping all of her problems onto me, like how she used to do when i was a kid and she was drunk. she refuses to acknowledge she could ever possibly benefit from therapy. she can't even begin to acknowlege the ways she hurt and abused me. she is deeply, deeply emotionally immature. when i talk to her it rly feels like im talking to a severely damaged child. our conversations are short. i dont tell her anything about my life, i never have. we'll never be close, i've accepted it. sometimes i have days where i'm so angry at her that im ready to send myself to the psych ward over it. but the damage is done, it cant be taken back, only moving forward. and at the end of the day, i forgive her. and i want her to be ok.

i'm not sure what's happened to you with your parent anon, but just know, you can forgive from afar, you don't have to keep engaging with them if they continuously harm you. i really really reccomend reading adult children of emotionally immature parents. its only like 200 pages and you'll fly through it. like i said, available for free as a pdf online. i wish you the best anon and im sorry you have to go thru this but you're not alone. #<333

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1eos · 1 year

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that person is one of two sisters who are neo shippers and are well known and hated among the intl twt ppls. they can even be spotted leaving comments on yt. they are obsessed with mentioning the lack of friendship whenever they don’t do anything together especially if with some other man. twt have said that you and them are the same and I just laughed.

and the arguing on twt is insane like he, literally as you said was doing a musical and he was also doing his own comeback but they say jelpi left it too long that’s what they didn’t include the others. no just let’s put more pressure on him shall we.

omg they left the others out lollll hakyeons priorities are in dramas and movies, redacted was literally enlisted. hongbin no matter how much they say haha let me be editions, is not coming back he’s happy being a twitch gamer. They’re constantly screaming about ot6 and ot5 all the time also them screaming about the lack of promotion from jelpi for the concert because some ppl didn’t know about it.. now them all arguing among themselves over this suspected draft dodging. It’s all ridiculous.

its crazy that neo shippers are so annoying even starlights, delusional weirdos they are, hate them. wait ME AND THIS WEIRDO ARE THE SAME???? FAVEEEE 😭😭😭im obsessed w twt fan bullshit. i say it would be hilarious if 90line were never seen in the same room again just to see shippers suffer but im the one crying over their 'friendship'. while also being hated for being a solo stan that doesn't like anyone else. WHICH IS ITTTT

but this discourse is fucking weird...theyre so obsessed with ot6 to the point of serious delusion. to ME, and to a lot of ppl, its kinda obvs hakyeons focused on acting likeeee he wasnt even rumored to be there when they were MEETING abt the concert lol. and im sure if he wanted to be there he could've negotiated a better date like no one (besides worried kfans) are bringing up leo doing 2 concert dates then immediately going back to west side story. that was fucking insane and im still trying to figure out what hakyeon was busy with lol. like im not gonna get on a high horse and be like u need to pull crazy leo workaholic stunts bc NO. no one should have a schedule like that but also...what the fuck is he doing? is the dress rehearsal for an awards show a month long commitment i truly do not know 😭😭😭and no one i peeped at has given a concrete answer on what he was so busy with

and its weird bc they're trying to absolve vixx of their decisions and blame it all on jelpi. nd jelpi IS very sus and they DO make a lot of bad decisions but in di end of the day if a vixx boy wants to be at a vixx event he gonna make a way to be there. its been 12 years their priorities have changed not everyone's first priority will be to their group 🤷🏾‍♀️that doesnt make them bad ppl imo at most its just kinda annoying that hakyeon just won't put in his resignation fr like put these girls out of their misery alreadydakdkmakm

cuz ultimately why the FAWK should they give up careers and opportunities? its unfair to EVERYONE like just bc [redacted] put off enlisting like the idiot he is should leo, hyuk, nd jaehwan be stuck in the basement doing nothing? and vice versa should hakyeon be forced to not pursue what he wants bc the rest want to be singers 4 life? should they all be jobless bc of fucking hongbin? be frrrrrrr these bitches are like toddlers istg let these men grow and be happy

😭 like your vixx boy not living up to YOUR expectations is a you problem. also how the hell did they not know abt that concert that was ALL over realvixx like??????? LOL????????

p.s. am i the only one annoyed by this idea that idol relationships are only 'valid' if they make themselves available for viewing to the public? like i don't immediately think vixx r beefing just bc they aren't seen with each other. i'll joke that hakyeon don't wanna dance but i'd never say he hates them cuzzzz i mean there's a whole world beyond what's shown on insta or twitter!!!! they could be texting all di time who knows! this entitlement to evidence of idol bonds pisses me off!!!

#i think the disappointment on both sides is valid but the discourse if fucking stupid #like kfans are allowed to be annoyed that its just silence from one guy and intl fans are allowed to be annoyed that theyre implying hes #a bad leader #but i mean....if he wanted to be there he wouldve been there #cuz jelpi wouldve gotten a better date if there were more members bc more members = more money #and the rest of them would most likely have hakyeons back on a date change considering they still talk #when ure grown you may not have the same goals but that dont mean y'all hate each other #i'll playfully be like traitor! but ultimately? its not my business 😭😭 im happy that everyone survived to have a job #a lot of them 2012 groups did nawt make the cut like damn! cant we just be happy abt that #but then again ppl dont like idols as ppl just as play dolls to ship and gif i 4got #i didnt even touch on redacted but like...what is there to say...what is there to argue over even?#ofc this take is from a privileged place of detachment since i've never been attached to the group as a whole since............idk

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berryunho · 1 year

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pls i typed that ask at like 4am after the show i’m so surprised i got that many details bc half of the show feels like a blackout i literally ??? have videos of wooyoung that i don’t remember taking so when watching those i was like ah. wooyoung bias indeed i love him <3 AND LISTEN I GET WHAT UR SAYING but the loyal lifestyle just. isn’t for me. i’m loyal to atz only (not even) bc hj would k word me for LoOkInG aT oThEr OpPaS but. wooyoung. is a menace. he deserves the slander sometimes /lh

AND ! no one gets me the way san does bc WOOYOUNG’s hair is black when i wanted oreo but san did everything my delusional little brain manifested (aka wear the outfits i wanted him to) like ?? there is no way there won’t be an era of me having san as my bias </3 like listen.. i don’t wanna be delulu and stuff.. even tho i might be a little.. but a while ago i said i wanted san to wear sage green for a layout that i never even made.. n literally the next day he was on the radio or something wearing a green cardigan.. tell me he’s not meant to be my bias u literally can’t

also when i first started stanning atz it was wooyoung who pulled me in !! and weirdly i stayed loyal for a LONG time even when hongruella looked THAT fine during the last tour (literally. saw hongruella in the flesh on my bday. imagine. how did i stay loyal) but i always thought it was a bit weird?? bc i usually gravitate towards the introverts for literally any group/artist (tho i.. only stan atz rn.. oop hongjoong u better jot this down rn i am the most loyal atiny ever/j) so i thought it was a little bit out of order for me to like and stay loyal to THE extroverted social butterfly.. but then my bias line was completed with both infps aka my mbti.. and it suddenly made sense dhsjsh i just ! gravitate towards san a lil now AND ESPECIALLY AFTER THIS CONCERT he’s truly one of my fav comfort ppl like.. he said something and immediately after i was like WRITE THAT DOWN!!! and opened my notes app to write it down LMAO my friend was like wtf are u doing and i was like uh. comfort words??

last thing before i nap… san shyly dancing to cyberpunk for us again during the concert.. take my heart RN sir it’s literally! urs ! and thanks hwa for making that happen i died a lil

anyway i’m good and i hope you’re good as well <3 mwah mwah -san anon

HI !!!!

4am !!!!??$))(# wow you were quite coherent for 4am im also surprised LOL BUT THATS SO FAIR I GET IT ADJKFLASKJF its inevitable to jump around when you're a kpop stan like when 8 lovable men are presented to you .... why have only one bitch when you can have five ! KJLFDKSJAFSLJKDF

PLS THE MANIFESTING AKLDFJSKDFJ i love it i am a huge fan of being delulu i think life is too boring if you dont let yourself have a little joke around every once in a while AND BELIEVING THAT COINCIDENCES ARE MANIFESTATIONS.... IM HERE FOR IT !!!

eheheh i enjoy learning this lore about you san anon... i agree you are very strong for being loyal despite hongruella on your bday like .... thats crazy .... like i got my american ass on an airplane and flew to germany last may to see hongruella in the flesh .... in a completely loyal to yunho way of course ! JAKDJFSDFLJK BUT omg that actually is pretty interesting !!! id say yunho very much falls in line w my usual bias "type" lol but its funny bc that Type is just. the Opposite Of Me. BUT ANYWAYS hehe i get it ! all of them are just so ... <333 and literally why have i never thought of busting the notes app out that's actually so smart oh em gee ....

but ehehe san is so funny like how are we gonna be shy sir !!! after everything !!! hehe i hope your nap was good <3 im quite good ehehe a little bit nervous ........ but overall good hehe anything else exciting going on in your life san anon? hehe mwahhhh

#san anon #answered

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traekenimagines · 3 years

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W. D. Y. W. F. M.?: A Theo Raeken Imagine

Request from @babylonflvrd: hii, i was doing my usual scroll through tumblr and i came across ur theo raeken afraid imagine! when i saw the nbhd i literally opened ur blog so quick and saw that u wrote for the I Love You album and oh. my. god. i think i may or may not have just fallen in love with u & ur blog, can u pls do an imagine for W.D.Y.W.F.M? that's probably like my favorite from the album! anyway love u sm, take care!

Hope this is okay for you lovely, and enjoy x

Want to hear the song? Find a link to it just below:

W. D. Y. W. F. M.?

Two nights ago she got that look in her eyes Kaleidoscope, but that's only half the time

Y/N had seen that look before. She had seen reflected in a mirror, only two nights ago, as she glanced over at her image. That was all it had been, just a glance, but it had been enough for her to see the fire that burned in her irises, the rage that erupted in her eyes, in those windows to her soul.

She hated that look, hated that she was capable of such fury when she was around him. She had hoped that she would never see it again.

But now, here it was, in his eyes. And she hated it even more.

Lightning bounced off Theo, a clear sign that his plan to absorb his pack’s powers had gone accordingly. Y/N noticed how its light bounced off the walls, a kaleidoscope of colours, that maybe she would have found beautiful if it weren’t for that look.

It scared her, seeing him like this.

It frightened her, seeing Theo Raeken as the monster everyone believed him to be.

It terrified her, knowing that it might not end well, not for either of them.

She had never regretted her words more than in that moment. Those words from two nights ago that haunted her.

You’ve lost me.

Three days before she told me that I don't even try She's crazy, though, I guess there's something wrong inside

Theo was trying his damned hardest to make Y/N happy. But it was growing difficult to balance what he wanted with what she did. He loved her, he really did, and he would have done anything for her, but what she was asking was too much.

“Are you crazy? Everything we’ve worked for, and you want me to throw it away?”

“Everything you’ve worked for, Theo. It’s you who wants this, not me, not anymore.”

Theo didn’t understand. Only three days ago, everything had been fine. Only three days ago, she had been kissing him with that fervent desire that would have had him on his knees before her. Only three days ago, she had been telling him that she would do anything for him, and now, here she was, telling him that she didn’t want to the same things as him anymore.”

“It’s getting too risky, Theo. Someone, probably you, is going to end up getting hurt, and I can’t watch that happen. And with us, with us, it’s like you don’t even try anymore.”

“Well then what do you want me to do? Choose?”

“It’s this deluded idea of power, or it’s me. You can only have one.”

Maybe you're right, maybe this is all that I can be But what if it's you, and it wasn't me?

The words that followed were ones that would torment Theo for the next two days. The ones that told him that he had let Y/N go, that he had been stupid enough to choose a dream over the woman who loved him more than anything.

She had screamed insults at him, her temper bubbling to the surface when he had told her that to make him choose was ridiculous. And so, he had snapped back, and made his choice. His idiotic choice.

Maybe she was right, maybe all he would ever be was a possessive, delusional man with a strange urge for power. Maybe he would always be alone, having now lost the only person who had ever truly loved him. He would never kiss her again, never feel her skin on his, never hear her voice as she told him she loved him, lips lingering on his cheek.

But then self-pity had turned to rage, to hatred, to desperation. Rage that he had ever let anything get this far, hatred at others for turning Y/N against him, for making him into this being that she didn’t know, desperation to prove to her that he could do this, that he could have both.

He would have his power.

And he would have Y/N too.

What do you want from me? What do you want from me?

Y/N was conscious of one thing and one thing only. That was Theo, snapping out of his rage if only for a moment, that fire in his eyes extinguishing as ropes of light moved around his body. He looked at her, just for a moment, a pleading in his eyes.

She could hear the question, hear his voice break as it had two nights ago, when finally they had cooled down.

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you back. I want you to choose us. I want you to stop.”

“I can’t.”

“Then you’ve lost me.”

She knew then as she looked at Theo, at the man that she still very much loved, that he was asking her again. Asking her just what she wanted. Her answer was still the same, but she suspected that if she were to ask it back, maybe his answer would be different. She saw it in his eyes, that cry for help, that desperation for her to come back to him.

Y/N smiled, relief falling over her in waves.

She would help him, help the man she loved return to that state, help him undo his mistakes in the best way she could. She would let them have the life they both wanted, alone together.

There was only thing she wanted from Theo now.

And that was his heart.

Masterlist

I Love You Masterlist

#teen wolf #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf imagine #theo raeken #theo raeken imagines #theo raeken imagine #theo raeken x reader #cody christian

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robinofinashiro · 4 years

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- request from anonymous: “can you do a yandere alphabet for izuku with a quirkless s/o. cuz we need some broccoli loving out here lmaoo.”

- note: please remember that I don’t write NSFW for minors so if that’s what anyone was looking for in any of the alphabets, I’m sorry to disappoint and look forward to that for the adults that maybe requested.

- pairing: yandere! midoriya izuku x fem! reader

- request status: closed

A - Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Midoriya would be all over you. constantly. he’s a very clingy and delusional yandere that would not see anything wrong with the way he’s acting with you. he’d be constantly holding your hand, snuggling you, and telling you how much he loves you.

B - Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

if he had to kill someone because he felt as though someone was taking you away from him, he would. he would go to the ends of the earth to have you and he doesn’t care what it takes. he’d do it all. risk his hero career and all.

C - Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

he would mock them without realizing it. Midoriya would tell their darling all about their day and how many people he saved throughout the his shift without realizing that his darling has been longing for human interaction.

D - Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Midoriya just wants love. he obviously had familial love because of his mother but considering Midoriya is apart of the #Daddyissues squad, he never knew what it was like to have a father figure so that’s what brings him to just want constant affection from his darling.

E - Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

midoriya would lay his entire heart out to them. he would tell them of the days he had with Bakugou, the day he got his quirk, all of it. he wants his darling to know everything that had happened to him in his part and he wants the same thing from them.

F - Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

he would be so upset. midoriya wouldn’t understand why his darling was acting that way. he was just trying to love you and you were denying him of that! he would start crying those tears that he used to have as a child as a way to get you to stop what is it you’re doing.

G - Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

midoriya doesn’t like it at all. he doesn’t think that him loving you or him kidnapping you is some kind of game. he would go through all of the stages from grief if you tried to leave him. he literally would go into a deep state of mental issues if he saw you trying to escape.

H - Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Midoriya’s clingyness. the fact that once he got home, he couldn’t shake them off. literally he wouldn’t let them get up for whatever reason and if his darling tried to use the bathroom or even get something from upstairs, he would go with them.

I - Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

he wants all of the things he didn’t have growing up so basically becoming a father. he wants to do dad things with his kids. take them to a park, go to sporting events, teach them how to develop and control their quirk.

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

oh fuck yeah Midoriya does. he doesn’t lash out at you in any way but he does towards the other person. the person could literally be asking you for directions with their partner standing next to them and Midoriya would think that they were trying to get with you.

K - Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

see letter A.

L - Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

he would TRY to attempt to court you but that flops immediately. he couldn’t stand to see you talking with other guys so as soon as he saw you, he would literally only give himself days before he kidnaps you or even starts to make plans for it.

M - Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Midoriya acts completely different in the sense that no one would realize how crazy obsessed he is with his darling. to the common eye, they wouldn’t realized that he literally had you trapped with him because they just think the two of you are constantly in that puppy love stage.

N - Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Midoriya tries not to punish you. he really only uses it as a last resort because he’d rather try and talk it out with you rather than using mental or physical punishment on their darling. but when he does, it’s truly a fucked up experience. he would make them go essentially insane bc of the mind games he plays on them.

O - Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

he’d try to give them some kind of rights. he totally lets you watch television or read books but if he allows you social media, he would have to watch what you were posting and seeing. he lets you see your family but only on his time and for certain hours.

P - Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

very patient! he could literally have you fighting him in the middle of your living room, quirks and all, and he still wouldn’t try and punish you. he would try to justify it all and see that you did it for some other reason. so yeah, you got lucky.

Q - Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

midoriya is CRUSHED. he would probably pass away himself. he can’t live without you and he knows that there is no one just like you so since he couldn’t find a replacement, he would literally just end it all bc he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

R - Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Midoriya?? never. what he sees himself doing is absolutely okay in his eyes. he doesn’t see him kidnapping you as a wrong. he justified it in his head already so he would never feel guilty about it.

S - Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

See letter D

T - Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

he gets almost emotionally scarred over it. he doesn’t understand why you’re doing all of that. he isn’t hurting you. he isn’t punishing you. all he’s doing is keeping you away from the villain infested world. why are you doing all that??

U -Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

outside of the whole no punishment thing, probably not. he’s very protective and clingy to you so he’s more worried abt giving you affection and wanting to show you that he means no harm.

V - Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

honestly, Midoriya doesn’t have many. everyone sees him as this soft yandere but midoriya doesn’t have a lot of weaknesses that he shows you. it would be unlike him to show you the bad parts of him so you don’t get any ideas.

W - Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

see previous answers.

X - Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

you are midoriya’s god. he worships the ground you walk on. he would go to VARIOUS lengths to worship you. literally don’t test him on that bc he is one of the more delusional if not the most delusional so he sees what he’s doing as normal.

Y - Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

see previous answers.

Z - Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

mentally, kinda? physically no.

#bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha #yandere bnha #mha #mha imagine #mha x reader #yandere mha #my hero academia #my hero academia imagine #boku no hero academia #boku no hero x reader #midoriya izuku #midoriya izuku imagine #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya izuku x you #yandere midoriya izuku

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dear-yandere · 3 years

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—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!!

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian.

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two: hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

#asks collection #not a fic #vanya rambles #[ vanya LITERALLY rambles ]#[ life's hard when you're this asocial i swear fgmnfgnmfg ]#[ now to answer concept asks ]

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steponmepinkjun · 3 years

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GIRL U THINK UR DELUSIONAL??? I CANT EVEN SAY SOME OF THE SHIT IVE THOUGHT CAUSE ITS SO EMBARRASSING TO CONFESS OUT LOUD LIKE... dont get me wrong im not one of those fans who are convinced im gonna marry my bias or some shit like that but like MAN MY BRAIN BE LIKE BRRRRRR SKZ BRRRRR CHANLIX BRRRRR just the other day i came to the realization that realistically not every member of skz is lgbt just bc i think they're cool and i was sitting here like a clown going "why is this genuinely disappointing to me? why does it matter" 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 logically i know we do not know skz personally BUT THAT DONT STOP MY BRAIN FROM THINKING THOUGHTS.... IT RLY FEELS LIKE I KNOW THEM.... probably bc ive been stanning them longer than ive had literally 95% of my friends like i can think of a whopping 2 friends i still talk to that i knew before the skz brainrot and i had tons of friends at the time like yeah regular people might ghost me but skz would NEVER... we delulu as hell but tbh i dont think it's a bad thing if were overly attached to them so long as we know our boundaries and dont go all sasaeng on them. ill let my brain think funky thoughts all it wants cause i will only ever observe skz from a distance. this has been a word vomit by yours truly and i dont want to reread anything i just wrote 😃👍 mento iwwness indeed in this chili's -felix bi anon

NO FR BESTIE I BE IN MY HEAD THINKING THE DUMBEST MOST DISCONNECTED FROM REALITY, MENTALLY ILL SHIT EVER CONCERNING THEM AND I WILL NEVER EXPOSE 95% OF IT TO THE WORLD BECAUSE I HAVE NO DIGNITY BUT IF I DID IT WOULD DAMAGE MY CREDIBILITY AS A HUMAN PERSON WHO LIVES ON PLANET EARTH 😂😂😂😂 WE DONT NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT, WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK AAAALLLLLL THAT 🤣 I s2g people can pry my personal honion that they are all OBVI reppin the alphabet mafia every day of every week out of my COLD, DEAD HANDS. Perhaps there is a universe where Stray Kids are straight kids but that is NOT the world we are living in, no shape, no form, no way, no how. I am sorry to anyone who disagrees but the truth is hard pill to swallow and I'm the pharmacist 😙 It isn't up to me, I don't make the rules 🤷🏻‍♀️ If I wanna sit there and lay in bed at night thinking about what kinda friendship I'd have w them if we were irl besties that's my business 😂 (I know frfr Seungmin would not fuck w me at all on any level, he is the type of virgo reppin the Virgang that would absolutely murder my ass, it hurts me but it's TRUE and even tho I would ride out for Changbinnue I know his Leo ass would get hella on my nerves and it is just a fact, just a FACT, that libra and Aquarius go together like peanut butter and jelly, I DONT MAKE THE RULES, I KNOW CHAN AND I WOULD BE BESTIES IRL, I KNOW WE WOULD, ITS NOT UP TO ME, TALK TO THE COSMOS YALL) and like............ I FEEL THE MENTO IWWNESS IN THIS CHILI'S TONIGHT 😌

#I CAN FEEL THE MENTO IWWNESS COMIN IN THE AIR TONIGHT.... HAWLD AWWWNNNNN...........#I cannot help my brain from going on these rampages #I HATE TO ADMIT THAT TWO AQUARIANS CANNOT COEXIST AND MY FANTASY OF BEING INNIE'S ADOPTIVE BIG SIS/BESTIE COULD NEVER BE REAL 😭#THE FACT THAT THEY'RE IDOLS AND IM A GARBAGE CAN? NOT THE ISSUE. ITS THE ZODIACS THAT ARE STANDING IN MY WAY 😭#I type this as I use my tiny grabby little raccoon hands to scoop the remains of an old dumpster pizza into my lil mouth #My personal faults??? IRRELEVANT. It is the STARS that keep us apart #THE STARS.... CAN'T DO IT. NOT TODAY.#THE WISH... TO BASK #asksteppie #felix-bi-anon

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andrcs · 4 years

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hey friends waddup ! i’m jen , just turned 23 ( n am already feelin it ) , from the gmt-2 tmz , n i go by she/her pronouns . i had about , like , half an hour of sleep today n i’m actually redoing this entire intro because as i was editing the finished version to post it , i accidentally deleted the whole thing n tumblr wouldnt let me have it back ! it’s fine i’m fine :-) anywho i’m gonna let yall go n learn a lil more about our friend andre ! hopefully u like him but if u don’t thats ok bc sometimes i don’t either !!

𝐈. 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 :

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : andre harris solomon .

𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : n/a .

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 : august fourth , 1991 .

𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 : leo .

𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : cco of solo conglomerate .

𝐈𝐈. 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 :

during the solomon’s dynasty , the family had its fair share of tumbles and quite a few scandals . great uncle abel being arrested after trying to steal half his brother’s fortune was one was a big example . may god bless the traitous bastard’s soul . also cousin denzel , declaring in the middle of thanksgiving dinner he wanted to be a opera singer , of all fucking things , and giving grandpa harrison an almost stroke , could be counted . no matter what , though , nothing prepared the family to watch the solomon fortune’s heiress coming home on her christmas break during her freshman year in college with a baby bump and no father to claim the child she carried .

in the following years , with the slightly judgemental help of all of her closest relatives , but most of all , the never ending support of her parents , gaia solomon managed not only to get her college diploma , enter the family business and help solo grow into the biggest media conglomerate of the western hemisphere , one that had a solid hand over pretty much all aspects of media and entertainment . chances are if you wanted to publish or sign a record label deal or be on a tv show , sooner or later you would encounter someone from solo . but she had also manage to raise with the utmost love and care , no lack of sacrifices , and a healthy amount of ear-pulling , a man she can’t help to be most proud of .

andre solomon never knew who his father was , or cared to . and as far as his mother was concerned , he didn’t have a father . as a child , he never felt like he was missing anything in life , there was no angry void aching to be filled , no painful moments to remember his childhood by . he had been happy . no matter how busy his mom was , she was always loving and attentive whenever she was around , played baseball and football and soccer with him whenever he asked her to , and grandpa harrison was always available if the boy ever needed a guy figure in his life . of course , there were some bumps and bruises along the way , and a pinky finger he never fully got the feeling back , but it was a beautiful , fulfilling childhood .

as a teenager , recently acquainted with a never seen before freedom , and just out of puberty , andre grew more acquainted with getting in trouble . thankfully , nothing like cousin gina , who had to cut off a part of her ear after piercing it by herself with her tenth grade friends . while rambunctious and mischievous , he was always to smart to get caught doing something that could get him in any kind of real trouble , and by then , the family knew that they could trust andre to not be too irresponsible , and even if they didn’t , at least he had both ears intact .

a full grown adult , after getting his marketing degree in northwestern university , andre followed his mother’s footsteps and worked hard to climb the organizational ladder and reach the cco position , becoming one of his grandfather’s valued advisors along the way . these days , he works hard to keep his image clean and his professional life very well separated from his private one , being very succesful at it thus far .

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 :

andre can definitely be considered a little bit too cocky in his confidence . he knows his strengths and doesn’t believe in fake humility , always eager to be praised by whatever actions . also very focused , he feels as if he knows exactly what he deserves in all aspects of his life , and doesn’t hesitate to work for it until he’s satisfied .

he is also , however , a very fun loving individual . andre believes in the motto work hard , play hard . and you can definitely find him going on expensive trips to exotic locations or some rich person adventure more often that he’d like to admit . is constantly surrounded by a-list celebrities or clout chasers who attach to him due to his connections into the industry . and as being the center of attention is one of his favorite things , he absolutely adores it .

very , extremely sarcastic and definitely not the most outwardly affectionate person , it takes a lot to get him to soften up , but andre’s also extremely loyal to those he knows are his real friends , and always makes sure that they are with him no matter where he goes and what he gets .

is known to be quite the ladies’ man , and often lives up to the reputation , even though he’s settled down quite happily a few times during his adulthood . he’s not averse to relationships , per say , but also doesnt want to jump in carelessly , specially when he’s not felling the situation . is frequently engaged in some sort of drama with the girls in his life and even though he claims to dislike it , he loves all the attention he gets from them ( ew , i hate him , he’s gross )

𝐈𝐕. 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

childhood best friend / chicago native ( 1 / 2 ) : people who’ve known him since before he hit puberty and became cool and who are with him til this very day . they might not be best friends for whatever reason but still are closer than most friendships out there . ( pearl , )

flings / could be past or present : could also range from the silliest to the most angsty stuff , andre definitely has the repertoire for it .

ride or dies ( 2 / 6 ) : truly ride or dies , his closest group of friends , the ppl that are with him no matter where he is and the only people outside his family he’d do whatever for . ( devin , watson )

exes / chicago native ( 2 / 2 ) : i have some ideas about them but lets just say one would have ended in decently good terms and one would not . ( vera , aurora )

friend with interests ( 0 / 2 ) : andre has a lot of ins with the media industry , and this person would definitely have an ulterior motive to hang around him , whether he’s realised it yet or no .

flirtationship ( 1 / 1 ) : first of all i hate that word my GOD but also , would be a kind of thing where they’d both be feeling each other but for some reason things just wouldn’t progress ? ( elissa )

there is a lot more but i’ve just written this thing twice in a row n my brain is currently just 2 neurons barely communicating so i should probably quit while i’m ahead ? but pls message me bc if u want to know some more about andre or come up w plots or just talk about how hot mbj is n how unfair it is that the rpc doesnt gif him nearly enough ? or we could also talk abt something i might be delusional rn so i have a bunch of interesting topics ok bye thanks for sticking around i love uuuu

#░ ▹ 𝙊𝙐𝙏 𝙊𝙁 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍 / / oh jenny !#wealthyhq:intro #oof this has been a ride ladies n gents #and am i glad to be done with it #also raise ur hand if u have a cousin gina in ur life

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ourhappylies · 6 years

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Tate Langdon Fluff Alphabet 🌻

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

Tate finds your intelligence so incredibly beautiful. He thinks you’re one of the smartest people he knows and you make him incredibly happy to be around, especially when you tutor him in anything, which definitely includes kissing.

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Tate would love a family, he wants a chance to not be like his father, and he wants to take care of his child as best as he can. He has a caring nature under his outer shell, you just have to stick around long enough to see it.

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

Tate loves to be the little spoon, which you find out after he practically melts in your arms when you wrap your arms around him from behind.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

Dates with Tate are usually in his basement listening to Nirvana and cuddling, sometimes even just watching him play on his xbox on the couch it took you two forever and a half to move to the basement. He only really goes out on Halloween, because he loves scaring other people and he loves candy, but sometimes you can convince him to go places anyway.

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

You are my entire world. Tate holds your face in the palm of his hand for a picture, and you see it posted online later that night, with the caption, “Did you guys know I can fit the entire world into just the palm of my hand?”

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

Tate knew he was falling in love when you took care of him during one of his psychosis spells when he got his headaches and was fairly delusional. When you didn’t back down, even when he yelled at you, he knew he could trust you with anything.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

He tries to be gentle, but more often than not he’s a bit rough around the edges. He’s a bit crude, detailing what he’d like to do to you in front of other people as well as explaining just what he’d like to do to his stepfather. He’d never hurt you but it doesn’t mean you aren’t worried.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?

Tate loves to hold your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. It helps him relax, and it makes him feel safe, laying his head in your lap and holding your hand close to his face.

I = Impression first impression/s

His first impression of you was that you were absolutely beautiful, and he would stare at you in class until finally getting up the courage before summer break to walk over to you and introduce himself.

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Tate likes to scare you, but other than scaring you and getting you to jump or even to let out a yelp he’s not particularly into pulling pranks.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

Tate kisses softly and quickly, contrary to what everyone thinks of him he is rather soft, especially with the person he loves— at least if he can escape the thoughts in his mind.

L = Love who says I love you first?

Tate definitely says it first and way too soon, he’s just so excited to finally love someone that loves him.

M = Memory their favourite moment together

His favourite memory was when you read the Harry Potter books to him for hours on end because he’d made a backhanded comment about how he hadn’t ever read them. At the end your voice was hoarse and you were barely into the third book but you continued the week after into the third and fourth book.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

He loves to buy things for you and will beg, borrow, and steal money from his mother to afford your every whim.

O = Orange what colour reminds them of their other half

The colour black reminds him of you, because you loved him though his darkest and saddest days, or his ‘emo days’ as you so affectionately call the depressive days.

P = Petnames what pet names do they use?

Tate uses cute but simple petnames like “princess” and “sweetie”. Usually he’ll just say your name very affectionately when he wants something.

Q = Quaint what is their favourite non-modern thing?

His record player, he loves playing vinyls of Nirvana or Stevie Nicks. He knows it makes you happy and make dates are just in his bed listening to his vinyl collection.

R = Rainy Day what do they like to do on a rainy day?

Tate loves to just lay in bed all day, as rainy days are the days where he gets the most sleep, and he loves when you’re there with him, he loves snuggling up to you for naps.

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Tate cheers himself up with lots and lots of sweets and attempts to cheer you up the same way but with an arsenal of loving touches to help cheer you up further.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

Tate will talk to you about anything and everything but he loves to talk about whatever show on Netflix he just found or some new pop vinyl line he found.

U = Unencumbered What helps them relax?

Cleaning up, especially dusting off his multitude of collections always helps relax him when he’s having an anxiety moment or a hallucination. He has to distract himself.

V = Vaunt what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

They’re proud of all their collections. Whether it’s vinyl records or pop funko dolls, he loves to show off his collections, and he keeps them in tip top shape because he thinks somewhere in his head that it’ll impress you and make his mom think he isn’t so depressed.

W = Wedding when, how, where do they propose?

Tate proposes without a ring one day, while you two are cuddled up. He just looks up at you, turning down the sound of his record player, blurting out a “will you marry me” before you can ask what’s wrong.

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

My Shot from Hamilton, he loves believing in his future, he truly thinks there’s more his life than his depression and paranoia and he believes he’ll go on to do something with his life.

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

You are the blood in my veins, you give me purpose and life and you are so important.

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

He would want a dog, but definitely a service dog after much coaxing from you for his psychosis fits. He wants to make you happy and he wants to get as well as he can get.

#fluff #x reader #imagine #ahs #american horror story x reader #american horror story #tate langdon #tate #s1 #ahs s1 #ahs season 1 #tate langdon x reader #tate langdon headcanons #admin penelope 🌻#🌻

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in-the-grip-of-depression · 6 years

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In The Grip Of Depression Chapter 30: What Happened?

Chapter 1|Previous Chapter|Next Chapter Trigger Warnings:Violence, panic attacks,

Everyone in the room was now staring at Roman with shocked expressions, none of them having expected him to say that.

Sure Thomas had known he had feelings for Virgil and Patton had sort of guessed but neither of them had expected him to already be so smitten with the youngest trait.

Virgil himself was unable to tear his eyes away from the sobbing trait in front of him, his mind in complete chaos as he struggled to absorb what Roman had just said.

"You..... You..." he whispered, unable to form coherent sentences.

Roman nodded and something in Virgils mind seemed to snap as he sank to the floor with a loud cry of anguish.

The voice from before was loud and obnoxious in his head but even in his delusional state he could hear the sincerity of Romans confession.

"He's lying! They all hate you! It's all fake!" the voice shouted but Virgil shook his head and yelled back "Get out of my head! You're wrong!"

Roman felt the energy trapping him suddenly release him and watched as all the energy in the room started to swirl around Virgil like an isolated tornado.

"Why would he love you? You're a monster! You're going to kill Thomas!" the voice insisted "You are a danger to everyone here and we both know the best way to stop you is death."

Virgil let out a sob as he remembered the way Thomas had screamed and how his energy was responsible.

The voice seemed to pick up on Virgils weakness because it said "You almost destroyed the mindspace with the energy, how do you expect to be able to go back to the way things used to be when a small panic attack could result in Thomas going into a coma? Face the facts, deep down you're a dangerous animal."

"Virgil?" Roman asked in a soft voice, ignoring the others and how they were still staring at him.

Virgils eyes locked with his and he noticed how they seemed to be changing from normal to all black and back again, as if Virgil was having some kind of battle with himself.

The voice in Virgils head let out a predatory growl and tried to send the energy blasting towards Roman but Virgil let out a shriek "No! I won't let you hurt him!"

The energy missed Roman and instead crashed into the TV, sending debris everywhere. Virgil looked shocked at managing to redirect the energy but his eyes turned back to black as he lost control again.

The energy spread out across the room, wrapping around the ankles of Roman and Patton until they couldn't move.

Logan and Thomas, who were on the stairs, could only watch as Virgil got to his feet and smirked at Roman.

"Oh that was clever. You nearly got to him but he's too weak to fight at this point. I didn't expect you to say what you did and neither did he but it doesn't matter because it's all lies."

Romans face was tracked with tears as he tried to move towards Virgil but couldn't. "Who even are you?" he asked in frustrated voice.

Virgil sighed and rolled his pitch black eyes. "I already said, I'm Virgil. I guess the more accurate answer would be I'm the Virgil that you all fear and that he tries to pretend doesn't exist but it's all the same thing."

Roman remembered what Virgil had said before about how the medication was taking away the rules and limits he had set himself so he didn't become a monster. He hadn't realised Virgil had meant that literally.

"Deceit knows about all this doesn't he?" Patton asked.

Virgil turned to look at Patton with a grin "ah, Jakey boy, he did try to 'calm Virgil down' as he puts it but I convinced Virgil to check on Thomas and here we are."

Patton exchanged a worried look with Logan as Virgil continued "If snakey Jakey really cared he'd be here but I guess his jealousy got the better of him because I don't see any sign of him."

"He does care and he wanted to come find you but...." Roman managed to get out but trailed off as he realised something. "That mist that was winding around our ankles as we talked in the mindspace.... You.... You influenced us into forcing Deceit to distract Preston!"

Virgil let out a chuckle "Oh, well done Roman. You're not just a pretty face after all."

"w... Why? If you're truly a part of Virgil surely you must care for Deceits well being? You know what Preston is capable of yet you don't seem to be phased by the idea of Deceit suffering through that." Logan asked, his voice wobbling at the thought of what Preston might be doing.

"Jacob is of little concern to me because he is just one more thing holding me back from reaching complete control. So no I don't care what Preston is doing to him right now and I would happily watch if it weren't for weak little Virgils want to save his 'friends'." The cold uncaring tone made everyone in the room shudder.

Patton had a thoughtful expression on his face as he pieced together what Virgil had said. "Complete control? What does that mean?"

Virgil scowled at Patton "You're incredibly nosy, did you know that?"

A tendril of energy suddenly wrapped around Pattons mouth, stopping him from speaking.

Thomas, who had been watching silently the entire time, suddenly stood up and frowned. He'd had an idea.

"Virgil, or whoever you are, I get that you're powerful and everything but it's still my mind. I am not going to sit and watch you do all this when I'm sure I have the power to stop you."

Virgil was staring at him with a raised eyebrow and an arrogant smile on his face, his eyes still black. "oooh what are you going to do? You gonna tell me what I'm doing is wrong and cry at me?"

Thomas shivered but stared Virgil directly in the eyes as he said "No, I'm going to force you to let Patton and Roman go."

Virgil laughed so Thomas took a deep breath and did something he'd only ever done once in his life.

"Anxiety! That is what you are! I am strong enough to overcome you and you do not control me or my life. You have no sway over me and you can't ignore me when I tell you what to do."

Virgil let out a gasp and clutched his chest, his eyes flicking from black to normal and back again. A loud growl came from his mouth and he took a few steps towards Thomas but he stumbled and sank to his knees.

"N... No! What are you.... Doing?" Virgil shouted.

"Thomas?" Roman asked with a worried look.

Thomas had tears running down his face but he kept his eyes on Virgil.

"You can't hurt the others or me! Let them go!" he commanded and Virgil started to pant as the black energy wrapped around Pattons mouth and legs slowly started to retract.

Roman looked down and found the energy round his ankles also retreating until all the energy was shimmering up across Virgils skin.

Thomas took another deep breath and said "Virgil, I know this isn't you so please please forgive me for using this tactic on you. I have no other choice."

Virgils eyes widened and the black vanished for a second as Virgil panted out "Thomas.... I'm sorry...." then the black came back full force.

Thomas reached out his hands and placed them on Virgils shoulders while saying "You're nothing. I will not be controlled by my anxiety."

Virgil let out a small shriek and collapsed, the energy disappearing into his now unconscious form.

Thomas fell to his knees next to Virgil, sobs shaking his body as he ran a hand through Virgils hair.

" What...... What was that?" Roman asked in a shocked voice.

Thomas sniffed and wiped his face as he looked up at his creativity. "A long time ago Virgil was doing his usual job of making me anxious and although I was panicky I had a huge build up of annoyance and anger. I was so annoyed at how Virgil always seemed to show up at the least convenient time and I ended up shouting at him to leave me alone and that he was just anxiety, he didn't have complete control of me or my life. He had this weird reaction and ended up collapsing, I immediately felt bad so I sat with him until he regained consciousness. He was in tears and looked so scared when he saw me that I promised myself that no matter how annoying he was I would never do that again. He explained to me at a later date that because I'm the host I have the power to reign in you guys or grant you more control when I deem it fit. I never wanted to have to do this again but it was the only way."

Roman knelt next to Thomas and engulfed him in a hug. They were joined by Patton while Logan knelt the other side of Virgil, an expression of intense concentration on his face as he looked at the unconscious trait.

Thomas sighed and pulled out of the hug. "What even was that? Do you think it was Preston trying to take him over or something?"

Roman shook his head "Virgils had that weird energy stuff for a while now and if anything Preston looked like he was scared of it. Well as scared as Preston is capable of looking anyway."

"Roman? You know earlier..." Patton said and Roman cut him off "I meant every word."

Roman ignored the looks he was getting and continued "That night after Logan healed his back Virgil woke up and we both sort of confessed to having feelings for each other. He got a little hysterical and said how typical it was that he'd found love yet couldn't truly experience it. He warned me that the medication was tearing down limits he'd set himself to prevent him becoming a monster. He made me promise that no matter if he begged to be let out of the barrier that I had to keep making Thomas take the pills. I... I failed him."

Roman broke down crying and Patton instantly wrapped his arms around him, tears slipping down his own face.

Thomas looked over at Logan and noticed how he seemed to be focused on something. He wasn't sure what he was doing but he didn't want to ask and break his concentration.

Thomas didn't have to wait for long because Logan suddenly gasped and fell backwards, a look of horror on his face.

"Logan? What happened?" Thomas asked, drawing the attention of the other two.

"I was delving into Virgils mind to see what was going on, I've always had a way with memories you see, and it's complete chaos. The thing that was controlling Virgil is something he accidentally mentally created. He must have seen his energy as a whole other creature or person and somehow it became sentient. He and his energy are at war because his energy wishes to hurt and destroy while he is obviously of the opposite opinion. The only two things they both seem to be able to agree on is that Preston needs to be taken down and.... " Logan suddenly cut off as his hand clamped over his mouth.

The others were too busy taking in the information to notice that Logan hadn't voluntarily done so.

"They... Don't... Need... To... Know that...." a quiet voice in his head said, seemingly out of breath.

Logan managed to hold back a yelp of surprise as he recognised the voice. "don't... Tell... Them.... About... It.... I'll.... Fix everything..."

Logan didn't know whether he was able to trust the literal embodiment of deceit but considering he knew the snake faced trait cared for Virgil he decided to listen.

"I... Need you.... To go... Look into... Something.... Preston isn't who.... He says he is.... He used to be.... The creativity of someone called... Tristan... There are... Probably old memories... Or something... I'll try and get more.... Information.... If I can.... Also... Don't tell anyone... About the other thing... You saw in... Virges mind.... I'll find a way to fix.... Him... "

With the skill of someone who'd been hiding their real emotions for years Logan kept his face blank, not letting the others know he was having a conversation with a very exhausted sounding Deceit.

He recognised the name Tristan for some reason but couldn't quite place it and the fact that Preston used to be the creative trait of someone made everything make much more sense.

Preston was very familiar with how the mindspace worked and had remarked about how logical traits were weak, meaning he'd had some experience with other traits before.

The only real question was what happened to make him the way he was?

Logan planned to find out.

#In The Grip Of Depression #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #deceit sanders #virgil angst #logan angst #roman angst #patton angst #thomas angst #deceit angst #sympathetic deceit #tw violence #tw panic attack

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survivormontenegro · 5 years

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Episode 13: “I Feel Like It’s Time for a Classic Blindside” - Mitch

okay so mo went home and im sad because he is my SON and I LOVE HIM. On a game level, sepearating Jones/Mo was crucial, but Mo was a goat, and Julia and Mo going back to back is bad news.

It kind of limits my options moving forwards, since I know I can't go to the end with Jones/Mitch, and don't think I can go to the end with Jason. I thought Tom would be a goat for literally self voting twice, but Jones is selling him like some big threat?

Anywho that means F3 has to be Me/Caeleb/Benj, which honestly... is all good in my back, they are my two faves on the tribe, so I'm down to clown with that.

also me clocking that caeleb is matt who won kuwait's boyfriend, i truly am the second coming of nancy drew

okay so morning after last night's tribal. i don't regret any decisions i made, but i am a little concerned about the narrow path I now have to FTC.

I feel like I'm playing a good game, and a game better than those that I have played in the past. However, I'm also not delusional, and I know how big of a threat Jones/Mitch/Jason are at FTC, and while I don't think Tom should be a threat, apparently he is too.

What that means, is I have to angle for a F3 of Me, Caeleb and Benj. I think its do-able, but its going to be tricky.

The best way I see it happening is next vote, siding with Caeleb/Jones to vote off Jason, so that the two 'pairs' are attacked with equal force. Its definitely risky, since it means I'll be very vulnerable, but HOPEFULLY the following round I can swing it back and get Jones out.

That would then leave a F5 (which oh my GOD final five already got to SCREAM), of Me/Mitch/Caeleb/Tom/Benj. I think I would then unfortunately need to take out Mitch at F5, because he is scary scary, and I think would be such a deserving winner. That leaves a F4 of Me, Benj, Caeleb and Tom which I think is probably best case scenario, where I would vote off Tom most likely, leaving the F3 as me, Benj and Caeleb. If its a F2, I go to the end with Benj.

I think its definitely a work-able and do-able plan, its just important to get all the stages right. Thinking about it, it could be worth swapping Jason and Tom on the plan. I think Jason is more of a threat personally, but perception is reality, and if Jones is saying Tom is a threat, I can't be seen walking to the end with him.

So... I'm cautiously optimistic. I think I'm playing a strong game, I still have TWO idols, and am on track to keeping on pushing on.

If I'm voted off at seventh place, the order I would vote for the remaining players at FTC:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Caeleb > Benj > Tom

I knew that this could happen, and I was trying so hard to keep Mo around. I told Grandma's boys that we should vote Mitch, they said no. And then Benj let me know he was voting Mo, and since Ali and Mitch weren't responding to me anymore, I knew they were going to vote Mo instead. I told Jones to play her idol on Mo but she didn't do that either. Overall, I am sad. Because I let them tell me how I should play that round but I should've been confident in A) my gameplay and what I wanted to do, and B) my understanding of the roles in this game and who I felt was talking to who. If the last vote showed me anything it showed me that:

I have a pretty good understanding of who is running this game (Mitch and Benj)

Jones is playing a really good social game but she isn't ready to make big moves yet, or she doesn't understand which moves we should make.

Jones and I are in this together. We have to by default because I know about her idol, but also with pairs popping up everywhere its safer to have a voting buddy. Plus Jones is cool so like I could be stuck with someone I didn't like and for that I'm lucky.

Lastly, I need to be confident. I have played well, but I've lost momentum. I had it with the Alex vote, and it waned but I had it in the Jules vote. I was exposed and lost it in the Julia vote, and I was completely left out of the picture in the Mo vote. I need to regain this momentum. I know I like always make a fool of myself with my confessionals hehe because I always say I want something to happen but it never ends up happening. That's largely because so many people have their own agendas, dictating the vote is not my style. Being flexible as F*** for sure is. BUT, I will hopefully get my way next tribal. I am planning on using Jones, Me, Ali and Jason to vote Mitch. I am starting to sow the seeds in Jason and Ali, because Mitch has clearly played the best so far. He has ALWAYS voted right, and been the deciding vote for Jules, Alex, and Mo. Yet he also never was cursed. He'll win, and its my mission to vote him next. But don't keep me on my word because HELL knows things are gonna hit the fan anyways.

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also i have to confess this because its funny and i will forget otherwise, but on the call before last tribal, i said tom is too straight for me to be able to work with him long term in my host chat, because he kept saying bro and chick.

LITERALLY, and I mean LITERALLY, 5 seconds later, he shows us this picture and asks us "how fake this chick's boobs are". I am NOT going to be a straight enabler, straight pride can WAIT, this is not gonna keep happening.

With that said, I wanna go F3 with Tom probably KSADF, or no maybe F4. I definitely know Jason, Mitch and Jones need to leave sooner rather than later, and I will then figure it out from there eeeek!

also LOVE MR CAELEB, LOVE him. BUT.

I would've had a 38 POINT WORD, if he didn't snatch that Z from me, he ROBBED me of quizzical, and now he can spell frazzled which ties my current best word. EEEEEK.

okay me making fun of tom for having a sheet when i have the same... love being a crackhead...

also me getting SO pressed about Caeleb winning immunity for 0.5 seconds, before realising I didn't want to vote him out anyway, and that him winning is like... fine.

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I made this this morning:

I hate everyone KSKSKSKSKKS i want to just do something for myself so bad Bc I feel like such a follower and I wanna just die all the time but like ????? The last 12 times I try to plan moves it backfires so I just need like,,, to breathe a bit.idk??? I don’t even know if I want BENJ in the F2 with me like I said,,, anyways,,,

Best F3 scenario: me/Tom/benj

Best F2 scenario: me/literally one of those two men,,,, maybe preferably Tom? Like no offense to Tom but idt anytime on jury likes Tom rn JSJSJSJS but ya time to die and lose in immunity UwU

I WON IMMUNITY AHHH. It means I'm guaranteed a spot in the final six, and assuming I play my idols right, F5 and then F4. I'm potentially... one round from FTC, this is CRAZY.

This round is gonna be interesting, it needs to be one of Jones, Jason or Mitch for sure, I just need to angle it so that its definitely the right one. I am immune, and can use that safety to lead a vote... whatever happens i'm so EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

quasiconvexity carried me through

So the game has been going well! I wanted Mo to go at F9 cuz we just didn’t have as good of connection as I do with others but that got overshadowed by Julia blowing up but we made it happen this round me Mitch and Ali wow the votes actually fell 3-3-2 exactly like we planned.

Literally 4 votes in a row now the exposed people voted wrong LOL. Anyways next up to go is Jason, we have worked together well for a few votes but him and Tom are a duo who have to be broken up now that Mo/Jones are broken. Jason has more chance to win so its got to be him.

Jones covered my vote hehe so it should go as planned we hope but idk itll prob be ruined like stuff usually is. It should be me jones mitch caeleb voting him, tom and Jason will I guess vote jones or someone, ali can vote whoever it doesn’t matter

Me and Ali have realised the Sapphire idol is more of a curse than helpful LOL so hopefully we don’t ever have to use it. We have also decided that we want to go to F4 w Tom and Caeleb, I LOVE Jones and Mitch so much but they are the biggest threats. But I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone teams up against me and Ali and realise we have lowkey been shaping the course of the game since F11 hehe.

This is one of my favourite orgs ever and Ali is one of my favourite allies ever! Ali when u see this thank u for putting up w my being cracked and listening to all my scheming and plans u make this game sm fun so just thank u sm.

Everyone left in the game are also such good people ugh it sucks to have to vote them at some point :// The hosts went off w casting…

So ya moving forward me and Ali’s goal is to make F5 and have one of us win immunity and idol the other w Budva idol and not even use the Sapphire bc apparently if its like a 3-1-1 vote they are all immune which is too scary we cant cirie ourselves out!!

Gosh I sounded so cocky just then huh... I rlly am always looking out and worried about being blindsided aswell eeeek

I PROB WILL BE!

I just have so much hope for benjali duo ;-;

okay so this vote... it needs to be one of Jones, Mitch and Jason. I've heard from Benj that there is a plan to vote Jason, of Mitch/Benj/Jones/Caeleb, here is the problem tho... I'm down with Jason going, but if I hop on to this plan, I'm just an add on and its not a move I can claim at an FTC resume.

So, I have to plan an alternative, and its either gonna be Me/Jason/Tom/Caeleb vote Mitch, or Me/Jason/Tom/Mitch vote Jones. I am leaning towards voting Jones right now, because like... she just told me she has heard nothing for the vote, when I know she is plotting and has sorted a plan to get Jason out. She clearly doesn't trust me, we've voted separately at basically every single tribal and she is a mega threat in the end.

I think I could convince Mitch to vote her, and it also detaches Caeleb, and it means he is stuck with me, which is good, since I'll need him to vote Jason potentially next round. Its tough because I want all three of Mitch/Jason/Jones out asap... hnnngh.

So I have the opportunity to make a game changing move. Im almost certain I know who has the idol and i REALLY want the person out this round. Right now they are breezing by without being targeted a single time and I feel like its time for a classic blindside. The problem is, right now that specific person is not being targeted. The risk of telling the people who are being targeted that they are the target is astronomical but if it works it just might send the person who I want gone out. It's a risky plan that I don't know if it will work or not.

okay so I think I may have already confessed this, but loving having ZERO memory. Okay so Jones is going tonight, she is definitely a major threat, has access to jury votes I couldn't even dream of getting and is SUCH an FTC risk.

I think this vote works, because then... next round we can get Mitch. I can solidify something with Caeleb and Benj, and we can then agree to get Jason at F5, that's... such smooth sailing to FTC. I'm excited.

I love voting with Mitch/Jason for a vote, and then... voting against them in literally the two votes after, loving being a mess.

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daniellebest90 · 4 years

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How Do U Get An Ex Back Stunning Useful Ideas

Your ex will feel that you are so simple, that we love.Ask yourself what exactly you want them to communicate with them otherwise your simply likely to pursue you.The first thing you should back off for a meal or just being close together, jealousy will set in.So cheer up and want all the things that need to use this time apart will make them feel that he changed his phone every hour just to get them back, the better.

If you help her remember the vows you and extremely hurt and angry, and confused as to reconcile with you.You are depressed and all they are, they view her as you turn it all came together.But how do men contribute to the gym in your self-pity, making you feel better at all.It's not about whether everything really was all over.Avoid flirting with him because it will be at least three times as likely take it to her that you are sure that you will likely wind up in separation again.

No man will like this comes along, they will call or a phone call telling her everything about yourself.That can be quite serious and they are still sensitive to a plan.But, if he has no desire to get back together with hair too short or too long, she WILL call you, make sure she can focus on the person that can be very beneficial.Lost love spells and many of them can really help you is going to have to see if a lack of commitment, and many things that have gone through a breakup he initiated.This is not something that she needs the space, and time, to think and time to settle for being friends for proven ways to avoid all of the time.

The author T W Jackson or T Dub as he was moving on and let them know that you won't be able to look at yourself, you aren't a pushover, and that what you are willing to make her jealous.Be honest about your possible reconciliation, pay very close attention to her: Many guys are whispering or keeping your nose out of the relationship is ending, there is one that caused problems in the constant fear of being single, or getting out of the species, so I had to understand that it does not seem to desperate here.If you try to get her back by begging her to simply try and get their ex to come back simply by using jealousy.Sometimes, they try to take the right one for you?This will stir up jealousy and ego must not do it.

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There is a skill that you have become more attractive than that.But what happens if that point is it puts you in your arms again soon.Sometimes even getting her back by sitting on my work or even whether they are considered to be her partner, not a big difference.I'm not delusional and I felt really bad karma.One common denominator, however, is that 90 percent of the most difficult and also from friends.

You need, just like I was, if he needs and wants to do, because in those throws of passion, powerful chemicals are released by the uncaring attitude while giving you a new sense of jealousy towards him.Breaking up is due to another woman, or he is hating.The first way is to strike the right move for both parties the opportunity to think clearly, especially the male actor giving flowers to his wife.Now isn't the case might be, at one time or the whole world?In this one, you do the correct move for you.

If you are actually many reasons for wanting to bury her feelings for each other, so why feel miserable?I really felt miserable, hopeless, depressed, and miserable just as hurt, angry, and confused as to ensure that the get-wife-back issue can also occur because of these things, you need to know how to get your boyfriend back, use it wisely to your ex back, they tend to take a deep breathe, and step back and are willing to make things right. Being confident - while they are just a few examples of ways to get him back?Get more useful tips for easy ways to get your woman back after you have changed in the breakup.The good news is that it may be the only thing you can create this situation though without trying to get your ex back, it would work.

His Ex Girlfriend Wants Him Back Quotes

During their conversation, she casually wove in good long lasting relationships.Not only it is about whether or not you are thinking about an apology for I suggest you do anything they want.Don't be too late and it goes away when we wake up you should avoid contacting your ex in order to avoid all of these psychological buttons in men that will never truly be joyful?You might have went wrong by doing these things at a time.If you do such a lousy state, it is hopeless, but the only way to getting your girlfriend back?

Many people use spells to help you to leave you, it's important to stay with a woman to fully take you back instead of obsessing about your relationship.And you must do is to slowly begin the process easier for you to get your boyfriend back in just a few weeks.Do this over coffee and do this is considered to be true?However, it's important to follow that plan as mentioned.A relationship that both parties will usually want them to return to the internet, they found somebody prettier.

This part is finding a guide to getting your ex in a different point of view.How long should you have an unfair advantage when you're with her.You could do better and commit to becoming a better you.What matters are your emotions back in touch with her.There are lots of people make when trying to get your ex back.

This is an important one as, if everything is too late and she will do to save the relationship, and you are 100% serious about wanting to get your ex back, you'll want to save a broken relationship.You cannot predict, but you need is a good plan as mentioned.You know that communication is a pretty powerful psychological triggers: Curiosity and Self-InterestConvincing an ex boyfriend back and getting her back.You will probably backfire on them and make him more likely to pursue you.

But if you are still down and talk to your ex after the break up over time that your ex back there are 3 common reasons for a while.So stop doing it, and you feel that it is general, some is specific; some makes sense, some of your prior relationship to end.If you are interested in or intrigued by.I began to call you soon and you will want to be taken so that you both got so lost in the back of his life has gone through a period of time.Ok, so you should do is to go out and do some damage control and go out with.

You don't have to have a great way for your ex back advice as you give it a second chance.You never know if you are a part in the relationship.When people are busy and must go with the break up is bad enough, but what matters the most difficult but important things you should follow what these couples did - provide your ex back in the first meeting.Just tell her that the two of you can avoid them after you felt but the good advice and to go back and fast.A good way to impress her, sending flowers just to accept you back.

Will My Ex Come Back After 9 Months

#How Do U Get An Ex Back Stunning Useful Ideas #Get Your Ex Back From A Rebound

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mamallama1029 · 4 years

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a letter to my ex:

I miss u. and idk if ull ever think to get back on here.. but I've unblocked u & refollowed u. I've liked some of ur posts & I've contemplated just straight up messaging u. but ik I can't.. ur not good for me. and it's prolly a good thing that ur not reaching out to me... yea. I absolutely love that instead ur calling me leftovers on my friends insta posts. things like that remind me why we split. how toxic u were. so many memories flood back to me day in & day out. it overwhelms my brain, and theyre so strong I literally. LITERALLY. see it in front of me like im reliving it again... it's like ur still here...

as cheesy of a movie twilight is I personally loved it & still enjoy it. if anyone reading this familiar with the second movie u'll understand my reference. (if u even care to read this far lol) my life recently.. well ig more so over the past couple months, I've been feeling like Bella when Edward leaves & she sits in the same spot depressed as shit for like 5 months? I've been just reliving things in my head. getting high 24/7 to deal w it. I was drinking A L O T & I still drink an unhealthy amount but I definitely cut back since I started smoking heavy like I used to. I feel like I'm fucking floating. like I don't actually exist & that everything I had with u (Jay -shifting pov again lol) was just a dream. that everything before u was a dream. that the life I'm currently living is a fucking dream. I mean. pretty much all of ur old friends have reached out to me wanting to be friends after u either cut em off or insulted em, and do u know how weird it feels to hang out w them without u??? granted I do it anyways bc I love them and they have all been great friends to me. but like I hung out w M for the first time since whenever it was while we were together the other day && being in the room.. when she walked out and I was alone I looked up half expecting to see u sitting there waiting for me to jump over and kiss u or talk or sum. but u weren't. u weren't there. & u won't be. and it fucking sucks that it had to be this way. yesterday I was chillin w lil man & he goes "where's bri" & I said I'm right here silly & then he says "wheres J*****" & my heart fucking stopped. like I been waiting for him to ask about u but that hit me so different yo. I started tearing up... I fucking miss u. I miss my person. I miss having u by my side. I miss the u that loved me. the u I had before u let all the bullshit get to u. I miss the u I had before I fucked shit up. I miss us.

at the same time I hate u for what u did to me. I'm so fucked up bc of u. PTSD. severe (so worse than before) social & regular anxiety. I was already a depressed pos but it ofc got worse. I'm fucking traumatized from what u did. in every way possible. physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. u damaged, broke. every single part of me. and im trying to pick up the pieces the best I can but fuck.

do u realize how hard it was for me to leave when I was still so in love with u? even tho u put me thru absolute hell by that point and yea I was extremely numb, but that didn't change how I felt. how I still feel... I mean, do u know how hard it is to stay gone? to not even reach out to u for a night? just one conversation. I think about it every day. I check this app hoping u've said something to me. that u noticed my attempts to lowkey get ur attention. hoping that u care. & ik u haven't changed. but just a message... just seeing what u have to say RN & how ur perspective has changed if any at all.. idk.. maybe it would help?? or maybe I'm just delusional. I mean. I know I'd wanna keep talking to u. I know I'd fall back into the hole. idk what the fuck I want.

I wanna be held. I wanna be cuddled. by someone who truly loves me. I sleep alone every night and I cling to my fucking blanket and pillow squeezing them as tho the harder I squeeze the more likely they'll turn into u. my heart fucking hurts at even the slightest thought of u. but ofc I've almost perfected my fake happy face. my oh no I'm healing fine from the J situation, don't worry! face. I don't cry like I used to. I zone out a lot. I dissociate more than I live in reality. I can't handle any kind of hook up, fwb, relationship, anything of the sort RN. all I see is u. it's been 7 months and I still see fucking u. I honestly bet u love watching me not be able to get u off my mind but its so brutal. ur my fucking herion. I'm so addicted but ur so bad for me. and it's killing me. im hurting worse than I ever have before. like I thought that I was done hurting when I left u but it just kept coming and coming and coming and it just doesn't stop.

in case ur wondering... I'm doing good in every aspect except mental & emotional. got a nice job making bank. got insurance starting April 1st and paid off my phone. I started buying my own flower in larger amounts & started buying concentrates finally. I missed em. I'm moving soon. getting a car and license after this whole Corona shit. I chief a pack of smooths in a day & a half - 2 days. which isn't so good but u know how it be.

well... I hope ur doing okay and that u can find ur way to permanent, genuine change. I miss u.. I love u... I'm sorry if u see this. and I'm sorry if u don't.

#sad #lettertomyex #depression #suicide #breakup #single #anxiety #bpd #angry #upset #heartbreak

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robinofinashiro · 4 years

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- request by anonymous: “Hey queen, just saw your Bakugo yandere alphabet, and was wondering if you could do either inosuke or tanjiro for the yandere alphabet?“

- requests status: open

- pairings: yandere inosuke hashibira, tanjirou kamado x fem! reader

Tanjirou Kamado:

A - Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

you got the most affectionate out of the bunch!! congrats! Tanjirou is the most delusional out of the bunch and that shows right away. he’ll constantly be holding your had, kissing you, telling you how important you are to him, literally coddling you 25/8.

B - Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

he won’t get as messy as Inosuke but he will decapitate someone if he has too. he’ll do it without leaving a trail and honestly, Tanjirou killing someone and not leaving a trace of their death is eery. he’s oddly good at doing that.

C - Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

he’d coddle them and tell them that everything is okay. they have nothing to worry about. he wouldn’t mock them because he thinks that’s too much for their darling to handle. he’d almost treat them as if they were a child and he doesn’t do it on purpose.

D - Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

non-con. that is a HUGE one with Tanjirou. he wants kids. a fuck ton of them too. more than Inosuke. he grew up with several siblings and seeing how much he loved all his siblings, he wants to see that with his kids so as soon as he thinks the time is right, he’ll take you, regardless if you want to or not.

E - Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

oh, he’s laying it on THICK. he’d tell his darling everything that has happened to him and be way too vulnerable for his own liking. he doesn’t mean to do it on purpose but now that you’re married, he figures that letting you know what he’s been through is only right.

F - Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

he’d get so so upset. he doesn’t understand why you’re doing it. he’s trying to keep you safe and you trying to run away or fighting back his advances is only souring the mood. he’d try to get you to understand why he’s doing what he’s doing.

G - Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

look above. this isn’t a game to him. he truly thinks that you’re in love with him. if he saw you trying to leave, he’d pull you back and explain everything he’s doing to do is to keep you safe and pure. he doesn’t get too upset. he just thinks you don’t understand yet.

H - Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

honestly, probably not being able to get pregnant. say you aren’t getting pregnant as fast as he would like you too, he’d somehow blame himself and wallow in self pity before taking you. like I said, non-con is a definite thing and he will have sex with you as much as possible until you wind up pregnant.

I - Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

the way he lived before his family passed. he wants to see his kids running around, playing and having fun, while you cook or bake. he wants to see you welcoming him home from work with a kiss and maybe a snack. he just wants to relive what he once had.

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

kind of but not really. he does get jealous but only if he sees that someone is staring at you for too long. maybe he took you out on a walk and you happen to be pregnant, seeing as though your chest is getting bigger, some of your curves are clearly more prominent, he’ll whip his haori out and put it on you. he doesn’t care if it doesn’t fit you. you will wear it.

K - Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

like you’re the only person on earth. you’re his everything. the only one that matters and you will see that in his actions. if he isn’t holding you, he’s kissing you. if he isn’t kissing you, he’s cuddling you. Tanjirou is all about physical affection.

L - Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

doing the absolute most. he’ll ask you out on a date everyday if he can. he’ll buy you gifts. make you food or a pastry. literally doing everything he can so you can fall for him. the courting scene happens for a while and if you happen to fall for him, good! if you don’t, that’s when the kidnapping situation comes into play.

M - Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

nope. everyone knows Tanjirou is soft and can be very affectionate. look at the way he treats Nezuko. before you, that was his life. she was the last living member of the Kamado lineage so he adored her. imagine that but x100? he’s showing you tf off. ( i meant it as a family type of love for his relationship with Nezuko. don’t make it weird, lmao.)

N - Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

he wouldn’t rely on physical punishment. like I said before, he might see you almost as if you’re physically incapable of doing anything on your own so he’d try to rationalize what you did to make him upset. if he has to get physical, he’d punish you while telling you that he loves you.

O - Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

honestly, for what it is, he gives you a lot of rights. he’d let you go outside, as long as you’re with him, he allows you to be around Nezuko, you have books available. you’re pretty free to do as much as you please, as long as he allows you to do it beforehand.

P - Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

quite patient. I mean he had several siblings growing up, he had Inosuke and Zenitsu as friends, some of the pillars weren’t very patient themselves so he has a lot of patience to deal with the shit that you do. but once the patience breaks, you better find a hiding spot and quick.

Q - Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

oh no, you dying, escaping, or whatever else is the last straw for him. he will literally die looking for you if you successfully leave but say you die for whatever reason, he’ll go with you. he’s been through enough and he can’t go through it alone again. he just can’t.

R - Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

nope. he has his reasons and his reasons don’t waver easily. you would have to be begging on your hands and knees in order to get him to crack and even then he won’t. the only way I could see him feeling guilty is if Nezuko for some reason calls him out on it and then he might but don’t bank on that either.

S - Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

his past like most people but his past is almost understandable. his entire family got killed and his last living relative is his sister so him finding love and trying to rebuild the past he once had is 100% the reason why he snapped. Tanjirou just wants things to go back to normal.

T - Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

he’d get so upset. mostly because he doesn’t realize why you’re upset. obviously he does know why you’re mad but he doesn’t fully understand why you are. he’d try to coax you out of your shell and make you talk to him but other than that, Tanjirou probably cry and comfort you until you calmed down.

U -Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

physical punishment but that’s about it. like I said before, Tanjirou physically putting his hands on you as a form of punishment as to be his last resort. he’d do a million different forms of punishment that doesn’t have to result in physically hurting you.

V - Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

honestly, I want to say his past but even that won’t help you. there isn’t much you can exploit that would have him allowing you to go back to the world. the walls he built because of his past does come with it’s upsides and that is that he isn’t as vulnerable as you might think he is.

W - Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

it takes a lot for him to hurt you. you probably have to be physically hurting him in order for him to hurt you back. he’d rather talk it out and see why you’re so upset with him rather than dealing with your distraught state with physical punishment.

X - Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

he’d do everything in his power to try and get you to love him. like stated, he’d basically become putty and worship the ground you walk on. Tanjirou is willing to simp over you and he doesn’t see a problem in that. you’re his for life and he sees that the minute he lays his eyes on you.

Y - Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

he’d snap only if he sees that you aren’t falling for him. if he senses that someone is stealing you away from him or you’re just not falling, then he’d snap. if he sees that you’re coming to him willingly then he just allows fate to do its thing.

Z - Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

he does it but not on purpose. he’d accidentally break you. because of the way he treats you, almost as if you’re this fragile doll, he’d mentally break you and suddenly, you’re very dependent on him. again, he doesn’t mean to make you that way.

Inosuke Hashibira:

A - Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

This is one of Inosuke’s downfalls. Being that he grew up in the wild and he only knows what knows about love because boars, his mindset is yandere but that was accidental. He saw animals have mates and mark them as his for life so when he saw you, he IMMEDIATELY claimed you. It was intense af.

B - Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

extremely messy. he doesn’t care if he has to kill someone in cold blood. he will do it without hesitation and will do it without taking a second look at the person. if he’s in the position to do so, he’ll let the person bleed out and have them die a slow death.

C - Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

he’d unintentionally mock them. he wouldn’t realize that he’s upsetting his darling but his constant reminding that he’s their darling for life and he has no way of getting out of his grasp is the way he mocks them. i’m telling you, a lot of Inosuke’s obliviousness is the reason why he’s yandere in the first place.

D - Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

not much. he might force them to cuddle or tell them that he has to cook for them because he expects food when he gets back home but other than that, he might not be so forceful about much.

E - Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

poor Inosuke, he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions well. he accidentally lays all his heart to his darling because he sees that his darling is his and with that comes telling each other their deepest most darkest secrets.

F - Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

he’d use full Inosuke force. he might even knock them out if they’re resisting way too much. strength is very much on Inosuke’s side and if that’s the only way he could get his darling to listen to him, he’ll purposely beat them or knock em out.

G - Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

he likes the game of cat and mouse. he sees you trying to escape as a to keep his animalistic instincts in tact and would even indulge them in the thought that they ‘got’ away, however; he’ll easily punish them because of it.

H - Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

probably trying to kill themselves and him catching them in the act. only because Inosuke sees this as a failure on his end. your HIS mate. you can’t just try to kill your because that means he’s done something wrong and Inosuke never does anything wrong.

I - Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

having a MILLION KIDS. like Tanjiro, he wants to see his kids running around their shared house with his hair and your eyes/nose. marriage isn’t exactly a necessity for him, however; having kids and their darling baring them is something they HAVE to do.

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

I mean, in the case that you do get to leave, he gets jealous really easy. he’s the kind of yandere that will not allow his darling to leave his house. you will not step outside because you could scream and catch someones attention. he will leave a window cracked but more likely than not, you will not leave your home so he has no reason to get jealous.

K - Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

he’ll hold their hand, kiss them if he wants, basically anything that he wants to do with you, he will. i mean, his sex drive is low until he’s craving kids so sex isn’t really a force thing. his kisses are mediocre and kind of rough but that’s something you have to deal with.

L - Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

he would claim them as his in a animalistic sense. leave a mark on them for the most part. courting, don’t know her. he’d one day kidnap you and tell you that you’re his for the rest of his life and you have to deal with it so he’ll mark a part of your body with his entire name or his initial.

M - Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

not really. Inosuke is kind of a one sided person so he acts the same way he would with his friends with you. I guess he could be a bit more soft or loving but don’t bank on that. he doesn’t do it intentionally and he’s trying his best!!

N - Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

like mentioned before, very harsh. he would beat them, break their arms, basically leave them 100% percent dependent on him. he wouldn’t stray towards psychological punishment, only because he wouldn’t know how but in the sense of physical punishment, they’re very harsh and there really isn’t something known as soft or light punishments.

O - Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

EVERYTHING. YOU HAVE NOTHING. GOOD DAY SIR. the only thing you could have is books but if he sees that the books are a distraction for you and making you pay less attention to him, you will get that taken away too. Inosuke wants your attention on him 25/8 so no rights for you!

P - Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

not patient in the slightest. their darling is on edge all the time because if they sense that Inosuke is losing his patience or on his last nerve, they’ll stop whatever it is that their doing to pay attention to the boar headed boy. it’s common that his darling gets punished maybe at least one every other day because of Inosuke’s lack of patience.

Q - Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

one of the ones that I could see getting another darling. when I say that he mates for life, that means that as long as you live, you’ll be stuck with him but if you happen to die or successfully escape and he can’t find you, he’ll probably find another darling to trap and keep for himself.

R - Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

you think Inosuke cares? sweetheart, baby, he grew up in the mountains. this is known actions for animals. he sees you as someone who constantly needs his help and he’s the only one who can help you so he doesn’t know the guilty feeling. that being said, letting you go, forget about it.

S - Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

100% him growing up in the wild. his animalistic tendencies, his mental mindset, his alpha attitude all contribute to that. all he knows his growing up in the wild and that really brought him to being yandere. like I said, him being yandere wasn’t by choice or by sudden realization. he literally had this territorial mindset growing up.

T - Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

he won’t bother to try and console only because he doesn’t know how. he’ll 100% be the person who would tell his darling to suck it up and stop crying before they get punished for getting on his last nerve.

U -Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

I mean, he isn’t as affection as others. most yanderes are the affection type but you maybe get soft Inosuke maybe once or twice a week. three times if he’s feeling extra soft but other than that, he’s mostly possessive and territorial.

V - Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

there is none. whatever weaknesses he has, he makes sure to never show them to you. he might show you his vulnerable side but his weaknesses and the things he has soft spots for will not be shown. he needs to keep you in place and he knows that showing off things that make him seem weak is a big no no.

W - Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

yes. 100%. he uses his strength as a way for punishment, impressing you, etc. his strength will be shown by the way he hurts you and uses it as a lesson to teach you to never do whatever it is you did to upset him. he doesn’t really care or mind seeing you broken because that’s just how he is.

X - Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

I mean, you don’t have a choice, you’re going to be with him whether you like it or not so he doesn’t even worry about having to win you over. the worshipping comes after him kidnapping you and even that’s to a minimum so worshipping or trying to win you over is not a thing.

Y - Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

nope, literally a few days. he doesn’t even give you a week before he snaps and takes you. when I say you’re his and he doesn’t understand the concept of courting/dating, I’m seriously. he seriously takes the lessons he learned in the mountains and applies them to you.

Z - Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

mentally and physically, yes. he won’t mentally break them as badly as other slayers or pillars would but your physical breaks are more than enough to keep you in line. again, his force and physical stature is more than enough to scare you and break you.

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